fun fact please know my arc with sephiroth is literally enemies to maybe-lovers 👍

Always remember Pillarmen-lovers and followers alike, no matter what you like to wear or what you like to put on your body; you are absolutely stunning! 😍😍😍 You rock those tattoos, piercings, whatever you wear; wear them with your head held high! 😇🥰😘 Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

The Pillarmen with a Female s/o with tattoos (who also gets unwanted comments about them)...

(Under the cut for length!)

Kars:

• At first, Kars doesn't quite understand the exact appeal of tattoos.

• Sure, some of them admittedly looked nice and they were art in their own respect, but they were also known to be quite painful for Humans not to mention they were something very permanent to put on the body...

• He doesn't really understand why someone would go out of their way to get something so gaudy imprinted on their skin.

• You'll have to forgive him because when you're first getting to know him as he openly looks down on you for having some of your own; especially since you're a Woman.

• He states that you should treat your body like a temple and not "graffiti" it with something so "manish" and "distasteful" which you of course simply shrug off.

• You've heard this enough times to not care.

• However, after you give him some time and he's heard any stories you happen to have behind your tats or perhaps once he sees how truly harmless it all is, he comes around.

• Kars comes to realize that they're just another piece of what made you "you" and he supposed that you could be into far worse things than just simple pictures drawn on your skin...

• Besides... he has to admit you look very beautiful with them.

• From that moment on, if anyone happens to say anything negative about your ink, he puts haters and nay-sayers alike in their place.

• "You know, it's not very ladylike to have tattoos." You could feel the sneer of the Woman behind you as she let her poisonous words drip off her tongue but you didn't turn around.

• This wasn't the first time this happened and it was better to pretend you didn't hear.

• Kars, on the other hand, didn't miss a beat. "It's also not very ladylike to make bitchy comments but it appears that would just be your whole personality." He commented, cocking an eyebrow at the now gawking Woman from over his shoulder.

• You couldn't contain the snort of laughter that burst forth, Kars smiled softly as you clung to his arm with a wheeze. The offending Woman didn't make anymore comments.

• Kars was sure that if he could open his mind to see the beauty of tattoos and learn to accept them, others should do the same.

Esidisi:

• Hands down, Esidisi absolutely ADORES your tattoos!

• He thinks they're a beautiful form of art to display on the body and that they are something definitely to be admired.

• Most especially since they're on you!

• Even from the first time you two met, he wanted to see every single one you had and hear any stories you happened to have behind them.

• Even if the stories happened to go along the lines of "I got really drunk with some friends and--"

• For quite a while he's wanted to get tattoos of his own but never really found the time, not to mention something worthwhile to get.

• Millennium ago, tattoos were in fact quite time consuming to get done (they required not only a steady hand but the patience of a Saint as well) and he couldn't waste much time when on the hunt for the Aja afterall.

• However, once introduced to the modern tattooing art and with lots of time to spare, you were what inspired him to step up and finally get a few of his own done!

• What he really wants is to get his arms covered in intricate patterns and pictures.

• In fact, Esidisi is the kind of person to want to get a matching tattoo with you or at least one with your name somewhere on his body.

• Of course, he does not stand for anyone saying anything hurtful or negative about your own tats.

• "Hey!" The yelling of the guy calling out to you from his truck as you walked down the street instinctively made you freeze for only half-a-second. "I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos, bitch!"

• His words made an ickyness swirl up from your gut to your throat. Though disgusted, you kept your face carefully neutral and tried to keep walking.

• Those kinds of deragatory comments just weren't worth the effort of fighting back.

• Esidisi, however, wasn't one to stand back and let someone disrespect you like that.

• "Yeah? And maybe somebody would actually fuck you if you had some, dickhead!" He called back, grinning as the guys mouth immediately snapped shut.

• The Pillarman's quick clap-back was enough to make a huge smile stretch across your face; only fueled by the massive hand wrapping around yours as you both kept walking.

• With Esidisi around, you would never have to waste time or energy on derogatory comments ever again.

Wamuu:

• Wamuu had only seen these "tattoos" a handful of times in his life.

• He was well aware of the art and the practice took to create them but never had them done on himself or seen the action up close.

• The very few times he had seen tattoos on someone, it was for battle purposes.

• Most often worn by great Warriors who had fought many fights and had them done to commemorate victories won or even lives lost.

• Upon meeting you and spotting your ink, Wamuu was immediately under the impression that you were a Female Warrior (a rarity) and wanted to know everything about the tapestry of "victories" on your skin.

• "This tattoo, what is its symbolism? Was this to commemorate a fight? Battle, perhaps?" He questioned, a calloused finger poking you softly in your flesh as he spoke.

• You could only blink stupidly, not quite sure what he was going on about. "Wamuu... that's Hello Kitty."

• When you explain to him that your tattoos hold no great "symbolism" or "battle tributes" it takes a while for him to wrap his head around it.

• People nowadays did this... for fun? Simply "because"? Sometimes they did it to show love or appreciation to something?

• It was a strange phenomenon but he eventually finds himself nodding his head in understanding.

• If anything, even if it isn't for a Warriors devices, he finds all tattoos unique and something to behold.

• He even starts thinking about getting one of his own simply "for fun".

• What he still doesn't understand is why there are so many people who were so closed minded concerning these things, especially towards Women like yourself.

• He doesn't appreciate it when people are rude or disrespectful to the things you like; this being no exception.

• "Ugh! You should really cover those up!" You turned your head to find another Woman pointing accusingly at one of your tattoos, an ugly scowl etched into her face. "I shouldn't have to see something so distasteful!"

• You opened your mouth, prepared to tell her to mind her business and keep going about your own when suddenly Wamuu appeared right behind her. The massive man sternly pulled a bag right over her head, completely covering her face.

• "If you do not like the look of them, then perhaps you should simply cover your eyes, Human!" He growled, leaving the rude lady to try and pull the bag off her head as he took your hand and proudly walked off with you.

• Now if only everyone could live that philosophy, life would truly be peaceful for you. Until then, you were just happy you had Wamuu to spread those words of wisdom for you.

Santana:

• Upon first meeting you, your tattoos intrigued Santana more than anything.

• He had never really seen anything of the like before encountering you.

• At first, he thought that they were simply a born pigmentation to your skin. Perhaps you were a different kind of Human alltogether? Did this hold some sort of direct link to your kind attracting a Mate?

• If the latter by chance, he had to say it was working.

• You couldn't help but laugh, watching as he traced his fingers along the shapes and pictures of your ink; he was absolutely mesmerized by the artwork stretching across the canvas of your skin.

• This was definitely MUCH more preferable than someone looking down their nose at you for having them.

• However, once you explained to him that you had them physically drawn onto your skin with ink and needles it only intrigued him more.

• He wanted to know everything about these "tattoos" including just how they were done and why exactly some people took time to get them.

• This resulted you dragging him along to a tattoo parlor so he could watch and learn first hand; which then lead to Santana getting his first tattoo shortly after on his thigh.

• "Aww, now what's a pretty girl like you doing with something so ugly like that on her skin?" The lady behind the counter who was ringing up your items smiled almost sickeningly sweet as she spoke, making you only want to roll your eyes even more.

• Oh boy, here it comes. You just couldn't walk to the store to get a bag of chips and a drink without someone making a comment, could you?

• "You know, not a lot of men like those on a pretty girl, sweetie." She continued, as if unable to see you had no interest in what she had to say what-so-ever. "Maybe you should think about that if you ever want to find someone decent, hmm?"

• Santana's wild head of hair appeared out from behind the chip rack as she spoke, lips twisting as his eyebrows narrowed. He approached the counter with a huff, snatching the bag from it as he full on glared at the cashier.

• His eyes fell onto your bare skin, to the lovely shapes and colours that sparked all these unwanted comments. "Her skin is beautiful." He said, before his eyes fell onto the cashiers bare skin, his lips only pushing further downwards. "Your skin is boring, primitive."

• The look on the cashiers face after he said that only made your snacks taste even sweeter as you sat cuddled into the Pillarmans side back at Home.

Well since you specifically asked: Twiddler

“Yah I like Eddie but he’s straight // BAD LUCK, HUH?”

“No he’s not”

“NO IM NOT??”

Shenanigans

I’m dying right now, the ol’ Harv(ey) stubbornly thinks that Edward fucking Nygma is s  t r a  I g ht love it.  Still one of my fave convos we’ve ever had.

==================

Eddie’s POV

 =====================

It had been about a year since he had joined the sort of halfway home that Bruce Wayne had opened up for Ex-Rogues. However Eddie was somewhat convinced the billionaire he now realized had been Batman the whole time (pfft, he totally could have figured that out… he just… hadn’t…) rather liked having he, Harley, and Harv(ey) as a sort of odd band of roommates. And well… a literal mansion wasn’t a bad place to stay in by any stretch of the imagination.

He certainly had expected (and been quietly and not so quietly jealous) that because Harv(ey) and Bruce had apparently been close as far back as when they were children, Wayne would certainly be ecstatic to have Two-Face hanging around. He still was a little bit taken a back that well… anyone would want him around.

But he really was trying to reform. Maybe part of it was because the routine had gotten boring and he’d started finding more quiet and less destructive games and puzzles more entertaining these days. Besides, he realized he could have more fun with such things when he wasn’t being hauled back to Arkham because he’d taken things a little too far so often.

That being said, he had a new focus, a new goal.

And that was the previously mentioned Harv(ey) Dent. The giant, the absolute unit that towered over him.

Two souls for the price of one. Harvey was quietly intelligent (though sometimes a little bit delightfully oblivious), kind, and soft. Then Harv, he was bold, had a wonderfully fun fashion sense, and had a gravelly voice that admittedly caused Eddie’s mind to pull a blank at times.

They were a man that could have half their face burned to a crisp with acid and still be the only man that had been in Arkham (in Edward’s opinion) that could really get it.

He still remembered the first time “two-face” had been escorted into Arkham, the sight of them had knocked the wind right out of him, completely stopped his plotting for his next attempt to outsmart Batman.

Sure, perhaps he had heard and sort of seen images of Harvey Dent, the famous distract attorney that had been nicknamed Gotham’s “white knight” on the tiny, crappy TV they were occasionally allowed to watch when they were let out of their cells. But that never did him justice.

Seeing him here? Up close?

What a man. A handsome man, carved by angels and blessed by the devil

Now if only he could get Harv(ey) Dent to notice him.

Since that day he’d tried time and time again under the hope that maybe just maybe… this giant of a man would consider a relationship of sorts.

He tried to impress them with his vast intellect, sitting close to him and going off about any fact or subject he happened to know. He then tried to drill Harvey about his knowledge as a lawyer (which he thought also might just be interesting to know). They were certainly a good listener… and Harvey warmed up to talking about legal jargon and the pains of law school with Eddie eventually.

He was able to talk to Harv about their mutual love of fun patterns and bright colors and agreed that anyone who dissed it just didn’t understand fashion. He also realized soon that Harv loved to talk when he was acknowledged, and Eddie was more than happy to encourage him to and lightly swoon at that voice.

However, they were still only on a ‘good pals’ basis.

Which maybe Eddie could have accepted, except he caught Harvey staring at him at times, smiling slightly whenever Eddie would talk about what interested him. And Harv, he had gotten Harv to laugh a few times.

There was something there, he knew it, but for some reason he couldn’t puzzle out, Dent wasn’t acting on it.

It continued to this day. Harley had suggested to Edward he simply outright tell Harv(ey) Dent he was interested in them. But that wasn’t fun or interesting, and certainly not as romantic as Eddie would like.

So, after years of frustration now, he decided he’d go to the one person who had known Harv(ey) Dent their whole life for advice.

 ============

Bruce’s POV

============

“So, that’s my dilemma.”  Edward finished, pushing up his glasses in a very matter-of-fact way.

Bruce sighed. The only person who had ever rivaled his own stubbornness and… stupidity when it came to others having an romantic interest in them, was in fact Harv(ey) Dent. This would no doubt be difficult.

He wasn’t even sure how he managed to get into a relationship with Clark and Diana, so he wasn’t sure how much of a help he’d be trying to get Harv(ey) and Eddie to pair up.

“I’m decently sure he’s interested in you.” He replied.

“I’m quite sure too, however nothing I do seems to get them to do anything.” Eddie expressed, looking completely exasperated.

“hrrn....” Bruce grumbled thoughtfully. “What have you tried so far?”

“Well… I’ve given them gifts, flowers seemed like a sure-fire method- yet he seemed to somehow take them as a platonic gift.”

Bruce stared at Eddie for a long moment. “Who gives flowers platonically?”

Eddie shrugged.

Bruce sighed. “Dammit Harvey… Harv…” He mumbled under his breath. “I could try talking to them, get some better idea of what’s going on their head, could be Harvey and Harv keep arguing on how they want to respond.” He suggested.

Eddie nodded thoughtfully. “That may be the case, that is a possibility I had not considered… thank you for your assistance batma….. ah… Bruce…” He corrected with a slight grin.

Bruce half smiled back.

Batman was on the case.

====

“So… Harv…. Harvey…” Bruce began wandering over to where they were sitting.

They were seemingly switching between drinking a hot coffee and a Frappuccino.

Harvey had complained more than once that because of their disagreements Harv ended up making them consume way too much sugar. Too much caffeine in this case it seemed.

Their eyes flicked over to him.

“Hi Bruce.”

“What’s up Pretty Boy?”

Bruce sat down across from them. “Eddie seems to be interested in you.”

Never hurt to be blunt with a lawyer.

Harvey snorted. “That’d be nice… he is really cute but…”

“I’m sure Eddie is straight, just our luck, right?”

Bruce had never been so shocked in all his life.

Straight?

Eddie…

Straight?! E d  d I  e.

Str a I ght, Edward Nygma E Nygam s t ra ight

The two concepts being put together caused a complete error in Bruce’s mind that was slowly beginning to fry.

Who could possibly conclude that Edward was s t r aight?

The riddler…. The riddler who for a while greeted Batman like he was lowkey interested in a literal love-hate relationship

Edward

Str a I ght.

“Are you… fucking kidding me?” Bruce ended up stammering before he even realized it. “He’s not… at all!”

Harvey blinked at him a few times in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

Bruce gaped at them. They couldn’t be serious.

“Harvey… I… Harv… he… he’s not exactly subtle about it. In fact he’s very open, very much out and proud, flaming even. I’m sure he’d agree.”

Harvey looked at Bruce through squinted eyes. “Are you sure Bruce?”

“Sure, maybe he’s a bit more flashy than your average guy, but that doesn’t mean gay.” Harv added with a shrug.

“He calls you handsome at least 3 times a day.” Bruce said still staring at Harv(ey) like they were absolutely insane.

“Lots of people do.”

“Have you ever seen him even flirt with any women??” Bruce asked in disbelief.

“No but… well there’s always been more men in Arkham, and when do you even have time for that?”

Bruce was somewhere in-between wanting to laugh at them and slap them.

“He’s given you flowers.”

“Pretty sure he’s just being friendly.”

“Friendly…” Bruce wheezed.

This conversation was taking years off his life at this point. He shook his head and texted Edward.

“Get in here (the living room downstairs) It’s important”

Edward slid in and sat peppily down on the couch with Bruce within a few minutes, causing Harv(ey) to look between Eddie and Bruce in confusion.

“You rang Mr. Wayne~?” Eddie asked with a cheeky grin as he leaned his head against his hand.

“You know what these men just said to me?” Bruce began folding his hands together.

“Bruce nooo…” Harvey pleaded.

“No no, I think he should know.” Bruce insisted.

Eddie raised his eyebrows comically high. “Well don’t keep me waiting, what’s the tea?”

Bruce cleared his throat. “They said… they’re sure you’re straight.”

Eddie stared at Bruce for a minute, eyes widening.

“Me?” He asked completely baffled.

Bruce nodded.

Eddie threw back his head and laughed until his face turned red and he had trouble breathing.

Harv(ey) looked on stiffly, feeling as if they had made a mistake somewhere as the dawning realization slapped them in the face.

 ============

Harv(ey)’s POV

===================

It was bad enough they had put themselves in denial so far they had missed out starting something with the small bean-pole riddle-man much earlier…

But now because they had convinced themselves Eddie was straight and therefore could have no interest in them… Eddie and Bruce were refusing to let them live it down.

And Bruce seemed to have gotten literally everyone in on the joke. Anyone Bruce hadn’t told between his partners and his massive family, Eddie had told.

Harley had begun kissing Ivy in front of them while they both traded off saying “no homo tho” between kisses until Harv(ey) groaned and left the room in a huff, leaving them both laughing maniacally.

Eddie had begun dramatically entering a room with a flourish announcing “Ladies and Gentlemen, Guys, Gals, and Non-binary pals, the straightest man alive has arrived, you may all start the party.”

Even when they first slept together, Edward had started quietly laughing and mumbling about “how straight, and very much not gay at all this occurrence was.”

Bruce hadn’t been able to look at them in weeks without breaking out into a full on belly laugh at his expense, mumbling something along the lines of “The Riddler, st r a I ght, good lord...”

On one hand they were happy Bruce was laughing more but god dammit…

They felt a bit dumb about it to say the least.

“How did we ever think Eddie was straight?” Harvey thought to himself.

“I don’t fucking know. I really… really… don’t.”                                                                                          

Well… maybe giving everyone a little levity while still being able to date a cute red-head that seemed to know the strangest facts about almost everything that they could enjoy listening to him babble about for hours happily…. Was all worth it. Even if they were embarrassed by their comically stupid brand of denile.

I'm bored.

I'm continuing with that Tagatha rework I made little while back, the one where Tedros is with Sophie even though he starts having feelings for Agatha.

We start off where we left off last time, but with Tedros and Sophie in their Surviving Fairytales class. She kicks her apologizing into overdrive and states she had panicked and didn't want to be indecent, going as far as to say she had gotten some bruises and cuts she didn't want him to see.

He nods and fakes a smile, telling her to drop it so they can just go back to how they used to be, since that's all she wants.

A little too much salt for her liking, but she hugs him and promises to be the best girlfriend he's ever asked for.

Agatha sees this exchange, and Tedros look at her with a look that says, 'There. Happy?' She mouths back, "Thank you."

If this were a movie, we'd see Tedros roll his eyes and smile back, but frown as he and Sophie join the rest of the class.

TIME JUMP TO TEDROS AND AGATHA'S SHATED CLASS!!!!!

Everyone's being good little students and taking notes or working on their assignments in a mostly quiet classroom, mostly because there's the scratching of quills on paper, the chirping of birds, the blowing of the wind, rustling of trees, and maybe some humming from Dovey as she sits at her desk. I'm not sure what she's doing, but it's keeping her busy enough to not notice Tedros and Agatha's whispered conversation, which goes as follows. Remember, they're whispering, and Dovey is right in front of them:

"I get wanting to keep your friend happy, but why'd you REALLY want me to talk to her?"

(Agatha keeps writing necausr she wants her lost points back, the ones she lost from 'helping' Sophie) "Shh!"

"Agatha."

(Agatha uses Ignore, which doesn't seem to be very effective.)

(Tedros uses Poke) "Agatha."

"Do your assignment."

(Tedros shows her a full, complete paper as he smiles.)

(Agatha glowers at him, quickly checks on Dovey, and keeps writing her paper.)

"What's Sophie ever done for you after all your favors for her? Aside from being your friend?"

"Let me work."

(Tedros leans back in his seat and thinks back on their conversation from the other night, about how she misses home and Sophie is possibly the only friend she has. He also remembers that they're both Readers, how Agatha asked how someone could talk to the School Master, and Agatha's claim that the two of them met the School Master. With all that, he puts the pieces together, and the final result makes him a little sad.)

"You think she's my true love, too, huh?"

(Agatha stops writing for a second before continuing, eyes locked on her paper.)

"And you think that if we kiss, you'll get back to your village?"

(Agatha nods this time, finished with her paper.)

(Tedros is silent as well for a while. The students turn in their papers, one after another, and Tedros catches Agatha just as she comes back from turning hers in.) "Do you really think you'll be happier in your village instead of here?"

"Tedros, Agatha, since ypu two have takem a liking to each other, would you mind sharing your conversation with the rest of us?"

(Both almost jump out of their skins when Dovey speaks up, and soon all eyes are on them, especially a jealous, angry Beatrix, a confused but encouraging Chaddick, and Kiko, who blushes and stares at Agatha.)

(Agatha starts fretting over the attention, but Tedros, for once, has her back.)

"I had a hard time with the assignment. Since Agatha's so smart, I figured I'd ask her for help."

(The whole class gawks at the two of them, surprised at his kindness towards Agatha, who is staring wide eyed at him.)

(Dovey's stern look changes to one of surprise and then to glee.) "How nice to see you've had a change of heart, dear Prince."

On her way to her dorm, Tedros catches up to Agatha, and walks next to her, repeating his question before Dovey cut him off.

The only answer she gives him is, "I'll know when I'm back home," and a door in the face.

Tedros gives a smile. It's not that she's playing hard to get, he just wants an answer out of her. And he's starting to like this down to Earth, real girl.

And she NEVER said she would be happier back home.

IT'S THE NEXT DAY IN SURVIVING FAIRYTALES! ANOTHER FINDING GOOD CHALLENGE! RULES: 6 EVERS AND 6 NEVERS WILL BE DISGUISED AS ROSES OR TULIPS. THE FIRST TO FIND AND CORRECTLY IDENTIFY A PERSON ON THEIR SIDE WINS!!

Tedros listens to his heart completely and is the first to find a disguised Agatha.

Both win the challenge.

Agatha is surprised.

Sophie is a little pissed.

She's even more pissed when the nymphs kick her out of the Ever line at lunch and sees Tedros not only ignore her, but walk toward Agatha and Kiko.

"Is it okay if I join you two?"

Kiko immediately responds, 'yes,' and Agatha makes room for him.

Sure, Kiko has a crush on Tristan, but she's a little more interested in Agatha and Tedros; if she's failing, at least Agatha will have herself a date for the Snow Ball.

Tedros is silent as they eat, Kiko and Tedros making small talk and trying to include Agatha. It eventually leads to one of them telling a joke that makes Agatha laugh, and Tedros and Kiko seeing a softer side to Agatha, one that CAN laugh and be beautiful.

She stops after a little while and remembers Tedros's question, which makes her frown.

Now that she has a friend that is actually nice to her, amd is starting to somewhat have a good time in her school, Agatha can't help but wonder if going home would really make her happy.

She avoids him and Kiko for about a week ,taking her assignments and homework and then locking herself in her room.

It also doesn't help that Sophie's been avoiding her and yelling at her because, "she's stealing her prince, and ruining her fairytale. If she had the chance, she'd throw Agatha off the bridge between the two schools for ruining everything in what was supposed to be her Happily Ever After and her life as a whole. She's nothing but a cruel, evil, ugly witch, and she wishes she'd left Agatha to rot in her house on the hill in the cemetary." There's more, but you get the point.

To get in on the "being nice to the witch train," and to try cheering her up because she heard Sophie going off on Agatha(Tedros ALSO heard this, but pretended to ignore it. You'll see why later), Beatrix tries coerce Agatha into a makeup and gossip session with the other Evergirls, even letting it slip that Sophie has been talking shit behind her back more than she thought and it might be good for Agatha to spill the beans and get it all out.

She gets a clump thrown at her face for this.

Agatha's silent in Good Deeds, after almost two weeks of hiding away in her room, though does have to fight a mini giggle fit as Tedros acts silly behind Dovey's back, i.e. waving and 'psst'-ing to get Agatha's attention. He doesn't get caught.

Agatha shakes her head and ignores him, tired from crying and just wanting to stay in her bad mood.

With a challenge accepted, in his mind, Tedros tosses some crumpled up notes her way, five to be exact.

THIS gets him caught, and a week of clappong chalkboard erasers.

These are the notes he tossed to Agatha in order:

'Sorry if what I said made you upset. Still, would you be happier here ir back home?'

'Kiko's nicer to you than Sophie. Just saying.'

'Please stop ignoring me (insert sad puppy face doodle)'

'Meet me in the hall after everyone's asleep, around ten or eleven. We have to talk'

They meet and Tedros, covered in some chalk dust, asks his question a third time.

Agatha snaps with, "I don't know!"

It silences Tedros, even as Agatha goes off on a very tearful and flustered rant about how she WANTS to go home, but doesn't want to leave Sophie behind, because she's Agatha's best friend, or, admittedly, Kiko, because she's super nice and didn't want to see her fail. She hadn't fully had a good time at school, but it has been enough for her to reconsider going home a little bit. She misses her mother and knows she's probably worried sick, even though Callis is probably just anxious about hearing Agatha's adventures in Evil. She wants to go home, but doesn't want to leave Sophie behind, as she's in danger in Evil.

She's worried about her mother back home, but is a little more worried about Sophie's safety.

Tedros states it shouldn't matter because of how Sophie's been treating her.

Agatha only responds, "She's the only friend I have. I don't have anyone else."

Tedros sits next to her and almost holds her hand, but falters, sort of getting that even though they're not insulting each other, they're still not THAT close yet. "You have me. A-and Kiko. Is... that enough?"

Agatha awkwardly wraps her arms around his neck and keeps crying, muffling the sound in his shoulder.

Tedros returns her hug and rubs and pats her back, telling her to let it out and that it's okay, she's going to be okay.

In his heart, he makes his decision in who he might love more.

The next day, while Agatha's sitting alone, hidden from the sight of anyone, hiding really well somewhere, Tedros asks Sophie if they can talk alone.

They go off into a small clearing away from everyone else, Sophie smiling and happy to possibly get her prince back and Tedros sullen and quiet.

He asks her if she cares about Agatha, mentioning all the things she did in order for the two of them to be together and kiss, which should send them home.

Sophie brushes it off by saying Agatha is a liar and never keeps her word.

"Funny. That sounds more like you than anyone else."

Sophie snaps that Tedros that he shouldn't care about Agatha because she isn't his true love.

Tedros counters with a question: Does Sophie REALLY love him? If she did, then why hasn't she told him more about Gavaldon, her family, even about her basic school life? Even better, what's the REAL reason she didn't she help him in the trial?

Sophie doesn't have an answer.

He apologizes and says that the two should just stay with their respective schools, even apologizing that he couldn't help get her or Agatha home.

Sohpie tries callimg him back, but he ignores her and starts looking for Agatha.

It takes him a WHILE, but he eventually finds her.

Apparently she's a better observer than he could imagine because she is sitting perfectly balanced in a willow tree.

"What do you want now?"

"I was just wondering if you needed a hand, but I don't think you do."

"Anything else?"

"The mates have practice later, and I still have detention. Are you doing anything at sunset?"

Agatha blushes and says no, and then admits she can't get down.

Tedros holds out his arms, Agatha slides and falls off the branch she's on, and lands safely in Tedros's arms, leading him to notice some climbing bruises on her legs.

"Come on, let's go to class."

"You're just doing this to get out of detention, aren't you?"

Tedros smiles and shrugs. "Your shoes aren't tied. I don't want you falling flat on your face."

This was part 2 of the Tagatha Touch-up AU!!! A bit longer, but kinda worth it. The ending was a little cheesy, but I hope you guys liked this! I had a good time with this, it's fun being cupid☺️!

Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed!!

A Very Colin Christmas - Colin Shea x reader

Ch.4 - A Holy Jolly Christmas

ch.1  ch.2  ch.3

a/n - hey lovely people!! here’s the fourth chapter, and a reminder that tomorrow there’s no chapter and friday will be the last one, so happy Christmas eve eve to those who celebrate, enjoy!<3

Summary: Slowly but surely, you discover why Colin was so apprehensive about having his family over, and also realize something you should’ve realized long ago...

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: curse words, angst if you squint

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The next day, it was the morning of Christmas eve, and you figured you should do some grocery shopping before stores close down for the holidays, so you put on your clothes and headed out of the apartment, locking the door behind you and turning around to –

"Good morning," Eleanor was standing in the threshold of Colin's apartment, the morning newspaper in her hand.

"Good morning," you answered with a smile you hoped didn't look too fake.

"Who lives there?" she asked.

"Just, uh… my friend," you shifted uncomfortably. "I um, this morning I got a text to… come help her, and now we're done and it's still pretty early so I figured I wouldn't bother you. I was just going home to change."

"Alright, we'll see you later I assume," she stated.

"Of course," you smiled awkwardly and went down the stairs as quickly as you could. Once you were out of the building you started heading to the shop, and as you were walking you pulled out your phone to call Colin. He didn't answer, and you sighed in frustration before putting your phone back in your bag. You hoped he had enough sense to handle it on his own.

While you were shopping, there were some interesting developments at Colin's.

"Colin," Eleanor barged into his room and opened the curtain. "I think your girlfriend is cheating on you."

It took his foggy brain a second to register her words. "What?"

"I don't think you can trust her," she crossed her hands on her chest.

"Good morning to you too," he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Colin, I'm being serious, I-"

"I know mom, let me just wake up for a few minutes and we can talk about it, alright?"

"Fine," she said, her lips drawn into a thin line and left the room. Colin sighed groggily and went to get dressed and brush his teeth. He didn't know what the fuck his mom was talking about, but he sure as hell was going to stall as much as he could without knowing.

When he went into the kitchen, she was there. Obviously.

"There you are! So this morning I went out to bring the newspaper."

"Anything interesting in it?" he asked as he started making himself a coffee.

"No, but listen to this – when I was in the hallway the door opposite opened, and guess who came out? Your girlfriend, Colin. It was your girlfriend."

It took all of his willpower not to burst into laughter on the spot. Instead, he frowned. "What did she say?"

"That her friend was living there and needed help. But I'm not buying it," she shook her head. "She looked very suspicious."

"Well, she's telling the truth mom," he smiled. "Her friend is living there. She introduced us, actually," he lied casually.

"Oh," Eleanor frowned. "Okay then."

Only when she left Colin could allow himself to snicker into his coffee. That was close.

When you came back with your groceries, you prayed Eleanor wouldn't see you, since you couldn't excuse that away if she had. But thankfully, the hallway was empty, and you let yourself into your apartment without any more awkward encounters.

You shot Colin a text asking him when he wanted you to "arrive" at his place, and he said that in about an hour or so. That gave you just enough time to take a long shower and almost forget about the morning.

An hour later, fresh out of the shower, you knocked on Colin's door. Eleanor opened the door, and she smiled a tight-lipped smile as she ushered you in.

You both sat down in the living room, Colin and his dad nowhere in sight. You assumed they were both somewhere in the house and simply didn't hear you arrive, but you thought asking where they were was maybe a little tactless as Eleanor led the way to the living room, sitting down seemingly eager to talk to you.

"So," she started, "how did you and Colin meet?"

"Oh, um," you fumbled over your words for a second trying to come up with a convincing story, "I met him at a gig of his. I thought his music was great and when we got to know each other I realized how great he was himself," you smiled.

"Really? That's funny, because Colin told me your friend from across the hall was the one who introduced you…" she trailed off in an unsaid question.

Your heart was racing as you tried to keep up with your lies, but you didn't let it show. "Well, she actually did. She was the one who brought me to see his show that night. When she told me her neighbor was a musician I was a little skeptical, but we both had a great time. After the show she took me backstage and introduced us, and the rest is history," you channeled your relief into a smile.

"Grilling her already, mom?" Colin said from behind you and you resisted the urge to sigh in relief as he came to sit beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

"We were just having a conversation, son," she chuckled.

You chuckled as well, trying to diffuse the tension. "Yeah, I was just telling her about the night we met, when we were at that gig of yours."

"Oh yeah, it's a cute story," he smiled at you.

"When are Andy, Laurie and Jacob coming for dinner?" you asked in an attempt to change the subject before it gets awkward.

"They should be here at around six," Colin replied.

"Oh, you know Andy's a lawyer, right?" Eleanor asked you.

"Yes, we talked about it last night," you chuckled embarrassedly.

"Ah, of course! Anyway, I'm just wondering why his brother here doesn't follow in his footsteps," she reached forward as if sharing a secret with you. "You know, if you ever want to start a family, a steady income is very important."

"Well, we haven't even moved in yet, Eleanor," you were getting a little pissed now. "I'd say I have no say in what Colin chooses to do or not do, right?"

"Of course, I'm just worried about my little boy," she smiled at Colin and he returned what looked more like a grimace than a smile.

"You shouldn't be," you said, "he's wonderful," you looked at him and smiled genuinely.

"Awww, thank you," he said playfully, and you giggled.

"You two are such a cute couple," William, Colin's father said as he entered the room, sitting next to Eleanor.

"Yeah, you are," she agreed with him.

You and Colin just smiled at them. You didn't know what he was thinking, but what you yourself were thinking terrified you. I wish we were.

Soon enough everyone was there and you could start on the Christmas dinner, which was mostly courtesy of Eleanor and Laurie but at least Colin provided the venue. While you were eating, they were all talking amongst themselves, which left you plenty of time to think things over.

The thing was, while you had initially agreed to all of this, you just thought of it as a favor to a friend, nothing more, and now you were starting to realize just how… magical denial was. Because even in Colin's family was kind of annoying, apart from his admittedly hot older brother, Colin was surprisingly un-annoying for the last couple of days. He was actually being really… sweet.

It was the last thought that truly sent you spiraling. Because knowing Colin can be this sweet made it all the more bitter that it wasn't true.

Before, you could just tell yourself that Colin Shea wasn't really capable of love. That he wasn't ready. But now that you were seeing him like this, you knew that wasn't true, it couldn't be. No, the agonizing reality was – he can love. He just didn't want that, and certainly not with you. He had every opportunity to start something with you – hell, even just a one night stand – and he didn't. Sure, he flirted and joked around, but when it came down to it, you knew what Colin Shea seriously flirting looked like, and it never once happened with you, and you were sure of that.

Because if he really tried, deep down you knew you would let him succeed.

The food in your mouth suddenly became too dry, and you gulped down some water to steady yourself.

After dinner, everyone sat down in the living room to watch a Christmas movie. You and Colin sat next to each other on the couch, and you were trying to concentrate on the film when his hand wrapped around your shoulder. Nothing too bold.

You tried to hold your concentration, but then he started drawing patterns on your shirt, running his hand along the covered curve of your shoulder and all together with your thoughts it was… just too much.

"You know what guys?" you said after a few minutes, "I think I should probably go. I'm just pretty tired, I'm sorry," you said as you left your chair.

They all just kind of stared at you, and you didn't blame the after that out of the blue statement. All you knew is that you needed out of here.

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@drarrymicrofic prompt: remake

not gonna say much on this. yall should find out what's going on yourselves :D. ao3

“What do you think, Mr. Malfoy?”

Draco doesn’t need to think; he’s done enough of that in the past two months, since the day he opened his front door to see the strange woman’s sharp smile. But he thinks anyway, one last time before he answers.

He’d have to leave the wizarding world behind. Of course, it doesn’t have to be that drastic. However, if he doesn’t want his frequent disappearances to catch the Ministry’s attention, then it’s best to withdraw into the Muggle world altogether, as far from its control as possible. Mother has Aunt Andy, Teddy, and friends from her book club now, she’ll be fine with him visiting only a few days each year.

Other than that, there are no downsides. He has nothing to lose except maybe his life somewhere down the line, but everybody dies at some point, don’t they?

He lifts his gaze to the buzzing light on the ceiling, its shine cold and apathetic. To the mahogany bookcase, filled with tomes upon tomes full of ancient rites and rituals, of creatures considered ‘cryptid’ even to wizardkind. To the bookend that is shaped like a crow, which flaps its wings when its beak is tapped five times, unlocking the hidden safe behind the bookcase. The safe that stores all the actual research and data he’s collected, jealously and fearfully hoarded.

He doesn’t know everything, but he knows enough. He knows enough to be aware that the lore Pansy snorted at when he first mentioned them, the creatures Mother dismissed as another of her bored rich son’s new obsessions, are the same ones Unspeakable Granger narrowed her eyes at when she walked past his table in the canteen and caught a glimpse of his notes. He had a feeling then that he shouldn’t even make any indication that he was interested in these things, which was proven to be correct when Ministry personnel started loitering outside his office more after that day.

He doesn’t know everything, but he knows his findings are not safe in anyone’s hands but his. The Ministry still repeats its tendency to care more about itself than the common people. The Department of Mystery, practically its own entity due to how even the Minister is forbidden from accessing most of its files, has motivations he can’t comprehend, which means motivations he can’t predict. There is no way to know if his colleagues are truly interested in “that old wife’s tale, that Bigfoot, Cthulhu shite Malfoy’s into” or will report him to those who know how to deal with him, to Unspeakable Granger, to the Department of Mysteries. His findings are not safe in anyone’s hand but his.

But if he says ‘yes,’ they are.

Draco dips his quill in the ink bottle the woman—“Dr. Stewart,” she’s introduced, calm and sure—provided him and signs his name on the contract and its related documents. No hint of anything other than indifference is shown on her face, and he wonders how many others before him has she recruited.

Once his thumbprint has been collected, the last step of the process, he Vanishes the ink on his finger. Dr. Stewart raises a brow but says nothing more. She stands up, holding out a hand.

“Welcome, Dr. Malfoy. The SCP Foundation is glad to have you with us.”

Shaking her hand, Draco feels something slide into place at his new title. He smiles politely, heart thundering in his chest.

“Have you worked with wizards before, Dr. Stewart?” Draco asks as he starts packing the valuables at his work desk into his briefcase. Dr. Steward has come to the Ministry by Floo, and though she seemed a bit disconcerted after stepping out of the Ministry Public Floo #13, she didn’t hesitate to follow him to his office. Thus, seeing her reaction to a simple Vanishing spell has certainly been a bit strange.

Dr. Steward gathers the documents to secure in a folder.

“My colleagues have—some of them have Muggleborn and Halfblood relatives—but not me personally,” she answers. “My apologies, I still need to get used to seeing magic in… this way. Ironically, we have more luck with magic users from other dimensions than from our own, especially with what happened in recent history.”

The Second Wizarding War ended barely a decade ago. Its victims, both people and nature, still bleed. “I can see why you aren’t very keen on interacting with us up-close these days,” Draco nods, careful.

“Precisely,” Dr. Stewart says. “So, believe it when I say you’re the exception.”

Draco stiffens. “Thank you. I’m sorry, it’s still a bit hard to, ah, believe that.”

“You are the exception,” she says. “We need professionals in the occult, especially those who dabbled in the Dark Arts along with other types of magic. Not many wizards of your kind in Great Britain remember the Original Gods and Old Magic, but you have that link, whether it be through honest religious belief or just intensive research.”

She crosses her legs. “We’ve had our eyes on you for a while, Dr. Malfoy. We need someone who’s willing to look for the oddity in the mundane, and when our people heard rumours of the infamous Malfoy heir having a—highly accurate, by the way—fixation on conspiracy theories and cryptozoology, visiting various parts of the world in pursuit of those ‘tall tales,’ we knew we need your intellect.”

Draco doesn’t quite know what to say. He was sure everybody thought him unhinged; even Luna seemed off around him these days instead of enthusiastically rallying after his theories like she usually would, gradually gravitating toward Granger whenever they’re in the same room.

“Our goals are different; the SCP Foundation wants to keep humanity safe and alive, you want knowledge and just knowledge. But I hope you find yourself in your element while working with us, finally having access to all the information you’ve been working so hard to find out.”

She tilts her head just so, and Draco can tell she knows he likes what he’s hearing. His thirst consumes him, makes him risk, makes him sin. He has to go insane to stay sane. Despite the small price of most likely dying from working with dangerous anomalies at the Foundation no matter how pretty Dr. Stewart advertises it, every cell in his body sings at the chance to know what is lurking beyond the folds of reality.

He thinks of Mother, of Aunt Andy, of little Teddy, of Pansy, of Blaise. The vision of them killed, maimed, snapped from existence because he didn’t do anything to help makes his gut twist, his throat parched. He’d kill himself from the guilt, a well-casted Sectumsempra. He decides.

His goal is no different than the Foundation’s from now on, and he has no qualms about that. With this opportunity, he is free at last, free to do the work he knows is important, to help and change without outside interference.

He is reborn.

Draco’s back straightens, and he moves his wand this way and that, orchestrating a cacophony of tomes and devices to levitate from the heavy bookshelves to the duffle bag he brought along.

“Dr. Malfoy, did I not tell you where you’ll be stationed?”

Draco halts the objects’ action mid-air, staring at Dr. Stewart.

“I was under the impression that I am to be working at Site-91,” he says, “in Yorkshire?”

“As I thought, I forgot something,” Dr. Stewart sighs, the first sign of human imperfection leaking through. She searches through her briefcase, long nails clicking through the files. “Sit down, please, and there’s no need to pack up your belongings.”

Sending the objects back to their original places, Draco takes his seat, brows furrowed. He toys with his wand, a tick he hasn’t been able to be rid of ever since Potter’s returned his wand after years of what seemed to be perpetual emptiness without it.

“There we go,” Dr. Stewart says and flips open a thick, stapled stack of paper. “You are to stay here for the duration of your first assignment. Count yourself lucky, starting work right away.”

“Stay here? But—”

“There is an anomalous individual working here,” she says, hard lines etched on her face. “You will act like you’ve not changed your career and continue to ‘work’ in the Ministry. Because of your proximity, we expect you to gather as much information as possible about him. You can use any method, as long as you stay alive and well to report back to us and receive your salary. Not to worry, we will assist you as this individual is, like most of what we deal with, deadly when pushed.”

She slides the file toward him and settles back against her chair. Draco is admittedly no less surprised than before.

“Wake up and get ready by 6 AM this Saturday, for we’ll come to get you at your house and go to Site-91. There are other information and protocols you need to know, and you’ll also get the equipment suited for this assignment,” Dr. Stewart adds.

Draco has a few questions, but from the way she ends with a close-mouthed smile, he reckons any at all would be regarded as idiotic. Well, at least she told him something.

With a slight sigh, he opens the file. The peculiar layouts and code words fly past him—he’d have to ask for a manual of some kind, Muggle science-y terminology has never been his best suit. However.

“What,” he breathes, leaning close to the file, eyes wide, “what is he—what is—”

However, there are two words he can’t mistake, no matter how sleep-deprived he is or how blind. A name, in fact.

“What is Harry Potter doing in this file?”

“Isn't it obvious?” Dr. Stewart asks, lacing her fingers on her lap. “Think. His lifelong exposure with the Dark Arts and artifacts, how volatile and explosive his power is, and most importantly, how dangerous he is even to the brightest magic users. There’s a reason why we don’t meddle with your kind. You already have the means available to contain certain anomalies, but Potter is different, and we have to step in this time.”

Draco stares at her, then at the name in the file, at the picture attached, slack-jawed.

“The oddity in the mundane, Dr. Malfoy,” Dr. Stewart leans forward, a knowing look on her face. Draco's legs feel like wooden trunks, sunken into the ground. "Get used to it, and get focused. Because if left unchecked, Harry Potter might very well get powerful enough to become a reality bender."

(1 of 3) Mittens, I know you're more of a 'what is on the show' than the 'what is around the show' but I was wondering if you had some more resources or information regarding something; i keep seeing here and there people talking about the show that Cas took on Anna's role (that Anna was supposed to become more important/the angelic guide/the love interest but because of the better chemistry the writers switched the roles around and "gave" cas what was to be Anna's role)

(2 of 3) That seems to be a common statement coming from a lot of fans/meta writers. I know I have parroted that as fact in my early days in the fandom as well. But when I actually went looking for actual sources for that theory, I came up empty. I find lots of people talking about it as given fact/gospel truth, but nothing for direct sources. It’s not in the Nicholas Knight season books, I haven’t seen any interviews or magazines that have TPTB talking about that.

(3 of 3) Admittedly I only got into the fandom in the s12/s13 time period, so missed so much of the early meta and interviews and things and it’s possible my Google-Fu has failed in finding where there is clearly sources for this. So, do you know if there is any veracity of this refrain that “Cas took the role they had originally planned for Anna’ theory? Thank you!

First off, HI! :D

Second, you’re correct. I think at this point it’s some awful game of telephone, that somewhere down the line there was a post detailing how the narrative actually handled it with a sort of tl;dr-- Anna was originally created to be a sort of “information key” for the Winchesters, a guide to open up their understanding of Angels via one that had also experienced humanity first hand, you know? But instead of giving her that role, THEY ALREADY HAD MULTIPLE EPISODES WITH CASTIEL and by the time Anna appeared, FANS HAD ALREADY BONDED TO CAS, and rather than expanding Anna’s role and killing off Castiel (whose only purpose at first was to rescue Dean from Hell and ensure the Winchesters participated in what Heaven needed them to do...), they chose instead to expand Cas’s role as an already established character via Anna’s introduction.

Anna WAS ALREADY ENTRENCHED IN HUMANITY HERSELF. But Cas? They could send Cas on a similar journey of discovery, and demonstrate that process of an angel truly falling in love with humanity, showing us how he came to the realization that heaven was corrupt, his mission had been corrupt.

Anna... could never have been THAT.

The show would’ve been fundamentally different if they’d actually killed Cas off and installed Anna as their guide to Heaven Stuff. It would’ve been a lot more “telling them how bad Heaven was” or “how controlling it was” or whatever, and way less struggle to understand and overcome. Even if she remained human, she would’ve been an information dispensing machine in ways that Cas could NOT be without having endured a similar journey for himself. And that.. would’ve been boring and preachy and weird.

And they decided VERY EARLY in the writing of s4 that Misha as an actor and Cas as a character, and his exploration and education about humanity and heaven was the story they wanted to tell. So if anything, Anna was merely one of the keys that unlocked that potential for Cas. I don’t even know if Anna wasn’t created SPECIFICALLY TO SERVE THIS FUNCTION FOR CAS. But that seems most likely to me.

Like... they decided that they would expand the character of Castiel to allow us to learn about angels, about Heaven, and the profound lack of understanding the angels harbored about Free Will and Love and Humanity. But they needed him to begin questioning his orders, to start opening some of those “doorways to doubt” that would allow him to feel emotions. And angels, as they were created, weren’t supposed to be able to do that. So THEN they created Anna to demonstrate that, while excruciatingly painful, and one of the “worst things” an angel could do according to Heaven, an angel COULD become human, could experience these human things, and actually CHANGE. That was her function. I don’t feel that she ever had any other intended role in the story than to show Cas that there might be another way, a bigger truth, that he had to discover for himself.

If Anna had remained and Cas had died, *we the audience* would never have seen this process for ourselves. There wouldn’t have been any struggle over it. It would’ve been an entirely different story. Unless Cas had instantly and unproblematically chosen to become human, or to throw in his lot with Dean after 4.10, there was no way for him to take over Anna’s story. Though there had been potential for Anna to have taken a bigger role in the narrative if they’d decided to go that route after Cas’s initial run on the show as “Heavenly Advisor on Angel Stuff to the Winchesters.” But by the time Anna ever even showed up, the writers had already decided they were Team Cas, and I don’t think there was ever really a serious consideration to replace him with her.

And like... that’s not how stories work, either. They’d already established Cas as a character in 4.01. Anna’s introduction was in 4.09. If anything, they may have briefly considered giving a bigger role to Anna, but it would’ve defeated the point of a lot of storytelling they’d already done building up Cas to the point they’d already chosen to take him, even by 4.09. Cas was already being Demoted By Heaven in favor of Uriel, who was much more willing to press Heaven’s agenda than Cas was. Or at the very least, as of 4.07-- an episode where Uriel was only there supposedly as a “specialist” to handle the specific task (or threat of the task) of smiting the whole town-- Uriel was installed to keep an eye on Cas and Cas was no longer ordered to interact with the Winchesters without “supervision.” And supervision that came with the “specialist in smiting” level of threat attached to it.

Cas was already beginning to doubt, to waver on the plans, and Anna just helped push him over the edge by 14.16 (and unmasked Uriel’s duplicity and Heaven’s unreliability). So. Once those earlier episodes had already been written and in process of being filmed, there was no erasing that story they’d already started telling.

tl;dr: they didn’t “give anna’s role to cas,” they created anna to show him the potential of humanity, and unlock the possibility for him to go on this journey we’ve been watching for the last 12 years. I have no idea (despite having been around a bit longer than you, but still only lurking in fandom meta spaces since s7) how that has morphed in fan dialogue into something that makes so little sense as to break reality... >.>

Turning Pages - Chapter 6

Intrulogical bookshop au! Read the whole thing on ao3 here.

“Roman, that’s no fair! I called dibs on the car days ago!” Remus argued, chasing his brother down the hall.

“And I told you! Virgil and I are going to the mall, so I need it!” Roman replied, dodging Remus’ attempted swing when the other got too close.

“Well it’s your fault for breaking your own dumb car!”

Remus had been waiting for this day since he had somehow miraculously gotten Logan to agree to go on a date with him. Logan, the uptight nerd from the bookshop with a jawline that could cut glass and eyes Remus wanted to be waterboarded in. He had texted the number on the back of the receipt immediately upon getting it. A simple ‘hey itz Remus ;-3’ to which Logan replied with perfect grammar and punctuation. Gah, he could be in love. They had gone back and forth about their plans for the aquarium and Remus had promised to pick Logan up. Then the conversation turned to other things and Remus got to know more about Logan other than the fact that he was gorgeous. He liked astronomy (which is different from astrology apparently),  he drank his coffee black, and he had been working at the bookshop since he was sixteen. Remus had never committed to anything that long, that was insane. For every question he answered he asked one in return and Remus couldn’t remember the last time he’d held someone’s attention that long in a positive way that wasn’t Janus or Roman.

Roman, who was currently trying to sabotage their date it would seem by putting his own first. Remus had to resolve this quickly or he’d risk being late to pick Logan up.

“Roman, you know how pumped I’ve been for this. I’m taking the car,” Remus argued, watching Roman pluck the car keys off the hook and fully getting ready to pounce on his brother.

“Take your bike! You have options, I don’t!” Roman replied, holding the keys away from Remus.

“Fine! Fine. But you so owe me a big one.”

Roman cheered at winning the argument as Remus plucked the keys to his motorcycle off the hook and headed out to the garage, grabbing his jacket on the way. It might have been hot as hell outside but the aquarium could be chilly plus he never rode without his jacket. He shoved the helmet on his noggin and grabbed a spare for Logan before zooming off to the address his date had given him. It was an easy enough to find building, balconies lining the outer walls and large brass numbers over the front door. Remus parked his bike and pulled his helmet off, finding L. Berry on the doorbell system and pushing the appropriate button.

“Hello?” Logan’s voice answered after a while.

“Your noble steed awaits, Specs. You ready?”

“Ah, yes. I’ll be down in just a moment, Remus.”

Remus went to go lean against his bike, resting his helmet on the ground so it didn’t get knocked off. It really was just a moment before Logan emerged from the building’s front door causing a smile to break out on his face. The nerd walked over and Remus opened his arms for a hug to be met with a hand extended for a handshake. He laughed and went for that instead.

“We aren’t going on that...are we?” Logan asked, eyeing the bike warily.

“Ro totally hijacked the car this morning,” Remus explained. “You’ve never ridden one before?”

“No. Motorcycles are highly impractical and-” “Lemme stop you there,” Remus said, handing Logan the spare helmet. “It’s not as dangerous as you think it is. All you gotta do is hold onto me nice and tight and before you know it, we’ll be at the aquarium making kissy faces as the fishies.”

“That’s not generally how I spend my time at the aquarium...is that how you spend your time at the aquarium?” Logan questioned, taking the helmet hesitantly.

“Sometimes, yeah,” Remus laughed, sticking his own helmet on and getting onto the bike, motioning for Logan to do the same.

Once Logan was on and he felt long arms secure themselves around his waist Remus headed off to the aquarium. He looked in the mirrors every once in a while to check if Logan was okay and after about a mile of panic the other seemed to relax a little bit and almost looked like he was enjoying the ride. The only thing Remus didn’t like about this was that he didn’t get the chance to converse with Logan, but there was plenty of time for that once they got to the aquarium itself. Besides...silence was a pretty good payoff for having Logan hugging him from behind. It wasn’t a terribly far ride to the aquarium and they were there quite quickly.

“See? That wasn’t so bad was it?” Remus asked, getting off first and holding out a hand to help Logan do the same. “And now you can check that off your bucket list.” “No...it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be,” Logan admitted, accepting the hand offered to him for help. “Though I do not have a bucket list, I don’t think riding a motorcycle would be on it. I never had any desire to do that before...but it was rather exhilarating…”

“You use a whole lotta fancy words, Specs. I like it.”

Remus held out a hand for Logan’s helmet to secure it on the bike with his own. He thought he almost saw the hint of blushing on the other’s cheeks but that could have been the summer sun beating down on them. Logan didn’t have sunglasses like he did, just his regular ol’ glasses.

“I got a membership to this place so I’ll get the tickets, they’re free with it,” Remus said as they walked into the large building, the lighting inside much darker and slightly blue tinted.

“I’m a member as well, actually,” Logan replied. “I’m a member of all educational facilities in the tristate area.”

“Oh be still my beating heart...cute and a member at the aquarium? You’re really turning out to be the whole package here, Logie.”

Logan opened his mouth like perhaps he wanted to protest the new nickname or that he wasn’t any sort of package, but the duo was called up to the ticket booth before he could. Remus went ahead and asked for two tickets anyway, flashing his membership card and getting two stickers to show they had been cleared for admission. He stuck his own on his chest before sticking Logan’s on his tie and moving them off the line and towards the first set of tanks.

“So...you wore a tie to a date to an aquarium, huh?” Remus asked, starting up conversation as they looked at the colorful fish swimming around.

“Oh- yes,” Logan said, looking down at his now stickered tie. “Admittedly, I did have to research how to dress for a date and the articles I read mentioned ties. I wear them often so I thought it was the best route. Was I not supposed to wear a tie to the aquarium?”

“No, no. You can wear whatever you want, Lo. I was just curious,” Remus assured, pausing a moment. “You had a look up what to wear for a date?”

“Well, yes. I, ah...don’t go on very many. Or...any...”

“Aw…” Remus cooed, gently nudging Logan’s shoulder with his own. “Then we’ll make this a good one.”

The two of them walked around, pausing to look into the different tanks. Remus coulda sworn he almost saw a smile on the other’s face at some of his enthusiastic bouncing. Turns out Logan had a whole lot of fish facts to share and Remus eagerly listened, sharing a few of his own though they weren’t as cool as the ones Logan shared. When they got to the archway tank a shark swam right overhead of them and Re excitedly pointed it out, the pair stopping to watch the shark swim around for a while. Shockingly the aquarium wasn’t too busy on a Thursday afternoon, only a few groups of camp kids in brightly colored matching shirts. Finally they got to Remus’ favorite exhibit.

“Look!” he said, grabbing Logan’s hand and pulling him over to the octopus tanks. “God- aren’t they fuckin’ awesome…”

“You’re quite fond of octopuses, aren't you?” Logan questioned, nodding to the tattoo on display on Remus’ arm since the other had cut the sleeves off of his shirt at some point.

“I really couldn’t tell ya why...I just think they’re neat,” Remus explained, smiling when Logan pointed out his tattoo. “This octopus is actually here! He’s somewhere in this tank but y’know, camouflage and all.”

“You got a tattoo of one of the octopuses from this aquarium?” Logan asked for clarification, his eyes going from Remus to the tank in an attempt to find the creature in question.

“Yeah, Duke. When I was like twelve or somethin’ I won a raffle to name their newest octopus. I made the poor nanny drive me here like every day so I could see him.”

“That’s actually...quite nice.”

“Oh! There he is,” Remus said, pointing out a small bit of movement in the sand at the bottom of the tank. Now that they knew where to look it was easy to spot the octopus. “Did you know octopi have three hearts? Oh! And blue blood.”

“I did know that, but it’s very interesting,” Logan nodded. “They also lack bones and are quite intelligent.”

“They’re just so cool!”

They stood and watched Duke the octopus for a long time, swapping facts about cephalopods. The octopus eventually did move and Remus was able to show off the similarities between the creature in the tank and the tattoo on his arm. The resemblance was striking. Eventually they moved on, continuing to talk about they fish they passed until they ended up in the gift shop.

“I always loved the gift shop of museums,” Remus said, moving over to browse a rack of postcards. “It was almost like a reward for making it through the boring stuff.”

“You didn’t seem to find the aquarium boring,” Logan stated.

“Oh, yeah. Aquariums don’t count. I just...don’t like museums as much. They’re cool and all - especially the art museum that has all the medieval armor and weaponry - but no one will go with me because apparently I’m too loud for museum culture.”

“I quite enjoy that museum actually,” Logan said. “Perhaps we can go there together. I do have a membership.”

Remus thought he was gonna vibrate from excitement. Logan had just asked him on a second date, right? That’s what had happened? He gave an enthusiastic nod, his eyes catching on something along the wall. Ties!

“Oh! Oh, wait here,” he said, running over to the display.

Sure enough they had a few different designs. Remus immediately fell in love with a navy blue tie that had a green octopus towards the bottom. He pulled it off the rack, not bothering to check the price and moved back to show Logan.

“I’m gonna get this for you,” he said, holding the tie up.

“Wha- Remus, no. You don’t have to do that,” Logan replied. “It’s a very lovely tie, but you don’t need to buy me a gift.”

“I know I don’t need to. I want to...so I am.”

“I’m not going to be able to convince you to put that back, am I?”

“Nope.”

“Very well,” Logan nodded. “Your turn to wait here.”

Remus did as he was told, looking over the rack of postcards again. He found one with an eel on it and picked one up to give to Janus. Eels were like water snakes, right? Janus did love his snakes. Not too long after he walked off Logan came back with a small stuffed octopus in his hands.

“I’m going to buy this for you,” Logan said. “Is that- is this something you’d like?”

“Lo, I will literally cherish that for the rest of my life,” Remus grinned, bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement. “Hell, I’ll be buried with it.”

Logan’s shoulders seemed to relax a little bit at Remus’ approval. Remus moved over to the register, flashing his membership card again for that wonderful 10% off he got as a perk. Once he was done Logan got rung up, showing his own card.

“For you,” Logan said, holding out the stuffed octopus.

“And for you,” Remus replied, exchanging the tie for the toy. “Y’know...all this walking around the aquarium has me heavily craving some coffee. You game?”

“I- yes. I would also appreciate some caffeine right now,” Logan nodded.

“It’s no Remy’s place, but there’s a cafe like a block away, c’mon,” Remus said, grabbing Logan’s hand again to lead him away from the aquarium and towards the sidewalk.

The coffee shop was much busier than the aquarium but the smell of roasting beans was pretty much divine as soon as they walked in. The seats inside were all full but there were a few spare seats outside that hopefully wouldn’t be snagged before they got their orders in. The two of them continued to chat during the walk and while waiting on line. Remus placed their order, getting a black coffee for Logan and his own personal drink which he liked to call the Gamble With Death.

“Surely that cannot be good for your heart,” Logan stated after hearing Remus say eight shots of espresso.

“It hasn’t killed me yet,” Remus shrugged. “If it ever does I promise to let you know.”

“How would you let me know? You’d be dead?”

Before Remus could think up an answer for that his name was called out and he went to go grab the two cups, handing Logan his. They grabbed a table outside and Remus stuck his new octopus in the middle of the table.

“He needs a name,” he said, gesturing to the stuffed toy.

“It does?” Logan questioned, sipping his coffee.

“Of course he does!”

“You could perhaps go with a nod to H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu and name him that,” Logan suggested.

“Hm...I like that, I like that,” Remus nodded, getting an idea. “Cthuwu. Y’know, like ‘uwu’?”

“Tell me if I use this wrong but, ah...cursed.”

Remus broke into laughter at that, assuring Logan that was the right context but it was more the delivery that caught him off guard. Apparently Virgil works with Logan to get the adorable nerd up to date with modern slang. The guy had flashcards which Remus absolutely needed to see now. They stayed at that cafe table long after their coffee cups had been drained, until suddenly the sky was a mass of pinks and oranges.

“Ah, shit. I totally kept you out longer than I had promised,” Remus said, stretching in his chair.

“Oh,” Logan looked up, blinking like he had just been pulled out of their little personal bubble. “Yes. I should probably get home. I do have work tomorrow and I have my nightly routine to keep up with.”

“So...organized,” Remus grinned, standing up and tossing his empty cup into the trash bin. “Then home we go, Logie.”

Logan stood up as well, discarding his cup and following Remus back to his motorcycle. Remus was able to fill any void of silence by running his mouth. He was currently telling Logan about the first time he took Janus on the bike. He hadn’t been too fond of it. Remus handed Logan his helmet and stuck their purchases in his side bag, before long they were back off towards Logan’s apartment.

“Y’know, Lo...I had a lot of fun today,” Remus said once the engine was killed and they were parked by Logan’s front door.

“I...actually did too. You were certainly a wonderful companion for the aquarium,” Logan replied, handing back his borrowed helmet. “Thank you for not letting me die on the back of the motorcycle.”

“Nah, Specs...I would never let someone as cute and clever as you die,” Remus winked, pulling the tie out of the side bag and sticking the helmet in there with Cthuwu. “I’ll see you around, yeah? I’m almost done with that book you recommended.”

“Oh? I’m so glad you’re liking it,” Logan grinned, books seeming to be a topic he rather enjoyed talking about. “Well...I’ll start building a list of recommendations for you.”

“Absolutely cannot wait,” Remus returned the other’s smile, pausing for a moment before taking a step closer and kissing Logan on the cheek. “Bye, Specs.”

He shoved the helmet on his head and sped back home after making sure Logan made it inside alright. He looked a little dazed after that kiss on the cheek which was just so damn adorable. Remus was absolutely on cloud nine. Now he got to go home and gush about it all to Janus over the phone.

TAGLIST:

@theiwatobiicepic

Viktoria frowned and crossed her arms in front of herself. “Tyler, leave the seagulls alone.”

Tyler grinned cheekily as he tried in vain to wave her off. “Mr. Boss said to bring something back from the beach for him!” Viktoria shifted her weight and glanced over her shoulder in Tegan’s general direction, but it was immediately clear to her that he wasn’t going to be any help whatsoever in this sort of situation.

“You and I both darn well know that he didn’t mean the wildlife!”

 Tyler pointed at her. “He didn’t specify. So, there is still a very slim but entirely probable–”

Viktoria threw her arms up in the air. “Dude.” “Do it for the meme,” Tegan called from under his frowny-face umbrella.

Victoria turned and looked straight at him for the first time that day, hands resting on her hips. “Where did you even find that thing?” Tegan shrugged nonchalantly. Well, as nonchalant as one can be while sweating to death, at least. “The internet.”

Viktoria sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, then directed her attention towards the mock volleyball court that Raquel, Alistair, and Axel had set up. Axel and Ellie were up against Raquel and Alistair, and it was not going very well for the former team.

On Viktoria’s opposite side, Tadashi seemed lost inside his own little world as he drew a large square in the sand with a big stick, then started writing in large block letters underneath it. “D...E...T…”

That was clearly going to take him a while, and she was already bored watching.

Tegan shot Tyler a look that Viktoria couldn’t even begin to decipher, but she could tell it meant something meaningful.

Tyler began loudly heckling Axel, mocking his (admittedly lackluster) volleyball playing style from what he probably assumed was a safe distance away.

“I hope your vocal warmups aren’t as weak as your physical warmups are, AHAHAHA– OW!” Tyler was cut off abruptly via an inflatable beach ball to the face, courtesy of a smirking Axel.

Tyler snatched it out of the air with his hands before it had a chance to fall and raised it above his head, then ran straight towards him with a battle yell.

The smirk quickly disappeared off of Axel’s face, replaced by a scream of “SHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII–” that completely drowned out Tyler’s voice as he started running down the beach, both of them being deliberate in their avoidance of Claire’s very elaborate sandcastle, of course.

Viktoria raised an eyebrow. “That’s a very impressive lung capacity right there. And here I thought ‘singing on a treadmill’ was just an exaggeration.”

Tegan ran a hand through his hair and muttered something under his breath that Viktoria couldn’t quite catch. Something about someone owing someone, perhaps? Viktoria grinned to herself at the mental image of Tegan as a mob boss.

Karolina and Neha relaxed on lounge chairs a good few yards away and pretended not to know any of them. Neha took a long sip of her iced lemonade as she sketched out ideas for a swimwear line while Karolina thumbed through a magazine, protected from the sun’s harsh rays under an umbrella, a very fashionable floppy hat, Guccy sunglasses, and three layers of 100 SPF sunscreen.

Speaking of which… “Did you at least put some sunscreen on?” Viktoria turned and asked Tegan suddenly. He fell silent, then gave her a guilty smile. “That would be a no.” Viktoria sat down beside him and pulled a brightly colored tube out of her tote bag despite Tegan’s protesting.

Axel and Tyler ran by, still screaming at the top of both their lungs as they went right on past Tadashi’s…

“DETENTION DUNGEON,” Viktoria read aloud.

The beach ball must have gotten lost somewhere along the way, as Tyler was now just flailing his arms around above his head as he chased Axel.

Viktoria blinked dumbly. “Huh. Interesting. I guess old habits die hard.” She shook her head and squeezed a generous amount of sunscreen into her palm, then moved to apply it to Tegan’s arm.

Tegan gasped as the cold cream made contact with his uncomfortably warm skin. “You uh, you really don’t have to fuss over me like this...” Viktoria grinned as she slathered it up and down the length of his arm. “Awwh, but I want to, though.” She set to work, watching Tadashi out of the corner of her eye.

Tadashi scooted over to the ‘entrance’ of his detention dungeon, then started drawing what seemed to be some very elaborate puzzles and traps.

Viktoria paused and sat back on her heels, squinting. It was difficult to tell where exactly the sunscreen ended and Tegan’s pale skin began.

“What exactly is Tyler going to do if he catches Axel, anyway?”

Tegan rolled his eyes as the corners of his mouth turned upwards. “Well, you know the four F’s? Axel’s doing one of them right now, and then two out of the three remaining ones are… take your pick.”

Viktoria groaned and smacked her forehead against the armrest of Tegan’s chair. “Tegaaan!” “Viktoriaaaa!” Tegan whined back, matching her tone.

Viktoria raised her head and grinned suddenly as a thought struck her. “Hey, do you think Tadashi would throw people in his detention dungeon for PDA?” Tegan nearly fell out of his chair as he sputtered, barely coherent. “I– What– are you– I mean, he– you mean like–” “Because Ellie and Alistair have been making googly eyes at each other all day,” she continued, seemingly oblivious.

Was that a hint of a genuinely relaxed smile on his face as Tadashi added an extra leg to his manticore? Maybe it was a trick of the light.

Tegan took a deep breath to steady himself and sank further into his seat. “You are going to be the death of me, Viktoria.” He pulled his hood up over his head and covered his face with it, the corner of his glasses getting hooked on the fabric in the process.

“You… have a T-shirt... with a hood attached to it?” Viktoria asked incredulously, eyebrows raised.

Tegan stuck his bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout and crossed his arms, the effect only enhanced by his askew glasses. “Don’t judge me.”

Viktoria smiled as she moved from his left side to his right. “Well, at least it’s on-brand.”

Tegan lifted his hood to pull it back just enough to uncover his eyes and fixed his glasses. “So, what, I’m predictable now? I gotta change things up a bit.”

Viktoria motioned towards Tyler and Axel. “You could go join them, nobody would expect that.” She involuntarily cringed as Axel’s scream went shrill and went just sharp of the high C.

“Ugh, exercise. Never mind, I’ll stick with predictable.”

Tegan rolled his eyes again and wiped the palms of his hands on his shorts. “Lovely weather we’re having,” he said sarcastically.

Viktoria slowly inclined her head. “I don’t want to pry or come across as rude, but…” She trailed off, electing to stare at the crook of his elbow instead of his face. “Why are you out here instead of inside with the sweet, blessed air conditioning if you hate it so much?” She glanced up to gauge his reaction.

Tegan’s mouth twisted to the side as he avoided looking straight at her.

“...An hour of pure torment is paradise if I’m spending it with you.”

Viktoria inhaled sharply. “Tegan, I…”

Oh no, She thought to herself, not emotions and feelings! Not here! Not now!

She racked her brain for a fast and simple way to deflect. “If Axel ever decides to rebrand as darker and edgier, you could totally be his songwriter.”

“Like, what,” Tegan gestured grandly into the air with his arm, “The night sky is dark/just like my soul/and like the full moon/it swallows me whole?” Viktoria squeezed Tegan’s shoulder. “Pure poetry.” Tegan ran a hand through his hair, laughing in disbelief. “I don’t even know what it means!” Viktoria shrugged and shifted her weight. “That’s what makes it so perfect, though. Even if it has no meaning, people will eventually find one, anyway.” Tegan nodded slowly. “Wow. That got deep.”

Just then, Axel and Tyler came running by for the second time and collapsed on the sand, panting heavily.

“I’m,,, never,,, doing,,, that,,, again,,,” Axel gasped, arms wrapped around his middle.

“Me,,, neither,,,” Tyler agreed, nodding weakly as he stared straight up at the crystal blue sky.

“Okay, that dragged on for way too long.” Tegan stretched his arms above his head and let out a satisfied groan as his joints cracked loudly.

Tadashi’s head snapped to attention. “WHO BROUGHT FIREWORKS?!”

“Ooh, Tadpole’s gonna throw you in his detentsand,” Viktoria teased, resting one arm across the back of his chair.

Tegan pointed with his pale, ridiculously slender index finger. “Out. Get out.”

“I just—“ Viktoria started.

Tegan shook his head vigorously. “Nope nope nope, that was too horrible.” His glasses fell off. He retrieved and replaced them as nonchalantly as he could, which was difficult since he dropped them back onto the sand twice during the process.

Viktoria wandered over to the volleyball court, palms turned upwards. “Looks like I’m booted, so–” “Oh, good.” Ellie grabbed her arm. “We need another player to balance the teams, since–” she gestured vigorously at Axel and Tyler, who looked like a couple of stranded fish.

Viktoria grimaced and shied away. “Oh no, I’m terrible at all sports.” Ellie placed her hands on her hips. “Do you run away from the ball when it comes toward you?” Viktoria shuffled her feet, reluctant to answer. “...Yes, except for in dodgeball, because that’s an easy out.”

Ellie groaned and threw her head back. “Well, at least you’re capable of running, so there’s a start.”

Viktoria pursed her lips and cocked her head, crossing her arms behind herself.

“That depends on your definition of running. Because ‘moving as fast as you can, which is still not a lot’, is just about all I can muster.”

Ellie gave her a deep frown. Viktoria didn’t even know that mouths and eyebrows could turn like that before.

Viktoria gave a backward glance at Tegan, who seemed to be doing a decent enough job of entertaining himself on his phone. Little did she know, he was most definitely taking photos of her. Tasteful ones, of course.

“Okay, fine, I’m in. What do we need to do?” Viktoria began stretching, then started pulling her hair into a low ponytail.

Ellie offered her a spare hair tie and clapped her on the back. “Win, of course!” Viktoria’s jaw dropped open, almost cartoonishly. “Against Raquel and Alistair?” She shook her head, eyes wide. “I’m just gonna hold you back, hon. This has ‘bad idea’ written all over it.” 

Alistair looked in their direction and shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m open to switching if you want.” “Tired of winning?” Raquel teased, spinning the ball on the tip of her finger. Viktoria watched enviously.

“Nah, but it sounds like you are.” Alistair chugged a bottle of water, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I am very in over my head I’m not competitive at all this isn’t going to end well for me–” Viktoria very much resembled a deer that wandered onto the highway and was now caught in a rapidly approaching car’s headlights.

Claire rose to her feet and carefully stepped over her completed sandcastle and matching sea dragon, dusting the sand off herself.

“I can join in too, if you want? To take the pressure off of it being two vs. two.” She gave her a tentative smile. Viktoria made a noise of appreciation and threw her arm around her shoulders. “You’re the best, Claire.”

Claire pulled her thick hair over her shoulders and smiled down at her feet. “Now we can suck together. Yay?” Viktoria stared at her in shock, then doubled over laughing. “I can’t believe you just said that! You’re not wrong, though!”

Raquel stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled, one fist in the air. “ALRIGHT, PANSIES! HALFTIME’S OVER! LET’S GOOOO!”

“Y’all are going down!” Ellie bounded over to the other side of the net, game face on.

Alistair placed his hands on his knees and planted his heels in the sand. “In history, maybe!” He hollered back, then to his teammates, “Don’t let them intimidate you, they’re all talk.”

The fire in Raquel’s eyes and the way Ellie pounded her fist into her opposite palm said otherwise.

Claire and Viktoria shared a tight-lipped, ‘we are doomed’ glance.

Claire reached over and weakly touched her fingertips to Viktoria’s. “That’s our team high-five,” she whispered.

“Dream tea–” Viktoria started to whisper back, but was rudely interrupted by Alistair’s shout of “BALL!”

Viktoria flailed her arms outwards. “Ack!”

Claire shielded her face as it headed in her direction. “Eep!” Raquel threw her arm out to the side, palm flat. “OUT!” She called, gleefully.

Viktoria scrunched up her shoulders and reached over to tap fingertips. “Yay, Claire! You got it over!”

Claire returned the gesture, eyes shining. “Dream team!”

Previously On Supernatural Season 3, we had a really rock solid trio of episodes to kick us off right, so what does SPN do next? It’s gonna lay the groundwork for some spicy character development that may or may not pay off by the end of the season. Let's find out!

To be honest, I felt the next three episodes just sort of plateau? There’s enough nuggets in these three eps - “Sin City”, “Bedtime Stories”, and “Red Sky at Morning” - that it does feel like they’re setting up for something big but it’s taking too much time. If the season had been longer, I don’t know that I’d be complaining, because there’s SO much potential introduced with these character developments, but I know it’s gonna get cut off at the knees in the very near future. 2021 Me has been trained on what to expect from a short season, so half of my brain wants to give the show slack for Unexpected Circumstances, but the other half of my brain is shouting YOUR NOT DRIVING THE BUS FAST ENOUGH, YOU’LL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE END OF THE LINE IN TIME!!!

And that’s maybe unfair because there really are some great nuggets in here. We’ve got “Sin City”, which is Dean’s episode. I mean, they’re ALL Dean’s episode, but this one more so than the other two in this post. Dean gets trapped with a demon who turns out to be...kinda...nice? In kind of a Stockholm Syndromey way I guess? She let’s Dean in on the fate that awaits him when his year long contract is up and it is NOT great. This isn’t the first time we see that there’s more to the demons than SPN has shown us in the past (hello, Ruby), but it is the first time Dean chills out enough to actually have a conversation with one. Dean doesn’t really get it, like he’s still not interested in getting out of his deal, but the fear gets planted, it just needs some time to grow. Oh, also, the Colt Ex Machina is back in action, so that's important.

This dumb bitch thinks he can fool us with that devil-may-care side glance but he caaaan't

But then we get “Bedtime Stories”, the Sam episode, where Sam learns...to let go? That’s the point of this episode right? It’s about letting go of someone before that person becomes too toxic and dangerous? At least, that’s the lesson that Dean wants Sam to take away from this case. But Sam will NOT learn this lesson, so instead he tries to cancel Dean’s deal by killing the crossroads demon who wrote it. Spoiler Alert: it doesn't work.

And then we get “Red Sky At Morning”, which opens and closes with some heavy emotional baggage, but then is stuffed full of fun. Like, this episode ricochets wildly in terms of Feelings, but then that’s probably what we should expect from SPN. I mean, what show have I been watching for 3 seasons now?

Fun Facts guys: I’m a tired Millenial, and swapping DVD discs was too much work so I switched over to watching this season on Netflix and GUESS WHAT???? THESE EPISODES COME WITH A SUICIDE WARNING!?!?!

They're not wrong.

And like, if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about this season I don’t know WHAT will. Cuz Dean is absolutely suicidal and I am surprised (??) I guess (???) by how much the show acknowledges that. Or I guess, surprised by how much Netflix acknowledges that. It’s something that I did not...pick up on the first go around on season 3, possibly because I was 19 and I was an idiot and found this sort of emotional vulnerability to be endearing. Listen, I know there’s a lot to be said about the producers of the show making...umm…poor decisions in regards to character developments? But if the target demographic of this show was anything like me - and I suspect they were - then the viewers were also...probably...responding inappropriately to some of those character developments. And here’s the thing - I’m looking at this from 12 years in the future, with 12 years worth of real life drama that makes the heavy handed melodrama of television feel...well, heavy handed. Maybe irresponsible? Certainly a little uncomfortable. Big Me is having A Time confronting Little Me’s taste in TV Characters. It’s one thing to have a kink, Little Me, it’s another thing to romanticize suicidal depression.

And hey, I can’t deny that the character development for Dean makes sense. I actually appreciate that the show is thinking through the world and the relationship dynamics that they’ve built and the toll that these misadventures are having on their main characters. These episodes all get bookended by Impala Fights where Sam keeps pushing Dean to give a shit about his own life and Dean responds with an inability to care. That’s just where he is right now, and I get that. We’re early in the season still. But how will the rest of the season handle this? I honestly can’t remember but I also don’t want this to be a throw-away issue that they use to remind us that Dean’s supposed to die at the end of the season. I’m prob gonna come back to this throughout the season because I ~just~want~this~show~to be~repsonsiblllllleeeeeeeeeeee.

Lol, I know, that’s a lot to ask from the CW.

ON TO MORE FUN THINGS!!

Sam is gettin’ reeeeeallll bitchy in these episodes and #1, I love it, Bitchy Sam 5Ever, but also #2, was this supposed to be the sign that Sam was going darkside? Like, he’s snarky, he’s angry, he’s not pulling any punches and that could just be him reacting to his brother’s situation but it could also be….you know...him...becoming slightly...evil? For instance in “Sin City”, he kills the two demons who kidnapped Dean without even thinking. On the one hand, this is the Winchester MO, they kill demons, that’s their job, but on the other hand, Dean is actively telling Sam to stop. Same deal in “Bed Time Stories” - Sam kills the crossroads demon in cold blood (or maybe viscera). Again, we could blame this on instinct - the Winchesters were brought up to do exactly this - but 1) Dean keeps telling Sam not to and 2) that’s not Sam. This show spent 2 seasons telling us that Sam is the Good Brother, the White Hat, the Touchy-Feely One. This is not the Touchy Feely Sam who reasons with ghosts and falls in love with werewolves. Like, everyone else sees it too, right? Also, he is usually very nice to everyone but he is a REAL BITCH to Gertrude in “Red Sky at Morning.” Like, come on, Sam, she just wants to have a nice time. She is OLD. You really think she’s got what it takes to climb that tree?

Honestly, how tall are this lady's heels?

I know that there was a plan for Sam to start Turning in this season before the show’s episode order got slashed due to the Writer’s Strike. And man, I really would have liked to have seen this play out. Like, first season Sam is the Innocent, right? He’s our stand in for the viewer in those first few episodes and then he’s revealed to be kind of the only thing that went right in the lives of both John and Dean, so Baby Must Be Protected at All Costs. The fact that John ultimately lets Sam go off to college and doesn’t contact him for the next four years says to me that on some level, John felt the need to preserve that innocence, that kind of untouched quality Sam has. Dean is very similar - whenever Sam gets too into the job, Dean calls him out on it. So in the second season when we find out that Sam might be evil, it’s a real punch in the gut, for Dean most of all. But then the show admittedly got bored with that storyline and it didn’t really go anywhere. So whereas Dean has personality in SPADES that fluctuates and changes and develops/maybe just gets more intense as the show goes on, Sam remains that kind of blank slate that the viewer can put their face on. Except now we’re in season three, and if you’ve bought into this show, then you’ve bought into it, so the audience doesn’t need a Blank Slate Sam anymore. And if you start with Sam the Innocent and then introduce the idea of Dark!Sam and then just leave that concept hanging, then isn’t this sort of like Checkov’s Evil Sam? If you introduce Evil Sam in the first act you really ought to deliver on Evil Sam by act three, right? Wouldn’t that have been A+ and Wild? Wouldn’t that have made Sam’s arc and emotional struggles over the previous seasons have more weight?

Will this be resolved in later seasons? Maybe. I’m gonna be honest, this is the last season I watched all the way through and seasons 4 through...like, 8 were real touch and go for me. I know that Sam ultimately is revealed to be a vessel for??? The devil??? And Dean is ultimately revealed to be a vessel for??? Michael??? And then the two of them???? Fight to the death???? Point is, season 5 got weird guys and I’m not there yet.

Back to more fun things! You know what guys?? I think I ship Dean and Bela. I’m...almost ashamed to admit it? Like, I remember Little Me watching this season and just dumping on Bela, I HATED her, but this time? I am 1,000% On Board This Ship. Like, there is an alternate universe somewhere where these two got a spinoff show that ran for 6 seasons and I watched EVERY episode. And then, like, 5 years after it ended, they rebooted it with Dean and Bela’s grown up daughter as the lead and the whole OG cast makes cameos over the three seasons it stays on the air and it’s amazing. I’d own both shows on DVD.

What I like about Bela this time around (and again, I am WILDLY surprised about this development), is that she can dish it just as hard as the Winchesters can. Like, every line Dean throws at her she holds up a mirror to say, “Oh yes, I know the Kettle is black, but what color are you, Pot?” and I’m just continually thrilled. She is also just as damaged as Dean is but somehow channeling it into a healthier way? Like, she’s true Chaotic Neutral, which is not necessarily healthy, it’s just healthier than Dean. Or maybe it’s just that she’s better at managing it. In either case, they are HOT MESSES and I love it. I just love it. I know I complained about shoehorned romances but Ackles and Lauren Cohan just totally crush it in every scene and when Dean walks down the stairs all She’s All That in “Red Sky at Morning”, I yelled at the screen OMG just BONE already!!!!! And then like, 5 seconds later, Bela literally says “We should really have angry sex,” and it was probably the most vindicating moment I’ve had on this ride so far.

I just think they're neat!

WHY did we cancel her? WHY?? I don’t want to believe it was the Wincest again, so I’m gonna pretend that it wasn’t, but it was definitely fans. According to Kripke, Bela gets the axe at the end of this season because of the fan hatred of her. Now, I’ve already admitted that I personally held a grudge, but good Lord, what was wrong with us, as a Fandom? To be fair to me (and all of us), would we have felt differently if we had not been introduced to Jo a mere season earlier?? I'm gonna say yes. Although I had misgivings about Jo the first episode we meet her, by the end of season 2 I was certainly on her side. Working through season 3, I am remembering that, when we were introduced to Bela, I was immediately FURIOUS because WTF, WHERE’S JO? SPN just introduced to her. They just settled on a love interest for Dean and the writer’s just got me on board with that. Now they’ve completely done away with both that character AND that dynamic and you want me to get on board this NEW thing? And be excited about it??? So I'm gonna blame the love-interest-whiplash, combined with the fact that Little Me related my own personal self more to Jo than to Bela, that made me hate Bela in the first place. When you look at how quickly the show abandoned one character to introduce another character, it makes sense why fans got mad, but I’m also mad that we continued to hate Bela when she turned out to be such an A+ Frenemy. It makes me want to shout at the writers through the time void COMMIT TO A FEMALE CHARACTER YOU JAGWEEDS.

What’s wild watching this show now is just how Male it was, especially considering its audience was already skewed heavily female by this point in the series. If you made this show today, I don’t know that you could do that. Today, there’s a real push for balanced, diverse casts in programming, especially in sci-fi/fantasy and young adult. I think if SPN had started in 2021, they would have introduced the Harvell’s or Bela up in season 1, and that introduction would have been much more intentional. The benefit of having a shorter episode count as the standard is that there’s less of the “throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks” approach. Looking at it from 2021, reading snippets of interviews from Kripke, that’s definitely what they’re doing with the side characters in these seasons and you can feel that in Jo and Bela. A shorter season means that the storytelling has to be tighter, it can’t wander, so every decision has to be a load-bearing decision. On the other hand, one of the down sides of having a shorter episode count is the exact same thing - less room to throw stuff, less room to experiment. Heck, Bobby was technically a character they threw at the wall and he didn’t just stick, he became a tentpole character of the series. The only side character that actually made it into the series finale even!

So how much room should we be giving our television programs? I think it depends on the show, honestly. I think you have to decide up front if you want space to experiment, or if you have one, tight, compact story line that’s gonna drive viewers from episode 1 right through the finale without giving them the chance to catch their breath. You have to make the decision, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop making one style of show in favor of the other. Just because we’re in the Age of Streaming doesn’t mean there isn’t room enough for both.

Pride & Prejudice Chapter 9 - Turn Around, “Fine Eyes“

Each week, Catherine reads through an annotated chapter of Pride & Prejudice and shares her thoughts with the interweb until it’s done. Or until she gets sick of Jane Austen. Whichever comes first. This week : Chapter 9.

“Whatever I do is done in a hurry,” replied he.

Another day passes in the Bingley household, where Lizzy waits on her mildly ill sister Jane in the hopes of getting her to bond with the head of the house, Mr Charles Bingley. 

This time, she sends a letter back home to their mother Mrs ‘Name Unknown’ Bennet to get her opinion on Jane’s situation. For the uninitiated, she was the one who hoped so fervently that Jane would have to stay at Netherfield Park when a downpour started, but did not imagine Jane would be caught in it and spend her time there solely in bed.

In any case, she turns up before Lizzy’s breakfast is done with two more of her daughters, presumably there either out of concern for Jane, or to make Mrs Bennet look like an excellent mother somehow. I do wonder how they got to Netherfield, and so quickly. If they took a carriage (and considering the amount of detail put into Lizzy’s walk there, I doubt they had a stroll), then I do wonder why Bingley doesn’t insist they take the bed bound girl home. Perhaps it’s one of those unspoken things, where each party plays by the arbitrary rules for an implied outcome, here being him and Jane growing closer, which is looking unlikely for the moment.

To her credit, Mrs Bennet is described as being “miserable” if she had discovered Jane in a terrible state, so she isn’t all that bad. She slips back into her false pretenses, thanking Jane’s having “such good friends” in the Ms Bingley’s, who have said nothing to her as far as I can tell in the last two days, with some really exaggerated and performative sympathy when out of Jane’s sight. They did give her a room, I suppose, but I feel it was Bingley’s choice more than theirs, what with it being his house.

Talk turns to him alluding to being somewhat unreliable when asked about the short lease on the house. If he decides to, he says, he would “be off in five minutes”. Since this is a romance novel, I doubt I’ll get my wish, but all signs point to Charles having something of a secret life from his business dealings to willingness to leave his home behind in minutes should he need to.

Lizzy chimes in with an admittedly more accurate assessment of him, and is revealed to be so utterly bored with her Regency-era life that intensely scrutinising the behaviours of the people around her is considered “wild”. When skimming through the chapter in advance, I assumed she had gone for a run at the very least. Consider me disappointed. 

As ever, Darcy joins the conversation with a sneer aimed at those who live in the country and their low quantity of “intricate” and “amusing” characters. At least, that’s how Mrs Bennet, proud as ever, understood it. She counters by asserting that the “far pleasanter”  countryside is full of oddballs and eccentrics on a par with those in the town, and how dare he say otherwise! With little luck, Lizzy points out that her mother misunderstood the good gentleman (My, how people change their minds on each other!) and asks if her friend Ms Lucas had been around if only to change the subject. The poor, naive fool. Nothing will stop Mrs Bennet from chatting about the ladies and gentlemen that surround her.

Nothing.

Here follows a little tirade on how Ms Charlotte had to leave early for what Mrs Bennet presumes to be doing the work of servants for the household, despite her father being a knight which I imagine comes with certain perks. She is 20, admittedly. No sooner does she put the entire Lucas family down as “plain” does she lift up her daughters, especially Jane. Even Mrs Lucas prefers Jane over her own children, she’ll have you know.

She brags that when “only fifteen” (looks like there is a line to even her quest to marry people off) a gentleman came around and took an interest in her. To her regret (Um... It was a different time, I guess?), this goes nowhere beyond a couple of sonnets written for Jane by the man, as was the way at the time. Lizzy blames the love failing thanks to a sonnet starving out the “thin sort of inclination”, though I blame it on the child not really being interested in the gentleman, even if she had been prepped to marry one like him.

The evening drags on and it’s time for Mrs Bennet to do the decorum dance with the Bingley’s where everyone is forced to get involved in thanking and apologising most profusely in an “unaffectedly civil” manner, as Austen puts it. Before they go back, one of the daughters that came with her, Lydia, demands Mr Bingley deliver on the ball he promised back when he moved in a few chapters ago. We learn that Lydia is apparently “a favourite” of her mother’s (Somewhere, Jane stirs in her sleep. She will not stand being usurped.), has “wild animal spirits”, whatever that means, that tend to draw a lot of attention to her. He assents gladly and we will presumably follow up on this in good time.

With the majority of the Bennets finally gone (Lizzy stays to keep watch over Jane), the Ms Bingleys are free to critique and pick apart their former guests behind their back. Mr Darcy declines to get involved, and receives a barb from them about Lizzy’s “fine eyes” as he confided in them about last time. Poor fellow.

Thoughts

If this was a bit short, it’s because I read it first  on my phone, where you can’t exactly scribble random thoughts onto the page annotate it

Was Mary/Catherine left out of the visit...or did they not care about Jane?!

No character development today.

Is Darcy going to fall victim to this teasing for the rest of the volume?

Thoughts on the piece? Feel free to let me know what you think - the good, the bad... I’m open to any feedback. And come back next week for Chapter 10, where Jane gets up.

Imagine being V’s love and when he merged back into Vergil, your feelings are conflicted.

A/N: Someone asked about how the reader would react one V returns to Vergil. I responded and got this not too long after. To add onto it, I’m also mixing in @bl00dypalace’s request below as well. Very slight NSFW in the end, but not full-blown smut as a friendly heads up. Enjoy :3

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Vergil: “This is a terrible party.”

You: “You didn’t have to say “yes” to going.”

Vergil: “And leave you with these simpletons? Wasn’t going to happen.”

You had to admit, the party was a bit of a drag. Not because it was boring, in fact, the jubilee was rather lively and upbeat. You...weren’t. Ever since you lost V, you’ve been down. Like a part of you was forever lost. Truthfully though, you couldn’t say that ‘cause V was right next to you...as Vergil, who also didn’t seem much for socializing.

Looking at the man, it was at first hard to believe that they are the same person. V was a man filled with compassion, a quiet and gentle resolve that made you heart skip several beats. This man beside you, this Vergil, he had that certainly, but there was a deadly ferocity to him, an ambition that clearly separated him from that personality. The devil side of him that wasn’t V. You didn’t know how to feel about Vergil. And yet when he came to you, revealing himself to you, telling you that he was V, V’s true self...and that he loved you, that left you conflicted.

“It truly is me, my love...”

The way he said that, it felt like V. You found yourself drawn to Vergil because of that. But when you look at him, you don’t see any of V at all. You felt terrible because of that, moreso when Vergil admitted that he was willing to wait until you were ready to accept him to press forward. Honestly, however, you did not know what “forward” is. Could you see yourself with Vergil the same way you were with V? The least you could do was try. And here you both were. At Patty’s eighteenth birthday party. By Dante’s invitation.

Speaking of Dante, it appears he was forced into a dance with who you presume to be the birthday girl, trying very hard to remove himself from her vice grip. The poor man was even eyeing the rest of the crew and Morrison, silently begging them to help him in which they all just laugh at his predicament.

Vergil: “I see that my brother is still an inadequate dancer.”

You: “Really? He seems to Michael Jackson impressively well from what I last saw.”

Vergil: “Irrelevant. Dante lacks finesse when it comes to moving with a partner. Mother told him just as much when she was tutoring us.”

You: “You two were only kids back then. Do you honestly mean to say that you remember the steps to the “T” after all this time?”

The man seems to have taken this as a challenge and stands before you, dipping to a courteous bow before offering his hand.

Vergil: “Let me show you.”

This took you off guard, a tinge of red began to burn from your neck to your cheeks. You didn’t expect this from him at all.

You: “I...I don’t want to embarrass you in front of everyone. I can’t dance to save my life.”

He gives you an almost scolding look, as if saying such a thing offended him.

Vergil: “Nothing you do will make me feel ashamed of you.”

His words did nothing to cool your blush, but it relieved you to know that you didn’t insult him. The son of Sparda glances around the room over his shoulder before locking you in a compelling gaze.

Vergil: “Although if you want, we can go somewhere else. It would please me greatly to have this dance with you.”

Anxious to see what Vergil has in store, you carefully place your hand in his and allowed him to guide you towards an empty corridor, away from prying eyes. When he is certain that you two are alone, he lifts his hands, but stops momentarily.

Vergil: “May I?”

This astounded you. The way he said that, it reminded you so much like V. You can see in Vergil’s eyes that he is asking for permission, a gesture he does not often express according to Dante. He is so very much like V...

Because he is V. V is Vergil... You need to accept that.

Gulping down the lump in your throat, you summoned the nerve to follow through with this. You nod, placing your hands around his neck and Vergil in turn has his hands at the small of your waist. He pulls you to him until your hips were against one another. The physical contact makes you gasp earning a ghost of a smirk from him. The both of you can still hear the music loud and clear from the main room, the song playing a slow rhythm, swaying your movements to match his. As the song went on, you were pleasantly surprised at how right Vergil was. The man really did know how to dance. He knew when to step, when to pull, when to twirl you - it made you lose yourself in his lead and admittedly, you enjoyed it. Every now and then, you would glance up at him, but immediately look away as he would always meet your eyes. You’re pretty certain that he has not tore his gaze away from you for one second, the weight of that thought intense on your senses, making you feel tingly inside.

When the dance began to slow to an end, he pulls you close, embracing you to the perfect finale, rocking you to the last notes, and you found yourself leaning against him, your cheek against his shoulders.

He smells nice...

You never noticed his scent before. Then again, this is the first time you’ve been this physically close to Vergil since the first day you’ve, you suppose, officially met him. He had a musk that can lull you into his embrace and it took all of your willpower not to allow yourself to drown in it. Yet why not drown? Isn’t this technically the man you love? Your heart felt heavy at these questions. You wanted to answer them simply and be done with them so that you can enjoy this moment. Why aren’t you allowing yourself to be happy with Vergil?

“Joy and woe are woven fine.”

Your eyes snap open, dragging you out of your despairing reverie.

You: “Huh?”

Vergil: “Under every grief and pine

Runs a joy with silken twine.”

He pulls away from you slightly to look at you. He has such an intense gaze, you were certain that he wasn’t even trying on purpose. Vergil was naturally imposing, and the man was reciting poetry to you with the same imposing look.

Vergil: “It is a passage from one of William Blake’s works. Auguries of Innocence. I started reading it to you that last night we were together. We never got to finish it.”

Oh... You remember that night. Although you were not officially part of the Devil May Cry crew, you knew your way around the city despite its ruin and helped draw out their maps. When Dante, Lady, and Trish disappeared, you assisted V in rescuing civilians and placed them in safe havens. You two spent a lot of time together. A month to be exact, but it was plenty of time for you to admit that you had fallen for him hard. And apparently V did too as he confessed this to you. For a time, as you two sat together, held hands, and simply enjoyed each other’s company, he would read to you. V had such a lovely voice, one you felt that you could listen to forever. And on the last night, you two allowed yourselves to get lost in each other. After making love, you looked at the time. It was starting to reach the hour when V had to to leave to rendezvous with Nero. Not wanting him to leave right away, you requested that he read to you from the book he always carried on his person. V took one look at your face and knew that he could not deny you. He grabbed his book, cracked it open, and began to recite the lines aloud. You listened with piqued interest, half-lying atop of him and your head on his shoulder.

It kept going for a time but eventually slumber took you and when the sun was high in the sky and you awoke to meet it, V was gone. It was the last time you saw him and all that was left was a note saying that he promises to finish. It gave you hope that he would return. You were certain that V would come back. He did. But not in the way you expected. The memory of that day pained you still, all coming back and tears began to pool from your eyes. You felt gentle hands cradle your face in their warmth, the thumbs wiping away the tears. You look up to see Vergil, a deep frown on his face. He appeared just as hurt as you, saddened that you still held such a mournful weight on your heart.

Vergil: “What can I do to prove to you that I am the same man as the one you fell in love with? Say it and it is done.”

You took a moment to think about this. What do you want? You wanted to remember V, the good you had with him. You didn’t want to be sad anymore. V wouldn’t want you to be sad.

V doesn’t want you to be sad. He’s right here. You shook your head. He is not the same man.

But he is not a different man entirely. V is a part of Vergil. Vergil is V completed. Will you not accept him for who he truly is?

“Give me a chance...”

V said these exact words to you when he confessed that he loved you. And although you already knew that you had fallen for him, you wanted to know that what he said was real. You asked him...

You: “Kiss me.”

Vergil eyes you for a moment, his eyes scanning over your face, your expression as if looking for confirmation that you indeed said what you did. Before you lost your nerve and told him to forget it, he dips his head low and fervently presses his lips against yours. And your senses went wild.

This is him! This is the man you fell in love with! V. Vergil. It didn’t matter his name, his appearance. None of it. Only that this is him. Him.

Not wanting to waste anymore time that you have already lost moping around over that which has never left your side, you throw your arms around Vergil’s neck, tightening your shared embrace, kissing him with fervor. He returns it just as passionately, moving his lips along yours, savoring the sweet taste of your renewed affection.

You felt the devilish swipe of his tongue against your lower lip and the gentle squeeze of his hand on your hip, you gasp at his touch, allowing his tongue to dance with yours. It set off another familiar feeling, a bubbling at the pit of your stomach. Your thighs began to rub against one another, you felt your knees growing weak and your mind going hazy. The weight of his kiss earns him a soft moan from you and the man groans at the sound. He separates himself from you, although it is clear from the intensity of his gaze that it took all of his willpower to do so.

Vergil: “Stop me now or I will lose completely...to my desire for you.”

This made you shiver. A man driven by desire fueled by both his devil and human side...and he was a gentleman to you still. The consideration made you smile and reminiscent. This is definitely him. You dash away his concerns by planting a loving kiss on his lips. You noted that he closed his eyes when you did this, wanting to feel the full embrace of your lips and felt your heart skip a beat.

You: “Don’t stop, Vergil.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, the man grabs a hold at the bottom of your dress and tears a gaping slit at the side. The action and sound made you yelp and before you know it, you felt strong hands at your bare thighs and you were lifted from the floor. Out of instinct, you wrap your legs around his waist and you were pressed firmly against the far wall. When you dared to look in his eyes, you felt the weight of his stare and thought you would come undone then and there.

You: “Here?”

Vergil: “I will use the Yamato to take us away from here.”

His hips press into yours, you gasp at the feeling of his hardening desire thrusting against your wanting core. Just this alone was driving you mad with lust and pleasure.

Vergil: “But for now, I’m greedy for a taste. I’ve gone without this for far too long.”

And he took you, again and again, like a man touch-starved, deprived of that which he craved that most. You. What you thought was lost came back to you in full. And you vowed to never let him go again. And he, the same.

I watched Broadway’s Dance of the Vampires so you don’t have to

Ever wondered how bad the broadway version actually is? Now’s your chance to find out, my friend...

So about a month ago, I came across a bootleg of the broadway show and, because it was late and I am a Certified Idiot, I decided to watch it and write down my thoughts. Having heard how bad it was, I knew to expect a train wreck, but I had no idea just how much of a train wreck it was going to be until I pressed play and witnessed something that truly cannot be described in words.

I was originally just going to post my whole list of thoughts but it ended up being over 5000 words (many of which were me screaming NO and wHYYY) so I’ve put it in a separate post, so click that link if you want to read it in its entirety!

Instead, I’ve decided to do a (slightly) shorter summary of ‘highlights’, if they can really be called that, with a kind of silly score for each ‘category’. A review, if you will. I’m sure I’ll have missed some things, but this should hopefully at least give you an idea of what exactly they did to poor Tanz der Vampire. Still, I apologise for the length of this in advance - I just had a lot of thoughts, okay?

A quick disclaimer: While I have seen clips of producations of Tanz from various countries, I’ve only seen the whole production once - the Berlin bootleg from somewhere around 2009-11 - so I’ll mostly be comparing with that!

I know the broadway musical is a big taboo subject, so I’m not expecting many, if any, to actually read any of this. But if you ever wondered how bad it was and didn’t want to have to actually watch it, this post is for you!

So, without further ado…

The Characters: -7/10

Let me begin by saying that many of the characters bear almost no resemblance to the originals. The worst case, of course, is with Giovanni von Krolock. A cringeworthy caricature, his awful faux-Italian accent, terrible jokes and horrifying bat form make him the polar opposite of what Krolock is supposed to be. In my notes, I actually referred to him as Giovanni rather than Krolock, because this is not Krolock; where Krolock is mysterious, aloof, powerful, and occasionally slightly sarcastic, Giovanni is silly, makes puns in nearly every line, and commands no respect or fear whatsoever. I resent that I began to ironically enjoy mocking him by the time I’d finished watching it.

Alfred is absurdly confident and confrontational, and narrates everything he writes in his journal (and tbh is probably a closeted bi). Sarah now apparently has friends and is allowed to leave her room. Koukol doesn’t exist, and is replaced by a man that Krolock hypnotises, who sometimes acts like a dog. Herbert is French, ridiculously stereotypical, and there is a very poor attempt from Krolock at pronouncing his name in a French accent. The other characters are fortunately mostly the same as the originals, although not entirely.

The Music: 2.5/10

Oh, the music… how do I begin?

Long story short, it was generally horrible. Multiple songs were cut entirely, and others were mashed together into strange frankensongs. The opening song, for instance, is completely different (and was what immediately made me realise I’d made a terrible mistake in deciding to watch it). The lyrics were mostly not as interesting as the original German lyrics, and often had less syllables, so the songs often felt empty and drawn out.

Many of the songs had slightly different overall meanings/purposes to their German counterparts, and I though that songs like Total Eclipse and Invitation to the Ball were way too sappy and romantic, lacking any of the drama and tension of Totale Finsternis and Einladung zum Ball. Krolock had been so ridiculous the whole time that Die Unstillbare Gier sadly could never have worked, even if the lyrics had been better. The singing itself was actually pretty good from what I remember, which was the only thing that saved the music, but Krolock’s horrible accent ruined many of the songs he was in. There was so much potential for it to be good if they’d just done a faithful adaption…...

I could go on forever about the music (as I do in my full commentary) but that would probably need a whole new post! So instead let’s move on to…

The Costumes: 2/10

Boring. Sarah’s red ball gown is nice enough, but all of the other vampires’ costumes are painfully simple and poorly designed. Krolock lacks a cape for most of the musical (which is a crime), Herbert is dressed in a hideous bright blue coat and an aggressively yellow wig, and the finale costumes are just simple black leather coats. It all lacks any of the detail or, in Herbert’s case, sparkle, of any of the other versions of the costumes that I’ve seen. While I should probably note that this was in 2002, it is still noticeably simpler than other productions of Tanz around the same time. Krolock also lacks his usual makeup, and Herbert’s is just ugly. And Krolock’s top hat in the opening? Why???

The Staging: -5/10

When they aren’t dancing, most of the ‘staging’ is just the characters at opposite sides of the stage facing each other. It doesn’t matter what is supposed to be happening in the scene, or the message of the song; they just... stand there. Occasionally, if you’re lucky, the characters might stand next to each other, but such close proximity is a rare occurrence in Dance of the Vampires, saved mostly for Alfred or Krolock with Sarah or Herbert and, in a strange duet about books, Krolock and Professor Ambronsius.

Krolock does pretty much nothing in Die Unstillbare Gier, and the staging for Einladung zum Ball was very confusing, at least when they weren’t just standing still. Sarah’s bedroom inexplicably becomes a cloudy place with no floor, and it was never quite clear whether the scene was a dream or not. Considering the rest of the musical, either possibility is honestly equally likely. At one point at the start of the first act, Krolock literally rises out of the ground in a huge coffin. I could go on. Also the sponge Krolock gives Sarah is a fraction of the size of the one he gives her in the original, which I like to think is a metaphor for the broadway production itself.

The Sets: 3/10

While not accurate to any other versions at the time or since, a couple of the sets were admittedly quite pretty (though still not quite on Kentaur’s level). However, there was no inn structure for the first act, and some of the sets were quite limited. One of the most popular (and nicest) sets in the second act is a huge stairway covered in a frankly impractical number of candles.

In the finale, despite the characters on multiple occasions declaring that the story takes place in Transylvania in “18something”, the background is for some reason Times Square with all of its neon signs (which I’m pretty sure did most certainly not exist in the 1800s). Whether a huge location change and time skip of a couple hundred years has taken place or whether the directors and set designers finally gave up trying to make the story make sense, I have no idea.

Worst Moments:

I just had to include this section! These are only a few of the worst and/or most bizarre moments I could pick out. I’m sure there’s more that I forgot but here are some (read: quite a few) of my favourites:

Krolock, wearing a top hat, rising from the ground in a giant coffin before saying, “God has left the building”

Krolock appearing as a hideous animated bat thing

Sarah and her friends getting high on mushrooms in the opening

The fact that Sarah’s birthday is on Halloween at midnight during the total eclipse of the moon

Krolock offering Alfred a sponge shaped like a penis then slowly tilting it down when Alfred says no

Ambronsius decorating Sarah’s room in Halloween decorations to scare off Krolock

Krolock genuinely being convinced that Sarah is a literal princess until he visits her room

Krolock and Ambronsius harmonising about books together

The big grey winged gargoyle demons dancing on the bed during Carpe Noctem

Krolock repeatedly dressing in a big grey dress and pretending to be his own mother/wife/who even knows what

Alfred angrily threatening Krolock, followed by Krolock physically attacking Alfred (this happens on more than one occasion)

The nonsense ‘prophecy’ they randomly introduce

“I use my body as a bandage, I use my body as a wound” (and this is instead of “Ich will frei und freier werden, und werde meine Ketten nicht los”) WHAT DOES IT MEAN

Koukol-replacement saying, “Okay, here he is, the man you’ve all been waiting for, his excellency… the Count von Krolock!) and Krolock waving and pointing like a rockstar as he kisses people walking down the stairs to the ball

Krolock dramatically dying on the stairs at the end of the ball for a solid minute

The Good Parts

Surprisingly, there were a few redeeming features!

Firstly, the couple of songs where they kept things very similar to the source material (such as Knoblauch) were actually quite good at times. Unfortunately, this isn’t to say that they were necessarily good, but compared to the less faithful parts they were a nice surprise, even if Knoblauch was never my favourite song from Tanz.

The singing itself was generally pretty good too! I also hate to admit that I did at times find myself laughing a little at the awful jokes.

And... uhh...

...yeah, that’s about it...

Some Highlights From My Notes:

And finally, here are some out of context quotes from my notes that I feel sum up the musical quite well:

It sounds like he’s about to start a really sad rave

I was gonna roast the lyrics some more but I’m gonna be honest I’m not sure what he’s saying

This feels on the same level of what kind of acid trip hallucination parallel universe have I landed in as seeing the Cats film in the cinema

Is this actually Deadpool in disguise with all the fourth wall breaking

Crawford looks like he regrets everything and can I just say Michael so does everybody else

He looks like a potato or a rock or that neutral nicolas cage face that people put on the sequin cushion

This sounds like a poorly written Krolock/reader wattpad fanfic

Giovanni would highkey be like lol arent i so random rawr xd on myspace

He might as well have said, “Itsa me, Mario”

They’re just stood there like two pigeons aimlessly squawking at each other

Alfred is like a chihuahua with small dog syndrome barking at a bigger dog, except Giovanni is barely bigger and is a flea-infested Chinese Crested dressed in a cheap Halloween costume

The throne glides like a magic carpet only it doesn’t leave the ground so I suppose it’s actually more like a chair with wheels, which is much less exciting

He just stands there like a poorly-dressed rock

-22/10 would not listen again

Final Comments:

So, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope that was somewhat informative and/or entertaining for you! It took me weeks to get through the whole musical because I couldn’t stand watching it for too long at a time, and maybe you can see why! Like I said at the start of this monster of a post, there’s probably a lot that I’ve forgotten to mention, so if you’re unfortunate enough to have seen any of this car crash of a musical, feel free to add your thoughts! :D

Coffee Shop (m)

Genre: smut, nonidol!au Word Count: 3.3k Pairing: nonidol!Taehyung x reader Warnings: cunnilingus, semi-exhibitionism (again), unprotected sex (be safe!) Summary: Taehyung has always been this illusive creature that was way out of your league so you settled for staring at him in bio chem. One night at the 24 hour coffee shop that you work at, Taehyung walks in and proves that he’s noticed you more than you thought.  

“Who are you looking at?” Jiwoo asked waving her hand in front of your face.

You were both in your early morning bio chem lecture and you most definitely were zoned out on the lecture and you were most definitely not looking at the professor.

“What?” you asked coming out of your reverie.

“I asked who are you looking at? You’ve been staring wistfully off in that direction for at least fifteen minutes.”

The lecture hall was huge with stadium seating so there was no way that Jiwoo would know exactly who you were looking at.

“I’m not looking at anyone.”

“Bullshit. I know that look. You basically have heart eyes right now. Spill it.”

“kimtaehyung,” you mumbled under your breath.

“What?” she asked leaning closer to your face.

“Kim Taehyung,” you said quietly.

Jiwoo leaned out to look over the heads a few rows down and scanned until she found who she was looking for.

“You mean the super-hot theater nerd that has a thousand friends?” she asked leaning back again.

“The same one.”

“I heard he’s dating Choi Seoyun.”

“Figures. She’s gotten everything she’s wanted since high school.”

“No offense, but I don’t think Kim Taehyung would look twice at either of us.”

“Okay, screw you,” you said feigning hurt.

“If I were him, I would date you, but that’s just me,” she added with a wink. “Maybe you should join theater.”

“Fuck. That,” you said firmly. “I would make a bigger fool of myself.”

“You’re right. I don’t know what to tell you, man.”

“For now, he’s nice to look at.”

_________________________________________

“It’s going to be slow tonight,” Yoongi said beside you while tying his apron.

You were both on the night shift of the 24 hour coffee shop you worked at. Being a university town, the coffee shop was normally busy during exams, but during the regular semester you rarely saw more than five students a night. Friday nights in particular were slow since most students were out partying.

“I brought some homework to work on,” you said straightening out some brochures on the counter.

“Wow, you’re boring.”

“What else would you like to do?” you asked leaning on the counter and putting your hand on your hip. “It’s not like we can clear out the tables and play basketball in here.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice?” he laughed.

You began pulling your books out of your bag and setting them on the counter. You had a clear enough space, a stool, and a good line of vision in case a customer walked in.

“Go play on your DS or something,” you said before jotting down some notes.

He huffed and walked away from you to go do whatever it was Yoongi did while you weren’t busy. A couple of hours later, around 11:30, the chime sounded on the door. You had been so fully immersed in your reading that you hadn’t even heard it, nor did you notice when someone walked up to the counter. That was when you heard a polite cough come from you left. You nearly jumped out of your skin, raking a few cups off the counter and throwing the brochures that you had arranged earlier.

“Shit!” you yelled while clutching your chest. When you looked up your breath caught in your throat. Before you stood none other than Kim Taehyung.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you that badly,” he said while a small smile crept across his face. “But I must say your reaction kind of made my night.”

You felt your face grow hot as you looked down. You really wanted to pass out and die right now. You cleared your throat and stood up from the stool and tried to plaster on your best smile.

“What can I get for you?”

“Uh, can I get some green tea please?” He scratched the back of his neck as if he were antsy. Taking this as a sign that you needed to hurry you immediately sprung into action.

“Yea! Absolutely!” You ran to set some water to boil, while dropping the thermometer you readied the tea to steep once the water got to the perfect temperature. You were trying your best to keep yourself busy, so that you wouldn’t look at him and be forced to make polite conversation. As it was right now, your mouth wanted to blurt out something stupid just to have a reason to talk to him, but you forced yourself to focus on your task at hand. At that moment Yoongi walked to the front from god knows where.

“Everything okay up here?” he asked looking between you and Taehyung.

“I scared the shit out of her,” you heard Taehyung laugh.

“Yea, well, I usually do that as a past time, but it looks like you beat me to it.”

You heard Taehyung laugh out loud this time, loudly.

“I’m fine, Yoongi,” you said bitterly without turning to look at him.

“Well, if you need me, I’ll just be in the back reorganizing everything for the fifth time.”

When you heard the swinging door’s rubber barrier slide across the floor, you grabbed the pot of water and slowly poured it over the tea leaves and set the timer to steep.

“So…,” you heard Taehyung begin.

You turned to see him still standing awkwardly at the counter.

“Yes?” you asked.

“You’re _____, right?”

Your hand slipped off the counter you were leaning on in surprise as you tried to play it off.

“…yes?”

“Bio chem with Kim?” he laughed at his own joke.

How in the hell did he know you had bio chem together? He always sat somewhere in front of you, so it’s not like he had seen you before.

“Yea,” you laughed. “It’s how I like to spend Monday and Wednesday mornings at eight a.m.”

He chuckled again while rearranging the brochures you had previously shuffled in your surprise.

“Listen, this might sound a little strange, but would you want to have some tea with me?”

You were pretty sure your eyes bulged out of your head.

“Right now?”

He looked around the empty café before turning back to you. “I mean, there’s not really anyone in here. Would you be able to? I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“Uh…I…yea…that’s totally fine! Though I’m a coffee girl really.” You busied yourself to start an Americano before your timer went off. “You can go find a seat if you want! I’ll bring your tea to you.”

Taehyung simply smiled and scanned the café for the perfect spot. Once he had turned away you quickly grabbed your phone to text Jiwoo.

[You]: Bitch!!! Taehyung is in the café and he knows who I am and he just asked me to sit and have tea with him!!!!! The fuck!!!!!!!

[Jiwoo]: Are you fucking kidding me?! Wait, how does he know who you are?

[You]: I’m wondering the same thing. I’ll text you once I find out.

The timer went off for Taehyung’s tea and you carefully took out the infuser. You looked up to see Tae sitting at a table in the far corner of the restaurant. You carried both mugs to the table and set his in front of him.

“Thank you,” he said gratefully as he pulled the steaming mug into his hands.

“I don’t mean to sound rude, but how do you know me?”

Taehyung choked on the tea he had just sipped.

“I’m sorry is it too hot oh my god I fucked up,” you started to ramble.

He held up both hands in surrender while trying to get over his coughing fit. “No, no it’s not that. It’s just why wouldn’t I know you?”

“…what?”

“We have class together.”

Oh. That’s what he was talking about.

“Y-yea. So…do you like bio chem?”

“Hate it.”

You laughed. “So do I. I wouldn’t have taken it if it wasn’t required.”

“Yea your major is pysch, right?”

It was your turn to choke on your drink as Taehyung made a face that read that he had released too much information.

“How did you know what my major is?”

“I, uh, saw your books on the counter when I was ordering.”

You thought back to your homework spread on the counter.

“Oh, shit, yea. I’m sorry. I thought you were psychic or something. Just very observant.”

“You’re funny,” he laughed.

“I’ll be here all night.”

The both of you fell into comfortable conversation with no one entering the café and Yoongi never made an appearance from the store room; he tended to either work on his music in there or take a nap. You were both laughing about something Taehyung had said when he unconsciously laid his hand on top of yours. You both froze as you felt your skin turn red hot under his touch. He quickly pulled his hand away and looked at you uncomfortably.

“I’m really sorry. I’m not sure why I did that.”

You were embarrassed because of course Taehyung wouldn’t be the slightest bit interested in you.

“It’s just,” he began looking away from you. “I’ve kinda had a crush on you for some time now.”

“Excuse me, what?”

“Okay, I shouldn’t have told you that, I’m clearly stepping over a boundary.” Taehyung made to stand up and leave, embarrassed by his confession. You grabbed his wrist before he could go any further.

“No! No, it’s okay, but what about Seoyun?”

He looked at you confused. “Who?”

“Seoyun, the girl…you’re dating?”

“Wait, wait, wait. Choi Seoyun? I most definitely have nothing to do with her. Last I checked she was a stuck up bitch.”

“I always wondered why someone like you would date such a wretched human being, but admittedly, I’ve stared at the back of your head since day one of bio chem.”

“Wow.”

“Oh god, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever admitted.”

He laughed as he grabbed your hands from your face. “You’re cute,” he said kneeling down to your level as you sat.

You both stared at each other a second too long, the atmosphere in the café seemed to freeze, and your breathing became shallow. You felt too hot for your own skin and you were highly aware that you were wearing grubby clothes and a coffee stained apron. Before you could take a second breath Taehyung’s lips were on yours. You felt heat flush through your body as his soft lips moved over yours. They were everything you expected and then again, not at all. His hands were warm on your face and his breath quickened with yours. He broke away too soon and looked directly in your eyes.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he whispered.

“So did I,” you said before grabbing his head and bringing his lips back to yours.

You both forgot that you were in the café for a few minutes when you heard the heater kick on loudly. You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound and looked around as if you had just been caught. You grabbed Taehyung’s hand and drug him to a separate store room that wasn’t Yoongi’s napping spot. Once inside, you were both all hands and tongues as he pushed you up against a shelf, causing bags of coffee beans to fall to the floor but you were both too involved with one another to care. You busied yourself by untying your apron and letting it fall to the floor.

Taehyung reached for the hem of your shirt. “May I?”

“Yes,” you answered him breathlessly. He was quick in his movements. He had your shirt over your head in seconds and then his lips were back on yours. He grabbed the hair on the back of your head to bring it back as he kissed along the vein in your neck.

“I’m going to make it so that every time you walk in this room, you’re going to instantly soak your panties.”

“I think they already are.”

He chuckled against your neck as he slowly ran his tongue back to your ear where he brought your earlobe between his teeth. You pressed your chest against his as he moved his mouth down to suck the skin beneath your ear.

“Please,” you whimpered.

“Please what?”

“Touch me.”

Taehyung reached down to unbutton your shorts. “Is this okay?”

“Quit asking me if everything is okay and just do it.”

“As you wish.” Taehyung dropped to his knees and pulled your shorts and underwear down in one go as soon as he had the zipper down. A moan emanated deep from within his chest as soon as you were revealed to him. “Do you know how many times I imagined this when you’d walk into class? It was like you knew I’d be watching you. Except, when I thought of this happening it was more along the lines of having you laid out in my bed while I fucked you until you couldn’t remember your own name. You really are as beautiful as I imagined.”

He started to place soft kisses along your hipbone to your navel before travelling down. He brought his mouth down and you watched as his tongue slowly slid over your clit and in that instant his eyes snapped up to yours. You wanted to pinch yourself or check your temperature to make sure you weren’t having a fever dream; the sight below you was everything you had ever dreamed of. His dark hair was swept off his forehead and his eyes glistened in the overhead fluorescent lights. In was in that instance that you heard the chime from the front door. Taehyung gripped your thighs tighter and continued his assault on your clit.

“T-tae…I have to g-go help,” you whispered.

He pulled back from you to say, “Let Yoongi get it.” before diving back in. This time he sucked your clit into his mouth, eliciting a moan from you when you heard Yoongi greet the customer in the front. Your thighs were incredibly and thoroughly soaked at this point and Taehyung was not letting up. You heard the chime again as the customer left and a very aggravated Yoongi calling out your name.

“Be quiet,” Taehyung whispered heatedly against you.

You clapped your own hand over your mouth to keep from giving yourself away. Yoongi’s footsteps drew closer to the door and you held your breath in anticipation to him opening it.

“Did she really fucking bail?” you heard him grumble before moving away back to where he came from.

At that moment Taehyung stood up and turned you around. “Hands on the shelf.”

You did as you were told and unconsciously spread your legs. Behind you, you heard him unzipping his pants and letting them drop to the floor. He ran his hands down your sides and to your ass where he spread your cheeks, looking.

“Such a pretty ass, but that’s for another day. Can I?” he asked while rubbing his cock in between your legs.

“What did I tell you about asking?” you panted. You were so ready to get fucked that you felt your whole body throbbing.

Without a word, he slid slowly inside of you. You both stifled a moan of satisfaction.

“You’re so fucking tight, ______.”

“Yea, well, it’s been a while,” you tried to joke.

“No one is going to fuck this tight cunt besides me from now on.”

Heat flushed through your body at his words. The prospect of a next time that didn’t involve a store room filled with coffee beans excited you. You felt his breath hot on your neck as he leaned down into you. His strokes inside of you were long and deep; he was taking his time with you. You felt his long fingers travel up your stomach and to your breast where he cupped you lightly before pinching one of your nipples through your bra. Your fingers gripped the shelf in front of you tightly; trying to hold yourself up and keep most of the contents from making noise.

“Do you think Yoongi will hear us?” he whispered in your ear.

“I hope not,” you gasped. His pace inside of you was still too casual. Part of you wanted him to fuck you into next week because that’s what you wanted, and the other part wanted it over so you didn’t get caught with your pants down at work. Something told you that Taehyung liked the excitement of this semi-public tryst. “Do you fuck people at work often?”

He laughed lowly as he took a step back, taking you with him, and never leaving his position inside of you. He ran his hand slowly up your back until you were at a ninety-degree angle, gripping the next shelf down, and grabbed your hips again. He leaned down low over your back to bring his lips to your ear once more. “No, just this girl I’ve been checking out since the beginning of the semester.”

This time his pace quickened. Your ears were filled with his skin hitting your ass at a rapid pace, his heavy breathing, and the roaring silence of the café beyond the door. Taehyung reached around to grab your throat and bring you back up against his chest.

“I can’t wait until I have you writhing beneath me, wrapped up in my sheets, and begging me to stop.” He was trying to get you to come as quickly as possible. He brought his fingers to your clit. “I’m going to taste this sweet pussy of yours and I’ll never be able to come back from it. I have a feeling I’m going to want to be between these legs for quite some time.” Your head fell back against his shoulder as you concentrated on his words, his fingers on your clit, and his heavy cock sliding in and out of you. “Then I’m going to fuck you until those pretty brown eyes roll back in your head. I’m going to find out your every fantasy and play them out for you. I want to worship this body every chance I get.” Your mouth fell open in a silent cry as you clenched hard around him feeling your orgasm as harshly as stepping outside on a hot, summer day. “And then when you think I’m done with you, I’m going to do it all over again.”

He pulled out from you, but held you close as you regained feeling in your legs; wrapping an arm around your waist affectionately. He kissed down your neck and shoulder before letting go to gather your clothes. He sat them on the shelf before pulling up his own pants.

You turned to look at him. “What about you?”

He looked down at his watch. “You get off in, what, an hour?”

You nodded.

“One thing you’ll find out about me,” he said walking up to you and placing a hand on your cheek, “is that not only do I want to make sure you’re satisfied, but I do like to play; you know, edging, overstimulation, and the like. That also means I like it done to myself. Let’s just say I’m saving myself for when you get off work.” He finished his statement with a wink.

You gulped, wondering exactly what he was into, and it also peaked your arousal again.

He kissed you lightly on the forehead. “I’ll meet you here when your shift is over.”

He watched as you dressed and then bid you a good rest of your shift before heading out. Yoongi came out of the other store room, looking aggravated at having to help someone when he heard the chime on the door.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he asked looking you up and down. “And why do you look freshly fucked?”

Match up ^o^

May I request a Match up, please?

I’m at the part when I have to choose a route and I honestly don’t know/care. So I decided why not let some lovely internet stranger choose for me? Who do you think I would pair the best with?

I also noticed how much effort and detail you put into these so I decided that it was only fair to try to put in just as much effort in requesting. Or maybe I am just extremely vain so blabbering on this much about myself comes naturally (I also wouldn’t be too suprised if this were the case lol). Either way, I apologise for this getting so long. And without further ado, let’s learn about yours truly. Uh, yay?

I will start with my physical appearance because that’s easiest.  

First of all, I am rather tall for a woman. Pair that with the fact that I constantly wear boots with 8 centimetre or greater heels and I almost always cap out somewhere above 182 centimetres (that’s 6 feet in American). So yes. I’m not exactly the approachable type, on the account of my height and near constant resting bitch face. I always look pissed off at something (and to be fair, I usually am).

I am a brunette with boring brown eyes. Nothing of note there. 

I prefer to walk on my toes, for whatever reason. I also have great posture when I walk and these two factors always make it seem like I am floating. I’ve been told that I always seem very confident and self-assured. Which is complete bullshit because 90% of the time, I am winging it. 

I am a dancer (of sorts. More on that later), so I am rather slim and toned. This is literally the only aspect of my physicality that I am actually confident in. The rest of me can burn in hell for all I care. 

I am also very touch adverse. I hate the feeling of skin touching my skin it grosses me touch. However. There are a select few people in this world that I accept and enjoy hugs and cuddles from (and who I could snuggle with for hours). If I let anyone cuddle me that means I trust said person unconditionally and feel extremely comfortable around them. It’s essentially the ultimate statement of trust.

Onto personality.

If you can’t already tell, I have about as much dignity as a wet cat. I while I certainly do have an ego, it can be kind of difficult to bruise. Publically, I am absolutely shameless and don’t give two shits about what others think. 

I have a tongue of steel and can rapid fire the most atrocious insults and comebacks when provoked. I’m known for my venomous sarcasm and biting wit among my own circles. I have a line for nearly every single situation so one-liners have become my thing. Which works out for me because I am a huge flirt.

I’ll flirt with pretty much anyone regardless of gender, I don’t give a crap. To clarify, it’s not because I am an attention whore (okay, yes. I am a complete attention whore), it’s because I am a theatre kid so excessive eye contact and sexual jokes are kinda where I thrive. I am also not afraid to get questionably lascivious with my flirting if someone tries to out-pace me. I never blush, I never falter, and I never let anyone know that they got the better of me. It shows weakness. 

Despite my salacious façade, I am not inherently a sexual person. As a matter of fact, I am quite the opposite. I don’t experience sexual attraction (kudos to my asexual humans. I see you). This has rendered me practically immune to all charm, crushes, and sex appeal. It makes my life a lot easier, in my opinion. I don’t get too attached. I also enjoy messing around with the egos of fuck boys. 

As mentioned earlier, I am an attention whore. I love showing off because I crave validation (this could point to some deep seated insecurities about myself that I refuse to acknowledge…. Ahem). Being on stage as where I thrive. And yes, I am a dancer, as I stated earlier. But I am not your conventional prissy ballerina. I am a circus performer. More specifically, I’m an aerialist. I have covered trapeze, contortion (I am unnaturally flexible), lyra, and silks. It’s a lot of fun almost dying every day and finding bruises in the most questionable places (if you cant already tell, I am an adrenaline junkie. I took karate for the first dozen or so years of my life and have recently been searching for more weapons combat classes because apparently I don’t have enough bruises already).

I am not easily impressed. And I don’t give out compliments very often. And that includes myself. I can be unnecessarily hard on myself at times… most of the time. But then again, who isn’t? 

As for the side of me that isn’t stark-raving mad, I am usually a pretty objective person. While I have no qualms with discussing emotions (both mine and friend’s. I am a great listener and actually give pretty good advice when it comes to dealing with intense emotions). I tend to avoid letting them interfere with my logic. I look down on those who allow their emotions to dictate their actions. It makes them needlessly reckless. 

I am typically a pretty chill person. When I am among people I am unfamiliar with, I tend to stay quiet and try not to rock the boat too much (again, I won’t hesitate to unleash a severe tongue lashing upon any poor soul who happens to rub me the wrong way… Or just happens to exist. I don’t take shit from other people and I hate it when others try to control me. (I don’t play rough, I play smart). 

I really enjoy reading, writing, or drawing quietly. I can’t stand loud and excessive noises or people (parties, screaming, concerts). I am a true extroverted introvert. I love being the center of attention and chatting, but I need my alone time. People are exhausting to deal with. 

Because of my aversion to loud sounds, I tend to avoid typical dance parties like the plague. While I am very good with mingling and partying in general, I can only keep it up in short bursts before I have to retreat somewhere quiet. This is also the reason I greatly prefer the nighttime (if I had a choice I would sleep all day and only frolick around at night. I just love the dark. It’s comforting in a weird way). I also love the night because that’s when I get to sleep and just peace out on life. It’s kinda like non-committal dying.

I am near constantly on hyper-alert so I am not easily startled. When I do get startled, I have a tendency to squeak, yelp or growl. These noses are purely reactionary sounds but for whatever reason, my friends think that they are absolutely adorable and will go to great lengths to startle me just to hear me make them.

To counteract my friend’s malevolence, I have learnt to be super observant, especially when I feel threatened. Usually, I am caught up on my own world and thoughts. I have an imagination so powerful that I can trick my brain into feeling false sensations such as an extra limb or falling. I much prefer to spend my time in my head rather than our boring reality. But if I feel threatened, or think that another attack is imminent, I instantly become hyper aware. These moments of lucidity enable me to make certain observations others would otherwise be overlooked (for example. I was able to tell when my professor lost her wedding ring due to the discoloration around her ring finger and the habitual and near-constant worrying she did at it. I offered to help her look after class ^.^. I admittedly felt kinda smug when I saw her surprise.) Ironically enough, I like to refer to this mode of thinking as “Sherlocking”. I can be quite the detective when I really try. 9 out of 10 times my friends will come to me when they suspect infidelity, I am pretty good at digging up dirt. 

However, I have to make the conscious decision to do this, usually when I am trying to figure someone out or manipulate them into liking me. So this isn’t constant and usually I go about my day like everyone else, blissfully unaware of my surroundings.

Uhh, there is probably more I could cover but this is getting very long as-is and you are probably forcing yourself to get through my seemingly eternal ramblings. So I am going to stop here and go grab myself some food. 

Best of luck to you,

-November

Hi there love!<3 you sound like such a cool interesting person! ^_^ Hehehe I probs took so long with this match up that you already chose a new route lol! Anyways thanx for waiting soooooo long for this and I hope ya enjoy it love ^0^ ^_^

I match you with……………………… Masamune

Honestly, it was between Masamune and Mitsuhide for me lol but i eventually decided to go with Masamune 

The first time Masamune sees you, his eyes go wide in awe, like wow you are one tall fine lady! He has legit never met anyone so tall. After you were named as chatelaine, you stayed behind with some of the warlords to chat and get to know them better, you are after all going to be seeing their faces every day for the next 3 months. 

Right of the bat, Masamune is howling in laughter at the fact that you are way taller than Ieyasu. You, Masamune and Mitsuhide basically tease the poor porcupine for a solid 20 minutes. “My my I never expected such a scary-looking little mouse to be so bubbly and friendly.” 

Oooh, this boy just stared a war of wits. Today day was a good day cause your tongue of steel was rapidly firing witty words and sarcastic remarks at the resident kitsune. He almost couldn’t keep up, almost. Masamune was just standing there watching the whole scene unfold, you truly were going to be a lot of fun! Masamune decided to test out that tongue of steel of your and started firing some flirty pick-up line, while unbeknown to him you are the queen of one-liners, and have no shame when it comes lascivious flirting. Masamune, of course, never backs down from a challenge, and he was determined to make you blush. The conversation got so heated that it made even Hideyoshi blush on your behalf. You simply laughed and fired another one of your pick-up lines.

After the little chat in the hallway and a massive speech from mama bear for talking about things that were not PG13, cause of the kids *cough* Mitsunari *cough*, you and Masamune become quick friends. He had never met a woman before that was immune to his boyish wild charm, and handsome sexual appeal. Masamune was definitely popular with the woman, not as popular as Hideyoshi, but he was definitely a fuckboi. As surprised as he was, that his normal antics didn't work on you, his ego wasn’t dented one bit, it just made him more determined to get to know you. 

Masamune definitely finds your flirtatious nature attractive, especially when you managed to score the two of you free sweet bun just by flirting with the shop owner, he was, even more, shook when the shop owner was a woman, your flirtation truly knows no bounds. The two of you would spend loads of time together, just going out for tea and sweets while getting to know each other. TBH although Masamune would never admit it, he found it refreshing that you weren't just his friend simply cause he was hot or cause you wanted to climb in stations but because you actually liked him as a person. You and Masamune definitely made an unstoppable team when it came to banquets. The two of you would team up and start teasing everyone there. When you two cuties are together its always a good time with loads of laughter and banter

Masamune discovered that you like him, was an adrenaline junkie. He loved that he finally had someone around that would do stupid shit with him just for the thrill of it. The two of you would go out on adventures 24/7 jumping down waterfalls and hiking up cliffs. The two of you goofball would also dare each other to do the craziest shit. Like one-time Masamune dared you to jump off the castle’s roof onto your balcony, and you freaken did it, no questions asked. Or like the one time you dared him to put his head in Shogetsu mouth, mind you the little cub was now grown into a full-blown tiger

One day you and Masa went to go watch one of Mitsuhide’s undercover performances. The three of you were investigating a shady daimyo in one of the nearby provinces. The three of you disguised yourselves as performers and joined a circus troop as their new dancers. You were so excited, the stage is where you truly come alive. You had promised Masa to show him something that would shock/surprise him after he gave you the grand tour of  Azuchi. Today was the day, you had kept your dance and performances a secret from the two men, and now it was finally time to show them what you can do. You had 3 different performances planned. The first one was contortion. To say Masamune was shook would be an understatement he never knew anyone could be so freaken flexible, like wow. Your next performance was aerial dancing, his blue eye gleamed in delight, watching you move through the air so gracefully. If he wasn’t sure before he was sure now, this boy loved ya. But what really took his breath away was when you trapezed through the air, he was absolutely mesmerized at the way you flew through the air doing back-flips and other cool ass tricks. Masamune loved the look of pure joy on your face as you performed and after the show, you explained to him that you were a theatre kid back in the past. Mitsuhide definitely took note of your skills, and since that day you now accompanied him on most missions that required him to disguise himself as a performer.

Masamune loved everything about you at this point. Your overdramatic introvert/extrovert personality. The way you walked. Gosh, he loved the way you walked, it looked like you were an angel floating around wherever you went. He loved your banter and one-liner for every situation. And most of all he loved your hyper-alert side. Boy did he love to come up behind you to scare the crap outta you just so he could hear you squeak, yelp or growl. Like he lived for those adorably cute noises. And you somewhere along the line had fallen in love with the big idiot. He was always coming up with new fun adventures to go on or new fun things to do. He was one of those few people that could actually keep up with your banter

What was he most impressed with you may ask, well you Sherlocking skills of course. One day there were rumours of some super shady daimyos visiting Azuchi. Word on the street was that they were planning on stealing Mitsunari report to make the poor angel look bad. Mitsuhide was away sorting out some other plots and schemes, so it was now up to you to use your skills, to save the angel. You used your detective skill to gather evidence, and since your inner circle knew you were from the future, you were planning on catching them in the act and filming them for evidence. Masamune was always up for an adventure, so he acted as you own personal Watson. The two of you hid while watching the whole scene unfold, once they left the room the two of you came out. “What do you think they are going to do with the report lass,” he asked while his blue eye gleamed in delight. “Hmmmmm, I believe they are going to burn the evidence in the forest” you replied in your best British accent. Masamune couldn’t help but laugh. The two of you made your way to a secluded part of the forest and spotted them making a fire. Masamune looked at you curiously “How did you know they were going to be in this exact spot.” “Elementary, my dear Masamune.” He couldn’t help but burst out in laughter you really were a super fun kitten. Unfortunately for the two of you, they heard you guys laughing behind the trees and before you knew it, the two of you were surrounded. One of the men had a sword right at your throat ready to cut you open, that is when you shocked them by not backing down from the fight, you hit the sword away with one of your own gifted to you by your dearest one-eyed dragon. “ Point that sword at me one more time and i’ll slash your Achilles’ tendons, and TBH given the medicine situation of this time, no one would know how to fix your injury, so I hope you like hobbling around on one leg for the rest of your life cause that is what will happen.” These men were shook; meanwhile, Masa was next to you howling in laughter, “She’s not joking boys, this lass delivers on her threats.” You had never seen grown men run away from a fight so fast. You and Masamune picked up Mitsunari’s report that had fallen on the ground during the commotion and walked back hand in hand

You didn’t really like skin touching skin, but TBH you definitely like the warm feeling of Masamune’s hand warmed around yours. The two of you had come to fall in love with each other, and it wasn’t long before you two cuties entered into a relationship. Despite both of you being adrenaline junkies, both of you also loved your quiet times. Often you would sit together in his manor each doing your own thing. You would read and write, and Masamune would sit at his desk pretending to work (Cause admin is so freaken boring). 

The two of you would have the best time together during banquets you loved being the centre of attention and would chat with everyone, but as the night would progress you would start feeling a bit drained and that’s when the one-eyed dragon would swoop in, pick you up and takes you to a quiet corner where the two of you cuddle and snuggle together.

He would spoil you rotten with the most amazing food, he would basically, cook anything your heart desires just to see that beautiful smile on your face. His heart would always burst with affection whenever he cuddles and kiss you, he knew that the fact that you allowed him to cuddle you was the ultimate statement of trust between the two of you.

Often the two of you cuties can be found causing mischief and giving Mamayoshi more grey hairs or cuddled together sharing stories of your day

Other potential matches............... Mitsuhide 

Hope u enjoyed it dear @november-solarstorms

My thoughts on Peaky Blinders...

Now I’ve finished Season Five, I wanted to get out my thoughts/ideas/opinions regarding the show. So strap in! - So first of all, the fucking cinematopgraphy in this series is gorgeous. You could take almost any scene and it looks like a painting. The lighting, the way it’s staged, it’s all just so visually pleasing to look at. My inner film student was just sighing dreamily at the shot composition. There’s a shot of John, Arthur and Tommy walking somewhere and you could fucking frame it and put it in your wall. - CILLIAN MURPHY, CILLIAN MURPHY, CILLIAN MURPHY. I mean, I always knew he was a good actor and also a pretty one, I think the role I remember him best in is Batman Begins, but holy shit, I never realised how hot he is until like two months ago. I know he apparently hates his Tommy haircut, but good lord, he can pull it off. The cheekbones! The eyes! The eyelashes! The sexy voice! Needless to say I saw him and immediately developed the biggest fucking crush. Apparently when I talk about Tommy to people my face goes pink. Thank you so much, show, for enlightening me to this human. Tommy is such a fantastic character, and I do wonder if another actor could pull him off quite as well. So much debate over his actions, motives, mindset, etc. I could probably write essays about the complexities of Tommy, but I won’t because this is a long-ass post anyway. He’s such a boss and I would die for him. - I actually really like Arthur??? So the very first clip of PB I ever saw was accidental, when I happened to turn the TV on and the Blinders were taking over the Eden Club and Arthur was glassing a guy in the face. I thought, “Oh, he’s probably like the dangerous thug character everyone is scared of.” (I didn’t know he’s Tommy’s brother at the time.) But actually he’s kind of endearing despite being the Shelby’s pitbull? Idk, the concept of the “failure” elder brother, how Arthur is the character the verbalises PTSD the most out of everyone, how one minute he can be lashing out like a rabid bear and then sobbing like a kid the next... I’m always like, “Oh, Arthur,” because you can see he wants to be a better person, but he just...doesn’t know how. - JOOOHN. I miss him! And it’s weird because in the early parts of the Season John doesn’t DO much but tag around after Tommy and Arthur, but his marriage to Esme is actually So Good and again, he’s actually kind of a softboi under the hard gangster act. (Also his “Do THIS, John, Do THAT, John, KILL YOUR FOOKIN’ TEACHER, JOHN!” is so fucking good.) He kind of provides a lightness when contrasted to Tommy and Arthur that I really do miss, because the last two Seasons have been very grim and I think John’s absence has something to do with it. I liked Esme too, even if she’s a stroppy bitch, her love for John but resentment of her role in the family and also she’s HELLA PRETTY. I’m sad her character has gone for now, but at least she wasn’t killed off. - I also love Ada a lot - I was really shocked when I read that Sophie Rundle hasn’t been acting all that long before she got the part in PB, because honestly she’s very good! And her concept again is a fun one - the only girl in a family of violent gangster boys. (Or as Freddy puts it, “The only princess”, which she is.) Having said that, I’m not sure how I feel about Ada’s character arc over the course of the season. In One she came off as kind of childish and still sort of stuck in her Rebellious Teen phase, then she became a mother and Freddie died, then in Season Two she’s trying to distance herself from the family and go legit, then in Season Four and Five she’s helping run the business and taking money from Tommy. Idk, I wish she’d play a more major role like her brothers because her motivations seem to change based on what the screenwriter wants, not what feels natural for her. Plus it annoys me that Ada blamed Ben Younger’s death on Tommy, but Tommy gets a lot of blame for things that aren’t his fault so I guess he’s used to it. Still, Ada is still a lot of fun when she does get to play a big role and gets some great lines later on. “Tommy Shelby is going to stop a revolution with his cock.” - POLLY, MY QUEEN! Easily the best woman on the show (sorry, Ada) and such a fucking badass. She’s definitely the voice of reason within the family and conflicting loyalty is a really interesting theme that gets explored with her, between her arguing nephews and niece, between her family or whether she wants to marry again and leave, her relationship with Michael, it’s all so great. Helen McRory is such a brilliant addition to the show. Also I love that Polly kinda represents women taking over after all the men went away to war and now they’re back, but the women aren’t just going to creep back into the house - World War One changed the workplace forever for women and I think Polly being the second in command after Tommy reflects that really well. - I think overall my favourite seasons have been Seasons One, Two and Four, I tend to find I get a bit bored in Peaky Blinders whenever it gets especially heavy on politics like in Season Three and Five and I admittedly kind of miss the simplicity of the early days of the show when it was about horse-racing, but the Changretta vs Shelby feud was genuinely really gripping and Adrien Brody was also Very Good. (I mean, I couldn’t take him seriously because of Brodyquest, but I like him a lot.) - I HATE GRACE. There, I said it. And honestly I have SO MUCH to say on why I hate her and also why I think she is the epitome of bad writing that has happened on this show that I might as well save it for a whole nother post, but Tommy and Grace’s relationship always felt so unnatural and forced to me, like they are in love because the screenwriter said so - Grace is the only woman Tommy knows who isn’t related to him and also because it pisses off Campbell. Like, she was tolerable if highly irritating in Season One, but then Two came along and she just got worse and worse. She’s annoyingly convinced she’s better than everyone else, pulls off a LOT of questionable shit that NO-ONE except Polly ever pulls her up on and Tommy repeatedly pining over a woman who lied to him and betrayed him makes no goddamn sense. I wish Stephen Knight would just let him get over her, because her showing up over and over again in the show after the bitch died two Seasons ago is so infuriating I want to throw my remote at the TV. The best bit of Season Three was someone finally putting a bullet in her, honestly. /rant - On that note, I really wish that they’d use May properly. She was introduced in Season Two and honestly her chemistry with Tommy is about a thousand times more believable than anything he had with Guuuhrayce and also May doesn’t consistently talk in that annoying, breathy voice and also she doesn’t shamelessly manipulate Tommy constantly. It’s too bad Stephen Knight couldn’t get Charlotte Riley back for Season Three owing to her pregnancy, because I think the trajectory of the show would have been very different. But her scene where she spoke about her husband and tried to hide that she was crying? So good. The fucking Face Tommy gives her when she asks for a mixer in her gin? Priceless. Agh - May’s been chronically underused in the show but she keeps getting mentioned every now and then, so I’m hoping there are plans for her to come back in Season Six. I really like her and I honestly think Tommy/May has been the best relationship he’s had, because it’s the only one that’s felt A) Natural and B) Equal. - Lizzie Stark. Okay, so I have mixed feelings about Lizzie. I liked her in Seasons One and Two, because she was this down-on-her-luck woman who was treated like crap by everyone, but she wasn’t wholly without her own flaws or personality - she did lie to John and Tommy did act in his brother’s best interests to tell him the truth. The scenes she had with Tommy in Season Two when he promotes her to his secretary were honestly very cute and my heart broke for her when that solider nearly (?) raped her in Season Two and she cried in John’s arms. But over time she’s started to irritate me. I know that people feel bad for her because Tommy honestly does treat her badly at times, though other times she’s also one of the few people he’s nice to, their relationship is complicated. But truthfully I don’t see Tommy/Lizzie every working out properly because Lizzie was a whore. She’s always been Tommy’s inferior and while I do think he cares for her, she never seems to think it’s enough. He doesn’t love her enough and she’s never satisfied with it and she’s always resentful of him. But you can’t FORCE someone to love you and it’s interesting that the minute she learned she was pregnant, you could see her thinking of how to make this work. She pulled the Baby Trap on him just like Grace did and got married like she wanted, but Tommy still doesn’t truly see her as his equal. And honestly, I don’t think she’s smart enough for him. Add that to Lizzie being EXTREMELY petty to other women (including her being really rude to May and slut-shaming her - bit rich from you, isn’t it, Lizzie?), and I don’t think they have a healthy relationship. I do like little Ruby a lot (way more than Charles, who is a spoiled brat because he’s Grace’s son and has a martyred dead mummy), but honestly I don’t see Tommy/Lizzie working out. I just hope that she doesn’t leave and take Ruby, I think it’d break Tommy to have his daughter taken away from him. - Alfie Solomons. So...I have to confess I have mixed feelings about Alfie. I liked him in Season Two because he’s batshit crazy, Tom Hardy is clearly having the time of his life and it’s refreshing to have a rival to Tommy who isn’t cartoonishly evil like Billy Kimber or Sabini. He ties into Season Two very well and yeah, I can see why he’s so popular. Also he’s pretty attractive, so that always helps. But. Alfie is starting to come across a bit like a creator’s pet to me. He consistently betrays Tommy every goddamn Season and while I know the fandom love to joke about this, it’s pretty inexplicable that Tommy would bother to continue to do business with him after being burned so many times and now it turns out he’s alive. Why? Why bring Alfie back? I feel like he was brought back because he’s a fan favourite and to add another suspect to who betrayed Tommy. I don’t hate Alfie at all, but I am starting to wish he’d face actual consequences for his actions, considering every Peaky Blinders character who fucks with the Peaky Blinders tend to suffer horribly for it, but not Alfie...for some reason. - Michael. Okay so Michael’s actor is pretty damn good and I thought it was cute that he and John’s actors are actually brother irl - you can see the resemblance. And honestly bringing back Polly’s missing kids was a really clever idea because there’s a family tie, but one that isn’t so strong you can always be sure of where his loyalties lie. His subplot with Father Hughes in Season Three was both very sad and very well done - I was cheering him on the whole way. But Season Five has made my opinion of Michael take a dramatic nosedive. He’s gone from sorta-sympathetic to an entitled brat almost overnight. I get he’s probably salty about being banished to America by Tommy in Season Four, but where has this sudden desire to rule the company come from? How did he meet Gina? Is he lying about Gina being pregnant because he figured it’d win him sympathy? I don’t know. He’s changed so drastically, and when Polly gave him that slap, I think she was doing what everyone wanted to. It’s too bad they just wrote Anna off as being dead, though, Michael having a sister and Polly a daughter would have been interesting. - The music?? Is so good?? I love it! Especially the themesong, obviously, but so much of it is always ON POINT. It makes me wanna buy the entire soundtrack. - Unpopular opinion, but I think Campbell was the best antagonist of the show, mainly because he was a vile person but still believable and had the best dynamic with Tommy.  - Season Five was honestly kind of hit-and-miss for me, it seemed like a lot of people are pissed at Tommy for fairly silly reasons in the beginning and I just didn’t find the political subplot all that interesting...but I still will definitely tune into Season Six. (Also these are all just opinions, so please don’t send me hate if you don’t like something I’ve said. Ain’t nobody got time for that.)