#I've been thinking for the past week and I still can't quite find the right words to say
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IT'S NEVER OVER - PROLOGUE (sept. 2005)
summary: if anyone asked sid, he wouldn't say that he liked pittsburgh more after meeting nat. no, that would be absurd.
warnings: short and sweet! (none)
a/n: hi, hello! am i posting this without having finished it? yes. i don't know how long it's going to be but i'm slowly chipping away at it and i'm pretty excited about it. it might even be my favourite series thing i've done so far, and weirdly my first one? i've had the entire thing outlined for months but i've been too busy to even think about posting it, so...here you go! i can't promise posts for this will be regular because the chapters are so long, but i'll try my best to keep you posted! hope you enjoy (a series mastrlist will be out soon too so you can get the gist of where i'm at in the entire process) xo
sneak peak | pinterest board
(It started with music, but Nat didn’t know that.)
It was a total accident, a random encounter that Sidney couldn’t possibly have predicted – one that, without exaggerating, changed his life to an extent. On a whim, he’d decided to go into that coffee shop he’d walked past everyday for the past three weeks, and it was also on a whim he actually made it to the counter to order an uncharacteristic coffee – he was newly eighteen, being pulled in all sorts of sports-diet directions, the confinement of which kind of irked him, so to him, buying that coffee was a subtle rebellion.
It was also a complete accident that he’d wandered off to the right after taking his coffee from the counter, instead of left, or forwards, or even backwards.
Sidney wasn’t one to believe in fate or destiny: he believed those terms were too magical – they alluded to some other worldly forces coming into play, and he liked to stick to facts. Coincidences. Accidents. Nevertheless, he did find it almost inexplicable, the way that his life hurtled into a completely different route after a mere forty minutes inside a coffee shop that he’d just spontaneously decided to make a trip of. He couldn’t quite get his head around it all.
To him, it was a coincidence that he’d walked past her table. A coincidence that she happened to be blaring the only song he’d been able to listen to for the last four days. He’d barely made it three steps past her before he froze.
She was wearing those over-the-ear headphones, the ones with orange sponges from the 80s, plugged into the iPod that had come out a few years back. He recognised it because everyone that had one in his high school before he left never shut up about it. Sidney admittedly did own one at the time, but he never really felt the need to show it off – it was much easier than lugging around a cassette or CD player with songs burnt in.
The song still had him halting in his tracks and turning around, his body much further ahead than his brain because he had to steady his mug of coffee; his sharp actions had the liquid almost sloshing over the edge, but he managed to catch it just in time.
He wouldn’t have done either of those things: stop and turn, if it had been any other song he’d heard. He was just so taken aback by it – the exact, precise song.
The girl at the table didn’t pay him a single dime of attention when he froze, despite the fact that his hip was practically nudging her table. She wasn’t even looking in his direction, her eyes gazing out of the window on her right, skipping over empty faces as people walked past. It was clear she was supposed to be doing work of some sorts: there were textbooks, novels, and flashcards scattered across the entire table, a pencil case half emptied with pens strewn all over. She had a pen clutched in the fist she was resting her chin on, not caring for the study cards at all – entirely enamoured by the view.
Sidney followed her eyes. There wasn’t much to look at, just a street, and her chair was directly facing the side of a retail store, clothes and mannequins displayed in the window.
In hindsight, Sidney didn’t really know what compelled him to do what he did next.
He couldn’t tell if she was bored and just looking out, not paying attention to the music flowing into her ears, or if she was just so absorbed in what she was hearing that she couldn’t physically bring herself to think about her work – that she’d tuned out the outside world entirely.
What caught his attention the most was the crease between her brows. It drew him to look straight at her; an alluring combination of chestnut hair and pale eyes – though not too pale that they made him uneasy. She was also probably the only person in the establishment that was around his age.
She had impeccable music taste, if he did say so himself.
Yet, he couldn’t shake the inkling that this girl was wholly feeling the brilliance and soul-crushing heartache of Jeff Buckley’s genius – and he found himself hoping she was.
That was why he cleared his throat and took a small step to the other side of the table. He threw a quick glance over his shoulder, noting that the cafe was pretty busy, so he knew he could at least try to get away with what he was about to do.
He made sure to tilt his head up, because the hat covering his face would be nothing short of slightly suspicious in a public setting, and it wasn’t until he purposefully knocked into the chair that she flicked her eyes to look at him.
He held his breath, a moment when all they did was look at each other, until the crease in her brows disappeared and she reached to pause her music on her iPod, slowly sliding her earphones off so they rested around her neck.
“Hi.”
His assumptions had been correct. She was around his age – her voice was deeper than he’d originally anticipated – and when he found himself slightly closer than before, he was able to make out that she was studying for her SATs.
It was September.
“Hi.” He replied, forcing a smile that he hoped would convey the apology he felt for intruding on her personal time and in her personal space. Her clutter was all over the table, and he knew that if she was hopefully as kind to strangers as he hoped she’d to be, that it would be somewhat of a hassle to shove some of it away, “I’m really sorry, but there aren’t any other tables free. Would I be able to–”
“Oh, sure.” She interrupted, immediately going to reach to sweep a space clear for him over the other side of the table. Sidney watched with a mildly amused gaze; she didn’t seem to care for the way her flashcards seemed to mix themselves up, or the way her textbooks snapped shut and she lost her page.
She flashed him a welcoming, slightly embarrassed smile as she piled the books on top of each other, and before Sidney knew it, he was sitting in the chair opposite, accidentally knocking their knees together in the process, and sipping from his coffee mug. He fought to maintain the thankful smile on his face, despite the utterly bitter taste of the coffee that seemed to fester on his tongue.
No wonder he’d never tried coffee before, it tasted like dirt.
The girl broke a small chunk of a muffin off, a smile breaking out on her face as she fought a small laugh.
Sidney blushed, “I’m not a big coffee-fan.” He reasoned, shrugging.
“I can tell.” She pressed her lips together momentarily, looking down at the plate before turning her attention back to him. Sidney felt stunned at the colour of her eyes. He’d never seen grey eyes before, but hers seemed to balance more on the green side – only when the sun struck the side of her face, they turned a watery, clear blue. There was also a tinge of brown thrown in there.
What was that called? Heterochromia?
He felt his mouth dry, and before he could stop himself, he was taking another sip of his coffee, this time managing to control the urge to wince, “Thanks for letting me sit here.”
She shrugged, gathering the flashcards and lining them up, “It’s no problem. Sorry for the mess.”
He let his eyes wander over the books once more, the green ‘SATs’ letters jumping out at him, “You got an important date?”
The girl swallowed, not entirely understanding what he meant. That crease formed between her brows again, and she opened her mouth to question him, but Sidney beat her to it, a finger pointing at her stack of books.
She sighed, “Not entirely, they’re at the end of the school year, but one of my teachers gave us an assignment to get some revision resources done early.”
Sidney couldn’t say he understood her stress – it was something displayed across the planes of her face; evident when she looked rather tiredly at the stack of books, and hesitated at the flashcards, before throwing them to the side. She folded her arms across the table, then switched so that her hands were interlocked in front of her.
She looked as though she didn’t quite know what to do with herself, and Sidney couldn’t tell if it was because of the presence of a stranger, or if she was already feeling some sort of academic guilt for throwing her attention away from her studies for a couple of minutes.
He saw her jaw clench, and at that observation, the thought that maybe he was paying a little bit too much attention to her crossed his mind, so he turned his focus to the cup of coffee. He was beginning to feel its effects; his knee was shaking softly under the table and he could feel an influx of energy spark at his fingertips. Or maybe it wasn’t the coffee at all.
He hadn’t thought about hockey for five minutes.
He saw her turn her face towards him out of the corner of his eye, and he looked up, “What about you? Are you in school, or…?” She trailed off, her eyes skimming over the logo that had flashed itself from the safe and unzipped confines of his hoodie.
He felt his heart quicken at having been caught, worried that perhaps she’d shout out who he was – if she knew – across the entire cafe. He remained optimistic; she didn’t seem the type.
He cleared his throat, “Not anymore.” For some reason he hesitated. He could play off the logo as merchandise – he could be someone other than Sidney Crosby, the New Rookie of the Pens – or he could be honest. When he looked back at her, there was a challenge in her eyes, and Sidney knew then that she already knew who he was. “I just got drafted to the Pens for my first NHL season.”
She sighed, “Can I tell you something?”
Sidney furrowed his brows, his mouth tilting down in a smile. He was new to the whole ‘local celebrity’ deal, but this by far, is probably one of the least impressed reactions he’d ever had. She clearly knew he wasn’t in school, but had still taken the kind courtesy to ask him the question, despite the futility of it.
He nodded.
“I only know one Pens player.” Then she pointed to something out of the window, “That banner has been staring at me every week for the past three months.”
Sidney huffed a laugh, thinking she was joking, but followed her finger anyway. He was immediately faced with a street corner, tens of people walking past each other – he could even make out their voices if he concentrated hard enough, and it took a while to figure out what exactly she was pointing at, until his eyes settled on a billboard at least a block down.
He’d been told that for press reasons, the Pens had come up with the idea of a way of promoting him as a player, and a ‘person of Pittsburgh’, by plastering some action shots of him – still staged – around the city. He’d neglected to look up lately, fearing that if he did, he’d be faced with some images of himself, but he hadn’t escaped that entirely.
The billboard was small, and he wasn’t the only player on there, either, but he saw it nonetheless.
When he spun back around to look at her once more, the only thing that came out of his mouth was, “There’s two other players, not just me.”
She shrugged, “I was talking about Sergei Gonchar.”
Sidney felt the blush colour from his chest to his cheeks as he slowly put his hands over his face, consumed by humiliation. He felt himself smile into his hands when he heard the girl huff a snicker. He’d had quite a few people as of late kissing up to his ego, and apart from his teammates, she was the first one to really deliver a considerable blow – and he was thankful for that; that at least someone still had the ability to look past who he was and tease him like he was a normal person. He was aware of the irony that lay there.
He gathered himself, unabashedly removing his hands and displaying the creeping blush for her to see, and sticking his hand between them, “Sidney Crosby, rookie center for the Pittsburgh Penguins.”
She rolled her eyes, not commenting on the state of his cheeks, her smile fading slightly but still remaining, “I was joking, I know who you are.” She took his hand in hers, gripping it tightly, “Nat Brooks. Student.”
Sidney swallowed, his blush remaining for other reasons, and pulled his hand away, flexing it under the table, “Is Nat short for anything?”
“Natalia.”
“‘S very pretty.” He mumbled, and she smiled sweetly.
“Sidney’s very pretty, too. It suits you.”
Something clenched in his chest.
#sidney crosby x oc#sidney crosby fic#it's never over prologue#nhl fic#nhl series#sidney crosby imagine#sidney crosby oneshot#sidney crosby x reader
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curtain call
#mysta rias#nijisanji en#I've been thinking for the past week and I still can't quite find the right words to say#watching lxm and nijien grown over the past 2 years has been an absolute dream#in a lot of ways they were the ones who made it against impossible odds#and it felt like they were saying if they can make it so can you#thank you for everything#maybe delete later idk#odettedraws
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yandere boss when you find another job
warning: fem reader, yandere themes, obsessive behavior, abuse of power
At first, he notices a change in your demeanor, you do as you're told but you don't engage with him as much as you used to, the conversations you two had felt quite..personal to him, you two would talk in his office where no one would overhear or interfere, you even had inside jokes that only you two would understand, it felt special to him, so when conversations with you wouldn't go past five sentences alarms started going off in his head, did he say something to upset you? has one of your co-workers been bothering you? just tell him he can take care of it in the blink of an eye! it's not like it would be the first time he's done that for you. Perhaps your workload has been too exhausting? he'll happily give you a vacation if it means you'll treat him how you used to
This man reflects for a whole day to make he didn't upset you in any way, he gives you simple errands and prolongs your breaks but that only seems to spark even more of an unpleasant emotion in you, he replays all the security cameras in the office to see if someone has been harassing you which doesn't turn out to be the case but it does lead him to notice you being on the phone more often than usual and his mind immediately goes south, has she gotten a boyfriend? when? how have I not noticed this..
He backtracks all your calls to find out who you've been talking with so he can deal with them properly but he finds that most of your calls have been with another company..what would you need from another company? a job application? you were planning on leaving him?!
He becomes so paranoid, he goes to every length possible, he makes everyone in the office guilt trip you into staying with comments on how work would suck if you weren't there, how they would have a crisis every week if you weren't there to handle it quickly and swiftly every time, just what would they do without you?
He almost goes as far as giving you a bad reputation in the company you were planning on applying to when it finally happened..
You walking into his office with the most serious face you've had since he hired you, he listens to you utter the words "I'm resigning" from your beautiful soft lips and the rest is turning into muffled mumbles in his brain because the only thing he's thinking of is locking you both in his office forever where he can keep his eye on you, where you can't run away from him.
You finish the speech you so clearly prepared and exhaled while looking at him expectantly, guilt written all over your face, he doesn't say anything for a few seconds, the silence filling up his spacious office until it's broken with a deep chuckle, your shoulders slump down, that definitely wasn't the reaction you were expecting, he rises from his chair and starts to make his way around the desk to where your standing, the sound of his hitting the floor with every step only makes you more nervous "what could you possibly want from another company love? everything you need is right here!" you shift your weight to step back "I..well I already told you why-" he steps closer invading your space "ah yes you mentioned it but that's simply not good enough, see, all the reasons you've mentioned I can take care of I still fail to see why you would go searching for that somewhere else, could it be me you're escaping?" you're eyes blow wide "no! of course not..look, sir, I'm sorry but even though I know you're fully capable of providing me with what I'm searching for but I've already decided..working with you has been-" you jolt as he slams his hand on the desk trapping you against it, his head hangs low for a second before he lifts it and your heart skips a beat at the look in his eyes, you've never seen him look at you that way the entire time you've worked here " ah..your behavior over the past two weeks makes sense now, you were too guilty to act the way you usually do because you knew it was special too! and you just couldn't bring yourself to do that when you were planning on leaving..oh you sweet little thing, it must have been so hard to act so cold towards someone so special to you but alas, your efforts are in vain because you're not going anywhere my love.."
#yandere boss#yandere boss x reader#yandere oc#yandere x reader#yandere blog#yandere character#male yandere#yandere boss headcanon#I should be sleeping#inspiration comes when you're abt to pass out ig lol#yandere fanfiction#I lowkey hate this TT#tw yandere#fem reader
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The Author*
Summary: You just moved into your new apartment and your new neighbour turns out to be the author of the smutty book you're currently reading.
Pairing: Author/Neighbour!Harry x Reader
Word count: 2.8K
Warnings: Smut, basically strangers, it's cute tho.
Taglist: @justmystyles @bitchybabyharry @harrysslut7 @swiftmendeshoran @lucasandharold @harrysbabycherry @htaylor18 @rose-garden-dreamz @myalovesharry @mellamolayla @hsonlyangelxo @yousunshineyoutempter @heartateasee @blueheisenbergtragedy @bikestyles @bohemianrhapsody86
Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist! ��
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The first few weeks of living in your new apartment were, thankfully, relatively uneventful. You had managed to find a new job and keep your finances balanced, and the building you were in seemed to be relatively clean and well-maintained, and you'd never seen anyone who you thought would have a problem with you.
You travel back and forth between work by bus, not really feeling the need to have a car in the big city. Plus it gives you the perfect opportunity to read a good book, something you love but always slips in the cracks of your busy life.
It's the last day of work before your weekend, and you're on the bus home deep into a chapter of the book you're reading, everything is going perfectly fine. You're excited for the weekend as you still have a few boxes to unpack and some cleaning and organization that needs to get done.
You've been so into the book you're reading, that when you realize the bus just drove past your usual stop, you're shocked.
“Oh, shit.” You mutter under your breath as you try to think of what to do. You could just walk the few blocks back to your stop, the weather is fine anyway. You press the button, the bus comes to a halt at the next stop and you step off, thanking the driver for the ride. You begin walking, a tote on your shoulder and the book still in hand.
The streets aren't busy, it's not a particularly busy part of the city, and it's a beautiful afternoon. The sun is shining and there is a slight breeze, but not too much. You can hear the birds chirping and see the small kids playing in the nearby park, all in all a nice day.
You reach your building after a few minutes of walking, and the front door is unlocked and ajar, so you let yourself in and start to head towards the stairwell. When you reach the right floor, you spot your neighbour coming out of their apartment, the one you had seen the first night you'd arrived.
He was tall, much taller than you, and wearing a t-shirt that clung to his form nicely, and his sleeves were rolled up to reveal a collection of tattoos that ran all the way down to his hands. His hair was curly and looked incredibly soft and you wanted nothing more than to run your hands through it. His jaw was chiselled, sporting a stubble. He looked good, really good.
“Hey.” He says, his voice deep and smooth, and you can't help but notice the accent he has. “I haven't seen you around before, are you the new neighbour?”
“Yeah, I moved in a couple of weeks ago.” You reply. “My name is Y/N.”
“It's nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Harry.” He extends a hand and you shake it. You notice the rings on his fingers, they're large, but not tacky, and they suit him. He looks at the book in your other hand and chuckles, “A reader, eh?”
“Yeah, I've always loved reading, and this one is really good, I've been wanting to finish it, so I'm glad I missed my stop, I was so deep into the story I hadn't even noticed.” You chuckle and it's then when Harry notices what book you have in hand, his book.
“Hey, wait a second. You're reading my book!” He points at the cover.
“Oh, you wrote this? Well, now I feel kinda embarrassed.” You say, laughing, trying to hide the embarrassment and your blushing cheeks. The story is based around quite a few explicit sex scenes, and you're hoping he won't bring it up.
“I'm just messing with ya. I'm actually quite flattered.” He chuckles.
You talk for a few more minutes and then go on your way. He is funny and kind, and his smile is one that you know you would kill to see. His eyes are bright, and you love the way his curls move when he laughs.
As you make your way to your apartment, you're smiling to yourself, thinking about how good-looking your new neighbour is. He seems kind and easy-going, and you wonder if you'll ever be able to spend more time with him.
When you get to your apartment, you drop your things, kick off your shoes and throw yourself onto your sofa. You sigh and close your eyes, taking a moment to process the day, and what just happened.
Knowing the man who came up with those incredible sex scenes was living right across the hall from you, is driving you absolutely wild. You're not sure why you're reacting the way you are, you have no business thinking about him like that. But he's just so fucking hot, and his accent, and his body, and the way his arms looked...
You feel your skin begin to heat up, and a tingling between your legs, and before you even realise, your hand is down the front of your jeans. You start touching yourself, and all you can think of is him, and the words he has written. Your breathing becomes heavier and you close your eyes, imagining him doing these things to you, his lips and hands exploring your body.
You're abruptly ripped from your fantasy by a knock on the door, and you jump and scramble to pull your hand from your pants.
“Fuck.” You hiss under your breath, and run your fingers through your hair, trying to get it to look presentable. You look through the peephole in the door and your eyes widen, there stands Harry, and he's holding a bottle of wine. You take a deep breath and open the door, trying to appear as composed as possible.
“Oh, hi.” You say, smiling, but you're nervous. “What can I do for you, Harry?”
“Hey, Y/N, I just came to drop off some wine.” He seems nervous. “I figured since you're new it'd be a nice thing to do.”
“That's very sweet of you, thank you.”
“Well, I hope you enjoy it.” He turns and starts to walk back to his own apartment.
“Harry, wait!” You shout, and he turns back to face you.
“Yes, love?” His British accent thick.
“Do you want to come in? I'll pour us some wine.”
“Yeah, that'd be lovely.” He follows you into the apartment. You take the wine from him and pour two glasses. You hand him the glass and sit down next to him, making sure to keep some distance between you.
You chat for a while, sipping your wine, and you find yourself enjoying his company. He tells you about his writing and how he's working on another book, and that he's glad that you've enjoyed the one he already published. You tell him about yourself, about how much you love to read, and he tells you he'll send you copies of the other books he has published.
The wine is flowing, and so is the conversation. Harry is really nice, and you find yourself wanting to spend more time with him. The bottle is empty and your cheeks are flushed, but not just from the alcohol.
“Well, I should probably head home.” Harry says, and the disappointment is evident on your face.
“No, don't leave yet.” You protest, and his eyes lock with yours. “I'm enjoying your company.”
“Well, alright. I can stay a bit longer.” He says, smiling.
You're not sure why, but you feel compelled to lean forward and kiss him. Maybe it's the wine, or the fact that he's just so fucking hot, or the stories and sex scenes in the book he had written. You're not sure, but something is driving you crazy, and you need him. Your lips crash against his, and it takes a moment for him to register what's happening. But when he kisses back, your heart flutters and your stomach feels like it's doing somersaults.
You pull away and stare at him for a moment, and he looks at you with a mixture of lust and surprise in his eyes.
“Sorry.” You mutter. “I shouldn't have-“
He cuts you off by leaning in and kissing you again, this time deeper, and more passionate. His tongue finds its way into your mouth and your tongues collide, tasting each other. He pulls away and stares into your eyes, his lips slightly swollen and a smirk on his face.
“You're a good kisser.” He whispers.
“So are you.” You reply, a smile spreading across your lips.
He leans back in, kissing you more roughly than before, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. He begins trailing kisses down your neck and jawline, eliciting small whimpers and moans from you. He makes his way down your collarbones and chest, then moves back up to your ear.
“Y/N.” He whispers. “May I take this off?”
“Please.” You reply, almost begging. He grabs the bottom of your shirt and pulls it over your head, revealing the lacy bra underneath. He stares at your breasts for a moment, drinking them in, before he dives down and sucks at the exposed skin. He moves to your other breast and does the same, and his other hand begins to unbutton his own shirt.
He removes his shirt, revealing his tattoos, and you can't help but stare. He has a slim yet muscular frame, and his arms are toned and strong. You trace the ink on his chest and torso with your fingers, and he watches your reaction with a smirk.
He stands up and grabs your waist, picking you up and setting you on the kitchen island. He leans down and kisses you again, and you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. You can feel his erection through his jeans, and it's big, really big. You can't help but let out a moan at the thought of him fucking you with that monster.
He reaches around and unclasps your bra, pulling it off and exposing your breasts. He leans down and takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking and nibbling at it, while his hand plays with the other. You throw your head back and moan, grabbing at his curls and tugging slightly. He lets out a groan and grinds his hips against yours, and you can feel his cock harden even more.
“Harry.” You moan. “I want you.”
He removes his mouth from your breast and looks up at you, his eyes dark with lust.
“Are you sure, love?” He asks, his accent sending shivers down your spine.
“Yes, please.” You beg, and he smirks. You're so eager and it's making him impossibly harder. He undoes his belt and his pants fall to the floor. You stare at his cock hiding in his black boxers, and your mouth waters. It's long and thick, and you know that it's going to feel amazing. He pulls off his boxers, and his cock springs free, standing proudly.
He grabs your jeans and tugs them down, revealing the matching pair of lace panties. He groans as he looks at you, and his fingers hook under the fabric, pulling them down your legs.
“Fuck, Y/N, you're so fucking beautiful.” He breathes, taking in the sight of you. You're completely naked and exposed in front of him, and he can't help but marvel at how perfect you are. He leans in and kisses you, and you wrap your legs around him, pulling him close. He grinds his hips against yours, his cock rubbing against your wetness. He's teasing you, and it's driving you insane.
“Harry, please.” You whine, and he smirks.
“Please, what?” He teases, continuing his slow grinding.
“Please fuck me.”
He groans and searches for his wallet, finding a condom. He slides it on and lines his cock up with your entrance, pushing in slowly. He fills you up completely, and you cry out, arching your back. He lets you adjust to his size before he starts moving. He sets a slow and steady pace, and you're moaning and whimpering.
“Fuck, Harry.” You gasp. “You're so big.”
“You feel so fucking good, Y/N.” He groans. He thrusts his hips, his cock sliding in and out of you. You reach down and begin rubbing your clit, and the extra stimulation has you seeing stars. No wonder the smut in his books is good, the man himself knows exactly what he's doing.
His pace quickens and his breathing becomes laboured. He leans down and captures your lips in a searing kiss, swallowing the sounds that escape your mouth. He picks you up from the countertop and carries you over to the sofa, never breaking his rhythm. He lays you down and continues pounding into you, and you can feel the pressure building.
“Harry, I'm so close.” You moan, and he reaches down to rub your clit.
“Come for me, baby.” He growls, and that's all it takes for you to come undone. You scream his name and arch your back as the orgasm rips through you. He keeps his pace, thrusting harder and faster, prolonging your pleasure.
When you come down from your high, he pulls out and grabs your legs, flipping you onto your stomach. He positions himself behind you and pushes back in, causing you both to moan. His hands grip your hips and he begins pounding into you, and his grunts fill the room.
“Fuck, Y/N, you're so fucking tight.” He groans, his voice thick with lust.
“Oh, god, Harry.” You moan. The sound of skin slapping skin and the scent of sex fills the air. He reaches around and starts rubbing your clit, and the pleasure is almost too much for you to handle. He thrusts his hips, filling you completely.
“Come for me again, love.” He commands.
“Yes, Harry, fuck.” You cry out, your walls tightening around his cock. You know that anyone passing by your apartment would definitely hear the sounds of sex, but you don't care. The only thing that matters is the feeling of him inside you.
You come undone once more, and he fucks you through your orgasm. He moans, his thrusts becoming erratic. You turn him on so much, he never wants to stop fucking you. His cock slides out of you and he pulls you back up, turning you around to face him.
“I want you to ride me, love.” He growls, his voice deep and rough. You straddle him, your wetness coating his cock. He positions himself at your entrance and you slide down, moaning as he fills you again. You start moving, your hips rocking against his.
“Fuck, Y/N, you feel so good.” He moans, and his hands grip your hips, guiding you. Your pace quickens and you can feel yourself getting close again. You look at him and his eyes are filled with lust and desire, and it's the hottest thing you've ever seen.
Harry's lips crash into yours and his hands tangle in your hair. He breaks the kiss and his mouth moves to your neck, sucking and biting at the delicate skin. You let out a string of curses and he groans against your neck. He leaves a trail of kisses down to your chest, taking one of your nipples into his mouth. He nibbles and sucks on it, and his tongue swirls around it.
“Fuck, Harry.” You moan.
“Do you like that, love?” He asks, looking up at you with dark eyes.
“Yes, fuck, yes.” You reply, your voice wavering.
He continues his assault on your breasts, switching from one to the other. Your breathing is heavy and you can feel the pressure building again.
“Harry, I'm so close.” You breathe.
“Me too, baby. Come for me.” He growls, his fingers rubbing your clit. The combination of his cock filling you his mouth on your nipples and his fingers stroking your clit sends you over the edge, and you scream his name, your nails digging into his shoulders.
Your walls clench around his cock and he loses it, his thrusts become more erratic, and his breathing is laboured. He moans your name, and the sound is like music to your ears. He comes hard, and his cock pulses inside you.
You both collapse, breathing heavily. Your heart is racing and you can't believe what just happened. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. You lie there in his arms, trying to catch your breath, the scent of sex and sweat filling the air.
“Fuck, Y/N.” Harry says, breaking the silence. “That was incredible.”
“Mhm, you're far better than your books.”
“Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.” He chuckles. You snuggle into his arms, and he holds you tight. You've never felt so safe and secure in someone's arms, and you know that you're already falling for him.
#harry styles#allthelovehes#harry#styles#harry smut#fanfic#smut#imagine#one shot#fanfiction#harrystylesfanfiction#harryxreader#harry x reader#harry styles x reader#harry x you#harryxyou#harry x yn#harryxyn#writing#hot#author!harry#Author#author harry#author harry styles#neighbour#neighbours#neighbour!harry#neighbor#neighbors#neighbor!harry
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i’ve been craving this for ages and finally decided to request upon it!!
stray kids x little sister reader (she’s about 17/18) she has been having a secret relationship with one of her school teachers called Mr. Kang (name inspo from song kang) and she has a “sleepover” arranged with her friend for a week.. on day 3 the boys went for a group walk and saw y/ns friend with her family but without y/n. The boys go over and find out that you were never staying with her.. They check your location after panicking only to realise it’s your teacher Mr. Kang’s house. They log into your computer and find all the messages between Kang and you. They are infuriated, when you return back.. let’s just say it’s hell reincarnated.
Thank you daddy- I mean Mr.Kang.
Part one.
**
"We can't keep doing this.." she whispered through her heavy breathes. Her skirt was slowly riding up her thigh as her pink laced panties were slowly being exposed.
Her face was red due to the heat from the make out session she was just in. Her shirt now unbuttoned halfway exposing her bra.
"What do you mean baby," he whispered in her ear as his hands slowly wondered around her body. "Jump for me princess,"
She wasn't thinking at all. The thought of being pleasured by him was all she could think about. Her legs wrapped around his torso as he slowly put her on top of the desk, knocking down books and papers to the floor.
"My brothers are gonna find out about us soon Mr.Kang. They'll kill me-"
"Shhh, we'll worry about that later bunny," he hushed her while slowly unzipping her skirt.
"Mr.Kang just- uhm," a moan escaped her mouth as his lips made contact with her sensitive skin. She was a mess. Her hair was everywhere and the hickeys that she received from a few hours ago were on display.
She felt good. She loved him. She loved being with him. She loved every moment with him but it was so wrong. Their relationship was so wrong. It had been 3 months. They had been going for 3 months and she still wasn't caught. It was baffling.
Their relationship only began during summer. She had no idea that he would end up being her teacher. They had met at one of the concerts the boys were doing. He had come with his friends and he really didn't want to go but his friends had convinced him too and when he set his eyes on her, he couldn't look away. She was beautiful and he knew he wanted her.
"Do you feel-" his deep voice was interrupted by a loud knocking. Y/n's eyes widen as she jumped off the desk and started to fix herself.
"Who is it?" He called as he too tried to fix himself.
"Mr.Kang? It's Chan. Y/n's brother," a familiar voice replied. He looked over at her small body and saw she had managed to get herself together quite quickly and started to collect her books.
"Come in!"
The door opened and a happy looking Chan walked in. His face was glowing and his hair was covered with a beanie meaning he had just come from the studio.
He quickly said a quick hello before helping Y/n grab her bag. "I hope you guys had a good study session. Thank you so much for watching her Sir," he thanks the older man.
"Oh, you don't need to thank me. She was an Angel and I hope, with all the studying we've done, she'll pass the next quiz," he had a smirk on his face. A smirk Y/n hated. He knew what he was doing.
"Well, I'll make sure to make her study more. Other than that. Have a good weekend," Chan gave him one last smile before waving goodbye and leaving the room with Y/n right behind her.
**
"Why do you look so red?" Chan asked when they got into the car. He had been watching and analyzing her for the past 5 minutes. "Do you not feel well?" He asked.
"No Channie, it was just really hot in there and I've been studying for hours," she sighed and played with her skirt.
"Oh, makes sense. Do you wanna eat something? We can stop for some hotpot-"
"No actually, I'm really tired Oppa. Maybe later in the evening?"
"Yeah that sounds fine, we can go with the boys," he replied and got his phone out of his pocket to text the family group chat.
They had a family group chat because once when they were traveling for one of their tours, I.N and Han thought it would be a good idea to disappear from the group which led them to missing their flight and Chan was so mad he made sure to make a group chat for whenever they had to split up.
Y/n looked out the window. The past few hours running through her mind. The thoughts making her feel wet under there as she thought about the way Mr.Kang would touch her, make her feel good, make her feel like-
One message:
Come over to mines tomorrow. Sleepover😘
The butterflies in her stomach started to dance once again. Her tummy doing somersaults making her feel all giddy and excited.
"Oppa? Can I go to Franchesca's tomorrow for a sleepover?" She looked over at her brother.
"Again? You've been going over there so much! We barley get time with you," he pouted earning a chuckle from Y/n.
"It's just for one night, I'll be back in the morning and we can hangout. All of us,"
He didn't look convinced but yet again, who was he to say no? This was his little sister. Their only girl in the family.
"Fine but make sure to tell Leeknow. You know how he gets," he shrugged and turned back his phone.
"Okay okay! Thank you, thank you," she giggled and jumped on him while kissing him all over his face.
"Okay okay, enough," he playfully rolled his eyes and raffled her hair.
**
Her night consisted of watching the boys do practice and have a big fat nap on the couch as they figured out the music part of it all. This was a routine most of the times after school. One of the boys would pick her up and then she would come over to the JYP building and watch the boys practice or record they even made her her own little corner in the 3 racha studio where she could do her homework and decorate it is much as she wanted to.
They really did love their little sister.
"Okay shall we go?" Han asked her since he was the last one closing up the studio. All the other boys were already down stairs waiting for them.
She grabbed her sweater and nodded, "yeah let's go jisung, I'm hungry," she groaned and carried her bag on one shoulder.
He chuckled and locked the doors and quickly made their way downstairs.
When they arrived at the restaurant and started to eat. Chan brought up the sleepover which leeknow was not so happy about.
"I don't, I just don't like them. I don't like their lifestyle and you've been over there too much jagi," he explained as he picked up the chopsticks.
"Please leeknow, she literally comes over all the time,"
"Yeah I know but I don't have a good feeling about this weekend, my older brother instincts are tingling," he looked over at the other boys trying to get some support.
"She'll be gone for one night Hyung, just let her go," Changbin backs her up. He thought about it for a bit before finally agreeing but only on one condition.
"You have to call me when you get there and I have to speak to her parents,"
Busted.
She giggled nervously before nodding, "Ofcourse min, I will. I promise," she played with her ring. A thing she only does when she's nervous and from the corner of Hyunjin's eyes, he noticed instantly and he knew for a fact something fishy was going on.
"So this sleepover...is it just the two of you?" Hyunjin asked while taking a sip from his cocktail.
"Yeah it will be, we're thinking of watching a movie-"
"What movie?" He cut her off quickly. "And what time will you leave tomorrow?"
"Hyung, chill. What's going on?" Han laughed and shoved him a little.
"Nothing...just curious," he shrugged and lifted one eyebrow. The restaurant was a bit empty and the service was good so when the waitress interrupted their conversation by giving them their bill she was so thankful because the conversation was no forgotten about.
**
"I just know it Changbin, I know she's lying about something," Hyunjin was pacing back and forth in the living room. Half the house was asleep and most of the boys were in their rooms.
Hyunjin and Changbin had decided to stay up and watch a movie. Leaving them alone in the living room.
"Why do you think she would lie about a sleepover Jinnie? I mean surely she wouldn't lie to us about that,"
"But Changbin, you know how suspicious she's been acting. Always over at Franchesca's. Staying for after school activities. Always coming home late. Changbin it's obvious she's doing something behind our backs,"
"Have you talked of Chan about it?" He asked while slowly taking a sip out of his mug.
"No, I just thought about it while we were at dinner. I need solid proof because if I tell Chan, he'll go absolutely crazy,"
"You're right, maybe we can check her phone while she's sleeping or something," Changbin suggested.
"Do you know her password?"
"No but she keeps it in her journal and I know where that is-"
"Her journal! Changbin that's it! We need to read her journal. Maybe she put down what she's doing in there," he whisper-shouted.
"Are you crazy?!" He whispered back, "that's like intruding her privacy Hyunjin! What if we don't find anything at all then it'll be a waste and she'll be mad,"
"I know I'm not wrong Binnie! I can feel it,"
"I hope you're right because if she finds out, we'll be the worst brothers of the century," he sighed and massaged his temples.
**
"Make sure to call if you need anything, okay?" Leeknow gave her assurance as he kissed her goodbye.
"And don't eat anything your not used too or don't know about!" Chan added and gave her a hug.
"I won't Oppa," she giggled and waved goodbye as she made her way to the car where the driver awaited her.
Once they saw the car drive away everyone disappeared doing their own thing while Hyunjin and Chan where on a mission. A big mission.
They went straight to her room and started looking for a journal.
"This feels so wrong," Changbin said as he opened and closed drawers.
"I know Hyung but we have too," he replied quickly and looked through her closet. It was long until they found out and it actually made Hyunjin laugh at the fact that their little sister sucked when it came to hiding her stuff from them.
"I found it!" He yelped and pulled out the book. It was old and quite beaten up but that didn't matter at all. Hyunjin made sure to remind himself to buy her a new one later.
"Okay! What does it say? What does it say?!" Changbin shrieked excitedly.
They sat on her bed and started to go through the book. Page by page by page. It was hours and hours reading boring things about highschool and boys and drama.
Hyunjin was about to run mad but Changbin was eating all the drama up. He was actually impressed at how interesting their little sisters life was.
"We're never going to find anything!" Hyunjin groaned when he looked at the time.
"I mean we can skip the parts? When did she start acting suspicious?"
"I'll say like 2-3 months ago, I don't know! What do you think?"
"I think it started during summer," Changbin commented.
"Then let's go look from there," Hyunjin started to skip the pages until finally.
September 27th 2023.
**
“….and we’re going to be making cookies. I just really hope everything goes well and my brothers don’t find out about this. Wish me luck!” Hyunjin slammed the book shut after finishing the last sentence.
He looked up at the boys who were listening to everything. His blood was boiling as he looked over at Changbin who was equally as angry.
They were shocked and traumatized.
What the hell was Y/n thinking?
#skz imagines#skz comfort#skz x reader#skz angst#skz fluff#skz x y/n#skz x you#skz drabbles#skz stay#stray kids drabbles#stray kids#stray kids x y/n#straykids x reader#stray kids angst#stray kids fluff#stray kids fanfic#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#bangchansgfblog
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Artists and Muses
Requested by: @dreampissybaby
Request: "Hi! I was hoping you could write a request, please ignore this if you don't feel comfortable writing this. Alina introducing shy!reader to Nikolai. and she's just like quiet and in awe, but Nikolai loves. Like it took Alina three weeks to get reader to smile at her and it takes Nikolai 15 minutes to make her smile. And she feels super comfortable with him"
A/N: this is pure heartwarming fluff, though I added a lil twist to make it more exciting if that's okay. (The twist being Nikolai and reader were friends, I know, what a shock.)
Your time at the Spinning Wheel seemed to blend into one, long moment. You didn't spoke to anyone if it wasn't nessecary. Mostly because you didn't know what to say, but also because you were never the type to make small talk. You always had a hard time opening up to people, or just talk to someone without getting nervous about what you should or shouldn't say. You were shy in the sense that you favored comfortable silence over pointless conversation.
When the doors to the Spinning Wheel opened, you didn't look up to see who it was. Many people came in for the past week, and you felt less and less hopeful when you realized nor Alina, nor Mal was among them. As you walked down the big entrance hall to find more bandages, a familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.
"Y/N?" You heard a woman say and when you turned, you saw Alina standing at the entrance, Mal right next to her. "Y/N!" She shouted and made a run towards you. You didn't know what took a hold of you, but you began running too, and the two of you met in the middle with a crushing hug.
The two of you squeezed each other with a painful grip, before another voice spoke up. "Can I have my girl back now?" Mal said with a smile and the two girl made space for him to hug all of them.
You basked in their warmth, before you broke the hug. "I can't believe you're here! I almost began to think that you..." You swalloed before you continued with a head shake. "It doesn't matter now. How did you get here anyway?"
"We bargained our way onto Sturmhond's ship, then found the Sea Whip and I got my second amplifier to finally end Kirigan, then we got here on a flying ship which ended with a shipwreck from the sky, and we found out that Sturmhond is secretly-"
"Nikolai Lantsov." You whispered as you looked behind them to see him step through the doors. You watched him with a mix of shock and amazement. So he's the one who saved your friends?
Alina noticed the way you stared at him, and she smiled briefly at Mal before taking your arm in hers and leading the two of you to him. "I'd like you to meet the person who saved and then betrayed us."
"Betray? That's a harsh word. And if I remember correctly, I got my fare share of punishment for it. Still hurts by the way," Nikolai pointed to the side of his face and Alina rolled her eyes at him.
"And who is that pretty lady next to you?" Nikolai asked all of a sudden and turned his head to look at you. You began placing yourself behind Alina, but she was quick to hold you next to her, where he could see you.
"Y/N, this is Nikolai, Nikolai this is Y/N, my and Mal's best friend. She's who I told you about, who helped me escape in secret. Also, an excellent storyteller." You looked at her with wide eyes, pleading to let you go, but she just sweetly smiled back at you.
"Y/N? I've been looking for you for quite some time now. I suppose you escaped with Alina, then." Nikolai extended his hand for you to shake and you accepted it. After you left go of his familiar warmth, you clasped both of your hands behind your back. You nodded in agreement.
"That's why you're here." He smiled at you, but your face remained neutral, looking at him with curiosity. "I don't want to sound like the flirt everyone seems to make me out to be, but I don't forget a face such as yours, Gorgeous." He exaggerated on the last word and it made you chuckle.
You smiled as you questioned him. "Are you sure that you're not a flirt? You seem like the biggest one, Your Higness." Your smile didn't falter as he looked back at you with amusement. "That's the worst accusation I've ever heard about myself, and believe me, I've heart quite a lot of nasty things." He said and you chuckled again.
Alina looked at the two of you with wide eyes as she tried to piece together what was happening. You connected with the prince under mere seconds. What took Alina almost three weeks to achieve, it took Nikolai only one minute to make you smile and talk to him.
Mal came to stand next to Alina and the couple watched you and Nikolai smile and laugh at each other, with genuine curiosity and confusion. They were trying to figure out the connection between you, because they didn't think that their shy friend would randomly have a conversation with the Prince.
They both noticed that you were quick to smile at him, even though you still didn't talk that much, but definitely more than you used to. They also noticed the look in Nikolai's eyes as he noticed your small movements, hoping to get a message from those, if not your words.
"This might be a wrong time and place to ask this, but I'm a naturally curious person as you know, so my question is, would you be willing to tell one of your infamous tales? I never heard a single one, while I was in the Palace." Nikolai asked you, and the question made the smile falter from your face.
For once in your life, you didn't think about the words that came out of your mouth as you answered. "There never will be a good time for this, Nikolai. Might as well do it sooner than later. Who knows when will be the next time we can enjoy our lives, without constantly worrying if the next day will come?"
Nikolai looked back at you with a newfound amazement as he looked at you. Your words certainly made an impact on him, because you were quick to look away from his intense stare, and onto the floor. You were about to excuse yourself and go away, but then Nikolai spoke up with a sweet voice.
"You've changed since the last time I saw you. You became a little more spontaneous. I was curious before, but now I'm desperate to finally talk to you." He said and you stared back at him for a few seconds, before you lightly smiled at him.
"And when should we-" Your words were interrupted by one of the Grishas, an Inferni who you've been helping in the last week.
"Y/N! I need your help! Could you come with me real quick?" She asked and with an apologetic look you nodded to Nikolai, and left with the Inferni.
------------Later at Night-----------
It wasn't until midnight that you met Nikolai again. You bid goodnight to Alina and Mal, after the three of you caught up on the past few weeks, annoying Mal to the point he almost went to ask Tamar to execute him. Twice.
You were strolling through the halls and quickly regretted not borrowing the coat Mal handed to you. The halls were cold and you only had your long sleeved, blue dress on you. Sure, you had a thin nightgown under it, but it was a sorry excuse for warmth.
You went down another corridor, when all of a sudden, the doors next to you opened, revealing a muscled chest buried in a thick green robe. After you were done studying his chest, you looked up to see a smirking Nikolai looking back at you. You quickly turned your head away from him, hiding your flushed face.
"Nice to see you too," Nikolai chuckled and from the corner of your eye, you saw him tying the robe in front of his chest, covering up the muscles. He closed the door behind him and pointed forward, indicating a walk.
He fell in line next to you, as you tried to think of something to say. You always felt comfortable in his presence, that wasn't a problem, but you were quite nervous after seeing his really-not-so-bad muscles. You never knew what lied beneath those shirts and waistcoats while you worked at the Palace.
"You know that you can talk to me, right? You don't have to be nervous about saying something wrong," Nikolai softly said and you thankfully looked at him.
After a few more seconds of silence, Nikolai stopped you dead in your tracks with stepping in front of you. You almost collided with him, had he not took a step back to make a little space between you two.
"This might come off like I'm pressuring you, but I'm dying to know, and you know that I'm not exactly the most patient person." Nikolai quickly said, and you opened your mouth to question him, but he was quick to cut you off.
"I know that I have no business asking this, especially right now, but where have you been?" He asked with genuine concern. "For the last year I was asking about you, but you vanished into thin air. I mean, with Kirigan and the attacks I understand why one might go and-"
"You asked about me?" You asked on a quiet voice, and it made Nikolai look at you like you just told him the sky is green. "Of course I did. I even tried to locate you, but it was like your entire being got sweeped off the land."
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, amd you stared at him in shock. Did you really mean that much to him? Did he really try to found you of all people, during this war?
"But why?" You whispered and now it was Nikolai's turn to look at you in shock. "Why?" He breathlessly chuckled. "Why wouldn't I? You're the reason I did what I did in the last year. You kept me company while I sneeked out of the Palace, and quite honestly your words captivated me right then and there. You changed my entire perspective on everything I knew about Ravka and its people."
You looked at him with even more bewilderment than before, but took a risky step towards him, your eyes not leaving his. "And?" You asked on a soft voice, slightly tilting your head.
"And?" Nikolai asked back, and let out a slow breath before responding. "And I couldn't stop thinking about you. You were in my dreams, in my head, in the wind, you were everywhere. I couldn't stop imagining the moment I finally met you again. I could've even painted it if I had the talent for it." He swallowed as he looked down to his feet, like he was nervous.
You felt your breath get caught in your throat and you put a hand over your heart, while the other hugged your stomach. The nerves in your belly made your stomach turn in anticipation as you waited.
When Nikolai finnaly looked at you, you saw nothing but raw emotions in his eyes. Sincerity, pain and love. Yes, definitely love.
"I could write you poetry, I could paint you a hundred times, I could sing endless love songs to you. But I won't. I am no artist, Y/N." He closed that last remaining inch between the two of you and leaned closer to you, and you could feel his breath on your skin.
"Even if I'm a prince, even if I'm a bastard son, even if I'm a privateer, you are my muse. I am not an artist, but you are my muse, moye solnyshko."
[A/N: translation=my Sunshine]
His words made your heart practically burst out of your chest. You let your arms fall next to you, and took a quick look between Nikolai and his lips. Oh, to kiss him for just one moment. Would it be sweet like honey? Would it be soft like satin? Would it spin your head? You'd have to find out to know that.
"Can you," you started but the words seemed to die in your throat. Don't do this now. "I want you to," You whispered and despite what Nikolai said before, he stood there patiently, waiting for you to say what you wanted.
"Use your beautiful words, beautiful," Nikolai whispered and it was the only thing you needed to end the tension.
"I need you to kiss me." And within a second his lips were on yours. It was more than you expected. It was soft and warm, like a hug in the middle of winter. Nikolai was slow, like he was afraid you were going to vanish again if he let you go.
His hands found their way around your shoulders, and he hugged you close to himself. You clasped your hands behind his neck, keeping him from even attempting to pull away.
You had to break the kiss because you were running out of air, and the two of you panted as you tried to catch your breath. You looked at Nikolai with pure admiration, still not believing he spent an entire year looking for you, dreaming of you, thinking of you.
It made all of your sleepless night worth it. The nights you spent theorizing about where he could be, what could he be doing, if he even remembered you. This single kiss made this last year hurt a little less.
You were about to pull him in for another kiss, when a familiar voice interrupted you.
"Y/N, I've been looking for you every-" Alina said but when he saw the situation you and Nikolai were in, she quickly cleared hear throat. "Saints, I'm-I'm sorry for interrupting." She said. "I, uh, need Y/N for something. It'll be quick I promise."
She told the two of you, and you looked from her up to Nikolai, and before you could step away from him, he quickly whispered into your ear, so Alina wouldn't hear. "Meet me at your room."
You nodded while biting your bottom lip to keep yourself from smiling like an idiot. You let go of each other and you let Alina link your arms together, as she led you away.
You took a quick look back at Nikolai and saw him hiding a smile, which made you chuckle at him. The small noise made his face break out in a wide smile as he turned around.
"Mal and I were wondering if the two of you knew each other, because you were so comfortable with him earlier. Now I saw just how comfortable you are." Alina said with a light chuckle, before she continued. "You didn't seem so shy. Or is it just only with Nikolai?" She teased you and you attempted an angry glare at her, but she just giggled at you.
"Don't worry. You'll be back with your boyfriend in no time." Alina told you whick made your cheeks feel hot all of a sudden as you smiled to yourself.
For the first time in your life, you wouldn't be alone at night.
#grishaverse#shadow and bone#shadow and bone fanfiction#six of crows#nikolai lantsov#nikolai lantsov x reader#alina starkov#malyen oretsev#shadow and bone netflix#nikolai lanstov imagine#nikolai x fem! reader
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Hi! How are you?
I came with a yyh request!
Could you please write about something that reader does that has kurama malfunctioning? Like something so cute he just exe.stopping working?
Thank you!
notes: this is the third kurama related request i've gotten so far, very interesting! this will be pretty short, a drabble basically, reader is gender neutral.
tw: none, just the tiniest bit of angst however.
today was the day kurama gets to see his s/o for the first time in months, he had been gone for quite a while, some pretty important business, and he deeply misses them, making his first step to see them.
he was showing up unannounced, wanting to at least apologize to them for not letting them know what happened to him, standing at the door with a single rose in his hand, bringing up the courage to knock on the door.
knock knock.
but there was no answer.
no immediate answer.
"who's there?" a familiar voice calls out from behind the door.
"it's me, kurama."
once the name was heard the door swiftly opens and arms tightly hug around him, he feels them shaking, sniffling, and the feeling of his top shoulder being wet.
they were crying... i was expecting that.
they pull away, looking into his eyes with their bloodshot, tear sicken ones, before they curl into a glare.
"where have you been..?" they say calmly, eerily calm.
kurama was expecting this reaction, and admittedly he deserved it, he had been gone for so long without so much as a warning.
"it's... a bit complicated to explain, but, i will anyways for your sake."
--
"so, that's what happened, huh?"
a spirit world, demons... so much had happened in the past month, still confuses them to some degree, especially since they had been out of the country for the past couple of weeks to go see family.
the two of them had talked about the trip they had, their own individual experiences, and some other miscellaneous things.
the rose kurama had gave them had sat in a vase with all the other roses he had given them throughout the past few months, there was a lot to count, and they never withered, despite them taking care of it daily as a reminder to him.
"oh, i forgot to show you something!" his partner gets out of the bed the two were sitting on and runs into their closet to take out a small brown box which had a lock on it. "wait a minute, hold on i just need to find the key.." placing the box on the bed they scatter around the room, making a mess of everything, throwing clothes, shoes, whatever you may think of.
kurama decides to get up from the bed and look into the drawer next to it, opening it to see.. a key.
"here it is.." he pulls out the key to show it to them, they stare at the key to see if it's the right one.
"yeah, that's it!" walking over to kurama to give him a kiss on the cheek, unaware that he basically froze.
he had missed their kisses so much, the touch of their hands, the look in their eyes... their presence all by itself.. and now he's here.
"uh.. kurama? you there?" they waved their hand in his face to get his attention but.. it seems as if he had.. stopped working.
kurama blinks, looks as if he came back to earth.
"oh.. sorry.. i.." he nervously stutters out, a rosy pink blush scattering his face, he couldn't even look at them without feeling like he'll black out.. he just can't believe that they're his.
his and only his.
#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yu yu hakusho kurama#kurama yyh#kurama x reader#yyh kurama x reader#shuichi minamino
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i just want you to know that i read... i think Most of godfeels and had to stop because i was not enjoying it. but i think its really good and i really respect what you do. i think it's all too easy for people to mix up "this is not my cup of tea" with "this is bad and/or problematic". they dont take the time to see the artistry in it, why it is what it is, what it might be saying beyond their surface level read and the kneejerk reaction to it.
i also wanted to note that ive always been kind of scared of sharing fanworks for fear of writing "out of character" - and ive also even been afraid of it in original works. character isn't real and concrete, so anyone can decide something's out of character. so your exploration of that concept gives me more confidence as a writer. i really appreciate that and everything else you do. :)
thank you so much for this message! i'm glad you tapped out rather than force your way through something you weren't enjoying, that's a very mature response and something i wish more folks would recognize as a perfectly valid option. in fact i think pushing through and reading long after you've given up on the material, so to speak, is a great way to wind up angry at a writer for having "forced" you to endure such a trying experience. as i've said before, an author can't force you to do anything. you can close the book any time you like.
as far as the tension of "in character/out of character" goes, i think a lot of people in fandom struggle with the fact that "character" is very much in the eye of the beholder. sub-groups form within fandoms based on identities, politics, sexual predilections, etc, and typically gather around the fire that is their particular interpretation of a character. but from within that sub-group, it's rarely considered "an interpretation" so much as the obvious intended truth of the text. it's that intoxicating mood of finding people who share a perspective you rarely see elsewhere, like oh my god, you GET it, finally someone GETS it!
in homestuck fandom, for instance, quite a lot of people hate vriska and think she sucks, with a vocal sub-group of that sub-group still actively beating the drum that everything about her arc after [S] Game Over is the worst part of homestuck. but i love vriska, and my corner of the fandom very much organized around a full-throated defense of her. some folks think homestuck did tavros and gamzee dirty and that this is a fatal flaw in the text; when i countenance these people, i am convinced we read two very different comics. who's right and who's wrong? there are degrees. i can pull out any number of quotes from andrew hussie about the importance of vriska and the weenieness of tavros, but then, authors love to say things, and there's plenty of stories i love in ways that directly oppose to the authors' stated intent. the debate can never end because we are only ever talking about the version of a character or story that exists in our heads, based on the things that stuck with us when we read the thing (however long ago that was-- which is important because i find a LOT of people adamantly defending their headcanons haven't read the source text in a number of years. as time passes, your perception of the media you've experienced in the past morphs and distorts. someone who was right five years ago can be wrong today and not even notice the difference).
something i've realized in the last year is how much godfeels emerged from a very specific milieu, not just in terms of how we interpreted certain characters but in our approach to analyzing and talking about the text altogether. i believe most of the important stuff in godfeels is "in character" in most of the ways that matter, but it's built on a very specific meta that centered vrisrezi and transness and radical leftist politics and experimental hypertext. really, it's a post-Epilogues fanwork even despite the fact that godfeels 1 predates their release by a few weeks. and i think to this day a lot of homestuck fans haven't read the epilogues but have read fandom posts about how terrible they are (quite a lot of which will have either been written by teens, by people who already didn't like homestuck very much, or by one of the regressive stalkery weirdos prominent in the homestuck reddit/discord), and that misapprehension keeps them in the dark about just how many amazing tools the epilogues introduce to the homestuck formula that exponentially expand the expressive possibilities of attentive fanworks. and it of course elides the fact that the homestuck epilogues are a story about being in your 30s. i think we'll be getting a big re-appraisal of the epilogues in 5-10 years. it'll be the "twin peaks: fire walk with me" of homestuck, just you wait.
so these readers see my version of dirk being an unhinged murderous dick to a newly-out trans woman and go "he would never do that." then if i point at the epilogues, they'll say "i didn't read them/they're not even canon/that wasn't in character either." at which point there's nothing really to say, because we have two completely different perceptions of the text. who's right and who's wrong is almost always infinitely subjective, a circumstance that humans are notable for being very good at handling in a mature and politely discursive manner.
so i've got an "author's introduction" to godfeels baking in my docs to provide some context about the meta this story is built on, the milieu it came out of, that sort of thing. it won't make much of a difference in practical terms, but it'll at least be something i can point to.
in any event, thanks for this message. all i ever want is for people to give it an honest shot. i hope you can continue harvesting confidence from wherever it can be found. it takes a lot of audacity and backbone to be an artist, especially when you have something worthwhile to say. remember that you're not writing for the haters, you're writing for the kind of person, like you, who wants to see more stories like the thing you're writing. they're the ones who'll get it, they're the ones who'll stick around long after the haters have lost interest.
#sarahposts#in character#out of character#homestuck#godfeels#fanworks#writing advice#headcanon#fandom#long post
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Hey!! Okay, so I got an idea, so- hear me out. Tom who’s always dominant and reader has been trying for WEEKS to get him to be submissive for once but he’s against it until he was talking with georg (or bill) and he was talking about how nice being submissive feels. So he finally gives in and absolutely loves it and how rough, demanding, and just overall dominant reader was. (And if it could be m!reader that would be great)
)Love the work per usual😘😘)
yes 😉 you ask and i shall write bb
(not my gif)
a/n: side note, bend my ass the fuck over (kindly 🤗)
tags/ warnings: sub! tom, begging, cursing, dirty talk, p in v
MDNI ⚠️
synopsis: when tom has been acting suspicious for these past couple of days, you wonder what its about
Your POV:
've been trying to get Tom to be submissive for weeks. He's always been so dominant and I've just been dying to see what it'd be like to have him be completely at my mercy. But every time I've brought it up, he's shut me down. He's always so damn sure of himself, it's actually kind of hot. But tonight, something's different. He's been acting… different. I can't quite put my finger on it.
He's been listening intently to Georg or Bill, whoever the fuck it is he's talking to, and nodding along to whatever they're saying. Then, out of the blue, he turns to me and says, "Hey, you know what? I've always wondered what it'd be like to just let go and be submissive for once. I mean, it's not like I'm some sort of fucking pussy or anything, but I've always been curious. You've always been so demanding and rough, and I think… I think I'd like you to take advantage of that tonight."
My heart leaps into my throat. This is it. After all this time, he's finally giving in. I can't help but grin. "Are you sure, Tom?" I ask, trying to sound both convincing and nonchalant. "Because I'm not going to go easy on you. I'm going to be demanding, rough, and completely in control."
He swallows hard and meets my gaze. "I know. And I want that." His voice is husky, his eyes burning with desire. "I want you to take what you want from me. I want you to make me feel good."
With that, I stand up and walk over to him. He's still sitting on the couch, his body tense with anticipation. I straddle his lap, pressing my hips against his growing hardness, and lean down to whisper in his ear, "You're mine tonight, Tom. Do you understand that?"
He lets out a shaky breath and nods, his hands finding their way to my hips. "Y-yes, I understand." His voice is a whisper, but it's filled with need.
I can feel the power rushing through me, the knowledge that I have him right where I want him. I lean forward, my breasts brushing against his chest, and begin to grind against him, relishing the feel of his cock pressed against my center. "Then show me," I breathe. "Let me see how submissive you can be."
His hands tighten on my hips, his fingers digging into my skin, and I can tell he's struggling to maintain control. But I want him to let go. I want him to give in to the desire I know he feels. So I lean forward once more, my lips meeting his in a hungry kiss, and I taste the need on his tongue. "Give it up, Tom," I whisper against his lips. "Let go and just feel."
He moans into the kiss, his hands moving up my back, gripping my shoulders as if he needs something solid to hold on to. His tongue tangles with mine, his mouth hungry against mine, and I can feel his control slipping away. I reach down and grasp his cock through his pants, stroking it roughly, and he arches into my touch, his hips bucking upward.
"Ride me, baby," he gasps, his voice hoarse. "I want you to ride me." I frown and slap his thigh lightly. "Who's in control here? Me or you?" I hiss.
He lets out a shuddering breath and nods, his eyes dark with desire. "You're right," he whispers. "You're in control." His hands slide up my back, fingers tangling in my hair as he helps pull me closer. I lower myself slowly onto his hardness, feeling the thick length of him stretch me as I begin to ride him.
His hands move up to cup my breasts, squeezing and pinching my nipples roughly as I bounce up and down on his lap. The friction between our bodies sends waves of pleasure coursing through me, and I can tell he's close to losing control. I lean forward, my chest pressed against his, and begin to grind against him in time with my hips, feeling the heat of his body as it presses against mine.
"That's it," I whisper, my voice hoarse. "good boy" I lean back, watching his expression as he watches me ride him. He's no longer in control, no longer the strong, dominant man I've known for so long. And it's incredible to see this new side of him, this vulnerable and needy side. I grind against him harder, feeling the heat between us build with every thrust.
His hands move down to my hips, gripping tightly as he tries to match my rhythm, but I refuse to let him take over. I'm in charge, and I intend to keep it that way. I arch my back, and I can feel his cock throbbing inside me, ready to release, but I'm not done with him yet.
I lean forward once more, my breasts brushing against his chest, and whisper in his ear, "Do you want to come?" He shudders under my touch, and I can feel the tension in his body as he struggles to hold back. "Then you'll have to beg for it."
He lets out a shaky breath and looks up at me, his eyes filled with desire and something else, something almost like fear. "Please," he whispers. "I need it."
His words send a shiver down my spine, and I can feel the power I have over him pulsing between my legs. I lean back again, watching his expression as I begin to move faster on his lap, my hips meeting his in a frenzied rhythm. "Do you think you've been good enough?" I tease, my voice a husky whisper. "Do you think you've earned it?"
He nods frantically, his hands clutching at my hips, his nails digging into my skin. "Yes," he breathes. "Please." His cock is throbbing against my center, and I can feel his control slipping away with every thrust.
I lean forward once more, my breasts brushing against his chest, and whisper in his ear, "Then come for me."
His hips buck upward, driving deeper into me, and I feel the hot rush of his release. His body tenses, his muscles clenching tight around me as he cries out my name. I can feel his seed spilling into me, filling me up, and for a moment, I'm lost in the intensity of it.
As his orgasm begins to subside, I lean back, my hands resting on his shoulders, and look down at him. His chest is heaving, his eyes glassy with lust and exhaustion. "That's it," I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper. "You're all mine now." I kiss him softly, my lips lingering on his as I begin to gently rock my hips against him, allowing the last of his release to slip inside me.
When I finally pull away, he looks up at me with a mixture of relief and gratitude. "Thank you," he whispers. "Thank you liebe." I smile down at him, feeling the weight of our new dynamic settle between us. "Don't thank me yet," I reply with a wicked grin. "We've only just begun."
#tom kaulitz imagines#tom kaulitz#tokio hotel x you#tokio hotel x reader#tokio hotel#itsmealaiah#tom kaulitz x reader#tom kaulitz smut#tom kaulitz x y/n#tom kaulitz x you
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Please don’t tell me jungkook or oc cheats because they just had a baby 🥲
Jungkook would never! If anything Jennette giving birth to little Peanut only enhanced is love for her.
Jungkook During the 40 Weeks of Pregnancy
Finding Out
Jennette didn't experience the typical signs of pregnancy. No morning sickness, no excessive weight gain, no mood swings. Nothing like that at all. She was perfectly fine. She was taking down the silver and gold Christmas-themed tree in February. Still in her festive onesie, Jungkook noticed something quite odd. An open jar of smooth peanut butter.
"You bought peanut butter?"
Taking a big lick from the spoon, Jennette nodded her head.
"Babe you can't stand peanut butter. You literally gag at the smell. Now your eating it straight of the jar."
"I don't know why, but I've been craving it. The smell isn't bothering me right now."
"Are you sick?" Jungkook placed the back of his head on Jennette's forehead.
"I'm fine."
Jungkook found that moment weird, but didn't harp on it. Maybe she was giving peanut butter another chance. Surely that was just the explanation. But it didn't stop there. More peanut butter treats arrived in the house in the next few weeks. Nutter Butters, Reeses Cups, and an unhealthy amount of peanut butter jelly sandwiches.
Jungkook watched in awe as Jennette ate her fifth Reeses in one sitting. The empty wrappers were piling beside her, as she watched an old episode of Martin.
"Jungkook I can literally feel your eyes glaring holes into my face."
"Jeanie are you sure nothing is wrong? Like you aren't hiding anything from me."
"I'm not sick, Jungkook. I'm not coughing, no sore throat, and no fever. I'm literally fine- stop asking."
Six hours later while Jennette was lying in bed, Jungkook lay on his back, deep in thought. The amount of peanut butter products Jennette had been consuming in the past three weeks was absurd. How could she go from gagging at the smell of the ingredient to finishing family-size jars by herself in three days. Jungkook needed to get to the bottom of this. Slipping out of bed, Jungkook went to the 24/7 pharmacy. He went up and down the aisles, hoping to find some fancy brand to explain the eating habits shift.
Tylenol?
Advil?
Metamucil?
No no no.
Soon enough, he found himself of the family planning aisle. In front of him were three rows of Clear Blue pregnancy tests. His heart skipped a beat as he contemplated picking up the pregnancy test.
Better safe than sorry.
The drive back to the house seemed longer, despite him going ten over the speed limit.
"Jeanie... Jeanie baby, wake up." He gently rocked Jennette awake.
"Go away." She yawned turning on her side. She nuzzled into her pillow.
"I need you to take this test for me."
"What test?" Jennette's cracked.
"Just take it."
Irritated, Jennette squinted as she sat up. She slipped her feet into her slippers. She headed into their shared bathroom beside their bedroom. There, she saw a pregnancy test on the counter. Her lips ready to fire off.
"Please just take it. I can't help but think this could be why you have been acting so different lately."
Closing the door, Jennette just went with the motions. Taking the test and peeing on the stick. She wasn't even anxious about the results in the slightest. She wanted to just get back in her bed, before her spot of warmth disappeared.
"Are you done!?"
Jennette washed her hands and opened the door. Jungkook had the edge of his thumb in between in teeth. A soothing habit he only did when he was highly anxious.
Jennette adjusted her bonnet slightly, slipping of her head. She went into her nightstand and put on her signature purple glasses. She couldn't read the test because of her astigmatism in both eyes. The lines would be moving too much for her to read the test accurately.
"See, look, one line." The thin second line arrived as she turned the test to gloat in front of Jungkook.
"Oh fuck."
"Wha-. shitttt." Jennette did a double take, seeing the positive pregnancy test.
Weeks 7-10
The next day Jeannette and Jungkook scheduled an appointment at the doctors office. She got her pre-natal vitamins and an official test done. They found out that they were seven weeks pregnant. The couple wasn't actively trying for a kid, but they were't devastated by the news. They were 29 respectively and could now use the next seven-ish months to prepare themselves for parenthood.
During this time they got their first sonogram. Jungkook was moved to tears and asked for several copies of the picture. One of them going in his car, one on the back of his phone, and the other in his night stand. The picture was so precious to him
It was only one time Jennette experienced morning sickness. She blames the vertigo spell for pushing her over the edge. She was doing perfectly fine, but when she was riding in an elevator one morning. She got nauseous all of a sudden. She told Jungkook, and he ordered her to take it easy for the rest of the day.
Weeks 11-14
This is when the nickname Peanut came about. Now, reaching the end of the first trimester, Jennette and Jungkook was looking at their developing child on the screen. Jungkook could point out their eyes, and tiny toes.
"Looks like this angel is gonna be on the chunky side." The OBGYN commented.
"Their so cute, though. Look at ‘em."
Moving around the wand on Jennette's small belly, they looked at all angles.
"What are they doing doing, doctor?" Jungkook wondered.
"Oh just sucking their thumb."
Jungkook gushed harder at the screen. "Look at our little Peanut."
Weeks 15-18
Time for the long-awaited gender reveal. Jennette and Jungkook opted to keep this moment more intimate. They didn't want a crazy gender reveal party. They were going to keep the gender of their little Peanut a surprise until she was born. But they still had to create a memorable experience.
Surprisingly both Jennette and Jungkook believed that they were having a baby girl. The April weather allowed for Jennette to wear a baby pink shirt and skirt set. Her bump was protruding more, especially from a side-profile perspective. Jungkook was wearing a pink button-up jacket. White t-shirt with pink pants to match. He found this really cute plushy online called 'Cooky'. It was a pink bunny, a perfect gift for the little girl he hoped to have.
"Are you ready to find out the gender of your baby?"
"Yes!" The answered at the same time.
Applying the cold gel on Jennette's belly, the doctor handed the wand to Jungkook. Allowing him to do the honors. He grasped the wand, eyes wide-looking for any declaration of the child's biological sex.
"Wait slow down, bug. Go a little more to the left." Jennette guided. The angle they were looking at they could only see her legs and stomach.
In a gasp of excitement, Jennette saw the outline of a labia majora. Stronger than she anticipated, she gripped Jungkook's shoulder and shook him.
"We're having a baby girl! OMG! OMG!"
“Peanuts a girl! She’s a girl! I’m a girl dad !!!”
Jungkook jumped up and down. The wand was long forgotten as it hit the ground. The OBGYN enjoyed watching the couple celebrate their baby girl.
Week 19- 22
Jungkook was very protective over Jennette's now obvious baby bump. Whenever they were out in public together, he walked slightly in front of her. Avoiding from touchy strangers, placing their filthy hands on her stomach. Only he could touch Jennette's stomach. His little peanut was inside, and he was obligated to protect her, and her mother of course.
On a lazy Sunday morning, Jungkook was playing with Peanut. Jennette was able to feel her kicking, and her moving around in her stomach. Her baby was quite receptive to her father's voice. Jungkook would stand on one side of Jenentte and speak. Watching the little imprints of hands and feet press against her stomach. Indiciating that Peanut was following her father's voice.
"Oh Toodles." Jennette jokingly tapped her stomach. Jungkook was coming closer to her, to do his daily quality time with his baby. She felt a flutter in response.
"Peanut. Come to me sweet girl."
"Ooo!" Jennette reacted to the sudden dart across her stomach.
"That may have been the fastest she's moved." Jennette paused in between her words. Her little Peanut was developing some speed, which always tired her. Even though she hadn't moved a muscle.
"Okay come to this side." And peanut did. Jungkook capturing the moment on his phone.
"I'm for sure showing her this when she's older." He snickered. "Okay I'm over here now."
Week 23-26
Jennette and Jungkook were sitting a frozen yogurt creamery looking at another sonogram picture of their little Peanut. They had gotten a really nice close-up of Peanut's face. Her lips and eyes were well-seen in the image.
"Peanut will be the first person in my family who is bald."
"Everyone in my family is born bald. Including me.” Jungkook commented. He dug deep into his camera roll finding an image of him when he was just a few days old.
"Oh-" Failing to hold in her laughter, Jennette's stomach shook with a violent laugh. Poor Peanut probably thought she was on a roller coaster.
"Most black babies I've seen were born with a head full of hair. It would explain why I don't have heartburn." Doing the same Jennette pulled up a picture of herself when she was a baby. She was born with a mini afro, just like her mother and her sister.
"But look I can already tell she has your eyes. I just know they are gonna be so pretty."
Jungkook agreed. "I make some pretty babies."
"I make pretty babies." Jennette emphasized.
"Can't argue with that baby." Jungkook took a scoop of Jennette's yogurt. "I hope she looks like you."
"I hope so too."
"Just because you said that, Peanut will look just like her daddy." Jungkook kissed her belly. His tattooed hand rubbed over the now darker vertical line running down her bump.
Leaving the yogurt shop, Jungkook and Jennette walked around the area, getting some exercise. Like an excited dad, Jungkook told random strangers he passed about his "twin".
"My twin is in there."
"She only has four more months left."
Week 27-30
Jennette is super clumsy. Don't hand her anything fragile that can break. She has butter fingers unlike ever before. Jungkook had to move the precious pottery to the top of the cabinets. No way would she step on a ladder to get it, so it would require Jungkook to assist you.
"Bug you up?"
Jungkook had a tough training session in the gym and was trying to take a cat nap on the couch. It was 2 am and he believed that Jennette had already been sleep.
"Huh? What's wrong? Peanut good?"
"Yes, she's good. A craving is just hitting me."
"Peanut butter is in the pantry. You can reach it." Jungkook pouted his lips, looking so adorable in Jennette's eyes. She felt bad for waking him up.
"But I kinda want something different. I'm sorry baby."
"Don't apologize. I got you." With one eye barely open, Jungkook got the sweet treat Jennette had been craving. Being the good boyfriend that I knew he would be.
Week 33-36
Peanut's baby shower was a busy affair. Jennette's side of the family flew out to Korea. Her parents, grandma, and her little sister Asia were all able to come. Jungkook's parents handled all the food matters for the party. Jennette was hanging up some decor on the walls.
Jennette felt as big as a house. She looked exhausted and greasy. New growth from her braids were taking over her scalp. The August heat was not making her feel any better. She was already constantly warm with a growing child in her belly. The external temperature of high 80s didn't help either.
It was smart for her to get dressed later in the day, as she would have sweated out her yellow sundress. Instead, she was in her comfy maternity shorts that were extra-large. Cream-colored stretchmarks ran rampant across the surface of her stomach. She hasn't been able to see her feet in the past month or so. She could only imagine what her feet looked like.
Jungkook came down the stairs. Blothes of paint on an old graphic T-shirt. "Baby, there you are. I have something to show you." Jungkook was cheery this morning despite the few hours of sleep he got. He waited at the airport to pick of Jennette's family before coming home around 2 am.
"Come look." Jungkook gently dragged Jennette up the stairs. He had been cooped upstairs with his friends for the last four hours.
"Voila!"
Peanut's crib was set up along the purple-colored walls. There were small animals along the wall. The purple went along nicely with the accent color of white. White flowers were thinly painted, creating a beautiful garden of flowers. Which all came ahead above where Peanut's crib was.
"Bug I love it!" Not wanting to cry, Jennette felt so moved by everything she saw. The nurse was so homey for their Peanut. The carpet was soft, a mobile spun slowly.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Jennette thanked Jungkook's friends, her Peanut's uncles. She would forever treasure the beautiful work that they did.
"Come on you need to get dressed. Guest will be coming in less than an hour."
Week 37-40
Jungkook is the type of boyfriend with labor emergency kits in every vehicle. So that no matter what car they were in, if they needed to drive straight to the hospital then they could. With Peanut arriving in less than a few weeks, Jungkook has become a lot more stressed.
He overreacts to any groan coming from Jennette.
"Was that a contraction?"
"Did your water break?"
"Do you feel her head coming out? Lay down, let me look."
Jungkook was getting on Jennette's last nerves. His pre-parental panic was cramping her style. She looked like a goddess. Afro out, wearing slightly form-fitting clothing. She was like Rihanna, making her bump an accessory with her outfit. Not hiding it under maternity clothing. She does several solo maternity shoots before inviting Jungkook to do a couple with her.
The afternoon of August 31st is when Jennette's water breaks. She was baking peanut butter cookies when a liquid trickled down her leg. Jungkook who was in the shower, wasted no time ushering his pregnant girlfriend to the hospital.
It was seven o'clock and Jennette was only four centimeters dialed. She bounced on a huge yoga ball. She did breathing exercises, and Jungkook was attentive the entire time.
Rubbing her back when requested. Holding her hand, kissing her forehead.
"You are doing amazing baby. I love you so much."
Jennette could FaceTime her mother for a couple of hours as she slowly dialted to eight. Her contractions were becoming closer together, and Peanut was slowly lowering herself into the birth canal.
"I don't think I could do this again." She huffed. She wasn't in pain but was in extreme discomfort. She couldn't get comfortable laying on her back. It just felt wrong.
"Whatever you say baby. Peanut is enough for me."
"Bug can you hold me up. I don't think I can lay down any longer."
Jungkook did just that. As Jennette moaned through her contractions, Jungkook rubbed her back. Trying to keep the hospital gown as closed as possible, he didn't want her ass out for any passing staff member to see.
"Thank you so much Jeanie." Jungkook was on the brink of tears. With the help of three other nurses, Jennette was lying on her back again. The doctor had declared Jennette at 10cm. She could start pushing, and her contractions were much closer together.
"AHHHHHH!"
"GET HER OUTTTT! NOWWWWW" Jennette tossed and turned her head. Her screams of discomfort broke Jungkook's heart. He didn't know what else to say but 'Thank you' and 'I love you'.
Jungkook held Jennette's hand for the entire twenty minutes she was pushing. Jennette's head hit her pillow with a soft thud. All energy left her body, as she watched the doctor hold Peanut in the air. Her lip was quivering with no sound.
"Why isn't she crying?" Jennette choked out, trying not to cry. The nurses didn't respond, wiping Peanut's face of all the mucus. Jungkook's eyes never left Peanut. Her little pink self. He couldn't help but smile and notice that Peanut was bald. Very little hair was on her head, but Jungkook didn't care. She was the prettiest baby he had ever seen. Bald or not.
The doctor smacked Peanut's bottom, eliciting a scream.
"Oh my baby." Jennette smiled, arms open, ready to hold her. Peanut was placed on Jennette's chest. Jennette nuzzled her cheek against hers. Loving the warmth Peanut radiated. Jennetted motioned for Jungkook to get in the bed with her.
"Come on, come hold her. Take your shirt off for skin to skin."
Jungkook was a crying mess holding Peanut. This was the same person scattering across Jennette's stomach as the sound of his voice. He was now face to face with his Peanut. Yeah Jungkook was crying real bad.
Her eyes were like Jungkook's. It was too early to determine her skin complexion as she was just different shades of pink and slight grey. Her nose and lips were like Jennette's. After being washed up and dressed she took a nap on her mother’s chest. Preparing for her baldness, Jungkook put on a gentle (non-squeezing) bow on her head.
Looking at the time, Jungkook smiled even harder.
"Guess it was fate for Peanut to be my twin."
"What makes you say that?"
Shaking his phone, Jennette saw the time.
12:28 am September 1st.
"You got your twin bug. You definitely got your twin."
Series Masterlist:
#bts x black reader#bts#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook#bts x oc#bts x black oc#black fanfiction#jungkook x jennette#madameaug#black fem reader#black tumblr#black kpop fans#kpop
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reuniting after three weeks
MINORS DNI <3
content: dom/sub, gagging/face fucking, anal fingering, buttplug, oral
wc: 2.1k
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I haven't seen harry in just under three weeks since he's been away for promo. it's quite surprising I actually survived as the two of us can normally never keep our hands off each other, never tiring of making the other come. over and over again. we can't seem to get enough of each other. in his time away, i've become so desperate to be sexually satisfied that i resorted to exploring ways to pleasure myself that previously only harry would do to me, never just by myself. i've always been so ashamed that i love my ass played with as my past partners have completely made fun of me for it. harry, however, loves to encourage the side of me that dares to explore what makes my toes curl and my cunt drip. we love testing each other's limits, constantly finding new things we're interested in. this past week, i started playing with the collection of butt plugs we share. i started with the standard small ones and used a vibrator to satisfy me. unfortunately, i'm still chasing the way harry makes me feel. since then, i've bought us a new set of bigger plugs to play with. i'm surprised how much i love them. they're more similar to a small, tapered dildo with a flared base to keep it in place.
harry should be here any minute. his flight landed an hour ago and said he was coming straight home. when he told me he landed, i took it upon myself to play with one of the bigger new plugs. i wanted to surprise him with our new toy. i'm so excited to see his reaction that i get lost in thought, almost missing the shutting of the front door. i hear a suitcase stop rolling and feet on the stairs. i quickly throw the lube i had out into our special drawer in our nightstand and close it. he doesn't need to know so soon that i've already been working myself up. i look in the mirror to take a final glance at my lingerie before harry likely rips it off of me. i put on his favorite set of mine, a royal blue matching bra and panty, made completely of silky mesh. the simplicity and lack of lace allows a clear view of my nipples and ruined panties.
the bedroom door flies open, and i'm met with a flustered harry. his eyes soften as he looks at my face, then immediately widen as he takes in my lack of clothes. "baby. jesus christ i was going to see if i could take you to dinner to talk about our weeks but looks like my meal is right here."
he slowly makes his way to me at the side of the bed. my legs are off the side of the bed, parted where he comes to stand between them. he never breaks eye contact as he suddenly grabs my throat. "you think you can try to surprise me when you know i wanted to spend the night with you before devouring you? hm? you think you can do that without punishment?" i close my parted mouth that suddenly went dry. he squeezes my neck harder and raises his voice, "answer me!" "fuck, yes i surprised you. no i didn't think i was going to get away with no punishment. maybe that's what i wanted. what i needed."
harry's eyes are the darkest i've seen them in quite a long time. "suit yourself, pet. on your knees then." he lets go of my neck and backs up a step, allowing me space to slowly sink forward off the bed onto my knees. i know better than to make any sudden decisions when i see he's this worked up. i can tell he's struggled with our weeks apart almost more than i did. i don't touch him until he allows me to. "belt and pants off. don't touch my underwear." he commands, and i waste no time in unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans. i pull the jeans down slowly until they pool around his ankles. he removes them from his ankles quickly before turning back to me. i am met with his very obvious hard-on contained by his tight briefs. "touch me, princess. make me feel good and maybe i'll consider going easy on you."
i bring my left hand to cradle his left thigh while my right begins roughly palming him. the sound he emits when i do this is almost embarrassingly lewd, and is music to my ears. despite his dominant temperament right now, i know i'm the one in control here. he clearly needs relief more than i do. i rip his black briefs down his legs and watch his cock spring straight up. it's furiously red and begging to be gagged on. i grab his base and put his tip to my lips. i let them rub over my closed, plush lips. i do this a few time before just barely sticking my tongue out to kitten lick his slit. his right hand fists the hair at the back of my head, begging me to take him into my mouth. i suck his tip and first few inches beyond my lips, hollowing my cheeks. i am so desperate for relief at this point that i need him to touch me as soon as possible. to speed up his orgasm, my left hands gropes his ass, spreading his cheeks and putting pressure onto his hole without pushing it in. he lets out a slow, low moan, making me take him deeper into my mouth. he hits the back of my throat and i keep him there a few seconds before breathing deeply through my nose and then pushing my face into his pelvis. his dick curves down the back of my throat and i gag mercilessly around him. i push my left pointer into his hole and started pumping. i bring my mouth off of him to take a breath, and see a long, thick line of spit connecting my lips to his tip. i most definitely got wetter at the sight. he's watching my every move with heavy eyes, holding on to the bedpost in front of him for stability. i continue pumping with my left hand as i take him back into my mouth, focusing on his tip and frenulum. within seconds, he grabs the back of my head and slams his hips into me, letting out a loud moan. he thrusts his hips twice before pulling back slightly as to not actually choke me with cum. i begin to feel his salty ropes his the back of my mouth and i greedily swallow every bit. i slowly remove my finger from him, and lean forward to place a kiss to his left hip bone.
"did i make you feel good, h? do i still deserve a punishment?" "i think you need to be reminded who's in charge here, kitten. surprising me like you did in your little lingerie wasn't a smart idea. stand up and lay on your back at the top of the bed. i'm not even close to done with you yet." i nod quickly before repositioning myself onto the bed. he rips off his shirt and comes to sit on his knees between my legs. "jesus, babe. you ruined your fucking underwear and i haven't laid a finger on you yet. so fucking filthy. don't worry though, i'll clean you up." he leans don't and hooks his fingers into the sides of my panties. i lay back on my elbows, eagerly waiting for him to see the real surprise i planned. he quickly leans forward to capture my lips in a searing kiss. a kiss that doesn't match his current dominant nature, but rather my normal loving harry. he leans back just an inch before quietly whispering, "i fucking missed you, my peach. just needed a soft moment." i grin at him and lean forward to kiss him once more before he sits up. his eyes darken again, and look down to my dripping center now that he's dragged my panties off.
i bite my lip to suppress the grin i'm sporting as he takes in the new, and much larger, butt plug. he looks up at me, "fuck me. i'm fully hard again just looking at you. missed me so much you had to play with your tight little hole just for some relief? it's almost pathetic." he brings his hand off its resting place on his thigh to grab the base and move it in a circle. i can feel the toy moving inside me, harry unaware of its size as he stretches me even further. he can see my brows furrowed in pleasure, and can clearly tell this movement affected me more than it should.
"oh. i see, my little fucking slut. you bought yourself a big toy to play with? is that why your pretty little face looks like it's about to cry when i barely moved it? do you feel so much pressure you could scream?" i know he needs to hear my confirmation in his guess. "yes. fuck i needed more. i needed to feel how you fill me up. but you weren't home so i had to do it myself. it feels- oh my god it feels so good." i can tell he likes my answer. "yeah, pet? should i play with your hole until you can't take it? yes or no?" "please baby. see for yourself what i needed while you were away. fuck me with it until i can't breathe. please d-" i catch myself almost saying a name i've never called him before. "i'm sorry love. what was that? please who?" this entire time we've been talking, his small circles with the toy never stopped. "please. please daddy make me feel good. i feel so full i don't need mu- oh!" he catches me of guard by pulling the toy from me, making me suck in a sharp breath and gasp. he finally sees the size of the toy i've bought us.
it's roughly 4 inches long, and two inches wide at its biggest point. it has a tapered end, but still at least three times the size of the other plugs we've previously played with. "holy shit angel. you stuffed your tight little hole with this? all by yourself. guess you were desperate. i'll fuck you with it now, make you feel as good as you make me feel." he slowly pushes the toy back into me, then almost back out again. he can tell i'm craving more. more power, more force, more anything to get me to my building orgasm. he suddenly changed rhythm and i can't even make a sound. my jaw hangs open as he begins roughly fucking me with the toy. as my eyes are closed, he bring his mouth down to my thigh. he bites me hard enough to gain my attention while still keeping his pace. my eyes are now on his as he moves his head to the side a few inches and latches his mouth on to my clit.
jesus fucking christ he bit me so i would be looking into his eyes as he tasted me.
his eyes roll back and he moans at the wetness and taste of me. my head drops onto the pillow and my eyes snap closed. my orgasm surprises the fuck out of me, making me scream his name and close my thighs onto the sides of his head. he slows down both his tongue and his hand as i peak and begin to come back to my senses after no doubt one of the strongest orgasms i've ever experienced. i am so lost in pleasure that i don't feel him remove the toy.
next thing i know, he's crawling into bed beside me. i crack my eyes open to see that the toy is cleaned and on the nightstand, i have a clean pair of underwear on, and my sexy but uncomfortable matching mesh bra is now flung into the bottom of the bed. i also see that harry isn't hard anymore as he lays naked next me to. he must have came again watching me unravel after he put his mouth on me. i guess i was out for a few minutes then since we're all cleaned up. i feel harry wrap his arms around me and pulled me to his chest before saying "i never want to travel without you again. i cant stand not holding you like this. sleep well, angel." the last thing i remember is his calm and steady heartbeat against the side of my face before drifting to sleep.
#dom!harry#harry styles smut#harry styles masterlist#harry smut#harry edward styles#harry styles one shot#harry styles fan fic#harry styles
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Thinking about Eddie and how it probably takes him some time to figure out what he wants from life after having his whole worldview sent toppling and very nearly dying in an alternate dimension.
Like after he gets his GED it's odd jobs and moving town to town looking for a place that isn't put off when they do a background check and find out what he'd been accused of (no matter that he was cleared of all charges) and it's changing his last name and just surviving for a while rather than chasing down any sort of passion projects.
Maybe he tries the music thing out a few years in, figuring people probably care less about who's playing a gig so long as they know their way around a guitar, but he's still young and stupid and traumatized and it becomes very clear to everyone putting in the effort to stay in touch with him that he's about to be taken majorly advantage of by the industry so that's kind of a bust. He gets out as fast as he can, can't face the reality of his name ending up in the press anymore than it already has for Wayne's sake as much as his own.
And it's hard. It's messy and it's survival and it's just a lot for a guy who never really planned to still be alive this many years after that guitar solo in the Upside Down but he has to stop running around the country at some point and hey, Chicago's as good a place as any right?
Robin's working on her Master's out there and Nancy's at the Herald kind of kicking all kinds of journalistic ass. Steve just finished up his degree after floundering a bit like Eddie for a few years there when all the head trauma caught up to him and chronic tinnitus finally started turning into hearing loss and he's working at a school for HOH and Deaf kids now, genuinely actually thriving.
And Eddie feels a little bit like he's still the third-try senior at Hawkins High because what has he done? Lots of false starts and changed minds and spontaneous moves cross-country because he got too restless being in one place for too long, what has he really done?
He moves to Chicago, though, gets a job at a bookstore which is really far from the worst gig he's had in the past five or six years and it also just so happens to only be a handful of blocks away from the Art Institute where he happens to know one of the top undergrads.
The first time Will Byers comes in it might as well be because Steve is dragging him by the ear, because Eddie's only lived here three weeks but Steve has spent every day of that time making sure Eddie is getting settled and acclimated and has people. Almost like he's worried about Eddie leaving again.
Almost like he wants Eddie to stay.
And he drags Will Byers into the bookstore, eggs them into catching up outside of the Monster Hunter Reunions Joyce tries to make happen around major holidays. And then he does it again. And again.
It's Steve and Will bringing him lunch or bringing him coffee when it starts getting cold in the windy city and Eddie is loathe to admit it, but it's nice. It's not some big revelation, it's not Eddie's chance to change the world or anything, but he's got people around who keep making him aware that they're around and he's more settled than he's maybe ever been.
And then one day it's--
"Hey, Byers, you tell Ed about that thing you've been working on?"
If Eddie's hands weren't busy designing a killer fantasy display (if he does say so himself) he would be noticing the sly smugness in Steve's shoulders. He would know this was a set-up. He would just know.
The thing Will is working on is a graphic novel.
The thing Will is working on is a fucking metal ass premise of a graphic novel, taking no shortage of inspiration from the kid's quite frankly too insane for fiction experiences while still somehow putting so much of his own voice into it and Eddie is obsessed, Eddie is enthralled, Eddie is--
"Would you mind giving me feedback sometime? It's just-- I've got all these ideas, but I never know how to streamline them. You were always so good at that as a DM-- making everything make sense, you know?"
On that day, Eddie is mostly just honored that Will sees him for more than a guy without any formal creative writing education and trusts him enough to look at his work.
A matter of weeks later, Eddie is somehow not just giving feedback, he's basically a co-author. They use the big empty wall above Eddie's couch in his tiny studio apartment for storyboards and beat notes and it's on accident, the way Eddie finds this thing he loves.
Except for the fact that it's only an accident for him.
"You're such a fucking meddler, you know that?" he says to Steve over beers at Steve's apartment one Friday afternoon after gushing over Will's new art drafts for the book for approximately 45 minutes straight.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Steve smirks, not even trying to hide it.
"Oh, come on. Will told me he came to you asking if you thought I'd be interested in helping out and you came up with this elaborate slow-burn plan. The gig is up, Harrington, I'm in your head."
Steve just telegraphs his movement as he reaches up and shuts off his hearing aid, "Sorry, I can't hear you, man. Maybe if you wrote it in a book for me, drew some pictures--"
Who would really blame Eddie for kissing him on the mouth?
Someone needs to shut that guy up every once in a while.
#steddie#steddie fic#steve x eddie#eddie munson#eddie & will#hoh steve harrington#stranger things fic#dot post#graphic novelist duo eddie and will is something that could be so good actually
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truthfully my friends this isnt something im overly into or experienced in & as such i have Absolutely no idea if its any good or not. godspeed
[alien-esque parasite creature-in-stomach bordering-on-rapid-horror-preg situation, ends in hospital post-surgery bc you know id never let it explode him but the hospital isnt like a whole big thing, nobody has a good time in this but hes fine]
Val was beginning to wonder if eating at that sketchy restaurant in Hell had been a good idea.
Truthfully, he'd known it was a bad idea from the start. He hadn't liked the look of the place when his sister had brought him there, the service had been awful, the food had been worse, and he'd felt a little off ever since. That had been a few days ago, and he was back home now. It was always shockingly cold returning to the mortal world after visiting his family, but he was glad to be back in Connie's arms, even if it meant braving the chilly autumn air.
Exhausted from the busy week behind him, Val flopped down onto the bed. He was freshly showered and dressed in his pajamas, and very glad about it. Connie was taking her turn in the shower now. Sprawled out flat on his back, Val looked down at himself, and his brow furrowed. He hadn't felt quite right ever since visiting that restaurant, and he was still a little bloated. He laid his head back down on the pillow and rested his hands on his belly.
"Looks like your mom stuffed you like a turkey," Connie teased, standing in the doorway. "Does she think you're as skinny as I do?"
"Christ, does she," Val laughed.
"Maybe you oughtta visit more often, let her beef you up a little," she giggled, dropping herself onto the bed next to him.
"I don't think I could handle that," said Val. "You know everyone else in my family is like ten feet tall?" Connie laughed.
"And I bet they feed you like you are too, right?" She placed a hand on his rounded tummy and raised her eyebrows at how firm it felt. "Sheesh, you really feel stuffed."
"Tell you the truth, my sister dragged me out to some weird restaurant a couple days before I left. It was a mess, you never woulda gone in. Whatever I ate didn't sit right, I guess, my stomach's been a little funny ever since. I've spent the past few days feeling like I swallowed a bowling ball."
"Huh," said Connie, rubbing his belly. It gurgled uncomfortably under her hand. "Maybe you got, like, mild food poisoning or something."
"Maybe," he sighed. "Probably."
"Do you feel sick?"
"I don't know. Not quite. Just off. ADR, as they say at the vet. I mean, I definitely feel bloated, I can tell you that much."
"Believe me, you don't have to tell me," she chuckled, patting his belly. It didn't sound hollow, like it was filled with gas. Instead it sounded solid, like patting a rock, and it let out another sickly gurgle. Connie winced sympathetically.
Suddenly, Val sat up. Connie looked up at him, surprised. His face was difficult to read, but he seemed tense. Concerned, she sat up beside him.
"Val, what's the matter?" She placed a hand on his shoulder.
"I don't know," he said uncertainly, holding both hands against his tummy. He looked down, brow furrowed. Was he more bloated than before? His stomach felt tighter, and…strange, somehow. Almost as if something inside him was pulsing.
"Maybe you should go to urgent care or something," said Connie. She didn't like the look on his face, and she didn't like that he was still so bloated days after eating whatever he'd eaten.
"I can't go to urgent care. I'm not even human. They wouldn't know what to make of me even if I was feeling fine."
"Yeah, but…I don't know. I'm worried," she said, squeezing his shoulder. Now that he was sitting up, his belly looked even more distended than it had when he was laying, and it was oddly top-heavy, as though whatever was making it so swollen was stuck up in his stomach. She didn't like that at all.
Val couldn't disagree with her point of view. Still, he preferred to avoid letting people find out he wasn't human if he could help it. It was a dangerous secret to reveal, and there had been plenty of times where he'd nearly paid a heavy price for it. He didn't have much time to mull it over, though, because his thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a bizarre wave of pain in his stomach. He doubled over with a groan, clutching his belly.
"Val!" Connie grabbed his shoulders. Val remained frozen, trying to process what he'd just felt. It was pain, certainly, and pressure, but it almost felt like movement as well. Cautiously, he sat back upright, his breathing shallow and shaky.
"That's it, you're going to the hospital," she said, standing up. Val opened his mouth to protest when another surge of pain shot through him, and this time he definitely felt movement. He doubled over again, gaping like a fish as his belly pushed out against his hands.
Carefully, Connie pulled him to his feet, putting an arm around his waist to hold him steady, and hurried him out of the bedroom. As they walked, she felt something shift under her hand, and for a moment she froze, looking down at him.
"What the fuck was that?"
"I don't--I don't know," he choked out, desperately hugging his middle.
"Let's go," she urged, and practically dragged him out of the house.
Connie hastily put the directions into the GPS and was off like a flash before Val could even finish buckling up. His belly bulged conspicuously over the seatbelt, undeniably rounder than it had been earlier, and whatever was inside was growing restless. A moan of terror escaped him as he watched something move under the skin.
"Connie, I love you," he blurted out, his voice shaking.
"I love you too. Don't talk like you're gonne die. You're not gonna die." She reached out and grabbed his shoulder tightly before returning her hand to the wheel. Val thought she looked like she definitely thought he was going to die.
The pressure inside his stomach was unbelievable, and only seemed to be increasing as whatever was inside continued to move around and grow. It was growing fast now, and he could feel his stomach stretching and straining to contain it. He tried not to think about how far it could stretch before it burst.
"We're almost there," said Connie, trying to reassure herself just as much as him. She glanced over at him and was horrified to see his belly visibly squirming. Suddenly, his belly surged violently, and he let out a hoarse cry as the creature inside him began to thrash, pushing out hard against the walls of his stomach.
"Oh, god, please," he cried out, clutching his belly as his tightly-stretched skin was pulled tighter still. "Oh, please, god, no--"
Val woke up feeling like he'd been run through with a chainsaw. He wasn't sure where he was or what had happened, and he didn't have the strength to care. All he knew was that there was a horrible searing pain in his belly. As he regained consciousness, though, he began to recall the events of the night, and he looked down at himself. His belly was flat. Flat, and bandaged up. He let his head fall back onto the pillow with a sigh of relief.
The surgeon told him that he'd barely made it in time, and that they'd pulled something like a sucker-mouthed chupacabra out of his stomach, and that it was nearly the size of an infant, and that his wife had urged them to just not ask questions, and that after the procedure they were inclined to just roll with that, and that he'd have to stay in the hospital for at least a week. Val groggily accepted all of this information; the surgeon could've told him he'd grown a second head and he'd have nodded along. With his stomach intact, all he cared about now was seeing Connie.
EPILOGUE BECAUSE I CANT WRITE ENDINGS: It took one day for Val to win the hearts of all the nurses with his charm and only five for him to be released--for good behavior, he'd joked. Against all predictions, he recovered surprisingly quickly, although his tummy remained terribly sore for weeks; that was, of course, to be expected. He'd persuaded the hospital to let him ship the creature back to Hell for further evaluation. Astonishingly, they'd managed to get it out alive after sedating it right along with Val, and it had been nicknamed "Fluffy" by the frightened staff who were in charge of keeping it under observation. Fluffy, as it turned out, was a relatively common parasite found in undercooked lava cod, which was exactly what Val had eaten, although most of his fellow demons and devils were built sturdily enough that it wasn't much of a danger to them. Connie, who had been even more shaken up by the incident than her husband, received even more affection from him than usual in the following days. He felt awful for putting her through the experience--he'd expressed this, and she'd incredulously assured him that it wasn't his fault--and he made sure to bake her something special for taking care of him.
#writing#belly kink#tummy kink#i dont even know what to tag this as. enlighten me if u so desire idk#xvalx#xconniex#burst mention#i think its a little dull for what it is Tbh#im out of practice when it comes to writing Scary Frantic Shit
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2023/08/23
I'll be on my way now, I'm closing down all my other blogs and ask bin. I'd prefer if no one reached out to me during this time.
I'll be active on my Wattpad account if I feel like writing from time to time, (I'd also like to finish what I started) I've also made an AO3 account, in case I post anything. I plan on posting my Concubine series & Circus au works there as well.
(More info below the undercut)
Hi! This may come of as a shock, and I try not to get too open on this blog, but a month, or so ago. I posted about how I might have DID. (I did extensive research on DID, and reached out to my cousin who had DID for help, and though I will not self diagnose, I match almost all if not all the symptoms for it.)
This Cupid persona has developed into someone of it's own, and I don't feel like I'm the same person as before, and in all honesty I genuinely don't even know who I'm anymore. It's hard for me to focus on my health and mental health, along side simple tasks and even hobbies like writing which I love.
I will say coming into tumblr, the past two years caused me more harm then good. I've realized that though I came into this app being extremely s*icidal and interacting with the users here have made me feel better about myself. It has caused many negative impacts, and I can confidently say that due to me obsessing over writing on time or everyday for tumblr, I've developed an eating disorder of sorts, and recently it seems my body is rejecting food as a whole.
I love writing, and I love that people enjoy my writing, sadly it's the cause of a lot of health issues, mentally and physically. And though I still write from time to time, recently typing or writing by hand makes me feel awful and it's not like those usual burn outs.
I feel like crying as I'm typing this up, and a lot of people may call me dramatic for this but I genuinely feel a pit in my stomach when I go on this app it's not even funny anymore. This blog itself has caused me so much trouble behind the scenes, and though I'm not quitting. I most certainly can't leave something I've worked so hard on, (and this is the place where I met the few people that honestly may not know it, but probably helped stop me from offing myself.)
Like I said, I'll be on different apps, maybe once every 2 weeks or a month, but I'm trying to avoid social media, trying to pick up new hobbies, trying to gain some sort of stability in my life because I'm not stable enough to handle anything right now but like I said, I love writing and I think you guys should at least see it through on the series and tasks I've started.
I'm crying now, and I'm very grateful that you've all supported my work, and allowed me to explore my writing on this platform, I've learned a lot about this fandom. I still find it ironic that people call me a workaholic, I'm genuinely the biggest procrastinator you'll ever meet.
Thank you for supporting me, because without your support and reassurance, I might not have been here until now. Especially to some of my moots, who took the time to chat with me.
So, this is goodbye I suppose. At least on this platform, maybe not forever, but it is goodbye for the next good while.
— Signing off, cupids-chamber
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To be human (or worse, prey)
My strange roommate fic!!! (I've never writen fanfiction before lmk what you think [be nice about it though pls])
I have felt quite different lately, a feeling I was once familiar with has taken a new shape.
I live with a man, a human man, one I should’ve eaten a while ago at that. As I walk past my roommates bedroom I resist my hunger, ‘can’t eat him yet’ I thought. I go over my pre-established reasonings for keeping myself in this less than savory situation.
I need to integrate into this society somehow, my roommate is my only frame of reference for human normalcy really. As much as it’d be easier to just eat him now, I cannot understand these people on my own. Clearly there's much to learn if I ever want to move on from merely hunting forest creatures. That's not to mention the payoff, after a long week of pretending to feel things I can't, there is nothing better than fresh meat.
As always I have made it back from “work” right before dusk, and in the same way I am preparing food that I cannot eat. Though my roommate never assigned me this task, it's a necessary part of my contribution. I’ve found humans like it when you make yourself useful, and he doesn’t have the time to do this for himself.
Maneuvering this vessel is more difficult than I thought it’d be. Humans make it look so easy, moving fluidly with every action while I find myself fumbling over every little articulation. They expect you to move even when it’s unnecessary. Apparently not taking part in their hand gestures and arbitrary body language is frowned upon.
Searing pans and mixing bowls rest at the bottom of the sink. I heard his car as it pulled into the driveway, and the lock’s click as he unlocked the door. He greets me at the entrance with a small wave and a polite smile, but only polite. How passive. He still treats me as though I am a stranger. I set his plate in front of his usual seat at the dining table.
He takes his seat and I take mine right across from him and stare as I always do, though I can’t help but get lost in my thoughts. I’ve heard him on the phone, he aspires to get a job he knows is out of reach for him. He listens to music in his room when he gets ready, he says it motivates him. He cares when other people get hurt, even though it doesn’t affect him. All things that I’m constantly reminded are normal amongst people, yet completely foreign to me. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t–
“Hey, are you alright?”
He spoke uneasily.
“You’ve been staring for.. a while now.” Yes I’ve heard of this, staring is considered rude isn’t it? He looks at me pensively, like he's trying to figure me out. It’s the same look he’s been giving me since I cooked and served him his cat last week.
I don’t understand this reaction, why would he raise such a creature if not to be eaten, perhaps he was saving it for one of those special occasions. You know how they are, humans and their special occasions.
“I’m going to watch this new movie, over on the couch,” he says.
Why is he telling me this?
“... if you’d like to join me maybe.”
Oh. This is quite unexpected, maybe I misunderstood our standing. He shifts around, seemingly getting more and more uncomfortable the longer the silence stretches on.
“I’ll uh- I will be in the living room.”
I didn’t think this far ahead honestly, I thought I would’ve eaten him by now. This offer is one I would expect of an acquaintance. Are he and I acquainted?
He’s already gotten comfortable in the living room by the time I come in. “Oh! You actually came,” He wasn’t really expecting me to take him up on his offer was he? He makes room for me to sit near him on the pillow adorned couch, more for decoration than comfort. “I mean, I’m glad. Come sit!”
I sit next to him, awkward movements every step of the way, this place is one I usually only experience in passing. There was never any reason to be in here other than to enter the kitchen. I believe I’ve spent more of my time in his room than here. Admittedly I sometimes watch him at night, controlling my gluttony is no easy feat. At least I can take solace in knowing when this is all over snuffing him out will be no issue. Besides, It's his fault for leaving his door unlocked.
I sit with my hands clasped in my lap. I never know where to put those things.
With a few clicks of the remote he’s signed into some kind of account, playing some kind of film. I am technically looking at the screen but I pay no attention. I can’t while he’s here, just across the couch yet still much too close. I watch him from my peripheral vision, only about fifteen minutes in and he seems to be entranced. It's fascinating how invested he is in this.
Maybe I can settle down a little as well.
I don’t really know when but eventually I found myself invested in the movie on screen as well, and that came with a new-found serenity. Caught in a fictional world, I think for the first time I wasn’t hyper aware of my surroundings or the people in them. Just for a moment I didn’t feel the need to stalk or hunt and it wasn’t life or death. Only for a moment though.
My roommate clears his throat, the unexpected noise was jarring to me in the state I was in. I nearly forgot he was even there.
“The movie’s almost over already, huh?” he said. He’s closer than I remember him being, it would seem we got closer as we adjusted to more comfortable positions on the couch. I don’t like that.
“This is weird isn’t it?” I have no gauge for what’s ‘weird’ and what's ‘normal’ here, but I’ll go along with it.
“Me asking you to hang out with me out of the blue like this I mean. I just had a long day and-” He sighs, sounding quite dejected. It’s not like I have anything else left to do here. it's
“None of my friends have picked up the phone either, I really appreciate you, you know, being here and all that.” I watch the corners of his lips tug into a frown, muscles I haven’t quite learned to use yet, as he runs his fingers through his hair. I scoot just a bit closer, there's this look in his eyes. Something sad, vulnerable even. I try my best to soften my demeanor, to present as something that's not a threat. It does not come naturally.
He looks away, glancing back at the screen, unsure of himself I’d presume. Maybe I can be of comfort. I place my hand on his where it rests on the couch, I try to remain non threatening. This contact feels deeply strange, I can feel every inch of his warm skin from the tip of my fingers to the end of my palm. He might agree given the look on his face. He looks me up and down with widened eyes, is this not how you comfort?
The serenity I felt is long gone but something different has taken hold of me. It's a familiar feeling, quickened heartbeat, amplified senses, adrenaline pumping through me, but how can I, in fight or flight, feel so still. “Oh.. wow. I didn’t-” Hesitance laces his voice. “I didn’t take you for a very touchy person.”
I’m stuck being acutely aware of every little twitch of his hand and every little thing he does yet unable to do anything about it. Something’s changed.
My heart pumps in my chest, there's heat running up my face, a feeling rising in me with every second our skin remains touching. Something must be seriously wrong because as visceral as this feeling is I cannot for the life of me pull away. I can’t help but feel my very life is on the line as he reciprocates my touch and interlocks our fingers.
I feel so though I am suffocating as if something is gripping my heart and lungs, the air is heavy. The silence is deafening, every sensation overwhelming but with my muscles locked in place there's no end in sight. Why does he have to look at me like that, like there's always something he’s leaving unsaid.
And the hints of curiosity in his voice like he wants to know more, he thinks I don’t notice. And why does any of it have to bother me so much? Why does he have to make me care? Maybe I’m becoming weak.
What started in a moment ends just as quickly as his hand slips out of mine. I am already growing cold without his touch. “Again, thank you for being here. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He doesn’t sound so sad anymore at least. My heart is no longer pounding against my chest so hard, though I’m still left to my thoughts, and ultimately I am left feeling empty.
I’d want him to come back and make me whole again if it wasn’t for the horrible feelings that came with. But it's no matter, it shouldn’t be long before he falls asleep and he never locks his bedroom door.
—————
I'm by no means serious about the ship but i think its neat tbh, also nonhuman characters are so real to me so theres that
Hope you enjoyed X3
#wears a human skinsuit and is possibly a flesh eating monster x just a fucking guy#my strange roommate#ashur gharavi#agcu#first fic ever wow woww#more of a reader not a writer💀#Spotify
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My dad and I had a very long day but we are starting to figure some things out.
His main issue is circulation to his right foot. That is causing most of his pain and discomfort. His right big toe is a goner. But if they can restore circulation to his foot with a stent, then that is all he will lose. But there is a major worry that he could lose half his foot or all of his foot or even part of his leg if the catheter procedure with the stent is unable to improve circulation.
The more foot they take, the harder it will be to walk. And if he can't walk at all, I might not be able to take care of him. And that would suck for a myriad of reasons. My possible homelessness being a real concern.
The podiatrist was real doom and gloom about all the possible amputations and scared my dad with worst case scenarios. I didn't appreciate that. I mean, I know he had to present all the possible outcomes, but can we at least do the procedure tomorrow before we talk about losing a leg? I don't know.
That said, we are told this doctor that puts in the stents is one of the best in the world. He has won awards for this and everything. So if anyone can save my dad's foot, it is him.
I still think my dad has an infection. He was pretty lucid today, but for the last 30 minutes he has been seriously hallucinating. I can still communicate with him, but he is very loopy. He hasn't slept all day and they gave him a Percocet and that made him quite, umm... high as balls. So if there is an infection combined with no sleep and an opioid med, I would guess that is a recipe for delirium. They are going to give him an Ambien tonight so I am hoping he'll get some long deep sleep and hopefully that will fix the delirious state he is in. It has worked in the past.
I had a great conversation with his kidney doctor today. She is wonderful and I wish we saw her more often. She is one of the smartest doctors I think I've ever encountered but also incredibly kind, funny, and empathetic. She reminded me of a cordial Black auntie but like with a Mensa membership. She went from complimenting my dad's silver hair and making fun of her husband for using Just For Men hair dye to hacking the hospital computer to find my dad's sleep study results that we have been unable to obtain since July... and then perfectly interpreting them without being a sleep specialist.
She is not just proficient in kidney issues, but she seems to have well above average knowledge of many medical issues outside her purview. She gave us some great advice on a variety of problems my dad is facing. She also gave a great explanation on why my dad has issues with his breathing and requires constant oxygen. Can you believe after all this time no one has been able to give me a good answer on why he needs oxygen? I've had several doctors just say they didn't know. But I ask her and she tells me his lungs have trouble inflating all the way. I forgot the medical term, but he can not inhale deeply. So it's like working with half lung capacity at all times. She recommended a breathing exercise toy thingie. It's like a game where you inhale and try to lift a little ball. You do your exercises every day and hopefully increase the power of your suck over time.
After (hopefully) fixing the foot, my secondary concern is my dad's mental decline. He was lucid in the morning and most of the afternoon. But after a Percocet he was grabbing for imaginary pills in the air and trying to eat them. It is very hard to take care of him when he has these episodes. Especially since he gets them at night. I am not able to sleep when this happens. He becomes a danger to himself and sometimes tries to get up and walk places when he doesn't have the balance. One time he tried cooking raw potatoes on the stove top and nearly burned himself. He just put whole ass potatoes in a hot pan and thought he was cooking them for my mom. That was a very difficult night. But until last week he hadn't had an episode in nearly a year.
So I am hoping once the infection is completely gone and he is back in his own bed and able to get quality rest, these events will be rare again. But I am worried they may be a more common occurrence and I will have to adapt my caretaking to accommodate them. Perhaps I could sleep in the morning and afternoon instead of late evening. I dunno.
Anyway, his catheter procedure is in the morning and then I think he has dialysis. Since he won't be in his room most of the day, tomorrow might be a rest day for me. I'll stay home and try to catch up on all the sleep I've lost.
We are working it out. I think my dad has a decent prognosis at this point. But there are still many things that could go wrong. I am choosing to be optimistic at this point.
One final thought... my dad's medical care would be substantially worse if I was not there to advocate for him. It makes me feel sad for all of the elderly people out there who don't have someone to speak on their behalf trying to get them the best medical care possible. Like, if I didn't tell them he needs Ambien to sleep in the hospital, he could be so far into delirium right now that they would be unable to communicate with him at all.
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