#I’ve been very indecisive about what to work on today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

charmedreincarnation · 9 months

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I’m kind of in a similar situation to your college indecisiveness post bc I want to shift but never have the time cuz all this studying. I’m really hating life rn. I’ve tried shifting a few times and managed to detach my awareness from this reality for a few minutes at a time, so i know what works for me, but I never have time to do it. I feel kind of drained that I could be achieving so much but I’m stuck not even having the time cuz I’m not smart enough to get done with all this HW fast enough

TLDR how do I be cool like you and too smart for school to be a big concern? Do I just say f**k it and do a shifting attempt when I’m supposed to be studying?

This was such a sweet ask 😭😭💖 I'm overwhelmed by the sweetness of your words, and I assure you, I'm far from being as cool as you think. In fact, I found myself facing the very same dilemma in the past! Now, I'm not sure if you're looking for some wisdom from Loa or valuable studying tips, so ill share a little bit of both? Also college-related questions/asks have been pouring in lately, so I've decided to address them all right here. I should probably just make it a post but I’ll use this ask as a reference.

Pre law perspective:

So my senior year, was when I really started my journey. It was during this time that I learned about shifting and manifesting (kind of law of attraction) so I naturally attempted everyday and had my focus to that. However, I basically spiraled into burnout and indifference towards school. Tbh It's still a mystery to me how I managed to do fine in school when I basically stopped attending classes mentally and barely did my work.

I've always had ADHD, anxiety, and procrastination issues throughout my high school years, But senior year took it to a whole new level. The boredom and disconnection from my studies were unbearable. I went through the motions, completing my homework, but for classes I didn't enjoy, I mindlessly attended without caring or understanding the material. It was a year filled with academic mediocrity, and certain subjects like AP Calculus and AP Biology, which I didn't even need for my future plans, were absolute torture.

And at the time I didn’t even fully understand what shifting was, But I clung to the notion that school no longer mattered in the grand scheme of things. Looking back, I realize it was a detrimental mentality to have for my well being. If there's one piece of advice I can offer, it's this - find a balance. Avoid burning yourself out completely, but don't neglect your mental well-being either. You are still here, whether you're shifting or not, whether you’re god or not, and whether you're actively manifesting or not. Diving deeper into a negative mental well will not benefit you in any way. Trust me, I learned this the hard way.

As my burnout intensified, I reached a point where I no longer wanted to be alive in this boring ass reality. It became so severe that I almost didn't apply to college. My entire focus was consumed by shifting, and I simply didn't care about anything else. It was my friends who came to my rescue, pushing me to apply and offering unwavering support. Without their guidance and nurturing, I honestly don't know where I would be today.

Eventually, I grew tired of being tired. I began diving into my subliminal journey, creating playlists that combined affirmations for school,success, and luck. I learned the importance of dividing my time wisely. During the second semester, I continued this approach, focusing on school-related practices during the day and dedicating my evenings to shifting attempts.

Affirmations and scripting became the root of my routine too. Miraculously, my grades improved, even when I skipped classes for an entire month or neglected to read the lectures.

I was able to graduate high school with honors, which in itself proves that success or whatever isn’t even just about being naturally "good at school." I worked smarter, not harder and knowing about manifesting really helped with that!

So I really advice you to find a balance in your journey. Don't pour all your energy into just school or just manifesting. Embrace the plethora of easy methods available - scripting, subliminals, binaural beats - and integrate them into your study routine. Make it work in your favor. Treat shifting like a cherished hobby, something that complements your academic pursuits rather than overshadowing them.

Also, set realistic standards for yourself. In high school, I used to obsess over achieving straight A's, disregarding any grade below perfection. Looking back, I realize how misplaced my priorities were. As long as you maintain a mix of A's, B's, and even a few C's, you'll be absolutely fine. Set a goal of achieving a GPA of 3.0 or whatever scale your institution uses, and celebrate every success along the way.

Loa perspective

Ok, now let's talk about the power of the Law of Assumption!

Now that I'm in a place where I give only about 20% of my time and effort to school and still do very well, I can help and reflect on my journey properly. Back in high school, like said I struggled with anxiety and ADHD, and I thought these challenges would hold me back.

Test-taking, deadlines, remembering information it all seemed overwhelming. But you know what helped me? Subliminals.

Listening to subliminals for intelligence and confidence made a significant difference in my life. They boosted my abilities and gave me the belief that I could excel academically. And that belief was everything.

As you probably know the Law of Assumption states that whatever we expect and assume to be true will become our reality. So, I decided to apply this principle to my studies. I assumed that I was capable of achieving great grades with ease. I assumed that school life would be manageable, and I would continuously improve my skills throughout the semester. I always visualized seeing As, revised my past grades, teacher giving me the grade I know I deserve no matter what.

And guess what? It worked! My mindset shifted towards greater productivity, and I started using my time more efficiently. As a result, my grades improved, and I had more time to focus on the things I genuinely enjoyed. It was a game-changer, and it accounted for about 70% of my success. Just imagine that - simply switching my mindset and accepting the positive results from my previous subliminal experiences.

I understand that college can be more stressful and demanding than high school. But it's still the same principle at play. You don't have to drastically change your study habits if you don't want to. Instead, use general resources during the day to aid your studying. And while you're at it, listen to subliminals that align with your goals. Instead of imagining and affirming to yourself that you're a failure and worrying about all the things that could go wrong, shift your focus. Imagine the grade you want, affirm and visualize that no matter what happens on your test, you'll still pass the class with flying colors. Remember, it's just one test, one assignment, and there are so many more opportunities ahead.

General school tips

* Stop checking your grades every day. Seriously, it's only stressing you out. Grades can fluctuate randomly, especially in college (and honestly, even in high school). Instead of obsessing over the numbers, focus on staying on top of your assignments. Keep up with your work, put in your best effort, and trust that alone will reflect in your grades.

* Say no to all-nighters. Trust me, reading the same material for 12 hours straight won't magically make you understand it. If something isn't clicking, it's probably an internal issue. There's no need to spend an entire night alone trying to grasp a single concept. Look for alternative resources like recap lessons on YouTube or seek help from a tutor or classmate. Remember, it's okay to acknowledge what doesn't come naturally to you and instead focus on your strengths.

* Realistically, doing your homework and attending class means you're probably not failing. Even if you're not getting the grade you want, it doesn't mean you're headed for failure. Those big tests that carry a significant weight in your grade may impact your GPA, but they don't define the trajectory of your life. Take a moment to reflect on all the times you thought a single grade would ruin everything, yet here you are, still alive and thriving. You've been through challenges before, and you're stronger than you think. Breathe, remind yourself that you're not alone in these thoughts and stresses, and keep pushing forward.

* Make friends and join class group chats. Trust me, these connections are gold. Joining group chats on platforms like GroupMe or Snapchat allows you to ask questions, collaborate on study guides, and realize that you're not alone in this journey. Even if they're not your closest friends, having a support system within your classes can make all the difference.

* Use EFT tapping for anxiety, especially before tests. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping is not only useful for Law purposes, but it can also work wonders for managing anxiety. Check out my pinned guide on how to use EFT tapping. It has personally helped me immensely, and I hope it does the same for you.

* Work smarter, not harder. The truth is, those who seem to breeze through school while partying every night still manage to graduate and pass just like everyone else. The key is finding shortcuts, utilizing the vast resources available on the internet, and working smarter, not harder. Embrace technology, explore online study tools, and leverage the power of the internet as your greatest friend in this journey.

Here are some free recourses:

Math and Science

1. MathMagic Lite: This app lets you write any mathematical expressions and various scientific symbols easily

2. Equatio: A powerful equation editor that makes it easy to create digital, accessible maths

3. Microsoft Mathematics: Can be used to write mathematical expressions, solve equations, and plot graphs

4. Desmos Scientific Calculator & Graphing Calculator: Utility apps for students and teachers for calculations and graph plotting

5. WolframAlpha: A computational search engine that can solve a wide variety of problems, especially useful for math and science

Article/Video Summarization

6. Smmry: A website that summarizes articles for you

7. TLDR This: A browser extension for quick article summarization

8. Inshorts: An app providing news in 60 words or less

9. Listenable: Converts articles into short audio files

Note-Taking

10. Evernote: A note-taking app where you can jot down thoughts, save things you find online, and even scan physical documents with your phone's camera

11. Microsoft OneNote: Allows for free-form information gathering and multi-user collaboration

12. Notion: An all-in-one workspace where you can write, plan, collaborate, and get organized

Concept Explanation

13. Khan Academy: Offers practice exercises, instructional videos, and a personalized learning dashboard that empower learners to study at their own pace in and outside of the classroom

14. Coursera: Provides universal access to the world’s best education, partnering with top universities and organizations to offer courses online

15. Complexly: A YouTube channel that produces a variety of educational content, including the series Crash Course which covers many different subjects in depth

16. citation machine: you never have to make source citations by yourself. This gives your both in test and citations for your essays and research.

Lastly I’m gonna put all the free resources most colleges offer for free!

Academic Resources

* Online Study Platforms: Websites such as Khan Academy, Coursera, and edX offer free or low-cost courses on a variety of subjects that can supplement your coursework.

* Academic Advising Centers: Most colleges have an academic advising center where students can get guidance on course selection, degree requirements, and academic planning.

* Writing Centers: Writing centers provide assistance with writing assignments, including proofreading, editing, and helping with citations.

* Library Research Databases: Your college library likely subscribes to a number of research databases (like JSTOR, EBSCO, and ProQuest) that can provide access to academic journals, books, and other resources.

2. Career Resources

* Career Centers: These centers offer career counseling, resume reviews, interview preparation, and job search assistance.

* Internship and Co-op Programs: Many colleges have programs that help students find internships or co-op positions in their field of interest.

* LinkedIn Learning: This platform offers courses on a variety of career-related topics, including networking, resume writing, and job interviewing.

3. Mental Health and Wellness Resources

* Counseling Centers: Most colleges offer free or low-cost mental health services to students, including individual therapy, group sessions, and workshops.

* Fitness Centers: Regular exercise is important for both physical and mental health. Most colleges have fitness centers that offer a variety of workout options.

* Mindfulness and Meditation Apps: Apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided meditations that can help reduce stress and improve mental health.

4. Financial Aid Resources

* Financial Aid Office: Your college's financial aid office can provide information on scholarships, grants, work-study opportunities, and student loans.

* FAFSA: The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) is the key to accessing federal financial aid, including grants, work-https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/712878654521262080/everything-eft-tapping?source=share funds, and loans.

* Scholarship Search Engines: Websites like Fastweb and Scholarships.com can help you find scholarships that you may be eligible for.

Other questions I got

Q: How did you manifest graduating early?

A: Graduating early was always a desire deep within me. I didn't realize it was on track to manifest until I had a meeting with my advisor. Interestingly, when I found out it was happening, I wasn't as ecstatic as I thought I would be. It made me realize that desires can change as we grow and evolve. So, if something you once desired doesn't bring you the same joy anymore, it's perfectly okay. Life is all about evolving and embracing new desires.

Q: What affirmations do you use?

A: Since I had a multitude of desires in various aspects of my life, I found it tiring to have a separate affirmation for each one. So, I opted for general affirmations that encompassed all areas of my life. For example, I would affirm statements like "I am the luckiest person alive," "Everything works out my way," and "I always get my desires." These affirmations can be applied to all aspects of life, including school. The key is to find affirmations that resonate with you and create a positive mindset.

Q: How do you manage the law/shifting and school?

A: As I mentioned earlier, integration is the key! You don't have to view manifestation or shifting as something separate from your school life. Instead, incorporate these practices seamlessly into your daily routine. The goal is to make it a part of your lifestyle without feeling like it's an extra burden or sacrifice. For example, if a certain method, like wbtb lucid dreaming, is disrupting your sleep schedule, consider switching to other methods like subliminals or reality checks. You can still set intentions before going to bed, which will be effective without compromising your sleep. Find what works best for you and strike a balance between school, manifestation, and your mental health

Q: What to do if affirmations don’t work:

A:maybe you don’t think with words. I’m more of a visual person and will always believe and like images more than words. I would just imagine my grades always being an A. No matter what, no matter if I failed a test or forgot to submit a homework even if I failed everything I still got an A! If you don’t like to visualize then change your wording to how you naturally speak. Maybe you don’t even like affirmations, it’s really different for everyone.

Q:I don’t want to go to this college but I still have to apply, is that affecting living in the end:

A: nope I don’t think taking action or not taking action affects anything If you’re living in the end. Just because you apply doesn’t mean you’ll get in simply because you took the action. Do what you have to do it doesn’t matter if you’re living your 3D life but know imagination is your true reality. If you’re a billionaire and sleep in a homeless shelter that doesn’t take away from the fact you’re a billionaire. Who knows why you’re at a homeless shelter and who knows why you’re applying for college. It doesn’t dictate anything.

Q:I needed to get into the void before college but now I’m here without my dream life and I hate it. What do I do:

A: well it’s happened so take a deep breath. You can still master the void, in fact you already have you’re just being silly and want a funny humbling story. There is no better time than now to be delulu. When you’re trying to escape something and it passes accept it and make it your bitch tbh. honestly keeping busy definitely helped me in my journey anyways, but I did provide tips above so you have free time because you shouldn’t just be immersed in school. For example when I was poor, it was because I needed a humbling back story because no one likes people born into wealth. I’m assuming you still want to be in college, and yea, it’s just cool to have started from the bottom before you become that It girl. That’s your choice and your truth but now you’re done with being humble so go tap into the void.

Q: what’s your perspective on manifesting a perfect life. like nothing bad ever happens but also having a good life with just minor challenges (nothing too big) and I don’t wanna normalize suffering bc who wants to suffer?

A: ok this had a school ask but that was just the gist of it. anyways not that my opinion matters first and foremost. But I think that’s great. Who wants to suffer… exactly. You know I like being human, but I did not like my human experience before Loa. I do like challenges, I like growth, I like not being perfect, and I like being happy and getting what I want too! you can still have all those human aspects and manifest everything you desire. Mary Sues do don’t exist because humanity exists. Don’t worry about it. Your life won’t feel stagnant or unreal or something, I promise

Ok sorry this came out longer than I expected but I had a lot to say. I hope that answers all the asks I’ve been getting ! You all got this, college, your manifesting journey, your anxiety, all of it. All of your dreams & desires are within your reach (right in front of you !!!) so go for it and still live your best life <3!

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #my asks #void state #shiftblr #reality shifting #school #hot girl scholar 👩‍🏫#college

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strqyr · 1 year

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So after thinking about it for a good nine minutes at work today and after just watching The Indecisive King, I’ve decided the crown Aka the Relic of Choice is IN the tree. I am not good at long theories but come ON the first king making decision he did was about a Tree That Fell (and broke a fence). It’s a relic that has no practical use, meaning that Oz putting it in the Ever After means he would’ve had no use for it himself. I don’t know about the sword but the lamp can only answer 3 questions every 100 years and the staff can only make and keep one new creation at a time and it destroys the last thing it makes to create a new one. ALSO I guess the moral or good end of The Indecisive King is that one person having to carry the burden of making all the rules and knowing too much on their own leads to that person being burnt out and second guessing themselves. I still have no idea what’s really going on with Alyx and what truly happened to her both the first time and then with Jaune, but we don’t have the full picture. “Share your burden with me. Let me wear the crown so I may understand.”

“This crown… it gives a glimpse into the future, to a decision that must some day be made.”

“If you only concern yourself with the future you will miss the good things right in front of your eyes. Life is full of decisions, but you must trust yourself to do the right thing when the time comes. YOU must keep living.”

They don’t know how to stop Salem, they don’t know what’s waiting for them back home, they don’t know if they can do all they’ve been asked to do. But the point is that none of them are doing it alone. None of them have All the answers but Together they might just find one. If there IS a sacrifice that’s a choice they’ll have to make. And if not there’s probably going to be one last little mind puzzle they have to answer for themselves before the path home is revealed. We know the sword is in Vacuo. If the crown really is at the ruins then things will end where they started which is at Beacon which is what I personally would like, for them to go back to Beacon I mean. But the crown has a very good chance of being in the Ever After and I’m on team tree until the next four episodes prove me wrong haha

Also the cat endlessly seeking knowledge via all their questions and the opening of the story which is “Is knowledge the answer to all your problems? Surely being more informed leads to smarter choices.” Idk it’s giving the gang isn’t asking the right or interesting questions bc they’ve been trying to stick to a path that fundamentally will not work for them by virtue them not being in the Book but the Location of the Ever After and their very presence would’ve changed things even if they were in the literal book.

Team Tree!

you know. i could see it. i mean it depends if ozma knows about the ever after and how to get there (i don't think he would leave the crown in the ever after without ever having a way to get it back).

alternatively it could be that the door that leads to remnant (if such door actually exists) is somehow connected to where the crown is, so the crown would still be on remnant, but in a place that would still have (magical) protection as i doubt the other side of the door to the ever after is just. out there for everyone to walk through.

main reasons i find this compelling is bc of 1. the connection between choice and knowledge, 2. the ever after is definitely playing around with these two concepts, with the curious cat asking questions (and answering them, and also highlighting the importance of asking the right questions) and the whole thing with the crossroads that requires making choices between two options (but is that the only way to go through it? deciding to go with neither is a choice as well.) and 3. well.. there's is a big tree in the ever after, and the vault of knowledge also had a tree with some magical properties. like. the trees, i do not understand them, but they do compel me so.

there's also the "a place like these vaults" instruction team rwby gave ambrosius for the central platform, from where they then fell to the ever after, so. the possibility is there that the vaults are connected to the ever after in some way—if not directly, then like. being in the same realm or something. perhaps acting as in-between? the vaults have similar effects within them as did the white void where the god of light brought ozma from afterlife.

i think there's a good possibility that there's something here, but how exactly it all fits together, i'm still unsure about.

#rwby #rwby9 #rwby spoilers #majoringinsarcasm #ask.strqyr #it's a nice and thought provoking theory #like i could subscribe to this

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fates-theysband · 1 year

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won't you stay with me, my darling?

FALSE ALARM I AM BACK BABY!!!

anyway uh. this is the thing ive been working on for two damb weeks. anyway herein lies uno reverse cards, getting dunked on by one's work buddies, and a. uh. um. [turns and runs out of the room]

The setting sun came as a relief. Fate’s office was quiet for the first time all day–all meetings with management concluded, all calls returned, all profiles received, reviewed, and filed away. The only thing he had left to do was wait for one brief meeting that could very well be hours away. Plenty of time to think, and nothing to interrupt him.

All the better, because while his office may have been quiet (save for the occasional soft rustling of Lady Pawdington adjusting her position on his lap) his mind was not. He was all at once paralyzed with indecision, sick with dread, vibrating with anxiety, and yet giddy with excitement. It was all too much, and he considered fabricating an excuse to leave early, to retire to his quarters and at least agonize about this in a more comfortable setting.

“No,” he murmured under his breath as he recalled what sight awaited him there, resting his forehead against one hand and using the other to gently scratch Lady’s head. He’d worry the velvet right off that little box on his bedside table if he spent another night turning it over in his hands, pondering the right time or if he even should.

Maybe he’d discuss it with someone else once this last meeting was finished. He just had to wait for–

“Uh, Fate?”

The sudden sound snapped him out of his ruminations, and he looked up at the source. A small figure in an oversized robe, with cat ears and gleaming yellow eyes. Spawn #89. Rico Chatte.

“Forgive me,” Fate responded, sitting up straighter in his desk and attempting to compose himself. “I didn’t expect you to arrive quite so early. Let’s go over your conduct for today.”

“Uhhhhh-huh,” they responded, raising an eyebrow suspiciously but pressing no further. “Sure. Let’s hear it.”

He rifled through the stack of profiles he’d left on his desk for this meeting. As usual, the correct ratio of life to death, although, as expected if not appreciated, they’d completely ignored everything else he’d asked of them for this batch. But that wasn’t a cause for termination, and he was in no mood to nettle them for it tonight, so he let it slide. “As I’ve come to expect from you, everything is in order. Nothing else to really say, so, unless you have any questions for me, I believe we can conclude this meeting.”

There was a silence as the two parties stared each other down, Fate silently willing Rico to leave as they seemed to be attempting to puzzle something out. The whole scene put him in mind of the moment right before a duel, that long few seconds before both opponents draw their weapons and attack.

“Okay, spill it. You’re acting weirder than usual. What’s going on?” Rico’s question pierced the silence like a hole punch, and their tone poked just as many holes in what Fate had thought was a perfect facade of nonchalance.

The keeper of world order scoffed dismissively at the feline reaper’s accusation. “Don’t be silly. There’s nothing going on. I’m simply…pondering something. Nothing you need to worry about.” Silently, he cursed himself for the slight hesitation.

“Are you kidding me?” Rico leaned forward, resting one hand on Fate’s desk and regarding him with narrowed eyes and alert ears. “The entire time I’ve worked here, the main thing I have ever needed to worry about is you pondering things. If you are pondering something, I need to know what it is as soon as possible for my own mental health.”

“The dilemma currently troubling me is not one I would consider it appropriate to ask an employee’s advice on,” Fate responded, more sharply than he intended. He cleared his throat, taking a breath to compose himself. “I apologize for the outburst. It’s a…personal matter, is all. Not to worry, I’ll figure it out on my own time. See you tomorrow.”

Rico made no move to leave, although their expression changed from accusatory to confused. “A ‘personal matter’? What, are you and Charlie having relationship issues or something? They make it seem like everything’s fine, but…”

“That is none of your business,” Fate hurriedly cut Rico off before they could say anything further. Of all the people in the Office for his beloved to have as a close friend… “And, actually, it’s quite the opposite,” he added, quietly, glancing aside and feeling his face warm slightly.

“‘Quite the opposite’, huh?” Rico said, looking (appropriately) like the cat that ate the canary. “Thinking of taking a big step?”

There was no denying it now. Fate sighed and turned back to face his subordinate. “If you breathe a word of this, especially to Charlemagne, the consequences will be dire,” he warned.

“Yeah, yeah, my lips are sealed, I’ve kept a lid on juicier stuff than this,” Rico waved away the warning, rolling their eyes. “Let’s hear it.”

“Lately I have been wondering if I should…” he paused to swallow, trying not to choke on what came next. “...ask them to marry me.”

The silence descended on the room again, both parties seeming in deep contemplation. The reaper spoke first once again. “Honestly, I think you should go for it.”

The encouragement came as a pleasant surprise. “Is that so?” Fate responded.

“Yeah,” Rico confirmed. “They talk about you like you hung the moon. It drives me nuts. I can’t mention you in conversation around them without hearing about this or that sooooo cute and charming thing you did last time they saw you.”

Fate turned bright red at that revelation. “I…I had no idea they spoke of me that way.”

“They do. Frequently. I’d put a lot of darksouls on them saying yes if you popped the question. And I have.”

“It heartens me to hear that. I appreciate the encouragement. Although I do wish to warn you that office betting pools are against–”

Rico cut him off as they began backing away from his desk toward the door. “Hey, won’t do it again, I think you letting this one slide is a fair trade, I’ll get out of your hair now, go get ‘em, tiger!” They gave a final thumbs up before slipping through the door entirely, closing it behind them and leaving Fate alone in his office.

He glanced down at Lady Pawdington, who was in turn looking curiously up at him, and ran a hand over her head once again. Now if only he could think of a good place…

–

Inventory day at the Emporium was usually a lively occasion, or at least as lively as that dusty old hall could get. But today Charlie wasn’t much in the mood for banter. Too much to think about. Instead they contented themself with the calming rhythm of unpacking and repacking desk widgets, outfits, and visages into storage boxes, only faintly noticing the sounds of their employer softly humming and jotting down names and quantities.

The thoughts were burning a hole in their mind. They were itching to tell someone, but if this somehow got back to him…well, it probably wouldn’t be a disaster, but it’d definitely take the wind out of their sails (heh) to know the surprise was spoiled. And as much as they wanted to tell everyone lest they explode from having to keep their anticipation inside, there was another part that wanted to keep this fully secret, to give nobody else the satisfaction of knowing. All the same, though…a bit of advice would not go amiss. This was not something they could afford to mess up.

They decided to chance it. “Hey, Mortimer?” they asked, glancing over at the skeletal pirate sitting a few paces away. “Can I ask you kind of a weird question?”

“I’d be disappointed if ye were to ask me a normal one!” Mortimer quipped in response. “Fire away.”

“So, you’re pretty worldly, right? Lot of life experience? Probably have seen just about everything?” Charlie began, twisting in their seat so the two were facing each other.

Mortimer buffed their nails (or where their nails would be, if they still had flesh) on their shirt in mock dismissiveness. “Not to toot me own horn, of course, but aye, you could say ol’ Mortimer’s weathered just about every storm there is.”

“Good, good. I’ve got a little hypothetical for you,” Charlie continued, entwining their fingers and resting their chin on them. “So, let’s say, for the sake of argument, you have this friend. And your friend has been…courting someone for a long time.”

“Aye,” Mortimer responded, sitting forward on their stool. “Don’t suppose me friend and their love interest correspond to anybody I’d know in real life, do they?” Skeletons weren’t the most expressive bunch, and yet it was somehow clear they were smirking knowingly.

“You can think that, if it helps you contextualize it,” Charlie responded with a shrug. “The point is, your friend comes to you one day with a dilemma. They would like to propose to their beloved, but they aren’t sure about a few things.”

“Well,” Mortimer put a hand to their chin in thought. “I’ve received me fair share of marriage proposals, and given a few of ‘em, so I’m happy to give ye–er, sorry, this hypothetical friend yer askin’ on behalf of –some nuggets of wisdom.”

“Great! So they’re not overly worried about the possibility of being rejected–it’d hurt for sure, but no need to count their chickens in either direction here. But I don’t–THEY don’t,” Charlie hurriedly corrected themself, “have much experience with this sort of thing. They’ve only really seen it in stories. They don’t really have the time or resources for anything big or showy, but…would it really be enough to just drop to one knee and ask?”

Mortimer seemed to ponder for a moment, before answering, “If I know the captain–and I’d say I do, I did plunder their wardrobe, after all–they’d probably rather ye do that than make a big show of it. I can picture the old sea dog keelin’ over on the spot if ye so much as asked ‘em in public!” They punctuated the statement with a guffaw.

Charlie couldn’t help but laugh in response. “You’re probably right. Wouldn’t be much of an occasion if that happened,” they joked. “I’m just nervous, I guess. You probably understand how it is.”

“Aye, that I do,” Mortimer replied. “But with the way they are around ye…well, I’ve been thinkin’ about what I’d say in me speech at yer reception for a long time.”

“Awfully presumptuous of you,” Charlie said with a shake of the head and a small chuckle.

“Ol’ Mortimer can always tell which way the wind’s gonna blow,” the quartermaster boasted.

“I guess so.” More quietly, they continued, “You’re not gonna tell anybody, are you?”

“Nay, never,” Mortimer responded. “But I’d better get to hear how they reacted.”

“You’ll be the first to know. Swear to it.”

–

The silence in the top-floor office almost seemed to hum with anticipatory energy. Or, the sole being occupying it mused to himself, perhaps that was just projection, an attempt to reduce the weight on his mind by unfurling it and laying it across the entire room.

He’d made special preparations for tonight–no chance anyone could interrupt, no chance anything could interfere. Just him, his beloved, and the view from his office window–the night sky combined with the lights from Cosmopolis City below looked uniquely stunning tonight. Hopefully it was a romantic enough setting to warrant a proposal–anything else he could think of had felt too contrived, too obvious, too much.

Fate glanced uneasily from the window to the clock on the wall. Charlie should be arriving any moment now. They’d reacted unexpectedly when he’d asked them to meet him in his office after they finished their shift–they seemed to noticeably relax, as though something had been worrying them and he’d just given them carte blanche to forget it entirely. Then they’d said, “I’ll see you then. Can’t wait,” kissed him, and headed back into the Emporium. That had only been a few hours ago, but it felt so long ago, and the sentiment they’d expressed–can’t wait–was one he shared.

Faintly, from the small entryway just outside his office, he heard the unmistakable ding of the elevator pull him back into the moment. Adjusting the box in his pocket one more time for good measure, he took a deep breath and then strode toward the door.

–

The elevator whirred toward the top of the building, announcing with faint tones every floor it passed. Charlie still retained their floor visibility clearance, despite everything, and they wished more fervently than ever before that they hadn’t. The building was far too tall, the wait far too agonizing. It was by no means uncommon for Fate to ask them to meet him in his office once they finished their shift, but the way he’d carried himself…they’d seen him that nervous exactly once before, and it was when the two of them met for their first date.

The memory brought a smile to their face. He’d been a little late–only by a few minutes, although he’d apologized profusely nonetheless and was clearly distressed that he hadn’t been able to make the exact time. They’d wasted no time forgiving him, their worries that he would stand them up or that they’d misinterpreted his intentions fading away. They could tell whatever worries he’d had were quelled in that moment too, and the only memory of that night they treasured more than the sight of his brow unfurrowing and his lips slowly curling into a subtle smile was the goodbye.

The two of them had been standing in the elevator outside the Emporium, preparing to go their separate ways for the night. Fate was asking, with a level of verbosity typical of one who hadn’t had much experience navigating romance, if they’d like to go out with him again sometime, and Charlie, still giddy about even getting to go out with him this time, had cut him off with an impulsive kiss and a delighted “Yes!!!”

The slight jolt of the elevator halting, followed by the whir of the opening doors, cut off the reminiscing. They patted the ring box in their pocket (logically, they knew it hadn’t gone anywhere, but with how many different trains of thought they had chugging in different directions, it felt important to ensure that they hadn’t forgotten the thing entirely), and made their way toward the door. They knocked once, heard Fate respond “come in” from the other side, and pulled the door open.

There he was, standing on the other side, hands behind his back, wearing a nervous smile. The moonlight shining through the windows illuminated him beautifully, and as he extended his hand to take theirs, Charlie found themself reminded of a romance novel. Two lovers, alone under a beautiful night sky, about to pledge their eternal devotion to one another.

Or, well, they hoped that last part was true and not just wishful thinking.

Fate pressed a kiss to their hand. “Good evening, my love,” he said, in that gentle tone they could only hope he reserved for them alone. “It’s wonderful to see you.”

“I could say the same for you,” Charlie replied, feeling their face warm and chuckling shyly. “Nobody better to spend such a beautiful night with. Although…the night sky’s not exactly the most beautiful thing I see right now,” they teased.

It never failed. Fate blushed harder than Charlie had ever seen before and his composure, while not completely gone, was clearly shaken. “Well…it’s interesting that you should mention the night sky,” he murmured, and though his glasses still concealed his eyes it was clear he was having trouble looking at them. “I thought it might create a…a suitable atmosphere.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow. Surely he wasn’t also…they asked, “A suitable atmosphere for what?”

“There is…something I need to ask you. Something I have wanted to ask you for quite a long time.” He released their hand and reached into his pocket.

The anticipation was killing them. “And that is?”

The silence as Fate lowered himself to one knee was as agonizing as it was brief. Charlie watched with a quiet excitement threatening to burst forth prematurely as he revealed what was in his hands: a small velvet box, which he opened to reveal a ring.

“Charlemagne, will you marry me?”

The excitement, no longer premature, burst forth immediately. Through delighted giggles, Charlie answered, “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I just have something to show you. You’re not going to believe this,” and fumbled in their pocket for a moment, pulling out their own ring box. Popping it open, they continued, “Fate, will you marry me?”

The two of them remained like that for a moment, staring at each other, in awe at what had just happened. Fate spoke first. “I…believe we both have our answers, don’t we?” He rose to his feet, and Charlie wasted no time throwing themself into his arms, nearly knocking the both of them to the floor.

“I love you,” they sobbed joyfully, burying their face in his chest and squeezing him tighter, desperate to get as close as they possibly could. “I’m so glad you’re mine.”

Softly, Fate replied, “And I love you. Eternity is a long time, but I can think of no one better to have by my side throughout it.”

Charlie broke the embrace, pulling back just enough to reach up and pull Fate into a kiss. Eternity may be a long time, but they could happily spend all of it in this moment.

#r: curses #questionable writing tag #self ship #self shipping #selfship #This Gets The Maintag.#marriage cw

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daedrabait · 10 months

Text

Snippet Someday

I was tagged by @dirty-bosmer to do this very interesting tag game! I loved it and it helped me to look back on my writing, especially since I’ve been having some trouble appreciating my work.

tagging: @argisthebulwark @hezenvengeance @mmmchimken and whoever else would like to take part (I’m not sure how many of my followers are writers)

Rules: Revisit an old fic (or earlier chapters of your current WIP) and share a snip from:

Your first chapter

Your favorite chapter

Your most challenging chapter

Alternatively, if you don’t write longfic, feel free to share your one-shots. Provide as much or as little commentary as you want.

From Dust and Dim Sunshine

First Chapter: (technically numbered ch. 2 in ao3 due to prologue)

Theo took a slow drink from the wine he'd ordered. It wasn't as sweet as the spiced wine he usually liked, but he wanted to expand his horizons. There were tougher things he would need to face than drinking sour wine if he was to persist in his endeavors.

Just then, someone walked into the inn. Theo would not have heard if not for the soft echo of the door closing. This person's steps were soundless; they seemed to glide across the old and worn wooden floor. Theo turned to look back at them, expecting a small, nimble individual. This stranger was definitely not small.

He stood at least a few inches taller than Theo at most; the man wasn't very tall, but he was definitely broad. He wore black leathers and a cloak that didn't so much as rustle; Theo didn't think it was an enchantment on the armor, but rather the person wearing it was trained to move in such a way that produced no sound.

There were several daggers strapped to the stranger's hips, and a well-stocked arrow quiver strapped to his back. The black arrows stored within it seemed to suck in the light, blacker than the darkest night. Daedric. There was a matching bow slung on his back as well, twinning the arrows with its raw and eerily powerful aura, its true crimson grooves offset by darker-than-midnight ebony.

Theo had to get a better look at this intimidating stranger. He was remarkable even from a distance.

Favorite Chapter: Chapter 8. I’m not sure if it could qualify as my all-time favorite chapter because I’m really indecisive, but it’s definitely got one of my favorite scenes and one I’d like to share here most.

He spotted Griffin walking out the door of one of the nearby shops. The circles beneath the man's eyes were darker than usual today, the cool toned purple tinge of them standing out against his golden brown skin and upon the pale scar marring the right side of his face.

"Theo," he had said in his soft, lovely voice by way of greeting. It set Theo's sore heart fluttering. "I have something for you."

The warrior had handed him a ring. It was set with a deep blue sapphire that caught the dim sunshine and reflected it against its silver band. It hummed with magical power; enchanted, with a magicka enhancer.

The ring was beautiful. It slid easily onto Theo's middle finger. It would have been a little large on his bare hand, but it was a perfect fit with the thickening barrier of the glove he wore. He stroked his index finger over the smoothly cut gem, his heart swelling.

It was a peace offering. An expensive one, too; Theo had an inkling of what such jewelry - especially the enchanted kind, must've cost. At first guilt had gripped him like a vice; he did not want Griffin to think he needed appeasement, and he was the one who was supposed to be paying Griffin for his endeavors on the Imperial's behalf. But the gift... he had to admit it felt nice. He tried not to think of it as anything but a material present and not one that meant any sort of sentiment. Besides - of course the apprentice wizard's magic was useful. The magicka enhancement helped widen his mana pools. It wasn't about the jewelry, but rather the utility in which the enchantment provided. But the ring... He could not deny that the ring was lovely. It wasn't just any plain band.

Most Challenging Chapter: Chapter 14. It’s the newest chapter in the fic and by far the hardest one I’ve written as of late, with 6k words of angst and lots of difficult interactions.

"You don't..." Griffin trailed off and then sighed, "The treatment isn't right, no matter what."

"So you're the only person who is allowed to be unkind to me, Griffin?" The words poured out of him, bitter and wavering, as a fresh wave of tears dampened his eyes. "Why do you even pretend to care about my feelings? We are just... partners, not even friends." He wiped away his tears with shaky fingers, careful to avoid his glasses lenses. It hurt so much to say the word 'partners' when for a split second he'd lead himself to believe that they were lovers instead.

Griffin flinched, and it felt like another stab to the heart. He sighed again. It must've been truly exhausting for him to have to pick up the pieces of a pain he inflicted upon himself, Theo thought bitterly.

"That doesn't mean I hate you, Theo... We are partners, but I don't want to see you hurt by others either."

The Imperial wanted to scream at him. I fell in love with you, and I thought you loved me too, but you broke my heart. You led me on. You pretended and I fell for it.

"Your job is to keep me safe from physical dangers - not to treat me like glass. Remember that." He turned away, quick, and with this newfound burst of anger he walked out of Dragonsreach. He didn't look back - didn't need to. Griffin would follow on his own time.

#tag games #skyrim fanfiction #dust and dim sunshine #oc: theo #oc: griffin #my writing #my ocs #skyrim #tes #tesblr

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a-d-nox · 9 months

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Feedback: thank you so much for letting me play. I’m so appreciative, because I’ve been trying to learn about the different orbs. But the information is so limited or the websites charge. Everything you said is spot on. I definitely feel like my romantic situation is moving at all. I haven’t had any actual adult romantic relationships. But hearing that the universe is just using this time to teach me lessons that I’ll need for my lifetime partner puts me at ease. Everything you said about my ideal partner is so accurate. It’s like you’re in my brain. I like people who are very open and believe in constant communication to get to know each other better and to make sure that everyone’s feelings are being displayed/heard. I like that he be someone that’s always changing. I think that’s important for growth and can help me grow as well. I also like them being intuitive. It’s good that the person will not fear much, because I constantly fear so much. Which makes it hard for me to make decisions because I fear change and making the wrong choice. I think it’s sweet that this person would possibly help with my dreams. But since I’m so indecisive I don’t even know if I have dreams or goals. I’ll remember to take your advice and chose Devine love and not rush for instant gratification. Also learning how to be masculine and feminine. I feel like people always say the wives have to be serving and submissive because mean aren’t attracted to the opposite. So I worry about not being feminine enough especially because I come from a family dynamic where my mom was the masculine leader of the house. So, I don’t know if I’d naturally mimic that. But at the same time I fear being solely masculine because I seen how my mom having to be the only leader in her relationship has stressed her out and put her in survival mode. She’s hyper independent, and constantly complains about wising that someone could save her instead of her having to save others. But she doesn’t even allow help. So, I definitely need to learn have to have balance, and we both in the relationship are both in equal measure. I’ll remember to show mutual respect and to communicate my feelings and worries. So I won’t grow resentful. Thank you so much !!! You’re so good at this, and are extremely knowledgeable. You’ve taught me so much today. I’m so grateful❤️. Thank you for you time. I look forward to experiencing all of your gifts/talents that your bring to this tumblr community. Congratulations again on your milestone. I know so many more followers are to come. I’m happy to be apart of your asteroid family😊.

of course! we are here learning together; i am glad that i could help you with your specific case during this game!! i do hear you; a lot of the matrix information is in russian - so accessibility is tricky for sure! lmao would you believe this isn't the first time someone has said i am in their head while reading their matrix?? i understand what you mean regarding the fem/masc scenario - my core number is 6, so i have to deal with healthy balance too. i was raised by a single mom so i understand what the model of an independent / strong-will woman does to societal expectations that women should be submissive and meek. i have come to understand that woman can do anything and don't need to rely on men, but no woman is an island - humans were meant to interact with one another. it's okay to need help or want someone to hold your hand as you walk through life together. i have faith you will come to figure out what works best for your 6 too! you're welcome! thank you for helping me celebrate 2k and for being here!

a.d. <3

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want a personal tarot reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

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gurugirl · 5 months

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i’ve been meaning to give a mini update but haven’t really got the time so i’m just gonna bulk it up here. yasss if you don’t mind

BASICALLY!

you got mini promo in my critical thinking lecture bc we were learning about Buddhist philosophy and my professor was like yeah these stories usually have a ✨guru ✨ and i was like OMG I KNOW HA! so yeah that whole week you were living rent free in my mind like woah!

and then i started talking to this person, not talking in like a omg this has the potential to be something more bc now that i think about it… i think i might be aromantic or something or it could just be that i have some like unresolved deep rooted subconscious trauma i need to work through to feel comfortable being vulnerable around someone… let alone a MAN ugh. anyways yeah the thing is when i told my roomies that this person may be idk have the intentions of being more than friends i got this feeling my roommate might have feelings for this person so i was like woah i need to back tf off. like to me if they did have feelings i would’ve used it as a way to get my virginity over and done with like GET HER OUT OF HERE! but now i’m setting up that boundary and i tell my roommate like girl you need to do something about this crush and she’s like no no you texted first and i was like GIRL I DONT LIKE THEM! but yeah i’ve hung out with them like twice and yeah im not feeling it at all, call me fucked up but they’re just too nice, it’s like they’re beating around the bush with me and prioritizing my feelings like hello? that’s not how i work, i’m so indecisive don’t put every decision we make on me yk? and they’re also very feminine which i feel really bad about saying bc they’re non-binary/ gender fluid but i tend to be attracted to more masculine/dominant energy (hence why i love your shit hello? 😋)

this is my finals week too and i just had my first final for chemistry and i just know that shit was bad like tell me why i guessed on 3/4 of that exam 😭 and then after i was done i turned on my phone to see messages from my study group saying they’re outside the building to celebrate… EXCUSE ME?! CELEBRATE WHAT EXACTLY?! i flopped. f for fail? more like f for FLOP! but yeah i have a bio exam tmrw and im not feeling it! like whyyyyyy! this is what i get for being a stem major like-

also! i read your new story and OH MY GOD! i love how harry like kinda knew she was reluctant bc of him so he like took the time to play with her a bit! AND I LOVE HOW YOURE BROADENING YOUR WRITING CATALOGUE! like ugh i love your creative growth, going from stories where y/n is submissive to somewhat dominant (stepmom) and then from having a third party being submissive (angel from profrry) to them being a potential dominant figure it’s so exciting! i love how you’re dipping your toes in different writing ponds UGH! i’m so excited to see what’s to come!

Ahh oh my gosh, babe! Love the update and I'm so flattered you were thinking of me during your critical thinking lecture 🤭😇

And I love that you're in stem! I'm so impressed 😍 Love that! Good luck this week to you! I finished my last final today (early) so I'm done until Spring semester starts 🎉

As for this person you've been talking to, yeah it really just sounds like you're not into them, which is fine. If you're not feeling it then that's okay. There has to be some attraction and connection and you just don't have it. They're probably better off just being your friend.

Thank you so much for saying all that about my writing! I really like trying new things so I'm happy you appreciate it 🥰

xoxo

#ask

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minria · 2 years

Text

Instagram Update

Pairing: idol!Hoshix idol!(reader)OC

Word Count: Approximately 800 words

Type/Genre: Fluff

Warnings: none?

Prompt: Nari goes back to Korea with her members after their world tour and dyes her hair blonde for the first time since their debut in 2015. Soonyoung, her childhood friend, is in for a surprise when her finds out about it from her Instagram post.

Note: I hope you guys don’t mind that I named the reader. I’m much more used to using names instead of y/n. 😅

______________________________________________________________

Hwang Nari

I sighed for the nth time whilst scrolling through my phone’s gallery, it’s been an hour since my indecisiveness struck and all I wanted to do was choose two photos to post in my Instagram. Two photos out of the 50 that Aeri Eonnie took for me. I dyed my hair blonde for the first time since our group’s debut 7 years ago, so I’m really excited to surprise our fans and even my friends. I thought posting in my Instagram would be the easiest way to show it, but here I am an hour after.

“Nari-ah, any photo you choose to upload, everybody’s gonna love it.” Aeri Eonnie commented after hearing me sigh once more.

I looked up from my phone to see her shift her gaze from my eyes to my phone and giving me a pointed look, to which I replied with another sigh. She groaned, pushing herself up and mumbling about getting us some drinks, leaving me in our practice room.

By the time she returned, I managed to narrow down my choices to 5, and with an exasperated groan, I randomly chose two and posted it without second thoughts. Downing my coke in big gulps after clicking ‘post’.

Kwon Soonyoung

I didn’t even notice I finished my drink when another bottle of water was handed towards me. I nodded my thanks to Minghao who flopped down on the floor beside me, Dino and Jun hyung, working on the choreography for one of our songs in the new album.

My phone vibrated beside me, lighting up with a notification from my peripheral vision. I didn’t bother taking my attention off from my notebook but when my two members beside me ‘ooh-ed’ in unison and Dino commenting, “Nari-noona looks so pretty!” “I didn’t know they’re back in Korea.”

I snapped my head to look at him with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. Did I forget they were coming home today? I thought it was supposed to be on the 5th. It was only August 3 today the last time I checked.

I grabbed my phone to check my messages. Sure, enough Nari had 3 messages for me letting me know they left Europe early and that she was here in the company for a meeting. The other notification from her as well, in Instagram. After replying to her messages and asking her to come up to our practice room if she was free, I opened my Instagram to see what was her update.

Oh.

Heat rushed to my face as I physically felt myself blush. Though she wasn’t fully showing her face in both photos, I still had to clutch my chest in a poor attempt at slowing my heart rate.

In the first photo, her blonde hair fell like a curtain on her shoulders and she was looking sideways, her laugh captured in frozen time, her eyes closed and crinkled from joy. The faint blush on her cheeks was so endearing but it was her outfit that made my heart thump louder. She was wearing my black and white checkered polo, unbuttoned and a black sleeveless shirt inside. I know it’s mine because I’ve been searching for that same polo in my closet for months and it looks very big on her. She looked ethereal even in casual clothes. Just as beautiful as she was, the day I finally understood what love was and how I saw it in her when we were kids.

The second photo was simply cute. Her face covered by her favorite chocolate milk drink that she was holding. I tried to act nonchalant while saving her picture and making it my home screen, but I should’ve known better than to do such things when I’m with my members.

One snicker from our maknae and I already know I’d be teased for weeks.

Hwang Nari

I just finished walking out the rest of my members who I didn’t notice was wearing sly smirks in their faces. The moment I turned around, a body knocked in to mine and arms wrapped themselves on my waist, pulling me flush against their chest. My panic faded when I recognized the scent that had me smiling and hugging them back.

“Hey Soon,” My words muffled and yet he was still able to understand me.

“Nari-ah,” he whispered, “I missed you. You look so pretty.”

“Shut up…I missed you too.”

After a few minutes, he pushed me to the elevator.

“Come on, we can catch up at the practice room, I wanna hear what my best friend has to say about her experience in Europe. I also ordered us pizza for dinner.”

“I already told you everything when we face timed!”

“Then tell me all about it again right now, and monitor my choreo after, I wanna hear your opinion on them.”

___________________________________________________________

“I can’t believe he kicked us out!”

“I can’t believe he still hasn’t asked her out, when they already act like a couple.”

#kwon soonyoung #hoshi #kwon hoshi #seventeen #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt fluff

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nebulousneuroticism · 1 year

Text

I got up for work today. My usual meeting was canceled, but I had a second one right after, so I was conscious for that. Afterwards, I worked a little until tiredness took me once more. I fell into a sleep full of strange dreams.

I woke slowly in the afternoon. Nothing much was happening at work, so I procrastinated a bunch. I was feeling very indecisive, both at work and in my home life... I paced around for a long time thinking about what I wanted for dinner, and ended up staying in and eating leftover soup and some eggs.

It was another unproductive night. I putzed around for a while, and ended up playing some of an old and rather notorious horror game called Corpse Party. I’ve always been kind of curious about it; it seems a little heavy-handed, but plenty spooky. Once I got tired of that, I just watched television and drank tea for the rest of the night.

I feel kind of bad tonight. I wish I were productive. I have some kind of confidence issue where I don’t believe that I’ll ever finish a thing, and therefore I never see anything through, reinforcing the belief that I’ll never finish anything, and so on. I want to be the kind of person who is driven, a creator, someone who lives their life with purpose. I admire those people so much. They are everything that I am not.

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enneamage · 1 year

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how do you find out your own enneagram & how did you find out all the information you know today? i am very indecisive so i cannot find out what i am for the life of me; tritype is frustrating to no end

In the very very beginning I just took a standard test and found that the answer suited me well enough. That won’t always work for everyone, but it’s a place to get started and get some best-guesses. The thing that really got me hooked was reading around the profiles and abruptly finding descriptions that made some very confusing people in my life suddenly make a lot of sense—I really fell down the rabbit hole from there.

I think I’ve gotten to where I am because I’ve been in a feedback loop with the world. I would know a lot less about how Sixes act and think, for example, if I only read info and profiles and didn’t observe them in the wild; Tommyinnit must be seen to be believed. There are a lot of resources online, both on websites and forums, and switching between observing people and checking reference materials got me to where I am today. It isn’t constant and sometimes I go for a long time without thinking of it at all, but it’s still lingering at the back of my mind for when I need it.

I tend to not do tritype, I understand why people want to do it but I tend to not think of it as useful as nailing down your core type. I’m even starting to get a bit sceptical of wing with the number of people who have a hard time relating to one exclusively over the other, although having an idea of the different flavors that exist within a type is still useful since the core type descriptions tend to miss nuances. I talk a bit more about hunting down type here, in case that helps.

I was repeating this a lot in the beginning, but the disclaimer has dropped off a bit since then-- people are still individuals with unique personalities above anything else. I really like this system because I’ve found it very helpful, but in the end individuality wins out over type and abstract patterns. Sometimes profiles can feel reductive if you’re expecting a perfect match and not finding it, so don’t worry if it doesn’t feel 100% as long as you’re pretty sure. Sometimes. Unless you’re wrong, but that can be hard to avoid without a second opinion >_>;. I think reading through more detailed versions of the personality profiles can help narrow it down from there.

Overall, you can find a lot just from googling around. I don’t think I’ve ever come across a book or website that managed to nail everything about this system that I think works well, but there’s a whole host of random websites out there that you can puzzle together info with.

#typologyposting #Also not to be cheeky but consider the Nine profile if being decisive is an issue in other areas as well

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agirldying · 2 years

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💙hi there, I’ve written to you in the past from when my partner compared himself to my father/abuser, and there’s been quite a bit of difficulty ever since. We’ve talked it out and he’s apologized and claimed to respect my boundaries and how we can move forwards, but last night it was expressed that…my graysexuality and indecisive and unsure nature in intimacy due to trauma makes him feel inferior, unloved, and unwanted. I don’t know…how to approach this. We’ve been together 2 years and the things he’s done in our relationship have made it hard for all of us (I’m part of a system) to trust him as we did in the beginning and intimacy feels extremely difficult as it is, but we’ve been affectionate in other ways that’s I’ve been really trying to push myself to do. He takes this shift as us stringing him along….when we had tried our best to be clear about our trauma from the get go…as hard and impossible as it feels to do that anyway. It feels like none of it matters, and he’s unwilling to break up since “this is as good as it’ll get” and “he just has to deal with it”…. It’s REALLY hard for *me* not to feel inferior in this case, I wish I wasn’t so barren inside that it affects my partner, I just really do not see how I can be any other way 😔 trauma really is a bitch

Hi anon,

I don't want to be one of those people that says "dump him" but there are several red flags in your relationship.

He doesn't seem to be understanding or respectful of your sexuality nor the reasons behind why it is what it is, first of all. I understand why he may feel all those ways about your sexuality, but he should understand that it has nothing to do with him, especially if you've been together for so long.

Along with that, he doesn't seem considerate or understanding about your trauma and how it has affected you, which I think is a big problem. Especially as a long-term partner, I personally believe it's essential that your partner understands and respects what you've been through and how that contextualizes the person you are today.

It's also bad that he would be unwilling to break up because "this is as good as it'll get" as that shouldn't be an excuse. It may be hard to entertain the thought, but if your relationship isn't really working, it's not in anyone's best interest to stay in it anyways just because it's "as good as it'll get". Part of loving one another is breaking up if someone isn't happy with how things are going, and if those things cannot be worked out.

I also just want to mention that it is not healthy to push yourself into being affectionate if it's just not how you feel. I don't know if I mentioned this last time but this reminds me of that article I often reference about the different kinds of consent because that sounds like unwilling consent, especially with the "absence of desire for desire."

I think it's important to understand that nothing you've mentioned here is your fault. It sounds like your partner has more work to do if you want to stay together, though in my opinion I don't think that's a good idea for either of you. But it's not my decision to make, it's your relationship so it's your call. It just doesn't sound like this relationship is very healthy, and I think you deserve the best.

Hope I could help. You're welcome back if you want to follow up or if you just need to talk. I'm here for you.

#text #asks #tw #vent #trauma #osdd #did #ptsd #cptsd #greysexuality #greysexual #relationships

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strangersontheelevator · 2 years

Text

Je Ne Sais Pas Qui Je Suis

C’est ironique que j’ai nommé cet article en Français. Parce que, pour le majorité de ma vie, j’ai tellement pensé que Français est un facteur de mon identité très importante. Mais, après l’entrée d’université, j’ai perdu ce facteur.

This was just a very convoluted way for me to say that I don’t know who the fuck I am. I think the version that I have of myself in my head is very much in conflict with who I actually am--who I want to be is also very far from who I actually am. I have no idea what this means. I know that as a 19-going-on-20 female girl it’s probably not the end of the world if I still don’t know definitively who I am, but I feel as though this is something I’ve really been struggling with the past few days. I’ve been getting insomnia a lot. I’m not sure why. It’s definitely partially anxiety-induced, also probably because I’m experiencing some withdrawal from a drug I became somewhat dependent on. But during these sleepless nights, all I can think about is how much I don’t know about myself. Who do I like? Who do I dislike? What do I like? What do I dislike? What do I want to do? What do I think I want to do, and how much of this is influenced by other people? I’m actually at such a loss. And this should be fine, but for some godforsaken reason I feel stuck as a result. I’m constantly anxious and second-guessing myself because I don’t know what I want to do. I spent this whole semester trying to find myself, but as a result I ended up making matters a lot worse. There are things that I know I really, really enjoy: making deep connections with people, academic validation, romance, music, sunsets, coffee, journalling, and writing. Is this enough? How do I become fulfilled knowing this?

Sometimes I think that having full control of your life is both a blessing and a curse. For someone as indecisive as me, someone who can’t even make up her mind which color is her favorite color so she says “pastels” as a cop-out, I feel as if I could literally choose to do anything, and this terrifies me. What if I’m making the wrong choices? Some people, especially those who believe in God, think that no matter what decisions we make, we will always end up in the same place regardless. Sometimes I wish I was religious so that I could have this belief. In contrast, I see every decision that I make as something that will lead me to a different future. Today, I was visiting the place that I will be working this summer and I passed by the hospital that was next to the lab. This hospital was actually where I was going to work my summer before junior year of high school, but I turned it down for a research experience. Why? Because of my dad. If I had gone with my gut, would I be somewhere else right now? Would I have gotten into the same college? Would junior year have been any different for me? Would my friends have been different as a result? Would I have met my first boyfriend? I definitely wouldn’t have met this guy at the lab who is still my friend to this day. So much could have changed just from one simple decision that I made literally 4 years ago. Thinking about the implications of this makes my head hurt.

We have so much autonomy as human beings to do whatever the fuck we want. We could shave our heads, go running naked down the street, call our exes and tell them that we still love them (lol), block everyone on social media, be rude to people we don’t like, and yet we sit in our homes complacent with where we are. I could go and attempt to rob a bank today. I would obviously fail miserably to do so, but this is still an option. Why do I feel so trapped in my life when I have the full and complete autonomy to do whatever I want? This is a debacle of the human nature. We are so lucky as creatures to have been granted consciousness and intelligence and knowledge deep enough for us to have a better understanding of the world than most others on this planet. So why do we waste this potential? Why do we, even when we know of all of the wonderful and terrible things that this world holds, remain slaves to our 9-to-5′s, never go out of our comfort zone and explore, and wonder why we are unhappy?

I wasn’t trying to make this a journal entry--I was actually going for something more profound than this, but alas, my streams of consciousness always make zero sense. Anyways, I am going to continue studying for the MCAT and go back to my silly, meaningless little life.

#personal

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ijustmightdieinbuffalo · 2 months

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I’m ready to leave some things behind

I took my nose rings out today. I’m letting my septum piercing close. It’s the end of my somewhat rebellious early twenties era of needing to prove that I’m different and edgy and cool through self expression. I don’t feel the need to show who I am through brute force anymore.

The projections put upon me don’t serve a purpose anymore. If you take time to dig deep you’ll find out that I am more complex than three pieces of rose gold jewelry shoved into my nose.

Plus, it was hard to breathe and I had to get the crusties out constantly which was annoying. It also began to feel juvenile. I see so many more decorative and intricate pieces on others I admire but for myself I’m seeking refinement.

I want quiet luxury and peace. I think that doing this symbolically with the eclipses in mind really helped me do something I’ve been holding back on, which is the fear of letting go. Who cares if the hole closes up and I change my mind. I can go back. It can be pierced again. I can Marie Kondo just about anything.

And I want to make the distinction between the choices I make of planting roots and not being “impulsive” while struggling with endless indecision on even the simplest of things. I just need to make more choices and stick to them.

So what if I have a crush on Frank. He either likes me back or he doesn’t. There will be another person whose path I will cross. I can’t control how I feel at this moment. But the endless introspection of “do I like this man” or “am I just looking for a distraction” is redundant.

I like people becuase I am a lover. I love his soft spoken voice, the way he yells when he’s frustrated and the meticulousness he has about how things should be presented at work. You can tell he loves what he does. There’s a quiet relentlessness about what he cares about and he will slave over it. He cares about his employees and genuinely may be the best manager I’ve ever had in my life. And there is absolutely nothing hotter than that.

It may be uncomfortable if I say something. But I also don’t really have to do anything about it. I can just let it ride. I don’t have to squeeze the excitement out of it too fast. I can just let it linger until it either fades, shatters, or becomes real.

I have a sneaking suspicion that there is something mutual based on the amount of eye contact I feel from him. I think he knows that he wields this power and magnetism. He uses it very acutely. I think he even knows that I like him. I think it’s unspoken. I think I like that it’s unspoken. The mystery is exciting and maybe it’s also a distraction for him.

Either way it’s human and it feels really nice to have while I try to figure out what I need to do. I’m learning to love myself a bit deeper. I still don’t feel completely safe to be loved all the way unless I’m perfect. But that’s another defense mechanism. That I can’t be loved unless I’m perfect. Unless my house is always clean and there’s no hair on my shirt. Unless my teeth are straight and white and I’m not dealing with any normal body odors. Unless my credit card debt is gone and I’m ready to start a business or buy a house.

There’s still a lot to learn and process. But I can work on changing the things I know are time to let go in order to make room for the new important parts of me. I can continue to show up for myself and build routines around physical mental and financial things that serve me day to day and add up at the end. I already am beginning to do that.

I need to dig deeper in an authentic way to myself and right now that feels like changing up everything about how I present myself. Maybe it will change who comes into my life. But I also know I don’t know how to accept love wholly and truly. So I guess for now having a crush is probably best.

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sagewordstarot · 11 months

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Please think of me if you ever want a private Tarot reading. Sage Sips' free Tarot content is fueled by private readings, memberships, and coffee (real and virtual.) Any likes, blog follows, social media follows, shares, or comments you can spare all help too! Thanks!

Well, this is interesting.

I've been doing these weekly readings for what, a couple of months now? I'd hoped this would happen, but this is the first time that a previous "growing energy" has moved through to be a "fading energy" card. That process alone is giving the Four of Swords special attention. It may be "fading" but honestly it feels more like "getting ready to maybe fade" The Four of Swords is still very much a prominent energy today, even if it isn't the ONLY energy today by any means.

I'll claim it. It's a mood.

The Four of Swords is a big energy for me right now. It was a long week at the day job and I'm glad for the holiday today. More on that later, probably on Sage's Other Words. I'm feeling my introverted, INTP aesthetic, cyberpunk, goth-ish side for some reason. Maybe pure rebellion to all of the sunny, hot weather we've had lately. I dunno.

Wherever the Four of Swords is falling into your personal energy arc - growing, strongly present, fading away, or maybe not there at all - it feels like it is asking for our attention just by virtue of showing up two weeks in a row from two different decks. This week I used the public domain Waite Smith, last week I used the Alleyman's Tarot. The four of swords look almost opposite in the two decks, but both bark up the same tree: mind, intellect, thinking, introspection, all of the rest and abide with your thoughts and feelings sort of thing. Last week the card was asking us to engage with deep thoughts, to contemplate, to contemplate contemplation if you want to get really meta about it.

This week it is more of a think things through before you act kind of vibe. The word "ABIDE" is coming to mind here. Think the thoughts and feel the feels for a little bit before jumping into action.

The two of swords typically means indecision, being of two minds about something. I've always resonated with another, less known, interpretation from Diane Morgan's excellent Tarot book Magical Tarot, Mystical Tao. No mystery why that is my favorite Tarot read ever, since it lands square in the middle of my personal wheelhouse, that liminal, Venn diagram overlap between western witchy Tarot and exoteric Taoism (meaning I follow the spiritual philosophy, not the religion)

Her interpretation is one of spiritual connection to the cosmos. The interconnectedness of everything. Oneness. Or as she put it "mystical unity" found in life. Think of the universality of the energy and the connection to the spirit and energy we talk about in Tarot. I think that is where the Two of Swords is pointing today. That connection to everything, that sense of cosmos, is a very internal, subjective, contemplative thing. If the two of swords in "mystic unity" mode is the current energy, it makes sense that the Four of Swords still seems strong because the two energies are closely related and it makes sense that the two cards would work in tandem to pull our attention to our internal world.

But in typical squirrel rave, strip your gears, 90 degree Tron-turn fashion, life switches from strongly internal to strongly external. We drop the airy, mental, esoteric swords cards right into the action side of swords and the earth element physical realm pentacles. Swords can also be associated with action (like the knight, for example) so the swords are also acting as a bridge from internal focus to real-world focus.

Even though they are nearly opposites, we begin and end with fours. I'll let you figure out the numerology of that if numerology resonates with you. My instinct is to give a shoutout to all the April birthdays out there. A diamond ring and a sparkly, rainbow-y crystal suncatcher sort of crystal window decoration comes to mind here.

With the Four of Pentacles I get "eco-warrior" "ruthless conservation" but not on a political level...it feels very personal level. I connect it with looming potential drought. Save water. Water is life. Mind your budget and your resources. Instead of hunkering down to survive a harsh winter it feels like being disciplined in order to survive a harsh summer. Dune, both the book and movie, and the discipline of the Freman people need to survive in the desert comes to mind here. If you haven't read the books, they are classic science fiction. I totally recommend them for a satisfying pool or beach read this summer.

But that's the vibe on the horizon as it stands now. Mind your budget, conserve water and energy. Hopefully this is a good sign that the collective is gearing up for Plastic Free July both the Australian non-profit AND the just plain concept of reducing your single use plastics. I have it on good authority, that the blog How to Holistic will be talking more about that sort of thing in the near future.

Long story short: contemplate, connect, do

Thanks so much for reading! Next up, more oracle dice on Wednesday if all goes to plan.

See you at the next sip!

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alsjeblieft-zeg · 1 year

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245 of 2023

What were you doing at midday today?

I was in the train to Blankenberge.

What hair style do you have atm? Are you happy with it?

Messy and a bit too long for my tastes, I don’t like it.

Do you enjoy long conversations over the phone?

No. I try to keep it as short as possible.

Have you ever had a panic attack?

Yeah, but in my case it was mostly aura before a seizure. Really unpleasant.

Tell me about your last birthday. What presents did you get? Did you do anything special to celebrate?

I got something special for my husband, got a piece of cheesecake for us both, and he took me to the restaurant. It was very nice.

Someone buys a gift for you that you don’t like, what do you do?

Regift it.

Has your best friend ever made you cry?

No, he hasn’t.

Have you ever entered a talent competition?

No, not really.

Are you indecisive?

No. It takes me kinda long because I always consider all the pros and cons, but ultimately I decide.

Do you still talk to the person you liked 6 months ago?

My husband, yes. The other guy, I don’t see very often, but he always recognises and greets me. The third one, I haven’t seen him since last year and I’m pretty sure he’s not gonna remember me.

Has anyone ever talked you into doing something you didn’t want to do?

No, I keep denying, my husband keeps trying, the circle is running.

Do you have any favorite jewelry that you always wear?

Yes, it was my wedding ring that I lost. I’m a loser lol.

Are you smiling in your facebook profile picture?

I don’t use Facebook.

Be honest, does the person you like actually deserve you? Or are they actually not worthy of your affections?

I’m rather worried I don’t deserve him.

Who will you be spending the weekend with?

My husband, like usual.

Do you remember who you had feelings for at the beginning of 2015? Do you still speak to that person? If not, why not?

Nielsje, we’re still close friends.

List 5 things that have been on your mind most recently.

Work, food, my sister’s birthday, one certain guy, Easter break.

Who were you in a relationship with last October?

I was already married.

The last person you talked to, do you know their star sign?

Yeah, Taurus like me.

Do you have a dreamcatcher?

No, I don’t.

If you’ve ever been out of your country, do you have a souvenir?

Yeah, I have souvenirs from all the countries I’ve been to.

What is better, history or science?

Both are interesting, but science is easier to learn for me.

Would you ever go on Fear Factor?

I don’t even know what it is.

Would you ever wear black lipstick? Do you know anyone who does?

I don’t wear make up.

If you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark colour or a light? And if you wear mascara, what colour is it?

Look above.

Do you combine your socks and underwear in the same drawer?

Yeah, most of the time. But on separate shelves.

#survey #q&a survey #random survey

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orlintommas · 1 year

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What is procrastination

I was planning to write about creativity, but I was so lazy this past week that I decided to go with something more pressing. Just as the heading suggests, procrastination is today’s subject. As much as I enjoy writing for you, I am writing for myself this time. The series of blog posts on procrastination is more like a letter to myself (maybe guideline is a better word).

I will be writing down what procrastination means to me and how I can overcome it. I hope to give myself indicators to watch out for that will quickly let me know when I am procrastinating so that I can quickly get myself together and fight it.

I think I used the fact that I like to work under pressure as an excuse to procrastinate. Don’t get me wrong, it has helped me so much in the past. Working under pressure has allowed me to come up with some amazing solutions and solve problems that others have spent weeks or months working on. But the main reason why I get to that stage in the first place is my procrastination. And although it has been such a rewarding exercise, it has also been super draining and uncomfortable. As the saying goes, “nothing lasts forever”.

Lately, I’ve run out of luck and I am unable to come up with solutions under pressure. Working under pressure has become crippling. I am no longer able to think straight or come up with any solutions. I feel lost and eventually end up watching a series or anime and doing nothing. This means I get nothing done and all the work is there waiting for me. Since I am unable to work, I just end up leaving the work undone.

This past week reminded me of the time when I was writing my design report. I now realise that it was not a one-off thing and that if I continue to wait till the very end to do important tasks, then the chances of me being crippled and doing nothing are very high. I need to find a way to be productive every single day and make an effort to eliminate procrastination as much as possible. I want to be able to consistently and efficiently produce quality work without having to rely on a burst of energy to solve problems (which is extremely unhealthy and highly unsustainable).

Although many would suggest that procrastination and laziness go hand in hand, that is not always the case (I am not lazy). This article explains it a bit more in detail. You can also read the article on the 4 types of procrastinators, I believe it is a good read and it helped me understand myself a bit more. I am not going to go over any of those aspects of procrastination but I think it will be helpful.

I know that there might be numerous definitions of what procrastination is. However, the one definition that most resonates with me is that “procrastination is the opposite of decision.” The appropriate term is indecision, but the answer is not so simple. According to my mini research of myself, I have discovered that indecision never operates on its own. It always has two other compadres closely lurking behind it.

"INDECISION is the seedling of FEAR!" Remember this, as you read. Indecision crystallized into DOUBT, the two blend and become FEAR.

Napoleon Hill — Think and Grow Rich.

Therefore, these three critical enemies, INDECISION, DOUBT, and FEAR, are at the heart of all my seasons of procrastination. These enemies are super dangerous because they often hide in the subconscious. They slowly grow and become stronger unobserved, making them difficult to locate and even more difficult to eliminate.

Indecision is the biggest problem I have. When I get overwhelmed with work or think that a particular task is too big and difficult, I am unable to make quick decisions or even make decisions at all. This is where the crippling effect comes in. I become even more anxious and stressed without a clear path to follow. Indecision is the key that opens up the door for the other two enemies to creep in unnoticed. These three foes never work in isolation, making them formidable and worthy opponents.

Because of my indecision, I do not know what to do next, and because I do not know what to do next, the task that seemed like “mission impossible” turns into “mission freakin’ insanity”. I randomly start collecting unnecessary data, and soon I begin to see the complexity of the problem, the skills, and knowledge I am lacking, and then doubt creeps in. Unannounced and without barely making a sound, it begins to blow everything out of proportion. Whispering sweet nothingness in my ears and polluting my thoughts with the idea of inferiority. Reminding me of my level of education, lack of finances, and inadequate knowledge to accomplish the task.

"Many things can cause us to feel overwhelmed. For some, it may be a fear of failure. Others may feel like they don’t have the time or energy to do what needs to be done. And still, others may feel like they’re not good enough or don’t deserve to succeed. Whatever the reason, the fear of feeling overwhelmed can hold us back from taking action and achieving our goals."

Timothy Presley — Procrastination.

It doesn’t take long before doubt turns to fear. Once again, without any indication whatsoever, fear takes over the wheel and ensures that I crash into a tree of hopelessness. I fear that I might fail or that I might not be able to do a good job. I fear disappointing myself or others around me, and this is not the most conducive mindset to channeling my inner genius.

The process of writing this post has really revealed to me the dangers of procrastination and, at the same time, the funny side of it. I will humor you for a second. I do not make a decision with or without a reason. Then paranoia edges me into a realm of doubt, which gives birth to fear. Once fear has stepped in, it makes me even more afraid to make decisions. That means doubt will be produced once again and fear will soon follow. The process just continues non-stop and before I know it, I’ve spent weeks without doing anything (this is just so funny to me). It is such a hard cycle to get out of. Trust me, I am speaking from experience.

If you have ever wondered what every one of us has in common (other than being human beings, of course), then the answer is procrastination. It is a common enemy that every single human has to face and overcome in order to achieve success.

#beat procrastination #overcome procrastination

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