#TWO LITTLE KIDS SPEAKING IN GERMAN. TWO GERMAN CHILDREN. WHAT THE FUCK.
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HAD THE. CRAZIEST INSANE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS AT UNIVERSAL TODAY
#okay. in line for our first ride we notice the couple behind us is british and we're like omg! thats fun. dont hear a lot of british accents#so we like move on. and go to our next ride. and notice behind us there was a group of british teens#and we were like omg! what a fun coincidence. hahahaha. anyways :) and we left and went to our next ride#and as we got to the end we saw this guy arguing about the fact he couldnt bring his backpack onto the ride#so he left to put it in a locker and went. “sorry i cant get on” in. YOU GUESSED IT. A BRITISH ACCENT.#and they had a little kid so we were like OMG. 3 diff british families thats so insane. and like little kids with accents are always so fun#so we leave like. are we on punkd? this is wild. and we go to another ride. No British people around. but.#as we get to like the ride area the door isnt open#so i turn to my friend like should i just open it myself? and i hear. from the family who's going in with us.#'just go ahead and open it love'. SHOCK#DISBELIEF. A FOURTH FUCKING BRITISH FAMILY. COMPLETELY SEPERATE FROM THE OTHER 3. ALL IN A ROW.#we leave in a daze. surely thats just insane. so we go to the other park and get on our first ride. no british people#we think okay. its finally over. go to another ride. still no british people. like i guess the curse is lifted lol!#and as we are walking to our next ride i am physically blocked by this family. and as i go to complain about it what do i hear?#TWO LITTLE KIDS SPEAKING IN GERMAN. TWO GERMAN CHILDREN. WHAT THE FUCK.#i start flipping out because in all my years of living in orlando i have never seen a german tourist. thats crazy.#and after all THAT? MY GOD!#we leave the ride in a daze. and we decide to go on one last ride (a harry potter one)#of course i have the thought like lol. there should be a british family here itd be appropriate#and as we're walking up i see another guy getting told he has to put his backpack in a locker. as a joke i turn to my friend and say#'i cant get on!' in the same accent as that guy from all those rides ago. as a funny reference to ourselves#and as i step closer what do i hear exit this mans mouth? A FUCKING. SCOTTISH ACCENT.#I FELT LIKE I WAS IN A FEVER DREAM. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN#i have NEVER seen so many british people in my entire life. ALL IN ONE DAY.
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There are many things I will never forgive Rick Riordan for but the number 1 (one) thing I will always hold against him is how he treated WWII in the entire series.
To quote the PJO wiki, "[...] World War II, in the books, is described to be a huge fight between the children of Zeus and Poseidon on one side and the children of Hades on the other.
The events of World War II resulted in the pact of the Big Three, because their children were affecting the course of history too much. It was decided more demigod children would be dangerous for the mortal world."
Just. What the fuck. There are so many things that are wrong with this.
There is nothing that he can do to excuse or salvage this. He could rewrite the whole series, I don't give a fuck. This should not have happened in the first place.
I don't care if he wrote the first book in 2005, he was and still is a grown ass man with a high education from what I've read, he has no excuse. WWII has affected millions across the globe with the descendants of all too many families even having to deal with the generational trauma that came from that time period alone AND dealing with heavy deniers of the many atrocities and war crimes that were committed whilst their grandparents and great-grandparents are having hallucinations of all of their traumatic experiences (can you tell i'm speaking from experience?).
Ironically he holds (Ancient) Greece on such a high pedestal, calling it the birthplace of Western Civilisation (it isn't), and yet you can tell he obviously knows very little about the damn country whose culture he's been appropreating for almost two decades now. Making Hades the father of 3 (three) terrible war criminals in the war that, you know, Greece had been and still is greatly affected by to this day. Which is, you know, his fucking home. That he and all the other characters supposedly care about oh so much (I have so many bottled-up negative emotions about these books and absolutely no safe space to let them out, theitsa, you have no idea).
You may think I'm overreacting or taking this too seriously but I honestly couldn't care less. This is not a topic you can just joke about or treat light-heartedly. Yes, it was mentioned as an atrocity in the books, but it was still mainly treated as just "Hehe silly fight between gods! Secret History ooo!~".
Simply saying that WWII was bad is not enough, Rick, it's actually the bare minimum. You need to show it at the very least some respect by not undermining its consequences to simply "This is why we don't have kids anymore!". But you're obviously not ready to hear that yet. It still baffles me that his fans are just now discovering he is not the saint they thought he was. "How could he be a zionist ??" they all ask in unison, meanwhile the signs were all there since 2005 (at the very least).
Anyway, you don't have to answer this ask if you don't feel like it, I understand it can possibly be overwhelming. You're the first person I've seen that's actually not afraid to point out Rick's bullshit despite initially liking his books, and also the fact that you are a Greek educating people on actual Greek culture, so I felt safe sharing my thoughts with you. Thank you for your time! Καλές γιορτές! 💕
You're overreacting, especially when it comes to the World Wars! In ww2 1 in 10 Greeks died in the famine, and almost everyone I know had someone in their family executed or tortured by the Germans/Bulgarians/Italians triple occupation (not to mention getting hurt or killed in battle). These situations traumatized generations of Greeks, but Rick had the immense privilege of not considering this while writing! He treated the wars like they were play-dough for his little cutsy lore, he made our arch-enemies the children of our gods, and he can go to hell for this.
I am here for all the righteous Greek αλάτι, so if you have more thoughts, bring it on!
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anyway, here's my the mysterious benedict society s2e2 — 🧵
"pirates are just doing their jobs" sticky i love you
captain noland's speech just called my english skills a bitch, i legit got every other word T.T
love how constance's go-to cover story is ghosts, i legit have used this joke multiple times
the scene where the society first runs into the girls is so funny like? i'm not a sports girly by any means but the girls are wearing tracksuits that kate mistakes for cricket ones but sticky points out they have 'waterpolo' written on them but also their arm patches have a tetherball??? what sport are we playing? i also just noticed i've never actually seen a modern cricket uniform. i thought we all still dressed like we were in the early 20th century
constance being fulled to do work by the reward of food is so me
virgin canonball asking for permission to speak freely vs chad number two just going for it
me holding canonball: my baby my baby you are my baby
"my job is already in jeopardy. I feel the walls closing in on me" <- me at any minor inconvenience
me looking at the cloud classification (cumulus humilis) in the opening credits: oh sick ghost reference
i finally noticed number two's sequence has a map of luxembourg, place of birth maybe? but then again reynie's has portugal so maybe it's about language proficiency?? if i get number two speaking german or french i will get weak at the knees i swear to god
ms perumal being versed in the sciences but also the humanities is something than can be so special to me <3
is the blueberry the emergency? vote now on your phones
i can't believe they took number two's square! IT'S CLOTH WHAT IS SHE GONNA DO WITH A SQUARE OF FUCKING?! dark craig zeisk release the forbidden extended cut where number two strangles curtain with a 10x10 square of green plaid
how does he know she likes woodworking??? gay recognizes gay? regardless get away from her get a job
curtain talking about the subtlety of the kidnapping just makes me laugh because all i can think about is number two kicking and screaming her little heart out in the back of the taxi
number two, exploding curtain with her mind: "I. don't. want. your. tea."
JACKSON AND JILLSON MY GAY CHILDREN ARE HERE
"thank you for your trust :D" "oh, we don't trust you :|"
i love how kate never thought to knock on the rooms BEFORE trying to pick the lock. proof braincells go to bed sometimes
I AM CONSTANCE AND CONSTANCE IS ME
"healthy distance" i say as i ignore everyone around me
psychic children and now cannibalistic clowns?! this show has everything
the inverness is beautiful
god milligan is in full dad mode i love him he's so stressed
mr benedict immediate noticing the kid and stepping back, i'm fine
simultaneously laughing and retching after jackson and jillson speak in unison everytime
is that how 'devotes' is pronounced? or is it a separated word from 'devotees'?
jillson keeping her highsocks is so cute
"sebastian is from brazil" "brazil"
this actor's eyes and smile are so unsettling, he's so well casted
the houses remind me of eleanor's from the good place, not good
curtain bought actual bookshelves! with actual real books!! sucess!!!
love how, while number two worries about rhonda and milligan, mr benedict worries about the children and instantly knows they will try to come rescue them! none of the adults clocked them that fast. ugh i love him
"sweet suite" love
oh man nine books for nine occupants? wonder if it's symbolic or if i'm just reading (hehe) too much into it
i'm actually kind of scared of ceiling fans, fun fact
oh damn the sugar
as someone with anxiety, i'm formally diagnosing captain noland right now
true friendship illuminates? gay
"you feel too much. it will get us killed" i know she's joking but shut up constance i'm so scared right now! you shut up!
if you ever wondered how i speak english (second language) this scene with the team is exactly it
the way mr benedict rolls his eyes as number two starts on her healthy food talk is so funny. man's hear it a thousand times before
mr benedict's smile dropping so fast after the fit comment is a masterclass in acting. kristen's facial expressions continue to be the best. also find it interesting they changed it to "almost as sweet" in the latam sub
why is number two looking at mr benedict when there's a strange man all up in his face? wrong person number two!
love mr benedict blurting out spanish (half of 'hasta luego') instead of portuguese ('até logo') as sebastian says goodbye
*walter white vo* NOOO KATE NO DON'T LISTEN TO THEM NOOOO YOUR TECHNIQUE IS GONNA BE SHIT THEY ARE NOT REAL POLO PLAYERS KATEEEEE LISTEN TO ME KATEEE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT
"we don't love labels" WE WHO YOU AREEEE FOR YOUR PRIDEEEEE
i like to think rhonda and ms perumal took shifts hearing milligan talk about fatherhood, girly in the back is dead to the world and ms perumal looks on her way to join her
"your faith in me is inspiring, number two, but I'm not an accomplished climber" "just do what i do. pretend you're an angry howler monkey and at the top of the fence is the person who stole your jackfruit" you are so weird and off putting, babygirl
THE WAY NUMBER TWO DOESN'T EVEN LOOK CONCERNED JUST DISAPPOINTED IM LOSING MY MIND ALSKJFHSHGS
SQ!!! MY SON! WHERE IS HE?!
"it's a defensive fence. we're protecting the vibe" ALKSHDGGHAJSDH
"i've tried to acknowledge my part in your pain" NOO NICHOLAS YOU DID NOTHING WRONG
"you are holding onto an outdated view of me" hate to say it but he's right. also what is he speaking like that?
so THAT'S what the tiktok girlies are doing
i'm going to beat the shit out of curtain
constance contrarie i love your brain
"cannonball, what do you know about home equity lines of credit?" save my man
"the greeks were terrible artists." SAY IT
this is censorship! let my girl bully reynie
well rip that married couple
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‘Do you know me?’
@ericbrandonrp
What’s their full name?: Eric Franklin Brandon
When’s their birthday?: April 15th
Where were they born?: Somewhere in Germany
What’s their favourite colour?: Orange, how could I forget it's fucking everywhere.
What’s their favourite perfume/colonge?: Armani?? Can't remember what it's called, but he smells great.
Do they like baths or showers best?: We have both a tub and a shower in our family bathroom, he seems more of a showers person. I've only seen him in the tub when he had one of the kids with him.
How do they sleep?: Spread out like a starfish in bed, he used to be worse. Sometimes he sleeps on his stomach as well.
Do they snore?: ....yes
What’s their favourite flower? If they have one which one?: I don't think he has one. He just remembers to water out green plants sometimes, and with sometimes it's usually never unless Ollie wants to.
Do they drive? If so how’s their driver's license picture?: He does drive, and he looks like a combination of babyface and criminal on his picture.
Do they like reading? If so guess how many books they have: I don't think he's that much of a book guy, most of the books are mine or the kids.
Public or state school?: He went to a state school.
Did they attend university? If so which one and what is their degree?: No university or degree.
Who’s the chef and who’s the taster?: I mostly cook, someone has to keep an eye on the little ones.
Do they like wine? If so Rosé, red or white?: None cause he's allergic to grapes. I can enjoy it on my own.
Beer?: Yes.
Whiskey?: Yes.
Any favourite items of clothes?: He loves his hoodies. He'd wear that with everything if he was allowed.
Anything you like of theirs that makes you smile when they wear it?: I got him a t-shirt when we first started dating, its worn and washed out but it makes me smile when he puts it on.
What do they wear on holiday?: Depends on where we're going. It's usually shorts and a t-shirt.
What do they wear if they’re just around the house?: Sweats usually.
Who’s the holiday planner and who isn’t allowed to hold the passports?: I am thank god. He'd lose them by standing still and breathing. I have all the tickets and I have the passports, he can wear the baby and hold Ollie's reins.
Which type of phone do they have?: Samsung I think, it's Android.
What music do they like? Be specific if you know: Dropkick Murphies? These days it's usually Disney songs and whatever else the kids are into.
Any favourite movie/tv shows?: We haven't watched films that aren't cartoons in a very long time. I have forgotten.
Do you see yourself being with them for a long time?: Yes, I married the man and we have two children. Not planning on leaving him anytime soon.
Do you share a home? If not why not?: I would hope so I mean we have been together for a long time and our name is on the lease.
What quirk do they have that you love?: He speaks a mixture of German and Irish to our little ones. It’s like they have their own secret language, our son Oliver mostly communicate with him like this, when the time comes I’m sure our daughter will to.
Lastly what do you like watching them do?: I love watching him getting ready in the morning.
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It's been about 2 months so I can finally free myself of the second hand awkwardness of my train ride home from the eclipse
So I get on the train back to the East Coast at around 1 a.m. At roughly 2 p.m an obviously Amish family consisting of two young adults who look way too young to be taking care of this many kids, a teenage girl, three kids who look to be around seven, and two infants.
Hoo boy. This is a sixteen hour train trip that would be stretched to eighteen hours after engine trouble.
Predictably, the two babies did not like being in a rickety train and screamed their heads off periodically for the entire ride. I don't fault the babies for screaming, the ride was quite wobbly and rumbly. I was once a screaming baby too.
Predictably, the three 7ish year olds were running around and climbing everything, even trying to climb into the overhead luggage racks. I can't fault the children for this, as I too was a rambunctious child who liked to climb and jump before my knees turned to shite, and were I not a master of zoning out I too would have been quite bored.
What was not predictable was that the Amish couple did nothing to soothe or calm their kids the entire ride. The teenage girl just ignored everything and read books. The most the parents did was if their babies in their laps got a little too shrieky for THEIR comfort they would put their hands over the baby's mouths to muffle it, which predictably did nothing but make the babies more agitated.
Now I could extend sympathies for these young parents. When I say young, I mean twenty year olds at best. Too young to be taking care of this many kids. But in the seventeen hour time span I spent with these people, about two thirds of it was me wracking my brain for the German words to say "madam, please calm your children", and the other third was me wracking my brains for what I know about the Amish and how to say the words more archaic. At one point the seven year old girl looked behind her seat she was climbing on and just stared at me, but I was too sleep deprived to even say hello in any comprehensive language. And I was wearing a mask so my polite smile didn't show, so she just kept staring at me.
Anyway
At some point some European tourists got in. One was a man who looked to be about ten years older than me. Classic tourist vibe, camera around the neck and everything. Anyway as they were boarding the car the father had left his seat and the mother said something in Pennsylvania Dutch, and the camera tourist's eyes light up.
Ugh. 🫠
I wasn't trying to eavesdrop but I had the misfortune of being across the aisle and one row behind the parents and the screaming babies on their laps so it was inevitable that of course my rusty German skills would suddenly work for the first time in like a decade, enough for me to pick up the guy introducing himself auf Deutsch, and I heard him explain he was from Bornholm and could speak German fluently, how were you?
So I don't know off the top of my head when Pennsylvania Dutch linguistically drifted far away from German or vice versa, p sure it's been at least a century and a half. All I know is I had to contend with hearing a few contrite statements in PD and then some confused questions for clarification by the tourist in German before the two of them just stared at each other for like thirty seconds in complete silence before the Dane smiled politely, said "Tschüs!" and hurried away.
I thought about approaching him to explain what the Amish were and about Pennsylvania Dutch, but a) I was so fucking exhausted, 2) wasn't sure if he knew English and my German skills have degraded from my previously conversational level and I can understand more than I can actually say, and 3) I think everyone who experienced what just happened wanted to melt underneath the train tracks and solidify into flattened pennies.
Anyway this in no way involved me but it was so awkward I had to talk about it in therapy later that week lol. Eventually the family got off the train an hour before I did, perhaps predictably in Pennsylvania, and just about everyone in my train car audibly groaned in relief. The Dane had sat down somewhere behind me and I wasn't rude enough to turn and try to find him, so I have no idea if he was still there and groaning in relief too.
Anyway that sucked lmao
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Surviving is one thing but befriending the alt girls? Now thats thriving congrats on the friend acquisition. Oh yeah absolutely thats super cool of your mom. To be so chill. More parents should aspire to be so chill. Birds are just chill dudes who exist & you can see them & its great. Fuck gulls though. They're nice to look at but will be bastards if you have food in some places. Ive been trying to learn german here & there and it is. Something. Mood but for english. Who needs grammer rules fuck em. I dont know polish so i definitely cant say. You probably mentioned it that sounds familiar but dang. Well it at least wont be as bad? My joke answer is gay sex would be less gay than whatever bronya/seele & march/stelle have goin on. My serious answer is that but also that was really well paced & written. Svarog my bro. Love him. Cocolia confrontation had killer music & the interaction with preservation was cool too. Love fire stelle abilities. Mobile is tough but just gotta fuck it we ball through it. Ill definitely have to add rain world to my list. Dredge is like. Lovecraftian horror fishing sim. Its really neat. River city girls is a simple beat em up adventure game where you fight through town doin little quests on your way through the main one. Real fun easy controls & the soundtrack is real good. Please do id love to hear your exploits. Yeah i have work a lot & so does she plus her kids so i dont talk to mine much either. Im getting to the point in star rail where i am catching up like genshin so ill probably log in less on that too unless more story happens or an event catches my eye. After next planet story anyways. Im not far enough in simulated universe to do swarm disaster sadly. Just gotta. Level them characters as usual. Ps5 star rail gave me gepard which he's good but like. I want bronya
YEAH ITS GREAT and thank you!! we have different groups this year and im very happy ab this bc most of the popular girls im scared of that i shared a group with last year are in the other one now. so im chillen. yeah shes VERY epic hehehehe!!!!! love her. YEAH frfr i agree.... ab the gulls as well i almost got Physically Attacked by one when i was on a trip on an island near alicante cos i was hanging out in the sea and went towards a small island not far away from the shore. not knowing there was a gull nest on it. but i took the hint when one started Screaming at me like halfway through. god i am scared of these things. theyre cool but from a safe distance. and ahhh good luck with learning german!! i took 4 years of it in primary school and still dont know a thing. but its a very charming language so maybe when i get a solid hang of spanish, ill revisit it. tho it Is funny to joke with my friends ab how i didnt allow ppl to germanize me. german was mandatory under the nazi occupation and theres this one patriotic song with the lines "nie będzie niemiec pluł nam w twarz / ni dzieci nam germanił" [the german will not spit in our face / nor germanize our children] but these days its often used for jokes ab having to learn the language. and yeah i suppose thats true!! it is what it is. anyway. YEAH i actually agree with both the joking and serious part andkfnjjb ESPECIALLY the cocolia boss fight. GOD that was cool. i honestly dont use fire trailblazer abilities that much but yes she does come in handy. good luck with surviving on mobile o7 also keep me updated if you do end up playing it!!!!!! its unbelievably hard but like. in a good way. OOH BOTH OF THESE SOUND VERY FUN!! speaking of which i have so many games i wanna play..... but i literally just spent around 200zł [a bit under 46 dollars] two days ago [wait im gonna tell you how in a second]. which actually connects to dye update: i redid my hair since it washed off pretty quickly [but ah i look so nice in red] for the very event i ended up spending way too much money on. and yeah fair rn im actually going onto genshin more often than star rail bc the fontaine exploration + catching up on sumeru exploration is just. So fun. havent played swarm disaster yet either...... no time...... i have a Lot of stuff to do for school recently. its been like what. 2 weeks. and we already finished the first chapter from history and were gonna have an exam soon. which im Dreading btw bc for some reason i went for extended history in school despite being physically unable to remember dates. but hey at least extended geography is easy [so far]. so fuck it we ball. anyway ah congrats on getting gepard!!! hes pretty overpowered yeah but i want bronya as well [i say barely ever logging into the game]. which is pretty funny bc i already got 3 5* things on standard in star rail while being like 150 pulls in and they were two claras and GEPARDS LIGHTCONE. which i cant even use on march since i run her in clara teams in which i need the taunt on clara. Lol. but whatever. ANYWAY ABOUT THE EVENT uhhh you Might recall that i went to like a. con-adjacent thing last year. its actually just mainly for buying merch but a Lot of people go in cosplays. anyway i went this year as well and got a bunch of prints [of focalors, fischl, signora, silver wolf, kafka, and miku], and some other stuff [charms of himeko starrail, silver wolf, and kafka, as well as bronya honkaiimpact3rd and kafka pins]. and a very cute choker. so YEAH for the sheer amount of stuff i got id say its a very good price but i still feel bad ab spending so much money in one go sjdkgkgjh
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Encanto history head-canons Bc I can’t imagine a family of basically Gods who had it drilled into their heads since they were young they had to use their gifts to help and service people just hung out when they were alive during two world wars, even if Colombia never sent actual soldiers into battle during either war
In addition to Spanish being their native language, Pepa speaks French, Julieta speaks Italian, Bruno speaks German, and Alma speaks Russian and English. She made them all learn different languages when WW1 broke out and she was concerned about an influx of refugees not being able to speak Spanish that well and she wanted to make sure they were taken care of as well if they found themselves in the Encanto. When WW2 broke out she also made the entire family, in laws and grandchildren included, learn Hebrew for the same (heartbreaking) reason
The worst blizzard in Russian history happened twice. When Napoleon tried to invade, and when Hitler tried to invade. The first time was natural. The second was Pepa sneaking into Russia and forcing herself to imagine her children and husband dead to stop him
The medics could not, for the life of them, figure out how a teenage girl in WW1 and then untrained woman in WW2 was a better nurse then every single trained military surgeon and medic, or how she could bring people back from the brink of death in a matter of minutes (or why she carried around a shit ton of arepas in her pack)
Bruno did his best to share the future and let the Allied leaders know which way the battles would go without letting them know he could tell the future but the first time a general ignored him and got his entire platoon slaughtered, Bruno couldn’t take that amount of guilt and heartache again so he just shared his visions with Julieta and Pepa so they could know when and where they needed to be to help
Camilo wanted to go to Germany with his mother and Tia. He was a shapeshifter, do you know what kind of amazing spy he would make and fuck up different orders? Alma was all for it but Pepa and Felix refused and threatened to cut Abuela out of their and their kids lives if she sent Camilo overseas without their permission
Dolores and Isabela also wanted to help but their parents all agreed they were also too young. When they pointed out the triplets were only 16 when they were sent to help during the first war, they agreed they could come help when they were 16. They considered the fact that VE Day happened 3 months before Isabela turned 16 and 5 months before Dolores turned 16 nothing short of a miracle
You would think 16-18 year old Pepa around a bunch of young good looking GIs would be a recipe for disaster but she had her boyfriend Félix waiting for her at home. It was actually Julieta who fell in love with a Colombian-American GI. She swore up and down she was in love with him until she had to go back home and she realized it was more lust than love
The sheer amount and the content of racy letters Pepa and Félix sent one another when she was overseas, both when she was an older teen and as an adult would have made a whorehouse blush
Pepa and Julieta shared a little apartment in Germany during WW2. One night, three years after Bruno’s disappearance, they got a frantic phone call from a man named ‘Jernando’ who knew way too much about them and their family for it to be a prank, telling them to get out of the apartment and get out !NOW! because the Germans had been getting intel reports that two women who seemed to be supernatural lived there and they were coming for them. Not even an hour after they left, the girls watched, safely from a roof across the street, their apartment being raided by German soldiers
#encanto#encanto headcanons#Encanto thoughts#madrigal triplets#julieta madrigal#pepa madrigal#bruno madrigal#history#ww1 history#ww2 history
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I love your fic recs! Do you have any with Protective!Erik?
Protective! Erik is one of my favourite tropes so I have a TON of fics to share with you. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
Protective! Erik fic recs
Erik Lehnsherr's Guide to Saving the Universe By Meeting Your Soul-Mate and Falling in Love in Less than 72 Hours – madneto, Pangea
Summary: Army Pilot Erik Lehnsherr is just trying to enjoy his day off when a mostly naked person crashes through the roof of his car. Even more alarming, the strange falling naked person—who goes by Charles Xavier when he's not speaking an ancient dead language—brings tidings of the apparent potential end of the world, and begs Erik to help him put a stop to it.
Well. His mother has been nagging at him to go out and meet new people.
In Sound and Silence – endingthemes
Summary: Erik is assigned to care for the special patient in room 301.
How Not To Meet Your Future Boyfriend – ikeracity
Summary: Erik punches Charles in the face the first time they meet. There isn't anywhere their relationship can go from there but up.
Forgotten – FuryRed
Summary: Charles is having a really bad day. Not only has he woken up in the middle of the afternoon with no idea where he is or how he got there, but when he returns home he’s confronted by a stranger with intense eyes, who insists that he knows Charles rather more intimately than Charles remembers…
Thou Shalt Not Eat Stones – valancysnaith
Summary: Two months after Washington, Raven found Erik in a skeevy motel off the Florida interstate.
“They have Charles, Erik,” she said.
The bedframe shrieked. In the bathroom, the showerhead snapped in half and clattered into the tub.
Demoted – JayPendragon
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a detective-specialist with the NYPD Mutant Tactical Unit, ready to help out where his skills are needed. Or he would be, if he and his partner hadn’t been demoted. For the next four months, he is patrolling the Lenox Hill precinct with Azazel – if he doesn’t die of boredom first. One night they are called in to investigate a potential case of domestic violence, yet the tenant assures them he is both alone and unharmed. However, there is something about this Charles Xavier that compels Erik to follow up.
Warning: Sensitive material, domestic abuse and dubious consent
Watch Your Back – swoopswoop
Summary: Bodyguard AU where Erik is overly protective and things aren't as simple as they seem.
If We Met Differently – swoopswoop
Summary: Erik wasn't the only mutant 'taken in' by Shaw, Erik learns this the hard way when a new mutant is dropped into his cell. They manage to escape together, but things aren't all roses after that. Erik has a score to settle and needs to make sure Charles is safe.
The Color of Love (Character Swap Remix) – BadLuckBlueEyes
Summary: Nobody sees in color until they meet their soulmates. When your soulmate dies, your vision returns to black and white. What happens when your soulmate only dies for a few minutes?
Omega Online – miss_aphelion
Summary: Newly imprinted Charles is having trouble dealing with his overly protective alpha—so in desperation he seeks advice in an omega chat room. Emma Frost is more than happy to help, Raven isn't helping at all, and Erik can't stand to be out of touch with Charles for more than five minutes at a time.
Cannot be Contained in Words – wallhaditcoming (uvcatastrophe)
Summary: Crime syndicate head Erik Lehnsherr travels to London on business, where he meets oxford student Charles Xavier. Their liaison spawns into a years long transatlantic affair, kept apart by Erik's work and Charles' studies,which Erik chronicles in photographs. When distance ceases to be an issue after four long years, the overlap between Charles' past and Erik's work create a whole new set of complications.
A Pertinent Reminder – ikeracity, Pangea
Summary: Sometimes it's easy to forget that getting involved in Erik's mob business isn't all fine dining and sex on yachts. There's nothing like taking a couple of bullets to remind Charles of the reality.
Part 3 of the Associates series
A Dangerous Game – ikeracity, pangea
Summary: When a familiar enemy of Erik's returns to the city for some old-fashioned revenge, Charles is sucked deeper into the world of the mob than ever before.
Part 6 of the Associates series
You don’t choose the thug life (except when you do) – Anonymous
Summary: Charles is kidnapped and discovers that Erik, the Alpha he has been dating for the past few months and is head-over-heels for, is not just a wealthy businessman but actually the head of a syndicate.
He is rather unhappy about this discovery and Erik gets an earful for lying to him. Then Charles is kidnapped again and really, he hopes mating Erik won't result in weekly kidnapping because he has a thesis to finish and papers to grade.
Marrying a Mob – Ook
Summary: Charles is a teacher at a very exclusive school. When armed men burst in on the trail of two children, of course he stands up to them and gets hurt. The children are Erik Lehnsherr's children (of course); a "prominent businessman" or, less politely, "mobster".
Erik is grateful to Charles for saving his children's lives at the cost of his kneecap. So very grateful.
Naturally he tries to reward Charles for his actions. Equally naturally, Charles will be having none of that.
Azazel finds the whole thing unspeakably hilarious. Naturally.
Rumor Has It – blueink3
Summary: "Did I hear the doorbell earlier?"
"Yeah, but I'd steer clear if I were you. It seemed a little tense. I don't know what's going on, but there's a kid out there who looks freakily like the prof."
Nearly six months after Cuba, Charles' life is turned upside down for the second time. Though he's slowly learning to adapt to the first, he's not sure he can handle the second. Luckily for him, there are a few people out there more than willing to help.
Forward Momentum – AsYouWish
Summary: Six months after Cuba, Charles and Erik find themselves thrown fifty years into the future, where they meet their older selves, the Avengers, and a world that's very different from their own. Faced with the pieces of their broken relationship, an unparalleled adversary, and dealing with Tony Stark on a daily basis, Charles and Erik do their best to adapt while trying to find a way back home -- and to each other.
Runs in the Family – Anonysquirrel (chibirisuchan)
Summary: Alex knew his own reputation. Hell, he'd started some of his own reputation, because it kept some of the smarter thugs off his back. Everyone knew Alex's reputation. There was no way Hank didn't know his reputation, but he'd brought Alex into a house with some really expensive things and a lot of innocent little kids and his too-friendly, too-harmless dad.
But clearly Hank hadn't told his family anything about Alex, just like he hadn't told Alex anything about his family. At least, not about the brain-breaking parts of his family.
"I didn't know where to start," Hank said, for the dozenth time.
Featuring mpreg!Charles in a Kiss The Cook apron, overprotective!Erik in wet black leather, and baked goods. Lots and lots of baked goods.
Round the Corner Waiting – swoopswoop
Summary: When things go so spectacularly wrong during a relationship, Charles - now a single dad - almost makes a big mistake, only to be stopped by a mysterious man who just might turn his life back around.
Hide Your Fires – swoopswoop
Summary: As the sole heir, Prince Charles, had no problem with the roles and responsibility that would come with ruling a kingdom. Though he was the only one who did not see a problem. After years of being shuttled back and forth between kingdoms, his Regent hoping he would find a match more suitable to being King, he is finally sent to Genosha. Though the path has never been less clear than the one to a foreign kingdom with no ties to his native land.
Shaw’s Captive – swoopswoop
Summary: Magneto killed Shaw, it had to be done for the sake of mutant-kind but what he wasn't expecting to find hidden deep with Shaw's complex was a man held captive, obviously tortured, that somehow made Magneto turn into Erik.
Erik now has a potential human in his citadel as he continues the war with the human's.
Mind’s Eye Blind – Sperare
Summary: As far as Erik is concerned, if you want to scare a person into talking, you have to present him with something more compelling than what he stands to lose...
And there is nothing in the world more compelling than Charles.
Chipped – Rosawyn
Summary: Magneto's fledgling Brotherhood find Charles Xavier in a mutations research lab as an apparently willing subject for an experimental suppression device.
Okay, I Feel Better Now – Harleydoll
Summary: The AU in which Erik is sent to a mental health facility after being convicted for Shaw's murder and pleads insanity, and Charles is his paranoid schizophrenic of a roommate. Powers, Hellfire conspiracies, protective!Erik, and of course the inevitable angst.
Five Nights in Nuremberg – FuryRed
Summary: When Charles escapes from the mutant prison he has been held in for the last two years he knows that he’s going to need help to avoid being recaptured.
What he doesn’t expect is that help will come in the form of a mysterious German man who rescues Charles and takes him to his home; a handsome stranger who, frustratingly, doesn’t speak a single word of English…
Five Bullet Points – Sperare
Summary: It was supposed to be Erik locked away in a prison one hundred stories below the ground.
Charles was never supposed to be there with him.
Notes: Unfinished but an excellent read. Highly recommend it.
Stolen – ishipitsobad
Summary: Erik is a miserable, grumpy, cantankerous bastard, and he has every fucking right to be. He drew the short end of the stick when he got the Underworld as his domain, and there isn't very much fun to be had in judging and governing dead souls who would rather be anywhere else but with Erik in the depths of Hell.
So when he meets Charles, brilliant and lovely Charles who is more popularly known amongst the mortals as Persephone, and feels the promise of something wonderful that could make his eternally doomed existence infinitely more bearable... you can bet all your drachmas Erik's not going to let Charles go any fucking time soon.
My Barbaric Darling – baehj2915
Summary: Erik is revivified caveman. Charles is the anthropologist(?) taking care of him. This is as ridiculous as it sounds. Romcom misunderstandings and prehistoric wooing ensues.
Swimming with Sharks – Not_You
Summary: Erik used to be a shark. Now he's not, and has to figure out how to be a good human father to his twins. Charles is willing to help.
Eucalyptus leaf of my soul - kageillusionz, ourgirlfriday
Summary: Zookeeper Raven at Taronga Zoo keeps having ideas on how to capitalize on interest in the zoo mascots, Koala Charles and Drop Bear Erik (the only drop bear in captivity!), who have captured the hearts and minds of the public. First it was to introduce prospective mates (It’ll generate attention, Hank. People are perverts. They’d love to see koala porn.). This idea was not effective the first through fifth attempts, as Erik and Charles seemed to show at best polite interest in the newcomer before resuming whatever marsupial debate they had going. However, the resulting lesbian koala orgies did indeed generate interest. Then Raven unveiled the Hug-A-Koala program, which was successful, as the public showed great interest in hugging Charles, and Charles seemed to enjoy being hugged.
Then Raven unveiled the Hug-A-Drop Bear program, and Hank, not for the first time, wished he had a flask handy.
Notes: Yes, they’re Koalas, yes they’re adorable, and yes, Erik is super protective even as a Drop Bear.
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Debunking Josh & Karlie’s Reasons to Beard
One of the biggest lies repeated in Gaylor fandom is that Karlie Kloss was ‘basically out’ when she first started modelling as a teenager in 2006. This is absolutely, unequivocally not true. We have not found a single shred of evidence to suggest that she had a reputation for being a fruitcake - and while you might want to believe that’s because she was underage, that did not stop speculation around Kaia Gerber a decade or so later (when it is far more acceptable to be queer).
Karlie’s supposed teenage sweetheart was fellow model Toni Garrn. Now, the only evidence that supports this is this one errant tweet from March 2012 which, frankly, reads more like a joke than actual tea. The woman who posted it, Suvi Koponen Riggs, is a fellow model (who is straight herself or at least in a het relationship currently). She’s also not a first language English speaker, so it’s possible she made a mistake rather than a joke. Either way, Suvi then deleted her tweet, which I think added to speculation around whether or not it was ‘true’. But even the folks over on the L Chat agree with this reading of Torlie. Now the L Chat is a hellhole of transphobia, biphobia, and general ickiness, but is also a hotspot for ardent speculation about celesbians or rumored celesbians (they cover Taylor every which way) and I went there so you don’t have to. Back in 2016, here’s what they said when discussing Karlie’s ‘rumors’. When the folks on the L Chat are questioning lesbian rumors instead of fueling them it’s… 🤷🏻♀️
If you still think Torlie might’ve happened, I’m curious what you’d make of the extremely close friendship these two women have maintained since ‘breaking up’. I’m not going to do the full round up because I don’t care enough about German model Toni Garrn but here’s a photo of them the night Kaylor allegedly met, here’s one of them in 2017, here they are in 2019, and here is Toni at Karlie’s WEDDING. She regularly calls Karlie her wife/husband which is classic straight girl behavior and would be downright psychotic if they had dated at any stage ever.
Prior to Taylor coming into the picture, Karlie Kloss was generally regarded as straight. This is a simple fact.
But Josh wasn’t, right? Wrong. Joshua Kushner had a serious relationship with a Nice Jewish Girl through college and beyond, breaking up only in late 2011 or early 2012. I am sure of this, but will not be giving her name here because she’s not in the public eye beyond being wealthy and she’s married with kids and exposing her to y’all’s possible craziness seems unfair. The point is, she was at all family functions and had the parental stamp of approval - something Karlie would not obtain for many, many years. You’re welcome to do more research on this, but please don’t veer into invasiveness! It’s not cool. We do not condone dark shipping ever - but most especially when non celebs and children are involved.
The only gay rumors we’ve found for Josh sprung up after Kaylor, and the loudest seem to be around his relationship with fellow douchey heir extraordinaire Mikey Hess. The problem is, the two of them have been friends for years and, in fact, the entire Hess and Kushner clans are very friendly (hence Mikey sometimes being at family events - his parents are also fucking there because they’re all friends). The parents get along. The other siblings all get along. This rumor is a little like suggesting Tay dated Abi (she didn’t). This is not to say that you can’t fall in love with your preschool bff, but it’s not exactly a common occurrence.
I’ve also seen people say: “the reason there were no rumors is because Josh and Mikey are not famous” which is completely untrue. There was a lot of gossip about them being entitled, privileged assholes. There was plenty of gossip about them on college forums and such, but let’s consider a couple formal publications... Here is a 2006 article hating on Josh. Here is a 2009 article hating on Josh. Here is an article from 2013 laying into Mikey. They are entitled, privileged, white assholes… And if anyone had believed they were boning, they would’ve definitely discussed it. Some of the Harvard forums that discussed these guys completely bashed them for being coddled assholes and entitled pricks and no one ever, not once, called them gay.
This was well before Hillary Duff made it illegal to use gay as in insult so these gossip forums and/or actual publications would have certainly mentioned gay rumors if there had been any.
And, no, a posed picture of Josh with his arm around a dude is not evidence he’s gay. The fact that people think it is speaks to internalized ideas of toxic masculinity and patriarchy. Straight men are allowed to be affectionate with one another! You don’t have to be Dan fucking Bilzerian in order to be straight. In fact, we want to encourage more caring and affectionate straight men, and fewer Dans!! Ffs.
Anyway, when they met in 2012 neither Karlie, nor Josh, had any reason to seek out a beard.
So here’s what happened next.
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Sweater Weather Roster Description:
(So I probably definitely forgot some things. There’s a lot of complicated matching up that went into this. But, regardless, I wanted to post it, so we’ll fix and add as we go! <3)
James Potter: (Pots, Pothead, Potty)
Position: Left Wing, First Line
Number: 7
Years In The League: 7—drafted, no college.
Previous Teams: None
Description: 25. 6’1”. Dark brown hair, hazel eyes, white. Can usually be seen wearing whatever Lily buys him. Known on the team for being a joker, but also someone you can go to for any reason. Hyper.
Nationality: American. Hometown: Boston, MA.
S/O: Girlfriend, Lily Evans.
Closest to on the team: Sirius Black and Sergei Ivanov, but basically everyone.
Rooms With: No one
Sits with on the bus/plane: Sirius Black
Lives With: Girlfriend Lily Evans
Injury: Multiple concussions
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Putting his contacts in, because he usually wears glasses, gets him really into the game mode. His favorite food is treacle tart, which he had when he took his girlfriend Lily to England—now she makes it for him on his birthday.
Favorite Moment On Team: When he told them that he and Lily were pregnant and they all celebrated.
Superstition: He has to call his girlfriend, Lily, before every game.
Warm Up Song: Eye of the Tiger
What the announcers say when he scores: “Aaaaannndd Potter is wheeling tonight!!”
~
Sirius Black: (Padfoot, Cap, Captain)
Position: Center, First Line
Number: 12
Years In The League: 6—First pick overall, no college.
Previous Teams: None
Description: 24. 6’3”. Black hair, gray eyes, white. Hair gets really fluffy in humidity and it drives him insane. Short hair, curls above his ears. Loves a good backwards hat. One of the strongest on the team.
Nationality: French-Canadian. Hometown: Montreal, Canada.
S/O: Remus Lupin—secret.
Closest to on the team: James Potter and Adam Fox and William LeBlanc
Rooms With: No One
Sits with on the bus/plane: James Potter
Lives With: No one
Injury: Badly broken ankle, one mild concussion
Puck Personality Fun Fact: He had a very hard time coming up with one, so James chose one for him. He pretends to hate the rookies, but will drop literally everything for anything they need. He’s also really bad at taking his pre-game nap.
(Pascal Dumais from the background: “He does not understand household chores!” “Shut up, Dumo!”)
Favorite Moment On Team: His first game after deciding to stand up to his mother about getting a trade. He could finally relax, and enjoy himself. When he scored the first goal, he let his teammates celebrate with him.
Superstition: There are so many. There are too many. Has to go out onto the ice last, has to have a butter and honey toasted sandwich before the game at 5:00 pm, has to do his stretches in a certain order, has to put on and sharpen his left skate first. Cannot even talk about the Cup without freaking out. Will wear the same gross hat until it literally reeks if they’re on a hot streak.
Warm Up Song: Doesn’t really have one.
What the announcers say when he scores: “Seriously!!! That is one serious goal!!” “That Black back-hander will kill a fella!”
~
Finn O’Hara: (Harzy, Fish)
Position: Right Wing
Number: 17
Years In The League: 3. Went to Harvard College.
Previous Teams: None
Description: 23. 6’0’’. Dark red hair, luscious and fluffy. White. Wavy. Light freckles. Brown eyes. Is a single eyebrow raiser. Habit of saluting. More on the slender side of muscle. Is a bit of a worry-wart. Super sarcastic.
Nationality: American. Hometown: New York, New York.
S/O: June Calder—sort of.
Closest to on the team: Logan Tremblay and Leo Knut and Olli Halla
Rooms With: Timmy Jones
Sits with on the bus/plane: Kasey Winter
Lives With: Leo Knut
Injury: Two bad concussions in college.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: He wanted it to be that he’s real fucking good in bed, but it’s that he likes eating grilled cheese with strawberry jam because his older brother, Alexander, used to make it for him all the time when they were kids.
Favorite Moment On Team: Probably that one team dinner where Blizzard got drunk and tried to swim in a fountain. Or when he found out that Logan also got drafted to the Lions the year after him.
Superstition: Has to have a grilled cheese and strawberry jam before every game. Has to tape his own sticks on the bench. Has a handshake with Logan they do before walking down the tunnel.
Warm Up Song: Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani
What the announcers say when he scores: “OOOOOOOO’HARA HOW DARA!! WHAT A GOAL!”
~
Timmy Jones: (Timmers)
Position: Defenseman
Number: 62
Years In The League: 10. Went to Boston University
Previous Teams: New York Islanders
Description: 31. 6’1”. Black hair, braided, reaches his shoulders and he likes to tie it up sometimes, hazel eyes. Black. One of the most popular jerseys because he’s such a crowd pleaser always riling them up and talking to fans through the glass. He’s also one of the biggest Instagram users and is always posting really funny locker room videos.
Nationality: Canadian. Vancouver, Canada.
S/O: Single
Closest to on the team: Olli Halla and William LeBlanc and Thomas Walker
Rooms With: Finn O’Hara
Lives With: Olli Halla
Sits with on the bus/plane: Olli Halla
Injury: Fractured foot a few years ago.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Kasey’s rival for best hair in the league. Famous for his crazy cellys
Favorite Moment On Team: Conference Finals! And when all the boys touch Moody’s leg for good luck.
Superstition: Has a lucky towel that no one is allowed to wash.
Warm Up Song: Where are Ü Now, Jack Ü, Skrillex, Justin Bieber
What the announcers say when he scores: Timmers strikes again!!
~
Olli Halla: (Olli)
Position: Defenseman
Number: 5
Years In The League: 10, Undrafted.
Previous Teams: Winnipeg Jets.
Description: 6’2”. 32. Very, very blonde hair, nearly white. Pale blue eyes. Cute little nose. Cannot grow a beard to save his life. Total baby-face. Is sort of shy and awkward. What a sweetheart.
Nationality: Finish. Hometown: Helsinki, Finland.
S/O: Single.
Closest to on the team: Timmy Jones and Finn O’Hara
Rooms With: Elias Cook
Lives With: Timmy Jones
Sits with on the bus/plane: Timmy Jones
Injury: Concussion, twice. A few bruised ribs.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Wins the pre-game team kick-around almost every time. Brings awareness to charities that contribute to doing research on the brain and brain injuries.
Favorite Moment On Team: When the team welcomed him back from his pretty serious concussion (he missed nearly a year) by all wearing the number 5 out on the ice during warm ups.
Superstition: Wears his cross and says a small prayer after the national anthem. Also has to play in the kick-around.
Warm Up Song: Replay, Iyaz
What the announcers say when he scores: (G)oooooolllliiiii!
~
Brady Smith: (Smitty)
Position: Right Wing
Number: 92
Years In The League: 10. Drafted.
Previous Teams: Washington Capitals
Description: 28, 6’3”. Black hair, blue eyes. Black. The sweetest person you will ever meet in your life. Is adored by all of the hockey wives and girlfriends. Can speak Spanish and (ofc) German. Has a tattoo he has on his back shoulder blade of the Stanley Cup which he won with the Washington Capitals. The cup says his wife and two kid’s names on it with room for more—this man loves his babies.
Nationality: German. Hometown: Berlin, Germany, where his mother is from, but moved to the Boston, MA when he was 15 years old—where his father is from.
S/O: Married to his wife Allison, and they’re expecting their third child. Their first is a boy named Max, their second a boy named Noah.
Closest to on the team: Evgeni Kuznetsov and Jackson Nadeau.
Lives With: His family
Sits with on the bus/plane: Evan Kane
Rooms With: Evan Kane
Injury: Frequently separates his shoulder :(
Puck Personality Fun Fact: He’s part of the Lions’ power play. Is actually a really good tattoo artist and has inked Kris Lavolie and Evgeni Kuznetsov. He gave Kris the date of his daughter’s birth, and he gave Evgeni a tiger on his left bicep.
Favorite Moment On Team: He really loved when Sirius became Captain. He felt a shift in their team’s drive.
Superstition: Has to read the note his son wrote him a few years ago.
Warm Up Song: Anything Drake
What the announcers say when he scores: Braaaddyyy Smith! What a goal!
~
Pascal Dumais: (Dumo)
Position: Center
Number: 9
Years In The League: 24, drafted first overall.
Previous Teams: New York Rangers, Colorado Avalanche.
Description: 41. 6’1’’. Brown hair, cut pretty short but brushes up at the front or superman curl. White. Hazel/green eyes, dark eyelashes and brows. Scruffy beard always. Is the dad of the team. Well tell anyone who asks the hilarious stories of when Sirius lived with him.
Nationality: French Canadian. Hometown: Montreal.
S/O: Celeste Dumais, wife. And four children. Adele (13), Louis (10), Marc (9), and Katie (7).
Closest to on the team: Logan Tremblay and Sergei Ivanov.
Lives With: His wife and four kids—and Logan of course.
Rooms With: No one
Sits with on the bus/plane: No one, he enjoys the peace and quiet (not that anyone gives him any)
Injury: Broken wrist. Bruised ribs. Mild concussion. Lost too many teeth to count.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: The BIGGEST prankster on the team. Loves fine wine.
Favorite Moment On Team: Whenever the crowd chants “Duuummmooooo,” or the first time Sirius smiled.
Superstition: Slaps Sergei’s ass before they walk down the tunnel. No one knows why.
Warm Up Song: Eight Days A Week by The Beatles
What the announcers say when he scores: "Pascal Dumais everybody! One of the oldest in the league—he’s still got it!”
~
Logan Tremblay: (Tremzy, [Finn: Lo])
Position: Right Wing
Number: 10
Years In The League: 2. Went to Harvard College.
Previous Teams: None.
Description: 22. 5’9’’. Dark brown hair, long enough to be wavy and always wearing a snapback. Green eyes. Light freckles. White. Always sinfully tan. Really broad and strong. Those arms and chest muscles damn. Really dark, long eyelashes. Clean shaven. Really loud, always mildly grumpy. Flirts with EVERYTHING.
Nationality: French Canadian. Hometown: Rimouski, Quebec, Canada.
S/O: Single…..
Closest to on the team: Leo Knut, Finn O’Hara, and Pascal Dumais, Thomas Walker.
Lives With: Pascal Dumais
Rooms With: Leo Knut
Sits with on the bus/plane: Leo Knut
Injury: He broke a finger and a foot and frequently has black eyes from fights.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Has a fleur-de-lis necklace that he never takes off. Spends his summers in Nice, France where his mother is from. Bites his nails.
Favorite Moment On Team: Playing with Finn again.
Superstition: Says he isn’t superstitious but he is. Won’t touch the kick-around soccer ball before he decides to play. Has a handshake with Finn they do before walking down the tunnel.
Warm Up Song: Whatever It Takes, Imagine Dragons.
What the announcers say when he scores: “Scooorree!!! Oh, the tremble before Tremblay!”
~
Thomas Walker: (Talker, Walkie-Talkie)
Position: Defenseman —also an enforcer.
Number: 43
Years In The League: 8. University of Wisconsin.
Previous Teams: None.
Description: 30, 6’2”. Short hair, brown eyes, one of the most ripped guys on the team. Black. Pierced ears, usually small gold hoops. Takes them out for play. The Lions organization does a segment with him called Walkie-Talkie where he goes around the locker room and interviews his team mates with funny questions.
Nationality: American. Hometown: Chicago, IL.
S/O: Single
Closest to on the team: Timmy Jones and Adam Fox and Logan Tremblay.
Lives With: No one
Rooms With: Adam Fox.
Sits with on the bus/plane: Anyone who wants to CHAT.
Injury: Broken foot, some broken fingers.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: He got his nickname Talker because he never shuts up on the ice. Starts a lot of fights.
Favorite Moment On Team: When Kasey jumped in the fountain.
Superstition: Needs to take a three minute nap between periods. He puts a towel over his head right in his stall and literally falls asleep for three minutes. (James: it’s fucking weird”)
Warm Up Song: Top hits, just needs the background noise.
What the announcers say when he scores: “Goal!!! He just walks right up there, don’t he?”
~
Sergei Ivanov: (Vans)
Position: Defenseman
Number: 55
Years In The League: 23, Drafted, no college.
Previous Teams: Pittsburgh Penguins, Colorado Avalanche, Vegas Golden Knights.
Description: 40. 5’11”. Light brown-gray hair—was blonde, losing it at the front a little. White. Really stern blue eyes that transform and crinkle when he smiles (but it’s hard to get a real smile out of him, and the boys feel really accomplished when they do).
Nationality: Russian. Hometown: Omsk.
S/O: Anya. They have three daughters: Aleandra (10), Evenlina (8), and Katya (7).
Closest to on the team: Kris Lavolie and Pascal Dumais and James Potter
Lives With: His wife and children.
Rooms With: No one.
Sits with on the bus/plane: Kris Lavolie.
Injury: Shoulder injury
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Loves classical music
Favorite Moment On Team: One of his daughters was born the same night he got his first hat-trick. Some of the team came to the hospital with him.
Superstition: Stops at a Church on his way to the rink everyday for a few quiet moments.
Warm Up Song: He doesn’t have one, he prefers to talk to everyone instead.
What the announcers say when he scores: SERGEI SCORES!
~
Jackson Nadeau: (Nado)
Position: Left Wing
Number: 58
Years In The League: 8. Went to College but didn’t finish.
Previous Teams: Chicago Blackhawks
Description: 26, 6’0”. Dark brown hair, chin length and straight, blue eyes. White. Is very laid back and a big flirt. Has cheek bones that could kill and a very stark scar running down one of them from a skate in the face.
Nationality: French Canadian. Victoria, Canada.
S/O: Single
Closest to on the team: Evgeni Kuznetsov and Brady Smith
Lives With: Evgeni Kuznetsov
Rooms With: Evgeni Kuznetsov
Sits with on the bus/plane: Evgeni Kuznetsov
Injury: Skate to the face, other minor things.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Rival with Evgeni for most pick ups on the team. Has many tattoos—one full sleeve, working on the other.
Favorite Moment On Team: Probably when Evgeni got traded, he found his best friend.
Superstition: Has a handshake with Evgeni.
Warm Up Song: He won’t tell you up front but Hamilton.
What the announcers say when he scores: Rapidly repeating “Nadeau, Nadeau, Nadeau!!!”
~
Evgeni Kuznetsov: (Kuny)
Position: Center. Enforcer.
Number: 86
Years In The League: 10. Drafted.
Previous Teams: Anaheim Ducks, Calgary Flames, Buffalo Sabres.
Description: 27. 6’4”. Short cropped light brown hair and puppy-dog brown eyes. Has a slightly chipped front left tooth. White. Very heavy Russian accent, doesn’t speak perfect English and uses this fact to get out of interviews. Is very charming. Literally a giant.
Nationality: Russian. Magnitogorsk, Russia.
S/O: Single and ready to mingle—or already does mingle. Excessively.
Closest to on the team: Brady Smith and Jackson Nadeau
Lives With: Jackson Nadeau
Rooms With: Jackson Nadeau
Sits with on the bus/plane: Jackson Nadeau
Injury: Had to have knee surgery.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Will tell you he has the most pick-ups on the team, but it might be Nado. He’s always making jokes in Russian that basically only Sergei and Henrik can understand and Sergei just rolls his eyes while Henrik laughs.
Favorite Moment On Team: He loves team dinners, just hanging out with the guys.
Superstition: Has a handshake with Jackson.
Warm Up Song: BLASTS Russian rap.
What the announcers say when he scores: THE RUSSIAN BEAR STRIKES AGAIN!
~
Evan Kane: (Kaner)
Position: Right Wing
Number: 51
Years In The League: Two. Went to College at Boston University.
Previous Teams: Calgary Flames.
Description: 23. 5’11”. Tan skin with freckles and brown eyes, black, short hair. Hispanic. Super strong and holds lots of team workout records. The brightest smile. Eyebrows on point. Loves to read, was an English major at school.
Nationality: American. Hometown: Boston, MA.
S/O: His girlfriend, Caroline Hall.
Closest to on the team: Brady Smith and Elias Cook, and Leo Knut
Lives With: His girlfriend.
Rooms With: Brady Smith
Sits with on the bus/plane: Brady Smith
Injury: Nothing major up to date.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Wicked fast. One of the fastest in the League.
Favorite Moment On Team: Probably meeting Pascal Dumais. He’s looked up to his playing style for a long time.
Superstition: Tapes his own sticks, sharpens his own skates.
Warm Up Song: Eminem
What the announcers say when he scores: “Yes he Kane!!!”
~
Adam Fox: (Foxy, Sexy)
Position: Defenseman
Number: 32.
Years In The League: 19. Drafted.
Previous Teams: New York Islanders.
Description: 36. 6’2”. White. Light brown hair that pushes up at the front and is shaved close at the sides. Blue eyes that will kill you.
Nationality: American. Hometown: Boston, MA.
S/O: Girlfriend, Lucìa Perez.
Closest to on the team: Thomas Walker and Sirius Black
Lives With: His girlfriend.
Rooms With: Thomas Walker
Sits with on the bus/plane: Elias Cook
Injury: Nothing too serious.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Is constantly made fun of for being the prettiest. Ever.
Favorite Moment On Team: Bringing his girlfriend to her first game.
Superstition: Stretches in a certain order.
Warm Up Song: They boys will tell you it’s SexyBack but it’s actually just heavy metal.
What the announcers say when he scores: “A foxy goal!!”
~
Henrik Sunqvist: (Sunny, Sunshine)
Position: Defenseman
Number: 33
Years In The League: 10. Played in the Swedish league for a while.
Previous Teams: None in the NHL.
Description: 39. 5’11”. Blond hair, cut short, pale blue eyes, white. Warmest smile you’ve ever seen.
Nationality: Swedish. Hometown: Uppsala.
S/O: Linnea Sunqvist, his wife and their daughter and son, Maja (10) and Hugo (11).
Closest to on the team: Evander Bell
Lives With: His wife and family.
Rooms With: No one
Sits with on the bus/plane: Likes to sit alone with a nice audiobook sometimes.
Injury: Nothing major, a few minor concussions
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Almost never fights, but when he does…ouch. Can speak French and Russian.
Favorite Moment On Team: When he gets to morning practice and has coffee with the boys.
Superstition: Has to do a few somersaults in the locker room—we don’t know why.
Warm Up Song: Russian rap—no one knows why/how he knows Russian so well.
What the announcers say when he scores: “The sun is shining on Sunqvist!"
~
Elias Cook: (Cookie, Crock-pot)
Position: Left Wing
Number: 29
Years In The League: 7. Drafted.
Previous Teams: Toronto Maple Leafs
Description: 25. 5’11”. Hazel eyes, Black hair, baby curls so cute we love the curls.
Nationality: Canadian. Toronto.
S/O: Fiancee, Jamie Barrow.
Closest to on the team: Kasey Winter
Lives With: Jamie.
Rooms With: Olli Halla
Sits with on the bus/plane: Adam Fox
Injury:
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Loves spicy food. Once made Sirius cry by daring him to eat some really spicy dish.
Favorite Moment On Team: Listening to ABBA in the locker room.
Superstition: Does a few laps around the hallways. The press love to try to catch him for interviews while he’s doing this.
Warm Up Song: iSpy, KYLE and Lil Yachty
What the announcers say when he scores: “The stove is HOT for Cook tonight!”
~
William LeBlanc: (Bluey)
Position: Center
Number: 44
Years In The League: 3. Drafted.
Previous Teams: SKA Saint Petersburg.
Description: 24 6′1″. Brown hair, wavy, green eyes. White. Goes to Russia during his summers.
Nationality: French Canadian. Sherbrooke.
S/O: Single
Closest to on the team: Tyler Wright, Sirius Black.
Lives With: No one
Rooms With: Kris Lavolie
Sits with on the bus/plane: Tyler Wright
Injury: Concussion.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Never learned Russian well, despite playing in the KHL.
Favorite Moment On Team: When Kasey jumped in the fountain.
Superstition: Has to touch all the boys’ names above their stalls
Warm Up Song: Russian rap.
What the announcers say when he scores: LeGOALLLLL
~
Evander Bell: (Ringer)
Position: Right Wing
Number: 21
Years In The League: 15. Drafted.
Previous Teams: Bruins, Red Wings.
Description: 33. 6’3”. Sandy blond hair and brown eyes. White. Pretty shy, but really kind. Laughs really loudly which then makes himself blush.
Nationality: American. Hometown: L.A.
S/O: His fiancee, Emily.
Closest to on the team: Henrik Sunqvist
Lives With: Emily and his son, Xavier.
Rooms With: None
Sits with on the bus/plane: Likes to sit alone, besides joining the card game.
Injury: Broken wrist.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Can play the guitar and the piano. Is one of the team’s biggest You Can Play ambassadors (Pascal and Sergei are the other two most active). Always goes to the Gryffindor pride parade.
Favorite Moment On Team: The entire locker room singing We Are Never Getting Back Together. Beginning to see hearts on the glass at the team’s You Can Play Night.
Superstition: Wears the same hat and socks.
Warm Up Song: Taylor Swift.
What the announcers say when he scores: “A dead Ringer from Evander Bell!”
~
Kris Lavolie: (Volley)
Position: Defenseman
Number: 11
Years In The League: 3. Went to University of Michigan.
Previous Teams: None.
Description: 24, 6’1”. Dark hair that’s straight and falls to about his chin, brown eyes. White. Broadly built. Kind and a really good listener.
Nationality: French Canadian. Hometown: Quebec City.
S/O: Single
Closest to on the team: Sergei Ivanov
Lives With: His daughter, Aveline.
Rooms With: William LeBlanc
Sits with on the bus/plane: Sergei Ivanov
Injury: Broken rib.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Kris is a single dad. One of his best friends, Lee, she takes care of his baby girl who is four now while he’s on the road. Sometimes she gets to go stay with Sergei’s family, too. Sergei helps him so much, and he’s thankful for him <3. His daughter’s name is Aveline and he will do ANYTHING for her.
Favorite Moment On Team: Taking his daughter to the Lions’ family skate for the first time.
Superstition: Talk to/call his daughter before every game.
Warm Up Song: XO, Beyoncé
What the announcers say when he scores: “La gooaaaaallll by Lavolie!!”
~
Tyler Wright: (Wrangler)
Position: Defenseman
Number: 8
Years In The League:
Previous Teams:
Description: 27. 6’2”. Hair that is shoulder length, really dark brown. Blue eyes. Square jaw. Has a bit of a temper on the ice, but is a sweetheart otherwise. Ironically doesn’t like fighting.
Nationality: American. Hometown: Minnesota, Minneapolis.
S/O: His girlfriend, Elsa, who lives in Sweden and is a professional football/soccer player.
Closest to on the team: William LeBlanc
Lives With: No one
Rooms With: No one
Sits with on the bus/plane: William LeBlanc
Injury: Nothing serious.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Has four dachshunds named Puck, Deke, Gordie, and Stanley.
Favorite Moment On Team: Like many, when Kasey jumped into that fountain. “It was just so fuckin’ out of character, you know?”
Superstition: Has to participate in the kick around, and has to kick the ball last with his right foot.
Warm Up Song: Royals, Lorde.
What the announcers say when he scores: “Wright in the net!”
~
Kasey Winter: (Kase, Blizzard)
Position: Goalie
Number: 30
Years In The League: 8 years. Drafted, no college.
Previous Teams: New York Rangers.
Description: 26. 6’2’’. Light brown hair down to his shoulders. Known for being the most beautiful hair in the league. Softest brown eyes that psych shooters out. Grows a really gorgeous beard whenever the fuck he wants.
Nationality: Canadian. Home town: Ontario, Canada.
S/O: Girlfriend, Natalie Darcy
Closest to on the team: Elias Cook and Kris Lavolie
Lives With: His girlfriend, Natalie.
Rooms With: No one.
Sits with on the bus/plane: Finn O’Hara
Injury: Torn hamstring.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Will have his girlfriend braid his hair for practice sometimes. (“You can say what you want, but keeps it out of my face. Good old boxer braids. It’s where it’s at.”)
Favorite Moment On Team: When the team got to the Conference Finals seven years ago.
Superstition: Has to do stretches in a certain order.
Warm Up Song: Wasabi by Little Mix (Thanks, Natalie)
What the announcers say when he makes a safe: “The Blizzard is blinding!” “It’s a squall!”
~
Leo Knut: (Nut, Knutty, Peanut, Peanut-butter)
Position: Goalie
Number: 1
Years In The League: His rookie season, so almost one. No college.
Previous Teams: None.
Description: 18. 6’3’’. Dark blond Hair, pretty wavy and falls over his forehead. Blue eyes. Button nose. Blond eyelashes. Cannot grow a beard to save his life.
Nationality: American. Hometown: New Orleans, Louisiana.
S/O: None….;)
Closest to on the team: Logan Tremblay and Finn O’Hara and Evan Kane
Lives With: Finn O’Hara
Rooms With: Logan Tremblay
Sits with on the bus/plane: Logan Tremblay
Injury: Nothing major.
Puck Personality Fun Fact: Has a small gray-streaked patch of hair by the front of his head from hitting his head really hard when he was little.
Favorite Moment On Team: Well, the first moment he felt most at home was when the rest of the boys started imitating his accent. Logan is the worst at it, but he does it the most.
Superstition: Not very superstitious…yet.
Warm Up Song: Violet, Bad Suns and Love On Top by Beyoncé
What the announcers say when he saves a puck: “Another nuts save for Knut!” “We’re nuts about Knut!” “Right in the nuts!”
#sweater weather#sweater weather player roster#hockey!au#sirius black#remus lupin#wolfstar au#wolfstar#sirius x remus#remus x sirius#lumosinlove#lumosinlove ocs#lumosinlove oc#Harry Potter fic#Harry Potter au#writing
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Hetalia Family Week: Day 4 - Vacation
Day 4 for @hetafamilyweek. Also cross-posted to my ao3!
I'm sorry it took so long to post this, school started again and I did not have the spoons to focus on this after school. So it might take a bit longer than expected to finish this. Now, onto the chapter!
I blame @tiredmay
Names:
Willem = Netherlands
Femke = Belgium
Laurent = Luxembourg
Matthew = Canada
Antonio = Spain
Ludwig = Germany
Tw: fire (a building burning down), cursing, an all caps sentence
''Well, I'd say that went well,'' Laurent said. Willem and Femke turned to stare at him.
''What part of this went well?! The hotel is going up in flames, and we're still lost!''
''Eh, small details.''
Willem and Femke looked at each other.
''Lau, did you get possessed or something? Do you even hear yourself?'' Femke asked, incredulously.
''No, wait, I think I missed something. Since when is this a hotel?''
''It's a hotel for parentless children, of course.''
''… I am this close to strangling both of you.'' Willem facepalmed. How on earth did they end up at a burning orphanage on their way to their family vacation? No wait, he knew the answer to that. The three of them were too busy bickering to really notice the map, getting lost as a result. Well. Maybe he should text Mattie to see how they feel about adopting a kid?
''… Maybe we should help?'' Femke said after a moment of silence.
''Fem... As much as I hate to say it, I don't think that's a good idea,'' Willem replied. Seeing his sister's defiant look, he added on, ''We're not trained firefighters, and if we go in without any kind of fire-resistant clothes and walk out alive, without any lasting injuries, how're we going to explain that?''
His sister sighed frustratedly, rubbing at her eyes. ''You're right,'' she said, sounding tired.
''I don’t like it any more than you do, Fem, but- Laurent, what the fuck do you think you're doing?''
Laurent was currently running towards the orphanage, despite the clearly panicked protests from the people around them.
''Laurent, get back here!'' Femke shouted, running after him. For fucks sake, did both of his siblings have a death wish? If Ludwig got wind of this, they'd never hear the end of it.
Groaning, he started to walk forward to where his siblings had run off into the building. He quickly got stopped by one of the firefighters though, who asked him where the hell he thought he was going. He quickly explained the situation to the best of his abilities (just because he was currently somewhere in Spain, even though they were supposed to be in France, and the fact that he could speak both languages just fine, didn't mean he had to like it, or even pretend to be good at it. Fuck you, Antonio. And before you ask, yes he knows how petty he's being. Let him have his fun).
Suffice to say, he didn't get past the firefighter. Not that he needed to, because to the shock of everyone else, his siblings came out of the orphanage, a couple of kids huddled around them. All of them were miraculously unharmed. And naturally, Femke and Laurent were bickering. He could already feel a headache forming. Ludwig was not going to be amused.
---
Ludwig was not, in fact, amused. Willem got that much as he was woken up at six in the goddamn morning during his vacation by angry German yelling coming through his phone.
''Willem, was zum fick habt ihr euch gedacht, dass ihr in ein brennendes kinderheim reingerannt seid?!''
''Ook een goedemorgen, Ludwig, ja het gaat goed met ons en de kinderen, niemand raakte gewond. En vraag dat maar aan Femke en Laurent, zij zijn namelijk degenen die het brandende weeshuis in renden.''
Yeah, waking up to angry German yelling really was not his ideal wake-up call, but what're you going do about it. Oh right. Pressing the red button, Willem effectively ended the call. Then, he sent a text to his cousin.
'Call me back at a more reasonable time, you heathen.'
Ignoring all other incoming calls, he put his phone down and went back to bed, hoping to catch some sleep before his gremlin siblings decided to wake him up for breakfast.
---
A stressful day later, they arrived at their intended location. After Ludwig had called him back and chewed out all three of them, they decided to leave as soon as possible, before any of the people that were there at the orphanage came looking for them.
Currently, they were enjoying the sunset while lounging on the beach, nursing a drink. Suddenly, Femke sighed.
''You know... I have a feeling our vacation isn't going to get any more exciting than it’s been so far.''
''Sure, if you can call running into a burning orphanage exiting,'' Willem said. ''Besides, I do not feel like being yelled at by Ludwig again anytime soon.''
Femke only hummed in response.
''I do agree with Willy on this, big sis,'' Laurent said. He was laying on the sand, one hand over his head, the other tracing shapes in the sand. ''I just want to have a relaxing vacation, with no burning orphanages or yelling Germans.'' Willem snorted at that.
''Don’t worry, broertje, no more yelling Ludwigs will be encountered during this trip.''
''Merci Gott.''
''Hey, Lau,'' Femke said conversationally.
''Yeah?''
''Are you just going to lay there for the rest of the evening?''
''Probably, why do you- AAAAAH WAT DE FUCK, DAT ASS KALT!'' Laurens screamed as he jumped up to get away from the cold water. Femke was wheezing, as was Willem.
''You guys are so mean!''
''Thanks, we try.'' Willem was smirking now.
''Aaschlach.''
''Klootzak.''
''Stop it, you two,'' Femke said, rolling her eyes. ''We should head back to the house.''
''Do we have to?''
Femke gave Laurent a deadpan stare at his question. After a few seconds, he sighed. ''Fine. But can we come back tomorrow?''
''Sure.'' She leaned closer to Laurent and said in a stage whisper: ''Perhaps we can even throw Willy in the ocean.'' Her brother gave her a mischievous grin.
''Hey, I heard that!''
Laughing, they took off running towards their house, Willem chasing after them, also grinning. And if Willem caught them and threw them into the ocean? Well, there would be several occasions for revenge.
---------------
Translations:
Willem, was zum fick habt ihr euch gedacht, dass ihr in ein brennendes kinderheim reingerannt seid?! (German) = ''Willem, what the fuck were you guys thinking, running into a burning orphanage like that?!''
Ook een goedemorgen, Ludwig, ja het gaat goed met ons en de kinderen, niemand raakte gewond. En vraag dat maar aan Femke en Laurent, zij zijn namelijk degenen die het brandende weeshuis in renden. (Dutch) = A good morning to you too, Ludwig, yes us and the children are doing fine, no one got hurt. And you can ask Femke and Laurent that, they're the ones that ran into a burning orphanage.
Broertje (Dutch) = little brother
Merci Gott (Luxembourgish) = Thank god
AAAAH WAT DE FUCK, DAT ASS KALT! (Luxembourgish) = AAAAAAH WHAT THE FUCK, THAT’S SO COLD
''Aaschlach'' and ''Klootzak'' = asshole
#hetafamilyweek2021#aph netherlands#aph belgium#aph luxembourg#aph benelux#hws netherlands#hws belgium#hws luxembourg#hws benelux#hetalia#fanfic#fanfiction#somerandomdutchartist#somerandomdutchfangirl#my writing
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Here, I wrote a fluffy fic about our favorite kiddos ruining Veginald’s holiday party. (I’ll also put it on AO3)
Enjoy!
REGINALD THROWS A CHRISTMAS PARTY: IT GOES AS EXPECTED
"Typical," Five spat as he listened to Grace's announcement about the Christmas party. "Dad even knows how to take the fun out of holidays. I'm sure this soiree will be full of big shot politicians or whoever he's trying to schmooze these days."
He turned and started pacing around the room, hands pulling at his hair. "And what do we get to do? We get to perform tricks, like the trained monkeys that we are."
"Hey!" Luther responded. "Five, that's enough. Remember Dad's lecture? About how we need to show good manners at all times? This could be an opportunity for the Umbrella Academy."
Five scoffed and turned away. He was sick of Number One's blind obedience and repetition of Dad's rhetoric.
Apparently, he wasn't the only one. "Opportunity, my ass," muttered Diego. "He just wants to humiliate us."
"Diego! Language." Grace interjected. Once delivering the announcement she had stood calmly, allowing the children the opportunity to speak, but foul language always triggered her circuits.
"You boys are just spoilsports," Allison decried even as her eyes lit up with excitement. "This is going to be so much fun!"
"Really?" Vanya asked with awe. "Are you going to sing a solo, Allison? Gosh, I would be scared to sing in front of so many people."
In reality, Vanya was just praying that she wouldn't be excluded from this event. It's not like performing at a Christmas party required one to be special, right?
"Have you picked out a song, Allison?" Grace asked.
Allison took a breath, and set a smile on her face in contrast to her scowling brothers. "I'm going to sing…'All I Want for Christmas is -" and she pointed at Luther as she belted out the words "Youuuuuuuu'."
Luther turned a shade of crimson and looked away as the other children rolled their eyes simultaneously.
Grace simply nodded. "That sounds lovely, dear." She turned to the cluster of boys slumped on the couch. "Klaus, Ben, do you know what you want to do?" Grace asked. Klaus nodded his head vigorously while Ben shook his side to side fearfully. "Remember children, we need to tell your father tomorrow what you will be performing, so if you don't have a song you want to sing, I suggest you use the rest of this library research period to find one."
"This is stupid," said Diego, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back against the couch cushions.
"We could sing a song together," Luther suggested, and the others immediately scowled. "As a team. How about the '12 Days of Christmas'?"
A collective groan chased its way around the room.
"Luther, if you think I'm singing five golden rings, you've got another thing coming" Five hissed. He knew he had hit the mark when he saw Luther scowl, his face turning even redder.
Before he could reply, Five continued. "Besides, I'm not singing, with you or anybody else. Vanya can play the violin and I'll accompany her on the piano."
Vanya looked over at Five, her eyes wide and hopeful. "Really? You - you mean that?"
"Sure," Five shrugged. "Why not. It's the best shitty option. Pick out what you want - I don't really care. Just find me the sheet music today so I'll have enough time to practice." With that, sat down in one of the library's big oak chairs, pulled the notebook he always carried out of his pocket, and began ignoring his siblings.
"Oh!" Vanya exclaimed. "Oh, thank you, Five! I’ll go pick something right now. Mom?" she turned to Grace. "Do we have sheet music in the library?"
Grace nodded. "Yes dear, I believe we do. Does anyone else want to look at sheet music?"
"I don't need sheet music, I know the words already," Allison said. "And I don't want Five to accompany me, anyway."
"Good, cuz i didn't offer," Five muttered, not looking up.
"I'll accompany you, dear" said Grace. "What did you say you wanted to sing? All I Want for Christmas? Is that by Irving Berlin? He's your father's favorite, you know."
"No, it's by Mariah Carey!" Klaus rolled his eyes and swayed his hips, mimicking Allison's earlier movements lewdly. "All want for Christmas is yooooouuuuu!" Luther's ears turned an additional shade of red.
“Ok, come on, we have to pick something to sing,” Luther says through gritted teeth. “How about ‘White Christmas’?” Diego and Ben both shook their heads vehemently. Now that they knew it was Dad’s favorite, anything by Irving Berlin was off limits.
“Hey we should do something fun. Like, 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer’?” Klaus looked around hopefully, but saw no takers. “Ok, what about ‘Frosty the Snowman’?”
“Klaus, we’re almost eleven. Not six. Let’s quit it with the kids songs.”
Klaus huffed and scowled at his brother. “Well everybody likes ‘Jingle Bells’,” he muttered.
Diego looked up at that, an idea forming in his brain on how to make the best of a bad situation. “Hey! I want to do ‘Jingle Bells’. Ben, you in?"
"Ugh, fine I guess."
"Good. You can sing and I'll do the bells," Diego smirked.
"Damn it, that's not fair Diego!" Ben protested.
"This whole situation is not fair, Ben," Diego said with a shrug. It’s either that or you sing with these idiots." He gestured over to Numbers One and Four.
"Alright, great, ‘Jingle Bells’ it is.” Luther looks around at his team. “That just leaves me and...Klaus?”
Klaus’s eyes lit up and he gave Luther a wicked smile. "Hey, I know what we can do. How about we show off those new dance moves Mom taught us?" He stood up and mimicked waltzing around the room holding an invisible partner.
"I’m not dancing with you, Klaus." It was Luther’s turn to roll his eyes.
"Whyyyyy noooot" Klaus whined, pouting at Luther as he continued twirling.
"What about...Little Drummer Boy?"
"Oh, fucking Christ, no!" Klaus yelled.
"Klaus! Language!" Grace’s smile transformed into the admonishment frown that Klaus was all too familiar with.
"Sorry, Mom," Klaus grumbled. "But Luther has the...stupidest ideas."
"How about -” Luther searched his brain for an idea. “-Silent Night’?"
Klaus rolled his eyes. "Oh, fine. I don’t even care anymore."
“Now that that’s decided, maybe we can get back to ‘Silent Reading Time’” Five muttered again from his chair.
The show went off....well no one would say without a hitch. But it went off just the same.
Allison insisted on going first (of course) and while her exuberance embraced the spirit of the holidays, her propensity to barely miss the high notes while making up for the lacking pitch with excessive volume was more than enough to put a small crease between Reginald’s eyes.
Sir Hargreeves seemed to relax slightly (as much as relax was a verb that could be used to describe the uptight host) as Five and Vanya went next, playing a passable rendition of ‘Greensleeves’. Reginald was pleased to see that Number Five managed to smile and look relatively charming (if one didn't look too closely at the sarcasm buried beneath the smile). He didn’t notice that Vanya was as red as a beet because he didn’t look at Number Seven at all.
Numbers Two and Six (an odd pairing, thought Reginald absently) entered the stage area next. As Grace began playing the lively tune, Diego produced a set of sleighbells and began ringing them with forced enthusiasm. While his mouth moved at the appropriate times, it became quickly apparent that the only vocal sound was coming from Ben, a sound which grew quieter and quieter until it disappeared completely by the third verse, leaving Grace’s piano notes and Diego’s bell ringing to finish out the song.
Sir Reginald’s frown had returned.
As his guests clapped coolly and politely, he was glad to see the least disappointing child stepped out in front of the piano. Number One’s uniform was crisp, his hair was neat, and he stood with correct posture. Sir Reginald breathed an inaudible sigh of relief.
“Where is Klaus?” Luther whispered out of the corner of his mouth at Diego and Ben as he passed, but they only shrugged.
Well, the show must go on. Luther pasted on his best smile, and nodded to Grace solemnly. And, as rehearsed, he opened his mouth and took a breath just as the instrumental bars of the music led towards the start of the first verse. Luther had practiced those words with Grace relentlessly over the last week, until he could utter them in his sleep. He knew the words backwards and forwards, and even considered singing in the original German (which he spoke fluently).
Alas, Luther never got to utter a single syllable. Just as he opened his mouth, he saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. Klaus stumbled into the ballroom, his disheveled uniform covered by a rich velvet cape that bore a surprising resemblance to a curtain from one of the third floor guest rooms. There was a crown of tinsel jammed on his head crookedly, and several long garlands wrapped around his shoulders and torso.
Luther blew his cue. And the next one. And the one after that, as Grace circled back smoothly for the third time. He was frozen in place in horror at the sight before him.
Klaus appeared to be oblivious to the crowd, oblivious to the beat, but not quite oblivious to Luther as he shot his brother a dastardly wink as he spun past. Half a waltz, half ballet, and half a herb-induced trance, Klaus stumbled, bowed, and spun around for a good fifteen seconds before he finally crashed into one of the Christmas trees, causing it to topple over onto the piano with a tremendous crash.
That snapped Luther out of his trance. A quick look at their father showed barely restrained hostility. Luther was sure that it was only the presence of the many guests, some of which were chuckling politely, others who found a sudden interest in the buffet table, keeping Reginald's temper at bay.
Luther knew he was expected to fix this situation, so he did the only thing he could think of: he walked over to his brother, extracted the flailing mess of limbs from the tree's branches, slung him over his shoulder, and walked as quickly as decorum would allow out of the room.
“And to alllllll, a good night!” Klaus cried out, his voice carrying over the sound of the piano and echoing in the high ceilings of the Academy ballroom.
The other children scrambled to make their exits, trying to be invisible to their father's enraged stare. Ever unflappable, Grace played on, the piano music soothing over the sounds of the disaster children's shoes shuffling over the polished floors.
The children were each made to do seven days of dishes as a punishment.
Luther and Diego both handled their tasks with the usual competitive stoicism of Numbers One and Two.
Allison and Ben grumbled incessantly during their punishment days about how it was all just so unfair.
Vanya offered to do Five’s share. She felt bad, knowing that he didn’t do anything to deserve the punishment.
“Oh, no way.” Five responded with an absent wave. When Vanya made to protest, he continued. “Klaus is going to do them, aren’t you?”
Klaus gave a wide grin.“Oh sure, fine, whatever. It was totally worth it. I mean did you guys see Dad's face? It was as red as Luther’s."
Unsurprisingly, the children were never again invited to Reginald’s annual holiday party.
#veginald hargrapes#tua christmas party#we were just kids#five hargreeves#vanya hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#allison hargreeves#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#grace hargreeves#tua fics#i wrote it
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Foxes children!! Because they don’t get spoken about enough!!
Kevin-
- one son, born after a one night stand when he was around 26
- in the height of his career, he was still reliant on alcohol heavily but the mother (let’s call her sally) said he didn’t have to be involved
- his plan was to slowly clean up his act but still have exy as his main focus, he knew he’d be a shit father and he didn’t want the kid to have to deal with that. Plus the press would never leave that kid alone, the son of a legacy and all that
- the day Jack Andrew Day was born was the best day of Kevin’s life, even if he knew he wasn’t going to be very involved he knew it was better that way
- Andrew pretended to hate the namesake, but he loved it. It was a reminder of all the years Andrew kept Kevin safe, the first person who made Kevin feel as if he was more than the sum of his exy talent
- after Ri*o and the ravens Kevin knew he didn’t know how to be a father, to be a nurturing, kind and patient person. He had never been shown that and he didn’t know how, sure he had Whymack but he only met him when he was 20
- things were fine for a while, the foxes had met Jack a couple times and Kevin was never really alone with him (he didn’t know what to do if he was, babies weren’t around in the nest)
- but then everything changed
- Matt and Dan were visiting with their two year old son when Sally asked if he could watch Jack for the afternoon, to which of course he said yes, dan and Matt were there it was all fine. He couldn’t break or permanently scar the child in one afternoon
-except Sally didn’t come back. Hours turned into days turned into weeks. She was nowhere to be found.
- now Kevin had a baby, a baby he didn’t know what to do with. A baby that was legally his. He saw what the system did to andrew and he’d raise it himself before he let that happen to his son.
- he was also still playing pro, he was living in New York and playing on the team there. Neil and Andrew on his team as well, of course he could go stay with them but what did they know about children
- soon enough dan and Matt had to go back to Virginia, Dan was the couch of a high school exy team and Matt played there professionally
- and Kevin was stuck. He didn’t know what the fuck he was going to do.
- enter Aaron and kaytlyn. Also living in New York and working at the hospital, they happened to have spare time
- enter the rest of the foxes doing whatever they could to make sure this wonderful baby was safe, happy and loved because they had all known what it was like to grow up without those things
- so they all helped, they helped Kevin stop drinking, they took the baby when he had to play and sometimes they’d bring him to the games
- Jack and Kevin became inseparable, it took a while but they made it work. They travelled all over the place and jack himself grew up all around America, with Aaron and Kate in New York, with Andrew and Neil, with Allison in Boston and Renee in Maine, with Dan and Matt in Virgina and sometimes he’d spend summer with Nicky in Germany.
- Jack was always happy, laughing and grew up seeing the absolute best in people. He helped Kevin just as much as Kevin did him. Jack never hid his emotions, he never felt he had to, and for the first time in his life neither did Kevin
- when he was old enough to learn about what happened to the foxes, why they went to Palmetto he cried. They all tried to explain their story to him, they all tried to make it seem not as bad as it was
- for a little while Jack stopped believeing in the good in the world. He stopped believeing that people could be saved and that there was good in everyone. Because these people had hurt his family. They people he loved had been hurt so bad, Jack had to many emotions he didn’t know what to do with
- he was mad he didn’t know, that he had grown up oblivious to all the pain and secrets, he was so sad for the first time in his life.
- but eventually (with the help of all the foxes) he started to see the good again, he started to understand more and in the end he knew it made him a better person
- and now he knew, why uncle Andrew had taught him consent when he was so small (he used it every time, with everyone), he knew why uncle Aaron and Matt touched their arms when they were sad or upset, why Aaron couldn’t be in a locked room and flinched at loud noises, he knew why aunt Dan would always tell him to never be ashamed, he knew why aunt Allison always reminded him they’d love him no matter what, he knew why uncle Nicky made sure he always accepted himself, he knew why aunt Renee taught him about finding the good in people and always trying to be a good person, and he knew why uncle Neil sometimes had his bad days and couldn’t talk to anyone.
- the next time Kevin got that look in his eyes, when he wasn’t quite dad Jack day beside him and asked him if he could hug him. When Kevin said yes, quite confused, Jack hugged him and promised him it would be okay.
- None of the foxes quite understood how they raised a boy that good
- but they did
- when Jack came out to Kevin it was the scariest day of this life. He knew he’d accept him, he knew because uncle Nicky and Andrew and Neil and Renee. Because Kevin loved them all the same. But still he was terrified. How was he supposed to explain it, how was he supposed to tell him he got a boyfriend.
- Jack day came out as pansexual when he was 15, and he cried. He cried when Kevin told him he loved him and Kevin cried too and it was a mess. But that’s okay.
- Now Jack Day date’s. Oh god does he date. He loves people and everything that goes with it, he dates guys girls and everything in between, and he gives everything he has to everyone.
- also he plays exy. He started in little league because he wanted to be just like his dad and found a love for it. He was a captain and a leader just like his uncle Jeremy. He plays striker and when the foxes all get together during holidays back at abbys he and Kevin go head to head. He gives Kevin a goddamn run for his money every. Time.
- he grew to be 6’6 and a half, Aaron and Andrew were outraged
- hes so full of love and hapiness everyone’s so confused, hes Jeremy Knox reincarnated
- he looks exactly like his father
- also he speaks so many languages, French with Kevin and Jean and Neil, english ofc, German with the cousins and Neil, Russian with andriel, and then him and Andrew learnt Bulgarian secretly to fuck with everyone because they are Human Chaos
- also he’s a hufflepuff through and through with his uncle Andrew and gets them matching scarves
- him and Andrew watch crime shows together whenever he stays with them, they’re obsessed
This is so long but I have so many feelings about Jack Day being the sweetest boy ever and helping Kevin heal and AHHH.
There are more ideas about other fox children so I might post those later.
#aftg#kevin day#andrew minyard#neil josten#aaron minyard#matt boyd#dan wilds#renee walker#allison reynolds#all for the game#all for the angst#LET THEM BE HAPPY PLS#jack day is queer 2020
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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN
to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)
LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD
i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol
i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee
i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')
i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol
also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?
now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')
yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌
yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo
speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉
uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?
also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?
HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭
and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.
(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭
SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY
i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)
LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)
LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .
my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL
one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.
superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)
lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good
own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly
rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this
shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire
before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰
(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)
VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)
(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)
now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing
you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)
HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing
once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .
mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔
summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so
IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly
when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌
okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO
but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘
& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')
also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗
READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah
#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily
hiiiiiiiiiii <3333
Dear catherine, 😌
(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰
Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol
Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually
okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?
also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.
There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly
Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good
(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)
I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj
n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)
Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao
Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn
Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.
Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool
Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao
Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???
I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria
(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)
I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧
Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!
Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌
how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰
i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs
AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲
Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼
I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3
.
It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol
oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼
okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭
it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)
THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧
I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼
Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now
I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)
Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭
Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌
also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌
I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)
Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭
So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool
Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)
#lovely anon#<3333333333333#‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS#ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu#ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda#today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*
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Hi- okay so there are these German Harry Potter parody audio books. They’re like classical over here. And I wanted to use some quotes from that with the sfv characters because Idk I thought that’d fit. (They‘re terribly translated by me :) )
There are more of these, idk the three people that look at my post don‘t speak German but imma give credit anyways (bcs that’s the right thing to do lmao)
Coldmirror - YouTube
(https://youtu.be/CIeajBUsZR0
it‘s a reupload. there were copyright issues back then so the og‘s were taken down. But there are many reuploads on YouTube)
Anyway, here you go:
————————
Oskar: Gruftine that‘s not meant as an insult but
Gruftine: If you start the sentence like this it‘ll be an insult you just don‘t want me to get mad at you
Oskar: Yes, anyway-
——
Lady Cryptina: What else do you want to tell the children?
Alerich: uhhm- uhh
*looks down at the floor and watches the dust*
Lady Cryptina: Uh Count von Horrificus
Alerich: y-yes?
Lady: You wanted to say something to the students
Alerich: Oh yeah, dark times have occurred and many weird things are happening. Maybe some of us won‘t make it. Maybe even me or maybe...LADY CRYPTINA-
Lady: *screams out of shock*
Alerich: I‘m pretty sure here‘s someone who has evil on their mind. I don‘t want make rushed desicions but maybe it‘s... LADY CRYPTINA
Lady: *screams* stoop it please!
——
Oskar: *wakes up* Stoker, Stoker, I had night mare, but it felt so real! I think something terrible will happen soon.
Fletcher: Did you dream that a great red bull(*a bull that was red, not the energy drink) drived you seward and were you a unicorn?
Oskar: Uh no-
Fletcher: Then there is no meaning
Oskar: But I think Poli-
Fletcher: NO meaning
———
Fletcher: Do you guys want to hang out and maybe drink some tea
Gruftine: *looks at Oskar with the »totally not« face*
Oskar: Well Fletcher... Of course we‘re coming
Fletcher: nice follow me
*Oskar and Gruftine Walk behind him*
Gruftine: I showed you the »totally not« face
Oskar: Oh really? I thought it was the »Hell yeah, that‘s a great idea« face
Gruftine: No, doing the »Hell yeah, that‘s a great idea« face doesn’t include angry looking and shaking my head
Oskar: Oh- I must have interpreted that wrong
——-
*Nestor as a Substitute*
Nestor: hello kids
All of the kids: *yelling hello very loudly*
Nestor: *flinches* please- say quiet, I don‘t feel very well therefore you‘ll learn independently. You can practice your hypnotic skills QUIETLY or talk QUIET-
Alerich: *yells trough a new adjusted sound system and imitates a school bell* Hey hey here here speaks your favorite Headmaster, Cout von Horricuis you want to know how to how to knit a sweater out of wolffurr? Then come over to my knitting course this after noon? Wooo....
Alerich: doot
Lady Cryptina: No no Alerich You need to press the butt-
Alerich: doot
Lady Cryptina: the Button you need to press it
——
Oskar: Do you want to hang out with me? Are you free tonight
Sunshine: no
Oskar: Are you free tomorrow
Sunshine no
Oskar: Are you free the day after tomorrow
Sunshine: noo
Oskar: When Are you free? I‘m free all the time when are you free?
Sunshine: Wait I‘ll look at my appointments diary *looks trough a coloring book*
Sunshine: No Sorry, I‘m very busy for the... Uh next three years
Oskar: Oh okay... I‘ll just ask you in three years again
——
Fletcher: *outside burning in the sunlight, screaming*
Gruftine: Urgh, Fletcher can’t you burn a little more quiet?
Gruftine: *lifts hand* Professor Oxford, Fletcher‘s screaming way to loud while dying, do something, you are our teacher after all
——
*at the Nosferatu’s*
Oskar: Hey Max, I‘ll stay over for a few weeks I’m sure we’ll have a lot fun
Max: Papa!
Papa Nosferatu: Yes Maxy baby
Max: there there *points at Oskar*
Papa Nosferstu: Yes yes I know, Oskar will live her forehead a few weeks isn’t that great, so you’d have someone to play with over Christmas!
...
*the two are alone again*
Oskar: Well Max you won‘t be able to play any mean tricks on us, I’ll keep my eyes on yo- *gasps* Oh My God you have the Original Camping Van with Camping Barbie and Camping Ken! Can I play with that?! *gasps* you have a kiddie microwave with pling sound. How cool!
——-
Fletcher: Oh no I haven’t done my homework and I won‘t be able to copy them from Tinto in time
Tinto: Even if you did, weren’t allowed to copy my homework-
Fletcher: *whines, ignoring him* What can I dooo~?
——
Professor Oxford: Oskar, come to the desk and tell me what you see on here
Oskar: Damn why is it always me!?
Professor Oxford: Oh well then- Fletcher come over here
Oskar: Damn it why isn’t it me, I already got up!
——
Tinto: *stutters something* Just because I put work into school you think I‘m a nerd
The other kids: yes
Tinto: And you think I‘ll keep letting you copy my homework after this statement
The other kids: yes
Tinto: Do you think my whole life revolves around work
The other kids: yes
Tinto: we’ll it‘s not like you think it is if you think what I think that you think because the thinking of thoughts is-
——-
Oskar: But-
Alerich: *from the sound system again, making school bell noises*
Professor Oxford: Seems like the school bell saved you
Oskar: Whe have a school Bell?
Alerich: *makes school bell noises again before beatboxing*
Alerich: *yells into the microphone way to loud so no one can understand him until the tone fades away*
——
Oskar: Uh- Gruftine
Gruftine: Yes?
Oskar: Since I almost died a few minutes ago I realized something. Something about you
Gruftine: *blushes* Oh- oh? What?
Oskar: I need to ask you something
Grufinte: Y-yeah?
Oskar: Actually I‘m thinking about this the day I first met you. And now I can‘t stop my self anymore
Gruftine: *heavily blushing*
Just ask Oskar
Oskar: Gruftine
Gruftine: Y-yeah?
Oskar: Why aren’t you wearing glasses?
Gruftine: W-what my eyes are perfectly fine, why should I wear glasses?
Oskar: Because you‘re a nerd, You’re always a know it All
Tinto: Yeah you want my glasses? Then it would be the perfect nerd look!
——-
*Ashley and Klot Running from a sea monster*
Ashley: shit we forgot to play it a song to calm it.
Klot: we need something that makes music
Ashley: just sing!
Klar: I Like big booty bitches, big-
——
Tinto: this is a normal triangle
Fletcher: yoo the fuck Einstein not everyone here has an Uni dipoloma
Tinto: But everyone knows-
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Hi if you’re still writing for inglorious basterds could you write how the basterds take care of you when you are pregnant? Or what their jobs would be after the war? Love your writing! 💗
I think they’re very much like what they act like when you’re sick, but here’s all of their after the war jobs!
Aldo Raine
i feel like Aldo would work at a used car place? he gives off MAD good car salesman vibes
he could talk you into buying a weird Austrian car you have never heard of before because “you look like that kind of man. don’t you want to be that kind of man?”
but also not sleezy? he’s good at his job but no way in hell is he sleezy about it
he’s also really good at repairing them and actually turning them into something before selling them again
and also totally understands budgets for families and cars. he never scams anyone
when he does fix up a used car, it doesn’t feel like it’s used, it drives perfectly fine, always smooth, and always looks really nice
he also sells his moonshine and donny’s bar but we don’t talk about that lmao
Donny Donowitz
Donny definitely owns a restaurant and bar but he doesn’t consider that his “real” job
he runs it really well and it’s actually really impressive
he runs the restaurant well but he’s mainly in the bar when he’s at work — not because he’s drinking, but because he’s a fantastic bartender
the whole “can i speak to the manager” is fucking hilarious to him
“This drink doesn’t taste right.”
“What did you order?”
“A Manhattan.”
“That’s what I gave you.”
“Why— can I speak to your manager?”
you’re technically the manager, but you’re the manager of the restaurant, not the bad
“I’m the fucking owner.”
Hugo Stiglitz
i wrote this here (first part of post) and you two own a little General Store together up in Maine
it sells pretty much anything you can think of when you think of a stereotypical General Store
y’all also import little German and Austrian treats from time to time so Hugo can be reminded of home and so he can share it with everyone who comes into the store
he runs the front counter and absolutely LOVES it when a little kid comes up to him with a quarter and asks for a lollipop and some caramels
he also is pretty good at keeping people from shoplifting
it’s actually pretty funny because children aren’t scared of him but teenagers are
Wilhelm Wicki
Wicki is a translator! he helps immigrants from mainly German speaking countries as well as Yiddish/Hebrew speakers become citizens!
he’s really a patient guy and not only teaches them English but he also helps them study for the test
he also helps them with finding jobs and learning different skills
he’s helped some teenagers get into college!
Wicki just likes to help people, so this is really fitting for him to me
there’s a lot of German people in Chicago so he always has work and it makes you really happy to learn that he’s able to help people like that
Smithson Utivich
Utivich is a history professor! his concentration is in European history but he’s educated in a little bit of everything
he’s got a load of books on every subject and time era imaginable
he’s just a history nerd and i love it
the funniest thing to him is when he gets a kinda ignorant kid in his class
“Isn’t it a better time than ever to be Jewish, sir?”
“It has never been a good time to be Jewish, ever.”
he’s educated on religious history and theology as well so he’s ready to come at ANYONE who tries to pose a religious argument to him
Gerold Hirschberg
while Hirschberg’s a messy bastard, i can totally see him making a selling jewelry? like hear me out
he takes a messy uncut gem, sees the beauty underneath it, and turns it into something fantastic? isn’t that what we’ve done with Hirschberg in this fandom?
his favorite thing to make are ear rings. he finds them great to work with and he loves making a pair that doesn’t exactly match but still compliment each other insanely well
he’s an artist in his own manner and you have to understand that
it lets him be creative and show others the beauty of everything in the world and i feel like Hirschberg would be fantastic at doing that and if you don’t agree with me you might be wrong
Omar Ulmer
Omar’s a photographer because let’s be honest, they didn’t make him the fake photographer in Kino for nothing
he mainly gets hired for weddings but he does all kinds of events and portraits
he also does a little bit of videography here and there and he’s really good at it but he keeps it as a hobby for the most part
he has his own dark room in the apartment because you lucked out and got a three bedroom
he works exclusively with black and white film. he got colored one time and absolutely hated it (because he’s colorblind? who knows?)
he owns several different cameras, but his favorite is a small one that he keeps at the apartment for home and family pictures
#inglorious basterds headcanons#inglorious basterds#aldo raine x reader#aldo raine#donny donnowitz x reader#donny donowitz#hugo stiglitz x reader#hugo stiglitz#wilhelm wicki x reader#wilhelm wicki#smithson utivich x reader#smithson utivich#gerold hirschberg x reader#gerold hirschberg#omar ulmer x reader#omar ulmer
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