I just. I love my dad so much guys

How Dangerously Beautiful [Peter Maximoff]

Fluff

You like collecting knives, and the first time Peter comes over, he's interested in the love you have for the maybe weapons.

Yet another Maximoff fic I'm not sorry. I am love Maximoff :3

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

"We literally just got off the phone Maximoff!" You squealed as the front door was flung open. Nothing could ever make you used to the speedster's mutant powers. No matter how many times he sped himself over to you; outside, at his house, in your garden, at work... it always freaked you out a little. But a grin appeared as Maximoff stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

"well, you asked me to come over. And here I am, over." He breathed out, looking around, then speeding up the stairs. It made a sigh escape your tired body and rushed behind the speedster.

As Maximoff stood by a closed door, he pointed at it, almost quizzically. "Is this your room?"

"Well, do you see another closed doors that have a sign saying my name?"

"ah, yeah." He then just grinned at you and stepped in, immediately taking in the decorations and everything almost cluttering the walls. No mess Maximoff wasn't used to, but still looked around in slight confusion. "And here I thought you were the cleaner one in the relationship." A small chuckle escaped him as you just shrugged and stepped past the speedster.

Your eyes focused on the knife collection you owned with nerves. Sure people around the world liked making different things, selling and buying. But yours was an odd one, and it was the first thing on your mind while your silver-haired boyfriend explored your room. "Well...you know, I try to be." A deep breath when you started your sentence.

Just as soon as you let out a sigh, Peter noticed what you were staring at. He was entranced by the different coloured metals shining in the mid-day light. Entranced by the little details on the handles, and how they seemed to be crafted. "Woah man. These are...fuckin rad..." He whispered, fingernails lightly tracing one of the knives.

A gargled "no!" escaped you as you ran to stand in front of Maximoff. It was useless, he always stood taller than you. "Don't. Don't, touch them." Your voice came out as a shaky whisper rather than a loud and confident command.

"why not?"

"they're precious!!"

"You're precious but I touch you all the time all over."

"oh shut up." Gritted teeth but a blush at his off-handed flirt. Something you were used to, but in a situation like this it overrided your mind. "Just...be careful. Please?"

"Always am babe don't sweat." Another little grin as Maximoff picked up your favourite knife, by complete coincidence. It was a wine red on the handle, covered with little black designs. A spider on the end, a cliché broken heart on the same middle spot on both sides. Little lines and dots around here, there, over and around. Sharpened recently by the looks of it. The blade was dusty looking; the wine red covered in a deep dusk top, perhaps to save the sharpened edge that was new and shiny.

Peter was in love with it. He looked at it like he looked at you whilst you were on top, eyes full of stars...wonder, and just pure amazement. "This is... beautiful.." a small voice coming out of the usually loud and energetic man. As a response you kissed his cheek, staring at your most priceless collectable with the same wonder.

"It's my favourite one, and custom-made. My cousin had it made for me last year on my birthday." It was a bit of random information but probably the only good response you had at that minute. Another little kiss on his cheek as Maximoff placed the knife back in its holder.

"All of these are so pretty. Just like you." Grabbing you by the side and pulling you before him, admiring the small collection. Reds, greens, blues, all shades and colours. They almost sparkled in Peter's eyes as you looked up to him as best you could. "I mean, why knives though babe? They're dangeroussss!" A little singsongy voice, knowing you knew the dangers of having potential weapons such as these.

Small shrug as you wrapped your hands around Maximoff's arms. "I know they're dangerous. But I just, look at them. They're wonderful..."

A small chuckle as kisses were placed around the sides of your face. "Again, beautiful like you. They suit you and I think, you should get a full silver one. Just pure silver."

"what for you?"

"Absolutely!" Both of you laughed to yourselves, just admiring the wall of coloured metal in front of you.

"not a totally stupid idea...I'll think about it."

"you should." Another little laugh as another little set of kisses were peppered over your face.

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tag: @silverzoomies @babygorewhore @taintandviolent @coentinim @nahoyasboyfriend @newwavesylviaplath @fear-is-truth @slutforgarlogan @slvt4jamesmarch @bluerthanvelvet444 @briaroftheroses

✦Double Feature ✦

Cooper Howard x F! Reader

Cw: dubcon, violence ig, uh blood, piv, skullfucking, restraints, knife (briefly), choking, hair pulling

Summary: You’ve been picked up by Cooper and he intends to sell you for a bounty. (Plot if you squint)

WC: 2.6k+ (I went a little over board)

Ask: can you do something for cooper being rough

((Oh boy can I.))

——————————————————————

You squint against the sun, raising a hand to shield your eyes from it. Pain thrumming in your right shoulder. Your eyes adjust in time to catch the brown leather of his boot before it collides with your jaw.

——————————————————————

You’d been running your mouth all day.

Every time he’d fuckin moved, you’d had something to say about it. You weren’t sure if it was the constant, close proximity to each other, the unforgiving heat, or the knowledge he was about to sell you for a bounty, but everything was getting under your skin. You hated the desert. Hated him. You hated his cocky, fuck-em all attitude. Hated that the way he looked at you set your fucking blood on fire.

He’d barely spoken the entire journey, yet any time he did, you couldn’t swallow back some shitty little retort you’d had ready.

Up till this point, you’d maintained some level of feigned compliance. To a point, a part of you liked pissing him off. But, you knew who he was. The Ghoul. A fucking legend in the Wasteland. A killer.

But today you had felt braver. Or maybe the heat had just baked off the rest of your common sense.

He’d already told you to shut up once. And you had, for a small while. But his pace was slowing down, and the wheezing cough, signifying it was time for his next Rad-away dose, echoed back off the crumbling building along the roadway.

You had watched him fumble through his bag and had found it almost amusing. The most dangerous man in the Wasteland was one missed dose away from falling apart. It was ironically humanizing.

You watched him desperately consume the Rad-away and he stood straight again. You made it all of five steps before you found yourself laughing. When it echoed back to you it sounded hollow and mean in your own ears.

He’d stopped so suddenly you collided with him. Bracing your hands against his back for stability.

Your heart rate jumped. You could quite literally feel the mistake settling over you. When you looked up at him, he was glaring at you over his shoulder, eyes whiskey brown in the sun.

You hesitated before the step back, pulling your hands away from him. “I-“

Cooper turned to face you. The tension in the air was making it hard for you to breathe. You took another step back.

“Darlin’ I’ve told you once to shut your fuckin mouth haven’t I?” His voice was low and honeyed. Your pulse jumped again. He stepped in closer, eyes burning into yours. Your mouth was impossibly dry, chest rising and falling rapidly.

He looked at you expectantly. Was he waiting for a response? “…yes” You dropped your eyes.

“And here you are, still runnin that fuckin mouth.” He clicked his tongue and shook his head in exaggerated disappointment.

He’d hit you fast and hard, knocking you off your feet, your shoulder collided with the ground painfully.

——————————————————————

Your head is reeling after the kick, you struggle to focus your eyes again. He’s crouching over you, hands resting on his knees. He watches you with this intense, heated look while you push yourself up onto your elbows. As you try to catch your breath, you can feel the heat radiating off of him, making the air around you almost unbearable. You look up at him, your heart racing in your chest, and suddenly realizing the gravity of the situation. You were lucky he hadn't killed you yet.

"I don't like repeatin myself sweetheart." He says it almost sweetly. "If you can't keep that pretty mouth shut, how bout I keep it busy."

You swallow hard, feeling the words settle around you. His gaze is intense, like a branding iron searing into you. You know you have to say something, but your mind goes blank. “I-“

You know what he's implying, you're not stupid. The tension between the two of you had been building for too long, and this had been the boiling point.

Your eyes follow him as he stands up. He grabs you by the elbow and half drags you up into a kneeling position. When you try to fully stand, he presses his hand into your sore shoulder and pushes you back down. You look up at him, shame rolling over you. Your cunt is throbbing in time with your aching head now. He smirks down at you, unhitching the lasso from his hip. You watch as he loops it around his hand, the leather of his glove creaking slightly as he tightens it.

He steps in behind you, roughly pulling your arms behind your back. He pulls your wrists tight together, putting strain on your shoulders, and loops the rope around them. The rough rope burns against your tender skin, but you can't help the wave of arousal that rolls through you.

You feel him step back, releasing the pressure on your wrists. You try to pull your arms free, but they're tied tightly together. You can feel his eyes on you, burning into your skin. You turn your head slightly, looking over your shoulder at him.

He staring down at you, a hungry predatory look in his eyes. You swallow hard. A different kind of heat settling in your core. He steps back around, in front of you. "You ain't got anything to say now honey?" He asks, voice dripping with sarcasm. You meet his eyes indignantly.

Your heart is racing as you spit at him. Panic and arousal mixing into something primal in your blood.

He laughs, not bothering to wipe the spit away. Grabbing your face tight enough to make your jaw ache, he pulls you towards his crotch, his other hand fisting in the hair above your neck. "Can't tell if you're brave or stupid." He holds your gaze for a moment. “But I'd lay money on stupid."

He lets go of your face and undoes his belt, briefly fumbling one-handedly with the buckle. He audibly groans when his cock springs free. He's already hard, shiny pre-cum smearing the tip. Saliva floods your mouth and you look up at him again.

His expression is almost unreadable, aside from the fire in his eyes. He moves his free hand to his hip and unsheathes a jagged hunting knife. Your pulse quickens to a panicked rate, breath coming in sharp pants. “See this here sugar, is a serrated blade.” His voice is low and rough. “It doesn’t just slice,” he presses the blade against your cheek “it tears.”

Hot panic almost makes you drool as you watch him resheath it. “I’m tellin you once, don’t you go thinkin about biting.”

Your eyes meet his again. “Yes sir.” You don’t recognize your own voice, strained and rough. He smirks, clearly pleased with your submission. “Atta girl.”

Cooper’s hand tightens in your hair again, maneuvering you closer to his cock.

“Don't make me tell you what to do darlin’." His voice is a low growl above you. You swallow once and open your mouth obediently.

His fingers sift through your hair, guiding your mouth closer to his cock. As you lower your head, his tip grazes against your lips. You steal a glance at him, he's watching you with a heated gaze. You lean forward, feeling the hot, heavy head of his cock pressing against your tongue. Your eyes widen as you taste the pre-cum on his tip. You slowly start to take him into your mouth, your tongue sliding over the shaft. Coop watches you intently, his eyes darkening as you take him deeper into your mouth. You can feel his fingers tighten in your hair, urging you on. You wrap your lips around him, sucking lightly as you begin to bob your head.

He's been as patient as he's capable of being. He places his free hand alongside the other, on the back of your head. Stepping in closer, he pushes himself further down your throat. You gag, pulling against your bindings. His head drops back and he groans. You try to relax, willing yourself to take more of him. He grips your head and withdraws his cock slowly, before sliding it back down your throat. He quickly sets a rhythm, fucking himself down your throat.

As he continues to thrust his hips, his cock slides in and out of your mouth. You try to keep up with the pace, gagging occasionally but unable to pull away. You can feel the saliva dripping from your chin, mixing with his pre-cum. You can tell he’s close. His thrusts are sharper, shallower. You try to swallow around him and the constriction makes him groan. You can’t ignore the throbbing between your legs.

Your hips keen forward, against nothing while he buries himself in your throat. You feel him tense up as he nears his climax. His grip in your hair tightens, and he growls low in his throat. He pulls you forward, pushing himself as far as he can down your throat. He's so far down your throat, you don't taste it when he cums.

He hesitates for a moment before he withdraws his cock and you cough as he takes a step back, throat feeling raw and used.

He lets out a low whistle. "That mouth is good for somethin after all huh." He's smiling. You're panting and staring up at him. The taste of him lingers in your mouth, making you feel uncomfortably aroused. You glance away, trying to find some semblance of control. Cooper chuckles, a dark sound that makes your pussy ache. Your hips push forward again, almost subconsciously. The motion doesn't go unnoticed.

He smirks and tuts "My my, I must say I almost think you're due some kinda reward for that darlin." He leans forward smiling again, and presses the toe of his boot against your crotch.

You whine, a high pitched, pathetic sound. He chuckles again. "Oh I like that sound a whole lot better."

You feel a wave of shame wash over you, but you can't help the response to his touch. He leans down, his lips close to your ear.

"You know what? I think I'll make it a double feature for you today."

He licks a long stripe from your collarbone to just below your jaw. He bites you, hard. You aren't expecting it and the pain is shocking. But fuck it feels kind of good? You gasp, grinding yourself against his boot. He runs his tongue over the now broken skin and growls. It's a low animalistic noise that brings on a new wave of need.

He abruptly stands, grabbing ahold of your bound wrists and roughly turning you away from him. He briefly pulls you back to him, rutting his cock against you. His breath is hot against your ear. "Gunna be good for me?" His voice is rough against your ear and your back arches. He slides his hand around your throat, establishing a good grip. "Hm?" It was almost a purr. After several laborious breaths you whimper out a "Yes sir."

He smirks, pleased with your response. "Good girl." He shoves you down, pressing your face against the sand. He hooks an arm under your stomach, heaving you onto your knees. After a moment he, albeit somewhat awkwardly, gets your pants off.

You almost sigh as the cooler air hits your burning core. "Whew. Look. At. That." He punctuates each word with a smack to your wet pussy. You're not sure when he took his gloves off but the rough texture of his hand swatting your cunt makes you gasp and jerk away from him. He laughs and drags you back towards him by your wrists.

He slides a finger through your wet folds and exhales roughly. You’re embarrassingly wet. Slick gathering at your entrance and threatening to run down your thigh. “Downright sloppy.” You can hear the smirk in his voice and your face burns with embarrassment.

Teasing your clit briefly, before pushing two fingers into you. He exhales between his teeth, almost a hiss. The ghoul withdraws his fingers and quickly lines himself up at your entrance. He slides himself through your folds, rubbing the head of his cock over your clit before he thrusts himself into you.

He wastes no time in setting a brutal pace, allowing you no time to adjust to the size of him. A strained whine escapes you, your hands twitching in the grip he has on your wrists. His hand cracks down on your ass cheek, you bite back a whine.

You feel his hand squeeze your ass, and he leans down, pressing his weight over you. "That's it, darlin. Take it. Take what I got for you." His voice is like honey, coating your senses and making you feel weak in the knees. You hold back the moan threatening to peel its way out of you at his words.

He’s getting frustrated with your borderline silence. “Now sweetheart, you were so ready to run your mouth earlier.” He grabs a fistful of your hair and yanks you back against him.

“Let me hear somethin.” You gasp as he pulls you back, the sting in your scalp making your eyes water. You try to swallow past the lump in your throat, but the words won't come. He growls low in his throat, a mix of frustration and desire. He continues to thrust into you, his hips slamming against you in a brutal rhythm.

You grit your teeth, trying to ignore the stinging pain in your scalp and the burn of his thrusts. His other hand comes to rest on your cheek, pushing your head to the side so he can bite down on your neck.

The noise you make is something between a moan and a scream. His thrusts slow into a grinding roll that makes your eyes roll back. He moves to the other side of your neck and repeats the action and elicits a similar sound. "Mm that's my girl." Your back arches at his words.

He pulls back and picks his pace back up. His thrusts are becoming jerky and faster. Cooper leans over you, snaking an arm around you. His fingers find your clit and he slips his fingers over it in fast circles. You moan and try to push yourself back against him. You feel him slam into you, his hips driving against you in quick, hard thrusts. The feeling of his rough hands on your body mixed with the brutal pounding is overwhelming. You gasp for air, trying to ignore the sting of his bites as they mix with the ache in your body.

.

Your eyes roll back as the pleasure becomes almost overwhelming. You're close. His fingers pick up pace on your clit and he dotes a few particularly hard thrusts on you.

Heat floods your mind as your orgasm hits you, walls spasming around his cock. "Ha, fuck, that's it darlin'."

His pace stutters, his thrusts becoming sporadic and almost frantic.

"Fuck, gunna-" is the only warning you get before he cums, pulling you back against him hard.You feel the hot rush of him filling you up and groan.

His weight presses down on you, his breathing ragged as he tries to catch his breath. Struggling to catch your own, you note that you're still tied up. Cooper leans back, still almost panting, and pulls the knife out again. He cuts the rope loose and stands up.

As you lie there, taking in deep breaths, trying to recover from all of that, Cooper sheaths his knife and gives you a smug, satisified look.

You eventually get to your feet and redress yourself.

"Better get some rest darlin, we've got quite a bit of ground to cover tomorrow."

You look at him questioningly.

He smirks, a look of dark amusement settling in his eyes. "What? You didn't think you was off the hook for bein a good fuck?" He laughs, it sounds similar to your own, earlier laugh.

"Man's gotta make a livin sweetheart."

The sinking realization that you’re still being sold for a bounty hits you.

Maybe you’ll be able to get your way out of it.

Some Of My Favorite Cool Staging Choices in NPMD: a ramble, by me!

(is "staging" the right term? idk I wasn't a theater kid)

this will contain spoilers, which you can probably guess since it will be tagged as such.

When we see Richie getting attacked in the cold open, he's facing the audience; when it happens again (haha whoops) he's facing away from the audience & we get to see his attacker. idk man I just think the change in perspective is rad lol

Richie and Ruth taking the stage first for "High School Is Killing Me" because they're the ones who... y'know. (rip 💀)

when that first curtain thing lifts and reveals the rest of the stage 👌🏻

when Steph is trying to get Pete to help her cheat on the test the spotlight on them also lights up Grace before she butts in and gets them in trouble (foreLIGHTENing eh? eh?)

the rotating nerd huddle in "Literal Monster" brings me so much joy like Yes, put those nerds on a giant Lazy Susan and watch 'em go

the nerds sneaking along in the background when Max is singing

the bit with Miss Tessberger (sp?) leaving and returning to the stage from the opposite side

just everything about Pete & Steph's phone call. everything.

the stage going almost completely dark at the end of "Cool As I Think I Am" is fucking epic ok it's such a cool transition. also Max's "I bring light to darkness" and the lighting changes for that. they're both so cool

the bathtub prop. it just looks like it was fun to make. :)

when Steph is talking to Ruth & Richie and then she just turns and they're sneaking into the bathroom. it's like a movie transition in my brain. (also Mariah's little jump like she's trying to look into a stall is adorable)

NERDY PRUDES GOING TO THE WAYLON (sp?) PLACE MY BELOVED 💙 1. walking around the orchestra pit is cool & it's a fun, slightly-more-distanced throwback to when they walk thru the audience in TGWDLM & BF; 2. cool blue lighting + silhouettes, need I say more; 3. the tattered background descending as they walk is fucking magical

it's technically not part of the show at all but i have to give a shoutout to the person near the camera who goes "oh? oh?" when Pete & Steph exchange their cute lil looks in the Waylon House 😂

Richie moving behind the tattered curtains with the camera. also I know it isn't visible but the knowledge that the skele'on costume glows in the dark gives me life. (and Steph giving Ruth a thumbs-up when she's scaring Max??? adorable)

did they blur the npmd logo and put it over Max as he's dying? i fuckin love it no joke

that row of lights onstage just silently clicking off before Max shows up to get Richie 💀💀💀 and then they slowly come back RED

wHEN THE REST OF THE CAST LINES UP TO SILENTLY STAND WITNESS FOR RICHIE'S DEATH 💀💀💀💀💀

the pauses in Jeff's announcement to let everybody groan after their name is called (Joey's "ouhh noo" gets me every time)

I haven't really mentioned choreography because idk how to talk about dancing but... "Hatchet Town" my beloved <3 (all of the choreography in the show is so fun & cool)

BBQ monologues!! the stage is a stage! (whoa, is this tgwdlm???) Love the brief single spotlight on Ruth when she goes on, and bonus points for the red, white, & blue lighting bc barbecues are intrinsically linked to the 4th of July in my brain (🇺🇲🔥)

when Grace is talking to Detective Shapiro I love how gray the stage goes, especially after how colorful the BBQ monologue was, like ugh <3 it makes it feel more serious and important like shit's about to get real (it is)

Officer Bailey (I think that's his name? i do not trust my ears) just angrily moving the chairs after Grace steals his gun and escapes custody 😂

obligatory Beanies Paulkins & HCB scene 2.0 mention <3

Pete sweetie you were just at a football game how did you mix it up with baseball you fuckin nerd (affectionate)

The Chair Mishap™ (I'm not sure but I think all 3 of them broke there, to varying degrees)

Max chasing Solomon off the stage is fun, loved that. (oh shit if he gets you next make it thr... four. you'll be four. or five, technically...? are we still counting Max? this point got derailed.)

the squad car! the lights up top, the brake lights, and also I love when the car turns and everybody just leans to the side (SiS is my favorite for this). also Max just nyooming by as Shapiro takes off is hilarious.

HOLDING COURT WITH THE VOID!!! the increasing whispers, the lighting, the LORDS APPEARING, holy SHIT

the white lights & fog during the slow-mo bullet scene idk it just makes it for me

the homecoming disco ball and the different spotlights are great :D

the group pose at the end of "Best of Me"

the colored lights & Lords laughing at the beginning of "Dirty Dudes" 🤩

okay! that's everything that caught my eye on my fourth watch, lol. obviously there are many many many more awesome little details and funny bits but I wanted to focus more on the set & staging type stuff. it's really cool and interesting to me, especially after Black Friday's glorious secret Wiggly.

if you read all of this I hope you had fun!!

if you didn't have fun, feel free to keep that fact to yourself! 👉🏻👉🏻

megaman AI box art

there’s a pretty big discussion around AI art, it seems i’m not super-familiar with The Discourse but if my programming experience has taught me anything it’s that random generation has to springboard off of something (usually called a seed), and you have to feed stuff in to an AI to get material to build off of that springboard so i’ve got several big goddamn questions as to where t f these guys would get their seeds and material from

but me being me, the first thing on my mind is “can you draw megaman with it?” so i decided to insert in "megaman box art" to a handful of different ones, see what happens

first off is a place called Nightcafe Studio, which allows you to pick one of three styles to make art in: cosmic, matte, and cyberpunk. nacho cheese and cool ranch were out, sorry.

this is "megaman box art" as done in its cosmic style and it certainly looks cosmic megaman got a nose guard to defend against space pollen, i guess and either his arm got detached and is floating down there or he's got a vacuum cleaner attached to his shins but it sure is cosmic

6/10, pretty colors but not very megaman

next style was matte, and

this actually looks pretty fucking cool! you've got a rad cityscape in the background, lighting’s really neat, and background to the MGA AIN MGATAN logo as sponsored by pepsi is cool

i guess that's kind of sort of Model ZX aile if you squint and tilt your head, but she’s the main part that turns the entire thing sinister. did you know that when you’re dealing with the fae shapeshifted as a human, you should count the features to make sure everything’s accurate? count the knuckles, count the fingers, count the shadows... oops, six fingers hah hah hah hah hhhhhhhhhhhh this is not Model ZX aile, this is not your friend.

7/10 you’re not stealing my goddamn teeth today, oberon

last to go is cyberpunk style and

holy shit this is a fucking WWE poster roman reigns dressed in pink and got a fucking beam tonfa??? or something a very distorted vince mcmahon puts on a power glove while brock lesnar looks disappointed to the side, and fiery font tells us that the meemen meeaiiaininaihiniahin is gonna happen at 2 / F' / 20 i could imagine you could probably print this out, put it through photoshop for edits, and then try to pass it off as an official poster for a synthwave megaman reboot. if you were a moron who wanted to get fired, i mean. fantastic way to commit career suicide.

1/10 coolest shit i've ever seen but very bad megaman art tbh

still, i'll give cyberpunk another shot. maybe it was confused, thinking it was going to have men that were mega, rather than megaman

HOLY SHIT

fuckin AXE DADY megaman over here this has it all it's got the dictator cam, looking up like it's hitler it's got the stance, holding a black vylon slinky to the side while he contemplates shooting above it it's got the logo sleekness, i've never seen MEEMN AXE DADY rendered so well it's got the color contrast, bright blue city in the left while a goddamn laser rips through time and space on the right and it's got a cool robot that actually kind of has a buster arm, though the computer is clearly confused as to what megaman’s buster actually looks like maybe should’ve let an artist handle that?

10/10, great megaman art, fucking amazing, would play, would watch, would let axe dady shoot things

next up is deepai's Machine Learning Model doesn’t seem to have any parameters, just put in a text box and go, so i did

thanks i've been wondering how it would be possible to turn megaman into a horror icon i didn't think hollowing his face out and replacing it with a fucking skull would be the answer but this is a pretty handy way to ensure my insomnia persists through the night

0/10 i

fucking

hate it

hastily getting the fuck away from that abomination unto both god and man, next up is dream.ai it seems to be a service mostly for developing and providing NFTs, but it's actually completely free with a little finagling so i don’t get where the value is supposed to come from

anyway, there's a lot of different options to provide a customized art style for the prompt, and you can even see it with different things it's got a lot of options too many to safely delve into, in fact, so i'm going to do the game journalist thing and generate maybe a handful of things and judge it entirely off that

first off is a comic art style generated without a seed

and at first glance this looks partially like the megaman 1 box art characters decided to pvp with each other at second glance as you look closer, though, you can clearly tell it's an i don't know what the fuck

4/10 colors look cool at least

maybe weird shit is the best part of it, though maybe weird shit is what it specializes in so let's try psychadelic

well, that's psychadelic all right i guess the dude in the middle is kind of sort of vaguely megaman but i don't know what the fuck else there is, there's actually less sensible shit going on here

2/10 i like listening to shpongle too, dude

but it's safe to say this system needs a bit of help let's go back to comic style and feed in some nice art from existing megaman

in my opinion, this poster is the peak megaman experience. it’s the quintessential representation. this pretty clearly dictates what megaman's about guy in blue shooting things robots getting shot at ominous shitbag in the background castlevania for some reason

favorite promo art, hands down. so let’s see how the AI works with this.

all right, finally, we're getting somewhere. guess this AI just needed to copy from someone else’s homework first. wow, that brings up a lot of questions about the nature of the materials AI art generators use to build their random images. well, that’s goddamn horrifying to contemplate. am i a monster unwittingly contributing to a system of artistic exploitation for the sake of making a shitpost on a megaman shitpost blog? fucked up.

anyway, we got a robot dude, he's got a gun, he's even got a little strut i like this guy a lot, he's got moxie and a rad face-visor thing

all right, i'm feeling generous 6/10 you fucked up but now you're getting better

let's go once more for comic style and

all right, holy shit, you're learning fast yeah this is undeniably megaman he's even got the weird helmet and weird boots and everything

there's a cool cityscape, a sci-fi sky, and he's trying to give the underside of a ship the highest of fives he doesn't look like he's standing very well on his taco bowl of destiny, though but i can't fault him with his dildo leg, must be difficult to stand on and judging by his pants, he's got trouble with testicles the size of texas growing in after kicking wily's ass 69 times understandable problem, really, after you go through 10 games that’s when you turn from a mega boy to a real mega man

9/10, good box art

you know, i'm feeling confident, i think dream's got a good idea as to what's going on with megaman let's take a risk and go for a different art style synthwave looks good, it's all about that retro shit and megaman's a retro series

this doesn't look like a new picture that just looks like you took the original picture and put a shitty smear on it

god fucking damn it

0/10, apply yourself, pick up a goddamn pencil and then see me after class

getting away from that, next up is stable diffusion, apparently a state-of-the-art AI generator hosted by Hugging Face, which i hope is a legitimate company and not a front for xenomorphs

and HOLY SHIT

on the first go we have some actual fucking box art good background, very clear, we've got a skyline with a forcefield pyramid in the background i guess wily's a space egyptian now? rad.

napalm bomb megaman's doing some fucking pelvic thrusts ready to spread war crimes all about bit distressing for our sweet friendly superhero boy but i'll admit i'd react the same way after getting a fucking napalm gun for an arm.

we've even got a rating on the bottom right, indicating that it's suitable for ages Video Game and up got a clearly-defined line for letting the publishers rub their dick all over, filling it with logos or titles or other corporate information

i feel confident about this, i like our MEAAN game, shit's looking pretty good

10/10, good box art. real good box art. little timmy would probably be confused seeing it on the shelf but this strikes me as something Bob Capcom would reasonably okay after five lagers and an existential crisis.

getting a little concerned here, looks like crisis on infinite megamans

i don’t want to imagine how many official variants of rock there are, especially if you count all the fangame/indie game knockoffs, but having them all collide together into a single Enter the Megaverse sounds like it'd be effectively impossible to handle do you want to play megaman, megaman x, megaman volnutt, megaman.exe, star force, zx, x over flavored? dos-flavored? bad box art flavored? captain n flavored? pachinko-flavored?

NGL though if rockman taisen ends up being some sort of dumb megaman battle royale then i would actually punch a cactus out to be able to play as ruby spears megaman frankly, huge missed opportunity that they're not even in X Dive the tagline even writes itself, "I knew you'd pull for Mr. Lincoln!"

oh yeah i was rating the cover uhhhhhhhh i dunno, there's dudes i don't know, they're doing poses, ominous guy in the background i guess it's serviceable? this doesn’t really tell me anything about the game, there’s just guys.

6/10 i'd pass it over and look at something else

holy shit are you okay? either he's (she's? they're?) taking a dump and all their lower intestines got caught in it, or something is burning out in the thinkpan and won’t be coming back

that dead-eyed glare is actually legitimately haunting this is the expression someone makes in anime after they realize you stabbed them and you were never their friend i've only seen that gaze in my life twice before and let me tell you, you remember things

1/10 someone call the police

all right, i’m moving away from that before i bring up more questionable ground our final contestant for the night is hotpot.ai, a website for general purpose game asset AI generation. they’ve got AI-handled copywrite, too, which strikes me as risky ground. if i can’t trust a machine with megaman, can i trust a machine to legally cover my ass? i would never trust a machine with my pants, ass or no. we’ve already firmly established that robot masters are always a pants-on debacle.

anyway, let’s give this a shot

aaaaaand hit “Generate”, and

EXCU

NOPE

FUCK THIS

I’M DONE

uuu..... i tried to send an ask just now and i dont think it worked....... sorry if you get two in your inbox!!

But thank u for sharing HCs (not the original anon but just a hc enthusiast.....) i'd love to hear any more you have for Beel! Or perhaps Lord Diavolo.... he's a very fun character to me

ORRRR, perhaps, any takes on the Devildom/the realms, if youre into thinking about the worldbuilding side..... fank youuou ^_^ i give funny image in exchange

LMAO THANK U!!! I’ll take ur image and give you world building thoughts because that sparked something in my brain

Devildom headcanon talk!

Devildom is so super fun so I like to think the demons come in literally every shape and size, some don’t look human and don’t really have a human form ( more like minotaurs or some deep sea creature). Like okay Beel and Diavolo are big but there’s bigger!

There’s also demons out there that are there purely to harm and kill and there’s no school program or threats from royalty that could change them. Demons like those are like…human world cryptids, a lot of biblical sort of horror too as well.

Now that I think about it ( pretty sure this isn't canon like at all??) but the brothers def weren’t the only angels to fall and I guuuessss some of those guys could have also turned into good ol human looking demons….but I think there’s more that don’t have any ‘humanity’ in them. Not powerful enough to fully survive falling in a way... they look like, freaky as fuck HAHA

Like imagine you’re the human exchange student it’s like your 3rd night here and you look out your window and YOO!! A figure at your window, it’s got a deathly complexion but you can almost feel it’s heart beating from here and it feels like you know them and they're telling you to open the window PLEASE just open the window- they need help- the window- there’s a pounding now it’s eyes are burning into your vision-- oh omg mammons here telling you to come out and eat dinner! Stupid human!

Like I’m not good at horror or writing but you get I’m i'm 'gettin at? more brain vom under here!

So there’s creepy scary demons in devildom and also ones that are spooky but you sit next to em at lunch!! Succubus, incubus, demons of ice, demons of fire, demons with two heads, some with six arms…. Demons the size of houses and some the size of Luke.. some chick you passed in the hall looked really slimy but that could have just been a potion accident ..?? And more with specific powers and stuff!

Maybe I’m injecting a little too much silly fantasy Halloween cartoon special into this but like…is that not fun to think abt? HAHAE

I don’t think ALL these demons go to RAD so I bet Diavolo takes Mc with him on a trip outside of the city one day and is like “ we’ll have a lovely brunch outside with Hebulaie !!” Or something and Hebulaie is 20x TIMES DIAVOLOS' SIZE? LIKE NO WONDER WE’RE OUTISIDE!!

One of Beel’s fangol teammates has a cow head and another looked completely human until he turned around and had warthog tusks.

Brothers aren't exempt either! they're some of the most powerful demons out there. they can't seem human forever. Belphie gives me boogey man vibes, you see the outline of some darker figure at right outside your door in the dark ass hallway and it's like not moving at all. you can sorta make out features but its warped and too dark.... then it fuckin MOVES and u freak the hell out. Belphie snickers at you and hops in bed. ( i would maul him immediately )

When you're trying to sneak up the stairs the attic to figure out why you've been having dreams that wake you up in tears, you get a weird feeling and look down the stairs and are met with Lucifer staring right up at you and directly into your soul eheh.

One of Mammon's poker buddies has an arm made of gold, they can't move it or brake it off since it came from a curse of greed. They will tell you the whole story about how the object that cursed him RIGHTFULLY belongs to him!! you think that's why they're still cursed.

All demons have a few forms too, not just the regular human one with wings or tail! Leviathan probably has a sea serpent form bigger than Lotan...Asmo with a centipede like form,, so many hands and legs...ouhrhhggg

there’s demons but there’s also mythical fauna and flora!!! Like centaurs, fairies, jackalope…but also strange shit like a goat that can eject it’s organs out and you’re like “what’s the purpose of that” ‘n Satan tells you “ it’s carnivorous”…as if that explains anything!!?!?

The gay plant from the white day event that specifically goes after demon noses GHAHA i like to think some devildom florist is probably growing some of and advertising them as a fun prank gift...also the amount of harmful things that target or can be used to target humans that are in every day demon life... so fun!!

you know the weird scenarios that happen in adventure time? like the episode where this group of blank eyed girls scare the hell out of finn and jake and it's just really strange but ultimately harmless? stuff like that happens all the time in Devildom LMAO tons of weird unexplainable things happen and most the time it's like,,,okay going to move on with my day now i guess.

I just realized you said REALMS so i wanna add that the human realm isn't devoid of these things. as much as Dia, Barbs, and Luci may try there are alot of demonic things that live in the human realm. I believe the Sorcerers Society + witch covens are a big part of cover up and 'care'. I like to think that makes Solomon's and Mc's time up in the human realm very interesting, especially when Mc becomes his apprentice! Mc gives the brothers SO many gray hairs.

That's all i have right now, i hope that's what you were askin for? I'd love to hear yours and others HC's and input too!! i'm also a HC enthusiast

You wanted Jhin questions so I must ask; what's your favourite skin lore of his? Personally I'm a sucker for High Noon but I'm biased as someone who is actually a cowboy in real life -Sincerely, a wandering anon

OMG OKAY...okay hear me out... because it's between project and soul fighter because i think they're both fuckin RAD... THANK U KINDLY ANON!!!!

but i think project takes the cake because it's what got me really into jhin as a character since i started playing league during the 2017 project event,,, and i was like,, oh this guys pretty cool,,, and played him...

just with the knowledge that despite all of his,, personality fragmentation he still has a need for high-clearance upgrades just makes me giggle because he's so predictable LMAO. despite everything he still needs those upgrades constantly huh. just imagining him going from some random black-market guy to...well... Jhin is really funny to me because imagine how many of these botched upgrades he really has installed. yeah no wonder he ended up the way he did lmao. even in the story all he really cares about is the upgrade that vi/vayne has!!

also this is my favourite part of the story if you were curious (of course you were!) :

because he knows he was once a man, simple and human, but he also most likely knows he lost himself a long long time ago and there wont be any coming back from anything hes done hes so chill with it all i wish i was as chill as him omg... also he just looks neat...

especially his icon it looks very silly and cool

awww look at him,, what a guy... i want his jacket. it's probably about the only thing human left of him (that's assuming it was his in the first place and he didn't like...steal it from someone he killed lmao)

ALSO I REALLY LOVED THE EVENT THEY PUT OUT. THAT SHIT WAS SO FUN!!!!!! HELL YEAH!!!!!! Thanks to riot games for fueling my special interest since 2017 love u guys...

tl;dr: project jhin my favourite lore skin & i like him a lot!! your honor he is just a silly guy

i am absolutely going feral over these jhin questions please keep 'em coming... >:))

Left Me Like Summer Part II

Warnings:  18+ ONLY! explicit sexual content, oral sex (female receiving), smutty dirty sex, coarse language, a lot of angst, a lil fluff, mentions of alcohol, drug use.

Word Count: 8,000

If you haven't read Part I of this story, go check it out here :)

Summary: “I catch my mind wandering as he works on my knee; his face soft in the light of the flashlight. I’m not sure if it's the leftover effects of the mushrooms, the beer, or the flood of emotions I've been battling this weekend, but at this moment, I’m noticing things I haven't before. Like the crease in the tip of his nose. The length of his eyelashes as they swish up and down when he blinks. The hair in between his eyebrows that don’t quite meet but bunch together in concentration as he takes my left hand in his to inspect it for scrapes and dirt. I notice the sharp peaks in the cupid’s bow of his top lip and how plump and soft his lower one is."

Things with Jake have been rocky for a while now, but what’s to come isn’t even the half of it. aka “A How-To-Guide on The Best Worst Camping Trip of All Time” 

Authors Note: This is the second part of a three (?) part series we are working on for Jake and Sam. Let us know if you’re into it and what you think will happen next!

Sorry it took us a minute to post, we've really put our blood, sweat and tears into this story line and we hope you guys like it!

Y’all are so fuckin rad for following and leaving notes. 

Requests are open :) 

Join our tag list ✨

“Since when does having the slimmest hips in the car mean I have to take the hump seat? Poppy should have to sit back here, she’s tinier than all of us.” Sam whines from beside me. 

“Samuel, if I have to hear your voice one more time, I swear to God I will swerve into oncoming traffic.” Josh scolds, squinting a glare into the backseat through the rear view mirror. His hand goes to rest on the headrest of the passenger seat where his girlfriend’s head is tipped back, eyes closed, trying her very best not to vomit. “Just ignore the pest in the backseat Pops, he has no manners. We think he was raised by wolves.” 

Josh’s girlfriend, or ‘Poppy’ as we all know her, is the kind of partner you want your friend to have because they’re madly and deeply in love. (Josh introduced us to her as ‘Poppy’ because of the tattoo she has of her August birth month flower- and to tell you the complete truth, I couldn’t tell you her given name if you paid me). She also happens to be the kind of girlfriend you want your friend to break up with because she’s completely and wholeheartedly insufferable most of the time. But, I digress. She did plan this whole weekend and honestly does have the purest of intentions. 

It’s been two hours. Two hours into a five hour drive. Between Sam pissing his siblings off with his constant griping over seemingly everything, Poppy’s car sickness, and my anxiety ridden, borderline panic induced state, you could safely say we’ve all had better road trip experiences. I just thank whatever god will listen that Jake is in Danny’s truck. Sam, I can deal with. Sam, I’ve been dealing with even longer than Jake. I met Jake through Sam, in fact. 

“It’s not my fault Ronnie has the pointiest elbows known to man.” He mumbles low enough that only Ronnie and I can hear. 

“Maybe if you kept your knees on your section of the seat, I wouldn’t have to fucking fight for my life for some personal space over here.” Ronnie bites back, tiredly. 

“I’ve got long legs, Ron. I don't know where exactly you want me to put them.” He complains, yet again. 

Feeling like I’m one bicker away from punching the back window out and flinging myself onto the highway, I offer up a solution. “Here, Bambi.” I motion towards Sam’s legs, inviting him to drape them in my lap.

“Ahhh” He lets out a comfortable sigh, stretching himself out with his back to Ronnie’s shoulder. “Much better.” He smiles at me, reaching out to pat my head like a dog. I dodge his hand and slap it away. 

“Don’t push your luck.” I warn. Things settle down in the car after that and I finally let my head loll against the window. The last thing I hear before I nod off to sleep is Josh singing softly along to The Lumineers from the front seat. 

__________

“We’re here, pumpkin” I hear Sam croon softly as feel a finger poke into my cheek. I open my eyes and groan uncomfortably as I stretch the kinks out of my neck. As soon as I open the car door I'm immediately relieved. Nature has always been a solace for me. The smell of fresh air, the quiet restlessness of the woods, the sun peeking in through the leaves of the trees, shedding warmth and light on my skin. 

I step out of the car and close my eyes, tilting my head back to get a full deep breath in. Trying to focus my energy on the birds I hear chirping and the water I hear babbling, I barely notice the camp starting to get set up around me. I consider truly making the most of this moment or even sneaking away to take a walk and clear my head but I know I’m just procrastinating the inevitable. 

I try my best to help Ronnie stake our tent into the ground. We have three of them to set up. Josh and Poppy have their own. Jake and I were supposed to have our own as well, but given that our relationship recently imploded, we decided to break things up and have the rest of the boys in one tent, and the girls in another. At least I’ll have a separate tent with Ronnie to be able to decompress if things get to be too much. 

“My tent looks better than yours”, Sam taunts, interrupting my thoughts, sticking his tongue out at me. Mere seconds later, before I even have a chance to respond, the wind picks up and his rain tarp goes flying. 

“Hey, MacGyver, look alive” I point as it begins to blow into the woods between the trees. 

“Shit!” He takes off running after it. Taking pity on him, I start to help him chase after it. I swear to God I almost give up as we run further and further back into the woods, tripping on tree roots, getting eaten alive by mosquitos, but the tarp finally catches on a broken tree branch. 

“Oh thank god!” Sam yells out, grabbing the tarp and barking out a bellied laugh. I laugh along with him as I double over, hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. I feel comfortable with Sam. He’s a safe person for me. Unfortunately all of the Kiszkas are, or, were. As safe as he feels, Sam and I have always had some kind of tension between us. I can never quite put my finger on what it is exactly–or maybe I would rather just not acknowledge it for the sake of our friendship. Sam finally breaks the silence in our gasps for air.

“So, how are you holding up? Like actually.” I panic immediately, the oxygen rushing to my brain from The Great Tarp Chase of 2022 has really proven to distract me from my own rambling thoughts but he’s snapped me right back into the present with one question. I don’t want to unload all of this on him and the way he’s looking at me makes me feel weak and pitiful. (Whether or not I am is not the point).

“I’ve been better. I’ve been worse.” I lie through my teeth, turning on my heel and heading back toward our campsite. He follows suit, striding beside me. He nods his head and gives me a weak smile. He knows I'm lying but I’m grateful he leaves it at that. Catching me completely off guard, he wraps his arm over my shoulder and pulls me in for a classic Sam bear-hug. “Thanks, Sammy.” I utter, the words muffled into the fleece of his pullover. Breaching past the point of the tree line, we see Danny’s truck pulled up next to Josh’s Jeep. Oh good. Just when I thought my anxiety couldn’t get any higher. 

“Savannah!” Sam yells out in excitement. I didn’t even think it was humanly possible for my head to swivel in the speed and angle it does because who in the fuck is Savannah? It feels like a scene out of a movie as I see a set of long, sleek, tanned legs materialize from the back seat, followed by a luscious head of perfectly shiny, honey toned hair being tossed from one shoulder to the other. 

Oh. That Savannah. 

“You’ve met Sav before, right?” Josh asks only to me, putting down the camping chair he was holding. 

“Um, actually no, I haven’t.” I try to play it cool. Try to act aloof but my blood pressure is absolutely through the roof and I feel like I’m going to pass out. 

“Sav is a close family friend of ours, we’ve known her for years. I can’t believe you guys have never met! Jake never mentioned her?” He asks. I force a smile and shake my head ‘no.’ “Poppy invited her after you and Jake ended things… we knew you were on the fence about coming.” I know he’s reading my body language and can tell I'm trying to keep it cool. He throws an arm around my shoulder and tugs me into his side. “Play nice, mama. And don't stress about it. You’re going to get wrinkles before you’re thirty.” 

“Hmph” I grumble. He pecks a platonic kiss to the top of my head, comfortingly and walks over to Poppy and Savannah.  

See, I’m not lying but I’m not being completely truthful either. I know who Savannah is. Her name has come up in conversations at family gatherings and I’ve seen her in pictures from Kiszka family vacations but I’ve never met her in person. In fact I remember a very specific argument Jake and I had a few months ago around why I’d never met the girl his mother claims is ‘like one of her own.’

I instantly have my guard up. Savannah doesn’t acknowledge my presence, instead catching Poppy in a hug; squealing out a hello. “Thanks for inviting me, Pops!” she says. Finally mustering up the courage to pry my eyes off of her, I look over to Jake who is walking towards me. 

“Hello, lo–”, Jake stops himself, “Uh, hey, glad to see you made it safely” He finishes. I feel my heart crack painfully. 

“Hey, yeah, you too…” I reply weakly. He wanders off, grabbing his bag to toss into his tent with Danny and Sam. Meanwhile, Ronnie shows Sav to my tent, making herself cozy instantly. 

“Haven't you heard that if you keep your face all scrunched up, it’ll get stuck like that?” I hear Sam’s voice in my ear. I didn’t even realize how furrowed my eyebrows were and how intense my stare was until his words hurled me back to reality. I relax my face immediately, closing my eyes. 

“I need a minute.” I breathe as I quickly and quietly shuffle down the path toward the creek.  

__________

“Shit, we really need more firewood.” Danny states from his camping chair. He’s been doing his very best to keep the dwindling flames alive. 

“Nose goes!” Sam shouts and instantly everyone touches their finger to their nose. 

Josh being the slowest to play along moseys back into the forest to fetch more wood. 

“Josh! Wait for me!” Poppy yells out, Josh gladly stops dead in his tracks and waits for her, turning around to smile, reaching his hand out to take hers. 

“If I were to light this joint… would anyone want to partake?” Sam asks, leaving half a grin on his face. 

“Dumb question, Sam. I call fresh greens!” Ronnie says, leaping over the pitiful smoking embers of what’s left of the fire to grab the joint from Sam’s fingers. 

“Next dibs!” I say, Jake huffing out a questionable groan from across the firepit. 

I am praying to whatever god is out there that this changes the tone for the night. We all pass the joint around, of course following the “puff-puff-pass” rule. 

By the cough Sav lets out, I'm going to assume this is her first time smoking. Odd, considering the group of people she’s so close with. 

“Now, everyone say ‘Thank you, Poppy’” Poppy sings, emerging from the treeline, hands full of kindling while Josh follows behind her, balancing full logs in his arms. 

“Thank you Poppy” We chorus back to her. As Sam stokes the fire, Josh and Poppy pour themselves drinks and we all gather around the flames, Danny pulling out his guitar, persuading us to start chanting our favorite songs. My mood has improved significantly from this morning and everyone else seems to be having a good time, too. 

As I go to grab a beer, I see Sav walk over to Danny’s truck, “Hey, Dan! Toss me your keys!” He hurls them over to her and she catches them in both hands. A beeping sound comes from the distance as the trunk opens and we see her rummaging around for something. I see a tiny glimmer of light flicker before I hear Savannah start to sing, “Happy birthday to you” the rest of the group follows suit and joins in. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear twins, happy birthday to you!” Walking towards the boys, she places a cupcake in each of their hands before settling back into her seat, a little too close to Jake. She pats his back, “Now make a wish birthday boy” Their birthday isn’t even until tomorrow…

I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from the candle on his stupid cupcake as I spiral. I should be sitting next to him. I should be whispering a wish into his ear, promising to fulfill it after we tuck into our sleeping bags. I should be wearing his warm socks because I forgot mine. Sharing the flashlight on his phone while we brush our teeth in the dark. Reminding him to take a tylenol before bed because he’s been drinking and to make sure he gets a good night's sleep because we have a big day tomorrow. I should be there laying beside him on his birthday morning and kissing him awake. 

When I finally drag my eyes up to his, he’s already looking at me from across the fire. Responding to Savannah’s nudge for him to make a wish, he says “Oh, I have.” He lifts his cupcake in the air toward Josh and they blow their candles out in sync as we all cheer. I Immediately break his gaze and scoot closer to the fire as it starts getting a bit colder outside. To be fair, I think it's been cold, but we’ve all been a bit too intoxicated to really notice. 

“It’s getting a bit chilly out here,” Sav says, rubbing her arms with her palms trying to create friction. 

Without even blinking, Jake quickly starts slipping off his flannel and hands it to her. Fuck. It’s getting harder and harder to convince myself that Jake is just being the sweet, generous friend he is and not anything more. I see Sam visibly wince from beside me and I feel him reach over and firmly squeezes my knee. Sam has always seemed to know exactly what to say and when to say it –even if he isn't using words. 

Allow me to interject and say that this is not a love story; don’t get it twisted. I’ve never thought of Sam as anything more than a damn good friend and my boyfriend's brother. I can’t say the same thing for him, though. Jake drunkenly let it slip to me, ages ago, not even a month into dating, that Sam had a huge crush on me. Jake and I both vowed to forget about it despite knowing that Sam is just shameless enough to admit it outright, if given the opportunity.  

Feeling like it’s time to start winding down for the night, I walk over to the cooler to grab some water. I need to take a few deep breaths and suppress the primal urge I feel to rip Sav–and Jake– a new one. Josh follows me, so I reach in and pull out a bottle for him too.

“Should've known you’d be the first to quit tonight, grandma.” He teases. I’m notoriously the first to fall asleep or call it a night when we’re all together. 

I chuckle, the water in my mouth nearly dribbling out onto my shirt. “What can I say, sleep is my first love.

“Speaking of love-” Josh starts 

“Josh, you don’t have to-” I interject.

“I just wanted to reassure you that Sav is a close friend. But that’s all she is. A friend.” Josh smiles warmly. 

“Yeah, you guys keep saying that…” I feel that pit in my stomach again as Josh gives me a pity smirk in return. 

“Alright guys, I think I’m off to bed. I’m gonna need my sleep if we plan on hiking tomorrow” I announce to the group. I go around the fire giving everyone a hug goodnight, accepting their ribbing and teasing over going to bed ‘so early’. 

Trying to be nice, I include both Jake and Sav a weak hug. “Ronnie and I will try to be quiet when coming to bed later!” Sav offers. I shuffle my way back to the tent, crawling into my mattress made of nothing but blankets. The mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion of the day catches up to me immediately and the second my head hits the pillow, I’m out cold. 

—------------------

I wake up to the maddening sound of someone scratching on the outside of my tent. My eyes fly open, completely confused about what time it is, what day it is- even unsure of the year. Yesterday exhausted me. I don't even remember hearing Sav or Ronnie come to bed. I’m about to roll over and go back to sleep until I see a tall shadow moving around outside the tent. Pulling the covers over my head, begging for just a few more minutes alone, I try to pretend I’m asleep. 

I hear the tent slowly unzip. Please just go away. I pray silently, but I realize God hates me as I feel someone grab my big toe and squeeze. Sam. “Jeez, Pumpkin, are you gonna wake up anytime soon?” He teases, stumbling into the tent and crawling into my makeshift bed. He lays on his side, body right up against mine, head propped in his hand. Absolutely zero boundaries or personal space with Sam and that's just something you learn to accept about him after knowing him for years. 

“Where is everyone?” I ask, poking my head out from the covers once I realize it’s just the two of us in here. I keep the blanket over my mouth because I can taste my horrendous morning breath. 

“Well, we figured we’d let you sleep for as long as you needed, but, breakfast is almost ready.” He explains, eyes meeting mine. 

“I’m fasting today.” I lie. “Gonna do some soul searching and meditate in here.”

“Bullshit.” He calls me out, finally pulling the blanket from over my mouth. “You’re being a pussy because it’s Birthday Day.” 

I gasp; a mock horrified expression on my face. “I resent that, Samuel.”

“Resent it all you want, Pumpkin, you’re gonna have to face the music at some point today.” He rolls so that he's flat on his back next to me. It’s silent for a moment, both of us just staring up through the mesh window in the ceiling of the tent. 

“Sam?” I ask. He hums out an acknowledgement. “I am a pussy.” I confess. It’s quiet for another beat. 

“I disagree.” He finally says. “I think it’s pretty brave of you to come anyway. For Josh. And for the rest of us. Despite. Ya know...” 

“Yeah. I know.” I reply, rolling my head to the side to watch him. “Thanks.” His head rolls toward mine and his lips quirk up into a smile. 

“Alright!” He claps. “As they say, ‘wakey wakey, eggs and bakey’!” He jolts upright and shuffles to his feet, crouching in the small space. 

“Literally, no one says that Sam.” I groan, trying to find the will power to move my body. 

He turns to me once more after stepping out onto the dewey grass.“And if nothing else gets you up, maybe brushing your teeth will ‘cause your breath smells like ass.” I throw a pillow at him, shy by about two feet. “Come on! You’ve gotta come see this fancy stove that Danny has” 

“Trust me, I know all about that fucking stove”, I mutter under my breath as Sam walks out toward the picnic table. 

I give myself one more minute to prepare myself for the day. It’s a new day. It’s Jake's birthday. C’mon baby, let’s just keep things light and fun today. I hype myself up enough to throw my shoes and beanie on and stumble out of the tent. 

Immediately, I'm regretting waking up in the first place, coming on this trip, being born, all of it. The first thing I see is Jake sitting on the ground in front of Sav’s chair, her fingers crafting a braid into his hair. He looks completely blissed out. He loves getting his hair played with. Eyes closed. Smile on his face. I know that look. My fingers used to be the reason behind that look. 

“Oh shit, I don’t have an extra hair tie… Ronnie, do you have one you could spare?” Sav questions, locking eyes with me instantly. A flicker of panic washes over her features but she masks it with a feeble smile.  

“Actually, I have one right here”, Jake quickly interjects. I watch him slip the hair tie off of his wrist. It’s my fucking hair tie. He must still have it from the last time I braided his hair for him. I know it’s mine because I specifically have to buy ones for thick hair. They’re wider in size and flat. I walk over to the picnic table, taking a seat next to Ronnie. “Oh, I didn’t realize you were up yet”, Jake panics as soon as he opens his eyes and sees me.

“Yep, happy birthday boys”, I say cheerfully, remembering the pep talk I gave myself this morning. The tension in this open space is palpable. 

“Pancakes?” Danny asks the group and we all grab our plates. 

Jake is relatively hard to read, he’s shy and generally beats around the bush. But I know him. I know his expressions, mannerisms, body language, thought processes and behavior patterns and at this point, I think it’s clear that he’s moving on. So, I’m going to try my best to accept that for today. One day at a time. We can hash the rest out at a later time. We don’t need to do it here surrounded by all of our friends–and family. 

“Check out the stove! You guys picked out just the perfect one” Danny credits us. I look over to Jake who’s already looking at me. I can’t help but chuckle out a laugh. I don’t think I have ever seen someone so giddy over a damn stove. Jake returns my smile and laughs along, looking down at his shoes. 

—------------------

After cleaning up from breakfast, we get ready for the big birthday hike. Josh has not stopped talking about this hike since the day he and Poppy started planning this trip, months ago. This ought to be interesting. Josh, Lord help him, is arguably one of the worst people in the world to hike with. The man can turn a two-hour long hike into a six-hour long journey. Constantly stopping at every peak, landmark, field of flowers, even the gravel pits, for Christ’s sake. I’m all for taking in the beauty surrounding you, but even I have my limits. Let’s just get this show on the road, it was after all, the twins' one birthday request.

“Daniel, my good man, please bring forth the magic fungus for our trip into Mother Nature’s bosom.” Josh bellows, emerging from his tent. Danny smiles, pulling a baggie of mushrooms out of his backpack, shaking it with the biggest grin on his face.

“Fuck yeah!” Sam cheers as we all gather around, waiting like baby birds with our hands out for Danny to give us each our share.  

“Bajabule!” Josh chants out, tossing back his little handful.

‘Fuck it’ I mumble to Ronnie, hooking her arm in mine as we place the mushrooms on our tongues. 

“Jesus” Poppy scrunches up her face “I will never get used to that.” She gags. Josh bellows out a cackling laugh, pulling her in for a sloppy, smacking kiss. 

“Onward, brethren!” Josh exclaims, outstretching his hand toward the mouth of the trail. We all follow suit behind him. This should be interesting. Without tripping, a 2 hour hike with the Kiszka family takes upwards of 5 hours, so I’m anticipating this to be a whole day event. We walk for about half an hour or so before the water in the creek starts to look like glitter and the highlights in Danny’s hair start to glow. 

We make a pit stop in a flower field–courtesy of Josh–so we can eat the sandwiches that we brought along for lunch. By this hour, the bread is soggy, the deli meat is freakishly warm, and the lettuce is wilted. But, on the brightside… I’m too inebriated to really give a shit. 

“I wish we would have packed anything, but sandwiches”, Jake says, as he chokes down another bite. Everyone giggling in harmony. 

“Yeah, honestly… Who’s fucking idea was this?” Danny asks. 

“It was Josh’s idea, I wanted charcuterie, but the birthday boy haaaad to have sandwiches”, Ronnie says, nudging Josh’s arm, making sure he knows that she’s playing around. 

After we finish up lunch, we head back onto the trail. Josh acting as our tour guide, pointing out different flowers and moss patterns and birds. He makes us stop a few times to instruct us to: “Just close your eyes and breathe. What is the wind telling you?” He asks. What a loaded fucking question for eight people high off their asses on psychadelic mushrooms. It’s the middle of the afternoon so the sun is high in the sky, beating down ruthlessly on us as we break out of the trees and into the open air. 

“Josh, can you carry me?” Poppy whines, dragging her feet. 

“We’re almost to the river, lover– then we can take a break.” He presses a kiss to her cheek. One by one we all start to strip layers of clothing. Sam’s shirt is gone instantly, Josh’s scarf is now around his head, keeping his hair off of his forehead. Jake’s flannel is tied around his waist and I’m down to my sports bra and bike shorts. “See, there it is.” He points toward the water. 

With a squeal of excitement, Ronnie takes off running first and we all follow suit, shedding clothing as we go. The second my feet splash into the water, I feel euphoric. I look down and watch as the water ebbs and flows around my ankles, licking up my legs gloriously. I imagine the minnows in the river stopping by to kiss my toes and suddenly there they are. Dozens of them. Some whisper ‘hello’s to me. I’m completely lost in my hallucination when I feel a cold splash of water rain down on me. I squeal as I’m pulled back into real life. Sam watching me, waiting for me to retaliate. I rush forward, splashing him back as he runs through the waist deep water until he’s swimming away from me. Trying to catch up with him to properly get him back, I slip on a slimy, algae covered rock, sending me plummeting into the water. 

The pressure of the water around me is comforting, like a weighted blanket. I feel myself longing to slip lower and lower as the water gets colder, the further I fall. Before I can truly appreciate the weightless feeling of sinking deeper, I feel arms around me, pulling me up through the water. I gasp and inhale dramatically as soon as my head breaches the surface. When I open my eyes, it’s Jake whose arms are around me. I cough and sputter water out through my nose and mouth.

“Jesus, what are you doing? You scared the shit out of me.” He states, slight panic in his tone and features. I’m still huffing in and out, trying to fill my lungs with oxygen. 

“Sorry, sorry” I say, my head feeling light from the effects of the psilocybin in my system. My hands are still clutching his biceps and his are around my waist, supporting primarily all of my weight. To my left I see that our friends have all drifted much further away from me than I realized. “I got lost in the feeling.” I explain. My heart clenches in my chest as his eyes sweep over my face, trying to read me. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. I’m about to reassure him that yes, I’m fine– just swallowed a little too much river water when I decide that I’m not quite sure he was referring to the water at all. 

“Um.” I hesitate. His grip on me loosens a bit and he settles me back on the riverbed, stabilizing me before letting go. “Yes.” I finally respond, head clearing a bit now that we’re not so close. “I’m fine, I might've acquired a rare parasite from drinking too much river water, but I’ll live.” His expression softens at that and I even see a glimmer of a smile. 

“Well then come on, no more water for you.” He scolds, playfully. “You can’t be trusted.”  He gestures for me to accompany him back to the shore, everyone else seeing us and following along to start the trek back to the campsite. 

—--------------

After a solid seven hour hike, we finally make it back to camp, everyone winding down and getting ready to make dinner and gather around the fire for the night. As if we haven’t had an eventful day already, Poppy starts passing out beers to everyone. The annual birthday shotgun; lovely. 

“Cheers to a fantastic weekend!” Ronnie shouts, all of us raising our cans in the air, taking a knee and chugging the beer. 

“Jake, will you make me a s’more?” Sav asks, puppy dog eyes on full display. “Gonna need a fire first, love.” He teases back. Before he can even say it, everyone touches their finger to their nose. “Sam, you’re up.” Jake calls. Sam whips his head around from where he was–distracted, and quickly trying to change the subject so he’s not the one stuck rummaging around in the forest for wood.

“Who wants a shot?! Shots anyone?!” Sam asks, making a desperate attempt to change the subject.

“I’d love one– you got tequila?” Sav asks, practically leaping from her seat. 

“Yeah, I’ll take one too”, I say. I can feel Jake’s eyes darting towards me. He knows I hate taking shots of anything, unless I'm desperate for an escape from reality.

“Okay, yeah, I guess we’re all taking shots then…” Jake huffs out, sounding a tad concerned, his hand running through his hair like it always does when he gets uncomfortable.

“Yeah, yeah… let’s have a couple more shots, and thennnn Sam will go get firewood”, Ronnie says, letting Sam know he is not off the hook. 

“Alright fine, but I need someone to come with me and hold the flashlight.”

—--------------

“Sam, you have to point the flashlight where we’re walking, I can’t see shit.” I chide, laughing as I hear him curse, stumbling over a tree stump. We’ve been looking for dry wood for what feels like forever, but I’m sure it’s only been about 5 minutes. 

“Sorry, I can’t focus, I think the shrooms are still fucking with my head.” He laughs back. 

“Clearly” I shoot back. 

“Oh, coming from you!” He heckles. “10 bucks says you couldn't even tie your shoe right now after the four beers you shot gunned back there.” 

“Okay, okay you’ve got a point.” I laugh, knowing he’s right. We’re both fucked up and probably the last two they should’ve sent out on this mission. Trying to walk and laugh proves to be too much of an obstacle and I feel my foot hook on a tree root--sending me flying forward on my hands and knees.

“Oh, fuck!” Sam cries out, still laughing. “Are you okay?” He kneels next to me, reaching for my bicep to help me up.

“Flashlight. That was your job, Samuel. The flashlight.” I reprimand as I let him help me to my feet. 

“Shit, you’re bleeding.” His tone softens a bit. “Here, come here.” He takes my hand, guiding me to sit on a giant rock a few feet away. He kneels in front of me, taking my calf in his hand. He hands me the flashlight-- “here, your turn” and with the tip of his finger, he prods the scrape on my knee.”

“Ouch, you fuck!” I shove his shoulder, causing him to fall back on his ass, laughing. 

“Sorry, sorry, I’m trying to help.” He apologizes. “Here. Just needs to be cleaned up a bit.” He takes my calf in his hand again and analyzes the mark. He makes a guttural sound, signifying he’s about to spit on my knee. My hand flies to cover his mouth immediately.

“Don’t you dare!” I shriek, biting back a laugh. 

“I’m joking, I’m joking!” He protests even though I’m 110% positive he was not, in fact, joking. I thank God that we’re right next to the creek bank as he pulls his shirt off and dips the corner of it into the water. 

“Innovative” I praise as he gently dabs the cut on my knee. “If I didn’t know better, I’d assume this was all just a ploy for you to take your shirt off.”

His smirk widens, but his eyes stay focused on my leg as he says, “If this were about getting our clothes off, I’d have made sure you fell on your ass.” My heart skips a beat and it's unfamiliar; this feeling. It’s been weeks, an entire month and two weeks to be exact since I’ve had any physical attention and my body is reacting on primal instinct. 

I catch my mind wandering as he works on my knee; his face soft in the light of the flashlight. I’m not sure if it's the leftover effects of the mushrooms, the beer, or the flood of emotions I've been battling this weekend, but at this moment, I’m noticing things I haven't before. Like the crease in the tip of his nose. The length of his eyelashes as they swish up and down when he blinks. The hair in between his eyebrows that don’t quite meet but bunch together in concentration as he takes my left hand in his to inspect it for scrapes and dirt. I notice the sharp peaks in the cupid’s bow of his top lip and how plump and soft his lower one is. 

Getting lost in his features, I find myself reaching out to brush the loose hair that’s fallen into his face behind his ear. So quietly, I’m sure I could be mishearing, a low hum escapes his throat in approval. Chasing that approval further, I move the same hand from behind his ear up into his hair, scratching at his scalp gently with my blunt fingernails. The hum that comes out next is louder this time, unmistakable as his eyes flutter closed. 

“Sammy,” I begin. 

“Hmm?” His eyes open again, slowly, finally meeting mine. 

“Wanna hear a secret?” I ask, tugging my fingers from his scalp and brushing them through the strands on my way down to his shoulder. 

“I love secrets.” He smiles, shifting on his knees until his face is only about a foot from mine. 

I smile back at his eagerness, cupping my hand and bringing my lips close to his ear, I whisper, “I heard you used to have a crush on me.” His hands move to rest on my thighs as he draws back to look at my face.

“Is that so?” He asks. I nod back, confirming. “Didn’t know that was a secret.” His head cocking to the side. 

My eyebrows raise in surprise. “Really? Well it was news to me.” 

“What’s with all this past tense verbiage, here?” He asks, his fingers tightening playfully on my thighs. “‘Used to have a crush’, ‘it was a surprise’.” I feel the blood rush to my cheeks, the blush ruining my cover instantly. 

“What are you trying to say, Sammy?” I dare to prod, teasing lightly but there’s a bite to my tone. It’s not until his nose is nearly brushing mine that I realize we’ve been slowly inching magnetically closer to one another. “Sam?” I whisper, so close now that I feel the strands of his hair tickling my cheek. His eyes flicker from my lips back up to my eyes and I can taste his warm breath on my tongue. 

My mouth is watering in anticipation and my heart is pounding. I'm certain he can hear it. The birds in the trees can probably hear it. I feel his lower lip graze mine and we both flinch as if we’ve been electrocuted. He whispers my name into my mouth and I inhale it like a vapor. A beat passes where we just exchange shaky breaths, our lips brushing every so often, his hands moving up my thighs, grasping my hips, fists clenching the denim of my shorts. “Sam.” I say once again, this time more like a shallow moan.   

“Do you want to know a secret, too?” He asks, pecking a feather light kiss to my bottom lip. 

“Uh huh” I whimper pathetically. 

“I think you have a crush on me too.” He whispers. “I can feel it.” He breathes. “Right here.” His hand moves from my hip to my chest, pressing his palm over my heart. “Feels like hummingbird wings.”  

“Sam.” I blink slowly, feeling lightheaded and blinded by desire. I rest my forehead against his. My only thoughts are yes and touch me and please. 

“Tell me.” He pushes. “Tell me you want me to touch you. I need to hear you say it.”  

“I-” I swallow thickly, feeling my pulse in my temples now, face getting hotter as my fingers thread through his hair. “I want you to touch me. Please.” 

And then… 

Finally. Finally, his lips properly smash against mine. It’s messy and it’s hot and there are too many teeth involved but my body reacts instantly. He presses his naked chest to mine, wrapping his arms around me, squeezing. Our lips make a smacking sound as we part. I lean away to tug my shirt over my head and pull him back into me. As soon as our lips meet again, his hands are on my chest, tugging the cups of my bra down. His hands squeeze my breasts roughly, making me cry out. I reach behind myself and unhook the clasp, giving him full access to my chest. 

He’s gripping my hip so tightly with his left hand that I can feel his pinky ring digging into me. It feels like it’s striking right through to my bone, but I can only hope that he squeezes harder. 

“Fuck” he groans, his lips darting kisses down my neck straight to the buds of my nipples. The expletives that tumble out of my mouth would make my mother blush as he bites down and rolls the hardened nub between his teeth and tongue. “Yeah?” He asks, completely and entirely sure of himself. 

“Yeah.” I answer. With one hand gripping the life out of my hip, his other goes down to play with the torn shreds on the hem of my cut off denim shorts, teasing his fingertips up the inside of my thigh slowly. “Do it.” I encourage him. His lips pop off my breast and his eyes meet mine. 

“Do what, exactly?” He asks, his fingers brushing the skin between my core and my thigh. So close. “Tell me how you like it, baby” he brings his cheek to mine, his lips to my ear. “You want my fingers?” His lips kiss wetly down the column of my neck to my collar bone and my hips roll against the rock I’m still sitting on, trying to get some friction. His tongue swipes a hot line from my clavicle to my ear and he bites the lobe, “Or my tongue?” I can’t help the whine that squeaks past my lips. Before I can respond he says “I want to taste you. I need to know if you taste better than I imagine you do.” 

“Fuck” I whisper.

“When I’m in the shower.” He adds, his fingers slipping past the cotton of my panties and feeling me properly. “Touching myself.” He presses a kiss to my cheek. 

“Thinking about me?” I ask. Instead of answering, he curves his finger inside of me, sliding it against my walls. I gasp when he hits the spot behind my clit. 

“There she is.” He smirks. “‘Course I’m thinkin’ about you, pumpkin.” His finger starts moving relentlessly inside me. “You get me so hot.” His other hand grabs mine from where it’s tangled in the hair at the base of his neck and he brings it down to press against the bulge in his shorts. These goddamn purple short shorts… 

My hand starts moving on its own accord and I palm him, squeezing around where I feel the head of his cock. Feeling brave, I ask “this for me?” He huffs out a breath, eyes closing briefly. “Jesus, Sammy you’re so fucking pretty.” His lips press against mine once before he pulls his fingers out of me and stands up, guiding me with him. Instantly settling back onto his knees, he pulls my shorts and panties down in one swift motion. 

“Sit.” He commands. I obey, my ass pressing uncomfortably onto the rock again. “Up.” He taps his shoulders with his hands. Getting the picture, I lift my legs up and bend my knees over his shoulders. Without any other warning, he dips his tongue into my slit. 

His cold lips meet my lower half and the stubble on his upper lip causes the slightest, yet most arousing sensation to my clit. The prickle makes me squirm in the best way. I flutter my eyes open to look down at him. Both of his hands are gripping onto my hips, pulling me as close to him as humanly possible. 

“Fuck, you taste so good”, he says, briefly coming up for air and then quickly heading back down, hands reaching up to feel my chest. 

He moves his right hand away from my hip and before I can process what's about to come next, he’s pumping two fingers in and out of me. “So wet for me.” He grins cockily. I respond by arching my back, pressing myself further up into his mouth. 

“So close Sammy– just a little more” I pant out. 

“Cum for me, doll”, Sam responds, replacing his two fingers with his tongue again. Softly suckling on my clit, and before I know it, my release is washing over me but he’s not letting up. He continues to tease my entrance with his tongue and lips, making sure to brush my clit with the stubble on his upper lip. 

“I have to admit, I didn’t think you had it in you, Sammy”, I poke at him, sitting up slightly. 

“There’s a lot you don't know about me” He responds, lightly biting on my clit, hands scratching down my thighs like rakes.

“You ready for me?” he asks, wiping his mouth and popping his two fingers past his lips to taste me again. Sam stands in front of me, brushing his hair out of his face. He grabs my hands and pulls me up to him, grabbing me by the small of my back and kissing me deeply. 

“How do you want me, Sammy?” I ask. He answers by spinning me around and pinning me over the boulder, my chest flat on the smooth stone. 

I feel him bend over me, his lips coming close to my ear as he brushes the hair out of my face. “I’ll try and go easy on ya, Pumpkin”, I can hear his shorts hitting the dirt below him as he kicks them off to the side. 

He nudges my right foot with his, signaling for me to spread my legs a little wider. My fingers grip on to the edge of the boulder as I anticipate what's to come. 

Taking his cock and dragging it up and down through my folds, I finally feel him slip inside of me and fuck. He feels so good. My entire body sings out in relief as my walls contract around him instantly. I hear him trying to keep his breathing even as he stills inside me. 

“Just how I imagined it, God, you feel so fucking good”, he breathes out, starting to move a little as I get used to the size of him. 

“Okay.” I breathe once the stretch starts to make my heart pound. “Fuck me, Sam.” I beg and I’d be embarrassed about just how desperate I sound if I weren’t so completely blissed out. 

Once he starts moving, he’s going at a fast pace. I swear I can feel every nerve ending in my body and it feels like tiny fireworks being set off all at once. I could break a rib on this rock by the way he’s pounding into me and could not possibly care any less. 

“Wish I could see your face.” I breathe. “I bet you look so pretty fucking me.” I say, feeling close to climax again. Already. 

“Next time.” he responds and I can feel myself tensing around him. 

“I’m gonna…” I begin to say.

That’s when I hear it. Tree branches snapping and footsteps in the distance. Before I know it, there’s a flashlight in our faces. Still bent over this fucking rock, Sam still pounding in to me, moaning. Eyes closed, completely oblivious. 

Jake. 

I reach behind me and grab Sam’s wrist, alerting him to the presence of his brother. He opens his eyes and pulls out of me immediately, searching for his shorts. An impressive string of expletives leave his mouth. I follow his example, reaching down for my clothes and haphazardly pulling them on. 

Jake is standing before us, clapping his hands, shaking his head. 

“Wow.” He jeers. 

I feel like a deer in the headlights. What the fuck were we thinking?

“Happy birthday to me, I guess?” He snidely remarks, making a pause to collect his thoughts. “Well, Sam- got what you always wanted, I take it? How was she? Good, right?” Neither of us are able to say a word, just completely shocked and caught off guard. 

“Jake, let me explain, please-” I’m finally able to find my voice. 

“Let me guess. It’s not like that? Because from the looks of it, my little brother was just railing you from behind in the middle of the fucking woods. Try and tell me that I was seeing things; try.” I can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s both irate as well as deeply disappointed. 

“Please, just let me talk to you. Jake, can we please go somewhere to talk?” I ask. 

“Jake, I swear, we just got caught up in the moment.” Sam admits, eyes darting to me, to the ground, anywhere but Jake’s eyes. 

“No, fuck this. I’ll talk to you about this some other time. Perhaps when we all get home from this God forsaken fucking trip.” Jake says, turning on his heel and heading back toward camp. 

We follow after him, trying to get him to turn around and talk to us but he just picks up his speed. Unspokenly, we decide to give him some space. Upon reaching our camp, Jake instantly shouts, “night everyone” and storms into his tent. The group turns their heads in confusion, I don’t think they would've ever seen this one coming. 

“Wait, where’s the firewood?” Josh questions. 

“Couldn’t find any.” Sam responds curtly, opening up the back door of Josh’s Jeep to crawl into the backseat.

“Is everything okay?” Sav asks him. 

“Yeah, the tent just gets a little warm, so I’m gonna sleep here tonight”, He responds, closing the Jeep door. 

All eyes dart toward me, looking for answers. 

“Um- Okay, well…” Yeah fuck that. “See you guys in the morning.” I nearly whisper; crawling into my tent.

What the fuck just happened. 

To be continued...

Part III

Masterlist

My problem is this-

Baldurs gate 3 looks rad and I'm already in love with astarion, but I don't have the proper gaming tools (or the money tbh) to play. I WANNA KISS THE MANS AND BE A FUNKY LITTLE GUY

I literally know nothing about the plot. I like to believe I can fuck around with idk flowers and astarion? I know that's not how it works but I WISH

also from one former HL creator to the another, I totally get it. I abandoned my old blog because I wanted to cry at the mere thought of that fandom. Not because I hated it, I just...was over it? I don't know. But you're not alone is what I'm trying to say. And it gets better!

I never responded to your response about my marvolo ask lol. I wanted to thank you for being so nice to me. I was genuinely curious and was TERRIFIED it would come off as passive aggressive. So I thank you for being kind. Why am I writing this? I don't know. It's 2 am where I'm at and I just wanted to say you're awesome (even if I never interact-) and I'm HERE for your BG3 content even if I have no fucking idea what it is other than pretty man

I really hope you get to play it one day 🙂

Well you can certainly "fuck" around with Astarion as part of the story, I can tell you that haha 🤣

Yeeeah it is what it is, I was PROPER devastated when I realised my love for it had died, because it had brought me alot of happiness during a dark time, but I just didn't enjoy using those characters in content anymore, I'd fallen off the Sebastian bandwagon like 2 fuckin months ago, and was using him less and less over time, and I found myself writing Marvolo content more than I was writing HL content and people started to notice, but I carried on even though I knew I didn't fuck with HL anymore, because I was just holding onto it, and yeah the day I officially left the fandom as a creator for it was fuckin horrible, dude. I didn't know what to do with myself, but there was no way I was staying when I wasn't happy doing content, and I felt like I had to announce that too and just be totally honest with my following about my mental health, because I really be out here struggling with it, comes in waves and makes me manic, and I always NEED something to focus on and hyperfixate on because it helps me TREMENDOUSLY. I'd rather do that than go on pills that will make me an empty shell zombie of a person, and thank you.

Regarding that Marvolo ask you sent me a while back, I DID see it as passive aggressive, can't lie 🤣 but you caught me on a good day, so luckily I wasn't a c*nt to you lol, it's all good though! don't worry! I get it!! And I feel now, even more so, with me being so open about my development of him and my thoughts, people have a little bit more or an understanding of WHY I personally love him so much, and I still do, but again, that doesn't mean everyone has to, it's fine, but I'm glad he was/is appreciated by others too, that was always a bonus 💚🐍

Yeah I'm really loving BG3, so I definitely want to do more content for it, I'm just trying to be in my chill mindset currently 🙂 putting out little things when I have an idea and what not, I'm just taking my time. 😁

Thanks again for dropping in 🤍

Harsh Reality, Pt. 2

Welcome to Part 2 of "Harsh Reality." This part and the next are rather intense, so please heed the content warning (CW) below before proceeding. As always, I hope you enjoy.

CW: MC is afab, she/her pronouns used. Violence and implied violence. Profane language. Intense pursuit/chase scene with predatory/prey undertones -> frightened reader.

Themes: LuciferxMC, DiavoloxMC, hurt, violence, anger/wrath, revenge, chase/pursuit

Characters: Lucifer, MC="You", all brothers, mention Diavolo

Minors and ageless blogs DNI

18+ only

Masterlist

Enjoy~

Satan placed his chin on his hand, elbow resting on the dining room table at dinner, ignoring his plate temporarily.

"So, tell me, what filled you with that delicious, unbridled wrath today, MC? I want to hear all about what made sweet little you so mad," Satan said in his most charming voice.

"Satan," Lucifer growled.

"It's okay Lucifer," you replied. You looked at Satan and answered, "Well, I guess calling me a royal slut three times, a bitch, punching me, and throwing me into a wall would do it, Satan," you finished, counting on your fingers with each item.

"He deserved much more than he got for that much," Mammon mumbled, picking at his dinner.

Asmo piped up, "You don't think breaking his hands and ripping out his vocal chords is enough Ma-"

"Silence," Lucifer snapped.

-

"This guy is who was picking on MC? Bro, I always knew you were trash, but what the hell?" Levi said, walking up to three of his brothers after receiving Lucifer's text to meet in the Student Council Room. They were surrounding the lower demon who harassed you. Beel and Asmo were standing on either side of the demon with their arms crossed, looking rather pissed despite their usual demeanor.

"You like pickin' on humans do ya? Some nerve ya got to pick on my human," Mammon snapped, holding up the poor demon by the collar.

"Hey! I was just teasing! She took it too far and tackled me-"

Mammon punched him in the guts, hard. "Hmph, maybe ya don't got nerves, maybe you're just fuckin' stupid since you think lyin' to us is gonna work." He dropped the demon.

Lucifer, Satan, and Belphegor finally showed up, with Satan in the lead leaving a plume of green vapors in his wake.

"Give me that fucking piece of shit so I can-"

"Satan," Lucifer said in a warning tone.

"Please don't do this, man, she's the one who's lying-"

Lucifer instantly snatched up the demon by the throat, holding him against the wall. "Maybe he's right, you are stupid. You don't think I saw the bruises? She has a concussion now because of you." He then shook the demon, squeezing harder. "Answer me!"

"Please don't," he choked.

Lucifer dropped the demon, turning his back. "Oral defamation." All seven turned into their demon forms. "Assaulting another student on RAD grounds." They formed a semi-circle around the demon who quivered on the ground, with an open space between the two groups of three, so the demon could see the eldest. "Disregard for the truth and mendacious speech toward Student Council Members." Lucifer finally turned around.

"I do believe that calls for punishment," the eldest stated.

"Please don't."

"Since you like to abuse your hands and words, I think you should be relieved of the use of both," Lucifer replied with a wicked smile. "As the Adjudicator, that is my recommendation. Jury?"

"The Jury agrees," all six said.

"Executioner," Lucifer called. Satan stepped in front of the lower demon. "Try not to make a mess."

-

Satan smiled, "I'm rather proud of MC if I say so myself. I need teach you how to properly torture demons and-"

"I said silence," Lucifer barked, black vapors pluming behind him. Everyone jumped a little and finally went back to eating their food in silence, as ordered.

You frowned as you ate your dinner, and it didn't go unnoticed by Lucifer. But you kept your thoughts to yourself as Asmo and Satan started talking again, about what you didn't know. You were preoccupied with what Lucifer and Diavolo said, and then what Satan had just mentioned.

What if I learned how to fight demons? Like actually fight them? Would that be possible? I'd undoubtedly have to use magic or my pacts, I can be strong all I want, demon strength is just more powerful.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes. He knew that look, the one where your eyes kept shifting as if you were listening to two thoughts, and you chewed on your lip undecidedly.

Dinner was over and you wandered back to your room to get ready for bed, and there was a notification on your phone.

Lucifer: I need you in my room at your earliest convenience.

Lucifer: Don't make me wait.

You rolled your eyes, I'm probably going to spend the night in there, knowing him, might as well bring my stuff, you thought.

You changed into pajamas, grabbed a blanket it and wrapped it around you and over your head like a hood. Shuffling down the halls, you finally made it to Lucifer's bedroom.

Not bothering to knock, you walked right in and closed the door, locking it, and went and sat on his bed, waiting for the lecture.

"Wha- You didn't knock," Lucifer scoffed. He was standing near his fireplace, still in his daytime clothes. He couldn't help but admire how cute you looked like that.

"Knocking would mean keeping you waiting," you retorted, half-joking, half-sleepy.

"Hmph," is all he said. He walked over to stand in front of you, arms crossed.

"Well? Are you going to lecture me?" you asked sleepily.

"Who said anything about lecturing you?" Lucifer replied, slight annoyanced in his tone.

"Then why did you ask me to come? By the way just because you say, "at your earliest convenience," doesn't mean you get to say I can't make you wait because that defeats the purpose of-"

"Oh, great hell," he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I want to know what you were thinking at dinner," he confessed, glaring down at you.

"At dinner? At which time? I have a lot of thoughts," you replied.

Lucifer sighed. "Is there a special occasion in which you feel the need to be difficult with me today that I am unaware of?"

This made you stop and look away. "I'm sorry," you said quietly.

His heart instantly ached when he saw how you looked then, despondent and hurt. He dropped down to one knee in front of you and put a hand on your lap, squeezing your thigh.

"Do not tell me you're considering learning how to torture demons?"

"Not torture," you piped up, and then instantly regretting the admission. He arched a brow, waiting for you to elaborate. "Fine, I was thinking I could learn how to fight demons that would maybe help-"

"No, it won't help," Lucifer interrupted softly. "And I don't think Diavolo would be too happy to hear you tempting that idea either," he added. You pouted a tad, refusing to look your lover in his crimson eyes, but you knew he was right, your other boyfriend would be none too pleased to hear that's what your studies would then consist of.

Lucifer watched for your reaction, and knew you weren't terribly happy. He chuckled, "You know, I do wonder how hard you would've hit that demon had I given you the chance to," hoping to distract you.

"I wanted to knock his stupid teeth out," you replied, crossing your arms and turning your head away with your nose up.

Smirking, Lucifer replied, "I believe you said something about "kicking his ass into another dimension," no? Tell me, do you really have it in you?"

Keeping your head turned, you side-eyed him. He was baiting you. "I think you should know by now I would damn sure try," you said indignantly.

He let out a lower, less amused and more predatory chuckle this time. "That would be rather entertaining, I suppose. My feisty little human trying to take down a demon all by herself," he said, voice deep, letting his other hand grasp your chin to pull it towards him again.

"I'm not your feisty little human," you hissed hotly. His lids lowered into that gaze you knew all too well, that one that if you said much more, you would find yourself in a rather precarious situation.

"Ahh, but you are," his voice drawled. His lips curled into a sneer, further egging you on.

"I'd take you down," you snapped, only to realize what you said after it flew out of your mouth. Your boyfriend's eyes sparkled at that challenge, crinkling at the corners, and a broad smile crossed his lips.

"Is that right?" he said breathlessly. Your eyes went wide, breaths became fast and shallow. "What would you say to playing a little game to test you then?

"You don't scare me," you muttered, sounding very much in fact, scared and intimidated. "What... kind of game?" you asked, trying to show courage.

"It's a bit of cat and mouse, to see if you really could take me down. If you win, then I have to do whatever you say for the night, and if I win, then you do whatever I say for the night. Deal?" His grin was like the Chesire Cat.

"How do I win?"

"Whoever pins the other down for at least three seconds is the winner," he mused to you.

You mulled it over, and you couldn't help the hairs standing at the back of your neck when you looked at him, but you nodded.

"Deal."

His pupils then dilated, and he looked like he would pounce at any moment. Not so much like a cute cat with a toy, more like the combination withstanding the grace and movement of a leopard and the speed of a cheetah stalking its prey.

Fast. Precise. Lethal.

"Run," he whispered.

In that moment, the lights went out in Lucifer's bedroom, not even his fireplace was lit, no moonlight flooded into the room, and all you were left with was the glimmer of his ruby red orbs, focused entirely on yours.

You bolted to the door as hard and fast as you could, only to find it wouldn't budge. Hearing a deep, inhuman chuckle from across the room made the hairs on your neck and arms stand up again. The door would simply not open, and you wrestled with it and jostled it with all your strength.

Music started to fill the room, a cursed record you recognized that Lucifer told you about once.

-

"You see, demons often find how humans move to be thrilling, tantalizing, almost like prey. It's not so much that we want to kill them, it's more like possession. We want to have them in our grasp, to watch them squirm and writhe, and we want to manipulate them like toys, to do with as we please. This record was cursed for any demons who hear it to act on that instinct with whatever human is nearby." He chuckled at your panicked expression. "Don't look so nervous, I will wear headphones and you can listen to it for a moment."

-

Your breath hitched at that flashback, realizing what he had done. The record steadily increased in volume, and your body went cold listening to Lucifer hum to it.

This, suddenly, did not feel like a game anymore.

Finally, the door opened but you heard the steady sound of footsteps rushing toward you. Not even looking back, you ran out into the hall only to find the rest of the house was completely dark except for some of the candles lit on the hall trees and tables. Climbing down the stairs, you felt like you could just barely feel his hand touching your shoulder, but as you continued running and looked at your shoulder, nothing was there.

Even as you made it to the foyer downstairs, you could still hear the record, crystal clear, being played from upstairs. You looked at the top of the stair to see the shadowy figure of Lucifer's demon form, and vapors fuming off of him, and his glowing crimson eyes staring directly at you.

First, you thought of trying to find one of his brothers, so you ran by the living room to find it empty, then you tried the kitchen, also empty, and every other common room, there wasn't a demon to be found. The house was flooded with the record's sounds, the lull of it almost made you want to stop moving, but your rational mind told you to keep going.

Mammon, you thought. Try his room. Sprinting, now, you found his bedroom door and tried to open it. It wouldn't budge, and you knew screaming his name would only lure your stalker to you. Feeling around your pockets, you realized you probably left your D.D.D. in Lucifer's bedroom, so that was out.

Hearing footsteps approaching, you sprinted down the hallway looking for anyone who could help you. Your thoughts raced.

What is going on? Why is no one home when I just had dinner with them less than an hour ago? Is this the game? What am I going to do-

"MC" a sweet, inhumanely low voice called out to you. "Come back here." A shiver went down your back as you continued to sprint.

Your room was next on the list, so then maybe you could climb out the window and have time to run to... somewhere. You managed to slip back towards the kitchen area and go to your bedroom door, only to find it was also locked.

Not bothering to wait around, as you could hear rustling in the kitchen, you abandoned the idea in favor of trying every door you could find to hide. You knew if that your door was locked, the front door most certainly would be. Without much of a plan, you just started running to every door you could find in the house, and you remembered there was one such place with no technical door, but it was risky.

In the library, you opened and ducked into Lucifer's office, once inside you closed the secret passage again. The room was absolutely dark, but you knew your stalker was more than able to see, so you fumbled your way over and crawled underneath his desk, pulling his chair back into place, and quietly waited for the nightmare to be over, trying to slow your breathing.

Amidst the dead silence, you heard the office passage open. You froze as you listening to his feather-light footfalls, just the slightest clicks of his heels on the floor. You could hear him circle the room, as if he was looking around all the objects, then standing in front of his desk. He didn't move for several seconds, but you remained in place, trying to not sob or make any noise.

His footfalls then got further away, and you could hear the office passage open and close. After not hearing anything for a minute, you slowly pushed the chair out and came out from the desk, feeling around in the void for any sign of Lucifer. Somewhat satisfied you had avoided him, you quietly left and made your way back to his bedroom in hopes of getting your D.D.D. to get help.

Once you made it to his room, you quietly shut the door without making a single sound and locked it. It was still dark in his room, so you used your memory to slowly walk over to the bed to where you must have left your device. You felt your way around to the foot of the bed, and just when you grabbed the blanket you brought with you, still feeling around, there was a voice.

"Falling right into my trap," it said, "what a good mouse."

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Likes and reblogs appreciated.

Masterlist

Old Man Slaughter (2023..sorta) Here's the deal, I've seen it and soon you will too. From the makers of Homicide MacLeod and Homicide Never Dies comes the third epic badass part of the trilogy: it's Old man Slaughter right up in your ass. The title is actually just called Old man Slaughter so don't get that confused. Homicide McLeod's dad stars in his solo spin-off epic adventure that is just as badass and as fuckin’ weird as the original two films in every possible way. This is one bad ass rad-dad with attitude, some may say is rad dad bad attitude in fact I will actually say raddadattitude … umm whatever. Slaughters mustache might be getting gray but he's still as hard as nails and kicking as much ass all around the joint and promising everyone's going to get did, or get dead.. or whatever. Anyways stand back Shaft, stand back Jim Brown that other Slaughter, stand back Fred Williamson cause old man Slaughter is up in this joint. Now don't expect this crew to have sold out and become mainstream or even make any god damn sense. Like the previous homicide movies this exists in their bonkers world. In this film there's a fucking pilot that is a fox and I'm not sure if he's a furry or if he's just a fox man, no one seems to care, it seems to be perfectly normal for the people in this crazy world of neon slime and concrete. I mean hell, several members of this cast are in fact inflatable and everyone also seems fine with that too. A real apex predator in this film is fucking Drago from Lucha Underground, okay maybe it's not actually Drago but it basically is,  they know what they're doing. Hell the last time out they had to fuck up the djinn from Wishmaster okay maybe it wasn't really the Djinn but they knew what they were doing. Slaughter has his guns and everything else fully cocked as he's ready to take down The Good the Bad and the fugly. He may take names but he'll also punch faces and teeth all the way down their throat until they come out they're scrote. It's a not too distant future where robots, men,good and evil all wage war on cold steel while Slaughter sends them all the bill for their asses. Ready or not OldMan Slaughter is coming atcha.

Tempt Me Twice

Jonathan/Argyle | Teen | 1.8k No Upside Down, Referenced Child Abuse, Non-Traditional Soulmate AU-ish

Because I'm a sucker for weird and muddy soulmateisms, please enjoy this... journey of discovery and true love. Something like that. 🥰💖

Read on AO3

“Dude.”

“Huh?”

“Would it, like, totally skeeve you out if I asked you to kiss me right now? Cuz, like, I could totally kiss you right now, man.”

It wasn’t the first time they’d spread out on the grassy plane of Argyle’s backyard like this. Midnight while his family was asleep, when Jonathan hadn’t gone home yet since being driven over after school. It wasn’t the first time he’d smoked a full joint, either, but it felt like the first time he’d been tempted to regret it. Just a little bit. His head was fuzzy, and the stars bounced across his eyes before another cloud of smoke came to keep them still. Purple Palm Tree Delight, man.

“No.”

It did things to him.

“Wait, really?”

“I mean, not while you’re… fuckin’ upside down. Hold on,” he said, moving from his position next to Argyle’s head so they were pointing in the same direction. “Okay, there.” He was so warm even in the crisp February breeze. “Now you can kiss me.”

Argyle chuckled—“Alriiiight”—and leaned forward to kiss him exactly like he said. Jonathan closed his eyes and kissed him back even harder than he’d expected of himself. It should have been a peck, not this slow, gentle thing it had already become. It should have been quick and nasty and something they never spoke about again. But Argyle couldn’t help himself. “Wait, did we just kiss?” he asked, and Jonathan nodded. “Should we, like, do it again?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuckin’ rad, man, come here.”

Jonathan didn’t know what to think of this uninhibited need to keep his mouth within reach of Argyle’s, to keep their lips locked and tongues tied until the delight wore off. Maybe longer. It didn’t feel like it ever would with the way Argyle caressed his chin. So hot, then, was the air in between, breaths that passed each other’s oxygen instead of THC. It fizzled out in the dirt next to colorful polyester flowers that turned in closer to a cotton t-shirt, and Argyle stole a taste of Jonathan’s tongue.

He hummed into it, denying that it was a moan or that he could have this all he liked because he never got to believe in it. Their first trip down Lavender Lane weeks ago, it made him think of his father. All of the stories Lonnie used to tell when he was drunk, scaring Jonathan and his brother Will into believing his marriage with Joyce was the best any marriage could get. And Jonathan believed him. Jonathan believed every lie he spit, every misshapen warning about voices in his head and unexplained bruises. That was devil speak. There were no such things as soulmates.

Lonnie taught him how to lie. Not intimately, by telling him how to keep his tone steady and his face straight, nor intentionally, by telling him anything at all—but successfully nonetheless. He’d taught Jonathan to keep quiet when things got too loud; to stay alert, but not to stare; to observe and remain an outsider. So Jonathan took those lessons from home and all through high school. No, he wasn’t lonely. Yes, he thought about girls. Yes, he was just fine.

But the truth was, no, he wasn’t convinced that Steve Harrington and Nancy Wheeler were soulmates, and neither was anybody. They reeked of tall tales and guilt. What confirmed it was their inevitable breakup, and further when Jonathan learned that Steve didn’t share the birthmark on Nancy’s hip. They’d both always seen color. Nancy never got Steve’s chemistry notes on her arm, or his bruises after a fight, and he only got on her nerves. Even so, Jonathan never felt like he was meant to be with her either. She lied to him, and he lied right back, for months until California came along, and they decided to be honest for the first time all year.

Jonathan never had that with Argyle. Not the strained bickering or a deep-seated urge to hide the truth. Not dread about it lasting forever, because they were only friends, and friends didn’t last forever either. Nor did he think friends kissed like this, in the grass, under a starry night sky, holding each other close and not daring to pull away in case it was the only time. But when they did, Jonathan asked, “Have you always wanted to do that?”

If he were sober, he may not have noticed Argyle hesitate. “Yeah, man. Is… is that weird, or…”

“No, nonono, me too.”

“Shit, man, why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t think you’d want to,” Jonathan said, and then laughed something a little morose. “No one really wants to.” And maybe he shouldn’t have admitted to it. He shouldn’t have given so much of himself away in five words, in a kiss that lasted too long to keep anything a secret anymore, but he didn’t want secrets. He didn’t want to lie, nor could he, it seemed, but that was only King Palm sitting on his tongue.

“Well, damn, I do.”

“Do?” He looked up at Argyle, whose hair hung down right next to his face, shadowed under the sun until it was pushed out of the way. “Like, present tense.”

“Uhh… I mean, honestly, a tent would be a pretty shit present, if you ask me, but I’ll take it if it means I can kiss you more.”

Jonathan laughed. “Dude, you are so fucking buzzed.”

And Argyle laughed even harder. “I know, I’m zoinked out of my fucking head right now, man.” He fell over Jonathan’s chest and lay his head there for a while.

So maybe it was the weed after all. Jonathan figured as much when they didn’t kiss again the next day, or talk about it, or allude to it. Maybe it never happened at all. He didn’t know anymore, and he didn’t want to be the one to ask. It had felt like a dream before, to have Argyle next to him like he was supposed to be there from the start. He was whimsy, and the best parts of night and day wrapped into one person. He was the sunrise, the turn of the moon and every one of its phases. He was comfort that Jonathan felt like he’d known forever, somehow. Deep inside him somewhere—his soul had met its match.

At night, it occurred to him whether his dad had been telling the truth about devils and their tricks on the mind. Even long after Lonnie had left, after Joyce had kicked him out when he tried to beat the demons out of Will, Jonathan wondered if they were real. His brother had started whispering to himself when he was seven. Then eight, nine, ten all came and went, and it was getting absurd, Joyce, he’s too old to be doing that shit! Her defense wasn’t enough.

“It’s my soulmate,” Will had said to Jonathan early on in this development. “Don’t tell dad. I think it’s a boy.”

Yes, demons, but Argyle never spoke to him like that, through impossible channels of their minds or bodies. Jonathan never had a voice in his head that wasn’t his own, or words on his skin that weren’t in his writing. It was all make-believe—that’s what Lonnie used to say. Devil stuff, though he was never a Christian man, nor did he ever try to prove it. Jonathan still feared as much going into adulthood, wondering if Will would stop whispering one day and be gone the next. If, now that they were in California, now that he’d met Argyle, his demon of temptation would wake up and drag him down.

The first time they sat on the hood of Jonathan’s new-old Cutlass, he wondered if Argyle really was a demon in disguise.

“What’s goin’ on, dude? Look like you just got out of a funeral for your pet rock.” Jonathan could only laugh, daring him not to speak because that was better than telling a truth that would ruin it. Ruin them. “You okay?”

They weren’t even high yet.

“You make me nervous,” he said at last, focusing on the distressed corduroy on Argyle’s knee.

He sighed. “Well, damn. Not quite what I wanted to hear but okay.” Kicking long legs against the front panel, not hard but enough to make a rattle, he picked at the loose threads.

“No, I mean—“ Argyle’s gaze cut him off, sharper than the sunset slicing through the trees. Before he could light the idle joint between his fingers, Jonathan took the matchbox and set it aside.

“No purple palm today? I’ve got the other stuff in my bag—“

“Would you have kissed me without it?”

The air got heavy then. Maybe it was only Jonathan and the bad things getting closer to take him alive. “Yeah,” Argyle said, and he shrunk into the glare with a shrug. His eyes made the clutch around Jonathan’s heart tighter but safer now that he knew the answer.

“Can we do it again?”

“You want to?”

“I mean, I asked.”

He’d have been lying if he said Argyle’s hand on his cheek again didn’t mellow him down from the height of fear and adrenaline he’d put himself through. The breath on his lips that was only one thing: desire, someone who really wanted to. So they kissed again, just a peck. Without the weed, it overwhelmed them to be so close and clear-headed, nothing between them to hide the possibility of regretting it or learning that something wicked existed after all. But Jonathan leaned in again the second time. He kept it light. Still testing the waters or something, he didn’t know, but it felt good. Fuck, it felt so good.

“Johnny.”

“Yeah?”

“You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?”

His fingers just grazed the buttons of Argyle’s shirt, not trying too hard to button one in the middle somewhere. “I don’t think I can,” he said, and Argyle looked like an angel with the sun’s halo around dark hair.

“You ever wanted to?” Jonathan had never heard such hesitance in Argyle’s voice before, but he shook his head anyway because it was true.

“Never had to.”

So maybe he believed in soulmates. Not the kind in stories, because he’d never seen those come to life, but this. He believed in his heart and his tongue pulling Argyle closer by the second. He believed in the hands on his face and his thigh, in teeth that tugged at his bottom lip and made it hurt to breathe. He believed in Argyle. Jonathan thought he loved him.

Then Argyle whispered, soft and so sweet right into his mouth, just against his tongue. “I think I love you too.”

His heart damn near gave out.

“Wait. You’ve seriously never kissed anyone before?” with Rad

Man, it's been forever since I wrote for Rad :o

I honestly had a hard time remembering how I wrote him.

Rad knew that he was the best friend that someone could have. He was the best fucker round these parts, and anyone else that said otherwise was wrong. Aiight? He was all that! The bees knees! Yet, even with how great he was, he knew that he wasn't... the most likable person.

Fresh was the more well-known guy and he, honestly, wasn't liked by too much. Rad was honestly scared of the big fucker! Why wouldn't he be? Just look at em. Plus, he was older and stronger. So bogus...

Fresh wanted him dead.

He was a parasite, they were both ones, and it was in their body to kill, to stop the other one. They never were able to kill each other though and listen to him, they tried.

There weren't a lot of people that Rad really cared about, he was aggressive and mean to a lot of people. He was supposed to be the 'enemy' to Fresh. He would offer people drugs and stuff like that and teach people curse words then Fresh was supposed ta appear and go "Ey, nah bruhs, that ain't fresh at all. Don't do that crunk stuff" or whatever the hell he would go for.

One of the people that he... strangely started to care about, was a human. They went by the name of Y/n, and at first, he didn't care about them. Why would he care about them? They were just some weird little human, nothing too special about them but then he grew attached to them. They treated him kindly even though he was a bad guy. They would tease him, play with him, chat with him and do so many other things. He grew sickeningly attached to the feeling.

He loved the feeling of not being a villain around them.

Lately, they've been teasing him more often, and he tried to ignore it even though it was embarrassing. Sometimes they would tease him by hugging him or jumping on his back.

This was one of those times.

He was just standing while looking up at the sky lost in thought. A cig hanging from his teeth, not lit yet but he could still look cool. That was until he suddenly heard fast footsteps "Rad!" a familiar voice shouts, causing him to tense up his bones locking together.

Just like Fresh, he couldn't exactly... feel things but he had a feeling that he felt more than Fresh ever did or would ever admit to feeling. They were two very different people yet oh so similar too.

He was about to turn until he felt them hit his back, their legs wrapped around his waist and their arms around his neck "Hey!"

Letting out a grunt, stumbling forward with the cig dropping from his mouth, he turns his head slightly to look at them, squinting behind his glasses "Ay brah, why you jumpin' on me like that? You're gonna make me fuckin' fall. What you doin'?"

They lean over, pecking a kiss against his cheek "Trying to make a big baddie fall" they tease.

He didn't pay attention to what they said.

They kissed him? Did that mean that they liked him? "uhhh Rad?" They say again, making him blink getting knocked out of his thoughts. Oh damn, his face felt hot.

"What?" He snaps, mostly just because... he wasn't sure what this feeling was.

"Why are you so red? It's like you've never been kissed before?" they ask, letting go so they would drop down to the floor walking around to stand in front of him. He looks down at them, then turns his head away fixing his glasses. They blink then their eyes widen "Oh my god... wait. You've seriously never kissed anyone before?"

He growls softly at them, and turns away crossing his arms over his chest "Why would I wanna kiss some bogus dickweed? Ain't my thing... so ain't dope" Yeah, he's never kissed anyone before, so what? He thought to themselves.

They laugh softly, shaking their head "okay okay" they start, holding up their hands "I'm sorry, I'll stop... now come on, we're supposed to be heading out" they reach over, taking his hand, and start to walk pulling him along behind them.

He looks at them, frowning a little following after. Their lips were so soft... he shakes his head to try to get his mind off that, and mumbles fixing his hat. "Fuck"

He can't have a crush on them. Not now... not ever.

I've been following u for several years and I just noticed that ur icon is not Crowley from Supernatural.

Anon, finally someone with observational skills on the same level as me. LOL. That's so funny, I can TOTALLY see where your brain would autofill Crowley and I RESPECT you. (And not a bad choice either, from the Supernatural days.) It's actually Richard Harmon! When I was... 23? 24? like 6-ish years ago; He was supposed to be doing a convention locally. It fell apart from bad organizing, but I'm /extra/, and this had been a thing my friend and I had been looking forward to. SO. I end up making some calls, doing some sleuthing. I'm on the phone with his convention agent. We discuss the idea of a meetup for local fans instead, since he's already paid for his time. We vent about the event, we chat, She says a private meetup would be better. And that's the story how my friend Robin and I ended up meeting up with Richard Harmon in a coffee shop in Vancouver. He really enjoys photography too, and was down for "Candid" shots. He posed for a few, loool. He let me see all his character music he uses on his ipod.. He was a sarcastic bastard man (affectionate), and one of the kindest folks tbh. Sometimes I still see pictures of him in the beanie my best friend made to gift him that day. Fuckin' rad experience. Haven't changed my icon since!

Survey #544

this is three days old... oops lmao

What makeup product do you never use? I mean... all of them these days, haha. But one that comes to mind that I've literally never used is bronzer. Have you ever seen a jellyfish? Yes, in an aquarium by the beach. Has anyone ever randomly licked your face? A partner mighta just to annoy me, but idr. Did anyone ever draw on your face when you were sleeping? No. Have you ever done that to someone else? No. My friend and I did once draw eyebrows onto our old boxer Cali though and shit was fucking peek entertainment. Can you imitate any other accent? I do British very well. Have you ever protested? No. Tbh I think I'd be afraid of things turning violent, and I also physically can't stand for an extended period of time. I'd like to do so peacefully and stand for what I'm passionate about, but. Dunno if it'll actually happen. Have you ever participated in a parade? No. Were you ever chased by an animal? No. Have you ever told an elder to fuck off? No; I've never had a reason to, but don't go thinking I won't if you deserve it. I don't care what age group you're in. Are you single/or taken? Taken. ^ Are you happy with that? Yes, very. He brings an incredible amount of light into my life. Do you feel guilty about anything? I always will. Have you ever started talking to someone that you thought was someone else? OH MY GOD YES and the guy was SO confused, I'm so sorry my guy. When someone sneezes, do you say “Bless you,” or “God Bless you?” "Bless you" by habit, even though I don't like it. I don't like the religious implication, so this question actually made me realize I'm going to try and start saying "Gesundheit" instead. What are two things you are excited to do in the near future? Fully complete the DP forum. :') Have you ever seen the movie A Walk to Remember? Cliche or worth watching? Bro no shame, it was a wonderful movie. Do you ever put condoms in old people’s buggies at the store? I may not know how to be an adult for the most part, but Christ I can at least be mature enough to not do that. Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? Mom rents this house. Are you kind of a loner? Do you like being alone? Oh absolutely, very frequently to my own detriment. I NEED my alone time, and honestly a lot of it, but I can also become extremely lonely if I overdo it. Are you one of those people who like to spell out numbers? It depends. In English it is generally accepted that you write out 1-9 fully and then transfer to using only digits after. Or something like that. What's one event your town has that you don’t like to participate in? I don't participate in any. Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouse’s names? Katie is married to Josh, Misty is married to Franky, Bobby's wife is uh... okay I forgot her name, and Ashley is tragically married to Nick. Name one lyric from the song you’re listening to/the last one you listened? It's in German, but the English translation is: "And the fear grows into the night; door and gates are guarded / the back's wet, the hands clammy / everyone is afraid of the Black Man ('Bogeyman' in German)." It's a brilliantly political song about paranoia between a country's own people dividing them all, with the most fuckin rad music video ever. Have you ever owned a turtle? Did it ever bite you when you owned it? As a kid I briefly kept a poor red-eared slider, which even worse, is invasive here. I eventually let it go nearby, but for real, don't take animals from the wild, y'all. I don't remember it trying to bite me. Does your father have any creepy or scary friends you dont like? I have zero clue who his friends are now. Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? Yeah, it's part of my photography editing bundle. I never used it a whole lot, not even once every day, but I quite enjoy it and got shit to make when I get a new laptop that can handle it, haha. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? I don't watch shows period, but thinking of those I've enjoyed in the past, I'm sure she'd be unhappy about Deadman Wonderland. Like she wouldn't stop me from watching it, but she sure wouldn't watch herself. How long have you lived with the person/people you currently live with? Since I was born. Do you see yourself still with your current partner in 10 years? That's easy, honestly. Do you have any Italian ancestry? Not that I know of, no. I don't think we really know Dad's ancestry? I know his last name is Irish, though. What was the dumbest thing you ever did as a teenager? I let some guy be my sole source of happiness and convinced myself there was no way in Heaven or Hell I could live without him. Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature? It has to be frigid or else I do nooot like it. I am so immensely picky with water, which I don't really like anyway. Does anyone in your family have green eyes? My eyes are mistaken as a greenish color sometimes, when in fact they're primarily blue, but definitely with tints of gray and green. What was the name of your first ever pet? I was born into the family when my father owned a stunning female collie named Trigger, but I have zero memories of her because she died when I was just a baby. The first pet I remember owning as a family was Chance, a stray cat we took in. Now if we're talking my very first personal pet, it was either my guinea pig Squeak or Chinese water dragon Shadow; I can't recall who came first. Have you Googled anything today? What? Ugh yeah, edema relief. Now that I'm in the spare room a lot, with my legs very used to being elevated, it builds up. I'm trying to strike a balance so I can leave the bed without dealing with edema to a dangerous extreme. What do you like to eat for breakfast these days? Cereal, usually. Is anyone in your family a nurse? Well, close; my sister Ashley is a mammographer. There may be other family member in the medical field too, but I don't know about it. Do you like to wear lipstick? What colours do you think suit you best? Should I already have black eye liner (and sometimes shadow) on, I think a black lipstick looks great on me, I just don't have a quality one that doesn't immediately get on everything. If I put it on, it's literally JUST to take a picture lmao. Who was the last person to recommend a book to you? My aunt Kelly. Who was the last person to tease or joke around with you, in a friendly way? Girt and I do that shit daily lmao Is there a jar of peanut butter in your house? We always have one. Who was the last person that said you were beautiful? My boyfren. :') Do you think witchcraft is interesting? I do indeed, but nowhere near to the extent of my sister Misty. She sincerely considers herself a witch. What do you think of people who hate vegetarians? "I think they could be so much more productive with their time." <<<< 100% this. If a person feels healthier and/or more morally at peace by not eating meat, okay???? Let them. Holier-than-thou vegetarians/vegans exist, sure, and they're annoying, but the fact still remains that their dietary habits have zero effect on you. What is your favorite Johnny Depp film? I actually really enjoy his performance in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Do you like the color purple? I do, it's pretty, especially when blended with hues of pink. What film are you looking forward to seeing the most? At this moment I'd actually really like to go see The Black Phone. I should talk to Mom about that. Do you like dragons? I fuckin LOVE dragons, GOOD GOOD SHIT. I'm always interested in dragon content, and I like collecting dragon decor and such. Which one of your parents has the worst temper? I don't think I can fairly answer this question. Dad was definitely more volatile when my parents were together, but they split like... almost a decade ago, and I haven't lived with him since. Mom spites the fuck outta him for it, but my dad is infinitely happier and more pleasant without her; since I re-established ties with him a couple years after he left, he was just a brand fucking new person. I mean maybe he still gets angry faster than Mom, but I can't say that with certainty since I just don't see him enough. What’s the last thing you learned? So in my Rammstein obsession lately I've been more intent than before on learning the stories that aren't obvious behind some songs, right? WELL I learned the detailed story behind "Mein Teil" AND,,,,,,,, IT'S A LOT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, When’s the last time you felt obsessed? ^ lmao oh, my passion for these goofs has been out of this world lately What would you spend $1,000 on? Okay so we're gonna say I can't save it for this, in which case I would probably get my big tattoo I want on my left arm, and if I have money to spare, I'd cover Sara's handwriting tattoo with Teddy's tribute one. What’s your job, or what do you want to do as your job? Blah, blah, I mention not having a job enough already. it stresses me the fuck out, but I just. Don't know exactly what I want to do to earn my keep, and by now the only thing that feels even mildly realistic for me is to be a housewife. There are some days where I horribly spite that, and others where I don't mind too much. It's like, I want to accomplish big things, but there is a lot in the way that I just do not know if I can get past. Then I'm also a person with a metric shit-ton of love in her, so this side says there's great position in just being a loving, supportive wife that helps keep her spouse motivated and happy. Ugh this answer is getting long dude, I just don't know. Maybe there's like this compromise where I'm a housewife that makes some income with her hobbies, idk dude, I really don't. What kind of covers do you have on your bed? They're a thin, airy pink that works well for hot weather. What song plays in your head the most? Rammstein's "Zick Zack" and its entire music video literally live in my head at all conscious moments completely rent-free. Have you ever received a card signed individually by a large group of people? Uhhh, maybe as a family collaboration for a birthday? Idr. Who do you know that’s pregnant right now? One of Ashley's oldest friends (and a neighbor for a massive chunk of our lives!), finally!! She's an elementary school teacher and just SO sweet, she is going to be a spectacular mother. <3 What did you last use scissors for? To make a starting point to open a bag of pizza rolls. Who have you helped move? Jason, and to a lesser extent, I helped get us into this house... barely. I am just so, so incredibly weak that to be honest I barely did anything and cried about it, but my family supposedly understood. And what age was your first kiss? I was a month into 16, I think. What is the last strain of weed you smoked/consumed however?............. I did not know weed had "strains" lmfao I don't know shit What is the last YouTube channel you watched? Rammstein Official; I watched their "Making of..." video for "Mein Teil." Do you have any nieces or nephews? Oh yes, many. I only see my immediate sister's three children regularly, though. The others live in different states entirely, as far away as Ohio. Have you ever been to an extremely dirty house before? Whose house was it? OLJAKSLDJFAKLWEJAFLER yes, Colleen's mother's when we were still friends. We went in there and out so fuckin fast. My mother also has a friend who is a hoarder, but I don't know if things have cleaned up since she had to move to a new place. I hope so; she's such a sweet woman that was just too low in sorrow over her mother's passing to take care of the house. Would you ever or do you hunt? I genuinely think I would rather starve and die, but if it was a serious survival situation, I really don't know what I'd do. I think that's one of those situations where you have to be in it to really know. Do you like to play games on your phone? What games do you play most often? I only really ever play Pokemon GO. What is the most recent video you took of? Damn dude, no idea. Maybe Teddy's last birthday when he got his "cake" and Mom and I sang "happy birthday" to him. Has wind ever done any extreme damage to your home or anything that you own? No, not extreme damage. We've had a tree fall onto our roof by a hurricane, and it required a bit of patching up, but it really wasn't bad. Do you enjoy taking photos with your significant other or are you just not that type of couple? If you don't have a significant other, do you enjoy taking photos of yourself more or of your friends and/or family? It's been 12 years of knowing on another... and ONE picture of us exists, and I'm barely in it lmaoooo. Girt just isn't a picture person, and I just feel too ugly all the time to try taking some. If I wasn't so self-conscious, oh, I would absolutely force this man to take some with me, haha.

Seeing Faster Pussycat/LA Guns/Tom Keifer Band in concert:

if you follow me on insta you know a LOT happened last night xD this is going to be a VERY long post I can just feel it. I gotta try and sort out my copious thoughts mixed in with all the events so we're gonna TRY doing this in chronological order:

*deep breath*

when I first got there 5 hours before showtime, I went inside to use the bathroom. Now this venue is relatively small, and they have a small restaurant upstairs (those are the bathrooms you have to use prior to doors). I went upstairs and I heard Tom soundchecking from there :o he was playing Don't Know What You Got (Til It's Gone) and it was making the room shake it was the greatest piss of my life

I was the 4th person in the general admission line and I was with these two guys, one of whom had a RAD hysteria tat and said I have Joe's (pyromania) haircut

this guy offered me free beer

one of these three people in front of me ended up being my "concert friend" (I'll refer to her as Robin) bc we talked so much and she's old enough to be my mom

Robin and the other two guys in front of me had VIP packages to see LA Guns' soundcheck so they left and I was first in line until only Robin came back

Slim Tender actually passed in front of us in line hours before doors opened but none of us really realized it was him

I got my photo pass and got in like 10 minutes before everyone else!! I ended up being front row at the barrier to stage left

Faster Pussycat's rhythm guitarist (Ronnie Simmons) gave me big Steve Clark vibes bc he's a skinny white boy with long hair who looked shy, did air split jumps while playing, and just in general felt Steve-y

Sam Bam is incredible and adorable just saying and FP sounded awesome like Taime sounds exactly the same as he did 30 years ago

They stole the fucking show I swear to god the night peaked with them imo

Phil was wearing a mesh tank top with a bandana and feathered hat he looked like a granddad trying too hard to be a pirate and the curly ass mustache didn't help

Phil looks like his 80s self is pretending to be old

Due to personal reasons I am now in love with Phil Lewis

he was dancing like a total dork it drove me insane I couldn't get enough

His speaking voice is so high???

Phil grabbed his left tiddy like twice during their set

guys I SWEAR I saw a tramp stamp on him with my own two eyes I SWEAR I saw it you gotta believe me

Phil pointing at my camera during the first fucking song and me not getting the shot ;-;

Phil replacing random lyrics with the words "Tracii Guns" (i.e. "nowww Tracii's breaking hearts in heaven")

Phil giving a speech about Tracii during Jayne and saying how he's been his best friend for over 30 years and how "no man has ever touched me like he has-"

Tracii: *pokes Phil's shoulder* C:

Phil: "-and I LIKED it"

Tracii: *pokes Phil's boob* C:

Ace apparently pulled his groin early in their set (I was on Tracii's side so I didn't see- I will elaborate more on this later)

since I was on the side of the stage with the exit, that meant the drinks were there too, so every time Tracii went into a solo, Phil would come over and would almost always interact with me and the teenage girls next to me

at one point I took advantage of this and I blew a kiss at him when he was in front of me, to which he went :O and slapped his cheek to show he "caught" it and I went fuckin ballistic

at the end of their set Phil grabbed one of Tracii's picks and crouched down in front of me and threw it to me (I CAUGHT IT)

was anyone going to tell me Tracii Guns is a dilf or-

I literally thought Johnny Martin was a woman the whole time- like I KNEW it had to be him but I was seriously second guessing myself because he just- he was in glasses and a scarf and a hat and he haS A VERY FEMININE BUILD

Phil saying he's happy to be "on top of this beautiful mountain again" (the venue is on top of a mountain) and it's so weird bc like ? this is just where I live? and he likes it? HE likes it??

apparently Phil complemented a girl on her tits during the show (she was showing a lot on purpose and bouncing a lot and he just kinda motioned bouncing tits with his hands and nodded- I'M TOLD- I didn't actually see any of this. Robin told me afterwards)

LA Guns stole the show I stg I had no idea how Tom was gonna top that it was the peak of my night

Tom was ethereal just saying he sounds T H E E. S A M E. HAS HE DID ON NIGHT SONGS.

Tom's knee high boots and tight pants hell yeah

Tom wasn't really playing with the crowd that much but he did slightly acknowledge me during Shelter Me by just kinda looking at me and singing

He played much more Cinderella than I expected I was LIVING

Tom saying we (him and the crowd) are basically related bc we're all from PA. So from this point onward I am related to Tom Keifer I didn't make these rules he said it himself

Tom during Nobody's Fool going "I SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM- *falls to his knees*" a capella, letting his voice absolutely shudder the whole building, and holding it forever and everyone going nuts what a fucking god

Tom betting we knew every word to Nobody's Fool which we DID

his playing just seems so smooth????

his wife Savannah being on backing vocals and them doing Don't Know What You Got (Til It's Gone) together was really cute ;-;

Before they did that Tom told us to "show him some Pennsylvania stars" (aka put our lights on during the song)

the stars actually coming out in the sky after the show ;-; <3

they did Long Cold Winter as an encore and I was dissociating thee whole fucking time so badly because I was THAT exhausted- like I didn't even recognize the song until the very end I was that out of it. I didn't have anything to drink- alcohol or not.

someone was holding a very good drawing they did of him and his wife the whole time and at the end of the set one of the roadies took it from her and brought it back, and came out a minute later asking if she wanted it back, to which she said they could keep it. SO yeah Tom and Savannah kept a fan's drawing of them ;-; <3

Tom's hair is still godly

I also never knew he has a nice butt 👌 and legs

When Tom was recording the video of the crowd he put on his insta he was like "hold on I gotta I make sure I recorded bc the other night I fucked it up and didn't get it..."

"...I GOT IT" *audience cheers bc yay Tom knows how to use a phone good for u honey we're proud*

Okay that's JUST from the show. Now here's where it gets crazy.