#all i have rn are crushes on fictional characters and it's not enough. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wosemi-sama · 2 months

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and the crowd went mild 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 also no chara dividers im lazy rn

these r so short id add more but im rushing rn sorry lmfao 😭😭😭

intended lowercase!

misc. obm hcs

LUCIFER

wakes up at the ass crack of dawn every single morning.

wears those old man pjs. with the long hat and fuzzy slippers and gown. you know the one.

most bitter coffee you've ever had in your life how he can drink it is astonishing.

his bed, his mattress, his pillows are all as hard as rock how does this man SLEEP.

sleeps like hes the corpse at the funeral hes that one image

MAMMON

will pull you into a headlock and call it a hug.

LEVIATHAN

guy who had mountain dew and cheeto dust in his veins instead of blood. guy who marinates in his room for two months straight. guy who- (i am immediately shot dead).

did a collab with the anti-lucifer league to create a 100k words dialuci fic to piss off lucifer (dont worry about him he got paid in anime and tsl merch).

TRULY believes he is the #1 tsl fan. and also #1 ruri fan.

wimp who VOLUNTARILY makes you cosplays if you are a cosplayer or even if you aren't. it will happen.

vtuber fan. he was like "hey i wanna be a streamer but i dont wanna show my face but i also want to be an anime boy! wait-" and now hes a vtuber.

has accidentally referred to all of his brothers as "chat" at least once. hes never recovering from that btw.

SATAN

cannot stop annotating books he reads for the life of him.

all of his books are just filled to the brim with sticky notes because all he does is annotate.

once he has a crush he will start imagining him and them in the same scenarios as the characters in romance novels he read. (loser alert!!)

sneaking a new cat into hol like once a week (he never succeeds btw).

ASMODEUS

oh boy his room REEKS of perfume and body spray.

"i sprayed my new perfume in every nook and cranny! smells so floral and elegant, don't you think?" (it smells like a bath and body works threw up.)

surprisingly plays the trumpet and BOY is he loud. bro is absolutely blasting those notes.

worst driver ever btw.

BEELZEBUB

freckles all over!! like a lot. *im not beating the insane allegations*

ate like 27 family size dorito bags, 30 dollars worth of taco bell, and four sprites in one sitting and he still hasnt recovered.

sleeps. like a lot. not as much as belphie but enough to be considered an eepy guy.

BELPHEGOR

will randomly grab every blanket and pillow he can get his hands on and make a nest in the common room if he's up to it. and then have everyone make a dog pile in it just so they can hang out and be silly.

will NOT clean it up afterwards. lucifer will tell him to and his only response will be "im tired..."

freckles like beel too i think theyre silly.

9829364 cow plushies. (theyre all from lucifer)

SOLOMON

will randomly gaslight people for no reason

"hey did you do the homework"

homework? what homework? there was homework? my, what even is homework? never heard of that.

"hey, i heard of this animal from the human world called a giraffe! can i see a picture?"

what? what's a giraffe? oh, those!! yeah, they're just myths. they're not real. purely fiction!!

yk that one post about tumblr funnyman solomon. he is a tumblr funnyman to me. he confidently posts his exploded spaghetti and gets 10k notes i think.

SIMEON

has a book club with satan and solomon. :)

probably writes oneshots of the brothers on tumblr idfk man (sorry to the simeon fans i write like nothing on this guy bro).

LUKE

bodily six ("but didnt the devs say hes ten?" shut up. /j)

along with that, also shorter than in canon. (since hes. yk. a first grader. that BOY is not five foot hes one sauce packet long dude.)

favorite store in the human world is walmart. i like to think his human world outfit is all exclusively from walmart bc thats funny i think.

DIAVOLO

hands of STEEL. he tries to grab your wrist and he nearly crushes it by accident.

ice cream!! he loves it :) his favorite is strawberry btw.

also this boy is NOT a himbo hes a smart man.

needs like a hug and some sleep and also a friend this boy works too much!!

BARBATOS

short. like really short. especially according to devildom standards since most demons are super tall.

"but isn't he six feet?" not in my heart.

somehow always making tea for some reason?? if he's not making tea then he's making pastries.

my boy does not SLEEP. hasn't slept since the sun has been birthed and doesn't plan on ever doing it.

#a letter from yours truly!💌#obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #not tagging sim i dont wanna disappoint the fans lmao

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an-obsessed-cactus · 13 days

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I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbtq community #queer #queerplatonic #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aromantism #asexuality #omnisexual

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rosesradio · 3 months

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Hello, i'm a valdangelo fan because 100% if Nico was a girl and/or if Bianca went through Nico's story in PJO (not a Huntress, his STORY), Rick Riordan would have PAIRED them together. They would have been endgame status. He would not have had Leo act weird with Hazel, either, because that familial dyniamic would have stayed intact into a "we could have been family, and ironically enough, years later we kind of are because I have a crush on your older SIBLING."

Leo and Nico together makes sense on every standpoint once you think of them like that. A couple that got the short end of the stick. They have weird history like this that barely touch one another, like regarding Leo's father and Nico losing his sister at the Junkyard. Why not use all those storylines, their individual arcs, and wrap it together? They DO work as a couple, they were not given the CHANCE because of gender, specifically. No, Nico coming out doesn't negate this. They dropped the ball by not pairing them together because three books of Leo and Nico interacting in the MAIN story as MAIN characters (Nico is secondary, but he is as important to readers) is what should have happened and would have Actually Been Brave as a book series, they were just too chicken at the time and dumped both of them off with random characters nobody was even thinking about.

anon i’m sending you flowers rn

i don’t have much else to say because you put it into words perfectly. but watch me ramble anyway lol

there’s a certain level of frustration to it—like come on Richard, you could have had a really great pairing here!! but i think one of the glaring issues would be, like you said with nico being a girl or bianca following nico’s storyline, how richard considers Leo the straightest of all, the bitchless Ladies Man(tm). He and calypso don’t make sense to most of us because they have nothing in common, meanwhile he and Nico have a lot in common while still being very different characters.

yk seeing the tv show (if you’ve been watching idk if you are), I’ve seen A Lot of changes from the source material, and many people say it’s almost as if richard is rewriting tlt for a modern audience. He wrote the lighting theif twenty years ago, and heroes of Olympus ten years ago…i can’t help but wonder, if richard did get the opportunity to rewrite HoO…what would he change?

probably not valdangelo being canon lol, and that’s okay—canon and fanon are equally fiction, neither one is more ‘valid’ than the other. but perhaps, if he showed just a bit more of Leo & nico exploring their characters & how they interact with each other…other people might see what we see.

or we can just convince them with fanfiction lol. by chance have you read Ceaseless Eve?

i’m annoying lol, thanks for the ask 🤠

#valdangelo #rose’s asks #pjo #anon let’s be besties we’re sharing a wavelength rn even though you clearly have more brain cells 🥲

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myfaveisfuckable · 4 months

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Tuvok:

Ok, first off: real world standards, he's not normal passing. Apart from the ears, he's just too autistic (sorry, "Vulcan" 🙄) to be considered "normal looking". He went to 1990s earth once and Did Not Pass as normal. But in universe, he would on the surface seem like a model Vulcan. And he is, kinda. But he's also so gd weird. (/aff)

Not even gonna get into how badly he wants to be Will Graham because obviously that's there too but we don't have all day. Anyway.

Obvs the emotions struggle is real as it is for any Vulcan worth paying attention to, if only because they were all only ever written by humans.

But also, tangential to him being Will Graham coded (but still separate enough) he is a total mind slut. You know how some characters will go "when I have a problem, I set it on fire" or shit like that? When Tuvok has a problem, he mind melds with it. Homoerotically if it's an option. Dude even got a mind std one time, despite the fact that's not even a thing.

And then whatever the fuck kinda thing he has going on with Janeway. Not even necessarily in a shippy way ("not romantic, not platonic, so devoted the lines blur") but like... not only is he unreasonably loyal to her but he does shit like not only letting her touch him whenever she wants but *deliberately offering her HIS HAND to hold* to comfort her when she needs it (reminder that hand touching is very intimate to Vulcans and can be likened to human kissing) and again, they're never even stated as romantic or anything, they're just friends and yet he is more loyal to her than he is to his own code of ethics.

Obviously part of all of it could be because Janeway (or possibly Kate Mulgrew) is simply Like That, she does do shit like tell her platonic subordinate "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in a tone that makes me lose it, but it's not all her, Tuvok is also extremely not normal about it. I should submit Janeway too actually, I'll do her next.

Also, afaik Tuvok is the only crew member of Voyager (who makes it back) who had a romantic partner before the ship got lost in the Delta quadrant and remained loyal the entire seven years they were lost. I *think* Samantha Wildman also did but she's a minor character (so she could've been getting it off screen) and she started out pregnant so once born Naomi both kept her busy and was a living reminder of her husband's love. So in that regard, Tuvok is very much not normal but like in the most positive way. He literally didn't cheat on his wife even when his life was in danger (they *were* out there for seven years so of course he hit pon farr eventually) and I think that's really cool of him. But also very not normal.

I'm very tired rn but once the polls come out, simply check out the blog of Bea @bumblingbabooshka (wanna clarify, I'm not him but he is THE Tuvok blogger in my opinion) who has written much on this already.

There's also the whole stuff that happened around his monestary era but I'm not even at that part yet but it must've been wild.

Anyway. Vote Tuvok

Janeway:

- will literally martyr herself at the drop of a hat

- will kill you if she thinks it's what she needs to do for her crew

- will not kill you if she thinks you've got residue humanity after decades as a borg drone even though realistically she really should've (tho ofc we're all glad she didn't)

- will violate your personal rights if she thinks you're not "human" enough and also compare you to a replicator (yes I'm still salty about that. wait what was the question? right, i'll get back on track)

- will say absolutely deranged shit like "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in the a tone that makes me lose my mind and basically give everyone a crush on her (and also mommy issues) if they spend too long in her vicinity, leading to a very loyal crew

- her solution to having a crush on a fictional character was to delete his wife (very relatable but also very not normal)

- she wanted to watch hot Q on Q sex (possibly for scientific reasons) and looked very disappointed when it was severely underwhelming

- WHO brings a bathtub on a spaceship???

- there's more but y'know

#poll #tournament

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xiaoslxt · 2 years

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⩥ xiaoslxt -> the fox in the wind

For @kaeyatic 's Monsterfucker May collab !

Characters: Onmyōji! Kazuha x Kitsune! Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut (the whole package)

Warnings: fem! Reader, blood, mentions of a fight + stab wound, food, dirty talk, degradation, hinted at aftercare (I got lazy), fingering, oral (fem receiving), doggy, orgasm control, unprotected sex, breeding/creampie (not sure rn jejdjf)

Let me know if I missed anything!!

Format: one-shot

Word count: 4k

Taglist: @ayatonomy @kreideprinzessin @irethepotato-reblogs

Additional info: Onmyōji = A human who has powers like those of a yōkai. + Kitsune = Mischievous shapeshifting fox spirits with multiple tails.

[My sources are mostly Wikipedia, so if there is anything inaccurate I apologize. I do not claim to actually have knowledge of the things written here, nor do I claim any of these to be true. Take everything that pertains to the "reality" with a grain of salt as I'm no expert. This is simply a work of fiction and for entertainment purposes.]

He was odd, not like the rest of you, and yet he still fit in. You always find your [color]-hued eyes following his form wherever he goes, never out of your sight.

You're always right behind him.

He has always noticed those cat-like pupils watching him; in fact, it's hard not to when they seem to bore a hole into his back.

"I certainly wonder… what exactly is it that keeps you so hot on my heels?" The samurai wonders aloud, his intention for you to hear it. "I may not know who you are, nor what you are, but I do know with certainty that you're there."

You feel embarrassed by how easily he noticed you when all the others always praised your ability to go undetected.

And yet you're still unwilling to come out of hiding; who knows? Maybe he means somebody else?

Your hopes are quickly crushed when a chuckle hits you from the left, head whipping into his direction way too fast.

"Look at you, little fox," He comments, clearly bemused by your state of shock, "who would've thought you're of such beauty? I'm hurt you've hidden from me all this time, you know?"

The embarrassment catches up to you, coating your neck and face in a sheen of heat, your ears lowered and tails rapidly moving behind you. "Tell me… How did you notice my presence?"

He turns on his heel, back facing you, and he chuckles once more. "Why, the wind told me."

You furrow your brows, ears slowly standing back tall and proud on your head to listen for anything - but there's nothing.

"Are you messing with me now?" You spit in distaste and stand up. "Just because I do not carry a weapon, it does not make me harmless."

"Oh, I would never think of you as a defenseless little thing…" He mumbles, and in a flash, he is out of your line of sight.

"What?!" You exclaim in surprise, but before you're able to turn your head, you feel the cool steel of a sword pressed lightly against your throat.

"State your business this instant, or I will bleed you out faster than you can blink."

"Aw, you're no fun." You say, bottom lip jutting out a little. "C'mon, dear samurai, surely you won't dare to hurt a cute Kitsune like me, right?"

A scoff sounds from the man standing behind you, and he moves the blade of his sword away. "You're unbelievable, y/n. Is that how you deal with enemies? If it was someone else, they would've already severed your head from your neck the second they got close enough! We're practicing serious battles here!"

"Kazuha, you're getting all worked up over nothing." You state without empathy, giving him a deadpan look. "Even if it would go down that route… How many times have I told you that I'm immortal? It's literally in the folktales everyone grows up with."

He stays quiet, flicks his katana, and puts it back into the sheath.

The air suddenly goes still, and you're hit with the sounds of the forest around you while your eyes are solely fixated on Kazuha. "Then tell me, little fox, what am I?"

Goosebumps rise on your skin and your ears lay flat once again. "I-"

"You don't know, do you? No one does, and it's scaring me, y/n."

You take cautious steps towards him, eyes softening upon seeing the confusion swirling in his crimson eyes. "I'll… try and get into the Shrine's Sacred Library, okay? Maybe I will find something that will make sense of your existence. I promise you."

He lifts his head to meet your eyes, and a small smile pulls at the corner of his lips. "I'm glad we met, little fox."

This phrase struck a deep feeling of dread within you after he turned on the spot and went into the woods. Surely, this was just a weird feeling after such a deep conversation, right?

Wrong.

But still, you left to go back home and try to make sense of his being. You've never broken a promise, not in your 200 years of lifetime, and you won't start now.

"Delighted to meet you this early morning, dear y/n. What can I help you with?" Guuji Yae greets you with her playful smile when you make your way up to the Grand Narukami Shrine.

"Good morning to you, too." You greet her with a bow before meeting her eyes. "I would like to inquire about something. Can you spare me some of your precious time?"

Her ears twitch when she senses how serious you are about the topic you are about to ask her.

"Of course, what's bothering you, dear?"

You sigh deeply and try to find the right words to say. "So… I'm certain you've heard of Kaedehara Yoshinori's grandson?"

"You mean Kazuha? What bothers you about him?" Miko turns serious now and crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"I… have had a bad feeling ever since he left yesterday. He doesn't know what he is, and it's hurting him… so I promised to help."

The pink-haired woman sighs and averts her gaze for a few seconds before meeting your eyes once more. "It's a really old tale, a few centuries old, to be precise, so you likely haven't heard of it."

"A tale? As in… Folklore?" You ask her with furrowed brows.

Lady Guuji Yae nods before continuing. "I'm sure you were looking to go into the Shrine's Sacred Library, but because you haven't got a clue, you came to ask me first, is that correct?"

"Yes, that is correct, but only partly." You agree with a nod. "I planned to come to you first regardless due to your vast knowledge."

She chuckles heartily. "You flatter me, y/n. Okay, then, I shall explain what your beloved Kazuha actually is."

Heat spreads across your face upon her comment, but you keep quiet and let her explain the tale.

"Many moons ago, there first appeared a certain person. This person bore neither name nor weapon; they arrived out of thin air one foggy night at the shore of Yashiori Island. The said person looked and behaved like any other mortal human being - but they were different. They could shapeshift, manipulate the elements, and do other things only we Yōkai can do. This person was Kaedehara Yoshinori's Great Grandfather, the first-ever Onmyōji to set foot upon this land."

"Onmyōji?" You ask after she makes a pause.

Miko nods and sighs before continuing. "Onmyōji are humans with the powers of Yokai. Each of them has a different kind of power, and it's impossible to tell because their abilities do not get inherited from their parents. Now tell me, what kind of abilities have you seen from Kazuha?"

You take a second to process all the information Lady Yae just bombarded you with. The soft morning breeze gently messes with your hair, and it almost feels like someone's airy touch gliding through your locks.

"I haven't seen any, but he keeps talking about how the wind tells him stuff…"

"Hmm… This is the first time I'm hearing about someone who's able to make use of the wind." She replies, striking a thinking pose. "But regardless, you've got your answer. Now go find him, y/n."

You nod, "Thank you so much, Lady Yae!" And bow quickly before switching to your fox form and trying to find Kazuha.

It smells like a storm is coming when you arrive back at the place you've last seen the Samurai. Though it's faint, you manage to make out his scent and rush to find him, the feeling of dread suddenly hitting you like a truck.

You find him sitting slumped against a tree, his katana dirtied with dried blood lying next to his open palm facing the sky.

"Kazuha!" You yell after quickly transforming back to your human form and rushing over to him. "Hey! Kazuha! What happened to you?!"

Your stomach drops when he coughs and specks of blood land on his clothes and yours. "KAZUHA!"

The man can barely lift his head enough to look into your eyes, those cat-like pupils were blown wide and made them appear almost black.

He cracks a smile. "Hey there…"

"Kazuha what the fuck happened to you?! Why are you here in this state?!" You frantically look around for clues, but all you can see are cuts across the forest floor, on the trees, and the metallic smell of blood. "Did you get into a fight?"

"Yeah…" He replies weakly, harsh coughing interrupting him and shaking his battered body. "But I won.. heh."

A tear drops from your eyes and you rush to check him for wounds.

You stifle the horrifying scream that threatens to escape your throat when you manage a glance at the terrific stab wound to his abdomen. His blood has stained his clothes a deep scarlet and even formed a little puddle on the ground. "I- We have to get you back to the city! If you don't see a doctor it's going to be over for you, you gigantic idiot!"

Kazuha manages to chuckle slightly, his red eyes meeting yours for the first time now. "Y/n, I don't think it's looking all too promising for me right now.."

"Shut up! I will make sure- I will make sure you make it! Even if it costs me my own life!!" You wail as your tears stream rapidly down your cheeks, "fuck. Don't do this to me now, Kazuha! I've just found out about what you so dearly wanted to know!"

His eyes widened; surely, you didn't..?

"You… You're an Onmyōji. Lady Yae told me about it. Now- don't dip on me, you asshole!" You panic when his eyes fall shut and decide to proceed quickly. With quick hands, you tie your ripped-off sleeve around his stab wound to stop the still-going blood from flowing out. You hoist the rather petite man into your arms and make a run for the city, praying that your doctor friend was still awake.

"Y/n? What- Oh my God come in!" Your friend opens the door after your relentless banging, quickly letting you in when she sees the state of the man in your arms. "Sit down, I'll patch him up."

So you nervously take a seat on one of the chairs in the living room, hands playing with the hem of your shorts to keep yourself occupied.

Half an hour later, your friend emerges from her medical room and sighs. "He barely made it. If you would have taken just five more minutes, it might have been too late for him."

"So he'll be okay?" You ask, ears flat on your head.

"Yes, I did my best and he's a fighter. He will recover soon, all thanks to you." She smiles and plops down on the chair across from you. "So… he's the one you like?"

"Kokomi! Now's not the time for this!" You wince when she throws you the look.

"Hah… fine. I'm going to bed. You can sleep on the bed next to him if you want to. Good night!"

Kazuha woke up the day after, and you've helped him get around for the next 2 weeks due to his wound. He was practically forced to live with you until he could do stuff by himself again… but neither of you minded.

"Kazuha, I'm back! I brought some Sangayaki for you, too!" You exclaim after entering your house. "Are you hungry?"

He appears by the doorway with a soft smile on his face and takes a bag out of your hand and into your kitchen.

"A little bit, yes." He replies and takes out the food you've brought.

"Let's sit down on the couch and have dinner then." You suggest and quickly go into your room to change into more comfortable clothes.

Upon entering the living room, you see Kazuha already seated and patiently waiting for you to join him.

"Enjoy your food!" You smile at him and you both start eating.

Kazuha smiles happily as he chews on his Sangayaki, and you melt a little on the inside at how pretty he is.

"Do you want a bite?" He suddenly asks upon noticing how you've been staring.

Heat covers your cheeks, but you're intrigued so you nod. However, you didn't expect him to move his piece of Sangayaki towards your direction, eyes set on feeding it to you.

You look into his eyes while taking a bite out of it, and he watches you intently as you chew.

"Woah, this is delicious! No wonder it's your favorite!"

Kazuha's eyes crinkle adorably as you comment on the food. "You're so cute, y/n, it kills me sometimes."

Suddenly the room goes quiet and you witness the man's eyes gradually grow bigger and his cheeks taking on a darker hue of red by the second.

"Kazuha," You mumble, finally having made up your mind after contemplating for 4 weeks, "I really like you."

He puts down his Sangayaki and you do the same with your food, your eyes finding his again after this short interruption.

You watch as he scoots closer to you, the way his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows his nerves, and how he licks his lips out of nervosity. "I… Really like you too, y/n."

You smile softly, ears flattening on top of your head and your tails curling around your side as his right, bandaged hand holds you gently by the neck. Your eyes flutter shut the second you feel his soft breath hit your face and welcome him in.

You've been waiting for this to happen for so long, and now that he's here, kissing you so softly it almost feels surreal.

What you didn't expect was that Kazuha isn't as soft as he looks…

A surprised gasp escapes you when he pulls you closer by your waist, and his tongue enters your mouth. You can't hold back the soft moan that you make when your tongues touch, hands grasping his shoulders for dear life as he eats your pretty noises up wholly.

His hands slide down to your waist, then your hips and your thighs, his fingers resting at the sides of your butt and digging in slightly.

Soon you pull back for air and catch a glimpse of the string of saliva that connects your lips to his with a heated face. "Kazuha…"

He chuckles and swipes his thumb across your bottom lip, ridding it of your mixed saliva before dipping his head into the crook of your neck and placing feathery kisses there. Your arms instinctively move around his shoulders, but you forgot about gravity, and suddenly you're on your back with the man you've liked for such a long time hovering above you.

Goosebumps cover your skin when he flashes you a gentle smile and dives in for another heated kiss, his tongue easily dominating yours. He's so good with his mouth, it makes you wonder… has he had sex before? Surely he did, he's a beautiful guy, there's no way someone like him would be inexperienced.

But neither are you. After all, 200 years is quite a while to be alive, so you've obviously had sexual encounters here and there.

You're brought back to reality when you feel Kazuha's mouth latching onto your neck, and placing lovebites in his wake. The feeling was so much more intense and made you all the wetter because it was the man you hold so dearly.

"Do you really want this?" He asked after he's gotten down to your cleavage with his kisses, red eyes staring straight through you.

"I do want this. Especially because it's you, Kazuha." You reply and casually free his fluffy white hair from its ponytail. A happy smile covers your lips when his strands fall forward like a curtain around his face. "You're so pretty, I can't believe you're real sometimes."

He blushes again, but covers it up by running his hands below your shirt and up your torso. "You're just as beautiful to me, but I bet you're even more stunning when I have you sitting on my cock.."

Now it's your turn to feel the heat on your cheeks; you didn't expect him to be a dirty talker! This was so out of character for him, but it made him so much more attractive, for this is a side only you will get to see. "Oh, do you? Why don't we try and see?" You tease him back, the natural thing to do for a Kitsune.

His eyes suddenly turn dark, serious even as his hands move up further to cup your tits over your bra. "Your safe word is red, do not hesitate to use it if it gets too much, baby."

If only he knew what kind of carnal things you've done… but you stick to nodding along with a hum before he quickly discards your shirt, your bra following shortly after.

Kazuha could've sworn it felt like his rock-hard dick had gotten just a tiny bit harder at the sight of your tits. He wastes no time to latch onto one of your sensitive nipples and grazing it with his teeth, making your back arch and soft mewls to slip past your lips. If only he wasn't occupying the space between your legs, you would've rubbed them together due to your aching state of arousal.

He did notice the way your legs trapped him in, though, and he uses the opportunity to grind his election against your crotch. You let out one of the lewdest sounds he's ever heard and pulls away to look at your expression before doing it again.

He loves seeing your pointy canines poke out as you bite your lip, grabbing hold on his shirt and pulling at it as a sign for him to take it off. He does it quickly and rushes to take off both your pants and undergarments, leaving you completely exposed to each other.

"Gosh, you're so wet… You're ruining your couch cushions, little fox." Kazuha snickers and starts to unwrap the bandages around his right arm and drop them to the floor. "Bet I can fit three fingers in your greedy little cunt without problem? You could probably already take my dick without issue.."

You moan when he circles the tip of his index finger softly around your clit before doing what he said, three nimble fingers invading your wet walls.

Your ears lay flat against your head as he teases you before stopping altogether. For a few seconds, your eyes are glued to the ceiling before you feel him shift, and not a second later, your pussy is being assaulted by his mouth. His tongue messily flicks across your clit, dips just slightly inside your drooling hole, and all at neck break speed.

"F-Fuck, Kazu! You're so- Ah! Good with your tongue!" You somehow manage to speak, the end getting drawled out into a high-pitched moan when he unexpectedly pushes three of his fingers in again.

He watches your reactions and decides to push your buttons, the pads of his fingers prodding at your g-spot, and smirking against your cunt when he feels you clench. "Are you close?"

But without you having to answer, he knows. He recognizes how your legs shake and the way your pussy clenched around his fingers. Kazuha chuckles, driving you so close before pulling away completely just as you cum, ruining your orgasm and pulling a surprised sob out of you.

"W- Why did you do that?" You ask and look at him with teary eyes, yet all he does is chuckle before pulling you up and crashing his lips against yours. The taste of yourself makes you scrunch your nose but nonetheless reciprocate his affection. "Let me return the favor?"

Kazuha chuckles lowly before grabbing a hold of one of your ears and pulling just enough for your head to follow but not hurt. "You're trying to be sly, but that won't work, little fox. I make the rules here." He says in a warning tone before releasing your ear and grabbing you by the waist. "I'll pound your greedy little Kitsune pussy so good, baby."

Your world spins for a second as he spins you onto your stomach and pulls your ass up. Another wave of heat crashes over you at how exposed you are right now, and your tails swish behind you.

Kazuha huffs a laugh and traces the base of your tails. This makes you moan so loud you could swear Lady Yae could hear it all the way up on Mt. Yougou.

"Aw, I see…" He coos, and you feel the tip of his cock nudge at your pussy. "Let's see how dumb I can fuck my little fox."

You can barely brace yourself before he's already pushed his surprisingly long cock into you. His fingers dig into your skin as he bottoms out, and you swear you could see stars from how deep he's hitting inside you. "So- So deep, holy shit!"

A cocky smirk adorns Kazuha's face at the state you're currently in, and this was just the beginning. He pulls out agonizingly slow, watching in fascination just how wet you are for him before slamming back in. His hips meet your ass, and you feel his balls hit your clit from the force of his thrust. "You should see how well your greedy little pussy takes my cock, baby. You feel so damn good." Kazuha says between heavy breaths, the slapping of skin getting quite loud.

You can't help it, but his words ignite a fire in your belly, and you feel your cunt tighten around his dick. "Fuck, Kazuha! I- I think I'm gonna cum soon if you keep going like this!"

"Oh really? Good, be a good girl and cream all over my dick, make a mess, and show me how much of a little cockslut you are." He chuckles and somehow speeds up even more. Your arms give out, making you land face-first on the couch, but it doesn't matter when he fucks you this well. The euphoric feeling overpowers the discomfort of your current position, and your pussy spasms around his cock, informing him of your impending orgasm.

As if all of his ministrations weren't enough, he moves a hand down to your clit and starts rubbing it the best he can from the current position. The melody of your cute moans that exit your mouth is music to his ears, and he feels his own release drawing near. "Where do you want it, little fox?"

You're on the border of losing your mind over how amazing his cock feels, eyes going crossed, but you somehow manage to reply. "Inside! Please, please cum inside!"

Kazuha rubs your clit a little faster and chuckles, quiet grunts and groans escaping him as well, due to the effort of keeping his pace. "Want me to breed you, huh? Fill your needy little hole with my cum, yeah?"

His words circle your mind and you can't help but moan so desperately, his following thrust pushing you over the edge as you cum hard. Kazuha's eyes roll back because of the way your pussy gets so tight around his dick, sucking him in and spasming as you orgasm. This also triggers his, and you push your hips back towards him when you feel his warm cum in your cunt.

You must've passed out, because the next time you open your eyes, you're laying in your bed next to Kazuha. He's lazily stroking your hair and smiles when you make eye contact. "Hey there, sleep well?" He teases, "Also, you sure look good in my clothes, I could take you right here, right now once more."

"I would love that, even though I feel sore already.." You wince a little. "But no pain, no gain, right?"

"God, you're perfect." He grins before diving in for a heated kiss, which would soon escalate into even rougher sex than what occurred just shortly before.

#xiaoslxt.written works #genshin smut #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin scenarios #genshin fluff #genshin angst #kazuha x reader #kazuha angst #kazuha fluff #kazuha smut #tw blood #tw stab wound #tw fighting

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2kmps · 20 days

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I’m curious about your writing. Do you have a background with it somehow? Or are you just naturally gifted? And don’t get me wrong, I believe you when you say you’ve worked hard to reach the level you’re at rn (at least I think you mentioned it before) but what how was it like at your starting point? What made you start writing?

Hopefully this doesn’t sound weird or offensive, I’m just genuinely interested bc I really like your writing style!

aside from basic academic stuff, I have no formal education in writing. i've never been naturally gifted; it's because i've been writing for twenty years. my earliest memories were short story assignments in primary/elementary school, that graduated to asking my parents for those plastic cartons of colorful floppy disks that I dedicated specifically to all of my little writing projects (this should really indicate how old I am 💀). they were about as good as you'd expect a 8-10y/o to write lmao

started writing fanfiction around 10-11y/o because I really liked final fantasy 7 and kingdom hearts 2 at the time. and it's just sort of been something I've stuck with ever since.

fun fact: my first fictional crushes were tuxedo mask from sailor moon, piccolo from dragonball-z, and cloud strife from ffvii.

writing has been my only consistent hobby throughout life, and as i've gotten older, I've dedicated a lot of time to improving (mainly bc I am insanely self-critical and nothing I write will ever be good enough), listening to constructive feedback, reading a lot of other works, and just trying to find a style and a tone that I liked most.

for me, I am a heavily detail-oriented and type-a person irl, so that reflects quite a bit in my writing with my prose, descriptions, world building, and character studies. I just like to feel immersed in the stories I create, the stories I read, the games I play, the things I do.

uhhhhh, however, to be completely real-real a lot of my skill comes from the fact I have a severely traumatic childhood that socially isolated me in my most formative years, SO writing was my only real outlet and connection to the world at all, essentially

I'm also pretty intensely adhd and have obsessive tendencies, hence me going absolutely fucking insane when I take on writing projects like OPAQUE and PERSIMMON & INK.

there are a lot of reasons why I write the way I do, but it all comes down to: one day I started writing and I just never stopped.

#.02

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plague-of-insomnia · 2 years

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At first i liked the post and said “hey let’s check this fanfic out, i don’t have the time to read it rn but i’ll give it a kudo and maybe bookmark it if it looks nice bcs i know how writing burns you out and being supportive doesn’t hurt” and then i see the sebastian/ciel tag 😑😑😑

Is that a sebaciel fic (the one with burning out or smth)? (Cuz WHY would anyone ship a sexually abused 13yo *kid that still has the body of a 10yo* with an adult ffs?)

Me and @luci-on-the-moon reading this ask:

Assuming you’re referring to Where Demons Hide, this may the funniest ask I’ve ever received. Thank you so much for the entertainment.

It’s taken me a few hours to stop laughing enough to compose a response.

There’s sooo much to unpack here, it’s hard to get it all organized, but I’ll try.

Sebastian’s relationship with Ciel (and Ciel’s relationship with Finny) is probably the most wholesome thing in the entire fic. 🙂🙂🙂

The fic literally includes the tags “dead dove do not eat” “sexual slavery” “torture” and “dubious consent” among other things— none of which involve Ciel, btw. 🙃🙃

The opening A/N literally warns this fic will deal with heavy topics and reminds you to read the tags 🤔🤔

Ciel is an adult in the present of the fic. (Ofc right! There’s a “aged up characters “ tag too! 🙃🙃) Though he had a crush on Seb since they met when he was 14, Seb wouldn’t see him as anything but a ward until he was an adult. So Ciel is in his twenties. Not a child. Both he and Sebastian are consenting adults. In fact, the whole point of their relationship is that it’s the first time in Sebastian’s life that he’s had someone he wants to be with, that he’s not being forced into. Ciel teaches Seb a lot about being a person and not just a tool to be used and discarded.

The opening chapter is literally about Sebastian threatening to kill his boss because he believes that he’s forcing Ciel into sex work. The whole point of his relationship with Ciel was to protect him from having to live the life he had. Protecting him from being forced to have sex. 🤔🤔

In this fic, Ciel was never sexually abused. Sebastian saved him and protected him. 🙃🙃

The only “sexually abused 13 year old… in the body of a 10 yo” in the fic is Sebastian. And he started much younger than that. As we learned in the latest chapter—by 10, Lau was ready to “dispose” of him. 🙃🙃🙃

🙄

I rarely write sebaciel, because it’s not my favorite ship. In fact, this fic is the first thing with SC in it I’ve written in years.

Nevertheless, I’m vehemently against censorship of any kind.

If you believe that “fiction affects reality directly” then you should definitely steer clear of my work as I explore dark topics in most of my writing.

Here’s the door. Don’t let it hit you on the way out. (Unless you want to send more entertaining asks for us all to laugh at you for):

#poi answers #lev bolton #anti nonsense #wdh #gif #funny

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lemonade-juley · 1 year

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It's like 3:30am but I feel like making the Rejuv oc mutuals sad. Do ya like angst? Do you like the fictional lil characters experiencing horrible trauma? Well rn I'm gonna drop some info about Anya's past life trauma and how that trauma tortures her in the present despite not even remembering

Trigger warnings for general bullying and other abuse related to bullying. Nothing like, super incredibly detailed or anything but I feel the need to put a warning here. Also if you think I should add anymore trigger tags feel free to tell me

Anyways-

Anya had very severe bullying growing up from a young age up until she ended up dying. She may have had a very loving family but the bullying was intense and she hardly had any friends. A lot of that bullying ended up effecting her big time, and carried over even when she was revived to be made into the Interceptor. That bullying tended to include several things.

-Anya was always considered "weird" and a "nerd". She liked reading and playing games and enjoyed learning and always had good grades in classes. She really liked cat Pokemon a lot, and always wore cat ears because of that and it was an interest she had her whole life even in the present. She did a lot of stimming and the like, and she's always had sensory issues, especially with touch (she always wears gloves because sensory issues in her palms were awful), and Anya was for most of her life, only semi-verbal. Kids are brutal and frequently picked on her for these things. Anya was generally seen as annoying and weird and "too quiet". Teachers and other adults didn't really do anything, and Anya unfortunately convinced herself that she'd just get into more trouble and more bullying if she told her parents. Since she was never physically assaulted (or at least assaulted enough to leave any injuries. She did get pushed down a few times), and her already present difficulties speaking and general shyness were present from the start, her parents also unfortunately never noticed her deteriorating self esteem and growing depression.

-Also, Anya was easy to make cry and frankly still is, plenty of times bullies just bullied just to get her to cry.

-Anya didn't really make many friends, and those who did also got targeted by the bullies, and would end up distancing themselves to avoid it even if they actually liked Anya. She was generally very lonely and tried to avoid doing anything that would put more attention on her, which means she avoided extra curriculars or other after school activities over those fears of getting even more bullying. As Anya got older into middle and high school, her bullies started to get into habit of doing pranks and the like to get her embarrassed. Anya was victim to several "getting fake asked out" pranks, usually pranked by people she actually had a crush on (usually found out one way or another and got spread by rumors). And Anya frequently got "friends" who only really befriended her to convince/force her to do stupid things because Anya was easily duped. Unfortunately all this led to Anya having very bad trust issues and constantly being afraid that her friends can and will just drop her like an unfavored toy or something. It's gotten marginally better with actually having good friends in the Rejuv crew, but the fear of her friends just abandoning her is always in the back of her mind. Getting a crush on Erin felt awful to her because she was afraid she'd end up being the same as her previous crushes. Thankfully and obviously this wasn't the case, but it was a constant fear.

-Anya feels the need to try and hide her stimming, or try and force herself to go without. Frequently made fun of by peers or scolded by adults for doing things like flapping her hands and the like really put her into a mindset of trying to hide anything like that. The most she does usually is maybe play with some object in her pocket or something. Again her close friendships with the main cast help her come out of that she'll, but it's rather slow.

- as for Anya's eventual death in her past life, it actually happened because of the bullying even though it technically was an accident. She fell victim to yet another getting fake asked out by a crush she had, some girl she was actually starting to trust and be close to was only doing so to get the best reaction she could out of Anya from the prank... This caused Anya to break down and just start running away while she was being laughed at. Unfortunately Anya, in a state of crying and barely looking where she was going, ended up running straight into the middle of a practice field where a Pokemon battle was going on. She got hit straight on by an Electivire's thunder punch and was flung full force into a wall. Anya died from her wounds extremely quickly, but the only thing on her mind as she faded was the betrayal of trust and a horrible feeling of relief.

#anyways those are sad Anya facts with jubey!#lemon rambles #oc: anya💙#tw bullying #pokemon rejuvenation

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spouseoftherisingsun · 1 year

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Get to Know Me

Tagged by @zumurruds Mwah mwah mwah mwah ily 🥺 tagged first I feel sooo smug rn. Our bond is unbreakable

Share your wallpaper: Orpheus and Eurydice, and a blue light photo of flowers...

Last Song You Listened To: Listened to music as I did this lmao, Nocturnal Me by Echo and the Bunnymen at the start, then She-Wolf by Shakira, then Killing Floor – Live at Monterey by Jimi Hendrix

Currently Reading: House of Leaves for fun, Breaking Resemblance: The Role of Religious Motifs in Contemporary Art for project

Last Movie: Streamed Ponyo with friends, got diagnosed as the mom who can't drive and curses out her spouse in morse code

Craving: Idk. I want for nothing

What are you wearing right now?: Cutest work clothes you can get away with as a C*tholic school kindergarten teacher

How tall are you?: 5'3"

Piercings: Been forgetting to get my ears repierced since I was 12

Tattoos: None, I wanna design my own someday tho

Glasses? Contacts?: None. I see on my own

Last Drink: Water... life giving...

Last Show: Succession, You, Diary of a Prosecutor, rewatched Key and Peele...

Last Thing You Ate: Toasted garlic naan and butter

Favorite Color: Changes, and usually comes in palettes/combinations, been into blue+green+red lately

Current Obsession: Baba Yaga and other mutable but distinctive folkloric figures like Death, Big Bad Wolf, the [folkloric] Devil, Jack/Hans/Ivan

Unrelated Obsession: Catholic iconographic viscera in secular/unordained culture. Doing (another) project on it actually

Any Pets: Between mom's and dad's places, two cats, three dogs, one turtle

Do you have a crush on anyone?: I hate having crushes so much, I only let myself be attracted to people I don't respect bc then I don't have to worry about whether rejection reflects my worth at all. And having read that you can infer that I'm obviously not mentally well enough for an actual crush atm

Favorite Fictional Character: Adoring Baba Yaga rn... all time favorites are Arya Stark, Jean Valjean, Catherine Earnshaw, Kainene Ozobia, Anakin Skywalker... maybe more

The Last Place You Traveled: Scotland/Northern Ireland/Ireland ♡

Tagging: Uhhhh @seaweetie @tybaltsjuliet @virginvengeance @evakant @g-taire no pressure obvs

#about me #tag game #♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ love talking about myself thank you beloved

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transpanda-1 · 2 years

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Happy Birthday Tsumugi Shirogane here’s an essay on how she made a trans woman realize she was plural

Hi. We’re plural and diagnosed with OSDD 1B.

We probably would have figured it out eventually either way, but Tsumugi Shirogane is the one that jumpstarted our understanding of our identity.

Why is this?

It’s complicated. (Spoilers, obviously)

Ever since we saw through DRV3, we had attached heavily to Tsumugi. Nearly for a full year, something about the girl kept her bonking around in our head.

Until the fateful day where we were walking down the street, stopped, paused, and went “Do I act... like Tsumugi?”

This was in reference to us switching alters, which we struggled to comprehend at the time. But this realization led us down to therapy/looking inwards/identity figuring out, etc.

And it’s all because of one single blue haired girl with pronouns.

Tsumugi is a mishmash of numerous traits that all felt relatable to us specifically at the time, and maybe people can come to understand how these qualities all came together for us:

1st. Her cosplay ability.

Tsumugi’s cosplaying prowess, being able to perfectly mimic any character from DR’s past (via reuse of past sprites in game) is clearly the evolution from Junko’s rapid “personality switching” from the first game.

Junko Enoshima’s personality switching is, well, really another instance of DR’s dramatized and demonized approach to writing systems. But what’s interesting is that while Junko’s is technically more realistic, Tsumugi somehow feels closer to how it “feels” to have different alters in the body.

Junko only had enough budget to have one sprite per “personality type”, meaning what she swapped to was often fairly one note.

Tsumugi, on the other hand, had every sprite from every character from the past games. This makes whatever she swaps to have a more dynamic presence, like it could be a living, breathing person on some level.

Also, most times, alters imagine themselves as visually different from how the host body is. So each character being visually distinct kind of... feels cathartic, almost? (Especially when you consider fictives, alters that form through imagery/personality/story of a fictional character!)

2nd. Her plainness emphasis.

So, something about DID/OSDD is many systems have a sort of “day to day” alter. Some people call them a core alter but we’re unsure about that rn.

To us, our simple alter is Jackeline, a go-with-the-flow girl who doesn’t feel too strongly emotionally about things. In other words... a little plain.

Tsumugi hiding her identity as the mastermind, mixing with her emphasis on “plainness” felt relatable to our situation.

At the time we were still struggling to be fully out on our trans gay identity. This generic front facing image of us hiding so much underneath while we were surrounded by people felt like a similar situation.

It’s a mask, but a mask that can’t be removed. Cause maybe it wasn’t fully a mask at all.

3. She’s the soulless villain.

Weird thing to say, huh? Normally you wouldn’t want an antagonist as plural rep.

But at the time... we felt like we were lying to everyone. We would ‘put on these characters’ but supposedly not really feel emotions, because we would always revert back to a less emotional self.

Heck, we didn’t even think we had real emotions!

And Tsumugi is a character utterly defined by a soul crushing emptiness. She apparently hardly feels anything in the moment to moment, and uses frequent escapism through fiction to feel anything. All this at the expense of others around her.

It’s odd to say, but Tsumugi being such a bad person made it weirdly easier to connect to for someone like us. We had no understanding of our mind at the time, so we just assumed our emotional shifting was somehow purposeful, manipulative in nature.

We obviously wouldn’t want everyone to go through this, but her role weirdly spoke to us. (Maybe it’s because of how often DID/OSDD is portrayed)

4. The game unnecessarily demonizes her.

Tsumugi’s a bad person. There’s no denying that.

But... she isn’t the actual antagonist of drv3, and the game doesn’t seem to realize this?

The end of drv3 reveals this whole fucked up murder game was a live action reality show. With god knows how many people watching.

Now if you’re someone like us, you’ll be aware that the reality tv show situation is heavily controlled by higherups, capitalistic interests, edited and manipulated in post, etc. etc. etc.

This type of genre is inherently designed to keep people watching.

And then the game blames... the audience. Whom Tsumugi is representing as a figurehead, essentially. As in the fans are the reason why this is evil.

This is... somewhat baffling. The game acknowledges that a company is behind designing, funding, broadcasting, hosting, hiring, etc. these things, and making it so that the actors actually die? Yet they’re just glossed over? They... MAKE the content here?

Tsumugi feels like a cog in a greater, blood churning machine. And she’s the standin villain here?

It feels like the game is pushing Tsumugi into the way of the bullet labeled “Maybe the people making this is the reason this sucks” by pretending that the fans somehow are the ones creating the content? (When drv3 actively does false advertise to pretend it has a female protag this is kinda laughable)

THE POINT IS she’s the villain, but she’s so clearly handled incorrectly, or possibly even just a manipulated fangirl getting scapegoated, that it’s easy to start seeing her in a slightly, if not “fuck canon”, sympathetic light.

And... many systems in media also fall under this category. Demonized for uncontrollable aspects before real thought is put in.

If she was hands down no redeeming qualities whatsoever obviously in the wrong in every way it would be harder to relate to her.

But the demonization somehow adds to her interest as a person.

And what kind of people tend to get unnecessarily demonized.

5. Tsumugi’s not straight. Like really not straight. And possibly not cis too.

Man we don’t even know what’s going on with Tsumugi and Kaede in the first chapter. Like what was up with that.

Kaede’s checking Tsumugi out every 10 seconds and Tsumugi’s literally from “Lily Academy”. What is going on in that first chapter??? Did she WANT that? Kaede outright called her hot numerous times and she never objected!

She told Kaede this whole situation is the kind people would fall in love under, and her voiceclip that plays is “Do you wanna try!” That’s so. Much.

And they NEVER elaborate on this? Despite how much Tsumugi plays a role in Kaede’s story it’s like, poof! never happened! What are you talking about audience?

The game seems to afraid to own up to the identity they coded her with?

Not only that but, her voice mannerisms in the english dub make it sound like she’s putting on a high pitched, airy falsetto.

It’s meant to convey she’s putting on a persona, but you know what that sounds like to a trans person? Someone with a lack of proper voice training!

With her cosplaying Tsumugi seems also perfectly comfortable portraying herself as multiple men! However we interpret this she’s gender nonconforming in SOME way?

Speaking of.

6. She shares her VA with Chihiro.

So. Awkward moment. Chihiro Fujisaki is the character that made us realize we’re a trans woman.

We didn’t realize it at the time but that... kind of flipped another switch in us.

Our first real identifiable alter is Cherish, a very effeminate, polite, meek alter. She... used to go by Chihiro. It was natural for Cherish to be sweet and soft spoken, that’s what she felt like. She feels she was wrong for using the name at all now, but that is what happened.

For a time being it felt like it was just Jackeline, our more plain alter, and Cherish, our sweetheart alter.

So kind of like plain Tsumugi... and the other character voiced by Tsumugi’s VA.

And... the thing that cracked our egg... was being pointed out that at one point we wanted to cosplay Chihiro.

So Tsumugi having the exact same VA as Chihiro made us really fascinated with her. Her cosplaing Chihiro so much more. And even moreso headcanon material for any trans headcanon for her.

Tsumugi seeming to have this instinctual desire to want to change into different fictional characters was an experience we had shared. And honestly for a system who has quite a number of fictives... it’s pretty relatable, oddly enough.

7. She’s a huge geek.

Perhaps this is our bias speaking, but experience from trans women and plural communities shows that a lot of them... are kind of huge nerds.

That’s not a bad thing, of course. But tending to care more for animation, being geeky, hyperfixating on things, etc. etc. are kind of qualities that tend to resonate with these groups.

Tsumugi desiring escapism is... yeah, it’s relatable. And for someone in a group that often faces struggles irl, even moreso.

Combining with her connection to multiple aspects of queer identity, she kind of fits in a lot. We can’t say she’s doing any of this healthily, but we at least understood it.

This is actually the most important one.

Tsumugi is canonically defined by her lack of memory loss. She’s the only character where this is explicit.

Followers of us would probably assume that Uendo Toneido was our breaking point on plurality, based on the near 80,000 words we’ve written for them.

They got very, very close, but not close enough. And it’s specifically because of their memory loss.

We almost realized we were like Uendo, but we hesitated. “No, that would be insulting to people with actual DID”.

We didn’t know what OSDD was at the time. No media really talks or discusses this condition genuinely.

Tsumugi was the moment it was impossible to deny anymore.

Her being fully aware and coherent as she swaps between characters and even her own personal personas was the breaking point for us.

In a bizarre sense, she’s like the person who opens the pickle jar after getting loosened up by another beforehand.

But… she’s still the one that broke the dam.

Final word:

Tsumugi Shirogane is... odd. She’s an odd character that possibly singlehandedly exploded the budget of DRV3 by making them rehire all the past VA’s.

She’s a character that’s ultimately an enigma, and probably will never be fully explained. Honestly because we don’t think the creators fully got her either.

But this demented, supposedly evil girl made one trans woman understand her plural identity.

In one way she made one person’s life, or lives, a lot better in the long run.

Sometimes we still look at Tsumugi and see a lot of ourselves. In some way, it can kind of show the power of fictional characters. There will always be one person on Earth that relates to a character more than anyone else.

Thank you for existing Tsumugi, despite everything.

#tsumugi shirogane #did/osdd #drv3 #plurality #there's probably more we missed #like how we got a Kaede fictive and how much emphasis was put on Tsumugi pretending to try to be her #And how her cospox kind of is like how it's hard for alters to imitate one another because the brain gets confused #ALSO our fiction obsession and how that overlaps with fictives #how fiction is so powerful that it can almost create people into reality #like anyone who gets a fictive of Tsumugi is doing exactly what she wants to happen #and that's so weird to think about #...And yes we did get a Smoothie fictive eventually. But it took awhile after #the girl is so. messed up. Studies her under a microscope and becomes plural as a result.

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