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aliensunflower-fics · 4 years

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Marinette The Perfect Daughter In Law: A Prompt

[ I've seen a few ‘everyone loves Marinette AU’s’ and a couple Marvel DC ‘all the mentors want THEIR kid to end up with Marinette AU’s’ and well frankly! I felt inspired! So I present to you my new prompt / AU thing! In which all the most powerful / rich / popular people in Paris decide to play matchmaker�� ]

It starts when Adrien and Kagami have a less than AMICABLE break up according to their parents and the media anyway in reality it was a really REALLY dull break up. The pair have been ‘dating’ (using each other as an excuse to go out and experience normal teenage stuff) since they were 15. Now at 17 soon to be 18 the pair decided to publicly break up in order to pursue other people and interests. The problem is they never told their parents the truth so both Gabriel and Kagami’s mother Tomeo feel protective and concerned about what must surely be an upsetting first heartbreak for their child. And okay maybe both parents take that out on each other and both get a bit defensive and protective. And MAYBE it ends with Tomeo vowing to get revenge for her daughter. Enter, Marinette. Up and coming fashion designer for the rich and famous! She’s single, talented, and as far as Tomeo knows Gabriel is interested in the girl for her talent. So what better revenge could exist but having Marinette take an interest in Kagami!

Kagami has no idea why her mother suddenly has an interest in Marinette but she wont complain about having more time with her very cute designer friend. And all the outfits Tomeo is paying Marinette to make for Kagami is giving the young fencer plenty of up-close and personal moments with Marinette. And okay Marinette is VERY cute and Kagami wont question why she suddenly has all this tine with Marinette, eating ice cream with the girl and having brunch. But she knows shes absolutely head over heels when Marinette shows up at her fencing tournament gives her a luck charm and cheers her on wearing HER colors. Obviously Kagami wiped the floor with all the competition she cant be seen hesitating in front of Marinette!

On Tomeo’s side of things she makes sure that the paparazzi still lurking around after Kagami and Adrien’s breakup catch photos of what could easily be interpreted as dates between the girls. After all this is a revenge ploy but also Marinette is fantastic so Tomeo is 300% down with Kagami ‘bringing her into the family’ something she tells Kagami after the first paparazzi ‘date photos’ leak into the news. Kagami still has no idea this was an orchestrated affair and just thinks her mothers caught on to her feelings and is overjoyed that Marinette is approved of because after the cheek kiss Marinette gave her for winning the fencing tournament Kagami was preparing to fight her mother for the right to pursue the young designer seriously. After all she never hesitates!

But Tomeo never realized Gabriel isnt the only one interested in Marinette. Audrey Bourgeouis has been keeping an eye on Marinette trying to find a way to get Marinette on to her side and away from Gabriel. So when she sees the photos of Kagami and Marinette she sees an opportunity. After all if Marinette isnt exclusively into men (and those photos of her flushed cheeks as Kagami cleans ice cream off her bottom lip are a clear indication shes not) then Audrey smells opportunity. After all Marinette was Chloe’s first crush! How cute would that be! The next day Marinette is being offered yet another opportunity to intern under Audrey this time with much looser restrictions. When Marinette accepts she suddenly finds herself working with Chloe… A LOT. The pair are modeling together, often paired together for shoots in perfect complementary clothes that screams ‘opposites attract’. Chloe is also helping manage Marinette’s brand and the two start to get along very well. The model photos and their business lunches are soon plastered alongside the Kagami and Marinette outings with parisian gossip blogs finding their interest picked by this potential love triangle.

Chloe for one, was confused at first. Sure she knew her mom was interested in Marinette but she never thought SHE would be working so closely with her first crush. And Chloe tries to ignore it, after all those are dead feelings! And Marinette woud never forgive her anyway so why even- Wait. Is that Marinette in a downright gorgeous golden dress? A-and she will be posing right next to Chloe for their shared shoot? Well… Chloe always thought herself deserving of royalty and damn if Marinette aint the princess of her dreams. Sorry Adriken’s you had your chance to get the girl, but now its winner keeps all and Marinette is the only prize shes interested in. For the record Alya is freaked out by Chloe being nice, but shes more weirded out by Chloe being protective and handsy and downright shamelessly flirty with Marinette. Audrey is pleased when she hears the news and is quick to give her daughter encouragement acting as if none of this was premeditated at ALL.

Oh but they have no idea that this is just the beginning. Because guess who's moved back into town. Adrien’s favorite cousin and aunty. And Felix’s mom is quite the busybody and dammit Felix needs friends! And maybe a cute girlfriend! And oh whos that pretty girl on the magazine cover? Marinette? The one her celebrity connections have nothing but praise for? Perfect! Shes invited to lunch with Felix and herself on friday to discuss movie costumes! And oh Audrey dear dont you think Marinette would look fabulous sandwiched between TWO blondes! Felix hasnt modeled in a while but come now. So suddenly Marinette is being spotted with Felix guiding him about paris and modeling with him AND Chloe under AUDREY’s brand NOT Gabriels.

Felix thought hed really hate Marinette; he tried to ignore her he really did. But shes funny, witty and sweet. Not to mention trustworthy, so a good candidate for a business partner. And thats it, but then he has to admit hes impressed when he rolls up to a photoshoot and Chloe! The definition of brat personified is acting… Bearable. Yes, somehow Marinette has done the impossible! She has tamed the beast known as Chloe. And yes fine he will admit shes drop dead gorgeous and how intelligent of her to learn all sides of the fashion industry and boost her rep with modelling! Soon hes spending more time with her, he tries to argue he needs a guide, that shes the most bearable person to be with! That she is just a friend- Oh god. No it cant be! He sounds like-! Like ADRIEN! And Chloe already told him about THAT mess! No! Absolutely not! He will not lead on Marinette like his idiot cousin! Marinette is a rare and beautiful woman! She could be his queen! And god he has to admit it much as he loathes too Marinette’s smile is enough to make him thank every non-existent god. He will win her heart, show her that she deserves better than his brain dead cousin! Felix is sure mother will approve of his decision to pursue the girl, now he just needs to do more shoots with Marinette...

And that's what finally gets Gabriel to snap. Because REALLY Felix!? Is there no loyalty to FAMILY. Not to mention he was totally drafting a potential contract for Marinette when Audrey snapped her up the witch! But its fine! Marinette has always been interested in Adrien! Surely she still is? Surely she's not been swayed by any of her new suitors! Right? Gabriel knows he can't mess with Audrey’s contract so he goes through Adrien, freeing up his sons schedule and telling him to spend time with Marinette to help her ‘adapt’ to the harsh world of fashion and modeling. He uses Adrien’s heroic nature to make it sound like hed be saving her from Chloe and Felix. And sure enough Adrien bites, using his friendship with Chloe to worm into fittings, meetings, and photo shoots. At first hes just there to make sure Chloe and Felix arent hurting sweet Marinette. But when he sees the blondes fighting for her attention, flirting with her, posing with her in some rather romantic settings. Suddenly hes less worried and more… Jealous? No! Not him! Hes concerned, confused, suspicious! Obviously he needs to spend more time with Mari- Wait! When did Kagami get here to take Marinette to lunch! And why are they all ignoring him!!!

Now Marinette is fully in the public's eye. Gossip blogs are being fed bits of info writing up each ‘candidates’ appeal as THE romantic partner to the Marinette Dupain-Cheng paris new darling, the girl with a heart of gold too oblivious to see the trail of hearts following her around! But there is still another contender yet to enter the game! Jaggeds been away on tour teaching Luka his up and coming protege all the tricks. And lets not lie Luka has his own fans now, enough to rival all the others. Jagged sees Luka as his own son, even calling him as much! Hell hes even adopted Luka and Juleka and when I say adopted I mean Jagged literally got shared custody of the kids when their real dad tried to start trouble once Luka started gaining fame. Luka and Juleka for one love their adopted father and his wonderful fiance Penny. But back to Jagged, being Jagged.

The moment Jagged is back in Paris he's checking up on his favorite designer and hopefully future daughter in law! When… WHAT'S THIS?! All the other ritchies in Paris are playing his game! Trying to get Marinette married into THEIR families! Not rock and roll at all! He was here first! And so being Jagged he decides to make Luka’s stake in the race for Marinette’s heart clear! By spamming social media with photos of Marinette being cute with Luka, taking his measurements, going out with him, the pair babying Fang, the two passed out against each other after a long concert. And he has photos going back at least a year or two! Soon Luka’s fans pick up the hype starting a trending hashtag finding the pair cute! Jagged feels confident that hes won! When Audrey retaliates, and from there its a complete train wreck. Before long each pair has a hashtag filled with cute moments and arguing over whos dating the model / fashion designer!

Meanwhile Adrien is drowning in denial as he goes through each hashtag seething about how many MORE photos everyone else has with Marinette, when HE is her very good friend and was here first! Felix, Chloe and Kagami on the other hand have declared open war after they tried to talk to each other about the hashtags reasonably only for it to devolve into “so you agree Marinette is best with me!” - “WHAT! No! Thats not what I said! Besides she clearly is best with me!” - “Ridiculous!” And so on. Poor Luka is having an entirely different reaction hiding in shame unsure how to face Marinette because he WAS going to ask her on a proper date now that she seems over Adrien, because even with everything she's the melody playing in his heart and he had a plan! But now his mom and sister are texting him and teasing him and apparently he has MORE competition! Who do these people think they are to deserve Marinette! No! Luka won't lose Jagged has been teaching him to be bold and confident! And Marinette is worth all of his efforts! Jagged REGRETS NOTHING even if Penny confiscated the tv remote!

Marinette meanwhile has no idea what's going on because the whole class made a dumb bet on when the designer would notice with one of the bet conditions being that no one could tip Marinette off and that they have to keep her away from Paparazzi so they dont spoil it either. And sense Alya is helping manage Marinette’s social media Marinette hasn't looked at it yet so she has NO idea what's happening. But her birthday is coming up next week and Chloe definitely didn't get dibs on planning a surprise party for her all so she could spoil the girl and RUB her GREAT relationship with Marinette into her competitions FACES! The competition however (and Adrien JustAfriend Agreste) have decided that they really aren't going down without a fight!

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#my fic #kagaminette #lukanette #adrienette #chlonette #chloenette #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #everyone loves marinette #kagami tsurugi #adrien agreste #felinette #felix graham de vanily #chloe sugar #chloe bourgeois #ml prompt

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disillusioned41 · 3 years

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Not waiting before such thinking takes firmer hold or begins to be put into action, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is speaking out forcefully against radical centrist pundits, so-called "Never-Trump Republicans," and corporate-friendly Democratic operatives trying to advance a post-election narrative that the Democratic Party's growing progressive base is a faction to be sidelined as opposed to one that should be embraced.

"I need my colleagues to understand that we are not the enemy. And that their base is not the enemy. That the Movement for Black Lives is not the enemy, that Medicare for All is not the enemy."—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

As much of the nation—and the world—celebrated Joe Biden's historic defeat of President Donald Trump on Saturday, Ocasio-Cortez gave an interview to the New York Times in which she repudiated those in recent days who have tried to cast a new wave of progressive lawmakers—backed by an army of like-minded supporters and organizers—as somehow dangerous to the party.

Epitomized by a comment that made the rounds on social media Saturday by former Ohio governor John Kasich, a lifelong Republican, the thinking goes that progressives policy solutions (which, in fact, turn out to be highly popular with voters across the political spectrum)—such as Medicare for All, forgiving student loan debt, expanding Social Security, a massive federal increase to the minimum wage, a green energy transition and jobs program, demanding racial justice, and working to end mass incarceration—are toxic politically to Democrats.

"The Democrats have to make it clear to the far-left that they almost cost him this election," said Kasich, who endorsed Biden earlier this year and was given a speaking role at the party's convention this summer, during a CNN interview Saturday. The comments quickly drew ire among progressives, who have condemned the very idea that figures like Kasich should have any say whatsoever in the party's future projection.

"Yesterday," tweeted People for Bernie on Sunday morning in response to the comments, "we officially entered a new era of not listening to anything John Kasich says. The era will continue until further notice."

And Ocasio-Cortez was among those who rebuked the remarks online as she defended her fellow Squad member, Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.), from the insinuation that progressive House victories in key districts didn't play a large role—as observers have pointed out—in helping deliver the White House for Biden.

"John Kasich, who did not deliver Ohio to Dems, is saying folks like Omar, who did deliver Minnesota, are the problem," Ocasio-Cortez tweeted in direct response to his comments. "Please don't take these people seriously and go back to celebrating and building power."

Common Dreams reported Thursday how Omar in Minnesota—just like Rep. Rashida Tlaib in her Detroit, Michigan district—were "major factors" in helping Biden pull away from Trump in those key battleground states.

In her interview with the Times, published late Saturday night, the New York Democrat—who won her reelection with nearly 70% of the vote in her district—elaborated on that dynamic.

"If the party believes after 94 percent of Detroit went to Biden, after Black organizers just doubled and tripled turnout down in Georgia, after so many people organized Philadelphia, the signal from the Democratic Party is the John Kasichs won us this election?" said AOC. "I mean, I can't even describe how dangerous that is."

On Sunday, Ocasio-Cortez joined CNN's Jake Tapper to discuss the issues she raised in the Times interview and also emphasized the need for Democrats, as a party, to come together in unity:

Progressives like Mike Casca, former communications director for Bernie Sanders' 2020 campaign, applauded Ocasio-Cortez for both her critique and outspokenness.

"What I love most about this interview, and AOC," commented journalist Alice Speri on Saturday morning, "is that she says what she thinks, pulls no punches, and puts her name to it. Just imagine if journalists stopped allowing politicians to stay anonymous for no reason other than their lack of courage."

Tana Ganeva, a criminal justice reporter, said: "AOC is so fucking smart. I can't believe there was actually an effort to deem her 'not smart.' This is the smartest analysis I've read in months."

In the interview—in which she acknowledged that internally within the party "it's been extremely hostile to anything that even smells progressive" since she arrived in 2018—Ocasio-Cortez expressed frustration that the more left-leaning members of the caucus are now under attack for losses suffered by its more centrist members.

What the election results have shown thus far, she said, is "that progressive policies do not hurt candidates. Every single candidate that co-sponsored Medicare for All in a swing district kept their seat. We also know that co-sponsoring the Green New Deal was not a sinker."

Instead of blaming for progressives—something that ousted Florida Democrat, Rep. Donna Shalala, did on a caucus conference call after her defeat last week—Ocasio-Cortez said the party needs to have a much more serious look at what led to those failures.

As she told the Times: "If I lost my election, and I went out and I said: "This is moderates' fault. This is because you didn't let us have a floor vote on Medicare for all. And they opened the hood on my campaign, and they found that I only spent $5,000 on TV ads the week before the election? They would laugh. And that's what they look like right now trying to blame the Movement for Black Lives for their loss."

Ocasio-Cortez said the party must begin to examine some of its entrenched belief systems—as well as internal power structures—so it can have a more honest assessment of where shortcomings exist and how to better prepare for the future:

There's a lot of magical thinking in Washington, that this is just about special people that kind of come down from on high. Year after year, we decline the idea that they did work and ran sophisticated operations in favor of the idea that they are magical, special people. I need people to take these goggles off and realize how we can do things better. If you are the D.C.C.C., and you're hemorrhaging incumbent candidates to progressive insurgents, you would think that you may want to use some of those firms. But instead, we banned them.

So the D.C.C.C. banned every single firm that is the best in the country at digital organizing.

The leadership and elements of the party—frankly, people in some of the most important decision-making positions in the party—are becoming so blinded to this anti-activist sentiment that they are blinding themselves to the very assets that they offer.

Ocasio-Cortez further explained that while she and others have tried to get other members to modernize their campaign operations, those offers have persistently been rebuffed.

"I've been begging the party to let me help them for two years," she said. "That's also the damn thing of it. I've been trying to help. Before the election, I offered to help every single swing district Democrat with their operation. And every single one of them, but five, refused my help. And all five of the vulnerable or swing district people that I helped secured victory or are on a path to secure victory. And every single one that rejected my help is losing. And now they’re blaming us for their loss."

"So I need my colleagues to understand that we are not the enemy," she continued. "And that their base is not the enemy. That the Movement for Black Lives is not the enemy, that Medicare for All is not the enemy. This isn't even just about winning an argument. It's that if they keep going after the wrong thing, I mean, they're just setting up their own obsolescence."

And what if the Biden administration takes the lead of people like Kasich—of whom there is much chatter that he could serve in the next cabinet—and proves itself hostile to its progressive base?

"Well, I'd be bummed, because we’re going to lose. And that's just what it is," responded Ocasio-Cortez, who elsewhere said it is her simple belief that "people really want the Democratic Party to fight for them" and that it's the party's responsibility to show that not in words, but in deed.

"It's really hard for us to turn out nonvoters when they feel like nothing changes for them," she warned. "When they feel like people don't see them, or even acknowledge their turnout."

#Common Dreams #us politics #2020 election #centrism #aocroptop

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quackspot · 4 years

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i started thinking about that gay bastard oc of yours. platano. can u tell me about him

omg u wer thinkgin about platano..... mr banana man... mr 4011. i am obsessed with the banana code srry i just got back from work (it was good :-D)

any way. um. im going below the cut. he kidnaps people and he murders people and i hate him because he’s also a massive weeb so. hm

HISTORY OF PLATANO... yea his name is spanish for banana

his father, pablo, will probably get a name change someday but i literally never think of his father since the only thing he did in platano’s backstory was disappear

since platano’s world has characters based off like. fruits and vegetables (there aren’t really any limit to what the characters are based off of. it was in my lazy google translate name phase so we have like... a gay character named arcenciel who becomes dadlike through my powerful canon-changing touch. also arcenciel wears the colors of the rainbow as often as he can i haven’t figured out a good design for him since i’m not used to using more than 5 colors. he also owns a hat factory)

i think arcenciel and platano are friends they met when platano was like. 17 probably and arcenciel would be around uhhhhh ummmmmmm 21??? idk man but in canon he’s probably around 30 . yes i m saying “in canon” because i wrote a really dumb and horrible story back in 2018 arcenciel used to have HUGE internalized homophobia and i turned that into a running joke and i dislike that so that’s a reason why i’m not sharing the fun little story i wrote for my friends

(the best part of that story is when arcenciel threw his light-up rainbow heelies at platano, thus starting the boss fight which the main cast LOST.)

ok back to the topic at hand. platano.

i have a whole doc named platano where i just wrote drabbles about him so i’m going to summarize them

the first one was his friend, percisi (my only cishet oc he’s very short and very aggressive while also dressing in a soft-colored turtleneck since he’s based off of peaches) using a misunderstood form of satanism to summon satan. guess what percisi and platano summoned satan for. it was a manga update! wow

i won’t say the mangas name it was an inside joke

so platano was like “hey satan can i have this manga now please please” and satan went “sure just kill people for me”

that determined platanos job for the next 7 or so years <3 wonderful.

(it was basically me writing a backstory for a scene to happen in the main writing i wrote for my friends. he killed someone because someone else in the building was trying to summon satan. very confusing but okay i guess.)

i think right after that i wrote about platano meeting his boyfriend, sage, for the first time. i have horribly mixed feelings about their relationship since it’s very. Hm.

so platano kidnaps people to watch anime with him because all his friends left him and his best friend, mangue, is too busy being a dictator over the Land of the Fruits. i shit you not fruits oppressed the vegetables. i wrote that dynamic between the two because i was learning about the revolutionary war in US History. something like that at least

(the Land of the Fruits is not the official name)

on the topic of kidnapping people. guess who his favorite person was. sage. it was sage. so he tried to take sage often but they probably discussed Proper boundaries since everyone else tried to run away. hmm i am now going to write a bit right now

“Platano,” Sage started. “Why do you keep kidnapping me? It’s rude and I hate it.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” The yellow-haired fool leaned on his sword, digging the tip deeper into the ground.

“ASK ME IF I WANT TO HANG OUT??”

“I can do that?”

“You keep making my dads worried.” Sage looked around the area, fidgeting with his hands.

“Oh. Okay. Want to hang out? Watch some anime?” Platano paused for a moment, but managed to say “Maybe kiss?” before Sage got to answer.

“I- KISS??? We can watch anime together. We can go now.”

Sage ushered Platano through a portal as fast as he could.

His dads were never worried.

hmmm maybe that’s alright idk i’m a little tired so it’s probably a little out of character. sage probably isn’t that loud but i think it was trying to be the dynamic of “oh, we’re not dating” when they kiss every sunday at 5 pm by a romantic river scene

he’s a character who is, at his very core, horrible and bad. he is portrayed in a way i DESPISE but i’m too lazy to correct it. his interest in sage actually started with me going “hmm i think platano would draw sage like this” then sauce giving me fun facts about his oc, sage, yea sage is sauce’s oc <3 epic win . so sauce gave me fun facts about sage and i was like “time to doodle these in platanos ‘art style’” when in reality it’s just the mockery of people just getting into an anime art style, with the chin so pointy it could cut a cake

i might reread my old writing from 2018. i gotta agree with the judges for that year i did not write very well

it mightve actually been made in 2017 which would be FUCKIN CRAZY im gonna check rn

yea it was started in 2018. february 14th... huh . finished it completely in june of that year it was 41 pages total and it’s not even double spaced how did i write something without double spacing it

OH MY GOD BOB IS GOING TO HIJACK THIS RANT JUST FOR A LITTLE

so bob is a fluffy little anthro cloud with a grey top hat and bowtie. he is amazing. i love bob. bob is another one of sauce’s character and mangue (mentioned earlier) was made by my friend jamie

(you can always ask for their tumblrs but i’d ask them if its okay to share their tumblrs. i might just look at them and reblog their stuff cuz i like their art!!! maybe jamie posted a drawing she made recently on her blog but tbh i don’t think she would she’s more of a twitter user)

ok so im skimming thru UMG which is the story it stands for “Universe of Magic Gardens” and it was originally made for a prank on ponytown so people would go “what’s UMG” and my friends and i would be like “ur mom gay xDDDDDD” or something like that . horrible but i’m glad i’ve changed from . that.

here’s a bit i actually like AKLJFISJFIO

“What the actual FUCK, Ilkie?!” Arcenciel cringed in fear. “Put it back- it’s too ugly.” He pointed at Platano, whose arms were crossed.

why is it bolded. anyway.

i just saw a part where eau used y’all... water cowboy moments <333 i really need to make refs for all of those old characters. all of my umg-related characters have to be my oldest-living ocs.

i cant believe this is making me genuinely reread my old writing just to go “WJHFSIDAJKSFIOJ WTF????”

some of the lines on it sound like something you would hear on like. a school bus or somethin

looking at umg like “wtf how did i add so much Meat to this writing” bc most of my writing now is mostly quotations to progress the story (like the quickie i wrote earlier. i could add meat to it but im tired lol)

OK THIS IS MORE GENERAL BUT MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THIS WAS WRITING HAIKUS FOR PORTALS. after you visit a place enough times it’s kind of just an instinct to open a portal there so you don’t have to recite a haiku

uhh ok here’s another bit becuase im feeling like living la vida loca. ur biggest regret should be “can you tell me about him” by this point bc i’ve written too much to go back now

He landed on his face once he was outside of the hat. Meko quickly walked over to the guest room, opened the Portals for Dummies book, and flipped to a page. It looked devious.

“Banana, mango,

Each tasting amazingly.

A taste of evil.”

Meko did the dance on the page, it consisted of something that looks like it’s from an anime. A portal opened, the familiar scent of bananas and mangoes coming from it. With some hesitation, Meko stepped in. He quickly made it so only his head peeked in.

it wasnt bolded this time but i like it bolded. ok i understand how i added meat it was just shitty expired meat ALKFSJSHDAIUJKFEIODSJAK . it wasnt even that much meat DAMN. it just looked like more.

actually that’s all i will write. i could do more w platano but yea at his base he is a blonde twink who kills people because he wanted a manga but now he’s friends with a dictator. woo! wow. amazing character writing. i cant wait to get motivation to rewrite everything and make platano a good villain (he will still be very interested in anime sadly. idk why around that time i liked making characters who were obsessed with anime i didn’t even watch it much myself. i think it was because i wanted to put capes on them)

#I REALLY WENT SLIGHTLY OFF-TOPIC #like i went broader then refocused in at the end #so if you want the basics its just. right at the end #my brain's out of work mode now it's going into the deepfry machine #melon-official

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mazojo · 5 years

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Mad Drunk MC + RFA Headcanons

Okay so I am kinda scared of posting this as I usually do head canons and erase them as I don't think they are good enough but I am taking a risk kinda soo pardon my rambling... If anyone has any requests or ideas of hc ill gladly give it a try <33

So the situation is mc being drunk after a fight with the RFA members and their reaction to calm her down and take her home/to sleep. Enjoy ~

Yoosung

They were at home playing games when they had a fight due to Yoosung getting mad he lost. MC tried lightening the mood but he was too mad to listen and snapped at her, which led her to go to the kitchen and grab a drink too many. After cooling down Yoosung goes to seek her and finds her sprawled on the sofa. He gathers some courage by downing a drink and approaches her.

He finds himself a bit tipsy as he approaches MC

You look cute all flushed and let’s not fight anymore? God I am an idiot aren't I?

MC sees him, her eyes hardening and she starts yelling nonsense at him and his stupid game.

While she is yelling he keeps thinking about how soft her lips look and how a strand of hair keeps hiding her beautiful eyes. He notices how her eyes grow bigger when she is mad, so cute.

God I want to kiss her, does she know I want to kiss her?

“You care more about your stupid stupid games than me!”

How can she even think that? She is his entire world and no virtual character could compete against her. Ever.

He can’t handle it anymore so he kisses her, shutting her up.

Why are her lips so soft? Is she really all mine? I think I am dreaming, this is definitely a dream.

As she pulls away her frown lessens and he apologizes, she can't stay mad for long with that cute face he makes when apologizing.

He takes her hand and they both stumble into bed giggling and after kissing for a while they both fall asleep with a smile in their faces

Zen

It was a long day on set and the director kept Zen longer than planned. MC had prepared a surprise dinner which eventually went cold and led her to drink all the alcohol she had reserved for the romantic evening. Zen arrives tired after a long day and seeing the candles and cold food internally kicks himself as he approaches mc who has her head laying on the table.

Zen lightly touches her head to see if she is awake and she sits up immediately, as she sees him she pouts and turns away.

MC starts speaking gibberish and pointing a finger accusatory at him.

“I am going to speak to that director of yours! how dare him? the nerve of keeping you away from my surprise. There really are some inconsiderate people in this world! th-”

How much did she drink? She is going to have a serious hangover

“Babe, we can discuss things later but for now you should sleep, okay my princess?”

“Don't “my princess” me! I am my own damn princess”

Zen tries to repress a chuckle as MC refuses to go to bed and as he starts to lift her up she scrambles away and sits down in the floor to prove her point.

Zen smirks at how cute she puffs her cheeks when mad.

God bless messaging apps

“You leave me no option” he says as he carries MC bridal style to the room.

MC tried to fight it by sloppily hitting Zen but eventually gives up and falls asleep on his arms.

“So cute and stubborn...” Zen whispers as he sets her down and makes sure she’s comfortable by laying her on the softest pillow.

Forehead kiss as he lays at her side and she fall asleep in his arms

Jaehee

Jaehee was supposed to pick up MC after work on her office because of their anniversary but as work keeps coming in, Jumin lets her off later. Just when she is heading out she realizes how late it is and how MC has been waiting for almost 1 hour to pick her up. She dials MC’s number but it goes off to voice message and when she arrives at MC’s office she is nowhere to be seen. Jaehee starts to panic but just as she is about to head to the police look for her she spots her in a bar next to the office mumbling to herself.

Jaehee quickly enters the bar and drags MC away paying for the tab.

MC stumbles out mindlessly until she realizes its Jaehee and giving her an icy look turns away.

“Look, I am sorry... I know I was supposed to come but you know Jumin and his cat projects... I promise ill make it up to you and...” she trails off seeing as MC is looking the other way while she is repeating everything she just said in a mocking voice.

Sigh, she is lucky she’s cute.

It’s cold out and as they are walking towards Jaehee’s car, she notices how MC is shivering due to the cold weather.

Jaehee takes off her coat and wraps it around mc

She blushes and looks at Jaehee for the first time since the fight, stopping her gibberish mumbling.

“Look I am sorry if I upset you but it’s freezing and I don’t want you catching a cold and also you may wa-“

MC interrupts Jaehee by kissing her and mumbles an apology for acting like a child.

Jaehee smiles and as she tucks away a strand of hair she resume kissing her in the cold, suddenly feeling very warm.

Saeyoung

Although the agency Saeyoung worked for didn't exist anymore, he was doing some investigating jobs he couldn't decline. MC was uneasy about the whole situation and tried confronting him about it, only to have him snap at her. Angry and frustrated, MC goes out of the house slamming the door leaving Saeyoung embarrassed and regretful for snapping at her. Although she didn't know, he had installed a tracker to know where she was on her phone. He tracked her down and found her in a park bench nearby with a bottle in hand.

“Come on babe we are going home”

MC stares daggers at Saeyoung, “Hell no, I am not going where I am not wanted” she huffs and crosses her arms dramatically.

Saeyoung sighs, of course she wants her, he just doesn't want her to get involved in the dangerous aspects

Saeyoung grabs her by the arm and brings her up from the bench, noticing her resisting efforts.

God she is so damn stubborn but it’s also makes me like her more? Is that even possible?

Mc is lightly hitting his arm and talking gibberish.

“ The Nerve Saeyoung, the nerve to drag meee inside. Go be with your chips and soda, have fun its not lik-”

She stumbles as he is dragging her they are walking and MC trips.

He grabs her by the waist and steadies her.

“W-why are you so cute and frustrating when all I want is for you to be safe?” Cant she see he is protecting her?

MC tries to get away from the embrace but he holds on, a slight smile appearing on his face.

He tightens the embrace as he says “I am not letting you go before you say the magical words”

MC is struggling to get away while lightly insulting him and Saeyoung is laughing.

She suddenly stops struggling turning to face Saeyoung

“I know your weakness” MC says a mocking tone in her slurred words, as he shuts him up with a fiery kiss.

Saeyoung suddenly lets her go pink tinting his cheeks.

“I-I... y-you...” MC laughs at his sudden shyness and they start heading home.

“Ill make it up to you, defender seven zero seven will always protect you” and as she snuggles closer he guides her home.

Jumin

MC and Jumin went out to eat at a fancy restaurant. The same day, an important deal at the company was done, thus Jumin kept receiving calls throughout the meal. Everytime MC tried talking to him they seemed to be interrupted thus MC started drinking more wine than she should have. They exit the restaurant and head to the car were the chauffeur awaited.

He is oblivious that she is mad as they both walk in silence.

MC, suddenly wanting him to notice her, walks in front of Jumin and stands her ground puffing her cheeks.

Jumin is taken aback by her sudden approach and almost slams into her

She is drunk, with her light figure and low tolerance to drinks he should have been more attentive.

“We must hurry to the car, it’s getting late and I don’t want you getting a hangover and a cold”

Mc refuses to move and Jumin sighs.

“You ignored me alllll night and now want meee to move?” She says doing exaggerated hand motions and enlarging her words for emphasis.

Was he ignoring her? Hmmm but didn't she noticed how he lived for that smile on her face when she got all excited with the fillet and how he made sure to order her favorite wine? He must ensure next time she knows this details.

Jumin notices how flushed she gets while mad. Cute.

She isn’t going to move without an apology huh?

“MC I apologize if my actions and behavior made you mad but please get in the car or else you will catch a cold and then I will have to take a few days leave off work to take care of you. Of course, you could alwa-“

MC interrupts Jumin by giving him a peck to shut him up, when he gets on his rambles he never shuts up, he cares.

Slight blush as MC drunkenly puts her head in his shoulder and they walk to the car waiting for them down the block

As the chauffeur drives them home, MC cuddles on Jumin’s shoulder and as he looks at her he promises to be more attentive, he’ll ensure to turn off the phone next dinner and prepare the pancakes for breakfast he knew she loved.

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thataveragewriter · 5 years

Text

Markus x reader - Everything will be alright

A/N: Hey so this is sort of long with 2k words again, cant help it with these boys. Based the work on this prompt ;

“They were looking, but I didn’t care. I ran to him anyway.”

Slight Angst

The time of the revolution was a grueling and difficult time for both humans and androids alike. The discrimination faced by the androids was simply unjust and biased for the human satisfaction. The masses would often judge someone if they treated an android as an equal, it felt wrong on some many levels. At a point in your life, your views of androids correlated to the masses, they were nothing but machines. Whilst being Carl’s neighbour, you often times went over to paint with him and keep him company. Carl’s view of androids seemed to make you reevaluate and think differently about androids and made you have sympathy for them. That was when he introduced Markus, his carer. Markus had a pleasant and soothing aura surrounding him, it made you feel at home. His gentle words made your gut flutter with excitement, the way he addresses you in a familiar fashion made you fall for the android. Despite the inevitable fact that humans would replace their human partners for androids, it was still a taboo topic to discuss. Which is why you hid the fact you began developing feelings for the android carer. Carl, being the wise old man he was, obviously noticed the way your demeanor changed whenever you would arrive and talk to Markus with a shy smile and gentle words. He had often encouraged you to manifest your feelings. Saying things as “love doesn’t discriminate, neither should anyone.” And “I’m certain you would help Markus understand himself better than I could ever teach him”. You would shy away at these encouragements.

Markus had begun feeling a certain wave of emotions whenever he saw you. Your friendly figure would linger around him for prolonged amount of times which he thoroughly enjoyed. He would have a content attitude and a more vocal approach to you when you would come over. It would be small moments like when you would accompany him in making breakfast where the pair of you felt a connection. Moments when you would accidentally touch his smooth synthetic skin when passing the salt or when he taught you how to play the piano, you’d feel the soothing warmth radiating off him and a shock of excitement would fill your being.

It wasn’t until that fateful day when Leo showed up unannounced to Carl’s house. You had accompanied the pair to the Charity Ball, in which Markus had whole heartedly complimented your outfit. In the moments leading up to Leo’s death, something in Markus had snapped when Leo had directed his insults at you.

“You treat her like your own daughter when you don’t even care for your own son!” Leo screamed at Carl, clearly frustrated.

“That’s because I don’t come crawling asking for money for drug abuse!” you defended Carl, anger stricken from Leo’s delusions.

“I wasn’t talking to you, you bitch!” He yelled and raised his fist as if to hit you.

You tightly closed your eyes, hearing Carl scream for Leo to stop as you waited for the impact. When you didn’t feel anything, you slowly opened your eyes to see Markus standing in front of you, his arms shielding him from Leo’s assault. It ached your heart seeing him get hurt for you. You instantly knew your feelings for him were real when it physically pained you seeing him protect you and getting hurt in the process.

“Leo! Stop it!” Carl’s yelled and rolled over to stand between him and Markus.

“ Markus, are you hurt ?” You touched his shoulder as a sign of comfort.

“I’m fine, are you alright [name]?” He responded looking into your eyes, emotions filled his whole form.

“Oh would you look at that, the bitch is in love with a plastic” Leo pushed passed his father to push and threaten Markus.

Carl had attempted to stop his deranged son but to no avail. You had also tried to pull Markus away but Leo would interject. It wasn’t until Carl gave Markus that one command which would change the fate of history.

“Don’t defend yourself, Markus!”

Who would’ve known, one simple command would be the cause of an uprising. The situation escalated, in which resulted in the death of Leo. Markus had realized his mistake.

“You need to leave Markus, NOW!” Carl yelled as he cradled his dead son.

“Markus, you have to run. GO!” you pleaded as tears rolled your down your eyes.

“Please Carl, I don’t want to leave you and [name]. I don’t want to go, [name] I can’t leave you” Markus desperately begged, tears rolling down his eyes as he fanatically looked at you.

It crushed your soul seeing the man you began to love get shot in front of you. It destroyed you internally.

---

You followed the revolution through the news networks, your views on androids strengthening at every movement. When the androids had taken over the news networks to broadcast their deal, you felt a sense of familiarity in the android’s voice and his passion. It struck you, it was your deceased lover, Markus. When you found out this revelation, you had closely began to keep up with him and his whereabouts. Of course it was damn near impossible, he had to be cunning and smart to survive whilst you had the advantage of being human and searched for him. Your search for him went unsuccessful for a great while, your chances running low as he became the face of the revolution.

Then, it was the day of the demonstration. November 11th.

The media outlet was present at the peaceful android demonstration, documenting history unfolding. You watched the TV closely, looking for any signs of Markus. You noticed it was being broadcasted live from the Hart Plaza, not too far from where you resided.

‘Markus has to be there!’ You thought as you got ready to run in the freezing night for your lover.

As you ran, the glacial wind smacked against your soft skin but you carried on. With determination and hope of seeing Markus alive, prompted you to carry on. As you ran, you saw dozens of SWAT vehicles surround the town centre. Authoritative figures with heavy rifles stood guard, questioning any passing individual for their reason of being out late. They stopped you, in doubts of whether you’re human or a deviant.

“Sorry ma’am, its past curfew you should return home” They replied.

“I’m a reporter for [newspaper] I was ordered to document this” You lied attempting to hurry the soldier.

“Alright but be careful, there are deviants there” they said before they allowed you to continue.

The harsh lights beating down on you, almost a shimmer of hope that everything will be alright. You got closer and noticed a whole crowd of people. Your legs ached from the running but you carried on. The noise of gunshots, flash bombs being detonated sounded throughout the space.

“what’s happening ? Why are they shooting, it was a peaceful demonstration!” you questioned, frustrated by the action of the soldiers.

“The deviants didn’t take the deal” someone had replied.

You push passed the crowd and came to the front of the barricade, safe from the commotion. From your stance you saw him. You saw Markus and other deviants cornered like animals waiting to be slaughtered. The field was littered with the bodies of unfortunate androids who lost their life to a caused they believed in. Markus had his hands up, a motion of surrender. A wave of emotions came crashing, feelings of love, fear and frustration filled your core. Your eyes welled from seeing Markus alive and still fighting for a good cause. The immense feeling of adoration took over your body and you clutched your chest. You feared for him and the other deviants as the guns were pointed directly towards them.

It wasn’t until Markus stepped forward.

“Hold on just a little while longer” He sang.

The other deviants followed his verse. The song struck the hearts of everyone in the area. It was simple melody that held a million emotions, millions more were evoked. Your eyes teared up at this beautiful action, Markus’s perfectly synched voice held so much passion.

“Everything will be alright”

This was your queue. It was now or never.

“Markus!” You yelled as jumped the barricade and sprinted towards him.

The look of shock, confusion and yearning filled his heterochromic eyes. His mechanical heart began to beat faster at the sight of your running form toward him. Markus began walking forward to you.

The soldiers were ordered to stay down, which allowed you to keep running to your lover. They were looking, but you didn’t care. You ran to him. Markus held his arms open, a tender smile graced his face as tears streamed down his cheeks.

“[Name]” he softly said as you launched yourself at the man.

His arms immediately wrapping themselves around you protectively. You tightly hugged his lean form and softly cried into his chest. His warmth became comforting against the frosty November night. You pulled back and stared deeply into his coloured eyes with a gentle smile upon your lips, he smiled back and began leaning in. His warm lips collided with your soft pair. All the stored feelings of worry, anger and frustration melted away in the moment. Your heart exploded with immense feeling of relief. Markus was safe and in your arms.

Markus felt his whole being change. The immense rush of love, excitement filled his form as he deepened the kiss. He had never stopped thinking about you from the moment he got shot, guilt had overtaken him then. Now all those feelings were replaced by hope. Hope for a better future for all androids and human. A better future for you and Markus.

You pulled back, slightly out of breath. You reached your hand and cupped his scarred cheek, softly caressing with your thumb.

“I love you so much Markus, I never stopped thinking about you” you confessed smiling, tears stained your cheeks.

Markus leaned in and kissed the top of your head.

“I never stopped dreaming of seeing your beautiful face again [name], I love you for not giving up on me despite everything” He spoke softly, wiping your tears away and a sad smile visible.

“You made it, Markus. You’ve freed your people, I’m so proud of you” You say as you leaned up to peck his lips once more.

Your reunion would change the course of history, a human and an android fighting together for the freedom of love. You became Markus’s companion in the developing fight and agreement of the new constitutional right for androids. It was a long way to go but with your lover beside you, you could conquer anything.

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alschain · 5 years

Text

I honestly can't post more random shit on twitter so here's where I'll store my garbage brain reading magi comic

- I SHIP TOTO AND MORGIANA how dare you sink my ship with only like 2 chapters

- finally reached them plot beyond anime adaptation and first thing we learn, someone need to water spray Alibaba's horny ass

- Yunan and Sinbad bicker back and forth...? Must be exes (nod) also Yunan you fucking twink

- but he's an intellectual twink I approve

- kou empire being a commentary on ancient china (even china today) and it's ideology of unification by not accepting diversity but promoting a single culture language and customs that are it's own is not a critique of communism rather colonialism....thank you

- maybe it's too quick to judge but good grief I hate people like koumei the most :( being able to rationalize and institutionalize violation of human rights is a lot scarier than any crazy loony. And it honestly is some 1984 shit going on here

- oh.............................

- Ithnan is a gay baby

- so the story of alma toran, shares the same core idea of Jesus Christ Superstar (jokes aside the discussion of power and divinity is really fucking beautiful

- It is incredibly distracting however that in a magical world deeply rooted in Arabic culture, people have names like Solomon or Sheba or Ugo that the ultimate villain is just called, David. Like some guy from work

- final chapter of the arc looping back to aladdin wishing to be friend with ugo....It's fucking poetic, it's fucking beautiful. The whole alma toran story obviously isn't telling us that Solomon's will is just good, or that he did everything right. Just like he once did, aladdin is now questioning the world's principal and all acting from the base desire of happiness. I don't think my sleep deprived mind grasped or made sense of everything going on here but damn, this is good shit

- I read shonen to feel good about myself and the world because they get cool powers and unconditional friends and most importantly through trial and error they actually win. But damn is it suffocating to read magi (but in a good way), nihilism, existentialism, philosophies I contemplate all day every day being presented in such a way is really, idk, making me sad, just like the real world

- Hakuryuu and Judar's fight against Arba is so fucking good..............and my god all these motherfuckers from Kou are scary. But I just want to hug these two sad boys, which is not saying that I think their thinking is rights or makes sense it's just...you can't blame them, and bitch I relate. Being unable to escape a loop of hate and anger for so long and so much that you internalized it to become something much worse.......and that makes you doubt even more about yourself and the people around you. Which is why therapy is important, at least for me lol.

- SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THIS FUCKING FIGHT????? WHY??????????? WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO EACH OTHER IT'S SO MISERABLE I CANT-

- Aladdin's expression.......INSTANT TEARS

- he's so pure I'm crying

- Sinbad you actual SON OF A BITCH

- SINBADDDD WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE WHO?????? And putting Sinbad' adventures in his younger days into perspective it's just fucking tragic, if you have to be a piece of shit fine but what about the good people and their good intentions..............

- FUCK I knew one of them is going to die out of the fucking blue and I know I said I hated koumei but, FUCK

- jfc it's so............miserable....................

- human justice change, and as long as we are able to question it, the world would be a better place, and we are able to move forward, to have meaning. I want to hug Hakuryuu until he can't breath.

- oh no kougyoku.......come here that's right Sinbad is a piece of shit

- wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait WHAT

- she..!!! he......!!!!!!! Can she do it to literally anyone furthermore does, does like Ja'far know about......him???!?!????!?!!!????

- damn the opening chapter of the final arc is so beautifully done it's fucking art.

- To think that I was so obsessed with Yunan when I was like 13 first watching Magi anime...he's actually just a sad twink

- they got cars???? They got phones????? They got fucking planes??????? I've only ever seen fantasy + technology as in steampunk but this shit, it's purely magical, and it makes sense holy shit

- the gags in Magi are one of the greatest I swear they are so random

- this is...genius, it's not a conflict of communism and capitalism but rather the culture rooted in Eastern and Western civilizations and the different difficulties they face stepping into this new world.......these two economic system aren't inherently eastern and western either, it's just, cultures, and the conflict created thus.

- and Alibaba are you our socialism icon??

- no wait wtf alibaba WHAT fucking plan is this that's not how, that's not how it works. To introduce a concept previously foreign to the population is not to domesticated it like that...? It suggests that....people can't change, culture can't change, Idk it's kinda worrying. But I do understand, as a temporary measure :/

- ALIBABA. YOU. GREAT. HUMAN. BEING.

- fuck capitalism and monopoly fuck you Sinbad

- this is the scariest shit I've ever seen good grief arba can you not

- I'm going to say it while I still can without being creepy since technically I'm still a teen? Aladdin how is he hot af now

- now that I think more about it Hakuryuu's redemption happens so naturally, it makes me so happy to see the struggle for truth and happiness is achieved through one's reflection, coming to terms with mistakes. Again this shit is fucking beautiful.

- Alibaba Keanu Reeves Saluja ("no, you're amazing"

- YUNANNNNNNNNN NOOOOOOOO

- I fucking love Yunan I just really like this character ever since the first time I watched magi for some strange reason and NOW NOOOOOOOO WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOY

- Hakuryuu could be in a infomercial about insects repellant by now things would be much easier if you know his arms could stop getting bit/stung by snake/scorpion

- "can I have an Apple now Mr driver" ALADDIN YOU BIG FLIRT I WILL DIE WITH THIS SHIP and damn his change is even more oblivious put next to Alibaba

- crybaby Hakuryuu.....they all changed but hasn't at the same time I'm crying

- is Hakuryuu me?????????? Crying all night after getting wasted

- two minutes after I said I'll die with the ship....the ship died, bye everybody

- just kidding Alibaba and Mor as so sweet it's just I really ship Aladdin and alibaba....I get more and more estranged feeling as I keep reading because it's not silly, feel-good adventures anymore, "少年漫" 里面的 "少年感" 被渐渐冲淡了因为真实世界比魔法对决宏大多了. I mean, it doesn't seem real that Alibaba and Mor are getting married, I still see them as hot headed companions that are teens going for their dreams against a whole unkind world, it just doesn't seem real. But not in remotely any bad way, it's me who hasn't grown up, I guess.

- that said you guys can really just start with, a relationship? Ya know???? "Lets become husband and wife" I can't take this it's too fast lmao

- NO STOP PUTTING ALADDIN AND KOUGYOKU TOGETHER I DONT LIKE IT (they are both lovely people I just don't like it#!!!!!!! They had zero chemistry#!!#!!#!!!!!!!! It's weird!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I refuse everyone's getting fucking married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- stop.......being..........so.............full of yourself, sinbad

- what, the, fuck, is, going, on

- what

- the

- fuck

-Sinbad

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boojersey · 5 years

Note

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

#LONG POST #KAY I LOVE U BUT HOLY SHIT MY FOLLOWERS ARE GONNA GET MOTION SICKNESS FROM SCROLLING PAST THIS AT LIGHTNING SPEED #saltwaterfox

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likeadrug-ff · 6 years

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O N E

L O N D Y N

Here I am, in the back of my best friends, Kaiden, car with my legs spread wide open. “Kaiden..” Him blowing on my opening make my talking come to halt as I threw my head back. I felt soft wet kisses along my second set of lips and that alone had me letting out low moans.

When I felt like I had enough strength, I pressed my palm against his forehead and managed to get him to lift his head. Kaiden gazed up at me looking high as hell. “Whats up Rose?” I loved when he called me by my middle name and just that fast, I had forgot what I wanted to say. I shook my head and motioned for him to continue.

“Lon! There yall are, oouu..” That was my beautiful, sassy, and hotheaded sister Loryn. She gave Kaiden and I the meanest glare. ”Well thanks for disappearing, had me thinking yall left a bitch for dead.” The fact that my sister really thought I would just leave her high and dry is ridiculous.

She rolled her eyes and walked past us to the car. We followed her without caring to respond and thankful for her not questioning us. Silence filled the car as Kaiden drove us back home. My mind was racing and thinking about millions and one things. “Kaiden can we please stop to get something to eat? Please?” was the last thing I heard before I leaned against the window and closed my eyes.

—

The next morning I woke up with the worst headache. I noticed that it was two pills and a bottle of water on the nightstand and I silently thanked whoever placed them there. Sitting up I threw the pills back and washed them down with the water. I groaned lightly and sluggishly made my way to the bathroom.

I looked myself over in the mirror and shook my head with a wide grin on my face. I dont remember a lot from last night but I do remember the most important memory, getting head from Kaiden for the fist time. Shaking my head, I quickly did my hygiene.

“LoLo?” I heard a soft knock before the door opened. Every one of my sisters had a different nickname for me and vise versa. “You good? I heard yall was white boy wasted last night.” Lolani let out a small giggle and jumped up on the counter. I continued on with my morning routine and moisturized my face. “Please dont remind me.” I rolled my eyes and watched as she raised one brow. “I’ll go into detail later.”

She gave me a small nod and kissed my cheek before jumping down. “Oh yeah, can you cook breakfast please? Mommy went in early.” Our mom works her ass off twice as hard every since our father just up and left us. Said he couldnt afford two sets of twin daughters.

We both walked out the bathroom together and ended up meeting Loryn and Leilani in the kitchen. Loryn and I exchanged looks that made us both burst out into laughter. My cheeks were blushing red. The girls looked on at us like we had lost our damn mind. “Ok ok, spills the beans LoLo.”

“Wait until we’re all sitting down and eating.” I turned to the counter to see that this fat ass hoes had all the food laid out for me. I thank them for that but damn, who in the hell do they think is cooking all of this? Oh, thats right, me. I rolled my eyes at them and went to wash my hands at the sink.

“On a serious note, hows the job search going? Yall know we gotta at least try to help mama out.” I announced when I finally got myself together. About a week ago we had a sit down together as the FabFour, something our mom started calling us as she watched us bond, to start pitching in with the bills. Dont get me wrong my mama make good money but its the least we can do.

“I got a interview at the call center, Sykes. The only bad thing is that they do drug test.” Leilani is a huge pothead. This girl cant go a day without smoking a blunt. “And please dont forget to ask your manager about my application.” “Oh shit, thank you for reminding me. I work tomorrow.”

I sprayed down the pans and placed them on the stove. Cracking the eggs I added in the seasonings while looking over at Lolani. She was the youngest and most sensitive. She was watching me with the biggest smile on her face. “What?” I couldn’t help the smile that rose to my lips. “My professor offered me a job to intern in a pastry shop.”

She was so soft spoken and looked so innocent knowing damn well she wasnt. “I’ll be making good money and its guaranteed that I’ll have an official spot when I graduate college.” I couldn’t be more proud of her. “Thats my girl.” I responded with the same smile on my face.

“The grand opening for my shop is two weeks away.” Loryn chimed in next. She was overly excited about her natural hair shop and of course I couldn’t be more proud of my twin. She’s been working day and night for this. “I really need yall to be there, it’ll mean the world to me.” Here she goes.

“Why on earth wouldnt we be there? We wouldnt dare miss our sisters big day.” Leilani had to reassure her while Lolani and I nodded in agreement. The smile on Loryns face was bout big as I dont know what.

And as for me, Im a nurse. Looking after older and younger paitents, making sure they’re eating and excersing right. I also work at a retail store called Ollies Bargain Outlet. The managers are a pain in the ass and the coworkers love to kiss ass. I couldnt stand working there but its a job thats paying.

It took me about half an hour to finish breakfast. It looked like I fixed enough for a damn tribe but I mean it when I say that it’ll all be eaten. When we were all sitting down with full plates and our drinks, we looked around for someone to come forward and say prayer. When no one spoke up I sighed and bowed my head.

“Lord,” by this time they follwed my actions. “thank you for this food that we are about to recieve, I ask that you bless and nuture it. In Jesus name I pray, amen.” The repeated after me and no words were said after that. All you could hear was forks hitting plates and smacking here and there. “So, spill the beans.” Damn, I couldnt get anything pass these sisters of mine.

*flashback*

Walking inside the club lastnight with Loryn beside me, I scanned the place for Kaiden and his crew. He asked me to come out and have fun with them and I happily agreed. “You see them?” I leaned into her so she could hear me better.

She scanned around and took my hand leading me towards some stairs. Once Kaiden noticed us he started grinning and met us halfway at the rope. He unlocked it and welcomed us in. “Yall look good.” He bent down to hug us and handed us a shot. I looked at it sceptacal as Loryn took hers to the head.

“Its Vodka.” “Its white.” I fired back. Everybody knows I dont mess with white liquor, only brown. Kaiden tried to roll his eyes in the most manliest way and picked up another shot. “C’mon. I’ll take it wit you Rose.” Counting to three in my head I quickly threw the shot back and screwed my face after it burned my throat. “It aint even that bad, stop acting.” I flicked him off as we both laughed.

We had to only be here for about twenty minutes and Kaiden had me damn near drunk. He had finally got shots of my liking and I was gladly throwing them back. Loryn had went to the dance floor with Ace, one of Kiadens best homies.

“Just one more shot then we can be done!” I screamed over the music. I handed him a shot and we clung the glasses together before taking it. The seductive music, the lights and shots had me feeling just right. I watched as Kaiden licked over his lips as he placed his our glasses on the counter and turned to look down at me.

I couldnt help the dirty thoughts that came to mind as I gave his face a good overlook. His pink juicy lips. Oh how I would just love to have them around my clit.. “Yo, you aight?” He had his hand on the lower part of my back while looking very concerned.

“Your lips.. I need them wrapped around my clit, like now!” He looked astonished by what came out of my mouth. He started to laugh but when he seen how I serious I was he stopped. “Lets go.” He clamped his hand inside of mine and led me down the stairs and out the of club..

*flashback over*

“You litte floozy!” We all busted out in to laughter. “Did you feel weird after it after happened? Being that he is your best friend.” I played around with the left over food on my plate. “Of course I felt weird. I had to stop him at least three times last night.” My cheeks were right back red.

“Loryn how didnt you know?!” Lolani fired her way, I silently thanked her as she took the attention off of me. “Now just how was I suppose to know? I was too busy grinding all up on Ace fine ass.” I knew she had a thing of him. He was definetly her type. Tall, dark skinned and mean to the world but sweet to her.

“Ahhh both of yall fucking with the homies.” Leilani had this huge grin on her face. Loryn and I were quick to deny it though. “Im not fucking with Kai like that, he only ate me out and that was it. Would I do it again?” I scooted my chair out and gathered my trash as they waited for my answer.

“You damn right!”

K A I D E N

I had received a text from Londyn around five this evening thanking me for a wonderful night and the medicine. We continued texting for a while before she finally asked me to come over so we could talk face to face. I knew what she wanted to discuss. To be honest I thought she was going to feel some type of way about what happened between us.

I was more shocked at myself. The fact that I gave her head last night was mind blowing. Normally Im the one coming onto the opposite sex but she was in control. Then on top of that I let her get away with just me eating her pussy. Nothing in return.

I agreed to coming over and went to freshen myself up. After getting dressed I grabbed everything I needed and sat in my car rolling a blunt. I was blasting the radio and tucked the blunt away when I was done. Backing out of my driveway I made my way down the street. Driving like a NASCAR driver.

It felt like a mini road trip driving from my place to hers. But thats what the blunt was for, came in handy. When I pulled up in her driveway I seen that her moms car was parked in the yard. Seems like it just got a fresh wash. I aint even gon’ lie and say that I aint feel like a bitch when I pulled the visor down to check myself out in the mirror. “Fuck wrong witchu Kaiden?” I said aloud to myself.

I shot her a text telling her to come to the door once I finally got my shit together. When I seen the front door open she was standing there in some red booty shorts, almost like the ones in the movie Juno, a snug shirt that showed off her amazing curves and some ugg boots. As I got out the car I couldn’t hold my laugh back. “Whats so funny?” She asked once I finally got close to her. “You live in them boots huh?” I swiftly licked over my lips and looked down at her.

“Fuck you.” We quickly gave each other eye contact and then busted out laughing like some hyenas. “Shit could’ve happened. C’mon.” I motioned for her to her walk up the stairs before me to her room. I was ready to get some shit off my chest and Im pretty sure she wanted to do the same.

I threw myself on her bed and made sure I was comfortable after kicking my shoes off. “So before we really start talking things over, lets not forget about us being best friends first. I dont want anything to fuck up our friendship. Deal?” She was chewing on the corner of her bottom lip. Something she would do faithfully when she was nervous. I kissed my teeth at her.

“I done told you since the day be came best friends that this shit was real for me. I aint neva had no real friends nshit so I wouldnt do shit to jeopardize it, well not on purpose.” And I meant dat shit. The bond that we have is something I cherish. Ion know what the hell I would if Londyn stopped fucking wit me. My heart was lowkey racing now and I was thinking the complete worst.

She was the first person that made me open up when I moved out here. She wouldnt leave me alone at first and after a few months she made me a nigga feel welcome. “Kai? You hear me?”

“My bad, whatchu say again?” By now she had my attention as I seen the now annoyed look on her face. This girl hated repeating herself. “You better pay attention,” she just had to roll them damn eyes. “last night took me by surprise and I wont say that I never thought about it, but I dont think it can happen again.” Oh I was definitely all ears now.

I know my face said everything I was feeling. “Kaiden I just.. Im not what you’re use to. I-I catch feelings, I think about life long term and you’re not ready for that.” I gave her a long stare, right in her eyes. I dont even recall having a girl, let alone letting Londyn meet anyone so fuck she talking bout?

“How do you know what Im use to? Have I ever talked about a bitch to you? Ever met a bitch? Ever told you liked a bitch? And just how da hell you know what Im ready for Lon?” She sat there on hush mode. When she didnt utter a word I continued, “All throughout high school you were the only female I encountered with. I aint even look a bitch way cause I was too hung up on you.”

Her mouth dropped open and when she tried to talk I put my hand up to stop her. “I had to listen to you bitch and moan about niggas trying to fuck wit you and there I was, head over hills for yo ass. I mean, shit I had alot of dreams about us and you had to be drunk for part of my dreams to come true.”

I had to let out a chuckle with that last part. I mean Im glad that I finally got that shit off my chest but now I had to brace myself for the hardest part; hearing her response. She looked taken back, confused, couldn’t stop giving me this look, where she squint her eyes, open her mouth to speak and then close it looking away.

“You could’ve at least told me something Kaiden. Like, it didnt have to happen like this,” Her voice was very soft at the moment. “me drunk and completely in charge and then you.. I dont know. You should’ve said something!” She was letting out angry growls and launched towards me with her fist balled up.

“Chiiill Rose.” I couldn’t contain my laughing. I had a hold on her wrists while she was struggling to get loose. Once we had both calmed down nshit I got my thoughts together. Why didnt I say shit to her? Maybe cause her lil ass was too focused on them niggas that aint really give a shit about her. Or maybe it was ‘cause I aint wanna get rejected by my only friend.

#dave east #dave east ff #dave east fanfic #trey songz #trey songz ff #trey songz fanfic #meekalina #beauty_newnew #dyme taylor #deja hiott #lala anthony

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neo-shitty · 3 years

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toffee!

lol same, idk how some people are so calm and cool when the slightest inconvenience comes their way- i could never. :( that sucks ass, but i hope soon everyone will be able to get outside and interacting again. have you been able to have small outings, like walks or smth? fresh air- even in your backyard- is very important.

oh thats cool that we have a similar technique! i definitely agree, sometimes when a story is just not interesting i drag my feet on the way to write it, and when i do write, it tends to be less enjoyable and of lower quality than when im motivated and excited about it. do you have any tips for getting that momentum going? im trying to update my fic acc but there just never seems to be a time ;n;

yeah i totally agree, it can be very awkward, especially when the idols people are obsessing over are young. like nikki from enhypen, i love that boy like hes my child, and would lowkey kill a man to be able to tell him that, but it makes me very *uncomfy* to see people making edits and raving about how hot he it, like- my guy is 15 years old, give him some space. i mean, im in a glass house as well, so i probably shouldnt be throwing stones, but like, can people not wait until the idol is not a minor anymore? smh that does bring up the whole "companies should wait until the idols arent children (cough boy story cough) before they debut issue" but if we get into that then well be continuing this discussion long after the aforementioned idols have gone into military service so anywaysss

*sigh* i guess y/n and chan will never be happy since their benevolent (or malevolent) creator cant seem to write something without angst/major character death/heartwrenching endings (/j) tbh, fair and valid, i dont think there could be anything other than the perfect sweet as a supermarket bought cupcake ending and that honestly wouldnt have fitted the story/character arc as well as your writing style and the mood of the song as well, so as much as it tears me apart (/hj) i think its better you leave it like that

no problem, i didnt want the schedule to be a cause of anxiety for you at all, so if its making you stress then feel absolutely free to toss it all out the window, ill just check a bit more often

goddamn this was long, sorry

<3 w.a. 🐺

i guess people that are calm when met with inconveniences just have been raised to deal with it on the spot. or they might be panicking internally and aren't too vocal about it. i used to be able to handle anything easily but i got more anxious in quarantine e.e we can technically get out? but i have strict parents and there was only ever one friend who could 'break' me out of my house. he's not here rn atm so i can't go out with my friends as much as i used to. i still go out tho but with my fam.

yeah writing is supposed to be fun! so yeah if non-chronological works for you, what’s stopping you? when i feel really stuck i stop entirely and usually inspiration comes back in a day or two when i feel rested. i also start reading again. idk how it helps me but after picking up a book suddenly i can write again :’ ) also listen to music? if you’re the type to pick inspo off tracks.

bro i can’t even look at anyone under ‘00 in that way so i don’t get why people thirst (like explicit thirst) over m*nor idols like ??? doesn’t it smell like p*do here skdjfs it’s ok to admire them for looks to a certain extent but know your limits. kids really shouldn’t be put in an industry that wild tbh but that’s how their industry has been :/ i doubt it’ll ever change.

HEY. i have written fluff fics >: ( i have like 3 for chan specifically. but fr tho, i just can’t see fluff and a team in the same sentence. i could write a flangsty scene, i have thoughts and a draft but no inspo unfortunately.

anw, don’t apologize for long asks. i love them i just take a while to reply back AHAHA i actually saved this ask for tonight because THOUGHTS ON THE ALBUM?@#!?

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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kitten1618x · 7 years

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GoT Afterthoughts 7x06 Beyond the Wall (Jonsa Edition) SPOILERS

Hello lovelies ... apologies for the delay! As most of you know, my Marine was home briefly. ❤️

We begin our episode with the war room map/table in Dragonstone and a fire crackling in the background -ominous foreshadowing? We then join Jon and the boys hiking through the winter wonderland. Tormund being Tormund pokes Gendry for some fun, before the talk with Jon takes a more serious turn. He asks about the Dragon Queen, and Jon tells him that she'll only help if he bends the knee. Tormund tells Jon he's spent too much time with the freefolk and now he doesn't like kneeling.

Now, what Tormund said next admittedly confused me (and I'm paraphrasing): "Mance was a great man, a proud man, but how many of his people died for his pride?" To my knowledge it was Mance himself who died because he refused to kneel -not the freefolk? Were Wildlings slaughtered off-screen unbeknownst to us? I'm not being facetious -if I'm wrong in my confusion, someone please correct me. Otherwise, what we have here is a plot hole -almost like Tormund giving Jon a reason to kneel, to not be like Mance and not put his family and people in peril over his pride. I'm not ready to bag on the writing just yet, but this is a blatant inconsistency -just sayin'....

But moving on ... Gendry airs his grievances with the brotherhood and the Hound tells him to suck it up buttercup and that's that for now. We are then brought to Jon and Jorah speaking not of Dany (which, ya know -would make sense since this whole "epic romance" plot and all) but instead, they are bonding over their fallen fathers.

Jon: “my father was the most honorable man I've ever met, he was good all the way through, and he died on the executioners block.” (We'll come back to this).

Honorable Ned's son, honorable Jon takes off Longclaw and offers it to Jorah. Jorah insists that Jon keep it, deeming himself unworthy.

Jorah: “It's yours. May it serve you well, and your children after you.”

Cue WINTERFELL music and a pensive looking Jon. Contemplating your future children, Jon? Imagining their red hair and curls? Tully and Stark looking? Okay, I'll stop now -but come on guys -what an Easter egg! And right from there we jump to Winterfell (SURPRISE) and Jon's future wife (and mother of his children).

Our lovely Stark sisters are in the traditional Stark spot upon the battlements. Arya tells a heartwarming tale of Ned catching her practicing archery and clapping when she finally hit the bullseye. It was sweet, and lovely, and everything I'd been praying for for weeks, but then the accusations fly and all is lost. Arya has the letter that Cersei made Sansa pen to Robb. Sansa is naturally upset about this and defends herself with the truth: they made her write it (even Robb knew that when he read it, geez Arya come on -It's not like you did/didn't do things, too!). Does everyone remember when she was Tywin's cupbearer? Because I do.

I don't blame either of my precious angels for what they did/didn't do to survive as scared, isolated and traumatized little girls -and dammit, they shouldn't either! But more on this later ....

Now, I don't like what they made Sansa say about Arya "should be on her knees thanking her" -it's not that she isn't right about the part she played in re-taking Winterfell, but THAT was definitely some shitty writing.

We flash back to our boys, and Tormund is attempting to bond with the Hound. Aside from being some of the best comic relief this show has delivered in a long time, I'm becoming sweet on Tormund x Brienne. Stop me! I love Brienne x Jamie too much! I'm trash! Someone just wheel me out to the alley and light my ass on fire!

We got a nice little callback to Ygritte and naturally Sansa too -because "Gingers are beautiful, they're kissed by fire". More on this later, too .....

We switch over to Beric and Jon first discussing how much Jon apparently doesn't resemble Ned (sure Jan) and then the creepy religion (again, burning children is bad, guys -I'm with Varys on this religion). Jon doesn't serve the Lord of Light, he serves ONLY the North. They do seem to agree on one thing: they are protectors, and Jon recites some of his Nights Watch vows: "I am the shield that guards the realms of men." More on this later .... (Are you guys picking up a theme here yet? Let's see if you figure it out before I get to the end of this post). 😉

After the Hound points them towards the mountain he saw in his vision, we go to Dragonstone where Dany decides to compliment Tyrion by insulting him? lol What she likes about him is that he's not a hero -heroes are stupid with their constant pissing contests (she's not wrong) -except I'm not sure I'd consider Daario or Drogo heroes? Tyrion points out that all these brave men have fallen for her -including Jon Snow, because apparently unbeknownst to US the actual viewers, he's been oogling her ....?? Daenerys denies it, but you can tell by her body language that this pleases her. But -"he's too little for her" ???? What does that even mean?

Honestly, I can't figure out my Little Lion this season and it's kind of pissing me off. Is he cracked out on Dragon love too? Or is he being clever and playing the game? Varys did say he needed to find a way to make her listen. Does Tyrion think Jon can influence her? And where the hell is Varys, by the way?

Dany brings up the upcoming meeting and her impulsive temper comes up -and the Tarlys (expect them to come up again in the near future too, guys). Tyrion warns her about ruling with fear and then the convo shifts to the subject of Dany's mortality and her line of succession. Dany jumps into serious angry paranoia mode (Targ trait) and flings accusations of Tyrion's loyalty at him again. Look -I fully understand that this is a touchy (and rightly so) subject for Dany, but I don't think he's in the wrong here -the line of succession is important to any monarch, and especially one that intends to ride into battle. But ...not today Tyrion, not today.

We jump back over the wall, and now the boys are traipsing through blizzard-like conditions. Is it still the same day? Has night fallen, or is it just dark due to the snow storm? Ugh, this episode is leaving me with more questions than answers! They spot, and are spotted by an undead bear, and a few redshirt Wildlings are taken out. Thoros and Beric light the sonofabitch on fire, Tormund whacks it with his battle axe -I mean, this damn thing takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin', and ends up with Thoros in its mouth, before Jorah takes it out with a dagger (assuming it was dragon glass?). A chug of alcohol and a cauterizing of the wound, and he's miraculously up on his feet and ready to continue.

On a side note: poor precious hound and his fire PTSD. 😔 Cant wait for Clegane bowl -hope it ends with fire and Sandor conquering his fear while exacting his revenge.

And now we're back in Winterfell, and a distressed Sansa is confiding in Little Finger. If ya'll didn't pick up that she was sniffing him out, then I just can't help you. Sansa doesn't trust him. I strongly suspect she knows that letter turned up because of him. I'm 99% confident she was jugging him for info ....

Sansa is nervous about the letter, though -rightly so, because if the lords see it, they may withdraw their support -BUT she isn't worried for herself, she's worried for Jon and keeping his army (amassed to 20k now -when did that happen? Go Sansa!) -so wake up and suck a fat one, Sansa haters! Don't you guys get it yet?!?! Sansa is loyal to Jon -shit, even Little Finger gets it. Why do you think he's so bent on sewing discourse between the sisters, now? Because all his attempts to drive a wedge between Jon and Sansa have failed!

We return to the winter wonderland, and now it's Jorah/Thoros bonding time. I'm sorry that I don't care enough to repeat their exchange -it wasn't exactly riveting, and I pretty much knew that it was his "death knell". Anyone else getting whiplash from all this back and forth?

Upon their climb, they hear the clinking of an undead scouting party. Interesting .... they send scouting parties ahead? The NK and his Generals are pretty smart. Which caused something to pop into my head: are Gilly's brothers the NK's Generals? But back to the action ... they start a fire to lure them in and ambush them. Jon kills the General and all but one of the wights fall. Aside from the convenience of all but the one they need falling, this is also interesting. If they take out the generals who raised them, the wights will automatically fall -so if the NK is taken out, then his entire army would perish! Hmmm ...

So, my dudes tackle Bones and he lets out an ear piercing screech, which apparently alerts the others (hmmm -they communicate, too?). With an avalanche of the undead rolling down upon them at high speeds, they collectively shit their pants while hogtying Bones, and Jon orders Gendry to run for Eastwatch and get a Raven to Dany, declaring that he's "the fastest". Well, this is all well and good, but please explain to me just exactly HOW Jon knows this? Because I didn't know Gendry was fast ...did you? And not only do they send this poor kid who's never even seen snow before, off into the arctic wilds by his lonesome, entrusting his supposed internal GPS (I guess???), but they take his freaking weapon so he has no means to defend himself, to boot!

And off he goes, while Jon and the crew race for shelter and find themselves standing over the weak ice of a frozen pond/lake. With no other place to go but forward, they take their chances and make for the rock in the middle, as the dead close in on them and after grabbing a few more redshirt Wildlings, the wights break the weakened ice and begin falling into icy water, creating a barrier and a trap for our boys. Winded, but alive, they freeze their tushes off, as night falls and an exhausted Gendry collapses before the gate of Eastwatch. Daddy Davos comes to cradle on of his fostered sons as Gendry breathlessly pleas to send a Raven.

It's morning on the rock, and our dudes have snuggled to keep warm overnight. The Hound rouses from his comfy Jon Snow pillow to kick the grumbling Bones, who's probably just salty that he didn't get invited to the slumber party. Sandor gives him a good morning kick in the ribs, and when Bones squeals in displeasure, so do some of the wights surrounding them. Another clue of their links?

Unfortunately, Thoros hasn't made it through the night. They burn his body and Beric says the creepy Lord of Light's prayer. I hope someone had the good sense to take his flaming sword first, but I doubt it, because while I love my boys -they aren't exactly clever ...they did go on a wight hunt, after all. 🙄

Jorah and Jon discuss the connection and Jorah suggests trying to take out the WW's as their best chance of survival. Jon says no, they need to take that thing (Bones) back with them and a Raven is on its way to Dany -she's their only chance. I suppose she has the same magic GPS as Gendry. 😳 Beric joins them and counters that argument with just taking out the NK -he turned them all after all ...kill him and they all fall.

Now, Jon puzzles me here. His reply to Beric's suggestion is: "You don't understand."

What Jon? What don't we understand, baby?? Tell us!!!! Is Jon suddenly afraid of his own mortality? I don't think so, but then -what don't we understand??????

*screaming internally*

Beric counters with how the lord brought them both back and maybe this is why. I'm not sure what Jon's thinking while his chest heaves and he eye fucks the NK -but .... perhaps he really is afraid? Maybe of failing and being forced to rise and fight on the NK's side? Suggestions are welcome here .... really.

We jump back to Winterfell and Sansa has received an invite to KL. So, who sent this invite? Sansa refuses to go -and is certainly justified considering .... She intends to send Brienne in her stead, but Brienne is uncomfortable leaving Sansa unprotected because of Little Finger. She requests to at least leave Podrick behind, but Sansa denies her request, and after trying several times to politely put her off, she finally rudely dismisses her. Now, I have no doubt that Sansa is truly frightened to go to KL because of Cersei, but I also think that she specifically chose Brienne to represent her -not only because she trusts her to represent her interests, but also because of what Little Finger implied earlier -about Brienne intervening with Arya if necessary. I'd like to think that Sansa is not only protecting her little sister, but also Brienne's honor of having to side with one of the sisters should things get ugly. (They won't, trust me).

We flip over to Dragonstone and Tyrion tries to convince Dany not to run off to the rescue, but (thankfully), she doesn't listen. She mounts Drogon and off to the rescue her and her lizard babies go!

We're back at the boulder now, and an apparently bored Sandor is throwing rocks at the "cunt" wights. Not that I blame him, but we all knew where this was going, right? The ice has re-frozen and slowly, the dead advance on them again. This shit was really unbelievable, tbh. With the sheer amount of wights surrounding them, they should have been swarmed, but somehow manage to keep most of them at bay. Jon yells "fall back" (to where????) as Tormund gets grabbed and, oh my heart!!!! I swear I had a mini stroke! But thankfully, Sandor grabs him just in time (he knows he fucking LOVES fire kissed Gingers, okay?)!

And just when it seems that all is lost, Dany and lizard puppies arrive to fuck shit up!! Okay, despite their destruction to actual human life a few weeks ago -this was beautiful and visually very satisfying! This is what the dragons are for! They take out a good chunk of the NK's army -which is WHY I assume he targets the dragon still flying overhead and raining down hellfire on his army, rather than Drogon who was chilling while they all saddled up. I mean, it's just a guess, but it's truly the ONLY logical explanation I could come up with. 😐

Dany reaches immediately for Jon, but a wight charges, and Jon turns to dispatch it, as well as a few of its comrades while the others climb atop Drogon. You know, Jon being the hero he was accused of earlier in the episode? The NK marches forward and takes aim at Viserion -who is still fucking up his army (as I mentioned above, and why I think he may have targeted him), as Jon continues to blindly fight the wights instead of climbing his dumbass on the fucking dragon! Why? So it can be HIS fault for what happens next, of course!

I legit cried when Viserion died. I'm a grown-ass woman, and I don't give a shit! It was heartbreaking, to watch him plummet from the sky and crash into the lake, his eye drifting closed as he slipped below the ice ... and personally, I think Dany's facial expression nailed it: gut wrenching shock. As a mother, my heart broke for her, even though I know that the dragons future demise is necessary.

An angry Jon charges right towards the NK for a standoff, as if he took Beric's words to heart and was prepared to sacrifice himself right then and there to kill the NK and save the whole damn world! But the NK doesn't want to scrap -instead, he reaches for another ice spear, and Jon seeing that he intends to take out another dragon, screams for them to go.

He turns to sprint for Drogon (I guess? Because Drogon had already begun to take off?) but he's tackled by wights and dragged into the icy water. The group hauls ass into the air as an ice spear whizzes towards them, but Drogon avoids it and almost sends Jorah to an early grave. Dany glances back for any sight of Jon as Drogon flies them to safety.

After the dragons fly off, the NK and his army nonchalantly shuffle on as if nothing happened. We get a shot of Longclaw by the ice hole and suddenly Jon lunges out of the water and uses its hilt to drag himself out of the icy lake. Soaked and frozen and probably figuring this is the end, he raises his sword to go out fighting and uncle Benjen drops in to save the day! He hauls a popsicle Jon onto his undead? horse and tells him to ride for the pass, declining Jon's offer to come with him and telling him "there's no time". Now -I've seen this part criticized, and I get it, I do -except what is Benjen supposed to do? He can't pass the wall -he's dead too. Guess he figured it best to go out fighting then endless undead loneliness. Maybe he figured he had no more dumbass nephews to save from beyond the wall anymore? Whatever the case, it was sad to see yet another Stark perish -even if he was technically already dead.

We're back at Eastwatch now, and the Hound is dumping Bones in a dingy, as Beric says farewell and they'll meet again. The Hound says he fucking hopes not, but I don't think he means it. 😉 Atop the wall, Dany gazes forlornly at the landscape below, as Jorah tells her it's time to go (and calls her "Your Grace", and not Khaleesi? Since when?). As she turns to leave, the horn blows and Benjen's horse comes into view (and where have I seen this scene before?) only this time, WITH a rider. Hey -how the fuck did he get his horse back, anyway?

The Targ ship unfurls its sails, and we're in Jon's cabin as Davos literally peels the frozen furs from his trembling body, and sweet mary mother of God, Kit's abs! 😍 As Jon freezes to death, I'm just praying that Davos continues with his disrobing of Jon (and the camera follows), but nope ... 😔 Dany watches from the doorway with a mixture of worry, awe and since she's only human, probably lust (I feel you girl, I really do). On a serious note: she's privy to all those horrid scars that were never stitched and are still literal almost gaping gashes in his chest -and one directly over his heart. I bet Davos' words are ringing in her ears again.

After that gratuitous abs scene, we head back to Winterfell, where Sansa is snooping through Arya's room -probably looking for the letter. Instead, she stumbles onto Arya's face collection. WTF! Naturally, Arya catches her snooping, and begins to terrify Sansa, and myself collectively, with some creepy dialogue that rings as an ominous threat -except, well ... let's break this down a bit. She is sharing some of her past. She wants to play the Game of Faces, but Sansa is not having any of this shit.

I'm pretty sure that Arya drops a MAJOR foreshadowing bomb here: "We both wanted to be other people when we were younger. You wanted to be a queen, sitting next to a handsome king on the iron throne and I wanted to be a knight riding off to battle."

Okay, back to the terrifying conversation... Arya: "With the faces, I can become someone else, live in their skin, speak in their voice. I can even become you ..."

*she picks up the catspaw dagger and steps closer to Sansa*

(With the dagger in her hand): "I wonder what it would feel like, wearing those pretty dresses, to be the Lady of Winterfell. All I'd need to find out is your face."

*she flips the dagger and hands it to Sansa HILT first*

When Sansa takes the dagger, Arya casually turns and leaves the room.

ARYA WAS PLAYING THE GAME OF FACES. Yes, it's shitty, and she gave her sister a mini stroke, but here's the thing: I believe they are BOTH playing Little Finger separately -to protect one another AND Jon, they just don't realize that the other is doing it yet. I'm fully confident that either Bran is going to sit our Starklings down, or they're going to figure it out on their own. And speaking of Bran, where the hell is he? Is he off with Varys? WTH?!

Okay, and we're finally at the scene that y'all were dreading .... Jon's eyes drift open to a teary-eyed Dany who's relieved to see him wake. Immediately, he apologizes for her loss. She shakes her head and lowers it to hide her tears (probably trying not to make him feel worse), and Jon reaches for her hand. He tells her he wishes he could take it back and that they'd never gone. Dany shakes her head again and disengages her hand. She disagrees -she needed to see to understand.

She tells him that the dragons are her children -the only children she'll ever have, and asks him if he understands what she's trying to convey. Jon shakes his head yes, as Dany vehemently professes her support in helping Jon defeat the NK.

Now, I received an ask earlier last week when this episode leaked, about whether I thought Dany was doing this only for vengeance -and certainly, that does factor into her decision, I'm sure. And I don't fault her one fucking bit, tbh. I'm a mother -if you hurt my kids, I'm coming straight for you -why do you think the term "mama grizzly" was coined? But, on the other hand -she's now seen this horrific undead army, and what they are capable of. As someone who freed slaves, it only makes sense that she'd want to help make sure that humanity is not enslaved by the NK and the dead. This is WHY Dany is here, you guys. Not to be queen. Not to be Jon's wife. But to help save humanity with her fire-made flesh dragons, and die in a very messianic way -as such has been the arc they built her character upon.

Jon immediately thanks her, and calls her Dany. She's taken aback -and explains that no one has called her that in a very long time. She brings up Viserys and in a roundabout way, says he was a dick, as to which Jon replies: "alright, not Dany. How about my queen? I'd bend the knee, but ..." he nods his head towards his injured state, as Dany asks about the people who've sworn allegiance to him (because she suddenly cares about that now?) and Jon says (and like I TOLD YOU ALL LAST WEEK when I watched this leaked scene, how very important and almost foreboding his words are): "They'll come to see you for what you are."

WHAT YOU ARE. Not who you are. Not how caring you are. Not anything other than ambiguously WEIRD: what you are!!!

Dany is still touched by this seemingly heartfelt declaration, and with more tears welling in her eyes, grasps his hand and proclaims that she hopes she deserves it, and Jon reassures her that she does. After some silent eye contact, she pulls her hand free from his grasp and tells him to get some rest.

He obliges and closes his eyes, and then when she leaves the room, his eyes reopen and he looks -guilty? As he releases what sounds like an exasperated sigh.

And finally, we end the night with the dead dragging Viserion from the icy depths with some heavy duty chains, and the NK reanimates him. Okay, I just have to say how fucking stupid that is. Where did these massive chains come from? Why didn't he just raise his arms and raise Viserion like he did the Wildlings at Hardhome? It would have been a lot cooler if he came lunging out of the water all blue eyed, rather than be dragged up with chains. Ugh whatever!

Okay, so for a penultimate episode, I'm not majorly impressed, but I didn't hate it.

So, some things we need to go back and touch on (as noted throughout). Have you all figured out where I was going with it? Yes? No?

Okay - SO MANY CALLBACKS TO THE NIGHTS WATCH HERE, GUYS!

We got Ygritte callbacks with "Gingers are kissed by fire". We got the Jon/Beric convo which was kind of reminiscent of Half Hand/Jon's convo when they were with the Wildling's as prisoners, and Jon even recited a piece of his Nights Watch vows! We've got Tormund bringing up Mance, and his refusal to kneel AND we've got an almost replicated scene (horn blowing and all) of Uncle Benjen's horse riding for the gate of the wall, only this time, WITH a rider!

What does that remind me of? Well, a previously duplicitous undercover Jon infiltrating the Wildlings -using them to achieve his goal of getting back to Castle Black alive, to warn the Watch of the impending attack and to do his duty -hold the Wall against the Wildlings. How did he do that? By deceiving Ygritte -despite his feelings.

Now, I'm not saying I'm right, and it's just a theory -but I truly do believe that Jon is playing Dany. BUT, I also truly believe that he does like her, and that he does really believe she has a good heart. She did just lose one of her children to save him and the crew ... Jon's odd and ambiguous words: "They'll see you for what you are" is for our benefit -a clue to know where the story is headed. However, I do think that the fact that he actually admires and cares for her (cares, NOT loves) is making him feel pretty shitty for what he is/has to do, on top of the guilt he feels for being at fault for Viserion's death.

It's no coincidence that he couldn't look in her eyes when he offered to bend the knee. It's also very telling that he did so when no one was around to hear/witness this. While Dany has been wearing her obvious heart eyes on her sleeve for a few episodes now, Jon has been pretty guarded, he hasn't shared ANYTHING personal, his expressions have been odd -and blank, mostly (as in this scene, as well) ... this developing "romance" has felt "off". With Dany's attraction being so blatant, I think that Jon easily picked up on her feelings for him, and he's using that -playing on those feelings, to secure an alliance.

So why is this necessary if Dany already agreed to help him? Truth be told, I feel like Jon just doesn't fully trust her. Good heart or not, she is a stranger, he's seen her temper and how quickly she turned on Tyrion that day -this is Jon being smarter than Father (also brought up several times in the episode -as well as his honor) and Robb -who ironically was also brought up in this episode by way of Sansa's letter!

Addressing the weirdness of Jon calling Dany, "Dany"? I believe this was to assert a familial tie -in the same episode where her brother was brought up, and ironically, the dragon that died, was named for. They are reminding us they're actually FAMILY (incase we forgot) because of what's going next episode, y'all. They want us to be kind of squicked out when it happens.

All the mentions of Dany's inability to conceive? Well, for two reasons, really- to hit us (and Jon) over the head with the fact that Dany can't get pregnant, so boatbang can happen, basically -and Mr. "doesn't want to sire a bastard", feels confident to hang up his vow of celibacy if there's no shot of getting Dany pregnant. And also, for all of our tongues to be wagging about "oh no, could their be a magic Targ baby"? like many have been. A red herring for the red herring, anyone? A baby requires a time jump -a time jump cannot happen -the dead are literally KNOCKING on the Wall. If you've got a logical explanation for me -let's have it. And yes, I've heard the shadow baby theory, and while I think it's uber cool, I'm not really onboard with it -who would it kill, as that is their purpose?

Also -the NK and his Generals are impervious to fire -unlike the wights. But -will dragon glass and Valaryian steel kill the NK? I'm starting to doubt that ...

And before I sign off on this, I wanted to address one more thing (that I specifically looked for in my re-watch) -the mention I saw floating around here, of the Wolf eyes on Longclaws hilt opening as Jon emerged from the frozen lake -it did look like that, but it was just a shadow-a trick of the light, if you go back and watch it. 😉

Thanks for tuning in again. See you next week for my final recap of the season. And FYI: my kiddos start school the next day, so I can't stay up til 2 am recapping -my recap will be posted on Monday, instead. ✌🏻

#got afterthoughts #got recap #jonsa edition #jonsa #jon x sansa #got season 7 spoilers #SPOILERS

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moonbelt · 6 years

Text

»supernova

↳ soulmate au | somewhat best-friends to lovers au

⇢ pairing: bambam | reader

⇢ genre: fluff + soft angst

⇢ word count: 7.432

⇢ authors note: as i have realized, i am a complete and utter fool for soulmate aus lmaoo

You were pretty sure that the voice in your head was out to get you. Not only was it sarcastic, a smartass, incredibly witty, never really helped in answering any internal monologues, it was also the voice of your supposed soulmate.

Not that you actually believe that because there was no way your soulmate was someone that took pride in you falling out of a tree and breaking your nose when you were seven. You'll never forgive that treachery.

Although, you guess there were a few perks about having the voice in your head. For starters, you were never truly alone. When you needed to hash out at someone, the voice became useful. He always had a comeback, no matter how small. Whenever you needed to gloat about something, he was there too. And surprisingly he was also good at getting you to calm down when things got too much.

You realize that you're listing out many good qualities and nothing that's truly irredeemable. Back to the matter though, you didn't even know if the voice was but a simple figment of your imagination. Instead, you decided to believe in something greater.

In any case, the point of the present situation is that right now you're ridiculously pissed off. Like you're ready to get a baseball bat and whack the air until you've released all your pent-up frustrations. It'll be better, you muse, than heading back to your dorm and eating junk food till you pass out. Not that that's a bad idea but you promised yourself during New Years to practice healthier habits and truth be told, healthier life habits suck.

"I can feel your anger all the way up from here. What's up, Princess?" You've long stopped trying to get him to stop calling you that.

"Nothing," you huff, stomping your feet on the ground and planting your butt on one of the park's benches.

There's a snort and then the voice says back, sounding highly amused: "that doesn't sound like nothing."

You roll your eyes at him and wish he could see it. "And how would you know that?"

You're sure that if he was in front of you, you'll be able to see him shake his head with a tsk sound and his lips quirked up into a smirk. It's just one of those things you know even though you've never seen him.

"Because I can literally feel everything you emotionally feel, [y/n]."

Same goes for you though. You can feel almost everything that he feels or what you think he feels. But he never likes talking about himself, at least not as much as you like talking about yourself. Clearly, you're more of the talker in this relationship. Bambam is always here to listen no matter how stupid the issue seems to be. You won't ever admit it to him but he does help with rationalizing your thoughts. Especially considering how you over analyze almost anything.

You sigh into your chest, taking in the deep January air. "It's really nothing. I'm just... can you believe I bombed that test yesterday? I got a freaking C. You know how I thought I did pretty good on it? Well, I just got smacked in the fucking face. If I don't get an A in all the remaining exams then I'm doomed. How—"

"Getting a C isn't exactly bad, [y/n]," he voices out. "It's your first test, you've never taken this Professor before. It's normal that you didn't do that well on it."

"Yeah, okay. But I studied my ass off, Bam," you sniff your nose a little bit. "If I can't even get a B on the first exam then how am I going to get it later in the semester?"

Bambam sighs lowly and for a minute you wish he was there next to you. Not just in your head. Every time you talked to him like this, all it did was fuel you into thinking that maybe he wasn't your soulmate. You couldn't feel anything exponential. Not through this. All you felt were thoughts, the kind of things he liked, the fact that he broke his arm once while riding his bike. But nothing that screamed hey: this is The One!

"Princess, it's not as bad as that. Think of it this way; now that you've seen how your teacher poses questions, you'd know how to study better."

“Yeah, but now I have to work extra-extra hard to get a better grade and I’m already exhausted. Tell me Bam, why did I decide that Political Science was the major for me?”

A snicker threatens to break Bambam’s resolve but he masks it, albeit skillfully, with a cough. “I’m exhausted too. Everything is so hard these days, but you know what wouldn't be hard?”

Your mind perks up at that. “What?”

“Getting an A on the next exam.”

"I guess...” you're really thankful for such a friend like Bam, but you're still a tidbit irritated at yourself. “I'm still mad though. I know I could have done better if I had just... I don't know what I could've done better but there must have been something."

"Yeah. Something like sleep?"

You furrow your eyebrows and when you remember that he cant see it, you say. "Explain."

Imagining him staring down at you in a sort of deadpan stare, his voice rings out. "You barely sleep when you have an exam. It's like you're running on cans on cans of energy drinks and caffeine. Healthy habits be damned."

"Hey," you sit up abruptly on the bench, the air whipping your nose furiously. "That's a low blow."

He knows how bad you’ve been trying to keep this particular New Year resolution. Although you flunked out of going to the gym three days a week, you barely use your bike to go anywhere anymore, and the only healthy thing you’ve been doing is cutting junk food out of your daily diet — a fact that Bam knows all too well.

"Is it?" He taunts. "You basically keep me up all night and into the morning with your ramblings because you're cramming."

"It's for the greater good of my grades."

"Sure it is."

Reluctantly, you get up from the bench and throw your cold fingers into your coats pockets. You feel way better than you had when you started the journey back to your dorm. In fact, it was instances like this that made the whole wanting-a-soulmate epidemic make sense.

Of course, anyone would want someone that could calm them down when they're thought to be inconsolable. It was the stuff written in fairytales that had no real reason to be in real life but found it's way in anyway. You'd heard and read about soulmates hearing each other's voices in their heads, a passive indicator that only left the minute you finally met them physically.

You and Bam had never discussed actually meeting each other. Maybe because it made it more real than any of you could handle. There was so much pressure. As if the minute the two of you connected eyes everything will suddenly align in the World.

Right now with him being the voice in your head, it was safe. Safe was better than uncertain. You don't know what you'll do if Bam's presence suddenly vanished from your life. It's not something you want to think about.

You don't realize that he's been trying to gain your attention until he yells, rather loudly too considering he's literally taking home in your brain.

"Hey, [y/n]? Listen to me!" He wails and you scoff at his antics, finally dragging yourself to pay him attention.

"What, the stupid voice in my head?"

He chooses to ignore your jab and instead asks you a question of his own. "Where are you right now?"

"Outside," you answer almost immediately.

"Well, look up at the stars," and after a beat, he adds. "Please."

You scrunch your nose together as you sigh exaggeratedly to yourself. You don't particularly like stars. Mainly because they embody something unattainable and you guess they are beautiful but the point still stands. They get to stay all the way up there while you look from down here and it rubs your nerves wrong. To be a star must be so lonely, you think, to just watch and watch but never interact.

You know it's nothing but petty resentment but you can't help but feel a certain way when you see them. They represent almost everything you're not: amply beautiful and indescribably phenomenal. And as pretentious as that sounds, you'd rather feel like that than feeling as if most of your efforts are amounting to nothing. Frankly, you hate this feeling.

Contrary to how you feel, you angle your head up and look up at the few yet blinding lights that stream along the night sky. Pretty. Really damn pretty and before you can stop yourself, you take out your phone and snap a landscape photo of them.

"Okay, are you looking?"

"Yep. Can I ask why you want me to do this?"

There's a pause and you think Bambam is gathering his thoughts and trying to find a way to work them out properly. You dunk your phone back into your pocket and wait for him to say something. You see, with Bambam you can never be to forward or pushy, unlike the way he handles you.

Bambam prefers to talk about what he wants when he wants without feeling pressured to, you feel the same way too, but he knows you'd rather cave into yourself than actually let anyone in. Bam lets you in, slowly but assuredly.

"I'm looking at the stars right now too. So, technically we're doing this together."

You're not sure if what he said is supposed to make your heart beat a little bit faster but it does. You suck in a deep breath and let yourself look at the stars more closely. "That sounds really romantic."

"That's kind of what I was going for," he doesn't feel anything like embarrassment.

"Well, congratulations, babe. You succeeded."

It's pretty rare that you feel any sort of silence when you're awake so now that it falls over the two of you, providing a blanket from the rest of the world, you're not sure what to say. You want to ask him if it would be truly horrible if the both of you meet face to face. You've heard his voice for a decade and then some. It shouldn't be this hard to—

"Do you think it would've been better if we had a timer?"

Your brain stutters to get back into its groove, so it takes a while before you ask. "What do you mean?"

"Like you know one of those things that tell how long until you meet your soulmate or something."

"You mean like the ones in the movies?" You say incredulously. "What's the point of knowing when you'll meet your soulmate? Doesn't guarantee you'd actually end up together forever."

He hums to himself a bit before he agrees. "True... but at least you'd know it's real and concrete. With us, it just feels like..." his voice trails off but this time he fails to complete his sentence.

Any other thing and you wouldn't have pestered him about it. But this, you have to know. "What? Say it. It feels like what."

"It feels like running into something we don't know. After all, you could be something I conjured up. If I had a timer then it'll mean that at least we're destined to meet. And that maybe you're out there actually looking at the stars like you say you are."

You bite your lower lip, understanding where he's coming from but it still stings your heart a little. Actually, no. It stings a lot. Just a few minutes ago you'd been thinking the same thing: if Bambam really existed. But you'd been naïve to think he wouldn't be doing the same.

"Do you think we should do it?" You manage to ask against the tepid beating of your heart.

"Do what?" If the voice in your head could whisper, he would be doing so right now.

For as much as you dislike stars and all they portray, you take another glance at the sky. Maybe to calm your nerves? Maybe to fuel you to take the next step? Because if you don't do it now when the heck would you ever?

Then you watch as a star peals itself neatly from the dark sky and lands softly into your hands. And that's when you feel it. The exponential thing. The thing you've been searching for. It lights your body and sets everything it touches into a mass of blundering confusion but it also gives you that push. The push to say what you truly mean and want.

During times like this, you end up saying things you ordinarily wouldn't. Without even noticing how it's happening, you open up your heart and just start talking to the person inside of you.

"Let's meet up somewhere. Like, for real this time." After a moment you add. "We should play an active role in this."

"Explain."

"We don't need a stupid timer. The universe already did her part in putting you in my head when I was seven. I think she's done enough for us." You say as you blink a few times at the cold and restart the walk back to your dorm again. "The rest is up to me and you."

A beat passes before he speaks. "What if we're not even in the same city, let alone the same state or—"

"Bam, we've literally known each other for twelve years. I know what university you go to; it's the one about an hour and a half from mine. I highly doubt that's too far for us to meet each other."

"You really want to do this?" There's uncertainty painting his voice. "We can't go back if we do meet each other and find out we're soulmates."

Go back to what? If you really are soulmates, doesn't that make it better? If it is what you think it is. Then why on earth would you want to go back to this? The reason why you’ve been apprehensive all this time was that... what if you're not soulmates? What if you've spent the last five years having a crush on someone that doesn't even exist? That's what truly has you afraid.

According to your parents who also had the honors of being able to hear their soulmates before they actually met them: Once you and the person in your head exchanged words in the confinements of real life, their voice in your head will vanish. Before you didn't really care about this minor — used to be insignificant — fact. Because you didn't believe that the boy in your head that called you 'princess,' was going to be anything but the voice in your head.

But as the years went by, you admit, you began to wish for it to be true. For him to really be out there like he says he is. Your dorm slowly comes into your view and you sigh in relief. It's so cold outside and you're ready for some warmth.

You’d tried before to arrange the two of you to meet each other physically but something was always trying to prevent that. School trips, exams, family vacations, friends... life. But this time you find yourself pushing the words out, no matter how small, this time you don't think you want to settle for a ‘maybe.’

"I really want us to do this," you finally say. "We won't know anything unless we try."

His response doesn't come immediately, in fact for a moment you're scared it will never come at all and that he’ll skillfully change the topic.

"I guess you're right, Princess. I'm just hoping that..." but unlike the other times, Bambam doesn't complete his train of thought. At least not to you.

You wait for him though. As you climb the stone steps that lead to your dorm, you wait for him. Because he's not good with pushy people and you've already pushed him enough to agree to meet you. Although, you do know that he wouldn't have even given the idea the light of day if he didn't want it a little bit.

That pacifies you more than you can say. He wanted to see you and even if nothing else came out of this, at least you could say you tried.

You slot the key into your room door and jack it open. Your roommate doesn't get back home until hours later, so you don't bother notifying her that you’re back. Instead, you trudge into your room and land in a heap on your bed. You figure you've waited a long enough time.

"Bam, what are you hoping for?"

You know he's listening and that he's still up there in your head. You can still feel his presence — a little pressure at the back of your head that feels satisfyingly comforting — so by deduction, you also know that he doesn't want to answer the question. So, it doesn't come as much of a surprise when he sighs deeply and you know that if he was in front of you, he'd shoot you a smile to ease the tension straining in your chest. Now, you wonder how his smile would look like.

"Goodnight, Princess."

It's really rare that you ever feel completely alone and this time is one of them. He's gone, retreated back to himself and you're left with only the residual moments. You stuff your face into a pillow and scream until you run out of breath. The sound comes out muffled and strangled but it helps elevate your mood to a higher degree, regardless how little.

Maybe this is wrong? Maybe he already has someone and that's why he's not fully on board with seeing you? You know that's impossible because Bambam tells you everything. Or at least, you think to yourself, almost everything. Imagine if you've been crushing on him for five — almost six — years all on your own. Oh God, the horror.

It takes weeks and weeks of failed planning before Bambam finally agrees to set a date for the two of you to meet. In fact, he barely has the time to talk to you anymore. You don't call him out on his bullshit excuses only because you get highly embarrassed after every attempt.

He is not surprisingly "very busy," these days and doesn't have the time to talk that much. You know, it's him trying to put distance between you and him but you don't know why and it drives you up the wall.

The place that the two of you agreed on is somewhere between the half-mark between the two of your universities. It's one of the really huge shopping districts in the area and has the best food. You remember some time ago telling Bam about the place and how bad you wanted to go. You don't necessarily want to admit, but it fills you with something akin to immeasurable happiness when he remembers this seemingly little detail.

You watch amusedly as your friend, Mark, attempts to help you pick something out to wear. Mark is a great friend. If you had to choose anyone else closer to you than Bam, Mark would be it. Mark was usually a very quiet person, given the occasion. But got infused by the God of Words whenever it came to the topic of your supposed-soulmate. He seems more excited about this meeting than you are and that says something.

"Ah," he says now. "Wear that shirt. You know the shirt I’m talking about right? The one that makes your eyes pop? You know, the one."

Okay, so just because he gets help from the God of Words occasionally doesn't mean his sentences come out coherently.

You shake your head as you snicker to yourself. "What shirt? I've got like a thousand —"

He pulls the particular shirt from your wardrobe drawer and waves it in your face like a flag."This one! Take, wear it."

"So bossy," you remark but do as he says. "Also quick question."

"Shoot."

"You don't think I'm stupid, do you? For doing this? Meeting with someone I don't know and expecting something more. Like what if this is all a joke fate is playing on me."

Mark gives you a look of understanding laced with undoubting resolve. You see, Mark is a sucker for the soulmate epidemic. He hasn't found his own yet but he knows his soulmate is out there. If the name on his wrist is anything to go by. He doesn't particularly believe in the system but he definitely believes in the name printed on his body. You would too if you had one.

"Wrong. You do know him, better than anyone else, I think. And the situation isn't that bad. Maybe not the most ideal, but either he's your soulmate or he's not."

Either he's your soulmate or not. Right, you're just hoping for everything good in the world that he is.

"I hate that you’re right," you sigh out. "Give me a minute." You disappear into the bathroom and change your shirt into the one Mark suggested.

It does look good on you, he's right about that. But you still fumble with the corners of it, nervous. You wish Mark could come with you but that defeats the purpose. Besides, Mark is pretty occupied these days with someone else.

He doesn't talk about the person that much but when he does, his smile looks brighter than you remember. You wonder a little if it's his soulmate... probably. He tells you close to nothing about the person, only that he's "working on it," whatever that means.

You walk out of the bathroom and show Mark how you look. He nods, giving you a thumbs up. "Knew it," he smiles as he passed you one of the coats lying on your bed.

You slip it on and look at yourself in the mirror. You're still nervous but at least you look pretty good. Rather look amazing and feel like a cluster of nerves than the opposite. You pick your boots off the floor and proceed to hustle them on.

"Don't worry about the soulmate thing, [y/n]." Mark breaks the silence. "Think of it as meeting your online friend... or something."

"Thanks," you say and mean it.

You think the topic of conversation has ended as you run your hand through your hair, doing your best to calm yourself. In fact, Mark walks with you outside as you wait for your Uber to arrive and your mind has already picked something else to fret over.

Using the tip of your foot, you kick stones on the floor and watch them fly across the street. You're about to continue the endeavor when Mark finally speaks up again.

"You mind if I say something?"

Your head snaps up and your lips pull into a frown. "Go ahead."

"Don't just see. Your soulmate is more than how they look. It's how their eyes light when they smile, how much they care and have compassion for you and others. It's different things that add up to make them much more attractive."

You're not sure where he's coming from but you pay attention to his words because he knows something. You don't know much about Mark's soulmate mark but you know it's not the first one he had. You know his first one had ended among stardust, something to be forgotten about with someone else.

"Sometimes the system is shit but usually it's pretty right. So, don't give up on them before you've even met them."

"Thanks, Mark," his words hit somewhere deep in your chest and it stays there. "I needed that."

The Uber driver pulls up and before you can think of anything else, Mark is pushing you forward. For a moment, you're tempted to remain here and not go and find the voice in your head. But this is your chance! it's the only time that you truly think you'd be able to go through with this. Bam is the childhood friend you've never seen, how hard can it be to finally meet him.

You take in a deep breath, pulling the car door open and strengthening your resolve. You're doing everything you can on your end, everything else is up to the universe to discover and work its magic... hopefully. At least, that’s what you're hoping for.

The shopping district is packed. Completely full. If it were any smaller, it would be pouring out unto the streets. Actually, wait, people are on the streets. It's humongous and for a moment you wonder how the fuck you're supposed to find Bam. Especially now that he wasn't answering your incessant cries for him to hear you.

There’s a low thrumming in your chest, you cant really believe that it's finally happening. You’ve waited so long for this and now that the moment is here, you can feel the hairs on your neck standing at attention like you would know the second your eyes connect with him that it's him.

"Bam!" You manage to duck around a group of high schoolers that have no sense of boundaries and get back on the sidewalk. "Hey! Answer me! Where are you?"

It takes several moments and even more almost near-death instances with other passerby's before he finally hears you.

"[y/n]?"

"No, who else is the voice inside your head Bambam."

There's a laugh, no matter how small, that leaves his lips and it soothes your bones. You stop moving and find a corner near one of the numerous shoe stores and lean on one of the cream-colored pillars. You’re anxious. Actually, no. You are agitated. There are so many things that could go wrong, so many things out of your control —

"Where are you?" He asks as if you hadn't asked the same question mere seconds ago. "I just got here."

Sweat lines your brows as you look around and notice a few landmarks beside you and narrate them to him. He clicks his tongue in agreement and you assume he's on his way over. Wow, your heart is starting to pound faster than you thought possible.

He lets out a worried chuckle. "Are you nervous?"

"As fuck."

"Do you think being soulmates is all that is cracked up to be? What if it's all a scam and they're all just pretending and we’re just going to get disappointed?”

You think back to Mark's words and the feelings bubbling in your chest. If this isn't what being a soulmate is, then what is? You don't care how Bam looks, you don't care about Bam’s flaws. Not when you know them by heart already. You just want to meet the boy that makes you believe that there is a deeper meaning of stars. You just want to meet the person that's kept you afloat for so many years.

"I don't know Bam. I just really really want to meet my best friend.”

His breath hitches and a smile tugs at your lips. “You’ve never said that out loud before.”

“But I think it. I think it all the time.”

“You’re my best friend too, Princess. Hardly any competition,” he says with calming certainty but you already know.

Neither of you have ever said the titles aloud to each other because there was never a reason to. It had become one of those things that just happened.

Wrapping your arms around your waist as a quick breeze moves by, you breathe out. “I think being soulmates is more than we can understand."

Bambam doesn't say anything in response but you think that if you could see him, he would be nodding his head. Not in agreement but not in disagreement either. You can't help but think that maybe Bam likes you better as a best friend than as a soulmate. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that since they both get love in their own respective ways. But you're not sure you can take being just a friend... not when you're finally taking the initiative to be something extra.

Another sharp breeze whizzes past and you watch amusedly a few people shriek as they try to rein in their hair and children. You're about to bend down and re-lace your shoe to help curb your nervousness when you feel the first drops of unsuspected rain. Shit, the weather forecast said today was supposed to be clear skies. That's why you and Bam agreed to meet today, that was also why there are so many people here on a Thursday. That’s why—

Today is supposed to be a good day.

"Bam, what are you wearing?" You say just as he says,"I'm here!"

You don't know what you were expecting. Maybe the skies will crack open and a dove will fly down and tell you exactly who you came all the way here for but nothing like that happens. In fact, the only thing the sky is cracking is a dark and loud thunder. You push yourself off the pillar, trying to find something — anything — amidst the frenzied crowd.

"Is that you in the yellow beanie?" His voice comes out in frantic pants and you think maybe he ran here. "The red one? Black?"

"I'm not wearing a beanie. Are you in a leather jacket? A coat? What are you wearing?"

"Uh, um, it's a brown coat. Reaches somewhere near my knees. What about y—"

"I can't see anyone in a brown coat—" you get rudely awakened when someone bumps hard into your side and you trip over your feet, but before your face can come in contact with the ground, someone graciously reaches out and steadies you.

She looks like she’s also in a hurry and doesn't even wait for you to thank her before she's back on her way. You still shout your gratitude and hope she knows it's for her. You're not paying attention to in front of you and just as you whip your head around to keep searching for Bambam, you run into someone else. Something goes off in your head as you repeatedly bend your head and apologize to the person, cursing yourself for being so out of it.

"Bam, I'm in a blue coat. It's three sizes too big, my hair is a mess, I have my phone out and I'm waving like a mad woman," when you realize that you've gone too long without him interrupting you, you ask almost solemnly and with an almost dejected feeling in your chest. "Bam?"

That's when you feel it. That sense of being utterly alone that you don’t want to ever feel. You feel it now and you know this is wrong. So incredibly wrong. You whip your head back, looking for the person you bumped into.

This cannot be happening. Where is he? He was right there, wasn’t he? Why can't you remember anything about him? Why can’t you see him?

Browncoatbrowncoatbrowncoat.

You felt it. It was sharp and it was loud and it ripped your walls apart and it felt like your mind was being dowsed in cold water, again and again, and again. It felt like the first time when you were seven years old and suddenly the voice in your head came in without a filter. It felt strikingly beautiful and now it’s gone.

This shouldn't be happening... but it is. Rain droplets are falling down faster and people are hurdling around, heading to their cars, entering empty stores but you can't do that. You have to find him. You swear on everything that you are, that you just met him and this shouldn't be happening. Things weren't supposed to take a turn this way. He was right in front of you and you didn't —

Is this it?

Pushing through the decreasing crowd, you try to find something you don't even know. Is he looking for you? You don't know if you should scream his name and hope it reaches him. He couldn't have gone that far if he'd felt what you felt.

You're begging the universe now. You'd done your part, it wasn't supposed to be like this. He was real, he is here. You should be able to find him, you have to be able to find him. Everything hurts as your mind runs thoughts into each other, drawing up blanks, muddling into themselves. Nothing is helping because as the pain increasingly gets worse, so is swelling in your chest. Like you'd finally found it. That thing that everyone's been talking about. That stupid, damned soulmate epidemic. And like you’d stupidly allowed it to slip right through your fingers and —

"Please, please, please... The system, the universe, whatever you are... I believe in you even though I do not fully understand you, but you can't do this. You can't wind me up to this point and then laugh right in my fucking face."

You're ridiculously on edge now and you're pushing forward in the crowd. Looking, scanning. Bam said he'd dyed his hair blonde-silver weeks ago. You look for any sign. Anything that points to him. You're not even sure about your next course of action when something else catches the corner of your eye.

There's someone else you see that's dividing the crowd away. Everyone else is moving one way; out of the rain but he... he's different. There's a sort of unadulterated fear and glint in his eyes and for a second your heart stops.

It's like looking into a mirror. Truly a moment in time that you would never be able to forget, not that you'd ever want to, but its the principle of the thing. You weren't even a hairsbreadth next to each other, weren't sharing a kiss, weren't even exchanging words, but the unexplainable intimacy that skittered and burst between the two of you as you wordlessly and hopelessly locked into each other's gaze was intangible. It choked around your chest and demanded to be felt and you did. You suddenly feel like you can sense everything and anything all at once.

I feel you around me even though I can't exactly describe what I'm feeling.

Your legs are moving before you realize it and you shouldn't be crying like this. Tears shouldn't be streaming down your face, mixing with the rain. You shouldn't feel as warm as you do under such circumstances but you do. Oh god, you do. You've been told that you're an ugly-crier but you can't stop the heart wrecking sounds leaving your lips because you can just tell.

Intimacy is not something defined by purely physical attraction. It's the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see into their soul, you'd read this somewhere and how right the person had been.

Fourteen-years-old you that had begun to fall for the voice in her head is over the moon, begging the universe to not bring her down. The present you is on a train wreck. Piecing things about yourself you'd never bothered to do before.

Your mind keeps going back to the person who tells you when you're on some bullshit and smacks sense into you. The person that knows how to calm you down during times you don't think you can. The person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. The person that has always been there. That's what your soulmate means to you; the person who shows you everything that's holding you back.

A few months — heck, a few days — ago, you would have never come to this realization. That Bam simply is the most important person you'll ever meet. There's no dispute about it, nothing you can say that would change how you feel at this moment.

He's standing in front of you and you know you've forgotten how to breathe. How can you? When everything you've heard in your mind has to have led you to this moment. This moment that the two of you have been so afraid of. You don't want to go back, who in their right mind would want that? You want forward, forward, and then some.

Everything is connected, like an ocean that twirls and fills, ever-growing and ever-changing. New rivers flowing into oceans day by day, and once the bond is created, no matter how superficial, the connection is unbreakable. That’s what this feels like.

His hands connect with your forearm as he pulls you gently out of the rain and into the nearest café. You don't pay the surrounding environment any mind, so you can't even describe it if someone asked you. All you can think about is his hands on yours, how warm it feels, how you should be feeling cold but all you feel is burning hot sensations. It's hard to explain something you've never felt before but it feels safe.

Your mind is busy running loops around each other, taking him in. His appearance. The silver-ish hair looks breathtaking on him. You have a hard time placing the former voice in your head to him. He's so... different. Different meaning good, by the way. Something you’re not used to but something you want to get used to.

Bam leads you to a booth somewhere near the back and even when you take seats opposite each other, his hand doesn't break away from yours. Instead, he reaches down form your forearm to grasp your fingers. You take your other hand and furiously swipe at the tearstain marks drawn across your face, sniffling as you do so. You’re a mess. A real fucking mess. But so is he.

You'd always imagined meeting your soulmate in better conditions. Most certainly without crying your ass off like an idiot, but you can't bring it within you to care anymore. The rainwater has caused your clothes to stick unceremoniously to your skin but the same goes for Bambam. There's nothing to be done though. It's already happened and that's that.

He wipes the tears from his eyes too and you smile through your wheezing. It wasn't just you, and that makes you feel inexplicably full. You both wait for your emotions to settle down before anyone attempts to say anything. Your heart is pounding wildly in your chest and you're sure he can hear it because you can hear his.

"Never knew you were such a crybaby, Princess."

You scoff amidst your predicament. "Yes, you did. I never knew you were so into dramatic entrances."

"That's was totally unplanned,” his eyes widen a fraction. “I thought... I thought I'd lost you. It felt like I was being torn open.

Honest. You decide you'll be honest too.

"Yeah. I felt like I'd just missed my only chance and I was never going to get it back. I started praying—"

His laughter breaks your sentence, his eyes are lit up and damn, you do understand what Mark was saying. His smile is so much better than you could have ever imagined. It's greater. It breaks through the walls enclosing your heart — something that rubs you almost the same way the stars do. Even if you'll never be able to reach it, you don't care as long as you see it.

"Praying?"

"Shut up," you use your free hand and cover your eyes. "I was really distressed. I thought I would never be able to hear you again and I —"

You feel his hand wrap around the one across your eyes and he pulls it slowly down. Now both of his fingers are tangled into both of yours. Christ, this is better than his voice in your head. This is better than anything you previously thought you knew.

"I prayed too," he says even though there is still laughter on his lips. "I couldn't imagine my life without you at all. Can you imagine how dark that would be?"

No. You can't. You can't and you don't want to because you've met a boy whose eyes show you that the future, the present, and the past are all wrapped around the same thing. There's something indefinite about being with him. Like it could never really be broken. That your chance with him was never even lost, to begin with. It was always there just waiting for one of you to reach out and close the distance.

"I mean, this is so much better."

"Than what?"

You bite your lower lip, trying to find how to word your thoughts without sounding like the sappy romantic that you are. "Than imagining you in my head. I can see your smiles, your smirk, your mannerisms. There's no comparison really."

"Do you think we'll last?"

"I think we met and know each other for a reason. I think if the Universe didn't think we could last, they wouldn't have bothered to give us each other."

He nods, your words making him feel better about this situation. It's beautifully terrifying this feeling. When he was just the voice in your head, it had felt like you were inseparable. Now, at this moment, it feels like you are one and the same; one soul inhabiting two people.

"You're right." He reluctantly lets go of one of your hands but keeps the other wound tight. "You know what I think?"

You raise an eyebrow at him, but rest your chin on your palm. "What do you think, Bam?"

His face turns serious, he wants you to understand that this is something he's felt for a long time. Something that he's hard a hard time coming to terms with. Something that kept him wide awake in the middle of the night. Something that while he was trying to put distance between the two of you, he realized.

"That things happened the way it's supposed to," he says.

"Really?"

"If you hadn't fallen out of the tree that day when you were seven and broke your nose, you wouldn't have cried so hard that it physically drew me into you," he licks his lips before he presses on.

"If you hadn't let me convince you to dye your hair any other color but brown when you were fifteen, I would have never known how stubborn you were when you wanted things your way. If you hadn't bombed your Biology exam and gotten so pissed that you wanted to whack something with a baseball bat, we wouldn't have looked at the stars together that day and subsequently, we wouldn't be here because neither of us would have had the courage to do anything."

You know he's right. If all these small, seemingly unrelated things hadn't happened, you doubt you'll be here. Sitting in front of him and wondering how the universe did something so beautiful. There were so many things about him that added to this moment too.

His uncanny urge to always seek you out before he went to a dance audition when he was nine and got dumped in the playground by the most popular girl in school. Concurrently punching his ex-girlfriends new boyfriend in the face and you having to calm him down when he was freaking out about heading to the Principals office. When—

He traces the back of your palm with his thumb, effectively bringing your thoughts back to the present. "People usually fall in love. But some people — we — were already born in love. That's how it feels between you and me."

Forever. That's what this feels like. A promise for more and with everything you are made of, you know this will last for forever.

Frankly, you really believe that there is an invisible red string tied between him and you and that it has stretched and tangled for years. It has withstood everything your soul has to offer. Been there for you when you didn't know it even existed. You know that it won't, or rather can't, break because your souls are tightly fitted together.

You and him until when forever is meant to be. You and the former voice in your head; the boy that you truly believe deserves the name as your soulmate. You’ve got nothing left to give him that he doesn't already have or know. There's a new awareness soaking into your bones. That the two of you, now that you're together, are spectacular.

A/N: oh my god, i hope people like this and tell me what they think. thank you so so much for reading!! ahh, please do tell me if you liked this :)

⇢ masterlist

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213hiphopworldnews · 5 years

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All The Best New Music From This Week That You Need To Hear

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Keeping up with new music can be exhausting, even impossible. From the weekly album releases to standalone singles dropping on a daily basis, the amount of music is so vast it’s easy for something to slip through the cracks. Even following along with the Uproxx recommendations on daily basis can be a lot to ask, so every Monday we’re offering up this rundown of the best music released in the last week.

This week was the last huge release day of the year, offering an incredible new album from The 1975, hip-hop heavyweights like Earl Sweatshirt and Meek Mill, and a new song from Grimes that is one of the most divisive of her career. Yeah, it was still a pretty great week for music. Check out the highlights below.

Earl Sweatshirt — Some Rap Songs

Earl Sweatshirt’s relatively quiet time between his 2015 I Don’t Like Sh*t, I Don’t Go Outside and now felt very deliberate, an absence from the spotlight as much about keeping his own mental health as it was anything to do with his career. But like anything that we can’t have, that gap makes Some Rap Songs all the more anticipated. Earl remains one of the most singular voices of his generation, offering an album that is light on features and heavy on feelings.

The 1975 — A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

The 1975 continue the transformation from teen-approved curiosity to critically-acclaimed juggernaut. And they do so on their own terms. Sure, you’ve probably already heard the best moments of A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships thanks to a steady rollout of singles, but damn if those singles aren’t something special. This is the album that catapults the band into a new realm, where their critical cachet matches their commercial viability.

Meek Mill — Championships

If anyone deserves a win, it’s Meek Mill. Following an ungodly time spent behind bars for what is widely reported to be utter bullsh*t, Meek is back where he belongs, not just out of prison, but on the tips of the tongues of the music world for the art he has created. Drake shows up for one of the most anticipated songs of the year, Jay-Z causes a stir with bars that critique Trump, and the likes of Cardi B, 21 Savage, and Future turn up. It’s enough to demand a trophy.

Jeff Tweedy — WARM

Between Wilco, Loose Fur, Uncle Tupelo, Tweedy, and Golden Smog, the world has never been at a shortage of projects to appreciate the work of Jeff Tweedy. But he hasn’t released a whole lot of music under just his own name, and that changes with this solo album. Without the pressure of Wilco behind the project, Tweedy is as relaxed and comfortable as ever, offering up a collection of songs that showcase the sturdiness of his craft.

Lil Baby — Street Gossip

Lil Baby has had quite a year. He’s already offered up his first proper studio album, Harder Than Ever, as well as his collaboration with Gunna, but the name of the game in hip-hop these days is maximum saturation, and he’s back with one more before the end of the year. Despite this being his first offering out of his last six without some variation of “hard” in the title, that doesn’t affect just how hard the rising rapper goes. Meek Mill, Gucci Mane, Young Thug, and Gunna all turn up on the offering.

Kaytranada — Nothin Like You / Chances EP

One of electronic music’s most exciting artists is back, at least in a limited sense. With little fanfare, Kaytranada has dropped a brand new EP, complete with appearances from Ty Dolla Sign and Shay Lia. It’s his first bit of new music since his amazing 99.9%, and will hopefully be the kickstart of the next chapter for this magnetic producer.

Grimes — “We Appreciate Power”

Remember when Grimes’ label, 4AD, had a big conflict with the singer and the world was left to speculate exactly why? Well, listening to the songwriter’s nu metal-referencing, AI-discussing, and honestly quite wild new single, it’s not hard to imagine what the issues could have been. Is this the most extreme of the upcoming new Grimes material or the most tame? We’ll have to wait to find out, but in the meantime, it’s hard to deny that she’s sticking to her guns and making music that literally no one else could.

Sharon Van Etten — “Jupiter 4”

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It’s been years since the last Sharon Van Etten album, enough time for there to be a t-shirt campaign asking when the next album would be coming. And as seen on previous single “Comeback Kid” and now “Jupiter 4,” the time has been put to good use, crafting a whole new sound so the artist who could easily rest on her laurels. “Jupiter 4” is dramatic and grand, emotionally charged but pushing her aesthetic beyond just that. Van Etten has never sounded so rich and free, and it suits her marvelously.

Los Unidades — Global Citizen EP Vol. 1

Coldplay just released a pretty fantastic documentary about their band, but they are also pressing forward with a new release. Well, kind of. They’ve adopted a new moniker for this one, putting out a charity endeavor featuring the likes of Pharrell Williams, Stormzy, and, uh, Nelson Mandela. The band is such a huge global presence that this offering makes a lot of sense, likely appealing more to their international following specifically than to their English-language one.

Mark Ronson — “Nothing Breaks Like A Heart” Feat. Miley Cyrus

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Miley Cyrus has always had country pulsing in her veins, just look at who her father is. Still, this collaboration with Mark Ronson uses her twang to its advantage, evoking her Southern roots for a lush pop gem. As our own Caitlin White notes, “If “Nothing Breaks Like A Heart” is indicative of Miley’s new phase, though, the sonics are a welcome left turn.”

source https://uproxx.com/music/best-new-music-this-week-earl-sweatshirt-the-1975/

#hiphop #hip hop legend #hip hop history #hip hop #music #trending #hip hop news #ballin #hip hop scen

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haeroniel-doliet · 6 years

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thbleugh but what bich is gonna fight me for me

idk im just gonna rant again, im sorry if youre on mobile just like, give it a big flick and fly past this i tried i actually have a read more this time

anywy im feelin shitty an dumb n weird an its not fun?? like do we try categorize these feelings:

1. i have 3 days to pass a course and all the course work i failed to do in fucking march

1.b. all those emotions to do w unis great! but also ive been solow and sad and dysfunctional its not rly even funny, grades dropping many levels in half a year like. sure grades dont define my life but considering how easy it is for me to get those grades to see them consistently and kinda dramatically dropping isnt helping (even though like i actively know i got lower grades bc i didnt fucking attend class or take in any knowledge. i realise hahah im making a psychology reference bc im a smart psychology uni student.... hmh oh yeah we, we learned about this, i dont know it. my peers do. oh. oh i didnt, i didnt learn anything. oh no. im here to learn abt the subject im supposedly loving and thats the best fit for me bc like hell id be an artist. anyway i have a lot of shit down here i havent figured out who to talk it out to. the mental health advisor didnt have the time for it rly and w counsellors its been different topics but now were in summer and id rather spend the spare money i can rattle off my parents on ballet than a psyhc i could see 2 times best. im just gonna have to wait till septembet bc my dumb white wall subscitption expired too damnti. ugh im just, okay lets move on

2. inadequacy thats not justified? like it is obvs bc it bothers me and i know i can do better and i am better than this all and i clearly have smth stopping me. while to others im doing just fine if not better than them who are really struggling and kinda dont have sympathy for me who goes ‘ugh im doing so badly and struggling, i mean i write perfect essays in one go but its just so hard to do thattt and i know im smarter and better than this’ esp bc say putting words together in that way is difficult on them and not been good at school

2.b. like being good at school but noot being good now, classic phenomenon or has my school system always been the softes most coddliest and where in the normal or worse school 1would have performed average and maybe learned to study and the worth of it to do better, ive just been good enough that caring became so unnecessary i need to waste my time on pointless but constant other things. like youtube and rpchats. constant monotone stimulation for hours. andhours.

2.c. asking for help bc im struggling w actually getting over the fuzzy and struggle and self hate and blegh feelings to do some work thatd allow me to pass the coursein my 3 days of the very last extended time. and then realising, ah either youve slaved over your work and stressed and panicked to have it good and on time and have no pity left for me and my foolishness, or you never got to uni/struggled to go to uni and think im wasting my opportunity by being an ungrateful lazy piece of hsit. and i know ia m. and 2.d. its the reason why im not doing extra volunteering or serious extra curriculars thatd give the headstart in my lfie. bc, even tho on one side i wanna be that kid and owuld scoff at ppl not doing it who are here for fun and get a degree on the side, rn i see it as not stealing away dedicated good peoples spots who deserve to get the extra recognition for being clever and independent, meanwhile knowing htat probablyill be just fine. worst case scenario for me is literally (ok theres worse but v unlikely) living w my parents and ending up at a mediocre service job to another mediocre office job or smth and never get to a lab bc i wasnt sufficient enough and i never got the cotton balls out of my head and cleared up again to be smart enogh

okay what next, shitty privilige, crying abt my cotton ball head or not being smart

3. okay were gonna do the smart first bc my chest hurts and i kinda feel like crying or smth abt it. like in a dumb (fun) chat im playing athena known for wisdom and all this shit, and though i can throw out a quip or two or cleverly use smth to keep the smartass wisdom stick going on, every now and then i realise how dumb i am and not smart enough that another person could clearly fill this in much better. like. you know all the hilarious posts abt mansplaining and women being pushed out of their fields by dumber men who think they know better bc the others a woman and like, yeah? things where they are confident enough to say, actually i am way smarter than you and i know this bettr. here i am feeling like even if i spent years researching smth i wouldnt have the confidence to feel smart and knowldegeable abt it. like rn, i cant even hold arguments anymore bc im a fool. and i come off as dumb and i dont want to be, i still wanna be the smart kid, but im not working my brain im not doing work or research or learning, im jsut floating by w my cotton ball head thats getting fuzzier and fuzzier and though i can do tasks and would probably b v compeittive if it came to that and need to prove myself as smart, i can no longer feel like id hold my own, esp when people poke holes so easily, trap falls, “hah you dont know what to say ive bested you you dumb bitch” vibey things i just. its horrible? i wanna be smart and be confident in my smartness and feel recognized as smart by other people and live up to that expectation of actually being clever. and not just, knowing im smart enough in some ways bc school ive passed so easy w always good remarks and participate well in class discussion and all, and im sure nobody thinks im rly dumb bc if i have to ask things im v friendly and try to be attentive. and idk if nobodys expecting more than me, bc again if i cant answer ive developed to be v chill about it and come off as average i guess.

anyways 4. privilige; like thers multiple inc. the fact im fucking finnish aka my education system was supposedly one of the best, i grew up international so i wasnt even confined to one shitty school in one shitty town, ive had varied school experiences and switching so much i think has given me confidence in myself and shit like that. also bc im finnish i get grants in uni, like free money. and so far i have barely had to use it bc surprise my parents are togther and decently well off bc they got lucky w a job being fancy ppl for 3 years and my older brother is already adulting and slowly doing his own thing so i can have more money from them. aka. catch my dad paying all my rent and food and everything i need/ ask for on the condition we keep a good releationship. and im reasonable bc he raised me smart apparently idk. but that still means im living at home i have no intentions of becoming an independent home owner bc idk how i would esp since ill be with my parents most holidays for years to come and idk even when or how ill become a real adult being in a real home w real comapnionship. bc rn idk who im even gonna live with, hopefully be civil w them maybe even make a bit of friends but im not gonna have a significant other to move in and support me for a while bc thats a thing idk if were getting into today in this why im feeling shitty rant.

4.b. so im priviliged in everyway to go to uni for free (damn i gotta apply for that again) in a nice country and a nice and supportive school and get funding from both my parents and my country and not worry abt money and just get a degree all supported and babied again. im also, idk. priviliged bc, fuck writing comes easy to me, i know nayone reading my rants would be like... yeah this is barely legible and terrible writted and mind blurts so i say it is yes bc its mind blurts but i can organise my htoughts into fancy essays surprisingly easy and critical stuff like psych and english came mad easy to an extent. sure, i wasnt talented in math but i still made it, i am not talented in science but sometimes the concepts click and i can . but then, im also talented in art. and im not ashamed to say its privilige disposition or talent or smth, bc damn. i do not practice or dedicate enough love to claim that. sure, ive drawn always, sure, ive practiced more as a kid thatn other kids and thats probably carried me thru pretty far, but i think ive just had a natural disposition to be good at art technique (creativity maybe not so, or inspiration) but i know what looks good and sometimes how to achieve that. cue montage to art class where i sit w my friends who are talking about bands or making outlines w nut shells bc there i am beside them doing the work in half the time twice as good. mostly bc the teacher wasnt great and would assign essentially copying a picture from a4 to a2 u know like drawing the same thing. and thats not easy. and youre supposed to build up really light layers and slowly refine it. and ppl who listened only ended up w shitty light drawings that either look like potatoes or vaguely like the picture, while i with boosting confidence would go, we only do one super light sketch one medium sketch and one dark layer. bc by the medium one everything is in its place and looks abt like everyone elses and i need the dark hues to show it accurately even if it isnt perfect, and my work would like almost always stand out on the wall bc it was so different/advanced. i wont lie it influenced my friends to not draw as well or as much sitting next to me, and ofc id feel bad and i could never boast bc i felt bad that they didnt try bc they saw me, thought mines not gonna be like that so im just gonna fuck around and do whatever. and i obvs needed praise but would always feel bad bc it was obviously me who was the best in that class and its so self conceited but, it kinda just was true in that small class half of whom didnt want to be there. me butt kissin and trying to impress myself w my skill. catch like, that first day he asked us to draw the person next to us, and i made my partner draw me first, bc i just knew if i went first theyd look at it and draw me a potato stick figure in 5 seconds and say i cant draw like you. and true. while the rest of the class made sketchy circle guys, some looing so childish, here i went and said, okay i find it awkward having you stare at me and if you move a lot it makes it harder to be accurate, so, like take out your phone and get comfortable and look down at that for a while hence drawing3/4 unlike anyone else w eyes cast down and damn if i dont remember it being beautiful and identifiable as that friend, even tho the teacher told ppl around me like, ah yes she did it this way, 3/4 not face on which is much easier. which is true but bitch you never said. sides it looks so much better and was so much less frustrating. anyway, even now in that chat i go and like drop my drawings in bc partially i just wanna draw more and showing people makes me draw? u know. and i kinda wanna get compliments. but ive figured im pretty humble abt it. and sure i get comments that are like god i wish i could draw like that from someone that doesnt draw arms or legs and theyre v bublehead cartoon. and im like. you could. but yours is still middle school level, so just, keep working at it, get confidence to break your mold.

that andtheres this one chick that,,,, gawd, well they admit to being a sociopath in chat which is great and seem real attention seekery in general (theres a surprising amount of people, while in midst of rp and getting compliments go “well i guess im a shit rpr because nobody wants to rp with me ://) post art and then be like dramatically UGH i hate it it looks so bad im terrible at art, literally poster girl for fishing for compliments. and even if i dont like the style at all, i try give in anatomical pointers or smth abt the drapery or smth technical i can complement. bc id want the same i guess? and i dont love let alone like the art itself. and then, while getting so many of those theyre like “yeah well nobody likes my art, say it reminds them of this character (jessica rabbit while all hers have big hips big tits tiny waists massive lips massive eye, but just one eye bc the otehrs covered by hair like theres obvious similarities) which means im totally not original like i thought so why even try!” and other melodramatic things that i can argue, but they dont wanna hear it they want attention and praise and i just ughhh i could preach you about how no art is original and its all from influence, or how someone doesnt have to like your style to appreciate it, or someone might love your style and like. basic stuff ive figured out myself. and it gets frustrating trying not to get a superiority, or to start shoving my own art in there to try compete or smth. and its just. hard. idk. id k. i know theres people who are averse to art and never tried to be good at it who are obvs gonna be omg thats so good i cant even draw and ill be like, hah yeah sure dude if you tried maybe btut thanks.

also drawing man its so weird, whenever i see someone elses drawing a part of me goes “we must draw so that we can show were better than that” like, either to get complimetns and shift it to me? or to just show them off. to be like. i can do it better. which i kinda hate about myself? that i draw mostly bc of that and a need to show off? like amxxs art or smth, them talking like yeahh ugly art is good art, drawing is so healing i feel great or im so proud of myself for improivng so much look at my art, and a part of me goes, awh yes! my theorys proven working on art for yourself improves and can cheer you up, another goes, yesnow i must draw to show how good i am and show how i too feel fulfilled by drawing but also make it about me by weeping how i hate drawing myself. literally smths wrong w me seeing others pot abt their midrift, or learning to accept their curves or drawing themselves or smth, and theres a gremlin of me going like yeah but i cant draw myself bc i tried once and it looks like shit and ill only highlight my flaws and im slightly afraid of someone saying it looks exactly like me or other dumb shit, or i dont have curves to accept bcim not big hip big thic thigh girl im just. my legs are big but mostly ugly bc of the skin on them not bc of their size (ankles tho oof) and i have no hips i have no butt bc it allwent to my stoamch thats also ugly and my broad badly postured back thats also ugly w these spots and marks and scars soon probably. and saggy boobs dont forget those. bc theyre literally fat sacks aiming for the ground i guess. anyway. no cute curves, no beautiful skin no nth its just tough and i cant help but feel the negativity towards myself in almost every glimpse of someone elses positivity. i dont always air it which would be horrible of me to do, but its still there. making their happiness about my misery. maxx loves their boyfriend?> i hate them bc i dont like him and its rining it> i hate them havingsuch a dreamy but fake seeming ‘soulmate’ relationship bc its not true and i think itll end up terribly> im neveer gonna have that and im jealous of them i guess having someone theyd dedicate so much to and who loves them so much theyre all over the place making sappy things> well theyre an oveer romantic whod do it over the smallest things this wasnt a great example.

anyway yeah extra note, even if i felt comfortable enough for sex im not comfortable enough in my body for that and idk how thats relevant to anything but i guess thats smth id also talk w a therapist abt whod probably tell me, then dont have sex! like yeah thats my plan.but im talking never gonna be able to form a relationship bc even having a friend for a sleepover makes me uncomfortable having them see me in an uncontrolled clothed position. u feel.

anyway i have a lot of little problems that amount and i guess when i start addressing one the rest pop up their ugly heads and this is why i never getanywhere. this all comes from how shitty i feel from how i have literally not even 3 full days to complete those tasks and pass, and i know i need to, though nothing in me actually feels like itll actually do the work u know, that spiraled through that chat into privilige of being at school and how i should tryy a bit that turned to im priviliged to be smart to pass and in my talent in art despite not being an artist that spiraled to another way i disliked myself and thats my fucked relations to myself my body and relationships (esp including me that dont exist)

side note, though no surprise if for some ungodly reason youve read this shit i wrote at 8.30 am when i have a docs appointment abt my very ugly skin at 12.45 i over share. easily. if somseone asks id give them all. look at this. even in that chat i spiraled from, hah fun fucked up thing im almost failing my course bc im a shit, to my heads filled with fuzz and i hate that i cant live up to my potentia. and im surprised how much i like this one guy, though who with his character ripped into my athena and make me question all my smartness, really makes me feel better ooc??? like theyre genuinely nice and just too informed and funny and playing the dick for a very well thought out reason (drunk doesnt mean it etc) and while the sociopath gal is giving me the side eye after they tried to help but figured out im a prviliged kid whos in school for free and not making the most of it and how easy school has been forme when for them despite their hard efforts they failed high school.u know not reallly helping kinda making me fele worse bc i know i should be doing better and could be and not only bc i have a priviliged opportuntity to and ability, i would benefit so much more if i did it for myself. but here comes by weird guy who slips on a freudian approach and claims they love helping ppl through their problems so i drop another overshare paragraph if he rly wanted to help but lighten it by taking thetopic off, he doesnt return and never address my post bc now its onto talking abt the big rp thing. im not mad. i just, idk i kinda wanted their support, another poor stranger to inflict w my extremely troubled wordy lengthy and i guess complex thoughts and feelings and lack there of sometimes and other shit.

anyway im not doing great but im gonna grab 3 hrs of sleep before the doc, come back, nap, go to ballet again, come back, ad.... do smth.. work. maybe. one can hope. i hate it will it actually work only time can tell and i hate myself already.ugh. i hate i hate im not okya with this why cant someone else deal w me for me. deal with all these feelings and botherings and make me do my work and be satisfied doing it and do it all in time and feel a little success and reward myself like i should for work done and not just when i want. idk. someone,t ake over my life, you might be better at it. help me dela with school that i currently hate the most even if im meant to end up a scholar or smth

#rant time #bc i guess i need to vent out my feelings that are just annoyingly complex and i cant actually deal with them #aka i hate myself #but not like actively or aggressively #i prefer not think i exist but thats not even covered up above #just bullshit #dont read if youd like to keep your day being nice

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