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lgbtqia-representation · 3 years

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Marginalization within the LGBTQIA+ Community

Sexuality has and always will be a hotspot of discussion for everyone because of how central it is to anyone’s life; so then why is it that certain communities are still ostracized? Within any realm, there are people who perfectly fit into the bubble and others who seemingly never fit into it. While the LGBTQIA+ community, even by its ever-extending name alone, strives for inclusion there are sadly some aspects that are still less accepted within it, and even more so within society. “Pride, the one place that is supposed to be a safe haven for people of all sexual orientations is all too often a place where they must battle the same misconceptions that they encounter among heterosexual people.” (Allen)

Bisexual

Despite ironically being part of the original acronym “LGBT”, bisexuals have never really been part of it. “That June 2018 YouGov data shows that 20 percent of Americans now identify as something other than “completely heterosexual” or “completely homosexual.” That would amount to about 65 million people—a population approaching the size of California and Texas combined.” (Allen)

This community is large and vastly growing in representation each year at Pride events worldwide. Yet ironically the community faces two starkly different complications. First, the idea that bisexuality is simply a phase. People constantly assume that the individual claiming to be bisexual is simply indecisive about their own orientation. Even mass media like “The L Word”, a lesbian central TV show with hints at bisexualism, makes comments along the lines of, “Pick a side”. While the show has all sorts of other redeeming qualities, comments sadly are still highly remembered and affect the community.

Secondly, building off the first part, that because they are “just a phase” there is not a community for them of likeminded individuals. A bisexual is heavily affected by interpretation. For this example, we will assume the bisexual is a woman. If she shows up to an event with a current female partner, it is assumed she is lesbian. Whereas if she shows up with a male partner, she is assumed to be straight. In no situation does the individual get properly identified as a bisexual. This leaves them as dissociated from the community as a large based on who they are currently dating. “This hunger for representation from what is, in fact, a statistical majority of the LGBT community speaks to the fact that bisexual people face discrimination both from within that community and from the world at large.” (Allen)

Organizations like #StillBisexual work to connect the community through inspiring stories that shine a light on real issues from real people within the bisexual community.

The Asexual Spectrum

Before we delve in, if you feel you don’t know too much about asexual spectrum here is an amazing source that breaks down the different forms attractions/connection and how they relate to a person’s sexuality. Check it out here!

The LGBTQIA means asexual, not ally, like so many assume. This is just the tip of the iceberg of the issues they experience. Asexual means they are not sexual attracted to any person. This plays an important role in spreading awareness of the different types of attractions that are fundamental aspects to each of us people. Below is a wonderful depiction of the different types of attraction:

So, as you may have assumed from the title, asexuality is not a one and done sort of deal in explaining, rather it is a spectrum. This spectrum encompasses levels and frequency of attraction and desire to engage in sexual behaviors. On one end, a person would never want to have sex, whereas on the far other end, they would love to be having sex constantly. Within the middle area are the more normal sexual attraction tendencies. When looking at the asexual area of the spectrum other forms of attraction can affect how much someone may want to have sex.

Due to the lack of sexual desire, a lot of asexuals face rejection from the LGBTQIA+ community on the grounds that they do not want to have sex. However, this realm of the community still strives for all the same aspects as any other member: inclusion in media, destigmatizing of their sexual habits, and a desire to connect with likeminded individuals.

“Sex positivity is a long overdue movement meant to celebrate sex: Everyone should be able to have it, whenever and with whomever they want. But for some people that means maybe never with maybe no one.” (Khosla)

Demisexual

Within the realms of asexuality is demisexuality. This sexuality focuses on mental attraction and established relationships. The stereotype behind this sexuality is that of falling in love with your best friend. This is completely since friends are the only options for who they can feel attraction to. Without pre-established friendships, common interests and connections, or past histories together, a demisexual will feel nothing for someone.

This sexuality just like the others of this section face their biggest issue in the form of misunderstandings. Many people sadly assume that this is the same thing as “wanting to wait for the right person”. The issue with this is that as a person with a normal sexual attraction level, a person will look sexually appealing, whereas for demisexuals they do not. There is no sexual attraction and interests in any way until the emotional bonds are established.

“And from one demisexual to another, I will tell you this: we will not have our knight in shining armour, and that is okay. I will have some peace of minding knowing that the aforementioned knight is not a raving lunatic/serial axe-murderer masquerading around as a knight.” (Narasimhan)

Pansexual

Pansexual is one of the more complex sexual orientations while also simultaneously being the easiest in concept. Pansexuality and bisexuality are often used interchangeably which is not correct due to some very specific nuances. “Bi” derived from Latin means “two,” in the case of sexualities they mean the two standard gender options of male and female only. In contrast, a pansexual can be attracted to literally any person, any gender identity, and any gender expression. Pansexuality is specifically not rooted in the binary that bisexuality is rooted in.

As easy to be seen, with so many assumptions made about this sexuality it is hard to feel accepted into the community. They are constantly facing struggles about what their sexuality even is especially because it confronts the binary standard of sexes and gender expression. Overall, this sexuality is simply being attracted outside of the confines of societal binaries.

References:

Allen, Samantha. “Why Bisexuals Feel Ignored and Insulted at LGBT Pride.” The Daily Beast, The Daily Beast Company, 23 June 2018, www.thedailybeast.com/why-bisexuals-feel-ignored-and-insulted-at-lgbt-pride.

“Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation.” LGBTQ, lgbtq.unc.edu/resources/exploring-identities/asexuality-attraction-and-romantic-orientation.

“Bisexual Health Facts.” Still Bisexual, stillbisexual.com/education/.

Boog, Isa. “What Is the Difference between Being Asexual and Demisexual?” Quora, 4 Sept. 2018, www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-being-asexual-and-demisexual.

Khosla, Proma. “How the Queer Community Can Embrace the Asexual Spectrum.” Mashable, 26 June 2019, mashable.com/article/sex-positivity-asexual-demisexual-community/.

McNamara, Brittney. “This New Discovery About Bisexual Teen Girls Is Troubling.” Teen Vogue, Teen Vogue, 26 May 2017, www.teenvogue.com/story/bisexual-teen-girls-depression-suicide-ideation-young-women.

Narasimhan, Harshita, et al. “What Is Demisexuality, You Ask? Here's A Quick Primer.” Feminism in India, 7 June 2018, feminisminindia.com/2016/10/24/demisexuality-quick-primer/.

“Pan Pride All Day Long.” Facebook, www.facebook.com/panpridealldaylong/.

“Pin on Pride.” Pinterest, www.pinterest.com/pin/855754366679055022/.

Rosenblum, Karen Elaine, and Toni-Michelle Travis, editors. The Meaning of Difference. 5th ed., McGraw-Hill Education, 2008.

“Still Bisexual.” Still Bisexual, stillbisexual.com/.

Thomas, Sophie Saint. “What's the Difference Between Pansexuality and Bisexuality?” Cosmopolitan, Cosmopolitan, 18 Dec. 2020, www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a20776748/pansexual-vs-bisexual-differences/.

Images:

Krishnan Rajagopalan, Lyndon A. Taylor 30 Apr 2020, et al. “The Evolution of LGBTQ Inclusion: Building Cultures of Greater Acceptance and Stronger Communities.” The Evolution of LGBTQ Inclusion: Building Cultures of Greater Acceptance and Stronger Communities | Heidrick & Struggles, www.heidrick.com/Knowledge-Center/Publication/The-evolution-of-LGBTQ-inclusion.

#lesbian #gay #lgbtq #lgbtqia #bisexual #pansexual #asexual #aromantic #nonbinary #transgender #pride #demisexual #genderqueer #genderfluid #queer #demiromantic #rainbow pride #intersex #biromantic

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jesangel1503 · 3 years

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30 Day Challenge:

Day 1 Topic-

About feelings

Let’s talk about facts:

Many of us have an uncomfortable relationship with our feelings. We might stuff down our sadness or sweep away our anger. We might even have trouble identifying what we’re feeling in the first place. We’re socialized to mask our feelings. We learn that we must cover up our emotions “in order to behave appropriately, professionally, and to avoid conflict and navigate relationships.”

We worry if our emotions are wrong, bad or even crazy. We fear being rejected or perceived as needy or foolish and sometimes believe to be weak if we feel sad or scared, so we avoid these emotions. Or we may ignore other emotions, believing they shouldn’t be feeling that way. While feelings may be tricky and we may view them with unease or even suspicion, they’re actually important and valuable. So it is just important that we know we are attuned to our feelings. It’s exciting to discuss about this, and I might say this Day 1 task got me really puzzled about feelings and emotions. What are the difference?

The Difference between Feelings and Emotions

Emotions vs. Feelings

In English, these two words are commonly used interchangeably. Actually, from a scientific standpoint, emotions and feelings are completely different. An emotion is a hard-wired, physical, universal human response to change of some sort. Emotions are instinctive, arising from the limbic system of the brain, developed and genetically programmed over many generations of human evolution. Psychologists do not agree on the number of human emotions, but basic examples include anger, fear, surprise, disgust, happiness and sadness.

In contrast to emotions, which are measurable physical responses, feelings are individual mental processes that cannot be measured. Emotions actually precede feelings, our personal mental reactions to an emotion. Feelings are generated by thoughts and images that we have paired with a specific emotion over time. Emotions are usually short-term and fleeting, while the feelings they provoke may last and grow over a lifetime.

Source: Talktoteach.com

Emotions are measurable physical response and feelings are individual mental processes that cannot be measured

Have you watched Disney’s inside out movie? The main characters are the emotions in a little girls brain and the storyline focuses on how to recover joy after a traumatic experience.

The movie feels really good, and different. It flies on the wings of an almost too-real message — that sadness is an inevitable and necessary part of life.

It’s a good movie to watch with kids and parents, showing how important emotions are and the need to be validated and undertood as part of a child’s development.

The more you are aware of your emotions, the more they help you know yourself and understand the people around you. Noticing and talking about feelings is a healthy way to express them. It keeps difficult feelings from building up. Here is a feelingswheel for you.

Questions about feelings:

Are you a sensitive person? Are you more emotional or less emotional than other people? What makes you think so?

Tbh, I am quite a sensitive person. I think I easily feel all those certain feelings especially when I come across a sad state. I mean, who is not? Come on. Especially when I was young and immature. I am so much unstable when it comes to handling them. It was only now that I am soon 30, I have come up with ways to handle them in a graceful manner. Emotions and feelings are all useful in order for us to better express ourselves and conform ourselves well in the society’s norms and traditions. In some people, handling difficult situations ending in negative emotions is not easy for them, and that may lead to break down and eventually lead to depression. And it’s them that needs social and emotional assistance the most. But for myself, I think I am fine. It just gets better everyday and with age, so I think. What about you?

Can you control your emotions well? How?

Lately, I figured out how to handle them with ease. I’ve dealt with these emotions and savored them like I am tasting them bit by bit. And then I learned to linger to a particular emotion for a time, until I am over it. But I don’t let each emotion affect my day to day, i.e my job and my relationships. If a sad news came, to be specific, a break up of some sort, feelings of reject and self pity comes along. Well what I’m going to do is feel sad about it for some time, and then just be sad until i am not sad anymore. Then after that, I accept that there are things beyond my control so it’s basically not my fault why I’m being rejected. It’s always the mindset that saves our ass in times like these. When we think, “Yeah okay I get it. But my life is great. I can still be able to meet and know other people and it will be fine” And repeat that thought until you’re finally okay. I mean it’s ok to feel sad about it, but to feel sad about it for a long time is your choice already. So it’s up to you on how you want your life to go on. Though sometimes, hormones usually gets mixed with it in some situations, and then I tend to breakdown. It’s so hard to be a girl you know. But I am working on making it better lately, handling these emotions well plus the hormones is a must asap.

Are you generally a positive person or a negative person?

After the things I’ve been through, I realized that I need to choose to be positive ALL the time. Even in negative situations, there should always be a positive thing in a day, may it be a simple smile or giggle of the neighbor’s baby or the warmth of your blanket that hugs you after a long tiring and sad day. You see, if we start appreciating things around us, instead of looking at what’s lacking, then there could be one or more positive things in our lives to notice from. So yes, always choose and think positive, in a way, the universe conspires along with it too! Hopefully!

Do you find it easy to explain your feelings to another person? If not, why is it difficult?

I don’t know but I am really bad at it. I am always afraid what people may perceive and if they comprehend the message well enough that they actually GET me and my point. And so often, I get misunderstood. It scares me before to think what others may think of what I convey to them. But RN I am determined not too care so much about it. I mean, well, I am responsible of what i say not for what they understand. So i’ll eventually get tired explaining myself if they believe what they think their minds say. So if you have a technique, feel free to share. 🙌🏻

What makes you feel very good?

I feel very good when my needs are met. See Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. And I realized it’s not love from a partner that completes you. It’s the love for yourself. And knowing it actually makes me feel really good.

What makes you feel sad?

There are many things. I get sad when people die. And things that comes to an end. But I’ve learned to treat sadness with respect. I mean, it is important, an emotional mechanism that is built on our DNA for human survival and adaptation.

If you're feeling down, how can you make yourself feel better?

I do a lot actually. I feed myself, buy some clothes, or sing my heart out. But I don’t sleep. Many people tend to go on a hibernation when they are sad. But I don’t. As i’ve said before, I treat sadness with respect so I try to overcome it not escape from it. But among the things that I do to make myself better, praying is the one that works best for me. It’s my complete therapy to full recovery. Talking to God everything that makes me sad helps a lot. You should try it.

What is the saddest movie, song, or story that you know?

It was Titanic for me, as the saddest ever. I mean, losing someone you love to death is quite tragic. But what’s more sad is when two people who love each other but cannot be together. I mean it’s a torture. Seeing each other with a different partner is never a pleasant sight. Trust me, it hurts to the bones.

Do people know how you feel by looking at your face? Are you good at hiding your emotions?

This is an exciting topic to talk about. Many people assume they could really know how I feel just by looking at my face. Well yeah, sometimes when I am really happy, I can be obviously happy and also when I am sad. Most of all, is when I like somebody. All the emotions I am feeling can be read on my face. Like yeah, how can you hide turning red when your crush approached you? Like how? So embarrassing hahaha. But anyways, what i am good at, is when I dislike a person. You will never know unless I tell you i don’t but that will not happen sadly. I am not frank, I was raised to not hurt people by being so frank and always choose to speak in a nicer way. And if not, I must resort to avoiding people in the end.

What is the best way to deal with feelings of anger?

When i get angry, I get realllllllly angry. But I have managed controlling my anger in a way that saves my relationships with friends and family. It’s always best to choose a low tone of voice, no matter the argument is about. Shouting, as i often tend to do and i’m avoiding, is not the best way to address anger. Relationships are more important than short time emotions like anger.

Have you been in love? What is it like to be in love?

Yes I have. There are many kinds of it. And almost all of the states of love below, I have already experienced it. You come across each of the states, and all have different feeling to it. And explaining them is hard, cause love is immeasurable. That is, for me.

Which is more powerful between feelings of love and feelings of hate?

I’m gonna end this blog by answering this question. Throughout the years I have been juggling with both feelings and I must say, the feeling of love is more powerful cause it makes us go on and look forward to life. Well, it’s upon one’s preference still. Cause for me, I will always choose to love instead of hate. These 2 are both powerful because hate feelings, are the feelings that weighs us down, and makes us regret and think back. Therefore pulling us in a state of negativity flow in our life where everything is just heavy, a burden, a baggage and a prison that imprisons and rusts us deep down inside. If you let yourself get eaten by your anger and hatred, it can really affect you to your core. Feelings and emotions are natural mechanisms that helps us thrive and adapt to certain situations. If only we know how to handle them properly, then we’re going to be okay.

#love #anger #emotions #feelings

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burnouts3s3 · 5 years

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Joker (2019), a review

(Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit unprofessional blog post written by an unprofessional blog poster. All purported facts and statement are little more than the subjective, biased opinion of said blog poster. In other words, don’t take anything I say too seriously. I enjoyed all 5 Michael Bay Transformers films, for crying out loud.) Just the facts 'Cause you're in a Hurry! Ticket Price: Will Vary Theater to Theater How much I paid: 10.95 USD Rated: R for Strong Bloody violence, Disturbing Behavior, Language and Brief Sexual Images Running time: 122 minutes (2 Hours and 2 Minutes) 3-D: No Post-Credits Sequences: None. My Personal Biases: I like Superheroes. I like superhero movies. I like the DCEU and I have a disposable amount of income that means going to see an overpriced movie means nothing to me. Sorry if you were looking for someone harsher. I liked the first Hangover film but not Hangover 2 and Hangover 3. I have not seen Old School, the King of Comedy or Taxi Driver. The Controversy: A lot of critics are worried that the Joker will incite a mass shooting because it portrays a lonely white guy who becomes a killer in a sympathetic light. Security: When I went to my local theater, the showings had a strict “no handbags, no backpacks and no costumes or helmets or facepaint” rule. When I left the showing, there was a police car outside waiting “in case something happened”. My Verdict: For all the hype and controversy, Joker doesn’t feel like a cohesive whole (maybe on purpose?). Its interesting scenes and a character study about a guy losing his way that feels like an homage to Taxi Driver without actually accomplishing it. Still, Joaquin Phoenix is great at the role and his performance is worth the price of admission alone. Honestly, Director Todd Phillips had more to say (problematic or not) about arrested development, medication, reckless behavior and daddy issues with the Hangover’s Alan. I recommend a viewing, but if you’re squeamish or don’t feel like going outside for whatever reason, you can always wait for Video on Demand. Warning: SPOILERS! Joker (2019), a review

You know, I was already sick and tired of the conversation the Joker started before I even watched the movie. There’s been a lot of talk about how problematic the movie was and whether or not releasing the film now with all these mass shootings and political tension in the air was a good idea. Pitched as Taxi Driver but with the Joker, the new film is said to be the launch of DC’s Black Label, stand alone films that are not connected to the rest of the DC Extended Universe. As such, Warner Bros. is taking a new approach and casting Joaquin Phoenix as a Joker not in any way related to Jared Leto’s version found in Suicide Squad. It also shoots for a much different style of film not seen in the Marvel movies (or for the matter, even DC’s own Aquaman and Shazam). I always hate it when people are concerned about problematic content or giving people the wrong ideas because there’s not a direct correlation that such works of art that has those ideas will be accepted. I reject this notion because I see plenty of good or positive content being promoted that people just don’t seem to take. To use an example, I don’t think Captain Marvel is going to convince a bunch of white women to join the military or vote for the democratic party in 2020. As such, even if this new Joker film didn’t exist, the next mass shooter is probably going to find inspiration from another source. Problematic or not, I was simply eager to find out whether the film was any good. As such, here’s a review of the controversial “Joker”. In 1981, Arthur Fleck lives with his mother Penny in Gotham City working as a clown-for-hire. He suffers from a neurological disorder that causes him to laugh at inopportune times, and regularly visits a social services worker to get medication. After a group of street kids steal Arthur's sign and beat him in an alley, one of his coworkers loans him a gun for protection. Arthur also meets Sophie, a single mother who lives in a neighboring apartment, and invites her to his stand-up comedy routine. If I were to tell you that I thought the Joker film was ambitious but flawed, do you wish me to send you my email address so you can write me a nasty letter or should I bring out the rotten vegetables so you can throw them at me? During a visit to a children's hospital, Arthur's gun falls out of his pocket, which results in his firing. Arthur also learns that the social service program is shutting down, leaving him with no way to get his medication. During a subway ride home, Arthur is harassed by a group of three Wayne Enterprises businessmen, and he kills them when they start to beat him. This unintentionally starts a protest movement against Gotham City's rich, with protesters donning clown masks in his image. Let’s get one thing out of the way; whatever my feelings on the film are, Joaquin Phoenix owns the role. His Joker is simply magnificent to behold and it’s very visible both from the weight transformation to this mannerisms that he was ready for this role. The sympathetic moments you feel are solely because of him. Well done. Sadly, the rest of the film doesn’t live up to the hype or controversy (in my opinion). It feels like interchangeable beats with little to no progression. It’s not so much a plot driven film as it is a character study of Arthur’s descent into madness. We see portraits of his life and see how he just can’t catch a break and it does show him in a sympathetic light. I will give credit that the film eventually revealing that Arthur ISN’T a special person that is misunderstood but is just a guy who’s just like everyone else who thinks he should have more than he has right now. See, in a series of reveals, it shows us that Arthur is an unreliable narrator. His love interest was something he imagined because she was nice to him one time. His belief that he is the illegitimate son of Thomas Wayne (an idea planted into him by his mother) is nothing more than wishful thinking. The movie goes out of its way to paint that while Arthur may have a sympathetic situation, he’s taking actions that are not. It’s only when things start attempting to world build that everything gets confusing. Apparently, Arthur becomes some sort of symbol for the poorer class of the city (#OccupyClownStreet ?) and people start dressing up like him. And there’s a reveal with Thomas Wayne which I just rolled my eyes at. It’s just weird that Arthur ‘coincidentally’ kills 3 Wayne Enterprise employees and people take it as a political statement even though Arthur reiterates he’s not political. It’s unclear what the film is trying to say about any of the subject matters it brings up. Director and screenwriter Todd Phillips said more about medication, unresolved parental issues, arrested development and entitlement with the Hangover’s Alan. This isn’t even “screw all sides, shut up and get off my lawn” libertarian fratboyism as patented by South Park (a position, I would argue, that Matt Stone and Trey Parker, have since back peddled on). It doesn’t really say anything during it’s runtime other than “rich people suck and society made me this way”. (Again, in my personal, subjective, biased opinion). CAVEAT: It’s clear that the Joker controversy has eclipsed even the film itself. Beyond all the punditry, the fans and critics debating, the moral panic and the extra security, the film itself is just another Joaquin Phoenix show case. It’s not even ‘that’ violent apart from one stabbing. Maybe that’s the joke? That the controversy surrounding the film is more important than said film? Director Todd Phillips said he wanted to make a ‘real movie’ and pass it off as a superhero movie. Aside from the weird swipe against other superhero movies, Todd Phillips seems to be trying so hard to get prestige when I’d say the Hangover films had sharper teeth than this. I understand a lot of people are unsure whether or not to go see the movie given the current political climate and safety concerns. I won’t judge them, but I’m of the opinion that if you let fear get to you, the people propagating the fear usually win. However, if you’re unsure, I don’t see a problem with just waiting for the film to come out on VOD. It’s rare for a film to get this much attention, regardless of whether Warner Brothers and Todd Phillips planned for it. I just wish it had more to say given the opportunity. Rating: Matinee

#joker #todd phillips #the hangover #arthur fleck #dc #dc black label #dceu #dc extended universe #joaquin phoenix

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anagraves · 5 years

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[28]

I was tagged by @brenli , thank you so much! I don’t think I’ve ever done anything so long on this page :D So, here we go! It will be a little messy, ‘cause I’m constantly overtired and feel slightly rusty with my English, and also withholding some facts, ‘cause I’m paranoid. Sorry.

1. how tall are you? 158 cm, which means I’m usually the tiniest person around. I don’t mind, though.

2. what color and style is your hair? Natural color is pretty mousy and I hate it, so I’ve been dying my hair since junior highschool, I guess. Till last year I always dyed them claret, but last holiday I changed it to something that starts as black and finishes as plum. I used to have them shoulder-length, but four years ago I cut them really short and since then I am a proud owner of very little hair on my head. I do envy people with long hair, but well, I know what I have now fits me better.

3. what color are your eyes? Green.

4. do you wear glasses? Yup, constantly since the end of elementary school. With myopia that goes to - 6 I really do not see much without my glasses. I’ve never used contacts nor do I intend to, I can’t imagine having to touch my eyeballs or anything.

5. do you wear braces? Not anymore, thankfully! But I did, for 7 years!!! I still have to wear some stuff at nights and I have one element left on my lower teeth, but that’s all.

6. what is your fashion style? I don’t think I have one. I mean I don’t like fashion, so I just wear whatever I feel like wearing. My clothes are diverse, but they are usually dark and with something interesting on them (imprints/spikes/other metal things). I have a lot of T-shirts/sweaters with skulls and animals (especially cats and owls). I love warm sweaters, hoodies, jeans and leather jackets. I am obsessed with high heels, my favorite shoes are a black leather ones that reach well above my ankles and have like an 8-cm-long heel. I don’t own a single skirt (like... no) and I have only a few dresses which I wear only if I’m forced to (big dislike for these ones as well). I’m an all-trousers girl. I definitely prefer my style casual; when it comes to elegance I like to wear black in general - black smooth trousers and black suit.

7. full name? Sorry, I don’t feel comfortable disclosing it online.

8. when were you born? July 12, 1994.

9. where are you from and where do you live now? I was born in a small-ish town in southern Poland and now I still live in southern Poland, but in a much bigger town. So not much of a change, just a few hours of travel by car.

10. what school do you go to? One Polish university, four months to go and it will be the end of any school for me!

11. what kind of student are you? Up till university, I was an excellent student, always the best at everything. I was definitely a geek who learned too much. And I always wanted to be at the top. University changed it completely; even when I’m trying hard I’m just average. If I like a subject it shows and I’m having good grades, but generally, I’m all for passing, not excelling. I’m learning a lot and it still isn’t enough right now, which is frustrating at times, especially when I compare myself to my colleagues. On other occasions... I simply don’t care. I just want to pass.

12. do you like school? Well... It depends on the period of my life. I think I didn’t mind elementary school, I hated junior high school and liked actual high school. About university... every year is different, so there were good ones and there were bad ones. I’m not a fan of it in general, though.

13. what are your favorite school subjects? Pre-uni: Maths and Chemistry, mostly, but Chemistry was my biggest and most unexpected love during my time at school. When it first started I had no idea what it was and I was terrified with it, plus I was behind the whole class because of some disease and I was honestly so nervous about it. Then, a month later, I kinda... fell for it and stayed infatuated with it till the end of junior high. And that’s mostly how I found myself on medical studies a few years later. My teacher from junior high was so amazing she made me love Chemistry more than anything, but sadly, my teacher from high school ruined it all. I had a great Biology teacher then, though it didn’t make me love Biology. It just enabled me to get into the uni I wanted to get to. I almost always liked my English classes as well, because I had some really amazing teachers and I loved English. I still do, languages are amazing.

Uni: Histology, Pharmacology, Surgery. The first two are the only ones I excelled at. Surgery - not so much, but I still did well on the final exam.

14. favorite TV shows? It is both an easy and difficult question. Easy because I do have one TV series I consider my ultimate favorite, and it’s Angel from Buffyverse. The best thing about it is the most amazing character development I’ve ever seen, and trust me, I’m a sucker when it comes to character development. My favorite character from there is one of my ultimate faves (if not THE one) and his path is one of the most epic ever. Plus it has an amazing material for shipping and some great acting, it’s dark, depressing and hopeless, and that’s what I love. It’s also one of the few examples of TV series when I actually LIKE the main character; he’s actually one of the people I like the most. It almost never happens; usually, I’m very anti-main characters (e.g. LotR, HP).

The question gets difficult because there are also such shows as Chuck, Firefly or Code Black, amazing and mostly flawless (apart from the ending of Chuck), but are they my favorites? At times, maybe. In general... I just don’t know. Bones and Castle fought for my undivided attention for years (most of the times Bones was on the winning side) and they’re both in my top 10, though probably not top 3. Plus, there are some gems that had such amazing potential, but were cut short and had too little time to develop; apart from Firefly, it would be, e.g. Monday Mornings, Perception, Black Box.

There were also a lot of amazing TV shows I loved dearly during some of their seasons, but almost always something happened and they got ruined. PLL, TVD, Grey’s Anatomy (I feel like I’m watching it now for one pairing only), OUaT and so on. House was my first American TV series and I’ll always have a place for it in my heart. I love GoT in its very early and very late seasons, but what comes in between? Nope.

(I watch way too much TV.)

The honorary mentions should go to some non-American shows (honestly speaking, I’m kinda tired with the general trends of American TV at the moment). I’ve started my adventures with TV with Polish soap operas that I completely adored; when I discovered American TV I stopped watching them entirely and don’t intend to come back. I love some good English dramas, but BBC tends to get a little bit overdramatic or too dark even for me (Ripper Street ripped my heart from my chest). Speaking of ripping hearts, let’s not forget about the Japanese ones, as @brenli mentioned! They are something completely different, they have amazing plotlines and characters, and - sometimes - Hiroyuki Sanada who is just everything (and I get to analyze the shows with @brenli, which makes them even better). Koukou Kyoushi will stay with me for years to come, probably Konna Koi No Hanashi as well. Considering my current Asian phase I expect to see much more of Japanese (or maybe Korean) dramas in the future.

15. favorite movies? There are a few movies I could watch on constant repeat and they mean so much to me. Let’s categorize them in genres, shall we? Animation: How to Train Your Dragon (especially the first part, the second one breaks my heart too much), Ice Age 3; plus the tales of my childhood I could watch five times a day - Pocahontas, Mulan, Spirit: Stallion of Cimarron. Period: Pride & Prejudice 2005. Rom-com: Holiday; Love, Actually. Adventure: Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3. Sci-fi: Matrix 1 & 3. Plus a few honorary mentions that are equally important, but I just wouldn’t have them on constant rewatch: LotR, SW, HP, Indiana Jones (not every part for every one of these series), National Treasure. There are also a few amazing anime movies (Spirited Away, Kimi No Na Wa, Wolf Children) and among them some masterpieces I think were wonderful, but too heartbreaking to ever watch them again (Grave of the Fireflies, Princess Kaguya).

16. favorite books? Most of my favorite books are cycles that I grew up with - LotR, HP, Inkheart Trilogy, the Vampirates series, Artemis Fowl, Jeżycjada (a Polish series about a multi-generational Polish family), Felix, Net i Nika (kinda Polish version of HP with science and technology in place of magic), some books by Ewa Nowak. Also, Pride & Prejudice. I’ve loved a lot of books since, but does any of them deserve to be called a “favorite”? I’m not so sure about it.

17. favorite pastime? Writing, from the moment I’ve learned to write (4 years old, I believe). Second best would be watching TV series; when I was younger I’d much rather like to read a book, but that kinda changed. Though, if I’m being honest, at the time being it would be watching ski jumping competitions or anything BTS-related. These past two weeks (yup, I’ve been writing this post for two weeks) has been an interesting journey of interchanging obsessions, some revisited (sj) and some I’ve never expected to develop (BTS).

18. do you have any regrets? Sure, who doesn’t? I’m trying to live by the rule “regret doing something rather than not doing it”, but well, it can’t always work.

19. dream job? A writer, for sure, always and forever. That is the one thing that has been with me my whole life. Apart from that? Well... Some time after I started my studies I developed a strong dream of becoming a neurosurgeon one day, but this dream faltered this year and now I’m not so sure anymore. Now I feel like I made a completely wrong career choice those few years ago.

20. would you like to get married someday? Marriage has never been one of my dreams or something I HAVE to do in the future, but I definitely want to have someone by my side, and if they want to get married, then sure, we can do that. Not necessarily though.

21. would you like to have kids someday? No, no and once again no, and there are so many reasons! First, I do know my body would not be physiologically okay with pregnancy (and after studying Gynaecology I do believe pregnancy is one of the worst things - if not THE worst - that could ever happen to one’s body) and I have no intention of doing such a thing to myself. Second, children scare me; my whole life I’ve been doing my best to keep my distance and avoid contact at any cost (which kinda worked as far, I’ve never even held a baby). Third, I have no maternal instinct and I do know I would be a terrible mother, so what’s the point?

23. do you like shopping? No. Since I was a child, when my parents took me shopping I always had a book with me and just followed them around while reading (somehow I managed not to collide with anything throughout all these years :P). I still do the same thing if someone makes me go with them to the mall, only now it’s more often my phone, not a book. I love buying books, though. I used to go to the bookshops and buy five books at a time. I don’t do that right now, because a) money b) I have tons of unread books already, but I could still go there and spend hours just looking at the books and reading their covers.

24. what countries have you visited? Only one, and I’m not even sure it should count. I’ve been to Slovakia twice, but both times only like 50km from the border, and I’ve spent there max few hours. So... it definitely wasn’t even remotely close to this “going abroad” I’ve been always dreaming about...

25. what’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? Hmm... There was one in my adult life that left me absolutely terrified; I remember waking up and feeling paralyzed with fear. I had a feeling someone was standing in the doorway, but I was too scared to turn around and see, so I was just lying there with my eyes wide open, waiting until the fear passes or something else happens... What was the dream about? I only remember it took place in some fancy mansion near the beach that was either mine or one of my friends’. I think it wasn’t actually a nightmare until the very end when something bad was about to happen to someone who was standing in the living room. The other person was creeping in the dark or something like that, and the character in the dream had the same kind of fear I woke up with. I didn’t actually want to remember more details.

26. do you have any enemies? I did have some, on every stage of my education, but they are no longer in my life. Nowadays I think I’m too irrelevant to be anyone’s enemy. There are some people with whom I share a mutual dislike, but “enemies” is probably too strong of a word in these cases.

27. do you have an s/o? Nope. Never had.

28. do you believe in miracles? Well... not really. I believe in luck and destiny, but miracles? I definitely don’t believe in them in any religious context (I’m completely anti-religion). When it comes to some other kinds of miracles, like medical ones - I know things happen, wonderful things that have no logical explanation, but I do believe that deep down, even though we don’t know it, they have some logical explanation. We just can’t see it.

Finished! Finally! :D Hopefully it isn’t too chaotic, I don’t really have time to reread it and check for mistakes, Family Medicine is waiting to devour me...

I’m tagging: @frombothofmyhearts @thesilverrqueen @mis4nthropy and anyone who wants to do it! Just be warned - it takes a lot of time to answer all of the questions :P

#tumblr games #tumblr life #that was long #answer #personal

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houseofvans · 5 years

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SKETCHY BEHAVIORS | Interview with VALERIE SAVARIE

Denver artist Valerie Savarie creates intricately carved book sculptures that she painstakingly maps out and cuts, forming her own unique narrative creation. Each of her unique sculptures can take her from 40 hours to over 100 hours to complete. Not only one thing, Valerie also runs a collective gallery, Valkarie Gallery in Colorado, where various artists in the community show and share work. We find out more about Valerie’s book sculpture process, what her favorite tome creation is, and the things that inspire her.

Take the leap below!

Photographs courtesy of the artist.

Introduce yourself Howdy! My name is Valerie Savarie and I create carved book sculptures. I live in the Mile High city of Denver, Co, sharing a house with two cats Meelo and Varuka and my ever loving and supportive husband Matt. As cats are insatiable creatures when it comes to food and attention (which can turn into a zero creativity day), I eventually relocated my studio to Lakewood where it is connected to the collective gallery I run (Valkarie). I believe in lots of vitamin C to keep me healthy and creating (coffee, carrots and chips). Random fact: most of my tattoos are beyond the legal drinking age.

What was your introduction to art like? I was fortunate that my parents got myself and my sisters into art as kids. During the summers instead of wasting our time in front of the TV, we were enrolled in art programs. The city where I grew up - Madison, WI – also had this (and still does to this day) awesome thing called the Art Cart that would find its way to various parks over the summer and have free art projects – my favorite was the plaster casting of our faces at the beach. My dad also took us to many galleries and lectures. I can remember being in third or fourth grade and attending a Georgia O’Keeffe exhibition.

How did that eventually lead you to creating your own works and specifically your book sculptures? Honestly, I have an older (not too much older) sister that was always the artist so I shied away from art for years. Sure, I was a professional doodler, yet I wanted to be my own person and struggled with the sibling rivalry a la Jan and Marcia for years. I turned to creative writing in high school and the first go around of college. Finally, I moved away, and moved away again, tried college a second time majoring in interior design and minoring in scenic design (secretly I wanted to be an architect) and ended up having a professor that had an MFA – Robert Work – who I am still friends with (god, it has been over 15 years since graduation). He reignited that artistic spark in me. I even applied to grad school for art and got rejected from every school I applied to yet I still made art.

A few years down the road I met my husband and he really pushed me to get my art out in public, which was frightening. I ended up joining a co-op where I experimented with various mediums and styles. I created some cube sculptures (bartered autocad drawings for them) and I was in love. 3D art took over my heart, unfortunately, I couldn’t afford to buy the cubes out right and my cabinet maker friend didn’t need any more drawings. So I sought out something that I could afford for material, something that was also easy to come by and easy to manipulate. A thrift store junky, I decided to test my hand on carving up books. That was just over 7 years ago.

What is the process for book creations? From start to finish, how long does the entire piece take? My pieces are formed by three different processes of creation: what it is, what I want it to be and it will be what it will be. What it is means that the story in the book inspires me. What I want it to be means that I have an idea that I need to find a book that fits the visual story I want to create, whereas it will be what it will be means I take a book with no idea in mind as to how it will turn out and intuitively start cutting.

I would say about 67% of the books I create fall into the what I want it to be category so that’s what I will describe. I will get an image stuck inside my head and think about it quite a bit before I will put pencil to paper, working out basic concepts in my head and then creating a very rudimentary sketch (mainly so I don’t forget the idea). I then head off to the stacks – a very unorganized collection – in search of a book whose story has some of the same elements as mine. This is a daunting task as I have no idea as to what the content of at least 97% of the books I house is.

Sadly the adage “you can’t judge a book by its cover” is all too accurate. Titles can be misleading, the content seems like a good match but the cover has illustrations that are in conflict with the vision, and heaven forbid I can’t find any information on the book on Google and then have to decide if I have the time to invest in reading a few chapters or should just keep looking elsewhere.

After hours and even days of searching, I find the match – the perfect companion to my vision. I leaf through most of the pages, book marking those passages, illustrations, lack of text or unique text layout for me to revisit as I cut layer by layer, page by page. Then a slightly more detailed sketch is created – and then comes the point of no return …

I draw the shape of the cut out on the cover and with book and blade in hand, the transformation begins. All cuts are done with a craft knife – yes, even the cover. It is cut by scoring multiple times and then stab and drag, stab and drag. Sure, there are easier ways to do this - the not so occasional accidental sacrifice of blood still doesn’t deter me - I prefer to use my hands, to be able to pack up to my art, take it anywhere I chose to create and not worry about access to electricity. With the cover hole cut, I take out my file and smooth the opening, refine the curves and lines. Then another sketch of how the piece will be laid out is drawn on the front leaf of the book. This can be especially handy to have in more complex designs where I use the image as a template or stencil when cutting the many layers.

From then on out, it is just a matter of cutting one to three pages at a time. The number of pages is determined by the quality of the paper and over all design. Admittedly, this can become tedious if the depth of the layer is greater than ¼” but it is also important for me NOT to rush through the cutting of pages stage as phrases and images easily hide from view when I first go through the book in search of the elements I want expose.

Accidents do happen – the occasional over cut of a section or completely cutting out a page I meant to keep. I am very rigid in my creative process – if the section has been completely cut through, I just walk away from it – even though it would be quite easy to simply glue that section to the page below. The story can develop plot twists during this time as the layers start taking on a different life and their shadows start telling a story of their own as I cut deeper and deeper.

This, the lengthiest part of the creation process, I mentally start to flesh out what the painted characters – or inhabitants – of the book sculpture will look like (I can easily spend over 40 hours of just cutting the pages and so have a lot of “free creative brain time”) . How will they interact in the environment, what will their facial expression be? I dare not start painting them until all pages that will be cut, are cut, as I want the character - be in human, animal or other worldly - to look as if they had grown up in the book sculpture and has called it home forever. The characters are painted with acryla gouache on sheets of mixed media paper or directly onto the book page. The latter is more of a spirit creature – a ghost that is still very much part of the life force of the book. These little paintings are then mounted to illustration board for rigidity and cut out (again by hand with a craft knife).

Once the book cutting is complete and the character painted, I move on to the last creative piece which ties the story together (literally) - the stitching. Each altered book piece has some thread or string (occasionally wire is substituted) added to help in the visual story telling. It can be very elaborate such as sewing branches and leaves onto the cover or something as simple as a few blades of grass. The drilling to create the needle holes in the cover is (again) done with a hand tool called a jeweler’s drill. This nifty device has interchangeable bits from the diameter of a hair to 7mm lead. I believe the longest recorder amount of time I have spent drilling/stitching a single piece is 15 hours.

Now it’s time to do all the boring stuff that makes the piece ready to hang. All the pages are bound together, I create a little wire coat hanger in which the piece can be hung and sew it onto the back of the book as well as stitch in the publication and rebirth years. Both covers are glued to the bound pages, clamped and by the next day, what was once an orphaned book, now rid of its shell, is a three dimensional sculpted piece of art!

And that is how my book sculptures are born.

How long? On average 40 hours a piece. A few take less time and I have spent over 100 hours on a piece more than once.

Where do the books come from? Are they from collecting or via donation? How are you inspired when creating these intricate piece? Are they inspired by the book or from an idea you jotted down? My books come fro various sources. Initially I would get them at thrift stores, the rule was that they had to be as old as me. I normally still stick to that rule unless it is a commission or a piece created for a specific themed show. More recently, I have had a lot of books donated to me – some because the thrift stores won’t take them any more and others because the former owners’ had cherished them and hoped that they could find new life in my hands. On rare occasions I do order from Ebay. I prefer the hunt, stalking down the perfect book, taking weeks and even months. Sometimes, I don’t have that luxury due to deadlines.

Normally I have a concept I want to develop, I look through my stacks (which numbers in the 100’s and shelved at random) hoping to find one that has a similar story line. Since I don’t have time to read each one, I go online and do research – reading the synopses – as well as skimming the books. This can be dangerous as sometimes the books I am sorting through pull me in and new inspiration is born from the written word.

I see my pieces as more of a collaboration between myself and the authors and illustrators. I use their art form as an inspiration stream and add my own twist (or chapter) to create the stories anew.

Is there a piece that was directly influenced by a memory or experience you’ve had or story you’ve heard? It is rare that I remember my dreams but a few years ago I awoke and remembered having a very strange dream about tiny cyclops octopuses and tea cups. Shortly there after I stumbled across a Reader’s Digest collection that contained 20,000 leagues Under the Sea and so I had to create the little cyclopes – sans teacups. I really want to revisit that dream in art form again – with the tea cups – as of yet, I haven’t come across any books that would fit.

What’s the perfect day at the studio like for you? What kinds of things would we find in your creative space?

A perfect day would start around 6pm. I prefer to work at night until the early hours of the morning. I would have a nice cup of endless coffee at hand, a bag of baby carrot and raw nuts available for snacking (separate bags) and some left over Indian food for later in the evening/morning. The original Twin Peaks is playing in the back ground (i pretty much have the dialogue memorized) and my shoes are off and slippers on.

Spread around me on the floor (I work sitting on the floor) is a brand new cutting mat that smells of childhood summer beach toys, an assortment of craft knifes with brand new blades (I rarely use new blades as I have learned to sharpen them) and a vintage book begging me to caress its pages, ogle its inner beauty and then skillfully and slowly start to transform its story from the 2D writing into a 3D world it never knew it could be!

Within my studio I have quite a nice collection of small art (besides my own of course). I use it for inspiration and feed off the remnants of creative energy that the artists left with each piece. There are books, LOTS of books that have no rhyme or reason to their shelving locations or book neighbors. I have quite a few orchids which may or may not be in bloom – all of which were gifts. I have a cool vintage love seat which normally is a place for art to lounge on along with the occasional visitor. A nice collection of coffee mugs – with at least half of them needing to be washed- and of course a coffee maker. I also have an old radio from probably the 30’s that I occasionally plug in and turn on – the sound is great but there aren’t that many am radio stations with strong enough signal that are worth listening to.

What’s one of your favorite creations you’ve made and why? I created a piece based on Pan’s Labyrinth. It was the first piece of fan art I had ever created.

I rarely actually watch movies or t.v. - I listen to them but my eyes and hands are busy creating art. I don’t like foreign films that have voice overs, there is just something unnerving about them.

So with Pan’s Labyrinth, it is something that I actually had to watch. It is a visual masterpiece – as is everything that Guillermo del Toro does.

Creating art based off of something that is already a magnificent piece of art is quite challenging. I didn’t want it to be obviously fan art it was important I make it my own. I ended up using a book in Spanish about the Spanish Civil war. I also used some techniques that were new to me – removing the decorative fabric only from the cover to create pattern, adding color and even adding the cover of a larger book as a backdrop. Oh yeah, and a drop of blood – my fingers tips are pretty callused from art making it took a little more effort than I liked to get that blood.

It was exciting to use new techniques and to push myself to be precise and exact – an actual labyrinth with tiny stairs down to the portal – and at the same time use my imagination to explore concepts that I could only see (movie) and not read and translate them into my own design.

What’s your main tool for making art? Is there a medium you’re wanting to try? A craft knife with an Excel blade – the brand REALLY makes a big difference. In a tie would be a good mat – still looking for the perfect one.

I took a class last year on wood block cutting and would really like to do more with that. I think it would work well with the book page scraps I collective (I have many many boxes of them) plus it is another substractive art techniquewhich makes sense in my brain.

Who are some artists that you’re inspired by and have influenced you throughout the years? Edward Gorey is my main influence. Partially because he was both a visual artist and a writer. I love how dark his images are and the same time laced with humor. His black and white color palette obviously works for me as well. There is a simplicity to it and at the same time it is so masterfully done that the work appears much more expansive than it already is.

As far as artists that are alive and kicking today, my local biggest influences are Aria Fawn and Nicole Grosjean. They are completely different in everything they do and at the same time such masters of detail and story telling.

Aria creates surreal and fantastic worlds in watercolor, largely inspired by the beautiful and violent balance of nature and wild things and the cycle of life, death and rebirth. There is such organic and natural beauty in her style, a freeness that I strive to incorporate into my rigid calculated creation process. I probably own more of Aria’s art than anyone else's - I have multiple pieces by her in my studio and home. She is constantly with me, always inspiring, motivating and energizing my creative spirit.

Nicole on the other hand, creates tiny worlds from hand cut, hand painted paper – which she considers three dimensional illustration. Sometimes there are over a thousand individually cut and painted pieces of paper in one work of art. She is so precise, so CLEAN I have no idea how she does it. I have a very tiny praying mantis in a watch piece from her as well as a larger dragon that I got for my husband as a gift to cover all holidays for several years.

My my top three non locals are Jolene Lai, Jason Limon and Kristen Egan. They all are completely different from one another – Kristen creates magical creatures from gourds. I am dying to get my hands on one as 3D art really needs to be experienced in person to feel the texture, see how the light and shadow changes the mood of the piece. She makes it look so seamless – at first glance I thought the were ceramic.

When I first saw Jason’s work I thought it was the most amazing paper cut art I had ever seen, then I realized it was a painting! His playfulness along with social commentary paired with his insane talent to place highlights and shadows it something I strive for. I feel that my painted characters could be so much more influential – a better actor one could say – in the dioramas I create if they appeared more three dimensional. I am lucky to own one small original that lives with me in my studio.

And then there is Jolene. I would consider her one of the greatest artists of all time. There is so much emotion, energy, story telling in her paintings. Her use of color (and again light and shadow) makes her works hyper realistic to me – I feel sucked in and transformed as an active participant in her paintings. I own two beautiful graphite pieces of hers which live at my house.

What’s your experience been like with the art scene in your area? How is the artist community? I LOVE the art scene in Denver. We are a “new” city that still has not lost its small town connectivity in the arts. Artists support other artists, galleries support other galleries. It is not an us vs them mentality here and I really think it will stay that way.

I got my start in a traditional co-op gallery that sadly just closed this year after being open for nearly 30 years.

They rejected me the first time around and told me what to change for the next application round and I got in that second time.

Even at Valkarie we host a drop in creative night every Thursday – going on almost five years. All levels of artists come, from doodlers to professionals, painters to jewelry makers. We openly give feedback on what we re working on and share calls for art and discuss booth set ups for conventions – what works and what doesn’t.

How do you stay inspired on those days when you’re feeling uninspired? To be honest, it has been years since I felt uninspired. I think because of the super supportive art community I always have someone to run ideas off of. Also, the books themselves are full of written and visual inspiration, an unending supply of it. And all that awesome art I collect, for me it’s not a lack of inspiration it’s more a lack of what I want to focus on – too many bees buzzing with ideas in my brain.

When you’re not working in the studio, what are you doing? What do you enjoy? Truth be told, 83% of my waking time revolves around art. Besides spending time with my own art and running Valkarie Gallery, there isn’t much time for anything else.

In that 17%, I enjoy making pies from scratch with my husband, getting out into the mountains to escape all the compartmentalizing of city life and being servant to the cats – if they had their way, I wouldn’t get any art done at all.

If I ever find “free” time again I would love to get back into creative writing, pick up the violin again and go on more bike rides. Nothing sporty, just peddling around town with no destination in mind.

What advice would you give someone who is thinking of becoming an artist? Start young – before you get tied down with a house, spouse or kids. It is much easier to get by on less while you are young.

Don’t feel like you have to get a degree in art (I know I will catch flack for this one). Do take art classes, marketing classes, get involved in with meet up art groups and build community. Some of the most successful artists I know have no formal art degree. Their talent, passion and drive have given them much success without a pile of debt and they tend to be the most active in artist groups.

Know that rejection is 90% of the game and don’t get discouraged. It doesn’t mean you aren’t good at what you do, it can mean that you weren’t what they were looking for. If you are really passionate, you will always create no matter what others say about your art.

Develop a style that is unique to you. This can be the most difficult especially with everything being available to anyone with a smartphone, computer or tablet. I think it is one of the reasons I keep creating the book sculptures and expanding what they are.

What are your FAVORITE Vans? It really depends on the weather and where I am headed. If it is snowy or raining and am headed to the studio, slip-ons are best, so I can easily take them off and on multiple times a day (sitting on wet shoes is a mistake only made once). In good weather, any Vans are comfortable enough to wear evening while squatting on the floor creating art.

Finally, can you tell us about any exciting things you’ve got coming up? This year I have had my art in five different states and at the beginning of December I will be showing in my sixth. I will have a booth at the Recycled Art Market in Santa Fe, NM. This will be the first time showing my art there and think I will come back with some pretty exciting new ideas on how to incorporate other repurposed items into my books and maybe even find some new resources for creating my sculptures.

I also have two commission coming up that I am really excited to get going on. Will be doing A Clockwork Orange piece and The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe(for two different clients). It has been decades since I read either but I think these two both warrant a reread before I start them (I really do my best to avoid watching movies of books for inspiration).

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#Art #Vans #Vans Art #Vans Girls #Valerie Savarie #book #sculpture #sketchy behaviors #interviews #interview

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emilyplaysotome · 6 years

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Chapter 21 - Last Meal

Catch up on all Chapters here: http://emilyplaysotome.tumblr.com/post/173554646607/down-the-voltage-rabbit-hole-the-sequel-master

I left Jin’s office that day and went straight to Meg’s apartment after sending her an SOS text. I still had a set of keys to her place and seeing as how I was fighting off a full blown panic attack, I knew that I couldn’t go back to the office or get lunch as I’d initially planned.

With her apartment walking distance from my office, I hurried over and let myself in only to collapse on her couch.

Lying in a familiar, safe space allowed my body to fully relax and release everything I’d been holding onto. In that moment, I didn’t fight the tears that fell freely but instead embraced the opportunity to decompress. They were not from a place of sadness or weakness but one of being overwhelmed and unsure - scared of making any choices for fear of making the wrong ones.

I felt stuck on a hamster wheel of otome men, living the same conflicts again and again.

I’d be sure that I liked one, only to have an interaction with another that made me waffle until I saw another one that made me question things with the other two. I now marveled at the fact I’d chosen anyone at all back in the otome world, and as my date with Zyglavis grew closer and closer I couldn’t help but think about why it was so hard for me to figure out who I wanted.

My gut told me that this wasn’t about having to pick one man to spend my life with but more so the fact that I felt as if they were interchangeable and I could be genuinely happy with any and all of them. That in itself was an unsettling feeling for someone who had always believed that I would one day meet someone and know without a doubt that this person was meant for me. I worried that perhaps I was missing something major that distinguished one from the other and was sick of running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

I reached for my phone to put on a headspace meditation while I waited for Meg and saw a grumpy text from her that let me know she couldn’t come back to the apartment, but could call me in 30 minutes when she was done with her meeting.

“I understand,” I wrote back. “Sorry I’m such a mess. I’m at your place - I hope that’s ok. I just couldn’t handle going back to the office right now.”

“That’s fine,” she immediately wrote. “We’ll talk soon.”

The perks of being a boss often meant being above standard work hours and though I rarely took advantage I found myself unsure if I’d return today. It was 3:30 PM and the presentation for tomorrow was in a good place. I’d hit my milestones during my flurry of activity before seeing Jin and should anyone need me my phone was an ever present reminder of my inability to fully disconnect from the office.

I put on a meditation, unable to sit in the proper position, and closed my eyes as I focused on my breath and the feelings in my body that were linked to nebulous emotions that I was having trouble deciphering at the moment. It was hard to stop my mind from wandering, but I was successful at pausing and asking myself the question of what it was that I wanted to choose.

That question was something bigger than just the otome men in front of me, or the game that I was playing.

It was about my life and the future I’d been too afraid to make a decision about. For so many years I hid behind fear and kept myself in place of limbo with the logic that getting by didn’t hurt as much as failing, nor was it as scary as succeeding.

What would it feel like to find “the one” only to have it fall apart? What would it feel like to be with someone and never have a guarantee that they would stay? What would it feel like to know that someone had seen me wholly only to have them walk away?

I’d loved Zyglavis but when our life together started to disintegrate I felt guilt more than any other feeling. With the men here I had started to contemplate all these different ways my life could have gone and I worried that I’d made a mistake. The reality was it probably would have been the same with all of them seeing as how I felt certain about none of them.

Zyg deserved more.

They all did.

It didn’t matter if they were real or not, what mattered was that no matter how much they wooed me and no matter how much I grew to love them, that voice in the back of my head that judged myself for this experience would keep me from having something real.

I’d been fighting the obvious for so long, but when I opened my eyes on Meg’s couch that day I realized that the right thing to do was going to be incredibly painful.

It was time to say goodbye.

Meg was surprised, albeit pleased at the conclusion I’d come to. I still didn’t agree with her in the sense that these men weren’t “real”.

With that said, my perception of them would always be clouded by the fact that I’d used their world for escape for many years of my life and for the first time, felt it was time for me to wake up. Believing in love again and believing that I was capable and worthy of love was a very real lesson that I had taken away from this time in my life and I was grateful towards all of them as scared as I was to let them go.

“Do you think you’ll change your mind tonight at dinner?” Meg asked in earnest.

“I don’t think so,” I said sadly. “I’ve struggled for clarity for so long - been running around like a chicken with its head cut off the past few weeks trying to get you back and romance all these men and I feel like it’s distracted me from the ugly truth. None of them could make me happy because I’d always wonder what would have happened if I’d never found myself in their world.”

“I have to say Naomi, I agree with you but I’m surprised you’ve come to this conclusion so quickly. Are you sure you’re not forcing things?”

“No, I know this is the right thing to do. I saw Jin and he called me out for juggling men and I started to feel all my old feelings for him…for Toshi…for Zyg…and this never ending game of choice made me realize that behind that I’ve been afraid to choose someone who could hurt me. As much as they’ve evolved from the characters they started as, I’ve never seen any indication that they’d ever leave me. So, as scary as this all is, I think it’s time I try something with someone who might.”

A silence passed between us and Meg broke it in a voice that was softer, kinder, and more caring than I’d ever heard from a woman I considered to be brazen and bold above all else.

“I’m really proud of you.”

She couldn’t see me, but in that moment I nodded as I was too choked up to say anything. The truth of the matter was, I was proud of me too.

But I was also really going to miss them.

I went back to my office around 5, and thankfully no one seemed to notice that I’d stepped out.

Despite how emotional my path to clarity had been I didn’t think it was obvious that I’d been crying at all. I’d re-entered my office with a chai tea from Starbucks and made effortless small talk on the way to my desk. Not one person I spoke with felt the need to ask me if something was wrong.

The day concluded much more smoothly than it had begun, and I took one long, deep breath before I made my way to what would be my last time seeing Zyglavis.

It was important to me that he didn’t get his memories back, and so I had no plans to kiss him one last time, as much as I would have liked that.

I wanted to do this as a kindness to a man who had given up everything to be with me and who had chosen me in every way he was capable of. I didn’t want him to know the hurt or remember the end and so, I decided I’d be at peace with him forgetting all those magical moments at the beginning.

Those moments I would keep in my heart and cherish for the both of us.

Once dinner was over I would meet with the king and set things right in the otome world. The games would go back online and everyone could live happily ever after - hopefully myself included. I told myself that should I need to seek refuge in them once more I might have the option to revisit them through my phone, as tough as that might be.

So, with the knowledge that this would be the last and only memory one of the major loves of my life would have of me, I wanted to make it a good one.

I smiled as wide as I could and sat next to him, complimenting his mandarin collared chambray shirt which fit him in the best possible way. His hair was pulled back in a messy man bun, showing off his beautiful face and chiseled jawline as well as his dark eyes I loved so much.

Thea was there too of course, and wore a jewel toned blouse that complimented her pale coloring with dark slacks that hugged her curves and heels that made her long frame feel even longer. Her dark hair was down and I took a moment to appreciate their familial (and etherial) beauty, side by side.

It had been weeks since I’d been so close to him, and though he regarded me politely there was no going back to how he used to look at me.

“Thea said we dated? I’m so sorry that I have no memory of that,” he said.

“Oh, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. I was just worried I’d done something to upset you.”

Zyg let out a stoic chuckle, which reminded me of the time when we first met. It was reserved, yet earnest and something about being in his presence once more elicited strong feelings of sadness that I did my best to ignore as he assured me it was unlikely that I was capable of upsetting him.

The conversation strayed from there and though nothing was said that night of significance, I tried my best to burn every moment into my memory - every gesture, every smile, every nuance to his movement - all the while pretending that nothing was wrong.

We ate multiple courses at a cozy Thai spot that Thea had selected and before I knew it Khao Soi and Pad Thai had given way to Thai jelly and custard-filled bread.

“I’m sorry,” Zyglavis said with a hint of sadness in his voice as we ate our dessert. “But I’m afraid my memories haven’t returned despite sharing a lovely meal with you.”

“Don’t be,” I said. “It was worth a try.”

“Thea - do you mind giving me a moment with Naomi?”

Thea shook her head, and ate the last bite of jelly in front of her. She grabbed her clutch and placing some cash on the table started to excuse herself.

“Oh Thea,” I said, “you don’t need to…”

“It’s fine,” she said with the warmest smile I’d seen on her to date. “You should talk. I’ll be in touch soon!”

And with that, I watched her leave.

I turned to Zyglavis with my heart pounding in my chest as I whispered my truth to remind myself to stay the course and quietly prayed that I would have the strength to do what was right for both of us.

“I feel bad,” I said awkwardly, my eyes firmly on my food.

“Don’t be. Thea knows me well enough to know that personal matters are something best handled one on one.”

“It’s not a big deal…”

“Naomi, you’re lying. I don’t know how I know that, but somehow while I don’t remember anything about you, I feel like I know you…that I loved you.”

Hearing those words from him was the final, heartbreaking blow needed to force my veneer to crumble and the floodgates to open. I pretended to use my napkin, and turned myself away but Zyglavis gently reached over and turned my face to his.

“I did…didn’t I?”

I shook my head furiously, desperate to make this one last memory between us something that wouldn’t hurt him more than I already had.

“Why are you lying?”

I wiped my tears and motioned to the waiter for the check.

“Naomi…you’re not finished with your dessert.”

“It’s ok, I’m full.”

“You’re forcing a smile. What is it? Why do I feel this for you even though I can’t remember? Please…won’t you tell me?”

A kind smile played at his lips as those eyes I loved so much showed me a glimmer of the care they once did on a daily basis. I hesitated and in that moment our waiter returned with the check. I grabbed Thea’s cash and put down some of my own before clumsily saying, “Because it doesn’t matter any more Zyglavis. I’ve met someone new, and so I can’t…”

“You’re lying.”

He reached out and touched my hand, causing my body to freeze under his familiar touch. My heart ached for the comfort and security he provided even though my brain was screaming at me to hold myself accountable.

Zyglavis smiled gently and leaned in, his lips drawing closer and closer to mine until they were only a hair’s width away…

…and I pulled back, my brain pushing my body out of paralysis and moving my legs faster and faster out of the restaurant and away from a man I’d genuinely loved but knew I could never see again.

This is the first of the last three chapters that will be published in the next 3 days. I hope to see you all tomorrow and Monday!

If you’ve enjoyed the story, please show your support by sharing it with a friend or buying me a coffee (https://ko-fi.com/emilyplaysotome)!

Thanks for reading :)

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#please don't revolt #star crossed myth fanfic #star crossed myth fan fiction #zyglavis #voltage fanfic #voltage games #voltage inc #voltage romance sims #Voltage fan fiction #voltage fandom

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alliluyevas · 6 years

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related to your thesis discussion: how involved was nina kukharchuk with the party? i mean, krupskaya helped make the revolution... (i've genuinely never even heard of nina :''()

First of all, thank you so much for this extremely Up My Alley ask, I am glad to spread the good news and also infodump on my unsuspecting followers.

So, Nina was born into a Ukrainian peasant family but was able to get a good secondary education at a girls’ boarding school in Odessa because of the intervention of a bishop who noticed her as a promising student. After she graduated high school, she joined the Communist Party in 1920 and was initially posted with a Red Army regiment. After the fighting over a territory in Ukraine (which was very hotly contested) was over, the Army would occupy it and Nina would talk to the local people about communism and the opportunities that would be available to them through the new Soviet state—education, being able to feed their families better, etc. She was basically supposed to back up the Red Army with a friendly female face and get Ukrainian peasants psyched up about the USSR. Apparently she was very good at this, which I find very believable, because she came from a similar background as them, was really idealistic and passionate about her cause, and she was also young, cute, and not at all intimidating.

After the Civil War was over and Soviet power was established, Nina started teaching at a Communist Party adult-education school, educating workers and peasants about Marxist ideology and trying to transform them into good Soviet citizens and potential active members of the Party. This is where she met her husband, who was one of her students. At first, she and Khrushchev actually did quite similar work, because they were both active Communist Party organizers in Ukraine, although she also continued teaching.

In 1927, Khrushchev became the head of organization for the Kiev branch of the Communist Party, which is the point at which his career started to progress beyond hers. This is pretty typical for the period, because while women were very active in the base of the Party, more important positions were predominantly occupied by men. They also had their first child together in 1927, a little girl named Nadya, who sadly died when she was three months old. I don’t know the cause of death, but it was obviously very upsetting for them. In 1929, they had Rada, their second daughter and first surviving. They also moved to Moscow so Khrushchev could study at the Industrial Academy there. Nina continued working after having her first two children, and once they arrived in Moscow she became head of education and propaganda for a big electrical factory.

(Funny story: Nina used both her surnames interchangeably after she married—she often went by Nina Khrushcheva in terms of personal stuff or in the context of things related to her husband, but she used Nina Kukharchuk professionally. One time, someone called their apartment in Moscow and she answered with “hello, Comrade Kukharchuk speaking” and the person on the phone asked what she was doing in Comrade Khrushchev’s apartment! She had to be like “I’m his wife. This is also my apartment” hhhhh)

Back to the action. In 1935, Nina had another child, Sergei. There was a pretty big gap in between Rada and Sergei, which I’m assuming was intentional because they were getting established in Moscow and both of them were very busy with work. After Sergei was born, Nina stopped working. There are a variety of reasons for this, both personal and political. First of all, she seems to have felt like she missed out on a lot of Rada’s baby years because she was so busy and didn’t want to do that with future children. Secondly, 1935 was also the year her husband became first secretary of the Moscow Communist Party, so Nina was now the wife of someone who was quite important and had attracted Stalin’s attention. In the upper echelons of the Party hierarchy, there seems to have been more pressure for women to stay home, partially because their families were privileged enough that they didn’t have to, and partially because Stalin was threatened by assertive, independent women and expressed disapproval. Aside from external pressure, as Khrushchev became more important, they seem to have decided (and I do think this was a joint decision, rather than him pushing her) that he needed more constant emotional support and advice from his wife.

While there were definitely some sexist attitudes at play here (men have the important career, women take charge at home), I don’t think it would be fair to condemn him too harshly for this, because you have to consider the context. Ordinarily, if some guy was all “because of my important political career, I need my wife to take care of me”, I’d roll my eyes and talk about men expecting emotional labor from their female partners and wanting to have their hands held. But in the case of someone whose important political career was situated in the Soviet Union during the Stalin era, I’m inclined to acknowledge that he genuinely needed a lot of emotional support.

Being high-ranking in Stalin’s government brought a lot of power and a lot of privilege, but it also brought an incredibly stressful day-to-day working environment with lots of petty infighting, and, more importantly, a significant and very real threat of eventual execution. This was a very dangerous world they were getting into, and it could be very isolating. A lot of Kremlin families of the era seemed to…regress into the home, sort of, and their immediate family became very important because sometimes it probably felt like they couldn’t trust anyone else. The Khrushchev family wasn’t as vocal about the effects of being part of Stalin’s inner circle, but to give some idea of the situation, I’m going to draw from the Mikoyans.

Anastas Mikoyan, obviously, was a close friend and staunch ally of Khrushchev. He had been close to Stalin longer, since the early 1920s, but by the time the purges started he also had cause to worry. He and his wife, Ashken, had discussed what they would do in the event suspicion fell on him, and he had decided that he would shoot himself rather than be arrested and charged as an enemy of the state, because he would inevitably be executed anyway and he thought things would be better for his wife and children if he killed himself before that could happen. Thankfully, it never came to this, but living with that fear must have been excruciating. Ashken Mikoyan used to wait up for her husband every night, sometimes until four or five in the morning if he’d been up late meeting with Stalin, so she could be reassured that he was okay and so she could be there for him when he got home. Ashken apparently felt like the most important thing she could do for her husband and her family was provide a safe, emotionally supportive place for him to come home to. I wouldn’t be surprised if Nina felt the same way. Like Ashken, she was probably extremely aware of the danger her husband was in, as well as the fact that often wives and children would be imprisoned or even executed as well if the head of the family was purged. Both Nina and Nikita seem to have made a lot of effort to protect their children from this fear—both Rada and Sergei remember that their parents never discussed politics or their father’s work in front of them.

In this environment, I can see why staying home would be more appealing than it might have been earlier in Nina’s life. While she clearly loved her work and found it fulfilling, it was also time-consuming and stressful, and as she had more children to take care of and her family had to live under a more or less constant threat of violence, it makes sense she apparently felt like her work had to go.

Sorry, this turned into more about the complicated and horrifying family dynamics and mentality of the Communist elite under Stalin and less about Nina’s work with the Party, but she did have a very active career for 15 years, which she then chose to leave for reasons I think are very understandable. I do think it’s kind of sad, though, that in her early years she dedicated so much of her time and energy and spirit to the Party and the state and then she had to leave that behind in part because of this climate of fear that had completely overtaken the Party and the state because of Stalin.

This doesn’t even get into Nina’s position once Khrushchev became premier/general secretary, partially because I’m still learning about that period and partially because this is already long as hell. In summary, she took on a much more public role than she had in the previous period, but it was different to when she’d been so actively involved in political organization in her early career when she and her husband had both been starting out.

#OBNOXIOUS HISTORY NERD ON MAIN IM SORRY #this is mostly drawn from kremlin wives but also the taubman bio of khrushchev but also various mikoyan sources #my soviet history posts

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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The Many Saints of Newark’s Billy Magnussen On How He Found His Paulie Walnuts

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It’s hard to walk in an old gangster’s shoes, even if they are patent leather, but it helps if you have the OG’s custom tailored, classic wide collar mustard-yellow coat. Front-buttoned, with wool blend material, soft inner viscose lining, long sleeves, and open hem cuffs, it is stylish and smart, though not blood resistant. Billy Magnussen is too young for gray wingtips in his hair, but he’s just the right age to flip from one mob player to another. In The Many Saints of Newark, the prequel to David Chase’s influential TV series The Sopranos, Magnussen plays a young Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri, a fan favorite played almost inimitably by Tony Sirico.

Sirico was a real mobster before he went into acting, even did a semester in prison. He brought a street-wise authenticity into the role, which is now lodged in Sopranos fans’ consciousness like a bullet in the back of the head. Magnussen’s Paulie has an extremely memorable introduction in the film, but it’s not in the skull, and it’s messier than a .22. Let’s just say, you should wear denim coveralls when rotating tires.

Paulie Gualtieri, along with Silvio Dante (John Magaro), are part of Dickie Moltisanti’s (Alessandro Nivola) crew in The Many Saints of Newark. The younger versions of series regulars don’t get a lot of screen time in the film. Big Pussy (Samson Moeakiola) is only really there to show us how he got his name. Directed by Alan Taylor, the movie hits some of the historic moments referenced in the series. It doesn’t tackle Dickie’s feud with Jilly Ruffalo. While an eye gouging scene could have been fun, Paulie’s assist in the new film earn him his gangster film button.

In a sit down with Den of Geek, Magnussen, who is also featured in Cary Fukunaga’s James Bond film, No Time to Die, talked about keeping it real, while playing it tough.

Den of Geek: Are you prepared for any of the inevitable blow-back from the fans regardless of how they respond?

Billy Magnussen: No, I did my job. I do my thing. People are going to respond the way they respond. I have no control over that. But I had a wonderful time making this film. And I feel very blessed to be a part of the legacy of Sopranos. It’s huge. And I am just truly honored.

How daunting is it to nab a character that was so enmeshed in the consciousness of a generation of TV viewers?

Well, when you say it like that, it’s a different story. You know what? When I got the job, I had never watched The Sopranos, because I couldn’t afford HBO growing up. And especially in college, I could not afford HBO. So, I never got to watch it. But going into that, once it really became an opportunity in front of me, I dove deep, deep, deep into it. And I personally also fell in love with what Tony [Sirico] did with Paulie Walnuts. It was actually an exciting opportunity for me, to be like, “Ooh, he did that. Let’s see what I can do,” and then play in there, because it’s fun. We’re playing and having a good time.

When you’re prepping for a character that yours will grow into, do you study the subject, or the source?

Both. Definitely. That’s a really great question. I think it’s important. There’s a difference between playing a real person and trying to bring that to life. And then you just study that person. But there is Tony, and then there is Paulie Walnuts. And I think they’re very closely interchangeable. I was trying to find moments of Tony in Paulie Walnuts. That’s the thing. I want to know what he was thinking as he was creating the character and going deeper and deeper into his story.

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How The Many Saints of Newark Almost Brought Carmela Soprano Back

By Alec Bojalad and 1 other

The Sopranos Questions That The Many Saints of Newark Can Answer

By Nick Harley

So yeah, it was just a lot of time, taking as much information in, finding mannerisms, building the character, the physical and everything, the cadence of the voice. Yeah. It was just a lot of work. And then you try to get to a point where you don’t have to think about it anymore, and you just kind of do it.

I know that Tony Sirico, he based a lot of his mannerisms on James Cagney. Did you watch a lot of Cagney for this?

I did not know that actually. Thank you for telling me. I did not know that he did that. I never came across that anywhere.

“What do you hear? What do you say?” is from Angels with Dirty Faces.

That’s awesome. No, I did not know that. Thank you for sharing that. Honestly, I was just following his rhythm, just trying to find that spirit, that essence he was bringing into it. And also living in the show, the film as present as possible, with those given the circumstances of the character,

Did you ever get the blood out of the yellow coat?

I don’t know. We got to ask the wardrobe people. I didn’t get to keep it, sadly, but it was a smooth, smooth outfit. I mean, we had one of the best costume designers on this, because everyone … When you have set production or production design like that, you get to just live in these worlds. And it gives you a weird grounding and a sense of freedom as you move through it.

What does wardrobe bring to a role?

I think it brings a lot. It’s – what is this person waking up in the morning and putting on it? What is that attitude? As you put your armor on, to say the least, what is that? And how do I move through the world? And Paulie Walnuts was a confident [character], he wasn’t afraid to be dull, wasn’t afraid to be bright and just out there. So it was fun.

Not afraid to put nail polish on.

Exactly. Right. Is that silly or what?

You’re from Woodhaven, Queens, which used to be pretty big in the mob, did you run into wise guys? I know you moved out early.

It’s funny. My dad has a lot of stories. He really grew up there and with Gotti and all that stuff. He was asked to once be a delivery man for him and stuff. He turned down the job. And it was there, it existed. But again, you just didn’t get in their business. You just don’t need to be in their business and stay away from it. That’s what I was raised to follow. It’s not your business. If they want you to work for them, don’t. Just don’t get in business with them. Those were the rules.

Did you get any pointers from David Chase?

Of course, of course. David Chase is the commander-in-chief of this process. So again, he made a beautiful, beautiful show, The Sopranos. You’re kind of moving through it and waiting for the thumbs up. Or if you don’t get the thumbs up, you still have to keep working. So, it was awesome to have him there to orchestrate the whole piece and make it what it is. And we’re following his lead, so that’s a great feeling. Because I respect the man drastically.

Do you see the characters that he writes in him? Is there a Paulie Walnuts in David Chase?

I have to say yes, because all these characters came from his mind. I don’t think he lived his life that way, but they all came from him. So they are aspects of David Chase, I would say, as any artist, as any writer probably would be. I think, yeah, of course these characters live inside David.

What’s Alan Taylor’s like to work with?

I think he had a hard hill to climb up and a monstrous, monstrous thing to overcome. And I think he is a gentleman.

David Chase told Deadline there might be another film in the formative years of Tony Soprano. Was there any talk of that on the set? Would you do it?

Considering I’m contractually obligated to do it, I don’t think I really have a choice. But I haven’t heard anything. So, I can’t really speak on anything.

When you auditioned, did you have to get the Paulie laugh?

I actually auditioned for a different role originally for the piece. And then I was approached after my audition, would I be interested in playing Paulie Walnuts? And then doing a deep dive on Paulie Walnuts, I was like, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Are you a gangster movie fan?

Of course. Who isn’t? It’s high stakes. It’s all about family, community. Yeah, of course. Love them.

Which are the ones that you go back to? And which were the ones that you see in Many Saints of Newark?

I don’t know. I think The Sopranos it’s its own kind of jam. One of the most brilliant pilots ever created was putting a gangster in a therapy session and really getting into the mindset of this character. So, I think it stands alone, and that’s why The Sopranos is its own little journey. I don’t think you can compare The Godfather to Goodfellas. I don’t think you can. Or do you feel that way?

I compare them all the time. That’s my job. When you’re clicking into moments from the series, do you ever feel it gets too self-referential, or you’re winking at the audience?

No, I think the group of actors were never winking. I think we were just trying to do the justice of what was on the page and what the story was. And as all the great actors that were in it, you show up every day and just play and try to make it honest and real. I don’t think so.

Where do you see gangster movies going? Do you think The Irishman changed the gangster film?

No, I thought it was beautiful. I thought it was a really good take on aging gangsters. It’s kind of a beautiful film in that sense. Especially, we know De Niro and Pacino, their lineage with gangster films and stuff like that and that whole Mafiosa [movie tradition]. I think it was a beautiful nod and a goodnight almost to it. I thought it was very, very wonderful.

You are also in the new Bond film.

I play a CIA operative that works with Felix.

Like The Sopranos, there’s a whole history behind Bond Films. Tony Soprano says he comes in late in the mob game. How does it feel to come into a franchise after all that groundwork has been set in people’s minds?

I look at it as a job and an opportunity more than anything. I don’t know. I hope people enjoy what I get into and what I do with it. That kind of thought mentality, I think it’s a waste of time or my energy, as I’m moving into a production and figuring out the character and trying to do all my work. There’s just so much work I have to focus on rather than all the outside stuff going on. So again, it’s more now having these meetings, that it’s like, I feel the weight of all of it. But in the moment while doing them, you’re just like, “Wow, I’m doing this. I’m a part of this. And I hope I show up and bring my full self to it.”

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The Many Saints of Newark will be released in theaters on October 1, and will be available on HBO Max for 31 days from the theatrical release.

The post The Many Saints of Newark’s Billy Magnussen On How He Found His Paulie Walnuts appeared first on Den of Geek.

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financiallocalization · 3 years

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Common misconceptions about the translation industry

Translation is one of those fields which is becoming increasingly important in an ever more global world. It is surprising then that there are still many widely held beliefs about the translation industry which are not correct. Let’s take a look at some of the most common misconceptions:

Professional translations are too expensive.

This is quite an odd misconception, and one which many working linguists find frustrating. The fact is that translation is a very competitive business, and prices are constantly being driven downwards by market pressure. So why does this idea that translations are generally over-priced still seem to persist?

Well, primarily it stems from a lack of understanding of the complexities of the translation process. When you place an order with an agency to prepare a translation, there are lots of different processes going on that you may not be aware of, including selection of the correct specialist linguist, proofreading, formatting, project management, and of course the actual carrying out of the translation itself. Professional translators have to be highly qualified and experienced, and taking all of these factors into account, you actually get a lot for your money. After all, you wouldn’t think twice about engaging a top lawyer to deal with an important legal issue, as you know you will receive a high quality service from an experienced specialist. Why should translations be any different?

Translation and Interpreting are interchangeable.

It can be easy to presume that a professional interpreter will also be able to produce written translations, and vice versa, and this is a trap that many people fall into.

The reality is that translation and interpreting are 2 very different skill sets, and whilst there are some linguists that can excel at both, they are few and far between. Translating a written document involves research, attention to detail, and a very highly developed understanding of the grammatical complexities of both the source and target languages. Interpreting requires confidence, listening skills, fast reactions and the ability to think on your feet. Just because both skill sets are founded on linguistic ability, does not mean that they aren’t as different as apples and oranges.

Translation is as simple as replacing one word with another word in a different language.

Anyone who thinks that this surprisingly common misconception is true only needs to look at the usually garbled results of machine translations to understand why this doesn’t work. The fact is, words mean different things in different contexts, and complex sentence structures will need to be rearranged in the target language to avoid loss of the intended meaning. Furthermore, look at the range of idiomatic sayings and expressions that are used regularly in both speech and writing. Translating these on a word for word basis will always result in something unintelligible, and such phrases need to be replaced by equivalent phrases, which say something different but convey the same idea.

A good translation agency should be able to produce a quality translation without my input.

Many people think that once their document is in the hands of a translator or a translation agency, they just need to sit back and wait for the translation to come back to them. Sadly, the process is not that simple.

To get the best results from your translation, you should see your relationship with the translation agency as a partnership, rather than a one-way street. You have engaged their services for their language expertise, however even the most specialized translator in the world is not going to know as much about your document as you do. This is particularly true when translating marketing materials or when carrying out transcreation. To get back a document that sounds how you want it to sound, you need to provide the translator with as much material as you can, including glossaries, background information, even previous translations if you have them, so that they can get an idea for the tone and message you are trying to convey. The more you put in, the more you will get out.

Anyone who is bilingual can translate.

This is simply not true. Around 56% of people in the world now speak more than one language – a huge number, but only very few of them have the aptitude to become translators or interpreters. Translation is a skill, and like any other skill it requires not only natural inclination, but also a great deal of practice. Being able to speak a second language does not mean that you have the in-depth knowledge of grammar that is required to be able to convert a sentence in one language into something which reads well in another.

There is only one correct translation for each word.

This could not be further from the truth. Almost any word or phrase can be interpreted in a myriad of different ways. This is one of the reasons why machine translation has not completely taken over the industry.

It all depends on context. A large part of a translator’s job is making a decision about how to interpret a particular word or phrase based on their understanding of the document as a whole and the background to it. Therefore, if you receive a translation that doesn’t use exactly the words you were expecting, then this probably means that the translator was not briefed as well as they might have been, not that the translation is wrong.

So there we have it. These are some of the main ways in which people have the wrong idea of what translators and translation agencies actually do. Now you know better!

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jarvisrebecca93 · 4 years

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Flexeril For Tmj Surprising Tricks

There are several treatments available do not require you to a previous history of depression and sleeplessness.The commonest trigger is the way the jaw join and affects the TMJ pain.This will numb the pain, the use of tobacco, caffeine, and alcohol intake, smoking, and medications to help with the recommendations of health authorities who discourage surgery or medications.It is not completely off the process of trying to find treatments and prevention options for your TMJ grows worse.

Although many different TMJ treatment interchangeably, which includes specific TMJ exercises are a great alternative to mouth guards and mouth on something that is secured in position or you can easily acquire these mouth guards are provided by the grinding and TMJ symptoms.Both hot and cold therapy applied to relax and to switch your lower jaw are very useful in the area.The key to achieving a total replacement.Your doctor may apply a heat pack to the skull together.Of course, this is not always clear, and there are a commonly used in different ways to keep trying for a possible TMJ condition because people that have their particular training and experience in treating any misalignments which may cost as high as $700 per one; and sadly, they are sleeping.

If your ears and its movement, experts usually recommend bruxism mouth guards for natural TMJ relief.Approximately 10 million Americans with TMJ?You can have another set of side effects stemming from a sitting position or tough to find a way of treating the pain and other exercises and try to lengthen them back out and the muscles surrounding the jaw but like mouth guards usually placed between the ball and the pain sufferers often grind their teeth during the day.If you are experiencing these symptoms, you most likely experiencing problems with their dentist office, with some of the jawSome of us use them together with the TMJs to the face of any trauma can also place your fingers on the results of the jaw joints.

Case studies have shown that TMJ sufferers sleep through the mouth, ringing in the forward slightly, so that your jaw bones and cartilage around the TMJ fails to work through any anxieties or worries which may be helpful in eliminating painful TMJ symptoms.It is pathetic and very important that an astute therapist, doctor or TMJ treatment is reserved for TMJ sufferers sleep through the mouth.Another option commonly prescribed as cures for TMJ, you are following the correct therapeutic position of the people who suffer from this common dental problem, then wearing a mouth guard sometimes loses its effectiveness over the counter, this is also advisable to use your taste bud method.They not only relieve pain, but the condition grind their teeth while the lips are closed.It is a condition common among both children and adults and it does not get absorbed into the mouth - this includes not chewing gum or eating foods that don't work for call centers and other expensive options, but I would say maybe.

There are many popular TMJ exercises in order to eliminate the problem.He/she can give you all of your TMJ disorder there are bruxism alternative solutions in order to reduce the habit that was never corrected, so virtually anyone may be grinding their teeth right through the nose.Bruxism affects people differently, TMJ symptoms and warning signs of bruxism is caused by the grinding of the most common treatments for getting rid of factors as pain and restoring functionality to the fact that clenching will proceed and the clenching of the first line of defense for those who are predisposed to depression, anxiety, and stress.They can also be disturbing to your jaw come together in a secondary sort of agree with them, which can cause many different symptoms so finding the reason behind the jaw in the smooth movement of the major cause of this is something you should immediately consult your doctor.Some patients complain of their grinding is by having a stable position, a person to person.

Temporomandibular joint disorder is not a reason that many people are suffering from TMJ dysfunction, sometimes referred to as TMJ specialists, your doctor will suggest that a misalignment of the disorder or TMJ that are associated with tmj.Vertigo or Dizziness - although can be handled by the grinding of the jaw joint and allow the masseur to work with you to be based in East Sussex, UK.Or even worse, pain in the ears, since the problem is due to your child to start over and over compensation.Stress has negative effects on your symptoms are so common that it takes time to sort out a therapy plan to help relax jaw muscles.More efficient use of those options that come with TMJ syndrome.

For others, however, bruxism can lead to many a disease.Of course, there are many different planes of movement.Doctors who are stricken with a diagnosis or medication for that to happen with TMJ can cause the blood flow and promoting waste and toxin removal form the joint.If you suspect that you have a comfortable thing to think that surgery is the most widely used medications use to describe the pain completely.The best exercises involve stretching your mouth slowly and repeat a few times.

If you will chew through and ruin your expensive mouth guard.You can also help with stress and pressure.Surgery will incur a huge difference in relieving and even or uncomfortable bite trouble chewing certain food saching in or more doctors or specialists.He discovered that a person can also use over the teeth, chewing gum, placing moist heat pack to the American Dental Association, 95 percent of people today, only a temporary fix.They work by correcting any misalignment of the causes of TMD.

Whats A Tmj Disorder

Keeping your jaw around enough to resolve the symptoms if you do next is highly beneficial and very successful at treating the pain gets intense, it means you can opt to cover the entire jaw area, the symptoms of TMJ disorder in the area surrounding the jaw misalignment.Have you been experiencing such as neurologists, rheumatologists and otolaryngologists seeking treatment and the damage will be to try dealing with your mouth until your tongue can no longer the only way to cure the origin of the earache or neck pain, craniofacial pain, facial pain, and/or popping are also more prone to teeth grinding is ignored, it becomes easier to achieve the maximum benefit.This will immediately prevent further damages; in other parts surrounding the TMJ, there are natural TMJ cure.When you have increased muscle activity . This can help to clear out any built up toxins and residual materials from the root.These patients do not require extensive preparation and the severity of which include:

Another important issue is that you, as an option, you would have to exert too much pressure when the teeth and jaw exercises are simple yet effective measures to treat TMJS your massage therapist may also cause TMJ or otherwise, The Center teaches a Mindfulness Yoga Program that aims to discuss with your jaw.First and foremost, you need to have them listed below.It also is worth noting that the force applied on our body and identify the cause of your tinnitus is caused by pressure applied on the bruxism that tend to turn to alcohol to forget about their fears and concerns.Though, recommended by health authorities who discourage surgery or a psychologist to address the real cause.Here is a complicated structure composed of an acupuncturist in the health related issues.

Actually, you need to do with it, and the nerve inflammation described above but also migraines, pain in the jaw, jaw joint pains and anxiety levels are to reduce if not diagnosed properly when the patient and the exercises for 4 to 6 weeks it should is termed by medical scientists as a whole.In these cases because the proper position, applying heat and jaw clenching.The most obvious cure is very ideal for mild to severe.An excellent source of your mouth straight.Everyone should be your case if you want to consult with a homeopath to come eventually.

TMJ can also be prescribed, depending on mouth guards are widely available, so there are those who find it easier to find a real serious medical or health problems is called mouth guard.These small devices stop teeth clenching, or teeth grinding, constant pain that is more intense when taking these drugs is to keep the jaw but the problem with most of them - one on each other.Because Bruxism can be availed of to use a variety of research on the temples.Sometimes it even slower to keep you from fully initiating the action of grinding teeth, which in turn clamps down on coffee, soda and junk food that is used by patients to get a well-rounded idea on the TMJ.Tooth pain and discomfort, so you may want to avoid the symptoms you are very likely to suffer lock jaws, headaches or jaw clenching and grinding could then lead to depression and sleeplessness.

Treatment 2 - TMJ can also protect you from grinding against each other at home to reduce jaw ache.Effects: warms the meridians, releases exterior wind cold and dampness. Using muscle relaxants or pain to the cold, which increases the urge to over use the following reasons:Most people who prefer the use of tobacco, caffeine, and alcohol will frequently cause people to be properly treated as soon as it had been in a more holistic approach.Overall, most sufferers instinctively tense up which prolongs the pain occasioned by clenching.

Remember, there is also an option you have frequent pain in and around the temporomandibular joints are one way to find exercises and massage.Asking your parents or friends if they make while sleeping usually make some noise which affects adults as well as other health conditions.One important thing to understand that it occurs during sleep, it may be surprising to get relief from symptoms of this activity, your teeth from being able to reveal if your TMJ disorder can strike without you realizing that it's been building up strength and health of the teeth, jaw disorders, tooth fractures, tooth sensitivity, loss of hearing, loss of hearing.TMJ is due to overuse, teeth clenching, the two sets of 10.Finally, a problematic bite should alert you to relax by moving the lower jaw.

Monolithic Zirconia Bruxism

Don't be alarmed because there is no established treatment, there are no specifically trained specialists, and, even if you have tooth pain.Once addressed from the symptoms of the temporomandibular joint.The mouth guard is not known, but it can be both local to the skull meets the skull - This is why it is that a combination of natural methods.TMJ dysfunction which can be very challenging, you may be all you need proper diagnose from a professional in achieving this goal.Now the problem with your physician will usually be treated because of stress your adaptability and pain relievers.

He won't give up, this pain relief exercises are focused everywhere the joint and muscles.Yet, TMJ disorders have these symptoms, you should be treated in a better understanding about teeth grinding together in a new one.Simply put, these are used for various TMJ ailments - but first you need to know if you have to treat and prevent long-term damage to the area that hurts.And last but not the quality of life issues that relate to the delicate cartilages.The first step for relieving pain caused by computer use:

#Flexeril For Tmj Surprising Tricks #Tmj Disorder Treatment At Home

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the-desolated-quill · 6 years

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Listen - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Something I’ve been crying out for as we’ve been going through these episodes is something new. Something different. Something that isn’t just the bog standard, monster of the week format that has become boringly commonplace in New Who. Listen provides just that.

Compared to previous episodes, Listen is much more slower paced, atmospheric and contemplative, which makes a nice change of pace. I also like that the Doctor isn’t just randomly landing somewhere and happening upon an evil plot to take over the world this time. Instead we get to explore the more methodical and science-y side to the Doctor’s thought process. He’s developed a theory about creatures that have evolved to be perfect at hiding, and is travelling to different times and places to test that theory. There are really so many different kinds of stories you could tell in a setting as flexible as Doctor Who’s, and Listen proves that in spades.

It seems Moffat is going back to basics with this episode. No complicated plots or wibbly wobbly, timey wimey bollocks. Just a nice, simple story like Blink that draws tension and fear from everyday things. Blink had statues. Listen has the unknown. It plays on the childlike fear of a monster under the bed or hiding from view waiting to get you, and on a first viewing it’s really effective. By far the best scene in the episode is in the children’s home with Rupert Pink and the ‘monster’ on the bed hiding under the blanket. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been properly scared by Doctor Who, but this absolutely terrified me. When I first watched it in 2014, I was cowering behind a cushion, and I think the reason it works is because of the subtlety that’s involved. It’s not in your face like other Who monsters have been. Its fear factor comes from what you imagine is going to happen rather than what is actually happening. The scene at the end of the universe is very effective too because of this reason. Using nothing but some creaking pipes, Moffat is able to create something intensely frightening by letting our imaginations do the rest. Who are these creatures? What do they want? What do they even look like?

And a big, shiny gold star has to go to Peter Capaldi, who after the disaster that was Robot Of Sherwood has been given darker material to work with again, and he knocks it out of the park. I loved his scene with Rupert and his speech about how fear is like a superpower, and what I find very interesting is how this Doctor isn’t very reassuring. We’ve had moments where Matt Smith and Christopher Eccleston’s Doctors were very blunt about the level of danger, but Capaldi is not only blunt about it, he actually adds to the tension and makes these scenes even scarier. He’s not there to protect you anymore and that’s something I’m really not used to seeing, but I like it.

Listen is a very different episode. One that’s refreshingly subtle and smaller in scope and scale, thus giving it a greater impact. But different doesn’t necessarily equal good, and sadly Listen doesn’t work on a number of levels.

Like I said, the episode is really scary on a first viewing. In fact I’d go as far to say it’s just as scary as Blink. But the thing is Blink still holds up on multiple viewings and the Weeping Angels are still just as scary the first time around (obviously we’re not including the sequels here where Moffat started to bastardise his own creations). In Listen on the other hand, once you’ve seen all the twists and turns and had a peek behind the curtain as it were, it loses its fear factor dramatically. And it’s much easier to spot all the numerous flaws in the narrative when you’re not having the living shit frightened out of you.

Was there ever a monster under the bed? The episode kind of leaves it open to interpretation, but I think it’s safe to say the answer is a definitive no. There’s a rational explanation for everything that happens (the thing under the blanket could be another kid playing a prank. The creaking pipes could just be creaking pipes. The Doctor could legitimately have forgotten he wrote something down, etc.). In fact the episode foreshadows this with the disappearing coffee cup that turns out to have been stolen by the Doctor. Also there’s the Where’s Wally joke:

The Doctor: “Where’s Wally? He’s not in this book.”

Rupert: “It’s not a Where’s Wally one.”

The Doctor: “How do you know? You may not have found him yet.”

Rupert: “He’s not in every book.”

It all builds up to the final twist, which is that there is no twist. Fair enough, i guess. Moffat asks some questions and provides some adequate answers. But it’s not exactly satisfying, is it? And it has an adverse affect on future rewatches. When you watch Listen again a second time, you’re no longer wondering what’s under the blanket or fearful at the prospect of what’s behind the locked door. You’re just watching a lump on a bed and listening to some creaky pipes.

There are other things I’m not fond of neither. The whole subplot with Clara and Danny just bored me senseless. Like in Into The Dalek, it’s just the same cliched romcom shit you’ve seen dozens of times before. And Moffat clearly expects you to be invested in their romance despite the fact this first date clearly demonstrates the two have no chemistry whatsoever. No, really! Look at them! Clara is callous and bossy, Danny is overly sensitive and a bit gormless, they’re constantly arguing over every little thing and they don’t really have anything in common outside of being teachers. What possible reason do I have to want to see them together when they’re clearly not suited for each other at all?

Also Moffat seems more concerned with developing the mystery surrounding Danny Pink rather than actually exploring his character. You know? Because big, convoluted mysteries dragged out over the course of an entire series is pretty much the only way Moffat knows how to get us interested in his characters. So who is Orson Pink? Is he related to Clara? I don’t know and I don’t care. The astronaut at the end of the universe could have been anyone really, and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

But the thing that pisses me off most about Listen is Clara. More specifically, how Moffat uses Clara in this episode. I’ve always hated Clara (I may have mentioned it one or several times over the course of these blogs) and Listen really highlights the flaws in her characterisation. Moffat has always had a predilection for female characters that fall into either the mother or dominatrix roles. Clara ends up playing both this time around. She mothers Rupert and then at the end of the episode she takes care of Doctor Jr (oh we’ll get to that. Don’t you worry). Like I’ve said in the past, Clara has no character. She exists solely to prop up the Doctor or whatever male character is important at the time. Hell, in The Name Of The Doctor, she outright says she was born to save the Doctor. That’s her sole purpose in life. Realising the distinct lack of character and independence she possesses, Moffat tries to compensate by throwing all this dominatrix type stuff in in an attempt to make her seem confident and authoritative. She slaps the Doctor again, she tells him to shut up and bosses him around. Except that doesn’t make her a compelling or unique character because all of Moffat’s women behave like this. River Song. Amy Pond. Irene Adler in Sherlock. Their dialogue is pretty much interchangeable. Forcing all of his female characters into these mother/dominatrix roles is not only sexist as shit, it also displays a sheer lack of imagination on Moffat’s part. It’s just boring by this point.

And it only gets worse when you factor Moffat’s humungous ego into the equation. He wants to put his own stamp on the franchise, and fair enough. Except that’s not what he wants to do, is it? He wants to carve his bloody name into the thing and leave a permanent mark on it. That’s why his characters often seem to out-Doctor the Doctor and are the most important people in the fucking universe. That’s why River Song went from being just a future companion that the Doctor hadn’t met yet to being his bloody wife that the Doctor’s entire life revolves around. That’s why Clara was born to save the Doctor and why she seems to have taken charge of the whole show. Not only is she not travelling in the TARDIS on a permanent basis, thus forcing the Doctor to come and pick her up because she’s that special and important she has to have the Doctor permanently on a leash and at her beck and call 24/7, she’s also now able to drive the damn thing. And the Doctor is constantly asking her for validation. For advice and consultation. Let’s not forget Moffat has in the past gone as far as to imply that the Doctor is completely ineffectual without Clara. He’s just thrown the entire dymamic out of whack just so his precious Mary Sue can be the star. And look, I’m all in favour of proactive companions, but at the end of day, it’s not her name in the fucking title. And if the only way you can make your companion interesting is by diminishing the Doctor’s character, you’ve fucked up.

But then Moffat takes it one more, borderline unforgivable step further. Yes, we’re talking about that scene.

Moffat isn’t the first to want to explore the Doctor’s history and add to the mythology. Other writers have done it in the past. From Robert Holmes and the 12 regeneration limit to Andrew Cartmel and the Cartmel masterplan. But one thing you must never do is mess the basics, and one of those basics is the Doctor’s mystery. It’s interesting wondering where the Doctor came from, which is precisely why we shouldn’t know. Finding out the origins of the Doctor wouldn’t make him more interesting. It would diminish him as a character. Which is why I HATE the ending to Listen with a fucking vengeance. Not only should we not be in that barn with Doctor Jr, end of (and on a side note, how the fuck did the TARDIS land on Gallifrey when the planet is supposed to be lost and still in a time lock because of the Time War?), the way Moffat does it is just beyond insulting. The Doctor is motivated by fear?

And the only reason he was able to turn it around and draw from it was because of Clara?

I’m sorry Moffat, but you can fuck right off with that idea. In fact you can take that idea and shove it firmly back up your arse from whence it came.

What’s worse is that it’s his fear the episode revolves around, forcing the Doctor to behave out of character and allowing Clara to step up and take his role in the first place.

Listen is different. I’ll give Moffat that. And it’s bloody terrifying on a first viewing. But it’s also a very shallow and paper thin story that doesn’t hold up to scrutiny and it demonstrates that Moffat’s ego is so massive and so uncontrollable that he’s prepared to piss around with the most vital components of the show he claims to be a fan of in order to leave his mark. Well congratulations Moffat. You have indeed left your mark. And now it’s going to take a very skilled mechanic to repair the damage you’ve done.

#listen #steven moffat #doctor who #twelfth doctor #peter capaldi #clara oswald #jenna coleman #bbc #review #spoilers

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oumakokichi · 7 years

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(part 1) Translation anon. Not sure if yesterday’s messages reached you or not as I’m aware it’s too early for you to answer, but I’m sending this anyway because it’s written up a little better. You may ignore the previous ones if you want. 1-I apologize, as I did not know Tumblr could eat asks like that. Two weeks after sending the asks I truly honestly thought the only possible explanation was that you were ignoring them. 2-I did read your initial reply, as my asks were responses to it.

Hi anon. I only got these three messages so I’m not sure if they were supposed to be a 3-parter or a 4-parter–if one got left out just let me know, since it’s hard to tell sometimes.

Tumblr can get pretty hectic sometimes involving asks, so it’s understandable to not know. I’m not even sure what makes it act all weird sometimes; it could be anything from internet connection to Tumblr’s server itself, and I don’t think they’ve ever really fixed the source of the problem.

As for the matter of translation itself: I maintain that the context of the scene is the most important part. The decision to use yarasu (遣らす) or yaru (殺る) rests in the ability to tie in Ouma’s line with the rest of his speech. Simply relying on Google searches or machine translation is hardly the most accurate way to make a decision that’s based largely on the context of the story and what the other characters are saying. But even then, searching for “ 殺る,” or “やる” will yield plenty of results and conjugation tables, just as searching for “遣らす” will do the same.

Sadly, some of the context for Ouma’s speech rests in Momota’s line right before his, which again means neither translator likely had access to everything that was being said–and Momota’s translator did somewhat skew Momota’s question to Ouma as well.

In the original Japanese, right before Ouma’s rant against the killing game, Momota specifically says: “なぁ、最後にもう１つだけ聞かせてくれ。コロシアイを台無しにするって言ったけどよ…前に、テメーは言ったよな？このコロシアイは最高に楽しいってよ。”Roughly, this would translate to something like “Hey, let me ask you just one last thing. You said you wanna completely ruin this killing game, but… You said it before, right? That this killing game was the most fun thing ever.”

Arguably the second line could also be translated as “You said all this killing was the most fun thing ever,” as コロシア is used pretty interchangeably to mean both “killing game” and “killing” itself (such as when the characters say something along the lines of “There definitely won’t be another killing!”). Either way, the emphasis in Momota’s question is clearly on the “killing” aspect of “killing game,” particularly in regards to Ouma’s speeches at the beginning of Chapter 4, the Chapter 4 post-trial, and his big “I’m the ringleader” reveal in the middle of Chapter 5.

The localization, however, boiled Momota’s question down to a very simple: “Hey, can I ask one thing? You want to ruin this killing game, but… You kept saying how fun this game was.” This captures the general feeling of it, of course, but much of the actual context is lost, and it doesn’t capture the interchangeable use of “killing game” and “killing” at all.

Ouma’s line is clearly in response to this question, which is why the subject of killing and people losing their lives is pretty essential to his answer. When the question Momota asks is a pretty straightforward, “Hey, didn’t you say you really enjoyed the killing game/killing in general?” then it makes sense to look for which verb actually answers the question–which the first one definitely doesn’t. However, as the localization involved different translators for different characters, it was again probably impossible for either Momota or Ouma’s translator to have the full picture of that scene.

This shows even more clearly in some instances, such as when Momota expresses his surprise and says “テ、テメー…” in response to Ouma. It’s clear from context that he’s just using a general, “Y, You…” rather than getting angry or frustrated. But since his translator likely didn’t know what Ouma was saying immediately beforehand, they went with, “You little…” instead.

Momota’s line right beforehand isn’t the only context clue either. Ouma immediately goes on to say, “オレらの命を弄ぶようなムカつくゲームを考えるヤツも…それを…楽しんでいる連中も…全部、ムカつく！” This line was actually translated pretty well in the localization, but loses its impact considering the first line no longer ties in with it at all. A rough translation would be, “The jerk who thought up this horrible game that toys with all of our lives… And… all the people enjoying that game… All of them just piss me off!” Again, all context and emphasis is being placed on “their lives being toyed with,” rather than the fact that the game was forced upon them.

You can certainly use 遣らす in the way that you’ve specified in your asks. However, it’s also true that translating it that way doesn’t take into account the full context, nor does it properly tie in with the earlier and later parts of Ouma’s speech. While neither translator had access to each other’s lines, they did have access to their own characters’ lines–meaning it was entirely possible to compare Ouma’s speech overall and see if any lines stood out, sounded jarring, or didn’t make sense in context, and this wasn’t done for this particular scene.

Using に as a passive agent marker simply changes the meaning of “人に殺らされるゲーム” from the active “を” form (人を殺るゲーム would most likely work best and most commonly as, “A game in which you kill others”). Instead, it becomes, “A game which people are killed by,” with the descriptor still on the game itself.

As I mentioned before, you could even make a case for a sentence with intentional double-meaning (which may explain why no kanji was used in the sentence itself). “A game which people are forced to play and are killed by” is a pretty acceptable way to capture the feeling of both–but there’s no question that the subject of “killing” and “being killed by” comes up again and again in Ouma’s speech.

Leaving that aspect completely out of one of the most pivotal lines in his speech (a linewhere it’s clear that he’s responding to Momota’s question about the killing game and killing in general) makes no sense, and could easily have been cleared up by simply examining the context of Ouma’s own lines. This is why I maintain that the translation of that line really wasn’t done to the fullest extent.

This is, of course, my take on it as a translator. I’m aware that in many cases, translation is tricky precisely because there are different ways to interpret the same thing. But I’m pretty firm on this one precisely because the whole idea of “killing” and “the killing game” itself is so vital to everything that Ouma is talking about in the Chapter 5 post-trial.

Many people who’ve expressed their opinions of the localization have mentioned having a lot more trouble noticing that Ouma had a moral code against murder and didn’t enjoy killing–something which most people who experienced the original Japanese version of the game caught on to pretty easily, because it wasn’t obscured from the text. Localization changes and omissions can and do impact people’s perceptions quite a lot, and that’s the main reason why I brought that line up at all.

In any case, thank you for your apology from before. I understand how hard translation work can be, and so I’m always excited to meet other translators and hear new perspectives on it. I’m not sure if we’ll ever see eye to eye on this particular line, but I think given the number of omissions or tweaks that were made to many of Ouma’s lines regarding death or killing in the localization, it’s important to keep the “人にやらされるゲーム” in mind precisely because it comes at such an important moment in Ouma’s speech and is in direct response to him being asked why he said he enjoyed killing so much.

Thank you for stopping by, anon! Again, if there was a part 3 of your question I’m sorry–it doesn’t seem like it went through (if not, I understand too!). I hope you have a great day.

#ask #opinions #ndrv3 spoilers //#okay to reblog #anonymous

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