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1mnobodywhoareyou · 4 months

Note

For the prompts... Which social media platforms they use and which they hate. This could be for all of them... or as many as you want.

It's been a hot minute since I was on twitter but I've wanted to play with this idea for a bit and you provided the perfect opportunity! THANK YOU! Please forgive the laziness in formatting and choosing handles and also any weird inaccuracies about how the platform actually works. Enjoy! :D

“It happened again!” Alex mutters as he collapses face first onto the couch in the studio, arm extended above his head with his phone cradled in his hand.

The others look at one another and back at him.

“What happened again?” Julie asks.

Alex waves his phone at her without moving his face from the cushion and she gets up from where she’d been seated at the piano to grab it from him. She quickly enters his passcode and is met with a screen filled with Twitter notifications. She chokes down a small chuckle before opening up his app.

Luke and Reggie look over her shoulder to see what the big deal is. They both *have* Twitter but neither of them use it. Reggie prefers being able to entertain his followers on TikTok and Luke… well, Luke insists that nothing replaces that in-person connection with fans.

sunsetcurve4eva caught the boys (and Julie) at their show last night! SO GOOD! Always love seeing them play #sunsetcurve #julieandthephantoms *attached video*

Insertusernamehere replying to sunsetcurve4eva their drummer is incredible!

alexmercer replying to insertusernamehere he’s alright i guess

insertusernamehere replying to alexmercer lemme guess, you could do better?

strummingdrumming replying to alexmercer 🙄where’d you even come from? it takes nothing to acknowledge someone else’s talent

Reggie can’t stop the giggle that escapes as Julie scrolls through hundreds of people coming to Alex’s defense and Luke snorts at the next tweet he sees.

alexmercerislife replying to insertusernamehere strummingdrumming JFC do none of you even realize who that is?

“Oof,” Alex huffs out when Reggie jumps onto his back, laying out over his friend.

“Own your awesomeness, Alex!” Reggie exclaims, turning to rest his cheek between Alex’s shoulder blades and staring up at Julie and Luke who are both bearing huge grins of their own.

“Yeah, Alex,” Julie adds.

“What awesomeness is Alex owning?” the four of them turn to look at where the new and unexpected voice had come from. “There’s a lot to choose from!” Willie smirks down at his boyfriend who promptly sits up, knocking Reggie off of him and onto the floor.

“Hey!” Reggie cries good humouredly as Alex reaches grabby hands out to Willie who complies immediately and allows himself to be wrapped into a hug as he stands between Alex’s legs.

“They’re all being mean to me,” Alex mumbles.

Willie laughs as he runs a hand through Alex’s hair, “I’m sure. What is it this time?”

Julie just hands Willie the phone and he lets out a guffaw as he reads through the same tweets that Julie and the boys had just worked through. He locks Alex’s phone and throws it onto the couch beside him before reaching down to gently grab Alex by the chin and force him to look up at Willie.

“When will you learn?” Willie asks earnestly before leaning down to drop a peck on Alex’s lips. “People love you! Let them.”

Reggie nods while Luke points at Willie in agreement, “what he said!”

“Fine,” Alex grumbles as he pulls Willie down into his lap.

“We’ll bully you into loving yourself if we have to,” Julie says with a grin.

“Sounds homophobic,” Alex mutters into Willie’s shoulder.

Julie laughs as she rolls her eyes before quickly pausing as she realizes something, “wait, you said again. This has happened before?”

“So. many. times,” Alex cries as he collapses back into the couch.

“I’m confused,” Reggie wonders as his brow creases in thought, “if these people love you, how do they not know you’re you?”

Julie lowers herself to sit beside Reggie on the floor where he’d made himself comfortable, “not every fan is a stan, Reg. You know that.”

“Thank goodness for that,” Luke chimes in. He loves their fans but there is a limit to how much being recognized and photographed that he can handle.

“And maybe they’re new fans or this was their first time seeing or hearing us,” Julie adds with a shrug.

“I just love that it allows this to keep happening,” Willie grins, looking back toward Alex who had covered his face with his forearm. “When you say so many times…?”

“This is at least the third.”

Luke lets out another chuckle, “serves you right.”

Alex removes his arm from in front of his face to glare at Luke.

Reggie’s eyes widen as he realizes something and he pats his pockets, looking for his own phone. He comes up empty and scans the room before spotting it and crawling over to grab it. He types for a moment and grins as Alex’s phone chimes from beside him.

thereginaldpeters replying to insertusernamehere alexmercer yeah, own your awesomeness Alex

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cornfarm · 3 years

Text

waves against the rocks

saiki kusuo x reader

word count: 2.0k

synopsis: you show saiki your powers. he’s unbearibly jealous, yet for the first time, he feels seen and understood by another person.

cws: mention of the reader having a bad family

genre: melancholic fluff

reader is gender neutral!

===================================================

notes:

greetings... i promise i’m working on cease and desist part 2 but i keep starting one shots;; I ALSO DECIDED TO CHANGE MY TEXT FORMAT... i yoinked all the capital letters away... it feels a bit more liberating

whenever i make my crazy op self insert oc, i always think about how i can make them a foil/double to the characters i like. for example my gintama s/i is also a traumatized war veteran. i thought like... wouldn’t it be fun to write the reader character as a direct foil AND double to saiki? they have everything he doesn’t, but he has a lot that they dont and it’s like,., mutual jealousy.

i also wanted to write saiki properly empathizing with someone. aiura and toritsuka are so fun because they both have different moral compasses with their powers and how they’d like to use them. however despite the fact theyre all psychics, saiki can’t really empathize with either of them.

i wanted to have saiki be excited about something, and feel truly seen. empathy is a very powerful thing.

i hope the “ability” i chose isn’t too cringe;;;

i can’t help but feel like i write saiki ooc so feedback would be super appreciated!

===================================================

perception. the way people are seen by others, the mental images and sour thoughts rooted in nothing but misconception. the falsafied persona of greatness, beauty, and kindness. perception.

you kept saiki afterschool. tugging at his sleeve, you quietly asked “i need to show you something, stay here for a few extra minutes?”. he refused you at first, but you stayed firm, “i need you to stay.” fierce. he decided to stay.

but you stood before saiki, right? were you there? he suddenly felt a bit weary, head pounding at the thought of you. your name, voice, scent, failing to find matches in his library of records. when he thought of you, his brain flickered through the faces and names of everyone else he knew.

you were a gap, a void, a sudden unconjurable memory. it was horrifying. but he quickly accepted it. the body circling behind of him was none of his concern, because there was nobody there. he supposes he should go home now. why was he standing alone in the classroom anyways?

firm hands land on his shoulders, warm, present. he remembers why he’s here.

“it’s not that i’m invisible, it’s just that your brain can’t recognize me, and refuses to acknolwedge me as a thing that exists.”

like a wave crashing against a rocky shore, the void is filled. your voice, your scent, your name, all slotted back into place in his mental library. he recognizes the hands on your shoulders as yours.

a hand snakes around and pushes up his glasses, covering his eyes.

“it’s not about visibility, it’s perception. you are unable to percieve me as a living thing, or of anything of importance. that’s why you can’t read my thoughts, and that’s why you’re so quick to give up trying to recall me.”

he’s practically trembling- you have one power. it was simple, but it managed to find a loophole around practically all of his.

“that’s terrifying.”

“right?”

you take your hands away and step in front of him. he adjusts his glasses properly.

“were you born with it?”

you nod, “it caused me trouble when i was a kid. i almost got left at an airport,” you chuckle.

“does anyone else know?”

“i’ve tried to tell my parents but they don’t believe me. they called me a liar and delusional, so i decided to stop trying with them. nobody else knows, i’ve never told any of my past friends either. when i found out about your powers, i thought maybe someone would finally understand. that’s the only reason i wanted to tell you.”

your lip quivers, “you believe me, right?”

truth be told, saiki’s stunned. he wasn’t expecting someone like you to have such an abrasive ability. despite how reclusive and fittingly unnoticeable it is, it was certainly powerful.

he’s jealous. you were able to freely aquire something he wanted- privacy, but he does believe you, afterall he just watched you waltz around him, outside of his keen field of view.

“yeah, i do.”

you smile, bright and wide- you’re nearly trembling. was being believed that big of a deal to you?

you take a step forward and embrace him, wrapping your arms around his torso as your head presses against his chest. he goes a bit stiff, and glances at the door. “hey, someone might walk in-”

“it’s fine.” you look up at him, meeting his eyes, and oh. your eyes are glimmering, shining greater than he’s ever seen them, “they won’t.”

burying your face back into him, he tenataively wraps his arms around your back. you continue, voice muffled, “’m sorry, you’re the first person who’s accepted me. i’m happy.”

the emotional explanation for your actions ease him a bit, “it’s fine.” he states back.

you finally pull away, and for a brief moment as you lose connection, you flicker out of his view, but you come back in again, placing your hand on his.

“actually, i can touch you while using my power without you being affected by them, but i’m manually using it on you right now.”

“if you touch someone while making sure they still can’t see you, what does that make them experience?” his voice is clear, a bit fierce in tone. you always had trouble reading saiki, but you could tell that this was interest. perhaps he was threatened, but he was certainly intrigued.

“they might whirl around and look who’s touching them and account it to a person around them, but if not, they might think they’re having sensory hallucinations. i can also talk to people, but because my voice doesn’t have any weight to it, it’s almost like a hypnotic suggestion.”

“so you can brainwash people?”

“not necessarily,” you let go of his hand, you must have released your power, your eyes are dark, “if i suggest something to someone and it’s something mild, they’re more likely to do it because it already falls into their line of thinking. if i suggest something bold, they might do it thinking it’s an impulsive thought.”

“most people won’t do extreme things, they’ll read those as intrusive thoughts. but sometimes people think my voice is the voice of god, or a passed on relative, and will do intense things regardless of their judgement. others have poor impulse control, and some are just batshit crazy.”

you sheepishly scratch your head, “but i don’t really like having that much control over people. i don’t want to use my powers to hurt anyone.”

“do you want to use them to help people?”

you pause. it seems you’ve thought about this quite a bit.

“well my powers can’t help people. they give me the ability to help people, but they can’t help people directly. i think it’s a matter of it i’m strong enough to help people.”

“are you?”

“would you hate me if i said no? of course i lend a hand to my friends when they need it, but i don’t think i’m strong enough to really make a difference. i want to live peacefully.”

you look down at your hands, “i wish i wasn’t born with it.”

saiki felt unnervingly softhearted. he struggled empathizing with his peers, but his heart pounded in solemn familiarity. “i don’t hate you for that, i’m the same. having the powers i do means i have the responsibility of keeping the world in peace. people would be jealous of me for the self-fulfilling purposes i could use my powers for, but i don’t want to use my powers to hurt people. i don’t want to help anyone either. i just want to be left alone.”

guilt. guilt was a disease, just like jealousy is. it eats at you from the inside, and creeps up at times least expected. it left both of you hollow and empty.

“i wish i didn’t have powers,” he continues, “i don’t think i’ve ever properly experienced life in the way i’m supposed to, like everyone else has. i’m envious of you, you’ve had a bit more normalcy than me.”

“i suppose we’re equally unhappy, then,” you smile at him. he had been staring out the window, but he turns to looks at you. you’re leaning on the door of the classroom, tilting your head, you ask him a silent “walk home with me?”.

“i mean,” you begin, “i’ve missed out on a lot. i’ve always had trouble making friends- my powers made it difficult for people to remain interested in me. i’ve gotten pretty good at controlling them, pk academy has been really good to me, but it doesn’t heal the damage it’s caused me.”

your teeth gnaw at your lower lip, “your family is so supportive of you, they love you so much, it makes me angry. i wish i could say the same about mine.”

it wasn’t too empty in the school, but your footsteps were loud and clear, both you and saiki walking in sync. saiki didn’t really know what to say, so he stayed silent.

sighing, you continue, “i don’t want to be alone, but it’s too easy to be reclusive when that’s where you’ve always been. if you live a life of isolation, making friends is scary and draining,” a grim smile forms on your face, as if you’re trying to comfort yourself.

but saiki does have to admit that the two of you have much more in common than he initially thought. he quietly thinks to himself, perhaps he could use your abilities.

“y/n,” he begins, eyes meeting yours, “will you do me a favor?”

“yeah, what is it?”

he doesn’t like being indebted to people, but he wants to test your limits. you don’t give him the chance to ask, “you want me to use my powers while we walk out together, don’t you.”

his mouth falls a bit open, lips parting, “how did you know?”.

you laugh, “you’re not the only one who can read minds,” and reach out to wrap a hand around his forearm. he raises a brow at you, seemingly amused by your comment. he expected you to take his hand again, but your firm grip on his arm was admitedly unexpected.

he felt his heart skip a beat.

“well? are you doing it?”

“yup, you won’t feel any different though.”

walking down the steps together, people passed the two of you, strangers, familiar faces, teachers. nobody noticed.

the two of you passed toritsuka at the steps, but he paid no mind. “you know,” saiki started, “when i use my invisibility power, that guy can still see me.”

“can he?” you murmur, your voice a bit low.

“if it’s easier, you can just think what you’d like to say to me, we can talk that way.”

you squint your eyes in concentration, “like this?” you think to yourself.

“yeah.”

you smile. you continue to hold onto his arm as he changes his shoes.

“that must be frustrating, that he can still see you.”

he nods. he supposes if toritsuka can’t see you, then aiura probably can’t track you- and him, down either.

“hold onto my arm while i change mine.”

without breaking contact, he gently wraps his fingers around your wrist. you hastily change your shoes, and slide your hand a bit up, taking his in yours.

“is it neccesary to hold hands?” he asks. his expression was nearly deadpanned, but the slight crease in his brows communicated just enough. he felt sheepish, a bit lost.

“no, but it’s nice.”

teruhashi stands idly at the exit, waiting, doing her best to gently shake off the boys that surrounded her.

“she’s looking for me.”

“is she? do you want to talk to her?”

“no.”

you pause.

“is she the reason you asked me to do this for you?”

he nods.

you turn and head towards the gate, but not before waving a hand in front of her face. you take a deep breath, before exclaiming a loud “teruhashi!”. she whirls around, trying to find the source of the voice, looking rather bewildered.

letting out a hearty laugh, you grin up at him. a slight huff of air escapes his upturned lips.

the two of you slip past the front gate.

“but you owe me something in return, i don’t give out my labor for free!”

he sighs, “what would you like?”

“wait, really? i was joking, you don’t have to do anything for me!” you double down on your demands.

“you say that, but i know you’re secretly hoping i’ll treat you.”

“shit, i forgot you can read my mind. that’s so invasive.” you pout, “not fair!”

“it’s fine, i don’t like being indebted to people, and you did do me a favor like i asked, so i’ll take you somewhere.”

you look a bit nervous, “really? you’re sure?”

“just accept the offer before i revoke it.”

you twirl in a circle, letting go of his hand and hopping a few steps ahead of him. “you’re buying me a nice coffee then!”

he lunges out to take it again.

“sure.”

and once more in sync, both of your hearts skip a beat.

#im sorry for writing so much friends to lovers in the pining stage i can't help it /j #the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #the disasterous life of saiki k #saiki k #saiki kusuo #saiki kusuo x reader #saiki k imagines #saiki k headcanons #saiki x reader

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thisisawonderfulusername · 3 years

Text

almost normal

five hargreeves x reader

summary: when you get stuck in the apocalypse, you try to make life as normal as possible before you can make it back to your time

warnings: drinking, baby (i hate babies eww), cursing, flufffffff

word count: 2.5k

a/n: this idea buried itself in my head and i’m glad people are interested in reading it :D they are a bit younger when they return to 2019, and i also didn’t know how to end it. enjoy! side ramble: while i was editing the first few paragraphs, i realized, wouldn’t more people with powers have survived the apocalypse? like, we don’t know what other powers there are, but surely there were some invincible folks or people who could somehow avoid being blasted. or maybe there were but they didn’t survive long enough for five to stumble upon them. anyways, ramble over, you can read now 😂

being the daughter of two people spontaneously born on the first of october in nineteen eighty-nine, you had been gifted with special abilities, just like them. they were able to teach you how to control it fully, and by the time you were thirteen, you were able to create an invisible barrier around yourself at will. at times, though, it still appeared on it’s own.

one of those times, it protected you at the end of the world. how you wished it hadn’t for the first few years. but you surprisingly weren’t the last person on the face of the earth.

you stood on the doorstep of your home- or what used to be your home. it had crumbled to the ground when the explosion wiped out the entire city, leaving a pile of rubble. it was surrounded by the other houses in the neighborhood, some of which still stood as the flames continued to burn.

this isn’t real.

you pinch your arm so hard that it stings for a few moments afterward, and you start shaking your head. “this isn’t real.” you tell yourself, voice shaking with the fear that this might not be a nightmare.

stepping back from your home, you turned on your heel to run to the closest house that hadn’t collapsed yet. mr and mrs peoples. you didn’t knock, bursting through the front door and rushing through each room that fire was beginning to engulf, searching for any sign of the old couple.

when you got up the stairs and to their room, you stopped dead in your tracks. on the bed, their charred bodies lay next to each other, and you feel your eyes beginning to sting- from the smoke and from what was happening.

the city.

there must be people in the city.

you dash down the stairs before they can collapse, sprinting out of the house and down the road as fast as you can. the route you’ve remembered from walking to school, the one that brought you through the crowded sidewalks.

by the time you get to the most populated part of the whole town you lived in, you’re out of breath, chest rising and falling quickly.

“help!” you shout as loud as you can, starting to walk through the streets, trying not to focus on the buildings that hadn’t made it. “please! there has to be someone.” the tears that had threatened you began to fall, running down your cheeks.

when you get farther down, you see what you think is a real, live person, searching the rubble surrounding him. but you can’t be sure. there’s smoke and your vision is blurry from your tears. “hey!” you shout, beginning to run towards the figure as fast as you can with your labored breathing.

he turns in your direction when he hears your voice, eyebrows raising in surprise. when you stop just before what used to be a building. “please-” you suck in a breath, “please tell me you’re real.”

he was the only reason you managed to survive. you knew now that you would never had made it this far without him.

ten years.

you’ve made it ten years so far, and the only reason the both of you keep going is each other- as well as his hope to find the right equation to get them back to their normal lives in twenty nineteen (and saving the world but that could be discussed later.)

until then, you could try your very best to make an almost normal life for yourselves.

after the first few years of moving across the city- and probably into other states as well, you couldn’t tell for sure- you had grown to have feelings for him. you didn’t know if it was because you two were the only ones left on earth, but you didn’t care. you wouldn’t want to choose anyone else to survive with.

eventually, after a few drinks to celebrate the finding of some wine, when your face was flushed with the alcohol in your system and your brain slightly fuzzy, you ended up kissing him.

the next morning, you woke up cuddled next to him, the empty bottle to your side. it brought butterflies to your stomach, and when he woke up after you, you had summoned the courage to tell him how you felt. you were lucky enough to know that he returned the affection.

you were nineteen then, only six years after the end of the world. and for another four years, you had been together.

on the third year of being together, pushing for survival, you found an old jewelry store.

you looked at the destroyed display cases, glass shattered and a few of them sinking to the ground. what this store looked like before the explosion, you didn’t know, but you could tell it’s purpose.

as you stepped over some fallen bricks, you look at the rotted wooden table that had once been surrounded by glass to keep people from attempting to steal what was inside.

there was surprisingly still jewelry left, some scattered across the ground and others that had managed to keep their place on display.

among the pieces, you see something shine in the sun light, buried in the bricks and dirt. after picking them up and brushing it off, you could see what the two pieces were. they were matching, two wedding bands in a smooth golden color. smiling, you stared at them for a moment.

looking up, your gaze traveled over the surrounding fallen buildings, before falling upon the man you were looking for, who searched for any food that may be buried somewhere nearby in the stone and brick nearby.

stepping over the bricks and onto the slightly cleaner streets that many people used to roam, you made your way to to where he searched.

you stayed on the street in front of the bricks that had somehow stayed in formation, creating some sort of a half-wall, watching him for a moment before glancing at the two rings in your hand.

“do you want to get married?” you call out, eyes squinted slightly from the sunlight and the strain to see him properly.

he turned at your voice, brushing his hands off on his pants. “what?”

grinning, you step over the wall. “i said,” you stop in front of him and reveal the bands, “do you want to get married?”

his eyes fall on the rings and he stays quiet for a moment, before he looks back to you, and your smile grows at the sight of his own.

“in the apocalypse?" he chuckles softly.

you shrug your shoulders. "we can't make it, like, official, but if we ever get back..." you press your lips together for a moment, "i think it'll have more meaning, since we found them here."

he seems to think about it for a moment, before he holds his hand out to you, and you clap your hands together from the joy you felt.

when you got stuck here at thirteen years old, you didn't think you'd have anything close to a normal life. but after a few years, you realized that you could try to make it as normal as possible for yourself.

you slide one of the rings onto his finger, the sun's light reflecting off of the gold. it's a silent moment, and you could feel your heart beating faster than usual.

once it is snug on his finger, he takes the other from you, taking your hand. "i never thought i'd be getting married in a wasteland."

chuckling, you watch as he gently puts the ring in it's rightful place. "i don't care where we get married. it would be perfect no matter what."

five looks into your eyes, and you know that you wouldn't have this any other way. as long as he was with you, you don't care where you are or what the situation is.

"i love you." you mumble quietly, bringing your hand to his cheek as you stare into his eyes.

"i guess i love you too."

you roll your eyes, moving the hand behind his neck to pull him into a loving kiss.

that’s what brought you to having with a giant bump in your belly.

what a great time to be pregnant, right?

when you found out (which took a while- you couldn’t really find any pregnancy tests and if you did you thought it was just some sickness and wouldn’t grab any), it was quite the surprise. you were terrified- who wouldn’t be?

how the hell are you going to have a baby in this world? there are so many things to think about.

like when the time finally comes for you to burst, what will you do? neither you or five had ever had a baby- you were thirteen when your normal life ended! no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t find any books, or something of the like, that would tell you at least vaguely what to do. so many stories, so many ‘how to’ books, yet nothing came up.

you couldn’t find anything to guide you and that scared you to no end.

so when a woman showed up, dressed properly in a clean, well fitted dress, speaking of some sort of organization that- well you didn’t listen to what they did, really, because you were focused on the fact that with this, you would be able to return closer to normal, and you wouldn’t have to do some sort of extreme home birth, without a home.

and so, the both of you joined her- the ‘handler’ as she called herself- going back to this place that she spoke of.

when you got there, you actually listened to what she had to say. they preserve the time continuum. explained simply, they eliminated people that threatened a change in what is meant to happen in the time line of events. you would be working for them, in return for going back to twenty nineteen after five years. back to the timeline where the apocalypse would still happen.

but five had a different idea of what would happen. here, you would make time for yourselves- you weren’t really going to stay in this world, only to go through the apocalypse. this time alone, because he wouldn’t be able to survive the blast that you did.

no. you would have your baby, and he would find a way to get you back. he would find the right equation. he wanted to save the world.

so, you worked for the commission.

even being pregnant, you wanted to work along his side, so you were trained with him to be the perfect assassins. that took a few months, so by the time it was all over, you had given birth to your little bundle of joy. (i’ll let you choose the gender and name, idc lol)

and after that, it was an uphill battle.

you finished your training, only to move straight into doing the missions assigned to you. going to different points in time to make the ‘corrections’, killing people with a baby strapped you your chest with a sling.

after getting ready, you sigh, looking at the baby who laid in the collapsible crib that you carried with you on these missions. you hated having to raise her in this situation- but it was way better than in the apocalypse. who knows if you would have even survived giving birth.

you put the baby sling on with the help of five, before carefully getting the baby in place. this had become routine over the last year.

so you set out for another mission, guns in hand as you headed off to the grassy field that would serve as your perch while waiting for the victim to show up.

while you set up the sniper, five was off to the side, scribbling in the book that he carried around everywhere, until you heard a gasp. “i got it!” he says in excitement.

turning your head, you raise an eyebrow, “what?”

“the equation!” he holds the book up to show you, open so you can see everything that had been scribbled inside over all this time. “i finally got it right.”

your lips part in surprise, and you’re silent for a moment while you think, “so we can-”

“-we’re going back home! we can save the world and finally have the life we’ve always wanted.”

a grin spreading across your face, you drop the gun on the ground, not caring about it one bit anymore. “well then, get on with it!” your urge as you run over to stand next to him.

he nods, handing the book to you before closing his eyes and focusing.

without much time, a portal-like anomaly begins to form, and when you look into it you can see what you assumed to be a back yard, and people running out of whatever building was next to it.

when his eyes opened, the smile on his face is wide. “are you ready?” he asks softly.

“as i’ll ever be.”

he grabs hold of your hand, and with the other you hold onto the baby, not wanting anything to happen to it- but you trusted five.

going through the portal was nauseating. you had traveled through time before, but then, it only turned your stomach over, since it was in the blink of an eye that you were transported. this, though, felt like you were being pulled through and spun around a million times, before you were finally spat out onto the ground in front of the group of people.

the impact from hitting the ground forces a grunt out of you as you hold onto the child. your keep your eyes squeezed shut a few moments longer, before you hear an unfamiliar voice.

“is it just me, or do you all see little number five?” you open your eyes to see the man who spoke.

“and a little girl with a baby? yeah.” allison’s eyebrows are raised, and her expression shows confusion at the sight before her.

your eyebrows furrow at the use of the word ‘little’, sitting up to look down at yourself to realize that you are, in fact, little. you’re back to the little thirteen year old girl who looked like she was actually from your time, who got stuck in an apocalypse.

you no longer look your age of twenty-six years old.

“what the hell!” you nearly scream, causing your little child to begin to cry, and you curse under your breath as you scramble to your feet, wrapping your arms around the baby in the sling as you begin to bounce slightly to soothe it.

well, you may look thirteen again, but at least you’re out of the hell you were living. once the world was saved, you can finally have the normal life you wanted.

tag lists

main: @horrorklaus @megasimpleplan4ever

tua: @rasberrymay @noodlextrash @atomicpillar @malfovs @andreasworlsboring101

five taglist: @anapocalypseinmymind @five-hargreeves-official @insatiable-ivy @coffee-e-addict @xplrreylo @fandomfreakff @colie-babi @flowertoty @avovada @badwolf00593

for this one shot: @alexander-hamilhoe

#tua #umbrella academy #five #five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #five x reader #the umbrella academy #tua x reader #umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy x reader #number five #number five x reader

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smaidjor · 3 years

Text

i know they're losing (chapter 3)

Hello everyone! Welcome back to your favorite(/j) hot mess of a fic. Sorry this chapter took a little longer to post, I thought I'd give you all a bit of time to recover from that last one. Plus, I was working on Scott's POV of this (which will be posted soon, don't worry!) Anyways, enjoy the fic!

(Once again obligatory disclaimer this is characters not people, don't ship real people, etc.)

(Also a disclaimer that I am not a medical professional and any medicine portrayed in this fic is likely inaccurate. Do not follow any medical procedures used in this fic, as I did absolutely 0 research to confirm any of this.)

Chapter Title: I turn at last to paths that lead home

Chapter Wordcount: 3214

Content warnings: blood, canon-typical violence

AO3 Link

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Actual fic under the cut:

The next morning dawns bright, sunny, and with a looming sense of unease that Jimmy can’t seem to shake. Scott’s ring feels heavy on his finger despite the resolution they reached yesterday, and he shifts anxiously as he waits for his husband to wake up. The sun’s well over the horizon and Scott still isn’t up, which only makes him more anxious. Usually, Scott’s an early riser. Today, though, he’s sleeping like the dead, and the scar on his throat doesn’t help the effect. Something is wrong. Jimmy doesn’t know how or why he knows it, but something is wrong and why is Scott still sleeping?

Finally, Jimmy can’t take it any longer. “Scott? Scott, wake up,” he whispers.

Nothing.

“Scott! Wake up!”

His husband is still firmly unconscious, and Jimmy’s heart leaps into his throat as he begs one more time. “Scott? Please?”

Scott rolls over and blinks at him, thank god, his voice coming out thick with sleep. “Five more minutes, darling.”

“I think something’s wrong,” Jimmy urges. “It feels wrong. Really wrong.”

That gets his love to sit up, rubbing at his eyes. There are still dark circles visible under them, and Jimmy gets a rush of guilt for waking him. “What is it?”

“I don’t know. It’s alright, go back to sleep.”

“No, no, I trust your gut.” Scott gets out of bed with only a slight stumble, sliding on his cloak in one graceful movement. “Let’s go look, and if it’s nothing then I’ll sleep more, okay?”

Jimmy nods, hurrying after him. “I have a really terrible feeling, Scott. Be careful, please.”

“I should be telling that to you.”

“Hey, I’ve gotten more careful!”

Scott laughs, looking more alive than he has in months, but quickly sobers again as they reach the front door. “You’re right, Jimmy. Something isn’t right.”

“I know, it feels awful!”

“Mhm.” Scott snatches up a frankly ridiculous axe from nearby, a shimmering pink monstrosity that’s twice the size of Jimmy’s head. “Stay behind me, just in case.”

The door creaks as it swings open, and the source of Jimmy’s unease becomes immediately clear.

Across the valley is the demon, standing next to Scott’s enchanting tower.

“That’s the demon!” Jimmy hisses, once he gets his racing heart under control. “Right there by the tower!”

Scott looks like someone just killed a cat in front of him, an odd sort of heartbreak flashing across his face before it’s replaced with determination. “That?”

“Yes!”

“Right. Okay. Jimmy, I need you to listen to exactly what I say right now. If I say get down, you get down. If I say run, you run and don’t look back no matter what you hear. Can you do that?”

Jimmy looks at the elf who very nearly broke his heart, and chooses to put that heart right back in Scott’s hands. “I trust you. If you say run, I’ll run.”

“Alright. Give me your engagement ring.”

“Wh-”

“Trust me. Please.”

Jimmy hands it over.

Scott slides it onto his finger. His hands are a little smaller than Jimmy’s, and it only fits on his right middle finger. Which would normally be cute, but right now Jimmy is just terrified. “Okay, Jimmy. I’m about to go out the front door, and when I do, I need you to go out the side door over there and run for the stables. When you get there, roll in the mud and then run for the village. Speed over stealth, corrupted elves track by smell and sound rather than sight.”

Jimmy nods.

“From there,” Scott continues, “I need you to track down an elf called Gilnar and tell them to lock down the kingdom and warn everyone of the danger. I also need you to tell them that Lord Smajor orders them to protect you.”

“What about you? Will you be okay?”

“I will, I promise.”

Jimmy knows Scott’s lying because Scott could never properly lie, not when it’s to Jimmy. He always looks away, no matter how steady his voice stays. Jimmy says nothing about it, but he grabs a spare sword and prays he’ll be quick enough to save Scott if it all goes downhill.

Scott hefts the axe. “Ready?”

Jimmy isn’t, but he nods. “Ready.”

Scott steps out the door, calling out something in some elven language that sounds like a challenge. At the same time, Jimmy bolts out the side door, sprinting for a low building which he thinks is the barn.

Somehow, he gets there without incident, and he throws himself into the mud without hesitation. The farrier gives him a deeply weird look, which Jimmy ignores in favor of sprinting for the village. The altitude means he’s out of breath by the time he gets there, hurrying inside the walls. The elves give him strange looks, a few seeming rather judgemental. Jimmy tries not to flush, remembering Scott’s instructions.

“Excuse me?” He asks the nearest elf. “I’m looking for uh, Gilnar?”

They stare him down, raising a single eyebrow. “For what reason?”

“Scott- Lord Smajor sent me.”

In the background, there’s a cry of pain, which thankfully sounds demonic rather than elven.

“Gilnar should be that way.”

“Thank you, uh, gentleperson!” Jimmy hurries that way, stopping another villager. “Are you Gilnar?”

The look he gets is even stranger. “Do I look like a captain of the guard to you? No. What do you want Gilnar for anyways?”

“Scott told me to find them.”

“Then that’s them over there,” the elf tells him, pointing out an incredibly short elf with neatly plaited brown hair.

“Thank you!”

Gilnar looks up at his approach, seemingly unbothered by the mud. “Lord Codfather, right? Scott sent ya?”

“He said to tell you to lock down the kingdom,” Jimmy reports faithfully. “He also said you should protect me, or something like that, but I don’t really need- I’ll be fine is the point.”

“Riiiiight. Calros!”

A tall elf appears behind them.

“Protect the codfather, Lord Scott’d be a bit put out if he died, I think. Alqualoth!” Another elf appears. “I need you to help me get everythin’ locked down.” With that, Gilnar hurries away, a few elves falling into formation behind them.

“So….this is awkward,” Calros, the tall elf, offers.

Jimmy ignores them in favor of running to the edge of the cliff the village is built on, trying to catch a glimpse of Scott. He’s rewarded only with the sight of his husband dueling a demon, which isn’t exactly what anyone wants to see at 8 o’clock in the morning. At least Scott doesn’t seem to be entirely overwhelmed, but the demon has far too much of the upper hand for Jimmy’s comfort.

“Whoa, whoa, let a girl catch up,” Calros yelps. She doesn’t seem very dignified for an elf, but Jimmy’s not very dignified for a human, so he understands. “So, uh...how’s Codland?”

Unfortunately for Calros and her well-meaning questions, at that moment, Scott starts screaming. It takes a moment for Jimmy to even register the sound as Scott’s voice; he’s never heard Scott scream before. It’s a high, broken noise, pure pain in every note as the demon pins Scott to the mountainside. Jimmy doesn’t think there’s anything he wouldn’t give to never have to hear that noise again, which is why he jumps the wall at the edge of the village.

“No, wait!” Calros yells.

Jimmy’s already gone, landing awkwardly on the other side. He hardly feels the pain of what’s surely a twisted ankle, sprinting for the scene of the fight. The sword flies into his hand, the gleam of enchantment shimmering bright. He doesn’t have a single second to think about what he’s doing as he opens his mouth to shout. “Hey, demon thing! Yeah, you! You’re ugly! And you probably smell bad!”

The being turns its head in a way that’s far too human for Jimmy’s comfort, and thank god, Scott stops screaming. “What did you say to me?” It hisses.

Jimmy’s heart is beating in his throat, palms sweaty as he scrapes together the few remaining bits of his courage. “I said you’re ugly! And you suck! Leave my husband alone!”

The demon loosens their hold, rage twisting their smile into something even more terrifying, and Scott backhands them across the face, kicking his way free. Jimmy watches as he struggles to his feet, the ring gleaming on his hand.

Scott cries something in some elven tongue, and the demon hisses.

He calls out another word, a command, and the ring glows with a light of its own as the demon is forced back, inch by inch. Finally, it flies backwards and vanishes entirely.

Scott sinks to his knees, cradling the hand with the ring on it, and Jimmy breaks into a run again.

“Scott! Scott!”

His husband looks up at him with haunted eyes, face bruised and battered, a little blood trickling down his brow. His teeth are bared, just a little sharp, and there’s something desperate about the way he whispers Jimmy’s name, his voice hoarse from screaming.

Jimmy kneels by him quickly, looking for any major injuries. “What’s wrong? Where- what’s hurt? I’ll fix it, I promise, I-” he’s cut off by Scott yanking him into a desperate hug, burying his face in Jimmy’s shoulder.

“Oh,” Jimmy says weakly. He wraps his arms around Scott in return, running a soothing hand up and down Scott’s back as he feels the elf tremble. “It’s alright, Scott, we’re alright.”

“Jimmy,” Scott says again. “Jimmy, I can’t.”

“I-”

“I want it to be over. I don’t want elves or nations or politics. I just want you.”

“I know, I know,” Jimmy soothes.

‘Why does it have to be me? It wasn’t supposed to be! It wasn’t supposed to be me!” Scott sounds almost angry, but the words quickly dissolve into incoherent sobs and fragments of sentences. “I- please- shouldn’t have- Jimmy. Jimmy.” He repeats Jimmy’s name over and over, hands clutching the fabric of Jimmy’s shirt, and Jimmy has never felt so helpless. All he can do is whisper empty comforts, kissing the top of Scott’s head and holding him close.

Elves have begun to surround them, varying looks of concern or disgust on their faces. Jimmy glares up at all of them, daring them to say something.

“Uh, milord?” Gilnar starts, and that’s the final straw.

“Give him a goddamn minute!” Jimmy snaps, rage bubbling up under his skin. “He just fought a demon for all of you, let the man rest! I know you’re all elves and you’re all- all elegant and composed or whatever, but you can’t expect someone to be perfect! We’re all human, you know!”

One of the elves gives him a look of disdain. “You are human, Codfather. We are not. Lord Smajor knew the responsibilities and difficulties of ruling.”

“He’s too young for this,” Jimmy thinks he hears someone mutter, but he’s too angry to bother paying attention.

“I- well I don’t think anyone could have expected a demon! And probably even less people’d be willing to fight one! Scott’s one of the bravest, kindest, smartest people I know, so lay off him, will you?”

“You know nothing of the affairs of elves,” the same elf sniffs.

Jimmy’s about to open his mouth and inform them that he knows about the affairs of being a decent person, for goodness sake, but he’s cut off by Scott raising his head, his sobs subsiding into ragged breathing. “It’s fine, Jimmy. They are correct, I do have responsibilities.”

“They can’t expect you to be perfect,” Jimmy argues, but there’s no dissuading Scott as he staggers to his feet.

“Gilnar, get the village out of lockdown and make sure people are aware of the threat of Xornoth. Celebear, search the library for any books on corruption of elves, and Lauriel, translate any you find that are not Sindarin into it. Elder council, I need research done on any rings of power that are strong enough to counteract Vilya to that degree, that will narrow down what Xornoth has. Now, the Codfather and I need to negotiate wool and fish trades,” Scott adds, grabbing Jimmy’s hand. Jimmy yelps, startled, as Scott drags him off with inhuman strength.

They make it up the hill and into Scott’s house before Scott slumps, collapsing into one of the kitchen chairs. “Well, fuck me to the End and back,” he groans.

“Are they always like that?” Jimmy asks, worried.

“Pretty much. Gilnar’s okay, just tough as shit, and so are Celebear and Lauriel, but...I wasn’t- well, I wasn’t meant to inherit Rivendell, and the Council of Elders takes every opportunity to remind me of that fact.”

“Oh. Who’s Xornoth?”

Scott laughs, a bitter, exhausted sound. “My twin, also known as the demon that’s been terrorizing you.”

At first, Jimmy thinks he’s misheard. “What?”

“My twin. My older sibling. The person who was supposed to inherit the throne of the elves.”

“What?”

Scott sighs. “Let me start from the beginning. My parents were two elven monarchs, one of the Sindar, and one of the Noldor. With other bloodlines mixed in, but the Sindar and Noldor is the important bit since those two groups haven’t always gotten along. Somewhere around fifty-five years ago, they started trying for kids. What they didn’t expect was that Xornoth and I are identical twins, only the fifth set of elven twins ever recorded.”

“Whoa.”

“Mhm. Xornoth was- is- technically the older one, who was always set to inherit the throne of the elves and unite our divided people. They were compared to Elrond, wise and powerful leader of another land named Rivendell far in the past, and I was Elros, his twin. Impulsive, snarky, human.” Scott closes his eyes, looking as if it pains him to talk about this. “Our parents died when we were both quite young, and we were brought up expecting Xornoth to take the throne as soon as they came of age. I spent my time hanging out with mortals, instead, getting involved in things like mcc and 3rd life.”

“Ohhh,” Jimmy says intelligently.

Scott nods tensely. “When I was the elven equivalent of seventeen or so, Xornoth gave me a ring. This ring, specifically,” he says, tapping Jimmy’s engagement ring. “Vilya, an elven ring of power. They told me to leave Rivendell and not return.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t know at the time, but they were being corrupted by a ring of their own, not to mention their own desire for power.” Scott’s voice shakes a little, and Jimmy takes his hand in comfort. “I returned after coming of age while away to find that Xornoth had fled and I was now the heir of Rivendell. Which absolutely no one wanted.”

“Why not? You’re amazing!” Jimmy protests.

“Remember when I told you that I’m not a very elven elf? That. I’m too human for their tastes, spend too much of my time with humans.”

“Well, I think you’re wonderful.”

Scott squeezes his hand tight, a faint, fond smile creeping onto his face. “Thank you, Jimmy. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jimmy replies, and then something Scott said catches up with him. “Wait. Scott?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Did you give me an elven ring of power for an engagement ring?”

“….Maybe.”

Jimmy’s torn between laughter and outrage. “Me! You gave me, little old Jimmy Solidarity, an elven ring of power?”

“You’re the most precious thing in my life. I gave you everything I could offer.”

Jimmy flushes immediately, feeling his cheeks heat with the compliment. It’s not fair that Scott can make him lose all his remaining braincells with just a simple sentence, it really isn’t! “Stop that!”

“Stop what?” Scott asks innocently.

“Saying that stuff and giving me that look, you know what I mean! That soft one that- that makes me all blushy and stuttery!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He’s smirking. He definitely knows exactly what he’s doing, and Jimmy would hate him for it if he was even capable of hating Scott.

“I’m trying to scold you for giving me a ring of power that’s super important, stop- stop flirting, for goodness sake!”

“You’re hot when you’re flustered, though.” The charming words would be a lot more effective if Scott didn’t also choose that moment to try and wipe the blood off his forehead, only succeeding in smearing blood everywhere and reminding Jimmy to be worried about him.

“Let me get that,” Jimmy offers, looking around for a rag. Scott patiently lets him fuss, and Jimmy dabs at the cut with a wet rag and bandages it carefully. He moves on to cleaning out smaller cuts and scrapes, then the bruises, handing Scott some ice to put on the largest ones. Even then, he’s not fully satisfied until he makes Scott count backward from 100 to prove he hasn’t hit his head too hard.

“Ninety-two, ninety-one, I swear I’m fine, Jimmy, ninety, eighty-nine, eighty-eight, eighty-seven, I literally explained elven rings of power to you, eighty-six, eight-five, can I stop counting now?”

“No.”

“Jimmyyyyyyyy,” Scott whines.

“Just a bit more? For me?” It’s a dirty trick, but Jimmy gives him the puppy dog eyes that he knows Scott can’t say no to.

He’s rewarded with a long-suffering sigh and “Fine. Eighty-four, eighty-three, eighty-two…”

Jimmy makes him count all the way down to seventy and then multiply together thirteen and twelve before he’s satisfied, ignoring Scott’s complaining about having to do math so early in the morning.

“I can’t believe my own husband made me do math.”

Jimmy laughs and bops him on the nose. “I’ll make breakfast to make up for it?”

“You better!” Scott says, but he’s smiling too.

Jimmy makes them both pancakes, firmly ignoring the lingering fear from the demon attack, not to mention all the revelations from this morning. Those are problems for future Jimmy. Present Jimmy is going to scold his husband for sneaking bits of pancake batter (“It doesn’t even taste good, Scott!”) and drink hot chocolate in a beautiful little kitchen with the love of his life. None of that demon nonsense, no thank you. Just hot chocolate and pancakes and the sound of Scott’s laughter as he teases Jimmy about smelling like fish. Which is a perfectly fine smell, thank you very much, Scott, why are you laughing?

Every so often, he pauses and admires the bracelet that’s still on his wrist, running his fingers over the elegantly shaped flowers. This must have taken Scott so long to make, and he did it all for Jimmy. He gave Jimmy a ring of power, for goodness sake! Jimmy doesn’t think he’ll ever be over the thrill of how it feels to be so loved and to know it, too. To know Scott loved him back in 3rd life and loves him now and will love him for the rest of Jimmy’s mortal lifespan and beyond. He can’t quite wrap his head around it, honestly, but it’s not a bad thing, not at all. How could having Scott in his life ever be a bad thing? He thinks- knows, as well as he knows his own self- that whatever happens next, he and Scott can face it together.

#scott smajor #jimmy solidarity #empires smp #my writing

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district2001 · 4 years

Text

First Official Meeting

Seventeen AU: 14th member

Jangmi x Seventeen

Recap: Jangmi’s first time meeting Seventeen as a member

Words: 1.3k

Requests are OPEN: Please please please send me what you want to see from Jangmi. I’m also open to feedback :)

To say Jangmi was terrified was a big understatement. Every second she was getting closer to walking into the dance studio to meet Seventeen. Sure she had met them before, but this would be different. She would be joining their group, AS THE ONLY GIRL.

Maybe Seungcheol could sense her nervousness, as he grabbed her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. As soon as she looked up towards him, he quickly let go, coughed, and awkwardly started walking ahead of her.

Jangmi chuckled. Clearly he was trying figure out the dynamic that they were going for. She’d give him time. This whole mess would take a while for them to get used to.

She’d also have to figure out her dynamic with he rest of them aswell. Surely she could act the same as she had all this time, probably talk to the other members more. She couldn’t just hang out with the younger ones, Josh and Jun.

The younger members of Seventeen had all joined the same year she had, meaning that they got to experience their first Christmas showcase together, as well as get used to how everything run at Pledis. Even though she had joined the latest out of the 3, they had all become really good friends.

Josh and Jun were her Korean class buddies, and they often spent heaps of time going over new, funky words together. Sometimes even figuring out ways to cheat in the test. Jangmi remembered back to their test on flowers and insects, which she had deemed as useless. Clearly not anymore.

There was also the new Chinese member, who she had met, during her visit last winter. Jun had told her about how he embarrassed himself infront of Minghao and spat all over the boys face. She had sat next to him a few times in lessons, but he seemed pretty shy and didn’t carry the conversation further. She’d have to try and make him talk to her , if they were going to be stuck together in a group.

Soon they were standing outside the dance studio, and before Jangmi processed what was happening, Seungcheol had already open the door and pushed her in. A true gentleman. If she had known him more, she would’ve called him an asshole, but unfortunately not today.

When she regained her balance, she was met with the stares of 12 slightly sweaty boys. Instinctively, she moved closer to Seungcheol, hiding behind him. She had no idea why, she was friends with him.

Seungcheol clapped his hands together, then pushed Jangmi out next to him. “You know how the CEO wanted us to add a female member. Well, this is Jangmi. Kind of pointless me introducing her, since all of you know her.”

“Anneyonghaseyo. I’m Jangmi.” She bowed, not wanting to seem rude, despite knowing all the boys. “I’m from Australia and I’m mainly a rapper, wait no… sorry I’m now a dancer.”

She awkwardly laughed, quickly glanced at all the members, looking for signs of annoyance in their eyes. Thankfully, there was none- only an eyeroll from Seungkwan.

“Wait, you’re not going as Jisoo or Rydel?” Chan asked, genuinely curious to why she had changed her name.

“No. Since it’s Shua’s Korean name it would be weird to call her that. The company thought of Jangmi.” Seungcheol jumped in, before she could answer.

“I liked Rydel though” Vernon chimed in. “It has like 80’ vibes.”

“Well, you’re the only one who can pronounce it properly” Mingyu added with a hint of sass.

She noticed The8 whispering to Jun. She hoped he wasn’t saying anything rude about her. Probably asking what the heck a girl was doing in their boygroup. Jun must have noticed she was looking their way. “He just asked me what Jangmi meant. Rose yea?”

Jangmi nodded. The chatter in the group had stopped, and she knew that she would start rambling soon if someone didn’t approach her or start talking

Luckily Seungkwan must have noticed that no one was going to initiate the conversation and pulled her closer to him. “See I told you that you would debut. I told you we’d make it together.”

‘You told me that thinking I’d go to another company after I didn’t make the lineup for the girlgroup. You told me I was JYP material.”

“Same thing”

Hansol jumped in, by ruffing her hair. “2012 trainees stick together.”

“I genuinely cannot believe I’m going to debut.” Jangmi quietly squealed. It was slowly hitting her that she would be achieving her dream. She had kept her composure in the meeting, but she could only hold it in for so long.

“Well believe it!” Mingyu yelled from near the speakers. She had even realised the group had slowly dissipated from their circle.

“I’ve been believing it for like 3 years, and it’s finally happening.” Seungcheol added. Jangmi hadn’t even realised but he had shifted from beside her to the other members in the middle of the room.

“Don’t jinx it. We might have to wait another year again.” Woozi sneered, causing Jun to start laughing.

It was company knowledge that Seventeen had been on the verge of debuting for years. They record a song, some shit happens, they loose a member. They prepare again, the universe fucks them over again, they loose a member. And the cycle continues. Coming back every Winter meant that Jangmi was always seeing new faces, as well as missing some old ones.

She cleared her throat. “Have you guys decided on your debut song? The CEO said it’s not going to be Shining Diamond?”

“Nah. Apparently it’s not good enough for us to debut with.” Woozi defeatedly replied. Jangmi realised at that moment, that it probably wasn’t a great idea bringing up their shortcomings.

“It’s ok though, since Woozi hyungs’ written an absolute banger.” Seungkwan cheered, trying to lift up the sudden somber mood.

“We need you to quickly record your lines, so then we can start working on the choreo.” Dino chimed, walking over to Wonwoo, who was very focused on picking his nails.

Jangmi made a mental note to avoid him for a bit, since he hadn’t really said anything about her joining the group.

“Ok! Will do. I’m sorry you guys can’t start the dance until I’m done with my parts.” She bowed again. She wanted to make a good impression, and get everyone to like her.

“Stop bowing” Hoshi yelled, walking towards her. “You’re under my wing now, and as your unit leader I’m going to make sure that our debut is going to be perfect.”

“We’re going to be massive.” Seungkwan yelled, causing Vernon to quiet him down.

It was too late, the damage had been done.

“We’re gonna get so many music show wins.” DK shouted, raising his fist.

“We’re going to be monster rookies” Jeonghan screamed.

“We will be Daesang Winners!” Hoshi roared.

“Look guys, shouldn’t we actually debut first before taking over the world. Just a suggestion.”

Seungcheols’ soft tone was quite a contrast from the excess noise of her teammates, causing Jangmi to snicker.

“Shouldn’t we show our new maknae one of our dances?” Dino asked, causing all the boys to walk into their formation.

“You’re going to fit in perfectly.” Joshua quickly came over and placed his sweaty arms over her shoulder. “Seriously, if you need any help, just let me know. Don’t be shy to ask.” He quietly whispered in English, before joining the rest of them

Jangmi nodded in confirmation, a warm sensation of happiness filling her chest. She had just been formally put into the group, but they were already looking out for her.

Previous: Debuting with 13 Boys?

Next: Leader Maknae Date

#seventeen #svt #seventeen oc #svt oc #seventeen imagine #seventeen au #svt au #svt imagine #kpop oc #kpop female oc #Jangmi SVT OC #seventeen 14th member #kpop

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nellied-reviews · 4 years

Text

Cigarette Candy Re-listen

Okay, it’s episode 5 of my epic Wolf 359 re-listen, and that can only mean one thing:

Cigarette Candy

In which Eiffel is ill, Minkowski and Hera are out of the picture and I have way too many thoughts about how Hilbert is totally not making Eiffel sick. Nuh-uh.

Where do I even begin with this episode?

Maybe I'll start with the obvious: Cigarette Candy is a very different episode on a re-listen. It was a sinister, tense episode to begin with, sure. But knowing that Hilbert really has been making Eiffel sick adds a whole layer of uncertainty, for me at least.

Because what is the point? Largely, I think it's an episode about whether or not Hilbert can be trusted. We heard last episode, after all, that the good doctor was willing to leave Eiffel to die in space. It's natural that we might now wonder where his loyalties lie. And so we get this, an episode that teases us with the idea that Hilbert might, in fact, be a bad guy. And of course, the answer we are left with, at the end of the episode, is that no, Hilbert’s creepy and weird and a million kinds of unethical, but ultimately he is one of the good guys.

It's a brilliant misdirect, and it relies entirely on us misunderstanding what an evil Hilbert would look like. We, like Eiffel, assume that Hilbert, if he were actually evil, would be the archetypical mad scientist. And mad scientists aren't generally subtle. They certainly don't do regular things like help Communications Officers overcome the flu. And so we assume, since Hilbert isn't cartoonish in his villainy, and does, ultimately, help Eiffel, that he mustn't be a villain at all. We're wrong, of course. The episode doesn't give that away, though.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Because as Cigarette Candy starts, it's not immediately clear that that's where this is all going. Instead, we tune in to a weirdly happy Eiffel, who claims he's trying a new, more optimistic approach to life. It's odd, and doesn't exactly bode well, especially with the occasional, gross coughing that Eiffel insists is no big deal. But it still feels like a light-hearted, comedy set-up. And hey, at least Hilbert seems to be doing something helpful, this time, right?

Of course, it's worth mentioning that Hilbert's "help" involves the titular cigarette candy, which are what Eiffel calls his nicotine lozenges. These, we quickly learn, are the reason for Eiffel's new, sunny outlook on life. They're sugary, they're soothing and - oh, yeah - they taste like "day-old ashtray". Which... eww! But apparently Eiffel prefers that to the default cinnamon? Enough that he's consuming them in unwise quantities? I don't know, it certainly wouldn't be my choice. But you do you, Eiffel.

In any case, it leaves us in this weird situation where Hilbert is actually in Eiffel's good books, which is fun to listen to, until the doctor suddenly lets slip that hey, Eiffel, it's strange how you aren't experiencing any myalgia... yet.

It's super unsubtle, and part of me really wants to believe that Hilbert did it on purpose, just to troll Eiffel. "English such inelegant cudgel of a language", my ass. I see you there, Doc.

Funny as it is, though, it also marks the point at which the episode takes a sharp U-turn into psychological and medical horror, as Eiffel slowly begins to suspect that Hilbert has been poisoning him. Things only get worse when Eiffel faints and is taken to sickbay, and when Hilbert admits that he's not really a proper doctor, bound by all of those pesky ethics, it's downright chilling.

One phrase in particular, I think, tells us everything we need to know about Alexander Hilbert's motivations: "Always saw Hippocratic Oath as leaving one with a very limited scope. True science mustn't be so severely hindered." Hilbert, in the end, is all about the science, and he'll break the rules to get results, if needs be. It's a single-minded, pragmatic focus that we’ll see from the doctor over and over again as the show wears on. Here, then, although we don't know it yet, we're actually getting our first proper insight into what makes Dr. Hilbert tick. Pretty neat.

That said, on a first listen-through, before we learn about Decima, it just sounds like your standard mad scientist rant. It's followed up by some more mad scientist antics too, as Hilbert confines Eiffel to sickbay, ties him up and claims total authority over Eiffel's schedule, cutting him off completely from Hera and Minkowski. It's textbook nefarious, and so it sets Hilbert up perfectly as a properly sinister, if slightly cliché villain.

Of course, it's also just about plausible. We can just about see how confining Eiffel might help him get better soon, and we can just about see that he's not fit to be working, and we can just about see how a lack of distractions might be helpful. Add Eiffel's potential delusions into the mix, and we can see how the whole business could just be a misunderstanding, a product of Eiffel's fever and Hilbert’s lack of people skills. We can't 100% write the doctor off as a villain - and so the episode manages to maintain the tension, all the way through the back end of the episode. Is Hilbert really as evil as he seems? Or is Eiffel imagining it all?

It's at this point that the first season's log format works in our favour, because if we're only hearing the personal logs of Douglas Eiffel, we're only getting the story from one very limited, potentially delusional point of view. We aren't getting Minkowski or Hera's more balanced perspectives, and so the suspense is preserved - is Hilbert trustworthy? We can't know. It's the sort of thing the show won't be able to do as easily in later seasons, at least not without finding a plot-related reason to side-line the other, more objective characters. Here, though, the nature of Eiffel's logs creates a more claustrophobic, tense bottle episode, where we can never quite be sure what's going on.

The absence of Hera and Minkowski is also ominous in and of itself. The pause after Eiffel calls out to Hera and she doesn't answer, in particular, is really eerie, at least for me. I don't know, I guess I'm just used to Hera being there? It certainly cranks up the tension, especially when Hilbert foils Eiffel's attempt to contact Minkowski, and even more so when he reveals that he also knows that Eiffel hasn't been taking his drugs - that's why he's been giving him them intravenously.

And look, I know we've said that Hilbert isn't bound by the Hippocratic Oath. Being shady and unethical's kind of his thing. But can we just stop and appreciate just how messed up it is to drug Eiffel like this? It's not even like it's the first time this has happened, either. Remember the halothane gas? What we're seeing, in that light, looks more like an emerging pattern - a pattern of incidents where people are messed with, physically or psychologically, without their consent.

It's something we'll see again and again, throughout Wolf 359, and more often that not, it's linked less to individuals like Hilbert, and more to Goddard Futuristics, and their general ethos of dehumanising callousness. Hilbert is possibly evil, sure. But he's backed up by a whole, sucky-ass corporation, who have created an environment where consent - and all of the respect for human dignity and life that that implies - is not encouraged or valued. It's a gross, corporate attitude that is linked directly to moments like this, where Eiffel can be drugged and held captive against his will precisely because Hilbert knows there will be no official consequences for it. Goddard Futuristics do not care about human minds or bodies. They just care about the profits. It's not the same thing that drives Hilbert, as a character. But it aligns with his goals. Hilbert wants answers. Goddard wants money. Neither care much for actual humans.

That's actually one of the most frightening things about this episode - that, and the recording that Eiffel makes for Minkowski, urging her not to trust Hilbert once he's dead, which is funny, in a dark sort of way, until you think about Lovelace's old crew, and how Dr. Hilbert - sorry, Dr. Selberg - picked them off, one by one. That's essentially the exact same scenario that Eiffel's imagining here, when he worries about Hilbert going after Minkowski next, so perhaps he's not too far off the mark. Yikes.

Still, all is well in the end, as Hilbert reveals that Eiffel is cured! The knife was only for cutting Eiffel's restraints - way to not terrify your patient, doc! - and now Eiffel is cleared for duty, effective immediately. Phew!

It's a relief, for Eiffel and for us, and it's very easy to just see it as a heart-warming ending. The mad scientist turns out to be a good guy after all, Eiffel learns a lesson about judging people, and everyone goes back to their routine. Crisis averted. The episode asks, "Can Hilbert be trusted?" The ending tells us that he can. Case closed.

Only it's not that simple, is it? For one, Hilbert admits that Eiffel was infected with a tropical flu from his lab; knowing how much we now know, how likely is it that that "tropical flu" was actually Decima, or somehow Decima-related? In this respect, Hilbert's trustworthiness is actually far from established.

Secondly, though, and perhaps more interestingly, there's also the idea that Hilbert might have genuinely cured Eiffel, but might still be up to no good. A dead Eiffel, after all, means no more Decima research, and that would be a disaster for Hilbert. Keeping the crew alive and healthy is in Hilbert's best interests, and so, to a degree, he is actually trustworthy, or at least reliable. In fact, Hilbert is probably one of the most reliable characters in the series, if only because he can always be trusted to protect his own interests. Unlike the others, whose goals sometimes shift, and whose actions are often determined by their emotions or their underlying characters, Hilbert almost never acts in such a way as to compromise his goals and his work. His focus is single-minded, and it makes him very, very reliable - trustworthy, almost. But good? Ethical? Not so much. It's at best a parody of integrity, a twisted, brutal code that doesn’t care much for other people.

The story, I think, is more interesting for it. Instead of a story about how Hilbert secretly has a heart of gold, we get a more unsettling story about how Hilbert can be relied on, but only to a certain extent. Instead of a story about a good person being good, it's the story of a bad person doing good - and that is infinitely more compelling.

And of course, all this is only really obvious in hindsight. Listening to it blind, we get an episode that is funny, tense and just about the right kind of creepy. It's simultaneously the darkest thing the show has done so far, an excellent black-humour-filled bottle episode and (almost) a heart-warming tale. To have that and all the bonus, retrospective Hilbert characterisation?

*shakes my head*

This episode, man.

Miscellaneous thoughts:

I said already but cigarette candy sounds so gross!

Zach Valenti does such a good job of sounding properly, horribly ill throughout this whole episode

"Officer Eiffel, you look terrible." Aww, no need to sugar-coat it, doc!

"You're not making me sick, are you?" "What possible reason could there be for doing that?" *whistles innocently*

Ugh when Hilbert says "Good night!" like that :O

Heh, the ticking clock in the background when Hilbert gets the kife out is a nice little touch

"Bedside manner is like anaesthetic. It just gets in way of what needs to be done."

#wolf 359 #wolf359 #w359 #wolf 359 relisten #cigarette candy #nellied reviews #so many thoughts about Alexander Hilbert #too many thoughts about Alexander Hilbert #but at least I posted them on the right blog this time

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yoondoze · 4 years

Text

if | myg

letter #1 | letter #2 | letter #3

listen to: the 1975 - anobrain

wc: 1.5k

a/n: please pay close attention to the formatting as to not get confused. last part up at noon est on friday

"Dear Y/N,

There are lot of things that scare me.

Heights, insects, rollercoasters with loops in them. Jump scares make my heart stop, closed and small spaces steals the breath from my lungs.

But nothing has ever scared me more than that day on the lake.

That was the day I thought you were going to die. Little did I know, huh?

We were sixteen then, tubing like we did every summer at my parent's lake house. We were on the pancake tube, the red and black one that could start flying if it got enough wind under it. It was also the one that flung you off like a torpedo into the water on a wrong landing.

The waters were choppy that day. We went out of our neck of the lake and more toward the dam, where all the water traffic was. My dad was slinging us through wake after wake of every other boat he could see, making sharp lefts and rights so no matter how much we leaned, we still skidded out of his own. It was terrifying but every scream of yours was followed by laughter.

It wasn't one that we even saw coming that flipped us over. We were out of the wake and flying across the surface. Maybe it was the clashing of the waves beneath the surface, maybe it was the will of the universe, but we got enough air that the bottom went topside and we hit the water.

Going under felt like I was in a washing machine, disoriented as you're tossed around and water shoots up your nose. Eventually, I bobbed up to the surface. Once I got my hair out of my face, I spun around the look for you, expecting to see you floating somewhere within my vicinity like you usually did. I spun and spun, but I couldn't see you anywhere."

Yoongi's parents were swinging back around to pick the two of you up. Yoongi kicks to reach his head further out of the water to try and spot if you somehow ended up further away. And then, he sees something that sends chills down his spine.

Your life jacket. Without you in it.

"I'm no swimmer, but I'm sure my time could have beaten a world record that day."

At this point, they noticed and were yelling for you too. Yoongi splashes over to it in a frenzy. It was unbuckled and absolutely soaked. He takes a big breath and dives under, going deep until the pressure hurts his ears, until his hands scrape the sludge of the lake bed. He can't see a thing.

"I thought you had drowned."

He only comes to the surface when he can barely hold his breath any longer. Tears pool in his eyes as he struggles to breathe properly. Does he go back under? Does he wait? Does he call out some more?

"And by some miracle, whether that be god or fate or pure, unadulterated luck, you bobbed to the surface ten feet away from me."

You gasp for air, nearly turning blue in the face. You cough and sputter, treading water as best as you can, but alive. Yoongi's relief is instant as soon as he meets your open, seeing eyes.

You throw your arms around him as soon as he's within reach and though he struggles with your weight, he's just glad you aren't dead.

He pulls you onto the boat with the help of his mother, speeding back to the dock to get you to the hospital as quickly as possible.

Later on, you say you can only remember hitting the water and then surfacing, hardly able to breathe. The doctors say you must have hit your head too hard, and then confirm it when your scans come back showing a concussion. Within the next few weeks, you recover just fine.

"You were okay, and that's all I cared about. Because for a second, I thought you were gone. It's the worst feeling I've ever had.

Yet funny enough, you went again the next year.

That was the first time I realized our lives were finite, and we didn't have forever. As a kid, you believe that you're unbreakable and you have all the time in the world in front of you. But you could have died that day just as easy as it is to think that.

I think it was after that day that I started to fall in love with you. Or realize it, anyway.

I paid closer attention, maybe at first because I was so worried, but it was one of those things where I began to notice all the little things you did that I never noticed before.

Your expression when you would braid your hair in the mirror. Your smile when you talked to strangers in line with us at the grocery store. Your excitement when talking about that new movie, or book, or show, or song. I didn't always care for them, but I cared for the way you cared for them.

Also, I had a soft spot for the way you got along so easily with my family."

Yoongi is just stepping out of the shower when he hears your voice.

It's undeniably you - he's heard it every day for the past five years and could recognize it in any lifetime, but he tunes in more than ever these days. He just has to wonder: What are you doing here if you're not in his company?

His bare feet pad on the hardwood floors, messily towel drying his black strands as he enters the kitchen. There, he finds his mother guiding you through photo albums upon photo albums, and what he soon deducts be his baby photos.

"Nice of you to join us!" His mother says.

You look up at him with a grin on your face and look back to the face underneath your fingertip.

"He was so cute back then," you say.

Yoongi rolls his eyes though your compliment makes him giddy on the inside. He expects a snarky follow up such as, "What happened?"

Instead, you say, "Still is."

He tries to ignore the fluttering of his heart when your eyes flicker up to meet his. He tells you to shut up jokingly, because he doesn't know what else to do. Fortunately, you just chuckle at him. You always know what to take to heart and what not to. You're probably the only person who can.

"The day it actually struck me, though, was the first time I let you put makeup on me. Willingly. It sounds silly, I know, but I remember being really hesitant at the start and then loving it."

"Okay, keep your eyes open and don't blink," you say, holding his chin steady with one hand while your pinky rested just below his cheekbone. Slowly, and with practiced precision, you sketch out a dark line with the eye pencil in hand.

"Not only were you really good at it, as everything you did was equally cool yet wholly different, but I liked having the excuse to look at you for so long. Your personal bubble is relaxing and warm."

Yoongi breathes steadily through his nose, sitting as still as possible on the edge of your vanity bench. His eyes are trained on you, following the natural curve of your lashes, the slope of your nose, the arch of your brow. The way you pull your bottom lip into your mouth in concentration, the way your eyes squint for a mere second in self-critique.

When you pull back, your jaw drops in surprise at your work.

"That looks really nice on you."

"Sometimes I try to put on eyeliner when I'm bored and missing you a little more. It never turns out as good as when you did it, but it's oddly comforting."

He turns to the small mirror on your desk, checking both sides of his face. Slightly blushed, a little glitter on his lids. It's simple, but he digs it. It's fitting to his eye shape and makes him look cool and edgy. He hopes you think so too.

"Maybe it was just being so close to you, but I started thinking about you pretty you were. Your eyes, your hair, your lips. And then I thought about your pretty personality. And your pretty heart. And I sighed and thought, "Wow, this is so nice... I love this... I love... her."

That internal progression was just so normal, it took me a second to realize the epiphany I had accidentally stumbled upon. You were right in front of me - literally. The best thing was that I didn't feel heavy or guilty or upset about it. I didn't mind it at all, because it was you.

And for once, I thought that loving someone didn't have to be hard."

#yoongi angst #yoongi drabble #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi scenario #bts angst #bts drabble #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts scenario #yoongi fanfic #bts fanfic #yoondoze

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queeruma · 5 years

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Okay, so an anon sent me this ask:

Can I ask if canon materials say anything about Uma and Ursula’s relationship? Do you have hcs about it? I never read the third Descendant book so I don’t know much about her

and I wrote up this post, posted it, immediately realised that tumblr had fucked up all the formatting, deleted it, and then realised that by deleting it I’d also deleted the ask. I’m sorry anon, my brain is not functioning properly, but here’s my answer, hopefully formatted correctly this time:

Hi anon! So I thought I could answer this in like 10 minutes, and then it turned out that I have a Lot of thoughts about Uma and Ursula’s relationship, and here we are almost two days later (this post kind of just turns into Uma hcs at the end sorry about that)

Yes, between the movie, Rise, and Uma's Wicked Book, there's actually quite a lot of information about Uma and her mother.

Under a cut because this got long:

Within the actual text: Uma's relationship with her mother is… complicated, to say the least.

On the one hand, Ursula is about as far from a loving, caring mother as one can get. She has been forcing Uma to work for her, without pay, since Uma was 'so little she could barely see about the counter'. She is verbally abusive, berating Uma and humiliating her over her losses to Mal, and we see in the film that she's not above harming Uma physically either. And Uma seems certain when she's speaking to Ben that her mother does not care for her at all.

"All those days spent working at Ma’s restaurant, serving up gruel and scrubbing the floors, and I’ve never gotten paid a coin.” - UWB “Uma had worked at the Fish and Chips Shoppe her entire life, from when she was so little she could barely see above the counter, until she was old enough to wear an apron, carry a tray, and take an order.” - ROTIOTL “Uma was glad to have the place to herself. If Ursula were around, she would only be raging and complaining about how she had been saddled with such an ungrateful and useless daughter. Ursula never ceased to remind Uma how often she’d lost to Mal. When she’d learned Mal had been chosen to go to Auradon, Ursula flipped her tentacles. Uma never heard the end of it.” - ROTIOTL “Things I wouldn’t miss about the Isle: (...) Ma yelling at me” - UWB “My mom doesn’t care about me either. Well, not unless she needs someone for the night shift.” - D2

On the other hand, we see a certain level of respect between the two of them. Uma seems to be proud of her mother's strength, and is very comfortable showing her heritage as 'daughter of the sea witch'. Despite her mother's treatment of her, we never see Uma being afraid of her mother (contrast with the core four in the first movie, who definitely are). Uma remembers her mother taking her to Hook's inlet to watch the crocodile wrestling, and (repeatedly) telling her the story of her defeat at Eric and Ariel's hands. She states that her mother taught her about the importance of negotiation. Ursula, lamenting over her loss in her final battle, tells Uma that they would be 'Queens of the Seas' if she'd won. Given that unlike most of the villains, Ursula doesn't seem to be trying to manipulate Uma into anything in particular, I take this to mean that Ursula would have given her daughter what she felt was her due.

And, most importantly, Ursula has one single piece of her nautilus necklace left when she's on the Isle, and she gives it to Uma when Uma is a small child. Uma likes to hold it when she's feeling anxious. There's clearly more than just antagonism between them.

‘Uma was special: she was the sea witch’s daughter, a force to be reckoned with!’ - ROTIOTL 'The gold was warm against her skin, and she felt a faint echo of its former power. It had the sense and shape of her mother's wrath.' - ROTIOTL “No, last I saw her was on the news when she was blasting you with her magic!” Ursula laughed. “Good for her!” - EFTIOTL “That’s my mom! At least Maleficent recognised her power.” - MSB ‘“Mama was really something, wasn’t she? Back then?” said Uma.’ - ROTIOTL “Ma used to take me down to Hook’s Inlet when I was a kid, and we’d bet on the crocodile-wrestling matches there.” - UWB 'She recalled her mother telling her about that final battle (…) Prince Eric had taken the wheel and rammed his ship right into her heart (…) Uma always held her breath at that part of the story, wondering how it was that her mother had survived such a battle. Because even though she'd lost, she'd survived. Prince Eric hadn't destroyed her completely.' - ROTIOTL ‘Her mother had taught her about the power of negotiation, or as she’d described it, talking someone out of their greatest treasures and giving nothing of value in return.’ - ROTIOTL 'Queens of the seas, Ursula would lament. We would be queens of the seas if not for that awful Triton and that terrible Beast.' - ROTIOTL ‘(...) the locket she wore around her neck. Inside was a tiny piece of junk that her mother had given her as a child. “It’s all I have left,” Ursula had said at the time. Uma never understood why a sliver of metal mattered so much, but she liked holding it when she was anxious.’ - ROTIOTL

I think Uma's outfits also say a lot about her relationship with her mother. The core four pretty much exclusively wear their parent's colours, even after they've rejected them. We already know that colour means a lot in these movies, considering the thought they put into the shades of purple in Mal's hair and clothes in D1. Every VK either wears their parent's colours - Harry, Celia and the core four - or they don't resemble their families at all - Gil and Dizzy.

Uma's purple undertone, her hair and skirt resembling octopus arms, and the mesh undershirt with holes that mimics octopus suckers are all there to reflect her status as Ursula's daughter. She's proud of her heritage - but there's probably a practical reason as well: there's an element of protection in reminding people of her mother.

However, I think it's telling that her main aesthetic and colour are all her own. The pirate hat, the tough leather jacket complete with epaulets, the chunky belts, her sword, and the overall teal theme, all make it very clear that Uma is her own person, and no one who looks at her is going to forget it. She's not going to ride by on her mother's reputation all her life - people will know her name, not just her parentage.

Her symbol also demonstrates this mix of nature and nurture. Mal, Evie, Carlos, Jay, Harry, and Gil all have symbols that refer directly to their parents (Gil signs off UWB with a bow and arrow, presumably a reference to his father's skill at hunting). In contrast, the skull and crossbones - crossbones in this case being a trident and sword - with a wave in one cheek, an eyepatch, and octopus arms below it is 'the unofficial symbol of Uma, daughter of Ursula - pirate queen'.

As far as headcanons are concerned, I can’t really list them? I just have a kind of general ‘this is how Ursula affected the way Uma’s life went’ hc:

I think all of Uma’s better memories of her mother are from her very early childhood. By the time Uma and Mal stop being friends, Ursula has already pretty much checked out of everything; I don’t think she ever tries to manipulate Uma in the way Maleficent and the other villains do their children. She leaves the work in the shoppe to Uma and retreats into her Auradon soap operas. Uma is used to seeing other parents on the Isle put effort into their relationships with their children (that is never actually a Good Thing but baby Uma doesn’t know what decent parenting is) and she wonders if Ursula’s lack of manipulation is her mother neglecting her because she sees her as worthless.

So Uma kind of decides that she’s going to be as independent as possible, because if she makes her distance from her mother her choice, she doesn’t have to confront the possibility that Ursula is neglecting her because Uma isn’t good enough for her. And because I loathe the canon Uma and Mal backstory with the passion of an anti-vax parent for essential oils, here’s my take on it (credit for the idea that Maleficent encouraged Mal to end their friendship goes to @edream93 in her wonderful fic ‘We’ll Light the Fuse’ - it partly inspired this hc):

Uma and Mal were good friends from a very young age, and there was some genuine affection and trust between them, which Maleficent obviously did not approve of at all.

She allowed it for a while because they did get into a lot of trouble together, but as Uma drifted further away from her mother, she became concerned about Uma’s influence on Mal.

See, Uma might have started out distancing herself from her mother to protect her own feelings, but she also actually began to care less about her mother’s opinion of her.

Maleficent, who wanted Mal firmly under her control, knew that if the two girls stayed friends, Uma might encourage Mal to question her mother’s authority.

And if there’s one person on the Isle talented at subtlety and manipulation, it’s Maleficent. Mal and Uma’s friendship was doomed to end the second Maleficent decided she wanted it to.

I also think Ursula’s F- parenting plays into Uma’s feelings about Auradon. Uma is genuinely right about the Isle - it is unfair and morally abhorrent that the children of villains are fated to live in a ‘fate worse than death’ for the crime of being born to the wrong people. She and the other descendants of villains unquestionably do not deserve to be there.

But Uma’s desire for freedom and revenge isn’t just based on her rational disapproval of the Isle. It comes from a huge amount of anger and pain, and it’s admirable that she manages to use those negative feelings (along with her love for and loyalty to her crew) to motivate herself. She is equally furious and terrified - Auradon abandoned her, Mal abandoned her, her own MOTHER abandoned her - and either she didn’t deserve it, in which case she has to be angry at basically the whole world, or she did, in which case...

yeah, she tries not to think about that.

Luckily, between her friendship with Harry and Gil and the loyalty and respect she gets from her crew, more often than not she’s able to believe that she deserved better she deserves so much better she deserves the whole fuCKING WORLD.

Ultimately, Uma is a very practical person, and any feelings she has about her mother, positive or negative, will not stop her from getting off the Isle and going after what she wants - whatever that ends up being. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the octopus-inspired elements and purple undertones of her D2 look are gone in D3.

#h speaks #please let it have worked this time #uma #uma daughter of ursula #ursula #im sorry it's so rambly and incoherent #my brain does not know the meaning of the word concise #but thank you for the question anon!!!#i hadn't realised i had so many feelings about uma and ursula until now

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werevulvi · 5 years

Text

August 16th. It's 3:30 am, I shouldn't be doing this right now, but I can't keep my thoughts away from it. I'm so glad that I've kept all of my paper diaries that I've written from age 8 all the way up until age 24, when I switched to the digital format. I knew that I wrote down my very first lesbian fantasies surrounding my first crush when I was 15, and I remember I had felt intense shame about the short erotica the young teen me had written. As if it was somehow the morst impure, horrible and gross thoughts I could possibly have had. That's sad.

Now I finally wanted to read the thoughts and fantasies I had back then. It was a bit tricky to find the right paper diary in my book shelf, cause it was unmarked and on a different shelf than all the other ones. It was also not quite a diary but rather one of those little "books" that I just wrote about myself in. It was mostly random information about my personality, my hobbies, my clothing style, my depression and anxiety, some crappy lists, rating my family members, ranting about cats, etc... but close towards the end of it I found my little fantasy that had felt so forbidden that I never dared to read it again.

I was just curious exactly how far I went in my mind back then, but it was really subtle and barely there. It said a lot about boobs (both her's and mine), kissing, hearts pounding, butterflies in stomach, giving each other horny looks, and only a quick mention of her hand reaching down into my panties. I can sense in that hastily written text that I was utterly terrified of my own desire and too scared to write it down properly. It was barely even a quick overview of what probably actually went on in my mind back then when I thought of girls I liked.

I found another really quite interesting diary entry of mine, dated April 13th 2005, the day before my 16th birthday. It's from the only time in my past that I actually considered I might be a lesbian. It's in Swedish so I'll make a rough translation of my horrible teen grammar:

"Hey you, now I know for sure. I am homosexual, but I can be attracted to guys, but only because they're beautiful or good people. Not at all sexually loaded. In my thoughts and fantasies I can kiss and make out with guys, but as soon as it gets intimate I stop fantasising. But with girls it's completely different. I didn't know I'd go from heterosexual to homosexual in less than a year. But homosexual is good and I define myself however I want. Now I'm just gonna come out of the closet since I've found the handle. If you get what I mean..."

By "intimate" I did mean sexual, but I remember I specifically didn't want to write that. That is... a pretty accurate description actually. Like for a short moment there I knew what was and what wasn't attraction. Until I conveniently "forgot" about it again. However I never did come out as a lesbian back then. On the 3rd of May that same year, I wrote at the end of a very long and ranty entry:

"Now I can't lie anymore... Elena is the only one I know for sure I've been in love with. Ever. And she is a girl... Exactly why I KNOW I'm homosexual..."

And... that's it. That's all I ever wrote about it back then. I've wondered why I didn't realise it sooner than I did at age 29, but I think it's pretty clear that I did. I just refused to accept it and went into denial. Cause after that I never brought it up again in my own diaries which I always kept secret. That one date I had with another girl from online right between that first and second entry went bad but I deluded myself to think that it went amazingly well. The diary entry about it doesn't reflect what actually happened at all. Nothing bad happened, we just didn't click at all and that disappointed me.

And Elena... I met her at a church group, which really wasn't ideal. Cause I was terrified of getting closer to her there and never saw her anywhere else. We didn't go to the same school. I didn't know if that was a homophobic church or not and I wasn't keen to find out. I was distressed and felt hopeless about it all. By the time of those entries, I had already seen her for the last time a year earlier. It was painful getting over her, but eventually I did. I knew it was hard enough already to try to find a guy to like me, at that age, and I felt very lonely and unlovable. I went from bullied to sexually assaulted within a few years and I never had the chance to find a space where I could look into and explore my sexuality in healthy and curious ways. I was stuck, chased by demons.

But at least I knew on some level, that wasn't bi or straight, but in fact lesbian, even though I stuffed it away again quicker than it had popped up. And somehow that comforts me a little bit. That my thoughts about it back then were actually quite coherent and clear. A little moment of clarity from my otherwise so foggy teen self. I mean most of my diary entries from back then are completely incomprehensible gibberish. Like I can't tell if they were about some dream, fantasies, just me trying to be poetic, or actual hallucinations. I had some mental health issues back then too, but for the most part I was just weird. I’m just sharing this cause I randomly felt like it. How growing up lesbian was like for me. In a way it feels like I kinda didn’t. That I more so grew up “fake straight” while in deep denial. My parents were always supportive and I knew they had good and humane views on gay people ever since I was little, but my school really wasn’t as tolerant at all. I was called a dyke for just having a close relationship with a straight female friend. That school had that sort of vibes, and it affected me. I was already bullied and didn’t want to give them “more reasons” to be mean to me. So I didn’t even dare to look into myself properly, and tried to tell myself that I could surely be into guys if I just gave them a chance, or a billion chances. It’s interesting to me now to see how I did end up developing internalised homophobia, and why I was stuck in my denial for so many years. On and off I could accept my attraction to women but only if I was bisexual and never for longer than a few months here and there. So, it’s clear to me that I struggled much more with accepting my lack of attraction to men. I guess my traumas are tied into that too, cause I very much felt like I was obligated to please men sexually and like that was my only way to regain control. Now I think I’ve worked through most of my internalised homophobia, but I still think it’s important that I understand it better, it’s origin, and what I can do to keep my lesbian pride up and forgive myself for how I lived in the past. And that, is essentially, the point of this post. To go back to my scared teen self and try to comfort her and forgive her for her mistakes.

#lesbian #my first lesbian thoughts #my teen self #internalised homophobia #forgiving myself #reading my old diaries #its both sad and comforting

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ellanainthetardis · 5 years

Text

Prompt: Haymitch comes back drunk one night. And while Effie is helping him. He hits her. Doesn't remember. She says nothing. And then he remembers later

here you go! (mobile formating is shitty so maybe check it out on ff ;) ) [X]

Help & Pink Band-Aids

The penthouse was dark when she came back and that, in her experience, was never a good thing. It wasn’t late enough that Haymitch would have gone to bed yet and even if he hadn’t been around, Avoxes would have switched the lights on for their eventual return. A dark penthouse meant Haymitch had fallen asleep before it had grown dark or, more likely, that he was passed out drunk somewhere.

With a long suffering sigh, Effie dropped her purse on the small table in the hallway and made her way to the living-room, wondering if other escorts had such terrible difficulties with their victors. She had been working for Twelve for three years now and it wasn’t getting any better. Or easier.

Unsurprisingly, when she switched on the lights there was a low grunt of pain coming from somewhere at the other end of the room. It didn’t take her long to find Haymitch. He was huddled in a corner, an empty bottle had rolled away from him and there was a half-empty one clutched against his chest. His eyes were glassy and unseeing, he didn’t seem to be able to keep his head properly up and he smelt foul. There were dark stains on his shirt and pants.

She suspected he had been sick at some point but she would leave that for the Avoxes to find and clean out.

She let out another sigh. “What have you done to yourself now, Haymitch?”

His eyes tracked her every move when she carefully gathered the silk of her dress and crouched in front of him. She placed a hand on his knee, not entirely surprised when his leg jerked under her touch.

“It is me. Only me.” she said quietly, gently. She had learned the hard way a spooked Haymitch was difficult to deal with. A wasted one now… A wasted one wasn’t the worst. He would be a dead weight and it would be difficult to drag him to his bedroom but if he was wasted enough he became cuddly and starved for human touch. He might hate her when he was sober but when he was that drunk he didn’t mind her presence so much. “You know who I am, don’t you?”

He slurred something that might have passed for her name so she smiled her brightest dazzling smile.

“Exactly.” she grinned. “Now, you cannot be comfortable on that cold hard floor… How about we get you to bed?”

He blinked and then shook his head, looking wary.

She pursed her lips. “Come on, Haymitch, do not be difficult. I cannot leave you here.”

She could have, actually. Nowhere in her contract was it stipulated she had to take care of him when he got himself wasted. But decency and her education prevented her from simply not caring when someone was in dire need of help.

“Don’t want them to get me…” he mumbled and it took her several seconds to figure out what he had said at all because his speech was slurred and his accent thick.

“Who?” she frowned, glancing over her shoulder, aware there wouldn’t be anyone standing there. He was drunk and hallucinating and she was ridiculous for playing along.

“Ghosts.” His hand darted without much coordination but with enough strength to startle her when it closed on her wrist. “Don’t let the ghosts get me, Trinket. Don’t…”

“They won’t get you.” she promised, covering his hand with her free one. “I promise you.”

That, she could understand. She had ghosts of her own.

The tributes… She had taken to taking sleeping pills to get entire nights of sleep without nightmares. Guilt was a pesky thing.

“Let’s get you up.” she decided.

She tried to haul him up but he was uncooperative and he soon grew agitated. He kept mumbling about ghosts and monsters hiding in the dark until he was shouting. He was genuinely scared and that, perhaps, was more terrifying than anything she had ever witnessed because a sober Haymitch Abernathy… a sober Haymitch Abernathy never got scared. In three years she had yet to see him so much as startle. But when he was drunk… Sometimes, when she let herself think about what could have happened to make him end up like this, she felt like crying.

She should have stopped, of course. In insight, she realized it would have been the wisest course of action: stop fighting to get him to his feet and coax him into it instead. But she was tired and she had drunk a few cocktails more than she should have and thus she kept struggling.

And he managed to shrug her off.

The fact that he hadn’t actually gotten free sooner suggested he had been trying not to hurt her and she understood that. She understood that as soon as she was sent flying backwards. For a second, she almost gained back her balance before anything bad happened. Then her right heel twisted under her and she was falling again. Right against the edge of a nearby console.

She sat up, stunned, surrounded by a broken vase, water, and flowers…

Her forehead stung and she pressed her hand there. Her fingers came away bloody.

“No…” Haymitch breathed out and, suddenly, he was right there, kneeling in front of her, one hand cradling her cheek and the other probing at the wound on her head. “No, no, no…”

He looked so distraught…

“It is alright…” she found herself saying because she wasn’t that hurt.

“Didn’t mean to. Didn’t mean to.” he kept slurring.

“I know.” she admitted. She wasn’t even angry. It had been a stupid accident and mostly her fault. She knew better than upsetting him when he was in that kind of state. The same way she should never shake him awake when he had a nightmare, she shouldn’t try to impose something to his drunk self. “It is alright, Haymitch. I am fine.”

She was engulfed in a suffocating hug.

“Sorry.” he murmured against her green wig. “Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.”

She embraced him back. He was trembling now and she was worried he would be sick soon. She knew the signs.

“Let’s get you to bed, yes?” she suggested, combing his tangled hair with her fingers a few times. It badly needed to be washed and trimmed but the last time she had remarked on it he had glared at her.

He was sheepish, ashamed and reluctant to let go of her so, all in all, this time, it far easier to convince him to get up.

It was still a long way to his bedroom.

As she had thought, he started heaving before long but they managed to reach his bathroom. She used his first aid kit while he was being sick, cleaning the cut on her forehead. All the blood made her a little shaky but it wasn’t deep and it wasn’t serious enough that she even considered a trip to the Games Clinic downstairs. She applied a band-aid and resolved herself to a quiet day at the penthouse the next day – and until the scratch had closed enough that she could apply make-up on it.

By the time she was done, Haymitch had stopped retching and was staring at her from the floor, looking so pathetic she could do nothing else but sigh, grab a cloth and wash him up a little.

It wasn’t the first time she helped him undress and, if experience proved right, it wouldn’t be the last. She kept her eyes averted once he was in his underwear and she wasn’t satisfied until he was properly tucked in his bed.

“Stay?” he requested once his head hit the pillow. His eyelids were already drooping but he had a firm hold on her wrist so she sat on the edge of the mattress and placed a hand on his chest.

“Until you fall asleep.” she promised, also used to that aspect of things.

He was snoring less than five minutes later.

She snatched his shirt on her way out because she had put blood on it and if he woke up to that he would freak out. And blame himself. And that was the last thing she wanted.

He emerged around lunch time the next day. She was already sitting at the dinner table when he stumbled in, clad in a silky blue dressing gown that didn’t hide much because it wasn’t properly knotted shut.

“Hello, Haymitch.” she greeted brightly, knowing her cheerfulness would annoy him. She did like annoying him.

“Morning.” he grumbled, dropping on his usual chair to her left. “Coffee?”

“It is midday, you realize. Not an appropriate time for coffee.” she mocked but gestured at the nearby Avox to bring him a pot. She had made sure it was ready, naturally. She knew his habits, after all.

She kept eating her lunch, berating him for his disastrous manners when he stabbed a piece of duck with his fork directly from the main dish and sniffed it before dropping it back in there with a wince. Apparently, his stomach wasn’t up for duck yet.

But it clearly didn’t mind the pastries the Avoxes brought for dessert if the way he munched on a chocolate éclair was any indication.

It was only once the second cup of coffee was gone that he took his first good look at her, she thought. Despite the fact she had been maintaining a polite one-sided conversation all meal long. His eyes immediately zeroed on the pink band-aid on her forehead and something flashed on his face.

“The fuck happened?” he asked, dropping the pastry to reach out for her face.

She forced herself to stay still when he brushed the tips of his chocolate stained fingers against the band-aid.

“I tripped.” she dismissed with a careless twist of her wrist. “I am afraid I did break a vase but we are not mentioning that to any Gamemaker. And if they do ask, we will tell them was you. It appears we beak too many things in the penthouse, if you can believe that. I have been reminded teams should not get their floor redecorated every year. How ridiculous. They should redo the floors every year, don’t you think? How about fashion! What are we supposed to…”

“You tripped how?” he frowned, cutting her off.

“I was a little tipsy, my heel twisted.” she sighed, faking irritation. “Laugh away.”

He seemed unsure for a second and then he shrugged and smirked. “Those shoes will be the death of you. Been telling you for years.”

“Ruffian.” she huffed and then switched the topic altogether by regaling him with the latest gossip about Three’s escort he couldn’t care less about – which he explicitly stated five times.

They didn’t often spend the day in the penthouse. At least, not together. When Effie stuck indoors, it was usually to work on sponsor files but with their tributes dead… She had no real intention of watching the Games so the TV remained on mute most of the day and she walked around, straightening a painting, checking the flowers arrangements in the dining-room, perfecting her manicure…

Haymitch seemed content to sit on the couch and read one of his books but she was bored out of her mind.

She was standing in front of the mirror in the living-room, inspecting the scratch under the band-aid and wondering if it was safe enough to put make-up on it without risking infection now so she could go to a party when she felt his eyes on her. She hastily put the band-aid back on. She supposed she looked a little ridiculous. She had applied make-up on her face but had left a wide area free around the wound.

“What is it?” she challenged, ready to tell him off for mocking her.

“You didn’t really trip, yeah?” he asked, his tone less confrontational than usual. “Not alone anyway…”

There was so much bitterness and self-loathing in his voice that she sighed and turned around, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Haymitch…”

“Did I hit you?” he spat, making a face.

“You did not hit me.” she countered, shocked he would even ask. Had he frightened her sometimes when he grew mad? Yes. But never had she actually thought he would raise his hand on her. Never. He had better control on himself than he gave himself credit for. “I tried to force you up and you were trying not to hurt me. I did trip. This was my own fault.”

“Shouldn’t be helping me. Told you before.” he sneered. “Ain’t your job and we ain’t friends. You owe me nothing.”

“Oh, so you would let me pass out in the living-room if I was drunk out of my mind, would you?” she retorted.

“Yeah.” He shrugged.

She lifted an eyebrow in challenge and he rolled his eyes.

Three years earlier he might have but now… Now they had come to an understanding of sort. They had learned how to work together. Of course, that usually meant she did all the work but… They had good days sometimes.

Asking her not to help him when he was drunk wasn’t something she was comfortable with. It was a moot point by now.

“Just be careful.” he demanded with a sigh before going back to reading his book.

“Am I not always?” she hummed.

He didn’t look away from his page but the snort said it all.

#hayffie #effie trinket #haymitch abernathy #prompt #games time #not established #hurt comfort #injuries #drunk haymitch

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pumpkin-toast · 4 years

Text

Some OC Questions

This is gonna be long so I finally figured out how to properly use tumblr formatting to add a read more section

1. Your first OC ever?

My best guess is a little fellow called Scribbles

2. Do you have a personal favorite among your OCs?

Three actually - Gretchen, Flooken, and Quasar. All small and precious, all very overpowered.

3. Have you ever adopted a character?

Yes actually, several times. A Cuphead OC named Jess and a few fantrolls.

4. A character you rarely talk about?

I rarely talk about half of my characters because I have so many but I feel like talking about Blinkey. He’s an aquaphobic Enderman who wears a little grassblock themed raincoat in case it rains

5. If you could only make one of your OCs popular, who would it be?

I think it would have to be Pindle. I feel like she could make it big.

6. Two of your OCs that look alike despite not being related?

Icicle and Noelle, although I heavily based Noelle’s appearance off Icicle. And then there’s Spindler, Spindle, and Pindle, who all have basically the exact same name.

7. Are your OCs part of any story of stories?

I have a looot of stories. Too many, actually, which is why most of them are on the backburner and I’m trying to focus on just one of them for now. Here, take some concept art for it:

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs?

Yes, I have RP blogs which interact with a small circle of other RP blogs. Specifically I RP as Flooken, Kamyx, and Remund.

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

Only if I didn’t have a personal connection to them, which I do for a crap ton of my characters. I’ve only given away one character and that was because I didn’t have that connection. Somebody like, say, Flooken? I would never consider giving him up.

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

I don’t really have any tbh. The whole point of my style is to be simplistic.

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

Yes, Purity! She’s innocent, a bit naive, and a total extrovert.

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

A female serial killer character made by my friend.

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

The Suits. All five of them. Oh, and also Note, and Hanret.

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

There’s too many to choose from

15. Do you like to talking about your OCs with other people?

Yes

16. Which one of your OCs would be best at biology?

Sophie, because she kind of is a biologist.

17. Any OC OTPs?

Graalu x Qiospe, Hana x Seven, Ragdoll x Dollface, Drobyme x Remund, Kayla x Camilla

18. Any OC crackships?

Spindler x Duplin, Entity x Spindle

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you

So hey, this is Gretchen. I really like her.

20. Do any of your OCs sing?

Lots of them sing. The first one that comes to mind is Kamyx, she usually only sings when she’s alone and my voice of choice for her would be Bryana Salaz.

21. Your most artistic OC

The only one that I can think of right now is Drobyme.

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize?

I can’t really think of any, so I guess no

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would look like?

Almost all of my fantrolls. Because I recently redesigned them into humans for a non-homestuck related story

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

Flooken, so I could hug him and tell him everything’s going to be alright and buy him 2001 chicken nuggets

25. The OC that resembles you the most

Coffee or Cupcake, because Coffee was based off all the craps I don’t give and Cupcake is my optimism.

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

Yes, this is a funny story actually. So I had been adopting several fantrolls off a person on Amino because I needed fantrolls for a fansession and I was going creatively bankrupt at the time. But it turns out there had been a mixup and one of the trolls I adopted was actually adopted by someone else first, so I had to give her up. And then I just adopted another troll and gave her the same name.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

I’ve had backstories that I’ve fleshed out a bit more using songs, but I don’t think I have any characters that were inspired by a specific song.

28. Your most dangerous OC?

It’s a tie between Kamyx and Reaper

29. Which one of your OCs would investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

There’s no doubt in my mind it would 100% be Gabby.

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

Quinn, Pindle, Ivisd, or Cressida.

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain their Tumblr blog layout.

Okay, let’s go with Baxter.

He’s got the default blog layout, burgundy background with black text. His icon is a purple eye and his header image is just a black fill. He posts about the weird crap he and his friends get up to, reblogs a lot of witchcraft, lots of divination and tarot cards. And also demons, he’s into demons. And then he has a more innocent side blog where he posts about baking.

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

Seven, because he’s a big scaredy cat but would probably be able to go through a horror game scenario if he had the proper motivation.

33. Your shyest OC.

Ivisd

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Totally. Kefi and Lypi, Noiche and Blanr, Blue and Pink, Quinn and Harriet. I even have a set of quintuplets.

35. Any sibling characters?

Yes, but if I listed them all we’d be here all week and this post is already too long.

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else?

Yes

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Most of my OCs aren’t human actually but uh I’ll go with Seven

He’s the one on the left. No one really knows what he is but he looks human, although his eyes are a bit weird (he’s also blind). He’s pathokinetic, always wears a yellow raincoat, and his LI is a tsundere. He’s not exactly shy but he’s a scaredy cat and always very very fretful

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

I’ve thought long and hard about this. And it has to be Lyric.

39. Introduce any character you want.

*ahem* I’m gonna do two

Aight so this is Entity (left) and Censor (right) and they’re my protagonist duo in my story. Censor is overly pessimistic and Entity is overly optimistic and they’re pretty much stuck with each other. They’re also both fugitives.

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters?

I remember playing Splatoon as some of my OCs and having lots of fun being terrible with their weapons.

41. Has anyone ever drawn fanart of yours OCs?

Yes

Qerri, Murck, Flooken, Flooken again, and Lyric

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

Lorelei, because she’s a god herself.

43. Do you have any certain types when you create OCs?

I tend to lean more towards making badass girls and fretful boys. I don’t know why it just happens more often than not. But I’ve been trying to push past it as of late.

44. Something you like about your OCs in general.

I just love them all. I view them all as my children and I love them.

45. A character you no longer use?

There are a few from stories I’ve scrapped and abandoned, but I still keep them around in case I need another cast member for another story. They’re just like understudies!

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

Yes and I do. I may love them but it’s tough love.

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

Yes

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

My baby boy Flooken, the best boy of them all

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes?

Entity, that little shit

50. Freebie!

Oh a freebie?

So I’ve got this google doc. I talk about it sometimes but I’ve never actually showed it to anyone outside of a very small group of individuals, but it does exist. I call it Ramager’s OC-Palooza of Epic Proportions and Broken Dreams. It lists every single one of my countless characters, all organized into sections based on what story or universe each character belongs to. In fact it was lagging so much that I had to make a second doc (Titled ‘(P2) Ramager’s OC-Palooza of Epic Proportion and Broken Dreams’). Collectively the two docs have a total of 207 pages. These docs are where I store every bit of information about my characters, including pictures, themes, voice claims, and more. I have been working on it since October of 2019. I’m still adding to it everyday. It terrifies me greatly.

#this is a longpost #ramagersart #yetanotherOCmeme #ramagerocs #longpost

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jovial-insanity-blog · 7 years

Text

Gravitational Pulls // Min Yoongi

Warnings: Language, Fluff overdose

A/N: So this is a Suga/Min Yoongi/Agust D reader insert fic, but I never actually mentioned his name anywhere in there (oops) so I figured I would clarify that before hand. Okay, you may continue my dears.

•••

The air is light tonight. Wind caressing exposed cheeks with chilled fingers, stars begining to sprinkle their dreamy light over the city park. Eyes glisten with the reflection of night lights. The moon, not out in its full glory yet, but it’s eerie glow leaking through the cloud cover enough to reveal itself. Stunning, as always, is the night sky. Just as stunning, perhaps, as what occurs beneath.

…………………………

“Isn’t it fascinating?” a feminine figure thinks aloud, a broad, crooked smile glistening pure white in the surrounding darkness. Her company raises an eyebrow, curious at the path his friends mind is wandering. “Isn’t what fascinating?” he ventures casually, continuing to stare at the dotted sky.

The girl sighs, leans back into the arm around her shoulders. It’s pleasant, the gentle presence of another persons warmth to chase away the nights chill, and she hums lightly before responding with a gentle, “The way that… everything that could be crashing down on us from up there, is suspended by something that, really, we can’t even see.”

A gentle smile comes to the man’s face at the words, hood slipping off as he turns to the young woman at his side. Of course that’s what she came up with, he smirks to himself, staring admiringly at the top of her head. Shes always coming up with nonsense like that, blowing his mind time and time again with how intensely philosophical she can be. “..How.” he voices aloud, though it was meant to be more of a thought. She backs off slightly in order to face him properly, confusion written on her pretty features. For a moment, he mourns the warmth that seeps away with her movement. The safety of another human by his side, comforting and gentle and reassuring in the semi-daekness. Though its lack of presence is disapointing, he also cant help but take another precious moment to admire her unintentional beauty. Moonlight now uncloaked coating her bare face in a pale glow as her brow creases, head tilting ever-so-slightly to the left, just like it always does when shes unsure of something. He could gaze at her for hours, if only she would allow him.

“How… , what?” she questions quietly, taking in his features just as he does hers, making sure to note the small smirk lingering like it always does after he smiles, and the flicker of passing emotions working behind his eyes that she so adored being able to decipher.

He chuckles to himself, shaking his head with sudden bashfulness that makes his ears go red from more than just the chill, “How do you do that?”

The creases on her brow increase in depth, revealing the lasting confusion to the man quietly obsessing over the way her lips press themselves into a harsh line that starkly contrasts with the small wrinkles appearing on her nose. Curse whatever the hell made her so cute, seriously. Did they want to ruin his ability to concentrate? Because if so, congratulations to them. It worked..

“Er, you’re gonna have to be a bit more precise with that one snowflake.” is her returning quip. He wrinkles his nose. “Do what?”

She suppresses a giggle at his reaction to the nickname, knowing he likes the term - though he insists he despises upon its childish nature. He tends to be like that about a lot of things, she’s noticed over the years; but she can, and has always been able to, see through the protective shield he’s made around himself. And he does, and always has done, the same for her.

“I thought I said not to call me that, ya prick.” he retorts, lightly smacking her shoulder as she laughs. “But seriously, how do you do it? Look at something and just BAM,” he attempts a (rather poor) impression of an explosion, “profound message, just from staring into space - quite literally. ”

“Was that pun intended.” is her immediate reaction, still laughing light heartedly as his cheeks begin to blush, hard. He chuckles along with her, messing idly with one of the cords on his hoodie, “Uhm, no, actually - for once.”

They both sit without conversation for a while, just letting their laughter gradually fall and rise again with the fluctuating eye contact until they finally, finally get a grip on themselves.

“I don’t know, by the way.” the girl whispers, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over the atmosphere, “how I do that, I mean. It just kind of…, comes to me, I guess. For whatever reason.” she chuckles nervously, gesturing randomly into thin air. “But, hey, you know what that reminded me of?”

Humming, he realizes that she’s leaning her head on his shoulder again. Suddenly - and deffinitely unrelated to any other preemptive thought whatsoever - his head is, without explination, over her own. It takes a second for his eyes to slip closed, but they do. And when they do, he relaxes. He breathes in. And is in turn overwhelmed by fatigue, and the scent of vanilla shampoo.

“It.. reminds me, of something." She whispers.

"Mm?"

"It - it reminds me of love.”

..Oh. And, he’s wide awake again. “Huh?”

“Love,” she repeats, lightly nestling her head into his chest. “How even though the world can be crashing down on someone, love can keep them suspended just enough as to not let their entire galaxy implode. ”

As the words float around in his brain, he realizes just how right she is, and just how whipped he really is for one of his best friends. How well she keeps him suspended, comforting in times of near implosion and encouraging even when everything was aligned. And she knew - she knew exactly where she was directing that little realization the moment she thought it, having known for a good while now that he was her oxygen in a universe lacking of air. She knew this, yet made no moves in particular to advance in any way. She loved him, carried him not close to her heart but inside of it, and he felt the same, though she was yet unaware.

And she anxiously awaits his reply, not knowing just how bloody hard that statement just hit him. He wouldn’t be surprised if he had a concussion if he was honest, brain whirring around the words tumbling like waves over and over again in his mind until, not thinking, he mumbles out a small, quiet, “You keep me suspended.” and immediately sticks his face in her hair, terrified of her reaction. She’s his best friend, he might have just completely ruined their friendship, fuck why did he do that how stupid could he g-

“You keep me suspended, too. ” Oh. Well that wasn’t… quite what he was expecting. She smiles into his side just as he smiles into her hair, squeezing her shoulders - just because he can.

“That was, by far, the cheesiest thing I’ve ever taken part in. ” he laughs, earning a slap to the chest (even though she’s laughing too).

“Shut up, you love me. Jerk. ”

And he does. He really, really does.

–

It’s two days and five hours later (neither of them were counting, shut up Tae) when they’re in the same positions, but this time on the couch in the dorm, watching some cliche ‘scary movie’ with the Maknae’s and Jin because they were concerned about how much the two of them spent in their rooms or just not generally socializing. In all honesty, neither of them minded. They got to spend time together for the first time since they walked home from that midnight confession two and a half days ago, and even though the movie wasn’t the best, they enjoyed it. [You guys didn’t even watch it! You just cuddled on the couch and made our stomachs sick with your cuteness] Taehyung shut up. [It’s true and you know it!] Yeah, yeah, okay. So it was nice, besides the fact the movie was trash. They got to actually be close - more so than their usual platonic half-cuddles [was it really ever platonic though? OKAY OKAY LEAVING SORRY BYE DON'T KILL ME]. Yes, it was platonic before. But, now, it wasn’t. And it was probably supposed to be a little awkward at first, because maybe this.. changes things. Maybe it was different now that there were titles, and comitment. But… it wasn’t. It was natural, their bodies molding against each other, worn t-shirts and sweat pants and shorts and a kinda small tank top surrounding them in a sea of fabric and comfort as she placed her head beside his and he wrapped his arm around her waist. And finally, their universes came together, and they became each other’s gravity.

•••

Hello! Admin Bre here - this is my first post on here and I’ve done it on my phone, so apologies if the format or anything is weird (please tell me if it is and I’ll try to fix it asap)! Hopefully you enjoyed the massive fluff ball I’ve created - this isn’t my writing at its best, so I’m a little hesitant about posting, but I’m doing it anyways because screw it. Might as well XD so, yeah. (I’ve done some editing now, so its slightly less shit :) ) If you have any criticism or comments or suggestions on what I should do next, go ahead an leave me an ask and I’ll answer as soon as I remember to! Byeeeeeeeee

#bts #min yoongi #suga #fluff #this is really stupid #but oh well #i like it #idk #let me live #i fixed it now though #no worries

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aroberuka · 7 years

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Evens for writers ask meme?

2. Where is yourfavourite place to write?

Either the kitchen table, which is the perfect height for my laptop & the only place in the house that gets sunlight in the morning, or my bed tbh.

4. Do you have anywriting habits/rituals?

Not writing habits so to speak but I do have a getting ready to write ritual that mostly consists of dragging myself out of bed and going for a walk.

6. Favourite characteryou’ve written?

Mouse!Surana, hands down. I kinda just made her on the spot for that one oneshot and as a result she ended up radically different from my usual OCs (they’re not usually this… driven xD), which made her such a blast to write.

8. Do you have anywriting buddies or critique partners?

@coppercaravan has been both for a little bit over a year and they’re such a pleasure to work with tbh.

10. Pick an author (orwriting friend) to co-write a book with

1) @coppercaravan we should stick our OCs together and see what happens, y/y?

2) That being said it’s super easy to get me to write with you literally all you have to do is drop into my inbox like “hey we should write a thing” and be very patient with my spoonie ass.

12. Which story ofyours do you like best? why?

Honestly it’s the quasiplatonic solavellan fic. I love Tathas, I put a lot of work and also a lot of me into it, I have a lot of thoughts about what’s coming next and I really wish I could finish it already esp since it wouldn’t be that long (like. 8-10 chapters tops, not counting a potential Trespasser sequel) but I haven’t been able to get in a DAI mood for forever x_x

14. What does it takefor you to be ready to write a book? (i.e. do you research? outline? make a playlist or pinterest board? wing it?)

Ideally I’d need the stars to align perfectly on a week with two Mondays, but more realistically what I need is:

-a playlist, or at least a couple artists that’ll put me in the right mood

-character sheets with some basic info + relationship charts + their stake in the plot

-a rough chapter by chapter plan that will inevitably fly out the window by the time I finish chapter 1.

16. Cover love/dreamcovers?

Not really, no.

18. Tell us about thatone book you’ll never let anyone read

So back in January there was that self-insert month thing, and I figured why the hell not, but b/c I’m apparently unable to write self-indulgent fluff and also I was in a Mood it turned into a writing as therapy thing and now I don’t know what to do with it b/c on the one hand I do want to write it & I think it would help me deal with some stuff but on the other idk that I would ever be able to let anyone read it, let alone post it online.

20. Any advice foryoung writers/advice you wish someone would have given you early on?

Length is overrated, short chapters are fine and the only good piece of writing advice is that there is no such thing as universal writing advice.

22. Tell us about thebooks on your “to write” list

… I’m not gonna give you a full list b/c it would be ridiculous but the ones that are on my brain atm are:

-- Présages aka The Novel aka that one story about ghosts that turned into a story about the importance of healthy communication & a good support system.

-- A novella about an aromantic protag that was supposed to be a subplot of the previous but is now its own thing so I can give it the attention it deserves.

-- A fantasy novel that started with me listening to too much critical role and is basically a thinly disguised metaphor for fighting against depression.

(All of them are depression books tbh and I’m not even a little bit sorry.)

And then there’s the fics:

-- A post Akuze longshot feat. Leo, grief and politics.

-- A Leverage/HP crossover feat. pre-canon Eliot, wizards and poor attempts at dragon smuggling.

-- A CCS/Naruto crossover that I’ll probably never write tbh b/c the sheer size of it is terrifying to me, but I like to dust it off every other month anyway b/c I put a lot of thought into it.

24. Do you remember themoment you decided to become a writer/author?

I don’t remember the moment I started to write – that was a long long time ago – but the moment I decided to become a writer I’m pretty sure was when I read The Princess Bride, b/c I very distinctly remember closing the book and going “I wish I’d written that”.

26. What’s the mostresearch you’ve ever put into a book?

It’s kinda hard to tell tbh b/c my research, like everything else, tends to be scattered in short bursts over months/years, but my most recent research-heavy project has been the Leverage/HP crossover, which has led me to a lot of reading on poaching/smuggling as I tried to figure out how one would go about smuggling a dragon.

Turns out there’s no actual book on dragon smuggling but I ended up learning a lot about butterfly smuggling, which as it turns out is

1)a thing

2)very serious business.

28. How do you stayfocused on your own work and how do you deal with comparison?

I don’t. I don’t stay focused on anything, ever. I also deal very poorly with comparison even tho the only one doing the comparing is my own self.

30. Do you like to readbooks similar to your project while you’re drafting or do you stick to non-fiction/un-similar works?

I do! I find it very helpful esp. when I’m writing in a genre/style I’m not used to. I try to avoid it with fanfiction tho so as to avoid accidentally absorbing other people’s headcanons into my own work.

32. On average how muchdo you write in a day? do you have trouble staying focused/gettingthe word count in?

Tbh I usually count in ‘pages’ (quote/unquote b/c I’m using my own format which is considerably shorter than what you probably think of when you hear ‘page’), and I’m trying to get myself to two pages a day for The Novel but I’m considerably slower when I’m not writing in French b/c language is hard.

34. Unpopular writingthoughts/opinions?

-- Character death is overrated.

-- The idea that conflict is necessary to tell a good story is highly subjective and even if it wasn’t a good conflict shouldn’t just boil down to ‘characters being horrible (or downright abusive) to each other’/‘characters being forced to commit or witness atrocities’ over and over again.

-- Romance is boring and so is smut.

-- Young/aspiring writers need positive feedback way, way more than criticism, constructive or not; constructive criticism overall is overrated (which isn’t to say that it’s never useful but like it’s not The One True Way For A Writer To Improve that a lot of ppl try to sell it as).

36. Post a snippet

She’s always been lucky is the thing.

Lucky to find the Reds when she needed them, lucky to lose them when she no longer did, lucky to get caught by the right people at the right time, lucky to be offered military service instead of prison, lucky that Anderson had seen something in her no-one else ever had.

Lucky to survive doesn’t feel so special.

38. How do you nailvoice in your books?

Honestly that is one thing that comes p much naturally to me? Like whenever I write in a character’s voice I can usually ‘hear’ what I’m writing so to speak, which makes things considerably easier tbh.

40. Do you look up toany of your writer buddies?

What kind of question is that I look up to all of y'all??? I’m not even kidding here y’all are amazing and talented and I’m so thrilled I got to meet all of you?

42. How many drafts doyou usually write before you feel satisfied?

I’d say 2-3 though it’s kinda hard to tell b/c I don’t strictly speaking work in full drafts, I tend to go back and forth between paragraphs instead.

44. Why (and when) didyou decide to become a writer?

I must have been like 16 or something. Hell if I remember why except I love stories and it seemed like a good idea at the time?

46. Past or presenttense?

I actually prefer past tense despite my current inability to write it (idk why all my fic end up being present tense but I suspect English).

48. Do you prefer towrite skimpy drafts and flesh them out later, or write too much and cut it back?

I mean most of my fics are already under 500 words long can you imagine if I actually cut stuff from them? :p

50. Do you share yourrough drafts or do you wait until everything is all polished?

I tend to wait until everything is polished but also, again, it’s super easy to get me to share rough drafts or even outlines with you b/c I am weak and crave validation.

52. Who do you writefor?

Me. Always.

Like listen the fact is actually talking openly & honestly about personal stuff even to people who have been there for me in the past is literally the hardest thing for me to do and I got so damn good at avoiding it I don’t even have to think before I do it anymore, and sometimes it feels like writing is the only way I can actually properly communicate anymore. So yeah I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care about ppl loving what I write but it will always be first and foremost something I do for myself.

54. Favourite firstline/opening you’ve written?

already answered here

#ghouliissh #marti #marti why i thought we were friends #i didn't even reread this i'm just kinda assuming i didn't leave any answer unfinished

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redrobin-detective · 7 years

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Don't know if this had been asked before but how would resolve/explored/develop the batfamily dynamics pre 52? I don't know if it was you or someone else, but it was brought up that the idea of Damian being more Dick's kid than Bruce's would be a neat idea to explore. Bruce would still bond w/Damian but he'd have to deal w/Damian seeing Dick as his real dad and Dick staying Batman for Damian's sake. Tim and Dick repairing their bond while the former and Damian would learn to accept each other.

Sorry, I know, I’ve held onto this for nearly a week but this is such a big ask I’ve been thinking about how to best describe and format it so I’ve been doing it bit by bit. Because I’ve given quite a bit of thought to how to integrate the ideas of pre-Flashpoint smoothly into N52, using the plot lines and developments from the later without sacrificing the former. I think it could have easily have been done and been more interesting because DC dropped off on some intense plotlines. *Also to save my fingers, Pre = Pre-Flashpoint/N52

Dick/Dami- I have done a few posts about how close they were pre and how Dami and Bruce really weren’t. Bruce was not the best father before he came back from the dead and had no interest in working with Damian in order to help the boy heal. In my fantasy, this would have played out. Damian would have refused to leave Dick’s side as his partner while now Bruce is hurt/confused on why his son now doesn’t want to be with him. I want Damian and Bruce to have a relationship but I want B to have to work for it. Nightwing and Robin shows Dick and Dami together with Batman and Red Robin has Tim and Bruce teamed but slightly at odds with each other, the once close relationship showing strain while Dick and Dami are going strong. Eventually Bruce earns Damian’s love and trust and begins patrolling with Bruce but he still remains immensely close to Dick and, no one says it aloud, but everyone considers him more Dick’s child than Bruce’s. By the time of Damian’s death, it should be Dick who is outraged and inconsolable with grief barely able to function while Bruce goes into his angry/panicked mode because he’d barely gotten any time with Dami and now he’s gone.

Tim- Just Tim in general would need a lot of work done and I’m not just saying that cause he’s my favorite. Red Robin left us with some pretty massive loose ends not to mention Timmy had be been bent and twisted by his experiences to the point that he was different and not always in good healthy ways. In Batman and Red Robin, we see the strain slowly start to show. B is still mad for Tim almost killing Boomerang at the same time he’s upset at how much Tim has grown-up and grown away. He’s also lowkey upset about Dami and, I don’t want to say he’s using Tim to fill in until Damian comes back but it’s implied. He also becomes increasingly concerned for Tim’s mental/physical health. Tim meanwhile is a slow, steady downward slope of depression and feelings of isolation and hurt/anger/insecurity over how the batfam treated him the past few years. First half would show the two fighting and generally slipping down, maybe Tim has a bad health scare with spleen and finally enough is enough and they focus on pulling Tim back. Also like to see a resolution to the Ra’s arc in which Ra’s comes in and tries to sway Tim over to his side which becomes more possible as Tim slips further away from the batfam. The whole fam/Titans get together and help get Red in a better place. (also wishful thinking, as all this occurs, Tim begins to realize his love for Conner and is dealing with that on top of everything. It spills out one night and is delighted/terrified to find his best friend has felt the same way for a long time. they agree to put any relationship on hold until Tim is in a better place but they sneak a few kisses and the support really helps Tim get back together)

Tim/Jason- Just as an aside I’d really like to see this (brotherly/friend) relationship develop. I like that N52 had these two be friends but it drove me nuts that after 6 years of Jay wanting nothing more than Tim’s death they’re besties? I’d like to think Jay would be one of the first to see how bad things have gotten for Tim because he’s been there, he know what it’s like to be the forgotten Robin. And Jay is still angry but his head is finally starting to clear from the Pit and he acknowledges that what happened with him and B wasn’t Tim’s fault. And as he watches Tim slowly spiral downwards with seemingly no help, Jay decides he won’t see another Robin die. Jason approaches Alfred, then B about Tim’s health and ways to help. It’s tense and awkward as they test the waters but they agree to, separately, help get Tim straight. It’s slow going but between Outlaw missions, Jay stops by Tim’s apartment and hangs out with him. They patrol when B is with Dami, they talk and properly get to know each other. They find they have a bit in common and actually like talking. Tim finally talks about some of the messed up things that happened and lets Jay know how bad things got and Jay finally talks about his traumas and comes to terms with them. As Tim is still angry at Dick/Bruce, Jason becomes a confidant in the batfam.

Jason- Actually RHATO Rebirth Jason is a pretty good idea of what I’m thinking of. We have a Jason who, after a few years finally is able to move past the Pit’s influence and think clearly for the first time in a while. It makes him realize that most of his actions were done out of anger so he re-evaluates. B sees this and takes the opportunity to reach out which Jason appreciates and returns by telling B about Tim. That’s where B and J start making things right, when they’re talking about how to best help Tim, they’re also covertly talking about how to deal with what happened. It gets out that Hood is a Bat and Jay is forced to ally himself properly with his family in order to avoid being torn apart by the criminal community. Jay will never be the golden son, he agrees that he won’t purposely kill but he toes the line far more than Bruce is comfortable with. The trust between them is razor thin but they’re trying. B hates it but he uses Jason as an agent who does the things B cannot/will not do. Jay spends only about half the time in Gotham, the other half with the Outlaws (NOT Kory/Roy, Jay needs his own team not hand-me-downs, Artemis/Bizarro?). He gets on better terms with Tim, but is still at odds with Dick even more so on Tim’s behalf for replacing the kid when he was down. Eventually learns to like Dami and becomes a proper big brother with him. I’d like a side arc seeing Jason going back to school? Going to GCU maybe with Steph under a false ID, that’d be nice.

Cass and the BOP- Having read Cass’s Batgirl run I think it’d be a natural progression that she’d fit in with the Birds. Cass loves her new family but she also needs space for herself to grow and she remembers Bruce was rather suffocating with her. She moves in fulltime with Barbara on the excuse she’s there to help/respond quickly but honestly she’s working on bettering her people skills and needs that constant human interaction. Babs teaches her to read when not on missions and the other Birds are very supportive of Cass. Cass also trains the other Birds in techniques and really hones the Team’s skills. They become just as formidable and respected as the Bats. They learn to coordinate better so they each can have more times off. The Birds would have their own section of Gotham as “theirs”, their own rogues gallery, get involved in the ladies’ personal lives. Barb is still struggling with her on again/off again relationship with Dick, now complicated by children in all but name, Damian and Cass (lol Bruce lost two children to other people). Cass is working on being a person and not a weapon but trying to keep up her impressive skills. Steph is a reserve member, available if needed but she’s really trying to ally herself with the Bats. She and Cass though retain a strong relationship, Steph because her relationship with Tim has soured and she needs someone and Cass because Steph was her first friend.

Stephanie- I’d basically like a continuation of her Batgirl run which was marvelous and go read it. Stephanie is still trying to prove herself to that Bats that she’s worthy of the cape and cowl and, for the most part, she’s earned it. Bruce now grants her the Batgirl title and keeps her on the roster and her belt equipped. But there’s always gonna be some tension between them and he’s undeniably harsher on her than the others. She patrols often with Dick and Damian who like/trust her more and, a lot of times, if Dick is working or whatever it will just be her and Damian. She relishes the big sister role and the feminine influence is good on Damian (though he’ll never admit to it). Continues her classes at GCU, nearly falls over when Jason sits next to her in her English Lit class. The big problem for her is keeping up with the other more confident/well-trained heroes and also repairing her relationship with Tim. She messed up, he took it badly, she moved up in batfam, he started spiraling out of control. He’s still angry about what went down but recently has been trying to repair the relationship. But too much has happened and they’ve both changed so much. Neither likes admitting how different from Robin and Spoiler they are. Her and Jay discuss how to handle Tim while studying poetry. As Tim’s health improves, he lets Steph in more and they start their friendship over. Also very close to the BOP/Cass and while she’ll hang out with them a lot out of costume, she’s determined to be a Bat. Maybe after she gains some confidence, she might switch over to the BOP for good.

#batman asks #batman headcanon #long post #this is huge but I would have DIED to have seen this in N52

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