#and I hated 2022 Texas Chainsaw
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2022 honestly had such amazing and interesting horror movies imo, I can't wait for next year
#X; Pearl; Bodies Bodies Bodies; Nope; Fresh were amazing and amongst some of my favourites in recent years#I'd also fully defend Terrifier 2; Smile and Loneliest Boy in the World as pretty good#I'd say they weren't as good but I still enjoyed all three of them#Scream 5 and Orphan: First Kill i was a bit more disappointed with#and I hated 2022 Texas Chainsaw#but idk overall i think this year had great horror#and I liked that there were quite different genres and vibes but they were all interesting and good and did well#and they were original!!!!#genuinely the worst of 2022 is the stuff that was a remake or prequel that felt unnecessary#Terrifier 2 is excluded from that since it's an indie movie basically and it's the same director#it's not trying to revive something from a decade or more ago#I liked that a lot#I still need to watch the barbarian bc that's the one main one I havent seen yet#also Halloween Kills but I havent heard anything good about it#oh also I know the Black Phone technically came out in 2021 but it only was shown in cinemas this year and that's another amazing one#I had such a great time watching Black Phone it's so good#god i wanna gush more about horror so badly it's such a good genre#i love it#im so sorry for basically writing an essay here#horror
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SUMMARY: After 48 years of hiding, Leatherface returns to terrorize a group of idealistic young friends who accidentally disrupt his carefully shielded world in a remote Texas town.
The fact that the original is the mod's favourite horror movie might influence her opinion but she hated this movie.
#texas chainsaw massacre (2022)#texas chainsaw massacre franchise#slasher#2020s#united states#north american movie#mentionable warning#racism#horror#movies#poll
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hey its me lons again. give me your most autistic take. what's the opinion you've had (any fandom) for so long as the result of your deep, soul-crushing obsession of canon. the comsic truth of the universe
oh boy i’ve. i’ve got quite a few. let’s get these over with
(multiple fandoms ahead)
Bubba Sawyer AKA Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre is NOT a villain. He grew up away from civilization and only ever interacted with his family, and therefore only knows what they taught him. he is also clearly disabled to some capacity and literally does not grasp the weight of his actions because he’s only ever done what his family has told him to. He has had no other significant human interaction besides his family. he is an antagonist, an opposing force, yes— but NOT a villain
The Batman fandom gets really pissy when characters are confirmed as canonically queer in any iteration, usually the Riddler and/or The Joker. This makes me angry for a few reasons. One, literally who gives a fuck, just because you don’t like a single interpretation of a character doesn’t mean all other media of them doesn’t exist, just go watch that. Two, it’s literally denying the entire history of these villains. “But isn’t making a flamboyant man gay a stereotype?” Yes. Exactly. Because they did that on purpose. Whether conscious or not, DC has been queer coding their villains since the beginning. They were literally made to be theatrical, flamboyant gay stereotypes to demonize gay people. There’s a reason all the male rogues are so out there and colorful and batman is stoic and dark. we deserve to reclaim them. Three, it’s been confirmed like a million times that the Joker is in love with Batman in his own special messed up why, and if you deny it you’re literally just lying go read a comic (this can also be applied to Venom + Eddie…Venom literally sucks eddie’s dick, gets him pregnant, tongue kisses him, and eddie refers to their relationship as a love story. they’re dating get over it).
The reason people hate 2022/Dano Riddler is because fandoms hate any significant change and because they can’t read between the likes enough to actually see the nuance and understand the character. Superhero fans need every aspect of a character fucking spoon fed to them and it’s so frustrating.
Nina The Killer’s rewrite was a downgrade, sorry. she’s just a copy of Jane now. which i was confused as to why she was rewritten anyways was because i always thought that the point of her story was to be satirical? Like…the whole joke was that she wasn’t actually talking to Jeff, just an impersonator messing with her not realizing the damage they were doing, and the moral was about the dangers of extreme idolization. but idk maybe that’s just me
Tim punching Jay in the parking lot in MH was totally justified. Deserved, even. Imagine if someone recorded you and posted it on the internet without your consent, and on top of that had been basically stalking you and totally lying to you. Jay was basically on a mission to uproot Tim’s entire life whether he knew it or not. I know Jay didn’t totally realize what was going on, but he needed the wake up call. He was doing some fucked up shit
No, [WOMAN CHARACTER] does not deserve to be hated on, you’re just misogynistic. hope this helps!
oh boy that was a lot. I have many more of these but this is all i can make myself type out rn. hope this is satisfactory!
#hot takes#fandom opinions#marble hornets#tim wright#jay merrick#creepypasta#nina the killer#batman#dc#the joker#the riddler#edward nygma#texas chainsaw massacre#bubba sawyer#leatherface#the batman 2022#dano riddler
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Devil May Halloween 2022 - The Horror Amusement Park, Dante's Path
Happy Halloween everyone!! Hope you enjoy this one! Vergil's Path will be posted soon ;)
Pairing: Dante x Reader
Summary: After Nico solved the apple puzzle box, you and Dante entered what was called the Carnival of the Damned. Following a devil clown around, you would soon notice things are not quite what they seem - Happy Halloween!
(I think this is quite a long one too, I lost count of words/pages)
WARNINGS: Demonic clowns. I hate clowns, and I figured I'd better warn you, this one is filled with clowns - and cursing, and violence, and blood... You know. A typical Devil May Cry episode.
Author's note: A little bit delayed, but here it is!! I have to say, one of the scenes is inspired by the Ghost Rider movie, because I simply ADORED it when I was a teen (yep, that one with Nicolas Cage. It's wonderful and I don't care how campy it looks xD). It took me a while to post, because a sudden freelance opportunity appeared and I didn't have a professional portfolio - had to finish around 12 drawings in two days to get it all set up and delay writing a little bit. I do hope you guys understand "^^
I hope you all have a great Halloween, and to all my witches out there, happy Samhein ;)
(Also, I used witch as a word for everyone, because I do believe you don't have to be a woman to be called 'witch')
Devil May Halloween 2022 - Dante's Path
You found yourself in complete darkness.
When you admitted to Kyrie you were afraid of the dark as well, it wasn’t just to make her feel better. You really didn’t like it, but there was something a little more unnerving than just darkness in that room…
It was silence.
You heard nothing. Suddenly, everyone was gone, and you had the terrifying realization that you were completely alone.
Alone in a place you had no idea where it was, after a hellish puzzle box sent you there.
“Damn you Hellraiser…” You murmured to yourself, too silently for whatever else that could be there to listen.
“Y/n? Babe? Hey! Are you there?!” But Dante’s voice made itself heard above all that dark. You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, even if nervously.
“Dante?! You’re here too?! Where are you?!” Waving your arms around, trying to grope anything that wasn’t air, you searched for your red devil. You had to admit, few times in your life you felt so happy upon hearing his voice – it was like a light in that pitch black dark.
“Yeah, I am! Anyone else with you, babe?” You could hear him walking around and trying to find you as well – so you decided to use your ears: closing your eyes, you only followed the sound of his voice.
“Nope, I’m here alone! How about you?”
“Well, I’m here with ya, wouldn’t call that alone, hot stuff.” As he giggled in the dark, you were certain of his position. With a nervous laugh alongside him, you ran towards Dante, finally able to wrap your arms around him. “Hey! Hello there, pretty! It’s alright!”
“Seriously, why did it have to be dark?” You muttered with your forehead resting on his chest, feeling his hands playing with your hair while you both laughed. “C’mon. Why do demonic things never do something out in the sun? No one ever watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre?”
“I don’t think they have, but you got a point there. Don’t have to be in the dark to be scared, right?” He let his hands rest on your hips as you turned your head upwards as if trying to see him. You couldn’t see anything, but you were close enough for Dante to see you perfectly – and, honestly, he would never get tired of having you in his arms like that.
“Exactly. Everyday, I fear Vergil is gonna stab you with a thousand summoned swords.”
Your words were enough to make him break down in laughs and bring you back to the situation at hand. Even if you liked when Dante played with your hair and embraced you, it wasn’t really the place to have a moment.
“Gotta say, that I fear too!” He finally let you go, but you were adamant in holding one of his hands. Dante didn’t seem to care, though. “Ok. We gotta find a way outta here.”
“And find everyone else. Where do you think we are?” You glanced back at him, a little hesitant about your next words. “Hell…?”
“Nah. There are a few dark spots like this in ol’ daddy Sparda’s home, but we aren’t there, pretty eyes.” He sighed, taking a look around. You couldn’t see it, but everything Dante was able to make out was nothing. It was as if you both were trapped in a void. “It’d be different. And trust me, there would be one hell of a reception to my old man’s blood.”
You furrowed your brows as soon as you felt Dante’s hand slightly tensing in yours, holding you a little tighter. He didn’t talk a lot about Hell – he certainly talked about it more than Vergil, but still, it wasn’t much – so you couldn’t help but notice that instinctive reaction from him and mark in your mind as important. Dante tensed over very few things and you never thought the mention of Hell and his time there alongside Vergil would be one of those things.
“Hmmm… Ok. So… You think this is demonic? I mean… You’re the Son of Sparda, where’s the usual reception of soured demons over your dad’s ‘betrayal’…?” As you asked, Dante couldn’t help himself but to snort a laugh in disdain. It was a running joke between you two: demons would always taunt him over his blood, his father’s legacy, the so-called betrayal of Sparda. It was starting to get old, really.
“And you got another point there, babe. No idea.” Dante shrugged, starting to walk around aimlessly while you just followed – never letting go of his hand. “Kinda feeling a little ignored here!” He raised his voice, as if complaining with whatever trapped you in there. You had to giggle a little bit. “But yeah, it’s demonic. You saw Trish’s face. I don’t know what kind of thing that box was, but I’m pretty sure she knew and tried to warn us.”
“Hmmm…” You remembered the look on Trish’s face as she glanced at the shiny red box in Nico’s hands. She did everything she could to reach out on time but failed. “So… You think we can expect cenobites?” As soon as you asked, Dante stopped on his tracks and burst out in a fit of laughter. “I mean, I’m pretty sure you can kick Pinhead’s ass with ease, babe, but they take the pain is pleasure thing a little too far for me, it’s a big no-no.”
Even if you couldn’t actually see Dante, you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling caringly at him. He had the best of laughs: bright as the sun, loud and sincere – it would always make your heart warm hearing him having so much genuine fun. You could crack unexpected jokes the whole night just to have him happy like that. Dante deserved it.
“Oh, but they have such sights to show you!” Of course, he had to joke with one of the lines from the movie, opening his free arm while still laughing at your question. Dante would never say it, but he thought you were adorable when you said things like that – there was something of innocent about using pop culture references to ask what was true or not about Hell. It was an innocence he prayed you’d never lose, for Dante would always do his absolute best to keep you from experiencing that place with your own soul.
“Right now, I can’t see anything. They are clearly failing on that.” You kept your voice as monotone as Vergil when he was complaining, making Dante find it all even more endearing. “If we find the cenobite travel department, I’m speaking to their manager about this. It’s unacceptable.”
Amidst Dante’s laughs – almost to the brink of tears you couldn’t see – your words were followed by a door lighting up in the distance. That made your red devil recompose himself by your side, both of you turning serious for a moment.
“Do you have any of your weapons with ya, babe?”
“What? Of course not!” If you could see him, you would have turned at Dante with the most baffled expression – not that he couldn’t see that in the dark. “Only Vergil brings weapons to an amusement park, but he has issues, Dante.”
“Well, we all have then. Here.” Before you could say anything else, you felt Dante placing one of his heavy guns in your free hand. It was Ebony or Ivory for sure, you knew how they felt even with your eyes closed. “If things go south, you gotta protect yourself too.”
“Where did you put this thing…?” You whispered as you approached the door, trying to remember everything from the night prior to that moment but failing to find where Dante had put his guns.
“Hey, I got my tricks too. Verge isn’t the only one with issues.” And with that comment, Dante finally opened the door.
As you crossed to the other side, a sudden brightness made you both close your eyes – only to open them and find yourselves in the middle of what looked like a cursed circus: bloody tents, half broken luminous signs, abandoned attractions and distorted circus music.
“Ooooh you gotta be kidding me…” Yes, you were in pain. If there was something you hated more than darkness, that was… “Killer clowns. Why does it always have to be killer clowns…?”
Dante did his best not to laugh – you were suffering enough already with just the idea of being hunted by a demonic clown of sorts.
“Hey, don’cha worry, babe! I’m here with ya, remember?” He started walking around, opening his arms while you followed him after a deep sigh. “Nothin’s gonna touch you – and that, is a promise.” With those words, he playfully tapped the point of your nose with his index finger, making you smile. Even if you didn’t want to.
“So…” You sighed again, hands inside the pockets of your black leather pants. “A carnival. A demonic one. I’ve never heard of this sort of demons before.”
“Me neither, but I did kill a few clown-looking spooks back when I was younger…” Dante mused while walking around and trying to find something that could tell you what the hell was going on in that place. “Lady’s ol’ man was the most annoying.”
“Oh, I had forgotten that! His demonic form was… Jester, right?” As you asked, Dante confirmed with his head, smiling back at you. “Can you imagine. You sacrifice everything in your human life to have the powers of a demon and Hell turns you into a clown. He should’ve gotten the clue.”
This time, Dante couldn’t stop himself from laughing. A lot.
“Ya know, you should tell Lady that! She’ll appreciate the thought, really!”
But before you could answer him, you sensed something wasn’t right by your side. As soon as you noticed it, though, the thing was faster than you and suddenly a clown with sharp teeth and bloody sparkly clothes jumped right in front of you, screaming as he did so.
Of course, you screamed as well and instinctively grabbed Dante’s arm, almost hiding behind your red devil. He wouldn’t admit it, but Dante actually liked when you used him to protect yourself – after all, he believed that was the use of his cursed blood.
“Ooooh, maaaan…” You groaned, resting your forehead on his back – Dante couldn’t help but giggle. “I hate clowns…”
“Well, well, little thing! Your reaction is the best I’ve ever seen! You are surely going to be popular here at the… Carnival of the Damned!” The clown spun around, having its arms open, showing that carnival of horrors to you. As soon as it spoke, the music got louder and there were sounds as if attractions had finally been turned on - as well as screams mixed in the wind.
“Great. It sounds great.” You couldn’t be more bitter.
“Hey, spook! What the hell is this?” Dante finally decided to grab the demon’s attention; the clown, though, looked a little shocked.
“Oh. You’re the smart one of the couple, right little thing?” The jester asked, sarcasm dripping from its words. “I can see he’s not the brightest.”
“Ei! Have some respect!” And no one could deny you were a couple, since you and Dante spoke in unison.
“Let’s cut to the chase, shall we? I’ve been to Hell, and this is not it. I’d remember somethin’ as stupid soundin’ as ‘Carnival of the Damned’ and a sorry excuse for a demon like you.” Dante grabbed his other gun, Ebony, resting it on his shoulder. You did the same with Ivory, knowing very well how your lover liked to intimidate demons. “That box brought us here, we wanna get out. Either you start explainin’, or else you’ll be dancin’ as we shoot, capisce?”
“My, my, quite a temper on this one, huh?”
“I do call him my red devil.” You shrugged, hiding a proud smile on the corner of your lips. “You should see him when he actually loses his temper.”
“Ooooooh, he is scawy, is he?” The clown pretended to be scared, using an ominous but jokester tone, laughing like a maniac right at the ending of the phrase. It was surely having fun while taunting Dante. You wondered if it knew who your red devil was.
“He’s hot, actually.” You answered in a matter-of-fact voice, making Dante turn at you with a huge, proud smile plastered on his red-hot lips. Of course, he wouldn’t be much of a rockstar if he hadn’t makeup on.
“Ya think I’m hot when I’m mad, huh?” Dante planted one of his hands on his hips, making you giggle.
“Of course. I think you’re hot whenever.” You winked back at him, making the demonic clown in front of you completely disgusted.
“BLERGH! I can see sugar dripping from you both, it is hideous!” And once again, Dante just sighed looking back at that thing. You were having a moment, he hated when demons got in the way – something quite usual. “She told me you would be like that. So, I got a little game for you, happy couple.”
“She? Who is she…?”
“A-ha! As always, the smart one, my dear!” The clown bowed to you – and you didn’t know if you should take that as a compliment or as an insult to your lover. “Why don’t you find out? Here! Catch!”
Before any of you could think, the demon threw something at Dante and he instinctively caught what seemed to be a metal ball that glowed in red.
“Oh… Fuck..!” Dante sighed, having to anchor himself on the floor with one of his knees, seeming to lose his strength. You had never seen him like that before. “Not again…”
“Aaaaah, I knew you were not normal! It seems like you have encountered one of those before.” The demon pointed at the metal ball Dante held.
“What’s going on? Dante, let it go…!” You tried to take it from his hands, but Dante refused to give it to you.
“It might kill ya, y/n. Stay back.” And he sounded unusually serious.
“Not to worry, little thing. He will survive… If you return my little friend…” The demon pointed at the ball again. “To its proper place in time! Try to catch me!”
With those words, the demon started running, entering a tent right in front of you.
“Dante, what’s wrong?”
“This thing, it sort of sucks my life. I’m half-demon, so it makes me weaker, and it takes a while to actually kill me.” He explained such a daring situation a little too calmly for his own sake – even slightly smiling at the end.
“What if you trigger, then…?”
“Well… It might take even more time.” Dante winked back at you, getting back on his feet with some difficulty. “Ok, then, hot stuff! Time to hunt down that clown!”
And in a bright, flaming red light, Dante triggered, and you could clearly see your red devil standing in front of you – fangs and claws ready to kill anything that decided to threaten you both.
“I’ll be right behind you, red devil.” It was your turn to wink at him – and you knew Dante was entertained by the way his distorted voice giggled behind his teeth.
“If ya have a hard time to catch up, scream! I’ll be right there with ya!” You just nodded, getting ready to run. It was a fact: Dante’s speed when he triggered was a lot faster than yours – and you hoped it would be to your advantage; after all, he could kill all demonic clowns along the way before you even got there.
*
You never thought you would catch yourself thinking about something like that, but seeing the trail of dead, clown looking demons and blood your lover left behind actually made you happy that night. Just the thought of not having to deal with those jesters already made you less prone to nightmares with those things, you were sure of that.
You had a lot to thank Dante later.
The tent, just like Mary Poppins’ bag, was bigger on the inside. As you entered and crossed a room filled with creepy circus props and what looked like victims laying around, you crossed another opening right on the other side and, to your surprise, you didn’t end up outside: you were in another room.
You did double back to make sure you weren’t running in circles inside an infinite loop – it had happened to you and Nero once and it took you both quite a while to find out what was going on and that it was supposed to be a hellish puzzle – but it was a different room: a place to house a knife thrower and their assistant.
That kept on for quite a while. Crossing tents decorated as the most gruesome of haunts, following the trail of dead demons. You could hear Dante in the distance – the more he ran, the more tired he sounded. It wasn’t something usual and you had to worry if your lover was alright.
“Dante! Can you see that creep anywhere?!” You decided to ask at some point. You had been running for so long, you lost count how many rooms you crossed.
If, by some chance, you were trapped inside the box, it was one hell of a big box.
After all, you had been trapped in a cursed top hat in a previous Halloween alongside Dante. Being with him was a box filled with surprises.
“Can’t see, but I can smell that garbage and hear it laughing!” His distorted voice echoed in front of you, reverberating through the tents. It always seemed to escape Dante how powerful he was – but it never escaped you.
As you were almost answering him you hoped that whole chase would end soon, you could actually hear Dante’s footsteps ending its frenetic run. After crossing two more rooms, you found your red devil staring at the demon who danced like a fool around a woman standing in the middle of a circus ring, surrounded by blood and demons who seemed to be dismembering each other.
“Ok. That’s new.” You had to point it out. It wasn’t the first time demons would be fighting their own, but it was the first time you were seeing it.
For Dante, though, it was something common to see in Hell.
“Hey, asshole! Care to take your little thing back?” Dante tossed the ball between his claws, grabbing the attention of the woman.
Although… As soon as she looked at you, her eyes seemed to lose all its will and suddenly that witch was nothing but a child. She couldn’t be older than fifteen, at least in your eyes.
“Who… Who are you?” And she looked a little frightened, even if she didn’t want to let it show. She tried to keep the pose, but it was clearly not working.
Like the demon said, Dante could be pretty scary when triggered. You were used to it, though.
“Oh. They don’t know.” You put your free hand on your waist, resting the gun on your shoulder. The girl’s eyes widened, as if she had never seen a gun so close in her life. “You guys aren’t joking, are you…?”
“You brought the wrong people! It isn’t them!” The girl complained with the demon clown, who stopped dancing around and laughing. All the chaos with the demons around seemed to come to a halt and that made you and Dante extra wary.
“They were the ones brought by the box! A couple, just like you said, little witch.” The clown didn’t look too happy – even though it was smiling. There was some sort of hatred permeating its words.
“But… They are the wrong couple! I don’t know them!” She pointed back at you. “One of them isn’t even human! You brought another witch over here!”
“Do I look like a witch…?” You turned back at Dante. “I was supposed to be The Crow.”
“I’m guessin’ she never watched the movie.” He shrugged back at you. “You look great, hot stuff.”
“I did what you told me to do!” The clown now looked positively threatening. You and Dante had your guns ready and fingers on the triggers: even if that girl was responsible for all of that, she was still a human and she had to do a lot of explaining. “Don’t go thinking you are the one in charge here! We are bound to the Carnival and you are just a parasite. A means to an end.”
“What…?!” Now the girl did her best not to stutter. You were starting to pity her. “That… That wasn’t the deal! I control you…!”
“No pitiful human controls us! Your magic was just to set us free, your little petty revenge as a blood sacrifice! Don’t go thinking for a second that you are more powerful than us, that you can bind us in servitude…!”
Furrowing your brows, you realized you heard those words before. Long ago, when Vergil was teaching you some obscure arcane arts, he taught you about binding and deals. For any being to be able to bind a demon in servitude, it was necessary to be a lot more powerful than said demon – that was how, long ago, when Vergil was a lot younger and foolish, Mundus was the only one able to bind him in his Nelo Angelo form.
It was a lesson for you to be careful: even though you were strong and powerful, you still had a long road to run in order to achieve the same level as the blood of Sparda, for instance. You should always know when you could tackle an enemy and when it was too much – it was a logic call that could cost your life. Vergil always reminded you of that.
“Hey! I was talkin’ to ya, I’m feelin’ ignored over here!” Dante finally made you two be noticed by the demon and the witch once again, giving her time to carefully put some distance between her and the jester she thought was under her control. “Where do I put this thing? Or else, I’m gonna feed it to ya!”
“Ooooh someone is getting nervous…!” Of course, the clown had to start dancing.
It was a bad call. Dante was already out of his patience and, seeing there was a human girl in possible danger, he wouldn’t take much of that any longer. After all, it looked like she was close to Patty’s age, and Dante would never deny protection to Patty.
“You know what?” Dante threw the metal ball in the air and, as it floated above your heads, he pointed Ebony at it and shot it right in the middle. The metal ball broke in a burst of energy and red sparkles filled the circus ring. “I’m tired of this shit. C’mon, spook. You’re next.”
With those words, the other demons started to surround you. Holding the gun with both hands, you were ready to fight.
“Babe. Get her and take her out of the way, ok?” He murmured to you before anything else started. You agreed with a nod.
As the red glow of the sin devil trigger took the ring, you started running towards the witch, shooting and punching anything in your way. You could hear Dante’s wings flapping and the sharp sound of something being impaled – he had summoned Devil Sword Dante and you knew things would get too ugly for that clueless girl who just screamed in horror.
“Hey! Witch! Over here!” You waved at her, kicking a demon right by your side and shooting it in the head. “I got you!”
She ran towards you, holding your hand as you tried to find a safe place to keep her and defend your position while Dante let all hell break loose.
“Are you insane?! Trying to control a demon is just for powerful witches! It requires a lot of experience!” You looked over your shoulder to see if the girl was fine behind you, shooting at the demons who tried to catch you without even looking.
“Are you a witch?!” Her eyes seemed to glow in admiration. “Can you stop this?!”
“I don’t even know what’s going on, kid!” With that, you punched the nearest evil clown, giving it a kick before unleashing Ivory on it. “Dante over there, he can handle a lot of stuff! But a Hellraiser magic box is new to even us!”
“It’s just that, a puzzle box!” The girl cried, kneeling behind you to protect herself as you shot another demon. Looking over your legs, she saw Dante, still in his full sin devil trigger form, slicing demons with a heavy flaming sword – while the clown she once thought was under her control commanded all the other demons to kill all of you. “We… We enchanted it! We found a book, a spell, to enchant and control demons! To create realities! To punish our enemies!”
“What kind of enemies a kid has that deserves all of this?!”
“They bully us every day! We’re tired of it!”
You finally halted, looking back at the girl kneeling behind you. Her eyes were filled with tears and horror – and you couldn’t help but to see yourself, a long ago, scared and brimming with rage, trying to claim a little bit of power to fight for yourself. To protect your own pride.
After all, that was how you met Dante.
“What’s your name, kid?” You shot Ivory once more, kneeling beside her, helping to hide both of you behind a couple of chairs.
“Amanda. I’m Amanda…” She kept on crying, holding your hands and trying to explain herself as if you were her parent. “I… We’re not evil, I swear to you. We were just trying, you know…? We wanted them to be scared, to see us as powerful and leave us alone! I swear, we didn’t… The demons were supposed to scare. They said it would only be a scare. We set rules, they weren’t supposed to kill anyone! We didn’t… We don’t want to… We aren’t murderers…!”
“Hey, hey, Amanda, take a deep breath, ok?” You caressed her hair, trying to calm her down. As always, humans were so difficult: they weren’t black and white as demons. Not all of them did evil for evil’s sake – some of them just made mistakes. “Like I said, demons are powerful. You’re a beginner in the occult and there’s a lot of stuff out there on the internet that doesn’t come with the needed warnings. We’re going to take care of it. Can you take us out of here?”
“Yeah… I just… That demon, it has a puzzle box to open the portal to go back.” Amanda pointed at the demon who challenged her previously – and now was fighting Dante. “It is the main demon in this reality, even if I created all this. It said it was going to keep the box safe for me, his master.”
“Wait, you did all of this?” You raised one eyebrow while she just nodded as an answer. “Not bad. You’re more powerful than I thought.”
“This smell… Ha, look what we have here!” The voice of the clown echoed in joy, drawing your attention back to the fight. You could see Dante with a scratch on his leg – something you thought was impossible given his thick skin – while the demon licked his apple red blood. “It’s that vile blood…! What a joy! What a fight! We have a Sparda for the sacrifice tonight!”
“Well, I was wonderin’ how long it would take for the ‘scumbag blood of Sparda’ to start!” Dante rested his weight on his sword, barely bothered by the scratch. That seemed to make the demon even angrier, now with eyes glowing red. “I think this one was the slowest to notice, right, hot stuff?”
“Well, I do think he isn’t the brightest of demons, babe. Give it a break.” You shrugged as you raised from your hiding spot – Amanda carefully placed behind you, admiring how you both bantered in the face of danger.
“Haha! That, you are right! Not the brightest in the slightest!” Dante answered in a sing song tone, delightful even if distorted by his demon form.
“Oh, you shall see, son of Sparda! I will make you suffer endlessly!” The demon summoned others to attack Dante alongside it and even Amanda could see the legendary devil hunter was outnumbered.
“I’d like to see you try that.” Dante’s answer came in a growl from his chest, while he grabbed Devil Sword Dante and prepared a drive move, making it glow like flames when unleashing on the demons.
“Ok, Amanda. You wanna see what real magic looks like…?”
The girl furrowed her eyebrows as you asked, ready to inquire what you meant by that. You didn’t have to do much explaining: simply walking as she followed you in awe, the air around you quickly filled with golden swords – attacking the demons in the blink of an eye, allowing Dante to only care about the main demon attacking him. You were decimating everyone else with the summoned swords Vergil had taught you so well how to use – something Dante never really learned.
“Wow… You gotta be the most powerful witch I’ve ever seen!” Amanda was breathless as you kept fighting without even looking at all the preys. “This is so cool! That’s why you can control a demon!”
“What?” Even though you turned back at her, your golden summoned swords kept doing their job. Again, something well taught by Vergil – bless the day he blindfolded you and pulled an Obi-Wan Kenobi teaching Luke how to sense the enemies around you and attack them. “I can’t control demons.”
“But… What about him? How do you control him?” Amanda pointed at Dante, his fangs showing while he tried to hack the clown in half – missing it by only a heartbeat.
“I don’t…”
You were about to explain when you saw in the corner of your eye a demon ready to grab Amanda. Pushing her away, the demon caught you instead, lifting your feet from the floor as it choked you.
Vergil never taught you how to use summoned swords when you were so unfocused – differently than him, you couldn’t multitask everything you did with energy. It required so much of you, even for the swords, and you still had a lot to learn. You tried to shoot the demon, but it was to no avail: all your shots were lost in its decrepit body.
“Y/n!” Of course, Dante’s attention immediately turned to you.
“Time to say goodbye to your little human! What a shame, I really enjoyed the smart one!” The clown laughed sadistically while the demon that grabbed you prepared a blade to cross your heart.
Your eyes met Dante’s flaming ones. If it was your time to go, at least you wanted him to be the last thing you saw – in whatever form he was. You still tried to struggle, but it was too hard to free yourself; after all, most of your energy was gone with the summoned swords.
You never heard Dante growl the way he did that night. Holding Devil Sword Dante with both of his hands, his feet moved at the speed of light – one you had only seen Vergil moving before. The demon who tried to kill you died before the blade could even touch your chest – making you fall to the ground while Dante ran back to the clown and quickly chopped its head off. Too fast even for it to notice it was dead.
With the same speed, he ended the few demons that were left in that place, while Amanda ran to the clown to find the box inside its clothes. Your legs were shaking as you got up, trying to catch a glimpse of Dante in his frenzy – it was rare, but you knew a threat to your life could trigger that inside him.
“I found it!” Amanda celebrated, showing the red box to you – but immediately stopped smiling as Dante stood in front of her, Devil Sword Dante in his hands, ready to kill.
“No! Dante! Stop!” You forgot how unstable your legs were, running towards them as quickly as possible. His red eyes focused on you, his demon acting almost mindlessly. “Dante! She’s only a child! Stop! She isn’t evil!”
As you reached him, Amanda winced as you gently touched his arm holding the sword. Still looking into his eyes, you eased Dante’s arm down, making him face you. With a few deep breaths, you placed one of your hands on his hardened face, gently caressing him – and, pulling him down, you finally gave Dante a kiss.
That, you would argue, was your greatest magic. Demon Dante was slowly gone, flaming red sparks glistening all over the place while your kind devil turned back into a man – your very own rockstar for the night. You felt as his sharp teeth transformed back into his soft lips, the ones you loved so much – as his leathery skin became his soft cheek under your fingers once more.
Parting your kiss and opening your eyes, you met Dante’s tired but gentle sky-blue eyes looking back into yours.
“Thank you.” He murmured back to you, taking a string of hair away from your face – hands so gentle, one could say they never even held a sword.
“Welcome back, babe.” You smiled in return, as he ran the back of his fingers on your cheek.
Dante always turned a little too soft hearted when he came down from a frenzy like that.
“Wait. He’s a guy? And you two are, like, a couple?” Amanda gestured frenetically while trying to understand what she had just seen. “Wow. You gotta be the most powerful witch. That’s so metal.”
“Wait until I tell you his father rebelled against his own kind and locked demons in Hell, while Dante here killed the king of Hell years later.” You had to boast, at least a little bit. It wasn’t every day you could flex on how your lover defeated the king of Hell, his father locked all demons in there, his brother took over that damned place and his mother was a stupidly powerful witch.
At least you had that in common with Eva: both of you had the hearts of the most powerful demons of their time, you didn’t need to control them.
“What?! You are so cool!”
“Ok, kid. Y/n here said you’re not evil, I’m willin’ to believe in it. Show me wha’cha got.” Dante sighed, making Devil Sword Dante disappear in flames as he always did. Amanda still observed you both in awe and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling – it did feel like you were dating a rockstar.
“The box, it’s a portal. This is all a spell – this demon was bound to it, and I… We… Thought we had it all under control. I need to help my friends, they’re in trouble too – if this is happening to them...” Amanda stumbled a little upon her words, but her fingers quickly worked on the puzzle box. “We didn’t mean it…”
“If your friends found any of our friends, they’re not gonna need our help.” You winked at her, watching as the box started to glow – now in the form of an apple. “Trust me. His brother is scarier. A lot scarier.”
“He has a brother?!” Amanda couldn’t stop smiling – just like Nico before, she looked like a child during Christmas. “Who are you guys?!”
You and Dante just exchanged a knowing look, smiling at each other. For once, it was nice to be seen as something more than all the usual cursed bloodline.
*
“Oh, my! You are fine!”
As you walked out of the haunted house, back in the horror park, Kyrie immediately smiled as soon as she saw you, Dante and Amanda. Running towards you, she wrapped her arms around your neck and it seemed like she would never let go.
“I was so worried!” She sighed as you hugged her back, laughing how it seemed like she was about to cry. “I thought you wouldn’t be able to leave…!”
“It’s ok, angel!” You giggled back, trying to calm her down. Dante just laughed while walking towards Lady, Trish and another girl dressed as a witch – obviously the one in charge for the haunting on their group. “I’m happy you ended up with Lady and Trish, though!”
“Oh, yes! They helped to keep me alive!” Kyrie giggled back, finally letting go of you – but keeping a tight grip in one of your hands. “Lady gave me a gun so I could defend myself too, but they did all the work.”
“Oh, right. Sometimes I forget Nero teaches you his craft.” You answered in a solemn demeanor as you both approached the group. “I thought he would end up with you, though.”
“I am praying he ended up with Nico. She is good, but even if she doesn’t admit it, she needs someone to protect her too in all this… Mess.”
“I’d say mess is too kind of a word for all of this.” Trish sighed, leaning on the guardrail alongside Dante. “It’s never good when humans try to mess with demonic things they don’t fully understand.”
“At least we knew what we were looking for.” Lady seemed tired, leaning by Dante’s other side. “That puzzle box is a binding spell thing apparently. You never saw any of those before?”
“Nah. Not in boxes, at least.” Dante shrugged, glaring Lady right after. “There was that demon in a mask that granted people’s wishes once, remember?”
“Oh, yeah. The one I almost made melt you, right?” She giggled while Dante just rolled his eyes – even though you could see him smiling.
“I swear they are best friends.” You felt the need to clarify all that to Amanda and her friend.
“So, he’s a half demon...?” The other girl asked while pointing at Dante. Kyrie immediately agreed. “Wow. I still can’t believe Trish is a demon and Lady is a devil hunter. And you?”
“Devil hunter as well, 100% human.”
“Not just that. Y/n is a witch like us, but super powerful! And not only that, y/n and Dante are a couple. Literally dating a half demon, Abby.” It seemed like Amanda was telling her fried about the coolest person to walk on earth. You had to smile.
“Wow, really?!” Abby looked at you in awe while you only agreed once again. Kyrie just giggled by herself. “Dude. That’s metal.”
“Well, I’m not the only one attracted to half demons.” You looked at Kyrie, making the girls just stare at her as if they couldn’t believe your words. “Nero, Dante’s nephew. She completely owns his heart.”
“You guys are so cool!”
“Kyrie!”
Before you could say anything else, though, Nero’s voice emerged from the house.
“See, airhead?! She’s fine! Told ya!” Nico pointed at the group, being followed by another young witch.
“Nero! You’re fine!” Kyrie ran to his arms, holding him as soon as they touched. Nero grabbed her by the waist spinning Kyrie around as she laughed, and he placed kisses all over her face. “You’re alright!”
“Of course I am! Had to check how my girl was doin’!” You could all swear he would never stop kissing her. “I’m so glad you’re ok, angel. I really am. I was so worried.”
“And I was worried about you…!”
“They are the worst, Sandy.” Nico confided with the witch who had them trapped before. “it’s from that to even more cheap romance.”
Before any of you could answer, Nero held Kyrie’s face for a long kiss, while flipping Nico with his other hand. A classic.
As you watched the crew getting back together, you saw how the coven of young witches was so starstruck with all of you. Remembering Amanda’s words, you understood where her search for power to protect herself came from – how it looked like they just wanted to have a group where they could live peacefully without having to worry about being hurt.
“Hey, Amanda, you said you girls did all of this because of bullying, right?” You finally brought the topic up, drawing Dante’s attention.
“Yeah… There’s this group of people at school who just won’t let us be. They always make fun of us for being witches and such, we wanted to teach them a lesson.”
“We didn’t mean to hurt anyone!” Sandy immediately jumped in the conversation. “We just wanted to scare them so they’d leave us alone, you know?”
“It seemed like a good idea when we found the spell… We didn’t know how much power we needed to actually make it work.” Abby sighed, looking ashamed after all that happened.
“Hmmm… I have an idea to help you.”
“Really?” Dante leaned towards you, interested in what was going on in that head of yours. “What’s it, babe?”
“Well… Vergil isn’t back yet, right…?” You side eyed Dante, a shadow of a smile hidden in your lips. “I think we can put the Dark Slayer to good use today.”
Dante didn’t even have to hear the rest of your words. Using Vergil to scare a couple of teens? That was already entertaining enough to him.
*
The house was dark and ominous. The group of teenagers found themselves locked in a room that looked like a torture chamber, needing to complete a puzzle to get out. Some of them made fun of the ones who were too scared, others were unbothered and just wanted to leave.
It took them some time, but the key was found in a cubic puzzle box, freeing them from that room. Soon, they were in another room that looked like a mortuary – filled with dead bodies and screams in the dark.
“Oh, c’mon! This is so lame!” A girl pointed at one of the props, laughing at one of the scared boys. “You can’t be scared by this!”
“I just don’t like looking at it!” The boy rolled his eyes, ignoring as she played with the props. “It doesn’t do well for your mental health!”
“Ooooh, he’s a scaredy cat…!” She patronized him, making others join the choir of shame.
“Yeah, make fun of me. I’m gonna laugh when something scares the shit out of you, guys.”
As soon as he said that, one of the other boys jumped back while trying to cross a door.
“Dude, shit! Don’t do that!” He kept one of his hands over his heart, slowly walking back as the ominous figure entered the room.
Vergil stared back at the group of teenagers with the cold look in his silvery eyes – which was enough to freeze them in place and dare not ask him anything. Looking regal and threatening as always, he didn’t say a word while just staring. Menacingly.
“Ok, you’re a good actor, we get it!” The girl who swore she wasn’t scared of nothing still tried to play it cool. “Cut it out!”
Vergil still didn’t say a word – just glanced back at her. That made her, and the whole group, understand they were in actual danger. He wasn’t just an actor.
“Let’s leave. Now. C’mon.” One of the guys started to shove the group to the door, slowly leaving while still staring at Vergil.
“Hey, you jerk! It’s just Halloween, you don’t have to get like that!” Another girl of the group was too scared to leave without saying something. “Go to hell!”
“I have been there…” Vergil’s words weren’t loud but were enough to cut their soul like the sharp blade of Yamato. Glancing back at the group of teens, Vergil’s eyes suddenly lit up in blue, a pair of fangs appearing in his mouth while his fingers turned into claws – voice now distorted by his demonic heritage. “Maybe it is time to take you for a visit and teach you all a lesson.”
“Dude, what…?!”
Before any of them could finish speaking, though, Vergil’s doppelganger appeared behind him – a phantasmagoric image in blue, while the man in the room slowly unsheathed his sword; it was too sharp and bright not to be real.
The group screamed and horror and started running in panic, screaming at every jumpscare meant to get them by surprise while touring the house. Vergil just walked after them, his doppelganger calmly following his footsteps.
“Help! Someone help us!”
“What the hell! Help!”
“Where’s the exit?! He’s getting close!”
As the group ran desperately to exit the house, they almost stumbled into each other when they saw the door that would get them out of there. Screaming while leaving, they looked back only to see Vergil still followed them relentlessly – his doppelganger as an ominous aura.
“C’mon, dude! Leave us alone!” Now one of the girls cried, while it seemed Vergil would never stop – and was more than ready to use his blade.
“There he is! Don’t let him go!” Amanda pointed at Vergil, as the other witches from the coven held hands and chanted something in Latin. “It is time to send you back to Hell, demon!”
“You?! What?!”
“You guys need our help or not?!” Abby asked the boy who tried to argue with them. “He’s possessed! Do you know how to deal with it?!”
“No! It… It isn’t… Real…?”
With those words from another girl, Vergil growled, getting in position for a judgement cut – his doppelganger following him.
“He’s pretty real! Help us, please!” The boy who was previously scared was the first one to say something.
“Don’t worry. We can deal with him.”
The coven moved their hands while chanting their Latin words at Vergil. He seemed to resist for a while, struggling before finally bowing his head and taking a deep breath. The girls didn’t stop the incantation until he straightened his back, the doppelganger disappearing behind him.
As Vergil opened his eyes, their silvery colors were back – claws and fangs gone: a perfectly normal human.
“Thank you for ridding me of that demon.” He slightly bowed his head as you appeared running towards him from behind the coven.
“Vergil! You're alright!” You sighed, holding one of his hands while he just smiled back at you. “I was so worried… Thank you, witches. He wouldn’t be ok if it wasn’t for you.”
“It’s ok. If something else happens, give us a call, ok?” Sandy smiled as you both just thanked once more and left – their bullies watching everything in awe.
“Wow… Really? That’s… That’s all true…?” One of the guys asked while watching you leaving, still scared of Vergil.
“Thanks, really… You guys kinda saved us.” The bravest of the girls admitted, finally feeling remorse for mistreating them for so long.
“It’s fine. Just don’t ever mess with us again, capisce?” Amanda asked back, one of her hands on her waist – just like you used to do in that mess inside the Carnival. “Or else, we’ll turn you into frogs.”
“Ha, you can’t do that!” A boy from the group laughed as quickly as he looked back at them with fear. “Can you…?”
And they did the right thing: didn’t answer – just left the group of bullies with questions and fear, while heading towards a candied apples booth to celebrate their newly acquired power.
“That was one hell of a good idea, babe.” You heard Dante’s voice behind you, right by your ear as you all watched the coven’s victory over their bullies. “Gotta admit. Those bullies will never mess with ‘em again.”
“Hope so. They deserve some peace.” You looked back at Dante, placing a quick kiss on his lips. “You deserve it too, Dante.”
“Hmmm. I already have you.” His arms wrapped around your waist while you two watched the girls celebrating in the distance. “Got all the peace I need.”
“I’m happy to hear that.” You giggled in return. “You know, I felt like dating a rockstar for real tonight.”
“I can be your rockstar any time you want, babe.” With those words, Dante muffled another one of your giggles with a kiss.
“See? Told ya they’re worse than us!”
And of course, Nero’s voice had to interrupt you. Holding Dante’s hand, you two got back to the group, following the crew around the park and continuing your Halloween fun – you both deserved it.
Before entering the next attraction, though, you held Dante by his coat’s collar, pulling him closer to you until your lips were almost touching.
“Just one thing you got wrong, cowboy…” As he would question what the hell was all that, you kissed him once more. “You’re always my rockstar.”
Dante couldn’t stop himself from smiling in return. Entering the haunt with one of his arms around your shoulders, that was already the best Halloween ever for him. It was nice to be recognized as a hero for a change – but to be your rockstar?
Well, that was priceless.
#devil may cry#devil may cry imagine#devil may halloween#dmc#dmc imagine#devil may cry fanfiction#dmc dante#dmc vergil#dante sparda#vergil sparda#dante x reader#dante x you#it took a while but here it is!#I had a little too much fun imagining Vergil scaring a couple of teens though#and Dante fits so well with the rockstar look#I could imagine him like that all the time ^^#happy halloween devil hunters!!
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You know? I really ponder at times that if scream was totally remakes, who would the characters be.? So I thought of some of my fan cast..
Billy Loomis energy giving people:-
People who give off Stu's energy
who feel like a Sidney :-
Then there is our YN:-
Plus Randy:-
I ain't gonna lie I'm a stubborn old 80 year old man in a 26 year old woman's body and would be like 'I hate it' before I ever watch it if they remade Scream ☠️😭
(Same with The Lost Boys or House of Wax and ESPECIALLY Near Dark bc no one can play Severen but Bill and I just know modern Hollywood would fuck it all up)
The only remakes I like as much or better than the originals are Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003, My Bloody Valentine 2009 and Hellraiser 2022. (RZ Halloween was good but not on par with the original imo)
REGARDLESS OF MY STUBBORN ASS HANG UPS
This list is interesting!
I love the choice for YN ♡♡♡ (I leave her pretty faceless bc sometimes she's me/reader, sometimes she's a random actress, sometimes she's completely faceless and ik it's like that for a lot of you BUT that actress is a damn great choice if this was ever a movie! I WISH!)
Ngl I don't know all the actors. I think Jamie could make a decent Billy both look wise and acting while adding his own flare to it!
Skeet and Matthew played them SO well even down to tiny micro acting choices like Billy's voice hitching when talking about his Mom or Stu fucking spitting he's rambling and excited so much that it's damn hard to replace that and I think Scream knows that that's why they keep adding to the franchise instead of doing a remake after over 25 years.
ANOTHER CONTENDER! With Jamie as Billy, Speaking of ST; I would also suggest Joseph Quinn for Randy. I am so serious. Eddie freaking out reminded me of Randy freaking out in the video store and Joseph could play nerd very well. IDC if he's 'too old' Jamie Kennedy was fucking 26! And arguably, Joseph has more of a youthful 'baby face' to pull off a teen than Jamie did!
Randy just cut his hair, make him nerdier and rave about horror films instead of DnD or metal. This is such Randy energy when talking about the rules of horror if he made a mistake on it like Mindy did in 6 or just explaining it in general
Randy (Just lose the hair and rings that ILsm 🥲) :
Tatum even though lookwise is more Sydney Sweeney; energy wise it's Alexa Demie as Maddie. AGAIN, if she can play a 17 year old once when she's in her late 20s/30s she could easily do it again
OR
The actress from Fear Street!! Vibes for me top all else
Tatum:
Ryan Gosling can play lovable himbo and fierce protector easily
Dewey:
Gale I have no idea!!
But your picks for Sidney, YN and Randy I agree with and Billy and Stu has good picks but I'm iffy on who could bring that same energy 😭💯
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Get to know me
My name is Melody. I'm 33. I've been a Stranger Things since early 2017 and an Eddie Munson stan since May 2022. Writing requests for Steddie x reader, Steve x reader, Eddie x reader, Steve x Robin x reader are open! (Platonic Robin and Steve only.)
My former tumblr username was MelodyLangdon
About me: I’m a passionate concert-goer, a horror convention junkie, and a Halloween lover.
My favorite series are SAW, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, American Horror Story, Scream, Nightmare on Elm Street, Paradise City, South Of Nowhere, Rob Zombie’s Firefly family trilogy, and Hemlock Grove. I love thrillers and horror books and my favorite authors are Richard Laymon, Jack Ketchum, Megan Hart, Anne Rice, JRR Tolkien. My top favorite bands of all time are Type O’ Negative, Bullet For My Valentine, Otep, Manson, Rammstein, Motionless In White, Ice Nine Kills, Arch Enemy, Kittie, David Bowie, Motley Crue, Poison, Butcher Babies, Children Of Bodom, Apocalyptica, Raven Black, Straight Line Stitch, Depeche Mode, The Cure, and Ghost. Metal, punk rock, nu metal, thrash metal are my favorite music genres. The Soska Twins, Eli Roth, and Mary Harron are my favorite directors. My top favorite movies are American Mary, American Psycho, American Satan, 10 Things I Hate About You, Girl Next Door, Strangeland, Mistress Of The Dark. The coolest celebs I’ve met are Twiggy Ramirez, Tobin Bell, Manson, Otep, MIW, Butcher Babies, Elvira, Bill Moseley, Sid Haig, and Felissa Rose. My favorite actors are Keanu Reeves, Joseph Quinn, Joe Keery, Heath Ledger, Cody Fern, Bill Skarsgard, River Phoenix, Blake Lively, Megan Fox, Susan Sarandon, Amber Tamblyn, and Margot Robbie.
I follow back any active Stranger Things blog/fan who interacts with me and is 18+. Ask box/inbox open to questions/asks. Minors, creeps, bots, and anyone who’s intolerant towards women, any racists, any anti- POC/WOC and anyone exclusive of any part of the LGBTQIA+ will be blocked no exceptions. Intolerant of intolerance and my blog is a safe space.
My favorite Stranger Things characters are Eddie Munson (obviously). Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, 001/Henry Creel/Vecna, Joyce Meyers, Dustin Henderson, and Argyle.
Favorite ships and couples of ST: Steddie, Chrissy/Eddie, and Nancy/Eddie/Steve/Robin (the fruity four).
I write and take requests for Chrissy/Eddie/reader, Chrissy/Eddie, Eddie/reader, Steddie/reader, Steve/reader, Robin/reader/Steve (platonic Steve+Robin ONLY), Chrissy/reader, and Eddie/reader/Corroded Coffin groupie.
Works in progress/completed: My first Eddie/reader fic was rockstar Eddie x reader headcanons. I have also published 2 Steddie/reader holiday fics on ao3, an Eddie/Chrissy/reader oneshot, Stobin/fem!reader, and a cheerleader reader/Eddie 3 part series. My ao3 username is MelodyLangdon. My next fics to be published will be an Eddie/reader/Corroded Coffin groupie. Rockstar Eddie/fem reader fic series in progress.
18+ only and preferably 21+ following me/interacting + reading my fics. No exceptions.
My newest fics:
Steve/fem!reader/Robin https://archiveofourown.org/works/47570095
Older rockstar Eddie x younger fem!reader https://archiveofourown.org/works/47570314/chapters/119891428
My profiles/socials: https://bento.me/melodymunsonharrington
Masterlist: https://melodylangdonmasterlist.blogspot.com/2020/03/fanfics-masterlist.html
Moodboards: https://melodylangdonmasterlist.blogspot.com/2023/03/moodboards-for-stranger-things-fics.html
More moodboards: https://melodylangdonmasterlist.blogspot.com/2023/03/cody-fern-character-moodboards-for-fics.html
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H6 is objectively a pretty bad movie, but I can't help loving it for how fun it is, and for how Michael is so obviously angry the entire time. Man is just pissed the hell off lmao. He almost breaks out running at one point. He explodes a dude's head and crushes another's. Paul Rudd as Tommy Doyle is so much more enjoyable than Anthony Michael Hall in Halloween Kills. Loomis is kinda cool. And the last twenty minutes or so just frickin rocks.
(this is me from the future. I wrote a whole lot of mindless opinions about HKills and Ends for some reason which really wasn’t relevant to your ask and I’m sorry. I put a tldr at the end where I got back on track)
oh man I could talk for… some time about HKills/Ends and my thoughts on them lmao. I enjoyed them as a movie, enjoyed the experience, came out of the cinema and enjoyed them, but I think as I processed them it hit me just how badly they (personally) fit into Halloween for me.
I loved Halloween 2018 - I felt that, considering it was still a revival/reboot of a franchise that’s already been milked drier than a geriatric cow, it was well-paced, engaging, the plot was thoughtful and everything about it was fun. we had a return to Michael being a careless killer (and weirdly playful - putting sheets over things, messing about like he did in the OG ‘78 film) and we also had what I think is a really interesting idea between him and Laurie. I do like Halloween 2 and I think the idea of them being siblings is fun but personally the idea of them being entirely unrelated makes it so much scarier. she was just in the wrong place, wrong time during H78 and was the unluckiest person there to receive the full brunt of Michael’s attention.
in 2018 it shows just how much this got to her - and the film looks at the idea people had of Michael targeting her because she was special, or a sister, or anything - and makes fun of it. or at least that’s how I interpret it. Laurie is convinced that Michael wants her for some reason, and in 2018 she makes it her life goal to prep for his return, to prep her child and her house for him, she lives on full fear. and yet when he breaks out… (and it wasn’t even out of his own volition but rather someone broke him out on purpose)?
he doesn’t go for her at all. he takes his anger (if you’d like to go that route) out on Haddonfield in general, and Laurie is still so convinced that it’s about her that she puts herself directly into his line of sight and that’s when he starts attacking her again. it’s a really interesting idea I think, and this, plus the way 2018 returns to Michael as some unknowable and entirely undefined character - is he thoughtless, thoughtful, evil, mindless, supernatural, human - these ideas get thrown out of the window again when HKills and Ends roll around.
again I’m not saying people shouldn’t enjoy them. it’s half 1 in the morning and I’m rambling about my personal thoughts on the matter, and I did think they were fun films. I just wish that energy and concept got put into making a unique horror film for once and not continually revisiting H78 because I didn’t think it really fit in with what Halloween was about. but to get to what my point is here - I agree with the Paul Rudd/Anthony Michael Hall thing. I do think Kills was interesting because you could compare the trauma Laurie went through to the trauma Tommy went through but the film decided to make her look like some badass recluse, and to make him look like a mindless asshole. without any real point to it. I think Tommy did a lot better with receiving an aged-up adaption that was around Rudd’s age in H6, because it puts him in contrast as the child to Laurie’s teen babysitter. but anyway
also also but re: ‘Laurie thinks she’s special and Michael doesn’t even know who she is’ - whether you loved, hated, or entirely ignored Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022, I think it did a funny job of (imo) making fun of Laurie for this mindset she has. Sally is pretty clearly a copy of Laurie in that she’s grown up as a badass old lady who’s ready to face her young trauma and yet, when she’s directly face to face with Leatherface, he just ignores her and fucks off entirely. which is exactly how H2018 treated the connection between Laurie and Michael. non-existent on Michael’s side beyond a random game on a random victim, and only formed in any real way through Laurie’s trauma and fear. gonna say imo again but if the Halloween 2018 trilogy series really wanted to focus on trauma, and the ghost of trauma, and Michael as a ‘ghost’ manifestation of this… that would’ve been a much better route than making Michael fool around with some dude in the sewers. anyway
if you somehow read all of that welldone.
tldr
THANK YOU anon I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on H6 because as you can see I focus more on the other films than that one, so I really really enjoy it when someone talks about their thoughts and opinions on a film. I know that H6 did get praise for Pleasance and his (last? I think) appearance in the film. I think he got a bit silly in some of them, and not in a bad way, but like Leslie says - every killer needs his Ahab, and although it probably got stale after 6 movies I always really enjoyed watching him going after Michael and be just as nonstop as Myers is. I’m gonna go rewatch H6 later and I’ll keep your thoughts in mind, so feel free to drop any thoughts you have anytime
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I’ve only seen the first texas chainsaw and I absolutely adore it, but I’ve been told that all the sequels (except maybe the 2nd one) are total garbage and not worth watching. thoughts?
I think a movie can be 'garbage' and still be fun to watch! Texas chainsaw massacre 3 and the next generation are OK they weren't bad just a little boring to me personally.
The 2003 & 2006 movies with Andrew Bryniarski as Leatherface are really good imo.
Texas Chainsaw 3D is up there as one of my favorites in the franchise as long as you forget about that really cringey one liner Heather says near the end.
Leatherface (2017) is the worst in the franchise and not even worth watching genuinely don't bother, and the most recent 2022 Remake was also OK and just overly hated, i mostly saw people complaining about how unlikeable the victims are but tbh the entire point of the victims in the Texas chainsaw movies are to the unlikable stereotype young adults from the time the movie takes place (1974 being hippies, 1986 being yuppies, 2022 being influencers)
#ask#anon#tcm#texas chainsaw 3d is one of my favorites i think aside from the one liner its so good and i have a big soft spot for it because#gunnar hansen (the actor for the original 1974 leatherface) made a cameo as a member of the sawyer family at the beginning of the movie#which came out just two years before he passed away#it has a big soft spot in my heart and is overly hated. i liked dan yeagers leatherface#also funny seeing the development of people saying the 2nd movie is good. which it is! because it used also be overly hated due to being#a comedy. though its mostly annoying movie buff bros who dont like it nowadays#i think you should watch all the movies! except leatherface 2017.. save yourself an hour and a half it sucks im so serious#i love ranting and raving about tcm
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🙅♀️🔪👿 for the ask game !
🙅♀️ = what genre of horror/type of horror movie do you refuse to watch?
— exorcism movies! i love the exorcist but i feel like (especially in recent years) the subject has got really stale, there's nothing inventive coming out of exorcism movies so i've decided to steer clear of any more
🔪= who is your favourite horror villain/antagonist?
— leatherface, specifically original timeline leatherface, is one of the most interesting characters in all of horror to me. i love love love the 1974 version so much so this is definitely a biased pick but that's my boy <3
👿 = horror movie character you would fight in the 7/11 parking lot?
— i'm trying really, really, really hard here not to say a child or a doll/toy character because they seem like cop out answers. maybe dorothy from valentine? i have a love/hate relationship with that movie and try not to take it too seriously but she annoyed the absolute Fuck out of me. otherwise i'd fight every single character from texas chainsaw 2022 because they have no business being considered part of the franchise
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HORROR MOVIES WATCHED 2K22
‼️ Disclaimer ‼️ these are half baked opinions that, in the end, do not really matter, and have no effect nor hold any judgement on if you enjoyed/did not enjoy the same movies. I have no critical thinking skills and the number rankings are frivolous at best. YMMV. Have a good day. I love you drink some water. Be cool.
TO BE UPDATED
SPOILERS AHEAD
COMEDY-HORROR
Not everyone enjoys the hack n slash and brutality of other horror types so let's start with some lighter movies for those folks:
HOLLYBLOOD (Netflix) - 7/10
Spanish (dubbed) Twilight parody turned very very very light thriller. Literally, Hollyblood is the in-universe name for a Twilight movie. Has the most supportive dad to exist. "He's confused but he's got the spirit" in human form. CGI is minimal and cheesy, practical effects are cheesy and silly as hell. A good time. Desperate teen love, and nuns. Guys wearing eyeliner. A+
THE BABYSITTER (Netflix) - 9/10
Always a sucker for an Evil Barbie. Has some of the most bloodthirsty teenagers in it who can also be wholesomely supportive of the kid they're trying to kill. Found Family in reverse. So much blood and a good amount of gore. Loses a point for the kid wanting to be a cop tho.
MY BEST FRIENDS EXORCISM (Amazon) - 10/10
Trauma and backstabbing everywhere, just like real highschool. Adults not caring about their teenage daughters, just like real highschool!! Bash from GLOW teaching kids about lifting weights for Jesus!! Just like real highschool!!!! For real tho the 4 main characters are all pretty insufferable in a realistic way and the more horror the movie turns the less i think Bash from GLOW was told it was a horror movie and not a straight comedy.
CLASSIC HORROR/THRILLER
Blood n gore and monsters and sometimes magic:
THE PRIVILEGE (Netflix) - 0/10
Idk what the fuck even happened in this movie. Nothing happened and nothing mattered. Don't ask too many questions cuz they won't answer them. Maybe ghosts? Maybe demons? What was with the old lady?
BLAIR WITCH (2016) (Netflix) - 0/10
Why did we watch this we hate found footage this made no sense IF EVERYONE DIED WHO FOUND THE FOOTAGE
NO ONE SLEEPS IN THE WOODS TONIGHT (Netflix) - 4/10
A Polish (dubbed) kids-at-camp type movie. Mostly disappointed in how the fact they were at a tech-addiction camp never came into play outside of not having phones, and a lot of the deaths felt anticlimactic. Also aliens? Not much CGI use and one or two of the practical moments was cool. Gain points for hilarious mannequin head toss and Jurek's death scene.
THERE'S SOMEONE INSIDE YOUR HOUSE (Netflix) - 7/10
All the gays live. The killer is not who you'd probably expect but exactly who it should be. Kids trying to survive high school. The killers motives made no sense after the first two murders.
ELI (Netflix) - 7/10
Not really a horror movie? Nothing scary in it but some predictable jump scares. Cool movie anyway tho. Netflix is lying about the 'heart-stopping scares'. Medical horror, maybe.
INCARNATE (Netflix) - 8/10
Short (84 minutes) sweet and to the point. Did its thing and ended. Inception but Demons, hosted by Mr. Batman Two Face himself. Genuinely want more.
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2022) (Netflix) - 8/10
Gentrification Is Bad and Influencers are Fucking Annoying: The Movie. Lots of blood and screaming, loved the inclusion of school shooting trauma. Party Bus massacre best massacre. No magic no monsters just a pissed off dude committing murders in the name of his mom and town.
THE RITUAL (Netflix) - 9/10
Andy Serkis's movie about why camping is bad and he's right to say it. Fuck hiking. Norse mythology, cool monster, cool visuals, cults, guilt, friends fighting, compasses spinning in circles, all the good ingredients a horror movie needs.
THE OLD WAYS (Netflix) - 9/10
A somewhat realistic take on someone not believing there's a demon inside them. Cool visuals and effects, definitely had my gag reflex activated strongly at one point. The end is not the end and then there's the REAL end that is SO MUCH BETTER than if they had stopped ten minutes before. Main character ends up badass af. Based in Mexico.
HELLRAISER (2022) (Hulu) - 9/10
Confused on the rules but doesn't matter because Jamie Clayton and cool monster designs. Everyone gettin' off on torture. it's a good time. Love all the skin peeling, it's like helping mom with the potatoes on Thanksgiving
A LIL DIFFERENT
Focused more on the mystery and story than the amount of gore scattered around (not that there's NO gore mind you):
THE BYE BYE MAN (Netflix) - 0/10
Yes we watched this because of the name. It should probably go under the Classic Horror style group but because of how hard it failed at feeling like horror it doesn't deserve to be there. The entire budget went into getting Carie-Anne Moss for the last half hour and honestly she's the best part of it. There's like?? No blood?? Would get two points for the cool little girl who saves her family by not being able to read in the dark but not even that can reclaim how bad this was. 3 college kids dick around and the killer does NOTHING the whole movie.
FEAR STREET trilogy (Netflix) - 10/10
Yes loosely based on RL Stine books. Don't worry, the Gays win in this one. All three movies NEED to be binged together honestly imho, separately they fell weird and disconnected. Great story and mystery, the time jumping is great and reveals so much information, Josh and Martin need to be protected and cherished at all times forever. Lots of violence and blood, gore is few and far between.
#horror#Halloween#movies#media#Netflix#2022#horror movies#nic reviews#hellraiser#Texas chainsaw massacre#Hulu#Amazon
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i hated texas chainsaw massacre (2022) with all my heart. like wtf was that “one move and you re cancelled” shit. was that supposed to be funny? was i supposed to laugh? not funny. annoying as shit, actually. and the fact that they left with one of those self driving cars? so cringe girl how can you leave that place while absolutely FLEXING on everyone there💀 what happened to jumping in a random man’s car to escape while hoping he isn’t one of the sawyers
i will forever hate the modernization of horror movies
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so i need littel help, I wanna have a movie Marathon day at Halloween. And just more to wacht, soooo what is your favorit scary movies? or movies for Halloween season? pretty pleas:3 Thank you, and have a good wahtever time.
i usually just watch whatever the girl puts on. and then 20 minutes in we end up fucking.. so.. i'm not a good person to ask for movie recs
ooc// BILLY IS A LOSER BUT I LOVE THIS QUESTION SO I'M ANSWERING IT. Super long kind of info-dumpy spam of movie recs below the cut! Happy Halloween!
My two favorite halloween/horror movies are Scream (1996) and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006). Scream is a classic, I don't have to talk about that one. But Billy and Stu are sexy and I love that the film subverts expectations by giving us 2 killers instead of 1.
TCM (2006) is a prequel to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) and you could watch them in either order to be honest. They're both great. I just prefer 2006 because Thomas (Leatherface) wears a half-mask in that one so we get to see his eyes and his glorious hair. Sexy chainsaw man go brr. And naturally I love The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) because I love Bubba and Nubbins. And the door slam scene and the chainsaw swinging scene and the 70s fashion and the grab/hook scene. Ugh. Amazing. That being said, the ableism in the beginning it rough to watch if you're sensitive to it. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) is kind of.. not great. It's watchable, but you'll probably not like any of the main characters and they made Bubba a Michael Myers clone which ruins his character. I'd say you probably won't like this one if you like the other TCM movies. If you like Halloween you might like it though? Watch this one first if you want to like it.. lmao.
I also suggest Hocus Pocus for a halloween movie because it's a classic and I love the witches.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) fucking sucks; don't waste your time unless you're really dedicated to seeing Johnny Depp in a crop top for like 3 minutes.
The original Halloween is also bad in my opinion, I'd recommend the Rob Zombie remake instead.
Saw 1 and 2 are really good but don't watch them if you hate being stressed out or if you don't like gore. A lot of people say those movies are torture porn and I wouldn't necessarily say that for the first two, but there's still a lot of gore in them. Not as much as in the other ones but... you know. Needle Pit. The Mask. Reverse Bear Trap.
The Babadook is really good and scary. It's very psychological. Midsommar is good too but I wouldn't say it's scary? Like, outright? Us (2019) is super freaky, definitely watch that. Jennifer's Body isn't scary (to me), but it's sexy so for sure watch that one. Orphan (2009) is really good and a prequel just came out that is ALSO insanely good and I beg you to watch both. The Orphanage (2007) is freaky and I recommend that too.
Pan's Labyrinth isn't technically a horror movie but it can get creepy as fuck and is really good. The Dark Crystal isn't horror but it can also get creepy so that and The Neverending Story could be good to watch. If you watch those two, throw in Labyrinth (1986) as well. Add in The Last Unicorn too because it has a similar vibe as the rest of them.
Oh! Black Swan is fucking awesome too so watch that! It starts pretty normal and then slowly gets freakier and freakier. Same with Oculus, though people have mixed feelings with that one. The Ward is a movie that scared the ever-living shit out of 14 year old me. I don't know if it still holds up, but you can give it a go.
Train to Busan is pretty okay if you like zombie stuff. Warm Bodies isn't horror but it's also a zombie movie and one of my all-time faves. Fido I don't think is "horror" but I like that one too.
Okay, this is WAY too long so I'm stopping here, but if anyone else wants mun's opinions on horror movies, please ask.
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3, 11, 27 for the film questions !!
3. Top 5 movies
oohhhhh this is so difficult for me but i think in no particular order its gotta be hausu (1977), possession (1981), the blair witch project (1999), mulholland drive (2001), and paris, texas (1984)
11. A movie you watched mainly for an actor
any movie ive seen with mads mikkelsen in it as well as most of the paul dano movies ive seen LMAO
27. A movie you hate
uhhhh megan is missing, texas chainsaw, crush 2022, and uhhhh idk i tend not to watch a lot of movies if i know im not gonna get any enjoyment out of them
#asks#andromedabyweyesblood#slay url btw. i went and started listening to titanic rising again when i saw it kjslhsfsaklskfld <33
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episode one of nay pretending to have a podcast or perhaps some sort of serious blog where she analyzes slasher movies
"it's a film about meat." - aka there is no ethical consumption under capitalism: the movie
so Obviously i'm gonna start whatever this is. by talking abt. texas chainsaw massacre (1974) there is fucking NOTHING in this world as SPECIAL as texas chainsaw massacre i love her so much she means Everything to me she is so. just. genuinely important for horror movies like. i've seen her be called "The Mother Of All Horror Movies" and you know WHAT it's SOOO TRUE so fair she deserves it she's. the blueprint. the original. and like for better or worse tbh bc if you really look at it she didn't just like. start the slasher subgenre back in the 70s but she also. was the first remake in the 2000s like. she started the fucked up slasher remakes craze of the early 2000s like. they made the tcm reboot in 2003 and they just. never fucking Stopped that trend was her fault. arguably. most of them were at the very least unnecessary like i don't always Hate remakes but. what are you bring to the table why are you needed what are you Saying. and sometimes they bring something new but it's Worse BLACK CHRISTMAS 2006 I'M LOOKING AT YOU but actually speaking of black christmas. i love it so much truly one of my faves But. i've seen like. sources online and stuff and they talk abt black christmas and texas chainsaw like. like an alt kid who wants to Prove they're cooler than you by talking abt some obscure band they listen to. anyway. there's that like weird reversal of expectations tone to some articles and stuff where they try to say that "before texas chainsaw massacre came black christmas" which is like. OBJECTIVELY NOT TRUE?!?!?!?!? like texas chainsaw was lichrally release like 10 days before black christmas give me a break 😭😭😭 why would you lie to me like that why would you fucking say that!!! sbdjajkfksg so weird. anyway!!! i would argue that even IF black christmas had come out before texas chainsaw it doesn't have the same. level of slasher energy i guess. the same amount of influence. like. it's not like the traditional slashers that we grew used to ya know ??? so even THEN all the other movies just clearly took so much more inspiration from texas chainsaw she truly just left more of a footprint i think if the slasher genre was built upon the foundations of black christmas instead it would be sooo different. black christmas is like. a little bit uhhh smarter ?? than like. texas chainsaw and the like. there's more thinking in there w the whole peter situation while texas chainsaw is just. in your face and she's PERFECT ok this is so irrelevant actually anyway moving on
i don't even feel like i Can talk abt it bc there is SO much to say and who am i to try and say it!!!! god. the vibes of the first movie. how it feels so Real the documentary aspect of it the way it just fucking LIES to you saying it's based on a real story and it ISN'T but it does feel real god!! the sets being so organic the way it's shot the low quality and low budget just ADDS so much to it!!!! god old slashers w low budgets are the SHIT i mean it there is NOTHING like those and i feel like you can't really pull it off anymore nowadays ??? like if you have a low budget in 2022. you're done. pack it up. it's gonna be bad. but back in the day???? god and i don't know why but. god. back on topic. tcm74 just Feels so organic you watch it and you feel how hot it is how dry it is you look at it and you can FEEL it can't you. and besides the visuals (stunning) it has so much to say? it's so much smarter than you'd think it is? i could not possibly talk abt all the critique and commentary it does abt usamerica & society besides the obvious points but it's SO interesting and clever and ughhhhh when i learned the gas shortage that is one of the main plot points in the movie was actually a real common problem in the us at the time and not just a convenient plot point to get the characters in the situation we need them in. i was Sent. i was Insane. i don't know why it sent me the way that it did but.
there is also something SO COOL abt how. famously everyone remembers the original texas chainsaw to be a lot gorier and bloodier than it actually is right? like it's a common thing for people who watched it once a long time ago to think it was so much more of a splatter than it actually is. i for one watched it as a kid and i was Dead Sure it was sooo fuckin messy but it ISN'T not ONE bit not at ALL the most blood you see is literally just on sally at the end of the movie. isn't that so fascinating. show don't tell can work the opposite way in movies sometimes and the blood and gore in texas chainsaw is Implied, Philosophical, and it's so fuckin. good. that it gaslights you into thinking it's messy as hell just because it's SO intense the visuals simply Have to match right??? but they DON'T and it's SO IMPACTFUL maybe even more impactful for that innit god i love it sooo fucking much!!!!!! it's so brutal that your brain just kinda fills in the blank!!!! makes me go CRAZY!!!!!!
moving on! onto my favorite bit maybe. ? characters. god bless. i love the mandatory group of teenagers/young adults who are introduced Just to be killed off i LOVE them always and the texas chainsaw ones are especially pleasant to have around for as long as they last are they not. babes. i don't get when people go like. boohoo the mandatory group of kids that only exists to get killed off have no personality in [insert movie] 😔😔 like i don't CARE i don't care abt their personality i look at them and all i see is a bunch of little corpses who CARES but like obviously if they Have personality sure it's a nice bonus but like. who cares. the texas chainsaw kids Do have some level of personality doe i do care them except sally's boyfriend he does Nothing for me except driving the van but fine. kirk i do like him more he's alright. but PAM MY FUCKING GIRL!!!! i love an astrology bitch who has everyone's chart memorized i Love her i love sally but i just care pam so much more. not in a way that makes me wish SHE was the final girl bc i have so much affection for the kids who die. i love to see them diebrnsjjckskgjsf like. sometimes my favorite kids deserve it. not as a result of them Pissing Me Off but just bc i like them so much they deserve to go out in the best way? you know there's a lot of honor in being killed in a movie like this i think and pam? arguably? more iconic than sally. all the scenes she's in are Perhaps more iconic than sally's scenes. like. the shot of the house from below & behind pam ass first. the shot where she tries to run out of the house and bubba picks her up just as she's jumping out the door. the bit where she gets put on that hook. god. Iconique literally iconique !!!!!!!! my beloved my queen!!!! sally doe she just. my girl's jumping out of windows over and over the way she keeps screaming Iconique as well really gets in your head it's so impactful and she simply. does not stop screaming or jumping out the window. she is so relentless fr god bless and to her credit obviously the final bit where she's covered in blood in the back of that car laughing and screaming as it drives off FIND ME A FINAL SCENE AS ICONIQUE AS THIS ONE GOD!!!!! i do hate everything that's happened to her in the sequel(s) doe <3 fuck that. anyway. the man the myth the legend. franklin. my man. pam's a bit more favorite but he's a clooose second how could people ever fucking say he's annoying i have never thought he's irritatin. like. ok objectively maybe he could be a bit nagging and repetitive ok but like. wouldn't you be a bit. shook. like my man got his arm sliced by some freak and you want him to just get OVER it????? fucking insane how do you expect him to not be like a bit paranoid at LEAST abt it god 😭😭😭😭😭😭 and i don't think the other kids are always necessarely evil to him but you know when they just leave him alone once they get to his and sally's grandparents' house. that scene is so frustrating to me why would you do that to him. and then whine that he's annoying. he deserves to be annoying if anything i'm gonna kill you he did Nothing wrong. he's sooo fascinating too like obviously the movie wants to tell us he's got Something in common w the sawyers almost right.... like there's this inherent otherness abt franklin that separates him from his group and it almost seems like he has more of a connection to nubbins.... it's so inchresting..... i wish that went somewhere you know it's kinda left up in the air after the Concept is introduced it's a shame but also i like that it doesn't go further idk. idk
but Obviously the actual STARS of the show. the sawyers God i love them. i love a family i LOVE a fucked up little family more than anything else i love how much we get of them in texas chainsaw 2 i love grandpa just. being there even though he's more dead than alive but they won't let him die they won't let him go and even GRANDMA and nubbins in the sequel something so inchresting abt how they kill & eat people all the time but they won't even really record when their family dies ? like. if they won't eat it then it's not dead ?? they can't wrap their heads around someone being dead unless they eat it i think the sawyers' relationship with death is so fascinating luv
and obviously there is also something to say about grandpa and the Good Ole Days and the way they cling to him and it's some kind of metaphor for not wanting to move on from the traditions they were used to and hating the /progress/ in technology etc and it's something that nubbins touches on in the van too- obviously one of tcm's big themes in general
the way that there is no female figure no mother figure in the family (unless we count grandma who i'm sure was a girlboss but. you know. dead now) is SOOO important and interesting about them and i HATE how some sequels tried to add that female figure i feel like it just fucks up the dynamic like. there Is a reason that they had no ladies in the family to begin with just let it be that way i can't put my finger exactly on WHAT it adds but it ADDS SOMETHING like bubba wearing the grandma mask to make up for the lack of a female figure is IMPORTANT it SAYS SOMETHING they would have added a mom or made grandma alive in 74 if they had to. like. this was so clearly done on purpose like. like. i get so pissed off for no reason abt this LIKE they would have turned out different if a girlboss was in the picture ok.
moving on. drayton. beloved eldest daughter disease ridden old man. he is such a guy. he is so much some guy. i like to think he's not actually as old as he looks he just aged like absolute shit whenever he ended up having to care for his three younger brothers by himself so like. i don't blame him for being a little rough. he's so weird. he's actively part of the fucked up stuff his family does even if he might not enjoy the actual killing that much but at the same TIME he's so NORMAL like. we meet him very early on at the gas station and we don't suspect a thing we might even forget about him cause he's soooo just some guy right. he's kidnapping sally to bring her home so they can kill & supposedly eat her and yet he stops to go back and turn off the light like that's the biggest problem he's got on his hands rn. the way he's so consistently concerned abt money and stuff. like. it brings such a level of Normalcore it hammers in how much that type of violence has been normalized for them the way that despite. you know. the cannibalism and all he's worried abt money and bills like you and me and the rest of us. it's such a good clash! it does such a good job at subtly telling you. hey. look at this fucked up little family. they're just like us. you could be them if you were pushed enough. you couldn't even tell him apart from sally and her friends at first cause he's just like them. them being just like you. ain't it fuckin scary. and it is!!
and the TWINS???? HELLO. chop top is SO special i love how he's introduced in the second movie w no actual foreshadowing or anything in the original (which would drive most people up the wall) (talking about me) but still he settled in so well and he's so beloved! when you see people talk abt the og sawyers he's usually included even if he's not an actual og! and usually people (ME) don't fuckin take it kindly when new random family members are added to the original (texas chainsaw 3d & leatherface 2017 talking about you mostly. third & fourth don't really count i feel like it goes off track enough to get away w it but.) but CHOP TOP CAN STAY THANK YOUUUU 🥰🥰🥰 he's my best friend. and the only thing they say abt why he wasn't there in the first one is just. oh he was in the war. genius. stellar. of course he was in the war look he has a fucking metal plate in his head. why the fuck was HE the only one in the war but everyone else was just home. who the fuck cares. i'm obsessed w him!! obviously he fits the tone of the second movie perfectly, actually helps to bring up the funnysilly vibe they wanted, a comedic relief kind of character but if i think too much about him coming back from the war w a hole in his skull & finding his twin brother dead & deciding to put straps on nubbins' arms so he can wear him like a fucked up little backwards backpack and carry him around and talk for both of them using a different voice for nubbins and refusing to let him go. i could start to get a little bit sad it breaks my heart a little bit. it's tragic actually innit. but he CARRIES on w his stupid little hippy attitude or whatever the way he is w music the way he just has fun w bubba and takes him on a little drive and listens to the radio w him. and nubbins also comes with. i love the fucking concept
and nubbins. fucking weirdo little artist he's so fun. obviously not as funNY as chop top but he's FUN we don't get to know him as much as chop top or even like any other brother really bc the second movie is what really gives us a lot of content and obviously :/ nubbins isn't really in it :/ but one thing abt him that i feel like is kinda underrated is that he just fuckin. really sets the whole story in motion doesn't he. he's the one fucking w the corpses at the cemetery and that's the reason why sally and the gang go on their little trip to check on grandpa's grave and that's how they run into the sawyers if you think abt it it's all because of nubbins <3 the little reveal was so satisfying to me! cause you almost forget in the whole mess that at the start of it all was some weirdo digging out corpses! and then in a casual blink and you'll miss it exchange they reveal it's the hitchhiker and like. the way it all snapped into place in my brain was soooooo satisfying it's UNDERRATED i understand that like. you don't need to care abt the gravedigging at the end of the day BUT I LIKED IT UGHHHH also i fucking care that he's an Artiste i care that he's creative i care that he has a Vision i care that the implication is that he made all the cool bone furniture in the house i care that he and bubba (not sure abt chop top doe & drayton def doesn't seem to have one) have weird bracelets that kinda look like they're made from bones or teeth and like it had to be nubbins making that too right i care that he's a photographer i care that he ✨decorates✨ other places too (not just the cemetery but sally & franklin's grandparents home ALSO had that little sculpture that freaked out franklin) he's SOOO SPECIAL
and finally. last but by god not least the opposite of least actually the MOST the most important most special boy in all of texas my BELOVED my BABY BOY BABY leatherface i fucking love him so much i adore him he is SUCH a good character but it's so easy to miss i think if you watch the movie without thinking much abt it 😭😭😭 which is a valid way of watching texas chainsaw but is it worth it. no. but if you think abt him. and i personally think abt him all the fuckin time. there is so much there.... gen my favorite thing is just that he's objectively supposed to be a sympathetic villain. and i feel like at this point it's an overdone and often badly done character trope but he's fine he's OK he's wonderful. so. i love that if i go He Did Nothing Wrong I Can Fix Him i'm not just being hashtag insane but i'm actually kind of right bc that was kind of the plan. the director intended for this to happen he was building leatherface w the purpose of making a pathetic little scary guy and. it worked! so well! to me. i get it's hard to notice but also i cannot imagine missing it like. it's right there. like. backtracking. of Course he is also supposed to make you shit your little pants and he's not supposed to be. innocent or whatever. but you HAVE to grasp the. ~he's as scared of you as you're scared of him~ dynamic it's RIGHT there!!!!! it's not subtext it's RIGHT THERE most notably when him and pam see each other the first time they're both panicking and screaming! or when he just looks out the window to make sure there's no more meddling kids and then he sits down to pat his face and take a breath like he's had such a tough day :( he's having a liddol panic attack pls give him a second :( but a WAY better example to me that i don't see people bring up as often is the little moment when. after sally breaks into his house and locks him out. after she's done running up the stairs and she's running back down just as he finishes chopping up the door. the moment when he steps in and sees her basically running towards him. and he straight up gets so startled he jumps back on his heels for a second before getting his mind back in the game and starting to chase her again. like. that fuckin moment! that is so clear! bc you could chalk up his screaming at pam as him being mad but like. this. this bit is so important to me!! like /canonically/ he doesn't kill any of those kids out of malice but just out of fear? self defense? he's definitively like protecting the family from these fucking trespassers right. i Have said that texas chainsaw massacre 1974 is just Why Are You In My House: The Movie. which is a valid fucking question like for the love of god will you stop fucking walking into people's house it's fuckin illegal. and rude. i just think that it's so cool that he's scared kinda the whole time :) i think it's so cool that Arguably the first slasher is just a scared big guy i think it's so cool that Arguably the first slasher movie managed to make a very organically sympathetic villain without relying on all the cheap moves that a lot of other movies use THAT ONE OF THE PREQUELS FUCKING USES LEATHERFACE 2017 THIS IS FUCKING ABOUT YOU i have so many problems w that fucking movie and the worst crime is the fucking clichè tragic backstory that they slap on my boy like why would you go so far to try and /make/ this character sympathetic by making you feel sooo bad for him or at least i feel like that was the goal when he was already sympathetic in the original movie. like. they missed the point AND they did it wrong and i do not care for it AND WHY SUDDENLY HE'S THIS LANKY TWINKY FUCKING WHITE BOY OF THE MONTH LIKE 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 HE IS NEVER GROWING INTO THE BUBBA WE KNOW AND LOVE DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME !!!!! his Size is so. important ? and they took that away from him 🔪
ACTUALLY THE WAY HE LOOKS? HIS PRESENTATION IN GENERAL? UGHHHH SO IMPORTANT ! the plasticky butcher apron is furtherly telling you Hey This Is Normal To Them. This Is Just A Job To Them. Because They Lost Their Job To Industrialization So They Need To Do This Now To Provide For Themselves. Wouldn’t You Do The Same? You’d Have To Do The Same. You’d Need To. Hey Why Are You Scared It’s Just Work It’s Just Blood It’s Just Meat Didn’t You Like Meat? We (the sawyers) ’re Just Like You (the viewer) (Struggling, Needing Jobs, Needing Food, Poor) You (the viewer) ’re Just Like Them (the animals) (Just Meat, Get Butchered) the way that putting this normal job article of clothing in a context so fucked up has the same unsettling effect of drayton’s whole deal but it’s more effective bc it highlights one of the main points of the movie aka the equating humans to the animals we have to slaughter so at the same time it brings out the violence we commit and makes you think of it as awful in a way you’re not used to thinking of (vegan propaganda-esque) but at the same time it questions it. why are you not used to thinking like that? why can you excuse yourself when you kill living beings bc u gotta eat but the sawyers are scary for that? aren’t you both monsters then? or are you both excused? aren’t you both just hungry? anyway. as i said his size is so important to the way he. operates. ig? to the way he Scares but also it works so well w the way his characters Is. again like i said. the contrast between him looking so intimidating and him being so intimidated. i truly love it. love that he’s the youngest he’s the littlest baby but also he’s 6something ft x 300 pounds and wields a chainsaw and yet his smaller older brothers kick him around all day and he makes himself (look and sound) small when the oldest, probably weakest, least inclined to violence (alleged, arguable) brother approaches him threateningly
and the masks???? he just wears them to wear them. he’s not hiding a weird face situation like tcm03&06 (which is a liddol lame sorry 😔 like boooo what’s new) i think it’s supposed to be a means of expressing. purely a way to communicate. he can’t really speak- he’s not non-verbal like jason or michael, he simply. it’s like he didn’t learn how to talk. makes me wonder how early on did they give up on him. like definitively they did not bring him to school. so did they never teach him. where were mom and dad. was grandpa /dead/ already when bubba was little. was drayton simply unable to parent him. did they resort to cannibalism were they already cut out of normal human society when bubba was little. how old is even he ! the very fact that his /name/ is just bubba probably because it's all he could manage to say. ! the first actor who played leatherface and worked on building him as a character talked in his book about bubba’s /speaking/ process, about how he has some lines on the script, about how he talks but he just bumbles up the words into a sound that just reminds you of the actual words if you listen closely. it’s like he can’t speak but he can try to replicate sounds he hears. he does the same w animals. so it seems like he can understand but doesn’t know how to make those sounds, put letters in the right order to make them into words. it’s so cool it's so interesting. so he can’t express himself normally thru words. so he does it thru the masks :) he feels nurturing so he wears the grandma mask to make dinner for his family. he wants to be pretty like sally for the dinner so he tries looking for a mask w blonde hair like hers before settling on the pretty lady mask and putting on makeup. i just love him so much do you understand. don’t even get me STARTED on his genderfuckery on his being “detatched” from gender and just trying to look the part. like. he just has no idea how things out there are huh. i think he was just always sheltered and brought up into the violence of the sawyers household. and yet he’s a sweetheart. DESPITE that he’s a sweetie. bc i don’t know if more than any other brother he realizes that what they do is bad. segway-ing into the second movie. when he tries helping?? hiding??? comforting???? idk hard to say. stretch when she ends up in their house and he just does to her what he finds to be good. puts her bestie’s fuckin face on her face. bc maybe he doesn’t realize it’s a fuckin AWFUL thing to do hgdgfdgf but it’s helpful to him he’s used to this it’s normal to him so he does that for her. am i making any sense. can you hear me. are you seeing the recurring theme of fucking up what's normal. are you seeing the recurring theme of bubba babyboybaby my sweetest best boy in all of texas. he's baby your honor.
ummmmm anyway. so. yea. i don't know if i have any more to add so. instead i'm gonna /rank/ all the movies but it's mostly an excuse to talk shit worst to best let's Go
1- fuckin 2017. oh my god. i kinda touched upon what i hate abt it already but. like. why's he a twink. i get why he's a twink it's for the big plot twist wow reveal at the end but like why for the love of god. why's it a prequel to the original why's there a mom why does he fuck up his face to excuse the masks and the Not Talking. why did you make it so different from the tcm formula like… i understand it can get a little repetitive but i love it i feel like it should be there. there wasn't even a dinner scene. there wasn't even a surprise relative. come on. why does it feel like a devil's rejects reject. why does the first movie in the firefly trilogy feel more like a texas chainsaw than this actual texas chainsaw which feels like the second firefly trilogy movie instead. oh my god. why did you do THEE 2012 creepypasta go-to tragic backstory of Insane Asylum. i literally want to kill this movie so hard
2- the newest netflix one. Jesus. it wasn't gonna be this high on the list cause i thought it didn't do Anything for the story. like for better or worse i thought it simply had nothing to add. but oh boy. it's just so. fucking bad and lame. i almost even thought there was potential but. first of all it also doesn't feel like a texas chainsaw either but it's not as bad as 2017. secondly it takes the topic of Progress In Technology Bad but tackles it in the cringiest most boomer way like god. don't even get me started on the bus scene. you cancel leatherface? you cancel them like an influencer? chainsaw. chainsaw for the millenials for ten fucking minutes i want to Die also mask ugly i like that apparently it was supposed to look sad and pathetic almost as if it wanted you to sympathize w him but Ugly. i appreciate that it sort of addresses the original family and why there's a mother figure but i simply do not want it. this leatherface smells like jason. and the focus was on the group of kids too much and those kids sucked ass. and i'm gonna pretend they didn't fucking mess with sally. and i want to kill this movie and this franchise for the love of god let it die let it rest
3- i'm gonna start this point by saying that i feel the same level of like-dislike ratio for tcm3 tcm4 And tcm3d. like. i kinda don't care enough and the pros and cons are sort of the same. so i'm not sure how i'm gonna rate them. they might as well all be on the same tier. but i'm gonna put 3rd one aka 1990 one here. it's just so forgettable. more than the 4th bc at least that one's So fucking bad in the most batshit way it sticks w you but this one ??? like. brain empty. i don't. i'm repetitive but again i do not fucking appreciate adding family members and this one adds All the family members huh. freaks me out to see aragorn there. and the lowest point is obviously the fucking. daughter. oh god for the love of god i hate to think abt her and how it's implied that she. came to be. why would you do this you did not need to do this i swear to god. And i feel like this is where we start to lose our grip on leatherface as a character bc he is a bit too evil and scary in this one besties i'm not seeing him have enough panic attacks. one thing i like soooo much from this movie that i still remember is the golden chainsaw No. but that IS cool as shit. i remember kinda liking the bit where he puts his headphones on the girl :-) and yanks them off when she yells at him or smth :-( my bubba would have gotten startled abt it. but whatever . also the other superior thing is that whole bit where he's playing that i guess word-image association game and it's showing him a picture of a Person and he keeps trying to mark it down as Food and gets frustrated when it keeps telling him it's wrong UGHHH THAT IS SOOOO NICE AND SO COOL AND I LOVE IT!!! but everything else in the movie is shit and wrong so. pass
4- fuckin new generation. oh my god. can you believe that is a movie that got made. how did they even think of that weird illuminati subplot like what weed were they smoking Like. Hello. honestly 80% of the reason i'm not putting this at third place is bc there's no r*pe baby in this one but the bar is so low. insert mandatory complaint abt the extended family here except these guys are fuckin. insane. i don't like them. and the squad of little corpses is unbearable. having said that i can kinda vibe w how BAD!!!!!! JUST BAD it is bc i have grown to enjoy straight up bad slasher movies but the fact that this is a Bad Texas Chainsaw and not just a bad slasher makes it harder for me :( but if i pretend i do not see that… then i can kinda have a good time. they did kinda fuck w leatherface's character but in the completely opposite direction than normal this time like. dare i say he is a bit Too wimpy in this one and not intimidating enough. like it just gets a liddol bit ridiculous. but i can almost forgive everything in favor of how HARD they went with the genderfuckery i'm not gonna debate the like. morality of it? like is it offensive did it come from a good place i do Not care abt it. but i care abt bubba goin full fem baybayyyy slayyyy yassss this might be a problematic statement from me but i think this leatherface is closer to the original than most other sequels have ever gotten to. bye. not debating it
5- 3d. oh GOD texas chainsaw 3d !?!?!?! oh god. getting the obvious Timeline Makes No Sense critique out of the way immediately i'll move on to Why Is This Plot Literally A Creepypasta Wattpad Fanfic. a secret little cousin??? who gets introduced to the family tradition of Chainsaw???? hi?????? this takes my pet peeve of fuckin hate extra relatives and makes the story be all about it. + there's that fuckin terrible editing moment that. iykyk i can't remember enough to be specific but. for the love of god. besides that. i put it lower on this list bc. i appreciate it a bit more. mainly due to my beloved mutual leo hellboys who likes this one sooo much that it grew on me by proximity. and secondly bc at the very least you can tell the source material is truly understood. it's so clearly a passion project and there's so much love that clearly went into it. bringing back original cast members is such a sweet move. leatherface is quite humanized and the movie asks you to empathize with him and if he's a bit more bitter than i'd like i can let it slide bc they killed his family it makes sense if he's rude now. + the actor is……. hhoghh god. lol. it's fine
6- 2003 reboot. i appreciate a reboot WAY more than a sequel prequel whatever. i respect that they went all out and just made up a completely new leatherface & family to fuck around with instead of fucking up the character and add relatives. this leatherface is simply a completely different dude so if he has a tragic backstory and an aggressive personality and a different family it won't annoy me u know? and i RESPECT that. it's a fine movie + it's the one i saw as a kid (in fact me & my cousins just referred to leatherface as thomas) but it bears the faults of starting the bad remakes era. tcm is a trendsetter for better or worse ig
7- the beginning 2006 i like a prequel more sorry. i like to see how things came to be And i like the group of dead kids walking more AND the scene? where chloe from lucifer shoots herself in the head? and the camera goes thru her mouth thru the hole in her head to the wideshot(????) of all the kids screaming? my GOD that is one of THEE coolest fucking shots in the whole world like oh my god. bumps it up the list immediately. anyway. dumpster baby tommy hewitt i care you. this man is the biggest brickhouse in texas has cake for days long shaggy hair A Job competent as all hell cool mouthguard kind of mask?!?!! homoerotic tension with his first face???!?!?!??! my MAN!!! i'm not a slasherfucker. but i'd go as far as to say. he is Hot. anyway. fuckin hate hoyt more than most characters in history. but luda mae… oh sweetie she's so sweet… now i'll go on to broadly talk abt both movies. the cinnamontography as anticipated is really fuckin nice. i adore all the little references to the original movie i always love to see it. i love that they stuck to the formula (surprise family member! DINNER SCENE!!!!) but at the same time! this movie explains things that i don't need explained! the skin thing to excuse the mask! the weird reason to become cannibals that is just a watered down version of what's implied in the original! it's not enough to turn me off bc again. reboot can get away with more or less anything. but still
8- i'm gonna be fuckin honest it's so hard to pick between the first one and the second one. by god they're soooo close they could just be on the same step. the only reason i'm putting the original as the last in this list - and therefore the Best one - is bc. well. of course. it just deserves it. despite of what your opinion might be. so we're talking about 1986's texas chainsaw massacre 2. easily one of my favorite slasher sequels of all. it's so fuckin fun! the original had some bit of dark comedy and they decided to just go all out on the comedy in round 2 and i love them for it! the family dynamic is great chop top is fucking amazing the personality we got from all of them was PERFECT we got so much more of bubba… we got NAMES! WE GOT STRETCH OH MY GOOOOD STRETCH MY FAVORITE FINAL GIRL THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!!!! the ONLY fault of this movie is that one of the new main characters they introduced was a fucking cop. that one is unforgivable. but everyone except stretch dies at the end so it's cool ig. i love it they really knew what they needed to do. instead of making it Scarier they made it funny. just so the next sequels could try to make a scary villain out of bubba. suck my dick this movie is fucking Perfect and i love it so much
so is this it. am i finished. do i have anything else to say 🤔🤔🤔🤔 i think i've talked enough. i fucking love this movie & franchise to some extend soooo much she's everything. my final message thank you for reading to anyone who might have 😭😭😭 if i continue going insane there will be more <3 i had a Blast running my mouth. this is truly therapeutic
9- and finally. the 1974 original. i'm not gonna say anything bc i just. talked enough abt her lmao no need to explain why it's last place in a worst to best all over again. but. yeah. there she is
#texas chainsaw massacre#yes i am main tagging this.#i'll make a specific tag for this kind of posts if i do more. but for now#oh nay#:)
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Hi, I have a phobia of ghosts and was wondering if you could recommend any good horror without any ghosts or paranormal activity (e.g. possession, ouji boards, haunted things)? I love movies like Carrie but I am nervous to watch most horror in case it has ghosts so I don't get to watch that many! Also I hate axes so much so none of that if possible.
Lots of blood is good!
Sorry if this is too specific! But thank you! ❤
Here are some horror movies that you might enjoy:
Videodrome (1983)
The Saw franchise (2004-)
Escape Room (2019)
Cujo (1983)
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
Christine (1983)
The Scream franchise (1996-)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise (1974-2022)
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Train to Busan (2016)
Day of the Dead: Bloodline (2017)
Would You Rather (2012)
Hunger (2009)
Crawl (2019)
The Green Inferno (2013)
The Fly (1986)
Thank you very much for your ask :D Hope you enjoy!!
There MIGHT be some sort of axe in one of the saw-traps, I’m not 100% sure, so please be careful<3
#horror#horror movies#horror recommendation#horror recs#horror movie recommendations#horror movie#horror recommendations#horror tumblr#horror review#horror rating#the slumber party massacre#scream movies#texas chainsaw massacre#horror slashers#slashers#horror film#horror films#would you rather#cujo#crawl#killer klowns from outer space#train to busan#day of the dead#videodrome#silence of the lambs#christine movie#stephen king horror#saw franchise#the fly#david cronenberg
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i hate texas chainsaw 2022 but they did sally so dirty
#thhey just made her lauriebut like discountitned#shes cool with her cowboy hat#BUT LIKE#PLEPALSEEEEEE DO SOMETHING DIFFNRENT I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS#the only thing i liked about it is that bubba was ashamed to go back homewhich i was like thats sadkind of cool i guess
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