#I would have written or drawn something but 1. don’t have the time and 2. what do I even SAY
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FAVOURITE SECRET PT 2 nishimura riki x reader
𓂂 ˳ older sister’s best friend riki, fluff warnings: intentional lower case, swearing , angst, hurt comfort
pt 1
there’s a lump in your throat as you stare at your older sister, she stares at you and the boy on the floor in shock, a mixture of confusion, anger and betrayal, written on her face.
she opens her mouth, then closes it. she opens her mouth again, “get.out.” she whispers quietly, her gaze solely focused on the boy on the floor.
riki sits up slowly looking at minji with confusion, “me ?”
her gazed sharpens, “yes, you !” she grabs his arm lifting him up from the floor and pushing the boy out your room. “you know where the door is.”
you stare at your sisters rage in shock, you most definitely knew that she would be mad about you and riki but never like this, you thought that she would just give you guys some type of lecture,“minj-”
“shut up yn.” she turns to you sharply, you flinch when was walks closer to you, “my best friend really?” her voice is filled with anger and sadness.
you sit still not really knowing what to say, it’s not your fault that you like him.
you hang your head low as her stare burns into you, you feel your tears burning at the back of your eyes, you don’t think you’ve ever seen her this angry.
“oh look, she’s gonna cry like she always does .”she narrows her eyes at you “like the baby she is.” she says laughing sarcastically, “I should be the one crying.”
your face scrunches up, “I’m not crying.” you say with a tearful tone, your voice cracking, your throat is burning, it always hurts when you try to stop yourself from crying. “I don’t even understand why you’re so mad.” you say bitterly. “ it’s not that big of a deal.”
minji’s body tenses, she shakes her head at you disgustingly, “obviously you would say that.” she steps back from you slightly. “you don’t get it do you ? why can’t I just have one thing for myself.”
she walks back and forth in front of you. “gosh, you’re so insufferable yn, you just suck everything out of everyone and you don’t even realize.”
a tear drops form you eye, you don’t know where this is all coming from, why is she so mad ? did she always feel that way about you ?
“and I had one thing, one thing! to myself and you take him away from me, you took my escape from me yn.” she says raising her voice slightly. “my escape from you, my escape from having to deal with the favouritism that everyone has with you, because I was his favourite.” she runs her hands through her hair, “and I knew he was acting weird these past couple months.” she whispers to herself.
“minji I don’t understand.” you say quietly. “how do I have favouritism ? you’re the scholar, you’re the one with your tests on fridge, you’re the one with the grades, you’re the one with a feature.” you say harshly, “I’m the disappointment.”
“yeah, you are.” she says just as harshly, “but you’re also the one with loads of friends, the one that gets the jokes, the hugs and the “at least you’re doing your best honey” , you’re the one that everyone is drawn too because of your free attitude, when I have to be the perfect poster child.” she walks closer to you again. “you’re like a black whole yn.”
“I finally had someone who saw me, who saw that I was just more than what people see me , and you sucked him in like you do too everyone else.”
both anger and hurt filled you, why is she being like this? did she always feel these things towards you ?
you impulsively say something.
“you’re acting like he’s your boyfriend or something.”
“he was going to be!” she yells, you jump back at her loud voice bouncing off the walls of your room. “he was going to be.” she repeats but quietly this time. “you don’t understand yn.”
“you will never understand, the feelings that I have towards him.”
her eyes widened in shock at the words that come out of your sister mouth, she loves riki.
you look down at your room floor, taking notice that one of his rings are on your carpet.
you look at your sister, you see tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “I think you should leave.” you whisper. “please get out of my room.”
she wipes her eyes quickly letting out a shaky breath as she walks out of your room not saying a word.
how did things go bad so quickly?
you sit on your bed staring at the ring on your floor then at the rain that hits your window and without thinking you grab of one your sweaters and you put on your running shoes.
you open your window and you climb down the ladder outside your window.
your stomach turn’s slightly as you hit the ground, you make sure that the ring is securely in your pocket, and make a run for it.
your breath slightly going out as you run, the rain hitting your body and the breeze running through you until you make it to your destination.
you take notice of the car in the driveway meaning his parents are home so you make your way to the side of the house where his bed room window is.
you find yourself self climbing the ladder that he leaves out for you when you used to sneak to his house.
you look through his window to see the boy laying in his bed, you softly knock on his window and you see him jump when he notices you rushing towards his window.
he opens his window pulling you in right away.
“holy shit yn, you’re soaking.” he say’s putting his arms around you pulling you further into his room.
“I think you have some clothes here you can go change in my washroom.” he says nonchalantly, like you guys didn’t get caught by your older sister like two hours ago.
after you change (making sure to put his ring in your new pocket) you come back into his main room and sit on his bed. “this is bad riki.”
“what?” he asks as he lays on his back staring up at his ceiling.
“minji riki. minji.” you say frustrated. “she’s mad like really mad.”
“you know minji, she’s like that.” he says without a care in a world, pulling you closer towards him.
“no, this is different, she said-” how do you tell him that his best friend is in-love with him.
“ah, I don’t wanna know what she said.” he says pulling you to lay in his chest. “that’s between you two.”
“but riki-”
he sits up completely, lifting up his comforter, “let’s talk about this later.”
“but riki” you say looking at him slightly concerned about his reaction.
“no, I’m tired and I just wanna lay with the person I love.” he says pulling you under the comforter.
your phone vibrates on his night table and you see a text from minji.
at his house I’m guessing?
and too think I came to your room to talk with you and apologize
you go still completely at the messages, you don’t know what to do.
you turn off your phone when riki puts his face into your neck, “riki ?”
he hums at you in response, “I think it’s best if we end our relationship.” you feel him tense in your hold. “it’s hurting minji.”
he doesn’t take his face form your neck, “minji will be minji yn, she’ll get over this in like a day.” he says tiredly.
you let out a deep sign, “this is different, she told me things really harsh things and some shocking things too…” you trail off wondering if you should tell him. “please don’t make this hard.”
he tightened his hold on you and let’s out a sigh, “let’s just talk about this after we take a nap, yeah ?”
“riki.”
but he doesn’t doesn’t respond and then you hear his light snoring, how does he fall asleep so fast ? and why is he being so nonchalant about this ?
you try your best to stop yourself from falling asleep, knowing when you wake up you’re gonna have to break up with the person that you love, but if you want to fix your relationship with your sister then that’s just not hat you’re gonna have to do.
sleep over takes you and all the stress releases from your body and you let your dreams over fill your mind.
music fills your ears and the sun from your bedroom window practically blinds you wait my bedroom window ?
you feel a weight on your chest and you look down to see riki sleeping, um ?
“riki, wake up.” you tug on the boys hair, the hums sleepily slowly rising form you, “what ?”
“what’s going on ?” he looks at you confused, before putting his head in the crook of your neck, “what are you talking.” he mumbles.
“i’m-”
your door opens, "yn I wanna get snacks wanna com- ?”
you and riki separated form each other quickly, you hitting your head on your head board and him falling off your bed with a big thud.
"ow !" you both say as minji looks at the two of you shock.
"what the fuck ?"
✰ AHAHAHHA
taglist @hikyeom @rizzyl @doublasting @heartsforhyunjin
#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#enhypen riki#riki x reader#riki nishimura#niki nishimura#niki x reader#enhypen angst
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Ooh! A wonderful interview with Rich Keeble who played Mr. Arnold (the one with the Doctor Who Annual :)) in S2! :)❤
Q: In Good Omens 2 you play Mr. Arnold, who runs the music shop on Whickber Street. Were you a fan of Good Omens before joining the cast, and is it challenging to take on such an iconic story which is already loved by a huge fanbase?
A: “There’s always pressure if you’re working on something with an existing fanbase and people might have an idea already as to how you should be approaching something. To be honest I was aware of the show but I hadn’t actually seen it before I was asked to get involved. I knew it was something special though! I remember talking to Tim Downie [Mr. Brown] about how when you tape for certain things you know if something’s a “good one”. Of course by the time I was on set I’d watched Season 1 and read the book.
I had an interesting route into the show actually: I was asked at the last minute to read the stage directions at the tableread on Zoom, and Douglas [Mackinnon] the director called me up to discuss pronunciations of the character names etc. To prepare further I quickly watched the first episode on Prime Video, and I was very quickly drawn into it. A couple of hours later I was on a Zoom call with David [Tennant], Michael [Sheen] (with his bleached hair), Neil [Gaiman], Douglas and the whole team, including Suzanne [Smith] and Glenda [Mariani] in casting. After that readthrough I asked my agent to try and see if she could shoehorn me in and she came back with a tape for Mr. Arnold saying “you play the piano don’t you…?” They wanted me to demonstrate my musical playing ability, so I rented a rehearsal studio room in Brixton for an hour and filmed myself playing piano (and drums just in case), then I did my scenes a couple of different ways and I guess it wasn’t too terrible!”
Q: During episode five you mimed to music written by series composer David Arnold alongside a real string quartet – this must have been very immersive! How did it feel to work with David, and bring the ball to life?
A: “I actually didn’t meet David Arnold sadly, but I did work with Catherine Grimes, the music supervisor who is lovely. David was at the London screening but I missed an opportunity to go and say hello to him which I kicked myself about.
I remember before I was in Scotland there was a bit of uncertainty as to whether I would need to play anything for real or not, so I practised every day playing loads of Bach and other music I thought was era-appropriate just in case they asked me to do anything on the fly. So yes, it was very immersive as you say! They sent me three pieces of music to learn which I practised in my Edinburgh apartment on a portable folding keyboard thing I bought. They introduced me to the string quartet (John, Sarah, Alison and Stephanie) and I tried to hang out with them when I could. On the day we all had earpieces to mime to. I had to mime while listening out for a cue from Nina [Sosanya] from across the room, then deliver my dialogue and carry on playing, which was tricky! The quartet and I helped each other out actually: Douglas would say something like “let’s go from a minute into the second piece of music”, I’d look at the sheet music and whisper “where the hell is that?” and one of the quartet would say “we think that’s bar 90” or something. Here’s a little bit of trivia: the shooting overran and the string quartet couldn’t make the last day, so they found some incredible lookalikes to replace them for the scene when we get lead out of the bookshop through all the demons, although I think they also kept them deliberately off camera.”
Q: What did you think of your music shop when you first saw the set? Did you have a favourite poster or prop?
A: “I thought it was incredible! It could’ve been an actual music shop with all the instruments hanging up with the “Arnold’s” price tags on. The attention to detail was incredible, well IS incredible as I understand it’s all still there. It’s hard to pick a favourite to be honest. I did a little video walkaround on my phone at the time so maybe I’ll post that if I won’t get in trouble. Interestingly the shop interior itself was elsewhere on the set to the shop entrance you see from the street. You walk out of Aziraphale’s shop, over the road, through the door of the music shop and… there’s nothing.”
Q: Mr. Arnold is tempted into the ball by a Doctor Who Annual and is playing the theme in the music shop scene – are you a fan of Doctor Who in real life? And what was it like making those jokes and references in front of the Tenth Doctor David Tennant?
A: “I’ve always dipped in and out of Doctor Who over the years since Sylvestor McCoy, who was doing it when I first became aware of it when I was growing up. Even if you’re not a fan it’s one of those shows you can’t really get away from, so doing that particular scene in front of David was really fun, and of course Douglas had directed Doctor Who as well. Apart from the amusing situation of two supposed Doctor Who fans talking about Doctor Who without realising they’re in the company of a Doctor Who, I also seem to remember Michael being the one to suggest that he would deliver his “due to problems at the BBC” line directly to David.
Oh, and I think it was actually my idea to grab the annual off the harpsichord before joining the queue behind Crowley at the end of the ballroom scene (which we’d shot weeks earlier at this point). When we were blocking it out and rehearsing I knew I had to leave my position and get to the front for my “surrender the angle” line, and then later it just felt like I wouldn’t leave without the annual so I ran back through everyone to grab it. Nobody seemed to have a problem with me doing that so I just carried on doing it when we shot it! I do remember it being a fun set with Douglas and the team being very open to suggestions.”
Q: How did you balance filming both Good Omens and BBC Ghosts at the same time?
A: “Luckily both shows were a joy to work on, and everyone seems to know about both of them. We were shooting them in early 2022 and I also had a little part in an ITV drama called ‘Stonehouse’, starring Matthew Macfadyen. I usually never know when I’m working next so to have three great TV jobs at once was very unusual. There was all this date juggling and I actually almost had to turn down Ghosts due to clashes. Luckily both shows had to move some dates so it worked out. But yes, I spent two weeks up in Scotland shooting all that Good Omens ballroom stuff, then I came back down to London to do Ghosts, knowing I’d be back up to shoot my scenes in the music shop in a couple of weeks. Now, when I found out who was playing my wife in Ghosts I couldn’t believe it: Caroline Sheen – Michael Sheen’s cousin! She was amazing and that was another great set in general. I say “set”, but it’s all filmed in that house which surprised me. I’d worked with Kiell [Smith-Bynoe] and Jim [Howick] before, and Charlotte [Ritchie] was in the Good Omens radio play a few years ago and a big fan of the book. Charlotte’s very musical of course and we got talking about my folding keyboard I had for practising my Good Omens stuff, and she ended up setting it up in the house for us to have a play on!
Now, when we’d shot all our internal scenes there was this big storm forecast, and our external scenes were scheduled for the day of the storm, so that had to be moved into the next week. It meant I ended up shooting those scenes outside the house, then going straight back up to Scotland to shoot the Good Omens music shop scene the next day! When I mentioned to Michael I’d just worked with Caroline he said “ooh she’s in Ghosts is she!” and revealed that she’d texted him about me which was rather surreal. Then later after the Ghosts wrap party Kiell gave me a part in his Channel 4 Blap, so at the time I felt like I was killing it career wise, but the industry quietened a bit after that and my workload eased off over the year so I was in my overdraft by November.”
Q: What are your plans for the future – can we expect to see you in something else soon?
A: “This year, after a bit of a quiet start, I was very fortunate to work on a Disney+ show called Rivals which stars… David Tennant! I think I’m allowed to say my character is called Brian, and I shot five episodes so that was another really amazing job, and great to work with David again (I told him he must be my good luck charm, although I hope he’s not sick of me). That should be out at some point in late 2024. Other than that I’ve filmed a few other bits I presume will be out next year, one of which is called Truelove on Channel 4 which actually looks really good. That starts early January. Of course now Season 3 of Good Omens has been greenlit, I would love Neil and the gang to have me back on that… but I can only keep my fingers crossed!”
#good omens#gos2#season 2#swirlywords#rich keeble#mr arnold#2ep5#2i5i4#2i5i15#bts#photos#bts photos#interview#rich keeble interview#rivals#skittles#eric#disposable demon#paul adeyefa#ann louise ross#demon skittles#donna preston#mrs sandwich#tim downie#mr brown#magic shop#fun fact#s2 interview
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Preludes and Nocturnes - Part 1
Paring: Rafe Cameron x InnocentPogue!reader
Summary: Rafe discovers your hidden talent and now he has seen it, you have his full attention.
Warnings: 18+ Smut. Dark!Rafe. Virgin!Reader, Romance, Angst, Dub-Con, Fingering, squirting. Not Proof-Read so mistakes are my own.
Word Count: 9k words (Yo it took me months to write but I finally did it)
Author Note: Hello lovelies! So this is an original idea I’ve had for a while now... and this is the longest fanfic I’ve ever written for a character. Who did I write this tale about Rafe motherfucking Cameron of course. HA! I may do a part 2 but we’ll see based on the response it gets. Love you all and thanks for reading and listening - there’s music in there too so if you can listen to the tracks as you read it’ll heighten the experience. 🫶 Enjoy!
Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Please don’t steal or copy bits of my writing or any writing from other writers cause karma will get ya.
Rose, elegant and poised as ever, fiddled with Ward's bowtie. It was a futile attempt to straighten it, and you wondered if the Kooks knew how ridiculous they looked, their privileged lives spent fussing over trivial things.
"Do you play?" Ward's voice was casual, but his eyes betrayed a glimmer of interest. He had seen you eyeing the piano in their opulent living room before, and it was clear he suspected you had a musical inclination.
"A little," you replied, shrugging nonchalantly. You didn't want to give too much away. The Kooks had a tendency to pry, and you had learned the hard way that it was better to keep your guard up.
The Camerons were pleasant enough, but like the other Kooks on Figure Eight, they didn't really care about the Pogues. You had grown up being told that Pogues were different from Kooks, but as you got older, you realized it was more complicated than that. The Kooks were narrow-minded, lacking empathy and understanding. They saw the Pogues as nothing more than servants, there to cater to their every whim. It was a toxic dynamic and one that you had learned to navigate with caution.
The key to survival on the Outer Banks was invisibility. You had learned that early on. The less you revealed about yourself, the safer you were. So you didn't tell Ward that your father had started teaching you piano before you could even walk. You didn't tell him that music was your escape, your solace, your everything.
"Well, a bit of something is better than nothing," Ward chuckled, his eyes flickering back to you. "I bought it thinking it would be nice to have music in the house that wasn't rap or pop, but you know how kids are." He chuckled again. "No one seems interested in learning how to play it. If you want to try it out, our door is always open."
The Kooks were the quintessential chameleons, expertly donning the cloak of benevolence and charity. But behind the facade lay their self-centered motives, concealed in plain sight. In their company, you had to be just as duplicitous as them, your true self lost in a sea of artifice. So you donned your own mask of deceit, feigning a grin while burying your true feelings behind a veneer of politeness.
As the grandfather clock in the hallway struck six, Rose and Mr. Cameron stepped into the warm North Carolina evening, dressed to the nines for their elegant black-tie affair. You were left behind in the kitchen with Wheezie, chatting aimlessly about everything and nothing. A comfortable silence settled between you.
"Want to watch a movie, Wheezie?" you asked, but you already knew the answer.
"Maybe next time? I'm having a Stranger Things watch party with my friends. We're on season three, actually," she replied as she pulled out her phone and began texting.
"Oh, that's cool. Sure, let me know when you're hungry and we'll order in."
A few minutes later, you were left alone in the kitchen, grappling with the void of the next five hours stretching before you. Your gaze was inexorably drawn to the open double doors of the living room, and a force beyond your control tugged at your heartstrings.
There, in the corner of the Camerons' living room, stood a magnificent black Steinway & Sons piano. A work of art that you had only seen in fleeting glimpses on the internet, played by virtuosos with mastery beyond compare.
The Camerons' piano was an exquisite piece. Valued upwards of forty thousand dollars, it was a show-stopper that begged to be played in a prestigious concert hall. And yet there it sat in their living room, untouched and unloved.
With a fluttering heart, you approached the baby grand piano, drawn by an unconscious force beyond your control. As you lifted the fallboard, a heady scent of wax and mahogany wafted into your nostrils, creating a longing you could barely contain. Your fingertips brushed against the smooth, pristine ivory keys, unable to resist the urge to touch. As you pressed down on one, a crystalline note filled the air, flawless and true. Before you could even think, you were seated on the bench.
Back straight and feet planted firmly on the floor, you thought about all the classical pieces you had practiced over the years and loved to play. How each piece would sound hollow on your cheap, antiquated piano in your small family home. Music was your first love, and you longed for the day to play on stage accompanied by the New York Symphony Orchestra.
Closing your eyes, you allowed your mind to wander, imagining a sea of faces, a packed audience hanging on your every note. In your mind's eye, you saw your dad sitting in the front row, his gaze filled with pride and love. The thought of his reaction, a validation of all his sacrifices over the years, filled you with purpose.
Driven by your distant dream, you let your fingers glide across the keys, effortlessly weaving a tapestry of sound that flooded the Camerons' living room with music.
With meticulous attention, you listened closely to the dynamics of the piece. You noticed the way the Steinway amplified the subtlest variations in volume, imbuing the composition with a melancholic mood. Your fingers moved with practiced ease, executing intricate runs and arpeggios with fluid grace.
Enraptured by the music, you let the notes wash over you. Every facial expression was a reflection of the emotional journey unfolding before you. As the piece reached its crescendo, your fingers moved faster, striking the keys with greater force, a physical manifestation of your emotions. Your hands flowed in flawless harmony with the rhythm, pouring your soul into the music. And with the final notes, you laughed breathlessly, basking in the afterglow of your musical outpouring.
But your blissful moment was cruelly interrupted as you suddenly sensed you weren’t alone. Your eyes snapped open, and a cold wave of fear washed over you.
“Shit! I am so sorry,” you stammered, your voice trailing off in a rush of apologies as you gingerly lowered the piano fallboard.
“You know,” Rafe’s words were laced with honey, each syllable slow and sweet, yet there was no mistaking the menacing undertone to them. “We don’t take kindly to people touching our things,” he drawled, his intense gaze locked onto yours, a warning glimmer lurking within his dark eyes.
“I… I had permission from your dad,” you insisted, your words barely audible above a whisper as you tried to defend your actions.
His response was a dismissive chuckle. The atmosphere was taut with tension as he nonchalantly propped his golf bag against the wall. Leisurely slow, he sauntered over to you, his hands casually tucked away in his pockets.
“What were you playing anyway?” he inquired, his tone deceptively relaxed.
“You mean the name of the piece?” you swallowed hard, fear palpable. “It’s called Nocturne in C-sharp Minor.”
The tall blonde squinted at you, and you could not decipher his expression. Wanting to avoid further irritation, you slowly rose from the piano bench and dusted it off.
“What kinda name is that?”
“I… I…” you stammered, blood surging in your ears from fear as Rafe suddenly leaned in and lifted the fallboard. He scanned the keys, perhaps checking for any scratches. You took a deep breath. The scent of his expensive cologne and freshly mown grass overwhelmed your senses.
“I don’t know. It worked for Chopin, I guess.” You said quietly.
“Chopin…” he said with his lip jutted.
“He’s the composer. He wrote it and-”
“I know Chopin,” Rafe interrupted, his eyes suddenly locked on you. Up close, you could not deny that they were a striking shade of blue, if not for the death glare he gave you. “Chopin, Beethoven, Einaudi, Bach…” He backed away and sat in a nearby chair. “Brahms… I’ve been to enough of those long-ass concerts to at least know their names.”
You felt a confusing mix of awe and jealousy as you listened to Rafe’s words. The pit in your stomach proved this. You had never been to a proper symphony concert, and the school concerts you had attended were barely amateur. The thought of your dad’s broken promise to take you to one was a constant source of frustration. However, Rafe’s casual disdain for the very concerts he was lucky enough to attend seemed to be a new addition.
“Well… I’m not getting paid to mess around on your piano,” you said with a wry smile, as you tried to mask your emotions.
“You’re right. You’re not,” Rafe retorted while he twisted the gold signet ring around his index finger with his thumb. Head tilted to the side, his eyes raked over every inch of you, from your hair, your oversized sweatshirt and jeans to your worn knockoff Converses. You felt self-conscious under his intense scrutiny. He made you want to crawl into a hole and hide.
“I… I should check on Wheezie,” you whispered, eager to escape the tension in the room.
“Why?” Rafe asked, halting his twirling of the signet ring. His face appeared bemused until a sly grin tugged at his lips. “Weeze is a big girl, right? Might as well… play Chopin while she’s doing her own thing…”
As you babysat for the Camerons, you occasionally spotted Rafe in the vicinity. Sometimes, he was accompanied by a striking beauty, while other times he hung out with his friends. Even when he was alone, his body language was a clear warning: "Keep your distance." His piercing gaze made you feel diminutive and unimportant, as if any attempts at interaction would be met with cold indifference. In his presence, you felt like you were navigating hostile terrain, just a misstep away from a precarious situation.
"Well?" he said, leaning back in his chair and tapping his lower lip with a finger. The gesture seemed to carry a message, but what message you weren't sure. What was certain was that his expression of amusement made it evident that the outcome was secondary—he was simply enjoying watching you squirm.
Your tongue darted out to moisten your parched lips, while anxiety twisted in your gut as you stared nervously at the grand Steinway piano and Rafe. The weight of his words lingered in the air, causing you to hesitate and consider the potential consequences of your answer.
Every which way you looked at it, you were fucked.
Rafe was bound to tell his parents, and you were sure enough about to lose your job once they found out. Despite Mr. Cameron's outward kindness and willingness to accommodate, you knew very well that playing their piano without supervision was not within the bounds of your permission. And he certainly would not appreciate you lying about it either.
Still, you were determined to make the most out of a shitty situation. You weren't trying to prove anything to Rafe, but if this was going to be your last time playing a Steinway, you would go out in style.
You had chosen a haunting, evocative melody, a tale of lost love and longing. The notes rang out, clear and true, as your fingers danced over the keys.
Closing your eyes and shutting out the world and Rafe, you allowed the music to flow from your fingertips, guided by instinct and emotion. Your touch was delicate yet confident, breathing life into the haunting melody.
After the last notes of the piece hung in the air like a delicate mist. You held your breath, waiting for some kind of response from Rafe, but all you got was a deafening silence. The room felt like it was closing in on you, and you couldn't help but cast a quick glance in his direction.
Rafe's eyes bored into yours with an intensity that made your heart stop. You shifted uncomfortably, feeling exposed under his scrutinizing gaze. When you finally lowered the fallboard, the tension was so thick you could practically cut it with a knife.
"I should check on Wheezie," you whispered, breaking the silence.
Rafe made no reply, and you took that as permission to leave. When you returned downstairs a half hour later, Rafe was nowhere to be seen and you sighed in relief.
In the best-case scenario, Rafe would keep your little transgression to himself. In the worst-case scenario, you could explain to Mr. Cameron that curiosity got the better of you and seek his forgiveness. Either way, you vowed never to touch their piano again.
"What's on your setlist today, piano girl?" Rafe's voice caused your heart to skip a beat, and you nearly spewed out the orange juice pooling in your mouth. A mere week had passed since your previous babysitting job at the illustrious Cameron residence. Yet here you were once again, feeling a pang of anxiety at the mere sight of him. You had desperately hoped to avoid any interaction with Rafe for the remainder of your shift, but fate had other plans in store.
There he was, sauntering into the kitchen, sporting an obnoxiously bright salmon polo shirt that clashed horribly with his teal shorts, and finished with a backwards baseball cap. Despite his frat boy appearance, you couldn't help but admit that he looked undeniably handsome. The realization hit you like a brick and left you feeling inexplicably uneasy.
"Excuse me?" you sputtered, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
Rafe's gaze shifted towards the living room, where the Steinway was waiting behind closed doors.
"No, I don't think it's a good idea," you said, your voice trailing off as you watched Rafe roll his eyes.
"Whatever," he drawled with a dismissive flick of his wrist, exuding an air of nonchalant superiority as he strode out of the kitchen.
You parroted his words under your breath, feeling frustration boil inside you. Despite his insufferable demeanor, you chose to let it slide. After all, you needed this job, and with a week of smooth sailing under your belt, you suspected that Rafe had kept your little piano incident under wraps. You weren't about to jeopardize your livelihood over a petty disagreement with Rafe Cameron of all people.
Just as you were considering taking refuge in the kitchen to avoid Rafe, the sound of a key being struck on the Steinway echoed through the kitchen, beckoning you towards it.
You stepped into the living room, a bundle of nerves and anticipation, only to find Rafe sprawled in the same chair as before. The piano's fallboard was already raised. Its ebony and ivory keys gleamed in the warm light of the setting sun. Rafe's piercing gaze locked onto yours, then flicked towards the piano.
"Do you want me to play something?" you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
Rafe shrugged, looking uninterested. "Do you want to?" he asked, his voice dripping with boredom.
"I don't mind, I guess," you replied, chewing your bottom lip.
If you were to be completely honest with yourself, you were desperate for another chance to play the Steinway. There was a piece that you couldn't get out of your head, and you knew it would sound magnificent on it. You did not need to be asked twice. But at the same time, you were no fool.
You had heard whispers about the "Kook King." Infamous for settling disputes with his fists, not for acts of kindness. You had no idea what was taking place here or why Rafe was suddenly allowing you to play the Camerons' prized possession. But despite your internal warning bells that this could be a trap, you put your glass of orange juice on the floor next to the bench. Consequences be damned.
Taking a confident breath, you aimed to kill.
As you hit the final notes of the composition, the silence was shattered by Rafe's ragged breaths. Your eyes locked onto his, and you saw a flicker of something in his gaze that was gone as quickly as it appeared.
"I've been working on that one for a while," you said, trying to sound nonchalant despite his stare. "I know it's not perfect, but I-"
"No, it's good," Rafe interjected with a croak. "You're good."
His words validated your talent, and a rush of excitement surged through you, causing a grin to spread across your face as you basked in his praise. But the moment was short-lived as Rafe pulled out his phone and started scrolling, his demeanor shifting from impressed to cold indifference. Without warning, he abruptly rose from his seat, an air of superiority emanating from his towering frame.
"Tell Rose I'm having dinner at Top's," he drawled, his voice dripping with aloofness as he looked down his nose at you.
"Sure, okay," you stammered, still reeling from his sudden change in behavior.
Without another glance in your direction, he strode out of the room, leaving you to wonder what the hell just happened.
It became routine. A ritual. Embedded in your weekly visits to the Cameron residence.
Each time you babysat Wheezie, the air would fill with the soothing sound of classical music, as you took your place at the Steinway and brought the keys to life. Rafe, either in the background or seated nearby, listened intently. His brooding demeanor was a stark contrast to the beauty of the music.
As the weeks went by, playing the Steinway became a treasured routine, and it wasn't just the music that captivated you. With every note played, the invisible barrier between you and Rafe seemed to thin. Despite his reserved exterior, there was a subtle shift in the room when he was around, a magnetic pull that drew you closer to him until one evening, a simple question from him sparked a conversation that would change everything.
"Where did you even learn to play like that?" Rafe asked as the sun cast its final rays of light into the opulent living room, painting the space with a breathtaking array of orange, pink, and purple hues.
You had just finished playing a piece by Bach. The air was still thick with the lingering notes of the Prelude as you closed the Steinway lid.
"There's barely electricity on the cut. Far less for piano classes, and even if there was, you can't—you can't teach this, know what I mean? Well, not the way you play it anyway." His tone shifted, taking on a new quality of—dare you think it?—admiration. You couldn't help but wonder if the beer he was drinking had anything to do with his slip of the tongue and the emotions that seemed to seep through in his words.
You cast your eyes to find Rafe leaning forward in his chair, said beer bottle in hand, his hair falling into his face and his eyes laser-focused on you. There was an intensity in his eyes that made you feel like you were being seen, truly seen, by him. But as much as you were flattered by his attention, something lurking in the depths of his gaze made you feel uneasy, and you weren't entirely sure why. You brushed the stray thought aside.
"My dad taught me." You said with pride in your voice. "Did you know they used to have jazz nights at the Wreck?" You turned your body towards Rafe, eager to share this piece of history. "Back then, it wasn't called the Wreck. Anyway, my dad used to play there every night from seven until midnight until the Carreras took over. Now he works on the big oil rig in Burnsville."
"Does he still play?" Rafe asked.
You hesitated for a moment, realizing you were oversharing with Rafe Cameron of all people. But something about his presence made you feel comfortable enough to continue. "No, after my mom left," you trailed off, suddenly feeling vulnerable. "He just gave up on music altogether."
Rafe looked down, his expression unreadable.
"I guess I'm trying to keep the tradition alive, in my own way. It's not jazz, but he approves." You smiled softly. "Anyway, what about you?"
Arresting blue eyes flicked up at yours, and your stomach flipped.
"What about me?" he asked, his voice low and husky, dripping with curiosity and challenge. He leaned back in his chair, the rattan creaking beneath him. He lazily ran a hand through his blonde hair, revealing his chiselled features. You weren't sure why, but the gesture felt calculated. As though it was meant to entice you. And yet you couldn't help but feel a flutter in your chest as you drank in the sight of him.
"No offense, but you don't look like the type to be into..." you waved your hand towards the piano, trying to deflect his gaze and lighten the mood.
"Yeah? What do I look like I'm into?" Rafe purred seductively, his tongue swiping his top lip. His eyes fixed on you. You didn't miss his tone. The double entendre just beneath the surface, if you were bold enough to respond to it. You were sure the alcohol running through his veins had something to do with his sudden flirty behavior. Tomorrow, he'd probably forget the whole thing. But it still didn't stop the butterflies from dancing in your stomach.
"I...I..."
"Go on, don't be shy," Rafe coaxed, his eyes dark and intense, almost daring you to take the bait.
"I don't know," you breathed out a laugh, suddenly feeling flustered and self-conscious.
"Yeah, you do." Rafe said, his tone low and teasing. "Saying I don't look like the type means you have a type in your head. So, let's hear it. What kind of man do you think I am, Y/N?"
You were certain this was not about music anymore, and you felt way out of your element. What were you supposed to say about that? You decided to keep the conversation neutral and err on the side of caution.
"Okay," you nodded as you shifted on the bench. "You look like the type to be interested in other types of music, you know like rap or hip-hop, rock— even country and western, anything but this."
Rafe looked away with a chuckle, a deep rumble that made your skin tingle. He nodded slowly, pondering your words.
"Does that sound bad? I know it sounds awful. I'm sorry." You cringed.
"Nah, it's pretty tame actually... innocent even..." Rafe murmured more to himself than to you. You shivered as his piercing blue gaze met yours, then slowly traveled down to your lips, neck, and every inch of your oversized t-shirt and cardigan to your jeans-covered body.
He cleared his throat, his voice low as he spoke. "And you're not wrong. Classical music was my mom's thing. She loved it." He said taking a swig of his beer.
"Oh," you breathed out, taken aback by the unexpected answer. Suddenly, the pieces of the puzzle started to fall into place. Why Rafe was always so engrossed in the music each time you played. The wistful expression that crossed his face whenever he heard familiar pieces of music. It was like a window into his soul, a glimpse into a hidden part of him that he kept from the world. And just as you pieced together your thoughts, Rafe spoke, confirming your suspicions.
"We used to go to the mainland to see 'The Four Seasons' or 'Carmen' or some other shit like that. I don't know, it reminds me of her, I guess. Takes me back to happier times." Rafe shrugged, a hint of sadness in his eyes as he sipped his beer.
"I'm sorry..." you whispered.
"Nah, don't be. She was sick for a long time, and now she's... Anyway, It's all good now." Rafe replied with a forced nonchalance, a fragile façade attempting to conceal his true emotions.
"So, you listen to classical music for nostalgia..." you whispered, your voice tinged with a touch of melancholy.
“I guess you could say that,” Rafe said thoughtfully, tilting his head from side to side as he considered your words. He scrunched up his face, eyebrows drawn together as if he had tasted something bitter. “But I'm not a classical music aficionado or anything. It’s not like I’m requesting it in the club. Can you imagine that shit? Right after 21 Savage fuckin’ Mozart on blast. I’d get jumped.”
"I don’t know, you might start a trend," you smiled.
“Sounds like you want me to get jumped”
You outright laughed at that one. “Well, it depends, do you deserve it?”
“Oof” Rafe countered, clutching his chest faux wounded. “That was good.”
You shrugged with a smile, feeling an unexpected kinship with Rafe of all people. Here was this tough, brooding guy who, beneath the surface, was incredibly sentimental and even had a sense of humor. It was a sweet and surprising discovery.
"What about you? Why do you play?" He asked, his blue eyes roaming across your facial features slowly, curiously, when your laughter had died and all that was left was contented silence.
"Good question. Why do I play? Well, I guess for me... it's about the emotion," you replied, your fingers tracing the Steinway keys without pressing them. "Each note, each chord, each composition tells a story. It's like I'm a part of that story, and I get to bring it to life. You don’t need words you just… feel it.”
Rafe nodded, understanding. "I get it. You're the storyteller. The piano is your instrument channelin’ that shit.”
"Exactly!" you said, touching your nose and pointing to him with an earnest laugh.
"Exactly," Rafe repeated with a soft chuckle, his gaze fixated on you.
“Hey, how come I never see you at bonfires?” Rafe asked, a mischievous glint in his eye one sunny afternoon when Rose and Mr. Cameron went out for drinks with friends, leaving Wheezie in your care.
“Bonfires just aren’t my thing,” you replied with a shrug.
“What, no friends to hang out with?” he teased.
“I have plenty of friends!” you retorted, a hint of a smirk playing at your lips.
“Friends that I’ve never seen you with,” he pressed.
“What do you mean ‘friends I’ve never seen you with’ are you stalking me around town?”
“Maybe I am...” he shrugged a small devious smile curled his lips.
“Whatever. Well, my friends and I clearly hang out when you’re not around,” you shot back, a playful smile lighting up your face.
“Sure you do,” he drawled, a chuckle rumbling in his chest.
Rafe leaned forward against the piano, the sun casting a warm glow on his handsome features. You couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed, and how the muscles in his arms flexed under his t-shirt while he absentmindedly tapped his index finger on the piano lid.
“You know, there’s more to life than playing music,” Rafe said, his voice low and smooth, as he turned the words over with his tongue. His finger tapping the lid, became slower, more measured.
“Oh, I know that,” you replied, rolling your eyes. “I have plenty of other things going on.”
“Yeah? Like what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Like studying,” you said, trying to keep a straight face as Rafe scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I’m actually quite serious about my grades.”
"I wouldn't expect anything less from a good girl," Rafe chuckled. Once again, his comment caught you off guard. Although you knew he wasn't mocking you, it still felt strange that he felt the need to mention what he perceived was good girl behavior. “Seriously though, you should have some real fun too. Do some shit you probably shouldn’t do. Life’s too short to be cooped up not living it.”
You shrugged, unsure of what to say. Rafe had a point, but you weren’t sure if bonfires were the kind of fun you were looking for. Still, there was something about the way he looked at you that made your heart skip a beat, and you couldn’t help but swallow nervously. As if reading your thoughts, Rafe leaned closer.
“You know, I could show you a good time if you want.” Rafe’s voice was low and husky as he leaned in close, his minty breath fanning your cheek. While he had flirted before, this time there was a sober earnestness to his words that made your heart race. But before you could even formulate a response, the front door's slam cut through the thick tension.
Rafe straightened himself, briefly glancing towards the hallway before fixing his gaze back on you, his jaw tightly clenched in irritation. With determined strides, he purposefully walked away, the sound of his long steps resonating down the corridor, while you unintentionally caught snippets of his familiar argument with Sarah.
It seemed Sarah had developed an interest in John B, a guy you had seen around town, but Rafe vehemently disapproved due to his “pogue” status. You couldn’t fathom why he held such strong opposition, especially considering that you, too, were a Pogue. Had he conveniently forgotten? Or did he consider you an exception?
As you closed the lid of the Steinway, an inescapable curiosity filled your mind about what set your relationship with Rafe apart. Maybe he only saw you as a friend rather than a romantic interest the way Sarah felt about John B.
Reluctant to admit it to yourself, the thought pierced through, leaving you with a confusing mixture of disappointment, anger, and self-annoyance for even entertaining the idea that Rafe could ever feel that way about you.
As Rafe persisted in berating his sister, you dismissed any contemplation of what might have happened between the two of you if she had arrived just a few minutes later.
“Hello?”
“I'm in here.” Rose’s voice, sharp as a razor’s edge, resonated through the foyer of the Camerons’ residence. As you entered the kitchen, you discovered her gingerly picking up the remnants of a shattered vase from the tiled floor. You offered to help her, but she brushed you off with a dismissive gesture.
“No need, honey. I wouldn’t want you getting hurt.” She said, smiling unconvincingly.
Mr. Cameron burst into the room a few seconds later. His dominating presence charged the atmosphere, his eyes glinting like ice. It was only when his eyes landed on you that his demeanour changed.
“Oh, Y/N. Thanks for coming on such short notice. We’ll only need you for two hours. Sarah should be back by then.” He smiled, though it did not reach his eyes.
“Uh, sure. Of course.” You replied. You scurried out of his path as he snatched a file and car keys from the kitchen table.
“I’ll be in the car.” He informed Rose tersely, eliciting a stiff nod from her.
Feeling Rose’s disquiet, you intervened to clear the shattered vase. “I can pick these up for you, Rose.” You said warmly.
“Really? Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.” You assured her with a nod.
“Thank you.” She murmured, her smile returning. “Wheeze is upstairs doing her homework. I’m sorry about all of this. Things are a bit crazy today.” She said, her grip on her bag and sunglasses tightening as if she were holding onto her sanity by a thread. And with that, she vanished, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the shattered pieces of the vase.
Having cleared the wreckage, you climbed the stairs to find Wheezie immersed in her studies in her room, her headphones firmly in place. You inquired if she needed anything or was okay, but she appeared blissfully unaware of the chaos that had unfolded. You marvelled at her ability to concentrate amidst the turmoil, yet you couldn’t dispel the nagging suspicion that the Camerons hid a dark secret beneath their façade of rich superiority. With a sigh, you left Wheezie to her schoolwork and descended the stairs as the sound of the living room door being opened roused your suspicions.
As you passed the living room, your heart sank at the sight of Rafe. He was sitting on his usual chair, swaying back and forth, lost in a jumble of incoherent words. His eyes were bloodshot and streaked with tears. You hurried towards him, your mind racing with worry and fear. You sat down on the floor in front of him, your heart pounding in your chest.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
He responded with a roar that shook you to your core. The words that spilled out of Rafe’s mouth were like knives, cutting deep into your soul. He berated himself with a ferocity that was frightening, how he was a failure in his father’s eyes, how he was nothing but a disappointment. You placed a comforting hand on his knee, giving it a gentle squeeze, trying to offer some solace amidst his torment.
His eyes flicked to your hand, then to your face, as if seeing you for the first time. Rafe’s jaw tightened, his eyes raw with emotions you couldn’t decipher. There was anger there, yes, but there was something else too – something deeper, more primal.
“Play something.” He suddenly demanded.
“I can- I can get someone for you. Do you want me to call your-”
“No. I don’t want that. I want you to play.” He almost sneered at you.
“Okay.” You whispered tentatively.
You made your way to the piano, your fingers trembling with anticipation. As you began to play, the haunting melody flowed from your fingertips.
As the tender notes from the piano enveloped you, the outside world ceased to exist. Within the protective cocoon of the Cameron's living room, you hoped your music might be a balm for Rafe’s pain. But this sanctuary of sound was violently shattered when an aggressive tug at your hair ripped you from your reverie.
Suddenly, Rafe was there, his fingers cruelly ensnared in your hair, exerting a force so savage it wrenched your head backward, choking off your breath and stilling the music in one brutal tug. The once harmonious room was now charged with an electrifying tension, your eyes captured and held hostage by the ferocity in his.
This was not the Rafe you knew.
The Rafe towering above you appeared utterly transformed. Unrecognizable in every way. Gone was the Rafe who had shared countless evenings filled with laughter and sharing stories. Gone was the anchor that made you feel connected and safe.
Instead, frustration etched itself onto his face like a battle scar, while his dilated pupils revealed an intensity you had never witnessed before, oscillating between your fear-stricken eyes.
His gaze dipped to your parted lips as you let out the breath you were holding, and before you could react, before you could appease him, Rafe captured your lips with his.
You froze. Paralyzed against Rafe's lips. Shock stole your breath away.
Time stopped in an instant as you grappled with the thought that this was a dream, a surreal nightmare. But that fragile notion shattered like glass as Rafe's movements became evident. His lips melded against yours like clay taking form. Hard and desperate, his kiss abruptly catapulted you back into the chilling reality that this was, without a doubt, happening.
Your instinct for survival surged as your fight-or-flight response kicked in. You attempted to push him away, but Rafe tightened his grip on your hair and yanked harder, forcing your submission, his tongue plunging into your mouth when you whined in protest.
The taste of alcohol on Rafe’s tongue was bitter and overwhelming. You tried to convince yourself that this was the reason behind Rafe's behaviour. Any moment now, he would realize his mistake, any moment he would let you go. But instead, Rafe's fingers sank into the hollow of your jaw, holding it open while his tongue explored the warm interior of your mouth.
You whimpered softly as his tongue twirled against yours with ferocity. Rafe adjusted his hand in your hair and gripped tighter, making you cry out as pain surged through your scalp and neck. The sound didn't deter him, as he forced your head back drinking from your mouth greedily.
Discordant notes rang out as you lashed out wildly, reaching for anything you could hold onto for balance. Your hands found Rafe's bicep and you dug your nails into his skin, trying to pull his hand away as he kissed you like a man possessed.
Your entire body was inflamed with sensations you had never experienced before as pleasure and pain bled into one. Your scalp ached yet your body felt hot. Your nipples were suddenly sensitive to your sweater's scraggly wool while you ached between your legs for something you had not experienced before. The whirlwind of sensations new and overwhelming within you made your eyes flutter shut on their own, your hands sliding up Rafe's wrist as you held on for balance.
Rafe's mouth worked over yours with an intensity so raw that your protests turned into breathless moans and frantic gasps as you succumbed to his kiss. Your tongue tentatively meets his stroke for stroke. Rafe growled in approval and you could feel him smile into the kiss, his tongue stoking the fire deep within you and just as quickly as it started, Rafe abruptly pulled away leaving you shaking and struggling for air.
Your heart raced within your chest as you abruptly pushed yourself off the piano bench, nearly causing it to tip over in your haste. Hand clutching your chest, you struggled to catch your breath, hastily wiping away tears that had unknowingly streamed down your cheeks.
A fleeting glance at Rafe revealed his heavy breathing, his mouth agape in quick, shallow pants, and his pupils dilated, tinged with a faint hint of blue. Yet, it was the expression etched upon his face that sent a wave of terror crashing over you.
Rafe's eyes showed no remorse.
Instead, you saw an overwhelming hunger within them that made your blood run cold. Rafe’s gaze moved down from your stunned face over your trembling body. The danger that emanated from him made your knees buckle.
You took a step back, your mind whirling with fear and apprehension. But Rafe stepped forward, his eyes locked onto yours with determination.
"I-- I need to check on Wheezie. See what she'd like for dinner," you whispered, your voice shaking as you inched backwards toward the door. You turned to run but it was too late.
Rafe reached out and snatched the hem of your sweater, yanking you towards him. You struggled to break free, twisting and thrashing like a scared kitten in his grip but Rafe was relentless. His other hand reached for your waist as he pulled you close. His nose and lips trailed the back of your neck and into your hairline and he groaned as he breathed you in. With a jab of your elbow into his rib you wriggled free. It wasn't enough to wound him but it gave you the head start needed to run.
You dashed from the room, Rafe's pursuit relentless. His outstretched fingers grazed your sweater, narrowly missing its mark. It wasn't until you sprinted up the stairs that he abandoned the chase. You didn't need to glance back to feel his gaze on you. The tendrils of his breathless laugh reverberated down the corridor.
You burst into Wheezie's room, a hot mess of tears and fear. You made up some excuse about feeling unwell and had to go home immediately. After calling Rose and arranging for a replacement babysitter for Wheezie, you sat in her room and waited for the sitter to arrive.
You didn't see Rafe when you left, and you thanked God for that. You knew that if you saw him, you would break down crying, and you couldn't bear to show him any more weakness. But the tears came anyways, hot and heavy, as soon as you got home. How could you have been so stupid? You knew all the rumors about him, knew that he wasn't a good guy, and yet somehow, you thought in your warped mind that he was different. A decent human being who was simply misunderstood.
It wasn't like you didn't see the signs. They were always there, staring you right in the face. The blatant flirting, the staring, the way he undressed you with his gaze. You dismissed every red flag, thinking he couldn't like you in that kind of way because you were not the type of girl Rafe Cameron would go for and you certainly weren't the type of girl Rafe Cameron would kiss.
And it wasn't just the kiss that scared you. It was the fact that Rafe had no intention of stopping. It was the way he held onto you, the way he made you feel like you were drowning in a sea of desire. He was a predator, relentless in his pursuit of you, and as you thought about how he grabbed onto your clothes his lips tracing your neck even as you protested you couldn't help but cry even harder.
No. There was no way you were setting foot in that house again. Not after the way Rafe kissed you, not after what he was determined to get out of you.
Over the next few weeks, Rose's texts kept coming, each one more insistent than the last. But you knew better than to give in to her demands. You couldn't go back to that house, not after what had happened with Rafe. It was too dangerous, too risky, and you couldn't afford to let your guard down again.
You thought about telling her what had happened with Rafe, but the thought of it made your stomach turn. How could you explain what had happened without sounding like a fool? That you had been hanging out with her stepson for months, that you had let things get out of hand?
You had every intention of never setting foot in that house again. But then Rose sent you a text, asking if you were available on Saturday. They were desperate, she said, and willing to offer triple what they usually paid. Rafe and Sarah were going to a game and the lady who was supposed to look after Wheezie had a family emergency.
You were going to turn them down, again, but the truth was that since you had dropped them as a client, it had been difficult to find other work. So, against your better judgement, you agreed, but only after Rose confirmed that she and Mr Cameron would be home long before Sarah and Rafe returned.
As the day of the babysitting gig approached, a sense of foreboding settled in the pit of your stomach. You knew that you shouldn't go, that it was too risky, too dangerous. But the promise of easy money was too tempting to ignore. And so, against your better judgement, you found yourself standing in front of the Cameron's house once again, your heart racing with a mix of fear and anticipation.
As you approached the front door, you couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. Rose had texted you on your way over, telling you that she would be getting ready and to let yourself in. But when you rang the doorbell and received no answer, you began to worry. Still, you didn't think anything of it when you turned the door handle and found that it was unlocked. You stepped inside and called out for Wheezie and Rose, but the house was silent.
Making your way to the kitchen, you put down your bag and pulled out your phone. You texted Rose and Wheezie to let them know that you had arrived and were in the kitchen, just in case Wheezie was plugged in. But as you waited for a response, your heart sank.
Something wasn't right. You could feel it.
You had been to the Camerons' house many times and had let yourself in on a few occasions when they were too busy to answer the door. None of this was new but it felt different. An ominous feeling washed over you. But just as you began to worry, the sound of footsteps in the hallway interrupted your thoughts, and you sighed in relief.
As you called out for Rose, a sudden hush fell over the room, broken only by the sound of footsteps approaching. You looked up, hoping to see Rose's familiar figure, but instead, your eyes met the last person you expected to see: Rafe.
His presence was jarring, like a thunderclap on a clear day. Your heart pounded in your chest as you tried to make sense of his unexpected appearance. But before you could utter a word, Rafe's murmur cut through the silence like a knife.
"Nah, not Rose," he said with a smile.
Fear took hold of you as you realized that he must have had something to do with Rose's texts in the first place. You stepped back, fear making your knees buckle.
"Where's Rose?" you whispered, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively, as if shielding yourself from him.
“Don’t worry about it,” he drawled, his voice low and dangerous.
“Don’t come near me,” you said firmly as Rafe rounded the kitchen island towards you. Immediately, you moved in the opposite direction away from him.
“I… I just… I needed to talk to you, like, a little bit. Is that okay?” he said, opening his hands to placate you.
“Did Rose actually text me?”
“She did,” Rafe soothed. “But then I, uh… I heard you’d be here tonight instead of Pat, and well… seeing you was more important to me than some game.” His eyes trailed over your face, studying your every reaction.
“Where’s Wheezie?”
“With Sarah.”
You shook your head, your mind reeling with disbelief. How could Rafe have orchestrated this situation for you to be alone with him without any of the Camerons noticing? But as if he heard your thoughts, a sly smile curled his lips and he chuckled softly.
“I told Rose I’d watch over Wheeze so she could catch an early ferry,” Rafe explained, his hands moving in slow, deliberate gestures, connecting invisible dots as he spoke. “After Rose left I gave my ticket to Wheeze.”
You felt like you were going to be sick.
“Look, I know the last time I was a little… a little intense…”
“Intense!” You choked. You would have laughed if the whole thing wasn’t so heartbreaking.
“Yes, and I’m -- I'm really sorry about that, okay? I really am.”
"You tried to ra-”
"No! No, no, I would never..." Rafe rushed towards you and you immediately backed away. He froze mid-step as you cowered, his hands still raised in surrender. "I’m sorry things were confusing and it looked that way but I wasn't trying to hurt you. God, I- l’m-" Rafe sighed, deflated his hands landed on his hips, he looked away as he pressed his tongue on the inside of his cheek.
"You're sorry it looked that way?" you whispered your voice trembling. Rafe's words echoed in your mind while memories of that day in all its menacing glory flooded back. You looked at him flabbergasted.
"Rafe...you... you were kissing me-”
“I know but I-”
“And touching me--"
He breathed out a laugh "Come on, you know I was only-,"
“Without my consent, Rafe.”
He was silent with that and you hoped your words had finally sunk in, had finally made him understand how terrifying he was in that moment.
“Then you chased me. You chased me like some...” you couldn’t even finish the sentence. You didn’t know how to finish the sentence. You were so hurt and confused. That your friend could do something like that to you. “I don’t even know who you are. I- I don’t think I ever did,” you whispered.
Rafe's eyes landed on yours with that. His gaze was dark and intense, and for a moment, you thought you had gotten through to him because he nodded slowly. But then he let out a humourless chuckle, reminding you of the one he gave post-chase, and any hope of reaching him dissipated.
"You know, it’s funny ‘cause you say that...” Rafe said coldly, a hand gesturing to you as if trying to grasp his own thoughts “But you’re not entirely innocent in all of this, are you?”
“I don't-- I don't understand."
“Do you have any idea what you're doing to me, huh, Y/N?
"Raf—"
"What kind of mental shit you put me through? Nah, you don't. You don't think about that, do you?" he asked, his hands gesturing toward you as his eyes narrowed and he stared you down. You felt a shiver run down your spine as you realized the gravity of Rafe's words. It was as if he was confessing to a darker truth, a mental anguish that he had been helplessly consumed by, something unintentionally sparked within him by your actions.
"I have my dad on my back talking about legacies, our family business and preparing me for that shit meanwhile Sarah’s running around town doing god knows what with some loser fucking up our family name. I have real shit to deal with...” he gave out a bitter laugh his hand clutched to his chest as he confessed.
“But even with all of that all I can think about every minute of every fucking day, is you.” Rafe's voice was raw and anguished. His hand moved up to his ear as he slowly walked towards you.
"It's like you've crawled into my brain, you know? Like I’m under some fucking spell with your music and your voice and your-" His eyes trailed down your body just as his hand followed the motion, and you shuddered. He was consuming you with his gaze every sinful thought etched across his features.
"Nah, you made me do this…” he said bitterly, his jaw clenched tight.
“Rafe--”
“You did and now I'm the bad guy because I had a moment of weakness. But you know what? Fuck, it.” he shrugged nonchalantly. “Fuck it, i’ll take responsibility for my part in this--”
“Rafe--”
“That’s what real men do, right? Take responsibility for their shit and I’m all about being accountable, so yeah, I kissed you.” He said nodding slowly. “But I’m not sorry.”
His words made you recoil, disbelief etched across your face as you stared at him.
“Yeah, you want me to pretend like I am. Act apologetic but I won’t. I'm not sorry and you should quit actin’ like you didn't enjoy it."
His words were like a punch to the gut, and you could feel the weight of his accusation settling in your stomach. Stunned, you opened your mouth to protest, but no words came out. A dry, humorless laugh left you instead. Rafe simply nodded slyly as he resumed his steps towards you, and as you stepped backwards, your back collided with the kitchen counter.
“That’s- that’s not true.”
“No?” he asked faux confused.
“It’s not- that’s not fair”
“Isn’t it?” he tutted.
"Rafe, listen to me," you whispered shakily, but he was already leaning in, his eyes dark and clouded.
"No. No, no, you listen.” he rasped, circling in and looking down on you, his lips pouted as he leaned into the shell of your ear, “You were moaning Y/N- No, don’t do that. Don’t shake your head, and act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Don't stand there and pretend this whole fucking thing is one-sided. You were moaning into my mouth… and you...you held on to me, yeah? I didn’t force you to do those things."
"Rafe--”
“That was all you princess. So you gotta ask yourself. What kinda girl are you to be into that, hm?” Rafe whispered as he leaned into you. “What kinda girl would moan like a whore when a guy manhandles her…”
“I didn’t- I wasn’t. I wanted you to stop Rafe and you-”
Rafe chuckled before you could even finish your sentence.
“Is that what was happening while you were kissing me back? Nah, see I know what your problem is. I know, I know, I know…” he repeated softly, as he gently rested his hands on your hips. “I know why you ran when deep down you wanted it.”
You opened your mouth to protest only for Rafe to push his body up against yours. The hard wall of his body renders you speechless. “We eye fucked each other for months,” he whispered, as he looked down at you. His eyes darted to your lips as he licked his own. “You wanted it.” He said coldly.
"But I get it. It was overwhelming... too much... too soon... hm?" he murmured as his nose grazed yours. "I should have approached you more patiently. I realize that now," he acknowledged with a slow nod. "I should have been gentle with you, and I had every intention to. But I -- I wanted you so bad that day that I couldn't think straight. I'm thinking straight now, though."
“Rafe...” you breathed out, your hands on his chest to push him away but not quite having the strength to do so. Rafe must have picked up on this because he leaned in, his lips close to yours.
“You keep saying my name but you’re not telling me to stop...” Rafe whispered as his fingers caressed your cheek. With a gentle touch, he lifted your chin, and you willingly yielded. His caress made you sway, your mind growing hazy and confused. To regain your balance, you closed your eyes.
“Why aren’t you telling me to stop, hm?” he whispered.
You could feel the electricity between you as Rafe leaned in, lips hovering over yours and you tilted your head up slightly, closing the distance, only to be met with nothing. When you opened your eyes, you were met with Rafe’s hooded ones a victorious smile creeping across his lips.
“Come on” Rafe whispered, and before you could protest Rafe laced his fingers in yours and gently tugged you towards the living room.
Seated at the piano, Rafe smoothly lifted the fallboard with ease.
"Play something for me," he husked, gesturing for you to take a seat beside him on the bench. You felt a flutter of nervousness as you perched yourself next to him, unsure of where to start. You couldn't comprehend how you had gone from rejecting his advances to this moment of willing compliance and acceptance.
Rafe watched you intently. You had been up-close to Rafe before, but never this close. Not this intimately. Your mind became blank, overwhelmed with the prospect of playing for him.
"I...I don't know what to..." you stuttered.
"Anything, anything at all," Rafe whispered, his eyes studying your every move.
Taking a deep breath, you steadied your trembling fingers on the keys and began to release the notes, slowly at first, but gaining confidence with every passing moment.
“I noticed you, you know,” Rafe rasped. His knuckles suddenly grazed your cheek, and you flinched. “The first time you came to babysit Wheeze, I noticed you.” Rafe followed his knuckles as he moved them across your jaw.
“I remember thinking you were beautiful… shy… innocent…” Opening his hand, his fingers trailed down your neck, and your breath hitched.
“You were wearing this exact sweater…” His fingers splayed over your collarbone as they moved slowly down to your chest.
“What are you hiding under here, hm?” he asked softly. “What are you hiding under these baggy clothes?”
You shied away from his touch, your hands withdrawing from the keys of the piano.
"No. None of that. I’ll tell you when to stop,” he said his voice stern yet soft. Your eyes glanced at his as Rafe inched closer. “I’ll tell you when to stop.” he iterated slowly. “Start again.”
Swallowing you placed your hands on the keys while the music resumed from your fingertips.
Rafe shifted closer his leg flushed against your own. He wrapped his arm over the back of you and hooked it to the other side of the bench. Leaning in, his nose ghosted your neck.
“Raf-”
“Shhhh…”His nose nudged into your hairline. His other hand on your chest continued its exploration. It moved lower cupping your tit over your sweater. The gasp you make made Rafe breathe even heavier, a deep pur coming from the back of his throat.
“Please-” you whispered shakily.
“I’ve always wanted to touch you, you know that? Every time you played I’d think about what you’d feel like... what you’d look like, moaning for me. I wanna hear you moan for me.”
Determined Rafe’s hand moved lower until it dipped under your sweater. Deftly he fumbled under your t-shirt and you gasped when his warm fingers brushed the skin of your stomach. His other hand let go of the piano stool and was now under your sweater squeezing your tit through your bra.
“Rafe--”
“Keep playing” he whispered against your neck and you did. His hand at your stomach moved lower, finding the button on your jeans he unbutton it with one deft move and your hands falter.
“Keep playing” he murmured, face nudging into your neck, his lips pressing soft kisses to your throat. “I wanna hear you play while I touch you”
The sensation of Rafe's hands on your body was almost lost in the overwhelming numbness that had taken over you. His strong hand leisurely tugged at the waistband of your panties seeking to touch what lay beneath, while his other hand snaked under your bra. He caressed and teased your nipple until a soft sob erupted from you as pleasure surged through your veins.
Rafe moved his hand lower, slipping it between your wet folds and pushing his middle finger inside of you. You cried out, the intensity of sensation causing you to clutch onto Rafe's arm for support, music abandoned.
“It’s okay “ Rafe breathed deeply into your neck, as he roughly peppered your neck with kisses. “You're okay. Just breathe...” and as he said those comforting words he gently wormed another slender finger passed your slippery folds and into you.
You hissed, trying to move away from the burning stretch of his long fingers. Your nails dug into the flesh of his wrist with enough force to draw blood but Rafe determined as ever slowly moved his fingers in and out of you, each time inserting them a little deeper until it reached his signet ring.
"You've had more than one finger before?" he asked hotly against your neck. You shook your head no, gritting your teeth in an effort to endure him stretching you further still. Rafe groaned and nipped softly at your jawline, "Fuck, I can tell. I can barely move them. But you're a good girl, aren't you? You're taking them well and afterwards, I'm gonna train you to take all of me."
Rafe's lips trailed tender kisses down the length of your neck, then his mouth closed hungrily around the sensitive skin. His two fingers moved inside you and each slow thrust drew a soft moan from your lips.
With surety, he curled his fingers in a come-hither motion, barely grazing your clit with his thumb. The sensation was overwhelming and foreign, causing you to gasp and cum embarrassingly fast. Your pussy contracting around his fingers, milking them for all they were worth.
“Oh Fuuckk…” Rafe hissed. “You liked that, I can feel it.“ He sighed utterly mesmerised. “Well, if you like that...” Rafe groaned resting his forehead against the side of your face and planting soft kisses on your cheek. “You’re gonna love this.”
With his bottom lip caught between his teeth, Rafe's probing fingers started their relentless hunt for something deep within you. Suddenly, those searching digits found what they were looking for - a spot that caused you to arch over and clutch his hand as you cried out despite your best efforts.
“Oh- there it is” he chuckled softly, shunting his hand and hitting that spot over and over again with a speed and force that knocked the breath out of you, while his thumb expertly rubbed your clit and the fingers of his other hand mercilessly pulled and twisted your nipple.
“OhmyGOD!” you cried.
“That’s it, baby. Fuck my hand. Just like that.”
Rafe kept at it, even as your nails scraped along his wrist and arm for purchase. Even as you screamed and tried to scissor your legs closed to shut him out. None of it mattered as your eyes crossed and you felt your orgasm raw and violent crash over you.
Bucking violently into Rafe’s hand, you could feel your release seep through your jeans and onto the piano bench. Pooling and overflowing you could hear it trickle onto the hardwood floor like raindrops and still, Rafe kept going, kept finger fucking you.
Lost in a sea of agonising pleasure you could do nothing but slump against him and take it, your hips stuttering, your mouth sagging as you whimpered and gasped.
Rafe moaned against you, planting soft kisses on the column of your throat. He stilled his hand, his fingers buried deep inside while you desperately tried to catch your breath.
"Seems my fingers are just as talented as yours, hm?" he said with a breathless chuckle. His nose trailed along your neck, while his tongue darted out to capture the perspiration nestled there.
Gently, Rafe removed his digits while you gazed in shock, unable to voice a single word as he brought the wet fingers to his lips and ravenously lapped up your fluids with a contented hum.
“It’s too much.” you said hoarsely “I can’t-- I can't do this. No more, Rafe. No more,” you said weakly, trying to remove his hand from your breast and move away from his hold only for Rafe to seize your wrist painfully in his grasp.
"No more?" Rafe chuckled darkly, his gaze fixed on you with dilated pupils. "No more?" he repeated, inching closer as he shook his head. "Nah, baby. No. We're just getting started..."
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Thank you for reading. Thanks for liking and reblogging.
PART 2 / MASTERLIST
#rafe cameron x you#rafe x reader#dark!rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron imagine#rafe x you#rafe fic#outer banks fanfiction#rafe obx#rafe cameron x reader#dark!rafe#obx#obx rafe cameron#selfreblog#timezone reblog
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Thief.
Hi @nonvme how are you?
I usually solve such issues in personal messages with the authors to give them the opportunity to simply apologize and not repeat their mistakes, but this situation has upset me a lot, because I wrote to you in the comments a few months ago, but you never answered me (your private messages are closed).
You steal my textures and call it your own, as well as sell it on your patreon without any permission and credits.
Let's start from the beginning.
1. https://www.patreon.com/posts/sakira-skin-and-67386343
“credits: obscurus-sims, lamatisse, and google lol” — absolutely no mention of me, it's amazing, because it's almost entirely my texture.
“Do not claim as your own, I work way too hard to have somebody else try to claim my stuff“ — It's so nice to ask to respect your work when you don't respect someone else's.
Do I need to comment on something? She just took my skin n7, added a couple of details on face and called it her own. And she put it in early access on her patreon to make money on already free сс. She listed other authors in the credits and didn't mention anything about me.
2. https://www.patreon.com/posts/precious-skin-75050799
“Do not claim as your own, I work way too hard to have somebody else try to claim my stuff“ — and again. The duplicity of this man never ceases to amaze me.
Here she changed a bit more, but she used my skin's face as a base. And again, no mention of me in the credits.This time she didn't mention credits at all, but I see at least @obscurus-sims details.
3.
“Credits to Slephora, Obscurus, and Pinterest for all respective bits and pieces” — okay.
And again, no difference. The textures are identical.
Honey, if a person wants to use my eyelids, he just uses it. There is no need to put my cc in early access again, which has been free for three years.
I want to say that I create my textures completely from scratch, without using EA blanks. Absolutely all the details on my skins are created by me. And as an artist, I can say with confidence that it is impossible to create a texture that will match someone else's pixel by pixel. It's impossible. Moreover, most of my textures are completely drawn by me. What refs from the Internet is she talking about? Did you take refs out of my head? By Bluetooth?
@nonvme you can still apologize and I won't hold a grudge against you. Just apologize and remove my textures from your page. If you had answered me a few months ago and corrected your mistakes, then I would not have written this post and would not have spoiled your reputation. But you didn't answer me.
I'm sorry that you all had to read so much text. I hope your day is going much better than mine.
P.S. I had to re-post to remove some 18+ pieces from the skins.
UPD 15/06/23
Guys! Thank you so much for all your words of support! This is really very important to me. I didn't even expect you all to support me so much. I don't have enough words to express my gratitude to all of you 😢❤️!!!
Nonvme deleted CC that included my textures, and also promised not to use it anymore. It's enough for me to forget about this incident and don't contact patreon support.
I want to add that any author who makes his textures from scratch knows every pixel of his texture. The author of the original content will know if you have used his texture, even if you have somehow modified it. If you steal other people's textures and you haven't been caught yet, it only means that the author hasn't seen your page/cc yet, because he can't monitor the entire Internet. But one day he will find out about you, do not doubt.
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hey ik this isn’t a req but do you have any tips on writing fics?? im planning on writing and posting on my blog and you’re one of my biggest inspos so i’d love to hear your advice!!!
HIIIII, I’m so sorry I’ve gotten to u so late. I’ve been a bit MIA on here for a while because of stuff going on in my personal life, however, I would love love love to give you some of my personal tips :))
Another anonymous has asked something similar so this is also for them if they’re seeing this!! 🎀
Tip 1 : I’d say my first and most important tip is detail. In my own personal experience, people get bored of reading the exact same generic language used in the same way, if ur going to use generic language then as long as u can manipulate it to make it look pleasing + make it flow, you’ll be fine. People enjoy a story much more if it’s packed full of detail because they’ll be able to visualise it better. And yes, although sometimes it can be draining and you can get bored constantly having to put in detail, trust me, push through it and the writing will be much nicer in the end.
Tip 2 : my second tip is pretty simple, but much needed. DON’T GET LAZY WITH TENSE / PARAGRAPH SPACING AND PUNCTUATION. Obviously, it’s an absolute bitch trying to proofread everything, but when you don’t and someone is reading something with a bunch of typos + different tenses in it, it just looks poor and messy, especially when your paragraphing is all over the place, so be aware of that.
Tip 3 : Again, this is personal preference for me, but I’m often more drawn to stories that are unique / have specific character aesthetics. Don’t get me wrong, I love a simple reader x bf!Matt or bf!Chris, but don’t be afraid to shake it up a little. Maybe they’ve got a unique aesthetic? Or something that they really like? Or they have a specific piercing/tattoo (I could go on with this but I think you get the idea lol).
Tip 4 : PLOT. It’s important to build up character relationships and equally build up the atmosphere and vibe of your fic, don’t skip it just to get straight to the good bit, because 9/10 times it’s not worth it because your piece of writing lacks flow. Plus plot is so fun to write in my opinion, sometimes I get bored of writing smut because the actual characters are more interesting haha. (Side note: I wanna start writing angst and tooth rot for you guys 💀)
Tip 5 : finally, if you’re wanting to write about Matt and Chris, I think it’s essential you get each of their mannerisms right. You know you’re reading something good when you can actually picture them saying / doing what’s written down in the fic. Also I know this is weird but clothes are important, you need to make sure you write them into something they would / could pull off because it boosts your writing. Equally, if your going to use pet names, make sure it’s something you can picture them saying, if you can’t visualise it in their voice in your head, then don’t use it because I guarantee you it’ll also come out wrong in the reader’s head.
💋: that’s pretty much my 5 main tips that I live by whilst writing, if anyone needs any more help don’t be shy to message me :) thank you for even wanted my advice on the matter, it means a lot to me that people take inspiration from what I write.
#matt sturniolo#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolos#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x reader smut#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo imagines#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#chris x reader#chris sturniolo smut
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The Eddie Munson Guide to Dating an Oblivious Jock Part 5
This a short one because technically this is the end of the guide, but there is an appendix and an afterword with Lucas and Max. Which I will put out tomorrow. Thank you for all the support for this fun little story that got completely out of hand, but that I loved doing. Thanks again to @artiststarme for suggesting this. I hope you enjoyed it.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
*
Step Eight: Kissing
“Whoa, whoa!” Max said. “We’re already at kissing?”
Eddie grinned. “I don’t mean on the lips. We’ll get to that.”
“What kind of kisses are we talking about then?”
The final step to bagging your jock is kissing. But by this I mean on the cheek, the forehead, top of the head, the hand. We’re talking flirty kisses. And then you build up to neck kisses and lips. And even lip kisses have different categories.
“Fuck,” Max said rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands. “I didn’t realize it could be so confusing.”
“Don’t worry,” Eddie said, “I’ll break it down so that you understand.”
There are gentle good morning kisses, quick hello pecks, lazy warm kisses, heat searing could lead to something else type kisses.
“Oh. I get it now,” Max said. “Not all kisses are the same.”
“And you get to decide if it’s going too far,” Eddie said. “You can say no at any time. But also so can he. So if he says wait, stop, or no. Or even any of the variations therein stop. And if he doesn’t stop when you tell him to, break his knee.”
“Eddie...” she whined.
“I mean it,” Eddie growled. “Consent is hella important. I don’t care who it is.”
Max rolled her eyes. “That’s not what the movies and TV and books say.”
“Then you’re consuming the wrong kind of media, kid,” Eddie said. “Because yeah, you are going to get those kind of things in everything, but you’ll also find some good stuff. Usually written by women, unfortunately.”
She nodded.
Eddie started ramping up his affections by kissing Steve on the cheek when they said goodbye. Which always leaves him blushing and stammering.
And then he began kissing Steve’s hand hello which got the best reaction in Eddie’s humble opinion. A deep blush, the ducking of his head and cute drawn out cry of “Eddie!”
“The first time I saw that one,” Max said, “I didn’t know humans could even turn that color of red.”
Eddie laughed. “I know, right? That was also when our idiot friends picked up on the fact I was hitting on Steve.”
“I still can’t figure out how they missed all the signs up this point,” she said rolling her eyes. “Like I get Steve and Lucas. We love their obliviousness. It’s part of their charm. But how did our so-called genius friends miss you literally plastering yourself all over our baby-sitter.”
Eddie laughed. “One of the great mysteries of the world.”
Steve was curled up under Eddie’s arm on Eddie’s sofa for their weekly movie night.
“You okay there, beautiful,” Eddie murmured.
“I think I feel a migraine coming on,” Steve admitted softly.
Eddie kissed the top of his head. “I’ll be right back, sweetheart.”
Steve sat up after a bit struggling and Eddie helping him. Eddie went to the bathroom and got the extra strength pain killers he kept on hand for just such an occasion. He got a water bottle out of the fridge and made his way back to Steve.
He stopped at the entrance to front room. Steve was struggling to stay up right, his eyes were closed and pinched. He kept trying to smooth them out but the pain would get too much and he would furrow his brow again.
“Hey, hey,” Eddie murmured, as he knelt in front of him. “Let’s get you to bed. Can you stand, sweetheart?”
Steve nodded and Eddie helped him to his feet. Steve wobbled a bit, but was able to stand on his own.
Eddie led the way to the bedroom where he put Steve to bed. It was a testament to how bad Steve was already that the boy didn’t protest.
Eddie gave him the medicine and the water. Steve downed most of the bottle before Eddie took it from him and bullied him under the covers. He got up to leave Steve to his rest, when Steve grabbed his wrist.
“Don’t go,” he murmured. “Please stay.”
Eddie smiled softly. “Whatever you need, beautiful.”
He crawled into bed from the other side and curled up next him. He pressed a kiss to Steve’s poor belabored head. “I’m here.”
“Okay,” Max said. “I understand better. Kissing doesn’t have mean attraction it can mean affection, too.”
“Exactly,” Eddie said. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
“So when was your first kiss?” she asked.
“When he woke up actually,” he admitted shyly.
Her eyes went wide. “Seriously?”
He nodded.
When Steve woke up the room was dark and the gentle light of the moon peaked through the curtains. The pain in his head was almost gone and he was wrapped in Eddie’s arms.
“Hey,” Eddie murmured, “you feeling any better?”
Steve rotated in Eddie’s arms so that were face to face. “Yeah, thanks to you.”
Eddie pulled him close. “You could have said you had a migraine, I would have postponed.”
Steve shook his head. “I didn’t start to get one until we were half through. Besides, I like it here. Remember? It’s homey.”
“Safe, you said,” Eddie replied, rubbing his nose up and down Steve’s.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “I would rather be here with a migraine then at home.”
Eddie smiled. “I would have come and taken care of you, darlin’.”
Steve breath caught in his chest. “You’re so good to me.” He brought his hand up to Eddie’s cheek. “I’m not reading this wrong, am I?”
“No, sweetheart.”
Steve pressed forward, slotting their lips together. Eddie melted into the kiss and he could feel Steve do the same.
“I love you, Stevie,” Eddie said once they had parted.
Steve looked into his eyes with such adoration that Eddie was sure he had taken psychic damage.
“I love you so much, Eds,” he whispered back.
Eddie sat up and gently tapped Steve’s forehead. “Let’s go get you something to eat.”
Steve groaned. “Oh I don’t think I’m up for eating.” He held his stomach dramatically.
“You need to eat something, sweetheart,” Eddie said soothingly. “I’ll find you something that is easy on your tum tum.”
Steve sighed. “Yeah, okay. I trust you.”
“Holy hell,” Max said. “That was even more sickeningly sweet then I imaged.
Eddie laughed. “It what I was going for, you know? The sweetness of it. Because that’s what Steve needs. Someone to be sweet to him. Robin is fantastic but we both know that when her and Steve get together they try and out sass each other.”
“And the rest of us are hormonal little shits,” Max agreed with a grin that split her face.
Eddie smiled fondly. “That’s certainly true. Well, except the older kids, Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle. But they can be affectionate with Steve, Argyle especially, but they aren’t soft.”
“And Steve needs all the softness in the world,” Max said. “Is there anything else? I mean at this point you’ve bagged the jock. He is yours. What else can there be?”
Part 6
Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @this-is-mycrisis @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @artiststarme @steddie-there @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @thebrazilianatheist @rozzieroos @whalesharksart @mightbeasleep @theotalksalot @avacrebs @sassysleeplord @exhibit-no-restraint @sjullay @thesuninyaface @everywherenothere @nerdsconquerall @persephone13 @wrenisflying @lillemilly @cr0w-culture @edgelordesworld @manda-panda-monium
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Can you do first time with orochimaru?
First Time || Orochimaru x fem!reader
A/n : Hi hi hi ! 2 requests written in 2 days ! 😍 Thanl you for this so much ! Lately I've been struggling to write a piece in 1 day but I'm getting back on tracks baby oh ayyyyy 😎
A/n 2 : Next I have 2 requests on my other account for those who knows. And then I'll be back with a Demon Slayer hc 😍✨
Warnings : first time, boner, penetrative sex, slight jerking, kinda rough sex, 18+ READERS ONLY and wrap it before you tap it
Masterlist ⚜
I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it
Word count : 963
He always thought he was above those kinds of activities. He often looked them down, thinking it was only a flaw that the most animalistic of human beings were trapped with
But then he met you… and everything changed
He started to feel impossibly hot inside. He then learned that in those moment when he wanted to embrace you tightly he was feeling something unknown, love
He couldn’t help but be drawn to you when you were in the same room
He who was usually restless found himself more than once, there in his bed or in a couch doing nothing but cuddling
And it felt even better than reborn in a new body
But then when he thought he had discovered everything about this new feeling, he felt yet again something he didn’t conceive he could feel
It felt like a strong urge. An urge to be close to you more than he ever had been with you before. An urge to mate. An urge to be one with you, body and soul
One problem though… how to even approach you with this new desire of his ?
Would you find it inappropriate, uncalled for… or maybe too soon ?
He couldn’t even believe that HE was tiring himself to find a way to approach the subject with you
But little did he know that you too were feeling this strong pull towards him
Finally it happened naturally. You guys were cuddling in the couch like usual and he pulled you flush against him
He felt his body throb. It was it. He needed you now
“Y-Y/n ? I want-” he said, he sounded so unsure. Besides the fact that he called you directly by your name showed just his increasing need
“Orochimaru” you were breathless when you felt his bulge press against you “I want you too”
And it was all he needed to crash his lips on your. His arms circled you waits and you stumbled across the hideout - hopefully you were in his private areas, just imagine stumble on somebody in this state lmao - making his way to his bedroom
Both your hands working intensely and meticulously on pelling the clothes from each others body
But once he was here, on top of you, his body only mere inches away he froze. His thoughts were racing in his mind
Should he take a condom ? Could he hurt you ? So that’s what a pussy looks like…
The more the time passed the more he felt his urge growing. His body is tingly at places he didn’t know could tingle
As his desperate gaze locked onto your loving one he took a deep breath. You took his hand and helped him come back to Earth
You reached in the drawer and took a condom - that you bought yourself thinking that one day he would eventually let go of his inhibitions - and gave it to him
He struggled slightly to open it with how shaky his hands were, but he eventually managed to put it on. It felt weird ( I mean it should the first time right ?!? )
He went back on top of you and started wonder how he was going to enter you
But before he could think further he felt your hand gently stroking his hard length, making it twitch. He blushed furiously as he let out a groan. Not at all used to this type of contact
You reassured his with your gentle touch and your words of understanding as you guided him towards your entrance
His breath was shaky as he gently entered your warmth, inch by inch carefully not to cause any harm or unnecessary pain
His grip on your hips was vicious and it was surely going to leave a bruise or two
“Mmph… you’re s-so tight… ugh” he managed to say as he slowly started to grind against you
State of arousal allowed him to increase his rhythm and find a steady one that he tried to keep up
Though once he was fully comfortable something switched inside him. His grip grew stronger. And you felt him pin you in a possessive way against the mattress
His thrusts started to get deeper as he slammed his hips harshly against yours
He didn’t know what was happening and you on the other side were too much in ecstasy to care
The room filled with the sound of your lovemaking and your moans and groans
On the verge of climaxing he felt like his body was on fire
He bent down, still fucking you, and nestled his head against your shoulder, where his teeth sank
He was trying to desperately not to scream or moan as he felt the pleasure increase and increase
Then he felt it, the knot in his stomach bursted and he came hard, his hips stuttered as he filled the condom
His hips continued to move slowly against yours and he emptied himself
He didn’t have any more strength in his arms as he fell over your shaking form
“Fuck” you breathed out as your hands clung to his hips
You felt his nuzzle against your neck and gently lick the bite he did on your shoulder
He felt like he was on a cloud right now “I’m sleepy”
Your heart swelled at how cute he sounded “Just close your eyes my Love. I’ll be there when you wake up”
“Uh uh” he said his voice impossibly soft “I love you”
As he basked in the afterglow of his first time he kept thinking on how could you made him feel
He was sure that if he wasn’t this tired he would have gone for a second round right away. Maybe next time then
~
~
A/n : I hope you guys liked it ! 🥗🌮 Again my requests are open 🥞🍳
Taglist : @foxxymunson, @cl0vr, @ilovemanypeople, @glossy1pearl, @jane57sstuff
#naruto#naruto imagine#naruto smut#naruto shippuden#naruto shippuden imagine#naruto shippuden smut#orochimaru#orochimaru imagine#orochimaru x reader#orochimaru x reader smut#orochimaru smut#request#smut#miri-writes
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would looooooove a part two of enemies to lovers w hamzah <3
yesyes of course!
a/n : not proof read at all, and written half asleep. Will edit any mistakes in the morning! Let me know if you guys want anymore parts to this!
part 1 !
summary (pt 2): You and Hamzah haven’t talked since that night at the party. You’re unsure of what to do in this situation. After an awkward evening at a mutual event, you guys finally talk about it.
—— sfw ——
it’s been a few days since the party your friend forced you to go to. where everything with.. Hamzah happened. You still haven’t wrapped your head around it. You’re supposed to hate him so why were you so drawn to him that night.
He did help you and all but it had to be the alcohol right? Surely sober you wouldn’t want to kiss him. you hate him, you convince yourself. Everything has to go back to the way it was. You’re sure Hamzah has forgotten about that night anyways, he was pretty drunk too.
As you’re getting ready to go to Mandy’s house, you mentally prepare yourself. Mandy had mentioned Hamzah would be there, you didn’t protest though, he did help you out a lot so you can get on with him. You haven’t seen any of them since the party, so this will be interesting.
Tonight y’all are just watching a movie and chilling together. A movie.. that shouldn’t be so bad…. you just have to focus on getting the night over and done with, as peaceful as possible.
A few hours later you arrive at Mandy’s house, greeting them both. You look around the room and don’t see Hamzah so you assume he’s just not arrived yet.
“Sit down Y/n, we’re just making the popcorn.”
You sit down at the end of the couch, making small conversation with the couple, mentally distracted by what you’re gonna say to Hamzah. You haven’t been able to get that day out of your mind, that kiss..
Your thoughts are interrupted as Hamzah walks through the door. “You guys will never guess what happened on the way here-“ he pauses, looking over at you sitting on the couch. You look back at him, not sure what to say.
“Well hello to you too! what happened then?” Mandy says, briefly looking back at Hamzah before turning her back again to the pan. “Get along kids, we’ll be there in a minute.”
Martin laughs. Neither you or Hamzah say anything though, you just look at each other in silence. It’s not like usual though, something feels so different in the way his eyes focus on yours.
“Why are you both so well behaved today?” Mandy says, turning the stove off and coming over to the sofa.
“Nah, just too stunned at how ridiculous Hamzah looks in that shirt.” you fake laugh, shifting your eyes from Mandy to Hamzah again. You don’t want your best friends to notice anything’s different. Besides, you told Hamzah to keep everything about that night a secret, otherwise Mandy would worry and blame herself, so she has to think everything is as usual. Your eyes shift to Hamzah’s again, his expression making your stomach drop. He doesn’t bite back like he does normally, he just averts his eyes down to his hands.
A few hours pass, you’re all sitting on the sofa watching a movie. Neither you nor Hamzah really paying attention. You’re at opposites end of the sofa but the tension in the room can be cut by a fucking knife, the occasional eye contact driving you insane. How you feel looking at him isn’t the same as it normally is, you don’t feel repulsed by him, you just feel.. something? You don’t know yet, and whatever it is, it can’t happen.
“why are you guys so quiet today? it’s scary.”
Martin breaks the silence, looking at both of you.
“I’m tired.” you lie.
“Yeah, leading men on then shitting on them all the time must get reeeal tiring.” Hamzah spits out, looking over at you before looking down at his hands.
“fuck this.” You announce, getting up off the sofa and walking towards the door. “Thanks for the popcorn.”
“Wait.. is she okay?” Mandy asks worringly, looking between Hamzah and Martin.
“I don’t know maybe you should check on her?” Martin suggests, tapping on Mandy’s knee.
Hamzah scoffs before following you out the door, it doesn’t take long for him to catch up with you at the apartments door.
“What is wrong with you today Y/n?” he shouts, making you turn around to face him. Wiping the tears away from your face. Hamzah’s heart feels like it stopped at seeing you cry, and because of him?
“Nothings wrong i don’t know what you’re talking about Hamzah.” you reply.
“why did you run off?” he breathes, catching his breath.
“Leading men on yeah?” you sniff, rolling your eyes.
“Why did you kiss me Y/n?” Hamzah asks. “I thought maybe.. it meant something to you?”
“Why did you follow me Hamzah?”
“Because you’re acting weird.” he admits. “You can’t just kiss a guy, and then a few days later become a total ass. It doesn’t make sense. And I don’t want you to be alone, you seemed upset.”
“What makes you think I don’t want to be alone?” you step closer. “I couldn’t handle the energy in that room anymore, I had to leave.”
“I’m sorry Y/n for what i said. If you want to be alone tell me and i’ll leave, I just wanted to talk about that night.”
“There’s nothing to talk about Hamzah, we were just drunk.” you lie, you know it wasn’t just because you were drunk, you wanted to kiss him, like you do right now.
“it wasn’t just a drunk kiss for me though Y/n. It’s keeping me up at night. all i can think about is that stupid fucking kiss.”
“Hamzah.” you whisper. “We can’t.”
“So tell me to go.” he steps closer to you, you can basically feel his breath on your face. “Tell me, and i’ll leave right now and never talk about it again.”
You look up, meeting his eyes. “I-“
“say it Y/n.”
“Please.” your eyes shift down to his lips.
His hands move to your neck, pulling you into him, placing a long kiss on your lips. You close your eyes, savouring the taste of his lips. Your tongues moving in unison.
“I can’t stop thinking about it too.” You admit, looking at his face. “I’m sorry Hamzah.”
“What do we do now?” he asks, tucking a piece of lose hair behind your ear before taking a step back.
“I don’t know, i’ve never done this before.” you say looking down.
“Well in that case!” he says. “Y/n, will you go on a date with me?”
“Not if you’re wearing THAT.” you laugh.
“yes I will go on a date with you Hamzah.”
“next week work?”
“yea that works, but can we please keep this just between us for now? I don’t want anyone to know, considering we supposedly, you know .. hate each other?” you laugh.
“for the record, I never hated you Y/n. I hated how good you looked and I hated the fact I couldn’t have you.” he says.
“That’s cute… i’m pretty sure I did hate you.” You giggle. “I’m kidding! Should we like.. go back upstairs?”
“Nah, if we go back together they’re gonna ask questions, let’s go on our date right now?” he suggests.
“sounds good Hamzah.”
#hamzahthefantastic#slushynoobz#hamzah x reader#hamzahthefantastic x reader#hamzah#hamzah x y/n#hamzahthefantastic x you
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Meryta struggles with her fears, feelings, and putting words on paper.
Fandom: FFXIV | Words: 1553 | Read on Ao3
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
Meryta Khatin x Tansui | after The Key to The Castle | romance
Rating: Teen. Letter writing, longing, fear of death, fear of change, Alisaie friendship, dealing or not dealing with feelings
Letters and Longing, part 1
Meryta’s pen hovers over the parchment, frustration marring her face. The pen is frozen as she thinks, ink dripping on the page. She groans and puts the pen back in the inkwell, carefully mopping up the extra ink on the page. At least it didn’t ruin what she’d already written. The letter is a mess anyway, but she can’t fathom rewriting it, little as it is. It’s hard enough already. Not only are the words hard to come by, but the act of writing itself – the echo might grant her ability to speak and understand any language, but it doesn’t confer any scholarly skills, including letter writing.
After they returned from Dohn Mheg with the shell crown, a silent thanks to Soroban and the Kojin, she’d decided it was time to write a letter. Urianger had been pleased enough to supply the pen and parchment when she asked, his golden eyes kind. She is glad to see them. At any other time, her attention would have been drawn by how handsome he is, free of whatever caused him to hide before. But all she can think of is warm brown eyes and a dark beard, her thoughts returning to the Ruby Seas and to Tansui.
She wants to tell him – something.
They’ve been rushing, ever since they ran from Ran’jit in Lakeland. She’s not afraid of him, not the way she’s afraid of the Lightwarden, but to deal with Ran’jit she has to fight another Lightwarden.
She’d have to fight it anyway, or so the Exarch says. She’s afraid, and she’s not used to it. Not that she hasn’t been afraid before, but it’s been the good kind of fear. The fear that keeps on your toes, harnessed into a razor edge for the coming battle. Fear that makes you throw yourself into combat, teeth bared. No, now she’s filled with dread. She doesn’t want to fight the Lightwarden. She doesn’t want to see the sin eaters, the ones arisen from people lost. She doesn’t want to absorb the aether from the Warden, the Light overwhelming and itching beneath her skin.
The castle looms above the lake, glittering and beautiful and unreal.
Soon enough, they’ll rush away to find the last two artifacts, and with the post moogle improbably spinning in humming circles in Lydha Lran. It probably gets on splendidly with the faeries. She decided to write and send a letter while she still could.
She worries – she worries she’ll not survive, or change – or unable to stop or go to the Source. And when she left Tansui last, she... Well, she doesn’t want him to think she forgot about him, or that she doesn’t want to come back. Or she wants to thank him. Or tell him…
She groans again.
If you do not see me again, it is not for lack of trying.
That doesn’t quite encompass all she wants to say, and it’s not quite the right way to say it. So far, all she’s said is that she is alive and well, for now, and they’re trying to end another Lightwarden. She should perhaps tell that she’s with her friends, that they are hale and well – but it’s too complicated, too long winded, and besides he’s met neither Urianger nor Thancred. Yet it’s strange not to mention them.
I’m with more of the scions, my friends. I do wish to visit again, but if I don’t --
She tries again, mulling over the sentences in her mind. How does one spell scion anyway? If the Lightwarden doesn’t defeat her and the Light doesn’t – change her – will Ran’jit catch up with them? Will the faeries trap them here forever, chasing their artifacts? She wants to explain and to write a proper letter – but it’s a jumbled mess along with her thoughts.
“Hello, Meryta.” Alisaie, pulling out a stool and sitting across from her. “I thought you had already left.”
“I wanted to write this letter, but – words are eluding me.”
“A letter? For whom?”
“It’s not important.”
“It’s important enough that you’ve not yet left.”
Alisaie leans over, attempting to read it upside down. Meryta wants to cover it up, but it’s messy enough and she’s unsure if the ink is dry and she won’t ruin it more. She’s certain Alisaie has beautiful handwriting, like her brother.
“Tansui? The pirate?”
The embarrassment over her handwriting is not the only reason she wants to hide it.
“He’s a friend.” She feels like she should add something, but afraid it will come out defensively.
“Sure,” Alisaie says, interrupting her thoughts. “A friend happy to extort money from us, I guess.” She narrows her eyes. “But mayhap that’s not quite what you think of.”
She fights the instinct to hide, she can’t truly explain what he is, not fully. It’s not the times they’ve fucked, but the way he held her, last time she was there. How that makes her want to go to him again. How, despite her happiness to see her friends again, and her sympathy for the plight of the people here, all she wants is to rest in his arms again.
“I’ve visited and I –“ she stops, and freezes. Another thing she doesn’t want is to worry Alisaie, how her need to write is bound up with her fear that she’ll not be successful in the next fight. That whatever they do will not work, that the Light may consume her. She thinks of the other things she wants to tell him too, words of both affection and practicality stuck in her head.
“Feo Ul said he’d get the letters to the Source somehow,” she explains, backing up. “I want to tell him – at least to be aware of Black Rose and of the things Urianger saw in his vision. Be I’m not used to writing letters, and –“
Alisaie’s eyes soften, any judgement leaving them. “Mayhap I can help?”
She has never found it difficult to talk to Alisaie, and she shouldn’t find it so now. She’s not embarrassed, she’s perhaps just reluctant to both name her fears to those who depend on her, and to admit she ran from them. Or that – it would be easier to share if she understood her thoughts herself. She longs for the simplicity in visiting Tansu and the Confederacy, and that peace feels private.
“I would be glad.”
With her friend’s help she manages to compose something sensible, and not too long. Simply asking him, and the Confederacy, to be careful with any run-ins with Garleans and their cargo. She also tells a little of what has come to pass for her here on the First. She thinks he might find the faeries amusing, as long as he’s not on the receiving end of their shenanigans. A kinship of making people pay for their trespasses, perhaps.
“I miss him,” she blurs out at the end, wanting to add that too, needing to voice it despite her confusion. Her mind circles back to the notion that should she die or be unable to travel, would he know? That he should know he’s not forgotten, but that he means… something to her.
“You should tell,” Alisaie says. “I am not sure I’d name the Confederacy a steadfast ally, but – regrets can come too soon.” There’s something painful in the other woman’s eyes, the raw hurt unhidden.
“I’m sorry,” Meryta says. “If we’d been faster, if we’d – “
“She did what she had to do. It’s no need – it’s over now.” Alisaie shakes her head. “Please. I just – see to your letter. Mayhap I shall take my leave and trust you can write the rest without out my help. I surmise you’d rather it be so. And I think I’ve left my dear brother alone with the fairies a tad longer than he finds amusing.”
“Thank you, Alisaie.”
“Of course, my friend. Good luck with the artifacts. We will keep the Eulmorians busy.”
Meryta watches Alisaie leave, confident steps, her rapier ever ready. Meryta has no doubt about hers, and Alphinaud’s, capabilities. They will keep their pursuers at bay.
She does manage the rest of the letter, trying to shape her feelings into words, her mind occupied with the memory of brown eyes and calloused hands, and marks sucked into her flesh.
Tansui, I do not know if I will win this fight. I do not know if it will change me. I miss you. I wish to see you again. I hope to see you again if can. If I cannot know that I tried.
I would like to eat breakfast with you again. I long for it.
Satisfied, she seals the letter. At least he will know she did not abandon him, should her end come. The risk is always there, but somehow here, it feels closer than ever. Meryta shakes her head, and looks at the flowers in the blinding light. Her thoughts spin in circles.
Feo Ul and the post moogle is more than happy to accept her letter, exorbitant fee agreed on. One less thing to regret.
She doesn’t want to die. The castle on its high peak, pretty and bright. Most of all, she doesn’t want to absorb the Light of a second Lightwarden, a third, a fourth – how many are there?
She has no choice but to set out.
#ffxiv#ffxiv fanfic#ff14 fanfic#final fantasy 14#wol x tansui#she's trying!#I wanted to write of her fear too#this is really not a good time for her#everything is so pretty and she's so worried#meryta x tansui#woltansui#writing about meryta#meryta khatin#viking writes#published 2/11/2024
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What Does Real Love Look Like?
Tech x female!reader
(Now featuring a Part 2!)
Word Count: ~3.6K
Edit: I messed up, this totally calls the reader "woman" several times, I changed the description so it's clear it's a female reader! Sorry!
Summary: Reader likes Tech and struggles when they discover inadvertently that Tech and Phee are together. Ends happy though, I promise! Tech always pulls out his best for those he cares about, especially if they mean the world to him. Depicts an angsty but healthy budding relationship (between Tech and reader). Angsty fluff, sfw (will probably get a NSFW part 2 soon!)
TW: jealousy (reader jealous of Phee); no smut; reader learning to handle emotions in a healthy way with a supportive partner; reader is really struggling, emotionally, so very angsty, ends happy tho! Reader is noted to have had prior bad experiences with relationships - details not mentioned, just the feelings that come after a willing relationship that you realize after the face was, in fact NOT so great. Read the author's note for more info, please! I wrote this from my POV, and I totally did refer to the reader as a woman several times, sorry! I also mentioned the existence of a prior male lover for the reader!
Heavily inspired by @originalcollectionartistry’s 2-part fic Guess I Waited Too Long (1 and 2) which I highly recommend, because they had a good idea to process emotions about the Tech-Phee thing by writing them out! So, thanks for the inspo, friend!
Author's Note: I’ve been struggling since Tech and Phee became a canonical thing. I have always felt drawn to Tech, so it hurt to see another man that I liked stolen away by a woman that I felt did not deserve him (her introduction, the way she sat there throwing insults at each of the men and Omega - it is NEVER okay for an adult to insult a kid, in my book - and focusing on a trait that Tech rightly pointed out was not uniquely his, really bothered me). Don’t get me wrong, so far the writers have done a good job at depicting a healthy relationship budding between Tech and Phee, but I still don’t think they would be compatible. I might be biased though. I also realize it is not healthy to look at the situation from an “I liked him and I wanted him” POV. And Phee is turning out to be a much better person than she lets on at first. She just has to get used to someone and warm up to them to let them see her good side. I realize my dislike of her is probably somewhat unfounded. I tend to have very strong emotional responses to things - I need to be tested for a few types of neurodivergency, I am learning that frequent, strong, emotional responses are not a normal response to things. So, I wrote a thing to help me process it! It’s very self-centered. I have had some bad relationships in the past and I thought perhaps the best way to process them without forcing my next real-world partner to deal with them is to deal with them in a fic like this. FYI, this fic is also full of jealousy. Again, reader has strong emotional responses. I wish I didn’t get jealous, but I do, so I need to learn when and where it is okay to let that emotion out and when I need to turn it into something else. Also wanted to write something where Tech’s POV is written out in the way I imagine he thinks, similar to how I think. I have never been good at understanding emotions, I tend to stay quiet and just watch so people don’t scoff at my emotional responses to things, and I like to think that is similar to how he would process it. It’s from both reader and Tech’s POV, just for funsies! This is my first fic on here. I’ve been meaning to pack up the courage and just post something for a while now, and this one needed to be shared, my way of admitting my problems to more than just myself, so thank you if you bother to read this! It also hasn't really been edited well. I wrote and posted it all in one night, and now it's super late and I should get some sleep, but I needed to post it so I stopped bottling up my emotions. So without further ado, the story begins below!
You were in Cid’s parlor when the message came in. She shuffled out of her office already in a bad mood, complaining about how it had been more than 20 rotations since she had heard anything from her operatives and now she finds out they ditched her for Phee, finishing it with a frustrated “and you could even hear Goggles in the background calling her ‘darling’! It’s repulsive! And frustrating, the way they are taking to a life so different than the soldier-ing they were made for! They were my top team!”
You sat there in shock. Tech… calling Phee ‘darling’? Your heart which had been so heavy with worry about him and his brothers now lay on a million pieces right there in the middle of Cid’s cantina. The world around you was drowned out by the loudness of your own mind. Until a bottle was slammed down on the counter in front of you.
“What’s your problem?” It was Cid. “I just asked if you wanted to become my top specialist, and you still look like you’re at a funeral.”
You ignored her and stared into the empty glass in front of you, mind still reeling, barely able to process the words coming out of her mouth.
“I warned you kid. He didn’t like you like you thought he did, now did he?”
“Guess not” you muttered more to your glass than anyone else.
“So what’ll it be, another glass to celebrate being a free woman again? But if you’re going to mope, don’t do it here. I don’t need someone to bring down my customers. So either order another drink or go home, kid”
Without another word you got up, tossing a few credits on the counter, and left.
Back home, you cried yourself to sleep, promising yourself a vacation in the morning. You had enough credits for some time off, and you were going to use them.
After a few weeks of searching (they had once again changed their comms), you finally located the batch on Pabu, and went to ask Hunter if he could tell Tech goodbye for you. He begrudgingly agreed, but then (probably rightfully) double crossed you, and sent Tech onto your ship to talk to you. Hunter was right, it wasn’t fair of you to ask him to play middle man, you needed to face your problems head on.
Tech found you in your ship’s small living quarters that functioned like a one-room home for you, and you both stood in shock and silence, staring at each other for a few moments before Tech addressed the bantha in the room.
“Hunter says that you wanted to say goodbye?”
“Yes.” Your answer was short and curt. Tech recognized it as anger, though it was not an emotion he was used to hearing from you, especially not directed at him. You were holding back from him.
“Why have you become so distant from me? We are friends, are we not?” Tech asked.
“We were.” You answered.
“Why has that changed? Have I done something to insult you? If I have, please trust that that was not my intention.”
“I know.”
Tech raised his eyebrows and held still, waiting for you to continue. You still hadn’t really answered his question, and he knew you were aware of that. But he was also aware that you seemed to be struggling to find the words. So he remained quiet, giving you time to answer.
“Tech… why are you doing this? Phee is out there. Why aren’t you out there too?”
“I… am no longer with her.”
You just stared at him in an apprehensive silence, now it was your turn to wait for him to continue. It wasn’t like Tech to be anything but long winded. His short answer stunned you.
He looked at the floor. He could no longer make eye contact with you. Words failed him.
“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, Tech. But can I ask you a question?”
“Yes.” He still couldn’t raise his eyes to meet yours, though he did turn towards you. His eyes still trained on the floor, but stealing glances at your hands, which were nervously fidgeting.
“What do you mean, you’re ‘no longer with her’? I just want to be clear on it. As previous experience has taught me I’m not as good at reading you as I thought I was.” You looked away.
Tech’s eye’s shot up to you in shock. “I do not recall an instance when you could not read me.” It was almost whispered.
You shook your head, still refusing to look at him. You couldn’t tell him your feelings for him, not now.
“So Wrecker and Hunter were not toying with my emotions when they told me that you like me?”
You turned your head towards your shoulder, still looking down, and gave a curt nod. Some part of you screamed that Tech had practically admitted he liked you, but your insides were too torn apart to process it properly right now. So instead you looked away again. Focusing instead back on the floor in front of you.
“Phee has good moments, but her endless determination to warp the truth in her favor and downplay the important contributions of others, including that of Omega, is not something I find acceptable. So I left.”
You finally looked at him. Stepping forward, you reached out a hand to touch him, but quickly pulled it back. It still didn’t feel right for things to go back to the way they had been with him.
“Please don’t pull back” he was watching your hands. “I want things to go back to the way they were before. I don’t want to lose you. I did not realize that much was at stake or I would have acted differently.”
“I’m not sure things can go back, Tech.”
Tech would not take no for an answer. He accepted you might be right, that things could not go back to the way they were, but that did not mean they could not improve. He racked his brain for an alternative answer.
Touch. You, Hunter, and Phee all had one thing in common: when people were upset you would reassure them with physical contact. Actually it went beyond simple reassurance, touch was quite a common occurrence with you. So he decided to try it now. He reached out and put a hand on your shoulder, albeit a little awkwardly. But your reaction was not one he was expecting.
You gasped and flinched away.
He retracted his hand. Watching in shock as you again turned away, this time out of his reach. You gripped your sides tightly. Your sides heaved. You were trying not to cry.
“Did Phee teach you that?” You asked, and the pain in your eyes made him unable to look away.
“I noticed that you, Hunter, and Phee all…” he stopped. When you heard her name your hand moved from your waist to cover your mouth and nose. You did not want him to witness your crying. But you could not hide your breathing patterns.
A hug. He knew that would help. And he needed to finally feel you close to him. So he began to shed his armor and stack it neatly to the side.
You heard him stacking it and thought he had gone back to work. Simply to ignore you like every guy you had ever been with had done in the past. You turned to leave, but we’re stopped by a pair of arms appearing slowly on either side of you, hovering a few inches away from you.
“May I touch you?” His voice was so small and timid, it was all you could do to keep your emotions inside. “Please?”
You nodded. His strong arms wrapped tightly around you. And his nose found refuge in the crook of your neck.
This was new, but as comforting as it was, a part of you hated that this had to start with her name attached to it. You didn’t want to hate her, she seemed nice when she let people in. But you weren’t sure you could ever really forgive her. Even if Tech hadn’t been yours, and the decision was up to both her and him, but not you. There was no holding back the tears now. Your head hung, your shoulders slumped, and the tears flowed. Tech, hung on tight. He didn’t know what else to do. Eventually your tears subsided, leaving behind shaky breaths in its place.
His nose left your neck, as he tucked his chin into it instead. “Mesh’la” he whispered.
You scoffed, “don’t you start with that. People only ever use that to get something they want from someone, it never actually means you think I’m pretty. I’ll calm down in a few minutes. You can leave if it bothers you so much.”
There was silence, but he refused to let go. He was struggling to process it all too. He only ever said things if he meant them, and you knew that. He knew you knew that. But he also knew how blinding emotions could get. It happened to him on occasion too.
“I don’t need your pity, Tech. Pity, or sympathy, or whatever you choose to call it, it’s the same thing. I never helps people grow, it only ever puts people beneath you. Do NOT call me that out of pity. Only ever say that if you really mean it. To me or anyone else. It is not a comfort word. Okay?”
“You know I would never say something unless I mean it.” His words were only ever gentle and kind. He rarely ever even raised his voice when he was mad. Another thing you adored about the man.
You bit your lip. Angry at yourself for your outburst.
“I’m sorry,” you muttered. “Truly.”
“I accept your apology. Though I am slightly concerned about your previous partners if your statement is a reflection of your past experiences?” You were quiet. “But that is a discussion for another time, if you are okay with that. For now, back to the matter at hand, why can we not pick up where we left off? I wish to be more than just friends with you this time too.”
“Again, we can’t, it’s not the same anymore. I don’t have much to contribute to a relationship.”
“Yet, you had prior experience with relationships, I did not. Now I do. I do not see how that is a bad thing. Is it not a good thing that we are on more even footing now?”
“Not all experience is good experience, Tech.”
Tech’s heart broke. He had no idea that your prior experiences were not to your liking. His blood boiled at the idea that your last partner had not been aware of what he had. But he did his best to contain the anger, you clearly needed his comfort, not his anger right now.
“I wanted to share the gaining of experience together. With you and only you Tech. Now that’s not an option. Now every time I look at you, I see only what she… what you experienced with her.”
“You are jealous.” It was a statement, not a question. But there was no judgment in his tone. Merely an attempt to understand why you were upset.
“I thought that, with you, I could maybe find a way to make my past experiences something I didn’t hate anymore. I wanted a chance to share the little that I do know with you, because then I would have something to share with you. But now it’s safe to say you definitely know more than I do. I really struggle to learn while dealing with such strong emotions. And my experience is a less than adequate match for what you have no doubt learned from her. I thought perhaps we could gain more experience together. It would have made me feel better if you were learning beside me. Now you have experience… and I… I am left behind… again. I felt like my last relationship left me with less of an understanding about what makes a guy tick than I started with. I know it is unfair to have ever held you to that, though. I’m sorry.”
Tech still wasn’t good at feelings. He knew that. But he needed to make sure you knew that he was still the same man you fell in love with. And he hated watching the tears run down your face. “I will never leave you behind.”
“And that’s the problem, Tech. I wanted to learn together. I don’t want a partner to have to teach me everything. I’ve been the partner that has to teach the other person, not sexually, but otherwise, and it’s really draining. I can’t ask you to do that for me.”
“We can still do this without it becoming ‘draining’, as you say. Every person has different necessities in a relationship. There is nothing wrong with having needs, everyone has needs and limits. We can still learn each other side by side. This relationship does not have to be like your last, we can actively choose to make it different.”
You were quiet. You couldn’t protest that.
Tech's signature half smile graced his lips. You were his equal in mind, and that was one of the many reasons he loved you. But there were still moments where he could outsmart you, because that’s life.
“I’m still me. I’m still new to this too. I still want to learn with you. If you’ll have me?” He asked, one hand sliding around the arms curled at your waist, until it found your hand. Fingers slowly and gently threading themselves between yours.
You smiled and nodded.
“Would it be easier for you if I did not use the knowledge I learned while with… Phee?” He wasn’t sure if he should even mention her name. The last thing he wanted was to upset you more.
“No!”
Tech flinched at your abruptness, but looked at you with curiosity.
“Don’t make yourself into something you’re not for me. I love that you’ve learned more about relationships, it just hurts that it wasn’t with me like I had hoped. I just need your patience….. a lot of patience, while I process that… among other things. I know that’s a lot to ask—”
“—No.” It was his turn to be abrupt and firm. “And I am more than discontent that your prior relationships left you feeling so inadequate. I just want you to feel comfortable being yourself around me. I’m still not very good at emotions either. Again, there is nothing wrong with having needs, so long as those needs are communicated. Everyone has boundaries and experiences they’d rather not repeat. Can we agree that communicating to the best of our ability is paramount, no matter how difficult it may be?” He pulled back and stepped in front of you, putting both hands on your shoulders as he spoke.
“That sounds like a good idea to me. I can’t guarantee that I will always be able to put words to what I am feeling, nor will I entirely understand it myself. And it may take me a long time to get used to the idea that you were with someone while I still loved you.”
“We are both only human.” He stated. “You know I will also be in the same boat in terms of emotional processing, but you needed to hear me say it, didn’t you?” He stepped towards the chair and sat down.
You nodded. “Like you said, clear communication from the start, yeah?”
“Yes.” He replied. He opened his arms to you, offering a hug.
You gave a watery smile, and stepped towards him, pressing your nose into the collar of his shirt. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you to the bed and then into his lap. Holding you tight in an attempt to comfort you and show you how much you meant to him. He couldn’t bear to see you in pain.
“Can I ask you a question? You have no obligation to answer if you do not wish to do so, nor do you need to respond today if you do choose to answer it.” He asked, mirroring your question from the beginning of the conversation.
You sniffled “yes.”
“Would I be correct in assuming your last relationship left you feeling inadequate sexually, and/or beyond the bedroom?”
You held your breath and gripped him tighter, curling into his chest even more than you already had. Trying to make yourself smaller. You didn’t know how to answer, or even if you could find your voice if you wanted to try to reply. It was all you could do to focus on breathing steadily, though each breath had gotten decidedly shaky. But he didn’t need you to say anything. Your body language was communication enough in that moment, as was your behavior leading up to this moment. The answer to both questions was yes. He gripped you tighter in return.
“I am so sorry that happened to you. I will not bring it up again, unless you wish to talk about it. Though I must say I am rather angry at your last partner for leaving you like this. I want you to know it is not your fault, and I will do everything I can to support you through this. I cannot solve it for you, but I do not think you need me to do so, you are a very strong, brilliant woman already. I merely wish to be by your side to see you succeed.”
“And here I promised myself I would not start a relationship in tears. I have a tendency to let my emotions get in the way, I’m sorry.”
“There is no need to apologize. I merely wanted to gauge how I should proceed. Do not worry, I will not treat you like a delicate ornament, I am well aware you are strong and capable. Everyone has moments where they need to take some time to themselves and let emotions out. I am glad you feel comfortable around me again, enough to let me see your emotional side. I love this side of you just as much as I love the rest of you, because it is as much a part of you as all the other pieces. Please do not let my presence stop you from letting it out if that is what you need to do right now.”
Your grip on his shirt loosened slightly. “Thank you” you mumbled into his chest, sniffling again.
“Now, we’ve both done a lot of emotional sharing tonight. What do you say we get some rest and take this as slow as we need to?”
You nodded.
“Please let me take care of you tonight, Mesh’la. I wish to show you my love through my actions as well as my words.”
“Okay.” The gleam was returning to your eye, and it made him happy to see you regaining some of that spark that he loved so dearly.
He placed you down on the bed and began gathering all the pillows and blankets he could find and bringing them to the bed.
“I realize you didn’t want to start a relationship like this. However, I have heard that it is beneficial to be best friends before a relationship begins?” He posed it as a question rather than a statement. It was his way of asking whether this train of thought was one you were willing to pursue with him.
“I’ve heard that too.” Permission granted.
He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he handed you a pillow to hug.
“Will you let me comfort you like a best friend would? And then perhaps we can get a second chance at starting a relationship in a more positive manner in the morning?” He returned with one last pillow and sat down beside you. You turned to him and opened your arms, asking for a hug. He obliged with a happy smirk.
“Thank you, Tech. That means a lot to me.” Your grip on him tightened, and he came to realize this was not a scared grip, but a grateful one.
“Will you stay with me, tonight?” You whispered into his shoulder.
“In the same bed, by your side?” He inquired, gently. Clear communication. Your heart soared. So that’s what understanding looked like. So many times before you had been promised clear communication only for you to come out the other side realizing that partner didn't really know what that really meant, or to feel like they had been making fun of your need to communicate everything instead of asking politely as Tech had just demonstrated.
Tech could feel you smile into his shoulder.
“Yes.”
“I shall.”
He lifts the covers and gets you both tucked you in, noting your insecurity and struggle with letting him care for you. You're not used to being treated like this. He doesn’t like that. You have always done so many small, caring things for him. He feels like this is the least he can do for you. One last tear trickled down your cheek, and he kissed it away. Perhaps that was not what a best friend would do, but he loved you more than that anyways and you knew that now. Besides, it made you smile, that was what mattered.
Things would be different this time. Things would be better this time. Tech was not like your previous lovers. He was observant and communicative, and you loved that part of him dearly. There was still lots to talk about, but it didn't all need to be processed in one sitting.
Please don't steal my work! I pour my heart into these so if you like it please reblog to share instead of reposting it!
#tech x reader#tbb tech x reader#tbb tech x you#tbb tech#bad batch#the bad batch#bad batch tech x reader#tbb tech x reader comfort#bad batch tech reader comfort#tbb tech x reader hurt comfort#zenith writes
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A (not so) Brief Study Into the Nature of Deltarune
TL;DR:
For some time I've been quite intrigued by the appearance of some very particular leitmotifs that Undertale's and Deltarune's OSTs have in common. This took me down a rabbit hole that ended with the realization that it's quite possible that DR Sans and UT Sans are one in the same, and the Reset Theory on Deltarune is probably right.
This forces me to believe that Deltarune is a prequel from the perspective of the characters, and a spiritual sequel from the perspective of the Soul/Player.
The Pre-Sequel Theory
First and foremost, pardon my english. I'm quite proud of my english skills, but it's not my first language and sometimes I mess up.
This is a LONG post. There's a lot -a LOT- of text and no images at all to ease the reading. I advice jumping into it only if you don't have anything better to do for a bit. The PDF I firstly wrote this on is 6 and a half pages long.
Index:
Motivations.
Clues in Undertale.
Clues in Deltarune.
The Delta Rune.
Conclusions.
Problems with this theory.
Blood (This part is skippable).
Discussion of the problems.
1 Motivations:
I've always been fascinated by soundtracks and ever since Undertale came up, its soundtrack wasn't an exception.
More recently I've been a bit more focused on the leitmotifs that Toby Fox uses in both game's soundtracks and, as many people have found, they share a lot of common themes. For many of them it's easy to understand why (for instance, for common character's themes, like Sans') but for some others it's not so much.
Having a more or less clear relationship between the games through the music, I tried to study the nature of this relationship, and what elements outside the music can be used as proof of this connection. This got me to Sans ,because of course it did.
Trying to justify this took me down the rabbit hole that theory crafting around Sans has always been, and the musical side of my reasoning ended up being a small part of the whole thing. Regardless I'm quite happy with the result, albeit it's not free of problems that I'll address and discuss at the end.
I'd like to also thank @determinators, who's incredible character analysis on Chara inspired me to write this whole thing.
With that out of the way, let's begin by talking about small details that Undertale gives us and hints to it being connected to Deltarune in some way:
2 Clues in Undertale:
There’s a lot of non-music related hints that point towards a possible connection between both games in Undertale. I tried to make a small summarize of all the most important signs I’ve found.
To begin with, there are a couple of small details that show that Sans Undertale seems to have quite the interesting backstory, these being:
Both him and Papyrus appeared one day in Snowdin, seemenly out of nowhere.
In Sans’ lab there’s a broken machine and a poorly drawn picture of 3 people we don’t recognize with ”don’t forget” written on it.
Sans insists a lot about about how he gave up trying to go back (somewhere, sometime, or both).
On the other hand there’s the famous Gaster’s Entry 17, that could imply some knowledge of the Dark Fountains by the former Royal Scientist. Gaster related as well, there’s Clam Girl, who mentions a monster named Suzy. Soon before the release of Deltarune, in the Switch version of the game, Clam Girl would turn grey and says that the time to meet this Suzy ”... is fast approaching”, before disappearing with the sound Mystery Man makes when disappearing himself. Although Suzy is not written the same way as Susie, there’s no reason to believe that Clam Girl is not talking about Deltarune’s Susie. This not only hints to Undertale and Deltarune being connected, but to Gaster being behind the whole connection, since Clam Girls turns into a goner sprite and disappears the same way Mystery Man does. I know Mystery Man is not confirmed to be Gaster, but it’s definitely related to him in someway.
There must be something going on with Papyrus as well, since he’s Sans’ brother and comes to Snowdin with him, but in Undertale he doesn’t seem to know as much as Sans knows. This could mean, since Papyrus doesn’t bleed, that Undertale Papyrus and Undertale Sans are not the same kind of being, and don't share a past.
2.1 Sans’ lines during combat:
During the fight against Sans, nearing the end of the Genocide Route, we get some clues about his backstory within his lines of dialogue. He begins, after the Player’s first attack, by saying:
our reports showed a massive anomaly in the timespace continuum. timelines jumping left and right, stopping and starting...until suddenly, everything ends. heh heh heh... that's your fault, isn't it?
We don’t know who is he working with, but it seems they know very well about the power to control the timeline, since they were monitoring it.
Sans continues with:
knowing that one day, without any warning... it's all going to be reset.
look. i gave up trying to go back a long time ago. and getting to the sur-ace doesn't really appeal anymore, either. cause even if we do...we'll just end up right back here, without any memory of it, right?
to be blunt...it makes it kind of hard to give it my all.
Here we get a bit more information. Sans is -understandably- depressed about the whole reset situation, but mentions ”going back” somewhere. We know it’s not somewhen since he doesn’t remember earlier timelines -besides the occasional déjà vu- and it’s not the Surface because he mentions it right after that line. So, where else would Sans be trying to go back to? It can’t be anywhere in the Undertale world, since he can move freely through the Underground - even through teleportation- and he specifically states that it’s not the Surface. Thus it can only mean somewhere outside the Undertale world.
A bit after that he continues with:
all i know is... seeing what comes next... i can't afford not to care anymore.
What does he mean by ”seeing what comes next”? He doesn’t know the future, nor what the Player did in other timelines. So, what is he seeing? I have no clue for what he could be referring too, but I do think that the answer lies within Deltarune’s story. We’ll have to wait for future chapters to know.
2.2 Sans’ secret lab:
After Sans gives the Silver Key -which appears to be a reference to a book about timetravel by H.P. Lovecraft- to the Player, we can access the Secret Lab hidden underneath his house. Inside of it we find:
A covered up broken machine.
Blueprints for a machine written in un- readable symbols.
A badge.
A photo album with:
A picture of Sans, happy, with other people the Player doesn’t recognize.
If the Player already fought Asriel: A second picture appears, showing Sans, Frisk and their friends.
After the v1.001 patch of the game, if the Player has talked to Clam Girl and knows of Suzy, from the back of the photo album sticks out a poorly drawn picture of three smiling people with the words ”Don’t Forget” written on it.
The first three items, although interesting, don’t give us much to work with. The machine is covered up and the blueprints are unreadable. The badge could become another huge hint in the future, if during Deltarune’s festival Sans happens to win a badge for winning at something, but this is purely speculation so I won’t be taking it into account.
The pictures and the drawing, on the contrary, give us much more information. Let's discuss them a bit more in depth:
2.2.1 The photo album:
By the time the Player gets the Silver Key, possibly after the battle with Asriel, they (and Frisk) have met every main character in Undertale’s story. Thus, the people in the first picture, who neither the Player nor Frisk recognize, can’t be anyone we know. They could be people from other places in the Underground Frisk hasn’t met -although from a storytelling perspective this doesn’t make much sense- or they could be from the Deltarune world -which makes a lot more sense storywise-.
Furthermore, there’s the poorly drawn picture. Since this picture only appears after talking to Clam Girl, a character heavily tied to Deltarune -specifically to one Deltarune Character-, and it has the words ”Don’t forget” -words that don't mean anything special in Undertale, but are extremely important an present in Deltarune from the very beginning- written on it, it’s safe to assume that the three poorly drawn characters are a trio from Deltarune. Due to Frisk not recognizing them, they have to be characters that only appear on Deltarune. What trio of characters do we know from Deltarune that fit these characteristics? I’m fairly sure Kris and Susie are two of the three, but the third is a bit more complicated. My first suspect was that it was Ralsei, but since he’s a darkner and we don’t know if darkners will be able to get to the Light world somehow, nor if Sans will end up in a Dark world; I’m more inclined to leave that third character’s identity up for debate. My other candidate is Noelle, since Berdly dies in the Snowgrave route of Chapter 2 -and Toby Fox likes to keep all possible endings as canon- and we don’t know any other important lightner that doesn’t appear in Undertale as well.
3 Clues in Deltarune:
Since we have just 2 chapters -out of Toby knows how many-, not many hints to Undertale appear in the second game. Still, much can be said from the leitmotifs that can be heard in the game’s soundtrack, which was the main motivation for this analysis.
3.1 A brief introduction to leitmotifs:
*This part is skippable if you know what a leitmotif is*
To those who don’t know, a leitmotif is a small piece of melody that appears many times in a composition, and is associated to someone, somewhere or an idea. Examples of this are the main themes of characters: a recognizable simple melody that is associated to a specific someone-For instance, the melody in Nyeh Heh Heh!, which would be Papyrus’ leitmotif-.
Soundtracks are rigged with leitmotifs, and neither Undertale’s nor Deltarune’s soundtracks are an exception. Since each one is associated to a specific character, place or idea, the use of the same ones in both games is something to keep in mind.
3.2 Leitmotifs that appear in both games:
The first song that plays inside the world of Deltarune, in Chapter 1, is Beginning, which has 2 leitmotifs in it: Once upon a time -from Undertale-, and Don’t Forget, -from Deltarune-. This second leitmotif appears in several other songs in Chapter 1, and in some of Chapter 2.
The song that plays in the menu after you finish Chapter 1 is called Before the Story, which has the exact same melody as in Once upon a time. This leitmotif is one of the most -if not he most- used in Undertale’s soundtrack. For me, it’s kind of the ”Undertale theme”, for how much it appears in the soundtrack of the game -same as Don't Forget would be Deltarune's theme-.
There are some other Undertale leitmotifs in Deltarune’s OST that I won’t be taking into consideration. These are the character’s leitmotifs, like Sans’, and other that represent important emotions like determination, despair and hope-These leitmotifs are a bit difficult to recognize if you’re not deep into the music side of the games. Determination can be heard, among others, in Undertale’s Determination and Deltarune’s Rude Buster; Despair corresponds to the melody in Undertale’s Burn in Despair, and appears in Your Best Nightmare, Vs. Susie and at Queen’s basement, right before the Spamton NEO fight; and Hope is sometimes called ”Snowdin’s theme”, which appears in Undertale’s Snowdin Town and Hopes and Dreams -thus why I prefer to call it Hope’s leitmotif- and in Deltarune’s A Town Called Hometown-. These leitmotifs being in both games is to be expected, since they either represent common characters or common emotions to both games, so they're not really relevant to the theory.
Going back to the theory, the use of ”Don’t Forget” as a title for the most present leitmotif in Deltarune is a bit on the nose, taking into account the poorly drawn picture in Sans’ Secret Lab. The soundtrack acts as a constant reminder to not forget -pun intended- that drawing. But this isn’t the only insinuation Toby’s left in the game’s music. There’s another, much obscurer clue, it being the name of the song Before the Story. Since it plays in the menu only after you play Chapter 1, it can’t be referring to ”before the story” of Deltarune, since that story has already begun. So, what if the Story is Undertale’s? If so, since it uses the most important leitmotif of Undertale in a song called ”Before the Story”, this would imply that Deltarune’s story happens before Undertale.
3.3 Non-musical clues:
How the Player interacts with the world seems to also indicate a relationship between games. Specifically those lines that point to the Player knowing characters -or things about characters- that Kris doesn’t know yet. This in and of itself is not enough to prove that the games are a direct sequel and prequel of each other but, in combination with everything else already discussed it does add to that idea.
4 The Delta Rune:
Both the appearance of the Delta Rune in both games and its name are big indicators of this connection between games. Even though in Undertale it’s not known what its original meaning was, there’s a prophecy that sounds remarkably alike to the Delta Rune Legend from Deltarune. In Undertale there are two interpretations: either the Angel will murder all monsters, or free them all from the Underground. Additionally, in Deltarune, the Legend Ralsei tells us says that the Angel is to be defeated by three heroes: two lightners -a human and a monster- and a darkner.
Since the Delta Rune is older than written history in Undertale and it’s original meaning was lost to time, that one of the 2 interpretations for this symbol is so close to the Legend Ralsei gives us, with an evil Angel instead of a benevolent one, could mean that, originally, both Runes had the same meaning behind.
5 Conclusions:
With all this in mind, I’m quite sure now that at the end of Deltarune Sans will end up being stuck in Undertale’s world, possibly using the machine he keeps covered up in his lab. Since Papyrus doesn’t seem to be much different to any other monster in the Underground I don’t think he comes from Deltarune’s world, so I fear a tragic end for the Papyrus we’re yet to meet.
This ending would make sense of the whole ”Your choices don’t matter” thing. The Snowgrave route seemed to contradict this statement but, if just Sans is going to Undertale, whatever you do on Deltarune’s Universe won’t matter to Sans’ end. Undertale’s story is already written and the end we got will remain untouched, as Toby said. This also implies that our actions don't matter to Deltarune’s world end too. This, plus the possible death of Papyrus, points to a violent end of the game. Being blunt: I think the Roaring is inevitable.
But if Deltarune is a prequel, how is it that the Player recognizes the characters that both games have in common and it’s advised that the game is played after Undertale? I believe the game is a prequel from Sans’ perspective, and a spiritual sequel from the Player’s. The Player, being the meta-being that it is in the games, doesn’t need to abide by the same temporal rules the characters are forced to follow. Thus there's no contradiction in Deltarune being a prequel to Undertale.
6 Problems with this theory:
To prove this theory we need for Papyrus to die and the Roaring to happen. It’s a grim condition, perhaps too much so that I don’t see Toby having a dream about it and deciding to dedicate the next +10 years of his life to make a game about it; or perhaps it's just the kind of dramatic and emotive ending that would motivate someone to do exactly just that.
UT Papyrus seems to not know anything about his brother’s possible past in another world, and acts as if they had been together since forever. They both appeared one day in Snowdin and his past seems as mysterious as Sans’, but they can’t be directly related since Papyrus doesn’t bleed.
I don’t know how will Sans get to Undertale’s world (my guess is Gaster, but he’s a bit of an easy-way-out in theory crafting).
Naming a song doesn’t need to be a very thought out process, even if Toby Fox has a tendency to be very attentive to details. The name of Before the story could just be a synonym to "Main menu".
Grillby’s. Sans’ convenience store, ’Sans, appears to have the same façade as Grillby’s in Undertale, with the name of Grillby rubbed off. This small detail is a possible proof against the sequel thesis, albeit it could just mean that Hometown had a Grillby’s before Sans’ convenience store and it closed down for some unknown reason.
It’s debated whether monsters from Deltarune have magic or not. There are some indications that they do have magical powers, but for some reason seem to have forgotten about them and it’s been left as an obscure thing very little people know about. Anyhow, Sans does have -very powerful- magic powers in Undertale, so this uncertainty could disprove the whole theory.
7 Blood.
*This entire part is skippable, after reading the TL;DR*
TL;DR: As always, blood seems to be the biggest issue around Sans’ theories. To summarize, unless we get undeniable proof that DR monsters do bleed in some way before turning into dust, Sans bleeding could be a huge weak point for this theory.
Before I finish this post, I'd like to address one of the biggest conundrums in Undertale: Sans' blood. Throughout the post I've gone with the assumption that Sans can bleed without proving it in anyway.
It’s fair to say that Sans does bleed in Undertale before turning into dust outside the screen, and he’s the only Undertale monster that does. We know he bleeds because he does it from the mouth as well, far from where the Player cuts him, which would only happen with regular bleeding around a digestive system rather than with ketchup stored in his rib cage. But, is there any indication that Deltarune monsters bleed?
This is highly debatable, but there are some unused sprites that show Susie bleeding. Even though they are unused, why would Toby Fox make them if the thought of bleeding monsters wasn’t in his mind? There’s a monster kid - not the Monster Kid- that asks Kris if it hurts to be made of blood, which implies that monsters are not; but the bleeding Susie sprite is a huge indicative that Toby had this idea of monsters bleeding in Deltarune.
Regarding the ”everybody bleeds” quote, in the Japanese version of the game Susie doesn’t mention blood but ”wounds”, using a word in no way related to blood or bloody wounds. Because of this, the quote is probably just a figure of speech. It’s a bit odd that a monster would use a figure of speech that mentions blood, but it’s probably because the script is written by a human, for humans to read; or that she comes from a human community, as some have hypothesised.
7.1 Berdly’s death:
Anyhow, monsters in Deltarune do seem to turn into dust after they die. Gerson, for instance, had his dust buried with his hammer, following a similar funeral ritual to that of Undertale. But Berdly, who is presumably dead after Chapter 2 if the Snowgrave route was taken, didn’t. At least, not for a long time, from after he died until Kris, Susie and Noelle leave the Librarby.
The toy in the hospital’s waiting room appears to confirm to Berdly’s death, since one of the blue beads breaks off after Snowgrave -this means there's more than 1 blue bead, possibly 2: one for Berdly and one for Kris-. But can we be certain that this means death? We do know this toy symbolizes the state of the game: the beads’ colours are the same as the main characters’, it’s said that they each ”march along their set paths", reminding us that our actions don't matter, and in the end of Chapter 2 - if nobody died- it says that the beads "march on". Berdly’s coloured bead being broken and off the rail after Snowgrave, and him appearing to ”not be awake” in the Light world indicate the end of the road for that character. It’s safe to assume that this detail does confirm that he dies after Snowgrave. But if so, how is it that his body didn’t turn immediately into dust?
In the Neutral route, Berdly’s arm gets burned and, after the Dark Fountain gets sealed, his arm doesn’t seem to respond. It’s not burned, just not moving. From this we can assume that injuries in the Dark world have physical manifestations in the Light world. This explains why Berdly is just dead and not frozen after Snowgrave. But it also could mean that he’s not completely dead, but fallen down, a comatose fatal state. This could mean that the broken bead does means certain death, just not right away. If so, then there’s nothing pointing to Deltarune monsters being any different to Undertale’s in nature, other than their apparent lack of magic powers, and this whole theory crumbles to dust -pun intended-.
As always, blood seems to be the biggest issue around Sans’ theories. So, to summarize, unless we get undeniable proof that monsters bleed in some way before turning into dust, this will keep on being a huge weak point in this theory.
8 Discussion of the problems:
Regardless of these problems, including the blood one, I still believe that this theory holds. There’s enough evidence to back up the thesis. Even if monsters don’t bleed in Deltarune, it’d make perfect sense for Sans UT to be from this world and not Undertale’s.
Nevertheless, if the blood problem isn’t explained through Deltarune, new theories will have to arise to explain why Sans is so different from any other monster.
Furthermore, if bleeding is not something Deltarune monsters do, then it’s possible that UT Papyrus is the same as DR Papyrus, like Sans, since the main reason for that distinction was that Papyrus didn’t bleed. This would imply an ending a bit less grim for the skeleton duo, although the inevitability of the Roaring still looks unavoidable to maintain the whole theme of the game: ”Your choices don’t matter ”
#Undertale#Undertale Theory#Deltarune#Deltarune Theory#Sans#Papyrus#Susie#Ralsei#noelle holiday#kris dreemurr#Toby Fox#This took me a lot longer than it should have#I might have a slight problem with these games#deltarune chapter 1#deltarune chapter 2#delta rune#gaster
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An Examination of Joseph Cullman’s Childhood
Okay, while I don’t want to make a habit of answering twitter asks here on tumblr, this got my brain buzzing, and I want a little more room to ramble than in a tweet thread.
Before we get started, the lovely artwork I’m using for this post was drawn by Sauce/Jambeebot and was posted on their public twitter before it went down. As always, I’ll gently remind you not to post any of the private pictures from the SnaccPop Studio patreon. It’s only $3 to sign up, and it really supports this engaging game. Also, consider joining the Sunny Day Jack kickstarter, but hurry since there’s less than 2 weeks left to get the rewards.
Quick warning, Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack is an Adults Only game, so there will likely be some mature themes discussed. At least one image I use will depict a person committing self-harm while being encouraged verbally to do so. Take care when indulging in this fandom.
Also, before I begin, I want to tag @channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars. If you want to be tagged when I make these headcanon posts, please let me know!
Oh, and while I’m at it, please let me know what you think about my SDJ fanfics, Sunshine in Hell and Sunshine in Another World. Thank you!
With all that out of the way, let’s get down to business.
First, let’s list out the facts we do know about Joseph’s childhood that are canon according to the official Sunny Day Jack twitter.
Joseph Cullman was (presumably) born in 1959, according to this memorial marker.
He attended Haberdae High School until he ran away during a school day at 12pm.
He traveled on foot and was last seen by train tracks.
He would be 63 years old at present day.
He got into trouble at school on a regular basis, as evidenced by comments on this disciplinary report.
Joseph had a habit of skipping school to the point that it seemed to frustrate his teachers.
He carried around a lighter and a small knife.
He “smelled of smokes” (cigarettes).
The disciplinary report was written on August 23, 1973, around the start of the school year.
He was given a 1 month in-school suspension.
The teachers were given permission to search Joseph’s belongings before class.
Joseph had changed his last name to Haberdae when he got the part of Sunny Day Jack.
As an adult, Joseph is concerned about putting children “in a bad position,” or something to that effect.
Joseph stated that he got his tattoos when he was in high school when he, “didn’t know any [better].”
The show’s psyche and development consultant made these assessments about Joseph at their first meeting:
Consultant: I’m willing to bet that you had a very hard life growing up. For someone so young to be so defined(?) in themselves and to lash out like that, making permanent adjustments to their bodies in order to stand out… You wanted attention, didn’t you? You wanted to be seen and heard and felt and loved…
Consultant: I’m sure you especially understand what it’s like to, say… have a parent or guardian tell you that they love you, right? But, maybe even as young as, say… six, you could tell that they didn’t really mean what they were saying.
So far, there’s no information about Joseph’s biological family, or about any friends he may or may not have had at any point during his childhood. The only relationship we get a glimpse of is the (presumed) frustration of the teacher writing the disciplinary report, as suggested by the use of excessive exclamation marks and the phrasing used.
Students in the USA attend high school at ages 14-18. Given that Joseph was born in 1959, and the report was made in 1973, it’s most likely that he was 14 at the time the report was made.
The punishment for his behavior was to put Joseph on an in-school suspension for one month and allowing teachers to search him before class begins.
What is in-school suspension? Well, here’s an definition I found:
In-School Suspension (ISS) is a behavior management program for student misbehavior aimed at keeping students in school to complete their work while being isolated from the rest of the student body. ISS is used as a school punishment for infractions that are not severe enough for suspension but require behavior remediation. Students who are in violation of school rules and regulations can expect to be temporarily assigned to the ISS classroom where they will be supervised by school personnel or a teacher.
From all this, we have a brief glimpse at the timeline of Joseph’s high school life. Right at the start of attending Haberdae Highschool, he was skipping classes, presumably to sneak off to smoke, as he was found smelling of cigarettes with a lighter and a knife on his person. There were no cigarettes on him when he was caught.
Joseph had frustrated his teachers, and his behavior resulted in him being isolated from his peers for at least a month with an in-school suspension. At some point after this report, he ran away from school during lunch and hadn’t been seen by anyone who knew him since then.
This immediately makes me think of a piece of art where Jack said certain things that stood out to me.
While technically this picture isn’t canon due to it not being in the game or on the official twitter, I think the things Jack says here connect directly to his experiences in Haberdae Highschool. What’s also telling is that there are two styles of font - the more easily read white on red text, then the more faded and smeared text.
What’s interesting is on the Patreon, this image was voice acted and was slightly modified. While I won’t share the video file here, I’ve been told that it’s fine to discuss what is seen on Patreon, so I’m going to do a quick transcript.
...
(panting, out of breath, sounding like he's speaking through faint TV static)
There we go!
That wasn't so hard, was it?
It's all done now.
You won't ever hurt them again.
(more breathy and composed)
Isn't that nice?
Aren't you glad?
It's for the best, I promise.
You just aren't special enough for them~
(slightly tense but still "cheerful" tone)
This is the right away~
(more breathy, quieter voice)
You're so worthless.
You can't do anything right anyways.
You're just a burden to the whole class.
I'm sorry, but you failed.
I'm clean now.
Don't ruin this for me.
(no static filter, normal speaking voice, tense yandere tone)
They don't need you.
I'm the only thing they'll need... forever... and always.
(knife slice)
...
I highly recommend joining the patreon to listen to the audio for yourself, as the transcript doesn’t give the marvelous voice acting justice. Jack is very chilling in this audio.
This picture suggests the duality of the cheerful Sunny Day Jack persona conflicting with Joseph’s core feelings and issues. The former is written in the more bold text, more confident and almost “cheerfully” delivered as if he’s trying to keep acting like the teacher he played on TV. The latter is delivered in almost a whisper to himself, as if he’s projecting things that once were directed at him as Joseph to this unknown victim.
I suspect that Joseph was told, among other things, that he was “worthless,” “a burden to the whole class,” and that he “just can’t do anything right anyways.” Given that the last known class he attended was high school before he ran away, it would seem to be these were things teachers said to him. If he’s projecting these words on people he finds, as his profile might suggest, “inferior,” then that suggests how he felt about himself at this age... or at least that’s what others labeled him as.
It also suggests many scars from Joseph’s childhood are still lingering to this day.
This paints a strong picture that Joseph was disliked by his teachers during high school. Whether or not he acted out earlier during elementary or junior high is difficult to speculate, but it’s unlikely these behaviors started on the first day of the new school year.
I’d like to take a quick look at this picture of young Joseph (along with fully grown Jack). While the canon of this picture must be taken with a grain of salt, it does suggest a few things. Joseph is roughed up, his clothes scuffed, he’s covered in bandages, his clothes have a patch on them, and he shows a rebellious attitude, sticking out his tongue and flipping the bird. He gives the impression of a typical “punk” teenager.
If the consultant’s assessment was accurate, then Joseph, when younger, acted out to get the attention, most likely the attention of his parents/guardians. This suggests that his parents/guardians were neglectful of him and his needs. They paid lip service to being his caretakers, but in the end didn’t actually care about him at all. This sort of neglect often leads to kids lashing out in order to get some sort of attention. After all, bad attention is still attention.
The game takes place in El Paso, Texas, where the SunnyTime Crew Show was filmed, but that isn’t necessarily where Joseph is from. It’s hard to say how far his hometown is from El Paso, but either it was a good distance away... or the people in his hometown weren’t trying very hard to find him.
According to the interview with the reporter, the SunnyTime Crew Show was “inescapable” and “everywhere” with Jack being regarded as the “leader,” otherwise regarded as the face of the show. The reporter commented, "I'd put money on you being the crush of at least half of the housewives across America who tune in." This implies that the show was broadcast nation-wide and was very popular, which suggests to me that, even though Joseph is still actively listed as a missing person, no one is cared enough to really look for him.
This ties into the themes of Jack being deathly afraid of being forgotten. Joseph was ignored unless he lashed out, only to be isolated from others as punishment, and even as a missing person with his face plastered on televisions, lunchboxes, books, and other merchandise, no one bothered to look at Joseph even after he ran away from home as a teenager.
All of this paints a pretty bleak picture of Joseph’s childhood, one devoid of love or affection. It’s no wonder he’s so desperate for it now and why he’s abandoned his previous identity for one that was actually cared about and remembered... until the studio buried his memory, of course.
#Sunny Day Jack#Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack#SunnyDayJack#sdj#swwsdj#Headcanon Ramblings#Ask#Transcript#Sauce-y Art
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☽ Smut 18+ MINORS DNI!!! (Most of not all my work contains adult/NSFW content, so you might as well move along)
♡ Fluff
➳ Angst
**Disclaimer: Everything written here is intended to be read as complete fiction with utmost respect for the real people these characters may be based on. I do not know the guys personally and don’t intend for this to reflect on them as real people in any way.**
* 2023 Important Blog Update *
Series:
Tears of Rain ☽ ♡ ➳
Living in a small, New England town, daily life was rarely ever exciting for you. It lent comfort and peace with few neighbors, beautiful nature and scenery and a calming reliability with each new day. Things were starting to feel a little stagnant and lonely for you despite how much you enjoyed living here. One summer morning a beautiful stranger might have changed everything for you.
Boys of Summer-wip ♡ ➳ ☽
It’s the summer of 1986 and you find yourself starting your first job on your own. You were drawn to the beaches of Ocean City in search of a new start, expecting to fill the days enjoying whatever the coastal town had to offer. You find yourself thrown into a world you couldn’t have anticipated and the memories made were sure to last a lifetime.
The Perfect Treat - wip (Josh x f!reader x Danny) ☽
Your boyfriend, Josh decides to propose the idea of sharing with you for the evening with his best friend.
Skin Deep - wip (Josh x f!reader x Jake)
TattooShop!Au
One-Shots:
Over Your Ex, Under His Brother ☽
friends-to-lovers
You had just recently broken up with your ex-boyfriend, Jake, who happened to be the twin of your best friend. One weekend afternoon Josh stops by to spend time with you after being distant for weeks. Feelings emerge to the surface and things start to happen as your little smoke sesh together becomes more than you expected.
Backseat Ties ☽
strangers-to-lovers
After being dragged to a lackluster night planned at a bar, a handsome and charming stranger pulls you into an unexpected turn of events for your evening.
Praises and A Punishment ☽ ♡
Overworked and overtired, it’s become clear that you’re in need of a break. Things have been stressful lately, and you were guilty of not giving your boyfriend and you the attention your relationship needs. After spending a wonderful morning together, you find yourself in a compromising situation with Josh.
Picking Favorites ☽ ➳
enemies-to-lovers
You were in the midst of putting together a small birthday party for you best friend, Jake, when you got the news that his twin brother would be attending as well. Once good friends, your relationship with him had soured to the point of hatred over the years. How was the night going to end when he threatened to ruin it?
Don’t Be Shy, Baby ☽
You always enjoy taking care of your loving, hard-working boyfriend every chance you can, even when he just can’t seem to wait for you.
Two’s a Crowd, Three’s a Party ☽
friends-to-lovers
Your best friend takes you out to one of the Kiszka’s house parties one night against your better judgement. Through some playful flirty banter, things start to take a wild turn where you would least expect them.
Looking Glass ☽
Your boyfriend has always been sweet and loving, but something about the stage brought something out in him. A FaceTime call before a show took an unexpected turn, and it might have changed the dynamic of your relationship.
Blurbs
Untitled
Series:
Boys of Summer -wip ♡ ➳ ☽
Embrace of Venus - teaser , Part 1
Skin Deep - wip (Josh x f!reader x Jake)
TattooShop!AU
One-Shots:
Unwind ☽ ♡
You came home after a long night at work, exhausted and disappointed that you missed out on an evening together with your boyfriend, Jake. He decided to surprise you with a night of loving treatment and attention, soothing away the stress you had built up through the night.
A Quick Dip / Part 2 ☽ ♡ ➳
After fighting the idea for months, you finally give into your mother’s persistence of inviting you to your childhood vacation for a weekend at the beach. It also gives them the opportunity to meet your boyfriend, Jake, for the very first time. Just as you expected, things do not go as well as you might have hoped.
A Little Neighborly Advice ☽
strangers/neighbors-to-lovers
Your eyes instantly caught the sight of your new neighbor in your building. Thinking he might not be interested, you tried your best to avoid any embarrassment. However, one evening things seem to change…
Brittle ☽ ➳
Frustrated with the way things are going with Jake, you decide you have to confront him on how your fwb relationship wasn’t working.
Skin Deep Masterpost
Tattoo Shop!AU x f!reader x Josh
Blurbs/mini one-shots
Sweet Dreams ☽
Vanity ☽
One-Shots:
The Perfect Treat (Josh x f!reader x Danny) ☽
Your boyfriend, Josh decides to propose the idea of sharing with you for the evening with his best friend.
The Perfect Treat II
…Soon to be announced
The Halloween Collection
Collaboration with @ageofnations (formerly @allieboop)
Josh Pumpkin Spice ☽ ♡
Danny The Number One Rule ☽
Sam No Trespassing ☽
Jake The Devil’s Little Secret ☽ ♡
Asks, requests and inbox are always open!
NEW TAGLIST FORM*
#gvf fic#gvf smut#josh kiszka smut#gvf fluff#josh kiszka#josh kiszka fanfiction#jake kiszka fanfic#danny wagner fanfiction#josh kiszka series#fanfic#jake kiszka smut#danny wagner smut#Josh kiszka fanfic#josh gvf#josh kiszka fluff#jake kiszka fluff#greta van fleet fic#greta van fleet fan fiction#greta van fleet smut#gvf fanfic#josh gvf fic#gvf fic series#jake gvf smut#Josh gvf smut#greta van fleet series
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Walk right in all you sinners and saints!
❗️For commonly asked qs please see my BTD FAQ
Rire messes around casually on Earth regardless XD He would find Halloween an amusing time of human frivolity (well, more frivolous then it used to be anyway. Therein also lies the amusement in how it’s changed/evolved over the years), and would flit around people watching as per usual. And of course, his own little in-joke.
By vintage :B Also special souls have their own place.
Personally i say it similar to the end of “solution” so more like loo-shyen.
(This is not the actual proper pronunciation for the name, just the one I use lol).
Hello and don’t worry your q was quite well written! Though it took me a few moments to realise you used “he” in the context of an MC haha. Succinctly, Rire’s charm (or at least the way he uses it) is very suggestion based so people believe that something is their own decision. As such they retain their personality due to this illusion of free will. Of course, Rire can suggest something completely out of character for someone, but the point is they wouldn’t notice this until later, if at all.
Oh sure he’s def had a number of diff looks (though his hair will never be too short, like Baby BTD! Rire is the shortest it will ever get lol), and whilst the black/yellow is his signature pref he does wear other colours too. I’ve drawn him as such occasionally :D
Here is one i prepared earlier
Go for it live! Live your dreams!
1) like ‘darks’
2) I’ve surprisingly been asked this q more than once which does make me wonder why?? No one asks if I own Strade even though I prob doodle him alongside Rire more than Cain lol. Anyway no, Cain is still EP’s charac and I just ‘borrow’ him for scenes sometimes.
I often get asks like this about whether Rire will find [x aspect of a person] interesting and all I can say that’s not in my FAQ is that it depends a lot on what the person in question has to offer in terms of entertainment value (according to whatever criteria Rire has in mind at the time). Simply having a trait is not what he would find interesting - it’s in how you use it ✌🏻
(Thanks very much!)
Yes, yes it is
Link works alright for me?? Maybe Tumblr had a weird hiccup for a bit?
Lbr, Rire is 100% more mis-specied than he is misgendered |D But to answer your q, yes.
Oh man he would make so much money
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I wanted to try to do some short comics for the otgw au but couldnt come up with any Situations to put ben and diego in. so here they are not-talking about their trauma instead lmao
(also thanks so much to @sharkneto for the ID!!! my brain is fried i couldn’t have written that up today on my own)
[ID: A two page comic titled FIVE, starring Ben and Diego from The Umbrella Academy, drawn in the style of Over the Garden Wall.
Page 1:
Panel 1: Viewed from above, Diego and Ben walk along a dirt path with fall grasses and shrubs to the sides. Diego wears a black outfit with a black, knitted cap on his head that has yellow eyes and triangular ears on top so that he is dressed like a cat. He looks angry. Ben wears a white shirt and brown pants with green, orange, and yellow scarves wrapped around his neck to act as tentacles for his costume. His expression is neutral. He carries Mr. Pennycrumb in his arms, who is a small and yellow dog with floppy ears.
Panel 2: Diego is in the foreground, unhappy and his hands in his pockets. Ben is behind him, eyes closed and looking very content to be holding Mr. Pennycrumb. Diego says, “Why do you even still take care of that thing?”
Panel 3: A close up on Mr. Pennycrumb dangling in Ben’s arms. His eyes look in two different directions and his tongue sticks out. He is adorable.
Panel 4: A close up on Ben and Mr. Pennycrumb, viewed from slightly below. Ben says, “Because he’s Five’s.”
Panel 5: Diego and Ben walking with fall foliage behind them. Diego is slightly ahead of Ben and is glaring as he looks back at Ben. Diego says, “Five doesn’t care enough to stick around, and now you and Vik are saddled with it.” Ben asks, “Why do you hate him so much?”
Panel 6: Diego stands with his arms raised over his head in exasperation, mouth open wide to speak. He says in a series of three speech bubbles, “I don’t hate it! It’s just dumb! And useless! And now we have to look after it when Five couldn’t be bothered to!”
Page 2:
Panels 1 and 2: Ben holds Mr. Pennycrumb and looks down, hurt. Mr. Pennycrumb looks especially googly-eyed and cute. Ben says, “You don’t know that.”
Panel 3: Diego and Ben walking, Diego still in front of Ben. Diego is still angry and his hands are in the air again and his mouth is open wide to yell. Ben is also angry, with his eyebrows low. Diego says, “Well he’s not here now, is he? He left!” Ben says, “You don’t know that either.”
Panel 4: Diego is gesturing angrily and exaggeratedly with his arms. He says, “You and Vik are so convinced something bad happened!”
Panel 5: Closer in on Diego’s face. His eyebrows are low and his mouth is open wide. He says, “He’s fine! He wanted to leave!”
Panel 6: Diego and Ben have to climb over a thick, mossy log that lays over the dirt path. Diego is halfway over the top while Ben is still on the other side, only the top of his head and his feet visible behind it. Diego glares and says in a series of four bubbles, “He told us he would, then he did. And he left his shiny new dog behind and you and Vik are going to take care of it until it dies.”
Panel 7: Diego has climbed over the log and is in the foreground, walking and still angry, his arms outstretched to gesture. Ben is small in the background, just getting over the log with Mr. Pennycrumb still in his arms. Diego says, “Or until you go to college.”
Panel 8: Diego is viewed sightly from the back, looking over his shoulder. His expression is flatter and mean. He says, “And Dad drowns it or something.”
Panel 9: Ben stands alone in front of the log, Mr. Pennycrumb dangling in his arms. His expression is blank. Mr. Pennycrumb’s eyes are extra googly again. He is adorable as always.
Panel 10: Viewed from above, this time from slightly behind so we look at their backs, Diego and Ben continue walking down the path, the log behind them. Ben says, “You’re such an asshole, Diego.” End ID.]
#tua#the umbrella academy#ben hargreeves#diego hargreeves#five hargreeves#doesnt appear but its about him so im tagging it#mr pennycrumb#srsly thank you so much shark this is so much work that i just didnt have it in me to do <33333#my art#ben and diego get stuck in the woods#<-reminder that that is my otgw au tag
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oh my god I honestly just realized really clearly in my mind that having sex when you have that particular brand of evangelical purity culture trauma is a CYCLE. a tried and true trauma and shame CYCLE. and if nobody has written about this yet I’ll be damned. we should crowdsource the first anthropological study of it right here. I’ll go first.
**mind you this is my interpretation of the cycle when you are willfully trying sex but are still stuck in the “sex is bad” mindset. so I guess it’s pretty specific. it’s the cycle that happens when you have the evangelical belief that sex is bad/scary/etc but end up consensually having it anyway
this is what I think the trauma + shame cycle looks like:
1. you avoid sex at all costs because that’s what you were trained to do. you believe that it is usually bad, scary, or some other terrible thing you’ve been taught
2. you’re drawn to or pushed toward sexual contact with another person for some reason. it can be anything: curiosity, peer pressure, interest in your own pleasure, wanting someone to like you, leaving the fold, etc. Whatever it is you’re willfully (although sometimes under some pressure) making your way toward sex but still wary of it
3. you get too close to sex and then you’re having it!!!! oh dear god!!!!! whoops!!!! oh god it feels so good?!!?!!!?? but this is really bad???? I’m so confused but my body feels so good oh god what is happening what do I do my brain is turning to mush!!! usually this stage goes on for me until I:
4. orgasm
5. post nut clarity to the maximum level. immediate stop you in your tracks guilt, shame, terror. the feeling that comes over you when you realize what you’ve done, what inhibitions you’ve gone against, the most epic level of failure you could have possibly achieved. that’s what you feel you just did
optional 5.2. well I did it whoops so doing something similar can’t be that much worse hehe I’ll just keep having sex for a little while it’s nice I enjoyed it. this step seems to have an adjustable length ranging in time from a few minutes to weeks or months
6. you eventually come to terms with the “horrible thing that happened,” fully believe that it ruined your life, feel like a failure, swear off sex again, etc
REPEAT!
the thing about the cycle is that practically every fucking time you’re having sex with a new person, experiencing sex in a new way, or even just experiencing it at all period—EVERY TIME feels like that same first time. the crying. the shame. the horror at yourself and your failure. the feeling of being the worst person in the world. the continued cyclic trauma of always believing you’ve done something terribly wrong and ruined your life or your body or your promises to yourself. like it’s so obviously a cycle that builds and builds upon the trauma and shame felt the first time.
I don’t know yet how to crack out of it, but I feel like maybe one good way to do so would be to try to purposefully restructure your own beliefs about sex. For me, even after leaving evangelicalism, I always believed that nothing good ever came from sex, that it cluttered my head and caused me to make bad decisions, that it felt bad and made my self-esteem plummet, etc etc and it’s not that all of those things were lies, it’s just that they were all totally informed by evangelicalism. If I can take a step back and see that SEX DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY—it does not have to be all bad, an ending, a failure, a painful event, a taking away, a loss, a struggle, a ruination, etc—then maybe I can start to pave a way toward replacing those old painful beliefs and traumatic experiences with newer and happier ones. If I let those old things control my life forever, I’ll continue repeating this painful cycle surrounding sex
#mine#sex therapy#exvangelical#religious trauma#sexually repressed#ex christian#ex fundie#purity culture#christian purity culture#this is so interesting honestly I wonder if anyone has studied this stuff#ex fundamentalist
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