my friend who is a system thinks i might also be a system because i’ve been showing some symptoms. i don’t experience amnesia, nor do i forget important details about myself. i only forget small stuff, like day-to-day chores, meals i ate, and conversations i’ve had
my friend said they think i have it because i’ve mentioned dissociating a lot and i seem to have a blurred sense of identity (i’ve been struggling with my gender and sexuality for years. i’ve thought that i might be genderfluid or abrosexual but neither of those labels feel right to me)
i brought it up to my therapist, and my mom had me do a check up with a psychiatrist. both of them said i probably don’t have it, and my therapist said i’m young so obviously i’m going to be questioning my identity
but i feel like i might have it. i think i’ve had alters front before, and i think i have a few? i don’t know. i don’t if i’m making all of this up for attention or if i’m just crazy
first of all (/lh) if those are experiences you have had, you arent making it up! your experiences are valid whether or not they connect to being plural or being a singlet
long post below!
(for some reason i didnt write this in order of the topics you brought up)
(also all this is /nm and /npa! i apologize if the way i word things comes across a little aggressive, i struggle with sounding serious but not mad sometimes)
but onto the main topic, i do agree that it is very common for teens (ik you just said you are young, im assuming, but also talking generally /nm /lh) to question their identity a lot! its part of growing up, figuring yourself out. our core, Mouse, went through many, many sexuality/orientation labels before settling on aroace. those werent a part of our systemhood btw, those were just part of Mouse's self discovery. a struggle with labels can definitely be a sign of being plural but also it can be part of the identity stuggle that a majority of teens face.
about the amnesia and forgetting things. amnesia isnt a need for being plural. having trouble remembering things is a part of being plural but it also is a part of being a singlet. there is a normal amount of short term memory loss for people but it can get to a point where there is a reason for it or something that is causing it. we have a friend with autism and adhd who experiences more short term memory loss that is considered normal. with plurals, there are many different ways memory is handled. it can go from headmates having their own individual memory all the way to memory being a thing all headmates can access. most of our memory is accessible but there are a couple things that only a few of us remember (we dont know what it is due to those remembering it purposely not telling us). we also can experience forgetfulness when we switch but it is usually only small things. so to sum that all up, amnesia isnt a plural requirement and forgetting smaller things may or may not be a sign of being plural.
dissociating is definitely a bigger thing than the last two topics. if you dissociate a lot then that is something that i would recommend looking into and bringing up with your therapist if you havent. people can dissociate a few times in their life without it being a result of something but it happening a lot is a sign of a reason being behind it. dissociation is a part of plurality (not required) but there are also dissociative disorders that arent DID or OSDD (though non disordered plurals can still dissociate.). i am not at all trying to say you have a dissociative disorder, i have no place to say that, but i do recommend talking to your therapist more about it and looking into stuff about it yourself!
and finally, if you think you have had alters front before then definitely keep researching stuff about plurality! try to pay more attention to when you remember things vs when you dont, your mindsets/personalities, and try to see if you can call out to anyone in your head to see if they will straight up respond! if you do feel like anyone is there but they are still vague, try to give them a name and refer to them as a separate person than you. that can help with clarity and communication. (all /nf)
overall, with the experiences you have talked about, there are definitely other things that can be the cause but that is the case with most mental divergencies. the fact that there can be other reasons doesnt mean that it is definitely not plurality. if you are more confident that it might be plurality i do think you should continue to learn about it! unfortunately i cant give you a yes or no about being plural, that is something you are going to have to figure out yourself /lh
absolutely feel free to continue to ask questions if you continue looking into plurality though!
Some helpful resources from @/the-plural-archive
7 notes
·
View notes
[squeezes you like cat squeaky toy] tell us. spill how the parents function, funny man /lh
hehe I am the funny man. Now to ramble abt a thing I briefly mentioned on discord
Ok so Robert's parents are. absolutely different people. I do not mean in parenting styles, for the most part Adeline and Harvey were actually incredibly similar when it came to the upbringing of the first 3 children [Robert's brothers Terry, Bradley, and Felix]
It was after the triplets [Robert, Paul, and Donavan] were born that things changed and that was. solely because of Robert. It was hard to notice at first, because the three were so young at the time, but as the triplets got older it was clear Robert was different.
he displayed behaviors that would be considered bizarre by many but his mother, Adeline, took it as a sign of advanced intellect. Whether or not this was properly proven is unknown.
In short, while she and Harvey [the childrens father] tended to the last 2 children [William and Talecia], as well as parenting the eldest 5, Robert's intelligence was. exploited in a sense. Adeline would take him to doctors and college professors and they would examine him and see what was going on in his mind. She actually sold the rights to what he knew for a hefty amount of money and went to a lot of fancy dinner parties to discuss Robert and his unique brain.
Adeline slowly ceased to focus on Robert, as she felt he was smart enough to care for himself and even his brothers+sister. She properly parented the other 7 with Harvey.
None of the other children were treated this way. They all displayed similar psychological characteristics to Roberts, but werent deemed as intelligent as Robert, according to Adeline.
Harvey tried his best to treat Robert like a person rather than a computer, a piece of meat used only for the knowledge it had accrued over the years.
He tried in vain. Robert ended up being the absolute worst thing to happen to the Charleston bloodline. Nearly sadistic, even.
Now you might be thinking "hey you said the parents were different. different how??" and different as in Adeline exploited and exposed her sons intelligence to make her social circle skyrocket into the air. She became powerful due to her sons brain. Scarred him mentally, threatened him often, and forced away his sense of humanity, but it didn't matter. She was popular.
Harvey disliked this about Adeline. Had things been different, however, Admin wouldve never happened. Robert's sense of right and wrong, his ability to feel empathy, everything was stripped of his mind after a particular incident with Adeline.
He is supposed to take medications so he can at least regulate his anger. Adeline told him not to as it would alter his mind for the worst. Harvey no longer had a say. His son was gone and he only had this shell to prove he existed at one point.
Robert is a bad person. Psychologically disturbed and incapable of doing the right thing, mainly due to the abusive actions done by these higher up scientists and professors, but still a bad person. One who refuses help, which ultimately led him to his demise after the one thing he created with a heart and mind turned against him.
TL;DR: Adeline and Harvey Charleston had 8 children. One of them was very smart and Adeline took advantage of that. Harvey did not want to take advantage of that, but ultimately had no say and he took care of the other seven kids. Robert is a complete shell of what he couldve been, and in an indirect sense Adeline is the reason Admin killed Robert.
2 notes
·
View notes
Discord pt 97
[Date: 19/03, 05:26 AM GMT - 19/03, 06:01 AM GMT]
[CW: Gun mention]
Little-K1ng: “alright yall, just got home, did maxwell and marcus stop fighting?? i kinda dipped to head to work when they started up...
maxwell? marcus? you guys still up? ....is fetch home yet?”
Maxwell: “Uhhhh....”
Little-K1ng: “oh hi max !!”
Maxwell: “I’m up Marcus is asleep again and fetch got stuck
He said some guys started chasing him and threatened him so he ran and hid in a gas station....”
Little-K1ng: “OH NO
is he okay???
does he need picked up???? is that why he mentioned a gun earlier?????
where is he???????????”
Maxwell: “Yeah we checked he said he’s only got a couple scraps”
Little-K1ng: “oh good okay phew alright
ill catch my breath in a second, as long as hes alright”
Maxwell: “He only said he was at a gas station and the lady there helped him, they’re letting him stay the night...”
Little-K1ng: “letting him stay the night.... okay
good
hes got somewhere warm with food, thats nice”
Maxwell: “Uh...some stuff happened when you left...”
Little-K1ng: “that puts me at ease
oh?
i know you guys were fighting”
Maxwell: “It...might be best to wake up Marcus to help explain...”
Little-K1ng: “oh. okay i can. i can get him up”
Maxwell: “Oh yeah also one thing”
Little-K1ng: “?”
Maxwell: “Before you do it”
Little-K1ng: “yes?”
Maxwell: “Dont...don’t mind the flowers”
Little-K1ng: “th- hhhhhh
hhhuhhh,,,the uh
the flowers
uh
is that
what i think
you mean”
Maxwell: “Yeeeeeah.....”
Little-K1ng: “o-ookay, , ,, ill uh. ill keep calm about it
i wont make a fuss i wont worry him about it
marcus? hey? wake up buddy
Marcus. hey”
Maxwell: “Wake up shithead /lh”
Marcus: “...huh?”
Little-K1ng: “hey wake up, im home”
Marcus: “oh, welcome h..ome”
Little-K1ng: “hey marcus..... morning haha... at uh. the middle of the night
heard theres some stuff you guys wanted to talk about?”
Maxwell: “You doing okay man? You feel asleep not long after....she left”
Marcus: “..wha..?
oh
..oh”
Little-K1ng: “after i left? wow you werent up for long”
Maxwell: “....I’ll get the ice water it’ll wake em up”
Marcus: “no nonono I’m awake”
[Little-K1ng: “after i left? wow you werent up for long”]
Maxwell: “No no...not you”
Little-K1ng: “n..not me?”
Maxwell: “Uh baroness literally walked into the house”
Marcus: “....
..yeah”
Little-K1ng: “shheeeeee WHAt”
Marcus: “ow”
Little-K1ng: “sorry”
Marcus: “Loud noises, just woke up
mona please”
Maxwell: “me and marcus were talking after we made up and she just walked in”
Little-K1ng: “why would she....”
Marcus: “.....to talk to us
About uhh
Taking care of the flowers? Or something”
Maxwell: “yeah cause we cut mine”
Little-K1ng: “ah, to comment on the uh..
yeah those
hm”
Maxwell: “yeah....also she kept calling us viscount and page”
Marcus: “...”
Little-K1ng: “oh, of course. she sees you as family
and targets”
Maxwell: “I threatened to bite her
and punch her”
Little-K1ng: “oh nice one !!
...dont actually though”
Maxwell: “i didnt...”
Marcus: “..you definitely wanted to”
Little-K1ng: “so uh.... how did that fight sort out between you two? what was it about?”
Maxwell: “but uh marcus started blooming during our argument...before baroness came in and after you left”
Marcus: “........”
Little-K1ng: “if... if you dont mind me asking
oh no”
[Maxwell: “but uh marcus started blooming during our argument...before baroness came in and after you left”]
Little-K1ng: “max, you saw it?”
Marcus: “i-it’s fine Mona”
Little-K1ng: “marcus, are you okay? do you need anything to numb it?”
Marcus: “It doesn’t even hurt”
Little-K1ng: “it-... it doesnt hurt?”
Marcus: “I honestly didn’t know it happened until Max...”
Little-K1ng: “dont lie to me”
Marcus: “I’m not! I wouldn’t!”
Maxwell: “thats the thing, even baroness said it shouldn't hurt”
Little-K1ng: “i really dont want you to lie to me, marcus. i dont know if i could handle that
she said that?”
Maxwell: “or rather it wouldn't hurt if we accepted it....”
Marcus: “...”
Little-K1ng: “she of all people, ha
if it
oh
oh”
Marcus: “.....”
Little-K1ng: “oh... oh marcus..”
Maxwell: “it would make sense....as to why it hurts me and fetch so much and why...it didnt hurt marcus...”
Marcus: “...I don’t like being sad”
Little-K1ng: “i understand, marcus. i dont begrudge you”
Maxwell: “yeah we....talked and uh cried...a lot, there were many tears”
Marcus: “...thanks Mona”
Little-K1ng: “oh no...... do you feel better?
crying helps
i..... i dont know what to say...
all that.... because she just.... walked in, huh”
Marcus: “We”
Maxwell: “it was before she came in”
Marcus: “We were fighting before she got here”
Maxwell: “after you left
she came in once we stopped crying”
Little-K1ng: “oh i know, i left when it started i just......i didnt think she would just... i... uh.. nevermind”
Marcus: “We made up before she got here”
[Little-K1ng: “oh i know, i left when it started i just......i didnt think she would just... i... uh.. nevermind”]
Marcus: “..huh?
Little-K1ng: “well i just...
i.... i thought about...
i dont know how to put this”
Marcus: “..Mona
Spit it out”
Maxwell: “marcus....”
Marcus: “What?”
Little-K1ng: “i uh..... knew she kind of would........ do something like that?? in... a way?? i suppose i.... i..”
Marcus: “She’s keeping something from us!
You what”
Little-K1ng: “i had... i had a feeling
but i!! look, i...”
Maxwell: “yo calm down marcus!”
Little-K1ng: “i thought she would at least be subtle”
Marcus: “I am calm”
Maxwell: “no you aint”
Marcus: “Mona”
Little-K1ng: “yknow, prowling around in the night going through my sock drawer or something.... not like.... not like that”
Marcus: “You left max vulnerable to her
at night??”
Maxwell: “it's not your fault mona”
Little-K1ng: “look. i!!! i just !!!”
Maxwell: “Marcus”
Marcus: “Did you leave the door unlocked overnight?”
Little-K1ng: “no i...!! i just... i
i didnt want... i”
Maxwell: “if she did it was for fetch!”
Marcus: “he knows how to knock”
[Maxwell: “if she did it was for fetch!”]
Little-K1ng: “hhh... y hhyeah .. ..”
[Marcus: “he knows how to knock”]
Maxwell: “not f we're all asleep
Little-K1ng: “i was.... hhh.. i was worried if he.. if he came home late,, and i didnt hear him,,”
Marcus: “He can knock loudly”
Little-K1ng: “he wouldnt come back
i didnt think ...”
Maxwell: “actually dont think i havent noticed you havent been sleeping at night marcus
everytime i wake up youre awake”
Marcus: “....”
Maxwell: “i go to sleep you're awake
I WAKE UP FROM A NIGHTMARE AND YOU'RE AWAKE”
Little-K1ng: “but.... hes not? hes always asleep when i see him...”
Maxwell: “during the day
you dont sleep at night do you....”
Marcus: “...no, I don’t
Mona
If you thought I was asleep at night
You left the door unlocked knowing that Crown and Baroness were staking us out”
Little-K1ng: “i........
Marcus: “with no one to stop them
...to your knowledge”
Little-K1ng: “i... i didnt think....”
Marcus: “I can see that”
Little-K1ng: “i just thought she would........ do what she was just... already... already doing.....
she was already finding her way in....... snooping through my important stashes...
i really... i rr ea lll y... didnt t hhi nk it wouldd have.e..
been that .... big of a dde a l”
Maxwell: “marcus it isn't her fucking fault”
Marcus: “....no nonono Mona wait no
No nonono please don’t cry
I didn’t
I’m sorry”
Little-K1ng: “i caan nt... i can t beliv e... it wwa ss my f a u lt....”
Maxwell: “....oh no....”
Marcus: “no Mona no”
Little-K1ng: “no no non ono non o no you're right you're right you're right”
Maxwell: “no no no mona hes not”
Marcus: “No I’m wrong Mona I’m wrong
mona please”
Little-K1ng: “it was my fault it was all my fault i ll e f t the ufck ing DOOR UNLOCKED what was i THINKING
I DID IT ON PURPOSE OH MY GOD.....”
Marcus: “-!
Maxwell: “It's not your fault”
Marcus: “mona Im so sorry I didn’t mean it I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry”
Little-K1ng: “no i did i didnt even give it a second thought i-... i knew she would come in, i could even see her outside watching me leave it unlocked
i just.... didnt care. i forgot to care”
Marcus: “I was just upsetthisiswhyihatenegativeemotionsalltheyeverdoishurtpeople”
Little-K1ng: “i fucking DIDNT CARE im so sorry....
i ,.....”
Marcus: “mona Im sorry”
Little-K1ng: “no... i ..... marcus.... your laurel.. would it have... would it have sprouted if i hadnt...?”
Marcus: “...it would have”
Little-K1ng: “i left you two alone in the middle of a fight.... and did nothing”
Marcus: “It didn’t sprout because of Baroness
Mona im so sorry”
Little-K1ng: “i left you two unguarded all night........ and didnt care
no no dont apologize i did this i did it on my own im just....”
Marcus: “we were guarded Mona it’s okay”
Little-K1ng: “you WERENT”
Marcus: “I stay up all night
....I guess
I guess I’m not the best guard though, all things considered”
Little-K1ng: “i didnt know that!!!! i was FULLY PREPARED to leave you both to THE COURT”
Maxwell: “humans arent supposed to be nocturnal”
Marcus: “Heh”
Little-K1ng: “for fuckin DOGBOY TANTRUM ASS
and....[hic] and.... the worst paart??”
Maxwell: “you were worried about fetch i honestly would have done the same”
Little-K1ng: “i.... im not ss oorry .. i dont ffe el like i dd id anytyhing wr ong”
Marcus: “You didnt do anything wrong
I’m so sorry for implying otherwise”
Little-K1ng: “i DID. dont LIE TO ME MARCUS.
but!!! i just!!!!”
Marcus: “I-”
Little-K1ng: “i would do it again. with no hesitation
Marcus: “.....im not lying....”
Little-K1ng: “i was planning to do it again TONIGHT marcus!!!”
Marcus: “..im sorry”
Maxwell: “look some times people do bad things I've done bad shit”
Marcus: “I promise I’m not lying please im sorry”
[Maxwell: “look some times people do bad things I've done bad shit”]
Little-K1ng: “MAXWELL. WHERE AM I RIGHT NOW
IM HERE. AT HOME. IM NOT CURRENT;LY DRIVING TO THE GAS STATION. TO PICK UP FETCH
THE GUY I LEFT YOU TO DIE FOR”
Maxwell: “he wouldnt want you to”
Marcus: “you didn’t leave us to die”
Maxwell: “we can defend ourselves”
Marcus: “...”
Little-K1ng: “the way i know you? the way i know the court? you may as well be dead when you're them”
Marcus: “..oh
...I see”
Little-K1ng: “i have until tomorrow with you and i dont even have the honest guarantee that ill be left here to grieve, or forced to join you”
Marcus: “...”
Little-K1ng: “....whats that face for?”
Marcus: “...I’m sorry that my preferred self isn’t good enough for you”
Maxwell: “god how i wish marigolds could help mental wounds”
Little-K1ng: “..........i........
.....marcus...
wait... i...
what... am i doing?
why am i yelling?
i dont do that
i just... im so used to running away from my problems. why am i so angry?
who am i even angry at?
its not even you. its not even me, i dont really feel bad
im not mad at fetch, im rarely mad at crown
what the fuck”
Marcus: “...”
1 note
·
View note