#I’m a failure of a friend | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

officialladynoirette · 6 months

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Happy much belated birthday to my dearest @njamil21 !!! You’re own Joe on his way to save the world :’0 I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to post anything ur actual bday and I’ve just wanted to show how much I adore and appreciate you

#njamil21 #cyborg 009 #joe shimamura #gift art #I’m a failure of a friend #regardless you deserve the very best and I’m so glad to continue to have u in my life :’0

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the-broken-pen · 4 months

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“You’re going to blow out your arms,” the villain observed. They watched as the hero merely grit their teeth, shoving themself through another pull-up. It looked painful, and if the sweat slicking the hero’s brow was any indication, it was.

They waited for the hero to let themself drop from the bar and accept the villain was stronger. But they didn’t.

Three more pull-ups, and the villain stepped in.

“Hero,” they said slowly. “You’re about to tear the ligaments in your arms. You need to stop.”

The hero blew out a shuddering breath. Struggled for purchase, fighting gravity—and let themself drop.

The hero’s hands were bleeding, calluses torn open by the bar. The hero didn’t seem bothered when their own hands shook so much that their blood began to splatter on the gym floor.

For a moment, the villain could only stare at them.

Shit.

They didn’t know how to handle this. They knew the hero was dedicated. They knew the hero was strong, and perpetually trying to be stronger, but they hadn’t thought…

They hadn’t thought the hero would be so willing to tear apart their own body for success.

It was supposed to be fun, the villain thought. They felt a little sick as the hero pressed their palms together to soothe the bleeding, an action that was practiced and familiar. As if they had done this before.

The hero reached for something in their bag, smearing blood on the side, and pulled out a roll of blue electrical tape. The villain didn’t understand why, until the hero tore a strip off and made to wrap their hands with it.

The hero would be the death of them.

They crouched in front of the hero, plucking the electrical tape out of their hands.

“What are you doing with this?”

The hero blinked at the villain like they were the strange one in this situation.

“Wrapping my hands?”

The villain hissed in a breath.

“With electrical tape?”

The hero flushed slightly, looking down at their bloody hands. They looked close to tears.

“It…sticks to skin, really well. And it doesn’t move, either, when you move your hands or wherever else, even if you’re fighting. Plus, blood doesn’t make it come off, at least, not for a while.”

The villain blinked at them.”

“Blood doesn’t make it come off,” the villain repeated, processing. The hero nodded, reaching for the electrical tape. The villain settled it out of reach.

“Not if you wrap it right.”

Dimly, the villain realized that meant the hero had done this enough times to have it down to a science.

“And you couldn’t use a bandaid?” The villain asked incredulously. The hero shrugged a shoulder, then winced at the motion.

Yeah, the hero had absolutely blown out their arms.

“Bandaids move—“

The villain hushed them.

“Be quiet for a second.”

The hero, wisely, went quiet.

The villain rubbed a hand over their face, then studied the hero for a moment. They took one of the hero’s hands into their own, studying the damage.

“Why did you do this to yourself,” the villain murmured.

“What do you mean, why,” the hero snapped. “It’s my job.”

“Your job is to save people,” the villain corrected. “Not destroy yourself.”

“I’m not destroying myself—“

“You are.”

“Shut up—“

“Hero.”

“I need to be better,” the hero snapped. Their voice rang out across the gym, echoing into the rafters, and they both froze. After a moment, the hero spoke again, voice soft. “I need to be better.”

They said it like they needed the villain to understand. The villain wondered who they were really saying it to—the villain, or themself.

“Better than who?”

“Everyone.” It was hushed, like a secret.

The villain watched them, waiting.

The hero took a shaky breath

“My whole thing is being the best. I have always been the best. That’s the only reason I matter. If I’m not strong enough, then I am nothing, so I need. to be. better.”

The hero had started crying, very quietly, like they were afraid to take up too much space.

The villain was not equipped to handle gifted kid burnout.

“There’s more to you than just being a good athlete,” the villain said hesitantly, and the hero shook their head.

“No. There isn’t.”

“Hero.”

“Can you give me back my electrical tape?” They hiccuped to contain a sob.

“No,” the villain said firmly, and then the hero really was sobbing.

“You don’t understand—“

The villain didn’t. Not really. They had never been the kind of talented that the hero was.

They wondered now if maybe that was a blessing.

“I don’t,” the villain agreed. “But I do understand that you’ve saved half the city, and you give everything you have to give, and you always do your best.”

“But I-“

“No.” The villain stopped them. “You are doing your best.” They tipped the hero’s chin up until they met the villain’s eyes. “And it is enough.”

The hero froze, eyes darting over the villain’s face. They wondered if anyone had ever said that to the hero, if whatever mentor they had was giving them anything other than orders to be stronger. Be better. Be more.

The villain had some new targets to take care of, it would seem.

For now, though, they had to take care of hero.

“We’re going to go wrap your hands,” they said softly. “And then we’re going to take care of your arms, and you’re going to take a nap.”

The hero nodded, watching them like they were some kind of good, selfless person.

“And if I ever catch you using electrical tape again, so help me, I will put you six feet under.”

That startled a laugh out of the hero, and they let the villain guide them to their feet.

“Fine.”

The villain turned to them. “Okay?”

Are you going to be alright?

The hero seemed to understand.

“Okay,” the hero agreed.

Yes.

And so, it was.

#writing #writing community #snippet #angst #heroes and villains #ficlet #writblr #hero/villain #hero whumpee #exhaustion #overworked #villain caretaker #whump #kind of #in case you’re wondering. yes you CAN do this to yourself. it’s completely possible #essentially what happens is if you do a motion (a pull-up) more than your body is capable #it gets mad. this is different from training till failure. this is to failure and then beyond #so while you started using the correct muscle groups you those muscles get tired and despite the tired you don’t stop #so then your body switches to muscles it SHOULDNT BE USINF and then you fuck up your elbows (in the case of pull-ups)#and then you can’t straighten your arms for a week bc the ligaments and tendons and all the little movement parts want to keep it curled in #I’m not a doctor #I’m just a gifted kid who was an athlete who got burnt out and destroyed her body lmao #this is possibly maybe based on true events that occurred #anyways. I’m not a doctor but you can use electrical tape on wounds. yes it sticks. yes it stays. it’s honestly very useful.#electrical tape > bandaids #do not do anything listed here it is BAD. do not blow out your muscles it hurts. properly clean ur injuries. I beg you.#don’t get injured at all #thank you to my friend who went “pull-up’ competition and then watched me create this angst #love u besties. drink water. go to sleep. summon demons. ❤️ self care

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liesmultixxx · 3 months

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i’m a lot of things

but one thing i’ll never be is enough

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himejoshiwrestling · 4 months

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ok i’m calm now :)

#talking doll.vid #spartacus #agron #he’s SO CUTE AND EMOTIONALLY STUNTED AND REPRESSED #he can only allow himself to feel anger and rage and bloodlust #bc it’s easier than admitting he misses his brother !!!#it’s easier than admitting his entire family is Gone and it’s partially his Own Fault #it’s easier than admitting he wishes he was dead.#so he carves out his own river of blood in atonement #but no amount of roman death will wash away the sins of failure. of letting your brother down.#and —#donar #my beloved #the way he tries to Snap agron back. but agron is a dead man whose soul refuses to leave his body.#death isn’t good enough. bc it’s nothing compared to what agron goes through. day in. and day out.#donar was his best friend even if agron couldn’t say that.#i’m gonna vomit and puke and throw up good BYE

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chilapis · 5 days

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I love posts that are like “imagine your f/o picking you up” because they’re meant to be so sweet and gentle but every time I get picked up by a friend my brain just… shuts down. Like for whatever reason my brain physically fails to compute the situation. I cannot imagine what it would be like with Ajax

#For context I’m the shortest at my law school. Not by exaggeration; I mean ‘we have like a dozen class photos to highlight this fact’.#<- 5’0’’.#So everyone in my friend group has picked me up at least once.#Well. Almost.#The first time it happened this girl literally had a sprained arm but she kept me in the air for a good few seconds and my brain just. shut #Because it was my first time like how the fuck do you respond to that.#I just stood in place and stared at the ground for like 2 minutes after.#The most NOTABLE one was the second one because she was like. Can I pick you up. Let me pick you up.#and I was Iike have you seen yourself? no you’re going to get hurt.#she’s maybe 5’2’’? 5’3’’ only slightly taller by an inch or two.#and she’s like No I hit the gym can I pick You up. Yes or no. so I said fine but I was fully expecting failure.#and then I’m suddenly in the air.#and I was almost so borderline embarrassed after that that I stumbled and fell moments after being put down.#so like. if I have been so absolutely mind-scrambled by that I? don’t think I’ll survive.#Not even in a romantic way I think my brain would just liquify if Ajax picked me up.#Don’t ask me a single thing; don’t tell me a single thing; I’m literally useless for the entire duration of that experience.#🥀

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alwaysneedyforsir · 4 days

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spent all day in the library. still feel like i know nothing

#i stg i have no clue how to do half of the things on tmrw’s final #it’s fine i’m done after tmrw #it is what it is!!#who cares how i do bc at this point it’s fs not me #(that’s a lie i care so so much)#(i am beyond terrified of failure)#(and anything below a 90 is failure for me 🫠)#my friends think i’ll do great but uh no definitely not but thanks #going to bake tn bc i’m too stressed for anything else #anyway tn’s gym selfie hitssss #spent well over an hour at the gym n still wanted to keep moving n even wanted to go for a run n then got back home n got so so tired #but now i go bake n review for my final tmrw n then pass tf out #(hopefully before 12:30ish? fingers crossed?)#wish me luck #pretty please?#will do p much anything for good vibes n good luck to be sent my way tn n especially tmrw morning #(roughly 8:30-11:30edt if we’re being specific)#anyway!!#cookies 🍪#good god why do i write so much 🤭#me #my thoughts

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goblingirlpicnic · 2 months

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✨❤️😃Please put me down 😃❤️✨

#literally feel so gross #I think I’m just feeling extremely self conscious #idk I just feel like no matter how far I come in my transition I still haven’t reached a point where I feel like fulfilled.#there’s this like idea of the girl I should be but I feel like I can’t attain it #like I want to be this intelligent and confident woman but I can’t even make eye contact with my friends #sorry for the rant #I’m just a silly girl :3 #trans girl #Dysphoria #queer #Tgirl rotting #transexual failure #they call me the clockiest budtender

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bottomvalerius · 7 months

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Companies are already sending early “it’s your birthday!! Buy stuff!!” Emails and it’s filling me with such a strange sense of dread LMAO

#I don’t like my birthday and I have many feelings about turning 26 #I feel a wee bit like a failure and I know that’s just the capitalism talking but it’s talking man lmao #rambling #personal shit #(to be clear it is NOT my birthday yet LMAO I’m just getting promo emails)#I’ve also felt insanely alone on my birthday the past two years #my ex domme and I had a falling out last year and the year before my friends moved without telling me #so all those residual feelings are bubbling up again I think #I think especially because October I was so sick/unwell I couldn’t enjoy it at all #now I’m truly rambling in the tags LMAOOOO #THIS TIME OF THE YEAR SUCKS!!!! LMAOOO THAYS IT!

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icterid-rubus · 13 days

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😕

#scheduled my cat to be put down this Friday #don’t wanna make a post about it but I wanna talk about it #asked my mom to come with to drive me and do the talking. dad asked to come too #except he doesn’t do earnest emotions well and says really stupid and insensitive shit when people are emoting #and I will be sobbing through all this. I already am #on a zoom call with family so they can say goodbye to Chloe and he’s going on about how bad she is sees I’m trying not to cry and says #gee! I don’t think she’ll make it through this! hohoho!#I don’t want anyone to be there with me at all but I know I just won’t be able to talk to the vet and pay #really just a fucked up year. ducked up like 6 years running but whatever #really tired but I can’t sleep. don’t want to talk to people but isolated #I want Chloe’s suffering to be over but I don’t want to let her go.#meanwhile I have bumble person on discord talking to me and it feels like such a slog. I want to ghost. I’m just tired in them and having #to keep up this like essays long reply chain about the minutia of our lives that doesn’t change ever #but that also feels mean because they haven’t been pushy and have been really considerate even when they asked to meet again and I said to #hold off because of my cat and it’s been like two weeks #I haven’t been in instagram because I don’t want fish store person to ask me out #trying to get stuff done for friends baby but realized in all this mess I forgot to block anything. feel like such a failure at everything #making baby presents. keeping my cat alive. making connections #I just don’t want to be perceived at all. I feel like such a non entity #or rather I feel like I should be a non entity. a picture on the wall of a disused room.#I’m so tired.

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seafleece · 2 years

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try try your whole life to be righteous and be good

#see the thing abt my strahd is that he is a scientist and a failure #and also got fired #i just think it’s funny when you are immortal but also destined to die #my art #strahd #curse even #blood tw #dnd #it’s so fun when the party talks to him bc he’s like.#dude if i knew how to win against barov i wouldn’t have been king of this nightmare forest from my childhood for x hundred years #also #i was fully planning on letting it make me kill you so i could be powerful enough to contain it within myself #like. i’m glad it didn’t happen but that was the plan until last month #anyway. i’m trying to clean up your other messes rn. why don’t you go try killing my dragon best friend and then we’ll talk #eye strain

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gio-cosmo · 1 month

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I’m taking some community college courses soon and istg if someone doesn’t see the fandom related stickers on my laptop and immediately become my lifelong bff I’m dropping all classes idgaf

#LMFAOOO IM JOKING OBV #likeeee persona fans flock to me please #persona fans out in the wild pls be my friend 😕#“out in the wild’’ I say in reference to the college campus 💀 I’m cooked #my honest reaction as I register for college after years of claiming I’ll never go to college 🤯#LMAOOO #I woke up last month with the random realization that writing is my lifelong passion that I’ve been avoiding fully delving into—#out of fear of failure #so this is what we’re doing now ig!#“Gio what about coding and game development?’’#well unfortunately coding makes me enter a state of misery every time I attempt it #so I’m putting that on the back burner for now #I’m not giving up on it by any means!! but I enjoy writing so much that it seems more sensible for me to pursue that at the moment #ANYWAYS #sorry for always rambling on here 😭 lol #my laptop is actually coveredddd in persona / chainsaw man / genshin impact stickers I’m lowkey embarrassed #I also have an Ib sticker but I’ve never seen like anyone talk about Ib unfortunately 💔#Ib fans where are youuuu #is it unprofessional to have ur laptop covered in stickers am I cooked 😕 idk how college works like at all #I’m so fucked oh my god. LMFAOOO #mfw I lack basic knowledge #I’m trying my best over here fr 😞😞#I ALSO HAVE MIKU STICKERS #can’t forget the miku stickers ofcccc #I’m sure you’re all really invested and interested in what stickers I have on my laptop #I mean this is world altering info. really crazy stuff #💀#someone take the tag feature away from me at this point

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liyazaki · 1 year

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.

#ooo boy- a . post #i never do these #is this how this works?#ANYgay. to any of my younger friends who feel like they’re falling behind or will never catch up #it hit me today that i got everything i wanted pretty much- realized it wasn’t for me- fought against it not being for me #& now i’m basically blowing up a huge part of my life at almost 35 #it’s the weirdest feeling #it feels inevitable & like i’m finally accepting it wasn’t working #while simultaneously fighting like hell against the reality that said thing is actually ending #& feeling like a failure that i couldn’t make it work #that i couldn’t get my heart to fucking cooperate #like maybe i’m just a little broken- permanently #because most people would kill to have what i had #but it didn’t make me happy anymore #it made me feel- stuck. bitter. a version of myself i don’t like #just venting here but cut yourself some slack #take it from me: that dream of a perfect relationship- a perfect job- whatever your fantasy is #you’d be overjoyed it happened but life never stops #*you’ll* never stop- learning growing adapting changing #the proverbial finish line doesn’t exist #& sometimes what used to fit so perfectly it felt like a dream may start feeling like a straight jacket #i’m not saying don’t work at it #i’m not saying don’t try to get better- be better #but listen to that little voice #it doesn’t go away if you try to silence it #it doesn’t go away if you ignore it #because that voice? it’s you.#(reminder to self)#all that being said: everything feels awful & on fire today & i’m not saying maybe send me fun asks to distract me buuut-#will private later

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odinstits · 1 month

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Still waiting for the T to make me hot lol

#idk I have always had a weird relationship with my face. which isn’t uncommon but usually people aren’t attracted to me #and outside of one relationship after coming out nobody has ever thought of me romantically you know ???#and I have literally been told I’m ’beautiful in an unusual way’#idk maybe it’s the complete failure to mask and nobody here knowing how to be normal around trans people but I’m fighting a losing battle #(know I’m being impatient but bear with me) (have no trans friends to talk to)

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rhizomehaunt · 9 months

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never not wild to me how people are risking covid infection and resulting life long illness/disability that as a sick person I would love to exist just a day without and they’re doing it all so they can eat at a mediocre restaurant

#obviously governmental failure around public health policy means that some people genuinely do not know the risks #but this is directed at all of my former friends who ditched me as soon as biden said the pandemic is over #also being disabled/sick is not a bad thing but it is hard to live within and there’s absolutely no support for you!!!#I’m like damn would love a symptoms free day & then ppl are going for brunch playing russian roulette for which of my illnesses they’ll get

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cal-a-bungaa · 11 months

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The dog that I grew up with for 17 years is dying and I don’t know what to do.

#I can’t leave and go see her #I’m heart broken #my grandma doesn’t wanna put her down #but she had heart failure last week #she’s 17 years old #she was my best dog friend

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screaming--agony · 2 years

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Dear Diary,

I’m sorry I haven’t made a proper entry in awhile. I’ve lost interest in most things that kept me grounded. I don’t listen to music as I once did, it’s merely background noise to drown out the dark thoughts. I don’t game for fun, it merely keeps my dark thoughts at bay. I don’t respond to much of anyone, it’s short and simple. It’s not that I don’t want to talk, I just don’t know what to say. But I enjoy the brief company. I don’t have it in me to crack jokes anymore. I don’t have energy for anything. Everything feels like a job, and I do what I’m supposed to but I still feel immensely empty. Then I wonder. Do any words that spill from my lips even matter? Or is it just a stall for the inevitable?

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