You deserve a calm love with someone who sees you, hears you, understands you, appreciates you, supports you, and loves you. Someone who makes you feel safe in their energy and brings you peace, commitment, and consistency. A love that never hurts—it heals.

Never thought of being a writer until I met you.

Never thought of creating poetry until I met you.

Never understood meaning of poetry until I met you.

Never knew poetry could be this beautiful, cruel, fierce

....And heart wrenching at the same time until I met you.

Never understood why do people became poets until I met you.

Never understood why do poets talk about love so much

as if that's the most sacred thing in this world until I met you.

Now poetry is starting to make sense because of you,

....glad that I met you, my poetry. -Om.

To see the soul is not effortless nor painless

It is hard work

It is to see a glimpse of God

How wonderful, then!

To know the soul so deeply you can disregard the body

To live truthfully and live well

That I may transform the body 

To celebrate the soul

Lately, time seems to slip through my fingers Like water. Every day feels like a race I can never quite win, leaving me too tired to even think about what would truly make me happy.It's like I'm just going through the motions, following some invisible script, wondering if life itself is scripted too.

But then, there are those moments. Those rare, unexpected moments that break through the monotony. Like the warmth of laughter after a few drinks with friends, or the comfort of waking up next to the one you love. It's those little things, the simple joys that remind me why I keep going.

In those moments, I catch a glimpse of what life could be. Not just a mechanical march from one day to the next, but a beautiful, messy, unpredictable journey. And in those moments, I find a glimmer of hope. Maybe you do too.

GUYS. GUYS. 😭😭 Chongyun and Diona development, holy shit. Groundwork laid for more exploration of Chongyun's pure-yang spirit at some point, but anyway AAAA- he's finally becoming more appreciative of his condition, seeing it less as a curse, and perhaps a blessing, because of the possibility it was borne from love. His intense emotions, his ability to be the warmth in spiritual shadows, he's grateful at the idea that it's all borne from love, man. I'm. So normal right now. That was so beautiful. The music in that cutscene gave me chills.

Killing myself was a matter of such indifference to me that I felt like waiting for a moment when it would make some difference. Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -- the apathy of human beings.

-Fyodor Dostevsky

spoiler alert: things don't go well.

La morte è la curva della strada, morire è solo non essere visto. Se ascolto, sento i tuoi passi esistere come io esisto. La terra è fatta di cielo. Non ha nido la menzogna. Mai nessuno s’è smarrito. Tutto è verità e cammino.

Fernando Pessoa

via - rainbowsalt

Jakdi hui hai in mein meri saari kainaat

Jo dekhne mein narm hai teri kalaaiyyan.

-Ahmad Nadeem Qasim

— And I am disheartened; my past's confused piled up memories, no way to disentangle them, irritated; some day, to the tangibility of my head's burdens I will entrust my body, I will entrust my heart.

Nakahara Chūya, Fig Leaves

How free it is, you have no idea how free…

I have never been so pure. I didn’t want any flowers, I only wanted To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty. How free it is, you have no idea how free—— The peacefulness is so big it dazes you, And it asks nothing…

🌿 Sylvia Plath, Tulips

.

That's why I like you so much.Your heart isn't dead.

-Albert Camus,The Just Assassins

I am both confused and curious , depending on the endings ,do you see engineer and darkiplier become a couple sort of ? Or is it complicated ? Since engineer is either actor or the true engineer guy

That's a really good question. And I'm glad to answer it early on rather than later, because I've actually thought about Darkhenge being read that way ahaha, and it's not exactly my intention, but I'll get deeper into that because it's more nuanced

Short answer:

I'd be fine if people see it as anything, honestly. My AU isn't fleshed out to the point where it's entirely removed from the source, and the nature of the source is... you can project onto it! Canon Captain and Head Engineer are depicted as a friendship, but people can easily ship them if they want to. So that's how I feel about my AU as well- except it's much different in genre of ""romance"" or ""friendship"" LOL (due to Dark HATING Mark- But that's the catch- this isn't the "same" Mark!)

Long answer:

I'll get into exactly what I think Darkhenge to be. First, before getting into it: The AU name Darkhenge is structured as a ship name, but I don't really ship within the binary of romantic nor platonic, it is just a duo/pairing system to me pretty much. ISWM is a story that goes heavy on the platonic emotions, and tends to be unconventional/bizarre in ways, in the storytelling, characters, etc. Such bizarre things as killing your friend or having your friend try to kill you or seeing your friend as hundreds of different people. It's fun. I think I held onto that aspect more than a concept of a standard relationship. I guess I happen to be unconventional in my tastes.

Now, I will dig into Darkhenge as I conceptualize it. It's kind of making me nervous to finally put an official description of it out O__O" alongside my art of it! I've talked about it a lot privately but never spilled the beans on what it IS...? (a little excited)

Dark is put into a compromising situation, though not like he isn't used to that, and he has to fend to secure his position of power. So, it is fortunate that he's a Captain with Mark as a self-sacrificial subordinate. That's Dark's comfort zone, to have control. But, (to have (Actor) Mark as his friend,) it's not his normal. But for us, The Viewer, it is. So that creates a dichotomy internally that Darkiplier has to account for. ... Darkiplier doesn't typically share the emotions that The Viewer does, and if he did, I think he has a fair chance of it not getting in his way, since he's always repressing conflicting emotions anyways. But that depends. If Darkiplier "wins the game" like I explained in my previous post... He witnesses the story of ISWM. This might not influence him- as explained! Why would it? But there is some more weight to the experience for him, regardless. It's something he would think about for at least a moment, maybe yet another thing that weighs him down forever, even if it doesn't subtract from everything he has going on canonically. (The whole revenge and hate thing) ... So finally, the weight in question: Head Engineer, in my AU, is Actor Mark, but not exactly- his character is modified in this story specifically, just like how The Viewer/Darkiplier is modified to have fused for the duration of ISWM in my AU, and then would split after they finally resolve the paradox; so everything canonical still applies in the overarching universe & stories. Head Engineer is an Actor Mark who, unlike the other Marks, hasn't just deluded himself into "believing the story he acts out..." or wanting something in the House... -- he's literally a different Mark. That's how it was written canonically, and I'm reading it this way for fun: He's Actor Mark, but an AU version. I know Actor Mark transcends the AU logic like Warfstache, but before Mark was an Actor he was Mark- and that's the idea. Maybe you get it, maybe you don't... so here's a list:

Damien and Mark were good friends, until Mark was taken by his ego and the influence of the House.

The Viewer and Mark have a deep friendship.

The Captain and Head Engineer are on good grounds to have a close friendship as well, thanks to whatever circumstances of their respective characters preceded the story of ISWM.

Darkiplier hates Actor Mark, and his hate is hinged entirely upon what Actor Mark did in WKM, via influence of the House.

The Head Engineer is Actor Mark, except before he would do any of that in WKM.

The Head Engineer is Actor Mark before he became Actor Mark, so just Mark- except an AU version: he's evidently a space engineer instead, with a humbled ego and no awakened desire to act. Yes, Head Engineer does have a smaller ego than Mark had, I imagine Mark was a bit egotistical and theatric even as a kid. Head Engineer is Mark if he turned out different. "I could've been an engineer..." haha And this can be circumstantial or "genetic" - but I like to think it's mostly circumstantial, because I still see the other Marks' traits (including Actor) in Head Engineer's character, especially with how carried away Head Engineer can get about the warp core. It's the same phenomenon of the house. And I know that's just the House, but I like to think that there's a theme shared between Actor and Engie that they're both the type to get carried away with a creative vision or incentive of investigation and revenge... (Kind of like Abe and Dark, which is why I see that it can be just the House's global influence) ... It's a hc of mine that I find enriching to the AU Engie's character.

So, to Dark, other than any potential heartstrings it could tug on his very dead and perhaps nonexistent heart, this is a surprisingly uncomfortable situation. But The Viewer makes it more tolerable by eventually resolving the situation, regardless of how much Dark might have wanted to fight those routes, or how many mistakes each of them made to get bad endings. If the Captain and Head Engineer never made up, the story would likely never end- because, well, we tried every other route, and it didn't really end there... So, The Viewer is essential. Mending the friendship is essential. If Dark has any heartstrings pulled, it's probably Damien's... but I think this Dark is rather muddy in his "original" identity by now (plus the addition of the D/A as The Viewer... Damien isn't even getting the chance to talk to the D/A in headspace, I feel like ISWM feels super fast for them all, barely conscious), so it'd be vague and buried. I like the hc that Dark and Warfstache both forget, but Dark remembers a bit more, and he's sentimental, but very reserved about it and would only stop repressing it only around people he trusted. That's a complicated thing, and I think ISWM is not about resolving Dark, but is about resolving the story and nothing else. But you could argue otherwise if you wanted to. Maybe part of him could have been happy.

A silly analogy would be taking a criminal to a class meant for teaching toddlers to play nice, and not letting them argue with the teaching, just teaching them the lesson until they submit and actually succeed to be nice. Then the criminal is let free from the class to do whatever he wants, again. The memory of it might be uncomfortable... or maybe irrelevant, because it could be happening all the time! Maybe this isn't Darkiplier's first rodeo in the multiverse, nor the last. ... I like to think that he explores, since everyone technically can within the illusory world in the House/Mansion. Stuck but free all the same.

Ah... I like to think how ironic it would be if Darkiplier had to go to this universe & possess this body of all possibilities just to get the warp core... It's funny.

The most important aspects of the dynamic to me is the duality of comedy and horror/tragedy, and the anomalous third act is the profound sappiness in the original media that would not at all fit Actor and Dark's dynamic- it's the contrast and impossibility that I love about the situation.

If I had to romanticize them, I think it could be done nonromantically, for the record. I, myself, am not traditional with the genre of romance. I guess I fit into the grey area, and that influences how I think of Darkhenge, as well. I also think the word "romantic" doesn't necessarily have to mean dating, since you can romanticize pretty much anything in life. And I think this AU is a pretty good example of how I can romanticize things! A lot of fiction is a kind of romanticization, but the romanticization doesn't usually indicate what you would feel about it if it happened in real life. So yeah, I think I do a lot of that... A lot of media I read can have villains or dark themes that I will play around with conceptually, knowing that if they were real, I'd hate them. Lol.

I like love stories that go like this. I mentioned Madoka briefly before, and that's honestly my top inspiration to even my own surprise because it nails the nuance perfectly- it's commended as a great Yuri but it's not actually a Yuri, it's just written so well around those two characters that it can be commended as a great story with Yuri characters/undertones in it.

So yes, I like stories like this, and they tend to be best written as love stories... but they don't necessarily have to be love stories. They can just be tragedies... but I think love is an important element when writing about the bigness of life. Whatever form that love might take. So whether it's platonic, romantic, or neither, is none of my concern nor consideration, because it's about something more nuanced, bigger... Everything and nothing is taken into account at once, if that makes sense.

Even some of my Darkhenge art ideas (that haven't yet come to fruition) seem a bit romantic, it's just a grey area. I think I am in love with the AU itself, and that's why... I hope it makes sense why I am in love with it- if not, I'll just keep trying to show why...!!!! ( •̀ ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧

Well, I think I have explained it properly...? Feel free to ask more questions, though. I'm a little sleepy while typing all of this, so I could have missed something.

For the record! If someone shipped my AU characters romantically, I would likely be fine with their headcanons/interpretation, but I encourage them to ask about boundaries if they plan to post about it.

Thank you so much for the question!!! I'm glad someone thought to ask it. :)