#Twilight Parody
Text
"you can't isolate, ignore, ibuprofen your way out of this one, MC"
#crumbs#make of this what u will#it certainly has nothing to do with april first#team avia#take a wild guess what we're doing next#mhd#indie games#visual novel#dating sim#vampires#lgbt#the sapphics are back#meme#artists on tumblr#twilight parody#promo ❤️
334 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Heard of Dawn?" Grrakil asked her coworker. "My daughter is reading it and loving it."
"Oh yeah", Buuuurv'a answered. "It's about that femalien who falls into a love triangle between a Lyk'ant'rop and a Human?"
Grrakil raised one of her three eyebrows.
"Wait a minute, what do you mean, a Human? I thought it was a romance, not a horror story?"
"Yeah, we're not in the same litterature we had when we were young, Grrakil. Now Humans are no longer used as monsters, or not entirely. Apparently, a lot of younglings think it's very attractive to be dangerous, resilient to most poisons, able to fight even with a limb cut off, etc."
Grrakil shivered.
"Oh my gosh I remember my encounter with a human" she says. "I'm not supposed to talk about it y'know, military secret and all... but it was terrifying. How do I prevent my daughter from romanticizing blood-thirsty, predator-evolved species?"
Buuuurv'a didn't answer. She didn't have an answer. She had met humans too, although not in a war like Grrakil, she had been an attache at one of the few embassies before the Great War which had diluted them all. She had heard of stories. The humans themselves were romanticizing even more blood-thirsty, predator-evolved species. Apparently there were monster-fuckers everywhere.
#twilight parody#twilight#humans are space orcs#i'll give you one better#humans are space vampires#fast metabolism#can take a lot of damage#go for the head or the heart if you want to take them down for good#predator species
708 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey, if anyone wants to read nightlight, the twilight parody, alongside me...here's a free pdf :)
@when-wax-wings-melt @dizzeners
#nightlight harvard lampoon#twilight parody#the twilight saga#the twilight renaissance#there's also a scanned version available for checkout on the internet archive :)
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I just found an old Divine Comedy sketch with most of the OG Studio C cast playing the characters and I feel obligated to share it
youtube
Yes. And this is SUCH classic Studio C humor and I LOVE IT. Even if I haven't seen Twilight LOL, although I definitely know enough to get the jokes qjdjjwjwjd
My personal fav parts:
Stacey opening with the explanation that this is an "edited" version of Twilight to "protect your eyes and ears" or something like that from things like vampire gore, disturbing images, and excessive male native American toplessness HAHAHAHAHA
Matt playing Jacob, Stephen playing Edward and Mal playing Bella
The majority of Matt's parts having him take off his shirt
and Stacey immediately censoring his bare chest
and Matt carrying multiple shirts in his pockets HAHAHAHA
also Stephen also taking off his shirt at least twice in an attempt to establish dominance over Matt
and also being censored
oh yeah and Stephen accidentally unplugging his mic after taking off his shirt HAHHAHA (and the fact u can hear them fixing it while the next scene happens LOL)
Matt taking off his shirt and throwing it at a man in the crowd, him realizing the man doesn't want it while James WINKS AT THE MAN. And Whitney saying "I'll take it" really flirtatiously HAHAHAHA, while Matt just says, "shouldn't have thrown it to a man" LOL
Mal having a bald cap and a unibrow and the strangest pregnant belly I have ever seen
Matt to Mal: You don't deserve this *puts shirt back on* HAHAHAHAH
The bald cap falling off when she falls and Stephen's eyes widening in panic and Matt hurrying to put it back on her and Mallory masking her laughing by saying "I'm not CRYING I'm LAUGHING"
Jason basically calling Matt hot while voicing the baby in the stomach
Stephen being the only one who can hear said baby HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
and this entire exchange:
Stephen: Stay away from my freaky baby, Jacob!
Jason SINGING about Matt: tAke mY BreAth aWAaaAaAAAaYy
Stephen: SHUT UP BABY
Matt: *trying not to break character*
James forgetting his medical lines and just simply announcing I'M A DOCTOR
Matt screaming "BELLA FOCUS ON MY ABS"
JASON AT THE END AS THE BABY WITH THESE RIDICULOUS EYES AND HIM JUST REACHING OUT TOWARDS MATT WITH A LOVESICK EXPRESSION. AND STEPHEN ACTING ANNOYED AND PUTTING HIS ARMS DOWN. AND THE SKETCH ENDING WITH MATT SAYING TO MAL "I'm in love with your baby" HWJDJWJDJWJDJS
Random out of context screenshots cause I can:
AND LASTLY, the scene I screen recorded because I might as well before I delete it from my phone LOL
ANYWAY THAT'S ALL HAHAHAHA YOU CAN TELL I CLEARLY ENJOYED THIS SKETCH VERY MUCH
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
LOTR Secret Santa 2023
Written in 2023 but revealed now, I am counting this as a 2024 event! LOL
So, here are my contributions:
❄️All day I had the feeling a miracle would happen... for @cilil (3.5 k - T - Námo x Vairë, Námo & Irmo & Nienna - How Irmo came to change the world and inspire everyone around him)
❄️Geriatric Gas Giant for @cilil (2.825 k - M - Eönwë x Gothmog, Eönwë & Manwë - A Twilight parody, an abomination, a testament to my stupidity!)
❄️And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? for @melkors-big-tits (4.580k - E - Melkor x Oromë, Melkor x Tulkas, Melkor x Manwë - Noncon, violence, Dead Dove, not a nice fic. Be advised!)
❄️Spinning for @elentarial (4k - M - Turgon x Curufin, Turgon x Caranthir - two stories because I didn't like the first one, spin the bottle, ghost AU)
❄️ Sharing is caring for @kilegriel (1.3 k - T - Haleth x Caranthir x Caranthir's wife - Haleth is invited to a dinner and makes the acquaintance of an unexpected guest)
So, once again, this ranges from very silly to rather dark. There are ludicrous crimes against canon and outright AUs...
I am true to myself :D
Lots of love! I hope you'll have fun with this! Take care of yourselves!
#og post#LOTR SeSa 2023#reveal delay#Masterlist#Secret Santa#LOTR Secret Santa#Námo#Irmo#Nienna#Eönwë#Gothmog#Twilight parody#Melkor#Oromë#Tulkas#dead dove do not eat#dark#Turgon#Curufin#Caranthir#Caranthir's wife#Haleth#Fanfiction#writing#IDNMT writes#jrrt#Tolkien fanfiction
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I've been rereading The Hunt and...
God, Avery is such a dumb ass
he's a werewolf ōwō
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
so where’s the crossover au’s for battinson/twilight where Bruce Wayne’s a vampire??
because that sounds hysterical.
#battison#battinson#bruce wayne#vampire au#twilight parody#batman#batman au#dc batman#robert pattinson#edward cullen
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
#twilight#new moon#eclipse#breaking dawn part 2#breaking dawn part 1#the twilight saga#twilight saga#twilight parody#vampires suck#bella swan#edward cullen#wednesday addams
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
"You are impossibly creepy and cringe…your skin is pale and sweaty…your eyes change colors in your mind…and you sometimes speak like you are from an anime"
"….."
"You only drink mountain dew and eat cheetos… you barely go out in the sunlight"
(Silence)
"How… how long have you been a brony…?
"Awhile…."
"I know what you are"
"Say it… out loud"
(Trembling)
"A incel neckbeard"
#twilight parody#twilight#neckbeard#idk#its late#its night#not trying to actually offend anyone#just a little parody joking#please dont come after me neckbeards#incel
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
i saw this at a thrift store-
you know i bought it :D
#it was like $3 so i just had to buy it#i always wanted to watch it so#great timing#for the people who don’t know#it’s basically the twilight parody movie#vampires suck#twilight parody#the twilight saga#twilight#cullens#twilight meme#twilight saga
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
In this issue: From a family of vampires to a family of idiots. 😂🤣😅🤣
#bridgerton#twilight parody#pall mall#anthony bridgerton#benedict bridgerton#colin bridgerton#daphne bridgerton#eloise bridgerton#kate sharma#edwina sharma#lady danbury#best moment#oh my word#LOL#supermassive black hole#muse
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I was playing Sims 4 and I found THESE while I was looking through the book selection.
Sims is KNOWN for their parodies in book form so this didn't surprise me. What DID, however, were their descriptions.
Not too bad - just a bit of sarcasm. And then there's THIS
I'M FUCKING DYING OF LAUGHTER
THE ROAST IS REAL
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
new asmr challenge idea I read you nightlight the twilight parody and try desperately not to laugh my ass off
and yes, i will give them each their own voices and sing the song
#nightlight harvard lampoon#twilight parody#the twilight saga#the twilight renaissance#long post#fucking wheezing holy shit#how am I only 62/154 pages surely we've been here forever#there is. SO much going on wow#it is hit after hit my brothers parodies are so fun#especially when you're /intimately/ familiar with the og and can catch every single allusion
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Never taste the blood again
Dracula: this blood it’s full of cholesterol
Homer: And that good kind
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
the twilight parody movie is called Vampires Suck if you were interested :)
Thanks a lot!
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Imagine a story about a family in the US. Irish descent, with an irish name, and, like the stereotypes, five kids in three years (two pairs of twins who don't really look alike and the eldest). Hero is the oldest son, Edward. All the family has this skin disease that makes them very vulnerable to sun so they generally stay home and do virtual classes when it's very sunny, but they go to school normally when it's just cloudy. Due to vitamin c deficiency they are also all on a special diet and bring their own lunch but pretend to eat at the high school's restaurant because they don't want to attract the attention. He is also slightly autistic and doesn't tolerate bodily odors, which is why he always sits on his own in class, and happens to have bad circulation (hereditary, everyone in his family has it on top of the rest) so cold hands. The five siblings are very close to each other because they don't talk a lot to other people, medical issues and all, plus they're not always here.
First day of school. Transfer students arrives. Places herself next to him in class and since she's between the fan and him, he got her odor in his nostrils which is very disagreable. To avoid the sensory overload he just puts his hand in front of his nose, hoping she doesn't notice/think he's being rude.
They keep bumping into each other. At some point we've got a brief passage from her point of view. She has medical issues of her own. Little 1-second absences now and then. She is used to it. Then she has one just as a car starts tumbling to her. She doesn't realize she's having one because of the adrenaline.
POV of Edward again. Seeing her freeze, he just jumps as fast as possible next to her, pushes her against another truck, the rear of the tumbling car bumps into the rear of the truck, ending its course. Edward just puts his hand against the tumbling car's side because he's in unstable balance and again wants to get away from her because odours. All that happened in less than a second, so when she comes back from her absence (which, for once, because of adrenaline, she didn't notice she was having) all she knows is that, impossibly fast, she was two meters away from her original position, next to him who apparently stopped the car with his hand. His very cold (due to poor circulation) hand.
Next day she lures him into the woods and confronts him. She knows what he is. He is a vampire.
Edward thinks she's joking so he confesses wholeheartedly to being one. She was not joking. He goes back home and tells his family. They all think it's hilarious and agree to play along. His brother Emmett suggests he tells ''that edgy girl'' that he doesn't like his odour because he wants to drink her blood and not because autism and sensory overload. Little sister Rosalie, history buff, crafts him a great backstory as a soldier dying of the spanish flu in 1918. She also crafts stories for everyone including a very gory rape-left-for-dead-came-back-and-got-revenge for herself. The father, who's a doctor, gives precision to everybody about blood and what's different between an animal and a human. They all agree to pretend to be ''vegan vampires'' in order to avoid to Edward to actually have to bite her if she tells him he can drink her blood, because you never know with those goth girls. Little brother Jasper also adds the idea of the consequences of drinking human blood on a vampire so as to help strengthen the cover. And sis Alice, who is a bit of a lunatic, adds to the mix semi-incestuous relationships, each pair of twins being a ''couple'', to explain why they are so close all the time (nobody believes them to be twins because they don't look alike at all but it's true). They all ''have powers'' too. Emmet, who hits the gym everyday, is ''super strong''. What does a city girl who never lifted more than a cub of starbucks would know about it? Jasper, who's running laps everyday, is ''super fast''. Alice fakes visions. Rosalie is just ''super pretty''. Edward is telepath.
''really? so you can read my thoughts?'' bella asks. ''er no, not yours, you're the only person in the world like that'', he blurts, panicked. And she believes that because she already decided her new life was going to be supernatural.
And of course all along it's both done in a playful way, as a harmless prank, because they think it will just break one day and she will just realize how stupid it is all, but in a way, most of the siblings also have this morbid curiosity about how far/long they could go without her realizing.
Then at some point the native boy, Jacob or something, who raises big wolf-dogs natives of the area, tells them she's been lurking around his house and is somehow persuaded those dogs, which are very big and very wolf-like, are supernatural, and they convince him to enrole the whole tribe into pretending to be werewolves. And if they can't change so she can get a proof it's because not all of them are wolves anymore.
On a stormy day without school, the Cullen invite the girl, Bella, to watch them play baseball. They are rather good players and she never saw anyone play baseball before so she somehow thinks they are supernaturally good at it, and you know, confirmation bias, at this point, is doing all the work for them. Then three people interrupt the match. They look like hobos but the Cullen watched the TV before going out (Bella didn't) and they know those have broken out of jail two days before. The Cullen get defensive, except for Bella who's just fascinated to see more ''vampires'' because what could make a whole clan of vampire get defensive except more vampires? Since she's not defensive the escapees deem her the easiest prey and stalk her home to take her as a hostage. Also two of them, a couple, who had been convicted for several kidnapping and assaults on young women, seem to have gotten a bit obsessed over her so when they do kidnap her, instead of simply using her as a hostage, they drag her to a desaffected danse studio and wait for her to wake up because it's funnier if their ''prey'' is conscious, when the Cullen arrive because they thought after having taken Bella home that maybe it would be a good idea to tell her father, who is a sheriff, about the escapees. As Bella half-awakes from her drugged state she sees a lot of things going on, among other things the Cullen beating up one of the creeps and her father shooting the other, but her senses are so foggy she thinks a whole big battle has happened. She also goes into a drug-and-wounds-induced coma after falling in the stairs while stumbling out of the studio.
She sleeptalks about marrying Edward at some point when he is visiting her in her hospital room and the family realize they let it go too far (they realized that when she was delusionnal at the baseball match but they've talked about it) and decide to leave town to put some distance. Bella then dreams all the supernatural events of the next books, Jacob being a werewolf, the Cullen leaving to protect her (that one is partly true, she heard in her coma Edward talking of leaving the town and mixed it up with another conversation Jasper and Carlisle had by her bedside about protecting the family from her because she's kinda psychotic and might harm them trying to proove their ''secret''), cliff-diving, a love triangle with Jacob, herself marrying Edward at 18, going into a tropical honeymoon on a private island, as her body starts hurting because of the coma and withdrawal from the drugs in her system and everything she dreams it's because she's pregnant from a half-vampire. Then it gets very, very weird. Jacob falls in love with her two-days-old daughter. An italian secret vampire society tries to kill the Cullen because of said daughter. A battle which is in fact a vision of Alice inside a dream in a coma. More vampires, more powers. It's just signs she's just slipping away.
At some point she might wake up, but right now they're not sure. Carlisle was replaced by another doctor. Charlie Swan doesn't know what happened to her that year, he doesn't know about the whole vampire theory. All he knows is that the escapees tried to kill her so he tracks them down. He is rewarded for his actions by the governor.
And Bella is still in a coma at the end of the book.
12 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
godnessofkitties
bárbara
matts-self-soda-ships
Soft Drinks
smut-camren
Camren G!p Smut
mapsosaa
Xacias