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peaches2217 · 6 months

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"I think I'm a woman," Luigi blurts out one night. He doesn't really mean to; he's sitting in bed with Peasley, who's flipping through this week's issue of Lentiltainment Weekly, and he himself has been staring at the same page of his book for the past half hour. This is a thought that's been circling through his head for too long now, he supposes. It's gonna lead him nowhere if he doesn't at least try to talk it out.

Peasley blinks up from his magazine. He looks surprised, but not at all unsettled. "Huh." He takes one last glance at the page he's on before setting his reading material aside, an action Luigi finds himself mimicking. "Are you thinking of changing your name, then? Of course, there's no rush if you haven't settled on anything. We can prepare the announcement in the meantime."

"...Announcement?"

"That you're to be addressed as Princess Consort moving forward," Peasley says, almost offhandedly, like it's the most obvious and casual thought in the world. "We'll make a feast of it if you'd like. Ah! How about I commission Madame Haricot? I'll have her tailor the most exquisite gown you've ever worn, adorned with the most brilliant of jewels! It's the least I could do for such an occassion."

Luigi almost forgets that his situation isn't quite that simple, because he's so grateful that this is the man he married, someone who so desperately loves him no matter his identity. But there is more to it, and that's something he can't ignore.

"It's not— I mean there's..." Luigi shakes his hands as he searches for his words. "It's not like 'Ope! I'm not a guy after all!' I'm... I feel like I'm definitely still a guy, but I'm also not, y'know? And I just... I don't know. I mean, am I a guy or a girl or what?"

Peasley, absently mirroring Luigi's nervous stim, hums. "Perhaps you're both," he suggests. And for a moment, something within Luigi's chest feels warm and light. It makes sense, at first blush, that he can't settle on one or the other because he's not one or the other, but—

"I can't be both."

"Whyever not?"

"Because..." and Luigi has to stop to find his words once more. To Peasley, to his entire species, such matters usually are as simple as Why not both?. After all, logic dictates that no living organism should be both a plant and a mammal, yet here's an entire species that is. When your entire existence is a paradox, everything else seems so straightforward.

On top of that, Beanish views on such matters as gender are quite lax, owing greatly to the fact that they're predominantly intersex. Babies are typically assigned either male or female, but many decide somewhere down the line that they're another gender, or some mix of genders, or no gender at all; a young Beanish person independently affirming their identity is as much a coming-of-age tradition as turning sixteen and getting your first car is in the world Luigi comes from. Peasley himself went through it, disagreeing with the gender he was assigned at birth and being re-crowned as a prince in response. It's incredibly common.

But they're Beanish, and Luigi is human, and just because he married into a society without strict gender rules doesn't mean he himself can adopt those rules. Right...?

"I don't know," he finally says, because he's not sure what else he can say. He's frustrated, because he wants the answer to be that simple, to be able to say he's as much one thing as the other, to accept himself as he is rather than try to figure out what he isn't. But he's just not sure.

"Well... it's okay not to know." Peasley kicks at the blankets covering their legs so he can more comfortably face Luigi and take his hands. There's warmth in his deep brown eyes, a warmth Luigi knows all too well yet is certain he'll never understand.

"I don't like not knowing who I am," he confesses. He's sure he sounds like a whining child, but the uncertainty so deeply rooted within him is agonizing.

"You're my Greenie." Peasley gives his hands a gentle squeeze, smiling softly. "We can figure out the rest as we go. Until then, that remains an unshakable truth."

And Luigi can't help but smile back, swallowing thickly against the threat of oncoming tears. He knows Peasley doesn't fully understand his uncertainties. They grew up in two very different worlds. But he knows how deeply affected Luigi remains by the taboos of his old world, and he can see that in the loving gaze across from him: the assertion of Even if I'm not sure where you're coming from, I'll be right here with you no matter what.

"...I can still commission Madame Haricot if you'd like," Peasley says after a moment, and something in his smile looks a touch more mischievous. "I'm sure a new gown will cheer you up."

"I'm starting to think you're offering more for your own sake than for mine."

"Well it's not my fault you're so exceedingly attractive!" And Peasley sounds so suddenly defensive, almost offended, that Luigi can't help but burst into laughter.

"Okay!" He tries to match Peasley's defensive tone, but he's laughing too hard to sound convincing, and that in turn breaks Peasley from his pouting spell. "Okay, let's do it."

"Oh, I was so hoping you'd say that!" Peasley cheers and pulls Luigi into him, and all at once his uncertainties are forgotten, at least for now. They'll be back, and they'll undoubtedly weigh on him, but no matter what, he won't be alone. No matter what, he'll be loved.

#super mario bros #smb #mario and luigi #m&l rpgs #luigi #prince peasley #luisley #luigi x peasley #I TOLD Y'ALL I was gonna pull some bigender luigi bullshit one day #and more beanish worldbuilding because I have now adopted them (yes I've adopted the entire species)#peaches has opinions #peaches' fancy fics

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trashyswitch · 11 months

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Short People Problems

Mario and Donkey Kong are doing obstacle courses and casually teasing the hell out of each other. But one joke about being short ends up making Mario discover something about Donkey Kong he NEVER would've expected. But...Being short means you gotta be extra careful messing with a large gorilla.

Thanks to @theybibsxi for helping me with this fanfic! And this fanfic was based on some headcanons I made a while back. I hope you all enjoy!

Also, I will be spending the next week on vacation with family. Though I will likely continue writing during this time, I won't be uploading any more fanfics until next Saturday. So...I'm hopping off for the week. Try not to die while I'm gone! <3

Mario and Donkey Kong were walking around the Mushroom kingdom, just chilling out and smashing whatever bricks they found and using whatever power ups they could come across. Though they weren’t really best buds quite yet, they were still getting to know each other a lot better now. Though, that didn’t mean they didn’t taunt each other now and again…

Mario had pulled himself up onto a group of floating bricks and sprinted across them.

“Move it, shorty.” Donkey Kong jumped up and hit the brick right below Mario’s feet, making Mario fall through the hole. Mario yelped as he felt his stomach ascend into his chest as he fell to the ground.

Though Donkey Kong was a funnyman, he wasn’t a jerk who was gonna let Mario fall on his face. So he caught Mario with his hand as he ran.

But Mario clearly didn’t approve of such heroism. “I’m not a baby.” Mario muttered.

“Prove it, then!” Donkey Kong declared as he gave him a good throw into the air to reach the next platform.

Mario soared through the air and landed on his feet onto the platform before taking off running again. Mario sprinted up the stairs and headed to the elevator. He went up the elevator before heading to the two walls. Now, Mario had done his fair share of wall-jumps. So this part was gonna be easy for him. Mario jumped up once towards the left wall. When he landed, he jumped off the left wall to get to the right wall. When he got to the right wall, he jumped off it to get to the left wall again. Repeat this a few times, and you successfully wall-jump a wall.

When Mario reached the top of the wall, Donkey Kong ran by him. “Not bad, Red.” Donkey Kong reacted.

“Thanks.” Mario replied.

“For an amateur, anyway.” Donkey Kong added with a laugh.

Mario rolled his eyes and followed him. “Did you really need to add that last part?” Mario asked.

“Well I didn’t want you thinking I’m complimenting you or something.” Donkey Kong replied.

“You worried about being seen as a softy?” Mario asked.

“No. Are you?” Donkey Kong asked.

“Sometimes.” Mario admitted.

Donkey Kong chuckled and hopped down the platform onto the ground below. “Maybe it’s because you are.” Donkey Kong joked.

Mario hopped down next. “And you’re not, I’m guessing?” Mario asked.

“Me?! No way!” Donkey Kong replied.

“Uh huh…” Mario hummed, not believing him. “I’ve seen the way you act around Diddy Kong.” Mario added.

Donkey Kong raised an eyebrow at him before smirking and leaning on Mario’s head. “Oh yeah? And I’ve seen the way you act around Luigi.” Donkey Kong added.

Mario frowned and crossed his arms when he felt the gorilla’s arm on his head. “...Dude.” Mario said.

“Mhm?” He replied, casually looking at his nails.

“Get off me.” Mario ordered.

“Whaddaya mean?” He asked with a smirk. “I’m not even touching you.” He added.

“Get off!” Mario yelled.

Donkey Kong’s smirk grew into a toothy smile as he poked Mario’s cheek playfully. “Or what? You’ll beat me up?” He teased.

Mario growled and poked Donkey’s ribs and armpit. “GET OFF ME!” Mario yelled.

Donkey Kong wheezed and instinctively pulled his arm back against his side. “WoHO- HEhey!” Donkey Kong laughed. “Wohow! I feel bad for your bro.” Donkey Kong reacted.

Mario narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?!” Mario asked.

“You can’t even take a joke!” Donkey Kong told him.

Mario glared at him. “There’s a difference between joking around, and being a pain in the neck.” Mario let him know as he poked his side.

Donkey Kong yelped and curled away from the touch for a moment. “Q-Quit that!” He reacted.

Mario’s frown softened when he saw Donkey Kong’s reaction. He looked at the area he had poked, before looking up at Donkey Kong. “Wait…” Mario attempted to poke his side again, but yelped as his hand was slapped away by Donkey Kong’s larger hand. “Ow!” Mario reacted.

“Don’t touch me!” Donkey Kong yelled.

“Why?” Mario asked, smirking slightly. “Ticklish?” He asked.

Donkey Kong blinked, and looked down to the side slightly. “I-” He muttered.

Mario’s facial expression only grew when he heard Donkey Kong stutter. “...Wait, seriously?!” Mario asked, not fully believing it at first.

“Shut up.” Donkey Kong ordered.

“I will, but…” Mario looked at him. “I’m surprised.” He admitted, pointing to him.

“Don’t. Try it.” Donkey Kong ordered.

Mario looked at Donkey Kong…then at his stomach…Mario reached his finger out and started to bring it closer to his belly. “Juuuust-” Mario widened his eyes the moment his hand was grabbed by a fluffy, large, brown hand. Mario yelped and screeched as he was lifted up off the ground by his wrist. “WaitwaiT- AAH!” Mario shouted.

“You think you can tickle me and get away with it?!” He asked before poking Mario’s side, earning him a surprisingly high-pitched squeak. “Just try me. I DARE you.” He added with a smirk as he skittered three of his fingers on Mario’s side.

Mario widened his eyes and covered his mouth, refusing to let Donkey Kong hear his laugh. Though Mario really liked his own laugh, he knew that if he let it out…then Donkey Kong was gonna keep tickling him just to tease him about it! And why in the world would Mario give him that satisfaction?!

Mario shot him the best glare he could considering the circumstances. But it didn’t look threatening like he wanted…because Donkey Kong only laughed at him. “Was that supposed to scare me?!” Donkey Kong asked.

Mario soon removed his hand from his face, showing off his wobbly smile in the process, so he could cover up his side as best he could with one hand. “Yohoucan’tbreakme.” Mario spat through his pent-up laughter.

“Oh I’m not trying to break you.” Donkey Kong told him. “I’m just trying to tickle you. Make you laugh.” He told him. “And you’re holding out on me!” He added, moving his finger up to his armpit. “And I don’t like it.” Donkey Kong added, poking his armpit with an evil, toothy smirk.

Mario screeched and looked visibly scared as he tried to wave his hand away from his armpit. “NO! Not there! Anywhere but there!” Mario begged.

He removed his finger and wiggled it. “Ohooo! Does that mean it’s…” His finger touched down right in the dip of his armpit. “Ticklish?” He teased in the most evil voice he could muster.

Mario gripped Donkey Kong’s finger as best he could, and attempted to remove it. “NOo, no it’s not.” Mario shot back.

Donkey Kong flexed his finger, making it wiggle and tickle his armpit one single time. Just this alone, made Mario titter and squeeze his eyes shut. “If your armpit isn’t sensitive…” He flexed his finger again to tickle Mario just once more. “Then why are you smiling so much?” Donkey Kong asked with fake curiosity, referring to the wobbly smile on Mario’s face that had just grown to show off his teeth.

“DonkeyKongIswearto-” Mario gasped as he felt Donkey Kong’s finger wiggle again…only for it to wiggle continuously in his armpit. “GohohoHOHOHOD!” Mario finished his threat before throwing his head back as he felt the dam break right open.

Donkey Kong’s face brightened as he heard the man break open with laughter. “Wow! There you go!” He reacted. “Took you long enough.” He added with a chuckle.

Mario immediately let go of Donkey Kong’s finger and flapped his free arm around as he laughed full-force this time. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha!” Mario laughed, pulling his arm in and keeping it tense against his side.

“Not gonna lie, you’ve got a pretty good laugh. I can see why the princess likes you.” Donkey Kong told him.

Mario could feel a slight blush showing up on his face from that compliment alone. “SHUHUHUT UHUHUP!” Mario yelled at him.

“Nah. I rather like teasing you, Red.” Donkey Kong admitted. “Maybe if I tease you enough, your cheeks will match your shirt.” He added.

Mario lowered his head down and held his stomach as he kept laughing. By this point, Mario had given up trying to stop Donkey Kong from tickling him. Mario couldn’t do any damage to Donkey Kong without a power up, thanks to how big and strong Donkey Kong was. So the man had to just take it.

And right as Mario was starting to get used to the tickles, Donkey Kong started dragging his finger down to the ribs. “Coochy coochy coo~” He teased evilly.

Mario’s laughter seemed to stay about the same, only this time, his feet started kicking a bit more wildly. “YOHOHOHOU’RE SOHOHOHO MEHEHEHEAN!” Mario complained.

“Says the one who continuously heeded my warning and tried to tickle me anyway, despite me saying ‘Don’t try it’ at least once.” Donkey Kong added.

“STOHOP STOPSTOP LEHET MEHEHE TAHAHALK!” Mario begged. “PLEHEHEHEASE!”

Donkey Kong shrugged his shoulders and stopped tickling his ribs. “Okay.” He replied.

Mario’s laughter lessened super quickly. The man breathed in gulps of air and let out long breaths of relief. “Gohohosh…” Mario muttered.

“What did you wanna say?” Donkey Kong asked.

Mario looked up at Donkey Kong, and let out another breath. “You…technically didn’t say ‘Don’t try it’.” Mario told him.

Donkey Kong narrowed his eyes. “Oh really?” He leaned in. “Then what did I say?” He asked.

“You actually said ‘Don’t’ with a pause…and then ‘try it’.” Mario replied with a growing little innocent smile.

Donkey Kong looked at him with the most unamused face he could possibly show him.

This look made Mario burst out laughing despite still clearly being overpowered. “Yohohou look so done with me.” Mario added, giggling into his own hand.

Donkey Kong rolled his eyes and let go of Mario, making him drop to the ground. When Mario sat himself up, Donkey Kong pushed Mario down onto his back and held the man’s wrists by the sleeves just above his chest. “You done talking yet?” He asked with a smirk before moving his fingers towards Mario’s belly. “If not, then you might as well laugh instead.” Donkey Kong concluded, skittering his fingers on his little, jean-covered belly.

Mario’s laughter seemed to erupt from his lips almost right away this time, surprising them both. “aaAAHAhahahahaha! Ohohohokahahay! Ihihi’m dohone tahahalkihing, I promihihihise!” Mario replied.

“Well that’s a relief.” He teased. “But laughing doesn’t really count as talking, does it?” He asked, wiggling his fingers near his vulnerable sides.

Mario’s body language, as well as his laughter, noticeably doubled when his right side was merely stroked by the gorilla’s fingers. “Ihihihi dohohoHOHON’T KNOHOHOhohohow!” Mario admitted, his voice moving up and down in volume.

Donkey Kong’s smirk widened the moment his laughter got stronger. He quickly looked up at Mario’s face. “Ticklish sides?” He asked before poking his right side a bit harder this time.

“HeheHEHAHAHA- NoHO!” Mario attempted to turn himself onto his right to cover up his ticklish side. “N-No, no way. They’re not. Honest.” Mario argued, pulling on his sleeves rough enough to try and get out, but gentle enough as to not rip his sleeves.

Donkey Kong chuckled and shook his head. “You are the worst liar I have ever met.” Donkey Kong admitted with a laugh before giving Mario’s sides a few squeezes. “Like, a toddler would be able to lie better than you!” Donkey Kong teased. Mario threw his head back and let out a long, strong cackle. “SOHOHOHO WHAHAT?!” Mario yelled back.

Mario’s laughter only continued in long bouts when Donkey Kong squeezed his side a bit faster. “Wow! I’m glad you found that as funny as I did!” Donkey Kong reacted.

Mario shook his head as he kicked his feet somewhat wildly. “NOHOHOT FUNNYHEEHEEHEE!” Mario shouted at him.

“Another lie! You seriously think lying about my humor is going to work when you’re clearly laughing?!” Donkey Kong joked.

“BUHUHUT IHI’M NOHOHOT! IHIHI SWEHEHEAR!” Mario yelled at him.

“Ohoho, you’d better not be swearing that you’re not laughing…because that would be yet ANOTHER lie!” Donkey Kong reacted. “Speaking of which: why are you laughing so much, Jumpman?” Donkey Kong asked.

“WHYHY DOHO YOU THIHIHIHIHINK?!” Mario spat back.

Donkey Kong shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I can’t read your mind, Mario.” Donkey Kong teased. “You’re the only one who can tell me why you’re laughing.”

Mario whined through his laughter. “BEHEHECAUSE YOHOU’RE TIHIHICKLIHIHING MEHEHEHEHE!” Mario yelled back.

“What?!” Donkey Kong stopped his fingers and let go of Mario’s sleeves before moving them up into arrest position. “No I’m not!” Donkey Kong reacted. “Look! My hands are free!” He insisted.

Mario held his stomach as he curled up into a ball, giggling and laughing from the leftover phantom tickles. Even though Donkey Kong was obviously not tickling him, Mario was still laughing almost as hard as he was when DK’s hand was squeezing his unbelievably ticklish side.

“See? I’m not even touching you, and you’re laughing yourself absolutely bananas! What is so funny?!” Donkey Kong reacted, acting all innocent.

Mario’s laughter slowly began to die down. Keyword: slowly. Though they were less than before, Mario’s cackles were still strong enough to keep Mario’s face a little bit red. Normally a person would start snorting by now. But here’s the thing: Mario is not a snorter.

But don’t let this discourage you…because there’s something else I need to tell you:

Mario may not snort…but he most certainly hiccups when he laughs for too long.

And that’s exactly what Mario started to do. Mario had only let out one single hiccup, which made Mario impulsively cover up his mouth with his palm. But even with his mouth covered, you could still hear the recurring hiccups through his hand. “Hahahaha- *hic* -Hehehe *hic* Hehe sohohorry- *hic* Hehehehe-” Mario muttered.

Donkey Kong widened his eyes and stared at Mario. “Are you…hiccuping?!” Donkey Kong asked.

Mario’s blush only seemed to deepen when Donkey Kong simply mentioned his hiccups. He sat himself up and tried to calm himself down. “Ihihihi *hic* Hihihihi- *hic* Hihihehehehe- *hic* Yeheheah…” Mario muttered.

Donkey Kong chuckled. “Does anyone else know about your hiccup laughs?” Donkey Kong asked.

Mario groaned and covered his face, clearly embarrassed. “Shhhhutup.” Mario muttered.

Donkey Kong laughed and offered him a hand. “Want help up, overalls?”

Mario bit his lip and uncovered his face. “S-Sure.” Mario muttered. When he felt ready, Mario took his hand (or rather, his index finger) and got up onto his feet. “Now…please don’t tell anyone.” Mario told him. “I don’t want rumors to spread about this.” Mario admitted.

Donkey Kong nodded. “Wouldn’t want such adorable information to get into the wrong hands.” Donkey Kong added.

“Yeah, pretty-” Mario froze. “Wha- HEY!” Mario punched Donkey Kong’s arm, earning him a laugh from Donkey Kong. “I’m not adorable.” Mario warned.

“I’d beg to differ…Have you seen yourself in the catsuit?” Donkey Kong teased, wiggling his fingers like a cat paw.

Mario rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Sh-shut up.” Mario muttered.

This made Donkey Kong laugh even more. “Fine, fine.” He said. “But in return…you can’t tell people I’m ticklish either.” Donkey Kong ordered. “That stays zipped up in your head. Got it?” Donkey Kong ordered.

Mario nodded. “Fair enough. I can do that. Truce?” Mario asked, offering his hand.

“Truce.” Donkey Kong replied, shaking his hand with his finger while his other hand moved behind his back.

Mario nodded his head before letting go of Donkey Kong’s finger and looking over at the obstacle course. “So…..” Mario looked over to the main toad village. “You…you wanna visit the toad shops?” Mario asked, pointing to the town.

Donkey Kong narrowed his eyes. “Shops?” He asked. “I could not think of a more boring activity.” Donkey Kong teased.

“I dunno…I heard they have some interesting antiques over there…” Mario mentioned. “Haven’t been able to check them out myself though…” He admitted.

“Hm…” He looked at the town. “Do you think there’s anything I haven’t seen before?” Donkey Kong asked.

Mario chuckled. “Only one way to find out…” Mario mentioned.

Donkey Kong chuckled and poked his side. “Fine.” He replied before taking off running. “Race ya!”

Mario yelped and jumped back, before taking off after him. “WAIT! YOU CHEATER!” Mario shouted.

“JUST CATCH UP, SLOW POKE!” Donkey Kong shouted back.

“WATCH ME, SMASH MONKEY!” Mario shouted back as he sprinted after him.

It didn't take long for the boys to make it to the village. And to Donkey Kong’s surprise, there were actually lots of antique items that he had never seen before. And Mario ended up purchasing a couple new power ups that he hadn’t tried before. Despite the one-sided tickle fight that had just transpired, the boys seemed to keep things civil between each other. Later on, Mario would end up getting tickled all over again. Why? Because Donkey Kong may or may not have been crossing his fingers when he shook Mario’s hand earlier…Go figure…

But let’s face it: Mario would’ve done the same thing. They both have that competitive brotherly energy to them. It’s what seemed to help them cooperate when it was needed.

#competition #post-the super mario bros movie (2023)#frenemies #funny #teasing #ticklefic #switch!dk #switch!mario #evil #secrets #truce

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blackhakumen · 1 month

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Mini Fanfic #1188: A Chance For Romance? (SSBU X Darkstalkers)

12:16 p.m. at the Smash Mansion's Living Room.......

Daisy: (Eyes Widened in Genuine Surprise) You got DIGITS!?

Chun-Li: (Eyes Widened in Complete Shock) FROM MORRIGAN OF ALL PEOPLE!!?

Dedede: (Smiles Brightly) Indeed I have! All this time I thought I would never that girl again. (Chuckles Wholeheartedly) But look at lady-luck finally handin' me a bone for once today!

Samus: (Raises an Eyebrow) Finally?

Cloud: The tow truck took De's Wheelie Cycle away earlier.

Dedede: And it was all AFTER it broke down on me in the middle of road. AGAIN!

Samus: Seriously? That's like the third time that happened this week

Luigi: You think it may be time for you to get a new motorcycle at some point? I heard they're more cheaper these days.

Dedede: ('Sigh') I might as well do so at this point. (Casually Shrugs) But it's no biggie'. (Went Back to Grinning Again) As soon as I get me a new ride, I'll be taking my potential honey to all sorts of places, satisfaction guaranteed~ (Let's Out a Hardy Laugh)

Everyone: ('Sighs in Concern')

Dedede: Ah come on! Don't be sighing like that, y'all! I've been through crazier dates before and I've made all of out unscathed!

Daisy: Yeah. Mostly thanks to us saving your hide!

Dedede: (Turns to Daisy) Girl, what you talkin' about?

Daisy: Remember the time you dated some pirate girl named Syrup?

Flashback

Syrup: (Place her Hands under a Tied UpDedede's With a Seductive Smirk on her Face) Now~ Tell me more about your kingdomnd riches~ (Uses her Sword to Poke Dedede in the Stomach) Or you walk the plank.

Dedede looks down at the ocean him and the plank were hovering filled with sharks circling around amd jump up and dpwn from the area, before screaming for his life while the captain herself let's out an elegant laugh until Daisy German Suplexed her from behind, letting out a vicious battle cry.

Luigi: (Coming Out of Nowhere, Delivering the Countdown and Slamming his Hand Down on the Ship's Boardwalk While Wearing a Referee Shirt) One, Two, THREE!

End of Flashback

Dedede: ('Sighs a Bit Dreamingly') Yeah, that lady was smokin' hot for a good for nothin' pirate captain~

Daisy: DE!

Dedede: What!? I said Good For Nothin' Pirate Captain! Y'all hearing aid ain't working or something?

Samus: ('Sigh') Moving on, there's also that time with the witch.

Another Flashback

Grutilda: (Riding on her Magical Broom While Dragging a Tied Up Dedede on the Streets Along with Her) The only thing that will satisfy this uneventful date time, is taking this fat bird's wealth and prime! AHHHEHEHEHEHEH!!!!~

Samus: You're primeless ass is about get subdued if you don't get back here with our De!! (Angrily Chases the Witch Behind on Foot Along with Chun-Li, Banjo & Kazooie)

End of Flashback

Dedede: The witch bitch was crazy, but her rhyming game was top-notch, ain't gonna lie to ya.

Samus: (Scoffs While Rolling her Eyes) Yeah, for the first five minutes. It started getting real annoying after that.....

Cloud: Let's not forget about the aftermath of the date you had with that crazy surgeon.

Dedede: ('Sigh') Don't remind me......

Yet Another Flashback

Dedede: (Starts Waking Up) ...Huh? W-What the-(Frantically Looking Around in the Dark While Laying his Back on Something Metal and Strapping him Up Tightly) Who turned off all the lights?

??????: Oh. You're finally awake.

As the lights turn on revealing the room to be some rundown apartment, the former king of Dreamland looks up to see a woman with blue hair, wearing a nurse outfit and an eyepatch, with the name "Nurse Valentine" staring down at him seductive yet very dangerously, giving him the perfect cue to scream in horror.

Valentine: Now~ Tell me where it hurts-

Before the nurse could do anything, Tifa suddenly comes out of nowhere and punch her straight across her face hard enough to send her flying toward the other side of the room right before tackling her afterwards.

Cloud: (Rushes in and Looks Down at Dedede) De! You all right?

Dedede: (Shaking in Fear) I-I-I don't know, maybe!? Check to see if my body is still in one piece- (Suddenly Felt Cloud Punching his Leg) Ow!

Cloud: You felt that?

Dedede: (Glares at Cloud) Hell yeah I did! ('Sigh') I swear. Y'all soldiers punch too hard......

Cloud: Hey! (Points at Dedede) That's EX-Solider to you, ex-king.

Dedede: Soldier, Ex-Solider, who gives a shit? Just get me outta here before that crazy nurse come-

Tifa: (Punching the Daylights Out of Valentine in the Background) Don't. You. EVER. Kidnap. Our. King. And. Friend. Again. YOU HEAR ME!?

Dedede: (Eyes Widened at the Sound of Those Punches) .......Tif molly-whopping her ass, isn't she?

Cloud: Yep. (Starts Taking the Strap Covers Off of Dedede) She's been worried sick, you know?

Dedede: Uh-huh. Remind me to never piss her off again........

End of Flashback

Dedede: Her crazy ass gives every medical team in the globe a bad name......(Still Notices the Worried Looks on Everyone's Faces Before Sighing Again) Okay, listen, I know my dates gotten a lot more insane than usual, but Morrigan doesn't seem all that bad to me, at least in comparison to those wacky nutjobs that's for sure.....(Turns to Chun-Li) Chun, you had history with her before before, right? Has she does anything sinister under you watch? You know, besides doing all those succubus activities you mentioned?

Chun-Li: (Crosses her Arms While Reminiscing on the Past) No, actually. Despite her troublesome tendencies, she has proven herself to be a trusted ally countless times again. (Rolls her Eyes a Bit) Especially during those worlds hopping fiascos we kept getting dragged into.......

Samus: (Turns to her Girlfriend with an Impressed Smirk on her Face) Ah is that right?~ How crazy are we talking here? World ending crazy or the more random side?

Chun-Li: ('Sigh') Both. We were tasked to find the Portalstone and return it back to it's rightful owners which that, in it of itself, sounds a whole lot easier said than done in retrospect, but I digress for now. (Frowns a Bit a Dedede) Are you really sure you wanna go through with this ordeal, De? There's no telling what lies ahead for you two going forward.

Dedede: Yeah, it's a tall, risk making order go through for sure, but I think I'll be more prepared for whatever happens this time around, you know? So yeah, I'm sure. (Starts Rubbing The Back of his Head Back and Forth) I was gonna ask y'all to keep looking out for me if you want, but now I feel bad for dragging y'all into my crazy love life in the first place.

Daisy: (Happily Hugs Dedede Along With Everyone Else in the Room, Minus Cloud who is only Patting the atop of his Head) Nah, don't worry about all of that, you big lug. We're a family. We always got your back whether you ask for it or not.

Luigi: You have any when you're to text her? The Dine-in is about to close in the next few minutes or so.

Dedede: I'll text her a little later. I'm certain she already has a busy schedule in her hands knowing her profession.

Meanwhile at the Koop's Hot Springs

Morrigan: (Sighs Very Relaxingly as She Sits Down on Soothing Hot Tub) Finally~ Free from work at laaast~

Lilith: (Sighs While Sitting in Fron of her Older Sister) Sis, you've only worked in that place for five to six hours. It's couldn't be that long.

Morrigan: You don't know what it's like in there, Lili. The pestering customers, the grumpy, rude mannered manager yelling at your ear all morning, the excruciating pain you feel when you have to stand and walk around while you work for those amount of hours......

Lilith: (Puts on a Deadpinned Look on her Face) No one told you to wore those new heels of your all morning, Morrigan.

Morrigan: (Pouts at Lilith) But they look marvelous on me!~ I would do them a terrible disservice if I didn't have them on me today!

Lilith: Then wear them for an occasions then if you love 'em so much! It saves both of us the trouble.....

Morrigan: I'll wear them whenever I feel like wearing them, thank you!~

Lilith: (Rolls her Eyes) Still don't see how I'm supposed to be the immature one of this nutty family, but go off I guess.

Morrigan: Go off I shall! (Smiles Brightly) Especially now that I have brand new gentleman I may have fallen head over heels over!~

Lilith: (Eyes Widened) Already? What happened to that rich guy you were dating last year?

Morrigan: Who? Vega? (Turns Away) ('Ugh') I've long since been over him. Far too narcissistic for my liking and well being.

Lilith: (Simply Nodded in Agreement) Good. I never liked that creep from the beginning. He wouldn't stop seducing me and the other ladies whenever you're not around in the same area.

Morrigan: (Raises an Eyebrow) Is that right? Remind me to take care of him personally when we cross paths again.

Lilith: (Forms a Cheeky Grin on her Face) No need for that, sis~ I've kicked him in the jewels so hard that his eyes popped out. He won't be bothering for very long time~

Morrigan: (Smirks Proudly at her Little Sister) Good girl.

Lilith: Thank you!~ Now who's the lucky guy you're into now?

Morrigan: Dedede, the Ex-King Of Dreamland~

Lilith: (Eyes Widened at the Realization) ('Gasps') You that blue penguin guy in the Smash Family!?

Morrigan: The very same~ ('Sighs Dreamingly') Such a wonderful man he was, Lili~ He's handsome looking, hilarious, quite the charmer, his hair looks almost as gorgeous as mines, on the chubby side, but I don't mind one bit. In fact, I've started to gain an apperication for all things round and chunky these days~

Lilith: ('Sighs Dreamingly') Round and chunky~

Lilith smiles fondly as she daydreams about two of her romantic partners, Daisy and Luigi, seductively hip bumping one aother, showing off their big, round, plumpy rears while giggles respectively before reality starts coming back to her back to her like a boomerang

Lilith: (Quickly Shakes her Head Before Coming Back to the Topic at Hand) S-So Uh..('Clears Throat') You guys are gonna go on a date at some point?

Morrigan: I hope and believe so. It's our second time seeing each other in person though, so I think it would be in our best interest to take our newly found connection slow for the time being, no?

Lilith: (Forms a Teasing Smirk) Morrigan Aensland taking things slow for once? Biggest surprise I've seen in the New Years yet~

Morrigan: (Smirks Back at her Little Sister) Says the young woman in front of me who did with a plumber and a princess on the nice she first laid her eyes upon them~

Lilith: (Immediately Pouts at Morrigan) I've been coped up in our mansion for years now, SUE ME!! (Turns Away and Crosses her Arms While Blushing) Besides, it's not my fault they're both so cute, sweet, and sexy.....

Morrigan: (Giggles Softly) You are such a mess Lilith, you know that?~

Lilith: (Comically Glares at Morrigan) TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE, HUSSY!

Morrigan: (Giggles Some More) Okay, okay, calm down already. We're supposed to be here to relax, remember?

Lilith: ('Sigh') Yeah, yeah....Let's get this R&R session over with so you can head back home and text your future boyfriend all day.

Morrigan: (Smiles Brightly) Sounds like a plan!~

Few Minutes Later

Dedede: Yo!

Dedede: Wanted to let you know its me textin' u

Dedede: De•De•De!✌

Morrigan: Hello, my darling King!~ 👑

Dedede: U mean former king, right?

Dedede: Cuz I still don't have my castle back.

Dedede: Or my Wheelie Cycle....

Morrigan: I know what you mean, you poor thing lol

Morrigan: Doesn't matter to me that you're royalty or not

Morrigan: You'll always be a King to me, my dear~ 😘

Dedede: .........Damn

Dedede: Not even a minute goes by and u making me blush already!?

Dedede: Has to be new record or somethin lol

Morrigan: Lmao I'm so happy I made you feel that way, darng!

Morrigan: Because from here on out, I'm going to do everything in my power to spoil you to the rotteness of all cords~

Morrigan: Figuratively of course 😉

Dedede: Well, bring it on then, little lady~

Dedede: I've been eating more sweets than a fat kid lovin' cake, I can take you on!

Morrigan: Challenge Accepted, Dear~ 😘 😘

............................................................................

Cloud: (Notices the Text Messages on De's Phone) Feelingmore adventurous today, aren't we, De?

Dedede: (Casually Shrugs) I'll take what I can handle. Now hush and let me text my potential woman in peace.

Cloud: Whatever. (Went Back to Watching TV)

@bestpony666

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@tampire

@theweebmaster31

@caleb13frede

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coffeecat1983 · 1 year

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“Little Signs” one-shot (Mario Bros)

(Takes place after the movie. Just my guesses and ideas on what could have happened)

Mario felt sick as he ran through the castle. Why hadn't he seen it before? All those little signs. When they were reunited, Luigi hadn't hugged him as tightly as usual and he had cringed at Mario's touch. Mario had been showing him around the Mushroom Kingdom and Luigi had kept quiet, almost withdrawn.

How did I not see it?

It was after breakfast and Luigi had excused himself to go back to the room Princess Peach had given them. Mario felt a little lonely without him as he wandered around the castle. Heading out to the royal gardens, he was greeting by the Penguin King, King Gustave. "Ah, Mario, it's good to see you." Remembering stories their mother told them, Mario took his cap off and bowed nervously. "Thank you, your majesty." he said softly. He stood upright, cap still in his hands. "I hope you're doing all right." Gustave smiled. "You don't need to be formal around me, if anything I should be bowing to you after all you've done for the kingdoms." Mario gave out a small laugh as he put his cap back on. "I'm just glad I could help." Gustave waved towards the gardens. "Come, walk with me." The two walked the pathways, casually talking about things such as rebuilding Gustave's kingdom. "With Princess Peach's help, my homeland should be restored soon." Gustave said. "But please, tell me how you are. How are you adjusting to life here?" "It's... different," Mario confessed, "but so amazing. Never had anything like the Mushroom Kingdom back where I'm from." "And your brother? I hope his wounds are healing up." Mario stopped dead in his tracks. "W-Wounds?" Gustave turned to look at him, surprised. "He did not tell you?" His voice softened. "Your brother suffered horrific torment at the hands of Bowser. And yet, he remained as brave and kind a soul as I have ever met. Many would have broken at such torture." Mario's blood ran cold. "He never told me... I-I didn't..." He took a step back. "Please excuse me." he muttered, turning and breaking into a run.

He had to stop himself from bursting into the bedroom, instead forcing himself to pause, take a breath and open the door. "Weege?" Luigi was curled up on one of the beds, his back to the door. He sat up, giving Mario a tired smile. "Hey big bro." Mario came over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Weege, did Bowser hurt you?" he reached out and taking Luigi's hand, saw him wince. Mario pulled off his glove and gasped. Luigi's hand was covered in burns and burst blisters. He didn't speak as Mario removed his other glove, revealing more burns. "What did he do to you?" "H-He wanted to know about you, w-wanted to know how to h-hurt you." Luigi was trembling. "H-He held my hands over l-lava until they burned." Tears were gathering in Luigi's eyes. Mario saw a bruise peeking out from his sleeve and went to roll it up, but Luigi pulled away. "Is there more?" Nodding, Luigi tried to undo the buttons to his overalls, his hands shaking too hard from the pain. Mario gently guided his arms down and undid them for him before lifting his shirt. He could only stare in horror. Luigi's chest and arms were bruised with deep gashes and cuts all over. A few hastily applied bandages, caked in a mix of dried and fresh blood, hung loose from some of the wounds. "Oh my god..." "I didn't t-tell him anything," Luigi tried to sound proud, but his voice cracked. "I wasn't going to let him h-hurt you!" he finished with a sob. He leaned forward as he broke down and Mario carefully held him, feeling more gashes along his back.

A little later after Luigi's wounds were cleaned and treated, Mario and Peach were in the bedroom doorway, checking in as he slept. "He went through all that, and still managed to escape and save the others." Mario said. "Why didn't he tell you?" Peach asked. Mario pulled his cap off and ran his fingers through his hair. "Said he wanted to be brave, like me." Peach lightly touched his shoulder. "We'll make sure he gets the best of care." "Thank you, Princess." After watching her leave, Mario went in and sat on the edge of his bed, still watching Luigi. "Little bro, you're braver than I could ever hope to be." he said softly.

By CC.

#fanfic #mario bros #hurt/comfort #luigi

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lumpyrock · 1 year

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36 questions to fall in love (well, maybe more then that) Chapter 2

Bowser couldn't believe he was falling for this guy. He had been falling for at least a couple months, though he didn't realize it until a few minutes ago. The first time he could remember he felt this way was during a battle. He had Luigi cornered when suddenly another Luigi popped up behind him and gave a sneak attack.

The fact the tables had turned so quickly on him was shocking. He had never had that happen to him. He never thought Luigi could do anything like that, and ever since then he'd been (what he now realized was) trying to get his attention.

It was when Luigi asked the dinner guest question that he realized it, this was why he kidnapped him. And the fact that Luigi was blushing as well, that was amazing. Though, he had to wonder, why was Luigi showing a sudden interest in him?

"So, what's with this wanting to get to know me better thing?" Bowser said, turning to Luigi.

Luigi looked over to him, face reddening. "Uh, well, do you want the long version or the short version?"

"Oh how long could this story be? Medium version."

"Well, I was on a date with Daisy recently, and she thought it would be a good idea to do these 36 questions that are supposed to make you fall in love. Date didn't work out, but I remember about half of them." Luigi explained.

"To... make you fall in love? You're asking me love questions?" Bowser was trying to look intimidating but he couldn't help but smile.

Luigi started back tracking. "No, no, no! Not to make you fall in love, to get to know you better! It just happens to be the gimmick that you could potentially fall in love!" He rambled.

"Of course, it's just a gimmick." Bowser said.

Luigi blushed even harder. "Yep, just a gimmick."

"Totally a gimmick."

"Definitely a gimmick."

Bowser smiled even wider. "So, there are 36?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"Yes, and we've gone through two."

"We've only gone through two?"

"Well, yes..."

"Well, what's question three?"

"You really want to continue?"

"Of course! I love playing with my prisoners." He said while leaning on the armrest of his throne.

Luigi gulped. "Oh my..."

"Come on, spit it out! I won't bite!"

"Uh, well, do you ever practice what you're going to say before making a call?"

"No, I don't think so. What about you?"

"I do. Whenever I'm going to call Daisy, I really think about what I'm going to say."

"I see. Next question please."

"Uh, let's see, I think it was, what would be your perfect day?"

A tricky one indeed. He wasn't really sure. "How 'bout you go first?"

"Oh! Um, well, I think my perfect day would be spent at home. Or doing something casual, like going to a café. It feels like I never get a day's break. Your turn."

Bowser wanted to say, 'my perfect day would be spent with you', but that would be cheesy. So he went with, "I think I would want to go to that dinner with the person I said previously."

"Huh, I should've known you would say that."

"What does that mean?"

"I was expecting a different answer, honestly. But now that you say it, I relize I should've realized that that would be your answer."

"I could get more mad at that, but I'm not going to. Next question, please."

"If you could let me go right now, would you do it?"

"I know that's not a real question. Real next question, please?"

"Darn it! Fine, it was something like, when was the last time you sang?"

"I think it was the last time Peach was here."

"What did you sing to her?"

"Let me roll it by Wings."

"That's a really cool song."

"You like it, too?"

"It's a nice song."

"What about you?"

"This morning in the shower. Good old fashioned lover boy by Queen."

"You have decent music taste, greenie. I'm impressed."

"Aw, thanks!"

"By the way, do you need anything?" Bowser asked. "Food? Water? Anything?"

"Oh! Um, thank you for asking! I'm kinda hungry, now that I think about it."

Bowser stood up in front of Luigi's cage. "Come on, we're going to the kitchen." He said while grabbing his cage.

♡☆♡☆♡☆♡

Bowser put Luigi down on the counter. "Now, sit there while I make you a sandwich or something." He said while walking over to the fridge. They didn't have any regular bread! How was he supposed to make this guy a sandwich if he didn't have any normal bread?!

"Do you have any soup?" Luigi asked.

"I don't think so... are you alright with a giant sandwich?"

"You can just cut it into quarters."

"Right, that is a simple solution." Bowser said while getting out the bread. "By the by, what's your favorite band?"

"The Beatles." Luigi said.

"You're a little basic, I see."

"Yeah, I know. What about you?"

"I'm not much better, Queen."

"What's your favorite song from them?"

"Somebody to love. You with The Beatles?"

"I've just seen a face."

"Nice." Bowser said while cutting the sandwich. They had something in common. They liked the same sort of music. That was more then he could say for Peach.

He opened Luigi's cage and gave him the (what was still admittedly pretty large) sandwich. He then sat on the counter next to Luigi to watch him eat. After he finished, Bowser brought him back to the throne room. Little did he know, Mario was almost there.

#bowuigi #bowser x luigi #bowigi #luigi x bowser #luigi #bowser #bowluigi #mario movie #bowser/luigi #36 questions au #36 questions #they like classic rock!!!!

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pepperycar · 25 days

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“Nightmares and cuddles” part 2

As Mario and Luigi finished breakfast, Mario took his and Luig’s plates to the sink while Luigi dug out their new tool box “aww man, I’m such a-“ Luigi mumbled to him self angrily “what?” asked Mario looking up from the sink “oh nothing..” luigi whispered “it’s just.... back when I first landed in the Darklands..” Mario felt his heart skip a beat and thud hard against his chest when he heard “Darklands” he resisted the urge to clutch his hand to his chest and hyperventilate, he instead took a deep breath and let Luigi continue “I got so freaked out by the Dry Bones that I..” “that you what? Did they hurt you?!” Mario asked getting worried “What-no! No no nothing like that! I just... I lost the tools..” “okay and?” Mario asked “well.. some of them where expensive and- we’re lucky the Princess let us have this house for free because, they’re going to be a fortune to replace and..” Luigi paused “Maybe I can take a Power-up and quickly sneak into the Darklands and try to get them back-“ “NO!” Mario clasped a hand over his mouth, he hadn’t meant to shout, he expected Luigi to freak out from this, but instead he just stared, patently waiting for Mario to speak “I- sorry it’s just.. I don’t want you risking your life for some stupid tools!” Luigi sighed “Mario, I’d have a Power-up, I’d be fine! Besides it wouldn’t matter if I did have a Power-up or not.. the company and you are more important than me anyway.” Mario jumped and felt his heart drop then pick up speed when he finally registered What Luigi just said. He turned to see Luigi humming a little tune to himself before picking up the barely filled toolbox and headed for the door, the fact that he was so casual, like he hadn’t just said anything that would’ve broken Mario’s heart made Mario’s heart ache even more, he stared jaw dropped as Luigi went to open the door “if you want, I can handle Toad Town today while you take a break with the smaller jobs in Brooklyn, I know those Toad kids tired you out with all those autograph requests.. plus it’s your turn to be smothered by Ma, I still have a few broken ribs from her last hug!” He laughed “Lu-“ Mario jumped “yeah?” “I- nothing just promise me something..” “of course! What’s up?” Luigi asked with a smile a he lobbed the toolbox over his shoulder and was now practically out the door “just.. promise me you’ll never EVER, go to the Darklands on your own.. OKAY?” “Uh.. okay sure!” He smiled “we’ll get the tools back together!” Mario wanted to hug him and admit everything from his bad night to Luigi, but he stopped himself “That’s not what I- okay....” Luigi smiled and held the door open for him, Mario jumped to the warp pipe at gave one last wave and glance at Luigi, he waved back “see you this afternoon!” He smiled and Mario hesitantly jumped into the warp pipe.~~~~~Mario was having a rough day at work. He kept thinking about what Luigi had said ‘The company and you are more important then me anyway.’ He wanted to cry, he loved Luigi with all his heart and couldn’t bare to think that Luigi didn’t think he mattered, Mario took a deep breath and tried to focus on the job at hand. He was actually at the rich couples house (the one with Francis) that, in a way started their whole adventure. Mario finished screwing in the last bolt on the sink then peered out the window, the afternoon sun was half way in the sky, the cars parked out and driving by, the road and construction site now fixed.... until it wasn’t. Mario jolted upwards and pressed his face against the glass, Bowser was stomping through the street, building were destroyed, the road ripped up, cars smashed, windows shattered.... and Luigi. Luigi was in the road fumbling backwards as Bowser approached him “you think you’re worth saving?!” Bowser roared “you don’t even love YOURSELF!!” He laughed maniacally “I’ll do your brother a favour and dispose of you myself! Your life is worth nothing.... and you know it!!” Mario expected Luigi to go for the manhole cover to try and protect himself, Mario’s heart broke when Luigi just led there, nodding to Bowser. -To be continued.

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 9 months

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I messaged this to a friend but I'm too consumed with Ficino thoughts this morning so am putting it on the main-feed for everyone:

Obviously, as the assiduous followers of my Marsilio Blogging know, I recieved two more volumes of his letter collection recently. I had Volumes I and II already and have received III and IV.

Naturally, I went and skimmed all the ones he wrote Giovanni, first before going back and reading them as they were meant to be read.

It got me thinking about the slight differences between the included letters to Giovanni compared to everyone else.

Namely, the ones to Giovanni are more varied in that Marsilio includes the philosophical and theological letters alongside the far more day-to-day letters which don't, to my mind, hold much merit for a clearly carefully curated philosophical letter collection.

And Giovanni is the only one he does this with (of course). Not Piero Soderini, Angelo Poliziano, Bernardo Bembo—all close friends. Nor does he really do it with family—and he includes quite a few letters to his cousin Sebastiano Salvini, who Ficino basically raised as a son after he was orphaned at twelve. But none of them, thus far, have had that same day-to-day, familiar intimacy as some of those included to Giovanni.

Because Ficino was meticulous in what he wrote and what he included in his collected works! So it makes sense that he weeds out the letters of "Sebastiano, please remember to tell my brother, your other uncle, that he needs to follow up with that one guy about such-and-such business" etc. We have letters from him to his parents about all sorts of regular family business, including one consoling them on the death of his younger brother Anselmo in 1462 (I presume Anselmo was Sebastiano's father as that was when we know Sebastiano to have been orphaned even though I don't have info on who Seb's parents were [i.e., which of Marsilio's brothers/sisters]).

Ficino was a prolific letter writer (up there with Poggio Bracciolini) but many of them, of course, are not fit for a high minded philosophical letter collection.

Except letters to Giovanni. Including such gems as, “my [our] nephew won’t shut up about slings and arrows of fortune etc. Please make sure I didn’t chew him out too much in my response and send it on to him if it looks alright” and "I just got to the countryside and am writing to let you know I arrived safe. Here are some letters for people back in Florence, can you pass them on?" and "I miss you, please write to me more. I love you. Please write to me more. Have you thought about writing to me more?" and "Ok, look, honey, I get that I write you 5 million letters a week, and you can't reply to them all, and you're being very nice in telling me that you can't reply to them all, but I am bored and I miss you" and "if I see Luigi Pulci's ugly mug one more time I will commit a violent crime and I cannot be held responsible for my actions" and "saw my brother, he says hi" and "this one person is really annoying me, I've written many letters about it, please pick the least offensive one I wrote and send it to him," so on and so forth.

The seemingly more casual/non-philosophic letters to people not Giovanni are included for political or personal-score settling reasons (I'm thinking primarily of the ones to Giuliano and Lorenzo de' Medici about Luigi Pulci; some to Bernardo Bembo because it was to help demonstrate/symbolize the strong friendship between Florence and Venice, especially during the Pazzi wars when Bembo was in the hot seat back home in Venice for being so pro-Florence) etc.

I've got nothing profound or insightful to say in this, just expressing my Marsilio-Loved-Giovanni-So-Much Brain Worms. It's just very sweet that he included so much of their relationship, and their dynamic, in the collection! That's all.

#marsilio ficino #early modern italy #15th century #marsilio blogging #history #early modern florence #giovanni cavalcanti #renaissance

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nilliby · 7 months

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So I’m a bit late to post this but I’m doing Cringetober!

Here are some of the days I missed (because I forgot to post them haha)

1. Heterochromia

This was my persona was back in 2021, he has heterochromia because irl my eyes always change between blue and green (search up grey eyes) and I wanted to make him look cool!

2. Self Insert

I have had many self inserts a long long time ago but none of them were as crazily funny to me now as when I was obsessed with the Mario franchise (Luigi is the better brother, fight me), I won’t tell you much about that though, maybe if someone asks I might. This is a redesign to just to make her not look like a plumber and casual in general.

2. Overly-complex outfit

This is an OC I made a year ago, meant for me to go wild with her design. As someone who made very mix-match-“Harajuku-ish” outfits like these (and wore them outside, thinking I looked cool XD), she is very fun to reflect that childhood crazy kinda feeling onto!

4. Angel X Demon

For this prompt, I did not want to just make an angel-demon pair because I love being notoriously unique and not like other girls and special(/j) by going “x=merge”. So have a Pit (Angel) that went to every American emo store possible (Demon? I guess?)

More coming soon!

#cringetober #cringetober 2023 #kid icarus #I put that tag because of pit #not that anyone will see it anyways xD

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starlitships-moved · 2 years

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Had a long dream with Kamek, Mario, Luigi and others in it! I remember at one point I was mad at Kamek for stealing something from ( I think it was Kylie Koopa From the Mario & Luigi games )

It was food of some kind... I literally threatened him multiple times to give it back... And Kylie chased him at one point, and I actually managed to wait around a corner and SNATCH it from him because he didn't know I was there! XD I gave it back to her, and Kamek looked like he wanted it again... but I threatened him like, "KAMEK.... I swear, I will steal your hat AND glasses if you touch the food! D:<" And he simply went; "I have ear phones..." like he didn't care if I took his hat and glasses because he could listen to music either way XD

So I said; "I'll take those too!" And THEN he goes; "What?!? No!!" And eventually leaves the food alone! I remember telling him, I KNOW you're a villain, but this is too much!" I can't remember much else about interacting with Kamek... But we DID kinda act like an old married couple... XD

Had to ask mario to fix the pipe that Kamek and I apparently opened earlier, and he did and practically SPRINTED back over and casually leaned against the wall looking like he wanted something... and he did! He wanted a kiss on the cheek for a job well done! I kissed him, he was happy and then I walked off XD

I then saw Luigi and Waluigi looking like they were fighting... So I approached and said "Hey Luigi!" They both broke up the fight and Luigi was SUPER HAPPY to see me.... He LEAPT up and into my arms and I caught him, and called me "JACKRABBIT!!!" I replied, "Jackrabbit? YOU'RE the jackrabbit, you jumped so high! XD" He giggled and I was able to hold his weight for quite a while! He was juuust a little shorter than me! We literally stood chest to chest, arms wrapped around each other, practically glued to each other while just talking... ( he was super soft and squishy to hug, BTW! And he was really giggly around me XD)

I asked him if he was fighting with Waluigi, and he gave a literal death glare towards him... we talked a bit more, then I woke up!

#f/o dreams #long post #it was a really long and weird dream #and some parts didn't make much sense #just had to get this written down XD #☆~ship: 🗝skeleton key to my heart🗝~☆#🌿balmony garden🌿#luigi was VERY physically affectionate while kamek was affectionate in more private spaces #also kamek liked stuff like holding hands; touching foreheads together etc!#mario & I aren't a thing btw! I guess he just likes kisses on the cheek as a reward XD #🌟.txt

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theyhavetakenovermylife · 2 months

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Shadows Entwined: part 13 - Final

BatmanVsTmnt!Leonardo x sidekick!reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 / Bonus (18+)

A/N: It is happening! The series I started out my blog with is finally coming to an end! Or kinda, as I already have an 18+ bonus chapter in the makings for you😂💙

Warnings: A kiss that never got to be as heated as you and Leo wanted it to lol.

The reader and the turtles are 19.

That evening, after you had started packing the first half of your stuff into your suitcase, Batman surprised you all by ordering pizza from Luigi’s. That made Michelangelo scream out in happiness, almost tackling Alfred when he bought in the large stack of pizza boxes.

All of you sat happily in the Bat Cave, eating pizza to your hearts delight. Even Batman joined in, handing Robin a slice before biting into one himself.

The chatting was lighthearted. Donatello and Batgirl sat quietly at the corner of the table, having their own small conversation, with Batgirl’s hand gracing Donnie’s arm every once in a while. Raphael, Mikey and Robin started up a conversation about skateboard tricks, pulling Alfred in to hear his opinion, the butler politely playing alone.

You and Leonardo might have tried to have your own moment at the other end of the table, had your father not started engaging Leo in conversation, discussing your training. You found your cheeks growing hot in embarrassment, when Batman told Leo what he had noticed you could and couldn’t do in battle, fighting your need to remind your father of the night you met the turtles. Leo however, found it slightly amusing, watching your face growing red just underneath your mask, before asking your father about certain details.

After finishing up your pizza, you went back up to your room to pack the rest of your stuff, while the turtles got the van ready, under the guidance of Donnie, who stood to the side with his broken arm making it hard for him to help in any other way.

Once in your room, the first thing you decided to pack down was the hero costume you were wearing, before changing into something more casual. And as you were packing your bat-like uniform into the almost filled suitcase, you heard a soft knock against the doorframe of your open door.

You looked up to find Leo leaning against your doorframe, smiling at you with a soft friendly smile, his blue eyes shining your way.

“You remembered to knock this time”, you smiled, walking over to your closet in order to get your last few pieces of clothes out.

“Yeah, I feared that you wouldn’t hold back on me if I came sneaking again”, he said, taking a few steps into your room, watching as you moved around your room.

You shook your head with a smile, your stomach doing back flips when he stood just a few steps from you. “What are you doing here?”, you asked kindly. “Weren’t you helping with the van?”

“I was, but Mikey and Raph got a pretty good hold of it, so I thought I would come up and check on you”, he answered, his eyes lingering on your face for a moment, feeling warmth spread throughout his body. He did really like your face without your mask. “Do you need help with anything?”, he asked, following you as you walked to your desk where your suitcase was laying open.

“Yeah”, you chuckled, holding up a few of your shirts for him. “You can fold these”.

“With pleasure”, he smiled, taking a hold of the fabrics, his eyes lingering on you as you turned back to your suitcase.

Leo placed your shirts on your bed, before folding one in his hands, before moving on to the next. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you, but Leo could not stop the thoughts that crept up in his head. A small unease that would only go away when he decided to ask you about it.

“Are you really okay with staying with us?”, Leo asked, folding the second shirt you had given him. “I mean, New York is not exactly close to Gotham, and it is a little different”.

“I’m more than okay with it. It sounds like great fun, and I’m excited to learn”, you smiled, placing your pants in your suitcase before turning your full body towards him. “Are you not?”

“I am”, Leo smiled, taking a step closer to you, letting your shirt drop from his hand and into your suitcase behind your back with a small throw. “Just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel forced”.

“I don’t”, you said, leaning your back onto your desk, almost inviting Leo to come closer to you. And he did, taking a slow step closer to you, his eyes locked into yours, a shy smile on his lips. His heart singing in louder and louder happiness, the closer he got to you. “Like I said, I’m really excited to learn, especially from you”.

Leo looked down with a small chuckle, his shoulders shaking slightly. “Even after all your father told me?”

You pursed your lips, your stomach tingling at Leo’s smile. “You know he exaggerates a little in that area”.

“I know”, Leo said, his voice getting a little lower. “But there are areas where I would have to agree with him”. Leo found great amusement in your playful shocked expression.

“You’re lying”, you giggled, playfully slapping his arm, making his heart skip a beat when you hand on his arm, gliding up to his bicep. You sucked in a breath in anticipation when you saw him lick his lower lip, his face getting closer and closer to yours, reminding you of the night you and Leo almost had your first kiss.

“I would never lie to you, (Y/N)”, he whispered, two of his fingers finding and holding your chin in place, tilting your head up toward his. Your eyes locked together, your thoughts forgetting everything except the pretty blues in front of you, and the feeling of his breath against your face, before your lips finally met each other in a warm sweet kiss.

It was a soft kiss, with your lips moving together in small calm movements. The soft thumb and finger under your chin, turned into two soft fingers stroking your cheek. You rested your arms on his shoulders, letting them wrap around his neck in a lazy yet delighted move. Leo hummed at that, stepping so close to you that he was now standing between your legs, your thighs lightly touching his. He placed a soft hand on your hip, making you lean your head a little back as he pulled you closer with that small move.

You wanted to deepen the kiss, turning your head to the side and maybe open your mouth, even lick his lip in a request to let you in. Leo must have read your thoughts, turning his head in order to deepen the kiss just as you did, both of you getting ready to open your mouths to let your tongues meet.

“Eh-hum”.

You and Leo jumped from each other, staring towards your doorway, suddenly remembering that your door still stood open. You felt your world crash in embarrassment when you saw your father, still standing with his arms crossed and a knowing smile on his face, having changed from his Batman costume into his casual clothing of Bruce Wayne.

“I think Leo’s brothers are getting impatient”, he chuckled. “They seem very ready to go”.

“We’re coming!”, you said, hurrying off the desk in order to throw your last things in the suitcase, before quickly zipping it shut. Leo threw Bruce a weary look, fearing that he might have awakened some form of anger. But instead he was met with a friendly smile and a small nod. Your father could never be mad at a man that was willing to protect his daughter.

You hurried into the Bat Cave, where you found the others waiting for you and Leo. They looked up when Alfred rushed to take your suitcase, not letting you carry it down the stairs yourself.

“There you are!”, Raph yelled, throwing his arms into the air. “Don’t tell me we had to wait this long just so you two could make out!”

“No, they just had a few problems during packing”, Bruce said, giving you and Leo a small wink.

Alfred loaded your suitcase onto the van, while you had your goodbyes with your family, their masks off so they could give you a proper smile.

“See you around, (Y/N)”, Barbara said, pulling you in for a warm hug, resting her chin onto your shoulder. “You better text me when you get there”.

“I will”, you smiled, letting go of your sister like friend, only for your little brother to jump at you, wrapping his arms tightly around you with a scream that almost had you falling over. Your surprise was big, as you had never seen or heard your brother like this before.

“I take back all the mean things I’ve said to you!”, Damian yelled out, burying his face against. “I’ll be missing you, (Y/N)!”

“I’ll not be gone for that long”, you laughed, ruffling his hair as you pulled him close. “And I will visit”.

“Promise?”, he asked, looking up at you with tearfilled eyes.

“Promise”, you answered, holding him close for a moment, before he finally let you go, giving space for your father.

Bruce did not say a word. Instead he pulled you in for a big warm hug, unwilling to let you go a moment too early. You hugged back, savoring the moment, not sure when you would get to hug your father like this again.

“Good luck”, Bruce said before finally letting you go from the hug, taking a look at your face with a proud smile.

“Thanks, dad”, you smiled back.

You let go of the hug, turning towards the turtles that all stood waiting outside the van, waiting for you to finish your goodbyes, with Alfred being a true butler, holding the door open for them.

Donnie hugged Barbara goodbye, before following Raph and Mikey into the van, Leo waiting for you to walk in before him. But as you passed Alfred, you could not help yourself, giving the butler a quick stiff hug.

“See you around, Alfred”, you said, his body unmoving as he wasn’t ready for it. However he quickly softened up, giving you a quick hug with a smile.

“See you around, Miss (Y/N)”, he smiled, before letting you follow the turtle into the van, with Leo closing the door behind you.

Leo took the front seat, smiling as you took the passenger seat next to him, while the others found places to sit in the back of the van. You watched in anticipation as Leo turned on the motor, the van humming. You looked out the front window, finding your Bat family waving your way with smiles on their faces. All except Damion, who now stood by Bruce's side, hugging his father with one arm, fighting the tease as he waved. You waved back with a smile, before Leo started driving the van out of the Bat Cave and through Gotham City.

You watched in excitement as the building passed by the window, hearing the others talk about how happy they were to finally leave dark and rainy Gotham City. Leo’s eyes moved from the road to you and back again, a small smile spreading onto his face, seeing your eyes light up the closer and closer you got to the city border.

It didn’t take long before you were out of Gotham, the rain almost disappearing as soon as you crossed the border, making the stars in the sky clear.

You looked at Leo with a big smile, your eyes locking during the short moment he looked your way. You couldn’t wait to see New York City with your own eyes, and you couldn’t wait to start your training with Leo and his brothers. It would be like starting a new life. A new life with a pair of pretty blue eyes adoring you every step of the way.

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hxroic-wxlls · 2 years

Note

"You seriously got second on purpose."

"Now, now, I wasn't really interested in getting first to begin with. It was more to have fun in the end." She'll be busy talking to her daughter.

"Second is fine too." Was casually going to float around now.

The weather went back to normal since everyone causing it, saw no point in keeping that up. Though Hikari was busy dealing with her own pouty Bowser.

As for the rest? Bowser was lamenting himself getting 4th. Cranky was 7th. Why 7th? 5th and 6th went right back to their friendly duel except they were now using everything at their disposal. Including the bike Dante was riding the whole time.

“ Psst... Say, Mr Luigi? Ya mind teaching me that ‘Green Missile’ thing, later? That technique looks awesome! “ She’d whisper to the plumber, who was resting on a nearby bench.

It’s not like learning moves from her friends and family was something new to her, either. After all, she had Mario’s Forward Air and Up Air, Peach’s Back Air, Luigi’s Down and Neutral Air, and even more inspiration from the other kingdom inhabitants with her grounded moves... All these techniques, though, had her own spin on them of course!

“ Hm...sure! Why not? “ Well, that was easy!

As for Mario himself...he’d receive a kiss on the cheek, from the older princess, for doing such a good job...

“ Hahahaha...No problem, Princess! I’m just glad I could help. “

‘Aww...he’s so adorable!’ She’d think to herself. “ Anyways, why don’t we go inside? I’ll help with making everyone lots of good food! After all that, it’d be nice to settle down with something tasty. “

#warriorsofcrimsonrealms #{cheerful royalty: ic}#{older!au}#{okie dokie: ic}#{let’s’a go: ic}#{princess of the kingdom: ic}#{ask answered}

0 notes

trashyswitch · 10 months

Text

Crudity At Its Finest

Mario is famous for making dark jokes and dirty jokes in front of Luigi. And while Luigi enjoys them once in a while, he is nervous that Mario's gonna make crude mistakes he can't take back. One day...Mario says a dirty joke to the most innocent person they know...And Luigi is horrified.

⚠️Trigger Warning: Some crude humor is used in this fanfic.⚠️

And if the Nintendo characters seem very out-of-character in this one, then I apologize. This fanfic was just a funny idea I've had in my head for some time. Despite that, I hope you enjoy!

Ever since the boys were little, Mario and Luigi were somewhat opposites in many ways. Luigi was more like his mother, while Mario was more like his father. Luigi was more timid and shy, while Mario was outspoken and assertive. Luigi was more careful, while Mario was more reckless. Mario fit in with the rest of the boys, while Luigi seemed to prefer being part of the girls group. The list really goes on with these two.

Another rather lesser-known example of these contrasting differences? Their maturity. Mario was more playful and immature, while Luigi was a bit more mature in his thinking. Or…at least when it comes to dirty jokes or dark jokes.

It usually went like this: Mario tells a dirty/dark joke, Luigi usually gives him a warning while trying not to laugh at the joke himself. Mario catches him laughing and teases him about it, Luigi rolls his eyes and they continue on with life. Though Luigi does enjoy the occasional dark or dirty joke, there had to be a limit and unfortunately, Mario was the master of pushing Luigi past his limit.

Luigi could remember a time when Mario had made several dark jokes in front of him while they were just casually hanging out at the house. Luigi was sitting in the room, watching TV while Mario was looking at something on his phone. Luigi didn’t really know what Mario had been looking up. So when Mario had turned his head towards him, he expected Mario to say something casual or ask a question.

“Hey Luigi.” Mario said.

“Yeah, Mario?” Luigi replied.

“What did Kermit say at Jim Henson’s funeral?” Mario asked.

Luigi looked down slightly, trying to think. “I don’t know. Probably something heartfelt.” Luigi replied.

Mario smirked. “Actually…” Mario sighed. “Kermit said nothing…” Mario replied, keeping the smirk on his face as he waited for Luigi to understand the joke.

Luigi looked at Mario, confused. “Why wouldn’t he say anything at the-” Luigi widened his eyes and gasped as he covered his mouth. “OH NOOO!” Luigi shouted, visibly horrified.

Mario wheezed and laughed. Luigi’s reaction alone was enough to make a person die laughing. “Thahat took a bit! I’m surprised!” Mario reacted.

Luigi looked down, embarrassed. “That one’s depressing, Mario.” Luigi admitted.

“Okay, okay.” Mario cleared his throat. “My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.” Mario told him.

Luigi looked at him. “...Well, he’s not wrong.” Luigi admitted.

Mario chuckled. “I called him a hypocrite and uhunplugged his lihihiFE SUPPOHOHORT!” Mario bursted out laughing mid-sentence, slapping the side of the bed as he cackled.

Luigi dropped his jaw and stared at him, dumbfounded. “I-I- NO!” Luigi shouted. “JUST NO!”

Mario shook his head and put his index finger up to get Luigi to give him a minute. “IHIHI’M SOHOHORRY! IHIHI’M SOHORRY, Hohold on…” Mario let out a few breaths as he calmed himself down rather quickly. “Here’s a more light-hearted one for you.” Mario cleared his throat. “Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face.” Mario said.

“Oh gosh, I know where this is going.” Luigi replied as a little smile grew onto his face.

“For instance, when you push them down the stairs!” Mario declared.

Luigi hung his head and laughed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Gohohod dahahammit.” Luigi laughed a bit louder, tipping his head back. “Yohohou’re not wrohong.” Luigi admitted.

Mario smirked and highlighted another dark joke on his phone. “You know the phrase ‘one man’s trash is another man’s treasure’?” Mario asked with a smirk.

“Uh huh…I do.” Luigi said with a small smile.

“Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted!” Mario declared.

Luigi gasped and covered his mouth so he could stop the stupid, inappropriate smile that was growing on his lips. “NOOO! Dude, that’s horrible!” Luigi reacted.

“Don’t be acting like I didn’t see that smile. You liked it.” Mario teased.

“N-No I didn’t!” Luigi argued very unconvincingly.

“Come on…” Mario poked his side as a smirk quickly grew on his face. “Dirty jokes are like a kid with CANCER! THEHEHEHEHEY NEHEVER GET OHOHOLD!” Mario declared, cackling almost like a madman by this point.

Luigi eyebrows made the man look visibly worried…but don’t let that convince you he was truly so offended by his brother’s jokes. Because the smile that grew on his face told Mario everything he needed to know…Because no matter how dark the jokes are, and no matter how much Luigi wants to deny it, a few of those jokes had successfully made him laugh.

Though dark jokes were wonderfully hilarious, Mario was best known for his inappropriate timing on dirty jokes. Back in high school, Mario said the words ‘That’s what she said’ more often than he said the word ‘The’. It both horrified, and amused Luigi all at once.

But there was one specific time Luigi could easily recall, when Mario had watched a dirty joke on a video on his phone screen. Thankfully, it was just the two of them in the house…cause if Mama Mario had heard such things on Mario’s phone while in her house, she would’ve definitely used the pasta server on him.

Mario had been going through youtube videos, and happened to come across this specific video. It was of a girl with brown hair, wearing a darker outfit while talking to the viewer. Luigi happened to look over just in time to see the video pop up to play. She said the following:

“If you can’t beat your trauma, you should fetishize it instead. For example, I almost drowned when I was a kid, and now I can only c*m when I am being waterboarded.”

Luigi dropped his jaw and stared at Mario’s phone. But he quickly looked at Mario the moment he heard a little titter coming from his mouth.

“Don’t…” Luigi warned.

Mario was holding his breath, trying to not laugh. He seemed to take on Luigi’s order like a challenge. “Pfft…” Mario accidentally let out, covering his mouth.

“MARIO, NO.” Luigi warned again.

Mario kept staring at Luigi with chipmunk cheeks and the most mischievous look in his eyes you could ever see.

“Mario.” Luigi warned again.

“Pffft-”

“MARIO.”

“Pffftahahaha-” Mario threw his head back. “HAHAHAHAHA!” Mario cackled, flopping his back onto the bed.

Luigi sighed and covered his face, both annoyed and disappointed by his brother’s inappropriate humor. “You are awful at hiding your amusement.” Luigi muttered. Mario had started snorting by this point. “Ihihi *snort* Ihihihi knohohow.” Mario admitted.

Luigi shook his head before smiling and chuckling a bit himself. The truth was, he didn’t mind dirty jokes either. Some of them were funny. So technically, it wasn’t just Mario that had this humor. Luigi, and the person on the video, all had the same humor as Mario.

But the first time Peach would hear one of Mario’s dirty jokes…was a time Luigi will never forget.

Mario and Luigi had been hanging out with Peach on the porch of her castle, just chatting.

“What’s your favorite drink?” Mario asked Peach.

Peach smiled. “Homemade pineapple juice.” she replied.

Luigi nodded his head. “I can just imagine how cool and savory a homemade pineapple juice would be.” Luigi admitted. “Not a lot of juices in Brooklyn are really made from true fruits.” Luigi explained.

Mario shrugged his shoulders. “Well, they are. But they’re filled with endless amounts of sugar.” Mario added.

Peach huffed. “But that ruins the true taste!” Peach reacted. “So you’ve never tried a true, savory pineapple juice?!” Peach asked.

Mario and Luigi shook their heads. “Nope.” They both replied at the same time…ya know, like twins do.

Peach sighed. “You’re not leaving this castle until you’ve tried some.” Peach told them.

Mario shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.”

Luigi smiled and took a sip of his own drink. “I like orange soda.” Luigi admitted.

Mario rolled his eyes. “Too much. The dude could drink a full case of orange soda if he was alone.” Mario added.

Peach looked at Luigi. “What is orange soda?” Peach asked.

“It’s like a Chuckola soda, but orange-flavored.” Luigi told him.

Peach chuckled. “Do you have to make the oranges laugh to get the sparkly bubbles?” Peach asked with a giggle.

Luigi blinked, showing a confused look on his face. He tilted his head, still staring at Peach. “Wha-”

Mario looked at Peach. “What are you talking about?” He asked.

Peach widened her eyes. “Oh! You don’t know how Chuckola Cola is made?” She asked.

“Th-” Luigi lowered his head, dumbfounded. “They make the fruits laugh…in order to get sparkling bubbles?” Luigi asked.

Peach nodded. “Yeah.” She replied. “I know it probably sounds confusing because…you don’t have anything like that in Brooklyn.” She replied.

“Does it involve using grabon?” Mario asked, sounding super casual about it.

Luigi tilted his head and looked at Mario, before widening his eyes and rubbing his forehead. Oh no…This is another one of his stupid dirty jokes…and he was seriously going to use the trick on Peach.

Peach looked at Mario and tilted her own head, confused. “G-Grabon?” She asked.

Mario smirked brightly and pointed at Peach. “GRAB ON THESE NUTS, GIRL!” Mario shouted, cackling loudly.

Luigi sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Mario…” Luigi mumbled.

Peach just stared at Mario…purely dumbfounded by Mario’s statement. “...N-Nuts?” Peach asked.

Mario’s laughter lessened super dramatically…before looking at Peach with shock. “W-Wait…You don’t…” Mario paused his words.

Peach raised an eyebrow. “I…Which nuts are you talking about?” Peach asked. “And who in the right mind adds nuts to their chuckola cola?!” Peach asked, sounding almost offended.

Mario tittered and covered his mouth. “Yohohou seheriously have no idea what I’m talking about…” Mario clarified.

Peach blinked. “...Am I supposed to?” Peach asked him.

Mario wheezed and doubled over, laughing even more when he saw Peach’s stupefied face. “OHOHOHO MYHYHY GOHOHOD!” Mario shouted.

Peach frowned and narrowed her eyes at Mario. “I don’t like being kept in the dark.” Peach told Mario.

Luigi bit his lip and scratched the back of his head. “I…I can explain it to you if you want…” Luigi offered.

Mario snapped his neck moving it to see Luigi. “AHARE YOU-” Mario cleared his throat and smirked. “I wanna see this. I wanna see you give Peach ‘the talk’.” Mario teased.

“Well…for one, it was a dirty joke. You see…” the man started.

Luigi took a bit of time to explain what the penis was, and what the scrotum, the testicles, and the rest of the male reproductive anatomy was supposed to be called. He did his best considering he lacked a chart..but thankfully, it seemed like Peach was understanding it. Actually…she weirdly seemed invested in the conversation. And…seeing Peach able to handle such subjects, actually helped Luigi in explaining the explicit subject.

“So…Another phrase guys like to use to represent the scrotum and the testacles themselves, is…‘nuts’.” Luigi said.

Peach nodded her head. “Wait…So…” Peach pointed to Mario. “You said…Grab on these-” Peach gasped and covered her mouth. “I GET IT!” Peach reacted, clapping her hands like a child. “I get it! I understand my first dirty joke!” Peach reacted. “And as much as I would love to…” She looked at her nails. "I can't. But thanks for the offer~" Peach teased rather inappropriately, looking towards Mario out of the corner of her eye with a proud smirk on her face.

Mario choked on his drink and wiped his face with his sleeve. WHAT?! DID SHE JUST SAY THAT?!

Luigi couldn’t help the laugh that left his own mouth as he heard Peach. “Wohohow! I’m surprised at you, Princess!” Luigi reacted as he glanced over at Mario. “Not such an innocent princess now, huh-” Luigi teased, pausing his words part way to titter and giggle at Mario’s face.

Mario was looking down, using his hat bill to cover up his bright red face! Mario looked like he was ready to burst from embarrassment! “I’m…I’m sorry.” Mario muttered. “That’s not…”

Peach smirked. “What’s wrong, Mario? Didn’t expect such an answer from a SwEeT, iNnOcEnT Princess?” She teased before lifting up his hat slightly to properly see his face. Mario awkwardly looked up at Peach, looking like a super flustered, awkward guy whose joke had severely backfired.

Which…That IS what happened. His joke backfired, and now THEE Princess Peach, was making dirty jokes back at him! And IT WAS WORKING!

Luigi was laughing his head off, loving every moment of this. “This is the best revenge I could ever ask for.” Luigi admitted.

Peach looked at Luigi. “What do you mean?” She asked.

Luigi laughed. “He’s been making dirty jokes and dark jokes ever since we were able to understand them.” Luigi told her. “So much so that it’s beginning to drive me a little insane.” Luigi admitted.

Peach giggled and looked at Mario. “Since he’s now bashful and embarrassed…” Peach flicked the brim of Mario’s hat up and out of the way of Mr. Shy’s face before looking at Luigi. “Would I be allowed to put him in his place?” Peach asked the green man.

Luigi chuckled. “Yeah, go ahead! You don’t have to ask me.” Luigi told her. “If you wanna tease him or put him in his place, go ahead and do it.” Luigi told her.

Peach nodded and started tickling his sides and belly, before moving up to his ribs. “I think some tickles are in order.” Peach declared.

Mario squeaked and started wiggling around, giggling and laughing underneath her. “WAHAHAhahahaha! EEEHEHEEEK! PEHEHeheheach!” Mario laughed.

“Yeeeess, potty mouth?” Peach teased.

“Hehehehehe- NAHAHA!” Mario threw his head back as his armpits were attacked next. “HAHAHAHA- STAHAHAHAP!” Mario laughed, squeezing his arms shut.

Peach giggled. “And why would I stop tickling you, when you couldn’t even stop yourself from making those jokes?” Peach teased.

“BUHUHUT THEYHYHY’RE FUNNYHYHYHYHY!” Mario argued. “I don’t know…I’d argue that tickling people is more funny than dirty jokes.” Peach teased.

Mario shook his head. “NOHOHO IHIHIT’S NOHOT! NOHOHOT FOHOHOR MEHEHE!” Mario argued.

“Oh really~?” Peach asked. She looked over at Luigi. “Luigi, what’s more funny to you?” Peach started. “Dirty jokes? Or your brother getting tickled?” She asked next.

Luigi giggled. “Honestly, you tickling my brother is a lot more funny than any of his dirty jokes.” Luigi admitted.

Peach smirked and looked down at Mario. “Well, would you listen to that? Luigi thinks I’m more funny than you.” Peach teased, poking up and down his ribs.

“LUIHIHIGIHIHI!” Mario cackled, before attempting to push Peach away. “HEHEHELP MEHEHEHE!” Mario begged.

Luigi smirked. “Oh? You want me…to help you?” Luigi asked.

“YEHES PLEHEHEASE! HEHEHELP MEHEHE PLEHEHEASE!” Mario pleaded.

Luigi chuckled and took off his gloves, placing them onto the chair. “Okay…” Luigi picked up Mario’s hands and lifted them above his head. “You asked for it!” Luigi declared.

“Oh, how wonderful! Thank you, Luigi!” Peach reacted, before taking Mario’s hat and placing it on her own head. “There. Now I dawn the hat of heroes!” She declared.

Mario was breathing somewhat heavily and trying —but failing— to cover up his flustered face. “Ihi’m…I’m sorry…I didn’t knohow thahat yohohou…” Mario admitted.

Luigi shook his head. “Just because I said tickling you is more fun, doesn’t mean I want you to stop making those jokes.” Luigi told him.

Peach booped his belly. “You laugh funny.” Peach admitted.

Mario snorted and grew a wobbly smile. “Staaahahap.” Mario mumbled.

Luigi chuckled. “Just wait till he snorts. Now THAT’S funny.” Luigi told her.

Peach gasped and put her hands together. “He SNORTS?!” Peach reacted.

Luigi laughed. “You bet!” Luigi replied.

“LUIGI!” Mario whined, frowning as he pulled on his arms and attempted to cover up his face.

“A lot? Or a little?” Peach asked next.

Luigi smirked as he saw Mario’s glare. “Don’t.” Mario warned, narrowing his eyes at him. “A lot.” Luigi replied proudly. “LUIGIBASTARDO-”

Luigi yelped and started tickling his neck. “Watch your mouth, fratello!” Luigi warned.

Mario’s words paused rather abruptly. “eeeEEK- NOhohohoho! *snort* EEheeheeheheee!” Mario reacted, letting out high-pitched giggles.

Peach gasped and quickly started tickling Mario’s armpits again. “AGAIN! AGAIN!” Peach declared.

“WAAAHAHAHAHAHA! *snort* NAHAHA- *snort* HAHAHAHAHA-!” Mario cackled loudly, shaking his head left and right and throwing it back occasionally to laugh even more.

“Now hohold on, Peach.” Luigi let go of Mario’s hand to lift up Peach’s right hand.

While Mario took advantage and desperately covered up both his armpits with the one arm, Luigi managed to successfully stop Peach from killing his brother. “You don’t have to tickle him so much.” Luigi let her know. “Who taught you how to tickle?” Luigi asked.

Peach bit her lip. “I’m sorry.” Peach admitted.

Luigi smiled a bit. “It’s okay. But for the future…” Luigi placed Peach’s hand onto Mario’s belly very softly. “You just have to tickle him softly.” Luigi told her. “Watch me.”

Luigi took his time teaching Peach how to gently tickle Mario using very strategic, slow finger-wiggles. He did this by showing Peach his own wiggling fingers against Mario’s neck. Peach could immediately notice how it didn’t take much for Mario’s snorts to come out, despite being tickled a lot softer than before.

When Peach understood what to do, she began to mimic Luigi’s finger wiggles almost perfectly, making Mario giggle and snort a little more in the process. “Yeah! Yeah, there you go!” Luigi reacted, stopping his own fingers as he watched her. “See?” Luigi shrugged his shoulders. “Tickling is more fun when you’re softer with your touches.” Luigi told her.

It was almost like Peach had been opened up to a whole new side of tickling. She smiled rather eagerly as she kept going, making sure not to overdo it or underdo it. It was amazing! And she loved hearing his snorts! But…one thing Peach couldn’t help but notice…was how happy and comfortable Mario seemed to be, compared to before. While seeing Mario hysterical was okay too, seeing Mario all giggly from a few finger flicks, was even better!

It was almost…cute. N-Not that Mario was cute or anything…Well, he is…but…

Peach had to push her confusing thoughts down to properly focus on what she was doing. Because trying to tickle the way Luigi had taught her, was still abnormal and new to her. She’ll need lots more practice in order for her to multitask.

But there was one thing she knew for sure: If someone says stop 3 times or taps out, then it’s time to stop and give them a break. That was ingrained into her brain her whole life. And frankly…it was good advice…especially given her track record of giving people rough tickles.

Here is the video I was referencing for the middle story.

#dirty jokes #dark comedy #funny #brotherly love #brotherly affection #dick jokes #joke backfired #ticklefic #ler!peach #ler!luigi #lee!mario #fluff #shitpost

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blackhakumen · 2 months

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Mini Fanfic #1182: Morning After Their Love Making Adventures (Variety)

Mario & Peach

Mario/Peach: (Lets Out Very Satisfied and Relaxed Sighs While Laying Next Together on Their Own Bed)

Mario: Mamma Mia, that was so exhilarating......

Peach: And soooooo romantic too~ (Turns to Mario With a Loving Smile and Bedroom Eyes) You were wonderful from beginning to end, my dear~ The way you took charge and showering me with your affectious love~ (Forms a Sly Seductive Smirk on her Face) While looking very scrumptious I may add~

Mario: (Chuckles Lightly While Blushing) Come now, Peach~ You're giving me way too much credit here. You were amazing as you've always been last night. (Starts Rubbing The Back of his Head Back and Forth While Smiling Sheepishly) Besides, If anything, I'm more surprised by how good I look in those silk pajamas.

Peach: I know~ Not to mention how well blended it's color is to our room. I hope it didn't cost you too much of money though.

Mario: Oh no, it costed a lot more cheaper than I thought it could surprisingly. Cereza picked it out for me we went shopping yesterday. She even gave me a few pointers and a confidence boost along the way.

Peach: You've been coming to her for advice a lot now now, huh?

Mario: Only for romance related topics. She does a lot more experienced in it than the both us here.

Peach: ('Sigh') True. I can't even begin to tell you how many times her guidance helped over the years, oddly enough....

Mario: (Chuckles Lightly) I can tell. You've been a lot more outgoing and adventurous as of late.

Peach: (Casually Shrugs) A princess can break loose and have some fun every once and a while. I can't be always be uptight and boring forever, you know?

Mario: (Gently Plave his Habd onto Peach's Cheek) Hey now. You were never boring in my eyes and your uptightness is one of the manyreasons why I love you~

Peach: (Heart Begins to Melt in Pure Happiness) Oh Mario~ I have a so many reasons why I love you too~ Your bravery, kindness, handsomeness, and that cute squishy tummy of yours!~ (Playfully Wiggles Mario's Stomach Around)

Mario: (Starts Laughing Ticklishly by Peach's Antics) Oho really now?~ Weren't you the one who kept telling me to lose some weight?

Peach: And to stay healthy, yes. (Playfully Roll her Eyes) But I'd be lying if I say that seeing you with it hanging out hasn't aroused me in way~

Mario: Does this mean I'm off the hook from working out?

Peach: (Giggles Softly) Not even. How about i give your a nice cuddle session for your efforts~ (Gives Mario a Big Kiss on Top of his Nose) I'm very huggable~

Mario: (Happily Pulls Peach Close to Him in a Cuddle Hug) Reward accepted~

Luigi X Daisy X Lilith

The Trio: (Lets Out Very Satisfied and Relaxed Sighs While Laying Next Together on The Bed)

Daisy: Ohh man!~ That was one helluva night we had yesterday~

Lilith: (Smiles Brightly) I know!~ It was most fun and exhilarating one yet!~

Luigi: (Chuckles Lightly) You can say that again. You two went really all our this time around.

Daisy: (Starts Rubbing The Back of her Head Back and Forth) Yeah, sorry about that. We let our horny scales run more revamped there than usual......

Lilith: (Puts On a Cute Guilty Frown on her Face) We're sorry for being too horny~

Luigi: (Smiles Sheepishly While Quickly Shaking Both his Hands) N-No no! You girls have nothing to be sorry for, honest! If anything, I should apologize for being dull in comparison.

Lilith: ('Gasps')

Daisy: (Immediately Hugs Luigi Lovingly on One Side) Sweetie, don't say that! You were amazing through and through.

Lilith: (Hugs Luigi Lovingly om the Other Side) Your sweet, firm but tenderness love-making skills has never failed to make us happy and satisfied and last night wasn't any different!~

Luigi: You.... really think so?

Daisy: (Starts Snuggling Up on Luigi) We know so, babe. You've always done your best to keep up with us in your own way and come out on top. We couldn't be anymore proud of you than we already.

Lilith: (Happily Nodded) Uh-huh!~ (Starts Snuggling Up on Luigi on her Side of the Bed) You're a cutie in the streets, but MAJOR heart-throbbing beast out and under the sheets!~

Luigi: (Giggles Softly While Blushing) Ladies, please~ You're making me blush right now~

Daisy: (Forms a Cheeky Grin While Playfully Pulling Luigi's Cheek) Good. We need a good dose of your cuteness in the early morning~

Lilith: (Forms Mischievous Grin on her Face) Annnd as a reward for your hard work last night~

Luigi: (Raises an Eyebrow in Confusion) Hard wor-(Suddenly Felt Ten Fingers Wiggling on Both of his Sides as He Begins to Laugh) heheheheheheeheHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!~

Lilith: Morning Tickle Session!~

Daisy: ('Sighs Happily') So cute~

Vector X Vanilla/Bunnie X Antoine

Married Couples: (Lets Out Each of Their Relaxed, Collectibles Sighs as They're All Laying Together on Vector and Vanilla's Bed)

Vanilla: Goodness~ That was such a wonderful double date night we had~

Vector: Yeah, no kidding. I'm still surprised how well it all went out.

Bunnie: I'm down for havin' another one if y'all are.

Vector: Sure!

Vanilla: (Happily Nodded) Oh absolutely~

Antoine: Yes, that sounds be an excellent plan indeed. (Starts Yawning a Bit While Snuggling onto his Wife, Bunnie) In such a bright, beautiful morning tod- (Eyes Suddenly Begins to Widened Up) WAIT! What time iz it!?

Vector: Uhhhhhh......(Picks his Phone Up From the Dresser Right Next to His Side of the Bed)

Vanilla: Don't forget to put on your glasses, dear.

Vector: Don't worry, hon, i got it. (Picks his Reading Glasses Up From the Dresser and Puts it On Over his Eyes Before Reading the Tome on his Phone) It's......huh. Already 7:30.

Antoine: 7:30!? (Grabs Both Sides of his Hair in a Very Panic Like State) Oh nononononononononon!! It can't be happening!

Bunnie: Hey, Suga 'Twan, listen-

Antoine: I am supposed to be one of the formidable royal guards if the entirety of the Acorn Castle, always on time as I ahould and I'm already thirty minutes LATE!?

Bunnie: Suga 'Twan.

Antoine: What would his majesty would zay if I arrived thirty minutes? N-N-No doubt he would be furious, beyond disappointed but....(Starts Fearing For the Worst) What if he demote me to much lower rank? Even AFTER he promoted me months ago?

Bunnie: Antoine....

Antoine: OHHHHHHH! One of my many nightmares has finally come to ze light of this beautiful morning!! Ze horror, ZE HORROR-

Bunnie: (Immediately Grabs Both of her Husband's Shoulders) ANTOINE! Calm yourself, 'hon. Remember the breathing exercise your psychologist have been teachin' you lately?

Antoine: (Still Shaking a Bit) R-Right. Breath in.....(Takes a Deep Breath Before Exhaling Out) And out.

Bunnie: That's it, sugah, one more time now. Breath back in.....

Antoine: (Takes a Deep Breath Again)

Bunnie: And breath back out.

Antoine: (Exhale the Air Back Out) Okay.....I think I'm calm now.

Bunnie: (Smiles a Bit) That's good, baby, I'm proud of ya. (Kiss the Top of Antoine's Head)

Antoine: ('Sighs in Defeat') But what's ze use? It's only a matter of time before I get....('Sniff') Demoted.

Bunnie: (Forms a Reassuring Smirk on her Face) Not if you have a couple of days off and counting~

Antoine: Oh how cruel ze world i- (Eyes Begins to Widened Again) Wait. I have days off? B-But how?

Bunnie: I asked Sally Girl to convince her father to give you those days off. In exchange for her finishing up a few of his paperwork in advance.

Meanwhile at Sally's Office........

Sally groans very loudly with her head down and five mountain stacks of paperwork on her desk beside her.

Back at Vector and Vanilla's Room

Bunnie: I'm sure she'll get'em done for like......A few hours or so maybe? A day if the king decides to-

Antoine: (Happily Pulls Bunnie Into a Very Loving Hug) Ohh Ms Douce, Chérie Bunnie!~ You made ze happiest man in zis very house!~ (Starts Kissing on his Wife Cheeks)

Bunnie: (Giggles Ticklishly by Antoine's Affections) Yeah, yeah~ You're always welcome, honey bun.

Antoine: (Gives Bunnie One Big Final Kiss For Now) Wait a tick. (Turns to Vector) Vector, do you have any idea what time you're supposed to be at work today? I do not wish to see my own brother-in-law get in trouble for potential tardiness.

Vector: (Forms a Relaxed Smile on his Face) On the contrairé, my panicky brother-in-law, I'm on a few days off myself, on the account of me being my own boss-

'Ahem'

Vector: (Turns to see his Wife Smirking at Him with her Arms Crossed Before Chuckling Awkwardly) A-And Vanilly too. She's the real boss of this operation.

Vanilla: That's right~ (Happily Hugs her Husband) And as your boss, I order you to spend the rest of your appointed days off with you darling of a wife~ (Starts Kissing Vector on the Cheek Repeatedly)

Vector: (Chuckles Ticklishly by Vanilla's Kisses) Will do, boss!~ Loud and clear.

Bunnie: (Chuckles Lightly at Her and Twan's Fellow Married Couple Duo) You know, all this restin' already got me in the mood for some breakfast right 'bout now.

Vanilla: (Smiles Brightly to an Idea) Ooh! Do you want me to make all some? It'll make our day even brighter!~

Bunnie: (Starts Stretching her Arms Up in the Air) Only if you let me help ya out, cuz. I've been doin' some cookin' on my own time as of late.

Antoine: (Happily Nodded in Agreement) It'z true!~ You two must try her blueberry pancakes. They are truly divine worthy, justlike beautiful chef herself~ (Kiss the Top of Bunnie's Hand)

Bunnie: (Starts Blushing a Bit) Oh come now, Sugah Twah, no need to keep butterin' me up this early.

Vector: We've got a few more blueberries left for you to use in the fridge.

Bunnie: Blueberry Pancakes it is then. (Got Herself Out of the Bed) You boys stay in here while V' and I get breakfast ready.

Vanilla: (Got Herself Out of the Bed as Well) And once we finished eating and relaxing, we could start Round 2~

Vector/Antoine: (Raises an Eyebrow in Confusion) Round 2?

Bunnie: (Forms a Seductive Smirk on her Face) Y'all don't really think we're gonna put our love making session to close now, do ya?~

Vanilla: (Clasps her Hands Together While Putting on A Very Sweet Smile on her Face) Last night was sofun and adventurous that it got us yearning for more. (Starts Smirking as Well) And since our babies are scheduled to come back home in the mid afternoon......

Bunnie: (Place her Hand on Antoine's Cheek) What better way to pass the time than to continue showering you handsome fellas with some bunny love n' charm~

Antoine: (Love and Awe Struck at How Irresistible his Wife Truly Is) Oh mon amour~ (Gets Kissed on the Lips by Bunnie)

Vanilla: (Places her Hands onto Vector's Cheek) Does that sound like a reasonable plan to you, Vector-Kins?~ (Gives Vector a Very Loving Kiss on the Lips)

Vector: (Already Love Struck by His Wife's Kiss) Y-Yeah~ I'm down~

Vanilla: (Smiles Brightly) Spendid!~ I can't wait!~

Bunnie: (Smiles Brightly as Well) Same here! But let's get our breakfast on already! (Walks Out of the Bedroom With Vanilla Following Behind Her)

Vanilla: We'll call you if we need anything.

The wives then blows two kisses at their loving husbands before happily waving at them by the doorway.

Bunnie/Vanilla: We'll miss you!~ (Giggles Softly Among Themselves Before Heading to the Kitchen Together)

Vector: (Watches the Ladies Leave While Still Laying on the Bed with Antoine) So we're really going back at it again, huh?

Antoine: ('Sigh') It seems a job of pleasing your lovely wives iz never truly done. (Turns to Vector) Let us continue on giving it our very all, brother.

Vector: (Nodded To Antoine in Agreement) Let's.

The two brother-in-laws give each other fistbumps as they embark on the rest of the day going forward.

Terry X Mary

Terry/Mary: (Lets Out Very Satisfied and Relaxed Sighs While Laying Next Together on The Bed)

Mary: That was too damn good of the Nighy if I do say so myself~

Terry: (Chuckles Lightly) I'll say! (Turns to Mary with a Smirk and Bedroom Eyes) I dunno why, but I seemed to be keep forgetting how awesome you are at taking charge~

Mary: (Casually Shrugs) Hey, it's part of my job description after all. (Smirks Back at Terry) Though, I do love how lovely the sound of your moans are, Handsome~

????: Don't forget loud.

The couple gasps at the sight of someone standing in front of their bedroom's doorway who is none other than......

Terry/Mary: ROCKY! (Immediately Smiles Very Awkwardly) H-Heyyyyy!~

Terry: 'Sup there, little cub!

Mary: You had a good night sleep last night?

Terry: Or some......Sweet dreams at least?

Rock: (Already Has a Tires, Deadpinned Look on his Face) ............What do you think?

Terry: (Lowers his Smile Along with Mary's) You heard all of that last night, didn't you?

Rock: Yep.

Mary: (Notices the Opened Door in Her and Terry's Room Before Sighing and Facepalming Herself) Amd we didn't even bother to close the door behind us the whole time, didn't we?

Rock: Not. Even. (Walks Away) These walls aren't soundproof, you know?

Mary: We're sorry, sweetie!

Terry: We're be careful next time, we swear!....('Sighs Heavily') We gotta buy that kid those noise canceling earphones for his birthday coming up.

Mary: Agreed. Here's hoping there's cheaper ones this time around.

Shumako

Makoto: (Sighs Relaxingly as She Has the Side of her Head Laying on Ren's Chest) Valentine, the night of romance, has finally concluded for the new year~

Ren: (Casually Shrugs) Eh. It ended too soon for my liking. (Smirks Down at Makoto) I was really enjoying your "freaky" side all night yesterday~

Makoto: (Giggles Softly) I bet you were!~ (Playfully Rolls her Eyes) And I suppose your version wasn't too bad either, albeit cute~

Ren: (Playfully Scoffs) Honey, please. I'm adorable~

Makoto: (Finally Smirks Back) You goddamn right~ (Starts Making Out with her Joker) So cute~ Firm~ And the sweetest of all SORTS of areas!~

Ren: (Chuckles Lightly) apretty sure you fit thise descriptions a lot more better than I ever could~

Makoto: Maybe, but I'm not entirely qrong, am I?~

Ren: Not even for a millisecond~ (Kiss Makoto on the Lips) Shame we have to go back to our regularly scheduled program that is society.

Makoto: (Shrugs) Fun has to come to an end sooner and later. (Sighs While Snuggling onto her Joker Some More) I just wish this could last longer than it does now~

Ren: Eh I'm sure we could pick this back up later today if we're in the mood again. (Smiles Softly) There's no way I'm gonna leave my Queen high and dry like that all day

Makoto: (Smiles Back at Ren) Likewise, my dear Joker. Likewise.

Ren: (Sighs While Sitting Up amd Stretching his Arms Up in the Air) Unfortunately, I gotta start off my day in a few minutes.

Makoto: Aww....Already?

Ren: Yeah. I promised Sojiro I help him out with the shop today now that our Oracle's out in school.

Makoto: (Smiles Softly) I'm proud of her for coming out of her shell more often these days.

Ren: (Gets Himself Out of Bed) I'm proud to have her as my sis in general. No matter much of a nerd she is. (Points at Makoto) Don't tell her I said that.

Makot: Only if you promise to keep yourself out of trouble. I know you~

Ren: ('Scoffs') Please. My rebellious phrase is already behind me.

Makoto: (Playfully Raises an Eyebrow) Uh-huh, sure. (Smacks Ren's Ass)

Ren: (Burst Out Laughing) Makoto!~ (Turns to His Queen with a Very Playfully Smirk on his Face) I didn't take you for the kinky type at all~

Makoto: (Puts on a Cute Pouty Look on her Face) Oh hush up! It's your fault I'm like this.

Ren: Hey, you choose to be more loose. I just provide you guidance. Buuuut if I know you would like my ass that much, I'd probably would've show it off to you more often~

Makoto: ('Sigh') Just go get yourself ready already! (Smacks Ren's Ass Again)

Ren: (Chuckles Lightly) Alright, alright, I'm going. I'll miss you till then.

Makoto: (Starts Smiling Again) I'll miss you more, Ren-Ren~

Ren blows a kiss at Makoto before hitting the showers.

Makoto: (Watches Ren Walk Out of the Bedroom Before Taking a Deep Breath) One of these days......(Turn Over to her Side of the Bed and Takes Out a Black Mini Box From Inside the Dresser's Drawer) Might not be today, tomorrow or any of the weeks and months coming up, but ONE of these days, Ren Amimaya.....(Opens the Box, Revealing a Golden Ring Inside) I am GOING to marry you.

'To Be Continued

@princekirijo

@bestpony666

@caleb13frede

@cyber-wildcat

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

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elisabeth515 · 3 years

Text

(Some) Greek Gods as Historical Figures

So some days ago I secretly logged back into Mythology and Cultures amino and I stumbled across post of casting historical figures as the gods from Greek mythology. Of course, I hated it, so I made my version of this.

Note: Of course, this is going to have quite a lot of Napoleonic figures, since I am more familiar of this period, but please do reblog this post (or tag me on another post) with the hashtag “#mythical figures as historical people” and add some more of your historical figure Greek God fancasts!

Note 2: this post is for entertaining purpose, and just me introducing some guys to y’all and I am not a historian myself and hopefully you all would still like my takes😅

1. Zeus - Louis XIV of France

First and foremost, I shall introduce the king of gods featured in Greco-Roman myths. You may ask, why don’t I cast Henry VIII of England? Well, my reason is very simple: Henry is far from accurate to Zeus in actual myths.

To be honest, Zeus has a more “absolute power” energy in it, and Louis XIV totally has rocked it (like that iconic line “l’état, c’est moi (I am the state)”). Well, Henry also has that kind of energy but everyone only remembers his six wives and the uncountable number of bloodshed (not to mention Catherine of Aragon is a much better fighter than him—got this from Horrible Histories OwO)... Anyways, Louis XVI is basically a Zeus.

2. Hera - Catherine of Aragon

This brings to Catherine of Aragon herself. She’s a total Q U E E N and if you have watched “Six” the musical you already got what I mean (like, being the wife who married to Henry the longest). There’s also the early warlike aspect in Hera (featured in Homer’s works) that Catherine has it as well (at least you know that she’s getting more victories than Henry if you have watched Horrible Histories season 6, in the episode with Rowan Atkinson playing Henry VIII (which is sad because I want Ben Willbond to play him—he iconic to the HH fandom)), making her a great casting of Hera.

Hera, in my opinion, is a very strong woman who has to take Zeus’s shit and I could totally understand why she took revenge on the girls that Zeus has slept with—but anyways, hopefully you guys would like it :3

3. Aphrodite - Pauline Bonaparte

This is half-self-explanatory, really—just look at that statue she posed as Venus, the Roman equivalent of Aphrodite.

Pauline was famed for her beauty in her time, also a big chunk of scandals from her affairs (which bugs her big brother Napoleon, a lot). Nevertheless, despite her big spending habits and a great sexual appetite, she always helped Napoleon in some surprising ways (like she sold her house in Paris to the Duke of Wellington to get the funds for Napoleon).

Just like Aphrodite herself, Pauline harnessed her beauty very well. Thus, I rest my case.

4. Apollo - Joachim Murat or Emperor Franz Joseph I of Austria

(Warning: long content ahead)

Firstly, let me briefly introduce them because you guys might not know them much.

Joachim Murat was a marshal of France, also one of Napoleon’s brother-in-law, grand duke of Berg and Cleves from 1806 to 1808 and the King of Naples from 1808 to 1815. After the wars, he attempted to escape yet was caught and executed in 1815 in Pizzo, Italy (if you have read of Alexandre Dumas’s “Famous Crimes” you might know him—by the way no one has cut his head off and sent it to that big nose King Ferdinand).

For those who have watched “Elisabeth” or the “Sissi” movies, you might know Franz Joseph I of Austria already but you might not know much about himself besides being the husband of the (in)famous Empress Sisi (ie. Empress Elisabeth of Austria). He was the Emperor of the Austria from 1848 to his death in 1916—one of the longest reigning European monarchs in history. During his reign, the empire had been through a lot of change, most notably, the creation of Austria-Hungary. Nevertheless, he was also the Emperor who started World War I and he died of old age in the midst of the Great War.

For Apollo, I’m not casting musicians because this is quite overdone. I rather want to shed a light to the other arts that he represented in Greco-Roman mythology. This makes me want to draw a parallel to Joachim Murat as he was also a great sucker of classical literature. Plus, he also was known to be a flamboyant dresser (his nickname was “the Dandy King” by the way), also the designer of the uniforms of the Neapolitan army (with an excessive amount of amaranth, perhaps his favourite colour). Really, everyone just sees him as a great flamboyant himbo but in reality, he’s iconically badass in the battlefield as the First Horseman of Europe. Well, also he’s known for being extremely good with women even though his wife Caroline was fierce as hell. So, in my opinion, he fits the image of Apollo that we know.

However, you guys might feel surprised why I picked Franz Joseph for Apollo. Well, he really... was a rather mediocre ruler in my opinion, and perhaps our most memorable image of him was the senile emperor who signed the declaration of war to Serbia. Nevertheless, he was a well-liked man among his subjects, at least to some old citizens of Austria-Hungary telling future generations. Besides, culture flourished in Vienna under his reign—with notable figures like Sigmund Freud, Ludwig Wittgenstein and Erwin Schrödinger. Despite the series of unfortunate events which made the empire started to crumble, Austria-Hungary arguably has its cultural importance in Europe. Sounds like what Apollo would do if he’s a ruler, somehow.

Well, enough of his political achievements, let’s talk about his private life... which was probably the actual reason why I picked him.

Enter Duchess Elisabeth in Bavaria, the Empress of Austria and Queen of Hungary, also known as Sisi.

On a side note, Marshal Louis-Alexandre Berthier of France, Prince of Neufchâtel and of Wargram, was Empress Sisi’s grand-uncle in-law via his marriage to Duchess Maria Elisabeth in Bavaria

Absolutely love Pia as Elisabeth in the musical so please don’t mind me using a gif from this :3 ((also, “Elisabeth” spoiler alert

Franz originally was to marry her sister Helene (nicknamed Néné), nevertheless, on the first meeting in Bad Ishl, he has fallen for the young Elisabeth, head over heels—making him defying his domineering mother, Archduchess Sophie, for the very first time. Elisabeth also liked him and did not expressed her refusal either, so they got married in St. Augustine’s Church in 29th April, 1854.

However, the marriage was not well. Sisi was not accustomed to the strict Austrian court especially Archduchess Sophie (also she was not really a fan of intimacy). Poor Franz was rather helpless in situations between his mother and his wife, and eventually, Sisi chose her freedom over her duty as Empress, traveling around the world. They two briefly went back together during the Austro-Hungarian compromise, yet she was constantly not there. Eventually, Sisi was assassinated by an anarchist named Luigi Lucheni during her stay in Geneva, Switzerland, and Franz was devastated over her death (“she will never know how much I love her”).

To Franz, he loved her so, but he really didn’t understand her needs. Even though he had countless mistresses and female companions in Vienna, he still missed his wife. I say, he was really unlucky when it comes to love. Like Apollo himself, he dated countless nymphs and humans, but a lot of his notable relationships did not have a good end. (Probably Cyrene was the most lucky one, yet she also has chosen to be left alone after mothering several children with Apollo.) For this, I picked Franz Joseph as Apollo.

5. Ares - Jean Lannes or Michel Ney

As usual, for those who don’t know much history, I shall briefly introduce my babeys these two great soldiers.

Jean Lannes was one of the marshals of Napoleon, known for being one of Napoleon’s closest friends and his fiery personality, and is considered one of the best marshals of the 1st French Empire. His finest moments including the Battle of Ratisbon in which he led his men to storm the well-guarded city with ladders (hence his nickname “ladder lord” in our very humble Napoleonic marshalate fandom :3). Sadly, he died of the wound he received in the battle of Aspern-Essling in 1809.

Michel Ney was also one of the marshals of Napoleon, known for his extreme valour (yep, he is known as the “Bravest of the Brave”). As you might know, he was one of the marshals who was in Waterloo, yet, his finest hour was during the retreat from Russia in the disasterous 1812. Sadly, he was arguably the most prominent victim of the White Terror under the second Bourbon restoration, executed in 1815 (**I am not accepting any kind of conspiracy theories of my babey survived and died in America😤).

Speaking of Ares, I have a lot of things to say (that’s my dad ;-; no jkjk). He is really not that bloodthirsty idiot who casually hates humans. Well, he’s more like a fiery dork and a man who was very faithful to his lovers, and fights very well (by the way also one of the best dads). So, the bois that come into my mind are automatically two of the most courageous marshals of France.

Lannes, if I have to get him a godly parent, it would definitely Ares. He resembled the god a lot (also I sometimes imagined Ares as a smol bean with dark hair), probably looks the most like Ares himself. He got that fiery temper, that faithfulness to his wife Louise, also being a very courageous fighter in the field—well he literally was like, “NO LEMME STORM DAT CITY *grabs ladder*”.

There you have it, my big bro our ladder lord Jean Lannes who can pull off a perfect Ares.

Ney is like a slightly introverted (and mature) version of an Ares person. You can guess his temper already through his famed auburn hair, and indeed despite his shy exterior his temper sometimes was a bit explosive, and a bit impatient (which was somehow one of his fatal flaws). He was a great fighter, known as a skilled swordsman in his youth. And you all know how brave he is in his famed epithet. Michel Ney is purely badass (and C U T E) you know (and he needs a lot of hugs because he has really been though a lot in the wars, and was a possible case of PTSD which was shown in his arguably suicidal behaviour during the battle of Waterloo). That’s why I casted him as the Greek god Ares OwO

And there you have it, my interpretations on the Greek gods via people in history. I originally would like to include more but somehow I realised that I have written too much about my picks. So, if you want to add more, reblog this post or tag me on the post you made on this topic (and please use the hashtag “mythical figures as historical people” so that I could look into your choices via the search bubble on this app🥺).

Last but not the least, I hope you all lovelies like this, also have learnt something new via my brief introductions on some historical people. Have a great day!

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good-rwbyaus · 3 years

Note

AU where the entire war between Ozma and Salem is just one big chess game with the Huntsmen and the Grimm/Inner Circle as pieces. Bonus points if this is a RWBY Chibi skit. Even more bonus points if there are 20-sided dice rolls to simulate unpredictable elements.

#The Vytal Campaign - RWBY as a DnD Campaign - mod lilac [ Beginning: Ruby Rose] [ Spot Check: Jaune ] [ Critifail ] [ Reveal of the Mysterious Narrator ]

Salem and Ozpin play out an abbreviated version of the Lost Fable.

Salem and the Gods - Before the Vytal Campaign

An Ultraman figure, covered in a blanket, laid in a makeshift bed. Beside it, a blonde barbie doll knelt beside him, hands tied together in prayer. On the edges of the table are multiple chess pieces, mostly pawns and bishops, and some other dolls and action figures.

Salem: Oh gods. I pray to thee for Divine Intervention to save my Ozma.

Ozpin, amused: I’m pretty sure you don’t ask for Divine Intervention like that.

Salem, snappily: Hey. I wasn’t the one who wanted to spice things up by getting sick and ended up rolling two 1′s in a row when he tried to get better. Only you can make your character die in the epilogue of all things: now do you want Ozma to survive or not?

Ozpin held up his hands in surrender.

Ozpin: Yeesh, alright, you’re more invested in my characters than I am. Okay so Salem - also still don’t get why you insist on using real names or variants of.- beseeches the gods. Which of the gods do you want to ask?

Salem, pursing her lips: Guess God of Light first, I mean Ozma was a Paladin, right? He’s gotta favor you.

Ozpin: Let’s see what the dice say.

Salem tosses the dice. Clatter clatter.

Salem: ...

Ozpin: ...You rolle-

Salem, growling: Shut it.

The twenty-sided die Salem rolled proudly displayed a 1.

Ozpin: The God of Light doesn’t even bother descending in person. His voice just apologetically echoes. “I understand your pain, but you demand of me that which I cannot make so. Life and death are part of a delicate bal-”

Salem: Screw it. I pray to the God of Fucking Darkness. -tosses the die.-

Ozpin: I’m pretty sure you don’t want to do th-

Clatter clatter.

Salem: Ha. I rolled a sixteen!

Ozpin eyes the poor Ultraman figure on the table before dismantling it joint from joint. He then starts putting the legs where the shoulders go.

Salem: What are you doing?!

Ozpin, sardonically: You prayed to the god of destruction for my revival. Of course I come back wrong.

Salem, flustered. : Well. Well. I-I TELL HIM TO STOP. In fact, I insist! I roll to cast Greater Suggestion.

Salem tosses the dice. Her eyes bug out at the result.

Salem: Are these dice rigged or something? This is the fourth 1 we’ve rolled this session.

Ozpin: No rigged dice here. That’s just how they fall. -sigh.- Well, I guess the God of Darkness gets pissed o- No, you know what. Just to celebrate our 4th critical failure in the past thirty minutes.

Salem: Oz. No.

Ozpin, grandly: The God of Light is affronted by your attempt to influence his brother. He too appears in person. As his brother shakes off your Suggestion, he helpfully tells his brother that Salem went to him first. Cause he’s helpful like that. Out of jealousy, the God of Darkness roars and waves a hand at the poor, sad abomination he created. Salem catches a glimpse of Ozma turning his head 360 degrees to her, eyes wide and saying “My wi-” before disintegrating into nothingness.

....

Salem, glaring: Why do you insist on your characters dying pathetically sad deaths?

Ozpin shrugs and sips his hot cocoa.

Salem: You know what. This game’s gone FUBAR at this point.

Salem, dramatically: I swear vengeance against the gods. I swear to drag you all out of your stupid little pedestals and make you taste the cold hard ground.

Ozpin, affronted: Are you seriously pulling a Raven?

Salem, yelling: - smacks the table.- I tell the God of Light he fights like a dairy farmer and the God of Darkness that he fights like a cow!

Ozpin, amused: They’re gods. They’re perturbed by your insults but overall they don’t think much about your angry rant.

Salem: Uh huh, so you’re really saying that you made the god of Darkness go out of character then.

Ozpin: Well no. He’s just a bit of a special case. In the lore, he has an inferiority complex when it comes to his brother.

Salem, smiling: ...Really now?

Ozpin opens his mouth to speak.

Salem: Hey! God of Darkness, how does it feel being second best to your brother all the time? I mean, he created all the humans and animals and stuff, and what do you make? Some shitty ass Grimm. I guess it’s kinda fitting, given the rest of humanity thinks of you as a pathetic shadow of your brother.

Salem, whiningly: Oh look at me. I’m God of Darkness. Even my name makes me feel like I’M CRAWLING IN MY SKIN. I’m so hideous that my own brother locks me in a tiny little continent inside Remnant. At least I have a tiny pool of death and destruction where I can do unspeakable things to the bestial creatures I make.

Ozpin pauses in shock.

Oscar: ...Was that really neces-

Salem: You know what the rest of humanity thinks of you as? Your brother’s whipping boy. Always second best. The Luigi to a Mario. A Shadow the Hedgehog to a Sonic. A limp dick who can’t put one foot out of line in fear of his older brother. Because you don’t have the guts. For a God of Destruction, you sure are pathetically meek. When humanity finally rises up, your ass will be the first to get beat.

Salem tosses the dice.

Salem: HA! I rolled a 20!

Ozpin: ...Epic levels in Speechcraft, right?

Salem, proudly: Yeah. You know, the same epic skill that made my father, the King, trap me in that stupid fairytale tower - and I still managed to get all those heroes to kill themselves trying to save me.

Ozpin sighs before folding up his world-building notes. He then dramatically sweeps all the toys and chess pieces onto the floor.

Salem, confused: Oz! What are y-

Ozpin, loudly: The God of Light, seeing his brother quiver in anger, only has a chance to give out a dismayed yell before the God of Darkness screams in rage.

Ozpin, suddenly: ARGGGGGGGH!

Salem jumps at Ozpin’s sudden scream before glaring.

Ozpin: A shockwave of purple magic detonates around the God of Darkness. The hut they were in collapses. The pulse of magic extends past the forests, past the mountains, past the seas, and into the cities. It spares the stone and mortar but for the men and women it touched, it renders them into dust.

Salem stiffens, eyes wide.

Ozpin: The forest critters, dust. The sea creatures, dust. All that lives which touch the Cursed Wave, dust. Before long, the only living things on Remnant are two Gods and a human named Salem.

Salem, jaw slackening: Did I just cau- Wait, isn’t that a bit extre-

Ozpin, smirking: Nope. The God of Darkness has always been able to casually wipe out life on Remnant. Congratulations, you’ve pissed off a god so much that he wiped out Humanity and everything else.

....

Salem: ...We never tell Raven about this.

#the vytal campaign #rwby au #ozpin #salem #rwby salem #rwby fic #professor ozpin #raven branwen #Anonymous #mod lilac

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