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#I've cried for 3 days straight
katsudondom · 3 months
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I miss Splatoon 2 :( I used to play that game for hours until my controller died. I'd be obsessed with playing that game while having fast food breakfast and coffee on the weekends, so me and my ma frequented Starbucks or Chick fil A often. I'd play future funk/city pop on my headphones, or when no one was at the house, I'd play it out loud. It was just so chill man.
Then I switched to Smash or BoTW using my pro controller (that no longer works) and played those games for hours as well. Maining Young Link/Terry and being obsessed with the smash community and watching countless smash videos. Or discover new things in BoTW and spending hours just running around doing stupid crap in the game because I finished everything but didn't want to let it go.
Smash is dead, Splatoon 3 just doesn't excite me, and I can't get into Totk. You don't realize how good you had it till you wake up years later and realize that you're getting emotional over the days where you wished things we better.
Funny how that works, huh?
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english-history-trip · 9 months
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More adventures in manuscript hunting
So I've got two depictions of Philippa of Hainault here from different editions of Froissart's Chronicles. They show the badass moment I was unaware of when she rallied the troops on horseback before the Battle of Neville's Cross against the Scots.
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The first one is very pretty and detailed, but clearly way out of date (the artist of this edition puts 15th century Burgundian fashion on everybody.) The second one is simpler, but may have been produced closer to Philippa's lifetime (none of these have a date, other than some time between 1350 and 1450). Also, she's kinda warlike and fired up, even riding astride instead of sidesaddle.
So the question is:
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seoafin · 5 months
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idk if things are still going badly but hope it gets better for you :( stay strong this shit is really corny but there’s always sunshine after the rain
thank u it's not corny at all it truly means a lot 😢
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Using the sad emotions to write angst. Some good ole hurt. Maybe I'll throw in some comfort. Maybe.
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rubiesintherough · 2 years
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#you know. i think the best way i can describe my fibro flares to someone are... day 3 of having a really bad flu#not when you're first coming down with it. not toward the end when your fever starts breaking and you feel better#smack dab right in the middle. where you're so exhausted bc you can't sleep bc you feel so sick. haven't rested properly in days kinda tired#everything hurts. every muscle aches. every joint pops when you try to move#you feel nauseous and dizzy. you get up to try using the bathroom and almost fall over. your body is too weak to hold itself up#you've already cried twice today bc you just feel so damn awful#you have no appetite and have to fight to keep anything you do eat down bc you just hurt so goddamn much#your stomach hurts.#your brain is all foggy. you can't think straight. you can't really talk bc the words just arent there#but unlike having the flu... this isnt rare#and you won't 'get better'#the symptoms will let up a little bit again enough for you to function better but you won't ever feel 100%#and it'll hit again. for no reason. and you get to go through multiple days of being bedbound feeling like you've caught the worst flu of yo#*your life. and nothing helps. nothing helps with the symptoms for more than a couple minutes at a time#and there's no telling when another flare will hit and you'll feel this awful again#its fucking terrifying living in a body that actively fights against you#................ anyway that's what i've been dealing with for the past couple days#and worst is today. god i woke up feeling like i was dying#no exaggeration. i considered going to the ER until i realized.... nope just a 'normal' flare level. just have to power through it#(( ooc. ))#venting tw#negativity tw#health tw
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readychilledwine · 4 months
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Cassian who after you two realize you’re pregnant slowly stops doing as much training to spend time with you and your growing body.
Cassian who slowly starts eating the foods you crave so you don’t feel alone in the weird things you’re eating
Cassian who slowly starts getting a “dad bod” towards the end of your pregnancy, still keeping his muscle mass in his arms and legs, his abs are just starting to get a little more full.
Cassian who realizes you’re starting to like the dad bod more than the straight hard ass muscle and after the little babe is boring starts taking more days off of training to stay in his new body shape for you
I'm. Salivating.
Dadbod
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Summary - After the pregnancy and birth of your first daughter, you aren't the only one dealing with body changes
Warnings - insecure Cassian, suggestiveness and implied smut, teasing from Rhys and Azriel.
A/N -i want everyone to know what my vision of a "cut dadbod" is. It's Jason Momoa in Aquaman. He's lean, muscular, and cut, but he's not what cassian would typically be of rippling muscles and abs you can wash laundry on. So, I attached a picture of the image that came to mind while reading this 🤤🥴
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Your honor, I need him. Sexually.
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Cassian sighed loudly as he looked himself over in the mirror. There was no denying he had put on weight with your pregnancy, and especially with the pressures of fatherhood and a newborn, but Mother above you wanted him.
Your bottom lip was caught between your teeth as your eyes slightly glazed over, focused in on his strong arms and shoulders, on his chest, his stomach. Yes, cut abs no longer sat exposed all the time, begging to be licked between every ridge, but there was something about how his build now accentuated the v of his hips, how it highlighted his still trim waist without distracting from it.
Your mate was the most attractive male you'd ever laid eyes on. Not Rhys. Not Azriel. Not even the countless high fae you dealt with daily. None of them could hold a candle to Cassian and none ever would.
"I can feel you staring. I know I've gotten out of shape, you can just say it." His voice was laced with sadness. You could feel his disappointment running down the bond as he picked up your daughter, bouncing her as he smiled.
That was the other attractive thing about Cassian. Watching him be a father. Watching him with his daughter. Seeing his excitement over having a little girl. Cassian never expressed disappointment. He never made snide comments about your failure at providing a male, no. Cassian cherished her, his little baby bat, and thanked you for her profusely.
His love for her was part of why he had "Let himself go." He had gone from hours spent on the roof, training the priestess, training with Azriel and Rhys, training Feyre to each group receiving an hour of his time instead of his whole day. He wanted to be with her, not locked on the House of Wind, stuck hearing her small cries as the doorways carried them to him.
"Cassian, you are the sexiest I have ever seen you," you finally answered him, lip going back to your teeth. You wanted him, needed him. You two had not touched each other in so long.
"You don't have to lie, sweetheart. I know I'm not-"
"Stop it," it came out more forcefully than you had wanted. "I like your body. I love the way you look. I still want to fuck you senselessly daily. Just stop."
That conversation had changed everything. Cassian would never admit it, but he enjoyed having his days to himself. He enjoyed only allowing training to ocuppy 3 to 4 hours of his day versus almost 8.
And Gods, he loved how you looked at him now. He loved how much more you two snuggled, how you seemed more comfortable laying your head on his chest.
"Good morning, fuckers." Cassian effortlessly flipped the crepes he had been making for you when he heard Rhys and Azriel sit down at the kitchen island. "What do you want?"
Rhys looked at the unhealthy breakfast, one you constantly craved during pregnancy. "When do you two plan on being back to hard training and dieting?"
He knew Rhys was asking out of curiosity, but Cassian couldn't help but growl, more concerned about Rhys possibly mocking your post pregnancy body more than Cassian's own new dad body.
Azriel's spine straightened at the sound as he shot Rhys a look. "What our brother is trying to say, Cass, is we miss training with you all day on our days off, and we are concerned you are not taking time for yourself anymore."
The look Cassian gave them felt almost like he was attempting to murder them. Like he was warning them of the line they were risking. "My mate needs me and appreciates my help with our daughter. I like my current schedule. When she is older, will I maybe go back to a more training heavy schedule? Possibly. But for now, I am doing what's best for me and my family." And my sex life, he thought silently to himself as images of you riding him last night came to mind.
"We are just concerned, Cassian," Rhys stated softly. "About your growing daddy tummy." His smile broke out as he poked Cassian's abs, eyes widening over still feeling solid muscle below a slight layer of skin. "What the fuck?" Rhys stood, walking over to Cassian. "How are you still so fit?"
"He's fucking perfect, isn't he?" You walked into the room, a small head and wings poking out from the body wrap you were using to carry the daughter you shared with the general. "Delicious."
Azriel chuckled, moving to you to take the babe, but unsure if you meant the crepes or your husband. "As long as you two are happy, that's all that matters. I just was worried about your mental health, Cass. Mother knows your a vain creature that loved his abs more than breathing."
"Or eating."
"Or drinking."
"Or fucking," Rhys and Azriel went on as you moved to Cassian, arms wrapping around his strong biceps.
He looked in the mirror again that night, holding his daughter as he stared at his abs. This current body was a reminder to him of how life had changed, of the growth you two had done, the small life that was now phsyical evidence of the love you two shared. "Dad bod," he finally said. "I'd rather have my dad bod."
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General Taglist:
@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish
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cupid-styles · 5 months
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a day in the life (ymls)
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it's been awhile since I've posted anything about these cuties so here's a lil blurb!!!!! hope you enjoy :)
word count: 1.3k
content warnings: family stuff, y/n is no longer pregnant BUT there's discussions of her pregnancy, giving birth, and lactating/breastfeeding
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. . .
Y/N never asked Harry to live with her.
They never had a conversation about it, instead just deciding to go to her house after she and Clementine were released from the hospital because it would likely be easier to recover in her own space — all of her lactation gear was there, along with the three (3!) different pregnancy pillows Harry purchased for her throughout the duration of the pregnancy. 
But then he just never… left.
In hindsight, despite neither of them bringing it up, they both recognize that it’s a way past overdue discussion. Someone should’ve been like, “hey, I know we’ve only been dating for like four months or so and we’re having a baby together, but should we live in the same space, maybe? Just for ease of parenting and all that?”. 
Surprisingly, though, since Y/N very much appreciates her own room — she didn’t do well in college when she had a roommate in their dorm, and she’s very much an introvert that adores heading home at the end of the long day and simply being alone — she hasn’t completely hated Harry being around all the time. It’s the most that they’ve ever spent time together, a whopping three and a half weeks straight since Clementine was born.
It’s a different kind of time, though, considering a newborn’s schedule is unlike anything else. They alternate between who gets to nap during the day and while Y/N is technically cleared for recovery, she still aches like… well, like she pushed an entire body through her. (Even when she tears up looking at Clementine nearly every day, she still shudders at the thought of giving birth. Harry called it the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and she sincerely wonders if he’s mentally well.) 
And somehow, they’ve developed a schedule that works quite well, for now at least. Clementine, their sweet little baby girl, is a decent sleeper. Per all those parenting books Harry obsessed over for nine months, she spends most of her time sleeping, with multiple feeding times throughout the day and night.
When Harry and Y/N both manage to be awake and conscious during the day, they hover over her bassinet — well, formerly in Y/N’s room, but now it seems to be Y/N’s plus Harry’s room? — quietly leaning in to make sure she’s breathing okay, admiring her cute little face, and taking pictures of the adorable onesies Harry puts her in. They have visitors, of course, including both pairs of their parents, siblings, and mutual friends. There’s a lot of crying and smiling and, oddly enough, entertaining, which is silly considering they’re still brand new parents who are working off of two- or three-hour incremental naps. 
In terms of their dynamic, things shift slightly, but Y/N is still the grump Harry adores. She’s exhausted, understandably so. The whole breastfeeding thing wreaks havoc on her body and Clementine doesn’t love it, so she tries her best to regularly pump milk for her, but she hates sitting on the couch, asking Harry to turn on some stupid reality show to distract her, and feeling the machine push and prod at her breasts. 
“This makes me feel like a cow,” she’d huffed the first time they did it, and it made Harry snort so loud he had to excuse himself from the room. 
But Harry… he’s good, even if it’s difficult for Y/N to properly communicate that to him. She knows she got very lucky with him, not just from a partnership standpoint — which, that’s an entirely different conversation that they haven’t gotten to yet — but a parenting one, too. He has no reason to get up with her at 3 am because Clem’s doing her sweet little lamb cries from the corner of their bedroom. Y/N can very easily escape to the room she designated as her nursery months back, where there’s a comfy nursing chair her mother bought her, but instead Harry’s up before Y/N’s eyes are even properly open, gently placing her in her arms and pushing a warm bottle into her hand.
He insists on helping her with every feeding, taking on more diaper changes than Y/N, and even doing his best to take care of her along the way. He helps her into the bath when her bones and joints are too achy to stand in the shower, he never complains about cooking them dinner (if Y/N orders food one more time, she thinks her bank will call her and ask if she’s been taken hostage by one of those ordering apps), and, even with her heightened hormones and emotions, she does indeed cry helplessly, salty tears leaking onto her daughter’s forehead when Harry comes home one day with a bouquet of flowers, a tidy note in the front that says “for my girls”. 
It makes him laugh so hard, the sight of his cranky girl in her milk-stained robe standing in the kitchen, gently rocking Clementine as she holds the pretty stems. 
“Why are you laughing?” Y/N sniffs, lifting her hand to quickly wipe tears away from her cheeks. 
“Because you just look so cute right now,” he says with a grin. He takes the flowers back from her, murmuring out something about putting them in a vase. 
“Sometimes I do wonder if you’re certifiably insane.” Y/N mutters, partially to herself. When she glances down at a milk drunk Clem, a smile quirks at the edges of her lips. “What do you think, Clemmie? Is dada crazy?”
Harry knows that this isn’t the traditional family he dreamed about, that having a baby with Y/N was a risk he was only willing to take because he always wanted to be a dad — but shit, he’s so happy. 
(Y/N is, too. She’s over the moon, with the way gratitude feels like it fills up her body in a way she’s never experienced before. And she knows she’s awful at expressing her feelings, but when she glances back up at Harry, eyes twinkling with a healthy blush over her cheeks and a smile on her lips, he knows. He just knows.)
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lvnleah · 1 month
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Protective Love | Lia Wälti
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Based on this request! :)
Summary: Reader gets injured during a game against Man United after a bad tackle, Lia is the first at her side when she goes down. Lia stays by the readers side. Lots of fluff!!
Notes: haven’t really read this through so please be kind! Also a short one <33
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Getting injured whilst playing your absolute best was every football player's worst idea. You were playing against Man United, thirty minutes in and you were playing your best game that you’d played in a long time.
Arsenal were 1-0 down, Man United getting an early goal six minutes in. Beth Mead passed you the ball, you were getting closer and closer to the next. Millie Turner slide tackled you, taking the ball from straight under your feet.
You landed funny, instantly feeling your ankles crack right underneath you. Strings of curse words fell from your mouth as your body hit the ground. You instantly grabbed you ankle, holding it to try and ease the pain.
The whistle blew, signalling for the game to come for a stop. The crowd's cheers dulled to a concerned murmur as you lay on the pitch, pain radiating from your ankle after a rough tackle. Your teammates huddled around, but it was Lia's face that came into focus above you — her eyes wide with worry.
"Hey, you're going to be okay," Lia said, her voice steady despite the panic you saw in her eyes. She knelt beside you, her hand gently brushing your face. “What hurts, love?”
“Ankle.” You cried, not being able to take the pain as you groaned into the ground, “I felt it crack.”
The medics rushed over, and as they assessed your injury, Lia never left your side. Her hand gently brushed the hair from your forehead.
Lia was your girlfriend of eight months, you’d been friends for around four years and your feelings had only grown over that time. You were flirty friends ever since you’d join Arsenal in January 2019.
Lia hadn’t been at the club long so the pair of you bonded over both being new. At the time you were both in relationships, you had a girlfriend of 3 years and Lia had just celebrated her 1 year anniversary with hers.
Around a year ago, both of your relationships ended and you both moved in with each other. Your feelings for each other grew and grew and one evening you confessed them before asking Lia to be your girlfriend. You hadn��t looked back since that day.
Once the medics had stabilised your ankle, Lia helped you to your feet, acting as your crutch.
"I've got you," she murmured, her tone leaving no room for argument. The protective glint in her eyes told you that she didn’t want to hear your stubbornness.
As you hobbled off the field, leaning heavily on Lia, you couldn't help but feel a warmth that had nothing to do with the injury. It was the warmth of being cared for, the warmth of Lia's unwavering presence. Something you’d never felt on this level before.
You reached the dugouts and the medics took you down to the physio room. Despite not wanting to, Lia returned to the pitch and carried on with the game.
The physio room was a sterile, fluorescent-lit space tucked away beneath the stadium. You sat on the examination table, your broken ankle propped up on a cushion. The pain had dulled slightly, but every movement sent a sharp reminder of the injury up your leg.
The physio further assessed your injury, she examined your ankle, prodding gently and asking about the pain. You winced as she touched the swollen joint, and she nodded in confirmation.
"Definitely a break," she said. "We'll need to get you to the hospital for an X-ray."
You nodded, knowing that recovery was going to be a long process and your season was going to be cut short. Your heart shattered, you’d been playing your best and you felt like everything around you was crumbling down and you couldn’t do anything about it.
Half time came and Lia rushed into the room the room, “My love, you okay?” She asked, concern written all over her face.
“Broken ankle.” You sniffed, Lia wiping your tears from under your eyes, “Need an X-Ray but they think it’s broken.”
“Oh my love, I’m so sorry, we’ll get through this together okay?” Lia reassured you, sitting down on the physio bed next to you.
You spent the next few minutes cuddled together, your head resting on Lia’s chest as your teammates popped in and out to check on you.
“I can’t believe she did that and all she got was a yellow card!” Lia raged, her hands running through your head.
“Babe, it’s okay.” You sighed, “it was a simple mistake from Millie.”
“Still!” The brunette said, throwing her hands up in the air, “you were playing so well and now you’re out for probably the rest of the season!”
At the hospital, the X-rays confirmed the break. You were fitted with a cast, and Lia sat beside you, her thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand. She didn't leave your side, not even when you got home and she immediately ordered you to bed.
"You're stuck with me," Lia said, running her hands through your hair as you cuddled into her side. "At least until you're back on your feet."
You smiled, despite the pain throbbing in your ankle. "I wouldn't have it any other way." You tilted your head back slowly and kissed Lia’s lips softly.
The weeks of healing and rehab soon started. The first few weeks were spent in bed, Lia brought you books, snacks, and her company. She even learned how to make a decent cup of tea, which was no small feat for someone who had previously forgotten to put the teabag into the cup and just gave you milk.
As your ankle slowly mended, it took longer than the average break and you missed the rest of the games that season. You attended every match, supporting your teammates from the stand.
One good thing about your injury was that you and Lia became closer than ever. As she played the role of nurse, your love for her grew. You became closer than ever and you were just thankful that you had Lia beside you, holding your hand every step of the way.
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trynafindbarbiee · 1 year
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VOID SUCCESS STORY <3
TW : Abusive family, bullying, suicide attempts!
Before I go straight into my success story I wanna THANKYOU from the bottom of my heart you are my fairy Angel and I love you more than anyone else bestiee :)
I'm sharing this here so everyone can see this
It's been so long since I've joined loa community but I always failed to manifest Consciously , I would constantly look for the 3D to change and I literally wasted years to learn how to manifest when it's the most easiest thing in the whole universe. Then luckly I came to know about the void state but I kept on failing I was unhealthy obsessed with the void with this my mental health became even worse I started to feel like not living anymore. I felt anxious very often, then one day I decided to end my life because things were getting terrible everyday. I attempted suicide and it failed and then the very first thing someone told me after this was "it failed because you deserve to live, you deserves the best, you deserves the world" And guess who it was! SHE WAS MY FAIRY ANGEL 🥺 YOU! MY BESTIEE <3 I'm very thankful to have a friend like you
What I've learnt over time is that these feelings are definitely not permanent and this too shall pass YES it hurts and survival feels difficult but the hope I got from my bestie (Barbie) throughout my recovery process is just unmatched, unexplainable especially for someone like me who keeps thinking that things will never get better. At the same time I was living in a abusive household I was being hated by my parents, friends, neighbours And one day IT'S nowhere near as bad as what you'll get, but my mom had a small amount of narcissist in her. SHE HELD MY HAND OVER A GAS STOVE because as an 15 year old I wrote something that she disagreed with in my journal. I experienced violence with my mother and father beating each other. Seeing drugs being used and knowing that there was something bad and wrong. I also seen my mother having sex with other men and once heard her having sex and I thought she was being beaten.As I got older, I began questioning her medieval methods. Whenever I brought it up, She would always say that she did it for my own good, or that she was showing me how the real world was like. As a baby, I was ferberized. I was sent to a daycare from the moment I could walk. My mother would often punch and slap me in the face, and so I developed a reflex where I put my hands near my head in defense if anyone raises their hands. I have been bullied and ridiculed.
I have overconsumed info to a point where I even started doubting bloggers and loa but then I met my fairy Angel, my life, my bestieeeee 🥺💗 Everyone, let me tell you all of you one thing that she's a real life Angel I swear! She was there with me when my own family was against me, she helped me through my toughest times, she never let me down, she took care of me like a big sister. I'M BLESSED TO HAVE A FREIND LIKE YOU CUTIE PIE <3! we started journey together and she entered the void but I was still struggling. When she messaged me telling that she did it I literally jumped out of my bed and cried, cried and cried I WAS SO HAPPY FOR HER. I got superrrr motivated after that so I took her advice and tried to enter the void once more but I still failed, I didn't enterbut she kept me motivated . She showed me the things and her mansion that she manifested so that I don't doubt void anymore and I'm so grateful to you for that . She told me to try to wake up in the void instead of entering I again listened her and tried and guess what! SHAMEFULLY I again failed , I was giving my power to a method, I didn't realize how powerful I AM.
After all the failed attempts I called Barbie and talked to her for 4 hours straight I told her all the things that were going on in my life and I cried a lot and even Barbie got emotional too and she cried for me I can't forget that day ever 🙂 she told me "Don't worry honey! It's never too late, I'll enter void for you and after that you will be free of all this bullshit" THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY LIKE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THISSSSSSS :) she already did so much for me and still she wanted to help me out, this is why I call you my Fairy Angel <3
And next day she did enter for me and affirmed that I'll wake up in the void but in the morning nothing happened I realized that I didn't woke up there I GOT SO DISCOURAGED and I told this to her and she said that I have to assume that I'll wake up in the void unless it will not work 🙁 I literally Slapped myself for doing such a stupid thing Not assuming that I'll wake up in the void :( But she again entered for me and again affirmed for me Like? How can someone be so nice?
AND THAT NIGHT I DID WOKE UP IN THE VOID 😩💗 I felt so relaxed there, I was in a whole dark space I manifested everything that I wrote in my journal , I was beyond happy that morning when I woke up in my dream apartment the first thing I did after seeing myself in my dream house was that I messaged barbie that WE DID IT 🥺 !!
Y'all are very lucky to have my bestie here , I love you honey, ily so much <3 God literally sent you for me
Sending you so much love, hugs and wet kisses 🤭
~ your beloved 🎀
The most beautiful SUCCESS STORY I ever saw !
Thankyou bub for sharing your story here too ♡
My eyes got wet while I was reading this :) like you are so sweet and strong! ily too and I always will and no need to thank me..Your life was exactly like mine bef I entered the void , I also experienced all this bullshit so I could understand your situation that's why I helped you so, no need to thank me 💗 You should thank yourself bc everytime u felt like ending ur life , everytime u felt like giving up YOU made it through... so thank youself honey ! <3 I'M SO PROUD YOU MAHH BESTIEEE
You also played a vital role in my journey !
I've been through a lot. I have been through things that I didn't even told u . I have been through things that I haven't told anyone . Because of the things that I've been through, I used have an EXTREMELY hard time trusting people. I used to overthink abt how to talk to you and share my feelings without making you feel bad or you thinking I'm dramatic. I don't know how to talk to you without it being awkward but not only u listened me but motivated me also even when u r going through the toughest time in ur life.... Yes I have so many friends But you r someone special , I love you differently than I love my any other friend. Yes we've been through hell. And it's been insane. But still we are together! ily ♡
Idk how do I put my happiness into words :) I'M JUST SO PROUD OF YOU
Enjoy ur life to the max <3
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bonkhrnyjail · 2 months
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sweet plum | chapter six
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masterlist | pinterest | spotify playlist
pairing: pedro pascal x fem!reader (plus size)
summary: the last of us wrap party is tonight, and the tension between you and pedro can no longer be ignored…
rating: mature (will become explicit in future chapters)
warnings: alcohol consumption, mild sexual content
a/n: THANK U GUYS FOR THE LOVE ON CHAPTER FIVE omg. i’m kicking myself for not posting this fic on tumblr sooner! pls enjoy chapter six and feel free to not analyze what our lovely reader’s actions might say about me as an author or my relationship to conflict <3 love y’all.
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You’ve been avoiding Pedro like the fucking plague.
Sixty missed calls. Even twenty texts, and off the top of your head you can't remember the last time he actually texted you. The calls became less frequent as the weeks passed, but he still tries at least once every day. You silence them every time.
The day you kissed him, he tried to call you ten times in a row, unbeknownst to you. You had thrown your phone across the living room the second you made it through the door and laid completely catatonic on your bed until your roommate got home.
“Babe, you’ll never guess who I saw last night— Are you good?” she inquired nonchalantly as she entered your room to find you face down in your mound of stuffed animals.
Droplets began to prickle the corners of your eyes as you let out a muffled groan in response. Your mouth wasn’t capable of words, the fat, dry lump in your throat stubborn and unyielding, forcing you to clench your teeth around nothing. A hand landed softly on your shoulder.
“Woah, hey,” she started to rub your arm up and down as a full body sob rippled through you. "Talk to me."
You looked up at her, tears rolling fast and hot down the apples of your cheeks, and threw yourself into her chest.
“I- I- I did something st-stupid,” you managed between sobs. 
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” she tried to reassure you gently, smoothing down your hair. “Unless you accidentally shaved some of Pedro’s hair off or something. I’m sure he’d forgive you anyways, though.”
You tried to form words against the sobs clawing their way out of your chest.
“Bad, Abby. Like, r-really bad.”
“Well shit. What’s the damage?” she spoke somewhat brashly, which was nothing new when it came to her attempts at being gentle. “Do I have to kill somebody? ‘Cause I will, I've been playing a lot of first person shooter, I can handle it.”
Laughter overtook your cries, although whatever sounds were coming from your throat were a horrifying mixture of both. Abby chuckled at the sound. You continued like that for a while, laughing and crying and laughing again, until the tears finally stopped.
“Can you tell me what happened?” she blurted as a soberness enveloped her tone. “I’m sure I can come up with a solution. You know I’m crafty.”
“Do you know how to erase memories?” you mumbled as you sat up straight. “That’s the only solution I can think of.”
“No… but I own a bat. Blunt force trauma is a pretty surefire solution.”
“Jesus… not to Pedro.”
“Did you, like, shit yourself or something?” she blundered, immediately biting down on her lip after the words left her mouth. “Sorry, no, this is serious. Serious time.”
You let out a gargantuan sigh as you stared fervently into your lap.
“... I kissed him.”
“You WHAT?” she grabbed your shoulders and shook you aggressively. “YOU WHAT?!”
“I—”
“WHAT? HOW? WHEN?” she shrieked, piercing the hell out of your eardrums.
“I kissed him, on the lips, on the doorstep.” 
“ON THE DOORSTEP?!” she flailed her arms, slapping your shoulders in the process. “AND I MISSED IT?!”
“You’re hurting me.”
“WAS IT GOOD? IS HE A GOOD KISSER?”
“Can we use our inside voices?”
“FUCK— ok, sorry,” she mellowed, blowing air through raspberried lips. “Why are you so upset? I thought you wanted this to happen!”
“I... I did. And didn’t. It’s complicated,” you babbled through your frustration. “I just… kissed him. I didn’t think, or ask, and I can’t take it back.”
“Well, did he kiss you back?”
“Uh… I...” you muttered hesitantly. "I think so."
Abby sprung from your bed, squealing and dancing as her fists punched awkwardly into the air. The sight alone made you cackle.
“OK- so, what happened after that? Did he confess his love to you?” 
“Jesus christ… no, that’s not what happened,” you groaned. “I sorta... ran away.”
“You WHAT?!”
“Oh god, please don’t kill me,” you whined. “I didn’t know what to do, I only realized what I had done after I had done it and I fuckin' panicked. He tried to grab my hand but I ran inside as fast as I could.”
“Dude, you have got to be kidding me,” her tone went flat, eyes laced with disappointment. “Where's your phone?”
“I don’t know, I threw it across the living room when I got up here. I was kinda freaking out.”
Abby immediately jumped off of the bed and started toward the door to your room, despite your insistent pleas to leave it be. She came storming back inside moments later.
“10 missed calls. 10 MISSED CALLS,” she pointed aggressively to your lock screen displaying the missed notifications. “Look, he even texted you.”
You snatched the phone out of her hand, shoving it under your pillow. “I can’t… I can’t right now.”
“If he didn’t want this, he wouldn’t call you that many times, and he definitely wouldn't have kissed you back," she trailed off for a moment, some sort of realization sparking behind her eyes. "Wait, did he get you those flowers on the kitchen counter?”
“I- yes. Just because I helped him out today last minute.”
“No, not because you helped him out last minute. Flowers from a man mean one of three things. Number one, congrats. Number two, condolences. And number three, please have sex with me.”
“Jesus,” you giggled. “And what does it mean if he brought me a coffee too?”
“Your usual?”
“...Yes.”
“Please have sex with me and be my wife forever and ever.”
You rolled your eyes and flopped back into your pillows, covering your face with your hands and groaning. Abby sat with you for a while, but eventually gave up, knowing damn well that you're to stubborn and you'd make your own decisions regarding the whole situation. She knew she never stood a chance to change your mind anyways.
The days passed, slowly at first, but eventually you found your way back to a steady rhythm. You went to work, saw your friends, read a lot, and spent practically zero time on your phone. Impressive how avoidance managed to cure your social media addiction. 
You'd pushed it out of your head that you’d have to see Pedro in a few weeks. Then the weeks turned to a week, then to a few days, then to a day.
You woke up this morning and it all came crashing down.
The wrap party is tonight. Then the premiere tomorrow. Everyone is going. You couldn’t get away with skipping it if you tried. Bella would probably storm into your apartment and drag you out by the hair.
You haven’t even told Bella about the kiss.
You end up lying in bed for hours, watching video after video on Youtube to silence your racing thoughts. You had set an alarm on your phone earlier to remind you when to start getting ready, and it frightens the hell out of you, jolting you from a groggy haze of half-sleep. You curse under your breath and roll lazily onto your feet, your blankets crumpling to a pathetic-looking pile on the floor. 
You power up your speaker and choose some music, an upbeat and catchy playlist to try and redirect your energy. The upside in all of this is that you can get all dolled up. It gives you an excuse for extensive self-pampering and wearing outfits that mostly collect dust in your closet. 
An everything shower is an understatement of what you have planned. You have your products lined up, various scrubs, masks, body washes, etc, and a fresh razor sitting right beside them. You crank the faucet on, just a hair below the boiling point, and step into the tub.
The steam coats your lungs as you inhale deep, the sudden sensation of the water colliding with your skin sending a stark chill down your body. As you close your eyes, leaning your head back and letting your hair fall into the steady stream, your focus slips to a corner of your mind, the pesky corner that you've tried desperately to keep locked away. Because once the thoughts start, it’s damn near impossible to wrangle them back in.
The fantasy is vivid. You can almost feel Pedro’s hands in your hair, massaging shampoo slowly and intentionally from behind you. He’s close, his bare body pressed to your back, his skin hot and pulsing against yours. He leans you back to rinse the product from your hair, pressing a small kiss to your forehead as he squeezes your shoulder softly. 
“Mmmm,” he hums, trailing languid, open-mouth kisses across your cheek and down your neck. “My sweet plum.”
A faint voice in the back of your mind is shouting wildly, trying to stop the scene from playing out in your head, but it's not enough to break through the noise.
He runs his hands down the front of your body, gently tracing your curves and valleys, finger-painting your skin with adoration. Your head falls back into him as his kisses grow deeper, longer, more desperate, him hardening against you as his gentle caresses turn to needy grasps. 
“Let me… please,” you whisper into his ear, snaking your hand behind you and running your palm against the underside of his shaft. His body presses harder into yours as he lets out a soft grunt of approval directly in your ear, the vibration of it surging straight to your core.
A jolt of cold water shocks your body, tearing you from your fantasy. You come to and find yourself leaning against the wall of the shower, your ass having knocked the knob to the coldest setting. 
“Christ,” you mutter under your breath, cranking the control back to where it was and reaching for your overpriced shampoo bottle. 
You go through the motions of the rest of your shower, losing yourself in the music and singing along as you always do. Shower concerts have been your most recent replacement for the therapy that you can't quite afford.
You paint your toes, your leg hoisted up precariously on the counter and torso bent over to reach as your fuzzy robe dangles from your hips. You choose an eggplant purple, matching the accents in your dress. The press-ons that you found are a damn-near perfect match to this color, with a swirling design decorating the tips of the almond shape. 
The dress is more of a dainty feminine than you typically go for. You generally gravitate towards sultry colors and styles, but the cut of this dress instantly drew your attention. A plunging neckline with miniscule gold buttons decorating the front. Beneath the bust, a sheer panel with corset boning outlines the waist, and the remainder of the skirt flows heavily, the hem sitting perfectly at your ankles. It reminds you of a Free People style dress, but in your size. Hallelujah.
With a feel-good playlist booming through your speaker, your makeup goes on quick and easy. A thick, black wing smoked out with a deep purple and a subtle, black cherry sheer lip. Everything else you keep fairly light and natural, letting the boldness of the eye do the talking.
You pull your hair up into a bun, making sure the dress is the center of attention. You leave a few, short pieces out and curl them, creating the sense of a haphazard version of a Victorian era updo. After donning some simple gold jewelry and your Mary Janes, the outfit is complete. You throw on an oversized brown blazer just to keep you warm, but you’ll likely take it off the moment you get to the party.
Your uber arrives moments later, somehow exactly as you descend the stairs outside your building. Your driver, an older man named Mario, gets out and shakes your hand as he introduces himself and his very nice BMW named Maria.
You've never met anyone quite this aggressively Italian.
The good-natured man even asks if you'd like to pick the music for the ride. You choose something that you hope the both of you will like: ABBA.
“This was popular when I was your age!” he gushes, the gravel and rasp in his voice more audible than the actual pitch. 
“ABBA is absolutely timeless,” you chime, adding a few more songs to the queue.
You chat the whole ride there, his jovial presence somehow working away some of the knots of anxiety in your stomach. He asks all about your work, thankfully steering clear of who you work with, and even prodding you for styling tips for his “thick and unruly” curls. 
He pulls up to the entrance, stopping near a hoard of your coworkers from the crew crowded amongst the steps to the double doors. You exchange goodbyes with Mario and slide out of the car into the brisk air, your blazer draped over your shoulders and doing a very ineffective job of retaining any of your body heat. You hear a shriek of joy emerge from the blob of people in front of you, followed by your name in the same cadence. Most of the heads you can see turn to face you, arms reaching out for hugs and smiles as far as you can see. 
You’re going to make this a good night. No matter what.
.   .   .   .   .
It’s significantly warmer inside the venue, so you decided to drop your jacket at the coat check. It’s much more crowded than you expected, but then again, everyone was invited. Some of your friends from makeup even made the trip from New York to be here. Since you’ve never been to one of these before, jokes keep getting thrown around along the lines of “Baby’s first wrap party!" and you losing your wrap party virginity. The group dynamics from the days on set settle right back into a rhythm, your place as the baby of the group still yours for the taking. You don’t mind the coddling, as it seems to help keep your mind off of the inevitable. 
There’s a slurry of waiters dipping and dodging amongst clusters of bodies, hors d'oeuvres and drinks displayed gorgeously on shiny golden platters. Someone’s arm is dragging you towards the open bar across the dance floor, where a herd has already begun to form. A slew of voices and faces pass you by as you travel swiftly through the crowd, and you’re unable to make out anything distinct amongst the clamor.
Until you hear his voice.
That familiar boom of laughter, crisp and thunderous, crystal clear amongst the hundreds of noises up against it. You immediately whip your head around to locate the source, forgetting your hand is in the grips of your friend and nearly snapping her limb off in the process. She lunges forward into you, nearly knocking your hors d’oeuvres plate from your hand and garnering the attention of several people surrounding you.
You somehow stumble back to balance and a very attentive waiter quickly swipes the mostly finished plate from your hands. The swiftness of everything is making you dizzy, sounds and sights swirling in the warm glow of the gorgeous chandelier decorating the space above you. With every turn of your head, the crowd in front of you shifts to blurry outlines of colors and shapes, like ink bleeding from the hard lines where people should begin and end. 
Suddenly you feel arms wrapping around your waist and squeezing your organs to a pulp.
“Who-” you look down to see two small hands with black painted nails. “Is that my Bellie?”
A head pops into your peripheral with a wide, toothy smile. You let out a little shriek as your arms envelop them and squeeze, lifting them off the ground a bit with the sheer force of it.
“I missed you so much—'' you pause, taking in their presence once more. “Look at you! You look amazing!”
“I look amazing?” They toy gently with the skirt of your dress. “You look amazing!”
You embrace once more, the excitement of seeing them in person completely overriding your ability to control the gleeful noises escaping your body. They pull away, your hands still gripping each other’s elbows.
“Have you seen P? I know he’s already here,” they pull their phone out of their back pocket, his location pulled up on Find My Friends. 
“Oh, uh… I— I haven’t yet,” you hear your voice quickly morph into a downbeat tone against your will. 
“Uh oh,” they blurt. “Why is your face doing that? Did something happen?”
“I- uh…” you stumble over a sad attempt at words, muttering unintelligible syllables. “Well—”
Your train of thought comes to a screeching halt as he appears through a sliver in the crowd.
And, god, he looks handsome as ever. A nice, nice white suit clings ever so perfectly to his muscular, statuesque frame. The collar is folded neatly against his strong, thick neck, a few subtle veins protruding softly from his caramel skin. His dimples are on full display as he throws his head back with laughter, the little heart-shaped patch in his beard perfectly prominent. 
Bella follows your gaze until they see him. They call out his name and wave him down on their tiptoes. He immediately clocks the voice, and you watch as the small smile on his face spreads to a wide grin. He excuses himself from his current conversation and starts towards your direction.
Your stomach drops. You quickly survey around you to find that there is no clear escape, there are clusters of people surrounding you on each side and no pockets that you could gracefully slip into to weave your way through the crowd. For better or worse, you’re trapped.
He quickly scoops Bella into a bear hug, his arms enveloping their small frame in it's entirety. He spins them around, their feet dangling, hovering just above the floor. You stand there, frozen, little bunches of your dress clumped up in your tight, fidgeting fists. The fabric rolls between your thumb and forefinger, a haphazard attempt at soothing the anxiety surging through your veins.
It takes him a minute to acknowledge your presence, and with every second that passes, your urge to bolt revs in your belly.
Once his gaze meets yours, a soft, forgiving smile paints across his lips. You force the corners of your mouth upwards, attempting to create what hopefully appears like an expression of joy. Hopefully.
“Hi.”
It comes out more like a sigh when he says it, like it’s been pounding at his chest, just waiting to be released. His hand lays flat on his abdomen as he taps his pointer finger repeatedly. The muscles in his neck flex, creating movement in the collar of his shirt.
He’s nervous. You know him well enough to know that, and you know you’re likely not hiding your true state very well either. He knows you just as well.
You try to respond.  The air you've been holding prisoner in your lungs tumbles out, catching in your throat.  A feeble, "H-hi," is all you can manage.
“You look…” his eyes wander your body, your face, your hair, his lips parted ever so slightly. “You look lovely.”
The statement reverberates in your mind until you hear a distant call of your name. A quick turn of your head finds your favorite hairstylist waving you down.
“I—” you swallow and start over. “Thank you. Thanks. I—, sorry, I gotta—” you motion toward your destination with your thumb before decidedly turning and slipping through the crowd, a copious amount of polite little statements slipping off your tongue in order to get out of sight and away from him.
.   .   .   .   .
“So… what the fuck was that?” Bella states gruffly, sitting opposite of you at a small high top table, tucked away in a quieter room off of the main ballroom. “That was, like, painful.”
You let out a small groan, knowing you’d have to tell them at some point, but dissenting the fact that the time for that confession seems to be right this very second.
“I kinda… I fucked things up between us.”
“I doubt that,” they say reassuringly.
“No, seriously, I—” you stop yourself mid-sentence to catch your breath. “I kissed him, Bel.”
They let out a satisfied chuckle.
“Well thank god. It’s about goddamn time.”
“No, no you don’t understand,” you babble. “I kissed him without thinking, realized what I did, and ran.”
“Ohhhh my g—” they blow a raspberry. “Ok. Well. When was this?”
“Like… a month ago?”
“A month?!”
“I haven’t spoken to him since.”
“Jesus christ… I’m assuming he’s tried to call you, yes?”
“Pretty much every single day since it happened,” your words come out more sigh than pitch.
Bella rubs their temples, an incomprehensible expression on their face.
“Gosh, it feels like mom and dad are fighting.”
That makes you snort laugh, to your own surprise.
“Well clearly he’s not angry at you. And you can’t avoid him forever,” they reason, their bluntness somehow comforting, unraveling the little knot sitting in your gut. “I wish you two would just put all your cards on the table. Worst comes to worst, things don’t work out.”
“I just really don’t want to lose him, Bellie,” you mumble into your drink.
“You will if you don’t talk to him,” they quip right back, eyes stern and decided.
You know they’re right. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you know.
“I’ll talk to him. Tomorrow. Tonight is supposed to be fun.”
“Fair enough. Now, come dance with me.” they hop to their feet and extend a hand.
You take it with a smile, and within a mere second they’re whisking you towards the dance floor.
.   .   .   .   .
You’ve had 3 drinks. Three strong drinks. On a stomach with only a few bite sized hors d'oeuvres to soak up the copious amount of gin in your system. 
And it’s helping, sure. Helping you forget momentarily that Pedro is probably within 100 feet of you at any given moment. Helping your breath move in and out the way it’s supposed to, without catching on threads of worry webbed inside your lungs. Helping to loosen the knots that riddled your body when you got here.
But it’s also making you dizzy. 
Dizzy enough that you’re not quite sure when you end and others begin. It’s all lights and laughter and limbs, filling your senses to the brim. The corners of your vision have a little haze to them, a haze that’s starting to grow inward.
You stumble your way out of the hoard, searching for the nearest corner to tuck yourself away in for a moment. A friend hollers after you, asking if you’re alright.
“I’m good! Just got the spins,” you reassure her. “I’ll be back.”
A little awning reveals itself to you in a narrow sightline through the crowd. You follow the slender gap without a second thought. Once you reach the end, you find a dimly lit hallway with an emergency exit sign illuminating a sturdy black door. You steady yourself on a railing and lean your weight into the wall, your head bowed slightly and shoulders rounded.
The pattern on the carpet sways in your vision as you let yourself hang for a moment, releasing tension from your upper body and pushing your feet firmly into the floor as some attempt at grounding. After a moment, you decide to take your shoes off in hopes it will inspire your body to feel more “at one with gravity”.
The sound of booming bass still accosts your ears, but more muffled now, and the sound waves flow through you, perfectly in time with the beating of your heart. It isn’t until your name is spoken the third time that you really hear it.
Your eyes shoot up to find Pedro, a worried, scrunched brow on his face and a bottle of water in his hand. 
“Oh- um…” you stammer. You continue to fight for the right words, any words, until he cuts you off.
“Drink this,” he twists the cap and gently places the bottle into your right hand. “I haven’t seen you take a sip of water the entire night. No wonder you’re dizzy.”
A moment of confusion clouds you, but you quickly remember that you shouted over the blaring music for all to hear of your current state. Your voice can be quite head-turning with a lack of inhibition. You obey his word and take a swig from the bottle, the crisp, cold water relentless against your sensitive teeth. The temperature is a visceral opposite to the flush of your face, causing you to furrow your brow slightly as it travels down your esophagus. 
He lets out a chuckle as he scans your expression.
“Cold?”
You produce an affirmative grumble and try to pass the bottle to him, but he gently pushes it back towards your chest. 
“Have some more.”
Your eyes flutter under the softness of his gaze. You try to gulp down the dry seed in you throat.
“Pedro, I—”
“We don’t have to talk about it right now.”
“Bella told me I have to talk to you,” you admit, your chin tucked and stare driving into the carpet, whispering in a way that sounded more like you were reminding yourself than telling him.
It makes him laugh, releasing that sweet, boisterous sound and it's accompanying smile you missed so dearly.
“Taking orders from Bellie now, eh?”
“They can be a bit militant when push comes to shove, to be honest,” a puff of air passes through your nose as a smirk tugs at your lips, your eyes glued to the floor. "'Specially if I'm being an idiot."
You take a few more sips of water and Pedro shifts to stand beside you, kicking his foot up with his back flat against the wall. Neither of you speak, only the sounds of your breath filling the space between you. 
You both inhale at the same time, as though you are both about to speak. 
“F—sorry, y-you go,” you gulp, though your mouth is bone dry.
He lets his exhale escape through puckered lips, and you watch as his hiked up chest deflates. His hand sits flat against the first button of his suit jacket as he thumbs at the lapel.
“I’ve spent the past month in agony, you know.”
You gaze up at his face, his eyes fixed on the glint in his freshly-shined shoes. He rolls his bottom lip through his teeth nervously, the hue of the skin shifting from an off-white to a bitten pink as it’s released from the grip.
“Missing you…” he spoke softly. “Wanting to talk to you…”
Guilt spreads like a wildfire, scalding your throat.
“Pedro, I— I am so s—”
“Wanting nothing more than to kiss you again.”
The words kick the air from your lungs, your lips parting to make way as the muscles in your jaw give out entirely. He turns to face your visage, and you find his painted with an expression of pure yearning. His eyes have a sparkle to them, but not of joy. It’s more like a heat, a burning that seems almost painful to endure. The thick, inescapable tension wraps itself hermetically around your neck.
“I— You didn’t even give me a chance to kiss you back.”
Before you can even process the words, the clinking of glasses sounds in the distance. Through the muffled shouting you hear a strained attempt at organizing a drunken group photo.
“We should probably…” you floppily gesture towards the ballroom, the alcohol seemingly turning your bones a bit soft and pliable. “Can we talk about this after the party? I'd like to be a little more sober if I can help it.”
“Right, uh—” he adjusts his tie slightly, insecurely clearing his throat. “After the party. I can do that.”
“I promise,” you assure, though you’re acutely aware that he has very little reason to trust you, considering you avoided him for almost a month straight. You reach for his hand, the one that’s still fidgeting with his jacket, hopeful your touch will convey your sincerity in a way that your words can’t.
He smiles, somewhat forcibly. and offers his arm.
“Shall we?”
You make your way back to the crowd, observing with a small chuckle as a few people with phones in hand attempt to herd people left and right, trying to create some semblance of a formation. The two of you slip into the hoard easily, gliding right into a perfect little cranny to the left of the pointed cameras.
Pedro slides his arm around your waist as you pose, and you’re certain he can feel your raging pulse thumping through every vessel beneath your skin.
“Ok, now a funny one!” says one of the photographers.
You turn to each other, smiling and searching for an idea. Drunken and foolish, you take his arm and pretend to bite it. 
He lets out a hearty laugh before leaning into the “scene”, his face mocking an expression of terror. You have to stifle your giggles with an open mouth, which results in a strange, almost strangled sound escaping you. It only encourages his laughter, which encourages yours, and droplets form at the crest of your eyes as you wait for the signal to drop the pose.
“Got it!” someone blurts across the ballroom.
“Sorry about that,” you guide his arm back to his side, giving it a gentle pat into place. “These hors d'oeuvres just made me hungrier.”
You laugh at your own joke, snorting on the inhale, and you look up to see his smile, wide and gleaming, the bounciest part of his cheeks sporting a salmon-pink hue. 
A distant voice calls for Pedro, hollering something about an actors-only picture, and he turns his head to find the source. You grab his hand before he starts towards them.
“Call me, ok? After the party,” you gently squeeze at his wrist. “I promise I’ll answer this time.”
He nods, his sickly sweet smile punctuated with picture-perfect dimples. He turns his back to you and weaves his way through the crowd. 
.   .   .   .   .
You finally made your way out of the coat check line after a grueling twenty minutes of needing to pee but not wanting to give up your spot in line. You’re standing outside the entrance now, the brisk air nipping at your bare ankles. You idly pull out your phone to find two text notifications from Pedro.
The first is an address, with a unit number. Los Angeles. You recognize the street name.
The second message reads:
I just got home. Buzz me when u get here. :) 
You almost start to skim through the unread messages he’d sent you since that night, but you’re quickly derailed by another buzz.
Pedro Pascal sent you $100. Description: for your ride.
You laugh out loud, amused by his overestimation of the price, but nevertheless stunned by his unfailing thoughtfulness. You start towards the stairs, your nerves burning and buzzing, entirely uncertain and out of control of what the evening holds.
. . . . .
187 notes · View notes
ddoxhan · 11 months
Text
that summer
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draw me in your world, as you let yourself into mine let me be your safe haven, for I love when you shine
word count : 4.8k words
genre : fluff with a tinge of angst; your typical summer love story but haerin does not feel the same way you do for her?; runner! haerin x literature student! fem!reader; you are an overthinker and sometimes just wish you stop thinking
t/w : none :)
a/n : this is the longest i've ever written for a oneshot and honestly, i didn't want to split it up cause i wanted yall to feel the whole thing at one go. enjoy !
"haerin-ah, wait up!"
"you're just slow! we're gonna be late if we don't hurry!"
you swore you needed to wake up earlier to avoid having to rush to school, especially when haerin waits for you every day to walk together. at this point, the two of you had been running to class for three days in a row now, not walk. to your surprise, the girl has never complained or grumbled about how you would make her almost miss the bell. but then again, she's always been like that. haerin was never someone who wouid let out her anger on you or anyone in general. you've never seen her get angry, concluding that she just doesn't know how to.
the said girl turned her head around while not faltering in her rushed steps, making sure you're keeping up with her speed. but the thing is, she's the school's top runner and you barely pass your required tests for physical education. haerin knows, which was why she opted to drag you along by your hand. the sudden grab left you slightly taken aback. well, slight is an understatement, you were very taken aback. especially when you have the most obvious crush on her.
you've always had a crush on haerin ever since you were 12. it just happened so when she saved you from some bullies, aka silly boys, running away from them as you two rest at the neighbourhood playground after. she sat you on the swing while you cried in both fear and relief. but all the fear washed away when she flashed you a smile that you never forgot till this day. the way her eyes curved up and her snaggletooth showed with that big smile of hers, that's when you fell for her.
as you busied yourself in your own world, you once again arrived at the school gate right before they closed it off, with some students sighing at how they missed it by a split second behind it. a slow realization hit that you've ran to your limit, you tried taking deep breaths but it might have made it worse. sometimes you wished you were more athletic, for these kind of situations, and also to spend more time with haerin if you were in the track and field team.
"hey, try breathing with both your nose and mouth, it can help."
the girl in front of you looks unfazed, as if she just went for a relaxing morning jog. which isn't entirely wrong as you don't live too far from school. you stand up straight again, doing what she told you to. it actually did help but as she glanced at her watch, you understood what it meant.
"go on, don't be late for class because of me."
"it's fine, there's still some time. I'll go with you."
although you were very sure classes starts in 3 minutes, you didn't argue further as it just meant you get to spend more time although it's just minutes. when the two of you were put into different classes, the time spent together reduced drastically plus haerin's training after class on some days. it was just lunch and maybe weekends if she didn't have extra training. but you felt bad for wanting her to spend her only free day with you, so you try to refrain from jumping onto her bed during some weekends.
why is it so hard to just spend some time with her?
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lunch came. and that meant you get to see haerin again after the last time before classes started. at this point, you were just too infatuated with her that you were experiencing some sort of separation anxiety that you can't seem to quite explain. there's nothing you can do about it, you were just that in love with her.
but you did not guess for her to walk along to the cafeteria with him. him who? him, woonhak, the heartthrob who happens to be almost as good as haerin in the track and field team. everyone who sees them walking down the corridor would literally stop to look at how good they look together. it's to the point that they gush over the possible relationship they should have.
you were one of the people who'd look too, but you were always left slightly upset and heartbroken whenever you heard such comments. for sure, woonhak didn't do anything other than walk with her because he likes to ask and learn from haerin when it comes to running. there was no one to blame for your feelings except yourself. and at times, you just wished you could just like someone else cause the pain gets unbearable.
"hey froggie! how was class?"
it might sound like you're being selfish, but you wished haerin only ever smiles at you like that. that smile, the very same one you fell for and also the one that makes your heart clench a little. not to mention the nickname, it makes you feel as if she sees you nothing more than just a friend.
"the same. mr park is giving out work, again. I'm not surprised anyways."
"how about you?"
you swore you saw how her eyes sparkled a little when she started telling you about hers. but you don't feel that much good inside after.
"oh! you know woonhak right? him and I got chosen to be interviewed for a promotional video for the school."
"oh, him..."
"sorry, did you say something?"
"ah, yeah I know him."
"yup him, we agreed to meet on sunday to prepare ahead of the interview. I'm sorry if you wanted to come over."
"no don't be, it's fine. I can just work on mr park's project on sunday."
"but still, it feels weird that I won't be around."
"oh come on, it's literally just a few hours! and before you know it, you'll be back and I can come over if you want."
"this is why you're my best friend, I can always count on you."
well, that hurt a lot. you didn't know if it was intentional or just coincidental as she manages to throw your urge to confess out of the window every time it surfaces. all you could hope was that she didn't take notice of your feelings, or else you swear you'd never be able to face her again. the very last thing you need is for this friendship with her to shatter to the ground like glass. but you knew, the moment you fell for her, you were already walking on thin ice.
"what do they have for lunch today?"
"kimchi fried rice, today has your favourite strawberry milk."
picking up yours, you shaked it to tempt her to quickly go get hers and come have her food with you. and so she did.
whenever it came to her favourite food, she always looks like a cute little kitten who's hungry all the time. and when she spots them, she'd rush to get it and sit with you with an adorable smile plastered on her face as she eats or drinks away. you wish you were able to be someone who makes her that happy too, but along with those thoughts were the heavy consequences of your confession.
whatever you two have built throughout these many years will just shatter like glass, into fragile pieces that will not be able to be pieced together again. even if it could be pieced together again, nothing can stay the same.
for now, you'll keep it to yourself. nothing has shifted between you and haerin, so you shouldn't too.
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you have no idea what the hell you're doing right now. what kind of situation is this, you don't know.
"you told me we were gonna work on that project. as far as I know, this is not part of the project."
"I know, but just, we'll work on it after. for now, I just need you to accompany me."
"bro, this feels so illegal to be spying on someone."
"I'm just making sure that boy isn't doing anything to haerin."
"you know they're like the most shipped couple in school right? and woonhak's a really nice person."
"you never know."
all dani could do was roll her eyes at how dumb you look, she looks, with this so called disguise that barely covered their identity. she told you the shades were not it when it's practically indoors, and how it literally makes them stand out even more. at times like this, she questions herself why she's friends with you, and why she's willing to be in this with you. overall you were a great person, just not when you get too overprotective of the girl you love.
"if you're just gonna snoop around, you might as well just confess."
the moment you heard the word 'confess', the coffee you were drinking through your mouth came out through your nose. dani didn't know whether to laugh or help you wipe the table cause that was the reenactment of that 'the incredibles' meme of violet. maybe this was why she was friends with you.
"w-what do you mean?"
"you're too obvious to not notice each and every time you zoom out of class to have lunch with haerin. and zoom out again when the bell rings so you can head over to the gym hall to watch her practice."
"bro why didn't you tell me?!"
"tell you what? that you're like an idiot in love but the person you love doesn't seem to feel the same way?"
"I am not an idiot! but I definitely am in love..."
the mood suddenly shifted to somewhat gloomy as those words left your mouth. admitting that you had feelings for haerin to someone else for the first time didn't feel much extravagant than you thought. it wasn't that what you felt wasn't real or overwhelming, they very much were. but the thought of her not reciprocating them, broke you a little on the inside.
you've always imagined being by her side throughout university till the day you'd grow old and get a small house in the countryside. if it were the best friend context, things would have been fine. but you want to be there for her as someone she loves, too. as cheesy as it sounds, just the two of you against the world and no one can stop you.
reality begged to differ when you see how happy she is now as she picks up some clothes from the racks in a store. with woonhak smiling down at her. you couldn't deny that they look good together, way to good that it was believable if haerin told you they started dating after this date. the more you saw the two of them together, the more it was harder to imagine you being the one who would be making her happy.
although you've known her for so long, you weren't one to express your feelings through words. 'actions speak louder than words' was the motto you've lived with all this time. but this love thing takes more than that. being a literature student did not help with that vast range of vocabulary cause there was no point of preparing a confession. it has to come from the heart, and that's what makes it so hard.
"..."
"they left by the way."
your head whipped to the direction of the store they were in, and the last spot you saw them at was indeed empty.
"let's go then! you better saw where they are heading."
not even allowing dani to finish her chocolate drink, you dragged her along to chase after the two. they were definitely fast, very fitting to be in the track and field team. and dani did not sign up for this.
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in the end, dani had to drag you out of that mall before you ended up actually stalking those two poor souls. you were definitely not pleased with that decision but you two had a project to attend to, so you placed whatever that's disturbing to the back of your head. although it was sort of futile.
"well, at least we got half of this done, sorta."
"we can meet again tomorrow after school to finish it up if you want."
the australian squinted her eyes at you, as if trying to question your intention. she had the right to after what you pulled off today.
"for real, this time. I kinda want to get this over with and watch haerin practice."
"you better keep your promise."
giving a salute, all dani could do was chuckle at your attempt to lighten the mood with your antics. how can she not love someone like you when all you do was make everyone around you smile?
"hey, do you think it's possible that haerin would have feelings for me? even the slightest bit?"
"I don't see why not. you're a nice kid."
"the definition of nice is different for everyone, and so it is for me."
the older took a seat next to you on the bed, putting down her books on your study desk. when the topic about your feelings for haerin surface each time, you can't help but let your real self seep out a little, the happy-go-lucky facade faltering.
"you know, you don't have to be nice to be liked by anyone."
"but that doesn't mean I can be bad either."
"you know I don't mean it that way. it's just that, whether the person is nice or not, if you like them, you just do."
"that's true..."
it was feeling a little weird to talk about this with someone, but you were glad that it was dani. she was like an older sister figure that you could rely on whenever you needed her.
"you love haerin. and do you love her because she's nice? or because it's her?"
as you registered her words in your brain, you couldn't help but feel hopeful all over again, even after seeing those two at the mall today. maybe, they really are just friends. maybe, haerin does like you a little. maybe, you should confess.
you were so lost in your own thoughts that you couldn't feel the presence next to you, slowly clasping your hands. dani looked at you really endearingly, as if you were the person she cherished the most in the world.
"whatever you do, I'd be here to support, okay?"
giving her a reassuring nod and grin, dani's heart swelled at how your mood was lifted again. all she wants to see was you smile, regardless of who's behind it.
"FROGGIE!"
the shout from across your bedroom door grabbed your attention as your eyes darted towards it. as it swung open, the very person you two were talking about barged through to throw you into a hug. along with dani cause haerin knows her too.
"unnie! what are you doing here? the project?"
"hmm, we were just tidying up cause it's getting late."
the older slipped out from the embrace to finish packing her stuff to leave those two to their own world. maybe one day, she'd be able to find someone she loves too.
"bye unnie!"
"dani, I'll let you know what time tomorrow."
"yup sure, just ping me when you're done."
as dani left when she saw your thumbs up, you're tackled into another hug. you were wondering why she was being extra clingy after that date with woonhak. did woonhak confess to her? was she being shy about it? is she gonna tell you something? you were overthinking a lot of things and it wasn't a good sign cause that just means you're going to start doubting every single action haerin takes.
"I missed you."
you wish you would just disintegrate into dust at this very moment. everything that has happened today had already put your brain and feelings into overdrive. and for her to say this, made your heart feel heavier than ever. you didn't know why, it just didn't feel all that good although you did miss her too. but the words just can't seem to fall from your lips.
all you could do was look away and nod. because if you were to look at her, you think you are going to cry and confuse her even further.
"I should go shower first, it's been a long day."
"then we can cuddle!"
haerin slipped away from the embrace into your bathroom. with her belongings scattered around your room, it makes you feel even dizzier from all these crashing feelings. it's as if you are itching to confess to her or else you'd combust for real. that was why you could only keep your mouth shut, or everything would be over.
for now again, you try your best to act normal in front of her. for your own sake, for her sake, and to keep this friendship the way it has been this whole time.
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everything went on like normal. you and dani wrapped up that damn project mr park gave, having lunch with haerin every day, spending your time watching her practice, hanging out every weekend. but as haerin's competition was approaching, she spends more time at the gym hall, even during weekends at times. you can't blame her when she's the top in her team.
this competition was utmost important for her as many big companies scout at this particular one. meaning that if she does well, she may have a chance of signing with one. but that means that she would have to move to the city if that does happen.
you were afraid to lose her. sure, you two would still be friends even if she was miles away. so that's exactly what you're afraid of, staying friends. you knew you had no guts to confess to her anytime soon. if haerin leaves, you will still be here. you can't imagine how it will be without her, because you've spent your entire life with her by your side.
even today, you're in your room as haerin is training more as days are left till the competition. divided between confessing or not, you wrote down all the things you want to get for her on your laptop. the tomato frog that she loves so much, a printed sweater with a cat, a couple bracelet that she had her eye on last month. you remembered everything like you knew the back of your hand. it wasn't intentional, but you just did. not to mention that you had quite bad memory that you took a week to remember your seatmate's name.
you were going to do it. you were going to confess. it took you years to finally make that decision and you want it to be perfect. what did it mean by perfect, you don't know. it was your first time, but you just wanted it to be from the bottom of your heart. regardless of whether haerin would reciprocate the feelings, you came to an agreement with yourself that it was fine if she didn't. she was going to move away when she wins that competition so it would just mean that you two stay friends. friends who are apart from each other.
although it may take time to heal, it was going to be fine. not everything in life can go smoothly, and you were willing to take the risk. it was unfair for both you and her. you couldn't pretend any longer that you saw her as a friend, when the way you treat her is definitely more than one. and she deserves to know what you feel for her, with no secrets kept between the two of you.
D-10.
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"WOONHAK! GOOD LUCK!"
"YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT BRO!"
"HAERIN-AH! SLAY IT!"
"HWAITING!"
screams and shouts from both sides of your ears were definitely gonna leave them ringing for some time. of course you weren't going to miss haerin's big day. you were beyond proud that she made it to the finals after beating her opponents in the semifinals. quarters were a piece of cake since she was a whole second ahead of everyone.
it was no doubt when she held the fastest record for 100m among the schools here. the agents definitely had their eyes on her the entire time, it just depends on who she chooses.
you didn't really like going out for events like these but she was an exception. although you weren't screaming your lungs out for her, you caressed that ring on your finger very dearly. the ring haerin got you when you two got into the same high school, calling it "the lucky ring". whenever there were big happenings, you'd wear it, feeling that she was with you through them. this time, you wore it so she could feel that you were with her.
"ON YOUR MARK."
the determination on haerin's face didn't go unnoticed even if you were nowhere close to the tracks. and when she flashed that smile at you before the whistle went off, you cried softly into your hands.
you love her so much. so much that this was going to be the last time you two were going to be friends. friends who grew up together, playing with puddles at the playground. finding restaurants to visit together. laughing at stupid videos in bed. taking pictures and videos of each other when one is sleeping. all those days were going to be a memory. a sweet memory for you to look back at after this day.
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reporters swarmed the winner of the competition, blocking the pathway for the others who could only sigh at their defeat. some were lucky with outstanding performance.
"could you tell us what's your future plans after this?"
"will you be signing with Krux? we saw their agent approach you personally."
"is it possible to know who kim woonhak is to you?"
"i'm sorry everyone but haerin will be heading off first, any questions will be answered by me."
the coach pushed haerin into the locker room before locking everyone outside with him. she let out the breath even she didn't know she was holding.
"so, who is kim woonhak to you?"
the noise was starting to die down outside as the reporters were led to a different room for interview. the silence was growing deafening as those words echoed across the empty room.
"you're my friend."
"damn, I really didn't have a chance, did I?"
"you know that very well. plus, there's a whole line waiting to date you so why waste your time on me?"
haerin couldn't bother, as she had something better to do and someone better to be with.
"sunbae, you do know I don't like you anymore right? not after you turned down my confession the other day."
"I was just making sure. I've seen too many of you playboys in action."
"oh come on, I'm not a playboy!"
woonhak was someone who was very responsive to teases, and haerin takes every chance she gets to tease the hell out of him. if anything, he was like a brother to her and she was like a sister to him. in fact, both of them decided to sign with the same company since they were offered. it was always good to have someone on your side in the sports world.
"I know, I was just messing with you. now get out, coach probably needs you."
"why me when the winner is right here chilling?"
"because you're gonna answer on my behalf."
the scene that was unfolding could easily be misunderstood if walked in at the wrong timing. and someone did just that. but what haerin didn't expect was that you walked in on them, seemingly laughing and smacking each other, like a couple. well, it did look like that to you at least.
you felt like you were interrupting something, so you dashed out of there as quick as you could. your eyes were stinging as the humid wind cut through your tears that were threatening to fall. although haerin was deemed the winner today, you were zooming past people faster than she could, as if in denial that you lost even before getting a chance to tell her.
it was getting more and more suffocating as the people around you were overwhelming. although you could breathe better when you reached the tracks, taking in the view of the vast field, it was too much that you had to hit your chest to let out some suppressed cries.
just as you felt slightly better, you felt a pair of arms swinging across your sides from behind, trapping you with them. you didn't even need to see who it is, as their scent invaded your senses, carrying familiarity with it.
"haerin-ah, congratulations! I'm so proud of you."
you turned around to bring her into a hug, but also hiding the fact you were crying because things were to change today.
"thank you, I wouldn't have done it without you."
"no, don't say that. you.. did it because you trained very hard for this. and you'll be achieving your dreams."
"you did do something for me, you were there for me. I saw you at the bleachers and that made me more determined to win."
"why are you crying, froggie? don't cry, we'll still see each other."
haerin cupped your face with her hands to wipe the tears off of your face. but that just hit the nail on the coffin, meaning that she would sign and leave for the city. which was now or never.
"haerin-ah."
"hmm?"
the endearing look in her face as she looks at you was more than enough to let you know she would be here for you no matter what. even as just a friend. although it was starting to rain, you knew you had to do it now. the words were getting stuck in your throat as it started to get dry. but, you were going to do it still.
"I love you."
"huh?"
the confusion on her face hurt you more than it should. you should know that she does not feel the same way you did for her. you should know that she was probably already dating woonhak after what you saw earlier. you should know-
"I love you too."
it was the first time you have ever seen that smile on her face. a grin so wide, it's like she's the happiest girl in the world. the most crescent eyes you've seen on her, as if she's staring at the girl she loves.
wait. she said she loves you too.
the sunshower was drenching the two of you but you couldn't give a damn about it. she said she loves you. she reciprocated your feelings. but you were having a very hard time trying to wrap your head around it.
"I love you too, you silly."
her laughter tickled your ears as you stood there frozen. your dumb reaction had her swaying you around with her in the rain as the sun was blinding through the droplets. just as she stopped to look at you again, you still had that bewildered face.
"I thought you were dating woonhak..."
"me? and that idiot? babe, you gotta be kidding me."
the sudden endearment had your cheeks flare up as you bury your head in her shoulder, in attempt to cover your face. but your ears were shooting bright red too, earning an earthy laughter from haerin, you could feel it through the embrace.
"so that means we're dating right?"
she looked at you with a shocked face before peppering kisses all over your cheeks.
"yes, of course froggie. unless you wanna get married."
the attempt at humor cracked both of you up, but you knew that was something you see happening in the future. but for now, everything was perfect. you were perfect, and haerin's urge to kiss you was too strong at that moment.
"can I kiss you?"
all you could do was nod and as her lips touched yours, that's when things were sinking in for you. your hands slowly draped over her neck as you pulled her closer to feel the longing for her warmth grow stronger. the sunshower painted over you and her, but you couldn't care less about what's around you when the most important person is in front of you. it was true that today was the last day you two were friends, but blossomed into a new beginning as each other's love.
as you pulled back to breathe, you two had your eyes closed, foreheads touching. although no words were exchanged, you knew, many more summers were to be spent with the love of your life.
it was the summer rain, the summer rain when haerin fell for you as you held her hand and ran in the rain back home.
that summer you fell for her too.
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mockerycrow · 1 year
Note
Hihi, okay, I have a request!
Can I request how 141(mostly ghost & price but whoever you want) + König would react if their s/o has scoliosis? But it's a really, really bad day, and every subtle movement is nothing but pain? And could you possibly add their back seizes so bad they can't breath or move for like a few minutes? That happened to me earlier in a pizza joint 😣
I've cried so many times today from pain, and I can't stand up straight, and I'm leaning sideways leaning tower of fxckery over here
Please and thank you!
Ghost + Price Comfort GN!Reader With Scoliosis
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cod masterlist
A/N: I only did these two, i hope that’s ok! also, warning—i do not have scoliosis, so i did some quick research for this. please let me know if it’s inaccurate and i will immediately edit this <3 i’m also sorry youre in so much pain!!! “birdie” is not a callsign, just a nickname to switch it up!
[WARNINGS: physical pain, military inaccuracies, hurt/comfort.]
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-> John Price
Price is aware that you have scoliosis and he knows that it can be quite painful, but he hasn’t gotten the chance to witness how truly painful it could be for you. He’s seen you wince and sit down in unconventional locations in an attempt to alleviate the pain radiating in your back, your braces, everything.
Today is a day where he hasn’t seen you all day, besides in the morning to collect the paperwork that you needed to do by the end of the week. He found it odd when you collected it all at once as you usually space it out between days, but he didn’t stop to think about it.
He hasn’t even seen you leave to get anything to eat or drink and it’s 1100, and you got up at 0600. That’s when John decides to grab you a cup of your favorite drink from the common kitchen area and head to your office, as well as a cup of tea for himself.
John manages to get the door open with both hands full—somehow—and that’s when he finds you hunched over your paperwork, your thumbs digging into the inner corners of your eyelids, pressing until those large block splotches appear behind them. He pauses for a moment, noticing the way you didn’t even perk up at the door opening.
“Y’alright?” He asks in a slow tone, watching the way you jolt from your position. Your eyes open and they land on John and you look miserable, cold sweat dripping down your temple from pain. “Mhm, just.. a flare-up.” You wave your hand in air as if to dismiss your pain, causing him to walk over to your desk.
John places your cup down—thankfully in a blank spot that isn’t covered by paperwork—and he stares at you for a moment with a non-believing look. “Is there anything I can d-“ He’s cut off by a low, pained whimper from you; you shove your face into your hands, as if to hide from him.
Your breath hitches, like you can’t breathe, and John begins to panic. He puts his cup of tea down somewhere on the desk and puts a hand on your back, speaking lowly and gently. “Darling, I need you to talk to me before I drag you to medical..”
You take a deep breath, sending sharp pains shooting through your body. You manage to push out “muscle relaxers” and “NSAID”. John processes your words and his shifted to something serious, like he was on an actual mission. He goes around to behind the desk and finds the bottles in the upper right-hand side drawer.
John opens both bottles and grabs the correct amount of medicine, and he grabs your cup. “Open,” he murmurs, planning on feeding you the medicine. You take a quick breath and open your mouth and John swiftly feeds you some of your drink, pops the pills in your mouth, allows you to swallow and lets you drink some more.
“Good.” His voice is low and comforting, and he presses a kiss against your tear stained cheek, his thumb coming up to wipe your tears away. “When you’re ready, lovie, let’s move you to your couch. Heard hold and cold things may help, too.” He feels terrible as he watches you struggle to breathe, your muscles spasming terribly, sending excruciating pain through your muscles. John wishes he could take this pain from you.
-> Ghost
You’re moving supplies for the base, big crates full of food, MRE’s, medical supplies and more when you feel the familiar pain begin your back and radiating down your leg. You wince from a spark of pain settling into your joints of your leg. You, being stubborn, refuse to sit down at first; “work through the pain” is your motto most of the time.
And most of the time, that does not work at all. Johnny, who is unloading the crates with you along with two recruits, notices your pace slowing and you only slow when something is up. He watches you closely for a moment before he speaks up, walking next to you as you carry a crate to the loading area. “Y’know, bonnie, ya can take a break? We’ve got it.” He insists, watching the way you bend down slower than earlier to place the crate down.
“I’m fine.” You respond—if you don’t think about it, it’ll go away.. right? That was your second mistake, the first being offering to help when your back was already aching a bit earlier. Johnny sighs and grabs the next crate you pick up from you, causing your eyebrows to furrow. “Go rest, you need it.” Johnny says, pausing for a moment with a smirk. “Don’t make me get the L.T.”
You mimic his voice childishly “dOn’T mAkE mE gEt ThE L.T.” before picking up another crate, securing your fate. Johnny texts Ghost and within a few minutes, he walks into the loading area and you make eye contact, groaning half with annoyance, half from pain. “I’m fine.” You try to insist, but your tone is a bit weak, and you wince from the pain—a nerve in your spine is probably being pinched by this point.
You lift a crate and Ghost swiftly snatches it from your hands, and your jaw drops and you look up at him to argue, but his gaze is intense, silently telling you to listen. He protrudes authority with just his presence, much like his captain. Ghost has seen you have scoliosis related problems before, so he places the crate down on the ground and he grabs your hand. He doesn’t yank you along in fear of hurting you further, but he does guide you to your office.
“You need to start taking better care of yourself, birdie.” He eyes you as he has you sit down on the couch, walking over to your desk and opening the drawer he has memories your medications stay on. You grumble and attempt to adjust your position to feel more comfortable. “I do take good care of myself.”
“I said better, yeah?” Ghost pours the medications into has hand and walks over to you, dropping the medicine in your out-stretched palm. You want to be stubborn and snap back at him, but at that very moment, a sharp pain shoots through you and your muscles begin to spasm. You whimper and you blink, within a second, Ghost is sitting next to you, pulling you against him. “Shh, let it pass..” He mutters, his voice unnaturally soft, but still rough around the edges. “I’ll grab you some water soon, birdie. I’ll stay here as long as you need.”
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sandy-the-glader · 3 months
Note
Hi!! I hope this is okay!! If not, no worries!! 💜💜💜 (I love you lots!)
Can I please request an Adrian Chase x fem!innocent!reader Where while Adrian is out and about doing his Vigilante work he comes across a bunch of criminals in a warehouse, and after they’re all “taken care of”, he hears someone crying and finds a girl hiding behind a pile of the criminal’s stuff, and she’s handcuffed to something over there, so she couldn’t leave even if she wanted to. She’d obviously be completely terrified of Vig, but as we know, he is very good at reading a person and would clearly see that she is innocent, and had been taken by the bad guys. Normally he would just set the innocent girl free and be on his way, having already taken care of the bad guys, however… He had unfortunately taken off his mask right before finding her, and had forgotten to put it back on, so she has seen his face. Panicking, he just picks her up, and takes her to his car with him, driving straight to the 11th Street Kids HQ, carrying in a terrified Y/n, he himself all panicked, and the team is like “wtf did you do????” “Did you abduct her???” And he’s just like, “No no, I saved her! But then she saw my face… So I guess, yes??”
Lmao it’s honestly a mess, but the team takes care of Y/n’s injuries, apologies for Adrian’s behavior lmao, and lets her stay there until she has recovered, as not only is she hurt, but very scared. After a while of staying with them, she gradually starts warming up to Adrian, him desperately trying to get her not to be afraid of him anymore (for a while there she was terrified of him), and their relationship eventually grows into a more romantic and intimate one🥺🥺🤧
Afraid of Me
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*Not my gif*
Character: Adrian Chase x SoftFem!Reader
Type: Fluff and sorta angsty
Length: 5.4K (a bit long)
Summary: Request above <3
Trope: Strangers to friends to lovers, Slow-burn
A/N: LONG A/N!! Sorry this took forever I've been busy with a lot of stuff and I just haven't had any time but I worked on this whenever I could. Btw again I bent the request a little bit (I'm not sure if I wrote what you wanted for it and I apologize ) so I hope it’s okay I just made this go over the whole period of time the show does and like more so there's more time for a bond to be built lol
I heard a quick gunshot followed by another. Tears continued to fall from my eyes as I was tied to some random wall in some warehouse, Apparently, I was not supposed to come across two men selling heroin to each other but here I am. They claimed I saw too much, took me, and tied me up. Who even does that?
I just wanted to return to my apartment and read this new book I bought. That's all I had planned for my day anyway. Yet now I was tied to a pole in some wet and cold warehouse with random crates surrounding me. I tugged and tried to break from but it was helpless. I cried and sniffled as I continued to try but there was no avail.
Were those shots from them or someone else? Please god, let someone save me. I had been here for hours and I was scared of what they had planned for me. They already hit me pretty hard over the head which caused a small trail of blood to fall from my temple.
I heard loud and heavy footsteps coming towards me. I braced myself and waited for the figure to come around the crate to where I was. He was wearing a teal suit, with blood covering it. It was Vigilante. Should I be happy or terrified? He's a killer but isn't he supposed to be a hero?
"Fuck oh my god." He gasped slapping a gloved hand over his mouth. He was missing one exceptionally important part of his suit. His mask. That must have been why he was so frantic.
In all honesty, he looked nothing like I always pictured him. He was lanky with glasses and he looked really young. He looked mid-twenties though I had a feeling he was older. He honestly looked nerdy.
"I'm sorry. I really won't tell anyone who you are. I-I mean I don't even know your name." I stammered. He didn't care though because he continued to curse.
"Fuck fuck fuck. This is so not good." he groaned. The man ran a thick hand through his hair while bouncing back and forth. "Umm." He pondered confused about what to do. "Shit, I can't let you go." My eyes widen. He already has saved me why not let me go on my merry way? He took off his glasses and put his mask back on.
He came over to me and examined my situation. He crouched down and started untieing the rope that kept me on the pole but didn't bother with the ones around my hands or feet.
I was about to thank him for his acts but he picked me up and started to carry me out. Oh, he's actually not letting me go.
"What are you doing!?" I panicked. I started wiggling my body in his grasp then he held me tighter. "Where are you taking me? This hurts." He continued to keep walking until we reached his car a couple of feet from the warehouse.
Holding me with one hand, he opened the door to his back seat and tossed me in. Judging by his face, he didn't mean it to be as aggressive but it was enough to get me to shut up. He slammed the door and rushed over to the driver's seat.
This is it. After all that's happened today I'm being kidnapped by Vigilante and who knows what's going to happen. I guess the law doesn't apply when it comes to him. I actually can't believe it right now.
The entire car ride was silent. Not a sound from the man or from me. It was terrifying. All I could think of was what was going to happen to me. it took him forever to get to his destination and when we got there I realized it was some rundown video store. That couldn't be where we're going right?
-
"Guy's we got a fucking situation!" Adrian called opening the door with the girl in his hands. The whole team in the building stared at him with wide 'What the fuck' like eyes.
"Who the fuck is that?" Economos asked adjusting his glasses and leaning over his desk.
Adrian (not so carefully) dropped the woman on the floor making her yelp out in shock and pain.
"Did you just kidnap a girl?" Adebayo's eyes widened at the sight.
"No Adebayo!" He yelled defensively. "Okay, well technically yes but-" He was cut off quickly.
"And why did you bring her here?" Harcourt burst out running a hand through her blonde hair.
"Okay, I was doing my badass stuff, right? Like beating up these bad dudes and I found her behind some crates." They all stared at him waiting for him to continue. "And since I didn't know these dudes took a hostage I took my mask off and that's-" He removed his mask again and replaced the glasses on his face. "Really bad." He grimaced.
"Adrian what the hell dude you could have left her. She would have never turned you in. Look at her. No offense." Chris said. She stayed silent like she never heard the comment in the first place.
She was scared to death, trembling on the floor with small tear streaks down her face. Some of the tears mixed in with blood on the left side of her face. She looked innocent as could be and she definitely didn't deserve to be in this mess.
"Dude what the fuck!" He shouted at Chris. "Now she knows my real name! You have so fucked me!" He continued to cure which didn't make the girl feel any better.
"I did not fuck you! Besides it's your fault for bringing her here anyway." Chris furrowed his eyebrows looking back and forth between the petrified girl and his idiotic friend.
"What is happening out here?" Murn came out from one of the rooms and immediately regretted his decision. "We're supposed to be working on the project butterfly case what are you doing Chase?" He asked sternly.
"Oh, now she knows about Project Butterfly!" Harcourt placed a hand on her forehead.
"Well, it's not like I can kill her because she's innocent" The girl's face drained at the mention of death. "and we can't get rid of her because she might tell someone who I am!" Adrian wined out. He was finally right about one thing.
"She also might screw our plan up," Murn muttered trying to think of a reasonable thing to do with this girl.
"Then what do you suppose we do with her?" Economos folded his arms. The girl had been silent the entirety of this conversation but she finally piped up.
"Um.." Her voice caught everyone's attention and they turned their heads to look at her. "I-I can clean and o-organize around here." She stammered. "I can help you guys just please don't kill me." She pleaded. They all non-verbally agreed she had been through enough judging by the look of blood running from her temple and dirt caking her shirt.
"Yeah that honestly could be useful," Harcourt spoke. She looked around the room to only be met with agreeing faces. She let out another deep sigh before Murn spoke up.
"You will work the same hours as us and will get paid a fair amount." He folded his arms tightly over his chest. He didn't ask he just demanded she work.
"I'm also a fast learner and I can help you with anything you need. I don't have a current job so that would be perfect." She tried to look at the bright side of the situation. I can work for money but this is a destructive and hard-core business she pondered. "And since this is a very um dangerous job I just so happened to be trained in medical care." She offered.
"Oh, sweet! That's perfect so now dyed bear can stop doing such a shit job of stitching me up!" Chris smiled.
"Hey!" Economos protested. It was perfectly fine he thought.
"What about my living situation? C-can I still stay In my apartment?" She asked. They all looked around at each other because that was one thing they hadn't thought of. If they let her stay, she could always tell people without them knowing.
"If we let you stay in your apartment, you must realize he" Murn pointed at Adrian Chase himself. "has to keep watch of you? He somehow always knows if someone is doing something they shouldn't be." She nodded slowly. "And if you tell anyone and I mean anyone you will be terminated immediately, do you understand?" He spoke firmly making her hands tremble.
"I understand." She muttered.
"Now that everyone is done with this whole situation I suggest you get back to work," Murn concluded walking back to his office annoyed with the inconvenience.
-
I sat there absolutely stunned at what just happened. I just got myself into a bat shit crazy job. I mean I don't even know these people and one of them literally abducted me. This is not normal.
Project butterfly? Are these guys all heroes or something? I already was aware of Vigilante's existence and somewhat Peacemaker but there's a lot more than just those two.
"Oh my god, he didn't even untie you." The blonde-haired woman spoke in surprise. I didn't say anything because really what was I supposed to say? "I'm Harcourt." She kneeled beside me. She opened a switchblade and sliced through the ropes binding my hands together and then my feet. "Come on let's get you cleaned up. She went and collected the first aid kit from one of the desks on the left side of the room and motioned for me to sit at her desk. "What's your name?" She asked.
"Y/n L/n." I said quietly as I stared into my lap anxiously.
"Come sit Y/n." She said calmly trying to make me comfortable.
I stood up uneasily and almost fell back down. I steadied myself and carefully walked over to the chair and sat down gently. She pulled out a couple of cotton swabs and some alcohol. She poured the strong liquid onto the small ball.
"I'm sorry about him." Harcourt hummed taking the cotton swab to my forehead.
"Hm?" I replied softly.
"Adrian." She looked me in the eyes. "He just isn't all there sometimes." She mumbled. She tossed the bloodied-up swab in the trash and put a bandage over the small cut.
I looked over at Vigilante who I guess was named Adrian. He was talking to Peacemaker and he looked perfectly innocent. Not even an hour earlier he was tossing me into the back of his car. Jesus, what did I really get myself into? Not only does he have to escort me home, but now I have to work with him. He's a psycho!
"She has a point you know." The woman I was pretty sure was Adebayo spoke up. I glanced at her and she nodded trying to make me realize it. "He's a really good guy you just have to get to know him. I get it he basically kidnapped you but he's stupid in everything but fighting."
"Yeah okay," I mumbled softly. I don't care what they say now I can't trust him after what he did unless he really proves he's trustworthy. At least these people actually had the decency to tend to my wounds.
She continued to bandage and take care of every cut I had on my arms and face. I enjoyed her already because she was delicate to me and cared about my feelings. Pretty quickly she finished and put all the materials away.
"Come over here I think we found a box of old clothes you could change in." She led me back into the store and I could feel Adrian's eyes burning into my back.
-
"Dude she's afraid of me!" I panicked at Chris looking him dead in the eye. I waited for her to leave before I talked to my best friend about the whole thing.
"Well, I mean you did throw her in the back of your car. Chicks don't really dig that. Unless they're like hardcore." Okay yeah obviously I fucked up big time but I was under a lot of pressure and I wasn't doing what I should have!
"Dude I didn't know what else to do." I whined
"I mean you just gotta make things right with her I guess. I don't know I usually don't have to apologize to girls." He shrugged his shoulders. Great okay how am I supposed to do that when she's obviously afraid of me? Fuck. "Listen when you walk her to her apartment just be like 'Sorry for kidnapping you in my shitty car that was a pretty bad thing to do!' or something like that." I let out a heavy sigh. This is never going to work.
-
I came back out to the main room in a sweatshirt with the video store's logo on it and sweatpants that were longer than my actual legs with the same logo down the side of it. I held my original clothes in my arms and I was quiet.
What do I do now? Go home? How am I supposed to feel safe in my own home when I know that guy is watching me?
"Listen." Harcourt grabbed my attention. "You can take as much time as you need before you go home. I know that was probably a traumatic experience for you so let me know when you want to leave." She spoke as if she had read my mind. I nodded. "Also we have your address so we can get you home easily." Okay well, I told her my name and that was all it took to find out where I lived. Spectacular.
"What are my work hours?" I still can't believe I got myself to work for these people.
"Just don't get here any later than 8. Hours are different every day. Since you now work here I guess I should tell you who everyone is." She pointed to Peacemaker and Vigilante who were still chatting near the corner of the room "Chris and Adrian ." Then to the other man in glasses. "Economos." The guy in the other room that I could see through the glass. "Murn." Finally, she pointed at the last girl which I already knew. "and Adebayo."
I stood around for not too much longer before very anxiously describing to Harcourt my wishes to leave. She understood fully and went over to Adrian to make him take me home. He looked at me with some sort of care in his eyes but I just couldn't look at him so my eyes fell back to the sight of the floor.
"Come on kid." Harcourt motioned with her head to leave out the door with the man. I walked out the door and the cool air hit me as the sun started to sink down below the horizon.
One car ride and then I'm home. This time I got to sit in the front seat of his car instead of being thrown in the back like a doll. I secured my seatbelt and then just slumped against the car door. All I could really do was pay attention to the passing cars outside and the quiet buzz of the radio.
I also noticed the pleasing smell of his cologne that filled the car or how he hummed along to the Taylor Swift song on the radio. Someone like him is a swiftie?
"I'm sorry that I kidnapped you." Adrian broke the silence between us in an attempt to apologize. I ignored it and kept looking out the window. It was a long day and I genuinely couldn't tell if he was being sincere or was just trying to make me feel like he cared. "Please talk to me. I know I fucked up." I glanced over at him; his eyes flickered between the road and me. "Hey." He reached for my hand and flinched away with wide eyes and a quickened heartbeat.
His eyes lit up in sorrow. He looked like he felt bad. He backed off and for the rest of the car ride, he didn't talk anymore. There was so much tension in that car I felt like I was going to suffocate. I could barely look at him. I was still scared of his guts.
Every turn and stop made me think over and over about the events that occurred today. It was nauseating.
Finally walking through the door of my apartment left me with this feeling I couldn't describe. All of the events that happened today were fucking unbelievable.
The book I was planning to read was on my bed and was quickly tossed on my side table with a small thud. I sprawled out on my bed not bothering to do anything else tonight.
What. The. Fuck.
-
It's my first day on the job and my teammate already hit someone with a car. A van actually. I got to the disguised video store a bit after seven and Murn described the plan to me. Since I wasn't significant to the plan I just stayed in the car with a first-aid kit just in case things went south. And oh they did.
"Is he dead!?" I stood in the van looking at Economos dumbfounded. He didn't reply at first he was just making shocked quivering noises.
"I... I don't know?" My eyes widened as he started to get out of the car holding a crowbar tightly in his hands. I left the kit on the seats (since I had been fidgeting with the latches the whole ride) and followed him for support or something like that. Maybe I thought I could help. He inspected inside the car which he had hit fully force.
Judomaster was crawling on the ground in front of the car slowly. Economos inched closer and closer to him holding the crowbar. He whacked him once over the head and jolted backward then his body went limp. We waited and sure enough, he kept crawling. He hit him again and he still was moving. I slapped a hand over my mouth as he repeatedly hit him on the back of the head. He poked him a few times like you would a bug making sure he wasn't moving.
"Oh my god." He let out. "Fuck yeah!" He turned around to high-five me. I lightly returned it. "Don't worry he's not dead." He said sensing my shock. "They're hardcore it takes a lot."
"Well, what do we do with him now?" I looked at Economos for ideas. We ended up tying him up and throwing him in the back of the van. I watched him intensely. When would this dude wake up? I really hope not any time soon. Murn radioed us and let us know that they would be coming back soon with of course Vigilante. Economos drove us back to the spot we were supposed to be in and awaited their arrival.
"You're pretty cool." I complimented him. He was taken aback by the positive words.
"Well thank you." He adjusted his glasses with a bright smile.
We waited for 15 minutes until they finally arrived and loaded themselves into the van. Everyone looked untouched besides Harcourt's messy hair, a couple cuts on Peacemaker's face and Vigilante crying about his bleeding toe. I grabbed the medical kit I had set down on the seats just minutes before and rushed to Adrian's side.
I motioned for him to move his foot up to where I needed it. He hesitated for a moment but then proceeded to lift his foot into my lap. I scoped out his injured toe and I pulled out the needed materials.
Yikes. I was definitely glad that I stayed in the van. Adrian’s foot jerked in my lap as I tried to get some alcohol.
"Hold still!" I complained to Adrian trying to hold his leg down from wriggling under my grasp. From the looks of it, this man had managed to get half of his pinky toe cut off. That is such a bizarre thing for torture.
“It hurts so bad though!” He wined when I took the alcohol to his foot. He had obviously had worse happen to him but this?
“It could have been worse,” I said. My hold got tighter on his leg since it kept jolting side to side.
“Pft yeah, this was nothing!” He lied as if he hadn’t been complaining two seconds ago. “I’ve gone through worse in DND.” A small smile appeared on my cheeks. DND huh? Who knew the big strong Vigilante was a total nerd? And a swiftie...
“One of my characters got their arm bitten off by a bear so I’d say you’re okay,” I said. His eyes lit up at the mention that I had played before." Just sit still it's about to get worse." His eyes clenched shut.
"Oh shit!" He screamed out making everyone irritated in the van. I shushed him gently with a soft hand on his leg. He shut up very quickly but his body still tensed occasionally with every sting. I held his foot carefully as I bandaged it up thoroughly.
"Are you hurt anywhere else?" I asked. I still didn't dare to look him in the eye.
"Yeah, but I can wait until we get back." He tried to act tough but I could hear the pain in his voice. I noticed a couple of holes in his shirt. Maybe I could fix his shirt while I'm at it. God am I being too nice?
I mean I'm trying to think of the bright side of what happened yesterday and honestly, it didn't seem so bad anymore. He saved my ass and I'm having a paying job. I can only imagine the pay is fantastic for what these people have me doing. I sat next to Adrian. I was feeling a little less scared of him now when I thought about him like that. Even through the visor, his eyes were peeled onto me. It felt like since I got here they never left.
Getting back to headquarters I couldn't get Adrian to get out of the van without making a scene. I dragged him quickly into the store so he wouldn't draw any attention from people lurking around In the streets. I pulled him by his hand and made him sit in the closest chair I could spot. He whined and moaned obnoxiously loud. I knew the stories and new articles about the man. He was tough and put up a big fight, he never lost against criminals.
I grabbed the larger bandages from an area Harcourt showed me just this morning and also some more alcohol.
"Show me where you're hurt." I looked at him curious about what else had happened to him. He pulled off his chest plate and revealed the deep stab wound in his shoulder. The fabric of his shirt clearly revealed the bloody mess it left. My eyes widen. "You kept this from me until now?"
"I could handle this. The toe I'm not entirely sure." I cleaned and bandaged the wound with intense concentration. I was careful and sure not to cause any more harm after this long night. "Thank you." He said softly. I just nodded and didn't reply with anything else.
-
The days passed as we worked on this project and the days were long and there was a lot of work to do. I didn't have almost any free time anymore so it was hard to make time for friends I actually wanted to talk to or things I really wanted to do. Adrian continued to try his hardest to earn my trust and befriend me.
I started to warm up to him crazy enough. He did little things for me I thought were sweet. Sometimes he brought me breakfast or he would try to learn about things I liked so he could talk about them with me. I started to trust him more and more as the mission proceeded because he was really good company. He would talk and I would listen.
A couple of days after the whole 'Adrian getting his pinky toe almost cut off' situation he got himself arrested. I didn't even know until Harcourt talked to me about it and what Adebayo said to him. I felt bad for him because as much as I thought I disliked him, I hated to hear he was where he was and how Adebayo literally manipulated him into doing it.
The night he got out he showed up at my apartment because he still needed to check up on me and since he hadn't been able to. For the first time, I felt comfortable enough to hug him. So I did, I wrapped my arms gently around his torso and gave a small squeeze. We stood like that for a minute before he quietly wished me a 'goodnight' without any further words. That was the kindest moment we had ever shared with one another
Then the next day we had another mission. Since all this time has passed, I had been informed on what a Butterfly fully was. At first, it was entirely confusing until I realized these were tiny alien butterflies here to kill us. I know it sounds like something straight out of a sci-fi movie.
I had to sit through a whole meeting in the morning next to Adrian where he (the whole time) joked with me. It felt sorta nice honestly. He never stopped being friendly and I just kind of started to accept it more.
And the whole mission went by quickly.
"Oh my god." I blurted when everyone arrived back in the truck. Peacemaker and Economos were fully drenched head to toe in blood, Harcourt had a good amount on her, and Adebayo and Adrian had little to none on them.
"We fought a fucking gorilla!" Adebayo exploded with astonishment. Jesus, sometimes I wish I didn't sit in the car the whole time.
"Economos is the fucking man." Peacemaker clapped him on the back with a proud grin. I did miss a lot if those two are now getting along.
"All the blood is the gorillas right?" I asked startled for a second considering the amount.
"Yeah we're all fine," Harcourt said tiredly.
"At least no one's arm got bitten off, like your DND character right?" Adrian nudged me in the side and sat down next to me. Sure I had only told him a few days ago about that but it still made me happy that he had remembered that tiny detail.
"Right." I smiled. Chris sat in the front and started playing music like he had at the beginning of the ride. I sang along with the rest of my team members to 11th Street Kids and I actually started to enjoy my work a little more.
I looked over at Adrian who was dancing like a dork. He looked so adorable? He was playing air drums and making up random dances as he went. I don't know why but I started to not hate him anymore. I started seeing this more personal side of him. Not Vigilante but Adrian.
"C'mon dance," Adrian whispered in my ear and nudged me again. I started to sway along with the group.
Later that night Harcourt made a group chat with all of us and sent a photo she had taken in the van. I set the book down I had finally got to reading beside me on my bed and picked up my phone.
Everyone was dancing in the van but on the right side, you could see me looking at Adrian with the sweetest smile on my face. The chat is filled with different emojis. The only number I had was Harcourts but from the merman emoji, I already knew it was Adrian. I liked his message and sent a fitting emoji to match the others.
I set my phone down and continued reading with a big smile. I never seemed to stop today.
-
It was the final day of the project and I wasn’t allowed to go. I wasn’t entirely complaining since this job was so bizarre but I was also disappointed. I mean all this build up and I don’t even get to go. They said it would be safer for me and of course, I understood.
But as the night carried on and the morning came through I was nervous. I had no texts or word from anyone. Sure, they still could be busy and have to do some other stuff before texting me but what if?
I heard a rushed-sounding knock on my door which threw me off. I ran to my door since the person decided to not stop knocking.
"What do you want?" I hissed as I threw open the door but I was only met with Adrian. My eyes soften upon seeing him. Oh, thank god he’s alive. "Adrian. Hi." I paused when noticing he was in a pair of shorts and a nursing gown. "Come inside." I ushered him in with wide eyes and closed the door quickly behind him. "What are you doing here?"
"Listen I jumped out of a hospital building to be her so-"
"Adrian!" I scolded him for being careless. I had started to really enjoy him I didn't need him being so careless all the time.
"Shut up. Sorry, but I need to tell you this." I stared at him silently with folded arms awaiting what he was about to tell me. "Okay, so after almost dying, I know what you're about to say please just wait. After almost dying, I realized had more feelings for you than I have ever had for someone and that's like a lot for me." He stepped closer to me. "I had to tell you those feelings just in case I actually died sometime. But now I'm scared if you reject me because of the whole kidnapping thing when we first met and usually I would be okay with rejection but I don't feel usual with you." He rambled and his hands made several confusing gestures along the way.
Everything about him told me he was being truthful. His hands were trembling with nervousness, He literally came from a hospital to tell me this and he just had that look on his face.
The feelings from the other day came rushing back. I really enjoyed being with genuine Adrian. The time we spent together over the course of this project was enjoyable. I noticed small things about him like the way he always made sure to keep an eye on me and was careful not to get me into anything super dangerous. He had become almost like a personal guard.
He even taught me how to use weapons, and also never overstepped my boundaries. So yeah maybe I developed a crush on my kidnapper co-worker.
"Why are you looking at me like that I'm like really nervous right now." He asked.
"Because I feel the same way. Even though you did totally kidnap and traumatize me." I nudged him smiling but he didn't return it. "Adrian I was playing with you. But I really do feel the same way." He let out a long breath. I was quite sure he had stopped breathing for a little while.
"Oh thank god." Adrian stepped closer and picked me up in his arms as he kissed me deeply. I've kissed a couple of times in the past but never did it feel as amazing as this. I held him close to me as if he would slip away again. He pulled away to look closely at my face.
"Just because you kissed me doesn't mean I won't scold you for almost dying." I glared at him but he just smiled kindly and kissed me again.
"If I keep. Kissing you then. I won't. Get yelled at." He said in between kisses making me start to laugh.
“Don’t scare me like that again Chase.” I shook my head kissing him passionately once more. I could get used to this feeling.
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littledemondani · 2 years
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I read your All Mine fic and knew that I needed you and your writing style to write an dream I've had w Eddie lol-
Him using his bandana in his back pocket to keep reader quiet during sex.
hush, baby
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warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, fuckboy!eddie, fem!reader, unprotected sex, spanking, degradation, brief dumbification, daddy kink if you squint
a/n: sorry it took me a while to get this out! i really love the concept of fuckboy!eddie and i just felt like he suited this idea. as always, reader is over 18. i’m currently accepting requests and concepts. &lt;3
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"fuuckk," eddie groaned, glancing down at his glistening cock as he pulled almost all of the way out of you. "you're so fucking wet, baby. you like this, huh? getting fucked like some cheap whore?"
you couldn't talk. your body was so overcome with immense pleasure, your mind clouded in a lusty haze, that it hindered your ability to form coherent sentences. the best you could do was nod, which wasn't good enough for eddie. his hand came down hard on your ass, making you yelp in pain as the harsh sting radiated outwards. "yes!" you cried out. "yes...yes..i love it.."
and you truly did. you loved how eddie used you like you were nothing more than a hole for him to fuck.
eddie knew all of this already. he knew any time he called you up in the middle of the night, horny as fuck and needing to get his dick wet, all he had to do was say, "can't stop thinkin' 'bout that perfect pussy, babe. need you so bad," and you'd be more than willing to give him exactly what he wanted.
he spanked you several more times on both cheeks, each blow harder than the previous. you jolted forward, but he grabbed you by your shoulder and pulled you back to him, impaling you further on his cock.
"i know you do," he cooed, rubbing over the welts that have already formed on your ass. with his free hand, he gently shifted your hips forward, so he could get a better look at where you're conjoined. your cunt was clenching around him, and a string of your arousal was hanging from the underside of his thick cock. he gathered it on two fingers, groaning hotly as he did so. "you should see how fucking pretty your pussy looks, babe. you're dripping for me."
without warning, he began thrusting harder, faster, his hand firmly gripping your shoulder to keep you in place while he railed you from behind.
you couldn’t think straight with how fucking full his cock was making you feel, stretching you in the most delicious way, how he pushed against your sweet spot with such accuracy with each drag of his cock, the downright filthy words falling from his lips; “taking my dick so well, babe,” “you want more, hm? wanna feel me for days?” “aww, look at you. you’re so cute, all drooly. am i fucking you dumb? my dumb little baby.”
your elbows gave way after a while, chest flat against your mattress, head turned to the left, eyes rolled back as the coil in your stomach tightened. eddie lifted your hips up a little, the new angle allowing him to go even deeper. “fuck yes,” he groaned, gripping your hips tight as he slammed you back to meet his thrusts. “so good, babe. pussy’s so. fucking. good.” he accentuated each word with a harsh thrust, making you moan hotly.
eddie reached around you, calloused fingers finding your clit and rubbing fast circles on your aching bud. each swipe has your moans getting louder and louder, mixing in with the wet sounds of your cunt and the slap of his heavy balls against your ass.
as much as he loved to hear you scream for him, he knew it was nearly impossible to get away with with your parents' room being down the hall from yours. "shhh," he leaned over you, thumb brushing against the corner of your lips to wipe off some drool, the action fairly tender in nature compared to the harsh way he was fucking you. "you don't wanna wake up your mommy and daddy, do you?"
you shook your head, glancing at him over your shoulder as you do so. his bangs stuck to his forehead, creamy skin covered in a light sheen of sweat, making his tattoos glisten in the dim light of your lamp on the nightstand. he was beautiful, so fucking beautiful and you clenched hard around him, whimpering.
"then keep it quiet," he softly demanded. "can you do that for me?"
he didn't wait for you answer and resumed the same brutal pace he had taken up before, smirking wickedly as he looked down at you. you tried to stay quiet, but the tickling sensation in your throat from holding it in was becoming too much. it all was too much. every nerve ending in your body felt like they were on fire, magnifying each touch of his against your heated skin and the drags of his cock through your walls.
you feel the moan clawing its way up and bring your hand to your mouth, biting down on the back part to stifle the strained sound that escaped you. it worked for a while, but only a while, as eddie brought his fingers back to your clit.
"e-eddie..." you mewled, the sound muffled around your hand.
"aww, what's the matter, baby?" he mocked. "hm? tell daddy."
he gave a particularly sharp thrust that had you crying out, your hand slipping from your mouth. you moaned loud, unabashed, and it echoed throughout your room. he tsked, reaching over to grab his jeans that were discarded on the bed off to the side of him, taking the black handkerchief from the back pocket.
"since you can't seem to keep your fucking mouth shut," he said, shoving the bunched up material into your mouth. "i'll just have to fucking do it for you."
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heyy I have a question but I'm kinda embarrassed about it so idk?
how much of a high libido is normal for a teenager? around 15 years? because like I've been taught that puberty makes you horny, but all everyone was always talking and making jokes about was cus males going through that, and I'm not a cis dude
I was just wondering because like it feels wrong sometimes to think about it that much even though it feels good to but like -I also don't really know how to say this- it also feels like I'm using sexual thoughts and fantasies and stuff to distract myself and to repress the stuff going on in my life? like I can feel my brain switch from "I'm gonna have a breakdown" to "how about horny?" in a couple of seconds and idk if that's normal? or healthy for that matter lol
idk what to say have a nice day and any advice is appreciated<3
(do you do named anons? if so, can I be fox anon?)
hi fox anon,
I'm actually going to direct you to an ask from a shrimp anon, where we had a little chat about hypersexuality and how to know if your sex drive is too high. (spoiler alert: if you're not actively ruining your own life in the pursuit of sex, it's probably not!)
there are definitely the most stereotypes about cis teenage boys being horny, but it's very normal for people with any gender identity, genitalia, and hormones to be extremely interested in sex during their teen years. (and of course, it's also normal not to be interested at all!) this is the part of your life where everybody's bodies are reaching sexual maturity, and it's extremely EXTREMELY normal to have a burning curiosity to go along with that.
it's also very normal to have a lot of Large emotions and feel like they can switch on a dime; that's the power of Hormones, babey! you're experiencing a lot of internal hormonal situations and external social stresses for the first time, and your brain is learning how to process all that.
I have a friend who's only a few months old, so when he gets overwhelmed he doesn't know how to handle that and usually just cries about it because he's brand new and doesn't have any other coping mechanisms. of course, you have a lot more experience than a guy who's brand new and you know way more coping mechanisms than he does, but you're in a somewhat similar position of having to handle a LOT of new shit and not knowing how to cope with it yet. sometimes what's going to happen is just pivoting hard from one big feeling to another - in some cases, from the pits of despair straight to horny jail.
is it possible to become overly reliant on sexual stimulation as a form of self-soothing? sure, of course. it's possible to become overly reliant on anything; absolutely any positive behavior can become detrimental if it's performed to extremity. again, read that ask I linked!
but pivoting from a breakdown to jacking off isn't a bad idea. it can help you calm down, can be a great transition into a nap or sleep, and pops off a little burst of dopamine and oxytocin that's probably very badly needed if you're on the verge of a breakdown. of course it's ideal to have other healthy outlets for when you're feeling bad - making art or doing something else with your hands, doing some enjoyable physical activity, talking with friends or family, keeping a journal - but as one part of a larger diet of support and coping mechanism, horny behavior is great, normal, and very healthy.
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khuzena · 8 months
Text
Seasons.
Itoshi Rin, Michael Kaiser x g/n!reader
Summary: Like how flowers bloom in spring, how flowers bask in the warmth of summer's embrace, their petals fall in autumn and their essence crumbles in winter. Their heart does too, though it still beats for you <3
Warning: Angst, breakup, cheating, drifting apart, hurt just hurt. No fluff, we don't do that weak sh here (kinda but nothing lasts forever).
A/n: life update. Been gone for MONTHS, sorry for no update :(. i fell in love, fell out of love but took me months to get over and now i came back ^^ tho I'll post a full update if any of you still remember me and want to know everrrrything that went on these months i was inactive:>
Listening to: MR. LOVERMAN
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Michael Kaiser
I've shattered now, I'm spilling out
Upon this linoleum ground.
The memory still ingrained in the crevices of his heart like a fresh wound.
He remembers it like it was just yesterday.
It was spring when he met you.
His headphones blaring music so loud the world went silent around him as he walked without a care in the world. There you were, some nobody transferee with a dream, three books hugged to your chest as you bumped into him.
"A-ah! Sorry!" The books fell to the ground, kneeling as you tried to grab all your pens that fell too.
Kaiser sips his tea in his balcony, The cacophonic mantra of sorrys of that sunny afternoon still ringing in his ears.
When he also knelt down to your level to help you carry them, he shrugged it off and apologised back.
Your gazes locked, it was new, so exciting. Yet It felt so dangerous.
Then, he swept you off your feet on the summer beach.
There were three things that caught his eyes that day: the endless sea, the ice cream that melted on the sand and you.
"Pfft you— you wasted your ice cream!" That sweet laugh of you still haunting him in his dreams everyday. It was June when he told you -he was lonely- it would be fun if you tagged along in his trip to the seaside.
The soft sand touching your skin and his, as he inched closer to your face. His heart raced, faster than he's ever felt before.
Your lips touching, he expected it would feel like fireworks exploding in new years but no— it felt like home. He was no longer just a man, he was a lover (too).
The sun set and till autumn, every kiss, every hug was straight out of the movie.
It was just the two of you; his eyes never leaving yours, a kiss on his neck or two, maybe even the trickling sweat from his forehead.
Either way, it felt just right.
Autumn, he was tired.
Though he could not leave you, not when he was your loverman.
Not like this.
He may have loved you, but he loved feeling loved more.
A little too much— that he found himself in the arms of another woman.
"It isn't what it seems like, mein liebe please." His fingers gripping your wrist hard, begging you to stay.
How could you? Why would you?
He smelled too much like that other woman.
From a noble, rich, revered professional athlete now turned into an idiotic, dishevelled, weak man. Begging for forgiveness, he got on his knees and sang your name like a prayer but it was no use.
You were no god, it was not your obligation to forgive nor give salvation to those who've sinned.
You couldn't look him in the eye. All your love for him fell in a blink of an eye. Not all of it though.
"I'm sorry, I know you won't forgive me. But please, don't leave me tonight."
It was true when all your love wasn't gone for him, maybe you were selfish too.
That night, you indulged in this sin too. You were a sinner too, maybe even more than him.
You've sinned against yourself, your own morals for your pleasure.
It was Winter when you left.
The morning after that loveless night, he shed his tears in his dreams— he didn't want you to see.
Though you've seen through him.
It was natural to feel hatred, contempt and confusion because of his act of betrayal.
But you didn't.
You cupped his face gently, tracing your thumb over his tear-stained pretty face. He cried again; not in his dreams but in your embrace.
His heart broke more at the sight of you looking at him with such pity.
You've packed your things that day. As you opened the door you were greeted with first, the taxi cab then the gust of strong snow carried off by the wind.
"I guess this is it."
"Yeah"
A man with an ego of god, staring at you with eyes of a believer, still hoping, praying you realise that you can't live without him and run to his arms and stay.
But you didn't.
And you looked back to him one more time, the cold has already frozen your tears.
Then, silence.
'Shit, shit, shit' the thought raced in his head as kept pacing around in the living room.
Though he knows it's for the best. He's a selfish, self-centred, arrogant man.
Though if there's one thing: he loves being loved more than he loves you.
But when you left, he realised he loved you more that he let you go.
He was no longer a loverman, just a man.
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Itoshi Rin
The ways in which you say my name, Have me wishin' I were gone
They ways that you say my name, have me runnin' on and on
Not too much, not too little.
How'd he describe his past relationship with you.
It was just right.
Where did it go wrong?
Was it when he stopped saying your name sweetly?
Or was it when you stopped cheering for him in his game?
It wasn't that, he still doesn't know why you both fell apart.
Though as cold as he is, he's as gentle as a flower on the inside.
When you started your midterms, he had a bouquet; the largest in the store possible.
He plopped it on your desk as he saw you tirelessly study your notes. Sighing, he made you some tea to calm your nerves.
"Rinnie, you didn't have to do this," Groggily said as you examined the bouquet to your left, "You didn't have to get me this…"
"But you deserve it."
A flush creeped in your cheeks when he blurted it out with no hesitation, did this loverboy love you to the moon and back this much? Oh how'd you tease him for this a billion times.
The bouquet was still as fresh as when you got them— it was already summer but he took good care of it.
His eyes watching your every move; the clicking sound of your pen, your frown as you tried to absorb the lesson and your oh so pretty eyes.
He could never get enough of this, he's wanted to see this sight every day, every night for the rest of his life.
Maybe marriage would do? But like all stories, not all are fairy tales.
Everyday until autumn he'd take you to a cafe you both liked. It was quiet and it smelled like coffee— the perfect combination.
Like all flowers do, the petals started to fall from the vase.
At this point of the relationship he was too busy to care about getting you flowers, or tending to your needs as he had his to attend to.
But, the relationship was happy… right?
He was oblivious, too naive to notice what was going on.
Though you were there, you wanted to fix things.
You'd bring him tiny trinkets from your work trips, a yummy cake from a nearby bakery or maybe some pair of cleats he was eyeing (though most of the time he already had bought it right after you gifted him one.)
The relationship was getting boring.
It was going nowhere.
Though none of you wanted to go anywhere.
Even though he'd hold you in a tight embrace, it felt cold. Was it the weather? Or was it just him?
The 'I love you's that'd slip from his lips often, stopped. There were no more random compliments or cute nicknames.
An occasional gift or two, though he was an idiot, he gives and gives and doesn't know how to take.
When winter came he was no longer begging you to warm up with him near the chimney or near the Christmas tree.
It was winter, his heart turned cold.
"Lets break up"
Adamancy dripped from his tone, he was serious about it.
"Why?"
Why?
"Because… I don't see this relationship going anywhere."
Your heart shattering into a million pieces, you wanted to punch his stupid face. How could he say that nonchalantly?
Though, it was true.
It wasn't going anywhere.
He knew it was for the better; he loved you too much to trap you in such a boring, loveless relationship.
Maybe one day, it will be spring all over again.
But your hand is holding another man's (or woman's).
He passed by another flower shop, he thinks he should buy you another bouquet again.
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Notes: I wrote this at 12 am (it's 2 am now). I apologise for any grammatical mistakes :(( super tired and i have an unfinished sci assignment. I dont wanana live anymoreee. Idk if any of u still remember me tho LOLOLOL.
If u do i'm sorry if i dropped some underwhelming work as a return to the bllk tumblr fandom ehe (no kinktober just heart wrenching angstober ^^)
Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡
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