#Jane hilary | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

softpng · 2 years

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sometimes I think about that guy on amazon who reviewed pride and prejudice and did an entire angry, weirdly math focused rant about how awful darcy is and then ends it all with "I could carve a better man out of a banana"

#the funny thing about the review is that hes so right about most of his points but like #that's why the book is good BECAUSE darcy is super flawed and so is elisabeth and everyone else #also his criticism of how basically nothing happens in the book except them all going to each others houses #austen literally says that's love love is going to someone's home and love is looking across the dinner table at you and love is walking #love isn't grand gestures love is saying i love you in a fucking field bro #anyways i love pride and prejudice in postmodern context because it's absolutely hilarious and deeply relevant #pride and prejudice #jane austen

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the-magpie-archives · 1 year

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Jane prentiss so effectively impersonating Martin over text clearly means one of three things:

-Martin didn't text very much so it'd be hard to judge whether it was his typing voice or not. (unlikely)

-Martin texts in such an unpredictable way that such a change of tone wouldn't be weird. (possible)

-OR, Jane Prentiss scrolled through all his texts giggling and kicking her legs at his pitiful yearning, and copied him like a teenager role-playing their favourite fictional queer. (most likely)

#All over like Hehehehee he's such a silly little man!! Silly little gay person 🐛🦠🕷️#Tbh I bet Martin's attempted flirting through forced professional language would be absolutely hilarious #Flirting at work is an art form and Martin is a toddler with a crayon 😔 I still love him though #tma #the magnus archives #the magnus institute #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #jmart #Tma memes #Jane prentiss #Tma season 1

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diana-daphne · 2 months

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Mr. Knightly you are so not subtle I love you

#he’s so silly #he’s so real #the correct reaction to learning that frank Churchill is at the function #this whole scene was hilarious #mr. knightley #emma #jane austen #books #also once again I didn’t actually right on my book #I did it on my phone

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rosepompadour · 4 months

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I had always had a big bust and long, skinny legs — at one time I had wanted to chop a bit off them — and in my netball shorts at school I looked gangly. I always felt top-heavy. But one day at school we were lying around reading and a girl called Paula said, "Your eyes are the color of cornflowers." I thought, How lovely. What a nice thing to say. I didn't have overweening self-confidence, and I don't think any model did. I was flattered when people said or wrote nice things about me, but I saw beautiful girls every day and, compared with people like Jean Shrimpton, I felt I was way down the pecking order. That is the negative side of modeling. You have to look really good to get the jobs, so you put yourself into a situation that feeds your insecurities. If you don't get a job, you think it's because you're not pretty enough. It allows you — in fact, it forces you — to concentrate on your flaws, and that's destructive.

- PATTIE BOYD

#the fact that pattie and jane birkin thought they were plain and jean shrimpton actually referred to herself as ugly is sheer insanity #makes me think of those vomit-inducing girlblogger posts that always pop up: i'm so pretty i'm a real life doll etc etc.#and meanwhile jane birkin is looking in the miror like 'OH WELL i guess i'll have to do'#truly hilarious and sad at the same time #pattie boyd #the beatles #beatlesedit #sixties sweethearts #*

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wolfhalledits · 1 month

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'WOLF HALL' RECAP — 1x04 'The Devil's Spit' air date — 11 February 2015 dir. Peter Kosminsky

In 1533, Anne Boleyn has given birth to a daughter, much to King Henry VIII's disdain. As Anne's paranoia over her inability to produce a son grows, Thomas Cromwell tries to convince Sir Thomas More to show approval for the royal marriage.

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izel-scribbles · 10 days

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gguys faroeverse has seized me by the throat and shaken me until i drew this

blame @jashiethh for introducing me to this concept

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alecvolturiswifeforever · 6 months

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Protection | A.V x Reader

warnings: mentions of injury (vampire reader), slight hints of possessive nature,

ʚɞ

As of recently, you had been having trouble with one of the lower guards. It wasn’t too bad, some light teasing comments here and there and perhaps a few disguised insults thrown within but it had never been a physical problem; you never felt the need to tell your mate. You were still technically a newborn, though you had battled down on keeping your strength maintained and you did not have as much of the desire to drink every living thing within a one hundred or so mile range anymore. You were doing better and you thought you could handle yourself.

That was until Alec was away on a mission, as he typically was. Casually, you decided to take a stroll through the castle, making your way to the courtyard to sit and read for a while. It had become a sanctuary within the walls of your newfound home and often times you found yourself sitting beneath the large tree, admiring the well kept greenery and feeling the warmth of the sun hitting your porcelain skin. It was just so calming to your frantic thoughts, and none of the humans could see in here, so why wouldn’t you take advantage of it?

However, it was only on the way back to your room that an issue started to arise. You had bumped into a few of the lower guards chatting away within the training room corridors and you sent them a friendly smile, continuing on your way. You failed to notice that he was one of them, just as you failed to notice the way he snuck away from the group to follow you, clearly seeing how lost in your own mind you were.

You snapped out of your thoughts quickly when you heard him whistle, stopping and turning around.

“Hey Y/N, whatcha doing?” He eyed the book in your hands, taking a few steps closer to take it out of your hands. “ Dracula, huh? How… ironic”

You gave him a tight smile, though you noticed the ever growing smirk on his face and knew it was not good news. You pulled the book from him hesitantly.

“It was a gift.” Your voice was stiff as you spoke.

“A gift?”

“Mhm. From my mate.” You enunciated the word, hoping to remind him that you were in fact mated to one of the deadliest vampires to exist, though he didn’t seem to take the bait.

“How lame… i’m sure I could give you a gift with much more sentimental value than that.” He continued to smirk at you and the uneasy feeling in your stomach grew. You laughed nervously, unsure what to do before taking a step back.

“Remember who you’re talking to. I- I must be on my way.”

You winced as you stuttered, and your brain began to hiss insults at your stupidity.

What a futile attempt at sounding threatening, Y/N.

As you took another step away from the guard you felt him grab your arm. You froze. Your book flew to the ground.

“Don’t be such a stick in the mud, Y/N. We can have so much fun together”

You hissed loudly as his grip tightened, pulling you towards him. Little hairline cracks began to appear on your arm, and you whimpered quietly. This seemed to entertain him more and his smirk grew into a menacing grin.

“Come on, don’t be such a bitch. Live a little. Or has that little witch twin dug his claws too deep into you…”

“I highly suggest you remove your hand before I do it for you.”

A growl came from behind you both and you turned, seeing your mate standing a few feet away from you. His eyes were black as they settled on the cracks forming on your arm, and you could just barely see the ring of red surrounding them. You winced as the guard instinctively tightened his grip momentarily, larger jagged lines creeping up your arm, and suddenly Alec was in front of you both, forcefully removing the guards hand from where it held you and tearing it from his body with ease. A scream of pain sounded through the stone hallway as he fell to his knees. Alec simply smirked as he stared down at him before humming, speaking over his shoulder to address you.

“Sweetface, why don’t you go and find Jane? I believe she was looking for you.” He turns to watch you as you nod.

“O-okay…” You pick up your book from where it had dropped to the floor, quickly leaving the corridor.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Sat upon the stool of Jane’s vanity she continued to brush your hair gently, eying you in the mirror whilst you twisted your previously injured wrist around.

“Are you sure you are okay?” She questioned, placing the brush down and beginning to twist a braid into your hair.

“Yeah I’m good. I just wonder what Alec-” You smiled up at her. As if on que, the door opened and said boy waltzed right in, making his way right over to where the two of you resided.

“Speak of the devil and he shall appear.” Jane raised her eyebrows playfully, a teasing tone in her voice making you giggle.

“Shut up” He threw the snarky remark to her, a smile on his face regardless, and she laughed. He turned his attention to you, kneeling in front of you.

“Are you okay, my love?” He took your wrist in his hand, twisting it gently to see if any damage remained. It didn’t, of course, but that didn’t stop him from pulling it to his lips and pressing kisses to it.

“I’m okay.” You reassure softly. Alec smiles at your sweet nature before shooting a look at Jane. She rolled her eyes, finishing up the intricate braid she had twisted into your hair.

“I’ll give you two a minute…” She moved to the door, turning back momentarily “Just a reminder that this is my room.”

Alec scoffed and watched the door close.

“I swear sometimes I wonder why she has to be so sassy all the time. I can see where you get it from now. Too much time together. ” He smiled up at you and you giggled again.

“As if you can hardly talk.” You placed a hand upon his cheek as he raised an eyebrow. You sighed, smile dropping “Is he..?”

Alec simply nodded and turned to place a reassuring kiss to the palm of your hand.

“He shall not bother you again, sweetface.” His eyes hold the promise however you could see something else beneath it and suddenly you were asking what was wrong before you could stop yourself.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was bothering you?” His voice hardened slightly, though still held a softness to it nonetheless. “Were you worried that I would-“

You cut him off with a shake of your head.

“No, love, none of this is your fault. I should have told you, it was just… it was never really that serious. It didn’t seem like something I couldn’t handle on my own.”

“Was he physical with you beforehand?” He frowned, hands finding your own and stroking the top of your palms soothingly. You shook your head again.

“No… it was just little comments and stuff.” You shrugged “I’m sorry. I should have told you.”

He shushed you gently and stood you both up, pulling you into his arms.

“Mia amore, you are not at fault. I promise you I am not angry at you whatsoever. I know you can handle yourself.”

You smiled up at him whilst he pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose. You wrapped your arms around his neck and gazed up at him lovingly.

“Thank you, my love. For helping me and for not being angry with me”

“Always.” He whispered as he leant down, pressing a kiss to your lips. The door opened as he did so, revealing his sister with a grimace on her face.

“Well at least you aren’t going at it on my bed”

Your mate pulled away with a look of horror, turning to glare at her. You laughed at their bickering .

“Jane. I swear to god-”

ʚɞ

taglist: @your-next-daydream @agirllovespancakes

#alec volturi #alec volturi x reader #alec volturi imagines #alec volturi fic #volturi fics #twilight fan fiction #the twilight saga #twilight #demetri volturi #felix volturi #jane volturi #volturi #i love jane and alec PLS #i wish i could see them bicker i just know it would be hilarious

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kxsslikerealpeopledo · 2 years

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pharawee · 1 month

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I never thought I'd see Bom and Tar together again but here I am, eagerly awaiting what's basically a BL-themed ad.

You Make My Day will be released starting 5 May on youtube. Maybe by then I've found out what they're actually advertising for. Ice cream? Cute cutter knives on a string?

#bom tanawat #tar atiwat #you make my day the series #thai bl #jane watches stufff #i'm reluctant to call this a series since it's a mini-series at best but #aaaaaahhh look at them #tar especially lmao #negl it's kind if hilarious when tattooed actors like tar or k ut or boss get styled all cute and innocent to hide their tattoos #but also i still don't understand how bom isn't in every bl

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gwydpolls · 6 months

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Lucian's Library 3

Feel free to suggest never written books you wish you could read.

Option slightly shaved to fit the format.

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mywastelandperfection · 7 months

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Top tier evolution 💪

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chailattehotte · 8 months

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Ah yes, those beloved fan-favorite Nightmare Time episodes, "Hey Melissa" and "Jane's a Car".

Remember they're OFFICIAL CANON, guys.

#starkid #nightmare time #hey melissa #jane's a car #hatchetfield #this was HILARIOUS omg

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tibli · 4 months

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Someone: Here's why Dirkjohn sucks and doesn't make any sense! *explanation that completely misunderstands both characters*

#homestuck #dirkjohn #dirk strider #john egbert #its both annoying and hilarious lmao #im so tired of the take that dirk is like emotionless and cold #bc its like congratulations you're thinking of bro and clearly did not read any of act 6 literally whatsoever #either that or you take dirk's concept of himself entirely at face value #and with john theyre always like 'he'd hate dirk for *completely random reason* and theyd be at each others throats'#when its like. dirk edited an entire detective pony novel for jane. he knows how to mess around #and john in general doesnt usually hate people bc he's just generall a friendly guy #but also sort of emotionally detached from a lot of things #im not even like. hugely invested in the ship or anything #but i do actually think it could work tho i wont go into detail #bc the tags are already novella length lmao

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soupforsoup · 9 months

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I need everyone to see this because the difference between Maria gently holding Luke's hand and leading him versus Sarah Jane fully Dragging this kid by the wrist is so funny, like miss girl's commitment to Not Being A Child Person, only to adopt and treasure this boy as the center of her universe twenty minutes later??? Tears, tears running down my face

#this is hilarious to look at and also makes me want to cry #luke had a full five seconds of independence in this episode and the rest of the time he was incurably a lost puppy I love him #I lovelovelove watching when new characters come in and how they react to luke's whole Being and The Way He Is #but this is so funny to me #the sarah jane adventures #sarah jane adventures #sarah jane smith #maria jackson #luke smith #sja #doctor who

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wolfhalledits · 2 months

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