#This is wednesday me who has not seen the episode yet but I have such a strong feeling that it is going to be extremely special. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lesbianpepsi · 11 months

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'Cause I love, to love, to love you

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem!reader

Summary: Ever since Wednesday had been gifted a phone you decided to steal her phone to play a prank on her. But much to your surprise you see something unexpected on her phone.

Warnings: bad writing, some swearing

Words: 1.833k

A/N: i wrote this on my phone since my laptop is having a mental breakdown on me rn. not proof read since it's 3am and it's exam season lmao. sorryyy. also this is my first 'fic' post here. hope this isn't too bad lmao, enjoy:)

One of your absolute favourite hobbies, if it even counts as a hobby, is to "borrow" someone's phone for a few minutes and do something to the phone.

Whether it be quickly change their ringtone to something embarrassing, take a ungodly amount of selfies in thirty seconds, or even send yourself a message complimenting yourself or agreeing to do something stupid.

You always found an annoying trick to play. But you always had one that was your absolute favourite. A classic, some might say.

"Borrowing" someone's phone and changing their wallpaper to something incredibly stupid.

If you were lucky the persons phone would already have unattractive selfies they took as a joke, or a friend would send them one of themself that would automatically save to the phone.

You've done that over a thousand times to all of your friends and family members, and to you it never gets old.

Enid has always been the easiest victim because, one, her passcode is literally '2929', two, Enid always has a grip on her phone but in your or hers dorm room that grip instantly weakens and she always leaves her phone around the place.

The hardest victim to play this prank on is your girlfriend, Wednesday Addams.

Although the goth is not often using her actual device, she always makes sure to keep it close to her person.

The rare times you've managed to snag it while she's in the bathroom or during her writing time, if she isn't looking, for the life of you, you cannot guess her passcode.

Hers has to be much more complex than Enid's simple four digit passcode, since you've tried everything you could've thought of as a six digit passcode, yet to no avail.

You've tried birthdays, important dates to Wednesday, her favourite numbers, secret messages using numbers.

Nothing works.

You've been patiently waiting for the day to finally play the harmless prank on your girlfriend for weeks, and on a quiet Saturday night, it finally happened.

_____________________________________

Saturday had always been your favourite day, who doesn't think Saturday as the best day?

You especially loved Saturdays since the fact the following day follows is Sunday, a day with also no school. Which meant Wednesday was allowed to come over to your dorm room and stay over for the night.

The school had a rule where sleepovers weren't permitted unless it was on the weekend, something that annoyed you greatly, but it was better than nothing.

This particular Saturday you and Wednesday decided to have a simple day. Both of you wanted to have more of a relaxing day rather than one full of plans for once.

It was ten in the evening and you and Wednesday had just finished the first episode of Criminal Minds, a show that took you a while of begging to get Wednesday to actually agree to watch with you.

With a smile you turned your head to look at her, her head already turned to look at you.

"So, what did you think?" You asked eagerly, hoping the goth actually enjoyed one of your favourite shows.

She gave a blank expression as she answered the question. "It was tolerable at best." You grinned at the response; pride filling in you since in Wednesday language that meant she actually liked it.

"I knew you'd like it!" You had the urge to add 'I told you so' but you opted to leave that out. "Whose your favourite character?"

Wednesday's raises her brows slightly at that. "A favourite character? I've only seen a singular episode and don't have a good enough concept of each character's personality to answer that question." She replied in a monotone voice as she glanced back at the screen before back at you.

You stared at her in silence for a moment before a slight smirk replaced the grin on your face.

"It's Hotch isn't it?" Wednesday gives you an annoyed stare as she crosses her arms over stomach. "Just because you've watched this show a myriad of times doesn't make you a profiler." She grumbled, confirming the answer to your question.

You chuckled as you teasingly nudged your shoulder with hers. "I know. I just know my girlfriend so well."

The corners of Wednesday's lips quirked up for a moment before they returned to their normal straight line. "Don't get too cocky, Y/n."

You chuckle once again as you moved your hand to holds Wednesday's, knowing the simple display of affection was one she didn't mind much.

Your smile only grew when Wednesday didn't hesitate to interlock your hands.

"I wouldn't dream of it. But I do know when we watch season two you will definitely love Emily but say otherwise."

Wednesday let out a scoff at your words. "I only remember agreeing to watch one episode of this show, not an entire season."

You shrugged your shoulders before saying. "Fine, I guess I'll have to watch the next episode alone while you sleep then."

Her dark chocolate brown eyes narrowed the ever slightest at that, as if she was trying to profile you to see if you were lying or not.

You stated back with the same amount of intensity, using it as an excuse to admire your girlfriend's beauty.

Wednesday uncharacteristically broke the eye contact first as she let out an angry huff.

"Only one more episode then." You grin at her words, already knowing that meant there were a lot more episodes ahead of you two.

"But I need to empty my bladder first." She states before she let go of your hand to stab up. Once she was out of the bed and standing she gave you a menacing glare before saying. "Don't start the episode without me."

You nodded your head.

"Go piss girl." You said as you let out a small laugh at your own words, still finding the meme enjoyable.

Wednesday stared blankly at you for a few seconds before she turned around and headed towards the bathroom.

She never understood the joke no matter how many times you told her the meme.

Once you heard the shutting of the door you didn't hesitate to roll over to Wednesday's side and retrieve her phone.

Pressing on the screen her lock screen appeared, her lockscreen wallpaper simply being a black background.

Very Wednesday, you thought to yourself. Was the chances of you actually figuring Wednesday's password slim? Yes. Impossible? No.

You were determined to change the girl's wallpaper to something stupid at least once.

Swiping up the phone presented the password screen to you, the circular numbers taking up the entire screen.

Your thumb hovered over the numbers as you thought of what possibly could her password.

Your first guess was '233267' since under each number was one letter that in order spelt 'Addams'.

Much to your disappointment the phone vibrated as the password emptied, telling you that the password was incorrect.

Knowing you didn't have much time to waste you quickly thought of another password you hadn't tried before.

'782378' This time the letters under the numerals spelt Pubert, the name of Wednesday's youngest brother.

Once again the phone vibrated angrily, taunting you that you got it wrong once again.

You sighed as you glanced over at the bathroom door knowing Wednesday would walk through them any minute.

Accepting your defeat you decided to give one last attempt before giving up. This time you just mimicked Wednesday's blank expression as you entered a six digit passcode you hadn't tried before.

'111111' You rolled your eyes as you entered the final digit expecting to hear the vibration once again, especially due to the fact how simple the password was.

But to your surprise you didn't feel a vibration in your hand. Instead you heard nothing.

Your eyes snapped back towards the screen and to your utter delight and shock you were in Wednesday's phone.

You actually managed to guess her password!

(You decided to ignore the fact it was literally more hackable and easier to guess than Enid's passcode)

A smug smile appeared on your face as you straightened your posture, pushing yourself slightly up as your mind rushed with different things you could change her wallpaper to.

Your eyes glanced at her home screen and you fully expected her home screen to be the same as her lock screen.

But it wasn't.

Her wallpaper was a picture of you two on your first date.

You were not expecting that.

The picture itself was a selfie you took, your face closer to the camera with Wednesday sitting behind you. You had a wide smile on your face while Wednesday had her iconic death stare.

In the background of the photo was the gorgeous forest of Nevermore. It was where you had your first date with Wednesday.

Wednesday had prepared a picnic and mapped out the best spot in the forest where she apparently knew the two of you wouldn't be interrupted. It was truly magical.

The longer you stared at the home screen the harder you found it to go actually change the picture.

Suddenly, you heard the obnoxiously loud taps from behind the bathroom door, indicating Wednesday was going to come out any second.

You glanced at the door before back at her phone. Even if it was a few seconds before Wednesday emerged that was still plenty of time for you to change it.

You smiled slightly to yourself as you shut the phone off and placed it back to its orignal spot before shifting back to your side of the bed.

As expected the bathroom door opened a few moments later and silently Wednesday walked over to the bed and got in.

She skilfully sneaked under the blanket you two were sharing and entered your personal space before she turned her head to look at you.

"Are you going to put the continuing episode on or not?" She asked impatiently with a tilt of her head.

You didn't reply at first. Instead you leaned down to kiss Wednesday's cold lips.

The shorter girl took a second to notice what was happening before you felt her kiss you back, you couldn't help but smile against her lips at the feeling.

The kiss itself was brief but it still managed to take away your breath as Wednesday pulled away.

She looked up at you with the smallest tint of pink tainting her ears, something you so desperately wanted to comment on.

"Although that was pleasurable why did you kiss me?" You shrugged your shoulders weakly as your grabbed Wednesday's hand with your hand. "I just wanted to kiss you." You said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The rare small smile slowly appeared on Wednesday's face as she turned to look at the TV screen at the foot of your bed. She shifted closer to you as she did so.

You pressed one final kiss to Wednesday's head before you grabbed the remote with your free hand and pressed play for the next episode.

Although your prank was a failure this time you didn't mind.

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams x femreader #wednesday #wednesday addams #wednesday netflix #fanfic #fluff #wednesday addams & reader #my writing #i'm so gay #i'm also so tired

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poisonlove · 1 month

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Beauty and the Beast | w.a

Pairing: wednesday addams x reader

Words: 15k

Warning: reader unsure about her appearance

I felt lonely, so lonely.

But I couldn't risk anyone being scared by my appearance, I couldn't risk receiving mockery and laughter for what I hide beneath the mask. I had to protect myself and others from the horrible monster that I am.

Not even Eugenie, one of my few friends, knew my true face, and I don't think he'll find out anytime soon. Enid tried a couple of times, but after my umpteenth No she gave up, which I'm grateful for.

Why did it have to happen to me? Why do I have to feel scrutinized because of the mask I wear? Damn it, there are vampires, mermaids, and even people without mouths, and yet I'm the only strange one in Nevermore?

"Y/n, have you heard that a new student has arrived?" Eugenie smiles with all thirty-two teeth as he walks beside me, his eyes gleaming with happiness at the news. "Is it really important?" I ask timidly, biting my lower lip amused by his reaction.

"An extra girl is always welcome," he sighs dreamily. "Maybe she'll even like bees, don't you think?" He asks hopefully.

I tilt my head to the side and watch Eugenie smile widely, hope in his eyes. "I…" I start, feeling a pressure in my chest from his enthusiasm, "I guess so?" I say, chuckling timidly, not wanting to spoil my friend's good mood.

"I mean, I adore you, really," Eugenie says, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose, "but having one more girl in our group would be cool!" He says, analyzing me carefully.

"It's just the two of us… We're not even a trio, and you're talking about a group?" I roll my eyes at his comment, and Eugenie gives me a friendly elbow on the side.

"There's no use rolling your eyes, you know I can see you, right? I mean… besides your mouth, and the other thing that can be seen under the mask," he says sing-song, looking at my mask reluctantly.

"And anyway! We're three!" The boy pouts adorably.

"Really?" I ask in surprise, and Eugenie nods. "Enid," he says, smiling in love at the mention of the blonde werewolf.

I open my mouth ready to retort, but I just ended up sighing loudly.

"Y/n," I turn towards the sound of the voice and see Enid gesturing for me to come closer to her. I raise an eyebrow with confusion and look at Eugenie shrugging indifferently. "Go on, I'll go check on my bees," he says, giving me a pat on the shoulder and walking towards his target, humming a tune.

I approach Enid, who smiles excitedly. "Hi Enid, everything okay?" I ask with a small smile on my lips.

"Y/n! I finally found you!" Enid exclaims, "I have some great news to tell you. You see, the new student is named Wednesday Addams and she'll be my new roommate!"

I feel a knot in my stomach at the thought of facing a new acquaintance, but I try to remain calm. "Wednesday Addams?" I repeat, trying to hide the anxiety that begins to creep up inside me.

"Exactly!" Enid confirms enthusiastically, "It would be fantastic if you two could become friends. I know you're a bit reserved, but I'm sure you'll get along well together!" The blonde smiled widely, her blue eyes looking at me attentively.

I try to mask my discomfort in front of Enid's enthusiasm, but inside, I feel a growing sense of unease. It's not fear, it's just a deep reluctance to interact with new people, especially when I have to hide my true identity behind a mask.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" I ask uncertainly, the memory of Yoko staring at me strangely still vivid in my mind, sending shivers down my spine. I look at Enid curiously, seeking reassurance.

"With Yoko, it was just a small mishap," Enid replies, laughing nervously, able to read what I was thinking during my silence. "It's not your fault if you're so different."

"Right," I mumble to myself, still troubled by the memory of the episode with Yoko.

"I think it'll be different," continues Enid, placing her hand on my arm and starting to walk towards our dorms, "Wednesday has a… special character. You might like her," she adds with a broad smile.

"Are you telling me she's strange?" I ask, feeling offended by her description. Enid looks at me sideways, trying to reassure me.

"No, I didn't mean that," Enid clarifies, "just that she's also shy, and I think you two could get along," she concludes, smiling happily.

"But do we have to go now?" I ask with a worried tone, feeling the need to mentally prepare for the impending meeting. "Of course! I talked about you when she arrived, I think she's writing now," Enid babbles thoughtfully.

"She's writing?" I ask incredulously, a small smile threatening to spread across my lips. The thought of someone actually writing seems surreal to me.

"You see? You haven't even met yet and you already have something in common," Enid says, smiling kindly and looking at me with eyes overflowing with happiness.

As we head towards Ophelia Hall, nervousness grows inside me and my hands start to sweat. My heart beats faster and faster as the moment of meeting Wednesday approaches. I don't know what to expect, and the uncertainty makes me even more agitated.

Enid opens the door and my eyes immediately fall on the room divided in half by a black ribbon, separating two opposite worlds. Enid's side, bright and colorful, contrasts sharply with the darkness of the opposite side.

"The room is… Different," I say timidly, blinking in disbelief.

"Yeah, I was mad the first time too," Enid says with a reluctant sigh, evidently annoyed by the division of the room.

"Wednesday! I want to introduce you to someone," Enid announces, turning her gaze to her roommate on the other side of the ribbon.

Wednesday, focused on the typewriter, emits a small grunt before turning towards us with a rigid and impenetrable posture.

Her dark hair is braided into two impeccable braids that fall on her shoulders with precision and order. Her face is pale, almost ethereal, but her eyes are intense, deep, and penetrating. Her posture is rigid, but she exudes a silent confidence, as if she is aware of her inner power. The air around her seems filled with mystery and fascination, and even though her gaze is cold and distant, there is something about her that attracts and fascinates. It's as if she's enveloped in an aura of darkness, yet at the same time of strength and determination.

Her black eyes scan my figure, and I feel the warmth rising to my cheeks with embarrassment. Thank goodness Wednesday can't see it. I breathe deeply, relieved.

"What is she?" Wednesday asks with sharp curiosity, analyzing me with her gaze.

"Wednesday! You need to be more polite," Enid scolds her, but Wednesday ignores her with indifference.

My heart begins to beat faster as Wednesday approaches me, nervousness growing with each step she takes. Her presence, even silent, seems to envelop me in an atmosphere of mystery and tension, making me feel as if I'm under her scrutinizing gaze.

"You're not a vampire, a werewolf… not even a mermaid…" she mutters softly, her eyes scrutinizing mine intensely.

Her gaze is piercing, full of determination and fascination. "What are you?" she repeats, her voice neutral but curiosity palpable in the air.

I feel cornered, a knot forming in my throat, tightening.

Spontaneously, Wednesday reaches out and places her hands on my face, the tips of her fingers delicately touching my mask.

"Don't," I say in a low but sharp voice, trying to dissuade her.

Wednesday tilts her head slightly, ignoring my request, and brushes her fingers against the mask, exploring its texture with curiosity. Her hand wraps around my mask, and the contact sends shivers down my spine.

My breath becomes irregular as Wednesday continues to examine my mask with care, as if she wants to unveil the secret hidden beneath it. The touch of her fingers on my skin makes me feel vulnerable, exposed to her penetrating gaze.

"Please, stop," I whisper again, trying to control the agitation in my voice.

Wednesday doesn't seem at all disturbed by my request, continuing to explore the mask with an almost scientific curiosity. Her impassive face betrays no emotion, but I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I feel increasingly exposed in front of her.

"Wednesday, stop," says Enid firmly but gently, approaching us. "Y/n has her reasons for wearing that mask, and it's not right for you to force her to reveal it if she doesn't want to."

Wednesday turns to Enid, her cold and distant gaze piercing through her. "I'm not forcing anything," she replies calmly, "I'm just trying to understand."

Enid stands between me and Wednesday, shielding me with her body. "I understand, Wednesday, but there are better ways to get the answers you seek," she retorts, trying to defuse the situation.

I feel relieved by Enid's support, but at the same time anxious about how the situation will unfold.

After a moment of tense silence, Wednesday turns her back and walks away, heading towards the desk with measured steps. A sigh of relief escapes my lips as I sink into a nearby chair.

"What an embarrassing moment," I say with a nervous smile, trying to break the ice.

Enid approaches and places a hand on my shoulder with an expression of solidarity. "Don't worry, Y/n. Wednesday can be a bit… intense at times," she comments with a half-smile.

"You said it," I reply with a small smile, grateful for Enid's support.

On the other side of the room, the incessant ticking of Wednesday's typewriter continues unabated, creating a constant background to our conversation. Her silent presence seems to have added a new dimension to the room, making it even more charged with mystery and tension.

"What do you say we go for a walk outside?" Enid suggests, trying to distract my mind from tumultuous thoughts.

"That sounds like a good idea," I respond with a grateful smile, happy to escape from that tense atmosphere. We rise and leave the room, leaving behind the constant ticking of Wednesday's typewriter.

She seems like an interesting girl I thought to myself

but she really doesn't give up

(…)

Weeks have passed since that first tense encounter with Wednesday, yet her obsession with uncovering what lay beneath my mask showed no signs of abating. Occasionally, during classes or in moments of break, I catch her staring at me with her piercing gaze, as if she wanted to pierce through the fabric of my mask and read my deepest thoughts.

Wednesday doesn't give up easily. She made various attempts: sending anonymous messages, appearing out of nowhere at the most unexpected times, sending Things, and even trying to remove my mask with a sudden gesture. Her questions become more frequent and casual, as if she wanted to uncover my secret through the most mundane conversation.

Flashback

During a break between classes, while I was sitting alone in a corner of the cafeteria, I felt a presence approaching. I looked up and saw Wednesday with her mysterious and aloof demeanor.

"May I sit here?" she asked calmly, indicating the seat across from me.

"Of course, go ahead," I replied, surprised by her sudden company.

Wednesday sat down with a fluid and silent movement, and for a moment we simply looked at each other, without saying a word. Then, without a smile or a greeting nod, she said, "How are you?"

"Quite well, thank you," I replied, trying to hide my surprise at finding her there.

That brief conversation remained imprinted in my mind for days, like an unsolved riddle. Yet, despite her seemingly insatiable interest in my mask, Wednesday did not seem at all frightened or disgusted by me. She was just… curious.

Flashback end

But then, without any warning, Wednesday stops altogether circling around me. She no longer approaches me with her questions or scrutinizing looks. I was left to wonder:

was I boring? Rude? Was I just being paranoid?

"It seems like she's gotten tired of you," Enid jokes, trying to lighten the mood. "Maybe she's finally realized that beneath that mask, it's just you, and nothing so terrifying."

Enid's joke made me smile, but it didn't completely dissipate the tension that had built up inside me. I was nervous about the various conjectures swirling in my head, and I literally asked myself too many questions that had no answer.

"Thank goodness you found something to laugh about," I remarked, trying to conceal my mood.

Enid looked at me with a sympathetic expression. "You know, Y/n, I think you're reading too much into things. Maybe Wednesday has just found something else to focus on, or maybe she's decided she doesn't want to make you uncomfortable."

I wanted to believe Enid's words, but doubt continued to nag at me. "Maybe you're right," I replied, trying to convince myself.

"I promise that if there's anything to worry about, I'll let you know," Enid said sincerely, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I felt somewhat relieved by her promise, but I knew that until I had answers to my questions, my mind would continue to race incessantly. It was frustrating not knowing what was going through Wednesday's mind, but I had to find a way to stop tormenting myself with suppositions and hypotheses.

That afternoon, I found myself in Enid's room, determined to clear things up with Wednesday. The tension in the air was palpable as I tried to gather the courage to confront the situation.

"Wednesday, can I talk to you?" I asked, trying to stay calm despite my pounding heart.

The girl looked up from the book she was reading and glanced at me with detachment. "Sure," she replied simply, showing no sign of interest. Her eyes returned to the pages of the book she was reading.

"Why aren't you talking to me anymore?" I asked, feeling my voice tremble slightly with emotion.

Wednesday didn't even look up from her book. "I can't be friends with a girl who doesn't show her face," she said coldly, as if it were obvious.

Those words hit me like a punch to the gut. "You can't really think like that," I replied, trying to control my growing frustration. "I'm not just my mask, Wednesday. There's much more beneath it."

Wednesday remained impassive, and her indifference deeply hurt me. "You don't even listen to me," I whispered, feeling my heart breaking.

The girl didn't respond, continuing to read as if I were invisible. Frustration and anger welled up inside me, but in the end, I gave up.

With a sigh, I realized I had to accept the situation for what it was. "Maybe you're right," I admitted softly. "But you can't judge without knowing the truth." Wednesday looked up from her book, looking at me with a certain curiosity. "And what would the truth be?" she asked, her eyebrows slightly furrowed.

"The truth… I'm afraid," I replied, feeling a lump in my throat as my hands trembled slightly. With determination, I placed them on the mask, ready to reveal what I had hidden for so long.

Damn feelings I developed for you, persistent Goth I thought bitterly.

Wednesday watched carefully, her black eyes scrutinizing my face with intense curiosity. My heart pounded in my chest, silently praying that she would accept what she was about to see.

With a deep breath, I slowly removed the mask, revealing my true face. Behind it, a hideous scar extended from my eyebrow to my cheek, thankfully sparing my eye. It was a wound I had carried for years, a witness to a painful past that I had never shared with anyone.

Wednesday remained still, her eyes fixed on my scar. Her expression was inscrutable, but I could see surprise in her eyes.

The scar was large and deep, and I couldn't help but feel vulnerable as Wednesday examined it. But there was no more room to hide the truth, and I had to accept her judgment, whatever it may be.

Wednesday closed the book and approached me slowly, her gaze still fixed on the scar adorning my face. Her expression was a mixture of curiosity and shyness, as if she were unsure of what to do or say.

"Can I touch it?" she asked in a barely audible voice, and I nodded weakly, feeling my cheeks flush at her question.

With cautious movements, Wednesday came even closer, her fingers delicately touching my scarred skin. A shiver ran down my spine at the contact, but it wasn't disgust or fear. It was a feeling of calm and acceptance, as if that gesture meant something deeper than just physical contact.

I looked at her face as she examined the scar. Her eyes were full of empathy and understanding, and I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. It was as if I had finally found someone who truly understood me, without judging or condemning.

It was hard to believe that all this had happened because I had fallen in love with her. But now, looking at her up close like this, I realized that maybe it was worth risking my heart for someone who made me feel so alive and accepted.

"How did you get it?" Wednesday asked timidly, slightly clenching her jaw as she continued to observe the scar on my face.

My voice trembled slightly. "It was done by my father," I confessed, feeling the lump in my throat tighten. "He was drunk and one night he lost control."

My voice broke slightly as I remembered those painful moments, the fear and despair I had felt. But I knew I had to share the truth with Wednesday, even if it hurt to revisit those memories.

Wednesday gently caressed my cheek, the touch of her fingers on my scarred skin sending a slight shiver down my spine. "Why did you keep it hidden?" she asked with curiosity, her gaze still full of compassion.

"It's horrible…" I replied softly, feeling the weight of my words. "When everyone looked at me strangely or laughed, I decided to cover it up."

Wednesday's finger brushed against the scar on my eyebrow and a shiver ran down my spine. It was as if that simple gesture was breaking down the barriers I had built around me for years.

"It makes you strong," said Wednesday, tilting her head to the side as she looked at me intently. "And you're… Beautiful all the same."

Her words struck me deeply, and I felt my cheeks blush slightly at her unexpected compliment. It was hard to believe that someone could find beauty in that ugly scar, but with Wednesday beside me, I began to see myself with different eyes.

"Thank you," I replied sincerely, my heart filled with gratitude for her kindness. It was a moment of intimacy and sharing that I would never forget.

"Does Enid know?" Wednesday asked with curiosity, and I shook my head.

"No," I replied, feeling a shiver of nervousness run through my body.

"Are you afraid of her reaction?" she asked timidly, and I nodded slowly.

"If she says something, I'll kill her," said Wednesday with a serious tone, and I couldn't help but smile, feeling for the first time confident and beautiful for myself.

And beautiful for Wednesday.

#jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x fem!reader #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday x you #miércoles addams #wednesday addams x you #wednesday fanfic #wednesday addams gifs #wednesday adams x reader #wednesday x reader #wednesday x y/n #beauty and the beast #Pain #be not afraid #i'm afraid of americans

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heliza24 · 2 months

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Being a physically disabled Dimension 20 fan breaks my heart sometimes

I’ve been thinking about this since last Wednesday’s episode when we finally got a real scene with Lydia, one of the few physically disabled characters in the entire canon of the show. It was nice, but it was really just a lore dump. An excuse for exposition. A moment for Kristen to look good by expending sympathy/pity. (I’m a little frustrated about how that interaction went down. Extending the help action was nice but patronizingly touching the neck of a full-ass adult without consent was not. It was weird and not something she would have done to a nondisabled character).

I have watched almost all of D20 (still missing a couple of seasons) and as far as I know here’s where our list of canon physically disabled characters stand: Lydia Barkrock, Jan de la Vega (who feels pretty problematic to me, maybe more on that in a later post), one of the Dwarven statues in the temple in The Seven (who is not given the dignity of being brought to life like Asha), and Pete’s coworker in TUC2 who is in exactly one episode and is so unimportant I have forgotten his name. I guess you could make an argument that Gunny is disabled, but I don't feel that Lou or Brennan really talk about him or play him through that lens. So in terms of canon physically disabled PCs-- that leaves us with 0.

We do a bit better with neurodivergent characters and characters with mental health problems; Ayda (my beloved) is very well developed and Adaine is a PC. There have been some openly neurodivergent players, like Omar and Surena, whose characters also read ND to me. But that isn’t labeled or discussed in canon, so it's hard for me to know where to class that. I am going to focus the rest of this post on physical disabilities, since that is my area of lived experience. If another fan wants to write about their perspective of neurodivergence rep in the show, I would love to hear that, and will happily amplify.

There has never been a character with a sensory disability or a limb difference or a chronic illness (not a fantasy one, a real one) on Dimension 20. The only NPCs we have are nondescript, similar wheelchair users. And there has never been a physically disabled player at the table. On the flagship show of Dropout, a company founded on diversity and inclusion. It feels extremely pointed to me.

In fact as far as I can tell there has only been one (1) physically disabled performer on any of Dropout’s shows. (Shout out to Brett, you were great on Dirty Laundry.) Obviously I haven’t seen every episode of everything they have produced. If I have missed someone, please do let me know in the comments/reblogs. But it’s a problem. And Sam Reich even agreed with this criticism when I asked him directly about.

I do really hope they’re working on it, as Sam says. But why has it taken so long?

Dimension 20 has had trans and nonbinary and queer players. It has had players of many different races. I’m not saying that the diversity here is perfect; there should always be more POC in the dome, more queer people. We should keep pushing for that. (And we should also push for performers at the intersections of these identities!) But we’ve seen the ways this diversity has expanded and improved the different seasons, because diverse players create sensitively drawn, diverse player characters. They add details to their PC’s experiences that make them feel rich and alive. I’m thinking about each of Ally’s PC’s incredible capital G gender and Aabria “all my characters (even the stoats) are Black” and how excellent they all are. D20 would not be the show it is without this input.

And yet. And yet.

There are 1,000 interesting and complicated themes to explore around disability. Dealing with access. Dealing with ableism. Dealing with compassion and community care. Dealing with none of it and just being a cool fantasy or sci fi character that happens to be disabled. We don’t get any of it.

I watch my favorite show and I see myself in the ace rep and the female characters. But I don’t see all of me. I see a silent but ever present message: you aren’t quite welcome here.

I have this fantasy that I play in my brain sometimes that someday I’ll get to talk to Brennan in person, like maybe if I buy a VIP ticket and risk Covid to go to a live show or we run into each other on the street or something. I am able to look him in the eye and articulate why he NEEDS to include a physically disabled player in an upcoming season. I reference the ways he’s talked about inclusion and writing diversely on Adventuring Party. Maybe I hand him a handwritten letter, or hell, a printout of this post. And because he really cares about diversity and his shows and his fans he would listen to me, and cast a physically disabled performer in the next season.

But I think that might be giving that nondisabled man (whose work I adore, who I respect so much) too much credit. Because he’s had Jennifer Kretchmer, a physically disabled actual play performer, on adventuring academy to talk about access in gaming. He’s hired disability consultants. He knows about physically disabled people, enough to give us shoutouts as inconsequential npcs. And he still hasn’t thought to include us at the table. In over 20 seasons. None of that other stuff matters if we aren't given a seat at the story telling table, and the agency to craft our own narratives equal to other participants in the game.

When Lydia was telling her story in the last episode, I kept wishing for a prequel, where she is more than a plot delivery device and a kind but unimportant parent. I want to know about her adventures with her adventuring party. I want to see a talented, wheelchair-using actor play out the scene when she decides to put the gem in her chest. I want to hear about what happened after. I want to know how she survived. I want it so badly it hurts.

I am in the process of trying to find new indie actual plays that feature more disabled talent. I am learning how to GM myself so I can tell these kinds of stories. But it’s not the same as being a fan of something. Sometimes I don’t want to have to make my own representation. Sometimes I just want to turn on my favorite tv show, the one that I have cosplayed from and written metas about and loved whole heartedly, and see myself included.

If you’re another disabled or neurodivergent fan I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. If you’re not, I’d love for you to reblog this. I would love for the absence of physical disability in this show to be a topic of fandom conversation, at the very least.

#dimension 20 #d20 #my crip media reviews #being a fan is hard sometimes #and being disabled means you get left out of “diversity” all the time #I love this show so much it hurts #I wish it could love me back a little bit more #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #my meta #dropout #dropout tv #Sam reich

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its-your-mind · 2 years

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ya know what, I just put all of this in the tags of someone else’s post, but I have More to say about it

This is a letter to 12-year-old me, who just listened Welcome to Night Vale for the first time in 2013.

Hey, 12 year old me. There are some things I know you need to hear right now.

You are 12, and you’ve just discovered podcasts for the first time. You’re in 7th grade, and you saw screenshots of tumblr posts in nerdy Facebook groups about this super weird one called “Welcome to Night Vale” where they said weird things like “Wednesday has been cancelled, due to a scheduling error.” You think that’s pretty funny, so you check it out.

It’s fun, there’s a dog park no one goes in, and Wednesday has indeed been cancelled due to scheduling errors. The people who live there are delightfully odd - they don’t believe in mountains or angels, despite the fact that the angels sometimes change lightbulbs. When the host describes a new person in town and declares himself in love with him, you (know you’re weird but aren’t sure why - why does Cecil’s comment make you feel so seen?) write it off as equally strange as a disbelief in mountains and move on.

You, 12 years old, only just poking your head out of the hole you grew up in, don’t know who you are yet, because looking too closely at yourself is scary.

You keep listening. When Cecil and Carlos finally talk to each other, beneath those lights above the Arby’s, you start crying. You don’t know why. You don’t understand yet that you are finally being told a story where someone like you was accepted and loved, not in spite of the eccentricities, but because of them.

But that’s not a revelation you’re ready to have yet, and that’s okay. In the exact same way you had glossed over Cecil and Carlos’s relationship development for those first forty episodes, you brush past your own emotions and keep on keeping on. If you keep moving, you don’t have to stop and think harder about what caused you to feel so strongly.

You keep listening. You cheer as this strange town defeats the followers of a Smiling God, you scream into your pillow at the words “he is holding a cat,” you have legitimate nightmares about a beagle puppy, and you bounce up and down as a young disabled girl leads her family in carrying out a successful heist. In the midst of it all, you hear these characters push through the challenges they face by banding together and embracing the things that made them strange.

And slowly but surely, you begin to learn to embrace the things that make you strange, too.

Let’s jump forward a few years. You’re in high school now. You’ve been made fully aware of how people in your life see people like you like Cecil and Carlos, but you also feel nothing but giddy, pure joy each time they talk to each other over the radio. You don’t know how to reconcile those two things.

So you don’t. You slot yourself into the crowd of weirdos at school, and all of you pretend you’re not all going through the same struggle. (Over half of those weirdos turned out to be queer, by the way. Funny how that works out.)

(But that’s another story.)

For now, you’re a sophomore in high school, and you’re feeling lost, and overwhelmed, and alone. And like you always do when you feel overwhelmed, you put in your earbuds and listen to someone else’s story for a bit.

This episode is called Toast. It’s just a bunch of speeches from the characters that have welcomed you into their community. At first, it’s not clear what the toast is to, and so you focus on trying to figure it out. Your mind cycles through possibilities. Is it a funeral? Commemorating a special Night Vale holiday? Someone’s birthday?

It slowly dawns on you. This is the toast at a wedding. Everyone giving the toast can’t help but talk about what a happy occasion this is. But you are still so small, and so so scared, and it doesn’t occur to you whose wedding it might be until Old Woman Josie comes up and mentions them by name.

Without understanding quite why, you start to sob. You cry through the rest of the episode, so much that you have to pause and rewind to hear the entirety of Carlos and Cecil’s speeches to each other. Carlos talks about love as a continuous series of choices, as the turning of a story about “you” and a story about “me” into a story about “us.” Cecil shares how his love for his community and his partner has gotten him through the hardest times, not because it overpowered the difficulties, but because it allowed him to keep going in spite of them.

With the benefit of hindsight, I can see why those things brought up the emotions they did. We want to be loved, but more than that, we want the chance to choose to love, and we want someone to choose to love us. What we crave, at our very core, is acceptance. We just want to be seen and welcomed, no matter who we happen to be, and no matter the person we have chosen to love.

You won’t be able to label yourself as queer for another three years. You’ll meet people who will tell you that something in you is broken, but you’ll meet even more people who build on the foundation that Night Vale began. You will learn that being different, in whatever way you are different, is something to be celebrated, not hidden.

There will come a day when you are safe, and happy, and loved, just as you are. You can let all of yourself shine - your loves, your fears, your odd fashion sense, your passion for weird radio-broadcast podcasts - and the people around you won’t just tolerate it, they’ll admire it.

The road to get there won’t be easy, but I am so excited for you to walk it. You’ve got this. And on every step on that journey, just remember: The moon is still beautiful, mysterious lights still pass overheard, and you are loved.

Sincerely, 23 year old you

#welcome to night vale #wtnv #cecil gershwin palmer #carlos the scientist #lgbtqia #queer love #if you made it all the way through that #👏#sup #thanks for reading my ramblings

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jbuffyangel · 3 months

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We'll Always Have Paris: Arrow 1x21 Review (The Undertaking)

Oliver and Felicity hit the casino to save Walter (remember Walter?), which provides the best Freudian slip in the history of Arrow.

We finally get some much-needed flashbacks on Robert Queen & Lauriver to fill in the holes of history and it’s a horror show. I can’t unsee what I have seen, so now we just get to rant about it.

Oh, and the writers completely telegraphed the demise of Lauriver in this episode. It just took me the better part of decade to notice it. It's all about Casablanca. Yes. Really.

Let’s dig in…

Olicity

Finally! Some decent Olicity content. Season 1 is rough y'all.

Source: Paige

Oliver is still Oliver which means he hasn’t apologized yet to Diggle for abandoning him. Felicity is trying her best to get the bromance back on track.

Source: Paige

Unfortunately, this is an immovable object meeting an unstoppable force kind of situation, so until Oliver pulls the stick out of his butt and admits he was wrong – Diggle is sitting this episode out.

Felicity: I know Oliver is religiously against admitting when he’s wrong, but the truth is he needs you.

Diggle: Yeah, and when Oliver is ready to say that he knows where I live.

John is not some disciple who will blindly follow Oliver wherever he goes. Diggle has self-respect and will not accept anything but an equal partnership from Oliver. Fighting for a man’s soul is going to cause some fights. Diggle needs to win more than his fair share if we are going to see any growth in Oliver Queen.

So, it’s left to our Girl Wednesday to hit the streets with The Hood when they get a lead on Walter. I honestly forgot he was kidnapped it’s been so long since they’ve mentioned him.

A dirty accountant on The List paid two million dollars to Dominic Alonzo on the same day Walter was kidnapped. Alonzo runs the biggest underground casino in Starling City, when he’s not busy with his day job of kidnapping and murder. Oliver needs to access Alonzo’s computer to find a location on Walter.

Source: @olicitygifs

And guess who is really great at counting cards? Oliver immediately refuses Felicity’s help. His deep aversion to putting her in any kind of danger will never stop being hot. This is the big break on Walter that Felicity has been waiting for, so she insists, and Oliver relents. I love that she never lets Oliver tell her what she can and can’t do.

The goal is for Felicity to be caught counting cards, so she can get a friendly warning from Alonzo and bug his computer. She is more than a little concerned that the friendly warning will be a bullet. Felicity is not a trained soldier like Diggle and she’s not a ninja/archer like Oliver. She’s signed up to fight crime, but she never shies away from expressing her fear. It’s what makes her so relatable because any person in these circumstances would be afraid.

Oliver immediately downshifts into his soft, gentle and reassuring tone that’s becoming more and more for Felicity Smoak only. The man is a growling serial killer who turns into Fluffy McSoftie Bear around her.

What makes Felicity a hero is she faces her fears head on. She doesn’t let anything stop her and Felicity Smoak is determined to find her boss. Walter gave her a job, health insurance and dental. Never underestimate a loyal employee.

Source: olicitygifs

Annnnnd we've arrived! The Freudian of all Freudian slips. This is a little risqué for the CW back in the day. Felicity’s inadvertent sexual innuendo is hilarious every time, but this one takes the cake. I believe it’s Emily Bett Rickard’s favorite as well.

If you were a Olicity shipper in Season 1 the Laurel fans would use scenes like this to prove Felicity just has a crush, Oliver will never return her feelings, and she’s just comic relief.

But who is introducing the sexual element between Oliver and Felicity? The writers. If this is supposed to remain a platonic friendship - why even go, there? These were the thoughts I would think watching live, wondering if I was crazy for seeing so much more than comedy between these two characters.

Felicity does get caught and initially it’s a friendly warning, until they find an earpiece the size of Saturn and demand to know who her partner is.

Someone put their hands on Felicity, so say goodbye to Fluffy McSoftie Bear and unleash the Kraken!

Source: @andjustforthismoment

Unfortunately, Alonzo doesn’t have good news and tells The Hood, after a good thumping, that Walter is dead. Oliver tells Moira and Thea that one of Diggle’s army buddies works for the FBI and he confirmed Walter is dead. Instead of grief, Moira is enraged and firmly believes Oliver is wrong. Almost like she knows something Oliver doesn’t.

Thankfully, Oliver has grown a brain when it comes to his mother and rather take her word for it or delude himself into thinking she’s just in shock, he follows her Merlyn Global as The Hood. He records her conversation with Merlyn.

Moira: You promised if I cooperated with The Undertaking that Walter wouldn’t be harmed.

Merlyn: He hasn’t been. I’m a man of my word Moira.

Moira: We both know better than that. I know you’ve had him killed.

Of course, Walter is alive and still in the cell Merlyn has kept him in for the last six months. So, Oliver discovers the following:

Malcolm Merlyn, his best friend’s father, kidnapped Walter.

2. Moira knew all along who had Walter and why.

3. Moira is working with Merlyn on something called “The Undertaking.”

It’s a rough day when you learn your mother is colluding with a super villain and is an accessory to kidnapping. Oliver retreats to the darkness to wallow and mourn how completely messed up his family is. Then Felicity steps into the bunker and the room is flooded with light. It’s always the light.

Source: @smoakmonster

And with the light comes the truth. Oliver tells Felicity to track Malcolm Merlyn’s last phone call, which leads to Walter’s location. Oliver, in full superhero mode, attacks from the sky and lands on the roof with a parachute no less. Walter’s cell conditions are not great. Let’s not talk about the bucket of poo next to his bed. Immediately, we, and Oliver, know the man has been through it.

Oliver meets Walter, Moira and Thea at the hospital post Hood rescue.

Walter: Thank you, son.

It’s just a second, but we can see Oliver is really touched by Walter’s affection. We’ve gone from Oliver accusing Walter of sleeping with Moira at the dinner table his first night home to accepting Walter calling him son. That’s called growth my friends.

Yet, there was sadness in Oliver’s smile too. He was able to bring Walter home, something he couldn’t do for Robert Queen, and it was clear how much Oliver was missing his dad in that moment.

Felicity pops up in the doorway, carrying a bouquet of brightly colored flowers, wearing a deep fuchsia jacket and her sunshine hair pulled back into its signature ponytail. She physically is such a stark contrast to Oliver’s melancholy, and it snaps him out of it for a little bit as he introduces Felicity to his family.

Source: Paige

Felicity has become so fully entrenched in Oliver’s life that it actually took me a minute to remember Moira, Thea and Laurel have no idea who she is. She was introduced in Episode 3 and we’re on Episode 21! It’s almost like the writers forgot and realized they had to introduce Felicity to the rest of the cast. It’s wild y’all.

First up is Laurel earlier in the episode at the bar. She’s informing Oliver of her breakup with Tommy when Felicity pops in to advise him of another break – Walter’s kidnappers. It’s been a long-held belief in the Olicity fandom that Laurel’s reception was cool. One could even say snotty. I tried to go into this with an open mind, but yeah, I have to say that impression still holds for me. It’s like Felicity is a bug to be crushed.

Meanwhile, Felicity is so sweet to the woman Oliver Queen is hopelessly in love with (or so she thinks). It’s the way Felicity says gorgeous, almost sadly, like she sees for herself how beautiful Laurel is and its confirmation she won’t measure up. Oliver Queen will never look at her the way he looks at Laurel. So, it has to sting a little when he introduces Felicity as the person setting up his internet. It irked me. It felt dismissive.

Source: Paige

It’s very easy to dismiss Felicity as comic relief, and her Freudian slips are funny, but there are real and true feelings underneath. Felicity is in love with Oliver. It does cause her pain to see him with other women.

Felicity’s insecurity is easy to understand. Oliver is not the only person who has growing to do. Felicity needs to realize she is just as beautiful, smart and lovable as Laurel Lance. What’s more, she has to realize Oliver does look at her in a way that’s different than Laurel, but it’s not less. It’s infinitely more. But we’re nowhere near ready for either character to acknowledge that yet.

When Oliver introduces Felicity to Moira and Thea, he calls her a friend, which is quite the glow up in twenty-five minutes. It’s warm and it’s true. More importantly, it carries much more significance than “Internet Girl.”

The deal was Felicity would join the team to find Walter. Well, they found him. That should conclude Felicity’s involvement in Oliver’s life. But he isn’t dismissing her as a “nobody” like Felicity did with Laurel. He is stating the opposite. Deal or no deal, Felicity is remaining in Oliver’s life.

Maybe that’s why he was more dismissive of Felicity with Laurel. Maybe he didn’t want Laurel to know there is another woman in his life. One he may be having more than friendly feelings towards. Oliver, Laurel and Tommy aren’t the only love triangle on this show.

Source: Paige

Lauriver

Holy hell.

We have all patiently waited for the holes to be filled in on Laurel and Oliver’s past. We’ve waited for some kind of reference to happier times – any kind of evidence these two, at one point, were madly in love and destined to be together until fate (and Oliver’s stupidity) stepped in and ripped them apart. We’re supposed to want Oliver and Laurel to get back together. They are the Plan A couple. This is the Green Arrow and Black Canary. DC Comic’s third tier golden couple. They belong together, right?

Someone may want to inform the Arrow writers of that because what we see in these flashbacks is absolute hot garbage. Of course, the immediate response is, “Of course Jen. You’re an Olicity shipper. You hate everything about Laurel and Oliver.”

Yeah, but how did I get there? EPISODES. LIKE. THIS. I did my absolute very best to ship Oliver and Laurel all through Season One because they are comic book canon. It was a foregone conclusion they would end up together and shipping Oliver with Felicity was setting myself up for five years of disappointment. I know how television writing works, friends. They very seldom deviate from the couple set up as endgame in the pilot. Oliver and Laurel are Plan A. It’s just math.

Well, the math ain’t mathing y’all. Blessedly, we get a break from the Island flashbacks and Arrow is spending some time in Starling City five years ago. Oliver and Laurel are ordering pizza as she’s studying for the bar exam. It’s cute. It’s sweet even. They’re in their little love bubble and we’re seeing them happy and together – the place we’re supposed to be rooting for them to return to in present day.

Laurel mentions their friends are moving in together and Oliver is happy for them because they've been together forever. Laurel immediately informs Oliver they’ve been together longer. Cue Oliver internally screaming. Deer in headlights. The building is on fire. WHERE IS THE EXIT? ABORT! ABORT!

Laurel, ever the lawyer, comes prepared with an argument. Moira busted Laurel in a morning-after-sex-romp and Lance threatened to tase Oliver the last time he stayed at Laurel’s, so she’s just being practical. Economical even. Why don’t they get a place of their own? (If the parents aren’t cool with you sleeping together while living separately what makes you think they’ll be ok with you MOVING IN TOGETHER, Laurel? Whatever. You do you babe.)

Oliver offers up a feeble maybe and then tells her IT’S A LITTLE FAST. Dude, for real? What Laurel is asking for isn’t unreasonable. She’s ready to take the next step and for Oliver to call that fast after probably several years together (college, maybe even high school) doesn’t make any sense if he’s in love with Laurel.

I’m a big believer in He's Just Not That Into You. Men are not overly complicated creatures. If they like a woman, they go after her. If they love a woman, they don’t need to be convinced to move in together or get married. They want to do those things.

They sure as hell don’t run screaming all the way to their father’s yacht for a three-week trip in the NORTH CHINA SEA with their girlfriend’s SISTER. This is exactly what Oliver does after he lukewarmly tells Laurel he’ll move in with her.

Source: Paige

Laurel meets Oliver on the docks to say goodbye. In an extra classy move, he phones Sara on the walk down to Laurel and tells her to circle around the parking lot until her sister leaves. This guy is such a prize. Fall to your feet, women of the world, and swoon. We have found THE ONE.

Laurel is not stupid. Well, she’s not always stupid. She knows something is up and asks her boyfriend if he was running away to the North China Seas to avoid moving in with her. Oliver scoffs. What’s this you say? Pure poppycock, milady. For when I return from my sea voyage we shall be betrothed henceforth!

She gives him the picture. The sodding picture. Honestly, it reeks of desperation. Oliver kisses it and it’s just awkward and gross. Please break up immediately. I can’t watch this anymore.

Oliver races back to the boat, to Sara, and Laurel is left alone on the docks. She gives a helpless little shrug. Deep down, Laurel knows Oliver is running away from her.

In present day, Laurel is at Oliver’s club drinking coffee and informs him of the big break up.

Oliver: It’s probably just cold feet.

Laure: Like it was with you? Oliver, you don’t sleep with your girlfriend’s sister unless you’re looking to blow the relationship up.

That’s the smartest thing she’s said all season.

Oliver: If you still want to be with Tommy, do what we should have done. Talk to each other and be honest.

You mean what YOU should have done Oliver? Laurel was honest. You were the liar and YOU’RE STILL LYING. Oliver is pretending he has no idea why Tommy broke up with her. He knows exactly why.

BECAUSE OF HIM.

Oliver tells Laurel to have honest conversation with Tommy, when he knows Tommy can’t do that BECAUSE HE’S KEEPING OLIVER’S SECRET and that’s one of the primary reasons he broke up with Laurel. It’s all so friggin manipulative. Where is something to throw at him??!!!!

Also, Oliver is acting all smarmy and flirty with his Humphrey Bogart reference. Wait a minute…

It’s interesting that the writers chose Casablanca. I know it’s kind of a cliché line when talking to a girl in a bar, but if we look at the plot Casablanca there are similarities between Oliver and Laurel.

Rick (Humphrey Bogart) and Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) meet in Paris during WWII and fall in love. They aren't big on sharing too many details about themselves however. The rule is no questions. We do find out Ilsa's husband died. However, when she discovers he's alive, Ilsa leaves Rick with no explanation.

When they meet again years later in Casablanca, Ilsa explains why she left Rick standing at the train station. Ilsa husband's, Victor Laszlo, is a true hero. He is noble, idealistic and a leader of the Resistance. He was a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp, but instead of dying like Ilsa thought - he escaped. He was very ill after being in the camp and needed her care. She was afraid if she told Rick, he wouldn't leave Paris and it was too dangerous for him to stay.

Ilsa's abandonment left Rick bitter and disillusioned. He opens a bar in Casablanca and while he allows people to arrange safe passage out of Nazis occupied Europe, he remains staunchly uninvolved (never a great look when it comes to the Nazis). But deep down Rick has a heart of gold. He ultimately saves Victor from the Nazis and ensures his safe flight to the United States. Isla still loves Rick and plans to stay with him in Casablanca, but in the end, Rick puts her on a plane with her husband.

Rick: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You’re part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

Ilsa: But what about us?

Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.

Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you.

Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that.

Rick: Now, now...Here's looking at you kid.

They just don’t write them like that anymore. It’s a classic for a reason. There was real love between Rick and Ilsa and their love didn’t disappear because of circumstance. In the end, Rick gives Ilsa up for the greater good. His patriotism is reawakened and plans to continue the dangerous fight against the Nazis on his own. He wants Ilsa safe in the United States.

More importantly, he recognizes Victor is a good man truly deserving of her and needs Ilsa to continue his fight against the Nazis. Rick knows, deep down, she loves Victor and will regret staying with him. Their lives have taken them down two different roads and she was needed elsewhere, just like he was.

Their time was in the past. They are holding on to a memory. Rick can look back on that time fondly now, but it’s a time they can never recapture. Even though they love each other very much, ultimately, they couldn’t bridge the time that separated them.

He sends Ilsa off with the better man who can keep her safe and happy, even though it breaks his heart to do so. This selfless act of love proves Rick is a hero just like Victor and equally as deserving of Ilsa.

Laurel is Ilsa. Oliver is Rick. Tommy is Victor (the husband). I’m not arguing we have a Casablanca level love triangle here. Hardly, but Casablanca is the blueprint for how the Oliver, Laurel and Tommy love triangle should be resolved. Key word is SHOULD.

What about how Ilsa feels? Is she just a pawn in a chessboard between Rick, Victor and the Nazis? No. People have been arguing for years whether Ilsa loved Rick or Lazlo. My perspective is she loved them both. Rick is her passion, but Victor is her life. Ultimately, she knows Rick is right and chooses devotion over passion.

At this point we are uncertain where Laurel stands with Oliver and Tommy. The truth is, like Ilsa, Laurel loves them both. However, in the immortal words of Queen Catherine on Reign, “I know you think you love them both. And while that may be true, I argue that you love one more.”

Who does Laurel love more? We’re not going to get the answer until the season finale. That’s how love triangles work, but Casablanca maps out the choice Oliver should make. He needs to take a step back and recognize what he is chasing is a memory. Laurel and Oliver’s love is in the past.

What Laurel has with Tommy, a good man, is real. Maybe it doesn’t have all the heat and drama she has with Oliver, but ultimately that’s not what lasts. Passion fades and you need to the bedrock of devotion to sustain a relationship.

Oliver has shown Laurel anything but devotion. He went running to that boat because he didn’t want to move in with her. It was more than cold feet. You don’t cheat on a woman you are in love with. These are not circumstances Oliver has found himself in by accident or fate. Oliver made choices and those choices have consequences.

I truly don’t believe Oliver knows what love is yet. He thinks Laurel is what he’s supposed to want. Returning home to Laurel and fixing what went wrong was all he thought about on the Lian Yu. That’s a long time to convince himself she’s his true love. She’s the key to fixing everything. If Oliver chose Laurel, Sara would not be dead. Robert would not be dead. He would have NEVER spent five years away from home. There’s no mission. There’s no hood.

I’m not denying they love each other, but they lack trust. They lack devotion. It’s not the kind of love you build a life on. If it was then Oliver would have built a life with Laurel rather than getting on that boat and blowing up their relationship instead.

There are moments in life when it’s clear which path you take. There is a right path and a wrong one, but you don’t choose the right path because it’s too hard. Laurel approaching Oliver in that hallway is one of those moments. Tommy told Laurel she should be with Oliver. She comes to the hospital to ask Oliver to speak with Tommy.

This is the moment. This is the moment Oliver needs to let her go. PUT HER ON THE PLANE , OLIVER!!!!

But he doesn't.

Source: @blackcanarysource

Laurel’s intentions are pretty clear. She wants Tommy. Then Oliver drops this bomb and simply walks away. He has absolutely no intention of being with Laurel, of telling her the real truth, but refuses to let either of them move on. This will absolutely mess with her head and obliterate the path back to Tommy.

Admitting that his time with Laurel has past, that he can never go back and undo what happened between them and erase those five years, is too hard for Oliver. He can’t let go, so he clings to Paris. He clings to a romanticized memory of what he had with Laurel.

But make no mistake, if Laurel chooses Oliver, she will regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday.

Robert Queen and Malcolm Merlyn

Speaking of plot holes, we also had to wait a long time to get clarity on why Robert Queen was in cahoots with Malcolm Merlyn and the answers are bonkers.

Robert, Malcolm and Frank have joined forces to convince the city’s worst to do what’s best with some not so friendly blackmail. They all have their reasons for cleaning up Starling City – Malcolm’s wife was murdered in The Glades and Frank’s daughter was raped. Everyone in the room lost something to The Glades.

Merlyn feels their efforts are futile and to save Starling City they have to do something big – level The Glades. Malcolm promises it can look like a natural disaster. Unidac Industries has a prototype, five years away from completion, that can make it look like a natural disaster.

It’s around this time Robert realizes Malcolm Merlyn is batshit crazy. He attempts to talk him out of mass murder, but Malcolm is too far gone. The pain of losing his wife, of listening to her die over and over, has created a madness in him reason cannot penetrate.

So, what did Robert lose to The Glades? His soul according to Malcolm. It’s not until Robert confesses to Moira that we learn what that means.

Robert: I’m not the man you think I am.

Robert was approached by a local councilman before the steel factory opened in The Glades (Oliver’s bunker). He wanted money because bribes are the way things work in The Glades, but Robert refused. They got into an argument and he fell. Robert accidentally killed a man. The List, cleaning up Starling City, and working with Malcolm Merlyn was Robert’s way of atoning for his sins.

It should not be lost on us that the steel factory (now Oliver's bunker) is where Robert Queen lost his soul, but it’s where his son is finding his.

Moira immediately points out Robert is atoning for one murder by committing hundreds or thousands. She tells Robert the real path to atonement is to stop Malcolm Merlyn from committing this atrocity. At least one of Oliver’s parents has not gone completely nuts.

Moira makes Robert promise he will stop Merlyn, so he comes up with a plan. Robert is convinced Malcolm won’t level The Glades unless he can rebuild it. Malcolm has been buying up properties in The Glades for years and Robert’s proposal to Frank is to buy up the rest of the city. He’ll lose the control he requires to rebuild it. This is also about good old-fashioned greed. Merlyn will make millions rebuilding The Glades.

Unfortunately, Frank serves Robert up on a plate and tells Merlyn exactly what he’s planning. They plant a bomb on the Queen’s Gambit, but since there’s typhoon warning it will look like it went down in a storm. What is this guy’s deal with murder masquerading as natural disaster? Now that I know Frank betrayed Robert, I don’t mind as much that Moira betrayed Frank.

Malcolm: One man alone can’t save this city, Robert. We both know that.

This is an ominous warning for the present day as well. Robert couldn’t save the city alone and neither can Oliver. After learning of The Undertaking and facing off with Merlyn in a tense exchange at the hospital, Oliver realizes he needs help and apologizes Diggle for letting him down. He realizes now Diggle was right about Moira all along and it will take all three of them to put a stop to Malcolm Merlyn.

Source: Paige

Stray Thoughts

I’m being philosophical when I talk about heat and passion with Laurel and Oliver. They are supposed to be all the passion, while Tommy is the steadiness. It requires chemistry to see this concept physically manifested and Stephen & Katie simply do not have it. It’s a huge problem and makes their romance that much tougher to believe.

Moira doesn’t want to know who Robert’s mistress is. Guess this explains why Oliver believes you can love someone and cheat on them at the same time.

Not to be completely superficial, but Felicity’s hair and dress are WOW! You all know how I feel about red. On that same superficial note, Felicity's daytime Season 1 wardrobe is rough though. YIKES. We need a budget increase ASAP.

Diggle paints or takes photographs. Also I saw a saxophone in his apartment too. Why didn’t we revisit this at some point?

“Tommy, I love you and I think you still love me.” So, she DOES love Tommy. First time we heard her say that. About damn time.

“Honestly, you belong with Oliver. He’s still in love with you.” Shut up Tommy. You’re your own worst enemy.

Listen to the Watchover podcast reaction to 1x21!!!

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me

#arrow #arrow 1x21 #olicity #oliver and felicity #arrow review #arrow reviews #anti lauriver #anti laurel lance #anti laurel and oliver #oliver and diggle #john diggle #felicity smoak #oliver queen #arrow season 1 #season 1 episode review #season 1 episode reviews #watchover #watchover with jen and calli #watchover podcast

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justmy-account · 3 months

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Stranger Things updates from this week

January 22nd-28th

Monday 22nd

the account on twitter who says they work on set and post some spoilers is still a big deal. but its fake(imo)

Tuesday 23rd

Cara Buono(Karen’s acteress) was filming this day, so maybe some of her children are in hospital? Or maybe Ted is dying lol

they were filming second episode there(at least they should, Cara posted a video today were she said that it’ her first day and they were filming ep. 2)

Wednesday 24th

we got a new part of the video from the roof top. it looks like el is crying there. people are saying maybe it isn’t break up, bc Mike is laughing there

one of the new filming locations is some radio tower. and they made social media for it? yet they only posted some quotes from the show

Thursday 25th

there’s big focus on Bradley’s supermarket

they’re also filming in the quarry? i don’t like this

also some random photos

someone said that at one of the pictures we got might be will

also, someone used ai lip reader to the leaked video, and mike says sth like “after all this is over, we can go live to my local village, it’s very peaceful place, there three waterfalls nearby” or some shit like that, and i’ve seen many memes abt it

Friday 26th

it’s friday, i’m in love! the cure is coming on the stage!

(these lyrics are from song Boys Don’t Cry by The Cure(they also have a song named Friday I’m in Love, and it’s Friday, get it…), and in s4, Will had Boys Don’t Cry poster in his room, and i love this song, and it would be great to see it in st.)

the stranger things broadcast channel posted few new pictures, it looks like they were filming in school library

also dustins and lucas’s(but maybe someone else’s) locker

Saturday 27th

new photos of hawkins memorial hospital

(there are more of them, i’ll only put these in)

Then, they hyped us

[Spongebob voice] 10 minutes later

that’s practically it, come on, we knew you were filming in the hospital!

Sunday 28th

apparently, Sadie Sink has been seen in London, so it looks that she’s not the one filming in hospital. since Karen has been on set, maybe really some of her kids are in hospital. maybe Holly, bc Mike and Nancy are important characters

filming is also at Lovers Lake

Edit: they’ve actually mixed the locations(thanks to @crescentmoonfire for pointing that out to me)

#stranger things #stranger things bts #stranger things 5 #stranger things 5 spoilers #st5 spoilers #max mayfield #byler #st5 bts #st5 production

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omgpurplefattie · 2 months

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WIP Wednesday

From the third chapter of the current episode of my MLC Star Trek AU; aboard the USS Sentinel; PoV Fang Duobing:

Li Lianhua sighed; even with his back to him, Fang Duobing could hear the eye-roll.

“They have a replicator,” Fang Duobing said while he started typing again.

He heard Li Lianhua use that thing, then curse softly because the beverage was apparently piping hot, and then he wandered around, his footsteps meandering in the background of Fang Duobing’s attention.

“Fuck my life,” he suddenly hissed, almost softly; Fang Duobing turned around as that sounded serious. Something to do with A-Fei?

Li Lianhua was staring up at the memorial display for the crew of the Sigu.

“Ten years?” he said. “It’s already been ten years? I remember when the news came. Every researcher knew somebody from their own field who had been on the Sigu. Fifty-eight people; I never counted them at the time. Fifty-eight. I think A-Fei knew the Klingon programmers, too.”

“Fifty-nine, counting the captain,” Fang Duobing said; he hit ‘send’, giving up on polishing his report to the Hundred Rivers agency any more, and came to stand beside Li Lianhua.

Of course he would have known some of the historians and stellar cartographers and linguists and xenobiologists aboard the ship; the fact that he was a rogue scientist and quack doctor dabbling in all those subjects from their unsavory sides didn’t diminish the fact that he knew about them and followed current discourse.

“He was supposed to know what he was doing, but those fifty-eight just went along where he was heading,” Li Lianhua said, rather harshly. “Just look at his smug, prim Vulcan visage!”

“Hey,” Fang Duobing said, stepping up behind Li Lianhua and putting his arms around him. “Don’t diss the captain. He basically hired me for Hundred Rivers, you know.”

“What? You must have been a kid when he vanished.”

“I was a kid, not quite a teenager yet,” Fang Duobing said, “but I got to hear him speak at the university in Shanghai, and asked a question at the end. He told me he’d let me join his project if I kept asking those thorny questions while growing up. I’m here because of him.”

Li Lianhua turned his head and stared at him.

“I diagnose,” he finally said, “a terminal case of hero worship. It has already affected your brain.”

The door opened again, and there was the sound of claws on the smooth ship deck as Fox Spirit came trotting into the room.

“He worships Xiangyi?” said the voice of A-Fei.

Li Lianhua turned, sliding out of Fang Duobing’s arms. “There you are,” he said. “Xiaobao was ready to storm the security station to rescue you when he heard they put you in the scanner.”

“No harm done,” A-Fei said. “There was a medical attendant who had never seen a Klingon in the living flesh; he took a while. I didn’t want to cause a stir.”

“He gaped at your…!” Fang Duobing spat, enraged. “That is so rude. To play at security when they really just wanted a look at your” --- “anatomy.”

A-Fei gave a brief laugh and walked up to them, putting a long arm around each of them as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Not a problem,” he said. “Really not. They didn’t make me take off my underwear. Now, however, your Xiangyi-worship might be a problem in the long run.”

#wip wednesday #mysterious lotus casebook #fang duobing #li lianhua #di feisheng #i am writing #star trek au

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candygalaxyyy · 1 year

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It’s 4 AM for me rn, I should probably go to bed because my sleeping schedule is a mess… but I’m dead set on understanding the timeline for the eighth sense. Sorry in advance for any misinformation or plot holes :) I’ve been rewatching episode 6 since Wednesday and I’ve just finished rewatching all six episodes again, safe to say things are becoming clearer. So first of all, it’s not a dream. The whole of episode 6, the drowning scene, jae won pulling ji hyun out of the water, it’s all very real. Even though the gas station scenes felt very surreal and almost mystical, especially with the lighting, blurred polaroid effect and music, but it’s still real?! People have already mentioned that on here; about it being real, time being warped with future events and other theories. And idc if this is obvious but I need it in writing to come back to.

Here’s my understanding of the past/present/future theories. Everything in episode 6 is the present, up until the trauma kiss. After the trauma kiss scene the screen fades to black, I believe that indicates a shift in the timeline being shown (it happened before but i forgot when exactly I’ll update later after I’ve watch it again). So the eighth sense is centered around jae won’s therapy session! How do I know this? Well after the opening theme in episode 1 the first scene we see is jae won at his therapist’s, and she says ‘tell me about your worries’. And so the story begins. He mentions in either episode 4 or 5 that his current worries kicked in after leaving the military so we meet ji hyun exactly when jae won’s been discharged. We still get ji hyun’s focus sometimes because as much I feel this story is jae won centered, ji hyun’s perspective gives a full picture of their relationship (have not grasped the whole story of why yet, probably to give depth to ji hyun and his importance in this story).

Jae won’s present day therapy session only appears after certain triggers are brought up, and the most telling one is him getting wasted, and his dad smashing the camera his brother gifted him (episode 5). I think this is the trigger that causes the whole therapy session, cause he mentions him putting up a front (his fake friend taehyung talking about his family), his dad aggression (broken camera) and other things we’ve seen. Furthermore, it was the longest snippet of the session we’ve seen thus far. It’s also all one session, we know this because they’re wearing the same clothes and hair in every therapy scene. Anyways, as he lets all his worries out and she asks what makes you happy these days. He thinks of ji hyun, tells her and then she says she should further their relationship if that’s the case. So he decides to take ji hyun to the beach, following the advice of his therapist and since ji hyun told him to rely on him. (present day leading to episode 6). So now we are in episode 6, going to the beach and all that good stuff, Jae won opens up because he’s just been advised to deepen his relationship with ji hyun and he feels comfortable to do so. They surf and give each other trauma through kisses… THE SREEN FADES TO BLACK.

We’ve jumped to the future, the lighting, tones and atmosphere after the trauma kisses has totally shifted from the rest of the episode, so it’s fitting to say it’s future events. To me that hotel scene is another trip in the future because they clearly say that they are only staying for that one night on the beach, because they don’t have clothes (and after them getting close on that trip it is safe to assume they will definitely go on more boyfriend trips). One reason I think the writers might have done this is to remind us of jae won’s current relationship with well deep relationships. All of his relationships after his brother and up till ji hyun were surface level. Why? Because he lost someone who he loved so deeply in such a traumatic way, he couldn’t protect his brother, he couldn’t protect his love so he chooses to disassociate from human relationships. But he can’t do that with ji hyun, he’s on his path of loving ji hyun. HE TOLD HIM SOMETHING HE’S NEVER TOLD ANYONE EVER BEFORE, HE WANT TO BE A PHOTOGRAPHER AND ONLY HIS YOUNGER BROTHER KNEW THAT. JAE WON IS ALREADY TRUSTING AND LOVING JI HYUN ON ANOTHER LEVEL THAN ALL HIS CURRENT RELATIONSHIPS. And of course after this we cut to them getting even more intimate and in their boyfriend era in the hotel, that’s their future. The drowning scene is also their future. And how will jae won react to *potentially losing another loved one after just starting to open up again (JI HYUN WON’T DIE THOUGH). How will he handle the guilt and pain he feels when ji hyun ends up in a hospital bed because of them surfing together in deeper water when ji hyun can swim that well? How will ji hyun handle it this time around?

#idk if this makes sense #it’s 4am #and I’m sleep deprived #so this is probably not the most coherent post #but I just had to write this down before it completely escapes my mind #sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes #but they definitely hit the mark with this one #it’s such and interesting and compelling story #even the the plot is nothing new #but the storytelling is refreshing and exciting #i love it here #i love these two #jaewon x jihyun #jae won #ji hyun #the eighth sense #Korean drama #korean bl #lgbtq

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astoundingbeyondbelief · 10 months

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Kaiju Week in Review (June 25-July 8, 2023)

I picked a bad time to skip a week lol

Ultraman Blazar, the 35th entry in the Ultra Series, has made the scene. Episode 1 throws us right into a battle between humanity and a space monster. Blazar's the pushy type, all but forcing Gento to transform, but he doesn't speak Japanese—just yowls. For now, that makes him the show's central mystery. The show's defense team, SKaRD, won't actually form until the next episode, at which point we should have a better sense of it. But I'm intrigued so far.

Free streaming TV service Pluto TV has added a Godzilla channel. It boasts, or should soon boast, all of the Japanese Godzilla films minus King Kong vs. Godzilla and Shin Godzilla, plus Rodan, all the Mothra movies, The War of the Gargantuas, Godzilla (1998), and Godzilla: The Series. A Blu-ray.com user has composed a detailed rundown of the versions of the films used—short version, nothing we haven't seen before apart from a few small changes.

I got to see Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken before its official June 30 release date thanks to Regal's Monday Mystery Movie series. I guess I didn't retain much memory of the trailer, because it surprised me how early in the film the title character first grew into a kaiju. I can't give it an especially enthusiastic recommendation—comparisons to Luca and Turning Red are inevitable and don't flatter Ruby at all. But I get a kick out of seeing kaiju in such alien territory as a hyperactive animated kids' movie, and they continue to show off their flexibility as metaphors (Ruby is plainly neurodivergent). 7 outta 10.

Nimona dropped on Netflix the same day, and that's one anyone reading this column should sprint to watch. It saves its kaiju for the third act, and I've held off on posting much about that part of the story yet, but trust me, Ishiro Honda would be proud.

After years of lackluster Gorgo home video releases, Vinegar Syndrome seems poised to finally do it right in 4K Ultra HD. (If you're like me and don't have a way to watch such discs yet, don't worry, it comes with a Blu-ray.) New scan, new audio commentary, special features both new and old, and a killer cover. For those unfamiliar with the company, note that this release is "only available on [the Vinegar Syndrome] website and at select indie retailers. Absolutely no major retailers will be stocking them."

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Every episode of Chibi Godzilla Raids Again is now subtitled, a fine excuse to get acquainted with one of the Reiwa era's biggest surprises. No stakes, no budget, just a bunch of Toho's biggest stars acting like a bunch of fools.

There's always more Godzilla toy news than this column can hope to cover, but a few highlights:

Bandai's ever-expanding Movie Monster Series will release Gamera 1965, Gyaos 1967, and Battra larva later this month. The defunct Daiei Kaiju Series last offered a Showa Gamera in 2006, and never covered any of his foes from that era; here's hoping Gyaos is the first of many.

Hiya Toys now has the license to produce figures from the Toho Godzilla films, not just the Monsterverse.

Super7 will be selling ReAction figures of Godzilla chomping some helpless people on a subway train at San Diego Comic Con. They just get it (and hopefully the many of us who aren't going will have some way of getting it that doesn't involve scalpers).

The new unit in Godzilla Battle Line is Monster X/Keizer Ghidorah. The former evolves into the latter after his first death. Keizer is a heavy hitter with a twist: he regains 20% of his health with every defeated foe. Great against swarms, but you don't see too many of those these days.

Believe it or not (many are still in denial), but Pacific Rim turns 10 on Wednesday. Thankfully, per this Tweet from director Guillermo del Toro, the effective start of the Kaiju Renaissance (and one of my all-time favorite films) won't go unrecognized on its first big anniversary. I'm guessing a cast reunion?

More translations from Noah Oskow await on Toho Kingdom, these a collection of synopses of early versions of Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II, and Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla from the Toho DVDs. Much of this has been translated in greater detail already, but the later drafts are interesting.

#kaiju week in review #godzilla #ultraman blazar #gorgo #pacific rim #ruby gillman teenage kraken #kaiju

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linisiane · 1 year

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The Weird Diversity of Wednesday

While watching Wednesday, my brother and I were disappointed to see the darker skinned characters consistently used as bad guys or jokes!

The mean popular girl, the bully, the shady mayor, the pathetic nerd. It was WEIRD to see a darker skinned character get introduced, predict that they’re gonna be a minor antagonist, and then get proven correct every time. Obviously, that didn’t happen with the white/light-skin characters, who had the options of being bad guys and good guys.

The only exception was Eugene. Instead of being a villain, he got the chance to be the loser character that the show fridged for the latter half of its run time. (Excepting the finale, I presume, but I haven’t seen that episode, yet.) (Also, Deputy Santiago is a black woman who is just a deputy, but she’s also working with Sheriff Galpin, and she’s such a minor a character I forgot she existed. That one depends on your perspective.)

If you couldn’t tell by my “the option of being good guys and bad guys” comment, I don’t actually think dark skinned characters being bad guys is a problem. A person of any race or complexion should have the chance to be a bad guy because villains are fun and allow for complexity. (Also, more importantly, because race doesn’t determine morality.) In fact, I actually really love how the show delved deeper into the minor antagonists.

I love Bianca’s issues with her mother and her siren powers. I appreciate that the popular/beautiful queen bee isn’t a blonde white girl. I love the way the show humanizes the “mean girl” by demonstrating that she has more depth than her mean girl caricature, such as her talking with Wednesday at the dance about struggling with connection or her trying to save Lucas from getting scammed by her mom.

Lucas, similarly, is really fun as a villain. My brother and I got a kick out of how much game this guy had. Almost every girl he shared a screen with had chemistry or a mini-romance subplot with him! Go off, Casanova! I also liked that his reasons for attacking the dance wasn’t just cartoonish bigotry, but a human reaction to Wednesday kinda sorta enacting domestic terrorism at his dad’s ceremony. And it was cool to see him change and grow over the course of the season!

The show almost works! But it doesn’t, and Morticia’s scene with the mayor demonstrates why.

There’s a scene in this show where Morticia Addams, a white woman, tells a black man he has "no idea what it's like not to be believed."

Obviously the show was going for the “me-too” movement, identifying how her background as an outcast and a woman made her more vulnerable to victim blaming and disbelief. But it’s kind of crazy to me that they had her say that to a black man because black men have historically also had issues with being believed due to their marginalized status.

There is something to be said about how being a woman is different from being a man, how women are uniquely ignored, but Morticia, I’m sure the Mayor—as a black man in America—does have at least some awareness of what that’s like. Especially, especially, with the history of white women falsely accusing black men of crimes and getting them lynched or locked up because nobody would believe their word over a white woman’s.

It’s astounding that the show doesn’t address this context, and it makes the scene come off as ignorant. Almost willfully so. In fact, so much of this show felt like the reason they made “outcast” a marginalized social group was so that they could have white people be the victims of oppression with the most screen time on their tv show about marginalization, like they’re appropriating marginalized stories.

And this is consistent. They did this with LGBT+ themes, as well! Enid, a character who has no queer aspects to her character (only shown dating guys, no canon hints about same gender attraction), got an entire subplot about her mom trying to put her into “werewolf conversion therapy,” AND she got an entire scene where she told off her mom while wearing rainbow eyeshadow. Meanwhile, the actual LGBT content of the show consists entirely of two background characters (Eugene’s moms).

It honestly reminded me of the scene in the Vampire Diaries where Caroline, a vampire, gets electric shocks from her human dad, who is trying to use conversion therapy to turn her back into a human. Only, the dad character is ALSO canonically a gay man, for some reason.

Like, what is with this thing of creating fictional marginal statuses as a way to talk about social issues without actually involving said issues (no actual homophobia or colorism). Without actually creating main characters of real life marginalized status (no LGBT main characters). While also having the real life marginalized characters that do exist acting as the oppressors???? (Lucas, the Mayor, Caroline’s dad).

So yeah, the show is really interesting with its diversity. It almost works, as the stories it’s telling are cool and nuanced, but within the context of real life and the casting, the show is tone deaf. Plus, the show being somewhat produced and directed by Tim Burton (a guy who thinks that black characters must justify their blackness to exist in his works, and as a result, his works almost feature white people exclusively) does NOT help.

#wednesday netflix #wednesday 2022 #my thoughts #literary analysis #metas #meta #basically all the producers and directors except for 2 people are white #Disney's Luca does the same thing with marginalized fish monsters and background gay characters #I'd probably bandaid this by casting Xavier black #that has its own issues #the real solution would be having black people with creative control #so that they can catch structural issues like the stuff mentioned here #im not black so feel free to critique my critique if im saying something off here #@Tim Burton WHITE PEOPLE ARE NOT THE DEFAULT #Enid’s whole thing is giving me Queerbaiting vibes tbh #RWBY also did this with the Faunus #despite everything ive written i enjoyed wednesday a lot

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amseltv · 7 months

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Hello Tumblr

I have a project I've been working on that me and everyone who's worked on it had put so much love and effort into, and I'd love your help in boosting it!

It's called SMPTV and it's a horror Minecraft project akin to things like Unedited Footage Of A Bear, This House Has People In It, Don't Hug Me I'm Scared, Welcome Home and inspired by Generation Loss (As far as the streaming it live part goes.)

Don't let the Minecraft part stop you from watching it! I promise you've never seen anything like it, and we just use Minecraft as a cheap way to do something cool!

I'm so in love with how it's coming out and we aren't done yet! New episodes streamed every Wednesday at 7:30pm CST (with the last episode Tuesday the 31st Halloween night!) And fully edited episodes posted to my YouTube every Tuesday!

Watch the first video here!

youtube

And to keep up to date on lore, and updates follow the official twitter here!

I cannot express enough how cool this thing is and how much you'll love it! Spread the word! And if nothing else reblog this post to help me reach the right audience!

Thank you so much! I hope you love it!

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scrapyardboyfriends · 6 months

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Caught up on tuesday and wednesday's episodes...

The whole week just feels very gimmicky. Like, it's not a great ending to a rape story to begin with. And while they screwed up a lot of Vic's story by throwing her under the bus for Robert's exit, I still feel like the build up to Robert hitting Lee felt believable and grounded. And yes the actually episode was a bit silly with the Wild West stuff happening but it felt like a somewhat natural escalation of events with the idea that he was leaving the show.

This just feels like they really wanted to do both a whodunnit story and use it as a neat way to introduce a whole bunch of new stories. And like maybe it could have been but all of the stories kind of feel like they're coming out of nowhere. Not all of them, but those that don't annoy me anyway.

I mean everyone's been waiting for Tom to be evil but I feel like that's only because every person they bring in has some dark secret, plus they think that because he's Carl's son. Not that Carl was even truly evil until a retcon at the end. But people thought the same with Marcus being Pierce's son and that turned out to be nothing. So it could have again. It's impossible to say with these producers. But still, the way it all happened felt really contrived. I don't know, I look back at the progression of Pierce and Rhona's relationship and maybe Jonathan Wrather is just a much better actor, but there always felt like there was something off and too good to be true about Pierce and the build up to his being controlling and abusive felt believable. With Tom...he was just kind of weirdly intense about Carl and then pretty boring. And now they're throwing this in there? Unless it's going to go in a different direction.

The Aaron and Vinny stuff is just silly and dramatic for no reason. They just want angry Aaron so badly but it doesn't really make sense that he'd want all the money when he gave them everything in the first place. I get he'd be annoyed with Vinny for reporting back to Chas but it's all just a bit too extreme for no reason. I'm sure I'll miss Angry Aaron when he's back to crying and getting mediocre boyfriends but right now it's just kind of annoying.

This Caleb and Tracy affair is just ridiculous. I know people suspected them being the affair cause I don't know...they had a five minute conversation once about the nursery she's still trying to start. (which like...there are five billion kids in that village who are never seen and need looking after. surely she has a built in market there). But that kiss came out of absolutely nowhere. It felt like the insane Cain and Chrissie kiss except at least that lead to the spite dinner party. This is just going to continue to be absurd. And I mean...I feel like with an affair story you either want to be heartbroken about the couple that's getting destroyed, rooting for the affair couple, or at least excited for the juicy drama the reveal will cause. I feel none of those things with this. I couldn't care less about Nate and Tracy. I actively hate them together. I still can't believe they shoved them back together off screen. And now they're immediately having her cheat? Umm..okay. I'm certainly not rooting for Tracy and Caleb yet because it's come out of nowhere. And I really couldn't care less about the fallout. I'm sure I'll just be annoyed about it all.

The Mandy and Eric scenes were okay I guess. But we haven't even really seen Eric for ages. He's only been in about 30 episodes for the whole year. And I feel like the focus should have been on him and him finding out about this diagnosis instead of revealing it through a gimmicky Dingle whodunnit week and focusing more on Mandy crying with no context in front of her family. I'm sure they'll do better with it going forward and Chris is at least a decent actor, but an odd way to introduce it.

And then this dumb Gus/embryo story. I mean we all knew it was coming so it didn't come out of nowhere but again...reintroducing it during the big Dingle week and making it something Marlon is now hiding because we can't have anyone be honest with their partners can we? I mean we'll have to deal with Eric lying to Brenda next week and her almost cheating on him until she finds out the truth. I don't know...it's just so much contrived nonsense.

Again, it's not a terrible idea to use something like this to introduce new stories but I just don't feel like any of them have been introduced well. And I'm a bit tired of seeing that rotating shot overhead looking down at the Dingles in the pub. They've been really obsessed with repeated shots and flashbacks in this last two big weeks. I need them to stop. Like I didn't need to see multiple flashbacks to that Tracy and Caleb kiss.

Sigh.

It's too bad it wasn't all a gimmicky week to bring Robert back. Then I would have been all for it. Haha

#emmerdale complaints corner #belated live blogging #ed lb

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aboysbestfriendishismum · 8 months

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Chapter 61 - Shirts, questions and the Fonz with a moustache

In the previous chapter: Jerry goes on his blind date and meets Heather. Surprisingly, she too reveals that she's not interested in meeting guys at the moment. Realizing that they are very similar and in the same situation, she convinces Jerry to pretend that the two of them are dating so as to be left alone by their respective friends. During a question-and-answer game between Stone and Grace, the two discuss how she hasn't let him sleep with her in her bed yet due to her insecurities. In the end Stone manages to calm her down and convince her to take this step with him. Eddie and Angie finally manage to spend an evening together, with pizza and horror movies. Eddie tries again to make her change her mind about Cameron Crowe's film and reveals that for him it's a special occasion: exactly one month has passed since their first kiss. Angie feels guilty because she hadn't thought about the anniversary at all, not being used to this type of things in her past relationships.

***

He fills me up, he gives me love More love than I've ever seen He's all I got, he's all I got in this world But he's all the man that I need

To a casual observer this scene might seem surreal, I must admit. If my life was a TV series and today's episode began with this scene from this morning, as a viewer, a thousand alarm bells would go off for me, ranging from "It's an alternative reality resulting from time travel gone wrong” to “A catastrophe is just about to happen.” Because me, Angie Pacifico, making pancakes on a Wednesday morning, still in my robe despite having class in just over an hour, dancing to the top 100 on the radio and singing (destroying) Whitney Houston is not something you see every day. I actually turned the volume up for Eddie because I suspect that I-never-sleep-I-only-live-at-night-in-san-diego-I-went-surfing-at-the-crack-of-dawn guy has no intention of getting out of bed. This morning I opened my eyes before my killer alarm clock and I promptly deactivated it to let him rest. I took the fastest and quietest shower ever and now I'm here. Since we are always in a rush and don't spend time together regularly, it seemed like a nice thing to prepare a nice breakfast to spoil him a little and be able enjoy a few more minutes together, sitting at a table, talking and joking, rather than sharing the usual quick bye and go each their own way. And I'm also including Meg in this because, with the end of school approaching, the tattoo thing and all the side jobs she's taking on to supplement her income, even having a nice chat with my roommate has become complex. I thought the smell of breakfast and coffee would be enough to give Ed a sweeter good morning than my hated alarm clock, but I was wrong. I pour another big scoop of dough into the pan and smile when I hear the sound of the shower water running, thinking that my melodious chanting has done its duty, but I immediately change my mind when I hear Meg's voice singing along to the chorus of Freedom 90. Well, if I didn't make it, she'll take care of throwing him out of bed with the help of George Michael.

I take the plate with all the pancakes and put it in the center of the table, the bottle of chocolate syrup is already there. Since I don't want to be seen as someone who only eats junk, I decide to also get some yogurt and fruit, which always goes well on pancakes. I head towards the fridge dancing, but not before shouting EVERYBODY DANCE NOW! together with the radio. I stick my head into the fridge and when I back up and close the door I almost have a heart attack and almost project yogurt and berries on to the ceiling.

"EDDIE!"

"Hey," he says to me, leaning against the doorframe, sleepy and smiling.

"WHAT THE FUCK" I leave everything on the table safely and regain color.

"Good morning to you too, kitten"

"Fucking kitten, you appear like this out of nowhere, you scared the fuck out of me!"

"Forgive me, I didn't want to scare you. It's just that… you were all focused on dancing, I couldn't interrupt you" he explains with that adorable stupid face that… nothing, I have class in an hour, I can't think about these things .

“How long have you been there?”

"A little while" he's still standing at the kitchen door. Still standing there in just his boxers and his black and red plaid button down shirt. I repeat, Angie , YOU CAN'T THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.

"You could have found an alternative and gentler way to announce your presence, right?" I go back to the unlit stove and pretend to turn it off, then move to the sink and pretend to fiddle with something else until I feel his hands on my shoulders.

"And miss this show? I'm not that stupid" he kisses my cheek and then rests his chin on my right shoulder.

"The ideal show for a traumatic awakening. Hey, be careful or you'll get burnt, it's still hot" I warn him when I see him reach out for the pan, perhaps to put it to wash.

"I'm already on fire anyway" he puts everything in the sink and then hugs me from behind, leaning on me again.

"Eheheh what?"

“Do you have any idea how sexy you were?” he whispers as his fucking grabby hands do the work.

"Am I sexy in the kitchen? At the stove? In one of the stereotyped roles in which the most vulgar sexism imprisons women?" I turn towards him in an attempt to get him off me, but with little success.

“I actually meant dancing in a robe, but honestly this is even fucking better” very poor considering now he's just grabbed at my ass and his mouth is getting dangerously close to my sweet spot on my neck.

"Oh ok so… years of struggles for women's emancipation reduced to a fetish? Feminism that exists only for the sexual gratification of you, straight white man?"

"Stop it or I'll have to fuck you here and now" he backs away from my neck just long enough to point this thing out in my ear, and then goes back to his actions.

"Eheh, you can't anyway" I push him away perhaps too impulsively, I turn around again and start filling the sink with water and then take the dish detergent.

"Why?" please, Eddie, you're not helping right now.

"Because… because Meg is over there…" and again, his hands on my hips "And then we have to eat and I have to go to class"

"Ok, wait," Eddie turns off the tap, takes my hand and, pushing me into a sort of pirouette, forces me to turn towards him again "point A"

"Haha, you even have points ready first thing in the morning!"

"I was born ready. Point A: Meg is over there, she's not here" first he looks towards the door, then directs his eye back towards me and winks.

"But she can arrive at any moment" I reply, but I'm not as quick to fight against his hands, which start unbuttoning my robe.

"We just need to pay attention when we hear Mariah Carey coming over," he jokes, making fun of the song she's singing now.

"What if we're too distracted?" I close a button, he unbuttons two.

"Point B:" he continues, not caring about my objections, "we can still eat... after..."

"After what?" he just looks up to smile at me, without a word.

"Point C: I'll give you a ride to class so you won't be late" and there go two more buttons.

"But-" I try to protest, not so strongly. He silences me by kissing me, softly, but with a certain firmness, and now my robe is completely open.

"Come on, let's go to your room, five minutes"

"It will never be five minutes, Eddie"

"Wanna bet?" my robe is on the floor and his hands are under my pajama top, threatening to send that flying too. Until a detail belatedly catches my attention.

"Eddie, da-… um, sorry, but what are you wearing?"

"I'm overdressed, right? I'll fix in a sec!" he wiggles his eyebrows like an idiot, starts to take off his shirt, but I stop him.

"No, I mean, don't you see what you've got on? Didn't you notice?" I start laughing and this very moment he start to give in a little and lets go of me. I take the opportunity to pull myself together and retrieve my dressing gown from the floor.

"What is it? Did I put it on backwards?" he looks at his shirt without understanding, and then looks at me, sulkily, when I put my robe back on.

"No, you put it on just right, but it's mine, can't you see?" I reveal by caressing his chest (Jesus!) with the excuse of pointing out the pockets on the front of my checked shirt, very similar to his "Yours doesn't have these"

"Oh shit, in the daze of waking up I must have taken yours instead of mine, they look the same"

"How did you not notice? Can't you see that it's a girl's shirt? The buttons are on the other side" I button up a couple of them and in doing so I notice how comfortable my shirt looks on him. Very comfy. Too comfy. He swims in it. It's obvious he didn't notice, if I was a nice size SMALL or EXTRASMALL he wouldn't be able to fit a single arm in this fucking shirt. But no, he didn't pay attention to it, because his girlfriend is a heavyweight. Well he should have noticed for the opposite reason, that is that he could fit his whole band in that shirt.

"Ah! That's why I couldn't fucking button it up! I felt stupid, for a moment I thought I was stoned or was having an aneurysm or something hahaha"

"You're insane" I shake my head and take the plates to put them on the table, turning my back to him to not to show him my face, darkened by the previous thoughts. Why does my brain always have to ruin the best moments?

"I know, I know. Anyway it's comfortable and it smells like you, I think I'll keep it. Can I?" I turn around in puzzlement and when I look at him he takes the hems of the shirt and closes them tightly over his chest, miming a hug. Then he shoves his nose against the fabric of the sleeve and pretends to be inebriated by my perfume, emitting a dramatic satisfied sigh.

“Which shitty romantic comedy did you come from, can you explain?” I look at him perplexed and on the inside I thank him for making me forget my fucking negative thoughts in a second.

"I'm not romantic and I'm not funny" he replies very seriously.

"And in any case the cliché should be the other way around: in any self-respecting romance flick, it's the girl who gets up in the morning and puts on her man's shirt or t-shirt. And he obviously enjoys the view"

"And since when do you respect gender clichés? Why is it always the male eye only that needs to be pleased?" he leans back on the kitchen counter and as he does so the edges of his shirt widen again.

"Shut up or I'll have to… um… jump on you here and now" I half-quote his line from earlier.

"...said the girl, giving him an excellent reason not to stop at all." Eddie walks up to me again in a threatening way (yeah, okay…), but this time it goes badly for him. I think I've never loved and hated Mariah Carey at the same time as much as now.

"Somedaaay Hey Heeeey! Oh hi guys, good morning" Meg enters the kitchen and I don't know if she doesn't notice me and Eddie because her attention is all on the table or if she's just pretending.

"HI"

"Good morning Meg" Eddie and I drift apart like two magnets placed in front of each other. He turns around trying to fasten the remaining buttons on his/my shirt, even though they're backwards, while I dedicate myself to distributing the pancakes on the plates.

“Did I interrupt something?” I correct myself, she noticed and doesn't even pretend she didn't, while she squeezes chocolate onto her pancakes.

“Yes, a debate about feminism” Eddie gives me a flying kiss on the cheek and sits down at the table.

"You can't just flirt like normal couples, huh?" Meg winks at me as I sit down too, resigned to her comments.

"We're not normal individually, let alone as a couple" observes Eddie and he's not entirely wrong. He also goes for the chocolate syrup, so the only one who will give a change to the yogurt will be me, obviously.

“Anyway, when are you going to ask him him to move in here with us?” Meg looks at me first and then, this time, the wink is for Eddie.

"What??"

"So we'll have the cool breakfast every morning"

"If you want pancakes, just ask, no need to get Eddie involved" I mutter as he and Meg laugh loudly at my expense.

“Did you call Crowe?” Meg gives me another jab when she's halfway through her pancakes and it's clear that I'm her favorite target this morning.

"No, I didn't call him"

"And when will you call him?"

"Well, I don't know, I-"

"If you want, I'll take care of it," Eddie saves me in every sense, intervening in the conversation and pouring me some more coffee into the half-empty cup, "I'll tell him when I see him"

"You tell him Angie accepts?!" Meg remains with her fork in mid-air in front of her open mouth and is about to have a bitter surprise.

"Actually, no. I mean, I understood no, or maybe I'm wrong?" Eddie looks alternately between my roommate and me.

"No, you're not wrong, as I already told you, I have decided to refuse" I reassure him and prepare for hell.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Meg drops her fork on her plate and looks at me reproachfully.

"Because, as I already, told you multiple times, it's not for me"

"And you? Don't you have anything to tell her?" Eddie, who evidently appreciated my culinary efforts because he has already cleaned his plate polishing off every crumbs, pauses for a few seconds, keeping the napkin over his mouth before speaking.

"Um? Me? Why? What should I say?"

"What should you say?! Convince her, right?" Meg looks at both of us like we're idiots.

"Well, we talked about it. Personally I think it's a great opportunity, but if Angie doesn't feel like doin'g it, then she shouldn't do it. I don't want to put pressure on her or anything like that." Eddie gets up, puts the plate in the sink along with the cup, after finishing his coffee.

"I, on the other hand, really wanna put all the pressure on you. I mean, without an external push you would never do a damn thing, you wouldn't even be here! And then I think you're making a huge mistake by saying no! And you should tell her too, if you care about her" my friend shuffles in her seat, she didn't expect to find herself in the minority.

"I do care. And since I care I want her to be free to choose what to do. If she took part to the movie just to make us happy, it would be useless. At least, that's what I think." Eddie explains his thesis and then approaches me again and gives me another quick kiss on the lips "I'm going to shower and get dressed. With the right clothes this time"

I look at him dreamily as he leaves the kitchen and walks away, until I meet Meg's questioning gaze.

"Hehe it's because he wore the wrong shirt, he wore mine instead of his... because in the dark they looked the same to him eheh"

"This is not the explanation I'm looking for"

"What do you mean?"

"What did you tell him?"

"Him who?"

"Eddie! He's suddenly so careful not to offend your feelings, what did you say to him?" he crosses his arms and looks at me defiantly.

“What makes you think I said anything to him?”

"I know you. And, even if a little less, I know him too"

"Can't it be that he just believes what he said?"

"No. He didn't believe it when he forced you to play basketball with the band, play drums at Cameron's party, go up the Space Needle, make out in front of an entire club full of people for two hours. I don't see why he would have changed his mind now, unless you intervened in some way" Meg aggressively counts my adventures on her fingers.

“Aren't you going to finish your pancakes?”

"No, I won't give you the slightest culinary satisfaction until you speak" and she knows that it bothers me a lot, she's using strong methods.

"But I have nothing to say"

"What did you tell him?"

"Nothing"

"What did you really tell him?"

"Hahaha NOTHING!"

“Did you promise him sexual favors?”

"He's my boyfriend, he already has my favors, I don't need to promise anything to him"

"Maybe favors that are... a little kinkier than usual?"

"No!"

"Just tell me then or these pancakes are gonna end up in the bin" Meg takes the plate, gets up and stands in front of the dustbin.

"You wouldn't dare"

"Wanna bet?" maintaining eye contact with me, she slowly puts her foot on the bin's pedal and the lid opens up with a click.

"Well, it's not like I told him anything specific…"

"HA! You did say something to him, then?!" the lid closes, but she doesn't move.

"I talked to him about the fact that I wouldn't be comfortable being an actress"

"Mmmm"

"And that I would have too many lines to memorize"

"And?"

"That the presence of Tim Burton would have put me in difficulty"

"Okay... and?"

"And that I would have been hypercritical and would never want to see that film again if I had been in it… Maybe, due to the trauma, I would never set foot on a movie set again"

"Only that?" Meg's little foot still rests on the pedal of the dustbin.

"Only that?! I basically told him that it could put my entire career at risk."

"Okay. And then, what else did you tell him?" Meg doesn't give up and I feel I'm about to capitulate, I have no other choice.

“And well, I may have added some plot details…”

"THERE YOU GO. Tell me about these details" Meg realized she finally had me in her under her thumb and she sits back down at the table, placing the plate in front of her.

"I might have told him that, while skimming through the script, I had read of something I didn't feel like doing"

“What the hell of a story did you make up, Angie?” my friend shakes her head and grabs her fork again.

"I didn't invent anything! I just told him that at a certain point I thought I saw a scene with…"

"With…?"

"With a kiss"

"A KISS?!"

"A kiss, a very long one"

"AHAHAHAHAH YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH!" Meg doesn't hold back and laughs holding her belly.

"Look, it's true! There is a kiss! There are several! Just, um, not exactly in my scene"

"WHAT A BAD BITCH!"

“And since I mentioned this to Eddie, he suddenly became very understanding of my insecurities.”

"YOU DON'T SAY?! Who knows why?" Meg dives back into the pancakes, but not before adding some more chocolate syrup.

"You won't tell him anything, right?"

"Look, I would be tempted because for me you are a fool to refuse a part in the film and I would involve anyone to convince you, but…"

"But?"

"But I love your perfidiousness in this thing too much to let you get caught"

"I'm not evil!"

"No, you're just a little budding manipulator who cunningly uses someone else's weakness for her own gain… Little Angie is growing up! I could almost start crying" Meg feigns emotion and wipes away some fake tears with her napkin.

"Ahaha I didn't manipulate Eddie"

"You used his jealousy to make him do what you wanted, how do you call it?"

"I just striked some chords…"

"You pulled the right strings!" Meg gets up and puts the plate in the sink with the rest.

"I don't know if you're trying to play with my conscience to get me to tell Eddie the truth and accept the part or if you actually appreciate my little dishonest ploy."

"Mmm a bit of both!" Meg leaves the kitchen and retrieves her jacket and bag, I join her at the door "Anyway, in the end, even if manipulated, Eddie is right: it's you who decides. It's just that... I would have loved to brag a bit and say Hey, my friend is in that movie!"

"Half the people you know will be in that movie. Anyway, once I become a successful author, you can say Hey, my friend wrote that!"

"I can't wait! Alright, see you tonight at Roxy's"

"Ok see ya"

"Did you follow me to the door to say bye or to make sure I wouldn't go and tell Eddie"

"Hahaha to say bye! You would never do that. At least, not now that he's in the shower"

"Well, I could if I wanted to, you're not the jealous one in the couple" he winks at me and opens the door.

"Bye Meg"

"Besides, I've already seen him in his underwear, so" she's about to leave, but she comes back and shrugs at me.

"BYE" I close the door in her face as a joke and she holds it open with one foot.

"And my friends' boyfriends are all like women to me"

"JUST GO IT'S LATE, SEE YOU TONIGHT!"

The woodworm that Meg has just tried to put in my head about my unfair attitude towards Eddie doesn't even have time to creep into my thoughts when the phone starts ringing.

"Hello"

"…" on the other side just silence.

"Hello?" I repeat and actually I seem to hear noises through the receiver. It's not a noisy line, it's mora like someone is waiting in silence with the receiver in their hand.

"Is anyone there or not?" the moment I clearly perceive a breath I freeze. I look around to figure out where Eddie is, because I can't hear the sound of the shower water anymore, but I don't see him around. I go peek in my room and it's not there, so he's probably finished the shower, but he's still in the bathroom.

"Is it you?"

"…" still nothing.

"Do you need anything? Do you need money?" I ask in a low voice, but without getting any answer, except for an abrupt termination of the phone call.

I exhale deeply, as if I've been holding my breath for a while, and maybe I really have. I drop the phone on the table, take my plate and put it in the sink along with everything else. I glance at the clock. No, I don't have time now, I'll wash them later today.

A new ring of the phone makes me jump, I look at it for a while without doing anything, but then I decide to answer, if only to prevent Eddie from becoming suspicious and coming out here to see what's happening and why no one answers the phone.

"HELLO?!"

"Hey, good morning to you too! What happened? Did you wake up with a bad case of the grumpies this morning?" the response on the other end, this time, puts me in a completely different mood.

"Hi mom! No, everything's ok"

"I mean, it sounded like you wanted to maul whoever was on the other end of the phone…"

"No, it's just… there's someone having fun making prank calls this morning. They call and don't speak, without even a bit of imagination, at least they could come up with something more articulated"

"Like, if you have to bother me, at least use creativity"

"Exactly"

"Okay, how are you? Sorry I'm calling you this early, but at least I'm sure I'd find you"

"No problem, you did well. In fact, you barely found me because I have to go to class soon" I walk up to my room to get the clothes to put on, waiting for Eddie to come out of the bathroom.

"That's it, exactly. I'll end up having to make an appointment to talk to you on the phone"

"Don't worry, I still have time, we can have our fulfilling mother-daughter conversation"

"Good girl. So how are you? How did your holidays go?"

“Well, I worked a lot!”

"It's a shame they're called holidays…"

"Okay, I also rested and did a lot of things that I've had pending for ages! I defrosted the fridge, I cleaned the chandeliers, I washed all the carpets…" I go back to the corridor while I recall all the steps of the great house cleaning.

"What a strange concept of rest"

"Ugh, I went out with Meg and the others too, I haven't been home all day"

"I had no doubts. And how is Eddie?"

"Eddie is-" he almost caught me off guard "Why are you asking me about Eddie? And more importantly, how do you know him?" yeah, how do you know the guy who just came out of the bathroom covered only by a short towel tied not very firmly at the waist that could fall at any moment and who winked at me before slipping into my room.

"Oh your father told me about him"

"Did he tell you about him? What did he tell you?" the guy who slips into the room without closing the door, takes off the towel and… NO, ANGIE, YOU DON'T HAVE TIME AND YOU'RE ON THE PHONE WITH YOUR MOTHER, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

"Yeah, I mean, he told me that you have a friend called Eddie and that he met him."

“It happened months ago, why are you asking me about my friends now?” and why Eddie, would be the real question. But I don't want to get too carried away and make her suspicious.

"No, I'm just looking at the photos your father took when he came to visit you…"

"Ah, the famous photos that I haven't seen yet" I lock myself in the bathroom and put it on speakerphone, so I can brush my teeth in the meantime.

"Well, because he only developed them now! Forgive him, he's been very busy with work, I've barely seen him too"

"I know, I know, it's just that he told me he would send them to me"

"In fact, he's going to send them to you exactly this morning. Which would also be the reason why I called you, to tell you this"

"Oh great! Thank him"

"And… you know, since I have a photo of you with Eddie right in front of me right now, he came to my mind, just like this"

"Totally random"

"Right. Anyway, how is he?" He's fine, mom, thanks. He spent the night with me and now he is naked in my room.

"Good! From what I know, at least. I mean, the band is recording the album, I don't see them as often as before" well done, Angie. Plural. Go with plural.

“But you told me earlier that you hung out with the guys during spring break.”

"Yes, of course, but I haven't seen them in a while now. However, they're happy, Stone told me that everything is going well." Was using Stone as a diversion from Eddie a good move?

"Ah! So you've seen Stone more than Eddie!" no, it's not good at all.

"I saw them equally, mom, don't get any strange ideas, I thought I made myself clear enough at Christmas" I snort and start taking off my dressing gown and pajamas.

"Very clear! You know what? The pictures are very beautiful, you'll see. Now I'll get dad for you, he has to tell you something"

"Okay?" my father? What does he have to tell me? He won't ask me about Eddie too, will he?

"Bye Angie, call me next time so I don't bother you, okay?"

"You're not mad because I'm talking to you while getting ready and doing something else in the meantime, are you?" I get dressed quickly, the only thing I forgot to take are the boots, but I can put them on later.

"No, but call! Okay, here's your father"

"Bye"

"Hey Angie!"

"Hi Dad"

"Today I'm sending you all the photos I took when I came to Seattle. Sorry if I'm late but it's been a mess. I've practically been living in the darkroom for weeks"

"Don't worry. How did they turn out?" I put my pajamas in the laundry hamper, throw my robe over my shoulder and, with the phone still on loudspeaker in my hand, I leave the bathroom.

"Not to brag, but they turned out great! Both the ones from the concerts and those from the beach party. I got a nice box here, ready to be shipped"

"Fine, now come out of the dark room and spend some time with mom" when I enter the room I waste no time, I put my dressing gown on the chair and run to cover Eddie's mouth before he can make any sound.

"Don't worry, I'll do that!"

"Did you want to tell me something else? Mom already told me about the pictures" when I'm sure he understood and he nods at me, I release my grip on Eddie's mouth and go and sit on the bed to put on my boots, with my back towards him.

"Yes, I wanted to ask you: do you know Nirvana?"

"Yes, they are a band from around here, I even saw them twice in concert"

"Not as a band, do you know them personally?"

“Um well, not really.”

"What do you mean? Do you know them or not?"

"I know them by sight! Mostly the drummer…" damn, why did I say that?? I quickly turn around and see Eddie has stopped right in the middle of zipping up his pants and is glaring at me "and I exchanged a few words with the bassist, I know who the singer is but that's it"

"Oh because they know you"

"What? And how do you know?" Why do I feel he's not about to tell me anything good? And why the fuck did I keep it on speakerphone? I can't take it off now or it would look like I want to hide things from Eddie.

"They played here in Boise a few days ago"

"Really?"

"At The Zoo" the management guys must have thought it was a real zoo and wanted to send Kurt there, for sure.

"And you went to see them? Weren't you busy with work?" after eternal moments I start tying my boots again and Eddie finally zips up his fly.

"You know what they say, too much work and no play…"

"Yes, and then you end up chasing your family with a hatchet"

"Exactly. Great concert anyway, pure energy! I took few photos unfortunately. The next day I bought the album. They also played some new tracks from the album which has yet to be released"

"And what do I have to do with all this?" if he bought Dave a drink too, I swear I'll scream. What the fuck is that? Does my dad have some kind of radar for my exes now? And he has to talk about it right now with Eddie listening?

"Oh because at one point on stage the singer said something about how it was their first time playing in Idaho and that so far they didn't know anyone from around here, except for a girl who's actually from our town. And he said that he will have to find another nickname for their friend, but it was a quick and rather cryptic conversation that I didn't quite understand. Do you know anything about it?"

"Mmm I have no clue honestly" Eddie looks at me and bursts out laughing, I signal him to be quiet and he covers his face with his hands.

"But you're the friend, aren't you?"

"I don't think so," a friend of that jerk?? I'd rather gouge my eyes out with my bare hands "I wonder who he was talking about, there must be other people from Boise who moved to Seattle, I'm not that special, you know?"

"That's why I asked you if you knew them…"

"Yes, but only by sight and they don't know where I'm from, they don't even know my name eheh" Eddie uncovers his face and makes a noise as if to say Yes, of course!

"Oh well, it's just a coincidence then"

"Of course it is"

"Ok, I'll leave you now. I'll go to the post office and then to the editorial office"

"Okay. Bye and good luck with your work"

"And say hello to Meg"

"Alright"

"And Eddie" Eddie looks at me and explodes into a toothy smile, while he waves hello with his little hand in the direction of the phone.

“Go-why Eddie?”

"No reason, he just came to my mind"

“Let me guess: you got one of his pictures right in front of your eye right now, right?” well, now Eddie will think that in my house there is a little altar with a picture of him, flowers and candles and that my parents pray on it every single morning.

"Hehe, actually yes! Say hello to him when you see him, ok? He's a good boy"

"I will. Bye dad"

“Bye Ray,” Eddie replies to himself as soon as I hang up.

"If they had heard you, I would have killed you!"

"Pff overreacting as usual…" now fully dressed, he comes and sits next to me on the bed.

"Ha! Don't even think about it, it's late and we have to rush to the university"

"I don't know what you're talking about, I just wanted to get this" all cocky, he reaches under the bed and pulls out his backpack.

"Sure"

"I'm a good boy"

"Okay, if the good boy is ready, it's time to go"

"Ok let's go"

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"How do you say Can I have your number in Swiss?"

"There's no such thing as Swiss, Mike" the girl from the staff just opened the door to the dressing rooms, just long enough to tell us Soundcheck in zehn Minuten, and that idiot has already fallen in love.

"What do you mean? So what do they speak in this hell of a country?"

"Where are we now, that is Zurich, they speak German" I just give him the key concept, we have a soundcheck to do and I'm not in the mood to explain Swiss multilingualism to my bass player.

"Okay, how do you say it in German?"

"Ask them in English, you'll see they understand you anyway" Layne gets up and motions to Starr, the only one sitting, to do the same and follow him.

"The whole world speaks English" says Sean the wise.

"You should have learned it by now, after the shitty show the other night in Düsseldorf" Layne opens the dressing room door and goes out, followed closely by us, remembering our nice little mishap the day before yesterday, when Mike al most got us killed. A typical Alice in Chains Monday night, in short.

"AGAIN? Look, I made a fucking comment in a fucking bar full of people, I thought you barely heard me, let alone those guys!" Mike isn't entirely wrong, there was an absurd mess in that karaoke bar. I don't know how the fuck we ended up there, I think it was just the closest source of alcohol on the way between the concert venue and the place we were sleeping at. We were all shitfaced when a guy in a leather jacket and sunglasses, who had just destroyed The show must go on on stage, passed by us. The very second as Mike noticed an unexpected resemblance.

"We all thought he didn't look anything like Freddie Mercury, but we kept it to ourselves instead of shouting it from the rooftops!"

"But it was so him! It was the Fonz with a moustache! What the fuck did I say? I said nothing bad, I didn't call him an idiot"

"Actually the exact words were Such an asshole, rather than Freddie Mercury, he looks like the Fonz with a mustache ah ah ah"

"Okay, he only heard the second part though"

"And thank goodness, otherwise he and his friends would have kicked us all the way inside the hotel, instead of stopping outside"

We arrive on stage and start with the rehearsals without getting lost in further chatter. We're here to play four songs in front of a couple of thousand people who don't give a shit about us and who can't wait for us to get off our balls and enjoy the Megadeth concert, of which we are the support band. But for us it's fucking life, playing is playing, as long as they put us on a stage, we'll do it with anyone and in front of any audience. I mean, we've opened for everyone from fucking Poison to Iggy Pop in just the space of one year. In this Andy and I were really on the same wavelength. I remember the nights spent fantasizing about our imaginary future concerts in stadiums and temples of rock. "Madison Square Garden? I'll even go there with the fucking Warrant just to play there!" I can still hear him say. I miss him so fuckin' much. Well, at least I like Megadeth even though maybe neither they nor their fans like me. We are at the fourth date of this European tour and we still haven't even exchanged a word. Let's say we almost didn't even see them. And the people? Well, if they're cold that's fine, when it's bad then they'll just throw shit at us on stage. If Angie were here, she'd suggest we put up a protective net like in the Blues Brothers… Well, thank goodness the soundcheck is over because I'm getting melancholic as fuck and I need a fucking beer. Without speaking we all leave and go out in the same direction, straight towards the nearest bar, hoping this isn't karaoke too. When I see a phone booth on the other side of the road, however, I can't help but take action and take a small detour.

"I have to… um I have to make a phone call, see you later"

“Can't you call from the bar? I'm pretty sure they have a phone there too”

"Oh no, Mike, he can't! Can't you see the young gentleman here doesn't want to be heard? It's so obvious!" Sean is already on the starting blocks of taking the piss out of yours truly.

"But who do you have to call? The same girl from yesterday?"

"From yesterday and the day before yesterday…" continues the drummer.

"But what about minding your own business?"

"And who is this girl? Aren't you going to tell us?"

"Layne knows her, she's a friend of Dem" Kinney is super informed on the facts, as I imagined Layne held back, but not completely and let the minimum slip. Excellent.

"I cultivate the noble art of minding my own fuckin' business, so I don't know anything"

"Well done Layne!" I pat my buddy on the shoulder and start to walk away again.

"Well done my ass, we're worried about you!"

"Speak for yourself, I'm very calm and I just want the booze" and this too was predictable from Sean. By now I could write everyone's parts in our dialogues, I know them like the back of my hand.

"Don't listen to him, you are our brother! You just miraculously emerged from the disaster with Angie, you know... and now you're going to get yourself in trouble in yet another serious affair with someone else??"

"Who told you this is serious?"

"If it's worth three intercontinental calls, it's serious for me"

"Come on, she's someone he's just met, she's fresh and he wants to keep her interested, right?"

"I see you already know everything so I have nothing else to add, see you later" I walk away amidst the shouts and whistles of my companions and I see them proceed shuffling towards the bar from inside the booth.

I take the small address book from the inside pocket of my jacket and obviously I open it to the first page, to the letter A. I know I should flip on through it, but I can't, it's as if I'm stuck, as if I'm short-circuiting for a few seconds . I put what I think it's the equivalent of our tonight's salary in coins into the phone and dial the wrong number on purpose. What time will it be the now? Like 9 or 10 in the morning, maybe she's not even home.

"Hello" but she's fucking there instead.

"Hello?" she repeats and at that point I realize that I haven't spoken, because in reality I thought I'd answered and told her that it was me and that I'm in a break between soundcheck and concert and that I called her because, for a change, I was thinking about her .

"Is anyone there or not?" I think I can hear myself telling her about the Fonz with the moustache, about the more than necessary protective net for our stage, about Mike who last night was about to pick up a girl who told him she was in her third year at Gymnasium, thinking it meant she was a gym freak, before I saved him by explaining that she was a fucking high school student.

"Is it you?" I'm panicking because I got caught like an idiot. After all, who else would call her and then give her the silence treatment? And from abroad too… I'm such an asshole.

"Do you need help? Do you need money?" at this point it's as if I wake up from some kind of fucking hypnosis and suddenly hang up the phone. Money? Why would Angie think I'm calling her for money? The answer is simple: she didn't catch me at all and she thought I was someone else. But who? Who could call her in the morning asking for money? What kind of mess did she get herself into? When I leave the phone booth I remember that I forgot to call Heather like we agreed, but who cares after all? The guys think I did it, in the end it's the gesture that counts. I join the band at the bar counter with a head full of questions.

The questions run through my head until the concert and even during and after that. In the end the show didn't go bad at all, apart from a few painless coins thrown, the audience also reacted well. You can see that the Swiss are more polite! And I was proven wrong twice tonight because, as soon as we got off the stage, we were immediately intercepted by David Elleffson and Marty Friedman of Megadeth who complimented us, confessing that they had no idea who the fuck we were before they heard us and that in their opinion we rock the asses, even if our name doesn't sound very good to them. We all spent the evening together drinking, smoking and talking bullshit, especially them, because at a certain point Marty said that they want to propose us as the opening band for the mega tour they will do with Slayer and Anthrax once they return home and in my opinion it was the drugs talking. Not that we don't deserve it, on the contrary! Well, I'll wait and see what happens, it would be cool, but I don't want to day dream for nothing. I prefer to take things as they come, day by day. But who the fuck calls you to ask you for money first thing in the morning? Maybe it's just a friend in need that Angie is helping because she always has to help everyone? Or maybe not…

#grunge fanfiction #pearl jam fanfiction #eddie vedder #pearl jam #alice in chains #jerry cantrell #layne staley #mike starr #sean kinney #chapters #oh hi by the way

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