Quackity: This project is not over and I’ll do everything necessary to strengthen it day by day. It is a process. Step by step, and it will take time. But I’m taking care of it. [...] I have a personal conviction with this project and I’ll keep working to improve it.

This video is also available on Quackity's VOD YouTube channel, and will include English translations very soon. Please take a moment to read through the transcript of his stream in the meantime; I think it will help a lot of people feel a little bit better.

Translations provided by @QuackitySubs.

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

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Quackity: I turned on stream to give an announcement regarding what’s happening with the QSMP structure. I know there’s people with many doubts about lots of things so I hope this helps you all understand a little bit more. I’ll be saying all of this in Spanish because I find it easier to express myself in it since it’s my first language. I wanted to make that clear.

I want to give, and explain, a little bit of the context of everything, ok? These past three weeks have been very turbulent regarding many aspects. The restructuring process that’s going on for the project has not been easy at all. Before I involved myself, and I said it before, there was people who damaged the project in very harmful ways, administrative and financially wise. I addressed this before. But I haven’t given any updates or anything of that nature because the only updates I’ve had are all inner and of legal matter. Therefore, there are no visible changes, but they’re important ones that need to be done.

I’m telling you: people with ill intent have been removed from the project, and I’m still in the process with people that have caused a lot of this harm since the beginning. That has been one of the main focuses of this restructuring that’s being carried out. Guys, I want to make something very clear: during this process, the actions that are being made have to be done with extreme care.

Recently, I’ve wanted to give many updates both inside and outside, but we’re facing a very critical issue that’s leaked information. I don’t know if the people who leaked information and announcements from the inside knew this was going on. But when I gave inside information and it leaked where it shouldn’t have; that affected the process that was needed to take care of many things. And the people who affected me administratively and financially, which I already talked about in a past stream, found out about matters that they shouldn’t have known about and used this information to twist it and affect the process. This complicated to a great extent many things. This is why I haven’t given any announcements. This is why I’m not able to talk freely as much I’d like to, and I’m not ignoring or evading but a very, very delicate process is being carried out.

Since the beginning it was known, within my involvement, that to achieve a complete change we had to start with the people who affected me, the project, and that were the cause of many issues that have been going on this whole year. With that being said, what happened was we started looking for a financial strategy for the project because the costs are very high. The project was going to shut down, I already talked about this. And as soon as I could define through different strategies, if there was a way to support the project, the next step was going to reestablish the many QSMP parts that did not longer exist. And I want to make something very clear; given the financial circumstances of the server, I did not want to make anybody a promise that not even I knew could be fulfilled. For this reason, this element was still present- the financial element, and I could not give any more inner updates because I was working on a very important part of the financial element of the server.

It is my understanding that the lack of communication has been notorious, and I reiterate, it’s not on purpose. There are many matters behind the scenes that I’ve been meaning to address, but I’ve had to be very, very careful. I understand if there are people who do not agree with the approach of the process, and if you don’t trust the project neither the process that’s being carried out, don’t worry. I don’t have an issue if you stop consuming the project. I understand that completely. I said I had a personal conviction with the project and it will stay that way.

I’ve been working arduously, and I’m going to do everything in my power for the project to continue but with the best conditions possible, and something I want to make very clear is that this process takes time. That is something I want to make very clear. This process takes time.

Guys, there’s people who have parted ways with the project and that will continue leaving on their own will and I understand that fully. I don’t have a problem with whoever took or will take this decision and I wish them the absolute best. In fact, I made an inner announcement where I let them know that a restructure would take time to be implemented. And there’s people that, for reasons, no longer want to be a part of this project, and I completely understand it because it’s not easy to be in adjustment stages, so I understand. Something I announced from the beginning was that my main goal would be that the project would go back to normal, but with the best conditions possible. This can be achieved following the right dynamics and the right setting for every person contributing to the project and this cannot be done within three weeks. This entire process continues.

Having given a little bit of context behind many aspects regarding the project, I ask of everyone that would like to stay, their utmost patient. I don’t want to make any promises and I don’t want to sugarcoat it. I want to make concrete actions. And that’s what I’ve been doing, whether you can see it or not, that’s what I’ve been doing step by step.

Guys, the changes that I’m doing are in the project’s best interest and I’ll say this openly: These changes are in the project’s best interest and for the people who love it, people who have been impacted by it, people who follow and love what this project means. These people are my motivation and the inspiration for which I started the project, for which I’m still doing the project and for which I’ll keep doing the QSMP. I am not doing this, and I want to make it very clear, I am not doing this for the people who, for a very long time, want to see the project torn down through efforts that show the complete opposite of having love for the project. Be it non-constructive comments, malicious actions, ill intentions wishes upon me, the team, and any community that consumes the QSMP, and the project in general. To me, that all of these ill-intentioned people stop consuming the project does not bother me in the slightest. I want that very, very clear.

Guys, let’s not forget about something very important: it is very difficult to build something but it very easy to destroy it. To everyone who would like to join us in this building process, you’re welcome. For those who seek to destroy it maliciously… this project, since the beginning, wasn’t and it is not made for you.

Lastly, I’d like to say that these past days I’ve been getting many calls, emails and messages from people all around the world expressing what QSMP means for them. This is why, and I’m saying it as it is, this project is not over and I’ll do everything necessary to strengthen it day by day. It is a process. Step by step, and it will take time. But I’m taking care of it.

I want to thank everyone for putting their trust in me beforehand, and I reiterate my personal commitment to strengthen this project. I hope this clarified some doubts and gave context that to many people it was necessary. I reiterate, I have a personal conviction with this project and I’ll keep working to improve it.

Is it paranoid if . . ?

   An older friend of mine, whose children are grown with children of their own, visited me today. While we were having a Really Nice walk through the valley and admiring the spring flowers, I ended up telling her about several school stories dating back to when my son was in high school.

   It all started with me checking his grades online on the school’s website quite near the end of the year. He had a B in biology, which I was happy with. So imagine my distress when the marking period ended and he got a D. When I looked at the website, there were several assignments from a month or more previous that were listed as ‘missing.’ Those zeros dropped his grade substantially. However - I KNEW there had been no ‘missing’ assignments when I checked the week before. I was furious that I had no way to PROVE that something fishy was going on . . and decided to start taking screenshots of grades for both kids for all classes going forward.

   That ended up coming in handy twice for my daughter. In one case, when I saw her grade drop (again from a B to a D) right at the end of the marking period, I emailed the teacher right away. I let her know I had a screenshot of all the assignments and grades as of a certain recent date. She wrote me back to say that a poor grade on a quiz had caused the drop (uh, no), too bad. Then she immediately fixed whatever ‘error’ had caused the problem, and the grade went back up. If I hadn’t had the screenshot - I certainly wouldn’t have been able to resolve the problem.

   For my son in college, he literally took a photo of himself putting an assignment into a teacher’s inbox (with their room number in the picture) at one point. When the teacher said he had not turned it in, he provided the photo and - miraculously - the teacher found the missing assignment. ah ha-ha! no worries!

   Later, when he transferred from community college to regular uni, we drove to campus and handed the admissions staff his transcript in person instead of mailing or emailing it. A few days later, when they said they didn’t have it - I reminded them that we had literally put it in their hands. Miraculously - they found it! Right away! What the actual . .

   So I’ve spent years saving receipts, taking screenshots, meticulously documenting stuff, and teaching the kids to do the same. It is unreal - and unreasonable - how often that has been necessary. And my friend, who also had two kids go through school, said she’d NEVER had anything like that happen. She was just boggled. I have to wonder. Am I under a curse? Does bad luck attend my family unusually closely? why meEEeeee?!

   I just took about 8 screenshots of (the very long list of) Son’s ecology grades. I hope I don’t need them - but if I do . . .

here's a quick guide on how i proofread and edit my essays as an humanities undergrad! i tend to spend more time on research and editing and much less time on writing and my first drafts are often horrendous, so editing is really important for me :^)

i've also created guides on essay preparation, the 5-paragraph essay, how to research, and how to write essays. you can find all my other masterposts here.

transcript below:

how to proofread essays by apricitystudies

(section one: before beginning) ideally, you should finish writing your essay a few days before the due date so you can step away from it for a while. this helps you to 'forget' what you wrote and allows you to proofread with fresh eyes. after staring at the same piece of writing for so long, your brain tends to fill in the gaps itself as you read, leading you to miss mistakes.

(section two: the key to effective proofreading is to edit in rounds) each round, focus on and attempt to fix a different issue. this requires you to have a little bit more time to edit, which is why you should finish writing early.

(round one: content) argument: does your argument make sense? is it strong? is it logical? evidence: is your research robust? are your points all backed up with sufficient evidence? is every piece of evidence necessary and relevant to your argument? elaboration: is your argument well developed? is every piece of evidence explained, analysed, or critiqued? is the research you provide linked back to and used to support your argument?

(round two: flow) map: have you provided a clear and concise roadmap of your essay? linking: are your paragraphs linked? do the last sentences of each paragraph flow into the next? have you shown how your points are connected? coherence: is your argument logical? is the order of your points easy to follow? is the reader able to see the progression of your argument? TIP: put all the topic sentences of your body paragraphs into one single paragraph. do they make sense together?

(round three: language) vocabulary: have you repeated words/phrases excessively? is your paraphrasing accurate? sentence length: are your sentences overly long? can they be split up? cohesion: does your writing flow? does it sound stilted or clunky? is everything you've written clear? punctuation: are your quotation marks correct? have you used em dashes, colons, and semicolons accurately? small errors: are your spelling and grammar correct?

(round four: format) referencing: are your in-text citations/footnotes correct? is every piece of evidence referenced? style: have you used the correct font size/style? is your line spacing correct? are your paragraphs justified/indented if they're supposed to be? page setup: are your margins set up properly? are your headers/footers/ page numbers correct, if required? bibliography: are your bibliography entries correct? are they in alphabetical order? is the line spacing and indentation correct?

(section three: other tips) 1: change your font to something like comic sans. this makes your brain work harder to read and stops it from skipping words/phrases. 2: print out your essay and go over it with a red pen. mark as if you were a teacher and pick out as many mistakes as you can. 3. read it aloud or use a text-to-speech function. listening to your writing helps you to identify awkward writing and repeated words.

(ending slide: thanks for reading!) this is just my method of proofreading and it might not work for everyone. that being said, i hope it was still helpful! from @apricitystudies

Practical advice if you want to start a podcast

I wrote a post for the RED team at La Trobe with some general advice for podcasting, but I’ve found there are some recurring questions that I get about setting up a podcast. This post is here to answer those questions.

If you’re not interested in starting a podcast, but want to listen to more linguistics podcasts, I’ve got a list for you!

I last updated this post in June 2021 - if you find this post a few years after this you might want to search for some more up to date specs. I’ll continue to update this from time to time as new questions (or answers) come up.

Picture your audience

Before you make any decisions about your show, know who it is for. Your topic might be incredibly niche and have an audience in the hundreds, which is very different to a potentially larger but less engaged audience. See the classic blog post from Kevin Kelly on the power of 1000 true fans. Knowing your potential audience, where they hang out online, and how they’re likely to support you, will help your decision making. I have a self-guided slide set for refining your project before you start working on it. It’s also ok to know who you don’t want as your audience, and make choices that don’t actively include them. Do this early and clearly so people aren’t disappointed. For example, having a show with clearly noted explicit language selects away from young kids and their parents.

The length and format of your show are a product of your aims

I personally like shows in the 25-35 minute range. But, having said that, I love Shortwave, which regularly clocks in at 10 minutes, and I’m disappointed when an episode of You’re Wrong About is less than an hour.

Know your audience and the level of depth you want to explore a topic in. The frequency of episodes and the amount of time you have to prepare and edit will also affect how long episode end up. Record a few episodes first and share them with people you trust will give you good feedback.

The best interviews are conversations

Good interviews are just conversations that are intentionally lopsided, and good interviewers make the conversation feel like it’s not lopsided. Do your homework, write out some questions, and then take a step back and actually listen to the person you’re interviewing.

Anyone who has done even a few interviews has already faced most of the questions you first think of. There are some fixes for this: push through your initial brainstorming, think about the specific angles on their topic that are most relevant to your audience and (again) listen to what the person is telling you. Like many podcasting skills, good interviewing takes practice, and you can practice by staying curious about humans you interact with in any area of your life, not just your podcast guests.

Use the best mics you can, but don’t over-invest

You don’t have go and buy the fanciest tech. If you have access to a studio, great! If you don’t, then decide what your budget is. When we started Lingthusiasm, Gretchen recorded into her phone, because we were running the show on no budget and had no idea if we’d stick it out more than 6 months. When we started making money we got Gretchen a Zoom H4n to match mine. It’s still not the fanciest, but it’s rugged and adequate, especially if you make sure you’re in a closet with some blankets. Do I regret the earlier episodes of Lingthusiasm don’t sound amazing? Not as much as I would have regretted investing hundreds of dollars in a podcast that had 4 episodes.

Edit your show

Even a light edit will make the show easier for your audience to listen to, and show respect for the people you interview. I know people believe there’s an aesthetic of authenticity that comes with not editing, but all podcasting is a performance. Editing is a politeness to your audience.

Editing means a very wide range of things. You can do full production editing, including the addition of music, multiple different voice-overs and voices reading parts (e.g. getting someone else to read author quotes to bring them to life) and additional sound effects. Or you might just edit out the start and end of the recording, and any false starts and errors throughout the show. A lot of the pauses and fillers we use in conversation are designed for an audience who is in on the conversation and can reply, and can feel like they’re holding up a conversation when you’re a passive listener like a podcast audience. Many of the best conversational podcasts are given an edit to make them easier on the ears.

I use audacity to edit

Audacity is free to use. It takes a little longer to learn than something like GarageBand, but once you know how to use it, you’ll be much faster at editing. I appreciate that it has stayed pretty much the same since I started using it almost 15 years ago.

Get your levels right

Once you’ve edited your show, making sure there aren’t too many loud laughs, or your two hosts aren’t unbalanced in loudness. You’ll also need to make sure your podcast isn’t too loud or soft compared to others in people’s list. You need to regularise it. A lot of podcasts regularise to -16 LUFS. A few other numbers bounce around (-14, -18), but this is what we use and no one complains.  Audacity can’t do it. You can process a certain number of hours of audio for free each month using the web-based Auphonic. It’s great. 

There’s lots of great free music to use

You want to look for music that has a license that’s free to use. Even if you don’t plan to make money from your podcast, make sure the license includes commercial use so you don’t limit your future options. SoundCloud and YouTube have lots of options, as does Kevin MacLeod - who has created royalty-free music in a massive range of genres. 

Web hosting is different to getting your show on iTunes

We use SoundCloud to upload and share our audio. It’s fine. I have no complaints. Once you’ve uploaded a few hours of audio you’ll have to pay annually for a pro account. Anchor seems to be a good new competitor, it’s free - I assume they make money off people choosing to run ads on their podcasts. You then generate an RSS feed, which is the thing that points all the podcast players to the place you’ve uploaded your recording. You’ll then have to add your show to major podcast platforms (Apple Podcast, Google Podcast), smaller ones will pick it up from there.

It takes a few days for your show to get picked up on all the podfeeders

Launching a podcast is a bit of a mess - it will go live on your hosting site but then you’ll have to set yourself up with iTunes, Google Podcast etc. and that can take a few days to update and populate. The sites that are popular, and the process of linking into those spaces, changes often enough that you should just google advice when you’re ready to launch, and give yourself a few days. This is part of why some podcasts launch a short ‘episode 0′ or a trailer, it gets the show set up.

Transcripts should be one of the first things you fund

Not every podcast has the time or funds to make transcripts. I do think they’re important though; for people who can’t or don’t want to listen, for discoverability and for your own record when you can’t remember when you talked about a specific story. If you have any time or money and want to be taken seriously at all, this should be one of your earliest priorities. This is even more true for educational podcasts, where a transcript ensures all students can appreciate the content of your show.

You don’t neeeeed a website, but it’s handy

You can run a show using a hosting platform and some social media. Having a website does allow you to add more information about the show and yourself. The Lingthusiasm page has grown over the years as the show has; we made a page for our liveshow events, we provide a list of episodes by topic, information about our Discord community, and our marvelous wall of supporters. The website was much more minimal when we started, but compared to just having a SoundCloud it gave the show room to grow.

You probably want socials, but be selective

You need to make your podcast discoverable by people who are likely to be your audience. Social media is one way to do this, but it’s better to be actually engaging on fewer social platforms than overextend yourself. Focus on platforms that are the intersection of where your possible fans are likely to be and where you enjoy being.

Funding a podcast takes time, and takes work

There are three main revenue streams for podcasts: advertising, crowdfunding and merch. A fourth option is institutional support (through your university or business), but then you’re beholden to the funder. Whichever revenue options work for you, think about them and plan towards them early. Part of that is making sure your podcast gets in as many ears as possible. Most successful podcasts spend as much, if not more, time on marketing, audience engagement and business planning as they do podcasting (it’s just not very glamorous to admit that!).

Choose whether each episode can stand alone

Some podcasts build a narrative over multiple episodes. Others allow listeners to jump in at any point and listen in any order. Whatever you choose, make this clear to your audience. This choice is going to influence a range of choices around what information to include in the opening and closing, how topical to make the show, and how you promote your podcast. 

Seasons are a great structure to keep a podcast manageable

Regardless of whether your show runs in a sequence, planning a season with a fixed number of episodes allows you to take some time off, to maybe change some things that weren’t working, or to step away from the project with a podcast that hasn’t been left hanging.

notes to myself basically, on how i study languages (so far, there’s always gonna be better ways i don’t know of yet lol):

learn 500-1000 common words asap, read a grammar guide that provides overview asap - like the first 3 months. If a full grammar guide doesn’t exist that’s concise (hi japanese ;-;) find a basics grammar guide at least and read that (pimsleur, websites, genki, tae kim, youtube). Specifically within the common words, at least look at the ‘300 common word tumblr to say things’ language vocab list. That list is good for me starting some kind of active vocab/expressing ideas.

if its got a different writing system, look up the alphabet in 1st month (kana for japanese, cyrillic alphabet for russian etc, pinyin for chinese). listen to pronunciation guides, and write and/or mnemonics to learn those asap.

if its got characters (like chinese, japanese), learn 300-500 super common characters ASAP (first 5 months). 

After month 3, learn up to 2000 common words (hi srs flashcard programs like anki and memrise, common word lists, graded readers), and up to 2000 characters. Not all these need to be done with srs flashcards/focused study, but get TO recognizing this many as soon as u can. Goal is get to this by month 8-10. But depending on how much i can overall understand without doing this, i may not learn All of these words by then (but ideally i should).

By 500-1000 words (and 500+ characters if needed), so after 3-5 months, start trying to immerse in what I WANT to do - so reading, watching (maybe listening, maybe games). I don’t have to do it much, but do it a bit to remember what I learned and also motivate myself to study more.

Months 5-8 somewhere between 1000-2000 words, start trying to write/say basic things to myself or on apps with others. Probably will be a mess, don’t have to do it much. Do it enough to have motivation to study more - see where I’m lacking skills. I may need more grammar explanation, or more vocab, or notice a big issue in my pronunciation etc.

Around month 8-10, around 2000+ words studied (although it may be less or more depending on what I’m comfortable with), ramp up immersion a lot. As soon as its mildly tolerable, ramp it up a LOT. Look up words when immersing as often or not often as desired, goal is to always follow at least the bare minimum main idea (and more details if possible/if I wanna put in the effort to look more up). Now I can start learning new words primarily from this. 

Reading skills - during immersion do intensive reading to learn more vocabulary quicker, extensive reading to improve overall comprehension. Do SRS flashcards/focused graded readers/word-list prep for stuff I read as needed, to speed up how much vocab I learn (if I’m learning too slow for my preference lol). Ways to make extensive reading easier: read graded readers, read show subtitles in target language while watching show, textbooks built to increase info taught in context, read stuff I’ve read translations of first, read stuff I have prior context for (I saw the show/heard already with english transcript etc), Listening reading method, read extensively what I’ve read intensively before etc.

Listening skills - start extensive listening to audio (for overall comprehension improvement). Start intensive listening where I hear words and lookup definition and/or learn word pronunciation with explanations. So start listening to audio flashcards for building a base of learned words/phrases (chinese spoonfed audio files, japanese core 2k audio, japaneseaudiolessons.com, SRS flashcards if they have audio only ones too, Coffee Break French, audio for Francais par le methode nature etc). To make extensive listening easier: start with watching/listening to shows I’ve already seen subs for, shows in general (visual context helps), comprehensible input audio (like comprehensible input french youtube, Learn Korean in Korean youtube, Dreaming Spanish youtube etc), listen with a transcript then listen without, Listening reading method, listen to things I have prior context for like audiobook of something i read/audio drama of show i’ve seen. Do some shadowing (shadowing audio flashcard files is easy and reliable tbh). 

Production skills (I am not here yet) - in general I’ve found making myself write more, talk more, to myself (like journals and practice convos) and to others, tends to improve my active vocabulary. Especially when I try to communicate about topics i’m bad at (so making myself look up those words and write/say them to put them back into active vocab). At this point I’m guessing more explicit grammar drill practice might help, people correcting me, shadowing a lot. Maybe practicing translating to that language/from it, to practice building active vocab? I’m not sure what will help most here tbh as I’ve never gotten far in this area. (For chinese, studying pronunciation more in depth and doing more listening/shadowing, and pronunciation apps, helped a lot with pronunciation itself but not active production yet). 

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i’m currently mostly just doing 8-9 for chinese right now - building reading skills, building listening skills. Varying what i do. For production skills i’m guessing there’s a ton of varied things i can do right now or later, i’m just not entirely sure what they’d be. i have not tried/troubleshooted those skills much before when studying. All i know for sure is the more i make myself use the language in Varied topics, the more i get an active vocabulary (aka writing journals, making self-convos, and doing language exchanges help in a basic way). No idea how to improve grammar though in ways that’d work well for me. so right now my skills lean heavier toward comprehension, less skill in any production. Studying chinese taught me a lot about how i learn listening skills though...which is valuable as i barely had practice learning HOW to study them when i studied french or japanese before.

troubleshooting wise - this is the rough trajectory i went through in chinese, that has worked okay for me. looking at it helps me see where i ‘slowed down’ my progress in other languages i studied.

for french - i did very LITTLE listening practice, and had few ideas of how to work on it at the time. Now I would probably do listen with transcript then without, and shadowing, to work on listening skills. And watching shows/videos with subtitles (if possible), then without subs. And very little speaking practice - same deal as listening, i did a little at some point realizing it was a weak area but not enough work on it. I also did very LITTLE production practice like language exchanges. i had few reasons to produce language, and so the few times i needed to i could mostly rely on super common words or look things up when writing. i know i’d need to do more to work on production. so i was very unbalanced - large reading comprehension, low pretty much every other skill.

for japanese... i did a lot in retrospect i wish i’d redone different. and i do it different now. i did not read/watch a grammar guide - and i still freaking need to (or at least get clear grammar exposure like nukemarine’s LLJ course’s tae kim portions). japanese has grammar i find very hard to figure-out through exposure so this holds me back a lot. and lack of immersion to both motivate me to study MORE and to practice reading/listening skills. ALSO lack of common words - i learned like 800 hanzi rough-meaning through RTK, and maybe 500 words in genki... and no wonder it wasn’t enough lol! i think nukemarine helped back years ago, because it forced me to study grammar and vocab, listening and reading, in a structured way (similar to how genki helped me in the very start before i quit using it). and japaneseaudiolessons.com helped because it made me practice listening and gave me comprehensible listening with definitions. that in combo with me really starting to immerse and TRY to read/listen at year 2+ is when i finally made some progress because i was doing things that work for me - finally. and now that i’m coming back to japanese, i’m starting to apply all those things again that were finally working. 

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anyone have any tips on how to improve production skills? Both active vocabulary, and how to both practice speaking/writing broadly AND how to fix grammar errors. 

For active vocab and general writing/speaking I know just talking more/writing more helps. But I can only tend to catch grammar errors if I run it through a translator first to compare how the translator phrases it to how I did (which can create a LOT of errors if the translator is Wrong), or if someone corrects my grammar error (which relies on other people - and preferably a tutor since i dont want to bother people who aren’t paid to correct - so what can i do on my OWN?). 

The big thing is with grammar, I can only think to either go through beginner courses Again from the start and do the writing drills and copy the patterns to internalize them? So I could correct my basic writing/speaking but not necessarily when I start speaking/writing creatively, unless I find textbooks/workbooks that eventually go into intermediate material (and of course finding textbooks/online exercises that provide correct answers so i can compare my attempts to the correct ones). Aside from either a tutor, or trying to find well made free online courses with exercises with answers provided, i’m not sure how to improve grammar production. If I write out sentences i read, would that internalize being able to ‘copy their grammar correctly’ when i write? if i shadow correctly said speeches/videos, would that help drill ‘correct grammar’ when speaking? (And be less boring then doing FSI speech drills). Basically I’m trying to find some ways (creative or not) to improve grammar in production. Improving active vocabulary seems pretty straightforward to me (make myself use it, look up words until they come natural to me - but if u got any other fun ways to improve active vocab i’d love to hear!). But I don’t know how to improve grammar when you are NOT in a class structure, have no teacher/tutor, and already have a base level of comprehension. As in like? I can read fine, but when writing I can’t tell if what I produce is grammatically correct or not - and again I can run it through a translator sometimes to try and ‘check’ but since translators make errors, my ‘corrected example’ isn’t always reliable to use as something to emulate for ‘correct form.’

The Foreboding Disaster: transcript

(Transcribed directly from the game, errors included.)

An eerie cold has descended upon a remote village, hidden deep in the forest, turning the once vibrant forest into a frigid tundra. Two bounty hunters have been commissioned to investigate the situation, yet after stepping into the forest, they discovered that things are not as simple as they’d originally thought. An abandoned village, mysterious enemies, a broken magical array, scattered feathers, all lay under the cover of snow, waiting for the truth to be uncovered.

Transcript under cut.

Raine: Fawkes, how much farther? The commission says the forest here suddenly froze over. I’d say there’s probably a restless Ice Elemental running amok.

Why’d I have to take such a boring bounty? Hunting the forces of darkness, now that’s our bread and butter!

Fawkes: C’mon, you know those kinds of jobs aren’t always available. Don’t forget a bounty hunter has to put food on the table too.

Good, we’ve arrived.

Raine: Damnit! Is that the ice they mentioned? The whole darned forest is frozen over!

Fawkes: I’ve got a hunch that this job is going to be far trickier than I’d anticipated. Raine, stay frosty!

There’s a person up ahead. Let’s gather some intel first.

Log: The whole forest is covered in a thick sheet of ice. Find more intel from residents.

-

Tattered Tent: A make-shift tent, a temporary home to an old man.

Feeble Old Man: *Startled* Who goes there?

Fawkes: We’re travelers passing through the region. What’s happened to this place?

Feeble Old Man: Since the ice appeared, the able-bodied townsfolk all left.

Raine: Why’d you stay?

Feeble Old Man: *Laughs half-heartedly* I’m old, I can’t get about easily as I once did, and I don’t want to leave this place.

This is my home, I grew up here, I know of nowhere else. Where would I go? I just want to stay a little longer until it completely disappears…

Turn back, travelers. There are many dangers within these woods. If you value your lives, turn back.

(The old man turns away and heads into his tent and closes the door.)

Raine: Could it be nefarious forces at work? They’ll soon get a taste of my hot lead.

Fawkes: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Raine. I have a feeling he was hiding something…

Let’s see what lies ahead. A bounty hunter never leaves empty-handed.

Log: The old man told us of dangers within the forest. Venture deeper into the forest to investigate further.

-

(After an attempt to reach the Tattered Tent is obstructed by a Chief Enemy camp.)

Mystery Player: Outlanders, you tread on land where you do not belong. Once you enter this forest, you’ll never leave again.

Raine: An enemy!

Fawkes: Well, here we go again.

(After losing to the Chief Enemies.)

Fawkes: This foe is too strong. Let’s make a tactical retreat.

Raine: There’s some kind of peculiar power protecting them. My bullets have no effect.

This force… it seems to be consistent with the ominous force that hangs over this forest.

Fawkes: Perhaps the answer to the frozen forest lies with the peculiar force these foes seem to possess.

Raine: They ventured deep into the heart of the forest. Let’s track ‘em!

Fawkes: All in good time. Before we head back, let’s go back to that tent.

Raine: You’re right. That old man definitely knows something…

Fawkes: Onwards!

Log: The mysterious foe is most definitely linked to the calamity which has befallen the forest. See if the old man can give you any more clues.

-

(When interacting with the Tattered Tent again.)

Feeble Old Man: You’re still here?

Fawkes: You never told us there were monsters lurking here.

Feeble Old Man: You stumbled across those monsters, and you escaped with your lives? Perhaps you’ll be able to fix the Magic Circle…

Raine: Magic Circle?

Feeble Old Man: This is not the first time the forest has been frozen over, but it was never as severe as it is now. A god passed through this way and placed some of their feathers within the Magic Circle, removing this frozen curse.

A few months ago, a vile group of twisted monsters appeared. They laid waste to the Magic Circle and scattered the god’s feathers to the wind. It was from that day onward that the forest gradually began to freeze over.

Brave travelers, please help me fix the Magic Circle! Only by finding the six scattered feathers can we restore balance to the forest.

Raine: If the forest is returned to normal, will the townsfolk return?

Feeble Old Man: If there’s hope, they’ll return. After all, home is where the heart is.

And please, before you head out, use the hot spring nearby to warm yourselves up.

Log: Feathers were placed within a Magic Circle to keep the cold at bay. But the Magic Circle was destroyed by an enemey, and its feathers have been scattered to the wind. Find the feathers on the edge of the forest and repair the Magic Circle.

(Using the Fountain of Vitality will resurrect all the heroes defeated in the battle against the Chief Enemies.)

(After interacting with the Tattered Tent once more.)

The old man must have gone out, his tent is empty.

-

Magic Circle Base: A Magic Base that protects the inner portal. It can be activated with Phoenix Feathers.

Scattered Phoenix Feather: A red feather, that gives off a warm glow. It has seemingly melted into the surrounding snow. Activating it will cause it to magically float towards the Magic Circle.

-

Permafrost: Solid ice. Only the purest Solaris Flare is able to melt it.

Eerie Dark Mist: An ominous mist that can be dispelled by Phoenix Feathers.

-

Historian’s Notes - Page 1: A scattered page from a notebook. It contains historical notes written by a historian.

(After picking up the Historian’s Notes.)

Abandoned Cabin: An empty building, there’s nothing worth searching for here.

Historian’s Notes - Page 1 (in bag): I discovered a remote village on my travels. It’s covered in ice and snow, and only a few families still live here. As for the others… they’re nowhere to be found.

The people who stayed here all fell into a coma with high fevers and were marked with strange scars. I tried to cure them with the herbal medicine I had with me, but there was no sign of improvement.

I remember reading about this disease in an ancient medical book, but I am old, and my memory fails me.

-

Historian’s Notes - Page 2: A scattered page from a notebook. It contains historical notes written by a historian.

Historian’s Notes - Page 2 (in bag): Twisted creatures that prowled the woods, as well as the snow, ice, eerie black mist kept me from further investigation.

«Corruptors» I think that’s what the book called those monsters. But the records are vague, and only mention large-scale elemental imbalances. A resident suffering from a high fever had scars that continued to spread all over his body. Then… He turned into one of those twisted creatures that I had witnessed in the woods right before my very own eyes.

I finally know where all those missing residents went.

-

Historian’s Notes - Page 3: A scattered page from a notebook. It contains historical notes written by a historian.

Historian’s Notes - Page 3 (in bag): There’s nobody alive in the village, they’ve all turned into those twisted creatures. I think it’s time I departed this place and returned to the Dark Forest.

I must return to find that ancient book, perhaps I can find some clues within it. I have a something like this will happen again.

Snow and ice cover may cover up tracks, but not history. I hid my notes in the corner of my house, hoping sooner or later someone would find out what was going on here.

-

Abandoned Cabin: The door is wide open, yet nobody is home. Or perhaps they never left and will remain here forever?

Abandoned Cabin: The walls are covered in claw marks, as if a monster had broken out of the place.

Abandoned Cabin: The door is broken. It’s as cold inside as it is outside. Brrr.

Abandoned Cabin: Medicines and medical gowns have been strewn all over the place. Any patients that resided here could not have survived very long.

Abandoned Cabin: A place was once full of cheer and laughter, it now sits empty, listening to the howling of the wind.

Abandoned Cabin: A packed bag that was torn to pieces. Luggage has been scattered all over the floor. There was an attempt to leave this place, but it appears whoever tried to leave didn’t make it.

-

Locked Door: A key is needed to open this.

(After attempting to open it without having acquired the Key.)

A key is needed to open this door.

Key: It obviously opens a door somewhere. But where?

Large Door’s Key (in bag): Seems it’ll be able to open a large door somewhere.

-

(After activating all the Scattered Phoenix Feathers.)

Raine: Fawkes, the forest… it’s the same as before.

Fawkes: Seems just using the Magic Circle isn’t enough. The changes are already too drastic.

???: After realigning the Magic Circle, I feel another elemental imbalance. Could it be so?

Fawkes: Yes. The forest has frozen over yet again. Was it you who was responsible for the Magic Circle’s creation?

???: Yes. Come through the portal and meet me.

Fawkes: Yes, let’s talk face to face.

Log: Enter the portal and seek out the deity who created the Magic Circle.

-

Concealed Dwelling: Talene’s temporary abode.

(When choosing the Attack option the Concealed Dwelling will turn into a camp with five Awakened Talenes.)

(If you lose the battle against Talene.)

The Resurging Flame - Talene: Have you calmed down yet? Let’s talk about what’s happening to the forest.

(If you win the battle against Talene.)

The Resurging Flame - Talene: You are indeed strong. Let’s talk about what’s happening to the forest.

(After choosing the Talk option, regardless if you’ve attacked before.)

The Resurging Flame - Talene: Just as you said, the Magic Circle is no longer able to keep the cold at bay. The elemental imbalance is even greater than ever.

Raine: Elemental imbalance?

The Resurging Flame - Talene: Correct, elements that are not evenly distributed in a region cause the all elements to lose their equilibrium. The water elements in that forest are extremely active, causing it to completely freeze over. The Magic Circle I created was supposed to keep the cold at bay.

Over the last few years, elemental imbalances have become more frequent throughout the world. Perhaps something big is happening. I’m currently looking for more clues as to its cause.

Fawkes: I can’t speak about other regions, but I suspect  the imbalance here may be a result of someone’s meddling.

(Fawkes explains to Talene about the incident that occured with the Mysterious Man.)

The Resurging Flame - Talene: I see. I shall accompany you.

Log: Talene is investigating the elemental imbalance. She decided to join us to defeat the Mysterious Man and bring the frozen forest back to life.

Talene - The Resurging Flame has joined us. Her glowing warmth rejuvenated our bodies and reinvigorated our minds.

-

(If you step on the scorched marks to the west of the Concealed Dwelling before Talene has joined your team.)

Raine: It seems a fierce battle occured here.

Fawkes: Yes, it’s as if the earth has been scorched by two different types of flame.

(If you step on the scorched marks to the west of the Concealed Dwelling after Talene has joined your team.)

Raine: These marks…

The Resurging Flame - Talene: I once fought with a demon here.

-

(After defeating the Chief Enemies.)

Fawkes: The forest has been returned to normal. It would appear that the Mysterious Man was responsible for the ice. I expect the townsfolk will soon return.

Raine: It would seem our work is done. Talene, we’re heading back to the empire to claim our reward. Would you come with us and share a drink or two? And while you’re there, perhaps you could show our fiery friend what a real fire looks like? Heheh.

The Resurging Flame - Talene: This is where we part ways. There are greater matters I must attend to.

The anomaly causing the elemental imbalances is growing ever worse. I must act fast.

Raine: Farewell. Let’s get outta here, Fawkes. It’s time to go claim our bounty!

-

(After defeating the Chief Enemies all enemies left will be removed, the door will open if you did not do so before, and all the Abandoned Cabins will gain the same description.)

Abandoned Cabin: Perhaps whoever lived here will choose to never return?

(When interacting with the Tattered Tent after defeating the Chief Enemies.)

Mysterious Player: It’s been a long time, Solaris Flare.

The elemental imbalance grows ever stronger, Talene. When the final day comes, what choice will you make?

38. One Last Time

Original Song: One Last Time (Obviously)

Megumi has lost and his time is up. But in his final moments, he chooses to go out with respect and grace.

There’s a song coming up that references this song (you know the one) which I had written up long before this. I honestly just figured I might as well turn that reference into a whole song since it does kinda fit well and I had to give my guy Megumi a good send-off. It was still a hard one to adapt and I wanted to get it right because I know this song’s quite beloved. Going back to this song, it always reminds me how much I appreciate this villain.

I think the sprite placement and sizes here are a bit weird, but I like the gathering of Shibuya citizens, which I enjoyed writing in. The tin pin boys are a nightmare to fit into the crowd, though it amuses me that Yammer looks a little like he’s trying to fix the Boss’ tie.

I love the respectful send-off between Joshua and Megumi here, even though Joshua kinda sets the terms and he’s like “Yeah, it’s a real shame I have to put you down. I definitely have no other choice.” Making this made me notice how similar Megumi and Joshua’s character designs are, wearing the same kind of shirt the same kind of way and having similar posture. Checks out, what with the fanboy that Megumi is.

First Song: Neku Sakuraba

Previous Song: Your Obedient Conductor

Next Song: The True Composer

Index

Transcript:

[JOSHUA] Well Megumi, did you expect this?

[MEGUMI] I know it's over

[JOSHUA] What will you say now? ...Megs?

[MEGUMI] I want to give You a word of warning

[JOSHUA] Megs, whatever you're about to say Just remember technically, you started it

[MEGUMI] I cannot stop myself from mourning

[JOSHUA] I understand

[MEGUMI] It's hard to bear it

[JOSHUA] You did well to prepare it, I'm proud of your efforts, I swear it

[MEGUMI] I feel blessed

[JOSHUA] I couldn't guess I saw the red pins bleeding through; I liked what they were leading to

[MEGUMI] I would like to make an address

[JOSHUA] Yes, you're resigned. You can feel free, speak your mind.

[MEGUMI] So, will You continue to destroy Shibuya?

[JOSHUA] Well. My pick did defeat you, Megs.

[MEGUMI] Everything I did, I did it for Shibuya

[JOSHUA] You gave it a shot.

[MEGUMI] One last time Relax, have a drink with me One last time Let’s celebrate tonight Before we teach them how to say goodbye To say goodbye You and I

[JOSHUA] What a guy

[MEGUMI] I thank You for the opportunity

[JOSHUA] Indeed, it was one of the more enjoyable games and a good time.

[MEGUMI] Your choice did some incredible fighting

[JOSHUA] Ha!

[MEGUMI] Seriously, it’s inspiring I have no regrets from what I’ve learned The hard-won wisdom I have earned

[JOSHUA] As far as the Reapers are concerned You sure have served, and you did such good work.

[MEGUMI] So, one last time The Players will hear from me One last time And on my final night We’re gonna teach ‘em how to say goodbye You and I—

[JOSHUA] Well Megs, I had a fun few weeks

[MEGUMI] Yes, Your proxy was strong

[JOSHUA] This plan of yours was so unique

[MEGUMI] I got everyone to play along

[JOSHUA] A shame you have to say goodbye

[MEGUMI] Though I say goodbye, I hope the city may yet live on And outlive me when I’m gone

Like the mission says: "If Shibuya is freed of its misguided people The city need not be destroyed" They’ll be safe in a future enjoyed I never saw the worth in misguided people But Neku, you understand Now the rest, I leave in your hands One last time

[JOSHUA] One last time

[MEGUMI] Though, in reviewing the incidents of my administration, I am unconscious of intentional error, I am nevertheless too sensible of my defects not to think it probable that I may have committed many errors. I shall also carry with me

[MEGUMI (SHIBUYA CITIZENS)] The hope (The hope) That the Composer will View them with indulgence; (View them with indulgence) And that After countless years of my life dedicated to its service with an upright zeal (After countless years of my life dedicated to its service with an upright zeal) The faults of my beloved chaotic city will be Consigned to oblivion, as I myself must soon be to the mansions of rest (Consigned to oblivion, as I myself must soon be to the mansions of rest) To right the countless wrongs of our day, I shined a light of true redemption (To right the countless wrongs of our day, I shined a light of true redemption) That this place may become as a paradise, safe from harm and destruction (That this place may become as a paradise, safe from harm and destruction) In the midst of my fellow-citizens, the benign influence of good goals (In the midst of my fellow-citizens, the benign influence of good goals) Under a single movement, the ever-determined object of my task, should give a happy future, as I dreamed, (Under a single movement, the ever-determined object of my task, should give a happy future, as I dreamed) I say what a wonderful world such would be (I say what a wonderful world such would be)

[MEGUMI] One last time

[ALL WOMEN] The Conductor loves his home!

[JOSHUA] Teach ‘em how to say goodbye

[COMPANY] The Conductor loves his home

[MEGUMI] You and I

[COMPANY] The Conductor loves his home

[MEGUMI] For my home

[COMPANY] The Conductor loves his home

[MEGUMI] History has its eyes on you

[COMPANY] The Conductor loves his home

[MEGUMI (COMPANY)] We’re gonna teach ‘em how to Say goodbye! (Teach ‘em how to say goodbye!) Teach ‘em how to (Teach ‘em how!) Say goodbye! (Say goodbye!) To say goodbye! (Say goodbye!) Say goodbye! One last time! (One last time!)

How (I think) I got into Oxford

I am starting at Oxford in September, and I have had some time in the last few months to reflect on why my application was successful. For context, I applied as an international postgraduate student. And while the undergraduate application process is somewhat different, I still believe some of my thoughts are transportable to other contexts - mostly because they are ‘rules of business’. 

Think about mutual benefits

Most universities operate like businesses, and business is about the exchange of value. It is always a smart thing to think about mutually beneficial relationships, where it’s a win-win for everyone involved. Before I started writing my application, I thought about two fundamental questions: How can I be of value to the university, and how can the university be of value to me? Essentially - what am I giving to this relationship, and what am I getting out of it? Nobody wants to be in a relationship (not even universities) where they are all-giving or all-taking. 

I believed that a good application not only provides answers to both of these questions, but also links the two answers together. For example, I wrote in my personal statement that I had international professional experience working in my subject matter, which shows that I can bring a pragmatic and worldly perspective to class discussions. In this case, I would be benefitting from a spot in the class (and all the benefits of an Oxford education), and Oxford would be getting a more diverse class (and all the benefits this has for future research output). I also wrote about how I would like to apply for a PhD after the course, which suggests that I would benefit from doing research through the Masters, and that the university would benefit from having a prospective PhD student in the near future.

My advice for prospective applicants is to be mindful of how the entirety of the  university application package (from the personal statement to the transcript) indicates a mutually beneficial relationship. It can only help to stress how you are giving back to those around you, even if it is in an informal way like helping out your peers.

Answer the right question under clear headings

I found writing the personal statement to be the most challenging aspect of the Oxford application. It was like looking at the mirror and confidently saying all the reasons relating to why you should have a place at Oxford. Easy in thought, difficult in action. I had to resist or more often, ride out the emotionally stressful waves where I thought the opposite. 

On the surface, the big question behind the personal statement is ‘why are you good enough?’. I thought about this question a lot and I think it just made my application process more anxiety-stricken. Remember the question from the previous section:  ‘How can you be of value to the university, and how can the university be of value to me?’ This question is more balanced, more business-like, less personal. It helped me think about the application as a proposal for a project, rather than a proposal linked to my self-worth.

Next, I wrote down the three big answers to the question in light of the assessment criteria. The criteria for my course were:

Commitment to graduate studies in evidence-based social intervention and policy evaluation

Reasons for selecting the department

Motivation for and understanding of the proposed area of study

Any relevant practical/applied experience (such previous jobs)

Ability to present a reasoned case in English.

My one-line answers (which became headings) were:

‘My academic experience evidences an aptitude for quantitative and qualitative research’ (which addresses criteria 1, 3, 4)

‘My professional experience demonstrates that I care deeply about interventions affecting children and families’ (which addresses criteria 3, 4)

‘My aspirations align with the aims and features of the course’ (which addresses criteria 1, 2, 3)

Criteria 5 was implicitly addressed through the presentation of a structured argument (i.e. clear headings and clear evidence under each heading).

My advice for prospective students is to start simple. Find the assessment criteria for the personal statement (or ask for one if it isn’t on published material). Think about ‘How can I be of value to the university, and how can the university be of value to me?’. Write down three one-line answers which cover all of the criteria. Then start populating each section with evidence (which you can further prove through your transcript, CV, writing samples).

Label everything and dot every ‘i’

The last point speaks to details, which was the last 20% of effort for me. I spellchecked everything multiple times, checked again and again for clear document scans, and labelled everything I sent through. I imagine that labelling all the application materials helped create the impression that I cared enough about who was reading my application, and what their experience must be like during application season. I believed that a spelling error might have been enough to give another student a spot if the competition was tight. I certainly didn’t want to risk being affected by minor errors I could have fixed. Everyone is subjected to implicit biases, which is why every ‘i’ matters. 

Those are my reflections for the moment, and I hope it helps out anyone who is thinking about applying to Oxford (or any other school for that matter). Happy to help, so feel free to send a message through + follow for more study-related posts.

*** I can read your personal statements / college essays. Just follow the instructions here @read-my-essay.

First, thank you so much for transcribing the whole route! That was amazing and I'll love you forever! Second though, you mention that you fixed a lot of "continuity errors"? What do you mean by that and like, what were they? Just curious.

You are welcome! 

So, I already described it a little… I’m not sure continuity errors was really the right phrase. But I’d be more than happy to kind of flesh out some of my thoughts, just things that kind of jarred me out of the experience at times, on the route that inspired a lot of the tiny changes that I did make. These are just the ones I can think of right off the top of my head:

1. This is the biggest one so I’m going to mention it first. Quite frankly the MC’s persistence on trying to convince Nicky he’s just a character in a movie gets a little annoying. There are quite a few moments where we’re having a pleasant time with Nicky and then suddenly bring up that this whole thing is a dream, it’s not real, he’s just a character, and whatever. Maybe that would be fine, but I know that if I got to spend any amount of time LITERALLY INSIDE an awesome movie with a hot guy who seems set on wooing me I wouldn’t be constantly telling him that he’s not real or that I’m from another dimension. Mostly because I want a more authentic experience, but also because… like… I don’t want all these people looking at me like:

I ESPECIALLY have an issue with this in the scene you have to pay for when we get off the yacht on the docks. He takes us to a nice restaurant so he can bare his soul and the most painful experience of his life and we are BARELY stopped from hopping on a soapbox about how “French Fried Potatoes” are actually called “French Fries” and everyone knows what they are you doof because we’re from the future so there. Luckily he interrupts us to tell us about his sister’s death, but at that point I was like “are we serious right now? Is this really the hill we want to die on when we KNOW that he wants to talk to us about his precious little sister? Oh we better not go into the ‘you’re not real, this is just a movie’ routine again.” 

2. Nicky & Ralph are super panicked about the concept of the cops at the pier but when we pull up to the Speakeasy (arguably a FAR worse place for cops to meet Nicky at), both Nicky and Ralph are like, “Yeah sure, no worries, they ain’t got nothin’.” That seemed a little oddly inconsistent, but maybe that will make more sense later? Not sure how but whatevs’. 

3. I had two issues with the yacht scene. The first one was what I already described, he ends the scene previous by asking us if we’d ever sailed before (which was totally fine, a great way to transition to the new scene) and then he asks us the same question while we’re actually sailing as if we didn’t answer him originally. I just couldn’t picture any scenario in which we wouldn’t have answered that question the first time. The second one was right after the transition to the yacht scene. The background implies that we’re on the yacht, the description of it implies we’re on the yacht, and then a good few minutes into the dialogue we find out that we’re actually walking on the beach toward the yacht and haven’t boarded yet. Not really a huge issue, just a bit jarring after being basically led to believe we were already there.

4. When we’re at Nicky’s mansion: We go all the way around to the front of the house to go back inside after being right next to the french doors on the patio that would have also led us inside. There’s no butler or anything to greet us (didn’t add that in in the version you guys have, and it’s not a big thing, but it is a thing). Somehow we smell bacon cooking in our room, and the smell is strong enough to wake us up, despite the fact that it’s unlikely we’d be able to smell any part of breakfast in a house that big unless it was literally outside our door. Somehow we also know that the petal trail is going to lead to the french doors, but it’s still a “mystery” and we’re still surprised when we follow it to find that it does, in fact, lead to the french doors. He is wealthy enough to have a full staff and a mansion and a yacht but we have to grab our own plate at breakfast even though we could just ask one of his many staff to fix one for us.

Soooo yeah. No shade to the writers- I still love the story & love the writing. But as a writer myself and an editor focused on readability those were just some of the most noticeable things that kind of broke up the experience for me. There are more but, I’d have to look at my transcript again. To be fair, they are FAR more noticeable in long-form. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

POV you are my spotify as i repeat ‘covid-19 type beat’ ‘stay safe’ and ‘no flex’ while writing that part of this bit

sqrt(-1) love you bit, transcription of comic i need to scan. nothing truly saucy happens but you will be able to tell if you need to do the ol’ clickie off

BEEP.

The clock-in device for Rhodes Island emits its usual shrill sound, and Dr. Seth Warren steps into the building at five AM sharp. The base infrastructure smells of machinery, of cleaning solution, and of Seth really, really needing a coffee. After a quick detour with Dr. Kal'tsit ("remember to do your work, etcetera, etcetera"), Seth steps into his office and finds his usual secretary Ptilopsis arranging books. It's a surprise to see her actually awake at such an hour, considering her narcoleptic tendencies. "Hi, Ptilopsis." Seth sets his messenger bag to the side of his desk, and sits down to begin working on whatever recruitment papers or promotion sign-offs he's got to deal with today. "It is a new day. The Doctor is now online." Ptilopsis turns away from her books and towards Seth. "Detecting emotional surge within Ptilopsis." "Who're the roses from?" Seth eyes the very noticeable glass vase of red roses on his desk. Not often he receives such gifts from Operators. And it isn't like Dr. Kalt'sit or Amiya to gift him anything as extravagant as this. "They are from me." Ptilopsis says very matter-of-factly, as if Seth was supposed to suss that out from simply looking at them. "Oh. Well, thank you, then." "...I believe you are misunderstanding the intent of my gift." Ptilopsis walks over to Seth's desk to confront him directly. "Oh, am I, now?" Seth leans back in his chair, crossing his arms indignantly, as if there are often times where he understands anything at all. "Yes. You are. Out of 500,435 queries, I wanted to choose the most adequate vessel to express my feelings for you." "Wait-" "Doctor, may I remind you that roses are a stereotypical symbol of love." The words kinda stab Seth through the chest. His face flushes, but his reply does not indicate such an appearance. "Then you're lying." Ptilopsis tilts her head, confused. "You're lying to make fun of me." "Lying? Surely you are aware I cannot lie to you." "Yes, but-" "I ask you to stop there." And so it is done. "If you will notice the additional note on your desk, you will see that I have compiled a list of the most vital reasons that contribute to why I feel as I do. Please observe." Seth picks up the handwritten note, one created with very flowy handwriting unexpected for Ptilopsis. "Dearest Doctor Seth Warren: Through intense research and data analysis, I have concluded that I, Operator Ptilopsis of Rhine Labs, am in love with you. The flowers on your desk symbolize such feelings. Additionally, please review these ten reasons that I consider the most vital to my attraction towards you." Seth does as he is asked and reviews the ten. His eyes linger on #1: "As you are aware from reading my case file, Originium poisoning has allowed me to see the world in a newer light. As such, I realized recently that there is merit in attempting to observe the world through a less analytical lens. Of course, I cannot truly do as such unless my Oripathy is cured; but after exhaustive study of the object of my desire, and through one query, I have deduced that the serotonin which is delivered to the system nexus when I see you is the most vital reason behind my romantic feelings towards you." Seth sets the note aside and lays his face between his arms resting on the desk. "Ptilopsis..." "Yes?" "Are you sure? With me being- you know-" "I am aware you suffer from occasional bouts of a mental illness identified as depressive disorder. However, this will never affect my ability to, or degree to which I am romantically interested in you. And I truly see no harm in the transition of one's gender, so long as it provides you with some form of happiness or an increase to the mental or physical quality of your life." Seth turns away for a moment- "Or do you not trust my analysis? I may find need to rerun the queries I have calculated." -And turns back, now finding it difficult to look Ptilopsis in the eye. "Rerun them how?" And this isn't a lead-on; he's genuinely curious. "...Please do not reboot the system. Ptilopsis is analyzing your query. ...I have deduced via 40,523 queries that the most adequate way to validate the truth of my data is to participate in the common romantic gesture in which two or more parties press their lips together." Seth sighs, and stands up to face Ptilopsis, just a few feet away from her in front of his desk. "Ptilopsis... tell me you know what a kiss is." "Relax. It was just a joke." The two are silent for the longest two seconds of Seth's entire life. "If you are not comfortable with the gesture, I will not force you to participate." "No, it's just..." Seth's eyes well with tears, and- "...Ptilopsis has discovered that the emotional source behind your tears is that of dopamine. Why do you cry? Is something the matter?" Seth buries himself in Ptilopsis' strangely comforting hug. "I'm alright." "Is this a verifiable truth? I do not want to leave you in such a state." "Yeah." "Then what is the meaning behind your tears?" Seth pulls away from Ptilopsis. "Because, I- Ptilopsis, nobody has ever said they loved me like that before. Not like you have." "I see. Please do not reboot the system. Ptilopsis is analyzing your query. ...I have formulated a solution through 435,642 queries. I will simply take it upon myself to remind you. ...Adding protocol to base system commands. ...Protocol added. Initiating protocol." And with the ghost of a smile on her face, the most she can manage: "I love you. I love you in such a way that I do not believe data can adequately describe. There is something very strange about the ways you push yourself, but I will admit it is one of your multiple admirable qualities. Despite your lack of memory, you have never hesitated to call on others when you falter. A capable leader knows when to perform such an act. You also have a certain way of bringing yourself up from your downfalls. You may tend to keep to yourself, but rest assured that I can assist you in managing such emotional valleys. Lastly, for now at the very least, your craft has always sparked some kind of interest within me. The system nexus has encountered errors while attempting to parse your creative works, but that does not mean I do not support you in such endeavors. In fact, I will ponder these errors from now on and make an effort to repair the system and fix them." "I..." Seth is expectantly speechless. "You do not have to weave such prose in response. A four-word reply will suffice." "I love you too." "Is Ptilopsis granted administrative permissions to go forth with the earlier activity outlined?" "Yes. But! Do I have permission to get saucy with it?" "Based on the associations of your previous uses of the phrase, I have deduced the meaning of 'get saucy.' Ptilopsis gives you full administrative permission to 'get saucy' so long as it assists in satisfying such a need." "Well- it's not a need, but... I'm not into it unless you are." "Do not worry. Ptilopsis is currently experiencing such a desire. I do not need to deduce via query that I am very into it." "Good," Seth leans close to Ptilopsis, so close that their lips are brushing. "Just had to check." And the two kiss, Ptilopsis' arms finding their way around Seth's waist, and Seth positioning his hands on Ptilopsis' hips. With a series of intricate steps to the right, Seth presses Ptilopsis against the bookcase flush with his office wall, and releases from the kiss. His lips graze down Ptilopsis' face, and come to rest just above her collarbone. "Ptilopsis has deduced that the action you are about to take is one that would result in the creation of what I believe is a hickey." Seth leans up, looking to Ptilopsis, suddenly embarrassed. "Do you not want that?" "I do not mind. I will notify you if you take an action I do not want to be a part of." Slightly less embarrassed, Seth leans back down and gently bites into Ptilopsis' neck, once on the right and twice on her left. "Ptilopsis has a request." "Yeah?" Seth brings himself back up to Ptilopsis' eye level. "Do I have administrator permissions to take part in the same action?" Seth nods. Ptilopsis latches onto Seth's neck just below his jawline; Seth's breath hitches. "Uh-" Ptilopsis immediately retracts. "Did I go too far?" "I- uh, yes, I think? Sorry, I just-" "Pay it no mind. I will not continue if such an action discomforts you in any way." "But I-" "The system nexus has a very high tolerance for what you personally consider 'saucy,' as stated earlier. Do not worry." "Gonna be honest with you. No idea why I asked you that." "It is fine. I believe I will ask the same thing if such a situation as this ever occurs again." "You want it to?" "I do not need to run a query to determine that my answer is a definite yes." And just then, Seth's phone rings from inside his jacket pocket. He carefully removes one of his hands from Ptilopsis' waist to grab his phone and answer it. "Hi?" "Hi, boss?" There's only one Laterano at Rhodes Island with that pep in her voice at five in the morning: Exusiai. "What's up? "You were supposed to be briefing us in the RIIC command center fifteen minutes ago." "Fuck." "Where are you? I saw you clock in this morning, and then you probably went to your office, but, like, I know Kal'tsit gives you a lot of paperwork, but not that much, right?" "Uh. I had some complications." "Complications, right." Exusiai says it in a knowing tone. "...I won't rat you out, boss. Promise." "Not a lot of people can say that, Exusiai." "Can you put Ptilopsis on the phone real fast, though?" Seth hands the phone over to Ptilopsis. "Hey, Ptilopsis?" "What may I assist you with, Operator Exusiai?" "I assume it worked?" "Yes it did." "Cool. But that was meant to take, like.. a few minutes? What happened?" "We had some complications." "Oookay, now I want to know." "Seth and I mutually decided to begin making out in the middle of his office. We then gave each other hickeys." "...I'm gonna hang up. Just get to the command center." "Affirmative." Ptilopsis hangs up the call for the two of them. "What was that about?" "Operator Exusiai will not tell anyone. She swore a vow of secrecy when I first asked her for advice on how to best court you." Seth steps away from Ptilopsis, his non-free hand accidentally lingering on Ptilopsis' hip for a moment longer than intended. "Court me? Awfully, uh... formal." He walks over to his desk and picks up his messenger bag, hoisting it over his shoulder. He takes his phone back from Ptilopsis and tucks it back into his jacket pocket. "It is simply the truth." "Court, like, date? Or marry? Or intercourse?" "I have deduced through three queries that the appropriate answer to this question is 'yes.'" Seth's face turns beet-red. "Oh. I think we should go on a few dates first, though." "I am in agreement. I do wish to truly know you before advancing in such measures as described." Seth does one last sweep for missing items. All good. "Wanna head out?" "Yes. Although I would like to ask for administrative permission to perform two tasks." "We're late." "They will take only a moment." "What's up, then?" "As a gesture of goodwill, may I lightly kiss your cheek?" "Yes, what? You don't have to ask about that." Ptilopsis provides a quick peck on the cheek in affirmation of Seth's reply as the two make their way out of Seth's office and into the hallway. "I would also find joy in performing the classic romantic gesture of holding hands as we walk to the command room." "My palms are sweaty, Ptilopsis." "I do not mind." "Pff- okay, you win." Seth closes the door to his office, locks it, and takes Ptilopsis' hand in his. ...And then, from around twenty feet back, in the shrill tone of a Supporter Operator whose skill with mechanics is unmatched: "Ohmygod, Ptilopsis and the Doctor are dating?!"

A Guide to Understanding Zombies Run S2 Radio mode

This isn’t complete, might be inaccurate; it is an outline of knowns and theories. A display of the Season 2 radio clips is here.  https://zombiesrun.fandom.com/wiki/Season_2_Radio_Mode_Clips You’ll need to use this to read along. The clips in this list have names with numbers in the first column.  These numbers are often out of order, but this IS THE ORDER the clips are in on the app.   If you just want to read what you missed, The transcript of S2 Radio is here. https://zrtranscripts.tumblr.com/post/180511002462/radio-abel compiled by the fandom’s very diligent Siriusmistake This post is Very Very long, so the rest follows under the jump.

The first column is the computer name of the clip which contains a number at the end. The second is the title of the clip.  The third column are the prerequisites for each clip to play.  As this is a computer if there is more than one prerequisite per clip, you should read each prerequisite in order, left to right.  for a clip with two prerequisites,  the first prereq should be met before the second is considered. Here’s an example, the first and second clip.  I made the computer name bold and the title of the clip italics.  The prerequisite is in plain text.  As you can see the first clip only has the prerequisite ‘always play’ and the second clip needs the first clip to have played in order to play.

Z2-RA-1-001 ERROR---CRITICAL DAMAGE---ERROR   ALWAYS()

Z2-RA-1-002 ERROR---CRITICAL DAMAGE---ERROR   SCENE(\"Z2-RA-1-001\") The unwritten rules of S2 radio are: 

Never play a clip twice within radio mode until restart. Think of it as crossing clips off after they have completed play.

Play the lowest numbered (by computer name) clip available first when resuming radio mode. The clips are ordered in a way that regular radio is always your first destination when resuming.

Dont play more than about 5 clips in numeric sequence without going off on a tangent, if possible. This one is a guess based on observation- there may be unseen code controlling things.

Keep a History of certain missions/clips having played and morale/defense level after a certain event (event unknown).

Clips 001-043: [actual clips 01-43] Feel free to skip this section, the tldr is that these clips play in sequence without tangents and once you’ve played S2M7 you can’t unlock certain clips.  Clip 001 has the prerequisite ALWAYS.  as it is the lowest numbered clip (computer name Z2-RA-1-001 ) it will always play first.  You will hear clips 002 to 003 after and then proceed to a prerequisite choice. As you can see, clips 004 and 007 both require clip 003 to have played, check if mission S2m7 is completed, and check that the alternate clip 004 or 007 has NOT played.  If jack and Eugene are not back at abel, you will hear 004, phil talk about brown sauce.  If jack and Eugene are back at abel, you will hear 007, ten seconds of J&E trying to broadcast and then you will hear phil talking about brown sauce.   the two clips following each brown sauce check to see if the clip before it played.  Then you get to the next prerequisite decision, 010 and 013, Shoot for the Stars.  The prerequisites being scheduled every 3 or 4 clips (or some other code) keeps radio from going off on tangents until after clip 044 has played. The only difference between the clips from 004 to 043 is that the clips with prerequisite S2M7 HAS played will hear 10 seconds of J&E broadcasting before Phil talks.  The Phil portions of the clips are identical.  This pattern proceeds to clip 044, where radio checks that you have completed a version of ‘Happy ending’ AND finished S2M7.  If you have not finished S2M7, There will be no clips available to play, and you would hear mission completed. The next time you played S2 Radio it would restart at clip 001.  In normal app play, you would finish S2M7 between 001 and 043 and then switch to the clips where J&E are trying to broadcast, but ONLY at one of those deciding clips. After S2M7 is unlocked, the remaining clips that require S2M7 NOT to have played will never be unlockable.

Clips 044 to 063: [Actual 44-63] This seems like be a simple 20 clip sequence.  Each clip has a simple ‘the previous clip has played’ prereq, until you get to clip 55, which has the prereq of clip 60.  Clip 55 cant be played in sequence, so radio goes off on a tangent. Based on the ‘5 clip rule’ I think radio reliably goes off on tangents after clip 47 and 51, but there’s no prereq saying it has to.  It appears there are mandatory tangents after 54, 63, 60 and 58.  We’ll return to clip 64 after a discussion of tangents.  TANGENTS Story resumes way below at END OF TANGENTS Every time you resume radio (by itself or after a mission) it looks for the lowest numbered (computer named) clip to play (that it hasnt played), and after 3-5 clips it can decide to go off on tangents.  Eventually it will decide to look for the next low numbered (computer named) clip and return to the main story.  TYPE OF TANGENT: Tangent: PreRequisite Always [Actual 89-92] These clips can be played at any time with no conditions.  Z2-RA-1-151 Z2-RA-1-164 Z2-RA-1-165.  There’s also a clip Z2-RA-1-152 that can be played at any time after you play side mission 4.  Tangent: PreRequisite Attack! [Actual 107-110] These clips play after an attack on your base.  Base attacks were active in the season 2 and 3 version of the app, where you could see attacks and gifts on the base tab of the app.  Attacks were disabled with the season 4 update; so these clips can no longer be unlocked. It’s possible that sustaining many attacks and not fixing the tower is the only way to get defense below 50%.  Z2-RA-1-A126 thru Z2-RA-1-A129 Tangent: PreRequisite Structure has been built [Actual 111-132 ] These clips can be unlocked primarily if you have certain buildings upgraded to the proper level.  The second and third clips per building have the precondition that the previous clip need to be played so that the clips will play in order.  The buildings these clips relate to are The Armory, The Comms shack, Farms, Hospital, Housing, The Playground, The training area.  The main buildings that do not have triggered clips are Janine’s farmhouse, the kitchen, the school, and the greenhouse. Tangent: Prerequisite Day of the week clips: [Actual 133-144] These clips should be triggered randomly if you run on a day of the week, 2 for each weekday and one for each weekend day.  They all have the precondition ‘and not SCENE_THIS_RUN’ that you shouldn’t hear two day of the week clips in the same run. Anecdote: In my runs, I have not heard any of these clips, both by using a phone set to american english keyboard and UK english keyboard.  I think this relates to HISTORY (skip to end) Z2-RA-1-D109  to Z2-RA-1-D120 Tangent Run description clips: [Actual 145-147] These are three clips where J&E describe an abel runner’s day.  These clips will play in order and should not play two clips per run. Z2-RA-1-R161 to Z2-RA-1-R163 Tangent Show clips. [Actual 148-155] The two shows are Radio Cable’s The Ablers and adventure serial Runner Zero and the Forest of Fear. You should only get one of these clips per run, and you are more likely to hear the The Ablers first because the first clip starts with the precondition ALWAYS.  Z2-RA-1-S153 to Z2-RA-1-S160 Tangent: PreRequisite TIME OF DAY clips [Actual 156-175] This one is VERY complicated.  If you shuffle to a clip in this section and are running at a specific time of day listed, you would get a clip.  There are 4 time divisions. The clips have these prerequisites: If the hour is before 9am (9) and you haven’t played a T (time) clip this run If the hour is before noon (12) but NOT before (9) [between 9am and noon] and you haven’t played a T (time) clip this run If the hour is before 10 pm (22) and you haven’t played a T (time) clip this run If the hour is before 10pm (22) and not before 6pm (18) [between 6pm and 10pm] and you haven’t played a T (time) clip this run This covers 12 of the 20 time clips.  Each time-zone section has two additional clips with a THIRD precondition of morale.  So first it checks time of day, then it checks to see if your morale is at least  (75) or (not 30) [below 30] and if a T (time) clip has already played this run.  This is a lot to think about, so here is how one of the clips with morale is written out:

Z2-RA-1-T092 [Time]

Danke Schoen

HOUR_BEFORE(9) and MORALE(75) and not SCENE_THIS_RUN(\"Z2-RA-1-T*\")

If Radio shuffles and tries to play this clip, you would have to be listening before 9am.  Then your morale would have to be over 75.  Finally, you would have to not have heard a T (time) clip this run.  If you don’t meet ALL of these prerequisites, radio is going to shuffle to some other clip without playing this one; you aren’t guaranteed to hear a time clip just because you cant hear this one.  So the morale time clips are very hard to catch!  Z2-RA-1-T089  to Z2-RA-1-T108 You might be saying I haven’t heard ANY of the Day of the Week clips or Time of Day clips!  More on that in the section below, HISTORY. Tangent Prerequisite Status clips. [Actual 176 to 179] These clips play one of four very similar survey clips based on both the morale and defense percentages. ‘High’ means over 50%  or higher, ‘low’ means not up to 50%.  The clips cover

high morale and high defense

high morale and low defense

low morale and high defense

low morale and low defense

Each clip also has a precondition of not having played one of the others, so after you have unlocked one of these clips you will not unlock the others.  Z2-RA-1-V167 to Z2-RA-1-V170 Tangent Prerequisite Holiday Date clips [Actual 180-184] These are your holiday clips!  Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Day, Halloween and Dia De Los Muertos You can only unlock these if the date you are running matches the holiday date, and according to lore, these are written in the european manner, Day/Month, rather than the American Month/Day.  Note: A few people think they have heard the new years clip because they have heard Radio Cable talk about champagne.  That is actually the clip named CAVA.  Z2-RA-1-Y121  to Z2-RA-1-Y125 RETURNING FROM TANGENTS You will continue to weave in an out of these tangents, returning occasionally to the section 43 - 63.  After it plays Z2-RA-1-058 [Radio] Corned Beef and Lentils, the next lowest numbered clip it can play is another split path.  If morale is 50%, it will play clips 64, 65 and 67.  If morale is not at or below 50%, it will play 66 and 68.  The very nice Clip Z2-RA-1-069 ‘Radio Cable‘ will play after you have played 67 OR 68.  There is a precondition for clips 64 and 66; if there is a history of playing either 64 or 66, you can not switch to the alternate morale path, even if you’re rerunning S2 Radio with different morale. Clips 70-72 continue the story. Clips 73-79 are another split.  Clips 73-75 are low morale, and clips 76-79 are high morale.  Clip 80 reunites the paths.  Clips 81-83 continue the story. From here it jumps to Actual clips 93 to 105. Then it jumps back to Actual clips 84 to 88. These are the last clips, and you should hear mission completed after! I think S2 is coded to get all unlockable clips played BEFORE you get to clip64/66. In many replays, the tangents stopped at that moment.  However, I have no proof.  SO HOW CAN I COMPLETE SEASON 2 RADIO?! Most likely, you cant.  THEORIES AND CONJECTURE LAY AHEAD. I DIDNT EXAMINE THE APP CODE. two factors contribute, HISTORY and DATE FORMAT.  2015 was a big year for ZR-  but with the ZR season 4 app version, I think something broke for their userbase that uses the date format MM/DD/YYYY,  There is anecdotal evidence that before 2015 american and european players could both unlock day of week and time of day clips.  There is also anecdotal evidence that at some point (likely the season 4 app update or some change to cellphone operating systems) that players with MM/DD/YYYY date format are unable to unlock date/time clips but players with DD/MM/YYYY format still can!  I have played the Season 2  radio in 2016 and several times recently, both with my phone keyboard formatted as American English and UK English. I have never unlocked a single Day of Week or Time of Day clip.   Having my keyboard formatted as UK english will change the date format on websites.  However with ZR you have the additional factor of HISTORY.  HISTORY To understand History, lets look back at the first 43 clips in S2 Radio.  These clips run in sequence, with the app checking every 3 clips to see if the prerequisite S2M7 had been run.  Deleting the app and redownloading ALSO syncs your mission history, so it brings along the S2M7 run confirmation.  User SeriousHatOn on reddit claims a solution for this: He deleted the S2M7 run log on zombie link, deleted the app from his phone, and then redownloaded the app.  The fresh app no longer had a record of S2M7 being completed, and allowed him to play all of the clips in 001-043 that do NOT have the S2M7 prerequisite code.  https://www.reddit.com/r/Runner5/comments/dg4m2i/trying_to_complete_radio_season_2technical_issues/ If this experiment is correct, clips based on Morale and Date format would likely work the same way;  the app has saved a history of what your morale is SOMEWHERE (probably in the logs for season 2 radio).  However, in order to unlock the alternate clips, you likely need to delete your mission logs on zombielink, delete and redownload the app.  Since we don’t know WHEN the app samples morale, you might need to delete every instance of RadioS2 playing, which would include all the missions where it played after mission end. I have a suspicion that if you delete all your runs with morale tracked (runs containing the status clip, and clips 64-80) from zombie link and redownload the app you might be able to reset the morale history, but it might not and I’m unwilling to try that.  Anecdotal evidence: My base has a history of low morale, so I have not unlocked the clips with the morale at or above 50%. Date and time is even more vague.  I have no idea if date and time is stored as a history just in Season 2 radio, or if having ANY missions logged in the MM/DD/YYYY format would create a history of date keeping and block you from hearing the date and time clips. Anecdotal Evidence!  User sredman played S2 in 2014 (before season 4) in America and unlocked some of the time of day/ day of week clips.    User brammariek also unlocked date and time clips playing Season 2 in Norway in 2016.  SO WHAT CAN I UNLOCK? You can unlock the Always clips, the Structure clips (It will help if you confirm that the structure is built to level 4 before replaying), The run and show clips, one of the survey clips.  In practice, I was not able to unlock the training area clips, the 2nd and 3rd hospital clips have a coding error.  But I did unlock the playground clips this year by building a playground for the first time.  If you have unlocked any of the date/time clips, it is very likely that you can unlock ALL of them, and also the holiday clips.  Best to make sure you are past clip 44 in advance of running on the holiday.  If you go back far enough in ZR history, at one point you weren’t able to see and replay the clips after finishing a mission.  Seeing the names of Radio clips happened about a year after that, so this is only a problem that has been created by Six to Start giving us accessibility options of playing clips after the fact. BUT I’M A COMPLETIST. My advice is when you buy a new phone, convert the date format to UK english, download the app, register as a new user, and play through S2 with a morale of 100%.  Don’t forget to play a bunch of missions in advance to build your morale to the desired level.  Or you can read ZR transcript’s excellent transcriptions here.  https://zrtranscripts.tumblr.com/post/180511002462/radio-abel

RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, June 28 2020

Welcome to my latest summary of recent ecommerce news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & Etsy! This covers articles, podcasts, videos and infographics I came across since the late May report, although some may be older than that.

I am currently working on Etsy search testing and a few new blog posts and pages for my website, so it may be a few more weeks before I get a new report out. In the meantime, if you have an questions, comments or suggestions, please contact me here or on my website.  

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

Ecommerce sales are way up, but so are many costs, and delays in shipping are part of the problem. “...many of our merchants start preparing mid-year for peak-season volume, holidays. We’ve seen many merchants hitting and even exceeding their normal Black Friday and Cyber Monday volumes consistently through April, forcing them to adapt quickly for greater capacity.” UPS is charging high-volume customers a surcharge based on how much more they are shipping compared to normal times, and also for an increase in oversized packages. 

Mail delivery is still slow in many countries. Canada Post hit an all-time delivery record with 2.1 million parcels on May 19, but may finally be getting caught up. [article in French] Shipping between countries can also be substantially delayed, in part due to the lack of air traffic right now. USPS is using sea transport for packages to some European countries. And USPS rates are going up for international shipping in July, due to the new Universal Postal Union deal. "Anyone who is a bulk shipper, your rates are going up".

A reminder that the US economy isn't suddenly going to stabilize in the fall; it’s likely to crash. The US is now officially in a recession. Many people are not going to have money for a lot of discretionary spending. Furthermore, some categories of items will likely drop in price due to company closures, supply chain issues and bankruptcies. That will increase competition at the same time there are fewer buyers for many types of items. Ecommerce sales in the US are projected to rise 18% this year, but it won’t be enough to make up for the loss of brick & mortar retail sales. “The apparel and accessories category is typically the second-largest in e-commerce, for example, but will only grow 8.6% as consumers shift spending away from discretionary, non-essential purchases.”  Retail in the US is expected to be down more than 10% in 2020.

ETSY NEWS 

Etsy has released an addition to the iOS app that will allow shoppers to use augmented reality to see wall art on their home’s walls. The Verge was critical of how long it took for Etsy to catch up with the competition, and the fact that it is not available for Android yet. TechCrunch went into more detail. 

As mentioned last time, you can now add short, no-audio videos to your listings. Etsy is so big on this, they are offering listing credits and ad credits to sellers who upload 5 or more videos by July 6. As always, make sure you read the legal policies before you participate in this offer. 

The Etsy Design Awards are back, with submissions due by July 15th. Note that they are only open to 38 countries, for some reason. There is a forum discussion thread with tips, and a podcast [audio & transcript] with previous winners.

If you sell any items for kids, you will find this trending items article from Etsy useful. Searches including “kid,” “child,” or “baby” didn’t go up as much in April as one might have expected, given the pandemic shopping bump, but puzzles were popular. They include some search terms: for example, there was a “250% YoY increase in searches on Etsy containing “jump rope” in April. Also, “while school may look different this fall, we’re already seeing an increase for school-related searches compared to the same time last year.”

Face mask seller ZhenLinen was interviewed on NPR [text and audio] about mask selling, and was even asked about the offsite ads fees near the end. They sold 31,000 masks while their event-supply business was in pandemic limbo; most of those sales were through Etsy. The good news articles about mask sales, & suggesting Etsy as a source of masks, are continuing, although some do mention slow delivery times and even undelivered orders. By the way, if any mask sellers are looking for new places to sell, Facebook finally caught up and is now allowing mask sales, ads and other promotions. 

According to analysis of Etsy’s API data, May 2020 was Etsy’s best month ever. Remember that the API data misses things like sales of multiples, so it is not the most accurate source, but I don’t have any reason to doubt the statement is true. 

Etsy stock went over $100 for the first time, before dropping as the rest of the market went down. 

You have probably already seen Etsy’s statement on race issues after the recent murder in the US. “That’s why today we are announcing donations of $500,000 to the Equal Justice Initiative and $500,000 to Borealis Philanthropy’s Black-Led Movement Fund, as well as matching employee donations. We encourage our community to join us in supporting these important organizations.  Etsy is built on a belief that communities have the power to change the status quo. Change is hard-fought, and we are committed to this fight.“

If you have your real name on your Etsy account, don’t attract any attention from the police. 

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES 

If you don’t really understand what algorithms are and how they work for search engines, you will want to get caught up here. Key to understanding: “An algorithm is not a formula.”

This is a bit advanced, but it’s a good explanation of how to figure out searcher intent in Google results, and then fulfill it with new content. [video, transcript, and downloadable form]

Linking from one page on your website to another can be an important part of SEO. It can also help you get more page views, if you link to new pages from your most popular pages. Creating internal site links on the same page through a table of contents [advanced, coding info] can even get you more links in Google search results. 

Speed on mobile devices is also a big part of SEO as well as conversions. “a 0.1 second improvement in site speed resulted in Retail conversions increases of 8.4% and average order value increases of 9.2%.”

Bing made changes to its backlink tool, including the ability to see your competition’s backlinks. The option is part of Bing’s Webmaster tools, & allows you to analyze “similar sites”. Their Webmaster Tools now can also analyze your site for SEO errors. 

A former Google employee is starting a new search engine, called Neeva. 

Some SEOs recommend removing “low-quality” pages from your site to improve your overall rankings, but low-quality doesn’t necessarily mean pages that few people visit [text & video]. And short posts are not necessarily “low-quality”. If your page is mostly duplicate content, it is like low quality, but just repeating a few lines on each page is not duplicate content. 

Google missed a few episodes of its Google search news YouTube post during the pandemic, but they were back on May 26 with an update. They’ve also finally released their webspam report for 2019. “we observed that more than 25 Billion pages we discover each day are spammy.”

Advanced content [video with multi-language subtitles, & text summary in English]: Google, JavaScript, & links. 

Shopify sites have built-in blogs,and those blogs can help you get sales through SEO. And while we are on Shopify SEO, here is some advice on fixing technical SEO issues on Shopify sites. [the second is advanced content unless you know some coding]

While having an author page isn’t a requirement on any news/blog site, it might be a good idea anyway [text and video]. Content that is useful for readers is ultimately good for your site’s SEO. 

Here is a history of Google’s PageRank, and what it still does for ranking. 

Did the Google May core update really mess up organic search relevance? Some people think so. [I had noticed the Wikipedia drop but thought it was just for a particular search.] There may be more ranking updates underway right now. 

Google plans on introducing user experience as part of the ranking algorithm, although it won’t happen before next year, and we will get 6 months warning. Search Engine Land lists the following elements: “whether the page loads quickly, if it’s mobile-friendly, runs on HTTPS, the presence of intrusive ads and if content jumps around as the page loads.” They add a bunch of technical advice, and the tools to follow up on it. 

Do you find SEO confusing? Don’t worry - even the pros working for big companies make huge errors. 

(CONTENT) MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails) 

Updated infographic with the common social media image sizes used today. (Several of these get published yearly, because there are always changes.)

Is blogging still relevant? [TL;DR - yes] And if you want to write more interactive posts, here are some tools for that. 

Video app TikTok made a lot of money in April, but is seeing competition from a new short video app called Zynn, which allows users to make money by watching videos and bringing in new users. However, Zynn has already been removed from Google Play store amid accusations of content theft. Instagram has a challenger called “Reels”, and even YouTube wants some of that TikTok traffic, so they are introducing 15 second videos. Meanwhile, TikTok is coming under closer scrutiny for its invasive tracking. 

Every social network apparently needs to have their own version of Stories these days, so Pinterest has introduced a new version of Story Pins in the US. “Unlike Stories on other platforms, which are often self-focused snippets from someone’s life, Pinterest Stories Pins are designed as clickable content focused on sharing ideas. For example, Story Pins could offer a step-by-step guide to cooking a recipe or creating a craft project. A Story Pin could also offer ideas around how to reorganize your home office, keeping the kids entertained, beauty tutorials and more.”

Google appears to be imitating Pinterest with their new release, called “Keen”. You add items yourself but Google then attempts to find more things you are interested in, using AI. 

If you are looking for some new tools to help with Instagram, Social Media Today compiled a list of 5 recent ones. They include image processing, templates, and analytics. 

Twitter is beta-testing the ability to tweet sound files directly from the platform, instead of embedding links to other sites. The article notes that these may be more difficult to moderate than text tweets would be. 

Two of the three parts of this article cover local businesses, but the middle part has some promotional ideas that mostly involve content marketing & social media. Nothing groundbreaking, but a decent list if you are looking for new free ways to advertise.

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS) 

Semi-advanced - how to improve your Google Ads optimization score. 

GCLID is short for “Google Click Identifier” to help track ads and conversions. You can learn more here. [Understanding this is useful for both your own ad campaigns and understanding other ads, such as the Etsy Offsite Ads program.)

Money coming in from social media video ads has increased from the lows in April. Facebook ads have improved the most. 

New advertisers on Instagram will not necessarily have to link their accounts to Facebook any more. It may be linked to a campaign to “stop hate for profit” that calls for people to stop buying Facebook & Instagram ads during July, and which has attracted several big players such as Unilever and Verizon. Some companies are leaving all social media ads, or are extending the Facebook boycott until the end of the year. But as the first article points out, Zuckerberg’s complete control of voting means he can’t be turfed by a board just to protect profit, so a short boycott may not be the best way to get change. 

Facebook published a new explanation of how ads work on the platform. 

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING 

For people who are new to Google Analytics: here are some things you should be tracking, as well as these, and some tips on finding source info for SEO work. If you want to improve your customers’ experience with the site, check out these tips. [There is some crossover between the 4 articles, but I think that those of you trying to learn more detailed examples of how GA works will find everything useful.]

What is a “session” in Google Analytics? This article includes screenshots & tips on changing their length. 

You can get great keyword data from the Google Search Console - here’s how. 

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS 

Online shopping has received a huge boost from the pandemic lockdowns, and big online marketplaces are now competing for new small businesses to fill the growing demand. Walmart outsold eBay in May, for the first time ever. Things are slowing down a bit, though: “buy-online-pick-up-in-store (BOPIS) had begun to “plateau.” BOPIS growth in May was 195% year over year, which was down from its April peak of more than 200%.”

Amazon is being criticized for allowing many prohibited items to be sold on the site, even through “fulfilled by Amazon”, so the items are stored in its warehouses. “Graham did not respond directly to many of our specific questions, including how many of the banned items that The Markup found had been sold, why the company had not noticed some of them for months, why some were listed as Amazon’s Choice, and why many were stored in Amazon’s warehouses for shipment. He did not respond at all to questions about why Amazon itself had offered banned items for sale. Most of the banned listings we reported to Amazon have been removed, although at least three have popped back up.” [emphasis added]

Amazon is now offering multi-channel fulfillment in the US; you don’t even need to use Fulfillment by Amazon to sign up. They’ve also introduced lines of credit for sellers, through a partnership with Goldman Sachs. 

eBay is rallying sellers to object to a proposed Louisiana law that would force marketplace sites to verify the identities of higher-volume sellers in the state. The law was passed anyway, and takes effect July 1. Here are the highlights of the new law.

Now-fired eBay employees harassed and stalked the EcommerceBytes owner and her husband for months after eBay’s CEO at the time said eBay needed to “take down” the site & its owner.

Walmart now has ThredUp as one of its third-party sellers on the Walmart website. They sell second-hand clothing and accessories for women & kids, often famous labels. Sales are all online but buyers will be able to return things to Walmart stores. 

Walmart has also partnered with Shopify, allowing small businesses to list directly on Walmart’s website through Shopify. This appears to be a limited initiative, as they only plan on including 1200 Shopify sellers by the end of 2020. Most analysts think this is a plan to compete with Amazon more directly. 

In addition to its existing website, Target is now offering items on Instagram Checkout. 

Shopify has been getting great media coverage lately, including this article suggesting them as an alternative to Amazon third-party selling, once the new “Shop” app gets some traction. 

BigCommerce has introduced drag-and-drop design tools for its website builder. 

Square has begun using rolling reserves to reduce its risk with some sellers. “In one instance, Legal Knock, a company that builds websites for law firms, told the Times that it never had a customer demand a refund for their work and yet Square kept $4,000 in reserve in May. Sean Weber, the owner, said he had trouble contacting the company and wasn't satisfied with its explanation. He even said Square blocked him on Twitter.”

Upcoming PayPal changes for US users include seller protection for some digital items, and not necessarily requiring buyers to return items to win a significantly not as described case. Remember that many PayPal changes start with the US and then expand to other countries; Canadian changes are here. 

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE 

When thinking about customer returns, remember that a lower-than-average return rate is not necessarily your top goal. “You may ask, “why would a merchant want to increase returns?” It’s because they’re using returns as a growth driver. They’ve figured out, for their respective businesses, that a higher rate of returns actually nets out to an increase in sales and repeat purchasing. So much so, that the overall uptick in business far outweighs the increased costs of more frequent returns.”

Consumers are reading reviews more than ever, but half of this study’s respondents said that “‘too many companies’ are creating fake reviews online.”

Many people are tired of the “things are different” ads that have predominated, & want to see more ads showing people getting back to normal. “The U.S., U.K. and the Netherlands are primed for a jump in fashion purchases, with significant percentages of consumers in those countries planning clothing purchases in the next 30 days. The finding suggests that fashion marketers may increase their marketing efforts to reach consumers who are ready to buy apparel as lockdowns are lifted.”

We don’t know what the holiday shopping season will look like this year, so ecommerce businesses should be planning for many different scenarios. 

Here’s an interesting overview of how some searches changed in the first few months of the pandemic. [infographic] And some of the shopping changes people made, especially Gen Z, may be permanent. “...younger consumers are shifting their habits faster than their older counterparts.” That report also states that “33% of these consumers have increased their online spending, for a net increase of 6%, versus 23% of consumers in older generations, or a net increase of 1%.”

Here’s more on the second-hand clothing trend that is hitting its boom years. “According to the report, secondhand goods are expected to make up 17% of a person’s share of closet space by 2029, up from just 3% in 2009.” Gen Z is a big user of Depop, which has a lot of altered and enhanced vintage clothing available. 

MISCELLANEOUS 

This article has inspired me to completely redo my website’s About page. Not yet, of course, but some day soon…

Speaking of websites, here’s a good list of dos & don’ts for a contact form.

eBay may be probing your computer when you visit, and that is not always legal. 

Free Zoom accounts can’t set up encrypted calls/meetings, because “the firm wants to keep this feature away from free users to work with law enforcement in case of the app’s misuse.”

Finally in privacy news, Google is being sued for still tracking you in various ways when you use Chrome’s incognito mode. 

more thoughts about the magnus archives as i reread the transcripts

i was thinking about how gertrude robinson was really an extraordinary person (not extraordinarily Morally Sound, but extraordinary) just because of who she was, whereas the only extraordinary things about jonathan sims are things that have been arranged for him (i.e. his role). i don't mean this as a diss for jonathan, as i'm not extraordinary either. it's just striking that gertrude was so driven and confident compared to jon. of course, now we know that basically everything she did was in the pursuit of a moot goal (i.e. killing people in order to stop rituals that were already doomed to fail) so maybe my point is somewhat moot as well.

i've been doing some rereading of episodes on my phone (i.e. away from this text document on my computer) and i'll have a realization like "right, i should note that down when i get back to my computer" and i have forgotten all of them now that i am back at my computer. suffice it to say there are quite a few things i misheard/misunderstood on the first listen, unsurprisingly.

reading through the first 20 or so episodes i'm surprised by how well i remember each of them, considering i was listening like 4 episodes a day when i started. then again, it was only a month or two ago that i even listened to them, so one should hope my memory is at least this good. anyway the first episode i'm re-listening instead of rereading is 22 bc that's the first one where we hear martin's voice, i'm pretty sure

i've also noticed some errors in the official transcripts, which aren't a big deal because obviously what matters most is the audio, but still... some of them have been simple typos. magnus archives hire me as your official transcriptionist and i'll make all your transcripts 100% error-free bc im smatr

(reading through the rest of the transcripts and my standards went way down in terms of grammar/stylistic consistency, as most of the later ones are fan transcripts by several different people. i found quite a few mistakes, but obviously i have no particular way to help fix them short of sending an email to the tma transcripts fansite person like “hey there’s all these mistakes. upload my good version instead?” bc i’m not that much of a dick)

the whole reason martin went to the spider guy's building was because he didn't want jon to be disappointed in him for not doing Due Diligence. he says so twice. then he went back for the same reason. it seems the fandom joke is "jon asks his assistants to do crimes for him" but in this case martin is like "oh no maybe i didn't do enough crimes to satisfy jon"

jon was doing his archivist voice HEAVILY in season 1, huh?

tim's first appearance is so jovial compared to how he ends up...

if this boat lady is speaking spanish in brazil, then it doesn't matter if it was "bad spanish" or not. anyway now i understand why we already knew peter lukas was serving the lonely by the time jon mentioned offhand that peter lukas was serving the lonely. it was my whole “let’s not bother noting down any FREQUENTLY RECURRING names”

well i guess robert smirke was a real person. should i feel dumb about this? idk. it’s such a fictional-sounding name, to be fair. but i guess that set the precedent of using a real person as an important historical figure in the fiction that we see happening again when edmund halley is referenced later on. also episode 35 has foreshadowing for the separation of 14 powers, and people thought it was 13 because they mention 13 halls PLUS the one they came through.

totally forgot about tim goofing around in episode 39... he was really not having the worst time at this job before bad things started happening and he realized he was trapped, huh

the worms were trying to make a doorway into the Worm Wealm

ep 40 jon's like "I need to hear it. I need to record it. Or else I can't finish." (lightly abridged)

listening to the season 1 Q&A for the first time and EARL BIGMAC

also good to know there's only going to be 5 seasons. very good to know. this seems like a good kind of series to write with a fixed endpoint in mind, as it's very easy to do an episode that has effectively no bearing on the MetaPlot but which is still a short story in itself and therefore doesn't count as "filler"

jonathan sims performs with a mythical space pirate music cabaret. so he IS a ham

jonny says, "no rude words. i could say bums, maybe..." (alexander j newall does a laugh while i do the exact same laugh irl) "...but i won't."

some dumbass writing into the Q&A to ask if the background music is diegetic... get a podcast brain, ya fool. though for my part, i have to say that one of the most striking things about this podcast when i first started listening (though i never made a note of it before) was the Too Spooky Music, and i didn't like it at all. the reason was that i am, and have been, vulnerable to Getting Spooked about irrational things at night, such that it becomes really hard to fall asleep... and one of the things that has an outsize effect on my level of Spookédness is spooky audio. so if i was watching a video at night and i was worried it would Get Me Spooked, i would just turn the sound off, and it would turn out fine. but obviously you can't turn the sound off on a podcast. and i've been listening to podcasts after work, i.e. after 5pm, and i go to bed at like 8 or 9pm because i'm old. so the way it turned out was that even if the actual subject of the podcast wasn't that scary to me, the music would amplify it in an unpleasant way and make me more likely to have trouble sleeping. also i think most of the episodes would have been fine without the music, or maybe with some less intentionally-disconcerting background music.

this just in: i seem to have totally missed episode 50 on my first listen-through, despite having gone in linear order. bc i'm listening to it now and i've definitely never heard this before. fortunately it doesn't seem to have much of a bearing on the rest of the series, so it's not like i missed any crucial information. tbh the only worthwhile bit was a brief moment of tim being a ham, which was good. i hope i didn't miss any other episodes the first time... still don't know how i managed to miss this one.

the official transcript said [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER] ...

so gertrude and leitner WERE played by jonny's parents <:3c i'd thought as much when i saw the cast names but i like that it's confirmed. his mom is a really good actress too. i always find the gertrude episodes to be striking in a certain way

"it's Fine working with your parents. it's Fine." as someone who worked with my mom for like a year i can confirm this

i'm tickled to find that the official transcripts have a sense of humor. i wonder who is behind them. i also wonder, what is the excuse for not having a full set of official transcripts when it is a script-based show? surely you know what is going to be said beforehand, and you have it written down, and if someone ends up saying something different in the final recording, surely it wouldn’t be too hard to give the original script a little edit, and bam! that’s a transcript. i wonder if this approach is not feasible for some reason.

whenever martin reads statements, he says something about jon... whenever he talks to someone, he says something about jon

i think episode 110 is an instance of the tape recorder turning ITSELF off... at the end of the episode. because they walk away, and they say something distantly, and then it turns off. lots of other times, there had to be a diegetic reason for the tape recorder to turn off at the end.

i noticed something which i missed last time, which was that there is a rumor between melanie and georgie and basira that implies that jonathan is asexual. worth noting, i think. [side note added in later: yeah it’s canon. cool]

also i listened to episode 103 again and yes. i had thought-- i had been SURE-- that the person interrogating the traffic cop (using the asky ability) was martin. but it was actually jon. how did i possibly manage that mistake? i'm not great at distinguishing voices, but i'm not THAT bad. the only possible answer: when i was listening to the episode for the first time... i must have been eating a crunchy snack.

"it doesn't have to make sense! alex has to make it sense." (jonny sims re: writing the spiral)

glad to know that jonny sims regrets using his own name for the protagonist. doesn't make a difference either way at this point but yeah

YES i knew episode 100 was improvised. and i see, all the statementers had actually had supernatural experiences, but because the archivist was absent, their statements didn't have the coherence and clarity normally lent to them by the eye (in exchange for becoming cursed). i think melanie or basira actually said pretty much that in the episode itself, but i still couldn't be sure that all of those people had something real to talk about.

"in the same way that tim is dead, michael is helen." good shit

the archivist is canon a bit of a drama queen. the first bullet point in my first tma notes document is vindicated

jonny sims mentions another podcast (apocrypals) that sounds 100% up my alley, so that is appreciated, i will add that to my list i think. (listened to episodes 0 and 1 of apocrypals and i'm heavily struck by how VERY clearly i can hear the smiles in chris sims's voice. i did not know smiling could be so audible, truly.) (listened to quite a few more episodes of apocrypals and it’s certainly entertaining at times. i should’ve been reading along though. maybe some other time)

I DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE SEASON 4 TEASER THE FIRST TIME AROUND.........................................

i must confess something that people who know me well may already know: i hate when stories have a bad ending. an unhappy ending. a painful ending. a hopeless ending. bittersweet is the furthest in that direction i can tolerate. my perspective, which is pretty deep-seated, is that there's no point in getting to know and love characters if you're only going to be hurt by that connection to them when the end turns out to be bad. if i have even a mild inkling that a story is heading toward a bad ending, i make a conscious effort to regard all characters from afar and not develop any strong attachments. this is not so much "how i think all stories need to be," but rather, "the characteristics a story needs to have to appeal to me personally." so i understand that my view is very subjective and mostly based on my own mental weakness. but i can't help but apply it to the media i consume. and the idea that someone would do something like "make characters very human and strongly developed" IN COMBINATION WITH "heading toward a bad end" makes me upset. like, picture a horror movie. think about the characters in a horror movie. with the exception of a main character, if there is one, there's no guarantee that anyone is going to survive to the end of the film... BUT... the characters generally aren't fleshed out and very sympathetic. i wouldn't go so far as to say they're disposable, but you're not SUPPOSED to cry when they die; you're just supposed to get scared. their purpose is as objects of fear, and you never expect or even hope for a happy ending. but in the magnus archives... all i'm saying... is that i would cry if any of the remaining members of the main cast died. and it seems clear that we're not heading to a happy ending. so i'm somewhat afraid, and not in a good way. i don't know how much i can trust jonny sims to give me the story i want, and obviously, i'm not entitled to it.

if your name is jonathan and you want to shorten it, the short form is jon. it ain't john, no matter what the official transcripts say. where'd you get that h, huh? stole it from someone else's name? are you shortening it like JOnatHaN? you can’t just be that sneaky!

i listened to scrutiny again and it hits so hard. now, in heart of darkness, when manuela begs jon not to force her statement, it's really heavy given the direct context of the previous two episodes where we see how compulsion works and how it hurts.

also when jon was talking about how to destroy the dark sun and he was like "i just need to see it," when i first heard it, i assumed he meant something along the lines of, "by seeing it, i will learn how to destroy it." but now i understand that the mere act of the eye seeing it destroys it, because being known is what the darkness is weakest to.

the magnus employees who work in the library probably at least have a LITTLE BIT of a feeling that they work in an almost normal place, given that jon and all his assistants were able to have that impression before transferring to the archives. so i wonder how the magnus library people feel about their institute's director getting arrested for double murder and now the big boss is a completely unrelated ship captain who seems to want nothing to do with the place but simultaneously is trying to continue business as usual

on second listen, listening to jon ask helen when the guilt stops (wrt hurting people in order to feed one's patron fear) is pretty chilling. because it seems like he's definitely accepting that he will have to hurt people, and what he's concerned about is how bad it makes HIM feel. of course, helen then answers with precisely what i just wrote, so...

i should've read the transcript for episode 159 instead of relistening because i forgot that peter lukas's actor got so gravelly and hard to listen to in this one. anyway, time to re-listen to the season 4 finale... then i'll listen to the season 4 Q&As and stuff... and then the new episode. (DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI)

i heard in the Q&A that the voice of peter lukas did multiple takes for episode 159?! but it was because of technical difficulties. right. because i can’t imagine the way it turned out being deemed the best take. sorry

ok, things i missed last time i listened to 160: daisy and the other two hunters are missing. also jon mentioned "magnus's body" and martin mentioned "an old man's corpse" and at the time i took this to mean (somewhat unthinkingly) that when jon and martin returned from the lonely, they killed elias/jonah's body. which would be a weird thing to happen "off-camera," so to speak. so i think i must have been wrong? slightly confused. ok, no, i'm now sure that elias survived, so i must have misunderstood. definitely alive.

as martin leaves and jon is about to begin the statement, he sounds so peaceful and satisfied. that's good acting.

by the way, in one of the previous few episodes, i noticed that jonah seems to have body-swapped by switching out his eyes into his preferred body, which i'm pretty sure i missed the first time.

i like that jonny sims checks reddit to see whether people have solved the mystery. that's just a really funny way to do things, sneaking a peek like "hmm how mysterious is my mystery? let's see who has figured it out..." and for the record, i wasn't even close to figuring it out. but to be fair to myself, i didn't try. like i said from the beginning, i started listening with the intent of going along for the ride. plus the mystery had already been solved before i started listening to the series, so it's not like i had a lot of time in between updates to contemplate whether elias was jonah, etc.

JON'S AMERICAN ACCENT FOR THE IONIZED YEAST AD

ALEX WAS THE VOICE OF JARED HOPWORTH?! i mean it was so messed up it could have been anybody but god

ALEX DIDN'T LET GERTUDE CACKLE

i've listened to the bloopers (including a gertrude cackle?) and the season 5 trailer (martin seems slightly cavalier about the end of the world but maybe he's just trying to keep his shit together for jon) and i'm going to listen to the new episode Soon.

final conclusion on rereads/relistens: i had pretty poor comprehension of some important happenings. i’m realizing just how easy it is to mishear/fail to hear exactly what is happening in a podcast when you’re doing other stuff at the same time. there are still a couple things i don’t quite understand, but i think i’ll have a look around the wiki one of these days.

Demon Splicing and Why the Clones Failed.

This is more like a research paper than a fan theory, but hey, I had fun. I’ll try to improv some citations at the bottom, but I don’t guarantee that Tumblr will let me keep them there. 

Now, this is a HUGE, MASSIVE, LONG-ASS POST, and once more it is ultra-sciencey; so if you have any confusions, questions, or want to just look the other way and just go “eh, magic” then that is totally okay. I don’t, and won’t, claim to be any kind of authority on these things; I just needed an excuse to open my computer again and I guess do some intense research into etymology (that would be the study of anything with an exoskeleton, basically. I promise it is very much relevant to this theory.). 

Summary/TLDR: Demons need specific qualities in their hosts in order to suit themselves, ergo they modify their host’s bodies by using Mutually symbiotic viruses, akin to those of the Polydnaviridae ingroup which coexists within several genera of parasitoid wasps, to alter the human genome. What we explore here is how they do so. Also, because it is intrinsically connected, we will also be dipping our toes into why, exactly, the clones weren’t “suitable” in all instances, as well as how demons may or may not select their hosts. This circles back to my previous post discussing the Twin’s and Paternity, and specifically the topic of genetic expression, though you do not need to have seen or read that post to understand what I’m talking about here. Also discussed is the matter of genes that humans lack, but which would seem to find their way in during possession; the production of feathers, the formation of additional limbs, proteins,  and such which are simply not within the power of any existing virus we know of to alter . 

One thing must lead to another however, so before we get into the biological science, we need to get into the hypothetical, cosmological stuff that is quantum physics. Didn’t see that one coming, did ya?

Demons and DNA: 

We know from that one elusive panel of chapter 44 ( I think...) that demons have genetics - they have genes, which implies that they have, at the very least, DNA. The question then is how, but more so where - where did those genes come from?. Demons don’t have physical bodies, right...? Why would they need DNA? 

Because maybe some of them do possess actual, physical “bodies”, or at least cells, that preside in Gehenna. 

The Demon Kings are quite likely to be an exception rather than a rule, considering they were the first demons to have come into existence, or at the very least the first demons to have ever attained bodies -- which is precisely how demonkind may have obtained DNA in the first place, via a phenomena called horizontal transference. 

Now, I’m going to contradict, in a sense, my other post here, and tell you to forget what you were taught about viruses in high school. Virology is a complicated school of biology, and viruses are extremely simple, and yet extremely complex organisms. Now, viruses typically contain RNA which allows the virus to reproduce once it is injected into the cells of its host by combining viral RNA with eukaryotic (for the sake of simplicity) DNA. 

However, there are strains of viruses that contain DNA, not RNA. No one is completely sure how these viruses evolved, but one theory would suggest that these dnaviruses “stole” part of their genetic material from the hosts they evolved with, incorporating pieces of lipids and proteins to turn their RNA into functional DNA; this process of one organism “stealing” DNA from another is called horizontal transference, and it is how bacteria and other asexually reproducing organisms maintain genetic diversity and “evolve”. 

But, you ask, how the bloody hell does a Virus have DNA? How does it replicate?

 When most people think of viruses, they think of mobile ones, pathogenic ones - but dnaviruses are not usually pathogenic, instead highjacking the excretory or reproductive systems of their hosts and using their reproductive cells to spread genealogically from parent to offspring. One well-studied example of this is the polydnavirus found in Ichneumon wasps, which are themselves parasitoid. They reproduce by injecting their eggs into the bodies of paralyzed caterpillars, who then feed the hatching larvae with it’s living tissues. However, one problem the wasp faces with this method of reproduction is the caterpillar’s immune system, which could kill the eggs - were it not for the polydnavirus, which produces chemical signals that prevent the caterpillar’s immune system from destroying the precious egg that is it’s host cell. As the larvae develops, the polydnavirus is replicated into the cells of the larvae, and once it hatches it is literally born with the virus in it’s body. (I’ll let you go wild with the half-demon thing there, I’m here to talk about possession right at the moment.)

Ok, ok, but what does this have to do with demons? after all, demon possession is, in a way, “contagious” since demons can go from host to host. 

Welcome then, to the world of multi-viral mutual symbiosis - fancy way of saying viruses can work together to meet the ends of one another in a host if it benefits both viruses. Demons may possess some form of this event, being somehow sentient (by means perhaps of primitive, conductive cells not unlike what you would find in a jellyfish) but ultimately composed of or utilizing not only one, but several strains of viruses to fulfil their parasitic ends, one which allows them to infect the host and modify existing DNA, and one which can incorporate it’s own DNA into that of the host to bring about desirable conditions. To that, I must add as a courtesy that those primitive conductive cells which could, in a way, offer sentience, may in fact be what comprises the physical manifestations of demon’s hearts. None of this is, of course, to explain demon magic, which is a subject I do intend to breach one of these days - but not today. Today, we do science.

 This goes away to explain why Todou sprouted feathers, a phenomena that would not have otherwise been biologically possible given the constraints of human protein structure. That isn’t to say that it would be impossible for a virus to modify via RNA transcription keratinoid proteins to form hollow attachments, which is exactly what you find in polar bears and porcupines, but the structure of feathers is, I’m afraid, just too far off the mammalian path for it to be but a 0.03% likelihood via RNA transcription alone, meaning that it would have to have been the result of DNA that isn’t human. 

Speaking of statistical probabilities: 

Cloning and the Failure Thereof

Humanity has a hollywood-induced idea that cloning organisms is a fail-less system, when that could not be further from the truth. In point of fact, only about 3% of all attempted cloning experiments with everything from fish to sheep produce viable, healthy clones. This is because cloning is done, kind of ironically, in much the same way as a virus operates; by using the  DNA and RNA of the existing mother’s cell’s to complete the chromosomal pairing up that normally happens in the zygote during fertilization. Because of this, the RNA transcribes, ideally, the same exact DNA code that the “mother” has; but here again we get into genetic expression, because though a clone is genetically the same as it’s parent, it is exactly BECAUSE it is genetically identical that recessive (and often in the case of  some experimental animals, fatal) traits and gene combinations can occur, depending on exactly how the original, zygotic DNA is copied. Even when using the RNA of the same organism, transcription errors naturally occur -- and they occur so frequently, in fact, that very few cloning attempts are ever successful; that is, they either produce genetically weak, fatal-combination, infertile, or underdeveloped offspring that ultimately can’t be re-cloned or which can not reproduce, and therefore negate the incentive to clone an organism for it’s “healthy genes”. 

Connecting the dots: 

When a demon is cloned, it’s human DNA is cloned; but so are the genetic modifications of the dnavirus, which is why clones seem to have human superpowers. They are no loner 100% genetically human, and that opens the door to all kinds of genetic complications and probably meant that thousands, not hundreds, of clones were “discarded”, and hundreds died before they even lived. Simply put, it’s an absolute bloody miracle that the cloning thing worked at all, much less that Lucifer was able to remotely perfect the technique. 

How he did so is not so much a mystery though; unlike what you would assume, with mammals at least, the more often you re-clone a clone, the “cleaner” it’s genetic code seems to become by phenomena of natural selection and artificial selection; clones with good genes are re-cloned, clones exhibiting bad genes are culled or die on their own, and so on and so on until you get a good sized population of identical clones. With the added fuel of the elixir to make growth happen phenomenally fast, it’s not too surprising that he has a private stock of cloned bodies to inhabit whenever he likes. (Which gave me big Orochimaru vibes, just sayin’). 

As for the RNA virus body, I suspect that is retained with the demon at all times, which makes sense because once and RNA virus stops replicating it’s RNA into the host, the host cells re-fix the “broken” codes and eventually replaces the alien DNA created by the virus with it’s own; however, a dnavirus’ DNA gets worked semi-permanently into the system of it’s host, since it has it’s own completed code which is then, reversedly, transcribed over and over by the host’s RNA transcription, which is why dnaviruses went undetected by science until about 20 years ago, and why, God forbid, if there was ever a pathogenic dnavirus, we would all be royally screwed because even the best immune system on earth can’t detect a dnavirus because our immune systems rely on identification markers dependent on RNA viruses; oddly, however, so does every other organism, meaning there literally is not a single living thing, including caterpillars and spiders who are victims directly of “pathogenic” polydnaviruses, has an immune system that could find the damn things. They utilize the host’s own RNA to transcribe their DNA, and therefore go almost completely undetected by whatever they infect.  

Speaking of which, let’s talk about:

Immunity and Prions

If Demons rely on RNA viruses to primarily infect their host, then it would make sense why some people would be more resistant than others; however, there  is a compelling aspect of demon possession which makes me think that it is the other way around - everyone is resistant, until they are not. 

Demons typically possess bodies which have weak-minded and psychologically stressed individuals behind them. Stress weakens the immune system, but it does so in specific ways; and certain viruses in real life are programmed to take advantage of these specific measures more than others. 

Right now in the US, there is a nasty epidemic of CWD, Chronic Wasting Disease, spreading through native deer populations on the east coast. This “zombie disease” is a virus that infects the nervous system of the deer (along with cattle and sheep) and forms prions - folded proteins that are then replicated, and replicated, and replicated; and like cancer of the brain, they just keep on replicating and replicating, eating up the animal’s energy reserves and drastically impacting their behavior and bodily functions, starting by supressing and outright destroying their immune system. Mad Cow Disease is a more famous example of a prion disease in the same family as CWD, except that those prions migrate; they move into the soft tissues of the animal and make every single part of it impossible to eat without also contracting the prion, which contains the virus; and MCD is not remotely picky about it’s host, since it affects a very basic protein structure. Any and everything from birds to reptiles to humans can be infected by MCD and it is completely fatal. 

My point is, that CWD and MCD both primarily infect animals exhibiting high levels of stress hormones, which is why outbreaks happen primarily during the breeding seasons for these animals. Not only that, but the virus then directly attacks the animal’s immune systems and opens them up to every kind of secondary infection you can imagine. 

However, prion diseases and even just plain old viruses can do the exact opposite as well. HIV is a common virus that kills you by making your immune system hyperresponsive, not by shutting it down; it becomes so responsive, in fact, that it attacks healthy tissues. Prion diseases which affect insects also do this, creating folded proteins in the nervous system of the bug that trigger it’s immune system to continuously flood the body with antibodies until it is just too exhausted to do so, and the insect’s body decays as a result of secondary infection. 

It could be that this is the case of demons as well. Prions would be valuable in affecting the behavior of the host, though not necessary; they would, however, make the ingestion of a possessed person almost guaranteed to infect you, since most viruses just don’t have the defenses on their own to tackle stomach acid, but a prion virus does. 

To recap: 

Demons use DNA and RNA viruses to infect and modify their host to their liking, perhaps using the assistance of prions to aid in endurance and transmissibility. Because of this, cloning is a gamble of “what DNA will I pull out of the box today” since the DNA virus’ DNA, and possibly even any prions, is left behind even after the parasitic demon leaves; however, the RNA virus is inert once it leaves a host body, and therefore is retained by the demon within whatever primitive cells they may carry in their demon hearts, which may be taken from some immutable “form” or body that they possess on the other side of the divide (in Gehenna); these alien forms may be the byproduct of their first ever possession, using, perhaps, horizontal transference to absorb some of the DNA from their first (and possibly even subsequent) host and then re-incorporate it into subsequent hosts, which is how Amaimon would be reptilian in spite of having a mammal body; because he perhaps, first possessed or found genetic favor of a reptile of some kind and “borrowed” the DNA from them via horizontal transference, since it worked for him. This can then be applied in turn to all other demons, or at least demon kings. 

DISCLAIMER:

I spent literally a week researching this stuff, but I am welcome to criticism of my shoddy work. Also, I am in no way saying this is technically right; it’s just a theory after all, and you’re more than welcome to disagree. :)

If anyone wants to add on, feel free. :) I think I’m done for the week. 

A prime real estate purrdicament

Summary: Garrus Vakarian has been through some real weird shit in his life. This one probably tops the scale. Really... it’s a 2 pound cat. Why the hell is he so annoyed? (Pre relationship ME2)

---

Yep. He was in hell alright.

“Hold still, Uncle Al!”

“Sorry, is this easier?”

Garrus felt something in him twitch as he sat there on the couch watching the scene before him. When Shepard had asked him to come help him with something, he should have been suspicious when he requested no armor or weapons as part of the mission.. He had been expecting some sort of intel gathering ,maybe a stakeout. Reality was worse – apparently, babysitting a ten year old human required turian interference in the matter.

Well... she was cute so he could maybe see why. Baby blues were dangerous like that.

His commander, his... well, he didn't really know what to call Shepard at that point besides, well, Shepard. Whatever he was, the human was currently seated on the floor in front of his niece, a small human girl who clearly had no qualms about entering people's personal space like she owned the place. She was in the midst of pulling – no, the translation on his visor clearly said braiding – her uncle's hair, which he didn't seem to mind much.  All the while, she was talking a mile a minute about school. In a weird way, she reminded him of his little sister,except she had more fingers and talked faster.

“Is Spectre bothering you, Uncle Al?”

“No, she's fine. She settled in a few minutes ago.”

Yes... the damn cat had indeed settled in while Shepard was sitting there on the floor, listening to his niece. She had secured a rather... comfortable vantage point in the space created by her namesake's folded legs. With her head against the human's knee, Garrus could hear her vibrating from his space on the couch some yards away.

She was mocking him. She had to be.

He shot her a glare at he watched to make sure she wasn't watching him. “Are cats supposed to make that sound?”

“It's called purring, Mr. Vakarian.” The niece – Kelly – hadn't spoken much to him, probably because he didn't have hair to braid. In her book, that was probably some great  tragedy. Garrus was good on that front. ”Cats make that sound when they're happy.”

Of course she was happy... anyone wold have been happy to be in Shepard's lap.

He struggled to find the words to cover for the ridiculous sensation bubbling up in his gut. “Oh. It sounded like a threat display to me.”

“Huh, really? Dad said he liked the sound.” Kelly didn't even pause as she reached for a bright pink elastic band to finish the braid. Garrus didn't know much about fashion, but even he might question pink and red. Then again, the shoes by the door were neon green and blue, so it wasn't like Shepard cared much about matching colors either. “You're weird, Mr. Vakarian.”

…

Somehow, that was worse than any insult hurled at him by a violent merc trying to kill him. No wonder Shepard had asked him to tag along.

“Remember  your manners, Kelly.” Shepard didn't sound annoyed, though. In fact, he was smiling as she inserted a matching clip into the hair that hung at the sides of his face. “We don't tell turians are weird-”

“To their face. I know, Uncle Al. It's bad for inter-species relations.” She beamed once she was finished. “All done! Though you might have problems getting up because of Spectre.”

Yes, the damn cat had fallen asleep there. Garrus grumbled to himself as he shot it another glare, trying to will it to leave. Honestly, he didn't know why this was annoying him so much – it was a damn cat. It wasn't sentient. He wasn't competing with it for anything...

Anything but a spot in Shepard's lap, that is.

Yes... he had to admit it. He was jealous of a ball of fur. Even he could see how ridiculous that was. But it just looked so damn comfortable laying there, making that weird sound of contentment. It was like the man's lap was made for resting there.

He had to wonder what it would be like to rest his own head there.

The thought made his heart skip a beat. He was lucky the girl's stepfather wasn't there – a fellow turian would have picked up the subvocals he was radiating off instantly. The two humans and damn cat were oblivious to it, which was perhaps his only saving grace. To them, he was just sitting there glaring at a ball of fur that had the gall to take up some of the galaxy's most prime real estate like it owned the damn place.

Not that... he had much claim to it either, but it was the  principle of the matter!

“So, where did you go this time?” Kelly was still sitting, happy as a clam as the humans would put it. Apparently, shellfish could be happy before they were eaten. “See anything cool while you were gone?”

Shepard blanched, and Garrus knew why. Omega wasn't exactly proper discussion topics for the under 18 set, especially if he had to talk about going into the planet's most famous strip club. Even the turian could see why that one was a bad idea, and he barely understood humans some day. He could practically see the human's gears working under that mop of hair as he tried to figure out what to say next.

“Well, uh...”

The front door opened just as he faltered. A human woman stepped in, causing the girl to jump from her seat and make a mad rush to the door. Their duty was over – Anora Shepard-Virius was home at last, just in the nick of time.

Shepard sighed in relief as he closed his eyes. Under his breath, too low for mother and daughter to hear, he muttered “Saved by the older sister.”

He reached down to pet the cat in his lap, but his attention was focused on Garrus. “That would've been a bit awkward, huh?”

“No, I can't imagine why telling a ten year old about Afterlife would be awkward.” Garrus dead-panned in return, eyes fixed on the lump of black fur so clearly enjoying the attention. Her purring was almost maddening, like a bomb about to go off. How did humans enjoy it?

The arrival of Shepard's sister should have been sign for them to get back to the Normandy, but the man made no attempt to move. Instead, he glanced down at the kitten snuggled up against his knee, and he almost looked sad as he patted her on the head. The gesture was so light, so tender, that it made Garrus' insides positively ache with jealousy. Why was that damn cat so lucky?

“You gotta get up, Spectre. Your mom's home.”

The kitten meowed, and eventually had to be pried gently from Shepard's lap to be placed on the couch. She kept sleeping even as the pair made their exit, stopped only by hugs and promises to return as soon as they could with cool stories.

Probably ones that... didn't involve strip clubs, if the look Anora gave her brother was anything to go by.

Garrus was able to breathe a sigh of relief as they stepped out onto the street and started back towards the Normandy. He glanced over briefly at his commander – the human was still wearing the bright pink clip.

“You know, you can probably take that out now.”

“I like it, and it keeps my hair out of my face.” Shepard's tone was matter of fact as they kept walking. “Spectre's getting big, isn't she? She's going to be huge when she's fully grown. Probably won't fit into my lap the next time I see her.”

Good.

The turian shrugged his shoulders in an attempt to play it cool. “Probably for the best. She had you trapped there with those claws. Seems a bit dangerous for a pet.”

He kept walking, eyes on the horizon as he felt his insides squirm. This was stupid. All of it was stupid – he was fighting with a cat, for spirit's sake! Maybe that was the worst part of all – he might have been losing to a 2 pound ball of fluff.

Compared to that and taking another rocket to the face... fire when ready.

Probably thanks to his mood, Garrus hadn't noticed that he was alone. It was only when he noticed the lack of shadow that he turned to see Shepard a few paces back, odd look plastered all over his face. It was a look the turian had seen before, though it was usually when he had some interesting piece of tech he was trying to take apart with those deft fingers.

Oh, did he wonder what else the man could handle well with those hands...

Still. Garrus played it cool. “Problem, Shepard?”

“If I didn't know better, I'd say you were sulking.”

Shepard kept walking, going straight past the turian doing his best to keep a neutral face as his entire body threatened to vibrate out of existence thanks to sheer embarrassment. The human's tone had been light, but his eyes said it all.

He knew. The bastard knew.

“I'm not sulking.” Garrus could practically hear the tone in his voice as he followed behind his commander. “I'm just saying, they seem sharp.”

“So do your teeth but I probably wouldn't mind those either.”

…

Wait. That had to be a translation error.

Garrus tapped his visor frantically with one talon, refreshing his communicator and kicking in the transcript he had installed months ago. Shepard's words read out on screen – the tone suggested he was... suggesting something.

Like the turian's teeth in him.

That time, his mandibles fluttered as he sputtered out, “Excuse me?”

The man stopped to look over his shoulder, blue eyes glinting in the light. “You heard me, Vakarian.”

He started walking again. “Now, come on. Let's get back to the Normandy before Joker leaves us behind.”

… Now, Garrus wasn't totally clear on Alliance or Cerberus regulations, but they probably couldn't leave without the commanding officer. Of course, his brain was a thousand light years away as he fell meekly in step behind the human. The transcript was still on screen, flashing possible cues to what the man had meant.

It was either violent or sexual – that was the general consensus. And he knew Shepard well enough to know he wasn't big on the former. That left the latter and... a lot of things unsaid between them as they kept walking.

Shit. He was going to become that stereotypical turian who fell for his commanding officer, wasn't he? Well, wasn't that just great? And suddenly, Garrus was jealous of that damn cat for a whole other reason as he wallowed in his own misery.

Damn things were lucky they didn't get crushes. Maybe that was the good part about not being sentient.

Kill la Kill Books!

Got a small haul of Kill la Kill books the other day!

SUSHIO CLUB LOVE LOVE KLKL has been a glaring omission from my collection, so when I saw a listing of the book for 3,600 yen—which usually goes for 10,000+ these days—I bought it right away.

And I figured I might as well pick up a few more things while I was at it, right? To make the shipping more cost effective?

That’s definitely the only reason.

But anyway, my growing mass of Kill la Kill books and magazines has now reached 36 items.

And I’ve talked about some of this merch before; you can find my post about the Febri volume 21 issue here, my post about Fractal 10 here, my post about the Talking About Composite books, The Complete Script Book, and The Art of KLK Vol. 3 here (and I have a whole tag for the script book, #klk-script-book), and I yammer on about the nine Blu-ray key art collection and artboard books here. I also have several essays discussing the official manga adaptation: 

Kill la Kill Manga Chapter 7

Kill la Kill Manga Volume 3, Chapters 8-17: Thoughts and Impressions

Kill la Kill Manga Volume 3: Translation Notes, Anime Differences

Kill la Kill Manga Volume 3: Worth it?

Manga Differences

And now, I wanna briefly (lol) yap about the six new additions to my collection.

Because I have a lot of love in my heart for this ridiculous, ridiculous anime.

SUSHIO CLUB LOVE LOVE KLKL

So, I got this book for cheap because it was allegedly in poor shape and “not suitable for collection.”

(My reaction to “not suitable for collection” is always, “It’s suitable for my garbage collection! I’ll give your ‘ugly’ copies a loving home!”)

But, like? There are a couple of dents and folded corners, but the condition is really not bad at all. The art is completely intact and beautiful.

Sushio—who is the character designer for Kill la Kill—has shared much of this book on his Twitter, and I would definitely recommend fans of the series to scroll through his photos and have a look. There’s such a cute, sweet charm to Sushio’s work, and along with the polished, colored pages from LOVE LOVE that he shares online, he also shares sketches of his own fanart for the series, too.

(Okay, maybe this isn’t exactly the best demonstration of Sushio’s absolutely precious artwork, but. It’s one of my favorites from the book. Ryuko resorting to such wild extremes to be with Senketsu again is just. My heart. Kill la Kill is actually adorable.)

In any case, I don’t think any of the content in LOVE LOVE was new to me, but there’s just really something about having the book in my hands. I know there’s such a strong desire for digital media these days, but call me old-fashioned—there’s nothing quite like holding this art and really seeing every stroke and line in person.

Being able to physically flip through the pages also makes me notice things I didn’t before. For instance, I found myself charmed by the little detail of Barazo, Mako’s father, loving and adoring Sukuyo, Mako’s mother.

I mean, aw? It’s stuff like this that really makes me wish Kill la Kill were a kids’ show (as Sushio himself seemed to want!) Barazo is so much more likeable when there aren’t any signs of his less-than-pleasant behavior and he’s a loving, supportive husband and father.

Seriously!

Another thing I notice from having the book now is the order in which the pages are organized. Like, I couldn’t help but be amused about how Ryuko gets her own page here...

(Smiling for her Starketsu in the sky, right? Just like he asks her to in “Till I Die”?)

...and then the next pages have Satsuki beside Nonon and Mako (and Mataro) beside Ira...

...which strikes me as a bit funny because this isn’t exactly how Sushio organized his Tweets of these images. There, Satsuki was next to Ryuko, Nonon was next to no one, Mako and Mataro were next to Ira, and Uzu was next to Houka:

So, in LOVE LOVE, is Sushio deliberately trying to say something with the changed placement? Especially when it comes to the direction of the ladies’ eyes? 

Yeah???

I kid, I kid.

(But really, it looks much better to give Ryuko her own page and not have Nonon standing next to nobody.)

Also, one of the first things that popped out to me about LOVE LOVE is how Senketsu’s pages are right next to Ryuko’s pages. As they should be.

They belong together, okay?!

And speaking of Senketsu and Ryuko, I remember a comment years back that said you could probably find pics of your OTP with matching expressions in this book.

But, uh. Just compare Senketsu posing to Ryuko posing...

They’re kind of different types of people, lol.

But hey, they do both make cute sneezy faces.

As a final note about my copy of LOVE LOVE, I will say that my only disappointment is that I received the version with print errors. As such, this page of Nui...

...was accidentally printed twice, and I miss out on this page of Nui as a result:

There are also some minor goofs, like Mako’s arm getting cut off by the background here:

But considering I got this beautiful thing for only 3,600 yen, I really can’t complain!

Now I just need Sushiotan 2 to complete my Sushio Kill la Kill doujin collection....

Takepro

This charming little volume is a collection of animator fanart for the show (and other shows). The book includes a short profile for each featured artist, and their big Kill la Kill pieces are—like all titles in Kill la Kill—named after classic Japanese pop songs. You can read and see more about Takepro here.

It’s hard to pick favorites from this doujin because there is so much adorable and wonderful artwork, but I especially love Naoki Takeda’s “ここに幸あり,” or “Here is My Happiness,” named after the song by Yoshitsu Ootsu.

The picture features Ryuko, Mako, and Satsuki sitting together, all having a good time, and there’s just something so sweet about seeing happy Satsuki.

I also found an English translation of the song’s lyrics, courtesy of beast-senior 810:

The storm breaks and the rain falls Thorny as the women's path might be I would still keep on living with you And my happiness is here in the blue sky 

I could not tell anybody of my scars A bird of love that resided in my chest If only I wander about crying and evading A sorrowful night wind will blow through the streets 

I call out your name from the bottom of my heart Who will be awaiting me at the end of the echoes? Snuggle up to you and cheerfully look up to your face And my happiness is here in the white clouds 

Aw. This song is so Satsuki.

And speaking of Satsuki, I can’t get over how cute she and Ryuko look on the cover of this book. Like??

Aw! 

I also am quite fond of a small piece by Syuichi Iseki, which is in a super-deformed style and features Satsuki comforting Nonon after her uniform is destroyed during the Naturals Election. Nonon cries, and Satsuki pats her head. In the background, Ira looks distressed at the display, Houka seems to be deciphering it, and Mako smiles. It’s really, really cute.

Yoshie Endo’s “僕笑っちゃいます,” or “I’m Laughing,” named for the song by Shingo Kazami, is also real cute. It depicts Mataro holding up Guts, who licks his face. It’s another one of those, “I-so-wish-Kill-la-Kill-were-a-kids’-show” kinda pieces....

Hiroyuki Imaishi’s Doujin

Admittedly, I don’t actually know the title of this one, but it’s a very small doujin by Kill la Kill director Hiroyuki Imaishi. There isn’t too much Kill la Kill content, but there are two pages of Ryuko and Satsuki in their respective Kamui, accompanied by some text.

I thought the text might be something about the show, but it seems like it’s actually about Imaishi’s experience working on the show. And... it’s rather sad? He talks about how he’s able to accomplish more now, but he also has to consider a lot more as well, and he doesn’t have the time and energy that he used to. It’s a lot about aging and growing old.

At least, I think that’s what’s being communicated. Here’s a transcription, though:

なんだろう。

初会社役員とか。

昔よりやれることは増えたが考えなきゃいけないことも増えて時間と体力は足りなくなっていく。

年相応とも言える。

だけどいつまでも大人気なく生きていきたいものだ。

One last interesting thing about this doujin is the material it’s made from; it’s different than any other book in my collection. I’m not an artist, so forgive me if I sound totally ignorant here, but the paper reminds me watercolor paper. It definitely took me by surprise!

SL Sketch 3

SL Sketch 3 is a small fan doujin by Buzin. You can find most of the art in this book on their Tumblr!

Sketch 3 is a really fun collection of sketches, and I especially love the cover. I’m so desperate for art where Senketsu is acknowledged as an actual person that I’m just all heart eyes over Ryuko smiling at him here.

March 2014 Newtype

Okay, so this one’s really a magazine, not a book, but wow. I was taken aback by what’s inside!

I’ll definitely have to look at this issue in more depth because there are a bunch of Kill la Kill goodies in here that I didn’t even expect. And I don’t think most of it has been translated at all!

I also realized that I’ve been mixing up my Newtypes and will have to fix my resources page. But on the bright side, there is so much to love about this issue.

Like, the Elite Four Light Novel got reprinted in the Kamui Bansho, but it’s way better here because it has pictures!

I also love how Nonon, out of all the Elite Four, is the only one who stands beside Satsuki in these illustrations.

And I don’t even know what this is (VR or something with Ami Koshimizu, Ryuko’s VA?), but it’s cute and got me smiling:

And Ryo Akizuki, the mangaka for the official Kill la Kill manga, made a small comic about his experience working on the project. I like the little title panel with Ryuko, Senketsu, and Mako a lot:

Plus, there’s a shiny ad for the manga’s second volume, too:

One of the things that most caught my interest, though, is an article about the second opening song for Kill la Kill, GARNiDELiA’s “ambiguous”:

I got so curious about this bit because I’ve heard varying, conflicting information regarding the meaning behind the song’s lyrics. On the one hand, I’ve heard that half of the song is from Ryuko to Senketsu, and the other half is from Satsuki to Ryuko. On the other hand, I’ve heard that the whole song is from Satsuki to Ryuko. But I’ve never found any concrete sources for either of these claims!

So, I was hoping the Newtype article would help, but it’ll take a lot more digging into. Still, briefly looking over the page, I did find this bit: 

そんな私の思いと歌詞が一致しました。 『キルラキル』でいう流子ちゃんと神衣・鮮血の関係に近いかもしれませんね。 

Roughly, it says, “As such, my thoughts about the song agreed with its lyrics. You might say it’s like the relationship between Ryuko and Kamui Senketsu in Kill la Kill.”

I’m not totally sure about the context here—and I admittedly don’t even know the author’s involvement in the making of "ambiguous”—but this article might explain where the Ryuko-and-Senketsu reading of the song came from. It’s definitely something I’d like to delve into more.

Because I really love the Ryuko-and-Senketsu reading of the song, okay, and I’d love some actually official backup for it!

Finally, another favorite part of the Newtype is simply all the art. Takafumi Hori’s spread is particularly great:

(You can find a cleaner image here.)

Just... dang. I wish I got a little poster of this instead of the ones actually included in the Newtype! The artwork is just stunning.

And one of the cutest things about the Newtype is all the fanart from its readers! I particularly love the little Valentine’s Day special; there’s an illustration of Ryuko giving Senketsu chocolate, and there’s also a Ryumako piece, too!

Kill la Kill Storyboard Ep. 01

Finally, one of my favorites from this haul is the Kill la Kill Storyboard Ep. 01. The book was included as a shop bonus for the original Japanese Blu-ray/DVD release, though I was able to win it by itself in an auction. I do think I overpaid a bit, but gosh, it’s a lovely addition to my collection. It’s just really neat to see the production process of an anime in action. I wish there were storyboard books for every episode in the show!

Hiroyuki Imaishi’s storyboards are also just super amusing. Here is a small sampling of some of my faves (because there is so much gold in here, my goodness):

And that’s all for now!

...I guess this really wasn’t so brief at all, huh?

Shocker.