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#I’d hate to never see them ever again after this shit season…

sweet-babyrose · 2 years

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What Are Friends For? (Mapi Leon & Alexia Putellas x Reader)

Summary: Mapi helps her bestie, Alexia, prepare to propose to her girlfriend

This was hurriedly finished because that game was devastating and we all need something good right now. Hopefully it's still fun to read.

Proposal location: Barcelona Unique Hotel Room | W Barcelona (marriott.co.uk) if you scroll all the way down, you can see the amazing view from the terrace

"Maria! Pay attention." Alexia reached over and pinched Mapi.

"Ow!" she yelled, rubbing her arm. "Chill, Ale. She's not going to be here for hours yet."

"You know her. She'll show up at the worst possible minute."

"Is that any way to talk about your fiancé?"

"Not my fiancé," Alexia reminded her.

"Almost fiancé," Mapi corrected with a teasing eye roll. "You're asking her in a few days. She's going to say yes. It's a given."

"You really think she'll say yes?"

"Duh, dude. That girl is more obsessed with you than some of your crazy online fans."

"Shut up," she muttered. She ducked her head, looking down at the pictures again. "Okay, which of these two is better?" she asked, pointing at two pictures. They were both photos from the first trip you ever took together. Mapi pointed at one. Alexia moved it to the pile of photos she was planning to use and dropped the other photo back into the box she'd pulled it out of.

Taking more photos out, she heard the key in the lock. "Shit!"

Mapi grabbed the photos off the table and shoved them under her computer while Alexia hurriedly closed the box and shoved it in a cabinet. They both turned to look at the door as it flew open, surprise all over their faces.

"What are you two getting up to? You look like I just caught you looking at porn." You closed the door and put your bag next to it.

"It was one time!" Mapi yelled as you walked closer to them. "And I fully expected you to stay in Alexia's room that night."

You bent over to give Alexia a kiss hello.

Alexia pulled you down onto her lap. "You're home early."

"That's not suspicious at all." You wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Not even a 'hello' or 'how was your afternoon' to try to distract me first?"

"We were just talking about where we should go for vacation at the end of the season." The lie easily rolled off Mapi's tongue, saving Alexia from having to make something up. She knew there was nothing Alexia hated more than lying to you or keeping things from you.

“Since I met you two, I’ve never been anywhere for vacation other than Ibiza.” You looked between the two of them, narrowing your eyes. "You know what, I actually don't want to know." You pushed up from Alexia to stand next to them. “Are you staying for dinner, Maria?”

"Only if Alexia promises not to show off her terrible dance moves while we cook."

"I'm not promising that. Y/N loves my terrible dance moves."

"It's true," you said, with a laugh. Backing up into the kitchen, you started pulling out vegetables from the fridge, assuming Maria would stay. She always did. You shook your head when you heard them arguing over who was the better dancer. There was no point in telling them they were both equally terrible.

After dinner, they said goodnight to Mapi and sat to cuddle for a few minutes on the couch before bed. Alexia tucked herself under your arm and laid her head on your chest.

“I want to take you on a date this weekend,” Alexia said, playing with the sleeve of your shirt.

“I’d love that,” you said, scratching the back of her head. “What do you want to do?”

“I’ll plan it. You just show up looking beautiful.”

"I can't wait." You leaned down to give her a kiss.

~~~

On Saturday, Alexia met Mapi at the hotel she had chosen for the night. She'd gotten a corner suite with a huge terrace overlooking the ocean. You had always dreamed of getting engaged at the beach. Alexia wanted this moment to be just for the two of you, though. The beaches in Barcelona were always crowded and you both were easily recognized by most people in the city now. It was both a gift and a curse.

“Do you know what you’re going to say?” Mapi asked. It was the only part of the proposal that Alexia hadn't shared with her. “Or are you winging it?”

“Mostly winging it," Alexia said as she continued clipping photos to the boards she'd brought. "There’s a few things I’ve been thinking I should say. But I didn’t want it to sound rehearsed.”

"She's going to love it," Mapi said, hearing the nerves in her friend's voice. "This is the perfect proposal, Ale."

"I don't know why I'm nervous." Alexia looked at all the pictures in front of her. There were pictures from your life together, from the time you were friends up to now. "We've talked so much about this. I know she wants this. And I definitely want it."

"You're just overthinking. It's going to be amazing." Mapi tugged Alexia's arm. "Come on, let's go move all that patio furniture. Maybe getting your sweat on will take your mind off your nerves."

~~~

Alexia had asked you to meet her in the lobby of the hotel at 6pm. It was easy enough to convince you it was only for dinner because you had been wanting to eat at one of the restaurants at this hotel for months. You thought it was a little strange that she hadn't come with you from home. But she had said she needed to help Mapi finish something and would get ready at her house rather than driving all the way home and then all the way back to the hotel.

You found her sitting in the lobby, dressed in a strappy plain black dress with a very high slit. Her legs were crossed and she was leaning forward, typing on her phone. Her hair was softly curled and falling forward to partially cover her face. You gave yourself a minute to admire her. She looked stiff, you realized. You hoped maybe this date would help relax her a little.

Crossing the lobby to her, you touched her head. Her eyes traveled up your dress to your face.

"You look incredible," she murmured. She stood, pulling you into a tight hug.

"You do, too. I stopped to stare at you for a minute because you took my breath away." You pulled back to give her a small kiss. You dropped your arms and she took your hand in hers. "Lead the way, hermosa."

You were surprised when she lead you towards the elevator and used a key card to press the button for the 21st floor.

"I thought we were going to dinner."

"We are. I just want to show you something first. I figured you wouldn't mind if we stayed here overnight."

"Oh, but I don't have anything with me."

She giggled and kissed your cheek. "I brought a bag for you, baby. Don't worry." She slipped her arm around your waist, holding you close against her. When the elevator stopped at 21, she lead you out and down to the end of the hall. She unlocked the door and held it open for you to step through.

You were immediately greeted by the sight of a huge bed in front of floor to ceiling windows, giving you a clear view of the ocean below. "Wow. This is beautiful."

"The thing I want to show you is out on the terrace," she said. She walked you over to the large sliding doors and opened them for you.

For the second time that night, Alexia took your breath away. Stepping out onto the terrace, you were greeted by dozens of photos of you and Alexia. There were hundreds of rose petals strewn across the ground. The sun was setting over the ocean below and you could see all of Barcelona from up here.

"Babe," you whispered. You let her pull you over, closer to the edge. She took both of your hands in hers, holding them between you.

"When you came to Barcelona five years ago, I fell for you so fast. I spent so long wishing you were mine. You’re the most incredible woman and somehow you love me, too.

"I love every moment with you, even when you’re annoying me on purpose or when you’re angry with me. I love that we always end up dancing in the kitchen when we cook. I love the way you love me. I love waking up before you and listening to those stupid noises you make. I love our life together. I love you so much."

Behind the jacuzzi, Mapi tried to keep silent and not interrupt the moment. She had set up Alexia's phone on the other side of the terrace to take a video and she was using her own phone in this spot to take photographs. Alexia knew she was there, thankfully. Y/N looked like she was ready to take Alexia back inside and make use of the giant bed. Hopefully Alexia remembered Mapi was hiding up there.

She snapped more photos as Alexia reached behind one of the chair cushions and pulled out the ring box, as she got down on a knee, and as Y/N threw herself into Alexia's arms, pulling her back to her feet. She caught the kiss with the ring box visible in Alexia's hand still.

Clearly Alexia did not remember that Mapi was up there. As the two continued kissing the heck out of each other, Mapi ducked behind the jacuzzi to look at the photos. Her heart melted for her friends. They both looked so happy. Looking at the last picture of their kiss, she made the instant decision that everyone needed to see it. She posted it to Instagram as a public story, tagging them both, and adding a few hearts for good measure.

Alexia could kill her tomorrow. She was clearly too busy right now to do anything about it.

#alexia putellas #alexia putellas imagine #mapi leon #mapi leon imagine #woso imagine

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canonically47 · 3 months

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canonically47.tumblr.com/post/742593997706559488

this one

okay well total drama has a LOT of obvious mistakes and most of them come from the time in which it was written and published and the rushed season of only 13 instead of 26 episodes starting with ROTI

i also feel like they treat their characters and ships very badly, making them go right back where they started if they ever get any growth, which rarely happens. or their development is too sudden and not believable. priya, max, scarlett, that mini-arc shasmine had about splitting the money, aleheather in TDWT, prileb in TD 2024...

i rewatched ROTI and the girls were mistreated horribly. what can you expect from a season where the finalists are two guys? dakota’s internal issues were never discussed further than a funny haha moment when dawn read her aura, dawn never got to do anything for her team and her elimination was rushed, jo’s internalized mysoginy was a haha joke and never adressed properly, zoey had a whole villain-and-back-to-hero arc and STILL didn’t make finale???

also i hate when they introduce some groups and never further develop them, or develop them very little. lindsay, beth and ezekiel could’ve been an ICONIC trio. i miss leshawna and gwen’s friendship so much, and same goes for bowie and emma. jo and brick had so much potential to become allies or at least frenemies, amy and sammy were not handled well, THE E-SCOPE TRIO!!! i’m in shambles

so if i wrote TDI i’d just give the characters some proper development, more moments to shine, more fun relationships with the others. this show is based on its characters, they’re the stars!! so why not make them shine instead of burn??

gen 1 is too much work to rewrite but i’d keep TDI about the same except have a leshawna vs gwen finale, with leshawna as a ‘canon’ winner. TDA would have a harold vs lindsay finale with harold as the ‘official’ winner.

in TDWT i’d cut the duncney-gwuncan arc, make duncan never come back cuz fuck that guy, gwourtney wins. sierra gets better development. noah makes merge and fulfills his schemer role, constantly sabotaging alejandro. they become frenemies. aleheather still wins and goes to finale. alejandro doesn’t get the robot costume and we don’t hear from him again until TDAS.

for ROTI, would make jo a proper antagonist and make her butt heads with scott when the merge happened. my final six for ROTI would be scott, jo, zoey, brick, lightning and anne maria. yes, brick and anne maria, you read that right.

i still think scott shouldn’t make finale, and jo only if she got development. so maybe the merge could happen just two episodes earlier to get more stuff out of them, so the merge would include cameron and mike. scott would go before jo, and jo would be left to fend for herself after scott got cameron eliminated. this is where i would make her develop a friendship with anne maria and brick. get zoey in there and you have the anti-scott alliance. they get him out (NO TRAUMA CHAIR NEEDED, HE WILL BE FINE) and then lightning, then the girls unite against brick. sorry man.

the finale would be between two of the girls, i’d like to see jomaria or joey fight, jo needs that development. the one who gets out previously is an insta-elimination and not decided by the others.

and voilá! jo gets development and some healthy friendships! her and brick could also get together but maybe in another season. this season is for her alone to shine, she deserves it.

oh, and that’s the main thing about ROTI - i’d give them two more seasons. they deserve a WT-esque season.

i’d completely rewrite TDPI. make rodney first diss when the girls are disgusted by him (and also shit him cuz fuck him), dave an earlier boot, get beardo like third or fourth cuz i wanna see more of him, give scarlett a proper character arc instead of a rushed one throughout just one episode, make max a bit smarter and let him become a ‘hero’ rather than a villain he wants to be by rescuing everyone from scarlett since he knows her weaknesses best...

my ideal final five are shawn, jasmine, max, topher and ella. also my five favorites so no wonder. i’ll explain their arcs.

topher - 5th: shawn and jasmine, as well as max and ella, become duos after the scarlett incident (maybe it happens earlier?), and topher is outside of any alliance. plus he was getting kinda annoying, not to mention he gave chris too many ideas for challenges. damn it, topher!

ella - 4th: when she is forbidden from singing, she still goes behind chris’ back and does it, only that she intercepts sugar’s note and burns it. sugar is an earlier boot than originally because ella realizes she just hates her guts and she’s trying to befriend her for nothing. when ella stops singing, she puts her head in the game more than usual, but her refusal to hurt animals and serenade them instead gets her out eventually, by chris, not by the others.

max - 3rd: with no alliance and a softer spot than usual, he gets out at his own, last challenge.

finale: shawn vs jasmine

the same conflict about splitting the money, only that it comes earlier and is developed more. for one, chris shows jasmine the confessionals right after max’s voting ceremony.

shawn’s helper ends up being ella, but she’s been watching from playa des losers and is unhappy with how shawn treated jasmine. meanwhile, max is jasmine’s helper. max and jasmine sabotage shawn, ella doesn’t help him, but then when max and ella are given the controls for the island, they both realize the gravity of what they’ve done when they see shawn and jasmine buried in snow.

both jasmine and shawn get an ending. in both endings, jasmine gets out of the snow, doesn’t pay attention to the finish line, and goes to search for shawn, who pops out in confusion. the two have a heart-to-heart interrupted by chris to announce the race is still happening, and they have ten seconds left. in shawn’s ending, jasmine just nods to him and he crosses; in jasmine’s ending, shawn insists she crosses. pretty similar endings, the outcome is about the same, but i like to think jasmine’s is the ‘canon’ one.

and then they get another season!

so, our seasons are...

gen 1 - 3 seasons: total drama island, total drama action, total drama world tour

gen 2 - 3 seasons: total drama revenge of the island, total drama retour, total drama cruise or lose

gen 3 - 2 seasons: total drama pahkitew island, total drama reaction

gen 1 x gen 2 x gen 3: total drama all stars

TDAS would include eight contestants of each generation. gen 1 gets heather, alejandro, owen, noah, gwen, courtney, sierra, and leshawna. gen 2 gets jo, anne maria, zoey, mike, brick, cameron, lightning and scott. gen 3 gets shawn, jasmine, topher, max, ella, sugar, sammy and scarlett.

and then for the reboot i’d just make bowie win for the first season. the second season would have more development.

emma and bowie become friends again. mkulia become reluctant allies but still dislike each other. eventually they warm up to each other tho 👀. ripaxel also happens over the course of more episodes. couples butt heads - mkulia, rajbow and ripaxel - but mkulia dominate the game. short ripaxel-mkulia alliance in which they get out prileb (who have a better development trust), wayne and bowie.

damien gets to keep his immunity idol but doesn’t need to use it until the final five: axel, julia, mk, damien and raj. the girls unite against him, but he and raj voted for julia, so you can imagine mk is unhappy, but damien wins immunity. yikes.

so finale time is damien, raj and axel. everyone gets an ending, but damien is the ‘canon’ winner because HE DESERVED IT COME ON.

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annemriex · 2 years

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I see a lot of posts a lot of posts about how much people hated Steve in season 1 and how he’s a completely different and better person from season 2 onwards but I don’t agree. I genuinely loved Steve and could resonate with his actions in season 1 from my first viewing of the show and so I made a list to show that he’s not as terrible or different as a lot of people say.

Steve invites Nancy to his house because his parents aren’t home. Nancy interprets this as a party and invites Barb to come with her. I’d like to argue to this was not the case. 1. There is only the five of them total at the house which suggests Steve really asked Nancy on a double date not to a party. 2. Steve is known as the Keg King of Hawkins high before being dethroned by Billy in season 2 at Tina’s party. This shows that when Steve actually throws a party it looks a lot like Tina’s. Not a group of 5 teens sitting at the pool with no music and a couple of beers.

So Steve although shocked that Barb is here never questions it he’s just happy that Nancy agreed to come and hang out and I’m fact although he’s quite awkward and clearly doesn’t know how to interact with Barb he always makes an effort to include her even when she clearly hates being there and him.

The next day when Nancy is asking if anyone saw Barb leave and Tommy and Carol are being nasty not really giving her a proper answer Steve tells them to knock it off and to answer the question seriously.

After the police get involved and they are going to phone all the parents all Steve asks is that Nancy not mention that they were drinking beer because Barb wasn’t even drinking any of them. I know a lot of people think that’s really harsh and selfish but honestly what scared 16 year old wouldn’t ask for their underage drinking to be told to the police when it wasn’t relevant to what the police are asking? He’s not saying don’t say she was at mine or anything, he wants to help just not to drop himself in shit at the same time.

Then Nicole tells them that Jonathan took pictures of his girlfriend in her underwear through his bedroom window. I honestly don’t think any of that fight at the school was that bad, maybe he shouldn’t have broke the camera but honestly if I was a braver person, I would in that situation. In fact I might have even went to the police for stalking instead.

Then he later wants to check on his girlfriend who’s friend has just gone missing because she didn’t feel comfortable leaving the house. So he’s worried and wants to make sure she’s okay, he climbs up to her bedroom window (a pre agreed form of entry) to knock and ask how she is but he sees her cuddling the man who he just confronted for taking unwanted pictures of her in her underwear. He then understandably thinks she’s been cheating on him.

His friends (I want to stress he wasn’t actually the one to do it) spray paint about Nancy on the movie theatre. Nancy appears again with Jonathan and is angry about the spray paint when she realised why he’s angry she get goes “you came by last night.” And doesn’t say “I wondered if Jonathan’s pictures had any sighting of Barb and he was comforting me when we couldn’t find any.” He then gets angry and lashes out at Jonathan which a lot said was out of line of course it was but how would you be without any of the context the show gave you of Nancy and Jonathan’s side of things?

After having like 10-15 minutes to calm down after the fight Steve feels regret about how far he took things and seeing that Tommy and Carol have no regret what’s so ever he instantly decides he wants to be better and if they don’t want to then he’ll move on without them.

He then goes to Jonathan’s house to apologise not to look good in front of Nancy as he didn’t know she was there. In fact it honestly would have reignited my rage in his shoes that she was still with Jonathan after all that but he just admits that he was wrong and he’s only there to say sorry.

Steve bought Jonathan a new camera for Christmas but gave it to Nancy to pass on as he didn’t want Jonathan to reject it just because it was from him.

Timelines might be slightly wrong I didn’t check what order events happen in the show it’s just been stuck in my head for days and I had to get it out

#not Nancy wheeler friendly #not Jonathan Byers friendly #tagging not friendly just to be safe #steve harrington #meta post #stranger things #stranger things meta #Steve harrington meta #stranger things season 1 #long post

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islandfate · 7 months

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me? finishing my s3 character recap only a day after completing the season? crazy. anyway, more of my thoughts!!! i don’t think i have anything very controversial in here, but this is almost 3k words of opinions so … enjoy!

jack – starting off strong with mr jack shephard. surprisingly, i don’t think i hated jack this season. sure, he pissed me off every now and again, but as i’ve said before, that’s just standard with this character. i’ve begun to expect and accept that. otherwise, he was pretty okay? i don’t like the first seven episodes of this season at all, i just absolutely hate the surgery plot. and let’s not forget ‘stranger in a strange land,’ which might just be the worst episode of this entire show. i don’t like ‘fire + water’ any more than the next guy, but it was significantly better than whatever the fuck we got in episode 9. just terrible. anyway, i understood why jack wouldn’t do surgery on ben, and i thought his line, “i just wanted you to understand how you’re gonna die,” was kind of fire. made me laugh, that’s for sure. never thought i’d see the day! later on, i enjoyed his relationship with juliet and i didn’t hate him as much when he told the camp that he hadn’t told them anything because he hadn’t decided what to do about it yet. used to that made me soooo mad, but this time around i was kinda like … i mean, yeah, you guys are the ones that wanted him to be leader. if that’s the decision he made, i think it’s fine. overall, jack wasn’t intensely annoying and i didn’t really mind him that much.

ben – ohhhhh ben. how could i ever not love you? we don’t get a lot from him during the surgery plot, or even after, but i think we start to really see who he is when locke blows up the submarine - all because ben manipulated him into doing it, which is just amazing to me. we especially see more of him in ‘the brig,’ how he so easily manipulates situations in his favor, and of course his centric episode which just … kills me. roger was a piece of shit and i stand by that!! of course, i don’t think the entire dharma initiative deserved to die, but it’s interesting to see someone who was in dharma eventually become the leader of the others. dharma’s very enemies! i also think it’s soooo ben to try and play up the whole jacob situation. the cabin scene did confuse me a lot - it could either be that ben was pretending to see someone, but that when shit started flying around and the fire started he just kind of rolled with the punches; OR ben was seeing someone there, and if so, it would’ve had to have been the man in black. which would make sense, if he was manipulating ben into being jealous of locke. as we know this works. however, ben seems to genuinely believe that jacob spoke to locke, and you can see in his face that he isn’t happy about it - enough to where i think he’s never spoken to or seen jacob at all. either way, i do believe the man in black was the one to say “help me,” and i lean more toward the idea that ben didn’t see anyone and was putting on a little show. but i love when ben is like, “well i certainly hope jacob helps you,” after he fucking shoots locke. hilarious. the one thing i hate is ben’s weird infatuation with juliet, but i’ll probably talk about that more in s4 when we get the dreaded flashback. also i think you can really see ben’s desperation at the end of this season, like for once he’s telling the truth - these people that are coming to the island are bad!! they’re gonna kill people!!! but no one listens. which, i can’t really blame them, ben is a known liar and manipulator, but i think it’s interesting how genuine ben’s motives are. he just wants to protect the island. seeing him get beat up again was also kind of funny not gonna lie. the writers really just want you to hate ben so bad ( like pretending he got sayid, jin, and bernard killed ) alongside other shit, but he’s just sooo likeable i don’t care about his crimes. and he really didn’t do anything that insane. anyway, ben was my man, and i cannot wait to see him be his best self in s4.

desmond – i adore desmond. i forgot how much i love him in this season, he’s seriously great in every scene he’s in. his plot with charlie is definitely s3’s most redeeming quality, and i find it insanely funny that the B Plot is more interesting than whatever the hell is going on with the others / jack, kate, and sawyer. ‘flashes before your eyes’ was nominated for an award and i think that’s telling to how fucking amazing that episode is. i got full body chills when eloise tells desmond that things have to play out as they were meant to, and especially when desmond tells charlie that he’ll have to die. it’s just amazing. he’s such a great guy and i think every single one of his centric episodes rock, he’s just an amazingly written character and the show wouldn’t be nearly the same without him.

charlie – charlie becomes one of my favorite characters in this season. he kinda drops down in s2 for obvious reasons, but he’s just SO great in s3. his plot is by far the most interesting and devastating. him coming to terms with the fact that he’s going to die, desmond saving him multiple times, ‘greatest hits’ … oh man that episode fucking destroyed me. i hadn’t seen it in a few years so i really got hit hard with his flashbacks and his interactions with everyone else - literally right before he’s knowingly going to his death. when he’s got tears in his eyes before he goes down to the looking glass??? i nearly died. it’s so fucking sad. and we also talked a bit about how so many of his other deaths have to do with water … foreshadowing or coincidence? no idea but i love it either way. obvs ‘not penny’s boat’ is iconic and for good reason too. his death just hurts. i love charlie and i’m sad to see him go, but his death does kick off major things for s4 so it is important, no matter how tragic it is.

hurley – i loved hurley this season. his interactions with the other survivors, especially sawyer, are just great - and him being the one to get all of this important information ( naomi telling him that flight 815 was found, finding out ethan wasn’t on the plane ) definitely hints at his future in the show. ‘tricia tanaka is dead’ is one of my favorite episodes in the entire series and hurley is just great in it. the fucking asteroid makes me die laughing every time. i really love him trying to fix up the van and that whole scene is just great. overall, i adore hurley in s3 and, as usual, i look forward to seeing more of him in the next one.

sawyer – he might just be at his funniest this season. i enjoyed his relationship with kate, a lot, and i just really love him in s3! ignoring the whole surgery plot, once sawyer makes it back to camp and has to act as a stand-in leader of sorts, being tricked by hurley into doing nice things - i just love when he does shit like that. and helping with the van, trying to solve the whole nikki and paulo fiasco … he’s just great. i have nothing bad to say about him ( ever ) and i think he can just be really sweet and does cute things and I LOVE HIM!!

nikki & paulo – oh, i bet you didn’t expect to see these two up here, did you? let’s be real, they were never going to go into honorable mentions because i have too much to talk about with them and ‘exposé.’ anyway, as surprising as it sounds, i really liked paulo. i genuinely felt bad for him - i mean, obviously not killing someone and stealing the guy’s diamonds - but, you know, for the way nikki treated him. more than anything, paulo wanted the diamonds to be gone so that he and nikki could just … be a normal couple, without that hanging over their heads forever. and to have nikki do what she did to him?! it’s sooo fucked up and it just made me feel awful for him. as for nikki, i did not like her, but i did love the scene at the beginning of the episode where she’s playing as a stripper. “razzle dazzle!” what a stupid yet iconic quote. that episode is just so fucking dumb and funny, i can’t not love it. another one of my favorites in the series. anyway, i think nikki got a good taste of karma for what she did to paulo, but their deaths were just absolutely horrific once you find out they’re paralyzed and are being buried alive!!! i swear i think about that shit all the time and it makes me shiver. anyway, love these random ass side characters and i think it’s funny they got killed off so quickly ( especially considering this was only done because fans hated them so much ). rip nikki and paulo you guys didn’t deserve that but you had a great flashback episode.

kate – kate was … meh? she didn’t annoy me, but nothing she did really stood out to me. i only enjoyed her scenes with sawyer, pretty much, as i think their relationship is really fun ( and better than whatever the fuck kate and jack have going on ). genuinely kinda hurt me tho that she blamed herself for jack not being able to get off the island. like girlie that was all ben and locke! not you!! the gays will be gay let them do their thing. anyway i can’t think of anything else interesting with her, sooo that’s about it.

locke – this is the start of the best relationship in the series, which would beeee you guessed it! locke and ben. at least to me. nothing lives up to these two and some of the shit they say to each other??? fucking insane. it’s so gay i can’t even fathom it, especially on ben’s side. i really love the ways they both affect each other, ben’s consuming jealousy of locke because of his relationship with the island, locke’s anger at ben because more than anything he wants to trust him - it just fucks me up. and, obviously, i love their slow burn friendship in s4 but i’ll talk about that more when we get there. anyway, i think locke did some crazy shit this season but i really liked him at the end, when walt tells him he has work to do and he kills naomi - putting him and ben on the same side of this situation. it’s interesting how devoted locke is to the island, but obviously he still has his morals and no matter how much he wants to, he can’t shoot jack. and i think that’s kind of the difference between him and ben - locke embraces his humanity despite the island’s commands, while ben completely foregoes his. for the rest of this season i didn’t hate locke but i didn’t necessarily love him either. he faded into the background a little bit for me, but i do love the episode where we see him get thrown out of the building. fucking crazy. he really just blew up a lot of shit this season and i’m here for it. makes me think of that meme from s6 of ben, richard, and miles and their moniger “team blow shit up.” i love it. embracing locke’s absolute insanity in the wake of MiB … anywho, yeah, locke on his own didn’t hit so much but alongside ben he really captures my attention. love when he tells ben that he’s the man behind the curtain, the wizard of oz. it’s so good!! locke’s delivery is always great and i think he’s just a phenomenal character ( and terry o’quinn kills it with the acting ). enough said from me.

sayid – i’m gonna be so honest, i didn’t give much of a shit about sayid this season. the only episode that hits for me is ‘enter 77,’ when sayid, kate, and locke first encounter mikhail and we get that flashback of sayid and the woman he tortured, as well as her cat. the whole story she tells about the cat as well as herself … it definitely made me a little emotional. otherwise, i didn’t care much for sayid but i didn’t have many qualms like i did with him in s2. he’s kind of just there.

claire – i wish i had more to say on claire but i really don’t. she literally did nothing for me this season, i didn’t care about her that much, but i did like her flashback episode and her thing with the birds ( not that it’s going to help anything ). aside from that, i have nothing else to talk about! moving on…

juliet – i do really enjoy juliet’s presence in this show, she’s one of my favorite characters and i love the way she’s written. her short-lived thing with jack is not really my thing, but we can move past that. oh and her flashbacks also don’t hit for me, ever, but that’s not really her fault. anyway, her hatred of ben is interesting ( which is for valid reasons, obviously ) and i think it’s cool to see an other who slowly merges with the survivors because it’s the first time that she can really get away. i think she’s definitely the beginning of these two groups coming together, which will be needed in s4 considering who’s coming to the island. juliet genuinely cares for people but carries out ben’s orders nonetheless - until she really has the option not to. and the little bits we get of her and sawyer are fun, i’m excited to see how they develop more in s5. overall she’s a great character aaaand i look forward to seeing her on screen again.

sun & jin – jin was fun this season, i liked his little friendship with hurley/charlie/sawyer with the van, and then later with hurley/charlie/desmond when they go camping. love the little scary story he tells, i just really enjoyed him. sun was alright, didn’t stand out to me too much, but i do really like the episode where she goes to the staff to get an ultrasound. she and juliet are interesting there, and i loved sun’s reaction to the baby being jin’s … it was just so human and kind of ripped my heart out, like she’s crying in joy but also she knows she’s going to die, but that’s okay because at least she didn’t betray jin in this terrible way. anyway, i can’t think of much more to do with these two, but i love their relationship as usual!

eko – we don’t get to see eko much in this season, but his centric episode is fucking great and i looooove his deal with the smoke monster. my thought has always been that eko was a candidate and the monster was testing him, looking through his memories to see what could be exploited - and most likely see how impressive of a candidate he would be, considering eko didn’t even flinch when he first saw the monster. then in s3 we get MiB leading him away, posing as his brother, and my assumption is that because eko doesn’t feel guilt for the things he’s done, because he doesn’t need the island or anyone else on it, he is no longer a candidate. so the smoke monster fucks him up because of it. this would also make sense because eko doesn’t move on with everyone else at the church, he moves on right then and there with yemi. i do adore eko’s quote, “i did not ask for the life that i was given, but it was given nonetheless. and with it, i did my best.” that fucking kills me. puts tears in my eyes just thinking about it. i was really sad to see him go but i do think his death is intriguing and leaves a lot to think about. rip eko tho </3

honorable mentions:

richard – didn’t get a lot from him this season, but i fucking love him. he’s one of my favs. enough said.

roger work man – i hope you fucking choke and die <3

ethan – a jumpscare every time he appeared on screen. surprisingly enjoyable to see again, i found myself liking his character. i think he just got cabin ( jungle? ) fever and went a little crazy, that’s all.

arzt – great little cameo and i loved his bug collection. so sad he exploded.

taller ghost walt – WALT I MISSED YOU!!! THERE’S MY BOY!

#dr dipshit ( elsie rewatch )#there's a divinity that shapes our ends ( s3 )#i'm so proud of myself for how quickly i finished this #enjoy!#character recap

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calif0rnia-lovers · 1 year

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Back again with questions. Only it’s about Mayans…as I said before I never returned after the s3 finale. I have bolded the questions because it somehow turned into a rant post as well.

1. Was Manny Montana being brought to Mayans worth it? OR was his addition a tactic to garner more attention back to the show?

With him being freed up from Good Girls, I keep thinking they brought Manny in because they know he can play someone who can fit into an outlaw role (ie Rio), but can also a lovable soft side (ie Johnny T). Ya’ll know I follow Manny from fan base to fan base, and love to see my guy booked & busy. But I’d hate to pick Mayans back up to find they’ve shoveled in a temporary character to avoid developing the old. My guess is he’s from the charter that showed up at the end of S3. So his character is probably just to fill in for S4 to distract us from the poor writing of S3. Probably won’t make it pass a season, kinda like how they used the prospect character for a bit and tossed him away in S3.

2. Do they ever focus on Miguel being Felipe’s child???

That storyline alone could have saved Mayans. I think Elgin could learn from “less is more.” I liked SOA and definitely noticed its faults BUT….You know our boy Kurt would have cut out all the extra “mini-shocking” storylines like Angel being a hoe (and disrespecting his momma’s memory by giving her ring to Nails), Coco’s trip to Meth Mountain (when he could have just been a father to Letty and adopt Mini), Ez and Gabby (Sutter would’ve had Ez pining for Em with them sharing some long lost love stares across town like Jax and Tara in S1), and Bishop’s dead son (I’m sorry but they could have used that screen time to develop Bish into a bad ass Prez. That “bad ass Prez” was implied when I just wanted to see Bishop fuck shit up). Used ALL that wasted screen time to develop Miguel into the central character opposite of Ez. How would this simple tactic develop a far more interesting plot than what we were served in S3? Miguel be the father of Adelita’s baby. Fuel source #1 to the fire in the ultimate brother show down. Angel has a reason to hate Miguel. Fuel source #2 to the ultimate brother show down? Miguel fathering another woman’s child…easy plug to push Emily back into Ez’s arms. Which would have given enough ammo to push the original premise of this being a battle between brothers….Fuel source #3 Miguel wouldn’t have chickened out of killing Emily. He would have had Miguel drown her. Not saying this because I don’t like her character. Just saying that Sutter knew one thing “less is more.” It takes a simple act to tip a characters motives and the plot. Prime example: Opie being killed lit a fire under Jax’s ass and started pushing him toward’s the main goal of Jax dying. If they had taken that route they could have easily killed two birds with one stone. Miguel would have finally “crossed the line” separating him from his father. They made big deal saying he wanted to be different from his dad, but in the next scene show he was a lot like the man he was running from. With Emily being dead Ez would have a motivation in the Miguel and Ez tension they pushed the entire first season, only to randomly leave it at the end of S1. My guess is instead, Elgin has Gabby killed because she was Ez’s love interest when I stopped the show. But if he did I as a viewer wouldn’t buy that as enough for Ez to tip like Jax did. He knew Gabby for what…a year??

3. Lastly, did Hank get away from Nails?

Male show runners love an age gap. I’m still salty they didn’t just give Miguel someone his age instead of someone as young as Emily. Danny Pino deserved better. I don’t know why they gave Hank that weak storyline of falling for a girl young enough to be his granddaughter. They should have given him an old lady his age. If you want to know what I miss about SOA…all the old heads had old ladies their age. Some Gemma’s and Luann’s would have sprinkled in our weekly spice of drama. You caught a glimpse of it with the shitstorms Dita was able to stir when she was alive. We needed some legit old ladies to save this plot man

4. Am I the only one who feels we were pitched an entirely different show than what we got?

I hate when shows deviate from the original plan. I came to Mayans the second I saw they added Danny Pino. Seeing him play detectives half his career let me know he was going to serve as Galindo (and he did all of season 1). Can’t believe this Danny Pino opportunity was wasted like that. I came for the deadly Galindo Cartel and poor writing served a half baked drug king pin and a MC that can’t get shit done because they spend all their time focusing on personal shit instead of securing the bag. For an MC that strives solely on the Galindo transactions, I didn’t see a brick of coke more than twice the entire three seasons I watched. Elgin tried to turn the Mayans plot into something poetic. Sir. People don’t watch shows like SOA for half baked poetry. We want you to stick to the outlaw shit. That other stuff?

#My guy should’ve learned from narcos #narcos was successful because they focused on the drugs not that other stuff #mayans mc

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londonspirit · 1 year

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2022.

Well, it has been a year indeed.

Talk about rollercoaster.

Looking back, two things immediately come to mind: the loss of my father, and OFMD.

Yeah, I know, that’s some insane comparison.

But once again, fandom helped me through real life horrors.

Losing dad was hard, but (yes, there’s a but) overall it was a relief. He’s been sick and weak for a while, and everyone who only remotely knew him, knew how terrible that was for him. He wasn’t able to do the things he wanted to do, couldn’t really do anything much at all towards the end. He was suffering a lot (as was my mom) so him finally finding peace was the best for him. I know it sounds harsh, but it’s what it was for us.

The time after that was…weird.

But we got through it, made sure mom was doing okay; and after the funeral life continued - as it tends to do.

Everything was a tad dulled and tinged with grief but when I (finally) listened to Tumblr which kept raving about that ‘gay pirate show’, well things… changed.

I will forever be grateful for those i follow that they kept screaming about it otherwise i’d never checked it out. But I was fandomless, there wasn’t anything I was currently obsessing over, and I needed something to distract me from that massive loss.

And by the Gods, that they did. That perfect little show, full of queer love and wonderful friendships, of beautiful sentiments and funny quips was JUST what I needed. It filled the empty space in my heart and helped me through the toughest times.

I have lost count of how many times I’ve watched it by now (and will again once the UK will finally get it officially just to experience the SQUEE that will happen when it airs!).

I love every damn thing about that show: its amazing creator, that insanely talented cast and the wonderful crew making sure every single one can shine and sparkle as they deserve!!!

Nothing was ever the same after April 3rd, the day I left hanging with the most gruesome cliffhanger in a while and no renewal in sight!!!

Once again I am soo soo glad for the friends that fall in love with the same things - but then again, this damn show is just soo fucking perfect and everyone else really need to get their shit together to even get close to the level of perfection that show has!!!

The show and its cast has occupied my mind ever since (and will continue to do so once season 2 comes out so expect more screaming about it in next year’s review).

But there have been more lovely and wonderful things - it’s almost as if this year wanted to make up for the pain.

I’ve been to London again!! TWICE!! Six glorious days in the summer, and four in autumn. Summer was on my own, and boy did I enjoy that. Having time for myself, doing the things I wanted to do, being on my own with my thoughts - there’s nothing better to recharge the batteries.

But I wasn’t lonely: finally met some old friends again and got to spend some quality time with them; I saw one of my fav musician again, after almost a decade of not being able to do so. London in summer is gorgeous, London during Pride month is even better! I saw an amazing queer Shakespeare which I wished I could’ve seen twice; Come From Away will ALWAYS make my heart soar and I’ve spent hours in a beautifully immersive Van Gogh exhibition.

When I came back, I even got to spent more amazing time with my dear C, went to see Queen - even though the one souvenir i didn’t ask for put me in quarantine for 10 days! (Still so thankful for 3 vaccinations and a very mild case!)

There was a brief visit at B’s to see her boys and spent some time with her as well - it’s been too damn long since I’ve seen her (even though I LOVE her video chats when she can squeeze them in in between her kids!)

Another London trip, seeing David Tennant (hating the play - a very first!), LOVING Letter Live at the RAH (beautiful beautiful place; def going to go back!); getting tipsy in the skies and walking all the steps!!!

And just when I thought the year couldn’t get any better, there’s the chance to see the one and only Taika Waititi live and in colour! (Massive shoutout to the like minded and equally obsessed people that helped me secure a ticket for the show!)

GAH!! That’s still a thing I never thought to happen! And yet it did. And once again, a new fandom always comes with the most lovely people - thank you, Twitter (even though you’re currently a terrible hell hole!) for connecting fandoms across borders!!!

WHAT A NIGHT that was!!! Even though he was tiny and far away on that stage, that night will forever be seared into my memories! (hell, even just typing it out makes me grin like a loon!)

There was one small hiccup as mom had to go to hospital for an astonishing four weeks, but she’s back home again and feeling more or less okay, so I’ll take that!!! (Plus, she’s gotten through her 1st Covid infection rather nicely, thanks to 4 vaccinations and despite everything else a rather healthy constitution it seems!)

And now it’s New Year’s Eve - another one for the books.

Closing out 2022 on a more optimistic note though.

Pandemic slowly but surely turning into an endemic which means less restrictions and more travel for me. Maybe even working without face masks in the spring.

It’s getting there. And I'm hopeful, and looking forward to all the things 2023 has to offer.

For seeing old and new friends again.

For seeing my beloved London again.

For making plans and doing things and enjoying life to the fucking fullest because it is too damn short to not do all the things you want to do!!!

BUT once again, I will not make too many plans, these days being spontaneous is the better way to do things without being too disappointed.

So, for the new year: hug your loved ones; tell them you love them; look after them; make friends; let go of the things that are not good for you!

ENJOY life as much as you can. Be it in big things or the small ones - as long as it brings you joy and makes you smile, it’s a GOOD thing!!!

Here’s to a glorious 2023 - have the most wonderful year, my darlings!!!

#personal #annual review #happy new year #tw: loss of a family member #(just in case)#these are basically just for me but if anyone else reads them #consider yourself warned #2022 #new year's note

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lostparadise-found · 2 years

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Shout out to @cryptidowl for spurring me on with this over discord last night as well as @asmallspark for giving me the idea while I had brain buzz in the first place.

Alright, so... it’s important to note that following season 1′s exchange program, Evie moves in with Solomon because her aunt is a c*nt. So they move in together and things get pretty good. Evie’s pretty happy. She’s away from her abusive aunt and is getting her life in the human world slowly on track. The neighbors are pretty nice, too. All except one.

Her name is Karen and she’s the only one in the neighborhood who thinks that there’s something wrong with the two of them. Things were strange when Solomon moved into the neighborhood, but things have only gotten stranger with Evie now a part of the household. And she hates it.

Evie and Solomon tolerate it for the most part, this woman’s antics and the like. Because sometimes you just have to do that with karens while you insult and bewitch her tulips behind her back because she’s a bitch. There’s one incident that fairly quickly turns the tide so that they can no longer ignore it.

For Halloween one year, the two turn part of the home into a haunted house for the holiday and use their magic and Evie’s artistic abilites where need be to make it as realistic as they possibly can. It is the most terrifying that the neighborhood has seen, and they are asked by several neighbors never to do it again.

The two realize that they might’ve gone a bit overboard with the haunted house and apologize for it. And this is where the first attack is made. Even so, Karen tries to turn them into the neighborhood’s HOA to get rid of them, claiming a lot of bullshit that I’d rather not list. However...

Solomon is the head of the HOA. Mostly because it allows him to get away with things, and he’s a bit lax about things with his neighbors, not being a complete prick about things and mostly trying to keep everything running smoothly without any outrageous rules, which is why they haven’t voted him out of the position yet.

And that is when the two decide that Karen has declared war on them, and make the choice to purposefully do suspicious stuff in front of the woman when she’s spying on them to mess with her. It’s like the Addams Family. Open about their weirdness, and yet the only one to bat an eye is Karen.

No one ever believes Karen about how strange the two are. Karen’s husband, Rob, has to apologize to Evie and Solomon for his wife’s behavior a lot. Bless his soul, he deserves better but ya know. Tax benefits.

But Karen is still a bitch and does a fucking lot of shit like karens normally do. After some point, Evie does look this woman in the eye after getting the mail one morning and is done with her after she makes a remark about Evie’s “tattoos” and how “unconventional and satanic” they are because she isn’t covering most of them up that morning. She’s not far off since they’re her pact marks, not tattoos and o since they’re her pact marks, not tattoos and one of them is from Satan himself. But the fact that she insulted what Evie sees as a connection and bond with her family pisses her off. Evie looks at her and says:

"Just because me and my partner have a far healthier relationship, doesn't mean that you can take out your anger out on us because your own marriage is crumbling."

And then proceeds to use magic to slam the door behind her when she goes back inside.

If I get any more ideas about this, I will likely share them. Might do the rest of the neighborhood, too. Who knows? I’m having fun with this.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me solomon #obey me mc #mc: evie mccloud #solevie #little sheep's musings #my mc facts #solevie shenanigans

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roses-stardustandhoney · 2 months

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I know you don't think of me and, obviously, I'm still thinking of you, the sky still exists. Missing everything I built up in my head. Wondering about the opportunities you gave me to act upon my feelings. Your birthday party and all the nights watching Killing Eve (especially that One) which I'm sure you don't remember and if you do, definitely don't dwell on. I did what you did. Spent a year in a completely different city/state for work with no support system. It was one of the hardest experiences of my life so far and I'm sorry for minimizing that.

I'm glad you're not as active here, initially I was checking every other day to see if you would post about me. Now it's every few months.

I don't have much to say. Other than, while you are irreplaceable, I've found others who understand me the way you did. Other women who will send me silly videos and watch gay shit with me. I'm still learning how to live without being obsessed with you. I'm still living and loving. I hope life is treating you better than it was.

It’s not fair to assume I never think of you. I still have the letter you sent me, I have no intention of ever getting rid of it. I know our relationship was complicated and low key fucked up but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still think of you or that I don’t miss you on occasion. I won’t lie, everything in my life, as always, I’m sure you’ll remember, is a complete and constant shit show, so you’re not always in the for front of my mind but I look you up on Facebook sometimes to see how you’re doing. I saw that you had moved away for work and I wondered how hard that must’ve been for you. I watched all of the last season of killing Eve as it aired to spite you, to prove I didn’t need you to watch it as it came out but it wasn’t the same without you. I care about you a lot and when we stopped talking I really didn’t have anyone, it was really hard, you were not someone I ever thought I’d loose. I know you started hanging out with that cunt who hates me and my partner after we stopped talking, that felt more like a betrayal than anything else I went through with all my so called friends of the time. I’ve thought about reaching out a few times but you know how I hate to be perceived as vulnerable or really anything other than a rage filled demon. I couldn’t have my regrets, on any level, getting back to the people who consider themselves victims, who sit on the sidelines waiting to hear anything about my undoing. So after my first obvious attempt at reaching out, even if it was malicious then, I decided it wasn’t a good idea to try again, based on your cleverly hurtful reuse of my response to your previous message like this. The only reason I even leave my anonymous messages on, on this hellsite, or check them at all is cause I hoped to hear from you again. You’re the only person who’s ever anonymously messaged me on here at all, darling. I’d say I’d add you back on Facebook but I literally can’t rn cause I can’t get into my Facebook at all for some reason that I have not been told and can’t figure out. I don’t have your number anymore either cause I’m the kind of person who tries to leave no temptation for myself after loosing someone I care about. At this point all I can hope is that you see this and message me back cause I’m also pretty sure you changed your url on here, so I have no way of finding you. I miss being able to send you stupid videos and talk about gay stuff too. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why you’re obsessed with me, I’m out right mean and selfish, and not really even remarkable in any way. I’m just a woman who’s trying her hardest to survive and that’s all I’ve really ever been. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m happy to hear from you. Maybe we can find each other again.

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purplesurveys · 2 years

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1551

Did 2015 just fly by to you? That year was absolute shit, and it felt like a century to pass by. I dealt with a bad breakup, the death of my grandfather, and brutal review classes for college entrance exams as well as the exams themselves.

Do you like platform shoes? Hate them. Would never catch me wearing a pair.

How much black is in your wardrobe? Probably a good 60%. It still takes up most of my closet though in recent years I’ve tried to add splashes of color here and there.

Are you supposed to be doing something else? I technically have work and it would be ideal to deal with them in advance. But I’m also trying to give quiet quitting a chance to give my mind and body a break, so they’ll have to wait. I can’t even stand to glance at my work laptop these days lol.

If you were with your favorite person right now, what would you be doing? Don’t have one.

Did you have a good holiday season? Last year’s was pretty fun! I do remember feeling a little bit restless and anxious because right before our agency went on Christmas break I was informed that I was gonna get promoted and was already given a heads-up about the workload to expect for the new stint. I felt unprepared so there was nagging anxiety at the back of my head, but for the most part I was thrilled to see family again and eat lots of food and get lots of BTS-themed presents lmao.

Anything special planned for today? I’m currently having Hong Kong food delivered (noodles and chicken feet!!!) and I haven’t had either in a while, so I’m so excited to wolf them down lol. Initially I told myself not to spend this weekend...but this week had been extremely difficult for me physically, mentally, emotionally. I barely got anything for myself and barely fed myself in the last six days so I thought this little treat shouldn’t completely be off the table.

Who do you really trust in your life? My best friends.

What do you think about "Justin Bieber"? I’m sure this question means well, but why is his name quoted?? Hahahaha. Anyway, I like him and he has a lot of good songs. I wouldn’t pay for a concert ticket on my own, but I certainly wouldn’t turn down a free one if offered.

Do you wish you could change the past? No, I prefer to focus on the present.

What is your hot drink of choice? No hot beverages for me.

Do you own a gun? Continued from last night because lmao did I pass out early. No, and you’ll never see me owning one.

Do you think people get the wrong idea of you? Sure, sometimes. I don’t always get to hear people’s impressions of me, but even though they get it right for the most part there will be some ideas that are just entirely wrong. I once had someone tell me they thought I had a super active life and that I enjoyed working out, which felt like a compliment but I also found it hilarious because that’s the last thing I’d enjoy doing haha.

Have you ever cracked your cell phone screen? This is the fate of all my phones, to tell you the truth. The past two or three phones I had died slow deaths because I gradually cracked their screens. I’ve been a bit more careful with my current phone but I also wouldn’t be surprised if I end up shattering this to death too.

Have your pants ever fallen down in public? Nah but my bras always do because I don’t have the torso to hold them up.

If you had to delete one year of your life, which year would it be? 2020. More than my breakup, Covid was a big waste of everyone’s time.

What is your favorite article of clothing you own? My high-waisted denim jeans.

How late do you usually stay up till? Around 2 AM. During the weekends I can stay up for later.

What is your favorite Christmas song? Eh, dunno if I have one. I have a soft spot for Jimin’s Christmas Love though, even though it’s not a traditional Christmas song.

What all have you had to eat today? I had a couple of hotdog sandwiches in the morning; we also visited family after church and my grandma made us lechon and cream of mushroom soup + my cousin got chocolate brownies; then I went to Starbucks right after where I tried this new drink they have called the brown sugar cocoa oat milk frappe (what a mouthful too, lol) and a slice of New York cheesecake with chocolate syrup.

If your entire life was a movie, what would it be called? I’m not creative enough to come up with a good title...

How do you feel about "smoking"? Don’t have a strong opinion on it. You do you.

Blue or green? Blue.

What's your current least favorite song? Pink Venom, Blackpink. I don’t even not like it because of the never-ending fandom wars; the song is just genuinely not my vibe.

Do you know how to play chess? Never learned.

What is something the world needs less and more of in your opinion? Less toxicity on social media, more letting people shamelessly enjoy their interests and not getting dragged for whatever they’re into.

Do you know someone who is just so breathtakingly attractive? I’m in the middle of a ridiculous Jeon Jungkook phase right now, so let’s go with him. Insane how that monster of a man is good at everything he does and everything he tries, while also looking as good as he does.

How hard is it for you to open up to others? Nah, I can be an open book.

What is something that has really impacted your life? BTS. They saved my life in the most literal sense. Back in April 2021 my clock was pretty much over and I was dead set on leaving, then for whatever reason they kinda just swooped in at the last possible moment with a video that came up on my FB and its algorithm, which completely turned my life around. The timing was crazy and I’ll always be grateful for them for helping me want to stick around longer.

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fandomgalore-blog · 3 years

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Just finished the final season of On My Block! I’m super sad that it ended, but I’m also glad they didn’t drag it out too long to the point that it would be ruined. Here are my thoughts:

- I love Jamal and abuela’s relationship so much. I don’t doubt he’ll name his future daughter after her if he has one tbh

- Monse had a fantastic character arc and development. I loved her the entire season

- I’m glad Cesar thanked Jamal cuz the dude deserves a million thanks for all the shit he saved the group from

- Loved that abuela left a map for them!!!

- I was actually relieved that the finale was 100% happiness because honestly they deserved it

- Chivo is one of the best side characters ever

- Never thought I’d see Latrelle again, especially another interaction with Ruby, but I’m glad since it was great

- Jamal is the best of the core four. Don’t at me

- I’ve always known Spooky was gonna die and I could tell he was going to when he was packing, but I still felt awful after watching him go out like that

- The parents on this show are so fucking funny

- I loved the realistic ending of neither of the main couples ending up together, but it’s obvious they’ll find their way back some way

- Spooky’s ash spreading was so perfect and then them getting so ridiculously intoxicated right after was even better

- Monse and Jasmine’s relationship was top tier this season

- Jasmine and Jamal were also a fantastic duo

- I sometimes wonder how different the show would be with Olivia, however I don’t miss her

- Jamal having beef with Monse was so funny despite it being petty asf

- Also, Jamal’s little crush on Monse was a great comical twist

- I’m glad Jasmine was finding herself, and I hate that she couldn’t go to Berkeley, but at least she’s happy

- I loved the flashbacks, but I wish they showed some of Jamal being cast aside by Ruby and Jasmine, and how Ruby drifted from Monse

- I loved that Monse and Vero ended up squashing their beef in the end

- Lil Ricky reveal was satisfying to me for some reason despite him not being what I thought he’d be

- I’m glad Monse and her family found peace within her mom’s book for her

- I’m glad the Santos let Cesar leave without a fight

- The first Ruby and Jasmine sex scene where Ruby’s parents were just outside the doors was funny as hell

- The kids explaining all four seasons to their parents was also comedy gold

- Where the fuck is the roller world money????

- Overall, this was a great final season despite its loose ends, and I will miss this show a lot. Hopefully Netflix will make similar ones in the future without canceling it hella early or some shit like that

That’s it for now, but I no doubt will add or subtract from this list in the future. Let me know if you agree or disagree!

#cesar diaz #on my block #omb #spooky diaz #spooky #on my block season 4 #on my block spoilers #monse finnie #jamal turner #latrelle on my block #jasmine flores #vero on my block #lil spooky #chivo

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falcor-thee-luck-dragon · 2 years

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Of Monsters And Men

(Season 2)

Chapter 9 - Blood And Flame

Summary: Reuniting with Yennefer after all this time apart draws you into another problem you hadn't been expecting, yet its something you'll be challenged with in ways you hadn't thought to deal with ever in your long life.

Warning: angst, blood, reader going ✨feral✨, fighting, more angst, slight fluff

Word count: 9737

Masterlist- Of Monsters And Men Masterlist here

Surprised would be a severe understatement in the verbiage of your current circumstances these days. You've been in this sacred, very kind and very calming temple for not even a solid day yet and you've already managed to meet Yennefer who you weren't completely certain was even still alive.

No matter if Istredd told you of it and what happened in Aretuza with her disagreements with the Brotherhood and all that other chaotic shit she was apart of. You didn't want to give in to the hope that lingered deep within your heart that she was alive. But that was all confirmed when she showed up at random in the Temple of Melitele unannounced.

Which makes sense since she now apparently doesn't have her chaos anymore, now that was a true surprise in all honesty. Yennefer with lack of magic for the first time since she was a young farmers daughter trying to feed pigs, and though she smiles and makes good conversation so far, you know this has to be killing her inside. But you're not going to dwell on the matter, it's a waste of thought.

Instead have you chosen to leave your seating to wander the halls with her by your side, just enjoying having your old friend with you once again. You pass by a deep blue glass window, running your fingertips on the candle flames that burn from their wax castles on a metal tray near you. Just like so many others all over this giant temple, another of the hundred some candles giving light to this place when the sun goes down.

Yennefer looks to you questioningly, "So he started to talk about vampires and your family linage? Just came up to you and said all that?"

"Yeah, he did. It was weird but kind of nice to talk about my people with someone who genuinely has an unambiguous desire to learn about them. And not for the reason of hate or wanting their death."

"Hmm. He sounds pleasant enough."

"Oh he was, then he wanted me to do something."

She raises a brow, "Something?"

You let out a small laugh, "Nothing perverse thankfully. I just lifted him up, he was very excited about it."

"Oh was he now?" Chuckles Yennefer as you both pass by a plant, "I bet he's dreaming about you right now, dreaming steamy, detailed dreams. Drooling on his pillow too."

"Fuck off.." You laugh while gifting her a little nudge, "Hmm..he might be. I just hope he never goes seeking them, or if he does he's well prepared to protect himself. I'd hate to see him killed, he was kind.....which could be a bad thing in the long run for him."

Yennefer playfully nudges your arm this time, "Hmm, Geralt better count his days then, seems our vampire lover has is eyes set for my sister here. Though I doubt you'd object to some dirty activities with two handsome handsy men." She teases.

You gasp, "Excuse me my dear, but those days have long been apart of my past."

She snickers, "You ever ask Geralt? I bet he'd comply, just for one night, share you with another. Maybe even watch."

"Alright." You warn with a halfheartedly stern voice before breaking out into a smile as you push your hair back, "Fuck you're giving me dirty thoughts, I'm turning unpure in this here temple you damn heathen."

"Well you better pray for forgiveness then you sinner, sleeping with a man, unmarried in this temple and their own bed you've been gifted to have. Tisk, tisk, Y/N."

You roll your eyes at her, "I don't wanna hear it from the woman who had sex in front of more then a thousand elf skulls, multiple times. All their ancient bones and everything, right in front of those sunken in eye sockets staring at your naked arse. Disgusting, gross, disturbing even....you shameful whore."

She gasps in mock insult, "You depraved slut."

You laugh at her open mouthed face showing a mix of surprise and amusement, she then shakes her head at you while passing some more trays holding many candles. Your chuckles slowly die down after a short while as your gaze turns to linger on the burning candles dancing their flames in the darkened room.

How peaceful this growing night has become from the heaviness of the day, getting here in one piece, losing Roach to that damn flying monster. Then reuniting with Yennefer once again, things have gone slow yet incredibly fast in the past couple days but you're grateful for the quiet now. For the contempt of the sleeping temple and the scented air of spices and candles burning from their wicks, dripping hot wax down the sides and onto the metal plates holding them up.

"Did you think of me after Aedirn?" She suddenly asks, voice more softer and sincere now as you two turn a corner to walk slowly down. Past more pillars and candles alike, some plants in brass pots even while you take a moment to answer.

"From time to time." You admit as she looks over at you.

Yennefer grins softly at your truthful words, "I thought about you quite a bit too."

"That I was frightening children in my down time?"

She laughs, "No, that they were beating you with sticks." The two of you share a small chuckle at her rightfully amusing comment as you keep wandering down the opened path.

Your smiles return to neutral upon your lips as you look to the ground before setting your crimson irises to her, almost looking like that of a crestfallen young girl, "After you left Aretuza for Aedirn, things didn't feel the same like they once did, more quieter, less bright. And visiting you in Aedirn, well....I couldn't exactly linger around now could I?" You pause a moment to take a breath, "Then when we met in Rinde, gods so much time had passed I almost didn't recognize you at first..not until I smelt the air."

You laugh a little, continuing, "Well between the smells of that magical orgy and all the wine in that house. But I knew it was you."

She lets out a breathy laugh, "As soon as I heard your voice behind Geralt, I knew it was undoubtedly you."

"Yeah, and what a time that was huh?"

"It was something. Quite the family reunion."

You snicker quietly before your amusement disperses and with that so does your smile, "Yeah.." You whisper, "...Sorry for never sticking around for too long when I did come to visit in Aedirn. I know you felt more alone at times then you'd have liked, probably could have used me here and there too huh?"

She shakes her head, "Don't feel sorry, Y/N. You'd never have been happy sticking around in Aedirn, or in any royal court to begin with, and then you'd never have met Geralt."

"That's....probably true."

"See." She nudges your shoulder, "Things happen because they're supposed to sometimes."

"Were you supposed to lose your chaos?" You ask softly.

She opens her mouth to speak but hesitates a moment before swallowing, "I don't know. And I don't know how to get it back, I don't even know if it's possible to do so." She admits dismally, violet irises diverting from yours when you lock eyes for a split second though this doesn't feel awkward in the slightest. Although it's almost like she wants to say something else but refrains, you can't smell anything false from her yet, though her heartbeat picks up ever so slightly.

You push the weird feeling away to give her a small smile, "Well, if unicorns can exist. And I can exist, I believe there must be a way to fix the missing part of you. And if not, know I am here for you always." She swallows quickly before blinking and turning her less dreary face to you.

"Thank you, Y/N." Yennefer then gives you a reassuring smile in return before raising a questioning brow, "What changed your mind about Geralt claiming the girl? You seemed so certain it was a mistake back then."

You let out a gentle sigh, "Many things changed my mind along the way. You among them. I thought if you could be a mother, want to be a mother so unselfishly and with pure intent, maybe so could I? Well, try at least."

She nods at this, satisfied with your answer before crossing her arms over her chest as you both keep walking, "I ran into Jaskier." You stop and turn to listen, deeply intrigued to hear about your missing bard, knowing you want more does she continue, "In Oxenfurt. He was in some trouble."

"What kind of trouble?" You ask urgently, face dead series. What? You miss him.

"This fire fucker was after him. A mage. I don't know who he was." She shakes her head, "He was looking for information. About you and Geralt." You and Geralt? Interesting.

Your expression hardens as you think this over, brows furrowing in thought at this new highly valuable information, "He's looking for Ciri." The only logical and most probable answer of course, as you haven't pissed off any mage with a preference for fire magic recently.

"Why? What is she to him?" Yennefer takes a step closer, more curious then ever, expression a bit more urgent then you'd be comfortable to admit.

"Yen." You look at her intensely, scarlet irises flickering from her signature necklace to her face, "Your heart has been beating fast this whole time. You're nervous."

"So?" She whispers quietly, really hating how damn perceptive you are.

You give her a heartfelt look like that of a mother to her troublesome child, "Why are you here? Truly?"

She blinks, heartbeat still thudding swiftly away from within her chest, "I have some wounds that refuse to heal."

You think of a couple reasons but decide to press her for one, "You still want to have a child?"

She looks down, almost appearing to avoid your gaze, "No, it's-it's different this time."

"Well, let's hope it's different for the both of us." She looks up into your kindly scarlet irises as you give her a small smile, "I need to find Ciri." You nod respectfully before turning to the left and walking down the line of pillars and candles as she follows you at your side.

You pass a couple closed doors and a few more glass windows, just enjoying the nice little walk around the huge place before the scent of a young boys blood wafts into your sensitive nostrils, causing your pupils to constrict into two small black dots. The red in your eyes practically glowing as you stop dead in your tracks, Yennefer halting her movements as well as she looks at you strangely.

She knows that look.

"What is it?" Mutters Yennefer as she studies over your deadly concentrated face staring at a doorway, "Where's the blood?"

"Blood." You whisper faintly, hunger growing for a taste of the sweet flavor you've been chaste from for so long. Not since Sodden have you let yourself feed on the delicious natural elixir of the human vessel, what courses through thin veins under weak flesh. What is now, and shall always remain, your most mortal weakness no matter how many times you've tried to feel otherwise at the sight or smell. You cannot help the vampire in you, sometimes it's stronger then your human side in the most barbaric of ways.

You sniff, smelling the boys blood nearby down the pathway, his age, race, and fear that infuses itself into his crimson contents that lay out in the open for you to....no....Focus. He is the boy who took Ciri to the library, he is kind, he is innocent. Blinking hard do you walk quickly down the opened area between the pillars before halting once more, Yennefer doing the same as she sets her violet irises to you. Worry bubbling up inside her chest.

"Men." You tilt your head to the side, listening like a fox in a field for the hidden mice that move in the grass unseen. "Five of them."

You take off in an instant, running swiftly through the temple now, dodging past pillars and trays of candles alike as you turn a corner to be greeted by a group of men and Ciri backed against a wall with a curved wall of flames between her and the men. The long haired one in front with the burnt face that's scarring on the left throws his arms out like he means to harm her.

You're at her side in a second before he can do anything, he stops, causing the flames to simmer and die out at the misplaced confusion, expression showing clear befuddlement just as Yennefer runs into the room. He raises an intrigued brow at her, "Well, if I'd known to follow you to Oxenfurt, it would have saved me a spy mission to Kaer Morhen." Speaks the man slyly.

His men grip their weapons tighter as she walks to stand by your side, "Nice scar, shithead."

"Fire fucker?" You mutter in question at Yennefer. He sure smells like smoke and ash.

"Unfortunately, yes."

Your scarlet eyes study over the men, you let out a breath knowing how this whole interaction is about to lead, "Take Ciri. Bring her to Geralt, I'll find you afterwards."

Yennefer gives you a worrisome glance before turning and walking behind you to take Ciri by the arm, "Come on." She mutters as they quickly walk away as the men spread out a little, readying to gift some viable damage, you can hear a door close and lock in the foreground. They're safe for now and out of harms way, however you've found yourself in quite the predicament.

You steady your stance, eyes shifting from right to left as two men walk to your left side and two more walk to your right as the fire mage lingers back in the shadows. All other eyes sizing you up like a piece of meat ready for the taking, you glare at the lot of them before settling your crimson gaze to the fire mage, "You've brought them to their death." You seethe, staring daggers at his shadowed face.

The man smirks with a wicked grin upon his slender face, "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"I am."

A man on your right swings his weapon just as another on your left moves forward with dagger in hand, you swiftly dodge out of the path of the man's sword. He misses. You're quick to turn around and kick him into a table as the other three descend, the man with a dagger gets closest first. He grunts, arm swinging as he moves with intent to slash your throat.

He's not fast enough as you duck under his arm, elbowing him in the side of the head which causes him to immediately grow unconscious. Slumping to the floor like a sack of potatoes, dagger sliding out of his grasp and across the stone flooring, forgotten. The next man lands a punch to your shoulder with a quick hit of his clenched fist.

You make a face at the abrupt unexpected contact as he throws out another fist, you turn your body to the side when he punches, missing you by mere inches. His face gets close to yours from the forwardly propelled movement of his body, and the last thing he sees before getting thrown across the room is your red eyes flashing with anger like two rubies in the sunlight.

He yelps, landing in a mess of arms and legs across the stone, crashing into a brass pot that falls by his head. The next man thrusts his sword straight at your back, you can't see him do this but you can hear the sound of his limbs moving and his hot breath behind you. You step to the side just as the shimmering steel flies past your body, him with it, you quickly snatch him by his throat.

Fingers dig into his scruffy neck as he gasps, dropping his sword which makes a clang sound upon the ground. His hands immediately reach for his neck as you slowly suffocate him in your unnaturally strong grasp, something he clearly wasn't expecting. His eyes go bloodshot and glassy as he wheezes, veins popping underneath his skin as you can hear his heartbeat pound from within his chest.

His fingers claw at your arm as he struggles, you glare darkly, lifting him up higher so that he cannot touch the ground anymore. His legs kick from underneath him as he dangles, the light in his blue eyes fading with the harder you squeeze his throat. You catch movement to your left, the man you kicked into a table has woken up and is rightfully pissed about it. Fuck.

You tilt your head up at the man struggling to breath, "You really chose the wrong profession." His eyes widen as you add more pressure to your already heavy grip until you let your vampiric strength do the rest. His vertebrae cracks, tracheae and esophagus ripping and breaking from within as you fully crush his throat.

The man convulses a second as his spinal cord severs, your hand can't seem to relent until your iron grip holds so tight that blood begins to seep from out of his mouth and nostrils. When a couple red droplets land upon your skin does the pupils of your eyes constrict yet again, the delicious scent of fresh blood hitting your senses like a burst of saccharine perfume on the air.

You become like a woman thirsting in the desert after days in the hot beating sun all at once. Given a fresh icy cold glass of crystal clear water to drink, however if you give in to this heavenly temptation will someone die. And if you abstain from the drink of life, will you grow ever more wrathful and frustrated like a horny bull locked in a pen. You cannot stop this feeling as it grows.

Stupid men and their blood. Why are they even here?

You drop him instantly. He lands with a palpable thud sounding just like a wet towel smacked to the hard floor. You breath heavily just standing there like a statue, wide eyes staring at the warm blood droplets on your hand, you can't help yourself but bring the back of your hand to your lips. Licking off the delectable liquid like it's simple juice from a bleeding pomegranate in summer.

Delicious.

The man you kicked stops dead in his tracks as he watches you do this, you turn your head to look at him through narrowed eyes. Swallowing hard, you tilt your head at him, "Run." You whisper, forcing every fiber of your being to restrain yourself and stay where you are.

His confidence and valor returns to him as he scoffs, "I got payed for this, bitch."

"You didn't get paid enough."

He smirks before swinging his sword and taking a step forward, you take a step back when he swings, whole body lunging at you and right into your tight grasp that easily snatches his throat. His sword falls to the ground as you push him to the floor before releasing his neck to then sink your fangs straight into his vulnerable flesh. Your hands pin him down as he kicks and struggles underneath your strength that he cannot outmatch.

He cries out in agony as you feed, sucking out the life from his body with ease. Face growing paler by the second until something hard hits you over the back of your head, causing you to release the dying man as you tumble to the floor. Blood spurts across the stone from his ripped open jugular, leading a trail to you who's now gone, nowhere to be seen. All that's left is a puddle of blood as the hired mercenary blinks, perplexed, he could have swore you were just there. He could have been positive he just thwacked you off of his cousin with a broken piece of table.

You were just there.

The man steadies his breaths as he turns right and left and back again, making a full circle around himself but you're no where to be seen. He looks down, his cousin wheezes out his last breaths from the floor as a dark pool of blood forms around his neck. His friend lays nearby, throat bruised, swollen, and a little fucked up as he lays like a beaten dog on the floor. Eyes popped out of his sockets with lines of blood running out of his nose and the corners of his mouth.

He swallows thickly, suddenly realizing all that gold Rience paid him wasn't worth it at all. But maybe if he can kill you, whatever you are, then he'll get his friends coin and be a richer man then he came. However these thoughts diminish when a wet drop of something lands upon his cheek, then another, his brows furrow as he touches the liquid.

When he pulls his hand back can he faintly make out in the dim lighting a dark wetness coating his fingertips. Another droplet of this dark matter plops on the palm of his hand, staring at this strangeness with a puzzled expression does he slowly lift up his head to locate the source of the blood. He gasps in shock at the sight of you hanging upside down from the curved ceiling, blood all over your lips, chin, and cheeks. With eyes of glowing rubies, you hiss, baring your fangs like a nightmare come to life.

He jumps back in fright as you land upright directly in front of him like a coy vixen of death, close enough to touch now, too close for his comfort. He white knuckles the sword at his side, "Demon." Breaths out the man, terrified beyond belief as he whispers in a shaky voice, "Go to hell."

Your lips curl into a sly grin, "You first."

His arm moves up, sword heading for its mark when your lightening reflexes land a tight grasp on his forearm that halts all movement from the extremity. He freezes, breath caught in his throat as the two of you have an intense stare down while his heartbeat thunders within his chest from adrenaline and the sight of you before him.

Your grip tightens as you look into his soul, "Seems this world never fails to make a monster out of me yet. And you men never know when to stop." Your free hand reaches forward and back again in one proficient motion, the man's eyes widen as he begins to gag and choke on his own blood as it spurts out of a missing chunk of his throat.

You release his arm as he tries to cover the bleeding mess while falling to his knees as you take a step backwards. He falls forward, one hand pressing to the floor as the other attempts to stop the gushing mortal wound, he continues to gag and suffocate. A puddle forms and at last does he slump onto his side, letting it happen when a piece of his own trachea lands right in front of his face. Then he's gone, eyes staring vacantly at nothing but the wall.

You take a step back, shaking your head as you blink hard a couple times, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" You shout, holding your blood coated hands up to see the damage you've done. Your eyes trail from your hands to the floor where his other two friends lay now, both clearly deceased, better place then this.

Suddenly you hear the sounds of the last mercenary to your right, he's by the pillar, you watch as he slowly stands before turning around and freezing. He glances from his unmoving and bloody companions to your blood coated cheeks and lips. He appears rather disturbed by this, disgusted even, you've seen these reactions all before.

Yet he takes a step forward in spite of his fear, picking up a fallen sword on the way before standing ready to kill. You smell something burning and turn your head to witness as the fire mage reaches the door both Yennefer and Ciri went into. He's trying to fucking burn it down! You turn to the man with the sword and scowl, "I don't have time for this." He will die if he means to even dare lay a single finger upon Ciri, or help aid in her pain.

He yells out before charging you anyways, sword swinging past your face as you step out of the way faster then he'd ever been anticipating. You practically moved in a blur; he whips around and swings again to only miss, sword kissing the open air as you casually walk over to pick up a fallen dagger. It's old and worn down yet a decent weapon that will do just as you need it to.

With dagger in your right hand do you square up with the man, standing a short distance away as he eyes you dangerously, rage flashing over his heated gaze. He growls before taking a single step forward with clear intention of rushing you, however, a dagger plant's itself right in the center of his forehead. Thus causing him to stop immediately in place as his eyes roll into the back of his head, a single trickle of blood seeping out of the bottom of the impaled dagger.

He goes limp, falling to his knees before slumping over onto the stone flooring right next to the man with a crushed windpipe, among other things. You take a breath before returning your undivided attention to the fire mage currently releasing his flames to the poor wooden door. And who's most certainly scaring the shit out of Ciri, and fucking Yennefer can't do a thing about it.

Although his aggressive assault of flames are halted when you've practically teleported to his side, snatching him by his hair and yanking back like you're some dirty fighter in a tavern brawl. The scar faced man yelps in surprise at the abrupt intrusion and the pain of your swift attack. He's on the ground before he can even blink with you kneeling above him, one hand around his neck and the other grasping his wrist.

He swallows thickly at the uncomfortable sensation of your hand pressing into his windpipe, still wet with the blood of his hired mercenaries. Yet the man below you smiles wickedly anyhow, "Aren't you a deadly thing?" He rasps as your grip tightens around his vulnerable throat, "Ah, ah, ah....I've got you too."

Your chest warms when he presses his free fingers to it, eliciting just enough heat to make it sting, and to force to you to lessen your grip on his neck. You grimace, face growing threateningly closer, "Fuck. You."

He raises his brows, enjoying this even with your grasp speaking death to him, his eyes never leave yours, "Beautiful as you are dangerous, no matter the mess upon your cheeks." He shamelessly flirts, keeping his glowing hot fingers to you still, "I never realized how much of a problem you'd become, regretfully I should have known better. But of course the heir to the Blood Throne could rip apart a couple mercenaries with ease."

"And what now dumbfuck?"

"Maybe we kill each other. Maybe we run away together?"

You scowl furiously, "Maybe I rip out your jugular."

"Not while my hand is here." You feel the heat grow as he smirks up at you with that coy fucked up face of his. He could be rather handsome if not for the gnarly burn scars and his unwashed hair.....maybe better personality, and life choices.

Your hard expression slowly turns into a closed lipped grin before breaking into a fangy smile that puts him on edge. Then in an instant have you released both grips from his neck and wrist to dodge to the side when he emits a ball of flame from his hand and into the door. He swiftly turns his sights to you only to be greeted with a clawed slash to the other side of his face, opposite to the burn scar. Another mark to show his battles with the wrong people.

The force of your violent attack sends him tumbling down the pathway past some pillars. When he stops sliding does he quickly get to his knees, hand holding over his bleeding face where three thin long lines stretch from his right ear, across his cheek, and over his lips to the end of his jaw and chin. A wound that will most certainly scar when it heals, a personal brand you've just given him.

He glares at you with hatred in his eyes as you take a threatening step forward to finish the job when suddenly he stands just as a distorted cloud of black smoke consumes him and he's gone. Portaling elsewhere like a goddamn coward. You hear footsteps and feel enchantment behind you as you turn around to watch as Ciri walks through a portal of distorted silvery colors.

"Ciri." You call after her though she's already through.

Your brows furrow as you lock onto the back of Yennefer who turns to see you looking at her through a spot in the melted door. And in this moment you know she means to follow by the look upon her face. Heart growing with confusion do you give her a puzzled look, "Yen. Stop." You affirm softly, unsure what's even happening right now or why they'd leave so suddenly with the fighting done.

She gives you an abiding last glance that marks regret and discouragement as she hesitates a moment, "I wish I could." Says Yennefer apologetically before breaking focus with you to turn around and walk through the portal without another word. Your lips part in dismay as the portal disappears into nothingness, leaving you alone in a room full of dead men and a singed door.

You take a step back, still breathing heavily, mind drawing a solid blank slate as you try and think of a reason for her to have just done this. She has never done anything so outwardly traitorous before, she never has ever once completed something so mysteriously selfish, never with something you have spoken of to care so much about.

You almost can't even believe it to be truth, she's gone....and Ciri is with her. The child you have been sworn by destiny itself to protect, the girl that you have grown to cherish and love more then you ever thought you could. A brewing anger flickers like a sparked match deep within your chest the longer you stand in the quiet gloom of the large temple. Broken and splattered in the blood of dead men with dark hearts.

You swallow thickly when the sounds of footsteps running down the hallway makes it to your ears. Your eyes shift up to land upon the burned hole in the door when the footsteps grow closer now until Geralt steps a few feet off to your right. He says not a word for a couple of seconds before resting his perplexed gaze upon you, "Y/N what happened?" He asks, clear confusion in his voice.

Your fists clench as your head bows in shame for the loss of Ciri and the conflicted feelings now towards Yennefer whom you thought you could trust. Feeling betrayed and defeated do you sigh, "I lost her Geralt, I fucking lost her." You whisper, deeply ashamed and brimming with fury that you can just barely speak of it. You can't understand, it doesn't make sense.

"Lost who?" He takes a step closer, "Y/N. Look at me. Tell me what happened?"

You lift your head to stare daggers at the wall from where they just left, "Yennefer told me she was hunted by a fire mage looking for us. Apparently he found what he was searching for, brought a couple friends with him too. Clearly."

"Yennefer was here?" Geralt glances from the singed door to you staring furiously at it, "Y/N. What happened? My love, help me understand."

You turn to look at him, face undoubtedly a blood smeared mess, "I killed his men. I couldn't get to him fast enough, he drew a portal to elsewhere." You huff in frustration, "Then fucking Yennefer and Ciri just walk through a goddamn portal themselves right in front of my eyes."

"They what?" He says in disbelief.

You purse your lips together in discontent, "You heard what I said." He gives you a look as you walk over to him, "We have a new problem now and unfortunately I trusted my heart more then my head, so my assumptions were right after all. And like an idiot did I ignore them."

"What assumptions?" He shakes his head, "Y/N what the fuck just happened? You said Yennefer was here, and a fire mage and..."

"Yes, and she showed up and I didn't know what for, she told me it was to heal and I didn't believe her but didn't press the matter, then she tells me of the fire mage who was after her. Asking about us." You throw a hand to the door, "The fucking psychopath who did that. But he was actually after Ciri."

You take a breath, blinking hard as you process your thoughts, "I think...I know, Yennefer needs Ciri for something too. I just don't know what or why? I didn't think she would betray me like this, I don't understand why she would do this disappearing act to begin with but I have a strong suspicion as to why."

"Why?" Asks Geralt, "What do you think would make her leave like this?"

"She lost her chaos." Geralt's hardened expression turns to a surprised understanding as you continue, "I feel that may be why she took Ciri with her. I just....I can't figure out why or how Ciri would be involved in any of her shit."

He sighs, expression thoughtful as he ponders his mind a moment, "Do you know where she would have gone?"

"No idea."

You then get a thought which causes you to part from Geralt, walking around him and over to the man with the missing jugular to search his corpse does Geralt watch you do this. Kneeling down do you look around the dead mans attire for something significant to give you an understanding into who and where he came from. Anything valuable really.

You lift up his hand just as Nenneke cautiously steps into the fucked up space that's going to need a deep cleaning, maybe even a prayer said, probably way more then that. She doesn't say a word due to her shock and processing mind but watch as you stick your hand inside the dead man's pocket before pulling out a coin and inspecting it carefully.

"Redanian crowns." You whisper in thought as Geralt steps closer to you, observing the coin as well. In Redania, but why there?

Nenneke looks from you to the bodies and the broken table, a more distraught expression crossing her features the longer she stares, "Melitele, I have failed you." She speaks solemnly and with a great bout of shame as she speaks her apologies to her goddess.

You look at her from over your shoulder, "Forgive me. These men were after Ciri." You let out a sigh before standing up and turning to fully focus upon her, "Our weapons?" Nenneke does not move, she does not change her stoic face as she stares at you, taking in your disheveled sight. So much blood.

With anger catching the wick within your heart do you clench your fists, taking a threatening step forward just as Geralt catches you by the wrist. Your scarlet irises are on him in a second though he is unafraid of your motherly wrath that glows bright in the shadowed dull blue light coming in from the stained glass windows.

Your expression softens as he gives you a nod before letting go and walking past you to meet eyes with Nenneke, "We need to find her." He says as she clasps her hands together, tilting her head up to look at him better.

"You need to let me help your dearly beloved over there." She affirms with a gentle voice brimming with deep concern that causes Geralt's brows to furrow, she touches his hands, "Y/N is in pain, let me help her first."

Geralt purses his lips together, "She's not safe to be around." He says quietly.

Nenneke gifts him a warm-hearted grin, "Has that ever stopped me before?" Geralt's head bows, golden eyes flickering from her dark irises to the floor splattered with blood. She lets go of his hands to step aside and slowly walk herself closer to you.

You couldn't even focus enough to pick up on whatever whispered secrets they were just discussing, you feel so full of frustration and hatred and hunger and sadness. Your fists clench so tight they could draw blood, breaths flowing in and out of you heavily from the fight and the rise in your nerves. You want to tear the temple apart and scream until there is nothing left of your throat.

You blink and Nenneke is a couple feet away, aurora gentle and calm as a spring morning while she sets her wise gaze to you and all your mess of blood and body that you are. A right feral thing to gaze upon. She takes a step closer anyways, "Y/N. Breath my child, focus on my voice and know peace."

Your jaw clenches as she takes another step closer, knuckles whitening, "I cannot feel peace. You cannot give it to me."

"Why does your lips speak this to me my dear princess?"

"Because I have failed and been deceived by my sister....at least I thought she was." You whisper, irritation clear in your voice, "I was blinded by my heart."

Nenneke stands inches from you now, expression kindly and soft, "Do you believe it is with malice?"

You swallow thickly, crimson eyes darting from hers to the wall and back to her again, "No."

She grins serenely, "Then bring yourself down from this rage inside, do not let it fuel you and let the flame of hate corrupt your heart." She reaches up to push a fallen piece of hair out of your eyes, "My dear Y/N, return to us from the shadows, set aside your darkness that killed these men so I may bring you into the light. Be human again, be part of our world that loves you so."

You take in a shaky breath, closing your eyes tightly as she sets her hands upon your shoulders, whispering to you, "Feel your breath flowing in and out of you now, remember your time at peace, remember the sunlight on your skin, the taste of bread in your mouth. Laughter and joy, remember you are loved and will always be loved. Come back to us from your pain, come back to us from your hate. Push away the monster inside you now, tame her bitterness and maleficence, you are Y/N."

Taking another shaky breath does your fists slowly unclench as you begin to relax, causing the Redanian crown to fall from your weakened grasp and cling when it hits the floor. Your face contorts like you mean to cry, fighting within yourself to keep in control and collect your bearings instead of screaming out or letting the tears fall. Your face slowly relaxes once again into a more neutral expression as you find your calmed breaths.

Opening your eyes of scarlet do they face Nenneke's dark ones, she watches as the constricted pupils of your eyes instantaneously dilate into what is conventionally normal for you. Eyes that are not ready to cause violence or let blood splatter against her temple walls, she knows inside you are now letting your more human side shine. And she is pleased with your resilience and heart.

Her smile grows as you breath, heartbeat calming the longer she holds your gaze, "Good, good, be at peace with yourself my dear. Easy now, let the hatred out with the breath, very good Y/N." She whispers proudly, giving your shoulders a delicate squeeze before pulling away and taking a step back as you fully calm.

Geralt watches from the center of the room with great surprise and relief, until now he's the only person alive who's ever been able to calm you down completely after going into a rage with bloodlust. It's not often this happens to you, but when it does can the results be tragic or at the very least incredibly messy. Either way, he's grateful to have Nenneke here to keep your wits about you.

Her gentle eyes look up into yours, "How did it break?" She asks, referring to the magical ball with the small links of chain attached to it, the very thing Ciri was holding hours before.

You glance down at the cracked object on the floor, "She does that to things." You reply before stepping aside to walk over to Geralt.

Nenneke nods, turning around to face you two, "If what you say about that girls power is true." You stop and turn around to give her your attention, she continues with an almost eluded gaze that flickers with sympathy, "You can't help her."

You immediately turn your back to Nenneke, "I'll find my own weapon."

"What I mean is," You stop to listen as she looks at your back, "Ciri needs more than you can give her now." She locks eyes with Geralt, "More than the both of you."

"I swore to protect her." He says, frustration clear in his voice, "Nenneke, I will not sit back and wait for something worse then a rouge mage and his agenda to happen to her. Neither of us will."

She sighs, eyes darting from him to the back of you, "Do you truly believe Yennefer means to harm the girl?"

You look at her from over your shoulder, "I wish Yennefer knew of the balance you spoke of." You can't help but turn around to face her fully now, expression serious and embittered, "More than you know, I wish it. But despite my feelings that kept my hope and love for so long, I learned my lessons about Yennefer and wishes. I know all this now, clearer then before."

"Sometimes, we assume the worst because we fear to hope."

You scoff before turning to walk away once again, Geralt right with you yet Nenneke persists, "How...can I help you? How can I help you? The both of you?"

You stop as Geralt does first, himself turning to face Nenneke just as yours does the same. He gives you a mutual look before setting his gaze to Nenneke, "We need you to open a portal." ——

Stepping over a mud puddle does your boots press into dirt and flattened bits of fish skins thrown out of someones window just above you, how long ago you have not a clue, nor do you care. All you care about is keeping your hood down low enough so that the upper half of your face is shadowed by the hood of your cloak from anyone taking notice of your crimson irises. The last thing you need right now is to be stopped and questioned by the goddamn people of Oxenfurt or Redanian soldiers.

Both who are not so particularly fond of elves or anyone not human to begin with. But luckily you were able to get your clothing cleaned before setting out on this newest adventure, seems magic does have its perks after all.

A couple children run past you, causing your cloak to sway against your legs at how close they were to you. Their laughter breaks the bustling air of a hundred voices all flowing together at once, besides that and the sounds of livestock, doors opening and closing and everything else.

While passing by a window does your nostrils gather in the scent of blood once more; elf, male, bleeding out of a hidden wound to his right thigh. You cough, trying to thrust the scent out of your senses before quickly covering your nose and mouth with the palm of your hand. Geralt takes immediate notice of this and swiftly takes your arm, leading you past a couple merchants until he turns you both down an alley.

His strong grasp loosens before his hands press you up against the back wall of some wooden house, "Control yourself, Y/N." Urges Geralt calmly, golden eyes flickering across your face.

Your eyes shut tightly before opening up to find his, you remove your hand from your lips, "That was me controlling myself. Might I remind you how much this fucking place reeks, I feel like I'm going to go insane from everything....too loud, too putrid the scents, too many people..."

His expression softens as he takes the sides of your face within his hands, "Then just focus on me. Just me." Whispers Geralt, "It's just me and you right now. No one else, nothing."

You release a slow breath, gaze lingering onto Geralt's as you find your focus. Feeling his gloved hands upon your skin, his hot breath against your face, his scent you've loved since the moment you met him long ago. You touch your hands to his, bringing his hands away from your face to hold them, "Okay. I'm okay, I'm in control." You then give his hands a light squeeze, "Thank you."

Geralt gifts you a handsome grin in return, "There's my Y/N." He muses, "Now when we go back out there, try not to piss anyone off or scare them. All we need to do is find Jaskier."

You scoff, "Right. How hard can it be? Find a bard in Oxenfurt in this shitfuck of a town, I'll certainly do my best."

He presses a gentle hand to your shoulder before giving it a light squeeze, "Be nice. We need to find him." You give him a loathed look to behold, he knows how much you hate traveling through bigger towns and kingdoms alike due to the certain aromas and people produced. Things he can't smell nor hear half as well as you can, he can only try to imagine the stench and great annoyance of the Redanian people.

At the face you give him does Geralt throw you a warning look, "Y/N."

"I'm nice, I can be the kindest fuck you've ever seen in your life."

He snickers a little at that, "I know you can. Now come, let's find what we can and see if there's a trail leading us to our bard." You roll your eyes just as he swiftly steals a kiss upon your lips before pulling away and heading out of the alley.

When he's made his way into the opened path of the street do you reach his side, "The fuck was that?" You half-hardheartedly interrogate.

Geralt shrugs with a small smile upon his lips, "Just looked as though you needed it."

Shaking your head at him do you look away, "Yeah....well....shut up." Geralt simply chuckles to himself at your semi-flustered reaction to being randomly kissed by him like you two are new lovers traveling for the very first time.

But you'd be a damn fool to say you didn't enjoy it, it's truly the little moments that get you so much.

You soon pass by a couple men chopping up blooded chunks of lamb, a cart full of blankets of all colors of the rainbow, a woman reprimanding a cat in the street, and more people just walking around getting to wherever they need to go. Your gaze trails over the alleys as you pass, ears listening for gossip or the sounds of a lute gifting her spirit of song to the masses. But you hear nothing, see nothing relating to Jaskier at all.

Turning a corner lets your inquisitive gaze lock onto a few whores standing off to the side of the street, somewhere in between heckling and showing provocation for whoever passes by. You give the side of Geralt a nudge, "Idea."

"What?"

"Them." His eyes scan ahead to find a pencil thin whore sweet talking some old man who appears like he'd rather be smacked by a fish then do whatever this woman has just suggested.

"You think they'd know where he is?"

"It's worth a try isn't it?"

Geralt hums, "Fine. You ask."

"Why me?"

"Because you gave the suggestion first."

You give Geralt a hooded look, "Coward."

He makes a puzzled expression, "Y/N.."

You raise a hand, "Speak less." You then give him a wink, "Watch and learn a true seductress perform. If I don't know where Jaskier is after this you may need to pull them off of me."

He simply rolls his eyes at you, though a humored grin remains anyhow, "Sure, sure. And if they don't know where he is, or they happen to be immune to your seduction, what then?"

"What then you ask? Oh you silly man, they will tell me one way or another."

"And if they don't legitimately know, hmm? What then?"

You stop near a stall selling honey and cheeses, expression thoughtful, "I'll figure it out. Just stop questioning me you craven so I can talk to the scary big breasted women who'd love nothing more then to get you into any position that their wicked hearts desire."

"Alright." He crosses his arms over his chest, "Just find out if.."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Jaskier." You mutter in a mockingly Geralt voice, taking a step away from him, "Right, the bard you left alone on the mountain. Remember that?"

He gives you a look, "So did you."

Stopping in the middle of the muddy street do you give him a look, "So did you." Speaking mockingly yet again in his low tone of voice before resting a hand on your hip and turning around, "Fuck off." You sass with a flick of your hand like he's some common peasant boy.

Geralt snorts at your dramatics anyhow, watching as you saunter across the street towards the whores attempting to pick up random strangers going about their business. While getting closer to a fair skinned woman with lavender hair can you pick up the potent scent of all four lined against the wall. Baths? Who needs them? You force yourself to continue onward anyways.

Hood still up and shadowing your eyes can you soon catch the sight of the lavender haired woman with a plethora of cleavage you hadn't cared to notice until now, it's hard not to, there's just so much of it. Way more then you possess that's for damn sure. Her dark eyes soon land upon you casually walking closer to her, a brilliant grin making it's way onto her admittedly beautiful features. No matter the dirt smudges on her cheeks....and her smell.

She raises an intrigued brow, flicking a piece of hair off of her shoulder, "Now what's this?" She says slyly, deeply interested in this hooded mystery woman walking over to her now.

Your smirk is witnessed under the dark hood, "Have I caught your eye, or have you caught mine?" You question with a cunning voice that sends shivers down her spine.

She tilts her head at you still hooded and ever a mystery, "Hmm. Yet to be determined. May I see this foxy traveler finding herself in my presence?"

"If you ask nicely."

She giggles to herself, folding an arm underneath her breasts as she waves you off with her other hand, "Oh you sly thing. Very well, may I see your face I am just dying to catch in the sunlight this fine day?"

"You may."

She bites her lip as you give her a small bow of your head, hands reaching up to slowly pull your hood back until two brilliant eyes of shimmering rubies stare back at her. Paired with a face that could make both men and women fall to their knees begging for more, for just a night with you're exquisite vessel. She's never seen anyone so beautiful in her entire life.

"My, my, my, you are just as your voice reveals to be." She marvels, mouth slightly parted in awe.

"And how is that?"

"As alluring as the first flower of spring." She says before gifting you a coy smirk, "Not an elf, and certainly not a human such as myself. Are you a nymph?"

"Not a nymph. But someone lucky enough to have blessed my eyes upon your angelic body." Butter her up, that's it. You give her a fangy smirk, "And a fine day it is, much finer now."

She bites her lower lip, "I don't care what you are, I can be whatever you'd like. Names Olenna, but I'll let you call me Enna, all my friends do."

"Well Enna, may I ask you something?"

She instantly nods, "Anything."

You take a step closer just slightly into her personal space though she doesn't mind this new close proximity at all, not even when you tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "Just a small question, nothing much at all. And I believe you may have my answer."

"I could." She whispers, completely entranced by your radiance, "I know many things, many many things um..uhh."

You give her a little smile, "It's Sivyra."

"oh. Sivyra."She repeats, "What a beautiful name."

"My father gave it to me, it means great wind in my peoples mother tongue." You whisper, gently and provocatively emphasizing on the ending word, creating a lasting thought in her mind that sends a shiver down her spine once again. So easily she falls for you, it's almost pathetic but honestly at this point you're having too much fun.

Her dark eyes quickly flicker from your lips to your scarlet eyes, "Sivyra?"

"Yes?"

"What is it you wanted to ask of me?"

"Right. Smart thing you are, aren't you?" She giggles when you gift her a wink, "Now, I want to know if you've got any idea as to where any bards may be hiding their talents in a place like this?"

"A bard?" Her brows furrow at this, "What would you want a bard for?"

You gently caress the side of her cheek to draw her confusion back to you, "Because I myself am quite fond of the arts, music in particular, and I don't just spend a night with anyone without the sounds of a tuned melody in the air."

She stares at you in awe, "oh."

"Yes. So my dear Enna, what does that inquiring mind of yours have for me? Do you truly know a thing or two about the happenings of Oxenfurt or will I have to ask one of your friends?"

Her eyes flicker from the other whores then back to you, she quickly shakes her head, "No, no, I know of a bard."

"Hmm, do tell."

She smiles, "The Sandpiper is his name, he's a marvel I tell you, knows how to strum a lute and what a voice. You could do as you'd please listening to him all night...do anything really...anything at all." Her hand moves to touch your hair when your grasp is quick to stop her, she gasps, nerves sparking with excitement at your strong touch. Heartbeat picking up when you giver her a teasingly warning look.

"The Sandpiper you say? And where can we find him now?"

"Now that, that will cost you." Says Enna, gaining her confidence back, and by the way that her eyes flicker with mischief can you tell she knows something you don't.

You raise a brow at her, "Cost me hmm? Seems you know of something highly valuable to me, speak of it you coy vixen or lest your time with me this night will be all that more feverish."

Enna bites her bottom lip at your alluring words, batting her lashes at you like a rosy cheeked maiden, "As you wish, m'lady." She drawls, "The Sandpiper, he won't be singing any longer for us if you can't somehow manage to pay off the guards holding him prisoner." Finally.

"Prisoner? So our lovely bards in a cell as we speak, now this is troubling news." You make a disappointed face to further sell your part, "So it would seem I must be the one between the two of us to pay this debt, for I refuse to have a night spent with as glorious a woman as you with lack of music. A tragic thing that would be, a dreadful thing even."

Enna grins brightly, "I can take you to him."

"You can? How splendid." You let go of her arm before taking a step back, "Lead the way my dear." She giggles, pressing a hand over her heart as she picks up a piece of her long semi-dirty dress that looks as though she stole it from a talented seamstress.

Enna gives you a playful little curtsy, "Follow me." Her grin never falters as she turns to swagger past her fellow whores with you following behind her. As she walks ahead speaking about something you don't truly care about do you turn your sights to a deeply astounded Geralt still standing by the honey stand.

You nod your head in the direction of the babbling whore, mouthing from across the street, "Come on." He shakes his head at you before taking a step to walk, soon following you and the whore down the streets of Oxenfurt from a safe unassuming distance.

Oh you are quite the marvel indeed, thinks Geralt as he watches you go, and all his.

Thanks for reading everyone! More chaos to come..

Taglist: @littlewhiterose @galaxypox @maan24 @lilacs-lavender @letseatnow @certainwonderlandperfection @rafecameronswhore @diegos-butt @ashleyforeverareject @seninjakitey @beck07990 @kmuir1 @a-girl-who-loves-disney @greengrassdiaries @canpillowscry @23victoria @shawnssalsaa @emily-roberts

#geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia x y/n #geralt of rivia x you #geralt of rivia #geralt x reader #geralt x you #geralt x y/n #the witcher x reader #the witcher x y/n #the witcher x you #the witcher #fanfiction #fanfic #series #series rewrite

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hornime · 3 years

Text

home workout | bokuto koutarou x gn!reader

“i’d let you do- do anything. anything you wan’ to me. i’m yours. all- all,” his voice raised a few octaves as the inside of your thighs brushed past his cockhead, “yours. all yours.”

warnings: 18+, sub!bokuto, jealous!reader (i mean who wouldn’t be when bokuto, your goddamn boyfriend, is perceived by other people the fuck), also lowkey possessive!reader, lotsa licking and sucking, nipple play, some praise (from reader) and some begging, brief mention of dacryphilia, kinda soft at the end

w/c: 1.5k sheesh

a/n: bokuto brainrot has me in literal tears. him being completely clueless to people flirting w him cus he doesn’t recognize romance from anyone but you has me so soft. i luv this man w my whole heart !!!!! ALSO THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE ON THE BAKUGO FIC I JUST ABOUT SHIT MY PANTS WOOWWOWO

you weren’t an idiot. you knew that your boyfriend was attractive in literally every aspect of the word. he was sweet, patient, and kind, and what he lacked in academic smarts was made up tenfold in his emotional maturity and ability to read people. big and beefy, bokuto was all yours and all you wanted to stay trapped within his arms forever. unfortunately, to maintain the figure you adored so much and stay in shape for the volleyball season, he had to leave the four walls of your shared bedroom far more than you liked, having a daily obligation to spend a few hours at the gym.

once again, you weren’t an idiot. the few times that your work schedule and his training schedule aligned, you’d been able to work out together. and despite your knowledge of just how good-looking bokuto was and the fact that other people could perceive him (much to your chagrin) you were shocked at just how much people shamelessly flirted with him.

cute girls with matching leggings and sports bras practically clung to his biceps, gushing about how strong he was and how he could probably pick them up with just one hand. their incessant giggling, mesmerizing hair twirling, and teasing touches pissed you off to no end, and you’d tug your boyfriend away before their breasts got too close to him for your liking.

something else you noticed was that, no matter how blatantly obvious the girls seemed to be, the guys were somehow worse, flirting through terms you couldn’t even understand. they compared deadlift weights, bicep curls, hip thrusts; you gritted your teeth thinking about whether they’d ever compared cock sizes in the locker room—you wouldn’t put it past those thirsty gym rats. sneaky bastards.

and bokuto, of course, was oblivious to it all. how could you blame him—he was so used to being adored! you knew that, to him, all of their praises paled in comparison to yours, but you couldn’t help but feel jealous. he was all yours—should be all yours—and you hated sharing him with the world.

you woke up saturday morning with a ringing in your ears, hand smacking the nightstand trying to turn off that god-awful alarm noise, bleary eyes barely able to focus on the text notification from your boyfriend.

[5:33 AM] kou: gm babe!!!! i didnt wanna wake u up cus u looked so peaceful! im heading to the gym rn. text me when ur up! love uu

[5:34 AM] kou: should be home around 9!! gym bud wants to show me something so i might be a little late for breakfast.

just to reiterate, you weren’t an idiot. for all the annoying flirting you noticed when you were with bokuto, there was no doubt in your mind that there must be a lot more when he was at the gym alone, which, unluckily for you, was most of the time since he was a freakin’ pro athlete and all.

you couldn’t prevent the pool of envy from swirling in your gut. gym bud? are you serious? who could that be? the girl with the arm tat or the dude with the dreads? no, maybe its that yoga instructor with the ass—

you shook your head, clearing your brain. you’d be here for hours if you went through everyone at that stupid gym that had ever shown interest in bokuto. the clock read 9:53 AM and the green flame in your body only burned brighter. just as you were about to call him and ask where he was, the front door slammed open.

“babe! i’m home!”

you silently put your phone down, teeth still clenching in jealousy. for some reason, hearing his voice only exacerbated the tension in your shoulders. you needed him. now.

“babe?” his voice creeped closer as he tread through the hallway towards the room. “you up?”

you peeked your head out of the doorframe, cheery voice masking your devilish intentions, “kou!"

his eyes brightened as he made eye contact with you and flashed his trademark smile. “hey! what’s u-” he took in the mischievous glint in your eyes “-p?”

you grabbed his burly forearm, yanking him behind you and walking towards him, forcing him to stumble and fall back on the bed. “wait! i’m all gross and sweaty,” he said, “gym showers were broke-”

“i don’t care. take off your shirt.”

“wow, someone’s eager. missed me that much?”

“watch it,” you glared. “i’m not in the mood, kou.”

he gulped at the dominance radiating from your voice, scrambling to take off the t-shirt that stretched between his pecs perfectly. with the fabric off and throw haphazardly to the side, he looked to you expectantly, the epitome of innocence.

your eyes wandered over his sculpted chest, the remnants of a soft sheen of sweat from his workout making it shine in the sunlight pouring through the blinds. your heart stuttered in your chest—he looked like an angel. coupled with the way with his bottom lip was tucked under his front teeth and the wide, anticipating look in his eyes, fuck. you almost smiled how blessed you felt in that moment, to see him in such a raw, alluring position, before a jarring thought caused your lips to twitch back into a frown.

everyone else can see him, too.

your eyes hardened. maybe they can see him all big and strong, you thought, but they’ll never get to see him like this: submissive.

and so fucking sensitive.

within an instant, your lips were latched on the soft spot above his collarbone, causing him to whimper in pleasure. you continued to travel along his throat, slowly working your way to the other side of his neck and crossing back to nibble at his adam’s apple.

you unexpectedly pulled away, drawing a short whine from him, before repositioning yourself so that you were straddling his outstretched legs. slowly, starting from the hem of his shorts, you dragged your tongue between the ridges of his abs, moving up towards his pecs, tasting the saltiness of his sweat and feeling the muscles tense underneath.

“fuck,” he groaned. as your lips puckered around one of his peaked nipples, he uncontrollably jerked his hips up, inadvertently rubbing his sensitive cock between your legs. overwhelmed by the sensation, he moaned. “fuck.”

“you taste good,” you muttered, grazing your teeth over his other nipple. “just wanna taste you all the time. you’d let me, right?”

thoughts muddled by just how good everything felt, he nodded mindlessly. “i’d let you do- do anything. anything you wan’ to me. i’m yours. all- all,” his voice raised a few octaves as the inside of your thighs brushed past his cockhead, “yours. all yours.”

you paused. raising your head from his chest, you made eye contact with him, so intense he almost closed his eyes to shield himself from the blaze burning in your dilated pupils. “why’d you stop,” he begged, “i want more. feels so good and i wan’ mor-”

“say it again,” you demanded. “tell me that you’re mine.”

his eyes, glossed over and prickled with tears precariously close to falling, squeezed tightly as he spoke, unable to control the growing volume of his voice. “’m all yours. always. all yo- yours.” he gasped as you resumed your movements, pinching the sensitive skin around his v-line while fervently leaving sloppy kisses on his chest.

“good boy.”

he keened at your praise. another light touch to his cock combined with the passage of your mouth had him trembling, and his breath hitched as he cried out in warning, tears now flowing freely over his flushed cheeks. “m’ gonna cum, ‘m gonna, gonna cum.”

“yeah?” you whispered, lips brushing against his strained abs. “go ahead then.”

“fuck!” he whined, blabbering as you sat back and watched in awe of the beauty before you, a big strong man like him reduced to nothing more than a moaning mess. “fuck, fuck—you always make me feel so, s-so go-od, fuck i love you.”

with soaked shorts and an exhausted sigh, he dropped his head back onto the plush comforter of the bed. you flattened your palms on his quivering body, reeling from the aftershocks of his orgasm. he panted, running his fingers through your hair before nudging your face to look at him, staring at you with an expression of pure bliss and adoration. he studied you for a bit before declaring with a soft smile, “you’re the best. so fuckin’ happy that i’m yours.”

driven by affection, he sat up and reached his arms around your waist, snuggling his chin over your shoulder and mashing your chests, yours clothed and his naked, together. “kou wait!” you shrieked. “you’re all sweaty again! it’s gross!”

he chuckled. as if you hadn’t been spoiling him by licking it up just a few minutes ago. “you’re right. i‘m probably sweating more now than i was after my workout.”

at that, your ears perked up. “well maybe you should do home workouts more often then,” you teased.

“you’re right,” he repeated with a grin, “maybe i should.” if it meant more mornings like these, he’d forego the gym in a heartbeat.

that night, he canceled his gym membership. after all, he reasoned, it’s offseason anyway.

#i jus wanna lick him clean #sue me #kinky.inky #haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu bokuto #bokuto smut #bokuto x reader #koutarou x reader #bokuto

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those-sea-green-eyes · 2 years

Text

Dear Diary

So I decided to get back into the groove of writing, and this came into existence. I'm very excited to be writing again, aah!!! I'm definitely doing this as a multi part series so stay on the lookout for the next part!!

part 2 part 3 part 4

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader

This is set before the events of season one and progresses into taking place during season one.

Dear Diary,

God, I hate that I’m even writing that.

Dear Diary

It just sounds so middle school - so childish.

Anyway, it’s been what, six years since I’ve written anything in this grossly purple notebook full of silly little things my younger self thought was some of the best writing ever, aside from the diary entries of course. I remember the first day I got this stupid thing. I had saw it on a shelf in the store while accompanying my mother on the weekly errand run. I thought it was a good idea to have something to write my personal thoughts in, and so did my parents. Man, did this thing go through a lot since then. Looking back at some of the last pages I had written on was almost like going through it all again. Remembering all the pain that comes with those memories is something I hope I never have to endure again. But you know the old saying, “history has a way of repeating itself.”

Enough of the rambling on that topic. I’m not even sure why I’m writing any of this, honestly. You see, I’m currently packing things from my childhood bedroom. More so, things that my mother is going to donate. She’s moving out with her new fiancé and asked if I wanted to come look through my old stuff before she “donated” it all. Knowing her she was probably going to get whatever cash she could out of anything valuable and throw the rest out like garbage. To think she pretends to care about that kind of stuff anymore. Not like she ever did.

After my parents split I ended up living with my dad. Mom never even tried to fight for custody over me. Honestly glad she left me with dad, I would have wanted to live with him anyway. Dad left mom the old house and him and I ended up moving more towards the city, which meant that I had to move schools. I didn’t really like that idea at the time, but now looking back, I couldn’t be more happy with how things played out for me and dad.

God, how I’m so glad that things played out. Meeting him was probably the best thing to happen in my life after all the hell. He’s been there for me during all the recovery and I couldn’t be more grateful. I don’t know how I’d ever repay him honestly. We’re now in our junior of high school - Hawkins High School. It’s crazy to think that was all only four years ago. Time seems to go by so fast yet so slow. Time is a weird concept to me, too. Four years of trying to get over trauma, but four years of a friendship that feels three times as long. We’ve seen each other go through heartbreak and more, I don’t know what else could bring us closer other than experiencing near death, but that’ll never happen, surely.

Onto another topic, the person in question of the previous paragraph. God, I could go on about him for hours. As much as I cherish and value our friendship with my life, there’s some shame in me saying that I wish we could be more than friends. I know, I absolutely hate how stupidly cliché this sounds. Falling for your best friend after knowing them for X amount of years and going through tough shit with each other. It was only recently that I figured out these feelings. But I couldn’t do that to him - telling him I mean. It was only a few months ago that he started dati

“Hey there, how’s it going?”

I turned around to face the bane of my existence - my mom’s fiancé

“Just finishing up.” I say as I put the last of the keep pile into a box, folding the top closed. I stand up and stretch, groaning as my back popped to hard. How long was I sitting there writing? I bent down to pick up my car keys and glanced at the notebook and pen where I left them. It was still open, the last word still unfinished. I sighed and closed it, picking it up whilst stuffing the pen in my pocket. Guess I’ll finish my newest entry later. I set the notebook on top of the keep box and decided to find where my mom went to. Walking down the hall I heard giggling and turned the corner to the kitchen to see my mom and her fiancé making out. I leaned against the doorframe and dramatically cleared my throat, making them both jump.

“If you’re done being gross, I’ve finished packing up the boxes. I’m gonna head out too.” I pushed myself off the doorframe and walked to pick up an apple from the counter.

“Oh, honey, you should join us for lunch! I’m making tuna sandwh-”

“No, thanks. I’m actually getting lunch with Steve, which is why I need to leave shortly.” I jingled my keys and turned the corner to retrieve the keep box back in my old room. I entered the room and took a deep breath. It’d been a few years since I’d been in this room. I’d visit my mom every now and then, rather, when it was convenient for her. Taking a last look around, my mom stepped into the room.

“You know, you’re welcome to come visit us any time up in Fort Wayne.”

There she goes again, pretending to care.

“Thanks for the offer, mom. I’ll let you know if I ever plan to go up there.” I gave her a tight lipped smile, turning to pick up the box to take to the car.

“Oh, here, let me get Evan to carry that for yo-”

“No, I’ve got it.” I scoffed under my breath and carried the box to my car. Shoving it in the backseat, I closed the door and turned to my mom to give her a quick hug.

“Bye sweetie. Call me if you need anything.” she smiled and turned to walk back up to the house to meet her boyfriend at the door. I hopped in the car and started the engine. Pulling out of the driveway I couldn’t help but have a sense of sadness wash over me. Yes, I thoroughly loathed my mom for what she did to me and my dad, but she was still my mother. And here she was, moving hours away with her perfect man to go play pretend and have the carefree life she so desperately wanted - instead of being thirty minutes away from her own daughter to be there and support said daughter. I pretended not to notice her waving me goodbye as I drove off. Sighing, I flipped on the radio and began my drive into town.

#stranger things #stranger things x reader #steve x reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #stranger things steve #stranger things steve harrington #steve reader insert #steve harrington reader insert #steve x y/n #steve harrington x y/n #sharky writes shit

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yinses · 4 years

Text

substitute

| you told yourself that you would do anything for satoru |

gojo satoru x reader

rating: 18+

a/n: i have an obsession i know. i’m working on it

it was to a soft tickling at the inside of your thighs that welcomed you into the next day. a soft sigh broke through your yawn as you shifted and twisted against the desires tugging at your veins.

somewhere in your mind, you registered that it was much too early.

but of course your body disagreed tenfold.

“ngh…” an equally tired chuckle vibrates against you and you jumped at the touch of a thumb brushing against your outer lips.

“the was a cute sound,” the voice purred. your hips lifted once more in reaction before they were assisted into submission by the firm weight of a forearm along your pelvis.

the sounds of your slick sliding against his tongue were as equally loud as it was lewd. there was no art to the madness, just a series of flicks and heavy suction.

your fingers clenched at the sheets, wrinkling the integrity as your chest heaved with every moan. in terms of wake up calls, the impending shrill of your alarm easily took last place.

“you are always such a sight to wake up to. thought i’d return the favor.”

and return it he did.

the insertion of a finger freed up the opportunity for his voice to waft around the room again. the rhythm was as languid as his lazy drawl as he bent a joint and raked the nail against your inner walls.

“i also might need a favor.”

the pinch of your brow came before the comprehension of his words. gojo was always a talker- a stronger contender as a firm charmer that managed to weave his way through society. as his position as ‘the chosen one’, his power spoke volumes.

with you- he leaned on alternative methods.

“fuck-toru… you bastard.”

you choked over the inclusion of a second finger, barely swallowing your words as you struggled to rock into them.

“that’s not very nice of you. to think i woke up so early to treat you this morning.

your boyfriend took the opportunity to curl both fingers this time, smirking when you all but managed to successful buck him off as you keened under his ministrations.

“it’s nothing big.” turquoise eyes, tinged with lust, met yours as he rose his head. the blanket fell off his shoulders, revealing more pale skin. “i just need a bit of a substitute today.”

substitute? as in substitute teacher? he had to be joking.

unlike gojo, after graduation you had more than willingly left behind the stuffy atmosphere of education. as a sorcerer, you never did stop learning. the always evolving curses not letting you hang too far off your game.

but to return to the classroom to put those young students through everything you hated in your youth?

no orgasm was worth that.

you disguised your grimace under the pretense of displeasure as he withdrew his hand all together. he tsked at your impatience, using the same hand as a crude form of lube as he fisted his growing cock.

“it will be easy. these classes are even smaller than ours were.”

it was difficult to voice a complaint when he was doing just the opposite and sliding into you. your back arched as he filled you to the hilt with little difficulty.

he experimented with a shallow thrust, a grin pulling at his lips when you responded positively. the pace he set was slower than either of you were use to on a regular basis, but it fit the mood of morning sex.

his forehead touched yours as he drew back for another long thrust. “shit-squeezing me so early. what a good girl.”

you whimpered when his hips met yours with more force than the last. “think of how excited they’ll be to have a new face. such a sexy one at that.”

your body slid along the mattress each time he buried himself within you. you didn’t want to admit that he was getting to you. not even his all seeing gaze needed to retell the obvious. his plan was flawless and in short you were too much of a simp for the man.

so you just accepted the early morning distraction, taking direct pleasure in the way it unraveled the tangle of sleep.

you clenched your inner muscles helpfully and your boyfriend groaned in appreciation as he chased both of your releases with new vigor. the twitching and shakiness began with you as the pace picked up. your climax tumbled out of you with a sharp gasp as your boyfriend filled the space with a grunt.

the two of you took a minute to regain your before he eventually pulled out and you pointedly ignored the stickiness as you relaxed your legs to give him the room to pull away. he didnt stray too far, white locks tickling your nose as he leaned in close again.

“i have more in store for you tonight as a thank you.”

with a huff, you pressed your palm against his cheek before his lips could chase yours.

“fine, fine. i’ll babysit your class. you better be on some super important mission.”

gojo made a pleased sound, somewhere stuck between a hum and a warm rumble as he nuzzled the side of your neck and pressed his lips there instead.

“super important. thanks babe.”

you don’t know why you agreed to this.

leaning back against the desk, you returned the silent gesture as the three first-years scrutinized your presence. aside from megumi, the other two were new faces for you. but your boyfriend’s knack for storytelling painted the picture in the absence of words.

nobara was obvious. the sole girl of the unit.

poor girl.

she seemed to share your sentiment of wanting to be anywhere else but here.

“so you’re dating sensei?”

you brought your arms closer to your chest as your shoulders rose with the action.

was that … judgement?

“i’m so sorry.”

it was the sincerity that scared you the most.

“oh wow, wow, wow. sensei’s really got it all. “

sukuna’s vessel was impossible to miss as any seasoned sorcerer. despite the boy’s positive demeanor, he reeked of the malevolent residue. yet in a way he made it work, there was nothing really about him that didn’t come off as approachable.

he had something to gain gojo’s infatuation. there was no doubt in your mind that he would use this boy to help him dismantle the systematic hierarchy of the sitting elders.

you just had to wonder.

was the kid his main tool or the curse?

“i can’t believe you actually agreed to this.”

ah, megumi.

the boy liked to express his love for distance, but the years swallowed up so much of it as you watched him grow. your boyfriend was a lot of things but you couldn’t deny the influence he had on the young sorcerer.

the boy who seemed to disdain the attention knew it too.

now that everyone had their turn to speak, you supposed it was your turn.

“he was very convincing,” you offered lowly before picking up the volume. “let’s not pretend you’re actually going to learn anything from me. im just a sit in until satoru gets back from his mission.”

megumi’s scoff shouldn’t have come as a surprise. gojo’s name was rarely spoken without it’s accompaniment.

“what makes you think he’s not off sightseeing?”

because killing gojo was impossible but you would happily tire yourself exploring your options.

your smile was tight as you gestured to the door,” lets kick the morning off with some practice matches. the second years are always eager.”

settled comfortably against the bleachers observing as your temporary students got their asses handed to them, you came to the conclusion that being a teacher couldn’t be too bad. perhaps in the future you might be more willing to offer your services with out your boyfriend’s extra persuasion.

speaking of gojo, you wondered how his mission was going. you never actually questioned his agenda.

you didn’t expect to wait long as the dial tone started up. outside of battle and life or death situations, gojo rarely ignored your calls. he knew in the thick of it you could protect yourself, but he preferred to keep himself available to your needs.

the sounds of mixed commotion greeted you before his voice did.

“toru … it sounds busy. where are you?”

gojo’s answering laugh should have been the first warning. to some it may have come off as eased but you could hear the way he forced it in to deflect.

“sweetheart, how are classes going? i hope they’re not giving you too much trouble.”

trouble seemed to be the opposite of what he was dealing with. there were a lot of people holding their own conversations in the background, all of them too casual to be in danger. in fact, there were too many in general to place him on a battlefield.

what exactly were you substituting for?

“order #217 for… gogo-san?”

the loud cluck of your tongue against the roof of your mouth was suddenly powerful enough to drown out the clamor.

gojo satoru prided himself on standing resilient to all threats. it was how he maintained his position as the strongest. he was sought out for his efficiency and ability to overcome all adversaries.

even against the most fearsome.

“honey, do i ever have a treat for you! today was a single-day special at my favorite bakery. you should have seen the lines. it's a good thing i got here so early!”

there were a lot of things you would do for satoru gojo.

and even more that you would do to him when you got home.

#gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #Jujutsu Kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo sins

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kithtaehyung · 3 years

Text

Last November (M)

title: last november (m) post date: december 14th, 2020, 8pm est ⤷ revamped/extended: march 27th, 2021, 10pm est pairing: seokjin x reader(f) genre: angst, smut, exes to lovers au summary: you two broke up on good terms. even seeing each other on your friends’ yearly end-of-november trip was never awkward. so why did this trip feel so different? and why does it feel like the end of something that wasn’t even there in the first place? warnings: angst, bad puns and jokes, mutual pining, light dom/sub undertones, oral sex (m/f receiving), nipple play, hair-pulling, choking, rough sex, unprotected sex (pls be responsible!), dirty talk, spanking, creampie, seokjin is a consent king, did i say angst?, did i also say bad puns and jokes? mobile users: alt link if this doesn’t open in tumblr ➛ AO3 word count: 23.7k 24.7k !!

On the last Friday of every November, your group of friends piled into two cars and set off into the mountains.

Ever since you all graduated from high school years ago, everyone branched off into their individual, intricate walks of life. Different towns, different jobs, different social circles.

But before those grand adventures started, each of you promised one thing: a yearly trip to keep the friendship alive.

This time around, you happened to be in the “decidedly more fun” car as Jimin, Taehyung, and your longtime friend Rin jammed the backseat with singing and road trip games. Since Seokjin took driver, you claimed navigator, leaving the front of the vehicle a bit muted compared to the other half. Which was fine - you always loved relaxing on the sidelines while your friends played with chaos and hilarity.

Namjoon kept you company from time to time, too, so you weren’t completely alone in your preferred space.

The only thing that could’ve made the ride awkward was if you and Seokjin were on bad terms.

It wasn’t every day you found yourself sitting beside your ex, after all.

But that simple fact didn’t phase you. The truth was that your breakup was clean and painless - a massive relief to your friends. Back then, it would have torn everyone to pieces picking sides.

The split was so organic that you couldn’t recall an awful reason why it happened. Separation proved as natural as the changing of seasons: you had moved away for university and he powered through his own medical pursuits. Over time, the relationship simmered to a text every few days, resulting in the night in which you decided that it was better to remain friends.

What sucked was the fact that, over the course of time after the breakup, you fell for Seokjin. Annoying, charming, incredible Seokjin.

You didn’t come to terms with it until last November, when you watched his eyes sparkle under an indigo ocean of stars and it just clicked. Agony carved into your heart some nights when you thought about nothing else, but you couldn’t admit your feelings. Not when you two decided that your river had run its course. You couldn’t risk smothering the last embers of your relationship, so radio silence remained your lonely swan song.

Of course you wanted to admit it. You wanted to tell him. Because no matter who came after, they all fell short. Every smile flashed your way, every pair of arms wrapped around your torso, every night spent between the sheets. Nothing compared to what you got from Jin. That man created a hole in your heart that lingered in his wake, a hole through which all of your subsequent relationships plummeted.

The truth was simple: you didn’t want to ruin what you had. Even if what you two would always be was just friends, that endgame was enough for you.

At least, that’s what you told yourself. Every night when you couldn’t sleep, and every morning when you woke up to an empty bed.

Your vision snapped into focus as your phone screen bloomed. The maps app signaled for a turn, so you relayed the direction to Seokjin, who repeated the direction out loud before following through.

Just like always.

The road in front of you melted into a different scene entirely as you recalled why he started that habit. It sprouted from one of your car rides to a diner situated on the other side of your hometown.

During the drive, you did your best as navigator, but your boyfriend was so into the music playing that he missed some turns. One errant right later had you both terribly lost, the surrounding area swallowing the car in darkness. On instinct, you dove into defense mode, trying and failing not to outright panic.

“My maps won’t load,” you stuttered, hitting the screen with your finger, “Shit, shit, shit.”

“Don’t worry, I can just—”

“Don’t tell me not to worry,” you bit out. “Let’s just get out of here.” You hated how pure paranoia pricked at the corners of your eyes. Getting lost was completely irksome and going back home was more appealing to you than moving forward with the date.

“Okay. I won’t,” Seokjin assured you, turning the wheel and rolling the car out from the shadowy street. “How can I help instead?”

“Oh, umm.” With grateful eyes, you stared at your boyfriend and admired his consideration. You’ve never been asked that while upset before. “You could, uh, repeat the directions before following them? That might help.”

His lips curved into a smile, and streetlights flooded the car to bathe his sincerity in a warm glow. “Repeat directions, you got it.”

The memory faded as you blinked and observed the endless mountain range enveloping the road. Snow topped the summits in white caps; coniferous trees swallowed the steep slopes. As if reminiscence clogged your ears, the music in the car seemed louder outside your broken reverie.

Taehyung, as always, took charge of the aux. He usually had an eclectic mix of tunes on rotation but, that time, nothing but upbeat Christmas music was queued. You had to admit: merry music coating the car windows and mountainous scenery claiming your entire vision put you in the best mood.

It was even better when Seokjin sang along. You really did like his singing voice.

“I like my singing voice, too.”

Your eyes snapped toward the driver, expression freezing over as you drank in his delight. Did you really say that out loud? You knew Seokjin enough to know that he was never going to let that go.

“Yeah, well…” You lazily swatted his grin away. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

Seokjin chuckled, his hands comfortably resting on the wheel. “Are you offering to do that for me? It’s minimum wage, but I’d hire you.”

Rolling your eyes felt like the only appropriate response, so you did exactly that, your exasperated gaze looping around to land on your phone. “Relish this moment, Seokjin,” you advised, zooming out in the maps app to make sure you were still heading in the right direction, “Because it won’t happen again. And take the next exit. We’re almost there.”

“Yes, yes, next exit.” You missed the smirk on his face as he scanned the roadside for the telltale sign. “Moment relished,” he quipped, “But I prefer my moments with ketchup and mustard.”

Your groan drowned in his boisterous laughter, but the hand on your face betrayed you since it couldn’t quite cover up the glee that formed right after.

An hour later, everyone had unloaded the vehicles at the campgrounds and pitched the tents. While Hoseok and Jungkook worked on starting the fire pit, Namjoon and Jimin took their time organizing the food and snacks. Rin had disappeared with Taehyung somewhere, but Yoongi said he spotted them taking pictures a ways off.

“They should be helping,” he muttered. “There’s a lot to do before it gets dark out.”

Squatting down to rotate sizzling meat on your portable grill, you waved him off. “They’re shot-swapping since it’s golden hour.”

The silence that followed gave you pause. When you looked up in curiosity, Seokjin and Yoongi regarded you like a foreign language coated your tongue, their struggle to decipher it earning a chuckle of pity.

“They’re both huge influencers, so they know how to take pictures. They always do this when we get together,” you explained, spinning the kebab onto another side, “And golden hour is around sunrise and sunset. It looks like everything is soaked in gold, and it makes your pictures look pretty. But that’s an old term already! You geezers should keep up.”

Yoongi simply raised an eyebrow and kneeled to turn his designated stick. Smoke from the charred meat wafted into your noses as he declined, “I’ll pass. That sounds stressful.”

A rapid clapping of tongs next to your ear preceded Seokjin’s offer, “What are we waiting for? Let’s golden hour swap!”

Why did he have to be so endearing? A cough escaped your throat, disjointed laughs following right after in their awkward escape. Beside you, Yoongi flung condescension Jin’s way, his voice stocked with disappointment as he warned, “Don’t speak. You age yourself.”

You transferred your kebabs to a foiled plate before standing, blood rushing to your lower legs. Seokjin was unleashing a hearty tirade at the other man grilling when you intervened, “That sounds nice, actually. I’m in a photography class so I was planning on taking some photos anyways. Lemme just get my camera.”

As you walked away, you couldn’t escape the abrupt change in atmosphere hovering over the grills, its looming tension caressing the back of your coat in a slight push. The words exchanged were soft in volume, but their possible meanings stayed clanging in your ears.

“Did you tell her yet?”

“No.”

“Do it. She deserves to know.”

You slipped out of your tent with a heavy jacket and lightheadedness. Medicine would’ve helped with the latter, but the med kit Seokjin packed remained strictly for emergencies. Besides, you couldn’t quite slap a bandage on what was truly bothering you anyways.

As you inspected your class-registered Polaroid, you continued to wonder what Yoongi meant earlier.

What was he implying? You deserved to know what? You couldn’t say the feeling swirling around your gut was a positive one. After all, there was a distinct difference in what a person should know, and what a person deserved to know. What was so important that Yoongi practically ordered Seokjin to spill?

Was there another person in his life now? That was one thing that crossed your mind, but you filed that under the “should know” category, even though it twisted your stomach to think about.

The news had to be something urgent.

Was Seokjin getting married?

Without your permission, vessels in your heart shriveled, squeezing life from your already battered soul. A betrothal was entirely possible with his pursuit of a medical degree and coming from a well-to-do family. Maybe he was in an arrangement?

That possibility dropped an anvil on your chest. You couldn’t say that you were completely fine were that the truth. How could you be fine with something like that if you loved him? Of course, you would be happy if he was, but your heart would require recuperation for an extended amount of time. Give or take a few years.

You wandered so far into the depths of your mind that Seokjin’s sudden appearance kicked you back to shore, a yelp leaving your mouth at the same time your Polaroid left your hands. If the camera wasn’t hanging from your neck, you would’ve been in deep shit with your professor as soon as it hit the cold soil.

Its bulky frame definitely bruised your lower chest on the downswing, though. “Ow. Geez, Jinnie, you can’t just sneak up on people like that.”

Your eyes widened in realization. Jinnie? Shit, you hadn’t called him that since you guys were dating. Quite obviously, the stockpile of thoughts and worries involving his secret were blocking your brain from better judgment.

And apparently you weren’t the only one affected by that nickname because Seokjin’s eyebrows shot into his dark locks, his peculiar glance shifting away. Odd.

After an awkward second, he cleared his throat. “Does it hurt?”

Is it supposed to? You knew he was inquiring about your injury but your thoughts drifted to what hadn’t been divulged yet. “No, it’s fine,” you lied. “Let’s pick a spot before we lose the light.”

You don’t remember how long you walked, but the pair of you ended up far from the original campsite.

In your defense, it wasn’t like you planned that outcome. The trees matched at every turn, so you kept wandering until you found a good clearing - or at least some rocks to break the forested monotony.

A foil to your pickiness, Seokjin voiced his thoughts every ten paces, his votes of confidence constantly crushed by your boots. If you had a cent for every time he declared a spot “the one,” you could actually afford the Polaroid dangling from your neck.

It was at a calm clearing with some patches from last snowfall where you decided to settle.

Unhooking the strap from your neck, you ushered, “Let’s do this quick. It’s almost over.”

“I wanna do it first!” You thought Seokjin meant to take the camera from you, but instead he scuttled into the clearing, striking a pose once he reached its center. Of course the fool meant that he wanted his pictures taken and not the other way around. How was any other idea plausible? “Hurry up, you said!”

“The ‘S’ in Seokjin stands for ‘Selfish,’” you yelled, positioning the Polaroid against your eye regardless. His face enlarged in the lens and, to his credit, you couldn’t argue that he was the clear model between you two. The man could pursue a career in fashion instead of medicine and you wouldn’t bat an eye.

He looked handsome merely standing there, cheeks dimpling at nothing in particular and his charm ever effortless. Even the slight bags under his eyes didn’t take away from his natural beauty.

Par for the course with Seokjin. That unbothered self-assurance was one of the traits you liked and hated about him.

At least, initially. The more you got to know him, your outlook on that defining characteristic was one of admiration, not hatred. You simply needed to start shoving some of that confidence down your own throat like a different type of vitamin C.

After a telltale camera snap, the man threw out his coated arms in another pose. “And the ‘Seok’ stands for ‘Seok in my presence!’”

“I think I’ve been in it long enough. My fingers are pruny,” you droned while lowering your Polaroid, ignoring his wiggling in the background. It seemed you were still accustomed to his ridiculousness.

Yet another thing you gave him credit for: he was never afraid to be a dork. When you first met him, you admittedly thought he was faking it. Over time, you recognized his authenticity, and you grew fond of everything wrapped in the gift that was Kim Seokjin.

You waited for the picture to materialize in your hand. When your impatient model approached you and asked why you weren’t shaking the polaroid, you informed him that you should, in fact, not do that. “It’ll damage the final product!”

“So that song is…”

“Wrong. Yes.”

Pure shock flashed across his face. “What other lies have I been told?”

The captured memory started blossoming, and you watched as the color bled into life. “That you aren’t the funniest person on the planet,” you answered, earning a scoff.

“In that case, you’ve just been misinformed.” Seokjin huffed before offering an outstretched palm. “Now hand over the camera, it’s your turn.”

“Me?” You didn’t think he was serious when he said swap. In reality, you just assumed he whipped up an excuse for you to take pictures of him.

And you didn’t mind. It was nice to have that charming smile directed at you, even if only through the lens of a camera. The Polaroid would be your shield, blocking Seokjin from the pain swimming in your eyes, barely afloat in pools of regret and guilt and loneliness.

“Yes, woman! When was the last time you had your picture taken?”

Slowly, embarrassment swelled across your cheeks when you realized it had been a very long time. Legitimately long. You never asked others to take your picture; rather, you were always the one behind the lens. The last time someone actually offered was…

“When you took one,” you stuttered out breathily, “At that park.”

It was during one of the last dates you two went on before you left for university. There was a carnival you were dying to visit, and Seokjin surprised you with tickets and a kiss.

You remember being so elated while traversing through the whimsical booths, failing fantastically at the rigged games, scarfing down sticky, billowy cotton candy. Squeaky horns and childish laughter filled your ears, and you could still feel Jin’s gentle fingers on your hand as he shyly tugged you under glowing stringed lights.

The main attraction was a carousel keeping everything else in orbit, its charisma shining like a golden, spinning sun. When night fell, you too gravitated toward its charm, standing behind its barricade to watch horses and teacups endlessly turn.

It was so captivating that you forgot yourself and where you were - who you were supposed to be spending time with. Swiveling in fear, you scanned the bustling crowd for your boyfriend, realizing that you needn’t worry at all.

Seokjin simply waited behind you, holding up his phone and telling you to pose. You were so caught off-guard in that moment that your face contorted hilariously right as he snapped the photo. In his eyes, it was the greatest picture of all time.

However, it wasn’t that well received by its subject. You begged Seokjin to delete it, and he finally caved on the grounds that you took a replacement. Conceding, you stomped back to the gate guarding the twirling attraction and pranked your boyfriend with a blank expression.

But as soon as Seokjin drawled “You look like you don’t care-ousel,” you burst into laughter - your unabashed mirth becoming his background on every device he owned.

The scene faded from your eyes as the current Seokjin stood in front of you, gripping the Polaroid instead of his phone. Gone were the lights and sounds of the theme park and, with them, your fleeting moment of solace.

“Oh,” was all he stated in return, and you swore the temperature chose to drop in that moment just to mock you.

“You know I don’t prefer it anyways.” Your heart was losing its grip, sorrow evident in your shaky tone. You folded your arms to shield your body from the weather and unwanted emotions. “I’m definitely not as photogenic as you.”

“Nonsense,” Seokjin shot back. “Now hurry up, it’s only golden minute now!”

And just like that, his warmth melted any awkwardness like spring chasing away winter.

In retrospect, he probably regarded that moment at the carnival differently, or he just wanted to keep those memories in the past where they belonged. It hurt to be the only one so strongly affected by them, but Jin had the right idea. If there existed a standard list of activities to do with an ex, talking about the past wasn’t one of the options. Especially if you had feelings for said ex.

Plus, you didn’t forget that there was something he had to tell you. It seemed like you were going to have to wait a little longer for that, and your anxiousness wasn’t pleased.

As you ambled to the center of the clearing, you focused more on the crunching sounds your boots made rather than your feelings. With a quick survey of the area, you surmised that it really was a pretty spot, the mountain range peeking behind the trees adding depth to the setting. Adjusting your outfit, you took a breath of courage before staring at the eye of the Polaroid.

Seokjin moved the camera from his face and called your name, roping your gaze to his concern. “Smile, okay?”

On instinct, your throat constricted. You couldn’t hide behind the lens that time. But smile you did, and you hoped Seokjin thought it genuine, silently pleading him to not notice the anguish lingering behind your crescent eyes.

The fire pit your friends constructed blazed bright as you both made it back to the campgrounds. Everyone occupied the surrounding logs and, judging from the soft pop pumping from a portable speaker, Jungkook must have commandeered music control.

Jimin turned when he heard your footsteps, his expression indiscernible as he shifted his gaze between you and Jin. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything, only turning back to Yoongi to continue their conversation.

Seokjin and you parted ways effortlessly: he slotted into the empty space next to Namjoon and you headed to your tent to stow your camera.

And for some reason, that easy departure was hard to swallow.

Your pitched space offered warmth upon entry, and you dumped yourself onto your sleeping bag without a word. A few quiet moments passed before you unzipped your backpack, the tiny action feeling so tedious, so difficult to achieve.

After you finally stored your equipment and closed your bag shut, you just… sat there. Contemplative.

Mentally, you were in a bad place. Your thoughts and emotions banged into each other, their war rendering you powerless - captive. Fidgeting with the plasticky fabric of your sleeping bag, you thought back to what happened after you two left the photo spot.

It was an uneventful walk back for the most part. The polaroids turned out nice, all thanks to the very rare and very expensive camera you borrowed. Seokjin claimed yours and handed you his, and faced with your sudden curiosity, he sheepishly offered, “You don’t have to keep it.”

You were more questioning of the fact that he stored yours in his jacket, but you didn’t want to broach that subject. It was beginning to scare you. Maybe it was the fact that he was acting strange, coupled with the other fact that he was hiding something from you.

Why were you suddenly afraid to confront him? You two were open with each other during your relationship. Were you also wanting to put this dreaded conversation off as long as possible, too?

If he was with someone else, though, would he still be keeping your picture?

It was too much to think about, so you tried to lock everything in a box and sit on it.

You saw the light of the campfire after a few minutes of walking through the woods - a handful of silent, crawling minutes. It was bugging you that Seokjin didn’t say anything on the way back. A quiet Jin was a Jin knee deep in thought, and not in good circumstance. In a moment of weakness, you almost offered out your hand to grab his, but you instead crammed it inside your coat pocket.

When you both rejoined your friends, it seemed so easy for you guys to separate, like you didn’t just go off and do something so intimate. Even though that wasn’t the word you wanted to use.

You resigned yourself to the big picture nonetheless: it wasn’t like what Taehyung and Rin did. Your best friend was insanely popular on social media with her carefully curated feed and relatable-yet-unachievable style. Taehyung had his own massive following for different reasons, and you couldn’t deny that he knew exactly what he was doing to gain the hearts of many. They were snapping photos for each other to show millions of anonymous beings across the world.

You and Seokjin just took photos for each other to have. No one else was going to see those.

Why did you feel like that was significant?

The edge of your sleeping bag began to fray under duress, so you plucked your body off the ground and slipped back outside. What you expected was the temperature dipping a couple degrees in nightfall. What you didn’t expect was Jimin waiting for you, puffy jacket and all, leaning against a tree.

When he saw you emerge from your tent, he straightened and regarded you with caution. “Everything okay?”

You adjusted the front of your coat before fishing a beanie out to cover your ears. “Yeah, why?”

“You were just in there for awhile,” Jimin explained, his eyes searching yours, “And you were with him for a long time.”

“I don’t like being interrogated, Park,” you sighed.

“I know, I just…” He mirrored you and huffed his own breath toward the ground. A quick glance had you noticing that his own beanie was knit as thick as the fog in your mind. “I just want to make sure.”

Jimin was whom you considered closest next to your best friend and formerly Seokjin. After your break up, Jimin regularly sent you texts to check on you, despite your constant assurance that you were okay. It got to a point where you phoned him and pleaded reprieve - to reach out only if he had something critical to say.

His broken reply? He only texted you because Seokjin wouldn’t.

You ended up crying after that call, and the tears annoyingly persisted a couple nights following.

He was also one of the only two people in the world that knew you loved Jin. Rin was the other, and that’s only because you let it slip during a girls’ night over cheap wine and period piece movies. Something about an early morning confession in a dewy meadow was enough to loosen your alcohol-mottled tongue.

After you ran your fingers over your head, you responded, “Can I ask you something?”

Your friend’s eyes roamed over your face. “Of course.”

“What’s he hiding from me?”

Jimin instantly clammed up at the question. His dancer frame assumed a rigid position, each limb locking, including his jaw. “It’s not my place to say,” he answered gravely, pulling anger from your center.

“Does everyone else know this secret except me?” You really couldn’t take it anymore, especially knowing that something you supposedly deserved to know was possibly public knowledge.

“Just the guys,” Jimin divulged, and you scoffed.

“I can’t believe this.” You made to walk away, in the opposite direction of the campfire. Into the woods again.

Jimin said your name like he just wanted you to understand already, halting you mid-stride. “I’ve been trying to get him to talk to you. Trust me, I have.”

“He’s a grown man, Park. His decisions aren’t your problem,” you whispered.

“But aren’t they yours?”

“Not anymore. We aren’t together right now, if you don’t recall.” You knew you were spitting bullshit, and Jimin did, too. If Seokjin wasn’t giving you problems, you wouldn’t have been hiding in your tent or literally and figuratively walking away from him. Guiltily, you turned back to face Jimin and give him his credit.

He was this way for everyone in your group: the glue that hung on and fought to keep people from breaking apart. Whenever a fight broke out between warring parties, Jimin was the middle man. Always.

Sighing, you relented, “I’m sorry I’m taking this out on you. I’m just so confused, and the longer he hides whatever he’s hiding from me, the more restless I’ll be.”

“Everyone is on your side in this,” Jimin replied. “He just needs to, I don’t know, woman up.”

A breath of laughter escaped you at the tweaked phrase, the tension coating your shoulders slowly sliding off in clumps. “Did you say ‘woman up?’”

“Men aren’t shit,” your friend explained, pointing a gloved finger to punctuate every syllable. “At least women get things done.”

“I would totally drink to that if I had a bottle in my hand, Jimin.”

“Ah, well that can be arranged!” The boy’s eyes crinkled as he spun on a heel. “Let’s go. Jungkook and Taehyung brought out the drinks awhile ago. I missed out on a few bottles already talking to you.”

“Oh, I feel so remorseful,” you cooed, your voice worthy of giving kids cavities. “Almost as if I cared.”

“Ass,” Jimin snapped, but he could only laugh. When you joined his side, he turned and whispered, “But seriously. If he doesn’t talk about it by the end of this trip, I’m giving him hell.”

The temperature dropped again at that moment, and the wind blowing through the pines cut straight into your bones. Your shoulders hunched on instinct and you blinked to get needed moisture. Was it going to snow? The skies above did look intimidating. Was it going to storm?

A sudden trepidation settled into your gut. “Did we check the weather,” you queried, shuffling through your brain to see if you monitored it yourself before the trip.

“Uh-umm, I did,” Jimin answered through chattering teeth, “But I didn’t see anything other than it being cold.”

You pulled out your phone and regretted doing so, your fingers freezing over instantly. You were lucky you all chose a location that was still in signal range - really, thanks went to Rin and Taehyung for incessantly demanding it every year.

Pulling up the weather app after a few tries, you cursed at the oncoming forecast. “Well, there’s more to it. Snow’s coming in,” you relayed to Jimin. “Let’s pack up and find a place to stay.”

The car ride to the nearest lodging felt immensely different than the ride to the campgrounds. Some people focused on defrosting, one person worried about the people in the front, and the two said people in the front weren’t talking at all.

It was you that broke the silence when you steadily gave directions, and Seokjin would repeat them like always. Selfishly, you wanted the car ride to keep going just so you could hear his voice. He wasn’t saying anything otherwise, and there wasn’t music playing for him to absentmindedly sing along to.

The first snowfall was light as your caravan entered the small town nearby, which relieved you. Tiny snowflakes clung onto the windows and you lost yourself in their geometric patterns. Lights from the shops and other stray cars reflected in the slick roads to create a symphony of color, and white patches already settled on trees that lined the main way.

Seokjin spotted the lodge first, and he rolled into a spot towards the entrance, Jungkook’s car slotting into the next space. Your driver rolled down his window and repeatedly pointed his finger down to signal for Yoongi to follow suit. “Let’s go in and make sure they have our rooms first,” he called out, and Jungkook leaned over his console to shout a hearty okay.

You hoisted yourself out of the car and waited for the boys to follow. Seokjin went to stand next to you, but instead of Jungkook popping out of the other car, it was Namjoon that emerged. You could only guess that the youngest slyly started a game to have the loser get out.

Your stomach turned when you realized it was most likely because no one wanted to be left alone with you and Seokjin.

Remorse burned your throat. This trip was supposed to be fun, but it just felt strained. Were you overthinking? Or was your churning gut correct in its assumption?

At the very least, you hoped everyone else was having a better time than you were.

It seemed that the man beside you had the same feeling that a challenge was pitched. “Rock-paper-scissors? Or nose goes?”

Namjoon just laughed at the ground as his face flushed. “Nose goes, and I put my finger on my mouth so, umm, that’s that.”

You chuckled while you three made your way to the door, both of them towering over you on either side. Seokjin opened the entrance for everyone and, when you stepped foot inside, you were hit with a wave of warmth mixed with an undercurrent of gingerbread. The entirety of the main entrance bathed in plaid or embroidered throws, and there was an obvious affinity for Christmas on display with the plethora of garlands, lights, and a towering Christmas tree in the front bay window.

Namjoon and Seokjin quickly got distracted by the toy train running through a snowy village setup. Adorable, but not helpful.

Alone at the front desk, you received confirmation that your group had four bookings, and you thanked the concierge while you gathered the keys.

The rooms weren’t next to each other. One of them sat on another floor, and the rest were separated but shared the same level.

A container of pamphlets caught your attention, so you grabbed one before strolling away. “Guys, let’s claim our rooms. After that, you can watch the train all you want,” you called out, tapping them both on the back with the thin brochure.

They swiveled their heads to your retreating form before following you out the door.

“No. We are not doing that again.”

“Come on, hyung, it’ll be fun!”

“I’m with Yoongi on this one. We could all end up in the same room.”

“But what if you get a room to yourself?”

“Why can’t we ever just pick like normal people? And Hoseok-hyung, you laugh but you have the worst luck out of all of us.”

“Excuse me! That’s only because you all psyche me out!”

“Let’s just pick something. My phone’s almost dead.”

You stood next to Rin while you two watched the boys decide how room assignments were determined. It was a sight to see: them crowding the small hallway, bags littered around their bulky shoes. You both were thankful they were courteous enough to let you two keep a room to yourselves. They even made sure yours wasn’t on the other floor, just so that you girls wouldn’t be alone.

They were going to pick random rooms one-by-one, not knowing which options the others picked until they opened a door. If you and your friend also had to choose, you were risking the possibility of being stuck with Seokjin, which was the last thing you wanted.

On a day where your friendship was actually normal, that wouldn’t have mattered one bit. But right then? The tension surrounding him would have been detrimental.

He had something to say; he wasn’t saying it. You were a sitting, fidgeting duck.

Jungkook whipped his phone out to search the internet for a random coin flip generator. “Here. Heads, we do it. Tails, we don’t.”

Yoongi just snickered in defeat and already started picking up his bag. “I call picking first.”

His intuition proved sharp as the generator pulled up Heads: they were going with the random room assignments. Taehyung kicked his head back with a sigh, and Jimin and Jungkook burst into laughter while the elders collectively groaned.

As Rin giggled at their misfortune, you sent a rueful smile Seokjin’s way out of habit. You were still friends, after all, and he seemed so distraught over the prospect of horrid results. His eyes locked onto yours and, for a brief moment, he offered a shy grin in return.

The fluttering in your chest was quickly shooed away.

It was while everyone relaxed around a public lounge area that Jungkook hurled an accusation, his eyes alight with the flames licking the nearby fireplace. “Hyung cheated.”

Seokjin immediately sat up in his plush chair and retorted, “Take that back! I did nothing of the sort. You all were just too lazy to take the stairs to the next floor.”

Taehyung shot him a side eye and shared his own eloquent opinion. “Seems sus.”

A whole new wave of bickering erupted, and you redirected your attention to the snow storm blustering outside tall windows.

You were thanking every deity above that you guys decided to leave in time. It would’ve been hell in the campsite during this weather, or even while squeezed into the cars.

Though the original plans were derailed, you were pretty happy with the current lodging situation. Who knew a small town would have a humongous lodge? It had to be assumed that this was the main business keeping the town running. Rin was absolutely drinking it in and stated she even wanted to bring her family there, her thoughtfulness curving your mouth upwards.

Another good thing that came out of this trip proved to be the room assignments that Jungkook ended up loathing. They had you clutching your sides when all was said and done.

Four of the boys managed to pick the same room, and Hoseok and Yoongi snagged a room to themselves. These results resulted in one Kim Seokjin speeding up and down the hallway, wholeheartedly shouting with glee. Yoongi almost crumpled to the ground in relief at the end, and Hoseok fell over in laughter when he entered the full room. You could feel the desperation in Namjoon’s muffled voice as he begged Seokjin to let him change rooms. The only reply he received was an ominous “If you behave.”

“Don’t blame us,” Yoongi laughed out, both hands lightly gripping the arms of the rocking chair he chose. “This is what you young people get for trying to be cute.” His relief from only having to bunk with one other person left him chipper, you noticed. To his credit, it was amusing that the youngest four ended up in the same room.

“Okay, gramps,” Jungkook snapped, earning a laugh from Jimin on the seat next to him. “But she definitely gave hyung clues!”

You whipped your head around to shoot a confused look toward your accuser. “Me?”

Multiple eyes darted between you two like pinballs, and you didn’t have time to brace for his next words,

“You know you won’t see him again after this trip, so you—”

“—Kook!”

All oxygen abandoned you as Jimin rushed to shut the younger man’s mouth, practically slapping his face. Eyes popped out of his head as Jungkook paled in realization.

The rest of the boys bore glares into the youngest one’s countenance, but Seokjin turned directly towards you with concern.

What just happened? Your fingers gripped the varnished wood of your chair as you slowly locked eyes with your ex, and your heart dropped like a stone when he shifted his gaze to the floor.

What the fuck was happening? Your brain was going haywire. What did Jungkook mean? You wouldn’t see Seokjin after this trip? The man that you couldn’t wait to see on the last Friday of every November? That was bogus. He was joking. It was a joke, right? One more weekend before Seokjin was gone from your life forever? Impossible. Ludicrous.

Why wasn’t anyone saying anything?

Beside you, Rin clutched one of your tense fists in her soft palms. Addressing the group, her sharp tone demanded an answer when she asked, “What the hell is going on?”

The silence that followed was palpable. Not even the pleasant music drifting through the lodge was enough to damper the tension.

“I think,” Yoongi finally murmured, his words ice, “This is our cue to leave.”

“No need,” your friend snipped, “We’ll go.” She whispered your name before softly tugging you to vacate your seat.

When you pried yourself from the cushion, it took a moment for you to control your legs to actually move. You knew all the guys were watching you, but you were too embarrassed to acknowledge them, too upset to look any of them in the eye.

Rin led you away from the lounge, making sure you were heading toward the nearest staircase before spinning on her heel. “To the unfortunate soul that gets to explain this to me,” she bit, clutching everyone’s attention in her underlying threat, “Text me where to meet you in ten minutes.”

Both you and Rin occupied the carpet, backs against the cookie cutter sofa that existed in each room.

You two pushed the furniture around so that the couch faced the windows instead of the plain TV, and you surprised your friend by dumping yourself onto the ground instead of the cushions. Rin didn’t question you, though. She only followed suit.

The curtains were shoved to the side to reveal the relentless storm, and you watched the swirls and streaks of white until your head fell onto Rin’s shoulder.

“I should’ve been paying attention to you,” she murmured, “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, the motion feeling awkward in its tilt. “No, no. You’ve been having a fun time, so I’m happy I didn’t ruin that.” Your laugh was dry. “Until now, at least.”

Rin lowered her shoulder so that you rested more comfortably. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m going through a breakup again.”

Fuck. You didn’t realize until the words left your lips that it’s how you really felt.

It had been a few years since you guys ended things. Throughout that whole time, you didn’t feel awkward one bit.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. The “date” that Seokjin brought to the Christmas party last year made you want to tear your hair out. But, that was because she was obviously after his finances and that was the year you realized you loved him.

The conversation you had with Seokjin turned sour, but you really wanted him to see the big picture. You could still recall that night with clarity, the snow falling much lighter than what you currently witnessed outside.

“Seokjin, do you honestly think she likes you?” The red dress you wore was so vibrant that it glinted off the dinnerware spread across the decadent table nearby.

When you pulled your ex aside that night, the only quiet place you could find was the dining room, long abandoned once everyone got their seconds. Up until this point, it was obvious Seokjin wasn’t understanding you. You tried to tell him how you saw it, and he would just brush things aside.

“You sound like you care more than I do,” he accused, his eyes looking everywhere but your face.

Before you responded, you scoffed. “I’m your friend. Of course I’m going to care.”

You remember the strong emotions you suppressed that night. You couldn’t let more things slip than necessary. Yes, you could show him you cared. Yes, you could show him he needed someone else. Just as long as you didn’t give too much of your own feelings for him away. “You deserve someone that at least likes you, for you.”

Seokjin finally stared back at your stormy features, his eyes filled with something unsaid. You sucked in a breath. What else would he say? You liked him for everything he was, but that relationship didn’t pan out. Obviously. You would’ve been going to this Christmas party together if you still dated.

Maybe you shouldn’t have been having that conversation - it was already hard enough for you to say you were his friend. You wanted to be more than that. Again.

“I know she doesn’t like me,” he finally admitted, running a hand through his bangs. The urge to caress his ever soft strands filled you with grief.

You really did like his hair, and it looked even better when coupled with his Nutcracker-esque attire.

“Then why…” You struggled to find a reason why they were even there together. It was a Christmas party with your friends. Why would he bring someone that he didn’t like?

“She’s interested in Namjoon.” Seokjin’s eyes quickly turned into crescents when he witnessed your expression, and his full lips pursed to contain his laughter. “I was trying to get her off me the whole night, but she was trying harder than she needed to to make him jealous. I’m irresistible, you know.”

“Irritable is more like it,” you growled, playfully shoving him aside. “Ass! I was just trying to protect you and you knew this whole time!”

“It’s nice to know you’re looking out for me!” The man beamed as he made his way out of the dining room.

“Yeah, well,” you whispered, tensing slightly when he stopped. “They have to be perfect. It’s what you deserve.” And you really did mean that.

Seokjin’s smile faltered, and you shot him a half-smile before exiting the room yourself.

That was the last time you guys had an argument, if you could even call it that. The rest of the moments you had with him were completely fine. You wondered if Seokjin could see through you during that conversation. He was perceptive, sure, but you may have gotten away with looking like just a good friend.

It was just worrisome since you couldn’t control your emotions that night. You only got to see him in person during these November trips and Christmas parties when you went home, after all. Seeing him again after realizing you loved him ignited something within you, and it took the whole night to put that fire out.

This looming news just felt way too heavy to handle. Was it because you reached where the sidewalk ended? You weren’t going to see his face in person or hear his laugh out loud. There wasn’t going to be off-the-cuff, awful dad jokes thrown your way every end of November.

A nagging idea, far in the depths of your mind, kept tapping your shoulder. But you brushed it off with a scowl.

Even if you acknowledged the concept, there was no way Seokjin felt the same about you. Neither one of you said you loved each other throughout the time you were dating. Were there times you thought you did? Admittedly, yes. Did you ever think about telling him? Another yes. But he never hinted that he felt the same, so it would’ve been awkward for you if it turned out he didn’t. The absence of a confession kept you from revealing yours. So of course even now, you couldn’t tell him. Especially since he was apparently leaving.

Rin didn’t speak for awhile, but you knew she wasn’t the best at comforting people. She was number one at standing up for you and protecting you, but when it came to the softer parts of consoling, she did flounder. Which was endearing and calming in itself.

“How can I help,” she simply offered, and you nuzzled further into her neck. She always smelled so nice, your guardian Rin.

The adrenaline from Jungkook’s bombshell, your swift exit, and the constant stream of thoughts started to wane. Exhaustion slowly took its place like honey sliding into a jar. Softly, your eyelids drooped and you whispered, “This room is a castle, so be my big bad dragon and don’t let anyone in.”

The last sound you heard before falling asleep was a tinkling laugh followed by a small “As you wish, princess.”

When you regained consciousness, you discovered that you were strewn across one of the beds instead of the ground. You couldn’t even estimate how much time passed while you were out, but the storm outside was still thrashing and the only light in the room was the emergency one by the door.

You groggily propped up weary limbs in search of your phone, eventually swiping it from the nightstand. Still half-asleep, you barely registered the pain meds and glass of water sitting on that same table, their dark silhouettes waiting patiently.

Bright pixels mocked your drool-covered chin. Scrunching your face instinctively, you scrolled through your notifications while blinking sleep from your lashes. You received multiple texts, but you didn’t want to open the threads completely, so you opted to check them from the Home screen.

Jiminie [7:20pm]: Fuck, I’m sorry that happened. Please be okay. Love you.

Tae [7:21pm]: free hugs whenever you need. you know the drill.

Rin-Rin [7:36pm]: I know you said not to let anyone in but I literally couldn’t carry you to the bed. Forgive me!

Yoongi [7:37pm]: He’s in his room. I kept telling him to tell you. I know it’s shit to find out this way so if he doesn’t explain things to you, I will.

Hobi [7:39pm]: we’re here for u love!! let me know if u need anything. there’s a small concession stand downstairs so if u need smth i can run it up!!

Jiminie [7:40pm]: Kook is in bad shape. He swore he thought hyung told you already. Don’t worry tho. I’m not letting him off easy.

Rin-Rin [7:43pm]: Hey, love. Just spoke to Seokjin. I think you need to talk to him yourself, but only if you feel up for it.

Joonie [7:45pm]: I gave Rin a bottle of pain meds we had in our room

Joonie [7:45pm]: Go ahead and take some when you wake up

Joonie [7:45pm]: We can count this as an emergency

Jiminie [8:21pm]: Let me know if you’re okay, okay?

Kook [8:33pm]: I’m so sorry

Rin-Rin [8:48pm]: Grabbing us some snacks from downstairs, I’ll brb.

Your battered heart sank even more when you noticed a distinct absence amongst the names. Seokjin didn’t send you a single message.

What had gotten into him? Did he still not want to talk to you despite you knowing his secret? You clicked your phone shut without opening any of the messages and sunk into the pillows. It was 8:49pm, so you had barely missed Rin’s departure. Her exit was probably what woke you.

Unwittingly, you found your device in front of your baggy eyes again, berating yourself for hovering over Seokjin’s thread. The last text he sent stared back at you in a mocking set of pixels.

Kim JokeJin [Thursday, 9:23pm]: Let’s make this one the best one!

With the previous context, this was just a regular message about the yearly trip. With the right context, these words tied your throat in a knot.

You were sure you loved him, but what you were feeling now was even stronger. If you were honest with yourself, you would say that this is what yearning truly felt like, what something deeper than love felt like.

But you were a fool and a liar, so you convinced yourself it was only because you wouldn’t see him again.

As soon as you were about to give up and lock your phone, the thread updated with a new text from Seokjin, and you stilled.

Kim JokeJin [8:51pm]: You’re probably still asleep, so I don’t want to wake you.

You immediately clicked on his message, your anxiousness protected by the absence of Read receipts. The typing bubble kept popping in and out of the screen and, with bated breath, you waited to see if a second text slid into the thread. A hard exhale whooshed from your throat when the second message came through.

Kim JokeJin [8:53pm]: But I owe you an explanation so come up when you can.

Fingers locked your phone in an instant when the door creaked on its hinges. Rin entered with an armful of chips and various candy bars, and as you started to get up, she tutted.

“Sit down, lady.” Packages crinkled as she dumped them onto your covered legs in a processed, sweet and salty heap. “Did you take the medicine?”

You shook your head, very sure that you looked like a cranky Troll doll.

“Go ahead and eat something really quick so the medicine will work. When you’re awake enough…” Rin’s voice trailed off, but you filled in the blanks yourself. Go talk to him was what she wanted to say.

“Can’t you just tell me what he said?” You were hopeful that Rin would save you the pain of confronting Seokjin yourself. In reality, she denied your request.

“Not this time,” she murmured, “This is something that needs to come from him.”

You figured as much, but it didn’t hurt to try getting out of it. It was a conversation that you both wanted and dreaded to have. Under your goosebumps, your bones trembled.

If you were frightened by the mere gist of it, how were you going to react to the real thing?

The reality was that you needed the closure Seokjin was offering. You didn’t think this vacation - or your friendship, for that matter - could regain normalcy until you had this talk. “Sorry I ruined this trip,” you whispered, playing with a corner of the closest bag of chips.

“I’m sorry, is your name ‘Jungkook?’” Rin laughed. “I’m kidding. It’s not ruined. At the very least, it’s salvageable. Maybe.”

“You should be a weather girl with these confident forecasts,” you joked, coaxing a laugh from your friend. You offered a small smile in return, but your heart wasn’t in it. She kinda forgot that this is the last trip you guys would have with Seokjin. If anything, it was doomed from the start.

Little striations ran across the door greeting you, shallow cuts skirting up and down the frame. You roved your eyes over the rough texture; contemplative, lost in the mahogany brown expanse.

If only you were a sturdy tree. You wouldn’t have to worry about any hard conversations in life. All you would’ve had to worry about was possibly becoming a rickety chair for a spoiled brat, or one of Namjoon’s tables that he would eventually damage and lament over.

With a breath, you finally knocked.

It didn’t take long for Seokjin’s freshly showered form to answer, and when you saw him dressed down to a plain white shirt and black pants, you quickly shifted your eyes to the floor. Didn’t he know that outfit was your favorite? Your weakness?

“Hey,” you simply said. “I’m awake now.”

He nodded and let you in, the door closing with a soft click. When you crossed the room, you stopped in front of the couch, anticipation already caking onto your clothes. There wasn’t much to say on your end, you figured, so Seokjin had to take the lead.

Instead of launching into topic, he walked towards you and grabbed a bottle from his nightstand. “Do you want some water?”

You could only stare at the plastic in question. “Did I come here for water, Seokjin?”

There was a heavy pause before the man planted his offering on the nightstand. “No.” Sitting on the longer side of his bed, he clasped his hands together, blank eyes glued to the floor. “Jungkook is right. I won’t be able to go on these trips anymore.”

“Why?”

“I, umm,” Seokjin answered, his words fumbling, “I kinda got into Harvard Medical School.”

“What?” Your anxiousness was forgotten as you gawked at him. That was what he was holding back from you? All this time? That amazing, fantastic, crazy news? Without thinking, you bounded toward him and crushed him in a hug, careful to not push him back onto the bed. “Seokjin! This is what you couldn’t tell me?”

His arms remained at his sides. When he responded, his explanation bounced onto your shoulder, “I literally won’t have a life once I start. None of you will be able to see this face, isn’t that enough to be sad about?”

Another moment of weakness came over you, and instead of overcoming it, you gave in. Your arms tightened around him and you whispered, “No, I’m so happy for you. You’ve worked so hard…”

There were bags under his eyes for a reason. You knew the nights he got three hours of sleep far outweighed the nights he got more than that. The reason you two didn’t get to see each other was his relentless studying and discipline, and you didn’t want him to have to choose between you and a future career. You both were way too young for those rash decisions.

It was with this memory that you were reminded of why you broke up: you wanted him to focus on his goals and you would do the same. “Really, I’m so proud of you.”

Why you hadn’t let go of him at that point was a mystery to you, but you couldn’t seem to stop. The feel of his body against yours consumed you, held you captive even if his arms didn’t.

But after a moment, you felt strong limbs wrap around your sides and emotion wrap around your throat.

You don’t remember the last time you two truly embraced. It was a given that the last time you did, you were both completely different people. Both so young. Both so naive.

“Thank you,” Seokjin breathed, his head finally a beautiful burden on your shoulder, “But there’s more.”

Tension froze your veins, taking the color from your complexion. Of course there was more. There was no way that was the big reveal, even though it was a monster in itself. “Oh,” was all you managed to squeak out.

Seokjin’s arms gently pushed your body away so that he could look you in the eyes. You already missed his stronghold, but you listened as he spoke. “My parents want me to go back home. To Korea.”

You blinked. “Even though you got into Harvard?”

“No, no, after that,” Seokjin expressed with a level of confidence only he could achieve. Like it was inconceivable that he wouldn’t get his doctorate. He then searched your face, the pause holding weight. “So, I don’t know if I’ll see you guys again.”

The wind howled outside and you shivered as if you were standing out there in the cold. There was so much that you wanted to say, but all the thoughts you had in your head melded together into sludge. Words struggled to leave your mouth. Nothing processed correctly in your brain.

Seokjin wasn’t joking - not this time. He really was going to be swamped in work and work and more work. Even the holidays were going to be crammed, and you were sure he wanted to use those rare rest periods solely to recharge.

Yes, he would still be able to text and call everyone, but that would be the extent of communication. He wasn’t big on social media. Even if he was, there would certainly be a dip in his activity now.

Just like you felt earlier, you really did feel like you were going through a breakup again. Only this time, the last remains of your relationship were at stake.

You didn’t want that.

“We’d still be friends,” you weakly offered, wondering if you were just saying that to convince yourself.

An empty chuckle startled you, and when you looked at Jin, he directed an empty gaze toward his nightstand’s lamp. “Yeah… We’d still be friends,” he repeated, and the way he said that made your shoulders sag. It was almost as if he didn’t believe you.

“But Seokjin… You should be so happy. I mean, you’re incredible,” you whispered, a heavy feeling weighing down your chest.

“What if I’m not?”

You sucked in a breath, suddenly not knowing what to do. Was he saying that hypothetically? No. There wouldn’t be a reason for him to ask if he truly was.

How were you supposed to respond to that? Being a doctor was his goal - you were sure of it. If he got accepted into Harvard of all places, then his future glimmered as bright as his charm. “What do you mean,” was what you decided to say. Because you needed more from him than that.

“You said I should be happy. What if I’m not?”

“This is what you’ve been working towards your whole life!” It didn’t make any sense. None of this was making any sense. Who wasn’t happy that they got accepted to one of the most prestigious medical programs in the world? “You did everything you could, and now you have something to show for it! We even broke up over this. And that’s fine,” you quickly added at the end. You didn’t want Seokjin to feel bad for that at all.

“What I’m trying to say is,” you continued, wanting to get every logical word out before more irrational ones escaped. “You’ve gotten everything you wanted. You deserve to be happy.”

You could feel the doors of your heart scraping shut. Even if you wanted to try to be with him again, you would have to give up on that dream. There was no way it was going to work if it didn’t pan out last time.

Fists clenched, you hated how your heart gravitated towards Seokjin on this damn trip, loathed how your brain produced its own highlight reel. Somehow, they both knew this was the end before you did.

“I don’t have everything I want, but you’re right. I’ll be happy.” He sounded bitter. Why did he sound so bitter?

“What more could you want,” you blurted, the question materializing between the two of you in bold letters. You were just getting frustrated at this point.

This was his dream. The ultimate goal. The one thing he wanted out of life.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.”

“Well, it’s none of your concern.”

“I don’t care if it is or not.”

“You really want to know?” Seokjin shot off the bed, immediately towering over your small stature. As your eyes reached his face, you watched as his lips twisted, your shocked features taking in his frustration. “It’s… It’s love, okay? That might sound weird to you, but I’ve realized that all of this is pointless without it. That’s what I’m missing. I want to love again.” He shoved a hand through his hair, his forehead slightly wrinkling under duress.

The first thing that threw you off was the mere mention of the word. That was so brave of him to even bring it up. With you, of all people: someone he’s dated before. It must have taken so much courage for him to admit that.

But there was another word in there that stood out amongst all the others.

Again. He said again. Did he love someone before? He couldn’t have been referring to what you guys had. You never once said those words to each other while you dated. So who was he thinking of? And why did it hurt to know that he had loved before and it wasn’t you?

“I didn’t know you wanted that,” you replied, your voice painfully small. “But I don’t think it’s weird.”

You wanted nothing more than to just confess to him already, but you had no clue what he would say if he didn’t want something with you. The moment escaped like a thief in the night.

“Ah, well, if you knew the whole story,” Seokjin sighed, his breath shaky, “You would definitely think it’s stupid.”

“Why did it end the first time?” You wanted to get to the bottom of it. Maybe through his explanation, you could find something salvageable. You cared about him - so damn much. Seeing him in a state of utter helplessness seized your heart and gripped it tight. “With the one you… you loved. What happened?”

Seokjin’s indiscernible stare pierced through your soul, his silence screaming that he didn’t want to talk about it.

And you understood his reluctance. The list of activities to do with an ex didn’t include this as an option, either.

You felt the steely aftertaste of guilt on your tongue. Maybe he wanted you to just leave him alone already. Besides, you already pushed him to tell a multitude of truths that night. Asking him about a past love life was most likely crossing the line. “I’m sorry,” you apologized, uprooting yourself from your spot to leave. “You don’t have to tell me. I’ll leave you alone.”

You made it three steps before Seokjin responded, “She decided to end it.”

A vice clamped your chest. You stood in your new spot closer to the door, eyes boring into the floor. “Even though you were in love?”

That must have been awful. If you loved him when you two broke it off, it would have absolutely hurt. Very much like what was happening to you now, in fact. Because fuck, were you absolutely disintegrating like a paper on fire.

“I don’t think she loved me,” Seokjin disclosed, his words tightening the clasp around your lungs. “But I loved her.”

“I’m so sorry, Seokjin.” Tears brimmed across your eyes, but you didn’t want him to see you break. You thrummed with so many emotions in that moment, swept by the current of his words, his heavy tribulations.

He loved someone in the past. You loved him in the present. If only you both harbored a love for each other in at least one point in your lives.

“That must have been hard.”

“It wasn’t, for the most part.” His brittle words crumbled as they appeared. “I saw it coming.”

You chewed on your lip. Seokjin’s confessions were so full of pain - the amount of love he had for this person was obvious. Looking back on your relationship, you remember your split being mutual. It was mutual, right? There weren't any feelings involved. Whichever other situation Seokjin was referring to had to be sometime after you.

Maybe it was someone during his college days. But wouldn’t you have at least heard about them through the friend circle? Their name must have just left your mind. You knew Seokjin flirted a lot but he needed to be serious to really start a relationship. This one just sounded tragic.

“I don’t know what to say,” you admitted sincerely, your chest about ready to collapse, “Other than don’t give up. You can do it. Love again.” The joints in your knees threatened to give out. Telling the one you loved that he could find someone again was too much. Too, too much.

“Ah, yeah. Well.” Seokjin turned away from you in a shrug. Even the back of his profile was perfect. “Thanks for being a good, uh, friend.”

Friend. Could you teleport to your room and stay there? You couldn’t be the one to give him what he wanted, especially since he was about to be gone for a very long time. No matter how much you wanted to. Oh, how you wanted to.

You swung around to face the door once again. Critical words almost freed themselves from your lips, but you held them back, swallowed them down. “I’ll always be your friend.”

Head storming, you commended yourself for keeping your voice level. The tears were able to recede - which relieved you, since you wanted to make it through the rest of the conversation with dry eyes. With one tiny head shake, you whispered, “Let’s get some sleep, okay? I don’t want us to ruin the rest of this trip. Like you said before, we have to make it the best one.”

Seokjin got up and made his way over to you, and you turned around with a fresh face once you knew he was close enough. The smile he wore was manufactured, but you didn’t want to pry. Instead, you repeated your advice as you both approached his door. Because you wanted him to understand. “Seriously. Don’t give up, you hear me?”

“Don’t give up,” he echoed as he pulled on the handle, like you were just giving him directions. He stilled for a moment in deep concentration before looking your way. Dark eyes bore into yours and you could almost hear them speak, but he gave one final nod and vowed, “Okay.”

Little striations met you again when you gave Seokjin’s closed room one last look, and you swore they regarded you with pity. Finally breaking, you let your tears fall the whole way back to your floor, wishing to be made into a sturdy tree in your next life so you never had to feel that way again.

The next morning found all nine friends situated in various places around Seokjin’s room. You thought it amusing that the boys never really settled for normal seats, always choosing a table or windowsill perch instead. As an avid fan of the floor yourself, apparently, you were once again plopped on the ground in front of the sofa. Only this time, you weren’t drowning in the depths of your past.

“Looks like the snow piled up high last night, so we might not be able to use the cars,” Namjoon observed after his long fingers created a tiny crack in the curtains. His argyle sweater blended in with the burgundy fabric and the sight put a small smile on your face.

The action surprised you since you spent the whole night swathed in a blanket of regret, your arms caging your ribs in an attempt to stopper your bleeding heart. If only you were so bold as to allow a confession to fall from your lips. Three words to solve two peoples’ problems.

But the risk involved was too high. The hurt following an unrequited love confession would haunt you through every sunrise and sunset.

Jungkook’s exasperated voice sliced through your thoughts. “What are we gonna do then?” You glanced at him right as he threw himself onto Seokjin’s bed, bouncing the other two occupants like buoys amongst waves.

“What we can do: stay in,” Yoongi responded while repositioning himself against the headboard.

Taehyung’s sigh mingled with Rin’s tsking noise, Jungkook’s deeper groan almost in harmony with the both of them. Their melancholic concerto almost pulled a laugh out of you, but the next suggestion came from Hoseok, “I brought some board games we could play. Cards, too.”

Seokjin quickly shot him a look. “You don’t play board games. Or games. Or cards. Actually, what do you do?”

“I look after all of you.” Hoseok’s head always bobbed when he spoke to accentuate his points. “Hence why I brought board games and cards just in case!”

You couldn’t refute the man’s claims, either. Hoseok always made sure everyone packed what they needed before trips but brought extra stuff in the event that the group needed something else. Helping was just part of his nature. Yesterday was one example. Rin got the snacks last night, but you were sure he would have woken up at any point in time to be your comfort food delivery man. If being a leader were a sport, Hoseok would be the dark horse that you never saw coming until they finished first. Then you couldn’t deny their talent and skill.

Taehyung didn’t let the dark horse live, though. “Thanks, hyung. Did you pack a snowblower, too?”

Rin’s laugh could always be heard amongst your friends, but not because she was a girl. Hers was just so distinct and heartwarming, like a cozy throw or the thought of cookies in the oven. It was only slightly better than Jimin’s.

Speaking of which: Jimin was eerily quiet throughout the whole meeting, his gaze lingering on you more than once. You noticed it ever since you burst into Seokjin’s room and lauded the man’s scholastic advancement. Which couldn’t be helped. No matter how painful last night’s conversation was, you still wanted him to know how proud you were. After all, a person could be sporting a dagger through their heart but still have love to give.

You didn’t know why Jimin was acting strange. The big secret was unveiled but you would come to terms with it. Was he afraid of how you would be feeling? Or was he just sympathizing with you because he assumed you weren’t exactly fine? Talking to him later to iron things out was going to be essential. The multiple glances he threw your way proved too much.

“I have a pamphlet we can look through,” you responded, waving it in the air like a white flag. The decision to bring it just in case proved to be the right one, even if Rin threw a small fit from having to fumble through her bag for the room key again. Warmth from the thick hoodie swallowing both your body and your bent legs validated the first time you went back into your room.

Rin stuck her tongue out at you but smiled right after in her best Sour Patch Kid impression. Cute. You breathily laughed before unfolding the flimsy paper. Shifting your eyes along the colorful pages, you started listing out the lodge activities. “Okay, so we have… Kayaking: no. Lake yoga: no. Mountain biking: no…”

Even though the lodge boasted a huge amount of things to do, the majority of them required there to not be four billion inches of snow outside. Only a few remained, and majority rules determined ski slopes the winner.

The only issue with the slopes was that they only allowed groups of three at a time. To remedy this, groups were formed and a rotation was set based on a heated tournament of rock-paper-scissors. And while Hoseok didn’t play board games, cards, or even video games, he seemed to be a pro at that.

He picked Seokjin and Yoongi for his group, and they were going out first, to the eldest’s horror. You saw his anxiousness coming from miles out - tackling snow with one board was much more up his alley than tackling it with two.

Next, Jungkook chose Namjoon and Jimin since he wanted to somehow “win” on the slopes. They gave him much grief for that.

And that left you with Rin and Taehyung, but they wanted to check out the spa area first, so your group was going to catch up later.

Which wasn’t ideal for you. You wanted to watch Seokjin ski. Or really, you just wanted to see him as much as possible before the trip ended. Seok in his presence, like he said. Maybe being pruny in this case was a beautiful thing.

Room Service knocking on the door interrupted your thoughts, and Jimin let them in to serve the breakfast Seokjin ordered for everyone prior. While the dishes were distributed, the group was already firing bets and insults and digs at each other as if a clear winner would emerge outside. And you welcomed every bit of their energy. Chewing on food while basking in everyone’s competitive nature was enough of a distraction from your woes. At least, until you caught Jimin deep in thought again.

The spa was decent, so you three ended up staying for almost an hour. Both the sauna and facial massage served to ease the thick layer of tenseness under your skin. If only you could transport yourself into a cloud of steam every time you thought about Seokjin. Maybe that would’ve helped with the anxiousness and guilt you felt every time you thought about confessing.

And you were grateful for Taehyung tagging along because he really did offer free hugs often. Even while Rin scanned over the receipt for everything you guys did, the man slung a lean arm around your shoulders.

His voice glided over your hair when he leaned in to ask, “How did it go last night?”

You sighed before responding, debating on how to answer him. You decided to take the easy route. “Good. Better than I expected. I just can’t believe it took him that long to tell me! I was so worried this whole time.”

Taehyung squeezed you gently. “Finally. We kept telling him to just admit it already.”

Rin was in the middle of paying when you smiled. Her hair gleamed in the incandescents, and you reached out to touch it as you admitted, “It’s just weird that he wanted to hide that from me.”

“Well, you’re his ex, so he thought it would’ve been awkward.”

A laugh shot out of you, and Taehyung gave you a look. “Seokjin’s so strange. He knows I’ve been rooting for him this whole time. I mean, Harvard? That’s incredible.”

Normally, friends would converse about achievements and be sincerely happy about them. But something else happened in that moment that set alarm bells off in your head. Whether it was Rin becoming a block of ice in front of you, or Taehyung slowly peeling his arm off of your shoulders, you suddenly got a feeling that something wasn’t right.

When Rin spun around to face you, the expression painted on her face reminded you of those Renaissance pieces you saw during one museum date with your ex. Her eyebrows artfully scrunched; her full lips twisted. Was she on the side of the angels, battling demons? Going to war?

No, she was just trying to clarify something. “He didn’t say anything else?”

You gulped. “I mean, yeah?”

“What did he say?” Taehyung furrowed his dark brows, his own face a work of art in itself.

“That his parents are making him move back to Korea when he’s done with his doctorate,” you revealed, suspicious of the both of them and Seokjin now. You kept your tone level to hide any emotions under the surface. “Why, is there more?”

Once again, you were swept under the wave of confusion. The waters there were dark and cold, and you felt like you couldn’t swim to safety this time. It was as if cotton clogged your ears and a thin film coated your vision. You didn’t even register Taehyung furiously typing on his phone while Rin led you all out of the spa’s reception area.

“Do you want there to be more,” was all she offered before sitting you down on an earthly toned loveseat. The fluffy rug under your shoes snagged most of your attention.

“I don’t know how to answer that, but I guess not,” you finally grunted, feeling angrier and angrier from being left in the dark again. Comparable to a disease, this dangerous feeling was taking over you, trickling into your veins drop by black drop. “Honestly, I kinda just want to go back to the room until we meet for dinner. Whatever you guys are hiding is starting to piss me off.”

“Let’s go,” Rin agreed, urging you to get up and follow her to the room. But you shook her off.

“I’ll go by myself.” Buzzing with anger, you shuffled through your bag to grip your key. “Just let me be alone for a bit.”

Taehyung looked absolutely livid, but he nodded along with Rin. You didn’t watch the two of them share a knowing glance as you drug your crumpling form to the stairs, hoping pieces of you didn’t crumble off before you reached your temporary bed.

From the moment your tired bones hit your comforter, time traveled at a strange pace. You didn’t know how long you spent lying prone on the sheets, your head lolled towards the window. Watching the light snowfall outside did nothing to bring you out of your dark space.

Being left out, confused, and feeling betrayed left you mentally drained. How long were you going to feel like this? Like you were just going to keep being lied to? Maybe you weren’t outwardly lied to, but omitting something was still considered a lie. The truth was still held captive and you couldn’t even pay it a visit.

Rin and Taehyung reacted strongly to what you said. That had to mean whatever else Seokjin was supposed to say to you was big. You weren’t stupid. At least, that’s what you concluded.

But what if you were this time?

You loathed this feeling. You hated being looked at with pity. Even Rin knew what was left unsaid this time, so you were truly alone in the dark.

A dark monster within you rose to life, and you ripped yourself from the sheets. Snatching your coat from the couch, you jerked your arms inside, striding toward your door with purpose. A ball of fury, you were determined to march up the slopes and confront Seokjin. Everything was getting ridiculous.

Tugging the door open, you flinched at the figure waiting on the other side. A brief moment of silence and bewilderment and worry washed over you, quelling a small part of your harbored anger. “What happened to you?”

Seokjin stood in front of you wrapped in his puffy coat, hair in disarray and a small gash on his cheek. His nose was red with the cold and a small cut, and his eyes looked as if he had been holding back tears. Tears? Was he crying? Even now, it seemed like a few were threatening to fall as his gaze lowered. A ghost of a voice wafted from his mouth as he replied, “Jimin.”

You winced. Remembering the glances the younger man gave you this morning, you should have seen a conflict brewing. Your friend wasn’t lying when he said he’d give Seokjin hell. Something must have broken out when they were on the slopes, or anytime you weren’t there with them. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

If you didn’t have that revelation with Rin and Taehyung, you would have been absolutely thrown by Seokjin’s appearance and the cause of it. But it seemed that both groups found out what he told you last night and neither were pleased with the result. What that result was, you couldn’t determine yet. But based on your own categories, “I got into Harvard” and “I’m moving back to Korea” fit in the Should Know box. The Deserved to Know box was still accepting applications.

“Come in.” Your fury had to simmer on a proverbial stove for the time being. “I have a first aid kit in my bag.”

You hurried him into the room before making a beeline for your duffle. The adrenaline built while you were fired up was still thrumming your bones like guitar strings. Nothing more was said as your bag crinkled with your rummaging, even though you wanted to just wring answers from his neck already.

But you couldn’t. You needed a moment to collect your thoughts, both the past woes you were fighting and your current worries.

As Jin awkwardly stood in front of your bed, you kept pondering. What the hell happened out there? How did it end up in a physical altercation? Did Jin fight back? It was already obvious Jimin initiated it, but you wondered if he sported any bruises, too. Not from Seokjin, though. Because you couldn’t ever see him throwing a punch. You were more curious about someone like Yoongi. The elder one was incredibly protective of Jin.

When you found the kit, you spun around to start tending to your ex’s face. “Bed,” you ordered, pointing towards yours with the first aid box. Your tone was harsh, but you weren’t holding it back.

The man was silent as he delicately sat on the comforter, and you instantly noticed how he refused to look at you still.

No matter. Treating his cuts was a priority, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to force him into confrontation right after. Seokjin wasn’t going to have a choice.

Perching yourself next to him, you propped one leg up to steady yourself, clicking open the small kit next to you. It wasn’t as fancy as the one he carried along, but it housed the basics. Fetching some antiseptic and cotton first, you told him to turn towards you so that you could start.

And despite your anger, your exasperation, your frustration, the hands you lifted to Seokjin’s face were nothing but calm.

Throughout the time you dusted his cuts, you kept your gaze on his cheek, his mouth, his nose. A wall erected around you that you refused to take down. After all of the hurt Seokjin had caused, the turmoil he had put you through, it was pertinent you wouldn’t let him in. You had your soldiers’ arrows at the ready, directed right at his wounded face.

But if you so much as flitted your gaze toward his eyes, your walls would crumble to dust. Your gates would slam open in surrender.

Because having him this close to you after all this time was like coming home. And you harbored that feeling ever since the scent of his cologne consumed you. Your face hovered inches from his, your fingers gently pressing his features. All of the nights you yearned to be this close were so lonely and cold, and his warmth was tugging your heart by multiple strings.

His looming absence was hitting you deeply then. If you gave in only to lose him again, the pain would surely hollow out your soul until you were a mere shell of yourself. You wanted nothing more than to sink into the mattress and slip down into the soil underneath the lodge.

Suddenly, a hand cradled your cheek, and you shook on impact. Without thinking, you locked eyes with Jin, and it was then that you realized he was wiping hot tears from your face.

“If I’m the reason for these,” he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Something strangled escaped you, and you finally caved. “You are,” you exhaled, unable to stop the tears from falling. “You really are.”

You tore yourself from the bed, instantly feeling the lingering warmth of his fingers fade. A chasm was created between you two: your chest heaving on one side and his face crumbling on the other. The mountain of thoughts and feelings you created broke down under pressure, emotions roaring down its slopes in a cathartic avalanche. “I’ve been looking like a fool this whole trip, and apparently everyone is feeling so fucking sorry for me. Why can’t you just tell me everything? What did Yoongi mean? What do I deserve to know? You told me you got into Harvard and have the audacity to say you aren’t happy? What the hell is that about? We’re supposed to be friends, so why am I feeling like you’re letting that all go?” You choked on your tears and clasped a hand over your mouth, a burn blossoming in your chest from the dry sobs.

Seokjin’s eyes ringed with a burgeoning shade of pink, both of his pupils glossed in guilt. “I’m not… I’m not letting that go, but--”

“But what, Seokjin,” you gritted out, “Please stop and just tell me already.”

“But I was too scared,” he admitted, “I’m still scared.”

“Why are you scared?” The question drifted to his face, and you could tell he was struggling to answer even that one. It pained you to be this close yet so far from the answer.

“Why are you scared, Seokjin,” you whispered again, realizing that his hands were shaking.

“Because…” You watched as he clenched them on his thighs, and he struggled to get the words out. “Because it’s going to happen again.”

Enough with the obscurity. Frustration reached a boiling point. “What’s going to happen again?”

“Exactly what happened last time!” Seokjin declared as his eyes pleaded with you, eyebrows furrowed and kneeling in anguish. The skin encasing his watery eyes remained that same dusty shade of affliction.

You couldn’t for the life of you understand what he was saying, until you remembered last night. When you asked him about the time he loved before.

Wait.

Your hand made a slow descent from your face as you matched Seokjin’s stare. A million words skittered across your eyes, transforming into liquid and sliding down your skin. You were sure you looked an absolute wreck with your tear-stained cheeks and reddened nose, but that didn’t concern you at all. The only thing you could hang onto was Jin’s words, just short of a confession.

But you had to be sure. You weren’t settling for five words that could mean a thousand other things while arranged the same way. “The one from before,” you more stated than questioned, “Where is she now.”

Seokjin never broke his gaze, doing an incredible job of keeping tears at the edges of his eyes. Heavy breaths caused his chest to swell with each pass. Voice low, he finally, finally caved, “She’s the one on the polaroid I have in my room.”

The entire conversation from last night struck you like a freight train. So many realizations hit you at once and you didn’t know how your trembling legs were keeping you upright.

It was you. He was talking about you.

Your coat smothered your limbs like a cage, your whole being rattling inside like an animal starved.

That was what he was truly hiding from you. That was what he had buried deep down into his chest. And you couldn’t blame him one bit after you realized it was exactly what you were holding from him, too.

No matter the reason, you still kept your own truth hidden. It occurred to you then that you couldn’t be angry - that would just be hypocrisy. There was bravery in confession, and even more so to someone you no longer were allowed to feel that way about.

You were the one that forced the truth out of Seokjin, and now you only felt like a coward.

Movement in front of you snapped your vision back into focus. He was getting up to leave. Why was he leaving?

“I knew this would happen,” he said, his voice strained. “I’ll go. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”

Oh. He assumed your silence was from guilt. Guilt that you didn’t feel the same. And he was about to walk out with that egregious misconception. What an absolute fool.

But no matter how hard you tried, the words wouldn’t budge from the back of your teeth.

You had two choices here. One, you told him. You laid everything out and you admitted that you felt the same. Then tomorrow, he would leave your life and you may not see him again for years. And you tried this before - being in two separate schools and living different lives while holding onto your relationship. It obviously didn’t work last time, and you still saw him from time to time. This situation would be a thousand times harder.

Which brought you to the second option: you let him go. You let him leave without telling him how you felt. Rip the bandage off right there and then. Leave him to pursue his dream, and with that the freedom to go and find someone else to love. Was that what you wanted? Was this your own sick version of loving him? All the villains in the universe would applaud you as you lied to his face while telling him not to give up. How fucking cruel would that be?

“Seokjin,” you called out, and your chest subtly heaved when he turned to stone by the door. His broad back remained still as you took a step towards him, and only after you roamed your eyes over his shoulders did you notice small movements. But he didn’t face you. It was almost as if he didn’t want to.

Agony consumed your entire being as you made your decision.

You shut your eyes, clenched your jittering fingers into hard fists.

“See you at the campfire,” you whispered, your voice unfamiliar even to yourself.

The only response you got was the soft opening and closing of your door.

Compared to last night’s lion of a snow storm, tonight was but a mere cub. There were small flakes here and there taking their time to descend, and the fixtures from inside the lodge were the only light source beside the fire pit you were approaching downstairs.

Situated in the center of your friends, the flames danced across their jovial smiles as they passed bottles around. The drinks weren’t the lodge’s, but the ones you all brought and snuck out of the rooms - the telltale green glass was enough of a hint.

After Seokjin left, it took you a couple minutes to let everything out, and about thirty minutes crying into Rin’s shoulder once she witnessed your crumpled form on the floor. She listened to your recap of the conversation and Jin’s final secret, and through broken sobs you told her you couldn’t tell him yours. When she asked why, you told her your reasoning. When she called you an idiot, you wholeheartedly agreed and cried even harder.

But you still stuck with your decision. It was for the best. You loved him so much that you wanted what was best for him, and that was to let you go.

“Promise me one thing,” Rin murmured, earning a nod from you. “Only go through with it if you know you won’t regret it.”

A sharp pain sliced through you then, but you acquiesced. “I won’t.”

She then grabbed your Polaroid from the bed. It was Namjoon’s idea to bring it to the campfire once he heard you brought it on the trip. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yeah,” you gulped, regarding the old piece of the past with heavy eyes. Seokjin confessed to you with the help of that camera. You weren’t okay with the mere idea of touching it. “Yeah, it’s fine. I want everyone to enjoy themselves tonight, so. Yes.”

Even if that meant you suffered. This was Seokjin’s last trip with everyone, not just you. Why keep them from making good memories just because you were a walking dark cloud?

You reached the bottom of the rickety stairs, the squeaky noises catching the attention of the boys. Most of them raised their bottles to you, but you caught Jin staring at the fire instead.

If you got through this night in one piece, it would be a miracle.

Namjoon stood as you and Rin settled into your seats. “Okay. Since we’re all here now, I say we start.”

As everyone gave their cheers, the eldest just looked confused. “Start what?”

“Something for you,” Yoongi explained, his body already comfortable in his Adirondack. “Since you aren’t joining us for these anymore.”

“Ah, yah,” Seokjin protested, “You don’t need to do anything—”

“Don’t lie, you already love this,” Jimin cut in, all smiles despite the companion bruises and cuts on his face to Jin’s. “Although, your opinion may change in a second.”

Jungkook paused his leg bouncing to shout, “Let hyung explain!”

You smiled as the group settled, but noticed that Jimin was looking at you strangely. You didn’t have time to process it, though, since Namjoon headed things off while a bottle rested against his chest, “Jin-hyung. We just want you to know that we’re proud of you. Even though we may not see you for awhile, you’ll be in our hearts and on our minds. Starting tomorrow, you’re already Dr. Kim to us, so I say we all call you by name tonight.”

Laughter and claps filled the air, drowning out Seokjin’s weak protests.

Namjoon cleared his throat to calm the air, and you watched small flakes catch in his hair as he continued, “We’ll each do two things: give you advice, and ask for advice. Since you’re clearly educated, we figured you’d have a lot to say.”

“Oh, I’m just lucky.”

“And keep sharp, everyone. Miss Photographer over there will be taking pictures.” Namjoon nodded at you, and you gave a short smile while holding up the Polaroid. You were fine doing this; behind the lens was your safe space.

The boys and Rin slowly got through their questions and advice, and you were shocked by how insightful Seokjin was being. You never truly realized the magnitude of his intelligence. Every person around the campfire hung on his every word, and it didn’t help that you all took a swig after every good point he made - many, many times. You diligently fired away on your camera, making sure to get Seokjin with everyone so they could all have a moment captured with him.

When Jimin’s turn came, he shot you a glance before looking at your ex. “Jin. That sounds weird to say. Jin-hyung.” He looked at the ground before continuing, and you knew it was to compose himself. “My advice to you… Sorry,” he buried his head in his elbow for a brief moment. Yoongi looked away.

“I kinda gave you advice already,” Jimin trudged on, “And you took it. So, my next piece of advice would be to, uh, keep going.”

You were rooted to your chair. Seokjin didn’t spare you a single glance during that exchange, but you knew it was about you. It had to be how he ended up at your door earlier. He even said Jimin was the one responsible for his wounds.

“Thank you, Jimin,” Jin replied. “As for my advice to you, it’s okay to let people figure things out on their own. You don’t have to put it on yourself to be the one that keeps people together. If something ends up breaking, you’re going to think it’s your fault.”

Jimin regarded him with watery eyes before nodding and wiping his freezing tears. And when he looked your way, he saw you only looking at Seokjin. Your face was slowly cracking, and the shadows in your facade were exacerbated by the flames.

It was your turn; everyone else went. The Polaroid felt like a boulder on your thighs.

You blinked before setting the camera down and clutching your bottle. Since Seokjin was on the other side of the fire, you had to stand to see him, your tenseness on full display.

What could you possibly say in that moment that he wanted to hear? That he was willing to listen to? You were certain you took his heart and slammed it into the ground earlier. It would be better if you just didn’t say anything.

“Seokjin,” you started, pausing to collect yourself. “My advice to you is to forget the advice I gave you before.”

Several pairs of eyes looked at you then. Even Jin finally regarded you, the most aware of what you were referring to.

“What I’m trying to say is: it’s okay to give up sometimes, because not everything that you want to happen is going to happen. There will be times you will just have to let things go. And that’s okay. Because maybe letting things go would end up for the best.”

Jimin’s eyes bore into your soul. He sat so still that it put all the statues throughout history to shame.

Seokjin grabbed his bottle with both hands, elbows resting on his knees. “Interesting advice.” His eyes danced as they took in the warm flames. “I might even follow it.”

Both of your lungs threatened to give out at his words. Your hands almost dropped the glass you were barely clinging to, but you never looked away from Jin. It was as if your attention was chained to his body, your soul weighed down by his earlier confession and now his possible break.

If he followed your advice, shouldn’t you be happy? It’s what you wanted in the end, right? You would let him go, and he wouldn’t look back.

Snow drifted onto everyone’s chairs and the fire crackled in front of you. A small breath left you in a wisp of white. Warmth did its best to help you, but the cold was too strong. No amount of fire in the world could melt your icy conscience - you truly left Seokjin in the dark. He practically admitted that he loved you, and in return you gave him nothing. Of course he would consider your advice.

“But I like the sound of not giving up. It has a ring to it that exists beyond the sound it makes when someone says it,” he cut himself off, the silence deafening. Inside, bells rang in your head. What was he implying? Seokjin’s voice was as clear as blue skies when he continued, “So, I guess I’m stealing your advice and giving it to everyone here.”

Your gaze shifted to the side as everyone turned towards Seokjin. This was something you weren’t prepared to digest. Settling back down into your chair, you tried to even out your breathing and neutralize your shaking fingers.

Your feelings were warring with each other in a confusing battle. If you wanted him to follow your advice, why were you relieved when he said he liked not giving up? Did that mean you hoped he still waited for you? Years and years and years from now?

“Take it from me: don’t give up,” he advised. “But what I mean by that is to not give up until you’re happy.”

Guilt squeezed your eyes shut, clamping your lids down. He was going to wait. Love was the one thing he wanted to be happy. And you held your love for him tightly in your hands, behind your back and hidden from sight.

But even still, in the midst of your silent rejection, this man wasn’t letting go. Without saying the words, Seokjin was going to wait for you. Because he still loved you.

This was too hard.

“To being happy,” Jimin boisterously cheered, startling everyone and causing your bones to rattle. His glass remained high in the air, and everyone joined in with their own proclamations.

“To being happy,” you whispered alongside the others, quickly taking a swig.

Yoongi was the next one to pipe up as he declared, “Okay, now that all that’s done, let’s just drink for fuck’s sake.”

Amongst the laughter and “thank god”s thrown about, you quickly downed the rest of your drink like it was your lifeline. You needed more than liquid courage to get through the rest of the night. The camera by your feet was snatched up by Jungkook before Taehyung could get to it, and you prayed to every higher power that they kept it in one piece.

As everyone made their way back to their rooms, you noticed Seokjin joking and laughing with the others like normal. It was a continuation of the rest of the night, since after the advice conversation it was nothing but fun. Your Polaroid almost ran out of film, for one, but watching everyone fight over the photos was entertainment in itself. There were digs toward Jin until he turned red, jabs thrown at Jimin’s fragile emotional state, and Rin’s warm laughter coating everything in a soft glow.

And it was a bittersweet event. There was nothing more you wanted than to capture that moment and place it in a snowglobe. The world wouldn’t interfere with your friends, and none of you would ever leave.

Seokjin was about to head up the stairs to tuck in for the night. Full of soju and stupidity, you blurted, “Leaving already?”

He stilled before turning toward you. “Oh. Yeah.” He regarded you with a look you couldn’t completely decipher. “Long day tomorrow.”

“Right,” you replied, hating the sudden hollowness you felt. Or didn’t feel.

“Well… Good night.” Seokjin tapped the banister twice before heading up, and you softly wished him good night before speedwalking to your room. You were only tipsy, so the fast trip didn’t bother you. The camera in your hands kept your center balanced the whole way back.

By some strange miracle, you kept it together the whole time after everyone’s campfire speeches. You imagined yourself as an ice sculpture, surrounded by the guests of honor. Everyone gave you a glance and thought nothing else of you. They could only see composure and poise. Only when they got closer could they see you slowly melting, rivulets of remorse cascading down your entire frame.

Rin was in the middle of her skincare routine when you entered your room. As soon as she heard your footsteps, she made a noise indicating she had something to say. The product around her mouth didn’t let her yet, though. Which meant you had to wait.

You stood in the doorframe of the bathroom, vision spinning just a smidge. This was probably a talk you didn’t want to have, but you gave your friend her podium. It was only fair. Her serious talks were few and far between.

But she didn’t have much to say when she finished getting ready for bed. In fact, she only said three sentences.

“It’s 11 o’clock,” she stated plainly, her tone indicating she was done with the calmer approach. Bluntness was more her style.

“Okay?”

“We leave at 7 in the morning.”

“And?”

“It means you have eight hours to decide how you’re going to feel for the next ten years.”

Silence.

All you could respond with was silence.

Dead air. Sober. You were sober now. In that moment, you may have held your breath for a century. Too many thoughts flooded your brain, from past memories at a carnival to future images of an empty apartment with a bed fit for one.

It was stark. Blank. There wasn’t going to be a future with Seokjin, no matter what you said.

But when Rin put it that way, would you feel better if he knew the truth? Or would you keep this idiotic stance and lock your feelings away forever?

For the third time that night, your fingers rattled. Rin took them into her comforting palms.

“Go,” she murmured, and she smiled as she witnessed you burst into the hall.

Your strides were incredibly long as you hurried down the corridor. The doors blurred on either side of your vision, the pattern of the floor elongated with your fast pace. Your camera thudded into your chest over and over. Step after step after step got faster and faster as your anxiousness bubbled into your brain. The last turn before the stairs made you skid, and you rushed up the rickety steps. Your heart was thrumming, scratching at your chest to set it free.

When you got to his door, you were certain you woke sleeping neighbors with your rapid knocking. But you couldn’t stop yourself. Nothing could possibly stop you now.

You had no plan. There wasn’t time to think. All you wanted was to see him. All you could think about was letting everything out. Eight hours. You had eight hours.

Seokjin tugged the door open, pausing mid-swing when he saw your face. He looked so beautiful. Full of warmth. Like home.

“Jinnie.”

You didn’t mean to call him that, but you didn’t take it back. You weren’t taking anything back anymore. His eyes roamed over your features multiple times, searching for any indication that this was a dream. But it wasn’t. The words finally slipped from your lips.

“I’m not following your advice. Or my own.”

His eyebrows furrowed, but you pushed on.

“I’m giving up. But I’m giving up because I can’t let you go.” When Seokjin stared at you, it was impossible to look away.

His response came out in a rush, “What are you… what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you.” You huffed out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Damn it, I— I just love you. I love you so much it hurts.”

A shaky exhale left you at the look on his face. The quick descent into realization formed in the corners of his eyes, tears pooled at the edges before quickly streaming down his cheeks, collecting at the crux of his chin. Glassy orbs bore straight into your soul in search of answers, of truth. And if he wanted those answers, you already admitted the biggest one, so words were easier to come by.

“I’ve felt this way ever since our trip last year,” you started, slowly inching toward the wreck of a man. Not like you fared any better with the streaks forming on your own cheeks. “And I know it’s the stupidest thing to tell you now since you’re leaving, and we failed at long distance before, but--”

Seokjin breathed out your name, and his next words would stay imprinted in your mind forever. “I still want to try. And I’ll try as many times as you’ll let me.”

“I know. I know that now,” you whispered.

Passion and warmth bloomed in your chest, spiraling out into the far reaches of your limbs. Hundreds of nights imagining him accepting you again didn’t prepare you for this feeling. Nothing was holding you back; your walls came crashing down.

You finally broke and shielded your face in your hands, and you felt sturdy arms shield you from the world. The cruel, beautiful world that brought you two together right before he disappeared from your life again. You cried, and sobbed, and wheezed. The elation from his confession only magnified the pain of his departure.

You felt the weight of the Polaroid leave your chest as Seokjin lifted it from your neck. “Come inside,” Seokjin whispered into your hair, earning a hiccup from your chest. “Please.”

It was only then that you noticed you were still out in the hall. A small nod from you was all he needed to guide you into his room, and your throat constricted at the bags lying open on the bed.

Seokjin was already packing. Packing while thinking he was going to go through the same thing he went through last time. You felt absolutely sick. How could you even think of doing this to him? If there was a way to make it all up to him, you would do it. “I didn’t want to tell you before,” you confessed, burying your nose into his chest. “But that was wrong of me. You almost left without knowing. I’m so sorry.”

Strong, lean fingers traveled through your hair as your camera was placed on a table. The heavy clunk it made reached your ears, and a whisper followed. “I didn’t want to tell you, either. You don’t need to apologize.”

“If I told you earlier, we would’ve had more time. Now I’m just sad.”��

“Look at me.” Jin caressed the back of your head, naturally lifting your gaze. His watery eyes took yours in, and he leaned forward to kiss the top of your hair. “We still have tonight, so if we’re going to be sad, let’s wait until after.”

“But you’re crying, too,” you observed, feeling slightly better from his words. How Seokjin was able to have that effect on you, you would never understand.

A light huff from him made you melt. “That’s because I’m so happy,” he confessed, softly laughing again and wiping his eyes with both hands.

He was happy. Seokjin was happy. You looked at the growing smile under his fingers, and you had no choice but to grin and join in his laughter.

Not because it was funny. But because it was unbelievable. You were able to gift him the last piece he was missing - he was finally able to find that happiness. How were you about to deny that from him? Now it seemed unfathomable.

When you looked at his hands again, you noticed there were lingering cuts. Worry washing over you, you cradled one in your palms and asked as Seokjin looked at you, “Should I take care of this, too?” Though the man had more than enough knowledge on playground injury care, you still offered because you wanted to be there for him in any possible way.

He replied instantly, “I took care of everything. Jimin, too. You saw him being his usual self earlier.”

“He said he’d give you hell if you didn’t talk to me on this trip. I didn’t think he would go this far, though.” You reached up to run a thumb along the small gash on Seokjin’s cheek, the blood drying into a deep red. “I’ll make him regret it later.”

Jin leaned into your touch, causing sparks in your skin. “Don’t,” he whispered, “He’s the reason I ended up at your door.”

You just nodded and lost yourself in the feel of his soft face. It was incredibly smooth under your fingers, even better than when you held his cheeks all those years ago. To think that this man loved you ever since then, and continued to do so until now, was unbelievable. But it was true, and no amount of words could account for how you felt about that.

Those eyes overflowing with adoration and affection were solely for you, and diving into them felt like being immersed in sunlit waters.

“Can I kiss you?”

The simple question took you by surprise, but you gazed at his lips. They only looked inviting, so who were you to deny him? “Please,” you sighed, and your eyelids closed shut at his pillowy touch.

Color sprang from your heart at his confession, but heat burst from your chest at his kiss. The moment his lips met yours, every worry wrapped around your conscience snapped in two. Vines of doubt, regret, and anxiety withered under the warmth of Seokjin’s touch. It was cleansing. Powerful. Searing.

A hand captured the back of your neck, and Jin took advantage of your gasp by dragging his tongue around the edge of your lips, a wordless plea to let him in. You gave in immediately, leaning forward and deepening the kiss, roping his tongue and eliciting a groan.

Heat rushed between your legs and you echoed his sound with a soft moan of your own. Unwittingly, your hands found their way to Seokjin’s chest and you reveled in the feel of him under the thin material of his shirt. Without breaking your lips from his, you skirted the cotton hem with your fingers.

Jin knew what you wanted, and his grin against your mouth only made you flush with desire. He broke from your lips to fully remove his shirt, and seeing his bare chest wiped the air from your lungs. You could only stare as you took in the lines of his solid build, wondering how the hell he had the time to achieve that look.

Seokjin smirked at your reaction, tossing his top and hauling the bags off his bed while you were taking time to process everything. “Do I need to charge you?”

You shook your empty head like a zombie. Your brain was currently mush, purely focused on the way his muscles rippled and slid against the confines of his skin. “No, don’t. I didn’t bring any money with me.”

Laughter erupted from the other side of the bed. After Seokjin placed the last bag on the floor, he straightened and clarified, “I meant plug you in. You seem to be buffering over there. Low battery?”

“Shut up and get on the bed,” you teased, shrugging off the coat you still had on. You didn’t even get to change since coming in from the campfire.

“Shut up and get on the bed, yes,” Seokjin fired back mercilessly as he sat on the comforter. He knew exactly how to push you. Even though you laughed, you made you way over to him and stood between his legs.

You were silent then. No matter how happy you were, his departure tomorrow was weighing on you. The time you had with him was short.

You wanted to make the most of it. Bringing your hand up to his face, you made sure to lightly skim over his gashes before mapping the rest. You wanted to ingrain every curve, every dip, every feature into memory. Every second was precious. The polaroid you had of him would still be no match for the real thing. If only you could capture the warmth of someone and keep it frozen in time.

Sure fingers clasped your hand, and Seokjin softly pulled you closer. Your first instinct was to rush in and hug him for dear life, and he immediately did the same to you, snatching the breath from your lungs and tugging tears from your ducts. You buried your face into his neck, inhaling his familiar scent and lamenting all the time you spent worrying over the smallest things.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” Seokjin whispered, squeezing your heart.

“I know,” you choked. You didn’t have much else to say.

“I just want to make sure we use it to do what you want.”

You loosened your hold on him, astonished by his consideration. The growing bulge under his pants was more than screaming his wants. You felt it ever since the first kiss. But even still, he wanted to accommodate you. Your needs before his.

It just made you fall for him even more.

Reaching down to skim your fingers along his cock straining against his pants, you hovered your lips over his neck. “I want you,” you whispered before descending upon the smooth expanse of skin and earning a groan.

Without warning, Seokjin tightened his arms around you. In one smooth motion, he effortlessly lifted you to straddle his thighs. You didn’t have time to think as he followed up with grabbing your head, pulling you down for another heated kiss. Your fingers latched onto his shoulders, scraping them when he thrust his tongue into your mouth.

“Don’t do that yet,” he grunted, and you didn’t need to ask why after feeling a twitch in his jeans.

You obeyed for the time being, cupping his neck with both hands. When you rolled your body against his, the hard feel of his stomach made you whimper. It was when you settled back on his hardness that your eyes widened. You were sure he was aching despite his silence. Maybe you could help him out a bit. “Jinnie,” you whispered, a firm hand on his chest, “Lie back for me.”

“I love hearing that again,” Seokjin admitted through a content smile, starting a fire across your cheeks. He leaned back after giving you another peck, and you plucked yourself from his thighs to take your shoes off.

But time was your biggest motivator to strip most of your clothes at that moment - not just your boots. Your pants were first, followed by your sweater, and finally your shirt. The whole time, Seokjin stayed propped on his elbows, watching you intently. He couldn’t hide the adoration in his eyes even if he tried. As he watched you stand there in nothing but your set, he smiled. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you whispered in return. “Still not as great as you, though.” You started unbuttoning his jeans before he could defend his stance, and he lifted his lower body to help you shrug them off with his underwear. When Seokjin’s thick cock sprung free, your heart jumped at the sight. It had been so long since you felt it, tasted it, rode it. Was he thinking the same? Taking his velvety length in your hand for the first time in a long time, you felt a burst of confidence at its familiarity and his response.

“Baby,” he groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Please.”

You didn’t need another word. At the sound of the familiar pet name, you already started hovering over his cock, admiring how pretty it was before diving in. Licking around the head, you used the slick to glide your mouth far down his shaft, rolling your hand along the bottom to coat the rest.

Seokjin jolted at the sudden pleasure, and you felt a pang in your heart. You wanted him to remember this night. And you were much more experienced than you were before, though you would only get so much time to prove your growth.

Coming up for air, you used your hand to gather the rest of your spit and slide it down his cock, rubbing it a few times before diving down again. The stilted, garbled noises coming from your filled mouth were even getting your own underwear soaked, but they weren’t a match for Seokjin’s. His delicious grunts and moans sent you close to the edge. They were deeper than you remembered, and he wasn’t one to shy away from showing you how turned on and pleasured he was feeling.

The prominent veins of his cock were the roads along which your tongue traveled, and you made sure to love them all in between stuffing him fully in your warm mouth. He was so big, but you wanted to take every inch, tears welling in your eyes with your efforts.

You fought through even when you felt him rock the back of your throat. Seokjin took that moment to sit up, causing tears to leak fully down your cheeks at the deeper thrust. His hands dove into your hair, but he didn’t force your head down. Instead, they tugged you off his cock, and he gazed down lovingly at your wrecked expression. Jin’s voice dipped an octave and came out coated in sin as he asked, “Can you go a little more for me, beautiful?”

Your body tingled on instinct. You nodded and, when he smiled, you gripped his drenched dick in your fingers before descending your mouth onto his balls. Seokjin bucked his hips forward in a jolt as you grinned, lapping at his salty skin and delighting in the tremulous groans rolling down your back. Your hand squeezed the tip of his shaft before you straightened again, taking his cock captive without pause.

“Shit,” he grunted, his long fingers diving into your hair. His hands still didn’t push you down further, oddly, so you took the initiative and plunged down yourself.

The feel of his cock in your mouth was so familiar. It was almost second nature how easily you sucked him off, knowing when to hollow your cheeks and pull him further down the abyss of ecstasy. When to sink further and hum, ripping a delicious sound from his throat. Even when to bob and swirl your head around, effectively shutting down his ability to function.

It was then that you chose to really bring it home. You breathed through your nose as you took more and more of him in, even after you couldn’t breathe anymore. You felt your nose hit this pubic bone, and the long moan you got from Seokjin was worth the burn in your throat. His fingers tightened around your head, but when you came up gasping for air he didn’t stop you.

“Come here,” is all he said, tugging you up to straddle him again. A trail of saliva swung from your lips as you came up, but you paid it no mind. If anything, it added to the building lust inside your bones. Your panties were absolutely drenched by now, so dragging your core along Seokjin’s cock caused both of you to twinge. “Fuck,” he gasped, fueling your heat.

“Jinnie, please,” you whimpered, your voice hoarse. You wanted everything from him at once. You were getting impatient, and the overwhelming time pressure was stressing you the hell out. “I need you, please.”

Suddenly, everything stopped as Seokjin cradled your chin and swiped the spit from your lips. “You have me,” he assured you. “You have all of me.” He kissed your nose. “And you’ll have me for a very long time.”

Relenting, you leaned into his touch. “Now is what I’m concerned about.”

“I know,” he agreed before kissing you again. “I just wanted you to know the rest.”

“Okay,” you whispered before capturing his full lips with your own. When you felt him wrapping his arms around you, your heart leaped into your throat. When you felt him shift the both of you to lower you onto the bed, you already knew fresh tears were waiting behind your eyes.

With great care, Jin slipped your underwear off your smooth legs. Your bra was deftly unhooked next - not without an eyebrow raise from you and a wink from him - and tossed from the bed.

Staring at your naked form, Seokjin appeared completely lost in thought. It got to the point where you felt like covering yourself, but when you attempted to he swiftly denied any insecurity. “Don’t keep this from me,” he whispered. “I want to remember everything.”

You kept it together until then. Something in you broke and you softly choked on a cry. So he was thinking the same as you. This was the last night for a long time.

Starting from your shoulder, he kissed his way down along your neck, your collarbone, your chest. Taking one breast in one hand, he swirled his tongue around the nipple of the other. You gasped from the sudden burst of pleasure, which made Seokjin repeat the motion on the other side. He then lightly sucked on the nipple, releasing it with a small pop.

You wanted to close your eyes and lose yourself in the waves of pleasure he was giving you, making his way down your body. But you wanted to relive this night again and again. So you had to keep your eyes on him. Only him. His mouth’s searing heat as it kissed along your stomach, and the stark cold left behind when he moved on. His soft touch as he gently pried your legs open, and dark, lust-filled eyes as he stared at your dripping entrance. You wanted to remember the way he kissed along your legs, nipping in some places to make you gasp. The way his beautiful lips connected with your heat in a reverent kiss before his tongue explored inside. Each flick of his tongue, squeeze of his fingers on your legs, noise from his lips. How you loved him through every second of him worshipping you.

As soon as he brought his fingers up to caress your folds while sucking on your clit, you had to stop him. It was too much. You wanted to feel him when you broke.

Seokjin wordlessly obeyed as he crawled above you. You pulled him down for a kiss, not caring how he tasted. Your hands then went to his shoulders as he positioned himself at your entrance.

“Are you still…”

“Yes,” you nodded, touched that he remembered. “I’m still on it.”

“Okay.” He swooped down to capture your lips, and when you clenched your fingers around his shoulders, he grunted. “Are you okay to take it all?”

“Go slow. For now,” you said, earning a nod. “It’s been awhile.”

Seokjin’s gaze was heavy as he prepared himself. “Same.”

At the initial push, you whooshed out a gasp. It had been way too long since you’d been with someone. The intrusion indeed hurt. Maybe you should have let him prep you more, in hindsight. But Seokjin was nothing but tender as he waited for you to adjust. Once you were okay, he steadily pushed out and in again, going deeper. Slowly but surely, you were able to fully take him in.

And the feel of him completely inside you was nothing like you’ve felt before. It was comfort. It was home. It was a perfect fit, and you wanted to stay like that forever.

“God,” Seokjin groaned, “I don’t want to leave this room.”

You chuckled, rolling your hips. “Hmm, pussy or Harvard. That’s a pretty tough one.”

“If it’s yours, Harvard can wait,” Seokjin grunted before sending your thoughts spiraling with a huge thrust. You outright whined at him, but he pulled out only to spear you again with one long motion. “You still like it rough, baby?”

Chills cascaded down your spine and pooled at the apex of your toes. This was the Seokjin you were waiting for. You wondered if he was still into that after witnessing everything he was doing for you beforehand. But oh, were you ready for the pivot. “Fuck, yes,” you moaned. “You know I do.”

“You still have your word?”

“Carousel, yes.”

“Good girl.” That was all Seokjin needed. Grabbing the top of the headboard behind you, he launched into a rough and relentless pace that had you seeing stars. You felt so full, yet so weightless as you let your body go limp. The feel of Seokjin’s cock slamming into you repeatedly would continue to exist for months after tonight, the ridges of it sliding along your walls never forgotten entirely. You needed as much as he could give, and he knew that.

Gripping one of your legs, he hauled it over his sweat-slicked shoulder and tilted himself to reach a deeper position, twisting his reddened face to plant kisses on your ankle. Mewl after mewl tumbled from your lips at the deep thrusts.

“Touch yourself for me, baby,” Jin commanded while still pounding into you, and you wouldn’t dream of disobeying. Your fingers went straight for your jiggling breasts, teasing your nipples and tugging them for his blown out eyes. You moaned, and smirked when you saw Seokjin beginning to lose himself.

His tell was his scrunched eyebrows, and his eyes shifting down to watch his cock ram into your tight cunt. You still knew, after years.

You fell into complete ecstasy when he reached down with his free hand to rub your clit between your bodies, loving the way the veins in his arms protruded. Imagining licking along them all made you moan. And you didn’t care if the people around you heard. All of your mewls, moans, whines - they were all for Jin. He could have all of you again and again.

After one particularly deep thrust, he tugged his cock out, leaving your walls fluttering around an agonizing emptiness. “Turn around. On your knees.”

“Holy fuck, yes,” you rasped. He wasn’t letting the night go to waste at all.

Before you even assumed the next position, you felt a hand come down on your ass. The smack jolted you forward in pain, with pleasure settling in its wake.

“So pretty,” Seokjin whispered, ghosting his hand over the spot he spanked. He gave it another smack before gripping your ass cheeks apart. You assumed he was roving his eyes over your drenched core. “And still so wet.”

“Just for you,” you affirmed.

“Just for me,” he repeated before adjusting his knees on the bed to get closer. “But you might be too loud tonight, baby. I’m going to need silence from you this time.”

Shit. You were never, ever good at this part. But you nodded. What you weren’t expecting right away was the initial stroke to be rough, right down to the hilt. You cried out immediately, earning you a harsh spank.

Seokjin’s sudden laugh made you chuckle in embarrassment. He breathily joked, “Out of practice?”

“Something like that,” you admitted, your elbows and grin lost in the sheets. “I’m rusty.”

“Okay, let’s just do this then.” Jin leaned forward, stretching over you. You groaned at the feel of his solid chest on your soft back, your eyes rolling into your head feeling him completely mold into you for a moment. He got a fluffy pillow from the other side of the bed and let your head rest on it. “Can you bite this for me, my love?”

The new name spread wildfire across your face. “Yes. That I can do,” you assured him. When you had the material securely in your mouth, you nodded to signal he could continue.

“Good girl.” And continue Seokjin did. He went right back into the dominant Jin he loved being, and the one you loved being with. There was no mercy in his thrusts, stroke after stroke after stroke. If you lifted your back a little or lowered your butt, he smacked your supple flesh and corrected you instantly. “Ass up, baby.”

With Jin’s relentless pace, your body went limp and hung on by a thread. Loosening up allowed for even more of his cock, and your muffled moans started getting louder the closer and closer you got to the edge. You could feel your core tightening, threatening to unleash the pent up tension.

“That’s it, beautiful,” Seokjin praised, feeling your walls squeeze around him. “Do you want to come like this?”

You hastily shook your head. You wanted to see him when you came. And if you remembered correctly, he loved seeing your face when it happened, as well.

“Too bad,” he chuckled darkly, and you almost came undone right then. “Guess you’ll have to come again the way you want to later.” Reaching under you, he toyed with your clit as he kept the pace from behind.

You let go of the pillowcase as you kicked your head back in a moan, your saliva trail slowly gravitating toward the sheets. Seokjin only let you breathe for a second before pushing your head back down into the thin material. “Make noise again and you won’t come at all.”

Fuck. You bit hard into the pillow, tears forming at the corners of your eyes as you felt yourself losing control. His fingers felt divine on your bundle of nerves, his dick sliding through your folds over and over and over. The hand he placed on your head smoothed over your hair before bunching it and tugging. You reared back, dots swimming in your vision. “God, I want to choke you. Can I do that, my love?”

You released the pillow from your mouth again. His consideration was top notch tonight. Too much? You couldn’t decide or really care. “Yes, just do it. Do anything. Please. I’m so close.”

“Mm. Then cover your mouth.” Before you could follow his command, Seokjin pulled you up by a shoulder to be flush against his front. Sweat coated your back and your ass, causing you to slide down his chiseled stomach while speared on his cock. A strong hand wrapped around your throat, and the fingers that were teasing your clit mercilessly now ventured into the front of your folds.

One of your hands shot up to clamp over your mouth right before you let out a long groan. You loved when he took control, and when he lost control. If both happened at the same time, it was heaven.

You could barely last on your knees as his dick slammed up into you repeatedly. The hand around your airway was tight but only just, his praises in your ear being the real culprit of your stolen breath. Your pussy clenched harshly around his length, and you knew from the tight coil in your body that you were seconds from euphoria.

Seokjin felt it instantly. “Come, baby.” And as soon as he relinquished your throat did you give in, waves of pleasure coursing through you and a white burn shimmering in your lungs. It seemed endless. Ripple after ripple thrummed through your body, your joints slowly unlocking from their initial freeze. Behind you, Seokjin groaned and sang sweet nothings in your ear, his arms wrapping around your chest in a scorching embrace.

The high ebbed, but did not completely recede. You knew Jin still needed release, so you kissed his wrist next to your shoulder and whispered, “I want to see you now.”

“Whatever you need.” Seokjin slowly unsheathed himself, and you felt a slight pain. You watched as he positioned his back on the headboard. He knew what you wanted to do.

You made your way over to him and hovered over his length. Locking your hazy eyes with his dark set, you kissed him lazily as you languidly sank back onto him. Seokjin groaned when you didn’t use your hand as a guide beforehand. And frankly, that turned you on, too.

“You’re so tight still,” he grunted, his hands coming up and grabbing your ass before settling on your hips.

You rolled your hips before finding a rhythm. “You’re just big,” you mock complained, earning a deep chuckle.

“Aww. You sound. So. Sad,” he teased, thrusting up into you to punctuate each word. Your mewls were welcome now since he was done with his role. Now he could just sit back and enjoy your show for him. And occasionally torture you.

You found your rhythm again, rougher with him now with your hands in his dark, sweaty locks. One of your hands dropped onto his chest and raked down his breast, eliciting a higher moan than normal.

The sound caused heat to pool between your legs again, and you upped the pace. Your thighs burned from the exertion, but you kept yourself distracted by diving into Jin’s neck and nipping in multiple places. His arms left your hips to wrap around your back, and your breath faltered as he took over again.

Seokjin was close. He was always close when his limbs locked hard into place. His upward thrusts were fast and hard, and you could only moan in his ear and take him in. The coil that released once tonight was tightening again, and you murmured in his ear that you were close.

Seokjin only needed to kiss you like his life depended on it for you to unravel again. The wave was weaker than last time, but it could still cover mountains. Your head felt light, dancing above the clouds with no intention of coming down. You pushed yourself from his lips, allowing him to see your flushed chest and reddened cheeks. The second orgasm faded and loosened your limbs, but your heart felt completely connected to his, your soul nestled into the comfort of his tender embrace. “I love you,” you sighed, and you immediately felt a huge twitch between your folds.

“Lie down, baby. I’m close.”

“It’s okay,” you whispered, cradling his cheek. “Come inside me, Jinnie. I wanna feel you.”

“Shit,” he grunted. His thrusts descended into madness. Your heart rattled at the sight of his dusted red cheeks, sweaty neck, heaving chest. He was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen, and the one you would overturn stars to find should you ever lose him again.

When he gazed down at your joined sex, you took in the wet strands of hair on his forehead. When he kicked his head back against the headboard to look at you with lidded eyes, you bit your swollen lips. This wonderful man was your lover, your ex, your friend, and now your lover again. Only this time, you truly loved him back. And you wanted to think back to this moment forever.

Tears sprung into your eyes as he pulled you in for a searing kiss, and his orgasm released into you in spurts. The thrusts he made then were slow and powerful, and your body bobbed with the swells. You kissed him harder than necessary, almost willing to bruise your own lips on his. The longer you held his lips captive, the longer he couldn’t see your sorrow.

But Seokjin already felt the drops ping his chest. He just let you cry because that’s what you needed. Even when he broke from the kiss, he never said a word. He trailed kisses along your wet cheeks, your sweaty nose, and your glistening forehead. His poignant visage held nothing but stars, and it reminded you of the night you fell in love, crushing your spirit ever more.

Touch after touch after touch only coaxed more tears from your eyes. It felt never ending as you sat spent in his lap, still on his softening length. Sheer willpower was what caused you to finally speak, your voice hoarse, “We should clean up. You still need to pack and sleep.”

“We should, and I do,” he whispered. He patted your bum. “Can you get up by yourself?”

You nodded before extracting yourself from his firm thighs, lamenting the fact that human bodies had limits. As you waddled to the bathroom, you stumbled along the way, Seokjin softly chuckled while following you and steadying you when needed. Even when you shot empty glares at him, the smile in his eyes never left.

The rest of your time spent in his room consisted of silence and kisses. Ever the gentleman, he let you lie down on his bed while he used the other half for the bags to pack. It didn’t take him too long since he was organized from the jump, so when he was done he cleared the bed and joined you under the covers. When you felt a weight on your stomach, you looked down to see your camera dumped on the comforter.

Seokjin wrapped a strong arm behind your neck. “What do you call naked pictures taken with a Polaroid?”

“Oh, no.” You turned your head to face him. “What?”

“Just pictures. But that’s old nudes.”

You punished him by attacking his sides instantly, yanking a batch of honky laughs from him. Knowing your own weaknesses still, he unleashed his own parry, and it took a minute for the both of you to settle in a draw.

“Don’t tell me the only reason you brought this into the bed was to tell that horrid joke,” you chuckled, your head back to resting in your pillow.

“Nope. I wanna take one of us.”

After getting past all seven of your objections and excuses, Seokjin whittled your walls down and got you to agree. The end product existed on the last film in your Polaroid: a crooked snapshot of him kissing your cheek as you smiled with creased eyes, sheets held against your chest. And he conceded in letting you keep it after watching you clutch it lovingly in your fingers.

You immediately sought comfort in his embrace after setting the photo next to your phone on the nightstand, and he stole multiple kisses from you way after your eyes couldn’t stay open any longer.

“Get some sleep, my love,” Seokjin whispered.

And despite your sound of protest, you were pulled into the abyss of sleep right as you felt pillowy lips caress your forehead.

Rin-Rin [6:40am]: You’re lucky I love you. I packed your stuff and left out an outfit for you when you come down. Just don’t be late or I’ll drag you back down myself :)))

Jiminie [6:45am]: RISE N SHINE LOVEBIRDS

Rin-Rin [6:46am]: Oh, yeah, I may or may not have texted Jimin.

Jiminie [6:46am]: ABOUT TIME

Jiminie [6:46am]: !!!

Tae [6:47am]: jimins scream woke me up. i can only assume that means ill get to be an uncle soon. dont let me down i want this(:

Joonie [6:48am]: Aaaaaaaaaa !!!

Jiminie [6:48am]: And I know you want to yell at me for yesterday so I am ready for that whenever you are

Kook [6:50am]: <3

You smiled at your texts before locking your phone. Seokjin was already up and about, making sure everything was packed and accounted for. When he saw you stirring, he came over and surprised you with a kiss so deep that it revitalized your sagging emotional state. “Morning,” you chuckled, swinging your sore legs out of the sheets and wincing at the cold. “I need to head back down.”

“Yeah, Rin already sent the first round of threats. I’ll see you at the car, okay?”

You pecked him on the cheek after you slipped on your boots and grabbed your Polaroid. Stepping into the hallway, you kept reminding yourself to not completely lose it yet. There was still a whole car ride you got to have with him, and you were determined to slow down time however you could.

Your phone buzzed again, and you assumed Yoongi and Hoseok were just now waking up and getting the gossip. Checking your notifications only validated your guess.

Hobi [6:52am]: AHHHHH HAPPY FOR U~!!!

Hobi [6:52am]: ASLSKDJSKDHSKDJ

Yoongi [6:53am]: I’ll make sure to drag him back sometimes. It’s ludicrous to say that we’d never see him again. Drama queen. Anyways, happy for you. If you need anything, let me know.

Hobi [6:53am]: we’ll see seokjinnie again love. and if u miss him a lot then we can make sure you see him. im sure he’ll be missing u too

How you were able to win the friend lottery and meet these people, you had no clue. But you weren’t going to ever question the fact. All you would do was embrace your blessings and love them.

The car ride to the airport was long, but still much too short for your liking. Between the loving gazes you directed at Seokjin as he sang along to Taehyung’s music, the looks full of mirth Jimin gave the both of you from the backseat, and the laughter of both Rin and Taehyung, you were the happiest you’ve felt in a very long time.

Throughout the ride, you got the feeling that you were going to be okay. Seokjin was starting an insane adventure, but you were also going to be there every step of the way. Not just on the polaroid he decided to stash in his bag, but in his heart and on his mind like Namjoon said around the fire.

There were still plenty of ways to see each other and communicate. And since he technically didn’t start until next summer, that gave you plenty of time to see him before then. The many possibilities made you question your hesitation in the first place.

But none of that diminished how much of a struggle it was still going to be.

When the car rolled to a stop in the airport parking lot, your chest constricted. When everyone got their bags out of the cars and started the trek to the shuttles, your hands shook on your straps. As soon as everyone started saying their byes and separating to check into their airlines, you found it hard to breathe.

But a tender hand brushed through your hair, and plush lips connected with your forehead. In an instant, you felt okay again.

Seokjin’s calm voice slipped over your features. “Your flight leaves in two hours, right?” When you nodded, he continued, “Okay. Come shop with me before I have to go to my gate!”

You tried your best to keep a positive attitude while you watched Jin peruse different airport stores. When he would hold stuff up for you to approve, you would smile or dramatically turn things down. Even the cute neck pillow he really wanted got the dreaded rejection.

But that was only so you could pay for it when he wasn’t looking and surprise him. The huge laugh and grin you got in return was worth the trouble.

When it was time for Seokjin to head to his gate, you brought him in for a crushing hug. “Let me know when you land,” you demanded.

“Of course, honey,” he said through a smile.

“‘Honey,’ now?” You regarded him with a raised eyebrow. “You have so many nicknames for me. I can’t keep up. Do you have a favorite you could stick with?”

Seokjin rested his chin on your head. “Ah, I have a favorite. But it’s not true yet, so I shouldn’t use it.”

A fire ignited in your heart, the flames warming you from the inside. “And which one is that?”

“Would you look at the time!” Jin’s body heat left you in a rush as he stepped away, and your instinctual pout made him laugh outright. He cupped your chin for a kiss that rocked your whole being before pulling away. His eyes held galaxies in them when he stared into yours. “Guess you’ll have to wait for the answer to that one.”

“You’re a jerk, Jinnie,” you huffed, but you kissed him again. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I really am. And I love you,” he responded. His hand came down to squeeze yours before he had to part. “I’ll let you know when I make it. Call me when you get home, okay?”

“Okay,” you replied, and you watched his long strides with a heavy heart and a hopeful mind.

As you told yourself again and again, you were going to be okay. It was going to be tough, it was going to be absolutely painful. But as long as you decided to keep loving each other, everything would work out.

You knew better than anyone that love was a choice. And for Seokjin, you would choose it a thousand times over.

And besides, the current state of technology was on your side. The possibilities of communication were too endless for you to dwell on the distance. Were there going to be days in which you only received one text? Most likely. Were there going to be weeks where you weren’t going to hear much from Seokjin at all? Definitely. But this time, unlike last time, you welcomed every bit of it. Your heart built a bridge to his that defied any sense of physical distance. On opposite sides, both of you were achieving success in your own ways. In the end, you would always come back to each other to celebrate together. Even though this was the last November trip you had with Seokjin, it was the beginning of many, many wonderful years to come.

It was later, while you were waiting for your own flight to finish boarding, that a message was sent to your phone.

Jinnie [12:04pm]: Attachment: 1 Image

You couldn’t help but grin. As you gazed lovingly at the picture of Seokjin smiling next to your polaroid, another one came in before you could respond.

Jinnie [12:05pm]: Until you’re really next to me, this will have to do. Don’t get too jealous!

You laughed to yourself, rolling your eyes while setting the image as your wallpaper. Locking your phone, you tapped the glass to see your screen light up, observing the picture again.

On a plane heading to another city entirely, Seokjin was doing the exact same thing. Except in his case, he was smiling down at a girl caught in mid-laughter, body aglow from the bright yellow lights of a spinning carousel behind her.

a/n: whewww so if you made it to the end, hi! i seriously enjoyed writing this and i learned so much. it’s my first fic and first huge one-shot, so if you have any comments/concerns/constructive feedback, please let me know! my ask box is always open, too. lastly, here is my m.list if you want to browse! 🌨🌨🌨 ++ feedback box (added nov. 25th, 2021): ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that aren’t okay with reblogging with a review, commenting on this, or sending a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a feedback dropbox :D ⇥ here! ++ ⇥ masterlist

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