#also I cant help but say that this entire thing feels so manipulative
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alright i know it a bit off topic to what you are doing right now. but is angst really necessary for a character. all it does it make me feel so horrible for them. just saying
This is tumblr, the rule for this is to block me/the angst arc tags and move on. If you are who I think you are, Im going to take the step myself for both our sakes.
This is my story. Youre not obligated to read it, youre not obligated to keep up. If the content upsets you, you dont force the writer to change the story they want to write. You leave for the sake of your emotional state. I wont take offense to that as we all have our tolerance for upsetting topics/stories. (God knows I have my own.)
As for angst being necessary?
Have you seen the shit these characters go through in canon?
You can make the argument for everything being cartoon violence but DO REMEMBER that Hal Labs themself has made final bosses scream in pain while youre in the process of giving them a soul-smashing beatdown. And in the case of True Arena for Mags -- you can hear him begging for help in the bg as you fight. (Epilogue also has a lot of angst. Fucks sake one of Mags' "taunt" animations has him crying.)
Im not exactly adding angst where there isnt. It is simply an extension of canon.
Or do you speak of my more painful arcs, like False Paradise or Back to Zero?
Again, they are simply extensions (in my interp) of whats given in canon. I take the canon stuff seriously in my writing, thats just how I do. Those events have lasting effects on the characters. You cant say someone gets possessed and theyre all hunky dory the next time you see em. Wasnt Dedede implied -- no. Straight up SAID by Hal --- to have had trauma from Fecto Forgo? So for my way of writing things, Whos to say the others didnt as well?
In terms of the relationships for those two arcs. (+Nova Incident too what the hell.) Magolor wasnt the best person. He still isnt, sometimes. Healing from what hes done while he was lashing out, for all parties involved, is not going to be smooth sailing. Sometimes things start to look up but and then go nasty in the middle. Thats just the way things are.
BtZ's basis is touching on how puppy love/crushes tend to die the longer you know a person. You find things you dont like about the fellow you admired. And that breaks them apart. Its very fortunate in rhe end of this arc though that both parties see their mistakes/flaws and learn to accept and grow with them, and thats why they got back together.
Angst makes good payoff.
And about excessive angst? Thats subjective. And I always resolve them in the end. (Hell, even Legacy has a good ending now...mostly bc I nuked it after the rewrites). Im not really good with ending things badly, so my stuff always wraps up on a happy note. (I should probably post more of the fluff stuff tbh, but its impact is heavily reduced without the angstier context.)
Tldr, in my interp/writing style, angst is indeed necessary for the character. One, a lot of it is already canon anyway. Two, this is my way of exploring/extending the character and their themes (Mags leans heavy on trust and forgiveness). Three, all of this makes for more satisfying closure/payoff.
#jfc get off my case and let me write what I want.#opal owl hoots#also I cant help but say that this entire thing feels so manipulative#it really feels like you want me to change the way I write bc it makes you upset. Im sorry that it does but#Im not obligated to do that. YOU however have the choice to just turn away. So. do. that.
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Brian/Hoodie, Toby, + Eyeless Jack with a chubby S/O
Brian, Toby, + EJ x Gender Neutral Reader (Separately)
[Anonymous Request]
Genre: Fluff + NSFW
Content/Warnings: NSFW but no smut, lots of body talk (all positive), so if that makes you uncomfortable be aware, oral sex (reader receiving), Toby likes to suck titties, Toby is very handsy
A/N: i’m almost definitely projecting on this one cuz i have a chubby partner and i lub him🥺
Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!
Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out
Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)
Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!
Brian
[SFW]
Brian’s a pretty lanky lad, he’s built like stickbug
So having a chubby S/O would be a WONDERFUL contrast for him!
His favorite thing is being able to use you as a human weighted blanket
He cant fall asleep without you, not after that first snuggle session! Your presence is so warm and calming
You’re just perfect for cuddles, especially spooning
Any excuse he has to wrap his arms around you, he’s taking it, 100%
Big bear hug with a playful squeeze to boot
+ He’s asking you to sit on his lap any chance he gets
Oh there are three other chairs you could use? But he loves you:( Sit with him:( He’s just a little guy:(
( (manipulatively) )
I’m sure we all know that finding plus sized clothes that are cute but not expensive as FUCK is way too hard, but that problem is completely out the window now
Brian has mad sewing skills, so he can alter OR duplicate anything you’d like!
(The only catch is he has to make/get a matching one for himself, this is non-negotiable, sorry)
[NSFW]
Of course, we can’t always be family friendly wholesome here
Let’s just say he loves having so much soft, plush skin to grab onto
This man is a head giving god, like ridiculously skilled
And not only that, he really enjoys doing it. For him it can sometimes be more enjoyable than the actual sex part
He looooves grabbing onto your thighs and hips while he eats you out, just grabbing handfuls of everything he possibly can
He gets really into giving oral too, like closing his eyes and moaning and just giving it his all, completely invested
He’s gripping on for dear life
Don’t be surprised if you have bruises in the shape of his fingertips
And if you’re feeling especially generous, make sure you squeeze his head with your thighs
It’s his fave ❤️
Toby
[SFW]
Honestly this segment is gonna be pretty short 💀
Writing anything SFW for Toby is hard, he’s too much of a horndog
He’s also a cuddle bug much like Brian, so a lot of those headcanons could apply to him
He’s very tactile so he tends to be grabby, especially with your thighs and love handles
Not even exclusively in a sexual way, a lot of the time it’s really just a sensory thing
His hands just absentmindedly wander, and you just happen to be close by most of the time
He’s not a big fan of anyone or anything laying on top of him at all since it makes him feel trapped, so he likes laying on top of you instead!
It really helps calm him down after he gets hyper or upset
[NSFW]
Forgive me if this is a controversial take, BUT:
Toby is a boobs guy
And I don’t just mean breasts, I don’t just mean AFAB chests
Any sort of soft chest fat will do
He’s using his mouth a loooot, sucking and biting and leaving little marks all over your chest and nipples
And every chance he gets he will grab your chest
You could be fully clothed doing something completely unrelated to him and if he walks by he’s slipping his hands under your shirt
He’s grabbing everything tbh
Once again, it’s a sensory thing that can wind up horny
He loves your thighs even more than Brian does
Thigh jobs are his fave ever, not only because your thighs are easy to get to at all times but because they’re so warm and soft and perfect!!
And the entire time his wandering mitts are squeezing and groping every bit of skin he can get to
Jack
[SFW]
Since EJ can’t exactly rely on his sight, he has to use his other senses, one of the most common ones being touch
He can be touchy too, but not in the same way Toby is
He doesn’t grab or squeeze or anything, he simply runs his hands over you, often over your clothes
He likes feeling the softness and the curves of your body, just tracing his fingers over your hips and tummy
Especially holding your face, rubbing his thumbs over your round cheeks and admiring your beauty in his own way
He also headbutts like a cat when he wants attention, so don’t he surprised when you randomly feel his face against your stomach or leg
If you really wanna show him love, let him lay on your chest while you scratch his head
He likes to be able to listen to your heartbeat
Jack has many animal like behaviors, one of those being kneading or ‘making biscuits’ like a cat
If he’s kneading the soft skin of your stomach or thighs, that’s how you know he’s suuuuuper comfortable
Like, as comfortable as he can possibly get
Be prepared to be used as a pillow very often
[NSFW]
Jack is also good at giving head, but not in the same way Brian is
He’s not as skilled or practiced, but you can’t go wrong with up to five squirming tentacle tongues working to get you off at any given time
(Plus, he purrs, which basically turns his mouth into a vibrator)
He also really enjoys fingering you, and will often use his hands and tongue at the same time
Your insides are just so warm and soft, and he’s attracted to that heat
He could get lost in your warmth and sweet taste
He’ll run his hands gently over your body the entire time, and it’s certainly not unusual for him to knead during these sorts of activities
He likes to lick you as well, and if you allow him to get a bit carried away, he’ll run his tongue up and down your body
There’s just something about your plush skin and wonderful curves that completely captivate him in a way that nothing else can
#creepypasta#creepypasta smut#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta x reader#gender neutral reader#creepypasta fluff#eyeless jack#eyeless jack smut#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack headcanon#eyeless jack fluff#ticci toby x reader#toby rogers#ticci toby headcanons#ticci toby smut#ticci toby#marble hornets#marble hornets smut#marble hornets requests#marble hornets x reader#marble hornets fluff#marble hornets headcanons#brian thomas#hoodie marble hornets#hoodie x reader#brian thomas x reader#hoodie mh#brian thomas smut#hoodie smut#hoodie headcanons
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thoughts on barty canonically crying for his father to save him while being arrested?
to me, whether or not the crying is “real” is one of the key moments of barty’s ambiguity in the text and i love that it’s never answered. barty’s ambiguity and the unresolved tension between the parts of him that are “true” and “pretend” is one of my favorite things about him (i think of the classical greek term, polytropos) and i wouldn’t rob him of that by trying to give an answer.
i can definitely speculate but it's just such crucial scene in my opinion. under the cut i'll talk about the implications of both options. if i had to title a barty character thesis it would be the line from that passage: “and the boy continued to struggle”
OPTION 1: it's fake
this was my gut reaction at first. faking innocent tears is his best move in that situation and we know him to be manipulative & a gifted actor. it would also have been an audacious and hilarious move given that anybody who even remotely knows him would know that he’s not a simpering little loyal sensitive son & serve as a final way to fuck over his dad— playing up the picture of the Son That He Should Have Been. it would also explain crouch sr. being like “Lmfao Take Your Lying Ass Immediately To Wizard Jail”
OPTION 2: it's real
however, i believe that it was real. i dont mean that he actually thought he was innocent or anything but i think the tears were real. in my interpretation we’re watching barty grapple with this farcical trial, knowing full well the outcome, and crying for his entire wasted life. to me, that’s more compelling.
i try to keep in mind that barty doesn’t have a father in the traditional sense, he grew up under imperius with a disembodied Father-Voice in his head telling his body what to do— he doesn’t know him as an actual man. in barty’s experience, his father is more like an old testament God. so it’s fascinating that he was able to leave & rebel to the extent that he did under those circumstances. he continued to struggle.
i love that he’s acknowledging himself in this moment. it’s a plea for help technically, but i tend to read it as more of a condemnation: “I’m your son!”
this is the first time in years since leaving that he’s seeing his father again, this time in physical possession of his own body. but again he’s quite literally in chains. and now all that secret dictatorial control over him is in front of an audience. i see his crying as his elektra “filth teaches filth” moment– if I had to place more of my own emphasis on his words it would be “I didn’t do it— I’m YOUR son”. in this context, “Mother, I didn’t do it. It wasn’t me” resonates harder.
i also cant talk about this scene without calling attention to this specific moment:
the line “i didn’t know” feels so… out of place? and guttural? it almost doesn’t make sense in context (saying “I didn’t know” feels more like an excuse for guilt rather than a denial of it) and that incongruency renders it so… honest? and then it’s sandwiched in the middle of this confession that we KNOW is a lie but it hurts for some reason… he didn’t know it would turn out like this. but i think that deep down he did, and he hoped that it wouldn’t.
i think that barty thought he could leave, and he thought he could try and arrange himself into a semblance of his own person, and he thought he could have something of a life. but there was literally no other possible outcome for him— who just happened to be born misfitted to the circumstances he was raised in, and who struggled fruitlessly his entire life— and trying to leave was a naive schoolboy’s fantasy and his apology comes out in a naive schoolboy’s words. he didn’t know!
and this is also why it's so awesome that he breaks out of jail AGAIN and kills that man lmfao. (cardi b voice) Murder scene, Barty made a mess / POP UP, GUESS WHO, BITCH?
#barty meta tag#i really love this one ive been putting a lot of thought into this scene since you sent this ask. sorry it took me so long#i was waiting to formulate some concrete thoughts i seriously Stand By first#a#t
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I don’t read a ton of fanfiction but I don’t mind labru as a ship and I like longing and devotion and erotic bloodletting, use this as an excuse to infodump if you like, convince me to read :3
You have no idea the can of worms you have unleashed thank you so so much
Ok so disclaimers :
1. NSFW. Naturally.
2. Bloodletting may be putting it diplomatically. It’s blood sucking. Vampire horny style but no one is a actually vampire.
The fic takes place in the post cannon, with Kabru serving as Laios’s royal advisor. Their professional relationship has put them in proximity of each other near constantly, and the simmering obsession that Kabru has had about Laios through the story reaches a boiling point when Laios reveals that he’s become (monstrously) obsessed with Kabru.
What gets me (aside from just like. my own sexual proclivities lmao) is the imo perfect Kabru characterization. I think a lot of people misunderstand what drives him and so when they write him it feels kind of odd. Kabru isn’t a manipulator,in t like abusive sense but he is a…social engineer. And a compulsive liar. And obsessed with Laios. He’s a nice guy, but acts amicable helpful and friendly to mask his social engineering.
This fic really gets that Kabru will say things, not without meaning them, but some part of him projects an image of cool confidence and he will act subconsciously to maintain that mask - in the interest of furthering his own goals. Those goals in this fic happen to be finding plausible ways to be intimate with Laios while maintaining some sort of professional veneer. It also employs a very subtle head cannon of him dealing with intrusive thoughts (kill Laios) in a way that I find pretty authentic and endearing as someone who also deals w intrusive thoughts.
And Laios. Again, characterization is really on point. This fic plays up the like chimeraization of Laios, and it takes his hunger seriously in a way that I think a lot of other fics and the main storyline often play for laughs. It’s about the need for satiation and satisfaction, but never feeling fulfilled. His desire disgusts him, because he’s been told it should, and as king he has every thing he could ever want. But he’s still Laios, he’s earnest and truthful and awkward and what he wants is Kabru. Inside of Laios’s appetite (all meanings of the word) is deep shame and inside of that shame is the sensory seeking autism need to feed on food that is forbidden (monsters, Kabru)
Kabru occupies a space in Laios’s life in the post cannon that we don’t really see equivocated in the main story. During the story he certainly cares deeply for his other party members and values their insight 100%. But Kabru is regent to the throne. In the day in day out running a kingdom, Laios is no figurehead but he works intimately (lol) with Kabru to compensate for his lack of social graces. There’s also the like, subtextual bodyguard implications that Laios is perfectly capable of defending himself but Kabru is acutely trained in combat against other humans, making him especially useful to a newly crowned king in danger of assassination. This is what makes me ship them so hard - Kabru’s story long attempt to know Laios combined with the implications of their post cannon positions
This fic really nails desire as narrative tension in romance - the “I want to, but I cant” “I know we shouldn’t, but we are” Not just erotic/romantic desire either, the desire to maintain appearances, the desire to secure a career. This thing is only three chapters (for now 🤞🏼) but the DEPTH of this erotica is fucking hngdbbsbdbcbcndndbgjgkfkdkdbd
I don’t know when the entire fandom decided Kabru is a trans man but I do like it despite my contrarian impulses. It’s worked in so naturally and I love that its never made A Thing (I don’t even think it’s tagged for it which is what made it a nice surprise in this fic). When Kabru gets hot and bothered it’s discussed in exactly the way that I experience it which makes me just :] yayyyyyyy
This fic brings out the like, service top-ness of Laios also. I’m of the opinion that there’s not a clear top/bottom dynamic between them so I hesitate to put it in those terms but this fic gets that Kabru’s social engineering extends to the bedroom - he knows he can exploit Laois’s earnestness and takes advantage of that leverage
Anyways. I really really should be asleep. My nightly routine has been getting home from work. Lay down. Kick my feet and sigh dreamily about Kabru and Laios for hours so thank you again for indulging me
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I love dune but dune manipulating fire by making him villainize descent makes me so sad.. my girl descent is trying her best, she never did anything wrong in her life ever actually
its really fucking sad man. the odds are so entirely stacked against her, she had to be careful what she said and did because flowers' position meant he could just take entire control of the kids situation whenever he wanted. she wanted to protect fire and rivers so badly, but if she fought flowers she could lose her access to them and then theyd be alone with him
this was a much larger problem after they split up and fire was gone. she wanted to protect rivers from flowers, who was repeatedly expressing reluctance to go with him, but she was afraid of flowers retorting by demanding full custody. i think ive said this before but i dont think flowers even particularly wanted rivers around. it was more something he could hold over her head, something he knew she felt threatened by and couldnt do anything about. i cant help but wonder if he gained some satisfaction in knowing that descent could tell rivers was being abused but couldnt safely stop it. see this is what i meant earlier when i was saying that he gets worse every time i write for him its so grRRRRRRRR
anyways FIRE. fire. yeah i think fire expressed missing his mom pretty often when he first got to the divide. dune felt threatened by this and wanted to assure that fire wouldnt go back to his family. how else to achieve this but to alienate fire from his family? on a surface level her logic is almost understandable; if your mother was concerned with the abuse in her home why did she never take you guys away? kids arent stupid but they are very impressionable. i dont think at the equivalent age of an 11 year old (fucking Yikes btw) that fire would have fully understood the power dynamics at play in his family. dune knew flowers was high council. she knew, at least to some extent, that the situation would have been very difficult for descent to navigate, but it suited her narrative better if she left those nuances out and instead made fire's mother out to be uncaring and inactive
i think dune did a lot of listening to fire at first, rather than guiding things. she wanted to understand the dynamics at play here before she began twisting the narrative, and she also wanted to give fire the impression that she was somebody safe to come to with his problems and feelings. the more she learned, the safer she felt twisting things
have this doodle of descent and rivers i coughed up tonight. saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad guys. the flowers effect
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what if jason wasn’t ever pit mad? what if his actions were his own regardless of how the family try to find something to blame? what if maybe possibly nothing got twisted, he just feels hurt and betrayed and rightfully angry to an extent that he cannot ignore, what would he have to say to dick or tim or bruce in that circumstance? he is so angry and the joker isn’t even around to deflect any of it. he cant come home because someone is in his place. the one person he always turned to wasn’t there. he doesn’t know who he is anymore and he can never go back to how things were. bruce didn’t believe him when he said the guy fell was so quick to assume the worst so why would he ever believe them when they try and tell him they miss him
I’m not sure if this is meant for a particular Au or in a more general sense, but I see what you’re getting at.
Yes I love pit madness, but this is also something super interesting (and important!) because it really plays into psychology.
Jason is suffering from PTSD that, as far as I know, has never been formally acknowledged or treated in a healthy way (the way it was in Gotham Knights, which, once again, I love that game). And you know what’s also part of PTSD? Anger. Anger management issues. Anxiety. Volatility. The whole nine yards.
Of course those symptoms don’t apply to everybody who has PTSD, so please don’t quote me on that, but for Jason they do.
He comes back to life. His previous trauma of being literally beaten within an inch of his life and then blown up only made worse by the experience of having to crawl out of his own grave. And then he gets taken and manipulated by a cult of assassins, made to believe Bruce replaced him with a new kid as soon as he was in the ground.
It’s… not a good combination for the kind of trauma Jason’s been through. If we assume he was in a vulnerable state of mind to begin with (which is entirely valid with what we know went down) and then subjected to ruthless training that didn’t teach him how to handle his trauma in any other way than violence? To direct his anger and despair at something tangible (Bruce and Tim and Joker) instead of coming to terms with the root of it all?
I think at that point Jason was grasping at straws. Something to keep himself afloat with. If he didn’t have his anger and his resentment towards his old life and the people in it, he would have been left with only fear and sadness and perhaps even a sort of vacancy that’s very difficult to handle without help.
The anger and the violence was better than the alternative.
#ghost talks#look I really wanna get into scientific talk here but it’s very hard for me in English oof#so yeah have this instead#this is just my take on canon and its effects on Jason’s mental state#but yeah I think he’s got a bad case of PTSD#and I really wish it got acknowledged and handled seriously in canon#instead of just labeling him as volatile and destructive#psychology#jason todd#red hood
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its like I desperately DO want to explore Iroh maybe emotionally manipulating Zuko his very manipulatable nephew. NOT because I hate Iroh and think his actions in the show are all 100% manipulation but because I love him and how shitty he is. He's like shitty on accident and it's great.
"Whoops accidentally isolated my nephew whoopsies accidentally formed codependency with him. Oh well time to play scrabble" its so slay
THERES THIS UNFINISHED FIC I READ ON AO3 THAT GOES SUPER INTO THIS ACTUALLY i loved it so much it had such a heavy hand in changing how i view iroh (because when i was a wee middle schooler and first watched atla i too viewed uncle iroh as a do-no-wronger). at least the emotionally manipulating part. heres the link if you wanna read it :) now under the cut im about to spazz a bit on the topic of iroh and zuko and im not gonna make anyone read this word vomit unless they really want to LMFAOOO
the way i see it book 1 iroh was still in the dregs of grief over lu ten and was also still dealing w The Order which i imagine had him on thin ice for a WHILE before he managed to score the grand lotus promotion.
i personally dont think iroh was THAT distantly caring of zuko like he was portrayed to be in the fic i linked above and on the contrary i think he was having a Horrible Time during zukos recovery from his burn. but he was still distant in the way that he didnt know zuko that well yet and it was mostly the guilt on top of projecting himself and his feelings about lu ten onto zuko (the first of what will become Many) and thinking along the lines of “how could any father do this to their son, it angers me because id give anything to have lu ten back”, but then once iroh comes to love ZUKO then its “how could ozai do this to zuko”
but despite all that theres still a seven layer salad of problems, miscommunication, misunderstandings, guilt, baggage, and projecting. iroh comes to love zuko fiercely by the end of book 1 after he snaps out of his apathy and is forcibly booted from the ship, therefore a fugitive and therefore harder for The Order to access. SO, he can finally focus on getting ozais venom out of zuko. sadly, as ive said before, iroh only managed to get some of the venom out of himself not even a full decade ago. And its worse, because irohs an older adult.
thats not just a childhood and teenage years of propaganda and crimes. its a whole lifetime. And hes on time limits. sozins comet is coming. his nephew is really good at catching up with the avatar. the order tells him that sentiment and guilt cant get in the way of their goals. its a nice idea to realign zukos ideals with The Orders so iroh has an heir if he decides to take over once they hopefully topple ozai, or if he doesnt want to rule at all so zuko can take over instead- but if ozais venom reaches too deep and zuko cant be helped, The Order will take the measures necessary to remove him from the equation.
between the stress of trying to get zuko aligned with being ok with the avatar toppling his dad and sister and entire nation in less than a year with whatever methods the avatar sees fit, only like a few gallons of his own fire nation bullshit problems being flushed out a few years ago with plenty to spare so hes Really not the best at trying to get his nephew see things iroh himself doesnt even fully see, not realizing that zuko isnt the kind of kid that does well with vague proverbs and prefers it straight forward (and with enough tact to phrase things in ways that wont make him flip out when he hears things hes not ready to hear yet but at the same time without sugar coating), iroh is obviously not gonna do a perfect job.
matter of fact, id go as far to say hes not gonna even do a good job. ill give him one chewed up star and say he did a halfway decent job. a lot of people credit him for getting zuko on the right path as if he was the one that did the heavy lifting, when really he got lucky that zuko managed to pull himself out from under a fucking MOUNTAIN of deeply embedded propaganda and violent physical and emotional abuse trauma in under a few months versus iroh whos still working on it after YEARS. and his doesnt even include the abuse trauma. zuko is strong as fuck and that is his strength and nobody else deserves to be credited for that. iroh gave him pointers and a nudge in the right direction, but didnt give zuko a map and also made him take the route that involved zuko crossing the bridge with an evil goblin that would only let him pass if he solved his riddles three.
but DESPITE ALL OF THAT! despite all of that never getting properly resolved and discussed and brushed over- partly because brykes stinky asses giving irohs character the 180 and making him all ~hoity toity righteous ive never done anything wrong despite my obvious hypocrisy thats so bad it smells~ in book 3, partly because parents like iroh who have 100 million things wrong with them along with being bad at communicating barely Ever get their head right enough to sit and talk these things out with their kids, iroh and zuko still love each other so, so fucking much.
its the little things and the implications that get me the most?? iroh basically collapsing onto zuko during the siege of the north when he leaves zhaos ship and burying his face in zukos chest. zuko telling iroh that for the last time hes NOT playing the tsungi horn. iroh pestering zuko into going back to the port to find a fucking tile for a game that iroh can just buy new of and zuko just growling and stomping off. iroh pumping his fist and grinning at zuko beating up zhao during their agni kai. their banter. his nonchalance at zukos bluntness and rudeness. iroh bothering zuko into going to bed to no avail. his snarky remark at zuko sitting in his room in the dark instead of going on a walk with him. iroh sucking up their argument from the night before over ozai and going with zuko to join azula despite his suspicions while glowering at all the soldiers like a huge snarly bear protecting their cub. like UGHHHH THE VOICES THE VOICES!!!!
its just not a realistic parent child relationship if there arent an equal amount of softness to ease through the complicated tangles.
its the apology plate of cut fruit after the shouting match. you hate it because its like why wont you just say sorry to my face with your words, but then you realize you wouldnt know how to respond in words yourself, so you just eat the shitty cut fruit and say youre sorry back by doing some equally lame act of service later that day just to make the ground fully even again and all is forgiven without even having to say it outloud and both of you are thinking we’ll definitely talk it out later. later wont ever come but the love wont leave anyway so who cares (you both care).
i literally love them SO much dude i dont have enough words they have so many issues we should feed them ibuprofen by the spoonful and put them in a blender
#IM SORRY THAT THIS IS SO LONG ANON#this isnt even the 10 page thesis i told you guys about i could go on longer but i shall Refrain#HEURGHHHHH#asks
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Can I ask what makes Arlecchino evil? I'm v much a villain enjoyer and like some morally greyness, but I genuinely didn't pick up on a lot of bad stuff with Arlecchino. She was super helpful during Fontaine and seemed to be the only powerful person who cared about helping the common folk when the water levels were rising.
I'm not here to start an argument, just wanna expand my view 🙏
dw didnt think u want to argue! i will also use this to say i wont tolerate arguments, this goes for everyone here
i will talk about sensitive themes under the cut (mentions of when i was groomed/emotionally abused by my adoptive father/mentions of abuse/grooming in general) so if someones not good with this, be warned please and dont click for your emotional comfort.
i really love arlecchino (theres also difficult, personal reasons ig) and id rather wait for her to arrive to get more information than we have so far through other characters/side quests/main quest but well.
her goals aligned with ours in the fontaine quest which is why we have the impression shes a good/nice person, especially considering our other meetings with the harbingers we met so far (signora, childe, scara, dottore) and the situations. shes very calm and diplomatic (lets see how it changes in the next update when we fight her)
but we shouldnt forget how the travellers on their toes the entire time/everytime they come in contact with arle. its because shes a harbinger after all. shes a danger. her graceful politeness and calmness is supposed to have you on guard, make your hairs rise. shes mentioned to be manipulative and shes manipulating others to achieve what she wants by being nice and calm. she has ulterior motives. we should be careful. this is my impression based on my own gaming experience and idk if it was the same w others, but bc of us being on guard around her i was always prepared for her to turn on us until the end of the main quest.
anw, arle is supposed to be intimidating and have you wary. even tho she comes off as nice and polite, having done good and helped in the main story. its bc thats what she wanted and you happened to have the same goal. also lets not forget scaras and childes thoughts about her which already tells a lot
she has two sides. the one we saw in the quest, the graceful, calm, polite face to get what she wants. and the other, the one scara and childe talk about here, the one they call "crazy"
not to mention her codename, "the knave". what does it mean? servant. what else does it mean? "dishonest/deceitful man". basically, swindler. isnt it perfect?
shes manipulative and whatever her "true" nature is, we dont know (yet). she may have "good intentions" here or there but will achieve them no matter what it takes.
as for the thing you can consider as bad; the house of the hearth is an orphanage that raises children into fatui agents. only those who have potential join the ranks while the others are kept close (its not known whats done with them afaik). theyre basically grooming/raising child soldiers/spies.
before the sensitive stuff comes up, for the ppl who dont want to proceed, arlecchino fools/manipulates you into thinking shes a nice person/good parent. its amazing and so in character for her. its also scary how some ppl cant see the abuse/manipulation unless you went through this too or well. just actually read and realize it.
arlecchino is an emotionally manipulative parental figure. now, this is coming from someone who went through heavy abuse/was groomed by their adoptive father who was extremely manipulative and i spot so many things very well known to me. others who went through the same get this feeling. these signs you immediately recognize.
you get punished for the tiniest mistakes and when you get loved, it makes you forget all that was done to you, just for that tiny bit of affection you crave. you try to do your best, to do everything asked and expected of you, not to disappoint the only parent you have and youre dependent on, to be a good kid deserving of love and when you slip up youre in shambles. there was a time i did a tiny mistake by accident and my father said to me in the coldest voice "you broke my trust" and i remember so vividly how it broke me, how i cried until i got sick. i was physically abused before and none of it hurt me more than this. it still gets to me after all those years. emotional manipulation is cruel
what im trying to say is, she came in a time of need. taken as a savior while it just is one abuser swapped out with another. like my adoptive father having me dependent, giving me love i never received and being everything i wanted, making me believe hes everything i need, a common thing abusers do. wanting to do everything youre asked of and do it good, the fear of disappointing and being punished, believing you deserved it bc its your fault and treating your abuser like a savior, being conditioned. this is whats happening.
now, arle genuinely loves and protects her children; its very clear that the life of the children matter to her the most (look at childes line and freminet/lynette etc) - she was one of them too after all. so, its possible to love and still do these. moral greyness etcetc
anyway idk if its understandable or if i can explain it in proper words while maintaining a good distance so ill add the voicelines of the siblings heavily implying this, and also a tweet adressing this that brings it to proper words, better than i can say
tweet here bc tmblr doesnt insert the link properly
#idk if i want it be rebloggable bc i cant predict if ppl who love turning morally gray/villanous chars into saints come yell at me but <3#reply#rambles
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(mcu!)Peter's love for Spider-Man
I saw a few reddit comments that frankly really bothered me, so I just wanted to ramble about how Peter being somewhat bothered by having to be Spider-Man in ffh and nwh (ffh esp) is more than insanely justified. He will never hate being Spider-Man, infact i think his trauma likely will spur him on to do more and more, either as an escape or a chance to help people the way he hadn't been helped, either way I believe post nwh Peter definitely still finds his joy in being Spider-Man, it'd be literally impossible to just up and make him stop. This part is more of a personal hc before I get into the rest of the post, but I think if he desired to give Spider-Man up after everything, he would have chosen to make the world forget that instead, from what I understand it would have still relieved his troubles, as nobody knows who Spider-Man is, so why would they know Peter?
Far From Home. People take the way Peter acts during the film as him no longer liking being Spider-Man, and it frankly feels very.. ignorant of like literally everything Peter has gone through, honestly. ffh is post endgame, which good fucking god - that is the most trauma inducing experience any possible 15 (16?) year old teen could endure, now im talking both infinity war and endgame, because both are just as bad. In infinity war, he obviously fights alot, not as much as he does in the second film, but it's still very rough, and well he sorta dies, which I'm sure takes a rather extreme toll on him as he could likely feel absolutely everything happening, because of his healing factor, and spidey sense, it's just a very very scary experience, hell I wouldn't be shocked if Peter was drop dead terrified everytime he felt his spidey sense, (he isn't, but I wouldn't put it past being very possible).
And, in endgame he had to hold the gauntlet for an extended period of time from an insane amount of creatures, he literally was holding the future of the entire world in his hands, I would imagine that'd be actually very, very scary. He's consistently put in unfair positions and made to just 'deal' with it, I'm sure he expected some of this but I cant firmly believe he thought he'd end up in such a crazy situation. Now, most obviously the very big part of endgame - Tony Stark fucking died dude!?!?! Let the kid have some time to grieve... not that he ended up getting any, he's literally already lost his parents, (possible uncle), and now his pseudo father, and shit does he lose more right after in such a tiny timespan.
Point is, yeah the fact he want's a goddamn break is not the most insane thing that's happened, god forbid a thoroughly traumatized teenager wants a break without needing to have the burdens of the world (literally) on him again. It just gets to me each time there are such crazy expectations for him, as if any a bunch other characters or people wouldn't literally crumble into pieces if they experienced the amount of stress a kid like Peter is holding constantly. We also get an actual insight on an exact thing I mentioned, where he has a talk with Mysterio where he just wanted to be a normal kid for at least a few seconds, and god is he owed all of that and more. He never got a break, he never got a real chance to comprehend everything that went around him, he got pulled into a fucking other world crisis and yeah - sue him for being exhausted, and not motivated to attempt that all again.
No Way Home. Okay, to start this off - What the fuck? I don't know how obvious it has to be, but the fact Peter is not ecstatic to be Spider-Man after not only having his "identity revealed, but (all I'm about to say is from ffh, still going to get into nwh in a second) almost being killed multiple times, been manipulated by another adult in his life, had his trauma and losses smeared all across his face, faced with taking down an entire insanely large army of killer - explosive - drones, also faced with the fear of accidentally being the cause for a massive incident", is a VERY fair reason, I genuinely think if he stopped being Spider-Man right then and there, everybody he knew would probably support him, because god the things he went through is mind boggling, I don't know how to capture the amount of damage that must have done to Peter, not even just mentally but like quite literal brain damage, he's a kid - no world this severe amount of trauma is taken any forms of lightly. (Which is sorta shown, when Happy goes to pick up Peter on the flower field, and Peter being afraid of Happy maybe not being real)
I wish people gave Peter more credit than they think he deserves, also god Peter fights to be Spider-Man still all throughout nwh, he does his 'duty' by saving all the villains (whilst experiencing the most heinous levels of grief, post May's death), and does everything he can to save the people of their possible destruction, etc. One could fight for the fact Peter.. sorta did cause all of that, even if indirectly - but honestly, I genuinely cannot imagine a different outcome. "What if he went to the lady first, like Strange suggested" It definitely would have not worked, she literally only agreed because he saved her from a being that wouldn't exist had it not been for the earlier mess up, I literally cannot imagine how he would have been able to get any of fixed or back to a state of tolerable at the very least. Peter deserves (and wants) to not live his life as horrible as expected it'd be, he'd never get to any form of normal again, everything he loved was on the line, and half of the world hated him, (alot, wanted him dead or -behind bars).
Peter Parker is just a kid, that is the first and foremost the most important aspect to his character, because the way everything is affected is so so different its ridiculous, the way he will function as a whole when older is very starkly different had this happened to somebody around the age as most of the avengers, all because his brain is just simply not capable of handling such amount's of trauma, or stress. And the way he functions now is so important too, because he's a kid, n' hell will it be obvious how childish he can think or act.
Lastly, another thing I simply hate that people do is when they find the idea of Peter having trauma unrealistic. I'm very much thinking too hard about his character probably, but he is a character with such complex details, and his life is splayed out infront of us through the films, giving us every event that could likely be a cause of something to happen one day, or something that is a cause of an action he already did. I hate that people think just because he's a movie character he's unable to be an actual person in his world, like how everything is simply black and white when it comes to characterization.
Side Note, - this totally turned into just plain out angry rambling, as I've been just annoyed as a whole ever since I started writing this all. so mind anything I say that may be incorrect, I'm defensive about Spider-Man at 8am in the morning and I haven't slept yet, so typos will be made, and some sentences will probably seem confusing.
(next day now and I think i fixed everything(??), I had decided to post this tomorrow/now when I was more comprehensible)
#spiderman#peter parker#marvel mcu#mcu#far from home#no way home#is this good tagging#im still testing this stuff out#sorry about the length#i usually keep my long rants on main
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i think i have aspd or traits . but i dont wanna go to a psych and be like " btw here are my symptoms ive never told u about before , have fun ! ( insert the entire ASPD criteria here ) . sorry " because that makes me look bad & i appear the opposite ( passive , fearful , not aggressive ) , & dont want to appear as a threat and i most definitely dont want them to think im manipulating them when im not ( like for example when im just telling them my symptoms regarding other conditions ) . and i dont want to admit to committing crimes incase they report me or i have to go through a security clearance for job reasons and they go thru my stuff . anyways as far as anyones concerned i seem nice but weird but not the type of person to have those kinds of symptoms , and i want it to keep my Good Girl(tm) image . but also . i dont want to start having legal issues , become dependent on substances , pursue any illegal occupation , etc since it would suck to get caught and im only 21 so i keep trying my best to avoid it everytime i almost continue with it , but i need help bad lol . any idea of what i should or can do ? anything helps
okay real talk but literally do exactly the opposite of everything ur doing and also get out of ur own head and stop overanalyzing every thought u have to find justifications for not doing the very simple basic first step towards what u know is the right thing to do but just dont want to because being vulnerable feels yucky and ur scared
i say this with genuine compassion and no judgement because i *absolutely* did and still sometimes do the same thing but unfortunately the only way to get urself out of that cycle is to get over urself and touch grass (encouragingly) so that u just Do The Thing u know u need to do
being open and honest with a therapist about ur thoughts and feelings is the only way to get any actual positive growth or help out of it. u cant fix what u dont talk about and keeping it all to urself will only drive u more and more insane. staying cooped up inside ur own mind without telling other ppl what ur thinking out loud creates a feedback loop of crazy. u gotta hear urself talk to another person sometimes to actually really *hear* urself, u know? ur brain is where the crazy is and u cant stay there alone and expect it to work out and get better. u have to talk it out and be confronted and challenged with other viewpoints to realize where urs are disordered
if u look for reasons not to do something u will absolutely find them, and while i could offer rebuttels to a lot of ur concerns, things like how ur medical records and psych details are not that detailed. u doing illegal behavior like stealing or doing drugs is not something that gets listed on those and falls under patient confidentiality. the only thing that gets documented is the official diagnoses name which most therapists are going to be very reluctant to hardline diagnose someone with aspd (and even then it only gets logged with that practice and submitted to ur insurance only if ur seeking care like meds or hospital stays or get incarcerated. otherwise, if u dont tell someone "i saw dr.x at yclinic from 2019-2022, then they have no way of knowing or finding out what that dr wrote on their internal records/notes. there is no centralized database of "medical history" outside of ur insurance company and specific practices internal networks) individual symptoms like "illegal activity" do not get listed and unless ur planning on enrolling in the military or working for the feds no job is looking more deeply than that into ur history unless u personally volunteer it. what comes up when specific companies do background checks with a medical history is ur insurance records. ur insurance only knows what gets submitted to them specifically, if ur therapist doesnt file paperwork with ur insurance to list aspd as a diagnosis they are looking for ur insurance to pay them to treat u for specifically (instead of more generalized things like "depression" "anxiety" or just "mental health care" ect, which they have to get ur permission to do) then there's no paper trail of what u two talk about in that office
or how ur "good girl" image is legitimately worthless garbage and will grant u absolutely nothing in life and clinging to it in the false hope that other ppls perceptions of u will change who u actually are and make u happy is only gonna lead u to looking at ur shitty unhappy life in 5 years and being filled with nothing but regret and anger and wanting to kill urself
or that while u cant know or control how ur therapist sees u or reacts to the things u share with them, u can control who they are. if u fuck up with this therapist or it takes a turn u dont like or they start treating u badly, u can very much just get another one. u can request a different person at the same clinic for any reaosn or u could switch clinics entirely. most insurance in the us is taken by more than 1 provider in an area and there are almost always multiple practices that take the local insurance. and even then, if u wanna drive 45mins to see a therapist a town over cause u burned a bridge with this one u can do that. ur not beholden to a single person, u can get dozens and dozens of opinions. ive had over 15 different therapists in my life. if u fuck up with one u can always get another
but all those rebuttals dont really matter because if u want to, i have no doubt u could find counter points to all those points. i know i could if i tried. so really it just comes down to the simple question of are u going to keep standing in ur own way or are u going to cut the bullshit and take it seriously and do the hard thing because u know its what u need to do? ur young still, uve got so much time, dont waste more of it waiting for the perfect solution or situation because it will never exist. do it now, do it messy, do it scared, fuck it up and get it wrong a bunch, and then try again and again until it works
#jack.speaks#aspd#aspd tag#actually aspd#i know that was a lot and sounds harsh but this is honestly how i talk to myself#and its been the most effective way for me to cut thru my own shit#so pls know im not trying to judge u or be mean or hurt ur feelings or put u down in any way#this is all shit ive told myself before because sometimes u just have to be blunt and say the quiet part out loud to get thru to urself#so i hope that helps u to and i hope u start doing the real work to get better#because u deserve to get better and to have a good life that u enjoy living
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dhil story leaks/bailu theory situation ramble again, incoherent prolly. do Not take this as an established theory that i fully stand behind bc that 100% clueless in my bio is there for a reason !!!
ok honestly im ngl ive confused myself now after looking at the daniel story leaks again and sleeping on it. bailu theory status is pending its literally schrödingers rn im so torn. does the timeline enable for it or not???? it Would explain some things but hhhhhh i cant make sense of it yet.
at first i was like yeah p sure its not happening bc of the dragon heart fuckery and how baiheng wasnt there for the entire course of events only arriving once shit was going down but. what if. df used the heart partially for resurrecting yx??? and then as baiheng sacrificed herself i do find it curious that they specify only drops of blood and hair remaining of her post-vaporization. which are. classic sources of DNA .
and we know dan feng went berserk with his dragon form so its plausible he temporarily regained the vidyadharas ancient but currently long lost ability to just go fuck all gene splicing manipulate biology and living tissue. that ability + baiheng DNA remains + the dragon heart is just hmm.
another thing i realized that i didnt yesterday is that bailu being recognized as the next imbibitor lunae even if her powers are lacking implies she Has the dragon heart (bc its like. not just A vidyadhara heart its clearly its own thing and a huge deal with a critical role in the continued high elder reincarnation line and longs legacy being passed down). so like its clear dan feng had to pass the dragon heart down to her reincarnation line at some point but as the vidyadhara couldnt get him to budge on the hearts status in the shackling prison i doubt it was anytime after the sedition. the IL position has been passed down its just that it wasnt done properly.
so like im thinking there might actually be two separate resurrections happening consecutively?
first yingxing who is possibly either dead or dying as dan feng initially arrives already but the initial attempt at resurrection goes horribly wrong and an emanator (?) of abundance appears + the arbor activates and leads to things like the toxic mist explosion described by the vidyadhara eggs that kills a lot of vidyadhara and eggs instantly. potential resurgence/triggered plague of people being infected by mara on the luofu? yx potentially becomes marastruck then despite being short-lived? (also if the emanator is literally shuhu then... yeah adds up w blades talent name)
and if yx now marastruck is on a clock for how long he lasts before permanently losing his self i can see that being when df uses the dragon heart to stop the mara from proceeding further through bruteforcing permanence to overpower yaoshis abundance as the core fueling his immortality - which is the basic principle behind the draught of draconic surge and how vidyadhara bone marrow is already confirmed to interact with mara. & this would prolly be when df loses control of his form? both fighting the emanator and trying to desperately help yx in time
n like the thing the storys a bit unclear on is just at what point yx had already acquired that perfected immortality of abundance + permanence. but like he must have by the time baiheng arrives on the starskiff and sacrifices herself right? bc whatever baiheng brought w her (some say lan, some say a stellaron) clearly vaporized everything in the vicinity and was enough to strike down the emanator and/or at least halt the crisis with the arbor and everything. and regular mara struck dont come back from that whereas blades still kicking
so with the like mara/arbor/emanator of yaoshi portion of the seditions initial lead up done i feel like baihengs arrival is when the Actual sedition (in terms of an armed rebellion) begins? with the vidyadhara confused but many who survived the initial stage still choosing to stand with dan feng and fight against the arriving cloud knights and all the abominations of abundance
so would this be when the 2nd resurrection and baiheng possibly becoming that furry-draconic mutant abomination happens?? and also how the position/power of the IL ends up passed down although not properly to then-mutated-baiheng and eventually-bailu by df using the either damaged or outright incomplete dragon heart (if he put most of it in yingxing) in the process.
so like in this scenario the 'sin' that yingxing and dan feng share might also be the decision to go fuck it we ball mess with life and death and biology even further (as if the mass casualties so far werent enough) and resurrect their fallen comrade as the new high elder line except it comes out wrong and horrible and jingliu has to put that beast down.
this would also explain part of where the somber tone in blades voiceline about dan heng comes from - if he still understands that the motivation behind that 2nd resurrection was at least to make amends in some desperate way when all they had available was baihengs DNA, a damaged dragon heart with dan fengs hidden DLC cas9 crispr vidyadhara powers still accessible to him. like theres nowhere near the pained sympathy and shared guilt that the tone in the dh line conveys when he talks about jingliu or jing yuan in comparison. it has to be more complicated than "he made me immortal. NOT a fan 0/5"
anyway dunno if its just me but this just makes the beloved thing even more confusing. on one hand "turning the beloved into a monstrosity" really lines up with how the xianzhou views the mara-struck and blade views himself as like. a bass boosted mara-struck on steroids who literally cannot die unlike normal mara victims. and "the one who buried the beloved is you" doesnt kinda sound right for baiheng when all she left behind was just enough genetic material for dan fengs terrible horrible awful no-good cooking class - not a lot to bury. also burying the beloved fits blades melodramatic inner dialogue style and tone with how he considers yingxing already dead and strictly uses 3rd person towards his past self. but also its hard to argue that what happened to baiheng IF the transmutation resurrection theory is real doesnt also warrant a match for "monstrosity". like bailus cool now but that first mutation sure wasnt. she got changed species with no say on the matter
the ambiguity is strong enough that a part of me wonders if its on purpose for censorship reasons tbh. (not an expert on this and by no means want to imply any proper familiarity with the subject. so like if this is wildly unrealistic or inaccurate its fully on me, lmk and ill delete) setting up a scenario where all the homoerotic subtext is clearly intentional and solidified around yingxing and dan feng but this specifically explicit romantic word used Could be twisted to apply to baiheng too for plausible deniability. this assuming they dont actually end up pulling a secret het love triangle reveal in the end at us hhhh im still kinda paranoid - ill be sad but also honestly assume their hands were forced if that rly is the case :/
also at this point it should be expected (thanks hoyo) but EN tl has inaccuracies and if sth i say here doesnt add up with what EN text suggests its prolly bc ive taken into account some of the commentary on the accuracy on reddit. too lazy to list all specifics but ask if sth pops out at u
anyway im so drained this is all killing me . What happened. yingxing. dan feng. what did you Do.
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Thank you for showing me the project sekai facts but sincerely what the juice
It's a really good game teehee :3 let me try and provide context for the ones i understand
-a character can see ghosts. this is never elaborated on (fuck i dont remember lmao. is it mafuyu?? maybe. oh well i cant elaborate on this lol)
-all main characters can teleport to a separate dimension based on their psyches and also hatsune miku is in there (this is the plot of the game! :3)
-a girl imagines her female friend kissing her and gets so flustered those around her are concerned (she rizzes her up good. also she saves her from dying. they also get married canonically sort of <3)
-a song very explicitly about having sex with men, originally sung by all women, is covered by all men (ifuudoudou akty/fantasista squad cover <3 lmao)
-actually correct me if I'm wrong I can't think of a single love song that is covered by an m/f pairing (WRONG akian gimme x gimme)
-a character causes explosions at school near daily (this guy is an inventor and he's Very Silly)
-a character is sad her friends don't go to the same school as her so her solution is to sprint across the entire city and break into their school to hang out. she does this frequently (EMU OTORI!! shes very hyper and yeah her green haired gamer gf questions it and her orange haired world future star ⭐️ bf also sometimes question it but the previous silly guy she is also dating and they cause chaos together)
-a group gets stranded on a deserted island (canon event, the character in the previous one happens to be a part of a family that owns a theme park! she does ambassadorial shows for said theme park and on the way to one their yacht crashed on a deserted island)
-hatsune miku stops a suicide attempt (this girl who lost herself due to severe emotional abuse and manipulation from her mother tried to strand herself in one of the previously mentioned worlds created from psyches, but miku saves her)
-a highschooler makes a borderline if not outright sapient robotic replica of his childhood friend. nobody considers this a particularly world shattering achievement of ai (this is the guy who blows stuff up)
-the robot was created to help with social anxiety/stage fright (the girl is very social anxiety!! she is an INCREDIBLE singer but due to failing in the past, she cant sing in front of others so she uses the doll)
-the robot has rocket launchers (what can i say the guy who made it is very silly)
-the robot has a job as a theme park performer and gets a salary (yeah)
-a characters family member is dead and it takes her three years to find out (light up the fire... eughh.... not much context honestly it is what it is)
-a character has a body guard dressed in a full mascot costume at all times follow her around (she's the girl whose family owns the theme park! she must be protecc lol)
-a character got into fights with professional wrestlers on tv as a middle schooler/high schooler (not sure the exact age) (i actually have no fucking idea who this is lol)
-there's official sonic collaboration costumes (yep, theyre called Sonic Style)
-fuck is said three times and it's all by members of the theme park troupe that performs for children (indeed! law-evading rock twice and ego rock)
-catgirl hatsune miku almost impales a man without realizing it (they do a magic show in which the man went into a box which was supposed to be stabbed with three swords. but uh oh oopsies miku accidentally uses all five)
-sometimes miku is a catgirl (this is true. one of the mikus has raccoon ear things)
original list by @/lagomoz
somehow i feel like this only made more questions for you but oh well <3
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hiiiiiiii! feel free to ignore this ask but what do you like about noelashe? :0 I really like them too but I don't exactly know why myself... the parallels perhaps? the care? the potential? either way, I'm asking you how you feel about them! And I hope you have a wonderful day! :)
so so sorry for the late response but
anon you don't understand how long ive been waiting for someone to ask me this exact question
this may be extremely long depending on how much i feel like talking about so i apologize
spoilers inbound after this point!!
there are many, many reasons ive fallen in love with them and their dynamic, but ill try to condense them into a more readable format
the sections will be as follows:
 their parallels and how they compliment each other
their kindness and affection towards each other
how they treat the other differently to the others in the mansion
more surface level dynamic things i like
the things that got me attached to them in the first place
parallels!
i feel like every noelashe fan understands their parallels somewhat but im insane so im gonna go in depth
they match and contrast each other in so so many different ways, down to even design (i actually made a post about that before it shouldnt be too hard to find)
their personalities are one thing, energetic and tired, extroverted and introverted, loud and shy, cruel and kind, fake and genuine, manipulative and naïve, i could go on but thatd be WAY too long so i'll just mention these
but thats just on the surface, they actually match each other a LOT more than you think
how ashe is more introverted than what meets the eye, not liking people out of distrust, and noel being tons more talkative and social, adoring people and barely being able to hate anyone
noel being smarter than he appears, willing to lie and manipulate for what he wants, and ashe being really easy to fool sometimes, immediately believing anything he thinks can bring back his family
and of course the obvious, their wishes
the same wish, the same pain, they go through such similar trauma with different ways of dealing with it
or so you think, their coping is very similar and this is acknowledged in sirius's conclusion, the only real difference being if theyre violent or not. noel, has sworn off harming people but he's still not above using backhanded methods for his goals. ashe, despite doing awful things for his wants, still has noble(ish) reasons for why he does these things
neither are entirely innocent, but neither are completely guilty
they both just want the people they care for to live peacefully, alive
but both do some pretty fucked up things for this wish, noel lies to sirius and uses dorothy as a ploy, ashe well- i think we all know. ashe commits multiple varied crimes that range from theft to murder and noel's own negligence can be considered a crime in some cases.
they have an understanding no one else does and it creates a lot of interest towards them and develops them as individuals too
kindness
they care so much for each other its insane
noel has trouble seeing ashe as anything but kind and ashe cant help but feel attached to noel even if he doesnt want to, which makes them get close each time and it makes them feel for each other a LOT more than they need to
the times where noel is sick and ashe takes care of him, ashe saying he lied so noel wont feel bad, noel letting ashe confide in him and ashe even trusting him enough to say his worries in the first place, the list goes on
they just have an instant bond bc they want someone to care and help them (even if both have trouble admitting it) and they want to help each other, which just makes them care more
it always ends in kindness between the two and it's one of the ways we get a happy ending
special treatment
i could put this in the kindness section but i think it deserves its own section bc its so damn cute
it does have a little less to go over tho as it doesn't happen much
im also gonna start adding screenshots and such
noel seems to really admire ashe and his abilities so much more than anyone else its adorable
hes so amazed by him literally just cooking and he doesnt comment on anything to do with precise stuff that isnt smth ashe does, i may be wrong but i dont think ive ever seen him comment on smth like sirius drawing talismans which is highly specific but will ALWAYS think about how impressed he is with ashe
he also just
treats ashe in a similar way to claire, like he just casually says ashe saved him which is such a strong word to him with no thought and he LITERALLY SAYS HE TRUSTS HIM UNCONSCIOUSLY BC HE REMINDS HIM OF CLAIRE if that doesnt say smth i dont know what does
and ashe always opens up to noel so much more than anyone else like noel has gotten ashe to talk about himself unlike anyone else, the only other character he talked to about things was claire (technically sirius too but he was drunk off his ass so im not counting it) and that was like once he doesnt even say anything that isnt surface level
ashe also just refuses to harm noel and i dont think anyone has noticed this before
it makes sense if his killings are during the day bc noel literally just isnt there but some other times he has no excuse
HE MOVES TO THE SIDE HERE EVEN IF WHERE HE WAS STANDING GAVE HIM A CLEARER SHOT TO CLAIRE YOU CANT TELL ME IT WASNT SO HE DELIBERATELY MISSES NOEL
ALSO HE COULDVE TRIED AGAIN OR GONE AFTER HIM BUT NO HE JUST GOES "missed one!" AND CALLS IT A DAY IF THATS NOT PROOF HE DOESNT WANNA HURT NOEL I DONT KNOW WHAT IS
surface level things
as much as i love the incredible lengths of their relationship, i also like more simple things that im just gonna put into a little list
theyre so sun and moon guys
BLACK CAT AND GOLDEN RETRIEVER BFS
their color palettes look nice together
babygirl and wet cat
loves to cook and fucking awful at cooking
smartass x dumbass
mutual healing
their symbols being hearts and stars those look so cute together
"i care about you!!" "why??", mutually
little bitch and sweetheart
both are affectionate but neither can handle it
emotionally repressed x the one who wants them to grow again
bfs who rant about their interests
same trauma
very strange guy x doesnt care
"im a disgusting monster" "HOW?"
the black and white good evil thing is very aesthetically pleasing for them
angel and devil (kinda)
why i fell in love with them
theres a lot of reasons why i love them but theres a few very specific things that got me attached
most obvious is that theyre both my favorites, im extremely attached to ashe and i loved him from the start, i didnt start liking noel until a tiny bit later but he very quickly gained my love
i also relate to them both heavily so seeing them care so much for each other gave me comfort
its a huge pattern that most of my ships are of the character i got immediately attached to and relate to and other character i relate to who cares about the first character
the fate line. its just so gay i was like "thats kinda gay" and while i didnt always think of it like it was super important it always stuck in my head like "yeah i could ship them"
but the real thing that started this all was the wine scene
its when i realized how much they cared for each other and then the floodgates opened, and here we are now!!
its still by far my favorite scene of the two it just makes me so happy its so adorable
conclusion
i have an extreme love for noelashe and just seeing them can make my entire mood better
i dont think many people have analyzed them as much as me so its sad to see how much stuff with them goes unnoticed
theyre genuinely so great for each other, platonic, romantic or anything in between, they deserve to be happy with each other
im so sorry for this being so long and maybe really hard to understand but i adore them so much
if you read this all thank you so much!! have a great day
#uso rambles#witchs heart#ashe bradley#noel levine#noelashe#im so insane for them#noelashe the world
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im gonna make a separate post for my thoughts on the Garak/Julian content in A Stitch in Time because I want to first give all my thoughts on what most of the story was about, of course, which was Garak and his life. so, without further ado and under a cut for your convenience, my thoughts on A Stitch in Time!
first of all I loved this book with my entire heart and soul. its an incredible piece of character writing, strong from beginning to end, and it came as no surprise that Andrew Robinson captured Garak perfectly. you can really tell how much love and work went into this book and into capturing Garak at these different points of his life, and so much of what we see of him in his early life really tracks for what we see of him in the show, and reinforces in writing what we could've already gleaned from him in the show. seriously, just on the basis of how good the character writing is, I will recommend this book to any DS9 fan
I was always looking forward to reading this book just as a Garak fan. he's a fascinating and compelling character, with a lot of layers and complexities, and an incredible amount of emotional depth. and this book truly delivered in diving into all those layers of all, all those depths and nuances. Andrew Robinson makes it very clear why Garak is the way he is in DS9, and how he's always been the way he is, for better or for worse. there was never a moment of this book where I went "this isnt Garak", from childhood to post-DS9. you truly get to see how Garak's youth shaped him, and set up who he would become, and it all makes such beautiful sense
I love that throughout the backstory pieces, Garak's sentimentality is constantly his undoing. and I especially love that no matter how hard he wants to stop, he cant. this comes through the most with Palandine, from his days in Bamarren with her, to when he has an affair with her, to when he cant help but see her one more time even when he's been warned away and it ends with his capture. but we dont just see this with Palandine, we also see it with Lokar in Bamarren when Garak lets himself be lulled into a false sense of friendship, and is subsequently blindsided and betrayed. and again, with Remara, even though he is suspicious of her, he cant help but be drawn to her. and later still, to the Federation negotiator. he's a sentimental sap who craves connection, and love, and this bites him in the ass over and over again, but he cant stop himself from trying. how compelling, how beautifully tragic. it makes the end of the book, with its hopeful look at Cardassia's future and heavy focus on Garak's connection to Julian, all the sweeter. because finally, Garak can be sentimental and open and connected. finally, its working out
I love the unflinching approach Andrew Robinson takes to Garak's past. we know from the show that Garak's past is dark and unpleasant, and in this book it isnt sugarcoated. Garak hurts people, he kills people, he manipulates and lies, and he enjoys controlling others through fear. he's capable of great cruelty. I love that this is an internal conflict at times- when he's on Romulus, raising a deadly poison in the garden, and he wonders how Tolan would feel if he saw what his teachings were being used for. but what I love for the most part is that Garak treats torture and killing like its just another day at work, cause to him, it is. its just another job. another assignment. the casualty of the horrific things he does is just so well written
speaking of ways that Garak sucks- love the way his feelings towards Bajorans was presented. in the show I always felt it was a bit unclear whether or not he actually believed what he was saying about Bajorans, or if he was just doing it to piss people off. A Stitch in Time makes it very clear that Garak does believe that Bajorans are an inferior species, and that he is incredibly prejudiced against them. but it also establishes that even with that, he's BETTER than a lot of Cardassians are about Bajorans, which I find interesting. he thinks Dukat is a barbarian for how he treats Bajorans, the enslavement of Bajorans disgusts him, and there's an extent to which he feels pity for them. like dont get me wrong, he's still awful about Bajorans, but its interesting to see where he draws the line compared to other Cardassians like Dukat and Lokar
Garak's family life had me by the neck the entire time I was reading. finding out he didnt even know Tain was his father until he was into adulthood... I need to rewatch every episode with Tain but especially In Purgatory's Shadow/By Inferno's Light because I need to see that final scene between him and Garak again with this knowledge. and Tolan, I loved Tolan. I loved him a lot. I love that he wanted to be Garak's dad, and desperately wished that Garak could've been his son. I love how influential he was throughout Garak's life, and how he was the source of his sentimentality and all his soft parts. I love that Tolan clearly wanted to save Garak from the path he saw him going on, and that in many ways, he succeeded. it wouldnt be for years and years to come, but eventually, as we see- Garak is on the right path. Garak embraces what Tolan taught him, and thats what allows him to heal. to step up into his place and work for a better Cardassia
to me, one of those important scenes for this in the book is right towards the end, when Garak is in the meeting with Madred and the others. and how he's fully planning on being here as a double agent, doing what he's always done best, and then it just hits him how ridiculous it all is. how ridiculous this group is. and he laughs, and he leaves. this is Garak choosing not to stand in the shadows. this is Garak stepping fully into the light, and stepping up, and embracing a brand new role. he's no longer one of Tain's night people. he's free. its a beautiful scene, I could've honestly been cheering if I wasn't so sick while I was reading it last night. one of my favourite scenes in the entire book
ill tie that scene into one of my favourite dynamics in the novel- Garak and Pythas. I love that they were genuinely friends, and that they took pleasure in each other's company, and cared about each other. this is really the one major instance where Garak's sentimentality doesnt do him in as he's growing up, and I love that, and I love how it makes him cling to Pythas all the more. I was fucking ecstatic to see him and Pythas reunite towards the end. I love that Garak got that one bit of happiness, to see his old friend alive, and still happy to see him. that was incredibly important to me, and I couldnt be happier with how it turned out for them
I did love the Garak and Palandine relationship. it was sweet, and desperate, and always doomed to end in tragedy. to me, Garak's relationship with Palandine confirmed what I already knew- Garak has never been able to deny himself what he wants. he knew having an affair with Palandine would end badly for him, but he couldnt stop himself, because he loved her. I also love that we dont get to find out what happened to Palandine. personally, I think shes either dead, or she fled off-world. and I think its important that Garak doesnt get that closure, and he doesnt pursue it- to me, this is where he has to deny himself what he wants, and I think its crucial that he does it not for his own sake, but for Kel's. and he's right to do so. Garak is the man who killed her father and broke her family, so to pursue her for answers about her mother would be an incredibly selfish act on his part. him choosing to leave Kel be, to not approach and to simply attend the meetings, is a massive sign of growth. I was legit emotional while I was reading that bit, but that might be partially because, again, I was incredibly sick last night while I was reading it so I was very sensitive
some other Garak dynamics I loved seeing. I loved that we got a few scenes of Garak and Odo, and their very strange friendship. I love that Odo asks Garak to make clothes for him. I love that Garak genuinely enjoys the task. I love that Odo will join Julian and Garak sometimes for their lunches. I love that we saw the first stages of Garak and Quark's relationship, which I would read as somewhere between professional association and genuine friendship, as much as either of these characters will allow. and the surprising sweetness of the Garak and Rom dynamic took me by surprise, and left me wanting more. I love that Garak is just genuinely fond of Rom and likes him, and that Rom is just chill with Garak and talks to him. the Garak and Kira scenes were so good, and so insightful into them and their strange dynamic. I love that Garak looks back on talks he's had with Kira, and finally has to understand her rage. I'd love to know if he ever reached out to her sometime post-DS9. that would be an interesting relationship to explore
gonna wrap this up now. I truly loved this book so much. what an incredible character exploration. I cannot give Andrew Robinson enough props for so effectively setting up everything we know about Garak, from his sentimentality to his tailoring to where he'll go post-DS9. every chapter had me by the neck, wanting more more more. I could barely put the book down. I think the scenes inserted into DS9 were incredible, and read so well I had no trouble visualizing them. but most of all, I just loved getting to see all these different stages of Garak. I loved seeing what made him into the man he is in the show. I loved seeing what he's doing after. I loved where this book confirmed what I already knew, and where it challenged me and kept me guessing. every choice and interaction and line felt so true to Garak's character, and thats a truly impressive feat. seriously, I cant praise this book enough. I thoroughly enjoyed myself every page of the way
if youre a DS9 fan and you love Garak, and you havent read A Stitch in Time- I highly recommend it!
#star trek: ds9#a stitch in time#in case I havent said it enough: FANTASTIC FUCKING BOOK#it truly kept me sane the last few days because things have been a lot!#im so happy I read it#I loved it so much#I wish I could read it again for the first time#anyways yes I will be doing a separate post on Julian and Garak throughout this book#because while I have a lot of thoughts on them they also weren't the primary focus#and I wanted to get down all my thoughts on the majority of the story before I focused on them
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8 months. gone. i feel really selfish lol. here comes a trauma dump/ fun story :p around two years ago, my online best friend of (at the time) three years, suddenly up and blocked me out of nowhere, with no explanation. at the time, i was between friend groups and was completely friendless irl. (they had actually helped me leave my toxic friend group, promising i would have them if i left them). welp they lied and blocked me and didn't offer an explanation 😀😀 i was alone. i cut, i attempted multiple times, and i kept wondering what i did wrong. they blocked me, so i must have hurt them is what i told myself. that entire time i blamed it on myself: "this is why i have no friends" and "i'm the reason everyone leaves me". bla bla bla. basically i had to learn to live life without anybody while dealing with mental health problems and a bunch of undiagnosed shit. flash forward i think close to seven months??? i was getting dreams about them constantly during the time they blocked me; i would imagine they would come back and explain everything and i'd wake up crying when it wasn't true. rinse and repeat. but then i met my best friend irl .... they were the best thing that happened to me. i finally started to get over my other friends- including the one who blocked me. i went to therapy, i stopped cutting for a while etc etc etc wow i am going on and on about backstory that doesn't even matter. anyway, seven months later after i was finally beginning to heal (my green blocked number texts turned from "im so sorry i hurt you" to "fuck you".) well... suddenly they unblocked me. i had the worst panic attack of my life, cut myself, went into a state where i couldnt tell if it was another dream. but.. im a people pleaser by nature. i said it was fine (it wasnt). i told them they didnt hurt me (they did) i agreed we could start over. that was back in 2022.... its been a bit now. we've met up irl (my first time flying alone whoooo). we've gotten in a qpr..things are better! and i really love them. but anyway, tonight they sent me a full ass document of what really happened when they were gone / what lead up to them cutting me off. it was.... a painful read. mostly because they went through so much trauma, pain and manipulation which i wont say here because its bad and its a lot. so thats why i feel selfish!! because even tho theyre sharing this with me, i can only think about pain i went through when they left me so suddenly. i also found out they left me because one of their new friends thought i was a bad person. they threw out all the gifts i ever got for them, they didnt even give me one text for an explanation. i thought they fucking died at first. i even found out that they were purposly distancing themself from me months before they even blocked me- all because of this new friend. they picked that friend over me... so i feel hurt. is that bad? i feel like a bad person. anyway lol i just found out after they blocked their bad friend ... they came crawling back to me. i dont know... it feels like i was just a rebound– they had nothing so they went to someone they knew would give them everything if they asked for it– me.
i just found this all out and read about all their trauma. i dont deserve to even feel upset about this but i am. im so selfish. btw for content, their friend and them blocked me and thought i was bad because "deities" from their "desired reality" (yes they were shifters) told them i was a bad person. (they even asked their pendulum about me!!! 😃😃😃)
so yeah abyway thats my trauma dump for the day since i cant talk to anyone about it
I AM SO SORRY IF YOU READ THROUGH THIS ALL
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im worried that my previous ask is way too aggressive and might make you feel defensive and thats not helpful at all so i just want to explain that im so angry because it breaks my heart to see other people being violently harassed into submission just for saying something that isnt a popular opinion. you are quite literally being gaslit by a bunch of strangers who desperately dont want to have to think that hard about the material consequences of their own behaviors.
they are simplifying the issue in order to make you look unreasonable so that they can completely dismiss your opinion while giving you no way to defend yourself without making yourself look worse. its manipulative and coercive and vile. they have tricked you into condemning your own behavior and reinforcing that self doubt that THEY planted in you in the first place.
they are convincing you that you have to police yourself otherwise they will do it for you and they arent going to be nice about it.
they intentionally misunderstood what you were saying so that they could ignore the point you were making and thus avoid taking responsibility for their personal role in our capitalist society.
they are operating on this us vs them mindset of "good people" vs "bad people" and they think that they are a "good person" and that you are trying to maliciously assert that theyre actually a "bad person." its fascist behavior. they dont want to acknowledge their place in the web of life because then they have to be more careful about how they act and they simply do not want to. they think its their god given right to not have to do anything thats difficult and reflecting on how you are influenced by the oppressive systems you live in is not just difficult but uncomfortable!
you are forcing people to confront some very very uncomfortable truths about themselves and they are reacting the only way they know how: by lashing out at the people around them.
it is a reflection on THEM not YOU. their reaction doesnt say anything about you or the opinion you stated and everything about the experiences and expectations and knowledge that inform the way they think about the world around them.
i just dont feel comfortable standing by and watching this happen to someone else. so i dont know what it means to you but, i completely agree with your original point and i am more than happy to defend it if you dont feel comfortable doing so. i know how scary it can be to face down a mob of people who you know might turn to violence if you dont comply and i know most people dont find it as easy to take harassment as i do. i am more than willing to fight the fight if you cant.
idk just. be kinder to yourself. you cant let these people get to you. i knows it so fucking hard. its so so fucking hard. but you dont have to do it alone.
i hope youre okay.
hey fren, I've seen it all but I'm sorry I'm not gonna respond to all that, I'm very thankful for your kind thoughts and words but it's kinda a bit much 😅
just know we're on the very same track about the whole thing. It's absolutely hilarious what some people wrote to me about an already reworded opinion on pillows, and i can genuinely just laugh about that
this entire thread turned so badly into satire with so many layers that it could almost be considered an artistic expression. after all, this is the internet, which was kinda the original ordeal of the post, and I took it and made it 1000% funnier by writing too quickly and then people came and made it 10000% funnier by becoming embarrassingly entrenched in some random ass online discourse
I like to half jokingly call this kind of behavior 'internet sickness', since as you also noted you can find this kind of behavior all over the internet. people see an entire universe full of people that seemingly get the attention they don't, but humans are fueled with attention, so sometimes you see someone do literally anything for that tiny tad of attention, even if they don't mean it. this may sound familiar from the way I word my posts sometimes, because as I made clear as day, I'm not better than that sometimes.
Admittedly, I also suppose not all of the angry asks and comments would have been so hostile if tumblr would show late reposts with their comments on an original post more clearly, which isn't so easy. This is why I pinned yet another polarizing post about it with a comment about the situation 🤭 some people would rather click to start another shitstorm than click to find out there's no reason for them to freak out. But often in the internet people don't freak out of hostility, but because they realize (but refuse to accept) they identify with something about the cause in some way, so that would be a positive thing I suppose. It's up to each of us individually to grow from that.
i don't get hard feelings about these people, and genuinely as a former Twitter user I'm kinda used to it. it's just an annoyance at some point, but I suppose it's also the attention I was looking for 💁
After all, I get to post this lyrical masterpiece once more in a well fitting context
#let's see how many new angery asks I get about this one lmfao#may be worded a bit poor#I literally got up early on a Saturday for my fulltime week job#Because the company must grow 🫡
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