#John is a magical girl confirmed
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I love this bit from the new interview with Tamsyn Muir
#John is a magical girl confirmed#tamsyn muir#john gaius#tlt#the locked tomb#I wish I could draw I wish I could draw so bad 😤#my poasts#🦴
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It was the final hour. Doomsday at their door, with only hours left before the world was consumed entirely and every last living thing was devoured right along with it.
Summoning the High King of the Infinite Realms was the only option left, and even then felt more like choosing a firing squad rather than a noose at the end of the day. Pariah Dark might - might - accept the task of destroying the foe they faced, but tmit would come at a cost that was near equal to doing nothing at all. Provided the tyrannical ruler simply didn't let them all die, an entire planet dead was an entire planet to add to his endless armies.
They had to try. Stupid and suicidal as it was.
Zantanna and John worked in silence as they created the summoning circle, hands shaking and stomachs cramping as they worked under the apprehensive eyes of the rest of the League. They all understood that no matter what happened, they would all likely end up dead by the end of it. That the best case scenario meant that death was only the beginning of their problems.
Candles were lit. Insense burned. Blood spilled. Words spoken.
Nothing.
Nothing.
It failed, not so much as a flicker of magic. Which was impossible, they'd checked and confirmed a dozen times that they had the right ritual, that they were following the steps, they had done everything right way wasn't it working? What had they done wr-
"Ugh, gross is that blood?"
Elle Phantom, fifteen minuted late to the site of the ritual with both the boys Super, the most murderous Robin and a sugary abomination of an iced coffee from Starbucks, scrunched her nose in disgust as she looked at the summoning circle.
"This ritual is so out of date, where did you even find it? Wait is that Latin? Who tries to summon someone from the Ghost Zone in Latin?"
John had burned through every drop of alcohol and cigarette he owned hours ago while trying to find this bloody damn ritual and was very much not in the mood for the little hellspawn's color commentary on the process.
"I don't bloody well seeing you providing with any alternatives for summoning the Ghost King." He swore, turning away from the gremlin to tear through the ancient book he and Zantanna had discovered with the ritual inside.
There was a loud slurping noise as the undead hero sucked the last remnants of her drink through the straw. John's brow twitched, even Zantanna - who usually seemed endeared by the chaos goblin - looked at the end of her rope.
Then - "Oh, is that who you wanted to summon? Why didn't you say so?" She drifted over, handing her empty drink off to a disgruntled looking Batman, and began rummaging through the unused magival supplies left over from the - failed - summoning circle. "Here, give me like, five minutes."
John was fairly certain his head was about to explode.
"You know how to summon the Ghost King? You?"
Phantom rolled her eyes at him. "Duh, obviously."
"Obviously." Zantanna repeated, looking like she was half a moment away from having a breakdown. She didn't try to stop the ghostly girl, though, and to be fair neither was John. They were already fucked, might as well let the gremlin try her hand at it.
It took less than the five minutes Phantom had claimed she needed.
When she was done there was a significantly smaller circle on the ground. At the cardinal directions of the circle, written clockwise she'd drawn not any magical runes but instead what appeared to be the Roman Numerals for one, then two, then something akin to a sideways T with an additional mark rising upward from the long horizontal bar, then the letter L.
It had to have some kind of ancient magical significance John didn't know as Shazam made a noise like a dying goose and squeaked out the word Loss like it was a question. Phantom gave the Champion of Magic a sharp toothed grin before adding some words in a language John didn't know before she finally allowed gravity to pull her back to earth and plant her feet on the ground.
She wiped her hands together a bit dramatically, looking pleased with herself, but at that point John didn't care. He could feel the building magic, heavy and oppressive as she had begun her task. Unlike the circle he and Zantanna had attempted, this one was working.
He couldn't help thr nervous swallow he gave as Phantom then declared, with a strange amount of seriousness. "All that’s left are the words."
She took a deep breath, eyes closing for a moment, and the world went utterly silent around them. This, John could feel, this was the real deal. Fuck him sideways the hellspawn was actually doing it.
Phantom's eyes opened, glowing with that bright eerie green light of her power. Another deep breath and then -
"You are my dad! You're my dad!" He watched, any scraps of hope she'd instilled in him dying an undignified death as she gave a terrible little wiggle dance while she sang(?) Off key, "Boogie woogie woogie!"
Every last person on Earth was going to die and one of John's last moments was going to be spent watching the little undead shit do the Macarena. Well fuck him, he guessed.
Then there was the sound of the veil between the world's tearing in two and the fucking Ghost King was standing in Phantom's summoning circle screaming in a screeching falsetto:
"When will you learn? When will you learn that your actions have consequences!"
You know what actually at this point John would rather the apocalypse kill him.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom#batman#justice league#danielle phantom#danielle fenton#john constantine#zantanna zatara#danny fenton#ghost king danny#Danny got to make up his own summoning rituals when he became king#there's a general one but he also has personalized rituals for each of his family members#all of them involve memes#the day is saved#but it's also the day that the Justice League find out Elle is the daughter(?) of the Ghost King#except for Damian Jon and Con#they already knew
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Want stories featuring queer characters in fantasy, science fiction, or horror settings, where being queer is central to the character but not the only thing they have going on? Let me introduce you to my list of podcasts!
To start we have Welcome to Night Vale. You’ve likely heard of it thanks to the tumblr sexy man poll, or if you’re old school tumblr like I am. It’s a classic for a reason, it kicked off the fiction podcast renaissance and was queer from the jump.
Welcome to Night Vale is an episodic podcast taking the form of radio broadcasts from a strange desert town called Night Vale that appears to be in a parallel universe to ours. It follows the bizarre occurrences within the town and the oppressive government’s clumsy attempts to cover them up.
How is it queer? The show also follows the personal life of radio show host Cecil Palmer who met new-to-town scientist Carlos, and “fell in love instantly”. Not only are they now married, they’ve adopted a child together.
Alice Isn’t Dead
From the creators of Welcome to Night Vale, Alice Isn’t Dead is a horror fiction podcast that follows Keisha, a woman who became a long haul truck driver to go in search of the wife (Alice) she thought was dead, but discovered was alive. In the process she uncovers monsters lurking among us and a massive government conspiracy trying to hide the truth.
How is it queer? As stated, the inciting incident is that Keisha discovers that her wife is secretly alive.
Dimension 20: Fantasy High
A dungeons and dragons actual play show. This season is set in a 1980s John Hughes-esque fantasy high school called the Arthur Aguefort Adventuring Academy. It follows six high schoolers starting their first day of freshman year as they form their adventuring party and try to uncover the mystery of why girls at their school keep going missing.
How is it queer? Kristen Applebees is the cleric of the party, and most of her arc in the first season is based in the struggle between honoring her religious upbringing and the god that gave her her magic, and realizing she’s a lesbian. Fig Faeth (the bard of the group) does not have a romance arc in this season, however in season 2 she does end up in a romantic relationship with another woman, and much of her arc in that relationship is based around the insecurities hidden behind her rock and roll persona. Riz Gukgak (the rogue of the group) does not use the term asexual on screen, however it is clear in a conversation in season 2 where he discusses feeling awkward about not being horny when all his other friends are. He was later confirmed as asexual by dungeon master Brennan Lee Mulligan.
Dimension 20: The Unsleeping City
Another story with the same players as Fantasy High. This story takes place in a fantastical New York City where the waking world intersects with the world of dream and magic. The story follows six adventurers as they struggle to keep the two worlds in balance with each other, and prevent the big bad from ruining the world of dreams forever. It’s Brennan’s love letter to New York.
How is it queer? Pete Conlan (the sorcerer of the group) is a bit of a dirt bag drug dealer who is struggling to learn to take on the responsibility of being the voice for the dreams. He is also a trans man. His awakening into the magical New York occurs because his dad attempts to deadname him, and he uses his magic powers to fill his dad’s mouth with bubbles and blast him away.
Not Another D&D Podcast Campaign 1
This is another dungeons and dragons actual play set in a more traditional D&D world. It follows the story of three adventurers living in the shadows of the saviors of Bahumia that came before them. Only to realize one of those saviors might not have retired, and is up to no good. They will have to save Bahumia from one of its saviors.
How is it queer? Beverly Toegold The Fifth (Paladin of the group) is the fantasy equivalent of a Boy Scout and ends up in a romantic relationship with another boy from his troop. (They’re both meant to be 16 by the end of the campaign I believe.) Moonshine Cybin (the Druid of the group) is just generally horny for everyone and anyone that impresses her, but she does also spend her last night before the final battle hooking up with Hardwon’s (the third party member) sister in law.
Not Another D&D Podcast Campaign 2
This story is set in the world of Eldermourne which delves heavily into the aesthetic of gothic horror. It follows three adventurers as they go in search of a missing witch that will help them protect Eldermourne from the conflicting factions of gods and religious extremists each trying to take the world and remake it in the way that suits them.
How is it queer? A major thrust of the story is that Fia Boginya (the wizard and cleric multiclass of the group) once saved her dear friend Irina from execution, but they end up needing Irina’s magic to protect the world. The party goes in search of her, and Fia admits to having always been in love with Irina, even when they were just children.
The Adventure Zone: Balance
Another D&D actual play. This one is set in a fantasy world that draws heavily on both fantasy and other aesthetics. The three adventurers encounter an extremely powerful and destructive magical object, and manage to capture it. In doing so they are inducted into the organization called the Bureau of Balance, and are sent on missions to recover the other objects of power that have been scattered across the land. There is more to the characters than even they know.
How is it queer? Taako the Wizard (one of the adventurers) ends up in a romantic relationship with the Grim Reaper who in this world is a man. There is also a romantic relationship between two women who are also members of the Bureau of Balance that hangs out in the background of the story. A trans woman is also prevalent in the story, but explaining anything else about her reveals major spoilers for the campaign, but trust me she is narratively important.
The Adventure Zone: Amnesty
This is another actual play show, but it uses the Monster of the Week system that was created using shows like Scooby Doo, X-Files, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is set in the fictional town of Kepler, West Virginia and the Monongahela National Forest. Cryptids are real and they all hang out in Kepler. Three friends band together to stop monsters with ill intent from destroying the town, and learn more about the world that parallels theirs. It is Dungeon Master Griffin McElroy’s love letter to the West Virginia town he and his brothers grew up in.
How is it queer? Aubrey Little is the magic user of the group and identifies as bisexual. She ends up in a romantic relationship with a vampire girl in town.
Campaign Skyjacks
It is another role playing game actual play. I’m not entirely clear on what system they are using, as a lot of it is the creation of the game master. It is set in a fantasy world where crossing the oceans has become too treacherous, so pirates, privateers, and sailors alike have all taken to the sky in airships. The story follows four crew members of the ship the Uhuru as they try to make the ship profitable all while trying to hide from the rest of the crew that the captain has long since died and the doctor has been puppet-ing his corpse for weeks now.
How is it queer? I am still in the early stages of the podcast so there may be more queer characters later, but off the bat there is Gable who is the quarter master of the ship. Gable is non-binary.
These are not the only podcasts that fit the bill, but these are the ones I listen to. I’d also like to give a special mention to most other seasons of Dimension 20. There are a ton more, and you’re likely to get at least one queer character per season. However, I wanted to keep it to things you could find for free. Fantasy High and The Unsleeping City are both free on YouTube, but all other Dimension 20 seasons are on the streaming service dropout tv (which I do recommend getting because they do a lot of other good shows too.)
Feel free to add more shows in your reblogs!
#dimension 20#fantasy high#welcome to night vale#the unsleeping city#tuc#wtnv#naddpod#bahumia#eldermourne#taz#the adventure zone#the adventure zone amnesty#taz amnesty#taz balance#skyjacks#the adventure zone balance#alice isn't dead
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do you have a strange blorbo? a real oddity? well, submit them here!
here at the weirdest blorbo throwdown, we truly love and appreciate every single weirdo this website has to offer. so much, in fact, that i want to make a group of them fight to the death. submit your favourite here:
rules:
for the sake of fairness, there's only one blorbo allowed per source material UNLESS they come as an inseperable pair. in the case of an inseperable duo, they compete together. as besties. or possibly worsties
no Harry potter characters sometimes i like to feel happiness. any other source of material is fine though teehee
i am so sorry. no real people. the characters someone plays are allowed, but no actual people
the character has to be canonically strange or unsettling in a notable way
we are only accepting thirty two submissions at first. in the case of a second round, any late submissions that didn't make the cut this time around will be automatically placed in the second round
have fun, be nice, stay eternally silly
all confirmed participants will be listed under the cut. i am submitting my own champion too, but i will keep it a secret who they are until their elimination or in the event they win. somehow
confirmed fighters: (please let me know if i've misspelled anyone's name) (this is also subject to change. i am going purely off of submissions at the moment)
Ace - The Powerpuff Girls
Gubble D. Gleep - Gubble
Stephanie McGermanotta - Entropic Float
Minion - Megamind
Magical John and Twitch Chat - RTgame Miitopia
Elijah Volkov - Camp Here and There (the funniest submission i've gotten yet)
Lilo - Lilo and Stitch
Simpson the cat - fleetways sonic the comic
floofty fizzlebean - bugsnax
aha - honkai star rail
SCP 2030 - The SCP Foundation
The Showman - Welcome to my nightmare
Sgt. Norm Allan - Dialtown
the Administrators - ADAMANDI
Tomodatchi - Vocaloid
Loraine - Guardian Tales
josafat - benedikt bualfur (WHADDA HELL IS THAT)
Baroness Von Bon Bon - Cuphead
Rabbit - Steam Powered Giraffe
Terezi Pyrope - Homestuck
ENA - Joel G
Air Force One Angel - The Monument Mythos
Orin Scrivello - Little Shop of Horrors
Trexel Giestman - Stellar Firma
Idia Shroud - Disney Twisted Wonderland
Agnus - Devil May Cry 4
Blue - Test Subject Blue
Kat - Kid Vs Kat
Jevil - Deltarune
El Seed - The Tick
Dejiko - Fi Gi Charat
Solaire - Dark Souls
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Bewitched - part 2
Bewitched - part 1
100 followers commemoration!
summary: JJ and Y/N have problems with their FwB relationship.
Warnings: mentions of 18+ content
2.193 words
pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!reader
a/n: 100 followers!!! Thank you so much for the supporting. I gladly came back with a part 2 of this friends to lovers fic. Hope you enjoy.
Requested by: @maybank-archives @bookishbabyyy @emberlum3
--★--
Y/N was still a little sore that day, even when JJ dropped her at home, - planting a wet kiss on her lips holding her face between his hands, saying she was the prettiest girl on earth - when she avoided her parents cause of her foggy weed hangover, when she stayed under the lukewarm water in the shower, she still felt him inside her, still felt the desire of being under him, around him, even more stronger than she was feeling before, that's what got her working her fingers on her clit.
They were high when it happened and, of course he had said the most sweet things anybody ever told her, but maybe JJ didn't had time to put his brain back in his skull, maybe his heart wasn't fully awake. She promised herself that would never happen again, so she kept herself busy, with her fingers and vibrators, anything that wasn't him, it was better this way, she didn't wanted to lose his friendship.
All times he came to kiss her, she kissed his cheek, when his arms rounded her waist, she petted him on the head, she thought he would be mad, but all he did was laugh and do the same back. So she confirmed in her mind: It's okay, he just felt the same. We are good friends and that's everything we need to be.
Oh how wrong she was.
There she was again, opening the Chateau's door, calling for JJ, hoping John B. wasn't around because she wanted to kiss JJ in every corner of the house. She couldn't find him, though, the reality hitted her hardly, she turned around, ready to go away and pretend, to herself, that it never happened when she bumped into his chest, shirtless and wet chest.
"What's up?" he asked, putting the surfboard apart. Oh God, he had just come back from surfing. How she loved to see him like that, all wet, hair dripping salt water, except that now he was more dried from the walk, and it made she think about what she missed; him, surfing alone, tonned body all on display.
"So...?" he asked again, she forgot she was no able to stop in time to admire him.
"I... I just - wanted to smoke. With you." she said/spilled/confessed hoping he would understand and not understand what she meant. But he did, smirking lightly, not wanting to act haughty and scare her away.
"Okay." he threw a towel over his shoulder looking around for his magic box "Do you wanna go to my room or...?"
She felt a heat in her face, sure she was blushing so she reached for a cup of water, shrugging. "Whatever." And added to sound more natural. "Just had a really tough day so anything would be nice." It was true though, she had a tough day since she woke, had dreamed with the night in his room, woke up late, flustered and wet, and still pretended everything was fine when she just wanted him all the time since that day. He nodded, guiding her to his room with a hand in her lower back, they sat on the bed, front to front, he mindless rubbed the sand off his feet.
"I think Lemon Tree would be good for you, but I have Double Banana Tangie if you rather..."
She just stared at him, in her mind there were only two thoughts: Do it or don't do it.
"Don't make fun, I wanted to try citrus and Banana Tangie is like banana-flavored Laffy Taffy. What do you want?"
Her body moved by its own, hands reaching for his face, mouth reaching for his lips. He corresponded with the same intensity and there they were again, tangled in the bed, clothes threw on the floor, whimpers, moans, groans in the air. That's when she realized they couldn't be just friends if they were so obsessed with each other, so bewitched.
Hookups were frequent from then on, sneaking out from parties together, always taking too much to arrive, finding a way to be touching in any way. JJ was attaining to her, remembering her how pretty she was to him, how she caught him in her love spell and now he didn't wanted to leave.
It was no secret what was going on between them, the pogues knew, the only problem was the how JJ and Y/N deal with it, pretending nothing was happening besides simple hookups between friends and we all know what happens with a friends with benefits relationship.
About a week ago, Y/N was sleeping in JJ's room in the Chateau, the boys bubbling woke her up, looking through the window it was already night and she was so satisfied from the evening with JJ that the irritation of being awake quickly dissipated. She went to bathroom trying to take the sleep off her when the sound of her name being mentioned reached her ears.
Opening the door, the boys conversation getting more clear. "So you're not asking Y/N to be your girlfriend?" Pope asked. "You're together all time, everybody thinks you already dating."
JJ scoffed lightly. "That could never work." he simply spoke.
Y/N boiled up to her head. How could he say that? After all the sweet bullshit he said to her. She banged the bathroom door behind her, entering the room to get everything that belonged to her she could find on the floor, shoving into her bag, rushing out past the door.
"Y/N wait! Where you going?" he confusingly asked.
She turned around, JJ swore he could see steam coming out of her ears. "Fuck you JJ."
Now, shit. She got it wrong. That's why you shouldn't talk about someone when they may hear.
He didn't found the strength to go after her, deep inside he knew he'd fuck it up, but not so early.
Day after day, his calls went to voice mails, her dad was pissed and tired of telling JJ to not knock on the door again, he even climbed to her window, as a ultimate try, but she refused to open, leaving the bedroom the minute she saw him through the glass, looking so regretful she almost gave in, when she came back there was a piece of paper on the windowsill, hold down by a seashell and a rock.
"Talk to me. You cant leave a bewitched man hopeless in love like this."
She almost cried, angry and confused, how could he talk about them like that, saying they would never work, when they were still sleeping together, and then beg for attention like she didn't had a reason to avoid him. There's no way she was facing him this early, so for the rest of week she made sure he would see her, but know she wasn't talking to him, crossing the street to not pass by him, not going to the Chateau, ignoring him in every way possible, she wanted to torture him, to make clear what she felt.
Kiara was the first one to position abou it, she had enough, one of her friends was walking around miserable and the other was no longer to be seen, talking to the rest of the group they created a plan and it was all happening that Saturday. It was their day off so there was no way they could escape, so when the sun rised John B., Pope and Kiara were in the front of the Chateau, John B. made sure all the windows and doors (except the front one) were closed and locked while Kiara typed Y/N's number in the phone. Y/N cover her head with blanked when her phone started ringing, but it made it stop, her hand slipped to the top of the commode, groaning as she picked up. "What?" she grumbled.
"Y/N! You have to come to the Chateau right now! JJ is crazy, he's freaking out, you have to come! He's only asking for you." Kiara said, trying to sound as more apprehensive as possible.
"Okay. I'm going." Y/N softly answered, quickly hanging up, her mind running miles an hour, but the only think she could focus on was being there to JJ. Cause he was her friend after all.
No.
He's was the one she loved. And think that only made she rush.
But she didn't know the same was happening to him, Pope just called JJ, saying the same and he was already getting up, grabing the first - dirty - shirt he found on the floor and his dad passed out on the couch didn't meant a thing as he made his way to his motorcycle. If something happen to her, he would never forgive himself. He didn't even mind to park his bike as he arrived, the house was empty though, there was nobody to see so he thought the worse. Ready to leave straight to her house - or worse, the hospital - he heard her voice.
"JJ?" she yelled, sounding like a beg to her ears, a beg that he was okay, sounding to him as the most melodic sound he heard in the last few days.
She was in the door way, sweatshirt loose covering half of her biker shorts, flipflops on, a bandana holding her hair down. JJ was relieved she was there, and fine, but couldn't help to think he was the most idiot guy in the whole planet for causing the distance between them when he could be holding her tight against him.
He putted his hands on the pockets of his moletom pants, she stare at him, trying to process whatever was wrong. He seemed alright, messy blonde hair, bright blue eyes staring back at her, kinda confused, kinda scared, kinda sad. Y/N felt her heart broke a little for him, cutting the distance between then she reached for his face, looking around for any cuts or bruises.
"Are you okay? You hurt?" she asked.
"Why would I be?" he asked back.
The door behind shutted with a bang, a key sound locking it. Y/N quickly tried opening, miserably.
"What the fuck?" she yelled.
"Make it up to each other." The pogues yelled back.
It was hardly long minutes she spent trying to shake the door open. JJ was trying to find the right thing to say, but his throat felt closed.
Y/N turned around, giving up the door. Seeing each other standing there, like they weren't best friends - crazily in love - made their hearts hurt a little.
"I have anything to apologize for." Y/N started.
"I know."
They sitted on the couch, far away. Y/N was feeling the words piling in her head, stuck in her chest, ready to be spilled.
"How could you say that?" "I'm sorry..." " Shut up! You have being talking way to much. And I don't have a chance to say how I feel?!" She gulped, to see if it could hold the tears back. "You said sweet things to me and you kept sleeping with me, but going around and saying we could never work? So what were you trying to do with me? Keep yourself busy?"
"No! I wasn't." he swore, eyeing the floor instead of her, he could feel she staring at him, and he could feel the pain in her gaze, the one he caused. "I know what I said was fucked up. God! I know I fucked everything and that's such a shit, because it's what I've being afraid of."
The things he practice to say to her when he had a chance disappeared from his mind. But he knew how to confess to her, he couldn't lie to her. So he looked in her eyes. "I thought we could never work out, because I would screw it, because I'd make you feel like this. If we kept just in the friends line maybe we could go back. But I can't. Y/N. I'm SO in love with you. I'm sorry I didn't knew that earlier."
"Do you know it now?"
"Yes, I do." he fastly answered. "Please forgive me, we can go back to being just friends, I don't wanna lose you."
"I don't wanna be your friend, JJ. Because I'm SO in love you." she smiled.
He excitedly got closer, still not touching her, afraid of doing something wrong. "So it's okay?" she nodded, biting her bottom lip lightly. "Good, I'm so in love with you."
"Then shut up and kiss me."
And he did. Passionate and full of certainty, he cared her lips with his own, she putted his hands on her waist, he didn't lost time to bring her closer. "I want to be my girlfriend, I would do anything to not fuck it up. I promise." he whispered between kisses.
"I'll be. You can talk to me, we can work this together."
Her back met the sofa as he leaned over her, starting to kiss not only her mouth, but her neck, and cheeks, forehead, any place he could reach, she was all giggles.
"God! What is this spell?"
#jj maybank#obx fanfiction#jj maybank fanfiction#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank smut#jj mayback imagine#jj maybank x you
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John's pathetic new life.
-Next, please!-
I got up from my seat that I shared with a dozen people, among them some girls, some boys, and some single mothers, a guard checked my nametag one last time and let me enter a tiny corridor with photography signed by some famous wrestlers who had fought in that same place, including the person who brought me here tonight.
I was totally nervous my knees were shaking with every step I took towards John Cena's private dressing room, sweat was accumulating on the fabric under my armpits The sweat from my forehead would not stop falling into my eyes until I took a handkerchief from my pocket and he cleaned me until the handkerchief was completely wet, I left the dirty handkerchief in a trash can and then he bought to see while he continued walking How many handkerchiefs were still left I was not surprised that I only had one left today it was hot as hell in the sand wrestling, luckily I wouldn't need them anymore.
This was the fifth time that I had entered his private dressing room And maybe this was my 17th fight, I had tried to do this the last time I was close to John Cena like this but I was a coward, in the end, There is not a night that I will not think of using this magical amulet which exchanges the weapons of 2 or more people who touch the amulet at the same time, but now it was decided.
I kept walking until I entered an elegant room with a couple of people, a photographer was counting down to be able to take a good photo of John Cena and his childish fan. When he was finally free, the little boy ran into his mother's arms I kept seeing John's handsome face, that look of sexual desire on his face was so obvious I couldn't help but feel a little envious.
They both left after receiving a photo and thanking the giant who was wearing an elegant blue suit, the thin cloth could barely contain the huge arms, I wiped the sweat with my arms and checked once more that the magic stone was still there. It was still in my pocket, I passed my hands over the cloth feeling with my fingers the hardness of the magic Rune that I had bought on the deep web, I had spent all my savings and got a second mortgage.
After John said goodbye to the small family John talked to another man in a suit, thinner and looking similar to a weak middle-aged nerd, maybe he was his representative or something, John Lucia was a little tired or maybe annoyed to be wearing a fancy suit instead of a tank top and basketball shorts.
When they both noticed that there was another "customer" at the door, I heard John's powerful and masculine voice asking me to come closer, his smile was charming, his hair was perfectly styled, and I couldn't help but my cock suddenly hardened a little, Thanks to god my dick isn't big enough to show through my pants, but all that would change now.
I walked over to where he was sitting and I sat next to him, he slowly stretched out his huge arm toward me. The cameraman motioned to me to let me know that he was ready to take the "souvenir" photo. I forcefully grabbed the rune that was in my pants and I reached out my other hand to shake John's hand.
The moment our hands touched the rune in my pocket reacted, and a small glow began to emanate from the strange runestone hidden in my pants. He only had one chance to steal her perfect body, after which the rune would become an extremely expensive paperweight.
The rune's power ran through my body, numbing each one of my muscles, and John's surprised and surprised face confirmed that I wasn't scammed by some guy on the internet.
I couldn't stop looking into John's eyes as my body went completely numb. The camera flash came at the exact moment my soul was shot into John's body, my consciousness separated from my body and traveled to the body. of John, I had no control over what was happening to me, my Consciousness stayed in John's empty head, and at the same time, John's consciousness stayed in my old body.
After a simple blink I could see again but this time it wasn't with my eyes. In front of me was a pathetic middle-aged man bald and out of shape, with an untidy beard and sweat stains under his armpits, the small smile on his face quickly disappeared, and he looked down, and instead of seeing his muscular body just, I look at the sad body of a fanatic.
John stood up to inspect his new smaller and weaker body as the sensations in our bodies slowly returned, the first thing I could feel was tremendous confidence from the new sensation of my massive muscles, I had made it now John's body was totally mine and I felt extremely horny.
Without saying a single word I stood up, I thought I would have to get used to my new height, weight, or muscles but everything felt so natural that I didn't have to force myself to fully control John's body, it was as if he had always been there been my body.
I left the confused little bald man behind as he tried to understand why he was now in the pathetic body of the fan that a moment ago had paid just for a shake of his hand and a picture like the rest of the sheep following their brawny god, but For John, all that was over. Now the only way he could see the fighting arena again would be by sitting in front of a television in his new home.
The representative, the photographer, and the security guards subdued John leaving him on the ground with a single blow to his stomach, he felt so weak and pathetic that the only response to the crash was to fall to the ground on his knees while crying like the fag that now was.
While "John" distracted the others, I calmly walked towards the private bathroom of John's elegant dressing room without stopping smiling for a single second. The only problem I had now was the size of my colossal erection that painfully exaggerated between my muscular legs. , I began to undress on my way to the bathroom exposing my huge veiny arms, and my huge pecs.
When I finally found the bathroom, I did not hesitate to undress completely and pose in front of the mirror to be able to admire the perfection of my new body, I did not hold back any longer, I approached the mirror putting my face just a couple of inches from my My own reflection, I scanned every sexy wrinkle in my new face from top to bottom and couldn't help it.
My tongue began to play with the cold mirror in front of me. Using my 2 hands I massaged my huge cock while trying to contain the cum inside my balls, I was so horny that I was able to masturbate right after the change and I wouldn't last more than 30 seconds without ejaculating, but I wanted to keep this moment the first moment of my new life.
The male moans escaping from my mouth could be heard even outside the bathroom but I didn't give a damn. I was the fucking John Cena and no one could stop me, I walked away from the mirror without stopping looking at my face, an involuntary smile appeared on my lips when I looked at my idol completely naked in such an erotic pose.
A final roar left my mouth as I ejaculated on the bathroom mirror dirtying my own reflection. Maybe the real John would be furious if he knew all the things I've done to his body and how many fans I've fucked after every fight. But he's been too busy trying to fix his new life as a balding, middle-aged loser. Maybe if he works hard he can buy another rock…in 30 years.
And I… well I'm fucking rich now I live in John's mansion, I sleep in his bed and masturbate to the smell of the dirty clothes I wear after putting on an excellent show for all my fans, life couldn't be better… at less for me.
sup guys! I'm back with another one of my old stories, if you want to see my 200+ stories you can take a look at my patreon and support me to continue creating bodyswap stories.
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Welcome New Player. Please select your character.
Current Playable Characters can be found under #Player Character
New Player Characters can be unlocked via Asks, and can be found under #PC Submission
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#epprbcu#not rpg#character select#lore#ooc#punctuationverse#exclamation point pfp rpg blog cinematic universe#pinned post#intro post#select speaks
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UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C
*NOTES; Harrowhark propaganda below John Gaius's due to post length! Additionally, tie sweeps require a 0.2% margin and one stated similarity between both characters.
John Gaius Propaganda:
MOTHERFUCKER YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID (kill literally the entire population of Earth, resurrect your friends but rewrite their memories, lie to them for 10,000 years).
lies every other sentence. pretends not to know things just so he can act shocked and appalled to discover them. literally calls himself god. is horrible to all his friends and is surprised when they turn on him because he's been so good to them. the third book of the series is intercut with little sequences where he's explaining how he didn't mean to cause the nuclear explosion that ended the world, honest, even if he was the one who detonated the bomb, and he's so good at making excuses you feel for him and think he's funny even while he's talking about the atrocities he's committed
Harrowhark Propaganda:
She gave herself a lobotomy and gives completely incorrect flashbacks to the previous book. Things that straight up did not happen. Gaslight gatekeep girlboss.
She’s schizophrenic (confirmed by the author) and also lives in a world with necromancy and ghostly revenants. She’s not just an unreliable narrator for readers, she’s an unreliable narrator of her own internal experience. She knows this and has to work with people around her to compensate for it. Descent into spoilerville below. Seriously Do Not Read if you want to read these books. There’s also the little matter about how she is *not actually the narrator* of a huge chunk of the story that we are initially led to believe is being told from her perspective.
(Spoilers) Holy shit she is THE most unreliable narrator. This gremlin gave herself a lobotomy so that she could forget about Gideon Nav, the most important person in her life (for magic soul-preserving reasons) so half of the second book in the series is spent gaslighting the reader about a book they just read. She comes up with an entire alternate version of the events of the first book in the series to carefully exclude any mentions of Gideon, and any time someone says ‘Gideon’ in front of her she LITERALLY has a stroke and/or an intercranial hemorrhage as her brain overwrites the word with someone else’s name. God occasionally intentionally triggers her memory revision to get out of difficult conversations. She also hallucinates ALL the time (unrelated to the lobotomy). She shows up at her frenemy’s room in the middle of the night (think little kid stumbling to their parents’ room and saying “I frew up”) to ask her to come check underneath her bed for the corpse that’s been wandering the space station. When frenemy checks underneath the bed, frenemy claims not to see anything, and Harrow is such an unbelievably unreliable narrator that it’s an open question in the fandom as to whether frenemy genuinely didn’t see the corpse or if frenemy was just yanking Harrow’s chain. Harrow is also haunted by a literal ghost that fucks up her already fucked up alternate history. Girlie will pick up a piece of paper and read from it the most violent and haunting piece of prose ever composed, when in reality all that’s written on the paper is the elementary school Superman S*. I am NOT joking that is a real goddamn scene. Harrow was created to win this poll. TLDR; she has brain damage and memory loss, she hallucinates, and is also haunted. * https://twitter.com/vestenet/status/1301012651145859072
Girl is so unreliable, she unreliably tells me events I was there for!!! She's retelling the previous book and I'm like "girlie, this is absolutely not how it happened". Also, she gave herself a DIY lobotomy, it has to impact your memory center I guess
She literally had a lobotomy, how can she be reliable
Rest of Propaganda under cut!
Harrowhark is simply the unreliable narrator of all time. Can’t remember shit because of a lifetime of trauma? Check. Maybe lying to yourself and those around you a bit? Most definitely. Being gaslit by the survivors you depend on to orient you to reality? For sure. How about a little bit of canon schizophrenia? She’s got it all. Ghosts? Or something? Spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are not perceivable by others? Sure, sure! But how about spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are gonna use you to hijack others’ bodies and maybe kill God, too? Absolutely. Wee bit of DIY brain surgery? If it would make you an unreliable narrator, friends, then Harrowhark Nonagesimus has been there, been subjected to that!
Okay I don't know that much about this series since I haven't convinced myself to read all of the first book, but this is my blorbo in law so I'd feel bad not spreading propaganda (all of what I'm saying is something I've read, as to prevent myself from straight up submitting misinformation). So all of Harrow's unreliable narration takes place in the second book, Harrow the Ninth. Basically, without her even seemingto acknowledge it, Harrow's brain is very fucked up during this book, to the point where even she's not sure how reliable her narrative is. There's many questions left unclear as a result of her fucked up little brain, like what's real, what's fake, whether we can trust her judgement, whether even she can trust her own judgement, whether her original cavalier is dead or not (Harrow is convinced she is), etc. Let me tell you, I adore unreliable narrators who aren't even that sure if they're reliable. I have yet to eat that trope up here in this circumstance, but this poll might not run again by the time I do, so for now, here's my messed up blorbo in law.
OKAY SO REMEMBER MY GIDEON SUBMISSION? HARROW DOESN’T! SPOILERS AHEAD BECAUSE SHE LOBOTOMIZED HERSELF TO FORGET GIDEON BECAUSE THAT’S A HEALTHY WAY TO GRIEVE AND THEN IN THE ONLY PARTS OF HER BOOK THAT SHE NARRATES (THE REVISED CANAAN HOUSE PARTS) IT’S LITERALLY A ROOM FULL OF GHOSTS HER BRAIN SUMMONED TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT SHE CUT HER BRAIN IN HALF TO FORGET GIDEON. she also is a) haunted and b) psychotic, experiencing hallucinations her entire life of both the ghosts haunting her and less supernatural hallucinations- bells tolling, bones rattling, her parents (some of the only dead people NOT haunting her), etc! in the revised history of canaan house that her brainghosts invent, she brings along someone who knows about her psychosis to help reality check her when she tells him go! her caregiver as a child and support when she got older, crux, is a horrible man- but at one point, when someone other than harrow is in harrow’s body and tells him “i am not harrowhark, i am sorry,” his response is simply “aye, you’ve said that before too. who are you then, if not my lady harrowhark?” showing his familiarity with her psychosis and his love for the child he wouldn’t dare see as a daughter. but enough about that lets talk about her unreliable narration! she lies about her feelings of course but she also simply hides the truth from everyone, all the time, compulsively. also literally the entire section of her book that she narrates is a lie she’s telling US about a lie she’s telling HERSELF and no one understands even a little bit of the truth until like the last act of the book. queen.
#unreliable narrator battle#unreliable narrators#polls#side c#john gaius#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrowhark
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hello i saw on ur twitter that you read alot and do you have some book recommendations? im open for anything
1 The Prince of Milk by Exurb1a = if you're like me and can't read any mr. gaiman books bc his writing style bores you to death then this might be for you. really fun cosmic horror/ scifi book. there's some gore, lots of death and a character who's been battling constant suicidal thoughts with several suicide attempts under her belt, so pls be careful
2 The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly = it's about the dark and twisted nature of fairytales, plays during WW 2 and covers difficult topics like loss and death. There's also some murdering and sick experimentation going on, like sewing a human's head on an animal's body etc.
3 Prosper's Demon by K. J. Parker = quick and fun read with an interesting take on exorcism and demon handling. loved the main character's interactions with the demons and how he solved his problems in the book lol
4 Afterlove by Tanya Byrne = sweet book about girls falling in love and then unapologetically staying in love for the rest of the book. srsly, they're so sweet :')
5 All of Us Villains by Amanda Foody and Christine Lynn Herman = YA about teenagers killing each other in a blood tournament with an intersting magic system. pretty dark, lots of blood and injuries, actual death and, of course, feelings. funniest straight bait i've seen in a while, promising gay romance (not confirmed yet but it's hinted at and I hope we'll see it come true in the sequel). it's a bit of a pynch situation, just with more murder :)
6 The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern = it was recommended to me as a love letter to literature and it really didn't disappoint. one of my favorite books I've read this year. also gay with lovely characters and a stunning world, but has unfortunately one-dimensional and flat villains. it's literally about being gay and liking books (didn't like the pop culture references at the beginning but thankfully that stops after a few chapters)
7 Bunny by Mona Awad = AHHHHHHHH I LOVED IT SO MUCH. really, really, REALLY fucked up. I srsly don't recommend it if you don't like horror and gore and murder. feral women becoming even more feral, committing some actual atrocities most dark academia books don't dare to mention. the main character is bi. the book even made me tear up at the end bc of how it handles the topic of loneliness and despair
8 If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio = you probably witnessed me losing my mind over this book on twitter when i live-tweeted my reading journey. nothing has changed, i still think about this book daily. it's one of the books i'm gonna draw fanart for once i'm done with all of my exams. i can't put into words how much i love it, it makes up like 60% of my personality by now. oliver and james are the bitches i will still cry about in 30 years. the book has one of my favorite endings of all time tbh
9 The Secret History by Tonna Tartt = We've all read it. It's one of my favorites
10 Piranesi by Susanna Clark = it's one of those books you shouldn't know ANYTHING about when going itt, which makes it hard to recommend bc I refuse to say anything about it. If you like dark academia then maybe give it a try. I loved it a lot. it's weird but has a very special place in my heart. pls don't look up th plot. pls don't. srly
11 Wicker King by Kayla Ancrum = it has a really interestng fantasy concept i wish we would've seen more of. it's about two best friends becoming more and more obsessed with each other while losing themselves in their.... uh.. "game". really felt for them and their desperation to stay together
12 Horseman by Chhristina Henry = a dark retelling of the legend of sleepy hollow with a trans main character who i ADORE and still think about daily. again, lots of death and gruesome, gory scenes. really cool concept. have i mentioned that i love the main character? bc i really love him
13 Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro = if you're interested in scifi that's not a grand and overwhelming space opera than pls give this book a try. it's about AI and the appreciation of life, how do deal with sickness and destiny and loss without losing hope
Hope these help a bit. idk why but i prefer reading about unhinged and sad characters in summer. makes me feel good somehow <3 sorry if these are too depressig for you!
#yeah i love reading#yeah...#yeah#maybe ask me in a few weeks again#i have some more promising books lined up i wanna read next
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Subject ID: 000259
Current Name: Jeremy Hale
Known Aliases: Francois, James McHale, Jonathan Halberg
Immortality Status: Confirmed
Immortality Type: Eternal Youth
Cause of Immortality: Genetic
Date of Birth: 1750s (est)
Place of Birth: France
Current Residence: New York City, New York, United States
Subject Status: Cooperating
Discovery: Evidence of immortality tied to NY resident Jeremy Hale (false age at the time: 41) circulated in online immortality fandom forums. Evidence picked up by IPA agents during routine sweep. Further investigation confirmed the suspicion. After Mr. Hale’s risk factor was calculated to be low, an agent approached him with the evidence. Mr. Hale confirmed the reports and confessed immediately.
According to him, he stopped aging around the age of 35. After the death of his parents, he moved to Paris under a new name and identity. He has been repeating the cycle of moving and taking on new identities while keeping a low profile until he was contacted by the Immortality Protection Agency.
Subject ID: 001106
Current Name: Kaira Agarwal
Known Aliases: N/A
Immortality Status: Near Certain
Immortality Type: Invulnerability
Cause of Immortality: Unknown
Date of Birth: 09/01/2022
Place of Birth: India
Current Residence: Mawlynnong, Meghalaya, India
Subject Status: Under IPA Care
Discovery: Delhi offices were alerted to a possible case after reports of a “miraculous survival” of a 4 months old girl in a house fire that killed her family in the town of Tura, Meghalaya.
Agents secured the infant from the hospital the next day. Hospital workers reported difficulty inserting IV drip in child. Neighbors who were questioned reported not recalling the child ever being sick. Delhi office director Adam Singh suggested testing extent of invulnerability. Suggestion rejected.
The child was given to the care of agent Amata (Subject ID: 000017) in an IPA convent in the nearby village of Mawlynnong.
Legal battles with the child’s extended family are ongoing.
Subject ID: 000003
Current Name: Unknown - Codename: M
Known Aliases: The Blue Magus, Malifrei, Marcinus, Mammon, Mereidenes, Merlin, Morton Manfred, Michael Manfred,
Immortality Status: Confirmed
Immortality Type: Possession
Cause of Immortality: Magical
Date of Birth: 400s BCE (est)
Place of Birth: Unknown - Possibly Greece
Current Residence: Unknown
Subject Status: Hostile - At Large
Discovery: M is one of 7 known individuals included in the database upon formation of the Immortality Protection Agency. A hundred years before formation, in 1891, London-based consultant detective Sherlock Holmes discovered M (then prossessing the body of Michael Manfred) while investigating the mysterious death of his father Morton. M’s identity was given away when Holmes caught him having knowledge that only his late father could’ve known and which he couldn’t have possibly told him, being non-verbal in his final years.
As it turned out, Morton was possessing his son’s body, a process which killed his previous host’s body and erased the new host’s personality. In a sense, it was the still walking Michael who was murdered by his deceased father. The possessed Michael escaped Holmes. The following year the detective died. He suspected that Morton was not the murderous immortal’s first host, but he could not confirm it.
The case was recorded by Holmes’ companion and assistant John Watson but was never released to the public. Following research by the IPA and other agencies confirmed several other identities of M going back to the 1st millennium BCE.
M has continued evading law enforcement around the globe and the IPA to the present. Records confirm that he changed hosts at least 12 times since 1891. The last known possession was in 2017.
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Thoughts on 1x12-1x22! Tbh I'm happy to be done with S1 while I liked the nostalgia, I have some gripes with this season and IMO it's really not one my favorites in the overall series (I know that's controversial). The mythology was great and I loved the magical macguffins but it's just so dramatic all the time I felt. My memory of this season is terrible and I had forgotten a lot of movement in the plot so sometimes I felt like I was watching something new. S2 will probably be easier for me to get through. More under the cut and remember these are all my opinion and I am not here to argue about them :)
Yeah I completely forgot it was Anna who turned Logan and her dumb henchmen. Will miss her, she knew how to use minions to not get her hands dirty.
I really felt bad for Jeremy. His relationship with Anna was cute but tragic and then he has to deal with his sister lying to him all the time. Then giving him sad eyes to please forgive her she was just protecting him *rolls eyes* he should have gotten the chance to kill Damon at least once.
I love how uneasy Uncle John makes Damon. He's the only one who is unmoved by his attempts at charm and you can see how much it annoys Damon that he knows EVERYTHING. I also appreciate that John doesn't care that everyone hates him. Just a man on a mission.
It was jarring how long Bonnie was gone but could not help but clap at how she was like 'fuck y'all' when she returned after what happened to Grams. I did not remember this and was very pleased with the development! I also forgot the awful wig they gave her when she returned (thankfully it looked much better in the finale) Kat should have sued.
I swear there was a founding-family-mystic-falls-event every single episode in the second half of the season and that plot device has really started to run it's course for me. Unfortunately I've got at least two more seasons of it I think *deep sigh*
My god do I hate Matt and Caroline, I hate the way they frame EVERYTHING with Caroline having to be ‘notElena’ with him. I especially got annoyed in 1x14 when she had to keep giving him “speeches” to apologize for BEING HERSELF. Especially apologizing for the hand holding like Matt doesn’t constantly make her feel inadequate next to Elena. Matt telling Caroline he just needed to be alone after they found Vicki's body and then when he sees Elena he hugs her is just cruel.
The overall treatment of Caroline this season was honestly the worst part for me. The fact that they have her say "I'm a terrible awful person but I'm working on it" ?? In what context is Caroline an awful person especially on a show where characters are literal serial killers. This is exactly where the "Caroline was annoying in S1 but got better" nonsense comes from. When really she was just a 17 year old girl with a type A personality. This is probably the biggest reason I struggled watching this season. It just all felt very deliberate in the way it was written, to make the viewer think Caroline is annoying.
Stefan was better in the second half of the season but it was so LOL that the moment he started being a little fun Elena was like "what's wrong with you" HA! Of course something was wrong and kudos to Paul because the Stefan-blood-addiction storyline was really well done . I always liked how it was played as an addiction (and even better in S6 when they confirm it was a genetic thing with Lily as addiction is usually genetic). I have seen most of those scenes tons of times but watching them in succession again made me appreciate it again.
I truly don't like Damon :-/ his only purpose for me currently is he makes me laugh. I can't stand how he acts like he knows everything and is orchestrating everything when really he's kind of a moron and extremely impulsive. Genuinely what was his plan killing John and throwing him off the roof at the 8th straight founding family function? I wish Bonnie had kept her energy from 1x22 and killed him.
This is probably just bias and age but I don't care about the triangle at all. It's just kinda there doesn't move me. Stefan and Elena are very serious all the time (there is so much hugging). Then there's Damon and Elena who just eye-thing each other in every scene they share. Though I will say her wishy-washiness made it easier to believe she actually kissed Damon.
Katherine's reveal is still one of the best moments of the series (best part of season by far!) It was so funny watching the scene too knowing it's Katherine and how she just looked all moody as Damon gives her all the details she needs with zero strain on her part. Then when she says to Aunt Jenna "I don't want to talk about it" like a moody teenager LMFAO. I love her.
Lines that made me laugh:
Damon: Let's not kill anyone tonight. Your words. Just pointing that out. (ah the good ol' days when I enjoyed the Damon/Alaric friendship)
Stefan: You mean we did all that dancing for nothing (I know I keep saying he’s too serious but he is funny in a self-deprecating way)
#tvd rewatch#tvd spoilers#S1 rewatch#1x12 - 1x22#I honestly blame kw the most for the treatment of caroline this season#or really every female character but elena#and ultimately that's probably why he pushed what he did in the finale#but I need to do a full rewatch to really dissect and see if what I'm feeling is correct#especially need to watch caroline's journey#to really understand how much kw and jp were at odds#k rewatches tvd
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ASOS; Steel and Snow: 01 JAIME I (pages 18-32)
Brienne and Jaime, accompanied by Ser Cleos, begin the long journey to King's Landing under Catelyn's orders.
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An east wind blew through his tangled hair, as soft and fragrant as Cersei's fingers.
I feel like this tells us so much about Jaime, but also nothing we didn't already know. The boy is besotted.
...Jaime... stop calling Brienne 'the wench'... and also stop talking like that kind of asshole just to try and regain some of your perceived power in the situation, you're not in charge, you're just being an asshat.
"Lady Brienne?" She looked so uncomfortable that Jaime sensed a weakness. "Or would Ser Brienne be more to your taste?" He laughed.
I mean that depends on whether you consider Ser to be a man's title or a knight's title. irl the female equivalent of Sir/Ser is Dame.
Dame Brienne of Tarth.
But also if he doesn't stop heckling, I'm going to bust out the steel chair and bop him.
"Let Robert do as he pleases. I'll go to war with him if I must. The War for Cersei's Cunt, the singers will call it."
'Cunt' = 🥛
Oop, Jaime confirms he did not try to have Bran killed, and doubts Cersei was the culprit either, the suspects narrow!
We know who did it. But Jaime doesn't. I like that GRRM doesn't magical-hive-mind information, with as many characters as he has, it can be so hard to keep track of who knows what, and what the audience should know at any given point in time... actually, since I know from watching the show, I remember Tyrion had some very strong suspicions on who the culprit was, but I can't remember if he's wheedled a confession yet. That is the down side to only reading a chapter a day, by the time a play pans out, I've forgotten it was in the works, or the inverse, I remember that someone set a trap and forget it was already sprung XD
... okay, I'll admit it, Jaime's idea to give himself the Walter White aesthetic was a good one. Easy disguise with no magically appearing prosthetics, flips the traits he's known for and lets them stay lowkey on the journey.
A few one-room shacks came and went, perched on tall poles that made them look like cranes. Of the folk who lived there they saw no sign. Birds flew over head, or cried out from the trees along the shore, and Jaime glimpsed silvery fish knifing through the water. Tully trout, that's a bad omen, he thought, until he saw worse-one of the floating logs they passed turned out to be a dead man, bloodless and swollen. His cloak was tangled in the root of a fallen tree, its color unmistakably Lannister crimson. He wondered if the corpse had been someone he knew.
oooh, packed a bit into that paragraph. some lowkey world-building, a reminder that Shit Has Gone Down in the area, and a brief flash of humanising for Jaime. The wondering if he's known the dead feels like the first bit of sympathetic thought I've seen from him so far that's not self-or-cersei-centered. Oh, it's not exactly empathetic, like he doesn't sound like he's mourning this poor fallen John Doe, but it matters that he cared enough to wonder, implies connection to the Lannister men besides all being team Lannister. Jaime doesn't just know them, he knows some of them.
They sailed past villages but no villagers. An empty net, slashed and torn and hanging from some trees, was the only sign of fisherfolk. A young girl watering her horse rode off as soon as she glimpsed their sail. Later they passed a dozen peasants digging in a field beneath the shell of a burnt towerhouse. The men gazed at them with dull eyes, and went back to their labors once they decided the skiff was no threat.
You know what would have been hilariously ironic, but in the most frustrating way possible?
If that young girl with the horse had been Arya. If they had been so close to recovering Arya in that moment, but she noped out, there-by saving herself from the Red Wedding. (Assuming her recovery at this point doesn't change things like getting Rob caught up on the fact Roose Bolton is absolute (competent) garbage.)
Below, Jaime made out the smouldering remains of a large building, and a live oak full of dead women.
Hanging tree.
*suddenly, a volcano erupted directly under Roose Bolton and his forces, with more wrath and speed than expected, as if an angry god was responsible, the molten stone spewed forth and swarmed over those responsible for the atrocities, burning them to a crisp.*
Actually, fun fact, because lava and magma are liquid stone, the density means that human bodies would float, or, well, bob. The Golem scene from the end of the Lord of the Rings trilogy should be reversed, the Ring sinking and Golem bobbing back to the surface and slowly burning until his buoyancy is low enough for him to sink through the superheated sludge. I mean he'd likely be dead pretty quick from breathing superheated air before the meat really got cooking, so he would suffer for long, and that's assuming he survives the fall. People die from that height falling onto unbroken water and stone. guy totally should have died.
... sorry. too morbid?
Brienne moved the tiller and the skiff sheared left, sail rippling. Jaime watched her eyes. Pretty eyes, he thought, and calm. He knew how to read a man's eyes. He knew what fear looked like. She is determined, not desperate.
yay Brienne! Go! Go! Go! (and good job finally making some good observations Jaime... and he's already back to 'wench.')
... oh, but he's covering for Brienne's lack of cover by pulling aggro! Nice, TeamWork!
I mean, let's not start the bromancing just yet, at this point he's doing it because Brienne and her plan are his best chance at getting back to Cersei.
!!!! Brienne casts Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies! (well, not the TPK version, but she drop a rock "the size of a cow"! I love her so much!
Ser Cleos turned the skiff towards her. Thankfully, Jaime still had his oar. One good swing when she comes paddling up and I'll be free of her.
Instead, he found himself stretching the oar out over the water. Brienne grabbed hold, and Jaime pulled her in.
See, it's moments like this that give me such confliction with Jaime, it makes me want to say "because at heart he is a good man, who, though he struggles with it, wants to do the right thing, to be the Good guy."
And then I remember he threw an eight year old child out a window to his presumed death with zero hesitation, and I think "well clearly not, actually."
Ahhh, our first Jaime chapter, it's a little jarring to see inside his head, how he cares so little for people in general, like, his whole world is Cersei (and maybe Tyrion and their dad?) and everyone else doesn't seem to register much, but at the same time, there is some level of care, Jaime does show a goodness despite his attempted child-murder and treasoncest. Whether his care is long buried for tragic backstory reasons, or whether it's something that's never really had a chance or reason to grow... I guess we'll see.
More importantly: Jaime&Brienne BROadtrip: Commence!
We'll see how it goes in comparison to the show.
#a storm of swords#steel and snow#a song of ice and fire#jaime lannister#a chapter a day reading#asos#asoiaf
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Practically Magic
Chapter One - Homecoming
Summary:
Growing up in the same tiny mountain town, Y/N Owens and Dean Winchester despised each other. The only thing they ever agreed on was their need to escape. Life took them in opposite directions and neither of them ever looked back.
So, when their paths cross over a series of gruesome murders in their hometown it was no surprise that old friction heated up again.
Dean never dreamed he’d be teaming up with a psychic, the FBI frowned on that sort of thing, but he was desperate. When that psychic turned out to be Y/N Owens, Dean knew two things for sure. One, Y/N was the real deal and two, he was in real trouble.
Pairing: Agent!Dean x Psychic!Reader, Dean x Reader, AU Dean x You
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, John Winchester, Bobby Singer
Warnings: Slow Burn, Serial Killer Elements, Witches, Haters to Lovers, Claustrophobic Elements, Murder Scenes
Author’s Notes: This is an AU taking elements from the film Practical Magic and applying them to a fictional world where Dean Winchester is an FBI Agent. You will find parallels from that movie here, some quotes and other elements that capture the essence of the world of the Owens Witches. Hopefully!
Additional Author’s Notes: This is a unique reader insert story as I have given the reader a physical description including hair color, eye color and body type.
Additional Additional Author’s Notes: This was originally all one chapter and then I realized how long it was so you get two chapters posting at once! Call it an early Halloween present! Thank you all for your enthusiasm in anticipation of this story, hope you love it!
Chapter One: Homecoming
Word Count: 2697
Masterlist
Practically Magic Masterlist
“My darling girl, when are you going to understand that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage.” – Aunt Francis Owens, Practical Magic
Home. You were going home. After nearly eighteen months on a book tour that hit every state in the union and another twelve in L.A. working the film adaptation, Y/N Owens was going home.
The Witch in the Well had been a labor of love. A twisted fairy tale that was more than a little autobiographical. It shot to the top the New York Times best seller list and stayed there for a year. Like a comet streaking across the heavens, it came out of nowhere and took the world by storm. There were whispers early on calling you the next J.K. Rowling. Frankly, that was a can of worms on far too many levels. All you wanted to do was write, tell stories. To have enough success to pay your rent and buy a new pair of boots.
Your publicist had never seen anything like it. Everything was a green light. You were King Midas, everything you touched turned to gold. Unbelievable good luck. One in a million. A lightning strike! You had your suspicions that your family had used their collective mystical influence to tip the scales of the universe in your favor. Of course, you had no real proof. They were far too crafty to leave any sort of detectable evidence.
When you pressed the issue with your grandmother over a bottle of apple wine, she gave you the only confirmation you’d ever get.
Bah! People pray morning, noon, and night for the tiniest thing! Pray to make a yellow light. Pray the football team wins the big game. Pray the wife doesn’t notice the lipstick on the husband’s collar. Your book is brilliant and bound to be a success. It was only a matter of the right people seeing it. Call it luck if it suits you, but the universe has a way of balancing itself. After all this time, I’d say you were due for a bit of the good stuff.
Good stuff indeed! One minute you were renting a room above a garage in Portland, tending bar at night while you wrote during the day. The next you were checking your luggage on a first-class flight bound for New York. You had interviews on the morning shows and meetings with Hollywood executives in five-star restaurants. Five minutes of fame turned into a full-blown career that was not showing any sign of slowing down.
Of course, you’d never been any damn good at slowing down anyway.
A smile curved your lips as your foot pressed the accelerator. The Italian sportscar increased its already impressive speed, smooth as silk as it hugged the sharp curves of the narrow, mountain road. Blood red with leather seats, state of the art sound system, and a ridiculous amount of horsepower. Sex on wheels, it was purely to show off and you knew it. Going home was never easy for you. It meant facing reminders of a difficult childhood.
When your publicist suggested using your hometown as the location to launch the release of your second book, you immediately refused. It was tiny, remote, and no place you ever wanted to go back to. Unfortunately, you used it as the setting for your story. It put Silverton on the map in a big way. With the excitement already buzzing around the movie, it made good business sense to have a big bash for the next installment right where is all started. So, you relented. But you’d be damned if you were going to slink back quietly. Go big or go home. In this case, both.
You were too deep into Pink’s latest album to notice the blue and red flashing lights in your review. It took the sirens sounding to finally catch your attention. “Fuck,” you muttered, noting your speed at well over 100 mph. You quickly slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road. A simple charm for luck with the law passed your lips as you reached into the glove box and rolled down the window.
“Ma’am, do you have a valid reason for driving fifty over the speed limit?”
The registration and insurance papers kept sliding away from your fingertips. “Damn it,” you cursed, stretching further into the car. “Sorry, officer… this is a new car and I’m not really used to it.”
“Yeah, we don’t get many Maserati’s…. Y/N?”
You whipped your head around at the sound of your name in the pleasing baritone voice. The sheriff’s uniform and mirrored aviators suited him. No longer the boy you grew up with, still you’d recognize him anywhere, “Holy shit… Sam?”
He removed his sunglasses and smiled that lopsided smile that was oh so familiar. “Y/N Owens. It’s been a long time.”
“It’s been a lifetime.” You gave him an appraising once over. You had to admit, the years had been good to him. The Sam you remembered was a lanky, shaggy haired, over-grown puppy dog. A bit of a goofball but top of the class smart, and sweet as could be.
That first day of grade school, when everyone else avoided you like the plague, Sam came right up to you. Unbothered by the rumors that swirled around your family since before you were born.
“Hi, is it okay if I sit here?”
You looked up from your untouched lunch and saw a boy from your class standing beside you with a tray in his hands. You were completely alone. All of the other kids had clustered together on the other side of the cafeteria. Even the tables surrounding yours were empty. You were used to it and learned to be content with your own company. But being used to it didn’t make it easy.
“Hey, Sam! Over here!” A group of boys called to him, but he didn’t acknowledge them. He just kept smiling expectedly at you.
You always had a little trouble making friends. You seemed to say the wrong thing all the time. You’d blurt out secrets having no idea they were never meant to be uttered. Gran called it your gift, but it didn’t feel like one.
But Sam seemed different, felt different. He felt kind. When he smiled his eyes smiled too.
You shrugged, turning your attention back to the well-worn book in your lap. “Sure.”
“What are you reading?”
You held up the cover for him to see. It was one of the Chronicles of Narnia series.
Sam dug into his mac and cheese, “Cool! That’s a good one. Voyage of the Dawn Treader is my favorite, though.”
Your eyes widened. You were an advanced reader for your age, most of your classmates hadn’t even heard of those books let alone read them. “Mine too! I’ve read it like ten times!”
He grinned at you, “I’m Sam, by the way. Sam Winchester.”
You smiled back, a genuine smile for the first time that day. “Y/N Owens.”
“Sam Winchester turned Johnny Lawman. You look good kid; the badge works for you.”
“Kid.” Sam repeated with a smirk, “We’re the same age, Y/N. Although I’d say time’s been better to you. I found three gray hairs this month.”
“You poor bastard.”
“Seriously Y/N, this car,” he ran his hand over the open window, “The book selling business must be booming.”
“It is, but don’t be too impressed. It’s a rental,” you confessed. “A bribe actually, from one of the studios vying for the production rights.”
Sam whistled, “Life in the fast lane, huh?”
“Something like that. Figured what the hell, if I had to go home, may as well be in style. Besides, I only have it for a few days. The dealership in Denver is picking it up at the end of the week.”
“So, you’re staying for a while?” Sam couldn’t help sounding hopeful. “I was surprised when Viv said you were having your release party in Silverton. I didn’t think you’d come back, like ever.”
You weren’t sure how to answer. Sam was right, you never intended to come back. But now that you were just a few miles away from home, you felt a pull you hadn’t expected. The closer you got, the stronger it got. Something down deep was saying you were right where you needed to be.
“There’s just no telling what the future will bring.”
Sam chuckled, “Yeah okay, well you keep this beauty under eighty or your future is going to include a hefty speeding ticket.”
You winked, “No promises.”
He patted the roof of your car and put his sunglasses back on as he straightened to his impressive height. “Welcome home, Y/N.”
Silverton, Colorado. A bustling mining town when the west was wild, now little more than a brief stop on the tourist trail. A collection of historic store fronts lined main street. Largely unchanged from the day you left, except for the miraculous addition of the upscale bar in the Hotel Baker. Smack in the middle of everything stood The Compendium.
The ornate, two-story building once housed the general store and had been in your family since Silverton was first settled. Generations of Owens’ had provided the community with everything from dry goods to ammunition, usually with a bit of mystical advice on the side. Not all that different from today. When your grandmother, Vivienne took it over she moved the magic out of the shadows and put it front and center.
Hells bells, everyone knows what we are anyway! Time to come out of the broom closet!
Gran’s motto was if you couldn’t find what you were looking for in her store, it probably wasn’t worth finding in the first place. Which is how an eclectic shop like hers was able to draw customers from five states over. Gran was a finder; it was her gift. Misplaced car keys, missing estate documents, lost loves. You need something impossible? Odds were Viv Owens had it in her back room.
You checked your reflection briefly in the front display window, your eye catching a huge poster advertising a book signing and launch party. A blown-up picture of you from the dust jacket of the book stared back. Your nose wrinkled. You’d spent most of your life in this town trying to go unnoticed, now you were about to step into the biggest spotlight Silverton had ever seen.
Determined to play your part, you squared your shoulders and pulled open the leaded glass door. The place was packed. Just like the rest of downtown, there were people everywhere. Not even the Winter Festival brought this many strangers to town. Your publicist was right, this was going to be big.
You wove your way through the crowd, noting the impressive display of The Witch in the Well booksin the middle of the main floor. It fit right in with the rest of Gran’s inventory of altar tools and curios. It smelled the same, dusty books and candle wax. It felt the same.
One of Gran’s many cats stopped grooming itself to peer at you. It’s bright, amber eyes gleaming against thick, black fur. With the indifference of bored royalty, it flicked it’s tail and sauntered off towards the back of the shop. You followed.
“The cards said you’d be along today.”
“So did the itinerary I sent you,” You replied, stepping through the velvet curtains that hid the entrance to your grandmother’s office. The massive, white dog that was stationed at her feet came up to greet you. You rubbed behind her ears affectionately,
“And I texted you this morning.”
She kept her silver head bent over the ledger, entering numbers long-hand, as she plucked up a tarot card and held it up for your inspection.
Daughter of Swords. Truth and courage.
“Fair enough.”
Viv snorted and shut the ledger with a definitive snap. “I like the red,” she said, waving a hand at you, “That color always suited you.”
You ran a hand through your newly cut and colored locks. You never liked the way you looked. Your hair was a mousy cross between blonde and brown. Your short frame always seemed to carry extra pounds and your dark eyes made you look more serious than you were.
When the L.A. stylist asked you what you wanted her to do, you gave her free rein.
“Anything, just not this.”
“Let’s try this again, Sweetness. How do you want to feel?”
You stared at your reflection, determined that it would never be the same. “Strong.”
She cut your hair short, very short. Leaving a long, dramatic side-sweep of bangs in the front and dyed it a deep auburn. It transformed your face from somber to sexy. Made your eyes seductive and accented cheekbones you never noticed before. You worked with a trainer. While you never met the Hollywood standard, you did develop some muscle mass and a new appreciation for your body. Flaws and all.
“Thanks, Gran.”
Vivienne Owens stood from her desk. You’d always admired her effortless beauty. Wand slender with thick silver hair and deep, brown eyes that matched your own. She took your chin in her hand and gave you a long, hard look before nodding with approval.
A mischievous smile split her face and she winked. “Welcome home, darling girl.”
You smiled back and watched as she plucked a dry-cleaning bag from the coat rack and disappeared behind the carved dressing screen in the corner.
“You know you’re tempting the gods by hosting your shindig on Samhain.”
You perched on the edge of her desk, petting the black cat who had decided to reappear. “Donna thought it would be clever marketing to have it on Halloween night. You were the one who offered up the shop as a venue.”
Her voice was muffled through the rustle of clothes, “Its practically a blaspheme. Your cousins in Connecticut were particularly scandalized. I don’t care what your publicist says, it’s simply not done.”
Your ears perked up, “Connecticut? You mean Agatha and Aiden?” Your fingers stilled in the cat’s fur, “They aren’t coming, are they?!”
“Y/N, everyone is coming. The entire Owens clan has already R.S.V.P.’d. Which reminds me, the house is already filled with wayward relatives, so you’ll be bunking in the carriage house.”
“Fuck me.”
“Another blaspheme,” she admonished you. “I should charge you for that.”
You made a face at the screen. You were a grown woman, damn it. You were entitled to speak as you pleased. “Put it on my tab.”
“Rates have gone up, its twenty for the f-word. And don’t roll your eyes.”
Viv came out from behind the screen, smoothing her hands down her sides. The dress was elegant, just a simple wrap in black paired with silver jewelry. Perfection. Your Gran could have given Jackie Kennedy a run for her money.
“Got a hot date?”
Viv smiled and a man’s voice came through the thick curtain, “Knock, knock.”
Your eyes widened as a familiar face came through from the store, “Fuck me.”
“That’s another twenty.”
“Y/N, good to see you,” Bobby held out a wide hand to you, “Sam mentioned you were back.”
You shook his hand. Your eyes darting between the pair, and you wondered how long this had been going on. “Sheriff Singer.”
He chuckled, remarkably good natured. He wore a suit, an actual suit! Beard trimmed, hair combed, spicey aftershave. Almost unrecognizable from the man you knew growing up.
The Bobby Singer you remembered was a scruffy-looking, whiskey soaked, hard ass.
“Bobby is fine. Sheriff Singer is what the kids call me when I bust ‘em for drinking beer behind the bleachers.”
“Bob and I are going out for dinner,” Viv informed you as Bobby helped her into her coat. “Lock up when you leave and take Juno with you. Her kibble is in the mudroom, she gets three scoops.”
Bobby couldn’t help smiling at your bewildered expression. “Have a nice night, Y/N.”
The happy couple sailed out through the curtains, and you frowned down at Juno who thumped her tail in response.
“It’s great to be home.”
#dean x reader#dean winchester fanfiction#dean x y/n#agent!dean x psychic!reader#dean x you#dean winchester#jensen x reader#jensen x y/n#jensen ackles#supernatural#spn fic#Practically Magic
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What's interesting is if we'll see how the other characters will react to his decision to settle down. Aurora didn't seem to take it for granted. Obviously there's an expectation for him to marry and continue the family line. But I'm also sure others have picked up on him being a 'confirmed bachelor' or even a little bit 'artistic', if they are worldly enough. I actually suspect Ada could see Oscar being 'artistic', as she seems aware of some pretty modern concepts. She has read about gay people for sure... Agnes seems to be more likely to suspect him of having affairs with women, but she's probably in some hardcore denial. Then again, they have seen that it's not the kind of a trouble Oscar's got himself into. He's always been surrounded by single ladies, and plenty of them have probably been charmed by him, but his family has only seen him acting careless and even 'reckless' with other things.
ada knows a lot more than she lets on and is extremely perceptive, & we're going to see even more of that this season, i think (hence the ada talks about sex bingo square) but i do think after 1.07 it is likely she just has an idea now that oscar is being stealthy and that is all it must have been... although i also think she would have been more inclined to believe oscar when he denied the allegations than agnes for many reasons.
meanwhile agnes lives in denial and only knows things about oscar that she wants to, which includes things she made up, which includes that oscar is not having sex with women or anyone at all and is magically going to be a great lover to a nice wellborn young lady on their wedding night 👍 amen.
aurora....
i cannot fucking parse aurora is the thing. i think it is very telling that she reminds oscar she has Tried Helping Him [secure a wife] before and nothing came of it - and him saying he knows what to do now, and the way he is framing that element of their history and how receptive she is to that... i don't know what she was thinking (& we do know aurora acknowledges the fact that gay people exist.) but i think she's very susceptible to Oscar Just Needs To Find The Right Girl logic (i don't really think she wants her cousin and apparently the only young man alive with her maiden name* to be a permanent bachelor!) & i think oscar is going to lean into that hardcore.
tbh it is important to remind ourselves i think that oscar has a reputation as a fortune hunter before the series starts - but we can infer from his interactions with his family and with john especially that he has not been developing this reputation with much drive until within the first season, and then Everything Changes, as we very well know.
i think oscar is delulu <3 & thoroughly in denial if he truly genuinely thinks that nobody is Wondering about him yet, and he still has Time before this will happen. he is So gay. the show is taking steps to single him out in this regard in terms of e.g. fashion and bearing and manner and vocal qualities etc. he is Ticking Boxes. and generally oscar sees only what oscar wants to see.... i would say of his family members, aurora and ada are most likely to have Ever considered any of this in direct regards to oscar, and i think honestly they might not want to think about that for a variety of reasons and so maybe they haven't!
marian knows about gay people but needs impropriety explained to her with the subtlety of a brick to the face so she's not parsing that without evidence in front of her nose, imo. which is why i'm hopeful that she eventually is in a position where she does encounter and has to make a decision about what to Do with that evidence.
and agnes, as i've said above and elsewhere.... agnes doesn't see anything she doesn't want to and she has major blindspots about oscar for that reason.
* aurora van rhijn fane isn't Confirmed confirmed but also it. got pretty close on sunday so hoping we do get it ocnfirmed-confirmed by end of season.
#i know there are some people grumpy about the word delulu lately but i have bipolar disorder 👍 hope this helps#the gilded age spoilers#oscar van rhijn tag
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The best thing about Nona is the confirmation that John Gaius's/Alecto's/Gideon's golden eyes are not the result of his genetics but are in fact Certified Anime Magical Girl EyesTM.
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Sometimes I browse TV Tropes for new media to look into. In my journeys, I have noticed an "interesting" pattern, that surely none of us could have predicted (/s). Whenever I find media that specifically depicts TIMs as meaningfully being women, without question or doubt (as in, things that "only affect females" will affect them, and things that "only affect males" won't), the media in question is also undeniably fetishistic, specifically in a deeply misogynistic way, and often pedophilic.
In each of these pieces of media (none of which are considered porn), I have found at least five (but often more) of the following concepts having a fairly consistent presence: BDSM, women dressed as young and effeminate dominatrixes (regardless of their character), women and girls being made to worn (often exclusively) fetishized outfits, mind control, women's attractiveness to men being framed as a deliberate "trap" or lie, humiliation (always targeting the women and girls more than the males), depictions of incest, fetishization of incest, fetishization of little girls (often via manners of dress, ways of speaking, mannerisms, or interests associated with them) depictions of female suffering being given much more attention and (often intimate) detail than depictions of male suffering, female characters being made to suffer far more than male characters (in general), rape as a major plot point, pregnancy through rape as a major plot point, author's obvious urination kink, author's obvious scat kink, depicting prostitutes as "empowered over" and "in control of" their Johns (even if their Johns are men in positions of power, such as president of the country) while still having sex with them and enacting male fantasies, magic that stops women from aging, magic that stops girls (children below the age of 18) from aging, fetishization of lesbians, exoticism fetishes (racism and xenophobia), women (and even girls) being depicted as either Madonnas (typically either mother figures or female characters who can be seen as some gross combination of a daughter and a wife) or wh*res (typically depicted as evil), instances of male violence being justified or excused by the narrative, female on female violence being depicted as more prevalent or severe than male on female violence, and females regularly enacting (often outright sexual) sadism on other females in day to day life.
Additionally, I have noticed regular themes of mind/body dualism, individual exceptionalism / "One Great Man" / "chosen one" narratives, thematically xenophobic narratives (the "evil" force is some undefinable "outsider," or maybe multiple different kinds of "outsiders," none of which are framed as comprehensible or worth anything other than total destruction; "white savior" narratives are also common, although, this occurs in Japanese narratives with Japanese protagonists that are equally framed as more moral and sensible than "outsiders," as well), and tokenization of minorities.
I understand that this will likely be seen as my own derangement, by people who still believe in trans ideology. They will believe I'm cherry picking, or maybe that I'm actively seeking out degenerate media for my own purposes, and projecting onto a group I "unreasonably dislike." It's worth remembering that I found this information through TV Tropes' "Random Media" button, and I began noticing this trend well before I "peaked," as it's called (which is to say, when I still believed in trans ideology, myself). If I'm wrong, it's because of confirmation bias, and nothing else. I obviously doubt that's the case. The correlation has been to constant, from my observation, and it carries over to the interests of the "trans women" I have met. They, themselves, have told me they have these "interests"--And the ones that haven't clearly correlate femininity with womanhood by overperforming femininity in misogynistic and often infantilizing ways. Maybe I am deranged, but I believe it's worth looking into, if nothing else.
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