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a-hermit-pining · 9 days

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Sukuna as a House Husband

Genre: Fluff Pairing: House husband Sukuna x Reader AN: Might be OOC but humor me people. Coming up Geto as househusband 🥰

First few months of Sukuna's career as a househusband are nothing less than accidents that involved smoke alarms and questionable fire extinguisher techniques. The transition from malevolent kitchen to a less lethal one takes quite a minute.

From handing you Lunchables to becoming pinterest core this man takes quite a journey.

Everyday chores that start with ill concealed annoyance and were in the past pointedly pushed on to you are taken over the minute he notices the residues of shared lunch from another in your lunchbox.

How dare you accept someone else's food? The entire evening, Sukuna glared at the takeout pizza with enough intensity to melt the cheese. You swear the pepperoni visibly cowered under his icy gaze.

And the revelation that some random Joe- Shmoe, a pathetic nameless mortal, had lent you his lunch is enough incentive for this man get in action.

This old man has lived his share of luxury as the king of curses. So, the minute he decides to flex his culinary skills your lunches take an immediate promotion.

The obsolete cooking technique no one can replicate...? You bet he's pulling that.

Puts Uraume on the speed dial as the trials of kitchen begin for him. This time, though much to both their disappointment limited to animal meat.

Does not take long before both become grocery shopping buddies for life. Sukuna scowling at unfamiliar vegetables while Uraume patiently explains the difference between shallots and scallions to his Lord.

Weekends take a turn for the… interesting as you become their resident TikTok handler, phone propped precariously on the counter while they attempt to recreate the latest viral trends. Fruit Roll ice cream remains mind blowingly top tier in your household. Getting a reaction even from Uraume.

Sukuna preens under the praise at office potlucks, basking in the envious stares directed at your lunchbox. Every "wow" and "that looks amazing" fuels his ego.

But the real win? Insanely proud when he sees you take pictures of the lunches he makes and even more so when you show him the stories you post on the internet (save his old soul).

Deep into his retirement phase of immortality, Sukuna discovers the joy of aesthetic. This man takes one look at dark academia, gothic Victorian mood boards and not your living room looks like a lair worthy of a final boss villain (which, to be fair, it kind of already was)..

Super into thrifting or picking a random haunted piece of furniture to add character to your living space as he insists, despite your very real concerns about the wailing coming from the armchair at 3 am.

Still a baddie tho. Will get into fights with loud neighbors or bachelor pad finance bros when their trash isn't sorted properly. And it, unfortunately is your responsibility to drag this man back home.

Cleaning is where he draws the line. You will not spot Sukuna with a duster. Ever. So, hiring a cleaning service seemed like a brilliant solution. Except, Sukuna couldn't resist micromanaging their every move. The poor cleaning staff — a battle-hardened group of professionals — withered under his endless critiques on porcelain dusting techniques. Needless to say, generous tips were the only reason they continued to show up.

The King of Curses, a being who once feasted in halls of obsidian and dined on delicacies fit for gods. Yet, the peace and ownership of your little townhouse is sweeter than any other possession of past. His dirty little heart is endeared to his home with you.

#jujutsu kaisen #sukuna x reader #fluff #househusband au #ryomen sukuna

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cowboy-warlock · 5 months

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*Siffrin on their 120th loop busting in the door to the King* YOU LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKING POSER DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES YOUR DUMB ASS PAULDRONS AND RUPENZEL ASS LOCKS HAS COME INTO MY FIELD VISION?? 112 TIMES. 112 TIMES. I MIGHT GET A FAST PASS JUST TO GET HERE SOON, I MIGHT GET A FUCKING LEASE ON THE LAST RESTING ROOM. AT THIS POINT FIGHTING YOU IS LIKE DOING MY LAUNDRY ITS A DAILY FUCKING RITUAL FIRST I WAKE UP BRUSH MY TEETH KICK YOUR FUCKING TEETH IN THEN WALK THE DOG. THATS HOW FUCKING LOW ON THE LIST OF PRIORITIES YOU ARE. IF I HAD TO RANK THE DIFFICULTY OF FIGHTING YOU AND WORKING THROUGH YOUR EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT OR FLOSSING MY MOLARS YOU'D BE A CLOSE SECOND. EVERY FUCKING DAY ITS LIKE AN NPR PODCAST HOSTED BY JOE ROGAN AND A GODAMN SEA CUCUMBER FROM A LLOREAL PARIS COMMERCIAL YOU STUTTER MORE THAN PORKIE PIG ON A PIPE ORGAN . FUCK. YEAH YOU FORGOT OUR COUNTRY AND LAUNGAGE AND YOUR FAMILY BUT YOU TOOK THAT AND WENT "THE ONLY REASONABLE ACTION IS TO ICE 9 THE COUNTRYSIDE" HOW FUCKING BATSHIT CAN YOU BE IS THERE NOT ENOUGH BLOOD FLOWING INTO THAT FUCKING EASTER ISLAND HEAD ASS OF YOURS??? YOU ARENT EVEN A KING YOU PICKED THAT BATMAN ASS ALIAS JUST TO PISS EVERYONE OFF. "I NEED TO DO THIS NOBODY UNRERSTANDS ME" BRO I FUCKING WISH I DIDNT UNDERSTAND YOU THEN MAYBE YOU WOULD BE ACTUALLY MYSTERIOUS BUT NOOO I UNDERSTAND YOUR EVERY THOUGHT AND DESIRE IM IN YOUR HEAD MORE THAN IM IN ISABEAUS AND THANK THE STARS HES NOT A LITTLE BITCH ABOUT IT. EVERY LOOP I GET THIS MUCH CLOSER TO JUST LIGHTING THE BUILDING ON FIRE AND LETTING YOU GO FULL MIDSOMMER BUT I DONT DO THAT, BECAUSE DENTING THAT FUCKING CROWN IS THE ONLY REAL JOY I HAVE LEFT ITS LIKE CRACK TO ME NOW, MALAGNA FRITTERS TURN TO ASH IN MY MOUTH AND THIS BEAUTIFUL HIMBO OVER HERE IS SCARED TO TOUCH ME (OH FUCKING CHRIST I NEED A A BEAR HUG SO TIGHT I START OVER AGAIN I SWEAR IT WOULD FIX ME) SO THE ONLY THING I GET UP IN THE MORNING TO DO IS PRAY THAT THE ONLY REASON IM IN THIS TIME LOOP IS TOO SEE HOW MANY VERTEBRE I CAN DISSECT FROM YOU IN 3 ROUNDS. OH AND IF YOU EVEN FUCKING LOOK AT BONNIE I WILL CUT YOU ASS TO MOUTH AND WEAR YOU LIKE A JACKET. LIKE. A. JACKET.

". . ."

*ding!*

Siffrin Time!

#stuff #i have thoughts about the king #in stars and time #siffrin #more like suffering

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randomlikeliness · 1 year

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Guys, guys, guys.

I know everyone here is discussing the homoerotic tension subtext square polycule whatever you call it between Goncharov, Andrey, Katya and Sofia and I GET IT.

But are we going to just ignore the aroace icon that is Valery Michailov???

First off, he is the only character without a possible love interest. The guy spends the whole movie trying to convince his sister Katya to leave first Goncharov and then Sofia and go back to Russia and he makes it clear that he is not there for any romantic bullshit.

The way he doesn't realize that he has just interrupted the scene with the highest level of homoerotic tension in the whole interest of cinema when he bursts into the bathhouse and finds Goncharov and Andrej staring at each other in towels and talking about nothing (I mean, come on that was obvious even to me)

There is a whole ass conversation between him and Katya about how he considers familial love to be more important than romantic love when he reminds her that "you only have one mother, one father, one brother, but you could trace a path from Naples to our childhood house in Moscow with the blood of all the men who'll tell you they love you."

Bro, the way he showed up to the mafia gala ALONE rather than inviting Ice Pick Joe's cousin like he had suggested even if that would have guaranteed him Ice Pick Joe's help with his plan.

EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER tries to seduce him at one point or the other to get information out of him or manipulate him while he doesn't even bat an eye. Like, the way he doesn't even realize Andrej's flirting with him at the gala! He is totally clueless!!! (yes, I know Andrej was only trying to get a reaction out of Goncharov, that's not the point).

This is just the stuff out the top of my mind. If anyone has anything to add, feel free to contribute.

#goncharov #valery michailov #aromantic #aroace #ace #aro #asexuality #aroace icon #tw irreality #irreality

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lukeevangelista · 1 year

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u should do burrow reader taking joe to see a game!

Hockey Game - Burrow’s Sister

**********

“Can we go to a Michigan game?” Joe asked, catching his little sister off guard.

“Can we what?” You asked as you sat your drink down, your facing whipping towards the phone, seeing his face filling the phone.

You were currently on FaceTime with your brother, you cooking dinner and him packing for another road trip.

“Can we go-“

“I heard you the first time.” You said, causing Joe to roll his eyes at you.

“Then why did you ask?”

“Because i wanted to make sure I heard you right.”

“You did.” He chuckled, “I like Johnny and I know he means a lot to you and I’d like to see him play at least once at Michigan, even if I have to come up there.”

“I’d love that Joe.” You admitted, “He’d be excited you were there too.”

“Don’t get used to it kid.” He said, “Sam and I still aren’t happy you and him are at Michigan.”

“Get over it.”

“Never.” He grinned before telling you he had to go.

****

“You ready?” You asked Joe as you two walked through campus, heading towards Yost.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Joe said, tugging his beanie further down on his head, “It’s so cold here.”

“It’s just as cold here as it is in Ohio.” You chuckled.

“You probably shouldn’t say that cursed word here.”

“You’re right.” You rolled your eyes at him as you finally made it to the entrance, letting the greeter scan the tickets, “Just keep your hat on, head low, and don’t speak. You’ll be fine.” You grinned as you watched him let out a breath.

“I’ll be fine.” He laughed, “I’m not worried. Worst case is we get moved to a family suite.”

“Oh Joe.” You smirked, “We don’t have that here. Good luck.”

You and Joe were having the best time, banging on the glass as you cheered on Johnny and the rest of the boys.

Very few had noticed Joe, but they didn’t bother him since he was with you.

Johnny had stripped the puck from the opposing teams defenseman, quickly skating down the ice before slapping the puck into the back of the net.

“Let’s go Beecher!” You shouted, clapping along with the schools fight song as the band played it.

“Johnny’s pretty good, huh?” Joe asked as the rink quietened back down, play resuming moments later.

“I think he is.” You grinned, “That’s why he’s a first round pick.” You continued, “You’re not the only first round pick anymore.” You joked as he rolled his eyes.

“Whatever.” He tugged you into his side, tossing his arm over you as you watched Michigan eventually beat Michigan State.

“What a game!” You grinned as you waited out by Johnny’s car with Joe, “I’m so proud of you!” You wrapped your arms around Johnny as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“Good game dude.” Joe bro hugged Johnny as soon as you let go of him.

Your eyes darted towards the exit, seeing the rest of the boys filing out of the rink.

“Oh boy, this should be fun.” You chuckled as you watched them make their way towards you, “Be prepared Joe.”

“Oh I am.”

#joe burrow #johnny beecher #johnny beecher x burrow!sister #burrow!reader x johnny beecher #soft thoughts w/ari #aris 1k celly

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neonscandal · 4 months

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This ask about ships was a lot of fun to do so I figured I'd round it out with two more of my favorite ships: MatchaBlossom & SatoSugu. 👇🏾

Explain this. Heterosexually.

MatchaBlossom

Gives nose/forehead kisses - Joe and Kaoru is swift to bat him away but, in actuality, he eats up the attention.

Gets jealous the most - Kaoru, demonstrably, is always annoyed at the bitches, bros and non-binary hoes making heart eyes at Joe and hanging off his biceps. Joe might pretend not to notice but he, too, has a hawk eye for any attention shown toward Kaoru and is especially off kilter any time Adam is around or mentioned.

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive - Cherry, quite begrudgingly, and with a slew of mean little nicknames much to Joe's dismay. Joe is absolutely handsy and needy when drunk but also incredibly heavy. So, even though Kaoru acts like he's in a huff about it, he's also a little delighted. Inversely, Kaoru trusts Carla to get him home after a night at the bar. Home, of course, being wherever Joe is (even if that's Sia La Luce during normal business hours) and always shows up out of the blue, unannounced and very demanding until he passes out. Joe tends to his every whim even if he knows Kaoru won't be awake by the time whatever complex dish he requested is finally ready.

Takes care of on sick days - Since Kaoru is usually too weak to be mean when he's sick, Joe revels in the opportunity to baby and tease him. When Joe's sick, it's a bit of a different story. Regimented medicine disbursal clocked by Carla and tailored to Joe's physical condition and, even if he's making a stink about the ordeal ("all those muscles and you still can't take care of yourself" 🙄), Kaoru's hiding a little smile.

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day - Joe and he pays dearly for it.

Gives unprompted massages - Joe because Kaoru always gets princess treatment. Also, Kaoru would never want to give Joe a big head about his body so he only indulges if asked.

Drives/rides shotgun - For all his bluster, Joe is the passenger princess to Kaoru's anal retentive driving. He likes reclining, hands behind his head, open shirt fluttering against his skin with the windows down. He also loves hanging out of the passenger side when pulling up beside the kids skateboarding. Just really heavy golden retriever vibes.

Brings the other lunch at work - Joe would if he could but Kaoru makes excuses about him being too "undignified" for his place of work (he literally doesn't want any prying eyes on his handsome partner). Plus Kaoru makes it a point to drop into Sia La Luce on the daily, anyway.

Has the better parental relationship - Both. Kaoru is polite and successful and, even during his rebellious youth was still tactful and studious. Joe's parents are non-traditional and extremely supportive, they pushed him to go to Italy to study cuisine, after all. Kaoru is welcomed enthusiastically with open arms in the Nanjo homestead. Joe is similarly received but, since the Sakurayashiki's are a lot more reserved, their displays of acceptance are a lot more conservative. He subsequently feels like he has to walk on eggshells. Kaoru knows he doesn't have to but doesn't correct him since he finds the situation entertaining.

Tries to start role-playing in bed - Joe and it does not go well. Kaoru gets flustered at the mention and he spends a significant time in the dog house. After a much extended breather, Kaoru initiates it, still flustered, and, though Joe appreciates the effort, realizes he wasn't missing out on anything.

Embarrassingly drunk dancer - Kaoru. You cannot tell me someone that uptight is not incredibly embarrassing once alcohol is introduced into the equation. Kaoru gives very strong Yuuri Katsuki from "Yuri on Ice" vibes (if you know, you know).

Still cries watching Titanic - Kaoru and Joe takes the opportunity to cuddle and coo over him. Such comforts are not needed, of course, but Kaoru isn't going to correct him. It's a rare moment he lets himself be vulnerable so he laps up the softness.

Firmly believes in couples costumes - Joe and Kaoru hates it. To the point where he makes serious efforts to thwart the execution. Not a perfect example, since Kaoru wouldn't be caught dead in this, but one year Joe would pitch something like Red Hot Chili Peppers so he could effectively be shirtless for Halloween and Kaoru shows up in a Chili Pepper 🌶️ costume. (RHCP are problematic so, sorry for the mention but I was spacing on another double entendre).

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas - Kaoru and quite smugly, might I add. But Joe doesn't have the same discerning tastes as Kaoru so he's none the wiser. He's just like "Wow, Kaoru, thanks for the shirt/cologne/shoes!" without realizing how expensive they are. Kaoru knows this but still loves seeing Joe in expensive things. It's his little secret.

Makes the other eat breakfast - Joe. Kaoru doesn't need forcing by any means but Joe's always going to be the one in the kitchen, it's one of his many love languages. Kaoru might deign to roll his eyes, even while eating the best thing he's ever had, but Joe knows he's done a good job when Cherry is quiet (which he always is) while eating. Though he puts on quite the show at Sia La Luce.

Remembers anniversaries - Kaoru but he waits for Joe to mention them. He'll never be caught being the more vulnerable or affectionate one but he is, undoubtedly, both. It's why Joe lays on the princess treatment so thick, he knows Kaoru wouldn't ask. Demand in some cases, sure, but when it really matters he wouldn't let himself.

Brings up having kids - Neither. Kaoru has such rich auntie vibes and they're both really happy with the riffraff they pick up along the way. Why change a good thing?

SatoSugu

Gives nose/forehead kisses - Gojo and usually just to be a little shit. It doesn't mean neither enjoy it but Gojo definitely punctuates it with a little "heh".

Gets jealous the most - Geto but barely. Gojo isn't completely oblivious to the attention he gets but he's so down bad for Geto it doesn't matter. He'll entertain the attention for convenience (like making a smooth exit from Riko's school without people asking questions) but otherwise goes on about his day. As such, Geto's jealousy is usually more of an annoyance. He's a good looking dude, fawn over him, too, monkeys!

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive - Gojo is an insufferable lightweight so, fortunately, he doesn't drink often. Instead, he's pontificating aloud the wonders of the world *ahem* Digimon *ahem* or the philosophies of ancient shogun era historical figures while Geto and Shoko are drinking like fish. Then he delivers all participating parties home safely. Note, I did not say drive. He is either abusing his authority with Ijichi to come get them or, provided they don't seem like they'll puke, abusing his teleportation technique. Either way, Shoko crashes with them, obviously.

Takes care of on sick days - Gojo is insufferable on the rare occasions he gets sick and Geto absolutely spoils him. Inversely, when Geto is sick, Gojo does the same but is just... totally clueless. Medicine? Why not candy! Chills? I will warm you up with my body! Both are idiots and refrain from seeking professional advice (reversed curse technique treatment or actual medical assistance from Shoko).

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day - Gojo. And Geto lets him. Gojo spent a long time not able to give into childish whims and Geto creates a safe space for him to be silly and over the top and petulant when needed. But he can only laugh at so many sea cucumber jokes (jk, the limit does not exist, he's just as bad a simp for Gojo).

Gives unprompted massages - Gojo. Gojo is so incredibly touchy feely though its all reserved for Geto. Before they were a thing, he wasn't even aware of how frequently he'd be draped over Geto's shoulders or leaning on him while engrossed in conversation. It should have been alarming to the Limitless user but Geto's space was always his and vice versa.

Drives/rides shotgun - Geto. Gojo cannot be trusted behind the wheel of a car. Some days, Geto wonders how Yaga trusts him with the future of jujutsu society (even though he knows Gojo takes the responsibility seriously... as seriously as he can).

Brings the other lunch at work - Geto. Gojo would be on an Elf diet of chocolate, puddings, parfaits and candy if Geto didn't. Gojo gives Geto candy every time he eats a curse, though, so it's kind of the same... It is not the same.

Has the better parental relationship - Neither. Gojo's parents didn't parent him and Geto's parents were obligatory but not affectionate. They both seek family elsewhere and were lucky to find it with one another (and Shoko, damnit!).

Tries to start role-playing in bed - Gojo but nothing sexy. Literally, mans spends so much time thinking about historical figures and Jump series' that its more of a "What if" situation that Geto rolls his eyes at everytime. It's not role play, it's more like supposing what kind of person X was in intimate environments that will just pop into Gojo's head as they themselves are engaging in something intimate. Geto knows, at that point, that the moment has turned into a conversation and just indulges in Gojo's outlandish hypotheses with a silly little smile.

Embarrassingly drunk dancer - Gojo. The man is unhinged and an incredible lightweight. It's larger than life limbs everywhere and he sings.

Still cries watching Titanic - Neither but it sparks a lot of surprising convos.

Firmly believes in couples costumes - Gojo which Geto always indulges. The ideas don't even have to be good but, if Gojo lights up when he says it, he's locked in.

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas - Gojo. Be so for real right now. Geto is always bashful about accepting. He has no concept of the cost just knows Gojo is absurdly rich and knows no limits when it comes to him so he imagines its an egregious amount. He is correct.

Makes the other eat breakfast - Gojo is not one to sleep much so, surprisingly, he's the one pressing Geto for breakfast. Nevermind that it's something decadently sweet but it's the fact that he wakes up to big, glowing blue eyes and waffles topped with ice cream and syrups Gojo waited in line for while he languished in bed. Nutrition aside, Geto follows up with a more balanced lunch for both of them (see above).

Remembers anniversaries - Geto. He's the romantic. It's not that Gojo doesn't remember or appreciate anniversaries. He's just got so many programs running in that head of his that he's always too early or too late. Geto keeps him grounded in time, for which he is grateful, and Gojo spoils him accordingly.

Brings up having kids - Neither. Haven't they kidnapped enough?

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qoeww · 2 years

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Okay so basically all the ninja turtle bros with someone who paints the future ( kinda like joes mom in TAWOG) and they paint a date with them and the turtle. How who they react to that?? (If this is too much you don’t gotta like write it lmao)

BOYS WITH S/O WHO DRAWS THEM DATING IN FUTURE

Warning: Nothing

Characters: Turtle Bros

Author Note: I am sorry for late answer hun, I hope you like it <3

LEO

Leo gave his room to you for a couple of hours, he knew you liked to paint in silence

And he knew you were drawing pictures so you needed to focus

But it's okay if he stays quiet, right?

He tries to open the door silently, but the hinges make a noise that fills the entire room

And this happened 10 times already

You gave an "Again?" look to him

"Ahah, well now I think you should rest now- What about eating some ice cream, I know a good place. But you know what before we go, I think I can take a look."

If you try to cover your painting he will get more curious and will do everything to see it

"Geez Y/N, don't be shy, I know you are talen-"

In the drawing you guys are holding hands and it kind of looks like... A date?

if you think he will be sassy about it no. He will start to stutter and gonna try to tug at the neck of his missing sweater while laughing in pain

You guys didn't open feelings to each other yet but it shows he will gonna win your heart

He plays saxophone inside

"You know what, I get it you're being busy with drawing. So I respect your time aaaand this is the place where Leo leaves-"

After two minutes he comes back and whispers "And when you finish it, uhhhhh... please show me."

When you finished your painting and go out for eating ice cream, he will take this as a date

DONNIE

You two were sitting in his labs, he was trying to understand what he did wrong about flight teams at car and you were painting picture humming a song

He finally understand what he did wrong, paired the wrong cables and... Done!

He picked up Raph's broken phone while waiting for you to finish

He finished literally every work but you were still sitting

He slowly approached you and looked over your shoulder

"What."

His brain tries to process, give him one minute

He will deny painting first, maybe this time you draw for fun?

But you swing your head in other directions

Ok, this is impossible for science, even he knows everything you draw had happened

He will turn his back and cover his face, eyebrows are frowning, sweat runs from his neck to his shell

HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, NOTHING GOES ACCORDING TO HIS PLAN

He will take a deep breath and turn to you again

And ask for a date.

Yes

RAPH

"Good work team, now hero pose!"

The boys came from the mission while you waiting, the minutes passed like hours so you started painting

Raph threw himself on the couch you were sitting on

"Oh, hey Y/N! What are you doin'?"

Leaning back, he watched your back and involuntarily sighed

Your drawing was important for these boys, they can predict future disasters and that was incredible

But for now, he didn't wanna think about the future just hug you

"I was drawing, the painting is almost done. How was your day?"

When you turned him, he saw the canvas

"Raph... Raph?"

"Is that really... Future?"

"Oh yes."

You two sitting at the corner of the building, the place is lit by candles and your shoulder is on his arm

An awkward silence comes between you, he is just looking other direction

You can hear he is having a meeting with Mind Raph

After deciding what to do he turns to you

"Hey Y/N" He scratched his neck with a shy expression on his face

He will open his feeling to you and will wait for your reply without taking a breath

If you accept his feeling his nervous expression slowly goes big smile

He will hug you for couple hours

Maybe your painting can wait

MIKEY

Mikey was always a sharer so he was happy about sharing his paints with you

I mean, it was a nice way to spend time with his crush

While talking with you, you two can paint. The mix of two perfect activities turned out to be something divine!

He would watch you silently behind you as you drawing the future, sometimes you forgot he was even there

He knows you need to focus

He always wanted and kept his drawings of him and his family from you

But today he was preparing his sprays

After finishing the finishing touches on your painting, you were going to go graffiti

He was so busy preparing everything, so he couldn't look at your canvas, normally you would sit side by side and doodle something

He comes to you crawling from his seat

"Do you need help?"

He looked at your picture as he rested his head on your shoulder

"OMİGOSH! IS THAT FUTURE???"

He will be the only turtle who will ask you out without fear

He is sure you love him too

You take a breaktime to spend time with the orange turtle

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #donatello x reader #rottmnt #rottmnt headcanons #tmnt headcanons #leonardo x reader #raphael x reader #michelangelo x reader #save rottmnt

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waitmyturtles · 1 year

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Okay. The Promise IS REALLY GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD! Gah, I am SO happy I picked this up.

Episode 3: we still don’t have a read on what separated Phu from Nan for 10 years. However, a few notes on why this episode was the best yet so far, despite not getting that juice yet. Some quick notes first, and then big thoughts (and I have a couple of coffee notes as a postscript):

I should have realized this earlier, but I think one reason why I’m loving this show so far is because, while much of the show is flashbacks, our two mains are in their early-going-into-their-mid-30s, and much of the show happens in the context of their professional pursuits. As an #old, me likey -- I always love generational shifts in dramas, and I definitely need more dramas with older folk.

The sponsorship of this show is so wild, but honestly, I’m not kidding, I kinda think it works (listen, it looks like UMG’s only sponsor is for for CANNED MACKEREL, so like, how they’re going to weave CANNED MACKEREL in the show will be VERY INTERESTING, and I’m NOT looking forward to it). Why does this Devonte Men skincare framework shit work?

Because: this episode focused on Nan as a professional. And I LOVED IT. In his personal life, Nan’s a mess. Before Phu came back, he had trouble sleeping, his house was in disarray. During college, he needed to rely on Phu to keep track of his classes. Phu keeps Nan in check -- he encourages Nan to keep fit, Phu keeps Nan organized.

But in the office? We see that at least in this episode, Nan’s a G, a confident one, too. I can’t wait to get @respectthepetty‘s read on Nan’s red suit vs. the blue suit at the end, but I totally felt the red rascal vibe on Nan for the first three quarters of the show. Nan owned everything! He HUSTLED and GOT THE COFFEE SHOP FOR PHU. He nailed the first presentation with boss Ken. Nan was faltering a touch at the end, but HIS bro (not anyone else’s bro) came thru with the product samples and the dimples. Nan makes shit happen professionally -- for himself, for his team, for Phu. We didn’t get quite that strong sense during the first two episodes, but this episode clearly defined what Nan can do STRONGLY in his life. He’s not a total hot mess.

I LOVED THIS. We know we need to learn about Phu, but Uncle Tong Khom Kongkiat is out here telling us -- there’s a story, a big story, about Nan, too, that I need to tell y’all, so that y’all have the full context you need to understand what’s happening between these two.

And that’s why those small flashbacks to Chiang Mai and to Nan’s dad were really important. Phu and Nan, Nan and Phu -- they’ve balanced each other out for their lives. They clearly exist in an equilibrium when they’re together, and it’s so lovely to watch. I looooved that tingle of jealousy at Joe’s club, and then the ride home. It sizzled.

When Phu was out of Nan’s life, Nan was unbalanced. I think episode 3 makes sense as Nan’s presence as a professional is depicted as so strong, because Phu is back in his life, and Nan is back in balance.

I THINK THIS SHOW IS SO GREAT. (I totally don’t mind the whole weaving-in of the sponsorship thing. They make it work.)

****

Okay, quick SE Asian food/coffee thoughts (y’all know I love the food context), because I actually think they’re important to the show. I could maybe make a separate post about this, à la khao man gai, but let me just put this down first. Coffee is VERY important to this show, clearly.

Oliang means coffee! Oliang is specifically Thai black iced coffee, according to Wikipedia. Man, my heart. I love that Nan named his cat Oliang. A way to honor how he missed Phu, the coffee guy, before Phu came back.

Okay, I don’t know that much about this, but it seems that a common way to brew coffee in Thailand is to brew it with spices, which, GAH, YUM. (I once had a drink here in the States called “Bangkok iced coffee,” which was cardamom-infused coffee with half-and-half and condensed milk. GOOD LORD.) Check the Wikipedia article for the different styles of iced coffee you can get in Thailand -- oh my fucking god, YUM.

Alright, kopi. (Peep the definition for Thai kopi in the oliang article linked above.) I love that Thai and Malay both share a same word for kopi, although Malaysian/Singaporean kopi looks like it’s slightly different than in Thailand, because there are many styles of “kopi” in M’sia/SG that don’t necessarily come with condensed milk. Take a look at this list on the Malaysian/Singaporean kopi Wikipedia page.

I also don’t *think* that Malaysian/Singaporean kopi is boiled with spices (if they don’t mind the tag, my SE Asian homies @telomeke and @tireddddddddddddddd-d might know -- apologies for tagging you if you’re not watching The Promise, but kopi question over here! Is Malaysian/Singaporean kopi ever boiled with spices, as it seems to be in Thailand?)

If you’re a coffee nerd: note that in the Malaysian/Singaporean style of kopi, that the beans are roasted with salt, sugar, and margarine. There’s a style of coffee in M’sia called Ipoh white coffee, which is my personal fave, super strong, and seriously divine, if you ever get your hands on it. It’s famous in part for that roasting in margarine.

It seems that, according to the kopi Wiki article, that the kind of Thai kopi that Nan and Phu drink was actually historically inspired by the Malaysian/Singaporean way of roasting and brewing hot coffee. So putting it all together, the Thai kopi that Nan and Phu have seems to be the hot spiced coffee with condensed milk, which must be just HEAVENLYYYYYYY. Gah. (And I love love love how they reference it as “old-school coffee.” A throwback to their rural childhood.) (I am sure many of y’all have had strong Vietnamese coffee, which is also black coffee with condensed milk.)

ANYWAY. Coffee/kopi culture is big in this region, and so worth nerding out about! Anytime I can get my hands on Malaysian kopi/white coffee, I get it, and I’m certainly going to keep my eyes peeled for Thai coffee preparations now. If I’m ever lucky to get my hands on a cup of old-school Thai kopi, I’ll report back on how awesome I know it will be.

#the promise #the promise meta #nan x phu #phu x nan #khom kongkiat #thai coffee #kopi #thai kopi #malaysian kopi #malaysian coffee #singaporean coffee #singaporean kopi #coffee culture #kopi culture

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that-house · 1 year

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do your best impression of a pretentious film bro GO

Really? You've heard of Goncharov? Sorry, sorry, I know you're smart. But I didn't think a female such as yourself would have heard about Scorsese's little-known magnum opus. Who was your favorite character? Katya? Wait, you liked Ice Pick Joe? Really? I doubt that. He's not really a popular character because most people just don't get the symbolism behind him. You think he's hot, right? That's why? Why won't anyone have sex with me

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angryteapott-archive · 1 year

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Why is Goncharov 1973 funny:

I saw something like the goncharov joke stands in direct contrast to the “sometimes the curtains are just blue” post which made me go hm…. Also saw people confused by the joke so now I thought too much and made a three parter on my take

Part 1: shoe movie funny

The original joke is that a pair of shoes invented an obviously fake movie, which is funny because why would a pair a shoes do that. The derivative joke is a person going “wow loser you haven’t seen this fake movie?” Which is a joke stressing how ridiculous it is by pretending it’s normal for shoes to advertise a niche obviously fake scorsese film, who isn’t known for gimmicky advertising, BUT ALSO a joke on how bullies could use fear of missing out to make people just pretend to have seen something that doesn’t exist rather than reveal ignorance (like the classic made up band name jokes).

The next step of the Goncharov joke, and from what i can tell launched it all, is a person making up a poster about the movie and going oh yes this very real movie. It has jokes about the mafia genre tropes (“ice pick joe”, a hot lady side character, mostly male cast, scorsese actors) as well as being funny because it commits highlights the same two juxtapositions as the previous jokes, FOMO and shoe movie funny, while adding the inherent funniness of someone putting in way too much work for a bit. Things like the soundtracks follow on this (they’re mostly funny because they take the shoe movie too seriously) and thus should be categorized as part of the third wave.

Part 2: sometimes the curtains are just blue

The fourth wave of goncharovism, which is the bulk of the posts and the subject of most discussion, is media criticism, content, and derivative works about Goncharov, a movie that doesn’t exist. There’s posts that read like actual film critics, lines that seem like surprisingly good dialogue, themes about time because Film Shows Clocks Means Deep, bad overwrought dialogue, and most critically, the typical tumblr engagement with a piece of media including meta, gifsets, fanworks and snide comments about how other people are misinterpreting the movie. A movie that isn’t real. It’s fake.

The joke here is obviously a love letter to and scathing critique of criticism- the fact that analysis of something that doesn’t exist reads like actual analysis that people unironically post mocks that a lot of analysis doesn’t engage with text but overlays existing biases over it regardless of content, and also that a lot of movies are the same movie tbh. Katya is being held to unrealistic standards makes fun of shallow stock feminism, “homoeroticism” points to tumblrs obsession with gay stuff that isn’t actually that gay, and all the fake and often bad quotes show how we love to feel deeply about stuff we don’t really engage with. It’s also pointing to how silly it is to put in this much “anger” and effort in and how enjoyable it is to do this, regardless of whether it makes sense. Sometimes curtains are just curtains, and sometimes a clock doesn’t fucking exist, but it sure is fun to say what the curtain really means is that humanity is inherently sinful and that the clock means that Goncharov and Andrey, two characters that don’t have personalities because the movie they’re from doesn’t exist, wanna fuck.

The joke is that it’s fake deep, but it’s fun to do anyways. The joke is that people are getting mad about “people” who don’t exist being sexist etc because they’re making fun of tumblrinas who don’t look at nuance and assume a very specific form of oppression without evidence AND that people would say that shit because scorsese bros ARE sexist. The joke is that we know it’s fake but people find themselves taking it seriously anyways because it’s fun to make up a movie together and fun to make fun of ourselves. I love it!! It’s great!!! But it’s not a declaration against that the curtains are just blue, it’s a satire making the same point much more joyfully.

Part 3: the reality of goncharov

The fake goncharov movie has trended a fairly specific ways: it has defined characters and relationships, a fairly limited cast in terms of people who matter, homoeroticism, hot girl with a gun, and a lot of foreshadowing. It’s very invested in Katya and Goncharov’s personal narratives despite the wide array of people on the poster. Other than that very funny post about a (fake) shoot out showing the destructiveness and hollowness of nationalism, it’s not all that engaged in systems or the mafia specifically.

And sure, our Goncharov is so narrow partially due to its fake genre- mafia movies are tropey and hero obsessed. It’s fake. We’re making fun of the “best movie” by making a fake tropey movie!! But half the joke is being earnest, and our fake movie is chock full of the tumblr beloved tropes of obsession with romantic relationships, with “themes” that emphasize tragic endings for mutual obsessions, of an absolute lack of engagement with systems while insisting we are engaging , and of a focus on two or three characters instead of an ensemble cast- a million people are writing a movie and yet it has no breadth.

And GET THIS- Goncharov is a real movie. No, I mean it. Goncharov is probably a Google-translate-error-caused misprint of the movie Gomorrah, “presented” by Scorsese while not being directed by him at all. Egbert’s review, so mercilessly parodied in Gonch-posting (or goncharosting, as I like to say), calls it “a curative for the romanticism of The Godfather and Scarface”. Rather than deifying a specific man, it is a series of vignettes about horrible violence that seems unavoidable for its rotating characters. It’s based on real killings, and many of its actors were actually arrested for mafia activities. Forget hollow themes- it’s a movie that’s harrowing due to its reality.

Which is very very funny. Like i genuinely can’t believe we made a fake mafia movie that’s accidentally about a realest mafia movie ever made that proves how much we don’t mentally engage with the important oppressions and systems in our world while insisting that we’re self aware the irony the thematic parallel the sheer “oh fuck for real”ness of it all i was going to try to say something deep but like can you believe it??? God playing is playing 4-d funny chess with every last one of us. Long live goncharov

#goncharov #no one’s gonna read this but istg goncharov is the funniest joke ever made #goncharov meta #goncharov explained #long post #i was going to put a read more but no. this is funnier

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papirini · 1 year

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I legitimately cannot believe that there’s all this talk about Goncharov (1973) and no one here’s mentioned the Kubrick cut? Goddamn, people. Let me tell you, it was definitely an interesting thing to hear about (if not watch, which...well, read below).

So back when Goncharov was still in development in 1971, it was actually going to be a miniseries for the BBC, and Kubrick was asked to step in as director by Warner Bros, who held the international option for the books. He declined to direct (as at the time he was working on A Clockwork Orange, and we all know it was Matteo JWHJ 0715 who directed the whole shebang), but when he read the script he asked to edit the reels, and this was granted.

Obviously the feature version released in theaters was not the Kubrick cut, since keep in mind, it was meant to be a miniseries when he was on board. However, due to a very drawn-out contractual dispute between Warner Bros., the author’s estate and Mosfilm (the Russian/Soviet “right holders”, who tried to block the miniseries by claiming the books belonged to the Soviet state and thus the miniseries couldn’t be made without their permission)-which in and of itself deserves its own book-Warner Bros. was forced to downsize what it planned to do in order to recoup its budget. Still, two different Kubrick-edited work cuts of Goncharov exist despite the legal battle-a 9-hour cut (meant to be the miniseries), and a shorter 5-hour cut once the decision to shelve the miniseries was made. Warner Bros. then had Scorsese re-edit that down to a more “palatable” 3 hours, while Kubrick went on to develop and make Barry Lyndon.

Unfortunately, very few people have been given permission to see either Kubrick cut due to the aforementioned legal dispute. That said, I haven’t seen it myself, but my mother attended a screening put on by a Japanese businessman in 1982. It’s called “the Honolulu screening” (the second of only five known screenings of either Kubrick cut) and he’d put it on as thanks to the hospital staff for the care he received after his open-heart surgery. After seeing the interest in Gonacharov on Twitter based on the interest brewing on Tumblr, I asked her what she remembered, and from what she told me, I’m pretty sure she saw the 5-hour cut.

Some big differences between the theatrical cut and the 5-hour Kubrick cut, according to my mom:

-There were scenes of Goncharov’s childhood in Tsarist Russia, including the scene where he sneaks into the Winter Palace and sees all of the ostentatious riches and power of the men on top. It also shows Nicholas II (played by Michael Jayston, same as in Nicholas and Alexandra (1971) being alone and shot by Soviet troops in the basement. Obviously a foreshadow to Goncharov’s death.

-We also see how Katya and Sofia grew up, and it’s implied (though not shown) that they might have started their affair before Katya left for Italy.

-We actually see how Goncharov and Andrey meet-they’re on the boat to Istanbul as they flee Russia. We also see Goncharov’s affair with the Russian ambassador’s wife.

-Ice Pick Joe is not present in the film. Apparently he (and John Cazale) was added after the bulk of the filming had been done due to his performance in The Godfather. Definitely some reshooting was done.

-A character who IS present is Ambrosini’s Siberian man, Grigori Antonovokov (played by Christopher Lee). He joins Goncharov and eventually leads the men in revolt at the end.

-Another character present is Alexei, the child of Goncharov and the ambassador’s wife, who is basically smuggled into Naples and passed off as Andrey’s child from an old affair. The books have Goncharov and Andrey’s relationship develop in part due to his visits to see his son.

-Speaking of Alexei, it’s strongly hinted that Katya is aware of his existence, even though Goncharov never tells her about him. Sofia definitely becomes aware of him, and like in the book discretely smothers him in his sleep.

-Fruit stand scene is there, and it also includes Katya and Sofia’s carriage drive down the Amalfi Coast (updated to a car, obviously).

-The grandfather clock belonged to Ambrosini first and actually breaks three times throughout the movie. First time is when Ambrosini is murdered, second time is when Sofia murders Alexei, and the third time is when Goncharov is killed. It’s obviously not fixed that third time.

-Not surprisingly, Alexei’s death is why Goncharov and Andrey start to drift apart in the middle of the film.

#goncharov #goncharov 1973 #unreality #kubrick movie #martin scorsese #work cut #fun fact

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