One "tip" (I guess?) that has been revolutionary to me is that you do not have to do things the way they're shown.

I could never get consistent workout routines bc I didn't want to change into workout clothes and then sweat in them and wear sweaty workout clothes but I didn't want to change twice to go from PJs -> clothes -> workout clothes -> PJs (or workout clothes -> clothes) or even; clothes -> workout clothes -> clothes again

Until I realised I can do yoga in my PJs (which are very breathable and won't make me sweat as much) if I have a fan/AC on.

Also, I live out of town so I will straight up go on a 3.5km walk before running into anyone so I can just wear PJs and walk (especially if they look like regular clothes just in case)

Another point being you don't have to follow a single route for a walk - you can set destinations, make it fun (I will walk until I see something yellow then from there until I see something blue, etc.), Or just walk back and forth in the area you're comfortable walking in.

Kill the cop in your head, there is no such thing as cringe.

(I literally use Pokemon go to track how far I go bc I like walking the Pokemon and it keeps a routine that reminds me to walk)

This works for other things to - it doesn't matter how crazy or weird you look so long as you are enjoying it;

I've seen people make a list of chores (sorted by room categories) and give them points based on how difficult they find it and roll a dice to decide which chore to do and then take that many points off a monster with a certain amount of HP. Is that intended for kids? Probably. But it looks like it works and it seems fun

Hell, cosplay as a housewife and put on some dramatic scornful music (I recommend anything written by country women about murdering their husbands or any musical theatre esque songs) to pretend you're cleaning up the scene of your husband's murder.

tbh the best way to be informed about farming practices is to just sit back and listen and watch farmers in their natural habitat like in videos and forums. You cant ask, you just have to lurk. Because once you ask a lot of times they bend the truth to seem more appealing.

You ask a farmer about what the unhealthy feed that is given to cows, and they'll deny it and say the cows only get healthy feed because otherwise the milk or meat would taste bad or whatever

but you just watch videos or go into forums and listen and watch and suddenly they show freely them giving their cows literally left over candy like a 3 fist sized ball of candy

same with cutting wings of bees and the animal abuse that happens etc etc

I dont hate farmers, but i know that 1. a lot of the stuff that happens has to be taught and normalized

and 2. regardless of it being normalized they still recognize its bad enough to lie or skew the information sometimes

Like theres literally a video compiled where one farmer will defend something and say its necessary while another one denies it even happens.

Because thats what people do when theres abuse happening. Either "This is just how things have to be" "Its necessary" "Its not my fault " "They dont feel" or "I dont do that" "We dont do that" "They are happy"

Anyone who knows abuse and people who profit from capitalism as a system, will easily recognize this.

Again, anyone who follows me knows my aim is to help farmers transition to plant based food farming where possible. To provide them with money and resources and education to do so

And to rewild the extra land (and of course #LandBack) etc etc

But you just cant trust someone at face who profits off of the use of a sentient being. Be them human or non human animals

Because their livelihood literally depends on that sentient being.

Idk its just every time i hear "that doesnt happen" and then see literally from the farmers mouth that it happens bc they arent in a defensive position, just reminds me how stupid this whole game is ppl are playing

If youre truly anti capitalist and a leftist then stop acting like a conservative capitalist and actually take this topic seriously

And as always, i will be chanting this when im fucking dead because its so important to me: "AS FAR AS IS POSSIBLE AND PRACTICAL (and necessary) "

Meaning we all should be constantly doing the best we can do, and the best you can do can change over time and is going to be different from everyone else

I add necessary because only you can define what is nescessary for you. 2 people from the same culture , same religion, same everything, can have 2 different views of what is nescessary for themselves to happy, healthy, and comfortable

ANNYYWAAAAY

Spend time in a farmers forum and be critical. Remember that their livelihood depends on the usage of an animal. And remember that not just the wellbeing of an animal matters, but so does the farmers livelihood

And that we should be working towards helping the farmer, AND the animal. Because the industry doesnt just affect farmer and animal. It affects the communities who live near the farms and slaughterhouses and it affects the environment in devestating ways, to name a few

thoughts on banwally. i've never played any of garten of banban so you are my only reference for what happens in those games and consequently, what makes banwally a compelling crackship.

buddy..... you have opened a can of worms you could have never prepared for

when or if I started shipping it: i actually have an exact date, may 29th of last year. everyone in my friends server is really into crackshipping so we like to share random ideas with each other and i posted them as an idea on that date. i have never been the same since

my thoughts: crackships are kind of hard to talk about in this context because there isnt anything canon to go off but ill do my best. when welcome home first started gaining traction i saw a lot of people saying "this is what good mascot horror looks like" (whether or not wh even counts as mascot horror is. debatable.) so me associating banban and wally with each other was already a thing before i started shipping them. at some point i realized they both have a lot in common (monotone voices, often associated with devil imagery, passive most of the time but gets a little Silly with it sometimes) and i was like woah.... they should kiss. again a lot of my thoughts surrounding them are based in headcanon so im struggling to talk about them in a way that doesnt make me sound fucking insane BUT im a sucker for pessimist/optimist ships and they very much fit that to me. i think they balance each other out in a way, wally is a bright spot in the Endless Misery banban deals with on a daily basis, and banban is pretty logical and grounded which levels out wallys spacey-ness. theyre very much a jessica and roger rabbit "he makes me laugh" type of deal but with the fun addition of identity issues and whatever the fuck wallys deal is

what makes me happy about them: the fact that theyre both freaks of nature (banban is a weird clone manmade abomination thing, wally is either straight up an eldritch entity or a manmade puppet with eldritch qualities) is another thing they have in common to me, so i think theyd be accepting of each others weird traits because they know what its like. banban doesnt give a fuck that wally is up to some scp shit, he might as well live in the scp containment facility. theres a kingdom run by a giant kangaroo woman with a magic scepter who is in charge of keeping a bunch of baby demons and the father(?) of those baby demons trapped in her pouch or else the entire kingdom will be destroyed. he has seen weirder. banban wouldnt just love wally because hes handsome and hes nice to people, he loves all of his weird traits too because they arent even weird to him.

what makes me sad about them: they lend themselves pretty well to angst (i hate that word but idk a better one to describe this) because theyre both from horror media, and i like to pelt my favorite characters with hammers so >:) my friends and i (same friends who got me into crackshipping) have a group rp thing going on, and theres a mini arc going on right now based on the fact that banban got SUPER fucked up trying to fight sir dadadoo and his army. wally wants banban to leave the kindergarten because of how dangerous it is, he wants him to live in home where he doesnt need to fear for his life all the time. but despite all the horrors he has to put up with, banban doesnt want to leave everyone in the underground behind. theyre still his friends, and he wants to protect them. as much as wally wants him to be safe, he understands where hes coming from because he wouldnt want to leave his friends behind either. this leaves him feeling really conflicted and confused, and the homewarming update taught us that wally doesnt do well with those kinds of feelings. just some thoughts for yall <3

things done in fanfic that annoys me: nobody except me would wanna write fanfic about them and im too depressed slash lazy to actually write anything so. uh

things I look for in fanfic: see above

my kinks: size difference where the top is the smaller one i have no such things. i am a man of the lord.

who i’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: wallaby (wally/barnaby) is pretty epic so if that ends up being canon i wouldnt be mad lmao. ive also been wondering if wally might end up whoever "w" is (the awayfrompryingeyes.net mod) because clown said theres another ship that will be canon but that he cant talk about because its inherently a spoiler somehow, id be fine with that too. not much to say about banban because gobb doesnt do romance aside from whatever the fuck nabnab and nabnaleena have going on

my happily ever after for them: things finally calm down at the kindergarten to a point where banban feels comfortable leaving to be with wally, and whatever the hell is going on with home also calms down. banban would still visit the others obviously (i think he would introduce some of them to wallys friends, barnaby and bittergiggle would get along super well i think) but he can finally be somewhere where he isnt constantly fearing for his life :]

uhh tldr dont say "what if i shipped this" as a joke. it will become no longer a joke and you will write like a million words about two characters from entirely different media who have never met and never will meet. worst mistake of my life

A lot of people online have been saying that narcs can and should recover. I know that that statement is ableist towards pwNPD, but I wanted to ask someone with the disorder why it’s untrue from personal experience.

(Sorry for bad wording, English is not my first language)

Well I would say recovery is not possible for everyone, if someone wants to recover from npd they can attempt it if therapy is accessible for them though, thats not really ableist. It is ableist to act like thats possible for everyone though, or to act like therapy is always accessible to everyone. This also overlaps with classism and other forms of bigotry because there are barriers to accessing therapy.

Also I do think it is kind of weird they refer to pwNPD as 'narcs' with that phrasing. Some of us do reclaim the term but if egotypicals just use it like that its a little weird and implies they see us as bad since they often use 'narc'/narcissist in a derogatory manner to refer to basically anyone they armchair diagnose as having NPD bc theyre an abuser or somehow just 'unlikeable'.

Even if people with npd do go to therapy, there are unfortunately many professionals who are very ableist towards people with npd and see us as a 'lost cause' or even believe that 'narc abuse' exists - more professionals in psychiatry and psychology should really learn to respect people with npd and should know how to work with us if we decide to go to therapy for it.

Some people with npd may want to recover if they dont feel able to function well at all and they arent able to cope well with their symptoms, and thats okay. Some people may just fundamentally want to be egotypical even if their NPD doesnt necessarily harm themself a lot. It shouldn't be something we are forced to do though, and we can obviously have npd while still respecting others. Some may also not get a choice as people are coerced into undergoing therapy or institutionalised, which is another problem.

One thing I dislike about the whole idea that we should go to therapy and that therapy will magically get rid of our NPD, is that egotypicals (people without npd) tend to ask that we do this for THEIR sake. They can't handle people with npd even existing and don't want to deal with us. They assume we are all doomed to be abusers. They don't seem to give a shit about how WE are negatively impacted by having npd when they say this. It sounds as if they just want npd to somehow be erased from the world.

Either way, peoples autonomy and rights should be respected regarding therapy, and one can go to therapy if they wish. But there is no guarantee therapy will get rid of a personality disorder, and one may need to see a few therapists or counsellors to find one that truly helps them, and there is a safety risk to seeking psychiatric care for many people.

Recovery is not impossible, but people should go about it at their own pace if they seek it and take precautions as professionals in mental health may harm them, and sometimes it means more that you learn ways of coping with your personality disorder (such as skills taught in Dialectical Behaviour therapy) than exactly that it will disappear entirely. We have not gone to any therapy that helped us so far, but if we do, when its safe to for us, we would be cautious about it and gather a lot of information on who we consider as potential therapists or counsellors.

NPD itself cannot exactly be prevented, on another note, some factors that can influence someone developing it, like genetics, environment one grows up in, and trauma, etc. just are not very preventable. Maybe if societal power structures such as the family unit were not given as much power, abuse rates would reduce and there would be less incidence of trauma, but this would not exactly prevent it entirely and would be difficult to actually enact. And Im not sure if the people who want to prevent it just want people with NPD gone in an ableist way, or if they actually give a fuck about our suffering.

I have known of other pwNPD who do go to a counsellor or therapist. I was in a space with other pwNPD and some of them were genuinely helped by therapy - but those people still had NPD, therapy just helped them cope with it. There are probably people who recovered from NPD after therapy, I havent personally met any such people, but I have seen one person claim they used to have NPD then just didn't anymore without even any therapy, not sure how exactly that worked but yeah.

Anyways, the point is, NPD or any other personality disorder is variable like this and it cannot be said for sure that therapy always exactly gets rid of the disorder entirely or is safe for us. And this is often applicable to other mental illnesses and neurodivergence too. Its not ableist to say people can pursue recovery if they want it, but enforcing it as mandatory can err towards ableism, especially if its along with false beliefs about what therapy can do.

Do you have any tips on how to like. Manage insecurity lol

im told i have a pessimistic way of handling this specific thing so take this advice with a grain of salt but i break like all inner issues down into two parts. the practical application and theory

the practical application for managing insecurity is that theres only two states for that thing. can be changed and can’t be changed. if something can’t be changed than worrying is a waste of time. if it can then i can work to change it, then the question is, is it worth it? as in, does making this change serve me as a person or improve my quality of life and am i doing it for the right reason?

the second and more important imo is the theory of insecurity which is why told im kinda pessimistic shfjsnf

but my mindset is basically 1. there’s nothing self-righteous about your misery and 2. thinking you are by some measure uniquely awful is also a complex of thinking you are special.

insecurity is a really insidious things because it places importance on very arbitrary things. and its made so big by social media. you should care about the opinions of people who are important to you and who love you but strangers are just strangers. and people who don’t know you intimately cant make full enough judgements of what makes you good or bad

but ultimately i think of my own self hatred as kind of lame and thats why i dont sink to deep into it anymore. my insecurity is not accurate measure of who am i in the same way my accomplishments aren’t. im not a uniquely evil monster just like im not a heavenly saint

my bodies shaped like that because bodies look like that. my teeth are yellow because sometimes they stain. im annoying sometimes and sometimes im inconsiderate and i isolate often. these are qualities about me i dislike and can feel insecure about but they’re not some machiavellian, radical evil. just like my good traits arent some inherent divine goodness

insecurities are reflections of the world around us and the people we encounter. your insecurities don’t show up out of thin air. they’re brought and imposed upon you through a long life and its normal to have them and working through them is a life long process

but the reason ive gradually become less insecure is because having this intense fixation on my flaws was honestly a massive waste of my time lmao. my miserable and pitiful outbursts were eating away at my long and beautiful life. if i spent even half of the time i did as a young kid worrying about my appearance on literally anything else i might’ve been the next frank ocean. my suffering wasn’t righteous. it didn’t make me special or cool or interesting.

be cringe and weird. be ugly and outdated. be gross and sad. what do you want to see when you look back at your life? beautiful misery or ugly and unkempt joy? its not a fix but it helped me a lot to think that way even if its morbid or pessimistic.

when im insecure the little voice in my head goes “but does it matter?” because i taught to do that. it usually doesn’t matter because a lot if it’s arbitrary. thats my two cents

If I can add to the sex discussion, especially since you mentioned the US in your first post, I think how things like sex and nudity are perceived are very cultural. Personally, the way USamericans talk about sex and nudity freaks me out sometimes. Especially the way all nudity is seen as inherently sexual because it's not! I've been to mixed gender nudist saunas (the default type of sauna in Germany) as young as 8 and I'm pretty sure it's what helped me develop a healthy body image and often mitigates my gender dysphoria because bodies sure come in all different shapes and size. On the other hand I saw an american on reddit say that sharing a bathroom with your own child is creepy?? Or the whole thing about schools mandating that bra straps can't be visible??? Incomprehensible to me.

And it's the same with talking/knowing about sex. The first time I had sex ed in school I was nine, and at age 14 the school invited external educators who taught us how to use condoms so if the time came we be able to do it right. But some years ago I learned that some schools and parents in America think that 15/16 is too early for sex ed. And for me that was like ooohhh okay that explains why American movies always feel so weirdly hypersexual sometimes.

Like tbf my only frame of reference for how Americans are about sex is movies etc and how they talk online, and my own upbringing is on the liberal end compared to other Germans but it makes sense to me that if sex is treated as something forbidden while growing up, people end up treating it as this super special thing once they are adults rather than just a thing some humans do.

(Sorry for the wall of text I just find the cultural differences in that area super fascinating)

Yes 100% thats why i specifically mentioned the US cus i know a ton of countries arent as fucking weird as we are, that being said i still think sex should be more casual/normalized than even the more chill countries but again idk a lot cus ive only lived here

personally i got lucky and also had sex ed at 9 and then a couple times more in depth after that but a LOT of states either dont do it at all or like u said do it very late, plus the sex ed i did get was absolutely ass but it was something at least

i think a lot of it comes from this weird puritanical christian basis our country seems to b running on? so the views of sex and nudity are based on that so its the very like Save Yourself For Marriage thing , dont show anyone ur naked body cus that means u suck or something idk

its gotten a lot better w the waiting til marriage specifically, and i think socially its getting a bit better in general but legally, with things like bathrooms and like u said w the school dress codes, it is absolutely not improving, maybe one day 😭

Sorry to drag on the antis and kin thing, but hi! Ive been in otherkin spaces for 10+ years and I can say that everyone is sort of right here- it is both coming from antis invading our spaces and using us as talking points and doing the kff 'steal our serious words to mean 'I project on a fictional character' thing AND from kin who havent been taught appropriate 'kin manners' so to speak.

See back in the forum days it was generally understood you Never Ever went into fandom talking about 'kin and how fandom effects you as fictionkind. It was understood that they were engaging with fictional cutout dolls that just happened to mirror your experiences (in past life or otherwise)to an uncanny degree. It was understood you did not make your kintype the fandoms problem, and more importantly Never Ever made it the creators problem. If fandom negatively effected you, that was a YOU problem, not that they were evil or whatever for playing pretend.

We used to be able to teach people to manage this stuff dammit!

With the advent of tumblr and its telephone game, it sort of ruined the ability to make sure newbies were given this sort of coaching or knew the oft unspoken rules. Newbies(often YOUNG newbies) now high on tumblr sj and newly Awakened and having not yet integrated their experiences, then started doing the things that they were once told to not do but no longer were(helped along by tagging culture and broken search). You would see kin in the fandom maintags, you see kin talking to small-time creators of their source, things that used to be opt in to see were put in front of those who might feel profoundly upset about it. These people, not knowing the most important part of being fictionkin(and many other 'woo' ey communities like astral travelers and immersive daydreamers) is how to integrate it safely into your life so you dont start eroding your ability to tell fiction(people writing fictional characters being hurt) from reality(terrible things happening to *you*) and that if you are struggling with that you should be seeking therapy instead.

The real problem was the advent of Yandere Bitch Club. Maybe not them specifically, but they popularized the 'kinning is a social justice act' thing because they wanted to be the Most Valid version of their kintypes. They also were white cis women racefaking, pretending to be trans women, and faking DID and having been actually caught doing so iirc. They sent gore to people and threatened them for 'kinning outside your race'. Which is a concept that has a lot of problems im not getting into. Because it sounded 'sj-ey' enough, people hopped on the bandwagon, kin and nonkin alike. They may not have been the first people to claim this, but they certainly popularized it. When people said 'hey kin isnt a cute fun choice, this is serious and integral to our identity' the tune became 'saying this is not a choice is racist then, it totally is a choice and not that serious' because that was the only way to keep their point held up.

About at this time things like 'you cant kin an abuse survivor' and 'if you arent a gay man specifically you cant have a gay man kintype' and 'if you have a exomemories of abuse and arent an abuse survivor thats ableist' and other inane policing of integral identity. This went hand in hand with anti-ism almost always.

This is when KFF started getting real bad, because it became a performative faux social justice thing because otherwise their 'no im the most valid' wouldnt hold up anymore. Kin was telephoned to mean 'like family, relating to' instead of Kind shortened to Kin as in 'identifying as, like mankind'.

On both these fronts is where the 'antis who are kin' thing comes from. Same with the huge amounts of plural folks who are antis. A lot of these people are abuse survivors who drank the radfem kool aid unknowingly then because they have no good outlets and want to feel valid enough they start hurting others and with the encouragement of antis using them as a tool of violence ('see this person had a panic attack because they saw that bad ship art!' its materially hurting The Real Character) and often eroding their ability to keep those fiction-reality boundaries separate you end up with the droves of people who are antis like this.

Antis destroyed a community that was older than they are. Fictionkin tags used to have like 30+ active posters, you used to see them frequently on forums, now they have all but vanished in part because if you were too problematic in public theyd skin you for it and in part because they encouraged people to end up with terribly unhealthy relationships to their source, and in part because antis saw it as a tool to hit people with if they went 'oh im x then' (as in related to the character) and then went 'that means I can harass others and have it mean something'.

Those goku-against-ddlg and 'ed-against-elricest or whatever blogs often used to be run by either 14 y/o kin who were encouraged to have no boundaries with reality or KFF using fictionkin as a bludgeon to attack fandom. They were a staple of anti-ism in 2016 or so for a reason. These blogs used to actively encourage eroding fiction-reality boundaries and actively and (I strongly suspect)intentionally used to trigger their followers so they became a rabid hoard of hurt kids to throw at the target of the week.

There is a reason now so many fandomfolk hate otherkin and its going to be so hard to patch that because of what antis did to both our communities and it sucks real bad.

So theres the dumbest wank history I know guess! Sorry for the psychic damage.

--

hii sorry for the weird question! how should I deal with someone who may be unintentionally manipulating or guilt tripping me? if they're not doing it intentionally I don't want to upset them by bringing it up but if they are I want to let them know that I don't like it. is it possible?

so theres. a lot to unpack here but im gonna start with the fact that just because bringing something up is going to upset someone to hear doesnt mean u shouldnt say it. especially if that thing is that they are mistreating and hurting u

it's pretty much always going to upset someone to hear that the way theyre acting is negatively affecting u. like thats just kind of human nature, they're probably going to get upset and defensive but again, that doesnt mean u shouldnt say something. it is their job to manage their distress at hearing something upsetting, it is not ur job to never upset them

but also, its extreamly concerning that for some reason, if they're doing it unintentially u wouldnt want to bring it up? so ur fine with someone hurting u so long as they dont realize they're hurtintg u? that makes absolutely no sense to me. if someone is treating u poorly, it shouldnt really matter if they know they're doing it or not. u have a right to be treated properly in healthy ways and a right to speak up for urself when that's not happening, no matter what. especially because most people who manipulate and guilt trip and do other negative and harmful behaviors like that, are doing so unintentially. there is no such thing is as the boogeyman master manipulator whose doing all this stuff on purpose to hurt u because theyre a cartoon villain. most people are just normal people who are making selfish decisions without considering or caring how those decisions are going to affect u

but to finally address the actual question, usually its helpful to address the situation directly, but with compassion. and to be as direct as possible. "in x situations, u respond with y, which makes me feel z" i think a lot of times people try to be vague when bringing up issues they're having with someone because they think that will hurt the other persons feelings less, but i find that being less specific is often just counter productive and leads to more issues.

approaching the situation from a place of mutual problem solving and not blame is also probably gonna work the best. things like guilt tripping and manipulation are usually maladaptive defense mechanisms, people do them because they havent been properly taught how to handle interpersonal conflicts in non abusive ways. most likely theyve learned that direct communication doesnt work and will get them abused and so they have to do things like guilt trip in order for their feelings to be taken seriously and have their needs met. so if u start the conversation with stuff like "ur manipulating and guilt tripping me" it's probably gonna make them defensively dig thier heels in and double down and its gonna be harder to get through to them

using language that lets them know that u do care about them and arent going to punish them, but also their behavior needs to change, is usually most effective. framing things as "theres an issue i think we can solve together, heres what i need from u, what are some things u need from me to help make that happen?" as opposed to "ur doing something wrong and u have to fix it" usually works really well

Has loneliness/isolation ever been something you’ve had to cope with? I’m struggling real bad. Any thoughts/insight as to how to move through a season or time in your life where you don’t really have a social life due to decline in physical/ mental health? Feeling like I don’t really have anybody around. Feeling constant fomo. Feeling bittter when I see images of bonds and connections and experiences. Idk but I’m struggling. Thank you for your time with this 🤍

yes! lol r u kidding me. a lot of what your describing is a feeling and perception i was heavily wrapped up in when i first made this tumblr which is interesting cause i cant help but reflect on that as i write this answer. bare with me if this is a little long, but its because that period of time taught me a lot of things. — for example, loneliness has a lot more to do with having a lack of direction than it does a lack of affection. often if we arent confident in who we are and what we want, we lack the intent necessary to magnetise the situations and relationships that we truly desire to us. this manifests in 'disorder', or a discord between our internal and external reality, which in turn causes us to suffer or feel longing toward what we feel is missing— this further fuels the mindset and feeling that we are lacking something or missing out on the fun others are having.

keys to resolving this in my personal experience were taking complete accountability for the entire experience that is my life. radical acknowledgement, then acceptance, of my thoughts emotions was the first step to doing this. for example, id acknowledge that i was completely alone and isolated from my peers or a support network, but i began to realise i should still feel like im in good company with myself. i should still feel like a support system to myself. so i began to do what could i do to maximise my enjoyment in day to day life, or even preparing myself for that enjoyment to begin to occur. this began to uncover and heal traumas that were key to me improving my mental and physical health. it also taught me how to reverse engineer that principle, as when i began physically tending to myself (showering, preparing food for my body, going on walks, laughing, drinking water) i began to demonstrate and thus feel the love and nurturing i wanted to receive from others, and in tapping into the energy began to generate momentum around giving and receiving love and connection between myself and others. people love people who love themselves because love breeds love and feels good to be around, but also because only someone who loves themselves can teach someone how they like the be loved. finding contentment in yourself will not only attract people to you but will allow you to know yourself and advocate for yourself in a manner that keeps a quality control on who and what you let around you. this accountability, and the self confidence & integrity it begins to build internally, creates a surrendering where you can begin to hold space for yourself as you are, and in doing so bring light to how your shadow side operates. an example of this would be making space to see and understand your feelings of bitterness. by sitting in the acknowledgment of your bitterness to others having fun or connection your not involved in, you can begin to understand that your thoughts and feelings are neither good or bad, theyre just your body bringing your desire to be seen, heard, loved, connected, and intimate, to your attention. if you can sit with and understand this to a point where you no longer feel pangs of dis-ease, then you can find love toward that part of yourself without judging or resenting it as 'bad' 'unloving' or 'mean', cause the reality is its just you showing yourself you want a fundamental human desire, to be loved.

there was sum else i wanted to say but i forgot lol so ill leave u with this, whilst everyone wants to be seen heard and loved not everyone knows that the only way to truly be satiated in the security those feelings bring is to truly hear, see, love and show up for yourself. for even if you receive the perfect relationships if you betray or sacrifice yourself for what you think is the benefit of them you'll pray the same price in a different way. —just know the very fact you want to grow is an indication of your heart and intent and aids your success in this. you cant make a mistake or mess it up because thats part of the lesson, and this process in itself is strengthening you to stand from within yourself in a way that will change how you feel about yourself, but will also allow others to see elements of you that are deeply beautiful but currently hidden from both you and them. keep your head high & know your not alone <3

why are sysmeds so 'source: trust me' about everything

'do you have any proof that endos dont exist?' 'yeah, common sense'

you cant make a point about psychology and have no source, especially if you arent a psychologist.

they just arent aware that actual psychologists disagree with their point and then hide behind "we believe in science"

I think you answered your own question. 🤪

Looking at science and listening to the opinions of scientists is hard. Reading a blog that claims science agrees with you and doing zero follow-up research is easy.

I feel that it's a lot like how many Christians will base their opinions on what a preacher says about what's in the Bible, rather than the actual text of the Bible. There's this very pseudo-religious air with how the anti-endo community approaches science. Very rarely will sources be used. And when they are, they almost never support the point being made.

If you replace the word "science" with "Gospel" then their whole attitude starts making more sense.

To them, science isn't a process of learning filled with many voices challenging each other. It's statements of absolute truth. And like with many religions, they throw out the parts that don't support them and unquestioningly cling to those that do, or those that they can twist to give the appearance of supporting them, while covering this up with vague platitudes like "I believe in science(/the Gospel)."

The fact that they're approaching science as religion also would explain why they so often mix moral arguments with scientific ones, and attempt to look for ways to invalidate or dismiss the science based on morality.

I still can't get over a prior conversation when I pointed to the study into the Vineyard Evangelicals talking to God, and anti-endos responded by mentioning how predatory the Vineyard church is. And... Okay... Sure... That's not wrong. But I can't possibly see how that factors into the current conversation. I'm not endorsing the practices of the Vineyard church by citing a psychological study into their members who engage in a practice that lets them carry out two-way conversations with "God." I'm just demonstrating the existence of the psychological phenomenon with accounts of the method of achieving it.

The morality of the subject of the study is just completely irrelevant to the topic at hand, but they seem incapable of separating the science from morality, and I think this plays into the whole pseudo-religious view they've taken towards the idea of science.

Okay, I'm going to go on an even less relevant side tangent below that's completely removed from the current topic...

I still roll my eyes every time I think of that old callout post accusing me of ignoring "abusive sources" in reference to that. The "source" isn't even the what's being accused of abusive behavior. The subject is in a matter completely unrelated to the study.

But also, studies like the Milgram obedience experiment or the Stanford Prison Experiment, while considered unethical, are taught in every basic psychology course. Similarly, treating patients through lobotomy is horrible and monstrous, but the data we gathered from patients like HM was invaluable to understanding the functioning of human memory. Those things may be immoral, but the data from those terrible practices has provided huge amounts of information for modern psychology. We should obviously never do those things again and clearly shouldn't have done them in the first place, but at the same time, you wouldn't tell a psych professor that they can't teach any information that was obtained through these studies.

Science needs to be conducted in a way that is ethical and doesn't cause harm to subjects. I agree with that. But ethics also has no bearing on the validity of data from studies already conducted. "You shouldn't conduct this experiment because it's unethical" is a good and valid position. "You can't cite this study because it was unethical" would be silly and isn't at all how science works.

Again, the study I cited in this instance was completely ethical regardless of other accusations against the subject of the study in other contexts. I just wanted to get that off of my chest, because I could easily see someone applying the same logic to say that the Milgram Obedience Experiment can't be cited because it's an "abusive source." Or even that every contribution Stanley Milgram made to the field is invalid because HE'S an "abusive source."

Sorry for the tangent.

@memecology Cutting you out bc there was a comment on that thread i didn't care for

But this is exactly what i mean when i talk about Veganism. (Possitive post)

Veganism has a specific need to be considered by the term Vegan (which really isnt anything but descriptive of philosophy) and that is that a core value, as in morals, philosophy wtvr, is that we all and individually should do our best to avoid all unnecessary animal exploitation.

And not everyone believes that. Some people have different ideas of what is nescessary, etc.

and that looks different for everyone bc we arent all the same or in the same situation. what im able to do might differ from you. I take pills tested on animals and have animal products in them. This i cant help and its not possible to stop. Maybe for someone else they are able to. We could both still call ourselves vegan

But a lot of people arent by definition, vegan. They are plant based, meaning they consume a plant based diet and stick with it for other reasons like understanding the ecological impact, but might otherwise not believe that animals are sentient or for whatever reason, the definition of veganism doesnt resonate with them

and thats fine.

This person isn't vegan by definition because they dont agree with the definition, but they do eat a plant based diet which would make them plant based.

Not every vegan can eat 100% plant based. and its ridiculous to expect every single person to be able to do that, or to say that regardless of what they believe and regardless of how hard theyre trying to avoid animal exploitation- that they cant call themselves vegan bc they are incapable of eating 100% plant based?

You cant be Blank if you make mistakes. You can't be Blank if you are physically unable to do something

And in cases where someone lets it slide like "oh youre allergic to most plant based food so you get a pass. you can eat animal products but still call yourseld vegan" like whos deciding this? wheres the line drawn and the criteria to figure whos got a pass?

But yeah, veganism isnt about us and what we call ourselves. all it tells you is what we commonly believe as a philosophy.

I am vegan and 100% plant based. Which means i go by the definition, and my diet consists of only plants (except for things i cant avoid like certain medications).

This person is Plant based but not vegan. And thats fine because its not anyones job to focus on individuals and quiz them and all that.

The goal is to do our individual best, to provide information, to change what we can, so that it makes it more accessible and easier for people to make more plant based and vegan decisions. Meaning deciding to eat alternatives, or deciding not to buy leather or go to a zoo or circus that directly supports animals for entertainment. or even just choosing an anti acid that doesnt have gelatin in it even though you might not like it as much. small decisions that can still add up in terms of an impact

I could easily drop the title of vegan. it doesnt matter. what matters is that we all are doing what we can, and that we challenge what we know and accept that things are different than how we were taught.

what matters is actually being honest with what you are able to do and arent. and to never stop asking your self.

It took me a long time to switch to plant based gum. I was honest with myself that i got non vegan gum because it was convienent and cheaper.

my goal was to switch to vegan gum. this was something that took me a year to finally make the switch indefinitely

i pushed myself, made reasonable sacrifices (not getting it when i wanted it because it wasnt vegan) and eventually got myself to a point where it was easy to choose vegan

The whole point is that i kept at it. i didnt point the finger at myself, but i kept at it and eventually changed.

Thats all it is. Getting my mindset to align, to see past the gum and see how it was made and the impact and that i was paying for that when I could just go to a different store and buy a plant based version.

Anyway yeah. Labels dont matter in the end, but when it does matter is when talking about choice. Necessity.

Veganism should be a gateway into conversation not some strict "you have to do this or else you cant call yourself this".

What matters to me is that we are constantly working on being better individually and collectively. And thats why id rather work with people rather then focus on what they are or arent doing

Idk if that makes sense im half asleep but i appreciate this comment. I think that maybe theres some information this person doesnt have or else they logically would consider themselves vegan

but i honestly dont care. im open for people to come to me, but im not going to waste my time on individual people.

Best thing to do is spread info, provide sources, so that people come to their own conclusions. that they feel comfortable making changes. that they find it fun to explore a new way of thinking or living

etc etc im typing too much ive said all this before sorey

Hello :) this is very random but I feel like I need to get this off of my chest so we will see where this goes. I just wanted to say thank you for not making elain just an absolute monster in you fics. (I mean you definitely can if you want but from what I have seen you don’t) I don’t even know why it means so much to me. I think it might because I feel like I relate to her a little (or quite a bit) and for good or bad.

But I think we all can relate to her a little bit, from situations and the things life throws at us, to personality traits or beliefs, I think there is something we can all relate to elain at least a little.

So why do others make her this monster? Because she is boring? Because she wasn’t in a book as much as other characters? Because of her trauma response? Because she didn’t help feyre growing up? (I feel like this reason only works if said person does not like neesta as well, but every one l o v e s neesta now)

These may be reasons she is not your favorite character, but not reasons to make her the absolute monster a lot of people and fic writers make her out to be. She may not be a real live person, or fae if you will, but she and the other characters live in our hearts, our stories, the books, and how we talk about them and tell others about the stories/characters. Maybe it is because I relate to her, or maybe I see that there is more to her story then what we have been given, but my heart hurts when she is turned into a horrible character in fics. Could Sarah J Maas turn her into a character that is mean and nasty, sure, but she hasn’t. So I don’t see why people make her this big monster that they absolutely hate.

To make a very long story short, thank you for not making elain into the big scary monster that some people have made her, because for some reason it means a lot to me :) (also sorry this is all over the place and probably confusing)

Okay, THIS.

Let me preface this by saying I LOVE a good Elain/Reader angst/brawl (I also live for drama). But to me, Elain is not a malevolent character.

I think we (including myself) tend to forget that the Archeron sisters were children when a lot of their trauma occurred. Feyre was small when their mom died which puts Elain being not much older. I think its easy to separate them as characters and attribute characteristics to them while forgetting that she ALSO had extreme trauma occur.

To me, Elain is often seen in the fanfic world as too in love with Azriel to be kind to other characters. In reality, Elain just seems terrified to me. She doesn't want to be with Lucien because she wants choice. She doesn't want to be a fae, she doesn't want to give up the life she had JUST gotten back. Who else do we know that didn't want to do things because it was forced? Feyre. So why demonize Elain?

Elain is described as having enjoyed the life they lived prior to losing their money. She is by all means the "maiden" archetype for a large amount of the series.

I like writing Elain as a softer and more approachable character because in my head she is. Let's not forget that she was also hardly a late teen when she was kidnapped, and hardly a preteen when their life fell to shit initially. She had never been taught to do things on her own and never been forced to do them. Did she help Feyre? no. But lets keep in mind that Elain was so far into being groomed into a courtier that she didn't even know how to help herself.

I ramble on all of this to say: You arent alone in how you feel. Everything I just said is not to discredit people who write Elain in this way (hell I have some drafts that are anti-elain) but I also think, like anon said, we should keep the field and even playing ground. I (for a long time) was anti-Elain AND anti-nesta (i still have some thoughts on her). But at the end of the day all three sisters are incredibly different characters who responded to their trauma in the best way they knew how.

Thank you for enjoying my writing and sharing your thoughts <3 I love discussing different views/opinions of my work and the ACOTAR series in general!

Please feel free to message me anytime about anything! I loveeeee to talk (this goes for everyone!!!<3333)

Wills Loyd and Hanford - 10/31/22

Hanford, E. (2021, January 25). Why aren't kids being taught to read? Why aren't kids being taught to read? | Hard Words | APM Reports. Retrieved October 29, 2022, from https://www.apmreports.org/episode/2018/09/10/hard-words-why-american-kids-arent-being-taught-to-read 

Big Ideas:

Reading does not come to the brain naturally, must be drilled explicitly

The school's literacy instruction they observed is simply, awful

There is a debate on whether children should be taught phonics or how to read whole words when first learning to read

Nuggets:

I found a lot of things throughout this text very interesting. It gave me a whole new perspective to literacy education that I never thought about before.

I never realized that reading is not something we do naturally, and that we do not pick it up automatically

I was so interesting to me how the Bethlehem schools taught their reading instruction, it made me feel really bad for those kids, but I am glad they were able to turn it around

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wills Loyd , J. (2021). Smoke Signals In Reading Education . specialeducationtoday.com. Retrieved October 29, 2022, from https://www.specialeducationtoday.com/p/smoke-signals-in-reading-education 

Big Ideas:

There is an ongoing debate on whether beginning reading instruction should promote fundamental or higher order skills

There is a three cue method of using semantic cues, syntactic cues, and orthographic cues to help beginning readers pronounce words when they are reading

Systematic and explicit instruction help learners know what to do and helps them to understand the fundamentals

Nuggets:

I never really thought about there being so many debates on literacy, and ones that are so heated too

I knew that systematic and explicit instruction was very important from talking about it in Instructional Design, but I did not realize the specific benefits that it offers to students

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Readerly Exploration: Hanford- (Choose an excerpt from your assigned reading and share with a family member to get their insight and perspective on it)

When taking a look at Hanford's article, there was so many interesting things that stuck out to me while I was reading. The observations from the Bethlehem elementary schools was mind-blowing to me, and it really forced me to reflect on my own teaching and what I am currently seeing in my field experience. I had already talked to my mom about literacy in the past, but since I had him with me I wanted to ask my boyfriend, Caleb about this article. He has heard me talk a lot about literacy and about my experiences in education and has taken an interest in it himself. Even though he does not have any experience, he loves to chime in and talk to me about his own opinions in education. He works in HVAC, so he does not have any direct experience with education other than his own educational journey in school, but he is very opinionated and was excited to talk to me about this. When I asked Caleb about his opinion on this, he responded with a very long-winded answer.

"I think teachers should teach how to read whole words to beginning readers because it allows them to have a basis to base all their knowledge off of when it comes to literacy. For example, if you know the word "know" you can build a lot of words off of that just by knowing that root word such as "known," or "knew." Phonics does not allow that to happen right away. Phonics is not an exact way of learning in my opinion, because words make different sounds on their own versus when they are put into words. There are so many rules to phonics that you cannot cover all of them when you are teaching sounds to beginners. Consonants and vowels make different sounds when they are paired together versus when they are not," Caleb said.

My mom ended up chiming in on this anyway after hearing Caleb and I talking and having a small debate about this (yes, it got intense). My mom said, "My opinion from the way I learned in school versus the way you learned [Me, Morgan], I felt like kids were way further ahead doing phonics as shown by the kid writing you did in kindergarten. There was a dramatic improvement in you [Me] and your classmates writing and spelling skills by the end of the year. I felt kids were way further ahead going into first grade knowing how to communicate already and how to write that someone can understand what they are writing." My youngest sister even chimed in as she walked in the door from volleyball practice, and she agreed with my mother.

I am really glad this sparked such a great conversation between some of my family members and Caleb, because this is something I was really interested in after reading, and really got me thinking about which strategy is better when teaching beginning readers how to read and how to write. This will definitely be in the back of my head, and I was really intrigued by the article and by the conversation. It was nice to drag someone else into my world of education and talk about that.

Evidence:

Here is Caleb and I talking about the article by Hanford

Thank you! I kinda just. Realized i pay for all my own stuff & have for years so whats stopping me y'know. Oh we love to hear about the fall of far right leadership i hope that turns out well & you can get your eventual hrt as well. Oh yeah i never wear swimsuits to the beach typically. Always been with people i dont like or too many strangers for my liking. But i like to find seashells & stuff. Oh? English is such a weird language having a partner to learn from who's fluent is like. Required almost. So im glad you had one. I appreciate when people are chill as long as you try its nice & leaves room for mistakes that'll happen inevitably. Got confused for a moment & the concept of having a birthname you dont have listed in your bio lost me like. What do ya mean you had any different name what. Both mine are easy so i dont have that as a first name problem. Where is tromso? I wish you luck in that fall/winter trips are so nice. I especially love to go camping in them because less people so more space. Oh she just gets all the counters wow. Gonna have to focus on her a bit for sure. I dont know if i have enough for guaranteed kafka but i will probably try. Just to see what happens. If nothing else i hope bronya or welt come home for you. Fontaine is one of the regions im most interested in so ill stick through for it but i might squeeze a break in towards natlan honestly. Chasm was. A pain anyways i do not blame you for skipping it honestly. Thats an average day in warsaw? Wild. Ohhh that sounds like it was a blast please pass belated birthday wishes to avery for me. Hair dye is such a fun thing to do congrats on the red! I wanna dye mine again soon. Eyeliner is a thing i wanna teach myself to do too ive just been. Forgetting a lot

yeah thats very understandable!!! and thank you!! after a long time i finally feel at least a little hopeful ab this countrys future but well see. yeah i have the exact same thing but at the same time drying a lot of clothes is Annoying [esp on camps since thats the main place i actually go into the water on] so i often just put regular clothes over a swimsuit. win-win situation. seashells ARE fun to find but i always forget to bring sth to carry them sjdjflksjf plus its pretty hard to find actually nice ones, over here at least. YEAH god plus the way english is taught in polish schools does NOT help so honestly if i didnt have additional lessons i probably wouldnt have learned anything despite studying for a looooong time. and yeah its that way with almost anything isnt it. AH I DO THAT EXACT THING SO OFTEN i genuinely forget that people Have birthnames. or even names in general i just treat usernames as first names a lot of the time. tromso is the place in norway i was in!! pretty far up north but very charming. thank you!! ahhh i almost never go camping but perhaps One Day..... yeah clara has been my best friend ever since i got her. shes so fun to use. thankies and good luck to both of us!!! already got 106 pulls ready + the 9 more from the login event + 20 days left to grind so while i defo wont get enough for guarantee i think it might be possible for me to get her. honestly the region im most excited for is snezhnaya and thats gonna be the last one released iirc so. still a while until that happens. but at least when/if i come back im gonna have a lot of stuff to check out so thats fun. i unfortunately suffer from having to see everything thats new Immediately so i often speedrun new versions in 3 days and them im like....... What Now........ until the next update and then the cycle repeats. ah i should play more games that arent released this way. but yeah while the chasm was quite pretty imo and the story was. well. it wasnt STUNNING but it was fun. but the exploration aspect SUCKED good lord i hated how i could never quite tell if im in the region displayed on the map or below it. agh. glad thats over. and well yknow how it is with big cities, at least i live in a fairly peaceful part so we dont really have big stuff like that often. i will!! and thanks!! i agree hair dye IS very fun but unfortunately my hair texture makes it really hard for dye to stick so it washes off quickly :'] but alas. and yeah fair jdjfklg i have the same thing PLUS. its annoying i can never get it even

Saw JJK spoilers &... I REALLY want to read the new chapter now 😭😭😭

I don't mind angst/dark story lines though, so I'm actually looking forward to it but I will say I was/am hoping for a sort of twist ending where things turn out okay with JJK despite how much dark stuff happens BUT I can't say I have high hopes for that currently but regardless I really don't necessarily mind.

Regardless of if things go to shit or turn out okay I would like for the other woman characters to get more limelight before dying (because everyone/main are dying most likely so I don't think killing off the girl/woman characters is necessarily a bad thing but like... give them more screentime especially since there are more male characters so it's little uneven).

__________________

Not 100% related but reminds me of thoughts I had when I saw someone talking about how basically because it's shonen you shouldn't bother with complaining/critiquing about sexism in the medium because it is meant for boys... okay that isn't EXACTLY what they said but it's honestly what it amounts to (or maybe it was basically what they said, Idk, I have one pretty shitty memory).

And it just reminds me of when people have legit criticisms of western cartoons, specifically racism, and people will disregard the criticism because 'its a cartoon, what do expect it for kids it not serious etc," and like.... do y'all not personally care what our kids (I don't have kids, I'm using 'our kids' because regardless of if I or you have kids or not all adults are responsible for children to some capacity because I believe in community & how we are responsible for each other especially marginalized people like disabled ones) are consuming media wise because... that's concerning.

I do get that some people don't believe that media doesn't have any influence on us though & that's honestly fine ur allowed to think whatever BUT regardless you should realize that while that argument does work for adults doesn't work too well with kids whose whole purpose while being kids is to learn as much as they can from the stuff around them because they are new humans who don't know anything that hasn't been taught to them.

Sure you can argue it's the parents job to make sure they are watching the right kind of stuff & I agree to an extent because yes parents should be aware of what their kids watch for various reasons but also should be making sure they arent watching stuff that is not meant for their age BUT that's as far I think it should go because once you start controlling EVERY SINGLE THING your kid can watch, read, etc it starts to feel to them less like your protecting them and more like you don't trust them & want complete control over their lives (which I the case for some parents honestly, many people see their children as things/objects and no as individual humans).

Now yes, it is the parents job to make sure their kids don't get the wrong ideas & speak with them about what they read, watch, etc BUT that's putting a lot of responsibility on just what is normal 1-2 people. Which is why I said this is a community problem, not just a parent one because they aren't magically able to know everything about their kid & honestly they probably shouldn't because kids should be entitled to privacy just like adults are.

And also not to mention not all adults have the time or resources to be able to discuss with their kids about the media they are consuming all the time or at all such as poor and/or disabled parents/guardians and NO the solution to that is not 'poor/disabled shouldn't have kids" because thats just eugenics and you should feel bad for thinking only rich people are allowed to have children.

So besides just talking with kids about what they consume media wise I think what is also very important to this topic is that we SHOULD be encouraging critique of what is being made, advertised, marketed towards children so that this stuff CAN improve & so that regardless of who the kid and their background they aren't continued being spoon fed shitty regressive ideas unchallenged.

Also also reminds me of some people claiming ANYONE who feigns concern for media targeted to kids is just fox news/republicans who just hate gay people & yeah they do use the argument of concern for kids A LOT as an excuse for bigotry BUT can we admit it's a faux concern? Like can we TRY to learn there is a difference between faux and real genuine concern and learn to spot it because it REALLY isn't that hard, tbh.

Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!

Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust

i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?

like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)

Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:

Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???

Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt

Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn

both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it

YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway

It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)

Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!

It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting

I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them

Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it

and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe

and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it

Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%

You first!!! Always! :)

Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!

Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.

And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.

The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.

Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!