#and IM NOT GOING TO DELETE THEM I M PROUD OF THEM I LIKE THEM I LIKE MYSELF YOU ALL LIKE THEM U ASKED ME FOR THEM
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im home and already swallowed by despair. can you believe i was in CHICAGO a few hours ago. and now im here. lol
#i know i know. and i need to let the anguish motivate me to get out of here. but it feels like i dreamed it all#purrs#chicago#i had a rough time getting out of the hotel and through the airport to my gate and also im bad at math so i fucked up the calculation about#when my flight lands bc of the time zone change and i gave my parents the time in central time not eastern time so my dad was waiting for m#for like a half hour and texting me and i wasn’t answering bc i was still in the air and he was pissed at me and snarky in my texts with hi#and i was sitting there on the plane and could just feel his words ripping into me and the horrors rushing back in and i still haven’t#recovered from it honestly. it wasn’t that big of a deal he just said something that i misunderstood as him saying he was giving up waiting#for me and going home bc id already wasted his time and even though that was not what he actually said it just kinda burrowed into me that#my parents were mad at me and were probably also mad at me for not communicating with them AT ALL the entire time i was in chicago. and it#just was eating me alive. im home now and we haven’t talked about it but they did say things disapproving of the fact that i did a lot of#stuff by myself which i probably shouldn’t have told them. idk. it’s not even that bad i just am torn apart by their rejection of me and#utter inability to just like be happy for me without criticizing some part of it or restraining me. plus the house is just as much of a#biohazard as it was when i left and all the broken things are still broken and it’s like. a lot. i miss the hotel LOL#i think im just sleep deprived and not in my head right today but i do not want to be here. sinking in quicksand unable to breathe. but i#have to be the one to get me out of it and i should have learned how in chicago but i didn’t it was just a break and now im stuck again#delete later#kind of terrible that instead of being so proud and happy about what i did my immediate reaction is to be miserable that im home now lol
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i got stressed with essays and exams so i dont think ive used tumblr in like. a year and a half? im not too sure that any of my mutuals even post here anymore. i believe the fandom here is dead (or most are minecraft stans who sometimes post cc stuff) and ive moved on so no more posts unless i start watching everyone again :(
occasionally ill watch a vid here and there but ive moved on to other kinds of content now (i have had a full blown obsession with daredevil/pedro pascal/The Batman/comics in general for the past year if anyones interested). i only thought this was appropriate to post cause i saw the detective AU i was writing on an old save and it reminded me about this (im so sorry i never finished it. re-read it and its not as bad as i remember but itll take much effort to clean up and finish and I Don’t Have The Time ATM.)
also should say - im so happy for james and his content/music career :D hes the only one ive been sorta in the know about (apart from fraser on twt) and he seems to be more happy now than he has been in the past few years combined. hes basically became detached from the rest of them but has grown so much on twitch. v v proud and looking forward to what he does next
#this is weird and a bit of stan cringe but it just felt appropriate yknow?#im not going to delete anything so imma just leave this like it is#it would feel weird to suddenly rebrand#but seriously if anyones interested ive had such a crush on m*tt murdock for the past year its insane#censor so it doesnt appear in tags#also proud of alex for the pod and will for switching things up and doing higher quality vids#also george for the movie vids cause theyre fun :>#also no longer a mc stan#how times have change my god#also again sorry for not posting the fics i promised#i had so many in drafts but i just never got around to finishing any of them :( to the vault they go#freya.txt
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HYPER-SEXUAL (s,jy)
If there’s anything in life that Jake wants, it’s to fuck. All day, every day, it’s on his mind. He fantasizes constantly, watches porn every free chance he gets, and ultimately has grown bored of his own hand to satiate his need.
or the one where jake is inexperienced, incredibly perverted, and borderline addicted to sex but cannot, for the life of him, land a girl.
leave feedback and reblog to give jake another boner.
minors do not interact.
WORDCOUNT― 13.8k
PAIRING― jake sim x afab reader
CONTENT― smut, inexperienced but pervy and dominant jake, he kind of has an addiction to jerking off, im not joking like he has a boner every twenty minutes it’s probably a medical issue but, reader is really sex positive and lets jake go absolutely insane on her
NOTE― not proof read in the way it needed to be. disclaimer: this is straight up just porn. it had a plot at one point but i deleted all of it and wrote this instead. also this is posted on my other blog for mark lee. yes, i wrote it for both of them bc they both fit the shoe ok? ok.
smut tags under cut::
smut tags― jake isn’t submissive– just a loser, loads of masturbation, also loads of loads lmfao, jake’s dick is 8 inches in this one, public humiliation, dirty talk, teasing, pussy eating / face sitting, mentions of free use, unprotected sex, wayyyy way too much cum, raw grinding, attempts at deep throat, accidental face fucking, finger fucking, suffocation, riding, squirting, implications to the fact that orgasms are not the end of the fic bc they just keep going, some say they’re still fucking to this day.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“Feels so good! Harder! Fuck m-”
Jake slams his laptop shut in an exasperated sigh. Frustrated, annoyed, fucking horny.
Always horny. To the point that nothing excites him anymore. Not his hard-on being palmed at by his own hand, not the make-shift pocket pussy he’s made out of household objects, not the porn on page one or on page seventy-three.
Honestly, even as hard as he is now, it’s arguable that he could just start punching his cock and he’d still remain in this state until something changes. And you know what sucks more than not being able to get off? Being hard so constantly that it’s just a state of living at this point.
It’s sad. He could be washing caked ketchup off of a plate and his cock would still lend a little jump. A reminder that his hand is no longer enough. A fucking threat that if he doesn’t sink into a pretty hole soon, he might as well just kill himself.
The idea doesn’t seem too bad anymore, as he lays flat on his back with his cock in hand on his messy sheets. He stares up at the ceiling with another long-winded groan, wondering why he has to have such an insatiable libido and probably twice as much stamina. If he could just get off he’d have at least a little bit of time in his day to feel normal before it takes hold of his brain again.
It’s the fact that he’s grown entirely numb to his own hand and feels like he’s going crazy because he hasn’t been able to hook-up with anyone in nearly a year. Porn is boring, he swears he’s seen just about all of the good, bad, and bizarre. Post nut clarity barely exists because there is no clarity by the time he finally gets that hard-to-reach nut. Bad luck, maybe. Awful fucking miserable luck? That’s more fitting.
For the sake of the girls in this city, perhaps it’s good that he can’t manage to land a hook-up. Surely they’d be unable to walk by the time he gets his fill, that is if he manages to get a fill at all. And it’s gotten to the point that Jake has almost entirely given up on finding a girl at all. One that’s willing to put up with his near-constant need to get his dick wet, anyway.
Almost given up.
A thought crosses his mind as he lazily palms himself with a bored sigh, knowing he’ll end up locked up in an asylum somewhere if this doesn’t stop. The voice of Jay in his head doing little to make his cock soften, which is…not something Jake is proud to admit.
“Dude, you gotta put a stop to this shit. This is your third laptop this year!” Jay had said to him. “It’s only June!”
Maybe Jay was right, and maybe Jake should have downloaded the new app that was mentioned shortly after the scolding rather than immediately going to another, even more, shady porn site. “Heard this one was really good.” Jay had advertised. “Even got Jungwon laid.”
Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to try another app despite the immense amount of failure Jake has already faced regarding previous attempts with other platforms. After all, if it got Jungwon laid, surely it could get him laid too.
Maybe this one really is better.
And at the end of the day, Jake does download the app. After all, creating a profile is easy, finding a girl though?
We’ll see.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Ah. Okay. Nice.
Jake stays glued to his phone all night. He really had no hope that this app would offer him anything more than what the others did. But, oh.
The app allows specific features, most of which are not aimed towards users looking for a relationship. Dick and body sizes are out in the open, there’s sections you can fill out regarding what you’re looking for in a sexual partner, how often you’re willing to see said partner, and if you’re looking for a regular fuck or a one time fuck.
Safe to say, Jake’s profile went a little something like this:
you can call me jake, im 24. just looking for a girl either for regular visits or a one night stand that’s willing to deal with a guy who literally suffers from chronic-boner syndrome.
LOOKING FOR: Female
PREFERENCE: One Time Only, Occasional Meetups, On-call, Regular meetups, Permanent Friends-With-Benefits, Secret Meet, Virtual Meet, Audio Meet, Rebound C…[Click to see more]
PARTNER REQUIREMENTS: N/A
SIZE REFERENCE: 8 ½” hard, 4” soft, 5.6” circumference
SEXUAL INTERESTS: Vanilla, Free Use, BDSM, Begging, Breeding, Dom/Sub, Dominatrix, CBT, Role Play, Public Humiliation, Edging, Spanking, Dirty Talk, Phone Sex, Virtual Sex, Group Sex, Humiliation, Cock Play, Cum Dump, Religion, Raw, Multiple Orgasms, Androgyny, Genital Piercings, Older Women, Body Art, Wax, Anal, Financial Domina...[Click to see more]
NOT INTERESTED IN: Cuckolding, Voyeurism
OTHER: im not very experienced in most of these, i just watch a lot of porn
Embarrassing? Yeah, probably.
Looks like a lot of women are into that though if his inbox is anything to go by, anyway. With him checking the app every few minutes to find ten new messages? Yeah, they’re feeling him.
He can only imagine what the fuck Jungwon had on his profile to actually land a hook-up. Couldn’t have been any worse than his own, after all, Jake is desperate and so was Jungwon at one point.
Apparently girls like desperate guys.
Message after message, degrading comments and praise, all from either women clad in leather or sweet looking church girls who must have the app hidden deep within their phones. There’s barely anyone in between those two categories, actually.
“Hi baby boy, you looking for a sugar mama?”
“ur dick really that big? lol, what do you even mean by ‘chronic boner syndrome’?”
“you’re so desperate to get laid, might as well just doxx yourself at this point…please.”
Arguably, these women are very forward and he has a great time sifting through the ones he’s interested in. Scrolling through all of these messages….does not help his case regarding his insatiable need to fuck something either so, naturally, he’s also 100% jerking off the entire time he’s doing this.
Still, never quite able to reach the orgasm he needs by this point.
Up until there’s a message that catches his attention. No degrading, no insults, no borderline-too-kinky insinuations. Which, given, Jake probably shouldn’t have selected the majority of the kinks just to pull more girls, but he did.
And upon reading the message, he almost doesn’t know if this girl is real.
“High libido, no girls around to help you out, I take it? Rough.”
One look at her profile spikes even more interest. Her sexual interests include a list of things he wishes he didn’t fit. But he does, though he’d never admit it. Inexperienced men, losers, virgins, micro-penis, big penis, praise (receiving), body worship–
Oh.
Fuck yeah.
He responds quickly, already feeling the orgasm within him bubble up as he tries to pretend he doesn’t go on a war path of responding to everyone after you, but still. Your message box with him remains in his mind as he awaits the response to his message of “you looking to help me out?”
Every ping on his phone afterwards makes his cock twitch more, makes it dribble out little beads of pre-cum with each pass of his palm, only for him to sigh out of frustration that it’s just another person that wants to devour him whole. Which, he’ll take what he can get if his first choice never responds but still. He wants to get off to you.
He finds himself on your profile more often than anyone else’s too, looking at the same three photos you’ve posted, noting how you don’t seem super active on the app, but active enough to find him by some beautiful grace of God.
You’re kind of perfect, honestly. Fairly mundane compared to most of the women in his inbox, but cool nonetheless. He can tell you have an eye for fashion but it seems to be more geared towards your real life self rather than the secret fetish/kink app you’ve got downloaded.
And that’s the thing. Most of these women, beautiful or not, are dressed in their best sexual attire just to message a possible fuck, while during their daily lives they probably wear conservative dresses and pant suits. Which….arguably that’s kind of hot. Then again, what isn’t hot to him these days?
You though. You have normal pictures posted just like he does. Your tits aren’t out, your legs aren’t open, you don’t have a pile of sex toys behind or beside you and yet still your pictures turn him on more than those who do. Insane how his cock twitches at just these three photos, fucking insane how he grows a near instant obsessed thinking about how you…uh, deal with the losers you seem to be looking for.
Then again, maybe it’s the mystery of what’s under your clothes, or what’s in your stash of sex toys. Oh, whatever you’re hiding has got be so fucking hot. Naturally, he groans at the amount of sexuality you barely give. Thinking far, far too hard about it all, given the circumstances.
Don’t get him wrong, he can get down with the hoes. In fact, he very much wants to get down with a hoe. But man, the way you stand out because you’re somehow….boring compared to everyone else?
Please.
Fucking pretty please, let him in between those thighs.
And just as he scrolls again through your photos, that long-awaited orgasm hits him like a brick.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
A mere two days later you find yourself in the inbox with the self-proclaimed boner-god. He’s since proven his size with photos involving different objects beside said penis, and even a video or two of his frantic hands jerking off to you.
Ah, he’s kind of perfect if you think about it. At first you thought that it was just roleplay for him or something. Where he plays a guy who can’t get enough, though he clearly probably does. It wasn’t until you were woken up at four in the morning with him spamming your inbox that you suddenly realized this dude is actually as desperate as he seems.
Normally, being spammed awake by your phone pinging consistently would bother you. But goddamn was he needing it. Just three hours before now it was mostly casual conversation with him, albeit about hooking-up, but still. The two of you agreed to determine on the following day if you were compatible enough for a meet up. He said goodnight to you, and you said it back.
Then you woke up to three dick pics, one voice note with a borderline pathetic apology (only because you could still hear him going at it), and then like fourteen messages of him trying to wake you up intentionally.
JAKE_02 sent you a message: You awake?
Dick pic #1.
JAKE_02 sent you a message: You’re so pretty, sorry lol
Dick pic #2
JAKE_02 sent you a message: Wake uppppppppppp!
JAKE_02 sent you a message: Please? :(
Dick pic #3, precum smeared across his fingers as he grips it.
JAKE_02 sent you a message: Do you already have me silenced?
JAKE_02 sent you a message: I’d let you silence me hahaha….
JAKE_02 sent you a voice memo: “Sorry about all this, I really meant it when I said I have a problem. You should probably just block me because I’m going to end up begging to see you otherwise”
Oh, he has an accent.
JAKE_02 sent you a message: your profile says you like inexperience…..well i’ve only slept with like 3 girls, is that inexperienced enough?
JAKE_02 sent you a message: do you like to tease guys like that? like edge them and stuff?
JAKE_02 sent you a message: oh damn, that’d be so hot
JAKE_02 sent you a message: do you like it when guys beg btw?
Etcetera.
And, well, apparently he just has a lot to say. It’s cute how embarrassed he must feel basically getting himself off with a one-sided sext session with you as you were sleeping. At least, you hope he’s embarrassed.
You let his messages simmer for a while, waiting to see if he sends anything else. And when he doesn’t, you respond.
YOURUSERNAME: that was cute.
It’s the way he’s instantly trying to respond that really gets you going. You chuckle first, knowing already that you’d probably help him out based on this situation alone.
YOURUSERNAME: trying to wake me up because you can’t stop touching yourself? :( poor baby.
JAKE_02: oh god please don’t say that
JAKE_02: im gonna end up awake all night trying to get it to go down again
YOURUSERNAME: that’s good to hear. so you can go for a long time then?
Yes, you’re teasing him.
JAKE_02: if you’d let me
YOURUSERNAME: you already got off tonight tho, didn’t you?
JAKE_02: i don’t think you understand just how bad it is. i’m already getting my dick out again
You lend yourself a sly chuckle after a deep yawn, knowing for a fact that you’re about to make him prove to you that he’s either still hard or really did get off only to get hard again by a mere few messages from you.
YOURUSERNAME: show me?
And he does. Similar to the other three photos, only this time he sends a short video with his shorts pushed down his thighs and his cock raging hard and pathetic against his stomach. Again, he’s big, that much is true, but the fact that such a dick is always ready to fuck? To the point he’s desperate? To the point he’s embarrassing about it?
YOURUSERNAME: how bad do you wanna bury that in me?
Oh, shit. Jake could fucking die right now. You seem so willing, which is truly what he needs at this point in his sexual sickness.
JAKE_02: i’ll come over right now.
JAKE_02: let me come over and show you
YOURUSERNAME: let’s wait a bit for that, gotta meet officially before I let you fuck me
And you do intend to make him wait, knowing for a fact that you’re not meeting this guy tonight. There’s too much danger in that. Given how desperate he actually is, you can argue that if you changed your mind upon meeting, he very well may not care. Which, that’s something you need to worry about with any person you meet on such an app, but still.
Public meeting first.
Always.
JAKE_02: right, right, that makes sense.
JAKE_02: so can i see your pussy then
You stifle a laugh as if the man can hear you, he’d probably like that though. But yeah, no. As much as you know he’d enjoy that, it’s best to let him experience it for the first time in real life if all of this goes well. So, you settle with tits.
Meaning, he has to settle with them too.
And the photo is all but enough for Jake. The ping of his phone was far too exciting with the flash of the image sinking into his eyes. Sure, he wanted to see your hole open for him, he wanted to see your pretty hands spreading your lips for the picture, he wanted to see what he might get to fuck into someday– but…
This is good enough for him, honestly. Seeing your tits alone is hot enough, but it’s the fact that you only barely let him see. The plush skin of your lower breasts are peeking from under the shirt you're wearing, one nipple barely out, the other completely hidden.
He moans out at it, holding his cock tight and painfully as he glares into the screen of his phone. God, he can almost taste it.
JAKE_02: thats so hot…but….
JAKE_02: pussy….
JAKE_02: please show me your pussy
Another chuckle at how desperate he really is. You lower your phone just a bit, not at all intending to show him all of it but you do lend a panty shot with your legs spread. He’ll live with it, he doesn’t have a choice.
And he does live with it because he cums almost instantly upon seeing just your thighs open. He wouldn’t have been able to hit climax so quickly had you already had this photo posted for all to see. It’s the fact that you sent it to him in the dms. It’s the fact that you presumably just took it for him. It’s the fact that he can almost see the outline of your folds, and the lines of your pussy that deserves to fucked open.
When he doesn’t respond immediately, you know it was enough for him. Already you’re preparing to roll back over and get some more sleep, but your phone dings again.
JAKE_02: tht was hot lol….um
JAKE_02: can u come to the mall tomorrow? i work at [redacted store name], u can come see that im actually very normal if u want
You stop for a second through another yawn, thinking long and hard about it. You shrug to yourself because tomorrow is a saturday and there’s plenty of public spaces to meet him in. And despite how fun it could be to tease him for weeks on end before officially meeting him, you, yourself, have been in a dry-spell lately.
And he fits your interests perfectly. In other words, yeah, you could fuck.
YOURUSERNAME: you sure you’re not gonna take me in the back and fuck me on the spot?
JAKE_02: ….would u want me to?
YOURUSERNAME: no, i wanna bring you home if i think you could make me feel good
JAKE_02: hahah damn
JAKE_02: so you’ll come see me?
YOURUSERNAME: yeah, i’ll come see you
JAKE_02: ok cool :)
And then it’s silent for a long while. In fact, you’re nearly asleep again when your phone pings one last time. All you need to see is the notification to know that meeting Jake is gonna be fun.
JAKE_02 sent you a message: for the record…i definitely will fuck you good
Sounds promising.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
You knew he was cute but holy shit, he’s like, cute cute.
Fucking handsome and charmingly cute.
Perhaps even, hot.
You stand from around a shelf to check him out. That same accent you’ve heard previously rings loud and clear in your head, and his hair is definitely a stylistic mess, the type of hair you can imagine grabbing and tugging to guide a tongue between your legs. His eyes are pretty and piercing yet equally as filled with some sort of wonder. His hands, his body.
Oh wow.
On any other day, you’d think he’s just some poser emo-guy working a shitty retail job so he can buy his first guitar and play it totally out of tune. But on this day, you’re aware that this is a man with a need that you very much wouldn’t mind satisfying.
Seeing him go about his work tasks behind the counter is another thing. Checking customers out both through the register and with his eyes when they walk away. You know he isn’t aware that you’ve actually shown up, and it feels nice to watch him in his element before he attempts to play himself up as a totally normal, cool dude. Especially now that you can see him secretly be a pervert on the clock.
Customer after customer, he smiles at them when he hands them their items, he offers small talk and little chuckles that ring in your ears, and every single time one of the pretty ones walks away, his head turns to watch them leave for a few seconds too long.
Anyone can tell he needs it if they watch him for long enough.
You’re not sure why this guy is getting to you the way he is, but there’s just something about the way that he carries himself in public that turns you on. You already know for a fact that he’s a horny motherfucker. You know that behind those charming smiles and laughs, he’s got a neglected cock needing to be used.
No one else in this store is aware of it. You’re the only person here who knows he was spamming a stranger last night with dick pics and begging to see her pussy.
It’s hot.
And when you approach, Jake nearly doesn’t even know it’s you at first.
“Hi, did you find everything you–” Jake stops mid sentence. “Oh, fuck. You’re here.” He adds, trying to primp his hair into a spot that may look a little better than it did already.
You watch as he studies you for the first time, nervously darting his tongue out and against his bottom lip just for a split second before shifting his eyes behind you, and then turning to look around to see if anyone is within ear shot.
No one is paying attention to either of you, and no one is going to hear what you’re about to say to him. Good.
“Do you wanna see my pussy?”
It’s a joke, mostly. Kinda.
You chuckle at his stunned reaction. His hands move to the counter as he clutches it and continuously looks around to make sure no one just heard those lewd ass words from a girl so goddamn hot. Like, oh god, it’s you. You really showed up to see him and already he’s not acting normal.
No, no. You’re the one acting out of pocket, not him.
“I’m–” He tries to start, but his voice cracks in a very, very, embarrassing way. You hear him clear his throat before continuing. “I’m supposed to be showing you that I’m normal.”
You tilt your head at him playfully, leaning against the counter and pushing your tits together with your arms. You wore this shirt here for a reason, and boy are you glad you did. You watch his eyes go straight to your chest and stay there.
“Public Humiliation.” You echo one of his sexual interests to him from his app profile. “Dirty talk.”
Jake swallows around his words in stunned silence, feeling his cock wake up immediately. Fuck, this is the only place he finds peace of mind from…that. Yet here you are, with that soft and pretty voice reminding him of everything he wants but hasn’t been able to have. Standing there like you know he can’t bend you over right now and make you stop talking.
“Eight and a half inches hard.” You continue, leaning in even closer and moving your hand to the collar of your shirt. Tugging down just a little bit. “Five point six inch circumference.”
Jake squeezes his eyes shut as he leans back with a sigh, pressing his hips against the counter for some sort of relief. To think the “boring” girl on the app wouldn’t be like this? God, he knew there had to be a catch considering you were on that app to find him in the first place.
“Please–” He groans as his ears redden, lazily opening his eyes to look at your tits again. “Please don’t do this to me.”
“I can imagine you’d fit it in me just right, wouldn’t you Jake?” You continue briefly, noting the bulge he blatantly presses against the counter. “Can you say ‘please’ again? It’s kinda hot.”
“Please–” Jake blatantly groans now, his voice sounding hoarse and low. As much as he wants you to keep going, he’s at fucking work. He can’t be doing this.
“Okay!” You gleefully agree as you switch up like you didn’t just fuck him up, lending him a bright and innocent smile as you lean back and away from him. “So you don’t want to see my pussy then?”
His relieved face falls right back into that of pained frustration as he narrows his eyes at you.
“Right now?” He asks curiously, nodding his head without realizing it. Sure, he’s at work but like….your pussy is also at his work place right now.
“Yeah! Can you show me to the fitting room, actually?” You ask, louder this time in case anyone has moved around within ear-shot by now. Can’t make him lose his job, or whatever.
Jake swallows thickly with a nod, his eyes still narrowed at you but his mind racing a mile a minute at the fact that you’re really here right now, and this is what you’re doing to him? Enjoying his pain? Enjoying his suffering? Making it worse?
Five minutes ago he was perfectly fine. You’re using his need against him and god, he loves it. Yeah, maybe he will take you to the back and try to fuck you at this point. Even if you said that you wouldn’t let him…what the fuck is this then?
Really, he expected you to show up with an awkward hello and irritating small talk. He wanted to show you that he’s not always thinking about sex. Except he is, and it seems you want him to. You want him to think about fucking you.
You really just walked into this establishment and asked him if he wants to see your pussy.
Of course he wants to see it. You already fucking know that. He wants to fuck it too, like, right now.
And as he walks you to the fitting room, he has to try his damndest to adjust his growing cock. He nods to each customer as he walks by them, hands repeatedly going back to his lap to hide what he’s packing.
“Here it is.” Jake says in an unfocused voice, nearly staring a hole through you. “Now show me.”
You dip your head in a smile, heading for the room and opening the curtain. Cheap ass store, really, most places have actual doors, but whatever.
It’s easy to step inside and leave the curtain skewed a bit, knowing that Jake is hovering around the room, knowing that it’s probably protocol that an employee assist this space when it’s in use to prevent stealing and to prevent others from walking in on naked customers.
You like the way you see him take peeks, trying to be discreet. You like the way he keeps his hands in front of his lap, hiding that you’ve definitely made him a mess of him already. You love the way he whispers a curse to himself when you sit against the bench in this small room and spread your legs wide open.
You bet he loves the skirt you’re wearing for him today too. Though this wasn’t exactly planned or anything, you didn’t expect to be this turned on upon seeing him act as desperate as he sounds. You wore this shirt so he can look, and the skirt too…but looking this much wasn’t in your mind originally.
He’s hot though. The way he needs it is hot.
“Hurry up.” He groans, trying to make it seem like he’s frustrated but you know it’s just because he’s anxiously horny.
And, well, you’re not actually gonna show him your pussy, but at this point you feel bad because he seems really stiff right now, almost robotic in the way he likely feels uncomfortably aroused in his least favorite place.
“Jake,” You whisper-chuckle. “If you wanna see it, you’re gonna have to come in here and take my panties off of me.”
You hear him sigh, and see his eyes flick back to you through the small open space in the curtain.
“You’re insane. I can’t come in there, I’ll lose my job.” He argues with a hushed tone, eyes fixated on the very panties he wishes he could remove.
Even against his protests though, he reaches an arm in as he looks away. As if on extreme watch of other customers and employees roaming around. Probably pretending to grab a garment that doesn’t work for you, probably just doing normal, good-employee things.
And, well, it’s pathetic really, the way he hopes for more. The way you offer more knowing he can’t get exactly what he wants. You actually feel a bit bad for doing this, especially because it wasn’t entirely in the plan.
You really were just coming to meet him. It’s not your fault that watching him work turned you on solely because you know what he needs. So, you stand and walk towards the curtain, grabbing his arm and holding it in place.
“Well–” You start, pressing yourself against the backside of his fingers, feeling him move his hand slightly against your clit. “Touch it then.”
He goes entirely silent but you feel the way he fumbles his hand, immediately grabbing your panties and moving them to the side just to really feel. And you let him, finding it somehow cuter in the way he doesn’t even ask. He does it like he needs to, like it’s instinctual to touch it. He feels for a second or two, probably closer to about five seconds before you step back. Really, it’s enough for him to know you’re wet, enough for him to suffer, enough for him to want more.
Jake’s brain is on fire at it. Touching it before getting to see it? Goddamn, you’re so fucking mean.
And it’s silent for a few more moments after that as Jake keeps his hand in place, seemingly searching for a pussy just out of reach when you slide the fabric down your legs and place them directly into his hand.
“When do you get off work?” You ask slyly now, ripping the curtain open and moving his hand for him, forcing him to shove your panties in his pocket.
“Uh–” He stutters, swallowing again around his words before clearing his throat of the moan he really needs to let out right now. “Seven– I get off at seven.”
You nod with a smile, leaning in real close before patting his pocket.
“I’ll text you my address.”
And you leave without sparing him another glance, knowing that by the time his shift is over, he’ll probably pounce the second you open your door for him.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Jake suffers through the rest of his shift aggressively trying not to suck on his fingers. Fuck, he wants to taste you so bad, but to go as low as sucking the remnants for several hours just to hold him over? Truly, he’s at his wits end.
Mostly because he absolutely does suck his fingers any chance he gets. Tapping his lips with them as he sees a customer off, licking against them discreetly, trying to make it look normal for him to have his fingers in his mouth so consistently.
It’s not doing anything to hold him over though.
He keeps glancing at the clock, and then at the message that reads your address. Just one more hour and he can leave. Just one more hour and he can bury his cock so deep into you that you’d never think twice about letting him do it again, and again, and again.
Oh god, really, he feels like he’s going insane as he checks out customer after customer. Every word they say somehow reminds him that he’s about to finally get laid again.
“Can you wrap this up for me?” One customer said to him, nodding to a set of candles.
Jake wishes you’d wrap him up in that pussy.
“Do you have this in a bigger size?” Another customer had said to him as they held up a plush sweater.
Jake doesn’t think you’d ever need a dick bigger than his. He’ll fill you up just right.
“69.99?!” One customer argues. “The sign said it was 30% off!”
Jake would sixty nine you all night long if you asked. He bets you taste sweet, you probably get really wet too.
And by the end of the night, rain pounding on the roof, his last customer unfortunately has to hear a low groan leave his throat at their comments. He’s very quick to cover it with a cough.
“Sorry for coming in right before you close, the rain is bad tonight and I forgot my umbrella, thank god you guys sell them! I didn’t mean to drip all over the floor like this, I hope you don’t have to stay late cleaning up my mess!”
“I didn’t mean to drip all over your floor like this” Replays in his head, over and over again. God, he’d make you drip. He hopes you drip all over the floor for him. He’d get on his knees and lick it right up, god.
He needs to leave. Right now.
“S’all good,” Jake shakes his head after the initial moan and cough cover, trying to remain casual. “It’s my job to clean it up, after all.” He smiles, his brain stuck on the feeling of how wet you were when he touched you. Shiiiit. “Have a good night, stay dry!”
And finally, Jake can close out his register and lock the doors. That, he does. Performing his end-of-night tasks at lightning speed with a cock throbbing so bad that he worries he might have to get off in his car before making it to your apartment. He genuinely needs to get off, especially knowing these pretty panties are in his pocket ready to be soaked in his cum.
He doesn’t though, no. He holds off, thrusting his hips up and against the inseam of his pants with every passing second as he drives. He’s practically writhing by the time he gets to your place. Honestly, he moans with each movement because he’s sensitive. It’s so, so fucking sensitive. Everything feels good, he could genuinely cum the second you open your door if he’s not careful.
Careful isn’t something Jake can be at this moment though, not when he lands a single knock at your door and you’re immediately opening it, looking at him with that same fucking evil smile you gave to him while he was at work.
He looks at you and instantly lets out a frustrated moan before stepping in without another word. You feel his hands grab you much harsher than you originally thought he would, but you let him as you laugh out in a nervous chuckle.
“Hello to you too.” You pat him on the back as his arms wrap around your middle. You hear him kick back against your door, slamming it shut before his lips hit your neck.
He isn’t talking but goddamn you can hear what he needs to say through the way he presses his lips against you. He’s rough with it, kissing all across your exposed skin before slipping his hand right between your legs from the back as if he doesn’t have to chase anymore.
You were going to jerk your hips back to make him chase, but his grip is too tight and he’s nearly lifting you off the floor entirely to get a feel. You were going to force him to look at you and the outfit you changed into for him, but again, he’s not having it, it seems. He moans when he moves his lips up and against yours, hot breath desperate and needy as he finally speaks.
“Did it turn you on to torture me like that?” He nearly growls against your lips. “Got me so fucking hard.”
You’re genuinely surprised with how he’s acting and talking. Then again, he’s desperate, that much is obvious if that monster bulge rubbing against your leg is anything to go by. Perhaps he may be desperate, but you guess that doesn’t always mean someone will end up submissive as a side effect.
“It did.” You smile against his lips, pushing yourself forward to try and plant your feet back on the ground, chasing the ability to gain control over him. “Did you like that?”
Jake nods before shaking his head, allowing you to push forward, loving the way your hands reach for him and run through his hair before tugging. He did like what you did, but it doesn’t change the fact that it was fucking torture to stand there at work like he wasn’t losing his mind.
“I’d like it more if we skip all the bullshit,” He starts, hand still attempting to reach the spot between your legs and lips landing at the corner of your mouth. “Could go all night.”
You nod to him, gripping his shirt and pulling him back to your living room couch and spinning him around, only to shove him back.
“Is that a promise?” You ask, looking at the lazy way he spreads his own legs and rests his head against your couch cushions, eyes staring straight at you and cock twitching in his pants. “You gonna fuck me all night?”
“Yeah–” He breathes as if he’s in disbelief, hand reaching between his legs just to grab himself and squeeze as his eyes trail your body. “You have no idea how bad I need this.”
“Show me then,” You nod your head to his length that’s hidden under his pants. “Let me watch you first.”
Jake groans, rolling his eyes back both out of frustration and arousal, but he does as you say. His palm feels better with you watching, at least. He doesn’t feel so numb to the pleasure with you promising your body to him, at least. He doesn’t mind proving his size to you by shoving his pants down to his thighs and presenting said neglected cock to you either.
It’s heavy, dark in color due to the blood that’s likely rushing throughout every inch of it. He feels sensitive to even the air in your living room as he twitches and aches to hear you talk again, to see you in front of him watching how he pleasures himself, wishing his hand is yours.
“You wanna watch?” He says in a low-rumbled voice, tracing his fingers along the head of his cock and seething out a breath through his now, bitten bottom lip. “Wanna know how tight I want you to feel?” He asks now, bold and in the heat of the moment. You watch him when he squeezes the base of his cock tightly, you can almost feel yourself choke at that alone.
“How wet you need to be to take it?” He continues, dragging his hand back and licking his palm before spitting into it.
The wetness against his hand is horrifyingly pornographic. So wet when he reaches back down to his length, allowing you to hear it squelch and slip with ease. His breath is hitched while he does it too, which nearly has you seeing him in tunnel vision.
“Yeah…” You tune into him entirely, swallowing around the lump in your throat and feeling yourself drip already. “I can’t imagine how good–” You cut yourself short to moan at the way his other hand holds his pants down while he jerks his hand up faster and faster. “Oh god, you’re–”
“Wanna see how fast I can cum just looking at you?” He continues, hand only moving faster and faster as his grip tightens more, shamelessly grunting proudly over how he could probably cum now if he wanted to. “I told you, I can go all night.”
You pause, because goddamn. You thought he would be embarrassing, pathetic, needy. You thought he would beg, plead, and cry. But…you feel like you’re the one who needs to do that. God, you’ve never seen a man so desperate to fuck yet be so powerful about it. As if he’s in your face whispering, “You’re gonna let me fuck you, right? You’re gonna love it too, right? You’re gonna let me use you to take care of this little problem of mine, right? It’s what you want, right?”
If he were to say those things to you right now, you’d nod without a doubt. But…he doesn’t. He simply looks at you now, heaving out broken moans that sound too sexy to be considered pathetic. His hips chase each movement of his hand and goddamn does he fuck his fist hard.
Your mind is spinning watching him, knowing that he’s probably going to fuck you twice as hard as he fucks himself. And it’s not surprising to you at least that you can feel your own clit swell and throb for touch too. You easily move your hand between your legs, standing right there in front of him, toying with yourself as if you don’t have the power to ask him to do it for you.
“Ah, fuck–” Jake groans, thrusting his hips up into his hand one last time before strings of his cum make a mess on his shirt. And it seems to go on forever too, spurt after spurt of it pumping out of him alongside his pretty moans and open-mouthed expression. You can feel your body react to him more than it ever has for anyone else, especially in the way….
“God–” You moan yourself now, watching him spread his legs and slouch more against your couch with a relieved sigh from his messy orgasm. But…his cock doesn’t soften. No, it stays stiff and heavy against his stomach, twitching and dribbling more and more of his cum out in little beads.
The proof of his issue is right here, he really can and probably will go all night. And you say nothing else to him after that. In fact, he wouldn’t be able to answer you if you did say something simply because you find yourself stepping up onto your own couch, resting your knees against the back of it, and gripping his hair.
Jake lets out a half-moan-half-hum, as expected, when he feels your hand drag his face under your skirt. You didn’t have to do that, but goddamn does he fucking love it. He loves how he can feel your knees buckle and force you to balance on the couch, loves how your cunt is just as needy as he feels, fucking adores the way you drip all over his tongue when he pushes your panties to the side and starts licking you up.
It’s the fact that he didn’t even have to ask you to put it in his face. The slight taste against his fingers all night at work is nothing compared to the way you drown him now. He needs to do this for you. Hell, he needs to do this for himself.
“Jesus,” You breathe, rolling your hips on his mouth. He’s truly eating you like his life depends on it. You can hear his muffled hums at the taste, you can feel his shoulder shake as he starts jerking off again, you can feel the way his tongue goes deeper and deeper, licking each clench of your walls, only to pull back and suck the wet from your panties in a deep breath.
He coos at it too, as if he’s in love with the moment, as if he truly can’t believe he’s finally got a pussy to lick. And he swallows each mouth full of your slick before muttering curses and promises against your swollen little bud.
“Please,” He moans, nipping and licking against you. “Been so long since I’ve eaten pussy, rub it on me- fuck-” he continues to babble, heat-of-the-moment-talk coming out as far more arousing than cringe if you listen hard through your ringing ears. “Come on,” He continues, now neglecting his own cock and gripping your ass with both hands, shoving you back and forth on his face in painfully slow and harsh grinds. “Come on, harder.”
As if you can function at all right now with how rough he is about trying to pleasure you? Fucking hell, the words ignite something in you as you pull back and away from him. For a split second, you see his blown out pupils and fucked up hair as he licks his lips and presents that shining lower-half of his face to you.
You don’t look for long though, no. Because you’re too busy pushing him to the side and forcing him to lay back on the couch instead. You resume your position afterwards, straddling the couch on either side of his head with your knees and planting your pulsing cunt right on his eager tongue.
“You’re too hot,” You moan, feeling his hands go straight back to your ass to force more of those harsh grinds against him. “If you could see yourself right now–” Your eyes roll back in pleasure as you feel his moaned out chuckle hit you right in the clit. It’s like he knows he makes you feel good, but does he really?
Does he truly understand how fucking good at this he is?
“God, if you could feel how good your tongue is–” You continue, now losing yourself in the heat of the moment, feeling his fingers nearly bruise your ass with the death-grip he has on you.
He nods his head in what little space he has as he spirals into heaven behind his eyes. The smell of you suffocates him, the taste of you drowns him, the weight of you is nothing short of sexy as hell. This is all he could ever want. A pretty girl using and abusing his face, much like he wants to do to you. But oh, there’s so, so much he wants to do after so long of having no one but himself.
Eat you out, finger fuck you, slide his cock down that pretty little moaning throat of yours, grip that hair and kiss those tits. God, he wants to do everything right now but he can’t bear to push this perfect clit off of his lips. He cannot fathom losing the taste of you and the way you clench around the tip of his tongue.
Oh fuck.
“Ahh- '' Jake moans open-mouthed against your clit as his brain hits a wall, his cock standing stiff from behind you as he spills out against himself again. Untouched completely, he cums without any effort where as previously it took him hours just to get off because he’d grown so fucking bored of everything.
You’ve ignited him. His drive is higher than it’s ever been after being neglected for so long. God, he wants to fuck you so full that you can’t bear to leave him.
“Fuck–” He continues, trying to lend licks between his jerking body to keep your arousal peaked. “See how bad I need it?”
He finally manages to pull back, feeling you lift from his face just for a moment after noting the way his entire body is shaking. He’s not having it though, as he cranes his neck in chase of your dripping hole once more.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He adds now, enveloping his lips around your clit again and using both hands to force you right back down on his face.
There, you feel the way he almost passionately makes out with your pussy. As if he’s thanking you for a second orgasm within the past ten minutes. As if he truly can’t stop wanting to fuck something, someone, anything at all.
Goddamn, what a fucking deal. All hail the hook-up app that brought this insatiable sex beast to your apartment.
“Jake–” You start, grinding down for him and feeling his hands now move to rub up and down your back. “Keep your tongue in me.” You choke out, gripping his hair to hold his face in place as you sit his tongue inside of you, short and jerky thrusts forward to bump your clit against his nose.
He’s gotten off twice now, it’s your turn.
And you watch as he drops his arms from you and grips your outer legs through it, letting you use his face until he can’t breathe. Both of you are seeing stars through it, your orgasm bubbling up so quickly that you can barely warn him when your hips halt in a stiffened clench and he’s finishing the job for you.
Your legs squeeze around his head, your fingers pull his hair, and still he manages to find the space to tilt his chin up just to tongue-fuck you deeper, just to rub his nose harshly against your clit, up until he feels your quivering pussy spill all over his chin, down his throat, stealing any breath or moan he could possibly give right now.
You’re out of breath by the time you finally slide off of his face, your hands immediately shooting to both of his cheeks as your sensitive clit drags down his stomach for the easy position change. You wince when you lick against his lips at the sensitivity, being sure to seat yourself right against his cock.
“Hah–” Jake lends a breathy laugh against the way you lick his lips, his hands going right back to your ass and landing a sharp slap to it. “Couldn’t even get our clothes off first.”
You take a second to pull back and look at him, noting the redness against his cheeks and nose, likely from your panties consistently getting in his way and then you chuckle back at him. You’re thankful for the short break the two of you seem to be taking at the moment. Still, you lift up from him just to remove your shirt, exposing your tits in an instant solely because you didn’t wear a bra for this exact purpose.
He’s still hard, despite two orgasms. You feel him rubbing it against you every few seconds, right up against your saliva and cum-soaked panties which, mind you, are insanely uncomfortable right now. It feels as if they’re slicing through your thigh with the force of how Jake managed to keep them shoved out of his way.
“Just lay back,” You smile at him, allowing him a longer rest for now as you take it upon yourself to remove the barriers. “Let me take care of you now.”
Jake has hearts in his eyes as he watches you. Normally, a girl would already be falling asleep after all that, leaving him with not enough orgasms and no actual fucking. It’s not his fault he could do foreplay for upwards of three to four hours before going for the finale. Which, arguably, can and will last several hours longer.
Still, you appear to not be finished either, with your breathless smile and gentle hands. He bites his bottom lip through a smirk as he watches you, tits on full display to keep him satiated for now as you move around on the couch to get his pants off of him. He helps a bit with a little kick, his cock still so sensitive and pathetically weeping for more. He feels lucky to have found you, almost baffled that he may have met his match.
You lend several glances at his cock, not quite realizing the way he’s blinking at you right now. To be fair, it’s only natural to have your attention on that thing right now. You swallow around your nervousness regarding the size but equally want him to fuck you senseless with it. You already feel entirely fucked out, but…that. Oh, that could change your life, probably. You can imagine he won’t be as gentle as you expected before all of this too. Would probably shove it in all in one go and lose his mind at the feeling.
He’s probably going to split you open and make it feel good for you too. Somehow.
Anyway, enough of that. You’ve still got to get his shirt off, your uncomfortable skirt and panties too.
You make quick work of it, as you stand to your feet and expose yourself entirely to him. Jake just watches, humming and moaning at each new expanse of skin you show to him. He keeps his hands to himself though, likely so used to feeling of them that they’d bring no pleasure at this moment if he were to jerk off to you doing this. And you just…look right back at him.
“Come on,” You smile at him again, lending your hand out for him to grab. “Bedroom will be more comfortable.”
Right. Bedrooms exist.
Jake follows, cock heavy and sensitive against his thigh with each step as he tries to get up close behind you. His eyes stay on your ass as you walk in front of him, and it’s not hard for him to keep his hands on it. In fact, he’s touching you as often as he can, trying to remind himself that he’s with someone right now who actually wants him.
You seem to be willing to let him do what he needs tonight, and hopefully it won’t be the only time.
You feel him on you, clinging so closely, hands constantly groping, lips always trying to reach the back of your neck and shoulders, to the point it’s actually difficult to get to your bedroom because you want nothing more than to turn around and shove him against the wall, all to try and take him into your mouth just to see if you can.
He doesn’t really let you think about that for too long though, because the second you get to your bedroom, he’s grabbing you from behind and lifting you in his strong arms. You writhe in his grasp with playful giggles, feeling the strong hold he has on you, keeping you in place against him as he stumbles forward with a deep inhale into your neck.
He’s quick to make his way to your bed, dropping you onto it, flipping you over onto your back, and immediately slotting himself between your legs. He hovers over you for a minute, looking directly into your eyes as his hair falls forward.
Somehow, you’re more focused on his face than you are of his cock that he’s sliding up and down your core right now. You reach up to his hair, brushing it out of his face and feeling the sticky sweat at his scalp.
“Could eat you out again.” Jake mentions, hips thrusting against you but eyes calm and level with yours. “Could lock me up in here and just use me all day if you want.” He continues, partially being serious about it, but treating it as if it’s some kinky joke instead.
Because let’s be honest. If there’s any job Jake could do better than anyone else, it’s be a woman’s fuck toy. Always ready to go, always stiff and horny, always willing to please.
“Could slide in right now and let you feel how hard I am.” His voice gets breathier as he talks, and you can tell he’s just imagining everything he wants to do. He probably worries he’ll have to go home at some point tonight only to resume his search for potential fucks to keep his need satiated.
He probably thinks he’s going to exhaust you.
“Could let you do all of that and more.” You respond, lifting your hips just slightly to press his cock between your bodies, throwing your legs around his waist simultaneously with the way you wrap your arms around his neck. “You want me to lock you up in here?”
Jake nods with a sigh, squeezing his eyes shut as if he can imagine it.
“Do you work tomorrow?”
He shakes his head with another sigh, focusing on the way you keep humping up against his length, sliding yourself in whatever way you can against him.
“Maybe I’ll just have to do that then.”
Oh, damn.
The heart eyes are back. The very thought of being in this room all night and all day tomorrow drives his cock to pulse and twitch. Foreplay can come whenever, fucking can come whenever, he can cum whenever. There’s no need for a to-do list. No need for a specific structure of rules on how this needs to happen. Foreplay, sex, sleep. Not with Jake.
Sex. foreplay. sex. foreplay. for hours. He’ll keep you up all night if he can, fucking and sucking every part of you, into the morning hours straight into tomorrow night.
Free use with you from now until you’re tired of him. You can do anything you want to him but for now…
“Yeah?” Jake breathes out in excitement, arching his back slightly to let his cock land against your hole, and then he pushes forward slowly. The bulbous head spreads your lips and stretches out your slick pussy with ease as he continues to speak. “Feel that?”
Your eyes flutter shut at the sensation, fingernails already digging into his shoulders at the anticipation as your legs loosen around him. He continues to push forward, inch by inch, painfully slow as if he wants you to feel the burn and stretch even while being as wet as you are.
“Ah–” He confirms for himself as he watches your face, wincing, mouth falling open. “Yeah, you feel it.”
God, yeah. You do. You feel the weight of his size inside of you, stretching you open so good he probably wouldn’t even have to move for it to hurt. But he does move, he does continue to slide in, savoring every second of your walls quivering and suffocating his cock.
“Goddamn,” He groans, lifting up on both arms and bracing himself as he looks down, only to find he’s only slid half of his dick into you, and already you’re about as breathless as he is. “Didn’t realize how tight you’d actually be–”
He chokes when he says it, sliding out little by little before fucking back in, pushing just a bit more into you.
“S’okay.” You try to reassure him, but it’s more for you than it is for him. You really didn’t think a cock could feel so big that it actually hurts, yet, here you are. “I’m adjusting.”
Jake moans at your broken voice, no longer holding himself back to look at your pussy grip him when he pulls out slightly. He looks at your face instead, witnessing how you take all of it in one solid movement from him. All of it, until he can feel his pelvis rest against your clit and your entire body stiffens in a tight hug around his body.
“Mhm,” He leans back down now, humming against your cheek as he tries to control the urge to fuck. “Taking all of it, aren’t you?”
With those words, he slides out slightly before pushing back in again, trying to force your pussy to relax so that he can stop holding his breath. One hand finds its way to your leg to hold onto, the other holding himself up beside your head, and he just…watches.
Little by little, he thrusts. Plunging into you in short-tight snaps of his hips just to watch your tits jiggle with the movements, up until he really, really can’t hold back anymore.
You feel his cock leave you almost entirely, only to slam right back in and cause your vision to go white with a pang of pleasure. Your loud yelp pairs well with his relieved sigh of a grunt, and it appears that this is what breaks him entirely.
That single, full thrust, lets him fall forward and nuzzle his nose against your neck and his body just goes. Instinctually chasing the deepest parts inside of you, hitting your cervix with each thrust only to drag back and make your toes go numb at the way your g-spot feels entirely too sensitive with this alone.
And god, Jake loves the way you cling through it. The way you moan each time he bottoms out, the way your nails cut into his back and the way your legs continuously fail to stay wrapped around him. He…
Oh no.
“I can go all night–” He breathes out through his relentless thrusts, almost as if he’s pleading with you. “I swear, I’m not done–” He continues to cut off his own words with choked moans as he pulls back and leans up, frantically forgetting to apologize over the fact that he’s already about to cum again.
And you feel him try to slide out, that face he made twice before already alerting you that he really must have so much to pump out of himself at this point. You don’t mind if he’s about to hit a third orgasm, in fact, you’re glad.
Your legs hold him in place as he fights to pull out, his eyes snapping to you in realization after the second time he tries.
“No fucking way, you– you want it?” His eyebrows fall into that of a relieved release as he, too, falls right back down against your chest and lets his hips fuck freely.
He’s not controlling it at this point. You feel him stretch you open more through his orgasm, rolling his hips but not pulling out even in the slightest now. Moving back and forth, as if trying to stuff you impossibly full while he releases those thick ropes of cum. It…feels so good even with the way the base of his cock continues to swirl and loosen you up in a painful stretch that almost feels like he’s ripping you open. Still, the pain is gone as he shakes on top of you, in fact, you feel your clit throb at the feeling of how big he is, of how hard he manages to stay.
He didn’t even fuck you that roughly before this, but it feels like you’re already ruined. Ruined enough to want more. Enough to need more.
“Bet that feels good,” You chuckle against his hair, feeling each pulse of him and loving the way he pants against your ear. “Not having to pull out, knowing you can fuck me for as long as you want.”
That only pushes his orgasm to hit harder. He thought he was nearing the end of it, but instead, his body goes into overdrive as more pulses of cum shoot out of him at your words. There’s so…so much of it he can give you. And if this is what you want, he’s the perfect man to do it for you.
“Don’t say that, oh god–” Jake mumbles through the end of his orgasm, keeping himself tucked nice and deep into you as he releases his body weight and makes you feel slightly suffocated under him. “Please.”
Well, he minds his manners well enough, you shrug under him, clenching around his length unintentionally and reminding him that you genuinely can go all night, just like him.
Reminding him that maybe you really will just lock him up in this room all tonight, all tomorrow. He seems into the idea anyway, right? Both of you just free-use sex dolls for the time being…Hell yeah.
And as Jake catches his breath, he finally lifts up, pulling you with him, and sits you directly on his lap now.
“Keep going then, don’t let it get soft.” He nearly whimpers, solely due to the sensitivity his cock is now offering and the fact that after that third orgasm, he truly is gaining the ability to go flaccid between orgasms.
And you follow his direction, though not entirely how he wanted you to. Instead of rolling your hips, you slip him right out of you and sink your face down between his legs, loving the way his cum spills out of you all the while. You don’t even say anything, not that you’d need to. He watches you, a smirk forming on his lips as he raises an arm and throws it over his eyes.
“Shit, You’re so my type.” He groans out of the sexual frustration that still bubbles within him. You look so good down there with his cock just inches from your mouth. God, no woman has been able to go down on him for too long despite really fucking wishing they would.
His hips always lose control, they don’t like face fucking, he’s too big to fit, they’re gagging too much, their jaw is hurting. What the fuck ever. Look at you, blinking up at him like you want nothing more in the world than to take it all down your throat. Ah, fuck, if you did that…
His hips buck up on instinct, forcing you to hold him down with your arms as you lick your lips.
“You really live up to your promise, you know that?” You smile with warmed cheeks as you speak, blowing air gently against the head of his cock. It’s softened up a little, but it’s no longer going flaccid. You’re sure that the second you work it into your mouth, he’s going to be blocking your airways.
Good.
“You say that like I’m not overwhelming you with all of this,” He chuckles as he moves his arm from his face and down to yours. “Most girls would have already sent me home.”
You circle your lips around the bulbous head, tasting the remnants of both you and him as you gently suckle before popping off and licking your lips.
“Well, Jake–” You look back down and lend his cock a little kiss. “I’m not most girls. Besides, most guys get their nut and leave me hanging. You’ve gotten, what? Three orgasms by now? And you’re still in my bed? Wanting me to lock you up tomorrow too? What a fucking win.”
Jake rolls his eyes because you don’t even know the fucking half of it. If he were a normal guy, he probably would have done the same thing. Maybe not to you, but to others? Yeah. The thing is, he’s not like most guys. And you’re right in saying you’re not like most girls either, considering…your sex drive appears to be just as insatiable as his.
“Fuck, let me eat you out again–” Jake groans now, needing to pleasure you again, aroused by the fact that he’s basically met a female version of himself. Even if he’s just exaggerating and making himself believe such a woman could exist close enough to him. “Let me– Ahh…”
You cut off his words, dragging a loud and sensual moan from him as you sink down. Mostly to shut him up, mostly so you can return the favor for him from earlier before letting him have another lick of you. After all, you truly do appreciate him for all of this.
“Mmf–” You mumble unintentionally, feeling each inch of his length that you swallow up pressing your tongue further and further down in your mouth. Up until you’re entirely open mouthed on him, gagging yourself when he hits your throat only to angle yourself up on your knees to point it straight down your throat instead.
It hurts, but you close your eyes in concentration, breathing through each gag, ignoring the dribble of saliva that runs from the corners of your mouth and– you swallow.
Mostly because you can’t suck. Again and again, you swallow around him just to stimulate his length, the girth stretching your lips out to the point you feel your jaw could break, but it doesn’t and it won’t.
Within an instant of taking his whole length down your throat, you feel his hands in your hair. Your ears are ringing, otherwise you would also be listening to him choke on his words at how you’re doing this to him. All of it. You’re taking him in full, not leaving an inch out, seemingly proving that your mouth can be fucked just as good as your cunt.
He’s in heaven, head spinning as you stimulate him through each gag and sputtered out chokes of a moan. He can’t help it when he grabs your hair, he really doesn’t mean it when he pushes your head down while pressing his hips up. Essentially choking you and suffocating you in full with a paused hold.
You brace yourself on his hips when he does this, squeezing your eyes shut and continuously gagging from the way he abuses your mouth with just that small movement, and then– he pulls back.
“Ahh,” He groans, snapping his hips back and holding you by the hair to keep you from chasing. “You like that?” He continues, letting you breathe but not answer at all before he’s pushing your head right back down, holding you there again and fucking his hips up repeatedly into your throat this time.
The sounds are pornographic at best, concerning at worst. You, searching for air somewhere between his thrusts, the sounds of wet sputters, drooling, whimpered groans from him, and desperate gasps and gags from you. Truly, Jake is in heaven right now. With you, specifically, you’ve brought him to heaven.
For you, it feels like he does this forever. You’re losing the ability to comprehend what breathing ever was in the first place, thankfully though, Jake can see the tears pouring from your eyes and feel the way you fall slightly limp, letting him do as he pleases before he realizes– he may actually be overwhelming you now.
He snaps his hips back quickly, pulling you up and off of the last remaining inches of his weeping cock before taking a good, long look at your gasped breath and abused lips. Tongue licking out and eyes stained.
“I’m sorry, fuck, I–”
Instantly you press yourself down on him once again, resuming your original position of sliding him in until you can’t stand the feeling in your throat, gagging and swallowing around him time and time again. You feel proud of it, proud of the pain, proud of the suffocation.
Fucking proud to not be finished with him compared to every other person, apparently.
“Jesus–” He groans now, his entire body slouching against your bed as he slams his head back and starts petting your cheeks. “It’s like you were born for this. For me.”
You hum around the gags, growing accustomed to swallowing him up and feeling your jaw strain. And just a few moments later, you pull up with a deep breath, a smile, and you start rubbing your jaw.
“Maybe I was,” You try to talk dirty, wanting to drive him insane. “You taste so good.” You add, dipping down again to lick a long stripe up the underside of his balls up to his tip. “Any girl should be proud to say you’d fuck her mouth like that.”
A twitch, he rolls his eyes back and clenches his jaw.
“How are you so…” He breathes out, reaching his hands blindly for you, only to feel you shift on the bed and essentially sit your tits into both of his hands. “perfect?”
You shrug when he opens his eyes, you’re now hovering over him, both hands covering his on your tits as you force him to squeeze and grope.
“Maybe it’s best to not ask questions.” You tilt your head playfully. “Besides, if I’m lucky maybe you’ll stop trying to find other girls to fuck. They can’t take care of you like I will, anyway.”
Oh, you damn fucking right they won’t.
“You can have it any time you want.” Jake smiles, relishing in your tits warming under his palms, watching the way you hover over him tall and proud on your knees. “Could play with you every day and never get bored.”
You feel him move his hand from under yours, going straight between your legs and sliding not two, but three fingers into you with ease.
“Still so wet too,” He hums, eyes narrowing at you with that same pretty grin. “You always this horny?”
You shake your head.
“Not usually, you just turn me on.”
Jake feels proud of that. He doesn’t feel like the odd ball with a dick that can’t be satiated no matter how many pussies he plows through in a night. Which, again, for the past year has been a total of zero pussy. You getting turned on by that makes him feel…capable. Makes him feel like maybe he can be put to use by a pretty girl.
Makes him feel like his need is wanted and well taken care of.
“So, I can keep calling you?” He asks now, fucking his fingers up, loving the warmth and slide, anticipating for when he gets to bury his cock in you again.
“Mhm.” You hum, closing your eyes to enjoy the pleasure of how deep even his fingers reach. Kind of ready for him to stop talking and just focus on what he’s doing to you.
“Even if it’s every single day?” He continues to ask, now using his thumb against your clit. “Even if I need you in the middle of the night?”
Anything he wants if he can keep hitting your g-spot like this.
“Yes, Jake,” You sigh out of aroused frustration, now wiggling your hips to chase that stimulation inside of you. “I’ll give you the fucking key to my apartment if you want. Just let you walk right in and start fucking me.”
His fingers move faster at the image, the implication of not just free-use, but true free use. Real free-use.
“Yeah? Wake you up with my cock sliding into you?” He urges you to keep talking, now removing his other hand from your chest and circling it around his cock. “Just walk right in and get my mouth on you while all your friends are here?”
You lend a surprised chuckle, but pay no mind to his words past the arousal it brings to you. You’d tell him about how you have a total of like two friends, and half of the time they’re too busy to show up anyway. Still, the image is hot at the moment. All of it is hot.
“You’d let me?” He continues pressing every button both physically and mentally, unaware of how easy it is for him to talk as if it’s a normal conversation solely because it’s kind of his general state of living at this point. You, on the other hand, are not used to having a full conversation while your g-spot gets abused. “Even if you’re not home? Let you come home and find me fucking myself for you?”
Oh.
“Fuck–” You groan out at the image, feeling his fingers reach so perfectly, thinking of how it would feel to walk into your apartment just to see this pretty man chasing that tight ring of fingers his fist creates. Probably so turned on and frustrated that you’re not home…so frustrated that all he could do is drop to the floor and start fucking. “God, yeah.”
So that’s what you’re into. You love that he’s that pathetic to fuck. And lucky for you, he’s more than willing to continue to be that fucking pathetic.
“Does that feel good?” He hums now, watching how you fuck yourself against his fingers, lifting slightly to lick against your nipple. “Can I use my cock again?” He babbles almost, brain on constant loop of you actually giving him free reign of your apartment someday so he can come and–”Please, do this on my cock.”
This is the second time he’s asked you to ride it, and you think that may be one time too many. You almost feel guilty for taking him down your throat first, but then again, you don’t. Your body vibrates knowing you’re about to split yourself open on him again, only this time having full control.
“You want me to sit on it, Jake?” You smile, thrusting your hips down and sinking his fingers into you so deep that you physically can see his brain malfunction.
The frantic nod he gives is somehow less powerful than how he lifts his hips, forcing you higher on your knees as his fingers slip out of you and immediately land in his mouth.
Man, this guy must love the taste of pussy. The image of him doing that alone is insanely arousing to you as you lend him a short nod and slide back, your pussy sucking in the head of his cock instantly as if the two of you move together so well, that it was only natural to not need a guiding hand for it.
He sinks his head deep into the mattress with the way you try to sink down on him. He holds his breath with those same fingers in his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut at how tight you still are, how wet you still are.
And he’s shocked, almost, at the way you just keep sliding down. Not letting yourself re-adjust to his size, holding your own breath and bracing yourself on his abdomen just to keep balance and you wince through the stretch.
“That’s it.” Jake soothes your hips as you sit, clenching around each one of his twitches inside of you. “Doing so good.” He breathes out this time, trying to hold back his moan just for a moment as he awaits your moan first.
And it comes quickly when you lean back rather than against him, arms by his knees as you practically present his cock to him buried entirely into you with this position. He lifts his head and stares at it before reaching his thumb to your clit, immediately pressing hard circles against it.
“Ride it,” He pleads now. “God, please ride it.” He loses his mind at the image, really, as you do start moving.
Pained whimpers falling from your lips as you circle your hips, fucking just an inch of him in and out of yourself, forcing the deepest part of your pussy to take the abuse more than anything else. And you know he loves it with the way his thumb stops rubbing your clit, with the way he can’t decide on if he should look or throw his head back and fall into the sensation.
It’s really cute to witness, and you’d lean forward to kiss him if you had the strength to do it, but you don’t. In fact, all the strength you have is currently bubbling up inside of you with a sharp, almost burning sensation.
You know exactly what this is. You’ve practiced it time and time again alone in this bed.
“Oh, oh shit, Jake–” You groan as you frantically start moving your hips through the full and splitting feeling of him inside of you. Your voice sounds so panicked, it almost scares him. And honestly? Had he not have finger fucked you against your g-spot previously perhaps you could last longer on him, but no.
“What– What’s wrong?!” Jake’s voice is broken when he quickly leans up, hugging around you as you continue to ride against him, faster now, chasing, chasing, chasing.
Pushing, pushing, pushing.
“No, no!” You moan out, shoving him back against the bed and now lifting entirely from his length before slapping your own clit, fast, rough circled motions before each slap. “Oh, shit!” You nearly yell, witnessing it squirt from your body straight against his abdomen and chest.
Jake just watches, mouth agape and eyes wide.
“Oh–” He stares. “Oh yeah?”
And you’re not even done when he seemingly takes full control. Allowing all that squirt to fall out of you, ignoring your shaking legs, tipping you straight back and plunging his cock right back into that release of pressure inside of you.
“You just weren’t gonna tell me you could do that?” He grunts against your ear, fucking into you so hard and so fast that your orgasm just keeps coming. It feels too good to speak, too good to breathe.
Even as it subsides and you’re trying to catch your breath, he doesn’t let you. He just keeps going, grunting incoherently against your ear, snapping his hips harder than you think he’s probably ever done before.
Honestly, with each yelp you let out, your sensitivity goes from being unbearably painful to–
“Do it again–” He urges you. “Give me another one.” Babbling, cooing, fucking moaning all over your neck until his lips hit yours.
Somehow, that gives him exactly what he wants as he feels your legs tense up and fall open around him. Your pelvis slamming into his so hard that it’s, quite literally, splashing out of you in loud and painful sounds.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He nods and whispers against your tongue, sucking it into his mouth before licking into yours, nearly rabid with the way he’s both kissing and fucking you, he can’t help it. He forgot words the second he felt the gush rush past his length, trying to force it out of you only for him to go harder. Like hell he’s not going to feel you literally squirt on his cock. “So fucking messy.”
At one point, you think you might have actually died. You’re not sure but you swear you saw him fucking you in third person for two solid seconds before being slammed right back into your body. The pleasure genuinely is so overwhelming that…well, suddenly you understand why girls probably think he’s too much.
But goddamn he’s…so good. Like, you remember him mentioning his body count through his one-sided sext session with you and you can argue his inexperience probably made this that much better. He’s a fucking natural.
And as he continues fucking into you, all you can do is lend him a distant smile. You’re definitely not experiencing real life at this moment, and you know he sees it with the way he lifts and keeps his eyes on your zoned out expression.
“Look at you.” He echoes against your walls. “So, so pretty.”
And he just keeps doing that, whispering praises, working you through his presumed last orgasm of the night because he genuinely can’t not fill you up with his cum one last time before letting you rest.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The rest didn’t last long, but to be fair you didn’t need it to. All night, and all day. That promise was kept and Jake remained insatiable throughout all the time he spent with you.
To the point you very nearly felt strange about him leaving. Like you’d grown so accustomed to having someone literally attached to you at the dick that you knew the loneliness and silence would hit you a little too hard once he leaves.
And, well, he does leave in a sense, but not completely.
Though you never truly meant that offer in the midst of sex-talk, Jake seemed to have clinged to the idea of it. Lock him up, but still give him the key.
Never in your life would have imagined giving a person the key to your apartment, and yet…there he goes. Backing out of a guest parking spot in front of your building with your spare fucking apartment key in his pocket right next to those fucking panties.
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What the hell is a "cue es em pee"
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🦈 kocwillrock 🔁 philza
🏳️⚧️ wanna-flippa Seguir
MY& P4PA: WH@T D0' #)W3 S4Y WHE;N WE SE3 TH*E H@TER5??,?(
$M'E: D1$LIK€ 4ND #-_UNS+UBSCR/_1BE
M#Y PAP@:; # HEL,L YE4,H!;!!!$!!
*.*W3 BOT,H,, B@CKF''L1P 4WA_-Y"__*+&
🪹 philza
@backflipo-numero-uno please stop impersonating your dead daughter on fucking tumblr and get therapy
🦠 backflipo-numero-uno Seguir
NO LISTEN ITS REALLY HER THIS TIME I SWEAR
🪹 philza
I'm reporting you for your own good m8
🪹 philza
and also because you don't tag the months-old interactions with mariana you keep reblogging and I don't wanna see that shit on my dash lmao
🦈 kocwillrock Seguir
damn slime your dead daughter knows how to write a banger post
1,010 notas
💣 federation-sanitation-unofficial 🔁 im-the-orb-theyre-always-pondering
💣 2b-or-not-2b
Finally finished the enchants on my scythe. Going to test this shit on a dungeon run will update
⚠️ pactriggerwarning Seguir
you can come over and test it on me instead if i'm closer. like not in a weird way you can just hit me and I'll tell you how close I am to dying, how much blood I've lost etc
💣 im-the-orb-theyre-always-pondering
fuck okay- pac I've been meaning to talk to you about this. Listen.
💣 federation-sanitation-unofficial
you have. . . tendencies
4 notas
🔎 cellbo 🔁 peterparkoier
⚪ qsmp-census-bureau ☑️ Seguir
I hope you enjoy the island.
cellbit-deactivated19358
FUCK YOU
🐦 its-nice-to-miku Seguir
wait cellbit is this why your old blog got deleted lmao???
🔎 cellbo
shut up
🔎 cellbo
I hear you typing guapito don't you fucking dare
🥵 peterparkoier Seguir
NO MAMES
🔎 cellbo
GOD DAMN IT
201 notas
🌸 bagi-the-vegan 🔁 bagi-the-vegan
🌸 bagi-the-vegan
this island is so weird why did people seriously consider the disgusting green egg as a presidential candidate
🌸 bagi-the-vegan
Nevermind gegg is my son now
692 notas
🌸 bagi-the-vegan 🔁 gegg
🇧🇷 gegg Seguir
what we need is not government it is true union between the people
121.193 notas
🌸 bagi-the-vegan 🔁 gegg
🇧🇷 gegg Seguir
yo soy brazil. nosotros somos brazil. We Are Gegg.
992 notas
🌸 bagi-the-vegan 🔁 gegg
🇧🇷 gegg Seguir
the sun is a false god but a true threat
238.816 notas
🌸 bagi-the-vegan 🔁 gegg
🇧🇷 gegg Seguir
gegg
- gegg
1.1 millón notas
🪹 philza 🔁 philza
⚪ qsmp-census-bureau Seguir
I hope you enjoy the island.
etoiles-deactivated2884
dark metal when
etoiles-deactivated2884
dark metal when
etoiles-deactivated2884
dark metal when
etoiles-deactivated2884
dark metal when
elotes-deactivated1191866
dark metal when
elotes-deactivated1191866
dark metal when
elotes-deactivated1191866
dark metal when
etwall-deactivated92701
dark metal when
etwall-deactivated92701
dark metal when
🔰 etoyless
guys I cant believe it they are introducing dark metal soon its not a lie the admins really said so because otherwise it means they hate me GG woooo good fight i dont have to cry anymore!! well played!!
🪹 philza
etoiles you are going to get banned again stop provoking the feds
🔰 etoyless
you are right philza because you are the best ok i am never going to spam them again
🪹 philza
Good job I'm proud of you GGs
🪹 philza
ETOILES
69 notas
🔰 etoyless 🔁 etoyless
🔰 etoyless
@01101110011101010110110001101100 FIGHT ME
🔰 etoyless
@01101110011101010110110001101100 FIGHT ME
🔰 etoyless
@01101110011101010110110001101100 FIGHT ME
🔰 etoyless
@01101110011101010110110001101100 FIGHT ME
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m beloved coco ! dis is the previously promised askie ( a few daiz later than i expected but . . wateviez ) omgoosh last saturdai i went on a picnic wif two of m fwenz ! ! ! ‘twas vrie vrie fun aaaaa we went 2 da park n one of them brought lil’ cream cheese + cucumber sandwiches n fruit salad n ! ! homemade brownies ! ! n da other one brought teas n croissants n i brought asian pears :3 n it was rllie sunnie too ヾ꒰ྀི *ˊᵕˋ ꒱ྀིﾉ n then last wk it went back to da usual clouds n hint of rain lulul but we were vrie lucky 2 say hellooo to mr sun ! n theeeeennn we went to a bookstore n i got a new book ( *kafka on the shore* by haruki murakami :33 i probs wn’t be readin’ it vrie soon but yam super excited to read murakami again waaaa i hope i still like his writin’ hehe )
n yisyis i hv seen arlecchino’s animation leaks ! ! ! she is so !^%&^)#3&# are u considering pulling 4 her ? n tankuuu for da pull luck (*´꒳`*) . . sweetest girl . . . mi ? ! ? ! ૮꒰ྀི⊃⸝ ⸝ ⸝⊂꒱ྀིა n i too hope u cn get back into hsr later ( only if u wnna , ofc ) ! m vrie proud of u for knowing urself n deleting da app <3 i kno dis cn b quite hard for miself lulul
n’ coco ! u ! uuu ! ! ! da most darlingest loveliest girl of all time i alwyz luv chatting wif u hehe . . m heart beats more happily bcos of u ! ! yakno ? sometimes u write such sweet wrds 2 mi . . . i often find mself preserving these bits of love in m secret treasure chest to revisit wen m doubting mself or yearning more than usual ❤︎ ໒꒰ྀི⸝⸝ɞ̴̶̷ . ɞ̴̶̷⸝⸝꒱ྀི১ so tkuu 4 being a light in m life ! i lob u wif m whole heart ! my whole everything ! kissies for coco ♡♡♡ — 🌷 ( i hope ur hiatus is treatin u well bbie . . iluuuu ! ! ! )
sweetness ! ! hehe i must say that actually i Do enjoy this litl lag . . buffer time between when u send mii an askie n when i response — it feels like we're sending each other snail mail in real time ! ! ૮꒰ྀི ⸝⸝ ≍⩊≍⸝⸝ ꒱ྀིა . . 's like . . . letting m'self marinate in ur luvf for a while u knoooo :3 tehe
but but but ! ! omgosh ur picnic sounds like so much fun ! ! ! 🥺 n wif those finger sammies . . cream cheese n cucumber is a vrie yamz combo hehe , i wub putting a teensie drizzle of tabasco on it too for some spice ! it sounds like u had a restful + eventful week — im so happie to hear it bbie ! ! ! n murakami omgie ! ive heard mostly good things about his work ,, i hv a copy of norwegian wood dat has been collecting dustbwunnies n spiderwebs over the past few years ive owned it . . o_0 . . . i'll get around to reading it whenever u get around to reading kafka on the shore ! n then we cn read together ♡♡ how lovely ! !
re :: hsr . . u say u r proud of me for deleting the app but wat if i told u i am dwis close 🤏🏽 to downloading it again . . &*(#)$^&%*) not now but when boothill's banner runs ! ! iiiii . i perhaps rllie like him a lot :< but as a fwiend ! he is so fwiend - shaped in m mind i dunno how to describe it . . . he reminds mi of itto in some ways , maybe this is why ><;;
n rosebuuuuud . . omg u r going 2 make mii cry w ur kind words ! ! rllie ! 🥺🥺 i am a true believer of like attracts like , n im so happie my soul has founds its way to the beauty of yours ! ! getting love letters from u like this alwys makes m heart smile so so big , n it is such a great privilege n even greater honour to know ur sweetness bbie . gals 4 life ! ! ! 🤍🌷🎀
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The hate i have for society hurts me. My private pictures got leaked on some site made fir perverts snd pedophiles. Yet when i grow up ill be the one who was a slut. Ill be turned down jobs because im indecent while this boy who I don't even know gets to walk around scot free. Gets to live his life to the fullest. Feel proud of himself, have a family have children. Yet im fucking scared to tell anyone who knows me about whats happened incase they see me differently. How is it fair. Why am i to blame? Why am i not the victim? Why is my life ruined by the actions of a stranger? He doesn't even know my name. Or my age. Or even where im from. Im so sick of people. Im sick of something always going wrong when im getting better. Im sick of being sick. I m crying and i hate crying. Im ranting and i hate ranting. I hate this. Life is supposed to be beautiful. Im supposed to be young and wild. Enjoying my stupid teenage years, yet i cant even do that. Whats the point?
I can't even eat without feeling sick. I cant even text anyone without feeling dirty. Like im tainting them. I swear everyone i talk to i ruin somehow. Either im too quiet, too loud. Too nice, too mean. Too dry or too energetic. For once in my life I want to be fine. To be told that im actually doing okay. That it doesn't matter what anyone thinks because im allowed to be me.
I don't even know who i am. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle with all the pieces but no one to put them together. Like ive be given up on so many times. Everyone taking a piece of me as a souvenir. Sometimes i wonder if ill ever feel whole or complete.
Sometimes i wonder what i was made for. Not in the sense of a greater good or a passion, but in the sense of am i meant to be suffering or am i just failing. Was i menat to be the loud and reusable friend? Am i meant to wait to be wanted and sought after? Do i just sit her and fester in my misery?
Because if that's so i cant do it. Im tired of putting in the effort and not getting anywhere. Always falling two steps back. Always falling behind.
For once in my life let me be in peace. To thrive in my happiness. I swear i was getting better. I swear. Im trying. Im trying as hard as i can. I just.
I think im gonna delete tumblr for a while as well. To be honest i might disappear. And thats okay. Because in the end you'll move on. Youll find new moots, better moots. You won't even remember me and my silly little asks. And thats fine. So goodbye for a while. Who knows maybe ill see you again.
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hands behind your head ; c.bg
<<something like a part 2-ish of hotel antic but can be read separately>>
summary : your criminal bf pays you a visit
pairing : criminal!beomgyu x police!reader (established relationship)
warnings & other : smut, oral m receiving, some choking bc ofc there’s choking, handcuffs are involved, slight exhibitionism(?), mild language, weird foreplay..., this is a VERY old draft, posted a long time ago but deleted but here it is again!, wasn't too proud of this one but its kinda cute-ish so enjoy, posting old drafts, sorry in advance
w/c : 1.7k
you slammed your notepad on the desk in front of you and groaned looking outside at the vast darkness of your town. unfortunately, you were not a rock, paper, scissors connoisseur thus losing against your coworkers. here you were doing the closing shift when you could be home cuddling with your boyfriend or partying your stress away with them.
you still haven't acquired the promotion from police detective to private investigator yet but you've been doing small tasks at your precinct to show that you are in fact capable. of course, being scolded by your head chief for not arresting beomgyu that one time didn't help your chances.
but it's ok, your boyfriend made it up to you that night.
you sigh, fiddling with the pen in your hands. you look up at the clock and see that it's only 12 am. 5 more hours to go.
you can only imagine the stress reliever your co-workers are going through at the bar right now. that could've been you if you had thrown rock instead of paper. you felt cold and alone being the only one in the precinct but everyone trusted you'd be fine since you are a trained officer.
you figure you should stop sulking and get some work done for now. getting up, you pick up the notepad once again to update the missing person log.
before you can get far you hear the familiar click of a gun directly behind you. "am i seriously being robbed in my own police station?" you think to yourself. you mentally curse remembering how your own self-defense gun was in the drawer of the desk you just got up from.
"hands behind your head," says the perpetrator. you don't turn around to look at them but nevertheless, comply. what good would not listening to someone with a gun to your head do? you stay calm, moving your hands behind your head.
even in this situation, you think you might look silly since you're still holding the notepad and pen. "on the ground," the person demands. the person pushes the gun into your scalp but not roughly. you sigh and lower yourself to kneel on the ground.
you hear rustling and suddenly you're being hugged tightly from behind, "hey baby." beomgyu places his chin on your shoulder to look at you from behind. you turn your head to look at him and roll your eyes. "seriously gyu? i thought i was being mugged! what kind of fucked up foreplay is this."
"im stealing your heart," he smiles smugly, getting up. "plus, you look good in this position..." he eyes you up and down and bites his lip since you're still in the position he told you to get in.
"shut up!" you go to lower your hands and he grabs them. "wait baby, i came here because i thought something was wrong since you haven't come home yet but i think i have a new motive." he moves to stand in front of you and you already know what he's implying.
"im not sucking you off at my job beomgyu," you deadpan. he pouts, removing his hands from yours. "even though i came all this way to check if you were ok? do you even care about me? ah, my baby is too mean to me."
you roll your eyes, "no one told you to come here." he raises his eyebrows at you, "oh ok so what im hearing is you want me to leave?" he walks away slowly towards the entrance which is definitely not where he came in from. you stand up quickly and run to grab his hand. "don't leave me asshole, don't you see im alone," you whine.
he turns around, smiling at you, "so you want me here after all?" he brings you to your desk and leans back on it, bringing you into his embrace. "wanna tell me what you're doing here all alone? do i gotta kill someone hm?" he teases. you know he's joking but if you actually gave him some names you know you wouldn't see them the next day.
you look up at him, resting your chin on his chest. "i lost rock, paper, scissors." he tries to hide his laughter but fails. "i wasn't expecting that one," he sighs after his laughing fit. "oh well, at least you're here with me right?" he leans down so that he's whispering in your ear, "you can suck my cock now."
"you weren't even thinking of getting sucked off until after you made me get on the ground!" you scoff pushing him away. he grabs a hold of your hands so that you don't go far from him. you try to pull away from him, "did you actually come here to check up on me?" you mumble dejectedly. he sucks his teeth and pulls you back into him. "don't be like that jagi you know i care about you," he pouts.
he leans down to peck your lips but lingers there a little longer. he breathes out deciding to go in for more. you whine as he kisses you rougher with each second. he must've really not wanted you to doubt him. he pulls away briefly eyeing your half lidded gaze directed at his lips. "take that picture of me down," he frowns suddenly. "huh?" you pant.
what the fuck was he talking about? you ignore him, already addicted to his lips you go back for more but he shakes head. "look there's a wanted picture of me right over there!" he points somewhere behind you and when you (reluctantly) turn around sure enough there's a poster of him displayed on the "wanted" wall.
you groan punching his arm playfully, "what the hell do you want me to do about that! you're a criminal and this is a police station god what do you expect."
he chuckles, "kidding, you'll never see me in cuffs baby." he kisses your cheek tenderly then moves to your lips once again. you both make out for a couple more minutes so that you can ensure that beomgyu is immersed in the kiss. when he's distracted enough you take your handcuffs from their place in your back pocket and cuff his hands together. he pulls away quickly and you just laugh.
"ah jagi what's this?" he smiles but you can see the confusion written all over his face. "i finally caught you," you smirk. you look around for the gun he has carrying and pick it up to slide it back into his front pocket. you do so slowly enough to catch him shiver. "you're so cute," he says with grit teeth as he struggles against the cuffs.
"stop struggling, i heard it makes them hurt more," you say sinking to your knees. he watches you adjust yourself in front of him and he suddenly gets giddy, forgetting about his hands being cuffed. "if you were gonna suck me off anyways what was with the fit you threw earlier? just you being a brat huh?" he chuckles. you smile up at him, "its fun."
"it's fun? should i teach you s-" he cuts himself off when he goes to grab you but can't because of the cuffs. "my baby is so smart," he suddenly praises, switching his tone. you shake your head at his change. you bring his pants and boxers down at the same time to get on with it. he stays silent, watching you kitten lap at his cock which is already coated in precum. "quit teasing jagi," he grunts.
you pull away, raising an eyebrow at him, "what are you gonna do about it?" his eyes go wide at your response and he tries to grab your hair to bring your head closer to his dick but fails. "uncuff me baby," he pleads. you ignore him, instead going back to teasing him. after a couple of grunts and whines from him you decide to go for it, satisfied with the noises you're hearing. "you're s-so good," he pants. "mm 'wanna touch you."
you bob your head back and forth with a purpose, not giving into his pleads. "s-shit," he mumbles. the noises you both are making join together and it's effective enough for him to get him to his high. "baby im-" you hollow out your cheeks and continue to suck a little harder. he lets out a string of incoherent curses as he shoots his cum in your mouth.
you choke a little at the suddenness but take as much of it as you can. beomgyu licks his lips as some of it dribbles down your chin.
he slouches back on your desk, panting heavily and bringing his pants back up as best as he can. he glances down at you again to see you wiping your mouth and chin silently. you hear the cuffs clank on your desk and look up to see beomgyu jingling them impatiently. "someone get me outta here my partner is crazy!" he yells with whatever leftover energy he has. you roll your eyes, taking out the keys and uncuffing him.
he quickly goes to grab your neck, effectively lifting you up from the ground. you gasp seeing as you were already out of breath from having his dick down your throat. "you're so cute when you think you can do whatever you want but that's ok i just have to discipline you more hm? i don't want you pulling a stunt like that ever again," he smiles looking down at your lips. you nod quickly. he kisses you for the nth time today then breaks away to rub his wrists. "that was torture," he whines. "all i wanna do is touch you now!"
"you gonna stay with me until my shift ends?" you ask him casually. he sits in your chair and you follow sitting on his lap comfortably. "of course i will, someone's gotta clear their names from the files." he kisses your forehead when you get comfortable in his embrace. you seriously think he fell asleep but he suddenly sits up after a while.
"wait aren't there cameras in here?"
#beomgyu fluff#beomgyu scenarios#beomgyu drabbles#beomgyu imagines#beomgyu imagine#tomorrow x together imagines#txt imagines#txt scenarios#txt reactions#drabble#fluff#txt headcannons#choi beomgyu#txt smut#smut#beomgyu smut
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episode 209 spoilers below
I'm so late today but here it is
I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.
Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.
LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"
ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times
SEBLOS
damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋
CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!
we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.
old old movies-
is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-
i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards
aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls
(please ignore me)
y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her
ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.
so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them
do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....
speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄
big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that
I can't-
i won't work you over the break-
this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.
YES GINA USE THAT CHARM
QUEEN
FRENCH QUEEN
SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)
smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.
The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"
I love them your honour.
EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE
great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.
finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell
the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn
no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-
Ricky is me. I am burrito.
oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it
is that even the same lady or-
THE BEAN
THE CHICAGO BEAN
THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭
jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.
"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."
SO MANY CANDLES
WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-
is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-
Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.
EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽♀️)
oh not the tiktok kid✋
yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career
sir take a hint and leave
GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER
Ricky, walking in style✨
weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?
not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more
RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-
YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-
PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF
ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad
still don't know if I like Jack honestly
hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.
that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time
the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-
anyways wbk she's not totally straight
Jack are you a criminal?
quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker
THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN
the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now
stole her grandma's Pomeranian-
Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-
the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though
anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?
wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?
wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED
the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭
sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...
take that as you will
I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off
that's the most realistic part of this show tbh
shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...
Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...
KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS
I hate school
ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩
I never lie, except when I do-
son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"
2 truths and a lie👀
he's an Ariana fan 100%
called it.
OLDER BROTHER-
WHAT-
free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie
so has she been kissed or not?????????
I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly
but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn
same though Gina so let's be besties please
heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn
but wait
is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???
guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme
THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT
IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S
OMG I LOVE I LOVE
NOT THAT I KNOW OF???
ma'am did you just kill me
yes you did
Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship
YES IT DID SUCK
TODD SUCKS
LYNNE SUCKS
yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME
right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-
Richard needs a long hug
yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.
YES DYE YOUR HAIR
BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN
"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."
gotta admit I teared up at that point
not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-
Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?
also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg
"don't ask me"
"Carlos"
OMG WHAT HAPPENED
big red wants the tea
O M G
SEB IS JEALOUS
JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC
I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh
So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right
EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there
"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.
jealous seb = sassy seb
please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb
6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM
Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍
I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.
Jack please dont be like that, "yet"
chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰
(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)
Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least
Nini: "im good"
cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif
oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second
1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around
2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???
ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ
*chefs kiss*
now everyone shut up, EJ's singing
oh i think I'm pregnant
HIS MUSCLES
YES KOURTNEY
I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots
sebby makes me so happy
props to biggies editing skills honestly
PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT
AND SEBLOS OMG
big red lives for the drama
"wow" so true Ricky
no he is not cute, stop it
"holding" ok that's kinda cute
yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌
jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-
keep in touch if you want
ok I really like Jack now
if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?
like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?
I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold
Ricky's breaking my heart
that song just hurts
the only thing
now I don't hate Lynne????????
HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER
UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER
I mean I don't live her now but she's good
but honestly
"mom can I show you something"
IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL
THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG
I'm sobbing please help
Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???
ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there
her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.
this episode was great.
it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.
Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj
#hsmtmts#hsmtmts s2#hsmtmts season 2#hsmtmts spoilers#ej caswell#ricky bowen#gina porter#seblos#nini salazar roberts#jack hsmtmts#carlos rodriguez#seb mathew smith#kourtney greene#big red#ashlyn caswell#caswell cousins#portwell will be the death of me#guac's episode text blocks :)
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'M not sure this us the new thing you added cause im regretfully as observant as a damn pickle but, is it the pronouns xe/star? If I didn't notice them before, I truly apologize, if not, then I just wanted to tell you that I'm really happy that you feel comfortable enough to share this with us zuzu^^ star is a really cool pronoun ahh and it fits you so well, you're such a warm and bright person.
You're like astronomy books and pictures taken on film and photochemical reactions *cries in synesthesia and chem major,,, how do I explain myself,,, uhhh*
Also ahhh, you don't have to answer this (especially publicly on the blog and if I made you uncomfortable im really sorry and please delete this altogether).
Juust sent this here cause well,, im better at asks than dms and again, just saying again that im really happy that you feel comfortable with sharing things about yourself, I'm proud of you zuzu for being yourself! (I know this doesn't really mean anything from someone likee me, but you gotta know that people are proud of you^^).
I hope you have/had a great day zuzu
-Hecate
no no that's part of the new thing!! xe and star are two of my favorite neopronouns to use, and i kinda don't ask people to use them because i feel like it's an inconvenience.. but no, i'm not uncomfortable at all!
actually, on the topic of neos, i also really like cloud! star, cloud, xe, fae... those are my Big Faves :D i'm happy you noticed !! and thank you :( it does mean a lot, especially from you, a person i consider to be a friend ♡♡♡
but!! that wasn't the only new thing! oh boy ,,, i'm not uncomfortable with this at all, but i'm a lot more shy than i was when i first did it..
but i made an instagram and well ..
it's linked in there now! you're free to take a peek if you'd like, but it's my way of saying that i am Very Much Comfortable with the people here because really, everything about this blog is my safe space... and its my way of building confidence soooo yeah!!
im gonna go hide again actually %*×;#£@;#,#*#
#z box#IDK WHY IM SO NERVOUS ABOUT IT SUDDENLY#IM NOT SCARED OR UNCOMFY JUST#LOST MY SPINE LM A OOKFJSJDN
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i lose braincells every time i read some fan account engage with china political rhetoricXidols. please think critically ndjksafjksdl
usually its only a light sprinkling of shit but its especially a flaming pile of shit today with so many large brands coming out with statements about xinjiang cotton/uyghur forced labour. tl'dr on the issue is that a bunch of large companies said we dont support xinjiang cotton, and in turn a whole laundry list of celebrities and idols which have contracts with them or are some level of representative for the brand, have come out with statements to cut ties with these companies. (so far...nike / puma / adidas / calvin klein / converse / h&m / uniqlo / tommy hilfiger / new balance. lmao but im sure there will be more -_-)
fans just spout endless bullshit about being proud of their idols for coming out with statements + getting all defensive cause of the hate that their celebrities/idols are receiving on chinese platforms + rt chinese propaganda media outlets proudly touting the cutting of ties with these brands. and then to add on to the dogpile are some accounts which claim some kind of cultural leverage also pile on to make it increasingly political and push more chinese nationalistic rhetoric.
nfsldkjdlask its just frustrating because i fucking hate nationalism and patriotism. (i genuinely avoid watching a lot of modern cdramas because inevitably somewhere in the script there will be an emphasis for loving 'my country'). and especially the china variety because the rhetoric is so alive in my daily fucking life. especially in this case because the fandom aspect is my usual relaxation escape + the companies and branding aspect also affects my work since i work with a few of these brands + political chinese govt discourse just happening every day here in good ol hk = every aspect of my day.
side note 1: ppl talking about being so proud of their idols for making statements and cutting ties. tbh your idol probably fucking hated it.
cause it costs them a fuck ton of money to cut contracts like that
they probably really liked that brand or else they wouldnt of partnered and becoming an official representative
these arent small brands so they'll have to put away/throw away any products they own or wear
they'll have to delete any associations with these brands on all sns
if they didnt do all of the above they would not only be blackballed in the industry but also blackballed in the whole fucking country and demonized for something out of their control..which leads me to my second point
side note 2: the amount of tweets ive seen saying 'oh man no one forced them to make these posts so stop with the western propoganda'...fuck u man. they didnt really have a choice
sure the government didnt come knocking on their door and forcing their fingers to press post. but its not fucking about that. its about the structural system built into current modern society where every bit of ur life is inherently political and a representation of the national message.
i dont give a shit about whether or not the celebrities agree or not because we wont ever fucking know.
the more famous you are the larger the pressure for you to be a 'face' for chinese soft power so inevitably you'll have to fall in line with the nationalistic rhetoric
side note 3: there are regular normal ppl who work in these brands that now are facing a nightmare situation where their jobs are fucked. if this ends up really going to shit, these brands will have to pull out of the chinese market and those peoples jobs and livelihoods are gone.
side note 4: this issue was originally about human rights but here we are....
im also just ranting cause i had to overtime at work dealing with the fallout of this issue and then right when i got off work i was also flooded with this shit
#its just me ranting under the cut#lmao u can ignore#just leaving this here cause i have nowhere else to complain about this#joyce voice
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animatic ideas :0 (ramble away, i would love to hear them!!)
mk thank you for enabling me, i will now be yelling
anyway
this is gonna be so obnoxiously long i am so sorry
can you add read more's on asks? eeeekkkk because this got so damn long lmao
mild dsmp spoilers obviously
this is the playlist, by the way
-im sorry boris (wilbur soot)
i think it would work really well with mmm slightly post lmanburg niki. andby slightly i mean. well when she leaves (that is the whole thing of the song gdfjkhgsdf) also side note at like 1 minute 11 on that song theres a discord notification really subtly in the background and it makes me paranoid every time i hear it. anyway god its such a nice song. even for just like. the end of lmanburg. not necesarily paired with a character, just the sense of leaving a place that was so highly populated before it got blown up twice and was like. the main part of the smp. yeah. anyway also the lines "they'll knock down the pubs before helping you...they'll let you jump under trains before helping you" yeah those four lines have big niki vibes but also i think the song could work well with exile tommy or actually even with the finale when tubbo is about to sacrifice himself? mmmmm yeah
-this is home (cavetown)
mmmm got exile tommy vibes innit. a lot of these have exile tommy vibes tbf i just like sad songs and also exile tommy. plus the song has a lot of like. the message is sort of like. changing yourself to appeal to others? like with "ill cut my hair to make you stare" but also the repeated thing of "ill figure out a way to get us out of here" which is clearly the main character of the song trying to help everyone when they are clearly not in a good way themself. yeah thats got big tommy vibes in general tbh but more like. pre finale tommy. i think he got a bit more independant after that.
-soldier poet king (the oh hellos)
ok this is self explanatory and has been done to death already but d a m n its kinda funky. anyway i had thoughts and actually started this but then lost motivation and deleted it all lmaooo. the only proof of its existance is a shitty storyboard in my draw which will hopefully never see the light of day again (unless anyone wants to see it :eyes:) anyway i had the thought of like. sbi? so soldier techno poet wilbur and king tommy. but tbf tommy and techno are kinda interchangeable with that, cos while techno is obviously the better fighter, tommy is used a lot, especially in lmanberg era and also i think he probably will be now that wilburs back
-pyjama pants (cavetown)
ok so i honestly dont remember why this is on the playlist but tbf this could go well with a bunch of characters. thinking like. phil and wilbur? or wil and tommy, or tubbo and ranboo are two that like. i know for a fact that i did not put the song on the playlist specifically for them but god thinking about it now it works so well with them
-boys will be bugs (cavetown)
OH BOY THERES A LOT OF CAVETOWN ON HERE HUH (i feel like that probably says something about me but shhhhhh we dont need to talk about that) ANYWAY
I think this could probably work really well with tommy? because of the whole like. trying really hard to come across as not caring about others, but really being like. very vunerable. but at the same time it could go really well with wilbur for the same reasons. also the song fucks ok cant deny it. to be fair i think it works better with tommy, because he's younger and also he really likes bugs (unless i am mistaken) which is just a cool coincidence but still)
-brother (kodaline)
FUCKKKKKKKKKKK THIS WORKS SO WELL WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS AND IS ALSO ***SO ANGSTY*** WHAT
anyway
i added it because of tommy and tubbo because holy shit, but also it could work very very well with wilbur and tommy, techno and wilbur, probably techno and tommy, and oh my god i just thought of this but this would work so well with phil and techno!!!! but yeah i originally thought tommy and tubbo because i thought it was a funny coincidence with exile tommy waking up underwater, and theres a line that says "if you were drowned at sea, id give you my lungs so you could breathe" and like. just thinking about the compasses especially. me gusta.
-feel better (penelope scott)
fundy. that is all.
no ok this works well with fundy but also probably karl sapnap and quackity, and also very much wilbur, like it works well with both. just mainly fundy idk why its got big fundy vibes tho. very poggers.
-as the world caves in (matt maltese)
ok but like this goes very very well with the explosions of lamberg. either of them. i think probably the first one is better, but i think it goes well with both. probably the first one, because it was way more emotional i think? cos it was the first time that their homes had been destroyed and everything, but also because it was so personal, because wilbur was the one who did it. i think that also it would work well if it was set during the explosion but also focussed on different facets? so like. one bit about wilburs perspective, one bit about tommys, one about phils, one about fundys maybe? idk just a bunch of lmaburg citizens' povs for this. its good. as the world caves in is a song that can be so gender tbh.
-do you hear the people sing? (les mis)
obvious obvious obvious...... but like..... also tbh it goes well with a bunch of things. like, mmmmm wilbur in pogtopia. the butcher army. lmaburg independance war (obviously ghdskj) but yeah. also this song just goes so hard like b r u h
-wolf in sheeps clothing (set it off, william beckett)
SO MANY OF THESE ARE LIKE. PRETTY OBVIOUS IF YOUVE HEARD THE SONG
but yeah. it would go so well with like. well any betrayal basically. so eret, from tommys pov maybe, or about wilbur from nikis pov, or wilbur from anyone pov tbf, or quackity from charlie/purpled/foolish/sams pov, or sam from tommys pov, really it works well with so many people which says a lot about the characters tbh but shhhhhhhhhhhh
-need you here (idkhow)
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
mk mk mk mk FUNDY AND WILBUR THO
like b r u h that works so well with them
also i started this one as well but didnt like it, theres a story board in my draw as well for it because like. oh my god its such a good idea i just am shit at animating and don't have a decent enough program :')
also also
the line "daddy has to go, and that makes me sad, but daddy will always come back, he promised" fuckkkkkk that works so well with like. say for example, idk, when they're celebrating schlatts death and wilbur leaves to press the button? the sheer fucking angst of that is enough to kill any one person istg that is in fact the entire reason why i started the animatic in the first place. just that line. also all the lines sung by the child voice. fuckin angsty as hell. also ust generally a banging song, as is every idkhow song
-green (cavetown)
another cavetown song huh. ok sure.
mk so wilbur and sally and fundy. like. for a start, the imagry of a fish at the start? boom sally.
anyway the lines "you looked so good in green, i hope you're well, and you look so good with him, (schlatt ig?) and I'm proud of you still (wilburrrr and fundyyyy) i miss your perfect teeth, i was too blunt, i hope you feel happy, that's all I want"
FUCKKKK
the whole song is about missing someone you used to love and only hoping the best for them!!!! and wishing that they are happy and safe!!!!!!!!!!! and hoping they still think about you!!!!! but even if they dont its fine because all you want is for them to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-achilles come down (gang of youths)
OK I THOUGHT IT COULDNT GET ANGSTIER
so like. tw suicide but thats what the entire song is about and bing bang boom i just think it works so so so so so so so well with not only exile tommy (who obviously did try to kill himself) but also wilbur in a slightly more metaphorical way? so like. his self destructive habits leading him to a point where he had no choice other than to kill himself and to take his country down with him. and its all about other characters trying to help them and persuade them not to but also near the end there is a second voice trying to persuade them to go along with it, which im thinking like. if its wilbur, either dream or maybe just himself. his own brain persuading him to continue down the path that would inevitably lead to his and his countries destruction. also it works well with schlatt for the same reasons, except he doesnt want to die. maybe (since the song is so goddamn long) like. one verse for tommy one for wilbur and one for schlatt? dead gang poggg but also like. the verses cover fairly different things which work with one character but not so much the others, for example the first verse would be tommy because its mainly about persuading the person to not kill themself (which tommy did himself but shhh) the second for schlatt because its literally about drinking and smoking away your problems, and the third for wilbur since its more of a fight between the "good" and the "bad" sides, which is obviously what wilbur was experiencing. also obviously i have a soft spot for this song because its string instruments and french, basically my favourite combination ever (also i like his voice idfk lmao)
ANYWAY THATS ALL THE SONGS ON THERE SO FAR
i literally thought of another song while i was in the shower today but i dont remember which it was but a n y w a y the playlist will most definitely be getting longer, especially since there are so many more songs that are good for this but i just havent added them yet lmao. anyway ive been writing this for like an hour gsdfjhgdhfsg but still oh my god this was fun to write
#long post#tw suicide#only a mention at the end but still gotta be safe :)#dsmp#dreamsmp#dsmp animatics#robin talks#ask#thank you so much for the ask tho cos like. i dont wanna be annoying or anything? but also like. i really wanted to talk about this gsdfkjg#god i hope the read more worked or this is gonna be annoying to everyone ever#its fine probably maybe not really
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standard exploit (m)
➾ pairing: reader x kim taehyung
➾ word count: 2.7k
➾ genre: smut, pwp but what’s new tbh, ceo’s son!au
➾ warnings: explicit sex, choking (breath play), degradation, fingering, overstimulation, unprotected sex, dirty talk, mild drinking of alcohol,
➾ summary: your plan to get info on the scandal surrounding a big company goes differently than planned when you meet the ceo’s son
➾ a/n: um this fic got deleted for some reason so im reposting!! pls don’t let this flop my dudes // side note: i in no way am trying to say that journalists sleep with who they are reporting on to get information,, I am sure they are all hard-working individuals who are respectful and considerate. This is just my mind being dirty and looking for anything to make even the slightest bit of a plotline
You pretty much had one goal in mind; get the information you came for and get out of there; as a journalist, you didn’t want anyone to know your approach and get the information before you. You didn’t want to come off as a scouter for information, because Mr. Kim, who was celebrating the 10th anniversary of his company tonight, would obviously not tell you anything. If you acted innocent, like you were just at the grand ballroom of his mansion for a good time, he wouldn’t think twice about opening his mouth and spilling what you so desperately needed.
Your editor was keen on you getting this information but wasn’t as excited about the methods you planned on using to get it. You had been working as partners for years, and he knew your ways, but although he knew that ethically, it wasn’t professional, it got the job done. He often just turns a blind eye at how you get the information from the source. After all, that’s why your organization is the most renowned in news; you break the stories that need to be told. With the flow of your words, you made empires and monopolies fall, just because you understood how men in power worked.
The dress code was simple: formal, but professional. You put on a simple, pretty black dress that was short but long enough to leave some to the imagination, high black pumps and some pretty red lingerie. To top off the sultry look you were going for, you painted on a deep, blood-red liquid lip, as you peered in your bathroom mirror, blotting your lips with a tissue, you decide to make things a little risky for the night. Maybe you should forego the bra today.
You had a professional invite to the event, due to your position at the notable newspaper. You entered the elegant ballroom, lavishly decorated, and began to blend into the crowd. Men in charge of multi-billion dollar companies are easy to seduce, and you knew that you could easily get the information you needed with the bat of your eyes.
You spotted the CEO, Mr. Kim, talking a young man, who was looking rather bored you might add, that you’ve never seen before. He was stunning, with perfect facial features and a great build. Perhaps rather than getting what you need from a middle-aged man, you could get to know the handsome man better. Killing two birds with one stone.
Perhaps you were staring, because he suddenly turned away from the conversation with the CEO and locked eyes with you. You immediately looked away, cursing to yourself as you didn’t want to seem too obvious in your intentions.
You made your way to an empty standing table and looked back to see the same man walking towards you, two glasses of champagne in hand.
“No bra? Not very professional if you ask me.”
You looked down, shocked that he could tell so easily, but once you saw your nipples were hard and visible under the dark dress, you shook your head, laughing at yourself. “Formal dresses these days make it difficult to wear a bra with them,” was all you responded.
“Fair enough. I’m not complaining.” He held one glass of champagne out for you as he began to sip on the other, but you took the one that was against his mouth for yourself. He raised an eyebrow at you, “The other one wasn’t drugged, I promise. I’m Taehyung by the way.”
“A woman can never be too safe,” you shrugged. “I’m Y/N; nice to meet you. So, I saw you talking to Mr. Kim, the man of the night.”
“Ugh, don’t praise him like that. My father is not half the man the media builds him up to me.”
His father is Mr. Kim? You knew he had a son your age but you didn’t expect him to be this handsome. However, thinking about it, they do have similar features. There are many striking similarities.
You tried to hide your excitement; this is exactly what you wanted. “Not a very proud son, huh?”
“That’s one way to look at it,” he shook his head. “I should probably stay quiet about it though, or else I’ll get banned from coming to events like these. I can’t miss out on the drinks.” He downed half the glass. “No, but really, I’m only here for him to look like a wholesome family man, nothing else.”
You were slightly shocked how easily he was spilling his opinion on his father. Was he already drunk? You really didn’t expect things to go this easily.
You were pulled from your thoughts when he cleared his throat. “Don’t act so innocent. I know who you are and what you do.” You widened your eyes, slightly taken aback. You opened your mouth to defend yourself when he spoke again. “You’re Y/N Y/L/N. You flirt and seduce men to get them to spill information about their companies and end up destroying their career, but I seem to be the only person who knows that. Or, people don’t want to admit they so easily fell for your feminine wiles and told you everything you needed to know.” You felt your face get red and look away. You feel his hand on your jaw, making you look directly at him.
“Don’t worry. I’m not judging. In fact, I would love it if you would get your latest story about my father by working with me,” he raised his eyebrows and smirked at you, accentuating the word, giving it a double meaning.
You grinned up at him. “Oh really? You know, once I publish the story, his career will be ruined. I’m able to do that easily. My name is very reputable. And I’m sure I can do more than just work with you,” you teased back.
“I know. I don’t approve of his methods. The way he profits off of others is despicable. He’s rude and inconsiderate towards anyone who he sees as below him; I’ve tried to get him to step down countless times.” His hand trailed up your arm, “And this way, I get to spend a night with a gorgeous woman and expose how he cheats all of his clients and workers without getting my hands dirty. As long as you don’t mention my name in the article, I’d say we have a pretty good deal; I saw the way you were staring at me. I’m sure you want me to have my way with you, don’t you?”
“You read my mind. But, I think we can save the business side of things for tomorrow, what do you say?”
His hand, firmly planted on the small of your back, led you up the stairs and through a long hallway. No words were spoken as he led you to the room at the end of the hall; you don’t wait more than a second before you turned on the lights and put your hands on his collar and are pulling him towards you. His large hands grope your ass and he backs you into the room until your legs hit the bed and you fall back. You grin up at his figure standing above you as his hands roam your body; slowly, his lips are lowered to yours as he wraps his arms around your waist. Taehyung has one hand grasping your waist while the other slowly moves up to your chest, to your throat.
He only touches the skin lightly, let you moan and reach for his wrist; covering his fingers with yours, you squeeze his hand over your throat as you gasp, “Choke me.”
He curses as he does as you ask, closing his fingers around your throat while he pushes up the skirt of your dress. “Tsk, tsk. You’ve soaked yourself, huh? You’re a little whore aren’t you?” He doesn’t expect an answer as he takes two fingers from his free hand and rubs the wet spot on your soiled panties. You whimper as he plunges his fingers basically inside of you while ruining your fine lace lingerie. You feel your hips rut up against his fingers, but he stands in between your legs and presses his thighs into yours, keeping you pinned to the bed.
You feel the desperate need to have his fingers inside of you and without words, you are begging him to take off your panties and finger fuck you mercilessly. Your eyes meet with his and you just know he can see the desperation in your eyes; with you rutting your hips up, trying to get any sort of friction, he smirks down at you.
“Such a needy little slut. But don’t worry, I’ll give you what you want,” he leaned down to press his lips onto yours, sliding his tongue between his lips as his hand pulled the panties down your legs. You felt one finger probe at your core, swirling around to gather your wetness; he applied just enough pressure to get you going without any relief.
You whimpered into his mouth as he dipped the tip of his finger inside you. You tried to rut up into his hand to get more of his finger but he held you down. He broke the kiss, “Be patient baby… I don’t want to rush this. I want to have you under me for as long as possible.” You frowned up at him but you were obedient in his wishes, doing just what he wanted to please him. “That’s my good girl,” he smirked as his eyes bore into yours.
He pushed his finger into you completely and massaged your walls, making you groan in pleasure. “Such a good fucking girl,” he murmured as he slipped another finger in.
“Oh, fuck!” You gasped out and sat up straight on the bed from the sudden rush of pleasure as his fingers pounded into you. You felt yourself getting wetter and wetter with each flick of his wrist, your pussy getting warmer and more swollen by the second.
“You like that? You like when my fingers fill up your cunt?” All you could do was nod as you pulled his face to yours and kissed him. He grinned down at you as he pulled away, making you whine. “I wanna hear you say it.”
“I love it, I love it when you fuck my pussy with your fingers. Please, don’t stop.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” he smirked at you as he slowed down his pace, looking for your g spot. When your hips twitch up, he knows he found it. He focused on that one spot and kept thrusting into it.
You felt the heat build up in your stomach and you knew you were getting close. You felt the hand that was placed on your hip move down to your clit, which he began to rub in slow circles, making you cum immediately. Your legs began to shake as you arched your back, cumming on his fingers.
“Mmm, Taehyung, fuck. You make me feel so good.” You pulled away from his fingers and sat up on the bed, scooting back to have your back against the headboard. “I want my pussy to be overflowing with your cum.” You spread your legs wide for him, giving him the perfect view of your pussy.
“So needy,” Taehyung chuckled, undoing his dress pants and stripping naked in front of you. His hard cock was gigantic, up against his abs as you could visibly see two huge veins go along the length. You licked your licks and took the same opportunity to pull your dress over your head and toss it into the pile of clothes.
He crawled onto the bed and spit onto your sopping cunt, making your pussy even more wet. He began to position himself in front of your entrance before slowly beginning to push into you. You gasp as you feel his dick sink into you. The head of his cock stretched you deliciously, then the rest of his length sank into you slowly. It was when he was halfway in that you began to feel the marvelous burn as his long and thick cock stretched your walls.
He feels you tense up as he gets deeper; you weren’t expecting him to be that big. “Hmm, you’re doing so well baby girl, taking my cock perfectly. You’re so wet, I’m sliding right in. That’s it.”
Once he bottomed out your felt your muscles relax, as his hips pressed into yours, his cock buried deep into your womb. You don’t think you’ve felt anything so deep before. Taehyung let out a groan as your walls squeezed around him.
Taehyung pulled back almost completely until just the head of his dick was still inside you. He slammed into you, his hips snapping roughly until he was balls deep. You whimpered at the sharpness of his thrust, but that didn’t stop him. He continued pounding into you, pulling out most of the way before ramming back in. You were glad that you were flat on your back because there was no way your arms or legs could support his harsh actions.
“Mm, fuck, I’m so deep. You feel so good. My little cockslut,” his sentences were short and gruff as he didn’t let up on his pace. “Such a good whore,” he growls as his tightened his grip on your waist.
“Your sopping cunt is still so tight, fuck.” He places his hand on your stomach where he sees this cock bulging, “You can barely handle me. If I go any harder I might tear you in half.”
“I can take whatever you give me,” you mutter, but barely able to open your eyes due to the amount of pleasure you are receiving.
“I doubt that baby. You can barely breathe correctly,” Taehyung pants, ramming into you, “I’ll fuck you so, so good baby. You’re gonna cum and soak my dick like a needy bitch.”
“Yes, please use me, oh my god,” your eyes are squeezed shut, your voice rising in volume as you feel your orgasm approaching.
“Hm, you like being used? Like a bitch in heat?”
“Yes, please fuck me, I’m so close. Please, don’t stop,” you beg, trying to focus on the way his cock feels inside of you, brushing against your g spot.
Taehyung didn’t need to be told twice, as his hand moved down to your clit, rubbing in so perfectly that you were sobbing. “That’s right, cum all over my cock. Let everyone downstairs know who is fucking you, who’s cockslut you are,” he was commanding as his hips rammed into yours deliberately rough to match his words.
You felt the pleasure in your stomach boil over, as the most powerful orgasm you’ve ever felt washed over your whole body. You’re in complete bliss until you feel Taehyung going even harder, continuing to thrust into you and rub your clit.
You whine, feeling tears form, “I’m too sensitive. I can’t.”
“You can and you will.” His lips lowered to your ear, “You feel so good cumming on my cock, I want you to milk my dick until you’re sobbing like the cockslut you are. Can you cum again baby girl? For me?”
The only thing you can do is nod, letting him pound into you and rub your swollen clit until you let the overstimulation turn into another orgasm, cumming for him the third time of the night. You’re exhausted, just laying there and letting him use your body as a fuck toy to get off as he continues to slam into you.
“God, you’re such a good fucking girl, letting me use you how I want. You must love this cock,” he finally cums inside of your pussy, filling you to the brim. “What do you say we go back downstairs and let this cum drip out of you? Let everyone know who claimed you?”
The man barely gave you a minute to rest before he got dressed and put your panties in the back on his dress pants. “We should go down before my father realizes I’m missing. Let’s round two after the banquet.” You grinned at him as he helped you get dressed and led you downstairs, where someone will definitely see cum dripping down your leg.
#btssmutclub#armyofwriters#bangtanarmynet#ktaenet#ipurpleunet#bts#bts x reader#reader x bts#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts au#bts scenario#bts reactions#taehyung x reader#reader x taehyung#taehyung fanfic#taehyung smut#taehyung au#taehyung scenario#taehyung reactions#bts v#v x reader#reader x v#v fanfic#v smut#v au#v scenario#v reactions#masterlist
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Its been a long time sense ive written anything on here cause you know no one uses this app/website like they used to say but true I was just going through my instagram finally and archiving and deleted stuff i should have years ago and i remembered i had a cool blog on here so i started reading some entries and i realized how much ive grown and ventured away from my old way of thinking im on a complete new path of understanding what a healthy relationship is and how to avoid bad habits and patterns. One of my terrible patterns was obsessing over people im getting to know. I'd have thing big idea of who i thought they were going to be and how we'd end up and it was so unhealthy because 100/100 the would be nothing like the person i imagined them to be. Once i finally realized why i was doing that i finally started recognizing signs so i could avoid making the same mistake and repeating my bad habit. I havent dated in a while because i dont settle. I'm also using all of my interactions as learning experiences right now. So im not really looking to date im kinda letting things play out and teaching myself how to handle it correctly. I'm spent alot of time getting to know myself and trying to grow as a person that honestly im not sure if i could even maintain a relationship because i have so much more work i want to do on myself before bringing someone new in my life. I could go on and on but basically iy was just nice to know ive truly grown as a person. I have alot more work to do but im proud of where i am.
8/15/21
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TS Actor AU: Reach Out Your Hand Pt 1
Summary: Before recovery can come, you have to admit you have a problem first. In 2019, Roman’s been clean for about 6 years. In 2011, however? Clean is a long way away. He’s alone. Isolated. No-one to turn to. Except he might have one person. But Roman’s ignored him for the last 4 years. But then the voicemail comes.
Read on Ao3 here.
A/N: Hey everyone! So, I’m currently working on a multi-chapter fic set after the last two fics. But that’s probably going to take me a while. So in the meantime, have this fic that’s set 8 years before the others. This is some backstory on Roman, Remus, and Dillon, and how Roman got on the first steps to recovery. Also, I meant for this to be a one-shot, but it’s going to be a two-parter. It’s too long to post all at once. I apologize in advance for this, it’s really intense and a lot of whump and angst. I promise part 2 will make up for everything, and that’ll be up tomorrow.
As usual, let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! And once again, I apologize.
Content Warnings:
Drunken texts, drug abuse, drug overdose, mild violence (vague mention), self-deprecating thoughts and language, whump, angst
****************************
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Sent at 11:24pm
Text from (xxx) xxx-xxxx:
happhy B-day roe
its me Rekus
Remus
i gootta new phonee
im sorry
iwas the worts
woest
worsr
Cant typw
To drukn
Miss u tho
First b-day wit out u
Do u mis me to?
See u on th news
Got that moie
Movie deal u wanted
Hop ur doin wel
That ur happy
M not
Mis u
Love u
****************************
Friday, March 20, 2009
Sent at 2:00 pm
Text from (xxx) xxx-xxxx:
Hey Ro, happy birthday,
it’s me again.
I wanna apologize for the mess that I sent last year. Thought you’d like to know I’m in a much better place now.
I’m in college in San Francisco, probably gonna live there after.
Gotta boyfriend, just like you always said you would if we didn’t have to deal with everyone’s expectations.
Went to therapy, boyfriend’s idea
Though he was just a best friend then
It’s been really helpful.
I was so awful to you.
I honestly wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again
You don’t have to forgive me, I just want a chance to talk
If you want to meet up
Just let me know
****************************
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Sent at 10:00 am
Text from (xxx) xxx-xxxx:
Hey Ro
Happy birthday again.
At this point, I know you probably won’t reply
This probably isn’t even your number anymore.
I don’t know why I keep texting you though
Closure, perhaps?
An inability to let go?
Whatever it is, it’s kinda sad
I can’t stop though
If by any chance you are reading this, please respond
I don’t care if it’s to say you hate me, or never want to talk to me again, please
I need you
I need my brother
****************************
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sent at 10:00 am
Text from (xxx) xxx-xxxx:
Happy birthday Ro!
This will probably be the last time I text you.
My boyfriend, Dillon, pointed out that if you were going to reply, you would’ve already
I need to move on
I need to heal
I still love you though
You’ll always be my brother
****************************
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Sent at 11:00 am
Text from (xxx) xxx-xxxx:
Ro
Ro, what the hell?
I know I said that I wouldn’t text again
But I just saw the news
You punched someone?
What on earth
I’d honestly be kinda proud of you if I wasn’t worried
Are you doing ok?
That’s not like you.
I was always the violent one.
I know what I said before, but if you need anyone to talk to, I’m here.
I won’t be waiting for you anymore, but I’ll still be here for you, if you need me.
All you need to do is reach out.
****************************
Sunday, August 15, 2011
Missed Call at 1:00 am
Voicemail from (xxx) xxx-xxxx:
“Ro—Roman! Please, please tell me you’re there, that you’re alright—
I just heard, apparently you’ve been missing for two weeks? Two whole weeks, and I didn’t know—
Please call me back, or text if that works better! Please, no one knows where you are, if you’re ok, nothing!
I — I can’t lose you Roman.
I mean, maybe I did already, maybe I did a long time ago—
But that was different. At least you were alive. You were happy. At least, I thought you were happy. I’m not so sure about that anymore.
But if by some miracle, some crazy insane miracle you still have this number, if you’re ok, please please let me know.
I love you so much Ro.
I don’t think I ever said it enough, but I do. So, so much.
I hope wherever you are, you’re ok.”
****************************
The dark hotel room was illuminated only by the screen of his phone. He stared at it with glassy eyes, unseeing, as the message finished playing. Roman was leaning against the bed, sitting on the floor. His phone was gleaming on the ground next to him.
Roman had read Remus’s texts as they came, of course, but he hadn’t thought they were sincere. That they were real. Nothing else in his life was, not even his own parents. So why should his own twin be an exception? But he didn’t delete the texts or block the number. He let the messages keep coming. And he didn’t know why.
Maybe because part of him had wanted to hope. Why else would he be where he was now? Why else would he have used the most of the little money he had left to get himself here? Here in a dingy little motel on the edge of San Francisco. He hadn’t told anyone where he was going, not that anyone cared. Maybe Remy might’ve. Remy, who Roman realized now might’ve been his only real friend. At least, he could’ve been, if Roman hadn’t pushed him away when Remy had attempted to convince Roman he had a problem. Pushed him away just like Roman had done to everything else good in his life.
That’s why he hadn’t contacted Remus yet. Why he’d sat here in this room with it’s flea-ridden bed and peeling wallpaper for almost two weeks now, only leaving to buy food from the nearby convenience store. Remus’s texts had seemed like he was doing well. Roman had looked at his Facebook too. Remus was in college, was living with his boyfriend, a job working as a tech at a local theater. He seemed happy. Roman couldn’t bring himself to ruin that like he ruined everything else.
But that voicemail—he hadn’t ever heard Remus sound so frightened before. So worried. And about Roman, of all people. Why? Why on earth? Sure, they’d been close as kids, but they hadn’t even been in the same room for years. And Roman had ignored all of Remus’s attempts to make contact since. He couldn’t understand it. It made his head hurt. He was feeling bitterly jittery, and not very glittery.
That was a weird sentence. When did his thoughts stop making sense? He needed his pills, needed them. He couldn’t deal with all of these thoughts and emotions. He needed them to go away. He needed them to stop. He fumbled on all fours for the bottle, and finally found it, open and empty. That wasn’t right, it’d been full only...only...he couldn’t remember. A wave of dizziness hit him, and he pitched forward, face planting into the ground.
Something wasn’t right. Why was his brain so fuzzy. Everything hurt so much, he couldn’t think. He needed help. He needed Remus. He somehow managed to find his phone, and hit the contact simply labeled “R.”
The phone rang. And rang. Finally, it was picked up. And a familiar voice spoke.
****************************
Remus ran his hand through his sleeping boyfriend’s hair. It was a calming motion that somewhat helped to calm his racing mind. But not by much. Dillon had attempted to convince Remus to rest, but Remus couldn’t sleep. Not when Roman was missing. He’d gotten the news around midnight, from a former friend of Roman’s, Remy.
Remy had been the one to tell Remus that Roman had been struggling with a drug addiction, though Remy didn’t know how long. He’d tried to get Roman some help as soon as he found out, but the other man had rejected it and broke off their friendship. Remy had gone to Roman’s apartment that morning to attempt to repair their relationship, with the hope that he could eventually convince Roman to get some help. But he was nowhere to be found. The door was unlocked, and there was two weeks worth of mail on the floor. He’d found Remus’s number on accident, on a post-it on Roman’s fridge, labeled “Bro.” That’s when he’d called Remus and, upon finding out he was Roman’s brother, told him everything.
Remus didn’t quite understand why Roman had his number saved like that, but the more pressing concern was finding Roman. Remus attempted to call Roman several times, each one going straight to voicemail.
He didn’t blame Dillon for falling asleep though. Remus would if he could. He couldn’t though. The hand that wasn’t running through Dillon’s hair had a death grip on his phone. He couldn’t stop staring at it, praying to anyone who would listen that it would ring.
He didn’t know what he expected though. Roman had never responded to him in the past, so why would now be any diff—
“I’m a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie wooorld
Life in plastic, it’s fantastic...”
Remus startled as his phone’s ringtone filled the room. Next to him, Dillon shifted and blinked tiredly at him.
“Why on earth do you still have that obnoxious song as your ringtone?” Dillon questioned, a little grumpy at being woken so unceremoniously.
“You can brush my hair, undress me everywheere
Imagination, life is your creation...”
Remus could barely hear him. He could barely hear his own ringtone. All he could do was stare at the name that lit up the screen.
Lil bRO(man)
“Come on, Barbie, let's go party!”
Dillon looked up at Remus, the sleep slowly fading from his gaze as his brain slowly began to catch up.
“Re, what’s wrong?”
“I’m a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie wooorld
Life in plastic, it’s fantastic...”
The chorus of the song began to repeat, and Remus knew he was running out of time. This was something he’d wanted for years, and now, it was happening right in front of him. But he was frozen. For some reason, he couldn’t answer the phone.
“You can brush my hair, undress me everywheere…”
When Remus didn’t respond, Dillon sat up, and saw the phone lying limp in his boyfriend’s grasp.
“Imagination, life is you—”
Quick as a lightning bolt, Dillon grabbed the phone and hit ANSWER before it could go to voicemail. Almost as quick, he hit the speaker button.
There was a long moment of silence. Too long. Finally, Remus’s voice returned.
“Ro, is that you?” He asked, hopefully. “Are you ok, are you hurt, where—”
“Re. I— I didn’t acshully think you’d anshwer.”
Roman’s familiar voice leaked through the speakers like water through a broken dam. Despite Remus’s relief, however, he immediately recognized something was wrong. One look at Dillon’s face told Remus that he’d heard it too. The way Roman’s words slurred themselves together. Remus took a deep breath. He knew how to handle this. He just needed to stay calm.
“Of course I would.” Remus said sincerely. “Ro, why don’t you tell me where you are? Maybe I can come to you and we can have this conversation in person?”
However, Roman didn’t seem to hear Remus’s question.
“I meshed up Re, meshed up big time, I ran ‘way from evything ‘cause I shcrewed up, an’ now I’m losht an’ allone an’ I jus’ wanted to hear your voishe one lasht time…”
Remus felt his heart seize in panic at those words. He grabbed the phone out of Dillon’s hands as the man looked on worriedly. Remus clutched that phone like it was his lifeline. No, Roman’s lifeline.
“Roman, wait, what do you mean, one last time? Where are you, what’s going on?”
“Ate too many of th’ pret-ty white circles, and now I can’ shtand up right and m’ brain won’ work.”
Roman’s voice grew thick, and it began to sound like he was crying.
“M sorry Re, ‘m an awful brother. I can’ do anything righ’ an’ I was too much of a cow-ward to tell you I was here.”
Remus’s eyes widened in shock as his brain processed the information. White circles, didn’t a lot of pills take that form? Including addictive ones. And Roman was here? San Francisco?
He looked over to Dillon to find that his boyfriend had his own phone out, and was callling someone. Dillon caught his gaze, and mouthed 911. Keep him talking. Remus took a deep breath. He needed to keep it together. For Roman’s sake.
“Roman, you’re going to be fine, just tell me where you are, and I’ll be right there. You said that you’re here? Where is here?”
“Th’ golden ci-ty, home of Saint Franny. Wan-ed to talk to you, couldn’ get up th’ nerve. ‘M in this shtupid lil hot-tel, it schucks. Bayshide Mot-tel, I think. Rom 320. Picked it cause it wash our birth-dayte.”
Remus quickly glanced over to Dillon urgently, and his boyfriend began relaying Roman’s location to the paramedics.
“Ro, we’ll be right there, just hold on, ok? We’re on our way.”
No response.
“Roman, Roman!”
Silence echoed from the other end of the line.
“No, nononononono no! Roman, please!”
In a dark dingy motel room several miles away, the only sound was a brother’s anguished cries, and the only light was that of a cracked phone screen next to a limp hand.
****************************
AN: Again, I’m really sorry about this cliffhanger, and I will fix it tomorrow.
****************************
TAGLIST:
@ironwoman359
@galacticguppy
@trashpanda-remus
@atticusfinchthelegend
@ravenclawunicorn1
@voidvirgil
@dogwithpants
@dreaming-about-kittens
#ts actor au#sanders sides#sanders sides fanfic#my writing#my au#remus sanders#deceit sanders#roman sanders#remy sanders#sympathetic deceit sanders#sympathetic remus sanders
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[ NICOLA PELTZ / POLYTROPOS / HORME / MUSE #13 ] / [ ELEANOR ILARIA ] is a [ TWENTY ONE ] year old [ MARINE BIOLOGY ] major. [ SHE/HER ] is known for being [ + PROTECTIVE & + PASSIONATE ] but [ - CARELESS & - DETACHED]. when i think of them, i imagine [ HIGH SPEED MIDNIGHT CAR RIDES TO NOWHERE, NEON LIT ALLEYWAYS, CIGARETTE ASH FALLING ONTO CONCRETE PAVEMENTS ]. and even though they’re a proud HU student now, we all have our roots. theirs run back to them being a [ MARBLE HILL PREPATORY (IGNIS) ] graduate. i asked around and it turns out they [ AREN’T ] an AOP student. in their interview, they managed to woo the admissions team by [ THEIR VOLUNTEER WORK PORTFOLIO + HIGH GRADES ]. i guess that’s all there is to know! unless… [ dakota / 22 / est / she/her ]
hey, hey! my name is DAKOTA and im here to bring you the current loml ELEANOR ILARIA. if you wanna know more abt her keep reading !! and my inbox is always open for new plot ideas and past connections.
TW: ADDICTION, TW: OVERDOSE.
THEME SONG: delete forever by grimes
OVERVIEW
ella is my fighty little problem child. she’s always up for a good time, so if you need a partner in crime she’s prob the one you should go to. if you ever find yourself up at three am and need someone to go toilet paper your ex’s house she’s the one to call. if she was in hogwarts she’d be a gryffindor. favorite movie genre is horror. and if you touch her little sister, you might get a punch in the face.
FAMILY
eleanor is the black sheep of the family yet the pressured heiress trope at the same time. her family is comparatively very wealthy and as the eldest she has always been expected to carry on the family legacy by doing something important, really making something of her life. when she was accepted into hu it wasn’t a surprise, it was merely expected. what did surprise them however was her choice in major. people, in her eyes, weren’t worth helping. all they had done her entire life was let her down, use her. manipulate her. but animals were different, more innocent. so like she had done her entire life, she pushed back from the pressure and after telling them she was going for business management and administration, she secretly applied for marine biology instead. the fallout wasn’t the prettiest, but at least she wasn’t stuck doing something she hated the rest of her life.
ADDICTION
TW: OVERDOSE, ADDICTION. in her junior year of high school she met a girl named lacey who was a year older than her. it wasn’t long before she was imitating her -- from her clothes, to her newfound niccotine addiction, to the way she snuck out at midnight when normally be tucked tightly to sleep by ten pm. they did everything together and eleanor found herself wanting more and more to please her, to make her think she was cool enough to be seen with the kind of people lacey hung out with. first it was as innocent as weed, then came lsd, and suddenly each time that she was handed a pill she didn’t even ask what kind it was before popping it back with a swig of water. it wasn’t about lacey, or looking cool anymore. it was about chasing the high and escaping her problems. she first knew she had a problem when she caught herself snooping through her younger sisters underwear drawer for some extra cash when her parents had caught on and took away her credit card. her worst was about a year ago, where it got to the point where she overdosed and almost died until her sister elena found her. after she saw elena’s face when she woke up in the hospital, she hasn’t touched anything since.
CURRENT CONNECTIONS
elena ilaria — TW: OVERDOSE, ADDICTION. the only one in her family she would actually call family is her sister, elena. the two have been close knit since diapers. every milestone, every bump in the road, they’ve been there for each other. not every moment was happy or on good terms but in the end they’ve always come out of it closer. in the darkest moments in her addiction, elena was a little bit of light that helped her pull through. most of the times she’s gotten clean its been for her sister. she’s currently been clean for the longest because her last scare she overdosed and almost died and elena was the one who found her. seeing her sisters face after she woke up in the hospital had given her the drive she needs to really get clean.
WANTED CONNECTIONS
past lovers, ex best friends, current best friends -- please come give me all of them !! i’m down for everything just plot with m pls :)
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Rightt- Its my first time posting anything watsoever on Tumblr so eXCuse ME if this is Shite Level right haha.
ok then, before this I want to say aswell. I do not want to, in any way, shape, or form, make the Lyric Video all about Larry and all. Niall 🇮🇪 is amazing and what he did was beyond amazing and Im so proud of my lil potato..
butt ok, lez goo
B&W Lyric Video Possible Coincidences With Larry. Prt1 (because image limit is apparently a thing here :( ffs )
Before you read this I reccomend you watch The new Lyric video, and see for yourself what im about to write in here! Because cmon, if it was visible to an idiot like me, imagine what all the "Dark(?)Larries" could find if they actually searched for stuff in the video? haha...
well, following some "clues" from "secret accounts" on Instagram and twitter (I don't know if they are actually valid or not) I came up with some dates that appeared to be important in some way. One of them was 21/04 (or some especualte its 22/04) and maybe 26/04 or 27/04.
Now, wbk that rumours that the BU article was going to come up around April because back in March, a lot of the "trusted" accounts have been talking about it. But not just that, April has been a fookin busy month if you ask me. The Clifford interview, the Eleanor narrative, Niam live toguether, the group chat! The FOOkin warning selfie that we got. Not counting the leak of emails (which we don't know if it's true or false) between M*dest! and another recipient, on Haylor and Wellington. Too much, too much.
Even with all of these things happening, the accounts still made sure to always point back to the dates, which infered that whatever they were talking about was still to come. Now, idk if they meant the Black and White lyric Video. But if the date was of today, and if nothing else happens until midnight (Rn is 21/04/20 19:42). Then I will specualte that they were talking about the LV.
1. FreddieIsMyQueen reference?
I don't know if it may be a reference to the latest FIMQ video, (and sadly her last because of all the Bullshit that happened with her )': ) but the same 'filter' or 'fx' or watever that was used, was the same used on FIMQ's video of Louis The Brave which if you're not familiar with, I do reccomend watching it. Its on yt even tho her channel got deleted.
Now these are some screenshots I tool from the video; notice the little square on the middle left of the screen.
These squares kept appearing throughout the video. And viewers also seemed to remember it from somewhere else.
This is a screenshot from Harry's Live at the Forum BTS; see anything familiar?
See what I mean? they were the same on both FIMQ's video, which she probably did on pourpouse.
Now, that video had been noticed by a pretty "respected secret account" on twitter. Which fans speculate is the return acc of Rbb:
(Sorry I couldn't crop idk how this works lol)
But yeah, it was noticed. And the tweeter didn't seem to mind it, didn't say that it was outrageous nor did it say it was completely uncalled for like many specualte. like seriously, plz.
Anyways, this is what appeared in Niall's Lv;
*Shocked Pikachu Face* Ah.
Yeah- It was the same. When I saw this the first thing that came into my mind was FIMQs video, fore and front.
Now, I don't know why he would do something like that. I probably am just overanalyzing my ass off on this because the past few months have been a load of me. Specially because (to me at least) the most 'trustfull' proofs we can get are from either Liam or Niall himself. Specially Niall's public videos because he is on a different label from the boys.
Also wanted to add in this, believe it if you want ot not. This is one of the supposed 'secret accounts aswell' (or maybe not idk)
Yeah, this tweet is talking about their ig lives; but what if it also meant that the things both Liam and Niall say/do will have some kind of meaning towards all of this?
Its all up to you to believe really.
2. Rainbow imagery throughout the chorus and else.
The Lv was beautiful in many ways! It was unique, incredible. All the colours, black and white, everything.
It made me question, (don't get it in a homophobic way, by no means do I mean this in any bad way)
Why would Niall specifically add Rainbow narratives to parts of the Chorus like the way he did? I mean, yeah- "All your gorgeous colours" and all of that, ok, Colours. But then it made me think; Ha, Gayyyyy.
And I mean- As far as I know (could be wrong) Niall's straight. So to just add a rainbow pallete which distorted the whole video out of nowhere seemed a little suspicious to me.
AGAIN. I could be wrong, and overanalyzing.
look; (watch the video for more places)
Now, we could go two ways over here:
1) Niall is just using colours to represent the "In all your gorgeous colours" line. And even supporting equal love, for that matter.
2) He means to tell us that equal love wins. And that in this occasion, this song means something to equal love. A CeRtAin EQUAL LOVE.
If we go by the second route. You probably already know what I mean. But I'm still going to write it in words.
What if this could link to a certain "Larry Vows?"
Because cmon, we dont actually know if Harry and Louis actually got married in the 28/09, and it probably could be more "true" that they got engaged that day, rather than actually married. (Since, I don't really remember, but I can remember either Harry or Lou talking about people being engaged for years because there is no rush and all)
Which then, Im quaking because are Larry getting married? And are they using Niall's song? Umfmmdmf idk.
But what if they ARE married?
Then maybe the scene is about how the vows went, and how they are teue and still steong even after all that happened.
Beautiful both ways.
->Now the rainbow scenes just seemed so random to me, because it came out of nowhere. And yeah ok? But there must be an actuall reasonfor all the rainbows and all? Quickest and most probaably link? Larry. Duh.
Or maybe not. I could be wrong again.
(Now proceed to my next post because the image limit came over here and I dont know how to put more ):< )
Diamond xx
#larry#larry stylinson#larry is real#larry proof#harry styles#louis and harry#louis tomlinson#analysing larry proof#probable larry proof#1D#one direction
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