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mlobsters · 6 months

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supernatural s11e16 safe house (w. robbie thompson)

you know the first time i tried to watch the haunting of hill house i noped right out of it because straight out of the gate it was kids in bed and ghosty things and them being scared and hit all the parent of small children alarm bells at once. anyway, similar vibes :p (now all 3 of my kids sleep in the same room [their choosing] and my 5yo told me if he has a bad dream when he wakes up he's not scared because he sees his brothers in the room with him 🥺🥺🥺)

all right. scraped off a sigil, rufus in the thumbnail

SAM Dean we can't just sit around and - and wait for a lead. Plus, it would be nice to get a win, this case seems like a lay-up. DEAN Yeah, when's the last time we had a layup?

we sure never get to see them if they do :p milk run to basketball

RUFUS. Yeah. Well if by backup you mean you do all the heavy lifting while I watch. It's Shabbat! BOBBY Are you serious? RUFUS Deadly! BOBBY You drove over here, ain't that against the rule? RUFUS Ah, ah, ah! Less talkin', more hunting.

little callback to 6x16

DEAN I got to say, I never figured Rufus for the religious type. BOBBY Well, he didn't exactly keep kosher. He always used to pull the old "can't work on the sabbath" card whenever we had to bury a body.

ugh, i missed him. and he makes me more fond of bobby too (who i don't dislike, i just never really fully connected with). their bickering is top notch

possible ghost hunt with jackass, i love it

RUFUS What what, my turn? Yo - yo, Bobby. Read my lips, Bobby. I cannot help you. Alright, it is Sabbath. BOBBY It is after sundown, so get to diggin'. RUFUS (Looking around at the darkness around them) Good catch.

so cute. the direct parallels to the boys -> amara / apocalypse are a little much but i'm not gonna complain with all this good food from robbie

BOBBY Been burning the midnight oil. Last couple of weeks. Up for days. Lookin' for ways to stop the apocalypse. Lookin' for - anything. Sam and Dean are right in the middle of this thing. I'm worried about my boys, Rufus. RUFUS Your boys? [BOBBY gives him a look.] RUFUS Hey, hey. Alright, okay, Papa bear. But you know more than anyone, Bobby. Even if we find a way to keep the world spinning, not everyone's going to be on that bus ride home. Sacrifice, greater good. All that jazz.

makin me cry

BOBBY Yeah, I know. RUFUS Oldest rule of hunting, Bobby. You can't save everyone.

rufus 😢

nosy neighbor / the x-files s2e5 duane berry

this lady was in the duane berry episode of the xfiles which i can't find her in the episode but it was the one with mulder in the red speedo :p

i like sam's shirt. this back and forth brainstorming is nice (could you pick a more uncomfortable place to perch your ass, sam). also another break from the main plot is a relief

RUFUS What happens to the remains of the souls in the nest? BOBBY Well they wither too, but they stay with the Soul Eater, keeping it fed in lean times. Sorta like a cud. RUFUS Ew.

cosigned

SAM You know it's too bad Bobby and Rufus aren't around to see this stuff. They'd have been great Men of Letters. DEAN Yeah, grumpy old Men of Letters, but yeah.

💔 yeah. thinking about how they don't have that more experienced hunter backup in a person anymore, someone who is gonna be on their side no matter what, just the bunker files and flaky celestial beings. sad trombone

DEAN Which means one of us has to go on there. SAM Yeah. DEAN Not it. SAM Uh, dude.

children, lol

years or winning with one blip, i don't think sammy's worried

DEAN We are never settling anything with that stupid game again. Ever.

BOBBY If memory serves, things are about to get hairy. RUFUS You wanna hold my hand?

cute cute. is dean gonna see bobby in the nest?

ah, a fake dead sam, that's surely a good choice for making his soul vulnerable

aw, and a fake dead sam and dean for bobby. catch me wondering if those are era-accurate sideburns on sam :p

bobby and rufus are the slowest painters to paint. come on boys, pick up the pace! good grief. stressin me out :p

THE SOUL EATER You know your brother wants to go to The Darkness. He needs to go. But I can keep you safe. Both of you. Forever.

seems very trustworthy

(from earlier in the episode) SAM The Soul Eaters aren't really here or there, but apparently they can muster enough strength to yank their vic's souls out of this world, and into their nest. And then as soon as the vic's in the nest, they're outside of our space and time.

had to go back and see if he said something about the nests not being bound to time, i will admit to sort of zoning out during the details of the monstery stuff. so sam and dean saved bobby from the future, make me cry again

❤️

BOBBY My boys. Both of 'em. Both of 'em dead. And I saw… well I don't know what the hell I saw. RUFUS Yeah well. Forget the oldest rule, Bobby. BOBBY Are you gettin' soft on me, Rufus? RUFUS Yeah, soft this.

s11e16 / s7e12 (forgot what jody looked like with longer hair!)

SAM Hey, you said the Soul Eater made you see things. Plural. So… what else did you see? DEAN I saw you. Dead on the floor. SAM Hmm. DEAN What? SAM How messed up are our lives that you seeing a vision of dead me is actually kind of comforting?

indeed it is, on both accounts. also comforting that dean just tells him, doesn't brush it off. is this growth?

thank you again, robbie. giving the people (me) what they like/want/need

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 11x16 #spn 7x12 #rip rufus #robbie thompson #spn 6x16

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potionboy3 · 2 years

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Character profile

► basics; Full Name: Viveka Niomi Raeburn Birthday: June 21st 1968 Pronouns: she/her Sexual Orientation: bi Hogwarts House: slytherin Blood Status: pureblood Nationality: English Personality type: INTJ

► Personality: she's cruel and witty and smart. Sometimes she goes too far overestimating her own strength and has to accept help. She hates not getting her way and has a very slim patience.

► magical info;

Wand: Alder wood with a phoenix feather core, 12 ¾ and brittle flexibility Patronus: Runespoor Patronus Memory: a feeling of being unbeatable, at some point a memory of her and Gabriel having dinner and laughing Boggart: It's her family who she abandoned for her own goals looking at her guilty Specialized/Favourite Spells: avada kedavra, fire spells

► background;

Place of Birth: Raeburn manor

Home: Lives together with Gabriel after graduating Hogwarts but they change locations a lot.

Pre-Hogwarts: Viveka was raised in an orphanage. She was talented and smart even before school and very independent. As a child she wanted to get adopted but the older she got the less wanted it. She wanted to turn 17 and find her own path. She was often awful to the other children and believed that she was greater than any of them.

► physical;

Faceclaim: Anya Chalotra Eye Color: purple Hair Color: Black Height: 5 feet 6 inches or 1.68 m

► Story;

Viveka was kidnapped as a baby as a plot against the Raeburns and taken to an orphanage where she grew up unknown about her background. When Viveka was in school she met a similar soul Gabriel Grimm. The two became friends and together made a decision to join the dark lord. She was very powerful and in favor of Lord Voldemort because of their similar background (she was unknown about).

In the end she changed her mind about following Voldemort, not feeling it gave her enough freedom and she and Gabriel plotted their escape together.

She learned the truth about her parents after the second wizard war and took the Raeburn name to use.

Later Gabriel worked with Elian Goldcrest in order to find a hidden artifact and Viveka helped them, but in the end she chose her own path and left.

► relatives;

Parents: Acacius & Amara Raeburn

She got to know her parents after the second wizard war. They tried to form a relationship but it was very difficult with Viveka’s background and personality. She did take their name in use.

Brother: Farrow Raeburn

During Farrow's school years, Gabriel and Viveka were tormenting Farrow's friend group but the two were unaware of being siblings. During the war she ended up helping Farrow few times after finding out the truth and the two have formed a complicated friendship.

Cousin: Verna Malinda @gaygryffindorgal

► relationships;

Allegiances: Voldermot, Death eaters, Goldcrests

Love Interests: OPEN

Best friend: Gabriel Grimm @gaygryffindorgal

Childhood Best friend turned trusted ally and the most important person in her life.

Enemies: Voldemort, Death eaters, Harry Potter, order of the Phoenix, Circle of khanna...

► misc;

Hobbies & Extracurriculars: dancing, dueling, reading Favourite Subject: defense against the dark arts, history of magic

Professions: -Death Eater and a traveler -Assassin after the war

#Viveka raeburn #hp golden era oc #hphm #she was definitely not Farrow's sister when I came up with her 6 months ago but things just happened #open for interaction #character profile mine

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brightonpages · 9 days

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Hi there!

Since I felt the need to relaunch this blog, I figured I should do it right and introduce myself.

I'm Brighton Page and I write original stories.

My main focus right now is my Neon Lights series, where I'm currently releasing the first book, Pulse, weekly on AO3.

I have four book planned, and I'm in the process of editing the second one, titled Blackout.

It's urban fantasy, and meant to challenge the concept of good and evil, hero and villain - and the expectations of being a legacy in a world where power is everything.

Luka Lavin left the Collingwood Academy ten years ago, after saving it from a Soul Eater. In the eyes of the people, he was a hero; in the eyes of the Council, he was a danger. He never meant to return, but remaining in the periphery of the Academy was always going to get him in trouble, one way or another. When he's told students are dying and they need him to save them, he doesn't know how he can possibly refuse.

Alice Malik was never meant to stay at the Collingwood Academy. She had an entirely different life mapped out for her, one she was no longer sure she wanted. Despite her doubts, she was prepared to follow that path, at least until she was offered to apprentice with the legendary Luka Lavrin. She only knew him as a story, a hero from a decade ago, but of course she couldn't possibly refuse.

Read Pulse on AO3

---

I do have some other WIP's, but I fear they're years in the making - mostly more urban fantasy, and some fairy tale retellings.

Working title: A Murder of Crows A group of friends perform a ritual to gain power over life and death and it works - a little too well. But when you expected immortality, and instead got something far more horrifying, can you hold on to who you are, or are you destined to become a monster?

Working title: The Wolves Will Reign The Red Hoods and the Wolves were supposed to be at peace, but a betrayal left the Red Hoods nearly wiped out, and the Wolves in power. When Amara's grandmother dies, and she's sure a Wolf is to blame, she sets out to take revenge - and take back the power.

Working title: Wonderland Wonderland grants wishes - if you can win the game. Desperation brings Raine to play, but it turns out it's not as simple as winning or losing. Wonderland is a broken place, and traveling through it comes with its own challenges.

#writers on tumblr #writeblr #writeblr community #original story

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thegeminisage · 3 years

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my secret galaxy brain reading of spn s11 is better than yours

or: why season 11 is good actually. this is a long-ass meta, so it's going behind the cut

some disclaimers before we get going

absolutely all of this is accidental. nobody does this shit on purpose. this is ~my interpretation~ or whatever. i'm not actually trying to argue the writers meant to do this lol. what i'm saying is that this is the way to make season 11 make sense in your brain because it makes sense in mine and it's one of my FAVORITES. it could be one of your favorites too if you stop limiting yourself

there is heavy discussion of sexual violence in this meta so read safely etc also spoilers for all of s11 obviously

unless you watched the anime, i've seen more supernatural than you have, so i'm right >:)

for the uninitiated, the basic plot of season 11 is that eons and eons ago, before there was heaven or hell or earth or humans or angels, there was only god (chuck) and the darkness (amara). amara kept destroying what god made, so he and the archangels locked her away in a cage, which removing the mark of cain from dean's arm opened. amara escaped and dean was the first thing she saw, so she spends the season using some kind of thrall over him to make him feel drawn to her and unable to hurt her, and also looking for chuck so she can give him a little payback.

ALRIGHT HERE WE GO

season 11 & sexual violence

you don't need to look very far to find examples of sexualized violence and outright sexual violence on supernatural, but s11 is lousy with it. just to name a few examples:

amara's "thrall" on dean, which we will absolutely get into more later

crowley's jokes about altar boys and the tastes of catholic priests

ALLLLL the pedophile jokes made when crowley was raising baby amara

angels torturing cas and threatening to cut his genitals off, only to send in hannah (an angel who formerly had unrequited romantic/sexual feelings for him) to play good cop(/honeypot??) in hopes of making him talk

the return of lucifer, who possessed sam (spn has a history of equating possession and sexual violence) and is heavily implied to have raped sam in hell, and the MULTIPLE times he menaces sam throughout this season, including forcibly touching his soul

lucifer possessing castiel and using him to enact violence on the winchesters, his loved ones

i absolutely REFUSE to acknowledge the lucifer/crowley stuff but if you know you know

the episode with the kissing curse, using "love" as a means to deliver death

dean's possession in the soul eater episode

the "chitters" monsters involving mating, orgies, and forcible impregnation

you get the idea

i could write a whole essay on almost all of these but for this post we'll be sticking mostly to dean & amara

@marcusantonius pointed out while we were watching season 11 that what amara does to dean is basically speedrun his two major attachments - sam and castiel. she starts out as a baby, someone in need of protection, and quickly grows into an adult who attempts to romance/seduce him. the feelings dean has around amara aren't feelings FOR HER, they're feelings he has for SAM AND CAS that are being TRANSFERRED onto her through means of her power. (this is important for later.)

what amara does to dean is sexualized violence bordering on outright sexual assault. compelling him to feel drawn towards her and to protect her, frequently getting in his personal space and touching his face, and even kissing more than once when he is quite literally unable to resist (it's stated many times that he is unable to kill or even harm her, so he is completely helpless in the presence of someone who makes no secret of her intentions for him, sexual or otherwise).

dean says many times that what he feels for amara is not love or desire or attraction. he can't put a name to it at all - not once in the entire series is he able to properly define this thrall she has over him, which leaves us the audience a little confused (amara asking "what IS happening between us?" in 11.06 as a teenager making sexual advances on a grown man does give me a good laugh, because it was written SO WEIRDLY)... BUT we know that it is definitely sexual in nature, and not at all something dean wants to be happening.

this is addressed kind of strangely in 11.13. the villain of the week is a witch moonlighting as a hairdresser, who puts a kissing curse on her clients. the curse must be passed along like a hot potato - if you kiss someone else, it's passed along to them. if they kiss someone else, it's passed along to them. but eventually, a monster called a qareen will show up in the form of "your deepest desire" and kill you, and work its way backwards to the original curse-ee. in the episode, dean kisses the vic (i'll point out this was also technically done w/o her consent, though it was a very businesslike kiss) to put the curse on himself and protect her. the qareen takes the form of amara, and she gives Dean this little speech:

Qareen!Amara: You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except it's cloaked in shame. When it comes to this, you can’t help yourself, so why fight it? Just give in.

then, at the end of the episode, after dean reveals who the qareen was for him, we get this conversation between sam and dean:

Dean: You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest darkest desire? Sam: She isn't? Dean: No! She can’t be! Sam: Why not? Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I'm… Sam: Means you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? Dean: For starters, yeah. Sam: Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She's the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you…I'm not.

the "shame" part of both of these is really what stuck out to me - the word itself isn't in the second passage, but dean's vibes are absolutely filled with shame. to me, this always read as being shame about the sexual violence and about the complicity/weakness that "allowed" that violence to happen.

and as a reminder, sam is just a few episodes past the confrontation with his own rapist (he returns to the cage to speak with lucifer in 11.09 & 11.10, and canonically struggles with what happened there even after the confrontation ends). sam made a point earlier in this episode of making sure the victim of the curse knew it wasn't her fault her husband died, but the fault of the witch who cast the curse. sam is VERY emotionally intelligent, and i honestly believe that he was speaking as one survivor of sexual violence to another here. what he's telling dean is something victims often need to be reminded of: it's not your fault. you weren't complicit, or weak. you didn't have a choice. you don't deserve blame or judgment.

we've had bad guys make sexual threats at both dean and sam many times before this and a few more times after, but as far as i can recall, this is the only conversation in the entire series that even attempts to address the impact of that particular kind of violence on dean. it's short, and strangely written, but nonetheless: there it is.

season 11 & the dean in the closet

for the purposes of this post, i'm not going to go through the entire series and find examples to try and prove dean is bi and has feelings for cas. if you don't believe that then what are you doing here? we're skipping to the goods.

actually, i always got annoyed at people who read the fake-amara's speech in 11.13 (or any of the other times people spoke about dean's shame regarding amara) as being about dean's sexuality, because in my mind it was ABSOLUTELY about his being a victim of sexual violence, which was far more important to me, as it is discussed far less often.

BUT, knowing what we know now (that cas was always canonically in love with dean, and it's all but canon that dean really was bisexual), i'm willing to entertain another notion:

Sam: ...you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? Dean: For starters, yeah.

the "evil" bit never really sat right with me as part of the narrative of sexual violence, aside from touching on dean's general self-loathing, but it fits the narrative of being closeted MUCH better. dean, a self-hating homophobic bisexual, would probably use a similar word, if not something heavy as "evil," to describe the way he feels about other men. it's a malevolent feeling. (if you're like me and ascribe to the jackles headcanon that dean resorted to turning tricks to make food money when he was underage, we could also consider the extremely fucked up fact that almost every queer man dean's ever met is someone who hurt him.)

dean is ashamed of who and what he is, and the way he feels about cas. living like that, that's violence. he lives violently day in and day out with that feeling. (and amara knows it. it's worth nothing that she uses cas to communicate with dean MULTIPLE times in this season, both by carving messages on his body and psychically, through his own connection to dean - and when dean "betrays" her to rescue casifer, she's horrified at whatever she sees in his head.)

equating sexual violence to the violence of being closeted

but what's amazing about this weird badly-written little 11.13 conversation (and indeed, the season-long plotline of dean and his shame) is that we don't HAVE to assign it to the purposes of being about sexual violence OR about being closeted. it can be and IS both.

my favorite reading of this is that BEING IN THE CLOSET IS INHERENTLY A VIOLENT AND TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. many of the same feelings are involved: shame, guilt, self-loathing. sam's comforting words to dean - that he will not be blamed or judged - are equally applicable in both cases. dean is a victim of sexual violence, and he is also in the closet, and both of these experiences are traumatic ones, and they are intermingled with each other in a big way (again, if you're into dean-turned-tricks headcanon, they are intermingled INSEPERABLY - the sexual violence being one of the direct causes of dean not wanting to accept or address his own sexuality).

the bait-and-switch

the real galaxy brain moment of this whole thing begins at the end of 11.22 (an otherwise lackluster episode that played sam's lucifer trauma for laughs how dare they ugh god whatever that's off-topic but i HATE IT) when amara and chuck finally have the confrontation she's been fighting all season for. she is attacked by witches, demons, angels, and then stabbed by lucifer himself, before she's finally on her knees before chuck, and then we get this little exchange:

Chuck: I'm sorry. For this, for everything. Amara: An apology at last. What's sorry to me? I spent millions of years crammed into that cage alone and afraid...

maybe you already know where i'm going with this. a cage isn't so different from a closet when we're working with metaphors, right?

amara talks about her grievances with chuck many times throughout season 11 - that he was spoiled, that he created the earth to stroke his ego, that he couldn't handle her as she was. and once he finally makes his appearance he tells it his own way - that he had no choice but to lock amara away, that she couldn't stand the things and people he made, that he did it to protect people. but something about THIS conversation in particular - even though it's not written into the dialogue - gives me a particular kind of vibe.

there is something innately, unspeakably WRONG with amara. i don't mean unspeakable as in very bad, i mean unspeakable as in LITERALLY undefinable. it's just like dean being unable to put a name to the pull she has over him. no one talks directly at it or about it, they go in circles around it, but facts are facts: amara simply couldn't be allowed to exist as she was because there was just something innately wrong with her. and it's this conversation in particular, the first one they have together onscreen, that really slams that feeling home for me.

the entire time chuck and amara are talking, the camera repeatedly cuts to dean - he is so visibly upset that the first time i watched this, i was certain he was about to jump into the middle of things and put himself between the two of them. we're meant to believe that dean has trouble hearing this because he "cares" about amara, but i have a different take.

i think it's empathy. real, actual empathy - not the kind of feeling that amara had to force out.

stay with me here. eventually, after chuck tries to lock amara away again, she gets her second wind, attacks him, and leaves him for dead - and as he dies, the sun dies with him, and so too does all life on earth.

in the following episode, the finale, amara finds her way to a park, where she takes in god's creation, visibly upset as she realizes that his flowers die at her touch (again, hammering home the point that there is something innately wrong with her that means she cannot live in this world), and eventually speaks with an old lady feeding the birds.

Woman: Do you want to feed them? Amara: I shouldn't. Woman: I've been feeding these birds going on 20 years now. They're practically family. And I know that makes me sound like a crazy old bat, but...heck. My husband died a couple of years ago, and my son keeps slipping me these brochures for retirement communities - a.k.a. where they send old folks to die, but not to make a fuss about it. Amara: So you hate him. Woman: Well, a little bit. Sometimes. But you know family. Even when you hate them, you still love them.

this speech brings tears to amara's eyes. what's more, she spends this entire section with her hands in her lap. after a season of killing her way through humanity to get god's attention, she is afraid to touch these birds for fear of killing them. she feels empathy for them. she and dean are connected, after all - so as soon as he began to feel true, genuine empathy - so did she.

when dean shows up to kill amara (via a bomb made out of souls hidden in his chest), she immediately clocks his plan. she practically dares him to do it, and - he can't. he is, as always, helpless against her.

what dean does instead is talk to her. more importantly, he listens to her. when she says her brother sent dean here to execute her, he tells her chuck actually didn't want this - that it was actually his very last resort. he asks her if this, the death of everything, is what she wanted, and she tells him all she really wanted was payback. again, dean EMPATHIZES:

Dean: Yeah, that's revenge. It'll get you out of bed in the morning, and when you get it, it feels great... for about five minutes. I've been there. Me and Sam, we have had our fair share of fights—more than our share. But no matter how bad it got, we always made it right because we're family. I need him. He needs me. And when everything goes to crap, that's all you've got—family. Now you might be a—an all-powerful being...but I think you're human where it counts. You simply need your brother.

what's really neat about this section, and the scene before it where amara confronts her brother, is that they mark the first times dean felt any sort of genuine emotion for amara at all - one that she didn't force out of him or one that he felt for someone else that she just took for herself. dean genuinely EMPATHIZES with her - after everything she's done to him and his loved ones, and to the people on earth, dean sees the humanity in her. that's kind of his and sam's M.O., loving monsters into men - the number of non-human adversaries who eventually became allies because of the winchesters’ empathy or liking for them or even just their influence is staggering. cas, gabriel, meg, benny, crowley, rowena, metatron, to name a few off the top of my head - and now amara.

and then we get THIS:

Dean: You don't want to be alone. Not really. I mean, hell. Maybe that's why you wanted me. But deep down, you didn't really want me... 'cause I'm not him.

(emphasis mine)

and here's my galaxy brain take: dean empathizes with amara - TRULY empathizes with her - because they're both queer (or queer-coded).

I KNOW THIS SOUNDS NUTS BUT LISTEN. this weird creepy stalkery hetero "romance" was fake on both sides all along. dean and amara are the same. that unspeakable and innate wrongness lives in both of them. they're self-loathing and furious at god for his failures and callousness, outcasts in a world that isn't for them, a world that has HURT them simply on account of them being what they are. the violence done to amara was done to her BECAUSE of this unspeakable wrongness about her - her queerness, or her queer-codedness - and we already decided this was, for the purposes of this season, functionally the same violating and traumatic experience as sexual violence.

amara's been using dean to try and replace chuck this entire season. it's some weird comphet bullshit tied in with the fact that dean was the first part of chuck's creation she ever saw. it stands to reason then that she was trying to force dean to be with her and love her the way she wanted to force CHUCK to be with her. that's part of why she started life as a baby - as someone he'd protect as he did his own sibling.

so in some weird, warped, very roundabout way, amara was enacting on dean the violence that chuck enacted on her - making him feel the same shame and weakness that chuck made HER feel when he locked her away eons ago. if amara unknowingly replaced chuck with dean, then she also unknowingly took part of her revenge on him. the only way she knew how to love someone was to force them to do it, because the only ways she had ever been loved until now involved violence - until dean and his moment of genuine empathy.

consider this final speech:

Dean: Maybe I can kill you. Or maybe I can't. Maybe if I pull this trigger, we all live happily ever after, or maybe we die bloody, or maybe it doesn't matter, because maybe there's a different way. So I'm gonna ask you again. Put aside the rage. Put aside the hate. And you tell me...what do you want?

dean is the only person in BILLIONS of years to ask her this! one queer to another! and it turns out that and all she wanted - the ONLY thing she needed - was to be understood and accepted by her family. immediately after this, amara summons chuck to their park, and the two of them talk it out in what is genuinely a very moving scene. amara - perhaps because of her connection with dean, perhaps because she's finally admitted to herself that she does still love her brother - sees the beauty in the world now, and feels love for it, and she doesn't want to destroy it anymore.

and at the end, after she's made her peace with god, and the sun has been turned back on, amara says:

Amara: Dean, you gave me what I needed most. I want to do the same for you.

and what do we get at the end of this episode? mary winchester, risen from her grave. dean's family. and - SPOILERS FOR SEASON 12 - though at first mary rejects dean (and sam) as being the same children she remembers from 1983, after a long and rocky road, at the end of the season, they eventually come to a reconciliation where she sees them for who they truly are. it's never ABOUT being queer because this show uses the fucking hays code when it comes to dean's sexuality, but it's still about being queer!!

dean gave amara what she needed - acceptance from her family - and she gave him that back in turn. all it took, the entire time, was one SHRED of empathy from one queer to another. all dean had to do was recognize her - REALLY recognize her - not as a replacement for sam or cas but as who she really was. and he saw himself in her, and the empathy that followed was genuine because it was the most natural thing in the world. in the end neither dean nor amara needed the "romance" they thought they did/were forced to want. they never did. they only needed acceptance and understanding.

supernatural is always about family and the power of love, and this season is no exception.

other great parts of season 11

if you're still not convinced, season 11 is full of other things that make it amazing:

GOD'S RETURN. after SIX YEARS he's back, this is canon, we finally get to hear what he has to say. they did more with him in a handful of episodes in this season than all of season 15

also, something else returns after six years. i'll give you a hint: it glows hot in god's presence. it was last seen being dropped into a motel trash can.

and of course the big one: lucifer and sam. what great callbacks to seasons 4-6 when lucifer and what he did to sam in hell was actually scary and mattered a lot! lucifer returns to being scary in this and i can't get enough of it.

this is also inseparable from sam's arc involving his faith - he begins praying again, having visions again, and is GUTTED when those prayers and visions lead him back to the place of his worst trauma. he gets to MEET GOD this season. it's fucking insane

the inherent melodrama of castiel, someone loved and trusted by the winchesters, being possessed by someone who they hate and who has hurt them. you get all of the sam drama with him accidentally trusting lucifer with his soul and his brother's life, and all the dean drama where he watches the devil run around in his boyfriend. also, misha collins does an uncanny impression of mark pellegrino. it's actually really creepy

somehow, they managed to make metatron, a deeply hated villain by all, ACTUALLY LIKEABLE. for TWO whole episodes. it was NUTS

this season starts off rowena's long arc with lucifer and her lucifer trauma that eventually becomes the catalyst of her bonding so profoundly with sam <3 best friends forever <333

sam and dean bond with a pair of canonically gay hunters who DON'T DIE

billie is introduced in this season and she's super hot and cool and awesome

eileen is also introduced in this season. her arc mirrors sam's so well, it's SO good. i never though i'd care about sam and a girl who wasn't jess, but i care about them SO MUCH it makes me insane. if you don't love eileen you're wrong!

anyway, watch season 11. it's weird but it's really fucking good. THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

[spn masterpost]

#supernatural #dean winchester #amara #supernatural meta #destiel #in a roundabout way #i needed a 5th tracked tag lol #i stayed up ALL NIGHT writing this but im gonna be a smartie and schedule it to go up at noon when ppl are awake #liz watches spn #liz's meta #liz's spn stuff #liz makes stuff #long post #just in case the cut fails #this meta really is 3800 words long lol #as a bonus it was implied in late season 10 that amara is the older sibling #even though they retconned it and made them twins later #like amara and dean are both eldest sisters.......

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inthiswhisper · 2 years

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sam: [researching] how’s it going over there?

dean: same. and you, anything?

sam: yeah, i think so.

dean: yeah? on amara, lucifer, hand of god?

sam: no, no. it's a case. werewolves, looks like. they’re calling it an animal attack, but...

dean: all right, well, we make a call and we put somebody on it.

sam: yeah, but— [dean looks away, sam sighs] we'll get him back.

dean: how?

sam: i don't know, but we'll figure it out. meantime, we gotta get out of here. clear our heads. i mean, this is a case. let's do what we do, let's work it.

—

last episode, sam tried to keep dean’s spirits up about finding amara and saving cas. then, dean insisted they wrap up the soul eater case to find amara and get cas back. both instances felt like nothing too comment-worthy. now, sam zeros in on dean’s upset over losing cas and wanting him back, not even mentioning amara this time.

#a n y w a y #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #supernatural #spn liveblog #11x17

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arwenadreamer · 3 years

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A soul eater shows its victims the person they love dead. Dean saw dead Sam in the soul eaters nest, when two episodes ago he saw Amara as his deepest, darkest desire.

Sam: How messed up are our lives that you seeing a vision of dead me is actually kind of comforting?

Favourite quote per episode

11.16 Safe House

#sam winchester #dean winchester #sam and dean #favourite quote per episode #11.16 #safe house

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supernatural-reacts · 3 years

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Season 11 episode 16

- BOBBY AND RUFUS ARE IN THE RECAP WHICH I FEEL PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED BY

- it’s childhood fear time baby! monster under the bed ofc

- “my wife is flying back” she’s queer! That’s sucks it means she’s gonna die. Although, this episode is written by Robbie Thompson so there is hope

- “I’m supposed to be your frigging backup?” “yeah. if by backup you mean you do all the heavy lifting while I watch.” I MISS BOBBY AND RUFUS SO MUCH OMG

- “were you ever nice?” “1985. Worst year of my life.” I LOVE THEM

- being a bitchy Jew myself, I would die for Rufus

- “we can wrap this up quick, get back to hunting Amara. Get Cas back.” YES PLEASE I MISS CAS

- “you think Bobby and Rufus wasted any time arguing about this kinda crap?” *cuts to them arguing about the same exact thing* THIS IS A REALLY GOOD EPISODE

- “Bobby can I ask you something?” “As long as it’s not about why I was sleeping in my car earlier.” “Why were you sleeping in your car earlier?” AGSHAKL

- these cuts between Sam and Dean and Rufus and Bobby are so cool

- a soul eater?

- ooo sigil

- OH NO DEAN

- OH MY GOD DEAN SEEING BOBBY IM GOING TO CRY

- and the wives didn’t die! That is a happy gay couple with a kid who showed up on supernatural and didn’t die! Everyone say thank you Robbie Thompson

- they did not appreciate Bobby enough

- so did they both see each other in the nest? damn

- that was a cool concept

#dean winchester #supernatural #dean and sam #sam winchester #spn #supernatural thoughts #sam and dean #spn thoughts #castiel #destiel #spn season 11 #supernatural season 11

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shallowseeker · 8 months

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Gosh, Chuck really set up Amara to trust Dean and then lose hope, didn't he?

What a cosmic dick!

The truth is: Amara's love was an immature love, a love of childhood, and even a little like Harper Sayles. In her own way, she's struggling with the Idealization of Apple Pie and the Romanticized Notion of the White Picket Fence.

In season 8, when Dean was reeling from total 24/7-360-degree war and the uncomfortable grayness of real-world civilian life, he too became fixated on an unobtainable concept of love (and people) as something that will never let you down.

In season 15, we find Amara dressed in vibrant hues and exploring life. And it's lovely that Amara has gained so much wisdom in her time spent individuating.

She encourages Chuck to see meaning in his creation. She lectures Dean about how "now is always better than then." She laments the loss of the opportunity to get to know Jack.

However, she's not integrated in terms of how she conceptualizes love, and in particular, she speaks of Dean in always-or-never statements.

AMARA: Like I told you when we first met, you and I will always help each other.

On accepting the wholeness of life, we can turn to Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön, who wrote in her deeply insightful book When Things Fall Apart:

“We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

Amara is a long, long way from the disillusionment necessary to truly see another person as a complex individual. She's a long way from the mature disillusionment-and-choosing of real relationships.

In season 15, it's even more of a contrast than usual, as it's flanked by the disagreement-and-repair spousal dynamic that characterizes Dean-and-Cas. Dean became disillusioned with Cas as early as season 4, when Cas and Uriel attacked Anna and especially so in season 6 during the Angelic Civil War. Cas became disillusioned with Dean as early as Dean giving in to Michael in season 5.

///

Chuck eases Amara into thinking that her love connection is real, in exactly the way she had conceptualized it:

CHUCK: The Winchesters have gotten to you, huh? Figures-- you and Dean have that whole weird... thing. AMARA (an awed, wondering smile): That wasn't you? Writing? CHUCK: Ugh! Not that part. Gross. Amara gives another, privately pleased little smile.

Then, once the plan he knows is brewing springs into action, he in turn snaps his jaws shut on her. He'd been grooming her for hopelessness and slaughter all along. And so, he consumes her.

AMARA: No, but... but Dean can't hurt me. CHUCK: No, but he can lie to you. He could send you into the meat grinder with a wink and a smile.

He capitalizes on and then leverages her naivete to cannibalize her. He cuts off her development in order to use her as fuel. "She's in here somewhere," is so ominous. It calls to mind how Amara talked about the beings she devoured, not an egalitarian shared mind-space of equals.

CHUCK: Look, I get it. You wanted him to care about you, but humans... they'll break your heart every time.

Chuck thrives on hopelessness.

#chuck & amara #spn amara #amara is the hidden love #amor #the darkness #Angra Mainyu #spn gods who eat souls #amara + soul eater #cosmic hierachy #amara as apex predator #chuck shurley #spn chuck #spn god #spn the light #spn season 15

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verobatto · 4 years

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Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXIX

It was a love story from the very beginning.

I Want You Back (Part II)

(11x16b/11x17)

Hello there! Finally finishing the second part of this meta.

It will focus on the parallel between the entity from the 'Safe House' episode and Amara it’s suggesting. Afterwards we will talk about one of the episodes that were discussed more controversially among us Destiel shippers, I'm talking about 'Red Meat', and I will show you step by step that it is, indeed, a very Destiel one.

Thanks to @destielle for beta-ing this one! She's amazing. Thank you girl! 😘💝

Soul Eater

Let's talk about that haunting parallel I just mentioned.

If you check episode 11x16, there is this entity from that house that ate souls.

RUFUS: A Soul Eater? What the hell is that?

BOBBY: Undead creature that feeds on souls. Hence the name. They exist in a place between our world and… another. Soul Eater moves into a house, and once it does, it makes what the lore refers to as a ‘nest’.

RUFUS: A place that exists outside of time and space.

SAM:The nest looks and feels like whatever house the Soul Eater is in.

The creature created a fake house, like a reflection in the mirror. It’s a fake home in which the entity shows people the souls of the ones they love in different and terrible situations (dead) to keep them under it's dominium. From the moment the seal was broken, the creature attacked again.

SAM: Apparently, the nest messes with their victim's head, shows them things they love, parts of their soul in distress, it keeps the victim's soul vulnerable.

So we have a broken seal, a powerful creature eating souls, a fake reality to keep them dominated, right?

And Bobby saying that he could feel the evil in that dimension…

I think we have the perfect description of Amara here, Dean and Sam broke the sigil, Cain's Mark, and she was released, she eats souls, just like the Soul Eater, creating a fake happiness/reality to dominate the victims/Dean.

Again the writers are showing us that Amara is evil, her dominance over Dean is established through fear.

I think it’s vital to mention that between all the books Rufus and Bobby were reading, there was one with the title "Fallen Angel", it make us recall Castiel and Lucifer with the particularity that they're sharing vessels at that moment. Two fallen angels: one fell due to love and the other due to hate.

Another interesting visual narrative that acted as a foreshadowing, was the soul eater placing a hand on Dean's chest in the same way Rowena will place her hand on him in the last episode of the season where he’ll become a soul bomb.

And now, pay close attention to the following scene, because it’s connected to the next episode (Red Meat).

RUFUS: What'd you see, Bobby?

BOBBY: My boys. Both of 'em. Both of 'em dead. And I saw… well I don't know what the hell I saw.

And…

SAM: Hey, you said the Soul Eater made you see things. Plural. So… what else did you see?

DEAN: I saw you. Dead on the floor.

This was a foreshadowing of Sam laying dead on the floor (well he won’t die, but almost) in the next episode. But it’s A BLATANT MIRROR. BOBBY SEEING HIS SONS DEAD ON THE FLOOR. AND IT’S REFLECTING PURELY FAMILIAL LOVE. A father and his two children who are brothers.

FAMILY LOVE, there's no hint of ROMANTIC LOVE in here, no Wincest! Bobby was actively chosen to pose as the mirror. The writers easily could have used a couple with the husband seeing his wife laying dead on the floor, right? But it was BOBBY who saw his boys on the floor, just like Dean saw his brother. It’s about Family!

Sorry I'm a little bossy here, but I need you to understand this point before jumping to the next one.

Using Logic

Let's analyze episode 11x17 with logical facts…

The mentioning of Castiel at the beginning of the episode is there to remind us that Dean is feeling miserable because they couldn't rescue him yet. And he is not sleeping because of that. Sam is trying to comfort him by saying that they’ll get him back.

The episode introduced Corbin and Michelle, a newly-wed couple very much in love.

Corbin would do anything to protect Michelle (Dean mirror) and he is the one becoming a monster (werewolf), so he’s acting as our Castiel's mirror here.

Sam gets shot, and he has a very bad wound. We have Corbin trying to kill him, because he would do anything to save Michelle, even if that implies making a bad decision.

Now, we have Dean thinking his brother is dead. But keep in mind that WHEN HE ENTERS THE ROOM SAM IS ALREADY DEAD (in Dean’s eyes at leat). So DEAN DIDN'T SEE HIS BROTHER DIE. HE FOUND HIM DEAD, LAYING ON THE FLOOR. (First fact).

Then this… he asks Michelle to assist him in his try to contact Death… but … he also says this ..

Dean: Okay. After I do this, go get the doc and tell her to, um... Tell her to bring me back, if she can. If not... no hard feelings, okay?

He is not suicidal here, THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT TO EPISODE 13X05 WHEN HE WANTED TO DIE, NOT WANTING TO LIVE BECAUSE CAS WASN'T ANYMORE. Even knowing Sam was dead, Dean wanted to live. GIVING YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR BROTHER DOESN'T COUNT AS A SUICIDAL THOUGHT, BUT INSTEAD AS SOMETHING ANYONE WOULD DO FOR THEIR BROTHER, especially when that brother is your little brother you raised yourself like a father. (Second Fact).

Dean wants to be alive because he needs to rescue Cas.

Billie: That's what I thought. It's cute, though. You pretending you're trying to save Sam for the greater good, when we both know you're doing it for you. You can't lose him. But even if Sammy could win the title bout... the answer would still be “no.” The answer will always be “no.” Game's over, Dean. No more second chances. No more extra lives. Time to say bye-bye to Luigi, Mario.

This sums up perfectly how Dean feels about Sammy. He raised him, he always took care of him. He can't lose him because all his life revolved around Sam. This is not Wincest, this is solely FAMILY LOVE. Remember what we said about Bobby a little earlier, these were Bobby's feelings too.

I will put here an addition from Destielle, she talked about the well known toxic codependency, and i think is important too:

"Billie basically calls out the toxic codependency between Sam and Dean here. ‘You’re doing it for you’ she deadpans. It’s more about Dean fulfilling the task, or rather duty, John gave him so early on, that it’s part of Dean’s personality. An automatism. He doesn’t want Sam to live because it was Sam’s wish, but because Dean needs Sam to keep things the way they always have been as so not having to deal with himself."

Is interesting because John Winchester heritage to Dean was the GUILT and the FIRST BORN duty, so practically, he keeps reacting and acting like a soldier that needs to protect the little brother and the entire world, I talked so many times in My metas about this toxic heritage and about THE BIG PROTECTOR living inside Dean. Interesting comment my friend! Thank you!

Dean’s spirit [sadness and desperation in his eyes]: I'm asking you... I'm begging you, please. Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead.

DEAN WINCHESTER WILL ALWAYS GIVE HIS LIFE IN EXCHANGE FOR THE ONES HE LOVES BECAUSE HE IS DEAN WINCHESTER. NOT JUST FOR SAM, BUT FOR THE WORLD, AND CAS.

Billie: I'm not here to bargain with you, kid. I'm here to reap you. And the kicker is... Sam's not dead. [Dean looks stunned] But you are. Or will be, soon enough.

Now… let's go with Michelle and Dean's conversation… the third fact:

Dean: Michelle, this is gonna be very hard. But you will be okay. And, eventually... eventually you'll get back to normal.

Dean is talking from experience. Drawn from every time he lost a friend, a family member (including Sam) which he always affronted in the same way, by hunting, drinking heavily and stuffing bacon in his face. It always was hard at first but got better with time until he got back to normal. He's talking with determination because he lost a lot of beloved people. But … he hasn’t lost the love of his life yet… Michelle did…

Gif set credit @thejabberwock 👇

Michelle [sighing]: No, I won't. They said I could leave... [she sighs] an hour ago. But... where am I even supposed to go? After everything we survived together... [turning back to Dean] I watched the man I love die. There's no normal after that.

This is a rich piece of text over there. First of all, she's convincing Dean she won't be back to normal. Ever. She's the one talking with authority now, because she's talking from her experience of losing the love of her life… 'where am I even supposed to go?' SHE'S LOST, Just as lost as Dean will be for the first 5 episodes from season 13. 'After everything we survived together…' these words are carving deep into Dean's heart, because the man he loves is in danger in the very moment, and I know he's recalling everything they survived together. 'I watched the man I love die, there's no normal after that', Dean's face is priceless here, full of fear, he doesn't want to go through the same Michelle has and had to. He doesn't want to watch Cas die. And I want you to remember the first fact I pointed out, MICHELLE IS SAYING SHE WATCHED CORBIN DIE, not that she found him dead. Okay? So we are not talking about a reference to the death of Sam here. Dean didn't watch him die, he found him dead. And secondly, Dean knows Sam is okay by now, so why would he display a face full of pain and fear? Who's the one in real danger now, possessed by Lucifer? CASTIEL. DEAN DOESN'T WANT TO SEE CASTIEL DIE. HENCE THE TERRIFIED EXPRESSION.

AND THAT'S WHY IN THE NEXT EPISODE HE WILL FIGHT AGAINST RATIO, AGAINST WHAT’S THE LOGICAL THING TO DO, JUST BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE THE MAN HE LOVES DIE. Sorry for the yelling. But I needed to make things clear.

To Conclude:

The Soul Eater in episode 11x16 is a blatant mirror of Amara. Another way to show us her dominance over Dean is a forced and dark one.

Episode 11x17 must be analyzed with logic. The clues are in the details and related to the previous episode in which Bobby saw Sam and Dean dead. It was purely about FAMILIAL LOVE and it must not be mistaken for something else because that just would be a twisted interpretation.

Dean giving his life in exchange for the one of EVERYONE shouldn't be mistaken for suicidal tendencies, too.

The fact that he wanted to go on with his life EVEN THOUGH BEING CONVINCED SAM IS DEAD is an important difference to how Dean is behaving in 13x05.

We have the foreshadowing for Castiel's death and Mourning!Dean and a prelude to 11x18 where we’ll have a very desperate Dean trying to save his angel.

Hope you liked this one! See you in the next meta!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From s11, her you have the links.

Vol. LXII, XLIII, XLIV, LXV, LXVI, LXVII, LXVIII

Buenos Aires July 7th 2020 5:36 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 11 meta #vol XLIX

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