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mvltisstuff · 8 months

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Eddie Diaz x female reader

Eddie and reader are childhood sweethearts and have been engaged for 4 years with their wedding is in a few months, reader is also a firefighter with the 118 & also maddie’s best friend. Reader is also close friends with Ravi and Buck. Reader is walking home one night alone after collecting food for Chris and Eddie when she gets mugged and attacked and left for dead in an alleyway, she has multiple injuries such as a gunshot or stab wound, dislocated shoulder, dislocated knee, broken arm along with cuts and bruises to her face. Someone finds her and she ends up in the hospital in a coma, eddie has a breakdown in the hospital and Chris also visits reader crying. Reader wakes up and panics about the wedding as she needs physical therapy on her knee that was injured, worried that she won’t be able to walk down the isle to Eddie, she has a panic attack and everything goes wrong. Maddie tries to help her through it. You can decide on the rest. 🩶🩶

sorry this is so long😅🥲

hope you’re doing well and having a great summer ❤️‍🩹🤍 xx

let the light in - e.d

summary: request

eddie diaz x reader

gif from @housewifebuck

a/n: this request is from quite some time ago, but it’s been in the drafts for too long! i apologize and hope you enjoy <3 also this is not proofread btw 😭

each hit to her body ricocheted through her muscles, feeling the marks and scars form on her skin. it was a foreign feeling, one of fear and pain. y/n was helpless on the ground of the alley, and there was nothing she could do.

her heartbeat thumped in her ears, and she was horrified that she might not even look the same, let alone be the same. she faces things like this every single day, saving someone’s life but she could barely manage to save her own.

she only wanted to bring home food for chris and eddie, her beloved ones who instantly became her family. she was almost like a mother to christopher, and he was connected to her as she was always there for him.

the moment eddie proposed to y/n, he knew that there would be no hesitation. he had never felt this way about a woman before, let alone want to live with her until their hair turned grey. every single part of y/n left eddie enamored, just falling for her all over again. her persistence and attitude was nothing but precious to him, and he couldn’t help but love every part of her.

he waited for her to come home, knowing that she would be stopping at the grocery store. it was late, the sky dark and the streets only illuminated by the street lamps. he knows how tough she is, and she’d be ok. so, he patiently waited at home with his son, the worries in the far back of his head.

as y/n’s body was dragged about and penetrated with sharpness, all she could think about was her fiancé and stepson at home. the two people she loves most in this world. it was so hard not to give up and let these criminals take her life, but she knew neither of them could deal with her life being stripped away.

let alone the 118. bucks been her best friend since day one, being the first supporter of her and eddie’s relationship. he completely adores her and her humor, along with her strong work ethic. ravi has always looked up to her from the moment he stepped into the station on his first day. she assisted him and taught him with kindness, but didn’t go easy on him. she’s the reason that ravi is the firefighter he is, and he idolizes her for that, in and out of work. hen and chimney have been alongside her, running into each building and saving a civilian. she was almost too good to be true, and the people who attacked her had no idea.

the men heard the crumbling of rocks underneath tires, and scurried away into the midnight. y/n was left there to rot, laying on the hard ground and feeling herself bleed out. her entire body was in agony, but it was nothing compared to the thought of losing herself.

her weak fingers traveled to her pockets, taking out her phone with a shattered screen. surprisingly, the group wasn’t smart enough to steal it, and she thanked god for it. her blurry vision was tempting her, minutes away from fading into complete darkness. her mind was shrouded with negativity, but a flicker of hope came in when she heard maddies voice on the other side of the phone.

“maddie.” y/n groans, practically inaudible. maddie freezes at the letters of her name leave this woman’s mouth, being strictly confused but also horrified. “y/n.”

the slightly collection of blood in her mouth made the words jumble together, maddie using every ounce of brain power to put the pieces together.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t-“ the light goes off in maddies brain, finally being able to put the letters together, forming y/n’s name. “y/n?” she hears a painful groan of agreement from the muffled earpiece. “can you tell me exactly what happened?”

“they tried to kill me,” y/n informs her, slowing her breathing but it only makes her head spin faster. her eyes are closed, fighting the unconsciousness that’s begging to take over. “maddie, i’m not gonna be able to stay awake, but… i-i’m somewhere near the interchange.”

“y/n, honey, you have to try and stay awake for me, okay?” maddie begs, her eyes filling with moisture as she hears y/n’s small voice come through the phone in stutters. “y/n?” the phone lands over her torso, beginning to be stained with blood as y/n’s mind is shrouded in black, unable to process anything any longer.

eddie sat in the living room with christopher, watching a show for chris to practice his spanish. they were both invested in the plot, but also trying to expose christopher to the language.

eddie adored nights like this with his son. christopher is his sun, and his world revolves around him. he protects christopher with every ounce of his being, and there’s not a moment where he regrets any of it. the room was dimmed, the wick of the candle radiating a sweet smell as the words on the tv came through.

there was excitement in his mind as well, knowing y/n would be home soon to greet them. her alluring smile would be seen the moment she stepped in the door, and her bewitching voice became music to the boys. instead, when he heard others car doors slam, he was confronted with silence from his front door afterwards.

the next 15 minutes passed slowly but surely, and there were no signs of y/n coming home. he checked his phone only to find no messages or calls. his thoughts began to run through everything that could’ve happened, and he attempted to focus on the brighter ones. he finally heard the knock on the door, the pounding coming off assertive. somehow, he still wanted to find optimism and it could’ve been y/n.

when the door swung open, a burly man who was slightly taller than eddie stood in front of him. he had on a jacket with the LAPD, and eddie’s heart fell at the look on his face. it was blank on the outside, but eddie could tell he was here to deliver something horrid. he listened as the officer deeply uttered his first and last name, christopher lifting his head to the door at the unfamiliar voice.

in this line of work, eddie knew exactly why the man was here. “where is she?” eddie’s voice crackles, showing weakness when he’s so used to being strong.

the ride to the hospital was silent, deafening silence that only turned up the volume on eddie’s fears. the chugged through his head like a train on tracks, and he could barely see straight. he had absolutely no idea what to expect, only knowing that his girl was in the hospital. for all he could know, she could be wide awake or she could be in the morgue.

it felt like someone had grasped his heart, restricting him from breathing as he saw the almost empty waiting room. he desperately looked for anyone, finally landing his eyes on maddie.

“maddie!” he shouts, stomping over to her in anxiety. “what the hell happened?”

“i got a call,” maddie told him, her voice shaky and uncertain. “i could barely even tell who it was -her voice was so different- she told me that they tried to… they tried to kill her.” maddie mumbles the last part out, not wanting to imagine her closest friend’s life being taken.

the room started becoming blurry, all sights and sounds around eddie becoming irrelevant. it felt like he was the only person in the room, and someone from above was pointing and laughing at him. it was like a gunshot, being thrown back at the sudden force, or in this case, the sudden news that someone had attempted murder on y/n.

“i called buck, he’s on his way,” maddie says, fidgeting with her hands as she looks into eddie’s distant eyes. “eddie, sit down-“

“what room is she in?”

“i don’t know if you want to see her like this so fa-“

“maddie, i love you like a sister, but if you don’t tell me what room she’s in, i swear…”

“she’s in 319,” and that was the last thing eddie heard before taking wide steps through the hallways, his feet swiftly carrying him through the hospital as he eyes the door numbers. 316, 317, 318, and the one that held y/n inside. he prepared himself for the worst, but nothing could compare to actually seeing it.

each cut on her face was surrounded by a thick bruise disguising her angelic features. her soft, welcoming expression was replaced with discomfort and tightness. her eyes were tired and screwed shut, begging to remain closed and her lips were tightly coiled around the thick tube down her throat. the mechanical breaths pumped through her body, and eddie only hurt himself more with every step he took to her room.

she heard the thumping of footsteps down the hall, and prayed that it was eddie on his way to save her. she wanted him to just pick her up and they could run away, live their life and forget about all that happened that evening. she wanted to smile, but the look on his face was only disappointing.

his face looked as if someone had landed a punch to his gut, leaving his stomach dropping and shakiness building through his hands. he could barely figure out the words to say. his beautiful girl, the one he lays with at night and the one who kisses him with her soft lips. the one who he cries to and laughs with, and someone tried to steal it.

she had a long, white cast over her leg, being slightly elevated in the bed. he could see the bandages all over her body, and the thick wrap of gauze around her belly. he didn’t have any idea what to say, and it brought eddie back to the former years.

before he and y/n dated, shannon had passed away as eddie watched the life leave her eyes. he felt everything, the guilt, the grief, the anger. it took too long for things to return, but he never, ever wanted to experience that again. he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t manage to push through losing y/n.

y/n wanted to move so bad, she used all fibers of her muscles to try and bring herself up to meet eddie, but she was only met with his frozen figure staring down at her own. someone had put chains on her body, restricting her from moving or speaking, let alone open her eyes. she wanted to be caught while she was falling, but was just left dangling in the air without a hand to grab onto. just by the aura eddie reflects, she knew he was there.

he stepped closer, running his smooth fingers down her rough wounds, brushing her silky hair down. the hissing of her intubation flooded the silent room, realizing that it’s the only thing keeping her alive.

the door had remained open, the doctor entering the room and knocking on the open door. he stepped out and stood in front of the bed, carrying binders and charts in his arms. he looked through them, explaining each familiar term to eddie as he went down the list of y/n’s injuries. the doctor knew eddie well, him returning to the hospital to drop off a patient, or god forbid a patient himself. he let eddie sit alone next to her in the room, watching the very small movements of her chest.

the next person came rushing in, much faster than the doctor had. buck swung the door open, maddie trailing behind him in hesitation to see her friend like this.

“jesus,” buck whispers under his breath, stepping closer to eddie who’s elbows kneel on his knees. “you holding up?”

“i’m fine,” eddie tells his friend, fully aware he’s far from it. his eyes wander down to the ring in maddies hand, the one eddie remembers shining in the little box. it’s been years, but with their schedules, they could never find a date. they found their perfect venue and time, and y/n was so excited. now, it was questioned whether or not she would even make it to their wedding.

“i’ll call her family and take care of stuff for her and work,” buck assists, patting eddie’s shoulder before moving back out of the room with his cell phone. maddie takes this opportunity to step closer to eddie, and try to touch his heart to help ease the pain.

“you need to eat, or walk for a bit, eddie.” maddie tells him, lightly throwing her arms up and receiving zero glances from him. when she notices the distance in his eyes, she knows exactly what he needs. “eddie!”

he perks up, looking into maddies soothing eyes and seeing her begin to walk toward the door. “she’ll be ok for a minute, please just come with me.” she pleads, finally achieving to get eddie out of the uncomfortable hospital chair.

eddie follows maddie through the halls like he’s just a kid, letting his mother lead him through. it was a strange feeling, one that was out of his control. the control that he’s so used to having. maddie sauntered casually through the thick white walls and metal stretchers in the halls. she looked up and down the stretch of area, seeing no nurses or doctors. she swung open the storage closet, yanking eddie in and standing in front of the door. she leaned against it, looking into eddie’s exhausted eyes. they were so close to breaking, and maybe that’s exactly what he needed.

“it’s ok to let yourself take a break.” maddie says to eddie, watching him place his hands on his hips and allow his tired eyes to well up. “do whatever you have to. scream, cry, lay on the ground, throw those lap pads. it’s clear as day that you’re about to fall apart and you can’t carry this weight and be there for her at the same time.”

he spun around, spitting out a dry chuckle and losing the eye contact. he couldn’t face it, he couldn’t handle someone watching him look so weak. however, when maddie turned around, he knew that she was safe, and that he was too.

first, his breathing starts to pick up along with the sharp burning in his nostrils. it was as if the gears of an attack started turning, and eddie knew now that there was nothing to stop them.

his hands began to shake, messily frizzing his gelled hair as his fingers ran through it. his already tightened chest had began to feel like it was being crushed, and someone was wrapping their strong fingers around his heart.

the tears started coming in constant streams down his cheeks, leaving shiny residue on the soft skin. he tasted the salty cries on his lips whenever he took a deep inhale. with a strange sensation, there’s a feeling of lightness throughout his body. he knows too well that y/n remains helpless in the other room, but he also knows that he can’t control it.

in such a simply way, eddie cries. he cries for his son, who he knows is going to be completely shredded by the news of y/n’s condition. he cries for her parents, thinking about someone’s little girl in that bed. he cries for himself, watching his beloved fiancé lose herself. of course, he cries for y/n and how everything she loves has vanished due to the villains in this world.

when maddie turns back around, eddie is hunched over with his head in his hands. his fingers aggressively swipe at his eyes and cheeks, trying to rid any signs of upset in his face. maddie gives him the smallest, but the most reassuring smile that he’s gotten in a while. she opens the door, stepping out and they both walk back to y/n’s room.

eddie didn’t want christopher to see y/n so vulnerable like this. y/n had been a role model to chris since the day he met her, becoming an instant prized person in his life. christopher knew y/n was hurt, buck being the one to break the news as eddie physically couldn’t form the words. a few days had passed, and christopher still had not seen y/n, or barely even known what happened. someone did something bad, and that’s the only thing he could handle hearing.

christopher begged to see y/n to his dad, who tried to hide the situation from him as long as possible. he allowed eventually, becoming aware of the unfairness, and that christopher deserves to see favorite person, too.

buck walked into the doors with christopher, eddie meeting them at the front. eddie had become more accustomed to the sight of y/n on the bed, and her limp figure resting silently. he couldn’t help but let out a cheesy grin at his son, seeing him excitedly walk in to see y/n.

“dad!” he shouts, stepping closer to eddie who then embraces him.

“hey, chris!” he replies, thrilled to see his boy after the past few days from hell.

“is y/n better yet?” he asks, and the naivety almost breaks eddie.

“uh, not yet, buddy,” eddie mumbles. “she’s still sleeping.”

“can i please see her?”

“you can, of course, but christopher,” eddie kneels down to match his height, placing his hands on christopher’s sides. “i want you to know that she doesn’t look normal right now. it’s okay to be scared.”

“are you scared?”

eddie looks at the ground, not wanting his son to see him in his moment of weakness. he looks at buck, who wears the matching expression of glumness on his face. “yeah, i am. but, it’s going to be ok.” he takes christopher to the room, greeting everyone else who came to visit her.

hen leans against the wall of the room, toward the end of her bed. chim sits against the window, a grimace formed on his lips. ravi had come to visit, only being able to watch y/n on the small mattress. bobby watched, painfully, from the corner as well. athena had stopped by, but she was still on duty and had to leave.

christopher walked in, stepping up toward the bed and seeing a smile form on everyone’s face. they adore him, but he doesn’t understand how they can smile right now. “can she hear me?”

“i think she can,” hen replies, giving another grieving, but comforting expression

“y/n,” he begins. “i know you’re really hurt, but we all need you to come back. it’s not your fault, but you have to come back to us, and dad. everyone is here for you, and we all love you. you’ve always taken care of me, and i need you. you can’t let the bad guys win.”

eddie leans against the doorframe, his hand over his mouth and tears sprinting back down his face. he attempts to choke back the audible sobs, but the silent weeping in the corner almost felt worse.

the days passed, slow and agonizing days of seeing her only linear condition. it felt like nothing was going anywhere, until the doctors came in to check her on the week mark.

“her brain function is looking pretty good, it’s honestly best that the coma saved some of it. her heart rate looks extraordinary, and her white blood cell count is good, mr. diaz.”

the good news comes light as a feather to eddie, barely touching the optimism in his head. he knows he should be happy, but until he sees that beautiful face that he calls his awake and alert, nothing will be the same. he knew he should be grateful that she’s even breathing, but what he would give to be able to bring her back to the surface and hold his hand.

as much as it stung his heart, life continued without y/n’s consciousness. he had a child who had needs, a family who had needs, the person inside of him that also had needs. he was too smart to know that he was destroying himself every minute that he spent next to her brittle body. maddie swore to spend every second with her that eddie couldn’t be.

she sat besides her, spoke to her, told her stories and read her books. maddie always let y/n cry on her shoulder, now it was maddie weeping on her bedside. hours ticked by on the shiny hospital clocks, and the sun crept down and dimmed the sky along with the room. maddies eyes were pushed with weight, her own sleepiness covering her thoughts. she allowed herself to slump back on the chair, pulling her legs up and her breathing began to shallow, lulling herself to sleep.

the next time she awoke was around six in the morning, the morning sky slowly being illuminated by the orange sunrise. the light outside was glorious, the painting on the horizon better than any artist could create. the swift streaks of clouds only simply covered the sliver of sun peeking out.

when maddie stretched out her arms, she smiled at the warm colors outside the big glass window, she searched around the room, noticing the soft sound of fabric shuffling on the bed.

it was almost like a ghost had appeared and laid in the bed, moving itself around over the sheets. maddie directed her eyes closer, seeing y/n’s fragile fingers twitch and run over the smooth bed.

“y/n?” maddie asks, her voice still weak from her slumber. she begins to sit up, faster than before, to examine y/n’s face. there’s a brighter color to her features, her cheeks became more pigmented and she looked more full. she didn’t just look like another body in the hospital, waiting for her heart to give up on itself.

the more words that left maddie’s mouth, the more flickering she saw on y/n’s face. her heart was pounding against her chest, feeling the anxiety rise through her spine. “hey, y/n.” she whispers, giving a reassuring squeeze to her hand. after a few moments that felt like centuries, y/n’s eyelashes fluttered a bit, and her red, tired irises were finally revealed again.

eddie was laying on the couch, unable to sleep in the bed that once held the couple together. it felt eerily cold without her, his hand subconsciously floating over to run a hand over her back, only to be confronted with the chilly satin. he never wanted to leave y/n, but he also know that she would never want him to fall apart in the hospital watching her. he so badly wanted his eyes to finally shut, being able to give him even an hour of rest. someone had their fingers holding open his eyes, painting horrible images in his mind.

he turned on his back, his arm behind his head and staring into the bumpy, popcorn ceilings of his home. the home he shares with his son and his fiancée, the two people he cherishes the most. now, it was filled with darkness and loss and he prayed that he could get it back.

something grabbed ahold of his mind, halting his thoughts with the blaring noise of his ringtone. when he saw the ID of maddie illuminate his phone, he thought of the worst. either y/n was dead, and he never gets to see her again, or nothing has changed, and there is only more of an agonizing wait.

“eddie, you should get here,” was all he needed to hear over the phone before he roused christopher, dropping him off to get more rest at his tías, and eddie continued to speed over to the hospital.

the tube was gone. it was replaced with a skinnier cord, only pushing air into her through her lungs. her face, still bruised and scraped, but so alive. her eyes shined through the room, meeting eddie’s with a slight upturn of her lip. she was laying on her side with her hand under her cheek. the dark bags under her eyes were clear, but practically matching with eddie’s.

the moment he walked into that room and saw her, his rapid heartbeat began to slow, leaving a dropping sensation in his chest. he scurried over, not being able to stop himself from placing a long kiss on her lips, the ones that had just almost been taken from him.

“i am so, so sorry, mi vida, i wish i were here when you woke up,” he cries, tears welling up in his eyes.

“but you’re here now,” she rasps out, trying to lose the discomfort in her voice. “you’ve been here the whole time for me.”

“don’t ever leave me like that again,” he sighs, pressing his forehead against her own, letting her wired hand be placed on his cheek.

“i wasn’t scared of them,” y/n tells him. “i was scared that they’d take you away from me. i don’t ever want to leave you in the dust like i did last night.”

“last week, honey,” eddie grins with a bit of pity on his voice.

“oh, yeah,” she chuckles a bit, but afterwards grimacing at the pain in her abdomen.

“you should go to sleep, get some real rest this time.”

“i just slept for like, 160 hours, eddie.”

“i know, baby, but you still need to let yourself heal.” she smiles up at him, silently thanking him for his gentleness and tranquility. she nods, as he steps out to see the doctor. maddie returns back in, clutching her purse by her side and smiling her gorgeous maddie beam.

“hi again,” y/n smiles, seeing her best friend walk into the room once more.

maddie carefully walks in, placing her bag down and hugging y/n’s laying figure. “how are you feeling?”

“physically, a bit better,” y/n says.

“but what about the y/n i love. how is she doing in there?”

y/n pauses, all the thoughts rushing back through her head. every sentence screams through her ears, wanting to push itself to the front of her mind. every worry, every fear comes clean to the surface.

“maddie, i don’t know what to do,” her eyes begin to water, and her voice starts to tremble along with her hands. “we’ve been trying to plan this wedding for so long, and those men just took it all away from me. how am i supposed to just move on from that? i’m never going to be able to be the same after that. and eddie,” she sighs, pushing a long exhale out through her mouth. “i feel like i completely destroyed him with this. and now, i have to go to PT and i can’t even walk down the isle by myself! one of these days he’s gonna realize that i’m not worth anything anymore. i’m horrified that every day he has to take care of me, is just one part of him that doesn’t want me anymore.”

her breathing picks up, maddie trying to ease her but ultimately not being able to with just a simple touch. she looks at eddie, still focused on the doctor.

“listen, y/n/n,” maddie begins. “that gang took so much from you, but you have so many people on your side. they lost, you won. and with eddie, he would bleed himself dry if it meant you came home with him. every single breath you take is worth a million dollars to him. you are the most, fighter bitch i’ve ever met, and if anyone’s going to bounce back from this, it’s you. the moment you two kiss on that one night, all this worrying will be for nothing. he is your soldier, and he’ll never leave you. he would fight the gods if it meant he could keep you next to him every night.”

the tears fall onto her pillowcase, leaving several dark patches besides her face. eddie turns back around, letting himself back into to room only to see the upset written all over y/n’s face.

“hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, the sweetness in the delivery of his words. maddie looks up at him, her eyebrows tilting up together in a sadness for her friend. sharp inhales and gasps come through y/n’s body, using her shaking hand to wipe the wet tears from her cheeks. “you’re ok, baby, i got you.” he tells her, sitting besides her on the bed and caressing her side. maddie kisses her cheek, stepping out of the room to leave the engaged pair alone.

“i never want to be away from you again,” she sobs. “promise me you’ll never leave me, and i promise i’ll always love you.”

“i’ll make this promise to you until the day we grow grey hair, or the day you don’t remember me anymore. i’ll promise you this every single day. i mean it when i say i love you more than anything.”

532 notes · View notes

bummie4dummies · 19 days

Text

in spite of the way that it is ✧ read on ao3

⫘⫘⫘

when buck first brings it up, it's to everyone in the 118, or at least anyone who's willing to lend an ear. he saunters into the kitchen with a smile bright enough to account for the unseasonably grey weather outside, megawatt-beam elation radiating off of his body and bouncing into every corner of the station. the minute he starts blabbing about how tommy came to his place late last night, at least two ears are swiftly discounted — chim walks away with his hands firmly clapped over the sides of his head, saying, "la la la, don't want to hear it," much like a petulant kindergartener.

bobby finds himself suddenly very busy with noisily reorganizing the utensil drawer, but doesn't quite leave the area; hen immediately raises her brows and takes a pointed sip of her orange juice, knowing buck will continue unprompted. ravi, just coming up the stairs himself, has no idea what he's walking into, the poor guy.

and eddie — eddie knows better than to involve himself in this. he could easily extract himself now, fake a phone call with christopher's school, pretend like there's something imperative that he left in the locker room. instead, he remains parked at the table, piping mug of black coffee insisting that he needs mo' joe as it sits untouched in front of him. his own uncertain reflection stares back at him from the coffee's dark surface.

"i think i finally found someone who can match me," buck's declaring, cheeky grin still lighting up his face like a marquee sign. eddie can practically see the colorful bulbs flashing above his head, a giant neon arrow and the brazen announcement: this lucky guy got his brains fucked out last night!!

"bless that man," hen snorts, shaking her head a bit. ravi's brows knit together in confusion, and when he asks for details on what buck's referring to in the first place, hen's head shaking deepens. "ignorance is bliss, ravi, you probably don't want to know."

"buck got laid last night," falls out of eddie's mouth without him meaning to let it, and fuck, he hopes it sounded more casual than it felt, bubbling up his esophagus like bitter-hot bile.

ravi's, "...and?" is reassuring. eddie feigns a laugh, relieved his cover isn't blown. he glimpses at buck, whose gigantic smile hasn't faltered for even a millisecond, and ignores the mass of earthworms writhing beneath the tin lid of his breastbone.

"and it was seriously awesome!" buck pumps his fist into the air, triumphant and ridiculous, sunbeam personified, and god. buck may be the one getting railed into his mattress by his new boyfriend, but eddie is the one who's truly fucked.

⫘⫘⫘

when buck has eddie over for drinks at his place the next night and asks him if he wants to hear more about it, he convinces himself it's a fine idea. how much can really go wrong, anyway? it's just the man who cradles eddie's whole cowardly lion heart in his unknowing palms, telling him about the way that eddie's good, kind, unbearably hot friend fucked him so tenderly he cried.

it's fine. everything is fine.

buck's never been one to spare details, especially not when eddie allows him all of the space and time in the world to lay out how he got laid. the nearly-gone beer in his hand (on his lips, on his tongue, on the collar of his shirt where an errant drop landed) is fuel for his fire, rattling the confines of his inhibitions just enough to knock a few loose, get him spilling details like the belgian white down his throat.

"he was really good, eddie." the glint in buck's eye is evidence enough, but eddie wants more; he's curious, to a detrimental degree, a tabby cat scaling a tree to catch a sparrow whose wings will carry it to safety, leaving him hungry and without the knowledge of how to climb back down to level ground.

"yeah?" he presses, like he needs to.

"yeah," buck continues. the next pull he takes from his bottle is long, slow, draining it empty. eddie's eyes track the movement, the pink curl of his mouth over the bottle's rim, the wet flick of his tongue across the cusp, the bob of his adam's apple as he swallows the dredges. "it was like he could just... tell what i needed."

eddie's stomach drops. he blames the beer. his mind offers, silently, i would know what you needed, too.

he blames the beer.

"he made sure to take it slow, to start. he's— he's not a small guy, you know."

flashes of tommy's sweat-slick skin offer themselves up readily in the eye of eddie's mind. all thanks to their sparring during muay thai, he knows how it feels to be pinned beneath that man, to feel the heft of his strong arms and legs and chest against his own, to feel so utterly surrounded. he can only imagine what it's like to have tommy inside, too. he says, rougher than he means to, "i know."

buck clears his throat, ducks his head. when he meets eddie's eyes again, his cheeks are flushed. "i... i don't have to tell you about this, man. maybe it's too much. i mean, he's your close friend."

"you're my close friend," eddie says thoughtlessly.

the expression that settles on buck's features is complicated, to say the least.

"buck, i told you it's okay. you can tell me whatever you're comfortable with me knowing." eddie's can of worms burst opened wriggles and squirms, a slimy tangle mucking up his chest cavity. he catches and clings onto buck's gaze and adds, unequivocal, "i'll tell you if i want you to stop."

if buck's face wasn't already rosy, it would be now. his mouth falls open before his response catches up to him, and the spit-glint of his bottom teeth against his tongue makes eddie grit his own together, lest he say something he shouldn't.

"are you sure?" buck asks, back turning to eddie while he reaches into the fridge behind him for a third round. when he turns around again he's got two cold bottles in his hands, tilting one towards eddie, an offering that eddie accepts as automatic as breathing.

the fizzzzz-clink of buck popping the beercaps punctuates eddie's answering, "yes."

"alright." another generous swig of buck's drink bolsters his nerve. "i didn't think he was gonna fit at first, eddie. i swear to you, it doesn't seem like it should work. it's not like i haven't had anything up my ass before, i mean, tommy's even been warming me up for the real thing. but."

warming him up, jesus. buck's nonchalance is staggering, even when frankly, this isn't even the first time eddie's been confronted with such imagery. he wishes he could forget buck telling him about the times taylor had used her strap with him. not because it wasn't an appealing thought — eddie might have complex emotions around taylor, but the idea of buck getting dicked down by anyone at all has always been one that twists his guts into feverish knots. hence the desire for selective amnesia.

he fails not to wonder exactly what the thick line of tommy's dick would look like snuggled between the cleft of buck's asscheeks and swirls his beer in its bottle before knocking back a good-sized gulp, saying, "i'm guessing you made it work eventually."

because how the fuck else is he supposed to react while he's busy painting a vivid mural of his two 'close friends' fucking on the ceiling of his overenthusiastic imagination? he might as well be michelangelo with the way he's filling in the blanks with such inspiration.

the sputtering laugh that comes from buck has no right being as charming as it is. "he did indeed get his dick inside of me, yeah, great job putting those pieces together."

"thanks, it was difficult."

"i bet," buck responds. his gaze separates from eddie's and drifts down the length of his torso, catching on the steady rise and fall of the breaths expanding his chest before continuing down his past his bellybutton. he focuses just below eddie's belt before skimming back up to peer into his eyes again. "he took his time getting me ready with his fingers, and even still i felt like he was gonna split me in half. he got maybe halfway inside and i was already seeing stars. thankfully he kinda paused and gave me a second to adjust."

"come on, man." eddie's heartbeat threshes his ribcage and echoes all the way up to his eardrums, frantic and heady, bass drum kicking a chaotic rhythm. he can't help but imagine tommy's big, surprisingly gentle hands working buck open before slicking himself up with lube to nudge inside. he wonders if it made buck gasp, if he cursed and clenched at the blunt shock and slow push and steady tilt of tommy's hips. he wonders if tommy's got claw marks on him somewhere from buck scrabbling for purchase while curling his toes and communicating without words that he needed a minute.

"too much?" the way buck's half-mast eyes glitter reminds eddie of a tiger slinking low through moonlight silver-soaked grasses. all at once he can sympathize with the position of a lone antelope lurking just beyond through the open plains, vulnerable and enticing.

he perks his ears forward, tilts his head down, looking into the eyes of the beast who's about to consume him, and says, "no."

the antelope places its fragile skull straight into the tiger's hanging maw.

⫘⫘⫘

when eddie makes it through the next couple of days without jerking off about it, he considers himself victorious. he's been doing a fine job of distracting himself, hanging out with his girlfriend, his kid. he's been reading before he falls asleep to keep his mind from wandering too far. he's been working out more, burning off the extra energy that's been vibrating through his entire nervous system since buck drenched his subconscious — and his conscious mind, who is he kidding — with the most luscious, arousing descriptions of sex he's ever heard.

he's doing fine, until he's leaving the station with buck after a long shift and tommy's there to pick him up. he's standing outside of his buck's jeep, conveniently parked next to eddie's truck, eyes crinkly with delight at the sight of them. his voice carries through the atmosphere and shudders straight down into eddie's molten core, a simple and swift, "evan! eddie."

"hi, tommy," eddie says at the same time that buck says, "hey, babe!"

evan.

babe.

eddie is going to dissolve into a cloud of nebulous vapor.

he autopilots his way through the rest of their short conversation, ears buzzing with static, cottonmouth setting in. he doesn't pay attention to the small talk, mind too busy reeling with potential. the moment he'd caught sight of buck's jeep, he was a goner.

where is tommy's car? did he stay the night at buck's, hang out at his place for the day just waiting to come play chauffeur and take him back home to pound him into the mattress while kissing him deep and lazy, like his lips are laden with ambrosia?

"catch you later, eddie," he hears tommy say over the ringing in his ears. buck knocks shoulders with him and nods agreeably, lashes fluttering and lips stretching into a pretty smile.

the best eddie can manage in response is a pathetic wave and a half-hearted, "bye, guys."

his drive home is thirty-six minutes too long. he relinquishes his willpower and allows the fog of his daydreams to creep in.

"tommy called me a good boy when he finally bottomed out," buck had told him around a drawn-out exhale, hops heavy on his breath, steaming the air between their faces. somewhere between the third and fourth beer the space between them had collapsed, eddie backed against the kitchen counter and buck looming over him, cool and collected and beautiful and dangerous, striped wildcat on the hunt.

"he told me how incredible it felt inside me, how i was all warm and tight. and god, eddie, you don't understand how crazy it felt. it was so much, but in the best way. it was warm and tight for me, too."

that's when eddie had spooked and bolted, yanking free from within the loose gape of buck's tiger fangs and nicking himself on jagged ivory edges. worms clustered and crawled up from his chest and into his throat as he stumbled away, wounded and wet. he'd choked out, "i can't," and buck had backed off without hesitation, no longer a fierce big cat but a helpless cub, saying, sorry and low, "i know, i know, i should've stopped sooner."

⫘⫘⫘

when eddie finally gets his hand around his dick, it's nearly enough to make him cry. the bittersweet reprieve of it, the way he's been craving his own attention while being even better at withholding it from himself — there's practically nothing he's more practiced at, but just because it comes fairly naturally to him at this point doesn't mean it is painless.

he sinks into a different brand of masochism found in the inviting expanse of his mattress, world narrowed down to the sensation of his slippery grip around his blood-rushed cock, to the white-hot fantasies splaying themselves out in the darkest meadows of his mind, absolutely resplendent. he tries to make his hand feel warm, tight, incredible, like buck's soft aching insides; he speculates whether or not tommy would talk to him like that, if they were to hook up. would he qualify as good, in tommy's eyes?

with barely a second thought, he brings his free hand down to play between his asscheeks, knuckle ghosting across the delicate skin of his hole. tommy's fingers are bigger than his, tommy's bigger all around. a moan wrenches itself free as he swipes up some lube from where it's dripping down his balls and presses a fingertip inside.

eddie's pace picks up along with his breathing, chest heaving like he's been running for hours, days, years. maybe he has been. maybe he still is.

"fuck," he grits out, rolling his hips up into his hand. his mind is playing through scenes of buck opening up for tommy, tommy so careful and confident, scenes of buck wrapping his limbs around him to draw him as close and deep as he can get, buck so open and wanting. buck, such a fucking good boy.

eddie's orgasm shreds through him gut to throat like the sharp starving blade of a hunter, come spattering across his stomach, stickying his fist.

there are real tears streaking down his cheeks, now, damp and unrelenting, a mix of relief and guilt and something else he can't figure out a name for.

he jams the heels of his hands against his eye sockets and thinks, i know, i know, i should've stopped sooner.

#buddie 911 #bucktommy #uhhh... eddie x tommy?#not really sure the best way to tag this one #but it's definitely buddie at its core #so. anyway #smashed this one out in a frenzy #time to release it into the void like i'm freeing a lion from the zoo #wild and unchecked into the world #that's the best way to wring any of this nonsense out of me #18+ please #not sfw #ao3 has proper capitalization btw lmao #buddie #kinkley #mine

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911-clownin · 1 year

Text

Buddie Fanfiction

*over the radio*

Buck: Eddie, it’s Chris.

He was on the school bus.

He’s ….

Whatever Buck had been about to say was cut off by the sound of the school bus exploding into flames behind Eddie.

Bobby and Eddie turned to see the once yellow school bus now gray from the bridge debris and engulfed in flames.

Everything stopped. All time and sound ceased.

Eddie let out the most gut wrenching scream as his knees gave out from beneath him.

Bobby stepped in just in time to catch Eddie as he collapsed to the ground in despair—screaming and sobbing as he looked away from the bus, unable to look at the means that had just taken the two most important people to him.

“Eddie! Eddie! Breathe! Come on!” Bobby tried to console him but it didn’t seem like Eddie heard anything.

Bobby looked up, eyes burning by the brightness of the flames. But there in the distance was a dark frame, one that he recognized.

“Eddie! Look!” He yelled as he physically lifted Eddie’s head to see Buck walking toward them carrying a child.

“Christopher.” Eddie gasped as he attempted to stand back up, Bobby bearing the brunt of his weight.

“Buck.” Eddie barely spoke as he reached out to them.

“He’s okay Eddie!” Buck assured him as Eddie wraps his arms around both Buck and Chris.

“You’re okay?” Eddie pleads, running his hand through Chris’ hair.

“I’m okay dad.”

“You’re okay?” Eddie gasps, looking at Buck.

“I’m okay.” Buck responded surprised.

Acting purely out of relief and not even thinking about what he is doing, Eddie kissed Buck on the cheek.

“You’re okay.” He breaths, before repeating the phrase as he kisses Chris on the forehead. “You’re both okay.”

Eddie took a deep breath. He hadn’t realized just how much he had been holding it.

“We’re okay.” Buck assures him as Hen and Chim rush over with a gurney. Buck gently lays Chris on the gurney and he is quickly checked out by Hen and Chimney.

Eddie stands at Chris’ side, tears still streaming down his face. He feels like he died and just woke up. Buck stands next to him frozen in place, contemplating the look on Eddie’s face and the way that he just reacted. He’s seen the look on Eddie’s face when he thought he’d lost Chris before. But this was different.

He’s not surprised Eddie would be so distraught about losing Chris, but he was not expecting Eddie to be so concerned about him too. And the affection that he showered on both of them…equally, was surprising.

“He’s all good. Some minor cuts and bruises, and a few burns, but it will all heal fine.” Hen assures them looking from Eddie to Buck. She knows how much Buck cares for Chris, too.

“You guys can head home now if you need Eddie.” Bobby says resting a hand on his shoulder.

“You have to put out the fire first.” Chris chimes in, his regular demeanor and smile slowly returning.

“You can sit in the truck while we do so, bud.” Eddie says gathering Chris up and taking him to the engine. Chris watches from the window, as his Dad engulfs Buck in a hug before they go to work together to put out the bus.

When the fire was finally out the team gathered up their equipment before jumping into the engine with Chris and heading back to the fire station.

As the trucks parked in the station, Eddie grabbed Chris and jumped out.

“Let’s clean up here and then head home for the night, Chris.”

—————————————————————————

“Let me cinch the waist of these sweatpants bud or they are going to fall right off ya.” Eddie said with a smile.

“Ravi may be the smallest guy here but he’s still a bit bigger than you bud.”

“For now.” Chris chirped causing Eddie to chuckle.

“Ready to head home?”

“Where’s Buck?” Chris asked, looking down the hallway.

“Here Bud.” Buck responded, popping his head out of the locker room.

“Are you coming home with us?” Chris asked, surprising Buck and Eddie.

“Oh man, I still have a few more hours of my shift, bud. It’d be too late by the time I get done. You’ll be fast asleep.”

“Will you be there when I wake up then?” Chris asked in more of an expecting tone.

Buck hesitates.

“Sure Chris. I’ll be there in the morning when you wake up.” He assures him, looking at Eddie, as Chris starts to head towards the parking lot.

“I’ll come by in the morning.”

“Just come when you get off.” Eddie says softly with the same pleading look in his eyes that Chris just hit him with.

“Okay.” Buck says holding Eddie’s gaze for a moment before they both turn their separate ways.

—————————————————————————

The rest of the night is much slower. The crew doesn’t get called out to any other major emergencies. Buck wishes it was a bit more busy so that he could be distracted from the events of the night. The way that Eddie looked when he came around the corner of the bus with Chris in his arms. How Eddie locked eyes with him when he looked up and saw them. How Eddie engulfed them both in his arms and held Buck just as tight as Chris. How he needed to be assured that Buck too was okay. The quick kiss that he placed on his cheek. And then the look in his eyes when he asked Buck to come over after his shift.

Buck loved Eddie. He realized he was in love with Eddie when he got shot. And when he had to tell Chris that Eddie wasn’t coming home that night he broke down because he couldn’t imagine his life or Chris’ without Eddie. But even though deep inside him Buck knew he felt this way, he had no reason to believe that Eddie felt the same and had never truly considered what he was supposed to do with that love. He wrote it off as simply deep platonic love for his best friend.

He knew that his lightning strike had impacted Eddie pretty severely, even though Eddie hadn’t talked about it with him. Chris had told him just how upset Eddie was in the hospital, and how he didn’t sleep for days waiting to hear if Buck was going to wake up and be okay. But again, he didn’t read into that too much because Eddie pretty much immediately started dating again once Buck was out of the hospital.

But after today, he knew things were different. He knew that Eddie loved him as much as he did. And he knew that they had to have a conversation about what that meant.

He wasn’t afraid of his feelings for Eddie, but he wasn’t sure how this would change things, and he was worried that the perfect and safe family that he had built with Eddie and Chris was at risk of being interrupted.

So when he got in his Jeep after his shift he drove to the Diaz’s. As he pulled up out front he saw that the living room light was on. He knew Eddie had waited up even though it was well past midnight.

He walked through the front door, without knocking, and dropped his bag in the hallway before carefully stepping into the living room. Eddie was sitting on the couch, open but untouched beer in his hands, staring off into space. He had the most pensive and surprising look on his face.

Buck cleared his throat and Eddie looked up realizing he was there.

“Hey.” Eddie said. “Beer?” Offering his open bottle to Buck.

“No thanks.”

They sat in silence for a moment on their respective ends of the couch.

“How’s Chris?” Buck asked, not knowing where to start.

“He’s okay… Definitely shaken up… And I’m sure he’ll have nightmares again.” Eddie started. “But he told me about how scared he was until he saw your face and knew you were coming for him…. Thank you.” Eddie added.

“I’d do it a thousand times for that kid…and for you.” Buck said with a pause in the middle.

“I’m glad you’re okay too, Buck.” Eddie added after a moment of silence. “When the explosion cut off your voice on the radio, I thought I had lost both of you. And everything in me shut down. Because I can’t imagine, nor do I want to live a life without either of you.” Eddie said, turning to look at Buck for the first time since he sat down.

“I love you Buck. I’m not sure totally how or when, but you are the best thing that has happened to me, and to Chris. You have made our lives so much better. You have made my life so much better. You have made me better. You were there in my lowest moments, pulling me up off the floor, helping me patch up the holes in my walls and the holes in me. You have been there over and over again for my son—from the smallest school project to literally saving his life on, multiple occasions.”

Somewhere in the midst of his ramblings Eddie had looked away from Buck, but Buck had looked up at Eddie. And Buck saw just how genuine and sincere his words were. And knew that this was the moment that he would tell his best friend he loved him and everything would be more than okay. It would be wonderful and good, and they would continue to build a life together.

“I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to do this…”

“You don’t have to.” Buck cut Eddie off, moving to close the gap between them on the couch. “I’m here. And I’m always going to be here, Eddie. I love you, too. I think I’ve known for a while and just haven’t let myself think about it too much. But I love you Eddie. And I love Chris. And I would do anything for both of you. You’re my family. You’re my home.”

Buck reached out to turn Eddie’s head to look at him as he said those last two sentences. They held each other’s gaze for a moment. Buck’s hand cupping Eddie’s face. And then Buck leaned in and kissed Eddie gently on the lips. It wasn’t a fervent, lustful kiss. No, it was a simple, soft kiss. The kind you share with someone who is your home; when you are most comfortable, safe, at ease.

—————————————————————————

[The next morning]

“Dad!” Chris yelled knocking on Eddie’s bedroom door.

Eddie startled awake with the surprise of it, remembering that Buck lay behind him, arms wrapped around his waist, face pressed slightly against his sweaty shirt. They’d fallen asleep on the couch for a few hours, Buck’s head in Eddie’s lap, before Eddie woke up and directed the groggy Buck to his bed. Buck had collapsed onto Eddie’s normal side of the bed, but rolled over to embrace Eddie as he climbed into the less familiar side and fell immediately back to sleep.

“Coming Chris.” Eddie replied groggily, gently shaking Buck awake.

“He’s going to be asking for you in a minute. You promised to be here when he woke up.” Eddie reminded Buck.

“And I am.” Buck said in his groggy morning voice as he stretched his long limbs.

“I’ll go make him breakfast. You better hurry up.” Eddie said.

“Right behind you.” Buck assured sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

“Good morning bud, what do you want for breakfast?” Eddie asked Christopher as he opened his bedroom door. Chris immediately clocked Buck sitting on the edge of Eddie’s bed.

“Oh good, Buck, you’re here.” Chris started as he turned down the hallway. “I thought you hadn’t come when I didn’t see you on the couch.” He added.

“I said I would be here when you woke up, didn’t I?” Buck assured him. “And here I am.” He left it at that, intentionally not addressing Christopher’s awareness that he had slept in Eddie’s bed, with Eddie, rather than on the couch as he had done in the past.

“What do we want for breakfast, Buck?” Chris asked.

“Oh so he gets a say on breakfast but I don’t?” Eddie jumped to add.

“Of course!” Was all Chris said.

“How about cereal?” Buck said with a smile. And the three fell into an easy and familiar Saturday morning routine.

#911 fox #9-1-1 show #9-1-1 on fox #9-1-1 on abc #9-1-1 #9-1-1 buddie #9-1-1 fanfiction #evan buck buckely #eddie daiz #911 buck #eddie 911 #buddie #9 1 1 buddie

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queerpanikkar · 2 years

Text

hold on to the memories (they will hold on to you)

literally just a bunch of angsty prose (with some dialogue) to round out the year. happy 2022, everyone! manifesting that these two get their acts together in the new year

or: it’s New Year’s Eve and Buck just wishes things could go back to normal

Every December, without fail, Buck’s leg starts aching like a motherfucker.

Okay, that’s an exaggeration. Sort of. It does ache, like some sort of creature lives inside him, pulling at taut muscle and raking its claws down the bone, and more often than not the twist keeps him awake at night — breathing labored and brain overwhelmed by his phone, counting down the rapidly decreasing amount of time Buck has before he has to be awake again. It’s an awful thing to live with, especially on the few days in L.A. where the temperature dips before freezing in the daytime, but most of the time he can pop an Ibuprofen or two, and everything is fine.

This year though, the rest of him aches along with it. And he thinks both have something to do with the winter season — his leg because of the weather and the rest of him because of Christmas — but he’s so tired and it’s so hard to be sure of anything lately, so he just takes the pain meds in safe doses and rests his head on the station couch, blinking blearily at Home Alone 2 playing on the TV.

Christmas is long over, of course, but at the firehouse it still bleeds around the edges. Buck, staring at nothing, doesn’t make any move to change the channel, and Hen, sitting on the sofa to his left, curled up with a book in hand, doesn’t either.

Ravi comes back from the kitchen and settles on the third chair beside him just as Bobby treads up the stairs and Buck’s hit with this terrible thought that this is what his family is now, just the four of them here in the loft, and he’s nauseous with it, or maybe it’s the pain tearing its way up his ankle. Because, the three of them — Ravi, Bobby, and Hen — they have other people to go home to, and Buck’s an awful person, so he hates that too.

He has Taylor, of course. But he doesn’t have Maddie or Eddie or Chim, and nothing Taylor could say or do could balance that scale. So he’s not alone this December 31st, but god does he feel lonely.

“How’s that leg of yours, kid?” Bobby asks, passing behind the couch and reaching over to smooth his hand over Buck’s hair as he does, as if Buck is sick or his kid or something precious to be taken care of at all.

Buck mumbles something back, because he definitely needs another Ibuprofen or Tylenol or literally anything to stop the muscles in his calf from seemingly crumbling inside of him, but Hen’s keeping a hawkish eye on his medicine intake and nothing gets past her.

“Give me two minutes,” he says, trying to bite back the nausea rising up in his throat. It’s manageable. It’s not new. He’s fine. “I’ll be right there to help with dinner. Just, two minutes.”

Ravi takes one glance in Buck’s direction and snorts. Buck glares at him and he puts his hands up in surrender but shares a look with Hen that Buck can’t bring himself to comment on. He knows he’s a mess, okay? He knows he has been ever since Eddie left, like he and Chris were the last two threads holding him up like some sort of marionette doll.

Hell they might have been, because Buck’s leg hasn’t been this bad in ages and he’s this close to lugging himself to the doctor about it, except he’s got a couple right here in the station and he knows exactly what they’re going to ask. Really, Hen’s been shooting him that question with her eyes for a few days now.

“You can be man behind,” Bobby decides, like it was only inevitable. It’s not really a suggestion, but Buck’s sort of grateful that he frames it as one, because it’s only Hen and Ravi in the loft, but it’s also Buck, and he’s not the type of person to admit that all he wants to do at work right now is sink into the couch cushions and lay there.

Still, some irrational part of him feels the need to protest. “Bobby, I’m not—”

“Buck, you should be at home, resting,” Hen interjects. “Please don’t push it.”

“Fine,” Buck only half grumbles, and of course that’s when the alarm goes. Because it’s nearing midnight and that unavoidably means someone, somewhere, has set off fireworks where they’re not supposed to.

The alarm goes and the ladder truck follows, engine piercingly loud and out the bay doors, and Buck hauls himself into a sitting position. If he’s going to be utterly useless staying behind, in so much superficial pain that his thoughts feel congealed in his head, then he’s going to be dignified about it.

He breathes out heavily through his nose and tilts his head back onto the pillows. He’s trying to be a little bit dignified about it.

He doesn’t know how long he stays like that — lengthwise on the couch like he’s at a psychiatrist’s office, waiting for someone to diagnose him. Taylor calls him once, and he ignores it. She calls him again and Buck wishes he had the energy to pick up but then again he doesn’t. And he knows he should’ve broken up with Taylor three weeks ago but maybe he will in another three, and nothing really makes sense anymore, this New Year’s Eve, because he’s sitting on the couch while everyone else is out on a call and all he wants to do is stay there.

And then, like he belongs there, here, Eddie’s cocking his head down at him, Christopher asleep in his arms. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” Buck responds, covering his eyes with his arm since he’s pretty sure this is just a pain-induced hallucination. “What are you doing?”

“Buck,” Eddie says in the same tone as his first question, tinged with a worry that Buck’s not entirely sure he has any right to. “Everyone else is on a call. Why are you still here?”

Buck groans and shifts so that Eddie’s no longer upside-down. Blood rushes back to his brain, or maybe out of it…it rushes back to where it’s supposed to be and Eddie and Christopher are still real at the end of it. “My leg hurts,” he explains. “So I’m man behind. I don’t know. I’m not sure Bobby could afford to send me home right now.”

Eddie glares at him, and then his face contorts into something like pity, and then, probably because he remembered that Buck hates pity, it morphs into Eddie Diaz, medic extraordinaire. He sets Christopher down on the other sofa. He doesn’t stir. “Did you twist it somewhere?”

“No.”

“Are you doing your stretches still?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, well—” Eddie cuts himself off, but Buck’s familiar with the line of questioning. Any recent stressors in your life? (Oh, doc, let me tell you all about it).

“It’s fine,” Buck says, even though it’s not really. But his basis for things that are ‘fine’ have kind of just started to mean things that won’t kill him, so it’s fine. “What are you doing here? I thought you were at your abuela’s.”

“Christopher wanted to see you,” Eddie explains. “But he fell asleep. How much Ibuprofen have you taken today?”

“Eddie,” Buck grits out, and he’s in pain, sure, but not enough to justify this. No, that’s the anger talking. “Stop trying to take care of me.”

Finally, Eddie winces. Buck’s struck a nerve with this one and suddenly he wishes he hadn’t. He’s angry at Eddie, sure, but he’s also— “I’m sorry,” he says. “I just, it’s not the same without you here.”

“The station?”

“I don’t know,” and he doesn’t, he can hardly comprehend what’s coming out of his own mouth much less Eddie’s. “Yeah, the station, maybe. But me too.”

Eddie exhales. “I’m sorry for leaving,” he offers — the first reference to it that Buck’s heard since, well, Christmas. “I miss you.”

How? Buck wonders. I’ve been here this whole time. “I just wanted you to talk to me.”

“I know,” Eddie says. “I’m sorry about that too.”

The fireworks in the distance mark midnight. Buck’s chest is wound so tight he thinks it might burst. And Eddie’s looking at him with a gentle expression, a bit desperate, maybe, begging Buck to understand only he doesn’t. And he doesn’t think he ever could. It’s a new year and Eddie’s here right now but really, Buck’s going into it without him and that’s—

That doesn’t make sense to him.

Buck’s about to ask, “Are you?” which is only terrifying because he doesn’t want to know the answer when the bay doors open and the ladder truck beeps at them, backing into the station. Eddie tenses and then settles, and Buck thinks there’s probably something there that qualifies Eddie for a few months of therapy.

It’s midnight and Buck’s drowning in memories he was supposed to leave behind in the old year. He thinks they’ll never make it out of this one, not like this, not when the only thing tying them together is Eddie’s blood in Buck’s mouth and it’s—

Christopher’s shaken out of his sleep. He blinks blearily, trying to focus without his glasses. “Buck?” He asks.

“Yeah.” Buck inhales shakily. Eddie’s hand is on his knee and the aching quietens. They have something. “Happy New Year, kid.”

#don't know what this is really and when i don't know what this is there's obviously no need to edit #911fic #buddie

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fraddit · 2 years

Text

I wanted to do a fic rec list for buddie, but also I hate deciding things and I'm bad at writing pretty things about the fics I like. So I went through my roughly 200 ao3 buddie bookmarks, pulled out the ones that, as stated above, made my brain go !!!, and put them in alphabetical order.

There's 50 fics in total, so I broke it down to 5 more manageable posts of 10 fics each. This is post number 3. I hope you enjoy.

Part One | Part Two | Part Four | Part Five

i close my eyes (all the stars align) by @hattalove (T, 2k)

“Eddie Diaz,” she says, in a voice that makes Buck cower, “tell me this isn’t what it looks like.” “I don’t know what it looks like,” Eddie huffs. “My fucking eyes are closed.” “He didn’t see me!” Buck steps in. “And I didn’t see him either. We’re playing by the rules.” who would win? a centuries-old tradition that forbids you from seeing your spouse on your wedding day, or two silly firefighters in love?

i don't swim and you're not in love by @hattalove (T, 32k)

She turns to Eddie and says something else, but Buck is busy fighting the headrush he gets at the sound of Ana Flores calling Eddie and Christopher 'the boys'. Like they belong to her already. God, what’s wrong with him? What is this? or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.

I know you’re hurting (but so am I) by justhockey (NR, 4k)

Eddie understands better than maybe anyone else ever could, how it feels to have everything unravel in the palm of your hands. He knows frustration - he knows fury. He’s painfully familiar with that burning rage that crackles in the tips of your fingers, that makes your skin hot and chest tight, and makes you want to punch anyone that dares to even look at you. But that doesn’t give Chim the right to lay a damn hand on Buck.

I was late but I arrived by justhockey (NR, 5k)

Buck has people who love him, and that’s not going to change, even if Eddie isn’t one of those people anymore.

I’m gonna give all my secrets away by @an-optimist-prime, @tails89 (T, 2.5k)

“Truth or dare?” "Really?" “What? Would you rather play I spy?” Buck asks, rolling his eyes. “I spy something brown...surprise! It’s the shitty panelling in the elevator we’ve been trapped in for an hour.” - Or, the one where Buck and Eddie get trapped in an elevator during a blackout, and play truth or dare to pass the time.

in my heart i wanted more by @woodchoc-magnum (M, 47.5k)

Set post-Season 5, Episode 4 and 5 - in which Buck and Taylor's relationship is slowly crumbling, Eddie has some big realisations about his sexuality, and true feelings are revealed.

in silence, a train runs off its tracks by catching_paper_moons (T, 3k)

So 3 am at the firehouse finds Eddie the only one awake, his heart pounding too hard for him to actually relax. It’s not like he needs to, exactly; lord only knows how long he’s gone without sleep at this point, but now that he can’t hear Buck, Hen, and Ravi’s breathing, it’s too quiet, the lights down too low. He needs some sort of distraction. He wants to go to sleep. It’s just— Sleep doesn’t come very easily to Eddie these days. (aka Eddie and Buck try to talk)

in the arms of the ocean by @littlespooneven (T, 7k)

“Someone wanted to come say hi before we head home,” Eddie says, voice a little gravelly around the edges, and Buck can only imagine how worn out he must be by now. He has no idea what Eddie faced today but he can’t imagine it’s been much easier than anything Buck endured. Buck opens his mouth to say something but no words come out. Instead he just stares in awe as Eddie picks Chris up under his arms and deposits him onto the cot on Buck’s right side. Buck scrambles to put an arm around him to hold him in place but it’s not really necessary when Christopher immediately curls into him anyway. He tucks his face into the crook of Buck’s neck and mumbles out a tired but relieved, “You’re okay.” All the breath in Buck’s body rushes out of him at once at that and he wraps both arms around Christopher, pressing a kiss to the matted hair at the top of his head. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, voice hitching around the lump in his throat. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you, buddy.” * After the tsunami, Eddie takes Buck home.

keep them in your eyes by @archerincombat (G, 2k)

“Well I wasn’t going to bring Buck,” Chris replies, walking rapidly towards a bench overlooking the Pacific Ocean. “Though he took me to visit mom the other day. It’s like my trauma world tour.” “Chris-” “My therapist suggested it!” “Oh, that makes it better.” Chris grins. “Sorry, Dad,” he says, though he doesn’t sound all that sorry. “If it makes you feel better, I got the sarcasm from you too.”

This is mostly an Eddie and Christopher fic, and it's beautiful.

keep your eyes on the road by @evanbucxley (M, 4k)

Buck used to speed through yellow lights; now they’re his favorite part of the drive. -- or; a glimpse into buck and eddie’s developing relationship, told through ten moments stopped at a traffic light

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckely #911 #911 fox #buddie fic #buddie fic rec #eddie x buck #buck x eddie #fraddit buddie fic recs #shut up fraddit

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what-do-1000-swords-look-like · 2 years

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what's your interpretation of the way oliver reacted to the episode, seems to me he hates bucktaylor. if i was a fan of a couple and one of the actors was this openly against the pairing i'd start worrying that the couple won't last. I personally think BT will break up in 5B.

Hey, Nonnie! Hmmm, I have tbh I didn't know Oliver had posted those stories until you mentioned it in this ask. I just took a look and I could be wrong, but if I had to guess, I would say it could be one of two things: 1) Buck is not interacting with Eddie or Christopher in the way that he has in the past two seasons (I'm not saying that everything is about Buddie or Buddipher when it comes to this show but this was majorly important for Buck's character as well as Eddie's and Christopher's). There's still very much a disconnect which I personally think is because they're making Buck go through the same thing they made Eddie go through in the beginning of the season. Or 2) Buck is repeating history in a way and while it doesn't undo the character development of the last two seasons, and he did show some growth this episode (by putting his foot down with Taylor when he found out she was flying somewhere), it still does feel a bit like 'okay, here we go again' and the carousel music starts.

Tbf to Oliver, it could be any number of things he's reacting to, and I don't really know too much about him outside of this show, but if I had to guess, I would think it's one of those two things, quite possibly the latter one. I don't know if he hates the BT ship per se, but he may not be a fan of it just because what it seems to represent for his character that he cares very deeply about. I think "Last Dance" was chosen very purposely for the "I love you" from Taylor as well as the revealing dialogue of Buck not knowing all of Taylor's secrets and then they run up to bed after.

I think that scene spoke very loudly actually because it's almost as if they chose to show us Buck and Taylor running up to the bedroom after to indicate not only that they were now getting back to the sexual phase of their relationship while also laying a new emotional foundation for it, but also that there are still mysteries about her so to speak. Mysteries that maybe Buck still wants to figure out.

But they also made sure to show us the contrast in the dynamics between BT and Buddie in this episode. The 118 knows Buck's romantic history (outside of Ravi who is hearing it for the first time) and Eddie pretty much stays out of it but laughs along and even busts Buck's chops. No secrets from Eddie or the 118. Then Buck teases Eddie about watching telenovelas with Christopher which Eddie defensively confirms. No secrets about Eddie, from Buck.

Plus, we also get this smile from Buck once Eddie says "We watch it to practice our Spanish":

That is a genuine Buck smile right there (as we all know), barely able to be contained.

And we also get this smile when Eddie teases him about the hair washing excuse Buck mentioned women use on him:

So to go back to your question, Nonnie, I am willing to bet (with my very limited knowledge tbf) that it is definitely something relating to Buck's character for this episode and his development. And it may or may not have to do with Eddie, Christopher, or both. The series has completely interwoven Eddie's and Christopher's stories with Buck's so complexly, that there's no way those threads aren't being affected when it comes to something like Buck's growth and development, even if it's his relationship with Taylor and where Buck goes from there with that.

And I completely agree with you, a breakup is coming. Not only because we saw for the first eight episodes (or however many Taylor was in) just how disconnected they were as a couple, even before they started to hint at Taylor's back story and that she was keeping something hidden from Buck about it, but also because with this I love you, with this entire episode, something still feels off regarding the relationship, right down to Buck's reaction to the declaration.

Buck said it himself in 5x02 "That's not how you talk about someone you're in love with". And in that 118 truck scene tonight, even though he was at a crossroads and needed advice which Bobby gave, that's not how you talk about someone you're in love with or a relationship you want to stay in. Which is exactly why we get Eddie's little sarcastic "Yeah, who does that?" And then these reactions:

Eddie knows. He may not know how Buck truly feels on some other things, but he definitely knows that this BT relationship isn't going to last. That line of Eddie's isn't just meant to be a callback to us as the audience to that 5x02 scene but also to show us that Buck is making a very similar mistake. He told Eddie basically to crap or get off the pot with Ana; Buck needs to do the same with Taylor. And the ending of this episode wasn't Buck making that decision, at all. He still needs to make it.

I know a lot of people hope BT breaks up in 5x10 but I'm not sure it will happen that quickly. Not now that there has been an emotional foundation laid for Buck and Taylor as a romantic couple. I think like you said, it will come in 5B. But I truly don't see that relationship lasting into season 6. They're forcing Buck to examine things a little too closely the past few episodes when it comes to Taylor. And the fact that yes, Buck tried to get Taylor to stay this episode, but literally in this truck scene accepted that a breakup was headed his way until Bobby bops him on the head? That's very telling. He wasn't destroyed or worried about it like he had been with Abby and Ali. It not only shows his growth but also shows the audience one big thing: 'don't get too attached to this relationship because Buck doesn't appear to be that invested'. Especially with Hen's line of "Abby, Ali, they don't rhyme with Taylor, that has to be a good sign, right?" He was invested with Abby. He was invested with Ali. He's not invested in Taylor. He cares about her, wants to be there for her, but he's not in love with her. It's all right there in the dialogue and in this season. BT is about to go through what EA did, just not sure what episode it will come to a head on.

So, Nonnie, my very long answer to your question is I think if Oliver was reacting this way to the episode then it has to do with Buck and his story. Because regardless of whether he likes BT or despises it, one thing is for sure, while BT is most likely important for Buck's story to continue getting him to where he needs to be (just like Ana with Eddie), it really does leave the viewer watching it with a sense of 'um, okay? this kind of feels like a waste of time, tho? like do what you gotta do but um, can we actually see Buck's story like move?' And Buck choosing to stay in a relationship he's not 100% invested in (again, "I think we kind of live together, we never explicitly discussed it") isn't really moving Buck's story forward, except maybe in one big way, which ends up feeling like the dance we as the audience have been doing with Buck over and over again.

Thank you for the ask, Nonnie! I hope you have a wonderful rest of your night! <3

#ask #buddie #anti bucktaylor #911 fox #ask answered #oliver stark #evan buck buckley #911 5x09 #buddie ask #evan buckley

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