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#I'm honored my words have such meaning to you💕💕💕🥺

javierpena-inatacvest · 2 months

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Chapter 20 pt. 1- I Do

Summary: It's finally here, the day you've been waiting for since the day Javi came into your life and changed it for the better- It's your wedding day, and things couldn't be more perfect. Except for the fact that you and Javi can barley contain your excitement as you wait to see each other.

Word Count: 11.4K (If this wasn't 2 parts, this would be 30k long and wouldn't be finished until May)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, praise kink, marriage kink (?), kind of semi-public sex (they're gettin' busy in the bathroom), Kind of getting caught (Steve needs to mind his own business), wedding things!!, family dynamics, mentions of death/grief, lots of emotions, Javi being an anxious, blubbering, hot mess, Javi being so in love and is so excited to spend the rest of his life with you that it physically hurts me (this chapter is lots of fluff and feelings and not as much smut, sorry!! Don't worry, there's PLENTY more to come next chapter 🤪)

A/N: Hi friends!!! Well, she's finally here, the moment we've all been waiting for- our two favorite idiots are finally getting married 😭💕 While I would have loved to make this one chapter, it literally would have been SO long, and Lord knows when I actually would have finished with it. So this chapter is the morning leading up to the ceremony, and part 2 will be the ceremony and reception!! I'm not even gonna lie, I bawled several times writing this chapter. These two mean so much to me, and I'm so honored that you care enough about them to be invested in my silly little story, too 🥺 HAPPY WEDDING DAY!!!

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For the better part of his life, Javier Peña was convinced there was nothing more soul-crushingly painful and miserable than a wedding. On a day that was supposed to be filled with happiness and joy, Javi had spent more years than he’d like to admit doing anything to avoid the occasion all together. Because for him, weddings had meant none of those things. Weddings had only served as yet another reminder of the failure he had chalked himself up to be.

Leaving Lorraine at the altar and running away to Colombia.

Watching the successes of everyone else’s blissful domestic lives play out in front of him, while he’d never felt so alone.

Convincing himself that he would never be worthy of love because of the terrible person that he’d become.

Weddings had been something that Javier Peña hated more than most things in life.

But that was until he met you.

Because today, on the morning of his own wedding, Javi was quite literally bursting at the seams with excitement, goofy grin stretched from ear to ear knowing that in a few short hours, he got to marry the most amazing, beautiful, perfect woman he had ever met. And even though the reality had set in that today was finally the day the two of you started your forever together, he was positive that he’d never get over the reality that you would always be his.

As he pulled his truck up the driveway to your new home where he should have been sleeping for the better half of last night, there was a part of him that couldn’t have been more thankful he had been able to sneak in just a few more hours with you before sunrise, knowing the anxious anticipation of waiting to see you all day, let alone see you in your wedding dress at the other end of the aisle, was enough to already have his heart beating a million miles a minute at the ripe hours of the morning.

While he should have known better his Dad would already be well awake by the time he snuck back home, Chucho’s welcoming grin from the front porch was already laced with enough forgiveness for Javi to hope he’d be spared at least some shit from his father.

“”Morning, mijo.” Chucho chuckled, watching Javi’s sheepish stride up the driveway towards the house, slowly sipping on his cup of coffee with a boyish grin on his face, knowing damn well where his son had been without having to say a word.

“I already know what you’re gonna say, Pops.” Javi sighed, shaking his head in embarrassment as he approached his dad, letting out a soft grunt as he took a seat next to his father on the top step of the front porch.

“I haven’t said anything, Javier. Do you have something you want to say?” Chucho couldn’t help but snicker, raising his eyebrows at his son, as he watched his cheeks turn a petrified pink.

“Nope, I am- oh, fuck me- nope I am, uh, all good.” Javi stammered, burying his hands in his face before running them through the sleepy curls of his hair and over the nape of his neck, his eyes still peeled to the ground, avoiding Chucho’s smug grin.

“Then all I have to say is,” Cucho paused, taking another swig of coffee, “I hope you never stop loving her the way that you do now.” Javi looked up at his dad in confusion, wondering how his sneaking out wasn’t shaping up to be some sort of teenage scolding from his father. “I already know that you know you are a very, very lucky man Javier, but I also hope that you know you are going to make a wonderful husband. Eres un buen hombre. Estoy muy feliz por ti, mijo. Tu madre también lo estaría. Muy feliz.” (You are a good man. I am so happy for you, son. Your mom would be, too. So happy.)

Letting his eyes shift off his feet where they had been stuck, Javi looked back up at his father, tears welling in his eyes at Chucho’s reassuring smile, reaching out to wrap his arm around his son, pulling him close enough to let Javi’s head fall on his shoulder, the two sitting for a quiet moment in silence.

Javi couldn’t help but feel a twinge in his heart, thinking about the fact his mom wouldn’t be with him for the biggest day of his life. His mother had left this world when Javi was at his lowest- alone and halfway across the globe, fighting for a cause he wasn’t even sure he believed in. It had always haunted him that his mom had died worried that her son had become a broken man, and would never be proud of the person he’d turned out to be. When he returned home, he felt even worse thinking that his one living parent probably felt that way, too.

But what brought him solace in a time that he needed it most, was you. You had given him a reason to make his parents proud, to make himself proud. While his mom would never be able to tell him the words he so desperately longed to hear, he knew in his heart that the life he’d built because of you was all the comfort he needed to prove to himself Lucia was smiling down on him when he needed it most. And as he looked up at the sky, the pink and orange rays of the beautiful sunrise beginning to spill over the horizon, he had never been more sure that even though his mom couldn’t physically be by his side, that Lucia Peña would still be with him every step of the way.

“Fuck, I miss her, Pops. I wish she was here.”

“She is, Javier. She always will be.”

After soaking in a few more quiet moments together staring out into the shimmering sunrise, Chucho let out a content sigh, giving Javi a gentle pat on the back and rustling the dark curls of his son’s thick hair.

“But, if there is one thing I know about your Mother, it’s that I can practically hear her screeching at us wasting our time being sad about her on the happiest day of your life. Chucho, por qué piedres el tiempo estar triste? Basta de quejarte! Nuestro hijo se está casando, pendejo!” (Why are you wasting your time being sad! Stop moping! Our son is getting married, stupid.) Chucho mocked, shaking his head at the sky at the scolding he knew he’d be getting from his wife, making him and Javi burst into laughter. “And, if there’s another thing I know about your mother,” Chucho paused again, letting out a loud grunt as he pushed himself up to stand, resting his arm on Javi’s shoulder, “it’s that her and I would both agree there better be a nieto (grandchild) in our lives 9 months from now. Dios mío (oh my God), Javier, even on the night before your wedding you two can’t keep your hands to yourselves! I am truly surprised I don’t have 14 grandchildren already.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Pops….” Javi whispered to himself over his dad’s schoolgirl snickers, watching his son’s face fall flush once again, standing up to follow behind his dad back inside as Chuhco began to waddle his way across the porch.

Although Javi could have tried to plead his case to his dad to prove his innocence, truth be told, today, he really didn’t care. Today, the only thing he cared about was that in just a few short hours, he got to meet you, his wife, at the end of the aisle and spend his forever with the woman he loved more than life itself. For the first time in his life, Javier Peña couldn’t have been more excited for a wedding.

You weren’t sure how many more times you had read the scratchy print scribbled across the bright yellow post-it Javi had left behind on his pillow before he had snuck out for the morning, but you did know that your heart beat faster and faster in anxious anticipation with every glance over his words, counting down the second until you got to see him again.

You had kept yourself in your room, convinced that your excited impatience would have you awake well before everyone else still sleeping at the ranch, but as you heard clanging and bickering starting to echo from the kitchen, you should have known better that your mom and Connie would be up to something to kick start your wedding day.

With a yawn and stretch of your arms above your head, you flopped yourself out of bed, exchanging Javi’s worn t-shirt and sleep shorts for the white pajama set your mom had insisted she buy for you to get ready in as a compromise for your adamant despise at the white silky robe that had “bride” stitched across it in big pink letters that she had begged to buy you.

Shuffling down the hallway, the commotion in the kitchen only became increasingly louder, now realizing almost everyone must be awake for whatever antics were taking place for the early hours of the morning. As you turned the corner, you were greeted by an adorable “Happy Wedding Day!” banner that had been made by the girls hanging on the wall, decorated with adorable crayon drawings of flowers, you and Javi, and all of the horses of the Peña ranch dressed in wedding apparel. As your eyes scanned across the rest of the room, the kitchen table was already full of breakfast, balloons dangled from the ceiling, and your mom and Connie were actively working on filling up what was most likely one too many glasses of mimosas.

“Happy wedding day, Auntie Bear!” A little voice cooed behind you, looking down to see a still very sleepy Olivia, hair still crazed and bed ridden as she wrapped herself around your hip, squeezing you in a tight hug.

“Ahhhhh, there’s the bride!!” Your mom shrieked, her pitch enough to make everyone in the room wince as she barreled towards you, joining Olivia to engulf you in her grasp. After everyone had recovered from your mom’s shrill greeting, everyone else had soon joined in on squeezing you in a giant group hug, the gesture in itself making you smile, but the physical restraint in the middle of a human sandwich being a little too much for you this early in the morning.

“Thanks guys. I uh, I would like to make it out alive for my wedding so maybe if we don’t squish me to death, that would be great.” You grunted, trying to wriggle out of the arms squishing your body, hoping that someone would get the hint.

“Alright, I think she’s probably had enough.” Connie laughed, finally noticing the look on your face, prompting everyone to give you at least a little breathing room.

“I’m just so excited for you! I can’t believe you’re getting married, sweetie!” Your mom, clearly not picking up on the hint, was now back to squeezing you in a bear hug again tight enough to make your eyes pop out of your head. “Okay, sorry, sorry, I’m done now, just had to get one last one out of my system… for now. Here, have a seat, honey,” Your mom gestured towards the kitchen table, pulling out a chair for you to sit in, “we have about an hour before we have to start doing hair and makeup but we have plenty of breakfast for you to choose from before we get the day started. How’d you sleep?”

“Oh, um- fine, I um, I slept fine.” You lied, now sheepishly staring down at the overflowing plate of breakfast food your mom had set in front of you, taking a hefty bite of pancake before looking back up, your eyes meeting Connie’s, a suspicious smirk gleaming on her face as she stared at you, crossing your arms over your chest as you swallowed your food with a more audible than intended gulp.

“Oh good!” Your mom replied, obvious to yours and Connie’s silent interaction as she meandered around the kitchen. “Well, eat up, I’m off to go check on some things outside, but by the time I get back in here, that plate better be cleared! Girls, come help Grandma, let your Aunt finish her breakfast!”

“Okay!” Your nieces giggled, following behind your mom into the backyard, leaving you and Connie alone in the kitchen, hearing her silently laugh to herself as she sat down next to you at the table.

“Good sleep, huh? Good sleep that definitely had nothing to do with Javi’s truck that left here at 6:00 AM this morning?” Connie snickered, giving you a little wink as your cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, letting out a defeated sigh.

“I promise it’s not what you think. I actually couldn’t sleep and I called Javi and he ended up coming over so I wouldn’t be up the whole night. I told him he didn’t have to, but I was up and stressed and having him here was the only thing that was going to help. It was just sleep, I promise.”

“It’s okay, I believe you. I couldn’t sleep the night before my wedding either. I’m pretty sure if I did what you had done, Steve would have slept right through the phone call, or still would have been too drunk to drive over.” The two of you quietly giggled to yourselves as Connie reached out for your hand, holding it in hers, “I hope you know that he loves you so much. It always broke my heart to see Javi go through what he did, and how hard on himself he was because of it. You really are the best thing that could have ever happened to him. I’m so happy for the two of you, I couldn’t be more excited for today, honey.”

Reaching across the table, Connie wrapped her arms around you, squeezing you in another hug, trying to hold back your sniffles as you felt happy tears beginning to well in your eyes.

“Thank you, Connie.”

“Of course. Now, you better pick what you want from that breakfast and throw away the rest before your mom gets back, I don’t think either one of us wants to be responsible for telling her that her food wasn’t sufficient enough for you.”

You snorted, rolling your eyes at the thought of the dismay your mom would be in thinking that you didn’t get enough to eat before your big day as you put a reasonable amount of breakfast on a new plate to eat, discarding the other heaping pile that your mom had left you.

“You are a smart woman, Connie Murphy.”

“So I’ve been told.”

The rest of the morning seemed to move by at an exponential pace- At the Pena ranch, hair and makeup was well underway for everyone, and running on time with incredible efficiency from the detailed schedule that your mom and Connie had put together. Even though your body was riddled with endless amounts of anxious anticipation and excitement as the clock ticked closer and closer to when Javi and the rest of the boys would finally get here, you were pleasantly surprised at how fun the morning had ended up being with all the girls, especially since your nieces and the Murphy girls had insisted on putting on a hilarious sing along spectacular for the majority of the time for entertainment while you got ready.

Over at your new house, however, with the only getting ready that Javi needed to do being taking a shower and putting on his suit, the boys were convinced that he was going to put a hole in the floor from his anxious pacing as he counted down the minutes to leave.

“Jav, have a beer, man, you just put this floor in, I think your wife’s gonna be pissed when she finds out she has to replace it before y’all even move in because you can’t sit still.” Steve chuckled, taking a sip out of his can before nudging your brothers sitting next to him on the couch as they watched their friend and future brother in law tread back and forth across the living room for what felt like the 117th time since they’d sat down.

“I think I have to agree with Steve on this one, Javier, you are making me anxious and I’m not even the one getting married.” Chucho chimed in from the armchair seated next to the couch.

“I’ll second what Steve said, man. Have a beer, Javi. You haven’t shut up all day about how fuckin’ excited you are, so what’s got you so worked up? You’ve seen her in a dress before dude, this one’s just white.” Your brother David snorted, his joke now soliciting some eye rolls from the rest of the boys, considering David was about single as they came, and was the only one of the group who wasn’t even remotely close to being married.

“It’s a fucking wedding dress, you dingus, there’s obviously a difference.” Your dad groaned, walking up to your brother to give him a prompt smack in the back of the head, making your other brother Charlie snicker to himself, until he also decided to greet him with an equally harsh slap for good measure.

“What the fuck was that for? I didn’t say anything!” Charlie winced, holding his hands up in defense.

“Tell your brother to stop being an ass! She’s your sister too, for Christ’s Sake, you’re not gonna stand up for her either?! Jesus you two are the biggest idiots I’ve ever met. Even Patrick would have had enough common sense to keep that one in his head. Well, maybe not, but that’s besides the point.” That one at least cracked a little smile from your brothers, wishing that Patrick would have been here to see their sister’s big day, and to distribute the slapping pain more equally between the pair.

“I just… Fuck, I just wanna see her. I can’t wait to see her. I’ve never wanted anything so bad in my whole life. The suspense is fucking killing me.” Javi signed, resting one hand on his hip before running his hand through his hair, anxiously drumming his fingers on his side, foot tapping on the well worn path he had been treading on the hardwood floor of the living room.

Chucho chuckled, resting his hands on his knees and pushing himself up to stand with a low grunt, making his way over to his son, resting his hand on his shoulder as he looked up at him. “Eres como tu madre.. Impaciente. (You are just like your mother… Impatient). Mijo, I remember when I married your mother, she was so excited that she actually asked if we could start the wedding an hour early, just so we could see each other sooner. I can almost hear her laughing at the fact that her son is no better than her. How I wish she were here to see this. Soon, Javier. I promise.”

“Do you think she’s gonna like the gift? You made sure she has it for today, right? And everything from her brothers too?” Javi asked, nervously biting at the tip of his thumb as he glanced down at his father before looking over at David and Charlie sitting on the couch, smiling back at him.

“Yes, Javier. I triple checked last night. I’m sure that she will love it. I know she will love it. All of it. Now, why don’t you go put on your suit and we can leave a little ahead of schedule, I will just make sure to drive extra slow. Even slower than normal. I think if we wait any longer you may actually combust.” He teased, pulling Javi into a tight hug before releasing him, giving him a gentle pat on the back.

“Alright boys, you heard the man, get your sorry asses moving and let’s get these monkey suits on, it’s time to get this boy married!” David cheered, holding up his beer to toast Javi before promptly chugging the rest of it down his throat and slamming it down on the table, soliciting another round of eye rolls and muffled laughter from the crowd.

Silently nodding and smiling to himself, letting out one last reassuring breath before looking at the boys standing in front of him.

“Fuck. I’m gonna get married.”

Back at the ranch, the last of getting ready was beginning to wrap up, all the girls' hair and makeup finally finished, and the youngest of the crew giddily dancing in their flower girl dresses, twirling and swirling in excitement at their pristine outfits as they gathered around you, patiently awaiting for you to get into your own wedding dress.

For as long as you’d wanted to get married, you’d always known that you wanted your wedding dress to be simple- No excessive frills, poof, glitter, or anything that made you feel like you were playing dress up for the world’s goofiest fashion show, simply because it was your wedding, and your dress needed to reflect the extravagance of the event. Your style choice came as a surprise to no one, given the fact you had practically lived in your brother’s hand-me-down’s until the 8th grade, and even when your mom had flown down a few months ago to go dress shopping with you and Connie, she had even laid down the hammer with one of the wedding dress consultants that you wouldn’t even step anywhere near a dress that was an ounce too over the top.

That’s why you were absolutely shocked that despite your firm parameters around what you wanted to wear for your big day, that you fell in love with the very first dress you tried on, and never looked back.

It was everything you wanted and never you needed in a dress- a simple a-line skirt with thin straps that ran across your shoulders and scooped down your back, along with a delicate, lacy floral pattern stitched across your top that flowed down the wispy length of your gown. There were few times that you had ever admitted it to yourself, but you had truly never felt more beautiful than when you were wearing that dress, and when you had tried it on for the first time, only to turn around to see the tears welling in your mom and Connie’s eyes as you revealed it to them, it was every confirmation that you needed that this dress was made for you.

And while you had been counting down the days in excitement, waiting to put your dress on for your big day, Javi had been counting down along with you, to the point where Connie had made the executive decision to keep the dress at her house to prevent any preemptive peeking, considering that Javi had spent every day since you had bought your dress telling you how he couldn’t wait to see how beautiful you were going to look in it, without even knowing a single clue about what you had boughten, besides your lovingly sarcastic and vague “It’s a dress, and it’s white, Jav.”

But after all the time you had spent imagining what it would be like to finally put your dress on for your actual wedding day, you almost couldn’t believe that you were finally here, carefully taking the straps off the hanger where it had been resting, holding the beautiful, white fabric out in front of you with a goofy grin spread across your face, eyeing down the outfit that meant you got to spend forever with your best friend.

“You ready to put it on?” Connie asked softly, her hand resting on your shoulder as she stepped behind you, excitedly gazing at your dress right alongside you.

“Yeah.” You smiled, gently nodding your head as you looked back at Connie, taking one last deep breath before passing off the dress to her before shimmying out of your clothes, letting them fall to a pile on the floor before turning to Connie, stepping into the opening of the dress and carefully pulling each strap over your shoulders while she pulled the zipper along your back, letting out a little sigh of relief as it clasped at the top. With one more long inhale, you slowly turned around to face everyone, eagerly awaiting your reveal, picking up your gown with a little floof as it gently draped around you, meeting the tears and smiles painted across everyone’s faces while they gazed at you.

“Auntie Bear, you look like a princess! Uncle Javi is gonna think that you look like the most beautifulest person he’s ever seen.” Olivia squealed, jumping up and down in excitement before running over to you, wrapping her little arms around your waist in a tight hug.

“Oh sweetheart…. You look absolutely stunning.” Your mom sniffled through her tears, holding her hands crossed over her chest, soaking in your full wedding ensemble.

“You look gorgeous. Like, seriously. I hope you know that Javi’s gonna lose his mind when he sees you in this.” Connie giggled, giving you a wink and a playful nudge, looking you up and down in astonishment.

Stepping over to see yourself in the mirror, your heart skipped a beat to see yourself, your stomach churning with anxious, excited butterflies knowing that you were only getting closer and closer to finally seeing Javi and his reaction, trying your best to not your smirk grow too wide between your warm cheeks, thinking about his reaction.

“You really think he’s gonna like it?” You asked, your eyes still fixed at your reflection in the mirror, gently swaying your lacy, floral skirt back and forth, running your hand against the delicate fabric.

“Honey, I’ve watched that man ogle over you in a hockey jersey. I told the boys they’re in charge of making sure he doesn’t faint when you walk down the aisle.” Your mom teased, Connie nodding her head in agreement.

“I’m gonna second your mom on this one, girl. Steve has a running bet with the guys on how long it takes Javi to cry after he sees you. I think the over/under is 2 seconds, but after seeing you right now, I’m convinced he’s all waterworks from the moment he lays eyes on you.”

Connie’s comment made you laugh to yourself, shaking your head at the idea of Javi instantly bursting into tears from just the sight of you, but when you thought about seeing Javi in his tux (that you had already seen before, multiple times) and what a mess you were going to be, maybe the boy’s betting line didn’t seem so unfair after all.

“Speaking of tears…” Connie smirked at your mom, nodding at her to signify some little secret they seemed to be in on, “There’s one last thing you need to see before… Well, we’ll let you open it up and find out.”

With that, your mom reached over to one of the tables where a white box with a neatly wrapped bow had been hidden, your mom passing it to Connie before then passing it over to you, making you tilt your head in confusion as you took the box in your hands, looking back and forth between your mom, Connie and the box waiting for some sort of explanation.

“What is this?” you questioned, still puzzled as you noticed the gift tag hidden under the bow, gently peeling it open, their suspicious smirks beginning to spread as you read the all too familiar scratchy handwriting inside.

To: Osita

Love: Javi

Now even more confused, you carefully began unwrapping the bow from around the packaging, letting the ribbon fall to the floor, followed by the lid of the box, revealing another longer note from Javi, resting on top of a bed of neatly folded tissue paper. You sat down in one of the chairs close by, letting the box rest on your lap as you held the note in your hands, already beginning to tremble as you felt the tears start to well in your eyes as you began to read.

Osita,

I knew from the moment I met you, that I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t believe that day is finally here. I hope that this day is everything that you could ever dream it to be.

I hope you know that if I could I would give you everything. The moon, the sun, the stars- if you wanted it, I would give it to you.

But I know that no matter how hard I try, there is one thing I know can’t give to you, and that’s the presence of the people who aren’t with us anymore.

And while I can’t bring back your brother or my mom to be here today, I hope that what’s in this box will remind you that they’ll always be here for you, no matter what.

I know my mom would have wanted you to have this. There’s not a day that goes by that I wish she could have met you. She would have loved you so much. I hope she knows that you’re the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

Your family was able to find something of your brother’s for you to have on here too- I wish I could have met him. I hope he knows how much I love you, and the beautiful and resilient woman you’ve become. I hope he knows how proud I am of you.

I can’t wait to see you, amor. I can’t even imagine how beautiful you look right now. I’m the luckiest man in the world.

I love you more than words, and I promise I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life making sure you know it.

Happy Wedding Day, Osita. Soy tuyo para siempre (I’m yours forever).

-J

You could feel your heart practically exploding after reading what Javi had wrote for you, wiping away the wetness from your cheeks, you took a deep breath as you carefully set down his note next to you before ever so slowly peeling back the layers of tissue paper folded on top of one another, hiding the gift hidden beneath them. As the last layer of the delicate paper was shed, you let out a gasp, you hand covering your mouth in shock as you put together the pieces of Javi’s note and the present now sitting in your lap, looking up at everyone else in the room, nodding back at you with sympathetic smiles and tears in their eyes at your realization.

Not only had Javi had given you his mother’s wedding veil to wear, but stitched in the bottom corner was a patch of Patrick’s old hockey jerseys, a small number 2 from his arm sleeve, the number he had worn for every jersey he had ever played in.

“Oh my… Oh my god? I can’t, I- how did you- oh my god.” You whispered to yourself, your voice trembling in disbelief, tears now streaming down your face as you held the veil in your hands, your thumb gently tracing over the worn patch of Patrick’s jersey, truly too stunned to speak at what Javi had done for you, to make sure a piece of two people who were no longer with you could still be a part of the biggest day of your life.

“Can I put it on?” Your mom asked, smiling at you with tears in her eyes, walking towards you as you nodded, handing her over the veil as she gently nestled it into your hair, straightening it out behind you, even more tears streaming down her face while she watched your reaction in the mirror.

Not only was Lucia’s veil absolutely beautiful, if you hadn’t known any better, you would have thought Javi had asked someone to see what your dress looked like to pick out a veil that matched it perfectly. Like it truly was meant to be.

Still too shocked to form any sort of coherent thought, you stared at yourself in the mirror, silently smiling and crying at your reflection until a soft knock came from outside the bedroom door, making everyone in the room whip their heads around to see all of the boys who had just arrived peeking through the door frame, waiting in anticipation.

“Can we come in? We’re dyin’ to see you, Cubby. Well, the one who’s dyin to see you the most we banished to the outside so he wasn’t even tempted to come in, but the rest of us fools still wanna see you too.” Your dad’s voice chuckled from behind the door, making you break from your crying just enough to let a soft laugh escape from your chest, nodding your head as you turned around to greet the gang gathered at the door.

Growing up the youngest of 3 brothers, sentimental wasn’t a term thrown around in your household very often. Of course you loved your family, and they loved you, but you and your brothers had often joked that it’d probably be easier to projectile vomit than to actually say the words “I love you” eachother. So that’s why when your dad and brothers walked through the door with awestruck looks on their faces, you couldn’t help but start crying even more.

Well, until they actually got a chance to speak.

“Don’t cry you dingus, you’re gonna mess up all your makeup. And god knows how long it took to try and make you look like you didn’t just crawl out of a garbage can.” David quietly snickered, pulling you in for a much gentler than usual headlock before wrapping his arms around you for a legitimate hug.

“Fuck off, David. How many people had to help you put that suit on, huh? You use every last brain cell trying to do up those buttons?” You teased back, trying to wipe the tears that had been rolling down your cheeks before giving him a loving slap to the stomach, making the two of you laugh even more.

“You know his dumbass needed all the help he could get.” Charlie joked, pulling you in for another hug before stepping back to look you up and down, “Not too shabby. You clean up good, Cubby.”

“Thanks Charlie.”

The last one to step towards you was your dad, who you could tell was trying with everything in him not to absolutely burst into tears, putting one hand on your shoulder as he smiled at you. “I’ll say it once and I won’t say it again because you know as well as I do I’m not good with the sappy shit. You look beautiful, Cubby. I’m so proud of you. I know Patrick would have been too. Although that motherfucker is probably pissed at us that we cut the number off of his favorite jersey, but I think he’ll forgive us.” Wrapping you in a tight squeeze, your dad engulfed you in a bear hug, quickly followed by your brothers and your mom, trapping you in the center of their bodies, knowing you all were wishing there was one more person there in your group to fill in your hug.

“I love you guys. Thank you.” You whispered, just loud enough to make sure they could hear, but quiet enough that even though your brothers had heard it, just this once, they wouldn’t give you shit for it. And just this once, everyone seemed to silently agree that they really, truly, did love you too.

After a few more seconds of your group hug, there was another soft knock on the door, followed by another familiar voice, Chucho and Steve now peeking through the doorway to say hello.

“Is it okay if we come in, Mija?” Chuco asked, already halfway through the door in excitement.

“Yes, of course.” You sniffed, breaking free from the middle of your group hug to greet Chucho, less than shocked that his hug was almost tighter than the 4 other members of your family combined.

“Mija… Mija, you look so beautiful. Oh, goodness. I had always saved this veil one day, just in case. And even though it sat in the attic for years, I pulled it out the week that Javier first met you. I don’t think that there was ever a doubt in anyone’s mind that you weren’t the one for him. My sweet Lucia would have been so happy to know that you have given Javier everything he never thought that he deserved. Oh, how I wish with everything she could have been here today to see how happy you make him. But I hope that you know, she would have been so excited that you get to be a part of our family.” He grinned through his tears, stepping back to look at you with a soft smile on his face, gently reaching up to wipe away the wetness on your cheek before pulling you back in for another hug. “I hope you know that Javier is going to be a wreck when he sees you. Poor boy has been in shambles all day waiting to see you.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the man this anxious. And that’s sayin’ somethin’.” Steve chimed in, laughing to himself. “You look great, sweetheart. Chucho’s right, Javi’s ‘bout to be a goddamn mess.”

As if your heart couldn’t feel any fuller from all of the love and warmth overflowing into the room, you had almost forgotten about the one person that had brought you all together in the first place- Javi.

You could feel the pace of your heart begin to race, your stomach swirling in anticipation as the reality of the situation slowly began to sink in.

Your future husband was here, and there was nothing more in the world that you wanted than to see him. Not soon, not at the end of the aisle, not waiting for you at the altar, right this very second.

“He’s here, right? Javi?” You asked, biting down on your lip to contain the stupid grin growing between your cheeks, swaying back and forth on your heels in childlike impatience. Before you could barely ask your question, all eyes in the room were on your, giving you a collective look that seemed to scream “Seriously? You can’t wait either?” without having to say a word.

As you could hear the beginning rumblings of protest, David stepped in as the most unexpected voice of reason, holding his hands up to the crowd in your defense, trying to silence everyone’s potential disagreement for what you were about to suggest.

“Listen… Y’all know as well as I do that we could hold back these two with iron restraints, and they’d still probably find a way to see each other before the ceremony. And to be quite honest, I am pretty convinced if we don’t let them, one of them is gonna fucking combust, and I am not willing to be held personally responsible for any damages done before you two idiots can even get married.”

Giving you a silent nod of approval, David stepped back to pat your back with the loving force that only a brother could, as everyone else in the room seemed to very quickly agree with his sentiment, joining with head bobs of quiet agreement.

“I’ll go let the big man know you’re comin’. Gotta find some way to redeem myself before I bust his balls in my speech later.” Steve snickered, giving you a quick wink before quickly disappearing out the door to find the man behind it, waiting half as patiently as you.

To say that Javi was disappointed when the boys booted him to the outdoors while everyone else got to go in and see you was the understatement of the year. Even though he couldn’t have been sitting on the front porch of his childhood home for more than 10 minutes, it felt like he had been waiting for hours, counting down each second until the moment he finally got to lay his eyes on you. After about 2 minutes of sitting in his dad’s rocking chair, nervously swaying as his hands shifted between his fingers drumming on his legs and balling up in anxious fists, he pushed himself up to stand, walking off the steps of the porch to pace in the front yard under the warmth of the late June sun.

He had been so preoccupied as he meandered the front of the home, picturing just how breathtaking you would look as you walked down the aisle to greet him- how gorgeous you would be in your dress, your hair, your stunning smile, everything about you that made him look at you and know that he was the luckiest man in the world. That you were his. That you were everything that made him feel like home. It wasn’t until after a few careless steps too far around the corner of the house, that Javi was catching himself from tumbling to the ground as he tripped over a larger than suspected rock underneath him, quietly cursing under his breath while he tried to steady himself, peering down at the ground to see what had almost caused his fall. And when he finally read the words etched into the round stone beneath him, he couldn’t help but laugh at the fact the thing resting below him was none other than the heading that read “Lucia’s Garden”.

“Jesus Christ, Ma, you’re not even here and you’re gonna take me out before the wedding even happens.” Javi chuckled to himself, gently tapping his foot against the rock, staring at the worn and weathered letters of her name. “You know, the very first time Pops met her, he let her work on the garden. I couldn’t believe it, because he barely lets me within 10 feet of here without worrying I’m gonna ruin something. But uh, I think that he knew. I think before he even met her, he already knew that she was the one.”

Letting out a soft sigh, Javi crouched down, squatting next to the stone, gently brushing his thumb across the grittiness, carefully tracing each letter back and forth, praying with every ounce of him that one way or another, she could hear what he had to say.

“I really wish you could be here, Mom. I really miss you. I really wish she could have gotten to meet you. I know that you’d love her.” Javi paused, his eyes beginning to well with tears, letting out a long, shaky exhale to try and compose himself. “She’s so good to me. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve her. She’s made me a better man. A man that I’m proud of. A man I hope you’d be proud of, too.” He paused again, pinching the bridge of his nose before wiping his wet cheeks with the back of his hand. “I know that uh- I know before, um you were gone, that you really worried about me. I know you’d never say it, but um, I could tell. And I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Mom.” His voice was now barely above a whisper, years of guilt and anger bubbling in his chest for the person he’d been, the life his mother had lived to see him play out while halfway across the world, fighting for a cause he wasn’t even sure he believed in anymore.

“But, I um- I just- fuck, I just want you to know that I’m okay. I’m more than okay, now. This is the happiest I’ve ever been, all because of her. We’re gonna build a house, we’re gonna have kids, we’re gonna be so happy, Mom. So fucking happy. Te amo mucho, Mama. Siempre lo hare (I love you so much, Mama. I always will).”

So focused on the quiet conversation with the simple stone sitting beneath him, Javi hadn’t even heard Steve’s hurried footsteps creeping up behind him, making Javi practically jump out of his skin as Steve’s hand met his shoulder.

“Hey, buddy. You ready to-”

“Jesus, fuck Murph. You scared the fucking shit out of me.” Javi gasped, thoroughly startled as he shot to his feet, quickly trying to wipe the tears from his face as he faced his friend.

“Sorry, man, I didn’t mean to, promise!” Steve laughed, holding his hands up in defense before letting his expression shift to concern at Javi’s face. “Hey, you okay, Jav?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m- No, I’m good, sorry. Just um- Just wish my mom could have been here for this, ya know? She would have really fucking loved her.”

“Hey, it’s okay, man. My dad was gone before my wedding, too. Fuckin’ sucks.” Steve smiled sympathetically, “Truth be told Jav, that girl you’re gonna marry, I think it’s hard for anyone not to love her. Your mom would be really happy for ya.”

“Thanks, Murph.” Javi huffed, a small smile spreading across his face at Steve’s genuine sympathy, a trait he didn’t see very often.

“C’mere, buddy.” Without giving him a choice, Steve wrapped his arms around Javi, pulling him in for a hug with a few stiff pats on the back before pulling away with a nod, hands on his hips as he stared down his friend with a shit eating grin, knowing the news he was about to tell Javi would instantly turn his mood around. “Speakin’ of your future wife… You wanna see her?”

“Wait, like, now? Like, actually?” Javi’s mood instantly shifted, his entire body lighting up at the prospect, looking at Steve with relief glistening in his dark brown eyes.

“Yeah, actually. Thank God your wife is just as obsessed with you as you are with her. Jesus Christ, I think the both of ya would have fuckin’ exploded if we made you wait ‘till the ceremony.” Steve chuckled, grabbing Javi’s shoulder and giving it a playful shake. “Alright, you turn around so it’s a surprise when she gets out here, lemme go get her. And Jav?” Steve asked, turning his head back over his shoulder to look at his friend as he began to walk away back towards the house.

“Yeah, Murph?”

“You’re losin’ that bet. No way in fuckin’ hell you ain’t sobbin’ like a baby the second you lay eyes on her.”

As Steve disappeared back into the house, Javi couldn’t help but quietly laugh to himself, because as much as he wanted to dish shit back to Steve, he knew his friend was right- He was about to be a fucking mess.

“So? Are we good? Does he wanna see me?” You asked, anxiously waiting at the door, feet tapping on the floor hidden underneath your dress as you waited for Steve’s return.

“No offense, Sweetheart, but that's just about the dumbest question I've ever heard. What do you think? Of course the bastard wants to see you. I’m just gonna warn ya though, that man is a hot mess, and I really think ya just may kill him the second he sees you.” The two of you laughed to yourselves, feeling your heart beat faster and faster in your chest with every passing second, using all of your self restraint to keep from bolting out the door past Steve to see Javi. “Alright, I won’t keep ya any longer, go get ‘em, killer.”

Before you could get yourself out the door, you embraced Steve in a hug, catching him off guard for a moment before he hugged you back, smiles spread across both your faces.

“Thanks, Steve.”

“Sweetheart, you ain’t got nothin’ to thank me for. If anything, hell, I should be thankin’ you. You two lovebirds are a match made in fuckin’ heaven. I was real worried about that old bastard for a long time. Glad to know I don’t have to worry about him anymore. Well, at least too much more. Now, enough about my sorry ass, go see your husband.”

With a silent nod, you gave Steve one more quick hug before you were turning the knob to the front door, quietly stepping out to the front porch to see Javi’s back to you at the bottom of the stairs, already trying to fight the tears welling in your eyes without even seeing his face. As you closed the door behind you, Javi instantly perked up, turning his head back over his shoulder just enough to speak, but not enough to see that it was you who was walking to greet him.

“She good to come out, Murph? I’m fucking dying out here.” Javi laughed, making you giggle at the fact that he had no idea it was you who was standing behind him.

“Hate to break it to you, but unfortunately, I am not Steve. So sorry.” You snickered, practically feeling Javi’s eyes roll at your sarcastic comment, even though the both of you were thankful for a little humor to break the anxious anticipation that had been festering in your stomachs since this morning.

“God, you’re such a dork.” He laughed, his back still turned to you as you took your final steps down the stairs with your dress in hand, trying to fluff it back out as you settled yourself behind him.

“Hey, you’ve got me for the rest of your life, babe. Lucky you. I’m not gonna lie, don’t think I cleaned up half bad, ya know, if you wanna see.” You teased, giving Javi a playful poke on the back as you bit down on your bottom lip, so excited to see Javi’s reaction you truly thought your heart was going to explode out of your chest.

“Baby, you have no fucking idea. C-can I, can I see you?” Javi stammered, his voice already beginning to tremble.

“Well, I think I’m gonna implode if you don’t, so yeah.” You took one last long inhale in, holding your breath as Javi slowly began to turn to face you, feeling like everything was suddenly moving in slow motion when Javi’s eyes finally locked with yours.

Javi couldn’t even get a word out before his hands were covering his mouth, his jaw dropping open in absolute awe to see you standing behind him. The tears he swore to himself he’d try to fight back were already streaming down his face, his eyes looking you up and down over and over again, trying to soak in every ounce of you, only crying harder as he noticed each and every new detail of you standing before him.

“Osita… Oh my god. Oh my god.” Javi’s hand stayed glued over his mouth to try and keep his jaw from dropping any further than it already was, absolutely mesmerized by your beauty, barely able to get out any sort of coherent thought out of his brain. “Baby, you, oh my god, you look so beautiful. You look so fucking beautiful.”

While you figured that Javi would cry and be excited to see you, nothing could have prepared you for the reaction that you were witnessing in real time, watching your future husband become a complete, blubbering mess at the sight of you, making it damn near impossible for you to hold it together yourself, considering the fact that you were also busy trying to take in the ridiculously handsome sight of Javi in his tuxedo- his broad body filling out every inch of the black fabric perfectly, hair and mustache impeccably groomed, and sweet, teary brown eyes sparkling in the sunlight, making you melt, tears rolling down your face as your heart bursted at the seams over and over again, wondering how in the world this wasn’t all some sort of a perfect dream.

“You like it?” You managed to choke out through your happy sobs, your cheeks straining from the stupid grin that had spread across your face, the both of you radiating in the blissful glow of your excitement.

“Like it? Osita, are you fucking kidding me? Do I like it? Holy shit, baby, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. You look... Osita, you look incredible.” Javi laughed through his tears, taking another step back to grab your hand, looking you up and down again before holding your arms up to twirl you in a circle, your dress flowing around you, making you giggle as you finally finished rotating to lock eyes with Javi again. “Hermosa, I knew you were gonna look amazing, but I- I never, I never could have imagined that you were gonna look like this.”

“Coming from you? Jesus, Jav, I’m convinced you’re trying to kill me in that tux before we can even get married. You look so good. Javi?” You paused, grabbing his other hand so your fingers were intertwined, his thumb automatically tracing soft circles on your skin.

“Yeah, baby?” Javi replied, biting down on his bottom lip as he gulped, trying to hold back the lump resting in his throat from his happy tears as he stared down at you.

“Javi… We’re getting married. We’re getting fucking married.”

“Fuck. We’re getting married. Holy shit.” As if the smile on Javi’s face couldn’t get any wider, his boyish grin gleamed between his cheeks, wrapping his arms around you to engulf you in a tight hug against his chest, the two of you laughing to yourself in disbelief that you had finally made it here- that only a few short moments, the two of you got to begin the rest of your forevers together. “Can I- Can I kiss you?” He asked in a soft whisper, pulling back to tilt his head towards yours, sliding one of his hands up to gently cup your cheek, shifting your gaze up towards him.

“What kind of question is that, you dork?” You teased, bringing your mouth close enough to his to let your lips barely ghost over one anothers, butterflies swarming in a sea of excitement.

“Because I’m afraid if I start kissing you, I’m not gonna be able to stop.”

“Do your worst, Peña.”

As if time began to move in slow motion, your mouths met with an electric and tender intensity, slowly becoming a mix of tangled tongues and teeth, your hand sneaking under the opening of Javi’s suit jacket to wrap around his waist as the grip around your face began to tighten, your bodies melting together as one in a nearly magical moment- Well, as magical as it could get before being interrupted by all your friends and family that had gathered on the front porch to share in the moment with you.

“Hey! Lovebirds! Jesus Christ, save it for the ceremony!” Steve shouted, a chorus of laughter erupting behind him, startling you and Javi.

“Good Lord, Steve, give it a rest. They missed each other!” Connie sighed, shaking her head at her husband’s loud interruption.

“Yeah, that’s our sister, you pervert!” David chimed in, the familiarity of his taunting voice making you roll your eyes, putting your hands on your hips as you stared back at the crowd.

“Will you can it, you dingus? It’s their wedding day for Christ’s sake!” Your dad groaned, slapping David in the back of the head.

“Daddy, what’s a pervert?” Olivia asked, looking over at Charlie as Chucho held her against his hip, grimacing as he tried not to laugh at the exchange.

“Seriously David, really? Grow up! They’re so adorable, let your sister have this.” Your mom scolded, promptly giving him another whack to the stomach, you and Javi now laughing to each other at the scene that was unfolding in front of you on the porch.

“Well,” You giggled, giving Javi a playful nudge, “It seems like everyone else has been able to solve the ‘you not being able to stop kissing me’ problem.”

“Jesus Christ…” Javi sighed to himself, running his hand over his face as he stared back into the crowd watching you and him, “Can we get a few more minutes to ourselves before the ceremony? Please? I haven’t seen her all day.”

“C’mon, let’s give the two some privacy. Lindas (cuties), why don’t we go look to make sure all the flowers are ready. Maybe we can practice walking down the aisle again?” Cucho smiled at the two of you, giving Javi a subtle wink as the girls began to giggle with delight, racing off to the backyard in a fit of squeals of excitement.

“We’ll do another check of everything, too, I wanna make sure everything’s in place before the ceremony. Do you mind helping, Connie? Boys, will you go check to make sure all the food and drinks are ready for cocktail hour” Your mom asked, picking up on Chucho’s hint to give the two of you some space, now trying to rope your dad, brothers and Steve into that equation as well.

“Can I have a beer if I help?”

“Jesus Christ, David.”

Everyone's conversations began to trail as they headed their separate ways, leaving you and Javi standing in the front yard alone, once again, looking at each other with mischievous grins- Yours from knowing damn well that Javi had something up his sleeve, and Javi’s from the something stored up there.

“What’s that look for, Jav?” You smirked, crossing your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at Javi as you waited for him to let you in on whatever plan he had brewing in his brain.

“I think… I think that I really have to go to the bathroom.” Javi replied, boyish grin glowing between his cheeks as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest.

“And you’re really making it seem like going to the bathroom is a two person job.” You snickered, rolling your eyes at Javi, knowing exactly what he was implying. “Baby, the ceremony is gonna start in an hour, everyone’s here and I don’t think there’s gonna be enough-”

Before you could finish your thought, Javi was swallowing the rest of your sentence in a long, deep kiss, only pulling away to quietly rasp in your ear.

“Is that a challenge, Osita? I promise I’ll be fast, baby, you just look so fucking beautiful, and I don’t think I’m gonna make it if I can’t have my wife all to myself, even if it’s just for a few minutes. ”

“God, you’re such a drama queen.” You sighed with a snicker, heat creeping in your core knowing that you had just as little self control as Javi did, peeking your head to make sure that everyone had dispersed before they watched you and Javi sneak inside together. “We have to be quick, okay? I just don’t want-AH! Javi!” You squealed as Javi was scooping you off your feet mid sentence, very fittingly carrying you bridal style across the front yard and up the steps of the porch, nudging the door open with his hip, the two of you all giggles and smiles as he whisked you through the house, stopping at his childhood bedroom, promptly setting you on the ground to shut the door behind him.

With a click of the lock and a rattle of the door handle to make sure they were safe from intruders, Javi’s hands were all over you in an instant, his mouth crashing into yours as he walked you back towards the ensuite attached to his bedroom, hoisting you up onto the kitchen sink as he shut the bathroom door behind him for an extra layer of protection.

You could tell how hard Javi was trying to keep himself in check, considering the amount of time and effort that had gone into your hair and makeup, and the delicacy of your dress, but it was taking every ounce of self control he had to not rip it right off you. Softly letting his kisses trail down your body, Javi began to sink to his knees, smirking up at you with his awestruck gaze as he carefully began to lift up the layers of your dress, running his hands up and down your bare thighs.

“Do you know how fucking beautiful you are, Osita? Fuck, I can’t believe you’re gonna be my wife. My beautiful, amazing, perfect wife.” The hot breath of his words danced against your skin as Javi peppered soft kisses up the inside of your thighs, his head almost disappearing underneath your dress as he creeped closer and closer to your core, already soaked with your arousal waiting for Javi’s touch. “You’re mine forever, Hermosa. Fuck, I’m so lucky. I love you so much.”

“I-I love you too, Javi.” You whined, your breath already shaky as Javi’s fingers hooked around the waistband of your underwear, tugging them down your legs and letting them drop to the floor below you before letting his fingers glide through your folds, already glistening with your arousal.

“Fuck, you’re already so wet, baby. Can’t believe this perfect pussy is all mine forever too. God, you’re so fucking perfect. Everything about you. Mmmm, I know we don’t have a lot of time, but I have to taste you, Hermosa. Can I, baby?” Javi mewled, making you gasp as he gently slid two fingers into your aching core, curling them to bump against the spongy spot inside you that already had you fisting at the edge of the bathroom counter to try and keep your composure, and better yet, your voice down.

“Javi… Oh, shit. Fuck, Fu-ahhhhh.” You moaned, feeling the strong arch of Javi’s nose bumping against your clit, placing a soft kiss there before the flat of his tongue licked a long, broad stroke across your cunt, putting just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves as his fingers worked in tandem to send the sweet tingling sensation to start building in your spine.

While Javi would have loved to take every second of his sweet time to savor in watching you fall apart on his tongue, he knew just as well as you that he was working on a limited schedule, and wanted, no, needed to make sure he could get you off at least once before his luck ran out.

Javi began to work his tongue against your clit, circling and flicking in fast and firm motions as his fingers curled deeper into your heat, his free hand hooking around your thigh and draping it over his shoulder, digging his fingertips into the meat of your flesh, like he was trying to ground himself more than you.

You could already feel the coil in your stomach beginning to tighten from the way Javi was working so relentlessly to make you come undone, drinking every ounce of you up as, his lips now latching around your sensitive bundle of nerves, making your back arch and mind go blank while that all too familiar tingle began to creep through your core, cunt beginning to clench tighter and tighter around Javi’s fingers with every movement of his mouth against you.

“That’s it, mi amor.” Javi cooed, peeking his head out from under you just enough so that his sweet, brown eyes were locked with yours, the hot words of his breath dancing against your pussy as his fingers continued to rock in and out of you. “I’ve got you, Osita. Forever. I’ve always got you. Promento (I promise).”

Before you could respond, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt as each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happen

“Fuck, Javi. Oh shit- Baby, I’m so close, I’m so close, I’m so cl-ooohhhhh.” You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips.

Your heartbeat finally began to slow, your chest heaving in long, heavy breaths as you slumped into Javi, your head resting on his shoulder, shuttering at the loss of Javi’s fingers inside you. He carefully pulled them out, bringing them to his mouth and sucking them clean with a devilish smirk of satisfaction on his face.

“Tastes so fucking sweet. My wife tastes so fucking sweet. Fuck, I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.” Javi chuckled with a boyish grin, gently cupping his hand under your chin as the other wrapped around your waist.

“Get over what? Calling me your wife or eating me out?” You giggled, still trying to catch your breath as you came down from your high, biting down on your lip as your arms draped over Javi’s shoulders, your fingers tracing soft circles at the nape of his neck.

“Both. Fuck, I love you so much.”

“I love you so much too, you menace.” You smiled, tilting your head back to kiss Javi again, so blissfully lost in the moment, that the two of you both about jumped out of your skin when you heard a loud knock coming from the bedroom door.

“Jav? You in here, buddy?”

“Goddamnit, Murph…”

The familiar twang of Steve’s voice made you freeze in fear, Javi quickly helping you down off the counter as he cursed to himself before the two of you were trying your best to fix yourselves up in the mirror to try and hide any signs of the horny whirlwind that had blown through the bathroom.

“Javi?” Steve called out again, continuing to knock on the door.

“Yeah, I’m here, just uh- Just give me a second, Murph.” Javi sighed, the two of you trying to keep from laughing at your current predicament, wondering how the hell Javi was going to talk you both out of this one.

“What’s the plan, Peña?” You giggled, giving Javi a playful nudge as he carefully turned the knob to the bathroom door.

“To tell Murph to fuck off if he tries to give me shit.” The two of you quietly snorted, feeling a little less guilty than you would have if it wasn’t your wedding day. “You stay here, okay? I’ll take care of him.” He smiled, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek as he opened the door.

“God, I love you.”

“I love you too, Osita.”

Closing the bathroom door behind him, Javi took a few deep breaths as he ran his hands through his hair, turning the knob to open up his bedroom door to be greeted by an unamused Steve leaning in the door frame.

“What’s up, Murph? We were just, uh-” Javi asked, trying his best to stay casual.

“I fuckin’ knew it. Don’t ‘what’s up’ me, you horny bastard.” Steve groaned, rolling his eyes at his friend. “Y’all haven’t even made it to the ceremony yet! Jesus Fuckin’ Christ. Everyone’s been lookin’ for y’all. I had a fuckin’ feeling this is what you two were up two, and as your Best Man, I’ll cover for your ass now, but I sure as shit ain’t doin’ this all night for you two rabbits. Now c’mon, Casanova, go get your wife from in there and come outside. Remember that thing y’all gotta do where you actually go get married?” Steve teased, slapping Javi in the chest before shaking his head at his friend, his cheeks pink in embarrassment as his eyes darted to the floor.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll be out in a second.” Javi grumbled sheepishly, quietly accepting defeat.

“An actual second, ya hear? Not a horny Javier Peña second, or I swear to God.” Steve groaned, raising an eyebrow at Javi.

“Promise.”

“Alright then. Chop, chop, Mr. Peña. Let’s go get your ass married.” Steve laughed, grabbing Javi by the shoulder before giving him a little shake and disappearing back down the hallway.

Hearing Steve’s voice and footsteps fade, you slowly peeked your head out of the bathroom door to see Javi standing by himself, head buried in his hands, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning back to see your face, equally embarrassed as his.

“... He knew, didn’t he?” You grimaced, now fully opening the door and walking through to meet Javi on the other side.

“Yup.” Javi sighed, adding an extra emphasis to the “p” with a pop.

“Well… Either Steve has the world’s most unlucky timing, or he just needs to do a better job of minding his business.” The two of you snickered, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared up at Javi. “Or maybe someone needs to stop being such a bad influence.” You teased, poking Javi in the chest.

“Me? I’m the bad influence? Okay.” Javi chuckled, teasing you right back. “Sorry I’m getting married to the hottest woman alive and I can’t help myself. My gorgeous wife is one not making it any easier on me.”

“Still not technically your wife yet, you dork.”

“Close enough.”

Grabbing you by your waist, Javi pulled you flush against chest, tilting his head in for a long, tender kiss- the kind that made heat creep through your cheeks and butterflies churn in your stomach, the kind that made your heart beat a million miles a minute, the kind that seemed to make everything else in the world stand still, even if just for a moment. The kind of kiss that made you know without a single doubt that you had never been more in love than you were at this very moment.

“I love you, Javi.”

“I love you too, Osita.”

“You wanna go get married?”

“Mrs. Peña,” Javi grinned, grabbing your hand to interlock it with his, “There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more in my fucking life.”

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild @copperhalfcent @pedr0swh0r3 @chaotic-iguana

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hoodharlow · 3 months

Text

Superstar

AN: Miriam is now a three time Grammy award-winner <3

Requested? No

Warnings: Jack being unserious, rude people in the comments

Word Count: n/a

•••

@'mdm: 3rd time on SNL, 1st as a performer. Can't wait for y'all to hear the rest of the Last Dance soundtrack on March 9th 🥺 HUGE ty to THEE Emmy and Golden Globe award-winning Ayo for being the most talented human ever. It was privilege to be at your side. Also need your cover of No Air on spotify ASAP

@'medegutierrez: and just like that she beat the can't dance allegations 🦦

-> @'jackharlow: someone had to say and I'm glad it wasn't me

@'ayoedebiri: big slay

-> @'mdm: ilysmmmm

@'zendaya: okayyyy 😍

@'haileybieber: you're incredible 🥰

@'bellahadid: IT girl

@'miriamfan: she's THAT bitch

@'jackharlowstan: don't ask me the color of ANYTHING

@'kehlani: try these moves on 😍😍😍

View all comments

•••

Miriam via Instagram Stories

•••

@'claybornharlow: a song I worked on with my big sis and @lukehemmings won a Grammy today. It was a huge honor to be a part of this. Thank you to Miriam for believing in me as a producer and collaborator. Can't wait to see what the rest of the night has in store for you. Here's Miriam in the studio when we made this

@'jackharlow: now you made Miriam cry

@'mdm: akdghfjskskshdjsksks 🥺😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺 ilysm Clay. I wouldn’t have won if it weren't for you and Luke. Without you two, there wouldn't be What I Was Made For 💓💗💕

@'lukehemmings: proud of us

@'barbiemovie: this Ken is a Grammy winning producer

@'monetmitchell: my faves 💓 proud of you babyyy

Comments have been limited

•••

@'mackupdates: Miriam on her Instagram Stories. She's so funny I can't. And before y'all start, her movie is premiering at SXSW and she's been calling it her baby since she's announced it.

@'mdmxjh: y'all think this is how they announce their pregnancy?

-> @'miriamfan: you really think Jack and Miriam would announce they're having a kid? Plus if the baby was due in March she'd be huge as hell.

-> @'miriamstan: read the caption, I beg you

@'jackstan: of course this would be how she reacts to winning a Grammy lol

@'miriamhater: nepotism wins again 😒

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•••

@'mdm: no words :')

@'katdominguez: go baby sister

@'josephdominguez: 🥺

@'jackharlow: 3 holes for 3 Grammys 👉🏼👈🏼

-> @'mdm: how if you only have 2 holes and 0 Grammys 🤔

-> @'lilnasx: get him again for me

@'alinahunter: you deserved this 🥺

@'saintclauds: that's my bestirini 🥰🥰🥰

@'victoriamonet: proud of you

-> @'mdm: no, I'm proud of YOU 🥺🥺🥺

@'theestallion: EXACTLYYYY

@'claybornharlow: we did that 🤞🏻

-> @'lukehemmings: 🤞🏻

@'miriamhater: Ariana Grande deserved

-> @'miriamfan: she wasn't even nominated 😭

@'antimiriam: nepotism can only take you so far

-> @'mackaremyparents: I mean she's literally one award from winning an EGOT, directed & produced & created the soundtrack for her own movie, and is doing her masters. Your faves could never!

View all comments

•••

Jack via Instagram Stories

•••

@'jackharlow: my three time award-winning superstar

@'mdm: why would you post this! Of all pictures from today you post the one of me reading Clay's post

-> @'jackharlow: don't you have homework to finish?

-> @'mdm: I literally finished before the plane took off

-> @'8amclassmate: fuck now I gotta do the reading

@'lilnasx: MOTHER

@'rapfan: imagine your bitch winning before you. I'd dump that hoe because she can't embarrass me like that

@'jackfanbutmiriamhater: oh I hate this for him. He deserves someone how won't outshine him. Miriam is always doing way too much and it sucks that she wrote Jack's brother in her schemes 😒

@'jackharlow: y'all are mad annoying. It's not a fucking competition for me and Miriam. As her partner, I know the hard work she puts and she deserves this and more

View all comments

No more taglist :)

#jack harlow #jack and miriam #jack harlow instagram au #jack harlow insta au #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow oneshot

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spookyserenades · 20 days

Note

hi dana!! omg first time writing smth on this app bc I'm very bad with words but I just HADDDD to write you that I absolutely ADORED chapter 16, HAD ME JUMPING, KICKING MY FEET, BITING MY FIST!?!?!I truly cannot wait to read what you have in store for future chapters!! you got me SO enamoured with Trouvaille and the way you write is justtt CHEF'S KISS, extremely top tier, scratches my brain so perfectly istg 😭😭😭😭thank you for creating this beautiful fic, ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! <3

AHHH STOP I'M TEARING UP AND BLUSHING 😭😭😭😭 I'm honored to be the first person to hear from you 🥺💕

EEEE I'M SO HAPPY YOU LOVED IT!!!!! I've been in a slump these past few months writing and this is the first update in a while that had me super excited and I'm very proud of how it turned out 💕 I'm coasting on this newfound inspiration and I cannot WAIT to share more with you moving forward 😍 Thank you for being so kind and loving Trouvaille AND my writing it seriously means the world to me, you made my week! And thank you for reading I'm sending you a million hugs 🫂

#trouvaille #asks #dana's thoughts

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rosesloveletters · 4 months

Note

Hello!! 🥰 I’m about to go on a full on mushy gushy love letter to you about my love for your blog, your writing, Willy Wonka, and Gene Wilder so bear with me pls🥺

I’m also a fellow 2023 Willy Wonka + Gene Wilder lover and I gotta say, I am just so happy and thankful that I found your lovely and beautiful blog💕. The 1971 movie was always so precious to me, and the ending of it always brings me a warmth sense of comfort no other movie has given me (the scene when he talks to Charlie about how he will pass down the factory to him, how he always wanted a child to take on his factory bc they were so pure, especially Charlie🥺😭 the whole scene makes me cry, I love that movie so much)🩷

So a couple weeks ago after watching it, I started looking through tumblr, which is where I go to look for great fandom content, and lo and behold, I found your BEAUTIFUL Gene!WonkaxReader fics 🥰🩷💖 I fell in love, I am just so happy I found your blog!!

It makes me so happy to see other beautiful people celebrating their love for Wonka, especially Gene’s🥺💖 The way you write him so romantically makes me blush and swoon every time. He really is the man of my dreams☁️. Gene Wilder’s Wonka is my definitive Wonka, I’m so in love with him, so the fact that your fics are specifically for Gene’s Wonka makes it so perfect 😍 not only am totally in love with Willy, I have strong romantic feelings for Gene (heck I’ve been watching his other movies too, that’s how much I’ve been loving that beautiful man). It’s the way Gene speaks so gently and softly that it makes your heart beat a million times. It’s the way he has this charisma that shines bright and holds so much confidence, that it makes his so attractive🥰 it’s the way he is breathtaking is every way imaginable, inside and outside. it’s the way he looks so lovely with his bright baby blue eyes, his pretty curly hair, his strong capable hands, the way he is with kids (ie Charlie) his bright intelligence that brought happiness to the world in the way of tasty confections that everyone in the world enjoys 🥺🍫🍬🍭 GENE…. oh that man was such a romantic dreamboat in his life time… 😍🥰💓 he’s the perfect (and only) Wonka in my book 🩵🫶🏼

Overall, I’m having such a fun time this holiday season loving Willy Wonka and Gene Wilder, so it makes me feel so happy to see you and other people feel the same way🥺 I’m loving your fics so I’m excited to read any future works you have in store for the future! You’ve inspired me to makes some of my own things, including a Gene Wonka playlist I’ll share with you soon🥰 so thank you for everything🥺🍭💓

I love you, be safe, and I love your blog and your work!!!🫶🏼💕🩵🩷💕💜🍬🍭🍫

Hello, oh my goodness, what a sweet, heartfelt, loving and sentimental message🥰 This was such a delight to read, thank you for sending this to me and I'm honored to have such sweet words shared with me about this lovely gentleman.

I completely and wholeheartedly agree with everything you've said!

I also adore the scene where Wonka explains to Charlie that he wants him to run his factory someday, it is such a sweet, wholesome moment between these two. I always tear up a little during that scene; it's adorable to watch Wonka be so gentle towards Charlie. One of my favorite bits is when Wonka pretends not to know where the button is on his own machine (he invented it -- of course he knows where the button is!) so that Charlie could get involved and point it out to him.

Thank you so very much for your love on my fics and my blog🥺🩷 It means a whole lot to me that others are enjoying my writing, especially since I was uncertain how popular they would be since this seems to be a very small, niche fanbase. Tumblr really is a great place to search for all kinds of different fan-made content and is my go-to as well🥰

To know that this film is so beloved and so special to so many people warms my heart.

I was shocked to see so much love for Gene's interpretation of Willy Wonka, mainly because there are so many different versions of the character and therefore there's a lot of differing opinions out there, but it seems to be that Gene is the most recognizable out of all of them, at least from what I've seen.

Gene's Wonka is such a delight and he makes my heart beat a little faster every time I see him. It's so sweet to listen to you gush about him; your love for him is so beautiful🥺💖 Gene himself is very wonderful, I agree with you entirely! Ooh you've seen some of his other films!! Which ones have you seen? His filmography is quite interesting from what I've seen so far and I think he likes giving his audience a good laugh. His line delivery is the best!!

I am so happy to hear you mention his gentle voice🥺🥺 He always talks so softly and it makes the listener hang onto every word that comes out of his mouth. Every way in which you describe Gene is so gorgeous and accurate -- your love for him shines through with every word you've written and I love hearing you speak about all the reasons why you love him. I think he would be honored to know he has fans as kind and as sweet and as loving as you who are keeping his memory alive in such a positive way.

His charisma and charm and confidence are very attractive, as well as his physical attributes: the blue eyes which look like shining galaxies, his frizzy hair, his capable, dexterous hands, his big nose. Ugh. He's like a dream.

I am certain that he was a very lovely human and that it must've been a delight to be in his presence.

I totally agree with you: he is the only Wonka I'll ever need. 💜💕

I am so happy to hear that you're having a lovely holiday season loving on Willy Wonka and Gene Wilder. I think that is a wonderful way to spend the end of the year and I hope that you continue to enjoy it. It is definitely such a wonderful feeling to know that others feel the same way and that yours and others love for him runs this deep.

Thank you so very much for sharing all of this love with me, it's been so amazing to get to chat with another person who also loves Gene and his portrayal of Willy Wonka🥺🍫💜🍭 It is such an honor to hear that I have inspired you to make some of your own things too! That is so exciting and yes, please definitely share with me the playlist and/or anything else that you make for Gene/Wonka, if you feel comfortable. I would ADORE seeing anything that you make🥰🫶🏼💓

I will definitely be posting more Wonka (and some other of Gene's roles👀) fics in the future and I hope that you enjoy them 🫶🏼💕 Thank you for all of your kindness and for sending so much love to me. Your love for Willy Wonka and Gene Wilder is so beautiful to witness.

I love you too, take care of yourself and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season (if you celebrate.) Give yourself lots of kindness and indulge in the things that bring you joy and happiness. I hope the New Year brings you many good things💜🍭🫶🏼🥰🩷💕

and those are such gorgeous pictures omggg look at him🥺🩷💕

#mail :: 📬#love letters :: 💌#willy wonka #willy wonka and the chocolate factory #gene wilder

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solarisgod · 3 months

Note

Hi, Micah, my favourite constellation. 👋🥰💕💞 I was wondering 🥺👉👈 if you'd like to be my Valentine's? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I know that, uh, you broke up with your boyfriend few weeks ago 😥 and, um, you 😬 just, uh, recently... DIED, 😰 so, I can understand if this month of 💝 love 💝 is rough for you and you need that space from... Love™️, but, I just want you to know that 👉👈👉👈👉👈 I care and appreciate about you a lot. 💗 I, urm, L-word you, too, I guess. 💘 If you ever wanna, I'd really like to spend a nice day with you on this month of love. 👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈 AGAIN, only if you want to... Love is strange and complicated, like me 😞, so, I get it! 😣 But, I promise, 👆 our day won't have any blood and murders involved, but I can't promise it'll be... explosive!!! 😎💥... 😏💦... :)

Micah stares at Strange who was on a rant at xyr guest room . Certainly , is it a pleasant surprise to see the Antigod at the doorway , gifting xem a heart shaped box of chocolate ( that Strange happened to . . . eat some pieces ) ⅋ bouquet ( Micah wonders why the flowers are quivering , like it's afraid of Strange ) . Micah can't remember the last time xe would be asked to be someone's Valentine's . Across xyr life , as a hopeless romantic with a grand heart of stars , xe would always be the one to ask someone out . With Adoniram , Micah was the one to seek a romantic relationship with him after their high school graduation . Xyr gaze flickers from the gifts over to Strange who seems to be trying its best to hold confidence . Micah's lips twitch into a bashful smile , giggling at its . . . highly expressive effort .

〚 How the fuck can xe say all of that ? 〛Philos questions Strange's ability to speak with the emojis ⅋ all . Strange things . Micah chuckles at her bewildered bluntness , rubbing xyr neck before xe gives xyr complete attention to Strange again . ❝ Strange , ❞ xe softly starts , holding its hand after xe placed the gifts on the table , ❝ I extremely appreciate this , truly , you're so lovely , ❞ Micah squeezes its hands . ❝ But , ah , I'm actually planning to ask Warlock if it's interested to spend the Valentine's Day with me . ❞ Strange should be aware of xyr status with Warlock , but maybe xe doesn't want to point out the most obvious fact . ❝ I mean , February is the month of love , so I would really love to spend any other days with you , at least . ❞

Micah is endeared by all of this from xem . Xe's fun , considerate when xe can be , ⅋ the strangest . It'd be an honor to get to spend a February day with the first Antigod , one of xyr closest friends . ❝ Love ya too , Strange . ❞

#DETSTRANE #///#//#/#[ KGSDGHSBKDJLNKG;SDNGLJSDKDG DAIMON?!/1/?!?! ]#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ STRANGE . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ DETSTRANGE . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ IC . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ ANSWERS . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ V : MAIN / ACT I.VI. . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ MICAH . ›#[ NAHHHH 'CAUSE AS SILLY THE ASK IS ; THIS IS ACTUALLY SO CUTE BJKDGBKSD I LOVE THEM SMMM ]#[ a ship I didn't think I'd be so in for tbh <<<333333 ]

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onlyswan · 3 months

Note

Hi Art 💕💕

First of all, I wanted to say that I was listening to Hozier yesterday and I thought of you and the iw couple! And actually listening to Hozier always makes me think of you, Art!! I think your writing and his lyrics give me the same feelings honestly, something about both of them hits me so deep in my soul and yet it also makes me wish I saw the world though your eyes because you make it seem so much more beautiful and full of love. I don't know if that makes any sense at all but I was thinking about it, so I wanted to share!

Also about your question of which parts have made us cry the most, I think I'm pretty similar to everyone else and the parts that had me constantly crying while reading were the ones where the characters are sad too and are feeling hurt.

In "in which you don’t want to give up on jungkook (even when he gave you reasons to, even if they give you reasons to)." I was absolutely right there with them, feeling all of those emotions and crying my eyes out and then I cried even more when Jungkook was comforting OC, all of it was so beautiful and emotional. And of course I will never not mention this line: "four months have passed, but it isn’t time’s job to heal all wounds. it’s his." Because I think it perfectly shows how they take responsibility for the way they make each other feel (both bad and good) and how considerate and emotionally intelligent they are 😭😭😭

OC feeling sad will always get me the most I think, because we know how much pain they've already gone through and I just want them to never ever feel hurt again 🥹🥹🥹 So things like this from "in which jungkook is giving up on you but you have so much love left to give." really get to me: “i tried living without you like you wanted- but i can’t-” you hiccup in between small sobs on the other line. “i love you, jungkook. i can’t live carrying around all this love with me. it’s too heavy…” Thankfully Jungkook is always there to make them feel better the way they deserve 🥺🥺

Your beautiful writing makes everything a thousand times more heartbreaking and lines like these: "you let jungkook come too close. he slept on your bed and he learned that you’re always cold. he enveloped you in the safety of his warm embrace and you couldn’t will yourself to leave after the first time. you’ve surrendered to him the control over your body, and also your heart, which you may be breaking alongside your rule but… walking away would mean forsaking yourself." from "in which jungkook misses you before he even leaves" feel like they're speaking to the rawest, deepest parts of my soul.

Another thing that made me cry from that drabble was this part: "he tenderly strokes your hair, eyes filled with galaxies memorizing every inch of your face. he’s scared, too. he’s scared that he’s overestimating himself. too ambitious, too greedy for wanting both the world and the most beautiful person he has ever seen in it to love him. he’s scared of getting too exhausted. he’s scared that you won’t be there anymore when he opens his eyes." Their fears are so warranted, they could really end up being hurt or hurting each other, and yet that makes them even braver for still trying to make it work, for still loving each other despite all of that.

In general every time I think or read about them putting the other first, the care with which they consider each other, OC getting so worried about Kook being hurt, or him thinking about just how beautiful of a person OC really is, anything can have me sobbing on the spot. I think I've said it before but even just your titles are enough to make me cry sometimes. Your words just have such an effect on me, and I've also really grown to love these two and the love they have for each other so so much.

Sorry for rambling a little, I feel like I've said all of that a hundred times before but the love I have for you and your stories is too much for me to keep inside. Hope you're doing well, Art 💞💞💞

oh my god i’m so honored. thank you so much for thinking of me alongside such an incredible artist my sweetest ivi 😭💕💕💕

I think your writing and his lyrics give me the same feelings honestly, something about both of them hits me so deep in my soul and yet it also makes me wish I saw the world though your eyes because you make it seem so much more beautiful and full of love

and honestly you’re one of the people who makes me view the world as beautiful as i do 🥺🫂

And of course I will never not mention this line: "four months have passed, but it isn’t time’s job to heal all wounds. it’s his." Because I think it perfectly shows how they take responsibility for the way they make each other feel (both bad and good) and how considerate and emotionally intelligent they are 😭😭😭

YOU GET MEEEE this line is definitely the most memorable one in that work for me as well 😭😭😭 (the both good and bad got me. i’m sobbing) often times it feels like the easiest route is to allow enough time to pass to bury our mistakes, but the guilt stays ❤️‍🩹 and i wanted to show that taking accountability is what allows both parties to heal 🥺

OC feeling sad will always get me the most I think, because we know how much pain they've already gone through and I just want them to never ever feel hurt again 🥹🥹🥹

honestly same >:( writing about oc’s pains got me crying the hardest than i ever have while writing and i’ve written a loooot of sad stuff 😭 oc is the type of person i want to build a personal utopia for 🥺

Their fears are so warranted, they could really end up being hurt or hurting each other, and yet that makes them even braver for still trying to make it work, for still loving each other despite all of that.

i feel like a proud parent tearing up rn my babies you’ve fought so hard to keep loving each other </3 you said this so so so beautifully. thank you 🥺🥺🥺

I think I've said it before but even just your titles are enough to make me cry sometimes.

i remember this toooooo 🥹 coming up with the titles is like one of the most fun parts about the iw series i’m so geeked when they’re acknowledgedhfkdhfjdjhg i freaking love you !!! and your ramblings !!! thank you for matching my energy 🥹🥹🥹 bc when you ramble i also get to ramble about them without feeling silly as the writer hEhehehe the nasty ass flu got me knocked down rn so i’m veryyy sorry if this messy and incoherent T_T but seeing you in my inbox is so healing and made me feel all warm inside 🥰 please be healthy and happy my baby love

#art’s post office ☁️#ivi <3 #to make art smile :d

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frecklystars · 2 months

Note

hi keri!!

I have some really good news! I saw you and ken on a date (in my dream but eh, close enough sjshs)

it was a live theater date (they're doing mamma mia in my city shsh) and from where I was sitting I could see you and ken holding hands!! (don't ask how I knew it was you guys, I just did)

you seemed stressed or nervous about somthing but ken just gave your hand a little squeeze and caress like "keri, my sweet girl" then he gave your knuckles a kiss "apple of my eye" another smooch "owner of my heart" final smooch "everything is going to be fine"

I was watching this like 👀😮💘

side note: I hope this silly little dream I had can you bring you even a fraction of joy that it brought me. I know things are tough for you right now but I'm hoping things get better! I'm so annoyed that people have been copying "my sweet girl"!!

I will admit, ever since I sent the ask about how much I adore the nickname, I have been inspired to step up my game while selfshipping😌 which basically means I come up with sickly sweet nicknames bc "it's what keri and ken would've done🙇🏽‍♀️"

so yeah, sorry for the wall of text, I hope the rest of your day/night goes well!! positivity blast!!! 💖💗💘💓💝💕🌸🌺🌷🐶

-🍀

LUCKY CLOVER ANON SWEETHEART I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU YESTERDAY!!!!! :D I hope you're doing well!!! NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR WALLS OF TEXT I shall always welcome every single beautiful beloved word you bring into my inbox <33!!!!!!!

YOU HAD A DREAM??? ABOUT KEN WITH ME???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 WUWHUHWUWHWUHWHUUHW WOWWWWWW WOW WOW!!!!!!!! I am so!!!! honored!!!!! 😭😭💝💝💗💘💓💞💞💞 Thank you so much for telling me!!!!!!!!! What a treat!!!! What a dream!!!!!

That makes me feel SO much better ;-; thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to send me an ask!!! OOGHOGH AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SYMPATHIES OMG it has been eating me uppp how far away I've felt from Ken lately, feeling very unlovable and replaceable and the "sweet girl" ordeal was like the cherry on top. ofc it's not like I invented the pet name "sweet girl" or anything like that, and of COURSE it's fine if other self shippers want Ken to call them that, BUT I JUST DON'T WANNA BE TOLD ABOUT IT ESP ON MY OWN POSTS AND IN MY OWN INBOX?? SLFJSDFL??? especially when they're like "i took that from your comic btw :)" like WOHOAOOH!!!! WHOAH??? [spongebob voice] BACK IT UP. BACK IT UP. BACK IT UP 🚚 !!!!! I understand these ppl are saying it nicely and I am flattered they loved my comic/pet name idea THAT much but it... stings so bad omfg it HURTS, BRO........... the pet name is so personal to me/my story with Ken and it feels weird for me to now write/draw him saying it to me and no longer thinking he's talking To Me anymore :( BUT!!! i hope i can fix that by spending more time with him (watching Barbie, watching interviews, making gifsets, making art/fics) plus when I go out of town in a couple of weeks I'll stay completely offline for 10 days straight bc I won't be able to watch him sing I'm Just Ken at the Oscars (no cable where I'm going WAH) and I don't want spoilers. and. tbh maybe spending time offline from this hellsite will help Fix Me 🔨✨

I am so. WOWOWO i've read this 5 times in a row AND THE FACT THAT YOURE SUBCONSCIOUS CONJURED HIM BEING SO SWEET??? TO ME??? OF ALL PEOPLE??? Kissing my hand wtf that's one of my favorite Kisses... I think being kissed on the hand is one of the most loving and tender sweet things in the world... hand kisses + neck kisses are my absolute favorite and wowoowowoowwwhuhwuwhuhwhu LAYING ON THE FLOOR IN A POOL OF MY OWN TEARS THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!! and the fact that we'd go to a live theater date!!!! BRO!!!! BRO THAT'S SO ROMANTIC I LOOOOVE LIVE THEATER 🥺🥺🥺💙💙💙💙

LUCKY ANON!!!! I AM SOOOOOOOOO!!!! SO SO SO HAPPY YOU'RE STEPPING UP UR GAME SELF SHIPPING!!! "because it's what Keri and Ken would've done" made me SQUEAL swinging my legs in my chair and drumming my desk!!!! I was all excited and needed to let my energy out SLDKFJSLKDFHSDF THIS IS SOOO SWEET!!!!!! Coming up with special nicknames make self ships feel so... idk the word, it makes it feel so much more wholehearted and tender and soft!!! like it's a special connection JUST for the two of YOU!!!! Any time I have a main F/O I try to make them call me something that isn't just the generic "baby/darling/sweetheart" (though I DO use those pet names QUITE often on many, if not all, of my ships) but there is just something about having them call you something pertaining to the ship itself, your story with them, something you know they wouldn't call anybody else But You!!! whether it's them calling you your favorite flower, or something they find synonymous with you like a dessert or a star, or even your own name but rhymed with something else, something silly, or something inspired by a lyric of Your Song that the two of you share, it's just!! it's SO SPECIAL I absolutely adore doing it, it makes the ship feel quite exceptional imo!!

I AM GIVING YOU THE BIGGEST HUGS IN THE WORLD AND ALSO DONUTS!!!!!!! 🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩💕💕💓💓💗💖💗💗💓💓💞💕💟💟💝💘💞💞💓💓💞💕💕💕💕💕 I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUU THANK YOU FOR YOUR SWEETNESS!!!!!!!!! I hope you have the BEST DAY EVER 🥰🥰🥰🥰☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️!!!!!!!!!!

#anonymous #asks #keepsake #🍀 anon #💌💐#💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-#weepy over Ken telling me that everything will be OK while kissing my knuckles #HE IS MY PRINCE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#thank you so much for telling me this im SO SOFT #i will carry these words with me to work today #i will be tiredly checking in huge trucks and unloading heavy boxes while thinking of ur ken carson dream..................

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fawnandshadows · 5 months

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I'm on my little mission to give some love and gratitude to my favorite fic writers because you're all amazing. You are authors who don't get paid for your great works. You are the reason I am still in this fandom. 💕💗🤍

I wanted to start with you first because you are my OG. You were the first Elriel Blog i folllowed on tumblr and through you I found many other wonderful writers. I just love you fics. You are my safe place when i need a cosy Elriel fic. I love your writing. You have an incredible talent for conveying feelings. Be it spicy, cozy, happy or angsty. Also thanks again for doing my request. I felt honored that my moodboard could be part of Elain's, Azriel's and Sofia's story. 🥺✨️

Hello !!

This is by far one of the sweetest messages I have ever received !! Thank you so, so much for your kind words 🥺🫶🏻.

It’s such a lovely thing to spread love and gratitude and as a fandom it’s something we definitely need !!

Omg I’m so honored that you started with me 😭. I was new in the fandom once upon a time and it can be so scary to start interacting and to put yourself out there !! Omg it’s so crazy to think I could be someone’s first elriel blog 🙈.

Thank you so much for the kind words!! They mean the world to me 🥺🩷🫂

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kdj-225 · 2 years

Note

Hii! I love all of your threadfics and how you write the orv characters, i feel very happy when you update or publish something new. I wanted to ask if maybe you could write something between lsk and kdj that takes place when he is a child, in the years before all the tragedy occured that features omurice and how kdj came to find comfort in the dish

[!!!! 🥺😭 wahh i'm so happy and honored to know that you like my works!! thank you so much!!! 💖💕💕 it means a lot to me that you like the characterization in particular, since that's something I like to put a lot of thought into!! thank you so much for the prompt too—i enjoyed writing for it since it's something different from my usual! i hope you enjoy it!! (even if there's some emotional pain in there given KDJ's canon past) 😭💔]

cw: implied off-screen abuse (as based on canon novel events)

-----

※DO NOT REPOST / HOST MY WORK ON OTHER APPS OR SITES

When Kim Dokja wakes up to silence in the morning, he finds himself feeling cautious.

Silence could mean two things, depending on who’s at home. Silence because his father is hungover, only a trigger away from lashing out, or silence because it’s only him and his mother at home.

Creeping out of his bedroom to the kitchen, he finds that it’s the latter. It’s only his mother at home today, her back looking wide and reliable as he peeks up at her from behind the counter. Tall, expression solemn…

He wonders if they could ever have a life where she can smile freely.

Maybe in another life, he could be braver for her. He could be like those protagonists who could talk back against their parents, even at the cost of being disrespectful. He could tell his father that he’s terrible, that he should stop being the way he is…maybe there could be a life like that. In an alternate universe, or maybe if he were able to turn back time…there are stories like that, aren’t there? Stories of alternate universes, reincarnation, transmigration. Stories that give people second chances.

“Dokja-yah?”

He blinks when he hears the call of his name. “Eomma,” he greets back. He smiles when he sees her smile, the expression far too easy to mirror coming from the parent he loves more. “What’re you making?”

She hums. “Your favorite, of course.”

He brightens up at those words, excitement bubbling to the surface. It isn’t often that his mother cooks his favorite food, regardless of how much he asks. “Omurice?”

“Yes. Could Dokja prepare the plates, please?”

“Yes!”

Obediently, he sets out the plates and utensils on their dining table. The sound of his mother’s humming ensures that the smile on his face doesn’t fade—right here, in this moment, she’s happy enough to sing under her breath. It makes the past days with his father feel like a dream, a nightmare meant to fade to the back of their minds as if it were nothing.

Wouldn’t it be nice, if his father were a good person? A better person, someone who could actually suit the name “father”?

“Dokja-yah, where are you?”

He looks up at the sound of his mother’s voice, and steps back when he finds her peering down at him with a concerned gaze. “Uh,” he stutters, “where..?”

She raises a brow at him, and he feels ashamed. He can’t tell her that he was thinking about how nice it would be if he could replace his own father—as if he even had any power to do such a thing.

“To which story did your mind go to today, Dokja-yah?”

“...the one about traveling to another universe. With the robots,” he lies.

“Our Dokja is traveling far today,” she teases, putting out his portion of omurice on the dining table. “You’re not feeling sad that you finished it anymore?”

He shakes his head. “I read it again, like you told me to.”

“What was different, this time?”

“Well…”

Like always, he talks to her about the story they’ve already read over once. Like always, she listens to him—even when she already knows the story on her own, even when she’d already read it with him, and even when it’s nothing new for her.

(“Because Dokja’s reading of it makes it new, for me,” she’d said once, even if he doesn’t understand what that means until now.)

“...Dokja-yah?”

He finishes chewing on his spoonful of food before he speaks. “Yes, eomma?”

She smiles at him fondly, warmly. He thinks of the mothers in fiction, the way they’re almost always the ones that the protagonist loses first, and finds fire flickering to life in his chest. Even if he’s not strong enough, even if he’s still so young, he’d definitely be the kind of kid who’d protect that smile.

She asks him, “Why did you end up liking omurice the most?”

“Because eomma’s omurice is delicious.”

She blinks at him. He blinks back, confused at the odd reaction.

“Does this mean eomma’s other food isn’t as delicious?”

“It’s all delicious.”

She breathes out; the short exhale sounds like a laugh. “Is that so?”

He smiles, happy at having been able to make her laugh even if he doesn’t understand what’s so funny about what he said. “Yes.”

“Then, why is omurice the best?”

He pauses then. Why does he like omurice the most?

“Because…”

She waits for him. The only person he’s always believed in, even when the other kids in school don’t like him, or ignore him. The one person who’s always, always there for him.

“...when eomma makes omurice, that usually means you’re in a good mood,” he says honestly, looking up into her clear, calm eyes. Because you take your time when you’re cooking it, and when you do that, it means you’re relaxed enough for it. You’re happy.

You being happy makes the food even more delicious, for me.

Her lips tremble for a flash of a second, making him rub at his eyes in surprise. When he looks up at her again, her lips are pulled back into a calm smile that he wonders if he’s just seeing things.

“Dokja-yah.”

He makes a confused noise at the strange tone in her voice. “Eomma?”

She smiles. The look on her face feels sad for some reason, though he must be mistaken. How can a smile feel sad?

She tells him, hand reaching out to pat him on the head,

“You really are a good kid.”

He smiles, even if he doesn’t understand the reason for her suddenly praising him. Her hand feels warm on his head, gentle, and he nuzzles into the touch like the good kid she’d just praised him as being—mindlessly, without complaint, accepting her warmth without question.

He smiles, and doesn’t say,

Is being a good kid enough, when I could be stronger, or braver for you?

#kim dokja pov #lee sookyung #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #fanfic #my writing #request #kim dokja

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bittykimmy13 · 1 year

Note

So I was re-reading Teddy Bear again for pfft like the millionth time- and I just took a moment to appreciate how every single line written couldn't have been written better, and how there's a certain, indescribable feeling that goes along with them.

like for example: "Grayson peered at Xander’s face, expecting to find a scowl or a wicked smile in the flickering light of the screen." or, at the end: "Though he was no longer frantic, his face still burned hot as he used every ounce of his worthless willpower to pretend he completely hated his predicament."

It doesn't matter if it takes you one try or a thousand tries to write those. They're all just. art. and there's so much emotion in them. In the more intense stories from Shot in the Dark, or in Silver Ash, it's even more evident.

Being a young writer- and by young I mean the only thing I've written in the last month is a tenth grade expository essay- having an experienced author to look up to, being introduced to new language, especially when it's involved in a topic I hold close to my heart, like g/t, is just SO important. Sometimes I forget that I can really enjoy something while learning from it a ton, too.

I feel like that's what stands out to me about you and Mary's writing, and it had to be said, so once again: mwah, you both inspire me so much, and thank you!!

HELLO HI I'm currently writing this from a puddle of my own tears 🥺🌸💕💕💕 LIKE, the way you pulled specific lines from Teddy Bear is making me sob with happiness skldjflksjd

How the heck do I even begin to express how much this means to me?? It blows my silly little mind that our characters/stories could have such a beautiful effect on anyone😭💕 Every thought and story about our characters brings me unquantifiable joy, and the idea that any amount of that could touch other people just??? WOW :') 💕🥰

We're so very honored that our work inspires you!! Thank you so much for your kind words and for dropping this in my inbox! A million hugs for you ✨✨✨

#kimspeak #merry chrysler #sobs i was tempted to keep this in my inbox to look at until the end of time

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sebsxphia · 11 months

Note

Seb, I know I have said it a million times, but I'm going to say it a million more whether it's here or in private messages. Thank you for your posts. And I don't just mean your writing (although it always makes my day. Especially on my bad ones, curling up with my sloth stuffie and reading through for comfort) but for you. You take the time to say hello, to check in, to let everyone ramble, and let people talk. You let everyone be who they want, and you provide a safe place. I come to Tumblr to get away from everything, whether it's my personal life, politics, drama... I know your page is immediately the place I can go to so I can shut my brain off. On this app, this blog, I can just let myself enjoy any silly posts or jokes, see the soft thoughts or the thots.

I don't know if you know how much it means to me to just have you here. And I hope soon I'll be back to writing once my mental health is better (I am working with my therapist!) And I can maybe bring you some of that joy too. I try to make my page drama free and politically free, so people have the opportunity to be relaxed also. The only "drama" (although i dont see it as drama personally) I know I step in is defending other writers. Cause seb, you and so many others, if you get even a little hate, just send them my way. I'll go right up to bat for ya ❤️

Sorry, got a little off topic (apparently when showing my love for people that happens. Who knew?)

But still, even if you chose to stop writing and just wanted to be a chat blog, I would be here. You became such a great friend, honestly.

Thank you ❤️

gabbie 🥺🥺🥺

i’m sorry i took a while to reply to this. i had it in my inbox and i just kept re-reading it and tearing up and feeling all mushy 🥺

i’m at a complete loss for words and overwhelmed (in the best way!) with this sweet and thoughtful message. i hope you know this has truly made my entire week and i really needed to read this rn. goodness, i’m just so honored and happy to hear that my lil blog can provide that comfort and safe place for you. it’s music to my ears. 💗

i know i’ve said it before, but i’ve always wanted this lil blog to be a safe place and let people come ramble, talk or vent, and it makes my heart swell that it’s perceived like that.

i’m also so pleased to hear that you’re working with your therapist! i hope you’re taking it slow and taking care of yourself, because you deserve it my lovely angel! you are so sweet, kind and wonderful and i’m just so thrilled to call you my friend, and an incredibly wonderful friend at that! 🥹💗

do not apologise one bit, my love. spreading love and joy is a okay here! thank you so much for this message and thank you for just being the lovely and kind soul that you are, inside and out. i’m sending you so much love my angel, mwah mwah mwah! 💗💕💓🫶🏼

#💌you’ve got mail #daughterofthereaper02 <33 #💐 these are for you! <33 #i love you so so so much <3333 #words cannot describe!! <33333

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theharrowing · 10 months

Note

hey, dear harrow! how are you? i recently came across your blog and omg i've fallen in true and deep love with collateral!!! i couldn't stop reading and i finished all the available chapters in just a few days cause i enjoyed every word. actually i don't know where to start, cause i wanna say so many things, but imma try. so, i love your writing style, i love how you describe every little detail, i love how you paint such vivid pictures in my head with your expressive words. the way you write is amazing and aaah your characters!! i love all of them one by one!! the mc, ah, i love her, when she first saw yoongi and his gang approaching her and she just casually said "fellas, how can i help you?" i was kicking my feet, rolling on the couch. aaaahh, she's so coool!!! as i read more her past became more clear and our dove went through a lot, went through so much it's heartbreaking:( i just wanna hold her and never let her go:( same goes to yoongi and actually to everyone. what i love the most is the message what your story tells. the characters are all humans despite their flaws. it doesn't matter if they're rich and powerful, a drug addict or someone who just killed 15 guys in one night lmao, they all have their own experiences and struggles. your characters are not perfect and their dark journeys are certainly challenging, despite of that, they're certainly humans who need love and happiness, just like everyone else in this world. despite its dark themes, the story you have created is absolutely a tale of hope, love, and strength. thank you for writing such a deep and impactful story, it touches on topics like this.<3 you did an excellent job, i'm truly in love with the whole story, i can't wait to read what happens next!!<33

HELLO, VANI!!! 😍

wow, thank you so much!!! i’m so honored that you binged Collateral and thrilled that you love it so much!!! 🥰🥰🥰 i love those characters tons, and it means a lot that you do, as well!!! even when they kill 15 men in one night hehehe jungkookie, that scamp. 🤪💜

i am also honored that you like my writing style, those comments mean the absolute world to me. thank you, thank you!!!

if you're into character asks, there's a bunnnch for the Collateral cast! and you're always welcome to send them in too, if you would like!!! (no pressure hehe.)

💜🌙💖💐💝💕✨😍💘🥺🎉💛🍦⚡🤸‍♀️🧁🌠⭐🍧💙🌷🌟🥰

thank you again!!!!! i appreciate you so much!!! this message has made my day!!! 🥰🥰🥰

#hoseokshobagi #i love my readers #reader reviews #fic: collateral #you've got mail 💌

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swfteverlqrk · 2 years

Text

Long Distance Relationship

Part 2

Peter Parker x fem reader

Peter Parker (twin) x Shuri

QUICK NOTE: I DO NOT SUPPORT OR STAN LETITIA WRIGHT NOR HER ANTI C0VID AND VAX COMMENTS IN ANY WAY!

Hope you enjoy this, is short but so cute! Leave more requests, I'm happy to do them.

Part 1 here

bettybrant_1

Prom shopping with my girlies 💕

@yn_yln & @MJ_

↳nedleeds: Oooh! Can't wait to see the dress

↳yn_yln: I love going shopping w you <3

Yn_yln

I had a marvelous time ruining everything 🖤

↳PeterParker: Wooow, simply woow! You look gorgeous 😍

↳MJ_: SO PRETTY!

bettybrant_1: love youuu!

Prom Day.

PeterParker

The love of my life 💙

@yn_yln

↳yn_yln: Peter, I love you soooo much

↳MJ_: for once you are actually cute

↳P_Parker: My parents!

yn_yln

Just me being the happiest girl EVER with him 💙

↳PeterParker: Blue is definitely your color!

↳PeterParker: I love you !

↳MJ_: SLAYYYY!

↳Shuri: You guys are adorable!

HarryOsborn

Her 🖤

↳MJ_: You looked stunning Osborn.

↳yn_yln: cutieeees!

↳PeterParker: Photography creds!

@MJ_

The best looking ever :)

You mean the world to me 🖤

↳@yn_yln: OMG! QUEEN AND KING?

↳@yn_yln: adopt meee :(

↳@HarryOsborn: Love you, Jones

↳@PeterParker: Looking good guys.

-Hey bro- Peter knocked on Phillip door who was reading.

-Come in Pete- He did and sat in front of him.

-Look, I know probably prom is the last thing you want to hear about and I get it, but, if you change your mind, there's a gift on your closet and we'll be waiting for you. I love you brother.

Phillip smiled at Peter words and when he left the room he ran to his closet and found his dad suit...he smile only grew, after some seconds he got ready.

Peter and Yn were taking pictures and ready to leave.

-Hey guys! Do you have place on the limo?- Yn squealed and ran to hug him.

-Of course Phillip! You look amazing, come on.

They walked to the limo, where there was Harry and MJ, they were wearing black and the other couple blue, the drive to the prom was really fun, they all blasted to some tunes and of course because yn was there, Taylor Swift and they arrived to the school.

The food was great, everyone was having a great time, they even convinced Phillip to dance with them in group at least, an hour passed away, and the slow songs were gonna start, so sadly Phillip sat down watching his friends.

-Excuse me... Can I have the honor of dancing with you- a voice said behind him, and when he turned around, his eyes shined and he couldn't believe it.

-Shuri! Oh my god it's you!- He hugged her until she was about to faint. - I can't believe it! How? When?

She laughed and explained that Peter, yn and her had planned for two months now, and she had arrived an hour ago, he was so happy to see her, immediately he took her hand and took her to dance, he smiled to Peter and Yn.

P_Parker

I'm just soooo happy. ❤️

↳Yn_yln: Look how his eyes shine! I'm crying

↳Shuri: I love you Phillip

↳PeterParker: You deserve to be happy bro

↳MayParker: 🥺 so beautiful!

Shuri

In love with him.

(he was arguing with Peter before the pic, lol)

↳PeterParker: In my defense, I just wanted to fix his hair

↳P_Parker: 🧡 you look woow as always

↳yn_yln: Currently dying of cuteness.

The end!

#marvel #avengers x y/n #marvel x you #fanfic #tom holland x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x fem #peter parker x y/n #peter parker #peter parker smau

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lunargrapejuice · 1 year

Note

Hello,

So I just wanted to write that you were the first blog on tumblr that I ever read genshin fanfic aaaand I am kinda addicted to it right now. I blaming you for this! On a serious note tho, your work is amazing. And I would really like to let you know that your work is being appreciated (at least by me). As a fellow writer I know that those kind of words mean a lot. Sorry for my bad English, I'm not a native speaker (+ I have no respect for this language soo idc) Have a great day or night —🌸

hello love 💖 i am seriously tearing up right now - thank you so so much for taking the time to send this & for being so sweet🥺💕 these kind of messages & words really do mean so damn much & make my heart feel incredibly full 🥺😭💕💕 i am so honored to have been your first genshin fanfic blog 😭 I WILL TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY HEHEH💖💖

#i hope you’re having a great day!💖#AND PLEASE I AM DYING AT THE NO RESPECT COMMENT😂💀💖#I love it & we all should have that attitude forwards it hah #ahhh thank you again lovely💖💖💖#🌙asks

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septembersghost · 2 years

Note

Hi! I just wanted to say that as someone who also struggles with depression /anxiety disorder, suicidal ideation, self-esteem issues and CFS (plus ADHD on top of that lol) I understand how hard and frustrating it can be to go through everyday life, and painful to the point where fiction (TV shows, music, books) becomes the only source of solace and comfort. No matter what anyone might say, our attachment or love for them isn't somehow less because they are imaginary. You're valid, ad your feelings are absolutely valid too. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with insomnia and isolation as well, and I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I wish him to recover soon, and also hope that you and your family will be okay. You're a very brave, a very strong, kind and sweet person, you also have a brilliant, insightful mind and I'm honored to know you (even if it's just in a virtual Tumblr space). Your blog has become my source of comfort too, in time of especially trying and anxiety-filled days. I'm wishing you all the best and sending you lots of hugs and lots of love ❤️ May September bring you joy and peace. Be safe.

sweetheart 🥺😭💕 this is incredibly kind - i teared up reading it, and my mom asked me if everything was okay, so i let her read it and she cried too! good tears though ;___;

thank you very much for your thoughtfulness, and for sharing your own struggles and understanding with me so openly. it's hard to fully explain sometimes what it's like living with certain conditions to people who haven't experienced them, but knowing others get it and that we're not alone is a source of solace, even though i wish you didn't have to go through that and that it could be alleviated for you. 💙 and of course the physical difficulties impact the mental ones, then vice versa, it's such an interconnected cycle. it's especially difficult to grapple with those things when they're "invisible" - no one can see you're hurting or ill, but that doesn't mean it isn't real and often exhausting.

what you told me is the same i would say to you - you are completely valid and worthwhile and deserving, and your thoughts and feelings matter, and your love for fiction and art is absolutely real and consoling. the tag i use, "the consolation of imaginary things," is only half a quote. the full quote is: the consolation of imaginary things is not imaginary consolation. those comforts are SO important, not only because they give us escape and something to love, but because they make us think, they exercise our empathy, and even when we might be isolated in other ways, they provide us connection to one another. the grace of having a link to someone like you is entirely because of a story that we love! that's amazing, i truly believe there's a magic in that. it's so wondrous that we can meet and know one another - even if the space is virtual, it's real too! we're expressing ourselves and writing instant letters to one another. i consider that a constant blessing in my life.

i'm so grateful and touched by your lovely words and well wishes, and it's an honor to know you too. if my silly little blog can provide you any comfort, it makes it infinitely more meaningful to me. there is such a sense of joy in that and it reminds me how worthwhile it is to be here. you all certainly bring light to my days! i wish the same joy and peace to you, and i hope september wraps you up in warmth and contentment and happy moments! please remember you're welcome to stop by any time and that i'm sending love and the biggest hugs back your way.

#🥺💗#i have a reply on a post from you that's weeks old at this point that i meant to respond to and i've just been overwhelmed/scattered #but i LOVE to read your thoughts and replies <333 #snowstormserenade #letterbox #people are too nice to me #things to remember

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nimata-beroya · 2 years

Note

Hi! After rereading Rough Awakening (which is amazing btw) I hope you'll have someday the time to continue it (no pressure!) Since you also are a SW Rebels fan I'm interested in your opinion with regards to the parallels between SW Rebels - The Honourable Ones and especially the last two episodes of TBB season 1. Do you think they could be used to predict Crosshair's journey because of the heavy analogy between the used tropes? Thank you and stay safe!

Oh, hi, nonnie! Sorry for the very, super, extra late reply 😅 You sent this months ago and I didn't reply right away. I was having some RL issues to deal with but I'm here now.

Thanks for the compliment 🥺🥰💕 and this wonderful question. It's not often that I get an ask but I love them.

First, YES, I definitely will continue Rough Awakening! 100% certain. When? Um, that's what I'm not so sure about. I write like one (1) sentence when I open the document every so often, and other ideas on my head pester until I write them down and force me to push aside my old ones. You know, typical shining new idea syndrome. So it'll take a while 😅 Next chapter is halfway done. There's hope, tho! I'm hyped after watching the season 2 trailer so that should motivate me to continue 😆 And don't be shy to pressure me. Gently and kindly but hold me accountable. Please, I beg you. That's what I need.

Second, oh dear nonnie, you have no idea how much I love your question! I remember the first time I watched the TBB finale and how much I screamed in that scene. The Deja vu to The Honorable Ones (which is my fave ep from Rebels) and the parallels are too strong to ignore. I believe that yes, it's a possible sign that Crosshair will get his redemption eventually. Those parallels are what have me if not happy, at least not mad, at the writers for making Crosshair go back to the Empire.

If I'm honest, I like the idea of him staying Imperial a bit longer more and more as time passes. Because despite the fandom's desire to have Cross back with his brothers, it makes sense story-wise that he's not. I know it sounds like a sacrilege, but hear me out! There's a difference between Kallus' and Crosshair's mental and emotional states at that point. Bahryn for Kallus, it was the moment he hit rock bottom; he had no other way to go but up after that. Kallus realized how insignificant he was to the Empire, it was the last straw, the last in a series of moments during all season 2 that led to that realization. If you rewatch Rebels' late season 1 and all season 2 you can notice those things (that at the moment seemed like nothing) that made a dent in Kallus' loyalty to the Empire. Had he not those previous moments, I think the story would've been very different. Zeb pushed Kallus over the edge but Kallus was already on the brink, even if he didn't admit it to himself. But Crosshair…

Crosshair is not nearly there yet. He's (rightfully) hurt because his brothers never came for him (although I understand why they didn't). He feels betrayed by them, so he gives his loyalty to those who gave him the illusion of being loyal to him. He doesn't see that he's deep in a -pardon my French- shit pit. He's deep in it but not at the bottom yet. So he's in such a precarious situation right now. I'm so eager to see how his deteriorating relationship with Rampart is going to go, and how things will go with ES-02 because neither she nor Rampart trusts him anymore (I'm sure of this despite Rampart praising Cross in the season 2 trailer). Now, it's when he's going to see how true Hunter's words are, that he's nothing but a number to them. How long will Crosshair take to actually see, to admit that to himself? I don't know. Probably more than I'd like to and he'll do horrible things in the meantime, unfortunately.

Although after watching the trailers for season 2 I have my fingers crossed 🤞for some of Cody's doubts to rub on him next season. I mean, we could say that Cody is one of the few if not the only Reg clone Cross respects. There's a tiny possibility for Cross to see that even the freaking Marshall Commander of the army starts questioning the Empire's motivation and ultimate goals. Do I believe that it will change Crosshair's mind 180 degrees right on the spot? Nope. Not even close. But it might plant the seed for future consideration. It'll be another of those necessary moments in Crosshair's journey. I'm hoping that he eventually will see it and reach out to his brothers.

I might add that Wrecker was right on calling Crosshair out for not contacting them after his "chip removal" (you know my position on the chip status since you've read my fic), as much as Crosshair was in roasting Hunter for abandoning him. I don't want to hear arguments about Crosshair couldn't do contact them because he'd been found out. I say that's BS. Because if it's true that the chip is gone and he was capable of coming up with all that scheme of bringing the rest of the batch to Kamino and into the training room on the pretenses of capturing them when he intended to bring them into the fold, to protect them, to save them (because it's in plain sight that he desperately wanted to be reunited with them), he very well could have sent a tiny little encrypted message to them instead of doing all that theatrics. Because regarding IQ, intelligence, cleverness, and all its synonymous, after Tech, Crosshair. Nobody can convince me otherwise. This is probably a moot point since the chip is still in (watching the longer trailer at the SW celebration confirmed it for me) but I digress.

What I'm trying to say is that, beyond his rightful emotional pain for being abandoned, Crosshair is a very intelligent person with the capacity to see the truth of things, and it's my sincere hope he's on a rocky road to redemption (my only caveat is that it does not end with his death. I hate that trope. Especially when we have Kallus' example. It's possible and 100% satisfactory to have a redemption arc that ends in a happily ever after). Of course, that hope is a cautious one at best because, despite his intelligence, Crosshair's very stubborn, and also we're talking about clones and Star Wars here, so I know how it is.

TL; DR. Yes, I think the parallel to The Honorable Ones is a strong sign of Crosshair's redemption arc. I can't wait to see it. It's going to be so angsty and heartbreaking but so good.

Nonnie, I hope this satisfied your curiosity and my inbox/chat is always open for more questions and discussions about all Star Wars. Don't be shy to reach out. I also hope you have a wonderful day. 💚

#mare replies #tbb #the bad batch #tbb crosshair

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