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angelicalacrimae · 1 year

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why strawberry crepe cookie is very autistic coded

by: yours truly, an autistic person who happens to like the pink cookie a lot! 🌸

the chart above is what i will be using as a base for some of the behaviors they express. though i'm letting you guys know beforehand that autism looks different in everyone (obviously) and that some traits might be influenced by traumatic events in your early years of life (like what happens with Crepe.)

most of the information has been taken from canon events and stories, and some other things are just based on my own interpretation of their dialogue and the few things we know about their backstory!

we will go in parts, describing each tab in as much detail as i possibly can ...

that being said, sit the fuck down, grab some snacks, and listen to me ramble about the little pink cookie, because that's what autism made ME do. some people solve math problems, i talk about my little pink thing while i rotate them around in my head like a microwave.

before i start: spoiler warning for pretty much everything regarding Strawberry Crepe Cookie and cookie odyssey.

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i. fixations -

the fixations tab is the easiest thing to explain from this mess, since it's most of their character: robotics!Crepe shows a high interest in wafflebots! being pretty much one of the few things they talk about freely (and something they're very passionate about as a whole) and being something that takes up most of their day and routine.

there are many parts where they start rambling about the bots, being most noticeable during the cookie odyssey (they have many of these moments during their parts of the story! 🎶)

(they also seem to be messy as mentioned by Clotted Cream Cookie at some point in odyssey, unless it comes to their tools! which is. something i relate to deeply lmao. i find organizing my clothes and things pretty boring, but i enjoy organizing my art supplies for example. relaxing activities ~ i'm not sure if it IS part of a fixation but i still think it deserves a spot.)

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ii. noise sensitivity -

this is also easy to explain: they don't like noise. one of their "default phrases" is. just that. them complaining about the noise (and mentioning that their bots are more quiet, once again tying things back to their special interest/hyperfixation.)

and this new comment from the spring 2023 event.

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iii. aggression -

while also having canon arguments to back up this one, it can't really be used as a way to say "oh Crepe is autistic". why? because crepe has gone through trauma and was exposed to violence as a fairly young kid, specially since it wasn't really explained to them that what they did was wrong.

they are aggressive, having threatened others before ... but is it an autistic thing, or just a trauma response of some sort? i can't really tell, honestly. so i'm going to replace it with:

🦄🌸 the inability to properly identify their own emotions, something i've struggled with since i was just a little guy !!!! 🌸🦄

(or, in proper terms, i think it's called alexithymia! if this is wrong i will correct myself.)

when Pure Vanilla mentioned the time period they were alone (or with DE) they responded with: "well ... it WAS boring!"

boring, a word that seems to be quite common in their vocabulary and mine (especially as a kid, we're talking a 5-8 y/o child who struggled to properly identify their emotions and was pretty disconnected from them)

i remember always complaining of boredom, and i sometimes still mix boredom with sadness, understimulation ... you call it.

and the fact that they used the word "boring" to describe a (definitely) traumatic period of their life is. quite interesting to me!

were they truly bored, or were they sad? anxious? scared ...?

and then, once again, in the spring 2023 event, we get more of that:

it happens after the group of kids they're playing with don't listen to their attempts of communicating their discomfort and stress over the situation they're in, Crepe was trying to communicate that they weren't happy with the noise they were making and the fact that everyone was walking in different directions. (and one of the kids was being particularly hyperactive too)

so, they lashed out.

pretty self-explanatory. Crepe also isn't very good at expressing and controlling their negative emotions.

so yeah! back to the ACTUAL chart now ...

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iv. social difficulty -

yeah, another obvious one. they struggle with socializing and seem to prefer the company of their robots and small crowds. (or older people, they seem to be a lot more nicer around Espresso. like in the christmas 2022 story)

not much to say, their socializing skills may also be affected by their trauma. (they were frozen for years as a child, abandoned by their village and then by Dark Enchantress, leading to a pretty lonely life before the events of chapter 9 and odyssey)

but i do think they're genuinely just an awkward little kid, and that's fine! they're learning at their own pace as i've mentioned in another post :)

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v. speech pattern -

... it may be me, but their way of speaking is different of the way kids around their age express themselves usually, so i say they got an abnormal speech pattern.

they use big words and know what they mean, end of the speech tab. i don't know how a normal person speaks so i can't really say "this was supposed to be abnormal speech? but I speak like that!"

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vi. depression / anxiety -

the depression and anxiety tab are mainly based on headcanons i branched out based on their backstory, but they may be enforced by their crunchy dreams story and their fortune: "you're not alone: love surrounds you."

it's probably not related to autism, though. it's probably because of their trauma and abandonment issues. either way it's there.

to need reassuring in something like this means that they probably cling compulsively to certain thoughts/beliefs.

which, if i remember correctly, is a thing that sometimes happens with autistic people according to other autistic people. it's like a weird fixation of sorts, i'm not 100% sure ...

the only time(s) i've seen them have some sort of anxious behavior is during their battle speech, where they panic after losing to Gingerbrave's team.

then during the spring event of 2023, where they say that they "can't think straight" because of the noise Pancake Cookie is making.

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i'm not sure if they got any tics and fidgets, i haven't noticed anything that can classify as such, so it's one of the lowest tabs.

same with the abnormal posture. and if they got it is probably because of the being frozen thing weakening their body to an extent.

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in conclusion! after tumblr deleted part of my post from my drafts ... _(:3」 ∠)_

i wholeheartedly believe Crepe might be an autistic coded character, whether or not is something the writers intended to do isn't clear to me, but they show SO many traits that i wouldn't be surprised if they canonically were! most of the things i mentioned are also based from my own experience and the bits i can remember form my own childhood as an undiagnosed kid, but yeah!

i hope you enjoyed this painfully long rant <3 i might make one eventually about how i think Crepe might also be physically disabled (implied), but for now, have this.

okay bye i can't post more pictures because the app sucks.

#strawberry crepe cookie #strawberry crepe crk #cookie run kingdom #long post #character analysis #autism be damned my cookie can build robots #actually autistic #autistic character

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delistravaganza · 2 years

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Hi! How would you describe the dynamic between Alfonso and Lila, and how in your opinion Lila sees Alfonso? He is one of the few character in Lila's life that I've not really understand, and I remember that you have written some post about him, so I thought I could ask your opinion on his relationship with Lila.

I am finally on vacation so I can answer this with the attention and care it deserves!

LILA AND ALFONSO - THE (QUEER) FRIENDSHIP THAT HAPPENS OFF-SCREEN

[Warning: SPOILERS for book 4 of MBF. Also warning: Massive post. Read it with coffee or tea].

So! What do we know about those two? Lila is our beloved, the Heroine of the 1,000 Faces, someone you can read as cruel or kind, mischievous or honest, intuitive or logical, and it all makes sense because she's all that and more.

Alfonso is our only (open) LGBTQ+ Representative in Town and thus his portrayal is more stereotypical. As MBF aspires to be an all-encompassing tour of the greatest movements and ideologies of the Twentieth Century (the saga is truly as humble as its two main characters), there is a character who stands as a representative of each of them. For example, Mariarosa stands for the women's rights movements (all of them) and the sexual revolution of the 60's-70's. Pasquale stands for communism, class consciousness and resistance to state mechanisms (quite a lot to stand for as well). Lila and/or Lenù will be more or less influenced by all of these movements without ever labeling themselves as anything.

Alfonso stands for the then-called gay liberation movement and social rights. He's one of the very few men in the series who isn't a testosterone vessel with a traditional "masculine" role. He's soft and shy, a do-gooder, and as much of a people-pleaser as Lenù. He's intelligent and interested in languages, but he also has a hedonistic streak. He has some traits in common with Lenù, but without her ambition and perfectionism. He might arguably be what Lenù have resembled without Lila in her life.

Alfonso and Lenù start a friendship on their teens, which is uncommon at the time, as no one expects a boy and a girl to be just friends. They talk a lot, enjoy each other's company and sit together in class. Lenù finds Alfonso very handsome (1) and wonders whether there's anything more on his side. Lenù being Lenù, I'm guessing that she wasn't exactly difficult to read, and that might've made Alfonso a bit wary. He already has another girl friend, Marisa Sarratore, who expects more of him and whom he initially uses as a cover - two may have been too much.

At the same time, Lila is now Stefano's young wife, and this has probably started a new dynamic between Alfonso and Lila, even if it's just because they are family. We know that Lenù comes up often in their conversation, e.g., when Lila asks Alfonso to bring Lenù to her place so she will have a place to study. This will be the model of their whole relationship - Lila commands, Alfonso obeys. Still, there seems to be a growing intimacy between them, even if Lila is mostly interested in passing messages to Lenù through him at this time.

When Lila creates her own "artwork" and hangs it on the shoe shop, Alfonso is mesmerized (this happens on the book only). He happily kisses her cheeks and claims, "I always knew you were dangerous". I love the subtext of this scene. What Lila has done with her own picture is an act of deconstructing her body. She's ripping open her heteronormative self (literally dressed as a bride) and creating something different out of the pieces. The result is defiant, seductive, an image that is both vanguardistic and excessive, and all the straight-coded characters feel immediately threatened and repulsed by it. This is the blood and bone of the queer and most specifically the transgender experience; what Lila has done in a bout of rage/enthusiasm has an extremely queer reading just because of the act itself (2). Hence Alfonso, who is probably starting to find out who he is on that side of the town, is telling her: "You and I are birds of a feather! I always knew!".

At that point, Lila claims not to understand Alfonso's words, but she surely knows that Alfonso is Different, Not Like Other Men, and that he's reluctant to Behave As Expected with women. Lila is trying hard to conform to the rione's standards as Stefano's wife and she's finding it very difficult to Behave As Expected, both in and out of the bedroom. The idea that she may somehow be like Alfonso, someone who can't fit in because of who he is, may be very discouraging for her.

Alfonso: "We were two strange bodies inside the Carracci family".

So Lila is the first one to start cheering and clapping when Marisa kisses Alfonso on Rino and Pinuccia's wedding, a situation that was clearly embarrassing for him. We already know that Lila can be mean when she's annoyed, so I'm guessing that this was done on purpose. Not much later she will admit to Lenù that she was wrong - without specifying what was so wrong with her behavior that day (3). It is also suggested that Lila may have contributed to spreading the rumors about Alfonso being gay - we'll never know.

Despite these hardships, Lila and Alfonso's relationship evolves (because Alfonso is a cookie and won't stay mad at her), and at some point they have a conversation that gets more intimate than the others: he comes out to her as "ricchione" (4). They don't talk about queer sensibilities or gender questioning yet, only about attraction. Lila is the first person he discusses this at length with, though he's most likely had some experiences with men before.

It's not clear when this happens. My best guess is when Lila and Alfonso kind of overlap at the shoe shop. At this time, Alfonso is contemplating whether he should marry Marisa, while Lila is involved in an all-consuming affair with Nino (without Lenù to talk to). Love is a bit of an Achilles' heel for Lila; we know that affection makes her vulnerable. Did she and Alfonso have a heart-to-heart in the shop? Did Lila only listen, or did she also share any secrets in exchange? I can definitely picture them in intense conversation when alone and then playing siblings-in-law in the company of others. Consider also that when Alfonso looks back to this event, it's with a sense of hope and relief, and he seems to know Lila pretty well afterwards (5). Whatever Lila said, it wasn't judgmental - she probably encouraged him to do whatever the fuck he wanted. Lila is usually more cautious, so this reinforces my idea that she was living her romance with Nino at the time.

As stereotypical as it may be, there is a classic dynamic in the friendship between a girl and a gay guy - for him, she might be easier to forge a connection with, and for her, he might be a gate to a different sensibility. This may have been the case for Lila and Alfonso (6). The burgeoning friendship may have come as a relief for both of them, but especially for Lila, who is trapped in a heteronormative world, sexualized by everyone and almost always chased by men. Alfonso looks up to her and finds her gorgeous, but he doesn't want to sleep with her, and it's not just the looks he admires - he wants the attitude, the whole personality, and unlike Lenù, he openly recognizes this effect that Lila has on him. This naïveté may have been very touching to Lila, who is, at the bottom of her heart, pretty hungry for acceptance and unconditional love.

However, Alfonso is unwilling to help Lila in any way that may be confrontational for his family or his employers (probably scared that they would turn onto him as well), and that tiny bit of a "relief through nice conversations when alone :)" is not enough. Thankfully she has Lenù Enzo, who proves to be (mostly) the only one who is willing to risk his life for her.

Alfonso: "If I'd been born a woman, I'd have wanted to be like her".

When Alfonso decides to take Michele's "advice" and marry Marisa, he's probably already very taken with Michele - he tells that to Lila not much later. To Lila, this is extremely helpful, as she's already planning how to get the most out of Michele without having to become his lover. As much as Lila loves certain people, she also harvests utilitarian relationships, especially within the rione. The plan they come up with seems to benefit both of them - Alfonso gets Michele, Lila gets Michele's money and influence.

The "seduction" of Michele comes with Alfonso dressing as a woman and adjusting her appearance more and more to look like Lila. It's not just a trick, but a true desire of Alfonso's, who is uncomfortable with his appearance and wants to look more womanly. It's never clear whether Alfonso is actually transgender or not, and I have found a lot of confusion in MBF-related texts. In favor of this idea, the narrative seems to be encouraging the fact that (s)he has "a woman's soul", and it is said that (s)he refers to her/himself in feminine form at times (Lenù changes forms a couple of times in her mind when she sees how much (s)he's changed). Many people that we consider transgender now didn't self-identify as such at the time. However, the queer community has always mixed up gender identities; also, Alfonso never seems to go by any other name, something that would clearly represent her/his rebirth as her/his new female-presenting self. To me, Alfonso seems to be embracing gender fluidity as a traditional feminiello, but that's the problem of standing for all the LGBTQ+ letters in one single character. For clarity reasons, I will keep on referring to him as a "he", though it might be more accurate to use other forms.

At the beginning, Lila seems to have her reluctancies with this process of Alfonso, as if this new persona of his could be no more than a grotesque imitation of a woman from a man's point of view ("you can copy me but my shit will always be mine"). HOWEVER! Just as Lila changed her mind regarding Being Queer, she quickly drops the terfy mindset, gets into the gist of Alfonso's Makeover and becomes collaborative (one cannot use the world "enthusiastic" when it comes to Lila).

This change of mind is not surprising, as both Lila and Lenù love games and they are very much attracted by the queer narratives of transforming/becoming ("diventare"). There is this scene where Alfonso, Lila and Lenù are shopping for clothes. Lila chooses (women's) clothes for Alfonso as if they were for her, and Alfonso, in turn, tries them out as if he was her. The fact that even the shop owner is a "ricchione" emphasizes the playfulness and queerness of the scene, where everyone seems to be having a lot of fun except for Lenù, who is a bit awkward. If people tend to see Lila as less heteronormative than Lenù, it's because of these scenes - because even if Lila never does much herself, and even without direct contact with any kind of world but her small neighborhood, she seems to be potentially willing to partake in stuff that leads her off the paved path (7).

Still, Lila being Lila, she always treats Alfonso with a sense of superiority, like she can boss him around and dispose of his time as she wants, especially when he becomes her and Enzo's employee at Basic Sight. She jokes that Michele is chasing "the shadow of [her] shadow" (meaning Alfonso). This treatment of Alfonso by Lila isn't much different from the way Lila treats almost everyone, including Lenù, who is often irritated by her domineering ways. Lila seems to follow a similar pattern with most of the people she loves - treat with contempt first, panic afterwards if they seem too tired of her, and quit everything and help if they are in need.

But I get annoyed at the narrative at this point because the purpose of the seduction is to make a puppet of Michele by making him do TEH G4Y. This leaves Michele confused, though this version of his actually seems much nicer. But he's watered down, less of a man now; he's gone "crazy". I get that passion makes you do irrational things -take both Lila and Lenù with Nino-, but the way this relationship is handled gives me the creeps. The fact that Alfonso and Michele are the only two characters openly DOING TEH G4Y, while the two leads often walk down the border of the THOUGHTS OF TEH G4Y but never come down to "doing" anything, seems to recall a former time when the "4ctions" were the only thing that mattered for queerness, and it was OK to feverishly long for your friend as long as you never did anything about it (8).

When Michele finally manages to break up with Alfonso and gives him a brutal beating as a final gift, Alfonso is heartbroken. He starts not showing up at work, being gross and overtly sexual in front of the children (9), and seeming confused with her own male/female self. He basically crawls down the deep dark well of the G4Y, and, in essence, this stereotypical downfall matches Lila's. Alfonso also wants to run away from his own body (Lenù's words) and escape toxic masculinity, which in his case is also creeping from the inside. In the end, Alfonso dies, probably murdered by Marcello in retaliation for his involvement with his brother, as Alfonso himself had warned it would happen. So, in a way, it is toxic masculinity and corruption under the façade of respectability what gets him killed.

Lenù: "She reached out to him as if he were a mirror to see herself and extract from his body a part of herself".

Lest aside the queerphobia of Alfonso's storyline, his strong bond with Lila remains (and, to a lesser extent, with Lenù). Lila could've fired Alfonso when he started being unreliable, but she didn't. On the contrary, she and Enzo supported him, even though he may have cost them precious money (10). When Alfonso is killed, Lila is heartbroken, to the point of neglecting her daughter for a while. Lenù realizes that her relationship with Alfonso must've been way more intense than what it seemed on the surface. This abounds in Alfonso's parallelisms with Lenù as some kind of "living matter" that Lila uses for the tasks that she can't (or won't) do herself, be it writing books or being openly queer fully changing her appearance so that it matches the inside. Also, Lila probably feels very guilty about Alfonso's demise for the role she played as the instigator of Alfonso's "feminization" and Michele's seduction (11).

What did Lila and Alfonso talk about when they were alone? Did she let herself be silly and have fun with him? Did she find in him the pure and simple adoration she once got from Lenù? Did she play him for her profit, or did she just play the role that Alfonso urged her to play? There are very few instances of "pure" friendship in My Brilliant Friend and I think we are all left a bit starved in that respect. I'd like to believe that Lila and Alfonso were probably friends in the purest sense of the word, each of them finding in the other a hand to reach out for, and the confidence to do the things you already want to do, in a strange world.

Phew, this was lengthy but fun! Who's next? Elena and Mariarosa? Lila and Pasquale? I'm up for all of them!

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(1) What a coincidence that Alfonso ends up resembling Lila!

(2) Lila, by the way, shares the execution of her queer artwork with a very willing Lenù, who picks up on the performative/playful nature of the act instinctively.

(3) Lenù complains of Lila being a pain in the ass and giving her trouble but she actually loves Lila being silently non-conforming and Not Traditionally Womanly, and rabidly dislikes when she acts like everyone else in the rione. She needs Lila to be the odd one out (instead of her) just as much as Lila needs Lenù to fit in and triumph in a male-dominated world (instead of her).

(4) "Ricchione", meaning both homosexual and queer, is the only word that Alfonso will ever use to describe himself.

(5) Alfonso is the only one (along with Lila's mom) who doesn't believe that Lila is with Lenù in Pisa when she runs away with Nino, so he may at least suspect that she had a lover.

(6) A similar dynamic may be at play with Lenù and Alfonso, with Lenù commenting that she felt like kneeling and confessing her more intimate thoughts to him.

(7) Lenù, thanks to her education, has potential access to way more nuanced environments than Lila, but she's reluctant to explore some of the most interesting ones (like the lesbian separatist movement Mariarosa's groups of women). It is worth mentioning, though, that she never questions Alfonso and believes that Lila made the woman in him come out.

(8) Though Michele gets de facto involved with Alfonso and Lenù's thoughts range from the vaguely sapphic to the blatantly sapphic, none of them are willing to associate themselves with anything queer. Lila doesn't count either, as queercoded as she may be. That draws a sharp line between Alfonso and the rest. If neither the feelings (Lila?) nor the thoughts (Lenù?) nor the actions (Michele?) count for being queer, I'm not sure I know where the difference is.

(9) Being vulgar and gross at times, as if speaking the truth but in a socially unbearable manner, and coming closer to a feared state of "craziness", is something that also happens to Lila.

(10) As if I couldn't love the guy more, Enzo is enraged at the fate of Alfonso to the point that he wants to confront Michele physically. Lila restrains him, worried about their daughter.

(11) When Michele is finally free of Alfonso's influence, he becomes an even more dangerous enemy for Lila's family. We all know what happens in book 4.

#my brilliant friend #l'amica geniale #alfonso carracci #lila cerullo #queer #queer subtext

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pandorasword · 1 year

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I feel chaeri has a dark feminine vibe and she knows that she is attractive and sometimes use it for her advantage.

Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.

「 Hi! Thank you for reading a little about Chaeri's life and empathising with her enough to come to your own conclusions! I totally agree with you, she is completely at ease with her dark feminine energy, she doesn't pretend not to like herself in order to flatter people… she knows she is attractive to others but what she is most proud of is to be attractive to herself.

I read there are distinctive traits in women with this kind of energy, let's analyse together how they apply to Chaeri's life 」

Chaeri's masterlist

۵ Passionate

Chaeri is not the type of person to live things halfway. She either lives them to the full or does not care to start them at all. The same goes for her interests or relationships.

Her hobbies are numerous, yet being so, does not mean that she devotes herself less passionately to one than to the other. This makes her incredibly talented at almost everything she does. She has natural abilities, it is undeniable, but she works hard for everything and this is the real key to the success she has in the activities she pursues.

One of the few things she hates about her career is the impositions regarding social connections. She was born to be a star, to live in the spotlight, but she cannot agree to live her relationships/friendships with the people she cares about in secret. Due to this, it's quite common to find newspaper articles assuming possible relationships of her with almost half the kpop industry, simply for interacting with someone at events. At the beginning of her career, she was scolded several times by the company for being too outgoing but it seems they had to get used to it since she did not want to accept such extreme compromises they wanted to impose on her. The only thing she had to forcefully agree to was the end of her relationship with Jungkook (which they tried to keep in secret precisely to avoid breaking up. She knew that the managers would never overlook on this) as according to her managers it would have threatened the careers of all the members of the group. However, since then, she has not been on the best of terms with the company, which tries to keep her tied to their contracts with other kinds of advantages (higher salaries, extra time off and other kinds of concessions)

۵ Creative

Although she did not receive the best of tuition - homeschooled first in France where, according to her mother's impositions, could be sidelined because the many dance classes she attended every day were more important; and then homeschooled in Korea between idol engagements - her mind is very fruitful.

The branch in which she is most creative is fashion. She always dreamed up and doodled clothes and accessories in her notebooks, fantasizing about one day being able to wear something created directly by her.

When her brand 'JEONG' started to come to life her ideas were like multiplied, thus giving full vent to her creativity and creating her first clothing collection in no time. The brand's concept, matching outfits, comes right from the meaning of the word 'JEONG' itself, which indicates a connection between people. Up to now, we can see lots of idols and foreign celebrities wear her outfits.

۵ Seductive

She doesn't try to be seductive; she is seductive herself. Many people believe that one must be dressed provocatively and have bold makeup to be seductive, but, in fact, being seductive is all about attitude. Everything about her screams 'Confidence'.

Below a quick list of the attributes for which she is highly attractive to almost anyone.

⦊ Eye contact This is not to be underestimated; making eye contact with the person of interest or who is talking to you automatically makes him or her feel valued. Eye contact sets the mood and it creates sensual tides when done right. ⦊ Being flirty without really making it look like flirting The art of confusing men with warm smiles, confident tones of voice, relaxed posture is one of her favorite skills. They never know if she is really interested or if it's just the way she acts normally. She only needs the right glance and some teasing yet innocent lines to get what she wants from a man. ⦊ Challenging conversations Being able to have enjoyable conversations, being well informed about topics, asking risky questions, and having strong ideas makes her a clever and unmoldable woman in the eyes of others. All this makes her desirable even beyond the body, teasing the minds of those who have the opportunity to start a talk with her.

⦊ Breaking the rules Looking rebellious makes people curious about her. Acting outside the box, unlike how most would act, makes her seem a little dangerous and mysterious. People want to get in on the action and therefore, will do things for a her they normally might not do.

۵ Powerful

The power this woman holds in the industry is admirable.

Everyone knows her and recognizes her talent, beauty and authenticity. She doesn't follow trends, she creates them. She is the nightmare of conservative Korea since she does not fit any of the standards of the shy, obedient woman they would like to see her in, yet she is considered the IT Girl of the nation. She is currently the highest paid and most known kpop idol in the world. She uses her influence for many charitable causes along with donations without publicizing it.

She is defined as intimidating just because she acts confident when in fact she is a very nice person.

#bts 8th member #bts female member #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts female addition #bts addition #kpop female member #kpop female oc #bts 8th member au #bts au #bts au fanfic #bts x reader #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bts #bts eighth member

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egg-emperor · 2 years

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Honestly I think your connection between Bowser and Zavock as Eggman monsterfucker proof is spot on. I think Eggman would prefer Bowser more though, since they have way more in common. Sure they've got their differences, one's all brute strength and the other's a genius, but they're also both the kind of villains to build giant deadly theme parks in their own image, and have a silly side alongside their more threatening moments. At the end of the day I think the size of their respective egos could clash in such a relationship, though it's always fun to think about how they'd get along.

Thank you, I'm so happy that others can finally see my vision dbkdgknxsbkhdn Eggman really likes those beastly monstrous boys hehe 👀

I definitely think he prefers Bowser, he's known him much longer and has more of an actual relationship beyond just being a lackey that he gets a bit weird with, like I imagine him being with Zavok lol. Bowser is like the real closest he's actually had to a friendship (and judging by TSR's lines, he seems to want to be Zavok's friend too but their interactions like that aren't quite there). Eggman has a long-time consistent interest in powerful monstrous beings and after only admiring them mostly from afar/not getting to know them on a personal level because they can't talk, Bowser was the first that could and I think Eggman could make a few interesting discoveries about himself and what he likes while with him.

I'd say that Zavok and Eggman do have a fair amount in common though, such as when it comes to sharing two defining core traits. They're both strong power types and both egotistical. In Team Sonic Racing especially, Zavok took Eggman's power type place that he'd be classed as again if it weren't for his inclusion, and tons of his in-game dialogue are literally things that Eggman would say, word for word. But they tend to clash very often because of their egos, but I think Eggman takes it and keeps him around because he thinks his power is useful to him and he's hot. That's enough to keep him going after him and seeming to want to keep him around despite everything, he's too down bad shfjbskgnsmgh

But Bowser and Eggman do have more in common overall, both have great strength and ego too but also have crazy creative ideas and a silly side but can be delightfully evil and threatening too. They can entertain and bounce off each other well, they have a closer more genuine bond than Eggman and Zavok as boss and forced lackey, and know how to have fun. Zavok is just serious all the time and I can imagine Eggman wishing he'd be more fun like Bowser. They have a mutual respect they rarely have for others and are like work partners turned friendship when they team up for a shared motive in the Olympics but end up getting close enough to the point they even go on a date- I mean hang out in London. Eggman has even implied that he thinks Bowser has dashing good looks! XD

I like to joke that Eggman only likes Zavok because he's like a Bowser rip off and immediately started crushing on him in the same way because of it and it's really funny that game universe Eggman has seemed so eager to keep going after him, chasing him down like Amy with Sonic. But Bowser was the one that Eggman met first and how well they can get along in their best moments and the useful increase of power he has with him on his side is especially appealing to him over Zavok. They genuinely have a stronger bond that keeps them both being eager to team up multiple times. And Eggman's love of monstrous beings and strong guys combined really makes him his type, so he has a big thing for him and wants to explore the extent of his interest and fascination with him.

Being fascinated with him both for being the first monstrous being he can really talk to, relate to, and get know personally makes them form a strong bond and Eggman eventually finds himself feeling attraction. Especially when seeing his displays of strength with his attraction to strength and power, I imagine then he gets excited and surprises himself when his mind goes to thoughts of intimacy. Then I see them eventually having a casual thing going on where they have fun and keep each other happy, Eggman is certainly a great way for Bowser to keep his mind off Peach and that's how Eggman tries to approach it at first as an excuse for them to start messing around, so he can enjoy experimenting and exploring these feelings.

And yeah they definitely have moments of ego clashes and bickering, it's honestly inevitable when both working and being in a relationship with guys like them. Both have a fire and stubbornness in them and will have arguments and disagreements when wanting to do things their own way. But they can take it from each other in ways many others can't in more ways than one--- couldn't help myself so they're great for each other!Pissing each other off adds to the charm of the dynamic. I can see them getting rough with each other in their disputes because they're both strong enough but it soon turns playful, or they end up frustratedly kissing which eventually calms them both down because they can't stay mad at each other lol

I like Eggman with both Bowser and Zavok, they're both more pairings that allow a lot more of my funnier ideas, they have entertaining dynamics and work too well for Eggman. Plus I can really see them being his type with the evidence. But Eggman x Bowser is the best of the two for sure, they're so fun together and it's always fun to think about what they get up to 💜

#asks #dr eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #my post #eggman #eggman x bowser

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ecofinisher · 2 years

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The Sims 3 - Sunset Valley Sims headcanons

More Sims 3 headcanons, because suddenly I felt inspired for it.

Jamie Jolina

Jamie promised Thornton Wolff to wait for him to leave his wife Morgana. As the years passed with Jamie ending her education on medical, she forgot about the promise and as she worked on the same place as Morgana she heard about her marriage now being “healthier than ever” she realized, that he must have now changed his mind and have a child with her. Jamie moved on with her life, keeping her eyes open for a possible person worth her interest.

Jamie Jolina is as intelligent as she is beautiful. Can she prove to the world that two traits can coexist?

Erin Kennedy:

Erin was relocated to the base in Sunset Valley and doesn’t know anybody there. Her first weeks went okay. She’s sort of used to knowing, she struggles in finding friends, worse now in a new unfamiliar area. Out of curiosity one day, one of her workpals Jack Bunch offered her to pass by his house on Sunday for a barbecue. She would meet there other people and be able to befriend them. The first people she befriended first were Iqbal Alvi, Dustin Langerak, Judy Bunch, and Yumi Sekemoto. (Additional guests: Leighton Sekemoto, the Langerak family, the Hart family, the Andrews and the Clavells)

Erin Kennedy is a long-term military career woman who was recently transferred to town. Making friends has always been difficult for her, and she worries that things might be the same in this town. Will her fears come true?

Langerak family:

Aunt Zelda recently moved in into the house. Iliana wonders why her home looks like garbage very recently upon her arrival. Kaylynn claims it’s hard to watch out for the three households' "pigs". Dustin claims he followed his wife’s instructions by letter and there never was something about cleaning. Dustin and Parker are naturally chaotic men, thus why they can't really leave the house spotless as wished. Zelda just fills the house with a bunch of plants, which lose with time remains, making things worse. As well, Zelda uses the home for parties, which is always left in the end in a chaos. She pushed her nephew Parker most of the time into her escapades and show him the wrongs of dating people, rather than mentoring him correctly. Thus along with the present people she had in the party had Parker grown into a sort of "player". Despite his parent's warnings about bringing every week a girl home, he's always convinced, that she's the one.

McIrish – (From the Single moms' household)

Fiona used to attend Jack Bunch’s barbecues in the past, when her daughter River was a baby. Upon the Bunch’s family grew the barbecues had been reduced to almost never and everyone moved on with their lives. Fiona had a career in journalism and was able to sustain the family quite well with the earnings. This wasn’t quite good for her husband Mr. McIrish. He secretly felt ashamed, cause the reason he was unemployed was that he lost his job due to appearing there drunk costing his boss’s company an important task. He would often threaten Fiona, even hurt her if she would make him feel bad. Things have gotten worse, when his drinking habit grew, increasing his violence towards the family even coming to harm their common daughter River. This had been the last straw for Fiona and she in the night grabbed her child to seek help. On the run, they were spotted by Mr. McIrish, which went after them and the women split going in different directions. River’s father followed the mother up, while River ran along the beach to find a mysterious woman at the edge of the beach fishing. The woman informed the police and later on, she managed to spot Fiona and called her to follow her into her own home, avoiding the father to follow. Over the night the McIrish women befriended the mysterious woman named Claire Ursine and were visited by the police, which mentioned that Mr. McIrish had fallen off a cliff and died of his injuries. Fiona felt after the news shocked, but relieved at the same time and took this state of life now to focus on educating her daughter single-handly and her career. Months passed by after getting to see a real slaughterhouse for a news magazine, she fully turned into a vegetarian. Her daughter still in growth would still be allowed to eat meat, just not as much as before, and to make sure, her needs of vitamins and resources would be fulfilled. River was relieved about the end of their miserable state with her father’s behaviors and was used to be only with her mother on her own. She and her mother had the townie Claire as a good friend and were in contact very often.

Fiona is focusing on raising her teenager, and living a healthy life now that the past is behind her.

Claire Ursine

Claire is passionate about nature and enjoys the quietness, mostly when she’s at the beach fishing. One night she witnessed the McIrish’s women running away from a violent man and she took them under protection at her house. Upon realizing the man passed away, she offered to be there for the two forming a good friendship. Claire had a short relationship with her neighbor Jared Frio. Unbeknowest to him, she’s pregnant from him and hopes, that nobody will notice her pregnancy, mostly that she’s all on her own.

Claire Ursine is a reclusive angler living by the ocean. Since she lives alone, she is hopeful that no one will notice her unexpectedly changing waistline.

Hart Family

Bebe’s parents have a slightly mental disorder. Bebe is the only person in her legacy, who hasn’t got the issue. She but has it difficult to handle her parents on her own, mosly when neighbors are around. The father is the less problematic one.

Bebe Hart has a hard time as the only responsible person in the entire Hart lineage. It's no secret in the neighborhood that both of her parents are slightly insane, so Bebe feels that the neighbor's eyes have been scrutinizing her for ages, just waiting to see if she'll crack too.

Molly French

For a couple of months Molly was dating another man from the same country and got left by him one day after she confessed to him she was expecting a baby from him. Upon finding out, what happened, she called the closest friend she had, who was Fiona McIrish. To her luck the friend immediately allowed her to live by her and Molly promised to help pay the rent, which she did. Upon Sandi’s arrival, Molly’s equilibrium of life-style got turned upside down, most of the times she would do the wrong times at the wrong times.

Sandi is on her way from toddlerhood to childhood - in a very messy fashion.

Jared Frio

Doesn’t know, what to do with his life. At the work, he’s gets talked to by Molly French, which he remembers from having seen him in a disco. She tells, what’s up in her life and he tells about his. Molly from being higher ranked offered Jared, how he could do it. He gets to know Molly’s daughter Sandi and the girl shows interest in the man, which feels a little estranged by her, but soon bonds with her.

Jared Frio isn't sure what he wants to do with his life. He knows he's good at cooking, but he just doesn't have the drive or ambition to become a great chef. He knows he's good at charming people, but he just doesn't have the desire to do more than scratch the surface of relationships. What will it take to aim him in the right direction?

Tamara Donner

Used to go to parties with other party freaks to have fun. One day she left with Xander Clavell, Jamie Jolina and Hank Goddard to go to the spring break in California. Althought it was one of the most amazing experiences, she has been in, she had gotten into a hangover along with her friends and she woke up on the top of a building. Her friends didn’t face such a consequence, but understood the happening. That story made her lose her first job at a Riverviewer bank and Tamara from knowing the issue promised herself to let everything go and start a more serious life to forget about her past mistakes.

Tamara is a former party girl trying to settle down and begin a steadfast, productive life, but it's sometimes hard to forget your past when you're constantly surrounded by young energetic roommates.

Erik Darling

Promised Agnes Crumplebottom after they would get married, that they would have a family. Everything was prepared at home about, what they wanted to follow further after getting married. One week before they got married they went on a honey moon and one of the days Erik’s friends invited him to a bachelor party and tragically during one of his friend’s dares, Erik had gotten hurt during the swim and wasn’t able to save himself from drowning. Upon hearing, what happened to her fiancé she was enraged by the blonde’s friends and distanced herself from them, growing with the months of grief grumpy and lonely.

Beau Andrews

Beau Andrews was on his way to become a soccer player. One day during a training he suffered an heart issue and needed to have a pacemaker implanted. Beau lost the possibility to continue his career as a soccer player and grew bittered about it, letting himself out of care by overeating or avoiding to leave home so often, thus leading him to gain on weight. He doesn’t want to let Victoria down so as she did to him, but it’s hard for him to find a new passion, when life has closed him his only dream he has ever had.

Beau's dashed hopes of becoming a professional athlete manifest themselves in a slovenly appearance and general bitterness, but he does love his wife with all his heart.

Darlene Bunch

Darlene is a little troublemaker, mainly to get the attention from her family, which seem to ignore her very often. She has done things, that are kind of questionable to the neighborhood. The only person in her life, which gives her the needed attention is her oldest brother Ethan.

As the youngest of the Bunch household, Darlene will do anything to get noticed and she's already had a few broken bones to show for it. She lives to torture her big brother, Arlo, but she absolutely idolizes her bigger brother, Ethan.

Working friends

Madison and Monika are best friends since high school. They found the loft to be free and decided to go live there together. From their school time they know Tori Kimura and Emma Hatch. Emma had already moved into another home and suggested Tori to talk with Madison. Tori by being very skilled at talking with people convinced the duo to let her move into their home and befriended them as well. They had a free room and were used to it, until one day Emma questioned them, if they could eventually have a fourth member in their household. They accepted her immediately hoping to met the fourth member, upon meeting her, they were quite surprised by how different the woman was from the trio. Ayesha Ansari, the newbie in the household wasn’t a shy person or anything, but she seemed in a way quite sercretive about herself. It turns out, that she does night shifts very often and isn’t so often at home on the times, the other women are. Ayesha has been fine with the life there as she joined. Afterall, none of the four have given each other a chance to get to know each other, despite their differences.

Four women trying to make their way in the world have come together to share this house. Madison and Monika are best friends forever, Tori is a best-friend wannabe, and Ayesha is the tomboy who couldn't care less.

#headcanons #how and what happened #theories #more than anything #the sims #the sims 3 #sims #ecofinisher

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fortunatelyfresco · 3 years

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A Holistic Integration of Type 1 Narcolepsy into the Reading of Moist von Lipwig

Literary Interpretation, Disability, and Finding Yourself Between the Lines

As it goes, "I wrote this for me, but you can read it if you want." It might be a fun ride for anyone who is very interested in Moist von Lipwig, or narcolepsy, or both, and/or anyone who enjoys collecting small details from within a body of work and arranging them into threads that are supportable by the text, without being actually suggested by it.

Personally, I find it very interesting to read the meta behind different headcanons, and see how creators can unintentionally write a character who fits certain criteria. There are only so many traits, after all, and some of them tend to travel in groups! Humans are pattern seekers, etc etc.

The first step of reading Moist von Lipwig as narcoleptic is wanting to read Moist von Lipwig as narcoleptic. Being narcoleptic myself and relating heavily to Moist, this step was very easy. I invite you to take my hand and come along, at least briefly, if you were interested enough to click the readmore.

Once you have taken that step, things start falling into place. At least they do if you're intimately familiar with narcolepsy, or if you first learn about it in detail through, for instance, a Tumblr post with an agenda :)

I'll break this down symptom by symptom, citing only the ones I both have personal experience with and see textual support for.

I'll be using OverDrive's search function to catalogue "evidence" in (the American editions of) Going Postal, Making Money, and Raising Steam, so I might miss passages that don't use certain keywords.

Please take any statements along the lines of "being narcoleptic means X" with a huge grain of salt. Sometimes it's just more succinct. Narcolepsy can manifest in many different ways, and is still being actively studied. Don't base your entire understanding of it on a fandom essay I wrote to cope with the crushing pressures of capitalism. I have not even fully read the scientific studies linked here as sources.

Here we go! Spoilers abound.

I. Excessive Daytime Sleepiness (EDS) and sleep attacks.

Being narcoleptic means (salt now, please) that your brain does not get adequate rest while you sleep, no matter how much you sleep. This is because of a disturbance in the order and length of REM and NREM sleep phases. This leads to constant exhaustion. Some sources describe narcoleptic EDS as "comparable to [the sleepiness] experienced by a healthy individual who has been sleep-deprived continuously for 48–72 hours."

(Source.)

Sleep attacks can come on gradually or suddenly. In my case, I become irritable and easily overwhelmed, and nothing matters except finding a place to lie down. A more severe attack, under the right circumstances, can put me to sleep while I'm actively trying to stay awake and engaged.

Moist refers to 6:45 am as "still nighttime." He is "allergic to the concept of two seven o'clocks in one day" and is "not good at early mornings," and the narration even cites this as "one of the advantages of a life of crime; you didn't have to get up until other people had got the streets aired."

In Going Postal, he repeatedly falls asleep at his desk. I can only find two instances, but the first one describes it as having happened "again," so it happens at least three times over the course of one week. Both of the times I found were after Mr. Pump cleared his apartment, giving him access to a bed, and I can't find any reference to the fire destroying it—just that his office is "missing the whole of one wall." His presumably wooden desk is still intact, even, just "charred."

There's also no build-up either time. No direct narration of the time right before he falls asleep, just retroactive accounting for it.

Which is primarily a function of stories not showing us every boring second, and secondarily one of the smaller ways we're shown Moist being overwhelmed and racing to keep up with himself, but tertiarily it's a great set dressing if you've already decided he's narcoleptic. Sometimes sleep is just a thing that happens, without any deliberate transition. Sometimes you sit down to catch your breath or get some paperwork done, and wake up several hours later.

I've found only one example in GP of Moist waking up in his actual bed at the post office: the morning after being possessed by all the undelivered letters. Presumably either they put him there, or Mr. Pump did.

There are two points in Making Money where Moist, in an effort to be a comforting and/or guiding hand, advises people to get some sleep. First Owlswick Jenkins, and then one of the clerks (Robert) who is worried about Mr. Bent.

I take the optimistic view that this is Moist genuinely caring about these people, not just trying to get them to do what he wants. He has always done some combination of those things (GP opens with him having befriended his jailers, after all), but there's definitely a thread of him learning to treat both himself and those around him more like real people. (See also.)

Looking at this thread through narcolepsy-colored lenses, you get Moist perhaps drawing from his own experiences in an effort to be helpful. In Owlswick or Robert's position, what is something he would want to hear from the man currently in charge of his fate, or at least his job? "Get some sleep."

If we accept this as a pattern, it culminates in Raising Steam, when Moist starts to worry about "Dick Simnel and his band of overworked engineers," fixating particularly on their lack of sleep.

What sleep they got was in sleeping bags, curled up on carriage seats, eating but not eating well, just driven by their watches and their desire to keep the train going.

[...]

"People are going to die if we push them any further," he said to Dick. "You lot would rather work than sleep!"

[...]

The young man swayed in front of him and Moist's tone became gentle. "And I see now that part of my job is to tell you that you need some rest. You've run out of steam, Dick. Look, we're well on the way to Uberwald now, and while it's daylight and we're out of the mountains it's going to be the least risky time to run with minimum crew. We're all going to need our wits about us when we get near the pass. Surely you can take some rest?"

Simnel blinked as if he'd not seen Moist the first time, and said, "Yes, you're right."

And Moist could hear the slurring in the young man's speech, caught him before he fell and dragged him into a sleeping compartment, put him to bed, and noted that the engineer didn't so much fall asleep as somehow flow into it.

Moist then recruits Vimes to help him talk the rest of the engineers into getting some rest. The two of them briefly commiserate about people not realizing how important it is.

"I have to teach that to young coppers. Treasure a night's rest, I always say. Take a nap whenever you can."

"Very good."

II. Insomnia.

This is a lesser-known but very common symptom of narcolepsy. Or a comorbidity, depending on how you look at it. It seems counterintuitive if narcolepsy has been presented to you as "sleeping all the time," but it makes sense once you know it's really a matter of disruption in the brain's ability to regulate sleep cycles.

The case for this symptom is flimsier, and I fully admit I'm just reading my own experience into it. But here are two excerpts from Going Postal that I find quite suitable for my sleepy agenda:

1. "A man of affairs such as he had to learn to sleep in all kinds of situations, often while mobs were looking for him a wall's thickness away."

I latched hard onto this detail the first time I read GP.

At my worst, I could not get more than a couple hours of sleep in my bed. I kept taking naps in the bath because it was one of the few places I could sleep. It seemed to fulfill some of the criteria (isolation, temperature control, etc) that my brain demanded in exchange for playing nice.

We're told over and over again, throughout Moist's books, that he functions best under pressure.

(Brief aside: This is often cited as a reason to interpret Moist as having ADHD, which I'm also fully on board with. Not coincidentally, narcolepsy and ADHD share a few symptoms, have a notable comorbidity rate, and are treated with some of the same medications. Source.)

So again, if you're already inclined to read Moist as narcoleptic, the following is an easy jump:

"Moist thinks he's good at sleeping in strange places under strange circumstances. This is because A) his basis for comparison is a disordered attempt to sleep in normal places under normal circumstances, B) something about danger satisfies his brain into running more smoothly, and C) he's a resourceful person who is 'not given to introspection,' and so is less likely to wonder why his body demands sleep at strange times and more likely to focus on finding a place for that sleep to happen, and chalk this up later as a skill."

And returning briefly to EDS: Why would someone like Moist waste time finding a safe place to sleep while people are actively trying to kill him? At the beginning of GP, he leaves Vetinari's office and immediately goes on the run. In multiple books, when he feels threatened, his brain instinctively launches into complex escape plans. We see him successfully blend into an Ankh-Morpork crowd at least once after becoming a public figure.

So why bother? After all, a safe place to sleep is also a safe place to change clothes, or at least remove whatever distinguishing features he's given himself. Why wouldn't he just become someone else and leave town immediately?

The obvious answer is that sometimes things just happen, and an author doesn't need to know or explain every single detail of a character's past.

I would suggest, though, that one of those things might be Moist reaching a point where sleep is just not optional. A point where he not only doesn't, but can't, care about anything else. Where he is too tired to think straight, too tired to talk his way out of trouble, too tired to even contemplate the long journey from one town to the next.

2. "Moist knew he ought to get some sleep, but he had to be there, too, alive and sparkling."

Sometimes (especially in combination with underlying mental health issues) narcoleptic sleep deprivation can bypass everything I've described so far, and lead straight into a manic state. You won't necessarily find that on Google, but it's been my experience.

That's obviously not what the text is implying. "Alive and sparkling" is just a very relatable description. And we do often see Moist getting away from himself, speaking without thinking, making absurd promises that he justifies immediately afterwards as Just Part Of Being Him, always raising the stakes.

And here are a couple of excerpts from Raising Steam that could be interpreted as Moist being a light sleeper, AKA struggling to get deep sleep:

1. "And slowly Moist shut down, although a part of him was always listening to the rhythm of the rails, listening in his sleep, like a sailor listening to the sounds of the sea."

2. "All Moist's life he'd managed to find a way of sleeping in just about every circumstance and, besides, the guard's van was somehow the hub of the train; and although he didn't know how he did it, he always managed to sleep with half of one ear open."

Moist is exactly the kind of opportunist to see that as a useful tool, isn't he?

III. Hypnagogic and Hypnopompic Hallucinations.

These are hallucinations that come on as you're falling asleep or waking up. They can also happen during REM intrusions while you're awake. My most memorable ones include piano notes, someone calling my name, being trapped in the waves of a large body of water, and a huge truck going over a guard rail and tumbling down a hill. These are often, but not always, accompanied by sleep paralysis (and sleep paralysis is often, but not always, accompanied by hallucinations).

In GP, Moist casually cites his own hallucinations as proof that what is happening at the post office is not one.

"They're all alive! And angry! They talk! It was not a hallucination! I've had hallucinations and they don't hurt!"

Obviously that's not true for everyone, but it's true for Moist, and he has enough experience that he immediately recognizes the difference.

At one point while awake, Moist "[snaps] out of a dream of chandeliers" to realize someone has approached him to talk, while he was busy having visions of what the post office used to look like/could look like again.

Now, that's cheating, because we're probably supposed to assume it's a side effect of being possessed, but... I'm putting it here anyway.

There is also perhaps a case to be made for the tendency of Moist's internal monologue to lapse into extremely specific and prolonged hypotheticals. The lines between hallucinations, waking dreams, and "regular" daydreams have always been very blurry to me. I'm especially curious about the example at the end of Going Postal, which goes like this:

"Look, I know what I'm like," he said. "I'm not the person everyone thinks I am. I just wanted to prove to myself I'm not like Gilt. More than a hammer, you understand? But I'm still a fraud by trade. I thought you knew that. I can fake sincerity so well that even I can't tell. I mess with people's heads—"

"You're fooling no one but yourself," said Miss Dearheart, and reached for his hand.

Moist shook her off, and ran out of the building, out of the city, and back to his old life, or lives, always moving on, selling glass as diamond, but somehow it just didn't seem to work anymore, the flair wasn't there, the fun had dropped out of it, even the cards didn't seem to work for him, the money ran out, and one winter in some inn that was no more than a slum he turned his face to the wall—

And an angel appeared.

"What just happened?" said Miss Dearheart.

Perhaps you do get two...

"Only a passing thought," said Moist.

In-universe... what is Adora reacting to? What did just happen? The fact that these incidents are not isolated to Going Postal is a point against it being some sort of literal timeline divergence caused by The Spirit Of The Post.

So maybe Moist visibly zoned out. Maybe he had some kind of minor but noticeable cataplexy attack (more on those later) as part of a REM intrusion, brought on by the intense emotions he's currently struggling with.

IV. Vivid Dreams.

Again, at least some of this is probably supposed to be part of the possession, but I've been professionally projecting myself onto the surreal dreams of magically afflicted characters for years. Do try this at home.

1. "Moist dreamed of bottled wizards, all shouting his name. In the best tradition of awaking from a nightmare, the voices gradually became one voice, which turned out to be the voice of Mr. Pump, who was shaking him."

2. Moist is uneasy about the Smoking Gnu's plan, and then he has an extremely detailed dream about the Grand Trunk burning down.

This culminates in "Moist awoke, the Grand Trunk burning in his head," followed by a paragraph of him thinking things through and starting to form his own alternative plan, followed immediately by "Moist awoke. He was at his desk, and someone had put a pillow under his head."

So he fell asleep at his desk, woke up from a vivid nightmare, was awake just long enough for a coherent train of thought, and then passed back out. Which once again is not "proof" of anything, but fits the predetermined interpretation like a glove.

V. Cataplexy.

Cataplexy is a sudden loss of muscle control, usually triggered by strong emotions. This is thought to be a facet of REM intrusion—waking instances of the atonia that is meant to stop us from acting out our dreams.

The most well-known manifestation is laughter making your knees buckle, but it's not always that severe. My own attacks range from facial twitching, usually when I'm angry or otherwise extremely upset, to all-over weakness/immobilization and near-collapse when I laugh. My knees have fully buckled once or twice.

This is the biggest stretch. This is the one that is absolutely only there if you've already decided to read entire novels between the lines. It's also not even necessary for the broader headcanon; plenty of people have narcolepsy without cataplexy (or such mild cataplexy that it's never noticeable, or very delayed onset, etc).

However. I am doing this for fun. So I want him to have it. It's also become a major part of how I imagine Moist engaging with emotion, and I'd like to make a case for that.

There are a few scattered references to Moist's legs shaking, or being unsteady, or outright giving way, but there's usually an external physical reason, and/or enough psychological shock to justify it without a medical condition.

The most compelling example I've found so far comes from Moist and Adora's conversation about people expecting Moist to deliver letters to the gods.

"I never promised to—"

"You promised to when you sold them the stamps!"

Moist almost fell off his chair. She'd wielded the sentence like a fist.

"And it'll give them hope," she added, rather more quietly.

"False hope," said Moist, struggling upright.

"Almost fell off his chair" at first sounds like casual hyperbole, but then "struggling upright" implies it was a bit more literal. It's also an accurate description of me recovering from my more severe attacks, supporting myself on a wall or my spouse, or pushing myself up if I've fallen over in bed.

That happens to me multiple times per day, by the way. It doesn't bother me, and I didn't realize there was anything unusual about it for a long time. I barely think about it, except to fondly note that my spouse is good at making me laugh.

Which is to say, even severe cataplexy is not always noticeable or debilitating. Sometimes it absolutely is! It can be downright dangerous, depending on where you are, what you're doing, and whether you have any other conditions it might exacerbate. I don't want to undermine that.

I am just hell-bent on justifying the idea that this fictional character could have repeated attacks throughout the canonical narrative that are so routine they don't merit an explanation, or even a description. Especially for someone who is used to hiding his few distinguishing features behind false ones that are much more memorable. (See also.)

(That link goes to my own fanfic. Sorry.)

On the milder side, between Going Postal and Making Money, there are three instances of Moist's mouth "dropping open" when he's shocked, upset, confused, or some combination of the three. This is the kind of thing that shows up a lot in fiction, but rarely happens so literally in real life.

(There's technically a fourth instance, but I'm not counting it because it seems to be a deliberate choice on his part to convey surprise.)

And then there's laughter. Or rather, there isn't. I could be missing something, but I've searched all three books for instances of laughter and various synonyms (not counting spoken "Ha!"s), and what I've come up with is:

Moist laughs once in Going Postal, when he receives the assignment for the race to Genua.

Two packages were handed over. Moist undid his, and burst out laughing.

There's also an instance earlier in the book where Moist nearly "burst[s] out laughing."

I find the specifics here interesting, and, for our purposes, fortuitous. Cataplexy is complicated and presents differently for everyone. In my case, when laughter triggers an attack, one of the effects (which is sometimes also a cause) is that I laugh very hard, with little or no control. "Burst out laughing" is quite apt.

Let's move on to Making Money, and start with a quick tangent:

Mr. Bent explains that he has no sense of humor due to a medical condition, and that he isn't upset about this and doesn't understand why people feel sorry for him.

Moist immediately starts in with "Have you tried—" before getting cut off by the frustrated Bent.

Out-of-universe, "Have you tried" is such a well-known refrain to anyone with an incurable condition, I'm not at all surprised to find it in a book written by someone who had at least begun the process that would lead to a diagnosis of early-onset Alzheimer's. And Pratchett has certainly never shied away from portraying ignorance in his protagonists.

In-universe, it feels a little odd. Moist's tongue runs away from him all the time, but usually in the form of making ridiculous claims or impossible promises. Moist's entire stock-in-trade is People Skills, and it feels strange for him to make this kind of mistake immediately after being told Mr. Bent is not looking for solutions.

But if one were reading with, for instance, the idea in mind that Moist himself has an incurable condition related to laughter and is enthusiastic about, but still relatively new to, the practice of drawing on his own experiences to help people... it is easy to imagine the gears in his head turning the wrong way, superimposing those experiences over the tail end of Mr. Bent's explanation. Disabled people are not immune to these well-meaning pitfalls.

There is another Mr. Bent moment that I want to discuss, but we'll circle back around to it later.

I found two instances of Moist himself laughing in MM.

1. "He said it with a laugh, to lighten the mood a little."

This is deliberate laughter, employed as a social tactic. A polite chuckle, probably. Not the sort of thing that generally triggers cataplexy.

2. "Moist started to laugh, and stopped at the sight of her grave expression."

The first and only involuntary laugh in MM. It doesn't always trigger attacks...

Which brings us to Raising Steam. Compared to the first two books, Moist laughs a lot here. I count nine instances. Two of them are "burst out laughing"s, a couple include him as part of a group, some of it comes off as deliberate, and some of it doesn't.

I've always seen a lot of... rage in Raising Steam. Combing through it for laughter, I realized Moist's emotions in general are much closer to the surface here, and he's much less concerned about letting people see them. He laughs with friends and acquaintances, he cries in front of strangers, he shouts at Harry King, he has that entire conversation with Dick that boils down to "I'm very worried about you," etc.

Opinions vary wildly and sharply on Raising Steam. I have my own hangups with it, as I do with most books in the series. (Every time I make a new Discworld post, Tumblr passive-aggressively suggests the tag "my kingdom for a discworld character who is normal about women and other species.")

But I like this particular change in Moist, and I choose to see it as character development. He's trading in the professional detachment of a conman for the ability to grow into himself as a person and make meaningful connections.

So, what does that have to do with cataplexy? A lot.

I don't want to get too maudlin, so I'll just say I have plenty of personal experience with emotional repression masking cataplexy symptoms. And so, I believe, does the version of Moist we've put together over the course of this post.

Which brings us back to Making Money, and Mr. Bent. He says something about Moist that I find very interesting: "I do not trust those who laugh too easily."

Unless I've missed something, at that point in the book, Moist has never actually laughed in front of him. And Mr. Bent is a man who pays very close attention to details.

So, what is the in-universe explanation for this? I'd like to propose that Moist is very skilled at seeming to laugh, without actually laughing. He smiles, he's friendly, and he makes other people laugh, which is another thing Bent dislikes about him. He gives the impression of being someone who laughs a lot. (He certainly left that impression on me; I was very surprised by the lack of examples in the first two books.)

Even staying strictly within the bounds of canon, it's easy to imagine why this might have become part of Moist's camouflage in his previous life. He wasn't looking to get attached to anyone, and he didn't want anyone getting inside his head. Engaging with people genuinely enough to laugh at their jokes would run counter to both of those things, but some of his personas still needed to come off as friendly and sociable.

Still working within the canon, it makes sense to assume he's similarly distanced himself from emotion in general. He sits in a cell for several weeks without truly believing he's going to die. He's bewildered when Mr. Pump points out that his schemes have hurt innocent people. He has no idea what to do with his feelings for Adora. Etc.

Interpreting Moist as having cataplexy adds an extra element of danger. Moist thrives on danger, but there's a difference between the thrill of a con and the threat of sudden, uncontrollable displays of vulnerability. And so it becomes even easier to see him stifling his own emotional capacity.*

We meet Moist at a moment of great upheaval. He is forcibly removed from his cocoon of false identities, and pushed out into the world as himself. And we are shown and told throughout Going Postal that he does not know how to be himself. (See also.)

He is repeatedly stymied by his own emotions. He gets tongue-tied and confused around Adora, he snaps at Mr. Pump, he lashes out at Mr. Groat, he gets lost in school flashbacks when he meets Miss Maccalariat. This thread continues in Making Money, where the sudden reappearance of Cribbins immediately rattles him into making an uncharacteristic mistake.

I called him Cribbins! Just then! I called him Cribbins! Did he tell me his name? Did he notice? He must have noticed!

Later in the same book, Moist misses a crucial opportunity to run damage control on the bank's public image... because he's excited to see Adora.

The Moist of GP and MM is not used to feeling things so deeply. It throws him off his game. I'm not at all suggesting cataplexy is the only (or even primary) reason for that, but I do think there's room for it on both sides of the cause and effect equation.

With or without the cataplexy, I find Moist's relative emotional openness in Raising Steam... really nice. (It's a work in progress. He's still getting a handle on anger.)

Cataplexy just adds another dimension. A physical manifestation of emotional vulnerability, which would have been especially untenable for a teenager on the run. Just one more facet of the real, human, fallible Moist von Lipwig who spent years buried beneath Albert Spangler and all the rest.

Another piece of himself that Moist is growing to understand and accept, as he learns to more comfortably be himself.

The Moist of Going Postal runs into a burning building to save lives without fully understanding why he wants to, and justifies it on the fly as an essential part of the role he's trying to play.

The Moist of Raising Steam mindlessly throws himself under a train to save two children, and then blows up at Harry King about the lack of safety regulations. Freshly traumatized by the murder of several railway workers and his own violent, vengeful response to it, he still offers, in the face of Harry's own grief, to be the one to inform their families. On a long and dangerous journey with plenty of moving parts to think about, he worries about Dick Simnel and the other engineers, and pushes them to take better care of themselves.

He also meets a bunch of kids who nearly derailed a train as part of a childish scheme. His admonishment is startlingly vivid.

"Can you imagine a railway accident? The screaming of the rails and the people inside and the explosion that scythes the countryside around when the boiler bursts? And you, little girl, and your little friends, would have done all that. Killed a trainload of people."

[...]

"I'll square this with the engine driver, but if I was you I'd get my pencil and turn any clever ideas you have like this into a book or two. Those penny dreadfuls are all the rage in the railway bookshops."

Maybe what he is also saying, between the lines, is:

I left home at 14 and began a life of smoke and mirrors. I was empty inside, and I thought everyone else was, too. It was all fun and games, and then a man made of clay told me I was killing people. Nip it in the bud, child. Write books.

------------

*There are studies suggesting that in addition to deliberately employed "tricks," people with cataplexy may experience physiological reactions in the brain meant to inhibit laughter. (Source 1, Source 2.)

Most of the information here is way over my head, but that second link also says "one region of the brain called the zona incerta (meaning 'zone of uncertainty') was only activated during laughter in people with narcolepsy, not in controls. Research on the zona incerta in animals suggests that it also helps to control fear-associated behavior."

The linked article about that (https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-018-03581-6) is also over my head, but I would certainly describe Moist von Lipwig as having unusual fear responses.**

**Narcolepsy is a fun roller-coaster ride of constant scientific discoveries about exactly which parts of your brain are paying too much attention, not paying enough attention, or trying to eat each other.

#moist von lipwig #narcolepsy #discworld #disabled headcanons #oh my god this got so out of hand #earned itself a title AND a subtitle #mr. cybulskis i'm sorry i fell asleep in your class every day it was at the exact wrong time and temperature and lighting

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theggning · 3 years

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In Defense of Piper Wright

DISCLAIMER: People have opinions. People have different tastes in characters, and things that they like and dislike about characters. You are allowed to like whatever characters you want and dislike whatever others for whatever reason you want. You can read everything I say here and go “yeah but I still don’t like her” and that’s fine. There are popular characters in all of my fandoms that I still don’t care for much, and that’s okay! I still like to understand how they are written and what makes them tick.

I like Piper. I think she’s funny and charming and it’s very refreshing to see a bossy, outspoken, pushy, but overall courageous and goodhearted woman in a prominent role. But I’ve been kickin’ around this fandom for a bit now and I have repeatedly seen some incredibly uncharitable takes on Piper, a lot of which strike me as either hugely generalizing or frankly, something I don’t think would be directed at a male character with Piper’s same role and traits.

A lot of people complain that Bethesda “puts no thought into their characters” which I find often translates to “I have not spent any time with this character” (or less often, “this character is not exactly the way I would like them to be, therefore Bethesda is bad writers.”) Most of the companions in FO4 are quite nuanced and multi-faceted, and you learn things about them by traveling with them and talking to them, hearing their comments on various events and locations. Piper is in the unique position of being featured briefly in the main quest, so meeting her is not optional, though having her as a companion is. Because of this, I feel like many people stick with the basic first impression they get of her, and dismiss her on that alone.

So today in my TED Talk, I would like to discuss some common takes I’ve seen on Piper and provide canon evidence why I think they’re off base or overblown. You are free to agree or disagree with my opinion and you can like or dislike Piper, but there is some stuff flying around that is just not supported by canon at all.

On a side-note, you can find scripts and dialogue for all characters in the game on the Fallout Wiki, and read the entirety of their lines and the context for them. It’s fun and interesting and really helps when you’re writing IC fic or character studies like this.

1. “Piper is pushy and reckless and doesn’t think about the consequences of her actions.”

That’s correct. You have clearly met Piper. This is called a character flaw.

“ Never thought a reporter could consider themselves a success until someone threatened their life. Me? I'm very successful.”

In one of Piper’s early affinity dialogues, she explains the origins of her dedication to the truth. She and her baby sister Nat lived in a town outside the Commonwealth with their single father, a local militiaman. One night on watch duty, Piper’s father was murdered. His captain, Mayburn, claimed that he must have been surprised by raiders, but the now-orphaned teenaged Piper didn’t believe him. She discovered that Mayburn was actually working for the raiders, and had accepted a payoff to sell out the town to an incoming ambush. When Piper’s father discovered this, Mayburn murdered him.

Unfortunately, nobody believed her. The mayor was unwilling to listen to Piper, so she made a bunch of posters publicizing Mayburn’s actions and hung them up all over town. The townspeople were horrified and came clamoring for the truth. Mayburn was thrown out and the citizens were prepared when the raiders came, routing the attack and protecting themselves. By reporting what she’d found to the public, Piper avenged her father’s murder and protected her entire hometown-- but she attributes this not to herself, but to the townspeople, empowered by the truth.

“No, those people saved themselves. Because they knew the truth.”

Player Dialogue Option: “Your father died for knowing the truth. It didn't protect him.”

“But how many more people would've died if he hadn't been willing to stand up?”

“Because people need to know the truth. Even when it's bad. Especially when it's bad.”

Piper believes in the power of the truth, the power of people to make their own decisions, and that the best way to put people at ease is to inform them.

You’ve heard it before, that all good characters need to have flaws. And Piper’s biggest character flaw is that she is overzealous in the pursuit of the truth that she values so deeply.

“Course, in my experience, if you want to do real good, playing nice only gets ya so far.”

Piper has a tendency to be reckless and even a little thoughtless when she’s got a “scoop” in front of her. She can be nosy, pushy, abrasive, and is constantly getting into trouble because of it. She has so frequently been arrested that the Diamond City security guards refer to the lock-up as the “Piper Suite.” She regales you of adventures where she very nearly died in the pursuit of a story (one where she was poisoned for exposing a caravan price-gouging, and one where she was nearly sacrificed by the Children of Atom while investigating irradiated drinking water.) Piper is so dedicated to her ideals she frequently puts her own life at risk, getting so fired up by exposing lies and deception she gets tunnel-vision.

This bullheaded dedication may or may not be admirable to you personally, depending on your outlook, but it is objectively a character flaw.

But it’s not true that Piper simply doesn’t think about the consequences of her actions. They ABSOLUTELY get away from her and cause unintended problems sometimes, but she is well aware of this flaw of hers and is not oblivious to the trouble it’s caused. Publick Occurrences is popular and well-regarded within Diamond City, with a large readership base that write letters to the editor and otherwise engage with the paper (you can see many NPCs reading it throughout the city.) Piper herself, though, is not popular at all. The guards warn you to stay away from her because she’s trouble. Many NPCs are reluctant to speak to her. She says has lost many of her friends because they have assumed that she will publish their dirty laundry in the paper (something that there is literally no evidence she has done, or would ever do.)

{A bit emotional. This isn't the sort of thing Piper admits easily. / Neutral} When that first edition hit the stands, I felt like I'd finally done something worth doing, but afterwards, things, things changed. People didn't want to talk the way they used to. Seemed that overnight, I'd gone from being Piper, friend and confidant, to Piper, the nosy snoop. A lot of folks, they haven't treated me the same since. It started to feel like the only person I could count on was my little sis.

We can most easily see Piper’s struggles as this flaw relates to Nat. As willing as Piper is to push and pry and put her own life in danger, she is terrified of anything happening to her sister (whom she has exclusively raised since she was a toddler.) Piper is forced to walk a careful line between her beliefs and their consequences impacting her sister. If she pushes too hard on McDonough, they could get evicted and put Nat in danger out in the wasteland. If she challenges the Institute, they could snatch Piper or, as she truly dreads, Nat. But if she stops printing the paper, they will have no money and Nat will starve (because remember, Publick Occurrences is Piper’s livelihood and source of income, not just a hobby that she can stop at any time.) In a later affinity conversation, Piper reveals that she is afraid Nat will emulate Piper’s reckless lifestyle and put herself in danger.

Yet facing all of this, Piper believes so strongly in the truth that she continues printing the paper. She refuses to find another source of income, to back down from being a thorn in McDonough’s side, or otherwise take an easier path. Because even if she’s pushy or obnoxious or nosy or anything else, the truth is the beacon that guides all of Piper’s actions and decisions. It is the central aspect of her characterization, and must be kept in mind while I dive into the rest of these points.

2. “Piper is responsible for the anti-synth sentiment in Diamond City.”

This one is very popular, and I think it’s because players must dig a little bit for the timeline of major events in the game.

The anti-synth sentiment in Diamond City began with two incidents: the “Broken Mask” and the CPG Massacre. Our good pal Nick Valentine explains both incidents to us.

Mechanical synths like Nick were already a known quantity in the Commonwealth, but “Broken Mask” was the incident where people discovered that the Institute had synths that looked human. A customer at Power Noodles suddenly went berserk and started shooting people. When security killed him, they discovered that the man was a synth (Nick states that the man was “full of gears and sprockets,” and we later learn that he was a very early prototype gen-3 model. Current gen-3s are entirely organic and do not contain machinery.)

After that, people were further terrified of human-like synths by the CPG Massacre. The Commonwealth Provisional Government was an attempt to unite the various groups in the Commonwealth into a real governing body. Representatives, including the Institute, met to discuss the formation of laws and governance. But when the negotiations got messy, the Institute decided it was a lost cause. Their representative, a gen-3 synth, proceeded to kill everyone at the negotiations. In one day, most of the influential people in the Commonwealth were violently and blatantly murdered by the Institute. There have been no further attempts by the Institute to communicate or negotiate with the Commonwealth on the surface.

Here’s the thing though. Broken Mask happened in 2229. The CPG Massacre took place sometime in the 2230s. Fallout 4 begins in October of 2287, over 50 years since the beginning of anti-synth sentiment in the Commonwealth and Diamond City.

There has been 50 years of Institute kidnappings, synth raids and other shenanigans building a slow and growing fear. Piper is, at most, in her mid-20s. She was born into a Commonwealth already suffering and exploited by the Institute, where people live in genuine terror of being kidnapped, experimented on, and murdered. She has literally never known a time without the shadow of the Institute hanging over the heads of everyone in the Commonwealth, and naturally, her passion for the truth empowers her to investigate as much as she can.

As the game begins, Piper is facing the consequences of her latest issue, an article in which she discusses the Broken Mask incident (available to read in game, though realtalk, it seems almost NOBODY takes the time to do so.) She talks about sitting down for some noodles across from Mayor McDonough, and how that was the same situation that victims of the Broken Mask incident were in 50 years ago. By drawing this parallel, she insinuates-- not accuses, not declares, but very carefully insinuates-- that McDonough could also be a synth. This article is explosive and controversial, and results in McDonough locking Piper out of the city and making a speech to defend himself.

Given what we know of Piper, it is almost guaranteed she anticipated this, knew that it would make a huge impact and make people start asking McDonough questions. It is Piper firing a salvo at McDonough in what has clearly been a long-simmering feud between them.

But given other context, this seems like it’s a sudden and extremely shocking move from Piper, not something she does all the time. (In “Dangerous Minds,” during the most recent section of Kellogg’s memories, we can hear Travis on the radio discussing the article and saying “oh, Piper’s really done it this time.” Later on the radio, we hear him making a big deal out of Piper’s article like it is big news, not just another wacky accusation from Piper.)

We have no access to back-issues of Publick Occurrences, so we cannot say for sure what kind of articles Piper has been writing all these years. But there is no evidence that Piper uses the paper as a witch-hunt, or tries to identify specific individuals and accuse them of being synths-- and given her actual feelings about synths, this seems a very uncharitable assumption about her. Piper’s main feud is with McDonough and the way he (doesn’t) deal with questions and concerns about the Institute and kidnappings. There is nothing to suggest she spends her time inflaming anti-synth sentiments on purpose, or that her article was the latest in a long line of hit-pieces designed to scare people or turn them against synths.

There is plenty of speculation to be had about how Piper’s newspaper might throw fuel on the fire of a tense situation. There’s lots of discussion to be had about Piper’s article on McDonough and whether or not she’s crossed a line in publishing it. It is ABSOLUTELY provocative, flirting with baseless speculation, and very questionable journalism. But it’s not the cause of anti-synth sentiment in Diamond City, nor is there any indication Piper is intentionally trying to make that sentiment worse.

3. “Piper hates synths and wants them all dead.”

Extrapolating from the above, I have seen a lot of people claim that Piper hates synths and tries to call them out, expose them, and reveal the truth of their identities at any cost, even if it gets them killed. This is not only a wild mischaracterization of her, but outright untrue.

One mistake many make in writing game meta and theories is forgetting to consider POV. The characters in the game do not have all the same knowledge that we, the players do. NPCs are usually not given the chance to learn, grow, or evolve at all, apart from those who are involved with specific quests. FO4′s companion characters are unique in that they accompany the player throughout the plot, and thus are given a chance to learn new information and offer us their perspectives on it.

When we meet Piper, she is an average citizen of Diamond City. Her opinions and perspectives match those of many of her neighbors and fellow citizens. Neither she, nor the people of Diamond CIty fully grasp the nuance that there are different types of gen-3 synths. Some synths are purposely built and programmed to be infiltrators, to kill and replace real people and assume their identities. But others are simply created to work in the Institute as slaves. They are individuals with their own appearances, thoughts, and personalities. They are not here to replace or harm anybody, and simply seek a way to be free. Because the Railroad is so secretive and because there are no open gen-3 synths in Diamond City (like Nick is openly a gen-2 synth, albeit not by choice), Piper and the people of Diamond City have absolutely no perspective on this fact and do not understand it.

Hell, I’ve seen a shitload of players that apparently don’t understand this, who believe things like “all synths are based on a person who they murdered” and “the Railroad helps synths murder and replace people.” (Reddit and Youtube are very wild places.)

But the minute Piper understands that most escaped synths are simply trying to live their own lives, she is IMMEDIATELY one of the most pro-synth companions. She is vocally in favor of helping synths. She snaps at you if you express the idea that you think synths are machines:

{Concerned} Doesn't matter if someone was born or built. A person's a person. I figured you'd understand that.

She also strongly supports the Railroad, and for all she gets accused of putting people in danger with her journalism, she instantly reins herself in here:

{Excited. / Happy} I knew it. I knew the Railroad was real! {Concerned about revealing the Railroads secrets, then trailing off. / Concerned} But I can't write a story on this. Right? It'd compromise their whole... {Deep breath at the end of this. / Relieved} Okay. Deep breath.

Piper has absolutely no quarrel with synths who are not infiltrators. Nick Valentine is a dear and close friend of hers (and it is a mutual friendship, as Nick references adventures the pair of them have had in the past.) She is kind to Glory and deeply saddened by her death. A synth doesn’t even have to be her friend for Piper to stand up for them-- she vehemently defends Danse during Blind Betrayal and gets extremely upset if you don’t. She is passionate about rescuing Amelia Stockton and putting a stop to the Covenant operation.

There is just nothing at all to support the idea that Piper is some kind of anti-synth Spanish Inquisition, and ZERO evidence that she has ever tried to investigate, identify, or reveal anyone as a synth. Her insinuation about McDonough is not about his alleged synthhood-- it’s about the most powerful man in the city, whose governance (or lack thereof) is having a real impact on people’s lives. Her quarrel with McDonough isn’t whether or not he’s a synth-- it’s that he’s NOT DOING ANYTHING to address the concerns of his constituents re: the Institute. And sure enough, when it turns out that Piper was right and McDonough is a synth infiltrator, she doesn’t give a damn about his nature. She wants him to receive a fair trial and face justice like any other person.

{Angry} You're not getting off the hook that easy, McDonough! You have to answer for what you've done.

{player let McDonough walk / Depressed} So the big, fat liar gets to walk free. Another depressing story to add to the pile.

Should this encounter end with McDonough’s death, Piper is not happy that a synth died. She is upset that a traitorous mayor did not face the justice he deserved from the people he sold out.

On a slightly related note, Piper shares almost ALL of her approvals/disapprovals with Nick. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a single quest or situation where Piper doesn’t agree or disagree with the exact same things as Nick. I wouldn’t go so far as to say we should ascribe to her a “What Would Nick Valentine Do” philosophy, but the two of them are clearly very similar in their opinions and beliefs about mercy, justice, peaceful negotiation over violence or threats, and helping those in need because it’s the right thing to do. Nick and Piper are canonically close friends, but people frequently accuse her of things that we all know Nick would never, ever stand for.

4. “Piper is all talk, and she’s doing nothing to stop the Institute/McDonough.” First off, let’s keep in mind that 1. Piper’s newspaper is also the source of her income and livelihood and 2. Piper has a child sister for whom she is the sole provider and caretaker. As I discussed earlier, even with her reckless nature, Piper is forced to walk a delicate balance between accomplishing her goals and staying in the good graces of the city enough to not be thrown out or suffer any life-ruining consequences for her sister. As one single solitary person, she does not have the resources nor the ability to directly fight the Institute herself, and it is ludicrous to expect her to.

Now let’s talk about Edward R. Murrow.

Piper and McDonough’s rivalry is highly reminiscent of the “rivalry” between 1950s journalist Edward R. Murrow and Senator Joseph McCarthy. You can look this up for the full story but in short, McCarthy was a politician in the 50s whose bread and butter was accusing people of Communism. During the “Red Scare,” an accusation of being a communist was enough to completely destroy someone’s life and career. Those accused would be blacklisted and shunned, and some were even prosecuted and jailed. McCarthy used to throw these accusations around with no regard for evidence, and grew to wield so much political power that people were absolutely terrified of raising his ire (sound familiar at all?) Edward R. Murrow and his crew at CBS News wanted to call out this blatant injustice, but knew that doing so would make them targets and could potentially ruin their lives. Using careful journalism and facts, they presented a news program on McCarthy and his irresponsible actions. As stated on the Wikipedia article, “The broadcast contributed to a nationwide backlash against McCarthy and is seen as a turning point in the history of television. It provoked tens of thousands of letters, telegrams, and phone calls to CBS headquarters, running 15 to 1 in favor.“ It is widely regarded as an example of the power of journalism and freedom of the press, and the events were dramatized in the movie Good Night and Good Luck (which is a very, very good movie, you should see it.)

I think it is very intentional that Piper reflects this real-life true story (particularly given that it took place in the Red Scare of the 50s, the time period that Fallout’s Pre-War America was meant to reflect.) Piper is very much seeking to use journalism and the freedom of the press to right a political wrong.

Mayor McDonough, along with being a classist snob and prejudiced against ghouls, does absolutely nothing about the Institute. Obviously, we find out this is because he’s an infiltrator synth working for them, but let’s consider things from the POV of Piper and your average Diamond City citizen.

No one person stands much of a chance fighting against the Institute, but McDonough is failing in his duties to do even what little he can. He denies their presence, denies that they are a problem, denies that they pose any danger to his city. He accuses anyone who talks about the Institute of trying to spread fear, and uses this “fear” as an excuse to shut down criticism and discussion. (Compare this to Hancock, who empowers the people of Goodneighbor to look out for themselves and each other, and who encourages a climate of courage and unity against the Institute.)

But it’s worse than just discouraging discussion. McDonough actively undermines Diamond City’s ability to defend itself against the Institute. Kidnappings and disappearances in Diamond City are explicitly not allowed to be investigated by security, again citing “spreading fear” as a reason. So if you are a citizen of Diamond City and one of your family members goes missing, then tough shit, you are not getting even the slightest amount of help from the people who are supposed to keep you safe. We wouldn’t want anybody thinking the Institute took them, because that would make people afraid. It is better to just not think about the Institute. Just don’t think about them or pay them any mind, keep your head down and pray that they leave you alone. And we especially shouldn’t be asking any questions about them. Never, ever ask questions.

Piper is willing to ask those questions. To her, McDonough is every bit as suspicious as Mayburn, the captain who murdered her father. He is every bit as derelict in his duties, and once again, Piper is determined to expose him. But McDonough retaliates by accusing her of starting trouble, and creates a climate where even speaking about the Institute is “fearmongering” (and indeed, even some friendly characters accuse Piper of spreading paranoia.)

Pastor Clements: Hate it when [the newspaper] bring up the Institute. Ain't like folks aren't already scared of 'em.

DC Security: I ain't telling you how to pick your friends, but Piper's kind of a troublemaker.

DC Security: It's that newspaper's fault. Got people all riled up, thinking their own family might be replaced by machines.

Complaint Letter in Piper’s terminal: DATE - 10/01 "Your paper is just trying to drum up fears about synths to increase sales. You should be ashamed of yourself."

McDonough gives speeches and cheap reassurances to his constituents, claiming the Wall will protect them (without ever using the I-word) and blaming Piper for “betrayal” and “driving us apart,” as though her journalism is a threat to the city itself:

McDonough’s Speech: {Irritated} I would like to address the subject that is on everyone's mind, and that is the disgusting article Piper has written... Diamond City has stood united for over 150 years. And what keeps us united are two things. {Confident} First, is the great green guardian behind me. The Wall. Our protector and our savior from the filth of the outside. And second, is our faith and trust in each other. The faith and trust that has given us prosperity, security, and education for every citizen. {Irritated} And while the paper might point their fingers at synths and other ghost stories to drive us apart, we will not betray this sacred trust.

Meanwhile, he abuses his power as mayor to kick Piper out of a city in which she owns property. Also, directly brings Nat into things:

McDonough: You devious, rabble-rousing slanderer! The.. the level of dishonesty in that paper of yours! I'll have that printer scrapped for parts.

{threatening / Irritated} I've had enough of this, Piper. From now on, consider you and that little sister of yours on notice.

Piper gets threatened and punished for speaking truth to power, for using her influence and resources to ask the tough questions, and for demanding that an elected official be responsible for the people he leads. Then that elected official scapegoats her, paints her as a liar, and accuses her of taking advantage of people’s fear for profit.

But Piper’s the one who’s out of line here, right? She’s all talk and no action, right? She’s in the wrong for putting McDonough on the ropes, right?

Just as Nick is the only one willing to investigate missing people in Diamond City, Piper is the only one willing to use her platform to demand answers from McDonough. She only gets involved in the main quest at all because Nick knows she is brave enough to investigate the Institute. And Piper doesn’t have an entire faction backing her up, no power armor or subterfuge network or indeed, many allies at all. She’s just one person fighting the Good Fight the only way she can, because she believes it’s the right thing to do.

5. “Piper’s dedication to her ideals puts people in danger and gets people killed.”

Some may have read all this I wrote so far and may think I have some points, but none of it matters because Piper’s pursuit of the truth is reckless. It’s dangerous. She is so passionate about her ideals that she has caused collateral damage in the process. Whether or not she intends to, Piper has inflamed tensions and is responsible for getting people killed.

(I would point out that this is mostly speculation. DC Security blames the newspaper for the event with Kyle, who flips out and accuses his brother Riley of being a synth-- but remember, McDonough is encouraging them to do that. There are no other examples of Piper’s newspaper causing any kind of anti-synth backlash or incidents, apart from vague propaganda spread by McDonough, those on his payroll, or those who have begun to believe it.)

Let’s talk about themes!

One of the major themes of Fallout, the entire series, is the fallibility of groups and ideals. Just as there is no such thing as a perfect person, there is no such thing as a perfect idea, a perfect philosophy, a perfect organization. All through the series, we see examples of groups that strive for things most people would say are very positive: freedom, liberty, justice, glory, prosperity. Pre-War America is the Ur-example of this. The world is littered with satirical propaganda from the time before the war, fake and idealized images of the American dream. Of course, not only did this all end in a goddamn nuclear war of all things, but the wasteland is literally full of evidence that it was always a lie. People, groups, corporations, even the government were fueled by greed, unchecked capitalism coming at the expense of literally billions of human lives.

Post-War factions are no better. In every game, but especially in New Vegas and 4, the player is presented with factions who all strive for different ideals, and are all flawed in some way. Even if they do good things, even if they have good intentions, factions that are too zealous about their ideals and goals are shown to have huge problems. The Institute is a mirror of the pre-War world, science and human advancement at the expense of morals, with absolutely no regard for the lives of those outside of it (or those that they literally create.) The Brotherhood of Steel has the noble goal of preserving technology and protecting humanity from its misuse, but this comes in the form of hoarding, isolationism, imperialism, and human-supremacist bigotry. The Railroad strives to free synths from slavery, but even its own members confess their discomfort with its lack of concern for humans, and their sometimes alarming apathy about human collateral damage. Even the Minutemen, widely regarded as the “best” or “most good” faction, have the weakness of relying on the inherent nobility of their members. As their status at the beginning of the game shows, this is never a guarantee.

Just like every other idealistic notion in Fallout, Piper’s pursuit of the truth is not perfect, and neither is she. She is a flawed person and she cannot possibly be a perfect beacon of the ideals she champions. Using her character, we can examine both the up and downsides of her opinions and beliefs. We can agree with her that the truth is important, that people deserve to know the facts and ask questions. We can also acknowledge that the truth can be cruel, it can whip people up into a frenzy, it can come with unintended consequences that no one can foresee or control. Because Piper does not have a personal quest of her own, we do not get the opportunity to watch her reckon with these facts or to examine her relationship with the truth. We don’t get to watch her grow more enlightened or to gain some wisdom or nuance about her beliefs.

But if we are going to grill Piper and hold her personally accountable for her reckless dedication to her ideals, then I think it’s only fair we do the same for every companion. Because they are ALL characters with flaws, and they all have ideals that they champion, and none of these ideals are going to be seen as universally perfect. So if Piper is directly at fault for the damage her beliefs have caused, then it’s only fair we also blame: (WARNING: SARCASM APPROACHING)

Danse, for his belief in the mission of the Brotherhood of Steel. After all, as one lone soldier in a massive organization, he should be personally responsible for the harm that the Brotherhood does. Over ten years of loyalty and constant immersion in their culture where he is not allowed to ask questions or disobey orders are not a factor, he is definitely a bad person and he gets what he deserves when it kicks him in the teeth later.

Deacon, because he believes in the mission of the Railroad and as I said before, the Railroad gets human beings killed. It doesn’t matter that Deacon wishes the Railroad could help human people too and supports you when you do so, he believes in their ideals so he is directly responsible for any bad that comes of them. Also, Deacon committed the double crime of trying to become a better person and atone for his past sins, so he’s like, not even sincere about his beliefs. What a prick!

Preston, for his belief in the inherent goodness of people. After all, he was too naive to see the fall of the Minutemen coming. People in Quincy died because the Minutemen fell apart over egos and infighting. Even afterwards, Preston is too quick to believe that the Sole Survivor will be a good General for the Minutemen, trusting them entirely to do the right thing when, get this-- they might actually be the Overboss of Nuka-World?! What an idiot!

Hancock, for his belief in freedom to the point of anarchy. You want to talk about somebody whose ideals get people killed? Hancock’s so afraid of being a tyrant that he refuses to put the kibosh on criminal gangs running rampant in Goodneighbor who literally and explicitly murder innocent people, including families. (Silver Shroud quest, anyone?) He pays you under the table to take care of the people he really hates, rather than just making a stand and enforcing some rules in HIS CITY OF WHICH HE IS THE MAYOR.

(END OF SARCASM.)

You see? It’s so easy to extrapolate ungenerous bad faith takes on a character in the same way people do with Piper. All we have to do is look at everything in terms of black and white, with no nuance and no allowance given for context, circumstances, characters’ actual personalities or, indeed, the limitations of writing within a video game.

I think that Piper gets held up to very different standards than many of the other popular companions. She has many of the same flaws as other characters. But those characters are allowed sympathy and complexity and understanding, where Piper is often scorned or vilified-- and I somehow doubt this would be happening if Piper were a male character, or if she didn’t have traits not commonly written in heroic female characters: being pushy, opinionated, loud, argumentative, and “aggressive” (she’s actually just regular assertive, but you know... confident women are always “aggressive” to many people.)

In conclusion, people have a vast spectrum of beliefs and opinions, and a character that one person may like another may hate for any number of reasons. I’m not here to tell you that you are not allowed to hate Piper, that you must like or respect her for the reasons given. But at the same time, I see so many people completely missing the point on her character. They don’t speak to her at all, or they’re just painting her with the most uncharitable brush possible to make her fit their ideas of her.

If you’re going to hate Piper, nay, any character? Then form your opinion on things that they actually say and do in canon, not wild extrapolations and hyperbole that just plain aren’t true. When we’re working with game meta and interpretation and analysis, characters are as they are written in canon, not as we want them to be to fit who we think they should be.

#fallout 4 #fallout meta #piper wright #piper wright defense squad #the piper wright manifesto #like man like and hate whoever you want #but the sheer amount of bullshit i've seen about piper lately has inspired me #i welcome discussion #but you better cite you some sources if you're coming for me

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personuhh · 3 years

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okay so awhile ago you posted something about Yosuke (crazy, right?) and in the tags I believe you mentioned something about how you don’t like Yosukes parents? Could you elaborate? bc I have not stopped thinking about it since you mentioned it (sorry this is so vague my memory is horrid skjdjfjgj)

OYSUEJGHHBKEJHDSGVDH oh my god okay SO. At first I just got ~vibes~ from him... like, I couldn’t quite pin down what made me think he had abusive parents, because obviously he never says anything to indicate it explicitly, but then I started noticing... small things.

I don’t want to say outright that I think they’re abusive (physically or verbally) and I also don’t think that Yosuke hates them, or necessarily even sees anything wrong with how they treat him, but I do think that their behavior has severely impacted Yosuke and led to a lot of the negative traits he displays.

To me, the most telling example is this conversation where he talks about Teddie being praised by his parents for being “thoughtful” very pointedly in front of him. It seems to be a reoccurring thing where they compare him to other people (primarily Teddie) and make him feel inferior. Yosuke’s a bit of a pushover, and frequently gets taken advantage of monetarily, and in this case he’s caved and lent Teddie a significant chunk of his savings for their trip to Tatsumi Port Island... only for him to spend it on presents to suck up to Yosuke’s parents which makes Yosuke look unthoughtful. Yosuke clearly sees it that way, even if Teddie hadn’t intentionally planned it out from the start as such (he calls Teddie “surprisingly shrewd”).

Yosuke gets told off either because a) he didn’t want to fight back/argue, and instead just took a passive stance instead of telling his parents that he was the one to lend Teddie the money in the first place, and thus didn’t have any left to buy them gifts, or b) his parents think so little of him that they don’t believe him at all. He specifically says he doubts his parents understand, which makes me think that he did try to explain the situation.

There are also several instances of a large Junes event being Yosuke’s responsibility, or at least of him thinking that he has to scramble to make things work, like the Junes concert, where he says he’ll have to move away if it doesn’t pan out; maybe this is his own thinking, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it was something his dad said to scare him into helping, especially considering he MUST know that Yosuke is friends with Rise, or the time during the summer where he calls Yu and begs him to help out. Yosuke isn’t a manager, but he’s still got all the responsibilities of one, and even tries his best to work out other employees’ problems as well (look at his SL).

The Junes concert in particular really sent up some red flags for me, especially because Yosuke says this.

“Awfully nice for some reason”?

Yosuke’s got terrible self-esteem, there are countless times where he’s shown to be overwhelmed and embarrassed by completely genuine praise from his friends. In one of the drama CDs he mentions that he intentionally doesn’t try his best in school because he doesn’t want to disappoint himself by doing poorly while also knowing that he gave his all. It really makes me think that his parents just have an abysmally low opinion of him, and he’s adopted that same view of himself.

There’s also several scenes where he talks about his parents finding his porn (or Teddie showing it to them) and in his SL he says his mom “read the title out loud to [his] family” which on top of obviously indicating his family is pretty conservative about that kind of thing, also means he’s had to learn to be secretive with them to some extent. In Arena, Yosuke’s mother goes as far as burning the porn Teddie finds. Even if it's meant to be humorous, Yosuke's property is still being destroyed.

Now these next few things are more... abstract and can definitely be argued, but personally I still find them important to point out when discussing the topic.

Yosuke obviously struggles with toxic masculinity, and similarly to Kanji, feels like he needs to be the ideal, strong man that protects the weak, etc. Even without looking at specific dialogue, you can tell that Yosuke’s been raised to think he needs to be a “real” man, that displaying more “feminine” behaviors is a sign of weakness; because that isn’t just subtextual, it’s something he very visibly displays, it’s part of his arc. He can’t mourn and cry, he has to get revenge (because he couldn’t protect Saki at the time and he watched helplessly as she died, it makes it his fault), he says hugs are for girls (a common sentiment, but he had to learn it from somewhere), and any time he slips up and reveals his actual feelings, he has to overcompensate, let everyone know that he’s just your average teenage boy who’s definitely interested in women. Yosuke’s not the most masculine guy, he likes fashion and cares about his appearance (the bar is so low) and I’d bet that if he were given space to explore his interests without any expectations, he might actually find he’s into stuff that goes against what he’s been taught. He admits to liking crossdressing, then walks it back; not because he’s ashamed of it (on the contrary, once he realizes people found him cute, he openly brags about it), but because he thinks he SHOULD be ashamed of it.

It’s why he feels so threatened by Kanji, who completely takes him by surprise when he realizes his outer appearance and interests don’t match up. Now Yosuke’s got to compete with Kanji over who’s the manliest, show that he’s not like Kanji, because Kanji’s already accepted that side of himself, and it totally goes against everything Yosuke’s been taught to think is “normal”.

So then we look at lines like this.

On its own it’s nothing special, but it’s not just the slogan itself, it’s the way that Yosuke specifically says that his dad is still saying it. Combining this with what I mentioned previously about Yosuke’s behavior, and a few other tidbits, like Teddie mentioning that he watches violent war movies with Yosuke’s dad, it definitely makes me think he’s the type of guy who’d try and push Yosuke into being more masculine, being a traditional, unshakable, unemotional man.

Lastly, there’s the recently identified album on Yosuke’s shelf in arena, and what do you know, one of the songs on it (The Chain, by Mr. Big) has these lyrics...

In my mind, I see Yosuke’s mother as an incredibly controlling, strict woman who expects her son to be utterly perfect, and even when he’s good, it’s never good enough. Yosuke’s father is busy with Junes, and while he isn’t around the house too often, Yosuke sees him at work quite a bit, large and in-charge, not allowing anyone to see weakness, he leans on his son because he can’t bring himself to ask for help. Yosuke’s left to pick up the slack, and he’s taught by example that relying on others is cowardly, that being intimidating gets you further than being “nice”. Even though Yosuke obviously goes against this, he can't fully commit for fear of standing out and disappointing his parents, and that makes him passive; he ends up being a pushover, and neither of his parents are happy about that. He’s a “disappointment” to them, it’s one of his defining traits that everyone loves to bring up. It's something that's shown to really get under his skin, but he can never do much more than get angry, because he truly thinks he is a disappointment, he doesn't think highly of himself, even if he protests.

Maybe I’m reading into all of these things a little too much, but... I don’t know, I’ve said it before, but I just don’t see how half of Yosuke’s personality would have been shaped by anything other than his parents being Not Great.

#ada's writing #yosuke's parents #yosuke hanamura #yosuke appreciation #WHEW. THIS WAS A LONG ONE.#i literally spent like 3 hours on this and i still couldn't find most of the examples i wanted to lol #mentions of abuse #mentions of neglect #official-redhood #ask ada #ada's analysis #yosuke meta

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vivithefolle · 3 years

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I was always confused by Hermiones behavior towards Ron in OOTP. Was she trying to hide her feelings? because she didn't really gave him any signs. Why she was so nasty at him with the teaspoon thing. Was she trying to make him jealous with the letters? What did or didn't she understand from Ron giving her the perfume. Is all this just JKR being stupid because she don't want them together before the very end. Sry for all these questions but I am rly confused can you plz help Vivi?

Once again, I’ll copy one of my Quora essays!

it’s a stereotype to say that girls resort to underhanded tactics when it comes to dating, or like to “test” their partner’s love… but it’s a stereotype for a reason: there are teenage girls who resort to those tactics.

The archetype of the Tsundere exists as an exaggeration of the traits some teenage girls demonstrate when they find themselves in a position of vulnerability such as “having a crush on someone”.

For someone as prideful as Hermione is, having a crush on someone is extremely threatening.

Hermione prides herself in her logic and intelligence. The validation she receives from getting good grades is something she needs, because she’s very insecure deep down. She thinks all she has to offer is her intelligence, and as she goes from a little girl to a young woman, this causes her grief because she doesn’t want to be just “intelligent”. As her body develops and changes, she finds that being the smartest one in the room isn’t enough anymore - she still loves being the smartest in the room, but she wants more than just that, she wants validation for other things. That’s why she was extremely hurt when Ron tactlessly (and Rowling-ly) remarks “you’re a girl” - she wants to be seen as a girl, as a woman, as more than a walking brain. She wants validation that she is a girl, and beautiful, and sexy, and capable of making heads spin. She needs “sexual” validation, for lack of a better term.

Of course she doesn’t really realize those feelings. All she knows is that it hurts when Ron seems to consider her “one of the guys”, or looks at girls that aren’t her. She likes it when he compliments her, but she’s also angry at him because he only ever seems to compliment her intelligence and damn it, she wants him to compliment something else! She wants him to look at her, REALLY look at her! Look at her like he looks at the pretty girls!

Little does she know that Ron does look at her, but he probably thinks he’s a pervert for doing so. Because - because she’s Hermione! She’s not like other girls, she’s not - she’s not the kind of girl you ogle! She’s the kind of girl you gift flowers to - roses, they’re her favourite - the kind of girl you have long, meaningful talks with - not sure if they’re always meaningful, but they sure talk a lot together! - she’s the kind of girl you… the kind of girl you love, not the kind of girl you just look at…

*wistful sigh* Mutual pining, mutual admiration, slow burn, +100k words…

But truth is, many people go around saying that Hermione treating Ron harshly and treating pretty much every boy (with exceptions like Draco Malfoy) more gently is because she actually doesn’t like Ron, and likes anyone but Ron.

When the truth actually is that… Hermione is awful. No, no, seriously, when Hermione is in love, she’s terrible. She can be a nice friend but when she’s in love with you she’s horrible. Especially since she’s a teenager.

Hermione is a prime example of a Tsundere.

The cute, blushy, giggling Hermione who flirts with [insert character here] and cries delicately when she’s rejected? Pure fanfiction. Canon Hermione keeps her love aggressively hidden behind countless iron walls, only letting it peek through when she’s absolutely sure the person she likes isn’t looking.

“How was practice?” asked Hermione rather coolly half an hour later, as Harry and Ron climbed through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room. “It was -” Harry began. “Completely lousy,” said Ron in a hollow voice, sinking into a chair beside Hermione. She looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt. - Order of the Phoenix

Rare footage of the Hermione Granger, scientific name Selfinsertus Overratedus, displaying interest in specimen of mighty fine hunk

Hermione isn’t sweet and tender and kind with the one she loves. At least, the teenage Hermione isn’t. She’s harsh, she’s disdainful and only gives out breadcrumbs of affection once in a while as part of the complicated mind game she’s playing.

You see, Hermione is never going to make the first move. You must be the one to ask her out, because she sure as hell ain’t going to do it for you.

This is due, I think, to the events of Goblet of Fire. Viktor Krum asks her out because Rowling absolutely wants Hermione to be the ugly duckling who transforms into the beautiful swan, so she brings in Cardboard Cutout With No Personality Aside From Being Famous to woo her self-insert.

Now Hermione has gotten the experience of being asked out, and being a rather socially awkward person who also hates being vulnerable - more on that later - well, now she just assumes that if someone asked her out once, then anyone who does like her can do the same.

Which is why she doesn’t realize that Ron is actually aware he loves her. There’s a big comedy of assumptions going on in Romione’s love story.

Hermione believes that Ron either 1) likes her but is oblivious to his own feelings and so she thinks she has to “give him hints” to make him realize it. Emphasized best by this exchange:

Hermione laughed. “Harry you’re worse than Ron [at understanding girls]… well, no, you’re not, “ she sighed, as Ron himself came stumping into the Hall splattered with mud and looking grumpy.

“I’ve sent him so many signals and yet he doesn’t notice. Woe is me!”

2) doesn’t actually likes her, but sees her just as a good mate or worse, as another sister.

Hermione keeps flip-flopping between her two assumptions throughout the series, all because of her biggest assumption: she thinks that if Ron was interested in her, he would ask her out. Because Viktor Krum was interested in her, and he asked her out, so why wouldn’t Ron do the same? They’re both boys and she’s a girl, after all. Isn’t that how it works?

This is also why Hermione’s “““invitation”““ to the Slug Club isn’t even an invitation - really, it’s worse than Ron’s invite to the Yule Ball, at least he was actually offering her to come:

“We’re allowed to bring guests,” said Hermione, […], “and I was going to ask you to come, but […] I won’t bother.”

“I was going to ask you to come but I won’t bother.”

This is literally what she says. It’s more of a “look Ron! An invite! If you’re good maybe I’ll think about letting you have it!” than anything else.

It’s because this is Hermione’s last resort. The ultimate humiliation. She has to resort to inviting Ron when in her mind, he’s supposed to be the one asking her out. He’s the boy! He’s supposed to do it! (And this is why I laugh at all the fools who claim that Hermione is the pinnacle of feminism. Seriously, the girl is more of a misogynist than any other character in the series.)

Hermione failed to take into account that Ron’s insecurity cripples him worse than she imagines, and that he copes with it differently than she copes with her own insecurities.

And this is the part where I explain about Hermione’s hatred of being vulnerable.

You see, I can relate quite a lot to Hermione - I see a lot of me in her, and a lot of people who hurt me in the past as well.

Bullied because she was an easy target, being the know-it-all and local teacher’s pet? Yep. Bullied for her appearance (I got braces when I was 8 and have been wearing glasses since I was a toddler, she had her bushy hair and buck teeth)? Can relate. Cried easily? Super check. Rule enforcer when the teachers weren’t around? Mega check.

And naturally, when you’re such a water fountain as I was, there’s nothing more humiliating than ending up crying in front of your bullies. You quickly learn that it will bring you nothing but more bullying. More humiliation. More vulnerability.

Hence why you start despising any form of vulnerability you find in yourself.

Obviously, being in love? That’s one of the most terrible things you can find yourself in when you’re afraid of being vulnerable. Because, oh god, your feelings are completely insane around the person. They make or ruin your day. You keep wanting to show them how cool / great / impressive you are, and you try desperately to mask all your little faults so they will hopefully return your feelings.

Given that Hermione is already not the most socially-aware battering ram in the knife drawer, she acts especially nasty to Ron, because she’s overcompensating for the vulnerability he makes her feel. And she most likely isn’t even aware of it! Forget Fanfic Hermione cringing as she realizes how mean she sounds, welcome Canon Hermione who just doubles down on a pointless argument just to drive home how totally in control she is and how Ron has absolutely zero effect on her, no siree!

In short: Hermione overthinks. She overthinks everything. She’s overthinking every of Ron’s actions, she’s assuming he’s either out to get her because she assumes he’s perfectly aware of her crush on him and he’s just toying with her (this is the very insecure, pessimistic Hermione speaking), she’s assuming he’s completely oblivious to her feelings and so she uses the ages-old technique of the “subtle hints” to make her feelings known to him (and fails miserably because she doesn’t want to put herself out there too much in case he rejects her, which would be the ultimate humiliation and the worst possible thing to happen to her, in her teenage girl mind), and she’s assuming he’ll never like her the way she likes him, all the while being woefully oblivious to the fact that Ron does want to be with her but she keeps sending him signals that she sees him as a troublesome child rather than a potential partner.

All in all, a teenage Hermione in love is utter torture. She’s her own worst enemy, and it’s only when she decides to let go of it all - of the mind games, of the distancing, of the passive-aggressive; of the overthinking - and just takes a chance that her efforts bear fruit.

There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione’s arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.

(As much as I’m disillusioned with Romione, this kiss is still one of my favourite parts of the series. They mutually sweep each other off their feet for god’s sake, you wish your ship would.)

#vivi answers #ask #romione #hermione granger #ron weasley #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #hp fandom #hp meta #character analysis #hp analysis #romance #teenagers

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talkingbl · 3 years

Text

The Good and Bad of Until We Meet Again (UWMA)

SPOILER WARNING. TW: suicide

The Good:

Our second lead couple, WinTeam. Boun and Prem have so much chemistry it's quite literally seeping through the screen. Every WinTeam scene towards the end of the series feels like you're peeping in on a private moment, and, despite having all of .25% of screen time, every knowing glance feels completely earned

The characterization of female characters. Manaow and Del were awesome the whole time. Both characters felt like actual human beings and not annoying/inappropriate fujo caricatures/evil masterminds attempting to break up our boys

Ohm and Fluke actually have decent chemistry. Ohm has Bright Varchirawit moments where he acts in a way that Dean looks completely infatuated with Pharm

Somewhat out-of-the-box story. A soulmate concept, while quite common in BL novels and comics, is quite rare on camera. I think the way the story was portrayed from two different time periods was a good move too

Fluke's acting in the last 2-3 episodes was damn good. While I wasn't personally affected by his acting, I did find his portrayal of Pharm struggling with Intouch's emotions to be quite compelling. The scene where he threatens to hurt Korn the same way Korn hurt him (Intouch in this scenario) was some of the best acting I've seen in BL

This has probably been said 1000 times by now but Dean and Pharm have the healthiest relationship in any BL I've ever seen. Dean is respectful of Pharm's boundaries and Pharm is generally clear about his timeline and what he does and doesn't want to do with Dean. There's one or two moments where Korn overtakes Dean and he nearly makes the wrong decision, but, unlike other BLs, it is quickly reversed and Dean doesn't make a move that will scar Pharm

This story actually has a story outside of the romance and the characters have interests outside of their love interests. This point is largely a result of the soulmate topic at play though because part of the reason our protagonists even figure out they're soulmates is through the traits and hobbies they share with their past life-selves

LOVE the concept of soulmates being reborn into each other's past-life families. It adds an air of mystery to the plot

The cast all looked like regular every day people and were styled/made up appropriately. No one looked fresh off the runway for no reason and that added to this show's believability

The Bad

When UWMA is slow, it is slow. It can get very boring very quickly. I attribute a lot of the slow-paced feel of the series to the filler episodes in the middle of the series and the scenes where Dean and Pharm are just looking at each other without doing anything substantive. There's also waaaay too many scenes establishing that Pharm likes to cook as if we hadn't caught on to that fact 11 episodes into the series

The main couple competes with their past-life selves (co-main couple?) for the 'least compelling couple' award. Honestly, DeanPharm probably beats out KornIntouch. At least KornIntouch have actual conflict that comes from themselves and not some weird external thing that only shows up in their dreams/when Pharm hears a loud banging noise. I don't know..it just seems like we don't really know why Dean likes Pharm (and vice-versa) and only know why Korn (in Dean's body) likes Intouch in (Pharm's body)

I don't like Korn. There, I said it. His character had the ability to be extremely compelling and emotionally moving but most of the time (with the exception of a few moments at the end of the series) he came off like a self-loathing douchebag

The casual fatphobia was too damn high. Yes, I understand this is not real life. Yes, I understand that it's supposed to be a "joke" but like it wasn't even funny? It was just "Manaow, you're fat, no one will ever like you." << How is that funny? It's also strange because not only is nothing inherently ugly about any size body but Sammy's Manaow was lowkey the most attractive and charismatic member of the cast outside of Boun's Win

They had something good going with the mafia family concept but literally never showed it in the detail it deserved. Would've loved to have seen Pharm/Korn's mafia family business dealings, especially since Korn's brother/Pharm's uncle was a really good side-character who would've made a believable mobster

Despite having driven their sons to suicide, Korn's father gets the benefit of the doubt because he's "still hurting from it"...fuck outta here with that bullshit

Korn and Intouch's scenes looked too modern. It was hard to pinpoint the time period of their scenes because it looked like it was, at the very earliest, set in the 2000s, but everyone claimed it was 30+ years ago (around the mid- to late '80s)

At points, the scenes looked very low budget. The production quality was even slightly inconsistent sometimes scene-to-scene

Pharm being a naive, coy, shivering bottom was highkey annoying at times. He acted as if he had never had an adult (not adult as in sexual but adult as in acting not like a shy child) thought or issue in his entire life despite being a university student

The crying every episode got old very quick. When a character shows too much of one emotion, it desensitizes the viewer to it. Pharm cried so much that I pretty much never cared when he showed sad emotions until he was possessed by Intouch at the end

That's really all I have for now for UWMA

#uwma until we meet again #winteam deanpharm kornintouch #bounprem premboun ohmfluke kaoearth #thai bl boys love #ohm thitiwat fluke natouch boun noppanut prem warut noppakao earth cooheart

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 3 years

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Hi. How are you? Hope you're doing well.

Nowadays, MGS is seen to be more willing in receiving HT's affection/attention. And being more considerate of HT.

What's your opinion on this?

P. S: thanks in advance

Hello, dear anon!

Considering all the things going on in our world right now, I’m doing pretty good, thank you! I hope you’re well and keeping safe, too. I’m sorry to have kept your ask waiting. Every time I tried to get to this, something else came up. It’s been quite hectic in both 19 Days and Given fandom lately. Thank you for your patience!

For this answer, I’m not going to link my previous posts because I will probably touch upon a lot of different Tianshan topics. But feel free to browse my Answered Asks Masterpost for relevant posts.

“Nowadays, MGS is seen to be more willing in receiving HT's affection/attention. And being more considerate of HT.”

I’m glad you were pondering this because I have actually been meaning to talk about something that I think is related to this. A year ago (to the day!), I wrote my take on the Tianshan timeline. According to my interpretation, I divided the journey of MGS and HT’s relationship into three “segments” that went about something like this:

“You’ll answer to me from now on”

HT and MGS started out as MGS almost being HT’s “underling”. MGS was very weary and distrustful of HT. HT used physical violence and threats to submit MGS. HT was very much taking control, and MGS was hostile but also scared of HT’s kind of people.

“Don’t try to shoulder everything by yourself”

HT keeps “honing down” MGS’s personality and trying to make him “an outstanding person” by giving him small tasks and chores. But the tone is different; HT becomes more playful and teasing instead of threatening and intimidating.

First hints of HT gaining romantic feelings for MGS?

MGS gets mixed up in SL’s offer to get expelled and ends up being falsely accused of assaulting a girl. HT and the gang save him, and MGS begins to realize there are people willing to fight for him. He doesn't have to shoulder things on his own.

The infamous first Tianshan kiss.

“I’m so bothered by you…“

HT’s feelings for MGS deepen and gain more layers. HT reveals more of his possessive, clingy, and needy side with those feelings.

A big increase in physical contact in Tianshan interactions. Mainly HT casually clinging to MGS or being touchy-feely otherwise. Touching and interactions gain a more suggestive tone.

In return, MGS becomes more conscious of HT. HT still makes him nervous but in a different way than in the beginning. MGS gets flustered, blushes, and overcompensates like a tsundere.

MGS starts showing more concern towards HT. He gets worried about him and even comforts HT a couple of times.

My timeline left off approximately when HT gave MGS the earrings (ch. 305) and MGS left him the sandwich at school (ch. 309). I didn't really touch the timeline until MGS told HT about how he and SL had met. Despite trying, I couldn't find the post anymore, but I think I reblogged one of my posts about that moment and said that this could mark the fourth “phase” of Tianshan. Either way, I think that was the kind of development in their relationship that I think would be a natural continuum of my “timeline”.

Which brings me to your question, dear anon. I don’t know how far back your “nowadays” reaches or what moments exactly you mean by MGS being more willing to accept HT’s affection, but I do think there has been a shift in their relationship ever since the “SL & MGS backstory”. So, I’m going to treat this as the next “segment” in my Tianshan timeline.

What I want to stress when I’m talking about these things is that it’s all very much relative and vague. It’s difficult to pinpoint where one trait in their relationship begins or ends. In the same way, many of the things I see as a part of this phase might have already been present in the previous ones. It’s just that that trait seems more essential and emphasized now.

“I thought you were dead...”

This phase, the way I see it, is about the increasing trust in Tianshan. Not only did MGS open up about his most painful memory to HT, but HT is also becoming more direct and honest about his vulnerability. His words aren’t veiled by teasing and double-meanings anymore, but he is more “raw” about it.

Another common demeanor to me in this phase is MGS giving into his feelings regarding HT more. He’s been concerned about HT before, but now he’s panicking and even attentive. He allows himself to listen to what HT has to say and rely on the support HT wants to offer. Don’t get me wrong, MGS is still very much of a tsundere. He still curses at HT and pushes his advances away, but as I’ve said before, I think that will always be a part of their dynamics. I doubt that side in MGS is ever going anywhere, but it’s also been balanced more by him being more open to HT.

The development of the increasing trust that was HT learning about MGS’s history with SL had its initial push in how SL approached MGS at the train station (ch. 317):

This incident had two big things. First of all, SL is getting bolder. He’s always been unpredictable but for the most part, he’s remained in the shadows despite the trouble he’s caused. He hasn’t been very keen on direct confrontation. MGS had been under his hold without SL needing to get defensive against anyone trying to take away his “property”.

However, HT has not only been pulling MGS further and further away from SL but he’s also been posing a serious opposition to SL. SL can no longer take advantage of MGS being an outcast and not having someone as strong as HT on his side. I think all that has been increasingly irritating SL. He’s getting frustrated which makes him dangerous. He seemed to be barely holding his cool at the train station confrontation and then ended up chasing MGS through the crowd.

Overall, it was a very stressful situation for MGS, and the first person he literally thought to run to was HT. I don’t want to make it sound too dramatic because I think anyone would have run to their friends in that situation. But still, MGS relied on HT in his panic and distress. He knew he would be safe with HT if he just reached him. He very much trusted HT in that situation, not to mention out of his own volition instead of trying to handle it by himself and refusing anyone’s help.

I think being cornered by SL like that shook MGS as well, and it didn’t take that much nudging by HT to make him talk about his past with SL (ch. 318):

I like how HT was gentle about this but didn't let MGS evade and refuse to talk about it all. If HT was going to protect him, he needed to know what was going on. In addition to that, HT wants MGS to rely on him by sharing the burden with him. “Don’t try to shoulder it by yourself” is repeated again, but this time they are actually facing each other (both physically and mentally). MGS physically slumps and for the first time, he lets all the guilt, anxiety, and self-blame seep through for someone to see. He shares his deepest and darkest secret for which he has been beating himself up for years.

And this massive leap of trust from MGS’s part was met with what I think he was both desperate for but also scared of hearing (ch. 319):

HT saying “it wasn’t your fault” was such a seemingly obvious thing for us but a huge relief for MGS. In these situations, people are often desperate for a “second opinion” but also nervous about it because what if they find us “guilty”, too. Nevertheless, we look for that absolution in other people because it helps us ease our own guilty conscience. Living with guilt is probably one of the heaviest burdens to carry in life.

MGS telling HT the story of him and SL and being relieved by HT’s words and comfort was a huge step of trust in their development. Especially for MGS. I think the relationship deepened for him at that moment. It was something he had never revealed to anyone, and that tied him to HT in ways that he wasn't really tied to anyone else. (Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say he was tied to SL in a similar but opposite way which is interesting.)

Reaching for trust has also worked in the other direction in this phase. In addition to MGS trusting HT with his most painful secrets, HT on the other hand has been initiating that he trusts MGS with his vulnerable side too (ch. 323, 343):

HT has shown his vulnerable side before a few times, but he’s been more guarded about it. Instead of directly opening up like this, he somewhat always masked those feelings. I would say HT still very much likes to control those situations when he’s vulnerable by offering to talk about them, but he doesn’t get defensive about MGS knowing about his past or feel threaten by MGS knowing about his weaknesses and painful things.

I do think HT has trusted MGS as someone around whom it’s safe to show his vulnerable moments. But these days, it’s as if HT has decided to talk about his past and fears. It even looks like he wants to talk about them to someone. And instead of asking “don’t abandon me” like he’s ashamed of asking that from MGS, he is now more confident about not wanting to be alone. (This development is probably at least partially connected to the possibility that HT has known their time is limited for a while now.)

For now, MGS seems to be somewhat putting up with this side of HT. Unless it’s something that would require MGS to react and act somehow (for example, HT getting hurt), MGS seems to be more passive. We haven’t really seen him show much interest in HT’s past/vulnerable confessions or pass comments on them. I’m interested in seeing if he will gain a more active role in this regard.

Besides the increasing trust between MGS and HT, another thing I have noticed in this phase is that MGS has more “inner push” to care about HT and believe him. I find it a bit difficult to explain what I mean by that exactly, but I hope I manage to make some sense of this.

As I said earlier, I think the leap of trust regarding the SL backstory was at least partially induced by the pressure and shock of SL attacking MGS. In a similar way, I think MGS thinking HT had died cause him perhaps be more honest to himself regarding HT (ch. 329):

Nothing quite puts things in perspective as swiftly and violently as a death scare. When facing something as final as dying (either dying yourself or losing someone in your life), it clears up our priorities and makes us realize what matters to us.

As far as MGS is concerned, HT hadn’t been in this kind of sudden and unexpected danger like getting crushed by the landslide. They were all - MGS included - virtually powerless against such force of nature. All they could do was dig with their bare hands and hope it wasn’t as bad as it looked. I’m sure having HT behind his back one moment and not the next shook MGS deeply and made him realize what it would be like to lose HT.

I would like to think that that scare made MGS think about what HT meant to him, and that ultimately “coaxed” MGS to give HT more of a chance (ch. 340, 344, 346):

I’m trying to choose my words with care because I don’t want to make it sound like MGS’s resistance and reluctance when it comes to HT has melted away. I don’t think it has and I don’t think it ever will be gone completely. As I said, I think he will always have his tsundere nature that says “no” to everything almost automatically before he even considers it through properly.

What I’m trying to say instead is that MGS seems to consider HT’s feelings more and also be more open to believing in what HT is trying to tell him because having HT in his life shouldn’t be taken for granted. Maybe MGS thought that he could be more fair towards HT and not be so quick to reject everything. Also, maybe he could lower his guard and try to internalize what HT is so persistently trying to tell him. I do think MGS trusts HT to help him if he’s in trouble, but trusting HT to support his dreams is another thing. That is not an issue of just trust anymore, but it’s also about MGS having the courage to go for what he wants.

This hesitance and self-evaluation of sorts in MGS is also paired up with HT playing the kicked puppy card more shamelessly. It seems HT has discovered what tone to take if MGS rejects him. Is milking his injuries playing a bit dirty? Eh, I guess, but I don’t honestly see much harm in that. It’s cute. What comes to acting hurt if MGS refuses to listen to him, I think it would be a nice change if HT lets his hurt show. As much as I love MGS, I think it’s good that he also has those moments when he feels like he said something hurtful.

In my previous “timeline” post, I wondered if HT’s romantic feelings towards MGS started shaping somewhere around the second “ Don’t try to shoulder everything by yourself“ phase. Now, I’m wondering if the future developments of this current phase will lead to MGS discover those same romantic feelings. Especially if HT is leaving which would make MGS think about what HT means to him even more.

That’s pretty much what I have gathered in this “phase” so far. If we get back to your original question of why it seems MGS is more willing in receiving HT's affection/attention and being more considerate of HT, I think the answer lies in the deepening trust (both ways) and MGS realizing and allowing himself to recognize that HT does actually mean quite a lot to him. Through the moments I talked about, their relationship has deepened in new ways and they’re both trying to be more open about themselves and to each other. Of course, this is only a handful of chapters and the moments I mentioned are also accompanied by a lot of the “usual” Tianshan dynamics. So, I would say that this is the “early stages” of their new phase even though the development turns have been quite big.

Thank you for your question and your patience, dear anon!

#19 days #tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan #answered ask

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azenta · 3 years

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how do you go from a place of over identifying with your enneagram and using it as an excuse for your negative behavior to actually using it as a growth tool? is it possible to completely stop identifying with your type someday?

Short answer: Construct a sense of self/identity that isn't rigid and fixed, which requires to look outside of typology. This means being flexible about your Self, about what makes you "you".

Asking yourself some simple but fundamental questions greatly help to accomplish that, such as: Who are you? How do you define yourself? What are your traits? Your best? Your worst? What are your interests? Do they define you? Or which does and which doesn't? Why? Have you always been like this? What did change through time? What have stayed the same? What do you value? What do you like? What do you hate? Why? What are your ideologies about life? Etc. The goal is to not use typology to answer those.

Explanation: Ironically, people over-identifying with their type, ennea or even MBTI one, are often people that hadn't a clear sense of self to begin with (I include myself in that). The type becomes a sort of solid and clear basis, however, due to that previous blurriness of self, the moment the person changes (read: grow, improve), then that basis also deform. This becomes threatening instead of empowering, because this brings back to the initial blurriness and uncertainty. And without certainty of Self, it becomes difficult for the Ego to know if what is coming its way is "good" or "bad", thus triggering resistance and many defense mechanisms.

This leads to get stuck in loops of proving you are the type (read: self) you say you are, thus acting even more as expected of said type. So, it gets you stuck and entrapped into a way of being, and so stuck in place into your development.

It can even push people to go downward (unhealthy stages) because the unhealthier you are, the more rigid (or flaky ; explained below) you are, and the more rigid, the more "solid" and constant the type becomes. But the more you look like that type, and the more your sense of self seems solid, the more you incarnate that type, and the unhealthier and the more stuck you get. This is a never ending loop of confirmation bias.

However, we, living beings, need to change and move along life. In order to live, and to survive, we need to adapt, and to adapt we need to change whatever needed in order to measure up with life's circumstances. Over-identification implies a resistance to change, because there is a fear of change, due to this momentarily instability it brings. There is an ego distortion happening, a distortion that change of self means death of self, due to loosing what made you "you".

However, change doesn't mean you will loose the essence of who you are, but it means this self essence will inherit new elements to it. You don't loose yourself, you gain new parts to yourself. Of course, some parts will get lost, but if they get lost it's because they didn't serve you nor were they truly aligning with your Self. So, it's not loosing your Self but rather decluttering what isn't anymore.

The Ego however has an important role and job, it is to protect that sense of Self. Its goal is to be a stubborn bitch that challenges both the internal and external. Without challenging you or the world around, there wouldn't be anything solid or stable, about the world or yourself. Thus the human quest for "Who am I?". You need to have an idea of yourself to know where you place yourself in any given environment. Being adaptable is important, but being overly so isn't better either. That's why the Ego exists and create that fixation. But this thick layer that is the Ego is also what can lead to the initial over-identification problem.

The problem with the Ego is when it gets so thick that nothing go through it ; neither in or out of it. This is why it becomes important to make changes, to make that thick layer stay a protection and not a nuisance, thus it needs to shift and get renewed.

Though, the reversed problem also exist, and some people rather have an Ego made to be fluid and elastic. I mentioned earlier you can also become flaky instead of rigid, which will result in similar problems, but it is simply a different extreme adaptative method. This method rather leads to be extremely adaptive, but also being unstable and inconsistent. Instead of being a subject in the environment you become an accessory, which isn't good for individual survival. And you need that individuality to strive into a group or in relation to other, thus why it is also a problem.

The former problem associated with over-identification creates an immovable object, and the latter creates a difformity that isn't anything on its own. The latter creates someone who can't identify with anything and also resist identifying for too long with anything, which is also seen quite a lot in typology communities. This is why I wanted to point it out.

In the end, to conclude about over-identification, you need to spot which traits are the most rigid about yourself. Which ones you over-value in a black and white fashion, and you have to go through some cognitive reframing about it. E.g. if you consider yourself a perfectionist, and the moment you finally let loose a little you automatically compulse back into perfectionism tendencies, then you have to question yourself about why it matters so much to the point of freaking out when things aren't "perfect" according to your criterias. Becoming less perfectionist doesn't mean becoming the polar opposite and becoming Careless either. Neurotic perfectionism ironically impair to attain anything at all. Therefore, you need to seek ways to loosen that trait, in order to bring some balance.

Every trait has good and bad about it, the goal is to find the middle ground where the costs are lower than the benefits you gain from indulging those characteristics. Again, with perfectionism, it could be to reach becoming "Exacting". It's not on the other side of the continuum which would be Carelessness, but it's not as extreme, rigid nor even as demanding as being a neurotic perfectionist. And it still defines the Self.

You can also look at your integration point and aim for your integration type traits and qualities as well. This can ease the process a little by giving you straight objectives, and then adapt it to your personal circumstances. The risk is if you aren't properly typed and rather overly identified with the idea of a type, which is also very common. So, I recommend the longer but safer approach of redefining yourself from scratch, identifying your most rigid traits and proceeding to loose them off slowly. One day and one step at a time.

I hope it answered your question. I went on ranting on many things to try to give you advices about this, and tbh, there would be much more to say about this topic. But the essentials are said. If you want any precision or have any other question, you are welcome to ask.

#ask #typology #enneagram #identity #change #ego #traits #personality #over-identification

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regrettablewritings · 4 years

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Can I request a Love head canon with Geralt please? I just read the pre-relationship one you did for Jaskier and I absolutely loved it!!

I mean... I can try 😅 Though, I think it should go without saying that Geralt isn’t exactly synonymous with love and affection as we relatively human beings interpret them . . .

Who said “I love you” first?: Assuming we’re sticking strictly to the verbal expression of the phrase, I believe you already know the answer to this. After all, it’s simply not in Geralt’s nature to be the most talkative person, much less vulnerable and affectionate. And that’s referring to his nature as being Geralt of Rivia and not specifically his nature of being a Witcher. You could wait an entire run of three human lifetimes and still potentially have to wait just a bit more to hear Geralt willingly say, “I love you” in this manner. It’s nothing against you, of course, but it’s better for you to recognize this and accept it than force otherwise. Besides, it’s not as though he doesn’t appreciate it: Deep down, Geralt is beyond startled that you would willingly apply such affection and devotion to him of all people, and a Witcher at that! Though, if you’re willing to stretch the expression one uses for “I Love you”, then it’s arguable that Geralt said it first, in some way, considering that . . .

What are their primary love languages?: Geralt is a very . . . sexual being. Physically aggressive. And considering his complex relationship with Yennefer, it therefore would stand to reason that his primary expression of “love” comes in the form of physical touch. Hell, if love languages were a thing acknowledged of the period (and if Geralt ever even cared to acknowledge them), he might’ve grunted and agreed so himself, even if only to get the conversation over faster. But the longer he spends having you as his companion, the more evident it becomes to him that this may not be the case. The thing is, physical touch can be more than just sexual release -- but for him, that’s all it ever was, simply because it was easier for him to do when Yennefer was still around. But since then, he’s come to recognize that perhaps he has more to offer than he gave himself credit for: Geralt operates through acts of service. Geralt is never going to be the most openly expressive one of the bunch, even when it pertains to you. But he’s always going to show his care for those whom he has a soft spot for by assuring their safety and well-being -- in odds and ends, so to speak. He’s never going to write you sonnets or wax poetically to you; he will rarely hold your hand just for the sake of doing so, or be the best at offering words that could technically be comprehended as affectionate. But when he notices you’re tired, he won’t hesitate to place you on Roach’s back -- an absolute honor, considering his protectiveness towards the mare. He’ll make sure that you’re warm and sheltered when you break camp, even if it comes at the cost of his own comfort (not that he feels much of a difference after this point anyway). If he thinks you may be doing something or even considering doing something that might put you in harm’s way or cause you mental or emotional pain, he’s unafraid to shoot that shit down (he loves you enough to let you hate him, so to speak). It may be the bare minimum that he saves you from a death of cold or starvation or hazardous encounters, but for him, it’s a way of showing he at least respects your right to continue living. He doesn’t really expect anything back besides respect. And perhaps some . . . physical comforts. But, once again, to his surprise, he’s not solely focused on physical touch when it comes to you. At least, not as intensely as he normally would be. What Geralt specifically appreciates form you is words of affirmation. But only from you: None of that showy, obnoxious nonsense that Jaskier calls music. Geralt likes feeling recognized as a person, questionable as that sort of title might actually be. He just likes being talked to to a degree, over small things. The affirmations come where you openly appreciate him for his efforts and bravery, and even when you thank him for taking care of you. Being a Witcher is a thankless job. But hearing you appreciate him for everything, big and small, and acknowledging his more humanistic traits at the same time? It does him more good than both you and he ever thought it could.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?: The closest you get is when the two of you are either in a very crowded market place or are running and you’re having trouble keeping up: He’ll hold your hand to assure you don’t get separated or left behind. There’s also, of course, the preservation of body heat when the both of you wind up breaking camp on a particularly cold night. But other than that, I wouldn’t expect much in the ways of affection.

What are their favorite things to do together?: The lifestyle you both lead (well, that Geralt leads -- you simply adopted it by association) doesn’t exactly lend itself well to couples’ hobbies . . . But the two of you haven’t bitten each other’s throats out yet, so clearly you’re doing something right, no? You aren’t quite sure what it is, but you heavily suspect that it might be when you ask Geralt to tell you about the creatures he’s encountered. Not in the “Tell Me Stories of Your Amazing Feats” kind of way, but more so in a manner of “Please Make Me Aware of the Weird, Strange, and Horrific Beings Lurking in This World and How To Combat Them”. Which suits Geralt well enough, as he tends to skimp on the details and doesn’t care to describe battles or anything of the sort. He knows that you’ll never be a Witcher, but it surely couldn’t hurt you to have an awareness of the world around you. Besides, he’s witnessed far too often the slaughtering of perfectly harmless creatures due to ignorance -- he feels a sense of relief when you express an interest in learning how to differentiate beasts with intentions of harm and beasts that simply want to be left alone unless provoked.

Who’s better at comforting the other?: Neither of you is especially great at it, but for different reasons. Though it should at least be said that you’re better skilled at comforting than Geralt is: You by far are the more emotionally available and intelligent one between the two of you, so the efforts you put forward are at least more overt. However, given that Geralt is a rather standoffish person and not especially prone to expressing vulnerabilities of any kind, it’s hard for you to know if you’re getting through to him. He won’t make it blatantly obvious if something is bothering him unless it’s bothering him in a way that earns his aggression -- and even then, he doesn’t need comfort, he needs you to gently chide him and calm him down as one does to an agitated horse or dog. Or a wolf, in this case. Meanwhile, Geralt . . . just isn’t the best at comforting people. At least, not in the most traditional sense. When he tries to be, it comes off very awkwardly, the words not filled confidence as much as they are hesitancy. It’s only made worse by the fact that his gruff, barely-used voice just isn’t compatible with the words he tries to use. Which is why he feels the best he can really offer to do is just say nothing at all. He won’t reject you or even flinch if you were to bury yourself into his side, instead just slowly placing an arm around you and trying to give a consoling, if stiff, pat on the back. Please know that this is him trying his best, and that he’ll be far more relieved than you’ll be if you actually do find some semblance of comfort in his seemingly low-effort efforts.

Who’s more protective?: Geralt wouldn’t consider what he does protection -- it’s simply what he, well, does. He’s always fighting creatures (and people) in self-defense or for a cause of some kind. And whenever Jaskier joins the two of you, or once Ciri becomes a part of his life, the job only intensifies. Him keeping you alive is simply common decency, lover or not. But if one were to ask someone who’s more emotionally observant like, say, a certain bard who occasionally accompanies the two of you, then he would beg to differ: Geralt is fiercely protective of you, he just does so quietly. Contrary to his stony nature,he does value your well-being. And even if you’re a commendable fighter, he acknowledges that it’s not as up to snuff as his own, making him feel more obligated to assure you come out of encounters alive and well. This is more obvious in the wilderness, of course, but when it comes to civilization he tends to become a bit more lax. He trusts you enough to measure your options when, say, some men at a pub are making particularly bawdy comments about you. He also trusts you to know when to whip out that knife you always keep on you. However, you needn’t worry about him turning a blind eye, should things threaten to escalate: Whether you’re at a marketplace buying some necessities, or paying for your meal at a tavern, Geralt is never so far away that he can’t keep a close eye on you or be unable to step in, should the environment intensify.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?: Geralt likes verbal affirmations, yes, but don’t discount physical: At least he doesn’t have to talk or respond when at the end of a long day, you sit next to him and nuzzle your head up to the crook of his neck. Plus there’s the whole intimacy he experiences for the first time in its true form when you and he finally decide to take that step.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?: Hm. It’s hard to say, especially considering that Geralt is a hard person to apply music to, much less music with a narrative or one that actually sounds like anything he might listen to, particularly in a romantic setting. I had to push past that mindset just to pick anything, and what that got me to conclude was something along the lines of “Love Like You” by Rebecca Sugar or "Resilience” by Thomas Newman. Maybe “My Blood” by Twenty-One Pilots. I can’t place exactly how or why, especially sound-wise, but these just stood out to me in particular . . .

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?: You two don’t really resort to nicknames, actually. “Geralt” isn’t exactly an easy name to harvest a nickname out of, and he doesn’t do anything that particularly warrants one in reference to an idiosyncrasy. The closest you ever got was trying out “Wolfy” in reference to his title as “The White Wolf” but the look the attempt received, coupled with your own realized distaste for it, made you drop it in an instant. And Geralt just isn’t the sort to apply nicknames in the first place.

Thank you for requesting this! I hope I did okay . . .

#geralt x reader #geralt imagines #geralt imagine #the witcher imagines #the witcher imagine #regrettablewritings #character headcanon meme #character ship meme #unrelated but GOD i love how he looks in that gif #just subtle yet shocking right???

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pantheon-god-of-war · 3 years

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I made a post on Twitter and learned that Pantheon x Aphelios is a genuine ship like Aphelios x Sett is? Honestly I only ever cared about 200 years when I kicked his face in while ulting bot. I think his story while tragic is very isolating. So I went back to read through the lore of his again to make sure I remembered everything correctly from the first time I read it back when he was released.

Now bare in mind I do not ship bash, if you like the ship more power to you, I won’t discourage anyone from shipping what they like. It’s all fiction. That said I will analyze the two of them and see if I can find some common ground from the lore material we have.

Aphelios and Alune were both children of the Lunari and were heralded to be these great children of destiny for the lunar faith. From a young age they had all this weight thrust upon them to defend the Lunari as fighter and seer. This supposed great destiny, while it turned out to be true is quite brainwashing for young children and incredibly manipulative. It is stated that Aphelios had a very strong and deep connection with his sister which in turn hurt him when she was not there since he likely felt isolated and had severe problems fitting in with others. Its a common phenomenon that certain individuals who have a singular best friend or sibling suffer immensely when that person leaves and they are left to deal with others, much like some of us have most fiends online these days and desperately wait for said friends to get on so they will have company. It even says that without Alune his faith wavered, clearly tying him immensely to her so much that there is a dependency on her closeness that correlates to his effectiveness in combat or even as a functioning human being as it is said that he lost his very purpose. It seems like while Alune firmly believes in the Moon Aphelios believes in her and whatever she stands for, so will he. I don’t want to say Moon Simp here because they are brother and sister but in essence he very much does what she commands, even in game. Its a very unhealthy sort of hyper dependency as without her he just falls apart.

In this desperation he comes across noctum on a spiritual journey and consumes it only to later understand that he is to live as a conduit for Alunes magic. I like this excerpt out of his story because it highlights the duality and the tragedy of their relationship.

Only now did they understand their destiny. Aphelios would hollow himself out with pain, but would become a conduit for the moon’s power. Alune would live alone, isolated in her fortress, but she would guide her brother, able to see through his eyes.

While it is tragic it really takes away from his own character. He has no real will of his own at this point, Alune is faithful to the moon and guides him in any way she sees fit as she is the seer, he is merely the earthly vessel for her actions that are in the best interests of the Lunari.

With Aphelios previously already being quite anti social as he only focuses on Alune this connection should amp it up tenfold. Imagine having the only person you really care about in your head constantly talking to you and telling you what to do so long you are under the painful influence of a harmful substance. It makes him the epitome of a living tool, because he does not speak or feel and because he is hyper fixated on his sister. When you hollow your body out with a poison that numbs you to all sorts of feelings there is really little sense for physical companionship as you have numbed yourself to the point of not being able to speak, with constant pain coursing through you. That is without Aphelios innate antisocial behavior

All and all this paints Aphelios as a silent killer who works alone, gets his missions either from Alune exclusively, or convenes with Lunari elders on what targets need to be eliminated. He very much reminds me of Agent 47, take the job, maximum efficiency, get it done, get the next job. His destiny or purpose is to serve the Lunari and keep them safe and anything that keeps him from achieving his singular purpose is either an obstacle or not worth his time.

Pantheon is a whole new problem in that he hates everyone on the mountain, to varying degrees but still. His one big defining trait is that he stands up to the gods, aspects and darkin. He renounces the power of the aspects and the gods dominion over Targon and will fight nearly anything to follow his belief. He threatens Aurelion Sol, fights Xerath and generally just howls at every aspect ascended, demi god, or darkin there is. When mom told Atreus to pick his battles he simply said “I’ll pick em all” and off he went kicking everyone ass.

Pantheons place in Targon is very uncertain. I said this before when he got reworked that this stance against the gods will put him at odds with everyone on Targon. The Solari and Lunari believe in their respective gods, the Rakkor or Targonians all believe in either of those gods or worship other constellations since in Targon this ascended magic is something to aspire too. People look up to the stars, ask them for guidance, read their fate in the stars, trust them and even pilgrim from every corner of the earth to worship and marvel at the gods. Pantheon would be at odds with every single person and while he won’t slaughter everyone I think the canonical thing for Pantheon to do is just leave mount Targon and fight other gods OR actually challenge and kill Leona, Diana Taric and so on. Which would be a very dark but also very possible path. Kill the aspects to show the masses that their gods do not save them and demand exponentially more than they ever return. For that Pantheon would have to end the Lunari and Solari faith and completely reshape the way people on Targon think about the stars, and as much as I love Pantheon I do not see that as something possible, nor do I see him as the kind of man who would force anyone to agree with him. He carries his rage and resentment but he will not force it upon another, rather confront the person responsible and settle it with them (the gods).

Now Pantheon did fight with the Ra’Horak in his fight against Xerath. Where it was actually the Ra’Horak fighting Xerath before Pantheon arrived. I am guessing that was because the first sun disc was constructed in Nerimazeth and the Solari desired it for some reason, but I am getting off track here. Pantheon helped the Solari warriors, which leads me to believe that perhaps he can exist on Targon in a way. But with the circumstances I think it was more him fighting against Xerath. Since that thing was clearly a godlike entity that he was all but ready to kill. The Solari just happen to be there and he decided to aid the mortals fighting against a god, that does not mean he agrees with their beliefs.

Had Aphelios fought Xerath, would Pantheon have helped? Sure, probably. I think Pantheon would also help Leona and Diana against Aatrox if they needed his help again. It’s all a matter of hierarchy. Who is the greatest threat and who is a lesser one. So I could see them working together against a greater common foe for sure but more I think not.

His quote to Aphelios is at first glance more positive, but considering all the underlying character traits I think it is a little darker than what it at first implies. Pantheon knows that it is human destiny to fight for survival and only those strong and brave enough do not shy away from the pain and anguish that decision costs. Pantheon understands Aphelios motivation, why he fights, that does not mean he supports it.

To Pantheon, Aphelios is a man so zealous and devoted to the moon that he would willingly forsake his humanity, poison himself and suffer for eternity so that he could enact the will of the moon, a god. This is going to really set of Pantheon’s past when the god of war possessed his body, forced him into the back of his own mind only to do what he wanted with Atreus flesh. That is the exact breaking point on why Pantheon and Aphelios will hardly ever see eye to eye. One of them a devoted zealot, willing to surrender it all in service to the moon, the other a warrior who despises the gods and their machinations above all else having once been at the mercy of one of them. With Aphelios added antisocial character I really doubt they would ever exchange much words. Perhaps Pantheon extends an olive branch and tries to get Aphelios to live for himself. But Aphelios would refuse, if no one else could sway him from this singular purpose in life which he has grown up with since his birth, this random warrior won’t be able to sway him either and here the line from Pantheon comes back in as a sort of, “I understand and hail your conviction.” before the fight, where he respects the resolve, but not the reason for it.

That’s why I don’t think they are quite shippable. The only two people I could really see Aphlios with is either Diana or Taric. Diana only if she embraces her role as leader of the Lunari where she comes to appreciate what Aphelios does for her people but is worried about his own mental health, from one antisocial who has grown above it to another. She could perhaps understand and through said knowledge know how to help him open himself up more. That is if she cared enough. Taric on the other hand would feel the damage and pain in Aphelios, and as all life should be beautiful so would he try to mend Aphelios. He clearly has the warmth, care, compassion, and patience to deal with someone as secluded as Aphelios, gently prying him open until he finally lets himself feel again and maybe finally finds someone who can help him open up to other Lunari and Targonians. Isolation is a terrible thing and it leaves horrible scars. I see only Taric in a position where he could mend those scars. Pantheon likely would not care, he is cold and angered himself, no mercy for the strong, as he says. That’s why I think they would clash or would just never get past the cold nodding before combat phase.

This isn’t to bash any people who like the ship, I just thought id give my two cent on Pantheon x Aphelios and why it never occurred to me to ship these two. I get that emo x himbo is a thing, probably also why Aphelios x Sett is so loved, but from a lore and character standpoint I don’t really see it.

This was a post I’ll link to twitter, but if you have input or a different opinion I am always open to discussion and new viewpoints. Go crazy!

#Pantheon #Aphelios

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mybg3notebook · 3 years

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Gale: Hypothesis and Analogies – Part 2

Here, I will compile several hypotheses that are pretty common to find around and I will express my opinion on them showing what EA has given us so far to justify them or not.

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in June 2021.

Disclaimer about interpretations of Real Life concepts: I’m not a fan of bringing real life issues into plain analogies/allegories in a game which intention in doing so was not made explicit, but the fandom seems to like this aspect and therefore I would like to share those opinions here as well since some seems reasonable despite not being of my taste. This topic may be sensitive for some people. Be aware of it.

Hypothesis: Gale is a gaslighter

Concept

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgement. It may evoke changes in them such as cognitive dissonance or low self-esteem, rendering the victim additionally dependent on the gaslighter for emotional support and validation. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction,and disinformation, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilise the victim and delegitimise the victim's beliefs.

A gasligther's ultimate goal is to make their victim second-guess their choices and to question their sanity, making them more dependent on the abuser. Fandom does an incredible misuse of this word (and similar ones), that over-magnifies situations which don't have those dimensions. For example, it’s pretty common to read in this fandom that Wyll “gaslights” Tav when he denies that his eye is a sending stone. Gaslighting and lying are not synonymous at all.

Then, what's the difference? A person usually lies by either withholding or concealing information, or falsifying information and presenting it as true.

Gaslighting is similar to lying, but a gaslighter will also be attempting to confuse the other person by flipping a situation and putting the blame onto them, making them doubt their perception of events and second guess themselves. Typically the gaslighter is either trying to avoid taking responsibility for something and they want someone else to take responsibility, or they are trying to gain control over someone because they have an agenda.

So basically, gaslighting is about flipping, attacking, confusing and blaming, gaining power over another, and trying to get someone else to take responsibility for their bad behaviour. But lying doesn’t involve flipping, attacking or blaming and the liar isn’t trying to get someone else to take responsibility for their behaviour, they are merely hiding information for personal reasons.

Inside the context of BG3

Honestly, nothing of this is happening with Gale, not even with Wyll and his denial about the sending stone. Gale and Wyll are hiding personal information, but without any interest to control Tav. In fact, the one holding power is Tav: the leader of the group that no companion questions. It's clear for any player that Tav has so much power over the group that they can kill any of the companions without consequences.

Unlike an average gaslighter, Gale is well aware that his dire situation is the product of his own mistakes; the folly of his young self who believed that Mystra's love would last forever. We also learnt in the Loss scene that he deeply regrets this situation and during the Revelation scene he makes it clear over and over again that the only one to blame is “the silly wizard who did not accept a no from a goddess”, while being quite oblivious of the power imbalance his young self was in (here is where the grooming interpretation comes. Read Part 1 for details). Gale never disrespected Tav's opinions, confusing them or dismissing them. Gale can agree or disagree with Tav, and be very clear about it, but like an expected scholar, his disagreements are done with sensible touch and respecting Tav's individuality. In the only moment where Gale is aggressive due to dissidence is during the conversation after the goblin party or in his final scene before leaving the party when he is very low approval. But it's more than understandable since Tav forced him to be part of evil acts he did not want to participate in (after all, he is a good-aligned character, as Sven said it in PAX).

Even Wyll, lying straight to Tav's face about his stone eye, is not even gaslighting. Gaslighting is about power, control, and submission of the other. I would really like the fandom to learn the context of the words they use.

Hypothesis: Gale is a narcissist

Concept

Another word that fandom can't grasp and misuses so lightly. The difference between a narcissist and a cocky person or a high self-esteem person is big.

A narcissist is not just someone who loves themselves in excess and has a big ego. A narcissist is a person that has very specific character traits, the three main are: having a sense of entitlement, being exploitative, and being empathy impaired, or having a complete lack of empathy for others.

Sense of entitlement: A narcissist views themselves as superior and special and better than everyone else, so they think they should be treated that way. They have delusions of grandeur and a sense of omnipotence and grandiosity that makes them feel entitled to have whatever they want.

They see their needs and desires as a priority and more important than anyone else’s; they are ruthless in getting them fulfilled. They crave admiration and adoration and will demand attention, but they will not give anything in return. They’ll punish others if they don’t get what they want. They don’t care about the consequences because they don’t believe consequences apply to them, since they think they are above reproach.

Being exploitative: Because of their sense of entitlement, the narcissist needs to exploit and use others to get what they want. Exploitative behaviour includes: intimidation, manipulation, control, plotting, conspiring, strategising, teasing, bullying, threats, being aggressive and passive-aggressive. They take advantage and treat people unfairly . They do only what is best for themselves in order to achieve their own goals. Due to their lack of conscience they will not feel any remorse or concern for the person they use and exploit. Instead they will just feel excitement and pleasure at having gained what they believe is rightfully theirs.

Lack of empathy: Empathy is the ability to put oneself in someone else’s shoes, and imagine what they are feeling, understanding those feelings. Narcissists lack this ability, so they do not concern themselves with other people's feelings, showing little compassion for others. This lack of empathy means they have no problem taking advantage of people or hurting them when they exploit or degrade them for their own means, and they have no conscience or awareness about the pain they cause in others. This is the reason why they can't offer comfort or reassurance. Another big sign that someone might be a narcissist is if they have trouble being told ‘No’. Narcissists lack boundaries and they don’t care about other people’s boundaries, so trying to set a boundary simply by saying no to them, may provoke a very strong reaction in them.

So, the difference between a narcissist and a cocky or high self-esteem person are clear:

A person with high self-esteem greatly respects themselves. Self-esteem is confidence in one’s ability to think, make choices, and act on those choices, as well as feeling deserving of happiness and benefiting from one’s hard work and accomplishments. Above all, it means valuing the facts of reality and reason to guide one’s life. A lapse in knowledge or a mistake won't threaten their self-esteem. In fact, they embrace facts, whether those facts come from themselves or someone else, because they know that knowledge will help them in their life.

People with high-self esteem rarely (if ever) evade facts or rational advice because they know reality is their survival tool and means of achieving and maintaining happiness. They may be cocky at times, but they have tact and empathy to understand their own mistakes and the effect that they may cause on others, accepting the blame.

Narcissism is the opposite of self-esteem. Narcissists act as if they know everything, and anything that contradicts what they believe is either evaded or rejected out of hand. They’re not interested in facts that contradict what they feel or want to be true. They feel they must be right all the time. Their charm and show-off is usually aimed to belittle people. They always want to remain blameless.

Inside the context of BG3

Gale is certainly confident in his knowledge and he is proud of what he does; he spent many years learning under many tutors; his skills are a product of hard effort and a privileged education (wizard education).

Gale: I'm a wizard of considerable acclaim, and scholar of exceptional accomplishment.

Lae'zel: You strike me as cleverer than most istiki, Gale. Multiple tutors I should guess. Gale: Many a wise man and woman, indeed. Waterdeep is the home of myriads of scholars.

Gale: Benefits of a wizard's education, you see. Of course my considerable talent didn't hurt either. Well... That depends on who you ask, I suppose. I may have summoned things rather more exotic than a winged cat.

This is not mere fake, because the scene of Ceremorphosis shows that Gale has a deep understanding of the process, compared to the knowledge that any githyanki has (Lae'zel or githyanki Tav). What Gale continues stating are facts:

Tav: And what makes you the expert? Gale: Study.

He is far from being the typical obnoxious scholar who enjoys making people feel small and inferior. Unlike the archetype, Gale doesn't enjoy mocking Tav's ignorance, on the contrary, the excess of explanation can be seen as a typical vice of a teacher (which is confirmed after the Weave: Gale has been a teacher for some students even though his patience was thin). But in the same way Gale states the fact that he knows a lot, he is also well aware of his limitations, and he doesn't hide that fact: during the scene of ceremorphosis, he acknowledges that his “knowledge fails him” when he tries to understand the anomalies they are experiencing.

During the Weave scene, he acknowledges the obvious:

Tav: You’re a good teacher. Gale: I Know.

Annoying? yes, but true. After all, the game allowed a non-wizard Tav to channel the Weave, a unique experience for non-magical users. They are casting the Weave for the first time thanks to Gale's good instructions (and some luck with the dice).

Another situation can be seen during the scene of the consumption of the artefacts.

Tav: Thanks don't get me that artefact back Gale: I myself am a much more powerful artefact in your arsenal. Rest assured of that.

His comment may be cocky, but it once more displays a fact: a functional wizard (with many spell slots) is more valuable than the power that those artefacts give to Tav (usually one spell alone). It’s also worth noting that none of his show-off comments tries to dismiss or belittle Tav.

Because of his habit of over-explaining, Gale tends to be considered a mansplainer. I would see it that way if his excessive explanations would only happen with female Tavs. But the truth is that he is explaining too much to anyone, even to fellow wizards that may know all that stuff already. After all, it makes sense: he has the [sage] tag; he read all his life, he knows a big amount of things, and he was a teacher: a terrible combination that justifies a character with a tendency to over-explaining.

But Gale is not even that cocky, in my opinion. Many of his scenes have a level of teasing that implies more a hidden joke than high self-esteem. This is a pattern that can be seen in several opportunities: Gale uses this fake cockiness to put some levity in the moment, showing his joking intentions by context or explicitly with words:

The scene of Ceremorphosis starts with him observing his own reflection. When Tav asks him what he is doing, Gale answers: “Indulging in a spot of vanity. Handsome devil, aren't I?”. He deflected the raw context of the answer with teasing. He was not indulging into vanity, what he was truly doing was to observe any change in his physiognomy, and he attempted to levity by teasing. This is explicit later, when the topic of the conversation focuses on the changes that ceremorphosis causes. Even the handsome devil comment has teasing implications: according to some idiom dictionaries, the expression handsome devil “it's usually used playfully or flirtatiously”. Again, a teasing.

During the Stew scene, Gale puts some levity before introducing the dramatic conversation about the artefacts he needs:

Gale: Curious time to be dieting. Especially with a chef like myself around.

When meeting the Myconid, Gale will talk with fascination about the ability of this species to raise the dead through spores.

Tav: Sorry, but I don't share your fascination for fungi. Gale: Nobody's perfect.

Tav can be a bit dismissive with his response, to which Gale will reply with one of his typical teasing/jokes, implying the ridiculous idea that a perfect person should always be interested in fungi. It’s a joke.

Another attempt to levity despite fearing to turn into mind flayers that night:

Gale: More blood. That's a pretty sight. Give it to me straight, how do I look? Tav: Like your handsome self, Gale. Gale: Thanks, that's what I thought.

During the Loss scene, in the romantic path of “more than friends”, we have this silly, teasing/cockiness which lacks belittling intentions. He is just playful. That can be seen because he doesn't let the situation last more than a moment, immediately calling himself “insufferable”. A narcissist, under no circumstance, would call himself as such.

Tav: When I said we could be more than friends, you answered “perhaps”. What does that really mean? Gale: If I recall correctly, the Waterdhavian Dictionary of the Common Tongue of Faerûn defines it as an adverb that conveys the meaning of “It may be that”, or “possibly”. Sorry, sometimes I just can't help being quite insufferable. In seriousness, I'm glad you asked that question. [...]

When the joke/teasing finishes, his words change immediately returning to the “serious” note of the conversation, doing it explicitly: “In seriousness”. Meaning he was joking a moment ago. He is painfully explicit.

The same exact teasing/joke happens during the scene of the consumption of artefacts:

Tav: Let's hope this was the last artefact I had to part with. Gale: Come, come, these are mere fabled objects of great to enormous value. My continued presence though – quite priceless! On a more serious note, I do not wish to give you false hope. We're only treating the symptoms, not the cause. [...]

After the teasing, Gale explicitly says “talking on a more serious note”, meaning, the previous moment was a joke. Again.

Another example of teasing/cocky joke:

Wyll: Between the orb and the bug you've got more than your fair share of unwelcome passengers. Gale: What can I say. Mother always taught me to be a gracious host.

Gale claims to be a gracious host, but the context surrounding this... just makes it into a joke. This is why I insist so much in the Context.

This happens during the “Revelation” scene too, when it's Tav who attempts to use this teasing to relax the tense situation with a joke:

Tav: When you put it like that – no one can say no to me. Gale: After all, even I am only human. (Gale Approves)

It's painfully obvious they tease one another. After all the conversation of Mystra and the orb, some Tavs may want to opt for this option to answer Gale, and he even would approve this attempt of levity, because it's the same exact, silly thing he does as a pattern. He also approves it because he likes confidence. Again, I will repeat myself, but it's clear that Gale is char with high self-esteem, and likes people with that same trait. We know this because during the party when Tav accepts his out-of-nowhere “thank you”. Gale immediately says: “There's that confidence I like”.

During the scene after the party, we have some extra silly, cocky moments that could be the result of wine in Gale's system, or the messiness of the scene itself, since it’s so unpolished:

Tav: I think that sounds delightful Gale: That's because I'm full of delights

Tav: You’re a good kisser. Gale: I’m of the opinion one should try to excel at everything.

Tav: Thank you for a wonderful night. Gale: Like I said; I try to excel at everything.

I would like to highlight this line because the way it's said shows a level of confidence that is not related to an excess of ego, but to a high self-esteem behaviour: he says “try”. Meaning, he knows he may fail. His past is proof that he can try to excel at things that he would never be able to manage, and unlike a narcissist, he acknowledges his limitations once more.

Another interesting exchange is after that night:

Gale: A night to remember. It was wonderful, wasn't it? Tav: Oh, I've had better. Gale: I had a goddess, but you don't hear me complaining. [After apology] Tav: We should do it again sometime. Gale: We absolutely should, after all I need to undone the misconception that you had better.

Tav can question Gale's performance, and after repaying that rudeness with his comment on the Goddess, (again, Gale is a character that will pay you with the same coin [18]) he accepts the criticism and promises—with a teasing—to do it better. Again, an impossible gesture in a narcissist.

But not only in these teasing/joking situations we see his high self-esteem: in bitter or aggressive reactions, we see he uses it to enrage his rude/violent interlocutor:

During the Weave scene:

Gale: What did I think about seeing my head on a spike? That I still looked as handsome as ever, that's what.

Gale is hurt of being depicted beheaded (we know he fears death, the scene with Nettie shows it). His answer is, of course, rude after such a gore image projected in his mind. But instead of resorting to plain aggression, he pretends that it did not have the effect that Tav wanted to cause. To do so, he shows off.

The scene of Mirkon displays both styles of teasing: Gale started using his teasing/cocky attitude with a clear intention of sharing something personal with Tav, who has just done an action that it's important for Gale (saving children/youngsters of their own mistakes [5, 12b], a concept that echoes in Gale's background).

Gale: Benefits of a wizard's education, you see. Of course my considerable talent didn't hurt either. Well... That depends on who you ask, I suppose.

Tav can ignore this silly cockiness and engage in what Gale wants to share, leaving the moment at that. But if Tav opts for a rude comment, Gale will answer with a degree of rudeness too, using a condescending tone (but it’s very light if we compare it with the level of aggressive condescending he displays with an evil Tav). We need to remember that Gale is a char who follows the philosophy of giving people their own medicine [18]. That's what he does:

Tav: Considerable talent. Are you always this full of yourself? Gale: Only when the occasion suits. That's mostly a synonym for 'yes', by the by. Anyway--

Gale is a very confident character, but his high self-esteem is not that broad. It is limited to his knowledge and appearance, but never to relationships. Exactly it's there where he becomes less confident and when his emotions and abandonment issues conflict with his good sense.

Don't get me wrong, Gale's ego is there, I'm not denying it. But like everything in this fandom, some groups tend to over-magnify what the game gives in EA. Gale has a very well founded self-esteem in academic and researching fields: he has been a prodigy of the Weave from a young age (probably very close to a Weavemaster, skill referred in the novel Dead Masks), and a remarkable scholar with artistic attitudes in poetry. He worked hard for years to amass all that knowledge (he has a [sage] tag for a reason) and then he became, briefly, a Chosen one (not a small feat) which catapulted him to an status of archwizard. He could be so immensely obnoxious, aggressive, and dismissive as Fane is in DOS2. Still, Gale remains in a low level of a playful ego that only surfaces when the situation requires a teasing/levity or when it is a bitter tool against an aggressive and rude Tav. Considering him a narcissist is to over-magnify this trait out of the chart. He is a lore-content character; that character that in many rpg games will accompany us while explaining the context of the fantasy world we are playing in; therefore it is natural and obvious that he will over explain like no other companion so far.

Of course, all this is EA and may change by the time the game is released. But so far we should analyse what has been given to us.

I personally don't like this trait of his, but I think it's part of his many flaws. After all, he is the embodiment and the concept "humans are fallible", and he is very aware of that every time he speaks in seriousness.

Hypothesis: Gale is a manipulator

Concept

I suggest reading the post about "Context, persuasion, and manipulation" for the definition and understanding of the concept.

Inside the context of BG3

On this aspect, I won't repeat myself, and I will recommend to read the series of posts I've done about "Gale: Manipulation, Lies, and Trust" which explains in detail the Stew Scene, the Loss Scene, the Party Scene and extra scenes (death protocol and dreams). This series focuses exactly on the degree of truth and lies that Gale shares with different Tavs (depending on their choices). As a broad conclusion I can say that Gale is not a manipulator as a main trait in his personality, and may (or not) withhold information if romanced (depending on Tav’s choices).

He is not even a liar, since he has always made clear his boundaries and never denied to have secrets. Earning his trust to open up takes its time and good actions, and only in a romantic path there is a more messy approach: the scene pretends to create a “great betrayal”, when there is little since all the information concerning the “orb” has been given in broad strokes previously. The information that Gale has been withholding was personal and private but said in a bad timing making it of poor taste. The whole scene is very unpolished, not reacting to the amount of information that Tav can have from previous scenes. It presents two apparent conflicts:

The “orb”, which danger has been stated since the first moment we met Gale, and it was reinforced in most scenes; so there is not a great revelation in it by the end of EA.

The other conflict is apparently Gale's past lover: Mystra. Which can be surprising for a Tav, but not so much for a player who knows the lore background. In any case, the scene offers poor options to react to all this: or it ignores all the information that Tav can know by that time (information given by Gale himself), or gives over-reactive options, pretending that Mystra and the Orb are informations that never were informed in the game.

So far in EA we see that Gale could withhold personal information not because he wants to have power over Tav, but as a consequence of his visceral fear for a second abandonment. Gale suffers from abandonment issues that make him prone to making bad decisions when confronted with that situation.

As I said before, for a real and detailed analysis read the post "Gale: Manipulation, Lies, and Trust", which is summary of the posts

'Stew' Scene (extensive)

Loss Scene ( extensive )

Party Scene ( extensive )

Extra Scenes: death protocol and comments on dreams

Hypothesis: Gale makes you "cheat" your LI

I won't repeat myself so I recommend to read the post Gale proposes you to 'cheat' "

Hypothesis: Gale still loves Mystra

I recommend reading the post Does Gale love Mystra?.

Hypothesis: Gale has no Tadpole

I recommend to read the post of "The Tadpole"

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Sources for both parts:

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ( 5V)

Some concepts were summarised from: https://melcrowecounsellor.com www.d2l.org/child-grooming-signs-behavior-awareness/

This post was written in June 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index

#bg3 meta #gale #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale

17 notes · View notes