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lilghostiequinni · 11 hours

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Remember When

Main Masterlist Lando Masterlist

Pairing: Piastri!female oc (Eliza;Lizi;Liz) x Lando Norris

Warnings: Fluffy, little Angst, Pregnancy talk, Indications of smut

Summary: She's older than her brother. She doesn't drive for the sport, but she does follow the sport, and has been even before her brother's appearance with McLaren, who she's been supporting before her brother joined. She has friends on the grid, but one thing she does that isn't conventional or has anything to do with her everyday life is... collecting scale-model racing helmets from her favorite teams and drivers. She also designs helmets and redesigns already-worn helmets. Even though this has nothing to do with her job and lifestyle. But what happens when she predicts a maiden win in Maimi after her brother invites her to the 2024 Maimi Grand Prix?

Requested: NO / yes

"Liz, I know you are hours away, but can you come to Maimi?" Oscar asks his older sister over the phone after he lands in Maimi for the 2024 Maimi Grand Prix.

"I wouldn't be able to get there until late Friday, early Saturday. Maybe even midday on Saturday," Eliza told her brother as she walked around her classroom on the other side of the phone.

Oscar wanted his sister to come because the first time he got a pole position, she called, and the first time Max won a Grand Prix and the first world championship, she called before the second race even happened.

He's hoping her coming will bring luck to McLaren.

Also, he knows that his sister is a fan of Lando's and has never met him, even though she's been to several Grand Prix since 2019, Lando's rookie year.

Though most of the time she was either there with Red Bull or on her own in the stands, which has been the case for the two races she had attended so far, Saudi Arabia and Australia.

"Please, I'll see if Max will let you use his plane. Please, Lizi, I want you here," Oscar begged as he ran his fingers through his hair; he had talked to Zak, and everything was ready; her birthday was on Quali day, Saturday, and he had worked months on what he wanted to get her and a surprise, which involved her hobby of designing and collecting helmets and her first meeting with Lando Norris.

Granted, the driver had no idea that he was a part of the surprise, yet anyway, at least.

Oscar just needed his sister to agree to come to Maimi from New York to get her to travel almost the 1,300 miles between the two distances.

"Please, I want you here. That way, I can give you your present from everyone on time and not on Monday when I would've come," Oscar pulled the 'It's your birthday card.' He knew it was one way to get his sister to fold, but he played it with the 'I want you here' card in his, 'but I'm your little brother voice.' All of these are strategies that he has learned will make his sister fold and agree.

So, maybe his hope to not use a little persuasion didn't go as planned, but he had seen no other way.

"You'll get full VIP Paddock passes," Oscar finishes off; yeah, there was no way his sister would say no.

"Fine, I'll talk to my boss. I was going to come to Italy and Monaco, you know that, right?" Liz says to her brother as she finally caves.

"Yeah, but do they fall on your birthday or even close to your birthday?" Oscar questions his sister.

"No," there's a moment of pause on the line. "Hey, Osc, I have to go. duty calls. I'll see you Saturday."

"See you then," then the phone is hung up.

Oscar does a little dance and pumps his fists as he turns to the door and sees an amused Lando.

"What are you doing?"

"Celebrating."

"Why?" Lando looks at his teammate in confusion.

"My older sister is coming, and the last time she was actually in the Paddock was last year," Oscar says.

Oscar did ask Max to get his sister from the entrance and give her her pass to get in as he was called over by Zak just ten minutes before she was set to arrive at the race.

Max was happy to do it because the older Piastri was one of his best friends, probably his best friend outside the grid entirely.

Max stood near the entrance as he texted the woman, who quickly told him she was waiting at the entrance when he looked over and saw her.

He walked over to her and swiped the pass, allowing her through before giving her the pass, "So, I know we usually say no presents for the other's birthday, but you got me one last year, so I'm giving you won this year."

Liz looked at the Dutchman and shook her head as she followed him to Red Bull after quickly texting her brother, letting him know that she was there, and making a quick stop in Red Bull to get the present from Max.

"Here," Max handed her a box, which she took and set on the table. "Happy Birthday."

Eliza looked at the taller man with a bored look as she went to pull the top of the box off, and Sergio came over.

"Hello," Checo said as Liz waved and continued to open the box.

Eliza looked in and saw it was the scale model of a helmet she had designed and had only given the sketch of the helmet to Max, she looked to her friend with wide eyes, and he motioned for her to keep going.

She did, finding not one but three more scale model helmets she designed and gave Max, and also two of his scale model helmets she didn't have.

She again looked to Max and threw her arms around him with tears in her eyes.

Sergio smiled at the scene, "When you're done, I also have something for you."

Liz let go of Max and looked to Sergio, a little skeptical, "You didn't have to get me anything. I hardly let Max get me anything."

It wasn't that she didn't like the Mexican, Sergio was one of her favorites, just that she rarely liked getting presents, usually only from her close family, as they wouldn't let her say no.

She doesn't like presents because they're surprises, and in the last 10 years of her life, she has developed a dislike for surprises after the Year 9 incident, which resulted in her move to America.

"I know, but I heard you talking to Max about books you wanted a few weeks ago in Australia, then I heard Max say it was your birthday today, so I got you some," Sergio, ever the sweetest at least when not competing.

Eliza smiled at the man as he as well turned and grabbed a box, he put it next to the one Max gave, and she opened it to see the books she had only been raving about for the last three months, at least.

She hugged Sergio and told him thank you before Max once again drew her attention back to him.

"I may have also gotten you another present, but I gave it to your brother to give to you because he asked to see it, and then before he gave it back, I was told to come get you from the gates," Max says as Sergio is beckoned away.

Liz nodded at the statement that was made and saw someone trying to get Max's attention from behind him, "You are wanted. I'll see you later, and I'll talk to Osc about that other present you wanted to give me."

It's Max's turn to look behind him then nod, giving his best friend one final hug before turning and going to the man that was beckoning him over as Eliza walked out of Red Bull with her two boxes.

She made her way through the paddocks and to McLaren, where she saw her brother waiting for her just outside of the paddock.

Oscar grabbed the boxes from his sister as he led her through the paddock to his driver's room to set her boxes down, then led her to another room in the back of the paddock where she saw Zak Brown and Lando Norris.

Liz looked at her brother, highly confused as to why she was there because, to her, what was being discussed might be important, and she didn't want to interrupt.

"It's okay, Zak was helping me and..." Oscar was interrupted by the McLaren principal, "I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday."

"Thank you, then," Liz says with a small smile to the man.

"Lando is here because I needed a few things from him for your present and because I noticed that you have never met him, despite having been to many races since his rookie year and never met him," Oscar says, walking over to the table in the room.

Liz waves at Lando and follows her brother.

"This is from Mom and Dad, just Mom, just Dad, our sisters, Grandma, and me," Oscar says, pointing to each of the boxes as he says so.

Liz nods, "Okay, Max said he had another present, but you stole it before I got here and didn't get it back before you sent him to get me."

"Yes, that's true, but I wanted to show it to Zak and Lando." Oscar goes over to the other side of the table and grabs the smaller box that he hadn't pointed to, well, one of them.

Oscar hands it to his sister, and she opens it, finding another scale model helmet, one she designed for the current race, the Maimi Grand Prix 2024.

"But I only gave the design to him a few days ago," Liz looked at her brother, puzzled.

"Yeah, but I had access to your tablet weeks ago when you told me it was finished," Oscar points out.

Oscar took the box from her and shoved another into her hands. He did this until she got to the present from him.

Opened it to find books she wanted, this pair of sneakers she had told her brother about ONCE but wanted for several weeks, and, of course, scale model helmets she had been missing from his helmets and just one from Lando's, but also a few she designed for her brother.

Lando had stood to the side, and did nothing until Oscar pointed to the box next to him, which Lando picked up and gave to Liz as Oscar took his gift from in front of her.

Liz smiled in thanks to Lando as she took it from him.

"I told Lando you collected helmets and that he was one of the few drivers you collected all of them from. I told him which ones you didn't and..." Oscar said as his sister opened the box to see the few she was missing.

"Thank you," Liz said, looking to Brit, who nodded at her thanks. "My students just love looking at them, and I love using them as scale models."

Zak then stepped forward and pushed the last two boxes across the table, "This is from McLaren with the help of your brother."

She opened the boxes to find they were also helmets she had designed for the Maimi Grand Prix, just for Lando and Oscar.

"Your brother had seen them, finished when he saw Max's, and said he wanted the scale models made and the normal helmets, not for a race, just to have," Zak told her.

There was a knock on the door, and both Zak and Lando were beckoned out. Oscar was told he would be soon, too, but he told them to give him a couple minutes, and he would be out.

"I also got a few of the Lando helmets you design made, but I may have shipped them to your apartment," Oscar told her as he pulled Liz into a hug.

"Thank you," She whispered into his ear as he held her close.

"You're welcome."

The two pulled away before Oscar started to talk again, "So, who's going to win, you think?"

Liz laughs and rolls her eyes, knowing it was coming since he called her, "Not you and not Max. Max is going to get second."

Liz hands over a piece of paper to her brother with her predictions. Oscar looks at it and shakes his head, "Of course, you think it's going to be his maiden win."

Liz chuckles again at her brother as the two make their way out of the room.

Liz watched as her brother fell through the rows of cars after the safety car was pulled out onto the track. She also watched as Lando Norris took the lead over Max Verstappen and was gaining a substantial gap between the two.

She watched as Lando won his first Grand Prix and took place in the 1st place spot, with Max in 2nd and Charles in 3rd.

She watched as he ran to his team and jumped into the crowd of orange papaya with the biggest smile on his face.

She watched as he got blasted in the face with champagne from the other two drivers and his engineer.

She watched as her predictions about the race came true.

She watched as Max came over to her and asked her to join the partying tonight.

She watched as Lando got plastered as she herself got drunk to.

She watched the flashbacks of the night before coming back as she woke to the pressure of an arm across her middle.

She looked in the direction it came, and she saw Lando Norris next to her in the same state of dress, nothing but the blanket on the bed.

Not knowing how to respond to whatever happened that she only knows bits and pieces too, she carefully got up from the bed, careful not to wake the new race winner.

Only to try and stand and fall to the ground, effectively startling the Brit awake.

"Are you okay?" Lando asks as he looks over the side of the bed to her.

".... No. I need help. Please," There were a few moments of silence before her response.

"Were you trying to leave?" Lando asks as he gets up and then goes to pick her up.

"No, I was trying to go to the bathroom, then leave," Liz tells him as she's picked up, and Lando brings her to the bathroom.

Lando sets her down and then leaves the bathroom to give her privacy. No, he doesn't go far, but he does leave the room.

After she was done and mostly regained her balance, Liz left the bathroom and went searching for her clothes, which were still scattered, as Lando walked back into the bedroom area of his suite.

"Here, you can use this, as your dress is here and partially ripped. Sorry," The sorry was clearly an afterthought as Lando handed her both a shirt and her dress from the night before.

Liz nodded in thanks, "I should go before my brother starts looking for me, and I have to be on a flight in... 4 hours."

Lando just nodded at what she said, "Can I get your number from what I can remember of last night, you're pretty cool."

Liz blushes as she nods and grabs her phone from the bedside table, giving it to the McLaren driver, who texted himself to get her number on his phone.

It had been months since Maimi, and she had talked to Lando plenty of times over those months, often meeting when he flew over to New York in secret.

But now school was out, and there was no need for her to stay in New York all the time. She stayed with her parents for a few weeks before going to Monaco during one of the breaks between races, staying with Lando.

Lando was currently out of his apartment, having left earlier to do some errands or something, but Liz was still in the apartment, having woken up after Lando left.

She was currently on the phone with one of her friends in America, and she was telling her how she hadn't been feeling the greatest and everything hurt.

"You sound pregnant," was the blunt reply from her friend.

"No, that's not possible. I haven't slept with anyone in months," Liz denies.

"You're telling me that you are staying with a Formula One driver, one you have previously slept with, and you are not sleeping with him now," Her friend, Clara, deadpans on the other end.

"Well, he's kind of my boyfriend, and we agreed that we should take things at a relatively normal pace, so no, I am not," Liz responds.

"Well, how long ago was Maimi?"

"Five, almost six months ago."

"Well, I can't tell you what to do, but you should at least check," Her friend says before continuing, " How long ago was your last period?"

Liz looks down before answering, "Right before Maimi. I thought it was stress, you know with the end of the year for both the college and high school I teach at, then the moving around the globe a lot in the last few weeks."

"It's okay, I can stay on the line as you get through this, I helped you pack. Remember, what do I always do?"

"The usually unnecessary pregnancy test."

"Yes, now go grab it, take it, and keep talking to me."

Liz did just that. She waited for what felt like forever, an eternity that wasn't going to stop. Just kept going and going. Time slowed for her as she waited for this little stick to determine the rest of her life.

When the timer finally rang, she turned both tests over and showed the camera, which had Clara's face, as they turned to FaceTime when the timer started.

"Babes...."

Liz heard the tone of voice and started to cry as she turned them over to see they were both positive.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this; I don't know if this is what he wants. Clara, I don't know what to do," Liz says as she fully starts to cry.

"You should call your mom, but I will always be here for you. I'll move in with you if I have to; I'll move all the way over to Monaco. I don't care. I will be there for you," Clara states as she looks on at her crying best friend nothing she can do with actions as she watches from the screen of her phone across an ocean in America.

Liz nods and quickly says goodbye before calling her mom, who answers relatively fast for the time difference.

Liz is just bawling when her mom answers the phone, making her mother worry for her eldest child.

"Mommy, I don't know what to do."

Then Liz explains and comes clean about everything that's happened since Maimi and her mom just listened.

"Tell him, honey, tell him, then go from there. That's the only thing that can solve this," Her mom says.

She's on the phone with her mom until Liz hears the door of the apartment.

They say goodbye, and Liz stands and wipes the tears that were barely remaining on her face, having stopped crying midway through her rant.

She wipes her tears and grabs the two sticks, going to Lando, who is smiling as she walks out of the bathroom to him in the living room.

Lando turns at the noise of the door opening and smiles even wider before it falls as he sees the remnants of tears on her face.

"What's wrong?" Lando walks over to his girlfriend as she's once again reduced to tears.

Lando brings her into a hug as she buries her face in Lando's shirt.

"Hey, you have to tell me what's wrong I can't make it better until you tell me what's wrong," Lando says as he kisses her forehead before he pulls her away to look at her face.

She calms a little and asks, "Remember Maimi and what happened after your win?"

Lando nods, rather confused as to why she's bringing up that night, almost six months later.

Liz pulls the tests from her back pocket and hands them to Lando, who looks at them and takes a moment to realize what they mean.

"I am nowhere near ready for children..."

Liz tries to hold back tears as Lando says that, and she starts nodding, thinking he's going to reject her.

"... But if this is what you want, if you want the baby, I will be there, be here, right by your side, every step of the way. I'm not going to leave."

Liz almost doesn't hear what he says but takes a moment and almost breaks down again.

"I'm not ready either, but I want them. I can't get rid of them, not when they didn't do anything wrong," Liz says. Lando nods and brings her back into his arms, holding her tighter than before and whispering sweet nothings into Liz's ear and occasionally kissing her temple.

A/N: A few hours later than I wanted, but it's also longer than I expected. I could do a part 2 if you guys wanted. I actually really liked the way this one went.

Tags: @poppyflower-22 @samantha-chicago @hellothere9597

If you want to be removed from a tag list, let me know, so I don't keep tagging you. If you are striker through, I don't know if you want to be tagged, but just let me know if you want me to continue or stop

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daechwitatamic · 3 days

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Vice;Grip || chapter 2 || chs

(banner by @itaeewon)

Vice;Grip (masterpost) NSFW - minors DNI Genre: angst smut fluff, fuckbuddies!au Summary: Make it not hurt, you could have asked him. Or, at least, make it hurt in a way I choose. A/N: infinite thank you's to @sailoryooons and @eoieopda for beta-ing!! //

Warnings: Frequent depictions of depression, depressive episodes, panic attacks, and substance abuse (alcohol, weed, and pills referenced). PLEASE know that these characters’ relationships with drugs and alcohol are not healthy and should not be emulated. If these topics are triggering to you, please consider sitting this one out.

Section Specific Warnings: depiction of a depressive episode, recreational drinking and bar scenes, allusion to oral (f. receiving), kissing, rough sex/man-handling, explicit penetrative sex, dirty talk, aftercare, didn't venture fully into writing dom!vernon but i have been informed i wrote something that might be in the realm of a dom drop, language obviously, reader is called a gendered slur by a stranger, law-breaking :), actual fluff for a second, allusions to drug use, car sex

wc: 6900

Playlist: you can call me in the middle of the night / you can leave before i wake up in the morning / and it could feel so wrong / but i'll still hold on

1 yr, 5 months ago

The onset of spring brought a lack of color. Grey clouds hung full and heavy, low over the city skyline. Grey crept into the corners of your apartment, darkening rooms during daytime so that you needed to keep lamps on even in midafternoon. Grey crept over your body, into your limbs. Days stretched and nights inched; you only got out of bed because you had to feed the damn cat.

That's part of why you'd gotten the cat in the first place, after a particularly long episode a few years ago, when Chan had presented you with a list of things he thought you should do to combat the blues, as he'd put it.

He meant well. But he always came at your depression like a problem solver, like just doing the right things could make it go away.

And sure, his suggestions were things that would help - get outside, call someone, don't isolate, shower even if you aren't leaving the house, drink some damn water - they weren't a cure. They were better reminders for when you were okay - good at keeping you okay for longer stretches. But when it was already too late, when the grey came, they all sounded fucking pointless.

Anyway. The cat had been a good idea.

is it bad??

Chan did his best. He was a good best friend. He just didn't understand it.

The answer to his question, you thought, as you flipped your phone over so you wouldn't see the notification if he followed up, was yes. Yes, this time was particularly bad. But you didn't have the energy to type those three words.

Terrible friend, your brain accused, and it was right.

You managed to drag yourself to work, to at least show up so you could continue to pay for your apartment and your damn cat, but not much else. You existed on cans of diet coke and microwave meals. You doom-scrolled until sunrise, then slept an hour or two at most before getting dressed for work. You left texts unanswered, the mail piled up. So did the dishes.

Chan came by, once, did your dishes for you. It made you feel worse - useless and pitiable. You'd rather he just go away, but you held it in; you knew that would only hurt his feelings.

You learned from your mistakes, one thing that could be said in your favor.

“Have you called your doctor?” he wanted to know.

What was the point? There wasn't a stop hating your life pill.

“What if you tried painting?” he asked.

“What if you just let me be?” you countered, finally tripping over the line from embarrassed apathy to defensiveness.

That pout again. “It might help,” he said. “Don't most famous artists do their best shit when they're down?”

“Get out,” you deadpanned. He dropped it, knowing this was a bigger issue, a bigger argument, than this current episode, a complex situation that went beyond the boundaries of your brain chemistry.

He put the last of your now-clean plates away. “Let's go somewhere,” he suggested.

“Chan,” you groaned. “I’m tired. I can't go gallivanting -”

“You're not tired, you're depressed,” he argued. “And going outside will help you.”

“I might have to kill you,” you said seriously, and he rolled his eyes.

In the end, he let you win. He'd been around long enough to know that eventually you'd venture outside again, hit the bars with him again, text first again, laugh at his stupid memes again. It was just a waiting game.

Still, when he left, you sat on the edge of your couch with your chin in your hands. On the living room rug, the cat rolled and showed you its belly.

“Not you, too,” you groused.

The cat did a few alligator rolls and then scampered into your bedroom and under the bed, as if chased.

You sighed. You made your way to the spare room, which had been shut - to keep the cat out. To keep your ghosts in.

Your easel was still set up in the corner. You were kind of surprised it wasn't covered in cobwebs. You'd been sketching just on paper last time you'd worked, trying to make decisions that way so you wouldn't waste a canvas, and it still sat there.

You inched closer, ran your hands over your brushes. Took a step back, eyed the paper and your sketches.

It was bad. Thank god you hadn't put it to canvas.

You pulled the paper down, crumpled it in your hands. You chased the cat out with a gentle nudge of your foot, and closed the door again, keeping both cats and ghosts on their respective sides of the door.

There was no rhyme or reason to your brain, no map or calendar to follow for the starts or stops. But eventually, the clouds broke. The grey gave way to baby buds of green, yellows pushed through soil, determined to meet the sun.

You texted Chan - drinks??

He responded - about time!!!

You texted Vernon - hello, its me

When he didn't answer, you tried again - sorry for the radio silence.

Still nothing.

You checked his socials, saw that he'd been doing his thing - a smattering of selfies, some group shots with the guys he played music with sometimes, a few nature shots: the moon, once, and what looked like the river at night.

The silence stretched. You gave up, considered it over. Grieved a little, because it had been good.

You went out on a night that teased summer even though it was months away, sank into the familiar blur of too many shots - not enough to be a problem, but maybe enough to make problems.

Under the club's ever-moving lights, you took a selfie, your drink and cleavage both showcased in the shot.

Send it to Vernon, the urge to make trouble suggested, and you listened without hesitation.

And - finally - an answer.

come here after??

You smiled a tiny, victorious smile and knocked back the rest of your drink.

omw.

Later, he gave you a rare and devastating pout as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, smoothed fingers down the still-shaking inside of your thigh.

“What'd you make me wait so long for?” he complained, those sharp eyes sparkling with mirth. When you shrugged, still a little mindless from your high, he gave the same spot on your thigh a playful slap. “Don't do it again.”

1 yr, 4 months ago

busy tonight?

not busy but.

???

not in the best mood.

bet i could fix that.

yeah. idk.

why don't you let me try?

“What's wrong?” you cooed, teasing, when Vernon let you into the apartment.

He didn't smile, didn't play along, and it sobered you quickly.

“Don't want to talk about it,” he muttered, crowding into your space. “Wasn't that big of a deal anyway.”

Just want the fix you promised, he thought.

You moaned like liquid gold when his first kiss was a bite. Encouraged, Vernon gripped you by the shoulders, pushing you back against the wall hard enough that he heard your breath escape in a single huff. He hesitated, eyes searching your face; a question.

You lifted your chin, eyes shining with something hard. When he kissed you again, you threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled, hard enough to make him hiss; an answer.

His pace was frenzied from the start, your legs around his waist and the wall holding you up. His hand curled around your throat, not squeezing, but sliding up to grip at your jaw instead, keeping you from tilting your head back, closing your eyes, losing yourself in how he felt slamming his hips flush against yours with dizzying smacks.

When you whined that you were close, he pulled you away from the wall and lowered you both to the ground, the wooden floor of his entryway cold and hard beneath your spine. It didn’t matter, didn’t do anything to stop the vortex tightening below your stomach. You slapped a hand over your face as it distorted in pleasure, Vernon kneeling between the legs you still had gripping his waist, one of his hands braced on the floor next to your head, holding his body over you.

“That’s right,” he breathed, gritted teeth flashing over you, forehead wrinkling as his own release closed in on the chase. “Just fucking take it when I fuck you into the floor.”

Then he was pulling out, breaths hissing through his teeth as he straightened up, one hand pumping himself furiously until strings of white decorated your stomach, cooling immediately in the apartment’s chilly air.

His breathing was ragged as he sagged back onto his heels, and you pushed yourself up onto your elbows, watching him warily.

Then he stood and slipped into the hallway bathroom, the light clicking on and illuminating the unlit entryway where you’d just fucked. You heard the sink run, then shut back off, and Vernon returned. He knelt gingerly - you could see his knees were red from kneeling on the wooden floor - and cleaned your stomach first, then gently between your legs.

You sat the rest of the way up then, watching him carefully as he sat back on his heels again, avoiding your gaze. Something about the moment felt like a thing alive, unfurling between you like a casablanca lily under the refracted light of the moon.

You spoke at the same time.

“Vernon?”

“You okay?”

You swallowed, rubbed absently at your elbow where you’d smacked it on the floor during the position change.

“I’m fine,” you said tentatively. “Are you?”

He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, and then peering through his fingers at you for a second before dropping them again. “Thought I hurt you.”

You shook your head. “I’m okay. I would have said something.”

He nodded, relief starting to bring feeling back to his hands again. He stood and reached a hand down for you. When you took it, he closed his fingers around yours and pulled you to your feet.

“I know we don’t usually do this,” you said, rubbing at the parts of you that had been on the floor - the backs of your legs, your ass, “but could I take a super fast shower before I go?”

“Yeah,” he said, so quickly that the word almost trips on itself. “Of course.”

He led you into the bathroom, rummaged in the disorganized linen closet for a clean towel, pressed it into your hands.

“If you need one, too,” you said easily, as he reached around you to turn the water on so it could heat up, “I don’t mind if you join me.”

He paused. “You sure?”

You shrugged, then leaned over to put your hand under the spray, testing to see if it was still cold. “It’s your shower.”

Under the stream of warm water, you turned to face him, front to front, looking up at him with clear eyes. Something in your expression was so open, Vernon couldn’t help but feel both the desire to step into the space you seemed to be offering him as well as the desire to get far, far away from it.

He’d been so angry before you’d texted, furious enough that he’d bruised his knuckles punching the doorframe; now, as the chemicals in his body settled down, he felt those knuckles throbbing. He was disgusted that he’d lost his temper, guilty that he’d taken any of that anger out on you, who had nothing to do with it.

He was scared of the desire he felt to be closer to you, just for tonight. Scared that fucking you hadn’t been enough to soothe whatever it was that roiled inside him, like it usually was. Scared that he felt like he needed more than sex to heal this particular burn.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and part of him thought he was apologizing in advance, like he knew already he’d run scared at some point. “For being so...”

He didn’t know what word fit best.

“I told you,” you said, pressing a little closer, “I would have said if I had a problem.”

“Okay,” he said, frowning a little. “If you’re sure.”

Then he reached over and brushed a thumb along your cheekbone, chasing away a rivulet of shower-water. You closed your eyes for a second, and he swore he could feel you lean into the touch, just slightly.

He didn’t know how to explain how he felt. Kind of like he’d done a hot-coal-walk; the exhaustion that came with an adrenaline crash, the vulnerability that came after facing down something big, that need - the burn inside him needing cool water before it could quiet down.

With the shower off, the silence in the bathroom was loud.

“Do you…” Vernon started, then stopped. His heart hammered, the adrenaline returning. He covered the moment by toweling his hair roughly and pulling his hands through the strands so they’d lay right. “Do you want to stay for a little bit? I was gonna order delivery, maybe watch something before I finish my assignment.”

He’d expected you to think about it, to turn it over in your mind the way you turn his things over in your careful hands, the way you turn him ass over head with just a smirk. Instead, you nodded right away.

“Yeah,” you said, like it was no big deal. Like you did this all the time. Maybe you did, just not with him. “I was starving, actually. I could stay for an hour or two.”

On his couch, the leftovers of the food scattered on his coffee table, you reached for his hand, ran a thumb imperceptibly along his purpled knuckles. You didn’t ask what happened, just brought them to your lips and pressed the lightest kiss before putting them down again and reaching for your noodles, as if it hadn’t happened at all.

That was when Vernon saw the potential of it, an entire picture, framed and labeled: you could hurt him so badly if he let you, if he let it get that far. For whatever it was that burned inside him, you were the cool water… but you could absolutely be gasoline, instead.

1 yr, 3 months ago

If you closed your eyes, you could pretend the light that passed over your closed lids in a repetitive pattern was the sweep of a lighthouse beam. You could pretend that the rumbling bass of the music was the roar of the ocean. You could pretend that you weren’t here, in a shitty bar, but at the seaside. You could pretend that you weren’t alone. You could pretend that you weren’t you.

You drained your drink and caught the bartender’s eye, gesturing for another, sliding the sweating glass away from you once you knew a new one was coming.

“What are you drinking?”

The voice came from your right, and you lifted tired, disinterested eyes to find the source of it.

“G and T,” you answered, because it was one fewer syllable than saying gin and tonic and maybe that one syllable would do the dirty work for you and tell this guy that you didn’t want to talk to him.

“Nice,” he said, like you’d said something interesting, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. You didn’t return the question, just slid your phone screen on and opened your messages.

wyd

drinks at my hyungs place. wbu

damn. guess i have to settle for one of these very mid prospects at the willow

damn thats a sad story. if only you had a better option

if only my better option werent busy at his hyung’s

no one said i had to stay here. ur at the willow?

yep

The guy to your right tried again. “The DJ tonight kind of sucks, huh?”

You looked back at your phone.

don’t leave

You smiled into your drink, a thrill dancing through your bloodstream. The lights and music didn’t seem as garish as they had ten minutes ago.

“My boyfriend’s on his way to pick me up,” you said flatly to the guy who kept trying to talk to you, “so you might want to find someone else to complain about the DJ to.”

The word tasted like lemonade on your tongue - acidic and sour, sweet and refreshing, taste buds blooming and shriveling in tandem. Even the knowledge that it was a flat-out lie didn’t stop your heart from beating faster.

You expected the guy to get up and leave, maybe throw you a dirty look on his way. Instead, he seemed to call your bluff, narrowing his eyes like he was trying to read you.

“I don’t think I’d let my girlfriend go out alone looking like this,” he said evenly, and you let out a derisive laugh.

“The fact that you just said the words let my girlfriend probably has a lot to do with why you’re here alone,” you countered, a flash of victory slicing up your spine when you saw his face flush.

Before he could retort, you hopped down from your barstool, pushing your way into the crowded dance floor. You didn’t even want to dance, you just wanted to get away. If Vernon wanted to find you, he could come find you. He’d told you not to leave, he hadn’t said make it easy for me.

He found you anyway; he made it look easy. He stepped around a group of guys talking in a circle and into your space, like he was following a path, like he knew there’d be room for him.

You were happy to see him. You were happy he came. You were happy to breathe him in, to feel the warmth of his body and smell his cologne and hear your name tumble from his mouth like a statement. You were too drunk to tuck these truths away into pockets and folds where they would be harder to find.

You stepped to him and wrapped your arms around his neck. If he was surprised, his body hid it well. His hands came to rest on your lower back, pressing you closer to him as you leaned up to find his mouth.

You kissed him slowly, at odds with the frantic bassline vibrating under your feet. You let him tip your head back, changing the angle, sweeping your mouth with his tongue until you both tasted lemonade.

“Happy to see me?” he asked, a hint of a smirk on his face, one eyebrow arched in question and one half of his mouth twitching into a smile.

You didn’t have it in you to lie, so instead you said, “Your place?”

He led you outside.

As luck would have it, the idiot from the bar stood beside the front door, a cigarette between two fingers. His expression darkened when he recognized you, then further when he saw your fingers linked with Vernon’s as you stepped into the quiet night.

“Your girlfriend’s a fucking bitch,” the guy bit out, dropping the cigarette butt and stepping on it.

Vernon’s eyebrows shot up.

Evenly, he said, “She’s not -”

She’s not my girlfriend. You felt your stomach swoop, and you felt yourself flinch.

“- a bitch. She’s just smarter than you.”

Vernon tugged on your hand, leading you across the street to his parked, waiting car.

You tried to bite back a smile, and he looked sideways at you, his own lips twitching.

“What?” he demanded.

“What?” you parroted.

He scowled at you, but his lips were just smiling. “What?” he asked again.

You laughed. “Let’s go,” you said. “The bitch wants to kiss you more.”

You expected his smile to sharpen. Instead, something in it seems to soften, changing from teasing to actual affection.

“Alright,” he said, turning to start the engine. “Can’t really say no to that, can I?”

“You could,” you mused, as he pulled away from the curb and the bar slid into nothingness behind you, “but I just don’t think you should.”

1 yr, 2 months ago

wyd

melting

srsly

no, seriously. i am laying on my living room floor like a starfish trying not to turn into liquid

come to hyungs

its too hot to move

i have an idea, come meet me at hyungs

You frowned at your phone. Of course your aircon died during the only heatwave you could remember in your entire adult life. Your whole body felt sticky; you were pretty sure you were stuck to your floor.

It was too hot to move.

what’s the idea??

you’ll see. i’ll order u a car. can you bring a couple towels?

“Vernon, no,” you laughed, your voice echoing.

He shushed you through laughter, both of you leaning on each other as you stood at the edge of the yard, the grass tickling the bottoms of your bare feet. Upstairs, at his friend’s place, you’d thrown back a few shots for courage before following Vernon out here, and you were feeling them, your head swimming like your body might soon be.

“It’s a circuit, see?” he tried to explain, pointing through the night, as if you could see through all the fences and over all the hedges. “Five yards, five pools, and then we end up right back here and we get in the car and go. Just follow me, don’t stop for anything.”

“Someone’s gonna call the cops,” you complained. “And these neighborhoods all have cameras.”

“That’s why we keep moving,” he said, his grin so excited and so un-Vernon that you almost couldn’t bear to say no to him. “No one’s gonna call the cops if we’re already gone - it’s not worth it. You ready?”

You hesitated. “You’re good to drive us out of here?” you checked.

He held up his hands as if to show innocence. “Only had a beer,” he promised. “But I’ve got something fun in the car for after, if you want.”

You felt your grin turn wolfish. “Okay. I’m right behind you.”

“Try and be quiet,” he warned, then took off running across the yard, cannonballing into the pool with a splash.

You tore off after him, leaping into the water and suppressing a shriek when the cold water hit you. You felt instantly sober, jittery with adrenaline, alive with laughter. You spluttered your way to the surface and pushed water away from your eyes, trying to find him through the shadows.

He was already climbing out the other side, water running down his back, the muscle shifting in the half-light as he hoisted himself back onto the pool’s deck. You hurried across the pool, climbing up beside him, giggling wildly.

“Shhh,” he warned, but he was giggling too as he led you carefully over the fence to the next yard.

As soon as you crept close enough to the pool to jump, a motion-activated light came on, flooding the yard white and causing you to cover your eyes.

“Quick!” Vernon told you, grabbing your arm and pulling you in with him as he jumped.

You let out a stream of bubbles and water rushed into your mouth. You felt your feet hit the bottom and you pushed off hard, surfacing quickly.

Again, you followed him across the pool, both of you laughing and whispering, “Hurry! Quick!” as you climbed out and headed around the house to the front yard.

“Okay, this is the hard part,” he told you, both of you shivering as the night air caught up to you. “We have to cross the street, hop the fence, and then the pool is around back.”

“I’m ready,” you promised, with a particularly hard shiver.

You sprinted across the street, both leaving wet footprints on the pavement. His hand felt warm in yours when he helped you over the fence, warm on your body when he held your waist as you climbed down.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” you muttered, but giggles still spilled out of you.

“More fun than melting, right?” he asked, and you thought that you’d seen him smile more tonight than in whole months of coming together at night.

You thought you might move mountains to see him smile like this again, gums showing, open and honest, happy.

Then you were underwater again, swimming hard to keep up, following Vernon through the night as he pushed his way through some hedges and held them apart for you.

You made it to the last house before someone caught you, slamming the back door open and shouting, “Hey!”

“Go, go, go!” Vernon cried, laughing with such abandon that it sounded like goose honks, pulling on your hand as you both stumbled, dripping, towards the car.

You’d set towels on the seats before starting, so you tumbled into the car and he peeled away, both of you laughing wildly as you left the neighborhood behind.

It was miles before you calmed down, gasping in breaths and trying to hold them before exploding into laughter again.

“I’d better not end up on the news,” you scolded. “I’m in my underwear.

He gave you a searing sideways look. “I noticed.”

You felt yourself warm again, despite being in soaking wet clothes.

“Where next?” you asked. “Home?”

He let out a breath that was almost a sigh. “I don’t really want to go home,” he admitted. Then, “I was having fun with you.”

You considered this. “Not to be a cliche, but… I know a place.”

The quarry was quiet, surrounded by only trees; without posted lights, everything seemed to be just varying shades of black - the black of the water just darker than the black of the stone ledges just darker than the walls of trees just darker than the sky sprinkled with stars above you.

“We have to be careful,” you warned him seriously. “If you slip and get hurt, it could be bad.”

He turned the flashlight on his phone on and set it next to the metal rungs that jutted out of the stone, a makeshift ladder for the swimmers who came here during the day, when swimming was allowed.

“It’s going to be way colder than the pools,” you added.

“You’re not selling this very well,” he pointed out.

“Don’t be a chicken,” you teased.

He eyed the water. “I’m having second thoughts.”

You nudged him in the ribs, which caused him to squirm away, hands batting at yours, a noise emitting from him that made you laugh out loud.

“Are you ticklish?” you demanded. “How did I not know?”

“Come on, are we jumping or what?” he asked, laughing, still trying to keep your sneaky hands away from his ribs.

“Yeah, that’s probably the only way to actually get in,” you admitted, still laughing a little. Your abs felt a little sore from how much you’d laughed tonight.

You stood on the edge of the stone, toes curling over the ledge, Vernon’s hand tight in yours. You stood on the edge, the ink-like water beneath you rippling slightly, marring the reflection of the constellations high above you. You stood on the edge of something, knowing full well you were afraid to swim.

He counted you down, and together, you jumped.

The water was freezing - it hurt, it stung, and you shrieked and laughed as you surfaced. A foot from you, Vernon was shouting.

“The towels!” you told him, already swimming towards the little dot of light that marked the ladder.

Shaking and shivering, you reached your towel, wrapping it around yourself. Behind you, Vernon jogged up, making noises like a disgruntled horse as he found his own towel.

“Oh my god,” he groused, grabbing for you. “I’m freezing, come here.”

He opened his arms, the towel behind him like a wingspan, and you stepped into the space, letting him wrap his arms and his towel around you. You stood shivering together, trying to let your body heat chase the cold away.

You wrapped your own arms around his middle, pressing yourself closer as your legs shook, shivers rolling up your spine in waves as your body fought the chill.

“C’mere,” he murmured above you, holding you a little more tightly, his own teeth chattering.

It was the first time, you realized as you turned your head to rest your cheek on his chest, that you’d held each other. It was the first time you’d been between his arms when you weren’t fucking, the first time he’d tightened his grip around you for a reason other than gratification.

You didn’t want it - didn’t want to know that it felt nice in his embrace, didn’t want to know that it fit right and felt safe. You didn’t want to know that you liked it, didn’t want to have to fight against the humiliation of wanting more.

As soon as the full-body tremors died away in the warm, sticky night, you stepped away, eager to put distance between you again.

Later, he looked over at you from the driver’s seat of the car, red-eyed, his smile stretching slow and thick like putty. When you straddled his lap, his hands searching out the bare skin of your back, you rocked against him and pressed open-mouthed kisses to the column of his pretty throat until you were pulling groans from him with each pass of your hips.

Forget, you thought, as you pulled your underwear to the side for him. Forget every single thing but this.

When you slipped an arm behind his neck and pressed your foreheads together as you lifted and dropped, you weren’t sure whose memory you were hoping to erase with this most recent pleasure-chase: yours, or his.

1 yr, 1 month ago

There was no map or calendar to this thing your brain did. It was summer, the sun shone, and yet the days bled together again, sunsets swirling down the shower drain.

The last time you’d gone radio silent, the last time your world had gone grey without warning, Vernon had answered in kind. His own silence had shouted for him until you’d tempted him back.

This time, he didn’t resort to silence in retaliation to yours. Instead, he kept trying, relentless. If you’d had more presence of mind, you might have wondered why.

wyd

[ ]

yo. whats the deal

[ ]

i will have you know that this is very insulting

[ ]

don’t get mad but im coming over

“What the fuck, Vernon.”

“I said don’t get mad.”

“It doesn’t work like that. What are you doing here?”

He leveled you with a look. “You gonna let me in?”

“Literally, no.”

You hadn’t showered in days; your apartment was probably grosser than you were. The cat milled around your ankles, trying to weasel its way outside, and you hopped from foot to foot trying to nudge it back inside.

“Why not?” he asked.

You huffed, annoyed. But the annoyance was the first thing you’d felt all day, and something inside you clung to it, desperate for more of anything but the crawling nothing that’s kept you company for days.

“Because,” you grumbled. Because there’s nothing for you here. Because I have nothing I can give you. “I’m… just not in the mood.”

He stepped back from the door so you could see more of him. “I’m not asking you to be.”

“Then why are you here?” The words fell between you, heavy. If you hadn’t been so low, if you hadn’t gone all day without eating, if you hadn’t been on your thirtieth hour without sleeping, you would have known better. You would have realized that you were asking, if you aren’t here for sex, then what are you here for?

You wouldn’t have asked a question that you didn’t want the answer to.

He met your eyes. He seemed to teeter on the edge of telling you the truth, giving you the real answer. Then, he muttered, “Got bored.”

You knew it wasn’t the whole truth, and he knew you knew it, and yet neither of you were willing to look at it directly.

“I fail to see how that’s my problem,” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

He watched you for what felt like a long time, face serious, eyes glittering and attentive. Then, instead of answering, he repeated, “Are you gonna let me in?”

You frowned at him, but there was a little more pout to it than anger. “I’m all gross,” you said, instead of answering.

Something in him softened - it was visible on his face, in his shoulders, like he knew this was your way of saying yes. “So let’s shower,” he suggested quietly.

You felt trepidation, like part of you expected him to stay soft, to try to take care of you. To your relief, Vernon acted like everything was normal, scrunching his face at you when the water was too cold as he stepped in, washing his own body in silence and letting you do your thing.

He didn’t try to hold you, didn’t ask you when you’d eaten last, didn’t try to talk about it - didn’t try to fix it. He was just… there, and this - along with your first shower in days - was somehow revitalizing in itself.

You pulled on clean sweats, which was better than the day-four sweats he’d found you in. “The apartment’s kind of… sorry,” you mumbled, looking around the living room, feeling a bit of that familiar shame crawl up your neck as you noticed the evidence that you hadn’t been picking up, or running a vacuum.

Vernon flopped backwards on your sofa, unphased, one arm bent behind his head. “We’ve been doing this for almost a year,” he pointed out. “I know how it usually is.”

It isn’t usually like this. And neither are you.

You wondered when it happened - your ability to finish his half-thoughts, your ability to know what he meant when he only said a fraction of it.

You stood awkwardly beside the couch where he was lounging, and he looked up at you with a tiny, amused smile.

“What do you wanna do?”

What you really wanted to do was cocoon yourself in blankets again and put on repeats of a show you’d already seen. But now you had to look functional. You might be mad at him for showing up like this, now that you thought about it.

“I dunno,” you said, which was close to the truth.

“You wanna eat?”

“Honestly?” you asked, pursing your lips a little. “No.”

“Okay,” he said easily, and it struck you again how different this was than how Chan treated you when you were low. Chan would have already had the food delivered, and would be chasing you around the table with loaded chopsticks, demanding you take a bite.

“Can we just… watch something?” you asked, unsure.

Vernon wordlessly reached for your remote and held it up to you, nonplussed.

You wondered if it was an act, how easy this was, how unbothered he was, how he seemed to just understand what wouldn’t help.

You knew it wasn’t; you’d been around long enough to know that Vernon’s demons weren’t all that different from yours.

You settled somewhere between his body and the back of the couch, one leg bent over his legs, one of your arms over his stomach and his arm curled around your shoulders.

“This is weird,” you muttered into his chest, and his laugh rumbled under you.

“Why?” he asked, his smile big, like he thought you were particularly funny. “Not used to being big spoon?”

Not used to cuddling - with you.

“Yeah,” you said, because that was easier.

On your TV, a show ran through several episodes, the changing scenes splashing you and Vernon with changing colors, casting his face blue and then white and then black and then red and then blue again. Sometimes he’d watch, sometimes he’d scroll on his phone. You mostly felt his heart beating under your hand and let your mind whir.

At some point he started mindlessly (or not mindlessly, who could know) stroking your back, gentle touches brushing up and down, slow, slow, the way he always was. At some point you shivered, goosebumps rising along your arms, and snuggled closer to him. At some point he shifted you from slightly beside him to on top of him, a second hand slipping under your loose tshirt and joining the first in tracing stripes up and down your upper back.

You shifted against him, something coming to life with a shudder like the furnace in your parent’s basement on cold autumn nights. Heat worked its way slowly from your core to your stomach, down your legs.

He kept his eyes on the tv, innocent, but you could hear his heartbeat. It couldn’t lie and pretend.

You shifted again, squirming until you’d worked his t-shirt up just enough that you could touch skin, too. You trailed your own fingers over the inch of exposed stomach you’d found, and delighted in the way you could feel him start to harden beneath you.

Then, you delighted in your delight. It was the first good thing you’d been able to feel in almost a week.

You said his name, and he finally looked down at you, eyes nearly black in the unlit room.

“What is it?” he asked, and his voice was suddenly so low it sent shivers tumbling down each vertebrae and tripping over to your limbs. “Want me to make you feel good?”

No, you wanted to say as you answered his question by pulling the hem of his t-shirt higher, encouraging him to lift up so you could pull it off. No, just want you to make me feel.

1 year ago

Everywhere Vernon looked, all he saw was circles. Circle of red in his bowl when he inhaled. Circle of condensation on the table when he lifted his beer. Circle of light reflecting from his phone case, laying in the setting sunlight, to the ceiling. Above him, the ceiling fan circled lazily, nowhere to be.

And you - you and him. That was a circle, too. A cycle, at least, which was close enough in his opinion. Text, hook up, skitter back to your respective places, wait out the next weekend. It was as rhythmic and routine as waves breaking and then getting pulled back out only to come shatter on sand again. It was out of his control, up to forces far greater than he was.

Vernon’s friends had texted to hang out and he’d declined. He told them he was seeing his parents, but really, he just wanted to be alone. He wanted to watch the ceiling fan circle, he wanted to let his brain go staticky quiet, he wanted to burrow deep into things that made him feel less.

But he still, somehow, wanted to see you. He wanted to be alone, and being with you didn’t feel like not getting that.

It was a little scary, he thought, that you were the exception. That he could be with you without feeling the uncomfortable pressure of being with others, of having to be on, of having to fake cheerfulness and keep up with chatter that only exhausted him.

Vernon wasn’t a kid. He knew what it meant.

whats up

honestly not a lot. want me to come over?

Yeah, he did. He did, even if you weren’t going to hook up. He did, even if you were just going to lay on opposite sides of the couch and scroll on your phones. He did, and he hoped he’d end up with his arms around you, and he hoped he’d make you laugh at least once, and he hoped you’d stay and just be there with him after.

When you came over, he asked you how you felt about it - about him, about you and him. He asked by laying you on your back in his bed, by brushing fingertips along your face. He asked you by sliding your leggings away gently, pressing his mouth to each inch of your inseam as it became exposed to his dimly lit room. He asked you by kissing you through the lace you wore for him, then kissing the same spot once that lace was on his floor.

He asked you when he crawled up your body until his tip teased at your entrance and you whined, shifting to try to take him. And - when he took it slow this time, teeth scraping at your neck and then tongue hurrying to soothe the sting, his arms bracketing your body like he was sheltering you from an incoming storm.

(Maybe, he considered, he was.)

(Maybe, he considered, he was worthless in the face of this storm’s wrath.)

(Maybe, he considered, he was the fucking storm in the first place.)

And you heard his question loud and clear. You pulled on your leggings as soon as you were cleaned up, popping your hood up over your head as you searched for your phone. You kept your eyes on your screen as you waited for a car to come, murmured, “Later,” on your way out the door.

Vernon’s apartment rang with quiet. He was alone, he’d gotten what he’d wanted.

He’d also, it seemed, gotten his answer.

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thank you so much for reading!!! i'm always happy to hear what you think!

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tealvenetianmask · 1 day

Text

Some assorted circus/Buckzo family headcanons (fic someday maybe?)

Tilla was kind of a free spirit (who else would go join the circus?) and told fortunes for a small fee. There was no magic involved. She just got to know people and told them what they wanted to hear. She told each of the three kids their fortunes, and they all walked out of her tent feeling special and excited for their futures.

I also think Tilla may have been chronically ill/not always present in her kids' lives.

No one was watching these kids. Seriously. They were always climbing on dangerous things and interacting with creepy adults. Someone please watch them.

They all had each other's backs though. Most often, it was Blitz and Barbie who had to help Fizz out of ridiculous situations.

On that note, Fizz was a little younger than the other two (a year or so).

Blitz first learned to fight so he could protect his sister and his best friend from the rough crowd that tended to hang around after circus shows.

He was also regularly smacked around by his dad for being a shit performer and a troublemaker, and he fantasized about fighting back once he got older and stronger. By the time he was fifteen or so, he definitely could have taken his dad down a peg, but in spite of that he never hit back.

The person who owns the circus is a human sinner overlord. He realized that imps are harder to control than other sinners because he can't own their souls, so he branded them (the forehead symbol) to keep them from leaving/working for someone else. This didn't sit right with Tilla, but Cash promised her that they'd find a way out eventually after making a whole lot of money.

Cash thought of himself as a lot smarter than he actually was.

Cash took Fizz under his wing when Fizz was about seven and showed a ton of potential at an audition. Fizz's parents were super poor and HATED the branding and losing access to their kid, but they were starving, so they let him go out of hope for a better future.

Fizz's parents were always trying to get back into his life, but Cash kept him from them.

Fizz knew even as a kid that everything he had was because of his talent and that if he failed as a performer, he'd likely be thrown out.

Barbie excelled at acrobatics, but she never got nearly as much praise from Cash as Fizz did. She was jealous but didn't see any point to dwelling on it. She buried emotions from an early age and put her energy into keeping up and succeeding.

Cash gave up on Blitz's performance career long before Blitz gave up on it himself. Blitz kept coming up with increasingly ridiculous and dangerous performances to try to finally prove himself.

I thought I would focus more on Blitz, but it all ended up being about the people around him! More another time.

#buckzo family #cash buckzo #tilla #helluva tilla #helluva boss tilla #barbie wire #fizzeroli #blitz #blitzo #blitzo buckzo #helluva boss blitz #helluva boss fizzarolli #helluva boss barbie wire #Some of these headcanons might change as I learn more!!!#keeping myself entertained as i wait for full moon #And also oops some of these are super sad #sorry #Helluva boss #My helluva meta

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emocl0wnpp · 3 days

Text

Because i'm in a fankid frenzy again,time to properly introduce my babies!!(part1)

(Also in the current canon they're all adults-)

Also they're all in the same friendgroup-

So first we have Claws' and Jack's kids,Liam and Lau

A little about them

Liam:

He was adopted when he was 7(he died as a human and due to a mistake,ended up in hell where Claws found him as a little ghostie creature-)

The doll he "uses as his body" was made to look like Jack(duh) because he looked up to his father as a child

Though as he grew older he looked up to Claws more and more

The doll is made out of porcelain btw-

He knows how to play the piano :D

He was in his school's sport team(main reason why he's buff as hell)

He's very much..expressionless,and has trouble expressing his emotions in general

He's kind of like a mime

But he's a very sweet guy tho!

He's gay..very gay #manlover

He owns a casino in the underworld and is kind of a maffia leader,but still works under Zalgo

Lost some of his colors :((

Mama's boy(the good kind-)

His best friends are Floss,Jay,Corn,Berry and Alan(they'll be mentioned later)

Absolutely spoils Alan(his bf) even if he can't show affection/love properly

Knows his way around guns

If you need a gun he knows where to get them(from him)

Very much overprotective of Lau

Jill's favourite (and only) nephew

Now Lau!

Same story as Liam,except she was adopted when she was 6(Liam was 12 by that time)

The pretty pink princess of her family

Very much a daddy's girl

Jack spoiled her rotten when she was a kid

But thankfully Claws didn't let her to become a spoiled brat

...she's still a brat though,but a likeable one

She was the pretty cheer captain of her school :D

And she was in the theatre club too

Pretty much a Draculaura, Regina George, and Heather C. kind of gal

She works as a model in the underworld (she rich rich)

Loves having girl's only days with Claws(we love a wholesome mother-daughter duo)

Her besties are Cheryl,Jenna and Floss(will be mentioned later)

Makes Jack carry her stuff when she goes shopping

Actually she makes Jay(her husband),Liam AND Jack carry her shit-

Biggest girl's girl out there.

HUGE Millionares and Britney Spears fan

Despite her "bimbo" persona,she's hella smart

Jill's favourite (and only) niece

Next up are the trouble trio..Vicky and Candy's sons Candy Floss(just Floss or Flossy), Candy Corn(or just Corn) and Jay(the pics are in this order)

First, Floss:

The oldest twin

Takes a lot of pride in being the oldest twin

He's a loveable jerk

Trans guy!! (Still dresses kind of feminine to break stereotypes)

Has a deep ass voice

His hair is dyed. Non if it was his real hair color(his og hair is the same color as Jay's)

He takes after his dad Candy a lot..like a LOT

But he's a momma's boy like Liam-

He had to do cheerleading instead of being in the sports team bc his coach was an asshole,but during his senior year he was allowed to play in the team :D

Bullies his brothers as a form of love

Ngl he's kind of a jerk to everyone but it's his love language

Pretty boy™️

Does modelling with Lau :D

His best friends are Liam,Alan,Jenna,Cheryl and ofc,his brothers

Has a ferret named Noodles

Despite his jerk personality,he's an absolute loverboy when it comes to his lovely wife Jenna

Next up,Corn!

The middle son of the 3

Pretty much the quiet artsy kid

Who knows how to make bombs

Half of his face is burned,but he covers with it makeup

He has a strange shape-shifting ability that makes his colors change according to the seasons(will post it either here or in a p2 post)

He's probably the closest to Candy from his brothers

But he learned witchcraft from Vicky and very much enjoys it

He has a prostetic leg because of an accident(same as his burn marks)

He usually wears funky clothes

His wife is named Halloween :D (she's not my oc but one of my bff's,and idk if he has tumblr or no so i can't show her-)

Even tho he's quiet,when he snaps it's over. He can be a big bitch let's just say that-

But i swear he's a cool guy

His best friends are his brothers,Berry and Liam

He was also in the sports team alongside Liam

He stores stuff in is hair (his hair genuinely works as a portal-)

And last but not least, Jay and his assistant Opal the snake!

The youngest of the twins

And probably the oddball-

The sweetest guy alive

Literally THE husband material

But his heart already belongs to Lau :3

Matching west and bowtie with Liam!!

The patches on his shirt represent his brothers and friends

He owns many snakes,but Opal is his baby

Again,best husband out there,also spoiled Lau rotten

Got bullied by his brothers but loves them regardless

He's has a dad bod!

He has a little portal in his hat

He got Vicky's thick german accent-

Unlike his brothers,he learned a lot from Jason actually

His best friends are his brothers,Liam,Berry and Alan

Lau made him dye a pink strand in his hair-

His dream is to make his own circus and he works HARD to achive that

He's very The Greatest Showman coded

He'd probably love that movie too

Next iiiiis Jenna! The daughter of Jason the toymaker and Jade(i STILL didn't make a post of her-)

Prettiest doll out there!!

Looks a lot like her mom :3

Her eyes are made from glass

The sweetest girl out there

Daddy's girl,learned a LOT from Jason

Literally just a ray of sunshine

The kindest killer out there if there's a thing like that-

Besties with Lau and Cheryl <33

She did cheerleading too

But she loves all of her friends equally

Also an art kid like Corn-

Even though she's a sweet and well mannered girl,she got her anger from her dad-

She has a slight french accent because of her mom

Her parents did not approve of her relationship with Floss but she didn't care

She's pretty rebellious ngl

But other than that she's just a bundle of joy

Despite all these sweet things i listed for her she's lowkey like Jecka from Class of 09-

Also she's very much a Heather M. and Gretchen girl

Next up,Cheryl and Alan :D

First Cheryl:

Alan's twin :3(the older half)

She's mute and uses her mask to talk

Modded her mask to sound like Hatsune Miku once

Both of her arms and legs are prostetics(lost them in a fire related accident,along with her voice)

She's a proxy for Slendy

She usually hangs around Clockwork and Kate the Chaser when she's with the other proxies

But her besties are Lau and Jenna of course<33

But she's also friends with BEN and Toby

Both her and Alan are raised by their older sister Natasha

Lesbian women kisser woman lover♡♡♡

Heather D. and Karen kind of gal(she ain't dumb she just loves Karen with all her heart)

Girl failure but it's okay I love her

Did cheerleading with Lau and Jenna as well

Very good around tech and hacking

Her and BEN make a great duo when comes to tech

She learned sign language just to cuss people out

Now Alan:

Cheryl's twin(the younger half)

He gets bullied by Cheryl for being 0.1 second younger

He loves her with every fiber of his body tho

He's dyslexic

He's also a proxy for Slendy

He usually hangs around Masky Hoodie and Toby,they're like the brothers he never had

He looks up to Masky a LOT

But his best friends are Liam,Cheryl,the trouble trio and Berry

Gay

And Liam's biggest fan(we love a supporting boyfriend)

He used to be scared of Liam's family,especially Lau since they are in the same friendgroup

He got his burn mark in the same accident as Cheryl

Ngl he's kind of a jock himbo

Unless Liam is around then he's just a simp

Borrowed Hoodie's old,well,hoodie-

Helps Cheryl with tech stuff

Now time for the oddball of the group,Berry

Zalgo's son

No his full name isn't Berry i just forgot his actual name

Berry is just his nickname

Yes Zalgo got himself a son

Though Berry ain't nothing like him

He's canonically autistic btw and his special interest is humans+human biology!!

Let's not count how many humans Zalgo got killed for Berry

He surprisingly gets along with Lazari

Claws had to babysit him when he was little

Till this day he calls her mom by accident

His bestfriends are everyone in his friendgroup but he's the closest to Liam and Lau

He can be hella scary ngl

When he's mad or just really overwhelmed all hell is unleashed

He's over 5 meters/16 feet tall damn

He's fluffy unlike Zalgo

He made a lot of comments about his dad being all bones AND being bald

Zalgo babies him to death and he hates it a lot

He loves his dad tho

The person in the back holding him is his wife Y(who also belongs to the same friend as Halloween does)

He's a pretty sweet guy who can and will do wrong,but usually he's very friendly to those who are friendly to him

Notes:

Corn's different season looks along with some other kiddos will be included in another post bc i can't add more pics</3

Hope you enjoyed this tho!!

#creepypasta #creepypasta oc #oc #art #artists on tumblr #ibispaintx #digital art #creepypasta fanart #creepypasta fan kids #fankids #oc kids #they're my children #i love these mfs

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curapicas · 19 days

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This is dungeon meshi. "I don't want the meal you're offering" might be the cruelest thing a character gets to hear.

Well. Maybe second most cruel...

"I won't offer you food again" might be worse

#dungeon meshi spoilers #tfw you didn't want his gross food but ate anyway bc you feared exactly this #kabru triggering himself for his goals to suffering the pains of open communication pipeline #dm has a rule and it’s simple: meal together = desire for connection #dungeon meshi #I like senshi is also shocked here. 1st bc of course he is and 2nd it keeps laios from being too much the butt of the joke #after all he just learned he didn't actually make a friend!#this too is labru #labru

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shikai-the-storyteller · 1 year

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AWH... I'm skipping through Roier's QSMP Day 1 VOD because I'm looking for a specific thing, and I just noticed that when Jaiden stands in front of the group to do her introduction and her mic isn't working, Mariana laughs (not in a mean way, I laughed too) and Roier immediately smacks him and tells him off for laughing.

[Timestamp ~36m 50s, volume warning for Quackity's awful mic]

It's such a little thing, but I think it's really sweet in retrospect, especially considering how Roier and Jaiden have become such good friends in recent weeks :')

#i talk #qsmp talk #legitimately though I frickin adore Roier and Jaiden's friendship IT'S SO SWEET THEY'RE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS...#Jaiden was so nervous the first few days of QSMP and she talked about how she was too anxious to talk to people she didn't know #So this Egg event really helped her (and a lot of other people too)#It gave everyone a chance to make friends / bonds with people they might not have interacted with as much otherwise #it's just really sweet #I've got a special place in my heart for Jaiden I like her a lot #I used to watch her animations a bunch because my little cousin loves her #then I just kinda stopped because I don't watch Youtube creators much and my memory is awful #But QSMP made me start watching her again #and I found out all the stuff she's had to go through and I watched her videos where she talks about more serious stuff / her personal life #and like not to sound parasocial or whatever but my ''protective parental instinct'' went nuts after hearing all that #she's been through the wringer but it seems like she's doing a lot better #she's really funny and cool #but social anxiety is still a nightmare #I'm really glad she got Roier as her Egg partner -- he's so friendly and nice I think it really helped her relax a lot #and she's actually learning more Spanish despite saying she had 0 Spanish knowledge whatsoever when joining the server!!!#Idk man I'm just really proud of everything everyone's been doing on the server #and I'm really proud of Quackity for bringing people together like this. It's amazing #I love him so much and I'm so grateful this server exists.#First and Best Multilingual server baby!!!#Anyways I forgot how bad Quackity's mic sucked from literally everyone else's perspectives on Day 1 LMFAO #Roier specifically says ''Don't laugh!'' and ''Give [her] a pass!'' (for the mute issue)#alright I added a clip I can't not put a clip for this

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x-letsbreaksomerules-x · 1 year

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i think tonight i will draw my inquisitor covered in blood or something. put him through the horrors again

#you see i have a lot of feelings and opinions on how many people we kill in Inquisition #Cygnus also has many feelings about it and is constantly weighed down by the amount of people he has to kill. self defense or not #honestly i keep putting that guy through worse and worse shit #he lost his entire sense of self in the span of a month #he constantly plagued by the fears and worries about how his story will be told after he's dead #how his image might be twisted or used and he's as powerless to stop it as he was from the beginning #and then also he has to kill. all the time. for what he has to convince himself is the greater good #even though he doesn't believe in the Maker. and he saw what the Chantry did to Ameridan. and what it keeps doing to everyone else #Also Trespasser is a whole ordeal you can imagine how he felt learning history and context he didn't have before #and then learning his friend and companion is also trying to destroy shit. the shit he JUST fixed #even funnier is i v much gave him a humorous/sarcastic personality so he's just doing his best to make everyone like him #is it working? who knows.#his one strength is like being a people person and taking care of others and so he's decent at leading but like #doesn't mean he wants to do it he kind of hates it all the time always and wants to go home #ok ok im done talking im sorry i have him on my mind rn #man. i need to finish his actual character sheet

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elytrafemme · 1 year

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today might be a lyric posting on main kinda day

#nightmare.personal #GF said she was excited to see me later and sent me a heart and a smiley emoji #and it's the PINK hearts which I think in her heart rankings I learned last May that's a good thing?#but maybe purple is better but like why would she make me the worse one compared to what she made my ex #that doesn't make any sense also did i mention that my ex's first kiss i think was with my current girlfriend #i feel like this is some ruse but i was the one who pitched the date so nothing bad is going to happen but i don't think she likes me?#like i don't think my girlfriend actually likes me because i haven't seen her in forever #like i didn't see her at ALL yesterday and i mean i had to mediate an argument with her and my other friend #and that was like a week ago and we definitely spoke after that but i think she still remembers #and i HAVE to look good today but it's really cold outside so i don't know how to impress her #because I don't know what traits about me that she actually LIKES and that's like so difficult?#because I don't know what i need to play up to get her to really like me she isn't giving me ANYTHING #does she think i'm attractive? does she think i'm smart? does she think i'm kind? like WHAT IS IT.#because if i don't KNOW then i have to just be me and that's not going to work!#dating is so fucking difficult what the hell i'm going to explode #maybe I do my makeup today OOH I COULD PAINT MY NAILS #maybe that iwll make me better #no but then i have to hide the nails from my mom God dammit.#oh and i can't listen to music because my brother wants me to change my spotify username!!!#so if he sees me listening! he'll know i haven't! but i also don't think he follows me?#i don't think i like my brother very much #i keep trying to decide if there's something wrong with me and honestly i'm not so sure i think there isn't #but the fact i said that will make you think there is so there's no point anyway

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inkskinned · 6 months

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it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.

#spilled ink #writeblr #pos #recovery #my brain is like - don't trust it!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! we can't be wrong again!!!!!!#and im like. what if the sorrow is the thing that's wrong though.#what if this - this!!!!! - is the truth

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sweetnans · 11 days

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"I just hope that one day, we both can laugh about it, when it's not in our face, won't have to dance around it. Don't drive yourself insane. It won't always be this way" - Skin. Sabrina Carpenter (quote inspo)

Bakugo knew nothing about love. Well, that's what you thought when you first met him.

At the tender age of six years old, he had this habit of pulling you by your arm to drag you around when he wanted to show you something, his little fingers leaving marks in your skin.

When you were ten years old, he started putting his feet in your way so you would stumble and sometimes kiss the floor while he parted himself from laughter.

In the beginning of teenagers' age, thirteen, he used to put his arm on top of your head to make fun of you because he was actually getting tall while you were stuck in your pre-adolescence height.

At sixteen, he ghosted you.

Yep, that's what you read. He ghosted you because he felt this funny feeling growing in his tummy every time he saw you.

Katsuki never knew about love. You thought crying in your dorm because your best friend wasn't acting like your best friend anymore.

You actually believed it.

It all began when you two got into UA. He was excited, having someone to actually compete with? You learned a lot from him (almost against your own will), but after a few years, he considered you a fair opponent.

The feeling inside his guts happened instantly. One day, both of you were returning home from classes, in the train he was behind you, protecting you from all the people that were squeezing into their spots. A baby caught your attention immediately. She was smiling at you, and you couldn't help but make her faces, smile, and bat your eyes at that little baby, gaining a few giggles in return.

Katsuki found that amusing.

He started to see you with other eyes. Helpless eyes. That feeling that woke up one day to another got him desperate, pacing around, fighting with his own thoughts in a manic state.

He had never felt that before. He knew nothing about love.

So he did what he knew best. Ignore.

But we all know him, he isn't the kind of guy who can just let something (someone in this case) go...

He watches you from afar. He has studied your antics, your movements, how you express yourself with other people, with your classmates, with the teachers. He learned about you just by observing, and now he could easily read you. That was something that kept his mind at ease. Without talking to you, at least he could know what happened in your mind by just looking at you.

A few days later, you came down from your dorm with puffy eyes. He knew something was off. No one noticed because you made a pretty good job hiding it behind makeup, but he could tell, and he was about to figure out what happened.

You were preparing your breakfast. Something quiet shitty, Bakugo thought, but it wasn't his priority in that moment.

"What's wrong?" He asked directly.

He hasn't talked to you in months, so you were impressed that he decided to share space and air with you, let alone ask something so private.

"What do you care?" No one could blame you for your response. The bastard has ignored you after spending every day with you since you both were six years old. You didn't need his sympathy.

"I care," he said, leaning in the kitchen table, looking at your eyes. They were red and swollen but beautiful too. He had forgotten how you looked like up close. The butterflies in his stomach woke up instantly, but he didn't fight them this time.

"I'm not having a good week, that's all" you explained pouring some artificial cereal on your bowl.

He took that from you and exchanged for granola and oatmeal.

"I hate seeing your face like that. After class, I'm taking you to that ice cream shop you like, " he said nonchalantly like it wasn't one of the biggest gestures that he had done since you came to UA.

You couldn't help but smile. Maybe you could fix your relationship after all.

"It's winter, Katsuki," you stated, testing boundaries.

"Yeah, as if that had stopped you before" he rolled his eyes and flicked your forehead.

In the end, after he grabbed you by the arm and tossed you all the way to the ice cream shop, you came with the conclusion that Bakugo Katsuki knew about love in his own way and you were more than ready to explore that path alongside him.

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dramaticals · 5 months

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did you hear what i said?

pairing: theodore nott x gryffindor reader

summary: after a year of secretly dating, theo breaks things off when classes start up again. it's now christmas eve and he's back with a figurative box of regret / requested by anonymous.

author's note: angst! there will be a part two with fluff, but i just needed to get this out since i've been writing this for too long. (please) feel free to leave angsty requests in my inbox because this is the genre that gets my gears going! but i make no promises on resolutions and happy endings ♡

"You look happier."

Theodore stands in front of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, his hands shoved into his pockets. His presence garners murmurs all around, even though the Great Hall was emptier than usual for the holidays. The sight of him makes your breath catch. It's been three months since you last spoke to him, but the memory of that night resurfaces, ripping open the wound on your healing heart.

It was back in September.

Theo had passed you a note in Potions, asking you to meet him in the Astronomy Tower after dark. It wasn't a peculiar ask, so you didn't think much of it at the time. The Astronomy Tower had become your and Theo's spot. A quiet place for the two of you to just exist—no interruptions and no expectations from the outside world. Your house rivalry was nothing in that tower. It was just you and Theo.

The two of you would spend hours hiding there, often cuddled on top of a lush blanket you had hidden nearby. You'd talk about anything and everything with him, from learning about each other's likes and dislikes to venting about classes and classmates. On nights where the two of you favoured serenity, it was never unpleasant. You'd embrace the quiet, exchanging sweet kisses all the while enjoying the comfort and protection of his arms.

That night in September was different, though. You sensed it the minute you ascended the steps to see Theo standing stiffly by the railing, his gaze concentrating on a bird on the horizon.

Theo didn't even turn to face you—acknowledge you—before he was muttering the words that shattered your heart into pieces.

"I'm over this." Theo said, his tone void of any emotion. His hand clutched onto the railing so tightly that his knuckles were pale.

Stunned silence fell over you. You just looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"Did you hear what I said?" Theo turned to you then, and you could see the pained expression on his features. But then something shifted, and his expression turned cold. "I'm breaking up with you."

His words on their own were harsh, but the inflection on each syllable felt like he was personally twisting a serrated knife into your heart.

"I don't understand." You said. "Why? What did I—"

"I feel like you're getting attached, and I think we've run our course." Theo interrupted. His eyes, the ones you became so accustomed to, were dark and flooded with an expression even you weren't familiar with. Theo scoffed. "You didn't actually think we'd last, did you?"

Maybe it was the naive and hopeless romantic in you, but you truly believed you would. House rivalries, judgemental friends, and family expectations were merely obstacles the two of you would deal with together. You just felt so strongly about him, and you were certain he felt the same about you.

"Did you hear what I said?" The Theodore standing in front of you jerks you back to the present.

You blink, and you nearly drop your fork.

"I heard you," you say firmly, returning your attention back to the half-eaten plate in front of you. You make yourself look busy and uncaring (as much as you could with food and a full stomach), as if Theodore's sudden presence had no effect on you.

Theodore shifts in his spot, his eyes darting to the empty seat in front of you, silently contemplating whether he should take it or cut his losses and leave. Reluctantly, he settles on the former. This makes you tense, your lips pursing as he sits. It doesn't help that you were highly attentive to the whispers; your classmates were surely speculating why Theodore Nott would be choosing the company of a muggle-born on Christmas Eve. You put down your fork, bring your gaze to his, and let out an exhausted breath.

"Nott, what do you want?"

Hearing his last name from you makes his jaw clench. It was cold and formal, stripped of any history you two shared.

"Just wanted to know if you were as happy as you looked."

"You have no right to that type of information anymore."

"Humour me."

You glare at him. Theodore looks back at you with such shy tenderness that your gaze softens slightly.

Am I happy? you think.

Some days, sure. But most days, you find yourself wandering back to that dreadful night in September. Even after all these months, you still wonder if you had just said something different or fought back instead of taking it, maybe you and Theo would still be together.

It was why Ginny, the only poor soul who was aware of your relationship with Theo, had set you up with Michael Corner, a cute Ravenclaw boy in your year. He was smart, funny, and occasionally sweet, but he wasn't Theodore Nott.

Still, you persisted. You allowed yourself to indulge in the idea of being with Michael because the brooding Slytherin boy who had your heart had made his choice. You went on a few dates with Michael; he'd walk you to class, sit with you during Quidditch matches, and sometimes—when he was feeling courageous—he'd plant a kiss on your lips in the middle of the bustling corridor.

"I am." You lie, and you bite down on the insides of your cheeks. What good would it do to admit you weren't, especially to the cause of your turmoil?

Theodore watches you, practically analyzing your features. He doesn't have to say anything for you to know he didn't believe you, and you hated that—hated him, for having been so attentive to you that your tells were obvious.

"You are?" Theodore questions.

"That's what I said, didn't I?"

"I think you and I have a habit of saying things we don't mean."

His careful words and wistful gaze make you flush with embarrassment and anger. To this day, you still weren't sure why Theo had broken things off with you, and it was something that had kept you up countless nights. Through gritted teeth and cheeks stinging with remembered hurt, you say, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Theodore starts, his eyes flickering around to ensure no one was listening in. While a few lingering glances were sent your way, everyone was spread out far enough that it'd be hard to eavesdrop. He drops his voice anyway. "I shouldn't have said what I did that night. I didn't mean it. I don't mean it."

The anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach erupts, your eyes blazing. "Is this some sick game to you? It's been three months, Theodore. I spent three months crying over you and wondering what the hell I did to you to be so bloody cruel. And now when I'm finally ready to move on from you, you come back to tell me you... you didn't mean it?" The last words leave a dirty, salty taste in your mouth.

"No, no," Theodore shakes his head, swallowing thickly as you recounted the months of hell. He hadn't been doing any better either, but Theo was generally good at hiding his afflictions. Numbing the pain with weed and alcohol were among his favourite remedies. "It's not a game. It was never a game. You should know me well enough to know that I would never mean any of the things I said."

"Know you?" You almost laugh. You had replayed the breakup and the weeks leading up to it in your mind countless times, trying to make sense of the bullshit non-reason he had given when he broke up with you but nothing made sense. The whole thing made you spiral, questioning everything that had ever happened between you two. "I'm actually convinced I never really knew you, because the guy I knew would never have done that to me."

Having had enough of the conversation, you get up, leaving your half-eaten plate and a pained Theodore at the Gryffindor table. You're almost past the door of the Great Hall when Theo, as a last-ditch effort, grabs a hold of your wrist, hauling you to a stop. You let out a small huff and turn to face him.

"Meet me in the Astronomy Tower after dark." Theodore says softly, almost pleadingly. He makes a conscious effort to ignore all the prying eyes that turned.

"Because that worked out so well for me last time."

"Just—please. If you want to continue never speaking to each other again after that, then fine. But at least let me explain."

You had every intention of ignoring Theodore’s request. He didn’t deserve a chance to explain—the statute of limitations for explaining ended months ago. And yet, you found yourself sneaking out of the Gryffindor common room and up to the Astronomy Tower, inebriated by the countless what-ifs and string of memories: Theo sneaking a kiss on your lips as everyone turned to view whatever Hagrid had for Care of Magical Creatures, Theo resting his hand on your thigh during potions, Theo winking at you as you watched him play Quidditch.

“You’re here.” Theodore says, just as you reach the top of the staircase. He was sitting by the railing.

“I am,” you say as you walk toward him reluctantly. You settle next to him.

Theodore looks at you, and it looks like he’s about to say something, but then he shuts his eyes, shakes his head, and sighs.

You’ve never seen him at a loss for words. He was intentionally silent, sure, but his quick wit never failed him.

“I’ve regretted that night every day, you know.” He speaks up, his solemn eyes trained on yours. “I replay it over and over.”

Theodore’s gaze is unrelenting, brimming with seriousness and a vulnerability that you haven’t seen before. You tear your gaze away from his because the more he talks and looks at you like this, the more you find it hard to breathe.

“Then why do it? Why say those things?” You manage to ask.

Theodore’s jaw clenches. “Lesser of two evils.”

When you look at him with a confused expression, he continues, “It was better to lose you on those terms than to lose you completely.”

Silence falls on both of you, filling the space like a thick fog.

“I lost my mom when I was seven.” Theodore explains, his eyes darkening. “A freak accident.”

Out of the year you and Theo dated in secret, he had rarely mentioned his mom. And if he did, it was small tidbits—precious memories. Regardless of how small and insignificant the memory would seem to others, you gathered how important Theo’s mom was to him. Underneath Theo’s stoic expressions and calculating demeanour was a softness to Theo that could only be accredited to his mom.

“She got caught in the crossfire between some death eaters.” Theodore says, his expression pained. He drops his gaze now, but you keep your eyes on him. There’s a mixture of grief and anger that flashes across his features, and it takes everything in you to hold yourself back from reaching for him. To comfort him.

“It took me years to get over it. I don’t even think I am yet—I’m still angry at my father for allowing this shit into our lives and for continuing to do it.” Theodore says, letting out an exasperated breath. You knew what everyone else knew about Theo’s father—he was a blood purist, rumoured to be loyal to you-know-who. He’d hate you the moment he’d find out you were muggle-born.

Theo meets your gaze now, and it’s your turn to feel winded. It was like you were looking at your Theo again. The sweet, sarcastic, pain-in-your-ass-but-in-a-good-way Theo. “I lost my mom, who meant the world to me, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I lost you too. So I pushed you away. I figured it was best to cut our losses before I pulled you into something you had no reason being in. Before I lost you permanently.”

“What’s changed?” You ask, shaking your head. His words were hard to process, but the pieces of the last few months were beginning to click into place. “I’m still me, and last I heard, your dad was still your dad.”

“I realized that, in a way, I was kind of like my dad.”

“What?”

“I mean,” Theo says. “My dad never gave any of us a choice. Not me, and not my mom. We always had to go along with him and deal with the consequences of his actions. I took a choice away from you, and you just had to deal with it. I don’t want to do that anymore. I still think I did it for the right reasons, but I regret it. I want to be with you. I should have told you what I was worried about—told you about the risks of being with me, so we could make a decision together.”

Together.

That’s all you wanted. You were more than willing to have dealt with any obstacle that was thrown your way, so long as you had Theo by your side.

But that was three months ago. And while his words brought goosebumps, butterflies, and heart palpitations, they also brought a slew of conflicting feelings. You understood why he broke things off now, and although his reasoning was well-intended, it didn’t excuse the fact that you had spent the last three months in a state of despair and heartbreak. You didn’t eat as much, your grades dropped, and you couldn’t even look at him until recently in fear of tears and the overwhelming rush of memories.

“So?”

“Theo,” you say softly. Your eyes search his face.

There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips at the sound of his name. Not Theodore, not Nott. Theo.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He exhales sharply at your response, and his expression shifts as he turns to face the horizon. He wanted you to say it was worth the risk and that you wanted to be with him as much as he did. He wanted you to forgive him for what he did to you. “It’s fine.”

“No—I just... I need to think.” You say quickly. Your heart was screaming for him, but your brain was weary. And if the past three months taught you anything, it was that you needed to act with your brain and not your heart. “I just need time. This was a lot to process.”

“Right, of course.” Theo says with a curt nod. He turns to you again, offering a weak smile. It was his heart’s turn to break. “Well, thanks for coming tonight and letting me explain. I guess, just let me know.”

You watch him stand, brush the dirt off his robes, and turn away. Just as he reaches the staircase back down, he looks back at you. Your eyes catch his gorgeous arctic eyes, your cheeks burning and your heart racing.

"Merry Christmas, by the way." Theo says before he descends down the stairs.

#theodore nott #theo nott #harry potter imagine #slytherin x reader #theodore nott x you #theo nott x you #theodore nott fanfiction #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott x reader #theo nott x reader #theo nott x y/n #theodore nott x y/n #slytherin boys #theo nott imagine #*writing

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madlori · 20 days

Text

On Tommy Kinard

"It's not that I don't like Buck and Tommy, it's just happening so fast, he's underdeveloped!"

*clears throat*

Here is a recap of what we know about Tommy. And this is just off the top of my head, I didn't rewatch anything.

He was closeted at the 118 before and found the atmosphere repressive. He (probably) acted like a dick to fit in. When presented with the chance to make things better, he took it, and developed positive relationships with Hen, Chim and Bobby.

He was in the army and trained there as a pilot.

He knows Muay Thai and has a set up in his house.

He likes to work on cars and has a lift at his house (where TF does he live is my question - he has some nerve being agog at Buck's loft if he has a muay thai gym and a car lift)

He is down for violating departmental policy at the drop of a hat (has done so on at least two occasions) to help a friend and has no problems fucking with the fire chief.

He is a nerd. He likes pub trivia and has incorrect Star Wars opinions, and can keep up with Chim in the movie-quoting department.

His favorite movie is "Love, Actually" and he likes craft beer and monster trucks.

He came out when he transferred to Harbor and felt comfortable enough to stop lying about who he was.

He follows MMA and has friends in Vegas who like him well enough to hook him up to a frankly insane degree.

He'll risk his own life and engage in helicopter skulduggery to save people he doesn't know...I mean, apart from doing that for a living.

He'll take time out of his day to give a tour to the cute boy who called him up and offer to give that boy flying lessons (a significant time investment) which was probably maybe about more one on one time with said boy.

He yearns for the belonging and found family that the 118 became after his departure and probably befriended Eddie hoping to earn a plate at the cookout, aside from just clicking with him.

He likes Eddie and Chris a lot and they like him. Chimney also likes him.

He was attracted to Buck right away and was emotionally aware enough to pick up on Buck's jealous feelings over Eddie and his friendship, even if he was surprised that it was him Buck wanted to get to know.

He respects and values Buck and Eddie's friendship and wanted to make sure Buck knew that.

He's brave enough to shoot his shot by planting one on a dude.

He's a lil bitchy but also generous and ready to throw in with this insane guy who's inviting him to a family wedding after 0.5 dates.

He showed up to a bachelor party when he was on call because Buck asked him to, then showed up in turnouts after fighting a fire for like 12 hours yadda yadda we all know this part.

He has got it BAD for one Evan Buckley, who he only calls "Evan" which according to LFJR is a conscious decision by the writers, which fascinates me.

He was willing to take a chance with a man just discovering his sexuality BUT wasn't willing to put himself through that if the man in question wasn't ready for it. When Buck showed him that he was, he was all in.

He does NOT take his coffee like that.

Oh and

He's a beast.

This is VASTLY more information than we knew about ANY of Buck's previous girlfriends with the possible exception of Abby. Even Taylor did not get this much development over 20 episodes (things we knew about her: she was an ambitious and ethically flexible reporter, did not eat fudge, had a dad in jail, and sometimes jogged for exercise, she was capable of being nice and did love Buck, I believe). And as for it being fast? Sometimes it just be like that? A relationship doesn't have to have year(s) of buildup. Sometimes people do just meet, like each other, and start dating, in fact in the real world that's usually what happens. It's in TV Land that you have to have eighteen seasons of UST before pulling the trigger. Most of the time in reality people just vibe off each other and decide to go out and THEN they learn about each other.

And they've got a great start. You'd think they'd barely spoken by how a few naysayers are talking about it - the loft scene was like a solid five minutes of very open conversation, the Cringe Date seemed to have gone well and again, open and honest (if cringey) conversation before Cockblocker Eddie showed up, and the coffee meetup was again....open and honest conversation. They're not gonna show us long scenes of them exchanging firefighting stories and workout preferences (I mean, I'd watch that, but it's not what the show is about).

In conclusion, anyone saying he's poorly developed or the relationship is "out of nowhere" either is being willfully obtuse or has ridiculously unrealistic expectations for relationships and/or what constitutes character development.

As for whether they have chemistry, that's a matter of subjective opinion. Given that a TON of people watched that harbor tour scene (even when it was posted as a sneak peek) and started going "wait...what's going on here...are they flirting??" might be a clue. People were talking about Bi!Buck maybe happening with Tommy based solely off that clip of the harbor tour and what they were seeing between them. And imho that loft scene was crackling. But we all see things through the lenses of our biases, myself included.

Got that off my chest, whew.

#9-1-1 #evan buckley #bucktommy #911 #tevan #kinley #tommy kinard #9-1-1 meta #9-1-1 shipping #fandom discourse #firepilot #trying to use all the ship tags we have #buck x tommy

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alastorss · 3 months

Note

HIIII so i had an idea for like a reader that's crushing on alastor, and angel dust making jokes about it in front of alastor and basically what would happen once he catches on

Have a lovely day, get good sleep!!!<33 luv ur writing<33

a/n: hello sweets <3 thank you and i hope you like this!

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Alastor has watched you splash your martini all over Angel's face so many times this week, he's almost certain the star is provoking you on purpose just for a free drink.

In the short time he's come to know him, he's learned that if there's one thing Angel Dust is good at—besides looking pretty on film—it's that he can be absolutely shameless.

Alastor remembers, with a twinge of disgust, that the spider had once told him he came with built in reins. That comment kept him seething for hours.

And now, poor you, having fallen into the trap of his intricate web—the Radio Demon would be laughing if he didn't actually feel slightly bad for you. He knows what it's like to be on the receiving end of those comments, after all.

You, unlike your four-armed friend, have a capacity for shame the likes of which have never been seen before. All hot cheeks and wide eyes, lips pulled into a straight, thin line—embarrassment burns in every corner of your expression.

Though, that's probably why Angel has taken such a liking to teasing you.

Here he is again, crawling over the bar to get into your face as soon as Alastor appears in the room. His voice is low and melodic, so quiet the Overlord can't quite make out the words until—

"Look, hun. Your prince charming!"

Alastor raises a brow as he takes his seat next to you at the bar, setting down his newspaper.

"What was that?" He asks, eyes flickering between you and a coy-looking Angel Dust.

"Oh, nothin'. That right, sugar?"

You look nothing but utterly defeated, martini forgotten and abandoned. "Angel..." you mutter in warning. The spider only shrugs and gives you a toothy little grin.

"Hey Smiles," Angel suddenly grabs you by the cheeks and turns your face to look in Alastor's direction. You only blink at each other in surprise. "Cute, eh?"

You quickly smack his hand away from you, swivelling around to glare. "Quit it!"

Angel puts his hands up in mock surrender. He huffs, backing off. "Okay, okay! Fine! You two are unbelievable."

With that, he stalks off to bother Husk instead. You sigh in relief, head hitting the bar counter. For a moment, you completely forget that Alastor is still sitting beside you.

"Care to explain?"

He watches as you nearly jolt out of your skin, amused at how flustered you are from a little teasing. It's rather cute.

"It's nothing!" You sputter, waving your arms around in panic.

But you can't fool Alastor. Not anymore.

It hadn't clicked before—that perhaps there was some merit behind Angel Dust's words. He had gotten so used to empty threats of sexual advances that he had ruled out the possibility that the star was being a little serious for once.

He wasn't exactly subtle, always jumping on the opportunity to make your cheeks burn whenever the Radio Demon was around.

"It didn't sound like nothing," he sings, leaning in closer to you so he can gauge your reaction.

As expected, you nearly leap away from him when he suddenly invades your personal space. He snickers.

"Not you too..." you groan.

"Why, I didn't know you had such a crush on me, darling~"

"You're the worst."

"Ah, and I suppose that's why our dear friend has been teasing you about me all this time? Because I'm the worst, and you hate me?"

He's getting entirely too close. His face is nearly touching yours.

You stare at him in bewilderment, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Finally, you manage to stammer out a weak retort.

"You should butt out of other people's business."

"It sounds like it's about to be my business, dear. You know, if you liked me so much, you could have just told me instead of Angel Dust."

"I preferred it when you were just a regular asshole, and not a cocky one!"

"Oh, how you wound me~"

"Shut up!"

taglist: @the-lake-is-calling @dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice @averylonelysea @bri22222 @cxrsedwxrlds @amarokofficial @anae-naea-zacheria @for-hearthand-home @fantasy-is-best @angixyc @th3-st4r-gur1 @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it @dilemmaiscool @concentratedconcrete @squiword7 @clarakainda

#🍓 faye's thoughts <3 #alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin x reader #alastor fanfic #alastor headcanons #alastor fic #alastor x you #alastor fanfiction #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor hartfelt #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin #hazbin hotel headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfic

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awearywritersworld · 8 months

Text

"took you long enough"

gojo satoru x reader summary: when you ask your best friend to meet the guy you've been seeing, things don't go quite as planned. w/c: 3.2k tags/warnings: angst to smut with a fluffy ending. 18+. friends to lovers. jealous gojo. curse words. drinking. gojo shoves ur love interest. he's just kind of an ass to him in general. fem!reader. no use of y/n. a/n: i don't often write smut, but i kinda got carried away.. carpe diem, i say masterlist

gojo is tired of hearing you ramble on about the new guy you've been seeing. he barely even glances at your phone screen when you try to show him a picture you took together.

"you're way out of his league," he states dryly.

"hardly," you scoff. "men don't exactly line up for me like women do for you."

it'd be a lie to claim you didn't have a thing for gojo at one point, but you learned a long time ago that he isn't interested in you that way. it wasn't hard to tell, given his parade of hookups and the occasional two week relationship. you've gotten over it though... for the most part, anyway.

he rolls his eyes. "i assure you that's only because you're shy, princess."

"okay, so you should be rejoicing that your best friend finally landed herself a boyfriend—"

"boyfriend?"

"well.. it's not official yet, but i think he's going to ask me soon!"

your apparent enthusiasm at the prospect leaves a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. of course, it's only because he wants the best for you and this guy certainly isn't it. "you've gone on like two dates."

"'toru, i've been seeing him for almost a month!" when he doesn't respond, you continue speaking. "so... that's why i was sort of hoping you'd come out with us tonight."

he looks at you increduously, "i am not third wheeling."

"you won't be!" you assure. "shoko and kento said they'd come. i just want you to meet him because you're really important to me and i actually think this could go somewhere—"

"alright, alright," he acquiesces, albeit begrudgingly. he's never been able to say no to you.

you squeal with excitement, throwing your arms around his neck in a brief hug. "i can't wait! we're all meeting at seven, i'll text you the address."

after a quick kiss to his cheek, you gather your things, all but running out the door. you weren't going to give him a chance to change his mind.

he stares after you wordlessly, running a hand through his hair while an unfamiliar tightness overcomes his chest.

when gojo enters the bar, he spots you right away despite the sizable crowd. as he makes his way toward your group, he can't help but notice how pretty you look in your little dress. in fact, you'd look absolutely perfect if it weren't for the fact you have another man's arm around your waist.

wait, what?

your laugh rings out across the room and judging by the smirk on shoko's face, he can tell she's said something you find unreasonably funny. once you spot him, your face lights up and you pull away from your almost boyfriend to give gojo a hug, something that brings him a sense of satisfaction.

"hey, sweetheart," he greets loud enough that the other man can hear. "who's this?"

"satoru, this is shinya!" you're beaming at him expectantly, so gojo has no choice but to extend his hand.

"hey, man." shinya shakes it firmly. "it's great to meet you. my girl's told me a lot about you."

gojo's eye twitches and he decides almost immediately that he finds shinya utterly insufferable. his voice is grating and he's too short and didn't you say you prefer guys with lighter hair—

"nice to meet you, too," gojo responds cooly. "i'm always happy to meet one of her friends."

nanami and shoko share a knowing look, more than prepared to break out their hypothetical popcorn. and boy, is this as good an occasion as any.

the strongest sorcerer isn't one to indulge in liquor, but how can he refrain when he has to be in the same room as shinya? each time he touches you, looks in your direction, calls you some sickening pet name— whenever he breathes in your general vicinity, really— gojo brings his drink up to his lips.

everyone else seems to be getting along, but unfortunately, he grows increasingly snarky with each glass he empties.

shinya asks what you'd like when he goes up for another round and it's 'oh, you don't know her favorite drink? well, i guess you're not as close as we are.'

shinya pulls your chair out for you and it's 'wow, you really got yourself a gentleman, princess.'

shinya mentions that he's fairly well versed in martial arts and it's 'really? maybe we should go out back and spar. i think it'd be fun.'

nanami steps in then, not entirely convinced gojo would hesitate before laying him out. "you can put the measuring tape away, idiot."

shinya is being an impressively good sport, but your anxiety has you emptying glasses in a hasty manner, too. you have no idea what's going on with gojo. you understand that he can be abrasive at times and that communication definitely isn't his strong suit, but his behavior is just absurd. you force an awkward laugh at nanami's comment.

"not that i'm not having, um, a great time and all!" you hiccup before continuing. "but i'd really like to dance. c'mon shinya!"

nanami and shoko wind up joining you both, which comes as a surprise. neither of them are exactly the partying type (not that you are either), but you're happy to see them having fun. honestly, you can't remember the last time either of them let loose.

you wonder if they also just wanted to escape gojo's snide remarks. now that they aren't ringing in your ear every other minute, your nerves have certainly calmed down a bit. well, until—

"so you do know that he's totally in love with you, right?"

"who?" you question, looking around as if it'd be obvious.

and it is, just not to you.

shinya chuckles. "gojo."

"what?" you bellow, completely dumfounded. "no way! i mean he's not— and i'm not— we're just friends."

"yeah?" he still sounds amused, nodding in gojo's direction. "is that why he looks like that?"

turning toward your table, even you have to admit he looks completely miserable. unbeknownst to you, he's spent the last half hour sending away every woman that approaches him asking to dance. he just isn't in the mood right now. at least, that's what he tells himself.

"er.. he just doesn't get out that much," you try your best to brush it off.

"whatever you say, baby."

you're relieved he doesn't seem terribly bothered by the idea, even if you find it completely implausible. it's true you spend a lot of time together and that you know one another like the back of your hands, but you'd given up any hope of it being more than friendship a long time ago. you'd moved on.

but if that's the case, why did shinya calling you baby suddenly feel so wrong? you convince yourself it must just be the alcohol.

when the four of you finally stumble back to the table, you realize you've missed last call. though it's probably for the best, as the five of you are certainly in for a nasty hangover the following morning.

it's near closing time, but the crowd has hardly thinned out and the music is still beating loudly in your ears. you're going back to jujutsu tech with your friends rather than home with shinya, so you loudly exchange goodbyes over the music as he gets ready to leave.

"i had a really great time tonight," he tells you. "maybe we could go for dinner tomorrow? there's something i've been wanting to ask you."

"okay!" you agree eagerly, eyes shining. "i'll call you in the morning."

gojo feels his stomach drop, his jaw clenching bitterly. he tries to tell himself to relax because this is what you want, but he just can't seem to get his thoughts straight.

shinya leans down, his lips meeting yours sweetly, and it causes white hot anger to flood gojo's body. it all happens so fast, shinya's ripped away from you with astounding force and he staggers backward. you've been struggling to hear over the noise all night, though you make out each word that follows with striking clarity.

"get the fuck away from her!"

gojo stalks off before anyone has time to process what just happened. he's already half way across the room when you come to your senses.

"'toru!" you call out, taking a step in his direction when he doesn't respond. "satoru!"

you take another step but you're stopped when something pulls you back. you look down to find shinya's hand wrapped around your wrist before your gaze turns up to meet his eye. "look, i really like you, but if you go after him, don't bother calling tomorrow."

the ultimatum is simple, but so is your decision. "i'm sorry."

you run off before he can say anything else, shoving your way through the bar patrons, and follow gojo out the door into the cold air of night.

"satoru!" you shout once more, thankful that his pace is slow enough for you to catch up. he turns to face you when you tug on his sleeve.

you nearly shy away from him, his expression something fierce, but the liquor in your system gives you courage. "what the hell was that? you embarrassed me—"

"i don't fucking care," he spits.

he's never taken such a tone with you, so you throw your hands in the air and exhale impatiently. "what do you mean? you should care! you're my friend, aren't you?"

"that's exactly what i mean. you're supposed to be mine," he growls.

you're not sure how it happens, but the next thing you know, his lips are crashing into yours, your teeth knocking together with the force. his hands paw at your hips, pulling your body against his greedily.

"i can't believe," he mumbles against your lips, "you wasted your time," his hands find your hair, tugging your head back and revealing your neck, "with that fucking loser."

once he's finished speaking, his lips trail across your jaw, landing just below your ear. your eyes flutter open and you're suddenly very aware that you're standing in the middle of a public sidewalk.

"'toru," your voice is breathy, even though you're trying desperately to keep it together. "there are people—"

he pulls away heatedly, his eyes narrowed. "you didn't care when he kissed you in front of everyone."

"yeah, but that was just a peck," you reason, though if he keeps this up, you're worried you might lose your resolve.

"tch, i guess you're right." the familiar sensation of warping through space and time sweeps through your body for a few seconds before your feet meet solid ground again. you don't need to look around to know you're in his bedroom. "we're going to do a lot more than that tonight."

your stomach flips at his words, heat rushing to your core. his lips find your neck once more, leaving sloppy kisses along your skin. "that's what you want right? for me to show you who you belong to?"

you nod weakly, feeling as if you're in a daze.

"ah, ah. use your words, sweetheart."

"yes— ah—" he sucks on the spot just above your collarbone before nipping the delicate skin there. "yes, 'toru."

"then get on the bed," he orders lowly.

and who are you to disobey? you can't honestly say you haven't been dreaming of this for years. his blanket feels cool to the touch, making you realize suddenly how much your skin is already burning with desire.

he kneels beside the bed, wasting no time before pushing up your dress and pulling your legs apart. you see his shoulders fall as he exhales harshly at the sight. his eyes flutter shut when he presses a kiss to your core over the tiny cotton panties you decided to wear.

he's rudely reminded of the possibility that you may have put them on with another man in mind.

"did you let him fuck you?" he interrogates. his eyes don't leave yours as he begins placing open mouthed kisses on the inside of your thigh.

"n-no!" it's almost embarrassing how vehemently you deny it, but the man between your legs takes great pleasure in your response.

"mm, knew you were a good girl."

he hooks a finger beneath your panties, pulling them down excruciatingly slow. you buck your hips up once he throws them off to the side.

"feeling eager, princess?" he taunts, his breath fanning across your center.

you nod, your legs shaking with anticipation, before remembering what he said about using your words. "please, 'toru. need you so bad."

he can't possibly deny you, not when you beg for him so sweetly. he presses a soft kiss to your swollen bud before flattening his tongue against it, drawing circles there. he groans when your slickness coat his chin.

you whine when his eyes shift up to meet yours and push yourself against him even further. he chuckles against your skin, but truth be told, he's just as eager as you are. he slips one long finger inside of you, relishing in how easily you take it.

"oh—" you cry out as he adds another finger, his tongue pressing against you just a little harder.

his other hand is gripping your thigh roughly, the flesh spilling between his fingers. one of your arms is supporting your weight, but the other reaches out, your fingers threading through his hair.

you're panting now, tugging on his white locks in pleasure. he moans in response and the way your walls are clenching around him lets him know you're close. "c'mon baby, cum for me."

that's all it takes for you to unravel, his name falling from your lips over and over. he doesn't stop until he's sure you've come down from your high.

"you tasted so perfect," he tells you, unbuckling his pants in a hurry and shoving them down his legs.

his shirt and boxers follow quickly thereafter, so you pull your dress over your head. you can't tear your eyes away from his cock, it's long and thick and pretty.

he pushes you back against the bed and crawls on top of you, but then he just stares down at your face. just as you begin to wonder if something is wrong—

"you're so fucking beautiful. have i ever told you that?"

your mind reels for an answer, but you don't have to worry about it for long, as his lips capture yours. you can taste yourself on his tongue

"tell me what you want," he murmurs against your lips as he moves his cock along your slit, coating himself in your wetness.

"need you, 'toru. p-please, i need you to fuck me."

he smiles against your lips as he lines himself up with your entrance, pushing inside slowly. he leans back to find that your eyes are screwed shut and your lips are parted in bliss. he's determine to seer the image into his mind forever.

splitting you open is absolute ecstasy, the noises he's making are proof enough of that. "fuck, princess. fuck."

he nearly whimpers when he bottoms out. "god, you feel so perfect. i could stay in this pussy forever."

your legs wrap around his waist once he begins to pump in and out. "never felt so full, 'toru. it feels s'good."

he shudders at your words and laces his fingers with yours, sweat beading on his forehead as he picks up his pace. his head dips down, his teeth nipping the skin of your neck aggressively.

"p-people are gonna see—"

"i want them to," he rumbles. "want everyone to know how good i made this tight little pussy feel."

you can't argue with him, not when this is the best anyone's ever made you feel. his head shifts even lower, his tongue moving along your nipples in a way that has your back arching off the bed.

he uses the opportunity to snake an arm beneath your lower back, holding your body against himself firmly. the new angle has you mewling his name in the most sinful way.

"you're takin' me so well. like you were made for this cock."

your head's lolling to the side as you fall to pieces beneath him and he can feel himself getting close. "look at me when i fuck you, baby."

you do as he asks, his hips stuttering when he sees the tears of pleasure swimming in your eyes. "you're mine, aren't you? tell me you're mine."

your pussy clenches around his cock so tight it's almost painful. "i'm yours, 'toru. all yours."

"fuck, that's my good girl. gonna cum for me again, hm?"

you nod up at him meekly, too far gone for words, but he doesn't seem to mind this time.

"'i'm close too, sweetheart." his fingers reach down to rub circles on your clit, eliciting a throaty moan from you.

you feel your stomach tighten and you're nearly there, but you don't go over the edge until he begs, "can i fill you up? want to so bad."

you can't find the strength to respond, so you hope the way you tighten your legs around his waist and claw at his back is answer enough.

your head rolls to the side once more, your vision going fuzzy around the edges. he grips your chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning you to face him. "please, baby. wanna see you when i cum—"

he hums your name through a choked moan, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he reaches his own high. he collapses on top of you, laying there for a moment before pulling out and rolling onto his back beside you.

no words are shared, both of you trying to catch your breath and slow your heart rate. the silence gives your mind a chance to wander, which is never a good thing.

you consider the fact that gojo's never kept a girl around for more than a week or two— that this probably meant way more to you than it did to him. you sit up feeling stupid and wrap your arms around your chest.

you look around the room in search of your panties, his cum running down your thighs when you stand up to grab them. it's not until you pull them up your legs that he opens his eyes. he props himself up on his elbow, furrowing his eyebrows when you pick up your dress.

"what are you doing?" he asks curiously.

"well, i figured i should go back to my room—"

"what, are you crazy?" he gawks at you. "get your ass back in this bed."

you approach him shyly, your apprehension clear to him. "i mean, you can if you want, but why would you go back to your room?"

"i just didn't know if you... you know.."

"no, i don't know." if you knew him any less, you might think he was intent on torturing you, but it's clear to you that he's genuinely confused.

you sigh. "i just didn't know what this meant for us."

"baby, i didn't think i could make it any more clear." he sits up to grab you by the wrist, tugging you onto his lap and wrapping his arms around your waist. "i'm all yours, so you're stuck with me." he tries to mask the nervousness in his voice when he asks, "is that okay with you?"

you nod, hiding your face in his neck. "took you long enough."

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