American hot pizza from Dominos ๐๐ฅ
403 notes
ยท
View notes
You said you're back to tumblr, where are your sexy hot takes
Pineapple on pizza is actually really fucking good and most people who hate on it have either never tried it or they've never tried proper pizza (thinly rolled out, from fresh ingredients, with a rich flavoured sauce and real mozzarella) โ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธ
12 notes
ยท
View notes
americans are so good at making food items we cant get here look so much better than they are. like how well-known nyc pizza is, or how iconic kraft mac n cheese is, or hot pockets or the major fast food chains that are so famous i know about them and their twitter accounts even tho we dont have them in my country. then i went to the us and all the food was profoundly mediocre. like ngl im still a little disappointed about that fucking kraft mac n cheese cause you guys REALLY hyped it up as this nostalgic staple you loved growing up and then it tasted so bland and pathetic
10 notes
ยท
View notes
Kawaii food banner!
4 notes
ยท
View notes
That way, your palette will be fulfilled, and your weight goal also wonโt suffer. Life is too short to say no to a pizza, my friends. So, the next time you order pizza fromย Pizza Shop Coventry, you know how to have your guilty pleasure in place, right? Anything and everything done the right way wonโt harm your body. You just have to figure out how to make it right, and we hope by now you are fully aware of how to make it correct. Choose your way, and happy pizza-eating!
0 notes
Sorry for being weird on your post, but has any East Asian person gotten upset about your allergy? Hopefully you were gracious and civil and not a racist about that. Thereโs been pseudoscience regarding MSG and East Asians have been wrongly slandered for it when a 7-11 hot dog has more msg than a pile of steamed dumplings from a takeout restaurant.
I had no idea what post you were talking about; I had to go look. No idea why that old post started circulating again, but thank you for the addition.
You're right; even though I didn't mention MSG anywhere in that post, there is a lot of pseudoscience around it, and it's heavily steeped in racism.
While I've never had anyone be mean to me about it (at least not once I've explained what MCAS is), it's still very frustrating if I mention being sensitive to MSG because people immediately assume I'm talking about East Asian foods when, as you rightly pointed out, there's more MSG in your average American hot dog. Not to mention pizza.
While I get very, very ill eating things like steamed dumplings (sadly, I used to love them!) I'm going to get equally ill from eating things like tomatoes and certain cheeses, which contain MSG naturally.
Trying to explain that latter part to some people really makes their heads explode, lol. Because, yeah, MSG occurs naturally! It's flavorful and not harmful -- it's just not good for histamine-sensitive people!
Unfortunately, MCAS/HIT awareness isn't great, so people assume their symptoms are because "MSG is bad" and not because they're sensitive to histamine. It sucks. I wish people were more aware.
This is why whenever I talk about MSG I'm mindful to frame it in the above context. MSG is a safe flavor enhancer that occurs naturally and that can make some people ill because it is a histamine liberator.
The same is true of yogurt, fresh fruits, vitamin C, and a whole host of other nutrient-dense, vital foods. It's the disorder that sucks, not the foods!
2K notes
ยท
View notes
a not racist version of the food poll abt american foods :)
contenders also included corn dogs, sweet potato casserole w/ marshmallow and brown sugar, and rocky mountain oysters
4K notes
ยท
View notes
an internship at wayne interprises. (part ii)
bruce wayne x male reader headcanons
part i.
warnings: smut, age gap, bottom reader, breeding, virgin!reader, top!bruce, established relationship, lowkey kind of fluffy, bruce is falling in love.
a/n: aaaand it's finally here! i hope you all enjoy the long awaited part two! i was watching american psycho recently and bruh, i forgot how hot he looked in it. like. i want to run my tongue all over him.
โas intimidating as bruce was, he never found the courage, or time really, to isolate you from your responsibilities.
โwas it cowardliness that he was faced with? or was it that returning feeling that churned in his stomach, swelled in his chest, until it made him rethink the thoughts heโs had of you?
โguilt. he never felt it when he was jerking off to your pictures, which have become a daily routine now.ย
โbut it returned in powerful marches, ached at the center of his heart, ridiculing him for thinking about his employee in such a crude, exploitive way.
โhe always felt it when he saw you first thing in the morning, working quietly, mindlessly as your body had begun to become used to the caffeine.
โlike wind chimes, you moved around people - around the wind - not with them, as you made your way to the break room.ย
โthree packets of sugar and two spoons of creamer normally kept you awake, but the frozen pocket pizza in the toaster oven was the real source of your energy.ย
โbruce winced as he silently watched you from afar. you yawned, rubbed your eyes as the heat from the toaster oven warmed the surrounding area.
โjesus, no wonder youโre always so tired. look at the shit youโre eating.
โthe march of soldiers, rioting against guilt, roared, and he was reminded of his privilege immediately after. a butler that had been providing him three nutritious meals a day since birth, and a garden of wealth that allowed him to afford a home gym with the best equipment; it was all handed to him and while he did his best to give back to the city, it was never enough to pacify the war zone of his chest. he was a person, a wealthy person, but a person nonetheless.
โyou were a person.
โthough ironically enough, he came to the the image of you hungrily licking the grease off your fingers when you were finished with breakfast later that night.
โthere was always something new about you that he would fixate on when his hand met his cock, stroking it with a glorious amount of lube until it dried.ย
โthough he never fretted, because your lips, your face, your nose - everything about you - milked him until the fresh stock of cum had become the only slime that layered his softening erection.
โlike bruceโs nights, youโve begun infiltrating the routine of his mornings now.
โor rather, bruce began infiltrating yours after he visited you in the break room for the first time.
โgood morning, mister wayneโฆ
โoh, new intern, right? your name wasโฆ?
โhe always feigned his disinterest because he liked hearing your name come out of your handsome mouth.
โ(m/n), sirโฆ
โit sounded beautiful. the softness of your voice kindled a tenderness in bruce and it couldโve cradled him to sleep had the coffee from the break room not been so disgusting and cheap.
โthe third time, he memorized the pattern you spoke in. your voice always trailed off at the end of a sentence as if it had been stolen by a criminal.
โitโs (m/n), sirโฆ
โhe wished he could be that somebody.
โthe fifth time, heโd gotten used to the watery aftertaste of the coffee.
โwait, donโt tell me.
your name rhymes withโฆ
โand when you laughed because bruce was completely off by a mile, he saw a glimpse of your soul that had been sheltered by intimidation and anxiety.
โhe learned he wanted to become a part of your life when he took you out for lunch.
โlong overdue, but i usually take my interns out for lunch.
โbruce usually didnโt.
โohโmister wayne, i donโt think thatโs necessaryโฆ i already packed lunch.
โgreat! you donโt have to pack for tomorrow then.
โwait, but i havenโt set up the meeting withโ
โiโll get someone on itโalready made reservations, cโmon.
โheโd learned so much about you that day, then the following, and the next; your upbringing, your hopes and dreams, your downfalls, it felt like he was walking on water with the way you willingly opened more of yourself every consecutive day.
โhe could listen to you talk for hours, become poisoned by it if your voice was liquid, and bruce accepted that risk when he made another routine to invite you for lunch.
โprevious nights were as followed: he stroked his cock to you, breathing heavily into the memory of your cologne, the wrinkles of your shirt, the curl of your lips when he made a joke.
โsince heโd gotten to know you as more than a stained selfie, more than the meek statue that stood in the corner; instead of feeding himself with the thoughts of you that derived from pure lust, the reality of his nights had shifted.
โhe stroked himself, that never changed. but he closed his eyes, breathing until he could see the ghost of you by his side.
โyour shared bodies tensed into one another as his body curved forward into the arc of your back when he pushed in for the first time. you reached back to hold his thigh, pausing his thrusts because you needed to adjust, because you wanted to feel all of him in complete comfort.
โit was intimacy.
โit only melted - your body - when bruce kissed the shell of your ear, telling you that heโll continue once you were ready. you let him in, sprouted for him like a bud in spring, and felt all of him swell larger inside of you with a whimper.
โit was vulnerability.
โhe made sure you were touched, palming your erection as he rocked his own into your bud. from the nape of your neck to the hill of your back, he blessed you in the wet of his mouth, battling the sweat that had gathered on your body to see who would claim the vacancy of your body.
โhe made sure to make you feel safe, drowning you in affection with his low voice, with the bridge that had constructed between your soul and his as he thrusted deeper, connected into you when he pressed into a spot that had the heavy air memorize every letter of bruceโs name.
โand finally crossed when he filled you with all of his endearment towards you, heavy and thick in combative sequence. he never pulled away in fret of losing the sentimentโin fret of losing you.ย
โit was love.
โfrom then on, bruce was devoted to melt the frost that had shielded you, just as you had melted his.
โbecause he was going to protect you now.
โthe guilt that had been egging the shelter of his heart wilted in the pit of his stomach when he kissed you for the first time.
โand then completely died when you kissed him back.ย
โyour arms were around his neck, and his were around your waist. you and bruce slow danced to the tune of his favorite song, in the middle of his living room, and so did your lips when he leaned in again.
โit never progressed further than that, despite the ache in bruceโs pants yelling at him to. he wanted to savor every moment with you, in case he happened to chase you away like he did with the others.
โyou were special, and bruce held you like the rarest gem on earth for the first time that night.
โagain, when he visited you in mornings to drive you to work.
โagain, on nights where you were too tired to drive back to your apartment.
โagain, after morning meetings were over and every businessmen and women left the vicinity upon the announcement of food catering a few floors down.
โand then again, when bruceโs thoughts had become a reality.
โb-bruce, nghโฆ
โyou reached back to his thigh like in his thoughts, carefully maneuvering and pacing his thrusts into you. your breath stained deep into the cover of his pillow when bruce applied his weight into you, fitting his broad body to the dip of your back.
โi got you, hm?
โnice and slowโฆ
โhis voice tickled your nape, soothing it with chaste kisses when your muscles tensed, and you breathed harder into the pillow when you let his thigh go, freeing him to do as he pleased. the warmth of your breath fogged your skin as his girth opened you to a profound feeling youโve been too intimidated to discover
โfaster, pleaseโฆ
โhe was humored, not because you were embarrassing like the flush of your skin thought, but because you were still the same person heโd met months ago, appeased by it. you were calmed by an assurance, a kiss to your shoulder then your lips, yet your body only continued to bloom with roses.ย
โyouโre still so polite even when weโve done so many things togetherโฆ
โbruce pressed deeper into you, panting in your ear as he delivered on your timid demands. he knew you nowโread you like a book. you were too afraid to ask for anything despite becoming so vulnerable with each other, and he made sure that you were safe with him.
โyour requests were silent sans the moans that have escaped, but he heard every single one of them. his hips drove into you harder for a few rhythms, then excruciating slower to coerce a plea out of youโto pull your beautiful moans along with desperation.
โhe wanted to hear you, pulling himself completely out of your bud.
โf-fuuuuck, bruce! pleaseโi need you, please.
โmore, he needed to hear you want him as much as heโd been wanting you. his arms wrapped around your waist, and his fingers curled over your cock. it provided a friction, a hole for you to press into as his fist was sandwiched between your body and the bed, and you took the opportunity to desperately thrust into it.
โsecretly, youโd hope to thrust yourself back onto his cock.
โbut again, he knew you; silently observant and logical, and he raised his hips back, avoiding the desperate grinds of your bottom.
โhow badly do you need me, hm?
โhow bad do you want me?
โbruce needed to hear it, to compel a truth to his prophecy. his hand unwrapped around you and you were left desperately grinding into the soft fabric of his sheets with a whine. they were music to his ears, and the drips of his cock dribbled over the curve of your bottom as if they were notes to a stave, to the sound of your torment.
โi-i need you, pleaseโฆ
โhe exhaled.
โso bad.
โhe gulped.
โso fucking badโฆ
โhe throbbed.
โmister wayneโฆ
โpleaseโฆ
โbruceโs two worlds had collided: his previous thoughts of you rocketed into the current with a cloudy explosion, and he succumbed. you looked back at him with glassy orbs, sweat running down the side of your face, and bruce was overwhelmed by the beauty our deepest desires. how quickly it could destroy the barrier that weโve built, how quickly he could destroy yours and unfurl your vulnerabilities when he finally drove himself back in one long and smooth thrust.ย
โf-fuuuuck...
โit was continuous. you wouldnโt admit it, but he knew you preferred being filled like this. he notified the curl of your fingers, clutching at whatever you could to fulfill the aching need to grasp onto something.
โgodโ
โhard when bruce came down, but slow and affectionate when he pulled out. you felt every thick inch sliding in and out of you. at times, you would purposely tighten in fear of losing bruce, but his thrusts reminded you that you wouldnโt.
โbruce reminded you again when his lips suckled on your shoulder.
โiโm close, (m/n)โฆ
โwhen his hand stroked your aching cock.
โm-me tooโฆ
โand when bruce pushed all of his sweaty weight onto you with one hard thrust.
โshit, shitโ
โthe boiling feeling in his stomach unfurled inside of you to release his devotion in heavy, white loads. they filled you with heat, spreading thick within you as bruce slowly rocked himself weakly, squeezing every ounce of his love into you until you could feel it yourself.
โbruceโ
โyour eyes rolled back and you could feel the thick of his cum dripping out of you and down your legs the more he plunged into your hole, and it didnโt take very long for you to come undone yourself. the seam of your mouth kept your moans contained as you blasted bruceโs fist and the sheets with your affection, and it wasnโt until his hand came down to pump you that you exhaled a staggered, breathless groan. the drips came out heavy, sticky, and you rocked into bruceโs fist until they spread themselves thin onto your pelvis, over your cock, and stained deep into the sheets.
โas you both lay breathless, bruce remained on top, puzzled into you as he found comfort in your muscles loosening like the flaccid of your length. he continued playing with your soft flesh, squeezing and spreading the layer of seed that covered his hand, and chuckled when you silently squirmed.ย
โnot away from him like heโd thought, but back into him.
โbecause he was your guardian now.
nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. and if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!
2K notes
ยท
View notes
what's your favorite flavor of pizza, and what's the *best* flavor of pizza?
Iiiii like my pizzas howIlike my women - American Hot, โโโโโโ
340 notes
ยท
View notes
๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐ || ๐๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก ๐ฑ ๐๐๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ซ
๐๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ฒ: ๐/๐ง ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐ง๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ฐ๐๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ง๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ฐ๐๐ซ ๐๐ฌ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ญ๐ก ๐๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐.
๐๐๐ซ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ: ๐
๐ฅ๐ฎ๐๐ โฐ
(This is Inspired by When Zendaya and Tom Holland did this interview, so it may be similar but different in a way)
๐/๐ง: ๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ฌ๐ญ! ๐๐ฆ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ . ๐ฅฒ
--------------
โโโโโ-
You and Tom entered the room which had a table in the middle and chair on opposite sides. You both Greet Some of the Camera Crew and The interviewer behind the Camera. You didnโt know what exactly we were doing but you walked towards the table and saw the words Strongly Agree, Agree,Disagree And Strongly disagree.
You sat down and so did Tom as you guys smiled at each other ready for whatever is about to happen. As the Camera started rolling The interviewer broke the silence as she started to Explain what You both are gonna do.
โโโโ-
๐๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ :
โI like American Football,I just donโt understand Why itโs called Footballโ Tom complained about the sport. You Let out a short giggle looking at him while he explained. โCause they donโt use their feetโ He continued as he looked behind the Cameras as he explained. You agreed with him as you said โyeah, it should be called something different maybeโ nodding and now looking behind the cameras as well, Playing with you Rings on my finger.
โThrowball? But whatever you wanna call it.โ Tom started to smile. You laughed at his Response. โThrowball?!โ โYes! Cause you donโt even kick it!โ He started to Gesture with his Hands. โWell you do kick it once.โ You point at him. โYeah but just once.โ Tom explained.
โโโโ
โโ
โItโs like a Face off.โ You squinted my eyes at him. โI know. Weโre supposed to be a team right?, I hope we agree on anything love.โ He let out a chuckle squinting back. โOkay! Letโs do this!โ You chuckled
The Interviewer started off with the first Question. โ๐๐ข๐ง๐๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ง ๐๐ข๐ณ๐ณ๐ ๐๐ฌ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ.โ
She stated. As soon as You heard the Question Your Face turned into Disgust. You both grabbed Your cups and slid it to Your Opinionโs. You chose Strongly Disagree. Tom Chose Strongly Agree.
Tom looked at You shocked. โI donโt understand why people are so afraid of Pineapple on pizza?โ Tom shrugged. You disagreed. โ No, Thatโs unnaturalโ
โโโโ-
โ๐๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐๐ง ๐๐จ๐จ๐ ๐๐ฌ ๐๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ฌ๐ก ๐๐จ๐จ๐.โ
As soon as Tom heard that He made a face and moved his cup to โStrongly Disagreeโ. โI really, I really donโt know. I havenโt had enough of Yโallโs food to know.โ You made a questionable face.
โIโll Do it for you.โ Tom grabbed your cup and moved it to โStrongly Disagreeโ with his cup. You let out a giggle at his response. โWell I like to say I do enjoy the food we got, but I really donโt knowโ You smiled as you grabbed your cup and placed it infront of you.
โYeahโ Tom nodded as he Agreed with you. โIโm mean America food? Itโs like hot dogs?โ You questioned the Interviewer. โYeah what is American food?โ Tom Asked looking behind the Camera.
โ๐๐ก๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐๐ก๐จ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐. ๐๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐๐ง ๐๐ก๐จ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ฌ๐ก ๐๐ก๐จ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐?
โOh itโs gotta be British chocolate love.โ Tom now looked at you. โI donโt really Know the difference..โ You smiled at him. โTrust me.โ Tom replied.
โ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ฒ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ฌ๐ก ๐๐ก๐จ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐?โ
โWell, I mean not like enough to Likeโ You made movements with you hands explaining.
โ๐ฐ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ก๐๐ซ๐.โ They now gave a box to Tom.
โOoh Jaffa Cakes? Love me Some Jaffa cakes. Have you ever had a Jaffa cake?โ Tom looked at the box and looked back up to you. โNo.โ Shaking your head. โWould you like to try one?โ Tom offered. โSure.โ As he started to open the box Tom explained what the dessert was.
โItโs uh- Like an orange-โ you Cut him off. โNo.โ You put your hands up In defense. Tom looked up at you. โI donโt like Orange flavored things.โ You started to Laugh and So did the Crew. Tom Joined in.
โNo but I actually donโt like orange flavored things!โ You smiled at Tom. โTry it though! Itโs not Orange-Flavored. Itโs actually got Orange in it.โ Tom passed the Cookie shaped object to you. โYeah, Orange,Chocolate. Not for me.โ you started to giggle.
You grabbed the Jaffa cake out of Tomโs hand and started to smell it. โTry it,Try,it. Thatโs double tasty. I promise.โ As Tom Popped on into his mouth. โThat doesnโt smell right!โ You Now extended your hand and put the Jaffa cake infront of Tomโs Nose.
โSmell it!โ You asked. โSmell it?! Iโve got one in my mouth!โ Tom mumbled. โThat doesnโt smell very goodโ You brought the Jaffa cake to your mouth as you took a nibble. โLove, you havenโt got to the Orange-bit yet.โ Tom pointed to the center of the Jaffa cake.
โOh thatโs gotta be the Worst partโ You made a disgusted face looking at Tom. Tom started to chuckle.
โI mean whatโs in it?โ You asked pointing to the Jaffa cake. โOrange filling.โ Tom explained. You made a Gagging face. The crew and Tom started to laugh at your Response. Tom now was putting back the Jaffa cakes in the box.
โI respect that.โ Tom nodded. ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝCan I take these?โ He asked the Producer. The producer agreed. โWould you like to have mine?โ You asked Tom as you offered the Jaffa cake to him, โsure.โ Tom grabbed it from you hand as he popped it into his mouth.
โโโโ-
Like by 89,546 and others
Tomynsources If you havenโt go check out the new video that was just posted! Y/n and Tom were both so Cute and Chaotic in this video ๐ ๏ผ y/nusername ๏ผ tomblyth
๐ต๐๐พ๐ ๐บ๐
๐
๐ผ๐๐๐๐พ๐๐๐
๐ด๐๐พ๐๐ฃ๏ผ๐ณ๐ง๐ ๐ณ๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ณ๐ง๐ค๐ฑ ๐ ๐ญ๐ฃ ๐ฅ๐ ๐ณ๐ง๐ค๐ฑ
๐ด๐๐พ๐๐ค๏ผ๐ณ๐๐พ ๐๐บ๐ ๐๐พ ๐ฝ๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐บ๐๐๐๐พ ๐ป๐บ๐ผ๐ ๐๐ฟ ๐๐๐พ ๐ฝ๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐พ ๐ณ๐๐พ ๐๐บ๐ฟ๐ฟ๐บ ๐ผ๐บ๐๐พ๐๏ผ๐บ๐๐ฝ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐๐พ๐ผ๐๐พ๐ฝ ๐๐๐บ๐๏ผ
^ ๐ด๐๐พ๐๐ฅ๏ผ๐ญ๐พ๐พ๐ฝ ๐บ ๐๐บ๐ ๐
๐๐๐พ ๐ณ๐๐ ๐ก๐
๐๐๐ ๐
๐ด๐๐พ๐๐ฆ๏ผ๐ง๐พ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฟ๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐ ๐๐พ๐พ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฟ๐บ๐๐
๐๐พ๏ผ๐ซ๐๐๐พ ๐๐๐พ ๐๐พ๐พ๐ฝ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐พ ๐๐พ ๐๐พ๐ ๐ถ๐บ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐ป๐พ๏ผ
๐ด๐๐พ๐๐ง๏ผ๐จ ๐บ๐ป๐๐๐
๐๐๐พ๐
๐ ๐
๐๐๐พ ๐๐๐พ๐๐ ๐ข๐๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐๏ผ
๐ด๐๐พ๐๐จ๏ผ๐จ๐๐พ ๐บ๐
๐๐บ๐๐ ๐๐บ๐๐๐พ๐ฝ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐บ๐ฟ๐ฟ๐บ ๐ผ๐บ๐๐พ๐ ๐ป๐๐ ๐๐๐พ๐๐พ๐ ๐๐๐๐พ ๐๐๐พ๐๐พ ๐๐ ๐บ๐ ๐ฉ
๐ด๐๐พ๐๐ฉ๏ผ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ซ๐จ๐ช๐ค๐ฒ ๐ฏ๐จ๐ญ๐ค๐ ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฏ๐จ๐น๐น๐ ๏ผ๏ผ
^ ๐ด๐๐พ๐๐ช๏ผ๐ธ๏ผ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ ๐ข๐ค ๐ ๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ ๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐ง๐ค ๐ง๐ค๐ ๐ฑ๐ฃ ๐ณ๐ง๐ ๐ณ๏ผ
๐ญ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก and ๐/๐ง๐ฎ๐ฌ๐๐ซ๐ง๐๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ข๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ฒ
๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ
๐ฌ๐บ๐๐๐พ๐๐
๐๐๐
๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐๐พ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฒ๐พ๐๐ฝ ๐๐พ ๐๐๐๐พ ๐ฑ๐พ๐๐๐พ๐๐๐๏ผ โค๏ธ๏ธ
346 notes
ยท
View notes
๐ป๐ธ๐ด๐ท๐ถ๐ด๐๐๐ โ
๐ฃ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐โ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ :
ted logan โ
type of guy:
sweet lovey-dovey dork, this himbo will be all over the place
as soon as bill mentions valentines day, all the hairs on his body just stand
the thought of him being so lovey cringes him out but he's just can't remove the obsession with you.
he's so tooth-rottenly cute, when you're around him, he just don't know what to do with himself. you approaching him is like him seeing an alien. either runs away or just freezes and breaks a sweat when you talk to him.
youโre his brainrot and ted's just sadistically a victim to it, completely wrapped around your fingers
musters up the courage and makes it his objective to make the most excellent v-day ever
creating planning boards in his room, preparation talks with Bill, lowkey stalking you at school
saves up every penny in his piggy bank, not wasting a single dollar
reads up on things on what girls would like
love language is quality time and words of affirmation
valentines plans:
excellent adventure tedโ you first spend the day on an afternoon at an arcade; you and ted wearing casual formal outfits (ted in his tuxedo and converses, you in a dress and sneakers), playing on all of the arcade machines, giggling, screaming and laughing and goofing around.
he then takes you to his favourite spot by the Circle K, chilling down on the pavement. playing some UNO/tells you his wild adventure stories/jamming out to punk & pop rock on his speaker, sitting and eating slushies and a hot dog
OR
after the arcade, he takes you to a diner, ordering a classic American meal (two burgers, fries, onion rings, two milkshakes with the extra cream & a cherry-on-top)
finishes the date with a trip back to Bill's, awaiting a heartwarming surprise (aka the anticipated secret)
he cutely takes your hand and sits you down on a chair, closing your eyes whilst you wait. 5 minutes later, you take them off at his command, waterworks immediately start to run as you look at the sight infront of you.
ted, with his guitar, announces his special song for you.
hands begin to strum on the guitar, puppy loving eyes gazing into yours, heartfully. ted serenades you with a sweet melody, accompanied by his surprisingly sweet voice
in the garage that's decorated in cutesy heart decor; red and pink balloons and banners all over the place, you feel as if you're in a safe haven, enchanted away here by your adorable, innocent boyfriend
mid performance, ted brings you up to the stage, twirling you around and then dancing with you. his big BFG self towers over you, slowly rocks your body and embraces you tight with his bulky arms. leaning in his head, ted finally caresses your face and kisses youโ signing off the most excellent Valentines day ever. . .
bogus journey tedโ either takes you to the movies or rents a movie at the local blockbuster, so he can watch with you in his apartment
for the outing, he takes you to the movies to watch a cheap chick flick he thinks you'd like; popcorn, nachos and a big shake
at home, he puts on a sci-fi movie, both stuffing down on a large pepperoni pizza, watching contently
afterwards, you kick back and relax for a long smoke sesh, getting high on some good weed whilst he puts an arm around you, nestling and cuddling with you close
he'll definitely brings out a guitar and sing to you, smoking a spliff that still rests between his lips (typical lightskin moment)
one way or another in ol' netflix and chill fashion, the night ends with ted loving on your bodyโ giving you the most ultimate rocker boy finale his bodacious girl needs . . .
face the music tedโ buys two VIP tickets, for the both of you, to a summer rock festival across state; booking an all-inclusive hotel nearby so you and him can rest in with convenience (away from the kids)
packs all the necessitiesโ snacks, water, a pack of beer, foldable chairs, portable fans, sunscreen, a pair of sunglasses, and a charging bank
you both get to the airport, getting on a plane and travelling off into the concert place
arriving at the hotel; you unlock and enter your roomโ spacious king-sized double bed, tv, automated bathroom and a great view outside the window. the hotel has an all-you-can-buffet that you never forget to not miss
following the next day, you dress up for the concert; you wear a house of sunny 'lemons on a plate' dress with yellow sandals, and ted wears a white t shirt and cargo shorts, styling up with sandals and a hat
for the whole three days, you and ted rock out to live iconic rock music. screaming, jumping, and partying; dancing like you never you could
golden retriever ted watches out for you; handing you snacks, cleaning after you, supplying water, emergency hugs, cheering you up
breaks into a chuckle and laughs when he catches your boomer self taking videos and pictures, uploading them onto facebook and instagram ('me and hubby @/tedtheologan rocking out at the _____ festival! party on, dudes ! ๐๐คฉ๐๐๐โค๏ธ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐โก๏ธ๐ค๐ค๐ซ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐ธโค #____festival #summer #sunny #fun #mostexcellent #smiley #happy #happyvalentinesday #rockfestival #yolo #youngforever #foreveryoung #tb #throwback #80s #1988 #2024 #thenvsnow #wyldstallyns #mosttriumphant #rockmusic #date #valentines #couple #airguitar #happy36thyearanniversary')
last night of the festival ends with a colourful night show, fireworks lighting up and crackling the night sky. under the bright lights, ted takes your hand and holds them. warm, tall body pressed against yours, he gazes down on you with such love. gently caresses your face, hazel orbs boring into yours, rubbing the small of your back soothingly. he closes in and kisses you on the lips, passionately making out with you
the fireworks continuously keep lighting up in the background, looking like a happy ending straight out of a movie.
type of gifts:
handmade stuff: arts and craft/DIY cards with cute stickers, colourful glitter, ribbons and drawings (imagine him getting glue all over his fingers and hands, big 6'1 self hunched over his little creations uwu)โ gifts you a teddy bear and says something along the lines of: "babe, i got you this teddy bear, even though i'm, like, totally your teddy bear... and my name is Ted!", some candies, 'girly stuff' like makeup, "..because you're a babe and all..", a handwritten song personally made for you (with the help of wingman Bill), tulips and roses he got from his England expedition, an antique necklace he got from his Greece expedition, heart-shaped chocolates, some tapes and vinyls of your favourite music
john constantine โ
type of guy:
typically indifferent
depressingly and callously cynical
not the one to be celebrating stuff like that, but he'll do what it takes to make you happy
he knows it's still worth it, just as long as it's with you
love language is gift giving and physical touch
valentines plans:
literally remembers ON the day, springing up from bed and bolting outside. goes to like 30 different stores, searching for the best presents he can find
runs back home with last minute stuff before the sunset. doorbell suddenly rings and john opens up, smiling as he sees the love of his life, you all prettied up in a cherry red dress, heels and matte makeup (something is bulging...)
you and john get in the car and he drives you out to a late night dinner, only to be met with disappointment when the restaurant he spoke to earlier informs him that the reservations are all booked up
sighing in devastation, john bows his head and shakes disapprovingly. he looks up to give you a weak smile and rubs your back reassuringly, gesturing you to head back inside the car. the both of you drive back to his, decidedly opting for some Chinese
you both head back to his, decidedly opting on some Chinese
john resumes back to finishing the set up of the living room; red candles and roses on the coffee table
impromptu date begins: candle lit dinner in front of the tv, you both drink some wine and eat some takeout, watching a random movie
finishing up, you doze off asleep, snoring on his lap
john still watches the tv, glancing down on you every 5 minutes. he wraps a warm cloth around you, resting a hand on your back. the urge of him to kiss you is burning him alive but he remains neutral.
he's upset that the day has been ruined, the one thing that he could've gotten right all slipped and fell out of his fingers. his callous self for once actually cares about something, something he originally thought was 'insignificant', something he wished it could've gone more better
even though the day didn't go out as planned, you've insisted that it's not too badโgrateful for the date overall. it's small and disorganised, but as least it's something, , as least it all ended with him
types of gifts:
silver antique jewellery, a card, giant teddy bear, a box of chocolates, and roses
john wick โ
type of guy:
DILF, DILF, DILF
valentines day with baba yaga?!
already got the whole day planned and sketched out, back-to-back
john's fat wallet's will treat you well
always 'knows a guy', so you know your ass is about to be showered to filth
the wholesome family man side of him will be coming out, abandoning the stoic, brutally cold assassin behind
no more john wickโ now it is jardani jovonovich
love language is gift giving, acts of service and physical touch
valentines plans:
he would start the morning with cooking you a nice sunny side up and toast, a side of maple pancakes and coffee. whilst you eat, he calls up a spa centre and gets you booked in at a lavish clinic, ordering some men to take you there privately. he asks you to call up your friends, inviting them to the spa day as well. gives you his card and some change just in case. once you leave, he cleans up your plate and cleans up the house, decorating and preparing whilst you're gone.
a full day later with hanging out with your girls, you return back home, deeply relaxed from the tantalising spa treatment. opening up, the house is completely dark and quiet, only seeing rose petals leading off to somewhere. walking along the rose covered path, you follow it and halt at the dining room. right there at the table, sits your husband of 5 years, warm smile on his face; white polo shirt and jeans. he gets up to greet you, kissing you on the lips and forehead
john's whipped up a classic candle lit dinner, steak and baked potatoes with a glass of wine. after a nice hearty meal, he takes you upstairs via the rose-petal lane, leading you to the bathroom. you're welcomed to a bubbling hot bathtub; two glasses of champagne, face masks, scented candles, and a charcuterie board sitting on the bath rack. you two hop in and relax in the tub, slippery naked bodies against each other. you watch a drama series on his laptop, silently staring at the screen
one blink later and you're in bed with john. big hands clasping on your small waist, bearded kisses and pecks littering on your stomach, muscular strong body dominating over yours, stocky fingers slipping to unholy places; john ends the day with pleasuring you for the night, showing you what no other man but him can give.
types of gifts:
surprise trips, full package spa treatments, his card for shopping trips, makeup, perfume, high end clothes, expensive wine, a bouquet of flowers, chocolate, a small teddy bear, menstruation stuff (pads, tampons, pills, hot water bottle pouch, snacks, his masseuse expertise, babyโ this man loves you), anything you want, name a price, john will be your man
thomas anderson (neo) โ
type of guy:
similar to constantine but more open-minded in his indifference
either forgot or is pretty clueless on what to do
casually flips through calender and scares himself shocked as he realise the date is tomorrow
goes on a forum to ask for help: "@/cyberspacecatontheweb: any suggestions for valentines day ?? I (37M) and a girlfriend (34F) are going out on a date and I don't know what to do. sm1 help a guy out thx"
goes on the internet and researches on ideas
eventually gives up and just scraps the ideas, goes with the flow
love language is quality time and physical touch
valentines plans:
thomas wakes up early and gets changed; black shirt and suit on. you arriving to the 101 apartment, he takes you out to a Chinese restaurant downtown. orders quite a lot of foodโ dumplings, stir fry, sweet and sour chicken, rice, hot pot, and bbq ribs. he pays the bill and you two leave, walking out to window shop.
later in the evening, thomas takes you up to a rooftop, sitting down and watching the city below. he hesitates, but then opts to spontaneously show you 'something cool'. gets out a tech device and presses a button, opening up a cybernetic portal. jumps inside and pulls you with him. you both teleport to a white void, confused and scared as fuck. thomas reassures you and shows you some of his latest tricks like emerging buildings and cities out of nowhere, binary codes that pop up and creates a giant ass dog that almost eats you, floating and flying through a cyberspace wormhole. for the last bit, he gently grabs your hand and shows you the last thing he promised: binary codes formulate and change, syncing up together and creating a love heart. thomas presses another button and the heart opens up, revealing a cybernetically generated portrait of you and him, written underneath 'happy valentines day xoxo'. his hands move to your waist and he slowly kisses you, simultaneously taking you back to the real world.
types of gifts:
digitally-made things: flowers, teddy bear, heart, a picture of you. makes a hologram gadget that does origami, a scented candle he remembers you like, cool tech glasses, paired with some gloves, that's installed with a program that allows you to do things- holographic games and worlds all built into these spectacles (norman jayden from heavy rain reference)
jonathan harker โ
type of guy:
mr darcy-coded
valentines day with him would be a fairytale, straight out of a book
sensitive, kind, chivalrous, charming, courteous, and hardworking, your princelike husband who will always know how to woo you to your knees
planned everything in his sanctuary, ready to show you how he can treat you well
love language is gift giving, acts of service and quality time
valentines plans:
you wake up to a traditional english breakfast-in-bed; hot tea, coffee, porridge, bread, and eggs, served by maids. then you're being dressed up for the day, maids helping you out into your modest and elegant attire, fixing your hair, doing your makeup, and dusting you down. jonathan escorts you onto to the carriage, heading off first to a picnic at an expansive, spacious garden. The place is embroidered with pretty plants and flowers, fresh fragrance of pollen filling your nose. you and jonathan settle on the grass, laying a blanket. you enjoy some tea, crumpets, scones, and sandwiches, admiring the floral nature. jonathan dotes you inbetween small talk, complimenting your look frequently. for some short time, you both get up and walk around, appreciating the afternoon. after the picnic, he hires a photographer to have your picture taken. you sit on a chair as jonathan stands behind you, posing for the camera.
shortly comes the evening and it's time for the special occasion. you both get onto the carriage again, heading off to a restaurant. the restaurant is filled to the brim of posh people alike, halls decked with chandeliers and embellished with statues and paintings. the pair of you enjoy the night, relishing and dinning happily. jonathan brings you back home, taking you to the bedroom to surprise you with a bundle of flowers and a toy bear. he kisses you softly and gracefully on the head, reminding you of his love. you both tuck into bed and lay down for the night, sleeping peacefully into each other's arms.
type of gifts:
a basket full of roses, lilies, orchids and carnations. handwritten poem, a card enveloped and stamped with a red heart wax seal, chocolates from romania, dainty jewellery, toy bear, fragrance, a trip to paris, tickets to see an opera and a theatre performance, small trinkets, fruits, and a pocketwatch locket.
kevin lomax โ
type of guy:
sugar daddy kevinnnnn
toxic but fine husband
will absolutely spoil you rotten, pampering you like a princess
love language is gift giving, physical touch, and acts of service
valentines plans:
first thing in the morning, breakfast's being sent to you at the penthouse. kevin leaves a note on the nightstand: "hey sweetheart, it's me. how was breakfast? it was good, right? i've called in your boss to let him that you're sick, so no need to go to the office. your whole day will be booked: spa treatment, nails, hair, and a private boutique booked so you can try on some new outfits that you'll be choosing for the evening. make sure you wear that lingerie i got you and don't miss any of those appointments. daddy's gonna have fun with you tonight.
love kevin xoxo"
you do as exactly he says, rushing up & down, excitedly getting changed. a black limo takes you to and back of all destinations, attending all your scheduled appointments. at the boutique, a blonde clerk waits for you, standing by a row of clothing racks with designer clothes hanged and heels below to select from. after carefully selecting, you choose a snug black dress and heels, fully dolled up for the occasion. a makeup artist quickly does your makeup, just in the nick of time kevin arrives, black waist coat and suit & tie. you exit the building to find him standing by the car. his eyes wonder around and check you out, hypnotised by your beauty. linking arm to arm, you two are driven to the wall street restaurant. the place is luxurious; interior design opulent and rich. kevin grabs a seat at the vip section, inviting some of his fellow law firm coworkers along. you cheers to a good night and dig in to the fine dining, enjoying the night. almost midnight, you and kevin return back home, immediately jumping into the jacuzzi.
you strip out of your clothes and wear the cute swim piece that kevin's bought for youโ a black skimpy bikini that hugs all of your curves and cleavage. you sit back and relax with your man, peacefully sipping some champagne and enjoying each other's company. many drinks and pillowtalks later, the night ends with what you exactly expects: sounds of skin slapping and bed shaking; your moans echo throughout the bedroom. kevin's tall body thrusts repeatedly into you, grunting and groaning as he fucks your pussy. lasting with the real pillow princess treatment, kevin worships your body and makes love to you, showing you who you really belong to. . .
types of gifts:
expensive makeup, luxury trips abroad, designer outfits, exclusive spa treatments, sexy lingerie, his black card for those shopping trips, perfume, deluxe jewellery and accessories, a bouquet of roses tied in a bow, heart-box of chocolates, expensive wine and champagne, adult toys (wink wink), a white teddy bear, polaroid photos of you and him
288 notes
ยท
View notes
Iโm an American student staying in the UK for Christmas. I feel lonely and isolated up here, away from my family. There are some dumbass chav lads having a Christmas party downstairs. I want to join them, but I donโt think Iโd fit in. Do you think the chronoviac could help me?
To get into the Christmas spirit, listen to Bach's Christmas Oratorio on your Sonnox speakers. You struggle to drown out the bass of the music from the party below you. Suddenly there's a crackle in your speakersโฆ And the same music is coming out of the speakers as the music from the party. And surprisingly, you know that it's MC Devvo & Shady Piez. You love the music. Best party music ever. But it doesn't go with a glass of red wine, it goes better with a beerโฆ You go to the kitchen. Shit, there's none left in the fridge. But on your coffee table, where a moment ago there was an Advent wreath, a plate of your mother's cookies and your glass of red wine, there are still a few cans of beer between overflowing ashtrays and pizza boxes. You shake them. Hehehe, there's still something in this one. You spit the sip out again immediately. What kind of pig put his cigarette butts in the can? Thank God there's still something left in a can. Stale, warm as piss. But better than nothing.
Shit, the heating in your fucking council apartment is going crazy again. It's as hot as a sauna. You take off your stuffy shirt. It doesn't go with your jogging bottoms and Adilettes anyway. You turn up the music. You don't care that the neighbors are banging on the wallโฆ Suddenly the doorbell rings. You look through the peephole. It's one of your mates from the apartment below. He yells at you, asking why you're having your own party and not downstairs with them. After all, it's bloody Christmas.
You say you're going to put something on and come down in a minute. Your mate grabs your nipples and laughs. In half an hour at the latest you'll all be fucking each other anyway. Putting something on beforehand would be a miserable waste of time. Best Christmas ever!
Pic with with appropriate clothing for the Christmas party found @tayloreverett
189 notes
ยท
View notes
Would you say that the political commentary of SBAHJ takes more inspiration from American MycCarthyism during the Cold War Era or from your own gaping asshole?
in the latest double releases, i was really channeling that feel when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food drunk and you drop the shitty frozen pizza topping side down and fall ass first into the oven searing your ass like a steak.
so you get up and shimmy over to the shower to try and cool your reddened ass cheeks but, again, youre drunk so you slip in the shower and knock yourself out. when you come to, youve been pounded on both ends, and your house is on fire because you forgot to turn the oven off. as you shamble your sorry ass towards the exit, you find that your frozen pizza is some how miraculously cooked to perfection so you pick that up and roll outside.
your shit may be wrecked but at least you got some za is all im saying.
134 notes
ยท
View notes