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sophieinwonderland · 3 months

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Debunking r/systemscringe's DID Lies!

For those who aren't aware, r/systemscringe is an ableist hate subreddit, and is one of the greatest sources of misinformation about dissociative disorders and plurality on the internet.

Today, I'd like to go over some of their most prominent excuses for fakeclaiming DID and OSDD systems, and why those reasons are contradicted by actual research by actual psychiatrists.

"Alters Can't Talk To Each Other"

This is one of the most easily-debunked lies I've seen to excuse fakeclaiming. It can take a few different forms. But generally, when a system talks about speaking to their alters, r/systemscringe users will say that it's impossible and that DID doesn't work like that.

This isn't just a little false. It completely contradicts all known research into DID.

Hearing voices of alters is directly mentioned in the DSM-5 as a symptom.

This isn't even uncommon. Voce hearing is more common in DID than in schizophrenia, experienced in about 80% of cases of dissociative disorders.

Now, it does need to be noted that just because 80% do, that doesn't mean it's true of everyone. 20% is still a big number, and systems who can't communicate internally are still valid.

But the fact of the matter is that most systems can communicate this way.

"You Need (Years of) Therapy to be Able to Communicate With Alters"

Failing the first one, another popular claim is that alters can't possibly communicate without therapy. Usually, people will claim this requires "years" of therapy to build communication.

So is this true?

Turns out, not in the slightest. In fact, in a study comparing DID voice hearers to schizophrenic voice hearers, it was found that 90% of the DID voice hearers started hearing voices before the age of 18.

This is in comparison to a Schizophrenic group that consisted of 28% without maltreatment and 38% with maltreatment that started before the age of 18.

Given that DID notoriously takes years to get correctly diagnosed with and most patients aren't diagnosed until adulthood, it should be obvious that most of these 90% didn't have to undergo years of therapy before being able to hear the voices of their alters.

"Alters Can't Be Friends"

Let's be 100% clear here. Dissociative Identity Disorder is absolutely a disorder. It couldn't be diagnosed if it didn't come with some level of distress or impairment. That's a fundamental part of the criteria.

But when that same study I posted above asked the DID and Schizophrenic groups if they would miss the voices if they were gone, a huge 69% of the DID group said they would.

The truth is that DID is more complicated and nuanced than "having alters bad."

Sometimes the distress or impairment has less to do with the other alters and more to do with the other dissociative symptoms, such as the DP/DR and the amnesia.

And sometimes, you can have positive relationships with some alters and negative relationships with others. And yes, there is that 31% who say they wouldn't miss hearing their alters if they no longer heard them. That's valid too.

But this does show that a majority of DID systems do feel a close attachment to the other alters in their systems.

"Systems Can't Control When They Switch"

Like above, this is nuanced. The truth is some systems can't control switching. Others can only control it some of the time. And some have full control.

There has actually been a study on a DID patient voluntarily switching in and MRI machine:

This study literally couldn't have been done were it not possible to voluntarily switch.

"Fictives Aren't Real"

Okay, now let's tackle one of the biggest lies to justify fakeclaiming. Fictional introjects or "Fictives" are alters or headmates based on fictional characters. r/systemscringe and other fakeclaimers love to fakeclaim systems for being fictive heavy or even having any fictives at all.

And like most of r/systemscringe's claims, this is nonsense. Here is one account of fictives from 1988.

Furthermore, in the book The Haunted Self, which is responsible for the Theory of Structural Dissociation of the Personality, one case study is referenced of someone who had many fictives based off of Start Trek characters.

This also serves to debunk other reasons for fakeclaiming I've seen from r/systemscringe. That a system has too many fictive, is all fictives, or that their fictives all come from the same source. Because as we see above, this is a very real documented presentation of dissociative identity disorder.

Closing:

I'm likely not done with this post. I plan to add to this list of misinformation that I've seen repeatedly peddled by the hate subreddit and used to justify attacking systems. There is A LOT there!

But here's the bottom line. r/systemcringe is a hate sub peddling division and bigotry against systems... often for normal system things that have been well-documented in academic literature.

If you're here from r/systemscringe, I'm sure you've seen all or most of the above lies I debunked above posted there. And if you're a system, I would ask you why you would stand by a subreddit that so blatantly spreads misinformation about other systems with the intent of hurting them? With the intent of hurting people like you?

Because if you think that they're your friends, I have watched them turn on systems that joined in with their fakeclaiming so many times, and fakeclaiming fellow members of that subreddit. And I can promise that they will turn on you too.

Click here for my debunk of their claims that endogenic systems are a "conspiracy theory."

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star-anise · 4 months

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now, hold still—

I'd kill for some resources on body image in the context of disability, chronic pain, and having grown up with a complicated and intense medical history. I think I've exhausted my local library's offerings. Yes, I'm seeing a counsellor who focuses on this, and he's probably got recs, but I'm pacing my cage and lashing my tail in between sessions.

"Body image" has a particular connotation most of the time, because it comes out of the field that deals with eating disorders. Which is great and I'm glad for the people it works for, but its basic principles and assumptions are for completely different problems than the one I have.

I can't track down who said it first, but in my reading I keep coming across this narrative of, "I saw my body as something to be disciplined and controlled, an object only seen by external eyes. Now I've learned to take joy in what my body can do and experience, and to see it as a site of pleasure."

...Sounds fake, but okay.

My body is a site of pain. It cannot do or bear the experience of many things. I have to exercise a huge amount of discipline and control just to get out of bed every day. I can't imagine my body being a visible object that other people might find pleasing; it's incredibly hard to look up from my continual tooth-and-nail fight getting my body to let me live to imagine what someone who doesn't live with all this shit might see.

When I was a child, I learned to hold myself very still. For a hairdresser, or photographer, or a dentist, or someone who wanted to measure my height, or an injection, or a doctor who wanted a demonstration of how one of my joints looked, or an X-ray, or an IV inserted, or a CAT scan, or to have a cast taken off, or a PET scan, or to have a wound treated, or an MRI, or to have a pin pulled out.

And you know, I got proud of that. I felt like a brave warrior in a fantasy novel. I learned to take deep breaths, and take myself in my mind away from the anxiety and unpleasantness, until I could shut down my reaction to it. So that I didn't flinch or scream or cry. Because there was something wrong with my body, and doctors knew how to fix it.

When I was getting assessed for fibromyalgia, this new doctor told me he was going palpate areas in my back, arms, and knees. I get a lot of massage; I knew what was coming. I slowed my breathing, concentrating on the long outbreath. I took myself away from my reactions and thought continually, obsessively, about letting my body droop, weightless, like the moment when your aching limbs meet a solid surface and fresh cool sheets.

"Hm, I dunno," he said. "A lot of this checks out, but your trigger point exam was totally negative. Most people, when I touch those points, they have a big reaction. Some people even scream and jump off the table."

"Well, no," I think I said. "If I'd done that, it would have hurt way more, for like, hours." And I was polite about it, because you have to be polite to doctors; doctors know how to make you feel better. But what I felt at the time, and still feel today, is a kind of outrage I labelled was unreasonable the moment it was born: You wanted to hurt me, and it's my fault for not letting you?

How do you learn how to ask for things, when you've taught yourself to lie still and cry quietly because the nurse who said they'd be right back is helping someone who suddenly needs the help more? How do you express yourself, when you've spent your whole life gritting your teeth?

The problems I have about my body are not about being attractive or thin. They are, however, about being small. Learning to cry less, scream less, and ask for less. About feeling like my body is a burden to anyone who comes to know it, and like that's a burden I can't ask other people to take on unless I'm staggering under the weight of it.

Right now, what I've got is this:

Remember, you weren’t the one who made you ashamed, but you are the one who can make you proud. Just practice, practice until you get proud, and once you are proud, keep practicing so you won’t forget. You get proud by practicing.

#staranise original #chronic pain lyfe #gore tw

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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AITA for refusing to reschedule an MRI? A bit of background - I've been dealing with chronic pain for the majority of my life. Over the past 8ish months I've had pretty significant pain in my knee, so I've been seeing a doctor about it, and I've been in physical therapy.

After a few sessions of physical therapy, I went to the same doctor for a follow-up, and he said that he wanted to order an MRI to make sure there wasn't an issue, given how long I'd been having the knee pain for, and that he had wanted to when he first saw me but I was required PT before he could. I scheduled the MRI for the soonest appointment I could get, which is in the middle of the month (two weeks from now at 7pm), and the follow-up to look over the results was also the soonest appointment I could get, in the beginning of next month. (At the time of submitting its the 4th.)

I still live with my family (Apartments are insanely expensive where I live, and I can't afford renting. Broke college student), and when my mom got back from a business trip, I told her when I had scheduled things. She got upset because apparently the day I had picked, we were supposed to have family over for thanksgiving. (The day I picked wasn't thanksgiving.)

She asked me if I could reschedule the MRI, and I told her no, as scheduling was incredibly limited for both the doctor and the place I have to get an MRI at, and there's no guarantee I'd even be seen this month if I tried to reschedule. She asked a few more times, getting upset that I just went ahead and scheduled it, but I was never told that family was supposed to be over that day and I wouldn't have been able to ask anyways since she wasn't at home.

AITA for refusing to reschedule the MRI? I feel like I could be for not putting family first, but I'm also worried about the doctor + MRI place having any appointments open.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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dissociacrip · 7 months

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why isn't there much info about coathanger pain with POTS?? or at least why is this not more common knowledge? i don't think i've ever seen anyone talking about this. every time i've asked about it (+other POTS symptoms it comes with in my case) in chronic illness spaces people have suggested everything from fibro, MCAS, a CFS leak, a herniated disc, CCI, etc. but nobody ever said "coathanger pain."

but dysautonomia international posted a silly little graphic on their instagram and now i have my answers to why i was having a ton of symptoms that did suggest a herniated disc but there were no signs of disc herniation upon getting an MRI and for some reason it was triggered by working morning shift/having to be upright for a long time in the mornings. i would get excruciating, searing pain that feels pike a knife has been shoved into the base of my neck and the whole of my upper back would have this icy burning sensation. accompanied by me losing the ability to think straight, losing my coordination, and slurring my speech. i left work crying one morning because of how much pain i was in before i eventually came to the conclusion i couldn't do morning shifts.

that's coathanger pain. my spine is okay (i think...for now, anyway.) according to The Stuff they don't know what causes coathanger pain necessarily but they theorize it has to do with reduced blood flow to those areas of the body (which would track since POTS tends to involve blood pooling in the extremities and such.) it's also not exclusive to POTS and is associated with dysautonomia or orthostatic intolerance in general i think.

One example of the power of obtaining the autonomic history is the Coat Hanger Phenomenon. In people who have neurogenic orthostatic hypotension or orthostatic intolerance, they can complain of pain, or like a charley horse kind of sensation, in the back of the neck and shoulder areas in the distribution that’s like a coat hanger. And it goes away when the person is lying down. That’s an important symptom. And the way I explain it is that the muscles that control your head are tonically active, otherwise your head be falling down all the time. Tonically active. That means they’re using up oxygenated blood all the time. Well suppose you’re in a critical situation where there’s a drop in blood flow at the delivery of oxygenated blood to the head. In that situation these muscles are not getting enough oxygenated blood. They’re tonically active, so they’re producing lactic acid and you get a charley horse, just like you’d have a cramp anywhere else. It’s a skeletal muscle thing. So, I think when somebody complains of Coat Hanger Phenomenon, that’s a very important sign or symptom. And that is not invented. That’s a real phenomenon. It points to ischemia to the skeletal muscle holding your head up.

(Dr. Goldstein, The Dysautonomia Project)

worsening cognitive dysfunction, slurred speech, and worsening coordination because blood's not getting to my brain. bordering on emergency-room-level pain in my upper back and neck because not enough blood is getting to those parts of my body. got it.

anyway, i legit have NEVER seen this discussed until recently and i thought i should share.

#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #pots syndrome #potsie #dysautonomia #chronic illness #j #body log

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yrfemmehusband · 1 month

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It's endometriosis awareness month! Here's some general knowledge on my condition, as misinformation is constantly spread about it.

Endometriosis is a disease affecting 1 in 10 people with uteruses. A tissue similar to the endometrial lining, of period blood, grows and sheds on the outside of the uterus. As the menstrual cycle comes, the blood has nowhere to go. This causes intense pain and irritation to surrounding organs. It is one of the most painful diseases recorded.

Endometriosis was first discovered in 1860, though it was recognized in the Hippocratic Corpus around 4,000 years ago. Treatments have varied through the years, starting out with bloodletting, leeches, hanging upside down, exorcisms, genital mutilation, and chemical douches. During the Middle ages, the perception of chronic pelvic pain shifted from a recognized condition to something caused by hysteria, promiscuity, or it was made up. In the hayday of Hippocratic practice, Endometriosis was more common than it is today, likely due to the inaccessibility of diagnosis compared to 4,000 years ago. Somehow.

Today, treatments include birth control, surgery, hysterectomy, and pain relief. There is no cure.

It takes an average of 7-12 years for someone to receive a diagnosis.

Anyone can get endometriosis, including cis men

A hysterectomy is not a cure, as endometriosis will continue to grow and spread to other organs

The pain one experiences due to endometriosis does not correlate with staging. Staging reveals how extensive endometriosis lesions are, not pain. Someone with stage 1 could experience excruciating pain, while someone with stage 4 and frozen pelvis can experience no pain.

Endometriosis lesions are not endometrial lining. The tissue is similar, but not the same. Thus, no one actually knows what endometriosis actually is.

It is only diagnosable through laparoscopic surgery. It can be detected via imaging such as ultrasound or MRI, but more often than not, it isn't seen. You can have completely clear tests up until your surgery and still have even the higher stages of Endo (like me!) (this one was for all you undiagnosed people, you're not crazy!)

Endometriosis is comorbid with many things, including pelvic floor dysfunction, adenomyosis, vulvodynia, uterine cancer and fibroids, ovarian cancer, many autoimmune and inflammatory conditions (rheumatoid arthritis, MS, IBD), and cardiovascular disease.

I've provided links in each point and I deeply encourage you to read my sources, whether you have endo or not. Not enough people understand endometriosis so a lot of us who deal with it don't get grace or compassion, be it in our work lives, relationships, friendships, or family. People with endo, happy endometriosis awareness month.

#endometriosis #endo #endometriosis awareness #chronic illness #disability #cripple punk #chronic pain #chronically ill #disability awareness #cpunk #endometriosis awareness month

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bunjywunjy · 2 years

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JESUS CHRIST I just accidentally looked up an MRI of a pug dog's face and it's the worst thing I've seen all week

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fairuzfan · 5 months

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Did the israeli army say they found all the guns and stuff in an MRI lab? The M in MRI stands for magnet... if you've ever had to get a scan you know how they make sure you don't have anything metal on you? That because it's basically a giant spinning magnet... if that was the "hamas gun bunker" or whatever wouldn't all the bullets and stuff just get attracted to the magnet? Like im no expert but if i were hamas i would simply not keep my guns in the room with the big magnet. I know it wasn't convincing evidence before or anything but that just stuck out to me as particularly wierd. Like is the IDF even trying?

You are so right!! They did do that lol. Like out of all the rooms in a hospital to stage it, you chose the room that would make the LEAST sense?? Could you have thought for a second about your propaganda lol. What makes it even more heinous is that Biden is like "I've seen evidence that the hospital is a base," like just straight up lying to our faces.

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waddlewaddlewaddlewaddle · 10 months

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Over my head (Miguel ‘o’ Hara x Reader)

Chapter 4

Wc:1.9k

Tw: mentions of blood

Themes: ✎slow burn ( I think)

Mutual pining

✎office romance (¿)

Hidden romance

✎Smut available as story progresses.

Dom Miguel x sub/bratty reader

✎Stubborn, Ill tempered Miguel.

✎ Angelic reader .

It girl reader.

✎I try to be as accurate as possible.

English is not my first language so bare with me.

✎badass stoic x sweet empath.

Og spanish speaker so be prepared for steamy dialogue :3

Here’s the master list for previous or future chapters.

⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩🕸

-"Miguel!"- Your body couldn't help but call out his name after seeing such a scene.

A crimson gaze met yours , his face froze as if he'd been caught red handed.

-"Greetings."-He replied as he could since blood was cascading over the corner of his mouth.-"If you excuse me i'll be on my way."- Miguel turned his back and tried to walk away before your voice interrupted him.

-"Are you crazy?! you're losing a stupid amount of blood, what even happened to you?

-"Well i've clearly been better"-He noted in a sarcastic tone.-"But if you must know ive just been flung around by some villains, i could've left less beaten up but i didn't want to interrupt the party they organized for you.”

-"Miguel that's ridiculous , just look at you.-You pressed an open gash on his neck to which he quickly winced to.-"If you needed assistance you should've just called."

In a moment lyla appeared and sat on his shoulder.

-"That's what i told him, we should let him suffer for being so hard headed.”-Lyla joked.

Miguel knotted his eyebrows and shooed her of his shoulders trying to maintain the last string sanity that allowed him to keep a cordial conversation while in extreme pain.

-"come with me, let me tend to your injuries"

-"Thanks for the offered but i can stand a punch, go back to the party now."

you couldn't help but roll your eyes incredulous of this mans priorities.

-"You're literally about to collapse and all you care about is a stupid party?!"-You groaned out at him in hopes that he gets the severity of the matter at hand.

-"Its not just a party."-He expressed with seriousness.-"I haven't seen my spider people that happy in a while, they're joyful to have you here and seem to trust you already. you wouldnt understand but they need that morale to withstand the burden of their responsibilities.So please go back and keep them company ; i can handle myself."

-"What about you?" You asked gleeful after hearing the first kind words Miguel has said to you.

-"What about me?"

-"How do you feel about having me here?"

Miguel looked back at lyla for any indication on how he should respond but she just raised her shoulders at him.

-"Well i certainly feel ... happy?"-He responded with awkwardness so you knew he was lying, catching up onto your disapproving gaze he finally answered with the truth.-With confidence i can say i'm relieved by having you here.

As you grinned in satisfaction with his answer you remembered he was on the brink of falling over, which by the way is very unprofessional on your behalf, you couldn't help it , you found yourself lost in conversation. To convince Miguel to allow to get himself treated you asked dad bod peter to send the spiders some beer and it was as if you never left.

🕸 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩🕸

With some struggle you managed to get Miguel to go to the infirmary, you indicated him to sit down on stool near your desk.

His big figure almost didn't fit on the stool, his eyes followed you around the room as you woke up your bots.

-“You've fixed this place up nicely.”-He commented lookin at the fresh tulips on the desk while the room lit up with painting prints and the floor gleamed with beautiful carpets.

-“Thank you, I never had the chance to decorate an infirmary so I wanted to put things that could make my patients feel happy or at ease.”-You said looking at your hologram table while viewing his medical chart to see any allergies or pre existing conditions. - Nino can you run a CT scan and an MRI , Kiko be a dear and takes his vitals and oxygen saturation levels while I go grab some tools to clean his face right up.

While you went to the back room for sanitizing materials lyla looked at him funny seeing him in his little stool waiting to be treated.

-“I should ask her to bring a tweezer to see if maybe she’ll do you a favor and clean up those bushy eyebrows of yours.”-Said the artificial intelligence while he sits up straight in his chair clearly wishing he wasn’t in such a vulnerable position.

-“If you don’t close that pixel sized mouth of yours I’m gonna ask spider byte to make you bald.”- He retorted with a straight face to which lyla just responded by sticking up her middle finger and vanishing in the air.

Soon you walked back into the room with your lab coat and your hair tied up in a bun while holding some materials.

-“Are you ready for this , big boy? It’s gonna sting a bit so tell me if you need me to slow down.”- You said as you put on your latex gloves.-“My bots are gonna take a while to take your tests so after I finish cleaning you up they’ll tell me what’s up with you.”

-“I already told you I’m fine Y/n.”- Miguel hasn’t stepped in an infirmary in a long time , so he feels very out of place.

-“We’ll see about that, I’d sit down to treat you but all id see is your chest.”-You giggled.-“Not that I’m complaining though!” -You watched as Miguel raised and eyebrow and you could swear you saw the corner of his mouth go up.-“Wow peter was right, you really don’t have a sense of humor.”

-“I Do have a sense of humor is just that -ow!”-Miguel jumped as he felt the sting of the cotton swab cleaning his cheek

-“I’m sorry , I’m sorry I’ll be more gentle.”- You brought your face closer to his while being more gentle with the swab.

Miguel suddenly felt heat rushing to his cheeks he didn’t know if it was because your face was just mere inches from his or because when you noticed you were hurting him you truly cared for his comfort and started to be more gentle.

All of a sudden one of your bots started ringing like and alarm.

-“WARNING HEART RATE ELEVATED TO 113 BPM.”- Said kiko while spinning ad flashing red lights.

- “That’s strange.” -You comment as you quickly bandage his face up so you can investigate the reason of his quick heart rate.

-“That machine must be broken.”- Said Miguel a little embarrassed while hunching up his shoulders ,you just gave him an unconvinced glare.

-“Nino can you give me the results of the scan please.”

-“CT and MRI indicate ribs number 6 and 7 are fractured, MRI reveals no damage done to blood vessels or lungs.”- Said Nino unconcerned.

Your jaw dropped to the floor while you looked over at the man that treating broken ribs like a stubbed toe.

-“Miguel why didn’t you tell me you had broken ribs!”- You yelled out in shock someone could sit still with broken ribs.

-“I didn’t know, why are you mad at me? I’m the one with broken ribs.”- He noted while arching a brow.

-“Are you dumb?! You can puncture your lungs and god forbid provoke some interior hemorrhage. Take your shirt off right now!”

Miguel was about to scold you for calling him dumb but was quickly fluttered by you requesting him to take his shirt off.

-“What?”- He replied dumbfounded

-“Take your shirt off so I can examine you , quickly.”

“Oh maybe you are dumb Miguel ” he thought to himself for thinking about other things when you asked him to take his shirt off , he quickly pressed some buttons on his watch and in a few seconds his bare torso was revealed to you. You couldn’t help but blush as you saw such a shredded torso with beautiful sculpted shoulders, you knew he was your boss but goddam this man never skips arm day. You quickly shake your head trying to get rid of those teenage girl like thoughts and start to press on the bruised skin on top of his ribs to examine the situation.

-“Does it hurt much?”

-“Nope.”

-“What about now?” You say as you apply some pressure on the affected area.

-“Auugh.”- He groaned as he winced.-“That trick of yours is getting old.”

Miguel glanced over at your direction noticing you had a quite worried face , as soon as you noticed his stare you quickly gave him a fake smile. -“I think it’s quite funny, wait here I’ll get some pain medication and a rib splint.”

You bolted to the storage room and back and started to load the syringe.

-“I can assure you this won’t hurt much , I have the gentlest hands in the business you know?”-You bragged while squatting while injecting the fluid into the tender spot in his ribs.- “If you feel any type of discomfort please let me know Miguel , you shouldn’t hide and injury like this I’m glad I caught you sneaking off. People depend on you , the spider society needs you in the best condition you can be. Even so regardless of who you are you should always take care of yourself.”

Miguel grinned taking advantage of the fact that your sight was straight on his ribs, he was truly moved by your words , they seemed sincere in his ears, he usually didn’t trust people this rapidly but to him you yelled out trustworthiness. He also didn’t want to admit that your proximity and care was making him feel some kind of way he quickly wanted to bury those thoughts in the back of his head. But there was a question pestering him so he gave into his desires and grabbed you by the wrist so he would get your attention.

You quickly looked up at him , your doe eyes looking up at him with innocent confusion made his his throat stiffen up.

-“Why do you care so much about me, after all we only met yesterday.” He questioned getting lost in your gaze.

-“You seem like a good person , you also seem like a dutiful man plus you really care about your workers . You seem to have the courage other people seem to lack. In summary for the moment you’re on my good side , let’s hope you stay that way buddy. But even if you weren’t a good person in my perception, you’re still a person who’s hurt and needs help , that’s enough for me to give my all in treating them.”- You smiled at him hoping your answer was good enough for him while returning to inject the fluid in various points of his ribs.

Miguel felt content with your answer which allowed him to be more relaxed in your presence after all he felt uncomfortable being seen so vulnerable , he was used to acting the part of the tough one.

-“Don’t call me buddy. I am your boss.”- He joked trying to switch the mood.

-“My bad Mr ‘o’ Hara. I’ll put on the brace splint now. ” You chimed as you stood between his right leg and leaned down to apply the splint trying to end this procedure as soon as possible so you could get out of this compromising position.

As you were almost done applying the splint you and Miguel heard a drunk voice come closer while the door handle moved , both of your eyes met in fear that someone would see you and misinterpret the situation.

-“y/n!!!! Are you here???? I’m coming innnnnnnn……”

A/n: I’m sorry for the delay I’ve been busy with work 😭 but I’m really happy with the way this chapter turned out.

#miguel o'hara #mutual pining #office romance #miguel x reader #hurt/comfort #smut available as story progresses #secret romance #pls read #spiderman #across the spiderverse #fanfic #pls like #comments are appreciated #hope you enjoy #atsv #atsv miguel #slowly but surely #SoundCloud

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butterfly-casket · 3 months

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Sometimes breaking down and crying to your primary care physician....works

I was desperate for answers at the end of 2023. I mean, it's been 3 years and I still don't have answers. I had lost all hope, as I was gaining new symptoms, and still no one had any idea what could be wrong. Until I read about MS, and it fit nearly all of my symptoms. I scheduled the first appointment I could to discuss it with my primary. After scheduling it, I realized I had only scheduled a 20 min appointment, and spent 4 hours getting all of my symptoms typed out with dates of when they started, how long they lasted, when they got worse. I typed out a script to communicate to my doctor all of the most important/relevant information in the most condensed form possible. I was ready to be in and out, spend 5 minutes getting him the information, and the next 15 discussing with him the plan of action.

Instead, my doc was pissed that I was even there. I had only seen his NP up until this point and he was so upset that I, a person with so many issues, had come in to see him personally the Friday before his Christmas break. He made sure to spend the first 5 minutes of the appointment interrupting me to express his frustration, and I started to feel like he wasn't going to help me at all.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop myself as I started shaking out of fear, and then the anger-override kicked in. I whipped out my symptom list, and his demeanor immediately changed. I told him as calmly as I could in the moment "THAT is my symptom list. Are you just not going to help me?"

He started saying "Well its just that you're going to try and make this appointment take 3 hours—" I cut him off to say "No, I wanted to make this appointment 20 minutes but you just spent the first 5 putting your problems on me." *cues the flood gates* "I've had doctors, nurse practitioners, specialists all innaccurately record my symptoms, if they ever even recorded them at all. I have to walk with a cane, I haven't been able to work for a year and a half, I have NO income, I am just trying to survive and I've been dismissed and not believed over and over again, to the point that it's effected my medical records. It makes EVERYONE think I'm fucking INSANE. I just want some help. I just need some fucking help. I just need some fucking answers. Please."

He started getting in my chart and got to business. He immediately ordered about 8 retests and 6 new ones. He got me a referral to Neurology, ordered X-rays, a swallow test, and MRIs to check for MS.

I went to the Rheumatology appointment I already had scheduled a few weeks later. I felt like the doctor was actually listening to me for the first time in forever. He made a point to record every one of my symptoms as I listed them. He seemed to care. I just came back from my swallow test today. The person performing the test acted like he read through my whole chart and was asking me a lot of questions about my other issues. He asked me if I had the MRIs yet before the test, and when going over the results he said "If it does turn out to be MS, come back to us. We will help you, figure out what works for you."

I've been terrified of being too direct with my doctors, I wouldn't even tell them the diagnosises that I thought it COULD be out of fear of them going "You've just been looking up things on the internet, I'm giving you a munchausens diagnosis." But I was desperate. It was a real cry for help. And thank fuck he saw that. Even if I still don't find answers, I've brought to their attention the mistreatment and carelessness I've been dealing with and they have decided to change that. Hopefully I will be treated like a normal human being and get my symptoms recorded correctly.

#insane slur #tw insane slur #butterfly-casket #disabled #disability #multiple sclerosis #medical malpractice #medical maltreatment #disabled rights #doctor #doctors #PCP #medical records #chronic fatigue #chronic pain #chronic illness

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