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#I will die willingly
sequentialprophet · 11 months
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ATHENA VS WILLOW NIGHTINGALE
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elllteo · 1 year
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What's the matter? Lives flashing before your eyes?
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turtleblogatlast · 19 days
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months
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A friend pointed out how in this post, Mobei Jun looks like he's wearing a shirt, opening up the avenue for him to have been secretly stuffing his bra this whole time. The scandal of it all needed to be exposed.
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captsirknight · 9 months
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Thinking about a debut or die au where Cheongryeo finds Gunwoo in every life. Sometimes they’re friends, sometimes they’re lovers, sometimes Gunwoo is just another face in the crowd who takes pictures of him. Whether he gets to know Gunwoo or not in a particular life is irrelevant, his presence alone is an anchor.
Then one day Gunwoo isn’t there. Maybe it’s a performance that Gunwoo never misses or an event that he’s always at. Where his presence is soothing, a balm to Cheongryeo’s worsening insanity, his absence is gut churning.
At first it’s not that bad. Cheongryeo can rationalize it away as ‘I did something different that caused him not to make it.’ It’s not as if Cheongryeo won’t be able to see him next time.
And then he doesn’t see him at all.
Cheongryeo searches of course. He looks up his name and gun123 and even tries to call him. The only hint that he can find of Gunwoo are his fancams. It’s like looking for a ghost.
But he continues on. He completes mission after mission. He thinks, maybe, that Gunwoo is just another thing he has to lose in order to finally finish. And he finishes. But he finishes alone. There is no going back. There is no restarting his career to reach further heights. There is no Ryu Gunwoo.
Then he meets Park Moondae. And maybe he can do it all one more time.
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lizandreil · 1 year
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andrew and neil love each other so beautifully, never facing away from each other and their demons, learning to trust when it’s probably one of the hardest thing for both of them.
the way neil trusts andrew to hold all of his secrets secure and not shy away from every ugly truth neil has to reveal. the way andrew trust neil to stop when he needs him to, to shield andrew from the rest of the world when it gets too much. the way andrew trusts neil to watch over his family. the way they are both broken by so many things but so whole for each other. the way they are learning to be tender with each other when they never knew tenderness in their lives. the way neil’s first intention was to let andrew protect him and fight for him and in the end it’s neil who would give up anything to make sure andrew is safe. the way andrew pretends so hard he doesn’t care about anything but he cares for neil so deeply and so intensely it makes him angry with neil because he’s breaking andrews walls. the way everyone called andrew an uncontrollable monster but it was neil who told andrew “i want to see you lose control” perfectly knowing how composed andrew actually is and how much he holds back. the way neil was trying so hard to stay unnoticed and forgotten but was the center of andrews attention since the very beginning. they way neither of them thought they’d have this and get to love and be loved. i just. i just love them so much.
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also i just wanna give a quick note to ppl bc I’ve seen this happen before when characters commit suicide- please be careful how you phrase posts about them having a happy afterlife/being happier/ect. like that is not necessarily a bad thing to do but you do have to be careful. q!jaiden commited suicide. she chose to die to the nuke due to her own grief and trauma. now obviously stuff just depicting her chilling with the dead eggs and server members is fine, but specifically framing it as her being better off dead due to said grief and trauma or framing it like she could never heal or be better alive can be extremely triggering to people with suicidal ideation. obviously out of universe we know jaiden has said she'd make it more angsty if she was alive, but in-universe the idea that q!jaiden could only be happy through killing herself is just like. potentially very harmful.
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mayashesfly · 24 days
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Every time I'm graced with RadioStatic and StaticMoth Angst, you KNOW I'm going to make the ugliest noise known to man.
I would wheeze scream wail whistle like a fucking dying kettle because DAMN is the Angst so good with these ships
I want to eat them and hug them and chew them in my mouth
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send-me-a-puffalope · 3 months
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Elizabeth's 🥺😢 face is what made me fall in love with her in the first place
-🐝
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if a girl pulled up to me with these soggy ass eyes, sorry to everyone else because whatever you say ma’am
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moeblob · 3 months
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So uh. Eventually I'll stop drawing these guys so obsessively but not today I guess.
(DND AU where it's just these two, Brent, and Paul on a life mission to annoy Chris the GM by having the pact of "we're only here for Karen's benefit")
Karen is a warlock, Right is a cleric, Paul is a paladin, and Brent is a bard (so he can use bardic inspiration on Karen).
#my characters#fun fact i was watching a trio of streamers do tier lists and i saw them do a tier list about their streamer friends#and they all voted on how the person would die in dnd and the funniest thing to come out of it imo#was the difference of SELF SACRIFICE and under it FORCIBLY SACRIFICED#like who would take one for the team willingly and who would be disposed of with majority vote#then they added an executed for their crimes spot under that so while they were debating some guy they settled on#he was the one that initiated most of the forcibly sacrificed ideas and that means he was eventually executed for his crimes#which ... was really funny to distinguish#the point is thats karen in this non existent campaign#she is here to mess people up and then use her allies as scape goats and they all just go well that sucks peace out im on the chopping bloc#and chris is getting more and more distressed over the fact YOU GUYS CAN LITERALLY TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF IT#but they really dont talk their way out of it like he wants#they instead are like ok cool so im gonna pretend like i didnt see karen kill that guy#and shes like i mean it was an accident i didnt MEAN to kill THAT guy#which is why they all vote to not see it and not bring it up RIP that guy#i saved this canvas as A WARLOCK AND HER CLERIC#which is honestly fitting#anyway i wanna draw fanart again at some point but my joy is stored in the ocs rn#i dont play dnd i just listen to one person talk to me about dnd and thats enough#oops i fell in love
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brookheimer · 1 year
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okay i think i’m alone in my shiv take LOL i’m going to hush up for a while and see what people are saying and think on the ending some but right now i just… do not understand the last 30 or so minutes from shiv’s perspective and the last 10 are downright baffling. trying very hard not to feel like succession just 180’d everything that’s been good about the shiv writing this season (and in general but esp this season) but every time i think ab the last tomshiv scene my stomach turns grotesquely
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chocmuffinsscones · 6 months
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BKDK endgame theory
Another highly self-indulgent theory on how bkdk's gonna be endgame canonically
Disclaimer: Since I don't wanna jinx it or feel embarrassed for being so brazen about this mere silly thought of mine, I'll just keep this private until if things similar to what I've predicted became true. Otherwise, this will only be for my eyes alone. - edited 6 Nov 2023
Fuck all of that guess I'm just gonna put it out there and let y'all have fun as I embarrass myself. Just think it's all for lolz if none of these happen, at least I have fun writing to indulge my fantasy - edited 8 Nov 2023
So, what I think is that since hori's gonna keep giving us surprises and +u up his own game, my guess is that to clearly and subtly lock the pair without making it feel forced is to make bkdk make a promise to each other that hinted a lifelong warrant. Refer this to what toga said in her arc
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It's not exactly a love confession, but what'll you feel if someone promise to dedicate their whole life in making you feel happiness, loved? I think that's love disguise in a glass case
So, how's this gonna parallel to our favourite dorks who're both so emotionally constipated and verbally poor at confessing?
Me thinks that, apparently when the boys were pushed to the extremes -- to the moment when there's literally no time affordable to think of anything else besides the most important thing they hold in their life, that the moment their body has to move on their own by instincts -- we'll finally get to see, bright as day, where their true feelings lay.
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As far as we've seen, it has been clearly revealed (except for those who're illiterate or in a dilemma of spiralling denial) that on katsuki's side, Izuku's the one constantly haunting his head for the rest of his 10+ years. He'd jump into battle with him, rush in front of him to avert the blow, fight in pain to stay relevant in izuku's battle -- to the point of fighting to his death to protect his seniors and to yet remain as izuku's image of victory... all these, to atone his mistakes in mistreating Izuku.
Throughout his character growth, Katsuki had been to the extremes. What are the most extreme situations if not death itself?
After that, however, we see katsuki came back with his heart fully open (pun definitely not intended!), feelings more outwardly shown, saying thanks sincerely without hiding behind his explosive demeanor, smiling straightforwardly at his favourite idol AM 🥺
Katsuki had met his breaking point, met death itself, and came back a new man. A man who wanted to change before everything was too late. As soon as he woke up, he didn't waste time hesitating to allow further regrets, showing gratitude and humility whole-heartedly in any instant he should've done like any decent human being would.
Except, there's still one thing he hadn't yet achieve to reach a complete circle for his narrative.
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Pre-war, Katsuki's biggest dread, the constant looming threat choking around his neck, was being unable to be honest and sincere to Izuku.
"But wait! He'd already stated his apology, he has no regrets left!"
Well, if you have that complain, you're not understanding katsuki well enough. Katsuki is a man of action more than his words. It's quite a common habit for Asians too to put more thoughts into action rather than just spewing beautiful words. And Katsuki, through and through, was an all-in-or-nothing kind of guy. He would never stop at just apologising. If his prior intention for reconciliation was to make himself feel better, then the integrity behind his actions and words was nullified, since that would undoubtedly negate the whole building up of his character's motivation. Moreover, it would become a huge flaw in horikoshi's writing as that would depict him in a "fake hero" spotlight as well as contradict the character's self incentive to be the bestest hero there is. I wouldn't bet hori would decide to ruin his writing like this. In fact, this is such a huge plot point for katsuki's character development that such a small blunder at this point would greatly affect the whole endgame story dynamic to his readers. Not that he'd care if he really did chose that path... I mean 🤷🏻‍♀️😬
Anyway, personality-wise, I'd say Katsuki would be the first person to hate that particular kind of people if he sees one. He'd definitely be disgusted of himself if he were one. That's why I wouldn't bet hori will make that blunder, because hori had been writing him as an incessantly growing character, relentlessly pushing his limits to be the best and always showed his results through visible actions.
So then, back to the point, what were left to do if he had already apologised? What more does he need to do then to further compensate?
:) As I've mentioned earlier, nothing beats the offer of a lifelong compensation, of devoting one's own time and energy willingly to the other as long as they need, or provide care and attention whenever they deserve.
"Wait. What does that even sound like tho? Doesn't that seem like a huge burden to bear??"
For Katsuki however, it's as per usual: all in or nothing!
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A promise that hinted lifelong devotion though... That truly sounds like a heavy dedication to carry for the rest of one's life. Doesn't that kind of vow ring any bells? That's the only conclusion I could come to unfortunately. Because Katsuki is a perfectionist, he'll never aim at only atoning his mistakes for a "measly" 10-20 years.
But then, at what kind of situation he would promise a life-binding oath like that out of the ordinary?? Knowing our boys, there's no way they would open their ironclad mouths to say something as romantic as that out of the blue, right??
So here comes my prediction❗❗
📢 warning: take everything below with a grain of salt because at this point it's just me wildin' haha
Evidently, it's been awhile we're constantly warned about Izuku's lack-of-oxygen crisis. He was still fighting sAFO alone while Katsuki came back to focus on AFO himself.
There's a few ways things could go south from there. Afo could very well be dealt by Katsuki now with extra buffs(his new cluster moves), but Izuku was still in an unknown critical state. So while Katsuki busied himself distracting afo, Izuku could somehow got sucked into sAFO's vestige space in a moment's hesitation (or something happened that sucked him into vestige space). We might finally get our vestige space fight between Izuku and tenko & OFA vs AFO, or we could get a heartwarming talk no jutsu (as well as some sprinkle of action fights) between Izuku and Tenko. And all of these played out without the involvement of Katsuki -- as he's stuck in the physical world and is still dealing a rampaging afo. The dudebros would be happy about this. Finally they had a chance to laugh at us at being clowns for wanting katsuki's involvement in the vestige fight. But remember, hori is a troll through and through. He could troll us, he could troll the dudebros too. It's our temporary loss for not getting Katsuki fight beside izuku in afo vestige space, but we'll have something better later!
Because while all of those happen in the vestige space, apparently Tomura and Izuku's body will be out of it, falling to the ground and seemingly lifeless, out of consciousness to the eye of the people in the physical world.
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I can imagine Katsuki having no time to spare while dealing with Afo as this happen. He's got to finish AFO first to get back to Izuku. And I promise you it'll not take too long for him to do that, 'cause it'll be a combo attack from IN and OUT as Izuku counter both Afo and tenko in the vestige space -- but it'll feel a bit longer in Izuku's pov as timeflow seems to be slightly different in there.
Anyhow, as Katsuki was done with afo, what do you think he'll react then when he reached a passed out Izuku? When he arrived to the scene of Izuku and Tenko on the ground, Izuku probably temporarily *not breathing* and motionless. *not breathing due to the setback of gearshift
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Katsuki will be shocked and traumatized. After spilling his heart out to win AFO with/for izuku, how could he stand to win the battle if Izuku wasn't there to claim victory alongside him? He would hold Izuku's hand and kept calling out to him (maybe angrily or threatening but the words are sweet and all of it are very contrasting?👀), calling for his soul to come back. Surely he would start crying and confess all his regrets even more too. *reminder: these are only possible because all his walls were finally broken down after his revival, he's a changed man in and out.*
Then, even better! When the medic units and probably some other heroes arrived to the scene, Katsuki suddenly realised he could give Izuku cpr! He'll do it himself and think it'll work since he learnt it from emergency treating lessons, and he didn't want Izuku to leave his side but also didn't want to do nothing to help Izuku recover.
See? Plus Ultra. Katsuki giving Izuku cpr y'all. Bkdk won. All these too in front of some witnesses and recording cameras. :)
And, yeah, cuz hori is a troll, katsuki's kiss of life actually wasn't the *sole* reason Izuku came to (all for the ambiguity too, ya know ;) and besides, hori likes trolling Katsuki too, not allowing him to get what he wants)-- it was all Izuku's well-deserved victory on defeating afo and saving tenko from the vestige space that allowed him to return to his own body after the vestige world close up. In fact, Izuku didn't actually need it, he was merely away from his body to fight in the vestige space for a bit; if he won, he would eventually come back and wake up by himself, the problem of hypoxia naturally dissolved along with it.
In another words, the "kiss" was just a bonus. It's a heartfelt gift from hori-sensei to his bkdk/grateful manga readers. Because in the end of the day, it's the promise between Izuku and Katsuki that wrapped the deal of bkdk being endgame canonically. For Hori, it's a win-win situation; he could have fun building suspense over his readers, as well as finally letting his favourite boys earn their long overdue peace to be together. Also, completing both protagonist and deuteragonist narrative foil as save to win, win to save. AND not making the whole scene romantically charged, as the reason behind their actions aren't out of sexual desire nor sexual attraction, since tHis Is sTilL JusT a shOuNen mAnGa afterall. Just "bros" devoting their life to each other and occasionally hold hands to get comfortable of each other's touch because they're practicing their next combo move. 😀
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luciusime · 6 months
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Everyday I draw a little closer to writing an mla format very long essay on the complex and nuanced relationship between Bruce, Damian, and Dick. It infuriates and saddens me when people boil it down to Dick being Damian's father without considering the implications of that fatherhood and the conditions it was fostered under. Would you tell a kidnapping victim that they couldn't be a father to their son? No? Then why do people rob Bruce of the opportunity to be a father to Damian? Why does Dick get to be the oh so perfect golden child even when he's hurt at least two of his siblings with his actions from the time Jason first got to the manor, to the time he ripped all that was keeping Tim stable from his hands? If parents are allowed to fuck up, why isn't Bruce allowed to work his way back to, if not forgiveness, then at least stable ground for his less reprehensible actions.( not including things like killing his children, sending them on useless or unwanted quests/missions, or not avenging or correcting their deaths. The children are allowed to be upset and never forgive those things). Has anyone ever stopped to think about the implications of Dick being Damian's father? How if you add that on top of his unwanted stint as batman, it makes him uncomfortably close to being Bruce, something he has never wanted and will never want? Why do people only ever write nuanced and complex fics about Bruce's relationship with Tim and Jason? Why is it so hard to find fics of him being nice to Dick and Damian? Are they undeserving of having Bruce affirm his love for them? Why is Damian never treated like the traumatized child he is, when Cassandra, with a similar upbringing and background, is treated with so much tenderness in the few fics she has that center around her. Why is he labeled demon, murderer; a mindless, brainless 10 year old assassin with no morals? Is he not allowed time to heal from his time in a literal cult?
And while I'm rambling on, do people ever stop to consider the delicate tightrope work Talia must have had to do to be allowed to keep her son? Not even as just Ra's heir, but as her son. Talia has always been assassin before she was mother, and those two things don't mix well when you have the amount of enemies she does. And when one of those enemies is your own father? You learn quickly what will and will not fly. The designs she must have had to make, and the horrors she must have had to witness and inflict upon her child to keep them both from dying must have been immense.
I think about these topics alot. I could totally write a whole character study about it.
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apopcornkernel · 2 months
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WHAT THE FUCKJYKRHEJEGEJEHEJWHEHSHEJEHDHENBE HOW DOES A HOMOPHOBE WRITE SOMERHING SO GAY
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krikeymate · 11 months
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How do you think Sam will find out that Tara knows what her medication is for? How long do you think Tara can keep it a secret before eventually it slips. Then how do you think that conversation would go?
Previous.
Sam wakes up in the morning to find Tara asleep on the couch with her phone clutched in hand, and dried tearstains on her face. She wonders if she had a nightmare, she wonders why she didn't wake her up. (She wonders if Tara couldn't bear to be around her, if the nightmares were about her.)
She does her best to shake off the unwanted thoughts.
Over the coming days, Sam notices that Tara is quieter, more in her head, and watching her whenever she isn't. It makes Sam nervous, change has never bought anything good into her life, but the reminder of how pushing for answers only pushed Tara away keeps her swallowing the are you ok's and the you know you can talk to me's in her throat.
Tara spends two agonising weeks deliberating over how to ask Sam, whether to bring it up at all, when the choice is taken out of her hands.
She wakes up one day and reaches for her phone, only to find it missing. She was sure she had put it on the side table to charge last night, but a quick search behind it and under the bed proves fruitless.
When she leaves the bedroom, it's to the sight of Sam on the couch, leg bouncing, and Tara's phone in hand.
"Sam," Tara acknowledges warily, immediately on edge. "I was looking for that," she says, nodding towards the mobile in Sam's hand.
"I took it."
Sam looks agitated, eyes darting around the room.
"I can see that." Tara struggles to keep her tone even when all she wants is to demand to know what's going on, if Sam knows what she did.
She settles beside her sister on the couch and reaches out for her phone. Sam pulls it away and places it beside the tv remote on the coffee table, far out of Tara's reach.
Sam won't look at her.
Tara lips her licks, nervous. "Sam, can I have my phone please."
"No," she declares, hands clenching into fists in her lap.
"Why?"
When she doesn't respond, Tara asks again. "Sam, why can't I have my phone?"
She hears Sam take a shaky breath. Her next words chill Tara to the bone, filling her with dread.
"I don't want you to see."
Tara gasps, air choking in her throat. "See what, what happened?!" she wheezes out, clutching at her chest. "Did- did someone-"
Sam's head snaps up as she hears her sister's breathing change. "Shit, no! I'm sorry- wait, hold on." She runs from the room, smacking against the doorframe in her rush to enter the bedroom and grab Tara's inhaler.
Holding it to her mouth, Sam berates herself for being so stupid. What else was Tara supposed to think? Idiot. She cups Tara's cheek, stroking behind her ear idly as she calms down.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, disappointed in herself for worrying Tara like that. "I didn't mean to scare you."
Her sister rests a hand on the back of Sam's wrist. "I just want to know what's going on, Sam," Tara responds, tired eyes looking up at her.
Sam closes her eyes and rips the bandaid off. "My therapy file got leaked online."
"Oh shit!" Tara exclaims, jumping to her feet and wrapping her arms around her. "Are you ok?"
Sam buries her face in Tara's hair. "I'm sorry I took your phone, I panicked."
Tara doesn't miss the way Sam dodges the question, she just squeezes her sister tighter, ignoring the way it makes her injuries ache. She feels immeasurably guilty for the lie when she says "I won't read anything you don't want me to."
"No," Sam sniffs, pulling backwards. "You should read it. Everyone else will- has. It's better you know, so you're prepared."
Sam hands her her phone back and sits back on the couch, spine straight and body stiff. Waiting, expecting. It hurts Tara to see Sam so anxious, so scared for Tara to read what's waiting for her online.
Biting her lip, Tara makes a decision and climbs into Sam's lap, forcing her backwards.
"What are you doing?" Sam mutters as Tara makes herself comfortable, resting her head on Sam's shoulder. This, she thinks, as Sam relaxes beneath her, arms wrapping around her from behind.
Tara unlocks her phone.
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druidshollow · 5 months
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"what would your character be like without their trauma?" is such a hard question for me because it makes me feel like a massive asshole LMAO
(im attaching a picture of a tundra literally to add context to my ramble in the tags because my posts are structured by a sane person) (you should read the ramble in the tags i talk so much about rivers fsr)
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#like. rivers would probably just purpose funky things for the hell of it and study lizards and stuff#i think environmentalism would matter to him since he was created long before the great equalizer when there was like. actually a view#have you guys ever looked at a tundra for real theyre so pretty. i think the colours would be funkier though#purples and blues along with the reds and oranges i think but id have to draw it tio be sure its not ugly#anyways. rivers would probably be interested in nature conservation especially since the ancients destroyed the world-#but the iterators construction obviously had a massive part in that so hed feel ownership#him and glass wouldve got along VERY well in this circumstance since that matters a lot to her (specifically animal conservation though)#but at the same time glass doesnt exist without rivers trauma right. she cant exist if flowers isnt in his life because he Literally built#her (glass) just to be mean to rivers#doomed for real#i....... want them to be friends in the walky au. my massive block is trying to think of some reason nights Needs to leave his can because#he wouldnt if not required. and glass just wouldnt leave him. in no circumstance would they willingly separate from eachothers company#theyd ALSO need to be really fast because the only opportunity nights would get to get out is when odyssey goes to him to help her build#the weapon she needs to kill dune. (odyssey has the gift. the twins dont know anyone else who does((other than phrases obvsly)))#this happens a considerable amount of time after phrases and rivers escape. they have like. a month's time on them#odysseys like “if you guys are for real about leaving do NOT go straight south. dont. dont. dont. youre like 2 feet tall you WILL die”#nights is like “DEAR GOD SERIAL KILLERS??????” and glass is like “wtf youre only like a foot taller than us”#anyways i think glass and rivers would get along and rivers has a positive arc here right and realizes hes wrong and hes glad he didnt.#kill the twins. yeah its good you didnt do that dude#i jsut really really think theyd get along if rivers had the chance to associate her with anything but flowers horrid treatment of him#because in the normal story all he sees when he sees her is flowers. and like flowers could the twins can tap into his work and see his#files and logs and such whenever they wanted. they didnt do this very often- glass really never looked at rivers work unless she was told t#but rivers was just made SO paranoid by flowers abuse that thinking of being watched makes him feel sick and horrible#and his whole thing is trying to find a way to feel less horrible right so thats (part of) why he decides to get rid of them#hm. if rivers wassnt traumatized hed like nature and creatures. anyways#oc posting#look to the tags for the oc posting
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