#THREE separate things that I've written lmao
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Triggers
I love suffering, don't you? Inspired by this art by @sarathrwizard
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Donnie stared at the screen with a slack jaw, eyes glued to the You died! message that had popped up. His latest Minecraft build was absolutely destroyed. He could see the remains in the background of the death screen. He'd been almost finished! Just the last few bits of decoration had been left! And now… hours upon hours of work. Gone in an instant.
A long, frustrated groan escaped him and he tossed the controller to the side, prompting Leo to glance up from his phone and take in the words on the screen, as well.
“Wait,” Leo said. “What happened?”
Donnie pursed his lips. “...Nothing.”
Leo smirked, putting away his phone and leaning closer. “Oooooh it’s embarrassing, isn’t it? Tell me. Tell meeeeeeeee.”
Ugh. Here we go. “Drop it, Nardo.”
“Come on, Don-Tron.” The amusement in his tone made Donnie cluck his tongue, and he pointedly ignored his brother. Leo leaned closer, practically draping himself across Donnie’s right side before he was irritably shoved away, only to start repeating “tell me” over and over, poking Donnie in his side with each utterance of the phrase. Donnie reached for his tech bo just to have something to squeeze that wasn’t Leo’s neck and shot him the nastiest look he could manage. It did nothing whatsoever to deter Leo, though, who was still smirking and poking and being an annoying goddamn menace. “Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, t-”
“Oh would you - Kassinove! Fine!”
Leo sat back, giving Donnie a smile that somehow managed to look both completely innocent and infuriatingly smug at the same time. Donnie sighed and looked at the screen again. You died! still stared back at him. He shook his head, looking anywhere but at Leo, his mouth twisting into a grimace as a noticeable blush crept up his neck. “I was trying to fix the lighting system and… I placed down a block of TNT instead of a block of redstone… and…”
He glanced back at Leo, whose eyes widened. “Wait, so you killed yourself AND blew up your house? With your own TNT?”
“...I forgot it was in my hotbar.”
Leo was still for a moment, and then he burst into hysterical laughter, bending forward and clutching at his stomach. “PFFFFFFFT oh my GOD!”
Donnie just scowled, watching with growing self-consciousness as Leo continued to lose his absolute shit at what was apparently the funniest thing he'd heard all week. He waited for the laughter to die down, but each time he thought it would, Leo suddenly dissolved into renewed giggles once more.
As the laughter dragged, on and on and on, Donnie found himself getting more and more annoyed. He'd put a lot of time and effort into this stupid build. Leo knew that - he'd been hanging out here a lot over the last two weeks, just chilling while Donnie worked, so he'd actually seen most of the progress in real-time.
Donnie heaved an enormous sigh as Leo continued laughing, smacking his knee obnoxiously.
Okay, enough. It wasn’t that funny.
Leo swiped a finger under his eye before wheezing out, “Donnie, that was so dumb of you!”
Donnie bristled, feeling the embarrassment and annoyance spill over. He let out a harsh breath, snarling, “Oh just- wipe that grin off your face!”
A sudden choking sound had ice shooting through Donnie's veins, his irritation instantly disappearing. Leo was still as stone, his expression of mirth replaced by wide-eyed terror. His eyes held a faraway look, and for a long, terrible moment it seemed like he couldn’t quite manage to inhale.
Donnie felt his brows furrow. He reached out but left his hand hovering in the air between them, hesitant. “Leo?”
Leo didn’t answer, but he did finally start to breathe. Short, rasping breaths stuttered out of him, and he blinked rapidly a few times, clutching at the fabric of his hoodie over his chest. Leo was shaking, Donnie realized, and then Leo let out a high-pitched whine and Donnie started to panic.
“Leo, what’s wrong? How can I help?”
He still didn’t answer.
Donnie clenched and unclenched his fists uselessly, floundering. Not wanting to make things worse and unsure what he could do to make things better. He didn’t know what was even - didn’t know what had - maybe a scan would tell him? - but when Donnie lowered his goggles, Leo jerked away from him so hard he fell onto the floor. Donnie watched, horrified, as Leo scrambled backward until his shell hit the wall hard, his eyes never leaving Donnie’s face. His entire body was trembling, little, terrified sounds slipping out of him that made Donnie’s chest tighten and his stomach drop, and now Donnie was really fucking panicking.
He stood and took a step toward Leo, but that made Leo flinch violently again, his hand raising as if to shield himself and his shell making an unpleasant scraping noise as he pressed himself further against the wall. Donnie stayed still. Unsure and panicking and useless useless useless.
An agonized sound clawed out of Leo’s throat. There was a slight shake of his head, his eyes still glued to Donnie, before he started to whimper. “No, no, no. No, I - I escaped from - this isn’t - you’re not real, you’re not-”
A box popped up in the interface of his goggles, pulling Donnie’s focus. NO MEDICAL ANOMALIES IDENTIFIED. PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS CORRELATE WITH EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. PRIMARY CONCLUSION: PANIC ATTACK.
Fuck. Fuck. Okay.
Donnie swallowed and licked his lips, thinking. Should he call Mikey or Raph? Would more people make it worse? What was he supposed to do? He pushed his goggles back up, still trying to think think think, and Leo’s babbling abruptly cut off.
For a long moment, both brothers were frozen. Staring at one another. And then something in Leo’s eyes changed and he took in a sudden, shuddering breath before lowering his arm and clutching at his hoodie again with a trembling hand. He swiped his other hand across his face, and when it dropped he was no longer looking at Donnie. He stared at the floor, his face perfectly, completely blank, and the silence was so, so loud.
Donnie wrung his hands and watched his twin, still afraid to advance. “Leo? Are you-”
“I’m fine,” he said flatly.
That was very much a fucking lie, but before Donnie could say anything Leo pushed himself unsteadily to his feet and stumbled out of the room. Donnie blinked in shock, his mouth hanging open and his brows furrowed. He watched Leo retreat until he disappeared around the corner, then pressed his lips into a thin line.
He should go after him. Right? He should… find out what the fuck just happened. And why. And whether it had happened before.
Donnie sat down, twisting his fingers in his lap and trying to keep his breaths steady. He needed to go talk to Leo. He needed to go talk to Leo. He needed to go talk to Leo.
Why wasn’t he moving?
…Donnie would go to him. He would. He just… needed to do some research first. He needed to be prepared. In case it happened again. Just some research. Some preparation. And then they would… talk.
(Right?)
#I spent both too much time on this and not enough time on this at the same time#YES I SHOULD BE CATCHING UP ON WORK INSTEAD OF WRITING#YES IF I DO WRITE I SHOULD BE WORKING ON LIO#SUE ME#ff#tmnt#rottmnt#raphaelesbian if you read this I'm sure you'll pick up on the second trigger here that I now have used in#[checks notes]#THREE separate things that I've written lmao#don't you just love suffering? i do apparently#i really need to start tagging my fragments with something#my writing#there that'll work lol#IF YOU SEE A TYPO TELL MEEEEE#cleric writes
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i'm thinking about marking pyre complete and moving the second chapter (which chronicles deidara and tori meeting) to the Kusa Incident fic, or else make it a second stand alone fic. i didn't anticipate liking pyre as much as i do as a standalone fdjflh
the second chapter is a fly-by of what deidara does while living as a feral forest child, and then him finding tori. my plan is to have it immediately dove tail into The Kusa Incident. the thing is, now it will be arranged
Deidara POV section
actual incident (three chapters: Tori POV - Kakashi POV - Tori POV)
fallout (i've written a lot of this already -- it's a mix of Itachi & Kakashi's POVs)
in theory these could all be three separate fics but it turns out i don't like having a million works on my page LMAO. so i could combine them all in one weird fic??? or i could split off the Deidara POV one and the kusa fic will be four chapters. idk idk idk
or maybe i will wait until i finish the chapter and see how well it goes with pyre thematically? bc i want to play with deidara having a massive art block related directly the fallout of pyre. so if it matches pyre well enough maybe i'll WANT it as a second chapter
(deidara's art is fueled by his perception that his life is chaos and destruction without meaning. but having an adult understanding of cause/effect of his own trauma changes this view)
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"HIS” – LEE TAEYONG x READER.
summary: taeyong has been in love with the reader ever since kindergarten, but recently, the reader has been infatuated with someone else - his close friend johnny, who is known throughout the school as a notorious fuckboy. taeyong doesn’t believe johnny deserves you, and makes his views clear. is there more to his steeliness? or is he just being an asshole? genre: angst, smut, fluff. pairing: nct lee taeyong x reader; side nct johnny suh x reader.
warnings: mean!jealous yong, fuckboy!dickhead johnny, non-consensual consumption of alcohol (thanks, mark), conflicted reader, reader doesn’t know what she wants, reader fucks both johnny and taeyong, use of the word cunt once or twice, fingering, penetration, swearing, sexual refrences, mentions of incest (they watch game of thrones), angry yong.
a/n: so this is my first nct fic! it’s been a while since i’ve written smut and it’s like, 5k+ of porn lmao (yeah, it took me three days don’t judge meeee). it’s actually very sweet, towards the end. you’ll just have to take my word for it. feedback and comments are appreciated! copyright 2022 under @lemon-boy-stan. i do not allow my works to be copied, translated, or distributed in any form.
Taeyong rolled his eyes. Your jaw gaped open in disbelief as he said, "it's been only five minutes and you've still managed to bring up Johnny. Seriously, Y/N. Do you talk about anything else? Ever since Yuta's party…" another eye-roll.
A hurt expression crept its way onto your face, "I'm sorry. I just really like him. I don't really have anyone else to talk to about these things. I thought you were fine with it; it's okay. So, how's things with Jenny?"
Taeyong sighed now, "no, I'm sorry. You should be able to talk about people you like. And… she's fine, I guess. We broke up. A few days ago, actually. Gosh, has it been that long already?" Taeyong laughed heartlessly. You blinked in shock. "Jesus, Yong," you said softly, "I've been talking so much about my love life we never get to talk about yours. Are you okay? Did… what happened?"
Taeyong shrugged, "nothing all that bad. We just weren't in love anymore. She found someone else, I found…" he looked away, his voice drifting off.
"It's okay, Yongie," you said softly. "You've got me, right? I still love you." you did, and you meant it. You were sure you'd never stop loving him, but you knew it wasn't the kind of love he needed. He looked back at you and grinned, "yeah, I do. So, what did Johnny do now that you're so in love with him?"
And your eyes lit up sven though you blushed sheepishly, "he wore all black today. And he said hi to me." Taeyong chortled loudly, "oh my god, Y/N. You fucking simp." you gave him a seething look, "I'm the simp? You're the one who married me in kindergarten! And don't forget you proposed!" you shoved him lightly and he grinned again.
"Love birds!" shouted a loud, brash voice, "we have arrived!" Mark, Yuta, Haechan, Jaehyun and Johnny made their way over. Taeyong gave Johnny a sour look and took his tray, moving to the other side of the table and putting it down next to yours. Yuta's girlfriend, Rachel, came over to the table and sat down next to him, planting a kiss on his cheek.
"Hi, boys," she said cheerily, "Y/N. Johnny." she regarded the two of you separately, and Johnny curled his lip in that beautiful say he did as the two of you spoke synchronized, "hi Rachel." Yuta didn't appear to notice his girlfriend checking Johnny out. Taeyong did, though. And he scowled.
Mark was seeing how far he could throw wadded-up bits of paper at the other table. Haechan was filming it and snickering. Yuta and Rachel were attached to each other, and Johnny and Jaehyun were talking about a party that was happening on Thursday. It appeared that now Taeyong was ignoring you, and had taken an interest to scowling at Johnny's waterbottle.
Johnny turned to you from his conversation, "Y/N. Want to come over on Thursday?" and your heart flipped before your shoulders slumped. "Ah, sorry, I can't; I'm spending the night at -" and now Taeyong was paying attention again, "at my house." snapping the words, killing all hopes of future group conversations.
Mark snorted before looking down at his phone. Jaehyun closed his mouth awkwardly. Haechan turned back around to face the table. Yuta and Rachel detached themselves from each other. Obviously, there was some sort of feud going on that you didn't know about.
Rachel tutted softly before getting up, "alright, well, there's too much testosterone flying around," she looked at you pointedly, "I'm off. There's only a few minutes to the bell anyway." Yuta pouted, "babe." Rachel shrugged, looking again in your direction. He sighed defeatedly and shrugged.
Johnny scowled at Taeyong, "Jesus, okay man. Didn't know you were so keen to get your -" but Johnny didn't get to finish. Taeyong dove across the table, and Rachel stared in horror, shocked at the sudden outburst. Had the breakup really been that bad? Taeyong was never angry. He hated violence, despised conflict.
Yet still, there he was, gripping Johnny's shirt in his clenched fists. Your Taeyong, who cried in sad movies. Your Taeyong, who got yelled at multiple times to "grow up and be a man". This was not your Taeyong!
Mark sat back, affronted. "Ayo, man." Taeyong looked at him, a fire kindling in his eyes. "Chill the fuck out. People are looking." and it was true. Most of the heads in the cafeteria had turned. Taeyong scoffed, "I don't care." your eyes began to water, "Yongie. Don't." and Taeyong sighed, releasing Johnny. "Fine."
The bell rang, and the heads turned back to their tables, starting new conversations about a topic you were sure they were talking about. Taeyong took his tray and got up, "come on Y/N." you sucked in a breath as Johnny crossed his arms, "so you'll listen to your -" but Jaehyun snapped his head up, "shut up, Johnny." and Johnny scowled.
Mark got up too, "I'll come with you. Better accompany Mr. Angry over here before he decides to beat someone else up." that earned a laugh. Mark always knew how to break the ice. Taeyong glared at him, but at least most of the tension was gone.
Johnny, Jaehyun, Haechan and Yuta walked in the other direction, you were sure you heard Johnny muttering, "fucker must be menstruating or something," as they left.
You were at the hallway when you brought it up softly. You couldn't avoid the topic forever. "Yong…" your voice drifted off, "what was that?" Taeyong huffed steamily, "he's an asshole, that's all." you crossed your arms at this, "no he's not! I don't see what your problem with him is! You're never violent! You just suddenly…" your breath hitched. "Don't cry," snapped Taeyong bluntly, "I just don't think you should date him. He says disgusting things."
Your jaw dropped open again, "excuse me?" Taeyong didn't flinch. "There, I said it. He's an asshole and you shouldn't date him. He'll just break your heart. Haven't you seen the girls he sleeps with? You'll just be another one of his fucks." and the anger spread into your system. Who did he think he was? And that was what you said.
"EXCUSE YOU, LEE TAEYONG! YOU'VE GOT NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHO I CAN AND CAN'T FUCK! YOU'RE NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" you clenched your fists, the fire in your eyes burning as Taeyong's expression turned stony. "You're right," he said coldly, "I'm not. Go on, then. Date him. See what it does to you." then he walked into the classroom and slammed the door.
Your body shook, and you shoved your head into your hands, but Mark caught you. "It's okay, it's okay," he said as you cried, and you realized that it was always Taeyong who comforted you.
Taeyong didn't speak to you for two days, and on Wednesday, the only time he came up to you was to cancel plans for Thursday. "Thursday's off," he spoke in the same cold tone as he had on Monday, "so you can go fuck Johnny if you want. I'm spending the night with Isabel."
The hurt crept into you, "but Thursday's our movie night." Taeyong didn't even so much as move, "I don't care." and you blinked back the tears, looking down. "Okay." someone came up behind you; put his arm around you.
"Come on, Y/N. Let's leave this asshole." oh. Johnny. "Fuck you," spat Taeyong. Johnny grinned, "sorry man. But I'm straight." you couldn't help but giggle softly at his words. Taeyong glared at him.
On Thursday after the bell rang, Johnny and the guys met you at your locker, though your shoulders slumped when you saw that Taeyong wasn’t there. Johnny put his arm around you again, “hey. Want a ride to my house?” and you grinned, “since you’re being so hospitalic.”
Johnny’s house was the same as yours, just a bit flashier and slightly bigger. Taeyong would’ve hated it. He was rich too, but his parents didn’t through around money. It was obvious that Johnny’s did. Taeyong would’ve found something rude to say about Mr. and Mrs. Suh even though they weren’t here. He got like that when he was in a mood.
Mark whistled lowly, “Damn, Johnny. PS5? And you still suck at gaming.” Johnny shrugged, “whatever, man.” he turned to you, “so, this is your movie night. What do you wanna watch?” you shrugged, remembering how you and Taeyong always watched Marvel movies on Thursdays, ever since you were kids.
“I don’t know,” you put on a smile, “whatever’s cool with you guys.” you sat down on the couch. Johnny turned on the TV and scrolled through: Netflix, Hulu, Disney Plus, Stan, Amazon Prime, Foxtel, YouTube and Binge. It seemed to be a trend to have every possible streaming service. Your parents had recently added Hulu to their eight-service streaming collection. They never used it.
“Binge,” murmured Jaehyun, “we should watch Game of Thrones.” like he hadn’t watched it ten times already. Mark grinned, though Haechan put his hands up. “Fuck off man. I’m not watching Game of Thrones; it’s too damn long. Besides, you’ll ruin sweet Y/N’s innocence.”
Johnny snorted, opening Binge. You frowned at Haechan’s words, “why? What’s wrong with Game of Thrones? Isn’t it like the Lord of the Rings?” Mark spat out his drink. Yuta scowled, “oh come on Y/N. Don’t tell me you don’t know that Game of Thrones has -”
“Okay!” shouted Johnny, “Game of Thrones it is.” it started out fine enough, just your average fantasy drama. It was a lot like Harry Potter, actually. And then - “OH MY GOD,” you covered your eyes, “oh my god, is that his sister? Jaehyun, is that his sister?” there was no way of hiding the red colour in your cheeks.
You were too embarrassed. How stupid were you? Mark swatted your hands away, “alright, they’ve stopped now.” you ignored the fact that he was laughing the words. “Why would anyone… THAT’S SO SICK! And they pushed that kid off the building so he wouldn’t see. I hope they die. Who fucks their sister?!” all the guys were laughing, even Haechan.
“Still think it’s like the Lord of the Rings?” grinned Jaehyun. You scowled at him, “no, it’s gross. I don’t wanna watch anymore.” Mark grinned, “it was kinda hot.” your mouth dropped open in horror and you shrieked loudly, grabbing a pillow and smacking him on the head with it. “Mark Lee! Don’t be disgusting!” but all Mark did was laugh, as you attacked him with the pillow.
“I’m being abused!” he screamed from the mountain of pillows, which the guys had helped in piling up, “I’m being abused!” you smacked the Mark-shaped lump with another pillow, “that’s what you get for being disgus - AHH!” someone strong had picked you up and off Mark and the mountain of pillows, lifting you high into the air.
Mark leapt up. “Saved! I have been saved! Come here, Choi Y/N…” but Mark was not fast enough. The person carrying you, Johnny, lifted you up higher and thundered through the house.
“Johnny!” you giggled his name loudly, “put me down!” but Johnny shook his head. You beat your fists on his back but he didn’t even flinch. “Mm,” you thought out loud, “your cologne smells nice.” almost the same as Taeyong’s. “Yeah, I bet,” Johnny grinned.
“Son of a bitch!” yelled Mark, “Johnny Suh, get your ass down here so I can kick your butt!” it appeared that he had stubbed his toe. This only made the laughter come out in tears. Johnny put you back down, “let’s go see what Mark’s gotten himself into now.” you giggled at this, nodding.
Taeyong’s date was not going all that well. Isabel, the girl from his psych class, was so fucking dull. Taeyong kept imagining her to be Y/N, how much more interesting she would be. He wasn’t even listening to Isabel at this point. He might be a bad person, but at least he wasn’t as bad as Johnny.
Jesus Christ, fucking Johnny. What the fuck did Y/N see in him? They’d only known each other for two years. Taeyong knew Y/N his whole life, since they were infants. Johnny was an asshole, a dickhead. He treated girls like toys; messing with their emotions just to fuck them and cross them off his list. What the fuck was happening? Oh yeah. Isabel was making a move.
“Mm, yeah,” murmured Taeyong, only half paying attention, “let’s go up to my room.” Fuck Johnny fuck Johnny fuck Johnny fuck - “fuck, Taeyong!” the girl cried out from beneath him. It was only then did he really see her, all dumb and fucked out, completely helpless and completely his. His, his, his. Gosh, how he wanted it to be Y/N so bad.
But Taeyong kept going. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t stop. Even when he knew that this girl wouldn’t be here tomorrow morning, even though he knew she would leave. He kept going, thrusting inside her throbbing cunt until she let out a gasp of the words, “more, daddy, more.” and something inside Taeyong snapped. He just kept thinking, just keep thinking, how different it would sound if Y/N said it. How whiny, how desperate, how hopeless. “More, Yongie, more.” and he gave her more.
The laughter had finally died down when the pizza arrived. A hawaiian for you and Mark, a meat lovers’ for Jaehyun and Johnny, and a margarita for Haechan and Yuta. Jaehyun scowled at the hawaiian pizza, “pineapple on pizza is gross.” you stuck your tongue out at him, “yeah. And a show where siblings have sex isn’t.” Jaehyun grinned, “touche.”
Johnny turned to you, “hey Y/N. Ever had sex before?” and you scowled at him, “are you dumb. Of course I have.” Johnny shrugged, “ever had good sex?” and Yuta snorted. You blushed at his words, “yeah. I think so.” Mark grinned at this.
“Ever had sex with Taeyong?” said Yuta, as if it was a question that had slipped out that you weren’t supposed to hear. All three boys glared at him. Yuta shrugged, “it’s a legitimate question!” and you blushed, “um, no. Yongie and I are just friends. He doesn’t like me like that.”
And Johnny let out a loud grumble, “oh my god! Could you not talk about Taeyong for five seconds? He isn’t that great. Y/N, where is he now on your special movie Thursday night?” oh, you’d completely forgotten. “On a date,” you tried not to sound so glum about it. Curse you, Nakamoto Yuta! Making you feel conflicted about two boys.
“Thank you!” said Johnny, spreading his arms wide. “That’s right, Y/N. He’s on a date. On your special Thursday movie night. And what are we doing?” you shrugged, “movie night with the guys.” mumbling the words just to prove Johnny’s point; but right now all you could think about was Taeyong.
How sweet he was. How naturally un-mean. How un-asking. How forgiving. How gentle. How rough he would be in bed; because you didn’t have to sleep with him to know that. No, you chided to yourself. Taeyong is mean. He’s an asshole and he’s controlling. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny… “alright.” Mark got up, “come on, guys. Let’s go.” Yuta and Jaehyun grinned, “thanks for the pizza, Johnny.” and Johnny glared at them as they left, though you weren’t sure if it was playful or not.
Now that they were gone, the silly school-girl crush came back, and you almost forgot about Taeyong. Almost. You tapped your knee nervously with your pointer finger. Why were you never this uncomfortable with Taeyong? Why was it always so easy with Taeyong? Maybe it was because you knew he would never leave you.
But now he had. Fuck you, Lee Taeyong! I have Johnny now.
“What’s wrong?” said Johnny, closing the pizza boxes, “you okay?” and you blushed bashfully, “yeah. I just…” you shook your head, “no. It’s silly.” knowing that he would probably laugh at you. Johnny frowned, “no, what is it?” and you blushed again, “you’re really hot, Johnny.” mumbling the words. Johnny grinned, “oh yeah?” you nodded shyly at this, “yeah. And I…” your voice drifted off. “And you what, princess?” oh no. That was it. That word. You could just imagine Taeyong saying it. No! Not Taeyong. Johnny. Johnny. Taeyong. Shit! “And I kinda want you to fuck me.” I kinda want Taeyong to fuck me.
The girl, Isabel, got up after a while, sliding on her dress, which was probably the sluttiest thing Taeyong had ever seen in his life. It was not something that Y/N would wear. Taeyong watched as she looked around the blue-LED-light lit room for something. He frowned from his bed, “need help?” and she shook her head, “no. Can’t find my underwear. Doesn’t matter. I’ve got to go. Physics assessment tomorrow. You can chuck them if you find them. Or keep them. Whatever.”
Johnny had you at his mercy, fingers deep inside your cunt as he thrusted his length into you. He fit just fine, though it was a painful kind of pleasure that he liked to give. "You can take it," he grunted as you mewled beneath him, "come on Y/N. Be a good girl. That's right, sweetheart. Take all that daddy gives you." you'd called him daddy once, and you didn't like how it sounded.
You kept imagining it being Taeyong. You were sure you wouldn't call him daddy. You'd call him something else. It would have the same meaning, just… well, it was completely different.
Taeyong groaned loudly and rolled over in his bed; he'd only bothered to put his boxers back on. He'd thought about bragging to Y/N and the guys about Isabel; the thing she called him. He shook his head. No, that's not the way to win her over. If she even wants me.
Taeyong sighed, clicking on his phone and shutting it back off, the memory of his lockscreen injuring him - their last day of highschool. One of their old friends, Sam, had taken it for them. In the photo, Y/N had stood on her tip-toes to kiss Taeyong on his cheek. He sighed heavily, rolling over into a painful sleep.
You woke in the soft bed with a throbbing headache and aching limbs. What the hell? You looked around the room; you'd never been here before. Oh god. You weren't stupid enough to get your drink spiked, were you? No, no way. The guys always checked first. But you were hungover. That was strange, though, because you didn't remember drinking anything last night.
Think, Y/N, think! What did you do last night? Where were you? Where are you? Well, today is Friday. So it was Thursday yesterday. So... movie night with Taeyong? Fuck. Did you do it with Taeyong? No, that wasn't right. This wasn't his room. There were no blue LED lights, and there was nothing here that was distinctly Taeyong-ish.
This was not Taeyong's room, and this was not your house. Think harder, moron! What were you doing last night? Game of Thrones, said a voice in your head, we were watching Game of Thrones. Did Jaehyun...? No, you'd been in Jaehyun’s room many times. We had pizza, you recalled suddenly, with Yuta, Haechan and Johnny. And Mark brought soda.
And that's when it dawned on you. "MARK LEE!" you screeched through the phone, ignoring his groggy morning voice, "DID YOU PUT ALCOHOL IN THE SODA LAST NIGHT?" and Mark snickered, "soda? Babe, it was straight vodka." you scowled loudly at this, "FUCK YOU!" Mark laughed heartily, "sure. When?" and you grumbled through the reciever, "fuck you, Mark Lee!" slamming the 'end call' button.
You cried out softly in dismay, shoving your head into your hands as you remembered who you'd spent the night with. Johnny Suh, the one guy Taeyong hated.
Johnny was in the kitchen, you saw him through the open crack of your door. He was eating cereal, though there was no way you were staying. Besides, You weren't really a breakfast person anyway. You fished around the room for your clothes - your sweater that was actually Taeyong's (god, were you so filthy that you let Johnny fuck you in your best friend's sweater?), your underwear, socks, shoes and pants. You shot a quick text. "Need help."
Johnny only saw you when you were in the kitchen. "Hey," he spoke so nonchalantly as if he was used to seeing messy girls in the morning (he is, said the voice in your head, Taeyong's voice), "I was wondering when you were gonna get up. I actually have sports class soon but the guys would kill me if I left you." not, "hey, would you like some breakfast?" just, "the guys would kill me." damn right, they would.
You scoffed lightly, "Well, thanks for the night. I've gotta go, too, so... best we don't speak about this?" Johnny merely grinned, "I think they already know. But yeah. Sure." you rolled your eyes, grabbing an apple from the table. "Well... see you." and Johnny grunted softly.
You were at the door when he looked up again, genuinely concerned. "Hey. How are you getting home?" you chided yourself for thinking it, but shouldn't it have been, "do you want a lift home?" he was your friend, after all. You shrugged, "I'll be fine. Taeyong's getting me." Johnny noded, "alright." though you were unsure now, as Johnny turned back to his food. Would he ever come?
It was nine in the morning when Taeyong woke up, his notifications box going of like an alarm. He had fifteen notifications. A request on Instagram. Two messages on Twitter; which he only ever used to preserve memes within his friendship group. Five snaps from his friends.
Six updates from YouTube. And a text from Y/N.
"Need help. @ Johnny's." even though he was worried, Taeyong couldn't help but smile. Who used the @ symbol anymore? Y/N texted like a grandma. Taeyong sighed, rolling his eyes at the "Johnny" part. Fucking Johnny. But he got up anyway.
It was only a short drive to his house, he'd been there a few times, and he hated it every time he came here. The Suhs were show-offs; with their stupid chendeliers and their stupid son.
Taeyong didn't come out of the car. He knew if he did, Johnny would probably have a broken nose. So he waited inside, tires screeching on the pavement. The door to Johnny's house opened. Fucking Johnny. Oh, it was Y/N.
Taeyong rolled down the window, "get in." Taeyong said nothing, watching you from the corner of his eye as he drove. It was only a few seconds until you broke.
"I'm sorry," Taeyong tried to be angry at you, but it was hard when you were sobbing in the passenger seat of his car. He said nothing, just nodded. "I… I should've listened… Mark…" you sniffed, and that was when he reacted. "Mark?" he couldn't stop the anger from blazing in his eyes, "you fucked Mark?" he swore under his breath, "dammit, Y/N. You need to stop fucking your -" but you shook your head, "n - no. M - Mark didn't… he brought a - alcohol and I didn't know it was alcohol and then the guys left and I was alone with Johnny and he…"
"And he what, Y/N?" Taeyong's voice was dangerously quiet. "What, Y/N?" he said, louder this time. "Did he do something you didn't want? I need you to tell me."
"No!" you cried out loudly, shaking your head. "N - no, I wanted to. I... I think. I think I wanted to," your voice drifted off. "I wanted to when we were doing it. l... I don't think I want to now... I… Yongie!" and you burst into an explosion of tears.
"It's okay," said Taeyong gently, "you don't have to do it again," he was so patient, so patient. "You don't have to ever again if you don't want to. You know that, right?"
You nodded, hiccuping. Then you started crying again, "but I wanna!" and Taeyong sighed, "okay, then I'll drive you back to Johnny's and you can..." but this only made you more hysterical. "Not Johnny," you whined loudly. I don't... not..." you trailed off again.
"Well, we can't stay in here forever. Come on, Y/N." Taeyong unbuckled your seatbelt. "Hey, come on." he coaxed you out of the car. Your brain must be in overload drive right now, so hysterical. Something must have happened last night that made you snap. Taeyong was gonna beat the shit out of Johnny Suh.
Or maybe it wasn't Johnny, said the voice of reason in Taeyong's head, maybe she was just upset about something else. Really uset. And maybe she didn't know what it was. That was more likely than Johnny being a dick. Well, more of a dick.
And, as he sat Y/N down on his bed, that was when it hit him; why she was so hysterical, and... indecisive.
It was because of him. Because Y/N been harping on and on about Johnny for months, ever since Yuta's party. Taeyong had been telling her and telling her that he was a bad person; that Johnny didn't deserve her. In fact, now he remembered asking her, "don't you see all the girls he sleeps with?" some few days ago.
Taeyong wanted to kick himself. It was his fault yn was like this. He should've just confessed, rather than messing with her emotions, instead of implanting things that weren't true in her mind: that Johnny treated women like toys; that Y/N loved him, Taeyong, more.
Something must have happened that night when she and Johnny were having sex. She must've thought of something, remembered something or seen something that reminded her of Taeyong, just how Taeyong had weeks ago. It would've ridden her with guilt. And of course, she wouldn't be able to remember what it was because she was drunk, but she would remember she didn't want Johnny. She just wouldn't know what for. Taeyong was going to kick himself.
Your stomach lurched. God, you were a lightweight. How much did Mark even give you last night...? Oh no. Oh, no, no, no. Well, you thought to yourself, as you ran to Taeyong's bathroom, now I know why I was feeling so heated up.
Taeyong held your hair for you, muttering an angry, "fuck you, Mark Lee," under his breath as you retched, crying softly. You hated vomiting. Especially on an empty stomach. It hurt.
He sighed, rubbing your back gently. You sucked in two breaths, exhaled one. Then you got up, turned around. You shoved your head into Taeyong's shirt. "I love you," whispering the words. Taeyong sighed, lifting you up gently. "Come on," he said quietly, "I'm gonna put you to sleep, okay? I'll wake you up tomorrow…"
Taeyong sighed heavily as he rolled you gently into his bed, pulling the navy blue sheets over your tiny body, drawing the blinds. Then he got up, "good night." turning to the door. You mumbled softly into his pillow, "'night Yongie."
Once he composed himself, Taeyong opened his laptop, taking a look at his psychology assignment. He figured if he wasn't going in today he might as well try to get some work done, but after five minutes, he found it impossible to concentrate.
His thoughts kept lingering. Your soft hair. The sight of you in his sweater. How small you were. How dainty you were. The size of your wrist next to his. The sound of your whines. The way you said his name. Those three words: "I love you". Spilled out in a time of vulnerability. You probably didn't even know what you were saying.
Taeyong groaned, shifting in his jeans. Fuck. He looked to the closed door of his bedroom, where you were sleeping peacefully, in his clothes, in his sheets, in his bed. His, his, his. FUCK!
He threw his head back and groaned loudly, and that was when he heard it. Coming from inside his bedroom. "Taeyong." you sniffed his name. His stomach flipped and he swore under his breath before getting back up and walking over. He opened the door a few inches, enough to poke his head through. "Yeah?"
It was obvious that you'd had some sleep, you already looked better. It had only been an hour, but for Taeyong, it felt like minutes. You turned over on your side to face him. "Can you come in. Please." and Taeyong looked away, "it's not a good idea." knowing exactly what would happen. He couldn't control himself. You whined softly, "please, Yongie. Just cuddles. I don't wanna be alone." and Taeyong sighed heavily, "alright."
Cuddling is a normal thing, thought Taeyong to himself, you and Y/N do it all the time. It's no big deal. Even the nickname. She's been calling you that since you were kids. It's not meant to be dirty.
It's not meant to be dirty, he kept telling himself, as he slid next to you under the sheets, it's not meant to be dirty, he told himself, as you shuffled around with your body pressed into him, it's not meant to be dirty, he told himself, as you span around to nestle your head in his shirt, it's not meant to be dirty, he said to himself, as you hitched your breath and leaned over and kissed him on the lips. It's meant to be dirty. FUCK!
"Y/N..." he said softly, "what are you doing?" looking deep inside your eyes, searching for a proper answer, other than the hungover words of, "I love you". You looked up at him, eyes watering. "I'm sorry," you whispered, dropping your arms. "I just..." Taeyong grabbed your left arm as it was moving, pinned it on the sheets. He smirked at the gasp that escaped your lips, before leaning down and sealing the kiss himself. This was the part he feared the most. If it wasn't just an accidental kiss. If it wasn't just a needy, in-the-moment kiss....
But then you kissed him back. Writhing beneath him. Kissing his lips desperately like it was the last thing you would ever do. Murmuring his name, "Taeyong, Taeyong, Taeyong," in the exact way he'd imagined it.
But then he stopped, remembering the horrible state you'd been in only a few hours ago. You froze, "Taeyong?" and he saw the fear swimming in your eyes. He brushed away a strand of hair from your forehead. "Are you sure you wanna do this, baby?" and your face rounded, "oh." and Taeyong frowned, "what?" and you spoke the words in a whisper, "I thought you were gonna leave me." looking away immeаdietly, ashamed.
Taeyong cupped your chin with his thumb and pointer finger, turning your head to face him. "I'm never going to leave you," the words so sweet and sincere that you knew for a second you wouldn't doubt them. "Johnny wanted me to leave," you admitted, "after." there was hurt in Taeyong's eyes, "I'm not Johnny." you leaned in to kiss him, "I know."
Taeyong shot you a quizzical look. "So you really want to do this?" and you nodded, "yes." he smiled, kissing your neck softly.
Taeyong was slow and gentle when he took off your clothes; unlike Johnny, who inhaled your sweater and said, "is this Taeyong's?" and ripped it off. Then he slid off the sorts carefully, tracing gently along the lines of where your underwear touched your legs. He kissed your tummy softly and the butterflies fluttered in your stomach, "I'll go easy on you." you laughed quietly at this, "it's okay, Taeyong. I'm just another girl." the tone flipped here, as he looked you cold in the eyes and said, "you're not."
Your body shivered at his touch. He wasn't as tall as Johnny, but he was still proportioned larger than you. Your wrist was tiny against his, even though he was petite.
He constantly kept checking in on you, as he left kisses on your skin, marking every inch of your body as his. "Are you okay?" he said, over and over. "Do you wanna stop? We don't have to continue." even though you told him there was nothing more you wanted to continue in the world.
After a while, he got the hint. You'd been wrapped around his finger since you were kids. Now, as he dove his tongue inside you, finger hooked within your cunt, you were his.
Your sounds were long and breathy. A mixture of lustful moans and cries for more. His name, slipping through your lips. "Please. Taeyong. Please." only spurring him to give you more. You whimpered under him, "need you." breathlessly.
He ignored you, "not yet." the hum of his words sending vibrations up your body. You whined and bucked your hips, "Yongie. Please." and he snapped; because it. Was fucking. Dirty.
"Fuck," he cursed as he lifted up his head, unbuckling his belt. You stared at him. "Taeyong. You're too... I don't think I can..." but Taeyong shook his head, "you can. You can. Fuck! I don't have a condom." getting up.
You pulled him back down, "it's okay," whining, "please. I'm on the pill. Yongie. Please." kissing him again. Taeyong swore, "fuck." lowering back down.
"You can take it," he coaxed gently, speaking into the kiss, gripping your right hand softly as you arched beneath him. "You can take it," groaned, "you can take it, come on, I know you can." he was still kissing you, as he moved and spoke. "You can take it." one last kiss. Taeyong whimpered and dropped your hand. "Fuck," he whispered, "good girl." you sniffed, feeling stretched and full.
"It's okay," Taeyong whispered, "you're okay, sweetheart. I've got you. I've got you." he slid in and out, whimpering and groaning. "Feel so good," he whined, "feels so good, baby." you hummed at this, unable to make up a coherent sentence. "T'yongie," you whined, "wanna cum." and he cursed, "fuck. Just hang on. Can you do that for me? Please." and you nodded, yes, you'd do anything for him.
Taeyong kissed you again, "good girl," taking your hand in his once more. His hand. Not Johnny's. His, his, his. Taeyong bit softly on your neck, whining into it. "Baby," he stuttered, "so hot for me, baby." you cried and nodded at his words.
"Who are you hot for, baby?" that didn't make sense, said the last bit of consciousness in your brain. "You," you gasped out. "Who?" he whispered again, kissing your bosom. You arched your back, "y - you, Yongie," he looked drawn, but still he asked, "Who?" and as he spilled, as you finally let go, you cried it out softly. "You, Taeyong."
And Taeyong smiled as he kissed you, because he knew now. You were his. His. Not Johnny's. Not anyone else's. His.
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#taeyong#lee taeyong#taeyong imagines#taeyong scenarios#taeyong smut#taeyong x reader#taeyong x you#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct smut#nct x reader#nct x you#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#kpop smut#kpop x you#kpop x reader#johnny suh#johnny smut#johnny x reader#johnny suh x reader#johnny suh imagine
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The 51 Post
Figured I'd start some kind of digest!
Contents:
Things You Might Have Missed
This Week's Jams
WIP Breakdowns
From the Skwad
Around the 'Blr
Things You Might Have Missed:
I've got a taglist form now! Because who doesn't love a good form?
BRHP: Chapter 14 posted; Atria learns the meaning of touch starvation and really, really misses her dad.
WIP Intro: Caught in the Crossfire (18+)
WIP Intro: The Arsonist Chronicles (18+)
WIP Whenever (Open Tag): BRHP chapter 15 snippet; pop pop is having a time time
Crossing Over: the 5th entry into the Lighthouse in the Fog shorts; a new player has entered the fray, and a familiar face reappears.
Vampire Council lore and vampire origins lore
Aria/Omega snippety snip
This Week's Jams:
friends like these || Brassie [spotify/youtube]
Little Girl Gone || CHINCHILLA [spotify/youtube]
EVERGREEN || PVRIS [spotify/youtube]
Eyes on Fire || Gold Souls [spotify/youtube]
WHEN THE PARTY'S OVER || Cami Petyn [spotify/youtube]
Lizard Lady || Laura Doggett [spotify/youtube]
WIP Breakdowns:
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Chapter 15 should be coming out later today, with 16 slated for release sometime late this week or early next week. I'm finally in the chapters that don't require a ton of rewrites; most of what I've been doing is adding content. The whole thing is outlined through chapter 30 though! Since this is my entry for WIP Big Bang, updates will "stop" at chapter 18, since that's what I had published before the rewrites. After that, you'll have to wait for the release date! Which also means I have to wait for the release date for the serotonin, and that's going to be a nightmare.
Unlikely Adventures of Bitchface and Go F*ck Yourself
At this point, it's just a matter of making myself work on it. About a third of chapter 9 is written and the entirety of Act II is outlined.
Blinding Neon, Shades of Grey
nervous laughter
Stellar Parallax
Fuck, I missed this WIP. I missed Jane especially, she's so fun to write -- I'm about a third of the way into chapter 9 and it seems to be flowing pretty well? I just wanna get to the part where she and Saren beat the shit out of each other LMAO
Lighthouse in the Fog
Dunno if y'all saw, but the lighthouse keeper stories have a tag and a tentative title now! It's going to remain as a series of loosely connected shorts, and that may very well be what I end up doing with Xatal as well. Anyway, we have some lore groundwork laid! Look out for the 6th short later today!
In the Works
I still have questions in my inbox that I am absolutely getting to! I've also got a bunch of unanswered tags in my drafts and Notion. Losing a week and a half of planned answer time threw my schedule WAY off.
Submission for SSSC #006 is in the planning stage. Hannah and the MILF Squad Get Up To No Good is about 30% written and fully outlined. I have... so many Kryterius prompts left to fill, and so many more spotify wrapped prompts left, send help. Still working on separating out the Daddy Issues smutshots, hoping to finish up the rewrites for the F!Shali one before the end of July. TIPYNTS is most likely going to come out in October, and by then I'm hoping to have a backlog of chapters to make posting more consistent.
From the Skwad:
Door's always open! 18+ writing server for both fanworks and original works! Camp is starting soon! We also have a flash fiction challenge and three bingo cards running until the end of the month!
@teamdilf continues to absolutely baffle me with her productivity here we go: A Cheesy Situation is now complete, ch 16 of Alice's Adventures in Andromeda is live, ch 18 of The In-Laws and the Grandparents is live, A Night in the IKEA dropped which I'm absolutely dying over, and that's not even all of it. holy shit J i don't know how you do it but i'll have whatever you're having thx
@thetrashbagswasteland dropped ch 4 of the Sunseeker rewrite and I'm adsfdafdadsf yes. thank you king
@sparatus is tearing me to fucking pieces with Make Less the Depth of Grief. i hate you (i love you)
@uraniumwriting also obliterated me with their FFF entry.
@wrathbites is back and I'm literally beside myself I missed the Vampire AU so fucking much.
oops @commander-krios got me invested in Star Wars please look at this.
@starknstarwars updated Smuggler's Ruin aaaaaaaaaaaaa
A few of our members participated in Shenko Summer!! @dandenbo wrote Volta and @mrsd-writes wrote both We Got Here the Hard Way and Forever Home!
@regalbois dropped a new original oneshot and has been going bananas over Bioshock lately and gifting us MORE mlm deliciousness, ch 3 of Magnum Opus went live last night.
@inflarescent has a new wippppp aaaaaaa -- intro post for The Roulette Paradox here!
@discoeffect updated Far From Any Road and I am devouring the first book so I can read this one!!
Around the 'Blr:
Have you checked out the Writeblr Directory or Writeblr Cafe yet?
I'm literally still thinking about @captain-kraken's Heitha translator.
@void-botanist dropped some witch lore I'm eating with a spoon.
@tc-doherty ALSO popped off with the conlang.
The dates IRL are lining up with the dates in @elshells's Agent Ace EXCITING also a new chapter is dropping probably by the time I post this lmao
@liv-is dropped this GOLDMINE of relationship writing tips also TIL what Liv does for a living not sorry
@writernopal first of all made me absolutely CRY being sweet in the tags last night and also dropped an aasoaf 3 sneep while i was composing this thank you my friend i needed the energy snack
did y'all see Find the Word XVIII from @artdecosupernova-writing i'm going FERAL
@tabswrites's Silver Sentinels has a second chapter, I am VIBRATING
@oh-no-another-idea just slid in with this little diddy that i LOVE.
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
Outpost Updates Taglist: @tabswrites @writernopal @freedominique @asher-orion-writes @liv-is @starknstarwars @captain-kraken
Ask to +/- in the tags, replies, DMs, or HERE!
#my fic#outpost updates#in which everyone learns korble cannot talk about himself without also sharing the floor bc anxiety#if i missed you throw something in my inbox or tag me!!#there wasn't a plan for this one but now that i know what i want to do i'll be collecting stuff throughout the week!
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Regarding that Silvaze post. I, of course, can't speak for anyone else, but I can say why I personally fell in love with Silvaze. It's strange, I swear this is like the third time now I've written a response like this to someone asking why people ship Silver and Blaze. I don't want to spend too much time on this, I often get carried away with stuff like this. Ultimately, it comes down to three points:
1. Dynamic - Goofy cringefail boyfriend x stern emotionally-reserved kickass girlfriend, is a fun dynamic. Not to mention I'm a sucker for 'guy who worships his partner like a goddess' archetypes. Lots of fluff potential. That's the fun part, then there's always the angst.
2. Backstory - It's like a damn Greek tragedy! Two people who, in a dark future, only had each other, no home, friends, or hope, just each other. They grow so close that one decides to sacrifice herself for the other. History is reset, memories are erased. Blaze is reborn as a royal in a paradise dimension. Silver is left to relive his life in the apocalypse, only this time all alone. Separated by time and space, memories erased, their life together never existed. And yet! They manage to meet again! And through a strange feeling of deja vu they remember one another! Through muscle memory alone they act in sync without the need for words. AHHHH Like come on, that's writing gold! And that brings us to the final point:
3. Potiental - I would go so far as to call Silvaze a crackship or rare pair, because content for them can be a drought sometimes. It really comes in waves, rather than a constant stream. And canon seems to like to keep them apart which I suppose is poetic in a way, or if they do meet the writers don't really seem interested in their relationship. I think you can count on your hand the number of times they've actually had conversations with each other. Which is a shame. But what often makes me daydream about them, what made me fall in love them is the potential! What if they rediscovered the memories of their previous life? Would Silver be consumed by shame of letting Blaze go when she sacrificed herself for him? Would Blaze feel guilty about leaving her friend behind in a nightmare world while she got to live in a paradise with all the riches and luxuries she could ever ask for? What if we explore their early years in the 06timeline, how they met? Would they be overprotective of each other? Would Blaze offer to shelter Silver in her kingdom to make sure he doesn't have to return and live in his devastated future? What if we explored the whole time travel thing, how it works, can Silver do it on his own? How would they aid each other in their quests? Silver protecting the Sol Kingdom, Blaze returning to the future in hopes of fixing it. There's literally so much you can do with them, they're so interesting!
But those are just my thoughts. Hope this isn't too long. Bye.
Oh dude, don't even WORRY about that, I love long posts! Despite taking forever to reply to them XD
These are some pretty interesting points but that second point....WHAT THE HELL!?! FR!?!
Wait oh my god, I think that has been the biggest revelation to me I'm stumped huh????? Oh god i really have to look deeper into them now wtf
And they have lacking content? That's so unfair! Ugh man, now I wanna try to contribute, I really love them and finding out more about them has only solidified that 😭😭
It's like I can never win with my ships here lmao, I thought I'd be safe with sonamy, only for sonamy to have less than a thousand (completed) fanfics on ao3 with sonado at almost 3k 😭😭 (nothing against sonadow btw, just surprised sonamy doesn't have more)
But I'll try my best do do Sonamy and Silvaze right! I don't have the talent of writing to do nothing with it!
Thank you so much for this small, in depth explanation, I'm really shocked about their past part, this is pretty interesting shit lmao
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s2 time! i'm not gonna be as thorough with it as i was w s1 bc i'm not a huge fan of season 2 ff but here goes
(this post's gonna be tosh/owen + some fragments talk, then i'm gonna reblog with a day in the death stuff, and then ill make a separate post for adam bc. woo nelly. that one warrants it.)
so lets start with the tosh/owen differences. a lot of their little scenes in s2 are markedly different - mostly as far as body language. there's a surprising amount of physical affection between them.
four separate occasions (eps 3, 4, 8, and 9) where there's physical affection between them in the script that didn't make it into the episode. i find this intriguing. tosh and owen are both very... non-affectionate people. both of them could be, with someone they loved romantically, but they don't strike me as the type of people who like to cuddle with their friends. they're both naturally very aloof and non-touchy, which makes that casual physical touch very ooc. i imagine that's why it didn't end up on screen. i figure the writers here knew the show was meant to push the tosh/owen angle in s2, but it's interesting to me that it ended up being a lot more subtle and... awkward in the show itself. i've already said i'm not a towen fan, for many reasons, but one is that there's just... zero chemistry between them (in s2, anyway). every interaction is forced and uncomfortable. it's weird enough that i was thrown off by it for a long time and couldn't figure out what the show was trying to do with them, lmao. i know that their awkwardness probably appeals to some people, and is cute or smth, but i dislike it personally. mostly i'm just petty the show reduced tosh down to that relationship tbh but whatever.
i can't help but wonder if they had this casual physical affection with each other, and if it fit in and didn't feel ooc for them, if i would like them as a couple more. but honestly i have thought about what the show could've done to make tosh/owen endear me, and i don't think uncharacteristic physical affection would be it. i do like that first scene, the way their communication styles clash a bit and they don't know quite how to talk to each other. i like owen awkwardly trying to comfort her, i love when he does that, how it's like a baby deer walking for the first time fhsdjfkds. im very endeared by the way owen's empathy is either out of nowhere and all-consuming, or something he has to force and is awkward about wielding. whenever he tries to be kind it's very tentative, because it doesn't come natural to him (anymore, at least), but he does care enough to try. i'm so fond of it. also hes sooo nd ehehe. tosh too.
will say this: i do appreciate owen getting hugs. he does need it. tosh needs it too. if the team WAS physically affectionate with each other they'd be better off, i think.
two more tosh/owen things...
see, this is what i mean when i say i couldn't tell what the show was doing with them. the SHOW can't even tell. this whole scene is written very vaguely, with little insight into owen's head, like the damn writer doesn't even know why he finally agreed. this is probably my, like, fourth favorite tosh/owen scene, which isn't saying much, 'cause i still don't really like it. it's cute in like, three spots, but mostly it just feels... weird. i don't understand what burn was intending with his acting choices, because owen comes across as insincere and slightly snide. it's weird and gross, and it rubs me wrong. i don't know if he's trying to be casual and play it cool or something, but the way he laughs at her makes me wanna punch him. the way owen treats tosh is just about the only place i legitimately can't stand him.
one last bit about it. see, 'fondly'. in the actual scene, i would describe the way owen looks at her in this moment as.... amused (at her expense) and slightly condescending. like he thinks she's laughable. it fucking bothers me. which sucks because i wanna like them, i do. i think they could be compatible. but the way he treats her in canon is nauseating and i can't get behind it.
right, and then two fragments moments i wanna discuss
all i really wanna say here is again (as mentioned in my end of days talk), chibnall didn't specify owen crying or anything, but he spends his whole segment of this ep in tears. point is i wanna thank burn gorman for the way owen constantly is teary eyed and miserable, with those big pretty brown doe eyes of his. it means the world to me. thats all
actually it's not all cuz i also wanna point out jack grabbing owen to stop him instead of owen collapsing into tears and sobbing into jacks chest while jack holds him. the dead man walking script similarly didn't specify the physical touch between jack and owen in the three places it appears, so i imagine that was largely something decided by the actors... i'm very compelled by the three separate instances where we see owen attack jack one minute / at one point in the ep and then sob in his arms the next. their relationship is sooo unhealthy fff
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I don't necessarily want to be too hard on Sudeikis because like, I've never written a tv show, but at the same time I will be because I don't think he had the skill level to lead the 3rd season on his own the way he did, and it shows. I Know the show is called Ted Lasso but it honestly felt like he was too wrapped up in providing himself with moments to shine that he forgot about wrapping up huge plot points for other characters and for some reason decided their time was better spent wasted on weird side plots. If I was a suspicious person, I'd honestly say that it felt like he was sabotaging other actors by either turning them into one dimensional cut outs of themselves with no depth (Roy), dropping huge issues for the character and then completely washing over them, and also forcing a highly emotional moment by a great actor to be a farce (Jamie), or neglecting any actual potential character development and sacrificing a well developed character for a cheap shot at "yas girl boss" (Keeley)
hmm i know a lot of people blame the bad pacing and super long episodes on Bill Lawrence's departure and Jason's lack of show-running knowledge. I'm not saying he didn't make the problem worse in s3, but to be fair I think that was already well underway as a problem in s2 (when i think Lawrence was still involved?), so I don't really blame him alone. The pacing was only tight and great in the first season and then it went downhill from there.
As for the character stuff...I disagree that Sudeikis was only concerned with writing himself moments to shine (and if it’s true he did a terrible job of it lmao), because imo Ted's character is just as much of a sloppily-written mess in s3 as the rest of them (and also I think Ted's plot was less central in s3 than it was in s2 especially). Apart from the scene with Ted and his mom at the end of Mom City and maybe his season finale locker room speech, I can't really think of any scenes that are standout in terms of really emphasizing Jason's acting range/serving as award-fodder.
I also strongly disagree that he was intentionally sabotaging his fellow actors by giving them bad plots LOL. Actually I think it was quite the opposite, in that he was extremely focused on giving each of the others a “highlight reel" episode to present to the Emmys committee. Like, you can look at the season and immediately pick out which episode was written for each emmy submission (Paris is Juno's episode, Chelsea is Brett's episode [still shocked he didn't submit it tbh], International Break is Hannah's episode, etc.) Like, Mom City was clearly written with Phil winning his emmy at the forefront of the writer's room minds, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. heck, that's my favorite episode of the season! (side note that I agree with you that Jason is to blame for THAT jamie boot room scene though because like wow was that bad directing, and the bts video shows he was the one telling Phil to play it like that lmao). But i do think the segmented structure of the episodes probably did contribute to the pacing problems and the lack of cohesiveness in the season as a whole.
(I also don’t think Roy was one-dimensional in s3 🫢. Apart from a few things that didn't quite land for me, I really liked where they took Roy's arc this season on the whole. IMO they gave him more depth by really diving into his insecurities, showing him as a leader with Isaac, learning to be a friend to Jamie, coming into his own as a coach and a person, going to therapy and becoming manager. And his ending was ultimately satisfying for me).
ANYWAY, in my opinion Jason's biggest crime was being so rigidly committed to the three season vision of the show he dreamt up in the beginning, even when the show and plots had gotten too big for that original vision to contain. Season 3 could have been separated into two seasons easily and it would have given them the time they desperately needed to address many of the characters and relationships in a much better and holistic way, as well as dedicate more time to thoughtful endings for all of the main plots. Instead they tried to do way too much with way too little space. And also gave a weird amount of screen time to pointless characters (cough Zava cough Shandy...)
#also it might be true that he brought too much of his personal life and own divorce mess into the writers room like people say#but tbh i don't know enough about him or his life to comment on that lmao#ted lasso#asks#ted lasso critical#sorry for disagreeing on all of your points but I think we can all be agreement that regardless of the specific problems#it was a Mess
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Haiiii Tiff! Hope you’re having a good start to the holidays! I just wanted to ask how long did it take you to plan TBAW or any of your other fics? I’m currently in my planning phases for this Jean f.f but I don’t know if I’m hitting all my marks? If that makes sense? anyways happy holidays girl! 🫡🎄
hello!! 🥰 happy holidays to you too!
for my posted oneshots, i usually just come up with the idea and then bang out it in one sitting. i'll let them sit for like a week or so, re-read them and made changes, and then posted. so minimal planning for those. i've noticed that if it takes me more than one sitting to write a oneshot, i'll get really in my head about it -- but that's just a me thing so do whatever works for you!!
for tbas, i only had a beginning and ending planned out and then just kinda made it up as i went along lol
i was kinda the same for tbaw, but after i was halfway through the original draft, i realized that the story was way too long and decided to take what i had written so far and add some structure.
since i already knew how i wanted it to end, i split the story into three parts and then tried to plan out each part separately. i would break each part (arc 1, 2, and 3) into 11 chapters and then give myself a rough outline of key things i wanted to happen in each chapter and then i just kinda winged it for the rest 💀 sprinkling in foreshadowing and stuff where i could.
for the fics i'm working on now, i've done something similar to tbaw by splitting the story into 3 and then giving myself the key points that i want in each part. i'm not breaking it out chapter-by-chapter like i did with tbaw, but we'll see if that changes when i actually start writing
for reference lol here's some of the outline that i have for the reiner fic if it helps? there's also a third arc but i've hid it because i don't wanna spoil the whole story lol
i also have little "character bios" for each of the main characters and main details about them and what i envision for their character arc, why the make certain choices, and how the ending shows their growth 💀💀💀 ahhhhh sorry this is so embarrassing to talk about lmao
i keep the outlines vague so i can give myself some creative freedom when i'm writing, but the important thing to me is knowing how the story is going to end so i know what i'm working toward.
i try not to spend too much time working on a plan because things will change as i start writing and as the character take on minds of their own 😳 but as long as i know what the ending is, i can stay focused.
i hope this helps? idk 🙈
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Just wanna say ty for being some of the chosen Kollok people that carried the hashtag and are still around
hahaha yeah ofc!!
honestly i still need to like. actually finish series 2 (cannot call it kollok because kollok 1991 is always just kollok in my heart) i got maybe three episodes in because personally I wasn't enjoying the direction they went with it. i think it would've been better as an independent series, it just didn't have the heart and soul kollok 1991 had.
okay. i was like. i don't need to go on a rant....but i want to >:)
one of the things I liked about kollok 1991 was how messy it was, it was messy and fun and dark at the same time, there was a lot of cool stuff about it, and it felt like watching someone's beloved homegame with their unhinged dm, where not everything got wrapped up neatly and you never quite knew what was going to happen next.
the second series felt to clean to me, everything was put together, very streamline, very neat. it didn't have the edges or the humor 1991 had that was integral to [of course], my personal enjoyment of it. i feel like the ascended in general felt flat to me as well, like they were trying so hard to get us invested and interested in them that they wrapped back around to myself feeling like i didn't know them at all.
i think they tried really hard to do a little bit of everything, trying to let old fans see the legacy cast and their story, bring in a new audience with the ascended and the new story. it just all felt like? too much? like by catering to everyone and anyone they catered to no one. I remember zac saying that he wanted the second series to be something that anyone who'd never heard of kollok before could pick up and start watching, but to me that was so incredibly flawed. 1991 by its nature is a complex story, even if you created something new in the universe, the deeper lore and characters are still there, especially with how it was written.
my only pet peeve with zac's gaming style is that it's clear he almost always bites off more than he can chew, and when he needs to reconcile what he's bitten off, he almost always just spits it out (retcons) rather than just tries to swallow it (improvise, shift). he has extremely rich backstories and background written, and he likes to drop hints and ideas, but he never reveals any answers that are truly satisfying. (which maybe I missed because i didn't watch the second series). he likes to tease his audience, but never truly satisfy, in my opinion the most satisfying moments almost always came from the players.
imo legacy and the ascended should've been two different shows. they could've had the same format, they even could've existed in the same universe! [BIG BIG, "this is coming from someone who watched only like the first few episodes"], they could've just broken them up into separate shows at separate times. they could've given the old fans a satisfying ending, and given the new fans something to chew on with the ascended.
in my like. dream scenario, legacy's timeline instead takes place in 2002. (i've mentioned how i think a "kollok 2002" would be really cool, another palindrome year, most of the cast would be 11 years older, and in their late twenties/early thirties) they could still have mallory having gone into the black rock, tibby wracked with guilt, and the others sort of far flung. i think they could've pulled the same stuff and gotten a good result!! they could've even kept the timeline!! the ascended would rebel shortly after, the could've even done a series about that, which would've felt very similar, and ended where the show eventually got to, with the disillusioned ascended trying to figure out what the fuck they were going to do
idk! just my ten cents on it. sorry for taking your message and doing a lil rant lmao hope you don't mind
maybe i should do a sweet kollok rewatch in the future soon....like 1991 is pretty long but maybe i could swing it again >:)
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Ok first how long have you shipped Fazcule
second did freddy and Bonnie see Monty at the same time and go " yup he's ours now" or did one fall then the other,
Thirdly did you ever write out or draw out how that kind of relationship affects the game or does it exist separately
And finally ( sorry it's long) I have a dumb, probably not funny doodle comic idea I'd like to draw and it would cross over our characters so I'm asking for permission to draw your characters totally fine if you rather I didn't
Oh my asks about the Fazcule <:0
It's been a while!!!
(warning, very stupid long rant, I didn't realize how long I've written, oh dear god I'm so sorry)
Ok firstly, when I went to Tumblr with the help of @lmaojune (hi bestie if you see this). I was completely blind to the fandom, I used to be in a Pokemon Amino and posted whatever, what're aus? What're fics? Ships? Didn't know em. Then saw all the Monteddy art and was like y'know what? Why not draw them. Then it dawned on me I could basically draw anything I wanted , didn't matter how goofy (yes it took me that long to realize, I was a very serious artist back in Amino). Not long, I saw everyone's Glamrock Fronnie, as a Monty enthusiast I was like NOOOO HE WAS LEFT OUT :( but then I stumbled upon other people's art with Monty and Bonnie, I've read so much fics about them being enemies or fics where Bonnie's the abusive partner of either Monty or Freddy but I didn't see him as how I see him today (the sweet idiot hornball). Then I started drawing Bonnie more but then I saw Izzy (holidayturkeyy who which I will NOT tag I do not need them seeing this rant guys, pls save me the humility) and their idea of a polycule with the three guys, polycule and Fazbear? BOOM FAZCULE (also it's a reason I don't call the ship Gatorbearbun, I think that derived from Twitter? The hellscape land of musk :> /hj), and THE ART WAS TOO SWEET I COULDNT KVMDKDLS then dots aligned and I got hooked. Sorry for the long answer but to cut this short, I've been shipping them ever since I've discovered the ship's exsistance, that being like 2 years ago already (geez time is fast)
Secondly, yeah that was my first impression of the ship, Freddy and Bonnie are ogs and they find this new guy they both really like so they were both like YEAHHHHH we'll just uhhh talk to him. And then they started to become a polycule. Although I did have ideas back then where Bonnie and Monty drag Freddy into their relationship. This is actually canon to the TOH au me and June share.
Third, yes actually! If you go to AO3 and see my Fazcule Drabbles (short Fazcule Oneshots which I have yet to update lcsmdmldnfk), multiple times have I mentioned about the effects of a polycule relationship to their modern lives, I'm about to do the same thing with a new fic series I am about to write (still on break from writing lol)
And lastly HELL TO THE YES I WOULD FRICKIN LOVE THAT And I've mentioned it before, I WOULD LOVE FANART/IF SOMEONE WERE TO USE MY CHARACTERS/IDEAS
I don't see anything wrong with it (unless people yoink my art and claim it as theirs, ya know those kinda stuff)
Sorry for the long rant lmao :p
#montgomery gator#glamrock freddy#glamrock bonnie#askjosh#joshblogs#fazcule#headcanons#IM STILL SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT I GOT EXCITED WHEN I SAW AN ASK
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20 questions for fic writers
tagged by @isagrimorie (thanks for the tag!)
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
only 9 lmao. you're never gonna guess what my fic writing weakness is.
2. What's your total Ao3 word count?
108,636 words
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Doctor Who (and various related fandoms. though funnily enough i've never posted a new who fic), Star Trek (currently just Star Trek Picard but i have a few Voyager wips too), and a single Steven Universe fic.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
this happiness is hell on earth – Steven Universe fanfic about Pearl and Rose's toxic relationship and Pearl learning to recover after the series
And They Became Monsters (the fall of great men) – Gallifrey/Bernice Summerfield/DWEU fic that's a novel length character study of Irving Braxiatel and started as a way to explain his timeline and then i was carried away by the themes.
The Office – a somewhat silly Gallifrey fic where Romana and Narvin fight over an office following Enemy Lines when Romana takes over the CIA
A Holiday – a fluffy Eighth Doctor audios fic where Eight, Liv, and Helen go on vacation and accidentally run into the Doctor's past...
What is Beautiful – Gallifrey fic where Narvin and Leela explore one of the Axis worlds alone and Leela makes Narvin see the beauty in the world
5. Do you respond to comments?
i try to! a few comments always get lost in the email weeds but i try to make an effort to respond.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
oh this is hidden lore because i wrote it before i had an ao3 account but i posted a Gallifrey fic called Hope in Times of War in 2015. it was on my old tumblr so i doubt that is survives online but was about Gallifrey succumbing to Rassilon's military dictatorship during the Time War and Romana, Brax, Leela, and Narvin all being separated and i remember Narvin was executed as part of military executions and well... no one else had a great time either. i've learned that i prefer writing bittersweet endings to purely angsty ones.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
i don't tend to go for outright happy 'everything's fine' type endings. the closest is probably What is Beautiful because it doesn't have much of a plot other than some musings on Narvin's character growth.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
on the one SU fic i wrote, i got a weird hate comment an hour after posting it and the commenter edited it like three times so it was no longer hate but just... vague disapproval and complaining about... not even my fic but just the standard interpretation of the show. anyways it didn't bother me but i did think it was funny how bothered this person was over the canonical fact that Pearl and Rose had a toxic relationship.
other than that, i don't really write for big enough fandoms or write controversial enough things to attract any hate.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
none published :) i've written some smut but i've been far too insecure to publish it because 1) i'm very ace and i think it shows in my writing and 2) some people i know irl have my ao3 and i tend to be conscious about how things i post could escape online containment. if i do publish any smut i'll probably publish it anonymously.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
again – none published. i have a few Gallifrey fusions i've sketched out before and one Gallifrey/Voyager crossover that i wrote a few pages of over the summer.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
nope but i would welcome it!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
nope! i think my writing habits are far too erratic to be a good co-writer but i love sending ideas back and forth with people.
14. What's your all time favorite ship?
the Gallifrey ot3. not even necessarily in a romantic sense, just in a 'these characters' lives forever revolve around each other and they can never escape even if they want desperately to leave' sense. Gallifrey was the first fandom that i was really dedicated to and spent a lot of time thinking about so these characters have permanently left a mark on my brain.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
i only have one posted WIP that i am very much intent on finishing but as for my eternal drafts i have two notable ones that i still work on occasionally but will never be published in their current form:
Star Trek Perseverance – i challenged myself last spring/summer to create my own 20 episode season Star Trek series that i would want to see in the world. it's a slight AU of the end of Picard s3 where Seven and Raffi were given a new ship called Perseverance instead of the Ent G with a mostly OC cast of main characters and a more similar 90s vibe of an episodic series with different tones. i have an outline of all the s1 episodes and a few of the "scripts" written but yeah... writing 20 full length episode scripts is simply too much for me to tackle but i'm toying with the idea of adapting a few to prose/taking out the AU elements to publish because i do really love the "episodes" i wrote and it was fun to experiment with some comedy/light hearted stories which i tend not to write.
also during lockdown i started a 'Romana survives the Time War instead of the Doctor' AU of new who and i sketched out an outline of s1 (and some other big season plot points) but only wrote about 10 pages. it has some excellent writing tbh but given how long it would need to be, it's destined to live forever on my hard drive and in my head.
16. What are your writing strengths?
character voices 100% if i feel like i can't find a character's voice for whatever reason then i simply will not write for them. even when i go back to my old work, i cringe at the pacing/grammar errors, but generally i think the character voices are pretty on point.
i also like to think i've become pretty good at adding rhythm and pacing to my prose when i put in the effort. it's quite hard to do sometimes but it's so satisfying when it works. i'd never claim to be a poet but i love writing prose that just feels good and melodic to read aloud.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
... finishing things. or just committing to projects and ideas that i can actually follow through on.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
oof. i know enough Spanish (and Russian to a lesser extent) to get through some dialogue but i would very much want to run it by a fluent speaker first. however neither Spanish nor Russian have ever come up in my fics.
the only non-English languages that's come up in my fics are French and Latin. the French was for an abandoned fic and i asked my French-speaking friend to translate. the Latin was for ATBM and i'm pretty sure i ended up taking the line out because i didn't know any Latin speakers(?) (i mean it's a dead language so.... readers? translators?) and was too shy to ask a stranger.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
technically i wrote some HP fic in a notebook when i was 8 though i didn't know what fanfiction was at the time. (obligatory note that i'm not a HP fan or supporter right now given JKR's bigotries and hate speech)
20. Favorite fic you've written?
And They Became Monsters (the fall of great men) without a question. i poured my heart and soul into that beast and was the first time i wrote something that felt like Real Writing with Layers and Themes. when i was done i felt like my writing meant something more than the usual short fic i'd write. like at the end of the day it's a fanfic but it's also a critique of Great Men histories, a dissection of how art and the ways we view art perpetuates imperialism, studying how abuse causes abuse in cycles, how egotism stems from insecurity and slowly eats away at the self, how the self is just a performance and mask of something no one can ever name, and how sometimes the only thing you have to do to break away from cycles of tragedy and violence is to ask for help. (sorry i'm being too pretentious but i am very proud of my work on that one)
it was also the first time i feel like i put real effort into small details and experimented with them like tense – the story is told from the perspective of two versions of the same character and depending on the POV, the story is either told in past or present tense. there are even a few scenes when the two versions meet and i still narrate one's actions in present tense while the rest of the scene is in past tense to drive in how the present-tense character is quite literally out of place. there are also quite a few sections that i purposefully wrote as fragmented and run-on sentences to mimic the thought processes of someone having a breakdown/ideological crisis.
if i had to pick a favorite excerpt it would probably be the confrontation between the two different versions of Braxiatel:
He sighed. “You believe this is my fault? Deferring responsibility? Are you sure that you have grown up?”
“You were the one who lied. You told me I was a hero. You told me I would win the War. My future is Gallifrey’s future. Don’t you remember that?” Braxiatel wouldn’t rise to anger because he was better than that, he would never give up the game. (It’s always been a game.)
“I told you that you mattered. All children believe they matter.” Neutral, impassive, infuriating. He wasn’t belittling. Maybe to him, Braxiatel was still a child – the wayward son fallen far away from a distant and demanding father. Maybe that was the truth. What a cruel family he’s created. Just another cycle. Ad infinitum.
And here they were, blame circulating around and around. Things would never be resolved. Things would never heal. Braxiatel didn’t even want to heal. He wanted to leave this jagged cut deep inside – so deep that maybe the wrong Braxiatel felt it – because if there was an ugly scar for all to see that meant all the hurt was real. His bitterness and anger was justified because wasn’t healing just erasing? Forgetting the hurt meant letting it happen again and again, and there’s another cycle because he just can’t seem to get away.
Tagging: I can't remember which of my mutuals are fic writers but if you see this feel free to fill it out!
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤
I was sent this by three separate people lmao so I suppose it's time to do it. 😅 Thanks also to @heartensoul and @mrssakurahatake who sent this my way.
An Accidental Peek Through Time
Rating: M (incomplete) | Words: 22,458
What was started as a one-chapter fluff piece is now somehow so much more in-depth than I ever expected and I really got invested in doing it justice. Not complete, but definitely in progress and always in the back of my mind.
(You Give Me) Fever
Rating: E (complete) | Words: 10,067
I was working on this fic for months and months before it all came together. All fics are a passion project, but this one especially. Really poured my heart, soul, and deepest darkest thoughts into this one lmao.
Death and the Maiden
Unrated but not explicit | Words: 777
Just really liked writing this dynamic and it's short and sweet (for now)! I've always loved reading other people's mythology AU's and was really excited to try my hand at my own :)
Strangers in the Night
Rating: E (complete) | Words: 28,161
Almost obligatory to put this one on the list because it was my first published fic and will always hold a special place in my heart for that <3 But also... I think the smut is pretty good 👀
Baby You Can Drive My Car
Rating: T (complete) | Words: 2,714
Honestly just had a blast writing this one haha and it was the first thing I wrote / published based on prompts from other people.
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5, 9, 12!
crab!! hi hi hi hi hi hiiiii~! ty for quastions :3
from fanfic asks for the new year
5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?
aha, well. technically the first is mini heist!au but none of it is written that is in the shape of the final thing that i haven't already posted on here so i'm gonna cheat and say uh. wow huh okay then i kind of have no idea. ah! maybe my arthurcobb fic then! cos it sure won't be narrative!fic, lol!
here is a snippet from the current draft which is uhh three and a half years old (by which i mostly mean to say, there are a couple things in here i would write differently now.):
Arthur brings his coffee up to the counter where Dom has already deposited his onion rings and says, “Excuse me, can I purchase a — a temporary phone?” If he doesn't call it a burner maybe he will come off as more the kind of person he actually is. The cashier puts up a finger in question and Arthur nods but behind him Dom says firmly, “Two.”
Arthur turns, surprised. “Why — we don’t need two?” They’re traveling together, after all. Arthur’s not about to leave Dom alone, so it’s not like Dom will need his own phone. It’s not like Dom’s super functional, anyway. The three days he’d spent on Arthur’s couch before they read the news and had to leave town extremely suspiciously, he’d really just spent on the couch. “We don’t need two phones, Dom,” Arthur repeats.
“What if we get separated,” Dom points out. “How would we get in contact with each other again? You should have your own phone, too.” Arthur would rather not think about circumstances that would separate them. Dom says, “Arthur,” and it feels pointed.
Something like panic hollows Arthur’s chest. Things are already out of control, apparently. Two days into being on the run and apparently Dom can call these shots but he can’t be on the run by himself.
9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January?
ahaha actually, getting this ask made me decide that i'm going to try my absolute best to finish the project i've been calling "mini heist!au" (which ... at this point ... is just an au of heist!au without any heists in it, lmao) this month! i used answering this ask as my bribe for reading through all the existing material and drawing up a revision plan / new fic story structure actually. i'm not sure i'll be able to, i suspect there are 2-4 drafts and i simply do not write that fast (at least one from scratch based on a new outline, possibly a second from scratch, and then a second/third that's just like. content/theme/cadence/character arcs etc revisions. though that might get complex enough to be two drafts). but we'll see! there are still 24 days so at this current moment i am optimistic :3
12. Will you change anything about the way you edit or rewrite this year?
YES I SURE FUCKING WILL. I HAVE BEGUN IT ACTUALLY, mostly i'm continuing to test a thing i tried in december 2023 to see if it still works for projects that aren't the specific situation of the beginning of devotion (so far, yes!) anyway the way that process goes is like this (recipe below):
first, write a terrible draft. some scenes can just be a note of what needs to happen. ideally: expend as little fucking effort on this as possible bc like. almost none of this will stay. just write enough to get the vibes of what you're going for.
second, read through that draft taking notes of what you like or don't like (or, the way i phrase it for myself to make the goal clearer "what feels like it is aligned with my vision for the fic vs what isn't") but most importantly. WHY.
for me doing this second step has 2/2 turned into "here is a rough outline of the story, completely restructured" but also, with no ending (which is fine, i just have to trust that the ending will appear when more of the draft is written).
third, compile those notes on a new draft into a narrative-order outline (linear for me).
fourth, write the new draft.
fifth, try to do step 2 again. but what i found for the beginning of devotion and therefore what i'm to a certain extent expecting, is that i will just have a bunch of Ns/dislikes and then go. ah. because the things i dislike are too granular to require big-picture story structure changes now.
sixth, copy the most recent draft into a new doc. and read through and revise directly on the page. maybe title at some point so that revision stuff is aligned with the mood/tone/content/vibes/whatever of the title. and maybe come up with initial tags and a summary here also to make sure the vibes are all aligned. hopefully the content of the ending will become clear at this point and you'll draft that for the first or second time.
seventh, idk i like to do an out-loud readthrough bc reading cadence is important to me personally. and also i am scared to lose the skill of reading aloud considering i do it about zero times a year other than this.
that's it basically.
#hidey speaks#ask game#hidey talks fic#is that my tag lol#man my paragraphs used to be so chonkyyy#but also wow im kind of emotional ... some of my older writing is so fucking beautiful#in a way i tried to train myself out of pretty hard the last two years. and now mmm. i'm better at structure but#i'm not sure i know how to get some of that lyricism back
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20 questions for fic writers
tysm @three-magpies-in-a-trenchcoat for the tag!!
How many works do you have on Ao3?
4
What's your total Ao3 word count?
13,296
What fandoms do you write for?
i used to write for the Hermitcraft fandom, but i've discontinued the one fic i started for it and moved on to The Magnus Archives. i've got a couple story ideas for other fandoms, but idk if they'll go anywhere.
What are your top five fics by kudos?
well, i've only got four! but from most- to least-kudosed, there's:
- Double Trouble (Hermitcraft, rated G, incomplete multichapter)
- Know What Can't Be Shown, Feel What Can't Be Known (TMA, rated T, oneshot)
- Time Enough to Spend Some Time Alone (TMA, rated T, oneshot)
- Here, Nowhere, Somewhere With You (TMA, rated G, oneshot)
and i'm totally not salty my two most kudosed fics are an incomplete work and something i posted at 3am, respectively.
Do you respond to comments?
hell yeah! i love answering comments <3
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
gotta say Time Enough, bc it's more refined than its predecessor, Know What Can't Be Shown (man i really need to stop giving my fics such long titles, i always end up shortening them when referring to them). but for reference, both are pre-Unknowing jmart kiss fics; it's a favored headcanon of mine. Time Enough also spends more time musing on how Jon and Martin are feeling—that is, they feel Bad. Absolutely Terrible. sad and scared, both for the Unknowing and for each other.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Here, Nowhere, Somewhere, absolutely. the ending itself is pretty open, but Jon and Martin have reunited post-MAG 200, admitted they still love each other after its events, and found themselves Somewhere Else. it's the most hopeful.
Do you get hate on fics?
not yet, thankfully. i'm not a well-known enough author for that lol.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
i do not! and i doubt i ever will. props to everyone who does, though.
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
i don't really write crossovers, at least none i ever planned to publish, but i do have a couple fusion AUs in the works (that is, taking one story's premise and combining it w/the characters of another). and funnily enough, both are based on songs.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
i sure hope not.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
no. though if someone offered to, i'd be honored!
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
technically? a friend of mine and i made a couple AUs for a few different MCYT fandoms that never really went anywhere, but i've never co-authored something that's made it to publishing.
What's your all time favorite ship?
probably jonmartin. i've read a ridiculous amount of fanfic for them, and i think pretty much all my WIPs feature it if both Jon and Martin are there (sometimes i'll make them queerplatonic, and sometimes they'll be part of a poly ship like jongerrymartin, but jmart tends to be pretty Do Not Separate in my mind lmao).
What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
ages ago i was reading this one rom-com webcomic where two people wound up as roommates bc the landlord accidentally rented the single apartment to both of them, which i thought was a really cute premise, but then BAM there was some really awful transphobia in it. when called out in the comments, the author doubled down, so i snatched up the concept and decided "i'm gonna make this t4t out of SPITE." but uh i've found spite doesn't work very well as a fuel source for my work, and i can get the same awkward domesticity/mutual pining out of a safehouse fic, so it'll probably just stay buried in the WIPs folder.
What are your writing strengths?
dialogue. or at least, making a character's dialogue sound like their voice. vocabulary, things like stammering or using filler words, cutting oneself off or pausing a bunch, that sort of thing. though sometimes the dialogue itself feels a little clunky. i also think i'm rather good at writing emotional scenes, especially once i'm in the editing stage of things.
What are your writing weaknesses?
over-editing. my utter beloathed. i sometimes get really caught up in trying to make everything as clear as possible, when that just makes the work 5,000 words too long and takes way more time to do. i'm trying to be better about it.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
i think it's neat! but if you're monolingual you should read up on writing bilingual/multilingual characters beforehand, don't just wing it.
First fandom you wrote for?
probably Pokémon? i'm not entirely sure.
Favorite fic you've written?
Time Enough, hands-down. (though uh, hypothetically, if i wanted to make some small edits to it, would it be weird to do so? especially seven months after posting? there's a handful of lines i wish i'd phrased a bit differently.)
tags (no pressure!!): @radical-dadical-rafael @dramaticdads @winterswrandomness @ollieofthebeholder @ladydragonkiller @incandescentis @cornmazehater @jewishjon
#tag game#friday's fics#beloved mutuals#magpie tag#re: the edits for Time Enough—i noted them all down a couple months ago#some of them are probably too minor and i won't end up changing them#but others bug me every time i re-read the thing#but also yknow it's been seven whole months and i'm like ''ehhh that's a long time maybe i should just leave it''#so i figured i'd ask you guys & get some second opinions
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favorite kingdom hearts characters. for science
WELL, gently taps the current pinned post of this blog, that one's a freebie ^__^
Anyway. BOY ranking them all is really hard bc so many characters in the series have permanently set up camp in my head by now and arent particularly inclined to leave any time soon, but if I had to list off just a couple examples that have caused me the most brain damage so far, itd be:
- Terra, hands down my number 1 most specialest guy in the whole world. Instantly became enamored with him from the moment I first set eyes on him and then proceeded to have all of my ribs carefully and meticulously pulled out of my chest one by one throughout the entirety of bbs and the entire rest of the series after that. Its so dire man I literally cannot look at any images of him now without physically having to hold myself back from making a long strangled whine Out Loud With My Mouth every time
- the entire Wayfinder Trio as a collective unit + Vanitas also tbh. Terra's obviously my Primary Favorite but the wayfinders as a whole also make my heart hurt so fucking bad man. My partner and I choose to interpret them all as siblings bc it leads to some exceptionally delicious and painful rs dynamics to explore imo and something abt it just makes The Miseries hit that much harder in ways that have literally had me writhing on the couch with a thousand yard stare rapidly cycling through the five stages of grief on loop. I'm also counting Vanitas as part of the unit bc he's just so closely tied to Ven in my brain that separating them (lol.) feels Wrong (lmao.), and. God. Vanitas might just be one of THE most tragic characters in literally any media I've experienced and I say this without a single hint of irony. The current total wordcount of the rps that I've written abt the wayfinders with my partner so far has probably shot past 50k by now. Why am I hurds
- Kairi. I was originally mostly ambivalent/neutrally intrigued abt her but kept getting increasingly more pissed abt her treatment and constant sidelining by the writing to the point where I got to kh3/mom and something in me snapped entirely, and from that moment onwards I decided to love her entirely out of spite. She instantly shot up to become one of my favorites after that and if I think abt her meta and story potential for longer than five minutes at a time I start frothing at the mouth
- Sora, naturally. I have so so so so many thoughts on this little darling boy that could easily double the wordcount of this ask just by themselves but the most important thing to mention here in lieu of that, for now, is that he's is the One (1) and ONLY child ive ever seen, whether real or fictional, that has made me experience emotions anywhere Close to resembling baby fever. I want to dribble him like a basketball but also gently pinch his cheek affectionately and also spoil him silly like a grandma seeing her beloved grandson again for the first time in months
- Xigbar. This fucko is the one I'm the most mad about ending up liking as much as I do, not because hes a bad character, absolutely far from it I fucking ADORE this terrible bodyhopping little cunt, but because it happened by complete accident after I realized he shares a lot of (surface) similarities with my favorite blorbo from another entirely unrelated franchise and I then got mad about realizing I have a very easily clockable Type (which I've affectionately dubbed the Guys That Suck category. I have more too obv but its the funniest one I have). He's also infuriatingly fun to write. Get me OUT of here
- Xemnas, Terranort and Ansem SoD. Everyone in the Nort Collective counts tbh but those three are the ones I lose sleep over the most, particularly the first two; Xemnas bc he makes me feel an unfathomably deep and haunting sense of grief (brought on by me finishing bbs and then realizing days later the exact way his creation connects to Terra's story and hearing the sound of fucking glass shattering at the back of my head instantly), and Terranort bc I'm fucking terrified of him and he also makes me want to eat gravel whenever I think abt him in context with him interacting with the rest of the wayfinders. He's also really fun to write and this fact Upsets Me. Ansem's listed bc you can never go wrong with the ol reliable mad scientist. The rest of the norts I would probably also be a lot more insane over once I actually get off my damn ass and start picking through the mobile games but that's an endeavor for Future Salty (i am very excited and terrified)
- the Lingering Will. I'm counting it as a separate entity from Terra and the rest of the Terra Collective on a technicality bc (LOUD TELEVISION STATIC AS I GESTURE FRANTICALLY AND FURIOUSLY @ THE JUMBLED BALL OF YARN LABELED "my thoughts on the physical and psychological effects of being a guy who got his soul and entire being shattered into like five million distinct pieces for over 10 Whole Entire Years" THAT I HAVE NOT EXPLAINED THE ENTIRETY OF TO A SINGLE OTHER SOUL ON EARTH) but. Eah. This fucking haunted hunk of metal has been eating holes through my brain tissue ever since I first saw the kh2 secret superboss and I'm distraught over it every single day of my life. This thing is like a weird bug to me. Do you understand. (tearign up) Do you get me. Do I have to pull out the Lingering Will/The Hollow Knight venn diagram
And as for the other fuckos haunting my cranium on the daily I can only mention a couple other honorary picks that honestly could also very well have made it to the main list if not for the fact that this post is already long enough as it is, and these following characters are therefore mostly delegated to Sleeper Agent Blorbos who I don't think about QUITE as often as the ones listed above but whenever I Do I get just as distraught and ailed over them. Anyway, shoutout to the entire Seasalt Trio, Demyx, Riku, Repliku, Naminé and Saïx and probably many others I'm forgetting rn bc it is currently 2 am and I'm running on approximately 5-6 hours of sleep and a prayer 👍 god bless and amen
#saltfish replies#empyreasheart#blinks blearily. good god this got Long i am SO fucking sorry i wrote all of this in a single mad haze#HA! YOU ACTIVATED MY AUTISM TRAP CARD#anyway. thank you so fucking much for the ask this was really fun to answer and i feel liek im about 2 seconds from passing out on the spot#kh
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Wish I could consume stories with the little amount of media literacy of the man that just came up on my fyp claiming that Mikes entire character arc is a about his love for El, that Byler is Will’s arc only and not Mike’s and that if they killed El off they’d throw away Mike’s character arc like sir none of that is remotely correct??? I swear these people watch this show with the biggest ship goggles on known to man because viewing all three characters and their arcs separately they’d see that Mike’s arc along with Will and El’s (and most of the main cast actually) are all about self identity to some extent. Not to mention the fact the entire story starts because of Mike’s determination to find Will which is spurred on by his love for him (platonic or romantic but love regardless) Its so annoying how people can’t look into the characters arcs on their own because once you do that you notice that a lot of Mike’s arc focuses on him repressing parts of himself to conform to what he thinks certain people want to see from him and he only lets these parts out when he’s with Will. Like you don’t even need to be a Byler to see Mike’s character is not solely about El it just takes having a brain and watching the show Jesus Christ.
I know exactly who you're talking about, I used to like his videos but after that one I had to unfollow because if you can't even understand the basics of the characters I don't see the value in following what you're saying about the show tbh
also if Mike's arc was only about his love for Eleven it should be completed now??? before season 5??? one of the main characters??? lmao
stranger things would have the most awfully written arc I've ever seen in a show I think...it wouldn't make any sense
and they wrote the Mothman relationship in a way that you literally can't save...
like I'm not even saying this because I ship byler I'm saying this objectively because they spent all the seasons just separating them and they never have good conversations that make you want to ship them because you are shown that they love each other.... unlike byler that has all of that!!!!
like I didn't start stranger things thinking it would have queer characters or queer relationships because I followed since 2016 and it was just a show about kids at the time so I didn't ship byler in s3 but I still heavily disliked how they handled Mike and El (because at the time I didn't understood why they were doing that to them)
I thought they were making them unlikable as a couple in s3 and I was right, they were making them unlikable because they are not compatible!!!!
also holy shit Will's arc is about accepting himself YES but it is also about believing that he's worthy to be loved too!
they made him say "I'm not gonna fall in love" in season 3 for this exact reason.... because he was already in love with Mike but what he meant with that was "I'm never going to be in a relationship because I'm gay"... they are setting up a surprise for him in season 5!
He believes that Mike already rejected him in the fight in s3 and now with the van speech and seeing Mike say ily to Eleven... 3 times!!!!
he doesn't think he has ANY chance with Mike... how do people think that this will just be resolved with Mike saying "sorry buddy but I love you only as a friend! "
that would be just awful storytelling and it wouldn't make any sense!
also they left open the lie about the painting
at the end of the season Mike and El literally don't talk to each other on screen.... after a freaking love monologue??? she didn't respond to him, they didn't even talk about their fight... like... cmon!!!!
HELLOOOO?!?!?! WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT?????
either byler is canon (and it is) or the stranger things writers are on HEAVY drugs
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