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fans4wga · 10 months

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'Why creatives are seeking residuals' - thread by Stefanie Williams

[Tweet thread by Stefanie Williams @/StefWilliams25

TRANSCRIPT:

Why creatives are seeking residuals vs. "do you pay the mattress maker every time you sleep on a mattress?" A thread. I keep hearing over and over again that writers/actors/creatives don't deserve residuals for the work they create. "If I build a bathroom in a house, I don't get paid every time someone uses the toilet."

TRUE! However, your bathroom build has a set market value. Art does not. No one knows what makes one TV show an overnight success, and another a flop. No one knows what makes one song a hit, and the other a dud. If they did, trust me when I say record companies would be churning out Taylor Swifts over and over again. Studios would be making nothing but Stranger Things.

But that isn't the case. No one could predict Stranger Things would be a massive, billion dollar hit. No one could predict Taylor Swift was going to be a world wide phenomenon who literally could record herself reading Aesop's Fables and make millions of dollars. Which is why residuals are important. The pay structure protects both the creators and the publishers/distributors.

The easiest way to explain it is by referencing an author writing a book. Sure, an author might get a very modest up front fee, but the author is banking on royalties to really make money on the book — for every book sold, the author gets a piece of the pie. This protects both the author and the publisher—because if the book is a flop, the publisher doesn't go broke on a financial promise they made to the author that didn't pan out, and if the book is a mega-hit, the author didn't give away a massive, million-dollar book for 20k.

It's a sliding scale that is required for a product that has no set market value. What makes an actor's work on a hit show more valuable than an actor's work on a show that gets canned after five episodes? The market value for art almost always comes after the fact, so residuals account for that reality. They make sure the creator get compensated at a fair market rate. A person who builds a bathroom knows, upfront, what the market rate for a bathroom is. That bathroom won't suddenly be worth 1000 times more than you built it for in six months. It doesn't have the potential to be built for 20k and generate 20 million.

Residuals are a pay structure that simply account for an unsure market value. Trust me, we all wish we could quantify art in terms of dollars. But art is unpredictable. So studios and streamers -- which literally REQUIRE content to stay viable -- have to account for that unpredictability. And for studios (or record labels, or book publishers) it's always trial and error. The only way to get a hit, is to go through a few flops.

For every Whitney Houston, there was a singer you never heard of. For every Sopranos, there was a show that got scrapped mid season. For every Titanic, there was a movie that bombed. For every Twilight, there was a book about vampires that went nowhere. Residuals are kind of a reverse market valuation. They pay a fair wage for a product than can only have a set value once it's been created and effectively consumed.

And even then, shit changes. Anyone think Kate Bush would spend weeks on the top of the charts in 2022? Residuals account for unpredictable markets. And in order to have accurate residuals, streamers and studios need to be transparent and open about their data, which is one of the MANY things the WGA and SAG are both fighting for.

#sag-aftra strike #sag strike #actors strike #union solidarity #support unions #fans4wga #described #wga strike #writers strike

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dragonkid11 · 5 months

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It has been 6 months since Patreon made a switch on its banking processing location and every single month a not so insignificant amount of my Patrons keep getting declined to completely mysterious reasons.

I'm just losing people to a reason that's outside my control.

I do not mind people leaving on their own due to financial reasons or just because 'I don't feel like it', you ARE giving me fund to support my channel and if you think my channel is going in places you don't like, you are free to not support me.

What I do mind is rich fucks not fixing their broken ass shit and fucking things up for people that needs it.

I'm not the only small-time creators affected by this bullshittery either, it's kinda a ridiculous amount.

It's why I revamped my Ko-fi page a few months ago to hopefully present a FUNCTIONAL alternatives to support my channel.

But honestly, Patreon is still my primary source of lncome even if it's really shitty at the moment, so my strategy right now is just to survive.

Anyway, sorry for bringing this up during new year, but new year is also kinda about trying to make a change, so I guess that's what I'm trying to do here.

Just gotta try to survive here I suppose.

As mentioned, I'm working on my Ko-fi page now too, and I have made changes to my Patreon page so new patrons don't all put their money in at the 1st of the month because that might be what's causing the problem.

But I do not know if it actually works, I just hope it does.

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theminecraftbee · 3 months

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so, first, accountability statement: I plan on trying to finish the “zedaph steals a baby” fic by the end of the month and god is that one-line summary no longer accurate but we’re sticking to it, said here publicly so now I have to do it. obviously I also have recursive exchange and the writing I have for hotguy comics zine, but I am not SUPER worried about either of those time/inspiration-wise at the moment and also for Reasons I know it won’t be long until I have more free writing time after that, SO.

various items that are on my potential writing docket, I am curious which of these appeal most:

I dust off the supervillain support group au. two ways this could go: I chip away at the second arc of my original outline and acknowledge this will be like a 300k fic I’m not ready to feel “done” with or “ready to post” with for ages, or I re-work it into something a little more doable and less ambitious keeping the same premise (ren runs a support group for supervillains, doc pov as he starts to heal and redeem himself). this MAY honestly be a target for “if I don’t hate the first 50k on re-reading it and I can actually make my brain write the second arc, do a slower release schedule and then start releasing chapters before I’m done writing”? but this ALSO runs the risk of “I stopped writing it, which is often a sign I was having trouble writing it”.

pearl monster au, which has been cooking in my head for a long while. the basic premise is “one day, pearl, with no memory of how or why this happened, wakes up in a facility as a monster and must try to figure out how she got there, escape, and find her way home, even knowing she may be irrevocably changed”. now with bonus season 10 fish flavor to add to this creature design I’ve been iterating on in my head for forever! this one is ALSO an experiment for me in “can I write a fic where I can’t write dialogue for basically the entire first act”, which would be interesting to see from me, you know?

the related “bigb folklore au”, where after secret life bigb is woken up by Cat and Dog by the tracks of the King Snake, which bigb can recognize as the railroad track, and decides to journey down the railroad to see if he can figure out what the fuck is going on. I need to do video review of life series bigb for this one. this is my excuse to get Weird and Metaphorical and also assign everyone to various animals for no reason, along with using some very specific aesthetic I have wanted to use for some worldbuilding but hadn’t gotten around to yet in any of my stuff. man walks through the desert with animal, confronts train that might be the watchers, might be death, and might just be a train. also, realizes that “confront” is the operative word there and has to deal with that. you know how it is.

““office au””, in air quotes because it’s not REALLY what anyone going to an office au is looking for so much as an excuse to write weird horror. iskall, normal-ish software developer man in a boring office job who does game jams in his free time, goes to work one day to work in his boring downtown office on a payment system for a client. and then things, uh, Take A Turn. this would be a LITTLE me going “what if I wrote an au with a guy who works in tech but like, the boring side of tech I’m in. like, banks and consulting and manufacturing and shit. where you sit in meetings all day and tweak java 8 code even though that language is ten years out of date. but THEN. something exciting happens in the worst way possible.” I’m doing to iskall what I did to mumbo stuffed bird is what I’m saying. it’d be fun.

DO ANY OF THESE PARTICULARLY INTEREST ANYONE. your input will be valued. like 50% chance i get hit with a strong bolt of inspiration then IGNORE that input but it’ll be valued all the same,

#note that me telling you about these ideas is ALSO accountability #on account of both ‘anyone can make whatever based on my things forever’ meaning one of you could make one now #and on account of people will start asking me about them on rare occasion now lol

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bitchesgetriches · 2 years

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Fundamentals of investing:

What’s the REAL Rate of Return on the Stock Market?

Do NOT Make This Disastrous Beginner Mistake With Your Retirement Funds

The Dark Magic of Financial Horcruxes: How and Why to Diversify Your Assets

Dafuq Is Interest? And How Does It Work for the Forces of Darkness?

Booms, Busts, Bubbles, and Beanie Babies: How Economic Cycles Work

When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation

Investing Deathmatch series:

Investing Deathmatch: Managed Funds vs. Index Funds

Investing Deathmatch: Traditional IRA vs. Roth IRA

Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not

Investing Deathmatch: Stocks vs. Bonds

Investing Deathmatch: Timing the Market vs. Time IN the Market

Investing Deathmatch: Paying off Debt vs. Investing in the Stock Market

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Bullshit Reasons Not to Buy a House: Refuted

Investing in Cryptocurrency is Bad and Stupid

So I Got Chickens, Part 1: Return on Investment

Twelve Reasons Senior Pets Are an Awesome Investment

How To Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year

Understanding the stock market:

Ask the Bitches Pandemic Lightning Round: “Did Congress Really Give $1.5 Trillion to Wall Street?”

Season 3, Episode 2: “I Inherited Money. Should I Pay Off Debt, Invest It, or Blow It All on a Car?”

Money Is Fake and GameStop Is King: What Happened When Reddit and a Meme Stock Tanked Hedge Funds

Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?”

Retirement plans:

Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?

Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over

How to Painlessly Run the Gauntlet of a 401k Rollover

Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?”

Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment

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A Brief History of the 2008 Crash and Recession: We Were All So Fucked

Ask the Bitches Pandemic Lightning Round: “Is This the Right Time To Start Investing?”

#investing #stock market #investing for beginners

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teecupangel · 5 months

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Desmond being bored and deciding to make a retelling of his ancestors for shaun or historians of the assassin's. Except he 'accidentally' makes it public and it goes viral, given that sometimes its Desmond and other times its his ancestors from the bleeding effect

The Assassins desperately needed a win.

After the Great Purge, the Assassins were left imprison in a sinking ship.

William Miles and Gavin Banks tried their best to protect and hide what was left but it was a losing battle.

It made people desperate.

Desperate enough to place their fate in Desmond Miles.

Desmond Miles, the runaway son of William Miles.

Desmond Miles, the descendant to Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad and Ezio Auditore.

The golden boy of the Assassins.

He didn’t really care much about him.

Rebecca Crane was his tech support so he never even met the great Desmond Miles.

He was stuck here, in the basement of a loud club in Berlin, doing his job as one of the contact persons of Erudito.

Most of the time, he just helped Erudito fuck Abstergo’s shit up.

Or try to anyway.

Abstergo does have one of the most impressive security system money can buy.

They were slowly chipping on it though.

Most of Erudito were still trying to throw rocks at the digital bullet proof system Abstergo has while he and the best of Erudito hack into another company who uses the same system to find its weaknesses that they can use against Abstergo.

They were so close to a break through.

And he may have drunk 6 or 7 energy drinks for the last 62 hours so he actually thought he was hallucinating for a moment when he clicked the link one of the Erudito hackers he was working with had spent with the message “dude, isn’t he one of yours? O.o”.

It was a youtube video.

Of Desmond Miles…

In that motherfucking (should certainly be) secret hideout in Italy.

With that motherfucking statue of Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad behind him, completely clear on view.

“So you wanted to know what Ezio was doing while he was looking for Cesare Borgia, right, Shaun? You went out and I know I’ll be back in the Animus by the time you get here so I’m recording this so you can watch it while I’m stuck in the Animus.”

“So… Cesare left Roma after he failed to kill Ezio and got sent to Castel Sant’Angelo.”

He blinked.

Was…

Was Desmond Miles giving a history lesson???

Oh, fuck, he was.

And he just namedropped Machiavelli and Leonardo as Ezio’s companions who were also looking for where Cesare was transferred after he escaped and got captured again in Firenze.

And…

He had started to speak in Italian.

Not only that…

His entire demeanor, even the way he sat had changed.

He had only heard about it.

The Bleeding Effect.

Desmond Miles was bleeding as Ezio Auditore in a fucking video in the internet.

His second phone began to rang and he prayed to every holy and demonic being that it wasn’t William Miles.

No matter what William Miles say, he cannot just scrub that video from the internet.

It was obvious (6 millions views! What the fuck!!!) that someone out there had already downloaded this video and taking it down would just spark more controversy.

He looked at the number and knew exactly who was calling him.

He accepted the call and said immediately, “What the fuck, Crane. Why did Miles upload a video to fucking Youtube?!”

Rebecca groaned and he could hear Lucy Stillman and Shaun Hastings shouting in the background, most probably ripping Desmond Miles a new one.

“The phone he used to record it automatically uploads to Youtube.”

He blinked.

“That is bullshit.”

“It’s true! It’s one of Lucy’s burner phones and she didn’t even change the settings at all! It defaulted to that kind of setting!”

“No phone has an automatic upload to Youtube and you know it.”

“I know but this one does! It’s so weird! It’s like… something weird is going on here!”

“I’d believe it more if you said Miles wanted to publish it as unlisted but fucked up.”

Rebecca groaned once more.

A phone that automatically uploads to Youtube.

That was such bullshit.

(Rebecca is telling the truth. The phone is a weird one and Lucy can’t even remember where she got it. Almost like… it was always there. Dun dun dun)

#i could have made this in the same au #as the tasting history-esque au #but nah #i wanted to make this a much more #holy shit #moment for the assassins XD #assassin's creed #desmond miles #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #ask and answer

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nicomoon69 · 3 months

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so in my spider! Bernard AU I’m slightly changing up his character so here’s basics on Bernard:

- Bernard is still into cooking and it started years back purely because he didn’t trust the food industry. that meant he spent ages learning how to cook and figuring out how to make a lot of popular food items. he has a little list of companies he trusts and doesn’t. he doesn’t want to open a restaurant anymore/become a chef, more so being interested in keeping himself and others healthy

- Bernard knows a freaky amount of things he probably shouldn’t but masks knowing said knowledge with his conspiracy theories (he only believes in like half of them) so to most people he’s just a crazy guy saying crazy things. he still ends up being on a few watchlists so he tries to throw those off by also being a conspiracist online (he also truly enjoys it, but that’s an added bonus)

- Bernard’s actually really smart but due to above as well as a lack of giving a shit about school material (he prefers scientific what ifs and weapon/super hero/vigilante stuff) so he ended up not being able to get into the courses he would’ve preferred due to his mostly average grades. it’s why he’s now double majoring in physics and biology in hopes of getting to do a masters in something closer to that (also a bit of pressure from his parents)

- Bernard has had suit designs for himself and other vigilantes just lying around (which is also how he got a pretty functional suit in a pretty short amount of time). it was mostly a hobby where he’d think about what if scenarios

- Bernard when possible does everything on paper, since he doesn’t trust the government and other big corporations. it’s why his empty apartment has stacks of paper laying around (all neatly categorized and sealed, but it looks like a mess to anyone else)

- kinda in the same vein as the last one but Bernard has most of his money in cash, only having what is absolutely necessary on his bank account. he also claims it saves him money since he can’t just freely spend money with a tap of his card (it’s kind of true since when he had to spend money for his suit he actually had most of it lying around)

- Bernard had a short phase in high school that had him convinced he needed to learn russian so he can now speak a bit of russian, but most importantly he can do the accent really well. it’s what he used as spiderman to throw people off of his identity (it gives Tim a genuine headache)

- Bernard works a part time job at a restaurant as an assistant chef (he needs to buy groceries and pay rent after all). it’s a little italian diner a few blocks from his apartment. he always get leftovers and food that’s about to spoil to reduce their waste

I don’t know if I missed anything important, but this is basically going to be my characterization on him! if you have any suggestions or can point to canon that directly conflicts with these ideas pls lmk! I’m always up to revise my stuff :)

#spiderman benard dowd #bernard dowd #dc #dc hcs #my brain

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astrronomemes · 1 year

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A NOVEL I’LL NEVER PUBLISH : STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from a YA novel I wrote back in high school. change & alter as needed.

“Are you just going to keep staring at that thing all day?”

“This is a bank, right? ...So why does it look like there’s some serious horror movie shit going down here?”

“Personally, I think she was just born a bitch.”

“Get yourself something to eat.”

“We’ve got to get this place cleaned up and looking nice.”

“It only takes sixty seconds of your time, but the peace of mind it gives you will last for a lifetime.”

“And you’re not frightened of needles, right?”

“That’s got more lies printed on it than a presidential campaign poster.”

“Remember that weekend in Los Angeles? Well, this is just like that, except we’re not using dynamite, and there won’t be any human sacrifices.”

“Oh, god, it’s trying to break the door down!”

“Did you get that off a bumper sticker?”

“No one wants to deal with your shit, [name]. Why else do you think your parents ditched you?”

“I’m fine. I ate last night.”

“Yes, a fair number of global concerns could be resolved if only people would stop ‘saying things’.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“It’s been like this for as long as I can remember.”

“My parents weren’t really into all that sentimental ‘loving your child’ shit.”

“Do you think it’s after midnight yet?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, [name], but I’m pretty sure no one in recorded history has ever had laser vision.”

“Still, it’s kind of cool, isn’t it?”

“There’s no reason to be nervous, honey. It’s just standard procedure.”

“Things will get better. They just have to.”

“We have enough to keep the lights on, or the water running, but not both.”

“Look, nobody cares about people like us, okay? They never do. They never will. We’re on our own out here.”

“Apparently, I’ve joined the ranks of the demons. That’s what the priest told me when he was trying to ‘save my immortal soul’, or whatever.”

“I’m just a fuck-up, okay?! I fuck everything up! Everything! All the time! That’s why I’m alone! That’s why no one wants anything to do with me!”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out for us, son.”

“She’s probably just mad at us for breathing. Repeated offenses, you know.”

“I’m doing this for you! For all of you!”

“We’ll leave a light on for you.”

“You’ve always been a part of our family, [name]. You just took the long way coming home.”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #rp starters #roleplay starters #dialogue prompts #rp prompts #rp memes #roleplay memes #sentence memes #sentence prompts #sentence starters

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dairy-farmer · 2 months

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I call this the Highlander Au! >:Dc There can Be Only One! (Unless he REALLY enjoys the process and the world stops going to shit for like... FIVE god damned minutes!) (The second is sadly unlikely)

Tim? Fully Cis gendered male. Not terribly ATTACHED to this, physically, but certainly identifies as Male and has a male body.

Maybe it's been all the near misses. The "all my friends fuckin DIED on my and I mentally spiraled like you wouldn't believe". Could be him finally reclaiming his life. Or yet another horrible mental spiral. Who knows!

But he's decided.

He wants to be a Dad. *sound of various Bats choking and/or dropping things*

Is even seeing anybody? Nope. How the FUCK is he gonna get a baby?! Oh, normal, Bat Paranoid fashion. Cloning tube. Same way Damian happened. He just needs to figure out the maternal DNA and he's golden. Figure out where to hide his tech to stop Villainous Baby Snatching Plots.

Because that's a very real concern.

No you can't talk him out of this. Timmy want himself a baby. Is already designing a nursery and studying child development books. Parenting manuals, getting those little animal onsies, lazer death grids to ward of Ra's ninjas. The works.

Bruce is off to the side, quietly having an aneurysm and choking to death on his own spit. Baby boy? Fatherhood? OFFSPRING!? Alone and not going to LET HIM HELP!? But why would he help!? Bad idea! But. But he needs to BE THERE to TAKE CARE of TIM and the future BABY! Aaaaaaaaa-!!!!!

It's a... "Fun" time. Dick is nearing a nervous breakdown. Bruce not far behind. Damians having Feelings(tm).

Then! At a Wayne Charity Event(tm)? Small glowing child. Looks alien. Is getting upset. People backing away IN A HURRY because they just watched this child WARP REALITY to turn the nearest table into candy.

Tim is there as the face of the family. A hero. Already feeling generally Paternal. Upset baby is Bad. So he goes in, dispite clear protests. Gets low and talks soothing.

But the alien Wants Her MOMMY!

And? Oh. Well there goes the protective amulets JLA Dark made for him. Now he's in an alien dress and? Very much no longer Cis. Guess he would have and DID inherent from his dad's side of the family, no boobs. Tiny. At least he got his mom's killer legs.

And the kiddo isn't scared any more. Since he "looks like mommy".

Except not even remotely, because she warps into being an HOUR later, looking for her daughter and is made of pure light. Thanks him. Doesn't FIX anything. And just leaves. Gee, thanks lady.

There were REPORTERS there. Tim Drake has tits now. Front page news. Great. Ra's is GOING to know and get WEIRD about it.

Tim shrugs. Off to Leslie we go, though. Check up time!

Yep. Full lady bits action. And, hey! Shiny new spleen! So that's nice.

It DOES change his plan though. He didn't, you know, collect any "samples" yet. But? Does... does he NEED too? He COULD concoct a story of "rich person hires mystic to get penis back" after going and getting magiced back.... OR?

He could have someone put a baby in him! *simultaneous Bat Choking Noises*

MUCH easier to defend. THEN he could be changed back, after the baby is weaned. The problem is who to trust? Ra's is ABSOLUTELY going to do everything in his power to get his seed inside Tim new puss. So a seed bank is out. And-

*hands slam on the table*

Obviously! We can't trust anyone outside this house! Villian plots and Ra's specifically! Bat paranoia! W-we will just have to make this sacrifice for you!

.....Weirdly intense, but okay.

Objection! Says Tim's newly no longer Dead team mates. Tim tried to CLONE Kon! OBVIOUSLY it should be Kon! And Bart! Bro Threesome! Let nature decide! (Then kid number 2 is the other Bro, is only FAIR)

ALSO a good point. He did have that promise, if one of them ever got turned into a girl. And a Kon baby WOULD be nice...

Shit! Grayson pulls "last of my legacy and I have so much to make up for" cards!

Is betrayed by his OWN FATHER (Bruce! How COULD YOU!?) Who plays "you saved me from the time steam and nearly died for me, let me help(emotional)" to devastating effect!

Cheating! Howls the Speedster! You're CHEATING!!!

And Tim stands there... kinda confused but finding he's actually Really In To This as people argue over how much THEY want to be the one to put a baby in him? He's never felt this badly WANTED. Desired.

He may not want to go through the whole "actually carrying a baby for 9 months then pushing one out" thing more then once.... but the fighting over him thing? This might be awaking something.

And, well, Kon already made a good point. Why try to control it? Let nature decide~

Everyone can help.

The argument stops dead. For all of the seconds before "who goes first?" Occurs to everyone.

Sadly for THEM, Bruce is a bastard willing to play dirty to get what he wants. And his house his rules. He goes first. After all, he no doubt smirks, none of THEM have the... experience, to handle a virgin properly.

He refuses to allow Tim hurt on his watch.

Got it? Good talk. Tim, with him.

Which is what leads to Tim clawing at the bed and begging like his life depends on it, soaked in sweat, hours later. As Bruce STILL gently, teasingly, RUTHLESSLY eats him out. Puddles worth of lube ruining the sheets and easing his way, as he works calloused fingers DEEP to find spots Tim didn't know he had yet. As they rub and tease and fuck against those spots so relentlessly it feels like Tim's coming apart.

He didn't even know he could MAKE half these noises.

His hole is so wet and sloppy, it's like it's given up. Like his body can do nothing but quiver and twitch under Bruce's hands. Given how big he is? Probably the point. Because he crawls up to loom over Tim like a giant. Presses kisses to his whimpering, sweaty face. And rocks into his exhausted body, filling every inch of him.

It doesn't even hurt. Something that big probably SHOULD for his first time, but Bruce isn't a legendary playboy for nothing. And it just fills and Fills and FILLS. Rubs against everything in a way that makes his toes curl. Makes him want to gasp and cling, even though he's so exhausted.

Bruce just shooshes him. Pulls him close. He won't have to do a thing. He can just cling to Bruce and feel good. Bruce is here. He's got you.

And it's the best thing Tim's ever felt. Forget masturbation, sex is AMAZING. Bruce rocking then thrusting then pounding into his body. Holding tight like something precious. Hammering his good spots still he sees stars. Til he's nearly sobbing, hiccuping, from how good it feels to have his insides all messed up.

Bruce fills him up. All gooey and warm. Picks him up and carries him to a clean bed to get wiped down and tucked in. Cleans up then joins him. Fills him back up and tucks him close. He feels boneless and precious. Sleeps like the dead.

Discovers sex with a puss is AWESOME.

Next morning, he's barely out of Bruce's room before Dick is scooping him up and dragging him into his room. Almost franticly bending him in half as he presses him to the bed, kissing the air out of him. Holding his face as he whispers filthy praise into his lips. Hips relentless as they slam home, pounding at just the right angle.

Like he's trying to make for YEARS of mistakes by pouring it all into pleasure NOW. Clinging tight and trying to fry Tim's brain with how good he can make him feel. Dick buries his faces against Tim's neck and rutts like he's making up for lost time. Fucking Tim through orgasms, spilling again and again, like he's determined to drain his balls dry and wring every last bit of pleasure he CAN out of Tim's exhausted body.

Tim has to threaten to hit him with an alarm clock to let him up. Tim wants LUNCH damn it. They missed breakfast. By a LOT.

But then work calls. Damn it. So he has to get dressed. Double damn it. And he does it, but refuses to be pleased about it. Resolves things. Even gets ahead on work. Only for DAMIAN to walk stiffly into his office. Sus.

The gremlin hands him a frankly VERY well put together report on why he, Damian AL Ghul... should be allowed to fuck a baby into Tim. He has brought along a slide show and genealogical report.

.......Explain.

Damian does. He REALIZED some things about himself. When Tim was discussing becoming a Father. Using the same method as he, himself, was created. Went through a whole "go to the Kent farm and have a life change adventure" character growth arc, as you do. And? Now realizing that he potentially COULD be DIRECTLY involved in the Hypothetical Child's life instead of as an uncle?

He wants in. They could be glorious, combined. AND he firmly believes Tim will be a magnificent Mother. Let him Father your child.

It's a bad idea. Tim knows this. He literally JUST slept with Bruce yesterday and nothing good comes from sleeping with AL Ghul's. They Obsess. But? Fuck it. Maybe THIS is the thing that finally stops the Tim-Gremlin cold war and bring peace to house Wayne once and for all. He unbuckles his belt. Walks over to his resting room.

And Tim KNOWS, even as he's being urgently fucked into the fold out bed, that this is an AWFUL idea. No way in HELL, from the desperate and sloppy thrusts, clinging, panting and whines, is this NOT Damian's first time. He's utterly undone.

Pounding load after load into Tim because it feels too good to stop. All enthusiasm and no skill. Half the pleasure Tim's even GETTING is his own hand, relentlessly teasing his own clit. But? Oh. The feeling of being wanted so BADLY. Of cum, gushing and gushing into him. Knowing it's HIS hole that's so good, it's driving Damian incoherent.

He feels... sexy. It DEFINITELY does something for him. He may not be able to go back. Could see himself enjoying being a milf.

But of course. Business hours end. And he PROMISED! Is swept up by Bart for their threesome. Which, after several rounds and untold loads of near-no-refractary-period speedster cum dumped inside him? Is kinda spotty, in his memory.

All he knows for certain is he wakes up to his sheepish best friends, "Sorry we fucked you unconscious repeatedly" bribes, no voice, and a warm bath. He's also plugged up and FULL full of that premium speedster/half-kryptonian blend cum, because apparently his friend intend to WIN and nothing says victory like overwhelming odds. He'd call them fuckers, but they ARE and hold no remorse. He can't move.

Carry him you bastards.

When he asks where Cassie is, he learns she's apparently trying to harrass the magic users into a making her a temporary "turn me into a dude" amulet. Both as a gift AND so she can join the race for Father Of Tim's Baby. Huh. Interesting new options.

Obviously, throughout ALL of this, ninjas. Because Ra's has never wanted to smash so hard in his LIFE.

Instead, Tim is out here, on Jason's shitty couch. Getting lifted up and slammed down onto his cock. Called baby girl. Princess. Jason's never been harder. Already planning their kids graduation dinner and baby number three.

Tim feeling precious and taken care of and DESIRED. Like the young adult with a first shitty apartment he never got to be. Something so close to normal. Put a baby in him. Fuck him like you love him, like they do this every Saturday night, then eat pizza and watch trash TV. Fill him up.

And if course~ it's a VICIOUS game of Fuck The Tim keep away, up until one day he starts to show. Then Everyone is loving and coddling and in a "No I Am The Father" cold war. The birth is a nightmare, because Tim is slender and more scar tissue then not. But?

Adorable quarter-Kryptonian! With the biggest blue eyes and Tim's porcelain doll face.

Tim is NOT doing that again. Ffffffuck giving birth. And being pregnant! Granted, the EARLY part? He loved. He glowed. Getting pregnant was AWESOME. But later stages? God awful. Clone tube babies from here on out.

Absolute Devastation in the Tom Fucking Community. Babe no! You can't MEAN IT!

Woah, hey! He never said he'd STOP. "Getting Pregnant" is very, VERY enjoyable. He's just refusing to carry SHIT. Birth control for HIM. Scooping that slurry of "leave it up to Nature" out and storing it. Now... Kon stop being smug and hold your son.

-🐼🐼🐼

😭😭😭 tim getting everyone to come to dinner and they all think it was alfred and are like 'this was a great idea alfred! we should all get together like this more often' only for tim to cough and say well actually i called you all here, i figured you all deserved a heads up since i'm going to be undergoing some serious life changes. everyone's confused and then tim says he's going to have a baby.

immediate panic and some disappointment from bruce because he thinks this is a teen pregnancy and he expected better from tim only for tim to have to yell to interrupt everyone and say there is no 'girl', not yet anyway. he's just announcing that he's GOING to have a baby. they're not yet conceived and now the family is dealing with whiplash of how of course TIM would do something like this now they're sitting their listening to him talk about the ideal gene pool given tim's family has a history of mental issues and he's going into some very detailed things like nurseries and everyone just wants him to slow down because tim is still a kid!!! dick is older than him and even HE doesn't feel ready. so everyone is trying to talk tim out of it while tim insists he's ready, he's been going to a therapist for 11 months trying to deal with his issues so he COULD be ready to be a parent.

which of course baffles them even more because???? dick has been trying to get them all into therapist for years and tim just???? went??? on his own????

bruce is of course the least welcoming of tim's ideas of teen parenthood. because what about highschool, college? at least ONE of his kids has to go to college!

tim however says no, says his GED is more than enough.

bruce tries finding other angles, asking what if he just sets tim up with babysitting gigs? make him see kids aren't that great and tim just huffs and said he already did a bunch of babysitting and volunteering at the children's centers in gotham as part of his adoption application!

which ???? just stressed bruce out even more?! because tim had tried to adopt a baby first? but apparently got rejected because of his age, lack of partner, and lack of job which tim loudly says is unfair because bruce was in his 20s when he took in dick and HE hadn't had a partner or a job!

so the family is protesting, despertly trying to get tim to change his mind,,, then tim gets a womb and suddenly the protests die down VERY quick.

#answered asks #asks #anonymous

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blorbologist · 1 year

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Yawns, g'morning.

I'm thinking about Vaxleth and episode 51, as. Most of us are, really. Holy shit.

And I think Vax's divine nature played a role in how Ludinus was able to set and bait this trap. I don't think we'd have gotten this outcome if Vax was still a mortal Champion, like his sister. Furthermore, Keyleth’s position as Voice of the Tempest was also critical here.

Let me explain: let's say some other half of a ship could have fulfilled this orb critera. If we pretend that any Champion could do (I think they needed the divine aspect of Vax's unlife but play along here), why not bait the trap for Vex, or Pike, or Scanlan, or Yasha?

Beyond the 'Vax is practically an angel now and has orb properties' angle, I think part of it is the sheer... everything that is mortal. If Percy was captured Vex would have any number of solutions - send Trinket in, attack at range, Rogue it up, or do the sensible thing and bring in friends. The living are variable, you can't count on them to behave as you need.

Ludinus loathes gods and their servants: of course he'd expect them to be predictable - and he'd be right! Vax is not all Vax anymore (see Dalen's Closet and Tal’Dorei Reborn), he's a deathless shepherd and servant of the Raven Queen. Why would he think this through? He has no life to lose, only Keyleth’s to save. You don’t need to consider how to use a shield, you just do. People shape their plans around the steady expectations of gods, their almost immutable domains, and Vax is divine enough for that to apply to him. They'd know he would behave exactly as he did. It could be argued living!Vax would as well, and there are several songs and historical records about him, so worst came to worst Ludinus could hope that this is maintained. But that's an uncertainty, and not fitting for a centuries-long plan.

And now the second part: it had to be Keyleth. They couldn't have used Vex to draw him out, I don’t think, as much as it pains me. Either the story of Dalen's Closet was limited to the guests and any lil kids who heard the Ballad of Derrig or it proves the Champion cannot willingly approach his sister. It took a Wish for that.

Vex has had five kids, spent thirty years protecting Whitestone, and has her fingers in the financial goings on of all Tal’Dorei. By no means does she have a small impact on the world: her smallest taxation decisions could mean poverty or wealth for thousands! But many of her biggest impacts on the future, on destiny, have already come to pass. Her adventures in Vox Machina, the children she bore, the decades of decisions she's already made (I doubt she'd be on the council for even a few years without changing much of her sphere to her liking.)

Keyleth is the Voice of the Tempest. She will, hopefully, live almost two thousand years. Imagine all the lives she will impact in that time! Directly! The Matron must be so familiar with her strand of fate because it touches so many, many others!

Even if Vax, somehow, did not remember her. Even if he was a shell of himself. This is someone the Matron cannot let die before her time (hopefully a thousand plus years from now). This is one person she would have to bend the rules for and see saved, and there's just the man for the job. She would not allow intervention for Vex, or Percy, or those nieces and nephews Vax surely watches. Not Velora, not Scanlan, not Gilmore. Keyleth, with centuries of work to do in this world, with generations to guide, is too valuable.

What I'm saying is... literally no other ship could have pulled this off. None. This was built for Vaxleth, from its very bones. You could have, say, an AU where Vex is the Champion of Ravens (wink), and this would not be certain enough for Ludinus to bank on it. Very likely, but not assured (the Matron could refuse to intervene, or they could intervene in a less 'take me instead you lil red-storm shit' way, etc.).

Evil plans bank on the inevitable. Gravity, greed, time. Their love is inevitable, a law of nature.

It could not have been anyone else

#Vaxleth is! not one of my main ships.#EXCEPT for those dozen-ish episodes where Vax is a Revenant and the angst is top tier and OH BOY DOES THIS DELICER #deliver*#cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #critical role #critrole spoilers #vaxleth #vax'ildan #keyleth #keyleth of the air ashari #cr c3e51 #c3e51 #campaign 3 #vox machina #ludinus da'leth #cr meta

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nrdmssgs · 4 months

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Is it just me

or are some episodes in the CoD franchise actually absolutely hilarious if you watch them with some in-depth knowledge of modern Russia?

Ok, this is not a critique, I'm not saying, the following scenes are bad/lazy. They make sense, ok? I'm just giggling every time I stumble upon them.

Nikolai looking at this place and commenting 'parking here sucks'.

If it was Price or Gaz - no further questions, because they assess the current situation.

But Nik saying that? Nik, darling, it's the good old Saint Petersburg, the very heart of it. You don't need to be local to know, that parking sucks not only here, but also 15 km around this area. This city was not built for cars, it changes, yes. But the historical part is anything but a parking lot. Imagine if an Italian told you that there are parking problems in the tourist part of Venice. No shit, darling?

This scene. Soap, Laswell and Ghost speedrunning Alexey Navalnys work.

So we have the ACF group in Russia. Long story short: they are investigating cases of illegal enrichment of Russian elites (oligarchs, politicians, terrorists, etc.). Each investigation involves dozens of people and takes months (sometimes years) to accomplish. Here is an example of such a case (there are English subtitles available).

The ACF is the biggest organization, specializing in such investigations in Russia now (i`m not counting the Belling Cat, because they investigate a wide variety of themes and cases, not only corruption in Ru).

One of the reasons, why each investigation takes so much energy and time is because the suspect does everything possible to ensure that his property and money are not associated with his name. All financial assets are divided, they are stored in banks and assigned not to the oligarch himself, but to dozens of companies and front people. This is done just so that one day a tall Scottish guy with his British friend does not show up to you and transfer all your personal savings with the click of one button.

And do I need to say, that a transfer of a significant sum of money is never done just online and the bank would always demand an offline confirmation of your will? Because at the end of the day, it wont be Milenas problem - it will be her banks headache, when she sues them for having a kindergarten level of security.

So when I see, as Soap and Laswell trace all Milenas fundings in mere days, as they clear her bank accounts in seconds - I just lose it. Because even the most stupid politician in real Ru looks smarter than poor Milena. But again, it's not bad, its artistic allowance necessary for the pacing of the narrative.

#nrdmssgs #nrdspeaks

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littlegreekhero · 2 months

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TimLonnie headcanons

This is a continuation to my last post :3

Mostly platonic stuff (since i hc lon as aroace), but open to romantic interpretation!

Lonnie is Tim's go-to yapper. Need someone to fight with? Tim just drops a pro-state take mid conversation with anyone and the next thing he knows, Lonnie is yelling with text-to-speech in his earbuds. Need to be grounded about an ethical dilemma? Ask no one but Lonnie. Tim enjoys getting him mad and heated about a subject a little too much and the way he laughs makes it seem like Red Robin is a villain in Anarky comics, and not vice versa.

Midnight confessions with Lonnie go hard. Tim's trying to solve a case about a maniacal genius and Lon casually drops "Red, this seems just like the time i tried to fuse my two brain lobes together, you might want to look into it."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN you tried to fuse your brain lobes together??!? GEE LON,,, is this why we havent been able to pull you out of comatose FOR YEARS??"

Or like "Tim, I know your relationship with a father figure to whom you don't know to which extent you relate to can be hard. I can empathise through my relationdhip with Joker." "With- HUH?"

Tim helps build Lon's mobility aids, devices, and with thorough work of a few years, he's back to not being bound to bed.

Tim also helps him do his hair, because being a badass redhead with a long curly mullet is a lot of work for physically disabled Lonnie.

Bernard thinks Lonnie is an imaginary friend of Tim's at first like when he claimed Stephanie was a made up girlfriend. Tim doesn't correct him for once.

Then one day a mechatronic shows up at the door and asks for Tim Drake. "I was informed he would be around here?" A creepy voice box announces. Bernard screams so hard you would think he's back in the pain cult.

Tim and Lonnie go for picnics in abandoned (ahem, community owned) buildings in Gotham, in costume.

Tim keeps the extra mannequin head Lonnie used to stuff in his costume as memorabilia from their childhood.

Lonnie Machin is the financial advisor of Wayne Entreprises' charities and foundations... uhh.. at least for an hour, before all the bank accounts have been hacked into and the money distributed to said charities and global organisations Lonnie founded through the Ünter/Internet. Tim is grounded for issuing a fake identity to an old villain to do the same villain activity he did years ago.

Red Robin has to pretend to not to see a lot of things Anarky does to keep up with his public image. They kind of continue a fake beef going in between them like old times to keep away suspicion.

"Tim what if he turns back into a villain, how can you trust him so blindly?" "Oh, i would not wish it in any circumstance. He has control over everything i own, after all." "Everything?" "Moneyspider, open my belt pockets please, i crave a snack."

"Lonnie, how can you trust a Bat? Don't you still think he will become detrimental to the cause with this hero bullshit one day?" "I would not wish it in any circumstance, Red pays my physical therapy bills. Plus, he has unlimited access to everything i built." "How unlimited?" "Red, what was the password to my classified files again?'

(Its still "password") (Im still so not over the fact that the options were 1- bakunin 2- proudhon and 3- password)

Lonnie, every now and then changes up Tim's password for safety reasons, and forgets to inform him. This has led to Tim getting logged out of Batfam comms and shit. He hates it but the alternative is him recieving a voicemail randomly in the middle of the night.

Like its 4:20 a.m. and Lonnie randomly drops a 65 digit password. Tim is now up and very annoyed.

#headcanon #anarky #anarky dc #lonnie machin #moneyspider #timlon #timlonnie #tim drake #red robin #lonnie hcs #red robin 2009

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arashi-no-saxlphone · 2 months

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whats your opinion on asuka r kreutz

Buddy. Oh man. Either you know me and went on anon to enable me (in which case, thank you) or you're newer here and haven't seen me cry about Guilty Gear's saddest wettest cat yet.

I fucking adore Asuka R Kreutz. I think he's one of the most tragic and complex characters in Guilty Gear. I was gonna put "Well-written" too buuuut... it's hard to track down clear answers for some of the stuff that covers his time with Freddy and Aria as scientists and so I generally extrapolate what feasibly happened to the best of my ability based on what we have. (I am by no means a full-on expert, but I know enough to tell you this man does not deserve all the flack he gets).

In general, I find Asuka to be an immensely tragic and complicated man who at his core, just didn't want things to change and didn't want to lose his only and most dear friends in the whole world. Every single thing he has ever done was fueled by one of two things - his curiosity (which you can consider a flaw, as it often by his own account causes him to neglect right and wrong) or his deep love for Frederick and Aria (I find this to be his driving force for most of his actions in the story of Guilty Gear, right up until shit becomes so absolutely fucked that he has to spend most of his time trying to fix everything that goes wrong and banking on Sol to come through for him as a warrior). Asuka is the embodiment of the phrase "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" and that's probably why in lore he's labelled as "The Devil" in addition to "The Gearmaker."

When Aria gets sick, he suggests putting her in cryosleep until they can cure her disease. She refuses because she doesn't want to miss out on her time with Frederick. "Ok," he says, "well I can do something about that so please agree." And she agrees. And Asuka makes Sol a Gear and fucking immortal without telling him. Then all that crazy bullshit that kickstarts the crusades happens and Sol has to kill Aria because Asuka made her into Justice. This part is fucked up. It's a major fuckup on Asuka's part. In a drama CD, it's highlighted how important Aria's humanity and personhood is to her, and Asuka takes that away when he turns her into Justice. "What's the justification then?"

When Asuka found out that the government was going use their research to create gears as weapons and use them for war, he did EVERYTHING he could to try and stop that. Asuka isn't stupid - he's smart. He's a scientific genius. He could've easily taken the sleeping Frederick and Aria and fucked off, but he wanted to right a wrong. And it just... didn't work. He turned Aria into Justice, and though I think he probably intended to turn her back (after all, we see him demonstrate the ability to undo what he did to Sol at the end of strive) he never got the chance. Because the Universal Will overloads her and Justice just starts the Crusades.

In Overture's story, Asuka makes it clear to Sol that he needs him to be a warrior in order to be prepared for more horrors to come. Asuka realizes after the crusades that he can't fix it alone - everything he's done to solve a problem has so far ended up with him making things worse. Sol hates him. He knows Sol hates him. You know what's fucked up though?

He wants Sol to hate him. He feels like he deserves it.

I feel the need to point out that the crusades last over a century - Sol is immortal because of the gear cells and flame of corruption, but Asuka was just a normal guy - why/how is he here? Asuka created a synthetic body for himself that would not age, and transferred his consciousness into it so that he would not change. So that no matter what, Sol would recognize him. Knowing Sol wouldn't forgive him, knowing that he would always be able to find him, he didn't care - he never ever wanted to lose Sol.

Asuka clearly cares about people. He realizes the consequences of his actions, and he's clearly capable of feeling guilt over them. Look at what he does while working with I-No and Raven: He builds the Jack-O unit in the hopes that he can bring Aria back. He builds the Happy Chaos unit in the hope that he can help I-No regain her full self without going insane. He's Raven's only friend, a man who has been cast aside countless times and used for his powers. Those aren't the actions of a selfish or wholly callous man. If he was callous, he wouldn't try so hard to make SURE he could never escape Sol's anger by making himself permanently recognizable.

"Well maybe he just selfishly didn't want to let go of Sol." This is a legitimately fair point. However, let's recall what happens in the strive story: Asuka offers Frederick a choice between letting him remove the gear cells and flame of corruption from him, or letting Sol kill him.

I need you to look me in the eyes when I tell you I can't handle this part. I can't. Well over a century of fuckups and shit going wrong while Asuka desperately tries to make a million things right that weren't even entirely his fault to begin with - he didn't want to make Gears as weapons, hell he didn't even want to be a scientist! He laments about not having any control over his life and certain decisions. In all of that though, he fucking loves his friends Frederick and Aria. Now one of them's dead because of him, and the other one hates him, and after over 100 years of planning and thinking and work-

Asuka R Kruetz has no idea how to look Frederick Bulsara in the eye and tell him he's sorry. He only knows how to fix it, and also how to offer Sol a chance to feel better about it - I think he truly believes that after everything, if Sol killing him will make Sol feel better, that that's what he should let happen. I'm so fucking ill. Asuka thinks the fucking WORLD of Frederick - listen to this bit of his Strive theme, "The Gravity:"

"As the universe turned black / did the sun ever defy fate? / beyond it all do you recognize me?"

In case you aren't familiar with how Sol Badguy got his name, the government gave him the codename "Badguy" while he was running around wrecking gear compounds. "Sol" is a name given to him by Slayer, because he "shone brightly like the sun."

Now look at that snippet from Asuka's theme again - that line about the sun defying fate? That's about Sol. That's about how much he loves and values Sol, someones he repsect and looks up to, and the only person he had left to count on to fix the world that he feels like he fucked up.

As we know, Sol chooses to let Asuka just un-gear him, but after that Asuka just... leaves. He goes to the moon with the tome of origin to protect it from falling into the wrong hands. Do you know how fucking badly it fucks me up, that after everything, Asuka just ends up alone? He spent over a century trying to fix the world, nothing he did worked, and when it finally did everything was different. Everything. Aria is gone, Frederick is happier but not in his life anymore, and Asuka is alone. Everything he ever did started with his love for Frederick and Aria, and at the end of it all he's alone. And he feels guilty.

His Strive arcade Story rips me to fucking pieces - Asuka clones himself and when he does, the clone Asuka R # mentions specifically that Asuka made him "Chattier." He mentions that Asuka "Doesn't like himself." I read that as Asuka making an idealized version of himself - a self that wouldn't fuck up, a self that wouldn't be hated, but also

A self that would carry on his work.

This is where it gets heavy, but I personally believe Asuka intended to kill himself initially. He has no idea how to say sorry to Frederick, no idea how to atone, and no idea how to exist in a world that so far, he feels he has only ever fucked up in. Another snippet from his theme: "does existence have meaning? / the reality or the truth, the reality of the truth / what fact should we accept? / The reality or the truth? reality" He's trying to figure out if he can still live, if even if he wants to live, does he even deserve to? Have the right to? How can he atone?

The clone states, though it dances around it, that it's worried for Asuka - worried that he's hoping he'll lose the fight, hoping he'll die. But two of the possible outcomes (as strive arcade mode dialogue tends vary based on performance) are listed below:

In both of these conversations, the clone cites a desire to exist - which to the clone, since it is also Asuka in way, means that the original Asuka wants to exist too - and therefore that he can, and is trying to figure out how to.

I think Asuka, like a lot of Gear characters, is about trying to find a place in the world - even if the whole world feels like it's not built for you. All Asuka has ever done is tried - and failed. But he's still here. He DID manage to unfuck everything, and he did it because he DID still have Sol. Another bit of insight his clone dumps on him:

that bit there: "I know you can't affirm yourself. But at least tell me you’ll keep walking. Even if you lose your way. As long as one person out there cares about you… It’s worth it just to try to keep them happy." This is a common theme in Gear: relationships, both romantic and platonic, saving people; connections to others giving people a reason to go on or to see a new perspective that makes life worth living. Jack-O found Sol, who treated her like her own person and made her realize she was more than just a replacement for Aria. Dizzy found Ky and vice versa, changing Ky's perspective on Gears and having Dizzy realize she could be happy even in a world that treated her like a monster. Here on the moon, creating Asuka R# to talk to, Asuka is trying his very best to see and understand the world through Frederick's eyes - a world that Frederick saw as worth fighting for:

Asuka is a character who hasn't found his way yet, but all that matters is that he keeps looking.

Uh so to answer your question, I love Asuka R Kreutz - maybe you can tell by the fact that I dumped an absolute trainwreck mess on you after one small ask. Sorry! I apologize about this being a little all over the place and not having as much cohesion as I would've liked but this character is very dense and complicated and I did this kinda quickly so I had to sort through a bunch of weird feelings as I typed - I hope you found at least some of it interesting.

Thank you for the ask!

Ah, and a big fat huuuuuuuuge thank you to the stellar and amazing new Gear wiki, which is where I pulled those screenshots of his arcade mode script from! It's really a wonder how fast the wiki was put together and just what a fantastic resource it is for stuff like this; it saved me having to watch a video or, god forbid, try and do Asuka's arcade mode myself. Below is a link to the wiki page I pulled Asuka's stuff from - please check it out cause I didn't even come close to covering the full depth of what's talked about in his Arcade mode story and also because the wiki is glorious and deserves love:

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starfxkr · 4 months

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i had this idea of kook! reader whose so new to the outer banks shes doesnt even know shes a kook and she meets jj, and he just tries to just protect her from the kooks and like take her in. could also maybe incorporate jealous rafe whose tryna do the complete opposite as jayj at the same time.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

meeting jj had been a blessing— you were brand new to outer banks, hailing from the midwest and touted along by your parents because they “needed a change of scenery”. you can’t you blamed them, already preferring the warm, balmy air and sunny skies compared to the ever present grayness of your city. when you say you ran into jj on the beach, you quite literally ran into him. or he ran into you. whatever he was doing he was clearly in a rush but he cam to a halt once he saw who he ran into.

“jesus christ sweetheart im so sorry, swear my feet move faster than my head sometimes.” he dropped to his knees to help you scoop up the spilled contents of your bag, “ya know now i think about it, i never seen you before and trust me i know everybody. you new here?” he stands to his full height and helps you up, you’d be lying if you said he wasnt cute. his shaggy blonde hair, blue eyes and dimples smile hit you right in the gut.

“um yea!” that was way too enthusiastic, you clear your throat, “yea me and my parents just moved here a few days ago.”

“oh shit well welcome to the obx sweetheart, paridise on earth ’s what we like to call it. i’m jj, i’ll be your official tour guide, how’s that sound?”

god you hope you don’t seem too excited when you say yes.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

you and jj spend the whole day together, he introduces you to his friends, the “pogues” is what he called them and it left you confused.

“why would you call yourself pogues? it doesnt sound very nice.” your face is screwed up as he drives you back to your home, it’s dawning on him that that he may have just saved a sweet kitten like you from the lion’s den.

“it just is what it is, people like us dont exactly have a pool house.” he pointedly nods at the massive building behind your main house, “besides, im just happen to give you a real warm welcome, not everyone’s as nice as we are.” he can tell youre still confused. “kooks sweetheart, the upper crust in figure 8– thas technically what you are, with the pool house and all.”

“oh…but that doesnt mean we cant hang out does it?”

“oh fuck no are you kiddin me? just means we have to hang out more so you dont get corrupter by anyone other than me.” he teases. “just let me know what youre doin tomorrow aight? ill come pick you up”

this time you cant contain yourself and you give him a kiss on the cheek, yelling “bye jj!” as you run up your driveway, too giddy to look back.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

unfortunately the next day, you dont get to see jj. instead your stuck on the golf course with your dad as he schmoozes with a man named ward cameron.

you dont pay much attention to what theyre talking about, instead choosing to listen to music and daydream about what you’d rather be doing.

“ah there’s my son! a whole half hour late just as i expected, glad to see you could join us rafe.” ward’s mention of his son just made you huff and roll your eyes, you could only handle so many bratty kooks— you were starting to see what jj was talking about.

“it’s nice to meet you son, this is my daughter.” you lift your head prepared to plaster another fake smile on your face when your freeze.

you weren’t expecting rafe to be so hot. and i guess he wasn’t expecting you to be either.

dumbly, you reach out to shake his hand, “nice to meet you rafe.”

before he can respond, ward speaks out, “hey rafe, why dont you take her to that party you were talkin about later?”

#✨.txt #jj x reader x rafe prompt

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bitchesgetriches · 2 months

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{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Investing for Beginners

Fundamentals of investing:

What’s the REAL Rate of Return on the Stock Market?

Do NOT Make This Disastrous Beginner Mistake With Your Retirement Funds

The Dark Magic of Financial Horcruxes: How and Why to Diversify Your Assets

Dafuq Is Interest? And How Does It Work for the Forces of Darkness?

Booms, Busts, Bubbles, and Beanie Babies: How Economic Cycles Work

When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation

Investing Deathmatch series:

Investing Deathmatch: Managed Funds vs. Index Funds

Investing Deathmatch: Traditional IRA vs. Roth IRA

Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not

Investing Deathmatch: Stocks vs. Bonds

Investing Deathmatch: Timing the Market vs. Time IN the Market

Investing Deathmatch: Paying off Debt vs. Investing in the Stock Market

Investing Deathmatch: What Happens in a Bull Market vs. a Bear Market

Start saving small with Acorns

Alternative investments:

Small Business Investing: A Kinder, Gentler Alternative to the Stock Market

Bullshit Reasons Not to Buy a House: Refuted

Investing in Cryptocurrency is Bad and Stupid

So I Got Chickens, Part 1: Return on Investment

Twelve Reasons Senior Pets Are an Awesome Investment

How To Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year

Understanding the stock market:

Ask the Bitches Pandemic Lightning Round: “Did Congress Really Give $1.5 Trillion to Wall Street?”

Season 3, Episode 2: “I Inherited Money. Should I Pay Off Debt, Invest It, or Blow It All on a Car?”

Money Is Fake and GameStop Is King: What Happened When Reddit and a Meme Stock Tanked Hedge Funds

Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?”

Wait… Did I Just Lose All My Money Investing in the Stock Market?

Season 4, Episode 1: “Index Funds Include Unethical Companies. Can I Still Invest in Them, or Does That Make Me a Monster?”

Retirement plans:

Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?

Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over

How to Painlessly Run the Gauntlet of a 401k Rollover

Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?”

Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment

You Need to Talk to Your Parents About Their Retirement Plan

Season 4, Episode 5: “401(k)s Aren’t Offered in My Industry. How Do I Save for Retirement if My Employer Won’t Help?”

Roll over your retirement fund with Capitalize

Recessions:

Season 1, Episode 12: “Should I Believe the Fear-Mongering about Another Recession?”

There’s a Storm a’Comin’: What We Know About the Next Recession

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Prepare for a Recession?

A Brief History of the 2008 Crash and Recession: We Were All So Fucked

Ask the Bitches Pandemic Lightning Round: “Is This the Right Time To Start Investing?”

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