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#WHY MUST THE SHOW WRITERS DO THIS TO MY HEART.
slymanner · 7 months
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hurt my heart why dontcha.
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kimwexlersponytail · 2 years
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The only thing that kept me going was knowing you were here.
#bcsedit#better call saul#mcwexler#jimmy x kim#kim wexler#jimmy mcgill#been seeing a lot of people saying that they don't deserve a happy ending after everything and though i get why that's being said#i disagree with the idea that they must be punished by the narrative in the form of an absolutely devastating end where they both die or#are broken down even further because they're Bad People and they Deserve It...their relationship is the heart of the show and#i don't believe that the writers spent over half a decade building this relationship up just to leave everything hanging in the balance#we can argue all day about jimmy and kim being Good or Bad but they love each other. they do. and bcs is a love story#do i believe that they're going to live happily ever after and get a fairytale ending? no of course not but i don't see a doom and gloom end#for them either. narratively speaking jimmy has been in prison all this time and who knows what kim has been up to all this time#i just don't think it would be narratively satisfying if the ending was about punishing them i really don't#i think it's going to be bittersweet for sure but there's no doubt in my mind that it'll be full of heart....#but god all of the takes about jimmy not deserving to meet up with kim in the gene timeline are just making me root for it even harder#and i really hope the world turns back to color the moment he sees her and idc how many people think it's cheesy <3#and you know what someday maybe they'll finally get their house.#mine
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moonchild1 · 5 months
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min yoongi fic rec list (Ⅵ)
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she's back bet you didn't think i'd post another list this quick but since they've been building so much i figured why not soooo this week is yoongs and next week with be taehyung i've been reading alot lately so i wanted to share them asap so before my week gets hectic again i thought i'd post it, i honestly loved these ones i am exploring a little bit for with certain genres and i must say it like a whole new world i'm enjoying it and i hope you like them too. remember too always show lots of love and support to these amazing writers they dedicated so much time to writing these fics and they are absolute geniuses and deserve the world for sharing them with us so please follow them and take a look at their masterlists cause i will 100% guarantee that you will find your very own favourites there as well, leave the a little comment i know they will appreciate it so much and send them all the love in the world... i will reblog these through out the week and as usual minors do not interact i will block those who do.... happy reading everyone see you next week with taehyung's list and if you have anything you would like to share with me or you just wanna ramble about a fic you loved my asks are always open i love hearing from you🖤✨
a- angst s- smut f- fluff
series
stalemate by @shina913 f s a
↬"The truth is, I'm not afraid to take that gamble anymore...in the off-chance that I get lucky again and feel the way I felt when I was with you. I'd happily make that bet over and over."
oh, my darling by @yoongiofmine f s a
↬ starting your second semester at one of South Korea’s most prestigious universities should be stressful enough. Between juggling classes, good grades and a social life, your plate was full. Hoping to spice up your academic career, you thought it was a good idea to enroll as an assistant for your literature professor, whom you've held a very secret and very forbidden crush on for the past several months. What will happen now that you’re forced to work closely together? And what if your crush isn’t as one sided as you thought?
little bit of your heart by @/yoongiofmine f s a ft. jjk
↬You had everything you could ever dream of; the career of your dreams as a music producer, the best friends you could ever wish for, and a exes-turned-friends-turned-fuck-buddies relationship with Min Yoongi. You knew you and Yoongi would never move past that and you were okay with it. Until a friend from your past comes back into your life, offering to give you everything you deserve, everything Yoongi couldn’t. Will Jungkook show you what you’ve been missing? Or will the new guy threaten Yoongi enough to do something about it? 
sinful lust by @oddinary4bts s a ft. jjk
↬ in an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating...
after hours by @archivedkookie f s a
↬ staying after hours with Yoongi for months proves to be a mistake when your heart falls for him.
Vows by @hamsterclaw f s a
↬ You're five years into your arranged marriage with Min Yoongi, and he's never once retaliated for anything you've done to him. One day you realise you've lost your appetite for provoking him, and you set about trying to win his heart instead.
sutures by @farfromsugafanfic f s a
↬ There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?
and so it goes by @prodagustd f s a
↬ You and Yoongi have been hooking up, having dates and spending most of the week together for almost seven months. He was comfortable without a title, until the last two weeks, when you couldn't see him because of your busy schedule, Yoongi can't understand why he misses you so bad if your relationship is just sex to him. Or maybe he does, but he's too much of a coward to admit it.
collateral by @theharrowing f s a ft. jjk & knj
↬ Your ex-boyfriend gets in over his head working for the local mafia, and Boss Min has come to collect his payment: You.
till death do us part by @colormepurplex2 s a
↬ Marital bliss isn't always a guarantee, especially when you find yourself marrying into the family responsible for your own family's demise. Sometimes, marriage is just a game of kill or be killed. Even when there is love involved, bullets still hurt.
grey area by @blushoseoks s a ft. jhs
↬ you spent the days staring at your wrist and tracing the skin where your soulmate’s name would one day appear. the nights were for telling your wrist about your day, as if the person whose name would one day stain itself there, like red wine to a dress, could possibly hear you. for years you thought up countless scenarios, imagined numerous possibilities, formulated conversations and rehearsed them over and over, until your mouth ran dry. outcomes and conclusions performed in your head on a repetitive loop. but out of everything you thought up, out of all of the time spent towards thinking about your soulmate, about what could possibly occur, none of it could ever prepare you for what would actually end up being. none of it ever came close to the way it happened when you finally met him. and now, after it’s all been said and done, you were left asking yourself one thing, and one thing only: “was it really worth all of this in the end?”
isn't it romantic by @jeonqkooks f s a
↬ Many things in life have a polar opposite: left and right, night and day, yin and yang, you and Min Yoongi... Hopeless romantic meets gloomy cynic. The only thing you seem to share is a magazine column but even then, you still can’t seem to understand how Yoongi can be called ‘The Love Doctor’ when he is the antithesis of everything love represents.
Flux by @yoonia f s a ft. jjk
↬ One of them is your longtime secret crush, while the other is the man with whom you had shared many heated nights filled with lust and forbidden desire, forever kept as your biggest secret of all time. You had sworn that those sinful nights would end, and that your secret crush would remain a secret. (poly au)
mean yoongi by @jjkpls f s
↬ Min Yoongi asks you to take care of his plants when he’s gone. It doesn’t go as planned and well, he has to deal with your misbehaving ass.
pretend by @gimmesumsuga s a
↬ “You know what they say: the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, right?” idol au infidelity
naughty little kitten by @jungkooksxo s a ft ksj
↬ Jin figures out that you’re super into the idea of Yoongi listening in on you two having sex. Yoongi is super into listening to you and Jin having sex. Jin invites Yoongi to come play with his naughty little kitten.
babydoll by @jungcock s a
↬ Your childhood crush, now famous and successful, comes to visit you while you’re drunk and have a lot to prove.
eleven months by @bratkook f s a
↬ it’s been years of yoongi living his routine life, accustomed to his pace of living, going with the flow and simply existing. until you come along. yoongi absolutely can not see the logic in the way you live, but he weirdly craves it. craves the feeling of not being afraid of not knowing what's coming, being able to just let the cards fall wherever they land. and maybe you can help with that.
pause by @whatifyoulivelikethat s a
↬ Life is like a cassette tape. It seems like it’s constantly repeating, flipped from side A to side B, and the songs can’t be skipped. You can only pause, rewind, fast forward, play after you’ve already heard the song. After you’ve already lived it. All Min Yoongi knows is his own tape, until it smashes right at his feet, and then he has to learn to dance to a different beat.
darksided by @eoieopda f s a
↬ It all started with a bad joke and a bottle of Tanqueray.
three squeezes by @nomnomsik s a ft jhs
↬ Yoongi is notorious for his grumpy and emotionless behavior as director of an upcoming company. Yet, it’s a mystery to everyone how manager Hoseok always seems to soften him up. The truth is that the two are actually engaged. Unknown to this fact, you happen to take an interest in Hoseok… and he does too. 
one-shot
bad decisions by @jjungkookislife f s
↬ Jimin is desperate to get his apartment back to himself. He’ll move hell and earth, and even drop to his knees to beg you to take his brother, Yoongi, out of his hands. Who are you to say no to that pretty face and sinister grin?  
breakfast in bed by @joonbird f s
↬ “Min Yoongi, a grumpy Ikea employee, is wondering who you are and why exactly you’re sleeping in the display bed at his Ikea.”
Tricks of the Trade by @stutterfly f s a
↬ The convenience store across the street from your apartment carries your favorite energy drink. That's why you frequent it. It's definitely not because you have a big fat crush on the owner you've been flirting with for the better part of a year. Of course your brand of flirting can also be misconstrued as bickering. When a strange man wanders into the store, he thinks you need a little nudge to embrace the strings connecting you. Next thing you know you're waking up in a body that definitely doesn't belong to you. You can't decide if it's the best or worst thing that's ever happened to you.
threads by @yoonia s a ft. knj
 ↬ Life is full of surprises, just like how people are full of secrets. Just when you had thought you have been lucky enough to have your life figured out, life decides to throw you a curve ball when you least expect it. And there is nothing you could do to avoid it, except to hope that you could hold your secrets as tightly as you possibly could before everything blows up into smithereens.
under the willow tree by @orchidyoonkook f a
↬ The town outcast shows up in the one place you find solace from it’s residents. The people you force yourself to fit in with, even though you never want to be anything like them. Will he ruin your only place of salvation, or become the most unlikely friend?
mami by kithtaehyung s ft. knj
↬ you somehow have a conversation with yoongi, and you tell your roommate about a date date.
the devil wears valentino by @orchidyoonkook f s a
↬ Having known him for years—from a small mistake on your behalf, and a favour on his—you’re one of the only people he seems to be able to put up with for company. Certainly the only one he’s half-way decent with. But what’s more surprising to you is that despite his name, reputation, and the fact he’s always joked he’d have killed anyone else by this point, is that he’s never once tried to cause you harm. 
angel by @sailoryooons f s
↬ Yoongi never meant to keep coming back. You never meant to become Yoongi’s favorite. Being Min Yoongi’s favorite has dire consequences
a boy like you by @cinnaminsvga f
↬ for whenever you are feeling low, always remember that there is a boy you know who would lift the sky for you. {or alternatively: Min Yoongi loves you, though he never says it. He’s always been a firm believer in that actions speak louder than any words ever could.}
last nite by @tayegi s a
↬ This is a zombie apocalypse AU based on The Walking Dead, The Stand, World War Z, and elements of Attack of Titan
zombie bites by @luffles424 f s a
↬ Your friends have always been willing to assist you when you need a model to practice makeup on. And with the upcoming zombie film on campus is no difference. But something feels different this time, can a zombie movie be more than just a zombie movie? 
heaven's winter by @jksangelic f s a
↬ your duty as the village daughter places you in line for the season’s Offering; a tradition not to tread lightly upon. as the snow falls slow and heavy, and the seraph awaits in the shallows of the mountain, you fail to realize what the winter has in store for you.
heavy sugar by @kinktae s
↬ The Roaring Twenties were a time of great economic wealth and social change. But beneath the jazz music and colorful speakeasies were mafia led organized crimes and bloodstained cash. You knew this well, but try as you might, you just couldn’t ignore the dark and enigmatic gangster whose eyes lingered on you from across the room.
all that holly, jolly shit by @daechwitatamic f s
↬You haven’t seen or heard from Yoongi since he broke your heart five years ago, laying out a logical list of reasons why you were better off breaking up. When a Christmas Eve blizzard traps you together for the night, you have no choice but to examine how few of those reasons are still true. And if they’re not… where does that leave you?
calling the shots by @chans-room f
↬ College basketball captain Yoongi
until death by @kpopfanfictrash s a
↬ Jade has always shaped the island of Kekon. Mined from the mountains, it enhances the abilities of Green Bone warriors who wear it and allows them protection from outside harm. No one understands these threats better than you do, second-in-command of the mighty No Peak clan.  When a new danger appears, seeming to come from within, everything you once took for granted is called into question. Including the bonds you’ve made, some more dangerous than the others. None more so than Min Yoongi, head of No Peak and the only one capable of destroying your heart.
whatta catch by @aredheadedmess f a
↬ One, two, three strikes you’re out. When opposing opinions find you roughing it up with the university’s star pitcher, he makes it his mission to show that you’re wrong about college sports—and maybe your feelings about the player himself.
shatter me, embrace me by @95rkives s
↬you longed for him, yearning for love, yet all that awaited you was heartbreak.
you're losing me by @/archivedkookie a
↬ ❝ He’s losing you, and yet, he lets the flower die in front of his eyes instead of doing everything to save it. Alternatively, Yoongi and you are losing your love toward each other. ❞
spotlight by @back2bluesidex f a
↬ No matter how much you run away from Yoongi, Yoongi always comes right back to you.
all the wrong places by @mrworldwideshoulders f a
↬ After getting separated from your friends during a night out, you get stuck with a hefty bill – one that you can’t pay. So when a handsome, emotionless stranger covers your tab in a random act of kindness, you’re determined to track him down and pay him back. inspired by 24K Magic by Bruno Mars.
now we reign by @/oddinary4bts f s a
↬ when working on a collab together makes you and Min Yoongi seek comfort with the other, you discover there’s more to life than loneliness. Only, hurdles mark your path in Min Yoongi’s life, and it’s unclear what the outcome will be. Will you be destroyed by him and his world, or will you learn to reign over it, together with him?
stay by sugarwithtea f s a
↬ what happens when you get stranded in a remote town with no place to live except for a lodge owned by a dangerously handsome but annoying man? yeah, a lot.
when the stars align by @itskimtaehyung f
↬ With cuffing season approaching its end, you thought you had escaped the pressures of finding a boyfriend for the holidays. That is, until your friends set you up on a blind date that goes horribly wrong. This prompts you to enlist the help of your roommate, Yoongi, to fake a relationship so your friends will stop meddling in your love life. And it turns out Yoongi is a lot better at this romance thing than you originally thought...
egotstic by @pasteljeon s a ft. knj
↬ The timing was never right. He loved you when you were kids, knees scraped and cheeks red. You loved him when pimples bloomed across his skin, voice cracking and he found solace in the scribbled lines in his notebook. The stars never seemed to align for the two of you, but perhaps it was because you were meant for someone else.
on the court by @centerhaechan f
↬ As captain of your school's winning women's basketball team, it is only understood that you despise the men's basketball team and their captain. Your main rival, Min Yoongi, enjoys testing your patience while he attempts to lead his own team to a championship victory. Your coaches believe you both have problems with teamwork, and insist that working together will produce a promising solution.
sugar by @zehakoo f s
↬ desperately in need of sugar to make coffee in order to ease down your headache, you find yourself knocking on a strangers door who happens to be your best friend’s friend and the finest man you’ve ever encountered.
from the ashes by @fortunexkookie s a
↬ Someone is sobbing ugly, wrecked sounds that shatter the silence in the room. You need them to stop; it’s distracting and you need to focus. You need to clean the ash from his skin. You need to comb the knots from his hair. You need to dress his beautiful body in something befitting the king you know he is… but the sobbing is too loud, and your vision is blurry. It takes Yoongi wiping your tears away for you to realize that the gasping cries echoing off the stone are coming from you.
the dark by @/bratkook s
↬ your small town thrives on the occult, luring tourists in with endless themed festivities, but the only place you’re determined to see is the mysterious club that comes to life the week before Halloween. what makes The Dark so exclusive, and what secrets are they hiding behind closed doors?
Triplicity by @kainks ft. jhs
↬ Distance is a cruel thing, and when you find yourself going astray, they are there to help remind you of just where exactly you belong.
fermata by @jeongi f s
↬ fer·ma·ta: from fermare, it means to stay or to stop. min yoongi teaches you exactly how to let go.
private lessons by @dntaewithluv f s
↬ Your little sister finds it odd how you’ve been taking private lessons from her piano teacher for over a month now, but she hasn’t heard you actually play even once…
first love by @geniuslab f s a
↬You learn a lot of new things in your first year of university, including what it feels like to fall in love.
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↬looking for other myg fics or the other bts members check out my library
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apparentlytheproblem · 10 months
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d a t i n g m a t h e o r i d d l e
fandom- Harry Potter
pairing(s)- matheo riddle
a/n: i had fun with this cause my boy is'nt even cannon and i've derived this from the show deadly class (its absolutley lovley) and im so sorry i deleted the request baby with love, tiya
requested- yes
warnings- unexperienced writer, not thoroughly edited
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i think it would be a slowburn
i think it would take time for both of you to personally acknowledge what you both have
because Matheo Riddle is too high and mighty to have something as low and embarrassing as a highschool crush
my man will be in utter confusion why he wants to stare but looks away to act cool
like you both keep glancing at each other, for what?
y'all just ignoring each other just to avoid a zoo in your stomach
but like you know you're in love, you know he's in love, at this point everyone knows but y'all just don't admit it
because if you do, everything suddenly becomes to real
I have always had such an obsession with him
him, his face, his everything
his eyes are so pretty, they're just gorgeous and that freakin smile would just get me on my knees
I think even though he seems as the cold hearted bitch he's just so sweet to you
I've always had a thing for people who has a soft spot for me ugh
everyone hated him, loved him or wanted to be him
he was the it girl
I don't think he'd be much into playing quidditch as such
but he's pretty darn fit if i must say so myself
he'd be good in combat fighting
hence all the fights, but he'd be winnin my luv
he'd teach you how to play video games
he'd make you playlists and everything
once you both have reached that bond he'd be so obnoxious
he'd be loving, caring and everything
10/10 fr
he loves that everyone knows you're dating
this would be important as he gets jealous so easily
he's just yours and I love that
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brailsthesmolgurl · 1 month
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Delirious
No matter how much you had offered your heart and arms to him, you were never his. And he was never yours.
Another oneshot requested by my angsty babies, I am glad you chose Rafayel. Yes, the writer you had wished for is back. Hang on tight to your seats baby gurl, this one gonna be hard to swallow.
Warnings: Angst, no comfort. Make your eyes bleed. Character death. Descriptive Mentions of dark topics so if ur sensitive please refrain.
Artwork is not mine, please support the original artwork!
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Ding Dong. Ding Dong. Ding Dong. dINg dOng. DiNg dOnG.
You slammed your door opened and the 183cm drama queen stands in your doorway, head hung low, face drooped towards the floor. If he is not made of solid muscle and bones, you would be watching him melting right into the floor. Sighing, you stood aside and let him in, not even bothering to ask him a single question. You sort of having a gist on what had happened.
"Here, soup for you." He replied solemnly, feet carrying him lazily across the living room and to your kitchen. He brought soup this time, must be something big. Him bringing a souvenir over also means he would probably be staying the night. Not that you guys are in a relationship or anything, but 'complicated' is the right term for the both of you as of this stage.
The chair creaked under his weight as he took a seat on the wooden chair slotted at your dining table. "Rafayel." You grabbed a tissue box and sat down on the opposite end, a good necessity whenever he drops by your house unannounced. His hunched over form under the harsh lighting of your dining room's light unexpectedly painted a blob of shadow on your table. You reached your hand out this time, finger tapped on the wooden table just a few centimeters away from his hand. "Rafayel, are you okay?"
"She broke up with me." His reply was short. No details, no whining, no accusations, but just one sentence. This is an untouched territory for you. Most of the time, he would pressed on the doorbell nonstop until you slam open the door and his lips would not shut off till he was done venting. There were a couple of times he did came in looking like a dreaded fish, but the smell of alcohol would be the perfume of his. Today, however, no alcohol smell and no usual harangues.
.⋆。⋆☂˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆.
Few days passed, till few weeks, then few months after. For such a while, Rafayel had been hanging out more frequently with you, bringing you to the most random places to hang out such as going to a bowling alley just to get their waffles because he claims he likes to watch people roll balls but he also likes the waffles there. A trip to the market only to buy crabs and releasing them into the backyard to watch which one could run the fastest then the winner shall be rewarded as dinner on the dining table.
He had never been weirder than ever, but maybe this is his way of coping and who are you to judge? You had never been in love. But reading through romance books and watching all of the romantic shows, when love comes to your mind, Rafayel comes to your mind. You thought, maybe you do love him?
"Get out." Your words were final. Index finger sliced through the air and pointed straight towards your front door. Your cheeks glistened under the reflecting light casted by the television that was playing a teen romance flick. But no attention was spared for the movie anymore. "Rafayel. GET. OUT."
"What do you mean?" Eyebrows sewn together, eyeing your expression that spelled hurt. He was confused about your sudden burst of anger. "All I did was talk about the movie. And you got mad at me all of a sudden."
"You did not talk about the movie. All you did, was compared me to her, with the context of the movie." Your nostrils flared, tears stinging at the back of your eyes as if you had inhaled poison. Your throat and chest tightening further the more you held your tears in. "You lied to me. You said you got over her." Your arm fell to your sides, voice feeble. "But, why do you always find the need to compare me to her?"
"Oh spare me, I just went through a breakup, I could use the space to let loose, can't I?" His ignorance egged you on, seeing how indifferent he is about this situation. "Furthermore, I could use the---"
"And you think it's okay to play with my feelings?!" You belted, eyes welled up with tears, blurring your vision. You stepped up to him, hands pointed towards his face this time and you seethed in anger. "You, came here everytime, when she broke your heart. And out of everytime, I stayed. I waited." Your voice started cracking. "I was there for you when you had nobody else. And I picked you up when you thought you could not live without her anymore."
"Well, you could have just left if you---" He chipped in and you slapped him across his face with your palm. Although your hands are small, but it packed enough of a force to cause his cheek to ache, an uncomfortable throbbing pain following afterwards. He left his head tilted to the side, taking in the reality of what had happened. He just got slapped by a girl. Never in his life, he thought he would do something so outrageous that he would get slapped across the face. Guess he just broke his streak of not getting slapped by women.
"I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU, CAN'T YOU TELL?!" You withdrew your hands and slid onto the floor, full on sobbing as you hugged onto your body to gain warmth for yourself. All of the blood had rushed up to your head which explains why you could not feel your legs anymore, hence the position on the floor. You desperately hoped Rafayel would grab you right now, and hug you tight within his arms.
You heard hurried shuffles, sound of keys jangling and a soft thud next to you. Those noises not tending to your curiosity at all. "I am sorry." His reply was bland, numb even. A sentence for remorse, also a sentence for a goodbye. The doors closed behind you and you were left alone, a forlorn soul basked within the lights emitted from the romance show. Silent sobs overheard by the moon that was peeking in through the windows of your sky roof.
.⋆。⋆☂˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆.
"Rafayel!" Thomas burst in the front doors, scurrying towards Rafayel's room at full speed after spotting the empty canvas sitting at the living room. Slamming the door that leads to Rafayel's room, the artist was sprawled out on the bed, his room so cold that Thomas could have just witnessed the North Pole without having to be there. The floor was surrounded in trash, papers crumpled up, pencils of all kinds used for sketching strewn across the floor. One may call it an organised mess, but Thomas calls this artist block.
"How long have you been in this room?!" Thomas shook Rafayel's shoulders to wake him up. "Your room is as cold as the cold storage that you use to store your seafood!" Thomas wasted no time in having to collect the pieces of papers and pencils on the floor, arranging them in his hand. "Why are you not done with---"
His nag came to a halt when Rafayel had sat up straight, back hunched over and eye bags the only colour present on his pale features. "What do you want?" Even his voice sounds hoarse, like a teen boy cycling through the age of puberty. "I do not wish to be disturbed."
"Your calls, as usual, went unanswered for the past few days so I helped myself by going over to ask y/n about your whereabouts because I thought you were staying with her pretty often these days." Placing the items onto the artist's white desk, Thomas turned to study his expression, his arms crossed over his chest.
"I know that look from somewhere." He squinted his eyes, studying him even further. "You had that same look when you caught your ex cheating on you that night." Thomas was referring to the girl that came before you. The one that had broke Rafayel's fragile heart. "Funny, now that I think of it, y/n's not doing any better than you."
Coming to realisation, the light bulb in Thomas' head flipped the switch. "Did anything happened to the both of you?"
"Did she asked anything about me?" Rafayel answered his question with another question. Eyes finally slanted upwards to face the manager of his. He just wanted to hear something, at least something to give him a reason to find her. He felt guilty, remorseful even for putting his burdens onto her. Leaving her all alone, drowning her in her own agony that day was the worse thing he could ever do to someone who had only ever been kind to him. And it took him three days to figure that out in his fish brain.
"No, she just asked me to hand you this." The older man reached into the pocket of his blazer, fishing a pink note out of his pocket and he handed it to Rafayel. The paper a little wrinkled, but the contents of it are a mark of your handwriting.
//𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒾𝓃 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒶𝓈 𝐼 𝑜𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝒹.// Your cursive writing always a form of art to his eyes. A small, dainty note was all that takes for her to personally pass on the will to him. Rafayel stared at the note for a good minute, the wind coming out of the air-conditioner turning Thomas into a popsicle but filling the silence.
"I have to go." Rafayel uttered, hoisting himself out of the bed in one go and he threw on his dark pistachio green open collared shirt. The one you always quipped about how healthy his skin tone looks in it but with him constantly bantering that the green was a direct insult to his hair and eye colour. Just for this time, he would smother his ego, put on your favourite outfit, and head over to find you.
.⋆。⋆☂˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆.
The keys he held onto, the same set of extra keys you had entrusted him with, slotted into the keyhole and turning it clockwise, a 'clack' could be heard and he opened the door with the twist of the copper-painted doorknob. The balcony's sliding door remained opened, the sheer white curtains danced to the rhythm of the wind. The lights in your house were dimly lit, providing Rafayel with just enough lighting to navigate himself towards your room.
At this timing, in the middle of the night, he tiptoed through your wooden floors, afraid even the smallest of creaks would give you the spooks. He twisted the doorknob to your door but it jammed halfway. Trying again, with a bit more exerted force this time, the door remained unbudgable. "Y/N...?" He called out for your name, using his knuckle to give a light knock on your door. "It's me Rafayel. Can we talk?"
He was met with a deafening silence. Of course you would not want him to be anywhere near you, be it to hear him apologise for his stupidity or for him to comfort you within his arms. He bet you could care less about him given the last stunt he had pulled on you. He grappled for his phone, pulling out of his pant's back pocket and he turned on the screen, the light on his phone screen puts the dim lightings to shame.
He scrolled through his phone book till he stopped at your name, a heart symbol edited in next to your name. It was not just a stunt for him to catch your attention, the heart emoji has always been there, but after you had taken him in and allowed him to stay with you for a couple of weeks, the heart started making more sense to him, but poor Rafayel couldn’t distinguish what is love and what is bare attraction. If he could get to talk to you this time, then maybe the heart would mean the world to him. Maybe, maybe this time, he will not mess his speech up and break your heart again.
The phone was set to dial mode and he pressed onto the green call button, ready to receive shoutings from the other side of the room. Your ringtone rang, the stupid song for the Toothless Meme played on rewind. Did you slept a bit too well maybe? He called again, and the same scenario happened.
His heart was hit with a sudden pang of fear. You had always been a light sleeper and noticing the obnoxiously loud ringtone not even waking you up for the slightest bit, he decided to take a step back and bust down the door with his shoulder. Luckily, just with one hard nudge of his broad shoulders, the door dislodged itself.
So does his heart. Your whole room was thrashed, filled with the pink notes that you had given to Thomas earlier. Some were torn, some were sheathed, some had scribbles all over it, all of the notes littered with handwritten notes beyond his comprehension. Rafayel watched you, held up vertically, legs far from touching the ground, a noose was the only thing connecting you towards the ceiling. "Y/N!" He ran up to you and grabbed you, his lanky legs kicking all of the notes out of his way. "Y/N!"
A short burst of flames from his fingers burnt the noose and you fell to the floor. Your face a shade match to the moon that was sitting outside. Rafayel's hands fumbled with his phone, calling the emergency hotline as soon as he could. Strings of curses coming out of his mouth afterwards when he asked for help to be deployed to your location as soon as possible.
While awaiting for the ambulance, Rafayel did CPR, or at least what he could remember from the lesson he had taken years ago. Pumping steadily to a rhythm, blowing air through your mouth to hopefully deliver air to your lungs. The sirens of the ambulances huddled outside of your condominium, the blue and red lights adding on a speck of neon to the monotonous night.
"Stay with me please. Please stay with me y/n." Rafayel held you in his arms, your ice cold skin prickled against his warmth. His tears fell down his cheeks and continued its trail down your already tear-stricken face. He never thought his ruse would cause you this much damage. He thought that you could be the end to his delirium, and the start to his new reality.
The paramedics that arrived on the scene stood aimlessly at the door frame, watching the broken man in front of them, amidst the thrashed room, holding onto a lifeless body of a woman who seemingly cried herself to death.
.⋆。⋆☂˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆.
Angsty af, this piece is part and partial of my experience as I had once struggled with my mental health before, and it was also due to a shitty ex. But I am doing much better now, and writing this brings back those shitty feels that I used to have, but also reminded me of how much more happier and stronger I am now, and that I am not choosing death because of my ex! :)
But if any of you, do have issues with mental health, please do seek for reliable help. As cliche as it sounds, life is not at all bad if you have people that are supportive of your recovery journey. If you needed someone to rant to, my dms are always open <3.
I do not wish harm for any of my readers, and I want you guys to know that just as much as ur supporting my works, I want to be there to support you if you have any hardships in life as well. Just know that you are loved, and I love you <3.
Sincerely, Brails.
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I Can See You
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Genre: workplace romance ; oneshot
Pairing: Jung Jaehyun x Reader
Warnings: explicit sexual content (18+)
Notes: 16k words, song prompt was I Can See You by Taylor Swift. Had a bad writer's block and wrote this on a whim in the middle of the night while I was high on Speak Now TV and fueled with cold coffee. Synopsis: After a wild, unforgettable hookup with Jung Jaehyun, you were convinced you'd never see him again. Apparently, you were wrong because why is he strutting into your office as your newest coworker?
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"So, are you going to Tiff's birthday party? We'll go to that new bar downtown. The one that recently had a big opening."
You shook your head without glancing at your coworker, Jenna. Your eyes were focused on the task flashing on your computer screen. "I have plans with my sister."
"I see. That's too bad. You haven't gone out with us in a long time. I thought I'd be able to convince you this time."
You gave her a quick glance and an apologetic smile. "Sorry. I've been busy."
Jenna narrowed her eyes at you. "Are you sure you didn't get a boyfriend? You used to be the life of the party. Now you rarely ever show up. I mean, even though your sister has moved in with you, I don't think that's enough reason to suddenly change your habits."
"No, Jen. No boyfriend. I love partying with you girls, but lately, I just don't feel like it. Do you know what I think about every day when I clock in for work?" you grumbled at her curious expression. "Clocking out."
"Oh my god, you're getting old," Jenna faked a gasp that made you laugh.
"I'll make it up to you though."
"It's fine if you don't. But do let me know when you're feeling up to it again." Jenna flashed a wide grin. "We'll tear this city apart when you do."
Your chat was cut short when you spotted your department's head walking into the office. Jean rushed to her desk and there was a quick shuffle of feet before everyone settled in their own spaces. You eyed your department head and saw that he was coming in with someone else. It must be the new analyst who's officially replacing the last one who resigned recently. That's great because Tiffany's been going through double her usual workload as the only data analyst on your team.
"Good morning, Team!" your department head greeted. "Today's a good day."
Indeed it is, you think so too. It's probably even the best day in the office, given the immaculate sight before you.
"My, my. Look at that..." Jenna discreetly tapped on your shoulder. "A tall, handsome gentleman has graced this tiny workspace with his presence."
You just shook your head dismissively despite also thinking the same thing. When your eyes flitted back to the two men standing by the doorway, you found the new guy's eyes fixated on you. It was like you had been hit by a freight train, the nerves making your heart beat wildly and your eyes widen ever so slightly when you recognized him. Jung Jaehyun.
"This is Jaehyun. Starting today, he will be joining our team as our new data analyst. I trust all of you to help him settle down and get to know our company. I also expect all of you to get along well."
"Yes, sir!"
"Welcome Jaehyun!"
"Welcome to the team!"
Your coworkers immediately gathered around him, greeting, introducing themselves, and welcoming him into the team. Jenna slides towards you in her chair.
"Is it just me or have I seen him before?"
"I'm sure it's just you," you lied, chuckling nervously as you cleared your throat.
Jaehyun was courteous, greeting every single one of you and shaking hands with everyone. You notice him lingering a little longer by your desk but pay it no mind and treat him like it's your first time meeting him. He examined your face as if he was trying to see if you really didn't recognize him at all. That look made you a little impatient, especially after flashes of memories displayed in your head; ones where he was giving you the same intense gaze while you were straddling him.
"It's nice to meet you, y/n." He smiled before leaving your desk and even after he was gone, the way he said your name replayed in your head like a broken record.
"You think he's hot, don't you?" Jenna teased. You had been trying to focus on your job but Jaehyun's desk had to be across the room, right within your line of sight. He was going through some papers with Tiffany, seemingly getting his first taste of his new job post.
He was just as dashing as you remembered, in his complete set of suit and neatly styled hair. Although when you first met, he didn't have his coat or his glasses on. He probably doesn't even need those unless he's reading or something. You know his eyesight works well, judging by how clearly he can navigate even in the dim lights of the hotel room you locked yourselves in a few months back. The memory made you squeeze your legs together, feeling a nervous but euphoric rush run down your heart to your stomach. You cleared your throat, tugging on Jenna's arm to excuse yourself.
In the restroom, you checked yourself out in the mirror and washed your hands for no reason. That night with Jaehyun was like a fever dream, almost surreal. What's even more surreal was meeting him again, even in an actual dream. After that night, you regretted escaping in the morning while he was still asleep. You regretted not giving him your phone number when he asked for it and also not asking for his. You never saw him again after that, even when you tried going back to the place you first met him. You've come to make peace with the fact that you will never be able to see him again, or even meet anyone like him. Yet now he comes strutting into your office and introduces himself as your new coworker? You can't tell if you're being rewarded or screwed over.
"So, Jaehyun..." Tiffany was beaming when she approached you and Jenna by the pantry. "I invited him to come with us tonight and he's totally down."
"You invited him?" Jenna exclaimed in disbelief and Tiffany nodded. "He's a guy."
Tiffany shrugged nonchalantly. "And? It's my birthday. Besides, Carl and the department chief are coming too so technically, this isn't a girls' night out."
That seemed to have convinced Jenna. "That makes sense."
Tiffany turned to you and started batting her eyelashes. "So, is my favorite colleague coming tonight?"
You chuckled at the flattery. "I would love to—"
"Ah," Tiffany cut you off, covering her ears. "I don't wanna hear it."
"Tiff..." you lilted but she just pouted and shook her head.
"I know exactly what comes after 'I would love to', y/n," she ranted, looking sulky. "It's my birthday."
"I know that but it's also my sister's birthday, so..."
"Oh." Tiffany softened at you after hearing your reason. "I didn't know we had the same birthday."
You just shrugged. Tiffany went on to suggest celebrating together but you declined because you've already made a reservation in a nice restaurant and you'll be with your parents. She tried charming you to agree to meet them at the bar after you're done with the family dinner and you could only say you'll try but won't make any promises. Honestly, knowing Jaehyun would be there too piqued your interest. Now you're curious to know what would happen at the bar, but you held it all in. You're simply just tired and would rather go home after a nice dinner than spend energy on socializing until late. Not even the hot specimen will be enough to convince you otherwise.
You had a hearty family dinner and Tiffany had her party. Judging by the stories on their social media, you can tell your coworkers had plenty of fun. Strangely, as you swiped through their posts, you didn't feel any ounce of envy at all. In the past, you would've been the organizer of this party. You would be coming home wasted, or not come home at all. But instead, you're wrapped in your blankets, scrolling through your phone on a Friday. You do feel bad about turning Tiffany down, but you won't swap this peaceful weekend for any rowdy, noisy, and dizzying nightclub.
Jenna was right. You're getting old. But you also know sooner or later, they'll succumb to the same lifestyle as yours right now.
Your finger pressed on one picture in Tiffany's long array of stories, the one where Jaehyun was posing with your colleagues. He stood out the most, with his pearly white skin and tall height. In his hand was a bottle of beer, his cheeks and chest were rosy due to alcohol and the rims of his eyes were pinkish. Your eyes focused on his lips, plump and red under the flash of the camera. Your mind spiraled again, falling into an immediate recollection of the one-night stand with Jaehyun. The weather was cold at the time, but Jaehyun's skin was hot against yours. His eyes were fiery with lust, staring you down and scanning your entire being as if he were trying to memorize you. His arms were strong, and so were his chest. You remember how the high came as quickly as it left, and how it was the best part of the whole thing. It was an intense night out, and an even intense hook-up. You will never forget that, nor will you be able to compare it to anything else you've had before. That night with Jaehyun was so good that it almost felt illegal; like a vice that will get you addicted to it if you're not careful.
You tossed your phone across the bed, taking deep breaths to calm your raging hormones. You would never admit to anyone, even to yourself, that part of the reason you stopped going on night outs was because of Jaehyun. Everything about him has been imprinted in your mind that nothing about your nightlife satisfied you anymore, especially not the guys who tried to humor you.
"Fuck my life," you mumbled to yourself, dreading Monday as much as you're looking forward to it. Jaehyun will be there. That idea made you feel giddy and nervous at the same time and you hate feeling overwhelmed, especially about a guy.
Monday rolled in like clockwork and you imagined yourself bumping into Jaehyun at the building entrance. Obviously, you didn't, but you did catch him inside the elevator. He gave you a small smile as you stepped into the elevator with a few other employees. You stood right next to him, your shoulders brushing slightly because the lift was packed.
"Good morning," he greeted casually and you tried not to collapse on your knees.
"Good morning, Mr. Jung."
Jaehyun's smile widened. "You act like we don't know each other."
"Pardon me, Mr. Jung," you chimed, smiling sweetly at him. "But I would rather keep things professional in the workplace. So, wherever it is that you remember knowing me from, I'd appreciate it if you don't bring it up at work."
Jaehyun pursed his lips, his brows forming a knot. "I was talking about the way you addressed me just now. You're the only one who calls me that here. Everyone else calls me by name."
You opened your mouth to retort but then closed it again and avoided his gaze. Jaehyun's grin didn't leave his lips until you were out of the elevator. That annoyed you a little, knowing he was amused about you feeling awkward. You sat in front of your computer all day, looking pissed. Jenna chatted with you several times but you just gave her the bare minimum of your attention. By 3pm, your coworkers were chatting randomly among themselves and while most of them found Jaehyun to be the most interesting one in your bunch, you drowned in your own work instead of participating. You feel awkward enough seeing him around, and even more so because you know you want him. You want all of him. But given that your office has a rule against dating coworkers, you can only dream. You wonder if you can take more of this agonizing situation, and you wonder how much his presence would affect your daily office life.
You must be delusional or have high self-esteem because, for the next few days, you were convinced that Jaehyun was as antsy as you were. Several times you caught him staring at you intently, with his forehead creasing and his lips pursed, not even avoiding your gaze like he meant for you to notice him staring. Even around your coworkers, you can see him watching you with those eyes. You're not oblivious to the meaning behind those gazes and you're not ignoring them either. You acknowledged them, every single one. You gave him the same exact look with the same exact intention. Each time you brushed past each other, regardless of how close or far apart you are, he always made sure to graze your arm, or your elbow, or your shoulder; especially your shoulder when you're wearing something that exposes them. Each time your name is mentioned in your small office, his eyes follow the direction of your desk. And your desks just have to be positioned right across each other's. Far apart, but face to face.
You know he wasn't being discreet and you hoped he would because sooner or later, people will start to notice how he paid attention to you. You can tell by the way your colleagues would randomly tug him because he was in a daze staring at you, and the way someone would always clear their throat to prompt him.
One night, during overtime, when you had to cram some paperwork for the monthly audit, you were alone in the pantry making coffee for yourself when Jaehyun walked in. You held your breath for a moment, giving him a nervous smile before reverting your attention to the coffee machine.
"Evening," he greeted, his voice deep and throaty, damn attractive.
"Evening," you greeted back, watching him reach for a mug from the cupboard. He stood there with you, waiting for the brewing coffee, but your senses were on high alert because of the proximity. Your shoulders were almost touching and his hand on the counter sat close to yours.
"Seeing any light at the end of this tunnel?" he asked, referring to the loads of work everyone had piled up.
"The only light I'm seeing is daylight. We'll be here until the morning," you huffed, sagging your shoulders as you glanced down your wristwatch. It's 11pm but you eventually stopped caring about the time when you saw his pinky finger linking with yours.
"Well, if you need a hand, just let me know."
Your eyes were fixated on your linked fingers but you still replied. "I'm sure you have plenty on your plate as it is."
"How about you try not to decline someone's good intentions," he chimed, letting go of your finger to properly place his hand over yours. "Especially if it's mine?"
"I don't think you mean good intentions, Jaehyun," you purred, challenging his bluff. His lips lifted into a smile, revealing a set of dimples that would have looked cute if only he wasn't staring at you like he was ready to devour you at any moment.
"As long as we're on the same page, I don't care how you label my intentions."
You stared at each other for a while, conversing with your eyes and seemingly coming to an agreement. Your self-restraint had always been thin, but right now it's at its thinnest and your rationality is working hard to remind you that you're in the office and anyone can walk in on you anytime.
The coffee machine beeps, signaling that the coffee is ready. You drew your hand from under his hold and were about to grab the kettle when Jaehyun yanked your hand back and pulled you into his arms, locking you there.
"Jaehyun!" you scolded in a hushed voice. He lets you go after a soft whisper in your ear that had his lips brushing on the sensitive skin. The pantry door opens and you jolted a little in surprise. Jenna lets out a big huff.
"If I die today, know that I loved working with all of you," she said dramatically.
Jaehyun chuckled, grabbing the kettle and pouring himself a coffee. "Hang in there," he comforted Jenna as he poured some on your mug too.
He left after that while you stood rooted on your spot, your mind in shambles because of Jaehyun. Jenna had to shake your shoulder to prompt you.
"Are you okay?"
You flashed a fake smile. "Yeah. Of course."
Jenna gave you a pitiful gaze. "This is killing you too right?"
"Right," you sighed, taking your mug from the countertop. "Let's have some more of this and hope we get through the night."
"Amen," Jenna quaked.
You go back to your desk, but your mind cannot focus on work now. Your heart started beating wildly in your chest the moment you were alone with Jaehyun, and it hasn't stopped since. You tried not to pay him any attention, but he was right across the room so it was impossible. When your eyes met his, he lifted his ID card to show it to you, and that made you look away. You grabbed your headphones and played music to drown your thoughts and hopefully focus on your task. But Jaehyun's melodic voice was still in your head.
'Did you know everyone at the motel knew my name when I stepped out the morning after?'
Fuck him. And fuck motels with crappy soundproofing.
Jaehyun was still smug about you getting flustered by what he said. Now you're thinking he did that to see how much of an effect he has on you. Why bother? He already knows he had you in a chokehold.
"Hey, still swamped?" Tiffany asked sleepily, sinking her chin on your shoulder. You leaned your head on hers and sighed.
"Halfway there, but I'm just finishing up on this one file. I'll work on the rest tomorrow." You were all required to finish work tonight, but after seeing how late it had gotten, your chief eventually told everyone to go home, saying he'd ask the higher-ups for an extension.
"Yeah, it's impossible to finish everything tonight," she grumbled. "Don't stay too long though. No job is worth dying for."
"I know," you sighed, giving her a comforting smile. "See you tomorrow, Tiff."
"See you."
Half of your office is now vacant and the only ones left are you, Carl, and Jaehyun who seemed to be working at a steady pace while still giving you a hard tease. You ignored him altogether, eager to just finish this one paper. But then you caught him yawning from your peripheral view, making you peer over your computer screen to watch. He took off his tie completely and tucked it away before unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt. Then he flexed his arms and rubbed his nape, seemingly trying to shake off the drowsiness. The way he closed his eyes and threw his head back while massaging his neck is getting you riled up. You told yourself to look away, but your eyes were fixated on the masculine display before you. It was also at that moment that Carl stood up from his chair with a hand over his belly. His hurried steps caught you and Jaehyun's attention and you watched as he exited the room and slammed the door close behind him.
Jaehyun's eyes fell on you, his expression smug as ever. With a huff, you rose to your feet, tossing your headphones on the desk before you walked straight toward Jaehyun. He seemed taken aback and confused, frozen on his seat when you pushed his swiveling chair and sent it bumping against the wall. A smirk formed on his lips the moment you grabbed his collar.
"Whoa, whoa," he chuckled, even his voice is driving you insane. "What's with the aggression?"
You silenced his cocky attitude with a hurried kiss, straddling his lap while he grabbed your waist and kissed you back. It didn't take long for the making out to elicit an erection from him. When you gave it a grind, Jaehyun pulled back in surprise. The flustered look on his face gave you confidence.
"Why? What happened to the cockiness you've been giving me all day?" you challenged, running your hands through his neatly styled hair. "Don't tell me you're good with just words?"
He grabbed your hands and locked them behind you, hissing as he snapped at you. "Don't tempt me, y/n."
"Like you have been tempting me all day?"
Jaehyun smirked, leaning in to kiss your collarbone. "How long before Carl comes back from taking care of his business?"
"Long enough," you replied, trying to free your wrists from his hold but Jaehyun was infinitely stronger than you were.
"Good. Be quiet," he whispered to your skin, eyeing the CCTV at the far corner of the office. He gently pushed you off his lap before pulling you into the pantry door and shutting the door close.
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The rendezvous with Jaehyun might have been a bad idea. It didn't only go against what you personally believed in, it also went against your company's code of conduct. You had expected the next day after to be the most awkward, but contrary to what you initially thought, things weren't that bad at all. You kept everything professional and not in a forced way. Jaehyun was cordial, and so were you. It helps that you were all busy chasing the deadline for the audit too.
"Coffee?" Tiffany asked when she passed by your desk on her way to the pantry. You smiled at her, catching Jaehyun's gaze from his desk.
"No, thanks. I'm good."
Yes, you kept everything professional between the two of you, but you haven't forgotten the events of last night just yet. Eventually, you will have to stop avoiding going to the pantry, but you will surely never look at it the same way again.
What could be worse than dating a coworker? Hooking up with them. The no-strings-attached guarantee of hook-ups may sound like a good thing, but it's not when your hookup is your colleague. AND if you hooked up at the office. The chances of your little rendezvous happening again were high. You knew that and you were right.
Coffee? -jjh
You stared at the note for another second then glanced at Jaehyun's direction. He was already eyeing you, his brows lifting as if seeking a response to his query. You mouthed a 'no' before crumpling the sticky note and tossing it in the trash bin under your desk. Jaehyun just grinned, shrugging as he rose to his feet and headed for the pantry. Your eyes followed him, sighing when he disappeared into the door.
"What's wrong?" Jenna whispered in your ear, startling you because you never noticed how closely she was sitting next to you. She chuckled at your surprised reaction. "Girl, you should really slow down on those espressos."
"Indeed, I should," you agreed, laughing awkwardly before resuming your work.
Hooking up with Jaehyun was a bad idea and you had decided it would never happen again. That was a lie, of course, and it was proven to be when you found yourself making out with him in the copy room; your back leaning on the copier for support while he ravaged your lips and your neck. Several times, you couldn't suppress the moans that escaped your lips and several times, Jaehyun had to laughingly remind you to be quiet. On another occasion, he pulls you into the fire exit to make out, where he also had you weak on the knees all day just by going down on you for a good five minutes. The pantry would also be a venue for more than just that one time Carl had a bad stomach. Notes passing became a habit too.
Soon, you and Jaehyun had sullied the secret spaces on your office floor. You've memorized the areas where people never usually went to, the blind spots behind cameras, and the dark corners around. Overtimes became more frequent for you, with most of it being spent with Jaehyun between your legs or yourself bent over the pantry table or the copy machine. Surely, you gotta stop doing this at one point. But at which point exactly? Neither of you ever discussed that. You're not in a kind of relationship where you have to talk about this stuff anyway. As a matter of fact, you never even talk about the hookups. You just find the opportunity at random and then you both grab it each time it appears. That's how it has been for the past few months, and it doesn't look like things might change anytime soon. Or so you thought.
"You look gorgeous!" Tiffany praised, the moment you met her in front of the elevator. "Is that a new dress? Did you go shopping by yourself?"
"Thanks, but this isn't new or anything. I've had this for a while now. Barely wore it though," you replied, looking down at the dress you took your time to pick out this morning.
"Well, you need to wear it more often. You look great in it," Tiffany affirmed so you thanked her again.
At the office, Jenna uttered praises about your outfit too, throwing in a nice comment about how your hair was styled. You haven't really noticed it but these days, you've been paying more attention to your appearance. Not that you never cared before, but lately, you've taken an extra hour from your daily routine and dedicated it to looking great every day at work. Now that you're being praised for it, you had to admit to yourself that the reason for this might have been Jaehyun.
"Are you seeing someone?" Jenna asked while you were having lunch at the pantry. Your eyes briefly met Jaehyun's, who looked at you like he too wanted to know your answer.
"No. That's so random. Why'd you ask?" you chuckled, shaking your head and poking your food with the fork.
"I just had a feeling that you might be seeing someone. You look great these days," Jenna chimed.
"Agreed. You're literally glowing, y/n."
You shrugged, feeling shy because of the attention being focused on you. "I'm just feeling great these days. You know, skincare, working out, good sleep and stuff."
"And stuff?" Tiffany repeated, grinning playfully. "Is it the good stuff?"
Jenna snickered. "Must have been some satisfying stuff."
You chided them sternly, shaking your head at their teasing as you reluctantly glanced at Jaehyun. His head was bowed down as he was looking at his food, eating quietly but the grin on his lips made you kick his feet under the table. Carl jolted next to Jaehyun, whimpering as he reached down his leg.
"Ow, y/n. What was that?"
"Oh, god, I'm sorry," you blurted and gave him an apologetic smile. "Something brushed my feet. I thought it was a rat or something."
The rest of the day went with Jaehyun still giving you a teasing grin. You just rolled your eyes at him each time and refused to deal with it. In the afternoon when you were about to clock out, he pulled you into the fire escape, giving you a quick kiss.
"Stop. I have no time for this," you chided, hitting his chest. Jaehyun just smirked and you saw that as him challenging you. "I'm serious. I have plans and I'm gonna be late."
Jaehyun tutted and then sighed. "That's too bad. I was gonna ask if you'd like to have dinner with me."
"Dinner with you?" you repeated. You heard him clearly, you just weren't expecting that to come out of his mouth. "Just the two of us?"
Jaehyun looked around. "Let's see. There's you, me, and no one else around. Yeah, that means it's gonna be just the two of us."
You scoffed. "Stop playing around. I'm busy."
You were about to leave when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back to his chest. He then pressed soft kisses on your neck. "How about tomorrow?"
"I don't know. I'll check my calendar," you quipped, rolling your eyes. "I'm a busy woman."
"Come on, I'll pick you up," Jaehyun chuckled, giving you a chaste kiss on the lips before tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear. Somehow, his actions and the way he's looking at you felt affectionate, making your heart race. "Assuming you don't want to leave the office together. But if you're okay with that, we can just go right after clocking out."
"Why would you want to have dinner together?"
Jaehyun looked at you like you just asked him the stupidest question he's ever heard. "Why not? Is it not allowed?"
"No," you replied but then shook your head. "I mean, it's not that it isn't allowed. It's just... weird."
"Weird? The good stuff is fine, but dinner is weird?"
"Good stuff?" you hollered, hitting his chest as you felt your cheeks flare with embarrassment. "What good stuff are you talking about?"
"That's what you girls called it," Jaehyun laughed, trapping your hands so you'd stop hitting him. "Alright, I'm sorry. That was ungentlemanly of me."
"You're far from being a gentleman, Jung Jaehyun."
"Okay, I know why you think that way. So, maybe you'd be curious to see me be the gentleman that I am and have dinner with me. Tomorrow, after work."
You rolled your eyes and sighed in defeat. "Fine. I'll think about it."
"Great," he lilted, fishing his phone from his pocket and handing it to you. "This is the part where I ask for your number. Though, I know I should have done that a long time ago."
You scoffed as you took his phone and dialed your own number. After that, he kissed you again and you ended up making out for a few more minutes before you hurriedly stepped out of the door back into the building. You didn't expect to see Jenna when you pushed through the door. Her bright smile was a contrast to your surprised expression.
"Oh, hi! Are you leaving now? Should we go together?"
You were just about to respond when Jaehyun stepped out of the door behind you. Jenna stood there confusedly, eyes moving from him to you and him and back to you again. You grabbed her arm and led her away with a burst of awkward laughter.
"Yes. We should leave together," you blurted, dragging her away. "I was actually on my way to see my mom. Would you like to come with me?"
Jenna's face lit up. "I'd love to! I haven't seen her in ages!"
"Good. She'll be glad to see you too."
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Dinner with Jaehyun? This year is really full of surprises for you. Jaehyun went from being a man you thought you'd never see again to picking you up at your apartment on time for a dinner date. This was impossible a few months ago, but now there he is, standing by his car in a nice suit and neatly styled hair as he waits for you to come down.
"There you are," he chimed, greeting you with a sweet smile and a peck on your cheek. You kissed him back, thanking him after he opened the car door for you.
"So, where are you taking me?" you asked as he occupied the driver's seat.
Jaehyun chuckled, probably because of the way you phrased your question. "Where am I taking you? You make this whole thing sound so insincere."
You just shrugged, not denying his observation. "Sorry, just not used to this at all."
"I don't blame you," he replied, shaking his head. "The way we got into this relationship is unconventional."
Relationship? You hummed. Well, whatever this is that you have with him, it is considered a relationship, just not the roses and dinner dates kind. Still, here you are, pulling up in front of a nice restaurant. Jaehyun was attentive to you, opening doors and pulling chairs out. You know better than to assume he was an actual gentleman. His telling you he'll show you how much of a gentleman he was has kinda ruined it for you. Whatever this dinner was for, you decided not to overthink it anymore and just enjoy the night.
"To be fair, I was hoping not to see you again after that," you told him over steak and wine. You were talking about random things when the first time you met him was casually brought up. "I don't really like being nice and friendly with one-night stands the morning after."
"Is that so?" he questioned, brows furrowed but he had an amused smile on his lips. "I thought we had something going on."
You scoffed. "Something going on? Jaehyun, come on. You're not expecting to form some kind of connection with a girl you met at a nightclub. Well, except maybe the physical kind."
Your statement had Jaehyun throwing his head back as he laughed. "God, y/n, you have no idea how adorable you are."
Your cheeks flared at the compliment, but you chose to act aloof and just roll your eyes. "Now, you're just simping."
"Wait, what happened to the witty flirt who swept me entirely off my feet that one night at the club?" he asked so you shrugged.
"That time and right now are different. I was trying to flirt with someone then, now I'm just enjoying dinner with a coworker."
"A coworker?" Jaehyun's smile turned mischievous, dropping his fork gently on his plate so he could use his hand to wipe the corner of your mouth with a napkin. "Just a coworker?"
A coworker you have occasional quickies with. "Don't flatter yourself, Jaehyun."
"How can I not? Having a date as gorgeous as you are is very flattering indeed."
This time, it was your turn to let out an amused laugh. "It's amazing how well you use words to charm people. Is that a skill?"
"It might be but I'm not too confident in that aspect. I'd say I'm more well-versed in other uses for the mouth."
You choked on the wine and did so violently that you had a hard time breathing. Jaehyun was quick to offer you a glass of water, but mischief never left his lips. You glared at him because of that. "Whatever happened to being a gentleman?"
Jaehyun just wiggled his eyebrows, laughing after you rolled your eyes at him. Fortunately, he dropped the teasing and you were able to eat in peace. A huge part of you expected the night to extend until after dinner. You imagined all sorts of scenarios, all of them leading up to you and Jaehyun alone in an actual bedroom this time. It could be his place, or yours, maybe a hotel room. And as you were making out with him in the car right in front of your apartment, you pictured both of you naked on your bed and your mind went as far as waking up in the morning with him beside you.
So when he bade you a reluctant goodbye, and wished you a good night's sleep, you couldn't even hide the disappointment on your face.
"Everything alright?" he asked, noticing your silence as you sat there dumbfounded.
"Yeah," you muttered, still in a daze. Embarrassment soon crept up on you, making you look away and reach for the car door. "Good night, Jaehyun."
"You're not gonna invite me in?"
The way your head immediately turned to him and your face lit up was embarrassing, but your body was aching to be one with his so you ignored the shame. "Would you like me to?"
"I was waiting for it," he chimed, gently pulling you by the neck to kiss you again. When he broke away, he looked apologetic. "But we have work tomorrow and it's getting late."
"You're right," you chuckled nervously. "Duh."
Jaehyun smiled contently, giving you one last peck on the lips before letting you go. "See you tomorrow?"
You flattened your lips together, eyeing him curiously as you asked, "You know we can't date in the office, right?"
"Of course. It's a workplace. Not a dating spot," he chuckled and you sighed exasperatedly.
"No, I meant we can't date coworkers. It's a rule in the company."
Jaehyun looked like he was hearing about this for the first time. "That's a thing?"
"Oh, you didn't know?" you chuckled. "That's fine. It's not like we're dating or anything, right?"
"We're not?"
You groaned in frustration. "Okay, you know what? We're not having this conversation. I'm gonna go."
Jaehyun didn't stop you from exiting the car, but he bade you goodnight before you stepped into your apartment building. The dinner was pleasant but not that you were alone, you realized what a disaster it had been. Thoughts flooded your mind, all of them about Jaehyun; his dinner invitation, his intentions, the subtle implications in his statements, and what's going on in his mind. You thought maybe he was just teasing with his subtle hints. Surely he can't be serious about it, right? He's a grown man who knows how to properly communicate. If he wants more than what you already have right now, he can tell you directly without the mixed signals.
Then again, what if you're both just adults with communication issues? Admittedly, you too have no idea what you want out of this setup. Sure, you enjoy the thrill of it but one way or another, one of you has to be responsible enough to put an end to this.
That being said, you found yourself finding the right opportunity to bring it up with Jaehyun. Unfortunately, work kept both of you busy for the following days after your first date. So much that he can't even find the slightest opportunity for a quick rendezvous around the office. Other than work-related subjects, quick greetings, and fleeting glances, you have yet to speak a proper conversation with Jaehyun.
"Hi," Jaehyun greeted as he rounded the long conference room table. "You're here early."
You panicked on your feet, standing up in surprise at his sudden appearance. Doing so, your hand that was sitting on your lap hit the edge of the table so hard that you thought a bone was broken. Groaning in pain, you clenched your fist in hopes that it might alleviate the pain. Jaehyun rushed over to you, gently taking your hand in his to examine it.
"Why are you so clumsy?" he chided softly, blowing on the reddened skin. "Does it hurt?"
"No," you replied. It did hurt a while ago, but now that you were moving it, the pain has gone and you were relieved to know you didn't actually break a bone. More importantly, you are currently exhilarated because this is the closest you've gotten to Jaehyun in the past few days. The whiff of his perfume was faint, but it was enough to make you feel euphoric.
Jaehyun eyed you curiously, his forehead creasing with concern. "Are you sure? Does it hurt if I do this?" With gentle hands, he pressed on the reddened spot.
"Jaehyun, should we stop this?" you asked directly, and the astonishment on his face was evident.
"Stop this? This?" he asked back, motioning for your hand. You sighed, flattening your lips tightly together. Jaehyun's face darkened. "Oh, you don't mean that, do you?"
You pulled your hand back, shoulders sagging in frustration. "See, this is the problem with us. We talk in codes instead of communicating like grown adults."
He opened his mouth to speak, but the door opened before he could say something. Your co-workers walked in, chattering like busy bees. While that was happening, Jaehyun was moving back to his seat. The meeting began after quick greetings and work dragged you away from a proper conversation once again.
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"GUESS WHAT?!" Tiffany exclaimed when she found you and Tiffany in the pantry. Her eyes gleamed with excitement and she was jittering like she'd explode if you didn't respond to her immediately.
Jenna was the one who asked, "What?"
"There's a secret couple in our company!" Tiffany said briskly, in a single breath. Your ears rang warning bells. "And it's from our floor."
"From which department?" Jenna asked.
"No one knows yet, but apparently, Olive from Marketing saw two people making out in the fire escape."
At this point, you were sweating bullets despite the cool office. You wanted to remove yourself from the conversation but there was no excuse to leave. And to be honest, part of you wanted to know what people were saying about this.
"Oh my god, who?" Jenna was completely invested, it seems.
"They could either be from the same department or separate. But what if they're from ours?" Tiffany squealed.
Jenna appeared to think. "That's a possibility but who could it be? It's not like we know two people who are weirdly close to each other. Ones who act all sneaky and jumpy from time to time. And also keeps sneaking glances at someone from across the room."
You were stirring your coffee slowly, quietly listening without looking at them. But then you noticed they'd stopped talking so you glanced at them only to realize that they had been staring at you.
"Why? What's up?" you asked dumbly, still a little jittery.
"Well, would you look at that? It seems we do know someone," Jenna grinned knowingly and you could feel the color draining from your face. You and Jenna eyed each other, her looking like a predator who just found her prey, and you feeling smaller and smaller. You knew that she now knows. Feeling caught, you gulped the entirety of your coffee and belched.
"Sorry. I'm gonna go," you told them.
Jenna snickered. "Oh, okay. I'm gonna follow you then."
"Wait! Hey! Who is it?" Tiffany called out, following the two of you out of the pantry. "Girls! What do you know?"
Fuck the universe, you told yourself. The moment you left the pantry, your eyes caught Jaehyun who just entered the office. He did a double-take upon seeing you, stopping in his tracks and walking toward you. Jenna nudged your elbow a little too obviously, so you nudged her back.
"Hi," he began, smiling at the girls and then back at you. "Carl passed me on to you. He said you were in charge of this before so I should come to you for help."
You peered at the file he was handing to you and then turned to Tiffany. "Yeah, I did. But Tiffany worked on this after the previous analyst resigned. I just helped a little."
"Oh? Which file is it?" Tiffany questioned, also looking at the papers. "Yes, I can help, but y/n did the work on this entire project. It was already perfect so I didn't change anything on it and just submitted it as it is."
"You didn't?" you asked Tiffany who shook her head in response.
"Great. Will you help me update it then?"
"Oh, she'll help you just fine," Jenna giggled, nudging you forward. "She's really good at her job. Just don't go sneaking around."
"Jenna!" you chided but your friend just laughed, grabbed Tiffany by the arm, and walked away with a wave.
You groaned in frustration, snatching the file from Jaehyun's hand and mumbling to yourself. Jaehyun inched closer.
"Everything alright?"
"Jenna knows we hooked up."
"Jenna?" Jaehyun repeated, taken aback by your confession. He looked at Jenna who was still walking away with Tiffany. "She did seem like the type to catch on quickly."
"She's sharp when she needs to be," you replied, also glancing at your girl friends. "But she's not the most observant in our office. If she noticed something was going on with us, others will soon realize it too."
"Are you free tonight?"
You glared at him. "Did you even listen to a word I said?"
Jaehyun shrugged, tucking his hands in his pockets. "We can talk about it over dinner if you're down. It's on me."
You rolled your eyes in disbelief, then turned on your heel to leave. He calls out your name so you waved your hand in the air. "Fine. Whatever. Just go away for now."
Jaehyun was grinning fondly, but he heeded your request and walked the opposite way.
Dinner was quiet. Jaehyun kept chatting you up, and he had to keep prompting you because you kept drifting away into an absentminded daze. It's not that you didn't want to listen, you just had something in your mind that's making you dissociate with your company.
"Y/n," he prompted again, now looking concerned.
"Sorry. You were saying?"
Jaehyun exhaled calmly. "Nothing important. Would you like me to drive you home and call it a day?"
"What? No, I..." you paused, sighed in defeat, and then massaged your temples impatiently. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright," he replied, smiling sweetly. He reached for your hand on the table and squeezed it. "Just let me know if I can help."
You shrugged. "I'm just really tired right now."
"I know. Work hasn't been the easiest for all of us."
"Right," you chimed, looking down at your food that you barely touched. "Actually... I really think we should stop this."
Once again, Jaehyun's handsome face darkened with concern. "Is there a specific reason why you keep saying that?"
"Nothing!" you blurted. "I mean, yes! Of course, there is! We can't keep doing this as coworkers. People from work are soon gonna notice."
Jaehyun shrugged. "What's wrong with dating a coworker?"
You laughed derisively. "Aside from the fact that it's a spoken rule to not date a coworker, we are also not dating. I thought we both knew that?"
"We're not?"
"You see that?" you told him, stern and annoyed. "That's our problem. Despite being so intelligent and charming, you always played dumb whenever I bring this up."
Jaehyun exhaled sharply, letting go of your hand and straightening his back. "It's a serious question, y/n. I am actually under the impression that we're already dating."
"Having sex occasionally does not mean we're already dating, Mr. Jung Jaehyun."
"Then at what point do we start dating?"
At this point, you were fuming because of frustration. You couldn't tell if he was pretending to be dumb or if he was actually clueless. Although, the look on his face told you he was genuinely curious about the answer to his question.
"Come on, Jae. You've dated before, I'm sure you know this isn't how it goes."
"Indeed I have but..." he paused, looking away with a creased forehead. "I never had to spell it out to them."
Oh, to be Jung Jaehyun, charming and gorgeous enough to pull any girl he wants. He probably never had to chase after someone he liked. They all probably fell head over heels for him immediately. Like you did.
"Do you like me then?" you asked straightforwardly. If you were to be asked the same question, you would say 'yes' in a heartbeat. That's because you do like him, a lot actually. You don't have deep feelings for him yet, but you feel a romantic spark with him that could lead to something.
"I won't sleep with someone I don't like, y/n."
"It's a yes or no question."
"Yes!" he pressed on, laughing at you like you should've already known the answer. "What do you think?"
You sighed, slowly processing the situation before you. "Won't you ask me if I liked you at all?"
"No," he replied curtly, poking his food with the fork.
His answer made you scoff loudly. "What if I tell you I don't like you?"
A grin formed on his lips as he looked up to meet your gaze. "Then I'd call you a liar. You like me, y/n. I know."
"You're awfully confident," you bluffed, crossing your arms over your chest to challenge him. "Where is that coming from?"
Jaehyun smiled cockily, leaning back on his chair with an air of confidence. "It comes from the way you held on to me tightly whenever you're in my arms."
Your jaw dropped open. Embarrassed, you covered your mouth and looked away. Jaehyun didn't stop.
"The way you trusted me enough to keep doing what we've been doing these past few months. Even the way you look at me from across the room. My confidence comes from those."
You took a deep breath and faced him again. "Okay. You can shut up now."
"That's why I thought we were already dating, y/n," he continued. "I thought we liked each other enough to call this dating. I was just beginning to treat you the way a girlfriend should be treated but work is keeping both of us apart."
You were quiet because you didn't have anything to say, so you just let him talk. Like always, he is composed, confident, and well-articulate. Had he explicitly asked to date you, you would've said 'yes'. Then again, your relationship didn't start in a meet-cute kind of way. It didn't blossom beautifully like cherry blossoms in spring. So he had a point. To be honest, you had no idea how it was supposed to go given the situation. But you would still have preferred if you two just talked about it like proper adults.
"Should I just quit?"
"What?" you asked, not because you didn't understand him but because the question was downright ridiculous. "Why would you quit?"
Jaehyun pouted. "Because I want to be a proper boyfriend."
Boyfriend. Did he actually just say that? And is that an ecstatic giddiness you're feeling?
"You're way in over your head, Jae," you ridiculed, successfully hiding your elation behind aloofness. "You're not my boyfriend."
"Alright, then, how do I become one?"
Just ask, you thought. You didn't want to have to spell it out for him. If you did, you would think he was only asking because you told him to. "How do you not know?"
"If I ask you now, would you say 'yes'?"
"You'll never know unless you try."
Jaehyun straightened up in his seat, reaching for your hand again as he gazed into your eyes. You stared back, letting his deep, dark brown eyes lure you into a beautiful abyss--the kind that's impossible to escape once you fall into it.
"Be my girlfriend, y/n."
You blinked. "Oh, that's not exactly asking."
"No, it's not. That was me making it official with you." Jaehyun's self-esteem is impressively baffling. It almost feels like he's got you wrapped up in his finger. In fact, it feels like he knew exactly that things would go his way, no matter what. He knew what he wanted, and he also knew you wanted the same thing, it seems.
Nevertheless, a voice in your head is screaming a protest. He's a coworker. Indeed, he is. The sex may be phenomenal, but he's still a coworker.
You could abandon your beliefs and take a leap. Jaehyun could be worth the risk of breaking office rules. Not to mention you've already broken said rules anyway, even making a sacrilege of your workplace. Though secretly, it was still scandalous. You never knew you'd be the type to engage in something so risky. It didn't even need any convincing, you straight up just did what was done. You gotta admit though, you liked every second of it; the risk, the thrill, not to mention Jaehyun in his entirety.
Your eyes flitted over to him. His sweet smile will make people assume he's a gentleman, which might be true if you didn't know what he was capable of doing in a hidden but still public space. You remembered the first time you had sex in the pantry; it was quick, almost fleeting. But it was unforgettable and you were absolutely satisfied, so you kept doing it. His aggressive thrusts, hand tight over your mouth to keep you from making any noise, the urgency on his face, and the release that comes crashing through. The image that registered in your head made you squeeze your thighs.
Jaehyun tapped twice on the back of your hand. That was when you realized your mind had wandered elsewhere and was dazed. "What's on your mind, babe?"
Babe? "You."
He didn't even flinch, nor was he taken aback. He just tilted his head a little, and asked, "And why is that when I'm right here in front of you?"
You stared at his lips, craving their warmth and the way they felt on your lips, on your neck, and on the skin of your inner thighs. Your breath hitched and a moan almost escaped your lips because of the vivid memory. You looked away from him and started fanning your face, worried your lewd thoughts were showing.
"Do you want to get out of here?" you breathed, meeting his eyes again. Jaehyun shook his head, moving his glass so the red wine would swirl.
"Don't ask, baby. You know I'd do anything for you."
"Should we just go, then?"
Jaehyun licked his lips, savoring the rich wine. "That's still asking. Assert yourself, babe."
You stood up at once, grabbing his hand on the table and dragging him up. Jaehyun almost choked on the wine he was still drinking, but he quickly put it down and tossed the napkin on the table. You weren't paying him any attention, eager to just leave the restaurant as soon as possible. When you reached the sidewalk, you stopped and looked around.
"I must say, that's one way of asserting yourself," Jaehyun quipped but you ignored his comment and pointed to a certain building around the block.
"Let's go that way," you ordered, and wasted no time discussing plans.
Jaehyun was more than happy to oblige. When you reached the hotel, he was the one who checked you in using his name and his card. You'd barely gotten inside your suite before Jaehyun had you up against the wall, his lips crashing into yours urgently while his arms held you strongly.
You kissed hungrily like you'd been starved for days, which was true because you hadn't had any alone time with Jaehyun for a while now. You ran your hand up his muscly arms to his broad shoulders. Jaehyun reached over to your ass and lifted you off your feet while you wrapped your legs around his waist.
"Take me to bed," you breathed, almost in a whisper. "Please?"
"Anything you want, baby," he grinned, biting his lip as he strode over to the king-sized bed. He laid you down gently, caressing your cheek and letting his hand wander from your face to your clothed breasts. He cupped it and gently squeezed it, and his eyes never left yours even for a second. You pushed yourself up to kiss him and as you did, your dress slipped off of your skin. Jaehyun reached for your back, then you found your bra leaving your body the same way your dress did. When his fingers found your nipple and gave it a good squeeze, you let out a moan that made his face twitch. "God, you're so beautiful."
His mouth went to where his fingers had been, sucking, pulling, and teasing at the sensitive bud. Each contact electrified you to the core. His hands are everywhere at once until they find the cloth of your lace underwear. "Can I do--"
"Jaehyun! Less talking, more doing," you interjected, your voice urgent and your tone pleading. "Please."
He chuckled a little. "So polite."
You wriggled out of your panties as he undressed, seemingly taking his time to stall you on purpose. You hated the smug look on his face because you knew he was taunting you. He knew exactly that you were desperate for him, and that you'd beg if he pushed you hard enough.
Jaehyun hovered over you, staring at you intently with lustful eyes and a cocky grin. You tried not to fall for it, but you needed him so you folded.
"Jung Jaehyun, I swear to god if you keep this up, I'm walking out that door," you threatened, You would never do that, but you'd like to see if it would have any effect on him.
Jaehyun inched closer to your face, planting a tender kiss on your lips before moving his head all the way down between your thighs. Without warning, he started lapping on your cunt, squeezing your thighs in the process. You didn't even try to muffle your moans, instead, you screamed them out. Your stomach was doing somersaults and your head was flying on cloud nine. Just as you were about to feel the release coming, Jaehyun stood on his knees and looked down at your confused expression. He flashed a grin that made your belly flutter. There he was, hovering over you with a body that looked like he was some Greek god sculpture, except that his size was nowhere near that of any Greek sculpture.
You stretched up your arms and Jaehyun fell into them. He kissed you again, needily. And when he thrust himself into you, you cried out in sweet surrender; rocking against his hips, kissing his shoulder, his neck, his chin, and then his lips like you'd die if you didn't. The release hit you like a waterbomb, making you dig your nails into Jaehyun's skin. And then he too cried out of release before he collapsed on top of you, panting.
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When you awoke, Jaehyun was still beside, you playing with your hair as he watched your eyes fluttering. You blinked several times, trying to make sense of what was happening. The civility of it all, the fog of affection in the air, his sweet smile, and the warm glow of admiration in his eyes.
"That was an excellent dinner," he quipped, making you smile. "How about some dessert?"
You scoffed then hit his chest. But Jaehyun just gave you a good-natured laugh before gently flicking your forehead.
"I meant real dessert," he scolded softly, motioning to the table across the room. There sat a course of desserts and fruits, as well as a champagne bottle in a bucket of ice.
"Oh," you blurted.
"I'll give you the other dessert later," he added so you glared at him again. Jaehyun was quick on his feet, jumping down the bed and running towards the table before you could even try to hit him. You couldn't help laughing at the unexpectedly goofy display. You weren't discouraged though, if anything, you liked him more because he was adorable.
You sat on the bed and noticed you were wearing a nightgown. You recalled falling asleep after the sex and had faint recollections of Jaehyun telling you to raise your hands so he could dress you up. You thought that had been a dream but looking at the silky dress on your body, you now realize it wasn't.
Delectable food waited for you on the table. Despite being apprehensive about it at first, you gobbled the good food. Over conversations, you also emptied the bottle of champagne and that had you pawing at each other for a while before you both ended up back on the bed, moaning under the sheets.
You spent the weekend in that hotel room; chatting, eating, and goofing around. The fact that you're not shoving your tongue down his throat every hour was surprising. But then you realized that you've learned more about each other in two days of being alone together than you did the past six months.
You strutted into the office with a beautiful glow at work on an early Monday morning. Your steps were light and you were humming happily as you sat in your cubicle. Jenna was quick to notice your ecstatic demeanor.
"Did something good happen this weekend?"
A smile crept on your lips. "No. It wasn't good. It was amazing."
Jenna mirrored your grin, pushing her chair closer to yours. "Why? What was it? Did you and Jaehyun go on a date?"
"How did you-" you stopped, sighed, and rolled your eyes. "What do you mean?"
She nudged your shoulder. "Oh, so you did. Is that why he was in a hotel all weekend?"
Your eyes widened in surprise. "How did you know that?"
Jenna covered her lips, looking like she had been caught. "Ah, that slipped out. Excuse me."
Her chair slid back to her desk to escape you. Intrigued about how she knew about the hotel, you followed her to ask but before you could speak, your department head tapped on your desk and asked you to see him in the meeting room.
"We'll talk later," you told Jenna before following your superior.
Jaehyun entered the office just as you were passing by the doorway on your way to the meeting room. He flashed you a sweet smile which made you giddy. You smiled back before disappearing into the meeting room. That was the beginning of your hidden relationship. It was so much different from your sexual rendezvous, this was more exciting. The secret glances, mouthing endearments when no one is looking, brushing hands or shoulders on purpose, and the contentment of being close to each other when you happened to gather together with your other coworkers. Each day, you leave the office separately only to end up in each other's embrace at night. In the morning, you arrive to work separately too, eagerly waiting for the day to be over so you'd be together again. It was fun and exciting, so much so that you felt like a giddy teenager experiencing your first relationship ever.
"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this," Jaehyun complained, nuzzling his nose on the crook of your neck. He kissed your skin and inhaled your scent. "I miss you."
"You miss me? We see each other every day," you chided softly, turning so you were face to face with him. You snaked your arms around his neck and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. Other than the pantry, this file room has also become your secret meeting place. "We practically live together since you're always at my place."
Jaehyun exhaled sharply, unconvinced. "That's not enough."
You tapped his chest twice, pulling away from him. "We're not kids, Jaehyun. Let's make do with what we get."
Jaehyun sighed, leaning on the shelves and then crossing his arm over his chest. "We can get more than this, you know?"
"How do you suggest we do that?" you questioned curiously. You're not convinced that his idea will be a good one but you wanted to hear what he had to say.
"I could try talking to the HR about the ban."
You scoffed. "That's your big idea?"
Jaehyun just shrugged. "Not really. It's part of the idea. Would you like to meet my parents?"
Your brows are tied in a knot. "Out of nowhere?"
"Yeah. I told them I am dating this intelligent, charming, and lovely woman. They can't wait to meet you."
Well, that was sudden. Despite your previous physical relationship, you haven't been official for long but he's already talking about meeting his parents. Jaehyun had to leave before you could give him an answer because a coworker walked into the file room. You seemed unnerved about the invitation but you were actually ruminating on it all day, weighing the pros and cons of this meeting.
That night, Jaehyun couldn't go to your place because of a prior engagement. But when he called you right before going to sleep, you told him you'd love to meet his parents. There should be no pressure, it's just a brunch. You told yourself to relax and not overthink it.
And so the weekend came. Jaehyun looked majestic in his Prada cardigan, leaning on his car as he waited for you in the parking lot of your apartment. He greeted you with a sweet smile and an even sweeter kiss, followed by a compliment on your hair and your outfit.
"You smell nice too, damn," he added, smelling your neck and tightening his hug. You just giggled, letting him sniff you all he wanted. It was all cute and adorable until he was pulling you by the waist and pressing his crotch on you. "Should we just stay in?"
You laughed heartily. "Let's go, Jaehyun."
"Call me 'baby' and I'll listen to you."
"Baby," you obliged but your tone was stern instead of endearing.
Jaehyun threw his head back, groaning. "God, that backfired. We really should just stay in."
You pushed him aside, opened the car door, and then locked yourself in his shotgun. Jaehyun was grinning when he rounded the car to sit in the driver's seat. He wasn't done flirting with you though because as soon as he was inside, he pulled you into a kiss--long, sweet, passionate. Oh, how he made you feel so beautiful.
He drove halfway across the city, locking your hands together and singing along to the song on his stereo. When you finally reached your destination, you were in awe of the luxurious home before you. You had an inkling that Jaehyun might have been rich but not this rich. His family house is hidden behind a high fence, probably ten feet high, and inside was a literal mansion surrounded by well-kept landscaping. If you're gonna be honest, the display of wealth made you nervous.
"Intimidating, isn't it?" said the familiar voice of a woman. When you spun to see who it was, your jaw dropped upon seeing Jenna walking towards you and Jaehyun. She grinned at your shocked expression. "It's scarier inside."
"Jen," Jaehyun chided. "Don't scare her."
"Jenna?" you exclaimed. Your friend flashed a silly grin.
"I knew something was going on between you two."
You shook your hands to dismiss her. "Wait, before that. What are you doing here?"
Jaehyun interjected. "She lives here."
You did a double-take, checking if you heard it wrong. Jenna let out a hearty laughter. "Sorry, hon. I would've told you but that would ruin the whole point of being undercover."
"Undercover?" you echoed, touching your temples. "Wait, how about explaining it to me like I'm five?"
Jaehyun and Jenna laughed before the latter guided you inside the house. On your way, she explained that she and Jaehyun are siblings. And that the company's CEO was their older brother. It was straight out of a soap opera and Jaehyun assured you that your reaction was understandable. He also apologized for not telling you about it sooner.
"It's fine, I was just... surprised, I guess?" you blurted. You reach the garden area where a group of people are happily chatting at a dining table. Jenna walked ahead of you, tapped an elder woman on the shoulder, and told her you had arrived.
This elder woman was beautiful and had an air of elegance about her. She stood up from her chair to welcome you.
"Hi, Mom," Jaehyun greeted, giving his mom a peck on the cheek. "This is my girlfriend, y/n."
"Hello, y/n. Wow, Jaehyun wasn't lying when he said you were very lovely." His Mom beamed at you, and contrary to what you expected, she was warm and sweet, ushering you to sit next to her at the dining table while asking you about the journey here.
You met his brother, a face you were so intimidated to see because you knew he was the Big Boss of your workplace. He was cordial and well-mannered, and so was his wife. You didn't ask about his father but based on their conversation, you figured out that he had passed away. You knew better than to ask. Brunch hasn't started yet, but you were already gathered in the garden. At first, you thought it would only be you and them, but a group of people arrived and you found out you were meeting Jaehyun's extended family too.
"We're Koreans. Family means so much to us," Jenna told you. "Not all of us are close though."
Brunch began shortly after their cousins arrived. The food was great and the conversations were engaging enough. Most of the attention was on you because apparently, you were the 'first girl he brought home in three years' according to Jaehyun's brother. Jenna confirmed it too. After the satisfying meal of hearty Korean food, you all dispersed to your own little circles. Jenna dragged you to the patio, chatting with you and apologizing for not telling you about her relationship with Jaehyun. You told her it was fine and that you understood why she had to do it. Jaehyun followed closely behind you two.
"So, are you gonna marry my brother?" Jenna asked and the question made your heart race.
"Stop calling me that. It's giving me chills," Jaehyun interjected so Jenna hissed at him.
"Shut up, I'm not talking to you."
You nervously laughed. "We just started dating."
"Yes, so, is he a marriage prospect or not?" Jenna pressed on.
Jaehyun was the one who said, "We haven't talked about that yet."
"Jaehyun, go away," Jenna complained, pushing her brother but he didn't budge. Jaehyun pulled a face at her to which she responded by lunging her tiny frame at his large physique. They bickered for a moment while you watched in fondness.
Then you said, "He's right, we haven't thought that far ahead."
Jaehyun grabbed his sister's wrists to stop her from hitting him, and then he stared at you, looking befuddled. "We haven't?"
You stared back at him, wondering if you had said wrong. "Have we? I know we haven't. Did I forget?"
"No, you didn't," he replied, letting go of Jenna's arms and straightening up. "I mean, we haven't talked about it yet. But I was already thinking that far ahead."
You blinked, surprised by his confession. Jenna snickered and said, "You can't say that so openly, dear brother. You're putting her on the spot."
"I'm putting her on the spot? You're putting her on the spot! You started this discussion!" Jaehyun whined. You couldn't help laughing at the rare sight. He'd always appeared well-mannered, calm, and collected. Seeing him bicker with his sister made him even more endearing.
"Why not? You guys aren't getting any younger. This is an important question to ask!"
While the siblings bickered, your thoughts screamed loud enough that they deafened you from external noises. Marriage was never an issue to you, you can get married anytime you want as long as you want to. But only now were you realizing that you've gotten old and this was in fact an important question to ask.
Still, now is a little too early for it. Truth be told, you don't know if you want to take this relationship to that level yet. Sure, you're in love but with marriage, love is not the only factor that needs to be considered. Jaehyun is from an affluent family with influence and money, you don't know if you want to be a part of it. Even if you did want to be, you're not sure if his family would want you for him. So far, they had been nothing but nice. Then again, it will be no surprise if these families have criteria that you might be too middle-class to comprehend.
"Baby," Jaehyun prompted, nudging your shoulder. "What were you thinking?"
"You," you replied absentmindedly. Jaehyun grinned coyly.
"Really? We're in the middle of a family gathering, but I think can make up a good excuse to leave."
You rolled your eyes at his lascivious thoughts. "No that's not what I meant, dumbass."
Jaehyun chuckled. "That's a shame. I was ready for it. No, actually, I'm always ready for it."
"For what?"
He pressed his nose on the side of your head, sniffing your hair before whispering, "For my naughty little girlfriend who randomly gets these sudden urges to ride me till I'm spent and dripping."
Your face flared at the lewd image that formed in your mind. Holding your cheeks, you walked away from him in embarrassment. Jaehyun laughingly called out to you. "You'll dry me up in no time, baby."
You glanced back at him, scandalized. "Oh my god, be quiet!"
"What?" he mimed, looking around. "No one heard me."
"I did and you're gross," Jenna grimaced before walking away too.
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It's been a week since the family luncheon. Aside from the fact that you now know Jenna and Jaehyun are siblings, nothing much has changed in your relationship. You admit that it was weird with Jenna at first, in a way that whenever you have your usual girl talk, you suddenly remember who she was and just daze. It took some getting used to. Same case with Jaehyun who gets ordered around the office for being a newbie and him doing everything he is told to do like he's not the literal son of the company's founder. You realized just how much humility these two have and how impressive it was that they were raised this way instead of the regular snobbish rich kids.
Your boyfriend's identity had you ruminating about the future of your relationship. What would be the reactions you'd get if people found out you were dating a coworker--especially if it's revealed that he was actually the CEO's brother? You'd surely be called a Cinderella, scoring a jackpot by dating a billionaire's son. People might think it's magical, while most will assume you were in it for the money. Either way, the possibility of your life being put under public scrutiny terrifies you.
"GUESS WHAT?" Tiffany barged into the meeting room, startling you and Jenna. You clutched your heart, beating rapidly in its cage while Jenna gave your coworker a stern look.
"You gotta stop with the dramatic entrances, Tiff," said Jenna.
"Jung Jaehyun just got named CHRO."
Jenna scoffed. "Yeah, and Jung Jenna just became COO. Jaehyun would die and get reborn again before he takes an executive role in this company. Shut the door."
Tiffany shook her head as he approached you, pushing the door close as she went. "I'm serious. Check the company page. They just announced it."
You toggled on your tablet and pulled up the company portal. And there it was, the announcement of the company's latest personnel changes. Jung Jaehyun was indeed the Chief Human Resources Officer.
"Why would he take that job?" you questioned, genuinely curious. Jenna told you before that Jaehyun was supposed to come in as a department head since his education and experience made him qualified for the position, but he still chose to do the undercover thing. Now he's suddenly a CHRO?
"No way, he's not!"
"Apparently, he is. And guess what was the first thing he asked to change in the company policy?"
"What?" you and Jenna asked in a chorus. Tiffany ducked to toggle on the screen and opened another announcement.
"He abolished the dating ban among coworkers. Effective immediately."
Your jaw hung open, while Jenna started laughing like a maniac. Then she said, "Jung Jaehyun, that sly little bastard."
"Does that mean he has a girlfriend here?"
Jenna eyed you. "Yeah, he obviously has a girlfriend here."
"Or he could be sympathizing with the people here who want to date but can't because of the ban," you suggested, trying to challenge Jenna.
"Yeah, like you," Jenna teased. You just rolled your eyes, giving up on challenging her. "He must really like this girl to go through this much trouble. I didn't know he could do something admirable."
"No way!" Tiffany exclaimed, eyes still glued to the screen. You and Jenna turned to her. "Jaehyun is the CEO's younger brother?"
Jenna exhaled sharply, rolling her eyes. "Oh, boy. I guess this is where it starts." She walked away, bidding you quick goodbyes before disappearing to the door. You and Tiffany stayed, waiting for the meeting to begin.
The next few days at work were filled with excited chatters and gossip. During the company's annual staff meeting, Jaehyun and Jenna are introduced as family members of the company. Their positions were also made official, sparking up a debate among the employees on whether they deserved their posts or if it was plain nepotism. You didn't join any of these discussions, but when you're alone with Jaehyun, you'd tease him for being a nepo baby and he'd just laugh at it.
"Should we go to work together today?" Jaehyun asked, nuzzling his nose on your neck.
"No," you replied briskly, scoffing as you pulled away from him. Jaehyun, a lot stronger than you were, grabbed your waist and pulled you back to bed with him.
Your apartment has never been this warm. Love emanated from the walls and you've never felt this content with a relationship. Jaehyun seemed to have made this small studio apartment his favorite place to be and you're not complaining at all. He would spend the night here almost every day. You would sleep in each other's arms, and wake up still cuddling.
"I made coffee," Jaehyun would boast in the morning. "And pancakes too but they're not as fluffy as the ones from the breakfast cafe."
"I love the pancakes you make," you would tell him.
And he'd say, "Thanks, I love you too."
He'd ask to drive you to work but you'd decline. It's been three months since he became head of HR, but the people at work are still clueless about your relationship. You liked it that way, but you also feel bad for Jaehyun who would often invite you to lunch or for coffee. It's not that you don't want to, it's mainly because you'd rather not be talked about. Jaehyun seemed to just take it in stride. He'd ask once in a while, and if you declined, he'd give up and try again next time. He's been most understanding of your reasons.
But then again, he's Jung Jaehyun; he will never let up until things go his way. That said, he walked into your office on a Wednesday afternoon, with a massive bouquet of red roses in his hand, and an even bigger smile on his lips. Your colleagues went into a frenzy, hurrying over to greet him and chat with him. Questions were thrown his way; ones like, 'What are you doing here?' or 'Is there anything we can do for you?' and 'Can we help you?' And then there are also comments like, 'I knew you looked familiar! You were the CEO's brother!' or 'You should have told us who you were!' and 'Man, I didn't overwork you, did I?'
Jaehyun was courteous and greeted everyone back, but after he was done with the pleasantries, he locked his eyes on you--his target. He waded through the crowd, his feet walking straight to where you were sitting quietly in your cubicle. You had hoped he would ignore you, or that no one would notice you. But that was impossible since you knew he was there for no other reason except to see you.
"Are those flowers for someone?" one of your colleagues asked and you mentally cursed him for asking because now, everyone's curious who the flowers were for.
"There you are," Jaehyun beamed, peering over the cubicle. You smiled sheepishly, taking a peek at your coworkers' shocked expressions.
"Can I help you, Mr. Jung?" you smiled back, hoping he'd take your cue and stop whatever he was trying to pull.
"No. I'm here to pick you up. We have dinner plans, remember?" he grinned, seemingly enjoying the way you're all flustered and shy. "You look great. Looks like we can go straight to the restaurant without changing."
"You're having dinner? Is it a company dinner?" Carl questioned, his hand raised in the air like an elementary student.
Tiffany was quick to slap his hand away. "Gosh, Carl, you're so clueless."
Jaehyun offered you the flower. "Shall we go then, my love?"
You've never heard a crowd gasp in unison before, but now you have. Cheeks burning in embarrassment, you took the bouquet and pushed yourself up. Jaehyun had a content smile on his lips when he offered to hold your hand, which you accepted.
"Jung Jaehyun, you really are a sly little bastard."
"You love me for it," he chimed.
And so, hand in hand, you and Jaehyun walked out of your office as a couple.
[fin]
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wingheadshellhead · 8 months
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i'm back on my "mcu steve was in the darkest timeline because he never experienced the canon event of tony stark giving him a home and a family" bullshit. post-ice steve was isolated, grieving, lonely, going through ptsd and survivor's guilt and he was constantly fixated on how he had no home or family or identity beyond cap. post-ice in the mcu, SHIELD stuck him in the costume and sent him back into the field, reinforcing the idea that he was nothing more than the empty shell of captain america.
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"All my life I've tried to find a place for Steve Rogers—but still he lives under the more colorful shadow of Captain America… Perhaps it's Steve Rogers who's the legend—and Captain America who is the reality! Perhaps I was born to be a red-white-and-blue Avenger—and nothing more! But there must be more to life than endless combat! Others have found a home—a family—why can't I? Or, is Steve Rogers destined to walk alone forever—until the final battle—until he walks no more?"
— Tales of Suspense Vol. 1 #75 (1959)
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"[...] But, even in the center of a crowd, I'm an outsider—a misfit! Only when I'm costumed as Captain America do I seem to come alive—to have a mission—a purpose! But, as Steve Rogers, I'm merely a name—a hollow shell—with no roots—no real life to call my own! Other men have friends—wives—loved ones!"
— Tales of Suspense Vol. 1 #92 (1959)
in the comics, the canon event of tony stark, the first person steve meets in the 21st century, giving him all of those things — a purpose, a home, somewhere to belong as himself and not just cap — changed his entire life.
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"The first week after I came out of the ice… It was a dark time. I'd lost everything. My best friend. All my friends. All I had. I didn't know what I could hang on to. And then Tony Stark came in with this little… handheld cinema. Future technology. He showed me a newsreel. Right there, I saw a man walk on the moon. For all mankind. And in that moment, I felt hope again."
— S.W.O.R.D. Vol. 2 #6 (2021)
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"Mr. Stark, when I woke up in this era, I had no one. Nothing. You gave me a purpose. Somewhere to belong… You gave me a home."
— Iron Man/Captain America: Casualties of War (2006) 
meeting tony and the avengers, creating those friendships and connections, living at the avengers mansion with them, gives steve hope that he can still find happiness and belonging in the present day.
i always found it ironic that in the mcu steve projects this ideal of happiness and domestic life onto tony. this scene in ca:cw is a perfect example of that disconnect between the reality and what steve assumed on the surface was tony achieving what he never could — having a partner, his own family and kids. (the fact that cacw tony is 4 seconds away from a heart attack at all times and too busy running around firefighting PR crises just further drives home the irony.)
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and then in a cruel twist of fate, mcu actually gives tony all of these things: home, family, wife and kid. we see steve witnessing tony having these things and knowing it's all possible, but just not for him and not in this era. (and ultimately, tony only gets to have these things for a brief period of time before having to give it all up.)
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mcu steve never got to have the experiences that have shaped every other universe's steve rogers. the presence of tony stark, his friendship, his home, his love (whether platonic or romatnic), that formed the foundation of steve's purpose within the avengers, is intrinsic to steve finding hope and happiness in the modern day. the mcu changing such a crucial canon event rewrote not only the core of mcu steve's story but the trajectory of the cinematic universe. and in the end, the writers sent steve back to the past because they believed after 6 movies and 7 years, he had nothing left to live for in the present and i honestly can't think of anything more tragic.
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sinimake · 3 months
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How to write smut scenes
Some personal tips i use for writers who want to set fires to the loins of their readers: (nsfw content)
For starters, define your end goal and drive of your smut.
Every writing must have a drive. Every character has an intention. No, I'm not talking about only the plot, and yes, even PWP needs it. Your scene can start in the midst of the action but must still contain the purpose.
Ask yourself why are the characters fucking? Does one character want to show their love to the other? Or are they seeking their own pleasure? Your characters' dynamic can be the drive. If you have kinky undertones, that can be your drive too.
What this does is that make the scene spicy, stake up the tension and give gratification to readers when the goal is reached.
Point of view
I said it before and i will say it again: No head hopping! Smut is a very intimate scene in which we dive deep into the character's feelings, emotions and entirely focused on their sensations.
You make readers feel the sensation of your first character then show outward reactions of your other character(s). So carefully choose whose pov you wanna write. If you need to change the pov, take a scene break, then switch.
How to absorb your readers into the action?
There's a simple technique called "being in your prime character's head" and this is how you do it.
Instead of writing this:
The air in the room was cold but the florescent light overhead was warm.
You write:
Goosebumps broke out on A's arms against the brisk air of the room while the warmth of the florescent light overhead heated his flushed skin furthermore.
An active tone example:
A shivered against the streep contrast of the cold night air and their flushed skin under the warm florescent light.
The beauty of pacing
If your foreplay is nicely detailed but the main course lasts for like two paragraphs, the satisfaction aint gonna be it, bestie. (Or you intentionally want it short, then oke you do you boo)
One of my favorite pacing techniques is carrying out the actions through dialogues. It keeps the characters dynamic and adds variables to the sentences while pushing the motion.
How to lengthen your smut scene:
The writing feels bland? Add sultry words.
Don't know many variations of sex movements? Use implications! You don't need to describe every thrust. Write about the noise, the rhythm, the bed moving, heart fastening, thighs quivering, breath getting haggard etc.
The scene feels too action oriented? Let your characters talk! Break it up with dialogues! Dirty talking is your condiment.
You don't wanna write long scene but want it to feel like it is long and properly paced? Change positions.
Don't know how to get in the mood? Watch porn (not only to enjoy it) and try to narrate what's happening in your head. It is a useful exercise, if you're comfortable.
Literally don't know what to add? Read smuts and take examples.
Well, that's it, folks! If you have any questions, feel free to hit up my ask, and i will walk you through it, bestie.
Happy writing!
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rwrbficrecs · 18 days
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We’ll Invite Something In by @smc-27 (book-verse)
@dot524: This is a fandom favorite and for good reason. In this canon divergence AU, Alex is President, Henry is out, and they never got together in their 20s. Instead, they encounter each other in their late 30s and a very different type of relationship ensues. They still hide it at first, but there’s a lot of living that they both have done and need to work through. I really enjoyed the character dynamics here and how the premise changed both Alex and Henry, making them bolder and more mature. Definitely read this one!
Eyes Blue, Like the Atlantic by bleedingballroomfloor (book-verse)
@dot524: A Titanic AU! Adapted by an excellent writer, this one has suspense, action, romance, and intrigue. There is a MCD (Main Character Death) in here and some other tags to be aware of, but also vibrant scenes with dancing, chasing, art, and formal wear. I really enjoyed it!
Clean Slate by @smc-27 (book-verse)
@heysweetheart-writes: This was just so excellent. I devoured it in no time, couldn't put it down. I love the way Alex just slips into Henry's life like a silk glove even though Henry has his hesitations. There's abslutely no angst at all other than "you're too young for me" "no, next question" I love it. I love Henry finally feeling young for the first time. I think that is something that Henry generally feels after meeting Alex, like he's never been able to, no matter at what point in life he is. ANYWAY I'm talking about Henry way too much again for a rec. Read this.
Most People Exist by @sprigsofviolets (book-verse)
@na-dineee: Henry, 30, is a nurse on a cancer ward. From the very first moment he feels an intense connection and attraction to his newest patient, the one who has a brain tumor and is named Alexander Claremont-Diaz. - The tags say it all: "Falling in love, Slow Burn, Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort". After reading this story I am a whole new person. I laughed and cried, had butterflies in my stomach, I felt it all. Hands down one of the best fics I've ever read!
after hours by @dumbpeachjuice (book-verse)
@na-dineee: How much can happen in a few hours? stutteringpeach: Hold my beer. 😅🤝 Reading this was truly a roller coaster ride, my stomach was doing somersaults non-stop: On his last evening in New York, poet Henry meets bartender Alex and the two spend the night together - in true "Before Sunrise" style. To sum it all up: enchanting, sweet, phenomenal, iconic!
No. 1 (Royal Red and Blue) Oil on Canvas by @captainjunglegym (book-verse)
@zwiazdziarka: This fic is so twisted and surprising in the best way! The summary did not prepare me for all the action that comes after the initial relationship drama and I'd really like to fawn over it some more but I don't want to spoil the fun of figuring out what really is going on and what are characters' motivations. Just give it a try.
Meet the Parents (series) by @14carrotghoul (book-verse)
@dot524: I really enjoyed these thoughtful character studies of Ellen and Oscar. The two short stories are a series of canon vignettes from Oscar and Ellen’s POV. These glimpses of the Claremont-Diaz parents add heart and depth to the RWRB canon, giving insight about how Ellen and Oscar think about parenthood, power, family, and each other.
Leave The World Better Than You Found It: A BONES AU by @treluna4 (book/movie-verse)
@myheartalivewrites: I really enjoyed this FirstPrince meets procedural TV show fic! With Alex as Booth and Henry as Brennan, they learn to work together, solve crimes--and fall in love, of course. Plus take down a very satisfying book villain.
No Laughing Matter by @inexplicablymine (book-verse)
@suseagull04: This fic is absolutely hysterical- a must read if you need something to cheer you up! It's also very relatable for anyone who, like me, has said things they've regretted in all the best ways!
in summer air by @acdsbff (book-verse)
@na-dineee: I need a vacation and vitamin D - maybe that's why this series (both POVs are covered 🥰) captivated me so much?! It is set on a Greek island, where Alex, just cheated on by his boyfriend, meets hotel owner Henry. What follows is a whirlwind speedrun romance against a beautiful backdrop. Really therapeutic for the heart on dreary days!!
here is a map (with your name as a capital) by @alasse9 (book-verse)
@dot524: What an incredible surprise to have this entire 50k story drop at once. In this canon divergent story, Alex and Henry start getting to know each other in Rio, when Alex helps him recover from a panic attack. Their friendship, and later their relationship, is a delightful slow burn with funny moments, heartbreak, and steady support of each other. I thoroughly enjoyed this start to finish — the characterization of both Alex and Henry is on point and I really enjoyed how the writer changed some of the scenes from the book while keeping key callbacks. A delight.
Claremont 2008 by @happiness-of-the-pursuit (book-verse)
@suseagull04: This friends to lovers AU is done so well! Having Henry and Alex meet as kids means we get years of their friendship before they even start dating, and it gives every aspect of their relationship so much depth through this entire fic. It also gives some events only referenced in the novel a completely different perspective, which makes them even better!
keep me in the moment (don't it feel so real?) by @anincompletelist (book-verse)
@heysweetheart-writes: I absolutely love everything that comes out of Sarah's magic little fingers and this was no exception. Alex and Henry are best friends and pinning over eache other unknowingly and an accidental lil discovery turns their relationship upside-down (for the better) absolutely recommended. I honestly loved it so much.
you know i can't be found with you by @dumbpeachjuice (book-verse)
@heysweetheart-writes: This was SO much fun. Alex was RELENTLESS and I absolutely love an older Henry. It was also very fucking funny. 10/10
the great duck fiasco by @alexclaremont-diaz (book-verse)
@suseagull04: A spy AU, dating apps, and Alex's Texas roots combine in the funniest way possible- definitely read this if you want a good laugh!
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lex-the-flex · 8 months
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First things first you are INCREDIBLE. Absolutely a powerhouse writer, genuinely. I have a request for Astarion x fem!reader if that’s okay? She’s basically never had sex before, and in this scenario Astarion’s already caught feelings so he’s trying to be as kind as possible to her. Just soft as hell Astarion
Thank you so much for requesting love!! I’m glad you enjoyed the fic!
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New Adventures
Alright so...
Astarion doesn't take shit from anyone in the early days of joining your group after you've successfully escaped the Nautiloid.
While he keeps his distance from the group, he often gives you the cold shoulder when you ask if he needs help with any labor-inducing task, starting a fire, or combat training. (Despite the rules of vampirism.)
His reactions would make you stay quiet for the rest of the day, making you doubt yourself, and how you approach your other friends afterwards.
Once Astartion saw what he'd done, he silently punished himself, furious with how he crushed the small amount of kindness you offered him.
But as time goes on, Astarion couldn't admit to himself that he cared for you. He truly and deeply desired for a companion that would one day show him all the wonders of the world. He saw that in you and he loved you for it.
And he fell hard for you.
So as the two of you eventually bonded and got closer, one night your crew created a bonfire and decided to get drunk off the three barrels of mead you stole from a cruel clan of goblins. Deep in your three pints, Astarion made his way over you, enjoying your sudden waves of giggles and laughter.
Sitting down next to you, he smiles at your reactions to your friends telling various stories, playing drinking games, etc. So when the infamous question was asked, you immediately snapped from your drunken state:
"Y/N, it's your turn! When did you lose your virginity?"
Stuttering to answer, you didn't want to be made fun of by your friends, so you just hugged your knees against your chest, and Astarion took the show.
"She's waiting for the right time. For when someone special comes along. For someone she can trust ...and love with her whole heart." Astarion explains, giving you a comforting touch to your shoulder.
Gazing at Astarion, the whole world fell silent as the Elf's words made butterflies rise in your stomach. Respecting your personal decision, your group eventually passed out. After sleeping for the entire day, you were the first one to wake up the next night, and the only thing that could quench your overdue hangover was the cool water of a nearby river.
Silently undressing in your private piece of the woods, you descended in the cold water, and a suppressed sigh left your lips only to be replaced by a gasp by the low laughter of none other than Astarion. Leaning against a tree trunk, he stood shirtless with his arms crossed.
"Astarion! Wh-- What are you doing here?" You ask, quick to cover your nude form beneath the water.
"It seems this is our shared sanctuary. And I must admit: it has brought a delectable specimen at my feet." He explains, walking into the shallow water before you.
Swimming around you, Astarion is careful not to intrude on your personal space, making sure to take things slow. Watching the man glide in the water, your breath is caught in your throat just as you take in Astarion's beauty gained through his vampire gifts.
"Why are you being so nice to me? Even if you are an immortal being who's afraid of the sun?" You jest, earning a laugh from Astarion.
Coming to a stop, Astarion guides you to stand before him, ignoring your exposed form.
"...I love you, Y/N. I've never met anyone like you in the two hundred years that I have walked this Earth. You are extraordinary and full of surprises. I won't overstep unless you allow it." Astarion confesses, motioning to the goosebumps rising to your skin.
"I'd like that, Astarion. I want this, and I want it with you." You reply, smiling into the first kiss the vampire gives you.
tagging ~
@dreamliners
@violetthecreator
@the-resident-vampire
@bitten-by-astarion
@loveandfictionforall
@tripleyeeet
@macabre-mangled
@demigoddessqueens
@sweatandwoe
@kittenkiryu
@shions-new-blog-of-stuff
@kurooreads
@squashfics
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em-dash-press · 1 year
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Connecting With Your Reader's Emotions
We’ve all read a book or story that captured our hearts and made us feel things very deeply. It’s a superpower writers have, but it isn’t something we’re born with.
Connecting with your reader’s emotion happens when you’ve practiced writing. It becomes easier after each rough draft, each great draft, and each terrible draft.
But—if you want to save yourself some time, these are a few perspectives you can use to sharpen your writing tools.
1. Display Your Protagonist’s Inner Emotions
Your readers want to experience a character’s journey by connecting with them emotionally. We pick up books to feel things while learning something or just taking a break from life.
Displaying your protagonist’s inner conflict could look something like: She saw the ghost in the hallway, which scared her.
Your reader will feel more engaged if you describe how fear makes your protagonist feel instead of them feeling fear generally: She saw the ghost in the hallway and fear shot through her body like lightning.
You don’t need tons of flowery language to make your reader feel the same things as your character. Sometimes a minor descriptor or simile can do the job.
2. Show Your Protagonist’s Feelings Through External Reactions
Emotions don’t solely exist inside our hearts and minds. We also have external reactions to them. That could be nodding in confusion, shifting uncomfortably in a chair, or bending over laughing.
Consider this example:
“I love your laugh,” Anita said to Alice. “It makes my heart skip a beat.”
Heat spread through Alice’s cheeks as she smiled.
“Oh, you don’t mean that.”
You don’t need to mention how it feels to receive a compliment from a crush or why flattery is nice to hear. The physical reaction of blushing is something the reader can relate to and understand.
3. Make Your Reader Feel Something Your Character Doesn’t
This is a fun one. Sometimes characters have to figure something out, but the reader already knows what’s going on.
This could happen when you’re writing a horror story that is supposed to teach the reader about the joy of recognizing your own strength. The protagonist has the skills in the beginning to defeat the evil antagonist, but must reach rock bottom before cheering himself on. The whole time, the reader knows they can beat the antagonist and survive because they have the brains/strength/creativity, etc.
You could also write an enemies-to-lovers arc where it’s obvious to the reader that both characters are in love with each other long before they realize it. The reader should want them to embrace the scary feeling of falling in love, because that’s what you’re trying to teach through your story.
Consider Your Story’s Purpose
Writers have a purpose behind every story. What do you want readers to learn, consider, or experience through your own? You can use these methods of connecting with your reader’s emotions to make your plot’s purpose that much more powerful and engaging.
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I saw the requests for fics were open I just need to ask if it's ok to put one in and if it's ok to have an x reader even if platonic bc honestly I'm in a mood lol and I am craving LER ALASTOR idk why and I love your fics and you are a great writer
Author's note: EVERYTHING I NEEDED WAS AN IDEA AND WHEN YOU POSTED THAT ONE PROMPT I WENT
I KNOW WHAT I GOT TO DO NOW.
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"Good night"
Summary: You were struggling to sleep that night, so in defeat, decided to just give up and stay up all night. Sadly for you, Alastor didn't exactly approved your idea.
Warnings: Swearing.
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Bags under your eyes would appear if you didn't go to sleep, and you knew it pretty well. It sucks, really sucks, but laying down on your bed doing nothing and being unable to finally take a good night of sleep sucks the double of those two combined.
As much as the TV wasn't that entertaining, it was enough to keep you awake and slightly less bored.
3AM, still nothing. You took a nap on the couch, but then woke up again. Did you actually took a nap? Or did you brain just turned off? Not sure, not bothered enough to care.
But, suddenly, something else finally got your eyes off of the screen.
"And what are you doing down here so late?"
The sudden voice made you stop on your tracks, jump even, as it came right after hours of silence.
"Jesus fucking Christ Alastor, I almost had a heart attack!" You took a deep breath, calming yourself down. "I'm just watching TV."
Alastor looks to the TV with the corner of his eyes, squeezing them slightly to show his displeasure. "Those things can be quite unhealthy at this time, my dear. Why don't you just turn this off and go to sleep?"
"Because I don't wanna and I can't sleep." You didn't even wanted to sound abrupt, but your filters slowly disappear when you grow more and more tired.
"Now that's just rude." Replied, not offended at all but rather keeping this in his mind for later. "Can't sleep, you say? Well, I have a solution for that." He added with a confident grin.
"...does it include hitting my head onto a wall to knock me out or something?"
Alastor stared at you with a blank face, blinking a few times. "Two solutions."
You rolled your eyes and finally sat, raising an eyebrow. "What solution?"
Alastor lets out a snicker, and with a single snap of his fingers, both of you are back on your room. You fell on your bed a bit too aggressively, but it's not like he cares.
"We only need to get rid of that energy of yours. I'm sure it'll be as easy as pie, you're already almost falling asleep."
"Uh... okay... and what's your plan, exactly?"
Your question made him look at you mischievously, which startled you and already made you let your guard up.
"Alastor-"
But before you could react, something pinched your side right behind you. As you looked, it was one of Alastor's little creatures. Is that a little man? A doll? A little demon? A pet? Whatever this thing is, made you flinch with a single touch.
And just like Alastor could spawn one of those, getting more of them needed the exact same effort.
"What are those??"
"Oh, I never really gave them names, so call them whatever you want. They're also harmless."
Three of them surrounded you, poking your upperbody in different spots while giggling.
"H-Hey! Gehehet off!" They may be weird but also looked weirdly adorable, what made you hesitated on pushing them away. "Thehehey're tick-"
But you stopped yourself right away. It got the other demon's attention, since your fit of giggles was definitely not the cause of the sudden hold up.
"Did you just interrupted yourself?" He asked teasingly, leaning towards you with a more bratty smile.
"Whahahat?! Nohohoho!"
Alastor shrugged, throwing his staff lightly from one hand to another. "If that's the case, I must have misunderstood. After all, there's no reason for you to not say 'tickle'." His head turned back to you, curiously. "Correct?"
As they keep tickling you, you ended up falling on the bed, rolling back and fourth as a poor attempt to escape. "ShuhUHUHUT UP!"
The deer chuckled at your reaction to it. "Oh, I'm not the one who should! Your volume may wake up someone in the hotel."
"Thehehen STOHOP!"
Your words entered his ear and leaved the other, or even worse, didn't even entered in any at the first place, as everything he did was look at his nails.
"I can't, I already promised to help. It is getting you tired after all-"
"FUHUHUHUCK!!"
Your tone suddenly increased in a... huge volume. More than he expected, what startled the guy. Wanting or not, if anyone wakes up he'll end up getting in trouble aswell, so he's thinking twice about his plans.
However, something is off for him. Once you lay down, you didn't got up again nor tried to. It definitely isn't bothering you as much as it looks like, and this fact did not make it worse for himself. More likely to be the opposite, as an encouragement.
The inner conflict was agonizing to keep, and Alastor's eyes show that. With a sigh mixed with a humming, he snaps his fingers, finally sparing you from the shadows.
Your laughter slowly died down, and without realizing, your face shifts to one of disappointment.
"Hah... heh... what..?"
The taller one sits by your side, avoiding visual contact but, for some reason, not the physical one.
Before you could react, Alastor quickly recomposed himself, looking at you with a cheeky grin once again while his own hand touches your stomach.
"It is unfair for me to get punished because of your sensitivity, so I'll try something lighter this time."
The demon's fingers began to scratch, but not hurt, tickling you in a slow yet surprisingly effective way. You grabbed his wrist, but didn't have the courage to take it off as you knew it would come to an end if you did.
Your chuckles, snorts, cackles, any noises you would make, would spread the room as long as he wanted, and the silence would only return once you're finally asleep.
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allwaswell16 · 3 months
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A fic rec of One Direction fics that show a healthy relationship dynamic as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave the writers kudos and comments! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!
- Louis / Harry -
☁️ Of Mates and Men by @bananaheathen
(E, 630k, wedding) In which, Louis and Harry meet as best men for their best friends' wedding... well... sort of. Or, the one where Harry's just moved back from New York and Louis doesn't believe in romance. Or, I guess... the one where Zayn and Liam are getting married.
☁️ Relief Next To Me by dolce_piccante / @haydolce
(E, 333k, fwb) AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.
☁️ Have Love, Will Travel by @kingsofeverything
(E, 97k, road trip) Rather than spend the summer working at their desks, Louis and Harry are given the opportunity to crisscross the country together in a tiny camper, filming their adventures for a YouTube series.
☁️ No Control Club (series) by @sadaveniren
(E, 96k, bdsm) Harry, a popular BDSM blogger, writes a negative review about Louis’ club. Louis wants to have a chance to make it up to him.
☁️ My Kind of Rain by @lululawrence
(NR, 30k, musicians) the Tim McGraw/Faith Hill AU where Louis is Tim, Harry is Faith, and just when Louis thinks he is going to get some rest, his entire world turns upside down thanks to the man with curly hair and the voice that seems to sing right to Louis' heart.
☁️ The Sunshine Stays by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird
(E, 15k, canon) They're enjoying a much more relaxed schedule the second time around, allowing themselves to bask in married life. Until, one day, Louis surprises Harry on vacation, and there are some surprising consequences.
☁️ Let Me Be Your Everlasting Light by Layne Faire / @laynefaire
(M, 11k, Northern Lights) Harry arranges a trip to Norway as a gift for Louis, but little does Louis know Harry is also hoping to make his own dream come true, too.
☁️ I Can't Hear You by kikikryslee / @flamboyantommo
(E, 9k, omegaverse) the one where Harry is self-conscious about his body because it's not the 'typical omega body' and Louis shows him why he loves that.
☁️ There's a Ring in the House by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf
(M, 3k, proposal) Louis knows Harry is going to propose. He's terribly impatient about it.
☁️ Changing Weather (For Worse or For Better) by @haztobegood
(M, 3k, established relationship) Five times it's raining and one time it stops.
☁️ I Choose You by @disgruntledkittenface
(NR, 3k, established relationship) Louis is exhausted during a busy time at work. After a long commute home, the last thing he expects is for Harry to have a surprise for him.
☁️ Gonna Dress You Up In My Love by @fallinglikethis
(T, 3k, humor) Harry decides to take up knitting. He's horrible at it. Louis wears everything anyway.
☁️ The Future's in Our Hands by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup
(G, 2k, humor) Louis loves a good idea, a good invention. He's always ready to try out the next project. His husband would maybe just like him to wait until morning.
☁️ The Nearness of You by theweightofmywords / @lil0
(M, 2k, mpreg) Harry and Louis' baby is due any moment. Harry just wants pretty toenails, and Louis just wants to help.
☁️ If Wishes Were Dishes by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup
(T, 2k, living together) Why is Harry doing his dishes? He must be mad at Louis. He must be absolutely livid at the way Louis is living his life as a slob.
☁️ Sugary Sweet by @neondiamond
(G, 1k, kid fic) Harry and Louis’ daughter knows exactly how to get what she wants, Harry is pregnant, and Louis is the best husband ever.
- Rare Pairs -
☁️ a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface
(NR, 10k, Niall/Harry) Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact. Oh.
☁️ two languages, one love by @nouies
(NR, 3k, Louis/Cillian Murphy) The three times Louis speaks to Cillian in Spanish, and the one time he finally gets a response.
☁️ Fine Line by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13
(G, 1k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Telling his family was always going to be a big deal, but doing it alone was a sacrifice he could make. He never thought they’d fall about laughing.
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bonefall · 4 months
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did you already start planning squirrelstar's leader ceremony and if so who's giving her the 9 lives?
I'm still a bit concerned that the writers will pull something with her 9 lives, but I've got so many good choices for BB!Squilf that it's not an issue to start considering who's gonna turn up for her.
Plus, honestly, NOT totally interested in abiding by canon if they commit the dumbshit we're suspecting they might. Pre-emptively biting and killing it.
Here's the list of candidates so far. Everyone with a * is a definite yes;
Goldenflower Her mentor in BB, replacing Dustpelt! After everything Squilf has gone through with Bramblestar, and after Golfy took her son's side after the big reveal, it feels good for her to show up with a life for Judgement. To decide when to listen to her heart, but also, when to realize when it is leading her astray.
Sandstorm Mother choice is a solid one, though I'm leaning towards giving this life to Ferncloud for variety. Squilf's got 5 immediate relatives here to give her a life.
Hollylark* Her grandkit, and Sparkpelt's mate who sacrificed xeir life to take her illness away. Xey'd give her a life for Interdependence, for all of the connections that bind a Clan together. Love, friendship, convenience, family. Squilf is familiar with sacrifice in service of it... but it's more than that. To love is to BE loved-- she must accept reciprocity. And... xey'd make some kind of loaded comment about Nightheart, knowing that neither one of them want to talk badly about him. I might end up changing xeir life to something like "letting go," as foreshadowing for how I'm absolutely planning for Nightheart to NOT return to ThunderClan after his road trip with Frostpaw. BUT I don't decide arcs until they're done so we'll have to seeeeee
Firestar* Basically required. Squirrelstar is his daughter, the successor of his ideology, and the follow-up to a leader that Firestar considers a mistake. His chats at these sorts of ceremonies often get wistful, so I feel like they'd talk about second chances, wanting people to be better than they are, how to fix things that are broken and when they aren't worth the effort. He says it explicitly, "You're just like me. A spark of my flames, burning bright, long after I've become starlight..." His life would be for Progress. To continue to evolve and grow, to never be so stuck in the past that she can't see the future, to know when things can be fixed and when they must be broken.
Rosepetal I want to save her on one hand, but on the other, having her go out in a blaze of glory at some point in ASC or TBC is a good reason why Squilf didn't make her deputy. Rose was her first apprentice and has always been a dedicated, passionate warrior who would deeply want that spot. If she's here for the 9 lives ceremony, she'd give Squilf a life for Ferocity. "Give them twice the Hell you always do, so that it's like I'm right there next to you."
Shrewface* (Shrewpaw in life.) Her guardian angel. He helped her hide the secret of Leafpool's pregnancy, and has always stood over her, providing help secretly. Now he can finally stand before her and give her a life. He would actually stumble and chuckle, because he's wanted to do it for so long he's blanking on the life he wants to give her. On one paw, Squilf is a little annoyed. It's a super serious leader ceremony, holy moment in her life, but on the other... Shrewface is so HAPPY! His joy is infectious. He's standing before her as the adult he would have been, but under that, she sees the funny teenage best friend that she lost so long ago. It feels almost like being a kid again. So she picks her own life by saying, "How about one for Joy?" And he says, "Hey that's a great idea!"
Rainwhisker A ThunderClan cat who died in the WindClan Civil War, and someone she remembers fondly. The life he gives is a life for Collateral. He has no shame in how he died, and he believes Firestar's call was the right one. But he needs to remind Squirrelflight that beliefs are backed with blood. Every time she brings her Clan into war, there is a chance that someone will die because of her choice. He restates that he believes his death was noble; but his life will remind her of the cost that someone else might pay.
Sootfur If it's not Rainwhisker, I'd like his brother Soot to be here. I think his death was haunting, with how Squilf couldn't save him, watching him tumble down a rockface because of his broken leg and being brutally murdered by what-is-now a boar. She's carried guilt from how she couldn't save him her whole life, so in contrast to Rainwhisker, his life is for Acceptance. To remember that not everything is her fault, and she could NEVER be so perfect as to avoid all of life's misfortunes. Even if others pin blame onto her for something she couldn't control; no leader is powerful enough to save everyone. Thinking about it though, I might really try to slot BOTH of these guys in. I think the contrast of the two back to back is powerful; that actions have consequences, but not every tragedy is a consequence.
Ferncloud She just died very recently, taking both Graystripe's super edition AND his sacrifice in the Dark Forest. Graystripe is still alive, living at the tribe with his son Stormfur. She confronted Ashfur for Squilf, so it feels right that she also comes to support her here. Ferncloud, for the first time in so many years, looks at peace. She isn't gray and grizzled anymore, but sleek and vibrant. Her family surrounds her, Dustpelt, Elderberry, Brindleface, her many lost kits. So, the life that she gives Squilf is for Faith. In StarClan that she will always have Clanmates in the skies to watch out for her, in her Clan that there will always be future angels fighting by her side.
Longtail Her uncle, and Jayfeather's mentor who trained him into the full angel-punching cat he became. During the big trial she has in Squirrelflight's Horror, Longtail was one of her loudest supporters, and eventually nudged her backwards so her son could grab her ankle and drag her back down to the mortal plane. He's always been her wonderful uncle, so, he might end up taking that life for Faith from Ferncloud. Just depending.
Feathertail* I want her to show up in the ceremonies of every patrol cat who achieves power, as a given. If we get Crowstar, I also want her to be there. I just think it's nice that if Crow, Bramble, and Squilf ever did end up able to chat about this together, in spite of the TANGIBLE awkwardness of the three of them being in the same room, they'd be able to make a joke about Feathertail Gives You A Life and it would land a little TOO hard, be a little TOO funny, because they were hoping that SOMETHING would lighten the air and it did. But anyway, this incredibly specific desire aside, Feathertail Gives You A doobie life for Tranquility. That the once-impulsive Squirrelstar will be able to slow down and consider every action, to take a deep breath in stressful times and think about what she's about to do. That as leader she will be under immense pressure, yeah, but also immense power. She can always afford to take a moment before making a big decision.
Leafpool* MANDATORY. There's NO reality where I do not end off this ceremony with Leafpool. When she steps up, they can't look at each other without crying. It overwhelms them, to the point where Squilf can't even choke out her sister's name. Leafpool, meanwhile, has gotten used to controlling her body while her heart breaks into billions of little pieces. She'd done it for her whole life, and now, she does it again in death. "this life is for love," she touches her night-cold nose to Squirrelstar's, and the new leader's vision begins to fade into black, "you know why." From the darkness, memories burst forth. Of them as kits, their silly games and dreams, how they planned to one day be the cleric and leader of ThunderClan together. The terrible loneliness of being separated while Squirrelpaw was on the Sundrown Patrol. The ache in Leafpool's heart whenever she saw her sister mistreated; how she gave up on relationships with Crowfeather and, to some extent, with Mothwing as well so she could serve her Clan and stay with her family. The three kits, the anxiety as Squirrelflight took them, the way it felt like Leafpool was being flayed to give them up. Parenting, loyalty, betrayal as Hollyleaf snapped and revealed the secret Squirrelflight desperately didn't want to keep, the guilt that Leafpool felt watching her suffer for helping her. The way they always felt like, on some level, it was them against the world.
And then she wakes up, back on the shore of the Moonpool, with her Clerics beside her. Leafpool is gone. StarClan is, once again, very far away, and she's left with nothing but the cold feeling on her nose and the looming specter of war ahead of her.
12 candidates in total, but only 9 can take the spot. So I'll trim it down once we get there!
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megamindsecretlair · 4 months
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Break My Heart
Pairing: Javier Pena x Black!Fem!reader
Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. You are in charge of your own reading experience. There is smut! PWP, PIV, size kink, kinda toxic, spanking, pet names. Non-inclusive language. Somes sentences are intentional AAVE. Apologies if I missed some.
Summary: You intended to spend New Year's Eve alone, per usual. But Javi's pestering convinced you to have a few drinks with the team. You want to remain strong and resist him but you aren't sure for how long.
Word Count: 3,421k
A/N: Ahhh, my first Pedro fic. This was intimidating! Even after watching more of the show. Be gentle, I'm sensitive 'bout it LOL. This was still fun and so hot and lordt, I need him so badly. Likes are always awesome. Please considering commenting and reblogging to help support writers!
Taglist: @nerdieforpedro @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @browngirldominion @thecookiebratz
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“You’re coming to the bar with us, right?” 
You looked up from your desk to see Javi hovering over you, entirely too close. He knows you hate that. He’s always crowding into your space. Leaning too close, leaning that sinful ass on your desk, or bending down to turn those puppy brown eyes on you. 
He smelled like cigarettes and sweat. A combination that shouldn’t be so hot, but here you were. 
“No,” you said with a smile. 
“Come on, you’re hurting my feelings,” he said. He had a sleepy way of talking that immediately turned your thoughts dirty. Thinking of what he must sound like first thing in the morning. But that line of thinking was dangerous. You just hadn’t had a good fucking in a while. 
“Aww, you don’t have any feelings, Javi,” you said. You gave him an extra sugary smile and he huffed a laugh and looked around the office. He leaned his ass against your desk and you sighed loudly for his benefit. 
The office was noisy, filled with agents running around chasing down leads. With your complexion, you were relegated to the office. You were an agent in name only and it pissed you off. The higher ups thought that they could stick you in the ass end of South America and you’d quit.
Joke was on them. You loved the food here and there wasn’t a person alive that could get you to quit being an agent. 
“Maybe I’d have some feelings if you finally agreed to go out with me,” Javi said. 
You wrinkled your nose. You’d happily climb on Peña if he wasn’t such a slut. Not that you were in the market for commitment. The last thing you needed was to get caught up with someone, especially at work, when you were still trying to prove yourself to the agency. 
“I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole, Javi,” you said.
Javier only licked his lips and smiled. His fingers played with a cigarette but all of his attention was on you. “So, what, I need to find an eleven foot pole?” 
You rolled your eyes and fought off your smirk. You didn’t need to encourage him. “What favor do you want this time, Javi?” You asked. 
“I want you to finally say yes! We’ve been working together for years and you won’t even give me the time of day,” he said. 
“Why would I do that?” You asked. Fuck it, the numbers were starting to swim in your head anyway. If Javi was good for anything, it was a distraction. You sat back in your seat and prepared yourself for the Javi show. 
He smirked and turned those puppy eyes up to a thousand. “You know we’d be good together,” he said. His voice even got deeper. 
You weren’t entirely immune to Javier Peña. There were more than a few times that you caught yourself staring at his ass. Or that damn black shirt that clung to him in all the right places. Your favorite time was when he got back to the office from chasing a lead all day. The way he got so flustered and sweaty. The way his hair would plaster to his head and he’d settle into the office with a deep sigh and a soft curse. 
You looked away from him so he wouldn’t see the downright lust in your eyes. No, you were not immune to Javier Peña but everyone knew his vices. You were not trying to be another notch on his belt. 
Your eyes roamed to the desk in front of you. In their infinite wisdom, the higher ups also put you in front of Javi and Murphy’s office. They thought it was real hilarious to wave the lonely Black woman in front of Javi the slut. They were itchin’ to ditch you. That also meant that no one else sat around here. The empty desk in front of you was a dumping ground for random files, donuts, or supplies.
There were times when people left random food there for anyone to snack on. Like now, there was a jar of pickles on the desk abandoned and swimming in pickle juice. You smirked and looked at Javi. 
“Javi, there is no way on the green earth that I would entertain this,” you said.
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” He asked. 
“Because you’re a pickle,” you said and smirked. 
He laughed and shook his head. “What?” 
“A pickle! You’re like…community pickle,” you said. You waved your hand for him to catch your drift. He just stared at you, patient, focused. It was unnerving to be on the other side of that look. 
Your throat dried and you had the sudden urge to disappear. To leave that sight line. But you forged on. Maybe he’d get insulted and move on. “See that jar? You’re like those pickles. You’re on every burger, every sandwich, readily available,” you said.
Javier tilted his head. “Are you calling me a slut?” 
“Your word, not mine,” you said.
“I didn’t take you for someone who listens to rumors,” Javi said. 
You laughed. “Rumors? Javi, you scream it loud and clear for anyone to hear,” you said. 
Javi waved your comment off. He looked around the office and then slid closer. You leaned back, scooting your chair back. He wore a denim shirt, open at the collar, and his tanned skin showed through. You brought your eyes back to his, though that wasn’t any better. He was a danger to your sanity.
“Come on. Have a drink with me,” he said. 
You sighed and rubbed your head. “We already tried this, Javi,” you said. 
“When?” He asked, sounding offended. 
“Hmm, ‘bout six months after I got here. You asked me out, I said not on your life. We did that surveillance job together and you wore me down. Said let’s meet up and we never did,” you said.
Javi held his hand to his heart. “You’re killing me, princesa. I wouldn’t do that to you,” he said. 
A shiver ran through you and you hated it. You had to be strong around this man, though you really, really didn’t want to. “I’m not mad, Javi, it’s just in your nature.” You stood up and placed your hand on his shoulder. It was a huge mistake, but you pretended to be nonchalant. You tapped his shoulder and walked around him. 
You went to the wall of file cabinets and dug through for the next set of numbers you needed anyway. Javi followed you, getting even closer. He leaned against a cabinet and smiled. 
“I think you’re just scared,” he said.
“Scared of what?” You asked.
“Getting close to us. To me,” he said. His eyes dropped to your mouth. You almost couldn’t believe his audacity. 
You couldn’t help licking your lips and his eyes flicked up to yours. “If I go…”
“Yes!” 
“If I go, you’re buying all of my drinks and you’re keeping your hands to yourself. Got it?” You asked. 
“Scout’s honor,” he said.
“You’ve never been a fuckin’ Boy Scout,” you said.
Javi shrugged and smirked. “You never asked,” he said. He walked backwards, looking at you with that satisfied, smug smile on his face. “See you tonight!” 
Why not, it was New Year’s after all. 
Later that night, you were nervously walking up to the bar. It was a bar friendly enough to Americans. The air was balmy but comfortable and you opted for a short purple dress and short heels. Your purse swung on your shoulder and you mentally prepared yourself to see Javi off the clock.
You knew that other people would be there and you weren’t expecting any funny business, but it was still nerve wracking. You made a career of being ice cold because that was all anyone expected of you. The minute you laughed or - goodness forbid - showed a personality, the guys suddenly remembered that you were a woman. 
You walked inside to a raucous mix of Spanish and English. The words hit you even over the loud music, drinks clinking, and general rowdiness of the bar. You found your group easy enough. They took up an entire corner of the bar. Murphy saw you first. The huge white boy stuck out even more than you did but he seemed to make it work, despite not knowing a lick of Spanish.
He waved you over and you approached the table. Some of the other guys looked you over. Look it over, boys. You inwardly smiled. You knew that you had a great figure that you hid under ugly and boring business suits. It was rare that you got to go out in something pretty for once, so you might have spruced things up more than usual. 
Javi turned to see you, his eyes roaming over your outfit, and you felt the tips of your ears burn. You sat down, immediately swiping Javi’s beer and taking a sip. He let you, still not having said a word.
“Find this place okay?” Murphy asked.
You nodded. “Surprised to see you out too!” You had to yell over the noise but he heard you. 
“Only to show my face. Gonna head home and celebrate with the missus,” he said.
You nodded. You turned your attention to Javi who still hadn’t said anything. “Mad I stole your drink, Javi?” 
Like waking from a stupor, Javi shook his head. “Who knew there was a girl under there,” he said.
You shoved him and rolled your eyes but laughed along with the table. “I’m surprised you can recognize one with her clothes on,” you said.
The guys at the table erupted into laughter. Javi’s personal activities were a well-known fact by this point. Javi waved everyone off.
“Since we’re laughing, we might as well laugh about the prank on poor Murphy,” Javi said.
Your eyes rounded as Javi betrayed you to Murphy. Murphy’s jaw dropped as he looked at you. “That was you?”
“That was all Javi’s idea!” 
“You stand there and accuse me, but where were you at the time?” Oh, he sounded so innocent and wounded.
You tried to kick him under the table but he moved his leg at the last moment. “I was…” You tried to think of a good excuse for your whereabouts as you hid Murphy’s things while Javi kept him distracted. It was an innocent prank, but it had Murphy in a panic.
Everyone snickered and laughed while Murphy hunted and stalked around the office. It was a team effort and you tried to convey that without words while you looked at Javi.
“Wow, real nice,” Murphy said with a smile.
At least he was a sport about it. You glared at Javi but he only smirked. Ass. But it was the icebreaker you needed. The other guys warmed up to you and began to tell you wild stories about their hunt for the elusive Pablo Escobar. It seemed like no matter what they tried, Pablo already bought his way several steps ahead. 
You listened as they told you the sanitized version of some of the skirmishes they got into. How they found people connected to Pablo but each one was too scared to speak. How they were trying to work with the local police but Pablo had more than half of them on the payroll. 
It made you sick that someone could just pay their way to the top like that. It wasn’t lost on any of you that one wrong move and it was your ass. 
True to his word, Javi kept his hands to himself for the most part. He bought you drink after drink, until you finally had to stop and drink some water before you ended up stumbling home. No thank you. You did not need the hangover in the morning, celebrating the new year or not. 
Javi did other things. He shifted in his seat and always managed to brush against your bare leg. He would turn his whole body towards you when you were speaking and then turn completely around when you weren’t. He was driving you nuts and you wanted to smack him.
“What is your deal?” You whispered to him while the other guys were preoccupied with Murphy leaving. 
“You!” He said.
“Me?!” You smacked his arm. He rubbed his legs and took a deep swig of his beer. 
“Wearing that!” He hissed.
“What are you talking about?” Murphy was making his way around the table, saying goodbye individually. Any minute, he would make it to your side. 
“I just want to…rip that damn dress off. You tell me to keep my hands to myself and you come in wearing that,” he said. 
You reared back as if he’d slapped you. Javi had dabbled in harmless flirting since you met him. It was just how he interacted with women. Truly, you didn’t hold it against him. But the way he was acting right now…it was a mistake coming here.
Because of the drinks you had, the atmosphere, the celebratory mood…you suddenly couldn’t remember why you were fighting this man so hard. 
“It’s just a dress, Javi,” you breathed. Your heartbeat sped up in your chest, thumping in your chest painfully. Your hands shook and you rubbed the tips of your fingers together. 
“Like hell…” Javi started. Murphy made his way to the end of the table, shaking Javi’s hand and giving you a hug. 
“See you in the office.”
You smiled at Murphy but you had no way of remembering what you said. Your eyes were on Javi. His eyes were on you. 
“I’ll be back, bathroom,” you said. You scooped up your purse from the table and disappeared down the short hallway towards the bathrooms. The dim lights were actually a blessing.
You didn’t want to think about how you looked at the moment. You didn’t want to see if you looked as needy as you felt. You didn’t want your dirty thoughts projected all over your face for anyone to pick up on. 
You were careful. You were smart. You avoided Peña like the plague and you didn’t need to be here right now. 
A knocking on the door tore you from your spirling thoughts. “A second!” 
The knocking continued obnoxiously and you finally had to approach the door and open it a crack. “I said–” 
Javi pushed into the room, closing and locking the door behind him. “Javi!” 
Javi slammed his lips against yours, groaning once you made contact. You melted instantly, wrapping your hands around his shoulders and molding your body against his. He groaned low in his throat and pulled up your dress. His fingers dragged along your thighs and you sighed.
You were chasing relief. Your skin was feverish. The wet heat of the night did not mix well with the cheap beer you consumed. You felt like you were crawling out of your skin with a red hot need. Need for Javier fucking Peña of all people. 
“Tell me to stop, princesa,” he groaned against your lips.
“Don’t you fuckin’ dare,” you moaned. His thick fingers were working magic on you, dagging along your skin and igniting a fire in your veins. His fingers found your panties and he yanked them down, nearly snapping the flimsy fabric. You kicked them off to the side, not caring where they ended up.  
Your hands worked furiously to unbuckle his belt, unbutton his jeans, and slide that zipper down. Your hands reached in eagerly, palming him, and he groaned. His lips descended on your neck, biting and licking away the gathering sweat.
You shoved his pants down low enough to free that dangerous dick you heard so much about. He was long and thick, easily backing up his claims. You see why he had so much sex. He was practically built for it. Sculpted for it. He was forged by the gods to hand deliver pleasure.
His hands squeezed your hips, slipping down to your ass to grab and pinch and yank closer to his body. He lifted your leg  and placed it over his hip. He rubbed the tip of his dick through your slick folds. He moaned and bit your neck.
“Fuck, princesa. Have you been sitting there wet for me?” His voice was so deep and dark and filthy in this dim bathroom. 
“Whole time,” you said, licking his lips and pulling him by the hair for another kiss. For a taste of those lips soaked in beer and cigarettes and something uniquely spicy and all Javi.
He groaned and finally shoved in roughly. Your head fell back against the wall as you cried out. He was so big and it had been so long and fuck, he felt so good. Why did you deny yourself this? Why would you do that? 
You panted in his ear as he slid out and then shoved back in. He was fucking you. There was nothing sweet about how hard he gripped your thighs, how roughly he fucked into you, or how loudly he groaned against your chest. He licked the top of your breasts, the part exposed from the cleavage of your dress. 
Javi sped up as if he couldn’t help himself. As if he needed to keep going, needed to stake his claim. He lifted your leg higher, spreading you wider, as he continued to pound into your pussy. 
“Oh fuck, Javi,” you moaned.
“Say it again, princesa. Again,” he moaned. 
“Javi, Javi,” you moaned as he pounded into you so fiercely, you were seeing stars as you came. Flooding his dick with your arousal. Filling up the tiny room with shrieks and screams. It was drowned out by the ruckus of the bar. Noise exploded as you assumed it finally turned midnight. 
This was a hell of a way to ring in the new year. 
“Love feelin’ this pussy, princesa,” Javi moaned. He slipped out and you cried out, needing him back inside. He kissed your cheek and smirked. “I wanna see that ass.” 
He flipped you over. He shoved you against the low sink to your right. Your hands gripped the porcelain as he thrust back inside. You bit your lip and moaned lewdly. You didn’t give a fuck who heard. 
Javi smacked your ass once, twice, three times as he continued to rut inside of you. You looked up at the dirty mirror and looked at his gorgeous, focused face as he pounded you into oblivion. 
“Fuck, fuck, right there, Javi,” you moaned. You brought your hand back to dig into his hair. You gripped his fine brown hair and pulled. Javi groaned and licked the shell of your ear, nibbling on it while his hips slapped into yours. 
“Javi, I’m–”
“Shh, shh, let me feel it,” he whispered in your ear. You finally exploded once more, cumming with a sharp vengeance that robbed you of all breath. Javi thrusted two more times before joining you, moaning as he unloaded inside of you. 
His cum stuffed you and he thrusted at least once more time with a groan. He dropped against you, kissing the back of your neck and shoulder. Your legs were noodles. Your thighs shook as you calmed down from such a rough fucking.
Screwing Javi was absolutely everything you imagined and it sucked. It was like tasting paradise knowing you’ll never return. It was cruel and you hung your head thinking about what everyone was going to say.
Something like this? Office fodder. And once they got a hold of it, they were not going to let you live it down. They would give him hi-fives and they would judge the hell out of you. Although with his dick still inside you, you couldn’t bring yourself to care too much.
Javi softened and slipped out of you. You cleaned yourselves up in silence. It was like that wild, crazy and burning need was finally sated. You could think straight for once, see more clearly and breathe easier. 
Javi zipped himself back up and you retrieved your panties, stuffing them into your purse. Javi sidled up to you, pulling your hips until you were too close. 
“You don’t have to do this, Javi,” you said. 
Javi nuzzled your neck and placed a soft kiss there. “Maybe I want to do it,” he said.
“You know this was the first and only time, right?” There was enough light to see him smirk. 
“We just gettin’ started, princesa,” he said with a wink.
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The Secret Javier Pena Files - not sure if there will be more, but never say never.
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wen-kexing-apologist · 4 months
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Random BL Superlatives: 2023
Well @lurkingshan did it, so I must do it. So here are some random, WKA themed superlatives for the 2023 BL selection.
Best Hands: Mhok and Day, Last Twilight
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gif by @singularities
Listen. I know. I KNOW. There are so many incredible options, and I have written at length about a number of them. I mean come on, La Pluie is right there, I Feel You Linger in the Air is right there, Sing My Crush, Moonlight Chicken etc. etc. etc. But
But, Last Twilight came in with the steel chair right at the end of the year here with that FUCKING HANDSING SCENE. Can you blame me? The handsing scene is shrimply too powerful.
Best Lighting: Playboyy
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You know, it's funny cause I don't usually end up writing about lighting in shows, despite the fact that lighting design is absolutely one of my favorite things in film, stage, and television. Chains of Heart has really interesting lighting too, but Playboyy is an objectively better show, and it is doing some absolutely gorgeous lighting design.
Best Sex Scene: Olive Oil, I Feel You Linger in the Air
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gif by @pharawee
THE OLIVE OIL SCENE, WHY ARE THERE NO GIFSETS OF THE OLIVE OIL SCENE? WHY IS TUMBLR SUCH A FUCKING HATER???? They didn't even fuck in that scene, but holy mother of GOD it was the best thing I've seen all year. I Feel You Linger in the Air has some of the most inventive and beautiful intimate moments, and spreading the olive oil as a stand in for arousal and masturbation was absolutely goddamn brilliant.
Best Faen (Non)Fatale: Porjai, Last Twilight
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gif from @khaopybara
I know Last Twilight hasn't finished yet and will take us in to 2024, but Porjai and Mohk's relationship is absolutely my favorite lovers to friends dynamic I have seen this year. I was showering praise upon them all for this in the tags of a reblog today, so I have to give it to them. Massive shout out and extremely close call to Nara from La Pluie.
Best Emotional Roller Coaster: What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2
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Ok there were quite a lot of shows that I think would have applied here, but man oh man this entire season has just run me through the wringer with how much Shiro has grown over the course of the last two seasons. Episode 11 had me laughing my ass off, and then absolutely sobbing by the end. So it's going to Kinou Nani Tabeta?
The Shirt I Want to Steal Most from Wardrobe: Blue and White Button Up, The Sign
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gif from @ohshinytrinketsmine
I know this will be contentious when the Fart Proudly shirt is right there, but I really loved the blue and white button up shirt that Phaya wore I do not know what is in the water at IdolFactory, but they have hands down some of the best shirts I have ever seen. When I watched Secret Crush on You I wanted the entirety of Sky's wardrobe, now I am having shirt envy for this sexy little blue-with-white-lines-that-are-vaguely-rabbit-shaped (wka do not write a post about rabbits, do not write a post about rabbits-) button up.
The Character Who Most Changed my Opinion of Them: Phupa, OS2 x BBS x ATOTS
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gif by @alexshenry (double PhupaPat whammy for @waitmyturtles)
Okay, so to tell you the truth, I made new superlatives cause if I took the superlatives from @lurkingshan's post it would have been at least half the same if not more (because as always, Shan is right about everything). But, I will put an overlap here because I absolutely could not let this year go by without applauding Aof, Earth, and Phupa for really putting in the work to help me understand this man better.
The Show That Most Surprised Me: Wedding Plan by MAME
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gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul
Okay not only was this show that I absolutely was not planning to watch or initially interested in actually one of the best of the year, but it was also a MAME show. And a lot of us have our critiques of MAME's writing, but this was so outside of her typical MO that I am shocked it came from the same writer. Love Sailom, love a Lavender Wedding, love Nuea, love it all.
The Trope This Year That Most Accounted for the Fact These Are Gay MEN: Boxing! Sing My Crush, Wedding Plan, The Sign
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Sing My Crush did this the absolute best, but I really genuinely loved that multiple shows this year let men fight in controlled settings to get out some of their frustration and to process their feelings. Han Ba Ram crying in the gym? One of my favorite scenes of the entire year.
And yeah sure, Phaya and Tharn are fighting for the intricate rituals that allow men to touch the skin of men, we get the horny vibes, but fundamentally this fight does occur because Tharn is angsty and ignoring Phaya and that cannot stand. I like seeing Phaya sparring with the punching bag at the end of the most recent episode as well because he's fucking furious about Tharn telling the doctor about his dreams. I love it, I love it so much.
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