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#If I have to see one more post about how we all gotta delete X social media account because of Y thing that upper management is doing
twisted-moose · 3 months
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I love you mute lists
I love you word blacklists
I love you blocklists
I love controlling my online experience so that my ability to exist as a freelancer is not an uphill battle against seeing the constant influx of bad news and burning out as a result of it.
There is nothing wrong with mediating what, when, and how you are exposed to news. It is no one's business how and when you put time, energy, and emotions into something extremely important. Not a single human is entitled to know how you prevent yourself from being spread too thin. You need to take care of yourself before you can sustainably take care of others. "Block and move on" is not just for fiction, it includes real world things that distress and trigger you.
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hugshughes · 10 months
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IM LITERALLY LIKE GOING CRAZY WAITING FOR U TO POST HARD LAUNCH LIKE GOING FERAL
Hard Launch C. Bedard.
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Connor Bedard x fem!reader
synopsis - Connor has kept your relationship under wraps for a while just because he knows how crazy people can be; what happens when he knows he needs you right next to him at the draft?
wc - 2.1k
contains - cursing, reader has anxiety/is anxious, Connor picks at the skin around his nails, a ciwyw by taylor swift reference (sorry), probably some inaccuracies when it comes to like how the draft goes, kissing, fluff.
an - this was supposed to be posted a few days ago but when i proofread it i absolutely hated it so i started over! sorry about the inaccuracies related to the draft and how it works, i had to put a few things that probably aren’t true for the sake of the story. also!! when i reply to comments i have to do it from my primary blog which is @hugshughesy so i’ll reply but it won’t say like creator i don’t think. i’ve been like rereading this and i hate it might delete soon feeling silly. i hope you guys like it!!
-
“Baby, you have to stop doing that.”
You grab Connor’s hand and slip it into yours, partially because you just love him, and mostly to get him to stop picking at his cuticles. He blushes at your concern, looking over at you sheepishly.
“Sorry, just nervous.” You nodded, laying your head on his shoulder. He and you both. Although, Connor probably had a little more to be nervous about than you, seeing as he’s gonna be the #1 draft pick tonight and be blasted on the tv screens of millions.
You were more nervous about the fact that you’d never been seen with Connor before, no one knew he was off the market, and when they saw his golden girl sitting by him tonight at the draft, the 14 year old girls were definitely gonna track you down like FBI agents.
You’d seen all the fan accounts, ones with bios that would read, “Connor’s girlfriend (real)”. And those made you laugh, but you also saw the hostile people that would threaten you and say terrible things and they didn’t even know you actually existed.
“Well, everything will be okay because one, we already obviously know you’re gonna go #1 because you’re just like the best. And two, your family is here, and your friends are here. And they all love you so so much Connie.”
“What about my girlfriend, y’think she loves me?”
You giggled at his question, furrowing your eyebrows and letting out a ‘hmmmm’ as if you were thinking about the answer.
“Actually, I think she loves you the more than anything else.”
Connor laughed now, wrapping his arm around your waist, which you initially accepted as an act of love, but then your boyfriend start tasing your sides.
You squirm and squeal, jerking around in Connor’s hold, not until you quite literally roll yourself off the hotel bed are you free. You look up at him from your place on the floor, an unamused look displayed on your face. While Connor’s expression is quite the opposite, as he giggles to himself.
“I tell you how much I love you, and you just throw me on the floor? Wow.”
He laughs louder at this, his bright smile melting your heart.
“I didn’t throw you on the floor, you did that to yourself.”
He holds his arms out for you, grabbing your hands and pulling you back up on the bed.
“Well, you still haven’t even told me you love me back so.”
“You know I love you the most. I know you know that.”
You do know that, as surprising as it would be to someone that’s seen his awkwardness and shortness in interviews and things like that, Connor is very expressive with his love for you. He always shows you how grateful he is for you.
“Connor! Gotta start getting ready soon, cameras will be in here in 30!”
His mom shouts from the adjoining door between the two hotel rooms his family was currently in. He shouts back an affirmative then sighs, laying back on the bed.
“Everything’s gonna go perfect Con, you’re completely surrounded by people who love you so much, and I know it’s a huge event, but there’s no need to be nervous baby.”
He looks at you, he practically has hearts in his eyes, he gives you a smile. He nods and sits up, standing to go grab his garment bag with his suit.
While he went to do that you went into the bathroom, making sure he didn’t mess up your makeup you’d just done messing around with you. It was still perfect, thankfully, and you closed the door to put your dress on.
You changed, then fixed your hair, you’d gotten it done a few days before, so you could do it quickly on draft day.
You touch up everything, lastly taking off your necklace with a gold heart as the charm and taking out your new gold ‘C’ necklace. Wearing his initial meant more than “belonging” to him, it was because he’s your boy, the boy who knows you.
Connor walked into the bathroom, suit pants and button up on. He practically had hearts in his eyes when he saw you. He wraps his arms around your hips and leans down to lay his chin on your shoulder.
“Wow, gorgeous. You look fuckin’ perfect.”
You feel heat envelop your face, giving Connor a big smile.
“I have a little something to show you. Nothing special, but I think you’ll like it.
He nods, looking at you expectedly. You show him the necklace, and the hearts in his eyes double in size. He looks from the necklace to you, and then back down again.
“Are you serious?”
The hope in Connor’s voice was apparent. He was in awe at the idea of you wearing his initial. You knowing and showing your love for him gets him so happy. When you nod at him, his smile grows. He helps you put it on, then turns you around to look at you.
You looked perfect, so, so gorgeous. You left the bathroom, sitting on the bed to put your heels on. The Bedard family minus Connor was in the other room now, talking. You fastened the buckle on your last heel, and Connie sits next to you, leaning his head on your shoulder.
“Everything’s gonna change after tonight, can feel it.”
Connor whispers to you, you can’t be much comfort to him though because the second you’re about to try, his mom comes through, letting him know the camera guys are here.
He sighs and nods, going to stand up but not before you kiss his head, giving his hand a squeeze. You stayed where you were as you watched Connor enter the other room, closing the door behind him. He knew you were already on edge and he didn’t want your anxiety to spike earlier than it had to.
After about 20 minutes Madisen texts you that it’s time for everyone to go. You grab your wallet and exit the room, seeing the Bedards and a few off-duty cameramen already in the hallway. Connor’s hand was gripping yours the whole way to Bridgestone.
You guys were finally in your seats after almost an hour. You were sat in between Connor and his mom, much to your dismay. You felt it was only right for Connor to sit by his family with you on the end but he whined and whined until his mom urged you to sit next to him.
Right now you knew there were many cameras on you, your leg bounced at the thought. Connor brushed his hand over your knee, whispering your name. You snap out of your thoughts, jerking your head towards him.
“Are you alright baby?”
Your eyes soften at his question, smiling and nodding at him. You pat your hand on his that covers your knee.
“Y’know, just a little nervous that everyone’s about to see that you’re my mega-hot boyfriend.”
He laughs at that, his grip on your knee tightening. Your free hand moves to the charm on your necklace, holding it tightly.
“Well, I think everyone’s gonna be confused about how I have such a hot girlfriend.”
It was your turn to laugh, you could feel the nerves prickling at the back of your neck slightly fade as you looked at your boy.
“Well, I think that number one draft picks are super hot, so.”
He looks at you with a big smile, his eyes soft and full of adoration, he brings his hand up and pushes your hand from your necklace, fingers brushing over the ‘C’ sitting on your chest.
Before you know it, the draft begins to start and the Blackhawks are on the clock. You and Connor’s legs are bouncing in sync, but you can’t help but look at him with a smile. It obviously doesn’t take long before Kyle Davidson is up at the podium.
“And with the first overall selection of the 2023 NHL draft, the Chicago Blackhawks are very proud to select, from the Regina Pats of the Western Hockey League, Connor Bedard.”
He smiles so bright, so big. He stands up and you follow, he engulfs you in a huge hug.
“Thank you so much, I love you so much.”
You say it right back to him before he moves to hug the rest of his family and friends. When he walks past you again to get out to the aisle he takes you by complete surprise, kissing you in front of everyone. That was quite the way to hard launch your relationship. He quickly pulls away and goes to bro hug Adam. Your eyes completely widen, quickly turning your head to look at Madisen, who is laughing at your shock, and her brother’s boldness.
You would’ve never expected Connor to do that, you’re guessing the adrenaline got to him, but wow. You recovered from your moment and clapped as you watched your boyfriend strut up to the stage, shaking hands with the Blackhawks staff and sliding on his jersey.
You hold his mom’s hand as you feel tears rushing your waterline. You’d known Connor since you were both 10 and watching him up on the stage was definitely overwhelming.
You guys sit and celebrate the other picks and after about an hour you all were out somewhere on the inside of Bridgestone arena, waiting for Connor to finish up promotional stuff.
He comes out from a hallway and the smile on his face is absolutely heart melting. He hugs his family before he makes his way to you, hugging you very tightly.
“Connor Bedard. What was that?”
He smiles proudly, kissing you once again, just longer and harder. Once he pulls away you’re dazed, a love-struck look in your eyes, and if you could, you would have hearts in your eyes.
“I don’t even know, just felt like kissin’ you, and I think I was on like an adrenaline rush or something.”
You laughed and nodded at him with an amused look, cupping his face with your hands. His family absolutely loved you two, they had been waiting for the day you guys admitted you liked each other since the 2018 8th-grade dance.
They saw how you brought Connor out of his shell, and how incredibly happy you made him. You declared where you would be attending college the night of the draft lottery, for no apparent reason of course. The University of Chicago was a school you were always interested in, but Connor in Chicago meant that much more to you.
After hours of hanging out and celebrating you guys were finally back at the hotel. You showered after Connor finished up and then after you were standing at the sink, pajamas on as you did your skincare.
For the second time that day, Connor came into the bathroom, wrapping his arms around you. You looked at him through the mirror, smiling softly. Connor looked at you and saw everything he wanted. He felt so excited to be able to have you with him in the Windy City. He knew he was only 17, but thoughts of you being his wife crossed his mind.
You finished up in the bathroom and you both went back out to the room, the door between the two rooms you had was ajar, allowing his parents to keep watch of you two if they needed to. They trusted you both deeply, but you were still two teenagers sharing a bed, so.
You both snuggled up on your bed, and you scrolled through Twitter and Tiktok looking at things about the draft and Connor and your relationship. You had become a small meme among the hockey girl fandom, the video of Connor kissing you and then your reaction going viral.
There were so so so many kind comments, commenting on your beauty and smile, and how happy you made Connor look. He was very happy with how the night went, which made you happy obviously.
You both eventually fell asleep, only after whispering for hours about how everything is gonna be in Chicago, how much fun you think it’ll be. You played with Connor’s hair while his breathing slowed, his grip around you tightening.
You knew that no matter where Connor went, you would go too as long as he wanted you there. And he always would want you there. You were everything to him, you and hockey were what kept him going.
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starcrossedxwriter · 9 months
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Wicked Fantasies Part 4 (MBJ x Black OC)
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Warnings: mentions of grief and death… NSFW, public sex, name calling, BDSM themes
A/N: lol remember when I said this was gonna be two parts? Well I finished both so I said why not lol long chapter ahead but I hope you enjoy!
***
“It’s really insane when you think about it,” she laughed. “I mean God, these people are saying shit I wouldn’t dare breathe out loud… to a complete stranger. Do your DMs always look like this?” 
Michael nodded, causing Raven to shake her head in complete disbelief. “I don’t see most of ‘em but my team likes to share the wildest ones sometimes. The people are mad creative.”
“You don’t ever feel objectified by it?” Raven asked, her nails tapping quietly against her screen as she deleted DM after DM. 
“Sometimes but it’s par the course in my world. And they do it to all celebrities. It’s also not like me and my team don’t play into that shit. So it’s kinda hard to get mad. When you get branded as a sex symbol, people treat you like one. And generally, people don’t mean any harm by it. As long as people, you know, keep that shit on social, I don’t get bothered.”
“Fair. People need to like get offline and touch grass. The amount of women in my DMs insulting me for ‘stealing you?’ You’d think I wrecked their fantasy home. It’s kinda disturbing, not gonna lie.” 
Despite the rise in explicit DMs, Raven was pleasantly surprised at how little her life had changed since she became the public girlfriend of a mega movie star. She had never seen so many follow requests in her life and the cameras swarmed the library for the first few days. However, other than that and one or two articles detailing the sparse details of her life that were available, things were pretty much exactly the same. It also helped that there was a major celebrity scandal each week so their relationship had quickly become old news. But they were the new “it couple” on the block. The world bought their act hook, line, and sinker. A few more months of this and the debacle of their first date would be a funny passing joke on SNL or Late Night tv and nothing more. 
“I feel bad dragging you to this shit on your birthday,” Michael mumbled apologetically. 
Raven scoffed. “It’s a dinner party at Ryan Coogler’s with the cast of my favorite superhero movie of all time,” she exclaimed, a bit of her fan girl side slipping out. “Hardly a punishment. We got our photo so you can post something cute and sappy for the gram and I get to do something fun completely unrelated to my birthday. Win, win.” She assured him with a smile. 
Michael still did not understand her aversion to her birthday, it was one of the many things about her that were a big question mark. He thought she was just being modest when she told him so when Ryan invited the couple to dinner at his spot, he felt bad for even asking her to give up her special day for a work event. However, she said yes immediately, clearly thankful for a work obligation to fill up her evening. 
Her phone rang, interrupting Michael’s response. She rolled her eyes when she saw her sister’s name pop up. She had been dodging her and her dad’s calls left and right since she and Michael’s first date weeks ago. She knew her sister would find out from social media and would tell their dad, and she knew they both were just calling with their hands outstretched. She could tolerate them asking for her money and the money she did not have yet, she always found it and, even if she complained, she would give it. But she would not entertain requests for money that was not hers to give away, nor would she give Michael the impression she was a gold digger trying to bleed him dry. He was upholding his end of the bargain, she would not milk him for anymore than that. She let it go to voicemail, however, soon the car filled with the constant dings of her texts.
“You gotta take that?” 
“Umm… yea,” Michael could feel her entire mood sour at the idea. “It’s just my sister. She’ll never stop calling if I don’t. You mind? Sorry,” her tone was apologetic, knowing how frustrating it would be to listen to half a conversation in a car you can’t escape from. 
She held the phone to her ear and waited for her to pick up, making sure to turn the volume down as low as possible in hopes Michael would hear as little of whatever insanity her sister would spew. She knew she was not calling to merely offer happy birthday wishes, if she even acknowledged the day at all.
“Raven! I’ve been calling you for days. What the fuck?” Kiara’s voice filled her ears. 
“Hi Kiara. Sorry, I’ve been a little busy. How are you?” 
“I’m fine.” She responded shortly without asking Raven the same. “And yea, a little busy all over the fuckin’ ShadeRoom. You know how fuckin’ embarrassing it is to find out you’re dating MY celebrity crush on Insta?? You didn’t even like that nigga or his movies.” 
Not true, Raven wanted to yell into the phone. She and her sister were not close enough to know each other’s favorite movies or actors, hell even favorite colors, let alone gossip about their relationships together. So she was not sure why Kiara even expected to know about her relationship, even if it hadn’t been a complete farce. 
“You have me out here lookin’ stupid as shit to my friends.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t realize how it would impact you.” There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice, which she could tell Michael picked up on as he choked back a laugh. However, she knew Kiara was too self absorbed to notice.
“When are you gonna bring him here for us to meet him? The girls want to meet him too.”  
“You and dad are always welcome to come to LA and meet him. O-Or just, you know, visit me?” she threw him an apologetic shrug that just made him laugh. She wished she could laugh at how quickly her family’s tune had changed about seeing her. She had invited them to LA countless times before everything fell apart but they couldn’t have cared less about her life and how she was doing. And when she tried to visit them, they made excuse after excuse about why it was not a “good time.” But now that she had a famous boyfriend, it was “when are you coming to visit?” As if the invitation had always been open. She had not seen her family in two years. “Don’t think either of us have time to come to y’all with his schedule. He’s going out of town soon for his new movie.”
“Maybe I can convince dad if you can get us tickets to the premiere of that movie…. What’s the name? I don’t remember. The girls would love that shit. Or… oh! He has to be invited to the new Black Panther premiere next month too. Maybe we can go to that? I don’t know what that shit’s about but it’s Black Panther so you know hella celebs will be there. He’s gotta be a brand ambassador for some fancy shit. Can you get us some Birkins or something?”
Raven clenched her eyes shut as her sister outlined her laundry list of impossible wants from her “boyfriend.” She knew she could never and would never ask Michael for a fraction of these things. And if she was going to ask him for something out of their contractual obligations, she doubted whether it would be to benefit Kiara of all people. She would do it on behalf of someone who would actually appreciate it.
“I’ll ask him. But maybe for now, you can settle for an autograph? Look, we are actually headed out on a date. Did you or dad need something?”
“Oh yea… I need money for a lawyer for that charge from a couple weeks ago. You know that fuck ass bar is suing us for damages? But that shit wasn’t even our fault.” 
Raven’s head lazily fell to the side as she half-listened to her sister complain for several minutes, drowning on with details from the fight  that made Raven think the bar was well within their rights to demand payment. But accountability was not Kiara’s strong suit. She offered lame “ohs” and “wows” to give the impression that she was truly paying attention. She was just waiting for the ask, there always was one and everything before it was pointless. She finally tuned back in when her sister demanded cash. 
“I gave dad the rest of my savings to bail you and your boyfriend out of jail. And I already sent money for the mortgage and dad’s car. I’m tapped out this month.” 
“Fuck you mean tapped out? You’re living like a fuckin’ big shot in LA with a millionaire for a boyfriend and you can’t slide me money for a lawyer? That’s fuckin’ foul, Raven.” 
Raven clenched her eyes shut. It had already been hard enough to keep up the appearances that she had a thriving career in LA. Adding a fake relationship to the house of lies she existed in did not help matters. Her family had no idea how much she was struggling now and while she knew she could tell them, she did not want to deal with their reactions, which she knew would likely be to blame her. She felt enough guilt and blame for her situation as it was. 
“I can’t just make money I don’t have materialize, Kiara.” She lowered her voice though she knew there was no way Michael was not listening. “You know just because I let you and dad treat me like an ATM, doesn’t mean I do that to other people. I don’t have the money right now but I can pay the bar in installments when I come into more in a couple weeks and just pay off the damages for you.” 
“No, we aren’t payin’ the fuckin’ bar cause we didn’t do shit. And wow… God. You’re so fuckin’ selfish, running off to LA and abandoning us here to make all that money with your fancy degrees and shit.” 
“Did I run off and abandon you or did you make it impossible to stay?” Raven asked, her exhaustion at constantly being the villain of her family’s story getting the better of her. 
“Poor Raven. Always the fuckin’ victim as if everything that’s wrong in this family isn’t your fault. And to pull that card today of all days when you know it’s the anniversary of mom’s death. If it weren’t for you…” Kiara started to say before Raven cut her off, tears welling up in her eyes as she already could hear her sister and father’s voice finishing that sentence. 
“I’ll figure it out and send the money, ok?” She called out, cutting her sister’s words off completely. “I’m getting an advance from my next book in a couple weeks. Find a couple lawyers, meet with them and get their rates and I’ll pay for it. No one crazy expensive, Ki.” 
She knew lying was wrong but she did not have any other option. She couldn’t tell her family where the money would be really coming from. Michael had a whole list of things for her for the next two weeks before he went on his press tour, which meant she would easily make enough to pay her sister’s legal fees and pass it off as an advance. 
“This is me and Jay’s lives, Raven. It’s not like you don’t have the money or access to itto pay for the best.” 
Raven focused her eyes on the ceiling of the car, a sorry attempt to stop tears of guilt and frustration from falling. She felt a tidal wave of shame hit her knowing Michael was seeing her like this. “Whatever you need. But once my advance money is gone, I’m tapped out for a while. Seriously, Kiara.” 
“Yea yea yea. I gotta go. I’ll call you in two weeks about the lawyer. Bye.”
Raven clenched her phone in her hand with a fist, her entire body turning away from Michael as a small frustrated sob escaped her that she couldn’t quite keep in. She tossed her phone down on the seat and wiped her eyes. 
She had hoped to make it through today, the annual reminder of the worst day of her life, without thinking too much about it. But there her sister was, picking at the threads of her composure, forcing her to unravel. 
The worst part of all of it was she could not even be mad at her sister or her father and how they treated her. She deserved it and she knew it. She had ruined their lives and this was her atonement. So she endured it, every slight, every barb, every wound because she - perhaps foolishly - hoped that if she kept reaching out her hand and kept giving, one day they would reach back and not expect something in it. They would forgive her and she would have a real family again. 
It did not matter how they spoke to her or treated her, she just repeated the same mantra over and over and over again.  
Keep reaching out your hand, she reminded herself as she took a few deep breaths. 
“You good? We can drive around for a bit longer if you need a minute.” 
“Yea, yea.” She sniffled and cleared her throat. “Just stupid family shit. One day we’ll have a date without me crying o-or having a panic attack,” she let out a watery laugh as she forced a smile onto her lips. 
The smile was wide, and Michael knew, to a stranger, it would likely seem authentic and bright. It would certainly be enough to fool everyone at dinner tonight. But he could see its inauthenticity in her eyes, that’s where all of her emotions shown through. And her eyes? They were void of even the minuscule amounts of light and joy he typically saw and that were present moments before that phone rang. Now, she just looked torn down. And this version of her did not have enough energy to do more than put on that facade and pray no one looked too closely. But when it came to Raven, Michael always looked too closely… and he knew that was the problem. 
Michael slumped back in his seat for a few moments, the wheels turning in his mind as he studied her. He knew he could continue with their plan for the night, that she would play her part and play it well. However, he could not, in good faith, allow that. All their dates thus far had been about him. She deserved for the one day to celebrate her to be all about her. He pulled out his phone and went to Google. After a few minutes of searching, he closed that and opened his call log. 
“Hey Coog.” His voice filled the car, Raven glancing over to him as she continued trying to reign in her emotions so she could play her part.  “My bad, man but we ain’t gon’ make it tonight. Send my apologies to the rest of the team and your wife.”
Raven’s head whipped to the side as she listened to his words. She could hear the faint accent of Ryan Coogler asking if everything was ok. She immediately turned to him and threw an expression at Michael before mouthing, “What are you doing??” 
Michael merely winked at her before answering Ryan. “Yea yea. Just somethin’ came up I gotta take care of.” Michael chuckled. “Aight, ‘preciate you, brah. I’ll make it up to you. Talk to you later.” 
As soon as he hung up the phone, Raven immediately spoke up. “What was that? Why aren’t we going to dinner?” 
Michael ignored her and directed his next statement to Allen. “New plan, Allen. Just sent you the address.” 
“Yes, sir.” 
He continued to avoid her confused and wide eyes. He could not sit at a dinner party, regardless of how fun it was going to be to see the entire cast, knowing Raven was in pain. And even if he did not know or understand the extent of it, he could empathize and recognize she needed a night of someone caring for her, not the other way around. 
“Where are we going?” 
“You’ll see.” 
When Allen finally stopped, Michael helped Raven out and handed one of the cards out of his wallet to Allen, whispering something in his ear that Raven could not hear. With that, Allen sped off, leaving the two behind. Michael placed his hand on the small of Raven’s back and directed her down the block. 
“What about your dinner party?” 
“That nigga hosts a dinner party for everythin’. My role in the movie ain’t that big. Just settin’ up future shit so they won’t miss me. He’ll host another after the premiere next month and at the end of the award season if it gets nominated. Trust me, we ain’t missing shit.” 
“But you’re paying me to go to work events with you?” Raven hated that once again, he felt the need to cater to her and her emotions. “I don’t need to be coddled. O-or for you to rearrange shit to celebrate a day I don’t even want to celebrate. You’re paying me to do a job, let me do it.” 
“Yea and now I’m paying you to have a relaxin’ evening with me. This’ll be more fun anyway. We can still pretend it ain’t your birthday if you want.” 
“Relaxing… at a rage room?” She glanced up and gestured toward the sign outside of the building they were standing in front of. It was quiet, no one but a front desk attendant gawking at them. But she was not surprised it was quiet for a Wednesday night. 
“You tellin’ me you don’t have some rage you wanna exercise a bit, ma?”
She chewed on her lip, she had more than enough rage to get out, but she needed to fix that on her own time, not his. “I do… we all do, I’m sure but… then you shouldn’t pay me for the night. This isn’t work. You’re just doing this to make me feel better and I’m good. We really should go to that party. You can’t just blow off work obligations because your fake girlfriend’s having a bad day.”
Michael closed the distance between them and used his fingers to pry her lip out from between her teeth. He wanted to smile at how she rolled her eyes and pouted a bit, clearly resisting the urge to draw her lip back where it was.  
“You aren’t ‘good.’ I don’t know you that well but I do know that much. Just because this ain’t real doesn’t mean I want to watch you suffer on the one day of the year that’s supposed to be about you. A dinner party isn’t what you need. You need fun, seems like you get little of that shit anyway. So since I’m payin’ for your time, I’m tellin’ you not to worry about my shit. And I’m tellin’ you that your only job today is to have fun. And I don’t like having my money wasted, baby girl.” His voice dropped to his commanding tone, a tone that let her know he’d pull out the flogger again if she did waste his time. 
She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Fine. But this really isn’t necessary.” 
“It’s my money. Let me decide what’s necessary and what’s not. Now come on.” He pulled her in the door, using his award winning smile to get them into the largest room that was clearly meant for more than two people. 
The attendant got them set up in their protective gear and closed the door behind them, locking them in the room for an hour. 
“So what do we do?” Raven muttered as she glanced around, quietly giggling at their absurd bee-keeper style gear. The room was filled with breakable items, bats and golf clubs and other makeshift weapons. There were holes in the walls and punching bags and dummies and stacks of plates. 
He picked up a vase and chucked it at the wall, the glass shattering against the wall. Then he picked up another one and handed it to her. 
His hand pressed into her chest, right above her heart. “Every negative thing you feel in here? Destroy everythin’ in this room til it doesn’t feel like you’re drownin’ in it.” 
She grabbed the vase from his hand and held it for a moment before she threw it as hard as she could at the same spot on the wall. Lacking his strength, it did not make it to the wall but she did enjoy the rush of adrenaline and satisfying crash it made as it shattered to the ground.  She did not even need further prompting as she picked up the discarded baseball bat near her and started using it to break everything she could see that was breakable. 
Michael spent most of the hour cheering her on as she released every bit of pent up frustration and anger and pain and shame she felt. She was so tightly wound all of the time, never letting any of it show so she could never let any of it go. But this was a cathartic release that she did not even know she needed. She knew she would feel it all again tomorrow but every crash, every piece of glass shattered, every dent she made into the walls of that room felt like a small bit of everything she kept in started to vanish piece by piece.
By the time the buzzer rang, signaling the end of their session, she was exhausted, her arms tired but she had never felt lighter. 
“That was…” she breathed heavily as they walked out toward Michael’s SUV. “Amazing. I didn’t know I needed that. Thank you.” 
“See? You gotta trust me more, baby girl. I know more than just what your body needs.” He winked at her as he closed the door behind him. “And now, we have one more stop.” 
They spent the entire drive recapping their favorite things to break in the rage room, which “weapons” caused the most damage. 
“Remind me never to piss you off,” Michael joked as Allen pulled off onto an overlook. 
“What do you mean??” 
“You were downright terrifyin’ with that damn bat. Can’t have you goin’ all Jazmine Sullivan or Carrie Underwood on my car.” 
“Whatchu know about Before He Cheats?” 
He let out a barking laugh. “Enough to know niggas go up for that song, me included.” He admitted. “But if you try to sell that to a gossip site, I’ll deny it.” 
“Wow, learning something new about you every day. And please, I’m sure there are more effective ways to hurt you if you pissed me off,” she teased. “You’d have a new car before I even finished taking a bat to the old one.”
“You might be right about that.”
“Where are we?” She asked as Michael helped her out of the car and she followed him around to the back of the SUV. He opened the trunk and laid out a picnic blanket and soft pillows that Allen had purchased while they were raging and jogged up to the front to grab the box of Prince St. Pizza that had made Raven’s stomach growl the entire ride and a bottle of white wine. 
“Overlook by the Hollywood sign. Perfect view of the city with my favorite white wine and favorite pizza.”
Raven smiled as he helped her climb into the back of the SUV, both of them leaning on the back as they looked out over the city. The silence was comforting, both of them eating their way through the giant pepperoni pizza and several glasses of wine. When they finished one bottle, Allen just produced another from the front seat and handed it back to them. 
“Thank you… for tonight,” Raven smiled as he poured her another glass of wine. “I… did really need this. And you didn’t have to.” 
“Don’t mention it. Seemed like you needed this more than I needed a dinner party.” He paused. “So your sister… did she even say happy birthday to you?” 
Raven let out a cold laugh as she took a long sip from her glass. “Nope. But I didn’t expect her to. Told you,” she whispered as her fingers played with the strings on the edge of their blanket. “Just another day. 
“So that’s why you don’t celebrate your birthday? Your mom?” At her startled expression, he shrugged apologetically. “I didn’t hear everythin’ but your sister was talkin’ loud as fuck toward the end. When’d she die?”
Raven sighed. “She died in labor. Had some condition, doctors told her no more kids… she got pregnant by accident. My dad wanted her to have an abortion, she refused. She gave birth and died a couple hours later.”  
“I’m sorry,” he offered quietly, his hand rubbing her thigh. He had tuned out most of their conversation, not wanting to eavesdrop. But the moment he heard frustration and pain in Raven’s voice, he could no longer block it out. He heard every word her sister hurled at her and he hated that they treated her so callously. “And they blame you?” 
She wiped her tears for a moment before muttering. “I blame me.” 
“You were a baby, didn’t ask to be born. How is her choice your fault?” Michael reasoned, hating that she blamed herself for something so out of her control. But he also knew grief was not the most logical of emotions, particularly grief as deep seeded as this.
“My dad could barely look at me as a kid, wanted nothing to do with me beyond keeping me clothed and fed. The only person who didn’t blame me was my grandma, she basically raised me until she passed when I was in middle school. And I get it,” her voice broke slightly with her grief. “If it weren’t for me, my dad would still have his wife and my sister would have a mom. So yea… I was born and she died for that… not much worth celebrating in my book… or anyone’s really.” Her voice trailed off to a soft whisper before she shook her head and rolled her shoulders back as if she could shake out the negative emotions. “But you didn’t bring me to this gorgeous spot to trade childhood trauma. Thank you for helping me take my mind off all that for a bit.” He could tell by her tone that she did not want to discuss it anymore. “I don’t know why you’re so nice to me,” she mumbled as she took another bite of pizza. 
He wrinkled his nose. “Am I not supposed to be?”
“No, no. I just… still waiting for you to be what I’d thought you’d be, I guess. What Tasha warned me you’d be.” 
“And what was that?” 
“An asshole,” she answered bluntly, Michael chuckling as he bowed his head. 
“I am… an asshole,” he admitted. “I’ll never deny that. Couple bad decisions after a bad break up and Hollywood bad boy became the image so I leaned into it. Self-centered, arrogant, cold… Aside from my family, that’s the version of me people see.” 
“But that’s not you.” 
He raised an eyebrow. “How you know? We just met a month ago.” 
She examined him with a soft smile before sitting up a bit straighter. “Because a self centered, arrogant asshole doesn’t do half the things you’ve done for me. You don’t treat me like a body or a business transaction. You treat me like… a friend? Even when you have no reason to. You may be a jerk but hell, plenty of niggas are jerks. You may even be a little selfish, not shocking when the world caters to you. But I think the real you is kind and thoughtful. I don’t know why you don’t want to show the world the side of you I see.” 
“Cause that nigga gets taken advantage of, gets heartbroken.” 
She nodded, she knew more than a thing or two about being taken advantage of. 
“Who was it then?” 
“Hm?” 
“The girl that broke your heart and created this version of you?” 
He let out a humorless chuckle and placed his hand on her knee. “One day, I’ll tell you.” He paused, glancing at her. “I treat you like a friend because I think we are… friends?”
He wanted to be so much more than friends. Every date, every moment with her he realized that more and more. However, if friends was as intimate as their relationship could ever truly be, he would settle for it. Anything, just to have her nearby. 
The small smile on her face turned brighter. “I think we’re friends too.” 
With the declaration of their friendship, both of them laid back against the pillows on their backs so they could stare out of the sunroof at the midnight sky. The sky was so perfectly clear, she could see endless stretches of stars. 
“What made you decide to be a writer?” Michael asked as they laid there. 
“I used to dream of being anywhere but where I was,” she admitted. “Still do most of the time. And when I was a kid, books, particularly fantasy books, were just the one place I could always escape to. Other worlds and lives so vivid so I could leave this one behind for a short while. And they always gave me hope that things could get better, maybe. I wouldn’t get saved by a dazzling prince or whatever. But they made me think things could turn around somehow. But when I was young, so few books had characters who looked like me or were written by women who looked like me.” 
“‘If there’s a book you wanna read, but it hasn’t been written, then you have to write it,’” he quoted the quote she had above her desk in her room. 
“Exactly.” 
“Why’d you stop after one book?” 
She clenched her eyes shut. “Didn’t have much of a choice. A… misunderstanding,” she muttered the word bitterly, “with my editor at my publishing house… and they dropped me, wasn’t able to find another. So I got the job at the library to tide me over till I figured shit out.  That was… about a year and a half ago? Haven’t been able to write much since.”
“A misunderstanding?” He repeated, glancing over at her, his question clear even though he did not explicitly ask it. However, when he felt her body shift uncomfortably next to him, he quickly backtracked. She had already rehashed so much that she did not need to tonight, there was no need to unearth anything else. She kept giving him more puzzle pieces but the picture remained a mystery. However, he could tell that it was one that held as much darkness as it did beauty. 
His hand grasped hers and squeezed. “You ain’t gotta tell me. Add it to the one day list?” 
Her eyes were still closed but he felt her squeeze back. “Thanks.” 
Silence fell over them as they laid there. Michael rarely just laid and did nothing like this. It was contemplative and nice, to simply exist beside her. He spent so much time being on, playing a part or an image. But he liked that he did not have to do that with Raven when they were alone. She let him be Bakari… the version of him that was only safe with his family and closest friends. 
“Tonight… I needed it too,” he offered, ending the silent reprieve. “So thank you for indulgin’ me.”
Raven turned and propped her head up on her hand, turning her body to face his profile. He looked different bathed in the moonlight. He was gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. But he seemed more youthful to her, his features more relaxed than they typically were when they were on dates. His jaw was relaxed, his lips settled into a smile that was effortless… not his movie star smile, which she had seen enough times to recognize the nuances that signaled its inauthenticity. This one though, his real smile,… it made him heartbreakingly gorgeous.  
“Thank you for caring about me a-and for today. Haven’t had anyone do that in a long time,” she admitted before settling back on her pillows.
He knew she had that void in her life but hearing her admit it out loud broke his heart in places he was not expecting.
“What about right now?” 
“What about right now?” She asked, her tone filled with confusion. 
“Do you wish you were anywhere else but here right now?” He asked.
She tilted her head to glance at him, finding his eyes trained on her and not on the sky above. She let out a deep breath as she studied him. 
“No, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” 
He smiled. “Good.”  
They turned back toward the sunroof, content smiles on both of their faces. They did not talk much beyond that, both of them enjoying the silence and each other’s company. 
She did not even know how much time had passed when something finally broke that precious silence, the buzzing of Michael’s phone. Instinctively, she glanced over and caught a glimpse of his bright screen. Tasha’s name scrolled across, Michael sighing a bit as he sent the call to voicemail. 
Suddenly, Raven felt overwhelmed with discomfort. He was still seeing Tasha… why did that upset her so much? He had never promised not to, at least not to her. So she knew she had no reason to be mad. But she could stop the claws of jealousy from sinking their talons into her heart and soul. And when that subsided, all she felt was inadequacy. Another moment where she was not enough for someone. 
She cleared her throat. “It’s… um kinda late?” she glanced down at her watch before sitting up and sliding out of the back of the car. “L-Looks like you’ve got plans?” She tried to hide the bitterness in her voice but she knew she failed, knew Michael could see all of it.  
Michael shook his head. “Nah, it’s not wh-” 
Raven cut him off. “I have an early shift tomorrow… would hate to oversleep. Mind taking me home?” She did not know why she lied, her shift was not until noon. However, she knew it was an excuse he could not argue with. 
Raven started to walk around to the car door when she felt Michael’s grip around her arm, halting her movements. Michael hated that she saw that. Similar to her, but for entirely different reasons, he had been dodging Tasha’s calls like they were the plague. Usually he reached out to her to set up dates but when two weeks passed with radio silence from her best and most frequent customer, she started calling more often. He met up with her once, an act he regretted the morning after when he woke up. But she had promised discretion, if anyone knew how much of a farce he and Raven’s relationship was, it was Tasha. But he did not even enjoy it in the same way, he felt like he was just going through the motions. So when she reached back out earlier that week to set up another date, he ignored it. And ignored all the subsequent messages. He could not avoid her forever, but he knew he needed to put her on pause until Raven was out of his life and out of his system. While he was drugged up on her, no other fix was as worthy or quite as right. 
But he did not know how to explain that to Raven. He had not promised her exclusivity but it had most certainly been implied. He would not be pleased if he found out another man she had fucked was calling her.
“Tasha and I aren’t…” he started to say but Raven pressed her hand to his chest to stop him. 
“You don’t gotta lie to me. You’re allowed to sleep with other women, Michael. This isn’t real, we’re just friends at the end of the day. All good. I’m really tired though and need to get up early.” 
With that, she gently maneuvered her arm out of his grasp and slid into her seat in the car. She was thankful with every passing mile that took her closer to her apartment and out of his presence. She did not have a right to be upset but she could not change the fact that she was. She enjoyed being his only and she wasn’t, and she was wholly unprepared for how that would make her feel. But that’s what she got, for thinking his feelings for her extended past their business relationship. He was kind but she had signed up to be used and he was getting what he wanted. She had to accept that. 
“Thanks for the ride, Allen,” she said as she opened the door. She fixed her face and offered him a smile that was a bit forced but, despite the end to the night, still was partially genuine. “Thanks for tonight, seriously. I had fun.” His phone buzzed again, causing her to grimace. “And have fun with Tasha. Night, Michael.” She did not let him respond before she let the car door slam shut and she raced inside as fast her legs in her heels could carry her. 
Michael groaned, his head thudding back against the headrest as he looked at his phone screen. 
“I fucked that up, didn’t I?” 
“Wasn’t your shining moment with her, sir.” 
He clenched his hand into a fist before answering the phone. He never wanted to see that look on Raven’s face again and truthfully, he did not care to frequent Tasha anymore. He knew Raven and he had a shelf life that would expire but even when it did, he was not sure he could go back to fucking Tasha like Raven never existed. She had infiltrated every aspect of his being in the last two week and tonight had only made him fall deeper for her, made him want to give her everything she did not have. It was strange to feel this emotion again, to long for someone like he did her. Even if it could not be something long term, he wanted to savor it while he had her. 
But that was not something he was truly ready to admit to himself, let alone to Tasha. So he decided to take the easy road out and blame it on something else: the image and his manager. Tasha would have to respect that, right? And he would spin some lie about seeing her after Raven and he broke up, even though he was not sure if he had the desire for dispassionate, unattached sex in him anymore. 
“Hey Tash,” he muttered coldly into the phone. 
“Hey baby… wanted to see if you wanted to meet up tonight? I miss you,” her voice was sultry and inviting, a voice that, once upon a time, would have had him racing through LA to get to a hotel with her. But today, it did nothing. “And a little birdie told me you were headed to Paris in two weeks for press. Should I pack a bag?” 
Michael rolled his eyes. That was his own fault. He flew her out once last year to Cannes Film Festival and now she thought she was invited on every trip. There was only one person he wanted to take on this trip with him and after tonight, he was not even sure she’d say yes. 
“Yea… listen Tash. You know how I feel about you. But I can’t see you anymore… just for a few months.” 
“What?? Why?” 
He rolled his eyes, she knew why. “Well, you know… I got this relationship with Raven that is really important for my career and I can’t be seen with other women. We’re gonna have an amicable split in a few months and then I’m all yours again. But until then, we gotta keep our distance.” 
He could hear the frustration and bitterness in her voice, though she tried and failed to hide it. “You’re my best customer, Michael. You can’t just… drop me outta nowhere.” 
“It’s just temporary. Just a couple months. And I’ll send you some money to tide you over till you get a new client. Also means no Paris. Sorry, I just really gotta focus on cleaning up the image over the next few months. You understand, don’t you? You know you’ll always be my favorite girl.”
There was a long pause that made Michael check to ensure the call had not been disconnected. 
“Yea I understand. Just a few months though, right? Then you’re droppin’ the new girl?” 
Michael rolled his eyes before nodding, though she could not see him. “Of course, baby. Just a couple months and then she’s gone. Promise.” 
They shared a few pleasantries before Michael hung up and prayed she did not call him again for a while. His fingers itched to text or call Raven and explain. But something stopped him, the part of him that still adamantly rejected his feelings toward her roaring. He did not owe her an explanation, he did not owe her anything but the money he paid for her dates. She did not ask for an explanation either so why would he volunteer one? Those two parts of him battled until he threw his phone to the side in frustration. 
He sighed and took a deep breath as Allen pulled up in front of his family home in the hills, his oasis, Raven’s perfume still lingering in the car… that hint of lavender danced on his nose. He fell asleep with that phantom smell haunting him, Raven finding ways to pop up in every dream he had that night, leaving him no escape from her or his feelings for her. 
***
“Here you go.” Michael handed her an envelope filled with cash. “I’ll be gone by the time you wake up.” 
Raven nodded and stored it in her overnight bag before grabbing her clutch. They were finally alone after being poked and prodded all afternoon by his stylist and glam teams to get ready for the premiere. They had ten minutes before the car would be there to take them. And then Michael would be jetting off at an ungodly hour to New York and then Paris for press. Raven was actually a bit sad to see him go. 
Though they never discussed the Tasha debacle from her birthday two weeks prior, she and Michael were slowly but surely getting closer and closer each day. They had had an event or something to go to almost every night, Raven was shocked at the amount of money she had been able to make in such a short window of time. Even helping her sister with her lawyer, she felt as if she could actually breathe easy for the first time in a while. And on the nights they were not together, they generally texted or talked on the phone at some point. They hadn’t had sex again, Raven finding any and all excuses to avoid that since he was still seeing Tasha. He never pushed or seemed angry, albeit a bit disappointed when every date ended with her asking Allen to take her home. It was petty she knew it but she did not care. She had no interest in competing with Tasha, she knew who would win every time. 
“Thanks.” 
“You sure you’re gonna be good while I’m gone?” 
Raven glanced at him and rolled her eyes as she threw her lipstick in her clutch. She did not quite understand how the small bag was even functional, it did not even fit her ID. But Michael’s stylist said it fit the look so she did not question it. “Don’t flatter yourself, Mr. Jordan. I’ll be just fine without you for a few weeks.” 
Michael came up behind her and laughed. “You ain’t gotta pretend like you ain’t gon’ miss me, baby girl. I mean… you know, financially. I’m in New York for a week then Paris for a week. That’s a while without dates. I can slide you some extra if you need it.” 
Raven bristled at the idea, she did not want him to view her as a charity case. 
“No,” she responded shortly, immediately regretting the sharp edge in her tone as his face fell. “S-Sorry. No, thank you but I’m good.” 
“Even after your sister’s legal shit or whatever?” 
She let out a small huff. “Yea… she managed to pick the most expensive lawyer below the damn Mason Dixon line but I got it covered, I think. And with this,” she gestured toward her bag. “I’m good on the other stuff too. Seriously, you shouldn’t worry yourself about my finances. I always figure it out.”  
He grabbed her wrist to stop her from walking away from him.
“It ain't charity or worry. Don’t want you stressin’ and shit while I’m gone. And I like to know my friends and everyone on my team are good. You’re both… why would I treat you any differently?” 
“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me. Or fix my problems.”
“You’re here fixin’ my problems. I can’t  return the favor?”
“Because… that’s not what we agreed to. This is a job, you pay me… we go out. That’s it. My family shit has no part in this and isn’t your concern. I’ll deal with them.” 
“Why do you?” At her raised eyebrow, he added, “Deal with that?” 
“You don’t give up on your family. You reach out your hand even when they swat it away. And one day, they’ll see all I’ve done for them and how much I love them and they’ll come around.” 
“Seems to me that you let them bleed you dry as if it’ll pay whatever debt you think you owe them. And they seem content with lettin’ you bleed out in the street.” 
She chuckled mirthlessly. “They’re all I got… so I don’t have much of a choice. It’ll pay off. All of it,” she forced more conviction in her voice. “One day.” 
“You really believe that?” 
She turned to look at him. He could tell there was genuine hope in her eyes, true belief that things would get better. A dreamer, indeed. 
“Yea… I have to.” 
“I dunno... There’s gotta be better out there for you… you certainly deserve better.” There was a not-so-small part of him, a part that grew with every moment he spent with her, that desperately wanted to be that more for her. 
“This world is filled with people who deserve better, Michael. But we’re stuck with the hand we’re dealt until better comes along. And I don’t see any better hands coming my way. Just a long game of this shitty hand,” she whispered the last part under her breath as she checked herself in the mirror once more. She grabbed her clutch and started toward the door. “You ready? Car should be here, right?” 
He hated how resigned she was to her fate and treatment. He had more than enough money to give his family and friends, more than enough for them to take advantage of if they chose and none of them did. Raven had none of that and still gave her last to people that clearly did not appreciate it. And to know, she had every intention of doing it under some misguided belief they would thank her for it later broke his heart. It reminded him of how pure and kind-hearted she was but he knew her efforts would likely be wasted. But he would have loved to be proven wrong. 
He did not know her family so he knew it was wrong to judge them but all he felt was red hot anger. Quite frankly, the only benefit he saw to the reality that this arrangement was fake was that he would not have to meet her family himself. He did not know if he could even sit in the same room with them. 
“Before we go… got somethin’ for you.”
Raven raised an eyebrow, “I don’t need a gift. It’s your special night.” 
“Yea but wanted to give you somethin’ to remember me by. It benefits both of us, don’t worry.” His face was a sly smirk that told her the gift was not a normal one. “But first, Tasha and I aren’t hookin’ up anymore.” 
“Michael… you don’t have to…” 
He shook his head and interrupted her. “Nope. You didn’t let me finish that night and you’ve been weird about it ever since. So now, I’m talkin’ and you’re gonna listen. It’s ok to be annoyed. We should be exclusive. I called her and put that shit on pause until our arrangement is done. We’ve only hooked up once since we started dating and it was early on. But either way, you don’t gotta worry about her callin’ or me seein’ her while I’m with you. I got my hands full with you anyway,” he winked at her. 
Raven tried to limit the smile that wanted to blossom at his words. She was happy to hear she was not “competing” with Tasha as she thought. It was a narrative her own insecurities and anxieties created and fueled, a narrative that now seemed foolish. She still did not know why it mattered so much to her. Or rather, she knew, but she would never admit it out loud. 
“So we’re good?” 
“Y-Yea we’re good. Wasn’t worried,” she lied, trying to make her voice sound aloof and unbothered. She did not know why she bothered, she supposed she did not want her pride to be anymore damaged than it already was. 
Michael merely pursed his lips and chuckled before nodding toward the bed. “So you ready to be my slut again or am I still on pause?” 
Raven smiled. “I’m all yours.” 
“Good. Lay down for me, panties to the side.” 
Raven laid back on the bed, hiking up her dress to her waist so she could part her legs. She pulled her thong to the side, Michael licking his lips as he took in the mess between her thighs. 
“Already so wet for me. You missed me too, huh? This is gonna be fun,” he muttered to himself as he pulled a gold vibrator out of his pocket before sitting on the bed beside her, careful not to ruffle his perfectly-tailored tuxedo. 
He wasted no time sliding the vibrator inside her, Raven moaning lightly at the intrusion, the way his finger brushed against her clit. She wanted more, desperately. Her hips rolled to find his touch, his hand, her body begging for more action. But he denied her. His other hand fiddled with something small that looked like a remote control. 
“Know what this is?” 
“No, sir.” 
“It’s the controller. Tonight, you’re gonna keep that in you and I’m gonna have a little fun with this.” 
Raven let out a shaky breath. “Y-You expect me to keep this in… while we’re at a movie premiere? No way.” 
He nodded, a mischievous grin in his eye. “I recall you wanting to explore some fantasies. You tellin’ me sex in public ain’t one you’ve had?” 
She bit her lip as she contemplated it. The idea was certainly an intriguing one… but the risks?? 
“When would you use that?” 
“Whenever I want. That’s the fun part… for me anyway. And you’re gonna spend the night making sure that sexy ass face when you cum isn’t plastered across TMZ tomorrow.” 
Raven shook her head. “I dunno, Michael. I’m all for risk but this seems insane.” 
He let out an exaggerated sigh, his voice playful and teasing. “I thought you’d be up for it, thought you wanted to have fun but I understand if you’re too scared.” 
She heard the challenge in his voice. He was testing her, trying to see if she was really up for anything. She could not deny that the idea was intriguing. Having her orgasms at his mercy in public? Per usual with him, she knew she could say no. But as she ran over the risks, all she could think of was the thrill of it. She wanted it. She hated that she wanted it and hated that he knew she wanted it. But she did. 
She sat up and swung her legs off the bed. She clenched her muscles to ensure the new addition to her ensemble stayed tucked where it needed to be and she shimmied the delicate fabric of her gown back down to its proper place. 
“Car’s waiting,” she offered with a smirk as she grabbed her purse and walked out of his bedroom, deciding then and there that she would win whatever game he was playing tonight, and would show him that she was indeed up for any and everything. 
Michael watched her ass sway as she exited and smiled. 
“Gonna have a lot of fun with this.” 
***
Raven was so overwhelmed by the screaming fans and reporters and flashing lights that she almost forgot about the “gift” nestled in her core. She kept her smile bright as she and Michael started down the red carpet, his arm tightly wrapped around her waist. 
He looked down at her like the perfect image of a doting boyfriend, with love and protection in his eyes. He played the role so well, Raven almost caught herself falling for the act. But she supposed that was a good thing because it made her glances back at him more genuine. She knew they looked like the picture perfect couple, every gossip site raved about them after every date. She knew tonight would be no different. 
She was so focused on keeping her smile intact and her eyes from blinking too much as they stood on the red carpet that she failed to notice Michael slip his hand into his pocket. Her smile faltered for just a second as she felt the device come alive, sending shock waves directly against her g-spot. It was a steady soft buzz, just enough to make her feel it, causing the heat to rise throughout her body. But it was not enough to overwhelm her.  
Once she got over the initial surprise of the vibration, she was able to recompose herself with ease. She played off the change in her expression by adjusting something on her dress and continued posing with him.
Minutes passed and the vibration continued at its low pace, Raven enjoying the small jolts of pleasure. This was what she was supposed to be worried about? This was a piece of cake.
She leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek before turning her head from the cameras and whispering in his ear, “This is easier than I thought it’d be.”
Michael let out a deep laugh as if she had told a funny joke and pecked her sweetly on the nose, continuing their slow march down the carpet. 
Raven genuinely felt like she could deal with that all night as she listened to Michael give an interview. She remained tucked at his side with a smile on her face. The interviewer did not really ask her any questions, thank God. So she just smiled and concentrated on keeping her thighs together. 
“So Raven, I have to say, you look gorgeous. Who are you wearing?” 
“Th-” her words were cut short as the vibration pattern changed, this time a long vibration that steady increased before pulsing against her g-spot and starting over again. She coughed awkwardly, pretending as if she had swallowed wrong before saying. “T-thanks. V-versace.” 
Her answer was clipped and short, afraid her words would betray her if she opened her mouth. This was far different, this was ecstasy. Each vibration felt like the slowest, most tantalizing march up a mountain before someone pushed her back toward the bottom to do it all over again. And that pulse at the top? It sent a shockwave through her that made her see stars. Each time, she felt her fingers grip the fabric of Michael’s tuxedo jacket harder. The longer it droned on, the more her legs started to shake. 
“You ok, baby?” he asked sweetly, kissing her on the cheek innocently. 
“Y-Yea, of course.” 
“You two are so cute. Thanks for chatting with me and I can’t wait to see the film.” 
Michael said his goodbyes to the interviewer before guiding Raven away. 
“What’s harder?” he whispered in her ear as they walked inside the venue. He stopped her in the corner of the giant atrium before they walked into the screening room and tucked her against a wall in a corner. Only official photographers were allowed at this point. To anyone passing by, they just looked like a couple having a sweet moment.
“W-what?” She found even such a simple word laborious to get out and it sounded more like a moan than a word. With him mostly covering her body from view, she could not stop the way her hips rolled as the setting changed again. The pattern was the same but the cycle was faster, the intensity overwhelming as he  increased it to the next setting. 
“What’s harder?” he leaned in and whispered in her ear so lowly she almost could not hear her. “Keepin’ that pretty smile on your face when all you wanna do is close your eyes and bite your lip while you cum? Hidin’ your moans so no one here knows you’re a loud filthy slut? Or stoppin’ yourself from beggin’ me to fuck you in the bathroom over there?” 
She felt as if her entire body was in a frenzy. It was not just the vibrator, it was his hands gently pressing her to the wall innocently, it was the courses of people walking by them having no clue that she was on the cusp of the greatest pleasure of her life, it was that she could not stop it or him if he decided he wanted her to cum right then and there in front of everyone. 
“A-all… of it,” she whispered, her face burying itself in the nook of his neck, which helped hide the pleasure swimming in her eyes but only increased it as she took in his scent. His signature cologne had become intoxicating to her. 
“You wanna cum for daddy, baby?” His words were a light whisper that they knew could not be heard over the conversations and music playing throughout the hallway. 
It was taking everything in her not to collapse in front of him, his arm around her waist was the only thing keeping her standing. Her legs were pure jello, every inch of her body was on fire, boiling with pleasure and humiliation at being brought to orgasm at the nicest event she’d ever been to in her life. All she wanted to do was cum but she did not trust herself to hide it. 
“P-Please…” she whispered. She did not know if that please was to stop or to keep going. 
Michael smirked as he felt her hips buck against his again. She was so close, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in the way her hips ground against nothing but air. It was subtle, not obvious to anyone else from the angle they stood at but he could feel it. 
“Beg.” He demanded. 
She clenched her eyes closed. All she wanted was to fall over this particular edge, right then and right now. She was so close, so close, it was almost agonizing to hold it in until he gave her permission. She glanced down as his finger hovered over the button to increase the setting again, knowing that she could not will him to hit that button. She would have to give him exactly what he wanted, what he always wanted. Submission. 
“P-Please… m-make me cum,” she muttered in his ear. “I-I need… it… p-please.” Tears stung in her eyes as she struggled to fight the urge to let go right then and there, hearing her own needy voice in the space. 
“Hm.” he offered quietly. “I don’t think you deserve it.” And with that, the vibration stopped completely. 
Raven could not stop the groan that escaped her lips as he stole her orgasm, her body screaming and protesting at her in pain at the sudden loss of pleasure. 
She let out a soft gasp as she glanced up at him. “You mother-” 
He leaned forward and kissed her deeply, completely silencing her. Raven’s entire body fell into his as they kissed, she could hear the soft snapping of a camera nearby on her right side. 
He offered her the sweetest smile before leaning to her left so the camera could not catch what he was saying.
“If you wanna cum at all tonight, I wouldn’t finish that sentence.” He straightened up and pressed his lips to her forehead, his arm still around her waist. His voice returned to a normal volume as he fixed her hair and ran his hand over the front of her dress. He looked like he was helping her adjust herself but he also wanted to make sure there was no evidence of their crimes. “It’s time for us to go to our seats. You ready?” 
Raven felt like she had whiplash from the last 5 minutes. He was good, far better than she gave him credit for at these games. She thought this was just going to be a fun experiment. But Michael never did anything small. And she was foolish to underestimate him. 24 hours ago, she would have never thought she would enjoy something like this. But now? She could play this game all night long, even though she was losing miserably. 
She peeled herself off the wall, her own hands running against the bodice of her dress. Her legs still felt a bit wobbly so she wrapped her arm in Michael’s to steady herself. She nodded and allowed him to lead her into the theater. 
She barely paid attention to the movie as she spent the entire two hours watching Michael like a hawk. Every time he shifted in his seat or moved one of his hands, she wondered if he was going to turn the vibrator back on. Halfway through the film, she realized it was not because she was dreading it. She wanted him to. She was internally willing him to turn the stupid thing back on, even if it was only at its lowest setting. Because even at the lowest setting, she knew she was sensitive enough to get where she wanted to be. She wanted to feel the tidal wave of pleasure, she wanted to drown in and bask in it and feel the adrenaline of doing so in public. Besides, the dark theater seemed like the perfect time if he truly wanted to push her completely over the edge. When she wasn’t praying to God that he would turn it on, she was wishing it was his fingers or his dick filling her and not a toy. 
She needed him so bad and truth be told, would have begged him to fuck her right then and there if they weren’t surrounded by hundreds of people. 
However, nothing happened. He paid her no attention throughout the entire film except for the hand that rested on her thigh. The minutes ticked on and on and on as the cast went up on stage to say a few words when the film ended. By the time they finally finished and were in the car to the afterparty, she was a horny, disgruntled mess. 
She kept her eyes trained on the window, even though it was tinted, when she felt Michael slide into the seat next to her. Two could play the ignoring game, she decided. 
His hand slid into the slit of her dress, pushing the expensive material to the side so he could have full access. When she did not part her legs for him immediately, he let out a disgruntled growl that was meant to be a command. She pretended she did not hear him and ignored it. 
He merely shook his head and laughed. “Aight, baby girl.” He pushed her knees apart with his hands, it took everything in her not to moan and keep her face stoic. 
His fingers immediately slid into her panties, the heat of her arousal hiting his skin before he even made contact with her body. He caressed soft circles into her clit. She gave him nothing, no moans, no humping into his hand. Nothing. So he upped the ante and turned the device on to the highest setting it had available. 
“Fuck!” She cried out, unable to keep it in as her body was assaulted with pleasure. The vibrator was more than enough to make her cum but adding his thumb against her clit was just simply unfair in her opinion. 
His free hand grasped her chin, firmly but loose enough that it was not painful and forced her eyes on him. Her breathing was heavy as she felt pleasure building fast in her core. Tears pricked her eyes, not from pain, but overwhelming, soul shattering pleasure, “You wanted me to make you cum in that theater, didn't you? In front of all those people like the filthy whore you are? Didn’t you? Upset that I ignored you? But guess what, baby girl?” he switched the setting to a lower one to keep her on the cusp of pleasure without sending her over. 
She let out a soft sob of agony as he held her there, suspended right at the cusp of her orgasm. This was more tortuous than him stopping cold turkey because she was so close she could taste it. And he kept it just out of reach. Every pulse, every caress of his finger was so much and overwhelming but still was not enough. And there was nothing she could do to force him to give her more. 
“Your body is mine, your pleasure is mine. And I decide when to fuck you, when you cum, when you suck my dick… I decide when you’ve been good… when you’ve been bad and what to do about it. It’s all mine. You can ignore me all you want but see how quickly you fell apart? You can’t win against me, baby girl. Daddy always wins. You understand?” 
She nodded rapidly, her body shaking lightly as she teetered on the edge, pleasure was consuming her every cell. She could barely think of anything but the raging inferno in her core.  “I-I understand. P-Please…” her voice broke. She felt as if she would quite literally perish if she did not come soon. He had never kept her on edge this long, a few seconds sure. But time was stretching into minutes. 
“You think you deserve it?” 
She didn’t deserve it, she knew the answer he wanted. “N-No, no… I’ve b-been bad, a bad girl. I d-deserve to be punished b-but I’m begging you… l-let me cum. I c-can’t… P-please,” her voice begged him for mercy. 
Deciding that she would pass out if he continued this game any farther, he pressed the button to return it to its highest setting. Her scream was nearly inaudible as she came on his fingers, her body shook as she gripped the door handle, shuddering through an intense orgasm. 
“That’s it, cum for me,” he whispered in her ear. “That’s a good girl…” 
“Thank you, t-thank you,” she babbled back to him as he talked her through her orgasm. He turned the vibrator off completely, finally giving her a break. 
“Allen, circle the block a few times.” 
“Yes, sir.” 
At the sound of Allen’s voice, Raven’s eyes flew open and shock and humiliation set in. She had just cum… with another person in the car. And she had completely forgotten he was there. Once Michael had started going, the presence of another human being in their vicinity had completely vanished. She glanced up, surprised to find the limo divider up. She didn't even know when that happened. However, she knew that that barrier was not sound proof. However, instead of being utterly turned off by that idea, it just turned her on more. 
“You like knowing Allen heard you?” Michael whispered in her ear. 
“No,” she shot back as she fixed her dress and used the compact mirror she had stored in the limo before the premiere to fix her makeup. Thankfully she still looked pristine, despite feeling physically depleted. She did not know how she and Michael went round after round when one orgasm made her want to cuddle up under the covers and fall asleep. 
“I keep tellin’ you how much I hate lies. But you never listen. Might think because we have a long night and I got an early mornin’ that you’ll escape punishment. But you won’t. Means I have a couple weeks to think of the perfect punishment for such… insubordination.” 
“Don't threaten me with a good time,” she offered with a sweet smile and a wink that made him laugh. 
He did not get a chance to retort when Allen pulled up at the venue of the after party. He gave Raven a once over before getting out of the limo and grasping her hand. He longed to bury himself inside her but he knew he did not have time, at least not enough time to satisfy the urges he had. And while he would toy with public sex, this was not the venue or event to be caught fucking in the bathroom, as much as he wanted to. 
No, he supposed he would just deal with cold showers for two weeks until he could fuck her again, and spank her until she begged for mercy. Her pleas had done something to him, sweet music to his ears. The perfect orchestra. And he would use every free moment of the next few weeks to think of ways to get that sound again. 
***
Michael rubbed his eyes as he scrolled through his email. He knew he would sleep well on the plane. He hated the first thing in the morning flights but he knew they were the only way to keep up with his crazy press schedule. 
“We’ve arrived, Mr. Jordan,” Allen called from the front seat, Michael immediately hopping out. Allen grabbed his sea of bags as he waved at his castmates who were also just arriving to the tarmac. 
“Thanks, man. See you when I get back. Make sure Rae gets home ok today, aight? Then enjoy your time off.” 
“Thank you, sir,” Allen responded as he handed off his bags to the baggage attendants who would ensure they made it onto the plane. 
Michael started to walk away and head to the flight when he heard his name behind him. 
“Mr. Jordan!” Allen called after him, causing Michael to turn around. The older man jogged up to him. “A word of advice? If I am not overstepping my bounds?” 
Michael nodded, allowing the man to continue. Allen rarely spoke, he was the type who liked to do his job quietly and fade into the background.  And he preferred to keep it professional with Michael though there were a few topics they could shoot the shit over while in the car like basketball and the like. But Michael knew that meant Allen likely knew more about him than anyone else on this planet, which meant he would have been a fool not to hear him out. 
“Avoiding love and companionship, even when it is right there waiting for you to take it, will never bring you happiness. And some would say such an ill-guided venture was foolish and selfish, particularly when the world is filled with people like Ms. Turner who love and seek out love with their whole souls and it's denied to them at every turn. And you may be a bit selfish, Mr. Jordan,” Allen admitted. “But I never pegged you as foolish.” 
“What’re you sayin’?” 
“I’m saying that it does not matter how this whole thing between the two of you started. It only matters how you end it. And whether you are brave enough to admit to her and yourself that perhaps you don’t want it to end at all.” Allen patted him on the arm before taking a step back. “There’s no reward for loneliness, Mr. Jordan… no Oscar to win for denying yourself more when you know you want it. The only prize those actions will give you is a lifetime of regret. And I believe you’re living a life too bright to have it dimmed by regrets.” he paused. “I hope I have not overstepped too much. But… well, there was a time a decade or two ago when I would’ve liked someone to overstep and tell me that.” 
Michael stared at him for a few moments before he nodded. After his last very public and embarrassing breakup, he vowed never to fall in love again. Years of women warming his bed before he kicked them out before sunrise. He got what he wanted and gave nothing of himself… to any of them. But Raven… from the moment he watched her staring out that window, he gave without even realizing how much he had given. And now, he felt things for her that he had not felt for a woman in so long. Hell, he wondered if he had ever felt this strongly for another person in his entire life. He wanted more… not a contract or a business dealing. He wanted her. Was he being utterly foolish by pretending that was not the case? 
 “You did… overstep.” His tone was a bit cold but he was unsurprised at how Allen did not backtrack or shrink. He said his piece, called him out and was willing to accept whatever the consequences of that were. “But maybe I need more people to do that. Will you do me a couple favors when you go back to the penthouse to pick up Raven?” 
“Anything, sir.” 
***
Raven groaned as she turned over in Michael’s soft bed. She had fallen asleep in his master bedroom alone, as she always did when they slept here. He always took the guest room. She wondered if she should be more sad that they slept separately but she agreed that that was not intimacy either one of them truly needed. She groped around the bed for her phone, groaning when she realized it was already 11 a.m. Thankfully, she had another two hours before her shift but she knew she needed to hurry up so she could get home and change into her real clothes, not the fancy designer ones she kept there. 
She pulled herself out of bed and stretched, part of her sad that Michael opted to go to sleep instead of fucking her. She understood he had an early day but she could not deny that all she wanted was for him to bend her into a pretzel after that orgasm in the car. But last night was, for the most part, strictly work. They did not get home and go to bed until 3 am and he had to get up shortly thereafter to catch his flight. And now she was left with nothing but a vibrator and fantasies of him to occupy her until he returned. But he had succeeded in giving her something to remember him by. She walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, rubbing her eyes as she dragged her feet across the hardwood floors.
Michael gave her free reign of his penthouse, even when he was not there. She did not spend the night there often but she had started to learn her way around, figure out where the sparse things he kept there were. A few dishes, a couple glasses, a fridge filled with coconut water and little food. When she slept there, so did he. But she had never really stopped to wonder where he spent the rest of his time. She guessed he had some giant mansion in the hills like every other star. But she wondered if that one was just as cold as this one, just as void of comfort and love, just as sterile. 
She guessed it was not. Otherwise, he would have her come there. No, that one was the sanctuary for the real him, she imagined it was warm and overflowing with his favorite things. Japanese anime artifacts and art and memorabilia and his awards and family photos and all the things that meant something to him. And this one was merely for his image, sterile and artificial. 
She blinked a couple of times, shocked to find a neat and perfectly packaged gift bag waiting on the counter with a long envelope sitting up against it. 
She sucked her teeth and chuckled, “This nigga. I thought I said no gifts,” she muttered to herself as she grabbed a glass of water and sat at the barstool. Part of her contemplated not opening it. What had he even given her a gift for? Her birthday was weeks ago. But her desire to know what he got her won out. 
She went to the envelope first, her name written in handwriting far too nice to be Michael’s on the front. She flipped it over and smiled as the person had written on the back: Open me last :) 
“On the other side of the damn country and still giving commands.” 
And you’re still following them, she imagined his voice shooting back at her as she placed the thick envelope to the side and reached into the bag. She made quick work of discarding the multi-colored gift bag paper to reveal two books. She pulled the first one out. 
“Whoa,” she muttered as she took in a first edition copy of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. She turned it over in her hands, mouth agape as she studied it. It was beautiful and she knew it cost a pretty penny.  
Her hand reached into the bag and pulled out a book she knew all too well. Her own. An odd gift, she thought, though she supposed it was sweet that he went looking for it in the first place. She wondered how he found it as she published under a pseudonym but she imagined a man with his resources could find out almost anything he wanted with time. 
She flipped it open as she sat back down on her bed, a smaller envelope the size of a card falling out of it. He had stuck it in on the acknowledgements page, which read: From one dreamer to another. 
She opened Michael’s card and took in his handwriting. 
Thank you for sharing what you did with me on your birthday. I know the day isn’t easy. And apologies that this gift was so late - but I figured this was a loophole in the no gifts rule if you got it weeks later? And it took some time to track down your book. You didn’t make it easy. I’m looking forward to reading it on my flight. I generally agree with everything you say but I would disagree with one thing you said that night. The first time we met, you said Maya Angelou’s book saved you and gave you hope. I’m sure somewhere in this world, a young girl is reading your book and it’s doing the same for her. That’s something good that came out of October 15: the world got you. And that’s worth celebrating in my opinion. 
I hope, one day, you see that too.
Happy Birthday
Michael 
Raven let the tears that streamed down her face fall, one of them splashing against the glossy cover of her book. She wiped it away before rereading his card over and over again. She hated how he seemed to see her, really see her, and everything she truly needed. There he was again, caring more than anyone else, more than he should have, even when she was mad at him.  It just made her want him for every reason she shouldn’t. She should want to fuck him… she should want his money… That was all she signed up to get. A few months of cash and to let him dick her down better than she ever had been before. All her problems and loneliness solved, at least temporarily.
Instead, her heart and soul were slipping deep into dangerous territory, he was dangerous territory. She still tried to force herself to resist it, her body hanging by a rope that was fraying at the middle as if an invisible force was taking an ax to it. And she did not know if she wanted to scramble back onto the ledge or let herself fall.
After a few minutes, she picked up the other envelope and slid the folded up pieces of paper out of it. The first one made her gasp… a flight confirmation for a first class ticket to Paris dated for one week from today. The second page was a short list of the things she should pack.  And the third was her hotel confirmation, a suite at a hotel she could not even pronounce but one quick google search let her know it was one of the nicest and most expensive hotels the city had to offer. 
The last page only contained two sentences in Michael’s handwriting. 
I hope you have a passport. See you in one week.
Raven spread the pages out on the counter, her face paralyzed in shock. 
“What the actual fuck?” She examined all of them, rereading as if the information on them would vanish or change right before her eyes. But the flight confirmation had her name on it, the hotel room… her name. It was all there in black and white. He was inviting her to Paris. 
“I should say no…” she spoke to herself, a false ring of conviction in her voice. “I can’t accept this.” Her internal debate raged as she paced up and down by the kitchen island, her eyes studying the papers with each pass. 
You know you want to, the devil on her shoulder reasoned. And fuck, did she want to. It’s fun… when’s the last time we took a trip or did anything fun? 
She had never wanted to accept anything as badly as she wanted to accept this. She chewed on her lip so hard she was surprised she did not draw blood as she debated and debated. Until her phone buzzed with a text from Mr. Surprises himself.
Michael: damn you sleep late as hell. 
Michael: Am I gonna see you in Paris in a week?
Raven: This was a huge gamble… What if I didn’t have a passport? 🤔
Michael: It was a huge gamble but not because of the passport. Consider it PTO… Come live a little. 
Michael: So did my gamble pay off or nah? 
She read through the papers one more time, deciding then and there that she was 100% going to Paris. Even her pride could not allow her to deny herself this experience. However, she decided to make him sweat a little, though she doubted he actually would. 
Raven: I guess you’ll find out in seven days. Thanks for the gift.  
Raven locked her phone before chuckling to herself. She grabbed her phone and the itinerary page and let out an excited squeal and did a happy dance before she raced off to her closet. She had a trip to pack for. 
Tag list: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333@roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc
***
A/N: Wellllllllll… a lot happened! A little angst, a little fluff, a little smut lol just gave y'all the full spectrum of things. And it wouldn't be one of my fics if I didn't give you a character or two to despise along the way lol
Next chapter, we go to Paris, which not gonna lie… that wasn't in the OG outline of this haha but inspiration struck and now I'm very excited lol Drop a comment and let me know all your thoughts lol Thanks for reading!
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s-i-mp · 2 years
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𝘿𝙤 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪? <3
2012 TMNT x Rise! Reader
PLEASE GO TO @simp999 FOR THE SAME POST, IT'S MY MAIN BLOG, I GOTTA DELETE THIS ONE! If you're so kind as to leave a comment or a follow, please go to the other blog!!
Ship:2012 Donatello x reader + platonic Leo, Raph, Mikey :)) Word count: 3.4k (save me) A/N: We really need more platonic tmnt content, it's so cute! <3 And happy mutation day to the turtles!
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“Donnie? And the rest of the guys?” It was somewhat dark out, the early winter months rolling around.The mutant turtles looked at the short figure, surprised that they knew who at least one of them was. Donatello muttered to himself, wondering who this new person was lurking in the same back alleyway as his brothers and him.
He flinched, almost instantly feeling a pair of small hands cup his face. He was about to attempt to sweep your feet from under you with his bo staff, but he hadn’t sensed any danger from you whatsoever. “You guys all look different.” You seemed even more confused at this point, this was most definitely not your Donnie. Your Don was at least a few inches shorter than this one and would have most likely sent a sarcastic comment your way by now. You glanced to your left to see a much smaller Raphael sending an irritated glare your way. That’s odd, your Raph would have probably asked if you needed any help.
Then, it clicked. “HE SENT ME TO ANOTHER UNIVERSE?!” 
You now appeared to be absolutely insane, and that’s coming from a bunch of mutant turtles. You mutter to yourself about “kicking Donnie's ass” and “this wasn’t the plan!”. Raphael and Leo take a fighting stance, but before they try anything, the new Donnie tries to calm you down and understand what’s going on. You’re still panicking but you try your best to explain how you’re from a different universe and that you got transported here. “-Then Leo from my universe accidentally pushed me into Don’s newest invention- this wasn’t supposed to happen! I was just trying to help out-” You cut yourself off, remembering something. You quickly pull up your left sleeve to see the wristwatch ‘your’ Donatello made for you. You swiftly begin to type on it, trying anything you can to send any messages back to him, your location, anything at all, but nothing works. The purple masked turtle noticed how advanced your watch is, seeing how a hologram, as well as some sort of keyboard, popped up. He’s never seen anything quite like it. “Hey, um, do you happen to know what year you're from? We don’t have access to that kind of technology - yet that is.”
Raph and Leo put away their weapons after noticing how calm Donatello was with you, still keeping their guard up. “Oh, yes! The year I was in was 2018. My Donnie made me this trinket for my birthday. It’s pretty useful-” you attempt to send another message, failing once again, “-when it works, of course.” “So what now? Do we let them hang out with us? I think they seem pretty cool!” Michelangelo butts in, tired of having to act like such an innocent-looking person is a threat. “Mikey, you idiot, we don’t even know them! How could we possibly-” “I think we should let them stay with us for the time being, if they have no one else to stay with.” Donatello turns his head to you, “It seems you were quite close with your version of us, right?” “Yeah! I hung out with them at the lair all the time. Spent most of my time challenging them to super-smash bros or assisting Don in whatever project he was working on.” You were almost excited to give your answer, very much enjoying the time you used to spent with the boys. Then the fear sunk in once again. “He’s probably trying to bring me back, right? I won’t be stuck here forever?” You too a deep breath in. “I already miss them, even if they were loud.”
The turtles from this universe noticed how worried you appeared, being away from your closest friends, and all ultimately deciding to bring you to see master Splinter. On the way, Mikey wouldn’t stop nagging you with all sorts of questions; name, hobbies, favorite food, if you like pizza, anything he could come up with. You answered every one of them enthusiastically, throwing a fond memory in the mix every once in a while. 
“So, dude, you said earlier that we look different than your guys, right? What do they look like?” “Well, Raph and Donnie are taller- oh!” Mikey tilted his head your way at your exclamation, watching you pat yourself down. 
“Still got it! I’ve got some pictures of them on my phone!” You didn’t have any connection, but you still had the pictures saved in your gallery. You pulled up one with everyone there. It was a little blurry, but you could still easily make out yourself in the bottom left corner of the photo. Raph was trailing behind Mikey, who was on his flying skateboard in the background. A little closer was Donnie tinkering with some scrap parts with a smirk on his face, and finally, Leo sitting on the back of the couch casually cheering Mikey on. 
You began to swipe through pictures of you and the boys individually. Raph training with you - Mikey must have snatched that picture, you thought. A selfie of yourself and Leo, who was covering his face, in front of the scoreboard after challenging him at Mario Kart and winning. Mikey who fell asleep on you, pencil in hand and sketchbook in his lap after one of your regular drawing sessions. Finally, a blurry selfie of you surprise-hugging Donatello from behind, in his lab. You could clearly see his surprised expression along with a smile, a big toothy grin covering your face. You gave a short backstory on all of them while showing them, proving that you really were close friends. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eventually, you met up with Splinter, politely asking questions and answering some. You were much calmer and more respectful than the turtles were expecting, given how excitable and easy-going you seemed. Finally, you left his meditation room, telling the turtles what you assumed would be your plan. “I figure that my Donnie’s probably trying his best to open another portal, but we have no way of communication. It’s basically just a waiting game now. Master Splinter says it’s okay if I chill with you guys, is that alright with you?” Mikey was the first to agree, as long as you got to hang out and draw with him just like the other version of him did. Donnie agreed as well, feeling some sort of connection, almost as if he knew you in a way. He loved the idea of having another nerdy person to help him with his inventions, and especially to spend time with. Leo went along with it, deciding you weren’t a threat. He also felt that you might bring some joy, changing up their routine a bit. Same old same old isn’t always the best. Raph was the last, begrudgingly agreeing, but only because you didn’t seem like “too much of a bother.” He earned himself a whack on the back of his head for that. Donnie decided to pull you away from the others, saying that you probably have some experience with cool tech and could help him out with some of his inventions. You walked over to Donatello’s lab, still admired by the inventions he had even if they weren’t built with all the new tech you had. No matter what Donnie makes, it’s always pretty cool. That definitely doesn’t change throughout universes. He sat down in his rolling chair while you found a comfortable stool to sit on, bringing it close to his work so you could watch. Every so often you would point out something he could do better, and he’d be amazed by your knowledge. You enjoyed the time you spent with him, swaying your feet on the stool while he hunched over his desk, tightening one of the screws with a screwdriver. 
“And done!” He exclaimed, bringing his head up to look at you, not realizing how close your face was from watching him work. You barely got to see Donnie’s face heat up before he turned his head away from you, muttering a small “sorry”. You let out a short giggle, before complimenting his work. 
“All right, let’s test this thing out! It better work, let’s hope it doesn’t just look cool for nothing.” You spoke up, not wanting him to feel awkward around you. 
After testing it out, Leonardo came in to tell you two that supper was ready. The other two brothers were already on the couch, pizza in hand, watching some show on tv. You joined them on the couch after grabbing your own piece. Raph quietly scooted a little farther away while you dramatically put a hand on your chest, as if insulted by the act alone. Mikey snickered at your small interaction.
“So, you guys have any games?” 
Mikey gulped down his last bite of pizza and proceeded to list off a bunch of Wii games they had. You liked the idea of challenging them to Mario kart, so you did just that. Raph refused to admit that he wanted to hang out with the newbie but stuck around close enough to watch you all battle it out. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few hours of gaming later, Raph eventually joined, and all of the boys were much more comfortable with you around. Mikey was laying in your lap, Donatello was sitting right next to you, your knees or elbows bumping every so often from the game, and Leo was sitting right in front of you. You were slowly getting tired, so you gave up your remote for the night, opting to watch the brothers duke it out instead. Eventually, soft snores could be heard from Donnie’s shoulder and slightly louder ones from your lap. Leo took notice of this and finally stood up and spoke quietly: “That’s it for tonight, we can have more fun tomorrow. We should all get some sleep.” He then walked away and Raphael soon followed. ..Leaving Donnie stuck with you sleeping on him, him not wanting to wake you up, of course. He contemplated trying to move you gently, but he didn’t have the heart to move you when you looked so adorably comfortable. He ended up making do with the blankets and pillows he had within reach, following you into dreamland. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next day, you awoke with Mikey wrapped up comfortably in your arms, while a cozy pillow was supporting your head. You gently rolled Mikey off of you, trudging towards the smell of pancakes. Plates were being dished out by Donnie. Leo was passing by you, mumbling a short “good morning,” most likely on his way to go get Mikey. Raph was already sitting at the table, letting out a big yawn. “Mornin’ guys!” Donnie looked up to see you in the doorway, while Raph once again pretended that you didn’t exist. “Oh! Good morning, y/n,” he places the last plate down on the table, “Is there anything you’d like to drink?” You tell him that a small glass of milk sounds nice, and complementing how good the food smells. He thanks you and Mikey and Leo walk into the kitchen together, Mikey looking much more groggy than hs brother, rubbing the sleep out of one of his eyes. Breakfast goes by quickly. You notice that you’re the second one done, Raph being the first. Speaking of him, where is he? You decide to go check the training room, hearing small grunts as you get closer. Eventually, you’re in the doorway, watching Raph send kicks and punches toward a poor punching bag. Once he finally stops for a water break is when he notices you. 
“Holy hell dude, when did you get here?” You shrugged and decided to irk him, hoping to get a friendly fight out of him. You walk towards him slowly, ready to dig your own grave. “I thought you were a ninja, aren’t you supposed to know when people sneak up on you?” He catches a stupid smirk on your face, deciding that he’s had enough with the new person. Raph pretends to send a smile your way, (which he was very bad at), before attacking you with roundhouse kick to the head. Not a hard one of course, just enough to make it so you’d stay clear from his path. Or so he thought. You quickly block his kick with a middle block, twisting your hand around his leg and grabbing it, holding it in place so you can send a kick back at him with momentum. Before you can land a hit, he breaks his leg free and manages to block just in time. He gives you no time before attempting to attack again, the back-and-forth banter becoming enjoyable. He’s only ever had the same few opponents to practice with, so this felt nice. Instead of using anger to fuel his powerful moves, he was enjoying it. Eventually, you grabbed his hand and bent his finger in a way it wasn’t supposed to, his body not allowing him to go the way he wanted anymore. You followed through and sent him to the ground, hand behind his back, face planted on the ground, you sitting on his shell claiming victory. You stand up, after making sure he knew he lost of course, and offered him a hand. You were definitely expecting another attack, maybe he’d drag you to the ground with him? But instead, you were met with a handshake along with a praise of your skill. Overall, it’s safe to say he doesn’t ignore your presence anymore. He finally sees you as someone near his level, or at least, someone who is worth his time. Once the sparring session is over, as Raphael walks out, Leonardo walks in. You were beginning some stretches, knowing it’ll save you from being too sore later. Leo comes next to you and asks if he can join in. he begins to lead some cooldowns, you following along for some, and doing your own thing for others. 
“I’m surprised you got Raph to like you so quickly, is he and yours alike?”“Honestly, no, not at all. My Raph is very much a big teddy bear. Sure, he enjoys sparring, but he’s always too afraid to hurt me. What a big softie. I usually end up sparring with my Leo instead if it comes to it.” You glance at him, then focus back on your stretching, “You’re much calmer than my Leo. I won’t say he’s energetic, but most definitely more egotistical. You’re almost a nice break from all his chat about being the best, really.” “Me? Egotistical? I don’t see it.” You quirk a brow up at him, not believing it. He may be from a different universe, but it’s still Leonardo. “Okay, maybe a little. But it’s much better than not being confident in your moves. Holding back is the worst thing you can do in a fight..” You nod at him, glad he has more common sense than your Leonardo back home. You stand back up from stretching your legs, leaving the dojo right after kindly bidding your goodbye. 
You decide to head to Mikey’s room, looking for him, since you haven’t spent much time with him yet. As soon as you open the door, you’re tackled in a hug and spun around. “You’re here to hang out with me! Finally! Alright, do you wanna draw or play on the Wii?”You figure your heart had raced hard enough today, so you opted to draw. (Mario Kart is difficult against the guys, okay?) It may not be what you expected from Mikey, maybe something more along the lines of playing pranks on his brothers or sneaking out for pizza, but he was just glad to spend some quality time with a cool new person. He quickly gathered some pencils and sketchbooks while you plopped down on his bed. After picking everything up, he lays down on your lap once again, finding a comfortable position for the both of you. Even if you’re doing a quiet activity like drawing, it won’t be quiet for long with Mikey around. A few minutes after drawing he starts shooting questions your way, just about the same scenario as yesterday happening once again. You were glad to answer all of his questions. He was happy to listen to your stories, giddy that he was learning more about you. After a while of chatting and drawing, you finished and wanted to give your neck a break from looking downwards at your paper. You put your pencil down and rested your head on the pillow behind you, absentmindedly toying with the strands of Mikey’s mask; something you did fairly often with your Mikey. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s been nearly two weeks since you first met the turtles and you had gotten to spend a lot of time with them. They helped a ton when you felt lonely or lost without your version of them. Of course, you still missed Raph’s bear hugs, Don’s snarky remarks, Leo’s ego and Mikey’s energy. But theturlesyou werewith now were still fun to hang out with. Currently, you and the rest of the boys were out on patrol. They had no destination or mission set, it was mostly just to get out of the hideout. Mikey was ahead of the group, balancing on the railing of the building you guys were walking on the roof of. All of a sudden, you hear a familiar voice that immediately brings a wide smile scross your features. “Y/N?! Are you here?”
You jumped down from the building, hearing the voice coming from the alley below. The turtles were too slow to catch you, but luckily, the owner of the voice was there. 
“DONNIE!”
You jumped straight into his arms, making him grunt from the impact, then spinning you around. “Oh, how I missed my small lab assistant! Now I don’t have to deal with Leo’s antics anymore! He gets so much more annoying when you’re not around,” he carefully put you down and places a hand on his hip, ”Seriously, I had to make my lab portal-proof, just so that he wouldn’t barge-”The next thing Donatello knew, you were you of his reach and holding both of your Mikey’s hands. “I missed you so much! We need to hang out again! It was so loney without you~” He gave you his best puppy-dog eyes, hoping you’d spend your time with him first. You hugged him tight, promising to hang out and not leave his side. But of course, a mystic portal had opened up underneath you, leading you to fall into your Leo’s arms. “Falling for me?-” he felt a metal staff hit the back of his head, along with an  “Absolutely not, ‘Nardo.” from behind him. While he was distracted, your Raph had gently picked you up and put you on his shoulders with a smile on his face, mimicking yours. He was just glad to have you back. Before Your Leo and Donnie could continue bickering, you wanted to introduce your boys to the turtles that you got to hang out with for the past weeks. 
With sparkles in your eyes, you introduced them to the other versions of them. Recalling your favorite memories while hanging out, you couldn’t help but keep a smile plastered on your face. Until you remembered something. “Hey, Don?” The taller boy was about to reply, but was cut off by a ‘hmm?’ From your Donnie. 
He felt a slight pain in his chest. This whole time whenever you’d say ‘My boys’ or ‘my Donnie’ he felt.. important to you. Even if you weren’t talking about him. But now he realised that he wasn’t special to you anymore. You guys weren’t really friends, he was just there to try to replicate your Donnie. To make you feel less lonely. Why did he think you really did enjoy his company? Of course you didn’t. He could never dream of you and him- “Can I come back and see them again? I don’t wanna leave them. I know it would mess up the timeline if I stayed for too long, but- I love hanging out with them. Will the portal allow inter-dimentional travelling more than once?...” Your new friend’s eyes grew wide, brimming with tears. He saw your mouth move, but could no longer hear the words coming from it. You.. enjoyed your time with them? You want to hang out again? .
.
. Maybe he did have a chance with you after all.
Sep. 29. 22
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vaspider · 3 months
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Do you have any advice you're able to give currently on dealing with ableist harassment and dogpiles? It's the whole nine yards - people putting words in our mouth even to the point of claiming we said the opposite of what we said; calling us crazy and insane and saying we should be institutionalized; blaming us for horrific and violent ableist harassment of people who also reblogged the same post we did who disagreed with us; and directly talked over and erased my experiences as a severely disabled person.
(What I said literally boiled down to: "hey, let's not moralize having hobbies because it doesn't make people less capable of harm or more likely to be an asshole, and also please stop saying all disabled people are abled enough to have hobbies because I've been disabled enough before to not be able to have even consumptive (meaning like watching tv or listening to music) hobbies for long stretches of time". There's a similar longer version of that on my personal blog as well, but the harassment is on my shared disability sideblog.)
Like I guess I just... it's okay if people disagree, but the amount of other disabled people who were actively cruel and literally saying people like me don't exist and being so desperate to shut me up talking about my experiences with ableism that they spam harassed the blog is really hard. Like I've been on the internet long enough to know that this is utterly par for the course for disability discourse and even to know that any claim of "can you believe someone said [ridiculous thing] is ableist" is a dogwhistle that it's either manipulation of or outright lies about what the original disabled person actually said in order to shut down the actual conversation but...
I know you've dealt with this, so do you have any more advice on how to handle it than "turn off anon, temporarily turn off asks if necessary, delete the reblog if the harassment gets too much" (already done, mod health comes before discourse as a hard rule)? Especially for like, dealing with the internal emotions about it and not just the situation?
Um also if you don't want to answer this at all feel free to just like, put a stop sign emoji or something and I won't send any more asks about it. I know you publish all asks but since I know this is a stressful subject I still wanna let you know that I will NOT be an unsafe person if you just wanna tell me to fuck off X)
This has been sitting in my inbox for quite a while bc I didn't have the energy to answer it.
There's no one good way to deal with dogpiles, and you've already listed most of them. A couple more, randomly:
Make sure you take time away. Go see a movie bc it'll make you put your phone away, you know?
Have someone else look at your asks and emails so you ain't gotta.
Report shit. It won't really do anything, but it'll make you feel better, anyway.
If you're actually physically threatened or any of the things really twig your "something is really wrong," make a Google Drive folder and stash screenshots in case shit escalates to you needing to talk to law enforcement. If nothing else, it'll help you feel like you're in control.
The last one is more helpful than you'd think.
I hope it's let up for you.
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lokislytherin · 1 year
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lookism x pjo snippets?
og au plan is RIGHT HERE and i didn’t wanna reblog bc long posts get nerfed by tumblr sometimes but i Saw this in a dream and i gotta write it down before my shitty memory deletes it
here we go: [i’m literally jumping right to the ending bc idk what’s in the middle]
the death of jay hong, son of hades.
hyungseok didn’t know what happened.
one minute he was standing there, happily chatting to crystal and jay, and the next minute crystal’s eyes were glowing with a righteous fury hyungseok knew didn’t belong to her.
“crystal!” he shouted, parrying her sword with his own, “get a grip!”
jay tried to help him, but the daughter of zeus brushed him away like he meant nothing, her electric blue eyes solely focused on hyungseok. crystal’s blade came down on him, heavy with the wrath of the gods, and all hyungseok could do was try his best to hold her off. he’d always been better with a bow than a sword. he didn’t have time to learn all the weapons before being shoved into a quest. 
he didn’t want to hurt crystal, nor did he want her to hurt him. so all he did was defend himself, refusing to attack. she attacked him with everything she had, lightning and thunder and years of living as a demigod. 
“crystal, stop!”
she swung her blade down, her entire form wreathed in lightning. hyungseok would’ve been dead if not for jay pushing him out of the way in the nick of time. the son of hades grunted as crystal’s sword sliced a line from his shoulder to waist. his blood sparked with lightning, and the scythe in his hand clattered to the ground as he collapsed.
hyungseok took a deep breath, trying to control his world shattering around him, and with all the power he could muster, he shouted: “CRYSTAL, STOP!”
she froze where she stood, halted in time.
“jay!”
hyungseok fell to his knees next to him, trying to stop the blood. jay’s breath came in ragged gasps. “jay, stay with me, come on, you gotta stay with me!”
jay coughed weakly, and blood bubbled out of his lips. i’m okay, he tried to say, don’t worry about me.
“but you’re bleeding!”
well... he reached up to press a clammy hand against hyungseok’s cheek. better me than you, i suppose. you’ve got more to do with your life than let it end like this.
and then a hole opened up in the floor.
jay’s hand latched onto his immediately as the concrete floor under him fell away, and hyungseok grabbed onto jay’s hand with all the strength in his body. he squeezed so hard he could feel the bones in jay’s hand shift under his grip.
it was hard. jay was around the same height as him, with a similar build too, and hyungseok didn’t know how long he could last. the fight against crystal had already left him exhausted.
you have to let me go.
“no! i won’t!”  hyungseok shook his head vehemently. “ jay, you’ll fall! you’re already-” both of their hands were slippery with jay’s blood, and hyungseok almost lost his balance when a part of the pavement next to him crumbled and fell away.
jagiya, it’s okay. jay still had the energy to smile at him, even though his grip was growing slack. the underworld is my domain. i know it’s tartarus, but i’ll be fine. 
tartarus? hyungseok had heard about the rumors - tartarus was reserved as a special kind of hell for the wicked and the damned. even if he was hades’ only demigod son, there was no way jay - kind, sweet, mortally injured jay - would make it out of there alive. 
hyungseok couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing jay again. “even if you’re a son of hades, that’s still- you’ll still-”
jay’s smile turned sad. i love you, he mouthed, his lips moving around the words. more than i care about myself. so you have to let me go.
jay’s hand slipped out of hyungseok’s, and hyungseok watched him fall down, down, down, until the darkness swallowed him whole. the yawning chasm to the underworld closed with a rumbling of earth.
hyungseok couldn’t stop himself from shaking, gasping as the tears fell from his eyes. jay was gone, maybe forever.
the only thing left of his best friend - his friend who loved him too much to let him die, sacrificed himself to tartarus for him - was the jagged crack in the ground, and the blood on hyungseok’s hands.
“i swear,” he whispered, his guilt and grief fading into a red-hot, boiling rage, “i’ll destroy all of those bastard gods, every single one.”
the silence was deafening. it was like the gods were mocking him, saying i’d like to see you try, boy.
the threads of fate had already been put in motion, and there was nothing more hyungseok could do than fulfil the second half of that god-damned prophecy.
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Text
20 Questions for Writers
I was tagged by @fire-fira for this ❤
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Only 25 (there are a hidden 15 in my drafts on my computer that will never ever be posted)
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
275,306
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Thus far on Ao3;
DC Comics Tolkien Astro Boy and one stray Cave Story fic
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
1.) Sunshine. Falling. 2.) Under Silver Light 3.) A New Upgrade (which surprised me I totally forgot about this ancient ass fic) 4.) Band Aid 5.) Befuddled in Red
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I usually almost always unless it's a wank ass comment which case it gets deleted. I always love getting replies back from authors so I feel most people like the engagement.
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
The Summer of Light. Slobo was terminally ill, he was dying, and despite all efforts from everyone, despite all our love and impact on the world in general it would never be enough to save him. The Lighthouse was him, btw.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Uhhh... Well, (spoilers) Sunshine. Falling. will have the best ending ever. But shhh. We gotta get there first. Otherwise... I think almost all my little fics have nice happy endings - particularly Funfetti Cake and Befuddled in Red.
8. Do you get hate on your fic?
Lol... There's this one reviewer who is totally obsessed with Sunshine. Falling. and with each chapter I upload they almost always have something nasty to say about it being Konbart. I delete it of course. And there was another person who commented on The Summer of Light (it's probably the same person) who just really thinks I should be writing another ship instead.
9. Do you write smut?
Yes. I want to write more.
10. Do you write crossovers?
I have not written any as of now but I don't mind them. I still feel like a Mass Effect/Star Trek crossover might be fun or a Mass Effect/LOSH fic but I need an idea first. I also might do a self indulgent Jetter Mars meets Atom fic but we'll see.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
As far as I know, NO.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
YES. Under Silver Light was translated into Russian of which I am immensely proud of.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
No, the closest I have ever come to this is having a friend write a fic BASED ON an rp we had.
14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?
I really hate 'favorite' questions because I have like... a collection I sort of juggle around but ATM it is the following;
Konbart Querl/Lyle Jay/Eddie Halbarry Jaime/Khaji da and last but not least my oldest of the oldest otp X/Zero
15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I have no fic that is in limbo ❤ Sunshine. Falling. is the only WIP I have and it is on the way (after Dark Crisis: Impulse).
16. What’s your writing strengths?
No idea. I think I'm pretty good at describing atmosphere though. Willpower. Spite.
17. What’s your writing weaknesses?
Not caring enough about overall quality I guess and I really DO just "Settle for done" bc I really don't... care.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Always the correct choice if it is done correctly and in a way that makes sense. I've read some fics where it's just... peppered in with no real reason and it is jarring. I thought about trying to come up with Interlac words for everyone speaking Interlac but decided on not going that route and instead being sensible and just using italics.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Mega Man X baby 😎
20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?
Summer of Light and Wind Shear.
Pssst. Wind Shear is a Jenni fic. Go read it.
Tagging: I aint tagging no one, but please anyone seeing this just say I tagged you if you want to do something.
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someoneinjersey · 10 months
Text
while googling the answer to "why does 5 seconds of summer hate their song 'dont' stop'" last night i came upon a tumblr post from a now deactivated account, dated 8 years ago listing four big reasons why they hate 5sos.
as someone who's almost 40 and just became a 5sos fan and has lived through the golden and bullshit days of pop punk and little bands full of dudes etc, i was like OP I JUST WANNA TALK
like their points were that 1) they steal riffs and logos and designs, 2) theyre mean to fans, 3) theyre sexist, and 4) theyre homophobic.
as to point 1 -- at the time the post was made, they were still teenagers (or three of them were, one was 21) and they were of COURSE going to be making music and designs or whatever that were influenced by the bands they liked and grew up on. that's how that shit works, both being teens and being in bands. its extremely hard to be original anymore, and you can't even say the bands they copied were being original either because they TOO were drawing from artists who came before. everything old is new again, every song sounds like another song and every art design has been influenced by another or is a tribute to another. that's just ART. the video linked to prove that a 5sos song was the same as another band's (it was either MCR or FOB or Green Day, idr) is no longer available, but i think a better video to watch would be one of several that points out all popular songs are from the same chords.
as to point 2 -- again, the post cited that explained the bad experience has since been deleted, but you will find that EVERY SINGLE ACTOR OR SINGER OR BAND OR ANY TYPE OF CELEBRITY HAS STORIES FROM FANS WHERE THEY WERE "MEAN". because people have bad days, and sometimes fans really feel entitled to too much of them. we as consumers of their art aren't entitled to shit. and once more (this is a theme to my pov) they were literal teenagers who shot to fame and by their own accounts were sometimes doing five countries in five days.
points 3 and 4 -- the sexism and the homophobia which were just old twitter posts ... i would like to know if OP has ever met a group of young male friends or anyone from australia. obviously we know now that shit's not kosher and hope they've grown and learned, but they were teenagers (I say this because all the ones cited were by Michael who was not the member who was 21 at the time of OP's list). they're about the same age as my brother, and having been around him and his friends at that age ... that's how they talk to each other. same with having had a best friend from australia for 17 years, culturally it's not a big deal to say shit like that. and AGAIN if it's about putting it on twitter for everyone to see, THEY WERE STUPID BOYS.
even though i'm not on twitter anymore (or fucking X or whatever) and i don't follow them on social media at all, i haven't seen anything to suggest they still have that same dumb boy mindset. and you can look at it like, thats me being sexist or ageist, or you can look at it like i'm excusing it all because of their age and gender and the cultural differences, plus their parents probably didn't teach them any differently. so honestly take this however you want but like man. having lived through the pop punk bandom during the 2000s and 2010s, you gotta be able to separate people making stupid mistakes from people doing really fucked up shitty things.
so thats my rant because that post rubbed me the wrong way OH WELL.
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bisamwilson · 2 years
Text
fanfic writer asks
Tagged by: @oftincturedwords​, thank u!!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
32!
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
221,815! which is wild
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
you’ll only find things for the mcu/tfatws bc i orphaned a bunch of really old fics from when i was a (pre) teen, but back in the day i also wrote for divergent, pjo, les mis, and i think a few others
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
oh so saccharine (304)
i wanna hear it loud (292)
religion (u can lay your hands on me) (290)
renaissance man (263)
i just met you (and this is crazy) (256)
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
the star wars au! it’s still a hopeful sort of angsty i think, but that whole fic is mostly just pining and feelings that don’t really get resolved so,,,, definitely not SUPER angsty, but more angsty than i usually go for
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
i feel like most of my fics have happy endings bc i just can’t write angst for too long adkjfhs, but stuck in the middle with you filled my “happy ending” sam wilson bingo square, so i’m gonna go with that one
7. Do you write crossovers? If so , what is the craziest one you’ve written?
nope! i’ve never been a fan of reading crossovers, so i’m not really keen to write one either. i’ll write an au all day, but i’m prob not going to have jim and spock time travel back to meet sam and bucky, yk?
8. Do you write smut? If so , what kind?
oh boy do i! 50% of my published works are rated E asdjkf. i’m not really sure what the “what kind” question is asking? like is this asking if i write m/m, f/f, m/f? if so, i’ve only ever written m/m(/m) but could be open to writing f/f if i come across a ship i want to write for it! i can’t see myself writing m/f smut ever, but maybe one day. if it’s asking what i usually write about, i’ve written many a sex scene with many a kink between sam and bucky, but i guess i usually write top bucky more than top sam (though i’m a firm believer they do switch, bucky just tops 75-90% of the time)
9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
yes! i usually end up responding to comments around the time i post my next fic asdfjk but i read them all as soon as i get that email from ao3! i respond to comments bc sometimes people have things to add on to or ask about a fic and i want to engage, but even when it’s just a “this is great!” i want to say thank you so they know i saw and appreciated their comments!
10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
not hate per se, but i have had a couple people comment “this is great, but i think i would’ve written x” which i promptly delete without responding. also to that one person who commented on my consensual somnophilia fic saying they kind of hoped sam would moan out someone else’s name while asleep, we have very different opinions on the type of person sam is.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of! and hopefully i never will, that would be heartbreaking
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
nope! if anyone would ever want to translate my fic they’re welcome to tho and i’d love to get linked to it!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
nothing published, but @yammz and i started a 5+1 sbj fic where bucky is a menace about sexting when sam and joaquín are on missions! it’s admittedly been a while since we’ve worked on it though, it’s been a busy summer (and i have so many other writing deadlines rip)
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
i mean the fact that it inspired me to write fic and gave me such a wonderful and vibrant online community i’ve never had before means i feel like i gotta write sambucky here, but spirk comes in a very close second!
15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
as much as it pains me, probably the sbj fic where they’re in an angle relationship with sam in the middle but buckyquin are still pining for each other/thinks the other dislikes them but joaquín gets caught up in a post mission celebration and smacks bucky’s ass playfully and it becomes a Whole Thing. i started it with multiple povs and that is,,, too daunting for me
also jury’s out on whether i’ll ever finish the sam with an eating disorder fic. it’s a bit too personal and i have to make sure i’m not triggering myself while writing it/i’m in a good headspace to do so
16. What are your writing strengths?
i feel like i’m pretty good with dialogue? i write a lot of it and i generally like how it ends up. i also feel like i’m good with characterization, at least with sam and bucky in particular, and i’m really proud of the way i’ve developed them as i write each fic, and the headcanons i come up with and incorporate
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
i hate writing ending lines!!!! i feel like 80% of my ending lines suck and i’m consistently insecure about them and i agonize over them so often or just write a placeholder that ends up in the actual fic bc i couldn’t think of something better
also i love that i feel like i have a writing style, but sometimes i wonder if it’s too much? like if my particular style gets too repetitive the more fics i put out yk? 
18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
i don’t usually do it, mostly bc i only speak one language fluently and my latin/korean (which i took in school) are rusty at best and entirely gone at worst. i enjoy seeing other people do that though, though i will admit i get kind of annoyed when it doesn’t get translated after or in author’s notes, mostly bc google translate never translates anything just right
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
divergent asdfjkahs. i was like 11 and i wrote a small fic (probably 1000 words max) that was some type of character study of tobias i think
20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
i mean the obvious answer here is the princess diaries au bc it’s my baby BUT i’m actually really proud of my star wars au. it’s been a while since i’ve written something and been like “yeah this is really good work and i’m very proud of this” and that’s how i felt when i published that
this one is SUPER long, so very much no pressure tagging @livingincolorsagain, @logicheartsoul, @firstelevens, @yammz, and @obsessivelymoody
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hi friend! at this point, whenever someone asks for dates or updates i kinda feel like sneaking into you inbox to filter the things that get sent to you and only letting the very very positive through, anyway, i’m sending this mainly bc i see this sort of thing in all the fandoms i’ve ever participated in (specially with v active creators) where ppl ask for updates v frequently (even if politely and with a lot of good intention in their heart) and one fic writer in particular had this system where she had a “monthly post” where she would kinda be like “i may post fic x during the first week of july” etc, she did it precisely bc of all the different asks about updates, and had it very well said in the beginning that those were all maybes and not certains, so ppl wouldn’t pester about “missed updates”, kinda like a psa announcement. She also used it to keep track of her own writing, like, words per month, amount of chapters posted. It’s an organization system. Reading it all, I know that doing it may take the… spontaneity off of things, a bit. Makes the whole hobby thing more serious, and might bring anxiety as like “oh, i’m not posting when i said i would” and it might be too much work at all for something silly, so this is a suggestion? said creator (she’s actually a professional writer now!! gotta love her) ended up using that as a sort of calendar (and she had her anons off too, as well as a less problematic corner of the fandom then what we have now). oh! And she also had adhd, and overall reminds me of you a lot. Maybe you’ve even thought about this yourself? Anyway, feel free to delete this ask too, hope you’re great, pumpkin!
I know exactly who you're talking about and the way the fandom treated her was absolute trash. She deserved a lot more grace for what she gave to Reylo and I never once envied her.
especially now.
I think you meant this in like all earnest but like. This ask made me cry actual tears because when does it become enough? Last Young Renegade was updated 48 hours ago. And the chapter before that a week before. Two updates, two weeks. Twenty thousand words between them. In two weeks.
Look at the month. I completed You Should See Me In A Crown. Began I Could Be A Real Nightmare. Two chapters of Right Where You Left Me. Two Chapters of Wonderland. Five of Cruel Summer.
If the fandom wants me to create a sidebar so you can log into tumblr and see how many words I wrote (12k today) and what I worked on and when I plan to update what, then the fandom can pay me to do it. That's a JOB. I don't account for my own time at work like that and I'm not going to do it here.
Why is that even an expectation? This is my HOBBY. I update CONSTANTLY. Go look at what I uploaded in AO3 in May and June. Count the words. I've been in the fandom for a YEAR, CIWYWT was uploaded in May 2021. Like. I'm genuinely asking. At what point is it enough to just assume that I will update when I can and it's not worth harassing me about?
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puttlesculpts · 4 months
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Step 6: Build the skull mask, ruminate a lot. Blender pt 5
With the hood in a good enough place to move on, I wanted to see what it would look like if I used the premade skull mask I had found. As the existence of this post implies: it didn't looks very good!
Never even took a screenshot cuz I nixed that idea so quickly. Which was great, because it was a sign that I was getting more confident in what I could do and the sudden idea of making a mask from scratch was no longer daunting. So I mads a few references and set out to "trace" the model via a flat image and editing the primitive in the isometric views:
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Took a screenshot as face-on as I could but still had to skew + mirror it in PS cus ya boy's face is pretty angled. At least the profile is easy to just rotate.
Anyway, here it is with the images placed for Optimal Isometric Modeling:
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What you don't see here is the struggle to figure out the best way to actually trace things. Ya I could have watched a video, but at some point you just gotta play around with it on your own. So I ended up taking the woodcarving technique and moving all the vertices to where they needed to be at the most important angle. In this case, in Front View, where I moved everything to the exact place I needed it to be on the x/y-axis, which left most of the sculpting to happen on the z-axis.
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This was ALSO the first time I ever deleted faces, something which I forgot I could do, and was much easier than my original plan of just sinking the unneeded surface into his face lol (should probably go back and do this for some of the boot parts)
The mask itself presented a pretty good set of challenges from the previous endeavors, especially with the more natural and rigid nature of bone. I feel like with the cloth of the pants/hood I was able to get away with a little less precision, as there is an inherent unpredictability to the way cloth falls which would not be too noticeable so long as I implied weight well enough (something I was conscious of and played around with :^) ), but the skull portion has a very distinct look with the shapes and shadows.
The mask also needs to be a balancing contrast to the otherwise soft nature of the surrounding cloth pieces. I am wary of my sculpts looking uncanny due to being too smooth and play doh-y (like how the Sims 3 sims looked lmaooo), which is where the skull would come in. I do plan/hope/am praying that brushes will help toward the end to give things a bit of a lived-in feel, and I know there's a way to add additional 3D textures similar to how you add 2D ones, but that was something I briefly tried to do in the past with no luck. In spite of that, I am confident I will be able to figure it out now that I've learned so much more about what I am actually doing in Blender.
With all that being said, the teeth killed me lmao
When I made the general shape of the mask, I thought about just using the mouth portion from the original model I was gonna use. However, that gave me a whole nest of problems on its own. Mainly these huge fucking clusters of vertices:
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They made Blender super slow, hoping between edit/object mode was a nightmare, and applying a modifier was a guarantee like 5 minutes of no response. And I spent a good amount of time and troubleshooting trying to fix this (including decimating the geometry, attempting to remove this entire back side + extruding, mirroring, etc) but at the end of the day I just decided it wasn't worth it.
This was a major factor in my decision to started moving away from remixing existing models. I realized that I actually do care about the amount of control I have over them + with each successful part I made, it would make each borrowed one feel that much more out of place.
So major character development here: I am officially gonna axe any plans I had for borrowing models! Except for the skull pauldron, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there lol
Anyway, here are the steps I took trying to make the teeth work before decided to JUST include the teeth and do the rest of the sculpting post-print in epoxy.
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I ended up using someone else's teeth tho cus I tried making my own via extrusion (looked bad, look like those lil square gums) and sculpting.
Turns out idk what teeth look like and I could not be bothered to do the entire reference process, especially when I KNOW someone out there probably made a perfectly good set of individual teeth. And someone did!
Anyway, I refined the mask further to give it more shape and will probably continue to work on the teeth as I progress onto other pieces. Who knows, maybe I will eventually gain the skills and confident to say fuck it and just make the entire mask in 3D too.
Up next: Additional head details, maybe the straps on his chest? Gloves pt 2? The BIG cloth wraps? tbd tbh
Sneak preview of the extra details + o ya I learned how to add simple colors cuz it was getting difficult to see all the different lil light gray pieces on his head, but then I got carried away and did the whole body
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the only one for me ~ machine gun kelly
word count: 1493
request?: yes!
“MGK Fluff ??”
description: the endless dating rumors regarding her boyfriend start to get to her
pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader
warnings: swearing, insecurities
masterlist (one, two)
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Logging onto Twitter and seeing yet another dating rumor regarding my boyfriend and some famous, beautiful female was basically a daily routine at this point. It seemed to be nothing new, but that didn’t make it hurt any less every time I saw a new post about it.
The latest rumored lady to have “stolen Colson’s heart” was Megan Fox, who had starred in Colson’s latest music video. The article I was reading stated how much chemistry Colson and Megan had on set and how it was “so obvious” that they had a secret romance happening behind the scenes.
I wasn’t hurt because I believed the rumors. I trusted Colson. I knew he’d never cheat on me, but seeing all these beautiful women and seeing his fans and media outlets commenting on how cute he would look with someone else so much prettier than me really did nothing for my confidence.
I wasn’t famous, I was just your average girl who worked an average hob and went to school on the side. Due to this, Colson and I decided to keep our relationship a secret so I wouldn’t be harassed by paparazzi and fans. I appreciated the privacy I had been getting, but it did make it hard to see all these dating rumors.
This rumor got to me in a way the others hadn’t before and I had an overwhelming urge to call Colson. He was probably asleep or preparing for the show that night, but I needed to hear his voice.
I was shocked when he answered on the third ring. “Hey babe!”
I could hear a crowd on his end of the call. “Hey! What’s all the noise?”
“We’re celebrating before I go on stage.”
“Before?” I asked, teasingly. “What are you guys celebrating?”
“The Bloody Valentine video hit a million views in less than 24 hours! None of my videos have ever done that before, so we’re celebrating.”
“Oh my God, Colson that’s amazing! Congratulations!”
Someone called out to Colson on his end. I could hear him responding, but his response was muffled as I realized the voice was a female voice.
“Is that...is that Megan?” I asked.
“Yeah! We invited her since she’s the leading lady of the video.” Another comment was made by Megan, to which Colson said to me, “She says hi!”
I couldn’t respond. I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes and I was afraid Colson would hear my voice breaking if I spoke. Instead, I managed to squeak out a “gotta go” before hanging up.
~~~~~~
As I expected, there were articles published about the video celebration, specifically about Colson and Megan. A handful of pictures were taken outside wherever the celebration was taking place of Colson and Megan laughing as he puffed on a joint. The captions posted under this picture from numerous sites and fan pages were all the same: “look how cute Megan and Colson are!”
I had to go offline for a while because I was getting more upset than I had before.
It seemed like Colson didn’t notice as much as I did, so I never really brought the issue up. I didn’t want him to think he couldn’t be friends with women, or think of me as a jealous girlfriend or anything.
But I knew he could tell something was off. He kept trying to coax it out of me, but I wouldn’t budge. I figured he would grow tired of my refusal and would let it go. The last thing I expected was to come home from work one day and find Colson waiting for me in my apartment.
“Hey!” I said when I found him sat in my living room. “What are you doing here?”
“We have a few days before the next show, so I asked to come home before then,” he said. “I wanted to talk to you.”
The six worst words to ever hear. I felt my worry rise as I approached him and sat next to him on the couch.
“What’s on your mind lately?” he asked. “I know you keep saying it’s nothing, but I can tell it’s not nothing. I’m worried about you, babe. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
I looked down at my lap as I shrugged. “It’s nothing. Just work and school, I guess.”
“Is this about Megan?”
For some reason, hearing him say her name felt like I was being stabbed through the heart. I had to bite my lip to try and hold back my tears.
“When you hung up so suddenly during the video celebration, I realized something was up,” he said. “And then you started deleting your social media accounts, or making them private, and you were acting different. It all started that night. If it’s because we invited Megan to the party, I’m sorry if that upset you. There was no underlying meanings behind inviting her, it was just because she was in the video and we decided she should be at the celebration.”
“It’s not because she was there!” I finally snapped, unable to hold myself back. “I don’t care if you’re friends with Megan, or with any woman, but I do care that everyone thinks you’re dating every female who so much as breathes in your direction. And it really doesn’t help my self-esteem to see people saying how happy you look or how cute you’d look with someone who is, like, a million times prettier than me.”
“Babe, that’s not true,” he said. “I mean, I’ve seen the rumors about me and Megan, but it’s not all the women I’m friends with - ”
I laughed, humorlessly. “No, not all of them. Just Chantal and Noah and Ash and Sommer and now Megan. So no, not all of them, just most of them.”
I could see the gears turning in Colson’s head as he thought about it. Maybe he didn’t see the same stuff I did, maybe I just saw more because of how insecure it made me. But those rumors were there, and they had been nearly our entire relationship.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I never realized...I don’t attention to shit like that. I never thought much about the way I acted around my female friends.”
“You treat them the way you treat the boys,” I said. “I’ve seen how you are with Ash, the two of you are just friends. But people don’t believe that men and women can just be friends so when they see men and women acting as friends, they assume that means they’re dating. There’s nothing you can really do about it.”
Colson put a hand on mine and gave it a squeeze. “You don’t believe any of that shit though, right? You know it’s all media bullshit.”
I nodded. “Yeah, of course I do. I know you’d never cheat on me. I trust you so much.”
“And you can’t possibly believe that they’re any more beautiful than you are.”
I chuckled. “Okay, that one I can’t agree to considering the person you’re currently in a dating rumor with is Megan fucking Fox. I mean, have you seen her? She’s the most beautiful woman in the world!”
“Not to me she’s not.”
I looked away from him again, feeling my cheeks heat up and a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “You don’t mean that.”
“Of course I do.” I felt his finger gently touch my chin, lifting my head so I would look at him. “(Y/N), I hope you know you mean the world to me. You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever known, and you own my heart. You’re the only one for me and I love you more than words could ever say. I’m sorry you’ve had to witness all these stupid rumors, and I’m sorry I never noticed them so I could assure you of all of this sooner. But I mean it, you’re everything to me. I love you so much.”
The tears I had been holding back for so long finally started to fall down my cheeks. I awkwardly laughed as I tried to wipe them away, but they just kept coming. “That was so cliche.”
“You loved it, though.”
“I love you, that’s a whole different thing.”
Colson smiled and pulled me in for a kiss. Warmth filled me as my lips touched his, and it was just another reminder that he was mine. I ran my hand through his hair and leaned into him until we were both laying back on the couch.
When we finally managed to pull away from one another, Colson rested his forehead on mine. “Did you have any other plans today?”
I shook my head.
“Good, because I don’t intend on letting you leave this apartment any time soon.”
He wrapped me into a tight cuddle, and I gladly accepted these plans he had made for us.
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close friends | t. holland
pairing: tom holland x fem!reader word count: 3.1k warnings: some language, some angst if u squint. otherwise it's just fluff and tom being tom. didn't proofread this. a/n: so tumblr decided to be a little bitch and deleted this t w i c e. so i had to write this t h r e e times. this came up in my head after i got like three notifications that tom posted something on his ig story, and then it turned out he deleted them. as always, english isn't my first language so i'm sorry if this gets confusing bye. also, i was listening to cardigan by taylor swift as i wrote this.
my masterlist
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so we all know tom sucks at instagram. that's a surprise to literally no one. no matter how many times you tried to teach him he still doesn't get it, and it was only a matter of time before he finally posted something he shouldn't have.
it was just one of those days, you missed him like hell. he was away filming the third spiderman, and you had to stay behind because of work.
naturally, you relied on face time and texts to survive and fill the void he left behind. you loved talking to him, listening as he rambled on and on about his adventures on set. a love-struck look on your face as you tried your hardest to stay awake despite the urge to close your eyes.
eventually, sleep took over you, and you drifted off with the sound of his voice lulling you to sleep. he stopped talking abruptly when he didn't hear your soft chuckling in reply to the story he was telling.
instead, he saw your sleeping figure, long steady breaths moving your chest up and down. and he cursed himself for making you stay up so late for him. he took one last look at you, taking a screenshot of your sleeping form.
he quickly hung up the video call and opened instagram instead, uploading the screenshot to his story,
'missing my favorite girl, thank you so much for everything you do for me. x @yourusername'
the next morning you woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. at first, thought someone had died as one notification after another filled your screen. most of them came from instagram, so you opened that app first.
thousands upon thousands of mentions, tags and new followers. you frowned, and suddenly a text from your friend popped up at the top of your screen.
'omg just saw his story. so happy for u both'
who's story? what was going on?
you refreshed your timeline, and tom's icon appeared, a colorful circle around it. an odd feeling sank in your stomach. you tapped his icon and suddenly your screen was full of... you.
a picture of you, sleeping. tom's smiling form in a small rectangle on the bottom right corner.
oh god. you read the words he wrote, over and over again. your heart pounding in your chest, and a sudden wave of fear ran through your body. but then you read his words once more, and all you could feel was love. pure, unconditional affection.
sure, your families and closest friends knew about you, but you hadn't talked about making your relationship public yet, but there was nothing you could do now.
you sighed, leaning back on your pillows. a small chuckle left your throat.
you grabbed your phone once again, quickly facetiming tom. you knew he had an early call today, and you hoped you could catch him while he was still in his hotel.
it ran once, twice, and then you saw him, hair all over the place, bare chest. hands rubbing sleep off of his face.
"mornin', darling." he said, his raspy morning voice making you smile.
"hi, baby. did i wake you?" you asked, sitting up and crossing your legs.
"yeah but it's fine, princess. i did keep you up last night so it's only fair."
"i'm sorry about falling asleep on you, that was a really nice picture you took last night," you lifted one eyebrow, and watched as he smiled at you sheepishly.
"i thought you looked really pretty, you always look pretty," he said, grabbing the water bottle on his nightstand and taking a swing.
"thanks, i hope the whole world thinks so, too," you declared. leaning your chin on your fist, watching him expectantly.
he did not react like you had expected him to.
his breath hitched as he sipped his water, and suddenly all you could see was the cream-colored ceiling, as you heard him spitting out and coughing.
"tom! oh, my god! are you okay?" you asked, getting on your knees and holding your phone up to your face, "tommy?" you repeated when he finally stopped coughing, you could now hear his heavy breaths.
at last, you saw his curls appear from the bottom of the screen.
"wh-what did you just say?" his voice was rough, his chest heaving.
"are you okay?" you asked again.
"ye-yeah i'm fine. babe, what did you mean by 'the whole world'? did something happen?" he asked, frowning. you echoed his expression, watching him for a second.
“you posted a picture to your story,” you repeated, and he nodded.
“yeah, i posted it to my close friends, i-” he stopped mid-sentence, eyes growing comically wide. “oh shit, did i-” he caught himself off as he threw the phone to one side, you heard him fumbling around for his laptop and you snorted. “shit, baby, don’t tell me i posted it… fuck!” you couldn’t keep it in any longer, you broke out laughing.
“of course this is how the world finds out about us!” you continued giggling until your stomach hurt.
“fuck, princess i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to, i swear i- why are you laughing!?”
“tommy, tommy! it’s okay, baby, don’t worry. i’m not mad,” you stopped once you noticed his pouting. “it’s fine, my love, i don’t mind. sure it’s unexpected, and a little sudden but i wouldn’t have it any other way. i knew what i was getting into when we started dating,” you told him honestly, wishing you were there to give him a hug and kiss him all over.
“darling, i’m really, really sorry. i swear i thought i tapped the green button like you told me to” he continued his sulking, nervous eyes glancing back and forth from his laptop screen to you.
“i know, baby, i know this is not your forte, and i really appreciate the sweet gesture, honestly. i love you so much,” you told him as you bit your lip. folding your legs to your chest, wrapping one around them.
“god, i love you. i swear i’ll make it up to you,” he ran his hand through his hair, giving you a quick peek of his bare chest.
“i’ll hold you to it,” you chuckled, you glanced to the clock on your nightstand, sighing when you saw the time. “i’ve gotta go,” you said as you stood up and stretched. a wicked idea ran through you head. “i’ve got like five meetings today, so i’ll probably be busy most of the day. just in case i don’t reply or something,” you made up you lie quickly. grabbing your laptop and opening a new tab.
“oh, okay. i’ll be on set until like 1 am, so we’ll talk tomorrow?” he asked, eyes bright. you nodded, biting your lip.
“definitely. i love you,” you blew him a kiss. he smiled, and you felt your heart swelling.
“i love you, too. good luck today!” he said as you reluctantly hung up the call.
you immediately got to work, calling your assistant and telling her you were taking a few personal weeks, and to email you in case of emergencies. next, you texted harry, asking him to call you once tom was busy on set.
you waited for the page to load, and once you had bought your one-way ticket to atlanta you hurriedly threw some pre-planned outfits into two suitcases, just in case. your phone rang and harry’s face popped up on your screen. you quickly answered the call, and let him know of your out-of-the-blue plan. he agreed to meet you at the airport and drive you to set. and because of your recent and sudden rise to fame, he suggested you wear all black and a cap. you followed his advice, throwing on some sunglasses as well, as you had seen tom do many times before.
once you reached the airport and checked-in, you bought some coffee and breakfast, as well as some food for the flight. you opened instagram, seeing all the messages and comments. you had seen how the fans reacted when their favorite celebrities announced a relationship, and you knew to expect the meanest comments, and even death threats. for your own sake and peace of mind, you allowed yourself to scroll until you read three of those, and closed the app.
once the plane took off, you tried to catch some sleep, preparing for the inevitable jet lag, but your mind kept buzzing from one scenario to another. so you took out your book and tried to read some chapters, putting in your earbuds, music playing quietly.
when you finally, finally landed, you stretched your legs and grabbed your bags, putting on the cap and sunglasses again, you spotted a familiar head of wild curls. you quickly approached harry.
“what happened to all black and a cap to go unnoticed?” you asked as he took one of your bags in his hands.
“think about it, two kids wearing black, a cap and sunglasses? people would think we’re up to no good.” he gave you a tight hug, you’d missed him almost as much as you’d missed tom.
he caught you up on everything he and tom had been doing these past months, you shifted in your seat in excitement, the sleep that was slowly taking over you on the plane had now disappeared from your body.
in what was probably a 15 -but to you felt like five- minute drive, you got to the hotel to leave your bags and take a quick shower. harry left you alone in tom’s room, making his way to his own room next door. he said he’d order something for you to eat whilst you got ready to see tom.
you took the quickest shower ever known to humankind, and when you walked out of the bathroom after using tom’s shampoo and conditioner, -you’d missed his smell all over you. the few forgotten hoodies and shirts that were once drenched in the smell of his soap and cologne, were now very faint.- you wrapped a bathrobe around your body, rummaging through tom’s clothes until you found one of his shirts.
you pulled it close to your face, sighing at the familiar scent you’d missed so much. you got dressed quickly, grabbing your now fully-charged phone and the key to tom’s room that harry had left on a coffee table. you knocked on harry’s door and he let you in.
“i just texted tom, he says they’ve got like three hours left.” you sat next to him on the couch, the table in front of you filled with food waiting to be devoured.
“my poor baby, they overwork him,” you pouted, reaching for one of the plates.
“it was his idea, said he’ll do anything that helps finish filming sooner.” you stopped chewing your food.
“wait, really?” you asked in disbelief, you knew tom loved his job, and you found it odd that he wanted to cut his time on set short.
“yeah, it’s been rough for him. not having you around, i mean, after he spent months with you. he’s been pretty distracted lately. messing up lines, he’s been waking up late and missing early calls...” your heart sank at the words. you ate the rest of your food with a knot in your stomach, cursing yourself for not getting there sooner. soon enough, you were back in the car, your leg bouncing up and down. you fell asleep on your way to set, waking up when harry parked the car and nudged your shoulder.
you stepped out carefully, your head turning back every few steps you took, in fear that tom might catch you. once you reached the stage where tom was filming, you flashed the visitor badge harry had given you to the guard and he let you both in. you walked in as you leaned down, your forehead against harry’s back, shielding you from the curious stares. harry told you to hide behind a giant box where they kept some lights whilst he spoke to the director.
although the box was big and tall enough to cover you completely, you crouched down, straining your ears for nearing footsteps. you heard two sets of feet approaching, your heartbeat racing.
you were met with your accomplice, a friendly-looking man behind him. you stood up as they approached you.
“this the girl?” the man asked, and harry nodded, “nice to meetcha, i’m jon.” you shook his hand, “okay, so we’ve cleared tom’s schedule for one week, we’ll need him back fully recharged and ready to work like it’s his first day on set, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like, if it means he’ll work better if you’re here you can stay until we're done. i really don’t mind, i just need my guy back.” you blinked at his words, nodding slowly. “we’ve got a couple hours left tonight, i’m all up for some cheesy reunion, but it’ll have to be when we’re finished, i can barely keep him focused as it is.”
with that he left, and harry led you to tom’s trailer, where you caught some sleep while you waited. like that morning, you woke up to your phone buzzing. you reached for it, sleep leaving your body as you read the text.
‘just finished filming for the night, i’m exhausted. miss u, love you. x.’
all rational thoughts left your head, you opened the door to tom’s trailer and sprinted out of there until you reached the set. your eyes finally, finally met his figure, and tears filled your eyes.
your legs moved on their own accord, you mumbled apologies as you crashed into people, but you didn’t care. tom had his back to you, and even though he wasn’t wearing the spiderman costume, you’d recognize that ass anywhere.
“tom!” you called out, stopping a few feet away from him. you saw him whipping his head around, eyes scanning the sea of people. you made your way up to him, “tommy!” you repeated, and he finally turned around.
his mouth wide opened in disbelief, arms twitching, feet running towards you as you did the same. you crashed into each other, your legs wrapping around him, arms around his neck, fingers curling on his soft hair. his hands running all over your back, your hair. pulling you as close as humanly possible.
whispers of ‘i love you’, ‘god, i missed you’, ‘never leave me again’, and ‘i promise’ were exchanged. you tightened your hold on his hair, pulling back to look at him.
“hi,” you whispered, your nose brushing his.
“hey,” he replied, burying his face on your neck again, pressing small kisses anywhere he could reach. his hands settled on the back of your thighs as he spun you two. you giggled, sniffling as a few tears escaped your eyes.
you could not care less about the people around you, all you could think about was the boy wrapped all over you, your favorite boy. tom led you back to his trailer, where you finally untangled yourself from him. he settled you down and you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him close to you again.
you had been starved of his touch for so long, there was no way you were letting him go anytime soon.
after many kisses, touches, tears, promises and more kisses, you left for the hotel. harry had already left, getting a ride from another cast member to leave you two alone. at that moment you swore you’d make him godfather of your firstborn child.
as you waited for tom to step out of the shower -you would’ve joined him, but three showers in a day seemed kind of excessive-, you laid down on the bed, throwing the covers over your body, tom's scent engulfing you. you breathed in happily. you tapped on your phone, replying to some work emails when you received a text from harry.
‘i believe the ball is in your court. you’re welcome.’
next, you received a picture of you and tom. harry must’ve taken the picture when you and tom were too lost in each other to even notice anyone around you. in the picture, your legs are around tom, bodies pressed closed together, your noses touching as you stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. it was a beautiful picture. and the black and white filter harry had applied to it made it seem like one of those old pictures of wives reuniting with their spouses after the war.
you smiled, heart swelling with emotion as you contemplated your options. you hummed quietly, tapping the instagram logo and waiting for the app to load.
you quickly uploaded the picture harry sent you tagging both him and tom and adding a quick caption before you shut down your phone. you were drifting off to sleep when you felt familiar arms around you.
you leaned into tom’s touch, your back resting against his chest, legs tangling with his as he interlocked his fingers with your own.
“thank you so much for being here, my love. i love you,” tom whispered into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“i’ll be here whenever you need me. i’ll always come back to you.” you turned around, facing him. you kissed the corner of his lips, and he cupped your cheek, his lips meeting yours in a slow kiss, filled with emotion. your fingers played with his fingers as you moved to straddle his waist. “i love you,” you broke the kiss reluctantly. as much as you both wanted to make love that night, you’d made it your top priority that tom took his time off to rest as much as he could, and that included that first night.
you gave him one last kiss, going back to your previous position. the familiar and comfortable weight of his arms around you, the feeling of his lips on your neck, his chest rising and falling against your back, you couldn’t ask for anything better.
the peaceful environment you had created suddenly burst like a bubble as tom’s phone pinged over and over again. you heard him grunting, arms reluctantly leaving you.
tom chuckled, putting his phone on do-not-disturb and throwing it somewhere on the bed.
“you’re perfect for me, my favorite girl.” you smiled, leaning into his touch as he kissed you all over. sleep quickly taking over both of you.
tom swore his heart stopped when he’d seen the picture you posted. you’d never looked more beautiful than when you were staring up at him, your bottom lip between your teeth. the words you wrote as a caption were the last thing on his brain as he finally succumbed to sleep.
‘i said, “i bet you can’t keep this a secret for five months.” he said, “darling, i won’t make it past three.” @ tomholland2013 it’s been 10 months, who won?’
edit: i just saw henry cavill's ig post and omg what is my life. pls respect celebrities' privacy and relationships.
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CTRL+ALT+DECEIT
Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; oral, fucking, stalking, hacking, threats, implied violence.
This is dark!Jake Jensen x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Synopsis: You find your pictures on someone else’s Insta but that’s not the only thing he’s stolen.
Note: Yay, another Jensen fic at last. I’m probably gonna try to work in more one shots between my series. I’m looking at Andy Barber, Ransom Drysdale, or Lee Bodecker right now for next week but we’ll see.
Thanks to everyone for sticking around and putting up with me and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)
I really hope you enjoy. 💋
<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!
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The chirp of the chat pierced your eardrum once more as you ignored it for the spreadsheet of dates on your other monitor. Working from home could be both peaceful and distracting but the third bing had you muting and pushing your headset to your neck with a grumble. You switched windows as the chat box blinked.
‘So why didn’t u tell me u had a bf?’ Zia’s bubble blipped up followed by impatient emojis.
“Wat r u talking bout?’ you typed back and clicked back to the spreadsheet to update the status of each course. That noise came again and you flipped back.
‘I’m not stupid! Come on. He’s far away but he’s cute.’
You frowned and tapped the space bar lightly. You were utterly confused. The only activity in your daily life were the general notifications from Tindr. You repeated the question and she sent an emoji rolling its eyes.
‘I’m serious.’ you replied.
She sent a link and then a laughing GIF attached to another bubbled response, ‘I’m not buyin it.’
You clicked on the hyperlink and a new tab opened. You scrolled down on the Insta as the air was knocked out of you at the sight of your own face. Not only were their pics taken from your public profile but several you’d never even posted. Your skin crawled and the bing sounded again.
‘So… an online thing huh.’ Zia pressed on.
‘I gotta work.’ you closed out of the window entirely but stayed on the Insta.
You scrolled through about a dozen or so selfies of you, each labeled as ‘missing my lady’ or ‘she’s so sweet, sending me pics to keep me company’. Your stomached roiled with mortification and the unsettling sensation of intrusion. It was easy enough to guess you’d been hacked but to think this was what the creep did with it was even more startling.
You changed the password on your Insta and went through the process of doing so with all of your accounts and ran a scan on your PC. You would likely have to file a ticket for a proper inspection with a specialist. You couldn’t help but shake as you went back to the profile after checking your bank account and PayPal to make sure it wasn’t worse than just pics.
You went back to the profile and found photos of the culprit. His spiky blond hair and glasses were unsurprising and his comic book tee shirt was even less. Your disgust was quickly replaced with anger as you hit the chat icon above his info.
‘Hey, jackass, care to tell me how you have my photos on your profile?!’
The read icon appeared almost and you saw him typing. It stopped and then started again.
‘You’re so beautiful, I wanted to share it with everyone.’
You scoffed at the message and cringed at the screen. ‘Are you nuts? Like actually. You stole my photos! You hacked me. Creep.’
You blocked him immediately after hitting send and logged out. You opened Excel again and tried to focus on the coloured cells. You could hardly process what you were doing as your phone began to vibe on the corner of your desk. It didn’t let up and you couldn’t focus past the incessant buzzing.
You snatched it up and several messages covered the screen as you unlocked it. ‘You really think that’s gonna work’; ‘You can’t block me’... several in a similar vein that you deleted before blocking the number. You silenced your phone and turned back to your monitor.
Suddenly the screen went black and you blinked. You hit the keyboard and clicked, assuming it fell asleep. It lit up again but all you saw was yourself staring back. Your mouth fell open and you ripped the clip-on cam from atop your monitor. You disconnected it as the notepad opened and typing flicked up across the white space.
‘I didn’t want it to be like this.’
You could move the mouse or backspace. All control was lost and you sat there helplessly watching the scrawl.
‘I think we’d be really good together if you only gave me a chance. Can’t you see I worship you?’
Your phone began to shake constantly and a private number flashed. You picked it up and hollered into the speaker, “leave me alone”. You hung up but it kept on and your screen turned to black once more. Your PC was still on but there was no reaction from the machine.
Fuck, you sat back and looked at your phone. You couldn’t even call work to tell them because the damn thing wouldn’t stop ringing. You put your head in your hands and grunted in frustration. How the fuck did all this happen?
🖱️
After your initial panic died down, you disconnected your tower and shut off your phone. You left your cell behind as it was just as useless. You hauled the PC down to IT at your work and filled out the ticket without giving intricate details on everything the weirdo had taken.
You left with a borrowed laptop. You wouldn’t sign into your personal accounts and stick to the company portal. You were embarrassed but happy to have a temporary solution. You got home and set up the new computer and reconfigured your wi-fi. You finished the last of the day’s work and ended the day with a glass of wine.
When you dared to turn your phone on again the next morning, it was filled with notifications from all platforms but each one you clicked on errored and prompted you to sign-in. All your new passwords were wrong and you knew it was him. 
You checked the Insta and found a screenshot on his profile from the day before, your mouth agape in horror that could easily mistaken for surprise.
‘Her face when you pop the question on the call’. The caption made your stomach curdle and you nearly flung the phone away. You couldn’t comment without logging in or message. So you created a shell account with a throwaway email you used on Reddit.
‘Why won’t you stop?’ you sent the message through as you waited for your coffee to brew.
‘Stop what?’ he added a winky face with his reply and you growled.
‘You know who this is! Why are you doing this?’
‘Hmmm…’ he let the message hang there and you sat down with your mug and listened to the birds outside. ‘Imagine what someone else would do with everything I have.’
‘Look at what you’re doing. You’re ruining my life.’
‘Ruining? Sweetie, I’m watching over you. Protecting you.’
Your nostrils flared and you burnt your tongue on the coffee and planted it on the table so it sloshed over the sides.
‘Love you, sweetie. See ya soon.’
The chat box turned grey as you realised he blocked you. That pissed you off more than anything and you lobbed your phone away with a shout of anguish. This guy was fucked!  
You were shaking so much you couldn’t even drink your coffee. You got up and paced until you could think straight. You dialed into work and told them you were taking the day off for a personal emergency and shut down your phone. You were too afraid he would find a way onto your work laptop and you didn’t want to have to explain that to IT too.
🖱️
Zia showed up on Saturday and she wasn’t happy. She buzzed up and banged on your door impatiently. You let her in and she crossed her arms over the strap of her purse as she crooked her hip.
“I know I shouldn’t have snooped but if you’re mad at me, you should’ve just said so. I would’ve backed off,” she scowled.
“I’m not mad,” you said as you backed into the front room and dragged your feet over the rug.
“Sure, you’re just ignoring all my messages by accident,” she stayed at the other side of the room.
“Not exactly, no,” you shrugged, “it’s a long story.”
“And you couldn’t shoot me a message to say that at least?”
“Look, I’m stressed the fuck out. I’m sorry but the only reason I didn’t answer you is because I can’t.” 
“You can’t?”
“I can’t even turn my phone on anymore.”
“What--”
“Just--” you touched your temples, “I don’t even know how to explain--”
“Jesus, are you okay?” her anger slaked away as her voice softened.
“No, I’m not,” you sniffed, “I’ve been trapped in this apartment and I can’t think straight and I can’t even talk to anyone because my phone and my life is totally fucked.”
“How about we get a coffee and you can tell me once you’ve calmed down,” she said, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so worked up.”
“You don’t know how bad it is. I really fucked up,” you whined, “I don’t even know how it happened.”
“Is this about the boyfriend?”
You huffed and shook your head, “I told you, he’s not my boyfriend-- Let me get dressed.”
After you felt presentable enough to leave the apartment, the thought of getting away ushered you down the winding stairwell and onto the sidewalk. You and Zia walked down to the cafe on the corner where you always overspent on their specialty drink and caught up.
You ordered but when you tried to use your card, the machine beeped in rejection. You tried again but still no luck. Zia offered to pay and you promised you’d pay her back. Anxiety pitted deep in your stomach as you sat. You’d have to call the bank and figure out why eight dollars would bounce.
“So,” Zia said as she shaded her eyes against the sunlight streaming onto the open patio, “he’s not your boyfriend?”
“I don’t even know the dude,” you hissed as you almost overturned your cup, “Zee, those pictures, they were all on my phone. I never sent them to anyone. I don’t even know his real name and when I confronted him, he crashed my whole system and blew up my phone. I haven’t been able to log into anything because of him.”
“You’re shitting me,” she chuckled.
“Zee, I’m not fucking kidding,” you blinked, “don’t you think if I was dating some dude out in who knows where, you’d be the first to know? You think I’m wasting my time with the idiots on Tindr for fun?”
“No way,” she scoffed.
“Zia, look me in the eye,” you said as you gave her a stern look, “I’m freaking the fuck out.”
“Did you call the police?” she asked.
You sat back and closed your eyes. You were so swept up in the panic, you hadn’t even thought. You could report it to the police, just get a record of it even if they didn’t do anything else. You heard horror stories of hackers and how little could be done but you had to at least try.
“I guess I should go down to the station today,” you ran your fingertips along your chin, “I don’t know, I felt so alone, I thought--”
“And call your bank right now,” she slid her phone over, “figure out what’s going on with your accounts.”
You took her cell and dialed the number on the back of the card. You dragged your finger down the side of your cup as you listened to the automated message and hit the buttons to direct you to customer service. The hold song bubbled in your head and finally picked up as you finished the last of your mocha.
You explained the issue after giving your information as Zia sat patiently across from you. She watched the other patrons and looked out across the street as you waited on the representative on the other end.
“Looks like your account has been locked. Your savings and checking have been placed on hold citing possible fraud,” the woman explained.
“Well, can’t you unlock them? Why would they be flagged?”
“Hmm, well I see no suspicious spending so possibly… it could be due to an external lock, not us.”
“What does that mean?”
“I can’t speak to that. Have you received any communications from the Revenue service?”
“Revenue service? I don’t--no,” you gulped.
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing else I can tell you,” she said, “you should consider contacting federal services.”
You hung up and handed Zia her phone back. “Apparently, I’m under investigation for fraud? I don’t know.”
“Shit,” she took her cell, “are you sure?”
“It sounded like it but-- I gotta check my credit card,” you stood and grabbed your empty cup and your purse.
You stormed down the street to the ATM at the corner and inserted your card. LOCKED the machine made a hideous noise and you pulled out your card in irritation. You put your wallet and touched the sides of your neck as the heat swelled through you.
“I don’t understand--”
“Um, you should see this,” Zia said.
Zia turned her screen towards you and your heart dropped to your toes. There was a picture softened by a blush Insta filter and the caption read, ‘just got into town, surprising bae with flowers’. Over the cluster of petals at the bottom of the image were you and Zia sitting at the cafe patio.
You spun and searched around for any sign of the man and the bouquet. You could hardly breath as it felt like you were being squished between invisible walls. You clapped your hand against the wall and steadied yourself as Zia gently rubbed your arm.
“Let’s go to the station,” you croaked as tears welled in your eyes, “please.”
🖱️
The police told you everything you expected. Even as you showed them the photos and explained how you never met that man in your life, they only offered you words on a piece of paper. They’d file the report and follow-up in case of any further escalation. It was a non-answer, a cold shrug.
Zia went home with you as she offered to stay the night. You gladly accepted and the two of you cozied up on your bed and spent the night watching early 00s rom coms. You found it hard to relax even with her there. You couldn’t stop thinking about how close he’d been without you even knowing.
You at last began to doze off as Reese Witherspoon triumphed and exhausted by the endless maelstrom of dread, you slipped into a deep but perilous sleep. You were locked in limbo between waking and slumber, almost as if you could hear everything around you but remained blind and unknowing all the same.
You woke with a start as you felt like you were falling. You sat up and reached to the other side of the bed. Zia was gone. She must have got up to get water or use the bathroom. You took a breath and turned your legs over the edge. You got up groggily and lumbered across the room, your mouth dry and head aching. Some tylenol and water would do you well.
You hesitated as you noticed the bloom of light just around the corner from your doorway. Zia must be having trouble sleeping, you guessed as you kept on. As you came in sight of the front room, you heard a whimper and you backed up against the wall as tall figure stood before the coffee table. The flowers laid across the wood, slightly crumpled from a struggle.
As Zia whined, he jabbed her with his foot and she grunted around the rag tied around her mouth. Her arms and legs were bound behind her as the man loomed over her. You recognized his blond hair and glasses, the menacing blue eyes as he raised his chin and crossed his arms.
“Been waiting on you,” he stepped over her, “I was disappointed when I realised it was her. Good friend though, hanging around…”
“Don’t hurt her, please. What do you want?”
“You can’t figure that out?” he taunted, “huh, I’m sure you can guess what it will take for me to leave her in one piece.”
Zia wiggled and received another boot. You pushed yourself forward and he stepped closer, predatory as he dropped his arms and clenched then unclenched his fists. He chuckled as you stopped short and gaped up at him.
“She’s cute,” he said, “she can join us if that makes it easier for you.”
“You’re disgusting,” you snarled and winced as he reached out to touch your cheek. You fought not to shove him away, your eyes on Zia’s bound figure.
“Play nice and I will,” he warned, “every time I hurt her, that’s on you. I wish I didn’t have to do this to show you how much I love you.”
You shook your head as your lip trembled. He pressed his palms to your cheek and ran his thumb along your lips. He leaned in and you cowered as you realised how big he was. You didn’t expect that looking at him from the other side of a screen.
“Do we put on a show for her or did you want a little privacy?”
“You won’t get away with this,” you hissed.
“Oh yeah? I locked you out of your social media, your pc, your bank… do you really want to see how far I can take this?”
He smothered your murmured answer with his mouth and kissed you gruffly. He pulled away and looked you in the eye. He bit his lip and hummed.
“So, do we do this here?”
“You’re sick,” you grabbed his hand and wrenched it away from your face. You yanked him and directed him to the bedroom, “you monster.”
“Now come on,” he twisted his wrist around and grabbed your elbow, “I could’ve killed her. Don’t think I won’t.”
You quivered as he forced you back into your bedroom, the street lights casting shadows between your curtains. He flung you ahead of him, as strong as his thick arms would suggest. You stumbled and caught yourself on the side of the bed. You turned as the door slammed and he prowled towards you like a wild cat.
“Well,” he threw his hands up and you caught a glint of light against the lens of his glasses, “you want me to undress you or you think you can handle that, sweetie?”
You puffed in repulsion and looked away from him. Even in the dark, you could feel his eyes on you. You jittered as you reached to the neck of your loose tee and slowly raised it over your head. You dropped it to crumple on the floor and you touched the top of your shorts. You heard him moving around and shied away as he flipped the switch and light shone across the room.
You pushed down your shorts as you heard a thump from the next room. His jaw twitched as his eyes lingered on you and he reluctantly glanced away. He swung the door open and stormed out into the front room. You went to the door and heard his snarl.
“Stop fucking moving,” he rasped, “every time I have to tell you, I’ll pop another out.”
Zia gave a muffled sob as you heard a sickly crack and you hurried to look around the wall into the room. He blocked your sight with his broad chest and pointed you back to the room.
“I didn’t say you could leave the room,” he spun you and slapped your bare ass, “fast, fast, fast… before I lose my patience.”
Your skin stung from the strike and you tripped through the doorway as he followed quickly. Another slam and he poked you further into the room with his knuckle. You stepped away from him and tried to cover yourself as you faced him in horror.
He quickly swooped his shirt over his head and revealed a buff chest thick with blond hair. He kicked off his shoes and fumbled to undo his fly. He tilted his head as he looked you over and groped himself through his jeans.
“You know what to do,” he said, “I’ve seen the way you touch yourself… cyber security 101, cover your webcam.”
You shuddered as he beckoned you closer. He stopped you and put your hands on the waist of his jeans. He leaned in and nuzzled your temple as his hot breath seeped into your goosebumped skin.
“My turn,” he pushed on your hands until you pulled down the denim on your own strength.
He stepped out of his jeans and snapped the elastic of his boxers. You stood and latched onto those shakily. He ran his fingers along your arms as you pulled them past his erection and they fell to the floor with a whisper. You didn’t look down, instead staring past him as his hand swept up to cup your tits.
His fingers crawled up your chest and his hands wrapped around your neck. He squeezed and turned you so that your back was to the bed. He marched you backwards as you felt his dick bobbing between your bodies. You gasped as he pushed you down onto your mattress, your legs dangling over the edge as he came up to straddle you.
“Such a good girl,” he taunted, “look at you… I bet you’re wet already.”
He pulled a hand away and stroked his length as he raised himself on his knees. He clung to your neck as he leaned over you and planted his hand on the bed above you. He hovered his dick over your head and you closed your eyes.
“Put it in your mouth,” he ordered, “now, or I’m putting it in your ass.”
You reached up blindly and angled his tip against your lips. He dipped his hips down and you choked as he prodded at your throat. Your legs twitched as he forced his cock past your gag reflex and your whole body tensed at the intrusion.
He balanced on the hand above your head and the one on your neck. He thrust harder and harder as sloppy sucking reverberated around the room between his dark groans.
“That’s it,” he purred, “look at you taking my cock. I can only imagine how tight that cunt of yours is.”
Your eyes welled and you flicked your lashes as you tried to bat them away. You kept your hand at the base of his dick as you tried to ease his motion. He ignored your reluctance and only delved deeper as he brought himself to his limit, your lips touching the fuzz along his pelvis.
When you couldn’t breath, you slapped his hard stomach and he reared out of you abruptly. You coughed up spit as he sat back on his heels and released you. He huffed as he looked down at his glistening dick and climbed off of you.
“Stand up, turn around,” he snarled as his eyes flashed. 
His glasses were low on his nose and he slipped them off entirely and folded them up on your night table. He squinted as he watched you stand and turn stiffly. He smacked his hand in the middle of your back and pushed you over impatiently. He stepped closer and tapped his tip against your cunt as you were exposed to him.
He bent his legs and poked along your slick folds. You were wet enough for him to glide in and fill you up completely. He was so big it was painful and you arched your back as you tried to take it. He pulled back and slammed into you harshly. You let out a garble and he repeated the motion, taking you off your feet.
He leaned over you and grabbed your knees, lifting them on the bed as he urged you forward. His hand brushed up over your ass and he pressed between your shoulder blades until your face was flush to the mattress, your arms bent around you like a broken doll.
He thrust again and the loud slap made you wince. He jerked his hips roughly until he found his motion, rutting into you with hissy breaths as his other hand groped your ass. He hummed as your body shook before him, ruled by his touch as your walls clenched him.
He pushed his thumb down between your cheeks and circled your asshole. You strained and lifted your head in alarm. His other hand quickly stretched over your crown and pinned your face to the bed. He felt along your cunt and slickened his thumb before trailing back to your puckered ring.
He pushed lightly at first and as he broke through you gasped and whined. You gripped the blankets as he moved his thumb in and out of you, his hips still rocking steadily into you. He slid his thumb out entirely and prodded with two fingers instead. Before you could react, he forced them inside and you cried out in surprise and pain.
“I know you want it, sweetheart,” he groaned, “I can feel…” he kept fucking you, “I can fucking hear it.”
Your holes tightened around you as he carried the pace. A new pressure began to bloom inside of you, unlike anything you’d felt before. The burning in your ass and the stretching of your cunt mingled to an agonized bliss. You sobbed into the blankets as you came uncontrollably around him, shamed by the unwanted release.
“Fuck,” he drew out the word as both his hand and his hips sped up, “look at you cumming for me. Cumming for this creep.”
You moaned and curled your fingers around the duvet tighter. You felt the same knotting deep inside and you came again as he reached a tantamount. This time, you gushed around his cock and felt the deluge down your thighs as the noise grew wetter and louder.
“Look at you, sweetheart, you can’t handle it, can you?” He snorted as he sucked in a breath suddenly and his hips staggered.
He pushed his fingers deeper and kept them there as he fucked you as hard as he could. He slammed into your cunt over and over. Your hips throbbed with each tilt of his pelvis and you smothered your cries as you felt him coat your walls in his release. 
He stopped just as suddenly and dragged his fingers out of your ass. He leaned against you until your legs collapsed and fell onto you with a sigh. He covered your body with his as his shallow breaths hazed around you. 
Your own heart raced as you stretched your arms out stiffly and quivered. You tried to pull yourself from beneath him. He kept you pinned under his weight and jolted you with a cruel thrust.
“Oh, we’re not done, sweetheart,” he muttered along the shell of your ear, “not even close.”
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makeste · 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 315: I Didn’t Expect This to Blow Up
Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “guess which plot that you thought was dead is actually not dead and is making a comeback!” and we were all “EVIL HPSC??” and he was all “girl you know it,” and that’s the story of how we got a sexy Lady Nagant flashback with lots of guns and murder. Flashback!Lady was all “gotta murder peeps to preserve the people’s trust,” but then a little while later she was like “actually wait that makes no sense,” and so she shot her evil boss and they sent her to jail. Back in the present, Deku was all “okay fair, the hero system might in fact be a little fucked up, but hear me out... have you considered not helping AFO take over the world so he can murder like a bazillion more innocent people??” The chapter ended with the not-all-there Overhaul finally revealing himself to Deku, and I honestly have no idea where this is gonna go.
Today on BnHA: In what is unfortunately the single worst plan ever concocted by anyone in BnHA, Nagant is all “I’m going to try and get this Deku kid to panic and freeze up by putting someone in mortal danger.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t panic and freeze up at the sight of someone in mortal danger].” Nagant is all “omg no way.” Deku, who is now all of a sudden being so OP that even I have to acknowledge that it’s OP lol, is all “[smashes Nagant’s gun arm to bits]”, which sucks but is also really cool, and which also apparently makes Nagant decide that she actually likes this kid after all. Deku is all “NAGANT I REALLY LIKE YOU AND THINK YOU’RE GREAT SO PLEASE JOIN UP WITH ME AND STOP BEING EVIL.” Nagant is all “aw shucks (✿ •͈ᴗ•͈) well okay then” and everyone is all “( ・◡・) ✰ ( ˆᴗˆ ) ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)” and then Nagant FUCKING EXPLODES LIKE AN EGG IN THE MICROWAVE AND FALLS TO HER DEATH!!!! except not really because Hawks saves her??? In conclusion, (a) THE FUCK, and (b) AFO TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK.
so I have to tell you guys something, which is that barely ten minutes after I made that “please don’t send me spoilers” post the other day, someone replied to the comments in a stunning fit of “tell me that you’re twelve without actually telling me you’re twelve” energy and posted what seemed to be the copy-pasted spoiler summary from reddit or twitter or whatever lol. so here is my good news/bad news rundown of all that
good news: I have very well-conditioned ABORT!! reflexes and have trained myself to immediately look away from the screen (usually in dramatic fashion) as soon as I realize that whatever I’m reading is a spoiler
bad news: unfortunately as I was subsequently deleting said comments, I accidentally read the very last one
good news??: said spoiler was so unbelievably, absurdly over-the-top that I’m almost positive this person was just trolling. like, there’s just no way lmao
bad news: but in the unlikely event that it is true I will absolutely lose my shit I swear to god
(ETA: “NAGANT DIES.” that was the spoiler I read lol. like, literally all I read from the person’s comments was “My Hero Academia Chapter 315 Title: “Beautiful Words.” Chapter starts with...” and then I noped out of there, and then of all the comments to read as I was deleting, it had to be that one lol. I seriously was just like “SURE, JAN.” all “just how gullible do you think I am” sob. but I was wrong. a troll, but an honest troll they remain.
but anyways like I’m pretty sure Nagant isn’t even actually dead lol, so in the end this whole little adventure doesn’t even have a point to it, but for me it was a journey!)
anyway, so there are apparently two versions of the chapter today?? no idea what the difference is, but I’m going to go with the Bean version, because it’s the one at the top and I don’t feel like making decisions today
huh, so Overhaul is actually more coherent than Horikoshi was letting on
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look at him having a whole back and forth conversation with her. side note, how is he still this jacked when he’s been sitting in a cell doing absolutely nothing for the past six months
anyway so he says he’ll go with her on one condition. I wonder what that condition could possibly be. do you think it could be the thing he literally hasn’t shut up about ever since he reappeared lol
yep! and damn -- maybe this guy will surprise me after all
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still would be nice if you also felt a bit sorry for the little girl you tortured and traumatized, but this is something at least. maybe Deku will yell at him for that other stuff lol
(ETA: also can’t help but wonder if he wants to make amends because he put him in a coma, or because his plan was a failure and ended up destroying the family. just hoping you’ve finally had that “hurting other people is bad” epiphany dude.)
anyways so now Nagant’s arm is transforming again, and this particular transformation happens to be the only truly unsexy thing that Nagant has done thus far so I’m just gonna skip right on ahead lol
aaaaand we’re back to the delirious ranting
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buddy. just. read the fucking room, guy
wow she really is aiming at Overhaul, then. those theories were spot-on
damn she’s really out here all “it really fucks with kids’ heads when you kill people right in front of them and make them blame themselves” like yo
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I’m picturing her saying all this in a very loud stage-whispery tone while making very significant eye contact with Deku lol
uh oh but wait
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um. okay. who’s gonna tell her. Nagant I might have some bad news for you about the kid you’re trying to capture here. specifically about the way he tends to do the opposite of what you’re thinking that he’s about to do
holy shit
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so it’s basically just “tap x repeatedly to charge up your attack” lol
and okay, so that’s cool and all, but is anyone else wincing at the thought of what that must be like on his knees. oh to be young
anyway, but so to the surprise of basically no one, Deku did not, in fact, freeze. I am very sorry, Nagant. he’s just like this
LMAO
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someone wanna tell me how getting yoloed in the fucking ribs by this fucking slingshot kid moving at literal sniper bullet speed is in any way even remotely better than getting hit by the bullet itself lol
(ETA: this is 10x funnier now that we know the bullet wasn’t even gonna hit him lmao.)
anyway so now Nagant is having an extended “!?!?!?” reaction about how Deku just moved with no hesitation, and I’m starting to get an inkling of fear that the rest of this fight isn’t going to go very well for her and maybe that’s what all the “hoo boy” is about
oh my god Deku are you about to Gomu Gomu no Rocket yourself at her you insane little man
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now Three is popping up again and he’s all “I see you’ve learned your lesson and are now only using three quirks at once instead of five” like with all this effusive praise about how great and badass Deku is and sob, okay, yeah. this chapter is basically one of those machines that shoots tennis balls at people, except instead of tennis balls it shoots hot piping discourse
OH MY GOD
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YOOOOOOOOOO but also, NOOOOOOOOOOO
lol oh my god it’s literally two opposing reactions at once wtf. do I love this or hate this. like just for once can Horikoshi actually let a badass lady character win their fucking fight without getting their arm ripped off, BUT ALSO fucking look at that absurdly cool “SMASH” onomatopoeia though. it looks like it’s about to float right off the page holy shit that’s some seriously good art
anyway so is this really the end?? do I need to break out my ಠ_ಠ faces
lmao okay yeah I can definitely see how this would piss a lot of people off
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he basically one-shotted her and she’s all “damn this kid is so amazing that I’m about to do a complete 180 turn on all of my previous angst” lmao. Horikoshi is really shounening it up today
on the plus side though, maybe this means there’s still a chance for her to join up with him after all? unless that spoiler was true lmao, then all hell is gonna break loose
YESSSSSSS
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OH MY GOD AND HE SAYS THE BULLET WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MORE THAN GRAZE OVERHAUL ANYWAY, wow, I’m actually more relieved by that than I would have expected. I mean I would have forgiven her either way, but it means that there was still more hero in her than she was letting on
YES!!! FUCKING YES, THANK YOU
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lol but I mean, it’s also like, “oh so today they get to have brain cells”, thank you so much lol. sometimes it’s really hard to tell which times we’re supposed to question these character decisions that seem dumb, and which times we’re just supposed to full on embrace them and switch off our critical thinking
but okay, so in this case it really was Nagant going easy on him on purpose, and not just her fucking up for no good reason even though she used to do this for a living and was the best in the game. and I know in this case it’s probably just Horikoshi giving us some consolation headpats to soften the blow of her losing so abruptly, but you know what, shit. I’ll take it
also you guys the light is coming back into Deku’s eyes again for just a moment here and I’m having feels about it?? the way it still comes back when he’s reaching out to save someone, and following his own hero path instead of the much darker and lonelier Christopher Nolan path that’s been laid out for him instead that he never wanted?? it’s both reassuring and also very sad
YESSSSSSSSSSS
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DO IT LADY OMG PLEASE?? PLEASE COME BE HIS NEW IRRESPONSIBLE ADULT SUPERVISION YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO
AHHHHHHH SHE’S GONNA DO IT AHHHH
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p.s. I am now absolutely scared shitless that that spoiler was actually true sob. swear to god, I will throw this manga into a fucking volcano. but we’re almost at the end of the chapter and this seems just WAY TOO GOOD to be true fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f
UCK
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NOPE NAH SEND IT BACK, NOPE, NUH UH, DIDN’T ORDER THIS. “GULLIBLE” OKAY FUCK YOU?? “COUNTERMEASURES” NOPE, DON’T NEED ‘EM, WE’RE ALL FINE HERE. WE’RE ACTUALLY GOOD SO YOU CAN JUST GO, OKAY. PLEASE
fuck, lol, I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna scroll down what have I ever done to deserve this oh my god
WHAT THE HONEY-ROASTED FUCK
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WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING VOLCANO IN ICELAND THAT I KEEP SEEING ALL THESE PICTURES OF. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. LET’S GO
ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW
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can someone please give AFO a really good, sharpish kick in the balls. just really let him have it. I’m so tired, what the fuck
-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME LOL WHAT
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bro. I was literally going through my Excel folders to find the spreadsheet about female characters in BnHA that I made back when Midnight died. was gearing myself up for a wholeass rant. and honestly I might just let all of that continue simmering on low to keep it warm just in case lol, because to tell you the truth I have absolutely no idea what’s happening right now
my girl straight up does not have a face. she used to have a face. people usually need those, idk. like, even if she’s alive, her gorgeous eyebrows are definitely not making it out of this and I’m gonna throw a funeral just for them
how the fuck did AFO just blow her up?? how did he know what was going on?? and if he had a quirk that could explode people at will, why is this the first we’re hearing of it?? you’d think that might have come in handy at Kamino or Jakku, like what
(ETA: present!me, who’s had more than three hours of sleep and can now actually remember facts about the series, would like to remind past!me that AFO gave Nagant a quirk, and so this is probably just more Vestige shenanigans now on his part. that’s also probably why Air Walk suddenly stopped working out of nowhere. still doesn’t explain why he doesn’t go around blowing people up more often though but maybe he thinks it’s gauche.)
Hawks just straight up out of nowhere. just Mirioed his way straight into the chapter just in time to be too late sob. here I was looking forward to seeing your face when Deku showed up with his new best friend. can’t believe Horikoshi deprived us of that moment
on the plus side, WELCOME BACK, HAWKS’S FEATHERS. I have no doubt that in this chapter of Deku being an almighty threequirk-mastering god, and Nagant losing anticlimactically only to be immediately blown up because girl characters in BnHA can only be cool for one fight and one fight only, there are still some people who are focusing solely on the “how dare Hawks get his wings back when he is a MURDERER this is an outrage what about CONSEQUENCES” discourse, and to hell with all the other discourses lmao
anyway, so yeah. wow. and now it’s just occurring to me that maybe the real reason why Overhaul is there is so he can get a head start on that amend-making by actually doing a good thing for once in his life, and using his quirk to heal Nagant. assuming he can still do that
and so now Horikoshi has got me out here actually rooting for Overhaul. you know what, on that note I think I’m just gonna go ahead and call it a day sob
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Text
Bo Sinclair x Female Reader
THIS is a NONCON fic. Please don't read and then get shocked at what you read. You are reading this at your own risk! You cannot get shocked at the content here if you are sensitive to NONCON and read anyways. I am not responsible if you choose to still read this and it's upsetting. Also, there is Forced Breeding included! Read at your own risk.
When I get an AO3, I will be posting this there.
Underthecut - NSFW, NON-CON, Cheating -forced- Oral -Female receiving- Forced Breeding/Forced pregnancy, Degradation. Tagged as Dark Fic
Sinclair Brothers College AU Part 2 Part 1 is here!
Bo will never forget that morning. Never forgot your angelic face buried into his brother's chest, Vincent's face buried into the top of your head, nose nuzzled into your hair.
His voice had hurt for the three days after all the screaming he had done, his knuckles bruised for weeks after he and Vincent drew blows.
He could still hear your screaming, this shrill piercing scream for him to stop. To stop hurting him, to stop hurting Vincent.
Not one scream for him, his well-being.
Bo left the room with a bruised lip and ego.
The image of you comforting Vincent, rubbing his knuckles, kissing his cheek burned in his head. He replayed it over and over.
Bo couldn't get over how everyone seemed to approve of the whole ordeal.
That friend of yours had come running up to you, congratulating you on finally getting with Vincent. Even her tall British boyfriend paid a compliment.
His own friends even poked fun, how stupid he was not to see Vincent slowly making his moves. Vincent and you at the Dairy Queen, you at his art show, how both of you spent hours at the library.
How'd he miss all that?
Bo walked into his dorm, slamming the door behind him as he whipped off his hat, he frowned as he flopped onto the bed. back against the wall as he took in the room.
The large varnished bricks painted a light blue, years of new coats of paint chipping off in the corners. The yellow fluorescent light struggling to light up the room, no doubt the same light from when the dorm was built.
Bo took in his brother's side. Neat, save for a few books littered around, a few on his desk, three on the floor, two on the bed, and Y/n's cellphone.
Bo shot up, eagerly rushing over to Vincent's bed, hands immediately on your phone. He held it in his hands, smirking at the pink phone case with a bear's face on the back. He swiped his thumb over the screen, he grits his teeth at the image of you and Vincent on your home screen. Vincent held his arm around you as he kissed your cheek.
"Putz," he mumbled to himself, Bo's thumb lingered over your lock screen. He pressed in the four numbers, "Shit. She must have changed it." Bo looked up, going over what your new passcode could be. The old one was the date you and him started dating. Bo made sure it was that, and that way he had access to your phone whenever you were careless enough to leave it about.
Bo smiled as he knew what the passcode was. If his brother was anything like him, he'd be just as possessive, "Ding!" Bo tapped his foot in excitement as your phone opened up, he went right to your gallery, brows turned down in disgust.
Picture after picture of you and Vincent. Some tame, others, Bo whistled at the picture of you sucking off Vincent. He hated it, seeing your pretty little face lavish his brother's cock, but for Bo, it was easy just to picture his own in its place.
Another photo, you with your legs spread, hand over your mouth, embarrassed as your pussy was covered in Vincent's seed.
Bo groaned, "Little fuckin' whore." He pressed his feet into the ground, steadying himself. He was taken back to when he'd do the same to you, make you beg for his cum to coat your needy pussy. He licked his lips as he could hear your little whines and begs.
"Cum on my pussy, Bo." Fuck and you sounded so perfect.
"Cum on my pussy, Vinny." He cursed as your voice played over in his head. Hating how easily he could hear your sweet voice be so dirty for his brother.
Bo kept scrolling, his stomach churned, cock-stiffening as he scanned more and more pictures.
Videos, ranging from thirty seconds to two minutes in length. He pressed one, the image of you riding his brother played immediately.
"Oh, Vinny, your cocks making me feel so full." Bo groaned, he turned up the volume to hear the vulgar slaps of your ass against his brother's pelvis. "Oh, Fuck Vinny." Bo watched as you fell onto Vincent's chest as he lifted you, fucking up into you at a fast pace.
Bo watched till the end, his ears burning as your moans and whimpers wafted through the shitty phone speaker. He palmed his erection as he watched Vincent cum deep in you, his brother's disgusting grunts and growls had him snarling.
Bo's eyes remained on the screen. They widened as Vincent pulled out, carelessly spreading your legs open to the camera, both your face and Vincent are not visible, but your pussy was bared. He watches as his brother's seed leaked out of you, hearing Vincent mumbling at what a good little princess you are, how you were made to used, made to be a good little cum dump.
Bo shook, knuckles going white as he held the phone. Your whimpering approval of Vincent's words, how Vincent scooped his cum back up into you...
Bo snapped out of his anger as a text popped up,
-Hey, meet you at the library, I'll only be able to study briefly, I have a surprise shift at the hospital.-
Bo tapped it, immediately taken to your messages with Dan.
Everything between you and Dan was mundane. Study dates that often included Herbert and just random memes.
He exited out, looking over all the people you've been texting. Your texts with him deleted, he huffed as he continued. That girl dating the tall British guy. That weird Billy kid, Freddy, your mom, your boss, and Vincent.
He sat down on his bed as he went through the texts. Some of the texts were mundane, how are you, I'm good. I love you and can't wait to see you.
Bo froze, laughing to himself, leaning back onto the bed as he read the recent texts,
-Remember those awful cramps I've been having? My doctor said it was birth control. I'll be going off it for a few weeks and will be getting that Implanon thing.-
Bo checked the date, "Two weeks ago." he said to himself as he kept reading.
-So bad news, I won't get that Implanon thing for another month.-
-That's okay. We can keep it safe for now. One day though you'll be off that stuff ;)-
Bo shook his head, of course, his brother would be on that train of thought. Getting you pregnant. Watching your belly grow with babe.
Bo seethed, hand running down his front, cock pulsing at the image of you, begging for his cum, asking him to impregnate you. Your belly swelling with the Sinclair seed, his large hand rubbing over you, kissing your cheek, amazed at the changes in your body.
Your tits swelling, begging for Bo to ease the ache in them. Cock stiffening as he suckles on your tender tits.
Bo's attention was snapped back to reality as the door's handle justled. He quickly exited out of the texts, turned off the screen, and threw the phone on the bed, burying his face into his pillow, grunting as his cock angled into the bed painfully.
Vincent stepped in, sneering at his brother. "She forgot something, I won't be long." He mumbled, hand going for your phone.
"Y'her lap dog or some? She can't come get it herself?"
"I don't trust you alone with her." Vincent gave your phone a once over before grabbing a few books, "I'll be gone tonight, I work late, so you can invite that 'cute' girl from the bar." Vincent coughed as he finished his sentence.
"Yeah, yeah..." Bo eyed his brother, pulling his pillow closer into his face.
"You didn't touch this, did you?" Vincent waved the phone around, giving it a once over.
"Why would I touch her shit?"
Vincent shrugged his shoulders, "Bye," He opened the door, "Oh, and Lester is inviting us to a barbeque, he expects you to be there."
Bo flinched as his brother slammed the door. He sat up, freeing his cock, the images of you and Vincent still in his mind, the image of himself pushing Vincent away to replace Vincent's seed with his own...
"The library..." he said to himself, the image of you at the library, pushed over onto one of the corner desks, hidden away from everyone, his cock buried deep inside, pleading with him to cum inside.
Bo gripped the base of his cock, squeezing to let more of his precum drip out, watching as it fell along the side.
"That'd look a lot better in the place it belongs."
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You and Vincent stood in front of the campus library, he ran his hands up and down your sides, pinching your ass when he dipped low.
"Vinny!" He playfully pinched his arm, kissing his cheek as you giggled.
"Can't help it, you're so cute." He kissed you again, tongue wrapping around yours, he pushed you closer into himself, your moan being suppressed by the kiss.
You reluctantly pulled away, "I gotta meet Dan. I need his help with my paper. Thanks for getting my phone."
Vincent nodded at you, kissing your cheek again, "I know, I don't want you near him, either."
You nod into his chest, inhaling his scent, linseed oil, and his farmer's market shampoo. You hum as he begins to sway you back and forth.
"I gotta go, see you tomorrow," He pulls away, hand rubbing over your cheek, his eye taking in your sad ones. "Be safe getting home."
"I will!" You shared a kiss goodbye as you excitedly entered the library.
You waved to norman at the front desk, he briefly looked up to give a small smile before returning to his large ornithology book on his desk.
You grinned and waved as you caught sight of Dan. He was in his scrubs with his Starbucks in his hand, smiling at you.
"I can help you for the next hour before I gotta go," He began as you sat in front of him, "Then I got my shift an-"
"Yes at the hospital, I know I know." You sat and opened your books, Dan grabbing one to flip through it, scanning for the important passage,
"Here, you'll want to start here, copy it, and then grab two more sources from the encyclopedias. Has to be from the books, not online."
You rubbed your temples, "Yeah, that's, a lot to take in."
Dan chuckled, "That's the advanced course for you."
You tapped your pencil on the paper of your books, "So, you hear about Brahms and his girl? The fight they had!"
Dan perked up, brown eyes filled with wonder.
The two of you immediately filled your time with gossip, the mention of Brahms's girlfriend and Billy was the only thing being studied.
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Bo strolled up to the library, "Twenty minutes to closing..." He shrugged his shoulders as he entered.
He looks around, the lights dimmed, the desk lamps off, save for the few remaining students.
"Can I help you?" Bo snapped his head to the thin, pale man at the front desk.
"Ah, yeah, where are the books on, like art and stuff," Bo looked at the nameplate, "Norman." Bo fumbled with his hands in his pockets.
"In the back," Norman gestured his head behind him, "In section eight hundred to eight hundred and fifty. Don't be long, we are closing soon." Norman sneered as he shuffled the papers on his desk.
"Yeah, thanks." Bo shook his head, as he caught Norman giving him a once over.
Bo clenched his fists as he heard Norman mumble "I don't even think he can read."
He made his way around the library, ducking behind the rows when he thought he saw you, any girl that resembled you had his heart clench in shock.
"No, Vinny, I can't talk right now, text it to me instead." Bo froze, his feet heavy, your voice was curt, he heard you grunt, knowing you just hung up on his brother.
Bo followed the voice, finding you tucked away in the private study area, the tables up against the walls, the lights were severely dimmed, Bo wondered how in the hell you could see the paper in front of you.
He carefully watched his steps, inching slowly behind you, grateful you were distracted in the book, grateful you secluded yourself so far away from everyone else.
A wolfish grin spread over his face, standing over you, he leaned in, hands snaking over you, rushing to silence your mouth,
"Hey, Sweets, miss me?"
Your blood went cold, eyes bulged, you attempted to turn but Bo held firm.
"Miss me? Huh? Ah, maybe you need to look at me first." He whispered into your ear, placing a feather-light kiss.
You retched away, guttural noises being silenced as Bo put a hand around your neck.
"Ah, no no, c'mon now, that any way to react to me? C'mon sweets, you used to beg me, beg me not to leave you, cry whenever I missed a date, moan for my cock to make you come." He chuckled as you squirmed in his arms, the chuckle turning into a soft laugh as you reached for your phone.
"Grabbing your phone for me? How nice of you, Sweets!" Bo whipped you around, slamming you onto the table as he chucked away the books, thankful they didn't fall onto the floor.
You began kicking at Bo, the panic making your blood run hot, giving you a surge of strength.
You knew Bo, knew how much stronger he was, knew you couldn't fight him off. The look in his eyes as his body leaned forward onto yours, chuckling off your kicks.
"Ah, hey, calm down," Bo squeezed on your neck, kissing your cheek as you sputtered out a whine, choking as you gasped for air.
Bo grabbed your phone, your eyes burning as he easily tapped the four-digit code to open it, he went right to the gallery, opening up the video of you and Vincent, "Look at you," The video played, Bo held the phone to your face, forcing you to look, "Taking my brother's cum in your slutty little pussy. Fuck what a good whore you are."
He exited out of the video, going to your texts, "So bad news, I won't get that Implanon thing for another month." He read aloud as he shook his head, "tsk tsk, and I bet you are still fucking, even when it's not safe. I mean, if my brother's anything like me, he won't wanna wrap that shit up."
Tears pooled in your eyes, slowly falling along the sides into your hair. Your eyes pleading with him, 'don't do this, please.'
Bo huffed as he pulled down your skirt, panties coming along with it. He took in your pussy, licking his bottom lip as he caught a glance at your shaved pussy, thankful that his brother has the same taste as him. "You look so good, that pussy nice and clean for me, gonna look good with my seed spilling out."
"I'll let you breathe properly if you promise to be quiet, can you do that for me?" His baby blues stared into your eyes, you wanted to hurl as you saw a sick softness to them.
"I'll, b-be- go-good." You choked. You gasped in sweet relief as bo removed his large hand from your neck. Your phone in his hand was held to your face as you realized he was filming.
"You better open up these legs for me, little whore like you should be used to spreading her legs, hm? Taking my brother's cock while dating me. Well, you can have my cock again, and I'm gonna make sure you'll never fucking forget this. Like I'll never fuckin' forget waking up to you." Bo placed the phone down, propping it up against your books, "With cum dripping out your pussy in Vincent's arms."
You looked away as you heard Bo's belt clink his zipper coming undone, "I can easily scream,"
"Scream? ha, the place is practically empty at this point, who's gonna come as you scream? 'Norman' I can tell he's already too self-absorbed to care for another." Bo leaned down, his breath hot over your cunt.
"Please don't, Bo please, I'll do anything!"
His signature cocky grin spread over his lips, "Oh, you will, first, I get a taste of this," He plunged his tongue in, a soft moan as your taste hit his tongue, his eyes looking up at you, then to the phone.
You squirmed as your walls involuntarily pulsed around his tongue. You squeezed your eyes shut, hips shaking as he flicked his tongue over your clit.
"You taste so good, fuck better than I remember," He sucked hard, laughing as you whimpered. "See, little slutty body like your can't help but react."
Wave after wave of pleasure crashed through you, Bo's large hand roaming your body, dipping under your shirt, sliding under your bra to squeeze your breast.
"Fuck it feels good too, remember how you used to beg me to suck on them?" He pinched your hardening nipple, "Look at the camera." He cooed.
He dipped two fingers into your heat, making you groan as he pressed down and sucked hard on your clit.
You breathed heavily through your nose, fighting the urge to let out a wanton moan. Tears flowed as your hips voluntarily bucked into Bo's face, his tongue sending wave after wave of euphoria through you that not even Vincent could manage.
Bo shook his head, a raspy moan muffled by the lewd noises your pussy made as he fingered you. He looked up, smirking into you, your pussy clenching around his fingers, how you covered your mouth to fight back the deep moan.
You ran your hand through Bo's brown hair, he moaned, taking the action as approval for his ministrations. You pushed on him, your airy moans muffled by your palm as you came. Bo stayed latched onto your clit, suckling and flicking it, tongue deep to your cunt to lap at you, groaning as it pulsed around his muscle.
Bo shot up, licking his lips of your cream, "Ah, see that, wanna taste?" You shook your head, mouth a no. He leaned in, one hand angling his cock while the other grabbed your neck.
His tongue wrapped around yours, muffling the whine as he slammed into you, his cock stretching you out, a slight burn mixed with pleasure.
Bo wasted no time, slamming hard into you, his cheeks pink as he groaned into the kiss, he lifted his head, "Ah, fuck, needy little pussy fuckin' missed me. Ah shit, I fuck." He grunted above you, his body pressing you into the table, "Fuck, it missed me, fuck it missed me."
You sobbed under him, your mind going to Vincent, trying to picture it was Vincent on top of you, it was you and Vincent making love in the library, not Bo. Not Bo sending waves of familiar pleasure through you, his cock stretching you out.
"Please, don't cum in me, Bo, please don't."
"Wah? cum in you? Sure, I can do that, after all, your little pussy was made for it." He sneered at you, a dark look flashed over him.
You punched at him, "I'll scream."
"You scream and that video gets sent to Vincent. Doesn't matter I'm hav-having m-my way with y-you." He stuttered between thrusts, "Just a video of you getting impregnated by his older brother. He won't want you."
You sobbed as tears spilled as you turned away from him, Vincent flashed in your mind. His smile, his light blue eyes, his hands holding yours.
Your body tensed as Bo's cock felt intoxicating, the familiar rhythm, his harsh kisses, mind being taken back to you on his bed, how he'd hiked your legs over his shoulders as he pushed them onto your chest, a cocky grin as he fucked you deep.
"Bo," You whimpered, "Please," you continued "Just not inside."
He slammed harder, groaning as you clenched around him, "Feels like it wants it inside. Don't lie to yourself, Sweets."
You couldn't, the tears fell, you whimpered Vincent's name, "Hurry, Bo."
Bo couldn't hold back, your sexy little body squirming under him, your pussy clenching around him, your spent leaking onto the table, your stifled moans. "Look at the camera as you cum, look as I cum in you," He turned your head towards the phone, tears freely falling Bo licked your cheek.
His breathing, his thrusts, his cock filling you so well, his raspy praise. You stared, "I'm sorry, Vincent." You scrunched your face as Bo positioned in and out, a low groan reverberated from his chest.
Bo laughed as he came, his seed painting your insides, coating your pink walls, picturing it shooting deep into your womb, his little swimmers getting to work.
You fought back the urge to barf, his cum filling you send a ripple of pleasure through you.
Bo hissed as his breathing slowed, the realization of your nails digging into his shoulders, came to his senses. He slowly pulled out, grabbing the phone, to capture his seed dripping out of your pussy.
He wrapped his hand around your throat, squeezing, a threat. He continued to film, "Ah, look at that, good little slut getting bred. Just like she was made too."
Bo brought the camera to your face, "Say, 'Hi, Vincent!' ha" he laughed as you kept your vision off him and the camera.
"it's okay, I know you're thinking of getting that plan B. But you'll be coming with me tonight, I'm gonna make sure my seed takes." Bo released your neck, thumb running over your lips as you coughed.
"Get dressed, we're gonna get a hotel, this is from over." He leaned in to kiss your cheek, "My good girl, mine again." He hugged you as he sent the video to his phone. He laughed as he felt you shake in his arms,
"I wonder what Vincent will do when he sees this, gosh I can only imagine." He hummed and swayed you back and forth, "You'll look great with my child in you, can't wait, ah you'll be so beautiful."
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