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#THINKING ABOUT IT GIVES ME HEART BURN
kattitude130 · 4 months
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I LOVE TESTAMENT AND THEIR CHARACTER ARC SO MUCH IT GIVES ME THE STRENGTH TO BITE THROUGH METAL RAAAAAAAAAUAUUUUUUGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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averlym · 8 months
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litany of the martyrs (click for better resolution!)
#at some point i wanted to make an illustration for each character but in retrospect maybe each is multiple song-coded..#drew the sketch for a quincy thing after a chat with a mutual reminded me this song existed dfsghjkl and then spent weeks rendering this#quincy cynthius martin#adamandi#i'm finally done with this! the saints especially were joys to paint and the halo a menace.... this has been the most ambitious one so far.#but it also took quite long because i only worked on it <engages with quincy> when mentally okay to deal with the themes. i'm not religious#but i do identify with the irrational(?ish) guilt + family legacy + academic achievement + disregard for self. also more complex thoughts#about love [but depsite quincent being a large part of quincy's character this piece deals with mostly the Rest of it. so another time..]#anyways! in the original sketch- the saints had heads bent towards quincy so the halo spikes pointed at him. but this worked better! halos#of the saints implying/creating one for quincy was a concept from the start though. in the show they don't touch him directly here but#differences in mediums i think- i don't have time in an image to craft a narrative so everything has to be happening. also artistic liberty#misc inspiration for this includes stained glass windows. i might have maybe misinterpreted the saint costume but i think i logic-ed it out#as the cloth part following a nun's habit w the hood. and then halo above. the material is also more transparent originally but i had. um.#too much fun painting fabric folds.. if you look closely you can see the basis of faces though behind the cloth; but only the vague shapes#because smth obscurity + inhumanness// cassian is the only one i gave a mouth though. that stems from melliot's post about the saints and#st cassian as spokesperson (<- did research teehee!) that's also how i found out which costume = which saint. speaking of which.#left to right: 'st lucy take my hand' // 'st lawrence give me strength' (presses quincy forward; but hand on shoulder connotates guidance)#/'st cassian help me smile' (quincy's mouth is btwn a grimace and a smile; tilts up at side. also no direct touch bc added insidiousness.)#//'st jude [...] i hope your causes burn' (jude's hand is in two places to show movement- nearing the flame and then snatching back; burnt)#other notes: at the midst of the flame the core is shaped like a human heart /the saints and their wax are all melting like the candle for#fun visual effect and also this way they are even less tangible <real>. perks of painting as a medium i guess. // also insp from icarus?#wax and burning imagery; looking at the halo and rays as parallel to sun that burns. too close to the sun; melting; hurting; hurtling //#candles at bottom are a nod to the frankly gorgeous set// also the entire composition kind of stems from the lyric <what use is a candle if#both ends aren't burning>; the two sides between the concepts of catholic guilt and academic perfection that spur quincy#the halo above (saints and guilt; litanyofthemartyrs) and the 'halo' below (academic papers; insp from choreo for perfect at school)#the papers were originally supposed to be more glowy. but i like the idea of it now being a reflection of how quincy's priorities shift#also of note is that <candle> in centre = quincy; w burning candle + aforementioned heart in flame -> most human; idea of love + passion#last thoughts: kneeling + hands close tgt = prayer //wax dripping onto the red As make an effect that looks like blood. because i like#hiding that within the adamandi pieces :OO continuity!! // i've run out of tags but yeah! had fun with this one! every so often i go a#little insane in making art and the final result astounds even me. ngl i'm quite proud of this one. pretty colours <3333
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darth-sonny · 1 year
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everyone talks about future peepaw leo (understandable really, i do too), but i kinda wanna talk about future leo in the early years of the apocalypse
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alvojake · 2 months
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I realized something today that if I were to go back and watch Kingdom I wouldn't be able to vote for anyone 😭 (I was only a skz stan atp) now I would rather jump off the tallest building into a burning pit of lava then ever choose now (as I'm now an ateez, skz and tbz stan.....)
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todayisafridaynight · 11 months
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obsessed with my non-rgg friend trying to bribe me into playing imessage 8ball with kiryu boob
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kitsunegdx · 2 years
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Pretty people
Thinking bout… pretty people. Just pretty, you know?
Pretty people I’ve dated and their scars and little quirks.
Pretty people I’m friends with who got smiles and voices that brighten my day.
Pretty people who got big friends groups to form a functional human being and look out for each other.
Pretty people who live in my head rent free metaphorically and literally.
I am also thinking of pretty people who just know how to appreciate small things in life to help make the world a lil happier for themselves. I don’t think they know that makes them extra pretty.
Pretty people who got eyes and don’t have eyes. Any color even it brings them all together
Pretty people who’s minds are perceiving the horrors while they act like it’s normal. Those pretty people are more common than you think.
Pretty people who got little features that culminate to make them whole be it stuff they can control like how they style their hair, to stuff they can’t, like having an extra finger.
Pretty people who aren’t people at all. Those are in my head too.
Pretty people can come in many different forms be it size, shape, voices, from a stranger on a subway to even text on a screen.
Pretty people are all around us, it’s a matter of taking in the small stuff that makes them whole.
Why are people so pretty?
Why are you so pretty?
#uh oh kit’s in love with all her friends at once again#I’m just- *sigh* it’s hard thinking about the homies and wondering if they appreciate themselves the way I see them#I have vagued a few but… man why are people so pretty?#I want to just hold them and wonder about it…#might pin this#so all my friends and mutuals can see#to ramble a bit I have friends with burn scars on their body that I find pretty- ex lovers now friends who feel not enough#in the bodies they have but it’s like- bro I just think you are so pretty I want to accent that natural beauty you have#man I wanna help my friends feel pretty in their body but alas I’m a college student#don’t tell one of them but I’m hoping that when I get my career that I can put money to the side to help her get the presentation of gender#that she wants like- I just wanna help them so much bro to see that I am out here with a heart full of love and pockets I’m working on fill-#ing to help them figure out how pretty they are#*sigh* this probably doesn’t make sense but I just think they are so pretty like- all of them#even my mutuals be pretty too with words n just hanging around like- I fucking see you bro#i’m in my feels#I’m feelin this bro#I want to like- so badly hold and hug them all like- even if you don’t like hugs I will stand to the side and give you the most approving#thumbs up I can because I fuckin love them bro they are my homies they have been with me through#thicc and thin and thick again like- AAAA#I just really love them they are my besties and like I wanna sob maybe cry a little over how much I love the#them they are just so much good people and I care for them a lot#this post doesn’t make a lot of sense but they are so good#Also pretty is the only word I can use to describe people and it means so much when I use it#it isn’t just that they are pretty they bring me joy beyond belief and I wanna cry
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tipsywench · 4 months
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once again having to figure out wtf to do with my life and its like maybe I should just quit chasing a degree and career and go become an old chain-smoking prostitute or something i dont know anymore
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toomuchdickfort · 6 months
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Vent abt smth that gets on my Nerves
#tried bringing up to mom like. hey how could I bring up coming out to family. and she was like visibly uncomfortable so I was like dw I’m no#gonna like try to ruin Christmas with it or some shit I’m just. nervous u see. and I’m sat there anxiety rambling abt it because oh my god.#and she pulls out the fucking. ‘can’t you just be a person?’ mom I am a person already. the problem is. the PROBLEM IS. EVERYONE THINKS I AM#AND THUS TREATS ME AS A GIRL. like oh my god.#vent#it’s not a huge vent like if it comes up I’m not gonna Lie moms discomfort abt the matter be damned.#but like. ‘can’t you just be a person’ is what she says every fucking time it comes up. like mom. mother. mi madre. do you realize how much#of an insult that feels like when you say it EVERY TIME I bring up trans anxieties. or dysphoria. or any of the ways my transness affects my#life. like being trans doesn’t make me less of a person oh my god. but also frankly I don’t have the patience to be nice about getting into#things and I don’t have the heart to hurt her about it and even if I did have one of those I don’t have the patience to hold her hand#through all this shit. like I gave up having mom on this journey ages ago do you know how painful it is to un-give up on something that#immense. it’s hard and it hurts and it burns and it’s like. giving up to begin with didn’t hurt too bad- it’s cutting off the festering#wound. but. but then. you find out that. you can in fact work with that. and suddenly you have to try and clean the wound. care for it and#wrap it and do it all over again. and god it hurts. and. I’m not entirely sure I want to un-give up all the way on this? it’s. a lot#like I get and I appreciate that she’s trying to do. something. in theory at least. she avoids the subject when I bring it up and all but#cringed when I brought up coming out to her side of the family. she calls me my deadname and her daughter more than she did before she said#she would try. and I don’t have the energy to uncover that wound enough to start cleaning it. I’m just letting it sit there because frankly#it’ll be such a huge thing because it’s Always a huge thing when I don’t let the subject drop mega fast and I’m. I know she’s not gonna cut#me off for just being trans but GOD I want to keep ONE of my parents in my fucking life when I’m able to stand on my own two feet holy shit#and. man. it appears this is. still more of a thing than I thought it was. thats. annoying and inconvenient
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juusasu4evagrrl · 1 year
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Genuine question, does anyone want to hear about naruto from the prospective of a Liberian person grappling with the generational trauma of a brutal civil war or is that too heavy??
Like there's, I like sasuke cause he's a cool dude, very wholesome do tell, and then there's, I like sasuke cause the government also tried to eradicate my people group that one time and holding empathy for that dumbass kid teaches me to examine a my own experiences with compassion, honestly what a downer like who cares.
I don't know thoughts???
#do i even wanna speak on it#maybe i should just rewatch pray the devil back to hell give my dad a hug and tell him how proud i am of him#on second thought#maybe we should go the naruto route#like i promise their are a lot of wacky connections between the warfare in naruto and the liberian civil war#general butt naked eating hearts kakuzu also eating hearts#Samuel doe ( may he rest in pieces in someones digestive track while his soul burns in hell) and danzo#the thing i like about connecting fandom to my life is that it teaches me thing that provide empathy in spaces where it did not naturally#exist but the thing is i dont want to have empathy for a lot of those hos and i think thats valid actually#i think its important to bring our personal live into fandom though cause its all we really have#idek i think it would be best to keep the real world seperate from fandom in this case but#my dad just completed a trip to Liberia for the first time in 30 years (round of applause pls) for the first time since the war has ended#a confilct that started when he was my age (younger actually) and ended a month after my birth and has left so much instability who knows#if its ever really over#were all struggling to come to terms with the Liberia left behind by those events the family and friends we leave behind#and i feel like it would be easier to talk project it all onto stupid lil alien ninja wars instead of talking about it irl#i love sasuke cause i deeply relate to his struggle even though im a generation removed#but i feel like this fandom would not be receptive to the way i would disscuss his character if i made that connection in an analysis#so maybe ill just stew in my emotions a little longer and when i go back to Liberia this summer wth the fam ill decide weather to make#that post or not onece and for all#no that'll be perfect actually cause then i'll be able to make it a post for liberian independence day#ughhh like i don't be wanna talk about it irl but i don't feel this would be a good outlet either#naruto commentary in relation to the liberian civil war sounds like a dope essa but should i write it???#probably not but we'll just have to see#thoughts feelings opinions?? any other Liberian naruto fans on here??? pleas siblings put some sense in me#naruto#not naruto#god i don't even wanna make this post lets see how long she stays up#im writing too many naruto analysies rn anyways lemme worry about that first
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authenticaussie · 8 months
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I think the reason I'm enjoying writing core4 so much is it's just, a bunch of only-child children with non-traditional family dynamics who are so sibling coded/we're roommates and have been for the past 63,136 years. DELIGHTFUL to me. They're all so goddamn stupid. I have decided Kon says traumatic things about Cadmus and Cassie/Tim/Bart turn to each other and play rock-paper-scissors for who gets to be angry about it this time.
#superheroes#bip bop nari drops#core4#kon: ....what are you doing#tim: well if all of us get mad we're gonna storm the place and burn down a bunch of shit and get in trouble#cassie: SO the deal is only one of us is allowed to be mad. and we bury it deep in our heart to be traumatized about it forever ❤️#kon: it's not that traumatic!!! i was just talking about watching tv!!!#bart: -pats him on the shoulder- aw bud. let it out#kon: WHAT'S TRAUMATIC ABOUT LEARNING ABOUT FAMILY THROUGH WATCHING TV#tim: oh boy I'm so tapping out of this one we are getting Way too uncomfortably close to my shit#**caveat that i dont think Tim's inherently traumatized by his parents/dont think theyre Terrible they're just#**bad at being parents. well-meaning but Too Many Expectations and also were not really. MEANT to be parents. did it because it was expecte#not because they actually wanted a kid. and so they were like. yeah! we'll be cool parents. give him freedom and stuff.#but then when he's wildly independent and kinda a brat because they're not PARENTS and he barely knows them#they're like how can you treat us like that we're your PARENTS#anyway i think complex relationships are fun!!!!! love a good Sad Tim fic but. oooo the complex dynamics of not hating your parents#because you didn't even have them. my beloved#they're dead and you love them because all you can remember is when they were there - but how often were they there?#mwah it fascinates me. he's a latchkey kid and social dynamics have changed since his first comic!!!! augh!!!#anyway inherent fascinating tim & kon & cassie & bart family relationships#i like thinking all of them have just Little things they can't handle about kon's Pod Facts without being sad
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animationismycomfort · 4 months
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don’t hate the show I think it’s fun but I prefer movie turbo
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weepingfireflies · 1 year
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Bottom-tier Character Tomozaki is for the mentally ill and neurodivergent babes don't @ me
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Ok roommate update just bc she throws a tantrum doesn’t mean she gets her way! Housing isn’t making me sign off on a new agreement bc she signed the first one and had ample opportunities to say she wanted things changed as we filled it out
#housing just hates her so bad actually. and I mean. i was going to be like hey she signed off on it that’s on her#but housing did it for me! it’s amazing. she’s moving out after this semester#speaking of housing hates her. my 2 friends here r really good friends with a bunch of ras (mine included) and the other day one texts me#and she’s like. ur roomie is so irritating my group chat is going off about it. so she came to visit to show me the exchange#for context roomie called the ra on call to cry about her key getting stuck in the door#if the key isn’t flat it doesn’t come out of the door. she knows this. bc it happened so many times the first week she moved in#so housing knowing her says ok we’ll help but you’ll have to pay the lockout fee. and then the key magically works!#so later when me and my friend r home she rings the doorbell and I thought it was my ra#and then it’s her. and she’s like my key is stuck :((((#and I look at it it’s on an angle. so im I give it a half hearted pull and im like call housing#bc I knew she’d have to pay a lockout fee and I (along with many ras) think she should pay a ’ur wasting my time fee’#but my friend takes one look at it pulls it out to make her look dumb#which. in my personal opinion doesn’t do anything bc she plays dumb#and she’s like to me could u have gotten it out? and I’m like yeah I could’ve but I shouldn’t keep having to fix problems you can fix urself#and she gets all huffy and she’s like sorry for being such a burden to you#and it’s like. girl. you act like an idiot for attention. and the second there’s consequences you back down#but god knows not without trying to guilt trip someone! she’s draining the last bit of my humanity#i have never met someone so universally hated it’s crazy#i swear she’s only transferring next semester bc she burned every single bridge here#also? that little fit she threw a week or two ago? hasn’t spoken a word on it since. I’d wager it’s bc housing told her it’s on her#the other night she tells me. ‘oh by the way. you’re allowed to make noise tonight. I’m staying up all night’ and I’m like. allowed???#what r u my mother??? I’m gonna make sound in my apartment. I’m soo sorry you call every available number every time theres a breeze outside#and the day my friend was over! ‘you’re allowed to stay past 1am if you want. I’ll be up all night’ my friend who cannot hold her tongue#goes oh allowed? are you my mother? thanks mom!#objectively hilarious but she probably shouldn’t have said it#u might think I just sound super mean but I have 0 tolerance for bs and she’s made of it#she’s drained every single bit of niceness in my body after her little tantrum#and also reading the texts she’s sent to my ra about me <3#that’s the update bc I hit 30 tags 🫠#soup talks
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joycrispy · 9 months
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I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.
Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."
Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.
Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.
Something like this:
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We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--
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--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.
But it turns out he was this:
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!!!
With his curly little--!!
And his neat white--!!
IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:
"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."
(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)
In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.
In sum...an innocent.
(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.
We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.
Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)
So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--
*checks notes*
--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.
...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.
All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?
He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.
That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...
...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.
Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."
And what reason does he give?
("I know you."
"You do not know me."
"I know the angel you were.")
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
("The angel you knew is not me."
But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)
tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.
'Innocence died screaming' and all that.
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hamable · 9 months
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Staring proud at the 10 final versions of Astrom Club instrumentals that I’ve QAed and approved:
:D
The ones I left for last bc they’re gonna need Attention (and are the reason I keep delaying the album):
>:(
#EVEN FUCKING RALLY IS DONE. I REFUSE TO KEEP TOUCHING IT OR ILL NEVER LET IT GO. ITLL ALWAYS BE MISSING SOMETHING BUT I GOTTA STOP#It’s just grumblegrumblegrumble Ik for a fact Langley family tree isn’t where I want it to be#and I think there was a fundamental problem last time I checked Feed From The Biting Hand but maybe I was in a bad mood that day#then I gotta just quick check neon lights reprise; make some noise Astrom Club!; andddd OH#Might fully rework More of Me to Give with some updated instruments cause I haven’t touched it since I was still in musescore/GarageBand era#but weirdly Welcome To Maple Ridge still holds up and it was the og. Musescore instruments and all.#big banger theory has held out too. although I started feeling iffy about the beginning. but instrumentals gotta instrumental ig#really proud of how Let it Burn held up. made some updates that really rounded it out#drive is and always has been 👌👌👌👌#OOOOO QUEEN OF HEARTS KICKS ASS IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT ONE#Total departure from the rest of the album and it OWNS IT#Neon lights is still catchy#that’s about it???#I think something is something needs a quick touch up but that one should be good#oh fuck#I still haven’t written the instrumental for Look Up.#honestly it was a last minute song to begin with and even though it’s important. it’s not like I’m releasing the whole cast album anyways#I might save that for if I do ever record a whole cast album#it’s very vocal harmony heavy anyways I’d just be struggling to convey the music in their absence#similar story with Langley family I might just drop it. Make Some Noise is similar but has enough energy to work w/o vocals for now#Astrom club#astrom club musical#astrom club the musical#go back in time and convince me from three years ago that I’d write and compose an entire musical I dare you
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lymtw · 1 month
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Toji in a fresh relationship with you, where he notices how uncomfortable and anxious you are when you're alone with him. You can't hold his gaze without giggling nervously and blushing like crazy, and you can't stand when you can feel him watching you. It doesn't bother him. He usually meets your little giggle fits with a "what're you giggling about now? Huh?" a smirk on his face as he watches you try to compose yourself.
You noticed through your peripheral vision that Toji is looking at you. Your heart starts beating faster and faster, but you try to focus on the movie, anyway. Toji knows you caught on to him watching you, though. He saw your quick little side eye towards him before going back to the movie.
"Loosen up," his deep voice interrupts your "focused" bearing. "Why're you so nervous?" His hand settles on your knee, his thumb slowly stroking the area. It was meant to soothe your nerves, but really it just made your stomach errupt with butterflies.
"I'm okay," you say, your mouth incredibly dry. You turn your head as he scoots closer to you on the couch. "'M I okay to sit here?" He asks, watching the way you pull your hand away from between you and him, into your lap. His hand returns on you, this time on your thigh.
"You're shaking," he points out with a knowing smile on his face.
You have to think for a second before responding. Your ears were buzzing, your heart would not settle, you were truly in a daze whenever Toji was around.
"Just a little cold," you lie. "I'm fine, though." You return the soft smile, turning your focus back to the movie.
"Then, come here. What are you sitting so far from me for?" He puts an arm over your shoulders, pulling you tight against him.
Your body goes rigid in his hold. He's like a furnace, and the heat emmanating from his body was enough to make you feel like you were overheating. His scent was wet dream fuel—intoxicating and addicting. It was strong enough for you to start manifesting his appearance in your dreams, with the most lewd and unholy intentions.
His fingers stroked your arm, eliciting goosebumps on your forearms and your thighs. He can tell your attention isn't on the movie anymore. Your leg is bouncing, your knee occasionally knocking against his.
"What are you so nervous about, sweetheart? C'mon, talk to me." You can hear the amusement in Toji's tone. He pauses the movie, demanding your attention, but you don't even know where to start. There are so many things and yet you can't get a single one of them out.
"You don't like hanging out alone with me?"
"I do," you answer, instantly, trying to avoid hurting his feelings. You clasp your hands together in an attempt to relax.
"Then what's the problem, pretty?" He watches as you sit quietly, looking down at your lap. "Look at me." Your eyes slowly meet his, the eye contact giving you the illusion of being swallowed whole. "What is it?"
Your hands unclasp and your fingers start fidgeting with one another. "You're very attractive..." you mumble, basically inaudible to Toji.
"One more time for me, doll," he says, asking you to repeat yourself. He leans in to listen closely.
"You're... very attractive," you hesitantly repeat, this time with enough volume for Toji to hear you.
He's trying so hard not to laugh at how embarrassed you look at your admission, but it's not possible when you look so ashamed for saying it out loud.
"You're attracted to me, so you shrink?" He asks, the wide smile left behind from his laughter not diminishing.
You nod, your hands coming up to your face to cool down your burning cheeks. Toji finds the glossiness in your eyes adorable.
"So, I'm the one scaring you?"
"No...? I don't know..." You look away from Toji.
"You don't know." Toji chuckles. He knows it's him, but he won't let up because he's having a damn good time making you coil in on yourself. "Let me tell you something, doll face." He turns his whole body towards you, his leg bent on the couch. The movement causes you to lean back, adding space between you and him. His eyes flit between your eyes and your lips. "You are stunning. There's way too much to appreciate on that little mug of yours." He grins at the blush on your cheeks. "There's no need to be so shy around me. I'm not gonna eat you." He leans in again, taking up the whole space you made between you and him. "At least not yet."
Your heart dropped to your guts. You weren't sure you'd make it through the night without having a heart attack.
"You wanna kiss me, don't you?" His eyes center on yours, and you giggle, a valid response to his question. He smirks knowing the meaning behind your reaction. "I have eyes, babe. There's really no use denying it."
The closer he moves towards you, the more you feel like screaming. You know a good scream would relieve a whole lot of tension for you, but what would that look like to Toji?
"I-I do..."
"Come closer, then. Why are you leaning away?" He lets out a deep chuckle. "I'll lead if you want."
"Fine," you surrender.
Toji sighs, contentedly. "Just don't move. I'm serious, pretty girl. You move, and i'll bring the cuffs out."
You crack a grin, one that evolves into a laugh after a few seconds.
"Kidding, ma. Just wanted to make you laugh." He grins.
You don't even notice how close he's sitting until you stop laughing. You stare at each other in silence, his eyes flitting between your eyes and your lips again.
"Just relax and-"
You lean in this time, your hands coming up to cup his cheeks. It's like a zap of electricity to your entire body when you feel his lips against yours. They're warm, and surprisingly soft. He doesn't shove his tongue into your mouth, which you're grateful for. That's for later on. You just couldn't wait any longer. Waiting was making you even more anxious, so you dived into the moment.
"Oh, sweetheart," he almost groans. "You'll drive me insane if you keep up the shy girl act," he mutters against your lips. "I know you want me like I want you, so quit making me beg." He moved closer towards you, knowing you'd back away, eventually meeting a dead end with your back against the couch armrest. Your eyes told him everything he needed to know. You were lusting over him and you wanted him to get you.
You looked up at him with starry eyes, your cunt throbbing at the way he watched you closely. You watched as he quickly invaded your personal space, his body wedged between your legs, making them spread wider to accomodate his size difference.
"What are you so scared of? Don't you want me?" His hands fiddled with the hem of your shirt. His knuckles grazed your lower abdomen a couple times, making your heart race.
"I-I do, Toji." Your focus went to his crotch rubbing up against you as he leaned in.
"Yeah, you do?" He purred beneath your ear, allowing his lips to meet the sensitive skin of your neck after.
"Fuck," you whimper. "I do."
"You wet for me?" He asks, moving his lower body enough to make you believe he's just balancing himself, but still giving you the friction that's making you lose your composure.
"Mhm," you hum, breathing erratically as he kisses up the column of your neck, towards your chin.
"Can I check?" He murmurs, nipping at your jawline. You shut your eyes, your teeth nibbling on your bottom lip as another blissed out "mhm" leaves you.
His hand slides down your waist, moving towards the center of your stomach where he continues sliding down until his fingers go under your pants' waistband. He feels the elastic band of your underwear, his fingers maneuvering beneath it as well. You gasp when you feel his fingers dip lower until he's tracing your slippery folds. His dick twitches at the amount of arousal drooling out of you.
"You're bad, mama." He sighs, listening to your little breaths as he teases you. How long had you been turned on to be this wet? "Were you gonna keep this from me had I not been so persistent?" His middle and index fingers glide up and down your slit.
You let out a moan when he started rubbing your clit, his rough pads giving you more friction than anything you've ever felt.
"Answer me." His dark, green eyes bore into your closed ones. "Were you gonna get yourself off once I left?"
"Y-Yes! Yes, Toji," you cried out, writhing beneath him. "Didn't wanna tell you. It's embarrassing," you whine.
He chuckles. "That why you were on edge earlier? 'Cause you were on the edge of cumming, untouched?"
You nod, rolling your eyes open to meet his gaze. Your lust-filled gaze made chills run up his spine, the sight borderline sinful. He cups your jaw with his free hand, his grip tight as he stares into your constellation eyes. "Look at me like that again and i'll fuck you 'til you can't see straight. You hear me?" He was fighting the urge to bust his load into his jeans. It was already hard enough having to watch you as you fell apart on his fingers, but now you were giving him "fuck me" eyes, and it got ten times harder.
His threat only brought your orgasm closer. He had never spoken to you that way before. It had your stomach filling to the brim with butterflies, but you responded with a moaned "uh-huh", anyway.
"T-Toji, I'm gonna cum. More, please," you whimpered.
"Aren't you a sensitive little thing? Didn't even have to finger you to make you cum."
"Oh, fuck-" you cry out, cut off by Toji's hand.
"Shh... I know, I know, sweet girl," he coos, his fingers teasing you down at your entrance. "Gonna cum? Make a pretty mess on my fingers, hm?" He mumbles, his lips returning to your neck.
You hum, sultrily. Your arms are stretched above your head, your nails digging into the armrest of the couch. You arch your back off the cushions, loud gasps released into the air when Toji releases his hold on your mouth. You slowly roll your hips into Toji's hand, chasing the friction against your cunt.
"Fuck, baby. You feeling yourself?" His cock is throbbing at the sight of you looking so careless. Your face is aimed up, your lips parted as you release all the sounds of pleasure that you're capable of. His fingers go back up to your clit, the pad of his middle finger rubbing rapidly at the nub. It was driving you insane, how close you were to cumming on his fingers. Your stomach caved with every breath you inhaled and your whole body trembled as you treaded over the edge of your devastingly powerful orgasm.
Toji watched as you writhed beneath him, his lidded eyes taking in your contorted features as you cried out in overwhelming pleasure. He leaned in to kiss up your neck again, really just wanting to be closer to the source of the sounds filling the room. "So fuckin' pretty," he trilled into your jaw. Your soft little grunts reached his ears, turning to whines as you tried to wriggle away from the stimulation. He didn't miss the way your thighs clamped around his torso, signaling that his touch was getting to be too much. "Alright, alright. Had enough?"
You nod, a huff leaving you as he slowly takes his hand out of your underwear.
You sigh after catching your breath, feeling enlightened and satisfied. You giggle when you see Toji's staring at you. "What?"
"It's gonna be my mouth next time." His hands are on your hips, massaging deep circles into the material of your pants. "M gonna taste you on my tongue, and I want all that wetness on my lips and your cum all over my face, instead of my fingers."
"You're so vulgar, Toji," you say, with a smile on your face. You're unaware of how big the hearts in your eyes are when you look at this man.
He sighs as he lays down on you, his body weighing you down. He looks up at you, his chin resting on your chest. "How can you expect any different when you look like hell's favorite sinner when you cum?" He exhales through his nose, thinking of the look on your face as unraveled beneath him. It's now engraved in his mind. His dick could become a huge problem if he thinks about it for too long. "For real, doll, I wanna see that again but with my face between your legs."
You giggle to yourself, wishing the comment didn't have you blushing like you were. Your whole body was heating up.
"You're not gonna run when I get close to you next time, right? Gonna be a good girl for me?" He smirks at the twitch of your thighs around him.
"No, i'll be good. I promise."
"That's right, baby. I'll be looking forward to it," he says before burying his face into your breasts.
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