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angelatmidnight1 · 3 years

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ahh great tysm! could i request a lee!octane x ler!reader where octane is blasting loud music from his room and won’t turn it down so the reader tickles him to get him to shut it off, and it ends up in a whole tickle fight between the two? thanks!!

Turn Down For What!

You are a new support Legend to join the Apex Games and are scheduled for a variety of lessons with the veterans of the game. Combat training was difficult enough, but you managed to get through it to Bangalore’s satisfaction. Now, it was time for another important lesson: picking your teammates up when they fall. Lifeline shows you the proper technique for reviving squadmates, but the lesson is interrupted by loud, blaring music coming from Octane’s room. You’d only met the speedster once or twice; he never sat still long enough to have a full conversation. You offer to go to his room to ask him to turn the music down, but not before Ajay sees you off with an interesting tidbit about him.

“Ajay…”

You cast an uncertain look at the combat medic beside you, holding the resuscitation syringe in a shaky hand. The MRVN was knelt down in front of you, animating the bleeding out effect, which only made your hands that much shakier. “I can’t...they’re gonna die…”

Lifeline shook her head and put a firm, yet comforting hand on your shoulder. “They won’t if yuh help ‘em. Remember what I told yuh to do?”

You frowned and met her eyes again, but she wasn’t backing off. So, you didn’t have a choice but to get close to the robot and help them onto their back. That was the first step. Then, you made sure that their arms were extended out by their sides to jab them with the serum. You hesitated; wouldn’t that hurt them?

Probably less than dying would. You thought, flinching a little bit when the combat medic squeezed your shoulder, urging you on. You pursed your lips and brought your hand down in one swift motion to inject the serum. At first, the MRVN flinched and reeled forward, but then they were able to grab your hand and stand up. Once they were on their feet, MRVN’s monitor flashed a smiley face, and you allowed yourself to breathe.

Lifeline smiled and nudged your arm. “See, what’d I tell ya, (y/n)? Yuh a natural doctor yuhself.” She complimented. She handed the MRVN her healing drone and a shield battery. Then, she looked at you again, her gaze serious. “I ain’t gonna lie to ya, ya gonna see a lot of bumps and scrapes once ya in the games. Even hesitatin’ for a second can determine whether ya get ya squad up or not.” She said, standing in front of you with her hands on her hips. “So you gotta get used to lookin’ at it.”

You sighed, shoulders slouching. “I know,” You admitted while rubbing the back of your neck. “I’ll get better at this.”

Lifeline scoffed. “‘Course ya are,” She answered matter-of-factly, making you arch a brow. When looked up, she was already handing you another syringe. “We gon’ keep practicing until ya feel comfortable.”

And that’s what you did. Ajay stayed by your side while you practiced reviving MRVNS. Over time, you felt more confident and got the robots to their feet more quickly. You gave the medic a huge smile, making her chuckle, but then she gestured to the robot in front of you. You looked at the MRVN, holding the syringe in a better grip, and moved to jab their arm. Well, that was until a loud guitar rift startled you, making you stick the syringe into the robot’s optic instead. The MRVN’s monitor flashed an exclamation point and you yelped, trying to correct the mistake.

“Ah, sorry! I didn’t mean to--”

Lifeline held up her hand and shook her head, sending her D.O.C. over to revive the robot instead. Then she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I swear, one of these days, Silva…”

You looked at her curiously and cocked your head to the side. “Who?” You asked. Although you had an inkling about who she was talking about, you’d never learned the Legend’s real name. He wasn’t an easy man to get a hold of.

“Octavio Silva. But ya might know him better as Octane,” Ajay explained, having to raise her voice over the music. “Boy’s gon lose his hearin’, playin’ music that loud.”

The MRVN handed the syringe back to you, and you gave it back to the medic. You had to admit, the music was really loud. You wouldn’t be surprised if the entirety of the Outlands could hear it. “I can ask him to turn it down,” You offered, putting your hands in your pockets. “That way we can continue with the lesson.”

Lifeline chuckled and shook her head. “O’s as stubborn as it gets, but if ya want to try, go ahead.” She said, nodding in the direction of his room. An idea came to her just before you could leave the medbay, and she called your name, making you turn around. “(Y/N), in case he refuses to turn it down, there’s somethin’ ya can do…”

What Ajay told you made you grin, and that grin stuck even as you approached the speedster’s door. Who knew that the fastest, most daring Legend in the Apex Games was ticklish? Welp, you did, now! You knocked on the door, not really expecting a response, but you thought it’d be polite to do it anyway. Octavio never came, most likely from not hearing it, so you let yourself in. You flinched, the sounds hitting you like tidal waves, which made you cover up your ears. In the center of the room, the adrenaline junkie was hopping from jump pad to jump pad, practicing trick shots in time with the music. You cleared your throat and called out to him.

“Octavio? Octavio!”

No luck. You rolled your eyes and walked towards him. That mischievous grin tugged at the corner of your lips as you got close, but you’d need to wait for him to land before you could get him. After another bounce, he landed back on the floor, which gave you the opportunity to tweak his side. Octane cried out and jumped away from the sudden touch. He whirled around and faced you, holding his arm against his side.

“Uh...hola? You need something?”

Since he wasn’t wearing his mask, you could read his lips, but you’d prefer to hear him. You pointed to your ears and shook your head. Octane obliged by turning his speakers’ volume down a tiny bit.

“Make it quick, I gotta get these clips uploaded so I can edit them.” Octane urged. He turned off the camera on his desk and turned to you again. His eyebrows rose. “Wait, we’ve met before. You’re new around here, right?”

You nodded, raising your voice a bit since the music was still loud. “Yeah, I’m (Y/N). We spoke a few times on the dropship.”

“Right! Well, I’m kinda in the middle of something, so we’ll have to hang out later.” Octavio chuckled, cranking his speakers back up to full volume. You flinched and hurried beside him to turn it back down.

His head snapped over to you and he grabbed the speaker. “What’re you doing?” He exclaimed, holding it just out of your reach. You huffed and tried to take it back from him. Octane, however, was much taller than you.

“It’s too loud, Octavio! Can’t you just turn it down a little--”

“Psh, no! I’m listening to this.”

You groaned and hopped up towards the speaker, missing it by inches. “Half of the ship is listening to it! Just turn it down, please?” You insisted. Instead of complying, Octane put the speaker on a shelf that was far out of your reach, and you weren’t skilled on using his jump pads yet. You narrowed your eyes and poked his side again, making him gasp.

“I’ll turn it down in a sehehecond!” He snapped, making a poor attempt at stifling his chuckles. You poked him again, making him yelp and make a grab for your hands, which you dodged by jabbing him in the stomach instead. “Stohop! Why ahare you poking me?”

You smiled and held out your hands, wiggling your fingers tauntingly. “Because Ajay told me that you weren’t gonna turn it down, and that I can tickle you if you refuse!” You chirped. Your smile turned into a cheeky grin when the speedster wrapped an arm against his torso, which only encouraged you to get closer. “So let me ask you again, Octavio, will you turn the music down?” You arched an expectant brow at him and managed to back him into a corner. The speedster shook his head, poised to defend himself.

“NooOOOO---”

That’s all you needed to hear to lunge at him. He managed to catch you and hold you by the arms before you could knock him over. You, however, had combat training with Anita earlier in the day, and you put that training to good use. You stuck your leg out and hooked it around his, pulling it towards you. This made him lose his balance and fall like a sack of potatoes. You cheered victoriously, shaking his hands off, and worked to get his arms pinned down.

Octavio grunted and pushed your shoulders, unknowingly freeing up the sweet spot that Lifeline mentioned. “Stop! Seriously, I have things to doOOOOHOHOHOHOHO! NO! GEHEHET OHOHOHFF!”

You’d buried your hands underneath his arms and wiggled your nails along his armpits. He slammed his arms against his sides and burst out laughing. Now, you weren’t sure which was louder: him, or the music.

“I know you have stuff to do!” You laughed, drilling your nails into the center of the armpits. He responded by arching his back and letting out another scream of laughter. “At the top of your list should be turning down the music...right?”

“I’M NOHOHOHT TUHUHURNING IHIHT DOHOHOHWN!” The speedster fired back. He hugged his arms even tighter against his sides when you tickled at an even faster pace. He even made the attempt to buck you off, but you were straddling his waist, and just had to lean forward to counter his weight. You narrowed your eyes and opened your mouth to respond, but were interrupted by something thumping at your waist. You looked down at your belt and beamed; you still had some medical tape on you, courtesy of Lifeline. Your hands were trapped by his arms though, and you only had one way to free them.

In one swift motion, you ducked down and blew a raspberry into Octavio’s exposed stomach. He writhed against the floor, laughing even harder, but he still didn’t loosen his hold on your hands.

“AAAH! STAAHAHAHAHAHAP! DOHOHOHOHN’T TIHIHICKLE MEHEHEHE!” He demanded through his fits of laughter. He squealed when you blew another one, just above his belly button, and bucked his hips repeatedly. “DOHOHOHOHOHN’T!”

“Huh?” You glanced up at him and cocked your head to the side. He panted heavily, a grin still etched onto his face, which only made you smirk. “Sorry, I missed what you said. What don’t you want me to do?”

The speedster was still plagued by giggles and had to reel them in before answering you. “I sahahaid stohohop tihihickling mEEEEE--”

Instead of letting him finish, you took a deep breath and blew a huge raspberry over his belly button. Octane bucked violently and shrieked, the wild laughter immediately following suit.

“NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!”

His laughter was contagious and you found yourself laughing along with him. “Oh, were you still talking?” You teased, wiggling your trapped fingers back against his armpits. He cried out with laughter and kicked his metal legs against the floor, prompting you to tickle even faster. Finally, he released your hands during another attempt to push you away. Then, like clockwork, you seized his wrists with one hand and held them above his head. He yelped and squirmed, protesting the entire time, but his fate was sealed...literally. You’d managed to tape his wrists down on the floor and clapped your hands together.

“There, that’s better!” You smiled, putting your hands out in front of you. You wiggled your fingers again and snickered when he paled. “Now, where were we?”

For someone used to moving at trailblazing speeds, everything happened so fast for Octavio. One minute, he’s vibing with his music and jump pads, and now he’s pinned on the floor, laughing his head off? You’d already confirmed that all of this was basically Lifeline’s doing, and she was well overdue for some good ole revenge.

Hermana, you are so dead. He seethed, snapping out of his thoughts when your hands lowered towards his armpits. He panicked; now wasn’t the time for plotting. He had to get away!

“No, no, no! Wait, (Y/N)! Dohohon’t tickle my armpits, plehehease!” He pleaded, preemptively giggling and trying to curl in on himself. You grinned and held your hands so that they were just touching his armpits, sending ticklish jolts up and down his arms. “I juhst wahahant to listen tohoho my music!”

“I never said you couldn’t! I just need you to turn it down.” You repeated, pressing your fingertips into the exposed pits. He squealed and arched his back as high as he could, making you laugh again. “You gonna do it or what?”

Octavio blabbered out something, attempting to bargain with you, but that’s not what you were there for. You tsked and gently scritched circles around each armpit. As much as you wanted to dig into them, you wanted to drag this out as long as possible. The speedster snorted, giggling uncontrollably, and uselessly pulled against the tape.

“Ahahahahaha! Nohohoho, por fahahavor!” He yelped, bucking his hips when you poked at the center of the armpits. You squealed, almost losing your balance, but then you sat back on his waist and continued the gentle scratching. “Lehehet mehehe lihihisten to my music!”

“Will you turn it down?”

Octane’s head snapped up to you; you were stubborn. If he wasn’t giggling up a storm, he’d tease you about Ajay rubbing off on you already. He shook his head and yelped again when you grabbed his sides. You pinched them, making the poor man yip and snicker, and earned a bark of laughter when you stroked along his rib cage.

“Iiii—heheheheh--nohohoho I wohohon’t!”

“Wrong answer~.” You sang, swiping your nails against each sensitive rib. He arched his back, swearing in Spanish, only to fall back down and continue giggling.

“Stahahahahahahap!” He whined, tossing his torso from one side to the other, which didn’t do anything to stop you. You ignored the plea and scratched up higher, teasing his center most ribs, which made him gasp and kick. “AH! Noohohoho nohohoho, nohohot thehehere!”

“Not where?” You asked innocently, opting to poke at the ribs on either side. You alternated the pokes to keep him guessing and giggled at his high pitched squeaks.

“THEHEHERE!” He yelled when you suddenly honed in on his ribs and scribbled along them like there was no tomorrow. He tried to flip onto his side, buck you off, anything to get you to stop tickling. But you easily kept up with all of those fruitless attempts. “AHAHAHAH!”

You smirked, pressing your fingertips into the spot. You drew little circles into his skin, laughing when he threw his head back. “Here?” You repeated, fluttering the tickles from one side of his rib cage to the other. He nodded frantically, drowning in desperate giggles, but you pressed on.

“Oh,” You continued, still smirking. “Cause I was sure you meant here…”

You walked your fingers up towards his armpits at a slow, slooow, pace. Octavio jolted and squirmed violently, his protests lost in his laughter, and his wrists straining against the tape’s hold. He was basically cackling by the time you got to where his armpits started, but you didn’t attack yet. You just held your hands there, snickering at the panicked laughter pouring out of him already.

“What’re you laughing for?” You grinned, flexing your fingers, but still not moving. Octavio screamed, arching his back, only to fall victim to another fit of giggles.

“Plehehehehease…” He begged. He held his arms rigidly and met your eyes, which just made you smile more.

“Please what? I’m not doing anything, Octavio.”

He groaned and opened his mouth to respond, but you didn’t let him. Instead of attacking both armpits, you only attacked his right one, while your free hand scratched at his sensitive stomach. Octavio’s eyes bugged out and his desperate giggles spiked to loud, hard laughter.

“NOO--AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OKAHAHAHAHAHAY!”

You perked up while dragging a finger around his belly button. He screamed again and thumped his head against the ground, wildly shaking his head. “Okay?” You repeated, dipping your finger inside his belly button and scratching around. The wail of laughter initially startled you, but you kept on scratching anyway. “Okay what?”

“I’LL TUHUHUHRN IT DOHOHOHWN! STAHAHAHAHAHAP!” He yelled. He sucked in his stomach and drummed his legs back against the floor the more you kept scratching. You grinned, feeling triumphant...but you were having too much fun to stop!

“Yeah? You promise?” You chuckled, jabbing a finger into his right armpit while you continued to tickle his belly button. He flinched and nodded over and over, finally falling into hysterics, and then silent laughter when you dug into both armpits. You slowed down the tickling to give him the opportunity to breathe.

“Y-Yehehehes...I prohohohmise…” He panted. You didn’t notice that the tape holding his wrists down was coming undone, so you felt perfectly comfortable in pushing your luck. You took your hands off of him and brought a hand up to your chin, pretending to think.

“Hmm, alright, Octavio. I guess that’s good enough,” You began, putting your hands down at either side of him. Octane breathed a sigh of relief, believing that you were about to climb off of his waist, but you pinched his hip bones instead. He gasped and reeled to the side, but then you did it again, and again, and again, until he was snickering all over again.

“Hehehehehy! Whyhyhy ahahahre yohuhuh--” The speedster yelped when you used all ten fingers to tickle his belly. He cackled, but hadn’t fully recovered yet, so he didn’t have as much energy to squirm. “WHYHYHYHY TIHIHIHCKLE MEHEHE AGAHAHAIN?!”

“Because it’s fun!” You laughed, ducking down to blow another raspberry over his belly button. Octavio howled and laughed even harder. “Haha, Ajay was right. You are way too ticklish for your own good.”

Now he had two people to get revenge on. And, through a stroke of luck, he was about to serve you your just desserts. Why?

Because when he arched his back to try to get you off of his stomach, the tape split with a resounding riiiiip. You froze, looking up towards the sound, and gasped loudly.

“Oh shit--”

Octavio having his hands freed gave him a burst of energy, and he used that energy to take you down. He sat up and grabbed your arms, making you swear again, and you pushed your shoulder into his chest.

“No! No no, truce! AHHH--!”

Octane far outmatched you in terms of strength, and he easily wrestled you to the ground. He pinned your arms underneath his legs and immediately went for your sides.

“Oho, not funny anymore, is it?” The speedster ridiculed, his wiggling fingers a blur as he scratched up and down your sides. You let out a screaming laugh and tried to sit up, but he was too heavy.

“NOHOHOHOHO!” You hollered, arching your back when he reached under your shirt and scritched at your bare stomach. “AHAHAHA! STOHOHP! I WAHAHAHS KIHIHIHIHDDING!”

Octavio scoffed and used one of his hands to dig into your left hip, continuing to tickle your belly. “Well, I’m not! I’ll show you what happens when you tickle me, amigo/a!” He quipped, snickering when you threw your torso against the ground. He kept switching spots at an alarmingly fast pace: your stomach, hips, sides, even knees. It didn’t give you a chance to resist the sensation and kept you guessing as to where he’d strike next...which proved to be pretty difficult.

“OCTAHAHAHAVIO!” You shouted, the panic dropping on you when he honed in on two of your worst spots: your knees and your stomach. You shrieked and kicked your legs against the floor, which was annoying him, so he opted for laying over your legs to hold them down. “PLEHEHEHEASE STAHAHAP! I’M SOHOHOHOHOHRRY!”

“Stop? Me?” The speedster snorted and alternated the squeezing along your knees. You howled with laughter and desperately pulled at your trapped wrists, but he wouldn’t budge. “Haven’t you heard, (Y/N)? There’s no breaks on the Octrain!”

When he reached under your knees to tickle the skin there, your laughter was louder than anything coming out of the stereo. Since your left knee seemed more sensitive than the right, he focused on that one exclusively, and reached behind him to poke at your stomach. It tickled so bad, and he wasn’t showing any signs of slowing down. So, as a last resort, you decided to cry out for your mentor.

“AJAHAHAHAHY!” You shrieked, jerking to the side when he pinched at the top of your knees. “I NEHEHEED HEHEHEHLP!”

Octane cringed and stopped tickling you, glancing at the door. He half expected the doctor to be standing there, waiting to pounce, but she wasn’t. You breathed heavily and laid your head back on the ground, grateful for the distraction. While he wasn’t paying attention to you, you tested the grip he had on your arms, and were surprised to find that you could move them slightly. You took a breath and managed to pull one of them free before the speedster turned back to you. Without a second thought, you squeezed his side, making him yelp and topple over.

“AH! Noohohoho yohuhu dohohohn’t!” He laughed and gripped the free arm, forgetting about the other one until you pulled it free. You poked his ribs and hopped back on him, drawing out the tickle fight that much longer. Ajay could hear the commotion from the medbay, but all she did was smile and prepare for your next lesson.

I hope this was to your liking anon! This was my first reader insert fic. Please let me know with you think. If you don't like it, I can try to rewrite it.

#apex legends #apex legends tickle fic #octane #octane apex legends #octavio silva #ticklish!octavio #ticklish!octaviosilva #ticklish!silva #ticklish!reader #lifeline apex legends #lifeline #ajay che #ticklish!octane #apex legends x reader #octane x reader #octavio silva x reader

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crimefightingspiderguy · 3 years

Text

marry me

Summary: Shang-Chi and (Y/N) are best friends, but it's not enough. They want to be more, but can they be more?

Warnings: Angst? No spoilers for Shang-Chi and the Legend of the the Ten Rings, just one reference to the movie but it's not a spoiler.

Pairings: Shang-Chi x platonic!reader

Word Count: approx. 2,423

A/N: I based this off the song Marry Me by Thomas Rhett. Go give it a listen, it's a great song! I want to make more fics for Shang-Chi that aren't as angsty as this, but I wanna wait until more people have seen Shang-Chi so I can include scenes from the movie. Hope you enjoy this ❤️

“She wants to get married; she wants it perfect”

“So, when are you two getting married?” Your grandmother asked as she pointed between you and Shang-Chi.

You spit up your water, “Nana, we’ve been over this. Shaun and I are just friends.”

“Then why do you have a scrapbook in your room titled ‘My Dream Wedding’ if you don’t plan on getting married.” She sassed her granddaughter.

This isn’t the first time she had asked us if we were together. Every time (Y/N) just brushed it off as her being old and stuck in her ways. But this is the first time that I’ve heard of this scrapbook. “A scrapbook? This I have to see.” I grinned at (Y/N), her faced flushed and you could basically see the wheels in her mind working up an excuse as to why her nana had said that. But she couldn’t think of any.

“Nana, what did I tell you about snooping?” (Y/N) turned to scold her.

“What? I’m old and have nothing better to do. It has some very beautiful ideas. Have to both worked out the details or are they all your plans dear?”

(Y/N)’s face turned a deep red as I burst out in laughter. “Come on (Y/N), I have to see this” I held out her hand to bring her to her bedroom.

“Look, I’ve been planning my wedding since I was little, okay? I just want to let you know this isn’t some creepy shrine for you and me or something like that.” She said as she hesitantly took the book down from her top shelf above her bed frame.

“Oh, don’t worry, I KNOW this is a dedication to me and our love. You don’t have to hide it.” I chuckled as she punched my arm and gave me a threatening look.

“So basically, I have pictures that I’ve cut out from magazines or printed off from TV shows that I watch with my Nana that I think would go well with my overall theme.”

“She wants her granddaddy preach in the service”

“I originally was going to have my Papa do the service, but that was before he passed last year.” She looked down at the picture of him that she cut out and tapped down at the end of a poorly drawn alter. She put on a sad smile and sighed, “Hopefully by the time I do get married Nana is still around and I can get her ordained online. Then she can speak for both of them.”

“I’m sure she would love that.” I put a hand on her back to sooth her. She was the closest with her grandfather. Since her parents passed away in a car accident when she was young, they were all she had and he spoiled her rotten. Nana warned him not to let her turn too spoiled, they didn’t want her being a brat. But he assured her that he was just showering her with love. I couldn’t help but understand now why her grandfather would go through such trouble to make sure she felt loved. She is worth it.

“And she wants magnolias out in the country”

“I want to have the ceremony outside, have the alter be surrounded by magnolia trees.” She turned the page to pictures of roads and sidewalks lined with magnolia trees, beautiful shades of pink and white blooming across the page.

“Why magnolias?” I remember her telling me years ago that her favorite flower was a white rose, so I thought that she would for sure have those.

“They were my mother’s favorite.” She smiled, “If I’m going to have a ceremony where I’m bringing someone into my family, I want them all there. Even if it’s just in spirit.” She chuckled as she pointed to the single picture of her mother with a crown of magnolias on her head, spinning around in the sun. “I would always make her flower crowns of them, and I think that’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her.”

“I think that her seeing you on your wedding day would’ve made her even happier.” I say, hoping to reassure her. I never met her mother or father. They were gone before I even came to the US. But when I met her, she had this spark in her still, I imagine that it’s the spark she got from her mother. The same spark she seems to have in this photo.

“Not too many people, save her daddy some money”

“So, how are you planning on paying for all this? I mean, realistically a job valeting cars won’t get you far.” I was hoping to try to get her to change the subject so she wouldn’t get too upset looking through this book.

“My daddy left me his savings in his will. My Nana and Papa saved it for when I went to college, but I got enough scholarships I didn’t need it. So, I figured I’d save it for my wedding or buying a house.” She shrugged, “Like I said, I want all the people important to me with me that day. But I will have to have a smaller ceremony because it’s not that much money he’s left. I think I’d invite family and the few close friends that are like family.”

“She got it all planned out. I can see it all right now. I’ll wear my black suit, black tie, hide out in the back.”

“Of course, I’ve made sure you’ll be on the guestlist.” She flipped the next page and pointed to the picture of me and her on prom night our senior year. I’m in a black suit and tie, she had a soft blush pink dress that flowed down to the floor with white magnolias in her pinned-up hair. This was the first time I was able to really picture it all. Not just looking at pictures, but what it would look like as I walked around the place myself. I can see myself hiding in the back as we get ready for the ceremony to start, making some last-minute adjustments to my suit. Making sure my hair looked okay.

“I’ll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask. I’ll try to make it through without crying, so nobody sees.”

I’d probably have to take a shot to ease my nerves. I wonder if I’d be one of those people who would cry as soon as she walked down the aisle.

“This is the dress that I want.” Her voice pulled me out of my thoughts, she showed me a dress that would fit her perfect. It was flowing but puffy. She had a long train and lace accents all over. She would look like a princess. I can see her perfectly in the dress, and not just because she cut a photo of her head out and taped it over the model of the dress, but because I think it is exactly the type of dress, I would expect her to wear. This answers my question, I would definitely be the first one to cry as I saw her walking down the aisle.

“It’s perfect. You’ll look perfect.” I whisper to her. I could see her holding onto my every word. Like she wanted to hear nothing more than those words. I slowly moved my hand from her back up to her cheek and cupped her face. “Everything is perfect.” I tell her. Her skin lights up under my touch, as if it’s a flame setting fire to her body.

“Yeah, she wanna get married. But she don’t wanna marry me. I remember the night when I almost kissed her. I kinda freaked out, we’ve been friends for forever. And I’d always wonder if she felt the same way.”

I’ve never wanted to kiss her more than right now. I’ve thought about it before, but never needed it like I do right now. She started to lean in, eyes fluttering shut. It’s now or never. But something stopped me. I don’t know if it was my nerves, or if it was just too much all at once, imagining us get married, but I just couldn’t do it. She felt me pull away and stopped herself, she shot her eyes open and realized that she read the situation wrong. But she didn’t read it wrong, I just chickened out. I’ve wanted this since the day I met her, but it was just too scary. What if we ended up breaking up and hating each other? She was too important for me to lose.

She just cleared her throat and acted as if nothing happened, turning the next page of her scrapbook.

“When I got the invite, I knew it was too late. And I know, her daddy’s been dreadin’ this day. Although he don’t know he ain’t the only one givin’ her away.”

I woke up to the sound of my alarm, turning over to shut it off I felt the paper I had cried over last night. An invite to (Y/N)’s dream wedding. After the night when she showed me her scrapbook, she seemed to become distant. I don’t know if it’s because we almost kissed and I seemed to reject her, or if she just got too busy with her new boyfriend, but it broke my heart more and more every day until I was just numb. That was 3 years ago, now she had moved on and found someone who wasn’t afraid to grow up and commit to her.

I’d been to see her Nana a couple times after she had started dating him and she scolded me just as I had scolded myself.

“You know, I was really hoping it would’ve been you. You would’ve been perfect together.” She shook her head in disappointment as I helped her in the kitchen while (Y/N) and her boyfriend set the table in the dining room. “I don’t like him as much as I like you.” She sighed and went back to chopping her tomatoes.

“No one’s more disappointed than I am Nana.” I looked down at my hands, feeling empty without hers in them.

“I’ll wear my black suit, black tie, hide out in the back. I’ll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask. I’ll try to make it through without cryin’ so nobody sees. Yeah, she wanna get married, but she don’t wanna marry me.”

“Hey, did you get the invite?” (Y/N) called me shortly after I’d woken up, knowing when my alarm was set for.

“Yeah.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“I know that we haven’t been… the closest lately… but I hope you’ll still come. Afterall you’re in the scrapbook.” She chuckled, hoping she could bring me around to the idea of going. She still didn’t know why I’d distanced myself from her all these years. I can imagine I’ve hurt her, but I only hurt myself every time I see her with him, so I had to do it. “I asked Sam if he’d be willing to make you a best man, since I can’t have you as a bridesmaid. He said of course you could be. It really would mean the world to me if you would.”

While I wanted to be nowhere near Sam, helping him celebrate his wedding day with the love of my life, I wanted nothing more than to be there for her. No matter how she wanted me there.

“Of course, I’ll be a best man. I wouldn’t miss your wedding if the world was ending.” I smiled through the phone, knowing she wouldn’t see just how broken it was.

“Ah! Yay! I was hoping you’d say yes! I can’t wait to tell him. I’ll talk to you later, love you.”

I hung up before I could say anything back.

The day of her wedding came sooner than I’d hoped. It was a beautiful spring wedding with the pink magnolias surrounding the alter in full bloom. I was in a black suit and tie with a flask of whiskey hidden in my coat pocket. I was in the back helping Sam make his last preparations when I saw her.

“But she got on her dress now, welcomin’ the guests now. I could try to find her, get it off of my chest now.”

She was stunning. The sun shining off her in the most perfect way. She was out greeting guests before the ceremony started, in her reception gown, saving the real gown for later when no one would see. Even in this substitute dress I couldn’t help dropping my jaw when she turned my way. She came over to me and threw her arms around me. “I know I’m supposed to be getting ready, but I couldn’t wait to see you.” She whispered in my ear. God did I miss her.

“(Y/N), there’s something I want to tell you.” I start to work up the courage. It was now or never.

“But I ain’t gonna mess this up, so I wish her the best now. I’m in my black suit, black tie and out in the back. Doin’ a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask. I’ll try to make it through without cryin’ so nobody sees. Yeah, she wanna get married. But she don’t wanna marry me.”

“Yeah Shang-Chi?” She looked up at me as she pulled away from me. She looked so perfect. I just wanted to tell her everything on my chest and run away from all this with her. Live happily ever after. But this is real life, this is a wedding she’s planned out since she was a kid. She wants it to be perfect. I can’t take that from her.

“Everything is perfect. You look perfect.” I force a smile as she grins and giggles at me.

“You’re so dramatic, but I love that about you.” She kissed my cheek and told me she’d save me a dance as she went back to her dressing room to finish getting ready.

I pulled the flask out of my jacket and took a strong swig. Sam was calling me over to get in line at the altar.

Bridesmaids one through four walked down the aisle carrying bouquets of pink magnolias. She followed them up in her beautiful gown, straight out of her scrapbook. A bouquet of white roses with pink magnolias blossomed out of her hands. She absolutely took my breath away, but it wasn’t me she was marching towards.

Find more of my work here.

My work is exclusively posted on Tumblr by me, on this blog. If you see my work posted elsewhere, please reach out to me.

Thank you, xx.

#shang chi x reader #shang chi and the legend of the ten rings #shang chi #shang chi fanfic #mcu x reader #marvel fanfiction

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marginal-notes · 3 years

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TLOK Episode One a.k.a. Korra immediately goes on a rampage

So, as mentioned, I’m finally getting around to watching The Legend of Korra with all of my terrible tastes and general thoughts.

Don’t give me spoilers, my indignation will be funnier without them.

What I Know About Korra Going In:

If the show can have all of Aang’s bending teachers still around for the audience’s nostalgic pleasure, Suki better be alive and kicking too or I am going to throw a fit

Technology progressed pretty intensely in ways that I will want to pick apart later

Listen, what the fuck is Republic City. Why. Why does this exist. Show you better answer me fast with why this exist for a legitimate in world reason that isn’t just: “The audience is a bunch of American kids and teenagers and we want to uphold the liberal ideals of democracy because of course that’s the motives of the victors after a global war of probably unprecedented scope despite like, Zero (0) indication that the idea of democracy was rattling around anyone’s heads in ATLA.”

If this is the reason, I’m going to quit watching. Disgraceful. Disgusting.

Something involving anti-bender sentiment.

Something involving something called the Red Lotus which I am side-eyeing the shit out of

Bloodbending?????

Spirit World shenanigans and Avatar backstory that’s on thin ice with me.

Love triangles. UGH. TERRIBLE. WHY DOES MEDIA DO THIS. WHO FINDS THIS INTERESTING. PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND SO YOU CAN EXPLAIN TO ME.

Alright, here we go.

WELL, 30 SECONDS IN AND I GOT MY WISH FOR AN EXPLAINATION ABOUT REPUBLIC CITY.

Avatar Aang and Fire Lord Zuko transformed the Fire Nation colonies into the United Republic of Nations, a society where benders and nonbenders from all over the world could live and thrive together in peace and harmony.

Okay. I’m.... I’m going to withhold judgement for now until I watch like, literally more than 30 seconds to fully form my thoughts about this move. I THINK IT’S A DUMB MOVE AND IF THIS IS WHY PEOPLE KEEP HAVING FIRE NATION DEMOCRACY FICS I QUIT.

So. We get a panning shot into this city. Very urban city that’s the product of the industrialization and like whatever the hell that propaganda voice over is talking about.

As a method of setting the scene and immediately letting the viewers feel and know the passage of time between ATLA and TLOK, I love this shot. There’s no mistaking this for being immediately after ATLA. We’re listening to one of Aang’s kids. There are skyscrapers. The Fire Nation palace in ATLA probably counted towards the architectural development towards urban skyscrapers, but that architecture is fully formed by TLOK. Brilliant.

I'm the Avatar! You gotta deal with it!

What a cute brat. Her poor parents, oh my god.

Also, is she supposed to be a prodigy.

Again with immediately setting contrasts against ATLA. Very cool demonstration, extremely effective distinction between Aang’s journey around the world trying to find teachers and learning how to bend in the middle of a war vs. Korra at peacetime with a whole entire facility dedicated to her.

Not sure about how I feel regarding the White Lotus’s presence.

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE KATARA????

That's your grandmother, Meelo.

Does he not visit his parents. It can’t be that hard to swing by for like. Yearly festivals if the Water Tribe has those. I don’t see why not. Maybe something for when the winter night ends, I can see that being festive.

Tenzin do you like. Not call? Not write?? Sir???

Oh my god, Pema. I hope she really likes kids, despite how rowdy they are.

Wait. How old is Tenzin. Thirties to forties?

How old is Katara.

Is this going to be a repeat of the Fire Nation royal miracle babies.

I get that, but I don't think keeping me locked up in this compound like a prisoner is what he had in mind.

Going by the episode title, I bet we know what Korra has in mind. Speaking of this compound, where’s the Southern Tribe? The aerial shots look like it’s in the middle of nowhere. Is she so far removed that she doesn’t even spend time with the tribe she was born into? Cause that sure as hell wasn’t how Aang was raised.

Honestly fascinating as these contrasts keep coming. The bizarre presence of the White Lotus. The way her teachers come to her instead of her seeking her teachers the way Aang and Roku did.

The Avatar must have always been a special political figure, without any good contemporaries to our world, to be honest. Back in ATLA, we see that Roku isn’t beholden to Fire Nation citizenship - he seems to transcend that. And it honestly seems important that Roku and Aang went out to the world, experienced the other nations and their ways of life. I think Aang does have a line regarding this.

Because Korra’s situation? Can easily turn into a nightmare, given the realities of what being the Avatar could easily mean.

OKAY THIS SHIP. Very cool looking, very neat, I continue to love every visual manifestation of the passage of time between ATLA and TLOK. One small question. What’s with the rigging poles.

(source)

To be fair, this is a battleship from the British navy, but aesthetically I think we can say this is a fair inspiration. From what I remember while researching the coal fic, the rigging and poles there serve no function. It’s aesthetical. At best, there’s a limited function, but it’s predominantly for aesthetics in the transition into the ships like the Titanic with no rigging at all.

Which raises my question about WHY ON EARTH?? The Fire Nation navy in ATLA??? Were clearly way past this stage in design? Literally during Sozin’s time too??? Almost two hundred years before this current shot in TLOK? Why would the ship design regress like this??? The Water Tribe ships probably wouldn’t evolve into the designs that Europe used? Earth Kingdom ships would probably be more inspired by East Asian designs which also wouldn’t end up with this system for sails?

Where does this aesthetic come from.

IS THAT A CAR.

....

.......

..........

I am not qualified at all for dissecting the potential social and cultural explanation for the western influenced aesthetics appearing. I am but an ignorant banana, I don’t know shit.

.......

oooooooh this is going to slowly annoy me isn’t it..........

That will be twenty yuans.

[Jaws theme]

The city's huge. I bet we could find a place to rustle up something to eat.

You know, I’ve seen plenty of weird shit in Central Park and around NYC before. Korra, you are so unprepared.

Are you tired of living under the tyranny of benders? Then join the Equalists!

Oh boy. Let’s.... let’s put a pin in this thought. I’ll come back to it once I know more about what’s going on. Because. This will either be fun. Or I’m going to have to create a second spite fic folder. Please, show, don’t give me reason to create a second spite fic folder.

On a different note though, I really do love the choices so far for setting up this show’s forward path. There’s no way to mistake this as a rerun of ATLA. This is it’s own separate story and I love that. I really do respect that. The way the different threads are emerging feel really smooth: 1) the impact of Korra’s isolation towards her culture shock in the giant city - which must smell and sound REALLY weird to her; 2) her prodigious talent in the physical, exciting parts of bending meshing with her teenage nature and also clashing with the spiritual parts of being the World Bridge; 3) the absolute hot bed of chaos every part of Republic City must be.

Kinda funny that people would still have sideburns in the same style as from like. Seventy years ago. Vintage.

Mr. Chung, please tell me that you have my money, or else I can't guarantee I can protect your fine establishment.

My terrible taste in interests rears its head again. Listen, you cannot imply something like the mafia or the triads exist in universe and not have me immediately ALL OVER THAT. Republic City, you are such a mess. Like, for this alone, I might write a single fic for TLOK that’s just about trash collection and disposal. And corruption. And-

I am fascinated by the genetics and molecular/cellular biology behind the yellow and white eyes in this universe.

Police! Freeze where you are!

Bitch what the fuck. How many of these rigid airships are part of the police. Are all of them for the police? Are the police literally patrolling people from the sky?

Also, that better be helium in those ships instead of hydrogen by this point in time. I’ve already made my post about the fleet of hydrogen ships in Sozin’s Comet.

How much property damage is being inflicted thanks to these couple minutes. The police just. Stab the brick work. There have got to be so many bitchy lawsuits about that.

This poor girl’s culture shock.

HEY I HOPE THAT POLICE OFFICER SWUNG THEMSELF ON A CLOTHLINE, NOT AN ELECTRIC LINE LIKE I FIRST THOUGHT.

HEY YOU CAN RIP SOMEONE’S SCALP OFF LIKE THAT.

HEY WHAT IS WITH THIS WHOLE SCENE.

HOW ARE THEY JUST RIDING ON THOSE WIRES, HOW MUCH TENSION IS IN THAT STUFF.

HOW DOES THAT ZEPPLIN MOVE THAT FAST AND LIKE. AGILE.

YALL.

WHY DOES THE POLICE STATION LOOK LIKE THAT

Well then, why are you treating me like a criminal? Avatar Aang and your mother were friends. They saved the world together.

Oh this bit is fascinating, I love it. It’s only been 18 minutes, but the level of sheer propaganda everywhere trailing after Aang is really cool. There’s so much I want to know now about how Aang got from the end of ATLA, where he probably wasn’t thinking AT ALL about this kind of cult legacy forming around him, to this.

Lin Beifong’s shut down of Korra’s attempt to use her status as Avatar is great. Just because Korra’s born into this elite role and then locked up and probably pampered in her compound, where everyone is well aware of her status and what it means, it doesn’t mean she gets to strut around with no idea how stuff works or the context behind what she’s seeing and then doing whatever she wants.

Contrasts, love ‘em.

On a different note, the design of this room.

As far as I can tell, it’s a dim, doorless room, which is honestly. Really terrible design. And it says something about the way the Republic City police functions and how that reflects on the chaos of the city itself.

Putting someone dragged into the police station in a dim room without any door as a sign of a possible escape is just a terrible idea. The only thing you’re going to succeed in is making the person tenser and more belligerent. Your suspect or witness gets more nervous, gets more combative, gets more unreliable in this kind of environment. In turn, the police probably starts feeling more and more entitled to harsher retaliation. Conflict resolution? De-escalation? That really doesn’t look like its in the core of the city police. They’re wearing armor for god’s sake.

Everything so far in this first impression of the police is really damning about their attitude and Lin Beifong’s leadership. Rather than using a rappel line down from the airships, they damage buildings. In chasing Korra, they further damage property. The armor, this freaking room. The fact that so much about the active police shown so far depends on metalbending, which implies that very few people can join the field police. The fact that for the gang to be so blatantly in the open about their presence and territory, there must be dirty cops on their payroll.

There has to be so much Lin Beifong hate in this city.

I have done my best to guide Republic City toward the dream my father had for it, but you're right. It has fallen out of balance since he passed.

If anyone tries convincing me Republic City was ever in “balance” they’re a punk ass liar. I don’t think the city could have ever been in balance, whatever that is. The way it was created, the speed it expanded, the life that must be lived there - balance? Don’t kid me with that propaganda.

Tenzin could be trying to find a balance alright. I just wonder how many people vehemently disagree with his idea of balance.

Hello? I'm Korra, your new Avatar.

Well, TLOK is definitely in the era of mass distribution of news and the idea of public sentiment at a level never seen before. This is going to be very interesting for its populist implications, along with other developments regarding politics.

Oh Korra. Did no one try rehearsing this with you? This is a terrible first impression for you to give to people.

Also, what is this building. Is this like a city hall? Why is the roof on the building to the side slanted like that. That’s an angle I’d expect from like. Snow concerns. In northern Europe.

Love that Avatar Aang propaganda. Starting to feel like we’re going to see a lot of it going forward.

Oh my god, everything about this press briefing (?) is highly concerning. This rampaging teenager suddenly appearing without any warning or announcement. The clear lack of script or practice. The open location just to anyone instead of to a select set of journalists who would be sympathetic/under government control. Lin fucking Beifong and Tenzin being the only people accompanying Korra on the stage.

What a disaster.

FINAL THOUGHTS

You know, I’m enjoying this more than I expected to. The general writing is great, the use of visuals and other small details to set the time and place is excellent, the worldbuilding implications are rich in potential. I’m looking forward to exploring where the plot threads introduced so far will lead towards!

#the legend of korra #navi watches lok #these are each going to get pretty long #i'm a really annoying person to watch stuff with #i'm half seeing half SUPER not seeing why the fandom likes lin beifong so much #republic city makes me miss living in manhattan though

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christaline · 4 years

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Hey! This is everyone’s favorite Chris!

I used to be pommegranatte but I cannot get into my account because reasons, so i just remade. Call me Chris. Use any pronouns, except “it/its” (surprise me!). I’m black and I’m short😩.

My special interests, and all i post about:

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Jrpgs

Historical dramas

Video game music

Sheet music

Crochet

Things I enjoy that I’ll speak about:

Anime (I haven’t seen most recent ones tho)

Music, mostly kinda weird stuff (like Yahyel or something). My music tag is “audio stim.” Objectively, my tastes are better than yours. Sorry.

The Legend of Zhen Huan meta

African American culture (from my point of view, remember, it’s different all over!). Idk i like talking abt how cool we are

Queer stuff, like anything. Tell me about your weird genders and stuff!

Anything about neurodiversity!!!!!

Recipes, i need more

Recent-ish (not really) interest in lolita fashion. Plus sized lolita so please help a girl out ig. Tag is: “lolita wardrobe” and “lolita fashion.”

I don’t have a DNI, sorry. I’ll just check who follows and then block if i feel uncomfortable. If i follow u and u feel uncomfortable, don’t message me just block me. I kind of don’t care why you’re going to block me and I’m not unfollowing first.

I actually i have a few loose DNI stuff that i have to put Bc y’all won’t leave me Alone:

Radfems/terfs/exclus/whatever pls fuck off

Ppl who “hate kids” or whatever fuck off

Don’t reply or reblog to any of my posts unless it actually says it’s ok to (only exception is mutuals🥰)

YOU DO NOT NEED TO MESSAGE ME TO TELL ME YOU ARE BLOCKING ME. OR HOW “GROSS” YOU THINK IT IS THAT I AM NOT GONNA CHECK YOUR STUPID CARRD.

Ok here’s the other stuff lol:

Pro mogai

Anti censorship

Anti gate keeping of any kind, whether it be about self diagnosing or who counts as “actually gay.”

Sometimes i reblog gore but it’s tagged as “guro tag” so feel free to black list :)

That’s it, I’ll probably add more.

Cool Tag: search up “pinned” for any posts that i deem important enough to tag as such.

#pinned

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quant-um-fizzx · 5 years

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Swept Away

Synopsis: Bucky feels strangely drawn to a woman at a Halloween party thrown at the Avengers compound.

Bucky Barnes x Reader. Except - not? There’s really no way to explain this upfront without giving the whole thing away. It is a nameless female character but it’s also not “fictional you” as a reader because I could not get that to work within this mystery concept.

Warnings: Smut, I’m calling this Dub-Con (but only in the sense that things might not be what they seem) Language, mild Angst, an attempt to be eerie.

Word Count: about 3000

This is for @sherrybaby14‘s Fall Into You writing challenge from the prompt: “Halloween Party”

It’s loud like parties always are and Bucky welcomes a reason not to join in their bickering, no matter how playful.

“It’s the principle, really.” Steve says, sniffs whatever Thor tipped into his glass this time.

“Yes, that’s my point. Thank you. Don’t make a rule and then break it.” Rhodey gripes, adjusting the gold construction paper shooting star taped to the center of his shirt.

“I believe the rule as stated was ‘don’t spend more than $10 on a superhero costume.’ I spent zero dollars on this ensemble.” Tony gestures at the Mark 5 armor he’s wearing. “What we need is a neutral party analysis, who will then concur I am winning at not spending.”

Clint twirls an empty beer bottle between his fingers. “Look, I’m not saying that it’s cheating to come as yourself...”

“I sense a ‘but’ in there somewhere,” Nat says.

“I sense a butt right here,” Rocket chimes in. He’s dressed no differently, having openly complained he didn’t see the point and costumes sound more like some of the stupid shit Quill would be into.

Steve flicks the deep red bed sheet pinned to the back of his shirt, making it swoosh around his feet, casually flipping what no one needs to know is Thor’s actual hammer. The group chatters on as he surveys the room, pausing when he spies Bucky in a far corner, his arm slipping artfully around the waist of a very pretty woman in a white post-Edwardian nightdress. She seems familiar but he can’t really get a good look at her and, considering Bucky’s clearly enthralled with her, he doesn’t think he should be trying to get a better look. They appear deep in conversation, the woman’s hair falling across her face like a curtain. It’s intimate, the way they lean in, and suddenly Steve feels like he’s intruding. He coughs and returns his attention back to the current debate.

***

She curls further into his side, burrows her chilled shoulder down where he’s warm and snug. Her head falls back to look up at him with doe-eyes. He gets lost in them, irises so peaceful and deep, dark like still waters, like starless night sky. She runs her hand over the blue near-ancient canvas stretched across his chest, traces the white star with an elegant digit.

He leans in, almost captures her lips. Forgets it’s not private. Like there’s no one else. Like there shouldn’t ever be. She offers her neck, bends so far back that it’s a bit unnatural, but he brushes the thought away. He shakes his head, tries to recall something. It seems important. Scratching at his brain.

He stops, pulls back. His eyes pinch. He doesn’t know this woman. Doesn’t know anything about her. But he wants to. He wants to know her. Maybe that’s what he couldn’t remember. “What’s…” Runs his nose along her cheek. “What’s your name, Darlin’?”

Did she already tell him that? Did he already ask?

***

“Tell me again, how is coming as yourself and wearing your actual multi-million dollar suit not breaking the rules?” Nat saunters across the circle, grabbing a drink off the bar.

“I’m just saying, that since you were the guy who made the rule, it’s kinda weird that you’re the one breaking it.” Clint sets his bottle down with a clink that sounds a bit more irritated than he appears.

“Point of order: Cap lent his costume to two people.” Tony feigns deep offense, gestures toward Scott.

“What? This? Nah, I hand-sewed this baby myself for Comic-Con years ago.” Scott stands proudly, hands heroically on his hips.

Tony’s eyes roll back into his brain. “That still leaves Barnes and his circa WW2 Star-Spangled-ness? Care to explain the museum piece over there and the clothes he’s wearing while you’re at it?”

***

She smiles softly, delicate. Her features unbothered despite that it seems he’s forgotten her. Goes up on her toes and places cool fingertips on his fevered lips. Pushes her own together in a silent hush and he feels it in his gut - feels himself give in to something more than gravity pulling him down, twisting. He leans in toward those lotus-petal painted lips, almost...almost.

She pulls back just a little. Smile shy, but somehow not. A little knowing. Knows a secret she’s going to show him. He doesn’t like secrets; he’s kept too many, he’s been too many. Doesn’t trust them.

But he wants to know hers. Wants her. Needs to see where this leads.

Her fingers entwine with his, pull him fluidly toward the exit door.

And he forgets. Forgets they are leaving a brightly lit room, forgets there are people who might miss him, forgets everyone, everything but the promise of losing himself in her.

***

Steve shrugs. “Bucky asked how much trouble it would be to borrow it. Turns out it wasn’t much trouble,” he says, pulling his eyes away from the door Bucky had disappeared through.

“Excellent!” Tony claps. “Now that we can all agree the utilization of old suits is not a budget factor, let’s discuss what I am sure is a fascinating reason why Wilson here jumped on the opportunity to dress as a defunct Russian asset.”

Sam scoffs and pretends to smooth the aluminum foil wrapped around his left arm. “The Winter Soldier? Nah, my arm’s just dressed as a baked potato.”

***

Her fingers swim up under his shirt and along each rib like organ keys. He’s draped over her, touching every inch, body covering her like a blanket, a pall. Their kisses swell and he dives when her mouth parts for him. At first a shallow exploration, his warm pink tongue skimming inside until she, impatient and sudden, curls into his mouth and catches it.

The party and the lights feel a million leagues away. The sounds muffled and distant as if they’ve sneaked off to skinnydip not go necking in a backseat.

Lips and teeth banging, urgent. She’s under and around him all at once. Calling him to claim her like the open sea.

Hot breath rushes from him as he pulls away and she floats up to follow but then settles back flat along the seat, smiling up at him. Hair splayed out around her face in waves and her face glowing like the moon.

It registers with him that they’re in a parking lot, in the back of a car. It seems like new information, as if he had just realized. Must have been too busy kissing her, touching her because he doesn't know how they got here. Doesn’t remember clambering into the car. It’s large and old. A Studebaker? A Streamliner?

No, that can’t be right.

***

“Hey, Mr. Stark. Cool Costume. Ned dressed as Mark 5 in 3rd grade.” Peter scurries up, acting slightly winded, as most of the crowd shoots daggers at him. “It, uh, it looks way better on you though.” He looks hopefully around, checking if that fixed whatever he’d said wrong.

Shuddering, as if he’s just recalled what he’d come to say, Peter looks back quickly over his shoulder at the doorway Bucky and the woman walked out. “That’s all kinds of creepy. Just like that urban legend, right?”

“When it comes to questionable bed partners, I am spectacularly aware that I have no room to talk. But what is the deal with Steve’s pal and Coraline?” Tony gestures over his shoulder. “There’s a line between cute and creepy. But that one just runs a bit too realistic as The Woman in White.”

Steve looks between them and the door again. “The what?”

***

He presses his lips to her neck. Runs his tongue up a long trail to the shell of her ear.

Soft. He’s never felt anything so soft in his hands. Breasts like silt, spilling under his palms. Soft every place he’s hard. He’s so hard, aching with it. Cock straining, reducing him down to that near-pain desire. He wants to bury himself between her thighs, drown himself inside her.

She pulls the gown free from her shoulders and it pools around her. She arches up to him. Offers. Urges.

Insists.

He licks his lips and wants more. Already can’t remember what she tastes like, saltwater or sweetened honey? He kisses her again, soft press against his tongue and he’s thirsty. Parched. Dives in for more but each touch leaves him wanting more. More heat. More water. More...air.

She’s under him and begging him.

“Take me.”

Rouge tongue runs over chapped lips as he comes up for a breath. “You don’t have to ask me twice, Sugar.” He rasps, lungs seized up in want.

Her hands dig into blue shoulders and her legs wrap around red and white stripes, clasping behind the small of his back. Pulling him down to her, pulling him under.

Fog coats the windows. Their want dripping in rivulets down the glass. The air is thick with it, clings to his lungs, each breath heavy, laboring.

“Hang on babe,” he pulls back, heart racing gulping down air. “Whew. Huh. Wow.” He looks around, squints, trying to get his bearings. “Gimme a sec, okay?”

She smiles again, sweet as rain. Shakes her head slowly, hair swirling around, a tangle of moss on the seat. Locks her hands behind his neck and digs her heels into his thighs.

She reaches down inside his pants and draws him out, a whisper caress on his length. Barely there, but possessive. Hers.

“Take me.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he gasps, breathless. Gasps as strokes him. “I’ll make it good, so good for you.”

He wants her. Wants her like air. “Can’t wait. Gotta have you - now.”

She flips him over, deft like he weighs nothing and he floats beneath her. Straddles his hips and anchors him, grinding onto his cock. Her head falls back again, does that deep swoon to expose the marble column of her neck. And he feels again like he needs to stop her, to catch her head and stop her. To cradle her skull.

***

“I can tell you, Cap,” Sam says, leaning in conspiratorially, “but you and I are going to have a long chat later about how you manage to interact with other humans every day and still stay so damned isolated.”

Steve gives Sam a withering look but motions for him to continue.

“The story goes, there’s a ghost that wanders the area. She fell for a guy years ago and got abandoned. The story changes in the details. Sometimes she died in childbirth, jumped off a bridge, whatever. But one detail is always the same: heartbreaker was shipping off to war the next day. So, she, you know, ‘did it for her country.’ But the guy never comes back and she dies, waiting for him. Wandering the road leading to where they were last together.”

“Huh, that’s super weird,” Scott says, throwing back what he immediately learns is heavily-spiked cider, his eyes going wide on the burn.

“Ghost stories are weird by definition, Scott” Nat says, licking the rim of her glass.

“No,” Scott coughs, throwing back two more cider shots in quick succession. “I mean it’s weird because I picked her up on the road coming here. She asked all slow and dramatic about her soldier - I guess she is just super into Halloween - and I was gonna call her an Uber but then she said she was looking for Stark’s thing.”

Steve is incredibly done with this entire conversation. Peter, the exact opposite, presses for more info. “Which road?”

Sam shrugs dismissively. “The one by the old fairgrounds.”

Scott chokes on a fourth shot. “Down in Queens.”

“You mean the fairgrounds where Stark held the first Expo?” Steve say, unblinking. All fun gone.

Suddenly, Steve knows where he’s seen her. It’s just been a very, very long time since 1943.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Tony says, eyes locked on Steve.

“Are you saying that I picked up a...a... ghost and rode with her for an hour? Guys...guys, I need to sit down.” Scott wobbles, hand shooting out to steady himself on Rocket. Rocket steps aside.

Before Scott’s ass hits the floor, everyone else is out the door.

***

She sinks down around him, fluid and silk. Her hands press into his chest. His warm muscles tense and brown nipples pebble in her touch’s wake.

As she rides him, the night’s light behind her makes her hair look like a halo floating out around her. A thought breaks through that she looks familiar - he does know her - but she’s just one more thing he lost along the way.

He wants to tell her they can make this new, start over, whatever went wrong before, he can fix it and it wasn’t his fault and didn’t mean to leave her and please forgive him because he didn’t mean to toss her away.

Wait.

Wait...

He recalls a flash of her face, dry and bright. She’s looking up at him in his brown uniform. Red car hovering on a stage behind her. Then, as suddenly as it came, the picture’s gone, popped like a burst bubble.

***

Steve and Sam are first out the back, toward the dock. Peter has a legit meltdown but still manages to check every car. They’re all empty.

“Cap! There!” Clint shouts, pointing out at the water.

The middle of the goddamn lake.

In the goddamn, deathly still, dark lake.

***

She glides over him and it’s so desperate and slippery. Everything urgent when all he’d really wanted is to take his time. To do this right. Bring her some daisies - or, no, she'd like lilies he thinks dumbly and runs his hands up to cup her face. He wants to show her a good time before his ships out in the morning and see if she has a different friend for Steve.

The guilt is raw and burrowing in his heart he can’t shake it but he doesn’t quite know why.

Maybe that’s her secret. What she wanted to show him.

Maybe it’s that she deserves better than this back seat in a parked car outside Stark’s expo. He starts to say sorry but is silenced with another watery kiss.

Burning starts low in his back, the building pull low in his spine, and he wants to come. Desperate for his end.

Maybe it’s too much because she can have it all she can have him and he’s not scared - but a small spark fires some forgotten place in his mind, that he is scared - that maybe he should be.

Sliding over him, bend and rock. Tight. He surges up into her again and again. His release looms, vision tunneled down to her. Nothing but her and the sweet hold, the way she’s anchored him down after so many years adrift.

He thinks blindly that he should warn her. Opens his mouth but she swallows his words.

Then he’s coming, pulsing out of him like lifeblood. Breathless and drained. And he’s so tired.

Peaceful. Serene.

“Take me,” she sings.

He can’t hold on. Body aches for rest.

Her brow furrows. “Take me home.”

His eyes flutter. He starts to form the words, but just...can’t.

He would’ve taken her home and not left. He didn’t mean to make it seem like it must have seemed. He didn’t just throw her away. But it was war and he wasn’t expecting the hell it brought or the hell that came after. It had all seemed so innocent in that old back seat, with his promises he didn’t mean to break.

She grinds down, damned serum refractory period kicking in. He swells against all reason and moves with her until she shakes and clenches, nails digging into his skin, a mournful wail spiraling out of her as he feels himself spill again.

She touches his neck, feels his pulse stutter out, slow. Her face is confused. Head shaking.

He takes her hand, holds it to his heart. An apology.

Then, she rails back, wretches and twists. She slips through his fingers like time, like silk, like thread.

What was once solid, warm like new sun on a cold sill, now shifts. Contorts and writhes, skin viscus and pooling around his fingers like so much rancid dough.

He wants to care but he wants to sleep. Just rest his eyes. Just for a second. It doesn’t feel right but he can’t make himself care. It’s so quiet and peaceful, down here where she used to be solid, where he used to be warm.

***

Then, when he’s almost gone, when peace has fired off in nearly every cell, he’s yanked free.

Colder than he’s ever been. Night air like a fire burning, like he is nothing but frostbite dropped in a boiling pot.

Sam drags him up onto the dock and collapses beside him. Sam’s face is drawn and terrified and their clothes soggy and weighted, water running off between the wooden planks.

“The Hell Barnes? Party full of perfectly available, alive folk and that’s the strange you go for.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x original female character #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction

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familyagrestefanblog · 5 years

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Identity theory to the Black Cat knight in “Feast” - Part 2

There is one detail in “Feast” that has me almost upset because of my own short coming. Not because it’s badly written, out of nowhere or anything, quite the opposite, its brilliant! It’s the detail of the former cat miraculous holder, the knight

You know why this has me almost upset? I had this as serious theory since one evening I rewatched “Darkblade” and researched the historical background given there, since miraculous takes real life history and changes it to fit into their universe. The people and events are more or less accurate (as we know from episodes like “the pharaoh”). But I never completed the research nor did I made my theory into a post.

Well anyway. I guess it’s never to late to present my theory to who this former cat was.

Part 1: Who is the black knight? And the entire basis for the Theory

This is Part 2, here I will cover: The flag comparison is “Darkblade” and “Feast”

Part 3: Are the Cat Miraculous holder knight and Darkblade the same people?

Alright guys buckel up, it’s history time and these are gonna get LONG

Part 2: Comparison and Connections of the flags in “Darkblade” and ”Feast”

Its an incredibly interesting detail and I LOVE IT!

Just so we are all on the same page, the two flags I’m talking about are those two:

At first looking at these two flags made me think I hit a dead end because they dead ass look nothing alike. Of course I can just say “Oh I bet the flag from the portrait is the real life one and the Darkblade one is for the show and they included the real one as an history easter egg” but frankly I thought that would have been just a cop out way to present this theory.

So I went back to the research and would you look at that, if I’m correct with this then the Miraculous crew really did their history homework and “darkblade” reaches a new level of awesome episode for me.

To figure this out one character was of huge importance: Monsieur Armand D'Argencourt

He is of such importance because not only in his episode “Darkblade” a crucial lore source for the later part of this theory, its also his design and ESPECIALLY his name that helped me aplenty finding my way through the research (But more to him in part 3).

Cuz you see, while researching Edward of Woodstock there was a name in the battle history between England and France, I didn’t paid much attention to at first. But then later when I wanted to look up Monsieur D'Argencourt’s ancestors story (Darkblade himself) given to us in the episode, the name “D'Argencourt” caught my eye immediately.

Because one of the biggest battles between the English and French for the control of France and also one of the most celebrated victories in English history was The Battle of Agincourt. D'Argencourt, Agincourt (in French Azincourt), you know where I’m coming from here. I will spare you the details of this battle because for the theory we’ll only need the flags used in the battle.

These are the flags the armies carried into the battle.

Comparing the Flag the Cat knight holds in the painting in “Feast” to these historical Flags here, I would say its quite save to say that Knight Noir is either carrying the Flag of “France” or “Saint Edmund”, though I’m strongly leaning towards “Saint Edmund”, the national Saint of England before getting replaced by Saint George, for context reasons.

Another thing that needs to be said here is that, yes, the flag doesn’t look 100% like the real one, but just like with the change of title from Prince to Knight in part 1, I’m not sure if the Miraculous crew would have even been allowed to use one of the actual flags of Saint Edmund in the first place. This is a difficult aspect to work into a show without offending anyone, especially when the real life historical figure you are connecting it with isn’t going to be portrait in a positive light the whole time.

Just like with the title and identity, what’s important here is that even though the flag isn’t historically right, for the people who know history the flag is still recognisable. I mean even I was able to pin point it to one of the saint Edmund flags and I’m not a history nerd so real historians will get it no doubt too. And for everyone else the not 100% correct flag isn’t doing any harm or did anyone notice it and felt cheated by it in “feast”? No? That’s what I thought.

Alight lets continue with Darkblades Flag

Once again just like Knight Noirs Flag, the flag from “Darkblade” also has a real life historical background even though this time its much more obvious and I’m sure a lot of people already noticed this.

The flag seen in “Darkblade” is quite obviously a slightly changed version of the flag that was for a long time the national Flag of England and would still be a part of it today if history hadn’t decided otherwise. Where things get interesting is that the English red flag with the white Dragon is once again a flag of Englands former national Saint Edmund. Unfortunately, to the history behind the flag I couldn’t find all too much to fact check but what I found out I will gladly explain. Please correct me though if I’m wrong and someone knows the actual reason.

Edmund was the King of East Anglia (England in todays language) from about 855. That is also why the Flag features a white Dragon. Two flags in England’s history featured a Dragon, one the Anglian with their white one and the Welsh’s red one. There is a great legend that comes with these two dragons and their connection to each other, check it out if you’re interested in stuff like this, its certainly worth a look. But here for this theory its only important that the white dragon flag originates from Anglia and then later the Dragon flag was resumed as Englands national flag when King Edmund became the Martyr and national Saint of England and therefore his/Anglias flag got used to represent and symbolize England.

So very interestingly, both flags shown to us in connection with a Black Knight (with one of them in universe confirmed to have been a former Cat Miraculous holder) are Flags of Saint Edmund. This not only gives us a geographical area but also a time frame to work with.

England, around the 14th - 15th century.

AND TO THE TIME FRAME the episode “Darkblade” also put in a cool Art easter egg comfirming it.

The real life illustration they use for Monsieurs D'Argencourt’s history monolog here is from the most famous and possibly the best surviving example of French Gothic manuscript illumination, “Très Riches Heures du Duc de Berry” (The Very Rich Hours of the Duke of Berry) created in, you guessed it, the 1400s (God I love details like this!)

But, well sure, all of this is nice and good, but the timeframe and the changes done to him still kinda leaves my original statement open to a default and that’s what I’ll cover next in Part 3: If Edward of Woodstock is the Black Cat Miraculous holder in the painting in “Feast”, is he also Monsieurs D'Argencourt ancestor Darkblade?

And back to Part 1: Who is the black knight? And the entire basis for the Theory

#Miraculous #miraculous ladybug #ml theory #past miraculous holders #former chat noir #ml feast #ml season 1 #ml season 3 #ml Darkblade #Cat miraculous holder in feast #Cat Noir #Chat Noir #guardians of the miraculous #ml spoilers

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yamithediaperdork · 4 years

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Legend of Zelda: Back to diapers

Link, hero of time and some other tittles thanks to a ball of timey whinmy time travel) was getting the room ready. he was having a visitor to his room in the restored castle hyrule. "So let me get this right.. Your going to have a little imp, who used to ride you while you were.." Zelda asked, again, trying to make sure she had the facts right about this. "a wolf." Link said proudly, checking to make sure they'd have enough snacks that they wouldn't need to disturb others. "A wolf..right. You're inviting her over for what by all accounts is going to be..a slumber party?" Zelda asked, smirking now and waiting for the normal reaction to such a question. "...notta slumber party, it's a reunion between travel companions." Link whined and huffed, going from the mature and self confident hero everyone knew to a huffing whinny looking young man, showing his mental age with ease. "Right right, well while you two are up all night doing each others hair " Sulky look now. "Or chatting about boys." Really huffy look from link now. "Just remember that i'm doing a castle wide inspection tomorrow so this room better stay clean or I'll make you clean it under my watchful eye..and in a maid dress if your lippy about it." she smirked at THAT mental image as link shuddered. "You wouldn't dare!" "Bring it on fairy boy." Link wisely chose to back down and instead went towards the temple of time, the cross roads to the multiverse. as he stomped off Zelda giggled to herself, he was too easy to get all blushy and pouty. not that she was complaining.

Getting the dimensional portal open was easy enough, making use of the ocarina of time and the master sword.. the real trick was getting just the right timeline and spot he wanted and then yanking the little imp free. As midna came into his timeline and universe she was in her normal little imp form, and grinned wide seeing link. "Hey bony butt! Look at you, looking so mature and not in DIAPERS fer a change!" She joked out loud, looking around and then frowning. "Awww, i thought you were gonna have some of your friends here..." She huffed. "and I thought you were gonna shut up about the you know what. this is why I left the friends at home." Link pointed out, a cute blush on his face and his hands on his hips. (if asked later he would deny he was about to flip up his tunic to prove what a big boy he was. that was totally too infantile for a hero like him!) "Link! I'm insulted that you would accuses me of breaking my wo-" Midna started, looking over the top as he held a hand to her face, as if devastated by link's lack of trust before he cut her off. "you just started to tell everyone...you kinda..proved why I was right not to trust you..." Link snickered, wagging a finger. "...shit..yeah." Midna laughed and rubbed the back of her head. "So why don't you come with me to the castle and we can get you settled in."

Looking around the large almost storage room that link called a minor bedroom, Minda whistled. "Dammmmn you've really come up in the world. from a tree house dwelling brat in my dimension to having a room at the freaking castle. and no stinky pants!" "You make it sound like I was always pooping myself. and for the record, that was a side effect of being split across the multiverse.." Link sniffled. "like to see you not crap yourself when your split into like 8 plus copes of yourself." "awww did i hurt widdle winkys widdle feelings?" the imp teased and then tickled links side. "heyy none of that!" Link yelped and stepped away, blushing. "Awww is widdle winky still all ticklish?" "Yes! and stop calling me little linky!" "well technically I'm calling you widdle winky so it doesn't count." the imp teased. "Butttt I'll make you a deal..if I can tickle you for fivvvve whole minutes and you don't end up soiling yourself, then I'll zip up and quit. buttt." evil grin. "WHEN you make tinkles or uh-ohs then I'll get to slap a diaper on that butt!" Of course link was smart enough to know not to take bets like this, and surly knew something would be up and ergo would just tell Minda a firm but polite no. "Fine! your on!" Or you know, just be a silly butt.

five minutes later and with link over a water proof piece of cloth (that Minda insisted to her delight was links anti bed wetting sheet!) link had his tunic and under shirt off. Midna had started to claim if link didn't wet then it was because of his clothes protecting him and so, ever proud and SO sure of his own self control link was in just his white tights and bare feet (on the slight slight SLIGHT chance he did pee.. he didn't wanna have his boots squishy for a few days..) "alright puddles, ready to let it go?" the imp asked and Link just glared. "Bring it on!" he shouted defiantly seconds later he wished he'd kept his mouth closed.As her hair hand went to work link already was struggling to surprise a giggle.as the tickling got worse, going under his arm pits and the bottom of his feet and link was flopping around laughing and crying and his hands going down to the front of his tights. "A-Ah! I Yield I yield! I'll wear a diaper j-just don't make me wet my pants!" Link whined, the pain and twinging in his bladder and worse and pressing need in his behind and the thought of soiling himself in front of her too humiliating to imagine. (Never mind he'd be going in diapers later, Link was more of a 'in the now' kinda guy.) "awww is widdle BABY linky about to go tinkle in his pants like a big babbbby?" Minda taunted. She tickled him and pressed on his belly one last time and then started to draw her hand away when a loud fart blasted out of Link's behind and she groaned. "Ah hell i pushed his poopie button." she muttered and held her nose. "I-I do NOT have a P-P-POOPIE!!" Link started to argue but poped a squat instead and closed his eyes and slide his thumb into his mouth as he loudly loaded the seat of his formally white tights and well since there wasn't any point to it, let loose with his bladder too.Looking at link whimpering behind his thumb Minda had mercy and patted the poor dorks head. (though of course she was still gonna diaper that butt!)

To say any fight was gone from link as Midea lead him to the bath was a understatement. he held onto her hair hand with his left hand, his right thumb was busy in his mouth as he got him striped and washed down, then wrapped up in a towel and dried off. "Sheesh, you'd swear I've done this once or twice." Midena joked. Link huffed behind his thumb at that and laid on his bed. "a man of your word I see, though right now I bet you wish you weren't huh?" Midea chuckled. Link naturally nodded and blushed, but as she grabbed some fo the white cloth diapers he raised his hips. if he had to be a diaper boy for the evening, then gosh darn it, he was gonna be a darn good one! (naturally link would latter shrug off such a ridiculous thought as just being caught up in the moment.)

One important thing Link hadn't of asked though was what had Mdina down with the tarp and the soiled clothes. If he had thought to ask then he would of found out that she had just flung it out of the widow..were it had landed still on castle grounds. a fact that was brought up to a somewhat irate Zelda who was now storming towards link's room to find out just why the hell he was fling such filth around. "i swear, if this is some sort of friendship ritual next time they meet up they can do it in her dimension!" Zelda huffed.

Midena finished pinning on the last of the diapers (prefer to go nice and thick as they didn't apperently have plastic pants in this dimension) and tugged up a clean pair of links tights, chuckling at how they were stopped before getting even halfway up. "Looks like it's just a tunic for you, unless you wanna just go all natural in just the diapies." Midna teased. Link huffed and grabbed his tunic, sliding it on and standing up to look in the mirror. turning around he frowned. There was a little peek of it coming out but you could only notice it between his legs. 'maybe if I clenched them together.' Link thought and did that it did do a much better job at hiding the front of the diaper, thought the back was even more exposed. And the back of link's diapers were currently pointed to his door as he posed in the mirror. A Mirror that let link see in slow motion terror as Zelda opened his door. "Alright Link I've put up with alot..of...you...diaper butt?" Zelda was ranting as she stormed in, pausing and staring, tilting her head as she looked at the massive diapered booty of Link. "Uh...what?" "Z-Zelda! I Uh...it's..not what it looks like!" Link yelped, turning around and waving his hands. which, one of still had traces of drool on it. "...It looks like the hero of time is a diaper wearing thumb sucker." Zelda said, amusement starting to fill her voice and a smile coming to her face. "E-er about th-" Link started but Midea cut him off. "oh yeah, he's a total big baby. been begging me since we got back to diaper him and let him nom on his thumb. Personally I think he should have a pacifier." Midea said, seeing a perfect chance for some fun and running with it. Link's jaw dropped as he glared at midea who giggled. "opps! sorry, I wasn't suppose to tell you widdle winkys secret! I bet he's about to pout and call me a liar." Midea added quickly, giggling as link struggled to find his voice. "I-I do not-" "Seee? Called it!" "But i-" "Link, be a good big baby and go shush. the big girls need to talk." if that last part had come from midea Link would of kept trying to explain himself, but sadly, the command to be a good boy had come from the smirking mouth of Zelda and Link huffed and stormed away from the two of them. he had hoped to show his displeasure but instead as he waddled and stumbled he only looked cute and ridiculous. As the two talked over all the things they should do for the cute big baby hero link groaned. and it was somewhere around a mention of bonnets he decided to tune them out and just suck on his thumb. Sadly, this was seen as a sign of acceptance, sealing his doom

Game (adorably) over

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jungshookz · 5 years

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beauty & the bookworm {librarian!namjoon}

→ pairing: kim namjoon x reader

→ genre: librarian!namjoon who’s a little nerdy a little dorky but we loVe it, university!au, y/n’s the brat this time around, fluff softer than clouds, a bit of heartwrenching angst :’(, BTS as in BIG TIME smU T

→ wordcount: 20.8k this will definitely make the app crash as per usual don’t come for me

→ note: okay first and foremost i apologize because this is wAY overdue! i started writing librarian!joon in october but i kept putting him off and it’s not what he deserves :-(( but the most important thing is that he’s here now and he’s ready to trip his way into your hearts!! also i finally gave one of my fics a title instead of just naming the au so we’re spicing things up for the new year! enjoy!!

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or joonie or even jimin u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

you’ve always been the type of person to just go with the flow

whenever life throws an obstacle your way you somehow always aLways make it out alive

you always have a backup plan and you never worry about anything

because worrying gives you frowning wrinkles and you want your skin to remain smooth and beautiful

maybe it’s maybelline??? maybe it’s just not giving a fuCk

but this is the first time you’ve ever been… slightly concerned

you are in unfamiliar territory because you feel

…worried

and you don’t like this feeling at all

“i don’t know what to tell you, y/n. you’re failing three of your courses. you need extra credit.” your counsellor looks at you and then looks back down at his laptop where he has your transcript opened up

“okay! okay okay cool cool cool that’s fine” you clear your throat and nod quickly “extra credit is fine. no need to worry.”

“well, i wouldn’t say no need to worry. there’s definitely room for worry here.”

you thought you had the hang of this university thing but apparently not since jin just told you you’re failing three of your damn courses

kim seokjin - he graduated like two years ago and is your academic counsellor

he’s a pretty cool guy most of the time!! sometimes his dad jokes makes you want to slam your face into a wall but other than that he’s cool

and he’s always there to help you whenever you feel like you’re struggling

he’s a good counsellor but right now he’s being an awful counsellor and not even offering you an ouNCe of support

just kidding you’re just mad at yourself and you’re taking it out on literally anyone you see

you lean forward a little to try and get a sneak peek of your transcript and jin shifts his laptop away

you huff and lean back against the plushy sofa chair “so… how am i supposed to get extra credit?” you inspect your nails uninterestedly because you’re supposed to be napping right now but obviouSly you’re not going to be able to catch some extra z’s today because of this stupid meeting about your stupid grades

“summer school is an option.”

just the thought of summer school makes you feel nauseous

you’re not going to spend two months writing a philosophy paper or studying for an exam when you could be on a beach somewhere or on a road trip with jimin and the others

thank u next bitch

“please tell me there’s something else. anything else??” you frown and slump against his desk and he lets out a sigh before rifling through some loose papers on his desk

“which prof do i have to go down on to get extra credit” you joke but the smile drops from your face when jin raises a disapproving brow at you

“if you’re lucky, maybe you can find a part-time job on campus. usually you can get extra credit from doing things here! last i heard there was a position to be the school mascot!”

omg

yuck

having to jump around in a slightly damp and sewage-scented costume for two hours??

no thanks

jin can tell by your expression that that’s the last thing you want

“i hate to break it to you, y/n, but you can’t exactly be picky here. go to main hall where they stick up all those posters and job offers - maybe you’ll find something good! cheer up, hm?”

“yeah, yeah” you murmur and scratch the back of your head before standing up and swinging your bag over your shoulder

“oh, and y/n?”

“what?”

“maybe you should study instead of watching netflix all the time - you really have to boost your grades this term otherwise… y’know” he winces

‘y’know’ means you’re not going to frickin graduate

“…bye jin” you mutter and shut the door behind you before letting out a breath

well

that was a depressing conversation

jin didn’t even tell you a dad joke this time around

as you make your way to the main hall you can’t help but let out another sigh of disappointment

in high school you had eeeehhhhh average grades like you were kinda dumb but not thAt dumb

but you never expected yourself to faiL classes

you thought you were smarter than this!!! obviously not tho

you let out a huff as you stand in front of the bulletin board

there’s an overwhelming number of posters ranging from poetry sLAM competitions to math tutoring services and you don’t know where the heck to start

okay let’s see

what can we do

‘do you have school spirit? do you need extra credit? why not try being our adorable school masco-‘

“nope” you click your tongue and immediately look at the next poster

‘looking for a philosophy tutor for philosophy102’

philosophy is one of the classes you’re failing so maybe not that one either

‘looking for water girl/water boy for new school year! email coach bang for more details’

good god

the water girl??

that would be pathetic

that min yoongi tho

wOO you are definitely thirsty for him

but not thirsty enOugh because there’s no way you’re going to be known as the dang water girl

‘ocean expedition next summer? come to seashell city and explore the ancient legend of the mermaid… extra credit included!’

now thAt sounds cool

but next summer??? you’re not planning to still be here neXt summer

you’re running out of options here

the ones that you’ve seen just don’t sit well with you

the ones that seem okay are already all booked up

you raise a brow when you find a smaller note pinned under an obnoxiously neon pink ‘JOIN THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD’ poster

oh cute

it’s a picture of a book

‘booking for extra credit? there’s no one to blame but your-shelf if you let this job opportunity slip away! come to the library and check it out!’

you cringe in your soul and shake your head

a 60 year old grandpa definitely wrote this up

you take the note off the bulletin board and re-read it

urhghUAhfasj

are u really going 2 do this

you really gon spend most of your time at the library instead of, oh, i don’t know, literally anYTHING ELSE

“beggars can’t be choosers” you mumble to yourself

plus this option doesn’t seem like it needs a lot of skill so it should be easy-peasy lemon-squeezy

the extra credit will just fall right onto your lap

but at the same time

you despise the library

it’s too quiet

you can’t eat or drink in there

it always smells like musty old books

everyone’s always hogging the charging ports

you can’t talk without someone giving you a dirty look because apParently you’re being too loud when you wereN’T EVEN being that loud

your stomach always rumbles in the library and you end up not studying because you’re too focused on wondering what you should get for dinner

the last time you were at the library you were only there because jimin wanted to get some studying done and he needed a study partner

but that was literally like last year

now if he wants a study partner you tell him ‘it’s mY way or the highway’ which means you force him to study at your dinky apartment

you purse your lips and read the note yet aGAin

it seems like this is the option that makes you want to rip your fingernails off the least

it’s the library i guess

*confetti*

“what’s the matter with you?” jimin pokes your cheek with his fork before digging into his spaghetti

you scowl and rub the dot of tomato sauce off your cheek

“i’m failing three of my classes” you mutter before slumping against the table “and now i have to work at the library everyday to get extra credit”

jimin shrugs

“at least you’re not failing all of your classes?”

“i’m taking four courses this semester. i’m failing three out of four classes.”

jimin pauses and purses his pillowy lips

“like i said…at least you’re not failing four out of four classes?” he offers through a mouthful of pasta

he swallows “plus the library isn’t all that bad! books are… books are like… cool”

“you’re not doing a very good job of making me feel better”

“well, i don’t wanna be that friend - but you kinda did this to yourself!!!! working at the library is a consequence of not doing well in class, y/n. i’m sorry to break it to you, but you gotta do what you gotta do. you’re not allowed to complain because you let this happen to yourself.” jimin sighs frustratedly because as much as he loves you it’s so iRRitating when you’re whining about problems that could’ve very easily been avoided

“ya i guess so” you mutter

yeah

it’ll be fine

becoming a librarian will be great

maybe you’ll absorb the information from all the books that you’ll be hanging around with all day and become smart enough to graduate and not need the extra credit

jimin jumps when you let out a groan and smack your head against the table in defeat

life is really kicking your ass right now and is showing absolutely no mercy

“you want me to go in with you and drop you off at the counter?” jimin smiles sweetly and you shake your head and slip your arm from his

“this is a battle i’m going to have to face alone.” you shake a fist in front of you

“go on, my brave warrior.” jimin says dramatically before nodding “i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you let out a sigh before pushing the doors open and letting yourself in

you see a couple people sitting here studying

it is exam season after all

speaking of exam season u should probably start studying

you don’t remember the last time you were at the library

you came in once because you needed to pee really bad and this was where the nearest washroom was

also why is it so biG

there’s nobody at the front counter so you assume the guy went to the back because there’s like another room behind the desk

you whistle a tune to yourself as you lean against the counter and scroll through your phone

you’re blissfully unaware of the many people who are glaring at you because of your awful whistling

it’s when you get a (very rude) ’shh!’ that you raise a hand in defence and stop the whistling

it’s too quiET in here the whistling was necessary

these ungrateful assholes should be thankful

“hi there! can i help you with something?” you jump ten feet into the air from the voice that breaks the silence

you turn around and there’s this this tall ass tree of a guy standing behind the counter

he smiles at you and you immediately notice his sweet smile and cute dimples

he tilts his head before reaching up to adjust his glasses

“um, i…” he looks down and his eyes light up when he sees his poster in your hand

“oh, y/n! i didn’t know you were interested in working at the library” huh

he knows your name?

how does he know you

…do you know him?

well you have to know him otherwise how does he know your name

he pushes his glasses up and waits for you to respond

you decide to play along with it for the sake of a good first impression

or..,.,. good second impression??

you’re tempted to tell him you’re only doing this because you have no choice and also you’re failing your classes but he probably doesn’t want to hear all of that

“yeah! a little extra credit never hurts” you laugh and scratch the back of your neck “it’s nice to see you… again…?” you trail off because obviously you have no idea what his name is

you’re still confused as to how he knows your name

he kind of blinks at you and his eyebrows knit together in confusion before he’s like oOh okay i see what’s happening here

“i, uh, i’m namjoon, ha. i’m actually- we were in the same philosophy lecture last year. you… you bumped into me on the first day of class and spilt your coffee all over me.” namjoon chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his neck

oh yiKES

your cheeks flame up immediately and you press your lips together

good first impression!!!!1!1!

“oh! oh, right! yeah, of course i remember you, joonie!” the nickname slips out to try and soothe the awkward situation but you don’t think it’s working that well “i’m sorry about that, by the way. you know how klutzy i am” you clear your throat

namjoon chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his head

and then u remember an important detail

you raise a brow

“wait but like didn’t you graduate last year? you’re older than me aren’t you?”

“yes, i graduated last year. and yes, I’m older than you”

“….so why r u still here”

“i like it here! it’s as simple as that” namjoon shrugs and you hum in response

personally speaking

once you graduate (if u even graduate lol roasted) there is no turning back

you don’t want to come back here

you wasted four years in this torturous hell why would you willingly come back

but now that he reminded you that you two were in the same philosophy lecture it’s kind of coming back to you

you’ve seen his face like once or twice

he always sat in the front and always raised his hands to answer questions or remind the professor of assignments and oHhH right kim naMjOon

sometimes you and kook poke fun at him because like he’s genuinely suCh a n3rd and a dork aNd a try hard anD he always corrected people over the most minuscule mistakes and he’s a neat freak and wow you are suddenly realising you’re not a huge fan of namjoon

“please, i prefer namjoon.” namjoon clears his throat before setting the pile of books down on the counter “so… you wanna start working here? become the ~junior librarian~?” he sticks his hands out and does some jazz hands and you resist the urge to roll your eyes because woW that was lame

“yep, i need the extra credit” you shrug and lean against the counter

“why do you need extra credit?”

“i don’t think that’s any of your business, namjoon.” you tilt your head and namjoon’s like alright fair enough

“look. it’s pretty obvious you need some help around here.” you gesture to the cart stacked with like a trillion books sitting by the desk “and no one else has applied to help out according to your sad poster- i’m pretty much your only option, bro” you shrug as if to say ‘it’s not my fault’

okay

namjoon definitely doesn’t appreciate the tone and the attitude that you’re giving him

but you’re not wrong

surprisingly not a lot of people have come up to him wanting the job as the junior librarian

it’s kind of disappointing

being a librarian is so much fun!!!!!!

who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by books all day????

and no offence

but he doesn’t really want to give you this job because you’re just so,,., snooty and kinda rude

and you seem like you don’t care about anything

aNd you seem kinda disorganised

he’s just getting that ~vibe~ from you

but he doesn’t have a choice because he does really need the help and you need the extra credit so it works out for both of u

and he’s mature enough to work well with someone he doesn’t like so he’s sure he’ll be fine

namjoon purses his lips and exhales

“fine… i suppose i can let you work alongside me. but just to let you, i have a system for everything, so i would really appreciate if you followed the rules that i set in place and-“ you keep staring at him but you’ve drowned him out and you’re just singing a song in your head

“do you understand?” he finishes and adjusts his glasses before giving you a pointed look

“ya man i gotcha” you click your tongue before pushing yourself off the counter and clapping your hands together “so chief where do i start” you take your backpack off and swiNG it over the counter and it fLOps to the ground loudly

namjoon’s eye twitches when your books spill out of your bag and you don’t bother picking it up

okay

what’s a job that’ll take a while and will require you to be awaY from him

namjoon disappears behind the counter for a split second before reappearing with a duster and a rag

“those shelves over there need to be dusted.”

you raise your brows in disbelief

dusting

is that it

wow

easy frickin peASY ladies and gents

“at least try and make it hard for me.” you snort and snatch the duster and rag from him

extra credit - here we come! goodbye suMMER scHOOL

“see, i told you it wasn’t going to be bad!” jimin points out after you finish fleXing to him about how good of a dust job you did on those bookshelves

weird flex but ok lol

“i know!! i don’t actually mind the library, now that i think about it. the dead silence is kinda relaxing. but-“ you raise a finger “i’m not sure about that namjoon guy”

“namjoon?”

“he’s the librarian. he graduated last year and- god, he’s just… he’s such a nerd. which isn’t a bad thing, i guess? you know what i’m saying, right? he’s just,,,, i don’t know… he seems like the kinda guy who’d get a heart attack from breaking a tinY rule or something,, or i feel like if i drop a book he’ll start crying like he’s thAt kind of person”

jimin nods understandably before shrugging “i get it… but i’m sure if you give him a chance you’ll warm up and you’ll get along!! even if you don’t get along just keep it mind that you’re only doing this for a couple of months.”

“yeah, i guess.”

jimin’s usually right so you’ll take his word for it

maybe namjoon isn’t as much of a stick in the mud as you think he is

you’ll be fine

remember how in the beginning of all of this you were like this is going to be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy

well

it’s not

it’s not easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy

in fact it’s difficult-difficult-orange-difficult

why are there so many books here???????? it’s never ending!! every time you put one away like ten more appear on the counter and then namjoon’s like mmMm c’mon pick up the pace there’s a lot to do around here

you haven’t even had a chance to sit down for a minute because the library is huGe and you have to walk everywhere to make sure each book is in the right place and no books are overdue and if books aRe overdue to have to go and harass the person that still has the book and the point is THIS IS HARD AND YOU ARE TIRED

no wonder no one wanted this job!!!!!!!!! it’s hard work!!!!!!!!!!

you can’t help but wonder if that water girl job is still available but the thought of having to talk to someone like min yoongi makes you nervous so you shake the thought out of your head

aLSO

namjoon is boring

SO boring

what kind of modern young man willingly wears sweaters and cardigans and button up shirts all the damn time

also?? he keeps candies in his pockets

like he’ll be sorting through some files and then stops and he rifles through his pockets and pulls out a hard candy and pops it into his mouth

they’re those salted caramel hard candies and you’ve been tempted to ask him for one but.,,.,., u don’t want any of his damn pANT candy

also he’s so quiet and you’re very chatty so that’s another thing to add to the list of things you hate about kim namjoon

whenever you try to talk about your day he replies with mm’s and ah’s but never does anything to continue the conversation so you’re left in awkward silence waiting for a reaction

aLSO he has egg salad or tuna or plain turkey sandwiches and like vegetable soup and a piece of fruit (he literally said an apple a day keeps the doctor away one time and you were like what century are you living in???) for lunch most of the time and it sTANKS it’s awful

and when you try to crack a joke he never gets the punchline which is infuriating because you like to think that you’re somewhat of a funny person

aren’t you??????

all he gives you is a polite laugh and a nod before he goes back to his book

you don’t know how long you can keep doing this

it’s been a month and a bit since you started working at the library

and namjoon would rather give himself a trillion paper cuts than work with you

you

are

awful

“y/n - you’re supposed to stamp the first page in the book - not the coVer of the book.” namjoon presses his lips together to keep himself from screaming when he sees you with a mountain of already wrONGLY stamped books

“oh. can’t you like erase the ink or something?”

“no you can’t- you can’t just erasE the ink the stamp is gonna be there forever”

“it’s okay i only stamped like 20 books” you shrug and instinctively stamp the book in your hands “…21 books”

“y/n whY… why did you use a glittery pink pen for the book record sheets”

“it makes it pretty! it’s not a big deal no one sees these sheets besides you and i” you grin and take the sheet from namjoon and he feels his soul die a little when you scribble something down with a neon green marker

also you keep giving yourself little breaks?? and the only breAK that is allowed on your schedule is your lunch break or the occasional washroom break whenever you need it

but you give yourself these nonexistent breaks

‘granola bar break’ - you take 30 minutes off to eat one single granola bar

‘texting break’ - this one’s worse because it happens more frequently like the two of you will be filing things together and namjoon likes to keep things working like a well-oiled machine but it’s hard to do that when you keep pausing to text someone and then you’re like okay where were we like it ruINS THE FLOW

‘reading break’ - THIS is awful because namjoon will see you study and he’ll be like okay at least she’s doing something educational and he peeks over and you’ve literally got your phone out scrolling through memes on instagram

and when he reprimands you for taking too many breaks you always wave him off and tell him to relax and to not get his panties in a twist

he feels like you’re doing this on purpose

pushing his buttons

getting under his skin in the worst way possible

also you keep calling him random names and he hATES IT he just wants to be called namjoon because that’s his name

“hey joon”

“namjoon”

“good morning joonie”

“namjoon”

“hi joonathan”

“joona- namjoon!”

“whaddup dimples”

“hey bookworm”

“hey nerd”

“what’s up four-eyes”

“yo yo yo dork”

“oi egghead where’d i put my phone”

“it’s namjoon - and feet off the counter” it’s almost automatic at this point when namjoon shoVes your legs off the counter and you nearly fall off your chair from the force

he gives you a warning look when you move to put your feet back up and you huff grumpily

“no messy foods in the library” you gawk when namjoon picks up your takeaway box of spaghetti and proceeds to dump it into the bin

“don’t use the books as coasters” namjoon snatches your drink and picks up the book then wipes the condensation from your drink off the front cover

“no more texting during work hours” your phone disappears from your hands and you blink down at your fingers because that was sO speedy

“oH my god am i even allowed to breathe in here???” you snap exasperatedly because you and jimin were talking about how kook slipped in the cafeteria and got banana milk all over tae’s new shoes and taheyung freAKED it was hilarious

namjoon blinks down at you before opening up a drawer and dropping your phone in there before proceeding to l o c k the drawer

are you KIDDING me

is this bitch for real???? he just locked up your phone???????

“i don’t know. your breathing is kind of loud, so we’ll have to figure out a way around that issue.” and with that he turns his back with a huff but not before turning to face you one last time so he can look you right in the eye as he drops your can of soda into the bin

it’s pretty obvious that you and namjoon most certainly do not like each other but the both of you are just being very passive aggressive and tip-toeing around the elephant in the library

you let out a breath and dig your nails into your palm

deep breaths deep breaths

we’re doing this to graduate

we can do this

aight

no biggie

remember how you promised yourself you’d be more responsible when it came to your work load

obviously you forgot about that promise

because you have a final in a week and a half that you completely forgot about that even frickin jungkook was aware about

and now you have to jam a whole semester’s worth of information into your head and finish that 12 page paper for your history class and work on your presentation for your film class and there’s just so much that you have to do and you don’t have enough time to do everything

you decided to skip your last lecture of the day (you asked tae to take notes for you and he’s usually good at that so you’re not worried) to come to the library and study

and you couldn’t find an empty table or anything so you figured you’d just study at the desk

you’re surprised to see that namjoon isn’t around because he practically lives at the library

okay it’s whatever

he’d probably distract you anyway

you plop yourself down on the chair and proceed to pull out all your notes and books and markers and you dump it all on the table

you crack your knuckles and look down at the mountain in front of you

let’s do this

namjoon hums a tune to himself as he opens the door and enters the library

he’s in an especially good mood today for some reason

the smile falters on his face when he realises that he’s going to be spending the rest of the day with you and that’s definitely going to soil his mood

ugh

you’re usually late because you always come after your classes so he expects that he’ll be in a good mood for about twenty more minutes or so

namjoon pauses when he sees the top of your head poking out from behind the front counter

you’re

on time?

he looks at his watch

no you’re not just on time

you’re… early

you’ve never been early to a shift before

how odd

maybe someone finally lit a fire under your ass and you’re finally being more responsible!!

okay

he’s still in a good mood

he’s about to give you a chirpy greeting (and this time he’s not going to correct you if you address him using another one of your lame nicknames) and then he’s suddenly aware of the scene in front of his eyes

“y/n?” namjoon furrows his brows to see you with your face buried in your arms and you’re surrounded by like teN textbooks and a lot of scrap paper with random notes scribbled on them and a million highlighters and pens “…whatcha up to?”

you don’t respond and he leans over the counter a little more

…are you even alive

suddenly you look up at namjoon

he takes a step back in surprise at the sight of your red and watery eyes and he’s like o shit she crying

“are you okay??” he unlocks the gate and steps behind the front counter to join you

“i don’t know anything, namjoon. i literally don’t know anything and my final is in a week and a half.” you sniffle and reach up to wipe your tears away

“oh god. i’m going to fail this exam and this is totally going to put my life on hold and everyone’s going to graduate before me and i’ll be stuck here because of how stupid i am” you sob and slam a textbook shut and namjoon jumps

he’s never seen you like this before

he’s never seen you so… defeated

usually you’re all smiles and you have a smartass comment ready to go at all times and even when he shuts you down you don’t let that stop you

so for the first time ever

when he sees you with puffy eyes and a trembling bottom lip and a permanent frown on your face

he feels… bad

and you called him namjoon

not joon or dimples or bookworm

namjoon

this is serious

even though you piss him off everyday because of how irritating you are

you don’t deserve to be this sad

namjoon sets his briefcase down before pulling his chair over and sitting down next to you

he looks over at all the textbooks briefly before looking up at you “what are you studying?” he hands you the box of tissues that are on his side of the desk and you thank him quietly before sniffling and wiping the tear that’s trailing down your cheek

“um, philosophy.” you sound kind of nasally from how much crying you’ve done but whatever “right now i’m looking at the main branches of philosophy but i just don’t geT it.”

“okay, well…” namjoon glances at your handwritten notes for a second and all you’ve written down is ‘philosophy notes’ with a bright purple marker

oh god

is he really going to do this

is he really going to help you right now

because he could totally just tell you to put your notes away and do your job

but instead he’s deciding that he’s going to help you study for your finals

even though you’ve been nothing but an obnoxious piece of shIT for the past two months

he’s going to help you whether you like it or not

“let’s start off with differentiating between the branches. typically, there are four branches. sometimes there are five, but for philosophy301 you just focus on four. logic, epistemology, metaphysics, and-“

“what are you doing?” you interrupt namjoon and look at him confusedly

he’s

he’s helping you?

what?

why??

whY?????

“i’m… explaining the four branches of philosophy. at least i’m trying to. what’s wrong?” he tilts his head and blinks twice “oh, you know what, maybe i shouldn’t… because i can’t focus if your study station is a pig sty.” he starts cleaning up your papers and putting your highlighters back into your pencil case

he pauses in the middle of stacking your textbooks to look at you “don’t just stare at me - clean up! and then we’ll get on with it.”

“namjoon, you don’t have to-“

“y/n, i swear to god.” namjoon groans quietly and taps the top of your head with a pen “stop being so stubborn and just be a good girl.”

you raise your hands in defence

you can’t help the little smile that twitches at the corner of your mouth

namjoon’s helping you

…you knew he had a soft spot for u

(little do you know that you have a soft spot for him too)

>:-)

namjoon spends the next two and a half hours explaining many different philosophical concepts to you and he answers every single one of your questions

at one point you get a little shy because you feel like your questions are dumb but namjoon reassures you that your questions are most certainly not dumb

he even paused to tell you a story of how in one of his classes he raised his hand and forgot what he was going to ask by the time the prof got to him so he ended up asking the prof ‘what class is this?’

that made you crack uP because you can imagine namjoon’s flushed cheeks and nervous stammer so clearly

also namjoon shared his lunch with you which was a surprise (today he brought in a turkey sandwich and an apple)

“my favourite sandwich is actually turkey on whole wheat with spicy mustard - and my favourite kind of apple is honey crisp!”

“spicy mustard is too much flavour for me. i just like putting mayo. and i’m a red apple kinda guy.”

“you’re boring” you tease him as you bite into the sandwich

“am not! don’t attack me for liking the plainer things in life!”

even though the ingredients are pretty plain somehow it still works and you find yourself scarfing it down in like thirty seconds

namjoon pulls a hard candy out of his pocket and offers it to you

“you’re giving me one of your precious candies??” you gasp and pluck it so delicately from his fingers as if it were made of glass or something

“it’s only because i feel bad for you because you criEd so don’t expect anymore candies from me” namjoon snorts and bites into an apple slice “also i always see you staring at me whenever i pull out a candy”

“it’s only because i’m wondering if they’re stale or not” you unwrap it and pop it into your mouth quickly before namjoon can take it back

“they most certainly are not!” he gasps in mock offence before reaching up to adjust his glasses

“your glasses are just as dorky as you” you reach over and brush your fingers over the thick rims and namjoon scowls before smacking your hand away

“don’t make me regret helping you and sharing my food with you” he points an accusatory finger in your direction and you grin cheekily “now, c’mon - let’s talk about famous philosophers and then we’ll start making some flash cards!”

“i like flash cards!!! ooh we can use my mArkERs-“ you start rambling excitedly about your multicoloured markers and namjoon finds himself smiling fondly as he watches you rummage through your pencil case

maybe you’re not so bad after all

“yES you got it again! alright who do we have next…” namjoon shuffles through the pile of flashcards on his lap

“okay-“ he pauses to read the notes on the back of the flashcard before holding it up for you “who is saint thomas aquinas?”

“ooh, i know this one!!” you raise your hand even though you’re the onLY One stuDYING

you’re so lame

endearingly lame

:~)

“hm, any takers?” namjoon plays along and pretends to look around a classroom of people before pointing at you “ah! yes, miss y/l/n?”

he’s just as lame as you are

you clear your throat and sit up straighter

“saint thomas aquinas was a 13th century dominican friar, theologian and doctor of the church, born in what is known today as the lazio region of italy.”

“okay, and what did he do?”

“uh, his most important contribution to western thought is the concept of natural theology! …right?”

“mm, go on” namjoon leans back against his chair and plucks at his bottom lip as he skims over the notes on the back of the card again

“he… adhered to the platonic and aristotelian principle of realism, which holds that certain absolutes exist in the universe, including the existence of the universe itself…?”

namjoon puts the card down and stares at you and ur like o shit am i wrong

a smile creeps onto his face and he raises his fist for you to bump “you got it!”

“yAY” you give him a fist bump and apologise quietly when you hear someone in the distance go ‘shh!!!!!’

they’ve shushed you like five times in the last hour

whoops

both you and namjoon exchange glances before bursting into giggles

“uGHhgH namJOoON” you groan and slump against the table as you twirl your pencil between your fingers

today’s been a pretty slow day

wednesdays are your longest days because you have classes from 9 to 6

and now you’re at the library and namjoon is forcing you to study even though you’re like hey let’s rearrange books or something!!!! let me do my job!!!!

“no complaining! now sit up straight and listen to me.”

you ignore him and continue twirling your pencil around

“y/n. sit up and listen.” he sighs and raises an eyebrow

you curse to yourself quietly before forcing yourself to sit up but you slump against the chair as if your bones were made of jelly

okay

well

better than nothing

“okay, let me tell you about the gemeinschaft-gesellschaft dichotomy. it was proposed by tönnies as a purely conceptual tool rather than an ideal type in the way it was used by max weber to accentuate the key elements of a historic or social change. got it?”

you give namjoon a pointed look before huffing “no”

namjoon lets out a slow sigh and looks through his notes again

meanwhile you’re spinning around and around on your wheely chair

namjoon’s hand shoots out and grips onto the arm of your chair to stop you “how about we take a break?”

“yEs i love that! now that i understand.” you stretch your limbs out but quickly curl up when your stomach rumbles

huh

you forgot that you didn’t get a chance to eat lunch today

namjoon clears his throat

“i actually,.., um, i brought you some food today!” namjoon turns and grabs the paper bag sitting on his desk

you raise a brow

“you did?”

that’s a surprise

that’s actually really nice of him

“you’ve been working and studying pretty hard lately so i thought i’d treat you to lunch! turkey on whole wheat with spicy mustard.” namjoon clears his throat and hands you the bag before reaching up to scratch the back of his neck “and also a honey crisp apple… and two caramel candies.”

he remembered your favourite kind of sandwich and your favourite kind of apple

which means he went out of his way to buy ingredients that he would usually stay the heck away from

that’s… that’s kind of sweet actually

“you remembered what i like?” you reach into the bag and pull out the neatly wrapped sandwich

“the, uh, the dorky glasses make me more observant” namjoon taps the frames gently and you laugh

“look, i didn’t mean- like, dorky isn’t necessarily a bad thing i just- it’s cute! you’re cute” you flush immediately wOw what is wrong with you

you clear your throat “your glasses are cute. your glasses.” you murmur

both you and namjoon avoid gazes and you don’t realise it but both your faces are on fire

namjoon twiddles with his thumbs and bites back his smile

you’re about to take a bite of your sandwich before you realise he’S not eating anything “hey, where’s your food?”

“oH, right” namjoon twists back and grabs his paper bag

“lemme guess - turkey on white with mayo with a red apple.”

“ah, nice guess, but i’m afraid you’ve been mistaken” namjoon tsks and shakes his head “it’s tuna sandwich tuesday!! and i brought a pear!”

you snort and roll your eyes playfully

only namjoon would have a tuna sandwich tuesday

“i believe that’s another point to me” namjoon leans back against his chair proudly after he makes yet anotHer paper ball dunk into the waste bin

you convinced him to take a lil break since you’ve been studying for an hour and a half and your brain is about to explode

and today you’re the one who brought lunch for him

you bought soup from the cafeteria!! luckily they made his favourite today!! chicken soup

he got so excited when you presented the little take-out bowl to him

he even offered you a spoonful and at first you were like nah but he said look the cafe’s chicken soup is AMAzing you will not regret this

he blew over it to cool it down first before feeding it to you and you were like o shit ur right this is good

he ended up feeding you a couple more spoonfuls as you looked over your notes

it was kinda cute but whateva

so it’s kind of that after-lunch lull where your tummies are full and you’re feeling lazy

which is why you and namjoon are competing in paper-ball

and namjoon is winning which is very surprising

whenever you play paper-ball with jimin you’re always in the lead so you’re not used to thIS

you’re realising now that you might be a bit of a sore loser

“it’s getting hot in here - it must be because i’m on fire.” namjoon smirks as he adds another dash under his name

“lame” you roll your eyes as you crush up another paper ball

“okay but seriously i’m like sweating” namjoon sits up and peels his sweater-vest off before unbuttoning a couple buttons on his shirt and rolling his sleeves up neatly

your eyes flicker over to his now exposed forearms

he has.,.., really sexy arms.,,.. what the hell,.,,

namjoon wheels a little closer to you until his knee is in between your legs “here lemme do it because your paper-balls all sucK” namjoon takes the ball from your hand and you feel a lil ziPzaP when his fingers brush over yours

what the hell x2.,.,.,., his hANDS.,.,.,., even his hANDS ARE SEXY

“what’s the matter with you? where’s the witty retort?” you look up from his hands quickly and namjoon’s grinning at you in a way that makes your heart skip a beat

.,.. EVEN HIS TEETH ARE PERFECT???

omg

what’s happening to you

you look away quickly and try to snap yourself out of it

what the fuck

what the fuck is happening

what’s going on with your body

why are your hands clammy

why is your heart racing like this

why do you want him to scoot evEN closer

you like namjoon

oh no

you like namjoon

oh NO sweetie you do NOT like kim namjoon

yes you do

no you don’t

mmmmmyes you do

NO you don’t you can’t like namjoon!!! he’s the worst!

he’s the best and you love him

he wears stupid sweater vests!!

he can pull it off tho and also his button-up is kind of thin today and you can see very faint outlines of his abs and it makes you want to run your hands over his bronzey smooth skin you LOVe it you perv

“y/n? you okay?” namjoon taps your knee gently and raises a brow when you jumP in your seat

“i’m good! i’m just…” you snatch the paper ball from his grasp and point to the waste bin “i’m just getting my heaD in the game because i’m going to kick your ass”

namjoon laughs before gesturing for you to throw “i’d like to see you try.” he leans back against his chair and crosses his arms

frick

even THAt was sexy

you are losing your mind

you like kim namjoon

“good morning!” namjoon plops down next to you and you let out a little yawn as a good morning “today’s the big day~” he wiggles his brows “you ready?”

you look down at your flashcards and your notes and give a little shrug

you think you’re ready?? maybe

“i guess so??” you murmur and stretch your limbs out

you decided to come to the library before your 8AM exam because.,,,.., uh.,,,.,

okay you just wanted to see namjoon so WHAT

“i have something for you-“ namjoon rummages through his bag before pulling out a bracelet looking thing

a bunch of different shades of purple threads braided together neatly

she looks a little worn out but she still cute

“this was my good luck bracelet when i was doing exams during my last year - i thought maybe you’d want to wear it or something? you don’t have to, obviously, but i know how nervous you are and… yeah, i don’t know… i just wanted to give it to you i guess“

there it is again

your heart just went boom-boom for joon-joon

you press your lips together to hold back a dorky smile before you stick your hand out for namjoon “i need all the luck i can get”

namjoon smiles and shakes his head as he ties the bracelet around your wrist carefully “you don’t need any luck. i believe in you!” he glances at the clock hanging behind you on the wall “you better get going - it’s 7:42.”

you let out a little sigh before getting up off the seat and grabbing your pencil case and your water bottle

namjoon looks up at you with a small smile “i’ll see you after your exam?” he watches as you open the little gate to step out

“if i survive, that is” you retort and namjoon rolls his eyes

you’re about to walk out but you turn around swiftly “namjoon?”

namjoon looks up at you “mm?”

“thank you… for everything.” you murmur shyly while twisting the bracelet around your wrist “you’re… not bad. not bad at all.”

you don’t really know what to saY but all you know is that you’re super appreciative and grateful to have someone like namjoon,,, care about you

and you’re already not good with emotional things so ‘you’re not bad at all’ is a pretty big thing to say in your opinion!!!

lucky for you

namjoon fully understands

namjoon’s cheeks flush slightly and he shakes his head “get outta here you sappy loser”

he lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding once you leave the library

and now that he has this moment alone

a realisation begins to creep into his mind

he likes you

well it’s pretty obvious at this point

things that used to irritate him about you are now endearing

he makes lunch for you willingly

he doesn’t flinch or move away when you initiate contact

he actually pays attention to your lame jokes

he gave you his good luck bracelet for god’s sakes

he likes you

you’ve been on edge for the whole day

this morning you got your philosophy final exam back

for a whole week this exam was on your mind and now it’s finally back in your hands and you can’t even bring yourself to look at your grade

because you’re terrified

you’re terrified that you failed yet another exam and you’ll have to graduate a year behind all of your friends and you’ll have to put your life on hold because you were a dumbass in university

and you’re terrified that you disappointed jin and jimin and namjoon

you don’t want to disappoint namjoon

but your exam has been burning a hole in your backpack and you figure that it’s now or never

“oh pleasepleaseplease” you whisper to yourself as your trembling fingers gently pull the crinkled, folded up piece of paper from your backpack

okay

hoo

okay

no need to panic

it’s just your philosophy final that you had to get at least a 90% on to make up for the rest of your shitty grades in that course

you pinch the corner of the page getting ready to flip it open

you take your bottom lip in between your teeth nervously

you squeeze your eyes shut

it’s now or never

you unfold it in one smooth motion and the paper makes a thwacking sound as you do so

you peel an eye open

you peel the other eye open

and the blood drains from your face

namjoon’s in the middle of putting books back onto the shelves

it’s the end of the day and there aren’t a lot of people around so it’s nice and quiet

namjoon likes these nice and quiet days

it’s just him and the books

him and his library

and then he hears something

frantic footsteps slapping against the floor in the distance

huh

someone must be in a rush

he furrows his brows when the footsteps get louder

and he whips around to look at the entrance of the library with narrowed eyes

…

bAM

he yelps in fear when the doors suddenly buRST open and a manic-looking you appears with wide eyes and a huGe (slightly terrifying) grin

you look around the library before you lock gazes with namjoon and if it’s even possible your smile grows wider

oh good god

you look like what’d he’d see in the corner of his room if he ever got sleep paralysis

“what-“

“yoU BEAUTIFUL TREE OF A MAN I LOVE YOU” the next thing namjoon knows you’re leaping into his arms and he quickly grips under your thighs instinctively so that you don’t fall flat on your ass

he stumbles backwards a little and his fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs as you smoosh kisses all over his face

he’s certainly not complaining but whAt the hell is going on

you drop back down onto your feet and you unravel your arms around namjoon’s neck and throw your hands up in the air “i goT 98% ON MY EXAM” you squeal excitedly before wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug and bouncing up and down and oHHH now he sees why you’re acting like a psychopath

“see!!!! i told you you could do it i’m sO ProuD of you!!!!!!!” namjoon grins and wraps his arms around your waist and twirls you around in a circle “98% is so good!!!!!”

“i know!! i never get a 98% on anything!!!” you giggle and pull away from the crook of his neck

your arms are still wrapped around his neck and his arms are still wrapped around your waist

your breathing slows down a bit as you start to calm down and

your faces are very very close

and suddenly

you feel this overwhelming urge to kiss namjoon

you want him to kiss you

namjoon’s eyes flicker down to your lips and you feel your heart pounding in your chest

it’s going to happen

he’s going to kiss you

you’re disappointed when he quickly takes a step back and pulls away from you

you clear your throat and smooth your skirt down and namjoon adjusts his wonky glasses

both of your guys’ faces are on fire

“anyways - 98% is really good! aim for 99% next time.” namjoon teases and turns around to look at his book cart again and the moment he turns away from u he mouths a ‘wHAT THE FUCK’ to himself because WHAT THE FUCK

meanwhile your face is on fire because that was deFINTEly something

you guys had a moment

does this mean namjoon likes you back

omg

doES IT?????

“joon” you approach him and tap his shoulder gently before standing next to him

“mhm?” he glances at you briefly before looking back at the books on the cart

you get up on your tiptoes and plant a little smooch on his cheek and namjoon freezes immediately

“is there anything for me to do?” you ask casually as if you didn’t just kiSS HIS CHEEK

“u-uh-“

“oh shoot you know what i was organising the thriller novels before my exam and i never finished doing that! let me go do that now and then you can give me something else to do” you disappear in between the shelves and namjoon blinks owlishly

he reaches up and brushes his fingers over his hot cheek

and the FATTEST smile appears on his face

today’s been kind of a slow day

namjoon texted you earlier and said he’d be in late today

so here you are

sitting behind the front counter

alone

well, not exactly

lisa, wendy and jisoo came to keep you company even though you insisted you were fine

they texted and asked if you wanted to grab some lunch and when you didn’t respond they all came to ambush you at the library

“yeah, sure! as soon as namjoon gets here we can go get some food.” you smile politely before looking back down at the computer

these girls,,, well they’re not your frieNds exactly

they’re in a couple of your classes

let’s just say they’re a whole lot more popular than you think you’ll ever be

they’ve taken a liking to you for some reason and you don’t mind because the more the merrier!! also it’s kinda cool because in high school you were never really friends with the ‘’’’’cool gals’’’’’’ so there’s that too

also you think another reason why they hang around you is because you’re friends with guys like jimin and jungkook and you don’t want to be that person but like..,,. YEaH ur boy-friends are really attractive so it makes sense to go through you to get to them (spoiler alert jimin and jungkook do not like any single one of these girls but you don’t have the heart to break the news to them)

“namjoon… why does that name sound so familiar” lisa furrows her brows and leans against the counter

“remember? he was that guy in our philosophy lecture last year - the one who sat at the front? he graduated last year” you hum and scribble something down

“oh shit, i remember!!!” lisa gasps “…oh god, he was awful. such a try-hard”

wait what

your head pops up and you furrow your brows “well like he’s not a try-hard he’s just passionate about-“

“i hated him. he kept reminding the prof to give us pop quizzes” wendy shudders

“i bet he’s still a virgin”

“who cares if he-“

“i bet he hasn’t had his first kiss yet”

“we can’t just assume that he hasn’t just because he-“

“yeah, i wouldn’t be surprised” jisoo snorts “who the hell would wanna kiss someone who looks like that?”

what the hell

what kind of assholey thing was that to say??

“…what?”

“oh, c’mon, y/n. the sweater vests. the pervert glasses.”

“he’s tall and gangly. no meat on his bones??”

“i could never even imagine dating a loser like that!”

and suddenly you remember why you don’t like these girls

namjoon is in a very vEry good mood today

and now he gets to spend the rest of the day with you so he’s teN times happier!!!!!!!

plus he brought lunch for you again because he knows that sometimes you neglect your stomach and he can’t have that (and as cute as your stomach rumbles are he wants to make sure you’re eating and not skipping lunch just because you’re too lazy to line up)

he hopes you like the sandwich

he cut it into the shape of a heart just because he thought it was kinda cute

and uh

the heart-sandwich kind of emphasises the fact that he likes you a lot

ALSO

he picked out a bunch of little daisies from the ground on his way here

and he tied them together in a little bouquet using a blade of grass

very rustic looking bouquet but still adorable!!

he looked like a madman yanKIng all the daisies out of the ground but u know what he’s embracing it because he’s a fool in LOVe

he accidentally stepped on a couple daisies and was like yikes

and he has a couple specks of dirt on his shirt but he’ll deal with it later

anyways

today’s the day he’s going to tell you that he likes you ~romantically~ and he’s going to ask if you wanna grab dinner after you guys leave the library tonight

he even made reservations at this cute cafe he hopes you’ll like

and he’s dressed extra spiffy today

his hair is swept back neatly and he even used a lil more gel to keep every strand in place

there’s not one speck of dust on his glasses lens

he ironed his tie and his button-up

and he’s wearing a brand new expensive cologne

all for you!!!!!! because you are woRth it

his heart skips a bit at the mere thought of your smile and that adorable giggle and the way your nose crinkles when he scolds you playfully

frick he likes u sO MCUH

he decides to take the back door today

just because the romance books are on the shelves in the back and he’s in a romantic mood and wants to pick out a book for you to read

he’s thinking Jane Austen’s ‘Persuasion’ is a good one

namjoon’s finger brushes over the spines of the books on the shelves as he looks for it

he perks up when he finds it

perfect!!!!!!!

he tucks the book under his arm and adjusts his book bag on his shoulder and triple checks that he has everything

sandwich? check

new book?? got it

flowers???? yEs

say it with me now: hoTEL?trivAGo

he hears the murmuring of some voices as he nears the front and he freezes when he hears his name float through the air

hm?

he pokes his head out from around the corner and sees you and a couple of who he can safely assume are your girl friends because they’re all giggling about something

namjoon furrows his brows and stays hidden behind a bookshelf

a little eavesdropping never hurts nobody

“you would never go out with someone like namjoon, right? i know i wouldn’t” lisa taps the top of your head to get your attention “not even if we were the last people on earth”

“yeah, i don’t think i would either” you reply automatically because if you said yEs i’d go for namjoon (and u totally would) you’d never hear the end of it

((but at the same time who cares about what these girls think?? they’re not ur real friends))

you don’t want to go out with them anymore

as soon as this conversation ends you’re kicking these assholes the heck out of the library

but you can’t kick them out without saying something nice about namjoon because ?? namjoon is one of the sweetest guys ever and they need to be aware of that

“but without him i wouldn’t have passed my exam so i have to give him some credit for that” you point out and hope that they’ll cut him some slack

wendy leans against the counter and gasps

“oh, i love that, you cold-hearted bitch!!! taking advantage of the smarty-pants virginey loser to pass your exams?? geniuS”

okay

that didn’t exactly work out

“you would never go out with someone like namjoon, right? i know i wouldn’t”

“yeah, i don’t think i would either”

…

…what?

namjoon deflates and he feels his heart clench in his chest

his fingers tighten around the paper bag and he takes a small step back

frick

he knew this day was going too well

you…

you really wouldn’t want to go out with him?

you wouldn’t even give him one chance?

was he really that awful?

“but without him i wouldn’t have passed my exam so i have to give him some credit for that”

“oh, i love that, you cold-hearted bitch!!! taking advantage of the smarty-pants, virginey loser to pass your exams?? geniuS”

namjoon’s eyes flutter shut and he presses his lips together

of course

of coursE this would happen to him

you were the one person that he thought might’ve actually like him back and it turns out you were only using him to pass your exams

how could he not have seen that????

you???? being interested in him?????

i m p o s s i b l e

you don’t go for dorky librarians like him

you go for guys like min yoongi and jeon jungkook and park jimin

well now he just feels stupid

he has a stupid heart shaped sandwich and a stupid honey crisp apple and a stupid packet of animal crackers in this stupid paper bag that has your name on it because he has a stupid crush on you and he really thought you liked him back and he was looking forward to taking you out on a stupid stUPID date

but of course the inevitable happens

you don’t like him… at all.

you used him?

your fingers tighten around the pen and you bite down on your tongue

these girls are getting on your nerves now

whatever

you’re kicking them out now you’re done with this

“anyways - as much as i wanna talk about how much of a loser kim namjoon is,” you say sarcastically and make air quotes “i think i have some work to do so i’m going to have to put a rain check on-“

you jump when you hear the sound of some books toppling off the shelf and everyone immediately looks at the source of the sound

you stand up and peek over the girls’ shoulders

and the blood immediately drains from your face

“n-namjoon?”

oh,,,., god

oh no no nO

did he hear everything you said??

namjoon doesn’t think it’s possible for his heart to break even more

but then

“anyways - as much as i wanna talk about how much of a loser kim namjoon is, i think i have some work to do so i’m going to have to put…”

ouch

okay

big yikes

this did not go according to plan at all

maybe he should head out the back door and then come in through the front door and just act like everything is normal

yes

that’s a good plan

namjoon turns around to leave but he stumbles over his feet a little and his hands reach out to grip onto the bookshelf

instead what happens is he shoves a couple books riGHt off the shelf and namjoon curses before automatically dropping to his knees to pick them up

“n-namjoon?”

oh shit

where does he go from hERE

namjoon freezes like a deer in headlights and he swallows thickly before slowly turning to look up at you “u-uh, i-i-“

“hey, look what the cat dragged in!” wendy coos and namjoon feels his heart starting to race in his chest when the girls approach him “what do we have here, hm?”

before he has the chance to pick up the paper bag jisoo snAtches it from the ground

“oh, y/n! it’s for you!” she unrolls the top and reaches it before pulling out the sandwich

she coos before pushing her bottom lip out in a mocking pout “aw, isn’t that cute? a wittle heart shaped sandwich for y/n!” her eyes flicker down to the bouquet of daisies that have now been tramPled on “and a bouquet of weeds!! ever the romantic, aren’t you??”

namjoon feels his entire face flush bright red and he’s struggling to put the books back onto the shelf

he’s just doing whatever it takes to avoid eye contact with the girls

“you’re looking a little red, namjoon. maybe you should take that cardigan off?” wendy pinches his cheek and namjoon gets off his knees immediately

although he towers over them he knows they’re the ones holding the power in this moment

“what’s the matter? you’re not even going to say hi to y/n??” lisa frowns before gesturing to you

namjoon locks gazes with you and your heart clenches when you’re able to see the pure hurt and pain in his glassy eyes

he looks away from you immediately and bends down to grab his bag

“nam-“ the next thing you know he spRints towards the front door and leaves

all three girls burst into laughter and jisoo tosses the paper bag and the flowers onto the front counter and it lands right in front of you

your heart tightens at the sight of your name scribbled on it with a little heart drawn next to it

you pick up the bouquet of daises and they flop down against your fingers sadly

“…you guys are assholes” you hiss and start packing up your things

“what? y/n, what’s wr-“

“all of you - get out!” you snap and point towards the door as you zip your backpack up frantically

the girls all exchange glances before scoffing and leaving the library

good fucking riddance

you basically leAp over the gate and sprint towards the front door

you’re not technically supposed to leave the library because no one’s at the front desk but you need to find namjoon

jesus

you should’ve said something!!! you should’ve stuck up for joon!!!! why didn’t you???

why didn’t you stick up namjoon who always makes sure you’re drinking enough water and eating enough food and not skipping meals and who always offers to get you a snack whenever he goes to the cafe and is always very patient with you when he’s teaching you something new and is always giving you new books to read

namjoon with his boisterous laugh when you or that shy giggle he does where he covers his mouth and his eyes crinkle

namjoon who makes you feel happy and safe and warm and smart and all the good things in the world

namjoon who makes your heart go boom-boom because of how sweet and caring and wonderful he is

namjoon who has two left feet and has officially tripped his way into your heart

you look like a maniac because you’re sprinting everywhere to try and find namjoon but you seriously don’t know where he is

you’re out of breath and your bag is flopping against your back anD you’re holding onto the daises and the paper bag for dear life

you spend an hour trying to find namjoon

but he’s nowhere to be found

you end up back at the library and you let out a sigh as you shut the gate behind you

it’s the end of the day so there’s nobody around really

the sun is beginning to set

you groan and slam your head against the desk in frustration

you

are

an idiot

congratulations, y/n y/l/n - you fucked up.

“thank you” namjoon smiles at the waitress before sitting up a little straighter and reaching out for the sandwich on his plate

he takes a small bite and his eyes flicker to across the booth where you should be

suddenly he’s not feeling very hungry anymore

he swallows his bite and pushes the plate away before slumping against the booth and looking out the window of the cafe

he curses to himself when he feels a lump growing in his throat

he feels dumb crying over you

he should’ve known you would never go for someone like him

he sniffles and reaches up to dab away the single tear that’s threatening to spill over

namjoon doesn’t come to work the next day

instead you’re met with the sight of some random guy sitting behind the counter

his name is hoseok and he’s all smiles and you’re sure he’s a nice guy but he’s really getting on your nerves right now

and he has the audacity to ask you if you need help with anything

he’s sitting in namjoon’s chair!!!!!!

“sorry- where’s namjoon?” you interrupt his little rant about his day and he blinks at you

“hm? oh! uh, not sure… would you like me to try contacting him for you? if you have a question about how things work around here you can always ask me! i used to work at the library but they told me i talked too much buT here i am again because-”

oh my god this guy is infuriating

namjoon doesn’t come to work the next day

or the next

you’re starting to get worried

you’ve texted him - no response

you’ve called him - no response

you talked to jin and jin told you that you actually have enough extra credit now!! so you’ve been relieved of your librarian duties buT since namjoon isn’t there you can fill in for him til he comes back

“i thought i was supposed to continue working there til the end of the semester? and after the semester ends i’ll get the extra credit?”

“yeah, i thought so too - but i guess you’ve done such a good job that namjoon’s given you extra exTra credit!! good job!!!” jin grins and claps his hands together “goodbye summer school!!!!!! now, listen, let’s not fail our courses so that i don’t have to have this discussion with you again, how about we…”

o god

namjoon doesn’t want you around anymore thAt’s why he gave you the all extra credit immediately

you slump against the seat as jin continues to blab about a study plan for you

what are you doing to do now?

two weeks pass by and you’ve gone to the library every single day in hopes that namjoon will be there

instead you’re met with hoseok’s smiling face

side note: you’ve warmed up to him he’s actually really sweet

but you just

you miss your joonie

so when you walk into the library after a particularly tiring day and see namjoon sitting at the desk instead of hoseok

you’re understandably a little shook

“namjoon?? where have you been????” you gasp and shut the gate behind you “i-i’ve texted and i tried calling you but you-“

“i just needed a break.” namjoon shrugs

there’s an awkward silence between the two of you and you pluck at a loose thread on your sweater

okay

you need to say something

you had something planned out but for some reason you can’t remember what you were going to say

how about you start off with sorry

okay

that’s a good plan

start off with sorry

easy peasy lemon squeezy

you clear your throat and sit down in your chair before scooting closer to namjoon

he doesn’t budge

that’s a good sign.,., right

“hey, uh, look - i’m sorry-“

“it’s fine.” namjoon replies softly and flips to the next page in his book

it’s obviously not

he can’t even look you in the eye

“namjoon, i-“

“i think you should go. people who aren’t librarians aren’t supposed to be behind the desk.” namjoon snaps his book shut before getting up off his seat and walking over to the gate

he holds it open for you

okay

you deserve that

“i just wanted to say that i’m sorry-“

“yeah, i got it. is there anything else i can help you with?”

god

u feel awful

you pluck at the purple bracelet around your wrist nervously

“please, just give me a second to explain-“

“you’ve done plenty of explaining. i get it. i’m not good enough for little miss y/n y/l/n.” namjoon scoffs “message received loud and clear.”

“no, that’s not tru-“

“now if you’ll excuse me, i have some students waiting who actually need help.” namjoon gestures to the line of students before pointing at the gate

you swallow the lump in your throat and you stand up and grab your bag

difficult difficult orange difficult

namjoon feels a twinge of guilt nibbling away at his conscience

it’s been about

five days? since he last saw you

five days since you tried apologising and he didn’t even give you a second to explain yourself which honestly wasn’t fair of him

and he wants to talk to you and stuff but,..,., like.,. he’s never experienced anything like this before and he doesn’t know what to do

are the two of you just going to avoid each other for the rest of your time here

the only time you interact will be when you check out a book at the library which very rarELy happens

he can’t help but wonder when he’ll see you again

the next time he sees you he’s definitely going to say something

and it seems like someone up there is either on his side or really hates him

because there you are

behind the counter

but he hasn’t had a chance to prepare for this situation and whAT IS HE GOING TO SAY TO U

it’s then that he notices that something is off

“y/n? what are you doing here? you don’t work here anymore and… it’s saturday.”

namjoon jumps when you whIP around clutching a bunch of books to your chest

“i put all the returned books away. i stamped all the new books on the first page and not the front cover-“

namjoon can barely pay attention to what you’re saying because you look

well

you looking a little rough girl

there are bags under your bloodshot eyes

your hair is pulled up into a messy bun

there’s a pen stuck through the bun

your reading glasses are tangled in your hair

“i also put the new books into the cataloguing system so you don’t have to spend this weekend doing that anymore!! you can go home and rest if you want!! i-i can take care of it!!”

“how long have you been h-“

“i’ve restrung all the old books that are falling apart! i-i vacuumed behind the desk and i dusted the bookshelves too-“ you gesture wildly to the bookshelves

“y/n - jesus, you look like you’re about to pass out i think you should rest” namjoon rushes behind the counter and grabs onto your shoulders to steady you because you’re starting to sway a little bit

even though he’s still hurt by what happened he’s not going to prioritise thAt before you especially since you don’t look so good right now

also now that a good amount of time has passed he’s slowly starting to get over it

if you don’t like him like that then you don’t like him like that

there’s nothing he can do about it

he just has to accept it

“no namjoon listen to me look i even restocked on those black pens you like so much and i didn’t use my glittery pink pens when i labelled the books!” you sniffle and look up at him with watery eyes before gesturing to the cup of pens

“yes, i see that-“

“i just need you to know how sorry i am, okay?”

“yes, and i’ve forgiven you-“

“no, you haven’t! you haven’t forgiven me and i can see why! if i were in your shoes i wouldn’t forgive me! i’m just an asshole and there’s literally no excuse in the world to defend what i said about you and i feel awful and i’d understand if you never wanna see me again because i would never wanna see me again-“

“-y/n-“

“but you’re literally the sweetest guy i’ve ever met and i like you so sO much and you didn’t have to help me study for my finals and you didn’t have to give me extra credit-“

“-y/n-“

“and you need to know that i don’t think all those awful things about you i was just being stuPId because those girls make me act stupid and i don’t know i should’ve defended you but i didn’t but i reaLLy wanted to but i-i just froze and i didn’t know what to do and aLSO i’m not letting you give me extra credit because i’m smart enough to know that i have to finish working for a full semester before you administer extra credit-

“oH my god will u just shUT UP”

in a raRe act of spontaneity namjoon grabs your cheeks and bends down and plants his lips right against yours

and as cheesy as it seems

f i r e w o r k s

your eyes flutter shut and you fist namjoon’s shirt in your hands as you kiss him back

and then namjoon realizes the the fact he’s kissing you

he’s kissing you

he pulls away quickly and steps back and you immediately miss his warmth but also

he just kissed you

did that really happen??

or are you overtired and you just dreamt that whole thing up??

“wha…”

“i forgive you, alright? and… you can come back and work here for your extra credit.” namjoon clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck “now go and take a nap before you pass out right here right now”

his entire face is on fire

what the hell was THAT

namjoon watches as you lie down behind the counter and cuddle up to a makeshift pillow (his hoodie that he let you borrow after a long night of studying)

a couple days go by

things are

kinda normal ??

you guys are slowly falling back into your old routine

you apologise again and namjoon reassures you that he’s forgiven you and tells you to stop saying sorry before he kicks you out again

you get a chance to fully explain the situation and noW namjoon definitely forgives you

it was a misunderstanding and yeah he was pretty hurt but

he’s over it now

and he tells you to quit apologising otherwise he’ll make you a sandwich with no mayonnaise at aLL and you shut up immediately

also

you two haven’t brought up the kiss at all

namjoon is mortified

he’s never going to be spontaneous ever again

do you even remember kissing him?? (yes u do and ur freaking out about it)

god he hopes not

jeSus

if it isn’t obvious by now namjoon is a lil bit of a coward

it’s not his fault!!!!

why would a sane person want to step out of their comfort zone?? just STAY in the comfort zone that’s why it’s called the C OM F O R T zone

things that are within the vicinity of kim namjoon’s comfort zone:

1) adding a touch of sriracha to his sandwiches for a LITTLE bit of a kick

2) drinking soup and wearing a crisp, white button-up because he’s very neat and is 100% positive he won’t get a droplet of soup on his shirt

3) not making a move on you because he doesn’t know what to do and if he doesn’t know what to do he’s just going to leave it like that

you, on the other hand

you are very different

things that are within the vicinity of y/n y/l/n’s comfort zone:

1) adding a SHITloAD of spicy mustard to your sandwiches because p a i n i s p le a su re

2) drinking soup and wearing a white tee-shirt because who cares?? if u stain the shirt you can just say you bought it like that AND it gives your clothes more character

3) making many maNy moves on namjoon to try and encourage him to reciprocate affection and eventually admit that he has feelings for you

“good morning, joonie~” namjoon’s eyes pop open when you lean down and plant a ‘’;’friendly’;;’;’ kiss on his cheek

that was unexpected

“morning” he clears his throat and stays quiet as you sit down and pull your things out

you wheel closer to him and look down at the desk “whatcha doin?”

“uh,” namjoon looks down at the book on the desk “re-binding a book… it, um, it was kinda falling apart but to be fair it’s a really old book so i can see why-“

“do you need help??” you reach over and brush your fingers over where namjoon’s holding the spine of the book down as he waits for the glue to dry

his cheeks immediately buRST into flames and he yanks his hand away before breaking into a nervous laugh “no!! it’s okay!!! i- uh, i suddenly remembered i.,,. i have to pEE” the chair spiNS in circles from how quickly he zippEd off of it and you let out a small breath

this is going to be a lot harder than u thought

“y/n, where did you- oh, there you are! your soup is getting cold” namjoon scratches the back of his neck

he furrows his brows when he sees you on your tip-toes on the toP STEP of the very VERY old wooden ladder

you turn to glance at him “oh, hey! i’ll be right there. i’m just cataloguing some of these older books”

“okay, um- maybe you should use the metal ladder instead?? didn’t i tell you the wooden one is basically falling apart?” namjoon adjusts his collar nervously

o god

his palms are getting sweaty

you look down at the ladder before shaking your head

“you never told me that”

LIES

he DID tell you that but this is all part of your master scheme

>:-)

although you’re probably going to break every single bone in ur body if you’re not careful so u should probably get off soon

you’re not aware of this yet but the weak wood is starting to splinter a bit under your weight

“i’m fine, joon. look!” namjoon’s heart stops in his chest when you stomp down on the step in a poor attempt to prove its stability “see?? totally fine”

oh my god

you’re purposely trying to kill him aren’t you

luckILY it doesn’t fall apart

and then he hears the first splinter

and a crack

and another crack

namjoon’s superman instincts immediately kick into gear and he zips towards you when the ladder suddenly snaps and you’re sent hurdLING TO THE GROUND

you find yourself in namjoon’s arms in a millisecond after falling and you blink up at him “holy shit”

“i toLD YOU” namjoon scolds and doesn’t budge when you slip an arm around his shoulder and praCTIcally cuddle up to him “i told you the wooden one was crap but you neveR listen to me and you could’ve seriously hurt yourself and whAT was the whole stomping thing are you an IDIOT-“

“you care about me” you grin and poke his chest and namjoon glances down at you

he clears his throat

“of course i care about u” he lets you back down onto your feet and takes a step away from you “now come and eat ur stupid soup before i smack u”

somehow you end up tricking namjoon into feeding you spoonfuls of soup because you’re “still shaken up from what just happened”

namjoon rolls his eyes at your antics but uh

he plays along

:-)

“y/n y/l/n??? reading??? preposterous!” you look up from your book when namjoon suddenly appears and sets a stack of books on the countertop

“don’t use your fancy vocabulary in front of me, you know i only know like 3 words maximum”

“what are you reading?” he adjusts his glasses and peeks over a little

“i don’t even know what i’m reading. i just picked it up because i was bored. it’s called ‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’. i thought it was about pirates but it’s….. noT.”

of course u thought it was about pirates

“oh! i’ve read that one! Louis de Bernières, right?”

you close the book to look at the front cover

“ya it’s lewis dee bearnards.”

namjoon looks at you like,, okay A+ for effort

“read it out loud”

“don’t you have work to do?”

“i do, but read a line to me! refresh my memory”

“alright, alright - here” you lean your elbows on the counter so that you’re right next to namjoon

you clear your throat and open the book to find where you were at

“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.”

“Because this is what love is.” namjoon quotes quietly and you put the book down

the two of you lock gazes and you can’t help but notice that something feels different between the two of you

and then you find yourself leaning closer

and closer

and-

“anYways it’s a really good boOk” namjoon suddenly stands up before clumsily picking up the stack of books “i’ll be in the back!!!!!!”

you groan quietly

SO close

“thanks for walking me home” you smile up at joon and he nods in response “and thanks for lending me your cardigan”

you slip your arm from his as you go to unlock your door

you turn around and wrinkle your nose “you probably want your cardigan ba-“

“you can keep it!” namjoon blurts out and quickly looks away “i mean, um… if you want. you can keep it. so next time you have something to keep you warm when it’s cold?”

you press your lips together to hide your grin and you nod and look down at the plain brown cardigan “okay, well… thanks again.” you murmur and take a lil step closer to namjoon

he looks up at you in surprise and you can FEEL the magnetic attraction bringing the two of you closer and closer

it’s going to happen

he’s going to kiss you at your front door

and it’s going to be magical

and then-

“i think i left my oven on at home” namjoon breathes out and he’s SO close you feel his breath wash over your lips “can i text you later?”

god DAMNIT

this is fucking ridiculous

you and joon keep having these almost-kiss moments and you will GLADLY smooch the man but he backs out every time and is like hOohOo i’ll be in the back!!!!!!!!! or he’ll be like i NEED 2 PEE or like i NEED TO READ A BOOK NOW

whenever you’re standing near him or your knee brushes over his when you guys are sitting with each other he gets all nervous and jittery and his face gets all flushed and then he’s like i NEED TO DUST SOMETHING

and then when he leaves each time you have to refrain yourself from grabbing the stapler and like stapling your fingers together out of frustration

he’s just so!!!!!!!! he’s being such a nAMJOON

you’ve never really chased a guy down like this before

and at first it was fun but now you’re just frustrated

so you’ve finally decided it’s time for the last resort

as much as you hate confrontation

it’s necessary in this situation

“i have a question for you” you murmur as you scribble a note down in your journal

it’s a pretty quiet afternoon in the library (as per usual except there are less people here since exam season is over)

namjoon’s sitting behind the counter and you’re standing in front of it doing your work because you felt like your ass was going to fall off from how numb it became due to you sitting on it for like 5 hours straight

you set your pencil down quietly “joon.”

namjoon sighs and flips through his book “if it’s about the online library system i told you you have to hit the big green button for it to sav-“

“why don’t you wanna kiss me again? i know you like me too”

wait wat

namjoon chokes on his tea and pats his chest a couple times before quickly adjusting his glasses

did you just

did he hear you right

what the fu

what???

what’s happening

is this a fever dream

you like him too?

“sorry - w-what?”

“i said - i know you like me too. so what’s the problem, dimples?” you lean over on the counter and prop your chin up on your palm

what’s the problem?

the problem is that this is way too good to be true

he knows exactly what’s happening

you don’t like him you only think you like him

he doesn’t need your pity

you’re only saying you like him because he’s the lame librarian and he’s not mr athlete like yoongi and you’re trying to make him feel better

“i- who- look, i don’t know who put this ridiculous idea in your head, but i-i don’t!” namjoon gets up from his chair quickly and walks out from behind the counter

the little gate snAPS shut

“why’d you kiss me in the first place then??”

…,.,.touché

“to get you to shuT uP” namjoon explains as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world even though he’s definitely lying thru his teeth right now

“to get me to shut up mY ASS”

namjoon bites down on in inside of his cheek and suppresses a groan

OH my god you are so IRRITATING

“wha- if anything, i think you’re the most infuriating, annoying, and obnoxious girl i’ve ever met!” namjoon takes a step towards you and towers over you but you don’t budge “you- you always crash the cataloguing system and you never put the books back in alphabetical order like you’re supposed to and on top of that you’re always bringing your dumb snacks in here and you always leave crumbs everywhere for me to clean up even though i’ve told you multiple times you have to clean up after yoursel- mmph!”

namjoon’s eyes go as wide as saucers when you’re suddenly grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and yanking him down so that you can kiss him

S M O O C H

you pull away and namjoon blinks quickly before his cheeks flare up

you let go of his collar and smooth it down before prodding your finger into his chest accusingly

“you have all these complaints about me yet you never activELy try to stop me and that signals to me that yoU LIKE ME- oh!” namjoon’s suddenly grabbing your waist and pushing you up against the counter and then he leans down to mash his lips against yours

you feel the sting from where the counter is digging into your back but holy shit you do noT give a fuck right now

his hands are cupping your face and he tilts his head to deepen the kiss

namjoon licks into your mouth and you let out a small noise of surprise

you whimper and tug at his tie to pull him even closer to you

“waIt wait wait oh god this is highly inappropriate y/n we’re in an educational setting” namjoon pulls away from you and you find yourself chasing after his lips before you’re like you’rE right you’re right

so the two of you step away from each other and you smooth out your shirt while namjoon adjusts his collar

the two of you look at each other and lock gazes

…

and then you’re immediately lunging at each other again and namjoon’s strong arms wrap around your waist while your arms wrap around his neck

he lifts you up in one swift movement and you find yourself sitting on the countertop leaning down to kiss joon while he slots himself in between your legs and places one hand on your waist while the other rests on your thigh

“you’re a very good kisser” you murmur into the kiss

“don’t underestimate me” he squeezes your thigh and you smack his hand away when it starts sliding up higher and higher

“so are you still positive that you don’t like me back?” you pout and slide a hand down his chest and namjoon reaches up to wrap his fingers around your wrist

he purses his lips and pretends to think “you might have to kiss me again and then i’ll have a definite answer for you”

you giggle and cup his cheeks before leaning in to give him a sweet little peck and namjoon hums happily

“…yeah, i definitely like you back”

the two of you can’t hide the fat grins on your faces

god bless the library

surprisingly enough you aren’t actually that much of a party person

just because going to parties requires so much damn effort

you take like two hours to slather 10 pounds of makeup on your face and another hour to squeeze into a saucy outfit

and then when you get to the frat house it’s all dark inside so doing your makeup wasn’t even worth it

and when you sit down you have to sit straight otherwise you’ll buSt out of your jeans

you only go to parties because of jimin

he usually takes care of the drinks and it would be plain rude of you to say no to free drinks!!!!!!!!

the basketball team is celebrating their big win and they’re going aLL out and they asked jimin to take care of the drinks for them at this party and so jimin was like ya you don’t have a choice you have to come to the party

and you know jimin’s going to be busy all night so you invited namjoon to come along

no offence to your sweet boyfriend but you hope he doesn’t get too overwhelmed because he gets overwhelmed pretty easily

obviously parties aren’t his scene which isn’t a bad thing

you told him that if he was uncomfortable and wanted to leave you would totally leave with him

you’re predicting that he’s going to show up in a sweater vest or something

bless him

to be fair you’re wearing one of his cardigans over your outfit right now just because it’s still a little chilly out anD the cardigan kind of matched with your ~lewk~ for the night

and also it smells like him and makes u feel cozy

:~)

“look at this set up! this is like a legit bar” you smooth your hands over the marble countertop and jimin nods enthusiastically

“i know right!!! you’re lucky that you’re friends with the bartender - so what can i get for you tonight, ma’am?” jimin smirks and tosses a rag over his shoulder before wiggling his brows

“surprise me, minnie” you grin

“where’s namjoon?” jimin plops a chunk of lime into the shaker

“he’s on his way! he wanted to stay back and clean up before coming here and he-“ your phone suddenly buzzes in your pocket “-and he’s calling me right now pardon me” jimin nods and wanders off to the other end of the bar for the ice

“hello?”

“hey, i just got here - where are you?”

“i’m by the bar! i’m wearing your cardigan so-“

“oh! okay, i see you. i’ll see you in a sec” you hang up and slip your phone into your back pocket and jimin wanders back over with your drink

“i’ll start you off with a spicy blackberry margarita” you ‘ooh’ in amazement because this looks like a veRy fancy drink

jimin watches you expectantly as you take a sip and your eyes pop open “this is SO good!!!!! please keep them coming or i’m suing” you murmur while taking the straw in between your lips again

“hi baby” you feel someone slip an arm around you from behind and you immediately recognise that musky cologne when joon props his chin up on your shoulder

“mm- hey dweeb” you pop a quick kiss on his cheek but you’re not really paying attention because this drink is bOMB

“what are you drinking?”

“it’s a spicy blackberry margarita. did you wanna try- woah.” you choke on your drink when namjoon sits on the stool next to you and you get a really reALLy good chance to look at your boyfriend because sweetie this is not your boyfriend

he has his hair slicked back

he’s not wearing his glasses

he has two small silver hoops hanging from his ears

he’s wearing a plain white tee that is very veRy tight around his biceps and a pair of ripped skinny jeans anD a pair of timberlands

y/n.exe has stopped working

“-whaaaaaaauhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-“

whose mans is this

is this your mans???

this is your mans????

“aren’t you going to give me a proper kiss hello?” namjoon tilts his head and pouts

what the hell

what the hell?////???

“who are you and what did you do to namjoon?????” you manage to squeak out

he rolls his eyes playfully before leaning in and slotting his lips against yours

“cute outfit, by the way. a cardigan’s kinda dorky for a house party though, don’t you think?” he raises a brow and tugs you off your seat so you can stand in between his legs

“you’re calling me dorky??”

“i’m not the one wearing a cardigan at a party. have you never been to a party before?” namjoon slips his hands under the cardigan and rests his hands on your hips and gives you a little squeeze

“excuse-“

“y/n! hey, girl!” you feel a little piece of your soul die when you hear that familiar pitchy voice

you spin around in namjoon’s grip so that he’s hidden behind you

“wendy! …hey…” you clear your throat

you haven’t spoken to wendy or the others since the incident

just because they’re assholes and u don’t really,.,., like assholes??

“ugh, i’m so glad you made it! look, the girls and i just wanted to give you an apology.”

“well it’s not me you should be apologising to” you raise a brow

wendy scoffs playfully “well it’s not like kim namjoon would be at this party. you can just apologise to him for us or something!”

suddenly namjoon yanks you down so that you’re sitting on his leg

his arm slithers around your waist and your arm hangs loosely around his neck

“wendy! so nice to see you again!” before you get the chance to say anything namjoon offers the three girls a charming smile

.,,.,.god his teeth are literally perfect

wendy’s brows furrow in confusion

“see you agai- wait, namjoon?” she gawks and you feel a twinge of anger when her eyes graze him from his head to his toes

lisa and jisoo exchange glances before murmuring things to each other

you catch a glimpse of lisa staring at namjoon as if he were a piece of mEat

the AUDACITY of these girls

she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth before her right eye drops in a wink

namjoon sighs

“you alright, lisa? is there something in your eye? you’re blinking weird. and jisoo - i see a widdle piece of lettuce in your teeth.”

the two girls’ faces flush bright red and you press your lips together to keep yourself from laughing

wendy shakes her head “you- wow, you clean up nice…”

“wish i could say the same for you.” he pouts and reaches out to pinch her cheek “you’re looking a little red… maybe the stick up your ass is causing tension?” he suggests and props his chin up on your shoulder

woW

breaking news: wendy has just been COMPleteLY obliterated

“wow… whatever.”

you remain silent as the three girls immediately whiP around and head in the other direction

“…do you think i should go and apologise?” namjoon suggests sheepishly and you turn to look at him

“if anything i think you should’ve taken it farther”

“and this is why i like u”

“i know” you raise your fist and namjoon laughs before bumping his fist against yours “now, c’mon - let’s get you a spicy blackberry margarita”

okay

about two hours have passed

you and joon have been hanging out at the bar mostly

jimin keeps testing new drinks on the two of you

both of you have an ample amount of alcohol flowing through your veins

and now you’re on the couch because the bar was getting too busy

and uh

you’ve always been a affectionate!drunk and namjoon is now realising this

“what’s gotten into you?” namjoon laughs after you rub your nose against his before pulling away to give him a lil kith

“just loving on my boyfrienD” you giggle and wrap his arm around your shoulder before nuzzling against him

in the background you hear the commotion of people getting excited because jungkook’s gone and volunteered himself for body shots

you very faintly see min yoongi and the random thought of that water girl job pops into your head

namjoon takes the red plastic cup away from you “mhm, i think that’s enough for you, missy”

“namjOoooOn” you immediately make grabby hands for your cup and namjoon holds it away from you so that you can’t reach it

you’re practically stretched out on his lap trying to grab it

you huff and roll your eyes “well noW what am i going to do to pass the time”

spoiler alert: u somehow persuade joon into a make-out session on the couch (it was pretty easy and u had good points “everyone’s over in the kitchen doing body shots and also u look super hot tonight”)

you pull away from namjoon and take your bottom lip in between your teeth “…you wanna get outta here?”

“you need to learn how to be more patient” namjoon laughs when you squirm your way in between him and his front door

it’s hard to unlock the door when you’re pressing kisses to his neck aNd tugging at his shirt at the same time

“you need to learn how to find your damn keyS” you groan and tug at his belt

the moment namjoon unlocks the door he pushes you in and the keys clatter to the ground

“now look who needs to learn how to be patient” you squeal when he lifts you up in one swift movement and wraps your legs around his waist

“it’s still you” namjoon murmurs against your mouth and you bite down on his lip in retaliation

he grins and squeezes the underside of your thigh causing you to giggle

“stoP i’m ticklish there” you murmur and namjoon raises a brow

you pull away and jab a finger into his chest “don’t even thiNK about it”

“i have no idea what you’re talking about” namjoon shrugs innocently as he begins the small trek to the bedroom

you don’t know how he hasn’t dropped you yet

like ya you knew he was strong but you didn’t know he was thiS strong

your fingers wrap around his bicep and you give a testing squeeze and you feel a ziP of heat down there when he flexes underneath your fingers

o fuk

you fall onto the mattress and it bounces under your weight and the next thing you know namjoon is hovering over you

“c’mere, you” namjoon breathes out and leans down to press his plump lips against yours

he grunts when you roll your hips against his and let out a whimper

frick

he wants to hear you make more noises for him

“wait wait wait” you breathe out and pull away from joon

“what’s wrong?” namjoon sits up immediately

what did he do???? o god

he fucked up what did he DO

you reach over to the bedside table and namjoon’s like ??

namjoon blinks quickly as you slip his glasses onto his face

“as much as i liked bad boy namjoon i miss my bookworm”

“do you find visual impairment sexy?” namjoon adjusts his glasses and crinkles his nose

adoraBLE

you giggle and lean in to kiss him again

namjoon jumps when he feels your hands tugging at his belt and he immediately reaches down and wraps his fingers around your wrist

“what are you doing?” he breathes out and you move down and start pressing kisses to his neck

“taking your pants off”

well like

he knOWs what you’re doing he just

he doesn’t want to like,, pressure you into doing stuff because he rly likes u and u guys haven’t been together for thAt long

“we don’t have to-“

“why? are you a virgin?” you tease and namjoon scowls playfully as you continue to undo his belt “because i can be gentle with you!”

okay

he doesn’t like this game

“maybe we should get some chocolate covered strawberries and champagne?”

you continue your little jokes even as namjoon pushes you down gently on the bed

your head flops against the pillows

“you want me to light some candles?” you giggle when namjoon gives the side of your bum a smack after peeling your leggings off and tossing them aside

“oh yeah, i love candles. i especially love those vanilla scented ones.” namjoon tilts his head before peeling his shirt off and tossing it aside

you pause in your teasing for a second to admire joon’s sun-kissed tanned god-like skin

you want to take a bite out of his biceps

“maybe we can take a bubble bath or something? to ease your nerves” you coo and poke his nose when he slots himself in between your legs and leans down with his hands on either side of your head

“that does sound nice. i’m trembling with nerves, after all” namjoon sighs and buries his face into the crook of your neck and starts pressing kisses to your skin

“don’t worry - i’ll be gentle with you” you mutter and namjoon snorts before biting down on your shoulder playfully

oh god

you’re on cloud nine right now

“oh, namjoon,” you gasp and dig your nails into the nape of his neck

your back arches against his chest when he thrusts into you again

your toes curl into the mattress

you’ve never had sex like this before

it’s a slow slow burn and you can already tell that this is the best orgasm you’re ever going to have

“you feel so good” namjoon moans lowly and his raspy voice “s-so warm n tight and you’re all mine- nngh- fuck,”

“oh my god namjoon” you whimper breathily and your finger dig into his back

namjoon brushes his lips over yours in an almost kiss as he struggles to breathe because you feel so good around him

your vocabulary is very limited at the moment just because your mind is clouded with lust and you can’t focus on anything besides namjoon namjoon namjoon

“good?” namjoon leans down and presses his forehead against yours before his hand is slithering in between your legs

“good, s-so good,” you whine and arch your back against him

he keeps at a steady pace and continues to build up the pleasure and the tingling sensation and your toes curl into the mattress

“nam-namjoon- i-i’m-“ you choke over your words as you finally fall apart beneath him his eyes are hazy with pleasure and his pupils are so dilated that they’ve basically swallowed all colour in his eyes

“i’ve got you, you’re okay,” namjoon murmurs as he starts planting soft kisses along your jawline and then down your neck

the next thing you know you’re seeing stars and you’ve officially been reduced to a trembling whimpering mess

namjoon manages four and a half more thrusts before he’s letting out a groan as his orgasm slams into him suddenly

he gives you one last kiss before rolling off of you

you immediately cuddle up to his chest and the two of you share a moment of silence where you’re just processing what the heck just happened

“…not bad for a virgin, eh?” namjoon grins and you snort against his chest before whacking his arm gently

“c’mon, i think i promised you a bubble bath”

you love your handsome boyfriend

but those thick square frames of his makes him look like such a dork (which makes you love him even more)

sometimes he leaves them on the counter because he says wearing them too much gives him migraines

and you like to take advantage of the situation

“i’m namjoon and i can’t walk five steps without tripping over my feet!” you imitate namjoon and the boys burst out into laughter and you can’t help but feel a sense of pride not only because you know your impression is spot on but it’s also funny as hell

“i’m namjoon and i keep stale candies in my pocket like a grandpa”

another round of laughter and you’re feeling good

“hey wait - where are you guys going??? i haven’t even gotten to the good ones ye-“

you jump when you feel an arm slither around your waist and suddenly you’re being pulled into a hard chest

“i’m namjoon and you’re in big trouble when we get off from work today”

boyfriends usually find it sexy when their girlfriends wear an article of their clothing

and sure you’ve stolen a couple of joonie’s tees and hoodies and he thinks you look adorable drowning in his clothes

but nothing gets him going more than seeing you wear his glasses

especially when you wear them while you’re riding him

you know that saying

gentleman on the streets but freak in the sheets

namjoon is the epitome of that saying

“nNgh- na- namjoon! ah, joon, fuck-“ namjoon’s glasses slide down until they’re on the tip of your nose and namjoon groans at the sight

his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips and he bucks his hips making you cry out in pleasure

“fuck, look at you, falling apart on my cock - oh, you like it when i talk to you like this? naughty little girl” he reaches up to grasp your chin and presses his lips against yours

in conclusion: nothing gets him going more than seeing you wear his glasses

namjoon’s pretty proud of the fact that he gave you a new appreciation for books

because you’re reading a new book like eveRy week which is great

but now he’s starting to think that you might like books more than you like him

and he’s not typically the kind of person who whines because he thinks whining is annoying and won’t get you anywhere

but you are turning him into a whiney person because of your new infatuation with books

“joon, stop,” you scowl and push him away when he rests his head on your shoulder and starts reading along with you

you like to read alone and he knows that but he likes being near you!!!!!!! and you’ve been silent for like an hour!!!!!! and he misses your voice!!!!! so SUE HIM

“but you’ve been reading for an hour and i’m bored” namjoon pouts and slumps down on the desk

you look down at him and your heart flutters at how cute he looks with his pillowy lips in a pout and his cheek squished against the desk

“well let me finish reading a couple more chapt-“

“a couple more?!” namjoon squawks and gets the attention of some people sitting near the counter

“-and then i’m all yours! it’s just getting to the good part. i don’t bother you when you’re working!”

“because when i’m working, you’re working too! and you actually interAct with me when we work” namjoon grumbles and sits up before grabbing a random book and flipping through it angrily

“well i’m taking a break”

“yEAh like your fifth break in two hours”

“watch the attitude mister”

“u watch youR attitude” namjoon huffs before wheeling back to his side of the counter

he turns and gives you his best angry-looking face and you snort before putting your book down because he looks like an angry puppy

you wheel over to him and rest your cheek on his shoulder and namjoon shakes you off

“have i not been giving you enough attention, hm?” you coo and link your arm with his before grabbing his hand

namjoon doesn’t respond and continues to click on the laptop but he doesn’t let go of your hand

it’s time to pull out

the biG GUNS

you immediately smoosh your lips against his cheek and assault him with kisses and namjoon can’t help but break out into a giggle

this is all he needs to stay happy!!! just kiSs him a couple times a hour and he won’t be whiney anymore

it’s not that hARD TO DO

he reaches up to cup your face and leans in to give you a soft peck before pointing to the book that you abandoned for him

“go and finish reading… bOokworm”

namjoon typically is very gentle when it comes to pretty much everything

when he’s rebinding books he does it with such delicacy and precision so that a page is never out of place

when he’s dusting shelves his wrist flicks so subtlety as to not knock any books over

when he holds your hand he intertwines your fingers with his and it makes you feel soft and cozy on the inside

but the namjoon that is currently in between your legs is not the same namjoon

and you love it

you gasp as namjoon’s fingers dig into the meat of your inner thighs to keep you planted firmly against the bed as you try to buck your hips

“joon, i c-can’t-“ you whimper and squirm underneath him

“yes you can, i know you can,” namjoon purrs and presses a kiss to your inner thigh before leaning down and burying his face in between your legs

he’s already made you cum twice with his fingers alone and now he wants to make you cum with his mouth

“nO namjoon please-“ you mewl and bury your fingers in his hair before yanking “please i need you so bad”

as much as namjoon would like to spend the rest of the day with his face buried in between your legs he knows you’re not going to last much longer so he’ll show some mercy

also he’s like buSting out of his pants so he needs to relieve himself too

#selfcare2k19

namjoon sighs before pulling away and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand

he can’t help but smirk at the sight of you flopped on his bed with your hair in a halo around your head and your cheeks are flushed and your lips are swollen and your eyes are glassy

all because of him

“only because you’ve been such a good girl”

“i- oh!”

namjoon flips you over onto your stomach in one quick motion “and you’re going to continue being a good girl for me, aren’t you?”

you hear the gentle tinkering of his belt and the shuffling of his pants and you bite down on your bottom lip in anticipation

you nod quickly and prop yourself up onto your forearms

namjoon chuckles when you squirm and wiggle your bum against him “patience, jagi”

“i’ve been patient” you murmur into the crook of your elbow and namjoon smacks the side of your bum in warning

your eyes flicker up when you see namjoon’s hand reach out to grip onto the headboard

his other hand is on your hip and you freeze when you feel him easing himself in slowly

he starts off slow to let you adjust

but the moment you give him the green light

all hell breaks loose

namjoon begins fucking into you at a merciless pace and you can’t help but mewl and moan underneath him

you feel like your body isn’t even attached to your minD right now because you’ve never felt pleasure like this before

namjoon stays silent apart from his heavy breathing and the occasional grunt and if that’s not the sexiest sound in the entire world you don’t know what the hell is

“tell me who’s making you feel this good” namjoon growls into your ear and gives you a particularly hard thrust

“y-you, you are, i-i, oh god, namjoon-!“ you gasp and bury your head in the pillows

“up, baby” he warns you and wraps his arm under your stomach as he pulls you and straightens you out

your arms are shaking underneath you as you hold yourself up and namjoon leans down to press a kiss to the back of your neck

and then he’s placing his palm on the small of your back and continuing to push himself into you as deep as he possibly can

your orgasm practically obliterates your body when it finally comes

spots dot your vision and your fingers dig into the mattress and namjoon’s name continues to slip past your lips over and over again

you spasm uncontrollably around namjoon and that triggers his own orgasm because hoLy fuck you’re so warm and tight and-

namjoon pulls out and you feel splatters on the swell of your ass and you hear him groaning lowly as he finally relieves himself

you have no idea what’s happening

all you hear is white noise

all you feel are tingles up and down your spine

“you did such a good job, baby” you weren’t even aware that namjoon left to go to the washroom and now he’s cleaning you up with a warm rag “such a good girl for me” he coos and presses a kiss to your shoulder before he flips you over gently so that you’re on your back

he leans down to give you a sweet peck before nudging his nose against yours

honestly.,,.,. get u a man who can do both

“y/n!”

you look up from your phone and namjoon’s holding up the cataloguing notebook with a raised brow

“purple glitter pen??? seriously??” he says in a verY unimpressed manner

your eyes flicker over to the sheet before you look back at your frustrated boyfriend

“…you said you didn’t want me to use pink so i used purple”

namjoon suppresses a groan and pinches the bridge of his nose

some things never change

3K notes · View notes

moodyvalentinestories · 5 years

Text

Something Just Like This Series: Part 3 – An Unlikely Alliance | Thomas Hunt x Rachel Fields

“Hey, do you think you could help me with something?”

Summary: I’m telling you, they’re being idiots. Even though they miss each other terribly, they’re not going to admit it. Like, at all. So maybe… maybe they need a little nudge in the right direction.

Pairing: Thomas Hunt x Rachel Fields

Word Count: ~ 2,400 words

Notes: Oh-oh. Is that… is that a ship waiting to happen?

❥ Moodyvalentine’s Masterlist

❥ Something Just Like This: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Epilogue

Rachel taking a leave of absence from school to work on her film was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it meant he didn’t have to see her in his class every day, a curse because the more time she spent on set, the more the speculations about her and Mr Winters’ relationship flourished. And as much as Thomas told himself he didn’t care, as much as he tried to ignore the front pages of the tabloids whenever he passed the three newsstands on his way to and from the university, as much as he avoided thinking about it by burying himself in work… it would never be enough. It would never work. Because he did care. Deeply. These last two weeks of not seeing her – not once – had been, for lack of a better word, hell. A hell he himself had created.

Even now, as his focus should have been solely on the essays of his Hollywood 101 students, she weaselled her way into his thoughts. He’d hoped staying in his office on campus late would help, as he would at least not have any reminders of her lying around – because despite how untidy it made the place look, he couldn’t bring himself to put away the necklace she’d so carelessly abandoned on his night stand before joining him in bed or take off the little note she’d pinned to his fridge when she’d left the next morning – but it was no use. She was right there, even when she wasn’t. He wondered when that would stop, if it would ever—

His train of thought was interrupted when he heard a faint knock on the door. He looked at his watch – it was late. Too late for any student to come by, especially on a Friday. Unless… His heart picked up speed. What if it was her?

“Come in,” he called out, trying to keep his voice steady. What would he say to her?

It didn’t matter. Because the girl that walked in was not Rachel. Though she may have very well been sent by her.

“Miss Sinclair, what can I do for you?” Thomas asked, clenching his jaw. How much did she know? Had he truly hurt Rachel enough for her to talk? To try and get him fired? He wouldn’t have thought she’d stoop so low. Maybe he’d given her too much credit.

The young blonde sat down across from him, folding her hands in her lap to keep them from shaking. She was scared – unlike Rachel, she wasn’t one to look for trouble – and Thomas knew then that he didn’t want to hear whatever she would say. But he would. Because if he was right, and this did have to do with Rachel, he needed to know. Anything he possibly could, he’d soak it all in.

“For me? Nothing. I lost all my respect for you when I found out that you’re the reason my best friend is crying herself to sleep every night,” she said in a hostile tone he’d never heard from her before, and it felt as if she’d put her hand right through his chest and ripped his heart out. He’d known Rachel wouldn’t have taken it well. But he’d hoped that, unlike him, she would have found a way to forget by now. Even if that way came in the form of a certain Hollywood heartthrob.

But he couldn’t let her know that. He stood up, putting both his hands on his desk as he spoke. “You should leave, Miss Sinclair. I will not let you throw around baseless accusations and—”

“No,” she said, showing no inclination to stand. She sat, looking calmer by the second, and stared him down. “I’m not leaving until I’ve said my piece. You would do well to listen. Because I’m very protective when it comes to my friends. And Rachel is my best friend, Professor.”

Thomas swallowed hard but felt inclined to obey as he sat back down. “Very well. What is it you wanted to say?”

“You’re going to make things right with her. Because, regardless of what I think of you, she cares about you. Far more than you deserve, honestly,” she said. As if he needed anyone to point that out for him. “And you’re going to do everything in your power to make her happy. Or I will not hesitate to call up my bodyguard friends and send them after you, understood?”

_____________

It wasn’t like she didn’t love what she was doing anymore. She still did. She still had her passion for it. But it was hard for her to enjoy anything when her stupid brain spent every fucking second of every fucking day thinking about him. The cast and crew all noticed, but they left her alone as long as she was on set and did her job. Except for Chris. Because Chris was just too damn nice to ignore his former friend’s suffering.

Luckily for her, he’d accepted her constant I’m fine’s and Don’t worry’s without much of an objection. Until tonight, that was. Because tonight, it seemed, he’d finally had enough. As they waited outside the studio for their respective drivers, he turned to her and said, “I’m sorry about the tabloids.”

“What?” Rachel asked, surprised that he’d even tried to start a conversation. Usually, they’d just stand next to each other in uncomfortable silence after she assured him she was fine. There wasn’t really much they could say to each other, after all.

“It’s what’s bothering you, isn’t it?” he said, tilting his head to one side. “That people are talking about us. As in us, being together.”

She had to suppress a laugh. As if she gave half a fuck about what the general public thought. Though, he wasn’t entirely wrong. The tabloids did bother her. Because, despite everything, she wondered what a certain professor of hers must have thought. He probably thinks I’m a slut for moving on so quickly. “Yeah, it kinda sucks.”

“Kinda sucks?” Chris raised an eyebrow. “Excuse my French, but you’re not acting like it kinda sucks. You’re acting like you’d rather die than work with me.”

She sighed. She didn’t want him to feel like she had an issue with being in this movie together. Because she didn’t. Starring in a film alongside him was something many – including her not long ago – could only dream of. “That’s not it. I don’t… I don’t have a problem with you. I’m just… there’s just a lot of stuff going on in my life at the moment and—” Her phone rang and she couldn’t have been more relieved. It was the perfect excuse to get out of this conversation. “I should take this. It’s probably important.”

“Of course. Yeah, sure,” Chris said and stepped away to give her some privacy.

Rachel answered the call, unsure what to expect. It was a number she didn’t recognise, but that probably just meant that Ethan had given her contact information to someone who may be interested in working with her. Why anyone would make a call about work at this hour, though, she couldn’t fathom. “Hello?”

“Are you Rachel?” someone said on the other end of the line. His voice was vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on where she knew it from.

“Who’s asking?”

“This is Ryan Summers,” the man said and Rachel nearly dropped her phone. Holy crap! Of course the voice had seemed familiar – the guy was a legend! But why would he be calling her? “I got your number from Hunt… well, it’s not like he gave it to me. But I went through his phone when he wasn’t looking and I… never mind. Do you have a moment?”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Of course this was about Thomas. How could it not have been? “Not interested,” she said, about to hang up.

“Wait! Wait, don’t… please. You’re going to want to hear this, I promise.”

She bit her lip. Of course she wanted to hear it. She wanted to hear whatever she could about him. How was he doing? Had he moved on? Of course he had. He never felt the same way about you, remember? “Fine. But make it quick.”

_____________

Addison couldn’t believe she’d just threatened her professor. Who had she turned into? This was so not her thing. Sure, she didn’t always follow the rules, but, unlike her best friend, she also wasn’t hellbent on breaking them. Damn. She was tempted to apologise immediately after but, remembering that she wasn’t doing this for herself but for Rachel, she bit back the apology and continued to stare at Professor Hunt with a stern look in her eyes.

“Miss Sinclair, I do not appreciate being threatened by a student,” he said eventually, glaring at her.

Christ, how does Rachel do it? How could anyone not be deterred by that cruel, icy glare? She would just have to try. Because she wasn’t going to give up. Remember, you’re a good actress. Just pretend this doesn’t scare the ever-loving shit out of you. “And I don’t appreciate seeing my friends in pain.”

His expression changed at that statement, and he faltered for a moment. “I—” His features hardened again. “I’m not discussing this with you. If Miss Fields wants to speak to me, tell her not to send someone in her stead next time.”

“She didn’t send me. She doesn’t even know I’m here.”

“Then I’ll assume she doesn’t want to see me,” he said and while Addison couldn’t see any emotion on his face, she heard it in his voice. It had hurt him to even say that. She opened her mouth to speak again, but he shut her down. “This is your cue to leave, Miss Sinclair. You would do well to take it.”

She huffed but got up anyway. Fine. So that had been a bust. All she’d accomplished was getting on Hunt’s bad side. But that didn’t mean she’d let this go just yet. She’d just have to try harder.

_____________

Ryan was surprised at how young the woman that had picked up the phone sounded. For a moment, he wasn’t sure if he had the right number. He’d simply chosen the number Thomas had called the most, but maybe that wasn’t right. Maybe he should have gone through his texts to be entirely certain that this Rachel woman was the right one.

His doubts disappeared soon enough when she told him she wasn’t interested. Her voice had sounded like it was laced with thousands of tiny needles. Yes, this was the woman who’d been deeply hurt by his idiot of a friend’s words. And if there had been any doubts left, they would have been entirely gone by the time she’d agreed to listen without much convincing on his part.

“Look, I don’t know who you are. Nor do I know what happened between you two. But I’ve never – or, at least not in a long time – seen him this way. I think—”

“If you’ve got something to say, just say it,” she said. “I’m tired, and I’ve got neither the time nor the patience to deal with his shenanigans.”

Ryan held back a chuckle. She sounded like a woman Hunt would go for alright. For a moment, he wondered where he’d found her – though, in the back of his mind, he already knew. He just couldn’t believe it yet. “My point is, you two should talk. I’m sure—”

“Does he want to talk to me?” she asked. Her voice sounded almost hopeful.

He swallowed hard. “Well… I…”

“That’s what I thought. Good night, Mr Summers.” And with that, she hung up.

Damn it, Ryan thought to himself as he looked out the window of the car. And then he realised where he was. Hunt’s place was less than two minutes away. Fine then. If that hadn’t worked, he’d just have to try to knock some sense into him again. He quickly told his driver the new destination. Unfortunately, he was out of luck – Thomas wasn’t home. But he wasn’t simply going to give up like that. There was another place he could try. He would find him tonight and he would get him to see reason. Somehow.

_____________

As she brainstormed how to possibly go about this endeavour on her way back to her dorm, Addison didn’t pay any attention to her surroundings and promptly crashed into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorr—” they both said at the same time and laughed.

She looked up and it took her a few seconds to recognise the man in front of her. It was dark out, after all. But once she did, she nearly had a heart attack. “You’re Ryan Summers.”

He let out a good-natured laugh. “And you are…”

“Really, really sorry. I was kind of lost in thought and… well…”

“Oh, tell me about it,” he said. He hadn’t been particularly attentive, either, as he tried to figure out how on Earth he would get Hunt to listen. “I’m pretty sure this was my fault.”

“No, no,” she said, letting out a nervous chuckle. Even after years in Hollywood, after hanging out with A-Listers left and right, she was still in awe whenever she met someone famous she had not yet talked to.

“Let’s say we’re both at fault then, hm?” She was positively adorable.

He probably just said it to make her feel better, but it would have been a stupid thing to argue about. “I can live with that.”

Before they both went their separate ways, Ryan asked, “Hey, would you happen to know if Hunt’s still in his office?”

Addison grimaced. “I mean… yes, he is. But I have a feeling he’s in a really bad mood so you may not want to talk to him.”

“What, forgot to hand in an essay on time?” he joked.

“Something along those lines,” she said with a shrug. She couldn’t very well tell him the truth, could she now?

Ryan smiled. “Well, thanks for the warning. Have a good rest of your night.”

“You too,” she replied. “And good luck. I hope I won’t read about your murder in the papers tomorrow.”

He laughed again as they continued on their ways. After taking a few steps in opposite directions, they both turned around at the same time.

“Hey, do you think you could help me with something?”

Tags: @lilyofchoices @trappedinfandoms @flyawayboo @alleksa16 @silversparrow02 @hopelessromantic1352

#wherefore art thou my professor #wherefore art thou my student #rachel #hwu #hwu hunt #thomas hunt

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lacklusterswirl · 5 years

Note

Ash x Ceil fic? I suggested it earlier in a different context :P

“Am I taking requests?” Kinda… if you send it in I’ll write it eventually… but I do prefer angst most of the time soooo :p

For those that don’t know, Ciel is an OC who’s technically from an original story of mine, but sometimes shows up in R6 stuff I write just cause he’s also JTF 2.

This time, it was Ciel who asked for help, and Rainbow answered. Ash hadn’t seen him since Buck and Frost were first recruited, and when they… well, just leave it the fact that they know each other. But for a budding romance that was already so slow to start, she doesn’t know if he would ever be interested in someone like her for more than just a one night stand. She was intense, stuck-up, and just had to be in control, and he was trying to keep himself from falling back into a similar pattern. And for good reason. Uncertainty tends to kill romance, and she thinks she sees that here too.

Warnings: Mentions of injuring, gunfights, cannon typical violence. (~2.4k words)

“You again?”

Ciel looked away from the blueprints of the building they were preparing to infiltrate. There were strings and pins around the map like he had spent hours on it, but they weren’t the focus of his attention anymore. “You’re part of a Canadian op. Who else were you expecting?”

“Excuse me, ma’am,” another man bumped into her as he went to stand by Ciel. No doubt, despite the impressive stripes on the newer man’s shoulder, Ciel was still higher rank. He always had to be on top, that bastard. He wasn’t even in his fucking uniform, the slob.

As if he read her mind, he looked up and smirked. “Do you plan on joining us anytime soon?”

Ash rolled her eyes and stepped in to take a closer look at the pins. “Sledge and Blitz will be here soon. They had to stop by and get some kind of special badge to walk around.”

“And you made it here first?” The stranger chimed in. His name tag said Millier though, so that must’ve been his last name.

Ciel smirked and looked back up at his own pins. “Ne sois pas méchant. She’s a guest.” Ash just rolled her eyes.

During the briefing, Ciel was calm and didn’t seem to make a big deal out of the op. It was simple. Go in, clear, and get out. No secondary objectives or anything. However, a simple op like that wasn’t why you called in an international org like Rainbow. All these thoughts were over ridden the entire time though because Ash swore that he was making fun of her for something. His eyes seemed to stay on her for a moment longer than the others, and it made her wonder if he was trying to tell her something more subtle. So, afterwards, she stayed behind.

“Something wrong, Ash?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“Well, I’ve never been better, thanks for asking.” He took a seat on the table so one leg was off the other ground, but the other was still touching the floor. Even now, he seemed in control. As he always was. From the moment she met him to now, this was always how he was.

“There’s nothing else?” She didn’t misread him. For how guarded he was, his patterns were quite simple. “I know you, you know?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to come out around town with me and Millier tomorrow. Bring your team if you’d like. I know Millier wants to hear about your work.”

“So, this has nothing to do with Buck?”

Ciel gave that coy smile to show that she was right. “I figured that if you didn’t want to tell me, that it wouldn’t be an answer I wanted to hear. You do make the teams after all, eh?”

“Buck… well, he’s moved on.”

“And Frost?”

“She’s doing well, if that’s what you want to know. Knows her way around a mission, and is always a comfort to have on your side. She’s fine as well. They aren’t concerns of Rainbow.”

He made some vague agreeing sound. “And you?” Those green eyes settled on her, and she almost felt uncomfortable.

“I’m well. Nothing new has happened, though I was surprised to hear that you called in help this time. Pulling favours? Must be important. You didn’t sound so stressed when you were talking.”

“I can’t disclose much. But know that your organization’s presence here is very welcomed.”

And by the tone of his voice, he meant it.

You don’t send in two higher ranking officers, one of whom was a legend, and three Rainbow ops for just any mission. And so, this was about what Ash expected. They were engaged in heavy fire from the moment they were deployed. Ash looked over at where Sledge was taking shots through the side door and giving a short report every time one went down.

Blitz was with the Canadian ops while they were going straight through the front door, and from the sound of things, they already made their entry. This wasn’t good. They were meant to enter at the same time, but Ash and Sledge were still posted at their door, unable to set foot in the house.

“Lobby clear, but footsteps are approaching from upstairs— CONTACT!” Ciel’s breathy voice broke her away for a quick moment until bullets flew at her again. She nodded at Sledge, they couldn’t fall any further behind. Together, she and Sledge broke into the kitchen and started clearing enemies who were fleeing from Ciel’s team down the stairs and into their waiting crosshairs.

An explosion sounded from above them, and Ash had to take cover from the bullets raining from above. She glanced over at Sledge but saw him testing his left hand.

“Sledge?”

“Grazed my arm when I was breaking down the door. Starting to feel it now.”

“Shit… Stay safe, we’re almost done. Let me know if it gets too bad.”

He nodded and they turned around the corner to take out the last few terrorists in the room.

“This is Ash, we’re going downstairs.”

“Copy.” That was Millier. Why was he the one responding?

“Ash, what are you waiting for? Count me down,” Sledge hissed. Ash nodded and counted them down. The moment they landed, they immediately went back to back as they cleared out the room. Out the room and taking a corner put them in a good position to take out a few without direct engagement.

“This is Mil reporting, top floor is cleared, but Ciel got thrown in the blast from earlier.”

Ash’s heart stopped.

“He’ll be ok, just a little shaken.”

She sighed, relieved, though she couldn’t pinpoint exactly why it mattered so much. It wasn’t like she could do anything about it now either. She and Sledge had to continue their assault.

When it was all done, and Ciel was safely extracted, there was a tense silence on the plane. Ciel had his eyes closed, trying to block out all sound, while Millier was preparing dressings and ice packs. As for Rainbow, Blitz and Sledge were staring at Ash, expecting an outburst. That was her reputation after all. She was intense, focused, too stuck-up, and hot-headed. However, she waited until debrief before demanding the whole story while Ciel was in the infirmary.

They were clearing out the master bedroom, and Ciel was about to push in when Blitz motioned that he would take point with the shield. As he moved forward though, Ciel must’ve caught something on his sensor because he lunged at the German operator while Millier covered them. It was unneeded though. The C4 killed the only terrorist in the room and Ciel had gotten thrown into a wall. Blitz was a little shocked, but fine otherwise.

“I don’t understand. I have a shield for a reason,” he complained the moment Ciel stepped into the briefing room.

“Your back was facing it, what else was I gonna do?” Ciel responded, taking a seat with a slight grimace. “It was calculated though. I knew the layout of the room, the number of enemies, and my own strength.”

“That… I—”

While Blitz stuttered a little trying to come up with a response, Ciel just smiled at Ash and Millier. “How was the rest of debrief?”

“Elle est trop—”

“Elle peut nous comprendre, Millier. Dis-le à moi plus tard.” Ciel gave Ash a small smile and nodded at the rest. “You are all dismissed. Thank you, Rainbow, for coming in. Things would’ve been a little hairier had that been just a two-man op.”

Blitz and Sledge both stood to leave the room, and after a moment – and a few seconds of unsure eye contact – Millier followed them. Ciel waited until the door was closed until he spoke to Ash.

“Millier interrupted earlier, but what did you think of the mission?”

“Why do you care? It’s over,” she helped him pack up the files, reaching for things that would otherwise hurt him to stretch and grasp for. “It’s a success. Congrats.”

“Oh, come on. I can tell you’re mad at me. And a little bit mad at yourself too?”

Well, since he asked for it. “You shouldn’t have gone upstairs. You shouldn’t have entered before I did.”

“The plan was set in motion. Millier and I are best suited to more enclosed spaces, and Blitz had a shield. It was the right team. And entering didn’t lead to any mistakes.”

“It desynced us.”

“It didn’t matter if we were in sync or not. That C4 was ready for us, and it would’ve been thrown whether or not we were synced.”

“The mission wasn’t perfect.” Ash slammed a stack of papers down on the desk in a perfect pile.

“No mission is.” Ciel grabbed them and packed them away haphazardly.

Ash glared at him. “Our reputation—”

“Will not be affected.” Ciel was counting photos, only looking up once to take in her expression.

She could feel the heat creeping up her neck, as she said the next line. “You almost died.”

There. That made him stop. “I didn’t… You know what? Stay here, I’ll be back.”

It took perhaps ten minutes and Ciel was back with a bottle of golden liquid and two glasses. “It’s to help you destress,” he said, offering the glass he just poured. “Drink it slowly though, I would like you to help me finish up here.”

“You aren’t in charge of me anymore,” she smiled around the glass, but complied anyways. God, she hated whiskey, but the soothing burn was a comfort.

Ciel paused as he was placing the next batch of papers in a box. “You know,” he placed his hands on the table and looked Ash directly in the eye. “Millier loves you. Not like… a romantic love, but he is obsessed with your skill and how you command your unit. He admires you. As do all the soldiers you work with, even the ones who don’t really show it. Cut yourself some slack.”

“Can’t get complacent. Not everyone can take ten years off from this work to raise a child then come back basically the same.”

“It’s not complacency, it’s called forgiveness. And everyone made sure to let me know that… gah, that I had… changed.” He made a motion to his general body, and Ash got the general idea. “Yet I had to forgive myself then too.”

She stopped moving her hands as she noticed he hadn’t done anything in the past few minutes. “Get your ass moving or else we’ll be stuck in here for hours.”

He chuckled, but went back to work. Another moment of silence passed before he spoke up again. “I know you still don’t like Buck because of me.”

Her eyes flew up to meet his. “I don’t hold anything against Buck.”

“Except the fact that I was engaged to him about fifteen years ago, and yet I still request regular check-ins with him and Frost, while I haven’t talked to you since… that night.” The way he looked at her while still organizing told her that he knew exactly what he was doing, and the reaction she wanted to give was what he was expecting.

“Is this how you work?” she asked him. There, he wasn’t expecting that.

He tilted his head slightly to the side and looked back down as he started scribbling on a new set of forms.

“Is my handwriting not neat enough?”

With Ciel, as she had learned the first time, it payed to be direct. He wasn’t one to be easily offended, especially if there was no intention. “Are you trying to get me to be one of those girls and boys for you?”

“… One of those girls and boys? You make me sound like I’m constantly hooking up with people.”

“…Aren’t you?” She gave him an even look. For how responsible he was in every endeavor he took, relationships were not one of them.

“Not constantly. No one can do it that often. I certainly can’t. I am getting older,” he smirked, finally standing up and placing the last pile in the box. “You know me. If you want something, it’s best just to ask.”

“I don’t want to be just another one-night stand for you again.”

“You don’t have to be, I mean, you’re already moving onto a two-night status, aren’t you?” He picked up the box with a quiet huff and started to turn away before freezing in place to face her once more.

“I think I get what’s wrong,” he murmured. “You think that I think that you’re easy. And that I don’t respect you.”

Ash stared back, refusing to give anything away, which, in itself, was a giveaway.

“Eliza…” Him saying her real name was… it was bringing back memories she’d rather leave alone. “I won’t judge you for who you sleep and don’t sleep with, and I know you like to stress over the things you don’t know, but… don’t think of me as someone you need to stress over. That’s the last thing I want to be to you.”

“Then how about tonight, Skye? I know you have to check with Iris first, but after… well, I haven’t been in Toronto before.”

He flashed her a smile that practically glowed. “It would be my pleasure. Just don’t make fun of me too much when I get stiff. Age is unpredictable. So are nitro’s.”

“Does this mean you’ll stop ignoring my requests to put operators in your missions?”

“Not a chance!” He spun and leaned against the door with his back. “Knowing you, you’ll outdo too many of my newer soldiers, and they’ll never gain any leadership experience working with you. Ask again when I’m in charge, then I’ll consider it.” Ash was shaking her head at him. “What? You’re too good for some of them!”

“What a jealous old man,” she shook her head.

“Oh, come off it now, I can’t be that much older than you, right?”

“Aren’t you like fifty?”

“F-” his eyebrows furrowed. “Fifty? What did Buck tell you? I’m the same age as him!” She chuckled, and he let the mock frown change into a more satisfied smile. “Come knock on my office when you’re ready.”

“See you then.”

The door closed behind him, and she turned to back her gadget. The bastard always tried to get her to fucking relax, and it worked every time. As long as she didn’t see her operators with this blush, she was sure she could save face. Or not. What were they going to say to her anyways?

#r6s #rainbow six siege #r6s fanfic #fanfic #r6s ash #ashxoc #answered #i mostly edited it #hopefully no mistakes :p

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guacameowle · 7 years

Text

Jihyun Route: Another Story - Notes

Below the cut are the notes of opinions & thoughts I wrote down as I was playing Another Story. It’s below a cut because it’s very lengthy; I think it came out to over 8400 words. I certainly don’t expect anyone to read all of it, but I had a few people ask for me to do this, so here it is. Some of it is more in-depth analysis, most of it is probably nonsense, a lot of it is me thirsting.

Everything written is what I was thinking at the time something happened in the moment of playing the game so you can see how my theories/emotions of the game progress day by day. I did not go back & change anything I wrote after finishing the route. I haven’t even gone back to proofread it yet, so my apologies for ridiculous errors or confusion.

The notes are broken up by days & then by endings (I’ve only completed good & normal endings so far). Obviously, this text will be loaded with spoilers. I apologize if you’re on mobile & the cut doesn’t work & you have to scroll past this horrendously long post.

I’m sure some of what I’ve said here will be controversial, but I’m not here to argue with anyone or create discourse; this is just a means to express my opinions & lingering curiosities about some aspects of the route.

I by no means disliked this route. I very much enjoyed it for all it’s drama, twists, emotional upheaval, discoveries, & Jihyun’s sexy sexy voice.

Prologue

Like hell am I answering any of these calls.

Whyyy are you so obsessed with me?!

Omg they give you a 'call the police option'?! Iconic. I’m doing it.

I AM CRYING LAUGHING. I BAD ENDED & MC GAVE NO FUCKS. Just went home to order some chicken wings. A legend. SHE COULD NOT BE BOTHERED TO GIVE A FUCK. Honestly, that is my true ending. Ultimate true end. This is how my story would have ended if this happened to me in real life. Except I would have gone home to a tub of ice cream. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Excellent start to this update. She honestly just disbanded a cult & got dinner afterwards like it was no big thing. Boss MC.

Ok I'll do the prologue & play naive now.

Oh. A blindfold. KINKY~.

MC better be prepared to die because she just willingly let herself be kidnapped. 🙄

DAY ONE

The new music is so so nice. That violin concerto - so beautiful. I need sheet music.

That bedroom at Mint Eye is essentially my DREAM room. Wowza. So much pink! Yeah yeah, Ray, I’ll play your game as long as I don’t have to leave that bed. Ever.

Fuck. Ray is wearing gloves. FUUUUUCK me right up. GLOVES!!!

CATCH MY ASS FLIRTING WITH JUMIN ALL DAY ER’DAY. I told Juju I wanted to hear his voice. I’m so thirsty.

Jumin released a quote book. It probably has great lines like, “Yaaaaaa” or “What is fried chicken?” … I’d buy it. Will probably turn out to be the best trilogy I ever spent money on.

“Mankind is born lonely.” (Call Ray after 00:00 chat). This game just got deep as fuck. I’m not ready for that kind of existential commentary at midnight on day one, ok? Let’s chill. I came here to talk to cute boys/girl, not mull over how mankind was doomed from the start.

Zen is already basically horny & ready to rumble if you tell him you called him in the middle of the night because you were thinking about him & honestly that already makes this a fantastic update.

I’m glad we got a little more context on how Yoosung had a random friend who joined a cult & tried to recruit him. Solid tie-in, Chertiz. Bravo.

JUMIN PREFERS FULL-BODIED WINE. FUCK ME RIGHT UP. THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY.

Yoosung, you’re breaking my heart. I want to comfort him so bad. Everything is still so fresh & he’s so frustrated. He’s going to be an emotional rollercoaster this entire route. I can feel it. Deep in my bones.

“You should be asleep." BINCH. Then why did you call me?!

Ok, day one is almost fucking over, where in the mint wig hell is V?! This is supposed to be his route, right? I’m fixing to start answering for Ray in a hot minute if Pastel Princey doesn’t show up pronto.

ZEN IS SUCH A NARCISSIST & I LOVE HIM FOR IT. “I wonder what I’d look like wet.” Me too, send a selfie quick. Please. I’ll beg.

I can’t stop flirting with everyone holy crap I’m probably going to bad end. I don’t even know who I have the most hearts for currently…

DAY TWO

Why are the longest chats in this game at 2 in the damn morning?! Cheritz, please…

Have I mentioned I really like V’s new sprite outfit? CAUSE I DO. It’s an excellent style. That coat with the pin on the lapel is perfect! Mmmhmm.

Also, V’s sprite’s body language seems pretty important to me. That arm wrapped over himself & holding his other arm feels very closed off. He’s the leader but he’s curling in on himself. Yes, by now we know he has secrets, but this almost feels like he’s unsure of himself for other reasons. Maybe I’m reading too much into it.

In a call V says the dark sky was taking over the moon but then in the next chat he says he couldn’t sleep because the moon was too bright. WELL, WHICH IS IT? I am betting that "bright moon" was probably just a lamp. Flip the switch, V. Turn it off & go to bed.

Aye, Jumin went to a foreign university. I want to know where. Have it ever been said how many other languages Jumin knows? I know he goes to New York & China for business a lot, so do we assume he takes translators with him or that he knows enough of the languages to get by? I’m so curious.

HOW V & JUMIN MET IS THE CUTEST SHIT I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE OMGGGG. Jumin calling the insurance company about a toy car. Stop I can’t. I love him so much.

LITTLE JUMIN IN SUSPENDERS OMG I AM SCREAMING. That mini suit is probably bespoke Armani. Damnit.

V & Drunk!Jumin talking about their friendship is going to make me cry.

Jumin talks about almost being kidnapped on multiple occasions as if it were just a minor inconvenience of his day. “Ran out of pancakes, almost got kidnapped, crashed my toy car…”

Yeah yeah Ray. They're AIs. Sure. Uh huh. Totally believe you.

HOLY SHIT. Seven got a major equipment & set up upgrade. Someone tell me he posted to r/battlestations ?!?!?

Ray said he's going to try to tame me with food & honestly I am not opposed to this. He found my weakness so quickly. BRING ME ICE CREAM! STRAWBERRIES! CHAMPAGNE! Ask Jumin to make me some pancakes, I liked those.

Whoa dang. Zen's "sleepy but maybe gonna lose my voice" voice is 💦💦💦💦

V in that robe. 👀👀👀 ((Lynn, why are you like this?))

The first recommended party guest is a vampire (who could pass for Eros Katsuki Yuuri in a cape). I love this silly game. You think if I told Jumin that the 'Twilight' series was really a documentary he would believe me?

So Jumin confirmed he doesn't have siblings. That's actually one of the lingering questions I had about him. I’m glad he & V found one another at such young ages then. One could argue that they’re like brothers.

I am going to say it - I think Yoosung needs to meet with a licensed professional on a set schedule. He has no outlet for these emotions he's feeling & fears being badgered by RFA members when he does express himself. I feel so bad for him, especially knowing, as the player, that he was right all along to question V & the lack of evidence on Rika's supposed suicide. The RFA chatroom is not a safe space for him. Yet on the other hand, he’s being very selfish in wanting the others to grieve the same way he is. This is a very complex character bit about him.

Jaehee continues to be wary of me nonstop… but is 100% convinced that Seven is inviting the actual planet of Pluto to this party. ::looks directly into the camera::

Now Jumin wants to invite an actual bowl of udon. ::looks harder into the camera:: (If these were the guest recommendations Rika got, no wonder she left.)

JAEHEE CG. CRITICAL HIT. WOMAN DOWN. “You look tired.” JuMIN! No! “You look tired…” LyNN! NO!

I think I’m going to bad end if I don’t stop getting Jumin’s hearts… but I can’t help myself. I am a weak weak woman.

Why in the hell is this chat called “Party at Saturn” but then in the chat we talk about Jupiter instead. False advertising!

I could listen to V’s voice all day. That is S I L K Y ~

Ray is reaching obsessive level status. This boy just attaches to anyone that’s remotely nice to him, doesn’t he? I’ll admit, I went into this route but really liking Unknown. He irritated me. I knew he was tormented & abused, but he was not a good man. Ray though, seems really sweet. So are we to believe sometime between now & the two years into the future something happens to him that just causes him to snap & no longer want to be nice?

DAY THREE

Zen is saying “lmao” a lot.

“There’s a perfect medication for that. It’s called… BEER. LMAOOOO.” Zen is just me in college. Confirmed.

Ok so this route has some of the prettiest CGs I have seen in this game. I am loving them.

IT IS 4AM CHERITZ. I DON’T NEED THESE EMOTIONS FROM SAERAN TALKING ABOUT A POTTED PLANT WITH TWO STALKS & ONE OF THEM GROWING WEAKER. GODDAMNIT. I’M GOING TO CRY. OH SHIT HE BUSTED OUT THE CRYING EMOJI. BE STRONG, LYNN.

If this boy doesn’t get some sort of emotional help & redemption in this story I am going to be so so upset.

(Call 707 after “Paradox of the Survival of the ____ Chat) Did Seven just pull a “BITCH WHERE?” joke on me when I called him sexy?!

V's dad is a vampire. Look at that guy. Jumin, don’t look him in the eyes.

TEENAGE ANDROID ZEN!

Jaehee’s "jet pilot" convo had me dying. What kinda Space balls + Monty Python convo was that?!?!

This slow mellow piano melody (I guess V's theme) is very lovely. It makes me sleepy in a good way. That gentle crescendo in the middle with the chimes gives me chills.

CHOIR BOYS JUMIN & V!!!! HOW PRECIOUS!!!

I actually like that we get to see more of V's hesitation & examples of him still struggling with the grieving process.

Yoosung is really lashing out here. I understand his frustrations but he is very blind to his own selfishness.

OMG THE START OF YOOSUNG'S LOLOL ADDICTION! 😨

New order of favorite voices: V, Jumin, Yoosung, Ray, Zen, Jaehee, Luciel. ((This is shocking to me because I tend to prefer high-pitched male voices. Why? I don’t even know. The first time I heard Yoosung’s voice I was like “THIS IS THE ONE. THIS IS IT! QUALITY! GOOD SHIT!” Then I heard Jumin talk & my panties were WRECKED. I couldn’t fight it. I didn’t want to fight it.))

Aye, not to RUSH anything but uhh… when do I get to start giving answers like “V come save me” cause homeboy is at Mint Eye. I’m at Mint Eye. We can fucking leave Mint Eye together. Just saying.

Me In-Game: “Yoosung, I think you need to seek professional help.” Yoosung: “I don’t think I need counseling. I’ll just vent my feelings into my new game!” Me Out-Of-Game: “BOY I HAVE SEEN YOUR FUTURE & WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK!”

DAY FOUR

“Say Yoosung for example … [he’s] set to mourn the death of his precious but is he really sad because of somebody’s death or is he sad because death still remains a mystery to him?” I swear I just looked off into the distance & said, “Holy fuck…” Ray is getting DEEP. He just made a damn good point honestly. My mind is blown. I need a minute. This explains so much about Yoosung, honestly.

Ray just broke all the characters down in like 5 words or less. I am seriously impressed. Chertiz. CHERTIZ, MY DUDES. Your game is fantastic. Your characters are so in depth. None of them are perfect & I love it.

“… plant a seed of happiness inside you.” You’re not planting any seeds inside of me. Nope. Thanks for playing. I don’t want your seed. I can buy seeds at Home Depot if I need them. Thanks.

I’m guessing day 4 bad ending is you basically just joining Mint Eye with Ray at this point… & getting all of his seed.

JUMIN CALLED ME WHILE HE’S LYING IN BED. I AM BLESSED & I AM ALSO LYING IN MY BED.

Ok… I was hoping this call would get sexy but now he’s just talking about mattresses. Look Juju, you’re welcome to come & help me test the firmness of my mattress & I’ll test the firmness of your-

Real talk, Jumin’s exaggerated sigh directly into my ear via headphones gave me chills. Bye. I’m ascending to another plane of existence.

…. I’m waiting for that moment V changes his profile picture. WHEN. WILL. IT. HAPPEN?

The Game of Kings CG. I’m fucking crying.

VANDERWOOOOD.

Zen looking like he did an autumn “back to school” photoshoot for Sears & I am LOVING IT. He’s so cute. Looks like a Sketchers advert.

Yoosung is too innocent for his own good. Just met someone one day prior & already accepting packages from them. STRANGER DANGER, MY DUDE.

WET ZEN SELFIE! MY PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED! BLESSED.

Yoosung, I want to be your ‘master’. Please & thank you.

Elixir of salvation. Ah, that wonderful combination of harsh chemicals & neurotoxins/hallucinogens. I wouldn’t put it past them to have added piss. Ray says he’s going to make it special for me though by adding flavor to it. This boy is probably going to add a dollop of ice cream in it & say “IT’S AN ELIXIR OF SALVATION FLOAT!” Hard pass.

V COME & SAVE ME ALREADY! But let’s keep the robe…. for reasons… (Hello, you have all been introduced to Meowle’s extensive clothing kink.)

“The secret has got out of my hands…” ::looks directly into the camera with both eyes unblinking:: Boy, I’ve been saying this since uh… 2 years… into your future….

If I’m forced to drink this shit despite choosing the answers of resisting I’m going scream. I DO NOT CONSENT.

SAVE YOURSELF V! RUN!

Ok really, I just want to pick Ray up, toss him over my shoulder, tell him to hush & trust me, & walk out of there while karate kicking everyone in the face. Come at me. (Congratulations Cheritz, you made me like a character I didn’t originally like. You sneaky skillful writers.)

Holy shit, excellent EXCELLENT voice acting by Saeran’s VA. That was absolutely phenomenal. Sujin Kang. Bravo!

DAY FIVE

THIS ROUTE HAS GOT ME EMOTIONALLY FUCKED UP & I AM ONLY ON THE START OF DAY 5?! How am I supposed to do this for 6 more days?

V panting in a phone call = my mind directly into the gutter. Whew.

Yes, because keeping MORE secrets has helped us in the past 4 days. Does nobody learn from their mistakes in this game?

((Explained the current plot of this route to my sister)) Sister: “Ok, if this took place here in Texas, you’d just bust in there with guns blazing to save those pink & mint boys.” Me: “I wouldn’t kill anyone!” Sister: “You could just like… aim for their legs so they can’t chase you out of there.”

“It doesn’t matter what happens to me” This almost feels like V’s emotions go beyond just self-sacrifice for those he cares about. This blatant disregard for his own safety feels very self-damaging. I’m wondering if they’ll tap into this idea further in the story. Does he not feel worthy of existing? Of love?

Whoa… whose voice is THIS? Whomever this lady voice is, she’s got protractors in her eyeballs too, like Juju.

“I’ve lost my violin, something I’ve played for my whole life.” GIRL, I FEEL YOU. My heart is shattering for her & I don’t even know who she is.

Ohhhh it’s V’s mom isn’t it?! Calling it now.

I'm laughing so hard. "IT IS TIME TO ACTIVATE THE INTELLIGENCE UNIT!" & it's not even established yet! Jumin please. Omg.

How adorable!! Teenage Jumin & V!!

Wow, V's philosophy on life sure did a massive 180 in 10 years. Hmm, methinks his mom is going to come in to play for that.

I swear, if anyone else pops in & tries to “cleanse me” I’d start throwing fists. Touch me, I dare you.

V is resisting every romantic approach. I feel bad for trying to flirt with him. I guess I’ll just flirt with Jumin then.

Zen giving Yoosung some major tough love. He didn't have to step up to care for Yoosung, but he did. Zen is a good man.

Yoosung's crying phone call is ripping me apart. Also this voice acting is phenomenal. So so good but so painful.

This is disgusting. Rika has some serious psychosis & V decided to suffer in it as some way to "prove his love". That's not love. This is blatant abuse. I'm appalled. V was blinded by 'love', literally & figuratively.

In the end, V was abused. He had his love for Rika twisted/manipulated & used against him. He was physically hurt by his lover. This makes me angry not just because it happened but because he gave consent. I’m just… so fucking baffled. You do not encourage someone who is mentally unstable (or even stable) to inflict pain on yourself or others as a means for them to try to maintain a grasp on their sanity or ‘happiness’ or because they want proof you ‘love them.’ V encouraged this, he allowed it, he consented & it fucking spiraled out of control. He took on so much pain. He thought by doing this he was somehow helping Rika, but it didn’t! It just made everything worse & Rika went on to hurt more people after this. Yes, I see that V is trying to redeem himself somehow, trying to keep everyone else out of the situation so they don’t suffer like he did & so they don’t get hurt but I can’t ignore the fact that V made mistakes in their relationship as well. Rika’s growing mental instability should have been handled with a lot more care (therapy ((if one doesn’t work try another)), hospitalization, medication). He knew from the beginning she was like this, no? He enabled these tendencies she had & it wasn’t good for either of them. I want to know his end goal. Was he just being selfish? Did he think only he could be a cure for her? What was he getting out of this since it didn’t read as if he was really being loved back. Did he do any of this out of malicious intent? No, I don’t think so - it reads as if he was doing what he thought was right but V made mistakes & I feel sorry for them both. V is a very tragic character indeed. He thought his love was some sort of cure-all for his lover but it wasn’t. This is actually very sad. In a way, I guess he did stop her from hurting others (for a time) or hurting herself, but that still doesn’t make this right.

I was heavily suspicious of V in the original routes (even though his voice was so goddamn sexy), particularly in Yoosung & Seven’s routes. I still think V is not entirely free from blame. I don’t think he’s by any means evil or manipulative, just misguided in what he thought was love but really was just self-sacrifice & pretty damn obsessive if you ask me. It also rings heavily of codependency. You don’t give up every part of yourself so your partner can find ‘happiness’, that’s not a healthy love. Love yourself a little more than that, Jihyun, please.

I don't like Rika. Yes, she did good things while ‘alive’ & at one point she might have been healthy & mentally stable but it spiraled out of her & anyone else's control into a very very dark place where she became toxic, manipulative, & delusional. She's done horrible acts that I refuse to look past regardless of her previous ‘good deeds’. Bad people can do good things for all the wrong reasons. She needs medical help, I can see that, but that doesn't mean I have to like her. Her words & actions against V are very selfish as well, demanding he prove his love by letting her physically hurt him? She targeted his need to please & exploited the hell out of that - backed him into a corner & kept badgering him about him proving his love (even though he seemed all too willing to do just that). This is wrong in every way. Mental illness isn’t a ‘free pass.’

This conversation between MC, Yoosung, & Jaehee felt very productive! Yoosung seemed to actually listen & take in another POV.

DAY SIX

Ok, I officially feel like I have no fucking idea what the actual shit Rika or V are talking about in any of their damn video novel conversations. Too many damn metaphors & nonsense. Yes yes, sunshine, flowers & dark skies. Let’s move along. I’d rather hear Yoosung crying.

Update: V officially changed his profile background picture again but still not his avatar picture.

I hope Elizabeth 3rd isn’t suffering at all through this dramatic period. Is she ok? Is she eating well? How are her jumps coming along? Has she been grooming properly? When was her last bowel movement? I hope my precious baby angel is doing well.

V’s mom is kicking me right in the emotions. Every word she’s saying is just devastating. To lose everything & be outcast, having your child ripped away, not being able to find solace in something you’d taken comfort in for decades… I can’t even begin to imagine.

What a sad sad parallel. V’s mom lost her hearing & therefore her art of music. V is losing his sight & therefore his art of photography. Wow.

Secrets secrets are no fun… BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING RUINING EVERYONE’S LIVES.

I don't want Ray to be abandoned again!

You make one comment about recognizing a 90s computer & Seven suddenly calls you "ma'am." Boy, I oughta...

Jaehee says that V drives a British make car that is silver in appearance. I am hoping it's a silver Aston Martin Vanquish (aka Meowle's absolute dream car - only I want it in black in black on black).

I am laughing so hard at the idea of Jaehee just turning toward Seven & asking, "Do you work out?” ((Another Story - Brought to you by Seven’s Hot Hot Body. He Works Out!))

Yeah girl, I hate to break it to you, but that mask is doing nothing to conceal your identity so…

Hahaaaaa Seven imitating Jaehee in this phone call is pretty damn hilarious.

Someone please tell me there some options to throw a punch or two cause I fucking will. I need a Mortal Kombat option.

Jumin's analogy about V, Yoosung, & the apple tree was really really good! That pep talk was amazing. Jumin hit a home run with that motivation speech.

What kinda photos did Seven find? Naughty photos? Photos of Rika hurting V? Are we going to get to see these later?

Ok ok this might be a stretch but it's almost like V's mom's love & desperation for her child, that concern to only want to shield from pain & no longer finding purpose in anything else in life, is heavily paralleled in V's need to protect his "art" (Rika). Is this why he was so determined to try to be the outlet for her pain? He really thought this was his way of protecting her? A set of photos in his series was called Obsession, right? Was this all about an obsession with Rika? Makes sense to me at least. V is in deep, I'm questioning his mental stabilities as well in these flashbacks, honestly.

This CG with Rika & MC makes me uncomfortable. Hands off, please & thank you.

God bless Jumin keeping me updated on Elizabeth 3rd because right now she's the only bright spot in this horrifically emotional route.

"Once they get used to love... I show them fear again. Just enough to get them scared. And when I save them again, they become happy." What kinda toxic manipulative evil callus twisted deceitful bullshit. Girl, if I get my hands on you I’ll show you something to be afraid of.

Shit is going down & Ray is texting me about sunflowers. "If you leave then I'll be the sunflower. I'm going to stand watching the direction you've gone to." 😢😢😢 Please, don’t hurt him anymore.

I am at the end of day 6 & honestly I don't know if I am about to bad end. Did I fuck up somewhere? Oh geez...

JUMIIIIN stepping in & delegating like a champ. I love you.

Rika just sort of confirmed my little theory about V & ‘noble self sacrifice’, thinking he was some sort of cure-all for her demons but didn't see that he was doing more harm than good. I don't want to agree with her here but I almost kinda have to. I mean, she did ask him to basically keep giving her unconditional love, so she’s also a hypocrite in saying it was entirely V’s fault. He wasn’t the cause of her “devil” but I think he certainly had an inadvertent hand in helping it flourish.

Cheritz, please let me fight someone in this game. PLEASE! I want a full on Mortal Kombat side mode. I will go full on Liu Kang up in here, complete with all the noises he made in Sega Genesis - HUUWAH!

Hell. No. I will not do anything for you ((at least not until I loop back around to intentionally bad end)). You can fuck right the fuck off. I ain't telling the RFA shit for you.

DAY SEVEN

Oh ho ho, defensive & in-denial Yoosung is out to play.

“We’re teenagers. This is the period where we express rebellion.” Cue Jumin tilting his tie clip 30* upward so it’s not perfectly perpendicular to his tie. REBELLION! Drink tap water instead of chilled glass-bottle mineral water. REBELLION! Pay with cash instead of card. REBELLLLLIIIOOOONNNN!

Real talk - Jumin, that was some outstanding advice. He’s telling this to his friend & they’re just children at this stage? That is some serious insight. I will never get over how Jumin, who is so emotionally closed off, is such a damn good friend to V. His delivery was impeccable as well, it wasn’t condescending or judgmental; it was sincere. It was very matter of fact but did have a hint of genuine concern for his friend. Their friendship makes me very happy & I am glad they have one another. This isn’t just a “little” chat. This conversation goes on to very likely change V’s entire life… & Jumin had a massive hand in that. I’m so amazed, y’all.

Ohhhh, I offered Jumin a hug & got shot down. I’m hurt. I’ll never recover. I need to redo his route so I can feel his love again.

“Super-ego” Oooook…. BOTH of y’all need to reevaluate some shit.

Rika had a bullied fucked up childhood & she needs some serious professional help. I feel like a broken record. She’s gone by the wayside, hell she’s lost the map entirely.

All these metaphors & analogies they keep using for their pain & torment, is exhausting. Hide it in prose all you want, what we have here is toxic.

This sort of solidifies my theory that Saeran has a split personality, this isn’t just anger. There’s just no way this is “the same” person. He’s been hurt by so many people. Now it’s sad to watch him hurt others. If they ever make a route of him, I will be very interested in seeing what the event was that causes him to finally shift personalities between Ray & Unknown (at least I’m assuming it’s Ray vs. Unknown & not Ray vs. Saeran).

“I will hack everything” Lmfaoooo. This made me snort laugh so hard my chest hurt. EVERYTHING! HIDE THE TOASTER. HIDE YOUR WATCH.

I can’t fault Yoosung so not believing what any of the RFA members tell him. He has no proof. He’s been lied to, just found out he’d been lied to, & now told to believe something else? Yeah, I wouldn’t believe anyone either. If you try to tell me that the person I loved & looked up to the most went evil, was hurting people, & started a cult I would tell you to fuck right off & laugh in your face. We also forget Yoosung is a scientist (though he’s not acting like one at the moment), he needs to see actual proof otherwise he’s not going to believe it. HOWEVER, he’s so loyal to Rika that if he were to show up at Mint Eye he’d very likely join them just to be with Rika again. I hope the RFA fights tooth & nail to keep him from going to Mint Eye.

Ok ok, in this VN, V expresses that he feels grateful to have been told by Jumin to not live his father’s life & to live for himself & make his own opinion about his mom. So… when is someone going to step in & tell V to not live his life for Rika, because ever since he claimed to be “her sun” that’s what he’s been doing… living for someone else again. V needs to live for himself, find what really makes him happy. A lot of this route so far hints that V is struggling with self-love & being ‘selfish’ enough to find what makes him genuinely happy. Also, Jihyun seems very sensitive to the opinion of others. That’s an interesting character trait - nothing wrong with it. I quite like that he’s played up as sensitive but tries to take on burdens himself to spare others - makes him a very tragic & compelling character.

ZEN MOANING IN A PHONE CALL LORD JESUS I NEED TO DRINK SOME HOLY WATER. THANK YOU, CHERITZ.

Is it just me or does anyone else think that Seven coming to Mint Eye on his own is actually a bad idea? You don’t mean to tell me this boy is not going be distracted by seeing his brother like this? Hmm saving brother vs. saving random new girl. … no contest.

“If you can’t relax yourself, I’ll make you relax.” Please please make me relax Zen. Please, omg.

THERE’S A “ZEN, MIND IF I REPLACE YOOSUNG?” OPTION. BLESS YOU CHERITZ YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO ME.

Angry mother-hen Zen is ridiculously amazing.

Oh please oh pleeeeease let there be a phone call to Yoosung where he’s moaning because of his massage.

WHAT IS WITH JIHYUN’S FAMILY "SACRIFICING THEIR EVERYTHING" STOP. NO. STOP THIS TRAIN OF MADNESS.

BLESS THE PHONE CALL WITH YOOSUNG GASPING & LAUGHING AS ZEN TICKLES HIM. Yoosung is ticklish along his sides. It's canon.

“I didn’t love Rika.” WHOMP THERE IT IS!

JIHYUN JUST ADMITTED HE WAS OBSESSED WITH RIKA. THAT IS A BIG STEP, PASTEL BOY! I actually put my phone down, yelled “I WAS RIGHT!” to absolutely nobody because I was alone, walked out of the room then marched right back in to keep playing the chat…

::shuffles notecards:: ::clears threat:: ::lips on the mic:: The sun is a burning ball of gas in space. It is not capable of emotions such as 'unconditional love'. It will instantly kill you on contact. Quit placing so many expectations on the sun in your fucking metaphors. Good day.

That Rika screaming CG makes me uncomfortable. I would now like to be excluded from this narrative.

I just laughed so fucking hard. Rika is having a fucking breakdown & Seven's voice just pops in ‘PSSST, ARE YOU LYNN?!’ I can't.

DAY EIGHT

Ohhh. Ohhhhhhhh. These answer choices are getting trickier. Just completely bash Rika or kinda calmly defend V? Hmm, decisions decisions.

So Seven didn’t see Saeran at all… & still somehow doesn’t know it’s actually Saeran that’s the hacker. Interestiiiiing.

Called Zen after 00:44 chat Day 8. Told him he was doing a good job by watching Yoosung because it was a hard task. “Did you just… diss Yoosung… in a subtle way?” I died when he laughed!

These answer choices all feel too similar to one another. I’m gonna fuck this up. I’m going to bad end on day 10… just watch. ((I have like 5 save files going though so…))

Yep, I expected this from Yoosung. He’s honestly not as bad as I thought he’d be. He even voices that he understands he’s being unreasonable & whiney - he just can’t help the way he’s feeling. This is a very visceral & real reaction. I think I don’t find it annoying because I was fully expecting this. I braced myself for it & I am enjoying seeing it play out. He was the most loyal to Zika, he’s going to take a lot to make him believe. Oh, what if there’s a bad end where he & MC both end up as part of Mint Eye?!

::battered & bruised:: ::speaks into walkie-talkie:: Day 8 on mission of V route. So far no casualties. On the path to Good End still. But V still hasn’t changed his fucking profile picture. Over.

[[Here is where I caved & actually started to spend the thousands of hourglasses I have on buying days in bulk instead of just calls for V & Ray.]]

180 HG for a days worth of chats?! Gooooood Lord. ::clicks accept::

Ray’s clapping happy emoji is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen.

I CAN’T LIE TO HIM & SAY I DON’T LIKE ICE CREAM. I FUCKING LOVE ICE CREAM. I HAVE MORE ICE CREAM IN MY FREEZER THAN ANY OTHER FOODS…

Whoa cool! Ray & Rika (my phone keeps correcting her name to be ‘Zika virus’) have profiles in the hacked messenger!

I told V “art” is part of my job because medicine is an art, right? Isn’t that a saying? “The art of medicine.”

Call V after 7:13 chat. This is a good call from him - not romantic I mean - but definitely good for more insight on how he now views his role in Rika’s progression.

Whoa whoa new chat room theme song when Rika joined in.

VANDERWOOOOOOOOOD!!! Bless. Their haggling is pretty adorable.

Update: V finally changed his profile picture & is emo as fuck.

About time these idiots realize the sun is fucking dangerous. Stop using it for your nonsense. This is driving me more insane than any other aspect of the game. Mention the sun again & I’m going to go stare directly into it until my corneas melt.

Was that finally a confession of feelings for you but kinda backhanded about it? With how torn up Jihyun is about this entire Rika situation, I’m very surprised that this route would even be considered a love endeavor between he & MC. I don’t think he’s anywhere near emotionally ready to pursue a new relationship with someone so soon after this chaos. I don’t know how I’ll feel if either of the ‘good’ endings is them together right away - it’ll just feel so wrong for the progression of his character. I think Jihyun needs to learn to love & accept himself before he can open up again to trying to love someone - at least loving something the right way.

Hahaaaa like hell am I going to say THE SUN is my muse. I’m going to stop going out in daylight at this point. My bones are going to get brittle. Thanks, Cheritz.

Omg V’s mom is such a boss lady. Be strong, Lynn. Don’t cry.

Aw shit, that fucked me up emotionally.

Is this why V doesn’t like people looking at his body? Does he have scars from this fire? I hope we get more on this. Or was that body comment just another glimpse into how unsure V is about himself? Another tidbit of not loving himself? Hmm.

I am honestly at a loss, I don’t know if I’m answering correctly to get to the party.

Noooo! V, why did you lie again?! He asked you point blank. You were progressing so well. THIS CAN ONLY END IN TEARS. TELL SEVEN THE TRUTH! Seven is going to be beyond hurt when he finds out that you just kept lying! He needs to know about Saeran! He needs to save him!

The music in this 22:00 chat is absolutely fantastic. Who is the music developer for this game. Give them a raise & a three week vacation to Hawaii. This soundtrack is so great.

OMGGGG did I fuck up? If V goes back to Rika, I swear. I’m so done. Ohh, that’s going to be a bad end, isn’t it? He’s going to give in again & go back to her!

This relationship is so twisted. We’re talking in fucking circles. This is the most unproductive conversation I’ve ever been a part of & I’ve spoken with anti-vaxxers in person.

I’m absolutely crushed. This was it. This was the moment? That full break between Ray & Unknown… I have no words. This is so so sad. The VA even does a different voice each of them.

I’m crying. Full on tears. Ray…

If this was the moment of the full separation between Ray & Unknown in this timeline, I am still curious what was the trigger to cause the full break between personalities in the original timelines. I really hope we get a Saeran route now. I wasn’t hoping for one before, but Cheritz has me hooked now. I need redemption for Saeran.

DAY NINE

So, I’m guessing I’m on the right track? Because I just realized a lot of the answers in this portion have a lot of self-centered MC options? So I’m trying to avoid the “me me me, V is better off with me” choices & focusing more on the “V is changing & growing for himself” options. I’m sticking with that since I’m fully on board with my theory that V needs to learn to love & live for himself.

DON’T BRING THE MOON INTO THIS. LEAVE HER ALONE. SHE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS.

Juuuumiiiin. I’ve missed you!

How many times do you think Rika had to set up her phone to auto take that photo of her standing in front of the Moon before she got it right?

VANDERWOOD!

VANDERWOOD SELFIE!

GIVE VANDERWOOD AN RFA PROFILE

VAN.DER.WOOOOOOD.

Vanderwood is laying down some fucking truth in this VN with V. Vanderwood - the voice of the people.

At this point, I'm just over arguing & talking in circles.

My heart was in my throat thinking Ray was going to drop the news that Seven was his brother in that chat room they were in together. I was waiting for it; I don’t even think I was breathing.

Oh RFA members + Mint Eye in the same chat rooms?! LET’S DO THIS.

Petition to rename the RFA to something else, anything else.

WHO DID THIS WOMAN JUST STAB. OMG. OMGGGGG. WTF WAS THAT PHONE CALL?!

Nobody has ever given V a hug before? How cold. I’ll hug you. I’ll hug the crap out of you.

I’m going to go hug my mom…

Update: Hugged my dad along the way to finding my mom to hug her. Hugged my cat too. My sister opened her arms for a hug when she saw I was making rounds, but I just high-fived both hands & walked past. I’m such an asshole.

Rika is flip flopping all over the damn place. Did you want his love or not? Is he your sun or not? Are you angry or not? Do you want him dead or not? I’m over it. Go away.

Ok why the fuck was the phone call from Rika about her stabbing someone BEFORE the actual VN where she stabbed someone?! I was so confused. That has to be some glitch.

$10 says now Rika is going to be torn between wanting V to die or not. She’s just going to keep flip-flopping. In the end, she’s just as obsessed.

Wow. Wow. The phone call where Seven is freaking out. Like genuine emotion scared shitless. Excellent acting.

DAY TEN

Rika was off looking for love her entire life when Yoosung was literally there right beside her loving her unconditionally when he finally met her.

Lmao "Don't go to the apartment, Yoosung. There's a bomb there." Yeah that's right, bitches. I can see in the future.

Damn Jaehee. Savage. I liiiiike it.

"I didn't stab him that deep." Confession! WHOOP, THERE IT IIIIIS.

Son of a bitch. Ray is going to sacrifice himself isn't he?! While Rika's off playing house in her apartment again. I'm so pissed. Please please please let Seven save him.

I've been waiting for this Rika/Yoosung messenger chat! Now I fully expect Yoosung to resist harder & plead/beg. If I'm wrong, I'll eat my hat.

Damn they just give MC a straight up "hang up" option on Rika. Take no shit, MC.

Everyone is hella vaguing in their profiles lolololol. You know you’re desperate when you’re vaguing in a closed off messenger accessible to only 7 people. We all know who you’re talking about. You’re not slick.

Oh shit. V's mom making a comeback to slap me right in my feelings.

Ray's call after the 18:00 chat...

I have never been more attracted to Jumin in my fucking LIFE.

Ray’s best call is the one you make to him after 19:49. He cares so so much. He has so much to give despite being hurt & used & broken over & over again. This was a great phone call. Devastatingly sad, but excellent for his character.

Where in the fresh hell did Vanderwood just pop off to? Last I saw him Seven asked him to look after MC. Then never again…

You bet your ass I chose the answer to tie Yoosung up. Like my thirsty domme ass was going to let that opportunity sliiiiiide on by. I’m not even surprised that Yoosung giggled at the idea. Bless his subby heart. Boy wants it bad. I am willing to give & give & give...

Whooooa 21:53 chat: “Ray has entered the chatroom” but ended with “Unknown has left the chatroom” I know this happened before but this is right before the final fight, right? Is Seven going to show up & find Unknown instead of Ray? Are they even going to do the brother reveal? Ray’s going to die, isn’t he? I can’t help but think that if V had told him, Seven would have tried harder, would have gone there personally. But then maybe Seven would get hurt too? Is Seven going to die?!

Yes, Jihyun! Find & love yourself! Live for yourself! This is an excellent idea! I approve of this. You need this. Forget about Rika! I wish you luck!

Sonofabitchfuckfuckfuck. Ray deserved better. RAY DESERVED BETTER. That poor boy. He was so used, so confused, & so so tormented. I’m so angry. This wasn’t fair. I’m going to pout & be pissy about this for a long time. I’m hoping he really isn’t dead. Please please. I’m going to be in denial about this, I know it. I mean, they did show him in the control room in Mint Eye. He gave his final words & then there was the explosion. Is it too silly to hope that he somehow got out? Maybe...

Wowowow. That final chat with Rika, begging like that. That was brutal. Even in the middle there she switched between pleading & saying she’d get revenge. I really do pity her & I hope she gets help in this route but at this point I don’t even know. I’m on this emotional see-saw where I really dislike her but on the other side pity her. I’ll admit, I’m spending a lot more time on the side of not liking her.

DAY ELEVEN

She’s not dead. There’s no way. I won’t believe it until I see a body (same with Saeran). YOU CAN’T TRICK ME. I’M A VETERAN OF THESE PLOYS!

Jumin. Fucking. Han. This man is so good. He’s so strong even though he’s struggling himself. That “lean on me” line nearly had me tearing up. Jumin Han is a GOOD MAN.

Also, Jumin said it isn’t confirmed if the hacker was in the building or not. I mean, being in a direct explosion could very well decimate a body, but what if he got out? Ray did sound pretty desolate about not having anywhere else to go & did seem pretty resigned to this suicide mission though. This isn’t fair.

PARTY ATTEMPT #1 (Invited 24 guests) - Good Ending?

WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Is this like a “bad end” party? Why is she here? I fucked up, didn’t I? (I feel like the Minister of Magic in Harry Potter shouting “He’s back!”) ((If she gets to live & Ray actually died... I can’t. I’m still so angry.))

Yoosung, noooo!

OMG YOOSUNG, YES!

V’s mom has managed to make me tear up nearly every time she pops up on the screen. She had such impact on this route despite not be present in the here & now of it. She’s an angel. A fucking angel. Every CG of her’s has blessed me. This background story on her was so amazing. Her struggle & sacrifice for her son & finding purpose in herself after losing so much was... so beautiful. I’m going to cry again.

BABY JIHYUN WITH HIS MOM CG. I’m crying for real. This is beautiful. The emotions for this were so so good.

What is with this game & Alaska?! Everyone is going there. Maybe Ray went to Alaska!

That’s rich, Zen. Calling Jumin an alcoholic. Pot meet kettle.

Shit goddamn Jumin, was it necessary to be THAT savage about Zen’s selfies?

Jihyun turned into a beautiful happy hippie.

Hippie Jihyun is hot as hell. That smile. Wow.

Holy shit. “I want to love you. I will love you. I love you, just as I love myself.” That’s a damn good line! Damn good.

Honestly, I am beyond glad, thrilled, immensely happy that there was a two year gap between Jihyun & MC actually getting together. If he had just jumped right into a relationship with MC after all of this, I would have questioned the foundation of the relationship. He was not emotionally ready for that so I’m glad the story allowed the time break so he could grow, heal, discover on his own.

I like that Jihyun wanted to be called his birth name again, not the ‘persona’ V that he’d created for his art, like a cloak or shield. He found & accepted himself & wanted to be that person. That’s beautiful. Self-love is very hard to achieve. I know a lot of people struggle with it, so it’s nice to see that represented in a character.

I want answers for what happened with Rika. We are just to assume she was sent off somewhere to get help with no updates?

I do not like that Seven was never told about Ray. I know it would cause more hurt for him, but he deserved to know. That just felt dirty. I feel dirty.

I am genuinely impressed that Yoosung was the one to stand up at the end to apprehend Rika. He was a little tornado this entire route & I was glad to see him finally understand at the end that this Rika was not the same one he cared so deeply for. Being the one to grab her & hand her in, had to have hurt him - but he stepped up & did it. That was good progression for him. Took him a long damn while to get to that acceptance, but that action of his took a lot.

I’m glad Jihyun’s route focused more on his development to turn away from obsession & look toward himself. It’s a similar kind of character growth in the other routes (learning to accept yourself & grow beyond something holding you back). These stories were never just about falling in love with someone, they grew to be better versions of themselves in the end. Jihyun’s development was definitely more artistic (cushioned in prose & woven in metaphors & abstracts) than others, but it was interesting just the same.

I like that they made such a big deal about Jihyun getting his eyes repaired. He refused to get them healed other times, but showing he was willing now & grateful to Jumin for setting it up was a nice touch to see how developed he’s become & showing he’s willing to let go of Rika (despite him talking about her every other sentence still…). Baby steps. He’s letting go of the hurt, recognizing he’s worthy of love & happiness too.

Maybe it’s just me, but was anyone else sort of wanting to see a CG of one of Jihyun’s paintings? I would have liked to have seen what they considered his painting style. He looks much more relaxed & carefree in his good ending CG, I wondered if his paintings would have reflected that.

PARTY ATTEMPT #2 (Invited 5 guests) - Normal Ending?

I really like this idea of Jihyun just venturing out on his own to find what he likes, what makes him happy. The self-discovery journey. But boy, you were just stabbed. I don’t think you can be discharged within a day after a celiotomy.

Jihyun talking about his dream house is ridiculously cute. This man essentially wants a little messy cottage in the city. How adorable. He went from being a materialistic & pragmatic teenager to being content with a sort of abstract pleasures in his adulthood.

Oh, so in this ending Jihyun asks MC right off the bat to be with him. Seems a little rushed, no? I don’t think he’s ready. He’s feeling a lot right now. Who is to say his obsession won’t transfer over to MC? He claims to have learned his lesson & to recognize the difference between obsession & love but I still think it’s very soon. I really wouldn’t want this to turn into Jihyun becoming dependent on MC after this emotional trauma & that being the basis for their relationship.

MC’S ONLY RESPONSE IS “ALRIGHT” Omg. So bland.

Are we to assume that Rika is actually dead in this ending? Because she never showed back up? Hmm.

So there’s a 2 year jump in this ending too, only we’re to assume that MC & Jihyun have been together as a couple during that time?

Ohhhhhh you can call Jihyun “darling”! <3

Wait, didn’t Jihyun say he wanted a little house in the city with curtains to block out the sun? This looks like a high rise apartment with massive fucking windows & sheer curtains that let in a lot of sun... but ok.

WHOA WHOA, Jihyun became a musician in this ending?! I want to know what he plays! Does he play piano like his theme song?! Does he play violin like his mom?!?! I will cry.

Jihyun’s pouty voice is ADORABLE! Holy crap where has this been all my life?!

Oh, interesting! He’s still very sensitive to the opinions of others (I mean, I certainly didn’t expect that to go away, you’re always going to fear criticisms). At least, he seems a little more open to hearing them, even if he’s hesitant to play for MC again since he wants her to like what he plays. He’s still a little shy, private, & sensitive. Cute.

These rich boys & their pancakes…

Jumin obsessed with pancake recipes confirmed. I love him so much.

His answer about their relationship was very sweet & shows how he’s come to understand a give & take balance, as well as loving himself & genuinely loving together. That was cute.

Still pissed that Seven never found out about Ray.

I want to know what instrument Jihyun plays!

OTHER

I went from being very skeptical of Jihyun’s character (he just felt downright shady) in other routes to liking him (now that we see the depths of his self-damaging & self-sacrificing behavior & the full reason behind all the secrets). He’s certainly not perfect. He’s made many mistakes. He was misguided in a lot of aspects. He’s still learning & now trying to do better. He’s talented, pretty, sensitive, kind, & generous. He was a victim as well & even had a hand in his own progressing downfall before he realized his mistakes & reevaluated himself & the situation. I definitely like him a lot more now that I know the reasoning behind his actions & seeing the changes in him for the better - especially seeing him accept & appreciate himself more.

Yeah yeah, I’m going to be that person - I’m sad we didn’t get a kiss CG! I wanted one, not going to lie. Maybe we’ll get one for his After Ending if he gets an after ending?! Who knows. I wanna smooch him, that’s for sure.

I expected to like the normal ending more since I liked all the other normal endings for the other characters more than their good endings, however I find myself liking Jihyun’s good ending over his normal ending. I just can’t get past the fact that I think he needed that self-evaluation time away from MC. That two years apart (though probably a lot longer than I would have expected the game to do) felt necessary. In his good ending, Jihyun sounded much more certain that MC was who he wanted to be with & to love instead of asking MC straight away to just stick by him in his normal ending. In his normal ending, MC questioned him, & he sort of recited a dialogue about their love. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but it sounded like he was trying to reassure himself? Or maybe MC was just trying to gently remind him that yes, what we have is real, & healthy, & good for both of us & just needed him to say it aloud? Regardless, good ending sat better with me overall.

I still want to know what the other photos were in that series of photographs he took. I mean Seven, sounded pretty damn shocked by them. We didn’t even get a line about if it was actual imagines of inflicted harm or salacious material (I’m not trying to be a pervert for once, I’m genuinely curious).

Ray deserved better. I don’t think I can put it into any other words than that. I was very upset with his end in all of this. He didn’t deserve that. Only Rika & V knew his identity. Rika is either dead or being treated somewhere (depending on whichever ending you cater to) & in neither of the endings did Jihyun make known that the hacker was Saeran. I’m legitimately angry about this. How can Saeran even rest in peace that way? Is only the audience (& MC) to mourn for him? Everyone (RFA) is mourning for Rika in a sense but Ray deserves SOMEONE who knows who he was. Sure, Rika has that moment where she screamed & felt remorse, but she still didn’t speak up. Would anyone have believed her if she had? Maybe not. But he deserved someone trying on his behalf. Maybe I’m sitting too long on this, but it felt dirty. I know I said that earlier somewhere, but I still think it. This was wrong. He died in an explosion, alone, with only two people knowing who he really was & they didn’t fucking say anything. Seven is never going to really know what happened to his brother, so what happens if he goes looking for him in the future? Fuck, I’m crying again. I’m so sorry, Ray. You didn’t deserve this, you just trusted the wrong people.

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