Main-line Hatchetfield shows: “This person is terrible. Completely and utterly repugnant. A puppy-kicker to the highest degree”

Nightmare Time: “So anyway, here's their tragic backstory-”

Its so funny that Arin and Sora have shown to have significantly better emotional intelligence than any of the ninja from all of the old seasons combined. "You should be taking care of your mental health" and "yeah saving the world is upsetting! no wonder you're having stress dreams" oh my precious children. You are surrounded by a teen dad with massive self-worth issues, the only one of two people who remembers the genie incident and also turned into the sea once, guy who's died like 3+ times and committed genocide under mind control, and a child soldier who's been living the hard knock life since age 2.

I hope to god you two are prepared to witness the most mentally unwell behavior you've seen in your entire teenage lives. You think you've already seen how bad it can get now? Fools. Just wait until you get a mission involving the Departed Realm

Based on the march update:

I've been seeing a lotta good " Wally and Eddie (sometimes Sally too) bonding over Witnessing The Horrors ™️ " content...

...so I raise y'all a " Frank and Barnaby putting aside their differences to help them out " comic

Unlikely? Very much so, but here it is anyway!

_______________________________________

Also I got super lazy coming up with dialogue, so this basically the run down:

Barnaby is bugging Frank with another one of his classic jokes. That is until they notice Wally consoling a very distressed Eddie.

Before he gets to ask Frank if he knows what's wrong with Eddie, Frank shuts him down, thinking he's just gonna set up another joke about it, which he's especially not in the mood to hear.

However, after mentioning that he had only asked because Wally's been acting off as well, they both start to talk about their strange behaviors, how they can help, what may have caused this ...

But wait- who's that watching over them?

...

Leo tried to steal Frank’s hoodie but he too smol.

if i had a nickel for every time a character played by corey dorris in a starkid hatchetfield musical got cornered by a mob singing at him after turning on him from his previous position of power over them, i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but its weird it happened twice, right?

one day i will run out of textposts to hatchetfield-ify. lucky for you all today is not that day

hatchetfield parallels ft. corey dorris' characters being accosted by a mob in black friday (2020) & nerdy prudes must die (2023)

gif request: @thesoftestlittlepuffball

I can't believe in 16 seasons we have never had an episode about the twins' birthday. Just think about the traditions that must exist after 47 years, the competition that would ensue, and maybe even a little wholesomeness? I need it.

Hatchetfield Characters Google Search - Lex Foster [insp]

me holding onto the starkid obsession like:

Real talk, I think Frank Pricely is a genuinely really interesting character.

So when we meet him in Black Friday, he is basically a cartoon capitalist supervillain. He's obsessing over money, he is condescending to Lex, and we get the impression that he's Mr. Krabs level of money-grubbing shitty boss. He gets a whole song where he revels in how much money he's going to make, and shows ambivalence to how dangerous black friday shopping can be. Then Feast or Famine happens, and something... changes. There's a visible shift on stage when he and the audience realize that he is no longer in control that's genuinely really eerie. Put a pin in that, cuz I'm gonna come back to it.

When when we're introduced to him in "Daddy", we get a much more complete image of who he is as a character. It's not that he's not a greedy and condescending person, because he definitely is, but that's not the foundation of his character. When we see Toy Zone outside of Black Friday, we see that it's a struggling small business, and a genuine passion project for Frank. It's not that Toy Zone is a means for financial success, but financial success is a means to keep Toy Zone operational.

Then there's his relationship with Lex. He's definitely snarky and condescending, but he also actually cares about her, and sees himself as a parental figure to her. He gives her advice that he feels is in her best interest, and shows her a lot of the "tough love" that he thinks Sheila should be showing Sherman. Lex is even one of the people he says sorry too when he's about to die, because he worries that he failed her. While I do think Lex has some level of respect for him, I never really get the vibe that she sees him this way; she seems to think of him as more of a hard ass, and she would absolutely leave Toy Zone the minute a better opportunity comes up. Her job at Toy Zone for her is more about her need to take care of her family. And this is significant, because Frank is a very lonely person. After his dog Buddy dies, he has no family left. He reminisces on his parents, who didn't support his passions. He thinks of himself as a father figure to Lex, because he has nobody else left in his life. I'm not necessarily saying that he's a good parental figure to Lex, he can be pretty selfish, and even denied her for a raise once he could afford it, knowing she damn well needs the money. It's clear though, that he's trying to look out for her more than her actual mother (low bar as it may be), and on some level, he does think he's helping her. Because she's all he has. Her and Toy Zone, and he's about to lose that too.

This is why Sheila is so appealing to him. She represents not only financial stability, but a chance to not be alone. He doesn't love her, and I think he knows it, but he could learn to love her. He could have love and money, and if that doesn't work out, at least he'd have money. That's what he thinks anyway. But again, he's not the one with the power.

When we first see him in Black Friday, we initially think Frank represents the corporations, but he doesn't. He's a small business owner, and can only support his passion by participating in capitalism. He is a retailer, not a CEO. And that's what puts him in so much danger in Black Friday. Capitalism treats him as disposable. And that's how he dies. Frank was just as much under Wiggly's influence as anyone else. He lived a lonely life, and the business he's prioritized over forming any lasting bonds with other people is about to go down the toilet. Then this little green doll comes along that's supposed to fix everything. He doesn't want to keep the Wiggly dolls, but he still thinks they're going to fix the holes. And once he's served his purpose, Wiggly disposes of him. And that's what Sheila tries to do, too. The only reason he survives in Daddy is that Sherman decides he still has value. It's honestly really haunting how these stories mirror each other.

You could've shopped ✨ 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙙𝙖𝙮 ✨

But you chose 👏 𝒕𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚 👏

It's no wonder

Here's your number, know your place in line

{ ɪ'ʟʟ ᴘᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴜᴘ! }

I never skim off the top 😤

It's also advisable 😜👍

That we're not liable for anyone who dies 😳😳

pregame asg: mat barzal and quinn hughes | 2.3.24

This skit came into my head:

Frank: I've heard a lot of rumours about how "Preator Zhang has a twink back at Camp Half-Blood" but I'd like to tell you that they're not true-

Frank: While Leo IS a twink, he is not MY twink.

Frank: He's Jason's

Jason: HEY! It's true though.