#MF TRIED TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK IN PHYSICS
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LITTLE LADY.
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Black coded!Karasuno manager headcannons
Warnings: cursing, reader flirting with every fine man because she can, chaotic karasuno, karasuno being readers found family, fem reader, miss reader is poly and ain’t afraid to show it, some sappy feelings, probably spelled people names wrong
It’s chaotic with the mfs all they do it scream, shout eat and play volleyball
You did those things to but they’re more annoying
Tanaka and nishi always finds new ways to make you know your the goddess you are
The first years are intimidated by you even tuskki (it depends on the day)
the third years love you ur probably there favorite underclassmen
kiyoko and you are close like knit tight she loves all that you do for the team and it makes her job a little easier she know that when she leaves the boys will be in good hands
Okay anyways you’ve always known you were that girl like your a pretty black girl in japan who wouldn’t want you
While everyone in karasuno agreed with you so do other schools
which is why tanaka and nishinoya are on guard duty half the time
so guy tries to come ask you for your number *cough* Terushima *cough* they will and i repeat they will start barking at bitches screaming at the top of there lungs “NO WAY IN HELL YOU CAN HAVE OUR MANAGER SHES OURS” it pisses you off to every end especially if there fine (which is all because all hainaut boys are gorgeous)
they hate when you are flirting with the other teams at camps *cough* Bokuto and Akaashi* “Bokuto your spikes are so good you have to teach me” while giving him heart eyes which the boy is eating up because a pretty girl flirting with him and complementing his skill SOLD
you couldn’t forget about the pretty boy setter for Fukurōdani you would always tell him “Akaashi its great that you look out for bokuto like that” he would get the hints but didn’t act on them and you were a patient women you could wait “you and i should hang out i wanna get to know you more” you weren’t lying at all…
Now the boys were fumming you would give them water instead of your own team YOUR THE CLUB YOU SIGNED UP FOR they were but hurt except for suga he knew you had to claim them because you had told him that older men just hit different
anyways when yachi had joined you had welcomed her with open arms as always our girl yachi was scared out of her pants your were intimidating you had a resting bitch face and it scared her to be honest but when she saw you smile she got scared about how pretty you were (i cannon yachi is Bi you can’t change my mind)
You loved enoshita he may have been on the quieter side but he was a good friend when you really needed him you had majority of classes with him so of course you guys had a tight knit he’s the reason why you joined the club
hinata and kageyama you loved them but they were actually kinda stupid all they would do it scream ans yell at each other they were like your children when ever you would confront them about there behavior they would come up with so many excuses “Y/n BUT KAGEYAMA WHAT BEING ANNOYING” “I WAS NOT YOU SHITHEAD” rubbing your temples as they continued to argue “if you don’t shut up i will never bury you food again” They shut there asses right up after that (rich y/n?!?)
your third years were your favorites asahi, dachi, suga, and kiyoko we’re like your parents they always made sure that you were eating correctly, had enough money, and that your mental/physical health was good you are their favorite and nothing can change there mind they do get upset when you go after people there age they know it’s not a big difference but they just wanna make sure your safe
Dacahi almost had an heart attack when you told him when Shiratorizawa match was about to start that you wanted him to put you on with ushijima and tendou (he did only because they asked about you)
yams was a angel sent from heaven he was so kind you loved playing with his hair it was so soft and fluffy and it was like a stress reliever you were trying to set him up with tsukki he’s not slick i know damn well he has a crush on him and vise versa tsukki was a piece of work you always had a response for his snarky ass mouth
tanaka, *sigh* tanaka hairs dog number 1 has never and never disrespected you once he knows if he did that you would twist his ass inside out but in all seriousness he loves you it can be romantic or platonic but he would die for you defend you against any creep or someone that makes you feel not worthy he’s your hype man he’s one of your best friends you love this hot sister too he hates when you bring it up tho
Nishinoya guard dog number 2 he’s short ass hell and clings to you like a dog he has been on thin ice when he’s trying to flirt with you but he knows his boundaries he always wants to show you new tricks he comes up with but mostly rolling thunder
COACH UKAI not gonna lie you thought this man was one of the hottest men alive and you weren’t wrong he was honestly surprised when there was 3 manager but he didn’t care more help he secretly liked you the most he lets you have free meat buns and sometimes stuff from the shop but he makes you swear not to tell anyone
Takeda he made you so happy he was like your sweet older brother he always grateful that you love it with the club you always try to bring kk spare money because you know how hard he believes in the the boy and would do anything for them
in conclusion you love your “job” and the boys love you you wouldn’t know what to do without them
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I saw that your requests were open so I was wondering if you could do Asahi x reader? Maybe relationship headcannons? You can have creative liberty with everything else though.
Thank you ^^
ofc Anon, happy to help ya out! This is my first time writing for Asahi, but honestly it should be pretty easy, because I’m an asahi Kinnie. Love y’all sm, if you liked this, make sure to like, follow, and if you curios, just ask
warnings: Swearing, crack, fluff? Mentions of vagina? Has one section implying a AFAB reader, but is only one paragraph. If you aren’t a pussy owner, pretend it’s a papercut it literally the same results. I tried to make it as gender neutral as possible.
status: edited, but at like 3am so read at your own risk
💜Asahi Azumane💜
💜Boyfriend Headcannons💜
First things first, Man is so freaking shy. Like goodness, he wouldn’t be able to talk to you when he has a crush on you. So, if you want results, you have to A) Be confident, and B) be in a place he’s comfortable interacting in. Like at volleyball practice (Gia- Joden shut your ass up, your AsaNoya is showing.) So, for this let’s just imagine you’re a second year, helping Kiyoko manage the team. Yeah that sounds a lil familiar but shhhhhhhhh, let me have this.
Once we get over the hurdle of him actually asking you out (AKA Tanaka bullying him into doing with some, if you don’t do it, I will,) Be gotta be the biggest sweetie ever. Like I’m used to writing for assholes, but I physically cannot with this man, this pure sweet chipotle bowl of a man. The most shit I can say is that he’s a pussy.
Please. For the love of God (Gia- You called?) Play with his hair. He will literally melt like butter into a blushy slushy mess it’s so freaking adorable.
The literal epitome of pit bull energy. Like so freaking terrifying on the outside but inside? Literally the softest thing since Japanese pancakes. And because of this, mfs be terrified to talk to you. Like even if he’s so polite, things don’t change. What he says- “Hi, I’m sure you didn’t know, but that’s my partner , and it looks like you’re making them very uncomfortable, could you please leave them alone.? Thank you! 🌸☺️🌸” What people hear- “Aye yo, what ya doing with my girl buddy? You tryna start something, I’ll fucking kick your ass *insert Tanaka face*”. Yeah, it’s a common occurrence for people to tell you to blink twice if you need help.
Even though he’s canonically not planning on going to college, he’s still above average in school work. Not really in terms of analysis and problem solving, so his best subjects are stuff he can just memorize like science or History. If you happen to be weak in either of those, he would be more than happy to help after practice or during weekends. He’s super patient with you and often suggests snack breaks and other things whenever it gets to much. (Because of that he’s also really good at helping you through panic attacks, more on that if I do a part 2.)
In terms of cringe, the cringiest thing y’all do would be like seriously basic couples costumes. And I ain’t talking joker and Harley Quinn type bs (that fr can be cute sometimes,) I’m talking moth and lamp type shit. I know it’s probably adorable to some of yall but it gives me the serious ick.
Speaking of the Ick, man uses the most horrendous nicknames unironocally. He doesn’t do it all the time (especially after Tanaka nearly pissed himself after hearing him trying to be tender.) like I can just hear him saying, “Hey muffin, can you grab my bag from the club room? I have to help clean up.” (Gia- joden ewwwwww stop it that’s literally so gross.)
reads you the Bible
Yall know that one comic where it’s like killer croc and his girlfriend walking around and she tells him how much she loves him and how safe he makes her feel? Yeah that’s literally yall and it’s so precious. Like just imagine walking anywhere and everywhere holding pinkies (my gay lol heart is melting) while he’s just being a blushy mess.
Noya is the main wingman, but still doesn’t know on how how you got together. His idea of friendly advice is, “QUICK BEING W PUSS AND ASK THEM OUT LIKE A MAN ASAHI😤.”
Regardless of if you are a titty owner or not, please don’t take your shirt off around him, he will literally malfunction.He will literally have an aneurysm. Like mans nosebleeds will rock him like a rocket. Like man will be in the morgue from blood loss. And we still need this man for cuddles, so no. Kill the spike not your boyfriend, can i get an amen 🙏?
He is the most precious fluffy boyfriend possible. Like he’s the sweetest of all beans. Like you could ask him to murder someone and he’lll just be like, “Yes Sweetie anything you say dear 🌸🥰🌸.” Kinda like Gojo in that one jjk scene (the I’ll murder you one)
he loves restaurant dates, but like don’t take him anywhere who only has spicy food. I love this man with all my might, but he is a serious pussy. Like my goodness has the gracious. And he won’t even say anything about it. My poor baby will just suffer in silence. So please don’t, he’s a poor baby.
This one’s for all my long hair honeys. One word. Hairties. Hairties Galore. He never has enough. And he always has them at the ready. But on the unlikely chance he doesn’t, he has no problem using your scrunchies during a game, and it’s seriously the softest marshmallow man move ever. I can not emphasize it enough.
ok this man if the favorite of all of his younger cousins. Like the little dudes love just climbing on them. He physically cannot say no to them. So, what’s something they force him to do? Watch Disney princess movies with them. He knows all their names trust. His top three definitely Jasmine, Belle and Cinderella, trust me on this.(Gia- fuck sukuna, Asahi x Cinderella for life lol) He gives the most insane Disney adult energy it’s insane. (Gia- joden, chill with the slander mate).
He is a living random fact generator. No I will not elaborate. He watches that kind of YouTube shorts. He’s so boring I swear to fuck.
(I had to Make Gia write this lol) This one is for all my pussy people. He gotta be the most worried individual on this side of the nuthouse whenever you’re bleeding. Like the second he hears your on the cycle it’s, “OMG ARE YOU OK, ARE YOU DYING? OMG MY GIRLFRIENDS DYING, HELP WE NEED TO GET YOU TO THE DOCTORS! PLEASE DONT DIE ON ME BABY! DO YOU NEED PADS, HEATING PADS, IBUPROFEN, CHOCOLATE!?ILL GET YOU THAT, THE VERY BEST BEST QUALITY-” please shut him tf up. He’s gonna have a panic attack, please calm him down,
for us non pussy personas, just imagine you got a paper-cut. He literally acts the same way.
For my final big thing, ima just give ya’ll little addicts exactly what yall came here for: Crack. (Also yes a changed some lyrics, I ain’t about to whitewash no characters)
Tanaka- EVERYBODY SAY SAUSAGE KEEP IT GOING, EGGS BACON GRITS
all- Sausage!
Noya- IMA SKINNY BITCH BUT I STILL TAKE
all- Sausage!
Bokuto- GOT A FAT ASS BUT I STILL TAKE
all- Sausage!
Oikawa- GOT A FLAT ASS BUT I STILL TAKE
all- Sausage!
Y/N- WAKE UP IN THE MORNING GOTTA EAT THAT-
all- Sausage!
Hinata- IMA RED HEAD BUT I STILL TAKE
all- Sausage!
*Literally everyone is gay in this show so I’m not including this verse*
Yachi- CUTE GIRL SWAG BUT ILL TAKE YOUR MANS
all- Sausage!
Asahi- hagsaggecgedhurdgiitg
all- Sausage!
Saiko- Big tits, and I’m thick so you know I take
all- Sausage!
Kuroo- Yeah I read but but they’re all about
All- Sausage! Sa-Sa-Sa-Sausage, Sausage
kiyoko- I like girls, can I still take sausage?
All- AYEEEEEEE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bro I ain’t gon lie, I had so much fun writing this, but I’m sorry I took so long Anon, I love all of yall so much, but I also am smack in the middle of exam season, and you’re boy needs his degree. If y’all love this, then feel free to ask for more, it’s free, and like and follow me. Love y’all lil freaks,
Joden (edited by Gia)
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu headcanons#Asahi#asahi azumane#Asahi fluff#asahi x reader#jesus#kurasuno#Kurasuno x reader#Kurasuno fluff#asahi azumane x reader#Ask me anything#trending#reqs open
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Dominic Foreman-McGuire.
she/her.
– Puerto rican, adopted in San Juan.
– Gemini.
– Personal trainer.
if charisma was a person.
leader of the “buff women” club.
fuck the man and the bear. choose Dominic, she can protect you from both.
looks tough and stoic but she’s SWEET, and she has the softest heart. <3
plays video games when she’s free. She will destroy anybody in fps games.
very deep sleep. She’s always running around, being active during the day, but once she’s asleep– you can try anything you want, this woman will NOT wake up unless the house is on fire.
super cuddly in her sleep; definitely the type to hug you and circle your waist unconsciously.
insanely good stamina. ;)
has a very warm laugh; the kind that makes you feel safe and content and makes you smile, no matter your mood.
has the sickest playlists.
curses in spanish when she’s mad, frustrated or scared.
5’11 strong lady!
loves long late night drives.
goes for a run every morning before going to work.
has two dogs, the loves of her life : Thelma and Amir.
absolutely loves to party and go to clubs with her siblings.
initially followed her parents’ will and didn’t really question the “system” until Liz did it. It inspired her a lot. Dominic used to be close to her parents; definitely their “proud, responsible oldest child”, but they’re more distant now. Their relationship is still kind of awkward.
takes cooking lessons with Oliver from time to time; always wanted to be good in the kitchen.
her love languages are gift giving and physical touch.
LOVES gentle touches. (brushing her knuckles against your cheek, your hands, pushing strands of hair behind your ears, placing a hand on the small of your back when you’re walking side to side. . .)
scared of bugs.
always wearing rings.
a big fan of horror movies.
a HUGE tease. Teasing her siblings, teasing you… i guess it’s part of her love language too. :)
owns like three different cars and motorcycles.
doesn’t play around with safety. (as she should!)
“Nah, nah, nah, sweetheart. If you don’t put this helmet on, you don’t. get. on my bike.”
suave, romantic mf. The type to organize romantic dinner dates with candles and your favorite meal.
bottling up her emotions quite a lot; tries to change it and learn how to talk about her feelings without fearing being judged or deemed unlovable.
used to not be close to her siblings because she’s the type to keep to herself. She only started forging strong links with her siblings when she distanced herself from her parents.
very rational and collected. If you have a problem; call her to find a solution or just to calm yourself down, honestly–
the most responsible and reliable one of the family, for sure. not the type to run away from her responsibilities.
can pick you up bridal style like you weigh nothing, so if you’re into that….. beware. She’ll attack you from behind and you’ll be in the air before you can even realize it–
gets jealous, sometimes. She won’t say a thing because she’s scared to annoy you, but you can tell because she gets more touchy-feely. Grabbing your hands, your waist, holding you close…
loves going to the arcade. (She’ll flash you the brightest, fondest smile if you say you want to come along.)
big fan of anime! Her favorite is One Punch Man. (wants to fight Saitama soooo bad.)
“No but look, look, look… If I tackle him like that, and punch him with just the right amount of strength, I’m sure I could, like–“
takes pictures of everything because everything looks cool, according to her. She looooves taking pictures of you– looks at you like you’re the moon and stars.
“You look… anw, sweetheart, there’s no words to describe you. Let me show you how I feel, hm ?”
will make you her passenger princess. you have no choice.
quite literally treats you like royalty. You’re her goddamn jewel.
goes hard at the gym when she’s pissed off. Some business going south ? she’ll go boxing. A fight within the family ? she’ll bully a treadmill.
sends you random gym pictures in the middle of the day; caption “;)”.
plays poker. and she’s reaaaaally good at it; her natural resting b face comes in handy.
knows a LOT about alcohol, always buys the finest bottles and shares a drink with Liz (fellow wine enjoyer!) whenever she can.
not scared of eye contact; definitely will stare into anyone’s soul without batting an eye. ….especially yours. loves to startle you by just eye-devouring you when you talk; she loves the expressions you make when you're flustered.
addicted to iced coffee.
obsessed with cleaning. a clean FREAK. (her house and vehicles are always shiny.)
big big big fan of R&B.
veiny handdddssss! ! !
“I wanted to be strong for my family, yet I was pushing them away… Now, it’s like I’m meeting each of my siblings one by one for the first time, and learn to let them love me. And it might be stupid but, feeling so vulnerable… makes me the strongest I could've ever dreamed to be.”
#oc headcanons#oc hcs#oc stuff#oc x reader#oc x y/n#oc x you#female original character#female oc#gn reader#oc#original character
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HIII sorry to bother but can you do
Bonten with ganyu! Reader? :)
[ note ] i actually did this one before on my old account so im excited to write it again 😈 i ended up not including mochi bcs i srsly dont know anything abt that dude 😕
ganyu!reader + bonten
[ warning(s) ] idk u have a vision, tr manga spoilers
s. manjiro
• loves touching ur horns, even if u tell him not to (1)
• thinks it’s adorable whenever you’d end up randomly taking a nap no matter where you are.
• ok! i feel like cryo vision users have a natural cold body temperature (unless its chongyun), so he loves snuggling close to you whenever it’s hot
• definitely tries everything to not get you involved im bontem activities, he doesn’t want you to be in danger (even though you have a vision)
• you’re also a very busy person, but he doesn’t really complain / get mad (because he’s busy himself!)
• but at some point, he’d be dragging you out of work and immediately forces you to rest LMAO
a. takeomi
• one of the few who’ll actually refrain himself from touching the horns
• thinks its adorable tho lol def tried touching it first time you met
• I FEEL LIKE HE’S THE TYPE TO ACTUALLY TUCK YOU IN BED WHENEVER YOU’D RANDOMLY FALL ASLEEP
• doesn’t really like it when you overwork yourself :( he loves you too much
• also spoils u alot bcs i said so have u seen how senju gets that coin..
• takeomi doesn’t let anyone near you at all. especially sanzu and ran
s. haruchiyo
• LITERALLY HAS NO SHAME LMFAO
• “does touching your horns make you go sensitive or something…”
• “haruchiyo, they literally have the same texture and substance as fingernails..”
• definitely steals your bow AND your vision just to give you a mild heart attack
• “have you seen my bow?”
• “no, you probably just lost it lol”
• literally gets so annoyed if you end up accidentally taking a nap, but he finds it adorable
h. rindou
• you cannot tell me this man wouldn’t be a sneaky mf
• WILL touch your horns, pet you and literally baby you to the point you don’t even know if your boyfriend is an imposter or not
• when you’re taking a nap, he’ll touch it. no exceptions.
• ok ik he’s a criminal but he’d respect your preferences alot, and wouldn’t force you to stop your diet.
• loves it when your great friends tell stories about your youth, and will definitely tease you about it lol
• “as a child, [y/n] wo—”
• “enough, please…” “no, no… keep going.”
• LITERALLY ADORES THE WAY YOU USE YOUR WEAPON LIKE HE’S SO DOWN BAD…
h. ran
• also has no shame, will touch your horns and ask questionable and concerning questions no matter what.
• HE LOVES ASKING ABOUT YOUR ADEPTUS FRIENDS
• doesn’t let anyone near you tho he hates it when the rest of bonten even interacts with you
• you usually fall asleep when you’re sitting on his lap (or forced you to because you’re overworking yourself again.)
• doesn’t get mad if you have to do overtime though, but will definitely tell you to take care of yourself!
• hc that ran knows how to cook
• he WILL cook for you, anything, vegetarian or not, he will learn how to cook it for you
• overall 10/10 a caring boyfriend even if he’s a literal member of a criminal organization 😍
h. kokonoi
• he’s pretty quiet, so your relationship doesn’t have much talking
• that doesn’t mean it’s unhealthy though, he just prefers physical affection
• will tuck you in when you accidentally take a nap in his office and deny it LOL
• “what do you mean? you sleep walked.”
• “i can’t sleep walk from your office back to the apartment, koko.”
• he loves hearing your voice occasionally, so he’d definitely ask you to tell him stories about your life serving under the god you worship.
#( — fuyuobsession )#tokyo revengers x reader#bonten x reader#kokonoi hajime#kokonoi x reader#akashi takeomi#takeomi x reader#rindou x reader#ran x reader#ran haitani#rindou haitani#mikey x reader#manjiro sano#sanzu x reader#sanzu haruchiyo
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um can I please get hawks and dabi with a shy male s/o who wears oversized hoodies that stops at his fingertips and gets flustered when he gets kisses or when they call him pretty (pretty boy, pretty baby, etc) please? [i also binged you masterlist but that’s a story for another time-]
HAHA ANOTHER HAWKS/DABI REQUEST COMIN RIIIIIIIGHT UP
——————
Headcannons - Hawks and dabi with a soft n’ shy bf
⚠️ warnings - none
Pronouns - he/him
——————
Hawks:
Mans thinks ur
So
So so
Cute
Like BRUH YOU TURNED THIS MAN INTO YOUR NO. 1 SIMP
he may be the no. 2 hero but he’s ur no. 1 simp <3
Teases you On The Daily
Sometimes he’s poking at ur cheeks or using you as his armrest (ofc he’s hovering above the air a bit-this short mf-)
Other times he’s gushing about how cute you are just to see you get all flustered
Sometimes you share the oversized hoodies he buys you
He buys them like 2 times bigger than you normally wear them just to see you look all small n comfy n fluffy in them
Sometimes he borrows them bc hey they’re comfy
There’s times he doesn’t realize he’s making you blush so much
He calls you pretty boy, baby, (Y/n)-bird, pretty much every cheesy thing he can think of and your just sitting there like
>////< !!!
“How’s my pretty boy doing..., my baby, my little (Y/n)-bird, my sweet birdie~?”
“P-please stop...we’re i-in public...”
This leads me to: pda
HE LOVES PDA
ESPECIALLY BECAUSE HE KNOWS HOW FLUSTERED AND EMBARRASSED YOU GET FROM HOLDING HIS HAND AS THE NO. 2 HERO
COCKY COCK-A-DOODLE DOO BITCH
One time you two were at a restaurant
You two usually get a private area to eat, but this man felt ballsy and decided to host your date in complete public domain
You two were sitting smack in the middle of a fancy restaurant
Since you usually wear oversized hoodies, or anything pretty loose that hides the shape of your body, Keigo was in heaven seeing that cute fitted tuxedo with a cute bow tied neatly around your neck
It was like his personal present heehee
“You’re so cute, (Y/n)-chan.”
You deadass choked on your drink
“W-wh-wh-!”
you could barely get words out between sputters and coughs
“What? M’ I not allowed to love my sweet, cute, shy handsome, very very pretty boyfriend?”
Bitch said it loud enough for nearby people to hear
Hearing people start to whisper about you made you shrink up in your seat a bit
He thought it was cute how you tried to hide your face in your drink
The next day there were articles like “Pro Hero Hawk’s sexuality?!” Or “No. 2 hero Hawks - comformed lover?”
Smh Hawks, don’t cause celebrity drama
You’ll give (Y/n) a heart attack </3
——————
Dabi:
you kinda peeved him at first
HEAR ME OUT OK DONT LEAVE-
You came to the League around the same time Dabi and Toga came
It was because you were being bullied at your workplace for being “soft” and “girly”
You just wanted a place you could be you and not have to conform to society
Wow heavy much
Dabi didn’t think you had the heart to be a villain
You tripped on stones and would wince from the heat of the tiniest fire dabi could make
And you expect him to respect you?
Literally would scoff when you’re around
But one day
One day
He scoffed and brushed against your shoulder
You had enough
“H-he-hey-!”
Dabi was lowkey kinda shocked, he didn’t hear your voice much outside of a gasp or “uugu-!” from if you trip on some random shit
“C-can you stop?! Wh-what have I-I e-ever done to..to you..!”
You activated your quirk, and even if you don’t have the most threatening quirk, you were sure you would think of a way to use it in case things got physical
And you were kind of proud of yourself for standing up to him
Dabi just looked down/up at you
You were trembling, and you could barely keep up at hardened glare of yours when you were scared out of your mind
How could he take you seriously when you were so..
So...
Cute?
He felt sort of powerful when he saw how shaky your fingers were through your sleeves
Or how your hair framed your glaring face, trying to hide how scared you were
“Hm? Did Mr. Shy boy say something?”
In a minute he had you pinned up again the wall with your hands pinned aboved your head
He held your arms up with one hand and tilted your chin up with the other
“Or would you prefer it if I called you my pretty, cute, handsome boy? Don’t think that glare of yours could hide how you’re always staring at me when you think I don’t see...undressing me with your eyes...though that harsh glare that you’re trying so hard to do is kind of cute...”
He had you a blushing mess and averting your eyes in seconds
Mans felt so powerful
He had so much control over you and it made him feel great
He honestly didn’t think much of you till this second, but hey
He’s just doin what he wants, and that’s what he wanted to do right now
“How’s about it? Wanna be my pretty boy?”
You didn’t have the courage to answer, and thank god shigaraki and toga walked in that second
Dabi released your hands, not bothering to get your answer as your knees buckled and you sank to the floor
But no worries
He’d get his answer soon.
——————
#bnha x male reader#bnha x reader#mha x male reader#mha x reader#dabi my hero academia#dabi x male reader#dabi#dabi headcanons#dabi x reader#dabi x y/n#dabihawks#touya todoroki#mha hawks#bnha hawks#hawks x male reader#hawks headcanons#my hero academia hawks#keigo x male reader#keigo takami#keigo headcanons#wing hero hawks
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Hey! Sorry to bother you with a second ask but i thought this one would be cool. Fluffy headcanons of the demon brothers watching scary movies with MC??? Somewhere MC gets scared, and some where they don't? Thanks again!! :)
It’s no bother!! I love getting requests from you guys! The more, the merrier. I sort of hc that the brothers and MC do have movie night every week or so and with them being demons, they tend to levitate towards the horror genre. Thank you for sending this, this is really cute :)))
Without further ado—-
————————————
The Brothers watching Scary movies with MC:
Lucifer:
-Haha mf already knows how this is going to end
-He warned you, he really did
-The horror movies DevilDom has to offer are nothing, and I mean nothing, like the ones from the human world
-I’m not going to go into detail but imagine Two Girls One Cup, in a less kinky and more gorey way (then times that by 10)
-But you were adamant into giving it a go and he literally could not deny you in that moment
-Because you were giving him the puppy eyes
-That’s like, the finishing blow you use every time to get your way with him and as far as you know it’s the only one that works so-
-He expected your reaction to the last second
-You were traumatised for lack of a better word and you were basically watching the whole film through the cracks between your fingers
-Seeing you in that state was like a punch in the gut but he couldn’t stop himself from throwing in a subtle ‘I told you so’
-“I told you watching something like this before bed is a bad idea, MC.”
-He might be a bit condescending and judgemental at first, but he’s probably going to baby you a bit for the rest of the night
-Because he feels bad he allowed you to watch it in the first place
-HAHAHAHA SOFT LUCIFER HAS BEEN SUMMONED, USE HIM WISELY
-He will start muttering words of comfort to you later because he’s certain you’re going to have trouble sleeping
-Because of that one time, he’s very hesitant to let you watch another horror film anytime soon
-But he will relent eventually (especially if you want to watch a human horror film as those are technically less extreme)
-If it makes you happy, he will go through with it, even if he has to let you cling onto him for the rest of the day
-Besides, the way you cuddle into him while you’re watching a horror film is very cute and endearing to him
Mammon:
-Ah yes, the most effective method of waking up the entire House of Lamentation at 3:00 am
-Mammon screaming his own vocal cords out in his room as he tries to get through his human’s favourite horror movie without dying of a heart attack
-It was his idea because he’s definitely the type to go: “Yeah let’s do this, it will be fun. Don’t get too scared alright MC? The Great Mammon will be here to protect ya.”
-And then ten minutes in, he’s basically in your lap
-Half an hour in, he turned himself into a demon burrito with his blankets
-You were enjoying the movie, laughing at the stupid sound effects and poor quality while Mammon next to you has wrapped himself in like two dozen blankets and pillows
-“Mammon you’re going to overheat.”
-“Don’t be silly human, I’m a demon who lives in hell. I can take high temperatures the same way I can take this damn movie!”
-He doesn’t take either of them well
-Mammon and the horror genre don’t mix well together to begin with
-So even if you might enjoy horror, he doesn’t react well to it at all
-And he’ll be low-key relieved if you tell him you guys don’t have to watch any sort of horror film for your date night
-“Well I guess if you don’t want to, then we don’t have to. Can’t make my human do something they’re uncomfortable with eh?”
-But if you do watch a scary movie with him, be sure to show any sort of physical affection to him as often as possible
-You don’t have to say anything, just hold his hand or let him put his head in your lap or something
-It might stop him from screeching like a female sloth in heat
-The last time that happened, his brothers weren’t too pleased with him
-They about to recreate the horror film scenes onto him, bring the popcorn have fun
Levi:
-For some reason, I feel like he doesn’t get scared easily while watching stuff
-I mean, after decades of obsessively watching animes with brutal character deaths (like Attack on Titan style) and grotesque horror games that are pretty nasty even to demons, let alone humans;
-A horror film, from the human world or even DevilDom, doesn’t do much for him
-It will have to have very good psychological horror in it if you want the hairs on his arms to stand up in anticipation
-Tension is a big deal for him and he will immediately shut off the TV if there are any cheap jump scares
-But, if you manage to find just the right thing for him?
-You’ll both be hiding under the bed in no time under the bathtub more like
-Hell, if the film you’re watching is that good, he might even be holding onto you for dear life without realising it and getting flustered about it
-For weeks afterwards, any sound that is remotely similar to one from that movie will probably send both of you into panic
-You came to his room one night because you’ve had a nightmare about the stupid film and legitimately thought there was a fucking demon serial killer in your room
-So you wanted to stay in his
-“But what if there is a serial killer in your room and now you just led it to me MC????”
-It’s all jokes, there’s no question he would lock both of you in his room and then stay there with you wide awake until dawn
-You’re his best friend after all, he would have to be completely heartless to leave you on your own! (Besides Levi is terrifying when he wants to be)
-One time you were sleeping over and the sound of fumbling woke you tf up
-And Levi immediately turned into his demon form, like he was ready to throw hands with this fictional murderer that supposedly sneaked into his room
-“DON’T WORRY MC, I’LL PROTECT YOU!”
-“Ah never mind, it’s just Mammon breaking into your room again to steal your Ruri-Cham figurines and sell them on Akuzon.”
-“Oh OK.”
-“.....”
-“WAIT MAMMON WTF YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG, GET OUT OF MY ROOM-“
-I’m playing Minecraft
Satan:
-Believe it or not, Satan doesn’t care much about horror movies
-Don’t get me wrong, he loves watching his brothers shit their pants out of fear in the middle of one while he silently smirks to himself because watching other people suffer brings him euphoria
-Especially if someone actually manages to find a film that is excellent enough to spook Lucifer, because then he will be cackLING
-But, overall, he watches a lot of shows revolved around drama and crime
-That’s his thing
-However, he won’t turn you down if you’re up to watching a scary movie with him
-Any time spent with you is valuable time seeing as it won’t be long before his brothers start hogging you again like the cockblockers they are
-He is honestly surprised to find out you seem to be rather amused by those sort of movies
-So, even if it’s not inherently something he does on the regular, he would definitely watch a scary film with you if you enjoy them that much
-But in exchange, he makes you promise to read with him until bedtime rolls around (imagine Lucifer having a fucking curfew for his brothers and you lmao)
-So for the rest of night you guys just read together, ya know, like sappy romantics
-Tbh, this man will do almost anything with you as long as both of you are having fun
-He knows it’s not likely, but he insists on sleeping in the same room that night just in case you have nightmares and he needs to comfort you
- :)
-Satan is a gentleman. Idk how many people that don’t play OM expected to hear this
Asmo:
-Why would you want to watch a movie when you could be watching him???
-I mean, you would rather watch all that gory stuff on the TV than his beautiful face?
-He may get salty over a fucking movie tbh
-Horror films aren’t something he generally looks for while trying to pick a movie to watch
-He can definitely handle them better than Mammon but it’s not something he takes great pleasure in watching
-But the first time he ever sits down with you to watch one, he’s very intrigued to see your reactions
-You started feeling the sensation of absolute dread creep in at the very beginning and you were trying your best to act like you weren’t getting affected by what you saw on the screen
-But you were
-You went from “I’m grown ass adult, I can watch a fucking horror movie, no problem.”
-To “Welp, not enough of a grown ass adult for this-“
-And Asmo thought the way you tried to hide your nervousness was very mesmerising in a way
-He was planning on flirting with you during the movie anyway, but now that you were pressing himself against him?
-Oh boy, Oh boy
-“Darling if you wanted to touch me, you could’ve just said so. Making the excuse of watching a movie is unnecessary.”
-Nightmares? What nightmares? You won’t have time to have nightmares ;)
-haHAHA funny inappropriate joke
-It’s Asmo, it’s mandatory to have at least one of those added in here
Beel:
-Beel will show up if there’s food and that’s that
-He doesn’t care what type of movie is playing on the TV as long as he has a bucket of popcorn next to him at all times
-Horror films aren’t something he can’t handle, he’s a demon like the rest of his brothers and he is used to...violent deaths and such
-He doesn’t get scared but there are times where he gets attached to the characters
-Especially movies with actual good and not cringeworthy dialogue
-Therefore, when they die, he gets sad even if they’re just fictional and their death had no real impact
-He also thinks that the way you can watch these things without flinching is impressive
-I mean, he can watch it and so can his brothers because they are demons
-They’ve done worse things than the things you see in horror films
-But you’re a human! So it’s weird to see you watch a person get repeatedly slammed against a wall until their neck snaps without batting an eyelid
-Overall, he does not have an opinion on scary movies
-He gets a bit emotional when a character he really liked dies
-But other than that, he’s just focused on eating
-And occasionally patting your head affectionately
Belphie:
-He doesn’t really like horror films because there’s a lot of screaming and tense music and he’s just trying to nap in your lap (rhyme)
-He doesn’t really need sound effects like that in the background while he’s trying to sleep
-But one day he was like “Hey, what if I show my favourite human this particular scary film?”
-And he did
-And he’s internally dying and feeling guilty and yet so flustered because of you
-It’s like you suddenly turn into this very fidgety and anxious mess and he thinks you just look....cute
-At some point you were getting overwhelmed and sprung up on your feet to turn the lights on
-And he just grabbbed your wrists, pulled you down next to him and let you press your head against his chest
-As mentioned, he’s a little shit and will tease you for being such a scaredy cat
-“That was the most predictable jumpscare and you still flinched, wth is wrong with you lmao.”
-But at the same time....
-“Relax. It’s just a horror movie. You’ll be fine. Besides, I’m here. Like I would let something bad happen to you.”
-That’s sweet, even if the tone of voice may not imply it because he’s such a brat-
-He actually really likes holding you for once, because usually he’s the little spoon
-He’s still a bit of a sadist so I imagine him sitting there and watching this while giggling to himself
-Isn’t he the cutest, laughing at other people’s misery and their never ending suffering?🥺🥺🥺 UwU
-Ah well, at least he has the decency to spoil with affection afterwards and make sure you have no nightmares that night
-You know, as payback for the horrific shit he made you watch with no warning
————————————
OK, I think I made a decent job of this even though it took longer than it actually was meant to. Thank you for reading though. I’ve got so many requests to go through and I’ve been feeling motivated lately so yeah!
See you soon
Al~
#obey me#obey me imagines#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me leviathan#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me satan#watching scary movies#obey me shall we date#☂️ demon brothers#⭐️ requests#🌸 comfort#💳 mammon supremacy#I love him I’m sorry
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college model!juyeon
SO the people have spoken (aka 3 people but it’s more than 0 so I DON’T CARE) and without further ado HERE WE GO IT’S A COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON BLURB. please reblog if you enjoyed and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3
pairing: juyeon x gender neutral!reader
wc: 2.4k
genre: fluff, a bit of angst when mc is stressed, university!au
triggers: cursing, like the tiniest bit of suggestive stuff but absolutely nothing explicit (it’s really just saying juyeon is hot which wbk)
fashion major!kevin
TBZ Scenarios Masterlist | TBZ Drabbles Masterlist
so juyeon isn’t actual a professional model-model like he just happens to be v tall and v handsome and therefore catches the eye of every single fucking fashion major (and other people too) on campus but i’m focusing on the fashion majors because he is LITERALLY model material. have you seen those fucking arms and that fucking face ANYWAY MOVING ON juyeon is an absolute sweetheart behind those stupid muscles and anyone who works with him swears it is impossible like legitimately impossible not to fall in love with his dumb little smile but the thing is juyeon only really agrees to model for fashion major kevin usually like sometimes kevin will pull in a favor and ask him to model for someone else who can’t find anyone (bc let’s be real kevin’s got a lot of friends he could definitely rope someone into modeling for him /cough the other 2/3 of bermuda line cough/ but more often than not kevin takes juyeon not bc juyeon is like the best model or whatever (he’s good obv but some people probably have more experience) but bc juyeon is the only one who will willingly wear some of kevin’s more questionable choices
and the fucking thing is. he still looks good in them. he walks down the runway in this weird ass shirt and pants or whatever the hell kevin’s cooked up for this assignment and people are like.... IT’S SO WEIRD BUT WHY IS JUYEON PULLING IT OFF
so YEAH juyeon is happily modeling his way through college while doing a dance major (one time kevin did his makeup to purposely make him look slightly sweaty and the crowd went fucking insane) and he’s got a lot of things going for him, looks, talent, hard work, etc. and he’s v good at dancing, one of the top in his year so in exchange for his modeling work kevin goes to his dance recitals/competitions to cheer him on and that’s actually how juyeon meets you
you’re feeling shitty bc you just broke up with your partner for whatever reason, let’s just say it was not an amicable breakup and you were about to hole yourself up in 1. the dorm or 2. the lab and just drown yourself in work to forget everything but kevin is one of your good friends and he rolls up and is like. nah. fuck no i’m taking you out we are going to get lunch and then we are going to go see my model friend at one of his dance recitals i promise you it will be FUN and??? you can’t exactly refuse because it’s kevin and he’s not wrong you actually do need to go outside and get some fresh air bc the only time you have left a building over the past week or so is to 1. go to class/the lab from your dorm or 2. to go to your dorm from class/the lab (you are a science major here bc i am a science major and i am heavily projecting ok don’t come at me. though i will say you do theoretical physics which i DO NOT DO but i think it’s cool if mind-blowing so again. projection. despite the fact that i will not touch quantum mechanics after today with a ten foot pole)
so kevin forces you outside and the day is going ok like it’s nice out and he pays for the food and the dance recital is amazing and juyeon has this mf solo that’s absolutely gorgeous and you’re like hitting kevin in the shoulder like omg dude how did you score a friend this talented and he’s like??? what the fuck do you mean by that are you saying i’m not talented and you’re like. well. and then he threatens to deck you but it’s all in good fun anyway MOVING ON when the recital is over kevin drags you over to meet juyeon bc he’s like! it is unacceptable that two of my good friends do not know each other and juyeon if you’re not doing anything you should come with us to dinner! and juyeon is like well i was going to go out with the dance team but you two could come with us and he’s all smiley and soft and you half want to praise the heavens and half want to go to hell bc he looks so sweet and happy and lovely and it’s an honor to be in his presence but at the same time you haven’t left a building for like a week and you’re pretty sure you still have eyebags that haven’t disappeared (jokes on you they’ll never disappear this is university) but kevin says yes for both of you and so you end up with dinner plans too
and it’s fun! everyone is really nice and even though you know nothing about dance you and juyeon end up having v cool conversation about each other’s interests and all that and you’re so immersed in talking with him that you don’t see kevin giving you side-eyes next to you every five fucking minutes (he’s like well. i didn’t see this coming but i’m not going to complain) and by the end of the night you have juyeon’s number in your phone and you’ve made plans to get coffee before class the next day (you don’t have the same class but they’re in adjacent buildings and at the same time so why not) and you go back to your dorm feeling happier than you’ve felt all week
it continues like this?? like it’s actually v weird bc even when you two don’t have plans to meet up juyeon just magically appears around where you’re supposed to be and when you remark on this at one point juyeon just kinda blushes and diverts the topic which makes you suspicious a little but he’s really sweet and has no stalker-ish vibes and you also double-check with kevin who just fucking starts laughing over the phone until you hang up bc he clearly doesn’t have the brain cells to talk to you anywho this is model juyeon and i haven’t talked about that much but HERE WE GO
kevin has a fashion show assignment coming up and juyeon doesn’t have much time to hang out anymore between fittings with kevin + his own major so you end up carting your ass to the fitting sessions after kevin invites you once to see what’s going on and juyeon actually gets scared by all the numbers n shit on your papers bc like what the fuck y/n are you a computer and you just whap him over the head with your stack of homework and say no shut the fuck up and model pretty boy (you don’t see but juyeon blushes bc you called him pretty. kevin saw though and he’s not impressed) but you end up not focusing on your homework bc kevin has juyeon put on and take off clothes at multiple points during the session and ofc if it’s pants or whatever juyeon goes into a different room but if it’s just a shirt.... let’s just say you get a free show and at some point you’re just like yeah i have to go and kevin’s like?? there’s still an hour left and you say something like i can’t focus here the vibes are off and KEVIN KNOWS WHAT’S UP but juyeon is adorably oblivious so he’s just like! ok! see you later y/n i hope you get your homework done :) and he’s so smiley and cute and you just want to melt and cry bc he’s shirtless which is hot asf but he’s also smiling like that which is cute asf and you’re getting whiplash
(you still end up joining the sessions every so often. you bring homework to try and get it done but your time is either spent critiquing kevin’s fashion choices or staring subtly (not) at juyeon)
then a not good week rolls around and it’s just been absolutely shitty between crap professors and too much homework and your lab is working on submitting a paper soon and you’re stressed to the max and to top things off you saw your ex earlier and they tried to talk to you and you really didn’t want to have it so you’re in the lab crying over your computer while you try to proofread the stupid paper and your phone is off bc you don’t want to talk to anyone but then the door bursts open and you nearly have a heart attack and there juyeon stands in clothes that definitely aren’t his own (they’re too sleek and fancy to be normal clothes at least) and his eyes are kinda wild before they locate you in the corner of the room, shell-shocked and confused and also still crying a little bit out of stress
and oh god juyeon’s eyes just soften totally and he walks over and before you know it you’re being pulled into a juyeon hug which is quite possibly one of the best hugs you have felt in a very long time and you’re doing your best not to break down right then and there bc his clothes feel hella expensive and he’s asking you what’s wrong and you can’t speak bc if you do you’ll cry on his model clothing and you finally manage to say that and there’s a beat of silence and then juyeon just goes well would it help if i took the shirt off
AND THAT JUST SETS YOU OFF AND NOW YOU’RE CRYING AND LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME AND JUYEON IS HALF SMILING HALF UPSET THAT YOU’RE STILL SAD BUT LIKE IT’S FINE IT’S TOTALLY FINE AND somehow you manage not to ruin kevin’s latest fashion creation (which makes juyeon look unfairly handsome even through your puffy eyes) and juyeon closes your laptop and takes you out to the convenience store (still dressed in his modeling outfit jfc) and over shitty ramen and alcohol (or water/juice/whatever if you don’t drink) you tell him about your crap week and juyeon commiserates and listens
at some point you ask him why he’s still wearing kevin’s clothes like?? surely you weren’t running around in them all day and juyeon just looks down and mumbles something and you’re like speak louder dude i can’t hear you and apparently he was in the middle of a session w kevin and kevin looked super stressed and worried and juyeon asked what was up and he told him about how you weren’t responding to anything and juyeon just. booked it the fuck out of there to find you and well now here you both are
and that. that just touches the FUCK out of you and wow you’re crying again bc of that and out of guilt for not talking to kevin or anyone and juyeon’s freaking out like oh my god please stop crying did i say something wrong and you’re just wiping your tears away with a napkin like no you doofus i’m sorry i made you worried it was just that shitty week and??? why did you sprint out of there IN KEVIN’S MODEL CLOTHES you gotta give those back??? and it looks like silk you know that’s going to be a bitch to clean
juyeon just pouts then and mumbles something under his breath and is like. it’s not more important than you.
which makes you reel bc that sounded a lot more like a confession than you’re really ready to process and juyeon seems to realize that at the same time and now you two are both just wide-eyed staring at each other and juyeon’s ears are going red and you’re still in shock and at some point you’re like... juyeon you stupid bastard say that again and he DOES and okay maybe you’re not dating by the end of the night but you sure are two weeks later when you ask him whether or not this is now a date and if he’s your boyfriend and juyeon spills coffee all over himself
(he mumbles yes as you’re wiping the coffee off his front though so it’s fine)
(it does not help that the coffee has now made the outline of his stomach visible)
anyway in general it’s a v cute and v sweet relationship :D juyeon is head over heels for you and you’re head over heels for him too and you’re not like the over the top sweet and gross couple you two like to keep it a little low-key but ofc that doesn’t stop kevin from banning you from fitting sessions w juyeon out of fear that you’ll like make out while juyeon’s wearing the modeling clothes but that’s just kevin being a little shit so it’s fine
juyeon manages to bring that silk shirt back to kevin in one clean piece
you manage not to die every time you go to one of juyeon’s dance recitals (even when he puts in a fake eyebrow piercing and you almost have a heart attack)
juyeon often likes to come into the lab for nothing other than to watch you work bc according to him its fascinating to watch you manipulate numbers and actually the lab is a v nice and quiet place to get things done when it’s mostly empty so you have a few study dates there
you go to juyeon’s dance practices sometimes when you have nothing better to do and get excited over showing him the physics of some of the dance moves and juyeon understands almost none of it but he’s beaming bc you’re so excited and animated while talking about it and the first time this happens is when you two have your first kiss. you ask juyeon if he was kissing you to shut you up and he says no i just thought you looked so happy that i had to kiss you
juyeon is a gentleman and you are like the sarcastic best friend turned lover but it really works out and yea there are a lot of people jealous that you managed to wrap juyeon around your finger but you’re also wrapped around his it’s v much a partnership where both of you rely on each other and yeah. it’s sweet. it’s lovely. juyeon hot but more important juyeon best boyfriend ever <3
and that’s how it goes.
If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3
(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s clothes let’s all pray that no tears stain his silk)
#destinyverse#kpopscape#tbznetwork#the boyz#tbz#juyeon#the boyz juyeon#tbz juyeon#lee juyeon#the boyz x reader#tbz x reader#the boyz juyeon x reader#tbz juyeon x reader#juyeon x reader#lee juyeon x reader#the boyz oneshots#the boyz imagines#drabble#fluff#tw cursing#university!au#stream of idiocy#scriptura-delirus
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@bonknanab here's your taeho reading💕💖💕💖💕 get ready to be emotional
This is so long rip
P1harmony:
Theo🤝Keeho
Sun
Theo: Cancer, uwu. Protective sweethearts. That mom energy. But can be v protective of themselves too. That's the kind of the hard exterior you could see A Lot when he was first in camera, and the shy aurora even tho he's an extrovert. He's just trying to protect his soft self from the world. They really like to feel safe (kinda like taurus) they like to have a home that's secure so they tend to resist change. They can be pretty sentimental. They're guided by their emotions. They're pretty vulnerable and have a deep capacity for love. Very sensitive, can get hurt easily. Can be touchy, dependable and caring
Keeho: libra, air. Very sociable, just really love being with people. Very approachable. They really like balance but they can unintentionally cause problems because they spread themselves too thin. They really have good intentions but they could 100% lie to not create waves. Theyll kind of do anything to keep the peace. They can be pretty indirect/ hate confrontation, which can drive some people mad (🙋🏼♀️its me😂)Real masterful at avoiding things. They have high expectations and tend to compare things.
Moons
Theo- scorpio: I love this boy so much wow😭
He's and emotional boyyy. So he really likes emotional intensity. He feels things really deeply. They can really see through to the soul of a person. They unconsciously get uneasy when things are too calm/ easy and might seek emotional excitement/ drama. All or nothing. They dont want flings, they dont start things unless they'll finish them. Ok so they love commitment, they seek it ok, but they're also super cautious and suspicious of everyone. They tend to unintentionally test the people in their lives for loyalty...But after theyve committed they're incredibly loyal and protective😭Some people can be intimidated by them but others are drawn to them. They seem to just know things, crazy good intuition.
Keeho-Aqua, air. Unique, used to being different, shy kids. They're kind of detached and like to observe and try to understand others. So he has pretty strong barriers. They're pretty sociable but still have the heart of a loner☹. They really love letting other people know they're different and possibly shocking them. They brag about their loved ones uwu. General kindness towards others. Can be willful. The need a certain amount of freedom, and are pretty independent, at least emotionally.
Mercury
Theo- gemini, air. Scattered, eclectic interests. They have a basic knowledge of a lot of things. Quick learners, take in a lot from their environments. Can become restless. They can be very logical (but his water definitely adds the emotion and intuition) Very adaptable, not very attached to their ideals. Smooth talkers, possible deceptive humor (like poking at someones weakness, but lightheartedly) Good communicators and decision makers.
Keeho- libra....this boy is all air wtf. These people irk me because if you take a stance they automatically take the opposite "so it's equal"
Anyway they strive for that equality and diplomacy. Very pleasing communicators. They might be focused on trying to sound smart they forget to listen to the other person😂 They're gentle and adapt to others comfort levels. They are always looking for compromise, they hate absolutes in opinion. Great mediators (wow great leader) They can get lost in indecision because they weigh the good and bad almost endlessly. HELP it's hard for them to give a compliment without adding something 😂BOY. They try to make everyone happy. They tend to need other people to make a decision....but when they give input this mf will probably choose the other option💆🏼♀️
Venus
Theo- taurus- I want to give this boy a hugggg😭
So they need to be comfy. They need dependability in their relationships. Can be possessive in love. They're very touchy in their affection. They do hate change but they are incredibly dependable. To win them over you need to show your loyalty and show how much they mean to you. They can take a while to warm up but that's just because they're a slow/ cautious earth sign. Dont push them, but get comfy with them, do cozy things together. " Harmony and peace are important factors in the art and music they are attracted to." They really said harmony💖
Keeho- virgo, earth. Not flirty👀👀 pffft ok. Tries to win someone over with devotion and showing them a ton of attention. Cautious, slowly makes his way into their heart. Sensitive and insecure in love😭 They need to know feelings are mutual before they make a move..... Can childishly tease their crush💆🏼♀️ But they have good intentions. They arent attracted to show offs, they like understated, unnoticed people. These people love quietly helping and doing the little things. You'll win them over if you recognize their efforts, they just want to be appreciated.
Mars
Theo- sagittarius, fire.
When they feel attacked or threatened they have the need to run and just go do something else. Then they come back. It's really go for these people to be physically active, they need a healthy outlet. Can be pretty scattered, they just do what they want to in that moment which can mean leaving a ton of projects unfinished. Optimistic, fun loving. Love a good debate, but with his gem mercury I highly doubt it would get as heated as with a less flexible sign (like me). Passionate, open-minded, but can be blunt. Lol they can be confusing because they go from fun loving to intense. They need space and freedom, probably not a ton cuz he is a cancer, but like freedom to express himself. They have grand and idealistic ideas.
Skip S*x mentions: ok so doesnt have a lot of patience for anything too complex. Loves to have fun and laugh. Lowkey selfish. Can be very direct but almost innocently? Not a fan of people playing hard to get. They dont care for anything to serious in the bedroom (idk this might not be so true with his other placements, but the emotions probably come right after.
Keeho- cap, earth: this boy is v interesting.
Lowkey energy LOL. Very determined. Very goal oriented and focused. They like to be on top of everything. They have a lot of self control. They like to be in control. Really reliable, great leader.
*Straightforward and simple. Will want to keep it v private. They like when they're with someone who's experienced and powerful.
Messy thoughts
Ok but keeho would love theos mercury because hes unlikely to have extreme opinions and they're both very adaptable, I can imagine them getting into any serious arguments at all. I know keeho would annoy me so much but theo is probably totally fine. K- want to go to A ot B for dinner? T- B, K- ok but what if we go to A. T- ya that's fine. Like wow🤝
Earth venuses😭😭😭😭 they're actually perfect dont touch me. Needs dependability/ wins you over with dependability. Perfection. They both play the long game, slow burn. Keeho literally is attracted to wall flowers goodbye. Just say theo is your soulmate and leave. Keeho called theo his love for a reasonnnn also theo fr didnt say anything cuz yes we are each others love.
They both need their own space
Ok so I think theo would really appreciate keeho non-confrontational self because theos pretty sensitive 😭
It's really looking like theo is the type of person to get lost in their emotions and keeho could really help pull him out of that and help him just chill? Have fun?
Ok sooooo their moons are not the bestttt. Cuz scorp is super emotional and deep and aqua is like... detached. Their emotional selves are very different. But also they could be so intrigued by each other, like trying to understand wtf is going on in their heads.
Ok but theo can 100% see passed keehos emotional barriers and like See him. And I feel like keeho might not have ever felt that before and😭😭😭 idk they could be really really close.
Keeho sounds so sweet and perfect for theo. Always making sure hes comfy😭
(They really both said keep it simple in the bedroom. Like damn ok, keep being a perfect match)
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( cismale ) haven’t seen AMOS BAROT around in a while. the DEV PATEL lookalike has been known to be (+) INSOUCIANT & (+) KEEN, but HE can also be (-) TROUBLED & (-) DERISIVE. The 24 year old is a SENIOR majoring in COMPUTER ENGINEERING. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( james. 20. EST. she/they. )
hello !! here is my other baby, who is...somehow, more of a mess than naeva !! no dilly dally, let’s jump right into it !!
TW: drug addiction/abuse, car accident. mental illness.
a e s t h e t i c s ( except i am a sham of a person and sorta very much forgot to save my aesthetics so ! winging it ! )
floral suits and a light air of mock-arrogance, charming smiles and a mischievous glint, easy sarcasm and raised eyebrows. rolling joints resembling cigars, smoke drifting towards ceilings as conspiratorial rambles escape intoxicated lips, wild gestures and toppled book stacks, four expresso shots at the stroke of midnight and equations leading off whiteboards. heavy eye bags and warm smiles, dismissive words and excuses. sleepwalking to the middle of the quad for the third time that week, donning white boxers littered with red hearts...again. secret glances and barely contained excitement, distractions from the obvious.
general info !!
full name: amos ronak barot
nickname(s): n/a !!
b.o.d. - january 17th, 24 yrs old, capricorn
label(s): the academic, the ebullient, the fallen, the icarcian.
height: 6′2″
hometown: london, uk ooo fancy
sexuality: wildly. chaotically. bisexual.
his stats can be found HERE
and his pinterest can be found HERE !
biography
introducing...another one of indira’s cousins !!!!
born to olena barot, member of the american embassy in london/future U.S. ambassador to the UK and ronak barot, CEO of his very own computer company. needless to say, he and his younger sister alya were born into a certain wealth
they hopped between the US and the UK and wherever else they desired to go on vacation to with ease; UK for school and US for breaks, rome or paris or wherever else, simply whenever.
despite this though !! olena and ronak had always wanted their children to find their own success, to be financially stable without their assistance once they got older. therefore, it was a known fact in their household that they’d be cut off financially by the time they were 21.
luckily, neither of them really minded this? both children had always had an extreme thirst for knowledge and a wonder for things. even so--their childhood wasn’t quite typical, as their competitive natures led to them trying to one-up each other?
alya and amos grew up extremely close to each other, being so close in age it really didn’t feel as if she was the younger sibling; they were more like twins than anything. obviously, amos still gloated about being the eldest, but their bond was tight.
there were moments in their childhood where if anybody, and i mean anybody--spoke ill of alya, amos would get into physical alterations. he’s much more peaceful now, but the history is still there.
by the time amos entered sixth form, his studies were--while still very important to him--less frequent. he’d go out nearly every night, gone whole weekends, partying or being a general hooligan.
alya, however, did not partake in these activities. this is where they differed--amos had always been an extrovert, fond of crowds and people and being in the center of it all. causing ruckus. wrecking havoc. alya’s always been...reserved, in the best way possible. few knew just what a gem she was, but she really was to be treasured. even so--the less time amos seemed to spend at home, the more distant alya became towards him.
but, surprise: despite being literally, incredibly smart, amos got BIG DUMBASS ENERGY and was very very oblivious to the why and how of this. which really, really did not help.
unfortunately, there wasn’t any time to dwell about this.
around the same time, tragedy struck the barot family.
after one of his lil’ runabouts, amos came home to find furniture being escorted out of their house, police--his sister crying, his mother ashamed, his father nowhere to be found.
and soon after, amos found out that his father was arrested for a scandal that sent many into a tizzy. essentially: the company fucked over their own customers via stealing their info, committing some fraud, y’know, credit cards and social security numbers, sellin’ it. just. some nasty white collar crime.
it also wound up fucking up olena’s newly acquired position as the US ambassador for the UK. she was released from the embassy during ronak’s trials.
he ultimately wound up in prison, and olena moved their family back to the U.S.
and amos--being the big dumb baby he is, figured the best thing to do was to pretend it hadn’t bothered him one bit! so he did exactly that!
i imagine that they moved close to indira’s family, and amos spent a lot of time with her from there then.
however, in between pretending things were fine and dandy, and home life, and the drag and pull of parties, anxiety weighed down amos’ bones like...constantly. his family was now, essentially, poor with a mass debt thanks to their father. the expectations for amos to do good, to be better--the fall of amos’ biggest role model.
it was all too much. anxiety attacks became frequent, provoked by the slightest thing--he could only lay awake at night, sleep infrequent. he was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and insomnia, and treated for both--some days it still doesn’t feel like enough.
getting a scholarship to lockwood is probably the best thing to happen to him in a long time. it was a new look into a potential future.
got into the uh...career, of sorts, of doing people’s assignments for them for a hefty payment, alongside his normal job. just to make sure he had spending money and whatnot.
involving tatiana: their friendship bloomed after he did a few assignments for her, y’see--then came the midnight adventures, and whatnot. i wouldn’t have called them close by any means, but they had fun together when they weren’t arguing. their friendship ended after a pretty bad car accident--neither were fatally hurt, but the car was wrecked and it was amos’ fault and it just. sorta was the end of that.
he’s got a...reliability on his sleeping pills, if you will. it’s not healthy in the slightest, but he’s convinced it’s nothing serious. it’s pretty serious.
his eyesight is also getting worse--expected to become legally blind by the time he’s forty.
more on those l8r
personality
there’s a lot of words you can use to describe amos! pretentious, sarcastic, provoking, hardly ever serious, immature, petty, Just Like That, full of himself, smartass, big dumbass energy. y’know. just an infinite amount.
he can be so dramatic! everything he does is exaggerated. he rolls cigar-sized joints at every party. goes around with a horrible ‘20s mobster voice, voicing his lil’ conspiracies.
it’s both hard and very easy to forget that amos graduated as valedictorian of his high school (stealing it, from somebody else--i should mention, as he came in halfway thru the year and kinda just. snatched the title.) because he can be a real idiot sometimes.
because he tries to hard to mask his insecurities, he overcompensates with just. being childish. he’s fun to be around but sometimes he can just be. exhausting.
so like, he went into computer engineering because that was just sorta what he always wanted to do? besides programming? he really wanted to take after his father--but with him being in jail and whatnot, kinda puts a damper to that dream. still, he can’t stop.
so he’s just. really good with computers tbh?? built his own, programmed his own firewall. his dream is to open his own cybersecurity company.
VERY STRESSED LIKE CONSTANTLY like catch him in the library with six empty coffee cups surrounding his work, it’s 2am--he hasn’t slept, in fact his eyes are likely taped opened. he works a lot.
but parties...a lot more! he tries rly hard to not mix his medication with anything so that leads to him...not always taking it, or overcompensating when he misses. it’s a mess. he’s a mess. he thinks he knows what he’s doing but he’s NOT.
i think...i’d consider him lovable. he’s a lil eccentric, a lil high energy.
LOVES HIS FAMILY. like, listen. he still loves his dad. would protect his cousins and sister and mother with his mf life.
alya and him aren’t on the...best terms rn. so that Hurts.
he can be really petty tbh ?? like he can’t take arguments seriously so he just becomes this fucking manchild. he will mimic u. he’ll mock u. he can be hurtful.
god...i don’t even know what else to say. just take him TAKE HIM
wanted connections
as always, i am a big slut for every connection.
give him his Lads. his buds. his pals. his broskis. his bromances.
ride or die(s)
people he tutors !! people whose work he does for them !!
somebody who goes to him b/c of computer troubles n he’s just like...r u going to pay me or nah
high school friends??
party pals??
his sister may become a WC in the future but idk quite yet, we do stan her though !!
drug dealer pls n thank
ex friends ?? fake friends ?? toxic friends ??
bad influences ?? good influences ??
hook ups ?? like a lot of ‘em ??
confidante ?? just somebody he can. rant to.
academic rival just b/c i really love intense study-offs
enemies for whatever reason ??
exes ??
particularly this one ex he was really, really in love w/ but life just got really stressful and idk it affected their relationship and they sorta just. ended it. idk who ended it w/ who but it probably wasn’t mutual and he’s probably really still hung up about it.
i mean i’ll take...anything...did they run into each other once and now just see each other everywhere??
unrequited things??
really cute close friendships??
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[MF] Fever From The Orient
His name was Matthew and he smelled of shit. He hadn't showered in 2 weeks, his crotch smelled like a combination of wet dog and rotten meat. The grease down there was thick and smelly, he reached his hands down there, wiped up as much as he could then ran his long, thin fingers through his filthy jet black hair, slicking it back. The film that developed on his inner thighs was so sticky it caused a rash to break out there from all the friction. He sniffed his fingers curiously, the rotten scent had begun to physically arouse him. He had gone stinko for so long that he gained a perverse enjoyment out of the whole thing. Every night as he went to bed he'd swear he would take a shower the next morning but so overcome by sleepiness and a lack of motivation, he also seldom left bed on time. He was chronically late to work at the customer service call center. There he had brought his habit of mumbling things to himself, it had started at home alone, then in the workplace between the all too frequent phone calls until finally, he found out that people either didn't care or just didn't want to know so he brought his verbal tics to the phone, in between sentences as some kind of period.
"Good morning sir fuck shit. What can we do for you today at the Stewards of Environmental Friendship customer service department, oh God kill me."
"Yeah hello I'm looking to file a complaint. My fuckin' tap water is fuckin' brown and it gave my fuckin' wife dysentery meanwhile I can't stop shitting over here, I'm speaking to you from my fuckin' toilet bowl. Now you gonna do something about it Sonny Boy or am I gonna have to come down there and speak to you up close, eh?!
"There's no need for that sir, here at the S.E.F. we pride ourselves on our customer service ,my life is worthless. Please hold while I transfer you to our water quality and inspections department, I have no balls."
"What's that Sonny? I didn't catch that last part? Something about balls?"
"No sir," he replied reassuringly, "I said I have many calls. Hold on, I'm transferring you now."
People didn't care. He was just another blank face in a sea of blank faces. He had grown up thinking that he would matter, that he would have an impact on society. But years of isolation and mediocrity had taught him otherwise. It had crossed his mind that one day he might break and then become one of them. Not that he wanted to, the idea nauseated him. Rather, it was the stark choice that he would one day come to out of desperation: either a purposeless life marked by sheer loneliness or one of assimilation into the mainstream. Feigning normalcy seemed to be the only way out of this god awful state he had fallen into. He could turn into a bland dullard who talked about the latest episode of the current Netflix show with his coworkers by the water cooler. A socialized consumer with the scent of status quo due to all the products he consumed with his fellow man. He had tried to fake interest in those types of things before but it was too taxing. He would rather spend his time staring at the wall for hours, idly twirling his hair and getting carried away by his overactive imagination then pretend to find stimulation from overpaid ex-convicts fighting over some kind of ball. Either that or he could go completely insane and become another type of office fauna; a mumbler, who was to be avoided. He could do his time, get a pension, and then die just like so many others. The bureaucracy had a way of reducing human. life to its lowest, basest form. Those were the paths that were laid out for him, at least until he got an idea.
It came to him one Saturday morning while he was watching the news. A new super virus had started in China. It was highly contagious and though the official number of fatalities given by the Chinese government was very low, they had effectively quarantined 3 cities making a combined total of 23 million people. If the mortality of the disease was so low like they say it seemed like an odd move to make. This had to be much worse then they were letting on, he thought. It could be the next plague and in this modern globalized world it would be very hard to contain. This idea excited him, his testicles shrunk as norepinephrine flooded his system. The news said so far there were only 3 suspected cases of it in America and they were currently being quarantined and treated for the virus. Research on the disease was still in its early stages though so the chances of those people surviving were slim. The world was so boring, every time something exciting was on the verge of happening the government stepped in and squashed it. How very mundane it all was. Mother Nature’s attempts at revenge were always being culled prematurely. Matthew reached his hands down his pants to his crotch and rubbed his inner thighs and genitals until his hands were oily and sticky. He took them out and smelled them with the vigor of a dog nose deep in another one's butthole. Then he ran his fingers through his hair a couple of times and began to think.
Matthew long fostered an unhealthy obsession with infectious diseases. This fetish was born two years ago when he was suffering from an array of unexplainable bodily manifestations that (drove him into a deep depression) started when he was in the midst of a deep depression.* Already being in a fragile state of mind, the symptoms terrified him. None of the doctors could figure out the cause. Their impotence drove him into a fit of monomania as he fell into a spiral of obsessive research and after countless hours spent scouring the Internet for clues he became convinced that he was dying from some rare, exotic malady. Squeezed in the vice like grip of neurosis, his already frail mental state was deteriorating rapidly until finally all the months of severe psychological strain and isolation came to a head when he suffered a major panic attack from which he never fully recovered.
He had gone to the doctor that day to be tested for a sexually transmitted retrovirus, which was impossible for him to have contracted as he was a virgin. In the days before the appointment his insomnia worsened. Every night he laid wide awake in bed contemplating his potential death sentence as the minutes ticked by ever slowly. By the time he arrived for his appointment he was a nervous wreck. He hadn’t changed his clothes in a week, he was too consumed by his thoughts to even notice. After checking in with the receptionist he took a seat in an empty corner of the waiting area away from everybody else. The scheduled time for his appointment came and went as he sat there occasionally muttering obscenities to himself. Nobody seemed to notice though or they pretended not to. It’s easy for a lonely person to lose their mind in this world where community has crumbled and from the ashes of it came a new world of atomized individuals who, like the old society, held mental health to be taboo. Matthew’s heart, strained by stress and sleeplessness began to beat faster. Knowing something was wrong, he tried to take some deep breaths to calm down but his ribcage constricted his longs keeping them from fully expanding. While struggling to inhale his left temple began to hurt then in his chest he felt a heavy, dull ache. A panic enveloped him despite his attempts to stay calm. This is it he thought, a stroke just like his father. By the time the nurse finally called him in he had forgotten the reason for his visit.
By the time the doctor had finally called him he was a nervous wreck. His brain was tingling and he was overcome by lightheadedness. Matthew frantically described what he was experiencing. The doctor nodded then had an EKG performed on him. The results were normal. The doctor left him alone in the examination room with the door closed as his heart beat faster and faster. She came back in with anxiety and depression questionnaires where you’d circle a number from 1-3 to indicate the severity of the symptoms listed with 3 being the most severe. He circled 3 on every single symptom except for the one about suicide. He knew that an honest answer on that one would send him straight to the psychiatric ward. Have you been feeling a sense of worthlessness? 3. Do you think you would be better off dead? 3. Are you unable to experience pleasure from activities you used to enjoy? 3, and so on. The doctor came back in and looked at the results of the survey.
“Doctor I think I’m having a stroke! I almost forgot what day it is and my vision is getting blurry!" He desperately cried.
“The EKG test came back normal.” The doctor replied.
“But an EKG doesn’t test for strokes, look!” He shoved his phone in her face which had a Wikipedia article open. “I gotta go to the hospital doc, I don’t wanna die!”
“You’re gonna be alright. Are you currently seeing a psychiatrist?”
“Yes for 5 years.”
“5 years?! And you are still feeling like this? Are you taking your medication?”
“Yes every day I never miss a dose.”
“Well you had better give him a call.”
“GOD DAMMIT I’M HAVING A FUCKING STROKE AND YOU WANT ME TO CALL A HEAD DOCTOR? I’M GONNA DIE IF YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING!” “If you want to go to the hospital then go but all your vitals are normal.” She replied, then exited the room.
Matthew texted his mother that he loved her,(she replied back with an 'Ok') then dialed 911 and called for an ambulance at the doctor’s office. It felt like an eternity had passed by the time the EMTs had shown up. They looked puzzled as Matthew walked out of the examination room, after all, who walks into an ambulance? They brought him out to the ambulance, sat him down, and took his blood pressure. It was a little high but not enough to warrant a trip to the emergency room.
“So how are you feeling, big guy?” One of the paramedics asked.
“Oh shit, this is all in my head isn’t it?” Matthew replied, burying his head in his hands.
“It’s alright pal just try to relax.”
They let him go after a short conversation where they had advised him to ‘go outside’ and ‘make some friends’.He couldn’t do any of that though, the motherly advice had vexed him and he was so mortified and humiliated by the whole thing, But it had all felt so real though! He had felt like he was going to die there, in the examination room. At the peak of the attack a feeling of tiredness washed over him like a warm bath as he had waited for the doctor to return. Is that what death felt like? Like just going to sleep? Huh, he thought, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be...
The idea had animated him. He got off the couch, put on his jacket, and headed out the door. He arrived in the Chinese quarter an hour later. Most of the shop signs were in Chinese which made his task difficult. He figured an old traditional medicine store would do the trick. Matthew spotted one after a few blocks, he couldn’t read the sign but the windows displayed bottles of what appeared to be ginseng and other herbal medicines. From the outside it looked cluttered, dusty and old, it looked even more so inside. A bell rang as he opened the door and went in. An elderly Chinese man with a bald spot stood behind the counter with his nephew by his side. There were a few people in line to pay and walking around browsing the aisles. He’d have to wait until they were all gone before he made his move. Matthew walked up and down the aisles several times until the other customers had all left. He went up to the counter whistling with his hands in his pockets. The old man eyed him suspiciously, Matthew looked different from his usual clientele. After all, every product in the shop had labels on them in Chinese, why would a white man come here?
“Good afternoon sir!” Matthew said loudly and then quietly: “I’m hoping you can help me find something.”
The old Chinaman looked offended. “What you want?” he asked in a heavily accented voice.
“I’m looking for something that’s been spreading pretty quickly in China, do you sell biological weapons here?”
“Huh? What?”
“Biological weapons, you know like that crazy flu that’s been ravaging China for a few weeks now. Do you by chance have any that I could purchase?”
The nephew looked at him bewilderingly.
“That’s not funny, asshole. I have family back there and they’re scared shitless!” He spoke. Through his clothes and lack of accent Matthew could tell he was Americanized.
“Oh that must be incredible! They’re at the epicenter of God’s wrath!”
“Sick! Sick! What the hell is wrong with you?!”
“Oh plenty’s wrong with me but I’m trying to get better, I’m trying to fix everything. So can you sell me a vial or whatever of the virus?”
The old man had been silently watching, trying to understand what was being said but he barely spoke English. He barked something that sounded like a question in Chinese to his nephew. The nephew shouted back to him in Chinese. The conversation went on for a few minutes, at first the old man looked positively furious but in the end it seemed like they agreed on something and both started giggling. The nephew turned back to Matthew.
“So you want that flu huh? Well my uncle here just came back from the Zicheng province! He can give you it, we will only charge you $100” Matthew was elated at this news.
“Oh yes! I knew you guys would have it!.”
He took out his wallet and gave him the money.
“So how do I get it? Is he gonna spit in a test tube or something?”
All of a sudden the old man leaned across the counter towards him and hocked a loogie right in his face.
“There, now you have it. Now get out of here you creep!” The nephew said.
“But how do I know I have it? There’s barely any snot in this thing, see?”
Matthew wiped the spittle off his cheek and showed them. Then he put his hand to his mouth and swallowed it. Both the nephew and the uncle’s jaws dropped to the floor.
“Give me more, that wasn’t worth $100.”
The nephew told the old man what he said in Chinese. The old man's eyes lit up.
“More? He want more?”
“Yeah give him some more.”
The old man smiled in delight. He leaned across the counter again, this time Matthew grabbed his face with both of his hands and forced his tongue into his open mouth. The old man let out a muffled scream. Matthew ran his tongue over every part of his mouth, sucking up any saliva that was in there.
“You bastard! Let him go!” the young Chinaman screamed.
After he was sure the virus had been transmitted he released the old man.
“Thank you very much! You don’t know how much joy this has brought to me.”
“You leave! You leave now!” Cried the old man, choking back a sob.
“Alright alright I’ll go. I just want you gentlemen to know that you have just participated in a historical event. Keep an eye on the news.”
With that he made guns with his fingers and shot imaginary bullets at them, making noises with his mouth and slowly backing out of the store. This was it! He thought. Finally I’m gonna make a difference in this world! He felt full of love and euphoria as he walked out into the street. He passed by a homeless man mumbling to himself 5 doors down. Ah, he’s just like me!
“Could you spare any change sir fuckass cock balls?” The hobo asked.
“Of course my brother!” He took out a dollar bill, licked it, then handed it to him.
“Don’t you worry friend, what I’ve given you is worth a hundred dollars! Stay strong my brother! Things will get better real soon!”
The bum looked at the bill then at him.
“You son of a bitch motherfucker crusty asshole on my face!”
He got up and grabbed Matthew by the collar.
“Oh ho ho! You want to make sure I gave it to you? Who am I to deny an eager man like yourself?”
He grabbed the homeless guy’s cheeks with his big yeti hands and gave him a deep kiss. The hobo’s eyes shot wide open in terror as he struggled to get away from him. Matthew let him go after he was sure he had tasted the man’s tonsils.
“Hey mister! What the hell!” he yelled frightened, backing away.
“God bless you sir! You were my first one! I will never forget you!”
“Wh-what? That was your first kiss?”
“No it was my second one, I just had my first one 5 doors down.”
“You’re crazy! Get away from me!”
With that he took off in a sprint. Matthew gazed at him lovingly like a mother looking down at her newborn baby. After he lost sight of him he popped his collar and strolled leisurely back home.
The feeling of euphoria carried over to the following Monday. Usually Matthew wouldn’t talk to anyone at the job but he had undergone an immense psychic change that past weekend. He talked with everybody and anybody would listen. He was constantly dishing out handshakes, fist bumps, and half hugs, taking bathroom breaks every now and again to get more crotch grease and spittle on his hands. His coworkers were frightened at first, but they warmed towards him after the initial shock. One of them, Jessie, caught him in the break room drinking out of someone else’s mug. He wrote it off as an honest mistake. Another one of his coworkers found him licking the water fountain nozzle. These vagaries went largely unnoticed though as the days went by. On Wednesday, Matthew went to his supervisor’s office.
“Good morning Tracy.”
“Hello Matt. So what did you want to talk about?” she asked.
“Well, it’s just that, I’ve been on the phones for 3 years now and I’d really like to branch out to broaden my work experience. Don’t get me wrong, I love this job, I just need something more stimulating, something challenging.”
She eyed him curiously.
“Well Matt, I’ve been hearing nothing but good things about you these past few days. But allow me to ask; what exactly prompted you to come here today and ask for a transfer?”
“Oh, it’s just that I finally broke out of that funk I was in ever since….well you know. Now I want to achieve things, I want to be more useful to the agency, My goal is to get the employee of the month award. I think I’ve always wanted to deep down inside but I never had enough motivation to go after it.”
“Hm, I’m impressed with you Matt. I know things haven’t been the same since that thing happened but I am very pleased to see you are doing well. Now what line of work are you interested in?”
“Well I saw there’s an opening at the front end. I think I’d very much like it there, as I’m sure you know I have excellent customer service skills so I think it would be a good fit.”
“Alright Matt. I have to send some emails but most likely the job is yours.”
Matt jumped up out of his seat like an electric eel.
“Golly thanks Tracy! I won’t let you down I promise!”
“I know you won’t Matthew,” she replied.
He stuck out his hand for a shake. Taking her petite hand into his, he pressed his palm into hers and maintained perfect eye contact. After about 30 seconds she broke her hand away.
“Did you just use hand sanitizer or something? Your hands feel sticky!”
“Yeah right before I came in. You gotta be real careful with all those viruses going around.”
Her eyes widened.
“That’s right! I was just watching the news this morning, they were reporting on that flu. That thing spreads like wildfire!”
Matthew broke out into an ear to ear grin. He bit his tongue to keep from laughing in ecstasy.
“Well thanks a bunch, Tracy. Have a good day.”
He made finger guns and pew pewed her as he shuffled out of her office backwards. At the door he performed a 180-degree spin and briskly walked back to his desk. Tracy stood behind her desk and sniffed her right hand.
He felt exuberant. Things that would usually bother him now ran off him like water on a raincoat. He even stopped mumbling to himself, his neurosis withered away and was replaced with a feeling of contentment. During this time he would go out at night and ride the subway back and forth, occasionally getting off to visit a museum or library where he would ask the librarian which books were popular nowadays then, hidden between the aisles he would inhale black pepper and sneeze on the first few pages. On the weekends he went to the cinema to see the latest blockbuster movie. Mostly they were juvenile superhero movies that he detested but now he didn't mind taking in 90 minutes of high definition opium. His habit of daydreaming which had consumed endless hours of his time had ceased. Now he didn’t feel the need to escape into the depths of his imagination. He took to life with a new zeal and for the first time since he was a child he was genuinely excited.
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