the ongoing show has healed my heart enough that I'm looking at the show that has been burning a hole in my skull for a decade like 🥰

hi I've missed you, can't wait to remember why I hate this show in about (checks watch) two minutes

some human(-ish?) redraws from ep 5

Courtroom Catastrophe [Bonus Comic]

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Felix x VOGUE France

So, so many queer people, I've noticed, can put themselves in precarious situations wherein they feel accepted by people and the queer person would do anything for those who accept them, even if it is harmful to them, even if it is scary. It feels like you are indebted to those who accept you because you know that isn't the case for every person you meet. To so many queer people, they are afraid to upset others who accept them (or "accept" them) because they are so scared of rejection. This is completely human and completely normal. But that doesn't mean you deserve to be taken advantage of. You deserve to be treated as an equal because you inherently are an equal - to everybody.

Please know that the people who truly, truly respect and care for you will understand when you can't do everything. They will still respect you, because you are a human being. Saying "no" is neutral at worst. You deserve to honour yourself, too.

Stunt Double • July 2021.

Facing you, I am tidally locked. I am not yet caught in orbit. I want to be a body for you. Know this: I am only as good as you are willing to be to me. There is nothing but the sound of the mirror shattering. No light between us but the sound of the mirror. To me, there is nothing. I am only as good as you are willing to be. For you know this: I want to be a body caught in orbit, tidally locked. I am not yet facing you. (I am.)

I love toxic queer characters I love queer characters who are allowed to do terrible things and be complex and fucked up I love queer characters who perpetuate abuse and trauma I love queer characters who contribute to cycles of abuse I love queer characters who are part of the systems that harm queer people I love queer characters who have internalized ideas that are harmful to or oppose queerness I love queer characters who make themselves a slave to their passion I love queer characters who force themselves into stereotypes and others ideas of being queer I love queer characters who are flawed and messy and problematic

I also love when queer characters have to reckon with their flaws I love when queer characters have to unlearn their own prejudice and hate to truly be liberated I love when queer characters are punished for their bad choices I love when queer characters work to change and make amends I love when queer characters break cycles of abuse I love when queer characters grow and learn I love when queer characters get to be complex and human and get to grow and heal and also cause harm because people and their life experiences aren’t perfect and linear and unproblematic and life is too complicated and all encompassing to make simple and clear and inherently good and moral

I love when queer characters aren’t denied the true multifaceted and all-encompassing and real reality of life

Imo saying Jon won't care that he's half Targ because he has "nothing to do with that house" is a not only very simplistic way of viewing his arc but also just a flat out wrong and bad take. Like my brothers and sisters in R'hllor, he has everything to do with that house even though he may not bear the name! Jon is constantly equated with Targs in the series. In fact, he's constantly equated with the best that house has to offer. He's got Jaehaerys and Alysanne in him, he's directly paralleled with Maester Aemon and Aegon V, he transforms into Daeron the Good at the Wall, and he's basically best boy Jacaerys resurrected some 200 years later. Let's also not forget that he's best girl Dany's 1:1 narrative mirror. Jon's personality is what you get when you combine Daemon the Rogue Prince, a little bit of Maekar I, Egg, a teaspoon of Rhaegar, a few sprinkles of Baelor Breakspear, and a whole cup of Jaehaerys. He has the heroism of Aemon the Dragonknight, the innate leadership of Aegon the Conqueror, the youthful foolhardy of Daeron the Young Dragon, and the aggressive pettiness of Prince Daemon. He's got Daemon Blackfyre's nobility and Brynden Rivers' terrifying pragmatism. His rebirth is literally equated to the waking of a dragon ("two kings to wake the dragon", "promised prince born amidst salt and smoke"). He has both the good and the bad that comes with House Targaryen. He also has the good and bad of House Stark, but no one ever thinks less of him for that... Y'all let Targ hate and Rhaegar hate (both of which are just extensions of Dany hate lbr) cloud your judgement and ignore what's right in front of you. Jon is a Targ. The same way he is a Stark. He's not either or, he's both. The lesson at the end of the day isn't for him to choose one or the other. The lesson is to recognize that he so much of BOTH in him, and he can take these and become whatever he wants - bastard as he is.

Not ultrakill related for once- I finally finished an oil painting I've been working on for a while! (Reference was this image of the Pillars of Creation.) 12 hours of oil painting is way too many hours of oil painting for my adhd ass why do I keep doing this to myself

(the weirdly dark part by the stars is just wet paint... I'm too impatient to wait for it to dry before posting it x.x)

progress pics under the cut bc I like looking at them

each photo was taken after a 2-hour painting session

My absolute favorite thing about your blog, even more favorite that Vachete, is the care and interest you put into each response. Be it an ask or an art piece, you always eloquently break down each individual aspect and comment on them. It always makes me smile.

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kirishima has always been looked at as strong and commanding—always larger than life and in control—so he has no idea what to do when he’s pined underneath you and at the mercy of the way you play his body like a well-tuned instrument.

he’s out of his depth and feels half out of his mind as the tip of your tongue drags over his hip bone. you’re touching him everywhere—fingers bruising against his waist, his thighs, his calves—he knows that you are taking from him in a way that no one has ever, and he’s giving all of it to you willingly.

“b-baby,” and it’s stuttered and breathless as he feels your teeth sink into the skin of his inner thigh—he fights the urge to harden his skin subconsciously over the pain because it’s so good and he wants to feel all of it—

“so good, Eij—“ you coo into his skin, dragging the plush of your lips over the trails of raised, reddened skin your nails leave behind as you move down his body, “you’re so good, letting me play with you like this.”

to his shock, his hips kick at your works, completely enthralled by the notion of being a play thing for you—of giving in, of going soft for the first time in his life—

he feels your fingers dig into the muscle of his calves and has to shut his eyes so you don’t see them roll back into his head. the foreignness of his own submission is wearing off now—replaced by the heavy, slippery feeling of needing you, of leaning into this space where he can just be worshipped by you and know that you will be there to hold him through it.

you climb back up his body and he savors the feeling of your weight on him—pressing him into the sheets, the tension in him bleeding out from where your skin meets his—and he lets out a pitiful whine when your nails scrape over the taut muscles of his belly. can’t help it when his hips buck into yours, but feels the need to apologize anyway, because what’s happening right now feels so far removed from his own base desire to be buried inside you. this feels too refined, like more luxury than he deserves, and he feels like a neanderthal.

“it’s okay Eij,” you reassure him, and something inside him goes molten at the way you forgive him, love him— “i know it feels good. you can take what you need to, my love.”

and he shakes his head at that, frantically, because he doesn’t want to take. he doesn’t want control of this—he wants you to hold his pride in your hands and turn it into something malleable and fluid. he can’t trust himself to speak—he presses his palms into the bed and tips his head back, baring his throat to you, just hoping, begging you to understand—

he feels you take one of his hands in yours, feels you bring it to your face and press your smile into the inside of his wrist, nipping at the sensitive skin, sucking it into your mouth gently and laving your tongue over it.

“i see,” you murmur, and it sends a shudder up his spine so violent he feels his toes curl. your eyes rake over his body as you drag your free hand up his chest. he has to remember how to breathe when your fingers circle around the base of his throat.

“you’re such a good boy, Eijiro.”

The way people write John in fic bothers me so much sometimes. Not to judge other people’s writing specifically, just the general fanon characterization of John Winchester. Yes he’s bad a father. Horrible. So much to unpack there. Yet I find it so disappointing when I go to read a fic and he’s like. Cartoonishly villainous. Excluding the fans that actually like John (which is even more crazy), it feels like everyone treats him as like this big bad one dimensional monster which imo is a disservice to the complex relationship Sam and Dean have with them. It’s also a symptom of a broader pattern in media, or even real world events. It’s so much easier to flatly paint anyone bad as inhuman, one dimensional, and just plain evil. Monstrous. But the reality is, every horrible person is still a person. Humans are capable of the evil we do, not monsters.

So when it comes to John, like yes, he is deeply deeply flawed. He really hurt his kids. But often when people write him, it feels like he makes all of his terrible decisions for the sake of being mean and terrible and abusive, which undermines the dynamic because the reality is people can be abusive or neglectful or toxic without being a complete monster 100% of time. It would almost be easier for Sam and Dean if John had actually been like that. But he was their father, who did what he thought was best, and loved them even if he didn’t show it. They have fond memories with him. He’s their father. Which is what makes it so hard for them to actually unpack the trauma they have, because it is so so difficult to realize a person you love is actually actively hurting you. Harder than realizing a villain in your life is just being a villain.

Love that the fanbase is reaching "I didn't like the ending so it mustn't have been real" levels of delusion in less than a week. The johnlock conspiracy would be proud

Life is good despite the horrors. Life is good despite the horrors!!!