#I still love this show but there are a lot of clusterfuck situations
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Maybe I'm going out on a limb here but I think the real reason why Brendan said a Tedbecca endgame was never considered enthusiastically was because it stood in the way of Ted going home. Period.
They wanted to tell this father/son story so much, they couldn't risk it with a tragic lovestory. Maybe they were never that appalled of Ted and Rebecca getting together (or maybe they were) but in the end they just wanted Ted to be Mary Poppins.
Well guess what: Mary Poppins doesn't have panic attacks, mental health problems and self loving issues about being "too much"!
I'm just so mad that during these three years they never thought "maybe we should go another way", "maybe the story developed differently than we thought", "maybe there is more chemistry between our leads than expected - let's explore that a little more".
And even if you want to choose to ignore all of that for the sake of a plot you thought about 10 years ago, then it should at least be executed so that the audience is completely on board. You can't just silence Ted in the last episode and call it "him being at peace". We never got the chance to see him struggle with that decision which makes everything in 3x12 so odd.
#ffs I didn't want to write so much but damn#I still love this show but there are a lot of clusterfuck situations#that don't make sense!#just me rambling#you don't have to agree on that#LEAVE ME ALONE IF YOU ARE AN ANTI! FUCK OFF!#this is my blog and my safe space I can write whatever I want#still salty af#ted lasso#tedbecca#ted x rebecca#rebecca x ted
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I absolutely adore your thoughts on Buggy and Sea Shanties. So I'd like to share an inspiration and a thought, Tale of the Shadow by Sail North.
What if that's the treasure Buggy seaked when he was younger and just as the lyrics he found it but the crew he put together was not loyal like his cannon lot so they where killed but the Shadow took a liking to Buggy after he survived. I'm imagining him flirting with the ship helped in that regard. Buggy captain of the Shadow.
Okay but that would he SUCH a good take. ((I love Sail North honestly you are fueling my obsession yesss)).
Consider maybe instead of Buggy actively SEARCHING for it, he stumbled across it. And the Shadow being less of a Prize To Be Sought and more of a grim omen, a harbinger of sea stories, among the many Buggy knows by heart.
His first crew, the ones cobbled together so soon after his first abandoned him - I'm honestly thinking they were sort of thrown together and Buggy took charge as he tends to do. And the rest fall in line at a surface level but only insofar as completing their goals. Buggy knows, he can see it, but really the only people he's ever had in his life who took him and his wants semi-seriously are dead or dead-to-him at that point. He doesn't care. It's a means to an end, he tells himself. He's using them as much as they're using him - no, he's using them more! In the flashiest of ways!!
And then they happen across a fog. And Buggy can Feel something out there that's Looking and Searching and Calling. He is absolutely not about that, no sir. He gives the orders to sail westward, navigating by the stars and not the log pose which is wobbling steadily to that Other Presence. The crew, if they can even be called that, are not happy with the order.
Buggy by this point is young still, maybe sixteen thereabouts at most, and he is the youngest on the ship. And the smallest. And seems the weakest.
He is not, the group learns terrifyingly quickly. He is thin, fast, skilled with a blade and smarter than he pretends to be. He's got experience under his belt and on his side against opponents bigger, stronger, better than him - and he's used to being outnumbered too.
The fight takes time and Buggy soon gets hit with a lucky shot, sending him sprawling to the deck and nearly crushed beneath ratty boots and cruel laughter. He is panting against the wood, straining to get up, to move, to fight or flee-
And he freezes.
The Presence is back and it's stronger than ever, right on top of them. It's only his resistance to Conquerors Haki which keeps him from so much as fluttering an eyelid under the sudden pressure choking the men and women alike on his ship.
Not many have the nerve to approach my hull with so little awareness.
Buggy goes still at the soft voice while the other's scatter, scramble, search for the interloper. They shout demands for the person to show themselves. Buggy merely pushes himself up enough to bow properly. That is no person, he knows, not in the way these bozos think.
There's a sudden whirl of air, rigging springing into motion, ropes and sails unwinding to snatch bodies and cut voices into choked gargling frenzies.
Buggy does not move. His head aches, his body sore, but his mind is racing over contingency after contingency. He needs to think, needs to figure out a way to survive this unholy clusterfuck of a situation-
He freezes as he catches a black intangible hem from his periphery.
A hand touches his head, soft despite the carnage swaying above by their will.
So small you are, little star, and yet so brightly you shine in the gloom...
A hand takes his chin, tilts his head up. Buggy squeezes his eyes shut.
Look upon me, star child.
"N-No," he declares decisively, though not impolitely. "It is disrespectful for mortals to meet the gaze of Spirits."
Ohhh, how bright you are, little star. What say the waves to my hull, what say the winds to my sails, that by which you are known?
He thinks for a moment, carefully, then answers. "I am called Buggy."
Oh, my sweet, my darling, how interesting you are, how clever, how wise for your sweet short years. By what means have the Fates forged a mind and soul like this? Such a gift to my heart, so intriguing.
"... what..." He licks his lips. "What say the sea, the winds, to that which you are called?"
... I am called many things, my junebug. But now? This Era knows me as The Shadow... but you knew that, didn't you?
"..."
Hm~ Yes. You will do nicely.
"What- aAA-!!"
Shhh, sleep, my sweet, let my love fill your pores and lungs. Dream sweetly under my spells and carry the blackened blessing of my Self with you into the Beginning and End. You, sweet Buggy, are destined for great things. I will carry you there, so long as you carry me in turn...
Buggy screamed into the wooden planks as blackness swallowed his senses, burning and baptizing his cells. The only thing he was aware of was the soft hand in his hair, the whispered assurances like dripping ink, and the pain.
Buggy was swallowed whole on a ship in the fog, cradled by a faceless being and guarded by corpses.
He awakens some time later on his ship, battered and damaged, dirty but warm under the warm, blazing sun. The rigging is damaged, the bodies gone. Buggy is alone, but, he finds sometime later, not unscathed. Staring back from the backs of his hands are two inky stylized emblems. The eyes stare into the air and space, offset by his skin.
He shudders.
He takes to wearing gloves.
He doesn't notice until weeks later that sometimes his shadow will smile at him, warm, loving, intelligent.
He learns more in the ensuing time, but not a word of it is ever breathed to another person.
One does not speak of deals with the fae, after all.
#buggy the clown#thank you for the ask ilysm#i maaaay have gotten too into it whoopsies~#buggy baby beloved#one piece#shaking the bars of my cage#i love he#witchy answers!!#my bean#buggy d clown#pirates pirates pirates#sea shanties
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There's been a lot of discourse and blame about the clusterfuck with Teeth of God tour presale, people not getting codes, dynamic pricing and the uncertainty around what will happen with 3rd party resale. But tickets selling out almost entirely within a day of the general on-sale (except Laval, SMH, get it together Quebec!) I feel like we need to assign some of the blame to either Spinefarm or whoever the US booking agent is.
It pains me to admit it because I am so excited to see them at an incredible venue like Massey Hall and I respect them wanting to play smaller, more intimate venues, but they really have no business still playing theatres. They're too big for those. They need to be playing arenas at this point. I'm most familiar with the Toronto market so that'll be my example but there were 17k people ahead of me in the presale queue, and I heard it went as high as 27 or 30k. We've got an outdoor amphitheatre venue here that seats 16k people and an NHL/NBA arena that seats just under 20k. One night at either of those is 3-4 times the number of people who will be able to see them at the two shows they have here.
I am still in disbelief that I did get tickets for Massey but for the love of Sleep they need to be in larger venues.
Anyway I spent too long last night reading comments on the band's Instagram post about the tour selling out and cancelling bot purchases. I also work in event ticketing and have been going to shows/buying tickets since 1998 so lmk if you want to hear my full rant on the whole ticketing fiasco, what I currently understand to be the situation with resale, what people are getting wrong and right, and how to protect yourself from resale scams.
#sleep token#teeth of god tour#i maintain my only saving grace in getting tickets is Massey handling their own ticketing#im also baffled that laval isnt sold out#its just singles and nosebleeds yet but still#they also havent turned on resale which... i gotta sell mine lol
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It's time for me to unleash the inner crazy Metal Sonic lover within myself and talk so so much about this mother fucking fucker Chaos Sonic!!! (image taken off a post by @/littleaipom)
Ok so what I love so much about Sonic Prime is how much mileage it's getting out of the multiverse concept. It's a good multiverse cause it's surprisingly simple compared to the sort of MCU clusterfuck we associate the term with now. It's just Sonic AUS! And I really love that cause to me if anything screams Sonic media, it's AUs and canon divergence and wacky takes. I think this series is great at that, internally and with inspiring that in fans.
What also makes it so great in Sonic Prime is that it has so much confidence in that. In the entire show the only normal characters are Sonic and Shadow, everyone else Sonic makes a connection with is a whole new spin on the old cast and its GREAT. I love Nine to death especially, he's definitely one of the best shatterverse characters.
But I think I have a definitive new favorite character now in Chaos Sonic, because he is that fresh new confident take on an old character but with such an underutilized one in Metal Sonic. I adore Metal Sonic, he's my favorite Sonic character and in my opinion the absolute most slept on. Sonic's robot doppelganger should absolutely have as much love as Shadow - his more serious and hardened antihero rival - and Knuckles - the stubborn immovable object to Sonic's steadfast unstoppable force. But he doesn't!! And it's tragic!! There is so much to do with Metal, with the Sonic created by the man who hates him more than anything, one of his first true rivals who was made to be his perfect antithesis, yet we get so little.
But atleast in Chaos Sonic we get an awesome fucking take on him!! It's not Metal, but like I said about Sonic Prime as a whole, I LOVE how this show plays with the characters.
I see a lot of people pitting Chaos and Metal Sonic against each other or putting down one when talking about the other, but they're really just amazingly complimentary takes on the same character. The way it would be weird as hell to say either Nine or Tails is the better version of the character or something.
Chaos Sonic's personality is of course what stands out the most between him and Metal Sonic, and while for some people it makes him unbearable or insulting to the OG Metal, it's one of the things I love most about him too. It's the complete opposite of what Metal and most robo-doppelgangers in the series, and especially Metal, are known for. Metal Sonic is all of Sonic's deadliness but none of his heart - he is a Sonic stripped of everything that makes him that energetic blue hero and reduced only to his power, speed, and obedience. He's a very cold a serious take on the robo-doppelganger that encapsulates the theme of classic Eggman, which was to do what nature did but better and deadlier. He's a very dehumanizing take on what Sonic is to his enemy, a potential tool like the rest of the animals and natural resources he abuses.
Chaos Sonic is less like the (classic) Sonic Eggman wishes he had, but what (modern) Sonic is to him - this annoying, vain chatterbox who still manages to trounce you no matter how little he takes the situation seriously. Metal Sonic feel like a cold and calculated project driven by nothing but Eggman's frustration that something free and alive that he should have control over him still eludes him, and Chaos Sonic like just a project of pure spiteful mockery. Which I think very well represents how the relationship between Sonic and Eggman has changed to pit them more often as equals with their back and forths. And I really love how well both of them use this assignment to bring out these different aspects of Eggman and Sonic's relationship.
I think Chaos Sonic also specifically speaks to the New Yoke universe very well more than just being Sonic but more annoying. He is absolutely annoying and talkative just to mock Sonic, but stuff like his comments about Sonic being "smelly" and how he wants to be a brand star bring to mind really fun ideas about how he's like a commercialized version of Sonic too. I would love if he was integrated into New Yoke and you could see the Egg Council using him as a brand and he just loves it because he's an equally capitalistic jerk. It's a fun twist on Sonic's ego next to the more obvious one, that if Sonic didn't have his convictions he would very easily fall in line with the vanity of Eggman's worldview.
Those are the moments that kind of make me wish that normal Metal Sonic had more speaking roles where him being an anti-Sonic in ideology could show. We atleast have the funny projection of him torturing animals from Sonic CD. I do still think that through Metal's sole commitment to beating Sonic and proving himself superior he does an equally good job at being that ideological opponent though, just in a quieter way befitting his era. Chaos Sonic represents Sonic's vanity in a personality sense with his want to be in the spotlight, and Metal Sonic in purely mechanical sense - just wanting to prove nothing but the fact he is better. And that single-mindedness makes him a great foil to Sonic who is a very wild and free-spirited person and never lets his ego and need to be the best define him more than his loyalty to those ideals. Meanwhile Metal Sonic entirely defines himself by his abilities and need to be a specific identity created by others. Something that makes him really damn tragic in a way I wish for the life of me was explore more.
Chaos Sonic doesn't HAVE to be an existential tragic mess... but I mean if they're gonna bring him back, he should have moments of that on top of just being awesome to watch fight and emote. OH MAN I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN INTO HOW EXPRESSIVE HE IS.
Once again, something totally different from Metal Sonic that only improves both characters in my eyes. I can't get enough of either of them! Whether it's Metal Sonic's intimidating silence or Chaos Sonic's "teehee giggle ^_^" attitude towards violence, I think both have some great chilling moments to them. Chaos Sonic's voice too is so good, it's probably my favorite voice performance in the show. It just has so much energy, and makes every line sound so genuine no matter how stupid. But at the same time he has good range too! When his voice gets low and serious or angry it's effective (atleast to me)! I mean that guy managed to make "You're too slow!" sound playfully venomous, I love it.
With Metal Sonic it's maybe a bit harder to pin down what makes his stoicism work so well. Every character in the classic era was silent to a degree, so it's hard to say his silence stands out. But that's actually I think where I'd say his lack of expressiveness is genius. He manages to mimic the look of Sonic in body and face so much more naturally than any of the other doppelgangers but still in this sleek and blank way that is just amazing. Like I stare in awe at the design of this beast. Classic Sonic is very good at providing character through expressive animation and sprites, and Metal Sonic's lack of any yet ability to still feel like he has the face of a character and not just some robot makes him intimidating.
Which brings me to their overall designs. Metal Sonic is such an enduring Sonic character despite the long list of robo-Sonics because as I was saying before, the design is just too good. It is beyond aesthetically pleasing, straight up gorgeous - which makes him so effective. He truly does feel like Sonic's equal and possibly even superior in mechanics and LOOK, he makes his mechanical and flesh peers look clunky and outdated by comparison. Sonic but polished to an unnaturally perfect finish, with those dead glowing red eyes that house none of his soul. Genius fucking design.
I woefully cannot say that I think Chaos Sonic is an equal in that, but it might be physically impossible to make a better Metal Sonic, and he does come damn close! Specifically because he does take the cue of the more natural eyes (every other sonic-robo has some sort of distinctly robotic visor), but still does something new and catching with it in the bike helmet-like screen. It takes everything perfect about that aspect of Metal and builds on it for this version of him, the dark void of blank pixels is replaced with a very beautiful yet icy blue that contrasts the red eyes very well. I've seen many fan designs that use those red eyes for expression, but it is best a choice here than on the original Metal for the reasons I said above. It's so clear how much fun the animators are having with using them to emote without making it feel too natural by giving him a mouth or something. I also really like his chest rocket, it feels a lot more streamlined than Metal's, which helps with how energetic and mobile he is. Metal screams sleekness and speed, but in a very artificial way with how much his rocket takes up his design.
Like I said, there's no beating Metal due to the sheer simple brilliance of his design that is totally a product of such a complex concept being perfected in the classic era. In general Sonic Prime tends to make designs a bit more complicated than what would pass as the peak of series design, but they still own in their own right. Chaos Sonic is a great example of this where he is noticeably more busy of a design than Metal but with very clear shapes and colors that make him fit in with the overall series style.
All this praising and blabbering to say. Metal Sonic is the most important thing to me, and Chaos Sonic is also the most important thing to me cause he and Metal just complement each other so fucking good. That's really what a good alternate take on a character should do! Feel fresh but still very flattering to the blueprint, explore different directions the original character could've taken to make you appreciate the execution of those aspects even more.
Chaos Sonic is the best example of the show next to Nine. When I think deeper about it some of the other shatterverse versions don't go AS HARD with this, but they all feel like fun takes that do feel like they came from aspects of the original characters. Plus, that's why Nine is the hook, he is a very well developed "what if" for Tails that explores how much of a difference a friendship can make in someone's life. I also just in general really enjoy it when a story says, "Yeah, sometimes people react to issues by being antisocial as easily as they react by being docile when they don't have the space to be sensitive". It's not like... handled explicitly with that much nuance, but the nuance is there in my heart.
Also damn, speaking of Nine I didn't even bring up how cool "Eggman (kinda) tricks Tails into making a Metal Sonic using his knowledge of the real Sonic" is. It's epic, and I actually really hope it's more explored, as well as Chaos Sonic in general. I feel like the writers, animators, and VA had way too much fun with him not to bring him back. I would love nothing more as a poor starving Metal Sonic stan-peasant...
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#chaos sonic#sonic prime#sonic prime spoilers#shut the heck up#i love him a normal amount i say foaming at the mouth#this is all over the mf place and i could totally shorten it into a better more focused essay but just aaaa#i need to get this out rn i love him sosososososoosososos much#you all need to understand how underrated metal is and how chaos sonic speaks so much to what we're MISSING#even if he is the opposite of metal in so many ways ge is just such a good fresh take ON him#and i lvoe that sosososo much i want more of both of them#and i want there different functions to be clear too cause id be heartbroken if one replaced the other#tag talking#also i wrote thsi while bouncing on my new exercise ball chair :3
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I love Bangel, but it was so hypocrital of Angel to be salty about Buffy and Spike being on the same side when he protected Faith after she tried to ruin Buffy's life (again)
Eh... as much as I want to smack some sense into Sanctuary Angel, I can also see how he was taken off guard by both situations. Angel really didn't care about or even like Faith at all on BTVS. He only tried to help her for Buffy's sake. Because Buffy cared so much. Because Buffy had so much compassion even for people who didn't deserve it-- like him. So when Faith showed up in LA while Angel was still new to being the hero of course he tried to model his response after Buffy-- only for it to backfire so quickly and so severely that you've gotta wonder if vampires can get whiplash. He reacted to the situation extremely poorly and it was deeply unfair to Buffy but from his perspective... I get it, even if I don't like it.
Meanwhile, Angel had so little context for the clusterfuck of a relationship/friendship/parasitic co-dependent ambivalent mess going on between Buffy and Spike in S7 I'm surprised he didn't make a bigger deal out of it. Also, his jealousy was funny instead of hurtful so I find his grumbling much more forgivable.
Also Buffy being allowed to finally, finally, finally get really, genuinely pissed off at someone would have been a lot more satisfying if we got to see it on her own show and the narrative didn't inexplicably tell us she was wrong and we should feel sorry for Faith.
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Oh yeah, some more thoughts about LOK
So I'm currently 2 episodes into season 3. It's wild as hell that they made the whole Ten Thousand Years Spirit Battle a... season 2 thing?? Like sure OK it directly leads into the current situations, but you'd think something that Big And Epic would be like. The Final thing??? Anyways, I didn't care for the designs of the spirits, they were boring and unintimidating. The evil spirit breaking free and he's just a fucking slip of black and red paper?? Am I supposed to be scared of this???? Then the fucking titan fight in the harbor... gaudy as hell. It was unexciting and tacky. I liked learning about the ancient history of the avatar, but I didn't care for the ending of the season. It was just kind of boring.
Season 2 is looking more interesting though, if for nothing more than the antagonists they're introducing. No idea who they are yet, but they're cool af when they fight, and that waterbender who has no arms & uses water as an extension of herself instead??? That was cool as FUCK. I hate that she's an antagonist bc I'd love to see so much more of that. Everyone keeps talking about how bad these people are, but idk man they're really cool and I'm enjoying watching them, so maybe we can just hear them out for a moment maybe 🥺
Kind of sad that LOK is doing such separate narratives per season. Like from what I know, they weren't sure if they were gonna be renewed between seasons (aka why season 1 was the clusterfuck that it was) so I don't truly blame the creators. They were being jerked around by Nickelodeon a lot. But I still miss the cohesiveness of atla. Each season kinda had its own main antagonists, Zhao being traded off for Azula in season 2, but the big baddie was Always gonna be the firelord. And the entire narrative about Zuko spanning all three seasons, like. I miss that!!!! That kind of well thought out character development, where every season he's growing and changing and developing into the person we see in the end. It's one of my favorite things about alta!!!
In the end, LOK just feels so... idk, lackluster in comparison to atla. I'm still primarily enjoying it, since it's got some good characters & the humor has been entertaining. Just. As a whole... it definitely isn't as good as atla.
Oh well. Different shows & all. I'm still gonna see this one to the end.
#speculation nation#fanny watches lok#i gotta say tho im so glad to be done with the love triangle bullshit#and seeing korra and asami bonding. knowing where it's gonna lead. it feels so special to me 🥺#also mako being scared of both of them is so funny hfkshfjd like yes u Should be intimidated by them#u had two beautiful girls to choose from and u blew it with both of them. tough lucky buddy lmfao
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To the anon about the M.G. factor in TC:
That’s... unfairly reductive. Most people that I’ve seen, myself included as indicated previously, are repulsed by him. Most people are simply supporting their favorite other actor(s) and/or a franchise they love, along with considering the literally hundreds of talented, wonderful cast and crew that worked hard on a project that happens to unfortunately include a horrible person.
When AK was fired from SGCW, and he still received his EP credits and money (including a massive pay off) -- does that mean every single viewer who continued to watch “supported” a sexual predator? Not at all. It does not. People obviously just supported the WOMEN/POC/LGBTQs involved that they enjoyed, related to, and/or were at times inspired by.
IMO, this M.G. thing isn’t like people doing or purchasing Potter content and putting shit tons more money and power into someone like JKR’s hands to do further vast and widespread harm. M.G. is just one awful man in a supporting role in an ensemble project from a popular franchise. Now, if he was THE lead, it would probably be a different story for many people, similar to how lots of people are conflicted on the upcoming superhero movie with a lead currently under numerous accusations of harm. Some people want to support the WOC in an iconic role, and they want to support the talented cast and crew, etc so it’s... complicated. And at the end of the day that buck stops with the active, direct enablers -- not costars nor fans now put in a shitty position of having to make hard choices and be judged either way.
Look, most people I’ve seen are planning to watch the show in question DESPITE that man, and trying desperately to ignore him (after expressing obvious disgust that he’s involved), and hope this never happens again in the things they look forward to watching (or participating in).
In a dream world, people like that would simply never be employed in this industry again, as there are so many better options. Alas, it is the sad reality of the industry and our planet in general that this happens, and all anybody can do is hope karma sorts that person out, and decide individually whether you can stomach watching or participating in something they are or were involved in. Some people can, and some people can’t. And each situation is very different. I personally have turned down an opportunity where it would further empower a very harmful person who created the original piece of material. I’ve also gotten into a clusterfuck behind the scenes for merely subtweeting about an abuser and their enabler, and was seen as more of a problem for calling it out than the actual abuser and enabler, lol. THAT is the industry we’re dealing with.
Either way, the concept of ‘guilt by association’ even though costars didn’t hire that person and most fans didn’t want him in it — is incredibly unfair. And realistically speaking, if that rule has to be applied across the board that to watch something with a problematic person in any way involved is to intentionally support them directly -- every person who watches ANYTHING would be guilty... and there would literally be nothing left to watch. 😩
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❤️💔🐷😖🤓🍝 + vincent (bc i miss him and want to hear of him), reid and a bonus oc of your choice that you would like to answer these for!! :3
oc asks!
❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?
hanan is daring, gentle and kind. kind of simple positive traits maybe but considering she works as arasaka security and is tasked with keeping test subjects of one of its secret projects under control it's very special traits to have i think
she's not easily scared which is a good thing to have in that line of work, but it also means that she's not scared to sometimes break or bend the rules juuuust a little bit if it means one of the test subjects can be a little bit more comfortable, just a little bit less in pain. she's very strong and can wrestle anything and anyone to the ground but those same hands will tend to wounds SO carefully. and she's been trained to be cold and uncaring and even though she knows that most of the test subjects will end up dead anyway, she is still kind to them and tries to be a friend to them, because the words she says to them before they go back into testing might just be the last words they'll ever hear
💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?
hanan is erratic, indecisive and resentful. she will often want to do whatever feels right in the moment, leading to her being very unpredictable which can make her difficult to work with and this is especially a problem within her division, where everyone is mostly in it for themselves and her doing her own thing is very much not beneficial for anyone else
at the same time, all of THAT leads to her indecisiveness because it makes her wonder if she needs to take on a different approach. at some point, circumstances lead to her following others' lead a lot more, which gets disrupted when she starts seeing things happening she doesn't agree with and it makes her hesitant to follow the orders she's been given. kind of an intricate clusterfuck where different traits and circumstances are causing her to get worse which is not what you wanna see
the resentfulness mostly manifests itself in her ability to just hold lifelong grudges. it's very difficult to get back on her good side once she feels like you wronged her in a way; but at the same time it's very difficult to get to that point in the first place, so once you've crossed that line you must've fucked up BADLY to get there
🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?
hanan loves bears! they're strong. they look cute. very huggable. she's very upset about the fact that you shouldn't actually hug a bear she wants to do that so bad
😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?
hanan is an ambivert! loves to be around other people and prefers it so much over being alone but also gets very easily overwhelmed when it's too many people or the wrong people. not that she would ever let this show because she can't afford to do that in her line of work
🤓 SMILING FACE WITH GLASSES — is your oc chatty or quiet? are they at ease in social situations, or are they more shy?
hanan likes to talk but is more often quiet than anything else because of her position in arasaka. once she's in private she will just keep talking though, doesn't talk very fast so it's less of rambling / infodumping it's more like. idk she kinda has a storyteller vibe to her when it comes to talking? if that makes sense? very pleasant voice to listen to and she can make any dull situation sound like the most fantastic thing to have happened all month
🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?
she loves any dish with rice, mainly nasi and risotto! also likes potatoes a lot, mashed potatoes and fries specifically, but she will eat them in any way honestly. generally doesn't eat a lot of meat but she won't say no to a good hamburger
❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?
reid is charming, determined and surprisingly thoughtful, once you get on his good side and he's taken a liking to you! he's a very good talker so he's very good at making people feel at ease in a conversation. hardworking and doesn't back down easily so if he has a job to do, he'll make sure that he finishes it (which is part of why he ended up kind of losing himself at maxtac a bit, too lost in the "wanting to be good" sauce). and once he's in his "no longer evil i wanna be loved now" era he really just wants what's best for his friends and he'll make an effort to make that reality. he's very insightful and can easily act on people's needs without words and he often uses this to surprise people with things (mostly in secret; he will simply do a task that someone's been putting off or he buys someone a gift and leaves it on their desk, he doesn't need credit for any of it)
💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?
reid is arrogant, impatient, jealous and manipulative as FUCK. mentioning four of them because his arrogance settles down VERY quickly once he's no longer in a powerful position. getting locked up for a year in some safehouse is very humbling LMAO the arrogance leaves his body with the confidence that his position of power gave him basically <3
still very impatient though but he doesn't get snappy because of it, he's just imploding one billion times until the thing is over and then he can be normal again. the jealousy is also still a bit of an issue, he gets jealous VERY quickly and he KNOWS it's a problem so he tries dealing with it as best as he can. can you imagine that jealousy is what caused him to try and hunt cassidy down in the first place. boy if you'd just been a better boyfriend to him then none of that had to happen in the first place
his manipulative side is also no longer active for the most part, right now he just uses it to get more money out of aubrey's rich corpo cunt clients or he uses it while doing gigs but he's not actively manipulating his friends or anything. he used to do that all the time though, especially back at maxtac he really just wanted more power and he was willing to do anything to get it
🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?
reid's favorite animal is a spider! he LOVES spiders. he's obsessed with them. fascinated even. whenever he finds a spider at home he will just sit there and look at it. he can SO easily identify different kinds of spiders
😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?
reid is an ambivert though he Thought he was an extrovert for the longest time which is why he never really realized it when certain situations were draining his battery :( it mainly depends on the company and the location + external factors like how busy it is and how much noise there is and how much sleep he got last night, and nowadays he automatically tends to be a little bit more reserved than he used to be because he doesn't want people to get the wrong impression of him by taking over the conversation too much
🤓 SMILING FACE WITH GLASSES — is your oc chatty or quiet? are they at ease in social situations, or are they more shy?
kind of similar to previous answer, he's pretty reserved in conversations nowadays but always knows JUST what to say or ask next to keep it going and to like, not make it awkward basically :) he's usually very comfortable in social situations he just doesn't want to be Too Much and also if the situation itself is Too Much then he automatically retreats a little bit. he's a tired little man nowadays he needs to save up his energy he's getting old
🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?
reid will basically eat anything when he's going through a depressive/dissociative episode and it will be THE fucking best thing he's eaten all week. could be a tin of sardines. could be a slice of dry bread with some butter. could be plain microwaved rice
when he's NOT in hell however he loves pasta a lot! big fan of curry too, loves chicken roti, loves pilav, loves to make wraps with some chicken and veggies. he's not a very big eater but if you give him fried chicken you'll have to take it away from him at some point because he will just not stop eating until it's gone
❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?
vincent is affectionate, passionate and reliable! he loves his friends so much and he's always making sure that they know it :) he's very passionate about the things he does and the things he likes and he always brings the best energy with him wherever he goes which makes him very easy to like!
his reliability is funny because he IS very reliable it's just that. he may fuck it up first. a few times sometimes. he will NOT stick to the plan. if there's even a plan to begin with. but you'll have his word that in the end he will get shit done and he will fix any mess that he might've made along the way and that's very important to me. he's doing the best he can and he won't stop until everything is sorted out but he is messy along the way but humans are just messy in general and it's fine. he's doing just fine
💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?
vincent is disruptive, jealous and a little bit touchy. the disruptiveness ties in with him being messy; it Mostly applies to combat situations where things always end up a lot bigger than necessary because of him but also in regular situations sometimes where he's being very excited but is accidentally too loud / too present etc etc
the jealousy is a direct result of him being the youngest of. five. yes. i keep forgetting how many siblings he has but yes he's got four older siblings and he had to fight for his LIFE to get some sort of attention at home. in his eyes his siblings always had cooler stuff than him (which was definitely true to a degree) and it's made him very possessive of everything he has nowadays and he easily slides back into the "i want that too" mindset from when he was younger
that's also where the touchy attitude comes in play. he gets defensive very quickly and is prone to take things personally a lot even when that's not even close to what people meant :( he ends up being able to deal with it better over time because of the dynamics at home with vitali and mikhail being a lot better than back with his family so that's very nice
🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?
vincent loves so many animals but his favorite would be a cat :) that's why he's got three cats at home at this point LMAO nibbles (his own cat), sapphire (vitali's cat) and buttons (mikhail's cat) :D
😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?
vincent is definitely more of an extrovert but for a while after recovering from first johnny being stuck in his head and then from getting rid of soulkiller's influence (the thing that only gave him six months left to live etc etc) every social interaction basically kills him dead on the floor and it takes him a WHILE to fight that off
🤓 SMILING FACE WITH GLASSES — is your oc chatty or quiet? are they at ease in social situations, or are they more shy?
vincent is pretty chatty! he always has things to talk about but he needs to feel comfortable with someone first and once that happens he is never going to shut up ever again basically
🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?
he LOVES burritos (thank you red). he could eat those for breakfast And lunch And dinner and he'd be lying if he said he's never done that before. big fan of stews as well, loves korean bbq, OBSESSED with shoarma. won't say no to a good pizza either. he will basically eat anything though, and he also eats nearly everything with hot sauce
#asks#mutuals#aartyom#ask:hanan#ask:reid#ask:vincent#oc asks#THANK YOU SO MUCH RENA <333 you are so right by the way i also miss vincent :( world's sweetest little man#first hanan mention on my blog also tee hee >:^) i Will be talking more about her soon. kaida as well. the two newest additions#apologies for the reverse blorbo order also ESHJGFDKG i Have to do it in alphabetical order or my brain is going to kill me with hammers
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“chandler cheats on monica with joey and it maybe tears the friend group apart” sounds like either an intentionally absurd fanfic premise or a homophobic joke that would be made by the actual show but no. its just my Fucking life.
anyway. mon, joey, im sorry to both of you. the situation i put you in wasn’t fair and it was my fault everything blew up the way it did. mon, i shouldn’t have kept secrets from you and used you as a shield from my own sexuality, and joe, i shouldn’t have made you “the other woman,” so to speak.
ross, i know i hurt your sister and i understand if you still wanna kill me for it.
rachel, pheebs… thanks, i guess, for sticking by monica. i’m really glad she had you to lean on. it was my fault she needed to lean on you in the first place, but. i don’t know. i did care a lot about her even if i couldn’t love her like that and i’m glad she wasn’t left totally alone, i guess.
i’m just really sorry to everyone, monica and joey especially. i’m sorry for the whole clusterfuck of pain i caused and i’m sorry i couldn’t be more of a man. i hope you’re all okay and doing well now.
- chandler bing (friends fictive)
#🍒🧺
box
#fictionkinfessions#🍒🧺#fictive#chandlerbingfictive#friendsfictive#friendsseriesfictive#apology#infidelity cw#misogyny cw#?#homophobia cw#mod party cat
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11, 20, 32?
11. Do you have a favorite plural character or headcanon?
i think ctommy csam and cranboo are “people in my head won’t shut up” solidarity
20. What are everyone's favorite hobbies?
a large group of the guardians write and create hcs/aus together. a few old fronters are still really dedicated to learning dance which has started to bleed through to the rest of us. charlie watches a lot of chuckle sammy and talks through situations we need to address with the rest of us. the final eye group loves hiking and outdoors exploration, and the chance-dre-dimitri-aternos clusterfuck hang out in front together and get into discourse or roast fandom takes together + play sports
32. How has your system changed over time?
well! we used to think we were a small system with constantly rotating fronters. it turns out that we’re polyfrag and have a lot of old fronters/introjects that faded from front due to wear and tear or disappearing front triggers. i’m pretty sure we became polyfrag around 4 years or so ago because what we have recorded shows the core and host at the time only knew about around 18-20 people being around
#the clusterfuck is like if you threw a bunch of frat bros into one frat house and made them all transgender#gay and slutty#and i mean this incredibly affectionately#answering asks#system ask game
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it honestly truly baffles me how people completely disregard the devotion sirius showed to james. like it was honest to god devotion. i fully belive if james asked sirius to give his life he would do it in a fucking heartbeat for him. and this is all canon! the biggest petpeeve is when people sideline the importance of james in sirius's life and he's this happy go lucky dude like nope. bruh it's right there him saying he ran to james and the potters after everything happened. they were both each other's everything you have to understand that.and it's fine by so many of the wolfstar , Jily and jegulus authors it's honestly insane. like do you think lily had a chance with james if she was ever rude to sirius. and jegulus as well like please if you think james will ever side against sirus. he took sirius's side in the whomping willow prank for god's sake!!!! and like why are so many remus characterizations just james characteristic passed over to remus. like one of the fics was sirus ran to the lupins after running away from home and please that's a quintessential james and sirius scene don't convert it to wolfstar. there's a reason why sirius went mad after James and Lily's death cause he realised what happened and he how he helped in their dismise by trusting the wrong people. IT'S LITERALLY CANON THAT JAMES WAS THE ONLY ONE EVER WHO COULD REIGN IN SIRIUS WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT.
also don't even get me started on molly Weasley's he's not james. ma'am we know and sirius sure as fuck knows cause i can bet whenever he closes his eyes he sees james dead behind his eyes
and like sirius was saying he's not a child!!! how did she infer that he was doing antics he would have done with james when he said this statement
we, as readers know that Harry's not a child anymore he legit saw a classmate(crush, rip bi!harry) die infront of his eyes. i don't agree with a lot of statements given by the terf but gof was the first blood and the loss of innocence and it was back to the grim reality and harry is right in the middle of it he is not a child babes, he can't be and you mollycoddling him doesn't help. and if he had known things since the beginning his 5th year wouldn't have been such a clusterfuck of tragedies.
sorry for the rant, would be belive if i said i had a few more ready to go waiting for the right moment. i love them so much your honour
okay no ash absolutely no apologies allowed in my inbox 🔪🔪 please feel free to rant anytime and about anything, i am absolutely fkn blessed right now. i cannot tell u how much i enjoyed reading this!!!
it is devotion! and james did ask him the next best thing to that—sirius volunteered to be the bait in a situation he didn’t need to be in 😭😭 no one would’ve suspected wormtail anyway, but he still added another layer of confusion by putting his entire life at risk. that’s so. fuck. i can’t even imagine.
no but i was literally talking about this with someone today??? if ur in the mood to be super emotional, lemme recap it. sirius probably built his self esteem & moral compass around james (because of his upbringing + unlearning, he has a very fragile self image ) and his affirmations probably go something like ‘jamie thinks i’m worth it, jamie believes in me, jamie loves me, he thinks i can do this’ and that’s also why he tries so fkn hard to be the best godfather he can—because he never ever wants to disappoint james (he did once, during the prank, and it still haunts him the way james looked at him—a ‘i thought u were better than this’ expression on his face). like he doesn’t trust himself but his belief in james is unshakeable. also whatever u do, dont think about sirius trying to say these, over and over again to himself, in azkaban and failing because james isn’t here and it’s his fault and he can’t even do one thing right
and oh man, i was literally thinking about that lily thing today, there’s a line in shovel talk that’s basically lily saying she’s going on the date with james and sirius can’t do anything about it and he just looks at her in pity. because you know if he’d ever made his distaste known, james would’ve dropped the whole thing so fast.
yes yes yes!! james could rein sirius in but more importantly, sirius was the only one who could do the same for james. the boy’s head was too big for anyone but S to handle because he was a precious mix of arrogance and sensitivity (thanks effie & flea) and needed to be told things a certain way so he didn’t internalise them and form a complex and only sirius could do it perfectly.
i’m not even gonna touch molly weasley because she annoys me sm and i’ve ranted enough lol (there’s a reason why i have so many ootp era fics 💀)
#sirius black#james potter#harry potter#ash ur so valid for saying this#i hate that they treated harry like a child because it felt so fake#they don’t actually care about helping him—just wanna feel better about themselves#so much of that fuckfest could’ve been avoided if he’d just been included in proper communication and believed he had someone to talk to#also god yes the loss of innocence part is so real#i feel like the basilisk and the third task are so crucial to harry’s development#they’re some of my favorite scenes tbh#because it just really hits home how fkn ridiculous this kid’s life is#honestly i can keep screaming about how j&s are done so dirty all day long#because they didn’t have the greatest friendship the world had ever seen to be sidelined like this!!!#(lol someone needs to come restrain me before i jump out of my seat)#pen’s asks
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There’s something about the comedic irony of characters meeting counterparts that share habits/characteristics and being so fucking annoyed by them that’s absolutely batshit hilarious. Eden dragging your twink ass back to the cabin and collaring you? Fuck it, fine, but next time you tranq Eden and drag him back to yours. You put him in a lil cow outfit and collar for the fun of it. You figure out quickly how many “milk” bottles you can get out of him per day - you make bank! What’s even more hilarious is if you’re the high tech type. Eden staring at the roomba in your room. Startled when you adjust the temp in the room just by voice command. Pissed when you force a cell phone on him when he’s locked up at your house, because “I piss off a lot of people on the regular, Eden, and if someone’s gonna set fire to my place I wanna know!”. While he bitches about the phone, though, whenever you’re out, you send messages and texts that get progressively affectionate and/or horny. Pavlov the fucker til he perks up when he hears the message ding. I can’t imagine you’re the paragon of mental health, but when you make food for Eden you chat to him about all the stuff you encounter on a regular basis, and he looks openly more and more uncomfortable. He points out town is shit and you should go back to the cabin. You say that after you get revenge on a few fuckers, you’d be happy to go play cottagecore life with him. Besides, you still have a lot to show him about the modern world. On a particularly eventful evening that ended in a heated scuffle that Eden almost won - probably wouldve if you didnt have the muscle relaxer syringe on you- you hook him up to a fucking machine and let it pound his ass. You know that when it’s his turn to turn on the crazy and drag you back to the cabin, your ass is probably gonna undergo something that’ll leave you limping for a week straight, but all’s fair in love and war. I’m not saying you’re a yandere but you are also in possession of a jealous streak a mile wide so lord help the bitch or bastard who shoots Eden too many glances out and about. And if he ever pisses you off you’ll book him a seat to Remy’s farms for a few days. He’ll probably choke you on the floor of his cabin when you get him out during one of Wren’s fires. You enjoy every second of it, especially how every bit of your body feels bruised after he’s done with you. I don’t think you’ve actively told him you love him or anything, so he’s bemused when you slide the marriage license over to him. Because he’s either signing it or you’re forging it, you just thought it’d be romantic this way. What a toxic clusterfuck of a situation, honestly. You haven’t felt this alive in ages.
Oh fuck PC practicing some shibari on Eden and taking photos of him all tied up. He's so mad when he wakes up, yelling at you that you'll get the spanking of a lifetime when he's free. And of course you will, you were counting on it.
Introducing him to the internet, showing him porn you want to copy with him or just simply movies while you cuddle in your warm bed. It's always warm here, you have central heating. He's an intelligent man, so he picks it up fairly easily. Just doesn't want to.
"The government uses it to spy on people-"
"I know, Eden, everyone knows!"
"And you're okay with that?!"
Maybe a schedule should be fixed up. Winter at your place, summer at Eden's cabin. Whoever wins fights in autumn and spring.
Eden hates being edged, but you do it anyways because it makes him cum buckets and its a treat to have either in you or collected for other purposes.
He shows you how to clean his gun so you can take care of it when he's the pet. Doesn't want anything getting rusty or jammed.
And he'll sign the damn marriage certificate, after some prodding. You're already married in his eyes. Stupid laws and stupid legislation telling him what to do.
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Imagine Mildolyn, "Illicit Affair", Modern AU. Where Gwen's campaigning for Congress and all the meet and greets, showing up for charities for publicity, her 'cause'. At one for special needs children and their foundation she meets a very young CNA named Mildred and sort of falls head over heels in the dumbest of ways, both just love struck. Except she's campaigning to be in Congress, she's a politician, she cannot be queer and chasing after 19 year old ex-foster kids whos brothers are set to be the youngest executed on Death Row in California in decades for appalling crimes. But there she is, in hotel rooms her supporters pay for, with someone she shouldn't be with, trying to find ways to overturn cases that turned stomachs with their brutality, because a pretty girl smiled at her and called her 'ma'am' while showing her around the foundation/care home she worked at with children no one else had the time/patience to care for. Of course it goes terribly with 'dirty little secret' vibes, the breast cancer diagnosis announced on twitter before she tells Mildred in person, even if it's such a minor case ('so they say') and caught so early that it'll barely leave a scar, radiation won't be much of a deal at all. She doesn't get to tell Mildred that, she just gets to hear on Fox news about how the democrat's gonna die a horrible death and panic.
Mildred who has no patience for politicians and their fake concern, using patients as photo ops. It’s manipulative, it’s distracting to the staff, it’s awful, okay, she hates it. She is, in fact, a tad bit rude to Gwen when they meet. Gets her a death glare from Betsy Bucket, gets Gwen intrigued.
“Republican?” only half-joking.
“No.”
“Is it the suit? Should I have worn a different suit? I wanted to, but I’ve been told this one tested better.”
“The suit is fine.” It’s more than that, actually, but Mildred will not be saying that aloud, nope, uh-uh. “I don’t much care for politicians.”
“Ah, we have that in common then.”
“I doubt we have much of anything in common. Ma’am.”
And look, Gwen doesn’t usually go in for the chasing, the hard to get. She’s got enough trouble chasing votes. But this woman is so good with the kids on her ward, so patient. She’s got Disney scrubs on and as much as she’s got no time at all for Gwen, she seems to have infinite amounts for those kids. She stays with them individually, longer than any of the other staff Gwen sees, but she still manages to get a dozen things done in half as many minutes. And she’s also gorgeous, there’s that.
And Gwen has no good reason to ask her out for lunch. Honestly, none. Nothing good can come from this. Mildred asks if the citizens of California will be paying for this meal and Gwen swears that isn’t the case, no, absolutely not. Even still, Gwen doesn’t expect Mildred to say yes. She doesn’t think Mildred expected Mildred to say yes.
But she does. Tells herself it’s for Edmund, maybe this’ll be the one politician who listens, who’s willing to look past the surface facts, willing to help. Except she gets there and they don’t talk about Edmund. It’s not because Mildred doesn’t know how to bring it up, she’s made her case dozens of times. She just…they don’t talk about him, and that feels like a betrayal, but Gwen’s kind and funny and fascinating (much to Mildred’s annoyance), and she just…doesn’t feel like getting into it.
Meanwhile Trevor, Gwen’s campaign manager/law school buddy/best friend/lavender marriage soulmate, if they were in a different time, is like bitch, what’re you doing? Yes, everyone knows you’re gay as hell, but you can’t be chasing girls right now, you can’t afford to be distracted. You especially can’t afford to look distracted. And you can’t be robbing the cradle while looking distracted.
“She’s not that young.”
“Uh-huh. She wears Winnie the Pooh clothes.”
“Scrubs, those are scrubs. Scrubs aren’t clothes.”
“Uh-huh.”
“She works in a children’s ward, Trevor.”
“Uh-huh. I really wish you wouldn’t do this, but since you care nothing about me and my mental state and all the hours and hours of hard work I’ve put in for you—”
“After badgering me into hiring you over someone more qualified.”
“Hey! More qualified. I resent that. Anyway, if you insist on ruining my day, at least wear that face cream I gave you. Should make you look less like you’re robbing the cradle.”
“Go to hell.”
“And don’t do the oyster thing. Not on a first date, in the middle of the campaign.”
“It’s not a date, it’s just lunch.”
“Uh-huh.”
Gwen doesn’t do the oyster thing. Not on the first date, which neither of them acknowledge as a date, for entirely different reasons. But then there’s a second and a third, and sex, lots of sex, and it’s harder to pass off as just friendly.
And yeah, the sneaking around that Gwen hates. That Mildred says she doesn’t mind, and she actually doesn’t seem to all that much, which Gwen finds slightly concerning. Mildred’s good with secrets though, she’s good with being kept a secret. Mostly. Which again, Gwen finds concerning.
There’s pillow talk and Mildred admitting more about herself than she has to anyone, ever. Which still isn’t nearly as much as what Gwen admits, but it’s a relative thing. And still, Mildred doesn’t talk about Edmund. Gwen finds that one out on her own, stumbles across some old photos, a scrapbook of Edmund’s crimes. Gwen’s briefly concerned that Mildred is one of those people who’re deeply attracted to serial killers, but the truth is…something else.
Mildred tells her things. Some of the deeper, darker stuff, but not much, not yet. Tells her how she’s written to everyone she can think of because he’s a boy, okay? He was in an impossible situation, they both were, no one ever helped them, so Edmund decided he had to die. No one helped them before, no one helps them now. There’s anger and tears and Gwen holding her and she can’t help asking why Mildred didn’t talk to her sooner, if she’s had no problem asking for help from strangers.
“Because you aren’t,” Mildred says in a way that makes it clear she’s figuring this stuff out as she says it. “A stranger, you aren’t. You never were and I couldn’t…I didn’t want to become one to you. I didn’t want you to look at me like that.”
“Oh Mildred…”
Mildred doesn’t actually ask her to help. She doesn’t want Gwen to think that’s what it’s all been about. It was supposed to be, but it isn’t. She doesn’t ask. Gwen digs into things herself, digs into this kid who was barely double-digits when he did these things. Made all the headlines at the time, but that was over a decade ago, he’s been locked up ever since. Most of Mildred’s money goes to him, one way or another.
Gwen hides it from Trevor—the murderer, not the sex, he knew about the sex before she ever said anything—for as log as she can. But he’s always been nosy, and now he has a paid excuse to be nosy, and he nearly has an aneurysm when he hears why it is that Gwen’s suddenly digging into this case instead of kissing the babies of gay couples, like she should be.
Gwen cannot do this. Nope, absolute no. She cannot be sneaking around with the younger sister of the kid they’ve made all the documentaries about. Doesn’t matter that she’s running on a platform of prison reform, especially as it pertains to juveniles, this is not the case to start with, especially when she hasn’t won yet.
And Gwen knows. She knows. She argues with Trevor about it until he decides they both need to stop because Gwen has a speaking engagement tomorrow and she can’t sound hoarse. There are many further arguments, arguments about principles over politics, but Gwen knows he’s right. She cannot, should not, be doing any of this, at least not yet. It’s dangerous, it’s selfish, Mildred deserves better than being someone’s secret again. Gwen should break it off, at least until the election. She’s not being fair to either of them like this. They should stop, at least for a few months.
Except it’s Mildred and she’s totally hijacked Gwen’s everything, and the thought of stopping makes her ill, and everything about this is terrifying, the most terrifying thing ever.
And then there’s the checkup and the routine mammogram. Gwen started those earlier than most because somebody’s aunt on somebody’s side of the family got sick, somebody’s cousin on the other side did too.
Scratch that, there’s a new winner for most terrifying thing ever.
It’s good, they say. She started early, they caught it early, this is good, they have treatments for this. Good, they say, while Gwen damn near passes out. She’s got a campaign to finish, she can see the Too Sick to Serve headlines already. A bald look would not test well, she’s sure it wouldn’t. She talks to Trevor about that, about the campaign, until he tells her to shut the fuck up, yanks her into a crushing hug. He cries, damn him, and that makes her cry.
She’s glad he’s there.
She wishes Mildred was.
She is also relieved as hell that Mildred isn’t, that they’re on opposite sides of the state right now. No point having Mildred see her like this, having her worry. She’s got enough to worry about, enough to hurt about.
Not that Gwen isn’t planning to tell her. She is. It’s only been a few whirlwind months, but Gwen knows enough to realize that a lie of omission would be a bad, bad, bad idea where Mildred’s concerned, regardless of intention. Gwen doesn’t think of hiding it anyway, not really. Mildred deserves better then that. When and how to tell the public…that’s a completely different clusterfuck of a situation, but Mildred, Gwen just wants to tell her in person. That way Mildred can see her face when she promises it’s no big deal (hopefully without seeing how terrified she actually is), and Gwen will have all the paperwork and things she knows Mildred will want to see, and they can hold each other, and it’s just, it’s not phone call news.
Except then it’s headline news, because somehow it’s leaked. Fox News is having a field day, certain corners of the Internet are already gleefully writing her obituary, and she’s missed literally hundreds of calls by the time she gets a look at her phone. At least half of those are from Mildred. Mildred who actually sounds hysterical for the first time since Gwen’s known her, that bastard on the news with the hair, he says you’re dying, why aren’t you answering, how long have you known, please, please pick up the phone, just pick up the phone god dammit.
She’s managed to keep Mildred a secret for months. This? This doesn’t last three days before it’s everywhere. Gwen does get an I love you for the first time ever, but seeing as Mildred’s sobbing over her voicemail when it happens, the joy is somewhat muted.
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Long Way Home | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Part 3)
MY MASTERLIST
Series Masterlist
Summary: This urgent patient happened to be the last person Bucky had expected to be his patient.
Word Count: 2921
Pairing: Doctor!Bucky Barnes x Doctor!Reader, Doctor!Pietro Maximoff
Warnings: Heart Disease, Hospital, Surgery.
A/N: Give it up for another clusterfuck from yours truly. Thanks again to my dearest @dramadreamer14 for the beta, as always. Thank you all for reading this fic, and for all the love you’ve given me. It really means a lot. I DON’T DO TAGLISTS! Divider by @firefly-graphics <3
As Bucky walked into Dr. Y/L/N’s office, there were a thousand questions that he wanted to ask her. But not even one of them was, ‘Hey Bambi, would you let me keep my promise now?’ Although asking that exact question certainly would have answered all of the other questions that he had, it was safe to stay that this man was not necessarily the sharpest scalpel in the OR. But then again, neither was she.
“Dr. Y/L/N, I hope this is not a bad time?” He offered her a rather polite smile once he stepped into her office, watching her hobble towards him. He raised his brow slightly at the sight of her, as it seemed like she was struggling to even stand in front of him.
She was leaning against her desk, as though she was meaning to hide something from him. “Oh no, not at all.” She returned his smile, darting out a hand towards him. “You’re Dr. Barnes, right? The new guy. Steve’s told me a lot about you.”
His eyes darted towards her feet for a moment, eyeing the pumps that she was wearing before looking up to meet her eyes. “Oh please, call me James.” He shook her head. “I hope he wasn’t too honest about whatever he’s told you.”
“He told me that you wouldn’t mind bitching about him with me.” She admitted, laughing softly as she remembered her conversation with the Chief that morning. “But he also told me that you were the best there is. Is that an honest truth?”
“That I wouldn’t mind at all.” He agreed, glad that Steve had plenty of people at this hospital to humble him. “But as for whether or not I’m the best there is, I’m not one to brag. I guess it’s best that I let you be the judge of that.”
Speaking of which, there was a reason why he was here right now.
“Well then, why don’t we get right to it?” Y/N suggested, motioning him to take a seat as she limped around her desk and sat down.
Bucky gave her a nod before he bit down on his bottom lip, taking a seat across from her as he watched her pull up the patient’s file on her computer and turn the screen towards him. “You know, before we get started, I did have a few questions to ask you.”
Y/N paused for a moment as she was slipping off her shoes under her desk, and leaned forward to meet the man’s bright blue eyes. “Yes, of course.” She could not deny that there was something familiar about him, but she could not pinpoint what it was. Had they met before?
He leaned forward in his seat to look straight at her. “Dr. Y/L/N, why is it that you have requested a consult with me for a patient who is thirty five years old with transposition of the great arteries, if all of your patients are under the age of two?”
She raised her brow for a moment, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “I wonder…” She responded with a shrug, watching the man look towards the screen to see the patient’s name flashing before him.
Patient Name: Y/L/N, Y/N
It was her. She was the patient. She was his patient.
“You’re my patient.” Bucky finally understood the situation that he had just got himself into. It was one thing for him to convince his patient for surgery, but it was a whole other ball game when the patient who was refusing surgery happened to be a surgeon herself and a well-accomplished one at that. It seemed like Bucky’s job was a lot harder than he had thought.
“Not yet.” She replied. “I only promised Tony that I would meet with you before I made my decisions, so don’t get so ahead of yourself.”
His lips curled into a smirk at her words. “Well then… since you happened to request a consult from me, here’s my professional opinion. I read through your file while I was on the plane, and I have to admit, I was surprised that I would get to be working with… a walking miracle, really.” He admitted, genuinely geeking out. “I’m sure I don’t have to say… Thirty years ago, Tony performed a groundbreaking surgery. It’s an honour, really.”
“Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Dr. Barnes.”
Seriously, could he stop geeking out for one goddamn moment? This woman was probably looking for a reason to turn him down as they were speaking, and he was only going to make it worse.
Straightening himself up, Bucky gave her a genuine smile. “Well then, let’s try honesty. I came across Tony’s notes from your last follow up. I couldn’t help but be disappointed by what I saw.” He said, rather confidently, as he wanted to show her that his fascination towards her case did not mean that he was intimidated by her at all. “It says that you’re experiencing aortic valve regurgitation, but you refuse to go for a TAVR?”
A transcatheter aortic valve replacement, or TAVR, was a minimally invasive surgical procedure that was performed through making an incision in the patient’s leg and inserting a catheter up to the heart. There would be no need to crack open the chest, so there was less likely for there to be any complications. It shouldn’t even take more than an hour to replace the valve. It was the safest thing to do.
“I’m not having surgery again.” Y/N shook her head.
“Why not?” He asked, curiously. “Why are you refusing to go for surgery? When Tony switched your arteries thirty years ago, the prognosis was aortic valve regurgitation. This was expected, wasn’t it?”
“I knew it was possible. Probable,” she corrected herself. “But I’ve gone thirty years without having to have my chest cut open, and I’d really like to keep it that way. I don’t want to have to turn my life upside down again.” She explained with a sigh.
“Y/N, you do know that we’re not going to cut you open this time.” He reminded her, clearly not appreciating how stubborn she was. “The procedure is minimally invasive, and a lot less risky in comparison to an open heart surgery.”
“That doesn’t make me any less scared.” Y/N mumbled, perhaps hoping that he hadn’t heard her.
This was possibly the first time she had even shown a sign of her true emotions, but she felt the need to be transparent with this man. Not that she had accepted him as her doctor or anything, but there was something about him that made her want to trust him. Perhaps Steve’s reassurance that he would trust Dr. Barnes with his life may have given her a little push, but she wasn’t sold just yet.
Truth be told, she was surprised that the man had known her for five minutes and hadn’t even found her intimidating. It was no secret that she was stubborn, but it seemed that he was just as stubborn as she was.
She had put on a tough exterior and ruled the Department of Neonatal Surgery with an iron fist, when in reality she was terrified. No matter how much she had grown, no matter how much she had accomplished, no matter how stubborn she was, deep down there was a five year old girl named Bambi who wanted nothing more than to run around the playground with her best friend Buck. But she knew that she couldn’t do that anymore. Or at least that was what she assumed.
“If you’re scared, then just be scarier than whatever is scaring you.”
To say that the words that escaped his lips caused Y/N’s heart to skip a beat would be quite the understatement. “What?” She looked over at the man with wide eyes, blinking in surprise upon hearing those exact words, the same words that a certain five year old boy in Shelbyville, Indiana, had told her all those years ago.
Not that she remembered much about him except that his name was Buck, and their mutual love for Bambi. Truth be told, she hadn’t even seen him since her parents had told her that they were moving to Boston. When her mother had moved back to Shelbyville, Y/N had tried to search for him. But she had no luck. How could she find someone whom she didn’t even know? She couldn’t even be sure if Buck was his actual name, to be honest. And her mom had no memory of him.
Oftentimes, she wondered where he was or what he was doing. Where had life taken him in these thirty years since the last time they saw each other? Did he remember her like she did him? Or was she someone who could have been forgotten? Was he still out there somewhere? Or was he just an imaginary friend?
And worst of all, did he actually promise her that he would fix her heart, or was just all her imagination too?
“You sound like a kid, James.” Y/N was quick to shrug him off, knowing that letting her emotions dictate her decisions regarding surgery would not do her any good. She had to be practical, and she could not deny that. “Fine… I guess I’ll let you be my doctor. I mean, what choice do I have? They say that you’re the best there is, and I do want the best.”
“Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Dr. Y/L/N.”
Rolling her eyes at his response, she shook her head. “You’re an arrogant one, aren’t you?”
“Why do you think Steve hired me to replace Tony?” He asked, grinning widely.
“Good point.” She admitted, sighing. She just had to accept that he was Tony’s replacement in every fucking way. “But… as I was saying, I’ll let you be my doctor. But I won’t consent to surgery… not- not until I’m scarier than my own fears of going for surgery.”
A smile on his lips as she said that, Bucky gave her a nod. “That’s understandable.” He agreed, feeling slightly accomplished despite the fact that she still won’t go for surgery. “But I’ll have you know that I can be quite persuasive.”
“Oh is that so?”
Before Bucky could respond to that, there was a knock on the door.
Now usually, if she were in the middle of a consult, Y/N wouldn’t let anyone just walk into her office. But she recognized that knock, and knew that it was probably her best friend coming back to check in on her, given that he had ordered her to get some rest. “Come in, Piet!” Y/N called out before the door flung open and Pietro Maximoff waltzed in.
He had probably been expecting to see Y/N still napping on the couch, but to his surprise, she was wide awake. “Oh-” He paused upon seeing Bucky, his eyes darting towards his best friend, and his lips curling into a smirk. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had company...”
“I told you I had a consult this afternoon, didn’t I?” Y/N grinned at him. “Dr. Maximoff, have you had a chance to meet Dr. Barnes?”
“Dr. Barnes, as in… Wanda’s new boss?” He chuckled softly as he walked up to Bucky and offered him his hand to shake. “No, I haven’t had the pleasure.”
“You’re Wanda’s twin.” Bucky noted, as he rose from his seat and shook his hand. “She’s told me a lot about you.”
“Has she really?” He asked, curiously. He was certain that his sister had only met the man that morning.
Bucky nodded. “She mentioned that you work in pediatric cardiology. I hope that means I’ll get to see you around in my department.”
“I’m sure you will… when I’m not babysitting this grown child, of course.” He motioned towards Y/N, earning a look of utter disapproval from the woman.
“Is that what you do around here?”
“When I’m in the Blake Building, mostly. But most of my research happens at the Heart Center.” He informed the man, certainly eager to show what he was working on to someone so well-regarded. “You should stop by my lab sometime. I would love to show you what I’ve been working on.”
“Of course, you just let me know when and I’ll clear my schedule.” Bucky was always interested in learning about what his colleagues were working on, and that was certainly not going to change even though he had just started working at Mass Gen.
“I’m looking forward to it.” Pietro agreed before turning back to Y/N. “I just wanted to let you know that Dr. Romanoff has agreed to handle your patients for the rest of the day. I also asked her to find someone who will cover your shift tonight, so that you can go home and get some rest before the party.”
“I’m sorry, what?” She shook her head at his words. “Pietro, I only agreed to let Nat take my patients for the day. I’m still on call tonight.”
“And miss Dr. Stark’s party?” He asked, genuinely confused by how his best friend’s brain even worked. She tells him that she owes Tony Stark her life, but still had the audacity to say that she was working a call shift during the man’s retirement party. “He is expecting you…”
“He would understand if I’m not there.” She sighed. “Besides, what am I even going to do there?”
“You do remember that he asked you to make a speech, right?” Pietro asked as he finally planted himself on the seat next to Bucky.
“No, I haven’t forgotten about the speech. I just think that he would have asked about a hundred people to make a speech about him. Who would even care enough to listen to my story?” She asked him. She really believed that her story was not worth telling.
“I would.” Bucky interjected. “I think I’ve made it clear since the moment I walked into your office; I’ve always been interested in Tony’s clinical trials for the Stark method. You’re a living example of the difference he made. I think you should own up to that.”
Y/N looked over at Bucky for a moment and then back at Pietro. “Piet, you know how extravagant his parties are. I don’t even have a dress.”
“You don’t have to worry about that.” Pietro chirped up. “I’m sure Wanda has something she’d let you borrow.”
“If it makes any difference, I’ll be there.”
She rolled her eyes at the man as she turned back to him. “Then why don’t you make the speech?”
Bucky snickered before he shook his head. “I think I have more pressing matters to attend to. There’s a really difficult patient who’s giving me a run for my money, and they require my full attention.”
Pietro could not help but wish that he had some popcorn in his hands right now, as it seemed that he had a front row seat to the best show in town. He knew that Y/N was a stubborn one; she had been since they had first met in medical school. He had never seen someone who had barely known her bring out the side of her that she rarely ever showed, though he must admit, he hadn’t seen someone who handled her like this either.
Unfortunately, the show was over before it even got to the good part. With Pietro being paged, he found himself getting up to leave. “I guess I should get going. I’ll see you at the party. I’ll tell Wanda to meet you at your place at 5?”
Knowing that there was no getting out of it now, Y/N gave in. “Fine, I’ll see you at the party.”
A smile on his lips upon hearing her response, Pietro turned over to Bucky to bid him farewell and left Y/N’s office.
“I told you I was persuasive.” Bucky perked up.
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Are you telling me that you didn’t change your mind because I was going to be there?” He asked, cheekily.
“Convincing me to go to a party that I’m expected to be at is a lot easier than changing my mind on having surgery.” She reminded him.
This caused Bucky to chuckle softly and shake his head, leaning forward in his seat so that he could meet her gaze. “I can tell that you’re strong-willed, Y/N. I really don’t think that you’re someone who would give up that easily. And I’m not talking about consenting to surgery when I say that.” His expression turned serious. “I’m talking about your life. Are you willing to give that up because you don’t want to have one more surgery?”
His words hit Y/N like a freight train, and she began to realize that he was right. She was stubborn, but that did not mean that she was being rational. Now might be the right time to accept the harsh reality that she was indeed unwell. This was not something like the common cold or a headache that would pass.
“Fine, but it’s just one surgery.”
“Just one.” He nodded. “You can trust me, Y/N.”
As her eyes teared up, Y/N reached over to grab a tissue. “You better be the best goddamn surgeon in the wide world.”
And he really was.
#aj writes#long way home#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes au#doctor au#doctor!Bucky#bucky barnes series
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Family Support | Five x Reader
Summary: When Five doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings for you he asks his family for some help and things don’t go exactly as planned.
A/N: Five and you are both going to be like 19 in this and everyone else is their normal age. Also AU-ish in which they managed to save the world in 2019.
Word Count: 1,535
Warnings: none
_____________
The Hargreeves children were a lot of things. Powerful, combative, traumatized to say the least. All of them however were not good at one thing: expressing feelings. All of them were bad at expressing feelings in different ways. Klaus was too open, Vanya barely expressed them at all, Diego was too strong with his and Luther and Allison well they were confusing. And then there was Five. Unlike the others Five had trouble understanding his feelings, let alone expressing them. For some time he was fine with his situation but then you came into the picture.
Five remembers when he first met you. It was during one of his trips to Griddy’s Donuts. You were working there as a server to help pay your way through college. As usual he sat down at the counter with his head in a book and ordered one black coffee from Agnes. She lightly placed the cup in front of him and he picked in up to drink. When he took a sip though it was as if fireworks went off. This was the best damn cup of coffee that he had in years. Calling Agnes over he questioned who made it and when she pointed to you it was as if the world faded away. From then on he would go to Griddy’s anytime you were working. The coffee you made was great but seeing you was better. It took him a few weeks but he finally worked up the courage to talk to you. From that point on the two of you quickly became very close. Your kind and happy demeanor was refreshing and somehow meshed with his tough and sarcastic one.
And that’s where his issue was. Even though he enjoyed being around you it made him so flustered. He had no clue what was going on with himself recently. Every time he was with you his heart started racing, his palms became sweaty, he felt warm all over, sometimes he felt like he couldn’t breath. He wondered if he was sick or maybe even dying. Trying to grasp what was going on he turned to his family for help. He called them all over to the house only telling them that it was an emergency.
When his siblings arrived they all sat in the living room staring at him.
“Well what’s the emergency? The world ending again?” Luther questioned impatiently
“I think i’m dying” Five responded
“Oh shit.” Diego says
“Oh no. Five, what is it? What’s going on?” Vanya questions sincerely
“Well I don’t know for sure that I’m dying but I think I am based on my symptoms.” Five responded
“Which are?” Allison asks
“Heart palpitations, excessive sweating, possibly fever, trouble breathing, lack of concentration.” Five answers “And they always happen when I’m around (Y/N).”
Klaus starts to laugh.
“What’s so funny about my imminent death Klaus? Keep laughing and I’ll make sure you pass first!” Five shouts at his sibling
“Now I might not be a MD but I am a doctor.” Klaus replies
Everyone looks at Klaus for explanation.
“I’m a love doctor and you my dear Five have caught the lovebug.” Klaus says turning his attention to Five
“What? Love? No it can’t be. I mean I just like spending all my time around her and talking to her but I mean I wouldn’t say that’s love is it? Oh shit am I in love with her?” Five starts to rant to himself “I- I don’t feel well. I feel all warm and my heart is racing again. I’m going to lay down.”
His siblings all give each other knowing looks. Five is absolutely, deeply, madly in love with you even if he couldn’t see it himself, but they had a plan to help push him in the right direction. Without his knowledge they decided to set up a blind date for the two of you. Luther, Diego and Klaus were tasked with writing the note to get you to come over and Allison and Vanya were to plan the date. The three boys put their heads together to write the invitation, each writing on section of it and then had Diego deliver it to you at work on your break. Going into the back room you read it. It said,
Dear (Y/N),
You are a girl and that is pretty cool. I think you do a great job at your job.
In my opinion you’re absolutely kickass. I wish I could be as cool as you are. Talking with you is like lighting a library on fire.
Your eyes draw me in like a nice glass of aged whiskey. I feel like i’m teetering on the verge between life and death when I am with you. You’re a radiant sight to see and are prettier than the kaleidoscope colors of a good LSD trip.
So I’ve heard at least! I don’t do drugs!
But I’m not lame as hell either. I’m really cool and tough and brooding. I’m a man of mystery.
But like my dad’s liquor cabinet I’m easy to unlock and there is so much good stuff inside of me.
But I only drink in moderation with adult supervision! Anyway you’re really awesome, and I think it would be cool if you could come over to hang out, with me later today, after your work shift is over because it would be odd to hang out at my place if you’re still at work because you’d still have to work.
My address is on the back. Come by later.
Sincerely,
Five, the handsomest ball of sarcasm ever
You laughed to yourself, you knew this wasn’t produced by the Five you knew and very much loved. Nevertheless went back to work and decided on stopping by his place later. Back at the house though the ladies were trying to put together a nice time for the two of you. They decided on...well they couldn’t decide. Allison wanted a movie night and Vanya wanted a relaxing dinner with music. Granted, they were biased in their ideas because they wanted to show off to you. Allison wanted to show you her movies and Vanya wanted to play her music for you. Luther supported Allison’s idea and Klaus supported Vanya’s and by the time Diego got back the living room was a mess of pillows, string lights and miscellaneous foods laying about. The siblings started to argue amongst themselves about how each of their ideas was better. Startled by the sound of commotion downstairs Five went to check it out. He stumbled upon the 5 siblings all arguing.
“Luther your parts of the invite were so bland!” Diego yells
“Well I had to compensate for all the crazy stuff Klaus wrote!” Luther retorts
“Crazy? You mean crazy romantic!” Klaus adds
“No! Crazy! Just like this clusterfuck of a venue! What did you two do while I was gone?” Diego asks his sisters
“Movie night is more romantic!” Allison replied
“Not when the movies you’re watching are of you! What are you some kind of narcissist?” Vanya yells
“Oh that’s rich coming from you Vanya. You only wanted the dinner so you could show off your violin playing!” Luther replies
“And you only went with Allison’s idea because you love her!” Klaus chimes in while taking a drink from the liquor cabinet
Five had seen enough. Fed up with his siblings arguing he yelled,
“What are you pathetic excuses for human beings arguing about this time?”
All of the siblings stop their arguing and turn their attention to Five. They all look away in embarrassment at the situation.
“Well?!” Five presses
Klaus steps forward first and says,
“Well we just thought that...”
“Since you were having trouble telling this, (Y/N) how you feel about her...” Luther continues
“We thought that it would be nice to invite her over...” Allison adds
“And set up a surprise date...” Diego continues
“For the two of you.” Vanya finishes
“YOU WHAT!” Five yells “I can’t believe that you’ve done this! I really like (Y/N) and I mean REALLY like her. She’s going to think I’m a psychopath and want nothing to do with me if she sees all this. I get it you want me to admit to myself and her that I have feelings for her, but this? This is a mess! She’ll never want to be with me like that if she sees all of this!”
Five looks at his siblings who all have wide eyes.
“What? What are you sad sacks looking at?”
“Probably me,” You say making your presence known to Five
“(Y/N), I- I can explain.” Five stutters out as he turns around to face you
“No need. I do think some of your claims are false though,” You reply
“Huh?” Five questions
“I think I’d still like to be with you even with all this mess. I really like you too.” You say placing a gentle hand on his cheek
“Well if that’s the case then would you’d like to get some coffee with me?” Five asks
"I’d love to.” You answer
Five extends his hand out towards you and you grab it. With your fingers intertwining the two of you happily walk out the door together. As five is closing the door to his home you whisper to him,
“Your family is weird.”
“They are but they’re the best.” He says
#five#five hargreeves#five x reader#five x you#five hargreeves x you#five hargreeves x reader#hargreeves kids#5 hargreeves#hargreeves siblings#hargreeves family#hargreeves#the umbrella academy#umbrella acedmy#tua#tua five#ua#ua five#tua2#ua2#tua luther#tua allison#tua klaus#tua diego#tua vanya#luther hargreeves#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#diego hargreeves#vanya hargreeves
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Wounds (GT Angst)
This is a Shot in the Dark AU known at the “Dark Future AU”.
Fairies have been exposed to the world. Bounties have been placed on their capture. They’re not going down without a fight.
Characters belong to me and the lovely @marydublin5 / @little-miss-maggie , creator of the rad header image <3
Warning: Blood
(( More Dark Future AU ))
A human in the safe house.
It was unheard of. The news spread through the halls like wildfire, accompanied by frantic questions of potential evacuation. If one human had found the haven, surely a mob of them would soon breach the glamour barrier and capture every last fairy.
That morning, Zia only heard about the rumors and chaos secondhand. If evacuation was necessary, it would have been underway by now, she assured herself. Though she was chilled at the thought of a human somewhere on the grounds, she continued tending to her patients and studying diligently to be prepared for whatever wounds were brought before her.
During the past months, the healing ward had been so packed with the influx of arrivals that she scarcely found time to eat or sleep, let alone chase rumors. She couldn’t afford to lose sight of her role’s importance. Fairies showed up half-dead from their exhausting journeys, sometimes harboring injuries from humans.
Never had the world been such a hostile place for her kind.
“Saffron. Maeve.”
Zia looked up from her book, where she had been carefully studying an incantation for healing burns.
It was Audrine who had spoken. She looked more vexed than usual as she entered the healing ward with three unfamiliar fairies in tow. They didn’t appear to be injured, but they had the wide eyes of new arrivals who were no strangers to suffering. Saffron and Maeve, the leaders of the ward, assigned nearby healers to their patients and hurried to Audrine. Zia tried to focus back on her spellbook, but she couldn’t help but overhear
“I’m sure by now you’ve heard about the human,” Audrine said, skipping the pleasantries. “Well, we have a bit of a situation. Which is to say, we have a clusterfuck of a situation. The human brought these three with him, claiming he wanted to get them somewhere safe.”
“It’s true,” murmured one of the new arrivals, whose face flushed when he was ignored.
“Naturally, we can’t let him leave. He knows where and how to find us.” Audrine cast a sour look at the three fairies, who must have led the human through the glamour barrier—their most reliable line of defense. “He put up no resistance to being taken to one of the south wing dormitories. We have our best guards—excluding myself, at the moment—watching him.”
Saffron, normally a picture of gentle composure, pushed himself in front of Maeve protectively. “What does this have to do with us?”
Audrine sighed. “He’s injured. And our new friends say he is worth being healed.”
“He saved us!” the same arrival blurted.
“He… he and his other human friend broke in to save some girl with a traitor mark,” said another, a young woman. “His friend was killed. The girl became unstable. She was an ice affinity. She froze the whole room and killed all the humans in it—all except for him. She told him to save us. S-she… she didn’t make it. Her own magic consumed her.”
By then, Zia was openly staring, along with everyone else in earshot.
“Please,” said the third arrival, who couldn’t have been older than seventeen. She looked to the lead healers, voice hitching. “You have to help him! He’s hurt so bad. All he did was wrap up his wounds. The blood’s showing. He doesn’t even seem to care that he’ll die.”
That finally seemed to make Saffron waver. He shared a look with Maeve, who bit her lip and said, “His injuries are that serious?”
“I’ll do it,” Zia said, the words flying out before she could stop them. When all eyes turned to her, she squared her shoulders. “Take me to him.”
Saffron shook his head. “Zia, we don’t know the danger this man poses.”
“All the more reason I should go,” she said. “You won’t let Maeve go alone, and she won’t let you go alone. And… if he is dangerous, the safe house can’t afford to lose both of you. I’ll go.”
“Excellent, glad it’s settled.” Audrine beckoned Zia to follow before there could be any protest. Nodding curtly at the lead healers, Audrine left behind the new arrivals and all but pushed Zia out of the healing ward. “She will be guarded. If the brute dares to lay a finger on her, that finger will be incinerated.”
Glowing orbs hung all around the safe house, pushing back the night’s darkness. Zia and Audrine flew through the foyer, past the enormous staircases, and crossed into a part of the building that had not been structured with fairy accommodations yet. It made sense to keep the human in the south wing, where fairies rarely wandered. However, Audrine did need to shoo off a group of teenagers who were trying to peek into the corridor to catch a glimpse of the human.
Most of the doors in the expansive hall were open. A group of five fairies hovered at attention in front of the last dormitory.
“Any issues?” Audrine questioned Emiko, one of the guards.
“He’s hardly budged,” he said.
“That’s as good a sign as any.” Audrine turned to Zia. “Are you ready?”
Zia squinted past the doorway. Something fearful fluttered in her stomach. There were hardly any lights in the room, but she could see a massive form sitting at the edge of a human-sized bed. She had the peculiar and frightening feeling of looking into a monster’s den.
Humans had always been a threat, but the past months had proven they were more than that. They were apocalyptic. And she was about to put herself within reach of one.
He’s hurt.
“I’m ready,” Zia said in a small voice.
She entered the room flanked by Audrine and Emiko. The human raised his head as they approached. As her eyes adjusted, she saw that he was hunched forward, arms folded on his lap. A tingle ran along Zia’s skin as she sensed the injuries upon his body—puncture wounds that could have only been made with human weapons. Even a non-healer could have smelled the blood. It was a wonder he was still conscious.
The three of them came to a stop in front of the human. Dark as it was, he seemed to cast an even deeper shadow over them.
“What do you want?” His voice rumbled like thunder when he spoke, but Zia had a feeling he was barely muttering.
Audrine made a noise of contempt. “I want nothing more than to have you bleed out somewhere outside. The mess would be easier to clean up.”
“Fine by me.” The human grunted and started to rise.
Zia cried out involuntarily, covering her mouth too late to stop the noise. He was even bigger than she could have imagined. Audrine and Emiko immediately shouted incantations and ignited spells to their hands. The human looked between them with narrowed eyes before lowering himself back to the bed.
“Careful,” Audrine said. “If you frighten away your sweet little volunteer, I doubt you’ll be getting another.”
The human's overwhelmingly sharp green gaze settled on Zia. “Volunteer? Don’t tell me this is some kinda creepy sacrifice thing, ‘cause I’m not in the mood.”
“I’m a healer,” Zia said, wincing at how her voice cracked. She tried to compose herself and face him the way she would any other patient. “I’m here to help you. Can you point out what’s hurting the most—”
“No healers,” the human growled, leaning away from her like she was poison.
Zia stared, speechless. Considering the lengths humans had gone to abuse fairies for their magic, she hadn’t even considered that he would turn down the opportunity to be healed.
“Are you an idiot?” Audrine flitted closer in response to his retreat. “You’re lucky you weren’t killed the moment you stepped through the barrier! She’s offering to save you from a slow and painful death. Be grateful. That is, if humans have the capacity for it.”
The human tensed, and Zia’s eyes darted to his hands, certain that he would snatch Audrine out of the air to crush the life out of her. But he merely heaved a sigh and pressed his fingertips to his brows.
“No healers,” he said with a note of pleading. “Just leave me the fuck alone.”
Audrine hissed, clenching her fists at her sides. “You do not tell me what to do, you overgrown, thankless—”
Zia cleared her throat. “Audrine?”
She rounded on Zia with a glare. “What?”
Fiddling with her fingers, Zia was somehow more nervous than when the human was looking at her. “You’re very good at a lot of things,” she said delicately. “But I don’t think this approach is working. Do you think… I could have some space with him? And more light?”
Emiko looked at Zia like she'd gone mad. “Leave you alone with him?”
“I’m not helpless. You can watch from the door if you like. Just some space, please.”
Crossing her arms, Audrine reluctantly pulled away from the human. “Stay sharp, Zia. He could lash out at any moment.”
“I won’t,” the human muttered.
“And if he continues to refuse your generosity, don’t bother with him.”
Zia nodded, though she had no intention of leaving the room until the human’s wounds were healed. Audrine and Emiko sent out more orbs to fill the room with light. As her view of the human was cleared of shadows, Zia felt the spike of intimidation drive deeper. She tried to see past his size and found her heart breaking for him. He looked positively wrung out. He had a handsome face, no doubt about it, but his expression was cold and empty.
As Audrine and Emiko gave her the space she requested, she couldn’t stop thinking about what the new arrivals had said about the human. When his eyes slid to her, however, she blanked for a few seconds.
“I’m Zia,” she managed, folding her hands in front of her.
“Cliff.” The response alone seemed to exhaust him. “Look, sweetheart, I appreciate it, but I already said no—”
“No healers. I know. But what about some company instead?”
“You don’t want to be here. I’m scaring the daylights outta you.”
“Says who?”
He looked her up and down, heaving a sigh like a gust of wind. “You think you’re fooling anyone? You’re shaking like a leaf. Just go.”
“I’ve never been this close to a human,” she said. “I can’t help but be a little… nervous.”
“You should be more than nervous. Healers have it especially rough out there.” His fists clenched on his lap. “You stay the fuck away from other humans, you hear me?”
Her breath caught. It was distressing to process that level of anguish on such a large face. “I heard what the new arrivals said,” she murmured. “I’m sorry about your friend. And… and the ice affinity girl.”
“They were my family,” he snapped, making her flinch. Her fright eased when he looked a little sorry for startling her. He blinked hard and swiped tears from his eyes before they could fall. “Sylv,” he rasped. “And J—” His voice choked off, mouth pulling into a tortured grimace as he doubled over on the bed and heaved a sob.
“Cliff?” She was surprised to feel tears pricking at the back of her eyes. Flying in tentatively, she reached out a shaking hand to touch his knuckle. She looked up and tried to catch his gaze. “I’m so sorry,” was all she could say.
He shuddered. “It should’ve been me.”
“It shouldn’t have been any of you!” Her own tears finally began to fall. Her voice wobbled, and she pressed on nonetheless. “But you’re here. And I want to help. Please, Cliff… Let me heal you.”
“Don’t you know what’s happening out there?” His voice rose, and he practically shook her off. “Fairies are being caged in iron until their magic is needed for study or whatever sick shit the researchers decide it should be used for. Healers like you are being forced to use their magic. If they don’t comply, they’re tortured. Hell, they’re tortured anyway. I’m not taking anything from you. Not one fucking drop of magic. Don't waste your generosity on a human.”
“You’re not taking,” she insisted, flying up closer to his face and persisting when he tried to turn away. “I’m giving. You saved some of our own, and we’re grateful. Please. Let me do this, and we’ll be even. The ice girl… Sylv. She used her magic to save you, didn’t she?”
His gaze snapped to her, and for a moment, she worried she had crossed a line that would awaken his true human nature. But sorrow flooded in.
He swallowed hard. “She told me… to save as many as I can.”
In that moment, she knew that she was not looking at an enemy, monster, prisoner, or whatever else Audrine and the others wanted to think he was. Maybe even he needed to be convinced that he was none of those things. Pursing her lips, she tried to look at his face and not at the bloodied bandages she so desperately wanted to pull away and heal.
“We’re trying to save as many as we can, too,” she murmured. “Do you want to help?”
Their eyes met, and she did not flinch away as he studied her. Something shifted in his gaze. He gave a nod that was barely perceptible even at his size.
Zia inched toward a soaked red bandage on his upper arm. “Well, you can’t help us if you’re dead.” She started to tug, but it was wrapped too tightly for her to make any progress.
With a sigh, he unwrapped the wound and allowed himself to be healed.
#gt#giant tiny#giant#tiny#size difference#gt angst#gt writing#g/t#g/t writing#fairy#fairies#shot in the dark#dark future au#zia#saffron#maeve#audrine#emiko#cliff#mywriting
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