#and I guess we're just supposed to take them as soulmates | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

violentdelightsandviolentends · 6 months

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Honey Girl. Chapter Six.

Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three. Chapter Four. Chapter Five. Chapter Seven. Chapter Eight. Chapter Nine. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

Chapter Synopsis - You finally start to appreciate the happiness that having a soulmate brings.

Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol consumption. so much fluff.

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 5k

Author's Note - the sixth installment!! thank you to everyone who voted in my poll - I listened, and decided to make this chapter as sweet as pie, because I think we all need it. it's nice to have a little break from the angst. just a liiiiittle break though. a tiny one. as always, thank you for all of your love and support and enthusiasm and patience and kindness towards this story. so much love for every one of you. <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

"Are you happy?"

You stretch your feet further into the sand and sit up, wiggling to get comfortable on the picnic blanket.

"That's a big question to start with."

Stella laughs and closes her notebook, deciding to take a different route than originally planned.

"I just mean... be honest with me. I'm not gonna be offended if you say no."

"Do you think I'm gonna say no?"

"Do you always have to answer my questions with questions?"

You tilt your head and watch her, smiling softly.

"I thought this was supposed to be an employee performance review."

"You're not my employee and you know it."

Both of you laugh, the sound whipped away by the sea breeze.

"Then what am I, Stella?" you chuckle.

"You're basically my partner. Come on, we've done all of this together. You helped me build this business from the ground up - I couldn't have done it without you."

You go to protest, so she continues.

"I think you should be. My partner, that is. Obviously there's logistics to work out, but it'd be fifty fifty. You and I, co-owners. It doesn't feel right to me that you're my 'employee'. I'm not your boss. We're equals."

Your mind is running a mile a minute, trying to process what Stella's asking of you. Being her business partner is an opportunity you know is rare and incredibly special - and it could potentially set you up for life - but you can't help but think about the fact it's a big commitment. About home. About Bucky.

"You don't have to answer me right now - I just want you to think about it. We always talked about opening up businesses of our own. I should have asked you to be my partner at the beginning, but honestly... I didn't know if you were gonna stick around. It kinda felt like you had one foot out the door when we started."

You take a deep breath, nodding.

"Yeah. I, uh - I think I did. Don't get me wrong, I was super excited, but the idea of moving away when I felt like I'd just got home was a lot to process. I'd just settled back there, and then I was gonna be packing up all of my stuff again and shipping myself across the country. "

"I didn't realise it was so tough for you, you know. I just assumed you wouldn't mind moving. I mean, you were always up for it, back at school."

"Things changed, after I graduated. I got home, and a couple of things happened and I guess it just... turned everything upside down. Home is different now. In a good way, I think."

"You're different now, too."

You look at her carefully, half attempting to read her mind.

"How do you mean?"

"You're... more grounded. More careful. You think through everything way more than you ever did. Almost like you've realised you're not invincible anymore."

There's a feeling, when you're young, that you're indestructible. Unharmable. Broken bones mend, cuts and bruises heal, hearts and minds forget about their aches if you give them long enough.

Then one day, that feeling is gone. And you realise that you're mortal - made of flesh and blood and bones that will one day be returned to the Earth, whether you like it or not.

Meeting your soulmate is like having that realisation again, but bigger. Again, and again, and again. You don't live for yourself, anymore. You live for them. The pain they'd feel if they lost you is unfathomable, completely unimaginable.

So you become more careful. Less reckless. You drive a little slower, take things a little easier, quit your dangerous hobbies and unhealthy habits. You need to be alive for as long as possible. And you know your soulmate will do the same.

That's how you can tell a Tethered person from an Untethered one. Ask two people to go skydiving with you, and the Tethered one will tell you no. They can't risk it. It's not worth it.

Stella's right. You have realised you're not invincible anymore. You're a little more cautious when you climb ladders, you don't balance precariously on the kitchen counters anymore. You look twice when you cross the street, and don't risk it if there's a car coming and you could maybe get across.

You're also painfully aware that Bucky's older than you. He'll be turning forty in less than two years. Sure, he's not ancient, but it does mean you'll have less time together than Lacie will with Cameron, for example. And that hard truth makes you live a little less recklessly, every single day.

"I guess I just... grew up."

You're honestly not sure why you don't just tell Stella about Bucky. You know she'd understand. But there's a part of you that feels protective over what you have - territorial, even. Your Tethering is sacred, almost, and you feel the primal urge to guard it with your life. To lock it in a box and keep it away from anything that could harm it. The less people that know, the less damage that can be done. Maybe.

"I did too. The world is kinda scary now we're not in that little culinary school bubble, huh?"

"Yeah," you laugh. "We thought that was hard. Little did we know."

"Take your time, thinking about my offer. But just know that I really, really appreciate the fact that you're here. That you believed in me enough to move across the country. It means a lot."

"Of course," you say, reaching across to grab her hand. "I always believed in you, Stella. I always knew you'd do something great."

"We'd."

"Hmm?"

"We'd do something great. The two of us. Together."

"I always knew that we'd do something great," you correct.

You're starting to believe that, as time goes on. You were born to do this. You deserve to live your dreams.

Let the happiness seep through, you'd told yourself.

It finally feels like it is.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

"There's a guy here to see you."

Isabel pops her head around the door, grinning at you like she knows something you don't.

"Again?"

She nods, giggling.

"Let me guess... he's hot, tall, brown hair?"

"Bingo."

"Thanks, Isa. I'll be right out. Is it busy out there?"

"It's quieter than it was. There was a pastry rush this morning, but we're good now."

You laugh and hang up your apron, washing your hands quickly before making your way to the café.

You feel like you're having déjà vu, this situation oddly familiar.

Just like Isa said, he's stood waiting with his back to you, broad shoulders filling out his powder blue short sleeve button up.

You're excited to see Rafael again. You've been trying a new cookie recipe for his sister, and you're eager to get him to try it. You're mentally making a note to buy a nice box to put them in when you feel it.

The lights get a little brighter, the colours a little more vibrant. The tightness in your chest eases, allowing you to take a full, deep breath. You can suddenly hear the birds outside singing, melodies drifting through the open doors like a summer breeze.

The man turns around, and it's not Rafael.

It's Bucky.

You're moving before you can even process it, running and jumping into his arms. You inhale, revelling in his familiar scent. He's here. Your happiness has arrived.

"Surprise," he laughs quietly into your ear. "Miss me, honey girl?"

You beam a grin at him, pulling away to look at his handsome face.

"More than you'll ever know."

"Oh, I know. I feel it."

He places a hand over his heart gently, looking at you with pure adoration.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's been a month since your Mom's birthday. A month since I've seen your pretty face. A month too long."

You roll your eyes jokingly, so he continues.

"You don't mind that I'm here, do you? Because I'll go, if it's too much for you. I know me showing up unannounced is a lot to process."

"Don't go," you reply quickly, grabbing his hand. "I want you here, Buck. More than anything."

He leans in and presses his lips to yours, cradling your face in his warm hands. The background of the café melts away, the man in front of you the only thing that matters.

You pull away and smile at him, pressing your forehead into his gently.

"Come back to the kitchen with me. Let's get away from all the noise."

You grab his hand and pull him with you, ignoring the excited giggling from Isabel behind the counter.

Bucky perches against a counter, leaning back to allow you to stand in between his legs. You wrap your arms around his neck and peck his lips, stealing kisses in between giddy smiles.

"I hope you weren't expecting a day full of super exciting adventures. I've got a list full of stuff I've got to get finished by closing."

"Honey, I'm more than content to stay here and watch you work. There's nothing I love more than watching you bake."

You run your fingertips over his face carefully, gently tracing his features as you look at him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I don't care what we do, as long as we're together."

You wrap your arms around his middle, holding him as tightly as you can.

"I feel like I hit the soulmate jackpot," you whisper.

"No one's as lucky as I am," he whispers back. "Now, come on. Let me see you work your magic."

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

Bucky, it turns out, makes a damn good assistant.

Instead of just watching, he volunteers to help in whatever way he can. You set him onto weighing your ingredients, so you can focus on making and decorating. He takes his job very seriously, measuring down to the precise gram each time. You can't help but grin as you watch him concentrate, determined to get it right.

At lunch time, Isabel brings you both coffee and sandwiches, entering just as you're teaching Bucky how to properly fold in ingredients.

"Sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"You could never. Isa, this is Bucky. Buck, this is Isabel. Our best waitress."

He holds out his floury hand for her to shake.

"It's nice to meet you, Isabel. I've heard a lot about you."

"You have?"

Her eyes light up as she looks at you, fighting the smile off her face.

"My honey talks about you all the time."

Isabel glances between the two of you, clearly trying to figure things out.

"And you two are..."

"Soulmates," you say at the same time as Bucky does.

Her jaw drops for a moment, before she laughs.

"Yeah. That makes a lot of sense, actually."

You roll your eyes at her lovingly before Stella's voice calls her name from out front.

"I better go. But me and you are gonna talk about this later."

"Fine," you laugh.

"Nice to meet you!" Bucky shouts after her, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I like that we're just telling people now."

"Yeah, me too, actually. I thought it'd be scary, but... it feels right."

He slings an arm around your middle, pulling you into his side.

"We've still got the two most important people left to tell."

Your muscles tense and Bucky feels it instantly, running his thumb in patterns over your hip gently.

"I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm almost ready, Buck. We can't avoid it forever. Next time I'm home, I think we should do it. We should tell them."

Bucky hooks two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"Are you sure? Once we tell them, we can't undo it. We'll only do it if you're one hundred percent sure."

"I'll be ready when the time comes. It'll be a huge weight off of both of our shoulders, which I think we both need."

"Okay then," he says, kissing your forehead. "Next time you're home."

Isabel clears her throat from the doorway, smiling sheepishly.

"I can't believe I'm saying this again, but... there's a guy here to see you."

You laugh, untangling yourself from Bucky with a kiss to his cheek.

"Send him through. Thanks, Isa."

The man you were originally expecting to see this morning walks into the kitchen, envelopes in his hand.

"Hey!"

"Hey, Rafael."

He gives you a quick hug, before waving at Bucky.

"Hey, man. You've gotta be the soulmate, right?"

Bucky chuckles, coming over to shake Raf's hand.

"Yeah, that's me. How'd you know?"

"Are you kidding? You can feel it the minute you walk into the room. There's like, electricity in here."

You laugh, hiking yourself up to sit on the counter. Bucky stands next to you, arms crossed over his broad chest.

"Here," Rafael says, handing you an envelope. "We're having a gala next month, for the charity that has supported my sister. We'd love it if you could come - and bring your date too, of course."

"I'd love to," you say as you read the invitation. "Do you need me to bring anything? You know I'll happily make something, if you guys need it."

"You would?"

"Absolutely! I could bring a cake, if you like? I haven't done a proper, three tiered cake in forever. I'd love to."

"That'd be... amazing. Seriously. We just want to raise as much money as possible."

"Of course. Thanks for these, Raf. How is she?"

"She's okay. She's getting a tiny bit stronger every day, and that's all we can really ask for."

You reach a hand out to squeeze his in support.

"You know where I am if you need anything."

"Of course. Thank you, so much. I've gotta run - I've got like a hundred of these invites to deliver. But I'll see you at the weekend?"

"For sure. See you, Raf!"

"Nice to meet you, Bucky."

"You too, man. Take care."

Isa shows Rafael out of the door, winking at you on her way out.

"Damn, he's handsome," Bucky laughs.

"Isn't he?" you giggle. "Nothing on my soulmate though, I'm afraid."

"Shut up," he blushes, leaning in to capture your lips. "You wanna get dinner when you're done here?"

"Yes, please. I'll show you around my new apartment too."

"Can't wait."

There's not an ounce of tension in your muscles as you finish up your bakes for the day, gliding around the kitchen while Bucky stands and watches your every move.

If you could pause time, this would be when you'd do it. You'd be content to live in this moment forever.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

The minute Bucky walks through your front door, he inhales deeply. The entire place smells like you, cosy and golden.

"You like it?"

"It's gorgeous, baby. I love the windows."

He makes his way over to your kitchen, where the glass panes run from floor to ceiling. Sitting on the bench pressed against it, he takes in the view, savouring the feeling of the sun on his face.

You sit down on his lap, draping your legs over him and wrapping your arms around his neck. Nuzzling your face into his jaw, you press a kiss to the stubble, resisting the urge to lick the salt off of his skin.

"Come on," you murmur. "Let me show you my bedroom. The sun sets in that direction, so it's always beautiful in there."

You grab his hand and walk him across the apartment, swinging open the door to your room and pushing him inside.

He takes in the space for a moment before turning in your direction, striding over to smash his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers into his shirt and pull him closer, letting him slip his tongue into your mouth with ease.

Bucky leans in to trail kisses down your neck as he slips your shirt over your head, making quick work of unclasping your bra with skilled fingers. He grasps your chest in both hands, massaging gently as he nips at your throat.

"So fucking pretty," he murmurs. "Haven't stopped thinking about you since you left me."

You whine and unbutton his shirt, shrugging it off his shoulders. You're desperate to see more, desperate to feel his skin on yours, desperate to bare every inch of him.

Your fingers make deft work of his belt, sliding it from its loops and throwing it to the ground. You unpop his button and slide down the zipper, pulling his jeans off his legs in no time. You shimmy out of your skirt, leaving you both in your underwear.

The evening sun seeps through the window panes, illuminating the room in hues of orange and gold. The light hits Bucky's skin, making him glow in a halo of love and adoration.

He walks you backwards, wrapping an arm around your back to throw you onto the white sheets of your bed. Crawling over you, he settles in between your legs, pressing gentle kisses from your ankles to your inner thighs.

"The way you look when you come has been burned in my mind," he whispers. "Need to see it again. It's been too long."

He slides your underwear down your legs and wastes no time, diving into you like a man starved. He devours you, tongue never ceasing it's movements. His hands pry your thighs apart, one arm thrown over your stomach to keep you still. When your muscles start to shake, Bucky doubles down on his efforts, lapping and sucking at you like you're his lifesource.

"Oh, Buck, I'm-"

You see stars as you come, white and silver shapes flying through your vision. Bucky never stops, prolonging your release for as long as he can. When you go boneless, he ceases, pressing kisses to the inside of your knee.

"You okay?" he murmurs, moving so his body smothers yours.

"I'm good," you smile, leaning up to kiss him. You groan when you taste yourself, wrapping your legs around his waist.

"Need you, baby. Please, Buck."

"You sure?"

You smile at him, cradling his face in your hands.

"Couldn't be surer."

He dips down to lick into your mouth once more, shucking his boxers off and throwing them across the room. Slipping a condom on, he lines himself up, eyes meeting yours.

"I need you more than I need air to breathe," he murmurs. "You know that, don't you?"

"Buck," you breathe. "I've been going crazy here without you."

He goes to speak, but stops himself, instead leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"I know," you whisper. "I know."

Bucky slides home in one smooth thrust, both of you gasping. One of his hands finds your hip, the other resting against your throat as an anchor. You wrap your legs around his waist, arms snaking around his shoulders.

"Fuck me, please."

"Fuck," he groans. "I'll be replaying that in my head forever."

You chuckle breathlessly, gasping when he draws his hips back and forward again. He sets an even pace - not too fast, not too slow. He has you right where he wants you, both of your bodies in perfect synchronisity. It feels like the stars have aligned. Everything's fallen into place.

Bucky dances his fingers from your hip to your clit, rubbing firm circles. He plays you like a violin, your muscles tensing as you get closer.

"That's it, pretty girl. Fuck, you're so good for me. You close, honey? Gonna come for me again?"

You nod frantically as he picks up his pace, hips colliding with yours. He groans as you tighten around him, head dropping to rest against yours.

"Come for me, honey girl," he whispers. "Please."

Your back arches as you find your release, nails scratching at the skin of Bucky's back. The pain tips him over the edge, spilling inside of you with a deep groan. He collapses on top of you, both of your chests heaving.

"I think we're naturals at that," you chuckle hoarsely.

"You think it's the soulmate thing, or are we just that good?"

"I think we're just that good," you laugh, pushing him off your body so he lands next to you. You link your fingers with his, resting your head on his chest.

"I need a drink."

"I was just thinking that, actually. You wanna go out? Know anywhere?"

"There's a cute little bar that looks out over the cove - it has good food and good cocktails. You wanna go there?"

"I'd go anywhere with you," he affirms, pressing a kiss into your hair.

"I'd kill for a pineapple margarita right now."

Bucky sits up suddenly, bringing you with him, arms wrapped around you.

"Then let's go get my girl a pineapple margarita."

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

The golden lights adorn the beams of wood above your head, the deck illuminated in the gentle glow. The ocean waves break the shore in a comfortingly repetitive motion, a calming soundtrack to the evening. You sit across from Bucky at your table for two, the sunset casting orange hues across the horizon.

"It's beautiful out here."

"Yeah," you agree, smiling. "The view is pretty good."

Your eyes haven't left his, lost in the sea blue of his irises. He chuckles, running his thumb over the back of your hand where it rests atop the table.

"This is our first date, you know."

"Really?"

"I mean, we've been 'dating' this whole time - but we've never gone out and had dinner like this. Held hands and all."

"You're right. Our first date of many, huh?"

"Our first of countless," he grins, brushing his lips over your knuckles in a gentle kiss.

"Where do my parents think you are?"

"Visiting a cousin in Nevada."

You laugh, and the sound makes Bucky light up, electricity running through his veins.

"You're a scarily good liar."

"To everyone but you."

"I used to think I was a good liar. Until I met you, that is."

Just as he's about to respond, your waitress appears, two pineapple margaritas in hand. She takes your orders and leaves, smiling at you.

"Oh, shit. She forgot to give us straws. I'm gonna grab some - be right back."

You chase her inside, tapping her shoulder gently.

"Excuse me - could I get a couple of straws, please?"

"Of course. Sorry!" she apologises, handing them to you.

"Thank you! Your shirt is so cute, by the way."

"Thanks - it's thrifted! You're gorgeous, girl. And your boyfriend is stupidly hot too. You're a pretty couple."

You thank her and laugh, returning to Bucky with a grin on your face.

"What's got you smiling?"

"The waitress called you my boyfriend."

"Huh. As much as I love the commitment... boyfriend kinda sounds like we're in ninth grade, doesn't it?"

You throw your head back, laughing with your entire being.

"That's what I thought. There's gotta be a better word. Partner? No, that makes us sound forty."

"I am almost forty."

"Oops."

Bucky rolls his eyes, but he can't wipe the blinding grin from his face. He takes out his phone and snaps a quick picture of you, admiring the way the breeze caresses your face as the setting sun beats down.

"Sneaky," you tease. "Let me see?"

He hands you the phone, letting you look through. You swipe right one too many times, and accidentally land on a picture of a blueprint laid out across a kitchen counter. His kitchen counter.

"Babe... what's this?"

You don't miss the way Bucky's cheeks heat up, blush creeping across his chest that's exposed by the V neckline of his blue button up. He stutters for a moment, before finding his footing.

"They're blueprints. Plans for a house."

"A house?"

"I want to build a house."

When you keep looking at him softly, he doubles down.

"I want to build a house for us."

Your breath hitches in your chest, the world going silent momentarily.

"You... you do?"

"My Dad worked in construction my entire childhood. I watched him build houses, apartment buildings, bungalows... everything. I've always wanted to do it, but never had reason to. Until now."

You squeeze his hand, urging him to continue.

"I've been planning it for upwards of ten years. But I'm taking it more seriously, now. Those blueprints are the final ones. It's all mapped out, down to the square inch. I've made some modifications for you, obviously."

He zooms in on the picture, pointing out areas on the plans.

"I've added a big island in the kitchen with a tonne of storage in it, for all of your supplies. I know you have that huge mixer, so I've made sure there's enough space for it to fit underneath with the doors closed."

You take a deep breath, lump in your throat forming unwillingly.

"Up here, there's a window at the top of the stairs. I've added a sketch of a bench which I'll upholster, so you can sit and read in the sunlight."

Tangling your legs with his under the table, you urge him to continue.

"I've also made sure there's a balcony off the master bedroom that overlooks the garden. I know how much you love sitting on yours in your apartment at home. There's probably like a hundred more little modifications for you, but those are just a few."

Tears are running down your cheeks freely, emotion escaping you like a flash flood.

"Bucky..."

"If it's too much too soon, please tell me. I won't be offended, baby. I know it's a lot."

"It's perfect."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You jump up from your seat and around the table, throwing yourself into his lap to kiss him happily.

"I can't wait to build a house with you, Buck."

He grins at you, joy radiating off him in waves.

"Buck?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

He blinks back tears for a second, processing the words he's been waiting to hear for what feels like an eternity.

"I love you too, honey girl. My pretty baby."

He leans in to kiss you tenderly, the rest of the world melting away. It feels like it's just the two of you, floating on cloud nine.

Suddenly, you get it. You understand why people say this is the greatest thing that'll ever happen.

It is. They were right all along.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

After several pineapple flavoured cocktails and a taco or four, you and Bucky take a slow stroll home, hand in hand along the sidewalk.

"You wanna have a sleepover tonight?" you ask, digging your heels into the ground to stop yourself from skipping with glee.

"Can't think of anything I want more," he chuckles.

You walk a little while longer, content to bask in the comfortable silence.

"Guess what happened a few days ago."

"What, honey?"

"Stella asked me to be her business partner."

He stops where he is, turning to face you but never letting go of your hand.

"Wait, really?"

"Mhmmm."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I was unsure, at first. But I'm going to do it. I've been thinking about this for a while, actually. We had to take a business class in culinary school, and I actually learned a lot. I've had a business plan for the future of the café drafted up for months. Numbers, locations, investors, everything. I'm really serious about this, you know."

He's gazing at you like you hung the moon, eyes bright and adoring.

You sit down on a bench, looking out over the coastal path. Bucky joins you, arm heavy over your shoulders.

"I can't stay here."

His head whips around.

"Baby..."

"I mean it, Buck. I like this city, I do, but I just can't settle. It feels like a placeholder until I can go home. And it's not fair to Stella, if it feels like I'm half in half out."

He goes to speak, but you're on a roll.

"I'm suggesting that we franchise the business. It's the logical next step anyway, it was just a matter of choosing the right location. I'm proposing somewhere a hell of a lot closer to home. To you. To my parents. And that means we'll have one branch on the east coast, and one on the west. We can start filling the middle, in the future."

"Are you... are you sure?"

"I've never been surer of anything, James Buchanan Barnes. I wanna start my life with you. Telling my parents, building a house, furthering my career. I'm ready, now."

Bucky grabs your face in his warm hands, kissing you with more passion than you ever thought possible. It's all the answer you need.

"I want you to read over my plan, when we get back to my place. But it's tight, Buck. I've been perfecting it for months. There's no way Stella can say no - I've made it so she won't want to. Besides, she just wants me to be happy. And this... this will make me happy. Happy beyond words."

Bucky stands up, wrapping his arms around your middle to bring you with him. He spins you around, laughing when you squeal in surprise.

"I'm so proud of you, honey baby. I love you so much."

"I love you," you grin. "More than I ever thought possible."

Bucky practically carries you home, both of you giddy on excitement and hope.

You wake up tangled in his arms, sunlight beaming down onto your skin through the open window. Happiness, you think. It's finally here.

Happiness. It's finally here.

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elnathsstar · 9 months

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Listen, I am aromantic, but it's getting cold and dark and I so desperately want somebody who I can cuddle under my covers with, somebody I can teach to dance, somebody I can drag outside at night when we're supposed to be inside, and it's so cold that it could start snowing any minute, or maybe already be snowing, and then we would go and sit in the dark at the lake with the lights while listening to Taylor Swift and sharing my headphones, and then dancing around outside to mirrorball and not caring who sees us because we are so madly platonically in love with each other that we only care about the other. I want somebody to drag around charity shops while I plan my Halloween costume, and my birthday outfit, and the outfit for the various Christmas parties I will take them too- even the one hosted by the church that I usually end up just sitting in a side room watching whatever Nativity movie they put on for the entire time. The kids would ask if we were dating, and we'd just look at each other and giggle, while my parents and grandparents who are watching us bicker over an Uno game are thinking about how pure our love is. Kisses are always an option, but never pushed for, and even if the other person liked me romantically they would be okay with and understand how I don't feel the exact same way, but I still love them so so much. Like a platonic soulmate. We would share clothes, and I'd save them a piece of my birthday cake, if they weren't already there for it. We would go on walks together, and they would be one of the first people I call when the cold weather is affecting my mood or my health, and then they would come over unprompted with something sweet and a hoodie. We would both chill on my bed, not caring about how cramped it is or the fact that my bed is a high rise so we can't sit up straight, because we don't have any trouble with being close to the other, and on days where it may be hard to be physically close to someone, they would sit back patiently and read me a chapter of whatever book we had picked up, pausing to add their own witty comments and applauding me when I guess what will happen next accurately. We wouldn't even necessarily be 'dating'- and we wouldn't label what we had as romantic, despite the dates and the kisses and the cuddles, and we'd both be fine with it. We would just exist together, in the same space, comfortably.

I want to be wanted.

#but i know i wont get something like that because i push everyone away and cant stay emotionally stable or happy #and nobody wants to be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't like them romantically and doesn't want to label it as #a romantic relationship despite all of the things that you're doing which are romance coded #I want somebody to love without having to LOVE them.#But I would love them more than anyone and anything else #just not romantically.#But nobody wants that.#I want to be able to teach somebody to dance.#(I was gonna post this privately but realised some people might relate so yeah just have this lol)#aromantic #aroace #arospec

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niningtori · 3 months

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let me into your world | chapter three: our world

pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, choi soobin x you

summary: you're single again and choi beomgyu is restless.

genre(s): romance, angst, angst with a happy ending (?), soulmate au

word count: 3.3k

notes: hi........ yeah i'm super fucking impatient and literally could not wait to post part 3 NENJWKWKDOE i'm sorry! anyway idk how i feel about this but i'm tired of looking at it so i hope it's likable! also, this chapter is extremely suggestive so be warned. there's nothing explicit, but i'm still freaked out. see ending for more notes!

you do nothing but think of him. you thought your heart was done breaking after beomgyu, but you realize even without the matching seal, your heart was still with soobin. 4 years of love and commitment over and done because of a fucking tattoo. you're tempted to continue wearing your ring to work because you dread the questions that will almost certainly follow. you haven't told a soul - not even sumin - about what happened. what were you supposed to say? the love of my life didn't want me... again?

you entertain the idea of keeping it on to maintain appearances, but the mere sight of it is enough to put a pit in your stomach, so you keep it in the drawer in your nightstand. it's close enough to your bed to take out at night just to do nothing but stare and fiddle with it between your fingers. you remember the night he put it on you. you remember him promising you forever and the sweet loving that followed. you remember every word, every touch, every feeling.

you wonder if he's happy with her, but you know he must be. you two were happy enough as it was - you can't even imagine how happy he must be with the person who was fated for him. you feel envious of a woman you don't even know. what you wouldn't give to have that green seal printed on your wrist. you feel sick just thinking about it.

"you alright?" a voice snaps you back into reality. your coworker, minjun. he's cute, very cute, but you've always been committed to soobin so you've never really noticed before now. you had eyes, of course, but you've kept them trained on soobin for years now. you suppose that dedication was futile.

"uh, yeah. i'm good," you reply while hastily shoving your ringless hand under your desk. he eyes you suspiciously before dropping the subject.

"are you planning on going to the company retreat?"

"what? oh, yeah. i guess," you say, still somewhat distracted. your company is planning a retreat to celebrate the success of combining branches. you don't really want to go, but you can't stand the thought of sitting at home and waiting around for someone who will never come back. "are you going?" you ask, trying to actually engage in the conversation for fear of coming across as rude, but you don't quite catch his next words.

"i'm going if you're going," he says.

"what? sorry, i'm a little out of it," you smile.

"i said i —"

"can someone help me?" beomgyu cuts in from out of nowhere. "the copy machine isn't working for some reason."

"can it wait? we're having a conversation," minjun replies irritatedly.

"it can't. i really need to make some copies," beomgyu says urgently.

"fine, i'll help you," minjun grumbles. you're relieved that he's stepping up because you certainly don't want to.

"actually, i just remembered that sooyoung wants to see you in her office."

"what?"

"yeah, so i guess you can't help me after all," beomgyu says with a smirk you don't understand.

"i'll help you," you sigh, resigning yourself to your fate. beomgyu smiles triumphantly, but you don't see it because you're already heading towards the copy room.

"what's the issue here? everything looks fine to me," you say confusedly.

"where's your ring?" he asks, seemingly harmlessly, but it stings just to hear. you immediately forget about your question to him as you shut the machine and defensively cross your arms, feeling incredibly vulnerable.

"i'm getting it resized," you cough.

"ah, okay," he says, and it's like he sees right through you. "you have lost weight recently. are you eating enough?" your eyebrows furrow at this. yeah, you've lost weight only because you're so fucking depressed eating genuinely seems like a chore. more importantly, why does he know that? and more importantly than that, why does he care?

"why do you —"

"turns out sooyoung didn't need me," minjun cuts in, nearly bursting from the door.

"mmm, i must've been mistaken," beomgyu shrugs nonchalantly. you sense tension, but you can't fathom why.

"did you get the copier fixed?" minjun asks, completely ignoring beomgyu.

"we fixed it, yes," beomgyu says before you can even open your mouth.

"oh. good."

"yeah, she really helped me out," beomgyu says, not without snark. why is he lying? never mind, actually. you don't have the energy to care.

beomgyu can't feel your joy for once, which should make him feel relieved, in theory, but instead there's an incessant gnawing at his heart. all he wants to ask is why, why, why. and what can he do to help? he doesn't have to wonder why for much longer when he sees you walk into work without your ring on. he doesn't mean to notice it, but his eyes always gravitate to the rock on your ring finger, almost like it's taunting him with what he can't have.

he'd be an even bigger liar than he already is if he said he didn't feel some sick sense of satisfaction knowing it didn't work out with you and soobin. this is what happens when you go against fate, he thinks. the thought alone used to scare him, but he's felt what it's like to try to be with people other than you and he knows going against fate just isn't in the cards for him anymore. he tried pretty much everything after you, from casual flings to would-be serious relationships, but nothing panned out the way he wished it would.

he continues to try to worm his way into your life in the little ways. he gives you updates on bands you used to bond over and he mentions jokes you two used to share. he brings you coffee when you're tired and tries to make you laugh. he slowly but surely chips away at your indifference until you unconsciously become dependent on him. he wants his presence to be felt by you, just for him to become a little bit meaningful to you, is that really too much to ask?

the first time you actually smile for him, really smile, for the first time since he hurt you, he almost cries. as cheesy as it may seem, he honestly was unsure you'd ever show it to him again. the smile is over almost as soon as it begins, but he'll take it. he thought he'd take anything you'd give him at this point, but the hunger he has is insatiable. he starts from wanting a smile to wanting every smile. he wants to monopolize your joy, your time, you. maybe he's moving too fast, but he decides he'll tell you just how lonely he's been without you during your company retreat. it hasn't been very long since your breakup with soobin, but he won't sit idly by waiting for you to get snatched up again. no way in hell is he gonna let that happen in front of his nose again. not this time.

the company retreat is full of icebreakers, which is to be expected, but the cool thing is that the bar is open, though it's not an "open bar". either way, you're going to try your best to get plastered as soon as humanly possible. you want to, but beomgyu is constantly on your ass, monitoring every move you make, so it's hard to even get to the point of almost tipsy. you give up after two drinks and you're not even buzzed.

you want to hang around danbi, but she's currently zeroed in on beomgyu, which is a good thing because it means he can't hang around you as much. minjun makes for really good company, though, and before long, you two are off in your own world. you didn't realize how funny he is before tonight. he hints at maybe taking you out some time, but you can't say yes without knowing about his soulmate first. he tugs on the collar of his shirt and reveals an ornate golden seal on his collarbone. it's a beautiful contrast on his gorgeous skin, and your breath catches for a second when he shows it to you.

"pretty, right? i thought so too. my soulmate doesn't want me, though," he laughs softly.

"i understand how you feel," you say.

"so soobin...?"

"is not my soulmate, but he doesn't want me anymore, either." you don't know why you're telling him this, but he's being vulnerable with you and you feel a sense of camaraderie you haven't felt in a long while.

"i'm sorry. i know it's hard, but i can't imagine anyone not wanting you."

"really?"

"i'm serious, if i were your soulmate i'd never let go."

"that's sweet of you," you blush.

"even if you weren't my soulmate, i still wouldn't let go." you still at that. you honestly didn't think you'd ever hear those words again, much less believe them, but he seems to be incredibly sincere. so when his lips come closer and closer, you're prepared to let it happen. you don't know minjun that well, but who's to say you can't? here's a beautiful man who says he wouldn't let you go. it feels nice to be wanted for once, and by someone who's already tried and failed with their soulmate. who knows what could happen? you close your eyes and wait for his plush lips to meet yours, but they never do.

"minjun! sooyoung wants you!" beomgyu shouts while hustling over to you.

"shit. some other time, maybe?" minjun says, face flushed.

"definitely," you giggle. minjun gets up as if it's the last thing he wants to do, and you smile as he stretches his hand out and helps you up. none of these actions escape beomgyu. you watch as his silhouette gradually gets smaller and smaller as he heads over to sooyoung.

"what did sooyoung want with minjun?" you ask beomgyu, trying to break the silence. you still feel a little high off of your almost kiss with minjun and you're not thinking 100% clearly.

"nothing, i just pulled that out of my ass," he shrugs.

"... so that was total bullshit? what the hell is wrong with you, beomgyu?"

"what's wrong with me? what's wrong with you?"

"what do you mean?"

"i mean, if i see you two flirting again, i'm reporting you both."

"you wouldn't."

"try me," he challenges, eyebrows raised with that godforsaken shit-eating grin you've come to loathe.

"beomgyu," you struggle to muster up a shred of composure, "can you stop trying to lord over my life?"

"is that what you think this is?" he scoffs. "you think I'm trying to control you?"

"what i think," you sigh while pinching the bridge of your nose, "is that you're being a dick and i can't deal with you right now."

"alright, if i'm not a dick, how else will i get you to talk to me?"

"i do," you begin incredulously, "i talk to you every day!"

"not in any way that matters."

"has it ever occurred to you that i don't want to talk about anything else?" you inhale and exhale shakily. "please stop before i get angry."

"i wish you would!"

"what?" you question and you can physically feel the frustration rising like steam in your chest, begging to be released. as if he's in a position to be making demands. as if you should listen to a single word that comes out of his fucking mouth.

"i wish you would get angry! swear at me, yell at me, hit me — i don't care! just give me something!" you stare. you're tempted to relent and release all of your anger. your face scrunches in irritation at the implication that you owe him a goddamn thing, but just as you're about to let go and let him have it, you remember who and where you are and think better of it.

"that's enough, beomgyu," you turn to make your way back to your room. you don't have time for this. "i really don't want to—" he grabs your hand and spins your retreating figure back towards him.

"just say something!" his eyebrows are knitted in concern and his words are riddled with desperation. your patience snaps.

"you want me to say something?! fine! i hate you! i hate you, i hate you, i hate you!" you stamp your feet. your eyes begin to feel sour and the corners of your lips tense into a frown. his eyes widen and his mouth hangs open as he searches your eyes for the something he's wishing so ardently for. it feels like he's looking straight through you, just like he always does, so you break away from his gaze and your eyes focus on some fixed point behind him.

"i hate you! you... i wish you'd leave me alone!"

your words are teeming with emotion, just not the ones you're trying so hard to convince him (and maybe yourself?) they are. you look so vulnerable, so small, and so very afraid. he doesn't flinch at your biting words. his hand, so big and warm, still holds yours. his eyebrows are no longer furrowed and his dark eyes seem to lose the urgency within them. instead, they're filled with something that feels like patience, understanding, and tenderness all at once. you don't dare to put a name to the feeling, but you know it when you see it. love.

"don't you fucking look at me like that! you don't deserve to look at me like that! i hate you," you choke out with a sob. hot and angry tears begin to trickle down your cheeks and his eyes widen. gently, purposefully, he pulls you into his chest with one hand and cradles your head with the other.

"shh... don't cry. please don't cry. it's all my fault," he coos as you half-heartedly hit his chest in frustration.

"you're an asshole. you treated me like shit and now you're forcing me to talk about it. why are you making me do this?"

each point is punctuated with a "smack" against his chest.

"because i love you," he whispers into the top of your head as his fingers begin to soothingly stroke your hair. "even if i don't deserve to... even if you wish i didn't, i do. so much. and i think i always have, i just didn't know it."

"that's not fair," you strain between sobs. "y-you broke my heart."

tentatively, like he's handling glass so fragile it could break with the slightest hint of force, he unwraps his arms from your shivering frame and cups your reddened face in his hands, gently wiping away your tears. his head cranes down as he touches his forehead against yours. you look up with your misty eyes and see his gaze trained on you.

"i know, i know... i'm an asshole... it's all my fault. please don't cry. hit me harder, if you want. smack me. punch me. kill me if it makes you feel better. just don't cry anymore, okay? i can't stand to see you cry."

he sounds like he's bargaining with a child throwing a tantrum with the way his words are hushed and hurried, but pacifying all the same. in any other circumstance, you'd roll your eyes at his theatrics, but he seems so desperate to get you to calm down that you can't bring yourself to point it out. he pulls you back into his arms and you burrow your head into his chest as he rubs circles into your back. with every sob he shushes you softly and drowns you with affirmations.

i know, i'm sorry, i love you.

it's my fault, don't cry, i love you.

you stay like that for an indeterminable amount of time.

"i know i was wrong for treating you the way i did; i was young and stupid and i had no idea what i'd be missing. i know i'm being unfair, but i promise i'll make it up to you every day. i'm not going to hurt you and i won't leave unless you want me to. you're my soulmate, and i wouldn't have it any other way. i can't have it any other way. if it's not you, i don't want anyone else."

you're softening now and you hate it; you want to run away and continue to be angry. the betrayal you felt was indelible. you can still see him with a girl on his arm and you feel nauseous. you remember him telling you just how indifferent he was to you, to your feelings, to your pain. but none of that seems to matter anymore as he gently cups your face and runs the pads of his thumbs under your eyes to stop your tears. "okay," you say softly, and you don't have to explain, because he already knows.

when he takes you back to his hotel room, he promises he won't touch you unless you want him to. you want him to. you stand on your tip toes and pull him down towards your lips and his breath catches behind his teeth. he raises his hands up to your face, reminiscent of the way he held it as you cried a mere hour ago, and you giggle at the parallel. he seizes the opportunity to gently glide his tongue on your lips before entering your mouth. he groans into your lips as your tongues tease each other. you're even sweeter than he imagined you'd be, and he can feel his effect on you as he breaks the kiss and trails hot, opened-mouth kisses on your neck. this is what he's been missing, he thinks, as you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him even closer.

that night, beomgyu takes you again and again. it's more than sex - it's as if the stars aligned for the sole purpose of bringing you two together for this exact moment. you feel connected to him in a way so profound, you previously thought it was impossible. it feels like the universe put him on this planet just for you, and you for him. you suppose, in a way, it did. especially when you two are finally finished as you lay your head on his chest and feel every breath enter and exit his warm body. he cradles you in his arms and you look up at him, locking eyes. you both smile while he reaches up and tucks your hair behind your ears, revealing your seal.

"so beautiful," he whispers.

"who? me or the seal?"

"the seal, of course," he says nonchalantly, "but looking at you now, you're not too bad." you playfully smack his chest and he reacts with a comically childish yell. you hurriedly cover his mouth and shush him, but he takes the opportunity to grab your hand and kiss your fingers with an overdramatic "mwah!"

"you're so fucking loud, you know?" you tease, poking his side.

"says the one who was screaming out my name the entire night."

"i hate you," you say embarrassedly, blush overwhelming your already flushed cheeks as you hide your face in his chest.

"maybe, but you're still stuck with me," he replies.

"mhmm," you mumble into his skin - already falling asleep.

"stuck with me forever, right?" he asks, and if you weren't so intent on burying yourself into his chest, you'd see the look of insecurity on his face - his long eyelashes trembling ever so slightly.

"forever," you say as you drift off to sleep, and you're so happy, so content, he finally feels safe enough to sleep without fear of waking up in the morning to an empty bed. he grasps you even tighter and mumbles "i love you" into your hair until he eventually drifts off himself.

notes pt. 2: not the best thing i've ever written i fear... anyway do y'all wanna read the extremely corny fluff that i originally wrote for this or no? it's sooo corny but sweet i think. as always, feedback is always appreciated :)

[taglist]

@my313 @woncheecks @superbbananananana @zzhyuu @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @defnotleee @everythingvirgoes

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thisbuildinghasfeelings · 4 months

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Missing Moments I Want to Know About in 1x09/1x10

The show leaves us to fill in a lot of blanks for TK and Carlos during season 1. I always want to know more, but I think the blanks I want filled in most are the ones that occur in 1x09 and 1x10. Here are the ones I think about the most:

1.How does Carlos find out that TK is awake?

Does he find out through the first responder grapevine that the firefighter who was shot is going to be ok? Does someone from the 126 (Paul maybe?) call him? Does TK call or text him himself?

If I had to guess, I'd go with Paul letting Carlos know. Maybe before Carlos leaves the hospital he gives Paul his number and asks him to update him if anything happens.

2. What is TK told about Carlos after he wakes up and how does he feel about it?

We see TK's reaction to Owen asking about how long he's "been seeing the cop," but we don't see any further than that. I think TK can assume from Owen's comment that Carlos was at the hospital...otherwise how would Owen know about them? But does anyone say anything more to TK? Does Owen/Paul/Marjan/Mateo/Judd mention how upset and worried Carlos was or ask TK if he wants them to call Carlos to let him know he's ok? How does TK feel once it sinks in that Carlos, his "boyfriend who he doesn't even really know is his boyfriend boyfriend" was sitting by his hospital bed?

I see TK in this post-coma moment as being very much in crisis, and not just about the question of his relationship with Carlos. TK feels lost and confused about where his place is and what he wants to do with his life. I like to believe (though we don't actually have much evidence of this since there's no Tarlos interaction between 1x05 and 1x10) that TK was starting to come around and let his walls down a bit more in the time leading up to him getting shot, but then, post-coma, his crisis makes him take a step back from all that until he figures out where he's supposed to be. I think TK probably felt things when he found out that Carlos sat by his hospital bed, but I think he shoved those feelings down while he dealt with the crisis at hand.

3. What led them to the juice bar in 1x10 and how did they both see the situation at the time?

Whose idea was it to go there? Did TK call or text Carlos or was it the other way around? Had they been texting or talking back and forth at all since TK woke up or was this their first contact? What was said in the conversation that led them there? What were their expectations?

TK seems to be the one most passionate about boba so that makes me think he chose where to go. Or maybe it was a place they were planning on going together before he got shot, like TK had mentioned it in passing weeks ago and Carlos remembered and suggested that as the place they could go.

I wonder if TK thought from the beginning that he'd be essentially breaking things off with Carlos. Perhaps that perceived inevitability was why he filibustered a solid 6 minutes on boba? I get the impression that they both knew there would be a conversation about their relationship because when Carlos brought up the "elephant in the juice bar," TK immediately knew what he meant. Also, in hindsight, it is HILARIOUS that Carlos calls TK out here for avoiding talking about something. Oh, Carlos.

Side note: I wonder what Carlos' reaction would have been if TK had said that he liked Carlos and wanted to continue hooking up but still didn't want anything more. Would Carlos have said that wouldn't work for him? Because I really think at that point it wouldn't have. After the strong feelings he felt while sitting beside TK's hospital bed, could Carlos have continued being casual? Or would he have agreed to it just to keep TK (HIS SOULMATE) in his life even if it would have caused him pain?

4. What happened between the juice bar and the firehouse hug?

I feel like it's obvious that we're missing a pretty big conversation in there. The best evidence for this is the way Carlos goes face first into TK's neck when he shows up at the firehouse. That is not a man who isn't sure if they're even a "we" or who is solemnly accepting that they might not be meant to be. So what happened?? There's some great fic exploring this moment (SEE BELOW), which is where a majority of my headcanons on it come from.

I think it's clear that TK had to reach out first here. Both from Carlos' attitude at the end of the juice bar scene and from what we know about Carlos in general, there's no way Carlos was going to push any further without TK making it clear that's what he wanted. HOWEVER I could possibly see Carlos going to the hospital to check up on TK as he got his stitches fixed. I don't think he would go with any motive of getting TK to agree to a relationship with him. It would solely be about making sure that TK was alright. Even then, I'm not sure if he would do it. He certainly would have wanted to, but he might have held back based on TK's attitude at the juice bar. Carlos likely would have felt that TK might not want him there. I've definitely enjoyed fic that has him doing this, though.

Probably the most likely possibility is that Carlos simply went home after the juice bar/solar storm incident. His heart was surely shattered after being essentially rejected by his soulmate after putting his feelings out there in the most direct way he'd done so far. We know so much more about Carlos now and it just makes it even more apparent how much it took for him to sit there in front of TK and tell him how he was feeling like that when he thought it might not be reciprocated! And then, when it wasn't (at least from Carlos' perspective in that moment)...HEARTBREAKING.

Ultimately, I believe that TK had his epiphany and reached out to Carlos wherever he was (either at the hospital with him or Carlos' house or somewhere else). The conversation they had is something that I would like to see more than perhaps any missing moment in the entire series. Imagine the look on Carlos' face when he realizes what TK is telling him! As his previously-shattered heart is mended in an instant 😭 I want to see it so bad! Thankfully I have fic to fill the void. Speaking of, here are just a few excellent examples of fic that fills in this and some of the other moments I've discussed here:

silver in the night by @reyesstrand

the elephant in the juice bar by @taralaurel

Simple and Plain and Not Much to Ask from Somebody by @howtosingit

Steady up ahead by @paperstorm

Still Waters Run Deep by @welcometololaland

Just Let Me Hold You by tkstrands (is this writer on tumblr?? If so let me know and I'll @ them!!)

#don't mind me just writing a tarlos essay on a tuesday afternoon #911 lone star #911 lone star rewatch 2024 #lone star rewatch #also #FIC REC

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fountainpenguin · 7 months

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#Riddle Watches Traffic - Secret Life Session 4 POVs - This post contains Joel, Grian, Etho, Martyn, and Scar commentary

Joel POV (My first POV for this session):

Joel, the ex-Shrek, running around dropping lines from "All Star" in conversation is everything I could have wanted.

Joel: If you were a color, what color would you be? Pearl: Red.

Can't argue with that.

Lizzie: You like my path? Joel: I do. Is it going to link up with mine? Lizzie: We've got connecting paths now. Joel: I didn't realize we were that close. Lizzie: To touch paths. Joel: I know we're married, but come on... It's getting a bit crazy now.

slkdjf Joel really does not want to be touchy-feely with anyone this season huh?

Okay I switched to Grian's POV because Joel came up to the rest of the Mounders and they were all giggling and telling him to go talk to Grian, so swapping my liveblog over:

Grian POV

?? Grian's task was to bait a yellow into believing his task was singing everything he says, that feels kinda unfair to the yellows because it doesn't give them a way to call him on it, does it? slkdjf

That is really funny he needs to get someone to call him out in order to succeed, though.

Grian's really good at like, recapping and/or giving context (like pulling up his screen to walk the audience through exactly who the Yellows on the server are). Thanks G.

sldkfjs Scar singing back to Grian... They are soulmates, your honor.

Cleo, trying not to bust up laughing: How long do you have to sing for? Grian, singing: I don't have to sing! It's a choice~!

Grian chasing people and singing while they run sdlkfjsd... Mumbo like "Please stop following me! I don't want to deal with your singing anymore!"

sldkfjsd can we make a reaction clip out of Grian sadly singing, "I am mortally wounded~"

Grian is SO GOOD at this baiting game, though. Despite needing to get a yellow to guess his task, he takes off running as soon as Joel shows up, then when Joel starts talking to him he clams up. Master of manipulation; what a deLIGHT!

sldkfjs the hilarity of Joel smugly calling Grian out and then Grian takes out his book, sighs loudly, and trots off to the Secret Keeper... and hits success instead of fail. omg.

Joel immediately adding "My world's on fire; how 'bout yours?"

Grian: "You are all terrible friends and that's what I needed <3"

lskdjfsdk Scar being like "Wait, that was your task? I thought we were just being musical." Your honor, they are soulmates.

Does... does Etho have my "reference previous seasons / fake moment from previous series" task suggestion?

Switching back to Joel:

slkdfjsldkjfksdl in Joel's POV, there's a bit of lag so when Joel confronts Grian, Grian suddenly bolts across the bridge at light speed and it's hilarious.

Switching to Etho because dying of curiosity:

Etho making cute benches outside his shack.

Cleo: Oh, there there... I was going to pat you, but then I realized... Etho: Pat me with a sword? Clean slice through the head?

sdklfjsdfj househusband Etho strikes again?? Cleo accidentally whacks him with a sword and he immediately spins around like "I'm sorry- I'll do the dishes, I'll do whatever you want! No more, no more!" Love that for him.

Love how Etho said "Aha" after looking at his task even though he hadn't even received that suggestion yet.

You nerds really gonna be like "Etho and I aren't romantic" and "We're besties" and then put a single bed inside your house, huh? What am I supposed to do with that.

?????? Martyn giving Etho the assignment of gaslighting someone into believing a fake moment from the previous series? Does Martyn have my suggested task or did we just same brain on that one? lol.

[More liveblogging under the cut <3 #Long post]

Switching over to Martyn POV because curious:

skdlfj wow Martyn's video is super loud after coming from Etho's. Just gonna turn my sound down there.

??? Martyn does not have my suggestion so I guess he and I just had the same brain wave. Alas. Here were some suggestions I put in Tango's Session 3 comments, for anyone curious:

Reference events from past Life series at least 4 times in conversation with other players (Ex: "This reminds me of that one boogeyman kill in Last Life; remember when X happened?") - [Some ideas that come to mind are that it would be funny to pester players who missed seasons by lightheartedly teasing them about events they weren't around for]

Alternatively: Convince at least 2 players that a falsified event happened in Secret Life or a past Life series [Ex: "Haven't you seen the fanart of this? I'll send it to you later." / "Remember, we were all there? Oh, you didn't play in that series; I guess you wouldn't know."]

?? They took the world border out of the Nether. Untapped escape routes in Hell.

I appreciate "mayor" Scar chasing the Big Dogs away and telling them he was going to send them to the pound.

(Loud sigh). Scar upset with Martyn for peeing on (dumping water on) his base. Martyn is running amok. Unrestrained.

slkdjf Martyn admitting he had read a lot of tasks in the past week and was thinking he'd probably end up taking someone else's idea. Y'know what, good enough for me. Whether we same brained or he read that, I'm satisfied. Also Etho saying "Martyn, you should write tasks because that's a great idea." I'll take it, slkdfj.

Watched a few minutes more of Martyn, he's talking with Joel and I have nothing to say atm, switching back to Joel:

Joel so sad when his cows get loose.

I appreciate how Martyn allowed Etho to buy his silence but then he runs to Joel and starts dropping hints.

slkdjfs Joel nailed his lyrics, good for him.

Joel working on his farms before pressing the success button is mildly stressing me out. (Oh, he was waiting for safe day).

sldkfj Etho giving Joel a chance to take a guess at him and Joel phrasing his words specifically as "Was your goal to bait a yellow into guessing you're saying 'Aha?'"

I always admire Joel's commitment to getting the right colored resources, especially wood. He takes so much pride in his builds even in the deathgame.

One of my other task suggestions was to break game rules for part of the session and I used the example of wearing a helmet. If Scar has that task, that will be quite funny. He's being super sus about that helmet and even talking like "I can take it off! I'll take it off right now" which would line up with my 50% of the session suggestion. I'll have to check on him next.

Gem's Yellow life heterochromia.

lskdjfslkjdf Boat Boys, my beloved...

Etho, parking a boat and making eye contact: Joel. Get in. Joel: The fandom's gonna go crazy, Etho. We can't do this. Etho: We're reliving the past, Joel, right now. Remember the good old days, just me and you? Joel: I do. The Relation ship. Etho: Riding the boats? Etho: ... Back when you cared about me.

skdjf I had to pause to start writing that and it really does just keep going, huh?

Joel: I still care, Etho. It's just... Etho: You still care? We hardly see each other anymore. Joel: I know, I know, but that's because I'm with the Mounders now. Etho: Well, this is where the relationship ends.

What is in Etho's Secret Life water; he is SO clingy and mushy with Joel every episode.

Joel calling Scar out for breaking the rules... is this my task, I am so curious.

Kind of surreal watching this play out. Definitely picking up the vibe that the players screened tasks together before putting them in and so they've got "rule breaker" as a possible option in their minds and that's why they're so quick to jump in and call Scar out on that TODAY despite the fact that he was also breaking rules in previous episodes. Very curious.

Martyn's calling a meeting, seems like a good time to pop over and check on Scar's task. Episode title is him calling himself a server villain so it might not be my task, but that's very funny anyway. Let's see.

Alas... It is not my "Break the rules for 50% of the episode" task suggestion, but the task he does have is really clever (Do the opposite of what people tell you to do).

Gonna bounce back to Joel and finish his episode and return to Scar later, but that will be a fun watch <3 Still getting the vibe that they screened my task ideas and maybe we will see it another day. We shall see.

I like the mental image of Scott looking up, covered in mud and dirt, as the Task Force comes barreling over the hill like "We caught you mud-handed!!"

Also enjoy the mental image of Joel catching Gem at the bottom of his water slide.

Joel @ Gem about The End: How come they went? I wouldn't go. Gem: idk, bunch of improv nerds. They just kept saying 'Yes.'

Yeah that tracks.

Gem: I just saved you a heart. I don't think I have to give you one.

I love how Joel is always like "Everybody likes me because I'm really popular." Like that's his actual dialogue. He's so fun to write and it's always funny to remember that he really is just Like That.

Congrats to Joel for finishing a nice fence around his base, lighting it up, and chopping down the trees to prevent skeleton spawning! He's doing pretty well this season.

MARTYN FIRST RED... He fell out of the world. what an idiot /affectionate.

Jimmy too... Jimmy. Jimmy, my man who has been out first four seasons in a row... is also on red life now... Jimmy, you are playing a DANGEROUS game.

Done with Joel's POV, switching to Grian's (after leaving a nice comment and a like on his video ofc <3)

Grian: The reds work slightly differently, but I'll explain that when we get our first red. Me: ... ah.

It's fun to see how careful and skilled Grian is. He's been a very high-heart green name for several episodes and it gives me 3rd Life vibes again.

That said, he lost a bunch in the caves... but I get why, gotta do the mining. Oh geez, zombie kid with a sword hits hard. Ouch.

Loving his dramatic music, though. It was interesting a few months ago when I went back and started binging some early Hermitcraft episodes, because you never appreciate the skill these guys have with subtle music until you compare them to their older videos which feel more awkward and empty. gg.

Holy GEEZ, Grian's dropping hearts like mad. Also watching him panic as his hunger meter drops because he's out of food is super funny. Yeah, that'll kill you.

Grian Session 4 would be a good early watch with that kind of tension... Also I love him limping into his base and devouring berry after berry.

Scar unable to take off his helmet because everyone keeps going "?? Take off your helmet!" and he can't.

The hilarity of:

Grian: Can I use your enchantment table? Scar: YES! ... Wait........ Grian: /turns around Scar: Noooo... Grian: /cracks up

Scar indicating he's okay with Grian using the table by using a sarcastic sing-songy voice to tell him it would be a bad idea to use it skldfj

Scar following Grian's instructions but doing so with a delay while Grian stands there confused sdlkfj

Grian: Scar said I could use it! How else would I know you had it? Cleo: ?? Why would Scar be in charge of our enchanter? Grian: ??? He said it was his??

Etho telling Grian to give his heart to Cleo slkdjf. Etho just really wants to be affectionate to someone.

Grian: What do I have to do to be friends? I hate living in that egg.

lskdjf obsessed with the besties roommates getting a third wheel roommate who brings them golden carrots.

Etho: You've been burning down your bases every episode. One rule: If you move into ours, you're not allowed to burn it down.

<3 Builder roommate!!

slkdfjsk they outsourced the bed shrine to Grian.

Etho: Cleo, you're really going to get along with Grian. He likes burning things too.

Obsessed with Grian asking why Etho waterlogged his chests and when Etho explains it's to prevent TNT damage, Grian just pauses and goes "I have made the right choice." sldkfj. Grian and Etho and Cleo team up! Very exciting; what will they do?

Grian asking Scar if he's okay and Scar saying "I'm neutral." skldjf. Scar is so good at this.

Loving Grian going to visit BigB for his obligatory "let's find out what weird stuff he's doing" commitment (and dragging Scar after him).

slkdjfskldj wheezing:

Grian: Why is Tango hanging around? Mumbo: ??? That's a bit rude? Someone partaking in a conversation and you're like "Why are you here?"

Watching Martyn eyeballing The End advancements in the chat while I know he's this close to dying from jumping in The End is stressing me out.

Mumbo: Grian, let's play a game. You stop. Grian: /stops Mumbo: /takes off running

And there go Martyn and Jimmy...

?? How interesting that red lives can't immediately PVP other players, but that's hilarious that they're supposed to have a never-ending chain of harmful tasks to complete. POV, you get possessed by a bunch of spirits who don't want to release your body. Time to add that to my Secret Life 'fic collection...

Grian's POV is done, going to leave him his like and comment, quickly wrap up these recaps, and sign off for the night.

Etho time:

Coming back in to Martyn's gaslighting suggestion... picking up what Etho does from here. sldkfj that really is my task he suggested, but Etho interpreted it differently. Fun to watch though. Also hilarious that Etho started claiming he came up with the Aha bit. sldkfj. Everyone in this series is nuts.

Shout out to Bdubs: "I want to be Yellow just for the barks."

slkdfj love Jimmy pointing out that in Last Life everyone was cracking up over Aha jokes but now everyone is just sighing at Etho.

Etho possessed by dead Southlander ghost :(

I like Etho asking if Grian wants a bread bridge because it really does sound like he's just bringing up "dead memes."

wheezing at Bdubs like "Wow, someone made the whole world in this short of a time?" and Scott jumps in like "Only a Bad Boy could do that." slkdfjlsdjf

Martyn: I meant something else but :'D (GG)

slkdfjsdljfskl screaming at BigB like "I forgot I was supposed to report to the Heart Foundation."

Etho: I'm a horse girl too. Cleo: I mean, that's what I call Bdubs.

lskdjfsldkjf Impulse jumpscare. Haven't seen him show up in any of my POVs yet. Will probably circle back to him later this weekend.

That wraps up Etho's POV, switching over... I have been watching Minecraft for like 3 hours straight.

Bdubs in Etho's comments launching a "formal complaint" against Etho sldkjfs. That's friendship.

Speedwatching Martyn and then Scar and then we rest.

Picking up 15 minutes into Martyn's episode:

Joel, about his wife: Oh, Lizzie. I forgot her. Not like she's an important part of my life or anything. Martyn: Old news, old news. Separation of work and life.

I do find it funny that Etho was bouncing around like "Joel, want to take a shot at me?"

The "Scar never stood trial" screen is cracking me up.

Again, RIP Scar unable to take off his helmet because everyone kept telling him too slkdjf.

I love Martyn and Pearl going back and forth like "You just told me to give my base a big butt and then walked off."

Martyn: I'm waiting to hand in my task in case I lose hearts so I can recover. Curse of knowledge: ...

<3 Pretty Heart Foundation cherry blossom heart and cool globe in the background.

sldkjf Impulse urging everyone to gift Skizz hearts. The guilt. They are BFFs, your honor.

Martyn's dramatic music while Scar takes off running slkdjf.

Big brain move by Martyn for swiping Mumbo's horse while sussing out his task.

Welp, this is as far as I got before someone came in and pulled me from my computer, which of course restarted in my absence and closed all my many incognito tabs with my videos :') Ugh. Thank goodness for auto-saved drafts though or I would have lost this after 3 hours of watching.

Posting now and if I have anything more to say about Martyn or Scar, I'll do so in another post!

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twig-tea · 11 months

Text

I am freaking out about Be My Favorite Ep8. So much happened! All of it so good! How does this show continue to surprise me?!

This isn't going to be coherent, sorry in advance.

First, the way this show never lies to us in the previews but still manages to make us second-guess?! I think @respectthepetty said this first and it's remained true; I was truly blown away by how the preview of Kawi confessing on the balcony was undercut but still borne through, and even moreso how Kawi crying in Pisaeng's arms in the past/present is made more poignant as we the audience realize that Kawi's also reacting to what he knows happens in this moment in the past, which is his father dying. The storytelling! The throughline from that moment of realization last episode! And the additional weight this gives to Kawi's decision to go back anyway, to relive this moment of loss knowing he absolutely could not fix it?! I am freaking out about how good this is. No wonder he hesitated before going back in time! No wonder he was overwhelmed! I'm not ok.

Then that bit about Kawi asking Pisaeng to stay away in public!! As @lurkingshan said this show is definitely paralleling Krist's real experience and real history, and as an apologist/redemption vehicle I have to say it is doing its job, damn, A++ to everyone involved in that decision.

Then we got Pisaeng's mother once again turning me into an absolute rage monster. @waitmyturtles already said what I wanted to say about this, how her suggestion to run is perfectly contrasted with Max's conversation with Kawi about how it may be more difficult but staying and fighting is worthwhile [note: no judgment to people who legitimately have to leave to survive, as a person who only exists because my Jewish relatives left Ukraine before the town was murdered! Time and place, nuance, etc]. I think @bengiyo is right and this woman is evil, and I always love a story where the banality of evil is allowed to shine.

Then. Then!! We got Kawi giving Pisaeng the diary. The way I GASPED. I cannot tell you all how much I was not struggling with Kawi confessing to Pisaeng with the imbalance of both age and knowledge on his side, and this show said "Not Today, Lying By Omission Gang! Full and Enthusiastic Emotional Consent Only" 😭 I have so many emotions about this. When we saw him with it in the preview I was worried Pisaeng had found it and read it and drawn weird conclusions about what Kawi wants (which...I was half right lol). Kawi really did not have to share this at this point in the narrative, and as that balcony conversation showed, it was a hard sell as the truth. But now everything is on the table. The secrets are out! Anything that comes now will be something external, that they can then choose to either fight together or let break them apart.

I have Thoughts about the future mystic guy showing up in this episode. Are we to take his offer as a representation of the "easy way out" and Pisaeng rejecting it as an indicator of his character [This is currently my favourite theory but I'm not fully convinced; it fits with @lurkingshan's brilliant meta about the way this show is pushing for doing the work, accepting consequences, and not taking shortcuts though]? If Pisaeng had said yes, would he have been given a chance to change his past (but it's a strange moment for him to want to change, having gotten hope from Kawi for the first time); or would he have been given a glimpse of his future to help him make a decision in the present? Are we supposed to think that Pisaeng and Kawi are soulmates and this guy is their guardian angel trying to help them get together faster (but he seemed happy that Pisaeng turned him down?)?

And on that note, I just have to say that I am as happy as everyone else that we're seeing Kawi finally take responsibility for his choices and their consequences, finally think about the impact on other people, and work actively to make the lives of his friends better not just his own. It makes sense to me that Kawi needed to see "success" as he'd defined it and realize it sucked before he was willing to let that go. It also makes sense that he'd mature more quickly after getting years of memories every time he goes into the future. And I think experiencing the loss of his father, Pearmai, and Pisaeng in succession via memory really helped him put in perspective who was important to him. He seems to need to see how something falls out rather than thinking it through in advance, so this seems in character as a means of gaining clarity. The way he was talking about himself with Pisaeng in that flashback was so interesting too, "you didn't tell anyone about me, did you?" as though there IS something to tell; living that future really solidified Kawi as Queer for Kawi, in ways his uncertainty in the present/past hadn't. And there's something lovely about Kawi coming to terms with his sexuality in the past because he's seen how much it hurts Pisaeng in the future if he doesn't. I also really, really love that he still hesitated, and had trouble getting it out because as @waitmyturtles said, change is not easy.(This also feels connected to some of what @dribs-and-drabbles has written about Kawi rewriting his sense of self in real-time).

I'm 100% with @grapejuicegay that I want Kawi to decide to live in the past as his present and to be present for it, and shockingly it seems like in this episode he's already come to that decision himself?! Which now has me wondering what the conflict will be in future and what it will have to do with time travel.

I'm calling now [get ready to clown] that Kawi's going to get too tempted to check his future one last time over a decision, even though Pisaeng tells him not to, and gets stuck in a future he doesn't like. Wild speculation: Pisaeng is dead because of Kawi and Kawi goes to the future guy for one last chance, and he's given two choices: keep things as they are or go back to the first timeline. Kawi goes back to the first timeline (because you can't ever really go back and fix your past), but takes the lessons he learned to improve his (and all his friends') present and future. This show has been really good at giving me better than I could come up with, and I'm looking forward to being proven wrong.

Most of all I just want to celebrate in this moment that this show is doing everything I had hoped (none of which I expected to get), and none of what I'd feared, and it has far, far surpassed my expectations!

#be my favorite meta #be my favorite #so many emotions #be my favorite ep 8 #typed so i can stop thinking it

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carousel-crows · 1 year

Note

19. online dating if it hasn’t been taken

i gotchu anon

Prompt #19: Online Dating

just fyi i have never been on a dating app. i don't care if this is inaccurate.

⚠️TW: Implied/referenced sex⚠️

———

“Goose, I don't want a relationship. Stop badgering.”

“You're so stubborn. Just try it. You could meet your soulmate or something!”

“I said no. Drop it, Nick.”

“I had hoped it wouldn't come to this.” Goose takes a deep breath. “You're a coward.”

Maverick gasps dramatically. “How dare you? A stab at my honor? after all we've been through together?”

“I'll take it back if you make an account and at least try it.”

Mav huffs. “Gimme the phone, bitch.”

Goose cheers, handing the phone to Pete triumphantly. He reluctantly creates an account, only adding the necessities. He doesn't put his rank or his job at all.

God, this is so dumb.

———

Thomas “Iceman” Kazansky does not like the concept of online dating. Yet he created an account.

Why? Slider’s insistence, of course.

He was uncomfortable even opening the app. Yet he did.

Why?

He was curious, he'll admit. It was an app designed for any orientation, not just heterosexual people. That was a bonus. Plus, he was approaching his 30’s, and he wanted to at least go steady with someone.

He set up a blind date with a man in his area through the app. They were going to meet up at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant next to the beach on Friday. It sounded fun, but Ice was hesitant to get his hopes up.

———

Mav had a date. Friday evening.

He was excited, if a little worried. It was a blind date with someone named Thomas at a place he'd never been to. But it was near the beach, so he can count on that going well. Hopefully.

———

Ice walked into the restaurant and checked his reservation. He was early, but extremely anxious about being stood up.

Until Maverick came sauntering in the door, aviators hung on his white tee.

He wore the same jacket as always, his hair windswept from riding his motorcycle way above the speed limit. He smiled as he approached Ice's table.

“Hey, Ice. Who you waitin’’ for?”

“My date. He’s not late, but I don't know if he's going to show.”

“Do you know his name?” So he didn't care if he was into men. Noted.

“I think his name was Peter?”

“Oh, cool. I'm here for a date, too. Really nervous.”

“What's her name?”

“Well, his name is Thomas….. Wait—” His eyes widened, but Ice didn't catch why. “Show me his profile.” He sat in the seat opposite Ice.

“Uhh… okay?”

Ice opened the app and showed Mav the card, confused. Mav bursted out laughing, and other patrons glanced over, presumably annoyed.

“What's so funny, hotshot?”

“Ice, that's my profile. We're supposed to be on a date together.”

“Oh my god. We got set up by AI.”

“Guess we have more in common than we thought.” Pete is still grinning like a menace, barely stifling laughter. Ice is thoroughly embarrassed, knowing he's red as a lobster.

Conveniently, the waiter popped up and handed them menus. Ice ordered alcohol immediately.

———

They oddly had a pleasant evening, stopping at an ice cream shack on the beach before strolling on the beach. Despite the cliché, Ice thought Mav looked stunning in the golden glow of the sunset, smiling and laughing. Ice wanted to see him like that forever.

But he didn't mind seeing him sprawled out under him that night, eyes blown wide and smiling widely.

He didn't mind seeing him basking in the morning light, laying on Tom’s chest, either.

———

make sure y'all are drinking water and resting!

#icemav #tom iceman kazansky x pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #iceman x maverick #maverick x iceman #tw implied sex

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nayruwu · 10 months

Note

Heyy~,

Are you still keeping up with the ONS manga?

If so, are you disappointed with the plot development of ONS?

ohh, interesting question!!

it's hard to answer, because my interests are so far off from what is actually happening in the manga right now. so i'm a lot more biased towards "ugh, this sucks" right now, but i'll try to work around it and really think of what bothers me beside the lack of my beloved scrunklies.

generally i think my biggest issue right now is how different the story today is to the events before. if you tried explaining to an anime only how the true villain of the story is actually a six-winged nonbinary hoe with depression that keeps their child's corpse in the hiiragi's basement, they probably wouldn't believe it's the same series. and i know that this was planned from the start, and kagami didn't just come up with shikama three weeks ago, but it still feels bad to have everything that was set up in the beginning of the manga not really matter anymore. they centered the whole start around the world ending, and it makes sense that there was never much worldbuilding because now it's just another thing that happened.

what were the interesting points back then? the apocalyptic setting! the ever looming threat in form of the vampires trying to enslave the remnants of humanity! the unshakeable rule of the hiiragi family suppressing those below them! there were tons of charming characters introduced that probably won't ever show up again (one of which even has backstory with an um, ex main character, i'd call yoichi. goodbye plot relevance). now none of that really matters anymore. it's a kind of "hey there's this bigger threat and bigger secret that renders everything that happened in the past meaningless!" that i don't really like. so what does it matter that krul dies and ashera loses her? they were angels in the past! their souls are bound together! they'll see each other again soon!

i'm not a fan of soulmate plots. i need at least 7 books of explanation for why these two characters like each other before i can see the relationship as true and meaningful. this is also why i can't bring myself to be interested in mika/yuu anymore, but i don't want to put a target on my back right now. they're good, alright. just not for me.

another thing that bothers me is how we're supposed to relate to, and perhaps even root for shikama. they were set up in both vampire reign and catastrophe as this incomprehensible force that planned the fate of the entire human race, leaving them as nothing more than figures on a chess board. and that's cool! that's terrifying! but shikama and the other angels turned out to be... not really incomprehensible at all. they're just humans with wings and special powers. to me, that's pretty underwhelming. maybe a different, more stylised approach to telling the story of angel mika would have made it easier to enjoy for me. something that wasn't just another version of "someone i love died and i didn't want them to so i did this thing". maybe that's the point, a cycle doomed to repeat, but... i don't know, i guess i expected something else.

so no, i don't like the recent developments. i can't think of anything i like about it, honestly. but that's a me problem. most people seem to like it, especially the mika enjoyers that have gotten their wildest dreams fulfilled these past few years! it's a little sad that my brain lost interest in him, i'd be a lot happier with the content we're getting.

this sounds extremely negative but oh well! i still look forward to the chapters and am excited to see what happens next, but without the thought of "hey, X scene has to happen at some point, it'll just take a while", i probably wouldn't be here anymore. i'll just wait for that and let the rest pass me by. yuu the floating eye, sure....

sure.....................................

sure...........................

#this was quite depressing to think about i'm not gonna lie #am i disappointed?? am i??????#i hope this didn't turn out too salty #... or too long #owari no seraph #seraph of the end #i didnt wanna put this in the tag but theres a read more so anyone that doesn't want user nayruwu's delicious rock salt can just scroll pas

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dreamywakes · 6 months

Text

Producer: Betta we need you to answer some questions so the potential contestants can get to know you better.

Betta: Alright, I'll just sit down right here then.

You don't want to change into swimwear?

Nah, that'll take too long. Now you had questions?

What's your ideal type?

I'm not a fan of ideals. Let's be honest, no one is perfect. I guess I've always had an interest in the mysterious types.

What was your last relationship like?

Don't even get me started. We meet when I went to college and I thought things were going well. They even moved to Sulani to be with me after college. That's when things changed. It's like they were a different person all of a sudden. I don't want to go into much detail about it. It was rough for a while.

We've heard you're like a celebrity here in Sulani. What is that like?

It sucks. The Lace's aren't your everyday celebrity that people love here in Sulani. People look at us like we're some kind of gods. Some worship the ground we work on... literally. Imagine having no social life because your supposed to spend your whole life protecting the land. Leave me out of it. I'm not some kind of hero who'll risk their life for people who, in the end, doesn't even actually care about them.

If that's your way of thinking then what is your relationship with your family life?

I'm a disgrace to the whole family. At least that's what they think of me. They'd never say it out loud, obviously. Though that might change when this airs. I've never actual expressed my hatred of the system to the public. My siblings say that I'll disappoint the people at some point. So, it might as well be now before someone comes on this show expecting someone I'm not. Simply put, mom and dad aren't my biggest fans. My siblings are so stuck on being protectors of the island that they don't even stop to think about my beliefs. In all honesty, I feel bad for them.

If not your family, then who is your biggest supporter?

My best friend from college. Her name is Candy and she has been my cheerleader since the day I meet her. She's bright and cheerful with a protective side to her. Her opinion is important to me, so don't be surprised if she shows up at some point. She'll put everyone to the test.

What do you think of supernaturals?

I find them interesting. There is so much to learn about them and they all seem to have a mysterious aura to them. Or at least that's how they always came off to me. You know, some consider us Lace's to be supernatural beings due to our powers. I personally don't think seeing spirits is that big of a deal.

Why did you decide to be the next Bachelorette?

Isn't it obvious? I want to find love. A true love that lasts. I'm hoping to find my forever. I believe in soulmates. There's someone out there for everyone. I want to find my someone. Even if the means are a little untraditional.

CUT- that was good Betta.

Oh we're done here. Can I get up now?

Oh no, we're going to have to take promotional pictures first. Can you pose for us?

#Betting on Betta #ts4 #ts4 bachelorette challenge #berry sims #the sims 4 #betta bc #the sims 4 bachelorette challenge

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semper-legens · 2 months

Text

29. Hidden, by PC and Kristin Cast

Owned: No, library Page count: 302 My summary: The truth is out. The world know how terrible Neferet is - or, at least, they should. But while she's been shunned from the House of Night, Neferet is working her evil magic on the humans surrounding it. She's conned herself into the mayor's office, into a penthouse suite, and into a dangerous position for Zoey and her friends. The Darkness still needs sacrifices. And what better victim than Grandma Redbird? My rating: 1/5 My commentary:

Speedrun, speedrun, only got three more of these let's go! What else is there to say about the House of Night at this point? Not a lot. It's still bad, it's still offensive and bigoted, it's still a giant piece of shit. And I'm still getting a perverse kind of joy from seeing just how bad it is. Seriously, though I'm going to be glad to see the back of this series, I don't actually regret having read it. If nothing else, it's a great what-not-to-do when it comes to crafting a story. Just do the absolute opposite of House of Night, and you've made a reasonably solid story! Yay! Anyway, let's get into it.

So, picking up from the pointlessness last time, we kick off here with Lenobia and a fire in the stables. And we learn one more thing about Lenobia! Is it about her as a character, or about her relationship to sex and romance? Surprise! The latter. Yeah, turns out Lenobia's pointless sexy cowboy is actually the reincarnation of her lost love from when she first came to America in the 1700s. After he died (because she failed to save him, natch) she swore she'd never love another person. Travis is that guy's soul come back to her after so long, and it's a stupid plot point for two reasons. Reason one - the dead lover was a black man from New Orleans, while Travis is explicitly white. Which…is not a good look. Black lover is fridged, white lover is endgame. Given that the only other men of colour are Kalona and Rephaim (maybe? I don't remember if Rephaim is actually described as looking Cherokee) this is not a particularly good look. Reason two - we're just doing soulmates, I guess. Lenobia has exactly one person she's allowed to be in a relationship ever. Zoey's thing with Heath (more on that later) is a very similar vibe, they're just ~cosmically connected~ and so they've gotta be endgame. People aren't allowed to develop attractions to each other! Don't be silly! You've got to get with the one person you're cosmically destined to be with! Bleh.

Most of the ongoing plot of this one concerns Neferet's rise in human society, a plot point that…does not really go anywhere. It's not even that Neferet needs to struggle to get to the top in human society, she literally just goes up to the mayor like 'you support me unconditionally now' and he's like 'duh you're hot okay sure'. It's bizarre how mundane the conflict between Neferet and Team Zoey is here. Team Zoey are trying to make her seem like a disgruntled ex-employee, and both sides are using the news media to influence people to their way of thinking. Which, given that Neferet's 'exposing' Stark as a murderer, feels…disproportionate? The worldbuilding, or lack thereof, is being thrown into focus here. Surely the police would have something to say about Stark being a murderer? Like, it's established that the vamps are allowed by the police to take care of their own security and policing and such, which is fine, but a) this has not come up so often and b) the amount of vamps there are in the world makes this suspect? At various points, the worldwide vamp population has been implied to both be substantial and not so much. Almost every celebrity has been said to be a vamp in this world, and yet vamp numbers are actually small enough that the world governments apparently just let them take care of themselves with no other oversight. Vampires are supposed to be both incredibly powerful and influential and also a minority, both at the same time? It's vague to the point where you're obviously not meant to think about it, but incidents like this just bring into light the fact that it hasn't been well thought through. Hey, Casts? If you're not gonna worldbuild this stuff, don't bring it up.

More Aurox…ugh. Once again, we're circling the 'badboy redeemed' trope. Honestly, it wouldn't even bug me that much if it wasn't exactly the damn same every time it showed up. The Boy has done some shitty things, but feels bad about them and wants to change. Some people won't give him the time of day, but at least one other person, usually his love interest, is ride or die for him and totally believes he has changed. Over time, the change is proved to be correct, usually with one big heroic action. Stark, Rephaim, and Kalona have all had this arc. Can we have a different arc please. It's getting boring.

So the big climax to this one comes when Neferet kidnaps Grandma Redbird to use her as a sacrifice to the Darkness, which means it's time to talk about Grandma a bit more. Grandma is Zoey's Cherokee grandmother. That is also the extent of her characterisation. She is loving, forgiving, spiritual, and always knows the right thing to say. Everyone loves her. She has no flaws. She is perfect. She knows everything. And she's boring as hell. She's not a character, she's a plot device! Grandma Redbird exists either to be a perfect moral guide or to give exposition about Cherokee culture and spiritual practice (which, as we've talked about previously, isn't by necessity actual Cherokee culture). Oh, and to be in danger. This is, what, the third time her life's been endangered? There's no tension in it anymore, because there's no way that the Casts will actually have anything bad happen to her. Zoey's mother can die, because she was a bitch, but Grandma? Nah, she's too good to die. I never got the feeling here that anything bad was actually gonna happen to her, because she's bounced back from being the damsel in distress so many times.

And finally…good Lord, I cannot believe that it has taken me this long to realise exactly what's wrong with Nyx as a plot element. To be fair, I haven't given much thought to Nyx as a character to this point; she literally just shows up to be a perfect mother goddess and be right about everything and then disappear. But the climax of this book comes about when Zoey and co are scared and unsure of what to do about Neferet kidnapping Grandma Redbird. Zoey prays to Nyx, and essentially gets the answer that she needs to stop cowering in the darkness and actually do something. All very fine and well, and even a half-decent plot beat. The thing is that how the plot actually resolves is that Kramisha gives Zoey one of her prophetic poems, and it tells Zoey exactly what to do to save the day. And since Nyx gives Kramisha her visions, this is essentially just Nyx ssaving the day with Zoey as a conduit. And the problem with all of this is that it's the worst of the conservative Christian idea of God and humankind's relationship to God. God is infallible and doing what He wants will always solve your problem. Nyx is always right, and finding what Nyx wants you to do, even if it's hard, is always the right path. Zoey has free will, but pretty much any path other than specifically what Nyx wants her to do is usually wrong. I don't know much about what the Casts believe theologically, but I really wouldn't be surprised if it was a 'raised Christian, switched to 70s Neo-Paganism' kind of thing, because Nyx here just reads as if the Casts switched Christian God for a mother goddess without really changing anything about how they percieve this deity and their relationship to said deity. I've been getting the vibe as we go through the series that Nyx does some shitty things, but I'm not sure I was meant to? Her forgiveness of people like Kalona and Rephraim seems overly punitive at times, but at this late stage in the series there's no room for that to be an arc or anything, I think we're supposed to take as read that Nyx is perfect. And that just skeeves me out in general.

Next, I told you it was a speedrun! The penultimate installment of the House of Night series!

#Hidden #PC Cast #Kristin Cast #bookblr #book blog #1

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dcvilgrams · 11 months

Note

DO THEM ALL!!! unless like you actually don't want to and then do 🕸 and 💀

since this lovely person really did ask me to do them all... under the cut you can find them~

obey me mc ask game | my ask

😈: WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BROTHER?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"I―how―wha―I can't just choose a favorite! They're all my brothers and I love them all equally in their own unique ways for their own unique reasons! Pssht... asking me to pick a favorite... that's just cruel.

"But I guess if I have to give some kind of answer, Asmodeus was the first one I really thought of as my brother. He's been with me since day one and I'm so grateful for everything he's done for me."

👻: WHAT RACE ARE YOU? HUMAN?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Well... the position was asking for a human exchange student to attend RAD so... no shit, Sherlock? I don't really know what to say to that."

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"O-kay― so technically I was born human, yes. And I attended RAD through the exchange program as a human student. But... okay... so here's what happened, try and keep up.

"Lord Diavolo had Barbatos send me back in time so I could figure out how Belphie managed to combine my three pacts with Asmo, Levi, and Satan with Ayla's two pacts with Mammon and Beel in order to escape the attic. But when I found him he... well, he killed me. These things happen. Barbatos brought me back by making the reality where I lived the real reality, and so it was like it never happened.

"Except it did. I remembered all of it―dying, going back in time, everything that Barbatos said I should have eventually forgotten. And then I started having these... these episodes. Where it's like I was conscious, but I was trapped in my body. It was terrifying to say the fucking least.

"So it turns out something just... went wrong with sealing off the other reality―you know, the one where I kicked the bucket. And so my body would be into these episodes where I was basically living in my own corpse; like my body and my soul couldn't decide which reality I belonged to. Luckily, Barbatos found a way to fix that. I just needed to access enough of his reality-altering powers to actively choose to stay in the reality where I lived. And, y'know, there's only one way to access that much of a demon's power...

"So one pact and 88% of my soul sold off later, everything seemed peachy! Except... a-ha... turns out I tapped into too much reality-altering power. Enough that when combined with my fear of having to leave the Devildom and my unconscious desire to belong with the brothers... I kinda... turned myself into a demon?

"Ta..........da........?"

🔮: DO YOU POSSESS MAGIC?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Much to literally everyone's surprise... yeah? Like I fully expected to walk into that Spells Placement Exam and see myself out without being asked but nope. Turns out conjuring even a tiny ball of flame in your hand still counts as bona-fide magic."

🖤: WHICH OF THE SINS DO YOU ALIGN WITH?

answered here

[needle]: DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Absolutely. And I believe that everything that happens is a part of it―every harsh word, every bad day, every terrible choice is all mean to lead us to where we're supposed to be.

"Take me for example. Yes I suffered through years of addiction and recovery, but it made me stronger, and wiser, and led to me signing up for the RAD program―which led to being murdered by Belphie, which led to my pact with Barbatos―all of which led to me becoming the demon I was meant to be, marrying my soulmate Lucifer, living every day with a family who truly loves me.

"I do believe all the bad things had to happen to get me where I am today. And I wouldn't change a thing."

💜: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"I was born in Sendai, in Northern Japan. My mom's job took her to cities all across the nation so I spent most of my younger life with my dad in Osaka ― I guess they divorced pretty early on, before I even turned a year old I think. I still don't really know why. My dad was a great guy. Best dad ever. He taught me how to read and write and was always cooking something delicious any time he was in the kitchen. He, uh... he passed in a car accident when I was five.

"So I had to go with my mom after that. We spent most of my formative years going from one city to the next. It wasn't exactly the best situation―the school districts definitely made it difficult for me when I hit my teens. And then... all of a sudden really out of the fucking blue, honestly mom's marrying this in-ground pool salesman Craig from the American Midwest and we're hauling ass to corn-town.

"I'd... rather not talk about the rest."

🕷: WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"It's irrational now, but there was a time it wasn't... and it's still stuck with me. The same nightmare ― that one day I'll be woken up, told to pack my things, break my pacts, and be forced back to the Human Realm... nothing and no one on my side... my family forever out of my reach."

🐈‍⬛: HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO ADJUST?

answered here

👿: WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE BROTHER?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Depends... what has Mammon done this time? ― Kidding, kidding; I'm kidding, I swear. Just like picking favorites, I can't pick a least favorite. They all annoy Luce and I in their own unique ways... which makes that list an endlessly-revolving one based on who did what and how badly they failed at covering it up."

🕸: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MAGICAL SUBJECT?

answered here

👾: DO YOU GAME WITH LEVI?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"We game every once in a while. Truth be told I have the video game coordination of someone who had their thumbs surgically replaced with their big toes, so I prefer to watch. We do frequently binge TSL together though. How could we not??"

💀: HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH BELPHIE?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"To no one's surprise it was... rocky at first. How else are you supposed to describe your pseudo-friendship with your murderer? Especially since I kept re-living my death―talk about rubbing salt in the wound. But everyone was so happy to have him home and.... and well of course there's that whole thing about Ayla falling in love with him while planning his attic-rescue... eventually we found a good middle ground.

"And I'm happy to say that middle ground eventually just... smoothed out? I don't have a good analogy for it. I can't say exactly when, or what did it, but one day I just realized... I had forgiven him. And we were okay―better than okay―we were true brothers."

🦄: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MYTHICAL CREATURE?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Well they're not really mythical, but Hellnicorns are definitely my favorite creature native to the Devildom! Going on the Alpha hunt is still one of the top three most thrilling experiences of my life."

【the following is an excerpt from The Disaster Duo Chronicles, showcasing the hellnicorn herd】

There have to be about fifty of them. Maybe a few more. Spread out over a full-moon sky in small groups and then some. The smaller ones, babies probably, are indeed the size of regular pack horses. They gallop and whinny as a group of several chase each other by the tips of their horns. One scampers away before turning on gangly legs to lock horns with another, playfighting for dominance. The majority of them are the size of decent construction trucks— the kind with the extra set of back wheels that appear in a commercial with a man in a cowboy hat talking about letting freedom ring with a beer in hand, never shown on the road but only on dirt trails. They seem to have more than one horn on average; smaller secondary ones above or below the main ticket not unlike secondary wing characteristics. They graze and nudge each other, long tails swishing lazily. The big ones… those are the breath-takers. Four of them as big as, indeed, a two story house. Six nearby them just slightly shorter, but thicker and stockier. Likely from the same family branch. The biggest four have at least three horns, maybe several more small ones hidden in the shadows of the others. But that main horn has to be as long as Dagon is tall. And like all the others it shines a vibrant and glossy obsidian, as if carved from stone and bestowed as a crown for their majesty. Before Xhura can properly express his awe in a verbal fashion, the Alpha—oh it’s so obvious which one is the Alpha, standing mightier than the rest and covered in dark grizzled scar lines, eyes a milky white and filled with instinct like Xhura is coming to terms with really understanding—charges.

🔪: WHICH BROTHER WOULD YOU STAB?

answered here

♋️: WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?

answered here

🎱: HAVE YOU GOTTEN DETENTION?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"You gotta be more specific here. Have I gotten detention ever in my life? Yeah, though it only started happening once I was introduced to the wonderful world of the Chicago Public School District. Feel the eye-roll of my words, I beg of you.

"But if you're asking if I've ever gotten detention at RAD? Hell no! Not only am I too excited for my classes to even think about missing them except you Seductive Speechcraft you little asshole, but there's no way in―well―Hell I'd risk whatever punishment Barbatos has in store there. Nu-uh, no thanks."

🦷: WHAT CHAPTER ARE YOU ON IN YOUR STUDIES?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Actually??? I have??? amazing news??? It took a lot of convincing but I finally got Lucifer to agree to let me sit the placement test for the Advanced-Placement Devildom History course!!

"I said before I have a knack for dates and things like that and the whole test is literally just this beautifully-made timeline of the Devildom from the Primordial Beginning to Diavolo's Father's reign and I'm so stupid excited to ace the fuck out of it???

"Huh? Oh, yeah that means I'll be sharing the course with Lucifer, that's right. ... No, no one else from the program or the House is in that course, why? Just what are you implying??? Hm??? That I would use History in such a nefarious not to mention slutty way? Is that it?

"Well... I can't even dignify that with an answer―nay... I won't. Hmph."

🎵: WHAT SKILLS DO YOU HAVE?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Hehe...heh... uhhh... I mean I've definitely gotten more than my fair share of compliments and praise about certain skills of mine the kind of skills that come in handy when you're strung out and desperate for another hit and your dealer is a sleazebag but hey nobody said addiction was pretty. But I'm more than just a good... that.

"I'm a pretty decent cook if I do say so myself. I'm also super obsessive over organizing and charting and color-coding―which has come in handy more than once since moving into the House of Lamentation. Even Lucifer has adopted my color-coordinated chore chart.

"I have my knack-for-dates thing, I'm fluent in both English and my native Japanese... let's see... what else... Oh, I guess I'm also really good about giving people the benefit of the doubt. You kinda have to be, you know, when you've hit rock bottom as many times as I have... aha... uh... is that enough? Cool."

🐃: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DEVILDOM FOOD?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Hands-fucking-down Barbatos' equine sashimi. Yeah, he normally only prepares it when he knows Dia-ji has had or is gonna have a stressful day, but once he found out I loved it so much, he basically makes it every time Luce and I stay for dinner after our bi-weekly budget meetings for RAD. If you've never tried it.... just do it. Stuff'll change your life."

☂️: DO YOU LIKE THE ETERNAL MOON?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"It was a bit jarring to get used to at first, but honestly with my adhd I've always functioned better at night anyway?? So it's been a great way to kinda trick my brain into jumping right into 'productive mode.'"

[wand]: ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH SOLOMON?

【the following is an excerpt from The Disaster Duo Chronicles, giving a pretty blunt look at Xhura's feelings towards Solomon the Wise】

“You… dare…” He’s tired. He’s so tired. He’s so… fucking tired. And his tail is lashing out. And he’s backing up, waving a hand and teleporting all of Ayla’s things out of the way and packed and to the castle foyer, and he’s— He’s… “You didn’t protect her from herself.” He’s punching Solomon in the face, feeling the amazing and wonderful fucking crunch of cartilage under his hand, and the fantastic blooming pain in his knuckles. And the next thing he knows he’s in Barbatos’ room. For everyone’s safety. Including his own.

🗝: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ATTIC?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Honestly? I really wish Ayla would stop going up there. Yes, we've confirmed she's not crazy and there is someone trapped in what's basically an attic-gilded cage up there. But there's a reason Lucifer gets so bristly about it... and I kinda trust his judgment.

"After all, the guy lied about being a human to try and get us to help him. What does that say about his character, or what he's capable of? The Devildom may look all shiny and cool and it is don't get me wrong but it's still dangerous as fuck. And maybe people behind hidden bars are dangerous as fuck too. That's all I'm saying."

✝️: ARE YOU RELIGIOUS?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Not... really? I mean my dad's side of the family has a long history of Shintoism and shrines and stuff but once I lost touch with them it all kinda went in one ear and out the other. And I definitely wasn't praying to a higher power when I was doing drugs. So... no, I'm not."

🖋: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF DIAVOLO?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Between you and me, I guess I expected the guy in charge of the Devildom to be a little more... stuffy? proper? uptight? I don't even know the word I'm looking for but Diavolo definitely didn't meet my mind's eye when it came time for introductions. But he seems eager to learn and adapt his rule to changing times in all three realms, so that's a good sign (I think?)

"And when he put on his big-prince pants... he's actually kinda scary. you'd never know that grinning dork is underneath those stern eyes and that set frown.

"Either way, he seems to have a good head on his shoulders―he makes good decisions; the fact he somehow slipped up and allowed my program invitation to be processed even though someone else had already been chosen aside."

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Wow... talk about a loaded question. Should I focus on when he begrudgingly allowed Barbatos to make a pact with me to keep me from dying on repeat? And how he seemed really reluctant to grant me an immigration status to live permanently in the Devildom?

"Or maybe instead I'll talk about when he was utterly convinced that I was the catalyst behind the Three Worlds Disasters―even if I wasn't aware of it? Which led to him deciding to revoke my pact with Barbatos―condemning me to death, and only finally believed it was actually Ayla's magic doing the destroying, not mine, at the literal last possible second??

"Then again, there's also a lot to be said about the fact that, during Hyakki Yako (when our friendship was at it's rockiest, mind you) we both were visited by a spirit guarding several precious memories of His deceased mother, the Late Demon Queen Ryoko, who then revealed to us that she was born human and had a human child before coming to the Devildom ― a child who turned out to be a very distant ancestor of... yup, you guessed it, this disaster demon boy! Thus making Diavolo some kind of convoluted distant-A-F uncle of mine??

"Yeah... there's definitely a lot to talk about when it comes to Lord Diavolo―or as I call him, Dia-ji―and how we feel about each other. It started out pretty rocky but... we're in a much better place now. I'm even gonna introduce him to some distant cousins from my dad's side of the family I got back in contact with this summer! He's so excited, it's honestly adorable."

🔗: WHAT ARE YOUR KINKS?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Hey-o, whoa there... you're totally cool with asking someone you barely know that kinda thing? Who raised you? At least take me out to dinner first~!

"Nah but all kidding aside, my kinks are for me and my practically perfect in every way husband, Lucifer, to know... and for you to wonder about for several centuries at the very least~"

"𝑊𝘩𝑎𝑡, 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔? 𝐹𝑖𝑛𝑒... 𝐿𝑒𝑡'𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑤𝑒'𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑆𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚... 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑏𝑜𝑎𝑟𝑑~"

🤍: ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH SIMEON?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"I mean... kinda? We're friendly? I kinda keep a distance because didyouknowSimeonisactuallyChristopherPeugeot??? Mastermind and literary genius behind my literal favorite series-slash-creative world-slash-epic saga of all time??? Because... when I found out... I couldn't make so much as a sound in his presence for a whole-ass month, guys.

"So I kinda... just keep a friendly-yet-professionally-standard distance so as not to further embarrass myself."

♠️: DO YOU GAMBLE LIKE MAMMON?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Uhhh... well I guess you could technically say I used to gamble with my life every time I took a hit or a pill, or tried something new and stupid and way strong. But thankfully no I've never had a real honest gambling addiction―I had too many other addictions to juggle."

🟣: WILL YOU BE SAD TO LEAVE THE DEVILDOM?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"I'd.... ahem― I'd actually rather not talk about this... if that's okay?"

【the following is an excerpt from The Disaster Duo Chronicles, where Xhura admits to Asmodeus his wish to stay in the Devildom forever】

"You get to keep the DDD, you know?" “Yeah, and I can already promise you I’m going to lose every job I might find staring at it all day.” There’s no use in sugar-coating it. That’s exactly how bad it’s going to be for him. “I get to go back to crashing on couches and being a nothing. A waste of space. Ayla will still be going back and forth with you guys here and I’ll just be…” Xhura looks up with eyes bright with tears. “Is it weird I’ve only been here a month and a handful of weeks but I feel like it’s always supposed to be my home?”

🦴: WOULD YOU MAKE A DEAL TO COME BACK?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"If I could go back in time now and tell that scared boy just how alright everything was gonna turn out... well... can't mess with time travel like that for my own selfish gains, of course, but... thankfully all his worrying was for nothing.

"Because we get to stay. Forever."

i....... literally....... cannot believe i actually managed to do them all??? you're a rockstar bb

#obey me mc #obey me oc #;; ask game answered #my mc: xhura kusumoto #turtleybeachin #;; i seriously CANNOT BELIEVE #;; as much as I can't believe I actually answered them all #;; thanks again bb you rock #cw addiction #cw death #cw drugs #cw drug mention

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chronically-sawyer-pilled · 7 months

Text

TCSM Sissy x OC

"Sweet Sugar" Part 7

Part 1

18+, Minors BEGONE (DNI)

Warnings for whole story: NSFW, Murder, Cannibalism, Drugging, Coercion, Slight noncon, Unwanted touching, Abuse, Blood, Knifeplay, Bondage, Kidnapping, Sweat stuff, human faces being worn, pet names (sweetie, sugar, sunshine) general horror themes. This is a work of pure fiction, pure horror fiction - the actions in this story are not to be taken as positive depictions of affection.

Josie awoke at a wooden dinner table, strapped down to a chair decorated in human bones and animal parts. She looked around desperately, the room was dim, with lamps made from what looked like human skin, and animal carcasses fashioned into strange decorum. Across from her was an impossibly old man, his skin white with wrinkles upon wrinkles, like he'd been in a mausoleum for a hundred years. The first to join them at the table was the man wearing the woman's face, he sat timidly, staring at Josie before looking away nervously. The next was a thin young man with a red birthmark streaked across his face, he looked dishevelled and ragged. "you must be the girl we were lookin' for! That's her, isn't it leatherface?" He laughed to the man beside him. Johnny soon followed with Nancy behind him, he had a scowl across his face and was holding a damp cloth to his forehead, his arms were covered in bandages. The woman with him sat down beside him, whispering unheard words into his ear, his eyes never left Josie's, he just stared, angrily - furiously.

Next at the table was the old man, he sat nervously with his hands clasped together, taking a deep sigh, not even looking at Josie. Last was Sissy, who wandered in with her head down and her fists clenched. She was muttering something under her breath as she sat. "Now. How's about we get this show on the road." The old man sighed "I believe we're owed an explanation for this. You not only hid this girl from us and lied to us about it, but you damn near tore Johnny to shreds in the process too. What's so important about this girl that you had to turn against your family for her?" Nancy scowled "I hid her because I knew what would happen if I didn't. Every last one of you would be clamberin' for her! Scarin' her half to death!" Sissy cried "So what, you thought you were just gonna have her all to yerself? You'd rather starve your family than share? I thought we raised you better than that! You know we're on hard times!" The old man yelled "y-yeah, what the heck Sissy?" The thin man hissed "It's not like that!" "What, you're keepin her as a pet? We can't afford to be keepin no pets round here" The old man berated "She's not my pet, she's my soulmate! I love her, don't you understand that?!" Sissy screeched, causing the room to fall silent, and all eyes to fall on Josie, then back to Sissy. "Oh Sissy…" Nancy sighed, pressing her hand to her forehead, the old man looked around the room, sharing a confused look with the thin man. "What like… like as a best friend or-" The old man started "No, Drayton. Like a girlfriend." Nancy sighed "But… but they're both girls aren't they?" "Yes, but… I don't know. She must have learned this while she was up in California." "Like… you're in love the way g-grandpa and grandma were?" The skinny man stuttered "More than that. Her and I are bonded, we're soulmates, I know it. I felt it." "What a load of horseshit." Johnny muttered. "Johnny, language!" Nancy snapped "I mean… I guess there's no reason for it not to work like that. If Johnny's allowed to bring girls round here I suppose there's no reason Sissy shouldn't either. Especially since they can't spring no little ones." Drayton nervously chuckled to himself. "Grandpa, what do you think of this?" Nancy asked, earning only a strained groan in response "See? You hear that?! Grandpa believes me, he believes in true love!" Sissy yelled, leaping out of her seat. "Alright well… if you're gonna be keepin' this girl round here. She's got to be loyal to the family. We can't have her runnin' off willy nilly to go bring trouble round here y'know?" said Drayton, sharing a knowing glance with Nancy "Oh you don't gotta worry about a thing, she'll be as loyal as a dog, won't you sunshine?" Sissy asked "mmf." "Will she be willin' to help keep things clean round here?" Drayton asked "mmf." "And she'll be willing to help tidy up any trouble that comes our way, won't she?" Nancy asked "mmf…" "S…Sissy, she'll play hide and seek with us right? Won't she?!" The skinny man laughed "Of course she will! She'll do anything! So you'll let me keep her?!" Sissy asked, excitement lacing her words "Hold on now, she's gotta pass the most important part of bein' a member of this family. Gettin' involved in the family business. Boy, go get dinner out of the oven." Drayton snapped, commanding the man in the skin mask to scurry off into the kitchen.

#texas chainsaw massacre sissy #tcm sissy #sissy slaughter #sissy tcm #tcm johnny #texas chainsaw game #ttcsm #leatherface

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ladylilithprime · 7 months

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20 Fanfic Questions

I was tagged by @jazzforthecaptain for this right when I'm supposed to be going to bed. -_-U

How many works do you have on AO3?

172 currently posted, more to be imported and uploaded shortly....

What’s your total AO3 words count?

716,745 as of right now....

What fandoms do you write for?

Whew..... uh, lessee, Supernatural, Marvel Comics/MCU, Harry Potter, Animorphs, Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Little Mermaid, Gundam Wing, Smallville/DC Comics, Highlander, Star Trek, The Sentinel, Stargate SG1, Star Wars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sailor Moon, Tomorrow People (New/90s Series), Fullmetal Alchemist, Gravitation, Yami no Matsuei, Weiss Kreuz, Ranma ½, Pirates of the Caribbean, Good Omens, Firefly, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings et al, Daria, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Phineas and Ferb, Danny Phantom, ElfQuest, Rise of the Guardians, How To Train Your Dragon, El Goonish Shive (don't tell Dan!), Transformers, YURI!!! On Ice, Speed Racer..... uh, yeah, I think I'm forgetting some... or not mentioning them for Reasons.......

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

More Worthy Than Believed (MCU, Gen, Tony-centric, vague IronHawk)

Only Different In The Details (MCU, IronHawk plus Avengers ensemble)

Hel Hath Nick Fury (MCU, Nick Fury/Hela aka Darcy Lewis)

The Shadow You Cast Over Me (MCU, Gen, Tony-centric, unrequited Steve/Tony)

Broken Hallelujah (Supernatural, Sastiel)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Short answer is that I try to? I want to respond to comments, but sometimes I'm out of spoons and it takes me a while to work up the spoons to answer, and sometimes the comment is a demand for an update on a fic I just posted a new chapter for and I lose the motivation to write anything at all for a couple days because gods, I'm thrilled y'all enjoy my stuff but damned if I've usually got the time and energy to write fanfic around Real Life!

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably a toss up between The Shadow You Cast Over Me and A Wish Your Heart Makes. (If you didn't guess one of those, uh, well... ~offers tissues~)

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh, hell, good luck trying to pin that one down! Seriously, I can't pick, go look for yourself.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not...exactly? I mean, I once got some dumbass complaining in the comments of my clearly tagged WinterIron soulmate AU that he wanted to read WinterWindow and "not this gay shit", which, dude, we're on AO3, not FanFiction.Net, the fic was very clearly tagged and you still clicked on it, so you reading "that gay shit" is all on you, buddy. Also, same fic, someone decided that because I talk about Natasha and Yasha being familiar with borscht that I was a Russian Imperialist? I dunno, people are weird.

Do you write smut. If so what kind?

.....Yes, hello, any kind of smut I write that's actually explicit rather than kept vague or Fade To Black has a separate psued. Click at your own risk, not that I have much posted there yet.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Hmmmm.... Do I have to stick with fics that I've posted and can provide links to? I've got a LOT of crossovers that either aren't posted yet or haven't been moved over to AO3 and tracking down the links on the wider web and defunct archives is difficult.... so, I'll just cop to Lethally Blonde, the MCU/stealth-Tropic Thunder crossover, for right now.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Sort of? Someone stole a segment of "More Worthy Than Believed" wholesale and tried to pass it off as theirs a few years back, but it got discovered pretty quickly by folks who'd read the original.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't know? I think someone offered to translate one of my older fics once, but I don't know if anything came of it.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I'm listed as a collaborator for The Cadbury'verse, but aside from Bang collabs and the vague plans @rodiniaorzetalthepenquin and I have plotted about at three AM that result in one or the other of us writing fics in the same narrative universe, I don't have any posted cowritten fics.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

~thousand-yard-stare at the above list of fandoms~ .....could you be more specific?

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Dude, I just updated Only Different In The Details with a new chapter and the last update previously was in 2013! If the fic isn't marked as complete, it'll get finished eventually. (Or I'll die, but it's more likely the fic gets finished before then.)

What are your writing strengths?

World-building. I seriously LOVE world-building, and I really enjoy writing full AUs that really let me flex that!

What are your writing weaknesses?

.....forward planning. I can't seem to do it with any kind of reliability or regularity, and trying to write an outline is a scholastic exercise in futility, not to mention all the times I've gone looking for notes or scene snippets I could have sworn I wrote down or typed into chat somewhere and apparently sharing the vivid fever dream images in my head was yet another dream. On the other hand, I remember three different versions of those scenes in vivid technicolor, so I just have to pick one instead of starting three new WIPs.....

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

This is honestly why I'm slowly teaching myself seven different languages, and you can bet I prefer having a beta for those segments who is a native speaker. (Harder for Latin, Quenya, Vulcan, and Enochian, admittedly....)

First fandom you wrote for?

Trick question. The first fandom I ever wrote for and posted online was Animorphs, but I was writing fanfic as far back as second grade for Disney movies and the Sweet Valley Universe nominally by Francis Pascal. (Yes, I still have those notebooks. No, they will not be transcribed and archived online.)

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Always the fic I haven't written yet. Always. What I think is my favorite now will not likely still be my favorite next year, maybe not even next month! Hell, I can't even pick a favorite out of the ones I have posted to AO3 right this second! But then, isn't that part of the fun part of writing?

Tagging.... @rodiniaorzetalthepenquin , @karategirl80 , @slytherkins , @youarentreadingthis , @sageclover61 , @hyrulehearts1123 , and @mrswhozeewhatsis . Have fun!

#tag games #20 fanfic questions #i sleep now

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