#i love my friends i would never do this otherwise
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Gen Z
pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader
summary: everyone seems to forget that Max is 26
a/n: not my favorite, but it’s something i’ve been working on for a while there will be no part two
requests open masterlist
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Breaking up with Kelly was extremely difficult for Max to do. Despite not being in love with her anymore, he was very aware of what would happen to P. Max knew it was better to break up than stay just because of P, so he bit the bullet. The next few months were lonely, having to readjust to being alone in Monaco with just his cats.
That’s when you came barreling into his life. Only two years younger than Max, you were a breath of fresh air for him. He really didn’t expect to fall for you, not so quick anyway.
You knew a bit about Formula One, but it was more to the extent that your home hosted a race, some drivers lived in the city, and your hairdresser’s son was a driver. It didn’t phase you when Max told you about his career and fame, you just thought the Dutchman was cute.
“Men who own cats are major green flags,” you told him over text when you first started dating. That might’ve been what really made Max fall for you. You made him feel young, understandably so. He was 19 when he first met Kelly, and she was 28.
Max taught you about the races, you helped him connect with his inner Gen Z. He taught you Dutch and how to game, you taught him slang and pop culture. The two of you were sitting on the couch a month before the Monaco GP, watching Cars of course, when Max asked you to join him at the race.
“Of course, anything for Lightning McQueen,” you squeeze his hand. You knew from TikTok that Charles, your boyfriend’s work husband, was Lightning McQueen, but how could that not be Max.
“Kachow,” Max says causing you to laugh. He has been watching the TikToks and reels you send him, usually something formula one or cars related.
Max is watching Cars 2 with you when he points out each driver in the movie. You store the knowledge in the back of your mind for when you watch classic races and Max explains things to you. You feel sufficiently ready for Monaco.
“Lewis, this is my girlfriend, Y/n,” Max introduces you to the Mercedes driver. You look at him, star stuck.
“I loved you in Cars,” you blurt out, causing Lewis to laugh and Max to hide his face in embarrassment. Max isn’t surprised, but he can’t believe this is how your first interaction is going. Lewis is just happy you aren’t with Max because he is a driver.
“Thank you, how old are you?” Lewis asks, ready to feel old.
“24, two years younger than Maxie,” you smile lovingly at your boyfriend.
“I forgot how young you actually are,” Lewis’s unspoken words hang in the air between him and Max. Now that you are dating someone closer to your own age.
Lewis’s statement seemed to be the general consensus when everyone saw you with him. Max looked and acted like he was 26. He was using slang you taught him, he was making pop culture references that he likely wouldn’t have known otherwise. He was getting to experience his twenty’s like he should have been, not as if he was much older than he was.
Lando was the most excited to meet you, not only were you his age, but you brought out Max’s inner child that Lando never could.
“I’m stealing your girlfriend,” Lando tells Max, wanting to claim you as his best friend.
“No,” Max deadpans.
“What if Lando is my bestie?” you ask Max, who can’t say no to you.
“Then I guess that’s okay,” Max kisses your temple.
“OMG, McLaren is doing another hide and seek video, you two should join,” Lando proposes.
“That actually sounds fun,” Max says, looking at you for confirmation.
“I’m in,” you smile, letting Lando lead the way.
The video is a hit, the fans are loving this version of Max. Max is loving this version of him too, for once he doesn’t feel like he has to grow up faster than he should.
“Stay away from her, she’s no good for you. Act like a grown up,” you overhear Jos tell Max as you come back to the garage from hospitality. You have yet to meet Jos, Max made it very clear that he doesn’t want you near his dad. The memes the two of you send back and forth are a good enough reason why, so you hang back.
“What do you mean? I am. I’m 26, why should I act like I’m 40? I am happier with her than I was with Kelly,” Max argues back, you hold yourself back.
“World Champions are serious, mature. Quit acting like Lando Norris and more like an adult,” Jos is seething.
“Ask Max to come back here, say the team needs him or something,” you as an engineer when you notice Jos getting angrier.
“Then why am I leading by a heavy margin already. You just can’t handle that I am putting myself first. What would you even know about being a champion? You never won a race!” Max yells. The engineer quickly cuts in and leads Max to you.
“You gagged him, baby. Are you okay?” Max hugs you, you just rub his back as he regulates his breathing.
“He’s an opp, for real,” Max mutters into your shoulder, causing you to snort with laughter.
“God, I love you,” you can’t contain the laughter. Max joins in, your smile is infectious.
“I did use it right, no?” Max asks between the laughter.
“You did, I just wasn’t expecting it,” you take a deep breath, calming down.
“No cap?”
“Alright, you are using too much. Where is old man Max, this is freaky,” you take a step back, the smile that remains on your face betrays your words.
“You got me into my gen z era, you get the consequences,” Max pulls you back into him as you groan in annoyance.
“I love you too,” he laughs, peppering your face with kisses.
And when a journalist is brave enough to ask about the shift in Max? He’s always eager to talk about you.
“My girlfriend forced me to watch hours of YouTube compilations about formula one memes. We are always sending different memes to each other, she definitely helps me remember to laugh more,” Max gushes.
“I guess we all forget that you aren’t nearly forty,” the journalist nods. Max answers a few more questions before finding you in his drivers room. He lays down on the couch, his head on your lap.
“What’s on your mind?” you run your hand through Max’s hair.
“Have I changed that much?” he asks, his blue eyes looking up at you.
“I don’t think so, I think you’ve just started being yourself around more people. You are still the same Max that I first met and fell in love with, everyone else is just seeing that Max,” you are confused about the question, but answer him. Max doesn’t reply, he just nuzzles closer to you.
“I like this version of me,” he says into your shirt a few minutes later, you keep playing with his hair.
“I’m glad, but I like every version of you, Max. Even old man Max,” you smile as he sits up.
“Old man? How about I show you how far from true that is,” there is a look in his eye that tells you that you just started something.
“And how will you do that?” you decide to entertain him as he slips his hands under your shirt.
“I don’t think I need to tell you.”
#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 grid#max verstappen#max verstappen imagines#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader
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Best friends to lovers, but it's Dick Grayson.
≈1.3K words, CWs: F!Reader, cunnilingus, dirty talk. Pet-names: Princess, baby girl, pretty girl.
Rating: 18+ MINOR DNI
Your best friend Dick Grayson has no boundaries.
He helps himself to your food, swapping and changing dumplings for noodles, carrots for celery, dips his fries in your milkshake, without even asking.
He leaves his dirty clothes in your washing hamper, ‘borrows’ your lotions, and leaves his streaming services logged in on all your devices. In the winter he puts his cold hands under your shirt, stealing your warmth, and laughs when you flinch. “But you’re so hot!” He whines, hugging you tighter, “Let me hold you a while longer, please.”
In the summer he struts around your apartment, shirtless and sheening with sweat, eating your ice cream, pumping up the AC so he and Haley can chill out post-run. Not that you mind, it’s just that ‘oh, no, he’s my best friend’ is a hard sell when you bring dates home.
At random hours of the early morning, he wakes you up by crawling into bed with you, clings to the over-sized shirt you're sleeping in that is clearly his and makes fun of your tattered old underwear. “They’re comfy!” “They’re… something...” He trails off, all dreamy and quiet, refusing to expand before falling asleep, and is gone by the time you wake up.
Your best friend Dick Grayson brings you gifts from all over the world. Chocolates from that one mom-and-pop you once mentioned in Keystone, jewellery, and perfume he probably paid way too much for from market vendors in cities like Paris and Istanbul, risqué pieces of underwear from Milan.
On late nights, he rests his head on your tummy, settled between your thighs as you watch your favourite film series for the nth time, smiling to himself as you babble on about your favourite scenes, about facts he already knows because you already told him, but he wants to hear you say it again anyway. When you start falling asleep on the couch, he lifts you, bridal style with ease, and carries you to the bedroom. “Come on then princess, let’s get you to bed.” “I can do it myself.” “You can’t even keep your eyes open, let me.”
He brushes stray pieces of hair out of your face when you’re too engrossed in something to do it yourself, when your hands are too full to reach, or when he wants to get a better look at you, just because he loves looking at your face.
“Um, what are you doing?” He nonchalantly hooks his finger into the waistband of your trousers, disappointed when he gets a not-too-subtle peek at neither your endearing threadbare usuals, nor the lacey Italian ones he’d bought for you.
Your best friend Dick Grayson flirts with you blatant and publicly;
“The red or the blue?” “Neither.” “I have to wear something!” “I’d love to see you wearing nothing.”
“Wear the blue, always the blue.” Jason would never let it go otherwise.
“What do you want?” “You.” “I meant to eat.” “Same answer.”
“I could never be you.” “What? Why?” “Must be tiring, being that cute.”
He texts you when you’re not together. “Good morning pretty girl” “saw this and thought of you.” “What are you wearing?”
One day you text back a picture, a mirror selfie from behind, your skirt hiked up, showing off the tiny navy-blue thong and he doesn’t text back. You worry that you’ve taken it too far, overstepped a line.
Until your best friend Dick Grayson is waiting for you when you arrive home, sporting a nasty black eye and a smile the size of titan tower. In actuality, that image was exactly what he’d been hoping for every time he messaged. That image had been ingrained in his mind since you sent it, and it was one thousand times better than he’d imagined. That image was his hook, time to reel you in.
“Sorry I didn’t text back, I was speechless. No really, I got this” he points to the purple bruise forming around his eye “because I was distracted, thinking about you.”
“It’s cool, you didn’t have to say anything.” You lie. “Not like you haven’t seen it all before.”
“Can I see it again?”
In the middle of your cramped kitchen, your best friend Dick Grayson lifts your skirt above your waist and drops to his knees, brazenly eying your folds. On request, you take the skirt from his hands, holding it up, exposing yourself as you do a little twirl for him, letting him see the full picture.
When he lands a playful smack on your ass-cheek he grins, thrilled by the playfully petulant look you fire at him over your shoulder. When he runs a finger over your clothed slit, he’s even more delighted by the way your body shivers, by the hint of wetness he can feel seeping through the thin piece of fabric.
You don’t stop him when he hooks a finger in the crotch, pulling the obstructing lace to the side, or when he runs his fingers through your now exposed lips. Deft fingers tease you, ghosting over your clit with no real fiction, making your pussy clench around nothing.
“Want something?” The sight of him at your feet, watching you through defiant eyes has you weak.
“Yes, touch me.” The sight of you, spread and writhing has him near feral, but he wants something more.
“I’m already touching you, Princess.” He laughs, his warm breath against your slick tingles. If his breath is enough to make you quiver, he can’t wait to find out what his tongue will do to you. “Ask for something else. Nicely.”
You’re not sure exactly what he wants you to say, so you stammer the first words that come to mind; “Please Dick, stop teasing. Just do whatever you want to do, I want it too.”
It’s enough.
Your best friend Dick Grayson lifts you by your knees, setting you on the counter and securing your thighs over his shoulders as he descends on your folds. He’s messy and desperate, unable to get enough of your sweetness, darting his tongue in every direction until he finds the select few motions that have your fingers curling in his hair, have you panting his name between loose lips.
When you start to roll your hips, using his mouth for your own pleasure he can’t help but moan, the reverb sending further vibrations through your body that has your toes curling. He’s rock hard, itching to palm his cock, to grind it against the closest surface, but that’s an afterthought. He won’t get off until he’s lapped up your climax at least once.
“Are you gonna cum for me?” His words are slurred, muffled between your legs, unwilling to pull away long enough to get his words out cohesively. “I want you to cum all over my face, okay baby girl?”
If he wasn’t already salivating against you, Dick’s mouth would water at the sight of you. Your body begins to jerk, your back arching, head thrown back as your orgasm hits you, his firm hands tighten around your legs, locking your lower body in place until all your tension is gone, and his face is soaked with your fluids.
As you come down from your high, he savours the flavour, occasionally licking up stray droplets from your skin. He admires the way you look, head lolled to the side, eyes static under heavy lids, jaw slack, until it’s too much, until he needs to see you high on his doing once more. Without warning he lifts you. The collar of his shirt is damp, his cheeks are flushed, his hair a mess.
“Let’s get you somewhere more comfortable for round two.” Your best friend Dick Grayson says as he cradles your body in his arms.
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Hello! I read your post about Sugishita with a talkative reader. So, could you write for Hayato Suo with a reader who's talkative? Like, she's so passionate about talking that she explains every little detail perfectly. (I'm the chatterbox of my class and I've gotten scolded many times but I'm shameless.)
With that, the reader is also stubborn af so she needs a reasonable argument otherwise she ain't gonna be convinced.
The reader loves fairness. She can't stand if anything unreasonable is happening in front of her.
Oh well actually, if you want the reader can be gender neutral. I just asked like three requests at once. 💀 If you want you don't have to do it all! <3
As an introvert, I'm in awe of every person who is talkative, or as you called them a "chatterbox" - I know I could never.
Hayato is just so fucking majestic.
Hayato Suou x Talkative! reader
You were a very passionate person, who couldn't stay in silence for longer than a few minutes. The words had just always easily flown out of your mouth and it sometimes could get you in trouble. However, your words also helped to get you and others out with their problems.
Growing up it was tricky to find the perfect balance of your talkativeness and the patience of your classmates, teachers, or even neighbours.
It was a little hard to find a person that could keep up with you, or at least didn't mind your ramblings. Hayato was perfect for that. Not only did he humour you during your rant sessions, but he also effortlessly kept up with your heated discussions.
You could spend hours upon hours talking about something and when he caught the wind of those times he would prepare some tea and snacks. That would make your discussions more comfortable and you would feel like your passion for talking was encouraged.
Hayato didn't mind your ramblings finding them amusing and informative. He couldn't also fathom how you could talk so much that during your logorrhea (stream of words), you'd change topics so much. Once, you started talking about the dinner with your friends you had the day before, going through the dilemma of whether pineapple should be on pizza, and finishing with sudden fun facts about different types of paint, with many more in between. It was still a mystery how you ended up completely detached from the first thoughts you shared.
When Hayato had his agility and martial arts skills to back up his testing words, you depended only on your phrases. You were an expert, and could easily out-talk anyone that started an argument with you. Your boyfriend thought it was pretty amazing how you could stand up to anyone with only words.
You used your talent for talking also to stand up for others, not being fond of some people putting down others thinking they were above them.
"Excuse me, but it's not what I wanted."
You heard a voice from your side from a woman, that previously stood in front of you in the queue. You were in the cafe with Hayato in the middle of ordering some desserts for yourself when she cut in and pushed you to the side.
"I'm sorry, but that's what you ordered, Miss." The cashier said trying to be calm about the situation.
"No, I wanted it with more milk and not this poor excuse of milk but the oat milk." She articulate it even more smashing the cup on the counter and spilling it.
"I'm sorry Miss but you didn't inform us about it when taking the order, we confirmed it with you and you didn't say anything about the different type of milk you'd like to use. If you want we can-" The cashier said starting to get nervous as she fiddled with her fingers.
Your eyes widened when the fussing woman cut off not even listening to the barista. You were boiling all over and Hayato seeing that placed his hand around your waist and moved it in circles trying to calm you down before you could join the argument.
"Of course, I did, you're just not listening to me. If you can't do your job correctly, then I don't know why you're still working here." The woman continued pushing the cup over the counter and into the cashier.
"Miss, please listen-"
"I'm not listening to someone so incompetent like-" She cut off the employee again and you had enough.
You pushed away from Hayato and heard him sighing in amusement as he knew what was about to happen.
"Okay, that's enough." Your voice cut in firmly and the woman looked at you scowling.
"Miss, you're clearly out of it, if you think you can be mean like that to someone who's working harder than you."
"What? You're such disrespectful little-"
You didn't let her finish just like she did with the cashier and continued on your own.
"It's a fact that I can tell even without knowing more about you than what you've just shown everyone here. I was after you in the queue, I heard what you ordered, and now that told the barista she got your order wrong, and even doing such a thing." You motioned to the employee who tried to wipe the counter and her uniform from the spilled drink.
"You're the more disrespectful one. And I beseech you to shut your mouth and think twice before trying to make someone's life miserable just because your is." You finished with fire in your eyes making the woman frown and gasp at your rant.
"OMG! I can't stand someone like that." She said waving her arms around before turning away and leaving the place.
You sighed and felt Hayato moving towards you and moving his arms around you trying to calm you down. You showed your claws and he had a wide grin on his face, proud of you for standing up for someone else.
Tags: @misticbullet
#wind breaker (satoru nii)#wind breaker (satoru nii) x reader#wind breaker#wind breaker x reader#hayato suou x reader
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I will be participating in the absolutely amazing @ficsforgaza initiative!
PROJECT GUIDELINES.
kindly review these links for detailed answers to any questions you have about the initiative (or send me an ask) overview | how-to | FAQ
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LET'S WRITE
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Sparks x Fly | bkg x winged!reader
recent graduate and new rookie agency owner, Dynamight, is anxious to get into the field and bloody new gear, but a moving-day collision with some shitty winged civilian turns into his own feathery nightmare when she shows up at an established agency– as their new chart-topping rookie no less. fist fights, shoujo manga, bathroom surgery, hawks as your terrible boss, hyperhidrosis, wings are kind of a hassle, fire escapes, hearing aids, drunken rescues, feather care, a hero ball, and secrets kept under oath of death. (rivals > lovers)
cw: varies by chapter, in general: violence/injuries, inevitable smut, kats has mellowed out some but isn't a peach, reader has dapple brown wings but is otherwise not described in detail. i love personality hire x grouch w too much in common
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a simple show of treason | sanemi x reader
sanemi's tsuguko no more, your hashira promotion is just over the horizon! one more untimely death and you'll have the job security you've longed for. nightmares, injuries and lost time, a lost life safe at home, unrequited love– soon it'll all be worth it. your mentor doesn't share your optimism however, and you find him near at all hours of the day. no more or less moody than usual but overbearing and always on the precipice of saying something.
cw: nsfw, mdni. part three of my sanemi/tsuguko series, ie the smut™. long-waited confessions, starving love. reader w vagina, teasing, banter, penetration, oral (reader receiving), clingy nems.
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we're so bad at our jobs | mechanic!choso x writer!reader
writing is a famously lucrative career field, it's why you're only $30 short for the oil change that cost $35. the quiet mechanic shrugs at your short change and tells you not to worry– not that you hear him. not when he shakes his hair out of its messy bun and wipes at the grease on his cheek with the back of a big fist. you find yourself at the car shop a lot suddenly, never stopping once to think why a mechanic would be so blood-spattered.
cw: nsfw, mdni. down bad reader, deer in headlights choso. car sex, reader w vagina, penetration, fingering, oral (giving/receiving), moisture on all conceivable surfaces. i just think choso is weak for strong-willed women.
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Hymn to Black Water: Annexes | prince!bkg x royal gaurd!reader
what happens after Takoba? What do Aldera and the world have in store for our royal captain and her prince? dragon nests, oaths, a promotion of sorts, and the need to always be near.
cw: varies by chapter, in general: violence/injuries, periodic smut, two idiots in love & situations. a continuation of Hymn to Black Water (+80k) which is coming to a close soon (hardly acquainted > begrudging teammates > enemies > bewildered friends > lovers > soulmates)
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i simultaneously am really great at putting up boundaries and really shit. my body and mind are literally screaming at me to just hole up and isolate for a few days to GET SOME FUCKING RESPITE but my morals are like 'what do your exams mean in comparison to xyz' and i always come up with 'nothing'
#i love my friends i would never do this otherwise#but my introverted ass can't anymore#and i swear the fact that i am almost burned out rn is related to the fact that my best friend has slept over 8/10 nights#with stopping by all other days#which is fine and i would never tell her no bc the alternative to her being at my place sucks so much more than anything it's doing to me#but at the same time GOD i want peace and quiet and just some time alone to myself with my thoughts#same thing with a friend of mine who is scared because she has to get surgery#to have a day where i don't have to go anywhere would be fucking amazing#but she is scared and has every right to be and i KNOW that i'm the person in her life that she is counting on to remember her when she die#like that is essentially the premise of our entire relationship so of course i will drive to the hospital to visit her#saying no would be a cruelty i could never put her through#and i guess i want to scream into the void about it bc it'd destroy the people around me to know that i'm ignoring my boundaries for them#but i also can't just take a day of to relax bc i have a (luckily not graded) exam on Monday an important deadline on the 12th#and a terrifying exam on the 16th
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everyone debates about elmike like oh they're the best of friends no they would never hang out on their own they don't even know each other, when the true answer, much like everything else about them, is that there is so so much and also nothing at all
#they're like siblings. not like. freakishly sweet siblings but like. normal siblings you know?#like a sibling is the most distant person you're ever close to. the most intimate stranger#we aren't in each other's lives by choice and if we could choose we probably still wouldn't choose each other#but also I absolutely can't live without you#I would confide my deepest fears and wants and secrets to you and you find that same confidante in me#but we never talk to each other about our interests and we don't care to hear about them either#everything about elmike is just so. everything and nothing#I love you enough I'd die for you and I don't know a thing about you#you're such an inescapable part of me but we're not even friends#like a blank wall in an otherwise filled bedroom#even though you make up a part of the structure of one of the most intimate spaces in my life there's still nothing of me there#like. do you get it. actually does this make any sense. I think I'm just saying shit#alright wrap it up guys everyone go home this post is actually just nonsense maybe#this is actually about how I view elmike in general though like they're everything and nothing they're so interesting and also so boring#like it's about the insaness of the fact they love each other that much they truly do albeit not romantically#but they don't KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT EACH OTHER. THEY'D DIE FOR EACH OTHER THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHERR#THAT'S THE TRAGEDY. THAT'S THE FUCK OF IT ALL#but also at the same time it's so boring because actually it's just every other bad middle school relationship#where you both haven't realized you're gay yet#so. elmike. everything and nothing#stranger things#el hopper#mike wheeler#elmike
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Since the ending of the season has been confirmed… and nobody new joined this season, it’s possible someone new is joining s10! So…
a serious alternative to the other poll. I think some of these have a pretty low chance of happening, but I chose options that are at least possible (i.e. the hermits know them). don’t take this too seriously, i’m just curious on what the fandom thinks is the most likely option
#how the hell do you guys write out scotts name. scott. smajor. scott major?#particularly looking at empires/traffic series people because they would know the hermits decently well#locus fandom time#hermitcraft#hermitblr#my personal thoughts on these: scott - didn’t even think of it before but it could happen. he knows the hermits well and is a builder#skizz - most likely option imo. collabs so often with hermits and is impulse’s best friend. only thing is that he isn’t a builder/redstoner#but i think being friends with the hermits is far more important in the application process than that#martyn - i would love if this happened but it never would because i don’t think hermitcraft is his playstyle at all#rip martyn/keralis and martyn/doc those duos would be so funny#joel - another really likely option. he is a builder and said he admires hc a lot. knows them well. i can see it#jimmy - i don’t think its his playstyle but it would be fun to see#lizzie - pretty talented builder. butttt i don’t think she’s going to join? it doesnt really seem like her thing#fWhip - can’t really see him joining either but it’d be cool#mythical sausage - he would be amazing on there but he’d chuck up the rating from general to 13 in no time#options I didn’t include: bigb (his main focus is like skibidi toilet videos not minecraft). oli (he produces 2 videos a year he isnt cut#out for the grind). pix (i think it would be awkward being a hc member and doing recap). katherine elizabeth (possibility but doesnt#interact with the hermits too much at crossover. others here know them way better)#there’s also the chance of someone who isn’t hc adjecent but knows them otherwise (like psmp or newlife whatnot) joining but it is less
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posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh
#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself#but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep#and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either#i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in#fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst#i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago#but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it#this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed#i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me#i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time#this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake#gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t#like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life#when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so#i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have#but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip#and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude#though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i#it’s been gnawing at me#ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in#one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes#watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep#so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom#idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting#they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao#so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most#i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry#also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn#it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes
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maybe trying out some eye makeup will be good for me
#only time i've had makeup done was from friends who wanted to “glam up the tomboy” classic stuff lol#otherwise i've honestly just never had any interest...... but maybe....#god i just look so tired all the time and that Is bc i've been sleeping late and not doing so hot overall#but because it's something i haven't done there is the Avoidance even tho i would like to give it a go. i love brain works#btext#i need to export my blog into my journal for real
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#gonna be depressing in the tags for a moment#pls excuse me#but whenevery i see a pair of friends that are like soulmates together#who laugh and scream about what they love and have so many things in common#i always become the personification of ''i want what they have''#ever since i was a child i would pray (you heard that right lol) to get a best friend who shared my interests and passions#(and who was gay but that's included in interests and passions lol tho i didn't know it at the time)#i dream with the sitcom worthy friendships with the you get the key to my house and you can come in whenever#we just spend days sitting together and not even talking just being there#or the next best thing. find it online!#but that will never happen and i need to accept that#not even for lack of trying... i even went to a hobby class for a whole month trying to make friends irl#but it's impossible for the simplest reason... i don't enjoy it!#every time i try to do something new and out of my comfort zone i fail misserably because it's literal hell to me#how can i make a friend if i cannot talk to people?#online or whatever?!#i can't even talk to the people i know from school or whatever#i put in so much fucking effort and freak myself out!#and it's not working and it won't work and idk what to do about it!#so yeah i don't think i'm capable of having meaningful relationships actually#and i need to really accept that cause otherwise i will forever dream with it#like i need to stop trying to chase after it it's just not gonna happen#i guess people have these feelings about romantic partners? well not me lol#anyways...#angel talks#personal
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🤦🏽♀️🙃
#I can’t stop thinking about it#I keep replaying the morning over and over in my head#my friend said she thinks I should write a letter or text tell them#and I’m thinking about it#the more I’m processing it and it’s kinda sinking in#the more angry and offended and hurt I am#idk I know super vague post#and since you guys keep saying you like my crazy dumb Rosie rant posts maybe I’ll do one telling you guys what happened#I’m just still so fucking mad?#and she has NO idea how badly she fucked me up#she’s texting me like nothing happened and I’m like ???? ok sorry but I can’t just move on from this#anyway fun fact and update about me and my life#I’m looking into a php ��#partial hospitalization program#if you didn’t know what I was talking about#so that’s suuuuper duper fun (hope you can feel my sarcasm)#but at this point in my life I feel like I need it#not gonna get into that right now cause ooofda one thing at a time#but this whole situation reallyyyyy set me back in my progress and healing so thanks buddy 👌👌👌#you are lucky I love your dog so fucking much otherwise I probably would never talk to you again#shut up rosie
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I swear to god, if Taylor Swift ends up being the reason I take up running and stick to it, it’s going to be the most embarrassing but also on-brand thing that’s ever happened to me
#someone on tiktok put together a couch to eras tour running challenge which has phases like couch to 5k; 5k to 10k; 10k to 10 miles#then 10 miles to essentially ‘you can now run for so long you could basically do the eras tour if taylor was MIA’#so i read the instructions and i was like well. i have a treadmill so i basically have no excuse not to do this#week 1 is 1989 so i walked to ‘blank space’ at about 3mph to warm up and then did intermittent walking; jogging & running to style; ootw;#wildest dreams and you are in love. you walk verses; run choruses & sprint bridges#i have a persistent knee injury so i decided to interpret run as jog & did it at about 5mph and sprint as run & went up to about 7mph#at the highest because i didn’t want to throw my knee out#like it’s functional but i still have pains and i don’t really want to explain to my physio that i broke myself by trying to do a tiktok#challenge. like i can’t imagine that going over well#anyway. it was fun! it took 20 minutes in total#i do think i will have to adjust my schedule at some point because right now my day 6 ‘long run’ coincides with thursdays which is when#i have pilates which i would rather be a cross-training day for obvious reasons#my cross-training day would otherwise be a tuesday and what the hell am i going to do on a tuesday#honestly even a saturday would be acceptable for cross-training because sometimes i go swimming with my friend on saturdays#and yeah we usually take her kiddo and we just bounce around in a circle but i can always break off from them and do a few lengths#or just tread water and let the kid smack me with a pool noodle. idk#i just honestly felt like if i didn’t start this today i’d never end up doing it. so. i started it#i’m now going to tell everyone i know so that they’ll bully me by asking if i ran that day#ooooooh you know what’d probably work as motivation?!?! i could ban myself from listening to taylor when i’m not running#it will also keep me from getting sick of her. which… i don’t think will happen anyway because it would’ve happened already let’s be real#i have been a fan of hers since i was 12 years old. i lived through the drought. like…#if i get sick of anything it’ll be the first few songs on the setlist playlist but! we’ll worry about that when we get there#personal
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🐰🧡🐻
#in stark contrast to most of my personal posts this is about me being happy and gay#because i need to just get it out my system bc otherwise i am just going to grab a friend by the shoulders and scream (in joy) in their face#i am dating someone and its really really nice and sweet and cute and like nothing ive ever experienced before#and instead its like every tiny little dream about this kind of thing ive managed to hold onto despite every experience otherwise and ahhhh#the lack of focus on just sex or sex appeal is so nice its like there but as a side thing so its nice and i dont feel like an object#i feel like a human person with thoughts and feelings and interests outside if that and feel safe in that and feel safe that everything wont#just be discarded if i dont want to do that like i feel like boundaries and stuff are an option! without jeopardising everything#and el likes me as much as i like them and wants and sees and communicates that they want something long term and ahhhhhhhh#i just want to cry like holy shit this is everything ive ever wondered about like i have spent so long wondering what this feeling would#actually feel like and its so good and so indescribable and ahhhhhhh#waking up on monday night and seeing them in my bed and cuddling me was just so nice i felt wanted i felt... loved#this all seems so out of left field still i still feel like i just never saw it coming but its so welxome and nice and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#my pessimism is still there but its less loud now its more learning to accept this may not be perfect forever but letting me enjoy the now#crouch speaks#it feels so nice to not be scared and to feel secure and ahhh#also it made me laugh El remembered me hitting on then at the Dgoals release show making them blush lol#i only remember the time i hit on them later at the groles show so its funny i pretty much used the same line twice and it still worked#i cant wait to see them again i cant wait to hold hands in public again i cant wait to be idiots who keep blushing too hard and accidentally#kissing eachother on the nose instead of the mouth because we are stupid and gay and pathetic about it hahaha#just ahhhh i could gush forever how perfect the 2!!! dates weve been on were and the fact they want more and more and ahhhhh#this is so lame i know i just haven't experienced anything remotely like this before and its just... wild#like wow holy shit what on earth i have been so increasingly miserablely depressed and insecure from the shea stuff last year and then this#just absolutely removed all of that i actually feel like a human person again with value
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oh my god.. a job for me.. historical pierrot beach performer lol
#also I'm obsessed with shows like this#I always forget about like 'people live in a fully historical way as a sort of half documentary half educational reality-tv ish thing' as#a genre but then every once in a while I remember and watch something like this and am so enamored#There was also one called 'manor house' or something where it was like normal people who aren't actually historians or anything#trying to live like how they did a while ago in some big manor or whatever which was interesting#not the drama really (there wasnt much but a few of the people on there were kind of annoying whenever they did get their#few little interview bits among the otherwise mostly explanatory nature of the show just focusing on how things#worked in mainatining a giant manor house)#though there's a lot of focus on edwardian and victorian times in these sorts of things. which is cool!#but I wonder if they have them for different time periods too. and different locations. what about 1500s france#1250s china. etc. etc. I dont know because like I said I always forget I like this type of stuff so I never look it up#omg.... guess what... (whispering to you as if we're friends and I'm gosspiing).. you will NEVER believe this..#you know 'Edwardian Farm' right? well.. I just found........ 'VICTORIAN farm'!#it's literally the same people doing the same thing but a different time period. And you know what? I will still eagerly watch every moment#ghbhj.. They could do 'Victorian Farm 2' 'Victorian Farm 3: Yet Another Show About The Same Stuff' and I would watch them all#ANYWAY.. also I feel like that could be my niche. Like because I'm Very Mentally Ill And Have Very Much Problems and have difficulty managi#ng ''normal'' jobs. But I LOVE menial repetitive tasks epsecially ones I can do with my hands. Like I could peel carrots for hours. I love#sculpting. etc. If I were ever in a position to learn a historical trade I think that could be My Thing. on these shows they always have li#ke 'The One Single Guy In The Entirety Of England Who Still Weaves Baskets Like They Did In Shropshire In 1805' or whatever and they#call him on the show and he's like 'yeah this basket took me 16 hours to make and here's how I do it' and it's like.. god.. I could be that#guy.. Like old style jewelry making. shoe making. all of these little tedious tasks to do crafting sorts of things.#It's just that like... when am I ever going to be in a position to LEARN that? You'd have to know someone who already does it#and be like tutored by them or etc. Which my social issues are a barrier gghhj.. and lack of resources/money to buy supplies. etc#but.. THEORETICALLY.. the dream.. ANYWAY ghhjhj.. I've been very busy all week but will try to do new poll adventure and other#stuff soon. I've had like two appointments and More Things Than Usual so just.. zero social media posting energy whatsoever#I do HAVE posts though.. pictures.. cat things.. costumes.. polls.. it's just.. brain says I have to lay on the floor all day instead#but at least I can ponder the absolute glee of a theoretical life where I am That One Guy in england who can make old ass gloves or etc.#If anyone in the UK has a dying grandpa with a near-extinct skill and YOU yourself don't feel like picking up the trade to pass it to young#er generations.. hmu and help me get citizenship and I will do it for you. even if he's evil and mean. I will MAKE those shoes
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i hate how uncool social media has become in the way that everyone is trying to be cool. why do people need to “boycott” perfectly good products that could be donated to people in need—by mass buying them and destroying them on video, or why do we film strangers in public, harassing them and then getting angry and painting them to be a horrible person online for millions of people to see when they just wanted to be left alone. in public. but this also includes the platforms themselves. kinda wish that they would just shut up and make their apps function. make them easier to use, add more settings for how we want to navigate our time on the apps. why does twitter come out with a new “feature” every week? why does instagram and facebook to copy every single other app in existence? why do these people think that fucking pinterest and tiktok are so popular? because they keep the same format, they keep their apps usable, and they don’t add unnecessary shit every 5 seconds.
#star speaks.#unnecessary rant#i just#I LOVE BEING ON MY PHONE ! and meeting people and talking to people i would otherwise never have a chance to#i love connecting with people over shared interests and blossoming friendships and and and#i can’t even use some of these fucking apps anymore because every time i open them im prompted to update it#and then i can’t even fucking use it because it either 1 had some stupid bug 2 used too much storage and is now slow as shit or#3 is now entirely too confusing and no longer worth the effort#and and ! i keep seeing videos of these ‘street interviewers’ harassing people.#i saw one asking a CHILD if he knew who a p^rn star was and then bought him whatever he wanted because he did know#she then proceeded to ask him a bunch of stuff like ‘oh how do you know her? do you watch her a lot?’#and another guy who was trying to talk to people in crowd in NY and kept tapping the shoulder of#a woman who was visibly wearing a hearing aid AND had her friends signing to her#they called her a racist because he was black and she was white and it????? she’s literally just standing there#she can’t see what her friends are saying because you’re HARASSING HER#to delete.
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actually, since the iteration of me that's with saturday is just. Me with no additives. i'm adding in whatever the hell happened today with the job i was applying for into her lore. that was the catalyst for her moving + getting her silly little bookstore job that eventually led to us meeting. dodged a bullet and a blessing in disguise all in one <3
#also love the thought of me telling him about it like—#me: that's weird right?? i asked a couple of my friends and they also thought it was really strange#saturday: [has never had a job before and had spent every day of his life prior to meeting me doing fuck all] that is strange.#something something is secretly a little glad it worked out that way though because otherwise he never would have gotten to meet me#doesn't think too hard about the alternative because. Yeah.#but definitely like. idk. pulls me a little closer to him.#teasingly asks something to the effect of ''but aren't you glad it turned out that way?''#dies a little (positive) when i say back ''yeah actually. i'm really glad <3''#♡ — text#🩵 ocean eyes#this got real corny sorry i can't help it when it comes to him </3
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