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#brain rot to the highest degree
thisbellrings · 1 year
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musicalchaos07 · 8 months
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I am plagued with visions (I can't stop thinking about Jonathan Byers and Nancy Wheeler)
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aheeheemwhimper · 2 years
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yo peace love and light but idc who the victim is you cannot just post a gif of someone being shot dead on this website
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hier--soir · 9 months
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a lover's pinch | one
joel miller x f!reader
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pairing: professor!joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit, 18+ minors dni summary: a one-night stand with a charming texan turns into something much more thrilling when you discover he is your new college professor. warnings/tags: au, age gap [20 something years diff], alcohol consumption, irrational sexual tension, smut, sex in a public place w/ a stranger [and i'm talking depraved/zero time wasted/known you for thirty minutes type strangers], oral [f receiving], protected piv, rough sex, dirty talk, a spot of degradation + misogynistic language, a split second of soft!joel, you get the picture word count: 5.9k series masterlist | main masterlist a/n: my friends.... oh boy, oh boy. this series is a complete au, self-indulgent, fantasy land idea that has plagued me for weeks. horny academic brain rot to the highest degree. hope some of you enjoy it with me x
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Friday.
You sit with three almost strangers.
Listen to them talk about their summers and their families and their degrees as you twirl a straw around your half-empty glass, disrupting the melting ice as you try to wrap your head around what a master’s in environmental engineering might entail. One of them, the only man at the table, takes great pleasure in explaining it to you all for the second time. You take mental notes and hope he’s not expecting you to remember words like sparging and leachate.
They do ask you about your undergrad, and your internship, nodding and smiling curiously. They don’t ask what type of job you plan on getting after your postgrad, which is a welcome relief. The bombardment of questions from immediate and extended family is enough.
Cousins wondering aloud, saying you study Greek mythology, right?
Or your grandfather, before he died, berating you ad nauseam at family events about what’re you gonna do, kid? Be a historian? There’s no money in being a historian. Now, being a lawyer, that’s where the money is.
And you’d respond no, not quite Greek mythology, and no, I don’t plan on being a historian, as you gorge yourself on red wine and triscuits and wait for Christmas to end.
Thankfully you aren’t expected to rehash these scenarios with your almost strangers, who routinely ask a few well-mannered questions and then go back to talking about themselves.
After a week of living with them, in a new house, and a new city, you’re becoming used to their company. The way the four of you commune lazily in the kitchen most mornings, swathed in the light streaming through a window above the sink, making idle small talk as you wait for coffee to brew. How Pete and Trin study opposite each other at the dining table, while Nora prefers to spread her limbs across the couch, laptop balanced precariously on her stomach. She’s doing her master’s in education, which she describes as an expensive way to get a pay rise. She’s kind, with wild curly hair and dark humour, and is easily your favourite of your new roommates.
It was her idea to go out that night. One last hurrah, she’d called it. Before we enter the final circle of academic hell next week. And between four overworked, already burnt-out, twenty-something students, it hadn’t taken much convincing before you were sharing three bottles of wine and hightailing it to the bar with the highest Yelp rating.
The late August air is dry; a faint warmth that follows you into a quaint bar in downtown Biddeford. The space is small and crowded with patrons, with dim overhead lighting that casts a soft glow across the booth you’re crammed into. A thin sheen of sweat coats your skin, and your shirt sticks to your back uncomfortably. The others seem unbothered by the heat, nursing sweaty glasses and discussing how different Maine is from where they all grew up. You involve yourself here and there, offering up stories about your family and friends from back home, and suddenly an hour has passed, and then another, and you’re pleasantly tipsy, body humming as alcohol spreads its way through your veins, and your latest drink is practically empty, spare a few melting ice cubes.
“I need another drink,” you tell Nora, who nods absently before turning her attention back to the others.
You wander toward the bar, fumbling for your phone as you go. Fall in between two leather cushioned stools and rest your elbows atop the sleek wooden counter. Check your bank account and mentally traverse the list of reasons for returning to student-life when you see the number staring back at you. I don’t want to be a lawyer, I don’t want to be a lawyer, I don’t want to be a lawyer, your internal monologue runs, although you could admit how sweet a solicitor’s pay check would feel right now.
It’s a low, Southern drawl that pulls you from your reverie.
“Mind if I sit here?”
Deep. With a rough, lilting quality that piques your interest and has your eyes drifting upward from your phone screen.
You notice his body first; a tall frame with thick arms, thick shoulders, thick neck. A navy-blue t-shirt that stretches thin around his biceps, hugging the tan skin there. And then you look higher, and—oh.
Your heart stutters a beat out of time as you take in his face. Loose brown curls that are just long enough to hang across his forehead. Dark, almond-shaped brown eyes. So dark they almost appear black on the first glance. The strong nose and dark hair across his jaw, dappled with streaks of grey. A moustache resting atop a set of dark pink lips. Gone are thoughts of academia, of bank accounts, of your almost strangers. All replaced in an instant by wanton, pulsating desire.
Something like surprise cuts across his face, but it disappears just as quickly. In a far recess of your brain, you register that he must be at least twenty years older than you. You wilfully ignore the thought, perfectly content to continue admiring him.
A dark eyebrow ticks upward then, and you realise you haven’t responded.
“No,” you rush, flashing him a quick smile. “All yours.”
He gives you a pleased nod, a hint of a smirk passing over his lips as he sits down. He looks vaguely uncomfortable perched on the tall chair, all six-foot-something of him cramped onto such a small cushion. You cast a single glance back towards the booth, and then slip onto the stool beside him.
Silence descends between you for a moment. A song by The Eagles plays faintly, but you can’t figure which one - too distracted to make out the lyrics. You take a careful sip of the melted ice at the bottom of your glass, taste the last remnants of tequila in it, and watch him out of the corner of your eye.
“’m Joel,” that accent rings again, sending a volt of warmth through your chest.
You tell him your name, fingers fiddling with the hem of your skirt. If he notices the tension in your posture, he doesn’t let on. “You a Southern man, Joel?” The name feels warm on your tongue. Soft and silken like honey.
“S’it that obvious?” he grins crookedly, pink lips tearing back to reveal a straight white smile.
“An accent like that is hard to ignore,” you smirk. “It’s not a bad thing.”
‘Thought it would fade a little since I moved here,” he explains. “Y'can take the man outta Texas, but… you know.”
You hum, eyes alight as you watch him speak. His mouth is beautiful, lips parting around prolonged vowels.
“You here alone?” he asks.
“No,” you say. “With friends.”
“Let me guess,” Joel tilts his body, glancing around the bar. His shirt shifts with the movement, hem raising to reveal the slightest hint of a soft, tanned stomach. He points somewhere over your shoulder. You shut your mouth, careful not to gawp. “Them.”
You turn, a soft laugh of surprise bubbling up through your chest when you spy the bachelorette party set up across the bar. Women dressed in gaudy shades of pink. One of them with a sash—reading Jenny’s Big Day—across her chest, a short veil pinned to her head, and an empty champagne glass clutched in her fist. One of them teary-eyed, gripping the bride’s arm and yelling something in her ear, sloshing champagne onto herself all the while.
“You got me,” you turn back to him with a grin. Hold your hands up in mock surrender. “I wouldn’t be caught dead missing Jennifer’s last night as a free woman.”
The corners of his eyes crease, entire face blossoming into a smile now. He has a dimple on his right cheek.
“Knew you were a good girl,” he nods. Says the words in a matter-of-fact tone. Something twists in your stomach, and your palms dampen. You wet your lips quickly and don’t back down from his gaze, allowing the corner of your mouth to kick up a little.
“And you?”
His eyebrows raise in a silent question.
“Who’re you here with?” you clarify.
“Just you, darlin’,” he says, left eye dropping in a quick wink.
It's easy with him, you find, and the two of you sit there for a while; exchanging small talk about Maine, the hot weather, the music at the bar, slipping in flirtatious comments that are about as subtle as a neon sign, until he finally spies the empty glass in your hand.
“What are you drinkin’?” he asks.  
“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” you say, hoping it doesn’t come across too eager. He seems pleased though. There’s something provocative to his gaze, a teasing warmth that raises the temperature of your skin wherever he looks. But whatever it is, it’s gone by the time he reaches across the bar for the bound beverage list.
He peers at the menu, squinting ever-so-slightly to see through the dim lighting of the bar. The skin beside his eyes is soft and creased with age, crow’s feet that hint at years of laughter and smiles. You wonder again how old he is. How much older than you.
“Forget your glasses?” you tease, testing the waters.
Joel’s eyes flash up to yours. The muscle in his jaw ticks.
“Watch it,” he says. There’s a playful note in his voice, but it rings deeper somehow—a hint of a warning.   
Your thighs squeeze together on the stool, warm sweaty skin peeling off the tacky leather as you move. His eyes dart to the bare skin of your legs, and then back to the menu.
He orders you both a whiskey, and a moment later the bartender is sliding a crystal tumbler in front of you. A finger of amber liquid with a single grandiose sphere of ice resting in it. Fancy.
“Cheers,” he holds his glass out. You knock yours against it gently before taking a short sip, fighting a grimace as it burns down your throat.
He watches your face closely, tries to gage your reaction. You take another sip, holding strong in your efforts to show him that you can handle it. Whatever he wants to give to you, you can handle.
“So what brings you here?” he asks. You notice how large the glass feels in your palm, and how small it appears in his. Long, thick fingers wrap around the object, dwarfing it. He takes a sip, and you watch him swallow. His Adam’s apple bobs, and you want to graze your teeth across it.
“To the bar or to Maine?”
“Either.”
“Well, I just moved into town last week, from the West Coast. It’s actually my first week back in the US; I was travelling before the big move.”
“Busy girl,” his tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth. You blink. “Travellin’?”
“I was in Greece,” you explain, sip your whiskey and definitely don’t grimace at the harsh taste. “For a month or so.”
“A month in Greece?” His eyebrows raise and he does a low, impressed whistle that has your stare zeroing in on his mouth.
“Ever been?” you ask faintly.
“No,” his reply is swift. “Never had much interest.”
And you’re nodding absentmindedly, but you can’t seem to drag your stare away from his mouth as he speaks. The trance is only broken when he raises his glass for another sip, and you shake yourself out of it, eyes shifting to stare into his brown orbs once more. They’re darker than you remembered, gaze loaded as he looks back at you. The tension was palpable when you first sat together, but now it feels impossible to ignore; an electric tangle of wire between the two of you that just keeps getting shorter and shorter. And you think, fuck it, if you’re about to descend into the final circle of academic hell, why not have a little fun?
“Can I tell you something, Joel?”
You say it softly, make your voice as sultry as possible. He watches you over the rim of his glass, eyes sparkling with intrigue. And then his mouth tilts into a sort of knowing smirk, and he’s nodding.
“I’d really like to kiss you,” you confess.
He hums, smirk broadening.
Sets his glass down on the bar top with a soft clink, and then lowers his hand to the bare skin of your knee. You gasp at the contact, nerves fraught. The callouses on his fingers scrape against your skin in slow, rhythmic circles, goosebumps raising in their wake. His fingers are long, and as he tenses them over you, squeezing your knee once, you see the way deep blue veins flex beneath the skin, hot blood pumping through him. Your stomach turns molten.
“Is that all?” he asks, a taunting lilt to his voice.
Your mouth is dry, eyes wide as you sense the proposition in his words. The hint of something darker—something greedy—in his gaze.
“No,” you say definitively. “That’s not all.”
A sharp tut escapes his mouth, fingertips dragging higher on your leg as he shakes his head. “Do you have any idea how old I am?”
“Don’t look a day over forty,” you hazard a guess, resting your shoe onto the rung of his stool, using the leverage to drag yours closer. Both your legs are between his now, thighs bracketing thighs. The denim of his jeans scrapes against your outer thighs, and you shiver. His hand pauses, fingertips just shy of the hem of your skirt.
Joel wets his lips. “Guess again, sweetheart.”
A low heat licks at the base of your spine, spreading its way through your veins until you feel like you could combust at any given moment. Fuck it.
“Don’t care,” you mutter, and drape your hand over his. You trace your nails over his skin, feel how the bones shift underneath it, how warm he is. He still doesn’t move, face pensive as he regards you. You arch an eyebrow. “You approached me, you know.”
His lips purse tightly. Another squeeze to your thigh, fingers moving again. “I know.”
Driven by boldness, by arcane desire, by animalistic instinct, you lean forward on your barstool and rest your hands atop the thick expanse of his thighs. Hear his breath kick as your nose traces the side of his square jaw, lips settling at the shell of his ear. Right at the soft, sloping crest of his neck. And you whisper those same words again, quiet enough that no one in the world can hear it but him, can I tell you something? 
Your movement drove his hand higher on your thigh, the heavy weight of it now settled beneath your skirt, fingertips skimming the indent where your leg meets your hip, toying at the soft fabric of your underwear there. Painfully close to where you want him.
“Yes,” his deep voice rumbles.
Ever so slowly, your tongue slides out of your mouth to trail against his earlobe. Joel’s thighs tense beneath your palms, and you roll the balls of your thumbs against the muscles there.
“I want to kiss you,” you murmur. “So I’m going to. And then I want you to fuck me, just like I know you want to.” Your teeth graze his lobe, and you bite it once, gently, before rearing your face back to peer at him. “Hmm?”
The muscle in his jaw jumps, shifting beneath the skin, and instead of responding verbally he cups your face with a rough hand. Cool drops of condensation from the glass have stuck to his fingers, and the liquid smears across your skin as he cradles your jaw and draws your mouth to his.
Soft lips envelop yours, the coarse hairs of his moustache tickling your face as he steals the breath from your lungs. And when you lick into his mouth you can taste peppermint on his teeth, and then that oh so familiar whiskey tang across his tongue. You don’t mind the taste so much when it’s on his lips.
You nuzzle closer, dig your fingertips firmer into his thighs and grin when a deep groan falls from his mouth into yours. Wet heat pools between your thighs, liquid fire that stokes at your insides, begging for more more more of him. And, as if he can read your mind, Joel is dragging his mouth away, teeth grazing against your swollen bottom lip as he departs.
“Bathroom,” he says, voice low and commanding. “Now.”
Shock and excitement lace your blood, the proposition of something so dirty, so lewd, making your heart race. With your pulse a dull, thrashing roar in your ears, you allow Joel to help you down from your stool. Your legs feel unsteady now that you’re back on solid ground. Gripping your hand, dwarfing it in his, Joel tugs you away from the bar top and towards an obscured hallway. You amble past the bachelorette party, down the dark hall and then he’s pressing a dark hand against the ambulant bathroom door and dragging you inside, sliding the lock shut behind you.
Joel’s on you in a second, arms bracketing you against the door as his wet mouth slips over yours. His hands are so big, all wide palms and long fingers splaying across the entirety of your back, tucking you against his solid chest. He bunches your shirt in his hand, twisting the material between his fingers as he pushes into your mouth. Tongue hot and wet, gliding against your teeth, your tongue, tasting you, devouring you. there’s nothing polite about it. No more wariness, no more hesitation, no more eyes that could see the two of you at the bar. He’s insatiable, touching you everywhere he possibly can, and even then it doesn’t seem like enough for him.
“Fuck, I want you,” you say against his mouth. He makes a low sound in response, and one of his palms lower to grab a handful of your ass, dragging your hips against his. You can feel him, hot and hard, straining in the confines of his jeans. Your hand presses into the crevice between your bodies to palm him through the material, grinning into the kiss when he groans. His lips trail a slick path across your cheek, past your jaw.
“Gonna let me fuck you here?” his hot breath fans across your neck, tongue darting out to taste the salty sweat there.
“Yeah,” you say. “Fuck—yes.”
He steps back, dragging you with him, and then he’s turning you around so that you’re facing the mirror. Your hips dig into the sink, and he’s holding you there, forcing you to stare at your reflection as he bites and licks and sucks down your neck with reckless abandon, leaving marks in his wake. There’s a low, steady throbbing at the apex of your thighs, and you can feel how your underwear clings to your skin, damp and ruined. You whimper, tilt your chin up to give him access to more skin. He grinds against your ass in response, and then he’s crouching down on the ground behind you.
Fast hands push your skirt up over your hips and then flare across your ass, massaging the flesh there. You feel a nip of teeth against the sensitive skin there and flinch into the porcelain. He makes quick work of dragging your underwear down to dangle precariously at your knees. And then long fingers are spreading you apart, revealing you to him. You tilt your hips back so he can see more. Moan at the sensation of cool air rushing to meet your dripping core.
You think you can hear him speaking, but can’t be sure over the sound of your heartbeat in your ears and the low music playing in the bar. And then it doesn’t matter anymore, because you can feel his hot tongue glide through your folds, parting you like the sea. He buries his face in you, nose nudging against your asshole as his tongue swipes at your clit, moaning roughly as he absorbs the taste of you. You’re gasping, hooded eyes staring back at you in the mirror, and this time you can definitely hear him saying you’re so fuckin’ wet. The flat of his tongue smears from your clit to your entrance, and then he’s sinking it inside you. You reach behind your back and card your fingers through his hair, gripping the salt and pepper curls between your fingers and holding him against you. Joel doesn’t complain, groaning as you tug on his locks in encouragement, in fucking desperation.
Your thighs tremble where they bracket his head, threatening to squeeze around him at any moment if it weren’t for his vice grip keeping your spread apart. A choked sob of a moan claws its way out of your throat and then he’s standing again, chest against your back as you hear the clink of his belt coming undone, and he’s saying, I know, I know, you need it so bad, don’t you?
Your hand skirts around the firm sink and slips between your thighs, fingertips ghosting over your throbbing clit. The sound of foil crinkling echoes around the room, and you hear him exhale a ragged sigh as he rolls the condom down his length. You peek over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of him, eyes widening as you take in the sheer size of his length. It’s long, with a prominent vein running from base to tip. It pulses, raging beneath the skin, practically daring you to drop down and run your tongue along the length of it. And you would if you thought he’d let you.
“Shit,” you breathe, skin tingling with a fresh wave of nerves and anticipation.
“It’s alright,” his voice is a low rasp, filling your ears like molasses, and his hand is rising to push stray hairs out of your face. “So fuckin’ wet f’me, I know you can take it, honey. You gonna show me how good you take co—”
He cuts himself off, eyes narrowing as he spots your fingers shifting between your thighs.
“So impatient,” he smacks your hand away with a grunt. “Silly little slut, can’t wait just a minute for me?”
A broken moan falls from your lips, shameful heat soaring through your chest. You shouldn’t love the way that word sounds falling from his lips, shouldn’t be so turned on by it, but you can feel how the ache in your core intensifies, and so you push your hips back against him.
“’m sorry,” you whine pitifully.
“You want it that bad?” Joel asks. His lips brush your earlobe as he nudges the thick head of his cock between your folds, gliding it through your slick once, twice, before notching himself at your entrance.
“I want it,” you gasp. “Wanted it from the second I saw you, Joel, please, pleas—”
Joel curses under his breath and loops a hand around your front, pushing the neckline of your shirt down to reveal your left breast. He slips his palm underneath the cup of your bra, long fingers pinching at the peaked bud of your nipple. Your skin burns under the attention, and you push your chest further into his hold.
“Shit,” he grunts, beginning to press himself inside. “I wanna fuckin’—wreck you, sweetheart.” 
“Whatever you want,” you’re pleading, arching your back for him. Your fingers tighten around porcelain, bracing yourself. “Give it to me.”
You hear a muted, dark chuckle before Joel says, “Whatever I want, huh?”
And then he’s pressing inside you with a single, harsh thrust. His thighs come flush with yours and you gasp, face twisting at the sharp sting. The weight of him inside you is heavy, and you squirm at the intrusion, shifting on your feet. He allows you a moment—just a moment—to adjust to him, before he’s moving.
Joel finds a pace he likes and sets it. Heavy, unrelenting, expert rolls of his hips that have his tip brushing against the opening of your cervix with every shift forward. The air fills with harsh sounds of skin smacking against skin, and stilted moans and spilling from your lips as your hipbones collide rhythmically with the sink.
“Christ,” he spits, hand leaving your breast to grip your jaw. He forces your face forward, pace never slowing. “Fuckin’ look at you.”
You do as your told, gazing at yourself in the mirror. And you look wrecked. Hair a wild halo around your head, makeup smudged around your eyes and mouth, lips swollen and shiny with spit.
“Bein’ so—fuckin’—good,” he punctuates the words with his thrusts. His thumb digs into your cheek, and you can see him grinning in the mirror, lips peeled back to reveal that fucking perfect smile. “Dirty little thing, lettin’ a stranger fuck you like this.”
You mewl in response, stomach tensing as his cock grazes a particularly sensitive spot within you. Joel notices and seizes your waist, one hand holding you in place and the other falling to rub your clit while he pistons into you from behind.
“Shit,” you cry, eyes pinching shut as the intense medley of pleasure and pain begins to overwhelm you. Your orgasm claws its way up your chest.
“Yeah, you like that, huh?” he’s panting. “Can you feel you squeezin’ me, sweetheart. Go on, give it t’me, show me how wet that pretty pussy gets when you come.”
“Oh, fuck, oh—oh god, Joel.”
Your lungs feel empty, chest on fire as you rake in rapid breaths. Your entire body is constricting, muscles in your stomach drawn tight as you press firmer against the sink, thighs shaking with every impact of his hips against the plush of your ass. The pressure makes your head spin. And then something in the base of your spine snaps, and you’re falling apart in his grasp. Joel curses behind you, but the sound is faint, almost inaudible over the ringing in your ears. Your vision goes white, body shifting forward as he fucks you through the high.
And even as you begin to come down, muscles going lax and body slumping against the sink, Joel is relentless. He uses you; gripping your hips to keep them tilted at the perfect angle, and just fucking wrecks you, exactly like he said he wanted to. A stream of profanities fill the air as his movements become disjointed, and you know he’s close. Can feel the way his cock twitches inside you, desperate for release. You tilt your face to the side and stare at him over your shoulder. Those dark eyes meet yours and his face crumbles, hand reaching to grip your shoulder and hold you down as he nears the precipice. You rut your ass back against him and he almost shouts.
“Fuck,” he growls. “That’s it, that’s it..”
And then he’s coming, cock jerking inside you in sporadic movements, and you’re wishing he hadn’t worn a condom so you could feel the heat of him spread inside your cunt. It’s intense, the yearning you feel to have him dripping out of you once he’s gone. But you settle for watching his face through bleary eyes, admiring the way his lips part and chin tilts towards the ceiling, eyes pinching closed as his body convulses against you. 
For an all too brief moment, Joel doesn’t move. He slumps against your back, forehead resting in the gap between your shoulder blades, and just breathes. Haggard, drawn out exhales that send whisps of your hair flying forward into your face but you don’t care, too blissed out and relaxed underneath his weight to say anything. And then he’s straightening, and you gasp in unison as he grips your waist and slips out of you. There’s a determined ache between your thighs, pussy clenching around his absence, missing the weight of him already.
You sag onto the cold surface. Your mind is a blur, senses dulled from the intensity of your orgasm. The music in the bar has increased, and you imagine that your roommates must be wondering where you are, but can’t bring yourself to care all that much. You can hear him throw the condom into the trash, then there’s a low rustling as he drags his boxers and jeans back up his legs. Body trembling, you close your eyes and wait. Wait to hear the door open and close as he steps out, and leaves you in the bathroom alone, as you know he inevitably will.
But instead, you feel those hands, almost familiar now, grazing your back. They drag your panties back up and smooth your rumpled skirt down over your ass.
“Hey,” a soothing voice murmurs. “You good?”
You peer at him over your shoulder, uncontained surprise no doubt evident in your face. Joel’s expression is soft; cautious. He grips your shoulder and pulls you up, straightening your body. Drags a thumb over the corner of your mouth, wiping away the lipstick smudged there. His touches are so gentle, so tender, in comparison to a few moments ago. It almost gives you whiplash, and yet you find yourself melting under his gaze, because fuck, he’s handsome. 
“I’m good,” you breathe, and he bares his teeth in a smile, cupping your jaw.
“Sweet girl,” Joel says. His head shakes once, slowly, eyes darting across your features, as if trying to memorise them. “I’m gonna remember this.”
You heart is in your throat all over again.
Your fingers fumble to adjust your top, smoothing it out as you smile, humming, “Yeah… yeah, I think I will too.”
A heady silence swells between you. His thumb brushes along your lower lip again, eyes watching the way your swollen mouth yields to his touch. The tip of your tongue slides out and glides over the tip of his digit, just for a second.
“Probably got your friends all worried,” Joel says then, hand dropping to his side. “Must be wonderin’ where you got to.”
You swallow down the disappointment you feel. It burns its way down your throat and into your stomach, not unlike the whiskey had. I don’t care, you want to say. Take me home with you. But you nod and agree. Glance in the mirror and rake numb fingers through bird’s nest hair, trying to tame your wild appearance. You swear you feel his hand graze the hem of your skirt one last time, playing with the soft material while he stares at you in the mirror.
The bubble pops as he unlocks the door, outside sounds rushing in through the gap, infiltrating the space that once smelt like sex and lust and now just feels like any other room. Joel doesn’t kiss you again. Doesn’t touch you. He steps into the hall, and you follow him out. And when he trails toward one side of the bar, with a final lingering glance at you over his shoulder, you begrudgingly head in the opposite direction to the booth, where your almost strangers await you with curious eyes and pinched brows.
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Tuesday.
You feel hungover on the day of your first lecture.
A dull ache blossoms behind your left eye, a persistent reminder of how little sleep you had the night before. Your fingers wrap tightly around a tall styrofoam cup, and you take slow mouthfuls of the black coffee inside, attempting to savour the liquid gold, and letting the caffeine act as a saving grace for as long as possible.
You were normally so much better than this, too. Years had passed since your undergrad, and in the past you’d prided yourself on being punctual and prepared. But apparently one of the professors for this semester had it out for you, because when the required weekly prep work for your 9 o’clock Tuesday morning lecture was released the day prior, you were stunned to find that it included an entire fucking book.
After spending a dutiful two hours going over the weekly notes and required journal articles, you’d found yourself glaring at three sentences, written casually at the bottom of the professor’s notes.
Also, read Hesiod’s ‘Theogony’. It will do you well to have these ideas and themes fresh as you undertake the first weeks of this class. See you tomorrow.
Cue you staying up until two am reading fucking Theogony, and walking to your first lecture with a near-permanent yawn sprawled across your face.  
As you approach history commons, a guy wearing a bottle green shirt that reads UNIVERSITY OF NEW ENGLAND in garish gold lettering shakes a pamphlet in your direction. It has a picture of a girl in a tiny athletic uniform on the front, preparing to spike a volleyball. You avoid eye contact and sidestep him quickly, continuing into the building.
The theatre room is easy enough to find.
Thirty odd chairs line the space on an incline, all facing toward a desk at the front of the room. A projector hangs from the ceiling, displaying the beginning of a slide show on a white wall. The slide is a muted beige colour, with stark black lettering that spells out: The Language and Literature of the Odyssey and the Aeneid.
Your professor stands with his back to the room, shuffling through a myriad of notebooks and loose-leaf pages splayed across the desk. Standard.
You traipse your way up the stairs, buoyed along by the steady stream of other students shuffling into the room, and take a seat a few rows from the front. Not too far back that you seem disinterested, and not so close that your professor will notice you falling asleep on the first day.
You open your notes on your laptop and then slump back into your chair, slurping down the final morsels of coffee in your cup before discarding it to the floor by your feet. And then the room quietens as a final group of students file in, heavy door swinging closed behind them, and you allow your eyes to rest upon the man at the foot of the space.
He’s tall. It’s impossible not to notice that first. Tall and broad. A thin white dress shirt stretches across the arch of his back, fighting to pull free from where it’s tucked neatly into the waist of his brown pants. From where you’re seated, you can see a dark head of hair shaking side to side every few moments, the man muttering inaudibly as he peers down at his notes.
You glance down at your laptop again. Watch your cursor blink against the white screen. And then you hear it.
“Alright folks,” an all too familiar voice drawls. “Let’s get down to it.”
You stiffen in your chair. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, palms going damp as a memory flits through your brain. One of your own voice.
An accent like that is hard to ignore.
You can’t make out what he’s saying anymore, every word overpowered by the sudden roar of your own heartbeat in your ears.
Slowly—so fucking slowly—you peel your eyes away from your laptop and glance upward.
And there he is, in all his glory. Pearly white smile. Strong jaw. Dark eyes.
Joel… your professor.
Fuck.  
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thank you for reading!! x
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britishneonjello · 9 months
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Brain Rot of the Highest Degree for my PERFECT ANGEL THATS GOING TO SNOG HIS HUSBAND NEXT TIME HE SEES HIM
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No Pain, No Gain | Part 1 | PersonalTrainer!Aemond x fem!reader
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Summary: The personal trainer your roommate Baela recommended to you is rude, condescending but also hot as hell. Series Masterlist.
A/N: shoutout to my personal trainer Alex for rotting my brain. This is my first modern!Aemond fic, so any feedback is genuinely appreciated, I hope you enjoy this, it was an absolute ball to write (and there will be more!)
Also I could not post this without tagging some absolute modern!Aemond QUEENS who inspired me to write this. @valeskafics @oneeyedvisenya @sapphire-writes​ you’re the real ones! Also massive hug to @ewanmitchellcrumbs​ for hyping me up and being a parent to this child she didn't choose to create.
warnings: EVENTUAL SMUT, 18+, sexual tension, binge eating, mentions of breakup, cursing, dickhead Aemond, reader is horny af, English slang (soz), warnings will be added when needed
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To say you were broken-hearted would be a bit of an understatement.
You were angry, annoyed, frustrated, wound up tight and pissed off to the highest degree.
And it showed in how you acted these days as you polished off the salty family-size bag of crisps on your own in 10 minutes flat.
You look over at your phone and sigh when you see it’s already 6 o’clock in the afternoon. Another day sat on the sofa, wallowing in self-pity, eating yourself into oblivion and fairly soon pouring a glass of Baela’s finest white wine (now that it was officially almost evening anyway and it was justified).
Scrolling through instagram was like twisting the dagger that was already in your chest. All that stupid fucking app could show you was ‘ex in the bar with his new girlfriend’, ‘ex in the drive-thru with his new girlfriend’, ‘ex on the beach with his new girlfriend’.
It made you want to throw your phone directly at the wall. But you settled for squeezing the life out of it, imagining it was your ex’s stupid face instead.
The absolute waste of space had broken up with you over text on the night you were supposed to go out on a date. And as if that was not bad enough, not even two weeks had gone by before he’d managed to stick his dick into someone else with a pulse. At the time, you were so angry that you didn’t accuse him of anything, he’d already broken up with you. But you did suspect that this ‘sudden’ relationship he’d gotten into wasn’t as recent as first thought. 
It’s been a month since you found out about the other woman.
And clearly you were coping really well.
Indulging wasn’t something you usually did, but now you feel you deserved it. 
“Hello~” the soft, ringing voice of your roommate Baela was at the door. You half-considered hiding all the packets of various foods you’d managed to stuff down your gob, but Baela had seen worse of you. She’d seen you while you were throwing your guts up after freshers week at university. Nothing was worse than that and you shuddered at the memory.
She walks in, looking more put together than you by a long way, having been hanging out with her sister all day. That’s what you like about Baela, she’s not judgemental, and so when she sees you’ve barely moved an inch she just flashes her usual smile.
“Good day then?” she says with a smirk. You raise your eyebrows in return.
“Apart from seeing him plastered all over instagram I’m great” 
“Got any left?” she asks, extending a greedy hand for a crisp. You offer her the bag with a sigh as she slumps on the sofa next to you. She watches boredly whatever you have on the TV,
"Why don't you just block him?" She asks. And to be fair, she has a point.
But you huff and shove another crisp in your mouth, whining, "Cos I'm a nosy bitch with no boundaries"
Baela sighs, pulling out her own phone and scrolling through her notifications, "As much as I love you y/n, this is pathetic, even for you"
You'd be offended if she wasn't completely right. And you know she's only half joking so you just shrug.
"How was Rhaena?" You ask.
"Yeah fine, usual shit with Dad. Oh I didn't tell you-" she starts.
She has that glint in her eye which spells trouble. She's got gossip and you raise your eyebrows in anticipation.
"Hold that thought, wine first?"
"Obviously"
After giggling and waltzing over to the counter to pour two glasses of the finest box wine you could get for under seven English pounds, you hand her one and wait almost too excitedly for her to spill whatever sweet gossip she has.
She sips it, almost like she needs the liquid courage to begin, and she hisses at the sweet, acidic taste.
"God that's foul" 
"It was 2 for 1!" You retort with a laugh, but she is right, it does taste foul, "Stop stalling, tell me tell me tell me" 
She looks at you as if to say bitch, you are not fucking ready.
“Dad’s married Rhaenyra” 
The force of which your jaw drops open is almost comical. You’d guessed for a while that they were at least fucking, but to just elope?!
“I need money, cos I betted on this shit happening!” 
“Oh my gosh, Rhaena was fucking hysterical. Jace and Luke aren’t surprised at all, but Alicent is beside herself in the family group chat, it should honestly be a reality TV show” Baela says scrolling through said group chat. From what you can see without being too nosy, is that there’s a lot of long paragraphs and angry emojis.
“What about Viserys, surely he’s…” you ask, trailing off to sip the pissy wine in your hands.
“Oh no, he’s thrilled. Which pisses Alicent off even more if that’s possible”
“Baela I think your Uncle’s gone insane” you bite your lip to stifle a laugh.
“No fucking kidding”
You slump back onto the sofa, “Holy shit, I am a genius. I knew the whole time” you say, smirking in victory.
“And so humble too” Baela gives a sarcastic grin which you return.
“How do you feel about it?”
Baela shucks her phone onto the coffee table, sighing, “Not bothered, we’re all adults now, so it hardly makes a difference to me. Suppose it’ll get Dad to stop bringing back random women now” she says exasperated, “but Rhaenyra gets the impression we’re all really bothered so she’s invited us all to a retreat for a week. Think she just wants to butter us up for marrying our Dad”
“Oh? Anywhere nice?”
Baela looks over, giving you a wearied look.
“What?”
“Well that brings me to you”
“Oh god, what” you ask, dropping the tone to emphasise the seriousness of the talk all of a sudden.
Baela fiddles with the remote, in an attempt to appear cute, “Well~ There’s a spare ticket going and you’re my bestest friend. And I would hate to endure a week of watching my Dad eat Rhaenyra’s face off, so come with me please?” she begs.
You sigh, “Baela usually I would love to sponge off you like that but-”
“Pleasepleaseplease~” she begs, “Rhaena’s bringing her boyfriend and we’re basically together!” 
You fake a gagging sound.
“Oh come on, a week on a beach in bikinis,sweltering weather with as many cocktails as you can hold isn’t exactly torture”
You give her an incredulous look, opening your arms to emphasise all the bags of junk food around you, “Do I look beach body ready to you?!”
“Oh fuck off, you’re hot and have an ass that can keep the world fed” 
“I know I am hot, I just don’t feel hot” you stare blankly at the TV, trying to ignore her and stuff another crisp into your mouth.
Baela sighs, “I was just thinking it would be a nice distraction, that’s all” 
“I want to it’s just…” you start, trying to think of the right words, “...I don’t feel my best”
Baela gives you a playful slap on your arm, “Look, forget your ex, he’s dumb as fuck and it’s not solving anything by staying inside with the curtains drawn all day. If you want to feel better, might be worth taking care of yourself a bit, hm?” 
Fuck her, you think, rolling your eyes, she’s right.
You hate how often she’s right. Because she gets that look on her face when she is. Always has done.
“How about that gym membership you’ve not used since February?” she asks,
“Okay firstly, ouch. Secondly, I realised I don’t know the first thing about how to work out in a gym, besides the guys there were…weird”
You shudder at the thought. It was January and so all the new year’s resolution guys were at it in full swing, using the gym as a means to try and pick up girls. And since graduating you find that more often than not the guys who hit on you were students. Maybe it was different now?
Baela pokes her cheek with her tongue, racking her brain.
“One of my cousins is a personal trainer? I could text him to see if he’s happy to take you on. Mates rates” she smiles.
You side-eye her hard. You’ve heard briefly about her cousins. Some of the stories are a bit more…eccentric than others. And even though you’ve never met them, you’ve heard enough stories to satisfy your curiosity. 
“This isn’t the manwhore cousin, right? Because if it is then no” 
She scoffs, “No. Aegon hasn’t set food in a gym since graduating and he only went cos it was free. The personal trainer one is Aemond. He’s a bit…anti-social?” she pulls a face when she says it.
“He’s anti-social and he’s a personal trainer?” you ask, eyebrow raised, “makes so much sense”
Baela scrolls through her contacts, “Yeahhh. Don’t worry though, he’s just grumpy” she explains, “want me to text him?”
Your head falls to the edge of the sofa in a huff. You want to go and on top of that, it might be nice to finally have a break. That and you’d love to shove it in your exes face when he sees you’re on holiday looking your hottest. 
“How long ‘til the holiday?”
Baela grins victoriously, “A month and a bit. He does a month course for stuff like this, I can ask him about it”
What the fuck am I getting myself into, you think briefly.
Fuck it.
“Fine”
The force at which Baela’s nails tap against the screen is almost desperate.
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Baela snorts a laugh at the message and turns her phone to show you the messages.
“He seems lovely” you roll your eyes sarcastically.
“Like I said, he’s just grumpy. He’ll be professional though” she says.
You sigh, crushing the empty bag of crisps in your hands.
“Can’t wait” 
After following him on instagram, you did a bit of shameless stalking. You’d heard a little bit about Aemond from Baela talking about her family, but he seemed the most mysterious out of all of them (save for the youngest whose name she struggled to even remember). 
He had very little photos of himself, mainly progress pictures of other clients he’s helped. And he seems to be pretty successful so far. A girl with a similar body to you managed to get toned on his one-month program and looked hot afterwards, so you had some high hopes that it was possible for you as well. But you did wonder what he looked like. There were only two photos where he was in frame, and he’d been tagged by another person, looking away from the camera.
From what you could see, he was very tall, lithe and slim but built, with silver hair that had been pulled up into a bun. Ah, so he’s a man-bun type of guy. Yikes. 
Unfortunately, the photo showed very little of his face, so you couldn’t be too nosy.
You sent a very brief message, introducing yourself, trying not to cringe at the idea that he might be doing the exact same stalking to your instagram right at this moment. A shiver went up your spine at the thought. 
It’s only when you’re in TKMaxx with Baela, shopping for gym gear the next day, that you finally get a reply from him. 
“What do you think of just wearing a sports bra?” Baela says, eyeing up a black shirt.
You’re too busy staring at the message, “Hm? Oh, I’d just go in gym leggings and a bra yeah. Just got a reply from your mysterious cousin”
Baela hops over, “What’s he said? Nothing bad I hope” she grins.
 You show her the screen.
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Baela raises her eyebrows, “Very formal. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised” she says, seeming surprised that he’s at least cordial.
“It’s very ‘serial-killer-esque’ of him not to have a profile picture” you joke, locking your phone again.
Baela picks out a black gym set. Black leggings with a mesh pocket on the side for your phone and a black sports bra. You nod, “Yeah looks good to me”
“Oh please you’re gonna look hot in this” she smirks, leading you over to the counter to pay.
She rewards you for your efforts by driving you to McDonald's drive-thru. A send off to junk-food so to speak.
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And when Monday rolls around, you nod in the mirror. She was right, it does look hot on you. At least in the safety of your flat where there’s nobody to look at you. In a gym, surrounded by other fit people and a personal trainer you’ve never met? It might feel slightly different.
There’s a faint swirl of anxiety in your gut but you pull your trainers on, grab a hair tie from your nightstand and drive to the gym you’ve agreed to meet at. Luckily it’s your local gym, large and packed to the brim with some good equipment at least. And you briefly wonder what kind of workouts you’ll be doing before pulling into the car park.
You see him as soon as you enter the gym. He’s very tall, slender but muscular and fucking gorgeous. What the fuck, is all you can think when you shamelessly scan him from head to toe. Like the pictures, he has his long silver hair in a bun, with a few pieces having come free and falling around his face. His legs are miles long in the black sweats he’s wearing, as well as the black top that sticks a bit too snugly to his front and shoulders, making your mouth water a bit.
And you can’t help but admire his side profile, how his jaw just so naturally and sharply juts into his chin. How his cheekbones sit so prominently and high on his face, framing his features. His sharp, defined nose. And you can’t see from here because he’s looking down at his phone, but his eyelashes are unnaturally long for a man. It’s just unfair, frankly.
Shaking yourself briefly from the trance you were in, you right yourself and approach him.
He looks up to see you before you even have a chance to open your mouth. Now that he's looking at you face on, you can see the shocking blue of his right eye and the paler, soft hue of the other. Not only that but the angry scar that ran down the side of his face, extending from his forehead to the mid part of his cheek, straight through the eye.
You look at it for a split second, surmising that perhaps he's partially sighted or blind in that eye. But you choose not to say anything and instead smile with an awkward wave.
"Hey, you must be Aemond"
He openly drags his eyes over you, from head to toe, just like you did a moment ago without his knowledge. But now that you're standing right in front of him, in the gym gear that you totally don't feel a bit self conscious in, it feels a bit weird.
He doesn't reply for a moment.
"I'm y/n" you say, forcing a smile to your nervous face.
"Hm" he responds lowly, "Baela's friend" 
You pull an awkward face and nod.
You feel so stupidly small against this absolute giraffe of a man and you daren't step forward any more, for fear of looking even smaller under his judgemental and indifferent gaze.
He sighs and gestures for you to follow him, seeming disinterested as he looks down at his phone. For a brief second you wonder how this guy keeps his clients if he's this rude, but you shake the thought away, not wanting to judge too quickly.
He leads you into one of the consultation rooms, separate from the rest of the gym. He sits on one of the seats, sighing as if he's had the hardest day in the world and taking a swig of water from his bottle.
Sat across from him, you feel a bit small under his gaze. He's quite intimidating, you now find.
"Have you ever worked out before" he asks flatly.
You shrug, "I've tried I guess, but never super seriously" you laugh awkwardly, but he doesn't return it.
He runs his eyes over you again, as if to say yeah I can see that.
"Stand up. Shoes off. We're going to take your weight and measurements" he orders, going to his bag to grab some things.
It's beyond awkward and quiet in the room with him as he idly takes down your weight, height and current eating habits, which you've had to be more honest about than you'd cared to admit.
Standing in the middle of the room, he twirls his measuring tape on his fingers. He measures your upper body first, which isn't too bad until he gets to your bust. You try and look anywhere else in the room while he measures across it, his fingers landing softly at either arm, taking a note of the measurement. You internally scold yourself, he is so much taller and surely must be able to see right down the sports bra. It only serves to make your face heat up with embarrassment.
If that wasn't enough, he gets to your lower body, measuring your hips and then thighs. He gets to his knees to do it and you resist the urge to pull your hands into fists at the proximity of him to your intimate area, separated only by a thin pair of gym leggings and underwear.
He doesn't seem to bother himself with the awkwardness. And every time you look at his face, he seems indifferent, bored even. Even then, his face is unnaturally beautiful, even with the scar.
He must really not like people.
Aemond sighs having taken all his notes.
"We'll do one training session and see how much weight we can do" he instructs. You nod.
"I expect you to be in the gym four times a week, three in the week and once at the weekend. We'll do one session together a week so I can check your progress" 
His tone is so flat, all you can do is nod. He looks at you,
"Got it?" 
Your cheeks heat up, "Um, yeah"
"Good"
He leads you outside to the actual gym floor which luckily isn't too busy, side-eyeing you massively when you pull your hair up into a ponytail to get it off your neck.
His large form leads you over to where the mats are kept, haphazardly throwing two to the floor.
He doesn't say anything past one or two word commands and it's incredibly difficult to not look in the mirror in front of you to watch him as he stretches. The way he stretches his arms over his head and it lifts the hem of his shirt a little, showing his happy trail, biceps rippling.
And when he does leg stretches, instructing you to do the same, you can't help but stare at how his thighs are basically bulging out from his sweats. It takes all of your strength and will to not look any higher than that towards his hips.
He watches your form as you try and copy him stretching. And your heart almost leaps into your chest when he uses his hand to move your ankle slightly, so that you put pressure on a certain muscle. But he focuses completely, professional.
Fuck, be professional.
All caution is thrown completely to the wind when he gets you on machines. He demonstrates some of them first, starting with the so-called 'easier' ones, like the inner and outer thigh machines that look way too…suggestive.
Of course, he's got it on a ridiculous weight to demonstrate which makes you scoff a bit. And when you get on the inner thigh machine, it locks into place with your legs spread. You thank every god there is that there's no mirror in front of you on this machine.
"You have to start with your legs spread as much as possible" he states simply, pushing the pads against your legs even further. It makes your eyes widen, sinful thoughts pop up in your head. But before they take root you shake them away.
It's ridiculously hard the first few times and he raises an eyebrow.
"Really?" He mocks a bit, the tiniest of smirks on his face "you're only on 14kg" 
"Fuck off" you mutter under your breath. He tuts and changes it to 9kg, bruising your ego a bit. But you finish the set nonetheless.
You think he's a bit of a psycho, because after that little remark he has you on every leg machine available. Making fun every time you have to be on the lowest weight.
After the session, you're aching in places you didn't even know existed and you haven't even rested yet. Knowing full well you'll be achy as fuck tomorrow and even wlrse than right now. The faintest sheen of sweet is visible on your pinkened chest.
"You're weaker than I thought" 
He runs his long fingers through his hair and you want to slap that stupid fucking self-indulgent look off his smug face seeing you all out of puff like this.
"Thanks, means a lot" you say sarcastically, drinking from a water bottle. He raises an eyebrow at the attitude.
"I'll send you your workout plan. If you have any issues do me a favour and don't bother me with them" he retorts.
"Charming" you mutter under your breath once he's gone past you. You watch as he walks away, briefly appreciating his broad shoulders, until the sour taste of his poor behaviour settles in. And you huff, texting Baela immediately.
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You curse every god there is that you drive a manual car, because right now the thought of having your aching leg pressing on the clutch pedal might actually drive you to mass-murder.
This is going to be a long month.
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Taglist: @mrsgrwy @lovelykhaleesiii
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simon-roy · 6 days
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The idea of logging on a colonized alien planet brings my mind back to the planet Lalonde from Peter F. Hamilton's Night's Dawn books - a world that had very hard wood as its only meaningful export, and was also stuck developing its economy from agriculturalism (due to investment shortages, though).
All this is to say - Hey! What are some foundational inspirations for your sci fi verse? You gotta have some like recommendations of classic or older sci-fi for us, right? What are some of your suggestions of books and authors to read?
OK SO - My sci-fi tastes have sort of ended up in some very specific niches. Growing up, I was a Larry Niven +Jerry Pournelle man, in part because my dad amassed a huge collection of their books - then gave 90% of them away before i was old enough to read them. So one of my teenage missions was rebuilding that library, trash and all!
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Stuff like Footfall, Ringworld, Gil "The Arm" Hamilton, Protector (yes i attempted to name a comic series similarly, and paid for it) "The Mote in God's Eye"... you name it, I read fuckloads of these books. And while they tend to land on a sort of human chauvinist "mankind will win based on his inherent adaptive human-ness, and the aliens will fail because of their rigid alien-ness", this shit was very foundational to me.
Their more collaborative series, The Man-Kzin Wars and War World, also loom large in my teenage mind. The Man-Kzin wars are super fun - humans meet a race of tiger-men, and go from being NWO peaceniks to roughneck cat-skinners in a generation! PEACE AND LOVE WONT DEFEAT TIGER MEN!
Similarly, war world (like lots of that 70s/80s military sci fi) was a sort of catch-all for western military nerds to play with their favorite factions - it was a planet where all the un-ruleable ethnic groups and nationalities had been deported by the authoritarian earth government, and left to rot... until a race of genetically engineered fascist super men land on the world, and start trying to rule the place. Pretty fun shit.
As I got older, I turned hard into William Gibson, and read the absolute shit out of both the Neuromancer trilogy and the Bridge trilogy, as well as his short stories. Bruce Sterling was part of that wave for me, too, and I religiously sought his old paperbacks out too. In terms of novels, "Distraction" is my favorite coherent Sterling Novel - though the short stories in the "Schismatrix" novel/collection of his remain my absolute favorite space opera pieces.
At this age, too, I found my top-top fave Sterling Stories - "Taklaman" and "Bicycle Repairman", both gritty pseudo-cyberpunk stories of the highest degree, in this collection:
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This thousand-plus page collection of short stories and novellas was basically my bible for a few years - i put sticky notes on each story i loved and meant to return to, until the book was so festooned with sticky note bookmarks i abandoned the practice altogether. If you have the chance, just buy this book and chew on it for a few years.
As i got into my 20s, Charles Stross became my lode star - his books like Accelerando and Glasshouse were total game changers for me. They come with their own peculiarities, but I loved his transhuman/posthuman musings (or at least i was obsessed with his stuff for a good few years - the venn diagram of his obvious interests and my own overlapped enough that his books were great fodder for a growing sci-fi loving brain).
But since then, my main literary squeeze has been the great man, JACK VANCE. Working on Prophet, my friend @cmkosemen made a remark about how much the early issues of the series reminded him of a book series called "Planet of Adventure" or "the Tschai Cycle", by Jack Vance. The book has a beautifully simple setup - a man from an entirely undescribed spacefaring human civilization crash-lands onto a weird planet. But on that planet, he finds four separate civilizations, each who possess a population of enslaved humans, culturally and physically molded to the needs of their masters. And each book of this series covers our generic hero's interactions with each bizarre expoitative culture. I was extremely intrigued.
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Soon thereafter, I found my current absolute favorite book - "THE DRAGON MASTERS". A book about an isolated medieval world... which gets visited, once every few generations, by a black pyramid starship, flown by a reptilian race known as the Greph. The greph capture humans to (surprise surprise) breed them into hyper specific slaves... who in turn become Greph-like in their thinking and demeanours. But the last time the BLACK PYRAMID landed, a bunch of angry medieval dudes stormed the thing, blew it up, and captured a bunch of greph... who became the breeding stock for a whole new human world of slave labour. By the time we meet this planet, the two rival lords of the human-populated regions have been breeding greph slave warriors, or "dragons", for generations, for combat against one another. But soon, the black pyramid will return...
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I love this book I even spent a good few months during covid talking with the Vance Estate and several publishers about developing it into a graphic novel, but nobody could quite agree on how it could get made with old Simon getting a paycheque... so sadly it fell apart. There are concept drawings floating around my patreon and other corners of the internet. But one day I'll use 'em...
My other favorite books of his, to name a couple of the MANY books of his I love:
THE BLUE WORLD: A caste system of humans, descended from a crashed prison ship, live on floating settlements on an ocean planet, paying protection to a giant long-lived intelligent crustacean. But one man is tired of giving up all his crops to this tyrannical megafauna...
THE MIRACLE WORKERS: Rival lords on a planet descended to medieval tech (surprise surprise) fight using armies... and rival SORCERORS who employ the powers of suggestion to voodoo each others' warriors... but when facing non-human intelligences, these sorceror's skills fall short.
But there are heaps more, and I love most (thought not all) of the ones i've read. They're generally short, concise, and full of all sorts of bizarre bullshit.
THere are more books i've read and enjoyed in my life, of course, but these are the core ones that I think of when I think of my career as a sci-fi reader... let me know what your top recs are!
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Azar was appointed the highest military rank in Maar (I know you gave it a name but you were considering changing some names so does that include the title?) at a very young age, 22 if I recall, though you said you might change that. Nonetheless, she was very young when she got the rank. You said it was a matter of survival for her. I assume it has something to do with her half-Maaren half-Parsian lineage, as she'd be half foreign in Maar. Did something happen to facilitate her scrambling to rise through the ranks? Was she discriminated against? Were her relatives (evil aunt?) involved in that? Oh and how old is she actually, by Pars era 320? 22?
(It's a lot of questions, I know, and I know you usually don't like spoiling stuff but it's been weighing on my mind since I saw you mention “it was a matter of survival for her” and I just have to give it a try.)
Finally getting around to this.
I'm so happy that I'm not the only one who has Azar brain rot and that you all love her as much as I do!
So, small correction. Azar is 100% Parsian.
She does have family in Maar but only through second degree. The sister of her father married a Maaren farmer and built a family there (a pretty big one... I should maybe make a separate post for that). And it is at their, like, inn/tavern/farm in the village Rus where she grew up after being brought to Maar by said sister and, to some extent, Vahriz when she was one year old.
Now to the question that sparked your ask, probably.
Her "evil" aunt was part of the reason. Vahriz knew her when they all were young (or rather when he was young and they (also meaning Daryuns dad and Azar's mom) even younger) Their families were friends since their fathers were old friends.
So, a little spoiler for the AU, Azar's "evil" aunt (she does have a name, will do a post/poll about that later maybe with a few options)  was the one who killed Azar's mom. That's why Azar lives in Maar right now as her dads sister and Vahriz thought that she was safer there than in Pars. But that was proven false when the "evil" aunt ambushed Rus and gave Azar her first scar on her back (she tried to protect a few children in a church during the raid) when Azar was very young. After that the aunt attacked one more time and scared Azar's uncle (the farmer).
So  Vahriz brought her to the capital of Maar, Visgard, to receive proper training and that's when Azar became a squire. Vahriz felt guilty that he failed to protect her so he was very strict with Azar's training. He was so strict in fact that he exhausted her and brought her to her absolute limits. Others thought that Vahriz was maybe even too extreme. It was a very rough and hard time for Azar but for Vahriz, it seemed necessary. So she can protect herself with utmost certainty because he knows he won't always be there and he does still have a nephew he also has to look after. He basically drilled her and that's why she rose through the ranks so fast.
In the end it was Vahriz paranoia and guilt that drove her up the ranks so fast. A lot of people lost their lives the day Azar's mom died and Vahriz swore to protect and take care of Azar. But he failed in his eyes - twice. So he taught her everything he knew, drilled it into her, so she had a chance of survival when she came face to face with her aunt.
And due that and her vast skill set she proved herself to be a capable knight and leader. So she got appointed Almennt (I won't change the name for this one as in georgian it would be called generali and that does not sound serious at all (I do not say that as to mock the language, mind you. It just doesn't fit Azar at all)). I will probably change her age at the time to 23. Seems more fitting
And since we are at the topic of age and you asked how old Azar is in Pars era 320 (for those who don't know - that is our current time in ArSen) - she is the same age as Narsus, 26. She would probably be a few months older than him. So it has been three-ish years since her appointment.
(I hope I have answered everything you wanted to know!)
If anybody has other questions that you want to be answered regarding Azar/Firelight AU or any other OC I had mentioned or shown - my inbox is always open! I will write if it is something I won't answer if I regard my answer too spoiler heavy.
Edit: forgot the discrimination part. I have not really thought about that yet but considering where Maar's citizens originally came from it would be highly hypocritical. But there were (and still are (this time out of jealousy)) probably some squires and knights who were discriminating against or at least hated her due to King Farzin showing interest in her and sometimes training her personally alongside Vahriz. She probably got more discrimination against her with being a woman in one of the highest ranks in Maar since all of her predecessors were men.
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Been watching One Piece for a while now, I can safely say that it has given me brain rot to the highest degree
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blackbirdswillsing · 4 months
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tiktok needs to end
gone are the days of 2019/2020 tiktok when it was all just dancing and silly jokes
now tiktok is infested with extremists that should not have internet access.
wtf is lookmaxxing, seems like absolute brain rot. just say you’ve finally picked up a skincare routine, no need to tell people that their life is over just because of the position of their eye???
and i have never seen so many ultra nationalist far right religious extremists grow such a cult following so quickly, this was an app for dancing and comedy but now it’s a platform for malicious creators
tiktok needs to fall into the pit of shamed apps, there is a space reserved for it right between reddit and discord
completely ignorant individuals thinking they have a right to be horrible people just because they have a private account.
youre 32 years old phillip. stop asking girls to be your “thick thigh goth mommy 🥺” and get a fucking job.
also, 13 years old boys just discovered freud and nietzsche and think they’re the best thing since sliced bread. pseudo intellects will waffle their way through and argument and end up just insulting your family because they couldn’t win it
tiktok is brain rot of the highest degree
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portlandwithyou · 4 months
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My Favorite Releases of the Year
I've been thinking a lot about my favorite albums of the year. This is a collection of the releases that infected my brain this year. Now, there are very good, even great, albums that didn't make the list, but I wanted to bring only what truly touched me this year.
Without further ado, the list in no particular order:
GUTS- Olivia Rodrigo: In a year of many good pop albums, this one stands above the rest. The edgy lyrics manage to embody so much of what it means to be a woman in an honest way that feels authentic. It doesn't hurt that the music is catchy as hell. On "bad idea right?" the guitar, in particular, gets a moment to shine in a solo reminiscent of the Guess Who. Another track, the stripped-down "Lacy", allows a simple acoustic guitar to accompany the harmony-soaked track. Sophomore albums are never easy, but this one exceeds all expectations, and Rodrigo has carved a special place for herself.
Check Out Track: Lacy
10,000 gecs- 100 gecs: Another sophomore album that shows the band's talent was not a fluke. When the album was announced, we were treated with the song titles-- "Frog on the Floor"? "Doritos & Fritos"? What could these things possibly be? And when the album arrived, it did not disappoint with the answers to our questions. The songs range from nu-metal-inspired ("Dumbest Girl Alive") to ska-influenced ("Frog on the Floor") and beyond while continuing to push the pop boundaries with every track. Their growth is immense, and their pop sensibilities have only increased in the intervening years since their last album. At a scant 27 minutes, though, the album does leave you wanting more.
Check Out Track: Doritos & Fritos
So Much (For) Stardust- Fall Out Boy: If you've been following me for any appreciable amount of time, you'll know I have Fall Out Boy brain rot of the highest degree. But I am happy to tell you that this album is good even without the rose-tinted glasses. Stepping back into a more guitar-focused sound, the band returns to what they do best. The rocking opening track "Love From the Other Side" sets the tone for the album, with driving drums that constantly push the song forward and a taste of the grand orchestral sound they were so famous for in their first post-hiatus album, Save Rock & Roll. "The Pink Seashell", which features an Ethan Hawke speech from Reality Bites, serves as a thesis statement for the album, preaching the beauty of the everyday. This album was well worth the years-long wait, and their obvious joy when I saw them perform some of the album live this year filled me with the same jubilation.
Check Out Track: What a Time to be Alive
Freak of Nature- Heart Attack Man: This is the album on the list I have the most mixed feelings about. Initially, I must say I was disappointed in the shift into solidly pop-punk territory. I was a huge fan of their sound on Fake Blood which, while pop-punk at times, did show more of their emo influence. But Freak of Nature retains so much of what makes Hammy special- the unabashed anger of the human soul, laid bare for all to see. It took time for me to warm up to it, but songs like "C4" and "Like a Kennedy" have wormed their way into my brain. Having seen them live several times now, I can say they are refining themselves with every release and growing into a confidence that I'm sure will continue.
Check Out Track: C4
always cloudy- saturdays at your place: This EP was one of my highly anticipated releases of the year, and it lived up to all of the hype. The opening track, "Future", draws in the listener with a rough voice accompanied by strong harmonies before the song drops all vocals in favor of showing their ability to produce an amazing groove. The well-med "Tarot Cards" is a highlight, an emo track easily rivaling the greats of Modern Baseball. Every track is killer, showing the full potential of the band while furthering their sound. I do not think I am out of line saying I believe this will easily go down as a classic. You cannot look me in the eye and say that "Hospital Bed" is anything other than a classic of the genre. The band is finally heading out west early next year, and I am eager to see the EP live.
Check Out Track: future
Frame & Canvas (25th Anniversary Edition)- Braid: Is it cheating to include an album that is already a classic? Perhaps. But few remasters manage to do what the Frame & Canvas 25th Anniversary Edition has done. By now, the story of how this album came to be is well-worn, so I will not spill ink to repeat it, only to comment that we are all the better for it. This version of the album allows more space to breathe; no longer is everything muddled together in a jumble of sound. I want to highlight how well you are now able to enjoy the individual parts, such as the drums. If you haven't revisited this emo classic in a minute, this release is a sign to delve back into Braid and appreciate their sound.
Check Out Track: First Day Back
Medium Gnarly- Swiss Army Wife: Coming out just a few days into the year, this album set the tone for all emo coming out this year. The guitar work is phenomenal, the lyrics come hard and fast, and the two together simply demand your attention. Like others in this wave, the band deploys the use of screaming throughout the album to great effect, elevating the emotional level at select moments. Throughout the album, I was impressed by the restraint in the twinkle. You and I both know how vital The Twinkle is for emo music, but Swiss Army Wife earns every riff. I was recommended this album by @t---w, who shared a music video of their track "Halloween" and I was instantly taken. They're a delight who I expect to see end up on many year-end lists.
Check Out Track: CBS at 7:00
Southeast of Somewhere- Kerosene Heights: This is the most recent addition to my list. In the heat of FOMO, I decided to try Spotify in December despite my better judgment. The AI DJ dished up their track "Kathryn" for me, and instantly I was in love. When I listen to the album, I can't help but bob my head along as I yearn to hear the songs live. The songs demand to be heard loud in a sweaty bar as everyone screams along to the lyrics.
Check Out Track: Kathryn
Why Would I Watch- Hot Mulligan: Any follow-up to the much beloved you'll be fine was going to find itself under a spotlight, but the band managed to deliver another album of heartbreaking bangers. Much as before, their guitar work is sublime, and the lyrics demand to be memorized and poured over again and again. I had the pleasure of seeing the full album performed live, and I can confidently say they've grown so much from even when I saw them last year. Why Would I Watch is proof they were not a flash in the pan and easily cements the band as a leader in the much discussed fifth wave scene. I do wonder what comes next for the band. Is this the set sound? Will they branch out on the next release? Only time will tell, and I will be first in line to hear what they have in store.
Check Out Track: Gans Media Retro Games
Miracle- Equipment: Now, why am I putting an EP on this list when the same band released a full-length LP this year? Great question. To begin with, this EP is perfect to me. Not a single note or lyric was misplaced. Four perfect tunes that I listened to on repeat for months. I think I might actually have the opening of "Talk to Strangers" tattooed on my brain by this point. Meanwhile, I am still digesting the album, carefully picking it apart. I guess this makes it over its younger brother simply because it's tight. Not that the album is bad, but the EP is just that good.
Check Out Track: Talk to Strangers
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slothelixir · 8 months
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I forgot how safe tumblr is after not using this platform for god knows how long,,, been on twitter too long and that shit rly will give you brain rot to the highest degree
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naffeclipse · 2 years
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What if the Morgue AU lead to the Bounty Hunter Eclipse AU? Eclipse gets a new taste of justice (new type of thrill/calling) after hunting down the gang members who tried to end y/n. Maybe he could come to a compromise if he is allowed to still have that sort of power/control. If only I could write lol The slow build up, character growth/change would be amazing. The relationship dynamic between Eclipse, Y/N and his brothers is highest quality brain rot. Damnit, now I want to draw bounty hunter Eclipse :( So many things, so little time.
Oh, I don't see the Morgue storyline and the Bounty Hunter!Eclipse AU intersecting as once Eclipse is a mafia boss, he's not going back after that. There's no cure for him after he's crossed that point.
I hope to explore a very uneasy but shifting, hopeful dynamic in the bounty hunter alteration as I think it would be great to bring back some more Eclipse content in a scenario where he's not, ya know, trying to force Y/N to kill kids at his command lol. He's still a bastard, but he's less insane and murder-y by one (1) degree (though unfortunately, he's still got a thing for blood and Y/N, preferably with those two combined).
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wiltking · 1 year
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60% through revenant gun and im so mad because its so good but book 2 sucked so bad i very nearly didn't get to read this at all because of how dissapointed it left me, and i just backtracked an entire rant about how boring the titular trans masc character is because he's not my only problem with the series, but im frustrated because there is so much here. so much that specifically caters to my interests in weird scifi, so much that even dives into gender presentation and allegorical transgenderism that is so so SO delicious and unlike anything that exists elsewhere. i mean where else can i read about spacetime rot and math rituals and warships that are living creatures but no one knows they're sentient and feel pain when you fire the big guns and kill their young, and pretty geometry as weapons, and nonbinary military generals in positions of power and bi mass-murdering war criminals and an immortal morally complicated faggot with a codependant toxic relationship that spans hundreds of years where lust and murder are coexisting desires that still spike heat and elevate heartrates centuries later and even after betrayal of the highest degree, and died but came back wrong, and quotes like "IM YOUR GUN". and im mad. because it is all so unbelievably cool and sexy and enriching to my brain and stimulating to my neurons but so, so boring at times. it makes me want to scream
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7oranges · 1 year
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not having read greywaren yet and being on tumblr is a dangerous game. every single one of my mutuals has trc brain rot to the highest degree and it’s a miracle i’ve been able to avoid literally any kind of information ab the plot thus far.
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unsleepingtales · 11 months
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Ey life got chaotic but we press on. First up is Ravening War episode three reactions, hopefully soon to be followed by Ravening War episode four reactions, and, if we’re lucky, Ravening War episode five reactions. Let’s go! (also this is a long one just a heads up)
First combat episode this season I am HYPE
My partner prefers the role play episodes and I get that I really do but something about all the numbers and mechanics and trinkets in the combat episodes really tickles my brain
Colin :D
Aabria’s makeup on point as always
Fruity you say 😏
(Distant screams of ambushees)
Different degrees of strong and loose?? Malleable battlefield?? Ey??
Raphaniel so fucking ruthless Jesus
With a lot of swagger!!
Karna sweetheart
Karna why you gotta kill someone
Come on Provolone!
Aw lil Karna and Colin moment :)
You didn’t bring a carriage. You brought starfruit.
Awww everyone’s mini reveals
So excited to see Amangeaux fight
Gang it is once again Rick Perry Appreciation Hours
Sorry Aabria a WHAT kinda gal
Bloodthirsty radish yeesh
Karna is so real because if I had magic I also would just use it all the time regardless of how much danger I would be putting myself in if someone saw me
That looks like a real orange. Are you telling me that’s not? A real orange?
DOME ANTICS
I really hope that they do like. A series of destination/travel posters for Ravening War with the art they’ve been putting on the dome. I think those would be sick.
The camera movement this episode!!
God I want to work for them
Augh poor little cherries
The character choice “Actually no, she’s gonna be dumb” is so important sometimes.
A little fuck with your mind cantrip?
Mind sliver oooooo
It’s really hard to see a woman spiral like this 😔
This is happening TO me sir no it is not shush
COLIN DEALS NECROTIC DAMAGE????
Nothing can heal this person from this blade????
Oh my god.
Oh my god that’s fucking horrifying. As someone with GI issues? The visuals of that Eldritch blast are horrifying.
A little guy??? You can’t add a wrinkle to the encounter!
Y’know, if you wanted the rowboat guy to not notice anything. Maybe you shouldn’t have thrown a guy into the river?
Banana has the highest initiative???
You *feel* pretty hidden??
“Please full die”
Brennan was really trying for a Beardsley calling to Helio moment there and Did Not get it.
Like a delusional mary poppins <3
A Cody level turn!!
Pulling arrows out of her own body, still goes oof.
Chess jokes!
Ohohohoho intimidation
Oh god
Gonna kill Brennan with his own box!
Grape IS the worst candy flavor thank you Aabria for speaking the truth.
Pamela!
Brennan looks like he’s losing his mind lmaooo
Is Deli just gonna flat out kill her in one turn
Ooh that’s a cool ability ngl
Pompous Mockery? Neat
All the multiclasses this season are so cool! Giving me so many ideas!
Don’t kill Colin :(
Horrifying. Horrifying!
Everyone gleefully watching Brennan squirm is so fun
Oh time for some Raphaniel lore!
Oh my god??
Oh does that end his turn?? Does it?
Oh dear lord
That’s our third “how do you want to do this” in like 15 minutes jesus
Karna! So creepy! Love u bb
YOU. DIED. FOR. NOTHING.
Babe WHAT
Ohohoho the political intrigue
“No secret was worth this” Colin honey
Raphaniel is just so unhinged huh
Spiesssss
What. What’s up guys. What? Hello what?
TWO NAT 20S on this poor fucked up apologetic skeleton thing?
SPORES?????
If karna’s bardic just saved him that’s beautiful ngl
Zombies?? Calorum’s got zombies???
On a 22 arcana he’s got no clue? Damn
Oh god what if that’s what Karna would turn into if she didn’t cut the rot out of herself?
Hive mind? Mold hive mind?
How many people have visibly used magic now?
Ooh camera antics
And we go back below the food pyramid!
Sanctus Putris means holy rot jsyk
Oh god oh fuck oh no
Oh this is so reliant on shame. That has so many thoughts attached to it.
Guilt is being utilized so effectively here
I also feel crazy!
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