#Why did I do this?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rythmicjea · 24 days

Text

NEW FIC DEBUT!

I promise you this story is NOT what you are expecting...

10 notes · View notes

turninthefrickenfrogsgay2 · 1 month

Text

My brain has blessed(cursed?) me with this shit.

I'm so sorry for this.

Please don't bully me, but. I've been thinking about, like, what if UA decided to, oh idk, "remake" Hazbin Hotel or something. Like, live action with UA teachers n maybe some students? And post it on a UA official website or something? I swear, there's something wrong with my brain. At first I've been thinking about it as a joke, but I dont think it's a joke anymore, man. Like, I made this a whole thing. Basically, this is what I'm thinking:

Nezu decides to remake Hazbin Hotel starring the teachers (and students if they wanna join) for some reason. So, they make sets and costumes and shit. They make a cast and, what's this?, Aizawa and Yamada are Vaggie and Charlie? (Of course I made this an erasermic thing.) They agree, albeit reluctantly, and things are going great, until. the More Than Anything reprise. Y'know, the scene where Charlie and Vaggie KISS?

This is stupid and im not gonna continue this idea👍 Do with this information what you will, I don't even know why I posted this.

6 notes · View notes

riomsworld · 1 year

Text

Okay I am currently planning out a fanfic that I recently started writing, that’s why I started rewatch and write down every information that I would find useful. But while I did that I found out something interesting or rather something that I found interesting.

You see, through the whole series we learn more and more about the Jupiter Jim franchise, and it’s a lot, considering it is not mentioned that often in the series. The show really manages to paint a picture of this small little franchise within it self , it’s really insane if you think about it.

Like I started to write down some information, thinking to myself that It would be a fun side detail to add in my fanfic but then the list got longer, and longer…

So I decided to post everything I got, to maybe help other fanfic authors that might need this information and to maybe entertain some others.

But quick disclaimer: this is not everything, I am sure that I missed some details from the show but I do believe this is a majority of information we got.

Sorry for my bad english, and please enjoy! :3

All the Jupiter Jim movie

We know that there are 80 movies total, we only know the Titels of 69- 71 (don’t worry I’ll explain later why this number is a rough estimate)

The names of the movie titles we know are :

~ Jupiter Jim saves a cat

~ Jupiter Jim and the robo-blood suckers

~ Jupiter Jim and the shark people from planet shark

~ Jupiter Jim on planet Reptelia

~ Jupiter Jim and the invisible blaster from seta alpha 9

~ Jupiter Jim Time warp

~ Jupiter Jim sails the seven galaxies

~ Jupiter Jim - Pluto vacation IV

~ Jupiter Jim Last trip to the moon

~ Jupiter Jim Last trip to the moon 2

~Jupiter Jim Last trip to the moon 60

~ Jupiter Jim Second to last trip to the moon

-Jupiter Jim's third last trip to the Moon

( quick side note: I love the detail that the solutes of the aliens on the movie poster of Jupiter Jim on planet Raptelia , look like Raph and Leo )

Okay, now that you see the movie posters maybe you now understand why I can only give the the rough estimate of movie titels we know and why the number is so high

We know that there are 60 „last trip to the moon „ Movies , but we don’t know if they are all titelt that same way. Yes, the three Titel cards we are shown all have the same naming scheme „Jupiter Jim and the last trip to the moon“ with a number at the end announcing its placement in the mountain of sequels, however in the same episode we get to see them (which is repo mantis by the way ) Mikey mentioned another movie Titel in the „trip to the moon“ saga, „Jupiter Jimmy’s second to last trip to the moon“.

Now we now it’s not the second movie in the franchise, because we see it’s Titel card meaning it must be somewhere in between, but that indicates that there a movies in the saga that are named differently, meaning that we might not know all the „last rip to the moon „ movie Titels, but maybe it is just that one movie that is named differently, who knows?

The second reason I am not sure with the numbers of movie titles we know , is Pluto vacation IV. Is Pluto VC IV only named that way because it’s the fourth movie in the franchise? Or are there at least 3 other Pluto VC movies?

My guess is that it’s the later, considering that naming a movie Pluto VC IV would be an odd name to give a stand alone movie, but it’s Jupiter Jim we are talking about, everything is possible here.

Now we have that out of the way…

Characters in the Jupiter Jim universe

~ Jupiter Jim (obviously)

~ Red Fox

~ Atomic Lass

~ Atomic Lad

Red fox is Jupiter Jim’s trusted sidekick. She is a red Panda Yokai. Jupiter Jim never thanked her making her leave

Atomic Lass worked together with JJ in a movie or two, making her part of the Jupiter Jim extended universe. She is fighting crime, protecting Uraniumville from evil together with her partner Atomic Lad, who she is in a romantic relationship in. She and Jupiter Jim had a fall out, which made them never speak again. What the fallout caused is unknown to us, the fallout is known under “ the incident “ which will never be mentioned ever again.

Catchphrases and extra nifty stuff

~ the most common used phrase is the shout „Jupiter Jim Ahoy!“ which almost sounds like a war cry (It reminds me of the Leroy Jenkins shout )

~ the general use of the phrase „Ahoy!“ the Ahoy can be detached from the „Jupiter Jim‘ bit and still mean the same

~ „ by the rings of Jupiter!“ a expression used to express their surprise, the character that uses it the most (I think) is Red fox

~ “leaping lightyears! ” a expression to convey shock

~ Jupiter Jim’s space ship is called “The SS Starbold”

~ Jupiter Jim’s prime directive is to maintain Interplanetary peace

Weapon’s

Jupiter Jim uses a verity of weapons including ( but not limited to) the following:

~ The Harpoon ray

~ Solar-sabers

~ Stygian thumb cuffs

~Dolteray torture sticks

~ The invisible blaster of seta alpha 9

Honourable mentions (thinks that can be classified as weapons but are not quite weapons)

~ Crashosaurus Mech

~ Moon buggy

((~ the deadly nerve pinch)) (not a weapon but where else am I supposed to put it?)

Jupiter Jim and the gang

~ Leo owns Jupiter Jim action figures and has a poster from one of the Jupiter Jim movies hung up next to his bed (seen in smart Lair )

~ Mickey owns a Jupiter Jim plushy (seen in a chair next to Donnie in the episode‘Breaking Purple’ )

~ the Jupiter Jim movies are often considered cheap sci-if movie series, but it can be seen that their are many JJ fans out their, not just the Hamato gang

~ Donnie’s favourite character from the extended Jupiter Jim universe is Atomic Lass. He always dreamed about fighting crime with her in Uraniumville. He might even had (has) a crush on her flirting with mascot dressed as her (did he think it was really her? I don’t know I mean the thought for a second that she was dead after her head fell off, but he still talked to the person in costume as if they where the character.) ((imagine hyper fixating on fictional characters, ha!…. Wait, I do that….))

(((~ this is not a fact but rather a theory of mine, so please take this one with a grain of salt. Donnie used to have at least a small crush on Atomic Lass at least he had a small hyper fixation on her. We also know that he has a “Typ” as stated in ‘War and Pizza’ “you are so cute, but so mean! Why do I always go for your type?!” Could that mean that Atomic Lasses character is like that? A cute character that can act mean ? )))

~ The original Jupiter Jim actor is called Marcus Moncrief

^ him, being referred to as the original actor opens up the possibility that there may have been another actor portraying that character.

~ he is the Turtles favourite original JJ actor

~Splinter does not like Moncrief

~ Moncrief does not think highly of the Lu Jitsu Films

~ Aprils and Donnie’s favourite Jupiter Jim movie is “Pluto vacation IV”

~ Donnie always performs all the musical numbers when watching

~Raph always falls asleep while watching Pluto vacation IV, always crashing something with his head

~ Raph’s, Leo’s, and Mickey’s Favorit Jupiter Jim movie is “Jupiter Jim sails the seven galaxies”

~ Raph gets always stuck in a pirate accent after watching Seven galaxies

~ Leo an Mikey always argue during the movie, who gets to wear the captains helmet

~ In Jupiter Jim Ahoy, Leo mentioned that Jupiter Jim is like a father figure to him, I am not sure if he really means it though because splinter is standing right in front of him, it could be interpreted as a funny joke

~ the boys have been Jupiter Jim fans since they where little, they also had a a Jupiter Jim action figure which they used to repair the tea pot after it being destroyed in a game of sports ball

(Okay Tumblr is not allowing me to put more pictures, just imagine there are more okay? )

~ the Bros used to own a mind condition collectors edition comic book of the 1000 Issue

~ it can be argued that Donnie modelled his hammer extension after the one Atomic Lass has, maybe he had the idea of an rocket reinforced hammer extension from her in the first place .

~ Raph’s undercover cosplay looks like a space suite with the same symbol JJ and Red Fox had/ have on their uniforms/costumes . This leads me to believe that the SS Starbold crew must wear this kind of symbol on their uniform as well meaning Raph is cosplaying as a crew member of the SS Starbold

~ And lastly, even though all of them (April included) are huge Jupiter Jim fans, Leo is said to be the Jupiter Jim super fan

I think after collecting all this information I can at least be considering the second biggest super fan, even though I am properly missing some things in my list.

Thanks for reading :3

(((And just in case you are wondering, my fic is called 'let's be friends' on Ao3)))

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #save rottmnt #op rambles #Jupiter Jim #Atomic Lass #why did I do this??#but it was kinda fun ngl #will I do this Typ of post ever again? probably #rise mikey #rise raph #rise leo #rise donnie

25 notes · View notes

obstinatecondolement · 11 months

Text

So... I took my meds, which may have been a mistake as apparently the stimulants I take stay in your system for 10-14 hours and not 8 as I had originally thought...

#love having terrible sleep hygiene #it's my favourite #love taking fucking speed six hours before I have to go to bed #when I have to wake up for work the next day #jesus christ I coujd conceivably still have concerta in my system when my alarm is die to go off tomorrow morning #why did I do this??

4 notes · View notes

cookinary · 1 year

Photo

I have no explanations for this

#why did I do this??#fuck if I know

4 notes · View notes

d33zn33tz · 2 years

Text

I’ve seen so many takes on what kind of music Poe listens to, ranging from classical to death metal. I’m here to propose an entirely new perspective.

I think Edgar Allen Poe from Bungou Stray Dogs listens to Bimbocore. Especially Scene Queen.

My evidence: Just look at him

He’s absolutely a feminist with an inner manwhore, listens to women singing (screaming) about being hot and dumb, and absolutely relates.

He could topple (or top) the government in a croptop, booty shorts, and thigh-high heels.

He’s a theatre kid, he’s a bitch, he’s in love with his rival, he’s getting fucked in every time zone, rolling weed in pink paper, he’s absolutely in love with bimbocore.

2 notes · View notes

butchfalin · 6 months

Text

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

146K notes · View notes

inkskinned · 5 months

Text

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

#spilled ink #warm up #“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol #btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can #run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her #but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!

48K notes · View notes

mlm-blues · 8 months

Text

“lmao imagine liking men” OK!!! ON IT BOSS 🫡🫡🫡 it’s beautiful here

#i’m doing my part!#i love men. so fucking much #mlm #nblm #achillean #gay #gay pride #gay yearning #gay mlm #mlm concept #mlm thoughts #mlm yearning #mlm love #why did this get so many notes. ok!!!! hi

62K notes · View notes

moncuries · 4 months

Text

guess what i watched on new years (a redraw kind of)

#hee hee #it was cute #(disclaimer i do not subscribe to d+ so my dollar was not going there iykyk)#pjo #percy jackson #grover underwood #annabeth chase #my art #fanart #hoo #i had to take silly pics of myself 2 get percys arm hand thing right #and then just cropped it bc yea #i almost gave annabeth the hair i did in the last one but i thought #why do i feel compelled to change her hair to fit the old image i had from the books and not the others #and i drew her actual hair from the show #and it looks sm better

30K notes · View notes

hamletthedane · 3 months

Text

I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.

What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.

What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.

What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.

The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.

And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.

But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.

I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.

#shut up e #long post #Saturday thoughts #this has been in my drafts for a week haha #also this is the heart of why AI art feels so wrong #forget the discussion of copyright and theft etc - even if models were only trained on public domain they would still feel very wrong #because they’re not art. art is the labor of creation #even commercial art and art commissioned by the popes and kings of history: there is humanity in the labor of it #unrelated: I did not know living in the Bronx was now something to brag about. How the fuck do y’all New Yorkers afford this city???

26K notes · View notes

vulturedimension · 6 months

Text

we are discussing our childhood passions on the dash tonight

27K notes · View notes

indigo6f00ff · 8 months

Text

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this.#but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt.#i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

28K notes · View notes

wordfather · 1 year

Text

this is inexplicably my favorite tiktok ever it brings me to tears every time why did he do thatttt

#WHY DID HE DO THAT #i think it the buildup its so fuvking funny #im crying h fucking BUCKED

63K notes · View notes

cozylittleartblog · 6 days

Text

"content creator" is a corporate word.

we are artists.

#anti ai #fuck ai #artists on tumblr #please do not call me or any artist a content creator #i'm an artist. a fanartist. a designer. but not a content creator #ai clowns in my replies will be deleted and blocked without response so do not waste your breath #you are not an 'artist' for generating an image any more than you are a chef for ordering from a restaurant. someone Else did the work.#owen dennis just deleted all his blue sky stuff again and i hate that he does that because he makes such interesting comments #about the entertainment industry lmao i need to just. start screenshotting every smart thing he says #anyway thats why i decided to finally make this when its been sitting in drafts for a few months #owen dennis #edit - if you dont know who owen dennis is he's the creator of one of the best animated series of the last 20 years (Infinity Train)#he's very open about talking about art and the entertainment/animation industry on social media and in his newsletter and hes so cool 4 it

7K notes · View notes

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year

Text

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

#Vanilla Extract #i open the tumblr app and immediately my nostrils are invaded by the overwhelming stench of vanilla #also if you want real vanilla extract at a discount: check out stores like HomeGoods TJMaxx Marshalls etc #the foodstuffs section tends to have fancy nonperishables for much cheaper than upscale grocery stores #you can get things like saffron truffles fancy oils at surprising prices #still expensive but like. 50% cheaper #or just shoplift if that's your thing i won't tell you how to live your life #did i just spend an hour writing this? yes. why did i do that? i don't KNOW

61K notes · View notes