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festive · 1 year

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Always n Forever ꕤ

a story in which, Morax has always had his eyes on you, one of Guizhong’s priestess — after a long battle and the succession of defending Guili plains, she allows him to have his way with you as a reward.

wc: 5.6k (sorry!)

contents+warnings: fem!reader, heavy breeding, mating presses, marking, overstimulation, cum eating, female!reader, monsterfucking, anal, vaginal penetration, use of aphrodisiacs, dubcon(?), size kink, slight spoilers(?), blowjobs, reincarnation. (This kinda follows the what if theory that Ningguang is the reincarnation of Guizhong.) HALF DRAGON ZHONGLI!

a/n: this has been sitting in my docs for about a month, posting it for @thicksimpx 🫶🏼 anyways, thank you to my beta readers: @manjiroscum @bubble4u & @gabzlovesu 💗

Men, women, children, and even adepti gather in the plains of Guili for this night of repose — gathering around the trees that were birthed from the earth while they sing songs of victory underneath the golden leaves as the gods sit high above.

“The Guili assembly has grown quite significantly,” Guizhong muses. There’s a smile on her face as she fondly watches the humans rejoice in victory below. Some of them were born here, while others sought refuge after losing their homes in the war — Guizhong loved them all the same. “And even though this victory is temporary, I wish all nights could be like this.”

And although Guizhong is talking, her companion, Morax, does not say anything. Instead, he takes a sip of his wine from his dish as he watches intently below — his gaze focused on the form of a woman, carefully stringing along her guzheng as children crowd around her.

From the corner of her eye, Guizhong catches a glimpse of Morax hunched over, his chin resting in his palms as he focuses on something other than her.

“Is there something on your mind? I’ve never seen you so focused,” Guizhong teases, taking a sip of her wine. “Or perhaps someone?”

Guizhong follows his gaze, and amongst the crowd of faces, she’s able to spot you. That’s when she pieces two and two together.

It doesn’t take a god to see the attraction that Morax has to you. It hasn’t gone unnoticed by Guizhong either, the way his eyes always search for you whenever he steps foot in her temple.

“Morax,” Guizhong sings as she rocks back and forth in her seat, the contents of her drink spilling from the dish. There’s an all-knowing look on her face.

Morax merely grunts, looking at her with a blank expression.

“Have you perhaps taken an interest in one of my maidens,”

Morax doesn’t say anything. He’d rather not tell her how he’s been watching you for ages and how something about your softness moved even his war-hardened self, your kind deeds towards others never going unnoticed by the lord of geo. But Guizhong is not stupid — nothing gets past her crimson gaze.

Even Cloud Retainer muses beside the lord of dust. She shifts her attention towards the small adepti in her arms, the chubby horned child bouncing in glee.

“I can tell by the glint in your eyes, my old friend,”

If Morax was the brawns behind Liyue, then it was without a doubt that Guizhong was the brains. He looks at her — his eyebrows furrowing.

“Am I really that easy to read,” Morax asks, earning a response from his peer.

“I’ve known you for centuries, Morax,”

Both gods watch from afar as you and the rest of Guizhong’s maidens pass out food to the others, the sound of laughter carrying through the air.

“You know, Morax. Humans’ lives are feeble. What’s a year to us is almost an eternity to humans.”

There’s a pregnant pause, Morax’s attention shifting back to your form in the distance.

“I am a god of war, not a god of love. I know nothing about the affairs of the heart,”

Guizhong sighs, thinking of ways to get the two of you together until it dawns on her. “I’ll have my daughters prepare for the night tomorrow. You will meet her in my shrine.”

Morax turns towards the ash-haired woman as he quirks a brow. She merely smiles in response. “Think of this as a reward, a temporary arrangement for the success of defending our lands.”

There’s a curtain of silence that befalls the room, not a single word uttered as you’re placed in front of an expensive vanity lined with costly jewels and desirable ores. You fidget in your seat, and the wooden stool beneath you creaks at the movement.

“My lady, must I really do this?” You ask with a slight edge to your tone, your eyes wandering nervously from your reflection in the mirror to her.

An uneasy feeling bubbles in your stomach as you wait for Guizhong to answer — and if she could notice your change in demeanor, she did a great job at pretending she didn’t. But then again, she’s a god, and you’re a human. She could never understand the anxiety you’re feeling even if you were to voice your concerns. The divine being would never feel even an ounce of your uncertainty. Thus one of the pros of being a god, you think.

Guizhong drags the brush along your eyelid, perfectly lining your eyes as she carries the crimson shade of red across your skin. The after result gives you a charming but soft look.

“Relax, my child, everything will be alright,” Guizhong’s voice is soft. She dips the brush she was using into a sticky mixture before dipping it into the bowl that contains the red substance. Then, bringing it to your mouth, she traces it along your lips.

If your goddess said it’s going to be alright, then you suppose it’s best to trust her. After all, you owe her your life, considering she took you in after the providence was destroyed — gave you a status, fed you, and raised you like you were her own.

When Guizhong pulls away, you steal glances in the mirror, admiring her handiwork from every angle. She laughs when she catches you. “We’re not quite done yet,”

She walks away, and you can hear her rumbling with something, whatever it was, clanked and rattled. When she returned, she stood behind you — draping an expensive-looking necklace around your neck, the weight of it nearly causing your shoulders to slump.

But it was beautiful, a pure gold chain with noctilous jade and cor lapis decorating it, and even in the candle-lit room — those gems glimmered in the light.

“Wow,”

Guizhong hums, “hold still,” she holds another expensive piece of jewelry in her hands, this time a gold crested ornament.

Weaving the ornament in your hair, Guizhong adjusts it to her liking — the decoration resting proudly on your head.

“And for the finishing touches, take these,”

The goddess smiles, tying a pouch around your wrist — you turn your head. “What’s this?”

“A fragrance pouch, it contains the petals of freshly bloomed flowers, and drenched in the essence that secretes from mist flower corollas,”

Sniffing your wrist to confirm, the aroma is intense and overwhelming. Although it’s pleasant, it’s almost enough to make you gag.

“And this?” You question, holding a clear pouch in your palm — the contents of it being a thick concoction of some sort.

“A salve,” Guizhong giggles, “consists of slime extractions, herbs, and water, don’t worry Morax will know how to use it,”

You nod, deciding to not pry further on what she meant by that.

“And before you go, drink this,”

Guizhong pushes a stone cup into your hands that holds a red liquid — the substance sloshing around the rim as she gestures for you to drink it.

You don’t question it, putting your utmost faith in your goddess; there’s a bitter taste that lingers on your tongue after you swallow down the drink — you assume it’s some medicine.

“Your beauty rivals even the divine,” Guizhong says, watching as you spin in the mirror, her hands ghosting over your waist.

You’re slightly embarrassed. The garments she picked out looked expensive, exotic even — were these really tailored just for you? A lowly priestess. The colors Guizhong hand-picked for you were gorgeous, complimenting your skin beautifully. Although you had wished the clothing wasn’t so revealing, the only thing covering your more sacred areas were the little undergarments that barely hid anything.

“May I ask you something,” Guizhong places her hands on your shoulders, her touch soft against your skin.

“What is it, my lady,”

“Tell me, what do you think of Morax,”

You think for a bit, remembering the few instances you’ve shared with said man, “I think he’s nice,”

“Nice?” Guizhong laughs. It’s gentle and soft.

“He compliments my singing and praises my ability to play my guzheng,” You say, recalling the times he’s sat with you among the rocks listening to you play. “And, he tells me stories,” you hadn’t even realized that you were smiling thinking of your time together.

“I see,”

Guizhong smiles. It’s gentle and caring. She places a hand on the small of your back before leading you out of your sleeping chambers — escorting you past the central area of the shrine, down to the lower compartments that were used for temporarily harboring guests.

“My dear, I pray you never change,”

You’re confused about what she means, but you don’t dwell on it — your goddess speaks typically in riddles and rhymes, never giving you a clear answer even when you ask.

You shift your attention, your sleeves dragging across the flooring have you huffing and puffing, an amused expression dawning on Guizhong’s face.

The room she had you placed in was magnificent, even prettier than your own — the bed was more significant, and the fabrics that rested upon it varied from exotic-looking silks to other materials you don’t even recognize.

Even the ground beneath you was soft; looking down, you notice the intrinsic designs of the rug under you — you wonder what nation this was imported from.

There’s a vanity across the room, it’s enormous — with flowers placed neatly in a vase, and there’s a thin wave of smoke that dances through the air, radiating from the incense that rested next to the vase alongside a few candles.

There’s a familiar scent in the air, and you can’t quite put your finger on it, but before you can figure it out, there’s a loud clicking noise — turning around, you see that your goddess is gone, the door shut tightly behind her.

It’s almost unsettling how quiet it is. Only the sound of the incense burning keeps you company. You sit on the bed anxiously as you fiddle your thumbs in anticipation while waiting for the guest of honor to arrive.

There’s a tingling sensation in your lower regions, and you rub your thighs together to help relieve the feeling. Still, to no avail — your body feels like it’s heating up. So, finally, you pull the sleeves down so they’re slightly hanging off your shoulders.

You hadn’t even realized that the man you were waiting for had already arrived, his tail dragging behind him as he stood in the doorway. His golden eyes scanned your body — sizing you up with a carnal desire.

“M—morax,” You stutter in embarrassment as you straighten yourself out, rubbing down any creases of your robe.

You’ve never really seen this much of the lord of geo. But, of course, serving his companion’s court instead didn’t give you much time, especially considering your status. it wasn’t rare for you to see his face. Still, every time you did, it was fleeting, leaving hardly enough time to remember his beauty — but here, now, you’re able to admire his features.

He’s handsome, you think, the lighting accentuating his looks. His piercing eyes glowed a dim gold, and even his hair was beautiful, long, and smooth brown locks that transitioned to a lighter color nearing the ends with a set of horns protruding through the top of his head that curved inward.

You’re not quite sure where to look, feeling like a pervert with how hard you’re staring. Morax is clad in nothing but a white garb tied around his waist, revealing his well-sculpted body, the scars he’s received from battles — and the markings that came with being the Geo Archon.

The more you stare at his arms, the more flustered you become — brown and gold scales, with markings that decorate the bulging muscles that resided underneath and resting at his shoulders.

You allow your eyes to roam lower, staring at the golden geo sigil that rested on his lower abdomen — right below his stomach, wedged between the patches of scales that resided on either side.

You hadn’t even realized that you’d been staring for so long if it wasn’t for the deep hum that left Morax’s chest.

There’s a hand on Morax’s face as he admires the choice of clothing Guizhong’s picked out for you on this occasion. You’re clad in little to nothing. The flimsy, transparent robe did nothing to cover the white undergarments underneath.

He doesn’t say a word when he stalks towards you, nor when he places a hand upon your body — trailing his limbs lower until they land on the outline of your robe, his touch is rough as he takes the thin material between his claws, before ripping it to sheds, leaving the remains scattered across the bed as he strips you down to your undergarments.

Morax grabs at your chin, forcing you to look at him, and when you stare back with your gentle, doe-like eyes, The lord of geo finds himself with the sudden urge to ruin you, to break down the pristine priestess that Guizhong had made you and rebranding you as his own.

Golden eyes stare at you with such intensity that you can’t help but feel nervous, he hasn’t said anything while he is staring into your face, and it’s beginning to make you feel self-conscious, but as soon as he pulls his hands away, a wave of relief washes over you as a soft sigh falls from your lips.

And for a moment, you feel a temporary relief as the cool air fans against your warm body.

“On your back,” The authority in Morax’s tone left no room for rebuttal. You do as you’re told and lay against the bed, propped up on some pillows.

The mattress creaks as Morax slots himself between your thighs — his long reptilian-like tongue tracing along your folds, coating them in his saliva while he teases your slit.

You shiver, the coolness against your cunt sending shocks of pleasure down your spine. You gasp as soon as you feel him dip his slimy appendage inside.

“Morax,” you moan, his tongue delving deeper inside you — rubbing against your walls deliciously. Morax hums, and you can feel the vibrations in your core.

The longer he spends between your legs, the more your body quivers and writhes underneath him, not sure where to grab — your hands land on his horns. Morax pauses for a minute, and you can feel him flinch under your touch before he resumes.

You’re curious, giving the base of his horns a squeeze to elicit another reaction. You rest your palms against the base before guiding them to the tips in a stroking manner — this time, he groans, grinding his face deeper into your cunt as both his arms wrap underneath you, forcing you closer to him as he savors your taste.

And savors, he does. Morax thinks you taste divine, better than any wine Liyue has to offer, and your moans only drive him further to continue drinking up everything you have to offer as his tail swishes side to side, hitting the ground with a thump.

Morax places his thumbs upon your womb, tracing the flesh with his sharp claws — an outline of a geo sigil forming underneath his touch, unlike his own, it’s dull, but that doesn’t stop him from rubbing over it, basking in how your skin feels soft against his own before he squeezes down into the marking causing you to whimper.

There’s a foreign sensation in your lower stomach that has your mind growing fuzzy while specks of white litter your sight — the feeling only getting worse, it’s becoming harder to focus, and the hold you have on his horns loosens.

He knows you’re close, he can tell, bringing a finger to your aching clit — he’s careful of his claws, and slowly, he rubs circles into your swollen bundle of nerves.

“M—Morax,” You cry as you close your eyes, coating his face with your slick as you cum — but he doesn’t let up, not when your cunt is producing more and more slick, some of which spills from his mouth. His tongue is still deep inside you as he laps at your core, and you can feel the tip of his appendage twisting along your walls.

It’s almost embarrassing how loud and lewd his slurping noises are, flustering you even more as the sounds increase in volume.

It’s not until he’s made you cum twice more does he pull away, a mixture of your essence and his saliva dripping from his tongue.

There’s a huge bulge between his legs, the white cloth he had wrapped around him begging to slide off his waist until finally, he discards it, revealing his cock in all its glory.

Morax’s cock was huge, and you stared at it in an odd fascination — the veins on his shaft glowing as they pulsed while the head leaked a golden essence.

I don’t think that’s going to fit, you think, slightly terrified at the idea of that monster penetrating you even with all the slick between your thighs — there’s no way.

The weight of the bed shifts drastically as Morax climbs on top of you, the mattress dipping underneath the combined weight — his body completely dwarfing your own. You’ve never felt this small a day in your life until now. He places a large hand above your head to steady himself, preventing him from crushing you with his overbearing mass.

You can feel the tip of Morax’s cock prod against you. He rubs it along your wet folds — collecting as much slickness as possible to saturate his shaft for an easy push.

As soon as Morax has decided he’s ready, the fat, mushroom tip of his cock disappears between your folds — stretching your poor hole as he forces more of himself inside.

He grunts, “relax,”

Easier said than done, you think, the stretch burns instead uncomfortably, and you’re glad he at least tried to prep you for what's to come.

“My goddess,” You choke, bracing yourself.

Morax halts, his hips coming to a still — there’s a dangerous glint in his eyes as he stares down at your face, “The only god right now is me,” He sneers, the tips of his fangs peeking through his lips like a feral animal.

There’s something exciting about the way Morax looks at you that has the heat rising to your cheeks, igniting something inside you that you didn’t realize was there. “Yes, my god,” you correct yourself, locking eyes with the man above you. For a brief second, he can see the hint of exhilaration flickering in your orbs.

Your submissiveness pleases Morax, causing his cock to stir at the idea of you allowing him to use you as he sees fit — breeding you every day, every hour for the rest of your mortal life span.

“Good girl,” Morax praises, groaning as he finally bottoms out — it’s a tight fit, but it feels as if you were made for him. He’s almost envious of Guizhong for having found you first.

Morax hunches over, the hand above your hand gripping the sheets, and you can hear the faint sounds of them being torn. You wonder if Guizhong will scold him when she finds out.

Morax can barely contain himself as he lets you adjust to his size, it’s taking everything inside him not to aggressively slam into you — conquering your body and claiming it as his own, but he waits. Remembering the conversation Guizhong had with him before.

Do not break her, or else I will break you.

You place your hands on Morax’s biceps, allowing them to wander over the space of his chest. There’s a smile on your face as you look at him.

“I’m ready,”

Morax’s gaze holds a certain softness to it, golden orbs staring at you in affection. He nods.

Burying his face into the crook of your neck, Morax’s pace starts off slow, but his thrusts are deep — the tip of his cock hitting further with each movement as he litters kisses upon your skin that have moans escaping past your lips.

Morax thinks the noises you’re making are cute, determined to hear more — he places a hand upon your chest before sneaking it under the white fabric that concealed them. Carefully he pinches and tweaks with the hardening bud.

He moves away, grabbing at the top of your garment before tearing it off, leaving your chest exposed to the cool air — and although the sudden drop in temperature does nothing to you, your body feels like it’s burning up.

Morax watches in fascination as your chest bounces with each thrust of hips, encouraging him to go faster — the wet sound of skin slapping against skin rings throughout the room.

Morax pushes your legs to your chest, ramming into you with better precision for him to go deeper — to explore more of you.

Wrapping your arms around Morax’s broad back, holding as much as you can as his heavy cock drags along your walls, it’s getting harder to focus on anything other than the way he feels inside you — mainly when his tip grazes against your cervix, the fullness you feel is satisfying.

“More— more,” You whine. It comes out shaky, and who is Morax to deny his favorite mortal the pleasure she’s receiving from him, and only him.

Morax’s thrust becomes more fevered as he brings you closer to the edge, your walls spasming around him as you cum with a cry. His cock twitches and pulsates as he spills his seed inside you — the geo sigil on you finally coming to life and glowing a vibrant gold as he fills your womb.

And even though he just came, he’s still not done, his cock still rock-hard as he continues slamming into you, robbing you of another orgasm.

He’s determined to fill you up with all he has to offer. Even with the mixture of your juices overflowing from your hole and seeping through the sheets below, he’s not finished.

It isn’t until he’s pumped his fourth load into you does he pull away, leaving you a panting mess as thick substances of white spill from your cunt.

It isn’t enough, Morax thinks, even as you lay there, body convulsing in pleasure — he wants more. He wants all you have to offer. He flips you over so that you’re lying on your stomach, he moves your body with ease, repositioning you however he pleases, and it’s not like you’re in any state to protest.

He raises your ass, spreading your plush cheeks with his hands giving him a nice view of your drooling cunt that still leaked with cum, and your other — more exclusive hole.

Morax brings his face closer, tracing your folds with his tongue. You shudder in his embrace and feel him tease your spent hole again. Then, scooping out a mix of cum, the man brings it to your asshole, spitting it out and watching as it delves down the curve of your ass.

You screech, feeling the sudden intrusion in your ass. Morax’s lips pressed against your hole as his tongue dives deeper inside you — loosening up as much as possible for what’s to come next.

But before he continues, he’s reminded of the salve Guizhong had given you that lay discarded on the edge of the bed. You feel him shift above you as he reaches over your body — his arms grabbing at the clear pouch.

There’s a ripping noise that rings in your ears as Morax empties the contents of the pouch into the crack of your ass — you cringe, the thick, slimy mixture feeling cold upon your skin as it travels down the between the crevice of your cheeks, a generous amount coating even your hole.

Your grip on the sheets beneath you tighten, scrunching the silk fabric under your palms — your breathing becomes heavy as you feel the tip of Morax’s cock nudge against your ass as he mounts you.

He spreads your cheeks, guiding his length to your tighter hole before he pushes in — stretch burns at first as his cock forces its way inside, and thanks to the salve, it’s not unbearable.

“Morax,” You cry weakly as you feel him push himself in, completely sheathing himself in your warmth, his heavy balls resting against you.

There’s snot dripping down your nose, and you’re glad he can’t see your face at the moment — you’re sure you look terrible.

“M—move, please,”

Morax is gentler this time, gritting his teeth as he thrusts into you. The hold he has on your hips is less than bruising.

He nearly doubles over, feeling your hole squeeze around him.

“F—fuck,” You cry at the fullness, his cock dragging incredibly slow along your insides — you slam your hips back against his. “Harder, please,”

Morax raises a brow, and here he thought you were but an innocent maiden — being deflowered by a monster. It’s amusing, to say the least.

Morax’s balls slap against your ass with pap noise as he picks up his speed — your moans increase in volume as he builds momentum.

“You feel so good,” You whine, specks of white clouding your vision as your mind becomes hazy. Your orgasm washes over you like a wave, and your body feels like it’s becoming weaker as you fall into the mattress.

Morax wraps his arms around you, supporting your body as he continues fucking you — chasing his own end.

There’s a familiar warmth spreading through your body as he cums, thick globs of white dripping from your ass.

You’re tired, nearly passing out on the pillows until Morax flips you over again. This time you’re on your back as he hovers over your body, knees folded underneath him.

“Do you think we’re done?” He asks, his cock still hard. He aligns it with your mouth, pressing the tip into the softness of your lips. “Open,”

There’s a pause before you do as you’re told, your eyes scanning up and down his length that’s still fully hard. Is this the will of the gods?

You part your lips around his cock, his weight feeling heavy in your mouth.

Slowly, you run your tongue across his shaft — tracing every vein that roams across his cock with your muscle.

You can feel the veins throb underneath your tongue. Morax places a hand on the back of your head, forcing you to take more of him.

Morax looks down at you, sweat dripping from his body as he watches you bob your head up and down his cock, “Just like that, he praises,”

Your jaw feels like it’s on fire as it aches, and you’re not quite sure how much longer you can take this, but you’re determined to please your god.

Your prayers have been answered, and it’s not long before you feel him throb inside your mouth as his cum spurts down your throat — he pulls away.

“Swallow,”

You obey, opening your mouth to show that you’ve swallowed all of him, leaving nothing left in your mouth, and you can still taste him on your tongue — salty but not disgusting.

Morax places a palm on your cheek, stroking it gently, “you’ve done so well, but the night is still young. We won’t stop until my seed seeps from every orifice you own,”

And knowing him, it was a promise. By the end of the night, your body will only know Morax. He’s determined to mold your walls in the shape of his cock, to ruin you for anyone else, no matter how many times you reincarnate — you’ll always yearn for him.

It was no surprise that Morax had taken you as a lover when he came to Guizhong asking for your hand in marriage — only shocking a few of her priestesses at the sudden intrusion. Their gasps and whispers could be heard amongst themselves.

And, of course, Guizhong was more than happy to comply with his wishes, wedding you off without a second thought.

But alas, that moment of bliss wasn’t destined to last forever, especially in the era of war.

It wasn’t long before Morax had lost Guizhong in the aftermath, returning to dust in the plains of Guili. And although losing her hurt, it was a heavier loss when your mortality had finally claimed you, reminding him that human life is feeble.

It saddened him to no end that you weren’t around to see the progress of Liyue after Mt. Aoyang. However, Morax wanted nothing more than to walk with you upon the grounds now called the harbor.

Centuries have passed by now, and Morax is no more than a distant memory, recorded in history alongside most of his conquests for all of time to keep. And even though his previous incarnations are no more, Zhongli still harbors the feelings of each and every life, treasuring them fondly — their memories continue to shine like gold.

And as he sits in the harbor at his favorite restaurant, there’s not a day where he doesn’t think back to you, and the time he shared with you — even if they felt like mere minutes to him.

“and what happened to Morax after the death of his lover,” Paimon asks, both the traveler and her staring at him expectantly as they awaited his answer.

Zhongli clears his throat, “After the heavy loss of his lover, he grew fearful of being alone after being taught by the human woman how to love and be loved. He took on many lovers over the years after, and yet none of them could fill the void left in his chest.”

“Did he love them,” Paimon places a finger on her chin as she ponders out loud.

“Of course he did. He loved all of them for as long as time had allowed it,” Zhongli muses, although there’s a hint of melancholy in his tone.

Aether gives him an unapologetic look as he thinks back to his twin and how he was separated from her before entering Teyvat.

“Wow, Morax must’ve really been popular among the—“Before Paimon can finish her sentence, Aether quickly covers the smaller being's mouth with his palm. “Paimon, there’s a time and place for everything, but now is not the time,” He sighs, feeling the flying girl protest against him as she angrily flails her tiny limbs.

Zhongli smiles fondly, unfazed by Paimon’s annoyance. The food in front of them had long gone cold as he shared the story of Morax’s greatest treasure.

Paimon flails in Aether’s hold before stopping, her attention focused on the gasps and gossiping going on around her from the other customers in the restaurant.

“What’s the Tianquan doing walking so freely in the harbor,” One mumbled. They all look in awe as she walks past the establishment in broad daylight without any millelith guards behind her.

“Lady Ningguang,” You whine, following after her, your clipboard shaking in your grasp as you pant. For someone wearing heels and a heavy dress, you’re surprised she can walk so fast.

At the sound of a familiar voice, Zhongli’s ears perk up as he turns his attention towards you — his eyes widening before returning to their average size. His sudden silence shocks Aether and Paimon. Aether and both of them don’t say anything, opting to follow Zhongli’s gaze before they land on you.

Ningguang ignores you, continuing on her merry way toward the docks hoping to see the freshest stock of fish that’s arrived.

“But what about Qingce Village?!” You huff loud enough for Ningguang to hear you, although she doesn’t stop.

“I’ll have the yuheng deal with it. Keqing’s always looking for something to do,” Ningguang says as she waves you off, continuing on her way.

“And what about all your paperwork?”

“Ganyu can handle it,” Ningguang answers, all too calmly, for a woman who controls the fate of Liyue.

You groan in frustration throwing your clipboard on the ground. So bothersome, you grumble.

When Aether and Paimon shift their attention back to Zhongli, they both jump, realizing his absence.

“Where’d he go?” Paimon says, looking everywhere, from underneath his seat to underneath the table.

“Over there,” Aether points, and sure enough, there he was, striking up a conversation with you.

“Do they know each other,” Paimon asks, placing a finger on her chin. Aether shrugs in response, “not quite sure, but something tells me she might be an old friend of his,”

“Excuse me, you seem to have dropped something,” There’s a tall man before you, he’s handsome, and you can’t help but feel like you’ve seen him before.

“Do I know you?” You ask in confusion, the man in front of you staring intently — although it wasn’t you, he was focused on. There’s a glint of disdain in his eyes as he looks upon the light-colored anemo vision that dangles from your waist.

“Ah, my apologies, my name is Zhongli,” Zhongli smiles, handing you back your clipboard.

“You know,” You start, eyeing him up and down before taking your belongings. “I feel like I’ve met you before,”

“Hm, is that so?”

“Yeah, something about you feels familiar,”

“Although, I don’t recall meeting you before,” Zhongli lies, “I’d like to get the chance to,”

“O—oh,” There’s a heat rising to your face, and your heart pounds against your chest — the man’s charm flustering you. “I— I think I’d like that too,”

There’s a smile on Zhongli’s face as he places a hand on your back, leading you through the harbor — you don’t resist, allowing him to guide you wherever listening to him talk mindlessly about the weather.

Aether and Paimon look at each other in confusion, the blow shaking his head.

“Did we just get ditched,” Paimon asks, tilting her head to the side as she rubs her chin.

Aether nods, “and with the bill, too,” he sighs, picking up the piece of paper before reading it — his face pales, and golden eyes widen in horror as he reads aloud the total.

#morax smut #morax x you #genshin x reader #genshin impact smut #genshin morax #zhongli x reader #Zhongli smut #Zhongli x reader smut #morax x y/n #zhongli x you #zhongli x y/n #genshin impact x reader smut #genshin x reader smut

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upon-a-starry-night · 7 months

Text

Number Neighbors Pt.11

Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Natasha Masterlist Series Masterlist

Word Count: 982

Summary: When you catch sight of the newest trend going around you know you’re all but bound to at least try it, it was harmless anyway. What could possibly stem from something so little?

Note: This story does not follow the MCU timeline exactly

---

When you got home you immediately called your mom to tell her about Leon. You explained your whole day and how you felt a new surge in energy and determination just from one date- could you even call it a date? It felt like one.

Your mother was happy for you but in true mother fashion, she urged you to be cautious and not jump into things too quickly. You assured her you would be careful but you couldn’t help but wish she was a little more excited for you.

After all, it was so hard for you to make friends let alone find someone interested in you, this guy was like a dream come true.

He wasn’t Captain America-level hot but he made up for it with personality

In hopes of receiving a warmer response- and not because you missed her or anything- you broke your silent streak and texted Nat the good news.

Nat didn’t know what to do when you texted her that you wished you could hear her voice. Part of her was scared at just how eager she was to give in to your request, how keen she was to hear your voice, how close she’d been to hitting that call button that haunted her day in and day out.

But you would know.

You knew what The Black Widow sounded like, you’d watched her interviews, you would recognize her voice and that would complicate things.

Would you be mad at her for not telling you?

Would you be weirded out?

Would you give out her number?

She didn’t think you were the kind of person who would do that but it was in her nature to be cautious of everyone and everything. She knew it was probably hurting you that she wasn’t comfortable enough to talk to you but she was scared and that scared her.

She was The Black Widow for fucks sake, she didn’t get scared, especially not of…well you.

At least that’s what she was trying to convince herself.

Because maybe deep down she knew that she’d already let you in more than she’d meant to.

Deep down she knew she cared about you, and caring was a weakness.

So she spent her Sunday in the training room working off her frustration and she went on her mission and let it consume her mind. She tried to ignore the concerned looks Steve would give her, and the curious ones Clint would throw her way. It was hard being around people who knew you so well.

Both men had noticed the change in her, from someone who wasn’t very interested in social media to suddenly texting every day. They had tried to coax it out of her but she wasn’t ready to share you with anyone yet, let alone admit that she had grown attached to someone. She was sure both men would scold her for trusting someone over text but she was smart and she did her research on you.

She knew the school you graduated from, the business where you worked, the name of your first pet. She was thorough and although the rest of The Avengers never underestimated her, it seemed like sometimes they forgot how prepared she was in every situation.

Every situation but this one it seemed. Emotions were not her forte.

So she let you go silent because she didn’t know what else to do, a part of her was worried as time went on that you weren’t going to text her ever again but come Saturday evening her phone pinged with a notification and her heart skipped a beat at the familiar ice cream emoji that popped up.

She refused to acknowledge just how fast she opened her phone and clicked on the message.

However, her anticipation and relief were quickly replaced by a pit in her stomach as she read and re-read your text.

Y/n🍦:

I met a guy!

Nat recognized the feeling in her chest as the same one that she’d felt when she’d met Peter and Wanda. There was an initial protectiveness over their naivety and kindness.

She felt something akin to that now and she didn’t know why.

Perhaps it was because you were a young woman living alone in New York and it was her job to protect people like you. But a deeper part of her recognized that wasn’t the case.

She was worried about you, she had missed you, and while she had been brooding about if you’d ever talk to her again you’d been out meeting new people.

She knew she didn’t have a right to be upset though. It was her who’d made you upset. She never texted first. She tried to be reserved.

And you texted her with so much excitement.

She couldn’t bring herself to ruin your joy- or your silent forgiveness of her actions.

Y/n🍦:

Nat🔪:

Like an actual guy or?

Y/n🍦:

Har-Har

I talk to real people you know

Nat🔪:

Yes, the tennis ball and basketball

with googly eyes.

They are very real Y/n, I know.

Y/n🍦:

Someone had extra sassy juice today

Nat🔪:

Well I own the company

I have to taste-test the products

Y/n🍦:

Well for your information

This volley-ball with eyes

is cute and wears a leather jacket

Nat🔪:

Hold on- Why do I hear faint music playing

in the background?

Oh wait, my limbs are moving on their own.

I feel a dance coming on

Y/n🍦:

You ass!

He’s very real!

His name is Leon.

Nat🔪:

Leon backward is Noel

You met a Christmas elf.

Congratulations.

Tell Santa I said hi!

Y/n🍦:

OkAy but really-

Can I tell you about him?

Pleeeease?

Nat🔪:

You can tell me anything, Y/n.

Anytime.

You had no idea just how true that statement was. Even if Nat didn’t care about the topic she would listen to you for hours if it made you happy.

Pt.12

She's back! and sassier than ever! But how will Y/n and Nat interact with this third person entering the story?~ Starry

~Taglist~

@marvelwomen-simp @cd-4848 @wandanatlov3r @rebeltombraider @ctrlamira @fxckmiup @aliherreraaa @natsxwife @la-douler-ne-finite-jamais @romanoffsgal @moistblobfish @natashaswife4125 @elenimoris @how-to-disappearrr @screechcat @toouncreativeforausername @ordelixx

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that-ari-blogger · 25 days

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"Eda, do you have kids?" (Eda's Requiem)

The Owl House is a series about identity and the freedom to express oneself the way they wish. It explores the ways in which that affects relationships with others and oneself. Self-image, mental health, love, all fall under this bracket. This is partly why I would refer to The Owl House as a queer story rather than just a story with a queer protagonist. It engages with the concept in a nuanced way that I think is interesting.

The Owl House is also about family. The theme was present at the beginning, but it was very much a background thought. However, season two examined this idea in a ton more detail, through the Golden Guard, through Amity, and even through the side characters.

But the single best part of The Owl House is its ability to weave themes together. Family and identity are parts of each other. A family is a group of people with a shared identity, and a persons sense of self is usually defined by their experiences with their family. That is why found family is a part of family, it’s not about blood, it’s about connection.

This duality is directly the cause of my two favourite episodes in the show, Reaching Out, and Eda’s Requiem, the latter of which deals with a crisis of identity and a juxtaposition of past and future.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (The Owl House)

How does Eda define herself?

That is a question that grows more complicated over time. She is the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles, which is a neat thing have while it remains true. However, she stops being that at the end of season one, and still clings to the moniker, why?

“How did you become the Owl Lady with your stage fright?”

It’s a persona, an act that she puts on to impress everyone, including herself. It is an identity that she wears like a mask, and who would know more about wearing masks than Raine Whispers.

I’m going to take a brief moment to talk about my favourite little detail in the series, and I give all credit to @Idlescreee’s video, Names in The Owl House: Breakdown and Analysis, which pointed this out to me.

I am one of those people for whom silence makes my skin crawl, and so I like to put on music or white noise while I work. One of my go to sounds is that of rain, I am literally listening to it as I write this post.

So Raine Whispers is a quiet name about the beauty of nature and the quietness of a natural sound. Perfect for a bard, right?

Well, not exactly. Context gives meaning more than anything else, and Raine’s context is the Boiling Isles, in which the rain is acid, making a hissing sound as it destroys everything in its path. Raine Whispers is a name that refers to the fury of nature. It is quaint at first glance but could destroy you if given the chance. A fitting name for a spy.

In any case, the purpose of Raine in this episode is to provide a contrast to Eda, they are someone from their past who has changed a lot since the two last met. Raine is unconditionally the wisest character in the series, and their ability to read people is unrivalled. So, they can see through any illusion she throws up.

They are also the first named non-binary character in the series, and it is a neat piece of storytelling that a character who’s sense of identity involves not being confined by binary gender would be against a villain who runs on categorising people. It’s not dwelled on, which is a strength of the show’s normalisation, but it’s cool, none the less.

The mirroring of Eda means that the audience can notice the two’s similarities more easily. Most importantly, Eda has also changed, although not as much as she thinks.

I am going to bring back the concept of a lowest common denominator style of character analysis. Essentially, a character can be boiled down to a single concept that cannot be changed for the character to stay the same person. The character can switch up their entire identity, allegiance, or even body in some cases, but it is this attribute that keeps them recognisable.

For example, Hunter is brave. He switches up characterisation almost entirely over the series, going from the Golden Guard to the most precious boi over the course of two seasons, but he keeps the fact that he is, at all times, bone numbingly terrified, and still able to persevere. Hunter is brave.

Eda, meanwhile, is complicated. She is an agent of chaos, but she brings stability to the lives of everyone she is close to. She is against authority, but that is an allegiance rather than a descriptor. So, with the full understanding that this is inaccurate, I will say that Eda is free.

Again, this is inaccurate, and oversimplifying, but it’s the best I can come up with. Eda is unabashedly herself, and the primary conflict of this episode is trying to work out who that is. So… Eda is Eda? That’s unhelpful but hold onto it for a moment.

The episode itself follows an opportunity to live the good old life with an old friend, and Eda jumps on it. She is growing distant from Luz and King, and she doesn’t quite understand why this upsets her as much as it does. She has become a parent without even realising it.

So, she takes the chance to go with Raine, chasing the high of connection and creating the persona of Mama Eda, although that is where the analysis gets weird.

Maternal and paternal behaviours are different across cultures, but they are usually not specifically necessarily reliant on gender. Yes, they are linked by association (it’s part of the words), but it’s not intrinsic.

Case and point, in the culture that I read this story from, Eda is absolutely terrible at being maternal. So she doesn’t try to be, instead, she fills a ton of paternal roles in the lives of those around her. But it’s also inaccurate to read her as entirely paternal. Instead, she fits both roles, leaning further into one, but not entirely.

Essentially, Eda parents in her own way, and struggles when trying to live up to “the right method” of doing things. Eda is Eda. She excels at doing her own thing. Trying to define her as one archetype is reductive and misses the nuance of her character.

What I think is really interesting, is that Eda realises she has become a parent when the story essentially threatens to take her family away, and she is surprised by how she feels.

While I have my opinions on the fake out, it is an effective way to see what the fear of loss does to a person, or rather, the fear of unimportance.

Being a parent is about guiding your children, but its also about letting go. Eventually, every bird will eventually leave the nest. However, that doesn’t mean the relationship is over. People still need guidance, even as adults.

Eda is willing to throw her life away as a last-ditch effort to help her family without having to say goodbye. She doesn’t think they need her anymore, so she is willing to go out with a bang. But she is wrong.

Eda clings to the instrument, even as it kills her. She thinks that love means dying for the people she cares about, but that's not entirely true. You have to live for them as well. I wonder who else in the series could learn that lesson.

A rhapsody is a musical piece associated with strong, enthusiastic emotions. A requiem is about remembrance. Raine’s song is about hope, and the joy of a future yet to be. Eda’s is about a past well lived, and the memory of that love. If you put the two together, you get a song that can bring down a mountain.

“Eda, do you have kids?” “Uh, they're not mine-mine. Well, it doesn't matter. They both have real families to return to.” “I don't know what you're running from, but a great witch once told me... something about punching fears in the face? What I'm trying to say is don't give up so easily. They probably need you more than you realize. We can find another way to stop Belos together.”

Remember what I said about Raine being wise? This is that.

Raine teaches Eda that she is still needed. She lets Eda know that her purpose isn’t gone, its just different. You are different people all throughout your life, you just need to remember what you have seen, and change with the times.

Why is the line read of this girl realising she's back in the conformatorium so heartbreaking?

I also want to point out the fear of insignificance from a found family perspective. Eda thinks that her relationship with Luz is less valuable than their blood relations, but I don’t really believe that. Eda has taught Luz magic and sheltered her from a literal dictator. She has raised King from childhood. I think those are pretty important things for a family member to do, whether through direct relation or not.

In the resolution of this episode, King changes his name to be an official part of Eda’s family, which, sure, that’s how things work in the Boiling Isles.

“Surprise, Eda! Now we're connected for life, and there's nothing you can do about it!”

She’s a parent now, and that relationship is as important to king as finding out who his biological father is. In other words, Eda still has a purpose, and the fact this surprises her means that she has a lot to learn, but she is better at it than she thinks.

One last thing I want to talk about before I go is that Raine is a unique rebel. Usually, in stories about fighting an authoritarian regime, the cost of rebellion comes up. This is the conceit of Andor, but also part of Wicked, and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. In these stories, the idea that one person must use the tools of their enemy. Not as bad as their opponents by any stretch of the imagination, but sacrificing their own morality in a small way for future generations.

Raine doesn’t do that. Raine is fighting for a better world, and at all times, they will sacrifice their plans to save the individual. Raine has plans in motion that can counteract any single “failure”, but crucially, preserving the world they want to protect is never a failure to them.

So, in summary, found family is just as important as blood family. More important in some cases. Eda has built her identity around being a parent without realising that is what she has been doing, this episode is her confronting that. Raine is cool. Defining people is difficult and takes away from who they are as people. The Owl House is a good show.

A Kikimora is a creature associated with sleep paralysis. So her ability to paralyse people is a neat thing, as well as that "night night" line.

Final Thoughts

This season has a string of episodes that are determined to break me, but I will stay strong. Through The Looking Glass Ruins, Hunting Palismen, and now this. But I’m fine, I’ve got this.

Eda’s Requiem is one of my two favourite episodes in the series. I can’t gush enough about the music, the pacing, the purpose seeking. This is so compelling, and it really works as a piece of storytelling.

The episode does have one flaw, in my opinion, and to me, this is an example of how one weird piece of direction can mess with my suspension of disbelief. The extended syllable whenever anyone says “legally” in this episode is so… off putting. It’s like King is expecting to be cut off, and it’s asking for Eda to misunderstand him. It’s such a small detail, but the episode is almost perfect otherwise, and this sticks out to me like a sore thumb.

The episode is still phenomenal though, and so to balance out my criticism, here’s a small detail I really liked. When Eda punches the guard, his head spins around 360 degrees. First up, the casual worldbuilding that this guy can do that but also the fact that the outfit doesn’t react that much to it means that it has been made especially to fit his anatomy. That’s a cool detail.

Anyway, next week I’ll be looking at Knock, Knock, Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door, which is a Hooty episode. Something fun, and entertaining. I’m sure nothing plot relevant will happen then, right? Right?

Stick around if you want to see my analysis of that chaos.

Previous - Next

#rants #literary analysis #literature analysis #what's so special about...?#character analysis #the owl house #toh #toh eda #toh raine #toh raeda #raine whispers #eda clawthorne #lgbtq #nonbinary

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adamsrcnan · 18 days

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okay i'll bite, here's my jeremy knox speculations !!!

it's nothing super outrageous in my opinion, as fun and interesting as that would be, but alas lets dig in.

with regards to the police, his step grandfather is a congressman which means his step father probably has political ties too. this could mean they have ties to the police force perhaps involved in funding or something?? hence why jeremy would be recognised by them bc he gets forced to go to these occasions to paint a perfect family picture and maybe they're full of cops?? and maybe that's just not something he wants to be associated with lmao. cannot blame him now can we?

rhemann tells jean he can ask jeremy to leave the vicinity if he wants to press charges and call the cops i don't think this is because jeremy could get in trouble or anything bc i don't think rhemann would risk that. i think it's just because him being there might have sway or might lead to more gossip among the force that jean would wanna avoid. and if rhemann knows about whatever this weird avoiding police thing is i'm not sure it would be something so horrible??

in terms of his past. personally i don't agree jeremy was aggressive as a teen. i read him talking about his high school team as more of a "they played that way. i didn't vibe with it. i wanted to make sure my college team wasn't the same" i mean it's basically what he says he doesn't imply anything else but again the guy is closed off as HECK so god knows. but i don't think jeremy has an aggressive tendency. i feel like, given how the foxes have their entire lives pried into, if jeremy had such a reputation in the past (being in a class 1 team and captain of it no less) it would be known. and jean would know bc of kevin's obsession. like that would be a huge scandal.

i don't think he's done anything crazy like murder or manslaughter or has any assault charge. although that screenshot i posted a couple days ago is very Very sus, i think it might stem from how his family makes him feel about himself. because again i don't think he'd be able to keep any of that hidden.

UNLESS it's been all swept under the rug thanks to the political ties from the step family, and maybe that's why they dislike him so much. but again i think it's all a bit far fetched bc i don't think jeremy would be able to be so well adjusted after something like that, even after attending therapy.

which brings me to my next point, which is where he mentioned his mother finding the therapist for him and his family as he says "us" when talking about it which means they all see this therapist and jean mentions jeremy does not seem bothered to be exposed for having to go to therapy. i think if he was in therapy bc he did something really terrible he wouldn't want it known. especially if it's meant to be swept under the rug. i think this is in relation to the mysterious brother and the possibility of losing them to suicide. as he becomes very serious when jean says he promised he wouldn't kill himself saying it's nothing to joke about. also his concern for jean's wellbeing after ravens start dropping like flies maybe bc he knows how the grief feels.

thought that could also be a far fetched speculation because jeremy says the fall banquet broke their family in half. it's obvious his step family and his older brother and younger sister are not on his side, his mother sounds questionable too. so maybe that just leaves his other brother and his father and again maybe it's just a case of them being supportive of jeremy's sexuality.

there's also a brief mention of jeremy's dad being stationed in europe - some kind of military man?? since his mother re-married there's definitely something there too. maybe jeremy still keeps in touch with his father and it's not appreciated by the rest of the family? idk this one's a bit of a stretch but i feel like it might crop up again. what with jeremy not wanting to be addressed as "knox" as well - is that his father's name or his step father's name??? why does he not like it??

moving on to the scandal at the fall banquet i think this has to do with jeremy getting outed for being gay. lucas before cutting himself off at the beach says "now that you're.." implying they didn't know before so maybe jeremy was keeping it under wraps but got involved with someone from another team (???) at the banquet and got caught. his step grandfather and step father, and brother are probably very conservative and of course did not agree with jeremy's "lifestyle" and i think this had consequences on the whole family as it probably got out and "tarnished" their image. jeremy was probably asked to give up exy so as not to get involved with all "that" and he obviously refused. punishment for that probably meant his sister not caring for his games anymore as he wouldn't compromise for her, him getting put on a strict allowance and his mother's bookkeeper having to keep up with his expenses bc he's only given a certain amount of money. maybe a way for them to take back control over his life?? it also could explain why he has to stay at home during the school year so they can keep an eye on him perhaps??? also him getting dismissed from the dinner table bc of his hair as well idk sounds like his family are probs homophobic. also kind of a stretch but mayyyybeee the reason jeremy feels so bad is because he got the person he was involved with into trouble so he feels like a terrible person. but again there's really no alluding to that or implication i'm basically just taking a wild guess. but i feel like it would make some sort of sense

TLDR; i think jeremy's big "scandal" was that he's gay and his step family are just not accepting so they make his life difficult on purpose and he struggles to stand up to them about it

#this is so rambly #most of it was written while i was bored at work lol #but anywayssss feel free to disagree or discuss or ignore HAH #i just felt like i needed to get out my current thoughts about this #jeremy knox #the sunshine court #tsc #the sunshine court spoilers #tsc spoilers #all for the game #aftg

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philcoulsonismyhero · 6 months

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A thing I've been thinking about a lot as I've been obsessively re-listening to the Rivers of London books on a loop and putting colour coded bookmarks into my paperbacks (in short, being Extremely Autistic about the series) is just how interesting it would be to explore what it would be like to be an autistic wizard in that 'verse.

Like, take vestigia. It's a whole extra category of sensory impressions on top of everything else that you're picking up on, and you only get more sensitive to it the longer you train for. Peter wonders at one point if Nightingale isn't just straight up listening to the magic of the city in order to find out about cases, and even if he isn't doing that he's still got to be picking up on a Huge amount of sense impressions from the magic around him. Would an autistic practitioner be even more sensitive to vestigia? Just how much of a sensory overload trigger would it be, given that it's not a true smell/sound/whatever? Do really skilled practitioners like Nightingale ever get overloaded by just how much they can sense? Would an autistic wizard have to train themselves to shut out their sense of vestigia so they didn't get overwhelmed?

And then there's how you learn magic in the first place, which is a lot of repetition, doing the same thing over and over again until you produce an effect, and then continuing to repeat it until the effect becomes consistent. And you build spells by learning more and more formae, memorising them in the process. Which sounds to me like Such an autism-friendly way of learning to do anything, I fucking love repetition and memorising huge amounts of information.

Also, it's pointed out a bunch of times that Nightingale has almost scary levels of focus. In Broken Homes he spends ages watching CCTV footage, and then a full half hour just staring at the dog batteries at Skygarden. And it's pretty obvious that his level of obsessive focus is what's made him such a powerful wizard, since he's willing to put in the hours of practice, so autistic obsessiveness would be useful too.

(Sidenote, but I'm not sure if I actually think Nightingale is a character I'd read as autistic. He's definitely got a bunch of traits in the right direction, like the single-minded focus, the scary levels of concentration, the things he's very particular about and the way he can miss Peter's sarcasm sometimes, but in his case I think it's more just his personality and training and age, plus all the trauma. But I do think it would be a fun possibility/what-if to explore.)

And when it just comes down to it, I don't think I've ever encountered a magic system that appeals more to the specific way that my brain works than the RoL one, it seems like it would be So fun to learn. Even, tbh especially, the Latin and all the other studying that's also involved. So it does rather entertain me that I've gotten really autistic over a book series that has such an autism-friendly magic system, it feels Good and Correct.

Although. Ben Aaronovitch. My guy. Give me a list of all the formae and how they work, I am Begging you. I've never wanted an in-universe textbook tie-in book as much as I do for this series and Eventually I'm going to get my hands on the TTRPG book and obsess over every little detail of how they've interpreted the magic for that.

#rivers of london #it's Such a good magic system and it scratches my brain in just the right way #also i think these books might have convinced me to pick up latin again #i did five years of it in school and i'm a bit rusty #but suddenly i really want to get back into it #but yes i've been bouncing off of various type of sensory overload for a month #and it's really got me thinking about how vestigia would interact with that #so here are some Thoughts #personal stuff #wizard nonsense tag #autism stuff #actually autistic

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c-schroed · 1 year

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Podcasts I Adore - Re: Dracula or This Year, Our Friend Jonathan Has a Podcast!

"I had for dinner, or rather supper, a chicken done up some way with red pepper, which was very good but thirsty. (Memorandum: Get recipe for Mina.)"

I wanted to join "Dracula Daily" ever since I heard of it. To me, this is a stroke of genius; it's just the perfect approach to this book. I mean, not only is Bram Stoker's horror classic an epistolary novel with precise dates given for every journal entry or letter written by one of its protagonists, it also spans quite an ideal amount of time, i.e. roughly half a year. Long enogh to give it a feeling of something interesting and important slowly unraveling, short enough to not feel like too much of a commitment.

So yeah, I really wanted to join "Dracula Daily". Especially because I wanted to read the novel in English for years already (so far I've only read its German translation, because that's my native language). But, alas, I do not find the time so easily to add a book to my to do list, so I ended up not joining this lovely book club last year, fearing I'd miss out on most of the entries sooner or later.

Enter "Regarding Dracula". Right after seeing it for the very first time I knew this will be perfect for me. I already have a habit of listening to audio drama on my daily commute, and preferably in the form of fictional podcasts. So quite literally, @re-dracula had me at hello.

And gosh, they did not disappoint. Although I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed to find out that the format is more that of a classical audio drama, with voice actors speaking every line of their respective character. Originally, I was hoping for a more podcast-like approach, meaning that each actor speaks all of the text of a journal entry or letter, period. As if Jonathan would make a podcast instead of notes in his journal. I simply like it when audio fiction uses the possibilities of podcasts, and "Dracula" felt like something that could profit from this way of storytelling, too. So yes, I admit it: I was a bit disappointed. But not for long.

After hearing just a few sentences of Karim Kronfli as Dracula, I immediately understood the decision to breathe life into each character this way. I mean, I love Ben Galpin's work as Jonathan, but Dracula really, really profits from Kronfli's nonchalant but still breathtakingly powerful and confident take on this charakter.

And Mr. Kromfli is not the only one who makes a redefiningly marvellous job here. So far, all the voice actors go far out of their way to make me fall in love with each and every one of them: Ben Galpin's Jonathan is heartbreakingly relatable, Isabel Adomakoh Young's Mina is capable and charming beyond measure, and Beth Eyre's Lucy is just gorgeous. Yes. I'm in love.

In addition to all that talent of its cast, "Re: Dracula" also has a neat and absolutely on point score and sound design. And, just like the basic idea of "Dracula Daily", it really gives you a feeling of how time passes between the journal entries and letters. Haven't heard anything of Jonathen for a while? One does start to worry a bit. Lucy answering to Mina just two days after the Mina's letter? Wow, that was quick, I guess (not sure how quickly the postal service worked back then, though). Even if one has read "Dracula" again and again, I am sure this form of presentation can grant new insights!

So, if you, like me, are a more eager listener than reader, or if you happen to like close-to-perfection audio drama, then please give this a shot! I bet you, like me, will soon be finding yourself eagerly, yearningly awaiting the next bit of news from your good friend Jonathan, who hopefully soon returns from that terrible business trip of his. 9 out of 10 points.

#re: dracula #dracula daily #dracula daily deluxe #audio fiction #podcast #podcast review #audiobook #horror #classic #dracula #bram stoker #karim kronfli #isabel adomakoh young #beth eyre #i'm hooked #i'm so very darn hooked #schroed's thoughts

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bloodsbane · 2 years

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one thing ive noticed watching blind/live reactions to SU, particularly when we start learning more about Rose (and then Pink) in the latter half of the series, is this idea that Rose never really suffered consequences for any of the bad things she did. and yeah i suppose if youre going through the show for the first time - especially if you're not watching as it airs, so absorbing a lot of information in a way shorter time without processing it alongside other fans - it's easy to come to that interpretation of things. the show even brings it up, this idea that Rose's choice to have Steven was so she wouldn't have to face the consequences of all her past choices

personally, i truly don't think that's the case. but it made me start thinking about something in a new way, sparked by Rose's tape to Steven. she says, "We can't both exist. I'm going to become half of you. And I need you to know that every moment that you love being yourself, that's me! Loving you and loving being you!"

i take this sentiment to heart. in a way, yes, i do think Rose wanted to escape who she was, but again, that's a discussion for another time. what i want to focus on is the idea that this means Rose - in whatever way you'd prefer to interpret it - is WITH Steven throughout the entirety of his life, and the thus the events of the show. and if she can feel Steven's love for himself, for others, for existing just as himself... that means she also feels his sadness, anger, frustration, despair.

...this is difficult ground to tread without making it sound like anything resembling 'rose/pink = steven', although i hope the fact that the show itself handily refutes this is enough to undercut such a reading. what i mean to say is, in a way, Steven dealing with everything in the show is also Rose dealing with it. if we generously accept the idea that her 'spirit' or what have you lives with Steven, if not as Steven, and that she to an extent does experience what he does, then it kind of adds a new layer to the way you watch the show. a really interesting one!

because i think one of the most difficult things to consider with SU, especially once you get through it the first time, is the idea or feeling that Rose's story just... stops. and there's so much leftover that needs to be resolved. i mean, hell, that's the entire point of the show to an extent. Steven dealing with what she leaves behind. but i think there's something nice in the idea that Steven does not only inherit powers or thousand-year-old problems from his mother - he also inherits her love of freedom and life, of family and friends, and a heart that wants to find solutions to problems in a way that doesn't hurt anyone else.

i guess think of it in this way: if Steven is able to see his mother's memories, to feel what she felt in those moments, who is to say that Rose, in whatever way she continues to exist (even if only as a concept), does not also feel what Steven does?

i'll tell you, this has been an interesting way to re-experience the show. i think it adds a lot to the bitter-sweetness of Rose's relationship to Steven. i thinks she loved him so much, even if it was only the idea of him and what he represented to her. and i kind of love to think that, even if it is only some metaphysical concept of Rose that now rests forever inside her gem, dormant but for the power and life she's bequeathed to her son, Rose recognizes the trials that Steven is going through and aches for him. that she would hold him, if only she could.

#banebabbles #fuckin uh.#su meta #steven universe #i need yall to be cool w me on this one i stg im not saying rose is like. still Alive #it's the Vibe. the Feeling. the Concept #rose is gone but like the heart of her is not #crying bc this especially makes storm in the room like. A Lot #shakes my fist at the sugar woman for making it so delightfully ambiguous how much of that ep was steven talking to himself #since there are elements in rose's room eps that hint at the idea of the room's autonomy(???) being a reflection of rose #or SOMETHING #IDK #IT'S 2022 HERE'S SOME SU META JUST TAKE IT

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philosophika · 7 months

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Nine People You Want To Get To Know Better

Hi everyone, I'm back from an unplanned semi-hiatus (turns out moving countries can really do a number on you) and am looking forward to interacting again. On that note, thank you very much to my new mutual, @lordfenric-writes for tagging me! If you don't already know Fenric (can I call you Fenric?), go check out their Content Links Post for access to their 2023 NaNoWriMo project and more! Soft tagging: @tate-lin @lucianinsanity @songsofsomnia @moonscribbler @words-after-midnight @blind-the-winds @sarah-sandwich @mydeadpony @inkovert @sender-paulson @athenswrites @wordsacrossemptypages, @winterandwords and anyone else who'd like to participate! If you want me to remove you from the tags, just send me a message and I'll get right on it <3

Current Book I'm Reading: OK, so the first thing you need to know about me is that I'm a fully institutionalized academic, and although I've (THANKFULLY) left that world behind, I. CAN'T FOR. THE. LIFE. OF. ME. stop reading like an academic. I haven't been able to read fiction in over a year. The only genre outside of non-fiction that I still seem to be able to connect with is horror. And not like ghosts in your attic horror. Obscure, weird-as-fuck horror. Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman & Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova horror (which are both excellent books, by the way). But that wasn't the question, was it? The question was: what am I reading now. Well, (oh god) I've been digging into The Last Man Takes LSD: Foucault and the End of Revolution by Mitchell Dean & Daniel Zamora, which sounds a whole lot more trippy than it actually is. Mainly, I'm interested because the authors point out that Foucault's late philosophy, his so-called 'ethical turn' towards an 'aesthetics of existence', was inspired by a trip he took to California (and the upper reaches of the universe). Since I wrote my MA dissertation on this exact topic (the ethical turn, not the LSD), I thought it might come in handy for future articles...

Last Song I Listened To: Bastille & Hans Zimmer's new cover of Bastille's Pompeii, Pompeii MMXXIII (recommended by a friend). Before that, I was listening to a 'British Folk/Weird Folk/Horror Folk' playlist on Spotify which was pretty interesting... Actually, it reminded me of being a child in the English countryside, stuffing my face with berries by the side of the road and then going to the new-age shop in the village to listen to whale-song CDs, touch magic gemstones, and smell incense sticks. Very hippie.

Currently Watching: The Servant on Apple TV (is the baby real or not!? It's driving me crazy); Foundation on Apple TV (and I swear it's not because Jared Harris is in it or Lee Pace wears chainmail crop-tops. I swear!); and... The News? Does the news count? I watch a lot of 'the news' now. Actually, I can't stop watching... It's been quite sad and terrible lately...

Current Fic I'm Reading: Sorry, I don't read fics! I know it's blasphemy. Believe me, no one is more disgusted with me than I am. But yeah, there you go... Never been my thing, really. Nothing against it.

Next On My Watch List: the upcoming Napoleon movie featuring Joaquin Phoenix; Killers of the Flower Moon; anything A23 produces anytime; Priscilla by Sofia Coppola (which is A23 also so, you know, naturally); and I'll probably re-watch The Green Knight for Christmas (it is a Christmas movie, after all).

Current Obsession: My WIP, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, which you can check out on my writeblr side-blog (@thesorcerersapprentice) has been my main obsession for the past -what?- four years? More or less? I really feel like until I've written this thing, gotten it out of me, I won't be able to write anything else. It just won't leave me alone. I can't think around it; I always end up coming back. It's a story I fundamentally, deep down in my bones, need to write. So it's my obsession: today, tomorrow, and always, right up until the day it's done.

#tag games #tagging games #open tag #Nine People You Want To Get To Know Better #writeblr community

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wonderlightdaydreams · 10 months

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AlterReality: A Coining Essay

This world has always felt like the wrong genre to me. Considering how many stories are based in this world, that sounds absurd. After all, we have free will and therefore the right to choose our own genre, right? One would think so; however, this is often not the case. There can be a myriad of reasons for this, but one large one is the hold that hegemony has on modern society. Despite our diverse world, this hegemony paints a coat of bland sameness over the world, creating a shared reality. This gives us, as beings living inside of hegemony, an interesting problem with a wide myriad of answers: how do we re-enchant our lives, considering the enchantment in question does not exist? My answer is that we alter our own realities, living in fantasy worlds of our own design and giving ourselves the adventure that we deserve.

When hearing the claims that were made in the intro, one would not be wrong to think of the alterhuman community. As a being who is part of it, I hold nothing but reverence for this amazing and wonderful group of diverse beings. They helped me and myself discover ourselves, helped us overcome great shame, and allowed us to evolve into the wonderfully diverse beings we are today. However, many members of this community live the lives of not their true selves but the form in which they exist bodily. While I do not fully blame them, as it is mostly out of necessity, I could not help but wonder if there is another option. Dragons don't pay taxes, after all.

Enter my term, alter reality." To clearly define it, it is having your current reality re-enchanted by means of living in a personal reality (which will be defined later in the essay) that is not the one shared by most individuals, whether voluntary or otherwise. This is about individuals who currently live in a personal reality, not those who don't live there due to their past lives or for any other reason. Let me reiterate that this can be achieved through voluntary means and is a term that can be used by most anyone. You do not have to be alterhuman to be AlterReality, although those two can often intermingle with one another.

Another term that often overlaps with AlterReality is immersive daydreaming (ID). As an immersive daydreamer myself, I can say that one can be an ID and an AlterReality, but there are differences. For one, AlterReality requires the individual to live inside their reality, not watch it like a movie. As such, those who experience AlterReality have their true selves present in their reality, whom they live through. These factors often do not exist for immersive daydreamers.

Earlier, I brought up the idea of a personal reality. This is defined as any reality that is not a shared reality and is often customized to the individual(s) living inside of it. It can be shared, as I will address later in this essay. The nature of an alternate reality’s individual can exist as a hybrid of personal and shared reality, or it can exist entirely as a personal reality. However, AlterReality individuals do not live exclusively in shared reality (if you drank every time I said reality, I deeply apologize to your liver).

If you've made it this far into the essay, you're probably wondering how one can do this. After all, it is very possible for an individual to make themselves alter reality if they so choose. The methods are as infinite as magic itself; however, one common one is daydreaming. If you are interested in this method, please read my essay "An Introduction To Daydreaming V2", as it has very helpful advice in that. However, if you wish to take those methods further and have yourself make this reality real, it is simply a matter of mindset.

This topic is an essay in its own right, but this world is made up of constructs. Everything from jobs to family to even grocery stores is attached to stories. Take the latter: what do you think of when you think of grocery stores? Shopping for your dinner tonight? The dull tedium of the islands? Free samples? These are all items that exist in the shared reality that I am assuming that you, the reader, share as well. Now, what if we change one of these aspects or add one? Instead of going shopping for your dinner, the grocery store can be an epic quest to find sacred ingredients. Instead of the dull tedium of the islands, you can recreate them as sprawling dungeons filled with puzzles and traps. And of course, free samples are the spoils for all of your adventuring. This can be changed to fit your aesthetic and desires, but essentially, anything can be anything if you really want it to be.

It should be noted that this essay is in no way advocating for benign shut-ins or hikikomori. While personalizing your reality is often a solitary activity, it is enriching as well as encouraging to use shared reality as a prompt for your daydream. Being locked in your room on a physical level often creates a boring personalized reality, as your input is often limited. Go on quests, include your friends in your personal reality, and have fun!

Now, the only question left is: what should you even personalize your reality to be? One way to begin is by looking at your favorite pieces of media. You can simply make your personalized reality the media in question, or take what you like in that piece of media and create it based on these aspects. Of course, you can take any combination of media inspiration or none at all. The important thing here is that you enjoy your personalized reality and can feasibly live in it. One thing to consider is self-insertability, or the ability to add yourself to the fiction you create. These differ greatly depending on both the media and the individual, but they often come in the form of categories that the audience can split themselves into; think characters from Homestuck or elements from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Of course,there are many circumstances in which this trait would not apply. Overall, personal realities are just as diverse as their creators!

Many times, we, as an audience, are just passively observing other worlds. As an AlterReality practitioner, you don't only ascend beyond being an observer; you turn your life into a story. Modern life is filled with tons of stories. Stories about getting rich, having a family, and following the beaten path Why not Alter Your Reality someday and make your own story?

#writing is funn #immersive daydreaming #alterhuman #neuronarration #AlterReality #paracosm #paraportal #daydreaming #madd #otherkin

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renaultphile · 2 months

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More Jane Eyre/The Charioteer parallels!

@nurseadriansbrother Your Jane Eyre post! I love it! I've linked to it here.

I had completely forgotten what a wild imagination young Jane has, no wonder all the adults were a little terrified of her (as Ralph is of Laurie!) I mean that little paragraph of her in bed getting scared so echoes the start of chapter one in TC. My favourite bit is where Mary says ‘he made the emergency known at once’ (ie that he couldn’t sleep (!)

I’m so glad you said that thing about Rochester being brought low so that they can come together. That’s always been in my mind as Charlotte Bronte’s ‘solution’ but I thought it sounded a bit over-dramatic, but I do think she feels she has to practically blind and maim him first!! Very strange, and I suppose there is definitely a parallel with the ending of TC although I always worry about Ralph being brought low because I wonder if he can really accept Laurie taking care of him. Although I do believe that’s the only way it could work. Or some kind of equality at least. And Rochester has the thing about wanting Jane to be honest, I had forgotten about him using that word ‘master’, Wow! It makes me worry if Laurie is just lying to Ralph to make him feel better, he’s going to have to be so careful about that. He seems to struggle so hard with confrontation.

God, I had completely forgotten the references to suicide in Jane Eyre. She is so steadfast. I remember to this day my English teacher explaining to us callow teenagers in words of one syllable what the societal dangers were of Jane becoming Rochester’s mistress.

Jane’s internal monologue is so interesting, yes, she struggles so hard to be fair and reasonable, and trying to take on Helen’s virtues the way Laurie tries to do with Andrew – that bit after the Bunny car scene where he thinks what would Andrew say…….That’s funny though because when I was looking into Ralph’s childhood and wondering how strict his ‘Christian home’ was, and then I re-read that bit in the ‘break-up’ scene where Laurie says he is like someone suffering for a cause, I immediately thought ‘martyr’ and I haven’t been able to un-see it! Helen Burns! And all those horrible books about Saints getting tortured Jane used to read….

And Jeepers – what’s interesting is that Mr Brocklehurst presents his hypocrisy as very pragmatic, and in a way I think that’s Jepson’s excuse too. I always think of Straike’s reference to Jepson’s hypochronia!

OK and finally – gothic horror!! You read my mind! One of my little theories about Ralph is that he is always saying ‘Don’t worry’ to Laurie and although that sounds like kindness, I always feel there is a little wind-up element to it, as in, ‘I wasn’t worrying, why do you think I would be?’ and I have this feeling of Ralph’s power kick (I’m sure entirely unconsciously) being to slightly frighten people and then be all nice and comforting. Sorry, have I just gone off the deep end or does that make sense?

#the charioteer #mary renault #Jane Eyre #Charlotte Bronte #Parallels!!!

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olderthannetfic · 10 months

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Hi there! I hope you're having a nice day.

Little bit of a rant and a bid for advice, if you or your readers have any. I hope that's alright.

I'm currently writing a fic or maybe multiple fics (plot bunnies be running rampant in me brains) about a rarepair of two guys. I'm a bi woman and have basically zero social skills, so in order to properly understand other people's body language, I like to look up guides or articles about body language between two people, although I know those things are full of bullshit and don't mean anything, and it's hard to find articles for example about whether another woman's body language indicates interest in you if you're a woman yourself, but eh, they're still better than my brain which is usually like "eh, could mean this or that or this or that or this or that or- basically could be anything, I wouldn't know that lol, now I'm tired and will shut off, bye" aka useless as well.

The results I've found have been absolutely useless. I like writing characters in a slightly plausible-sounding way, so I like incorporating body language as in acting choices or subconscious body language (or whatever a proper term might be) in my writing to make it sound more in-character. So for stuff like this, I usually just think "ok what is that person's expression and if I do it, what would that indicate me to be feeling currently", and I don't know if other people do that or if that's just me being bad with social stuff and intuition about it again, and if I should really try to get re-evaluated for autism which I have been advised to think about doing multiple times in multiple direct and indirect implicative ways such as people being like "hey btw are you autistic? no? you sure?" or "I know you got a negative diagnosis as a kid, but maybe that was wrong and you might wanna do it again because of all your social struggles and sensory stuff etc.", heh. (Have been diagnosed with ADHD though, so that might also just be it.)

Sorry for the rambling. English isn't my first language, so if anything sounds strange, that's to blame.

My question or rather bid for advice is: I am wondering if you or your readers might have any advice on where to find resources for reading body language and romantic or sexual implications in body language between two parties, in this case between two guys.

(Hopefully this is not too nonsensical or insensitive or something like that because that's not my intention. I just really don't know how to human or if there actually is some difference on how different people of different genders flirt consciously or subconsciously or if that's some weird unnoticed transphobic bio-essentialism shit that I hadn't yet noticed and sorted out of my head because I don't want to be transphobic since that sucks.)

Weeell...

If people have links to guides, that's great, but I do think that in the context of fanfic, people often write flirting that they find sexy or they write whatever the canon style of interaction is and recontextualize it as how these particular guys flirt.

They're not usually thinking "What does flirting look like in general?" and then having the characters behave in a new way.

A lot of our interpretation of body language in written fiction has to do with information we get from the POV character about how they're feeling internally. For the non-POV character, we may have the POV character's thoughts on what the body language means, but we're generally interpreting it based on media cliches and based on knowing this is a ship fic.

So the other dude acts like he doesn't like our POV dude and the POV dude is like "Alas, my pining is unrequited!" and the audience goes "Ooooh, it's one of those fics!"

If the goal is writing certain types of fic, you may not need a guide to How People Really Act as much as one to How Fans Interpret Such and Such a Behavior from Canon as Subtext.

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necrolord-prime-camilla-hect · 2 years

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Okay I have Thoughts about Muir’s use of language, and I’m going to ramble about it a little bit. This is going to be Long, and I don’t have any especially profound points, I’m just kind of getting some thoughts out.

I found myself noticing Muir's use of obscure, often archaic vocabulary a lot more on my re-read than I did on my first time reading through, and I think the effects it has on worldbuilding and characterization are interesting.

In terms of worldbuilding, it's an interesting dichotomy with the casual vernacular that is also used, especially the modern cultural references throughout. Those references create a through-line to a point of familiarity for the audience and implies that This World Came From Ours. And the contrast between the aggressively modern, casual language and the academic or archaic language is really striking; the use of that obscure language is establishing that This World Is Not Like Ours. It's been 10,000 years, language is used a little bit differently. The use of words that are probably not very familiar or intuitive to most of the audience is a little bit alienating - and it’s supposed to be. It’s a way of establishing distance between the audience and the world of the story, and imo it’s a much more graceful way of doing so than by making up new sci-fi/fantasy words. The use of more archaic language also adds a little bit more to the fantasy side of things; these people may be discussing space travel, but some of their words choices sound like medieval monks and also they can do bone magic. It’s a whole tonal mash-up (just like everything else about the books).

In terms of characterization... I don’t have quite as solid thoughts about this. I will say that I noticed more of the archaic/academic/very formal language in Harrow than in Gideon, but (at least in the Mithraeum scenes) that isn’t entirely attributable to a pov difference. And even in Gideon, the narration absolutely still includes obscure vocabulary. So I think it may be more of a Ninth thing than a character-specific thing. It’s not just that Harrow is a little nerdy nun who reads ancient books about bones for fun instead of talking to people her age and her vocabulary reflects that (although it absolutely does). This kind of language doesn’t crop up as much (as far as I remember, please feel free to correct me) in dialogue from other characters, except for when discussing very technical aspects of necromancy. So because it shows up both from Gideon and Harrow, in their internal narration and a bit in their dialogue, I think the effect is establishing a little bit more how cut off the Ninth is from the rest of the Houses. They’re culturally isolated; the language and vernacular of the other Houses has moved on, but they haven’t. (Thematically, this also complements the obvious Ninth worship of something ancient and dead; just overall Ninth vibes, I guess.)

I also think it’s a fun detail to note the difference between how the Lyctors talk and how the other characters talk. It’s so noticeable from John “none Houses with left grief” that it’s almost not worth pointing out, but it seems that the Lyctors talk in a more familiar and casual manner, to our modern sensibilities, than Harrow and Gideon do. This is a notable divergence from the typical fantasy trope of immortal characters talking more formally/archaically, and it ties back in to the worldbuilding point above, about how This World Came From Ours. The older characters have more of a connection to the world that we think of as modern, and the other characters have moved away from it.

I guess my overall point is just this: the very deliberate word choice throughout these books is a fantastic degree of attention to detail, and it adds a lot tonally and thematically to the books.

#if anyone reads this whole thing i am handing you a cookie. thanks #also if anyone has further thoughts on this. would love to hear them.#gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth spoilers #jester rambles

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pantherlover · 10 months

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An Artificial Night Re-Read: Part 1

Hello again! It took me a little longer to get started on this book, but I'm back to re-read An Artificial Night. I'm *very* excited for this book; this was the one that made me a ride-or-die reader of the series, so I'm interested in seeing what I can pick up from it now that we know about the series. Please feel free to discuss things with me! It makes everything much more fun.

Chapter One:

Is Dame Altair ever mentioned again? I don't think so.

This might be one of my favourite openings. Low stakes job! Danny's trying to get Toby to have a life! The Brown kids!

I feel like Danny's reaction to the Barghests being 'awww! This thing that kill people a dozen different ways is so cute!' and to adopt them all demonstrates the biggest reason why Toby and Danny are such good friends.

We get an April mention! It's nice to see her enjoying herself, even (especially?) if its' at Toby's expense.

'I don't know. How about you call that King of Cats guy I used to see you with?' How often did Tybalt follow her around, even when they 'hated' each other, that Danny knew him? I don't think they met each other in the first book, and they didn't see each other at all in the second.

Do we know what age fae children typically start going to mortal school? Toby mentions that the only Brown kid that's currently living on a mortal schedule is Cassandra. Karen's eleven, so she should have control over her magic by now, so it's not learning how to hold illusions that means that hey can go to school. Do they just go for high school? Or is it just the nobility that sends their kids for a few years of mortal school?

I *love* that the Brown kids call Toby Aunt Birdie. And the Brown kids love her soooooo muuuuuuch.

'If I'd been juggling that many kids, I would have demanded whiskey and duct tape instead of offering them things bound to make them even more hyperactive.' Says the woman who's house is going to be a second home for, like, half a dozen kids? And I'm pretty sure routinely hosts pizza nights? Although maybe she thinks it's different 'cause all of her kids are teenagers.

Here's a mention of how little Stacy's aging and how much all of the kids look like her.

Andy's cake sounds amazing; I want Kerry to make me a cake with sugar dinosaurs.

Chapter Two:

Poor Spike; the cats are always ganging up on him. You would think the fact that he has *thorns* would make him a little harder to bully, but smaller animals seem to have a knack for intimidating animals who should definitely be able to handle them.

Re-reading has definitely made me feel much worse for Rayseline and Connor. Rayseline's nature was literally fighting itself, and she wasn't getting anywhere near enough support for what she'd gone through. And it was very unfair to expect Connor to be able to 'fix' her when he barely had any support of his own. I don't know if they would've been capable of being friends if Rayseline hadn't been tearing herself apart, but I'm sad that they never had the chance to try.

May's here!!!! Yayyyyyyyyy!!!!!

So here, May's says that the reason she's here is because Toby's going to die soon. In later books, Toby says that Fetches aren't *actually* portents of death, it's just that the people who'd create Fetches tend to be the type of people who have short lifespans (correlation does not equal causation). Wouldn't the Fetches themselves know that? Or does it normally work like that and it's just that Toby's an unusual case?

I am veeeeeeeeery curious about where Toby's met a Fetch before.

Has anyone ever written a fic of May trying things out and figuring out what she likes? I think that would be interesting to explore.

'Fragments of plate crunched underfoot, cutting my feet. I didn't care. It didn't matter. When you're waiting to die, you have bigger things to worry about than a little bit of blood.' I cannot believe I didn't pick up that Toby's pain tolerance/healing abilities were above average. Who just walks over *shattered plates* and is? Fine??

Chapter Three:

We're already getting into the quest and Toby a) hasn't slept enough and b) hasn't eaten enough. This isn't a great start for her this book.

Karen, Jessica, and Andrew were very lucky that Blind Michael didn't realize that they were Titania's children. It's interesting to think about how Titania would've reacted if she'd known who she was - I can't decide if she'd take it as an opportunity to get rid of them or be deeply insulted that a son of Maeve would Dare steal *her* children and just raze everything to the ground.

Spike reacting so strongly because he was created from a Blodynbryd is a neat detail I didn't pick up the first time.

Oh, poor Mitch. His kids keep getting sucked into things much bigger than them, and he can't do anything but watch.

That's it for now! As always, please come and discuss things with me!

#October Daye #An Artificial Night #Reread Project

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forcebookish · 7 months

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Sometimes I think. You know. I probably would have enjoyed only friends more if I didn’t see people saying stuff like “Boston and Nick had the healthiest relationship among all the couples!” On this hellsite.

I actually don’t think it was terrible. Especially after rewatching it. But I can see the flaws and things that could have been done better.

I saw someone say that it’s a show that feels like halfway through airing someone edited the episodes badly not caring about continuity. Like that there was meddling somewhere along the way. And honestly I sort of agree. Something feels. Off. About the way things were handled. Like if the Top and Mew smashing stuff scene was removed from its episode, why was it still in the trailer for that episode? Was it that down to the wire. That seems like a bad idea to edit major scenes out that close to air time.

I will forever mourn the loss of a scene of Force acting his ass off as Top while realizing he isn’t over Mew cause he can’t hook up with someone else.

Anyway. It was still nice to see the actors all get to stretch as performers and go outside of high school and tell slightly more mature stories, even if it was far from perfect.

oh, p'jojo literally confirmed that they were re-editing every week based on fan reactions. it doesn't just feel like it was meddled with, it straight up was! and definitely to the detriment of the story.

however, there are some glaring issues that still would have been present without the hack-job the series got, because it's not just the editing that goes off the rails in the end: the writing suffered as they ran out of ideas while also trying to cram ideas that didn't fit into the narrative (read: boeing's pointlessness). they should have spent more time workshopping and fleshing out boeing's character. in a series full of well-rounded, realistic characters he just felt tacked on and couldn't even serve the purpose of developing said characters. it's like they couldn't decide between being a show that actually explored these relationships and friendships or being a show where everyone just kissed for no reason. you can thread the needle between horny and well-crafted storytelling, but it fell apart.

it is HYSTERICAL to me that people think that nickboston was the healthiest. yeah, the couple where one of them bugged the other's car out of jealousy then listened to the sounds of him fucking another guy on repeat, leading to the other shouting at him and hitting him at his place of work... only to end up together literally only because nick was the only person left in boston's life who loved him... broke up because boston, despite saying he wanted a relationship, kissed some rando while on a date with nick. they only ever talked about what they really wanted out of the relationship in subtext and code or when it was too late.

yeah. picture of health.

i really need fandom, BUT BL FANDOM ESPECIALLY, to stop measuring couples based on their "health." although it can be a perk to certain ships, it's not the point. nickboston being unhealthy is what makes them interesting! they're both super fucked up and the unpackable baggage between them makes them fun to watch! that's not to say that a fictional couple who are healthy can't be interesting, but that just doesn't apply to nickboston.

THAT BEING SAID, topmew are easily the healthiest couple in the series, but a fandom that focuses on top having to "change" for mew (soooo, quitting drugs for someone is only good when ray does it?) of course isn't going to notice the way they navigate the relationship through talking about their feelings and desires while setting boundaries is what a healthy relationship actually takes. and even without the inciting incident, that dynamic was still interesting because there was still tension within the relationship. that's what actually makes relationships in media interesting: tension. the characters have a give and take, either they clash or play off each other. a healthy relationship is about wanting the same thing out of it and working toward that goal together: that goal can still be interesting.

and i'm not just saying that because i prefer them over the other couples, because I WANT TO REITERATE, THE HEALTH OF A FICTIONAL RELATIONSHIP IS NOT SOMETHING NEEDED FOR IT TO BE APPEALING. and it's really annoying how fandom will just say that a ship is healthy when really they mean, "i like it." you can just like things, mary.

and yeah, i probably would have enjoyed the series more if i hadn't seen this fandom's bullshit every week - but even if i'd binged it those last episodes would have driven me crazy with how much they lost the plot. and i just... really can't get over how annoying ray is. if i do rewatch it, i'm probably going to skip most, if not all, of his scenes because i truly cannot stand his whining. i see those "na, naa, naaa, naaaaaa" compilations and i go ????? really???? you all like this??? "you would give in too" no i would the fuck not

maybe i'll just stick to that topmew-only cut for the time being🤷‍♀️

as always, i wrote too much and i mostly just repeated myself, but thanks for stopping by and giving me an excuse to rant, anon!🥰

#ofs liveblog #anonymous #asked and answered

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zero-ek · 2 months

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A couple of live concerts and some thoughts on them

Howdy!

So there’s been a whole bunch of concerts i wanted to watch very close to one another these past 4 months or so, and originally i was just gonna post my reports as they went. But, due to my computer breaking down after the first one, and also not to spam the feeds of the handful of people who for some reason follow this blog, i figured I’d just wait it out and make it a very big post instead.

I wrote each of these a couple days after they aired, so it’s been very interesting to re-read these and look back stuff i wrote myself that isn't college assignments lol. I mention this often but I’ve got a very poor memory, so i tend to feel disconnected from stuff i did in the past when i see it, like, i have to tell myself “this was me, i wrote/made this” because i don’t usually remember doing it myself.

I don’t know why i haven’t thought of it after all this time but re-reading through these inspired me to start keeping a diary, if i can’t keep my memories in my brain, then paper will do it for me!

Anyhow, that’s enough about me for the time being. This first half be about the Vsinger side of things, while part two will be the utaite concerts, i will number in order if you wanna follow this chronologically though. Starting with:

1. RIM – NEUROMANCE II

It’s Mechi time!

I’m sorry but i absolutely love how RIM’s nickname (d)evolved into just “Mechi”, it’s so silly sounding i love it.

I really don’t talk about this enough but RIM is my favourite Kamitsubaki artist, like, i don’t know how to explain it, but after i think 2 years of listening to her the “i-found-a-new-artist-i like” euphoria still hasn’t worn off. New Romancer is probably the closest thing to a perfect album that I’ve ever heard, none of the songs have gotten old to me even after so long.

That being said, i really haven’t been keeping up with what Kamitsubaki’s been doing ever since i think BudouKAF really, and by extension what RIM has been doing outside of her music releases. So although i was really excited for my first ever RIM solo live, I’m gonna be honest not knowing what the whole Sinka series was about did kinda threw me off a bit.

Also, something else that cut my hype short and that i will preemptively apologize for is that my computer decided it didn’t want to live anymore a couple days after the concert, so i had to make the draft of this post on my phone and by the time i got this thing back not only had most of my post-live excitement worn off already, but the whole situation made me very grumpy. So I’m really sorry if i don’t sound as excited as i should be but i guarantee you that i really did enjoy this live.

Anyways:

Fanfare!

I really didn’t expect it, since I’m much more a fan of her heavier, rock songs, but ever since this track came out on the Singularity Live album it’s been one of my most listened songs of hers for like the whole year. Something that i noticed a lot about New Romancer II is how blends Sasagawa Mao’s quintessential writing and melody phrases with the addictive pop beats, structures and overall structure of more modern J-Pop/Vocaloid music.

It’s like, New Romancer is the album you rock out to, and New Romancer II the album you’ll catch yourself humming to without realizing.

Also also, Cosmic Puppets! I’m so glad it still got one last stage appearance, it’s my favourite of RIM’s designs by far and i don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I’m sure the new one will grow on me but i don’t know, it just doesn’t scream RIM to me as much as this one does. (Future Zero here, the new one still hasn’t grown on me. Team Cosmic Puppets forever!)

Crybaby is my alarm clock, so i actually got a little jumpscared when it came up, lol, especially so early into the concert.

Also, massive appreciation for Kamitsubaki’s in-house engineer, i love how the live sound is so huge, but each instrument is so cleanly separated from each other. I can only imagine how much it shakes you in person, which is to say Neuromance III better be a venue concert PIEDPIPER do you hear me she deserves it!!!!

Now for my single grievance with this concert, is that the simplified-for-live arrangements do take away a bit from the songs a bit. Now don’t get me wrong, i completely get why they do it, this is a 2 hour concert, the musicians need to conserve as much energy as possible. But at the same time, Sasagawa Mao has one of the best senses for rhythm sections that I’ve ever heard, and it’s hard not to feel kinda sad when you don’t get to hear it.

That is to say i really missed that drum groove on the second verse of “The Moon does not...” and I’m a bit salty about it.

First, i gotta say my compliments to Kamitsubaki’s 3d environment team, i do try to keep up with concert live reports when they come out, so i was aware that they were doing some really impressive stuff, but it’s even more impressive to see it for myself.

Also, i feel like the tracking is much better too, her movements look so much more fluid and her face much more expressive compared to like the Singularity live. It does not enter my mind how the heck they’re rendering this live.

I love when they do these little intros for songs it always gives me goosebumps when you catch on the rhythm and key and realize “oh it’s this song” right before it hits.

Also i just complained about the whole live-ification thing but I’m already taking it back my jaw is on the floor at how much Pillow Talk and Neuromance sounded just like they where on the record, actually even better that i could pick each instrument apart. I’m sorry live band i should’ve never doubted you.

Honestly thought there wasn’t gonna be any MCs at all in this live lol girl breathe.

Also look it’s her original hairstyle!

Ok so this is the part where i gotta ask what the heck is going on, currently regretting not doing my homework on the Sinka series I’m so lost.

I love the idea of the discotheque, like just 10 minutes of her running around and vibing, honestly every concert should have something like that. Although i was kinda hoping I’d get to hear Mateki in full in this live but alas you can’t have everything in life.

It’s original outfit RIM!

Guiano!

I gotta be honest, they picked the songs from “Imagine” i listen to the least, but it still always tickles my brain when i hear their voices in unison. Guiano’s lower tones are so clear, it’s almost uncanny how well his voice blends with RIM’s. I would love to hear them together in more harmonically diverse contexts, i bet it’d sound insane.

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One of the highlights of the live for me, Eloim was already one of my favourites from NRII, but i think it goes even harder with the live band, like it sounds so much more aggressive with the drum hits, the huge bass and the guitars, it actually got my heart jumping. I am soooooo thankful they put this one on Youtube.

Also also tell me i'm not the only one who thinks that the Counter Clockwise design looks very Gallifreyan.

It’s another Mechi!

Guiano’s “花鳥風月” (i don’t know how the Romaji for this one goes) is probably my favourite work of his ever, and it feels weirdly fulfilling to hear it with both RIM and RIME together, and with a full live band to boot, like, it feels like a natural conclusion to both of their versions of the song, i don’t know how to explain it well.

Also, i don’t know if this is the newer Voicepeak RIME, but i feel like she's tuned much better this time around compared to the Singularity Live.

The second highlight of the live for me, I’m not even sure why, but the visuals here were incredibly captivating, i adore how Kamitsubaki really uses their 3d environments to their fullest potential.

Also, again, how the heck are they rendering this live?

Now to probably the thing that stuck with me the most on this concert.... the talking bit!

So during her last MC she spoke about a lot of stuff from the past 2 years since the first Neuromance, she mainly focused on the topic of plurality, elaborating about people’s perception of her as a Vsinger and how that led her to encounter people very opinionated on it in either direction, and that eventually she came to accept that people are entitled to their own likes and dislikes, and free to be vocal about it, it’s simply a part of life and the human experience.

But something that she spoke that hit me the most was about how much the world had not only changed in these past couple of years since COVID, but it started to move a lot faster than you can sometimes keep up with, this is something that i do struggle with quite a bit. I mention this a lot but i don’t have a really good memory ever since i was like 17 or so, not that it’s deteriorating or anything (i don’t have any diagnoses, really) it’s just that i have a harder time recalling specific things than the average person does.

How this relates to what RIM talked about is that 2020 and early 2021 are particularly blank for me, like, they're particularly hard to recall. A lot of things that i know happened to me in that time period comes from me inferring that it must’ve happened sometime there from like dates and stuff instead of actually recalling how it played out, i imagine there wasn't a lot for me to absorb because of lockdown and being stuck in one place doing the same things over and over for a whole year. I try to be unbothered by it but it can be very hard to ignore the fact that a sizable chunk of my life is just missing.

It goes without saying but that really messes with how you situate yourself in the world, especially considering said world hasn’t been in its best shape since then. I manage, honestly pretty well all things considered, but it’s kinda what i imagine being held back a year in school feels like, not only you’re not up to date with what you should’ve, but you’re also struggling to catch up with your own life and just growing up in general, i know that it’s a common sentiment, especially for us zoomers, to still feel like a teenager while only your body matures, but i feel like for me it’s a little more literal than I’d like.

Speaking of this generation, i think that’s exactly why I’ve been thinking about it so much, RIM is i think only one or two years older than me, and... i don’t know, something about this girl i admire on the other side of the world, in a country totally culturally different than mine, standing in this million-dollar studio, looking directly at me and bringing up something that hits so close to home gave me a sort of weird reality check, like it’s a sign of some sort that i really ought to think about it more.

God dang it i can’t seem to escape the existential dread not even in Vsinger concerts, anyways, for the ending

She then proceeds to sing Eons Whispered after all that talk, i don’t even know what to say because i feel like my mind was somewhere else entirely during this last bit, and the heavenly visuals on this last part just added more to the emotional damage that this whole ending bit was for me

Honestly I’m actually kinda glad this was my first live RIM experience, i looked at the setlist for the first Neuromance after this and as much as i liked the album that came with it, i feel like i got a lot more out of this live than i would’ve from the first one, with having the back and forth between songs from both albums, which as i mentioned, are very sonically distinct.

Although i will say, as much as i love the Kamicity 3D visuals, RIM is definitely one of those singers whose energy gets wasted on virtual concerts. I see some people call her a “gyaru” and i tend to agree, her stage presence just demands a crowd to keep up with her. I know she’ll be at the Yoyogi wars (which i unfortunately won’t be able to watch) but i really feel like she could absolutely own a One Man live by herself. Here’s hoping that comes true sooner than later.

2. SorAZ – First Gravity

I’m really not sure how to start this...

I really feel like i need to preface this but AZKi is probably my single favourite person on this entire planet, like i sincerely and wholeheartedly love her to death, her songs and just her voice in general are irreplaceable to me and even just as a person overall i really look up to her. She hasn’t had a one-man live in i think three years, and it’s been even more time since she’s done one in an actual venue, with a real crowd to cheer her on, so i really need you to understand that i was counting the days until this concert ever since it was announced.

Unfortunately though, i just wasn’t in the headspace to enjoy this concert proper.

Everything for the past few weeks has been absolutely awful for me, my computer decided to break down and it needed a factory reset to get fixed, so i lost a lot of things that i couldn’t backup in time, then i got really sick for like a couple days to just sour my mood even more. But I’d actually gotten over that pretty quickly, i was feeling quite okay until i got served probably the single biggest punch in the gut in years that was Mel’s termination.

I made a post on my initial thoughts on it the day it happened, and i do know there’s been some developments since then, but overall my feelings haven’t changed all that much, that is to say, I’m still a huge mess. And as much as i adore AZKi i just haven’t been in the mood to look at Vstuff in general lately.

I had the ticket already though, so i thought maybe it’d help lift my spirits a lil bit.

(Oh yeah also I’m not sure why but the site says screenshots weren’t allowed, i know people were sharing them on Twitter anyways but i try to be a good girl around these parts. So I’ll use some assorted SorAZ pics instead)

I won’t go song for song, mainly because i feel very exhausted and i don’t feel like typing too much, but also, pretty much the entire setlist was from their new album, Futurity Step. I like that album, i saw someone say somewhere that they’re like “Hololive’s own ClariS” and a truer statement has never been said, it really feels just like a ClariS album. I grew up with ClariS, being a Madoka Child™, they were some of the first concerts i went out of my way to find and watch, i can’t really explain it in any way other than their songs take you into a world of fairy tales when you listen to them, it’s like a unique sort of bubbly, twinkly feeling, like I’m a Precure character or something, i don’t know if there’s a word for it. But the thing is, these aren’t usually the sort of songs that i prefer listening to when I’m feeling down, though, at least not as down as i am right now. I really did want to feel better and excited, but i physically couldn’t bring myself to.

Here’s some highlights i picked out after a couple rewatches.

I’d say Futari Destiny is my favourite song on the album, the melody lines feel the most satisfying to me, and i overall just love a song where the bass goes crazy. I could be just me but i feel like the live setting really helped pick their voices apart, plus, i feel like Sora’s voice sounds a lot sharper, and with a lot more lower harmonics when she sings live, plus the gap with AZKi’s lighter and breathier tones helped make their unison bits sound more interesting in texture.

Which by the way, is one of my few gripes with the album, a lot of their parts are mostly unison, and there isn’t a lot of more interesting vocal harmonies. Which is too bad because like listen to these girls, AZKi is the most beautiful soprano on the face of the Earth, and Sora has as super cool low but piercing quality to her voice, like, songwriters, this is peak harmony material just waiting to be explored! Capitalize on it!

Sora cringing at their scripted MC lines was a mood, also i gotta say you wouldn’t believe that she’s entering her 7th year doing this, she was like a kid introducing themselves at a talent show. It was kinda endearing.

I think what everyone was looking forward to the most was seeing them in their concert dresses together, they made the most out of it but it’s really a shame that the venue’s stage couldn’t do it justice, i feel like songs like "Kimi to Boku..." weren’t as hype as they could’ve been with visuals that could match them. I gotta say, the harmonies in "MAG-NET" were pretty good though, again, i feel like you can appreciate it much more with the less polished nature of live vocals and all.

Probably the biggest highlight for me was “Gamen no Naka...” on AZKi’s solo part, which is a song that really grew on me hard, one because the drums are really awesome (god bless our lord and saviour Wataru Sena), and two, because even though the lyrics are very simplistic and straightforward, i don’t think they’ve ever been truer to me before. I don’t feel like going into detail, but i don’t think there’s any other song in the world that could more accurately describe how I’m feeling right now, towards AZKi, of course, but mainly towards Mel.

I sincerely hope, from the bottom of my heart, that everything goes well for her.

I think i said this before but i think AZKi in her 4th design matches the Bright idol outfit the best out of everyone, but why is her angry face so weird lol.

Skipping to the end, this is probably what got me the most excited, AZKi’s has a one-man and album 3 in the works, which i have been hoping for literal years now, and now that the fanbase is bigger than ever before it does genuinely make me excited to see how far she can go. I know it’s probably daydreaming but i really think, with how much notoriety she’s gotten, that she could perform at like Tokyo Zepp or hell, even Toyosu Pit.

Although, being more realistic, i looked up the venue for Sora’s anni party they announced and it holds only like a couple hundred people, which is surprising, considering she’s, well, the Tokino Sora, but also, i was under the impression that having a label would allow her to go for something much bigger. It could be due to availability or even preference, maybe (i don’t really watch her so i don’t know), but as much as i want to dream big, I’ll try to keep my hopes in moderation for what AZKi has coming up.

All in all, i really wished i could’ve watched this in a better place mentally, like, even with the scuffs and the simple stage, i could tell that they poured all of their heart into their performances. I wholeheartedly wanted to be happier for AZKi, she really is at home on the stage, with an actual audience to interact with, it makes me feel terrible that i couldn’t cheer her on something that she’s probably been waiting so long to do, something that I’ve always wanted to see (minus the Hololive festivals, this is actually my first time seeing her live on a venue).

It’s probably just me drowning in melancholy at the moment, but right now all I’m really hoping for is that nothing goes wrong by the time her solo live comes up, for all i know she could get axed then and there and i don’t want to regret not cheering her own while i still had the chance.

5. Hololive 5th Fes – Capture the Moment

(No keyvis cause i reached the image limit...)

Man, in hindsight, it's pretty cringe, but i've been so negative for pretty much no reason for like the whole month leading up to this concert, yeah absolutely because of Mel, again.

I know that everything’s settled down already and to be fair i had mostly gotten over it myself. But like y’know, she was half the reason i was looking forward to watching this concert to begin with, so i feel that my grumpiness is valid, it’d be surprising if i didn’t get at least a little sulky over her not being there anymore.

I had tickets for the HoloHoney and Stage 3, since Mel is a massive Honeyworks fan, and AZKi was going to show up on both. But since I’ve gotten the HoloHoney ticket mainly for Mel, i decided to just skip it entirely, it just wasn’t worth it for me anymore.

Oh, yeah, I’ll mainly only talk about AZKi (and Suisei) here because they’re the ones i actively follow. I mean no disrespect to the other girls, i just don’t really follow Holo as a whole.

I genuinely cannot shake the impression that AZKi wears the Bright design the absolute best out of everyone I’ve seen, the design just fits her silhouette so perfectly, and the pink highlights match her inner coloured hair beautifully.

I still don’t like "ωNeko" all that much, but i can’t be upset that it’s as popular as it is.

Honorable mention to Mumei’s “Mumei”, i have heard the song before, since it went around quite a bit, and i really liked it, so it was very nice to hear it live.

Another honorable mention to Roboco’s cover of “Boku ga Shinou...”, she’s one of the couple members that i check in on from time to time, she has this unique raspy quality about her singing voice that really tugs at the heartstrings.

Ok, so uh, let’s talk about it, the moment.

(can i just say i'm very proud of this shot they look divine here)

Something that i haven’t seen a lot of people mention is that for quite a while the idea of AZKi and Suisei reuniting seemed like something very unlikely, like, it’s a big part of the reason why it was such of a big deal when AZKi showed up on Suisei’s 500k milestone live (i mean, i remember it, that's really something). By then, it had been a pretty long time since Suisei left INNK (looking it up, it was apparently almost a whole year later), which is pretty universally understood to have been a very rough time for her, so it didn’t seem by that point that they’d ever get together again, i think gen 0 wasn’t a thing yet back then, and AZKi was still pretty much music only as opposed to the more streamer Suisei.

“The Last Frontier” was also extremely heavy hitting when it came out, since just a couple months prior we had learned that AZKi would’ve originally graduated, and as Suisei herself pointed out, it was very much a Swan Song for her. It would’ve pretty much marked the end of their story, and as much of a banger that this song is, it wouldn’t have been a satisfying one at all. Even after they reconnected, they didn’t really get together much, AZKi still being separated from everyone else in INNK, it would’ve been not only the last, but one of the only things these two did together.

(Also also can i just say that it goes extremely underappreciated that AZKi wrote pretty much the whole song? Like, she does lyrics pretty often, but it’s rarer that she actually does the arrangement too, and then she cooks some of the hardest songs to ever grace this planet how frickin awesome is that????)

They sang this song live twice before, and have gotten together a whole lot more since AZKi joined Hololive proper. But it was this moment, right here, that i think was the proper resolution for their whole saga. For AZKi, the song she wrote to someone she thought she couldn’t reach, performed as the grand finale of the festival, on the stage it deserves, that she deserves. And for Suisei, i feel like this was the moment to reach out to AZKi, even more so than their first reunion, to show that none of what they went through was in vain, and that she sees her, that she’s finally properly by her side now.

I could be and probably am wrong about this, but i personally have never seen or don't remember seeing AZKi openly cry before, in fact something that i simultaneously admired and worried about is that for as long as I’ve watched her, she doesn’t ever ”let her guard down”, like she takes breaks extremely rarely, and is always super smiley and in high spirits even things aren’t going super great.

So like, when i saw her actually break down like that, i couldn’t keep it together, i cried so. damn. hard, like genuinely ugly crying, bawling my eyes out and then some, to the point that i felt like a raisin that was left in the sun to dry some more for the whole day, i genuinely believe that i have 床’d the hardest out of any Pioneer alive (fight me Iroha). It was very cathartic tho i do recommend it especially if you’ve been bottling up feelings tangentially related to it and have been grumpy about it for the week.

AZKi is probably the best thing that’s happened to me in these past 5 years, like, i think at this point i can say that she’s a major part of my life and who i am now. There hasn’t been anyone else whose music touched me, comforted me whenever i needed, and inspired me to get on my feet and face life like her music did. There’s no one else who sings like she does, and nothing makes me happier to see her come as far as she did, somewhere that as recently as a year ago I’d never thought it’d be possible. It was just so extremely rewarding to see it, as clear and concrete as it can be, that she made it, that to keep going was the right decision, that she’s achieved something incredible, and that Suisei, the Pioneers, everyone, looks at her with pride.

I’m just so incredibly happy, i can’t put it into words, i couldn’t have asked for anything more.

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Watching back the MV after this live, i cannot even begin to tell you how much more complete and fulfilling it feels now. The two of them, looking for each other, but never meeting until the very end. Now, i think more than ever, the last part truly became real, the two of them holding hands, looking at the same sky.

Tonight, Canopus was the brightest star in the sky.

Continues in the next one

#kamitsubaki #RIM #hololive #AZKi #tokino sora #hoshimachi suisei

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