Attention all shoppers, we hope you enjoy shopping with us and I would like to personally inform you of our new policy.
Anyone who is caught putting any food, full drinks, cups or any trash on store shelves will be hunted down and executed with extreme prejudice like the insolent beast they are.
Thank you and please and enjoy shopping experience.
Working in food service is so surreal because like... nothing I do for people is anywhere close to life and death, but some customers absolutely act as though it is. I look a woman dead in the eye and solemnly inform her that unfortunately we are out of oat milk, and I see her heart shatter in front of me, right there at the bakery counter at 8 in the morning. I feel like a handsome TV surgeon informing someone that their beloved fiancée died on the table. He’s gone... I’m so sorry. We lost him. We are out of oat milk
James: it costs nothing to be nice to people
Remus: I work in a restaurant.
Remus: I get tips to be polite to people. I get paid to be nice. Thats it, its not free for anyone else anymore.
Aliens react to customer service voices
Human: ugh, I should quit. The higher-ups are such—
Human, with a business smile: Hello, chief, how can I assist?
Alien: *stares in confusion*
Human: any time, truely! *communicator turns off* ugh, what a prick
Edit because people are becoming insufferable: sure, some other systems other than capitalism are the same, but consider this, you doorknobs, those aren’t the systems we currently live under, so I didn’t feel the need to mention them. Sorry you started making up statements and messages in your mind that weren’t ever in the initial post. Also, “actually, life sucks under every system” isn’t as gotcha an argument as you think.
Edit 2: this was a 10 note personal post for my several followers who would see it about a very specific experience, sorry for not taking into account the entirety of human experience, if you don’t relate, ignoring me is free.
Edit 3: to the people who have basically suggested “have you tried not being mentally ill?” Thanks, totally cured 👍 have you tried not being an ableist jerk?
Edit 4: Do tell me how full of energy you are at 8pm when you get home from a 12 hour shift doing repetitive soul sucking tasks, really, do tell
Sorry, but if a customer is being mean, just plain mean, has a history of being mean and foul and evil, I’m going to gaslight them.
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” I told Clark as he lambasted me for my service. I turned to get his coffee.
“I don’t feel anything,” Clark snarked at my back.
“Oh, it seems like you’re having a lot of unhappy feelings.” I smiled at Clark as I handed him his coffee. “I hope you have a better experience next time!”
“You make it so difficult every time,” Clark said.
“Maybe I won’t next time,” I said. “Do you need your receipt?”
“I’m calling the district manager,” Clark snarled.
“Oh then you’ll definitely want your receipt,” I said, still smiling. “It has my name on it.”
Clark snatched up his coffee and bustled out of the building.
I’m going to find Clark one day. I’m going to find him in the wild and ask him if he’s having a better day yet.